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#Looking back at this post.... 3 WEEKS?!?!??????????!!
fayes-fics · 3 days
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Vibe & Vexation
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, Modern AU w/ Regency roleplay
Summary: Watching Pride & Prejudice evokes playtime in Benedict.
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Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI, established couple, Regency era sexual roleplay, teasing, remote vibrator, dirty talk, female orgasm, brief vaginal sex. Also features lake!Darcy!Benedict, anachronistic costumes (just like the real show this season tbh) and absolutely unacceptable use of Jane Austen.
Word count: 2.4k
Authors Note: Yes, the title is a terrible play on Pride & Prejudice. Listen, I don't know what this is either, and I'm posting before I lose my nerve after 3 weeks of writer's block. This is dedicated to @godofstory whose casual comment on one of my fics finally dislodged my brain block. This is modern Benedict roleplaying Regency. Also thanks to @colettebronte for reading through, being kind and saying I haven’t lost my mind. Well, not completely. Err, enjoy? <3
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“Ben, don't be silly…”
“Are you suggesting that I wouldn't look dashing in a frilly shirt and snug trousers?” he teases, raising his head from your belly and twisting to look at you, his eyes twinkling with a mischievous glint as the credits roll on the Austen film you've been idly watching on a rainy Sunday.
“No, I'm not saying that,” you chuckle, your fingers touselling his hair. “You look good in everything and nothing…” you tease, enjoying the prideful swell of his chest at your compliment. “But I'm not in the mood to track down Regency outfits for a little sexy role play.”
“Leave the details to me, my love.” He waves a dismissive hand as he flips over and begins to crawl over you. “I will be your Mr Darcy….” he attests, lowering his voice to that rumble which always makes your belly flutter.
“But I don't have a lake in this flat,” you deadpan, perhaps not helpfully referencing a different adaptation, but too distracted to care, his crooked smile hovering right above you now.
“‘Tis a pity,” he agrees, quirking his lips, “but I shall think of something….” he winks before capturing your lips with his. 
And, just like that, you forget all about the subject…
Two days later
“They didn't have any fusilli, so I got penne; I hope that's okay…” you call out as you enter your flat, dropping the heavy bag of shopping from your shoulder and flinging off your shoes, grateful to be out of them and home.
When there is no answer, you frown. When you texted on your way home, he sent back a list of supplies for dinner.
“Ben…?” you round the corner into the kitchen and realise it's empty, nothing cooking on the hob. “You're not even cooking….?” you raise your arms in a shrugging gesture, nonplussed, apparently talking to yourself in what appears to be an empty flat.
“Ms Bennet….”
His voice rings out resonant, a teasing lilt that has you spinning around. And almost toppling over.
There, in the doorway to your bathroom, is Benedict…. dressed up as a Regency gentleman. 
Well, partially dressed. And what he is dressed in is damp and clinging to his skin in a way that gives away absolutely everything about why you cannot resist him. Broad shoulders and a tapered torso, completely visible through the most transparent white frilled shirt you could ever imagine. Snug blue trousers that, again, give everything away. He must have hopped into the shower to achieve this effect, his clothing virtually painted upon his skin.
You literally bite the edge of your tongue.
“Mr Darcy….” you stumble, incapable of any other words, mouth falling open as he saunters towards you with a confident gait, his trousers straining over his thighs as he does so.
“My eyes are up here, Ms Bennet…” he teases as yours ping guiltily to his face, knowing you are being entirely called out for your ogling. 
“What if your eyes are the very last thing I am interested in, Mr Darcy?” you finally find your voice, stepping into the role of a feisty, historic heroine you enjoy so much.
“The eyes are the window to the soul…” he tilts his head challengingly, raising an eyebrow.
“That’s Shakespeare, not Austen,” you shoot back pointedly.
“All the world are good and agreeable in your eyes,” he corrects, indeed a quote from Pride and Prejudice. He has obviously been revising—something about that is as adorable as it is arousing.
“You don't fight fair…” you whisper as he closes in on you with a handsome smirk, but it hardly feels like defeat as his long fingers spider up your jacket buttons, the warm fug of his clothes amplifying the mouthwatering scent he wears under them.
“All is fair in love and war,” he counters, sliding nearer, his lips warm on your temple now as he flicks open your topmost button.
“Are you going to talk in literary quotes all night?” 
Your ask is much breathier than you intend, very much not a protest about what is transpiring—a tingle down your sternum where his fingers trail over your skin down to the next button. You feel the curve of his cheek against your face from his responding smile. 
“I might stop,” he proposes airily. ”But perhaps only to tease you until you pass out…” 
“How?”
The question falls from you unbidden, curiosity seizing your lips.
“With the help of things poor Mr Darcy never had access to…” he offers enigmatically. “But for now, how about you go change into your outfit, Ms Bennet?”
“I have an outfit too?” your breath catching at the idea he has planned a whole scenario.
“Oh yes, ‘tis hanging in your room, fair lady,” he mutters, taking a half pace back. But before you go, he grabs your hand, raising it to his mouth and dropping a kiss that is anything but chaste—wet, plush lips with a slight edge of teeth dragging over your knuckles as his hot tongue lathes between your fingers lasciviously. 
“I'm not sure this is quite Regency accurate…” you assert as you swan back into the living room a few minutes later, even as there is a frisson over your skin at the very sexy outfit he has chosen.
“Perhaps not,” he concedes, his eyes lingering on the pronounced swell of your breasts as you sashay closer. “But yet, I cannot fault my choice.”
“More Marquis de Sade than Jane Austen…” you opine, revelling in his stare, the time spent fastening each hook and eye down the front of the ivory corset worth it for that hungry look and the nascent swelling you see in his clinging trousers. The silk, frilled French knickers he picked out are new, which you are grateful for, but they match perfectly. There was an odd weight to them as you pulled them on, though, but you did not spend much time contemplating it, so keen to get back to the scene.
“Ms Bennet, how dare you turn up to my home so scandalously dressed when I am entertaining company?” he admonishes, his tone suddenly brusque, stepping fully into his roleplay, gesturing to the empty kitchen area as if it were filled with guests.
“Mr Darcy, I can only apologise. I thought you were away on business,” you improvise, clutching your hands over your body in a futile attempt to conceal your state of undress, acting horrified to be caught.
“Do you make a habit of trespassing in my home and flouncing around so slatternly?” he snaps tersely, his eyes flashing approvingly.
You know the question is rhetorical, so you just hang your head, biting your lip, playing at being ashamed and chastised for being so wanton in the home of the man you desire. This is nothing like anything in Pride and Prejudice, but you could not give less of a damn, a flutter low in your gut that this could go somewhere utterly delicious. 
“I must insist you desist,” he continues imperiously. “This must never happen again! Now go to my private quarters and think upon what you have done!” he concludes, pointing to the sofa. 
“Yes, Mr Darcy,” you nod and curtsy with faux demureness, which he seems to greatly enjoy based on the flash in his eyes, seemingly even more so when you break character and poke out your tongue insolently as you pass.
You take a seat on the sofa and watch, initially confused, as Benedict remains in the kitchen area, play-acting as if he is chatting to guests, supping from a wine glass and gesturing. Puzzled, you watch as he reaches for his phone casually and flicks something on the screen, his back still turned to you.
There is a sudden, sharp buzz in your underwear that steals your breath, your legs tensing, your feet kicking out reflexively, sliding your clit heavier against the vibration.
Oh fuck.
That’s why the underwear felt oddly weighted. He must have snuck a thin remote vibe pad into the lining.
He makes a half-turn and smirks over his shoulder as you pant and stare at the play of his back muscles under his translucent shirt, your fingers clawing into the sofa at the sudden not-at-all-gentle onslaught.
“Ms Bennet, are you quite well?” he calls out, a triumphant look claiming his face. “You appear somewhat flushed.”
“Mr Darcy, I find myself in a most perplexing dilemma,” you grit out between clenched teeth, impressed you can even form words. The vibe is a persistent thrum that you attempt to tilt yourself away from slightly but seem unable, always there, dragging against you in a way that makes you writhe, your back arching.
He spins around to face you entirely now, putting down his wine glass, phone casual in the other hand, thumb hovering portentously over the screen with a gleeful mien.
“What troubles you, Ms Bennet?”
His lilt is teasing and velvet, humming in your bones as much as the toy. The vibration suddenly ceases, and you collapse back into the sofa, panting mildly, the corset restricting your ability to take the gulps of air you need, your chest heaving, unable to do anything but stare slack-jawed at him.
“Have you quite forgotten your words, Ms Bennet? I thought you a creature of learning…” he needles, the painted-on regency garb he wears just more temptation, his cock straining against the wool now. He makes no move to draw closer, but he does flick open the buttons around his wrists and roll up his sleeves, his toned forearms flexing as he does so.
“I am a woman of learning,” you defend after a pause, “but I find myself rather disadvantaged tonight. I suspect deception…” You narrow your eyes at him.
He throws his head back and laughs, his Adam's apple bobbing prominently as he does so. It makes you want to pitch forward and bite it.
“Whoever would deceive such a fine woman as you?” he fires back as he tilts back down. You cry out as his thumb yet again swipes over his screen, and your underwear roars back to life—this time a softer pulsing wave, but no less titillating, an inflaming tease that staccatos against your engorged flesh.
“You might, Mr Darcy…” you accuse, but it's lighthearted at best, a toothless threat as all of your efforts are focussed on the fizzing pleasure radiating out into your pelvis.
“On the contrary, Ms Bennet. In vain have I struggled…” he begins. 
That speech.
“It will not do….” he adds, shaking his head for good measure as he flicks open the buttons upon his soaked shirt, your eyes tracking the movement as each new slice of damp, heated skin is revealed in the soft, low lamplight.
“My feelings will not be repressed…” 
He peels the sodden shirt from his form, and you moan as that honed body is revealed to you, glistening slightly. The vibe is a roiling wave against your clit that makes your pussy clench around nothing, wishing to be filled.
“You must allow me….” he pauses and lopsidedly grins as he roughly tugs upon the buttons of his trousers, a teasing striptease that has you spiralling fast, leaking copiously into your knickers now.
“Allow you what…?” you throw in, huffing against the restriction of the corset, something about its tight hold escalating your addled state, moaning as he drops the last vestige of his clothing, his cock springing free. His whole being glowing with pride in how much he can affect you.
“To tell you how ardently I admire and love you….” he concludes, his voice dark and smooth, settling over your skin like warm molasses as he finally prowls towards you.
You want to pitch forward and nuzzle your face into his cock. But he dips down as he approaches, pushing your legs far apart with his hands and falling to his knees, burying his face into your cleavage. He suckles vehemently on the swell of your chest, lathing his tongue over your flushed skin as you fight to gasp in enough air, the vibe and his lush mouth hurtling you fast towards oblivion, his hands a firm grip on your hips.
“I love you too, Mr Darcy,” you gulp in delayed response. “But, please release me from this torture…” you append weakly, needing reprieve from the prolonged hold.
“Is it not the sweetest torture, though?” he argues back as his nose trails up your clavicle to your neck, his mouth earnest upon a spot that always makes you pliant. “I want to see you struggle, my love, bound in my corset, sat upon my vibe, teased and vexed until you can take no more….” his words are a sinful soliloquy gusting almost wistfully into your ear, your lobe snagged under his teeth.
“Take pity upon me, please; I am distressed,” you appeal, feeling a slight wooziness as you circle a chasm of pleasure that licks teasingly at your edges.
“You are beautiful,” he counters, a firm hand cupping the back of your head and puppets you to stare into his blown pupils, his rigid cock trailing a sticky line over your thigh as he rumbles more debauched. “Now come for me, Ms Bennet, and then I shall have you…”
You screw your eyes shut just as he flicks to a higher setting on the vibe and can no longer fight or struggle, letting your body break, febrile, a dew on your back as it arches, you screaming to the ceiling as you are thrown into the stars and the earth at the same time, torn in a hundred directions by the intense pulse radiating out from your core and fanning across your whole body, every muscle tensing and releasing in a sudden wave.
Hazily, you hear his jubilant praises ringing in your ears, but it feels far away even as his hands and mouth are hot and heavy on your skin, ripping the corset and knickers from your body with a vehemence that would shock you were you in less of a euphoric, altered state. He pulled you bodily to the edge of the sofa, teasing his cock against your throbbing clit, making you groan and paw at him, the need rising again as you return to your surroundings.
“You have bewitched me body and soul,” he pants as he slides into your body, a surging insistence that has your fingernail curling into the sinew on his forearms, your toes curling around the fuzzy meat of his thighs. “I never wish to be parted from you for a second. I love you..,” his tone rough, broken, stuttering as he bottoms out inside you, quoting the film you watched together the other night before taking you urgently towards another blissful peak.
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Benedict taglist pt1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies
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reidrum · 23 hours
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all yours if you want me | s.r
pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader
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a/n: i think i really like this but if i proofread it one more time im gonna hate it so im just putting it out now lol. this is the full version of the sneak peak i posted last week woohoo ! also this is my first time writing smut so im sorry if it sucks but i hope y'all like it <3
summary: bau's got their first day off in weeks, and you're heading straight to the club to have some fun, you just didn't expect your coworker/crush to also be there while you're trying to forget him.
cw: 18+ minors pls dni, smut, p in v (dont be silly wrap ur willy), munch!spence, lowkey softdom!spence, suggestive dancing in public spaces, minor insecure reader, reader is afab and wears a dress and heels
wc: 4.6k
pls let me know if i forgot anything and let me know your thoughts pleaseee xx
it was the first friday night off you and any of the team members of the bau had in a long time, and you all were determined to spend it well. jj and hotch immediately went home to their families, penelope and emily decided they were going home to get some well needed rest, rossi went to a cigar club, not really sure what derek and spencer ended up doing, but you knew what you were doing tonight.
you’d had a long standing invitation from one of your college friends for a club night, and at first you’d decline because you’d get swept away on a case, and because you were hopelessly pining after your hot nerdy coworker dr. spencer reid.
spencer was smart in many ways, three PhDs, countless published papers, not to mention that eidetic memory of his. there was one thing that spencer was just fucking dumb at, and it was your shameless flirting at him.
like it annoyed you how clueless he was. you’d bring him coffee in the mornings with hearts drawn on it, fall asleep on his shoulder on the jet rides back, even complimenting his outfit or looks which made him flustered, but still nothing. your harbored crush seemed to stay just that, a crush. and while you’d hope he would get the hint he just hasn’t.
so you pull out your phone to text your friend. 
“barry’s at 9?”
“oh my god FINALLY. i’m there i'll pick you up at 8:30.”
you grin to yourself, this was good. you needed to get out and unwind for once.
you drive home quickly to hop in the shower before your friend comes to get you. throwing on a silk slip dress as your outfit of choice, you slipped your heels on and met your friend in the car.
walking into the club, you’re met with the thumping bass of the music playing and the staunch smell of alcohol, sweat, and sex.
it made you think about the last time you got laid, which was a really long time ago. and honestly you wanted to sleep with spencer so bad you hadn’t been making advances elsewhere. but that was going to change tonight, you were determined to have good slutty fun, and hopefully get laid.
your friend grabbed your hand and beelined to the bar, ordering two tequila shots each. once you downed them you moved to the dance floor and started preying for a target. as you’re scanning the room, you notice a familiar looking mop of brown hair standing next to bald headed man. a combo you knew all too well.
-
derek morgan was a player. and before he’s a player, he’s a damn good friend. which was his reasoning for dragging spencer out of his apartment to come out to the club and have fun.
“but i can have fun at home by myself morgan.”
“kid, you need to let loose once in a while. you are young, i’m just helping you take advantage of it.”
-
so now spencer’s at the club (a sentence he still struggles to believe) wearing trousers and navy button down shirt to which morgan had popped the top buttons open because ‘it gives the ladies a sneak peek’. he just rolled his eyes and went with it. he’s nursing a shirley temple at the bar, perusing the environment when he comes across a pair of eyes he knows like the back of his hand.
when you recognize the amber eyes you couldn’t believe your luck. of course, on the one night you’d decided to explore other options he shows up in the least expected place for him to be. so much for getting over him, you think. shyly raising your hand to wave, spencer returns the gesture. morgan takes note, “who are you waving t- oh, pretty girl is here huh pretty boy?” he nudges him.
a blush raises on his face. spencer thought you were attractive, like really attractive. you were a great addition to the bau and he admired your work ethic a lot, the day you walked into the bullpen wearing a fitted pantsuit had his own pants growing real tight. he still remembers when you introduced yourself and he couldn’t even get up without exposing himself. you thankfully didn’t think it was weird, and spencer was relieved when it was finally time to go home. he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have nights where he wished you were the one finishing him off and not his rough hands. he didn’t think you’d like someone like him, and took all of your ‘advances’ as morgan calls them, as acts of kindness.
morgan laughs as he watches spencer’s iq deteriorate to below 50 staring at you, “do you what you gotta do man. but you better be going home with someone tonight okay?”
spencer nods and nurses his drink a bit and looks back to morgan to realize he’s already off dancing with some girls in the corner. damn.
after your distanced encounter with spencer, you decide it’s time to move on and have some fun on your own. you couldn’t be hung up on him anymore, at least not tonight. tonight was for bad decisions.
good thing bad decision walked up to you asking to dance, whatshisname leads you to the dance floor and puts his hands on your hips, swaying to the beats of t-pain and pitbull.
you didn’t know, but spencer was watching every move you made. he watched you get led to the dance floor, the way he placed his hands right on your ass and squeezed, and how he turned you around so you were dancing on his front with your back. he gripped his glass so tight the bartender had to tell him he’d have to pay if it breaks.
he gets it, you’re attractive. this is the kind of thing that happens to people who look like you. who wouldn’t want you? but then he watched it happen a second time. and a third. and a fourth and fifth, till he just stopped counting at nine for his sanity.
spencer was not used to the green monster taking over him, but oh god was he fucking seething with jealousy.
you realized spencer was watching you by whatshisname number five. he hadn’t moved from his spot and he was constantly staring in your direction. deciding to do a little experiment, you played up your dancing a lot more, acting more flirtatious, dragging the guy’s hands further down, and letting out open mouthed moans that you knew spencer couldn’t hear but could definitely see. you watched as his jaw shifted and his knuckles turned white as you danced with each guy, realizing the growing effect that you now had on him.
by whatshisname number nine, you casted your hook. making sure to face spencer and meet his eyes, you watched as they darkened when he realized you were looking right at him. spencer might’ve brushed it off as a coincidence, but then you winked at him. and he realized what you were doing—you were taunting him, and fuck was it working for him. the bulge in his pants grew uncomfortable that he had to stand up to not draw so much attention to it under the bar lights. 
you watched him stand up and adjust himself and you threw your line. when he looked back up at you, you made a come here motion with your index finger and a bite of your lip. spencer’s eyes darkened impossibly more, he paid for his tab and strode over to you.
sinker.
he pulled you from the man behind you, who muttered a ‘what the fuck’ and moved away. spencer pulled you flush to his chest and with a low voice in the crest of your ear he whispered, “what do you think you’re doing?”
“i don’t think i know what you’re talking about dr. reid, could you explain it to me?”
spencer tightens his hold on you and ghosts over your ear once more, “this is a dangerous game you’re playing, sweetheart.”
“a game you joined the second you walked over here.”
he looked at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and matched the small smirk on your lips. game on.
the song changed to something with a more sultry beat, and you used the opportunity to wrap your arms around his neck and let his hands guide your hips to the music. while he wasn’t much of a dancer, he could definitely keep a beat. it didn’t prove to be so difficult when your chest was pushing up on his own that he was just waiting for them to spill out. he realized he could feel your hardened nipples through your slip, the nubs rubbing friction through the fabric of their clothes. he moaned internally while he gripped your hips to pull you even closer. it was clear spencer seemed to be getting comfortable with moving your body and holding you close, but you couldn’t let that happen.
before the second chorus you turn around in his arms so your back is pressed up against his front, and you start dancing on him.
spencer’s taken by surprise, something you felt when his hands faltered the confident rhythm it kept up, and while he watched you dance just like this with all those guys it’s like his mind is blank now.
you recognize the song playing, collide by justine skye & tyga, and use the sultry beat to your advantage. you move your ass hard on his front, feeling his length pressed between your cheeks. you gesture for him to lean his head down and he lets out a low groan as you whisper in his ear, “all that for me?”.
a primal instinct starts to take over spencer’s being, and he grips your hips to meet his rutting from behind. spencer was desperate for any friction that could soothe the growing ache in his pants. you grinned as you felt take what he needed from you. it was quickly wiped off your face when you felt his hands inching dangerously close to where you really wanted him.  you place your hands on his with surprise and look at him, “what are you doing?”
“i don’t think i know what you’re talking about, sweetheart,” he threw back at you, “but if there’s something you’d like me to do, i’m all ears.” spencer grazes his fingers under the hem of your dress, toying with the lace band of your panties and slipping his fingers below it to stroke your inner thighs.
fuck. he turned it on you so fast it almost gave you whiplash. the provocative dancing was something you could handle, hell everyone on that dance floor was doing the same thing as you both. what you weren’t sure you could handle was him about to touch you in a public space. but, your body betrayed you as it turned you on to another plane. you look up at him with lust filled eyes and let out a breathy moan of his name. spencer collapses internally and stands his ground, “if you want something, beg me.”
spencer thinks he’s won the upper hand, and he’s feeling so smug behind you. he still thinks he has the upper hand until you reach down and place his middle and index finger in your mouth, circling your tongue around the digits.
“touch me.” you moan out, releasing his fingers.
spencer is dumbfounded how he’s the one about to burst out his pants when he made you beg for him. it should make him feel embarrassed at how close he was, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. not when you in his arms pleading him to do something. you sounded so pretty, and who was he to deny a pretty thing like you?
his fingers continue their journey down, outlining the lace trim resting on your thighs. he hooks his fingers on the fabric to pull it aside and slips into you, going at an aching pace to gather the wetness and groaning out, “jesus, you’re so wet, was this all for me? you needed my attention that bad, baby?”
you whimper and grip his hand even tighter because you’re not sure if your legs are holding out any longer. it’s all so overwhelming—having his hands down your panties in the middle of the dance floor, the lewdity of the noises in your ear, the hard length pressing desperately on your ass. this is all you’ve ever wanted from him, to want you. and now it’s happening, and your brain can’t fire the neurons fast enough to process the moment. instead your body responded with your skin heating up with anticipation, heart beating out as much adrenaline to keep up. the daze is getting foggier by the second as he trails his fingers up and down your slit, spreading the wetness and circling your clit on the way up. and you think you’re about to get accustomed to the pace he’s set, when he delves between your folds and you moan out loud so abruptly that the nearby patrons looked around wondering where it came from.
you can feel spencer’s shit eating grin behind you as he moves his head down to leave love bites on your neck. if he can feel your bluff dissipating, he’s not saying anything. his fingers set a painfully slow rhythm, and you grind down trying to get any more friction to reach your peak. he’s hitting you in all the right spots that make you see the stars and beyond, leaning your head back on his chest as you barrel towards your climax. you feel yourself mere seconds away from reaching, and spencer suddenly pulls his fingers out, making you whine out in protest, “wh- what are you doing?”
spencer grabs your wrist and starts dragging you through the sweaty bodies surrounding you, tightening his grip with a small smirk as he passes a few of the guys you were dancing with earlier. suckers.
he pushes the doors open with a force and while the cool air is attempting to return your body to homeostasis, the anticipation of where he’s going overtakes you, “spence, where are we going wh-“ you cut off your sentence with a gasp as he handles you flush to the door of his car. then it’s just silence for a few moments. no loud bass or weird dudes, just the two of you. the only sound that can be heard are your breaths competing for prominence. you look up at him and focus on the details of his face illuminated by the moonlight, trying to read his expression. his honeyed eyes have fully darkened to a lustful hickory, and suddenly you felt like a gazelle being preyed on by a lion.
he reaches into his pocket and unlocks the car with a soft beep. it’s the focused eyes on you that drive you to open the door, but it’s the subtle silent nod of his head towards the car that makes you move inside waiting for him to join you. he climbs in after you, shutting the door and locking it.
spencer moves to the middle seat and allows his legs to spread open, he taps his thighs and faintly says, “come here.”
you shuffle closer and swing your legs over him, your dress rising up a little as you fully sit on his clothed crotch. and now you realize the corporeality of the moment. it’s like, really real now. all this time pining after the boy genius with no luck and now he’s got you in the backseat of his car and your panties crooked, waiting for you to move. the bravado you wore and so tightly held onto for a majority of the night comes crashing down like a shattered vase, and you’re not sure if you have any more in you to salvage the pieces. you may be a profiler, but try as you might you are not a mind reader, yet you so desperately want to know what he’s thinking. is it too much to ask what this means? will it overwhelm him to say you’ve dreamt about this moment for many nights, and how those dreams went on till the early morning when he’d stay and brush your hair back with a temple kiss. the whispers of sweet nothings sticking to you like honey as you got ready for the day. are these questions you even want to know the answer to?
you may not be a mind reader, but he is dr. spencer reid, who noticed your demeanor change after too long of a silence.
“hey,” he holds your chin delicately to your eyes, “it’s okay if you want to stop, i’m sorry for tak-“
it’s your turn to cut him off, “no! no i, i still want this, i just,” you falter.
“just what, baby?” he coos softly.
it makes tears well up in your eyes, you hope he can’t see them, “i’ve just wanted this for so long, and it’s probably embarrassing that i’m admitting this now of all times, but i don’t know if i can handle this meaning more to me than it does to you.” you confess quietly.
spencer listens to your admission and gingerly resecures his arm behind you, a position he thinks is starting to become second nature. he rubs soft shapes into the small of your back, “what makes you think that?”
“because i basically threw myself at you tonight, and it seems to be the first time you noticed me.” you say halfheartedly. 
“you think i don’t notice you?” he whispers, leaning in to leave soft kisses in the crook of your neck. spencer is dumbfounded, confused at how you reached such a conclusion. but as a man of science, he feels there’s only one way to prove himself. he breathes your name out, “can i show you how much i notice you? please?”
you nod, at least you could commit this moment to memory if it was all you’d have left of him. he presses his lips to yours for the first time that night, your breath faltering as he becomes more feverous with his attacks. slotting his tongue with yours, your hands move up to his silky hair to take purchase in. he lets out a groan as he pulls back from you, “i need to taste you.”
he guides your body to lean back on the center console, the only way his tall figure would be able to accommodate this position. your legs are still split on either side of his legs, using your hands to prop yourself up to watch his movements. he hooks his fingers on the sides of your panties and slowly slides them down, moaning at the way your slick causes resistance as he pulls them off your legs. wrapping his arms under your thighs to lift you up to face level, he places small kisses on your inner thighs as he makes his way to your core. he places a final kiss on your center before licking a long stripe up to your clit. moaning out wantonly, he continues his ministrations and kitten licks all over you, circling back up to your clit after each round.
“spence..” you whine out. he moves his focus to your clit, circling and sucking till you’re squirming in his arms so much has to grip your thighs. your hands are fussing through his hair, gripping and pulling to find something to ground you. spencer then slips his fingers into your core for the second time tonight, and you lose it.
he’s pumping his fingers in and out, that all you can hear is the squelching noises of your cunt. adding another one, you’re unable to stay still anymore, as if you were before.
“oh my fuck, spencer. i’m gonna cu-, cum. please don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop.” you moan out filthy.
spencer unlatches his mouth for a moment, “come for me, baby.”
your orgasm crashes down on you like a wave breaking on the shore. it’s all consuming, leaving you shaking and breathless and he lifts his head from between your legs and you see his chin glistening with you in the moonlight. the sight itself is so pornographic, you can’t help but shuffle back onto his lap to crash your lips back to his, tasting yourself on his tongue. he tangles his hands in your hair as you move yours between you both, unzipping his trousers to palm him through his boxers.
he breakily moans in your ear as you slowly pull back the band to take him out. the sight takes you by surprise, you knew he was big, you felt it on your ass while you were dancing. but seeing how it compared to your hand had you bulging your eyes.
“you’re so big,” you whisper. how the hell was that fitting inside of you?
spencer the mind reader places his hand on top of yours as you lazily stroke him, “we’ll go slow, don’t worry.” he can’t help but feel his ego inflate to the skies, he can’t remember the last time he had someone look intimidated by him.
nodding faintly, you gather the spit in your mouth and let it fall between you both to land on the flushed pink tip. you spread it up and down his length, setting a slow pace that had him moaning expletives in your ear.
“oh-, ohhh, fuck baby. you’re so good at that holy shit,” he says trying to hold himself together. you give him a few more pumps before lifting your hips up to guide him inside you. you move his tip to your entrance, rubbing it teasingly before spencer places his hands on your sides to stabilize you, and slowly sink you down onto him.
the second his tip pushes past your folds, you both moan out in harmony. placing your hands on his shoulders you leverage yourself to sink down further inch by inch, until your core is flush with the base of his thighs.
spencer is a man of many words, maybe too many. but right now the only word he can remember is your name as he watched you take his length whole inch by inch slowly losing any restraint he had left. the pressure his cock had inside of you was heavenly. you’d never felt so full, and you could tell he was trying so hard to stay still as you adjusted above him.
when you bottom out spencer throws his head back against the seat, “oh that’s it, good girl,” you clenched around him. “you okay?”
you nod in response, ignoring the way the term of endearment sent flutters to your heart, and attempt an experimental rock of your hips, causing spencer’s head to whip up and meet your lust blown eyes with his own. he adjusts his hands on the sides of your thighs and starts helping you move up and down on his length, setting a brutally slow pace.
you rest your head and moan into the crook of his neck as he continues his movements, “spencer, please, more, i can take it.”
he still can’t believe what’s happening right now, all those days he spent thinking about you in the bullpen, at home, everywhere really, and here you were begging on top of him to fuck you good.
“you still think i don’t notice you?” he says into your ear, “i have dreamt about what you’d look like bouncing on my cock, and you are blowing any idea i had out of the water.”
you whimper as he continues, “and when i’m not thinking about ruining you, i am in awe at how you walk through life. you bring so much joy everywhere you go, it’s a blessing to be able to experience you.” he says through shaky breaths.
the praise goes straight to core, with some traveling to your heart again, and you’re not sure how much longer you can hold on before you unravel physically and emotionally.
his hands are guiding you up and down at a harder pace now, “so,” thrust. “you still think,” thrust, “i don’t notice you?” he thrusts into you once more and holds you down, making sure you’re looking directly at him, “it was never an option to brush past you, you are everything to me. i didn’t know how to show that without overwhelming you. i’m sorry.”
tears well up in your eyes again, spencer notices this time and presses a small kiss on your forehead. all your senses feel like they’re in overdrive, unable to comprehend anything right now. your skin feels like it’s on fire as he rolls your hips faster to meet his ruts.
“spence, i- i’m so close.” you whine desperately. 
he slips his hand between you both to rub your clit, “i know baby, i’ve got you. let go for me.”
his words were enough to break the dam, your second climax of the night hurling towards you. the white hot feeling overtook your whole body, shaking and clenching above him. your grip on him was threateningly vicious, probably leaving deep crescent marks in the nape of his shoulders. you wish the euphoria would last forever if it meant having spencer like this. as you came down from your high, the two of you were still moving together, slowly rocking your hips to meet each other. once you were grounded again, you pushed through the sensitivity in your core to rise up on his length, just barely leaving the tip in before you slid back down fast and hard, now focusing on spencer reaching his peak.
“oh jesus, fuck.” spencer moaned out brokenly.
“come on spence you can do it,” you taunted as you clenched down, “come inside me, make a mess of me please.” a rush of confidence flowed through as you whispered into his ear, and spencer held your hips to help you bounce faster on him.
spencer let out a loud groan as you felt the hot spurts coat your insides, he was leaving matching crescent marks on the sides of your hips as the ones on his shoulders, making sure all of him was left in you. feeling him soften inside, you remained on his lap with him sheathed in you. you both are breathing heavily, leaning back to hopefully give you both some relief from the sex filled air. looking around the car you realize that all the windows are fogged up and let out a tiny giggle.
“what’s so funny?” he looks up at you slightly amused and very out of breath.
“no it’s just, the windows are such a dead giveaway for what we just did in here.” 
“eh, i don’t really care what people think.”
“gasp, dr. reid wants to let the world know he has car sex with random girls?”
he leans in to bite your neck playfully, “random? did nothing i said during all that register for you?”
you yelp and attempt to play dumb, “actually i don’t remember a word, you might have to jog my memory. maybe even recreate the circumstances to help with cementing it. i read about situational memorization where certain scenarios are easily remembered when there’s a big event to anchor it to.”
he swears he could’ve melted on the spot at you explaining a concept you’d read about to him, “careful sweetheart, calling it a big event might inflate my ego a little too high.”
“i mean, i can tell it worked,” you tease as you feel him harden inside of you again, “so tell me genius, how many times does a scenario have to happen for me to remember the information?”
“i guess we’ll have to find out, don’t we?”
276 notes · View notes
theetherealbloom · 2 days
Text
CLOSE TO YOU
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Summary: A commute crush turned meet cute with Pedro Pascal
Paring: Pedro Pascal x Fem!Reader
Warnings: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, Commute Crush, TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, Slight Angst, Meet-Cute, Swearing, Anxiety, Surrounded by A-Listers, Cheesy Dialogue, Romance, Kissing, Alcohol, Club/Bar Setting
Word Count: 2.2k
A/N: Happy Close To You release day! I’ve waited for this song since 2018 LMAO. Usually, I don’t write about real-life people, but I really can’t help it since this song is SO Pedro Pascal-coded. Just know that this is fictional and if this isn’t for you, you don’t have to read it! Keep scrolling :> And for those who stay to read this delusion of a fic, hey girlieeee I see you <3 
P.S. I’ll be doing a bunch of fics related to Gracie’s new album that comes out next week!
Song: Close To You by Gracie Abrams
| Main Masterlist |
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It all began as a harmless crush on your morning commute. The New York subway was your daily stage, a bustling backdrop as you headed to meet a client. As a social media coordinator, your days revolved around managing high-profile partnerships, coordinating with celebrities and Instagram influencers to craft campaigns that seamlessly blended their brands with consumer appeal. 
But today was different. And of course, you recognized him. 
You noticed him immediately – Pedro Pascal, seated right in front of you. Lost in his book, with a iced quad espresso in a venti cup with extra ice and six shots cradled in his hand, he exuded an effortless charm. His dark, curly hair framed those whisky eyes that glanced up and met yours. Just for a second, you were frozen in time, captivated by his gaze. You quickly looked away, not wanting to seem rude, yet feeling the familiar flutter of a crush brewing.
Did he smile? You swore he did, and your heart skipped a beat. The train doors opened, announcing your stop. Reluctantly, you stepped off, joining the throng of commuters spilling onto the platform. As you ascended the steps, the city's vibrant energy washed over you, but your mind was elsewhere.
Walking towards the restaurant for your client meeting, your thoughts kept drifting back to him. The way his presence ignited a spark within you, a longing that seemed almost irrational. Here you were, burning for a man who didn't even know your name. And yet, in the anonymity of the subway, a fleeting connection had stirred something deep inside you.
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It had been a few weeks since that subway encounter, the memory of Pedro Pascal’s whisky eyes lingering in your mind. In the meantime, you had started managing social media for Sarah Paulson, whose busy schedule had her juggling multiple projects and interviews.
Sarah's latest project, a Broadway play titled Appropriate, was garnering critical acclaim and several award nominations. Your job was to promote her involvement, ensuring every post captured the essence of her talent and the play’s success. Though you hadn't been working with her long, you were pleasantly surprised when she invited you to watch one of her performances.
That night, you arrived early at the Belasco Theatre, adorned in your favorite long dress and practical flats, mindful of the commute back to your apartment. Ushered to a seat close to the front, you settled into the plush red velvet, feeling a mix of excitement and anticipation. As the audience trickled in, you busied yourself with casual texts to friends before putting your phone away, taking in the theatre's intricate architecture and the stage's grandeur.
Moments later, an usher guided someone to the seat next to you. Curiosity made you glance to your right, and there he was—Pedro Pascal, settling in beside you. Your eyes widened in recognition before you quickly looked away, a quiet panic bubbling in your stomach and tightening your chest. You fidgeted with your fingers, a nervous habit, trying to quell the flurry of emotions and resist the urge to stare.
As the house lights dimmed and the show began, you couldn’t help but steal occasional glances at him. The man who had unknowingly captured your heart was now mere inches away. The performance on stage was captivating, but you found yourself equally entranced by the man sitting next to you. In the soft glow of the theatre lights, you wondered if he remembered that brief moment on the subway, and if fate had just given you a second chance to connect.
When the show ended and the cast took their bows, the theatre erupted in applause. Pedro, sitting right next to you, cheered loudly when Sarah stood with the rest of the cast on stage. His genuine enthusiasm for his friend made you smile, and as you glanced at him, he looked down at you with a radiant grin. 
Your heart raced, and for a moment, you felt a concrete connection that was almost tangible. Both of you opened your mouths to speak, but just then, an usher cleared their throat, drawing your attention.
“Mr. Pascal, Sarah Paulson is asking for you backstage… if you would follow me, please,” the usher said, causing Pedro to hesitate, torn between staying with you and fulfilling his friend's request.
“Uh,” Pedro began, glancing between you and the usher. Seeing his dilemma, you made the decision for him. Gathering your things, you offered a polite smile to both Pedro and the starstruck usher.
As Pedro glanced back at the usher, you seized the moment to make your getaway. You might have heard him call out, "Wait!" but you didn't stop. Stepping out onto the bustling street, the city lights of Broadway twinkled around you, a stark contrast to the growing ache in your heart.
The possibility of what might have been gnawed at you, the fleeting connection slipping through your fingers. A voice in the back of your mind echoed doubts, whispering that you didn't quite belong in this world of beautiful, glamorous people. You tried to shake off the feeling, but the bittersweet sting lingered.
You begin to walk away from the theatre, weaving through the crowd lined up for autographs by the backstage door. Just as you're about to cross the street to catch your subway, your phone vibrates in your clutch. Stepping aside, you see Sarah Paulson’s name flashing on the screen.
Shit. 
You quickly answer, praying your voice doesn't betray your nerves. "Hello?"
"Hey!" Sarah's voice is warm and enthusiastic. "How are you? Did you enjoy the show?"
"Yeah, I did! You were absolutely incredible," you say, offering genuine praise and shifting your weight to your other leg.
"Thank you so much! Oh, where are you right now? Are you still nearby? I had told the usher to bring you backstage with Pedro, but it seems like they forgot."
"Oh, um, yeah, I'm near the backstage door," you reply, glancing at the crowd still waiting for autographs.
"Perfect! Some of us are going out for drinks later, and you are welcome to join us!" Sarah’s excitement is infectious.
You stammer, "Uh, I..."
"It'll be great! I promise. I'll introduce you to everyone. You're my best social media manager by far."
Taking a deep breath, you muster, "Okay, yeah, I'd love to come."
"Great! I'll send you the address of where we're headed. We'll meet you there!" Sarah says, her smile practically audible.
"Alright, see you soon." You end the call with a click, clutching your phone tightly as you take another deep breath to steady your nerves and keep the world from spinning.
A ping alerts you to a new message. Glancing at the notification, you read the address and know exactly where to go. With a mixture of excitement and anxiety, you put away your phone and head towards the bar, the city's lights guiding your way.
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It took you a while to figure out how to get there, but eventually, you arrive at the bar. As you step inside, a warm hum fills your body, the lights and the pulse of music thrumming through the room. The smoky, dark atmosphere feels electric, bodies moving in a rhythm that seems to make the air itself burn. 
Under the soft pink light, everything seems slightly surreal, yet oddly perfect. You spot Sarah, who immediately pulls you into a warm hug, which you happily accept. As you exchange pleasantries near their table, you feel at ease, enjoying the camaraderie. 
Then, suddenly, you sense a shift. You glance up and see Pedro looking right back at you. Your heart skips a beat as your eyes meet, and in that instant, the crowded room seems to fade away. 
There he is, the man who had unknowingly captured your heart, his gaze steady and intense. As Sarah guides you over to introduce the rest of her friends, castmates, and of course, Pedro, you feel a pull between the two of you.
You muster the courage to speak, telling him your name, and even through the loud speakers and endless chatter, you hear him say your name with a breathless relief. Finally meeting the mystery girl he saw on the subway seems to have stirred something within him.
When you shake hands, there's a lingering touch, a silent acknowledgment of the connection between you. You can't help but duck your head a little, feeling shy under the intensity of his gaze. 
"Nice to finally meet you," Pedro says, his voice soft yet filled with warmth.
"Likewise," you reply, your own voice tinged with a hint of nervousness.
In that brief exchange, you both sense something unspoken, a silent understanding that this meeting is more than just chance. And as the night unfolds, amidst the laughter and music, you find yourself drawn to him, unable to resist the magnetic pull of fate.
As Sarah goes to mingle with the rest of the group, you both stand there, caught in a moment suspended in time. The air crackles with anticipation, and you can't shake the feeling that if you asked him to, he'd give up everything just to be close to you.
"You have a way of lighting up a room," he says, his voice low and full of sincerity as he leans in closer.
A blush creeps up your cheeks at his words, and you find yourself smiling despite yourself. "And you have a way of making me feel like I'm the only one in it," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.
As the night wears on, you find yourself completely enchanted by Pedro. His easy charm and quick wit captivate you, and it's as if the two of you are in your own little world, separate from the chaos of the club.
He tells you stories about his acting career and his passion for music. You share your dreams and aspirations, feeling a sense of comfort in his presence that you've never experienced with anyone before.
Throughout the night, there are moments where your hands brush against each other or your eyes meet in a lingering gaze. Each time it happens, a spark of electricity shoots through your body, igniting a fire within you.
At one point, he leans in closer to whisper in your ear over the loud music. "I have a confession to make," he says, his warm breath tickling your skin.
You turn to face him, your heart racing with anticipation.
He chuckles softly, the sound sending a delightful shiver down your spine. "I can't deny that you've caught my attention since the moment I saw you on the subway."
The admission sends your heart racing, and you can't help but feel a surge of boldness. "Funny, because you've been on my mind ever since," you confess, meeting his gaze with newfound confidence.
His eyes light up with a mixture of surprise and delight, and you can't help but be drawn to the way his lips curl into a playful smirk. "Is that so?" he teases, his voice a low, husky whisper that sends a shiver down your spine.
You nod, feeling a rush of exhilaration coursing through your veins. "Absolutely," you reply, unable to tear your gaze away from his captivating stare.
Before you can say another word, he takes a step closer, his movements slow and deliberate, like a dance choreographed just for the two of you. Your breath catches in your throat as his hand brushes against your neck, sending tingles of anticipation racing across your skin.
And then, in a moment that feels like it's been plucked straight from a romance film, his lips meet yours in a soft, tender kiss. Time seems to stand still as you melt into his embrace, the world around you fading away until there's nothing left but the two of you.
As you pull away, breathless and exhilarated, a sense of euphoria washes over you, like a chemical override in ultraviolet. "I just wanna be close to you," he murmurs, his words sending a thrill through your entire being. A smile dances at the corners of your lips as you revel in the electric connection between you.
"And you could be mine tonight," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper, the words tinged with a hint of playful flirtation.
He chuckles softly, his eyes sparkling with affection as he leans in closer. "I think I could get used to being yours," he says, his voice filled with warmth and sincerity, melting away any lingering doubts or fears.
He can't wait to fall in love with you.
270 notes · View notes
thehusbandoden · 3 days
Text
He Doesn't Realize How Much he Needs You Until You're Gone Part One- Dabi
A/n: 100th writing I've posted :3
I hope you like it haha.
General info:
Genre: pure angst \\ wc: 2,425 \\ female reader \\ posted: 06/06/24
Warnings!: arguing, neglect, pure angst, crying, yelling, screaming, hurt, feeling betrayed, injuries (reader gets burned- not by Dabi), pushing your partner away (both parties), feeling worthless, feelings being discarded, mention of therapy, thoughts of leaving, thoughts of death, fear of a loved one dying, numbing your emotions, Dabi raging (burning things), leaving, partner being very tsundere, mention of blood (Dabi's tears), regret, guilt, becoming a husk, I think that's all haha. Pls lmk if I miss anything! <33
I will post two endings, one with angst and one with fluff. Lmk if you want to be tagged!
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Tears roll down your cheeks as you spam Dabi with texts. You had just gotten into an argument with your beloved when he stormed out, cursing you out.
"Please." You quietly plead, your voice broken with sobs. "Don't leave me."
All of your texts remain unread. All your calls declined. You were having a panic attack by now, yet nothing seemed to get the villain's attention.
Just as you're about to completely lose it, you hear footsteps. Your freeze, listening with an indescribable intensity. The window opens. Your eyes dart to the activity.
Familiar black combat boots peek through the gap, falling to the floor. Your eyes travel up the familiar torn jeans, the worn out t-shirt, the burned neck, the crooked frown, and finally to the comforting turquoise eyes.
You let out a sob of relief as you see your Dabi standing in front of you. He looks down at you, grimacing.
"What happened to you?" He scoffed.
"I-I was worried." Your voice was hoarse and broken from your sobs.
"Worried?" He grunts. "You're more idiotic than I thought." He groans, grabbing the sandwich you made before the argument.
"I-I thought you were leaving me."
"I'm not gonna leave ya. No matter how annoying you are." He scoffs.
Annoying....
Your mind repeats the word several times, your face stiffening as you numb your emotions.
"Sorry..." you mumble.
"Don't start that pouty crap." He scoffs, shooting you a glare. "I'm tired of you being such a bother. I have so much to deal with. Your pathetic emotions isn't on my list."
You quietly fold your arms, moving to the couch. You watch Dabi silently, taking deep breaths to contain your emotions.
"I'm leaving for a mission tonight. I'll be back before next week."
His voice was less harsh, but nowhere near as warm as usual.
"O-okay.." you mumble, fidgeting with your sleeves. He rolls his eyes with a scoff, stomping into your shared bedroom.
~~
"I'm leaving now, brat."
You scramble to your feet, swiftly moving to his side. You lean up, hoping for a kiss as you ever so slightly pucker your lips.
You know your husband. He will notice... won't he?
His cold eyes move down to your lips. He grunts, turning around and leaving. "See ya later, brat. Don't be pouting when I get home, you hear?" He mutters, hauling himself through the window.
He always came in and out through the back window... it would be bad if your neighbors caught a highly wanted villain in your apartment.. hence the sneaking.
You've lived together for over a year now, you've moved four times now.
"Wait-" you call out, reaching out to your husband. His cold gaze burns into you.
"Um- a-aren't you going to... going to.."
"Spit it out, woman."
"Aren't you going to.. kiss me?" You blush. Dabi scoffs.
"Don't expect needles privileges after your attitude yesterday."
"Attitude?! Do you mean our argument?" You protest.
"Here it goes again." He groans. "You're always complaining and refusing to take accountability."
"Thats nonsense." You clench your fists, trying to suppress your emotions. Tears burned your eyes, but you refused to let them shed.
"What's nonsense is your attitude. You can't even keep me around now can ya? Your attitude always drives me off! I wonder why I ever married you in the first place. You give me attitude and then act like I'm the victim. Pathetic."
Tears well in your eyes. You bite your lip. "I won't ask for anymore from you." You whisper.
"Good. Keep it that way." He lands outside, shrugging his shoulder before walking off with an nonchalant attitude.
You close the window, leaning against the wall as you try to slow down your breathing. Tears fall down your cheeks as you curl in a ball, feeling hurt, angry, betrayed, and worthless.
The days pass by as you wait for Dabi to return. You didn't hear from him, and he was gone far longer than he said he would be. Every text was left unread, every call ignored, every voice-mail left un-listened to.
Eventually, you stopped trying. You got a therapist, and ended up deciding on what was best for you. When he comes home, if he doesn't treat you better, if he doesn't even listen or try to change, its better for you to leave. Even if it was just for a little bit.
Days turn into weeks, and weeks blur into months. Many nights you lay awake, doubting yourself. Doubting your worth.
It killed you inside. Your self esteem plummeted. You stopped going to therapy. All you wanted was your husband. Your husband's love, his validation, his touch, his mere presence.
Curled in a ball, you stared at the wall with a blank expression. Horrid scenarios went through your head as you imagine your poor husband alone, injured, and dying.
Tears blur your vision as you imagine him already dead, his loving soul leaving this world without even telling you goodbye. You hadn't even gotten a kiss. Or an I love you.
The tears don't stop. And they didn't as the hours slowly pass by. You felt like ripping your hair out, screaming, hitting, throwing things- anything to get your mind off of your husband's doomed death.
The window opens. Your eyes dart towards the unlocked glass pane. Combat boots pokes through. You gasp in relief.
A worn, exhausted, injured, and in pain figure follows the boots. Revealing your beloved, Dabi. You let out a small sob, launching yourself at him.
You close your eyes in relief as you feel his warm chest, the familiar staples bringing you comfort. As you move to open your eyes you feel a hand to your shoulder, your backside hitting the floor.
You look up in shock, Dabi looking down at you in disgust.
"I thought you said you wouldn't ask anymore from me." He scoffed. You grab your arm, holding it to your chest.
"I-" you start.
"I really don't want to hear it. Just let me rest." He groans. You slowly lift yourself off of the floor, silently moving into your shared bedroom.
You curl in a ball, hiding under the sheets. You hear him walking around outside of the room, silently listening. Tears blur your vision once more. You cover your mouth, tightly closing your eyes.
You shake with sobs, doing your very best to stay quiet. You can't help but feel worthless. Tears stream down your cheeks as you listen to your husband's familiar footsteps, glad he's safe at the minimum...
Hours pass by as you cry yourself to sleep, your stray tears staining your cheeks.
~~
Dabi's POV
Dabi strolls into your shared bedroom. "Oi, make me a sandwich will ya?" He grunts. Yiu don't move, irritating him.
He moves to your side, snatching the blanket. "I said-" he stops as he sees you asleep, tears stained on your cheeks. A strange pain dtabs at his chest. Shaking it off, he drops the blanket.
Staring at you, he gently cups your cheek, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. He pulls away, caressing your cheek. "I've missed you. Even though you're a pain." He whispers before pulling away.
~~
Your POV
The next morning
You blink open your eyes, rubbing at the lingering sleepiness. Yawning, your eyes lazily run over the room. The curtains were hiding the small bedroom from sunlight, the entire room encompassed in darkness.
Sitting up, you rub your puffy eyes once more. Dabi was no where near sight. Sighing, you absent-mindedly trace the bruise on your arm where you fell.
Your heart aches as you remember your therapist's words. This isn't healthy. It needs to stop...
The door opens, revealing Dabi. "Finally awake, sleepy head?" His voice wasn't the cold growl like last night, but it was no where near gentle.
You nod, timidly. Afraid of upsetting him once more.
"I'm starving. Want to make breakfas..?" This was his way of asking you to. If you agreed, there would be no thank you, for you "wanted" to.
If you said no, he would be irritated for a while. He won't cook, no matter how many times you beg him to while you're away, so he will oftenly go without eating if you're unavailable or refuse to cook.
Biting your lip, you nod. He gives you a short grimace, something similar to a small smile before walking out. Standing up, you yawn, stretching your arms. Your eyes ache from all the crying, but you push that to the back of your mind.
You walk out to the kitchen, beginning to cook. You feel Dabi's eyes on you, but you don't pay much attention. You were guarded, unsure why he's acting so differently this morning. Cautious of unleashing the monster once more.
"Dabi?" You murmur. He grunts in response.
"I talked to a therapist when you were on your mission..."
"A therapist? What for? Did you leak my identity?!" He snaps.
"No, I didn't. I was really struggling for a while and needed someone to help me."
"So you relied on a stranger?!"
"You wouldn't answer. I called, texted, I left voice-mails."
"Oh so you think that your crappy attempt to get my attention justifies getting help from a stranger!? Was he a guy?! Were you sleeping with him?!"
"What?! No! I would never!"
"Then what were you doing with them?!"
"I was getting help for my mental state, Dabi!"
"Oh poor baby, you think being lonely justifies that?!"
"You're being unreasonable. Dabi she told me it was best for me to leave you if you keep treating me like this. I'm telling you this so you can wake up and change. This isn't okay." You snap, taking a deep breath to calm yourself.
"Leave me?!" He laughs. "You wouldn't. You can't live without me."
"You've been making me live without you for months, Dabi. You don't tell me you love me, you don't show me affection, I'm lucky just to have you not yell at me!"
"You're being dramatic." He spits. "You're a spoiled brat. I've been working my arse off for you and you're this ungrateful."
"You've been working for revenge! It's not for me, it never was! I have my own job that pays for all or our bills Dabi!"
"You're listening to a stranger's advice and plan on leaving me?!"
"Only if you don't change Dabi!"
"You knew what you were getting into when you married me, y/n. Stop playing the victim."
"You didn't treat me like this when we first married."
"Keep telling yourself that." He spits, putting his jacket on.
"Where are you going?!" You cry, the food far from recovery, you hazardously shove the pan into the sink, burning your hand. You cry out in pain.
"Y/n!" Dabi yells, hurrying your side. He aggressively graps your hand, making you cry out once more. "Idiot! Why did you hurt yourself like that?!"
"Just leave me alone!" You try to yank your hand away but Dabi yanks it back.
"Stay still!"
"Let me go Dabi!"
"Y/n just sit still!!"
You push him back, protectively pressing your injured hand to your chest. "I said to let me go!"
Dabi's face scrunches up as he looks down at you. After a few silent moments he turns away. "I'm over you and your dramatic act." He mumbled.
Walking to the door, he pulls his combat boots on. "Don't leave!" You cry, coddling your burning hand.
He ignores you, moving to the window. "Dabi! If you leave without us finishing this I'm leaving."
"Go for it. I don't need you. I never did." He sneered.
Your heart throbbed as your beloved husband jumped through the open window, not looking back. Falling to your knees you break into sobs.
You cry over the absence of your beloved, you cry over the pain, and you cry over the dreaded feeling of being completely alone.
You don't stop for hours. It goes on and on until your completely out of tears, numb to the feeling of utter loss. Your hand aches. Your eyes aches. Your heart aches.
It all just- hurts.
You slowly drift to sleep, the cold kitchen floor being the only thing that grounds you from the pain of betrayal.
~~
Dabi's POV
Three days later.
Dropping from the window Dabi nonchalantly glances around the room. It seemed unusually cold an empty. Paying it no mind, Dabi hazardly tossed his jacket and boots towards the front door.
"Y/n, I'm home." He calls, running his hands through his greasy hair, his roots were growing out. Rolling his eyes, he opens the fridge. It was... empty.
"Y/n!" He calls once more, huffing in annoyance. "I get home and can't even eat?!"
No response. "For Pete's sake you petty brat! Get out here!"
Silence.
Anger fills his being before he remembers your words before he left. A strange pain shoots through him, his eyes widen as he runs into your shared bedroom. Everything of yours was... gone.
His heart quickens as he searches the entire house for you. Nothing. Not even a trace. His breathing quickens as he pulls at his hair. Taking a shuddering breathe, he shakes his head.
"You'll regret this y/n... you'll be back and I'll laugh in your face!" He chuckles, losing a bit of his sanity. "I DON'T NEED YOU! YOU'LL SEE!" He screams, activating his quirk as he knocks over a chair. He let's out a scream, lighting anything and everything in sight on fire.
Months pass by. Dabi has turned into a shell, simply surviving. Work, sleep, work, sleep, work... a "good" day is when he remembers to eat or drink. A shower or change of clothes is out of mind.
Walking through the streets, he walks inside the charred apartment. Stepping inside, he closes the door. He doesn't care about his identity anymore, or anything really.
His turquoise eyes scan the apartment, his eyes landing on a photo of you and him. His heart strangely aches once more. "Y/n..." he murmured, his fists clenching.
Falling to his knees, he lets out a broken sob. His eyes burn, tears would be running if they could. Blood drips from his charred tear ducts. He falls to the floor face first, nothing but his beloved wife on his mind.
How could he be so stupid?! How could he be so utterly retarted?! He lost the one thing in this world that actually loved him. Grasping his phone, he dials your number.
Please. Please pick up... please... I need you...
~~~~~
Part two (coming soon) | alt. ending (coming soon) lmk if you want to be tagged!! <33
Dabi's masterlist | Masterlist | Navigation | Tips<3
Reblogs make me smile (bonus points if you tag) and comments make my day!!
~~~~~
Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way, minus reblogging. 
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Call Me When You Need Me (Ellie Williams x Reader) (Fluff)
Short Summary: When your best friend Ellie has problem sleeping you come over to help her. Like you always do!
Author´s Note: Another random idea I got that I thought would be waaay shorter. It´s not that long, but it's longER than I planned to. Istg, the universe wants me to write +5k fanfics. Everythime I come up with an idea for a blur (cause they're way quicker to write) I end up adding so much to it you can't even call it that. Anyway, hope you'll enjoy just a super cute little story! (I'm the person who tries to fill the "ellie x reader"-tag with stuff that isn't smut. Like I didn't just post two smuts right after each other a week ago.................)
Also! Ellie lives in the same house as Joel in this. Even though I'm well aware she has her own "hut" in the game
Words: 1473
(Pictures aren´t mine! I found them on Pinterest)
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The empty streets felt oddly peaceful as you wandered down the oh, so familiar road. Only the streetlights lighting up your path as your sleepy feet stumbled on the sidewalk. It wasn’t unusual to find you walking down these streets at 3 am. You found yourself in this situation a little too often. Not that you complain! When your best friend needs you, she needs you. The crispy night air forced you to cross your arms in order to keep some warmth. Despite being near fall you decided to skip out on a jacket and just go with your outwashed hoodie. Big mistake. But it’s not that bad. Though you’d lie if you´d say you didn’t miss your warm, cozy bed. Just the thought was enough to put a drowsy smile on your face. You continued to kick rocks you stumbled upon on the sidewalk as you, trying to not hit any of the parked cars beside you, cause you know.......karma. Soon you noticed the familiar fence you helped painting white one summer. By the looks of it, it could use a little touch-up. Getting onto the lawn you quickly made your way to the back. The house was completely pitch black apart from one single window on the right corner.
You walked over to the corner of the porch, making sure to sneak a few glances through the dark windows, just to make sure Joel wasn’t up to grab a glass of water or something. But you’re just met with your own reflection in the surprisingly clean windows. You jumped up on the fence that tastefully decorated the porch to reach the edge of the roof. You took a sturdy grip around the aged wood before pushing yourself up the brick plated surface. This was nothing new to you. It was more of a routine. Getting called over to your friends house at least five times a week you kinda start to come up with a few tricks to make your arrival more smooth. Why are you climbing the house like you're a fucking monkey? you may as. The first time Ellie called me over you both thought Joel would be pissed if he knew. So you came up with the brilliant idea, with your life at risk, to climb up from the back. Yes, Ellie tired to prevent you from doing it, but you're too stubborn. She knows that damn well. And yes, you're pretty sure you've got a six-pack from all the times you've pushed your whole body onto the porch roof. But by the morning neither of you considered Joel's daily visit. So when he came to tell Ellie it's breakfast he was sure surprised to see you laying there, holding her. But he wasn't mad.....not at all. And when it was time for you to leave he made sure to throw out "You can take the door next time!". Despite that you continued to take your not-so-convenient way into Ellie's room. You saw it more as a fun thing, and you like to believe Ellie enjoys to too. Even thought she mumbled a "You're so dumb" before giving you a welcome hug.
You carfully got up from your crunched up position, being careful not to strainght out your back too much or you'll probably fall down and break your neck. At this height you could outline more details in the only lit up room, as if you didn’t know it by memory. You noticed the small crack Ellie always made sure to leave every night incase she got the urge that’s currently the reason you’re here. She didn’t want to have to get up and open it when you got there. Also, she’s been very clear that you can come over whenever you feel like it. Day as night. You used your finger to loop around the thick glass and push it up enough to give you the opportunity to get a better grip. You slid the glass into the slit, just enough to squeeze yourself through. The noice made Ellie quickly turn her head from her position on her bed. Just the look of you made her smile. "You came!" she happily exclaimed. You giggled "Of course! You said you had problem sleeping”.
Your beaten up sneakers barely got to touch the floor before Ellie threw herself at you, slamming you into the nearby wall. She continued to hug you, tighten up her grip. You chuckled, "Hey, hey! You shouldn't try to mush me like ground beef. Who´s gonna keep you company then?". Ellie let go off you and took a step back, giving you the chance to get away from the wall. "I'm sure you can take it" she snarky remarked "Weren't you the one who's got a six-pack" she sarcastically asked while slapping her hand against your clothed stomach. "Ow!" you screaked while backing way from her hand. Ellie just chucked before making her way back to her bed, signaling you to take place beside her. You let the strap of your backpack slide down your arms before leaving it by the end of Ellie's bed, to then quickly kick off your lazy tied shoes before crawling up the comfy bed.
You let out a deep sigh as your back hit the mattress, "I´ve told you to just call me whenever you need me". "I know" Ellie mumbled before looking to the side, "But you deserve to sleep too". "I never sleep as good as I do in your bed" you reassured her as. She smiled a little, but she wasn't convinced. She's tried to fall asleep by herself when she has one of these...nights, but it's impossible! There's been times where she hasn't called you even thought she should have. Just cause she feels bad for forcing you out of bed. She never told you this or you'd kill her. She's lost count of all the times you've told her to just call you when she feels down or can't sleep.
You place your hands behind your head, looking up at the glow-in-the-dark stickers Ellie swore she'd get rid off, but hasn't "had the time to". But you swore she was lying. She's always been such a bad liar. But you think it's adorable, so you don´t mind. "I swear I'm getting us a house someday. That way you wouldn't have to call me whenever you have problem sleeping", Ellie smirked at you. "Yeah?" she asked while shooting herself closer to your laying from. "Yep! Then you could just come over to my room" you frowned a little "Or we might share the same bedroom...". You shrug "Or I mean, we're sleeping in the same bed now, so we could save a lot of money if we just get one". Ellie smiled at the thought but soon her face fell a little "How would that work when you bring a girl over?". You shot your head to give her a confused face "What the fuck, Ellie?" you grabbed a pillow from behind you to hit her playfully "I don´t even bring that many girls over!". "Suuure" Ellie playfully rolled her eyes while wearing that shit-eating grin.
You huffed before pushing her back against the bed so you could straddle her. Ellie had to stop herself from blushing at the sudden contact, but she's pretty sure you'd still notice if you weren't busy continuing hitting her with the pillow. You giggle "You play me out to be some type of slut!". She just shrugged "Maybe you are". You huffed once more, louder this time, before getting off Ellie's lap with a defeated look. "Fuck you, Ellie" you mumbled before throwing the pillow at her. She just laughs as she catches it and put it back to its original place. "Should we get to bed now? You know, the reason I'm here?". "Oh!" Ellie quickly adjusted herself "Yeah, that'd be nice". You grabbed the cover that was messily tossed to the side and placed it over you to. "You want me to read you a bed time story?". Ellie laughed "Fuck you, (y/n)". You smirked as you reached over her to turn off the lamp on her beside table. The feeling of your body being pressed against her made it hard for Ellie to focus, but thank god you soon got back to your previous position behind her.
You wrapped your arms around her frame before pulling her into your embrace. Transferring your warmth onto her. “You don’t have to come here every time, you know?” Ellie clarified. “No, I know” you answered “But I want to” you added before burring your face in the nape of her neck, automatically squeeze her torso a little tighter. Ellie couldn’t help but release a relaxed sigh, finally at peace.
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kaprisvn · 19 hours
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So I read Starlit Skies...
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Woah look at me posting not a whole 5 months later😲⁉️⁉️
Hey y'all back with another banger this time with the wonderful fic Starlit Skies - Written by @nebuladreamz <3 <3
I read it like a week ago and omg let me tell you it was actually amazing. It's incredibly well written and I thoroughly enjoyed every second of reading it. Go show the author some love over on their Blog (where they also make awesome art for the fic) over here~
I'll probably make a render in the near future for it lol but I'm a little busy with work rn :3
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sourrpatched · 3 days
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A Haechan birthday post :)
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lee donghyuck x gf!reader
(500 words)
genre; fluff fluff and more fluff, my first writing pls be nice <\3
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“psst hyuckie.” You tried your hardest to wake your boyfriend from his very deep sleep. He laid with his face turned away from you. It was always so sweet to see how peaceful he looked while he was deep in sleep, especially when you knew he had a hard time getting rest at night.
“Hyuck.” You rose your voice ever so slightly to see if that would get him to budge. It did not.
At yet another failed attempt you sighed. You placed his birthday cake down on the counter before resorting to shaking him to get him to wake up. “DONGHYUCK” He groaned at your loud voice and grabbed his pillow to try and block out the sound of your voice.
“Donghyuck please,” You said while continuing to shake him. “I’m trying to be really romantic right now.” Now it was his turn to sigh. He took the pillow off and looked directly at you noticing how your eyes glanced over at the cake.
A smile broke out onto his face once he realized exactly what the cake was for. He grabbed your arms and pulled you onto the bed with him.
“What are you doing?” You managed to squeak out as he wrapped both arms and legs around you. “My baby is so cute she got a whole cake for me just to show me how much she loves me.” He said into your neck.
“Yes, I did actually. So I would appreciate if you could get up so you could blow out the candles and we can celebrate your birthday together.” You said though he was so obviously not really listening.
“How about we just stay like this in bed right now,” He lifts his head from your neck and looks at you. “I think the best way I can spend my birthday right now is with us two lying like this.” He said while sneaking his arm around to interlock your fingers.
You tried to turn your head away, slightly embarrassed by his shameless comment but he had only grabbed your face to meet his with his other hand.
“Why all of a sudden?” You pouted. He laughed at your expression. “Cause really I think you’re the best gift I could ever have.”
“Well now you’re just being corny,” You teased.
“Ah really?” He said before glancing at your lips.
“Yes,” You said trying to hold back your smile.
“but you love me for it anyway.” He looked into your eyes once more. There was nothing in the world you could ever love more than him. He was your person.
“I do,” You say finally breaking into a full smile.
He leaned into you meeting his lips with yours. It was always so perfect kissing Donghyuck. If there was anything that could snap you out of your many thoughts it would be him. After all he was both your biggest strength and weakness.
You broke apart from the kiss taking a breath before saying, “I love you hyuck.”
“I love you more.”
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Author’s Note; Quite honestly I wanted to write a quick little wip for his bday and also to help with the hyuck brain rot i’ve had for the past week 😭🙏 this is my first EVER writing so if it sounds that bad it probably is but i’m trying here 💔 also this is kinda late into his b-day but i hope u can enjoy nonetheless :) also if u like this pls support my future SMAU i could post any day now 🤓
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animatedjen · 2 days
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What's some stuff you're really hoping to see in Jedi 3 (either narratively or gameplay wise)?
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Oh I'm so glad you asked this 🙌 Because I have THOUGHTS.
Gonna put everything under the cut so this doesn't clog up the feed with a wall of text (whoops.) Some of these ideas I hope to create concept art for, after I replace/fix my very cranky thirteen-year-old tablet. Anyway let’s start with gameplay!
Gameplay!
Maintaining Cal's abilities: Survivor handled this beautifully by keeping many of the skills learned in Fallen Order, instead of undoing Cal's growth from the first game. I think it'll be trickier to keep this momentum into Jedi 3 (the skill tree has gotten so large!) but story reasons could push Cal towards new types of abilities instead of bloating the current options.
More synergy between the lightsaber stances: I like all the stances in Survivor and it'd be A) disappointing to lose any of them, but B) overwhelming to add MORE combat styles. Being able to flow between the stances more fluidly would be fun though, with specific combos unlocked depending on which two are active together. Now if Merrin lets Cal borrow her knife-staff and he puts his lightsaber on the end... MAGICK SABER PIKE GO.
New or adapted movement mechanics: Maybe the ascension cable is replaced with a force ability (Force Ascend or Force Leap for an extra vertical boost?) or is "upgraded" to connect between two anchors, letting Cal create his own temporary ziplines.
Replayable missions: This could be explained in-game with a Force Tear or Cal's own interactive echoes. But I'd love the option to experience story missions and boss fights again post-game.
Customization!
This is a bonus section because Merrin should get new outfits. Haven't decided how to make it part of gameplay yet, stay tuned.
Cal's cosmetics in Survivor are mostly cool, some just funny, but overall a huge improvement from Fallen Order (yes, even though we miss all the poncho designs). For Jedi 3 I'd love to see more story-centric cosmetics that tie into the communities and people Cal has met along his journey. A Legacy outfit (incorporating pieces from his three Jedi masters), an Anchorite-inspired outfit (with arm tattoos), a bounty hunter outfit (the prize after defeating the Brood), etc. Maybe a Bogling outfit? No not made from Boglings; it looks like a Bogling. Hang on lemme fix my tablet—
Narrative + Gameplay!
Explore Tanalorr: Right now this sparkly, strong-in-the-Force, temple-carved planet is a huge mystery box for Jedi 3. There's a few directions it could go - more High Republic history, another civilization (the Nihil? someone new?) lurking in the shadows, or Force-related secrets hiding below the surface. Each Jedi game has followed Cal's exploration of an ancient culture, and I think Tanalorr can be a focal point in that journey.
Defeat Sorc Tormo and the Haxion Brood: I mentioned this in an ask earlier this week, but I so want a resolution to this fight against the Brood. Especially since roaming bounty hunters would threaten the Hidden Path. Maybe Cal breaks back into Ordo Eris, or hunts down Sorc Tormo on another planet. Maybe there's a Force-only stealth section?? Maybe a big multi-wave boss fight? Maybe Caij is there??? (no she doesn't get an invite to Tanalorr)
Dark Side Force Slow: The fact that Cal's Force Slow ability kept its red-stained aura, even in the Survivor post-game, is great. I love lasting consequences and ludonarrative harmony, yes yes yes. Really hope this isn't fully resolved by the start of Jedi 3 (potential timeskip makes it tricky but whatever) and the ability receives some sort of healing through Cal finding his way out of the darkness.
Narrative!
Timeskip?: I vote no, but I think Jedi 3 will vote yes, likely to age up Kata and allow Tanalorr to be more developed. But that also means Cal and the Mantis Crew goes through character development without us (boo) or remains emotionally stunted until we get there (also boo?). I'm more comfortable with the five year gap between FO and Survivor than I used to be though, despite "missing out" on big character moments, so maybe it'll be okay. Maybe. 👀
The Hidden Path builds a home on Tanalorr: This works until it doesn't, whether from outside pressure or the threat of a spy within. I don't think Bode's fears should necessarily be validated, but I do think the risk will keep Cal on edge and hurt his ability to trust (both others and himself.) It'll drive decisions that strain his relationships and be a source of conflict for part of the game.
The Mantis gets semi-retired and then reinstated: I just love the mental picture of the Mantis parked somewhere cozy and decorated with cloth and lights and a hideout for Kata. It's become too small and high profile to use for gathering the Path, but when the plot gets going, they're gonna need her back in action.
Three main antagonists: The Empire, an unrelated third-party with their own goals (Nihil or someone else), and Cal's own demons. The first two drive the external conflict, the third drives Cal's inner conflict and the story's themes. More on that at the end.
A memorial garden: It's designed by Pili and filled with native Tanalorrian plants and trees, from which the Anchorites hang cords and windchimes and bits of colored glass. Cere's saber was buried beneath the largest tree. Cal plays her hallikset here when he's too troubled to meditate. If we want to be mean, this place gets damaged during a battle in Act 3. If we want to be less mean, this is the place that doesn't get damaged during a battle.
Kata has some sort of student-teacher relationship with Cal: I'm torn on her being Force sensitive: this is a story about Jedi and "guide her through the darkness" is pretty telling given Cal's own darkness at the end of Survivor. But Cal helping Kata (and Kata helping Cal) can happen regardless of her Force sensitivity - it would just look different. This is a soft answer because I'm still exploring ideas around it BUT admittedly the angst levels would be higher if she is sensitive.
A battle against the shadow self: Look this one is cliche. I don't care. I want a huge cavern in the depths of Tanalorr where Cal gets to fight a dark version of himself that switches between all his former enemies. If we're making a video game here let's physically beat up our darkness. Let's have it not work. Let's bring Cal to rock bottom to remind him that he is more than his darkness and he doesn't have to do this alone. Let's go back to that same fight later and then we finally win.
There's more to explore story-wise and I will eventually, but I'm overall not concerned about Jedi 3's narrative. Respawn has been very intentional with their writing of Cal Kestis and the Jedi series so far (despite some last minute changes to Survivor) and I love this character and this story because of all the great work they've created. I really hope they finish this journey the way they want to. That being said—
How should Jedi 3 end? Should Cal die?
No: I'll argue Cal dying at the end of the trilogy completely undermines the entire lesson of Survivor.
Cal wouldn't stop fighting the Empire: The Cal we meet at the beginning of Survivor definitely wouldn't. That Cal also watched countless friends die to that same fight and saw two different Jedi fall to their passions-turned-obsessions that led them to the dark side. He may wrestle with remnant obligation or a bitter apathy, but he's definitely not as single-minded as he was before.
Cal would sacrifice himself to save the Path: Yeah, he probably would. Cere did exactly that during the Siege of Jedha when all else failed. But maybe the Path could be protected without Cal needing to be a Weapon - a lesson Cere also wanted him to learn.
Another way: I think the Koboh abyss (that separates Tanalorr from the rest of the galaxy) could be destroyed. I don't know if Cal would choose to destroy it, but I think the Empire would: if they can't reach Tanalorr it's the next best thing.
Now Cal has to make a choice: Leave (continuing the fight alone) or Stay (shepherding the Path for an unknown future.) It doesn't mean they never find a way back to the known galaxy, but it'll take time. Enough time for a New Hope to appear.
Whatever your opinion of the Sequel Trilogy, the line: "That’s how we’re gonna win. Not fighting what we hate. Saving what we love." is not only a complete thesis of Star Wars, but fits really well with Cal's journey. He's become very good at fighting. He wants to save everyone in Fallen Order, and he can't. He still wants to save everyone in Survivor, and they refuse him. His Fight has made a difference (again, Cere says as much) but it's clear this can't be Cal's final answer.
Choosing to protect the Path, choosing to trust the Force, choosing a home. That's what he's been fighting for. I love Cal Kestis because he isn't the chosen one and he isn't going to save the galaxy. But for his family and his community, he saved their galaxy. It's cheesy but I don't care, and you know Greez and BD would agree with me.
-
Okay this got so, so much longer than I expected. Bonus points if you made it all the way down here haha. I've had a weird assortment of concepts and ideas over the past year but never wrote them down in one place - until now. I've said it before but part of my hyperfixation with the Jedi series is because it isn't finished yet and Survivor ends on such a gut-wrenching cliffhanger. Whatever happens to this series, I'm slowly finding some sort of catharsis through all the edits and photomode shots and half-baked concepts. Thanks for tagging along ✌️
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cbrownjc · 8 hours
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image credit: c2299cLance on Twitter
The above image is from the Episode 2x05 insider. And boy oh boy do I (did I?) have a question about this.
Because if that really is the book being published in the present day . . . then that pretty much upends the format of the show. Because the book being published means there is absolutely no reason for Daniel to stick around Dubai anymore IMO. Because why would he? His job is done.
And truth be told, I've long thought the interview would be finished in episode 2x08. That Daniel would finish it, and talk about heading home to being writing and editing it.
However, I never really thought he would actually leave. Because Daniel's character basically does leave the story at the end of Interview with the Vampire. And we don't see him again until Queen of the Damned, during the chase. (And we already know Season 3 is The Vampire Lestat).
But I really couldn't work out how the show could ever have that happen -- because that basically means Daniel's character leaving the show for a time. Possibly a long time, as time jumps just to account for the book being published would have to happen. And that, well . . .
See, I very much noticed how much Daniel's Parkinson's was making him shake this episode (2x05). And I in no way think Armand and Daniel are doing the Devil's Minion chase in the current day with Daniel having Parkinson's during a pandemic (which is still going on in the show's timeline). Sorry, no, not happening IMO. Because there is no damn reason for Armand to chase Daniel now, IMO. The reason Armand even did so in the first place was because he found Daniel fascinating/interesting. And well, as we just saw in episode 2x05 that already happened. It makes no sense that Armand would wait 50 freakin' years to follow up on that with a chase around the world.
So the book being published at the end of the interview always meant, to me, that it would mean bye-bye to Eric from the show. Which, I was NOT looking forward to. Because I honestly couldn't see any reason for Daniel's character to stick around, at least in Dubai, never mind the next part of the story. Especially if Lestat isn't going to be in Dubai and we might have to start doing freakin' time jumps to account for the publication of books.
And, once again, Daniel has a degenerative disease. That, once again, I noticed very well how much he was shaking from. So unless Devil's Minion really didn't happen in the past, there really was no way for Daniel to enter or be part of the story going forward. Because yes, I very much think Armand is going to be prepared to let Daniel leave Dubai and not stop him. Right now, Armand is very focused on keeping his life as it is in Dubai, and I think part of that is due to him not thinking Daniel would ever really remember anything of the past anyway.
So yeah, if that prop is for the book actually being published in the modern-day, I was already beginning to mourn Daniel leaving the show. Because from how I looked at it, I couldn't figure out any reason why his character would stay in Dubai, around these vampires anymore. Right now, if Daniel leaves Dubai, he leaves the show IMO. And probably for a good long while, given where the story is going. (With maybe Armand coming to see Daniel later at some point when he's dying to turn him or something, IDK).
And then, I was reminded -- by @nalyra-dreaming -- of this picture that Eric posted on Twitter a few months back:
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And it all began to click.
Because for a real time there, for a few weeks at least after Eric first posted this, I seriously thought that Daniel's character was going to, well die.
Between the posting of this picture by Eric as well as a few other things, no joke, I was getting a real vibe about it, that Daniel was going to die this season . . . but not stay dead of course. I just held back on talking about it because it felt so damn early, story-wise, for it to happen.
And then something during the lead-up to the more recent press events made me stop thinking Daniel would die. And that Daniel's turning still wouldn't happen for a few more seasons yet.
But now . . . if the book really is going to be published . . .
I think it's going to be published posthumously. Or, at least, posthumously to the human world.
Because why would Daniel stick around in Dubai if the book is published? As we saw in the preview for next week, he's already saying to Justin Kirk he wants to get out of this alive. The minute he's done with the interview he's leaving, make no mistake about that. So why would Daniel stay?
Well, becoming an undead vampire would do it.
So everyone who wanted Eric's Daniel to become a vampire? You might actually be getting your wish this season. Because if those books above really are real and Daniel really is publishing it in the modern-day . . . then the only reason I can think of for him to not only stay in Dubai/on the show but not visibly age -- or get sicker like Daniel very much would wrt such time jumps that would require not only a publication of such a book but for Lestat to see it, read it, etc -- is this. Daniel becomes a vampire at the end of this season.
Because otherwise, IMO? There is no other reason for his character to stick around. Not from anything else I've thought of so far at least that would make any type of sense.
And what is going to force Armand's hand into turning Daniel? (Because yes, I do still think it's going to be Armand who does it) Well, very likely this . . .
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gif credit: @hermit-frog
I already thought Daniel was going to get hurt when it came to this happening. But now I think Daniel getting hurt will be the least of it . . .
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the-summ0ning · 2 days
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Sleep Token HC: being in a relationship with III
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NSFW elements, fluffy ideas that have been ruminating in my head the past couple weeks… to the point I abandoned my main blog to create a side blog for my fav masked men
Easily having scary dog privileges w iii as your man w the slasher-esque aesthetic about him
But we all know that’s not the case
III the bf you lets you play with his rings on his hands when your anxious
Playing with his hair all. the. time! I’m talking twirling the ends, head scratchies, all of it! He hated how much it had an affect on him
He could be going on a tangent laying his head in your lap on the couch after a long day, and he’d instantly shut up melting into your touch once you started playing with his hair!
III the bf who’s love languages involved gift giving, and physical touch
would most likely buy you the most cheesiest, corniest, tourist of tourist souvenirs from each city he went to just to show you how much he thinks of you and misses you. Even if your apartment is overflowing with his little treasures and you had to invest in an a P.O. Box
Receiving ‘Daddy’s Little Meatball’ and ‘I love ___’ shirts all the time, snowglobes, and hats (you definitely got a cheesehead hat when they played in Wisconsin and a cowboy hat with feathers and a tiara when they were in Texas)
Sending you postcards with the most embarrassing, filthiest things written on them like the post men wouldn’t see it
Including but not limited to
‘Hi love, here Down Under thinking when I can I be down under you :( ”
“Visited one of the 7 wonders of the world today, you should be the 8th ;)”
“Can’t wait to show you my Big Ben again <3”
The most fashionable one of the members, every show you attend, he would try to coordinate your two outfits.
Including hairstyles… matching space buns or french braids?!? Are you kidding me?? Or even matching hair colors once in a while??
Speaking of hair, you would have to help him dye his hair, or shave his undercut late at night in the bathroom. Vice versa if you wanted the same color. Indulging on your favorite beverage or a little joint, giggling every time you would get a speck of dark/bright dye on each other. Or jokingly act like you buzzed too much hair to rile him up
He also solely has a folder on his phone dedicated to pictures (including a lot of candid off guards of just you two in your own little world backstage) taken by Adam and crew members of the two of you matching/coordinating
His phone background is of you sitting criss cross on a large equipment case looking down at him leaning against it trying to tune his bass, but his head is leaned back gazing up at you through his mask instead… both with space buns in your hair
Since your relationship couldn’t be public and be blaring obvious to most people you knew, III would get you two permanent bracelets. Yours would have a tiny ‘iii’ on it and his would have a tiny initial of your first name.
Even though he would have to profusely clean it after shows from the red body paint. It was something he was willing to do to carry this cheeky secret.
And somewhere in his favorites folder of his phone he has a picture of your tinier hand trying to wrap around his cock with the dainty chain hung displaying ‘iii’ clearly around your wrist
And ofc a pic of you two facing a mirror with his hand wrapped around your neck displaying your initial proudly on his
Which leads me into
He definitely has a size kink in all different types of aspects
Him loving the fact he was so significantly taller than you (lets face it he’s a a long fuckin string bean), and letting it be known
It always (not so) subtly came out
In his pet names for you: doll, bunny, kitten–anything small and cutesy really…even if they became so unserious or cringe
When he would just casually walk by you, and ruffling your hair calling you ‘squirt’, making you roll your eyes and scoff. (The other band members may have started to do this as well bc of III)
His adrenaline still rushing after a show, great rehearsal, or recording session barreling over to you to give you a bear hug, lifting you off the floor swinging you around profusely
you would be doing something or talking to someone, he’d catch you off guard by coming up behind you resting his chin on the top of your head, giving your shoulders a light squeeze or massage
Watching you struggle for something on a higher shelf, and waiting until you would almost give up in defeat to come up behind you making sure to press his body against the back of you as he did so to leave you flustered
Despite him being a giant, and perfect big spoon material–he wants to be lil spoon most times.
Loving your arms around his waist, feeling the soft heave of your chest pressed against his back as you slept, providing the comfort and peace he needed after a day in his busy life
He’d be in a drunken/high haze and when it would be just the two of you, he would compare his hand to yours always, smiling lazily over at you adoringly
Admire how his hand practically encapsulated the expanse of your throat when you were up against a wall or underneath him.
A small growl leaving his lips, when he tried to fit inside you loving how you squeeze him
“Fuck doll, are you gonna be able to take all of me?” He hisses, pushing your legs further apart
Or watching how’d you have to use two hands and barely fitting him into your palms when you gave him a hand job
“Baby you’re squeezing me so good.” He tries his best to not let his eyes roll to the back of his head, watching you struggle to jerk him
In conclusion, I need this man biblically.. and I got carried away and could have kept going if you guys want me to keep going I can 🤭🥹 I do plan on doing one for the others too. Reblogs, likes, and replies are always appreciated and fuels my validation
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suempu · 20 hours
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Hey there :3 I hope you’re having a good day and schools going good for ya!
If you can, can you please write a story about CHILCHUCK 🗣️ and a gender neutral reader spending some quality time together?
Please I love that midget so much it actually hurts 💀
Live laugh love chucklefuck ‼️‼️
anon, your energy is so funny LMAO i love it
post canon + chilly chuckles has facial hair + literally no plot, just some domestic nothingness
<3
chilchuck sighs in content, one hand gripping a bottle of alcohol as he leans back at his chair. you were currently next to him, sitting on your own chair while you snack on some nuts and fruit.
“you look like you’re on retirement.” snickering before cozying up on your seat, the sounds of crickets and owl noises in the background as you and chilchuck spend your night out on the porch together.
he brings the bottle to his lips, too tired to actually get mad at your comment. “after the day i’ve had, i’d appreciate it if you’d just let me rest.”
“no energy left in you, old man?”
chilchuck groans, “i swear—“
“i’m kidding!” chuckling, you stand from your seat and squeeze yourself right by him.
you remember 2 weeks ago when you’ve just moved in, the both of you arguing over where to place the furniture, squabbling over decor, and the different kinds of paint jobs. it made you smile, the excitement of living with your lover kept you high and happy.
“couldn’t you have stayed right where you were?” grumbles chilchuck, currently squashed between the arm chair and your body, head lazily leaning on to your chest. with the way you’re both seated, he’s almost on your lap.
“come on, i missed you.” you mumble, taking his free hand and rubbing your thumb on his palm. “you’re the perfect cuddle size.”
he sighs, accepting his fate before drinking the last drop of alcohol. “i’m past my prime. i can’t believe i’m getting sleepy from a beer.”
“you’ve had at least 3… and you were already exhausted to begin with. i think it’s time for bed.” you hum, continuing your caresses on his arm while picking the remaining dried fruits and nuts with your other hand.
“yeah, but before that, i need to wash my face and.. maybe shave.” his head lays on your shoulder, closing his eyes in content at the touches. “the hair on my chin is getting a bit itchy.”
“but i like your lil beard.” you pout.
chilchuck places the empty bottle down beside his feet, huffing as he settled himself on your lap again. “i’ll keep the stubble. for you, i guess. cause apparently your needs far outweigh my comfortability.” he snickers sarcastically.
“i’ll help you out with it.”
“you almost cut yourself last week when you did, i’d rather not.”
“third time’s a charm.” you say smugly.
“i’ve lost count on how many “third times” you’ve had.”
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loserdiaz · 2 days
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tagged by the lovelies @tizniz @eddiebabygirldiaz @bidisasterevankinard
okay so i rewatched the bañlad of songbirds and snakes with my gf yesterday and inspiration came back for a certain wip....
some of the previous snippets ive posted: snippet 1 | snippet 2 | snippet 3
and here's a new snippet <33 tw for thg canon typical violence ig
"Ladies and Gentlemen, let the Tenth Hunger Games begin!"
The countdown begins and Buck's heart jumps in his heart, it rattles inside him with a wild, intense, terrified beat. The fear freezes him, drowns him in cold sweat as he looks around.
The arena is absolutely destroyed— just like Eddie had told him it would be. Buck's mind already starts to race, thinking about where to hide. 10 Eddie told him to just run and hide as soon as he could. Alone. Let the others kill each other in the bloodbath but something in Buck jumps in protest at the idea, the wrongness and the unfairness of it all settling deep into his bones. 9 He's been thinking about dying a lot. He's almost made peace with it— has accepted that it's something unavoidable. That he might have seconds or days, maybe a week if he's smart. But he doesn't have long, he is certain of that. 8 But Eddie's voice rings in his head, loud and demanding to be heard. He's done something dangerous and horrible, he has destroyed Buck in the slowest, most painful of tortures— Eddie has given him hope. Something that Buck's never had in his entire life but that now he can't help feeling slowly brewing inside of him, a small spark igniting in his chest. 7 Could he really win this thing? Would he even want to? 6 Are his parents watching? Do they care if he makes it out alive? If he wins? Are they on the edge of their seat, wishing they had been a little more affectionate? A little more caring? 5 Maddie's definitely watching, Buck thinks. There's no doubt about that. 4 A bead of sweat slides down his temple as he gets in position to run. Every inch of him trembling. 3 Buck draws in a shaky breath. 2 He hears the steps of the Peacekeepers— walking closer? No, that's not right. They're supposed to be leaving the arena now. 1 The gong rings out and gunshots fly through the air, taking half the tributes in a second.
tagging (no pressure): @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @hoodie-buck @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @devirnis @father-salmon @underwaterninja13 @exhuastedpigeon @the-likesofus @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @watchyourbuck @diazsdimples @queerdiazs @wildlife4life @wikiangela @thewolvesof1998 @evanbegins @excuseme-greentea @hippolotamus @madneywedding @messyhairdiaz @weewootruck @shipperqueen6 @bekkachaos @loveyouanyway and anyone else who wants to do it <33
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welcometololaland · 11 hours
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i've been squirrelling away at both eurotrip and the ring-in 2.0, but i never know what people want to see? and for the last few weeks i've gotten in such a flap i just gave up and didn't post anything lol. but here's something that made me smile from the ring-in sequel <3 (also i finished eurotrip ch 10 so YAY!) thanks @strandnreyes @heartstringsduet @carlos-in-glasses @suseagull04 and @kiwiana-writes :)
“TK, I promise you,” Owen insists. “It’s a total chick magnet.”
TK appears to choke on thin air and then points to Carlos. “Have I introduced you to Carlos? My husband?”
Owen rolls his eyes and claps TK on the shoulder. “Turn of phrase, son. It means you’ll look good.”
“Yeah,” TK mutters. “Right before I realise that the fabric is so old it has holes in it and my extremities fall off from frostbite.”
“Carlos?” Owen says, redirecting his attention, although his hand remains on his son’s shoulder.
Carlos clears his throat. “Sir?”
Owen grimaces and turns back to TK. “Did you just say you married this man? He’s still using honourifics.”
open tag +
@rmd-writes @celeritas2997 @reyesstrand @alrightbuckaroo @orchidscript
@ladytessa74 @lemonlyman-dotcom @nancys-braids @captain-gillian
@chicgeekgirl89 @terramous @hippolotamus @bonheur-cafe @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut
@basilsunrise @birdclowns @liminalmemories21 @freneticfloetry @safeaswrites
@three-drink-amy @theghostofashton @tellmegoodbye @carlos-tk @goodways
@never-blooms @sugdenlovesdingle @decafdino @eclectic-sassycoweyes @kiwichaeng
@doublel27 @cha-melodius @sanjuwrites @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @lightningboltreader
@vineofroses @myheartalivewrites @indestructibleheart @she-walked-away @americansrequiems
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hi, i’ve been gone from the choices fandom but now i want to get back into it. can you tell me which books that have come out over the past couple of years i should read and rec some people to follow who’re still active in the fandom? i’m asking you because i trust your opinions haha
Okay, I take your trust very seriously, so this is about to get very detailed lol
I’m going to divide the books I recommend into two tiers:
Tier I - Books that are must reads: 1. Blades of Light and Shadow, book 2: Depending on how long you’ve been gone, you’ve probably already played the first book. The second one is emotional and frustrating and amazing, and ultimately a good continuation of the story. I can’t wait for book 3!
2. Crimes of Passion: It’s a murder mystery with compelling characters that are extremely lovable, and the dynamic between the two main characters is exactly the kind of dynamic I love in every iteration. The mystery itself is better in the second book than it is in the first (of course, these are all just my opinions) and I have high hopes for both what the characters’ arc is going to be in book 3 and what the mystery is going to be.
3. Immortal Desires: I don’t know if you like stories about vampires (like Twilight), but even if you don’t, you’ll probably still love this book. It has a mystery in both books too and has two of my favourite love interests. Book 2 is currently releasing on Fridays and I look forward to it every week!
Tier II - Books with parts that could’ve been better/were unsatisfactory, but that are still 100% worth reading: 1. Murder at Homecoming: This is a personal favourite of mine! I think mystery is a genre that Choices does really well, and this book is one of their most diverse and inclusive. All of the LIs are bi (like, they actually say it and have conversations about it). This book would be a must read for me if it weren’t for the fact that one of the biggest mysteries is left unsolved.
2. Kindred: This book is so fun! I love the bond between the sisters, they’re all complex characters and Kaine is one of my favourite love interests as well.
3. Guinevere: I don’t usually like historical fiction and fantasy, but this book is an exception to that. If you love Liam and Drake from TRR, this book has characters who are similar to them and have similar dynamics with the MC!
I answered an ask a while ago about which people I’d recommend following, which you can find here. That list has a lot of people that aren’t really active anymore, but I’d recommend following them anyway because they have amazing fanfiction/art that you should check out, or are just really good people. The only people on that list that are still at least somewhat active are @saivilo (whom I adore), @noahmrshall (who makes stunning edits) and @brightpinkpeppercorn (who is so nice!) I’d also recommend following these people who aren’t on that list: @lover-also-fighter-also (they’re active, post about different Choices books, and seem really cool), @moominofthevalley (they’re active, and post mainly about Crimes of Passion, so of course I follow them lol. They’re also very friendly), @aria-ashryver (they’re active, post mainly about Immortal Desires, and seem very sweet!), @mvalentine (they’re pretty active, post about different Choices books and seem super fun), @raleighcarrera (they’re kind of active, and write the most beautiful fic), and @argylemnwrites (they’re kind of active, and write Drake x MC fic that’s so in-character it’ll be forever ingrained in my brain).
I’m sure I’m forgetting some people, but those are the ones I can think of right now!
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"Awoken memories"
-If you have a problem with me...
...then spit it out, man.
It relates to this post. My “Afterthoughts” AU has two endings. This is from the “bad one”.
Since Bon is Buddhist monk he probably believes in reincarnation.
Imagine if maybe... A century after he passed away Rin meets a young exwire one day who looks, acts and sounds like his Bon.
I tried to show something like rebranded True Cross Academy uniform. The arrows on "reincarnated Ryuji's" shoulder is a special version for "exorcist cadets". The blue arrow represents that, the orange represents main Aria course and his class. In this timeline exorcist are wildly known and even considered a prestige position in life. Even after a couple centuries demons are rampant and fighting for Assiah freedom is a nonstop job. At this point Rin is the Paladin of True Cross Order for at least the last 60 years. They even gave him even more special title:
"Echo"
Rin also leads Myodha's sect since the day of Ryuji's passing.
It's not like he is responsible for everything there but the sect is under his explicit protection as a part of his family. Because they are. He is a highest Elder amongst their people. He is responsible for big decisions and changes in organisation. Also the sect grown big enough to be considered a daughter branch of True Cross Order. Pretty much even gaining autonomy and independence while being Order's Allies.
So Ryuji's reincarnation is actually from that branch since it's a large Buddhist organisation with connections amongst families.
Rin doesn't know them all personally sometimes so he was not aware of his existence.
Some cadets are invited to True Cross Academy from that branch too. His name is Ryugo (龍吾: dragon; me, I. As if screaming about his past life). And he is from a distant village down south of Japan.
Also Rin was not aware of Ryugo's existence but the young man actually was. Rin is his hero and he admires their "Highest Elder" to the moon and back for everything he has done for the sect and the world. He also wants to be his apprentice. And he WILL succeed in his pursuit. But Rin will accept him on his secon year after many attempts to keep distance from someone who was his Ryuji but not him at the same time. Exorcist training is now 3 year course as any other faculties.
Also, Ryugo did fall for Rin the first day he arrived at Academy.
Mephisto lost a lot of his powers during war. So every 10 years Rin would perform a flashy ritual on the first day before the sudents to renew a powerful barrier around True Cross town. (Many exorcists wannabes enroll in Academy a couple weeks earlier to train and preform in that “show” and help to solidify a stable barrier. Ryugo was one of these wannabes)
He fell hard. It was a mix of his admiration and unexplainable feelings he held since the day he saw him in person. (Perhaps these are remains of Ryuji's will and a wish to find Rin in his next life to be with him again. Too bad he didn't have time to say it out loud on his deathbed while he looked in Rin's teary eyes with his last breath)
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chimivx · 3 days
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ghosting ↠ txt
now playing ↠ "slut!" • taylor swift
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He left you with letters. Envelopes that took you five years to finally read, acknowledge. They take you back through your past, forcing you to make moves not only for yourself, but for your family, for your children… His children.
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part one of six ~ masterlist
word count ↠ 2573 warnings ↠ (same for all parts) 18+. mentions of drugs, alcohol, smoking. swearing. explicit sexual content. these people have kids, there’s family talk, pregnancy talk. absent dad, messy family ties. stepsib shit, stepcest. infidelity. if any of these things bother you, please keep scrolling. if i missed anything PLEASE let me know!! a/n ↠ the beginning of the end... <3 this has been a wild ride. I love these people. thank you for the support. xo if you're new, please click the masterlist to read about all thats happened to these people before you start here... trust me. <3 posted ↠ 6/6/24 ~ 9:06 p.m. est
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 ~ may 2015 ~
Soft rumpled blankets beneath you, a plethora of colors warming your half bare body as you rested against the mismatched pillows thrown along the headboard, some having toppled onto the floor just over an hour ago, you waited. Hair ruffled, a mess courtesy of the boy in the kitchen, you didn’t bother to fix it while you twirled your fingers together, judging your chipped pastel blue polish in the light leaking in from the hallway. 
His room was half the size of the one in your house, not that you’ve seen it recently, you’ve been waking up between the sheets underneath you for the last few weeks. The bed was perfectly placed in the center, big enough to take up most of the space, each end table fitting satisfyingly beside it. A closet was tucked into the wall across from you, just right of the door that creaks when it's moved. 
It was truly the sweetest home. A story high, built in the seventies, the outside was half mint green siding and red brick, the front door stuck on the side of the brick hidden from the street. A single window on the front, one that looked into the kitchen, was a total change from the home you grew up in. Everything was close together, all the furniture, all the clutter. It was lived in. It was homey. And with all the time you spent there, the hominess grew.
There was a living area beside the kitchen, a step or so down to the couches that came from his mothers basement, cozy brown ones she was holding onto until he moved. A wooden coffee table from his best friend's older sister, once covered by his textbooks and notes that now shared the surface space with cases of your favorite movies from home and magazines you scribbled in. 
A piece of you lingering behind when you’d leave. 
Everything would be the way you left it when you came back. The extra pair of shoes kicked off by the front door, the shuffled magazines on the tables with the pen still saving the page you left off on, a sweatshirt slung over a kitchen chair, hair ties on his bedroom floor, a tube of mascara behind the faucet in his bathroom. Preserving your presence. A place for you to unapologetically take up space. 
Safety.
Across the short, skinny hall was another room, a second bedroom flipped into some sort of office space. A bookshelf was shoved to one corner and a desk in the other. Walking in there was like walking into a minefield, bits of school covered every inch, his and hers. Though your little square inch of space couldn’t compare to his mountains. Now that your two years were over, you were ready to burn whatever you had stored in that room.
“Okay, here we go.” His voice was light, yet deep, and even more so comforting. Carrying two wine glasses in his knobby fingers, his tall, slender figure appeared in the doorway with a smile. That smile.
Messy hair, smooth, cream colored skin, glasses perched on his button nose… You could climb him, and you wanted to, and you have. He was yours, the boy rounding the bed, Soobin belonged to you, all of him, not just the parts no one got to see. He was yours, and he was proud of it.
Shirtless, he sat on the edge of the mattress and moved closer to you, smirking at the shirt that hung down over your hips. “That’s my favorite.” Handing over one of the glasses, he snuck a kiss to your cheek.
Looking down at yourself, the acid washed Deadman Wonderland t-shirt you slipped on with Shiro’s face on the front of it made you laugh. It was worn, something he bought back when the anime aired. Tipping your chin back, you took the glass and smized. “It’s my favorite. You nerd.”
Sipping his wine, he almost blew it out of his glass. “Nerd?!” You answered with a nod. Soobin laughed, shaking his head, letting you tuck yourself into his side. Slipping an arm around you, he tousled his fingers through your hair before his hand settled on your hip. “I seem to remember you loving Ganta.”
“I do love Ganta,” you said, gazing up at him. 
Soobin sipped from his glass, his tongue poking between his lips for a second as he took you and your bare face in. “I love you.”
Three words you haven’t heard tumble from a boy's mouth in ages. Taking a deep breath, your cheeks flushing, heart skipping a beat, you blinked. Soobin smiled. It was the first time either of you had said it.
“I mean it,” he continued, eyes aglow with know. “These last few weeks I’ve…” He paused to shake his head, a shy laugh coming out of him. “I’ve felt it, and I know, I know, that this had the possibility to… scare you, but, I had to tell you. You don’t have to say it just because I did, I just-”
“Soobin,” you whispered. Shoving your glass of wine, that you haven’t touched, into his hand, you moved away from him for a brief moment. Feet tucked under you, you dragged your hands through your hair and took another breath. Part of you felt like crying. He was serious, you knew he was serious, you could tell he was serious. It’s Soobin for god's sake, the boy’s never told a lie in his life.
There was a sound behind you, him putting the glasses down, then he shifted on the bed and you felt it, his hands on your shoulders. Digging his fingers into your muscle, his lips pressed the softest kiss to the base of your neck.
With a breath, you shook your head. “How?”
He laughed quietly, and you felt him shrug. “Don’t do that to yourself.”
“I’m serious,” you said, turning around. Soobin’s hands dropped to your knees. Tilting his head he withheld a smile, fingers dancing gently over your skin. “How do you… How?”
The corner of his lips finally tipped up, his gaze positively driving you crazy. Nerd or not, the boy knew what to do. “How do I what?” 
Sighing, you closed your eyes. This was what he did. Communication. Clear communication. Looking at him, you whispered, “How do you love me?”
With the way Soobin’s beguiling gaze fell you would’ve thought the last ten years were splayed upon your face for him to see. Your past tugged at your heart, threatened tears into your eyes and yanked you further from Soobin in this moment more than you’d thought it would.
These words were bound to come up at some point, you’ve been seriously dating for almost an entire year. If you went off the date he first asked, it would be in two days, partially why you were sharing a special night together, to celebrate an anniversary of sorts, as well as your graduation. Fitting he’d save this for tonight.
“I’m serious,” he said. “Don’t do this to yourself.” Lifting a hand to touch your cheek, he hesitated and waited for you to nod, then touched you. He drug his thumb over your cheekbone, brushing away a tear. “Remember what I’ve told you. You’ve come so far, you’ve done great things for yourself. None of what you went through defines the kind of person you are. You are far from unworthy, you are deserving of everything great, everything beautiful and wonderful.”
Placing a hand on top of his, you laced your fingers together and watched him speak, letting his words patch up what they didn’t break. You wish you could say this was the first time he’s had to say something like this.
“You are worthy, and loved. I will never let you forget that. I’m also telling you the truth when I say that I love you. I love you a lot.” Biting onto his bottom lip, he studied your hands woven together on your lap and started to smile. “When you ask me ‘how’, I can’t explain it. You’re exceptional. You’re so kind, and entirely too cute. You’re smarter than me most days, and the way you love things is just… Overwhelming, in the best way.”
Gulping, you breathed and squeezed his fingers. “Not… smarter than you,” you mumbled. 
Soobin scoffed, scooting closer to you. “Are you kidding? You can figure things out faster than I can, my brain takes two to three business days to compute information. You’re wicked fast. You’re quick, you’re a fast thinker.”
Because I used to be sneaky, you thought. Because I was hiding the biggest secret and had to be quick on my feet.
He dropped his chin to meet your eyes that had fallen. “What are you thinking about?” After you shrugged, he said, “You can tell me.” After you shook your head, he said, “Nothing you say will make me-” Love you less.
You could see it all playing out.
Shying away from his touch, you rolled over on the bed and sat on the edge, staring down at the wooden floorboards.
Behind you, Soobin whispered, “Too much, got it.”
Not one bit of it was derogatory. He didn’t even mean for you to hear it. He was good at that, using the good tones when he spoke. You noticed this was something he’d been doing over the year you’ve spent with him. He’d pick up on these moments and save them, log them in his memory, learn from them, and know how to move forward. 
And he has the nerve to say you’re smarter than him.
You were nothing more than an observant, sneaky, slithery snake. A skill that sickened you. How an honest man like Soobin could sit here and tell you he loved you baffled you.
Beneath the guilt, the excitement bubbled. Beneath the, you think, fear? A small part of you was kicking it’s feet. He told you that he loves you. The cutest boy, the sweetest boy, the boy who almost tops every boy you’ve had in bed, the boy who brings you snacks when you’ve forgotten to eat, the boy who tries his hardest to get along with your parents, the boy who tells you day after day how important you are to him…
The boy who didn’t shame you when you told him bits of your past. The boy who keeps the alcohol in his home in an unknown spot, because he cares about you. The boy who has let you sleep over night after night, clinging to him in your sleep, finding sanctuary here beneath his roof instead of your own.
The boy whose brows shot up as you took your time turning around on the bed to face him. He didn’t reach for you, he didn’t say anything. He allowed you to do what you needed to do, he let you go. Everything Soobin did was for you. Never once, in your year of togetherness, did he force you to do anything, did he tell you what to do. All of your choices were your own, freewill. 
As fast as he made the face he pushed it away, not wanting any of his reactions to persuade you to do a thing. His lips rested in that always smile, and his hand took yours as you reached for one of his. Taking a deep breath, you nodded, studying the way your fingers fit between his perfectly. His long, knobby fingers complimenting your own. A perfect match.
“I… I love you too, Soobin,” you whispered. His lips parted. The gentle sigh that fell from them was clearly an accident, one he attempted to backtrack on.
“Hang on, I-”
You cut him off, smiling, letting go of his hand. Climbing into his lap he protested and took his hands to your shoulders. 
“No, I do,” you breathed, slinging your arms around his shoulders. Chest to chest, you kissed the tip of his nose and giggled as his cheeks flushed pink. “Don’t try to stop me from saying it. How could I not?” 
His brown eyes were alive, sparkling, gazing at you in awe. He really wasn’t expecting you to say it back, to mean it, to be so serious about it. 
Everything you’ve shared, everything you’ve done, everything you’ve told him about, it all lived between you in this moment. The past, both of yours, the damage you’ve both endured. When he opened up to you about growing up with a struggling single mother, having to grow up way too fast. The night you cried in his lap on his couch and told him all about Taehyun while he drug his fingers through your hair, letting you speak your truth. 
Taehyun, the fucked up, weird, emotional and physical cheating with Beomgyu, the drugs, how you never knew your father, the night at the club…
Over the last year he’s heard it all, and he’s opened up to you about so much more. And here you both were, holding onto one another, not judging each other for it. Choosing to love one another despite the depth of your shadows. 
“I’m so proud of you,” Soobin whispered, his hands slipping up the back of his t-shirt you wore. “For everything,” he continued before you questioned his words, and you usually would. “I know it’s been hard, especially these last few months, but look at what you’ve done. For yourself.” He paused while you took a deep breath. His eyes were locked on yours, making sure you were hearing every single word he spoke and every unspoken intent within them. “You did that. You.”
Not your mother. Not Taehyun. Not the people who’ve tried to hold you back from living a life you deserved. A happy one, a peaceful life.
You got that here. Wrapped up in Soobins arms, closing the space between your lips, kissing him roughly with an audible sigh, you got a peaceful life here. Falling backward onto the sheets with him as he let you take the lead, tugging down the waist of his sweats, you got the happy life here. 
The make-believe fantasy you once dreamed of, the privacy, the escape, the safety… You got it. This was where you were meant to be.
10/7/2019
.…If I can be brutally honest about all of it, I’m terrified. I mean, this is ridiculous, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Don’t read the bad words, ignore those, don’t use bad words. I use them when I can’t think of anything else to say, and truthfully, right now, I don’t know what else to say. Or do, for that matter. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even talk to my mom about it, and shit, she’d know exactly what to say, she always did. She was the best, and, yanno, I don’t know what’s gonna happen here, but if someday you find yourselves here with me, I’m sick that you’ll never have known her. But, you guys, I mean, shit, you guys have the best mom. The most selfless person I’ve ever met in my life. I know she’ll love you forever, and always. Take care of her, please. Love her. Love her with every bit of your heart, because I know she’ll love you with every bit of her own. You’ll never feel a love more true than hers….
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