The thing is, I get it. On the one hand, I really do get it. It sucks to see the character you identify with die. It sucks even more when the character is representation that we rarely get, or when the death feels like it robs their story of all its meaning, or is meant to send a message about how we're viewed by society. God knows I've experienced enough of those kinds of character deaths, and every one of them hurts.
But the way we talk about character death in fandom does bother me sometimes. Because it's like it's all or nothing: either happily ever after and it's a good story, or character death and it's bleak and meaningless.
Here's the thing: we are all going to die.
That isn't an indictment of who we are or how we live our lives or how much we matter. It just is. We're going to die someday, and it's so bleak to me to think what we do as we live loses all its meaning, just because it won't fade to black with an open ending on an image of a sunset. I don't think that's true. I think it's so obviously untrue.
As I get older, and more ill, and more disabled, and more viscerally aware that I am not going to live forever, that I don't have all the time in the world...I think there's comfort to be had, even in stories that end in death. There's meaning to be found in characters dying after having lived, dying with the people they love standing near, dying having said what they needed to say.
It's not the story I gravitate towards either. I don't like thinking about death, and stories about it will never be my first choice. But it's a story I will have to experience at some point, whether I like it or not.
So I find comfort in the idea that a character's ending can be a death that isn't a negation of their importance or erasure of their story, where they're at peace. Where they did what they wanted and they knew who they were, and they said their piece and have few regrets.
And I know when we're young we don't want to think about it or frame it that way, because so many of us grow up thinking about death like it's an escape hatch we constantly have to fight against using.
But when you get older, you realize that all any of us can hope for, sooner or hopefully much later, is to die having lived a life we loved.
And in that sense, not every character death is a bad ending. Not every character death takes the meaning and the love and flushes it down the drain like it didn't matter. Sometimes a character death is a reminder that it matters so much, in fact it's the only thing that does, because ultimately it's love that lives on after we're gone.
We all become stories in the end, and it's love that's the catalyst for that transformation.
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Some off-the-cuff thoughts on overspiritualizing patterns in science
I remember watching a talk in middle school youth group about laminin, the "molecule that holds your whole body together" which was supposedly shaped like a cross. The suggestion, basically, was that the cross's image was integral to our molecular makeup and that this was part of God's design in a very Significant way. I was a burgeoning STEM girl, so I taped a diagram of a laminin up next to my bed for a while.
(As I would later find out, the whole laminin thing had/has some reach among Christians. There are T-shirts and everything)
Fast forever to spring of my freshman year as a microbiology student. I take my first course in cell bio, and I learn that laminins are actually one of many families of ECM glycoproteins. They aren't really any more significant in "holding the body together" than collagens, elastins, or fibronectins. They're very important, yes, but ultimately just one type of adhesive protein among many. And! They also do a bunch of other stuff that's way cooler than just. Adhesive.
While some laminins do bear resemblance to a cross when diagramed, it's really only because they have three subchains. Some are t-shaped, but others are y-shaped, and those don't look anything like a cross. Also, when they're in situ rather than in a nice, neat diagram, they tend to be all floppy and then they look even less cross-like.
Source
And when I learned about this I was oddly relieved. It felt like I was right about something that I couldn't even put into words, and that somehow the field of what I could call glorious had grown wider.
Christians are called to see and marvel at the presence of God in creation. I love doing that! I see God left and right through my scientific studies. Yet I also know that the human brain is pattern-seeking and that we are prone to pareidolia. I honestly don't know that there's a substantive difference between seeing the cross in some laminins and seeing Jesus on a piece of toast. It's all just seeing patterns that arise from something else (in the case of laminins, being able to bind three different molecules at once) and attributing spiritual significance. God is sovereign and maybe in the grand scope of his vision for creation it means something, but in terms of seeing God's hand in science I just find it so... small?
You could spin so many four-chain or four-domain proteins or goodness knows how many other molecules into images of the cross if you pick the right diagram. You could take every pattern of three in nature (and there are many!) as an image of the Trinity. If you really, really wanted to, you could take every six in organic chemistry as a sign of the beast, which would be hilarious in its misguidedness. It just becomes so literalistic and dull so very fast.
Look! Wouldn't you rather talk about the fact that laminins begin to appear along the edge of a developing lung at just ten weeks of human embryonic development, suggesting that they play a role in alveolar morphogenesis? That they're present in the neural stem-cell niche, which makes them an attractive candidate for helping to treat degenerative neurological conditions? I want to go back to whoever gave that talk that I watched in youth group and shake him and say, "God did that, and you're still hung up on the fact that laminins have three subchains?"
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Delicious art style. Delicious attitude. Delicious sense of freedom and expression. Delicious humor. Delicious rarepairs.
Delicious comments in my tags about childhood wonderment and emotion that I think about every day without fail and revisit frequently because they make my week better.
Delicious blog. One of my favorites. /pos /gen
GUGH,, trying so hard to formulate a coherent sentence here because my mind is complete giddy brain soup. The joys.. butAGCK!!!! Vague hand motions, I am very very happy thank you soso much! ! I've been trying be more raw with my emotions in like day to day and with my art, and being as indulgent and unfiltered as I can manage and hearing its enjoyed is! Eek! Runs away! (Positively!) Especially with my tags,, elated to know you look at them often! It means a lot to me because YOUR art means a lot to me!! Both in style and meaning and overall just. The filling and the crust does that make any sense at all! It makes me feel a lot!!! I think im rambling a little um um EEK thankYEW! I appreciate you and this sos much! All the same back to YOU❗ FOR REALLY!!!!🙇🙇🙇🙇🙇
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