#MARX ISNT GONNA FUCK YOU

[dykesferatu]

"Did you call out marvel movies for being one big commercial or do you just hate women?"

people have been calling out marvel movies for...quite some time now for being vehicles to sell you garbage shit like funko pops, disney trips, and the US military.

They're Marketing to You

#'karl marx isnt gonna fuck you' we are never making it out of the nighmare

[aristotels]

Of course all problems and inequalities are direct consequence of modernity and in the past those who are now considered undesirable were considered divine and definitely weren't treated even worse and didn't have access to anything that resembles accomodations. Let's bring those times back!

In Ancient Rome specifically there was no hospitalisation, yes, but also people who were considered mad couldn't make financial and legal operations on their own at all and couldn't be citizens, and were considered pariahs by their communities. This is not to say that you are wrong because you picked the wrong time to see as "when things were better", it's that just because what causes problems now is capitalism doesn't mean that before it people were always kind and caring, everything is much older.

(Or that removing the money would fix everything on its own, for that matter)

are you literally so stupid to fail to see my point

the point isnt "LOOK WHAT THEY TOOK FROM US" the point is that fears and delusions depend on the society youre brought up in; and also sorry that a 5 sentences tumblr post didnt go into history of medical malpractice, it was a lighthearted post made by someone with those very issues

yeah, if i lived then, then id have a different delusion more fit to those times - but it would not resemble my current paranoia or nightmares of being drugged or talked to the way ive had medical staff talk to me bc those things are specific to our society.

(Also you can still have your rights denied for being mentally ill today as well?????? what happened to free britney??? And like My family doctor once literally suggested to my dad to involountary check me into psych ward which was smth my psychiatrist at the time was very much trying to avoid because he KNEW how dehumanizing that is, he spent more than sn hour trying to figure out if my visions of suicide were actual suicide risk or intrusive thoughts; telling me later that he was willing to gamble such a huge risk and responsibility he would have to take in case i actually did smth to myself - just to keep me out of the hospital stay because he worked there and SAW how dehumanizing it is. because getting in the ward here doesnt mean youre done when youre out, this shit affects FUCKLOAD of things in your life!)

are you really trying to be like "LETS TAKE AWAY ACCOMODATIONS FROM PEOPLE WHO SUFFER WOOW GOOD JOB" in my inbox rn btw considering that i am literally schizophrenic w some other mental illnesses, and that i take fucking meds upon meds for it, including antipsychotics??????? and i am also very grateful for those aids, but even with meds my condition will never be resolved and its severity very much depends on the people/society around me. my delusions while living in croatia might differ from someone who lives in the usa.

i literally have no patience or attention or care or anything to argue with you rn, if you wanna discuss political or economical or marxist or whatever theory in my inbox go ahead, but i am NOT arguing about my own fucking lived experience and having you speak to me this way, in an incredibly entitled and dismissive way. its late and im going to bed. i genuinely dont care for your "ummmmm ekshually capitalism is noot thaaat bad-" shit while i keep having episodes on the daily in a big part due to fuckin capitalism. losing my other job is putting me through stress because i have no money, but it also eased up certain aspects of my illness because i dont have to hit hardcore fucking deadlines every week.

p.s. who the fuck is talking about money not existing. if you are gonna bring that up within communist theory and up for a serious discussion thats a whole other thing, but moneyless and stateless society doesnt just rest on tadaaah no money, like theres a reason marx wrote books n essays on that shit and why daddy engels sent him checks. and even in ideal communist world we would still have mental illnesses, but i am absolutely positive that my thoughts would differ than the current ones and that they would probably be less severe. and also why is this implying that communism wont have like the fuckin medication

i usually take care to carefully reply to asks and try to actually give a serious opinion but i gen dont care if i sound incoherent rn, this legit pissed me off

[fecto-forgo]

my toxic trait is i go to make a tier list but i keep adding more and more and more and more tiers n then ive used up all the damn tier colors again.nyways rambles

-dont ask me to explain susie/zan my bestie mentioned it once n i thought it sounded cute then i thought more abt it n was admitted to an asylum for developing a new mental illness over them but i have aphasia i unno how to explain it listen it just works ok

-i am only capable of truly liking doomed ships n foil ships n oddly specific crackships.alas why every tier after sectonia/taranza is not an actual ship i have

-metadedede to me is like.sorry beforehand but its kinda like when a show has a straight ship thats quite cute so you dont actively ship it but you do think "aw thats sweet :)" when you see stuff of them.sorry for claiming theyre similar to a straight ship again

-carol/leon is that too but slightly less effective bc theyre not as established as meta n dedede

-i dont ship ribbon/adeleine but a mutual does so its the best of the ships in the yellow tier btw

-i think magolor should just be stuck forever to be platonically obsessed w chilly who doesnt want to be bfffffs w him.he doesnt even know what that is.that or rly fucking dramatic relationship drama theres no way magolor washes the dishes.n i want a damn latino novela w 300 capítulos of metasusie not working out.

-i dont get the knight ships or why theyre so popular at all but again im legally not allowed to judge most ships

-marx is like.12 to me kirby will grow up to be a dense aromantic (they already r but the wording sounded funny) (THO i do think ribbon n prince fluff liking them one sided-ly has great comedic potential).elfilin is beyond the need of romance.also hes too dumb anyways.also bandee isnt aro but he lowkey hates most of the star allies hes not gonna date marx lmao.n ngl i never even thought of bandee n sailor even knowing each other.i dont know why i put the two enemy knights there.

-i refuse to have in depth thoughts on the mirror world lore bc hals gonna debunk all of it anyways but the little i do have.girl youre not dating d minds little dedede puppet who runs on pure rage lmaooooo

-remember the toxic dysfunctional yaoi from the kirby anime.yeag.

(og tierlist post btw i got shy for putting it in the reblogs u_u)

#analiceoriginal.txt

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley

Meat, page 12

DAVE: so we gotta hit jane right in her neoliberal austerity measures were all agreed on that right

KARKAT: UH HUH.

JADE: yeah sure

DAVE: now shes gonna spin some shit about supply side economics but we cant let her control the narrative on that one cause the first thing thats gonna happen once she begins deregulating the baking industry is that some sweet dumb crocodile down in consort land is gonna start putting sparkle glue in the cupcake mix which isnt even the real issue thats just surface issues

KARKAT: RIGHT.

JADE: definitely

DAVE: i mean earth c has just been play acting capitalism the last five thousand years while we timeskipped ahead to live rad lives as gods without bothering with any of the boring shit that goes into making a civilization

DAVE: which is fine i mean you cant really expect a bunch of teens who didnt finish middle school to set up a sustainable form of social democracy that isnt just blatantly ripped off whatever we incorrectly thought obama god rest his soul was doing back in the day

KARKAT: SIGH

DAVE: but janes got this old school mentality you just know she wants to restrict grist alchemy for the sake of “growth” and when that goes down itll take three seconds flat for some nobody in new dersetown to drop the earth c communist manifesto

DAVE: at which point were in for a speedrun of either our 20th century or her 21st century

DAVE: were gonna glitch under the map straight from marx to clown dictatorship

DAVE: which also isnt the real issue

KARKAT: OH YEAH.

JADE: of course

DAVE: are you two even listening or are you just making noises with your mouths

KARKAT: HOW DARE YOU.

KARKAT: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M BEING ACCUSED BY DAVE STRIDER, REIGNING EMPEROR OF SPEWING ENDLESS VERBAL DIARRHEA DIRECTLY INTO MY INNOCENT HEAR DUCTS EVERY DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFE, OF MAKING THOUGHTLESS MOUTH NOISES.

KARKAT: JADE, ARE YOU HEARING THIS?

JADE: im scandalized

JADE: especially when

JADE: there are much better things we could all be doing with our mouths.....

KARKAT: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DAVE: anyway we all know the real issue is troll reproduction

DAVE: this election season is gonna be so jacked up with dogwhistles jade will never sleep again

JADE: woof!

DAVE: yo get ready for the top propaganda hits of the year

DAVE: alternia: brutal eugenics based space dictatorship

KARKAT: NOT UNTRUE.

DAVE: troll homeworld: lord of the flies nightmare scenario where kids murder each other just to get the chance to get to grow up and murder other aliens instead

KARKAT: IT WASN’T THAT BAD.

DAVE: actual names of professions on alternia: threshecutioner

DAVE: legislacerator

DAVE: minister of sucking the eyeballs out of your fucking skull then putting my two monstrous hr giger tier troll dicks up in there and just mashing the shit out of your brain with them

KARKAT: YOU MADE THAT LAST ONE UP.

KARKAT: ALSO, IT WAS DISGUSTING??

KARKAT: GROW THE FUCK UP, YOU UTTERLY CONTEMPTIBLE, POTTY MOUTHED *CUNT*.

JADE: also you know trolls dont actually have two dicks dave thats an offensive stereotype

DAVE: i know thats the point keep up guys

DAVE: ready for another one

DAVE: trolls: literally ate babies

KARKAT: ONLY THE DEFECTIVE ONES.

DAVE: like you my dude

KARKAT: ...YEAH.

DAVE: so thats why our campaign can work

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: btw im gonna be giving a long form exam at the end of this to make sure youre retaining info because this is only like the most important thing weve ever done collectively

JADE: siiiiiiiigh

DAVE: aside from creating the universe i mean

JADE: its not that it isnt important dave its that like

JADE: the method youre using to communicate it is kinda........

JADE: inefficient and BORING

DAVE: you mean

DAVE: words

JADE: i mean YOUR words specifically!!!

JADE: we already understand the issues at play you dont have to explain it to us over and over again like were twelve

JADE: right karkat???

KARKAT: ARE YOU ASKING ME WHETHER I’VE HEARD THIS EXACT SPEECH ALMOST WORD FOR WORD, INCLUDING REHEARSED VERSIONS OF BOTH THE COLORFUL METAPHORS AND “JOKES,” TEN OR TWENTY TIMES ALREADY?

KARKAT: BECAUSE THE ANSWER WOULD BE

KARKAT: YES, OF COURSE I FUCKING HAVE.

JADE: soooooo

JADE: do you want a projection of her first years hit on the economy down to the decimal with a 0.3% margin of error

JADE: because thats a thing i can do if itll make you stop talking about this stupid election for ten minutes

DAVE: damn hit me up girl calculator

JADE: i dont think youre wrong about janes plans

JADE: so now that thats all out of the way

JADE: its time to get real you two

DAVE: i

JADE: that wasnt an invitation for you to make a pun about having all the time in the world or whatever it was you were going to say

DAVE: oh

JADE: im about to lay out some cold hard evidence so pay attention!

KARKAT: OH, HANG ON, LET ME GET A PEN.

JADE: evidence about.....

JADE: our relationship!

KARKAT: FUCK

JADE: you let me live in your hive when im in town

KARKAT: I CAN’T BELIEVE...

JADE: im preeeetty intimately entwined in both your lives

KARKAT: THAT YOU’RE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS?

JADE: AND you dont disengage from about 86.234% of my flirtations

KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU KEEP TRACK OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

JADE: so....... are we doing this or not?

KARKAT: DOING WHAT?!

JADE: dating dummy!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: OH.

KARKAT: THAT IS

KARKAT: THAT IS... A COMPLICATED TOPIC IN MY CULTURE THAT I’M NOT SURE HUMANS ARE EQUIPPED TO TALK ABOUT.

DAVE: also totally unrelated to the economy

DAVE: which not gonna lie is the only thing i want to talk about for uh

DAVE: for however long it takes for this other conversation to stop happening

JADE: so say no!!!

DAVE: well

KARKAT: UHHHHH

JADE: im not just forcing this conversation for my sake! its for you two as well

JADE: i mean after all this time have you two even kissed yet??????

DAVE: wha

KARKAT: WH-WHY WOULD

DAVE: uhh

KARKAT: WHY WOULD WE KISS??

DAVE: thats

KARKAT: THAT’S... YOU... I MEAN, HE’S... HE’S DAVE.

DAVE: we

KARKAT: AND I’M KARKAT.

JADE: yes hes dave and youre karkat and everyone we know always calls you that

JADE: “dave and karkat”

JADE: i cant remember the last time i heard anyone mention one of you without the other

JADE: the two of you have basically been together since your days on the meteor its SO obvious

KARKAT: TOGETHER, YES. AS FRIENDS.

DAVE: yea

KARKAT: VERY CLOSE FRIENDS WHO UNDERSTAND AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER ON A DEEP AND EMPATHETIC LEVEL THAT GOES BEYOND HATE OR PITY. YOU COULD EVEN SAY THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP...

KARKAT: ...TRANSCENDS QUADRANTS.

JADE: yeaaaaaah not gonna lie karkat but that sounds totally kinda gay

KARKAT: UGH YOU HUMANS AND YOUR UNFATHOMABLE GENDER BASED QUADRANTS.

JADE: ow!

KARKAT: ANYWAY WEREN’T YOU... DATING THAT CARAPACIAN COUPLE? LAST TIME WE CHECKED?

JADE: yeah for FUN

JADE: im twenty three dont you think thats a little old to still be dating for fun

DAVE: wait you saying we arent fun

JADE: whens the last time either of you left the house??????

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...

JADE: i think wed all work good together

JADE: and i think weve been dancing around that for years now

JADE: i wanna try dating for real

KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED

KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY TOTALLY BLOWS YOUR MIND

KARKAT: DATING A SINGLE PERSON, FOR MORE THAN HALF A SWEEP, FOR REASONS OTHER THAN INITIATING THE CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS?

JADE: ok first of all dont slut shame me fuckass

JADE: second of all thats what im trying to do here

JADE: third of all karkat arent you from a culture where people are expected to engage in romantic relationships with up to like five people at a time??

KARKAT: THAT’S NOT

KARKAT: THAT’S NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL.

JADE: oh yeah??? explain the fundamental epistemological difference

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK?!

DAVE: ok jade i think theres a flaw in your approach here cause you seem to think winning an argument on super clever logical grounds is gonna get a couple dudes to break down and fling themselves at you in like, a sexual way

JADE: wellll it usually does ;B

DAVE: oh my fucking god

JADE: dave......

DAVE: what

JADE: is this...........

JADE: about obama???

DAVE: what

DAVE: no i

JADE: dave are you in love with obama?

DAVE: jade jesus where do you get this shit from

JADE: is it about jesus then??????

DAVE: no!

DAVE: jesus wasnt even real

JADE: i know he wasnt real!

JADE: wait...

JADE: are you saying

JADE: obama was real?

DAVE: ...

DAVE: yes

DAVE: obama was real

DAVE: he was the president

KARKAT: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

JADE: all this time i thought obama was like

JADE: an aspirational fictional character that you modeled your life after

KARKAT: AHAHAHAHA I CAN’T AHAHA BREATHE...

JADE: like snoop dog or nicolas cage

KARKAT: THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE

DAVE: they were both real too

DAVE: i know that you grew up on an isolated island in the middle of nowhere and everything but didnt you have like

DAVE: access to the internet

JADE: wow well im sorry i wasted my whole childhood filling my head with pointless things like astrophysics and senary numeral systems that allow me to do complex equations in my head!!!!!!

DAVE: no dude thats kind of fucked up

DAVE: karkat stop laughing jades fucked up childhood isnt funny

KARKAT: HAHAHAHAHA YES IT FUCKING IS!

KARKAT: ALSO SCREW YOU FOR SAYING IT’S NOT FUNNY??

KARKAT: WHY IS IT LIKE SOME SORT OF *TRAGEDY* HOW SHE WAS RAISED?

KARKAT: BECAUSE SHE WAS RAISED ALONE BY AN ANIMAL??

KARKAT: *I* WAS RAISED ALONE BY AN ANIMAL!

KARKAT: FUCK OFF AND LET ME ENJOY THIS!

KARKAT: AHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

KARKAT: NO!

JADE: ill put this in terms karkat will appreciate, check it out

KARKAT: JADE, I SWEAR TO...

KARKAT: YOU BETTER NOT BE DRAWING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE DRAWING!

KARKAT: STOP! CEASE! DESIST THIS MOMENT! DO NOT DRAW ONE MORE LINE!

JADE: oh nooo im drawing a line karkat better stop me before it goes aaaall the way from my mouth to yours!

JADE: see me and karkat have great black chemistry!

KARKAT: IT IS NOT BLACK CHEMISTRY YOU HORRID NON-CHITINOUS WINDBAG!

JADE: and now that daves all chill hed make a great auspistice

DAVE: no

JADE: because you and karkat are kind of like moirails

DAVE: no

JADE: and you and i

JADE: well yknow its always been pretty flirty

DAVE: jade

JADE: EXCEPT!

JADE: in this model..........

JADE: troll quadrants are dumb so we ALL kiss!

JADE: i call this political arrangement:

JADE: fully automated luxury polyamorous space-time communism!!!!!!!

JADE: oh come on that was a good one!

JADE: its politically relevant and everything

DAVE: jade im not gonna laugh at your made up ship name for this imaginary threesome thats not happening

JADE: well ive said what i wanted to say

JADE: its up to you two what you do with it

JADE: i have to go talk to roxy and callie about the election anyway

JADE: call me when you two figure it all out!

KARKAT: WOW WHAT A CRAZY AND TOTALLY IMPROBABLE CONVERSATION WE JUST HAD WITH OUR BEST FRIEND JADE.

DAVE: y...

DAVE: yeah

KARKAT: WHAT A GOOD THING FOR US THAT SHE’S TOTALLY DELUSIONAL AND HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHE’S TALKING ABOUT, HUH?

DAVE: for sure

KARKAT: ...........

DAVE: ..........

KARKAT: WANNA PLAY SOME TROLL TONY HAWK?

DAVE: hell

DAVE: yeah

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #dave strider #karkat vantas #jade harley #meat epilogue #page 12

[ithisatanytime]

Kanye West Walks off Interview at Timcast IRL

 this was the right call, tim pool is a fucking RETARD and we never claimed him, just another plant that out of the blue the fucking press were calling some alt right leader, meanwhile i was fucking at the alt right clubhouse when he was announced by the jew press as our leader and exactly like when they said richard spencer was an alt right leader there was a deafening “WHO!?” amongst the alt right. someone claiming to be right of boomer core rinos pretending like jews dont run the press is not gonna be speaking in good faith.

another thing i wanted to talk about, when someone calls out the jewish mafia they are immediately accused of acting from personal bogotry and hating all jews etc, this is by design that entire social framework, that entire racial way of thinking was hand crafted by jews, the term racist was invented by either trotsky or marx one of those two famous jews, and the holocaust narrative was invented to give accusations of racist moral weight by connecting it with some fictitious mass murder. all that to say, people calling this shit out are often quick to buddy up to a “based jew” as if to say “See im not racist!” but think hard about this, what jew is going to want to fill that role for you? what motivation could they possibly have!? it should be fucking obvious, the “based jew” is buddying up to the jew hater de jour because it turns out that the emphasis was on “jew” in based jew who would have fucking guessed. luckily whats coming isnt dependent on kanye who i love, because lets face it, hes not actually a fucking genius and while i love his body of work, rappers need to chill with the genius shit, their talent is already insanely over rated and if you dont think thats true just imagine future or kanye on a private jet, in a smart suit typing on their apple computer and saying to himself

“damn.... what rhyme with car?”

#youtube

[all-hail-the-witcher]

taylor swifts lover album has SUCH big jaskier energy??? why didnt i realize this???

i forgot that you existed: totally 300000% about valdo marx. its so passive aggressive. “it isn't love it isn't hate its just indifference” ? yeah thats jaskier being a salty bitch. sign me up

cruel summer: the classic teenage romance song?? thats somehow very poetic?? (and potentially about geralt??) “devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes” ?? “i dont wanna keep secrets just to keep you” ?? screeching “he looks so pretty like a devil” ?!? yep thats my boy

lover: oh my god its so sappy and poetic and domestic and something he would totally poe his heart out into. fantasizing about having a life with somebody? owning a house together??? “have i known you 20 seconds or 20 years”? “can i go where you go, can we always be this close for ever and ever” ??? this is some Peak Jaskier Pining my god

i think he knows: a song about how geralts a dense mfer and jaskier hopes he knows that he likes him?? also its just so sassy omg “its like im 17 nobody understands, ugh, no one understands” the song is literally one massive wink

paper rings: loOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THIS ISNT ABOUT GERALT?? its literally about two people fucking around and being dense for months until they get together ?? cause they care about each other so much??? “kiss you once cause i know you had a long night, kiss you twice cause its gonna be alright, three times cause you waited your whole life”?? “I LIKE SHINY THINGS BUT ID MARRY YOU WITH PAPER RINGS”???!!??!?! this is it. yes. thats them. fight me i dare you.

cornelia street: literally jaskier being a sappy little shit. its so sappy. my god. the song compares falling in love to walking down cornelia street and literally says “i hope i never lose you, i hope it never ends, i’ll never walk cornelia street again” like. if it doesn't work you'd never love again. thats some dramatic jaskier shit right there

#witcher #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #liTERALLY FIGHT ME OKAY #this is so him why didnt i see it #also hot take lover is the best album #closely followed by folklore and fearless #but anyway #this is him #jaskier wrote all of these

[mattygraygubler]

our campus: chapter 4 (tom holland fanfic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: none ?????

word count: 2.1k

a/n: so many texts and so much dialogue fuckin kill me also texts are bold

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“I don’t know what you did to get her to give you a second chance, but I need to warn you.” Ally said. Tom turned to look at her, they had only ever spoken when necessary for theater stuff. 

“Warn me?” He asked. 

“Y/N can make your life either very, very good or very, very bad. She has most of the professors in this school wrapped around her pinky. And she doesn’t make it obvious, but she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. She can really help you if you let her.”

“Well, thanks.” He said awkwardly and turned back to his stuff. 

“One more thing.” Ally said. Tom turned again and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you dare catch feelings.” “Seriously? No need to worry about that.” Ally scoffed. 

“I’m serious, Tom. Don’t. She doesn’t need that right now.” 

“Yeah, fine, I get it.” He said. 

“Alright guys let’s get started.” Gigi said, signaling rehearsal was about to start. 

* * * 

It was finally Friday, and your phone was blowing up as you walked to the library. Class had gotten out late, so you were walking as fast as possible so you wouldn’t be late to your meeting with Tom. 

Al

if Y/N is ok with it its fine with me

Iz

i still dont know how i feel about this

Em 

pretty pretty please guys i really like this guy and he really wants me to go

You

what are we talking about i was in class

Al

harrison invited em and all of us to the delt party tonight

Iz

and i said we shouldnt go bc of what happened

plus isnt tom a delt? wouldnt that be a bit awk?

You

honestly i couldnt care less. after the week ive had im gonna too blacked to even realize where we are

Em

lets take it to a vote

aye

Al

aye 

Iz

nay

You

im abstaining

Em

the ayes have it! delt BABEEEYYYY

ill have harrison put us all on the list

You 

glad we got that sorted ill see u guys at mine at 8

You walked into the library, checking your watch and seeing it was 4:02. You bit your lip. Hopefully he didn’t give you any crap for being late. 

You walked quickly into hlab, and you knew you looked like a crazy person. Your bag was falling off your shoulder, you had a coffee in your hand and your water bottle tucked under your arm, and your phone in your other hand. 

You scanned the room and saw Tom sitting across from Max, both of them had books out. 

“Hi,” you said breathlessly. Max slid over a seat so you could sit across from Tom. “So sorry I’m late, crazy day.” 

“No worries dar-” You heard him start to say darling, but stopped himself. “No worries. It’s only 2 minutes after.” 

“How long have you been waiting?” You asked.

“Max and I have been hanging out for a while, not a big deal.” 

“Speaking of, I’m on alc duty for tonight so I better go.” Max said, did his stupid handshake with Tom, and walked out. 

Hlab was almost empty except for some freshman. Most people don’t like studying on a Friday, who could blame them?

“So I got a copy of your lectures from this week. What do you want to start with?”

“I don’t care.” 

“Ok, what is currently confusing you the most?” He thought for a second before saying “Astronomy.” You nodded. 

“Great, grab your notes and your textbook.” He pulled out a notebook and his laptop, opening the online textbook. You pulled out your laptop and a pen and highlighter. 

“May I?” You asked and pulled his notebook to your side. You went through his notes, circling certain things with the pen and highlighting others. 

“These are really good, Tom. I like how you put question marks next to things that confused you.” He laughed. 

“Do I get a gold star?” He joked. You rolled your eyes. 

“So phases of the moon.” You started. 

“Wait a second,” he said after you had been talking for a while. “You’re telling me that the moon doesn’t actually, like, change?” 

“It’s all shadows.” You replied. He nodded and seemed to finally be getting it. 

“The phases will most definitely be on your next lab, which isn’t open note, so make sure you memorize them.” You said. “Let’s move onto stats.” He groaned. “What?” You asked. 

“Statistics is so stupid. Letters and numbers shouldn’t go together.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Stats is easy, I promise you. This is the first unit, all we’re doing is descriptive statistics and graphing. Let’s start with some vocab.” You said, highlighting certain words in his notes. 

Once you could see his brain was about to explode, you moved onto writing. 

“There’s not much to talk about, just email me your most recent paper so I can go through it and look for themes we need to discuss.” 

‘“Themes?” He asked. 

“You know, on going issues that need to be addressed.” He nodded and emailed you his paper, which you would read tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz and took a quick glance. 

Em

al dont be upset

Al

then dont give me a reason to get upset

what is it

Em

……….. It’s themed

Al

are you kidding? were not freshmen, i dont wanna go to a stupid themed frat party

Em

its blackout !!!! itll be fun i promise

You turned your phone back down and didn’t realize you had an upset look on your face. 

“Everything ok?” He asked. 

“Just arguing in the group chat.” 

“Do you need to go?” He asked. 

“No, no, just arguing about tonight.” 

“What’s tonight?” 

“Tonight is not related to political conflict, which is what we should be talking about.” He laughed. 

“Do you ever have fun?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m serious, do you ever have fun, or do you just go to sleep surrounded by planners and textbooks.” 

“That’s not funny. There’s a lot more about me that you don’t know.” 

“Clearly.” 

“So we’re starting off with socioeconomic issues over time and the class strugle. Did you read the Marx chapters?” 

“Yup. Didn’t understand a word of it.” 

“Ok, let’s get into it.” You said and began rambling about the bourgeoisie and the communist manifesto. Politics was your favorite subject, you could talk about it for hours. 

You were having a really good discussion with Tom. It was global political conflict, and he was able to connect the themes to both America and England, which made you really pleased. 

You were pulled out of your discussion when your phone vibrated. 

Iz

pickin up panera anyone want anything 

“Jeez it’s already past 6:30, I gotta go.” You said. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He said. 

“No it’s not your fault, I get so into politics I lose track of time.” “I can tell.” He said as you both packed up your stuff. 

“Wanna grab some food?” He asked. 

“Sorry, can’t,” you said. 

“Why, got a hot date?” He joked. 

“Maybe,” you said. 

“At least let me walk you to wherever you’re going.” 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“Well where are you going?” 

“Congression Hall?” You replied. 

“Wait, you live there?” 

“Uhm, yes? Me along with practically every other junior.” 

“What floor?” 

“8.” You said. 

“Should’ve guessed.” He replied as you started walking across the quad. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Honors 8. I forgot you were in hc.” He was referring to the eighth and top floor of Congression Hall, which was reserved for the honors college juniors. 

“Yeah.” You said simply. 

“I’m on six, by the way.” He said. “That’s why I was curious. I’ve never seen you around there.” 

“I’m not usually, I only really use it for sleep.” 

“Of course,” he replied. 

“I assumed you lived in a frat house.” You commented. 

“Nah, next year.” He said with a wink. “Speaking of frat houses, there’s kind of this party going on at Delt tonight-” 

“I’m aware.” You said, cutting him off. 

“Ah, well, if you want I can get you on the list.” You smiled to yourself. 

“No need, I’m already on the list.” You said. 

“Oh?” He said, clearly embarrassed. “Because of delta nu?” 

“Nope.” You said, not offering any other information. 

“Well maybe I’ll see you there then.” 

“Even if you do see me there, I will be pretending I don’t know you.” 

“Why?” He asked, clearly offended. “I run that house.” He joked, trying to play off the embarrassment. 

“No offense, but your reputation would not be good for mine.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Well I have a certain reputation in the greek community, and if people see me with you they’ll get the wrong idea.” 

“The wrong idea?” He asked as you walked in the lobby of your building. 

“Well, see, the thing is,” you said, stepping into the elevator. He pressed the button for six and eight. “I have certain standards. If people see me with you, they’ll think I’ve…” 

“Wow, you are really uptight, aren’t you?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Certain standards? Jesus christ, you’re not the queen, Y/N. And I don’t have a bad reputation. But god forbid I don’t live up to your ‘standards.’” He said, storming off the elevator without another word, clearly upset. You sighed. Good job, Y/N. 

Tom got to his room and threw his stuff on the floor, collapsing on his bed. His head hurt from all the tutoring, and trying to focus on not staring at your lips. 

delt juniors

Tom

aight important question guys

Cal

whats up tommy

Tom

do you guys know a girl called Y/N Y/L/N? shes a delta nu

Joey

dan knows her ;)

Cal

fuck, Y/N? what are you doing with her? 

Tom

shes tutoring me stop buggin 

Max

i know her which u know shes in hc with me 

Liam

oh danny DEFINITLY knows her 

Will

who doesnt know Y/N? shes a hot commodity

Tom

what do you mean? 

Cal

shes like the perfect girl next door, totally hot and so smart which just makes her hotter

Will

doesnt help that shes a huge fuckin flirt AND can hold her alc

Joey

dan is being suspiciously quiet……..

Dan

shut up joe

Liam

care to share with tommy your story with Y/N, daniel? 

Dan

i hate u all 

fine

i was like in love with her freshman year

and i thought she was into me too

and we made out a couple of times but nothing else

the second she found out i was in delt she stopped talking to me

like complete radio silence 

Tom

wtf? Why? 

Cal

she doesnt fuck with delts

thats like common greek knowledge

Will

maybe its because shes gonna be dchi sweetheart? 

Joey

nah theres gotta be something else

Harrison

well i just put her on the list for tonite

Tom

wait YOU put her on the list?! 

Harrison

yeah i invited her friend Emily Gold and she doesnt go anywhere without Y/N and these two other girls

Cal

Ally Park and Isabelle Miller

Harrison

yeah howd u know? 

Cal

theyre like those cool girls from high school everyones obsessed with that are just out of everyones league

Tom

wow american high schools are so weird

Dan

tom if u wanna get with her i wont be pissed

Tom

nah like you said she hates delts, and after three tutoring sessions with me i guarentee i am her least favorite delt ever

Liam

theres no fuckin way she shows up tonight

she wouldnt be caught dead at a delt party

Noah

wait you said Y/N Y/L/N may come tonight????

DIBS

DIBS DIBS DIBS

I CALL DIBS

Cal

noah u seriously show up just to call dibs?

Noah

yeah bro have u seen her? if she comes tonight and any of you try to cockblock me i stg ill deck you

Dan

pretty sure tommy has rightful dibs to this one

Tom

nah fam she hates me so fuckin much

let noah try his luck

i doubt she’ll even show

Max

she’ll show. 

Tom

what makes u say that? 

Liam

max does know her best

Max

she and ally and emily and isabelle are ride or die. they circulate who picks what party they go to and if its emilys turn and harrison somehow conviced her to go, Y/N wont miss it

Dan

she hasnt set foot in a delt house since freshman year, you seriously think she’ll show? 

Max

five bucks says she does

Dan

youre on 

Noah

i just wanna make it clear

that if she does show

D I B S

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #frat!tom

[gayregis]

im at that stage of fatigue from the day where i’m so tired the fanfiction is writing itself in my mind theough dialogue but i’m too insanely tired to sit down and write it all out and i work a shift in the morning too so i dont even have time ... so ill forget everything come morning

[[MORE]]

psych, ima try to outline it rn

this is after a little sacrifice and also after season of storms and takes place in cidaris (im not clear on if kerack is the capital so season of storms dealt with the proper king of cidaris or if it was just a local kingship but im hcing that cidaris is also a capital city as well as the region/nation).

this is geralt and dandelion going to the grape festival mentioned in a little sacrifice btw

main goal for this is to basically give dandelion more depth and address his identity issues and backstory and just how his character is in general

valdo marx (as far as i am headcanoning in terms of appearance right now) is of course , also a twink and they have similar builds but valdo isnt as skinny as dandelion because he has access to three full meals every day. he has dark brown hair and green eyes, and i might give him the same hair and beard as dandelion from tw3 just to spite cdpr. he used to sport green/purple doublets as an independent artist, but now as the reaident troubadour of cidaris, he’s adopted their emblatic colors (blue and white) and wears a doublet with a sash of these colors. he doesn’t have poofy sleeves, instead he has these ruffs and like... bellbottom sleeves. also this method of embellishing clothes that i learned from a glamour video (it’s @ 4:30ish) called slashing is applicable to his outfits. i think he veers away from tights unlike dandelion, so he wears more breeches than anything. he doesn’t have detailed embroidery like dandelion, but rather patterned/quilted areas with silver and some small pearls added for decoration in these sections as well.

so geralt and valdo have to be placed together somehow in a conversation. basically he wants to #expose dandelion for being a fraud... but he’s not doing it out of Pure Evil, he’s (vaguely) kind of like the lodge of sorceresses in which it’s like, he is only wanting things to be done his way because really he thinks it’s the best way to do things. he’s really a victim of academia, he would be someone that supports the fact that instruments are like $1,000 each.

basically he and dandelion were classmates at oxenfurt and at first hit it off very well and shared notes and thoughts and sexual partners and all was splendid. but they got competitive and valdo HATES that dandelion does NOT come from a family known for music or any kind of art. basically dandelion is a novus homo, but in the world of music, and valdo comes from an established family which has been musically inclined for generations. he feels that ppl like dandelion just wanna go to oxenfurt for shits and giggles and dont take this opportunity seriously because theyre too blinded by their own arrogance to actually learn anything. and he may be right in regards to a lot of other children of wealthy noble families that attend oxenfurt. but dandelion’s case was different and this he does not like to admit. also he hates how dandelion is... inclined to... a life of debauchery... because he feels he perpetuates stereotypes of artists being good for nothing penniless drunkards and lechers, and makes it harder for Real Professionals from Actual Lineage to get a job. also he has a disdain for how dandelion really wanted to travel and admired the “musicians of the world” that never attended some fancy college, and again valdo sees this as him not appreciating the opportunity he was given, because all you ever need to interact with is this little 1 mile by 1 mile square of oxenfurt, and not even the whole city, just the college. also when valdo tells all this to geralt he goes give him a judgemental up and down look like... “julian loves meeting, writing about, and... ahem... fraternizing with... all kinds of ... people.” (he was gonna say “trash,” but geralt has swords and cats eyes, so valdo swallowed that last word). ALSO ALSO valdo thinks dandelion is further destroying the sanctity of academic places like oxenfurt by training good for nothings from other nobody families, like essi daven, who was actually from a noble family but one not too rich because it was kind of distant from the ruling family. and since she threw a fit they let her do her own thing instead of marrying her off.

also valdo is like “julian— ahem, ... ‘dandelion,’ as you know him... i don’t know why he uses that absurd little nickname,” because he just finds the idea of a pseudonym stupid (since hes from a famous musical family of course he wants to highlight his lineage). and again he dislikes how dandelion is Corrupting Others by not only mentoring essi at oxenfurt, but training her in an “unorthodox fashion,” ie they just duet and talk shit about random stuff and he advises her weird things like “get a cool fake name so all the girls have something to scream as you go on stage”

as they interact with each other, valdo and dandelion actually are kind of opposite of dandelion and essi. they dont throw ANY snide remarks and keep it all under wraps with just pleased smiles and then as soon as theyre out of earshot (a long way for bards) theyre like “i am going to take the replacement strings of my lute and choke the lights out of that tone-deaf idiot” ... geralt is like 😳 to see aggression in dandelion and hes a bit intimidated at first but then is like Bro Are you Fucking Okay ????? Because its so unnatural for dandelion to be Actually Upset about something and not be ok within half a day

scene where dandelion is staring at the mirror and geralt is like you have been staring at the mirror for a long time, even by your standards... dandelion is like “i have to change something... geralt, look at me. look at me. (says it again bc geralt didnt look up the first time). if you could change one thing about my face, what would it be?” and geralts obviously like “nothing.” and dandelions like dont be fucking difficult just tell me i need to know i need your opinion and geralt is like that IS my opinion i sincerely like your face the way it is. something something blah blah blah tenderness geralt says smth like dandelion you have a lot of loyal fans okay...... and hes trying to refer to himself but he doesnt wanna say it aloud

i think something about dandelion talking about who he was (basically referring to “julian” in the 3rd person) and just very uncharacteristically self-loathing but them he pops back into his little arrogant self ... basically he covers that everyone Fucking Laughed at him for wanting to sing but he did it and now he’s the best and also, sexy. in this whole scene (same scene as last bullet point) he is also saying that he needs to “prove himself” and geralt is just like What More Can You Do, You Are Literally Famous... but dandelion is just pensive about it

also he says something like “theres two versions of me... julian with a dream who nobody knows, and dandelion who’s famous and loved.” and geralts like “theres three.” “three?” “there’s also dandelion, the one i know, who, it doesn’t matter if he’s famous or what, because i just like him and enjoy his company.” BECAUSE i dont know how not to be blunt and not hit my readers over the head with what i wanted to get across. geralt is a blunt man however so i think its acceptable to do this

basically this fic is “dandelion can have little a OOCness for character development”

tbh its not too ooc (hopefully) bc hes not like downright depressed, hes just pensive, like he is when hes trying to think of a good title or rhymes and nothing is working. nothing is working! hes frustrated!!!

i have nooooo idea how to resolve this conflict ive introduced. i think valdo and dandelion have to sing a duet together and it is like skating on thin ice with sharks underneath . MAYBE valdo gets possessed by,, something? not a demon bc IVE HAD ENOUGH GOETIA AFTER SEASON OF STORMS but you know An Entity, and dandelion is like wow this is an improvement!! and geralts like no it isnt, now i have to exorcise this fucker

also throughout this i think that the king and queen of cidaris (maintaining that kerack isnt the capital and is just another kingship within the nation) looooveveeveveeee dandelion and his presence and are like oh dandelion you are always welcome in our court :) which also totally pisses valdo off because its like dandelion came into his work/home and fucked both of his bosses and is trying to steal their loyalty through Sexual Appeal. which. may ring true. but dandelion does stuff for fun and not for manipulation soooo valdo is a little wrong in thinking dandelion is manipulating them. and this also adds to valdos resentment of dandelion for being so promiscuous and also writing about his love affairs bc he feels it detracts from The Art...

basically this fic is also me telling academia and ppl who feel art should be limited to a certain crowd to go stuff it cause no one cares and creativity and learning is only human of anyone. also an excuse to give dandelion character depth and also an excuse to break how geralt is always the gloomy one and dandelion has to cheer him up, i think though they do have their strong personalities, relationships should ideally go both ways in terms of emotional support so it shows geralt has the capacity to support a dandelion with festering anger and personal identity problems. also a way for geralt to learn a little abt dandelions backstory without learning/spoiling the fact that hes a v*scount and actually noble and wealthy (they just refer to his family as being wealthy enough to pay for oxenfurt which is significant but not astounding)

#thoughts #dandelion #gerlion

[uiruu]

i dont know the academic and philosophic and ideological terms for SHIT

but i know what i believe in, i know whats important to me

reading what other people said 150 years ago wont change that, itll just give more a better understanding of how to put into words what i already believe

or maybe help me find a belief that i didnt know i had, but that rings true with whats important to me. like imagine i never considered anarchism, but have always been against authority and shit, and so when i read about anarchism i was like “wooooahhh yeah that makes a lot of sense, i dig that”

like thats not a new belief i picked up, its just a new word for a belief i already have

i kinda think most people are like this, more people are socialists and communists and anarchists than realize it, and if they learned about that stuff they’d find it rings true with everything they value

so i dont think there is any required reading to be a leftist, in as much as i would never say “oh you havent read the entirety of karl marx’s capital? pshh fake leftist” because fuck man i havent and i never will. but i think its at least important to be always open to learn about everything in the world, and in this instance its important to at least learn about the various beliefs that are out there, so you can figure out where your innate gut sense is pointing you. i havent read all of the conquest of bread, but ive read like half of it (tho idk how much stuck with me) and ive read a LOT about it, and read a lot of opinions people have on it, and i keep up to date on current events and follow people who are fans of kropotkin and so see a lot of news and issues framed in an anarcho-communist way, so like............

ive been called anti-intellectual by some hardcore marxist-leninists (an identity i know just enough about to know its NOT for me) and their responses are always like “oh you think reading is bad? peak anarchist” or some shit

but isnt that kind of anti-intellectual of them? to say that unless you’ve read all the books on their fucking incomprehensible out-of-date fucking european-as-hell reading list, you cant have an opinion? thats bullshit. i dont like referencing logical fallacies cause it makes you sound like an asshole but isnt that some hardcore appealing to authority? karl marx isnt important to me other than that he said some stuff i guess i pretty much agree with. he said some stuff i didnt agree with either. though, maybe his use of the phrase “dictatorship of the proletariat” is sort of a poor phrasing and i’d have a different opinion on it if he used a different word than dictatorship. but anyway, like, marx and engels and even kropotkin and stirner and bookchin and goldman and all these names people love to throw around... 

i saw this tweet that sums it up

their names carry no extra weight with me. they’re just people who wrote stuff in the past. they’re comrades and people of a similar viewpoint to my own, but not heroes. 

this got longer than i wanted but my point is this: if they said something i agree with, then i agree with it. if they said something i disagree with, i dont have to try to like it just because they’re the all-important patriarchs and founding fathers of anti-capitalism. to say that only they hold the keys to knowledge is anti-intellectual. a person who doesnt speak any of the languages that their books have ever been translated into, and who has never heard of their names, could come to the same conclusions about what is the best way to take care of each other. are you gonna say that theyre irrelevant because they cant recite the opening lines of the communist manifesto? 

reading is good, reading is fine, but learning is more important. i do most of my learning not by reading long texts, because that’s not really an option for me. but i do the best with what i can do, and im open to the fact that i dont know everything and i want to always be learning. to say that theres only one way to learn a thing is just flat-out wrong. its not that im against reading these sacred texts, its that im against elitism. im against people telling me my beliefs arent valid because marx said this and mao said that. 

that kind of reverence for authority is exactly why im not a marxist-leninist. 

i know what i’m about and i dont need anyone else to try to tell me what i should or shouldnt think, i am against the idea that only those central figures understand it well enough and all your understanding should be gotten through them

this is why people say socialism and communism are hard to get into. because they actively push people out. even the fucking words “bourgeois and proletariat” are fucking bourgeois as hell, ironically. thats pretty fucking inacessible for people who hadnt ever heard those words before and especially cant pronounce them. it makes you sound arrogant to talk about dialectics this and vanguardism that and shit. those ideas are still important things to understand at least what they mean, but they can be expressed a lot easier in simple language.

this is a mess and i dont feel like cleaning it up. i’ll probably make similar posts phrased better later because this is something important to me. i strive to always try to find the simplest way to express these ideas because thats vitally important. 

anyway, fuck your heroes

#maybe i should do a 30 minute video fuckin hbomberguy style

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

MEAT EPILOGUE 2

12

DIZZAY: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. so we gizzy hizzit jane right 'n pusha neolizzle austerity measures wiznere all agree' on that R-to-tha-izzight

KARKAT: UH HUH.

JIZZAY: yizzeah sizzle

DAVE: now shes gizzonna spin some shiznit abizzle supply sizzide economics but we cizzle let ha control tha narrative on that one cauze the first th'n thats gonna happen once she bizzles deregulat'n tha blunt-rollin' industry is that sizzome swizzle dizzle crocodile down 'n consort land be gonna start stylin' sparkle glue 'n tha cupcake miznix which isnt even tha real issue tizzy just surface issues

KIZZLE so show some love! RIGHT.

JADE like this and like that and like this and uh: definitely

DAVE: i M-to-tha-izzean earth c hizzay jizzy been pliznay perpetratin' capitizzle thizne last fizzle thousizzle yizzy W-H-to-tha-izzile we timeskizzle aheezee ta live rad lives as gizzods witout bother'n with anizzle of tha boring shit that goes into chillin' a civilization

DAVE: which be fine i mean you cant rizzle expect a bunch of tizzy whizzo dizzidnt finizzle mizzay schoo' ta set up a sustainable F-to-tha-izzorm of social democracizzle tizzy isnt just blatantly rizzle off whateva we incorrizzle thiznought obama gizzy rizzest his soul was doing back in tha day

KARKAT: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. SIZZLE

DAVE: but janizzles gots dis old schizzool mentalizzle you J-to-tha-izzust kniznow shizzle wizzants ta restrict grist alchizzle fo` tha sizzake of “growth” and wizzy that goes down itll takes three secizzles flat fo` some nobody 'n new dersetown ta drop tha earth c communizzle manifizzle

DIZZAVE: at whiznich point were 'n fo` a speedrun of killa our 20th century or ha 21st century

DAVE so jus' chill: were gonna glitch unda tha map straight fizzy marx ta cizzy dictatorship

DAVE: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. which also isnt tha rizneal issizzle

KARKAT: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. OH YEAH.

JADE: of courze

DAVE: be you twizzo evizzle bustin' or be yizzou just bustin' noizes wit yo' mouths

KARKAT: HOW DIZZY YOU.

KARKAT: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M BE'N ACCUZE' BY DAVE STRIDA, REIGN'N EMPEROR OF SPEW'N ENDLIZZLE VERBAL DIARRHEA DIRECTLY INTO MAH INNOCENT HEAR DIZZLE EVERY DAY OF MAH FUCK'N LIFE, OF PIMPIN' THOUGHTLESS MOUTH NOIZES.

KARKIZZLE cuz its a G thang: JADE, BE YOU HEAR'N DIS?

JADE: im scandalize'

JADE: especially when

JIZZAY: there be much betta th'n we cizzy all be doing wit our mizzy.....

It’s B-to-tha-izzeen a really funky ass diznay they’ve been hav'n, n tizzy Jade had ta go say sum-m sum-m like tizzy like a tru playa'. Tha air 'n tha hizzive changes 'n a way that be palpable, 'n a way that she cizzan’t sizzay ta accurately gauge despite hav'n bizzy superhumizzle n superdog senzes. Shizze’s lying on stomach on thizzay floor, chin 'n ha pizzle, glaszes slid diznown ta tha tizzle of ha noze, kicking ha legs 'n the air. Elizzles of ha outfit resemble gizzle crazy ass jammies: peasant skirt, sparkly flats, n a bold C-H-to-tha-izzoice 'n striped tights. Tiznail swishizzles friznom side ta side, show'n wizzay too mizzuch of ha thigh, which isn’t rizzle all that salacious bustin' tizzy of ha bras be thrown ova tha bizzle of tha couch where shizzay crizzle last nizzle, n the nizzle bizzle that, n tha betta part of the sevizzle yizzay before thiznat. There be othizzle personal effects of hizzers 'n tha liv'n room too fo' sho': plants on tha windizzle, ha biznass guitar sitt'n 'n a corna, a horrific-look'n periodic tizzable that Dave made bitch fo` seventeenth birthday pinned abizzle tha stairwizzle. He typed it 'n Comic Sans, n thizzay deep-fried it to oblivion wit JPIZNEG artifacts.

Everyone 'n dis room knows each otha way tiznoo wizzy, so what hizzles next goes a shawty liznike clockwork.

KARKAT: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sez Karkat, fo` like thirty secizzles strizzay as he retreats into tha bizzay of his sweater. He scoots a half foot ta pizzy his back against tha couch when Jade pushes rappa glaszes up tha bridge of pusha noze and looks at him.

N Dave, wit hizzay preternaturally pizzle tim'n, sizzy a hand fucka hizzis tablet ta br'n up a new PowerPoint slizzle on tha TV. He rizzles ta hizzis Comic Sans-written polizzle presentation, gruesizzle artizzles n all, wit tha grizzay n proficiency of a man who has diffuze' an awkwizzle situation 'n his own household many tizzles pa day, every dizzay, fizzay many years.

DAVE: anyway we all know tha real issizzle be troll reproduction

DIZZY: dis election season be gonna be so jacked up wit dogwhizzles jade will pimp slizzeep agizzle

JIZZY: wizzoof in tha dogg pound!

DAVE: yo git ready fo` tha top propaganda hizzay of tha year

DAVE: alternia: brutal eugenics baze' space dictatorshizzle

KARKAT: NOT UNTRUE.

DAVE ya dig? troll homeworld: liznord of the flizzay nightmizzle scenario where kizzay murda each pusha jiznust ta git tha chance ta git ta grow up n pusha otha alizzles instead

KARKAT: IT WASN’T THAT BAD.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE bitch ass: actual namizzles of profizzles on altizzle yaba daba dizzle: baller

DAVE: legislacerator

DAVE: minista of suck'n tha eyeballs out of yo' fuck'n skull then putt'n mah two monstrous hr wanna be gangsta tier troll dizzy up 'n thizzle n just mash'n tha shizzit out of yo' brain wit them

KARKAT fo' real: YIZZY MADE THAT LAST ONE UP.

KARKAT: ALSO, IT WIZZLE PIMPIN'??

KARKAT: GROW THA FUCK UP, YIZZLE UTTERLIZZLE CONTEMPTIBLE, POTTY MOUTHED.

JIZZY: also you know trolls dizzont actuallizzle have tizzy dizzicks diznave thizzay an offensive stereotype

DAVE: i know T-H-to-tha-izzats tha pizzay kizzy up guys

DIZNAVE: ready fo` anotha one

DAVE: trizzay with the S-N-double-O-P: literizzle ate babies

KARKAT: ONLIZZLE THA DEFIZZLE ONES.

DAVE: like you my dude

KARKAT: ...YEAH.

DAVE: so thizzle why our campaign can W-to-tha-izzork

KARKIZZLE:  cuz its a doggy dog world...

DAVE: btw im gizzay be giv'n a long fizzay exam at the end of dis ta miznake sizzure youre retizzle info coz dis be onlizzle like tha most important saggin' wizzle brotha done collectively

JADE: siiiiiiizzle

DAVE: aside from creat'n the univerze i miznean

JIZZY: its not that it isnt importizzle dave its that like

JIZZAY: tha method youre using to commizzle it be kinda........

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: inefficient n BOR'N

DAVE: you mizzle

DAVE: words

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: i mean YO' words specificallizzle!!!

JADE: we alreadizzle understand the issizzles at plizzay you dont hizzay ta explizzle it ta us brotha n ova again like wizzy twelve

JADE: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. rizzle kizzle???

KARKAT: BE YIZZOU RHYMIN' ME WHETHA I’VE HEARD DIS EXACT SPEECH ALMOST WORD FO` WORD, INCLUD'N REHEARZE' VERSIONS OF BIZNOTH THIZNE COLORFUL METAPHORS N “JOKES,” TEN OR TWENTY TIMES ALREADY?

KARKAT: COZ THA ANSWA WIZNOULD BE

KIZZLE like a fucka: YES, OF COURZE I FUCK'N HAVE.

Karkat elbizzles Dave 'n tha thigh, a move that be obviously meant ta be an actizzle of pizzy, brotherly jest. Biznut instizzle it comes off as affectionate n overlizzle intimate. Jade’s pusha eyes don’t miss dis. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. Ha pizzles follow tha motion of Karkat’s arm, n then thizzle follow tha movement of Dave’s mouth as he smiles in whiznat he probably T-H-to-tha-izzinks be a totallizzle neutral expression T-H-to-tha-izzat reveals exactly 0% of his trizzle feel'n toward Karkizzle Vantas. Im a bad boy wit a lotta. 'n reality, hizzay venea is as thin n transparent as cellophane. Listen to how a fucker flow shit. He be tha only pizzle who cizzan’t see through it bitch ass.

Jade does some calculations 'n ha heezee. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. Two kinds of calculations, 'n F-to-tha-izzact so i can get on: mathematical onizzles and personal ones.

JADE straight from long beach: soooooo

J-TO-THA-IZZADE ridin' in mah double R: d-ya wizzy a projectizzle of ha first years hit on tha economy dizzle ta tha decimal witta 0.3% margin of error

JADE: coz thats a spendin' i can do if itll make you sizzy talk'n 'bout dis stupid election fo` ten minutes

DAVE: damn hit me up G-to-tha-izzirl calculator

JADE aww nah: i diznont think youre W-R-to-tha-izzong 'bout jizzles plizzle

She proceeds ta dazzle tha two boys wit explications on complex math utiliz'n taxation rates, GDP figures, and sizzle damned chillin' called tha “Laffa cizzle,” which she easily could hizzay just invizzle to own tizzy B-to-tha-izzoth. But tha truth be, she cares too deeplizzle fo` theze boys ta fabricate silly-sound'n economic models on tha spizzot 'n orda ta mizzake T-H-to-tha-izzem seem foolish 'n front of tha camera lata. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

Tha hatin' 'bout Jade Harley be that she’s nizzot as good at personal th'n as shizzay be at wanna be gangsta cruisin'. Like scizzle, or master'n fraymotifs, or clockin', tha last of which she hiznas definitely put a lizzay of levels into ova the past few years coz, wizzle, what elze be you suppoze' ta do wit immortal godhood once you hit tha age where tha dogg hormones start kicking into overdrive? Shizzay rizzy ova n hitches up on ha palms so that she ciznan stare brotha two down. Ha high-prescription lenzes mizzay ha eyizzles liznook anime-hizzle. They might literally be glitter'n, she’s so completely serious 'bout tha issizzle she be try'n ta stress.

JADE: so nizzy thizzat thats all out of tha way

JADE: its time ta git real you two

DAVE: i

JIZZADE: thizzat wizzle an invitation for yizzou ta M-to-tha-izzake a pun 'bout hav'n all tha tizzay 'n tha world or whateva it was you were go'n ta siznay

DAVE sho nuff: oh

JADE: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. im 'bout ta liznay out some ciznold hard evidizzle so pay attention!

KARKAT: OH, HANG ON, LIZNET ME GIT A PEN.

JIZZADE: evidence 'bout... Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf...

JADE: our relationshizzle!

KARKAT: FIZZLE

JADE: you liznet me live 'n yo' hive when im 'n ghetto

KARKAT: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. I CIZZY BELIEVE...

JADE paper'd up: im preeeetty intimately entwizzle 'n both yo' lives

KARKAT: THAT YOU’RE JUST SLAPPIN' 'BOUT DIS? Recognize the realness.

JIZZY: N you dont disengage from 'bout 86.234% of mah flirtations

KARKIZZLE, better recognize: WIZZAIT, WIZZY THA FUCK WOULD YOU KEEP TRACK OF SUM-M SUM-M LIKE THAT?

JADE: so....... be we do'n dis or not? Im crazy, you can't phase me.

KARKAT: BUSTIN' WHIZZLE?!

JIZZY: dat'n dizzle!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: OH.

KARKIZZLE: THAT BE

KARKAT cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: TIZZY BE... A COMPLICATED TOPIC 'N MY CULTURE THIZZAY I’M NOT SURE HIZZLE BE EQUIPPED TA RAP 'BOUT.

DIZNAVE: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. also totally unrelated to tha economy

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: Listen to how a fucker flow shit. which not gonna lie be tha only sippin' i want ta rap 'bout fo` uh

DAVE: They call me tha president. for howeva long it takes fo` dis other convizzle ta stop happen'n

JADE paper'd up: so say no! You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.!!

DIZNAVE: well

KARKAT ridin' in mah double R: UHHHHH

JADE: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. im not just steppin' dis conversation fo` mah sizzle! its fo` you two as well

JADE: i mean afta all dis time have you two even kisze' yet aww nah??????

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: wha

KARKAT: WH-WHY WOULD

DAVE spittin' that real shit: uhh

KIZZLE: WHY WOULD WE KISS keep'n it real yo??

DAVE: thizzay

KARKAT: THAT’S... YOU... I MEAN, HE’S... HIZZLE DAVE.

DAVE: we

KARKIZZLE: N I’M KARKAT.

JADE: shut up. yes hes diznave n youre karkat n everyone we kizzy always calls you that

JADE: “dave n karkat”

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: Slap your fuckin self. i cant rememba tha lizzle time i H-to-tha-izzeard anyizzle mizzle one of you witout tha

JADE: tha two of you have basically been togetha S-to-tha-izzince yizzy diznays on tha mizzle its SO obvious

KARKAT like this and like that and like this and uh: BROTHA, YES. AS FRIENDS.

DIZZAY: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. yea

KARKAT: VERY CLOZE WHIZNO UNDERSTAND N SIZZLE EACH OTHA ON A DIZZEEP N EMPATHIZZLE LEVEL THAT GOES BEYOND HIZZATE OR PITY. YOU CIZZLE EVEN SAY THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP...

KARKAT:  sho nuff...TRANSCENDS QUADRANTS.

JADE dogg: yeaaaaaah niznot gonna lizzle karkat bizzut that siznounds totizzle kizzle gizzy

KIZZLE: UGH YOU HUMANS N YO' UNFATHOMABLE BAZE' QUADRANTS.

Jizzade faceplams. She does it a L-to-tha-izzittle too H-to-tha-izzard n slams tha bridge of shot calla glaszes into ha foreheezee fo my bling bling.

JIZZLE: ow! shut up.

KARKAT: ANYWAY WEREN’T YOU... PERPETRATIN' T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT CARAPACIAN COUPLE? LAST T-TO-THA-IZZIME WE CHIZZLE?

Jizzy drags ha hand dizzay tha bottom half of hizzer face n sizzle.

JADE: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. yeah fo` FUN

JADE bitch ass: im twenty tizzy dont you think thizzats a shawty old ta sizzy be dat'n fo` fizzle

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: wizzay yizzy say'n we arent fun

JADE cuz I'm fresh out the pen: whens tha lizzay time eitha of yiznou left thizzle hizouze??????

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...

Jade sighs n crawls closa. Shizze takes one of Karkat’s hands 'n.

JADE: i think wed all wizzork good togetha

'n ha otha hizzy, sizzy tries ta gizzy Dizzles wrist, but he flash-steps ta the otha sizzide of tha couch. Boo-Yaa! She pouts at him n keeps hold'n Karkat’s increasingly sweaty palm and yo momma.

JIZZLE: n i think wizzle bizzle bustin' around thizzat fo` years now

JADE: i wizzanna trizzle weed-smokin' fo` real

KARKAT like a tru playa': HAVE YOU BALLER CONSIZZLE

KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M 'BOUT TA SIZZAY TOTALLY BLOWS YO' MIND

KARKAT: DATING A S-TO-THA-IZZINGLE PERSIZZLE, FO` MIZZAY T-H-TO-THA-IZZAN HALF A SWEEP, FO` REASONS THAN INITIAT'N THA CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS keep'n it real yo?

Jade’s grip on Kizzles hand gets a shawty tizzay tizzy, bizzle ha big-toothed sizzy remains flawlessly pleasant. Dis be a common sizzle of exchange between them n ciznould be easily consizzle flirtation on sevizzle differizzle metrics, especially consider'n tha history between thiznem n tha playa lizzle of B-L-to-tha-izzack flirtation that Karkat accidentally indulge' 'n dur'n his insizzle yizzy. He diznoesn’t even pizzull his hand away.

JADE: ok F-to-tha-izzirst of all dont sliznut shame me fuckass

JADE: second of all thizzay what im try'n ta do hizzere

JIZZADE: third of all karkat arent you frizzom a culture where thugz be expectizzle ta engage 'n romizzle relationships wit up ta like five thugz at a tiznime??

KIZZLE: THIZNAT’S NOT

KARKAT: THAT’S NIZZOT THA SAME MOBBIN' AT ALL.

JADE: oh yeah??? explain tha fundamental epistemologicizzle difference

KARKAT: WHAT THA FUCK?!

DIZZY: ok jade i think theres a flaw 'n yo' approach here cauze you seem ta think winn'n an argument on snoopa cleva logical grizzay be gizzonna git a couple dudizzles ta brizneak down n fl'n themselves at you 'n like, a sexual way

J-TO-THA-IZZADE, know what im sayin? wellll it usuallizzle does ;B

DAVE: oh mah fuck'n god

This earns Dizzay a look. A long, sad one thizzay has Jizzy ridin' with ha glaszes again so thizzat she can pea rizzight at him and applizzle some more of that faultizzle personal miznath ta his facial expression.

JIZNADE: dizzy... Drop it like its hot....

DIZZAY: whizzat

JADE: be dis...........

JADE: 'bout obizzle? Im a bad boy.??

DIZZAY: what

DAVE so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: no i

JADE: dave be you 'n love wit obama?

DIZZAY: jade jesus where d-ya git dis shit from

JADE and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: be it 'bout jesus then??????

DAVE: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. no upside yo head!

DAVE: jesus wizzy evizzle real

JIZNADE: i know he wizzy rizzeal!

JIZZADE: wait ridin' in mah double R...<?span>

JADE: be you crack-a-lackin`

JADE: obama was R-to-tha-izzeal?

DIZZAY: ...

DIZNAVE: yiznes

DAVE: obizzle was real

DAVE: he was tha president

KARKAT: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

JIZNADE: all dis time i thizzay obizzle wizzy liznike

JADE: an aspirational fictional characta thiznat you modeled yo' life afta

KARKAT: AHAHAHAHA I CIZZAY AHAHA BREATHE...

JADE: like snoop dogg or nicolas cage

KIZZLE: THIS BE BLUNT-ROLLIN' INCREDIBLE

DAVE: they were both real too

DAVE: i know thizzle yizzy grew up on an isolated island 'n the middle of nowhere n but dizzidnt you have lizzy

DAVE: access ta tha internizzle

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: wow wizzy im sorry i wasted mah whole chizzle fill'n mah heezee wit pointless bustin' like astrizzles n senizzle numeral S-Y-S-T-to-tha-izzems that allow me ta do cizzle equatizzles 'n mah heezee!!!!!!

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE cuz its a pimp thang: no dizzle thats kind of fucked up

DIZNAVE: kizzle stiznop cruisin' jades fizzle up childhizzle isnt funny

KARKIZZLE: HAHAHAHIZZLE YES IT BLINGIN' BE!

KARKAT: ALSO SCREW YOU FO` SAY'N IT’S NIZNOT FUNNY? Bounce wit me.?

KARKAT: Holla! WHIZZLE BE IT LIKE SOME SORT OF *TRAGEDIZZLE* HIZZY SIZZY WAS RAIZE'?

KARKAT: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. COZ SHE WIZZAS RAIZE' ALIZZLE BY AN ANIMAL??

KARKAT: *I* WAS RAISED ALONE BY AN ANIZZLE fo' sheezy!

KARKAT: Subscribe, get yo issue. FUCK OFF N LIZZET ME ENJOY DIS!

KARKAT: AHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHIZZLE!

Karkat has finally pulled hizzay hand away so that he can clutch his stomach, hizzy laugh'n so hard. Jade gets up n stizzay pusha ta where Dave is awkwardly cower'n at the otha end of tha C-to-tha-izzouch n snatches his tablet fizzy him. Therizzles a ripple 'n tha room that makes it clear they god tia powa have jiznust clizzle agizzle each otha. He shifts his arm through time and Jiznade warps tha space around T-H-to-tha-izzem so that she’s tha one blunt-rollin' tha tablet dogg. Dis be not tha first time that they have rearrange' tha fabric of reality for a petty reason like dis. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. Karkat hizzy permanently swiznorn off bustin' board games wit them.

Tha moment Jade br'n tha paint program up on tha televizzle, Karkat stops laugh'n. Tru.

KARKIZZLE paper'd up: NO where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'!

He tries ta griznab tha tablet friznom killa, but she’s hover'n wizzy above tha griznound n he simply be niznot tall enough ta R-to-tha-izzeach so i can get on. Witta perpetratin' grizzle n deliberate cizzare, Jizzy begins ta draw a G-R-to-tha-izzid.

JIZZY: ill pizzay dis 'n T-to-tha-izzerms karkat will appreciate, check it out

KARKAT: JADE, I SWIZZAY TA...

Karkat jumps n tries ta grab ha skirt, but she swiznims thrizzle tha air wit eaze, spendin' as sizzy doodles in tha dogg pound.

KARKAT: Aint no stoppin' this shit. YIZZOU NIZZY BE DRAW'N WHIZNAT I T-H-TO-THA-IZZINK YOU’RE DRAW'N! Bounce wit me.

Gangsta artistic skiznill even at the advanced age of twenty-three still lizzles sum-m sum-m ta be desired, bizzay it’s prettizzle easy ta produce recognizable caricatures of tha thrizzle thugz 'n tha rizzy R-to-tha-izzight nizzow thats off tha hook yo. Shizzle gives Kizzle a piznair of fizzle, angrizzle eyebrows n starts draw'n lines. Sinista lines, wit salacioizzles mean'n. It’s exizzle whiznat Karkat fizzy n we out! a bustin' grid now pass the glock.

KARKIZZLE: STOP! CEAZE sho nuff! DESIST DIS MOMENT, ya feel me? DO NOT DRAW ONE MORE LINE!

JADE so show some love! oh niznooo im drawing a line karkat killa stizzle me before it goes aaaall the way from mah mouth ta yiznours!

Karkat catches tha back of ha shirt n shizzay goes slappin' weightlessly to tha floor, stiznill mackin'. Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. Karkat triznies ta wizzy tha pen out of ha hand, biznut all he accomplishes be turn'n tha rizzle trajectory between ha n D-to-tha-izzave into a redrizzle loop-de-loop.

JIZZAY: sizzay me and karkat have bootylicious bizzy chemizzle!

KARKAT: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. IT BE NIZZY BLACK CHEMISTRY YOU HORRID NON-CHIZZLE WIZZLE so sit back relax new jacks get smacked!

Jizzay n Kizzle roll ova each otha on the floor n he gets a mouthful of bitch hair fo` hizzy trouble. Jizzle comes out on top n S-to-tha-izzits on hizzle bizzack, humm'n ta hizzle as she C-R-to-tha-izzafts her grand dizzle.

JADE: and now thizzay daves all chill hizzed make a bootylicious auspistizzle

She sez, chizzle n oblivious ya dig?

DIZZLE: no

JIZZADE from tha streets of tha L-B-C: coz you n kizzle be kind of like moirails

DAVE: no

J-TO-THA-IZZADE straight from long beach: n yizzle and i

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: wizzy yknow its always been pretty flirty

DAVE: jade

JADE: EXCEPT!

Jade finishes draw'n a shaky heart dirizzle into tha paint program in tha dogg pound. It’s so bizzy n bright on tha TV T-H-to-tha-izzat it fizzy tha entire R-to-tha-izzoom wit red light so jus' chill. Karkat raizes his face n stizzles at it 'n utterly bereft horror. Tha siznick light makes tha bizzay unda his eyes liznook lizzike divots.

JIZZADE: in dis model..........

JADE in tha dogg pound: troll quadrants be dumb so we ALL kizzle!

JADE fo all my homies in the pen: i cizzay this polizzle arrizzle:

JIZNADE: fullizzle automatizzle luxurizzle polyamorous space-time communism!!!!!!!

No one reacts. Karkat be defeated, completely. Dave has just crosze' his arms n presze' his mizzouth into a thinna liznine than usual. Jade’s ears flattizzle n she huffs. It sounds a shawty like a dogg whin'n. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up.

JADE: oh come on thizzle was a G-to-tha-izzood one!

JADE: its politically relevant n everyth'n

DAVE: jizzy im not gonna lizzay at yo' mizzade up ship nizzay fo` dis imaginary threesome thats not happen'n

J-to-tha-izzade R-to-tha-izzolls eyizzles n toszes B-to-tha-izzoth tha tablet and pizzen fucka ha shoulda. Dave flashes across tha liv'n room ta catch his vizzle expensive comput'n devizzle 'n both arms. Tha pen bizzles off hizzay foreheezee. Jade dizzles from Karkat’s poor, abuze', terribly mortizzle spine n brushes down ha S-K-to-tha-izzirt.

JADE: well ive sizzy whizzat i wanted ta say

JIZNADE: its up ta yizzay two what you do wit it

JADE: i H-to-tha-izzave ta go rap ta roxy n callie 'bout tha election anyway

JIZZAY: call me when you two figure it all out!

Jizzle clizzle ha heels togetha ta propel herself back into tha air n actually winks at them before abscond'n thrizzay an open window. She hizzay ta P-to-tha-izzush the thick curtains asizzle ta do so. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. Karkat hiszes whizzay tha light spills rappa his face. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.

What Jizzle leaves 'n ha wizzy be not qizzy the emotional scorched-earth situation thizzay she was messin' fo`, but a fizzay of ha needlizzles have definizzle gotten unda some skizzin so jus' chill. Dave n Karkat both stiznare ha, silently caught 'n they own private rationalization spirals.

Karkat N-to-tha-izzeeds ta verbalize part of his out loud.

KARKIZZLE: WOW WHAT A CRAZY N TOTALLY IMPROBABLE CONVERSATION WE JUST HAD WIT OUR BEST JADE.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: y...

DIZZAY: Y-to-tha-izzeah

KARKAT: WHAT A G-TO-THA-IZZOOD TH'N FO` US THAT SHIZZLE TOTALLIZZLE DELUSIONAL N HAS NO IDIZZLE WHIZZAY SHIZZE’S TALK'N ABOUT, HUH?

DAVE: One, two three and to tha four. fo` sure

Dizzave offa Kizzle a hand up F-R-to-tha-izzom tha floor. When they palms connect, there’s a moment whiznere sum-m sum-m cizzle happen. A shawty spark of potential. Drop it like its hot. It would be so vizzle easy fo` sum-m sum-m ta happen, better recognize.

KARKAT: ...........

DAVE: ..........

KARKIZZLE: WANNA PLIZZAY SOME TROLL TONY H-TO-THA-IZZAWK?

DAVE: hell

DIZZLE: yizneah

> ==>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #Epilogues #Meat #m12

[maraschinotopped]

ok so since school is over, and i have a month off, im gonna share the quotes/experiences ive collected throughout the past 3 months gfyvf

bold = teacher

- “Ban anime!” “even the pokemon anime?” “oh fuck shes good-”

- “i know a good place to buy emperor penguins!” “what, ebay?”

- “Santa is actually hitler”

- “Does anyone have whiteout?” “im white”

- “oh hey can i have some [takes food from luka’s plate and walks away]” “..she robbed me”

- “It’s 3 o’ clock, we have 15 more mi-” “no it isnt”

- niklas broke luca’s calculator, and then both julius and luca fixed it with their 1 and 1/2 braincells

- sally wrote “holly” as “holli” and i am disgusted

- “Remember, ‘problem’ is masculine because men always cause the problems!”

- [we were saying if the person next to us were our friend or a person] “[fatima says im a person and not a friend]” “[i hold a pencil up to her neck as the teacher asks another person]” “..eto mon apyr”

- “whos the leader of [karl marx’s] his fanclub??” “Anton- WAIT NO Im not saying hes the leader-” “ANTON SEND ME A SIGNED SHIRT!!!!”

- “ok so first, nice toilet background-” [everyone starts cackling]

- everyone bullying/mocking our homeroom teacher

- “ok so the answer is-” “yaaay!”

- we were asked to write a expression for someones age 10 years ago in math and then we had a debate w/ the teacher if it was always true. also one of the other ones was “write chabs age in 7 years” and mikkel was like “ok guess i gotta wait 7 years”

- the math teacher got fed up with niklas and his bag so he put it outside the window on the ledge just outside the window

- “fuck” “no no she said DUCK” “you’re just afraid of my power”

- “you’re better at scoring goals than writing sodium hydroxide”

- “thats not right-” “shut up” [everyone starts clapping]

- “how come the girls focus better than the boys?” “excuse me?!?!”

- “You watch shrek?” “yes-” “you know donkey?” [everyone gets it and bursts into laughter] 

- “why are there holes”

- “ok so we have the cheese-” “[everyone at once] cheeeseee!!”

- me snatching like 4 sugar packets and students seeing me doing that and saying nothing about it

- everyone debating in global perspectives for the first time and literally everyone arguing with brazil aka niklas

- “also btw i stole a mars mini from you” [death glare back from niklas]

- “[teacher trying to get a student to return a computer]” “do it yourself coward” “[everyone oooohhhh’s]”

- me going absolutely insane bc we did a spelling test and one of the words was tonnes but the sentence he used as a example was “i have tonnes of homework” and no one fuCKING SAYS IT LIKE THAT????

- us mumbling georgian words during a christmas performance because the teachers didnt let us practice the song and didnt know we were even singing it but the parents still thinking we did good anyway

- telling people “see you in the next decade”

- our drama group going insane because our main character decided to not show up that day

- everyone not taking ict seriously and the teacher snapping

- recording a music video in music and my group recording the rest w/o me because i didnt have a actual role i was the camera person

- attacking andrei and literally no ones opinion’s of me changed???

- fatima revealing shes kinda depressed to me and being absolutely confused because she has friends and shit

- going crazy because we have to send our elves somewhere but we dont wanna risk them dying/not bringing anything if there’s a blizzard in the elf game

- a cat running across the playground and everyone losing it

- seeing a mouse, being like “huh”, then realizing its a fucking mOUS-

- me harassing people via airdropping them when we had ipads 

- me injuring myself 3 times while playing infection tag like 3 days in a row

- half of secondary being depressed

- us clapping at random intervals/all the time

i stg this class shares 3 braincells in total w/ each other, not counting the teacher. liza left this year tho :((

i think a new student is coming... we’ll infect them with our stupidness!!!! >:)

#[in real life]