#Maybe the reason why I like my sister more is bc she was more present and supportive of me.

[stem-sister-scuffle]

STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 2 MASHUP 8

Raphella La Cognizi (The Mechanisms) vs Entrapta Princess of Dryl (Netflix She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

Raphella La Cognizi is an... Everything Scientist! (people said "all sciences"... also she loves magnets)

Entrapta Princess of Dryl is a Roboticist, Programmer and First Ones' Tech Historian/Archaeologist!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Raphella La Cognizi:

"All of them, probably, focused on chemistry and biology if I had to guess. She's the science officer of the Mechanisms, a band of immortal space pirates. They regularly blow up planets for fun. Raphaella designs them better bombs, tortures poor captives, tortures and vivisects her crewmates, etc. I love her also"

"it's unclear--she's a mad scientist archetype more than anything! she does, however, really like magnets. she's an immortal space pirate. she possibly made herself immortal. she's autistic To me. i love her so much. as cruel and brutal as she is... science!"

"everything? the more unethical the better, although she does really like magnets. Immortal space pirate! so she's got all the time in the universe to do science. until she dies, of course, which happens when (spoilers) she decides to fly beyond the event horizon of a black hole to find out what's on the other side. She's the science officer on her starship, which is just a badass job in general, and she's got WINGS. the wings are mechanical and the reason she's immortal. we don't know for certain if she was born with wings and they were replaced, or if she just went "wings sound fun!" and built some, or much of anything about her backstory. But! speculation is rife and there is a nonzero chance she's immortal because she experimented on herself, which is fun. Also she's just *really pretty*, ok, and has the voice of an angel. She is as cruel and brutal as she is science."

"shes immortal she has time to do all the sciences. well. she does die after like 10 millennia but even that is a final science project! she throws herself into a black hole, maybe to die, maybe to learn something new :) your honor i love her"

"SHES IMMORTAL SHES A MURDERER SHE DOES EXPERIMENTS ON HER IMMORTAL CREWMATES SHE LIKES MAGNETS SHES ***GAY*** shes my beloved"

Entrapta Princess of Dryl:

"She builds robots!!! She's curious and inquisitive!! She loves her robots!! She has the coolest hair and also I want to be her bestie. She's an absolute love"

"autism :)"

"Builds robots and computers for fun and companionship. Can take apart and understand almost any tech she is presented with. Autism lever set to max and I love her. Mandatory boob window in all her outfits and I've never related harder to a character."

"autistic icon, amazing inventor and app round excellent character"

"she has prehensile hair it’s literally the best thing i’ve ever seen in my life, it’s never once acknowledged by any of the characters as abnormal or explained in any way i’m literally obsessed with it. also autism queen"

"PIGTAILS!!!! autism"

"Entrapta is very bubbly and positive. She never lets anything like losing her friends or going to the bad side or getting put on a death-sentence island stop her from scientific pursuits! She actually drives a lot of the conflict in the story, as she explains the technological backstory of the world, and helps both sides be better at fighting. She loves data, doing experiments, and the scientific method. She's also in love with space. She is an autistic queen <3"

"phenomenal canon autism representation without being weird & shitty. also she’s so strange & wonderful & relatable in so so many ways. my computer is named Darla bc that’s what she named the AI for the spaceship in s5"

"She is THE science queen because she loves science so much and her love of it is INFECTIOUS. I don’t know anything about science but Entrapta makes it seem like the coolest thing in the universe. I love her"

"She ourple. I luv her"

"She's so passionate about her work. Takes through notes! Figured out how to hack her home planet!!! She's autistic as hell and I like her overalls."

"You won’t get autism like this anywhere else bestie"

"amoral mad scientist who flips between the good guys and bad guys, loves building so many inventions, ends up converting the head bad guy (for most of the series) to good through the power of love"

"She has outfitted her entire castle to be a maze, and installed electronic locks on some. Her staff seems to be mostly robots she has built herself. In good part reverse engineering or adapting ancient tech found on the planet. She's incredible at what she does and personally fixes, invents and builds a wide range of stuff from space ships to portals to a prosthetic exoskeleton to trackers to war machines. She can do it all. Autism win! Girlie has been criticised for being treated childlike or being unable to understand those around her to a ridiculous degree, but I'm honestly just glad she's not a Sheldon Cooper. Her favorite bots have personalities and therefore implied AI (but not the shitty kind), which means she's pretty fucking good at software too. She likes tiny foods."

"So very autistic about technology. Initially believes robots are way better than people, eventually makes human friends but also very much still has robot friends (I love Emily so much). Gets so excited about finding new First One's tech. Also her happy spinning around in a space suit in that one season 5 episode heals my heart every time I watch it"

"She's the planet's leading expert on ancient tech (sci-fi/fantasy universe) and develops most of the tech in the show and is very autistic about it. i love her"

"She is fun and funky. Chaotic neutral. Definitely some autism coding going on, which is very charming. She has a pet robot? It is cute"

"Bc she is ENTRAPTA!! No srsly she is such a well-written character. At times kinda morally grey but always lovable and great and she is truly amazing at what she does!! I'm pretty sure she's already been submitted but I wanted to make sure :)"

#stem sister scuffle #round 2 #raphella la cognizi #the mechanisms #entrapta #spop entrapta #she ra #netflix she ra #spop

[thebigbiwolf]

last line tag game

me neglecting my duties despite my fave @morning-star-joy tagging me in really fun games bc im the WORST <3

I'll post a little snippet from both, the first being more of a summary an the second straight from the edited first chapter of my Thing.

Alphas and Archdruids (ABOverse Alpha! Halsin/Omega!Reader)

The concept of “rules'' has loomed over Halsin like an ever-present storm - one of the many unpleasant byproducts brought about by his designation. Fate had ruled him the moment he’d been brought into this world - an alpha before he had even taken his first full breath, and an archdruid not long after.

Perhaps it is for that reason that he finds himself so opposed to inflexibility. Even as a young, spirited boy, Halsin believed that the only fixed rules are best set by nature, as they are not imposed by any outside force. As the earth spins, the sun knows to set, and the moon rises to meet it. An owl knows it must fly silently in order to procure its prey, just as the mouse knows it must forage to survive. The plants drink, grow, and bloom, all without a carrot or stick to steer them, as things should be.

There is one rule, however, that Halsin does not offer this same grace - one rule that, under no circumstances, should ever be broken, bent, or questioned. 

There is never to be an omega in his grove.

His subjects know this. The animals know it. The damn trees know it.

So why, then, is there one laying half dead on his exam table?

And worse yet, why does she smell so irresistibly like honey and… sunlight?

Tailor's Version (Post-BG3 Tailor!Astarion/Fem!Reader)

“I take it you won’t be attending, then?”

“Of course not,” Astarion says matter-of-factly, “Someone needs to be here to tend to things. This place isn’t going to run itself.” 

“It’s our sister’s wedding, Astarion. You can find someone to take over for a while, surely. Or hells, maybe you could, I don’t know, consider taking an actual vacation?” Petras crosses his arms, leaning his large frame against the wooden edge of the desk. The surface creaking under his weight. “It’s Waterdeep. The Waterdeep. Debaucherous-festivals-day-and-night, tavern-at-every-corner Waterdeep.”

“I’m aware.” Astarion’s tone is dismissive. He doesn’t spare his brother a glance as he unfolds the second sheet of paper. It’s, unsurprisingly, a very lengthy handwritten letter, which he skims over as Petras continues the assault on his ears.

-

feel free to do this if you'd like!

#my fics #these are not edited so #yeah #halsin/reader #astarion/reader

[moregraceful]

which ahl team would you most like to relocate to california? 2. what is your favorite live music experience you've ever had? 3. what is your go-to style of shoe?

these are so juicy omg thank you.

oh god. here's the thing, california has too many ahl teams and they're all better than my team so i want them all to get lost in the san joaquin valley forever. HOWEVER i think it is a true shame the wranglers moved up to calgary and i want them back here!! reasons: 1) the stockton heat were san jose's main rivalry. now we have the tucson roadrunners. i am tired of losing to the roadrunners after a third of my team goes down in consecutive 10 minute majors. at least with the stockton heat it was like, even if we lose, we're still morally superior, bc we are not in stockton. like how am i supposed to feel superior to tucson. tucson fucken rules. MORE IMPORTANTLY 2) it really makes me mad when minor league hockey teams fuck off to canada bc i feel like it does SO much for the game in america to have cheap local hockey where the players are accessible and often very enmeshed with the fanbase and the city! canada already has so many hockey teams! mind your business canada!!! one time i was talking to a guy at a cuda game and he was telling me like, yeah, my daughter's favorite player was [some random 3rd liner that predates me] and she was devastated when he got traded to the heat and cried, so i took her up to stockton to see him and he was so happy to see her. (she was 8 years old when i was talking to the man, so i think she was pretty significantly younger.) like...i'm sorry but that's so nice, man. you don't get that kind of fan connection with major league teams. california having an assload of minor league hockey teams presents a real opportunity for growing the game in this state! and the thing about having so many ahl teams in california is you can go on little roadtrips if you so wish! if your 6 year old daughter's favorite 4th liner gets traded, you can take a day trip up to stockton and see him and make her day AND make his day! god. no more hockey teams for canada!! you guys need to get into baseball!!!

oh man...this sucks so much bc it involves ryan adams. but one of my favorite concert experiences was going alone to a ryan adams & the cardinals concert in san francisco. they played so many of my favorite songs, the crowd was so friendly and welcoming to me (demographics of a cards concert at the time: 35-65yo white male. me at the time: 21yo mixed race girl), the band laughed at me for singing and dancing along to "easy plateau", and the concert was something like...god maybe 3-4 hours long and i just really sank into the music and the experience. my sister and i were living with our dad at the time and he was never home, and i got a call from her around 12am like, did you die. and i had to call her back after the concert at 1am like no, sorry, this band just has a deep back catalog. anyway it sucks to have lost the shine of that wonderful concert experience bc ryan adams is such a piece of shit, but it does stand out as a particularly special concert experience. it was one of the last shows i went to where i just truly felt like every part of it was for me.

i recently discovered vans slip-ons. why was i wasting so much time with converse when i could be wear vans. my favorite vans slip-ons have flowers on them but i also have a pair of blue and a pair of green. i have recently become a monster who doesn't always wear socks, so it's a true dirtbag california look. beryl gave me a pair of their docs and a pair of their red wings boots so i look like a real badass in the winter, but honestly for 7 months of the year at this point i'm just rocking vans.

thank you for asking my friend!!

#every day i get closer and closer to starting that california hockey podcast that is just celebrating california ahl hockey #the only thing stopping me at this point is that i simply do not think the world needs more men talking about hockey on podcasts #even if my male hockey podcast would be better than all the other's men's hockey podcasts #bc it would a) have a hard 15 min limit and b) be JOYFUL and full of LOVE and RESPECTING OTHER PEOPLE'S JOURNEYS #but again: i do not wish to add my voice to the hockey podcasting scene. the last thing we need is more MEN. TALKING. #cage replies #hopetorun #shout out to men i love y'all but we need to stop starting podcasts :/

[essayofthoughts]

Scuttles in

I still think about the Tiefling AU ok

And given your recent blorbo-ing of Kash and Zahra, how that might impact Percy's dynamic with the later especially.

Do Zahra and Lilith teach Percy some tiefling culture basics? Thaumaturgy manners, or that one comic with instinctive tiefling head bonks? Tricks for hiding the horns under a hood ir shawl and making it look natural?

(Also, how Vex potentially sleeping with Zahra might throw a wrench in Kashra's development for a lil longer, maybe? 👀)

Ooh fun questions!

I think I've already said to you that contrary to my usual interpretation and belief, Percy and Lillith do bang in this AU bc Percy is dealing with some shit, not only trauma regarding the Briarwoods' attack and the loss of his family and home but also his own dysphoria due to his change of self, his utter loss of autonomy over how he presents himself and is percieved. And. Because of that baggage, he thinks that it's okay with Lillith because she's a tiefling. He's not passing on his corruption to someone else because she's already got that planar influence. He doesn't know why he's a tiefling now when he wasn't before and he's afraid that whatever taint infects him might infect others - but if someone's already a tiefling... it can't hurt them, right? They're used to it.

As for Zahra, I mean.

This Percy speaks Abyssal because of Orthax, and most tieflings speak Infernal. On the one hand this means Percy can listen in on the twins sometimes - they both speak Elvish and Abyssal (canon Percy knows the former and Celestial, in this he knows both and gains Abyssal after his change) - and on the other hand... this stands out as wierd to Zahra! Because she knows tieflings - Zahra, Lillith, Lillith's sisters (her other cousins) - and she knows they speak Infernal. So... it's definitely a first inkling for him that something's significantly usual what happened. Meanwhile for Zahra... I feel like it might make her wonder a little if that's why he's weird by tiefling standards?

She first finds out he speaks Abyssal because she goes to ask him, the other tiefling in the group, a very quiet, casual, in Infernal, "hey, everyone cool here?" kind of question. A "you know these people, they're not shitty about what we are, right? how worried/on alert do I need to be?" - and Percy doesn't understand her. He also made no move to ask her that in turn, which might be because he's familiar with most of the group but packed in with him speaking Abyssal and not Infernal just makes her think Weird and Wrong.

Thing is, Percy is pretty polite for the most part, so I can't really see him committing a social faux pas - he's so exacting about etiquette I can't see him really prying in a way that'd violate any unspoken rules of tiefling subculture - but because it's a new thing for him, I can see him just not observing it in ways that kind of blindside her? And for her, the way he keeps his tail tucked around himself when he doesn't need it for balance, the way he keeps his claws tucked away or under gloves, the way he seems uncomfortable with his tiefling aspects - that'd make her think of abuse (which she is canonically familiar with!) and wonder if he was taught to be ashamed of himself and kept isolated and that being the reason for his ignorance. So I can see her trying to gently teach him to be a bit more at ease with himself (and maybe some more tiefling subculture specific things, like getting a sense of each other's magic and when it's appropriate to use it, the little check in of "these people cool?", virtue names - though I don't think Zahra has one, or Lillith, but they are a tiefling thing).

This all said, on learning there's tiefling subculture etiquette Percy would absolutely absorb it like a sponge; boy gets so specific about social rules and is so careful not to fuck up. I really do get the impression that some of that is fuelled by anxiety (especially given how he splutters and gets awkward at other points - he likes to have a script, so I'd be shocked if he didn't have social anxiety or some overlapping neurodivergency).

As for that last point. Well.

As I figure it, Vex comes onto Zahra after the tomb because she wants somoene who isn't a mess over it and she wants to enjoy being alive! She doesn't want to have to hide her own emotions for sake of everyone else - she was he one who died, for fuck's sake, she should be allowed to feel her own emotions about it! And, well... yeah it hit her hard, but also she is really thrilled to be alive! (She is repressing hard, and has made her expressed opinion her only Allowed opinion.) And. Zahra is similar to Vex. They understand each other. So Zahra turns Vex down, but probably does talk to her a little, help Vex process things she was avoiding, and probably gives her hugs and cuddles. Vex does tend to seek to be alone when she's going through it, but I think someone who understands and doesn't judge her? I think she'd feel safe and also emotionally and pysically knackered, and so... sleep.

This probably does complicate things a bit for Kash though, at least until Zahra clears things up for him. I don't think it'd impede them much, but I do think it might prompt Kash to actually start to think about and process things more, having that tangible example of the kind of decisions one might make when not fully processing things.

After all, if he were to make the decision to take a risk with someone else rather than Z, because he's afraid of fucking up there - well, he'll probably carry that regret forever.

Send me asks about my fic ideas!

#tiefling percy au #tiefling au #vox machina #percy de rolo #vex'ahlia #zahra hydris #kashaw vesh #kash #vex #zahra #blorbologist #ask

[reaperkaneki]

ok here are my Thoughts on gin noto

under cut bc it got long lol

first off, he is very strong representation. as in, i think this might be the platonic ideal of a transmasc character. which has its good points and bad.

sweet-p’s arc was rooted in some obviously transphobic jokes/points/etc but at its core, her arc felt well-intentioned and overall she was definitely portrayed as one of the most sympathetic of the musicians (who are antagonists but certainly not outright villains, which the musician route makes abundantly clear). she also is not, like, described as trans per se, mostly as a crossdresser who loves cute things and wishes she were a cute girl (so like, she’s trans) and honestly her arc is about self-image and body dysmorphia in general (weight and age and outside perception are all major factors). and that’s what sets her apart from gin, gin is very much about Gender Dysphoria And Conforming To Societal Gender Roles first and foremost.

unlike sweet-p’s writing, gin’s doesn’t have any overt flaws to point to, which is why i had to mull it over for a while to figure out what was missing, and i think it’s because it is very much aimed at a cis audience. the narrative itself is perfectly fine, it’s the meta-narrative that bothers me.

when gin confesses that irl, he was assigned female at birth and presents as female in his day-to-day life, and asks the player, does this change anything, there is a right answer and a wrong answer. the wrong answer is to tell him that you don’t care what gender he is, it doesn’t change anything at all; gin perceives this as a half-assed, dismissive response said without thinking and becomes upset and it locks you out of the rest of his character episodes. the correct answer is to tell him that you don’t know, you’re not sure. maybe it does change things between the two of you. gin feels that this is a understandable position to take, like, of course it might be a big deal, it certainly feels like a big deal to him!

and yes, to someone who hasn’t encountered a trans person before, that’s probably a reasonable response. to me, specifically, a fellow transmasc person, i think i sorta laughed at this part because, like, the only thing that would change if a coworker or friend or whatever told me that they were actually stealth trans this whole time (and that’s being generous bc gin is Not Slick lmfao the foreshadowing for him being trans is super obvious to anyone who knows) i’d be like cool! love that for you. etc etc. bc transgenderism is Normal to me.

but the game assumes You Are A Cis Person Who Isn’t Sure How To React To Trans People. the game doesn’t let you be trans. there’s not a nonbinary option, despite having a cyborg for an antagonist and, more egregiously, a canonically nonbinary character in your party. (i’d say pronouns, but that’s not quite the same in japanese.) not that i was expecting that to be possible, but it is a clear separation of gameplay and story that hinders roleplay (in an rpg where your character’s backstory is almost completely undefined)!

this is not to say that gin is poorly written. like i said, he’s like the platonic ideal of representation. he’s easy to clock specifically because his experiences ring true; he’s always, always, always overcompensating and posturing “as a man”, he’s trying to conform to his own personal image of “what men do”, “how guy friendships work”, “what guys are interested in”. when asked why he gets along with women so well, he lies and says it’s because he has an, uh, older sister! so he’s spent a lot of time around women! he dresses trendy, but not too fashionably (because that’s feminine, he’s function over form allegedly), and the cut of his clothes is soooo. well. the silhouette is masculinizing, or at least androgynous, let’s say. he even wishes he were taller.

i’m pretty sure i’ve done most of those things. this is writing that either speaks from experience or understands the prompt and has done the goddamn research.

it is, however, very, VERY cool that he actually turns out to Not Be A Man, at least in the sense he’s always wanted to be. REALLY good nonbinary arc that i wish wasn’t constrained to, like, the last two character episodes. it’s the one interesting ‘twist’, and i love that it explains a lot of things about him! when he talks about working as a woman irl and busting his ass in heels, he sounds proud, even as he admits that presenting female always made him uncomfortable. and lo and behold, his catharsis effect sports a pair of gold heels! if he was just a hypermasculine trans man, that would be super uncomfortable, as if it were some sort of transphobic indicator of his ‘true self’ being feminine. but no, it’s because he’s hiding that aspect of himself. he repressed his masculine tendencies to conform to social norms, and then inadvertently did the same to his feminine side, but both are important. he likes the heels.

i also like that he’s bi and acknowledges that his relationships never worked out bc he hadn’t figured out his shit yet. it do be like that sometimes.

unfortunately, i think he’s also kind of boring? like, besides her wanting to be a cute girl, sweet-p had other stuff going on, she had that boke/tsukkomi routine with stork, she had a genuine love for yume-kawaii (whereas while gin has many interests, a not-insignificant part of those interests is male posturing), she was even a musician! i understand that gin’s blandness is On Purpose because he dislikes rocking the boat (but he hates posers, which was a genuinely interesting reaction from him that didn’t feature as strongly in his arc as i wanted. even kiriko comments on it), but doesn’t change the fact that he ain’t weird enough! can’t even be an only sane man bc he goes along with everyone’s bs lol

anyway gin is cool and well-written as a trans character but missing a bit otherwise. i’d still definitely love to hang out and get beef bowls and boba with him :)

#im tired as shit from work so like this is rambly nonsense rather than well-written analysis #but yeah. caligula effect good #caligula effect 2 spoilers #i guess. its below a read more. #this post is for like No one but me and janelle #niche jrpgs my beloved…. niche hrpgs can save me i know it

[zeenbean]

im bored so heres my oc description

so this was just a quick sketch. i dont reall like the style but whatever. also this storry is written to be in comic so it has a lot of character developtments and main aspects of a story

1)lola

idk why she looks so weird but anyway. she's best friend of Amy(mentioned below) she's just living, now when holiday is starting she got summer job in some coffee shop. the same coffee shop where Amy got the job. they became friends. yay. i don't have much more than that i was thinking about Gia killing her(DONT ASK ME WHY I DUNNO) but she kinda new.

2)amy

she's the main character. she has a lot of lore for some reason and her pre-version was something COMPLETELY different. but ill talk about that later. one time she goes home after school and any of her parents neither her sister aren't home. its weird, she waits, after two hours its weird. she calls the 911(not really were livin' in Czechia) and bla bla she gots teleported to another reality where she is dead. than she gots teleported back. fast forward to present day, she's in another reality, she cot control about the porting and she has some other powers like idk reality manipulation but she like can only change color of some pencils or something. than she meets kiri, bla bla, than she mets gia, version of her from another universe, bla bla, than she almost gets killed by ms B(yes its not full name i was just too bored to actually give her some name and personality of any other than being a bitch, which is kinda funny saying her "name" is ms B. in older stages she actually had a name, beliangage, but that was too long, sounded weird and also sounded for some reason like beldam from Coraline. back to Amy, I'm ending with her being in her universe after fixing what Gia did in the drawing "don't trust short-haired version of me" and someone calling on her phone. it was her "missing" mom. actually, the missing parents was one of the oldest ideas bcs i didn't wanted the orphan cliché. her parent went "missing" because Gia at that time wanted to delete her parent from reality and accidentally deleting them from EVERY universe. bye this was long.

3)gia

what am i supposed to say. she stopped talking to her family bcs she found out about her powers and the amazing ms b, like girl- anyways, she's weird. she likes the idea of the whole universe being deleted except one, even though ms b wanted more amy to help her and that is the reason why gia is jealous of amy, she wanted to be the best one. bla bla, she gets mad ot her for something, she pretends to be her in the news, the drawing "dont trust short-haird version of me" happens and she realizes what se had done. but no redemption. were not doing that here. shes supposed to be here bcs even tho she could be "bad" and amy "good", theyre there to compliment eachother nd show that amy. is. not. good. pls. im not doing this anymore.

4)kiri

starting with my favorite, namelogy(does that even exist?) a lot of people thought that the name is from avatar, but i had the idea of her even before. ind the name comes from...cheese. i need help. in our country theres like this cheese spread thats called "cheese kiri" and i thought it would be so funny if her name was kiri too. potentionally a punchline for a joke that would be too cringe to even be written in the script. so about kiri, she just like spawned to amys life, she was like one of the customers and she forgot to do something with her eyes and amy was like wtf so she asked her, she didnt respond, but than she gave her a little note with like can you come please outside at 17:00 i need to tell you something, than telling her something and than disappearing💀. anyways, i thought about that lot but i was thinking if her and amy maybe getting together. i didnt want romance in that story bs i dont really enjoy romance media myself(except good omens, everything except good omens, GO is consuming my brain for the last year and i dunno what to do) so idk.

anyway, little bit of namelogy for the other ppl. the most generic one is gia, i just searched some names. originally amy was supposed to be gia and gia also gia but that would be too much confusing for everyone, even i now mess up somethings their names. amy how i said was supposed to be gia but than i heard the sonf from Britney Spears "if u seek amy" for thr bazzilionth time and thought it would be really good idea to net have two characters that almost look the same,ARE THE SAME PERSON and have the same name so i just picked amy. i actually have a classmate and exbestfriend amy and ppl around me thought she was the inspiration for the name but no, and if ur reading this amy, no sorry, ur not special. and the origin of lola? when i thought about naming her, it was around that time when the song "her name was lola, she was a show girl" was trending so i just went for lola. no funny story, no cheese.

okey this was a lot of work. english is not my first language so im sorry if there was some mistakes. if this wasn't about my ocs, id give it to my english teacher to give me some extra grade bcs she cant speak English and she gives me bad grades just bcs she marks some shit wrong even if its right.

thats it, bye.

#artwork #art #digital art #digital illustration #help #oc #oc art #my ocs #original character #oc rp #oc lore #oc stuff #ocs #my characters #artists on tumblr #drawing

[ginnsbaker]

i just binge-read the whole series and I'm losing it.

two characters that love each other so much yet can only hurt because of the current circumstances is my kind of angst

it's such a compelling story and i love the narration between these two 🥲

i'm also dreading Nat finding out the fuckery R has been doing and how she will react. like she knew that something like that could happen; yelena was too eager to start something with r, r was sorta interested but Nat could see how fucked up R was and i'm willing to bet she also knew that R was not done with the self-destructive behavior.

i def understand where Piet is coming from, whatever mistakes he has done in the past and whatever behavior he keeps up even tho he is engaged gets trumped by the fact that his twin sister is in a hospital bed after a s* attempt as a direct result from R's recent mistreatment of Wanda.

i get that he's a cheater, he knows that, he doesn't try to act like he isn't, ofc he's gonna be mad at R, he knows sort of knows how Wanda would feel and he knows that that fact doesn't excuse or make it 'deserved' to be treated like that. i'm just sad for Wanda bc she shouldn't take that treatment and feel like she needs the punishment. what she did was very wrong and fucked up, but in the end she agreed to the divorce, what i think she should've done was give R more time, it's clear that R hadn't fully processed her trauma - from discovering her spouse was having an affair to assaulting the other party of the affair to then getting a divorce (plus moving away, leaving a dog behind, etc.) - no one should expect R to be okay.

i hope that last chapter was Wanda wanting to take some time for herself, they both need to reevaluate where they are in the present, what they want and if it's healthy to pursue it.

also while i do think Yelena and R shouldn't be together I do like that we get to explore the 'could've been' bc as R said it Yelena was her right person, wrong time except maybe that was just R trying to understand her feelings at the time, of not being over wanda yet but feeling something towards Yelena. i don't think it's a case of right or wrong person/timing, it feels more like 'settling', they both like each other so they 'should' be together, it's something that i feel makes up all the 'boring' marriages out there. I'm in no way or shape an expert on love but I feel like a partnership shouldn't be 'easy' in the sense that it feels convenient to just be together, it also shouldn't be all about suffering, but somewhere in the middle where you challenge each other to be the best you can. anyway, I don't feel like that's what Yel and R are for each other.

also pls don't compare what R and Wanda did to each other, they are different things coming from different places; while R was clearly meaning to hurt Wanda and get her 'feeling out' on her, Wanda didn't act that way, in fact it was out of her lacking something within herself and as selfish as it sounds it had nothing to do with R. R's actions have everything to do with Wanda and her complex emotions towards what happened (but they're both So Not Okay)

ps. super excited for more 😃

I like what you said about the last part, that what they've done are not comparable at all. R's was reactive. Overall, it's just sad to see the repercussions of cheating in their lives.

I'm curious, how long did u binge read it lol? It must have been a lot to take because there's a reason why i update once a week, due to the angst.

Thank you so much for reading and for sharing your thoughts ❤️

#ilgoss asks #rougemidnight04

[cheemken]

hey hi going insane over your diantha/sycamore siblings hc pls I want more gimme pls on my knees

Asks like this makes me feel bad for all the angst I have for these two ngl hahaha

But hey have some more stuff abt em uwu

•both of them cut ties w their parents ofc, they almost changed their last names too, but decided against it, saying it's their last names now, not their parents', and they can start anew

•when Diantha went to her father's place to take Augustine from him, Pa Sycamore actually put up a fight

-Dia was already so pissed at that point she called out her Tyrantrum and commanded it to use Crunch on him

-yeah, read that right, Dia's Tyrantrum almost killed her dad

-hes alive still, well, kinda dead now present time but not bc of Dia so hey hahaha

•in my aus, Opal is actually related to Diantha and Augustine, probs their aunt on their mother's side? Yeah

-Opal promised Diantha one day that she'd be back for her and they'd live in Galar together

-ofc, that never happened, Opal forgot about Diantha and Augustine, and bc of that Dia grew very bitter towards her

-honestly Leon and Opal are the reasons she doesn't like going to Galar

•when Augustine started his journey, Dia followed behind him to supervise and to make sure he was alright

-she was really impressed at how quickly he managed to beat the Gyms, and when they met again, she asked if he'd want to take on the league, maybe he could actually beat her

-he did try, tho he was defeated by Drasna

-Diantha was still so very happy for him and decided to treat him out for ice cream as a reward

-a few years later, Augustine tried to beat the League again, and almost did get to Diantha, but Siebold ended up beating him

•having so used to just having Diantha as his only family, whenever he's asked about his parents back then, Augustine would just reply "why would I want my parents to be here? My sister is here with me and she's so much better than them."

-w that tho, whenever he thinks of his parents, Diantha is always the person that comes in mind, not his father nor his mother

•Augustine loves teasing Diantha whenever she mentions Lance to him

-during champion meet ups, Augustine would be texting her in the middle of it asking if she was sitting next to Lance or at least talking to him

-she stopped bringing her phone to meetings after that bc the excessive vibrations from it was giving her odd looks from Wallace and Cynthia and she's had enough thank you very much u w u

•Diantha never really told Augustine about her past with their mother, she'd rather spare him from the horrors she had to go through

•the lab coat Augustine has was actually a graduation gift from Diantha

-his lab at Lumiose was a graduation gift too—

•when Augustine found out about the Mega Stones, he gave the very first one he found to Diantha

And yeah that's all for now ig hahaha

Hope you like em hahah

#pokemon #champion diantha #professor sycamore #augustine sycamore #an ask and an answer #anon #pokemon hcs

[skoulsons]

i'm curious what you think of one of the criticisms i've seen from mainly game fans that they think joel and ellie's relationship development is rushed because we don't have enough time with them. i don't agree at all, and i think this started from ep 4 bc some game fans thought it was "too early" for joel to soften up already with her. but i think they forget that a) these are different versions of joel and ellie and 2) we spend 20+ hours of following just them in the game. we can't do that here, even though i would never say no to that. and if you think about it, in the game they hard cut to months/seasons ahead multiple times and most of the time and bonding that they spend together also happens off screen for them. i'm watching this show with my sister who doesn't know the story and hasn't played the game and she is just as fully invested in joel and ellie and hasn't had any complaints about it feeling rushed, so i think it may just be a game audience vs general audience thing.

I don’t think I’ve personally seen people complain about this specifically, but it doesn’t surprise me people have. Game players critique every little thing 😭

I haven’t felt it as being rushed. I think one reason being is that Joel isn’t *as* stoic in the show as he is in game. Like you said, these are different versions of them. Game Joel is still a very broken man, yes, but show is so…vulnerable. significantly more than game Joel. And I think that’s why it might seem rushed. But with show Joel being more vulnerable, that seems to have made it easier for Ellie to get past his walls and for him to open up earlier. Those little moments (seatbelt, their giggles, showing her how to grip her gun better, etc) would NOT have happened in game. Game Joel wouldn’t have done any of those, especially so early on in their journey. It’s just something about his very present vulnerability and brokenness that is so out there in the show canon that changes who he is as a man and his connections, especially to Ellie and how she reminds him of Sarah. I think people are very stuck in them wanting both Joel’s to be the exact same, I was hoping for it too with how much I love game joel, but that’s just not the case. It’s important to understand how they’ve taken his character, and how he still makes sense AS the character of Joel Miller in both canons, and made some changes and expansions to his character

I just hit massive brain fog with this question I’m sorry 😭 but yeah, the people complaining I just don’t think can, or maybe they don’t want, to wrap theirs heads around these changes of characters. It has not felt rushed to me. Regarding the character of Joel and Ellie within the show, their growth in the show makes a lot of sense and has flowed well and fits to the timeline. People are just annoying sometimes 🫶🏻

[stfu-im-thinking-abt-blorbo]

The critical hit portraits are at nearly 300 notes whilw im writing this and I am beyond happy so many people enjoy my silly little idea. The AU is still sitting in my brain and I'm writing headcanons for it.

Idk if I'm going to separate them by character with little character references, or just infodump it all into one page. For now here's some general stuff I've come up with. I'll put it under a readmore after the first five bc there's a lot.

Also if anyone wants to send asks about the AU, I think that'd be pretty neat 😳

Setting is a blend of Ninjago City in the show and the 10 or so minutes I saw of it in the movie before Luh-Loyd happened.

Shadows attack the city regularly, but only at night. In the AU, they're spawned from the Overlord and cannot handle natural sunlight.

I'm limiting Shadows to only be active at night to mimic the Dark Hour in P3 while still being separate, and to give myself plenty of opportunities to use P3-5's social sim aspects like Social Links/Confidants.

I'm only gonna refer to Social Link/Confidants as just Social Links (SLs), but they'll still have the same kind of benefits as Confidants.

There won't be any other world the group goes to in order to fight Shadows. The Velvet Room is technically the only other world present, but only Lloyd and Wu can go in there.

The main group are all teenagers and in school, it wouldn't be a Persona AU if they're weren't lol.

Cole is 18 and in 12th grade. Kai and Jay are 17 and in 11th grade. Nya is 16, but skipped a grade and is in 11th with Kai and Jay. Lloyd is 14 and in 8th grade (middle school). Zane and Pixal (I've decided she will be part of the main group) are a bit of a special case.

Both of them are still robots like in Ninjago. They're Anti-Shadow Supression Weapons created by Borg Industries (they kinda serve the same function as the Kirijo Group in P3.) Zane was a prototype and was due to be scrapped as he had become outdated. He ended up joining the party shortly after its formation instead. Pixal is a much more recent model and will be the very last member of the party.

Since Anti-Shadow weapons are still considered fairly new in the AU, Zane would be roughly between 8-12, but have the mental functions on par with the older members of the group. So he's treated as being the same age as Cole. He does attend school with the group and is in the 12th grade as well. I'm kinda mimicking what was done with both Aigis and Labrys in P3 and P4 respectively.

Pixal was built much more recently, maybe 4 years prior to the AU? Still figuring that out. She's practically a walking computer with an internet connection and all, but she's considered as young as Nya. They even parallel with Pixal being like a younger sister to Zane. (Sorry, I'm not a big PixZane shipper.) Pixal does not attend school at all and has no desire to. For Pixal, I'm kinda treating her based off of what I understand of Sophia in P5S even though I haven't seen much from that game at all yet.

Wu and Garmadon are from the Velvet Room. They both regularly left the Velvet Room to enjoy the human world. Garmadon started a family with Misako and had Lloyd, but later went missing and hasn't returned to the Velvet Room since.

First Spinjitsu Master and Overlord kinda take over the role of Philemon and Nyarlathotep. FSM isn't ever present, he leaves everyone to their own devices. Overlord, on the otherhand, is the main antagonist and is the reason why Garmadon is missing.

Wu is the current caretaker of the Velvet Room, Igor is on vacation or something.

When Wu isn't present in the Velvet Room, Morro watches over it. Morro will also be Lloyd's Attendant. They don't like each other 💔

Cole, Nya and Lloyd won't be getting their normal elements. I'm sticking to P5R's battle system and elements, as well as weaknesses and technicals for enemies. I wont be using anything in P1, the P2 duology, or other parts of MegaTen because most of their systems are insane and have too much going on lol.

For Cole, there is an Earth element, but it hasn't been used since P1 and the P2 duology, and was included in a few other parts of MegaTen. His Persona will mainly have Physical skills, since that still fits him. Maybe a few Almighty skills just to give him a bit more variety too lol. Probably gonna base his skillset off Shinjiro's in P3.

Nya is in a similar spot to Cole, yet somehow worse. Water is also an element in the series, but from my understanding it was ONLY used in the P2 duology and nowhere else is MegaTen. P5 does have Ice, but that's kinda stepping Zane's toes. She'll have a few low level Ice skills, but I think I'm gonna test out a skillset centering around Nuke for her. If that doesn't work out, then I'll have to come up with something else.

The closest I can pin to Lloyd is Force, but again I'm sticking to P5R. Next best is Curse, Bless or Psychokinesis. Lloyd is also the main Wildcard, so it doesn't entirely matter, but for now I'll just be giving his initial Persona Curse skills.

I'm running with my headcanon that there can be multiple naturally chosen Wildcards, but only one can reach the true potential of the ability. So both Lloyd and Kai get the Wildcard ability, as a sort of nod to how Kai was originally going to be the main protagonist in the show before Lloyd was added.

Kai's Wildcard is similar to Akechi in P5. He can only summon two Personas. His own initial one, and one to represent his bond with Nya.

Also Kai does not have Velvet Room privileges.

I think have the Arcana of the party figured out and some of the SLs:

The party itself: The Fool (SL only)

Lloyd = The Fool, Judgement (Kai SL)

Kai = The Chariot

Nya = The Empress

Zane = The Star

Cole = The Emperor

Jay = The Magician

Pixal = The Lovers

Wu = The Moon

Garmadon = The Sun (Lloyd SL only)

Misako = The High Preistess (Lloyd SL), Hierophant (Kai SL)

Morro = The Tower (Lloyd SL only)

Skylor = Death (Kai SL), TBA for Lloyd's SL.

Chen = Hunger/Lust/Strength (Kai SL only)

Ronin = The Hanged Man

Dareth = Jester /hj

#ninjago #ninjago au #im not tagging everyone so ill just the main party #Kai Smith #kai ninjago #Nya Smith #nya ninjago #Lloyd Garmadon #lloyd ninjago #Jay Walker #jay ninjago #Cole Brookstone #cole ninjago #Zane Julien #zane ninjago #Pixal #Pixal Borg #pixal ninjago #my ninjago headcanons #my aus #Ninjago/Persona AU #<- probably a temp. tag

[persephoneggsy]

Another AU I think about a lot but haven’t talked about before is my Warden Fergus Cousland AU

Basically he manages to make it to Denerim before the Landsmeet and reunites with his baby sister, and Riordan convinced him to become a Grey Warden bc they need all the help they can get (even though Fiora, Fergus’s sister, doesn’t want him to go through the Joining for several obvious reasons).

And because he’s the newest Warden, Morrigan goes to him about doing the dark ritual. He isn’t sure he trusts this ritual, but Morrigan says it’s a way to save his sister’s life… so he agrees. It probably helps that A) he doesn’t know much about Morrigan but he knows that Fiora considers her a dear friend, and B), homeboy is pretty desperate to save the last bit of family he has left so he’ll do whatever it takes.

He’s not sure about having a child again, so soon after Oren and Oriana. Morrigan says he won’t have to worry about it, but that almost makes him feel worse. He feels like he failed as a father once already, and now he’s not even going to be present in this one’s life?

Anyway, the ritual works, his sister slays the Archdemon, is confused as to why she didn’t die (though she and Alistair are, of course, happy about that), and maybe Fergus will tell them one day. For now, he has to contend with being a Warden and the rightful Teryn of Highever, two things that weren’t meant to coincide. More pressingly, he thinks of Morrigan often, wondering if she had the baby, if she’s truly alright.

When Fiora sends him news that Morrigan’s been spotted, he almost surprises himself with how quickly he volunteers to go find her. After all, Fiora is busy ruling a nation now.

He finds Morrigan, who tells him she’s had the child and that he’s safe, and then Fergus makes a decision: he wants to go with her and meet his child. Morrigan hesitates, but ultimately agrees. Fergus leaves behind some kind of message for Fiora so she knows he’s okay, then he goes through the eluvian with Morrigan.

They’re not quite… together, but as they coparent Kieran, they start to bond. Eventually, they fall in love.

#I know I like to joke I always pick unpopular ships #but straight up I think I’m the only person who ships Fergus x Morrigan #it started as a jokey ‘Morrigan becomes the warden’s sister in law’ and then whoops #which means Morrigan and Alistair are in laws and that’s hilarious #anyway eventually they return to civilization when Fergus reclaims Highever with his secret wife and son which causes a bit of a stir #or Fergus joins Fiora in searching for a cure to the Calling so he can have more time with his family #and Morrigan goes to the Inquisition with Kieran as per usual #fergus cousland #Morrigan

[torchickentacos]

SV SPOILER WHERE I TALK ABOUT PLOT BUT IM ON MOBILE AND CANT DO A READ MORE. S C R O L L P A S T IF YOU DONT WANT A MAJOR SPOILER. EDIT THERE ARE MANY SPOILERS HERE. MANY. I’m SERIOUS. SCROLL PAST IF YOU DON’T WANT THAT. also I’m not done with the game yet so no postgame stuff spoiled please. I avoided most spoilers for this long lol. I don’t want to ruin it RIGHT before I play it.

——-

OK first off TURNS OUT I figured out the entire starfall plot around the second/third fight. I mean I still need to go battle penny so details may be off but I got the gist of it. My sister and I joke I have a sixth sense for video game plot points (see: I clocked Volo immediately. No reason, just by vibes. I said he was too nice and beni was too mean. She made fun of me for distrusting them for opposite reasons BUT I WAS RIGHT) but I told her the first time I did a star raid: “ok so I think penny is Cassiopeia because we see her immediately as a supply rep and like. She FEELS underused as a main character she was marketed as and so I feel like she’s cassiopeia.” Shortening to cass because Cassiopeia is long. AND THEN penny said something about hacking, and cass hacked our phones, so that solidified that for me. So raid 1, I knew cassiopeia. It was raid 2-ish I wondered if penny was the big boss because she knew the squads so well as Cassiopeia. So, I thought. If she’s the boss AND Cass why would she want them taken down. I kind of knew team star was like. Outcasts, dialogue hinted at it and later it was confirmed they were bullied, raid 3 ish? So we knew this at raid 2/3: bullied outcasts, but they’re seen as bad ones and don’t go to school anymore. But penny goes to school. Presumably without her friends. And she sees how they are seen as bad. So if she disbands team star, they can come back to school with her. Right? So, as the boss, she wants it disbanded and made Cassiopeia to do that. Safe to say, my sister would have thought I looked up spoilers if this wasn’t a thing I do consistently in games. By raid 4/5 it’s more obvious but I AM proud of clocking it by raid 3. And that’s how I Shawn-Spencer’ed my way into spoiling the entire starfall street plot for myself way earlier than I maybe should have?????? Or maybe everyone figured it out and I’m proud over nothing idk. Other guesses for plot stuff: I know some of the Sada stuff on accident (it’s like the only spoiler I saw bc it was unavoidable) NOT ALL OF IT THOUGH AND I HAVE NOT GOTTEN TO THAT PART YET. JUST BATTLED ARVEN but GOSH her face moves… Not humanly. Guess 2: area 0 is a portal to the past or present depending on your game version. Or both. Something’s up with the east paldean sea too because it won’t let me in. That isn’t even a guess, I just know it’s some area 0 shit. Next game guess: I know sada is like. AI???? A robot??? Or something? But idk how, missed that. My guess is, something either to do with koraidon’s battle form getting lost and weakened, somehow linked, or like. She sequestered herself into area 0 to study but either rogue tech from her research took over her body (like the metal stuff from the book kalahari. Has anyone else read that.) or she willingly made herself a robot to keep doing her research since she loves it above all else, surrendering not only her family but her body and mortality to her work. Idk though, will find out in probably 2/3 days at this rate???? This is a long game lol. ANYWAYS thanks anyone who hung out until the end

#sv spoilers #taylor's tag #pokemon #sv

[ghostbustermelanieking]

I’ve been wanting to get into reading more ghost stories, so send me all your recs please!!

ok ok!! i fucking love ghost stories

(sorry i didn't italicize titles, i'm probably gonna add it in later -- tumblr mobile is just really shitty about that for some reason)

so if you're into kids books at all, the all time ghost story master is mary downing hahn. she's got several middle grade ghost stories (and some witch stuff too), and they're all excellent. legitimately scared me as a kid and hold their own now. there's one with a haunted lake, one about pranks turning into real hauntings, one set in victorian london, one set during the Spanish flu pandemic, lots of spooky dolls, several involving some lite time travel... highly recommend, and not just bc of nostalgia. other middle grade ghost story favorites: the dollhouse murders (a betty ren wright classic) and the ghost of fossil glen

if we're talking young adult, katie alender is a particular standout. she has several good ones, but my personal favorite is bad girls don't die, a story about sisters and ghost stories and spooky dolls.

if we're talking adult books...

stephen king is kind of a horror cliche but i legitimately love some of his stuff... his ghost stories are the shining, and pet sematary (what, shut up, it totally counts), and these are both special favorites of mine. frequent rereads (especially now that i have better copies!).

thirteen storeys by jonathan sims (writer/narrator on the magnus archives!) is a tremendous ghost story -- or more like thirteen ghost storeys fit into one (lol). i haven't actually read his newest, family business, but i actually just downloaded the audio book and plan to listen on my impending 7 hour drive friday. fairly sure it's a ghost story and i'm sure it's excellent

the deep by alma katsu is one i remember enjoying a lot. it's a ghostly spin on the titanic and brittanic and features real historical figures as well as fictional characters. (it's not a ghost story, but i loved her other novel the hunger, which is a horror take on the donner party, so maybe check that out if you enjoy the deep! she's got another historical horror novel out that i need to read.)

shamefully, i haven't finished this one -- but heart shaped box by joe hill is also a very good ghost story. i don't actually know why i didn't finish it. it's legitimately spooky and awesome. the premise is an aging rock star who collects spooky shit buys a haunted suit.

one of my favorite ghost story novels is the drowning kind by jennifer mcmahon. it's about a haunted swimming pool, and is set in the 1920s and present day. super spooky and a poignant family story. i also enjoyed the invited by mcmahon, a story about the construction of a haunted house. mcmahon has several other ghost stories that i haven't read yet, but plan to soon!

not exactly ghost stories -- although one, cackle, does contain ghosts -- but i have been love love loving the work of rachel harrison lately. like reread her books about five times since october crazy. she has three books: the return, probably closest structurally to a ghost story, but it isn't exactly one -- about a friend group who reunites after one comes back after two years of being missing; cackle is a story about a woman who moves to a new town after a break up and befriends a witch; such sharp teeth is about a woman being turned into a werewolf while staying in her hometown with her pregnant twin sister. all are tremendous both as spooky reads and as moving character driven stories about female relationships. also, rachel harrison has some short stories out there: an anthology of four spooky short stories called bad dolls (one of the four is definitely a ghost story); an audible original short story that's also a ghost story called the veil (in the process of listening [edit: i actually finished listening while making this post and can confirm it is excellent); and a short story here.

old country by query and query is one that i bought and read recently... it's actually based off of a no sleep story on reddit. its about a couple who move to the country in idaho and learn from their neighbors that there is a spirit who will haunt the land differently each season. i found it to be unique and fun, and legitimately unsettling. (mixed feelings on the ending but otherwise a fun ghostie read.)

a head full of ghosts by paul tremblay is sort of a ghost story and sort of a demon story? a young woman recounts the supposed demonic possession of her older sister that occurred when she was a child. there was a reality TV series made about the possession and exorcism; years later, the main character is grappling with that legacy.

if you're looking for more vintage ghost stories, i remember legitimately enjoying the haunting of hill house, despite finding it a little hard to read. (thats just me, i have a hard time with older-sounding texts. i would like to reread it soon.) it's nothing like the 2018 TV show (although that show draws heavily from it in certain ways), but it's an excellent novel in its own right, and a big inspiration to the horror genre.

the only good indians by stephen graham jones is sort of a ghost/folklore/slasher story, but it is excellent all the same. it reads like a movie, which i love. i remember loving it when i read it. four native american men are forced to reckon with a hunting accident from their youth when a supernatural force comes back for revenge. very spooky, but also a slasher in its own right, if that is at all your thing.

for a festive ghost story: a christmas carol is great on so SO many levels (listen to the podcast jacob marley is dead!!) but also excellent as a ghost story, and there is an excellent audio book version on spotify that i love

the broken girls by simone james is a ghost story i remember enjoying. it's got a haunted boarding school and operates on two different timeliness. simone st. james has some other ghostie stories i haven't read but that i intend to.

beloved by toni morrison is a book that i've only read once, and that i need to read again, but that i remember really liking. it's an excellent read. sethe, a former slave struggles to escape her past, particularly the death of her beloved young daughter many years before. her life is upended by the arrival of a mysterious young girl called beloved.

when the reckoning comes by latanya mcqueen is one i really enjoyed. a woman travels to her white friend's wedding at a former plantation, where she is one of only two Black guests, and the ghosts of the slaves who lived and died there linger.

nothing but blackened teeth by cassandra khaw is a novella that i thought was really fun. a group of friends attend a small wedding at a haunted house in japan. the house is said to be the site of a bride who was sacrificed and buried under the house.

hex is an honest to god unique ghost story. a town is haunted, and essentially held captive, by the ghost of an executed witch. eventually yknow. horrible hijinks ensue.

some popular books will make you think they're ghost stories but there really was never a ghost all along!?!! this annoys me DEEPLY.

honestly check back in a couple months and i'll probably have more. i have a whole stack of ghost story books in my reading queue ❤️

#grace talks about books #books

[joelles]

     *  hi  friends  ,  my  name  is  presley  ,  from  est  &  she  /  her  pronouns ,  if  you  don’t  mind  !  here’s  the  run  down  .  freak  .  virgo  on  the  verge  of  a  libra  .  college  graduate  w/  no  clue  where  she  heading  .  emergency  blunt  advocate  .  chapstick  collector  .  can  recite  confessions  of  a  teenage  drama  queen  .  needless  to  say  ,  adores  lohan’s  work  .  crystal  bible  on  legs  .  bi  af  .  so  ,  here  i  am  presenting  joelle  birsen  to  the  mix  ,  amongst  your  sexy  muses  that  i  can  tell  i  hit  the  lottery  when  applying  for  this  masterpiece  🤠   !  joelle  is  a  relatively  older  muse  i’ve  come  back  to  ,  as  she  has  parts  of  muses  i’ve  played  back  during  the  simpler  times  on  this  hellsite  in  which  i  was  drawn  back  to  ,  it  seems  .  i’ll  briefly  cover  her  below  if  that’s  cool  with  you  ,  i  do  advise  that  if  you  have  troubles  in  regards  to  hospital  stays  +  surgical  info  ,  alcohol  +  drug  use  .  .  .  you  may  want  to  prepared  . of  course  ,  i  don’t  go  fully  in depth  graphic  wise  ,  but  if  you  have  any  comments  or  concerns  ,  lmk  !

    *  to  be  directed  to  more  statistics  ,  refer  to  this  page  but  keep  in  mind  ,  it’s  under  co  like  all  the  time  !  mwah

name  :  joelle  malia  birsen nickname(s)  :  jo  , jojo  (  jojo’s  circus  bc  she’s  a  whole  clown  !  ) birthdate  :  nov.  28  1998 birth chart  :  sagittarius sun , capricorn moon, libra ascending gender  :  cis  gendered  woman sexuality  :  pansexual

    *  some  history  ,  slay  !

  conceived  for  the  result  being  that  her  body  would  only  be  a  carcass  to  surgical  scalpels  +  painful  procedures  to  her  very  sick  ,  c-word  ridden  brother  ,  emerson  ,  as  her  older  sister  ,  monica  ,  wasn’t  a  match  for  what  mapped  out  .  they  had  her  through  very  rare  circumstances  ,  joelle  birsen  wasn’t  named  joelle  until  an  amount  of  months  due  to  the  higher  risks  of  her  falling  short  of  a  first  year  ,  due  to  her  meaning  +  the  prematurity  in  which  she  was  born  under  .  the  university’s  hospital  became  her  home  ,  in  the  heart  of  london  .  .  .  her  family’s  home  being  in  chelsea  ,  a  middle  class  suburb  section  of  the  united  kingdom  .  as  the  third  born  ,  she  was  held  on  a  pedestal  by  her  siblings  from  a  young  age  ,  more  for  the  reasons  of  the  costs  of  being  her  brother’s  keeper  ,  in  which  she  only  found  out  in  her  late  years  when  coming  across  pictures  sent  to  her  grandmother  .  because  of  the  silence  her  parents  vowed  to  keep  from  their  heaven  sent  ,  they  claimed  her  first  two  years  of  life  they  were  unable  to  even  come  close  to  reaching  the  feelings  ,  the  so  -  called  love  they  had  for  her  from  behind  a  lens  .  they  loved  her  ,  for  reasons  they  were  hesitant  to  reveal  +  made  sure  it  was  reticent  until  the  time  collected  on  them  ,  like  a  meter  .

  her  brother  lived  ,  emerson  achieved  highest  honors  in  football  ,  even  making  it  professionally  at  the  cost  of  joelle  walking  in  on  him  cradling  various  ,  pain  relievers  addressed  to  differing  patients  across  england  following  an  incident  that  nearly  ended  his  high  school  career .  she  takes  that  to  her  grave  ,  even  beyond  .  her  sister  ,  monica  ,  followed  in  her  mother’s  footsteps  of  working  in  her  corner  ,  seamstress  business  .  her  mother  ,  julia  ,  she  wasn’t  always  the  mousey  mother  of  three  that  she  now  found  herself  to  be  ,  she  met  roger  ,  her  father  ,  when  he  was  moving  speakers  for  the  smiths  in  their  early  beginnings  +  she  was  crushing  on  the  lead  singer  .  he  claimed  to  be  in  the  band  ,  which  is  how  you  land  the  pretty  girl  ,  but  is  that  how  you  keep  her  ?  maybe  with  backstage  meet  +  greets  and  a  sentiment  of  a  grin

  you’re  probably  wondering  why  joelle  wasn’t  mentioned  in  the  excerpt  prior  ,  well  ,  joelle  was  often  forgotten  as  the  smallest  ,  turn  her  sideways  +  she  would  pass  as  a  book  spine  in  the  library  she  spent  most  of  her  time  in  .  a  day  room  off  their  living  room  ,  where  the  sunshine  would  ribbon  warmth  into  her  primary  uniform  ,  through  the  pleats  of  a  skirt  with  traces  of  julia  sewn  into  them  since  they  were  her  sister’s  hand  me  downs  !  she  stuck  her  nose  into  every  book  she  managed  to  find  ,  she  hadn’t  a  clue  where  she  found  such  adoration  as  her  father  only  read  the  newspaper  ,  only  to  use  it  as  a  fly  swatter  +  when  her  siblings  misbehaved  ,  only  on  occasion  .  her  mother  worked  late  nights  to  make  ends  meet  ,  as  her  father  was  in  between  jobs  ,  so  reading  wasn’t  on  the  agenda  .  she  also  developed  a  fascination  for  art  in  the  form  of  drawing  ,  the  back  of  her  exams  absolutely  covered  in  work  that  left  her  regular  professors  displeased  and  her  art  aimed  one  ,  excited  !  she  surrounded   herself  in  the  likes  of  reading  +  drawing  to  say  the  least  ,  a  whole  stack  of  album’s  worth  back  in  chelsea  .  at  the  age  of  twelve  ,  however  ,  she  was  another  mouth  to  feed  +  julia  +  roger  wanted  more  for  joelle

  santa  monica  ,  ca  ,  the  birthplace  of  her  mother  with  whom  she  only  realized  once  she  moved  into  her  caretaker’s  trailer  .  makes  sense  she  would  name  her  first  born  over  a  town  she  left  behind  ,  the  hidden  adoration  at  the  expense  of  liz’s,  her  grandmother’s  that  refused  to  be  called  a  grandmother,  huge  mouth  .  she  was  a  lesbian  author  who  skimmed  over  taxes  like  they  were  optional  +  lived  off  lands  for  which  she  became  inspired  in  her  trailer  ,  followed  dead  ends  worth  of  love  +  wore  a  leather  jacket  that  has  seen  many  wars  .  she  only  roused  in  the  novel  scene  to  acquire  money  for  travel  +  now  ,  it  looked  like  a  granddaughter  who  she  referred  to  as  her  roommate  .  affectionately  ,  of  course  .  joelle  was  homeschooled  ,  taught  the  basics  of  liz’s  beliefs  ,  literature  in  some  areas  ,  mathematics  on  the  pretense  on  the  cost  of  buying  an  engagement  ring  or  how  to  turn  ten  dollars  into  three  meals  ,  science  for  the  plants  to  eat  +  the  one’s  to  stray  from  +  recognizing  a  tornado  cloud  from  a  whateverit’scalled  .

  the  multiple  lovers  part  ,  well  ,  liz  fell  more  in  love  than  she  did  out  .  often  chasing  down  highways  +  deserts  to  acquire  something  to  feel  whole  .  joelle  related  to  that  ,  having  many  duos  of  organs  +  even  organs  themselves  portioned  ,  her  body  wasn’t  even  whole  .  traditionally  ,  approaching  your  teenage  years  seemed  off putting  ,  but  liz  had  a  way  of  spinning  events  to  be  more  outstanding  to  your  emotions  .  in  every  state  ,  joelle  collected  a  charm  from  locations  such  as  pawn  +  thrift  shops  ,  sometimes  even  lovers  corridors  +  that  was  kept  to  mum  .  she  wasn’t  allowed  much  as  liz’s  trailer  was  shared  between  two  +  she  gave  up  her  own  bed  for  her  granddaughter  ,  joelle  didn’t  want  to  take  up  more  than  was  given  .  that’s  her  personality  pretty  much  ,  closing  your  eyes  +  holding  back  desirables  .  she  even  learned  stick  at  the  age  of  fifteen  at  a  bar  stop  just  outside  of  houston  in  a  stranger’s  eighties  muscle  car  .  liz  +  joelle  ,  they  were  just  that  .  the  unexpectedness  in  life  ,  treasuring  what  was  around  you  versus  what  you  hoped  to  claim  .

  remember  the  whole  reading  +  drawing  fascination  ?  well  ,  that  came  into  use  when  she  pretended  to  be  an  illustrator  for  liz’s  works  +  even  got  published  by  the  time  she  celebrated  fourteen  .  copies  ,  along  with  some  earned  cash  ,  were  sent  to  her  family  back  in  chelsea  ,  london  ,  uk  ,  but  with  their  constant  movement  across  the  country  in  the  trailer  ,  connection  was  frail  .  oh  ,  joelle  also  didn’t  have  a  phone  that  wasn’t  attached  to  a  machine  on  the  side  of  an  abandoned  road  or  leant  from  a  stranger  until  she  was  eighteen  .  she  had  her  first  kiss  by  a  boy  who  was  neighbors  with  liz’s  latest  love  interest  ,  over  the  fence  +  all  .  she  hardly  touches  alcohol  ,  never  has  ,  aside  from  the  sting  of  whiskey  when  she  had  injuries  +  that  was  produced  from  liz’s  emergency  kit  .  same  with  cigarettes  ,  after  she  accidentally  nibbled  on  a  crumbled  nub  unknowingly  in  liz’s  ashtray  that  she  kept  close  to  her  caramel  dish  .  at  the  age  of  eighteen  ,  she  taught  herself  the  bass  guitar  when  she  came  across  a  chocolate  colored  one  in  a  pawn  shop  +  liz’s  only  requirement  was  if  they  were  going  to  live  off  grass  +  peanuts  the  rest  of  the week  if  she  purchased  it  ,  she  might  as  well  be  the  finest  bassist  the  world  has  ever  seen 

  now  ,  she  is  in  a  band  with  three  other  girls  ,  through  which  she  met  while  they  were  touring  +  their  bassist  decided  to  run  solo  .  she  wasn’t  the  songwriting  type  ,  leaned  more  on  her  illustrations  +  the  rhythm  produced  in  songs  from  the  likes  of  eighties  london  bands  mixed  in  with  liz’s  eighties  american  bands  .  however  ,  she  can  play  like  no  other  +  it  showed  for  when  she  stepped  up  that  night  ,  the  rest  is  history  !  she  also  publishes  drawings  of  tattoos  on  a  platform  for  which  she  has  gained  a  huge  following  ,  inspired  by  the  ones  on  liz’s  skin  .  she  has  a  few  of  her  own  by  this  point  ,  however  ,  they  are  in  concealed  areas  .  the  only  reason  she  hasn’t  become  an  official  tattoo  artist  is  because  of  her  fear  of  bringing  pain  to  someone  ,  so  she  collaborates  with  famous  ones  +  sells  her  works  .  she  has  come  out  to  hilton  following  the  success  of  pink  slip’s  first  album  ,  she  has  been  here  prior  in  passing  by  liz’s  wishes  ,  so  connections  are  endless  !

#hilton.intro #◦ ❋ ◞ 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐧 ‚ 𝑗𝑜𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑒 ⤻ ooc . #period .

[queen-scribbles]

Alliance Commander Ask

tagged by @callavia​(thank you!), just gonna open tag if anyone wants to do it :)

1) Who’s your Alliance Commander? What class are they? Alignment? Random other facts you wanna share?

Tiiiiime for canon #2, aka my beautiful avocado girl Vica Nerai. Fully LS Consular Shadow(added Sage when she got a second class). Loves Theron, Crete the Manka cat, and hot chocolate.

2) What’s a reason or two you like that this character is your Commander?

She has the patience of a saint and is nearly impossible to rile, makes her an extremely good diplomat and calming presence for an Alliance full of former enemies. 

3) What’s a reason or two you don’t like about them being Commander?

She feels obligated to solve all the galaxy’s problems (even without being asked) and has trouble taking a break and letting other people Save the Day™ so she doesn’t burn out.

4) Why did this character of all your OCs become Commander?

Equal parts bc she romanced Theron so I had to take her through SoR etc and bc I think she makes a damn good Commander.

5) Who did they side with? Did they stay loyal or go saboteur? Or maybe you headcanon they defect properly?

Republic all the way, baby. 😎 She did keep the Alliance independent; she’s too happy with/proud of what she’s built, and she doesn’t like how (relatively) easy it was for the Republic to fall under the sway of a de facto dictator(Saresh). Just bc Rans seems friendly and down to earth and all that doesn’t mean that danger is gone.

6) Are there any NPC’s from the class stories you’d like to see/HC join the Alliance? Ex: Master Timmns, Ardun Kothe, Watcher One, etc.

Aside from the ones I mentioned for Tel, Attros Finn, Chance, Crysta’s daughter(CANNOT remember her name to save my life rn), Beryl Thorne, Agent Galen, a couple of the Masters from Consular Act 1(maybe Tykan and Sidonie?), Master O’a.

7) How’s your OC feeling about the current Malgus situation?

She’s genuinely hoping it’s done, he’s beaten and not going to be a problem anymore. But they thought that after he was defeated(and supposedly killed) over Ilum*, and she’s all too familiar with the penchant powerful Sith have for coming back. There’s a small part of her, a part of her that’s very tired but still too Jedi to kill a “defenseless” prisoner that hopes if he tries anything again in the future he fights to the death. 

*she did not handle the Ilum arc, so she heard Malgus was dead but wasn’t present to see it

8) Are any of your other OC’s part of the Alliance? If yes, what do they do for the Alliance? Do they get along with your Commander?

Yep. Her canon also has Briyoni(Trooper, the one to handle Ilum), who is her younger sister, for sure and tentatively: Eliyis(Inquisitor), Khii Mera(Smuggler), Deira,(also smuggler) and Qhora(Knight)  

9) How does your OC feel about Odessen? 

She loves it. With the strength of her connection to the Force, she’s very in tune with the balanced state of the planet and it gives her a sense of peace aside from that one valley that was the stuff of nightmares. She also thinks it’s a beautiful place, very scenic, and enjoys being tucked away from the rest of the galaxy.

10) How does your Commander feel about being the Commander?

It’s exhausting but she thrives on being able to help, to do things to make the galaxy better, so she loves it. Even if she is constantly tired and it has brought almost as much strife as joy. She’s a workaholic who doesn’t realize she’s a workaholic half the time bc she’s wrapped in the guise of people need me. 

11) Favorite place in the Alliance base?

Her quarters, snuggled up on the couch with a hot drink, her Spy Husband, and a datapad she’ll more than likely fall asleep reading.

12) Favorite mission in KotFE?

I’m always going to love Disavowed more than anything, but Vica, as would be expected, loves ch 9 bc not only does she get reunited with Theron and officially start a relationship with him, it’s more heavily centered on the talking/personality/diplomacy things that are right up her wheelhouse. She can fight, she’s a badass(Kinetic Combat FTW), but she is a diplomat at heart, so stuff like interpersonal relationships is where she’s happiest.

13) Favorite mission in KotET?

Ch 4/5 bc it’s exploring a whole new world(even if that world is trying to kill her and all her friends, it’s still fascinating), with technology and such that they’ve never seen before.

14) Least favorite mission in either? Why?

Toss up between ch 12 and 15 in KotFE for her and ch 7 in KotET. She really hates Valkorion’s little “You’re not listening to me :(” getaway, but that Eternal Fleet ship was just awful (aside from getting to see Tai again, that’s was pretty neat). And again, with how strong she’s tied to the Force, Nathema was oppressive for her. It felt like a combination of being on the verge of throwing up and that dullness to your senses of recovering from a flashbang.

15) Is your Commander successful because they’re skilled? Or are they perhaps just really lucky?

In her case, honestly, I say as a biased parent talking about a favorite child, I’m pretty sure it’s all skill.

16) From our OC’s point of view, SoR -> KotET wasn’t a fun experience, did they develop any fears as a result?

People thinking she doesn’t have the galaxy’s best interests at heart. She spends years bending over backwards to help everyone she can however she can, so the whole thing in the Fractured Alliances arc with there being people who actually think she doesn’t care is awful and makes her worry there are others who feel the same way, that can’t have been all of them on Nathema.

17) AU time! If your Commander wasn’t Commander, which of your other OCs would have likely taken their place?

Assuming all the tentative characters stay in her canon, probably Qhora. Maybe Eliyis. I have some headcanon things for Bry where I need her to not be the Outlander for them to work.

18) Who’s someone your Commander hopes they never have to deal with again?

Aside from Valkorion? Kaliyo, Novo, Terrak Morhage, SCORPIO, Saresh, Atrius (the joys of being 100% LS; she didn’t kill anyone she was given the option to, no matter how awful they are, so she has a longer list of “never wanna deal with them again” than some)

19) Does your Commander hold on to/still use any titles they earned before KotET?

Oh, she still holds onto Barsen’thor. That one’s very tied to her identity as a Jedi and a defender of the good in the galaxy. She views it differently now; as an achievement and honor rather than a duty, but it’s still important.

20) Share something, anything at all, you want about your Commander that you’ve not really gotten the chance to share before but really want to.

She out of all my Theronmancers panicked the most at the end of Nathema Conspiracy bc she’s the only one with Z E R O healing abilities. Jaaide’s an Operative, Sha’reii’s a Sorc, Khii’s a Scoundrel. Vica’s a Shadow, she’s a tank, a defender, not a healer. (Or, well, wasn’t. Why do you think she wanted Sage for her second combat style?) So she, who has buried her identity and worth in her ability to help, was helpless in the face of losing the man she loved, and it was not fun.

She plays the vioflute and would say she’s a tad rusty right now, but she’s still good.

#tagged #vica nerai

[dopaminergicaddictions]

Once my birthday is over I'm killing myself. For a lot of the reasons.

1) I'm never going to stop hallucinating...

2) I'm never going to find a girlfriend..

3) i was delusional about Elise...

Why won't I find a girlfriend?

1) I'm trans

2) I'm on disability

3) I have ocd that makes things difficult household wise.

4) once I tell them I hear voices/ have auditory hallucinations no one will date me... I mean unless it's another voice hearer such as myself.... they are the only people who understand that the content varies and its not like, "kill them, Skin them, kill yourself, cut your mothers head off..." thats what people think when you tell them you hear voices.

You immediately go to less of a person. Not a real option. A danger to society and people look at you and treat you differently. They don't feel bad for you. They are scared of you. They look at you like the voice chants, kill everyone you know. Voice hearers and mental health professionals are the only people who understand that the voice could legit say "bounce on a bouncy ball," all day.... sometimes it can be amusing... generally my voice is just repetitive...

I hear, "happy birthday," "I have a birthday present for deadname blanchette," "successful right now," or "successful deadname," "successful Nathan," " this is special," "this is a special place for a reason," "don't Kill yourself," "you love yourself too much to kill yourself," "Elisha Blanchette," and my own thoughts repeating as an auditory hallucination. Rarely does it say anything else. It may say, "I only told you to hug your mother bc I'm psychosis not schizophrenia".... or, "internal peace/silence is coming" but to everyone else on earth I might as well be hearing, "kill them. Catch them, capture them. Skin them. Dismember them."

That's the problem with society and people not understanding mental health issues and especially auditory hallucinations... my voice was never fucking violent. It's mean to me but only so mean it won't say, "I want you to kill yourself." It won't bring up trauma. Although psychosis used to make me see mental pictures of my dogs dying in front of me.... like the very beginning.....but it wasn't the work of the voice... just to state that... it was actually just that all my mental pictures were trauma or sexual in October-December...

But to girls I might as well be a drooling psychopath.... My sister was like maybe you should focus on finding friends cause of your current situation... most people won't be willing to date you. That's why I'm going to kill myself. She thought she was being helpful... how is it helpful to bring up another flaw I have, that I know is on most people's lists of deal-breakers...

And now my dating pool has turned into queer voice hearers. Or queer mental health professionals..... I low key think my current therapist who is a voice hearer with either schizoaffective or schizophrenia wants to end client/therapist and be friends. Her friend request on fb remains. It was submitted 6 week ago when I messaged her to be her client but left her on read for like 4 weeks... she's pretty but yea who knows maybe she just wants to connect socially. She recently asked me when I talked about elise, "do you think you should have any female therapists right now?" I took offense to it cause like I have no feelings for any of my therapists... Erin is older and not my type and tbh she's been texting a lot recently during my sessions and I want to stop seeing her. Yes she's somewhat pretty but I feel nothing for her romantically...

Danielle is pretty but I mean I see her as a therapist. Kristen was gorgeous... and I kinda wanted to be her friend but I wanted her as a therapist more. I didn't want to date her but the elephant was smashing us against the wall making shit awkward. And now I hate her cause she didn't catch it before it turned into this....

Maybe Danielle wants to know me socially.... but Elise is the only therapist I've had feelings for. I don't view her as a therapist. But in terms of Danielle's question... there is only one person and it's bc of the close personal relationship we shared which boundaries were crossed... the boundaries being crossed isn't why I have feelings for Elise... but it is the reason I'm still fixated on her... I mean sorta. If everything ended the way it was suppose to I would still think about her but I wouldn't be writing on tumblr. I would probably be with Katie again becuase i would have shown up for the bunny picture she posted on fb in July and she would have taken me back bc her dog tries to eat them and it traumatizes her. I only didnt show up because I have feelings for Elise and I knew me and Katie would be together if I did. And be hopeful one day Elise would show up and we could be friends.

Either queer voice hearers have now become my only dating option other than mental health professionals. Or people who have a brother or sister and get it's not, "kill them," people including my Dr's write me off and talk to me like I've lost my personhood.

So yea. I'm pretty done with my shitty life. I doubt elise is going to show up for me. I mean when I think about those eyes I think she will, but then I look at actions. Blocked nearly everywhere. And she didn't respond to me professionally.... so I guess I'm meaningless shit to her. But who knows. All I know ow is actions speak louder than words. I remember her previous actions and they speak very loudly... but as for right now her actions say you're a drooling psychopath and I may be keeping you unblocked bc I'm worried you'll use it against me. WHICH I NEVER WOULD. Cause I love her.

Either way Danielle's questions was offensive cause I never talked positively about Kristen. She might as well be the devil to me. Also I never talked about Erin other than thats she's my therapist. Maybe it's bc she finds me attractive and wants to know me socially and we are only 3 weeks in... the only therapist I've talked about romantically or even in terms of attraction is Elise..... and it's very clear I don't see as a therapist... it'd very clear i see her person to person... that's the thing. Nonetheless it was offensive. Bc of all these facts

Factually- i have never had feelings for a therapist.... never. Not one of them. Attraction is a little different... but Attraction is meaningless to me. I'm about love. I think Megan fox is pretty but I don't want to have sex with her. I especially don't want to be with her...

I have to love you to want to be with you. Elise i saw as a peer... not day one but by the year mark we were person to person. Not therapist to client.

The sad thing is- Before I met Elise, therapists were just asshole who sat on their ass and made money off your problems and couldn't give a shit about your life or your feelings and you were just money in their wallet...

Then i met Elise and- that fucking changed. I started to see therapists as person to person. I started to see they do care about you personally and you're not just money.

I fell in love with her but that besides the point before that happened-shes the reason I feel that therapists do care about their clients. That they see me and anyone else they see as a person.

Although I do think generally the therapist sees the client as a person but on a lower level.. not that they are better than them but that they have a professional duty to them.. and that makes ot less person to person.

When I talk to any therapist now thanks to Elise-I see it person to person.

However-me and elise were different. Part of doesn't want to force her hand and make her meet with me Profesional despite the fact that it will help but--->

The reality is we really were person to person. Different than anyone else. The dynamic changed and we changed. There was something there. And it's only her. But anyways I'm crazy and she doesn't read this but writing helps. Tbh I'm prob going to stop writing here soon. I've been hopeful she might read it but If she sees me as dangerous or crazy. Maybe i should commit my writing to paper and pen and keep it from the world.