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#Maria Jeritza
mayolfederico · 3 months
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Alejo Carpentier ~ La città-opera
Gustav Klimt, Music, 1895   Ogni opera ora promoveva ovazioni, mormorii, zittii, esclamazioni, i cui motivi erano del tutto estranei alla qualità della musica o alla riuscita di un’interpretazione.       […] E così, soddisfacendo una vecchia aspirazione, finalmente realizzabile, il Primo Magistrato pensò alla possibilità di metter su una stagione d’opera dentro la città-opera, capitale della…
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seagull-astrology · 11 months
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J504, The golden throated Maria Jeritza
Paul Clancy, a good friend to Marc Edmund Jones, published in his Today’s Astrology Maria Jeritza’s chart.  Marc took it and put it in his 1000 in toto.  Scouting around, I read the New York Times obit, which cast no light on her.  Finally on  FindAGrave.com, I read a beautiful obit by an admirer and could see the original flaws and rectified her chart accordingly. Continue reading Untitled
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Hello I love your three houses takes and I would LOVE to hear about Jeritza written as transfem?? I have not looked at his writing in a While but the idea is so good, please tell me all about it
So I made a very roughshod post about this a few months ago, but I recently wrote an essay to just discuss this topic for some friends, and I figured I'd preview it here.
For starters, I’d just like to establish that a lot of these things I bring up generally aren’t going to exclusively point to the character as transfem; any one of them probably has a number of explanations you could come up with. However, I hope you can see that there are a lot of coincidences here and appreciate that my reading isn’t baseless.
Additionally, I want to clarify that I don’t see a transgender reading of Jeritza as contrasting aspects of the character such as their DID or their rejection of their childhood when they should be more accepting of it, but rather as acting in concert with it. DID is frequently, for lack of a better term, comorbid with gender dysphoria, and that sense of dissociation from one’s childhood followed by a gradual acceptance of who you once were is also an experience I’ve seen among many of my transgender friends.
That said, let’s get down to some examples, starting with Jeritza’s relationship to men. It is clear that Jeritza does not like men. The only man that Jeritza can support, between two games, is the male avatar, who has the ability to support everyone. This is a particularly obvious gap when one notes that they have no support with Hubert, who was a co-conspirator and fellow confidant to Edelgard, surely a relationship that would be ripe for drama. With women, however, Jeritza is constantly patient with them, entertaining Constance’s eccentricities, explaining themselves to Bernadetta, and letting Manuela try to teach them. I find their Manuela support particularly sweet, as it ends with Jeritza complimenting Manuela’s skill as a teacher, rather than her beauty and eligibility as a bachelorette, after having been rather quiet throughout the support. Jeritza is someone who is aware of the struggles women in Fodlan face and seems to have a much easier time connecting to them than they do with men. I’d like to contrast this with Sylvain; although their background is not identical, it’s similar, but Sylvain ended up a raging misogynist, and Jeritza ended up with a love and appreciation for women as people.
I also want to circulate back to Jeritza’s relationship to their past as Emile. The case has been made that Jeritza’s rejection of the Emile identity is a rejection of their kindness and softness, and I can appreciate the reading, but I don’t know if that’s the only possible way to read this. Notably, Jeritza’s C support with Byleth has Jeritza plainly state that they are using the Jeritza identity while at rest eating ice cream, and also plainly state that Jeritza is “myself”. We also at no point see Jeritza fall back on the Emile name in their supports with Manuela, when their B support is about Jeritza learning to present a more approachable, kindly face. The identity of Jeritza is not excluded from the sweetness of Emile; after all, the Death Knight identity is there, concentrating all that bloodlust, so it’s interesting how hard Jeritza insists they not be called their previous name. 
Now, let’s get to the juiciest piece of evidence; Maria Jeritza. Names in this game are very important and very telling of the author’s intentions behind the character; look at the Galatea household, named after a story about men attempting to literally create the ideal woman, or how the houses of Liecester are named for King Lear. The name Jeritza, very clearly, comes from a woman. Specifically, an opera singer by the name of Maria Jeritza. Maria was an operetta who lived in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, and a cursory glance at her Wikipedia page gives some damning evidence. For starters, her performance won her the patronage of then Emperor of Austria, a clear parallel to our Jeritza’s relationship with Edelgard, and the operas she performed in had similar themes to Jeritza’s story; Der Kuhreigen is an opera written with her in mind where she stars a woman who dies tragically in the french revolution, and Lohengrin is a story about a mysterious powerful knight hiding his identity. (My personal favorite similarity is that Maria was nicknamed “The Moravian Thunderbolt”- now what element of black magic does Jeritza learn?) The character of Jeritza being named after a woman, to me, clearly means something.
(Also this isn’t part of a larger paragraph but I’ll point out that mask tied to the Jeritza identity has bright red eyeliner)
So we have a character who is named after a woman, has a previous masculine name that they constantly reject, and has a much stronger relationship to women than to men. This is already, in my eyes, very strong evidence, but now I’m going to bring up my personal experiences with gender and having been AMAB and talk about the themes Jeritza has as a character.
Jeritza’s core theme is that of internalized monsterhood- that everything about them is Wicked and Dangerous, something that brings them great shame and drives them to isolation. That sort of feeling is not, of course, exclusive to the transgender experience, but in my case it very strongly aligns with it. I have felt, and still feel like, a sort of disgusting inhuman monster because of my body and Bad Thoughts, and so much of that is tied to the disparity between my body and how I wish to present. We even see this feeling of monsterhood is tied to Jeritza’s masculine body- namely, their resemblance to their father. In Houses, they call their own eyes “accursed” and compare them unfavorably to their mother’s and sister’s. In Hopes, they directly compare their face to their father’s and state that they have a hard time with mirrors- a symptom of both DID and gender dysphoria. That fear of hurting someone, that feeling of being unworthy to talk to the women around you, that is painfully relatable to me, and something that took me from an interest in the character to my current obsession.
And, content warning ahead, Jeritza is plainly suicidal. They talk repeatedly about both receiving recompense for their wicked deeds, and offer Byleth the chance to kill them repeatedly. Trans suicide rates are something commonly discussed, and while suicidal ideation is certainly not exclusive to trans people, there is a connection. 
Jeritza, in my eyes is supremely relatable to my own transfem experience, and the number of similarities to it are hard to brush off as simply coincidence, especially in a game that has as much character work in it as Three Houses. Compare Linhardt’s clear symptoms of ADHD, Edelgard’s PTSD. The writers of this game are clearly willing to write characters who go beyond the assumed default human experience without explicitly highlighting it, and frankly, I very much suspect that someone intended for Jeritza von Hrym to be read as transgender.
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princessmacedon · 1 year
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@lualamina​
Night-black hooves thunder beneath storm clouds, churning and kicking up sodden earth. Combatants have thinned since the wyvern and its rider crumpled before his lance, but the knight with the hunter's eyes seeks a fresh target still. Do not kill them rings incessantly in his ears, but quieter now beneath pouring rain and the thrum of his own blood. D-- t--- kill them. D--- kill them. Kill them.
Someone stands up ahead. Red hair, blood-colored, supplants humanity with a target. The hunter spins his spear in one hand and strikes down with the precision of a spear-fisher as he gallops past. New, fresh blood drips into the serrated ridges as he rips it free again, where it mingles with the remnants of her brother's that the rain could not wash away.
Jeritza uses Hit and Run [Killer Lance]! Roll: 19 - 1 = 18, Critical Hit! Damage: -5HP, Miracle activates! Maria 0.5/5HP
“Aagh!” Though she catches her new opponent’s arrival, it’s all too slow; a frantic turn over her right shoulder, a lightning-flash of pain striking her on her left. It hurts. She falls back, all her weight crashing into her out thrown palm. It hurts. Mud sticks to sable cloth in mostly-wet clumps, her heart a-quiver in a syncopated beat. 
Maria initiates with Nosferatu! 1d20 = 5 ; barely hit! Fiendish Blow grants +1mag to Maria ; +/-1HP (Maria 1.5/5 ; Jeritza 4/5)
It is a spell as steady as her hand. With every breath, her shoulders rise more, blood and rainwater seeping between uncalloused fingers. No -- no, she mustn’t panic. What would Michalis do here? Minerva? 
“Gh...” She knows, but she isn’t them. When she struggles to her feet it is hasty and ungainly; she only tries to meet his eyes, to see him as he inevitably approaches yet again. 
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queersrus · 1 year
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Fire Emblem theme
a name list from fire emblem Three Houses specifically! including dlc characters.
made for a friend!
ash, ashe, ashen an, ann, anna, annette, al, alo, aloi, alois, ael, aelf, aelfri, aelfric, aby, abys, abyss, abysskeep, abysskeeper, ar, aru, arun, arund, arunde, arundel, ad, adra, adras, adrast, adrasti, adrastia, adrastian, ach, ache, acher, achero, acheron, ans, anse, ansel, anselm, anselma, aub, aubi, aubin,
by, byl, byle, byleth, ber, bern, berna, bernad, bernadette, bernadetta, bal, balthus, blake, black, bar, baro, baron, be, bee, bea, beast, bi, bia, bias, berna, bernha, bernhard, bly, blyd, blydd, blyde, blyddyd, blai, blaid, blaide, blade, blaidd, blaidde, blaiddy, blaiddyd, bladed,
caspar, casper, cas, cass, clawd, claud, claude, cath, cathe, cather, catheri, catherin, catherine, cy, cyr, cyri, cyril, cyrill, con, cons, const, constan, constance, constanz, constanza, cor, corn, corne, cornel, corneli, cornelia, chi, chil, chilo, chilon, chav, chave, chavel, chaveli, chavelie, chavelier, chava, chaval, chavalie, chavalier, cheva, chev, cheval, chevali, chevalie, chevalier, char, charo, charon, chri, chris, christ, christo, christoph, chrisophe, christopho, christophon, christophone, cou, coun, count, claudi, claudie, claudia, ceth, cethl, cethle, cethlea, cethlean, cethleen, cethleann, ci, cic, cice, cich, cicho, cichol,
deer, dear, doro, dorothy, dorathy, dorothee, dorothea, dim, dimi, dimitry, dimitri, dedue, duk, duke, dom, domi, domin, domini, dominic, dominik, dominique, dea, dae, dee, death, daph, daphn, daphne, daphnel, der, deri, derik, derek, derick, derrick
eagle, edel, edelgard, em, emp, empo, empor, empe, emper, empero, emperor, er, erwi, erwin, ed, edd, edmun, edmund,
fer, ferd, ferdi, ferdinand, feli, felix, flay, flayn, fle, flech, fleche, fae, faer, faergh, faerghus, fla, flame, fo, fod, fodl, fodle, fodla, fodlan, fral, frald, fralda, fraldar, fraldari, fraldarius,
gil, gilbert, gate, gatekeep, gatekeeper, ger, gerth, gwen, gwend, gwenda, gwendal, gar, gare, gareg, garr, garre, garreg, gaj, gajas, gajus, gau, gaut, gauti, gautie, gautier, glau, glauc, glauce, glauces, glaucest, glaucester, glou, glouc, glouce, glouces, gloucest, gloucester, gon, gone, goner, goneril, greg, grego, gregoi, gregoir, gregoire, gun, guna, gunar, gunn, gunna, gunnar, glen, glenn, godfr, godre, godfre, godfrey,
hu, hubert, hi, hil, hild, hilde, hilda, han, hanne, hanneman, hapi, hol, hols, holst,
in, ingri, ingrid, igni, igna, ignat, ignite, ignatz, io, ion, ionu, ionus, ioni, ioniu, ionius, iri, iris, ind, inde, indech,
jer, jeri, jerit, jeritz, jeritza, jera, jeral, jeralt, jud, jude, judi, judo, judie, judy, judith,
kni, knigh, knight, ko, kos, kost, kosta, kostas, kro, kron, krony, kronya, klau, klaus, klause, ky, kyph, kyphe, kypho, kyphon, kyphone, klie. klei, kleim, kleima, kleiman,
lion, leon, liona, liono, leona, leono, leonie, lin, linhardt, lor, lore, loren, lorence, lorenz, lorenzo, lorenza, ly, lys, lysi, lysith, lysithe, lysithea lu, lud, ludwi, ludwig, lad, ladi, lady, ladis, ladisa, ladisal, ladisalv, ladisalve, ladisalva, ladisla, ladislav, ladislave, ladislava, lon, lona, lonat, lonato, lei. leic, leice, leices, leicest, leiceste, leicester, luc, luca, lam, lami, lamin, lamine, leo, leop, leopo, leopol, leopold, lyc, lyce, lyca, lycao, lycaon, lamb, lambe, lamber, lambert, loog,
mer, merc, merca, mercade, mercades, merce, mercede, mercedes, mar, mari, maria, marian, mariann, marianne, marianna, man, manu, manue, manuel, manuela, mon, moni, monic, monica, monika, monique, moniqua, met, meto, metody, metodey, mi, mik, mike, mika, mikla, miklan, my, mys, myso, myson, marc, marce, marcel, marcell, marcelle, marcela, marcella, mau, maur, mauri, maurice, marc, mark, marque, marqui, marquis, marquise, mat, matt, matth, math, matthi, matthia, matthias, may, maya, marg, margre, margra, margrav, margrave, mac, mack, mach, macu, macui, macuil,
nad, nade, nader, nem, neme, nemes, nemesi, nemesis, noa, noah,
och, oche, ochs, od, ode, odes, odess, odesse, os, oz, oswa, oswal, oswald, or, ord, orde, ordel, ordeli, ordelia,
petra, pal, pall, palla, pallad, pallar, pallard, pallardo, pit, pitt, pitta, pita, pittac, pittacu, pittacus, pan, pat, patr, patre, patri, patrice, patrici, patricia,
raph, raf, rapha, raphae, raphael, ran, rand, rando, randol, randolph, rod, rodr, rodre, rodri, rodrig, rodrigo, rodriga, rodrigue, rodriguez, rhe, rhea, rie, rieg, riega, riegan, ru, rufus, ro, row, rowe,
seiros, ser, seir, seiro, sy, syl, sylv, sylve, sylva, sylvai, sylvain, set, seto, setos, sete, seteth, sham, shami, shami, so, soth, sothi, sothis, solo, solos, solon, si, sim, simo, simon, simone, sit, sitr, sitre, sitri,
tom, tomas, thomas, thal, thala, thalas, thale, thales, ti, tia, tian, tiann, tianne, tiane, tiana, tianna tim, timo, timoth, timothy, timothee, timothie, timothea, timothia, timotheo, timotheos,
um, umb, umra, umbral,
ves, vest, vestr, vestre, vestra, vi, vis, visc, visco, viscou, viscoun, viscount,
wolf, wolfe, wolve, wil, wilh, wilhe, wilhel, wilhelm, wal, wald, walde, waldem, waldema, waldemar,
yu, yuri,
zol, zoltan,
list
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opaleyedprince · 11 months
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ah yes the eternal question of "is this lady maria or jeritza"
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callasdaily · 2 years
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June 2
On June 2, 1962, Callas attended the opening performance of “Gli ugonotti” (that’s Meyerbeer’s “Les Huguenots”) at La Scala. Here she is backstage visiting Franco Corelli. She could have been in it, in the role of Valentine, which was sung by Giulietta Simionato. Joan Sutherland was Queen Marguerite.
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This leads to the topic of “roles Callas could have performed”. Back in 1951 Gian Carlo Menotti, acting upon a suggestion by Wally Toscanini, wanted her to sing the lead role in “The Consul” at La Scala and had a battle with the Callas-averse intendant, Ghiringhelli, over her. Meneghini states that she did not think the music suited her voice. As late as 1969 she was offered the role again, to be sung in Paris at the Théâtre des Champs-Elysées. In the 50s she was offered the role of Lady Hamilton in Lennox Berkeley’s “Nelson”, and Samuel Barber suggested (or offered?) the role of Vanessa. In the 60s Covent Garden came up with the idea of her singing Santuzza with Placido Domingo in their Zeffirelli production. Zeffirelli suggested Poppea in the Monteverdi opera to be sung outdoors in Rome; “But Poppea doesn’t have the biggest part” Maria exclaimed. Visconti proposed “Traviata” at the Paris Opera but Callas demanded so much rehearsal time it was impossible.  Rudolf Bing proposed the mute role of Potiphar’s wife in the Strauss ballet “The Legend of Joseph”, along with “La voix humaine”; one cannot be surprised that this went nowhere.
In the 60s Zeffirelli wanted to make a film of “La traviata” with von Karajan conducting; Onassis put up some seed money. Von Karajan withdrew and Callas lost interest, leaving a quarrel over the Onassis money. There was also a plan to record “Traviata” with Pavarotti; she never did a studio recording of the work, but it was too late.  Visconti wanted to film a biography of Puccini with her as Maria Jeritza. A noted Tosca; this never happened. She turned down the role that Irene Papas played in “The Guns of Navarone”, and the role that Elizabeth Taylor played in “Boom”. She was offered the role of Sarah in John Huston’s “The Bible”; she refused it – Onassis was annoyed – and Ava Gardner played the role.
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Die blonde Carmen, 1929
Atelier Setzer :: Die blonde Carmen. Marie Jeritza singt die "Carmen" blond. Die Bühne 1929, Heft 235, Seite 5. | src ÖNB
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yesterdaysprint · 6 years
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Maria Jeritza, 1925
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opera-ghosts · 1 year
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January 21. 1925 at The Metropolitan Opera.
A Puccini Memorial Performance after the dead of the great Composer November 29. 1924.
Click on the pics for see the cast in that special program. Take also a look on the full program in that week and see that at the same day in the evening was a performance of Wagners “Walküre”.
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thedustyrebel · 6 years
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Jilly Ballistic
From Jilly Ballistic's "Dear Mr. President" series — featuring immigrant opera singers Rosa Raisa and Maria Jeritza, both stars of the The Metropolitan Opera in the early 20th Century.
Here's what Jilly's statement for these pieces:
"Dear Mr. President, I’m sorry to hear your friend and former campaign advisor is under arrest, facing a 12 count indictment, along with his business partner and a separate campaign advisor. I’m also so sorry that your attempt to ban trans people from serving has been barred by the courts.... It seems the wheels of justice are turning, however how slowly, and good will triumph in time. Yes. There’s a lesson here, that good things happen to good people who aren’t bigot scumbags who launder money and sham our democracy. And that good people come with all sorts of backgrounds, ironically, ones you’ve been railing against. Let’s meet two of them, shall we?... May I introduce ROSA RAISA and MARIA JERITZA.... ROSA was born in Poland at the start of the 20th century and her beginnings were a difficult period. Her mother died when she was 4 and the anti Jewish pogrom that spread death and violence forced her into refugee status, fleeing to Italy. There she discovered her beautiful voice and came to NYC as lead Soprano at the Metropolitan Opera in 1913.... MARIA was born to a poor family in what we know as the Czech Republic. Her dad saved money from his job to afford music lessons, which she took for years, from childhood into her teens and it paid off. Skyrocketing to fame at 20 and gaining the nickname “the Moravian Thunderbolt.” She defined Diva, womanhood, feminine strength and took no shit bc she knew her talent and worth: demanding jewels not flowers at openings, racking up husbands and affairs w composers who understood the talent and hard work of this woman.... Both women are seen here as Turandot, circa 1926 in NYC, encompassing and contributing to a golden age in America."
More photos: Jilly Ballistic, Street Art
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the1920sinpictures · 2 years
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1927 Ceramic figurine of opera star Maria Jeritza by Joseph Lorenzl for Goldscheider of Vienna. From Art Deco, FB.
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legendsoffodlan · 4 years
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Hamilton fever comes to Fodlan
The folks at Garreg Mach Monestary somehow managed to find out about the hit play and decided to put on a production of it for themselves.
CAST:
Hamilton: Sylvain (Surprised everyone with his performance, including himself)
Aaron Burr: Dimitri (Byleth gave him the puppy eyes, and it proved to be surprisingly cathartic)
John Laurens: Ashe (Also helped do the sets and costumes)
Lafayette: Caspar (Was the only one who could nail the “Guns and Ships” rap)
Hercules Mulligan: Raphael (Didn’t actually audition, but was doing errands for the cast and they immediately decided that Raphael should by Mulligan)
Angelica: Dorothea (Was actually the one who put this madness together)
Eliza: Marianne (They originally wanted Mercedes, but she thought that Mari could use the self-esteem boost. She blew the performance away)
Peggy: Annette (Too busy to take a bigger role. Also, she kept destroying the sets)
Samuel Seabury: Lorenz (Wanted to be Hamilton)
King George: Ferdinand von Aiegr (wanted to show he could be a better ruler than Edelgard. Didn’t know the roll involved spitting and being weird)
George Washington: Felix (he was bribed/sweet talked into it by Annette)
Charles Lee: Linhardt (was promised access to Hanemann’s crest research in exchange)
Thomas Jefferson: Claude (Got in mainly to annoy Lorenz. Plus, that purple suit is FABULOUS!)
James Madison: Dedue (Turned out to be an excellent Baritone)
Philip Hamilton: Ignatz (Was duped into it by Claude, but turned out to be pretty great)
Maria Reynolds: Hilda (Only did it if she could keep the red dress)
James Reynolds: Hubert (Edelgard asked nicely)
George Eacker: Jeritza (Byleth promised to duel him)
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princessmacedon · 1 year
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A small plate of sugar cookies await Maria the next time she comes to class. They are still warm, perhaps baked that morning at the gifter's request. Tucked beneath the plate is a plain card of stationary with HAPPY BIRTHDAY. penned in clear, unadorned letters and signed with the letter J. Jeritza lingers outside in the courtyard only long enough to ensure that the half-gift, half-apology has made it to its recipient, then steals away again.
Her birthday begins the same as most days do: with classes that she attends as diligently as ever. By all reason it should proceed the same as the rest of them too, with the exceptions laying with friends and visitors, not such a thing as luck. Yet in spite of this, Maria cannot shake the ineffable feeling that something good will happen today.
And she is proven right when she comes to stand by her desk first thing in the morning, peering at it with curiosity in her eyes. What should greet her but a plate of cookies? Sugar cookies at that — plain and simple, perhaps, but in the same measure sweet and delightful! A gift in no way lacking for any supposed absence or flair.
Pinching the corner of the card beneath it between thumb and fore-knuckle, her suspicions are confirmed: this really, truly is a gift for her. But J…? She doesn’t know a J, does she? A finger curls over her chin in thought. Who would leave this for her…?
It’s when the scent wafts to her nose again a second later that she realizes the treats are still warm, and with a jolt, the little cleric stumbles toward the entryway, a hand braced upon its frame as she looked out upon the courtyard.
“Um…” Rather than worrying about anonymity and mysteries, if the confections were that fresh, surely— surely!— her secret gift-giver had to be nearby.
“Thank you very much!” She called out to somebody, wherever they were. “I hope you have a good day, too!”
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thewalkingplumbob · 3 years
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Just finished my second play through of FE3H and honestly? It was better than the first play through! I played the Azure Moon/Blue Lions route first and never thought I’d be able to like Edelgard since she’s technically the “villain”, but playing the Crimson Moon/Black Eagles route made me realize how precious her character is. My friend Maria told me to give her a chance since I had only learned Dimitri’s side of the story and I’m glad I listened. There’s so much to El and her story, and once you know it you understand her motives and why she does what she does. Basically, I LOVE EDELGARD AND SHE’S NOT THE VILLAIN I SWEAR. Also fuck Rhea and the last battle bc that shit was hard. I only managed to lose two units though which I guess was good? But those fucking robot doll things were the wooooooorst.
I was a bit surprised at the couples at the end though. I thought I had figured who’d end up with who based on support levels but I was completely off. Lysithea, Felix, Anna, Jeritza, and Hubert ended up by themselves. Leonie ended up with Shamir (as “gal pals” of course 🙃), Linhardt ended up with Petra, Ferdinand with Bernadetta (my bb Bernie deserved better tbh!!!), Caspar with Dorothea (this one shocked me the most lol), and of course I had Byleth end up with Edelgard.
Gonna play the Verdant Wind/Golden Deer route next. Ahhhh I love this game!!!
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jtavington · 3 years
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SSAU - Edelgard’s defense
Yes, she could be quite comfortable here. It wasn't that different from her scraps of memory of Faerghus.
Faerghus. She had lived in a house a little like this in Fhirdiad when she and her real uncle had been exiles. They were never supposed to see home again to keep her safe. Edelgard shuddered. The last few weeks broke over her. Constance and Hubert were dead. She was alive, even though she had promised all of Adrestia that it was better to die than to fail in their glorious revolution. She was a cripple and didn't know whether or how much she could expect to improve. She had a false name, a false history, and worst of all a false marriage. She covered her eyes as best as she could with her good hand as tremors of trapped sobs overtook her.
Byleth knelt before her. "What's wrong?"
Edelgard grit her teeth. She had lost the ability to cry when she had watched her last sister die, but the tremors wouldn't stop. "What am I supposed do?" she managed.
"Well, you've had a long day, so I think it would be a good idea if you took a nap and--”
"No." She dropped her hand and forced herself to look Byleth in the eye. "What I supposed to do? You've rescued me from death and those blasted rings are around our fingers, Maria. We're halfway across the continent, sharing a house with a former diva and a criminal mastermind who despises me. You've moved heaven and earth to make sure I lived when I should have died. But everyone I've ever loved besides you is dead, we've left chaos behind us, and I can't use the bathroom on my own. What sort of life do you envision for us? Or was it just the guilt you couldn't stand? If it was, I assure you that everything those refugees said was true. You can run me through with a clear conscience."
The room fell silent. Edelgard's chest burned with the exertion of speaking so much. She and Byleth looked at each other. There were little lines around Byleth's eyes that hadn't been there five years ago. She didn't look like the second coming of the Goddess. She looked tired. She rose to lock the door before returning to kneel in front of Edelgard, “I suppose we do need to talk about it." She swallowed. "You don't think living is a good thing?"
"Not good enough." She wished she was younger, wished they were back at Garreg Mach with thousands of stars overhead, wished she was drunk on the belief that she had found one person she could tell her secret. "Not when the church and the nobility are stronger than ever and there's nothing I can do about it. I didn't drink the hemlock for your sake, Professor, but the dream I lived for, my oldest friend, and the woman I love are all dead. All that's left are you in the blood at my feet. I don't know how to move forward." And without that movement, she was nothing.
Byleth exhaled. "I didn't think that far ahead. I just wanted to change cruel fate. But I guess I've got to think, for both our sakes."
"I suppose you do."
"Then...tell me something." She swallowed. "How much of the Flame Emperor and the persecution and everything I saw during the war...how much of that was you?”
Edelgard blinked. Of all the questions Byleth could have asked... No doubt she was deciding whether Edelgard deserved mercy. Edelgard would not beg. She made her voice as even and clipped as her traitorous muscles permitted. "I hired Kostas to murder Dimitri and Claude. Retrieving the Sword of the Creator and faking an assassination attempt was Thales' idea, though I would have cheerfully used the sword if I'd been able. I told him to use Jeritza as he wished. I learned about Flayn's kidnapping after it had already happened. Truthfully? I was glad to see him blow up in their face. Everything I told you about Remire was true. It was an atrocity, and I was glad to see Solon die for it. They were my subjects.
"And Dad?” Her voice was small, like a child's. "You didn't...”
It would be easy to crush her hope, to play the opera villain and say she had planned it all. Just as easy as it would have been to let that Beast kill her. "I think that was Kronya's act of spite. Your revenge was a good excuse for me to get some of my own. The Holy Tomb... I needed the Crest Stones. Nothing, not even you or the Black Eagles were going to stop me."
"I see," Byleth said in the exact same tone as if this were an oral examination. "You needed them for Beasts."
There was no point in denying it. "I believed it necessary, considering the Alliance and Kingdom had so many Relics."
"Necessary?” Byleth whispered. "You saw what happened to Miklan and you believed it necessary? Nothing justifies that." Her eyes flashed and she gripped the arms of the chair so hard that her knuckles turned white. "I'm sure we missed some. And they can live for a thousand years. You did that."
"Better that than failure. If the world were just, I might not have needed them. If I had had more power, I would have sent Thales to the eternal flames where he belongs long ago. But the church you love so much is worse than Thales. They control humans. They lied and said Crests were a gift of the Goddess and they kept lying.” Her vision blurred. They had made her believe Saint Seiros and the Goddess cared and would spirit her from the dungeons if only she prayed hard enough. "I wouldn't be surprised if they controlled what we know of the natural world."
Byleth flinched as if she had been struck. "You don't know that."
Edelgard thrust home. “But they might. They would have never let my reforms stand, and dragons live much longer than humans. I would have gotten rid of Crests without war, and I never would have had a chance without the Beasts and the alliances and everything else you find so distasteful.”
Nothing. Edelgard felt oddly light. She had given up any hope of being understood, but it felt good to make the case at long last. Byleth would do as she must.
"Thank you." Her face and voice were no easier to read than before as she stood. She looked down at Edelgard, appraising, and Edelgard found herself holding her breath. "I know what I want to do with you. You shed innocent blood, Edelgard. You made decisions for other kingdoms that you had no right to make. Your suffering and good intentions mitigate that. They do not justify it. What you did wasn't necessary."
Edelgard closed her eyes. So this was how her execution came.
"And I want you to prove it. I told you that your paralysis wasn't the end of your dream. I think that's true. Because it was always your drive, your desire for justice, your charisma that made you my favorite. The Edelgard von Hresvelg I remember would never give up." Her hand covered Edelgard's good one. "Prove to the world that Crests don't matter. I'll help you."
"How?" Five years ago, she would have given her weight in gold for Byleth to say something like that. She would have taken on the world if only her professor stood at her side. And that overawed teenager was still a part of her, as much as she hated it.
"Recovering would be a good start.”
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