#MOANA BITCH

[whump-queen]

i just wanted to say i loved seeing you go through ashtrays story and reading your tags agkfhdjs hope your fever went down and you were able to rest :D

— @honeycollectswhump

OMG WAAHH HIHII!!

I don’t think we’ve talked before but !! ok we have @whumpsday and @whumpshaped to thank for this whump story matchmaking because

AND THEN I BINGEREAD IT THAT NIGHT.

i’m always thrilled and delighted that people are reading my unhinged tags, and that the author of the work (YOU BABE!!) sees my little spam and !! YAY!! I hope it makes you feel some of the good happy emotions I felt while reading your little ashtray story cuz it just made me so happy to read 🥰🥰🥰

#long ask answer cuz i’ve been rly isolating myself the last few months and like #fuck I had to get back on this BEING UNHINGED ANYWAY and reading the little stories about pathetic boys LIKE ASHTRAY AAAGGF #and just going to fuck OFF in the tags cuz that’s HOW I DO IT BABYYYYYY #bc it’s always how i’ve connected w people on here and I HAD STOPPED DOING IT WHICH #LIKE #MOANA BITCH #REMEMBER WHO U ARE #so yes he gives me the spice of life again #a little ashtray whumpee to remind me why i’m sticking around on this little rock a litttttle looongerrrrrr #and yes my fever went down feeling bettte now <3333 #answered asks #akias asks #MOANA BITCH MOANA MOANA

[steelthroat]

Live action remakes????

FUCK YOU! FROM NOW ON I WANNA SEE ANIMATED REMAKES

Comics adaptations even. Just to piss y'all off.

I hate it I hate it I hate it. This stupid trend of getting GREAT animated project and just fucking adding living people to it.

BROTHER I DONWANT REAL PEOPLE AND REALISTIC LOOKING DRAGONS. Why should I look at a watered down version of a fictional world (because honey let's be real cgi costs a teeny weeny bit too much) instead of a colorful, LIVING AND BREATHING animated world???? HUH?????

Also fuck remakes. I watched 3 remakes in my entire life and they sucked. Why should I watch something worse... or even just not as good as the original animated thing in teh first place???

I have the ANIMATED masterpiece right here I'm not impressed by your "very important actor playing this role that the original voice actor did better anyway" or your "not as bad as I thought would be cgi".

Seriously I don't get it, I'll be watching an action movie and I imagine at the cooler animated version and there's some boring-ass showrunner zapping through some episodes and going "guys here's what we're gonna ruin with realism next ^w^"

Also in 2 of the 3 remakes I watched they just flattened the characters and made them ✨️morally perfect✨️ and the third one was just the same thing with 2 scenes more that added ✨️NOTHING✨️

Also I find it insulting the existence of a remake in the first place. Like animation isn't enough and is the lesser art and NEEDS to be remade. Like fuck you? Fuck your realism-fetish.

#i hate live action remakes so much is unreal #and i think at this point I'm almost radicalized #because honestly they're philosophically wrong #and they're not even good #I tried watching avatar okay? #and the people telling “no actually is good is more mature look at people dying on screen” #i ask #Why #what is that I'm missing? #it's just bad all around #people are just bitching about it less because it looks good #like it's not that hard making anything better than the og movie... #steel rambles #also really #do we need a live action remake of Moana???? #not even 10 years ffs #and HTTYD... #DO WE REEEEEALLY NEED IT??? #REALLY?????? #I'm just so tired i see cool animated projects getting canceled and discontinued and live action remakes with costs ridiculously high #getting the greenlight #and the production costs are ridiculously high and the actors spend 75% of the show standing and TALKING #fucking infodumping instead of showing #like i get not everyone gets subtle details #BUT PLEASE SHOW DON'T TELL ME EVERYTHING #this is not effing Dora the explorer i didn’t sign for this #sorry for the rant seriously but just #ffffffffffuck

[pacific-coast-hockey]

Adam Raška's "Beach Party Playlist" is insane.

#posted on the official account! he made this playlist knowing people would look at it! #he said i'm putting madonna a song from moana banners and war by edwin starr on one playlist and none of you bitches can stop me #adam raška #adam raška you will always be famous #san jose barracuda

[s0fter-sin]

with the disney plus singalongs, is there a reason they didn’t include the samoan and tokelauan lyrics for moana? since there’s been such a push to protect indigenous languages it feels weird

#im speaking as a whiter than white white bitch so its not my place but its still strange #like they made an entire version in maori but they didnt include the subtitles for the languages they speak in the actual film? #even if it was meant as well they repeat the verse in english so whats the point thats still shitty #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #moana

[0urloveisdahlia]

They don't exist bitch, they're imaginary.

.

#amoongsus #noah from the bible #airplanes #blood sucking parasites #zebras #vitamins #the united states of america #wasabi ice cream #bang chan #cocoa ass #ovulation fluid #balls #that one bitch from moana #tiny bananas #children #frogs #anna from frozen #men on youtube #only mark tho #rick astley #shen xiaoting from kep1er #hyuna and dawn #dm by fromis_9 #sloths #watermelon #mangos #the statue of liberty #the holy trinity #purple cats #quebec

[sinnershavesoulstoo]

fuck i have to get better because i don't want to miss out on seeing Moana 2 ffs

#it's going to be fomo that keeps me alive #every time #because i'm a nosy sensitive bitch that needs to know and needs to keep things going #and also moana fucks #personal

[libraryofzeglyth]

tiktok by czyra__ | posted july 27, 2023

no one leaves

#czyra__ #tiktok #blackpink #song: where you are #artist: moana #bitch i love moana #AND NO ONE LEAVES!!! (PLS DONT) #SO HERE ILL STAY! MY HOME MY PEOPLE BESIDE ME!!! AND WHEN I THINK OF TOMORROW THERE WE ARE! #whatever they do i really hope they stay together

[tiajk]

Socials Dating Kyle “gaz” Garrick

(fem version) social au masterlist

So_ap: made them make up shit was getting toxic

Tagged: [name]therealest, kyletogaz

[name]therealest: sadly it worked and i’m not mad anymore

-> L.Tghost: that picture says otherwise

-> [name]therealest: hater 😒

kyletogaz: toxic? no it was borderline abuse

-> [name]therealest: elaborate honey?

->kyletogaz: you tired throwing hot grits on me like in madea

-> [name]therealest: fuck around and fine out 🤷‍♀️

-> farahKarim: whatever she did i support it

-> Ale_: i second that

[name]therealest: my man too fine to be outside might have to throw him in my basement

Tagged: kyletogaz

So_ap: do it 👏

kyletogaz: we can be locked in the basement together 🤭

-> [name]therealest: ofc 🤧

Capprice: no one’s locking anyone in a basement

-> rud¥: she might

kyletogaz: my girlfriend is moana 🐚

Tagged: [name]therealest

h0rangi: can she even swim?

-> [name]therealest: yes bitch

So_ap: I miss it there 😔

-> kyletogaz: me too bro me too

#cod x female reader #black coded reader #poc reader #tiajk 🫧🩰🎀🗯️ #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick #gaz x reader #141 x female reader #task force 141 x reader #141 x reader

[ontheshroom]

Don’t hate the player

Jack Harlow x influencer!reader

Fluff

Short

Synopsis: Jack and the reader do this challenge

******************************

“Hey, guys! I’m stopping the video when I find someone I’d cheat on Jack with.” You tell the camera, showing Jack in the frame.

You start the filter and scrunch your face as it lands on Fry from Futurama.

“Mmm no.” You say, tapping the screen.

“Better than me,” Jack says jokingly.

Maui from Moana pops up and Jack drops his jaw.

“End the video, babe.” He says in awe.

“Boy, it’s when I would leave you, not when you would leave me.” You laugh.

“I wouldn’t.” You say and tap the screen again.

The pictures cycle through before it ends on Christoph from Frozen.

“You better n-“ Jack is cut off by you ending the video.

“I’m sorry. He’s fine.” You put your hands up in defense.

“Bro sells ice for a living!”

You cross your arms and glare at him

“Don’t hate on the come-up just cause he could bag a bad bitch like me.” You tell him smugly.

“Mhm.” He rolls his eyes.

“Besides he clearly likes princesses.” You smile.

“Only time you’re a princess is when it involves a pillow.” Jack smacks his lips.

You drop your jaw and grab the nearest pillow next to you and whack him with it.

“Oh, so you wanna play?” He smirks, grabbing a pillow.

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow smut #jack harlow angst #jack harlow fic #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow concepts #dad!jack #jack harlow dialogue #ceo!jack #fratboy!jack

[disney-is-mylife]

Disney Prince x Princess Couples SWAP!!!

FYI: I'm ONLY counting official Princess couples, which ends with Anna being the last one with a canon love interest. So, there's no Merida, Elsa, Moana, or Raya. The goal for this was to have Prince x Princess crossover pairings ONLY.

Snow White x Eugene

Rapunzel is basically Modern-Day Snow White, and they have very similar Pure Hearts, the kind that can break down Eugene's walls. Snow White knows how to be firm when necessary, but her greatest strength is her unfailing kindness. Eugene would definitely reveal his deepest desires after sharing a cup of tea with Snow.

Cinderella x Adam (the Beast)

Picture this: Cinderella chooses to stay at the Beast's castle in exchange for her family (be it her dad, who is alive some versions of the fairytale, or her step-family, because she IS selfless enough to try to help them). She no longer has to work as a slave (though knowing her, she'd still damn well would try to help out), and she would assimilate easily into an Enchanted Castle's environment, and her gentleness and kindness, with juuuuust a bit more of a feisty backbone to confront the Beast's temper, would unravel the Beast's tangled heart.

Aurora x Eric

There are two things Phillip and Eric have in common: they both slayed the villain in an incredibly badass fashion, and they both are smitten with a mysterious voice. Eric is 1000% an homage to Prince Phillip's character, and you cannot tell me that he wouldn't fall head over heels in love with Mary Costa "Briar Rose's" gorgeous voice. (And let's be real, Aurora definitely has a Type lol)

Ariel x John Smith

Ariel wants to see the human world. John Smith wants to explore the "New World." You do the math. Okay, in all honesty, this is lowkey my least favorite pairing 😭 but when you take away the Awkward Historical Stuff, they do still??? kinda fit???? It's one thing for Ariel to go ashore the nearest human kingdom; it's another for her to actually EXPLORE the planet, with an equal adventurer by her side. (Originally, I paired her with Aladdin, but I found an equal, if not better partner for him below ^^")

Belle x Phillip

Here's a "Prince Charming" who takes names and kicks ass and would provide the adventure Belle wants so dearly. Also, I just want good things for Belle, so really, who wouldn't want Prince Slay-a-Dragon-Get-the-Girl Phillip???

Jasmine x Shang

Shang likes a woman who can kick his ass, whether physically or verbally, and Jasmine 1000% fits the bill. Also, she'd whip that Internalized Misogyny out of his system faster than you can say "I'll Make a Man Out of You" lol

Pocahontas x Kristoff

Look, they're both outdoorsy types, definitely prefer animals to people, and totally would take up rock climbing as a couple's activity. They're one of the few couples on this list that I did NOT change my mind on; they just fit, okay????

Mulan x Florian

Idk sometimes I'm a basic bitch and just want a Malewife x Girlboss pairing bksbdvhbdvnmsdxngf

Tiana x Charming

I just want good things for Tiana and if that means marrying a rich prince who'll step back and let her manage her own restaurant or the palace kitchens, then so be it! Again, Malewife x Girlboss 😤

Rapunzel x Aladdin

Both are adventurous, both have confidence in their abilities despite their traumas, and Rapunzel is feisty enough for Aladdin's tastes. (Also, I have an inexplicable image of them adventuring throughout Agrabah with Punzie's hair swinging them about, Spider-Man style hdbgfjsdbhkgbsdf XD)

Anna x Naveen

Look, Naveen has actual Game, and is NOT sinister like Hans, so he would EASILY sweep Anna off her feet, in the best way possible. But he wouldn't jump to marriage, and Elsa's Ice Queen presence would prevent him from, ah, moving things too fast lol ^^" Naveen, at the end of the day, is a supporter, not a leader, and that gives room for Anna to take the reins.

#Starling ramblings #Disney #Disney crossover #Disney Princess #Disney couples #Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs #Tangled #Cinderella #Beauty and the Beast #Sleeping Beauty #The Little Mermaid #Pocahontas #Aladdin #Mulan #The Princess and the Frog #Frozen #please don't @ me these are literally crack pairings khdbfkhf #that said I DID try to be fair and match them as best as I could #20 notes

[modelbus]

Hii! Can I request a Tommy x reader (romantic) where they’re just chilling at Tommys apartment together and she jokingly hits him with a pillow and runs off and he catches her and they start play fighting just lots and lots of fluff <33 she/her pronouns or they/them if you want

I am a sucker for fluff... I used a third person POV for this one! Let me know if you like it, or which POV you prefer.

Pairing: Tommyinnit x Female!Reader (romantic)

Fluffy Fighting

"You can edit more in the morning, please get some sleep." She begs.

Tommy, ever persistent on his editing conquest, doesn't even turn his chair around to answer. "I'll be done eventually."

"But at what cost?"

To that he doesn't reply. Although she knew Tommy loved YouTube and Twitch, this was taking it a bit far. Some of his subtitlers went on vacation so he decided to subtitle his video himself, but it was just taking forever. A whole day of editing! That meant she hadn't gotten to spend any actual time with her boyfriend despite having been invited to his apartment.

"You're going to fuck up your sleep schedule." She tries again, but to no avail.

Stubbornness was both a good and a bad trait, for this exact reason.

"I'll fix it eventually." He dismisses.

That's it. Grabbing a pillow from the bed, she stands and quietly approaches him. He doesn't spot her, so she hits him on the head with it.

Immediately, his hands stop moving on the keyboard and mouse. With a swallow, she backs up a few steps and drops the pillow. At least he's spun his chair around?

"Did you just hit me with a fucking pillow?"

"No?"

The way his lips are tugging up into a grin, ruining his fake frown, betray him. See, she knows that look. It was his bad idea look, his "I'm going to drag you into my bad idea look", and in general his mischievous look. So, like any sane person would, she turns tail and runs.

Within seconds she can hear him running after her. The thing about Tommy was that he was tall with long legs, meaning she was absolutely screwed.

“Get back here, bitch!” He yells.

She raises her middle finger in his vague direction, too busy rounding the couch to actually look behind her. When she fakes left he jolts that way, and when he fakes right she jolts the other way.

To her right is a half-finished Lego set, so she grabs a Lego and chucks it at him.

"Hey!" He yells, finding it and throwing it back. "Leave my Legos out of this!" After a second of a weird stand-off, he attempts to hop the couch. It’s more of an awkwardly slow tumble, sending her into laughter.

Unfortunately for her, he recovers quickly. Noticing a second too late she barely turns around before he’s grabbing her wrist and tugging her backwards. Arms wrap around her waist once she’s in range, trapping her in his embrace.

“I am going to suffocate you.” He announces.

“Wait, please, I have a family.”

“Not anymore!”

"I have so much to live for!" She fake sobs.

"Like what, bitch?!"

A small smile grows on her face, her next words glaringly obvious.

"Well, I have this boyfriend named Tommy who I'm pretty sure would like me to live."

"Well what if he doesn't?"

"...fuck. Didn't consider that."

Finally, Tommy laughs and breaks his character.

"Guess my boyfriend won't get kisses from me anymore." She hums, slipping out of his now-relaxed hold.

"Wait." He pouts. "I do want you to live!"

"Oh, in that case..."

She turns around to face him, leaning up for a kiss. After a second she can't help herself, and mumbles against his lips, "I win."

"What?" He laughs, pulling away with a faint blush.

"You aren't editing. I win."

"You tricked me!"

"Yup. And it worked. So you have to go to bed now, because I won."

"I didn't agree to that!"

"My rules."

"This is-" A yawn cuts him off halfway through, and he doesn't attempt to finish the sentence.

"Exactly. Come on, we can fall asleep to Moana or something."

"Moana is actually so fucking good."

"I know, I know."

Before she can head back to his bedroom, he steps closer again and kisses her again. Her hands go around his neck, his around her waist, and they sway just a little.

“Fine. Let’s sleep.” He finally relents.

Now that he's given up trying to resist, it only takes a few minutes for the both of them to find their way to bed. Moana plays on his laptop, but it's almost useless as they both find themselves falling asleep within minutes, curled safely into each other.

#tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit #mcyt #mcyt imagine #dsmp #tommyinnit mcyt

[soulreapin]

some silly lance hcs for the soul :)

Once went to planet that had a similar beach to Varadero, and got a glass jar full of the sand and shells. Made him feel as if he still had a piece of home with him, even if it really wasn’t home. (keeps that jar on shelf in his room on the castle)

Anytime he’s watching a show/movie, he’ll always point out how attracted he is to a character. (“He’s so pretty I think i’m in love Hunk”)

Lance and his twin caused THE MOST trouble growing up. I’m talking about drawing on the walls, destroying toys, stealing from the convenience store, food fights at school, LOTS of detention, sneaking out together late at night, etc. (those drawings are still on the wall at their house) they ran their neighborhood, starting a giant friend group of scary lil sun kissed kids. he thinks about them in space from time to time

owns blue moana watch (keeps it on his shelf)

Pro Surfer, like the ocean was practically his second home.

idk, i thought some of these were silly 🙇‍♀️

OUGHHHH i love these. blue moana watch…..ive fuckin seen that somewhere else and i dont know where but i love it to pieces

along with telling hunk he also tells keith (his boyfriend) how beautiful he thinks that character is and keith looks at him with such an Active Bitch Face allura stirs at the other end of the castle because drama hath been invoked

thank you for the hcs anon i will treasure them greatly 😁

#vld #voltron #vld headcanons #headcanon #lance mcclain #klance #vld lance #lance vld #lance voltron

[11queensupreme11]

Come up with 13 fighters from the Gods' side and 13 fighters from the humans. You're only allowed 2 repeated fighters. [This time, add more goddess representation.] ~ ^(ФωФ)^

13 god fighters:

hera (i just wanna see her fight, this bitch is CRAZY, i know she'd totally win her round)

bastet, egyptian goddess of cats (i picked her because i like cats)

hel, norse goddess of helheim (i like her in the thor: ragnarok movie)

cheuksin, korean toilet goddess, yes you heard me right

yal-un eke, mongolian goddess of fire (she just sounds cool)

baba yaga (not actually a goddess, but a slavic folklore character, but if ror can have to ocs, then i can do this!)

manislat, phillipine goddess of broken homes (she's a crazy bitch that thrives on broken homes and gets pissed whenever ppl are happy 💀, probably hates child protective services? or maybe doesn't cuz they kinda suck too)

yudi or jade emperor, the chinese god of heaven

batara sambu, indonesian god of teachers (i would pit him against an american simply because he would be pissed at the low wages teachers have there)

enlil, mesopotamian god of wind, air, earth, and storms

raijin, japanese god of thunder and lightning

maui, hawaiian demigod (picked him cuz of the disney movie moana)

dievas, lithuanian god of light, sky, prosperity, wealth, ruler of gods, creator deity

13 human fighters:

christopher columbus (solely because i know he'd get absolutely wrecked and i would enjoy every second of it)

marilyn monroe (idk who she would fight, but she would win!!!)

cleopatra

elizabeth bathory (yes the psycho)

joan of arc

martin luther king jr (he would make a GREAT speech before beating the shit outta his opponent)

anne boleyn (not only will she win, but henry viii would become public enemy #1!!!)

karl marx (communism 😈)

sigmund freud (lets be honest, the gods are incestuous so he'd have a blast diagnosing them with oedipus complex/electra complex. this is his wet dream come to life!)

freddie oversteen (lured and killed nazis with her big sister!!!)

julius caesar (watch him get stabbed again LMAOOOO)

sappho (she will win by rizzing up her female opponent through the power of romantic poetry and they both will live happily ever after, the end 💖)

king arthur pendragon (he's in shrek, lol)

#👸🏻| asks #👸🏻| arsenic blues

[khaleesiofalicante]

I was randomly thinking about the firstprince 'discourse' on Star Wars and how that would manifest in the rwrb au. I genuinely can't see David being interested in Star Wars (you do you, babygirl) and I didn't want to include Harry Potter (since Casey McQuiston also removed the HP references in the rwrb new versions). So, I was thinking about what film/media Mavid would both really enjoy but still disagree on. And I found it!

It's Disney! These are Disney bitches!

The following snippet was written at 4 a.m. after I was bullied by @springlily25 via WhatsApp.

“Cinderella and Snow White?” Max asked furiously. “You’d prefer Cinderella and Snow White over Moana and Coco?” 

“Yes,” David replied. 

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Max demanded. He was kinda used to yelling at David over their late night phone calls now. The other man is absolutely ridiculous. The yelling was warranted. 

“Can’t a man like classics?” David asked him. 

“Those classics are outdated as fuck,” Max growled into the phone. “They are not inclusive, they are so stereotypical and not to mention it’s all so anti-feminist.” 

“Anti-feminist?” David asked. 

“Oh, look at me. I’m a helpless little girl who only cares about dresses and going to balls,” Max whispered in a feminine voice. “Come on, dude. It’s so not feminist.” 

“So, what does that mean then?” David asked. “The point of feminism is to be independent and fierce and bold?” 

“Duh,” Max said. 

“I don’t think that’s true,” David said after a short pause. “ Feminism is about making sure you can be whoever you want to be. Feminism means that there is no right way to be a woman and regardless of what kind of woman you want to be, there will always be systematic barriers. Whether you’re a woman who wants to go to war and be a badass or whether you’re a woman who wants to stay at home and take care of babies, you are still going to suffer and you’re still going to be held back because you are a woman. If feminism dictates, what women should do and shouldn’t do, that’s not feminism at all. That’s still the patriarchy. For the record, I think it was absolutely badass of Cinderella to go to a ball. She never went to the ball to see the prince. She went to the ball because she wanted to have fun. She just wanted to go to a party, Max, why would you be mad at her for that?” 

Max was quiet for a long time. Partly because he never heard David so many words in a row and never so quite passionately. And he didn’t expect to like all the words as much as he did. 

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe David could teach him a thing or two. 

“I’m sorry,” Max said, because his parents raised him with right. “You’re right.” 

If the situation was reversed, Max would have laughed loudly, and made fun of David. But David didn’t do any of that. When he spoke, he sounded a little embarrassed. 

“I’m sorry too,” David said. “I didn’t mean to get quite so intense and passionate.” 

“ I like you intense and passionate,” Max quipped and David coughed on the other end of the call. “Reminds me that you’re not a robot.”  

David huffed at that. “But I went on a rant. That was a rant, wasn’t it? I’m not exactly allowed to talk about things like that, so when I do get the opportunity, I tend to babble a bit.” 

“You should babble more,” Max hummed. 

“I literally can’t,” David chuckled dryly.

“Why not?” Max demanded. “Do you know how many people look up to you? Especially little kids! You’re a fucking prince. It’s important that people like you share your opinion on stuff like this.” 

“I… I realize that, but as I said, I can’t,” David said quietly. 

“Why the fuck not?” Max pushed, he was good at that. “You are allowed to have opinions and talk about things too.” 

“I’m a prince,” David chuckled, his tone drier than before. “The moment an opinion leaves my mouth, it turns into a statement.” 

Max knew that. He was the son of the President for crying out loud. Of course he knew that. And he hated that. 

“Well,” Max said eventually. “That’s just sad.” 

David was quiet for a moment before he finally responded. “Yes, that is indeed sad.”

#i am quite pleased with how this turned out #SOMEBODY NEEDS TO STOP LILY #mavid rwrb au

[livstarlight]

In a future hypotetical serene all-funs-and-games time for the Wakanda-Talokan squad where they start a betting game on which disney movie would be Namor's favorite, and the answers would vary from something more obvious like "The Little Mermaid", or a more thought-through answer like "Atlantis", or why not, even "Beauty and the beast" as a joke (" BITCH PLEASE IT'S OBVIOUSLY THAT" "No it's not, Riri")

And Shuri is like "Guys no" but they are obviously not listening to her, until one day she can’t take it anymore and just outright asks him because whatever she is curious too sue her and Namor just looks at her funny and tells her with a shrug that is Moana ("Was it really in question?" "Please just shut up")

#like with no hesitation #i don’t even have to think about it #this is more meme than my normal meme #namor x shuri #namuri #nashuri #seaprincess #namor #shuri #black panther #wakanda forever #mcu #incorrect black panther quotes #meme or whatever is this

[indigos-shits-and-giggles]

Shiny from Moana is so Neptune coded actually, ESPECIALLY in timelines where he's ascended to their Lord in Black form, Starry (or, A'stertunus, if you want to be extra formal). And, interestingly, I think this particular song would be very interesting if it's centered around Starry singing to Hannah.

Now, the first verse seems to be mainly Starry singing about "hey look how cool and pretty I am, I'm a fucking immortal cat god and you're just mortal you fucking loser," and of course the "did your granny say listen to your heart / be who you are on the inside / I need three words to tear her argument apart / your granny LIED" is Starry mocking the things Webby might've told Hannah growing up. Y'know, classic "Webby is a stupid bitch" stuff. But, what these lines really are is the start of the Neptune/Starry and Hannah parallels, yippee!

While most of the song goes about as you'd expect, with Starry singing a cool and awesome song while bragging about how cool and awesome hy is, as Hannah just... Tries to survive, where it REALLY gets juicy is the "Far from the ones who abandoned you" bit where in the original song it's Tamatoa making fun of Maui's backstory and how weak that makes him, here that same part is recontextualized as Starry seeing a reflection of himself in Hannah and HATING IT.

Here's a lyric by lyric breakdown of the parallels so it can fully understand how GENIUS they are.

"Far from the ones who abandoned you / chasing the love of these humans who made you feel wanted."

At first glance, these lines are simply Starry mocking Hannah for their fraught relationship with both their parents, with an absent father and a neglectful, abusive mother, and how that drove them to follow Webby. However, if you know anything about Neptune's backstory, this is strikingly similar to THEIR reason for worshipping Pokey, becoming his adopted son, and in timelines where hy's ascended to his Lord in Black form as Starry, EVEN BECAME A GOD AT ALL. Neptune had a similarly fraught relationship with both his parents, where they were borderline neglectful to them, only caring enough to keep hymn fed, watered, and sheltered, leaving him constantly starved for some form of attention, affection, or a scrap of parental approval. And, just like Hannah, this drove Neptune into the waiting arms of an eldritch god, though instead of the benevolent Queen in White, Webby, it was the most uncompromising of her brothers, Pokotho, the Singular Voice himself.

"You tried to be tough / but your armor's just not hard enough."

This line, in this case, gives away Neptune/Starry's underlying feelings towards Hannah. Again, they realize how similar they are, how they were taken in by eldritch paternal figures for similar reasons, and hy HATES it. In his mind, this just means they have to work to prove hy's BETTER than Hannah somehow, that he's stronger, tougher, and they didn't get where hy was just by being Pokey's son. Acknowledging their similarities would mean acknowledging all his deep rooted issues with their parents, hymns need for approval, and shockingly low self worth, and he doesn't want to do that because that would mean (to Starry, at least), acknowledging hy's weak. So, his goading and mocking of Hannah and how they're supposedly weaker than them is, in reality, hymn grasping at straws, trying to find something that sets him apart from Hannah, makes them better and still worthwhile.

It's honestly kind of depressing, if you think of it. What with all their similarities, Neptune and Hannah might have had an opportunity to become friends once upon a time if Neptune just got a bit of therapy, but because of hymns inferiority complex and fear of not being "good enough" for Pokey, for ANYONE, it's these same similarities that drive them further apart.

#neptune rayner #hatchetfield oc #hatchetfield #hatchetfield universe #team starkid #pokotho #hannah foster #indigo's hatchetfield ocs