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baku-writes · 3 years

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Coming out as Lesbian to MHA characters

Decided to do a short headcanon or drabble as coming out as lesbian to different MHA characters. Fun fact about me, I am actually a lesbian but there isn't much good lesbian MHA smut or fluff so I mainly stick with str8 stuff (it's alright but I will only ever date women). I guess the only male I ever had an attraction to is Bakugo, but I only find women attractive irl so I ain't bisexual. It's a mess.

But anyways!

TW: homophobia, lesbophobia, 'correction', mentions of fault beliefs like 'gays are pedophiles/molesters'

Coming out as lesbian to: mirko, Momo, Uraraka, Tyu, Iida, Kirishima and Bakugo.

MIRKO

Okay so Mirko gives off lesbian vibes ngl

Maybe bisexual, but to me she just screams of LESBIAN (don't @ me)

Anyways, it's pretty common knowledge to you all that Mirko is a lesbian

She is out of the closet and ain't afraid to fight on behalf of anyone in the LGBTQ+ community, you are all fucking amazing.

So one day you were super anxious whilst in the local cafe with Mirko and she kinda sensed it. She just recognised the constant fidgeting, not talking, avoiding eye contact and overall anxious vibes you were giving off

So she asked if you wanted to talk about anything

And you kind of just blurted out "I'm a lesbian"

She was kinda like 🧍🏽‍♀️ at first. Just a bit taken back by what you just said because it was so out of the blue (?) But she has had her suspicions

And then she just gave you the brightest smile she could muster and say "I fucking knew it. My gaydar was tingling"

Does a funny thing with her ears, like a satellite moving kinda thing

She overall just makes you feel super comfortable

If you ever get anxious about homophobia or judgement towards you she is there to back your ass up and make sure no one hurts you

(She might even have a lil crush on you)

MOMO

Okay this queen gives off bisexual vibes ngl

Like her relationship with Todoroki and her relationship with Jirou just kinda screams bisexual vibes (again don't @ me)

You two were kinda just chilling in her room

Studying and shit like that

You were usually okay at this type of work however the realisation of you being a lesbian was eating away at you

You were worried about judgement, homophobia and also people who just fetishise lesbians (mineta kinda screams of those vibes)

You didn't want to be known mainly for your sexuality either. You wanted to be known for what you can do, not your sexual orientation

But you felt as if you wanted to talk about it to at least 1 person

So you asked momo if you could tell her something. She obviously said yes and noticed your anxiety peak (she offered and made you some tea)

And you said "I think I'm a lesbian..."

At first she thought about it for a moment and you were fearful incase she was judging you

But then she stared at you with eyes that just screamed of "I'm so fucking proud of you"

She gave you a big hug, advice, support and helped comfort you with any issues

She even let you sleep over and just made you comfortable with who you are.

Uraraka

You two were actually cooking some food for everyone in 1A to eat

She kinda sensed something was up as you did a complete 180°

Your mood was low, you were anxious, struggling in class, no jokes, no laughter, you were sensitive and struggling to cope with training

So she was actually the one to ask

"Hey Y/N. Are you okay? You've been really down lately."

And it just pours out of you

Your happy that everyone else was too busy playing games (or holding bakugo down as kaminari may or may not of drawn on him whilst he was asleep)

She immediately hugs you and rubs your back

She gives you emotional support and tells you how strong you are for telling het this

She praises you for being so strong for speaking out and talking to her, and how she will always help it if you need help.

Gives you some mochi she bought (strawberry mochi)

And will be there if you ever need support

Tsuyu Asui

Tell me this girl isn't a lesbian, go ahead. I'll wait

LMFAO but in all seriousness she just genuinely screams of lesbian vibes to me

She has never really come out to the class.... they just kinda know and respect it (except mineta)

One day you build the courage to tell her whilst at rescue training

She was working with you to 'rescue' a dummy from a falling building

Once you two are alone and not in much of a hurry (it isn't a timed rescue) you kinda just turn to her and say "hey I'm a lesbian"

She legit just turns around and says "me too"

Nothing much really happens

But at the end of training she does come up to you and say that she is there if you ever need to talk

After a while of you two hanging out you guys kinda just hit it off with dating and once the rest if the class finds out they are kinda shocked, but also collectively proud of you two

Iida

You and Iida are already really close friends. Like you two hang out quite a bit and just feel close and comfortable with each other

You were one day scrolling through LGBTQ stuff on whatever app you want

And you read the comments.... let's just say they were extremely lesbophobic and fetishising

Many people saying they just need a man of to be corrected (all things I have actually been told irl... its disgusting)

And your anxiety just goes 📈

But you're also mad. Like why is your love something others hate? It doesn't harm anyone and why are they so affected by YOIr life? So in class after the morning of you seeing all that hateful stuff, you look pretty upset

At the end of class you are one of the last ones to leave but little do you know Iida is waiting for you outside

Legit goes into a speech about how he is the class rep so therefore it is apart of his duty to help you with whatever you are going through

He also speaks about how you can talk to him at any time as you two are close friends

So you tell him about EVERYTHING. All of the worries you face about being LGBTQ, all the hate that LGBTQ get, the fetishisation of lesbians and bow you don't want to be known as 'the lesbian hero'.

He stands there for a second trying to think of what to say to you

And you begin to walk away because you think his silence is him judging you

But he grabs you by the arm and pulls you into a hug

He promises that he will always be there to help you and swears down as class rep that he will do anything he possibly can to make you comfortable

(With your permission ofcourse) he begins to actually add more LGBTQ things to the dorms and even buys a rainbow pin that he pins to his school blazer.

Also lectures mineta A LOT about respecting women and LGBTQ people (specifically lesbians)

Kirishima

Okay so don't kill me, but in this headcanon kiri is gay (yes, kiribaku fight me, I take no L's)

But even though he was gay (and open to you about it) you were still exceptionally nervous about his opinion.

What if he thought you were disgusting due to being lesbian? What if it makes him uncomfortable? And you were still worried about homophobia.

You two were actually at the gym taking a breather when you finally built up the courage to tell him

He was one of your closest friends and the thought of not telling anyone you were a lesbian ate away at you.

Whilst hes taking a drink you turn to him and say

"You know how you're gay? I think I'm gay too....." it came put just above a whisper

At first he was confused.... like? You're a female

And then it clicked

He immediately started smiling, acting dopey and shit

Kept saying "I'm so proud of you" "happy you're out of the closet" and "we are the gae family"

But once you explained your fears to him he immediately took on the role of helping you out

He used his manliness to prove to you that he will help you out no matter what

Fron then on you knew he wouldn't let anyone hurt you.

Bakugou

Like I said fir kirishima, bakugo is gay in this headcanon

(Kiribaku ya know)

You two were sat in the common area alone bc everyone else was playing twister in kaminari's room, but you two..... were not prepared for that

Bakugo was watching some random show on the TV about pro heroes and the hardest villains ever beaten in battle whilst you were scrolling on your phone

Casually you were looking at LGBTQ stuff and just scrolling through the hashtag on instagram

Until a scrolling slideshow of a 'list' come up about why 'being gay was wrong '

Immediately you saw fucking RED

Everything they were spewing was bs like "gays are pedophiles", "they molest children" and "lesbians need to be corrected"

And so you broke put into a rant

Yelling about the morons of the world who genuinely believe this bs and you would not stop ranting....

Bakugo was sat there like 👀👀👀

He was honestly surprised to see you so pissed 'what a great ally' the thought

And then one line slipped from your mouth

"My sexuality isn't made for peoples fucking porn"

You stopped... bakugo stared.... silence

"You a lesbian?" His voice was as gruff as ever so you took that as a negative sign

"Yeah... what about it?"

"Nothing, it's fine. And congrats about fucking time you realised"

Then he went back to watching TV

After seeing you get upset and angry about homophobia he kept his eye out for you, threatening any pricks that would do shit to you

He would nearly beat minetas ass if he got close to you (mineta didn't even realise you were a lesbian lmaoo)

Whenever you're anxious he has made it known that he is there if you ever need to talk.

OOP, second one done WEHEY WEHEY!!! I hope you enjoyed. Many of my issues with my sexuality were actually projected into these headcanons. Let's just say being gay isn't fun especially when you can't come out ✌🏻

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stanzoeywade · 4 years

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Poppy x MC Tinder AU

Summary: based off that one tumblr post about a girl who never experienced an orgasm and their friend hooks them up with their lesbian friend. aka, the au that no one asked for.

in which Veronica and Chloe find out that Poppy's never experienced an orgasm and they decide to help her out by creating a tinder account for her, cue MC finding her account and shenanigans happen.

Warnings: swear words maybe some smut but nothing too graphic. (OWO)

If anyone wants to be added to taglist please reply. As always these are only my headcanons so enjoy my take on that tinder au anon asked @somewillwin about. Your brain anon omg.

Taglist: @somewillwin @belvoiresqueenbee @origmansello @clownery-is-a-new-personality @kamilahtrash @poppysminion @poppysimp @captain-hanadeleine @poppysmc @iiizdumb @uselesslesbianfr @scattered-to-the-winds @idiot-justidiot @toyhenoctus

First of all this discussion happens one night where Poppy, Chloe and Veronica get their asses drunk at a frat party. Believe or not the top 3 girls of Belvoire actually care about each other, they just have a really weird way of showing it.

A heart to heart talk starts and the three of them start to confess things that they would never talk about when sober. Cue Poppy saying "I've never experienced an orgasm in my whole life."

Chloe and Veronica just look at Poppy shocked and their jaws drop. Veronica just looks at Poppy with a weird look of pity, whilst Chloe just stares.

After realising what she said Poppy quickly sobers up and clams her mouth shut. "What do you mean you've never had an orgasm before?!" Veronica all but yells. "Gee V, couldn't you have said that any louder, I don't think the whole school heard you." Poppy replies sarcastically.

Veronica just rolls her eyes and says "Girl, you're not getting out of this convo that easily. Now spill the tea sis." Chloe and Veronica look at Poppy expectantly, waiting for her to elaborate. Poppy just sighs and looks away cheeks flushed, as if embarrassed.

The two don't stop pestering her, so Poppy has no choice but to raise her hands in mock surrender. "Fine, I'll tell you" she says as her eyes narrow dangerously. "But if you tell anyone about this, I will actually erase the both of you from planet earth."

Poppy begins to explain that none of her exes made her feel good, and that whenever she had sex with any of them she always had to fake it, so much so that she's started to find sex boring.

Veronica and Chloe share a look and nod at each other. The both of them say "We're gonna set up a tinder account for you to find a good lay (basically the british version of saying good fuck), because that's just pretty fucking sad. Why didn't you tell us sooner, like bruhhh??."

Poppy just looks away and says "Its not like I can just go up to you guys and say 'I've never orgasmed before'". The two just nod their head in understanding before taking Poppy's phone and installing tinder.

They spend some time taking and choosing the best photos for Poppy to use on her tinder profile. (If anyone has seen Euphoria, you know that scene where Rue helps Jules take nudes, it's like that but PG-13) Considering that the three of them were pretty drunk, it was surprising to see how well it turned out.

Feeling sleepy, both Veronica and Chloe retreat back to their room, and Poppy just feels so tired that she falls asleep as soon as the other girls leave.

Waking up the next morning Poppy wakes up to the sound of her phone beeping numerous times and annoyed by the constant ping, she picks it up to see that almost all the notifications were from tinder.

Poppy is confused because wtf? When did she download tinder??? And then it hits her like a truck, 'Oh shit, we were all drunk as fuck last night, I thought that was some bizarre lucid dream but I actually have a tinder account. Fuck.' - she thinks to herself, embarrassed that Veronica and Chloe know her secret.

She sees a few messages from the group chat. Veronica sent her a message. "Poppy, istg if you delete tinder after all the time we spent making your profile look cute, I will post the ugliest picture I have of you on my insta." it reads. What surprised her is that Chloe actually backs Veronica up by saying "Yeah Poppy, it took our three collective brain cells to curate that account so you better use it."

Poppy giggles a little amused by her friends' reaction and she messages them back by saying "Fine, but if it doesn't work out you guys have to pay for my next shopping spree." Chloe and Veronica just agrees albeit unwillingly, but they know not to argue back.

Poppy decides to check the messages and matches that she got on tinder, disappointed but not surprised, most messages say "Send nudes" or a nude pic is attached to their messages. Poppy just rolls her eyes as she immediately unmatches them.

You were looking on tinder for your latest hook-up with no strings attached because ewww commitment and no one really caught your eye, except Poppy. Imagine your surprise when you find Poppy's profile on tinder, deciding that it was a troll account you decide to message them saying "Wow, of all the people you could choose to pretend to be, you choose the HBIC of Belvoire. Stop trying to catfish people, that's just shitty."

Poppy shocked at the sudden message that she gets from you scoffs and replies back "I'm not pretending to be anyone, Farmsville, in case you didn't know even I'm allowed to use tinder."

You just roll your eyes and text back "If you really are Poppy Min-Sinclair, prove it. I might hate Poppy's guts but trying to ruin her reputation by doing shit like this isn't funny."

This catches Poppy's attention, and suddenly she's curious. 'Why would she even stand up for me?' she can't help but wonder.

Poppy screenshots your conversation and sends it to Chloe and Veronica who have vastly different reactions. Veronica's response compiles of this emoji 👀, and the words "Farmsville likes girls, we been knew." and Chloe's response is more of a "WTF, I thought she was dating that Zoey girl."

The girls tell her that it would be fun to mess with you, and they tell her that she should prove that the profile is hers. Veronica also messages her privately saying "girl, her bio legit says 'not looking for commitment' this is like your chance to sleep with her and if you don't, I will." Poppy just grunts in annoyance and decides that fine, she supposed that you were attractive enough for a hook-up.

When you don't get a reply within the next ten minutes you scoff and roll your eyes. 'Damn, people really stoop so low huh.' - you think to yourself. There's a slight disappointment that crosses your mind once the account stopped replying to your messages. You were kind of hoping that it was the real Poppy after all.

Against her better judgement (gay denial right here folks, you're the first to see it), she decides to take a selfie and sends it to you.

Right as you're about to unmatch to what most likely seems to be a fake account, you're surprised to see a message from Poppy's supposed account. It was a selfie of Poppy, where instead of her usual pink fur coat, she's wearing something casual, and to be fair it's a really nice mirror selfie. (This is what I imagine) (I still stand by my headcanon of Poppy looking like Chungha but I couldn't find a good photo lolol)

Doubting that it's really Poppy, you decide to check your socials to see if she's uploaded any new images, and so far you haven't found anything. However you're nothing if not stubborn. You ask if she could prove that she's real and not some weirdo.

Poppy just rolls her eyes annoyed that she's being questioned, as a last ditch effort to gain your trust she sends another selfie, which is a bit more revealing than the last and once you see it your brain stops functioning.

Regaining your composure, you message her saying "I thought you had a boyfriend? What the fuck?" The only response you get is a reaction gif of some girl rolling their eyes. Being the little shit you are you decide to annoy her by sending selfies back, each photo more provocative than the last.

Poppy amused by the photos decides to get you back and it becomes a game of one-upping each other to see who takes better thirst traps. This continues on for an entire week (It's such a stupid competion and both of you know but you're both competitive af so yeah.) until Poppy snaps and contacts you using her actual phone number instead of the app.

Poppy's already frustrated and she's annoyed because she can't stop thinking about you and your stupidly hot, gorgeous body - oh my god I'm going insane she thinks to herself. She decides enough is enough and messages you. "FUCK YOU FARMSVILLE! BACK DOWN ALREADY!"

You wouldn't be yourself if you didn't have a sassy comeback ready so you reply with "FUCK ME YOURSELF YOU COWARD!" sending her yet another thirst trap, this one more revealing than the others.

Poppy snaps when she sees the message and she's quick to make a reservation to her favourite hotel in NYC, because as if she'd be seen taking you to her room. She gets the biggest room because she's extra like that and she knows she deserves the best.

The only response you get is a pinned location on the map, aptly captioned, "Meet me here Farmsville and I'll make you eat your words."

Still feeling feisty you reply with "Is that a threat or is that a promise? 😘😜" and Poppy just tells you to hurry up.

This is a really stupid idea - you think to yourself. You can't help but be suspicious of Poppy wanting to meet up, after all she can use this information against you. However none of that matters to your lust riddled brain, considering the last hook-up you've had was with Professor Kingsley and that was quite some time ago and you're really horny for some action.

You quickly dress in your best underwear, and choose something fashionable yet casual to wear because let's face it even if you hate Poppy, you don't want to look like a loser if you're gonna hook up.

Once you get there, you quickly make your way to the designated room that Poppy told you to go to. Knocking on the door, you're lowkey expecting Belvoire students to berate you, but once the door opens all you can see is Poppy.

Poppy is dressed in nothing but her underwear as she pulls you into the room. Feeling a bit awkward, you decide to break the ice by saying "I lowkey expected this to be some weird plan where you embarass me in front of your clique."

Poppy just looks at you and she scoffs as she says "As much as I hate you Farmsville, even I wouldn't stoop that low. Plus it's a crime to share nudes without a person's permission." You just look at her in disbelief jaw dropping as you take all of her in. I mean if you thought she looked good in the photos, then damn seeing it in real life was a different experience entirely

She notices that you're staring and she just flashes you a smirk and says "See something you like?" and all you want to do is wipe the smirk off her perfect face.

Stepping closer to Poppy, you make the first move and kiss her roughly, each kiss longer than the last and you can feel your heart pound as your nervousness dissipates and all you can focus on is the smell of Poppy's perfume and how it drives you wild. As well as how soft her skin feels against your hands and it's enough to drive you over the edge.

Poppy pulls away and you follow after her, annoyed by the fact that the kisses stopped. You can hear her pant as she struggles to breathe.

As soon as Poppy catches her breath, she says "I'm starting to feel under dressed so let's fix that shall we?" She pulls you towards the bed and she strips your clothing off, and you can't help but stare because holy shit this is actually happening. You start to wonder if you're dreaming until you feel Poppy kiss you again, this time slower and softer and you can't help the wistful sigh that escapes your lips.

You decide to take the lead until you hear Poppy say something. "Wait a minute Farmsville." You stop and listen because no matter how sexually frustrated you might be at the moment, consent is always important.

You wait patiently for her to start talking and she says "Don't make fun of me, but I've never known what an orgasm feels like." You can tell that she's flustered by the way she looks away and refuses to make eye contact.

Your eyes soften up and you kiss her gently on the neck and whisper "I guess that's something we can improve after tonight, but if you feel uncomfortable at any moment in time just tell me to stop." Surprised that you even cared about how she felt Poppy just nods her head softly at you.

"I'm gonna start touching you, okay Poppy?" you say your voice gentle, as you hope that it soothes her nerves. "Just relax and let me do the work, alright, I promise I won't hurt you." Poppy just shoots you a shy smile and your heart pounds because fuck that's the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen.

Kissing your way to her inner thighs, you can hear and feel her squirm against your touch. In order to keep her still, you place her hands on your hair and assure her that it's okay if she tugs on it. You place your hands on her hips to keep her steady as you tease and suck on her clit.

Poppy's small moans of contentment makes you want to do more, so you try extra hard because you want to hear more. You can feel Poppy's body begin to shudder and you can tell that she's close and spurred on by that you insert your fingers into her core and thrust until you can hear scream in pleasure.

You can't help but stare as her body starts to spasm and you let her grind so that she can climax again and it's the most erotic moment of your life.

Poppy feels her whole vision turn white for a moment and she feels euphoric once she realises that she came.

As soon as she regains her bearings, she turns to you, who looks very satisfied, and omg did she just see you lick her juices off your finger. That sends a wave of arousal straight to her core and she looks away embarrassed from being turned on again just a few seconds after coming.

You put your hand on her chin and turn her face towards you forcing her to make eye contact. "It's not over yet, Princess. I'm pretty sure that we can wriggle more of those out of you and the night is young." you say your voice dropping an octave.

By the time that you've finished, Poppy's mind has gone blank and she feels so tired that she doesn't think she can move. She's got to give you props though, because goddamn that was the first time she actually enjoyed sex and she actually got to cum too.

Noticing that Poppy's too tired to move, you decide to lift her up in a princess carry and surprised by your sudden action Poppy's about to protest until you just tell her to be quiet.

Placing Poppy in the bath tub, you turn on the faucet and makes sure that the water isn't too hot or cold as it fills up. After the bath has been filled you slip into the bathtub behind Poppy as you help her clean up.

'Okay now she's just being unfair, why is she being so nice.' Poppy thinks to herself. Trying to make conversation Poppy says "Why are you taking care of me, I half expected you to leave after we fucked." You rest you chin on her shoulder and say "I didn't want you to catch a cold, and besides what kind of a person would I be if I just left you on your own? I like to think of myself as a gentlewoman." You start to place soft kisses on her shoulders and Poppy just sighs wistfully, feeling at peace as she leans back against you. "Don't tell anyone but this was actually the most fun I've had. Hell I don't think any of my exes would have compared against you." Poppy says shyly.

You can't help the smile that creeps it's way to your face. "You can't say shit like that Poppy, I'm pretty sure you're gonna give me a heart attack if you act this soft." you say teasing lilt in your voice and you can hear Poppy giggle. It sounds so soft and you realise that it's a sound that you want to hear.

Your relationship as enemies with benefits start and the both of you can't really keep your hands off each other, God forbid if you're in the same room.

Intense stares from across the room that everyone assumes to be glares, but little do they know that it's your own way of communicating.

One day Poppy calls you up and tells you that you're going shopping, but in reality it was just an excuse to spend more time with you. On the way to the mall, you guys get frisky in the car and before you can stop yourself you say "Babe" and you can't help but think that you've fucked up.

Poppy doesn't say anything but she likes the new pet name and can't wait to hear you say it again.

You guys go to a high end designer store and one of the staff approaches you and says "You guys look good together." While you're quick to deny it, Poppy just thanks them, but as she hears you deny it her eyes widen and you can see her heart break in front of your eyes. Poppy runs off and you're confused.

The employee looks at you and says "I probably shouldn't say anything else today but you should go after her. It's obvious that you both like each other."

Searching the mall, you're relieved once you see Poppy sitting down on a bench, and you approach her carefully. You see that her eyes are red and you feel shitty because you're the reason why she's crying.

Poppy notices you and she's about to run off again until you catch her wrist in your hand. "Poppy please look at me." you plead and she doesn't budge as she tries to get away from your grip.

Seeing that she can't outrun you considering you're holding onto her she just sighs and looks at you. Her face is covered in tears and you use your other hand to wipe them away.

"You know after you called me babe in the car, I was so happy because I thought that it meant that we were dating, but I guess I was just another girl for you to fuck." Poppy says and your heart breaks.

"I thought that you didn't like me that way, so I quickly denied that we were dating. I do like you Poppy, but you never made it clear that we were in a relationship. Though to be fair I should have tried to clear things up too. I guess we're both idiots huh?" You say as you hold her face between your hands.

Leaning in you capture Poppy's lips and she eagerly kisses you back, happy to resolve the misunderstanding.

Unbeknownst to the both of you a Belvoire student caught everything on camera and by the next day everyone on campus knows that you guys are dating.

No one dares to say anything because uhhh POWER COUPLE and they're highly scared of Poppy killing them lol.

Long story short Poppy sees your tinder account and you compete for better thirst traps and well you start fucking and it ends up with you two dating.

Well that was long, hope you guys enjoy, don't forget to like or reblog if you like it.

#playchoices #poppy min sinclair #queen b #poppy x mc #poppydailychallenge #choices #makepoppyali2020 #queen b poppy #choices stories you play #tinder au #veronica lombardi #chloe st. james #headcanons #choices fic #i hope y'all enjoy reading #these is just my take on the Poppy tinder au that anon asked @somewillwin #squint squint #veronica x mc but its one sided bc mc is only interested in poppy

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riacte · 4 years

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This is going to sound really stupid but I cannot for the life of me guess who’s popular in MCYT.

Exhibit A: I genuinely, genuinely thought Grian was the least popular member of Hermitcraft because he was new to the server. I thought I didn’t know the other extremely cool and talented hermits because I was stupid and Not Cool and still somehow following this random rustic house channel from 2017. This is so funny because Grian’s literally the fan favourite. I could NOT be more wrong.

Exhibit B: I LEGIT THOUGHT THE HERMITS WERE POPULAR IN MCC??? Like in the GoodTimes of early Season 7, Hermitcraft was super mainstream, you could see Hermitcraft memes outside of Hermitcraft, there were Hermitcraft jokes/references in Minecraft/YouTube videos. And then there was the whole Mumbo for Mayor feat. James Charles fiasco. So I thought all of the hermits were getting really popular. A little bit after that, MCC happened, and I remember looking at the players and knowing no one except for the hermits, Pearl (because friend of the hermits) and Technoblade (because he’s the PvP king). (Yes, I was/am extremely ignorant about modern MCYT.) I assumed the hermits in MCC would be pretty damn popular because they have their own fans and Hermitcraft fans. And Hermitcraft was popular so the hermits would be popular, right? And I knew Grian is in MCC and Grian is SUUUUPER popular, right? So if he plays, he’ll be one of the most watched streams, right? I literally thought Grian and Mumbo were the two most popular MCYT in our year 2020 (YES, MY BRAIN LIVES IN 2016/17 BAHXJAJDJSJ).

And then MCC9 happened.

As a hermitfan (and eventual Hbomb and Fruit fan btw I’m sorry I discovered them so late and I’m so glad I’ve been introduced to them), I was ECSTATIC. Hermitcraft community was RIOTING. Grian’s three kills in Survival Games trended in the hermitcraft tumblr tag for like a month. But then the most trending posts in the MCC tags weren’t about the winning team? (Like if I scroll down I would find a lot of posts about them, but still the top fifteen posts were about... Dream Team or smth. Idek.) And I was genuinely confused? Blue Bats won against all odds? Even if you don’t know anyone on the team, it would be common courtesy to acknowledge their unlikely victory? I thought the winning team would be trending after every MCC. I know Ren/False aren’t the most popular of hermits so I was kinda clinging onto The Supposedly Massively Popular Grian to make a splash, which he did, resulting in the Dreamslayer memes. But still... Grian wasn’t as popular as I thought. And that made me think: wait, if even Grian, Mr. Supposedly Massively Popular barely makes it to trending, then... what about the other hermits?

It was then I realised hermits started to get real attention from MCC9. Prior to MCC9, I wasn’t invested in MCC at all and just really adored hermit content. And apparently from Frostbyte Freeman’s “How the Blue Bats Won MCC9” video, the hermits were looked down as points to be grabbed.

So apparently the hermits were Not That Popular After All. That’s not to say they’re “underrated” or being “slept on” or “they don’t have fans”. Hermits have a gigantic and loyal fan base, and they’re definitely getting a lot of attention now, I just didn’t expect Dream SMP to be so massively popular lol. (Dream absolutely slayed the YouTube algorithm. Legend.) I legit didn’t know they existed until people starting simping for them on Instagram. Oh well I’m stupid.

To conclude I have extremely bad judgement and awareness of whatever’s going on in MCYT and do NOT ask me who’s popular in MCYT because I thought Grian and Mumbo were the most popular in 2020 I’m so ashamed of myself bye—

#ria.txt #I’m so embarrassed #mcyt #dream smp I am sorry #my mind is just hehehe grian mumbo 2017 go brrr #my grian ass thought grian was the least popular #anyways I am wrong about everything lmao

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florianwirtz · 4 years

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The list is done!!! My judgement of my mutual’s taste in footballers. Here you can find the graphic version with my mutuals as their tumblr icons. If you’re my mutual and you’re not on the list, it’s not because I don’t like you, it’s more because I don’t know who you all fancy.

Under the cut you can find the explanation of my placements!! Pardon for the format, I did it on the phone and somehow screwed the average tier up but it ain’t that important cause no one placed there lmao. Lastly, I wanna clarify that all of this is just for fun, stop taking me or tumblr so seriously lmao.

Shit tier

@theweatha I don’t even know where to start with you. I will never process that you would do Sergio Ramos (maybe I can accept it at some point but not rn). Then we come to the other asshole named Roy Keane, while being a brilliant midfielder for us I will never understand why you would give him a 2nd look if we’re talkin about appearance and let’s not start talking about his character (although he’s a mood whenever he’s pissed for the right reasons). I don’t feel like starting with Nemanja Vidić as I have the feeling we will never come to an agreement. Not even Marcus Rashford can save you from shit tier, who is a very valid reason to nut to. I also didn’t forget you nutting to Trench (idc that you don’t anymore you still did and what a disgrace)

@emwritesfootball just no... every time you start talkin about why you fancy Cags, my opinion about your taste in men gets worse. Then I think about the other footballers you fancy and it doesn’t get any better, although Winksy is a valid one... he still doesn’t get you out of shit tier. But from someone who tries to me set me up with HARVEY BARNES I don’t expect any better tbh...

Very bad tier

@tottenhamsstuff i am sorry but how tf do you expect me to place you any higher when your crushes in footballers consists of an egghead, blonde Ron Weasley and the tiger from Ice Age? What saves you from shit tier is Gazzaniga who objectively is a handsome man and the fact that I’m biased because Scott plays for my team and your men at least seem to have a bit of a brain.

@shockintha you know I thought about this very carefully and realised that I can’t afford to make you cry and shit tier wouldn’t be fair to you because you do fancy some valid ones just as Brooksy and Sander Berge. Then you have DCL, Chilly and a few more who make it into average tier but Stewart Downing and the mop absolutely drag you down. Like for me it’s inexplainable how you can spare them a 2nd look, the way they look and act make me sick!! And the fact you don’t show one bit of shame pfffff. Very bad tier seems legit for me.

Debatable tier

@dancefaeries you truly are a white man’s whore and it’s disappointing because you had potential to make it to average tier but I came to the conclusion that Todd, Daniel Agger and Diet drag your ranking down. What makes you rank higher than Alice (aka. the only thing you care about) is that the men you fancy are all somewhat smart and almost all seem to have good political views. Also that others seem to fancy them too and it’s probably just me. Nevertheless, somebody explain me what makes you endear snakes so much.

@idiotsfc you’re lucky I love you and after you tried to explain to me why you fancy some of these men, I understand it a tiny bit 😂. Still, James Milner and Stevie G???? No. I definitely can understand what you see in Carra and Gary however it’s still borderline debatable. Characterically, they all seem quite intelligent and somewhat funny tho so I’ll give you that. What makes you place in debatable tier is that you fancy a few of the “normal” ones just as Chilly.

Not bad tier

@magicmartinelli I don’t even know who you fancy rn cause it changes faster than the tide but the ones you mentioned were all valid tho not my type most of the time. Except the last one. Out of respect for you, I’m not gonna say names because I know you’d come for my ass if I did lmaooo

@ari-lfc i only know you fancy scousers and it’s a big nono for me. The unfortunate thing is they’re not even bad looking so I can’t place you lower but I don’t think they’re handsome either so above average tier seems legit 🤣

Great tier

@danieljamesmufc you’re the only one i trust when it comes to taste in men because it seems like it’s us against everyone with awful taste. I think most of the men you allow yourself to fancy are valid choices. What makes you miss out on god tier is the one you rep looks like a fucking child and the american who talks like he’s about to order mcdonalds every day. Your taste in women is fortunately much superior.

@rxdia i trust you very much when it comes to taste in men because they’re all valid most of the time!! Your taste is exceptionally great and the fact that you were able to drop Matić after he was an ass, just showed how superior you are anyway 💫 you miss out on god tier because you told me that you fancy Owen Hargreaves and you’d do Nemanja Vidić and what the fuck why would you betray me like this.

@daviddegod again, I can’t say too many bad things about you taste in men after you dropped Maddison. While they’re all basic white boys mostly of the time, I feel and understand you. The ones who are a but questionable are Martin Ødegaard and Matthijs de Ligt because they just scream twink energy to me but okay I can ignore this. You didn’t make it to god tier because of Jonny Evans and Darren Fletcher, I can’t believe you made me even look at them and tried to convince me to see something in them.

God tier

@trentalexanders although you change your crush all 3 months, I never had any issue with yours 😂 they were all somewhat cute and I definitely understood why you would fancy them. I totally approve of your choice in men. Even though I wouldn’t choose them myself haha. But at least you never had a questionable one.

@ehrenbrandt basically we always fancy the same footballers and you know what good for us. Your choice in footballers is great although I will always judge you for that one ex bayern player who shall not be named and Marco Reus 😂

#mutuals tag #that was fun #argue with your mom about your placement tho 😂#this is what i did the whole train ride back home

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atopearth · 4 years

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Ikemen Revolution Part 11 - Oliver Knight Route

Lmao, I know Oliver is supposed to be intimidating with him saying that the heroine should compensate him for his broken invention with her body since she broke it, but I just found it so hilarious that because he's in the form of a child, the heroine just thinks he's weird and saying things he doesn't know the real meaning of hahahah. It's kinda cute how he just told her to clean hahaha, but she is a kid to him so it's understandable hahaha. I like how she'll become his assistant, I think that will be fun and the best way for them to bond~ Is Oliver a tsundere? Haha, it was cute how he was worried about her safety coming here as an assistant. Wow, Mousse looks pretty good looking! Lmao when he straightforwardly said she's exactly his type, like dang, you sure made that judgement fast. Hey! It's pretty cool how not only is Oliver an inventor, but he also makes extravagant and interesting hats!

I guess it's pretty cute how she's bonding daily with kid Oliver, getting to know how he is when he's happily creating his hats and inventions, and then when she's in trouble at night, adult Oliver comes to save her, and she gets to know how cool this version is. It's kinda funny how she doesn't connect the dots that they're actually the same person, but I guess that cluelessness and naivety is rather cute. Lmaoo when she asked kid Oliver whether the adult one was his father hahahah, she deserved the flick on her forehead hahaha. The monster teacher guy looks pretty cute~ I love how when Oliver forced her into being a volunteer teacher for the day, the thing she decided to teach them was playing and singing along with the London Bridge is falling down song that Oliver always sings when he's in a good mood hahaha. I feel as silly as the heroine to not realise that Oliver actually came from the Land of Reason as well! HAHAHA when she thought he was the first Alice🤣🤣🤣 It's saddening but understandable that Oliver wouldn't want to go back if there's no one there waiting for him. Legit wheezing at how arrogant yet confident Jonah is in winning the heroine over with a date lolll. Love how Jonah got a chance to do the "save the damsel in distress from dodgy people trying to con her into paying compensation money for their made up injury" and yet her heart didn't swoon and only made her have a more positive impression of him instead haha. It was the best when Oliver shoved the umbrella (that Blanc forced him to take to give to the heroine since it was going to rain) between their faces when Jonah wanted to kiss her lol. Honestly though, it's pretty hilarious how Oliver was the one who called her a kid all this time, yet he's the one to fall for her first.

As expected, the heavy downpour got Oliver sick with a cold~ It's kinda cute how much more vulnerable and honest he is when he's sick haha. Dum is an... interesting guy I guess lol. Anyway, nice to see Oliver show his thankfulness to the heroine for caring for him, it's nice to see how much he's warmed up to her. I felt Oliver's pain when he felt powerless having to watch Lancelot take the heroine away right in front of him. It's interesting that it's the first time he's ever lamented being stuck in the body of a child though. Anyway, now that Oliver is going to rescue her, and he doesn't want to tell the Black Army about it yet because it might cause a war, maybe we'll finally get to see the heroine realise that Oliver is actually an adult haha. Is Dalim the black robe guy actually Dum? Or the teacher guy? I kinda forgot what they looked like haha. Well, damn, adult Oliver looks great without the hat! I love how cute Oliver and the heroine are bickering with each other, mostly with him teasing her but it's just so adorable and wholesome haha. I loved how Oliver just moved his whole workshop to the Black Army headquarters so that the heroine wouldn't feel lonely, sad or bored, well technically, he'd feel that too but you know! It's nice that she's finally realised Oliver is the Mad Hatter though. I think the sweetest thing was when he said that he's going to focus on anti-magic weaponry now and won't make anything else until he's done with it, because this is the best way for him to protect her (like he told Kyle he would when he took her back from the Red Army). Honestly, I was so touched. Mainly because Oliver knows what he's best at, so he's utilising what he has to make something that he can make to protect her in the way that he can. I love it!

LMAO at Oliver and Blanc's first meeting in London. Blanc stepped on his own glasses and couldn't see, and seeing how clumsy Blanc was breaking it and thinking rocks were his glasses, Oliver said to him "I can't fix your brain, but I can repair those glasses for you" haahahah. It's so like Oliver to say that lol. I'm surprised Oliver was bored with making hats and stuff for the royal family etc, I would have thought creativity for crazy and fun hats would be rampant haha, I guess maybe the fact that it was for royalty instead limited the creativity. Anyway, lol at Blanc always dropping his pocket watch causing people to run after him and drop into Cradle! It just seems that unlike the heroine, Oliver didn't get the best newbie experience to a new world. How terrible that the moment he arrived in this world, he got captured by the people in the tower and got used as a specimen to experiment on, and that's how he's become like this... But I guess something good came out of it, which was that he was able to truly allow his creativity to fly in this world and invent whatever he liked without being restrained by his family or his customers.

I really loved how honest Oliver was when he said that he would miss the heroine once she goes back to London. And omgggg! The heroine was too clueless to get it, but it was really nice to see Oliver actually honestly tell her that he doesn't want to just be friends with her! To be fair though, I can see why the heroine wouldn't take the clue, Oliver has never really been exactly honest and straightforward with his feelings until now, so she's always felt that she was probably more bothersome to him when in actuality, he really enjoys her company lol. Aww that was so sweet! I love how Oliver said the heroine's idea of having flowers come out instead of that weird smoke that makes you meow (lmao) for the magic cancelling hat he was making was cliche, but in the end he decided to make it and even demonstrated it to her and the Black Army. I love how he's really listening to her properly and wants her to be happy. LMAO at the option to lift kid Oliver up to get a box, I can just imagine his reaction hahaha. To be honest, I do actually find it rather endearing that the child body never really bothered Oliver until now. I guess it's true though, I'm sure there were minor inconveniences for him, but never something enough for Oliver to think that he really needed to get his body back, until he fell in love with the heroine. Since he wants to be together with her, naturally he'll have to be the adult version because she can't be with a little kid lol, but I just find it really cute and amusing how her existence made him realise how much Oliver has probably been more tolerating his child body rather than liking it. Lmao, it's so cute how Oliver made four of those anti-magic hats and surrounded the heroine's bed with it to protect her from Lancelot etc ahahahah, it's good but so silly! I totally agree with Seth though, I can imagine how hideous it would be lol! But, I also agree with the heroine, seeing the hats really makes you feel how much Oliver wants to keep her safe. I love how even though Oliver makes the weirdest things, he has great style and really knows what suits the heroine best. I love how he added a flower as a corsage to her dress to really highlight her bright and cheerful self. I also find it really endearing how much he teases her. Okay, I knew she would look beautiful, but that CG with the heroine in her dress holding on to Oliver's arm was so beautiful!! The dress was pretty and the flower corsage was crazy big but the bright contrast against the dark green dress really made it look so good on her! I'm impressed haha! I loved their interaction as well, it's so true though, Oliver did say he wasn't coming to the party as a kid, but he never said he wouldn't come as an adult hahaha. Initially, I thought it was annoying that Oliver kept calling the heroine a dummy, but I have to admit, I find it rather endearing and affectionate now hahaha. I really love them together so much!

Nice to know that Amon wants revenge on the Land of Reason for whatever reason he has. Didn't realise that people from there can dispel magic? Does that mean Oliver and everyone else can do the same thing the heroine does? And that's why Amon is researching this magic so that he can render people like the heroine useless and then take over? I'm glad that the heroine was able to talk to Oliver's father and realise the sadness that accompanied a lot of what Oliver said. He likes Cradle, but at the same time, he loves his father even if his father's priorities had changed. I'm sure he wants his father to remember that passion he once had towards making quirky hats that made people smile rather than always just worrying about the reputation of the store and making normal boring hats. They must both feel bad that their last conversation ended in an argument... Omgg, I love how Oliver stitched on the hat he gifted her a message telling her to wait for him because he'll be there soon! How sweet! He really does everything at his own pace and without telling anyone though, just like how he decided to take the heroine's place at the magic tower so they won't go after her etc. He really needs to think about himself more! Hahaha omg, when Dalim talked about how on the day Oliver arrived, he knocked Oliver unconscious and made him drink the test potion of retrogression magic but then couldn't witness the effects of it because of Blanc coming to interfere, I couldn't help but think of Detective Conan LOL, I mean, they're both forced to drink something, they both turn into kids, it's just that Oliver only changes into one during the day haha. Now that Dalim is talking about how the effects on Oliver are weird and that it might be because something within Oliver caused the magic to take effect, I wonder if it's because Oliver cherishes his childhood as being the most precious time for him and what he would like to go back to?

I find it really cute how because of the heroine, Oliver thinks that maybe a normal life isn't so bad if she's in it with him, whereas for the heroine, she used to appreciate that "mundane" and simple life she had in London in itself, but after meeting Oliver, she found that a life with a bit of extraordinary stuff like Oliver isn’t too bad and kinda is what she wants in her life too. They both provide each other that little spark they both need in their lives imo. It was pretty hilarious when Oliver kept kissing the heroine in his child form, he knew it would make her uncomfortable lmao, he's such a tease🤣 But I guess after accepting all this and finding love with her, he can finally break free~ It's corny how they say it was the power of love that broke the spell, but I think it's more like, it was through his love for her that he learnt to accept his childhood that made him return to being an adult imo. Hahaha, I loved how Oliver's inventions made the battle against the magic tower so much more easier and funnier lol. Ohh, the pocket watch Blanc has is a gift from the original Alice! Aww okay, the power of love thing to break Oliver's spell was only temporary! Guess that's understandable and logical though haha. It was so sweet how adult Oliver so naturally held her in his arms to warm her up after her shower (since she's only wearing his shirt as PJs), like dang, my heart. I'm not surprised by Oliver's "other secret", but I guess I never really thought about the idea that the passage of time for his body has stopped as well, since he doesn't age and his body doesn't change or grow at all, everything just resets every time he turns into a child or something. Omggg, Oliver smothering the heroine with his love in the romantic ending is so cute hahaha, he's so honest about it in front of others too lol! I actually found it pretty funny and cute how they kinda reenact their first meeting, with the heroine breaking his invention again, but this time, the paying back with her body isn't really just cleaning it up anymore lol. Well, as expected, the reason Oliver changes into his child form is because he wants to escape reality and his work in London. I find it really interesting how he changes at 6am in the morning which was when he used to start work in London, and then changes into an adult at 6pm in the evening because that's when he used to finish work. And the reason why he can kinda control it now and change into an adult more often is because he's much more okay with the idea of going back to London at times, although he does really enjoy Cradle as well, so his form fluctuates. I actually really like how the heroine wasn't able to fix his curse and instead vows to help him fix it one day, whilst challenging him that in the future, she'll be the one to tease him and be more mature than him haha. They're both so cute.

Overall, I think I love Oliver lol! Initially, I was so disappointed that the new route was Oliver's, but after playing it, omg, it might be my new favourite! Maybe because Oliver is so cute but cool at the same time?! You get the cuteness from the child form and the coolness from the adult form! To be fair, you probably see the child form more, but I find Oliver really fun. He's a natural tease, pretty blunt and probably calls the heroine a dummy too much, but it's honestly endearing how he smiles so much towards the silliness of the heroine. I also love how they bonded daily by working together, sharing tea and food together and they just feel so natural to be together. I also love how he's not a fighter, so he knows how weak he is when it comes to combat, but he excels in his inventions and uses that to protect the heroine. I found the route so fun and refreshing even if it explored the usual stuff like him warming up to her etc, but it was done in a way I really enjoyed because even though he tried his best to not show it, you could really see after a while how soft he was towards her, and how much he got used to her being there with him, and how much it unexpectedly affected him. It's also really cute how honest he is about his feelings. I also really enjoyed Oliver's background story to his curse and how the heroine factors into it by providing him the ordinary bit in his "madness" towards hats etc, and how he realises that ordinary isn't bad at all, whereas the heroine understands that a little madness in falling in love with such a guy isn't too crazy after all. It was just so cuteeee the whole way through~🥰

#ikemen revolution

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paperclipninja · 5 years

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Younger post-ep ramble 6x09

After the very public outing of Liza’s real age last week, it was no surprise that this week’s Younger episode, ‘Millennial’s Next Top Model’, was all about the fallout. In true Younger style we were treated to some unexpected twists and turns, saw Kelsey take control at work and in her personal life and welcomed back my #1 mega-villain who I hate-love fiercely, Quinn Tyler. This ep was written by Grant Sloss, who is responsible for a number of my favourite episodes and lot of my fave moments in the series and one thing I am always blown away by is his ability to craft character interactions in which the sentiment and emotion are really palpable (plus the one-liners are always top of the game) and we certainly saw a number of those this week. Even though Liza is 100% responsible for the position she now finds herself in, my heart went out to her this whole episode and Kelsey, Charles and Diana’s show of solidarity right from the get-go pretty much sums up everything I love about this show.

I need to say upfront that while I know this episode is all about Liza, it is hands down my favourite episode of Kelsey’s in the series. In a time of real pressure and stress, we see Kelsey step up in the role of publisher, starting with the damage control team meeting in her office. I have big feelings about this opening moment, in which Diana proves why she is an actual Queen who rises above past grievances and now offers unwavering support of Liza while continuing to have zero time for Zane’s bullshit (the ‘well mercifully they have a paywall now’ to Zane’s New York Magazine tidbit was all of the yes). We learn of the deal with Infinitely 21 (was it just me or did anyone else get heart flutters at the thought of Kelsey, Diana and Liza being their brilliant selves and brokering that arrangement? Just me? Cool) and I have spoken of my love for the way this show parodies real life things but this might take the cake. Alexa, what are synonyms for ‘forever’? I just adore that it is very clear that Kelsey is in charge and that Charles and Diana are offering up potential solutions (Diana’s ‘rest her a bit’ is so in character I cannot. Between that and Charles’ thoroughbred thighs from season 4 I fully expect her to have a couple of horses upstate somewhere called Charles and Liza by the end of this series), meanwhile Zane clearly still hasn’t caught on to the fact that these three are not going to throw Liza under a bus.

Enter Liza as he’s ending his tirade about her poisoning the company (and lbh, what he is saying isn’t actually ridiculous from a business p.o.v but he’s talking about the best friend, girlfriend and (old) maid of honour of the people in the room) and it’s awkward af and pretty awful and I want to climb through my screen, wrap Liza in a blanket and tell her it’s all going to be ok. Zane’s extreme over-estimation of his importance in Liza’s life continues when he tells her that what he’s saying can’t be personal because ‘I don’t know who you are’ (worth it for Charles’ ‘Zane’ reprimand though amirite) and as I said after last week’s episode, I can’t even count on one hand the number of interactions Zane and Liza have had so yes Zane, that is accurate and nothing to do with her age reveal. At least once he discovered that Kelsey has known about the lie he FINALLY has a reason to be hurt (maybe? Still a little fuzzy on this one) and look Zane saying they’re all insane might be somewhat accurate but everyone in that room loves Liza and I love all of them so I felt personally attacked tbh.

Keeping with the stellar guest star casting this season, Shelly Rozansky (played by Annaleigh Ashford) is every kind of irritating as brand rep of Infinitely 21. Kelsey and Liza’s meeting with her, in which Shelly explains that 'the tea’ is that their authentic brand cannot be associated with Millennial’s inauthentic one (I love the moral high ground re: brand but I’m pretty sure Millennial doesn’t have factory workers making less than a living wage so…) and this very real ramification of Liza’s lie paves the way for one of Liza’s best moments on the show to date.

Taking that tea of Shelly’s and throwing it in her face, Liza’s monologue that 'everyone is pretending to be younger’ reaches it’s climax with the zinger, 'Millennial is not an age, it’s an attitude and if you can’t sell that, we’ll go somewhere else’, and Kelsey’s look of pride, same girl SAME. One thing I have commented on in the past is that as a '26 year old’ Liza rarely, if ever, really stood up for herself. The few times we’ve seen her do so have been as the forty year old who takes no crap from anyone (David, Charles, Don) so I am here times a million for strong ass Liza to finally shed that guilt, know her worth and be able to show this side of herself now that the lie is no longer in play (I feel like Diana will dig this very much).

Turns out Shelly was quite into Liza’s feisty outburst too ('what you screamed at me today, justifiably, we’re still friends promise…it resonated’ = award winning line/delivery combo), as she calls to let Liza know they’re going to unfreeze the partnership and asks Liza to be the face (and legs) of Infinitely 21’s Spring campaign. This phone call takes place in a very delicious looking cupcake shop where Liza and Charles are playing cards with his daughters in an all round delightful family situation that gives us a glimpse of the Miller-Brooks dynamic and makes the point that after a pretty terrible day, Liza is grateful to have this in her life to counter all the drama. I am also pleased to see that Bianca and Nicole have been located (meanwhile Caitlin, Beth and all of Josh’s friends remain stuck in the Upside Down or have become bunker people or something equally ominous I fear).

I am very into a number of aspects of this entire scene: a) Charles eating candy just up and gets me for some reason. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but it’s akin to seeing him walking round barefoot, it confuses my brain but I’m pretty sure I like it; b) Bianca is clearly the fave child with her cute little, 'I won’t take your last bag of candy Liza’ (lol at Charles’ 'wow’ when Liza offers that up for the taking btw, he knows that’s a serious gamble) though I was 100% Nicole as a kid; c) those kids are so not sleeping after all that sugar so I hope they’re staying at Pauline’s, while Charles’ dad game is strong with the breakfast cupcakes and; d) Charles kissing Liza on the cheek as she takes Shelly’s call is so damn sweet (pun intended) and supportive and I love that Liza suggesting he go stand with the girls in case she starts crying again indicates she has been an open mess around him. It’s writing like this that I really appreciate when there is so much to fit into an episode, because it provides insight into the kind of relationship Liza and Charles have when there simply isn’t time to show it.

While Liza is drowning her sorrows in candy and cupcakes, Maggie is at the brilliantly cringy art exhibit, 'Masculinity Detox: A Softer Male Gaze’. Look I have to be honest, I was really happy to see Oded Fehr because he can play a skeeze with charm like no other, but I don’t know how I feel about this entire plot. I can only comment on it from a straight perspective, so I am aware that I’m not really in a position to express an opinion in relation to the impact of showing a gay character thinking it’s a good idea to sample a penis every ten years or so, but I certainly feel like it’s problematic. In relation to this character though, it is consistent with Maggie sleeping with Tommy Minetti (and his sister Tammy) as a result of Berlin’s 'Take my Breath Away’ (I don’t know why I remember that, I can’t remember what month it is yet this stuff is right there) and there is no denying that there were actual sparks between Maggie and Rafael in the loft, the palpable chemistry that Grant Sloss’ eps seem to draw out on full display.

Another dimension of Maggie that I love seeing emerge in this ep is that while she is usually a total badass in absolute control, every now and then we see that her judgement of character is just way off. There was Montana, those weirdo art collectors who actually collect artists and now this guy. I love that there’s a side of her that gets a bit blinded by flattery so she thinks 'what the hell?’ and the inevitable 'oh I CAN-NOT with this bullshit’ that follows, usually very publicly - Exhibit A: Maggie countering dirtbag Rafael’s, 'I’ll change you mind, I’m a flipper’ with a literal flip of the restaurant table once she realises she was simply another conquest. She seems so unflappable that these reminders that she’s fallible (I legit sometimes forget she’s not an actual super hero) are really great and maintains the 'flawed human’ aspect this show does so well. Honestly, other than Liza in a full tracksuit (sweat clothes?? I don’t know what it is in American but that cute pink sweat top and sweatpants combo) thinking they were being robbed and very confused by what had happened (so were we all lbh and Kinsey 9 LOL), it was Maggie equating sex with a man to being suffocated by a damp rug that was the highlight of this entire storyline for me. So damn funny.

Diana continues to have Liza’s back as she heads to the photo-shoot to steer her away from anything pleather (I may need a spin off of these two or some kind of one off special episode that’s just an elaborate Diana/Liza adventure, maybe rescuing Caitlin and co. from the bunker??), but not before we catch Kelsey still slaying it as a boss as she leaves a voicemail for the increasingly petulant Zane. Hearing her so firm and sure of herself is brilliant and the friendship vibe between Diana and Kelsey is peaking and I am loving every bit of it. I am so glad we heard Diana asking Kelsey how she took the lie, while Diana was able to forgive and move forward it would have been strange if we didn’t see her still processing some of it this week. Plus it’s Diana who points out that Zane’s tantrum is not because Liza is who he is upset with (and THANK YOU Kelsey for pointing out that Liza and Zane hardly know each other).

Rather than letting the whole Zane thing fester away, Kelsey continues to impressively show initiative by going to Zane’s and offering to cook dinner (which Zane knows is a lol and it’s not long before he’s cooking, so well played Kels) to give him the opportunity to ask anything he wants and she will answer honestly. Once a proper explanation of why Liza lied and why Kelsey kept it from him is given, Zane suddenly reverts back to being a rational human being which is a relief because he was fast becoming the worst (though his comment that they were all bad liars, what now?? Yes they be cray but their lying game is strong friend). I am not particularly invested in Kelsey and Zane as a pairing but I always appreciate good storytelling and writing, and revisiting the fact Zane told her he loved her in past tense was an example of both of these. In order for any kind of relationship between these two to progress believably this needed to be addressed and hearing Kelsey call Zane out on his shitty and manipulative behaviour was great, but even greater was seeing Kelsey drop her guard.

Opening up about being mad at herself too and that maybe if they were both more open about their feelings they wouldn’t have wasted so much time denying how they really felt; that she felt, no, feels, the same way, present tense; the resetting of the timer so she can finish what she was going to say instead of taking the option of backing out; the honest conversation…you know what all this is? Growth. Kelsey Lorraine Peters, I am just so damn proud of you because I am the first to admit that I was not sure this character could be redeemed for me after last season but here we are. The emotion for this whole scene, you could feel it and Zane’s, 'oh that timer was for food’ was fab, before he just casually drops in, ’ I love you, but stay out of my kitchen’. OK. Smitten mode activated.

Meanwhile, Diana is no doubt enjoying Shelly’s disbelief that she and Liza are almost the same age about as much as a root canal and Lauren appears with a 'bowflex for your face’ to combat the 5 o'clock jowls. Side note: Lauren and Liza really need to have a convo asap because I definitely feel like Lauren is not ok with the lie since it’s been revealed. Scene of the ep goes to Charles walking into the trailer (with flowers for Liza *swoon*) while Diana is flapping that contraption, before he slowly backs away and I tell you, I was howling so hard I almost ruptured something. Liza’s hideous romper/scooter combo is just no on many levels, she clearly feels super unnatural and the photographer snapping Charles and Liza, who are not expecting to be photographed while her being made up to look so young obviously makes them look very far apart in age and a bit awks means that yes, the daddy/daughter dance vibe is strong, though that line made me vom in my mouth a little bit.

Between shoots our extremely excellent villain Quinn pays Liza a visit to show her support and her well-polling glasses. Her real talk that the good news about the publishing reaction to Liza’s lie is that 'eight blocks outside of midtown, nobody cares’, is what we were all thinking and is def to be filed under 'G’ for Gold. So naturally Quinn drags her into a completely self-serving NY1 interview (bless Liza for thinking they wanted to interview her) and I freaking love Quinn, she’s such a delicious character coz she’s awful and funny and pretty and a total smart ass. I stan.

Before we jump to the second part of the photo-shoot I have to say that the very obvious ploy to try and juxtapose Liza’s relationships with Charles and Josh felt like it was trying too hard and was mostly disappointing to me because it felt so forced. I want to be very clear that it has nothing to do with who I like Liza with romantically, it would have felt contrived regardless and was the only aspect of the episode that I felt could have been crafted with a little more nuance. Or maybe that was the point? Perhaps the obviousness was part of the humour of it *shrug emoji*

Either way, Liza is looking pretty exhausted when Josh turns up at the bar photo-shoot for reasons (whose name I am betting is Lauren Heller because there is no way he would just turn up and it is 100% in her wheelhouse to send him along after seeing the expressions on her face at the earlier shoot. I feel like this will def come out at some point and that really this whole shoot is serving to bring about stuff in future eps) and he doesn’t get to explain why he is there because he’s teasing Liza about being a model and I really do love their banter. Shelly has no idea what’s happening but she likes it and is thirsting pretty hard as she shakes his hand and I enjoyed hearing Liza talk about Josh as patient zero, her 'would you correct him?’ as she squeezed his cheeks made me smile. I know there have been a LOT of feelings about this scene expressed on social media, but I found the reminiscing, as Josh talked about how when he first met Liza he thought she was smart and sexy and he wanted to keep talking to her, really sweet (and quickly countered by his joking about being really drunk and it being dark).

I actually love this dynamic so much and if this show had moved these two properly into the friendzone I would be celebrating this as a pin-up example of how to show romantic-platonic relationship transition. I still may, because at this stage there is nothing to indicate that Liza is anything but committed to Charles and Josh gave no impression of pining for her IMO, but as an experienced TV connoisseur (aka obsessive tv show watcher) I am not naive enough to think that this interaction mightn’t be setting in motion a resurgence of the triangle. By the same token, I do not see any triangle in play at the moment and one thing this show does excel at is surprising us, so time will tell, but I am going to keep my faith in the writers to tell good, compelling stories that stay true to all the excellent characters and narratives they have in front of them, as they have done up until now.

While Liza’s colleagues aren’t going to throw her under a bus, Quinn is not only more than happy to, I’m pretty sure she’d drive the bus herself if it served her own self interest. Quinn saying that she found out about Liza’s lie the week before in The New Yorker article, ooomph, did you feel that? It was the wind being knocked out of all of us, along with poor Liza, as Quinn counters Liza’s suggestion that she knew the truth before she invested on live TV. It was evident fairly quickly that Quinn was using the interview as a campaign platform and Liza’s expression as Quinn betrays her so publicly is yet another credit to Sutton Foster’s incredible talent.

My Kelsey love was brought home this week when she met Quinn following the NY1 interview. She is unrelenting in her backing of Liza and unwavering in her stance to Quinn when she is asks her to fire Liza. From the moment she arrives Kelsey is so kick ass, she sees every one of Quinn’s attempts to bully her into getting what she wants and Kelsey’s, 'please don’t minimise the strength I bring to this meeting’ was such a hell yes moment. There is something so satisfying about seeing Quinn in a position where she needs something from Kelsey and Kelsey standing so firm. Kelsey’s 'are we done here?’ before walking away was such a power move and the transition into her own office the next day, with Charles reassuring her that she did the right thing, was wonderful. Seeing these two as equals, talking business with a bit of a mentor/mentee dynamic is a dream. It was on my season 6 wish list and I can’t wait to see more of it.

It is upon discovering that Audrey Colbert’s manuscript delivery cheque bounced and that Diana just heard one of the Jennifer’s, the sloppy one from publicity (this line, I swear and also I need to meet her), say her direct deposit didn’t go through that we discover Quinn has thrown the ultimate tantrum and pulled her funding and Mercurennial is broke.

Poor Liza feels that it’s all her fault, I’m sure partly because of the way her colleagues turn and look at her when she walks in the office and partly because it is, but Charles continues to play the role of ultimate supportive partner as they stroll down the street after work, pointing out that Liza attracted Quinn to the company in the first place (and we ALL know it was not the company she was attracted to). I am simple folk and Charles saying he’s spoken for as he put his arm around her made me melt into a puddle and if anyone is feeling concerned about Liza’s level of besotted, watch this final scene as Charles reassures her that, 'you know what’s great about the worst thing happening? There’s no place to go but up. Only good things ahead’. I may have actually died from the sweetness of the entire thing and Liza does exactly what any self respecting person would in that situation and kisses him before they walk off hand in hand. To live happily ever after…jokes LOL I mean it’s television and it turns out Infinitely 21 has the most efficient marketing team on the planet because their campaign is launched and whattya know, it looks as though Liza and her ex will be plastered all over the city.

File under 'O’ for OF COURSE.

#youngertv #younger tv #ramble #review #younger season 6 #6x09 #liza miller #charles brooks #diana trout #kelsey peters #team charles #tv

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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

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14x01 watching notes

RIP Kip, we hardly knew ye.

Well hey, returning friends and people who unwittingly clicked on this not knowing exactly what they're in for. Blowing off the dust and starting a new season of Dabb fuckery, which I spent way too long trying to think of a portmanteau for when I already have the episode downloaded

It's 5am, let's DO THIS.

So they start with Dean's Hi I Am A Cop On The Day Before I Retire speech re: hula girls and hawaiian t-shirts which is remarkably prescient of me to have been irrationally upset about that one detail after I binged most of season 13 last night to get me back in the mood. So now I have to elaborate on my one line textpost >.>

Because yes, that is the perfect note to start the season on: Dean thought the good times had rolled, allowed himself to hope, assembled himself a family with mom and step-pop (Bobby counts as a full father but AU Bobby is step-pop), brother, husband, kid... Said kid was promising A World Without Monsters aka Dabb's showrunning tagline for an endgame he teases them. And Lucifer was tucked safely away in an AU with the murderous Michael... And then in a series of events it all came crumbling down and with this amount of goodness in his grasp, he gave up what even when the real Michael was hounding him for it, he couldn't before.

Because in season 13 it is beyond obvious that Dean is tired, an Old Hunter, the best of his game but ready to bow out on that note, and yet for him it's not a matter of stepping back and letting someone else handle it because when Michael and Lucifer were involved, it was beyond personal. He and Sam only EXIST because Lucifer and realMichael wanted them to. And so there was no way this trouble would come to someone else's door, when it was the nasty angel on his shoulder and the devil on Sam's and we have Nougat as their collective responsibility who's the nexus of it all anyway.

Eeee the Road So Far text is glowy grace colour on a dark blue background. I'm JIZED for the title card.

Goodness, the Road So Far is a weird journey because we see Jack being all useful and magic and then callbacks to 13x01 and 2 where he was a messed up 2 day old and Dean just wanted to murder him.

I haven't outlined any expectations for this episode or even this recap but I suddenly realise that I should probably be wondering how much DeanCas we're gonna get in it, and this rage against Jack is subtextually motivated, for sure, but for me the first 6 episodes of Dean's grief arc were wonderful character stuff but removed from the main plot and therefore in my head I keep boxing them off like a bubble season, like 10x01-3 are, and I legit wasn't even expecting to SEE content from them in the recap, because brilliant as they are I sort of just forgot they were a part of this season despite watching them yesterday. The season for me became so much the Jack And Mary Search that this hiccup at the start didn't meet the requirements to be in season 13 :P

They're just That Time Dean Was Really Sad About Cas Then He Came Back And They Were Cowboys

Oh good there was "everybody we've lost" and then a recap of Cas dying and then - oh, we're recapping plot again? Er... everybody? Dean? Who else? DEAN?

this was the thinly veiled subtext of that line anyway since Dean waved off Mary and made it all about Cas anyways but. Yikes, editing team.

Jesus I watched season 13 yesterday and I forgot about Asmodeus. You know what, this is pre-coffee AND the 2 types of anti-brain fog medication I gobble in the morning.

But he's that much of a useless lump

Also too much Lucifer nipple on screen pre-coffee. Ick.

Nice recapping of Not The Levitating Fight.

NOW

Stock photo Nyoom of the season!! Hi Baby! You aren't in this episode because Eugenie said the car wasn't being used this season

Sam's got his Vengeance Eyes on but he's all scruffy and grown up so I trust him 10000% to get the job done.

OW. FUCK. OW. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. GOOD USE OF INTERSTITIAL MUSIC

Why were you even listening to Dean's tapes if they fuck you up that badly? IS THIS YOUR VENGEANCE PLAYLIST? I'VE BEEN WAITING 10 YEARS

Actually, I haven't, I binged 4-5-6 as one unit after thinking the show was cancelled during the writers' strike but the point is that Sam and his ipod in 4x01 is immediately in my head because he was listening to his own music and being a hipster douche, but now he is not on demon blood he has not installed an ipod dock because he's GETTING DEAN BACK, DAMMIT but at the same time he's also realising that this means a heavy toll that the only driving music in the car is Dean's stuff...

Oh no, this must be the guy from the SDCC clip we hadn't seen because Osric Chau is banned forever for illegally uploading them all for us in the past, and all I know is that Deanchael is going to Fuck Him Up and I feel very bad for him

*raises my mug to Osric* I'm sure you tried, dude. And thanks for the previous years.

Hi Deanchael. I noticed in a promo pic that his tie has that sacred geometry type pattern on it which is a detail I made a mental note to type out literally anywhere in the like month between there and here and did not so here it is at a hopefully appropriate place.

Based on every other scene setting detail I suspect that this faithful man is actually still within the USA because this is literally the cabin set they re-use for everything. The spoilers made it sound like Deanchael was globe trotting to raise his army but now I see what's around us... Yeah no he's as focused on the US as every other big bad before.

Anyway they really specifically chose this prayer to Allah because of how pointed it was about being only for Allah and how he was the best, so I'm assuming Deanchael is here to be like yo God's gone and I'm your last chance of faith

Like just ruin his day and he got up at like 4am or whatever the first prayer is to do it and all

I hope, like, no offence to any Muslim viewers or anything >.> They sure play fast and loose with a lot of this stuff because Christian cultures are full of bitter non-believers raised in the culture and looking to kick up at the big guy in the sky, which is not an impression I get that Islam is as used to cultural flippancy, regardless of personal beliefs of residents of predominately Muslim countries and cultures. I'm not 100% sure though, because the closest link I've got is my raised-Christian Iranian friend who applies Christian eye-rolling to the issues with being in Iran and heathen so I still get that perspective of middle fingers up at Organised Religion from our discussions about it all... anyway big diversion, still waiting for coffee to kick in :P I just swallowed the last of it so I can only get more jittery from here on out!

It's so fuckin weird to see Dean's face confidently reciting verse in Arabic

I mean you don't need the hat, sir. I get it. It's not you in there.

Well so far anyway he's playing on the fact that the guy does pray to god and his angels.

Lol @ this man guessing his way through God AND Gabe to Deanchael's annoyance that he's the 3rd guess and he has to clarify that he's the better one.

Man, Gabriel worked on his reputation. I wouldn't have been able to tell you who Michael was because there wasn't even a kid in my class with that name when I was age 4 busy portraying Gabriel in a nativity play with full impish glee that the real deal would have been proud of.

Uhoh things aren't looking good for Jamil D: Asking for peace and love is good, you funky little hippy.

Is Deanchael implying that the Syria insurgency is the route to peace? I honestly don't know enough about the American foreign policy politics to know what sort of stance this is though from a liberal leaning show (I mean come on Bobo is a card-carrying socialist, I've seen it on Twitter :P), though to an outside viewer well aware of how fucked up it all is should this have been said on a British program, this is a vast over-simplification.

But we know Michael's main traits are Likes War and then also Warmonger and of course, spoilin' for a fight. So this may be a personal judgement and as much as they're bringing politics into their show I'm just backing right on out and going with this :P That he thinks it is more honourable to stay and fight and that Jamil is a hypocrite for not sticking around to work for peace actively.

Oh Jamil hooked up with a woman called Darleen. He is FOR SURE in America.

It's so funny to me that Deanchael can fly anywhere and they could have set this anywhere but it still ends up being a wooden cabin in the US. This has to turn out to be a lead to follow with a news report about the poor guy or else this is just hysterical that they couldn't be arsed to mock up even a hint of another country :P

He knew all this about Jamil beforehand so I have to assume he's really just here to drag him.

Man, that throw was GOOD. I'm assuming they either spent all summer playing with wires and stunts or else they've gone back to the drawing board on all this flinging people around business.

"A better world" oh we are so on for this World Without Monsters malarky still. This lines up with the clip from Dean they opened on so well - the dark irony of he and Michael working on the same project but from different angles. Dean wants to sort out monsters and bad things so he can go on a beach, aka his version of paradise, and Mikey wants to smush all the sinners, and clean up the planet, which is HIS version of paradise.

HECKIN GOOD TITLE CARD

now photoshop those wings on everyone

I LIKE SCRUFFY BULLET MAKER FROM THE AU.

He's like so happy to be in a world where you just casually have resources.

Meanwhile poor Maggie has become the de facto nurse and hates it.

Ugh the Bunker is a place where people just show up who yell "Soup's on!"

In my redshirt betting pool, Soups On is the first guy who dies.

Promo sceeeeene

I'm so happy Sam and Mary are doing this together. Last season Sam was so upset that Dean got to have a relationship with her, and he had missed out, but without Dean around - no offence to him - Sam and Mary may be focused on FINDING him but this is the work they also need to do for their relationship to start to ground it in something real. It's taken this long with all the separations, but remember that Mary also worked through some of her issues about Sam only last season in the AU with 6 month old Jack. And if she needed that sort of reminder and relationship to warm her up for Sam, her suddenly-grown 6 month old, then there were still a LOT of underlying issues that dated back to the start for her to overcome. Hopefully this puts them on a level playing field, though there's a new conflict brewing for them, with Mary's determined optimism vs Sam's pessimism, born of that depression from last season that never really got treated or resolved, they just managed to power past its current main triggers. Of course now it all just shifts in a Deanward direction.

I love how Ketch has been punted to London, at Buckleming discretion to drag him back. This wasn't even Bobo punting him out the door, and he and Buckleming have a violent back and forth over favourite characters, started in 9x06 with Bobo's very first episode when he banished Professor Morrison forever.

MARY TRIES MOMMING SAM TO GO TO BED

THEN SCRUFFY GUN GUY IS LIKE "CHIEF"

Chieeeeeeef.

Sam runs the shooow here and I love it. He's their badass MoL hunter leader, a scruffy saviour from another world.

Given Sam is wearing the same shirt and jacket in the promo pics I'm guessing he does not sleep, though I hope he gets to eat the soup.

"Maggie can you hack the traffic cams?" "um. no."

I love and support Maggie. She is a normal person who happened to live in apocalypse world and she just wants to flirt with the guy from the Gas n Go who probably hasn't talked to her since that got blown up and Jack attacked him over her... I mean, this is better than the AU world but maybe she just wants to be normal? Did anyone ask Maggie what she wanted??

SAM. You can eat your soup and run things at the same time! Get back here and eat that soup!

"yes sir"

Goodness, this is wonderful. Sam's doing what he was born to do, and then not because that was leading a friggin demon army, but then yes because he's got inherent leadership traits that he defers to Dean all the time because, well, he's there, and he's big bro.

Look, sometimes you need big bro to murder Satan's ass for you forever, but you also should be calling the shots. There's a balance here, where Dean can be the older brother, but Sam can be the boss. Work/life balance. Dean's got your back but you command an army of hunters, like we've all been salivating over since like season 8 when they first said the MoL ran the Bunker as the hub of operations dictating stuff to trusted hunters and the like.

Of course, if Sam is the Bobby here, then who is the AUBobby? I hope we see what's up with that soon, I've been wanting them to bristle those beards in an alpha way at each other for months, because AUBobby was their leader before Sam because Sir Chief.

"Sam."

"i'm good"

*mothering intensifies*

"i'm GOOD"

*mothering intensifies*

"How's Jack"

You aren't used to being mothered and it's murdering me completely to my soul. Dean's got SO MUCH MOTHERING all through the show compared to you. He even sees Jody as a mom friend while you crush on her like crazy so you haven't even got that!!!!

Because Chief Sam is the boss of this lot but at the SAME TIME he's getting all these soft tender mom moments he's never got to have before. It's a wonderful balance of nuances to his current life. He's overworked but surrounded by a supportive care team that respects him, gives him soup, and holds his hand, literally in Mary's case. And yet he's the scruffy macho competent boss who knows how to call all these shots, deputise, set up missions, but still knows more than them, how to do traffic cams, I'm sure years of lore over most of these hunters who only learned to deal with what got thrown at them in the apocalypse by trial and error because when do they get lore books? Mary and Bobby and other pre-apocalypse hunters would be few and far between to offer competent training to a populace suddenly all turned hunter.

Oh, AUBobby is beating up Jack. Perfect.

AAAH DIRECTED BY TJW

WAS NOT ADEQUATELY HOLDING ONTO SEAT

WARN A GIRL

I love finally seeing the training room but I'm deeply conscious that this is where Put Up Your Dukes starts and I can't get that fan fic out my mind so I'm just like, Jack, don't lie on the floor, your dads have banged there.

I'm so happy that AUBobby is nurturing a grandson, because this is the difference between him and Bobby - that our Bobby had that with Sam n Dean, but AUBobby never did. Though he DID have Mary Campbell to crush on, I doubt it would have softened him and rounded out the harsh places in his soul the same way raising Sam and Dean did, because he had an unrequited love and she hadn't gotten over John, while this recently widowed Mary Winchester actually has made better progress just because of the circumstances of the loss. Anyways Jack has no preexisting history with Bobby so there's nothing weird about him and AUBobby stepping into a nurturing relationship, that Sam n Dean would find uncomfortable in a way, given their relationship with Bobby. And Jack gets yet another strong figure to teach and guide him.

AUBobby looks slim and stands tall compared to Bobby, which I'm largely putting down to posture, and not being drowned in layers. I like this difference - Bobby almost never voluntarily dressed in 1 layer, but AUBobby has a more military slant, and this training sergeant routine with Jack is a good fit to show a difference in his character, that isn't surly old Bobby behind his desk, that he's involved in teaching Jack to fight, rather than helping hunters with lore and swigging whiskey.

I'd assume given the lack of availability in his AU, he's considerably less alcohol dependant, so this is a very different character thing. If Bobby were doing this training, and nothing else was different, he'd be taking a breather to pour them both a whiskey as he imparts wisdom.

Demon in nice shoes and dark sunglasses at night to indicate that yes I am a demon I have black eyes :P I assume this is a demon anyway not just because of this detail but pre-season spoilers

Ah hearing Cas's name is enough to make my heart pick up. MY GUY!

But then, "Castiel, darling"

Stop trying to make Good Omens happen, it's not going to happen. You can't just "darling" up to an angel and expect that good good romance. Crowley took years to wear Cas down and Cas never actually LIKED him, down to their last real interaction where Cas was just "WTF???? LEAVE ME TO ROT AND DIE" when Crowley saved him in 12x12

God I miss that

"Oh god."

Same, buddy.

You do, however, realise this is your first words of the season gifset line, though?

Someone ought to write to Dabb and inform him that people make first and last word gifsets and to be more careful.

Especially if in the last episode at the end of the season, Cas's last word is "Dean"

Anyway Cas has said 1 line and I can tell he's on top form. Unlike 10x01 he's in a hipster hogroast joint.

This demon, with dark black sunglasses inside at night (douchebag) just ordered a coffee, black. WE GET IT, ENOBY DEMENTIA DARKNESS RAVEN WAY, YOU ARE GOFFIC AND IT'S AS BLACK AS YOUR SOUL

LOL Cas is sitting under the JACK'S sign.

Demon douche sits under Schultz, which is the death beer. And lemme tell you, TJW is well-versed in this. So well-versed in it he's sat Cas in front of a classic El Sol flyer with the subtle touch required to tell Dean that Cas is his dream girl. He knows his shit.

This seriously seems to be implying that the rise of hipster food joints is an effort from Hell to spread chaos on earth

Cas sitting with his back to the fire is such an interesting visual, but this is just a note to self for later to guess what it all means

THIS FUCKIN DEMON TOOK HIS BLACK SUNGLASSES OFF TO SHOW OFF HIS BLACK EYES

Dabb is so good at incidental characters, and making me hate this guy for nuanced nonsensical reasons is amazing. This is... art...

This is a callback to 5x08 and Dean ranting about hating procedural cop shows then him and sam taking their sunglasses on and off at night every time they made a pun and I'm 100% convinced since 12x01 and Cas busting through that Mystery Spot sign that Gabriel has been subtly influencing events

Okay so we know exactly what is written on demon bathroom walls. I'm taking that as a sideways confirmation that Cain knew full well that Dean had his Colette because he'd seen crude doodles of them doing it

Anyway douchedemon just outright told Cas that all the demons assume he and Dean in particular are banging. Not that Cas bangs Winchesters, as some have implied, without knowing all the details. They've narrowed this info down.

I assume this is also in the Winchester Dossier that Barthamus studied from before meeting them. I love that demons probably do have a filing cabinet somewhere of all the notable assholes they run into in their work, and the Winchesters take up a whole cabinent, but the refresher file summarising them in a paragraph if you don't have time is like, Sam: Lazy boyking, will stab you. Dean: fucking Castiel, will stab you.

Cas doesn't even move an eyebrow. Incredible.

Cas rarely gets hit with these compared to Dean in the history of the show, and Dean is full of bluster or anger or confusion or alarmed eyebrows. Cas is like... no. fuck you. i'm party!Cas, I have my shit in order.

Though this is from a demon. It's an entirely different thing when Heaven is involved, as they also have their dossier on the winchesters.

Sam: abomination. will banish you. Dean: fucking Castiel. Will stab you.

*loud coffee slurp* "what's in it for moi?

Cas, stab him. Stab him now. This is not worth the information. You can find another guy.

I'm starting to think Cas with his back to the flames is his unwitting danger from this hellish hogroast place.

They use Shultz beer containers to hold the sauces and menus on the table. DEEEEATH

Cas speaking slower and threatening to burn him to ash "right here and right now"

this is a gifset that will get a lot of notes from thirsty Cas fans

Whaaaaaaaa the entire joint turned out to be owned by and filled with demons who would ever have guessed based on one open fire and that metal hogs head from the promo pics :P

Stop hurting him!!!! Misha can't stage fight! This is really unfair!!

I wonder how the poor new awesome fight coordinator took to Misha

"let's just... um..." "hide him behind all these demons?" TJW suggests The fight guy nods sadly.

Aww Sister Jo got back to work. Good for her.

Sister Jo has no fear and can stroll down a shady alley counting her money

*t-shirt meme* One fear: *flappy wing noises*

"Hey Jo."

GHOLY SHIT TRUE FORMS TYHUEOJDSHGFSH DS TRUE FORMS WE SEE WHAT ANGELS SEEE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SCIENCE HAS CAUGH T UP TO THE DIVINE, SPN CAN FINALL Y SHOW US WHAT ANGELS SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Holy shit I want the gif of this as my blog header. That's shitting amazing.

Burning HALO

ALL HIS CHI POINTS LIT UP EVEN WHEN IT MAKES IT LOOK SILLY TO HAVE HIS CALVES GLOWING

I wonder if this is what Danneel sees when she looks at Jensen all the time

"Why would he say yes to you?"

"Love"

I'm dying and I am dead. I gather that Dean is 100% absent from this episode, but that one comment puts him front and centre and I am in paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain. Everything happening around Michael and because of Michael is because Dean loves his peeps. From Sam staying up hacking traffic cams on vampires to Cas getting his ass handed to him by demons.

I bet Cas looks like that single glowstick he had on in the cave when angels look at him.

Party!Cas

I ruined the fun

Jensen gently touches Danneel's face and that's just rude because that's all his tenderness for his wife being turned into a scary villain move between Deanchael and Jo. Don't do this to them!!!

Oooof Deanchael pulls from Dean's memory of Anael about what she was like, describing her in the most Cas-like terms, then cuts through her hilarious bull about wanting handbags (this is so meta about sticking middle fingers in the faces of people who think she's a well-paid beard) and then starts telling her she wants love and a family.

Deanchael has used the word "love" twice in a scene and it's horrifying to see the word come out of his face, when Dean is so guarded. Now Deanchael is just looking through Sister Jo and analysing what she wants - and she's playing this game very well but this move of his might still beat her. Because ow. Telling her she wants belonging and family. When she's very much established as a Cas mirror by the reminder she ran away from Heaven and doesn't want to play by their rules.

"It's very, very human of you. And so disappointing." Did all those times Lucifer sucked her grace bring her close to feeling it? To the point of permanent damage? I only ask because I know another guy this might apply to.

I wonder how much Deanchael is projecting based on conjectures because he knows Cas through Dean's eyes.

"But if they're all these sad, lost, fallen things..." Ya, that's Cas too for suresies

SAM AND JACK SAM AND JACK

Jack sitting quietly in meditation, clearly unsettled. A parallel to 13x23 when Dean came rushing in to him having a nightmare, now Sam is having a crack at parenting the boy.

Jack lying about how things were fine. Nougat. Hon. You're human now. But not that good at being human. Sam knows your tells :P

Sam interrupted mid pep-talk by Mary with some nonsense.

Jack is always so ugh... accepting and kinda flippant. He knows parental figures can be disappointing and get dragged away mid peptalk by some business.

Which he's apparently not involved in. I guess after we see him going on hunts with them in 13x23, he's grounded until he goes through basic training so not only is he useless to help with his powers to find Dean, but he can't even do the easy hunter stuff because he's just a kid.

Aww my poor baby Nougat :( He's so angsty. He's a TEEN. Lookit him! All growed up!

Uuugh I guess this is Nick. "I didn't talk to him. I can barely look at him."

What I'm getting from this sequence mainly is the sound of Triss's rage at the Bunker layout.

*Mary pats Sam's shoulder supportively and walks off*

You're on your own, Chief.

Ugh I am not ready for this bull if it's Nick but I have to keep watching to be sure :P

Ew it is. EW. What does Mark P HAVE on you all.

At least TJW is shooting the heck out of this to show us how gross Sam finds this all.

Sam's shadow falling over Nick.

I really want to know how this bullshit happened. And yet. No, not really.

Oh gross AND they're making Mark P take off his shirt. The nipple I didn't want to see in the Road So Far was not warning enough.

Pre-season ugh speculation was that whatever Crowley did to Nick made him stronger and more permanent apparently even than Lucifer being stabbed out of him.

So yeah anyway I guess Jack is in part also sulking about this and I'm with him, because Sam being pulled away from their pep talk time to deal with Gross Man Associated With My Father But Not Actually Him Because Biologically I Am The Son Of A Non-Historical President...

Making Sam the one who has to care for Nick is utterly cruel. He has so many deputies. Maybe this is just his personal fear that Nick's still a bit Lucifery. Maybe he just sees this as a gross burden, a manifestation of the ongoing trauma from Lucifer, that even when he's dead he lingers.

Plus, it's giving us some reassurance that an angel can be ousted from a vessel without killing them, to throw some options into the Deanchael pot.

Still. Nick. Really.

I bet Jack is sulking because some little cosmic part of him regenerating deep down in his core, that one lil gold glowy chi point in his big toe, knows that Eugenie forgot his name at SDCC and called him "Nick" and this shit from your creator just weighs on you. Jack is an entity beyond Buckleming and yet born from them, and this is what they beget: forgetting their own child in favour of this old carcass.

bitter? moi? *sips coffee noisily*

Actually, that's not true but I need some tea because I'm sulky so I'm taking this ragebreak to go make some and then I will sip it noisily in Nick's direction. :P

Everything henceforth is under the jurisdiction of hot drink no.2

"I don't understand how Lucifer could die and I could live"

I hate you

Eurgh, I bet you anything Dabb pulled a Buckleming and just took the post-it note they gave him when he asked, er, HOW does this happen? and transliterated it into dialogue because 1: all the writers shade Buckleming all the time because I can literally see it ooze out of Perez and Yockey and Bobo's writing but this is the showrunner, guyses. 2: it's such a dumbass convoluted explanation that it only burns out the archangel but if you non-fatally stab it then the guy is fine.

Which begs the question of how the fuck is Gabriel because if we get anything good from this, that fucker is in one hell of an interesting vessel situation compared to Old Nick.

PS: I am not sure how culturally saturated this is so we are all clear that Old Nick is a historically used name for Satan and his name has been a joke since 5x01 thanks to Kripke, and now we have to actually deal with that.

And then Nick is actually sympathetic to how Sam feels looking at him. I guess Mark P really wants us to feel sympathetic to his new dude.

"And Michael... did he tell Lucifer anything about his plan?"

Listen, we NEED acknowledgement that for a month or so Lucifer and AUMichael roadtripped together to assemble from their AU the key of solomon, the fruit of the tree of life, and the blood of a most holy man.

There was a lengthy downtime while people settled in and Dean was allowed to think the Good Times were rolling, and all that time, the weirdest brother roadtrip show ever was going on in the AU, mad enough that I would actually find it hilarious to watch despite enduring Mark P as a result of it.

SAM DOES NOT DESERVE THIS

He's not allowed to rest, ever.

I bet this is douchdemon phoning him from Cas's phone.

"Hello Sam!" says a perky voice down the phone. It's INCREDIBLE how unlikeable this demon is making himself. He's actually my favourite character now.

Oh no, Nougat is wearing a different grey shirt. He's really depressed. Someone help him.

"He just told you he was a demon?" "he seemed proud of it too"

Sam hates him as well. I can't wait for Sam to come scowl at him.

"What do we do?" Maggie asks, completely wide-eyed. Oh honey. Poor, innocent, sheltered Maggie. What were you doing all apocalypse until we caught up with you? You aren't hardened, you're adorable.

AUBobby and Rufus (his gun)

"I'm coming too!" YAY JACK. Your father is in trouble, he's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days, but what a different world all the rest is

"I'm not as strong, but I can help," he says, looking tiny beside Sam, bruised up from AUBobby's training, a single layer to make him look even smaller...

(we do not talk enough about how all these jackets are a sort of alpha being shoulder plumping thing like when you make yourself look huge to scare off a mountain lion but that's 100% what this is)

IT MADE JACK SMILE yey he's allowed to feel useful! Pop is allowing him to go on a mission to rescue Dad who was looking for Papa when this all went down.

Grandpapa is not so pleased, because AUBobby has been measuring how useful Jack is and I feel like lil Nougat bab is going to do something mildly heroic for Cas or else get pasted for his ongoing character development for the season...

"He needs this, Bobby."

Dear LORD does he not quit? We don't even know his name? "Are you sure I can't get you anything... hot... or black?" FUck OFF

No wonder by the promo pic Cas looked so utterly done. This is exhaustingly annoying for him. Cas's personal hell is just irritating people. A line of Crowleys and Lucifers and this jerkwad chattering at him.

And yet Dean runs his mouth all the time and Cas is in luuuurve

Oh lordy are we really doing this coffee metaphor now? "Coffee has no effect on me" (but he once acquired the taste, and it was a core part of him being human and learning to human in the opening shot of 9x06 for him as his metaphor for how he was learning)

"me either *sluuuurp* not any more. But it's like saltwater taffy or infants. I just like the taste."

"I'm just being a good host like mother would have wanted"

Cas stops mid eyeroll to eyeroll HARDER at meeting ANOTHER demon with mommy issues. Like, please. Don't. I like Rowena now but can we NOT.

Party!Cas of Dabb era is my favourite iteration of Cas by a country mile.

"Why are you using me as bait?" "it's kind of what you're for"

Oh Cas. Now he's just the damsel in distress, which I guess is a step up from being an attack dog, but still isn't that great for the ego stroking about his role and use within the Winchester family, an ongoing source of stress for him, this reminds us.

Cas's faith in Sam is wonderful. like, as soon as douchmon says he needs something from Sam, Cas just SMIRKS like, OH BUDDY. BUDDDYYY. No, I'm not gonna say it. I'm just - "you think he'd make a deal with you?" I'm ... I don't laugh as a rule but inside? Hilarious.

"Somebody asked me what it was that I wanted" You know, I think Deanchael is INCITING people. he's not killing any of them, just using the revelation of his appearance to motivate them - moving Sister Jo to do what she wants, which is to re-organise Heaven with the ideas she had as a button pushing functionary... visiting world leaders and holy men, and this douche...

To what end, though? Chaos? This is a roundabout way to make a better world.

"Destroying, Drinking, Defiling, you know, the 3 Ds" they absolutely have posters up in Hell with this on for the newbies to learn.

We've seen Heaven's staffroom, I DEMAND to see the break room in Hell, with all its lurid Destiel smut doodled on the walls and so on

Anyway it's a hell of a question, pun intended, because demons have no real purpose, even the named baddies have largely been slaves to someone else's will (Lucifer or Crowley) and Crowley could not have answered that question from the start of season 6 through to the moment he chose to sacrifice himself... I don't think any of TFW 2.0 or Bunker Squad could answer it fully. Cas can't, and that's the question that's been bugging him since 9x06 -

EPHRAIM Shh-shh-shhh. It'll be over soon. I'll take the pain away.

CASTIEL I want to live.

EPHRAIM But as what, Castiel? As an angel? or a man?

and it's what his entire crisis in season 10 was over... Who ARE you Castiel? What do you WANT?

Dean wants a Beach Vacation Ending. He figured it out and as narrative punishment, he's Deanchael. No one else has sorted it out, though, but Sam got close - he had his pizza dream and was immediately punished with being eaten by vampires and resurrected by Lucifer and all that drama... Sam's work isn't done. Though his growth has taken a huge leap, now he has to figure out what he wants in this NEW setting, and we're only just MEETING Chief Sam in this iteration, so he's got a lot of work to do.

"I gave it a good think and I worked out exactly what I wanted. Everything."

Deanchael definitely is planning for this, so watch out buddy.

SAM DRIVING, MOM IN SHOTGUN

RED ALERT

Uhoh Sam's snapped because of the optimism Mary exudes. Yep, he really was nearly at the last straw in their earlier convo when he scoffed at her attempts to cheer him up.

Look, she's trying to mom you with no experience except adopting Jack. Work with her.

Sam is spiralling with the depression, this time all the bad things that could have happened to Dean and how they're never going to find him, throwing these horrible scenarios at Mary to stop her trying to comfort him.

"I know. I know he's out there, scared and alone." She sees lil 4 year old Dean. Because, I mean, that is the soul Dean bears to her when they have moments sometimes. And her optimism is a wall against thinking of her toddler in this scenario.

"I know. I know he might not come back. Never think I don't know that. But I can't - I have to think about the good, Sam. Because if I don't, I will drown in the bad." I wonder who that directly relates to who is currently driving this car.

I really hope this is a bit of vindication for Mary - or redemption to the eyes of the people who don't like her - that she does care, and she's spelling out her approach to all this. In the start of season 12 when she was trying to keep afloat she used a lot of optimism and furious paddling on the surface, because she has been doing that her whole life. When she was being raised a hunter, when she was a housewife with no clue what she was doing, a mom but he marriage beginning to fall apart... And then thrust into the present day, and it's 360 degrees of combat and loss and sadness and a ill-advised hook up with Ketch... Furious doggy paddling on the surface.

"For Dean's sake, I can't do that. We can't do that." And she shows that she is prioritising Dean, that she's driven and motivated to keep going FOR him.

Come on, give her a chance.

Nyooom.

Meanwhile in the Jack and Bobby truck, Jack is the one angsting and Bobby is the one driving.

Jack is one years old and not legally old enough to drive.

Bobby peptalks him with the reminder that when Jack had his grace he did hero things for these people, which is why he can ride shotgun, and even if he feels useless now, they'll have his back, that he has earned this squad even if he can't be as awesome as he used to.

Maggie is like, I'm getting a reaction shot... Am I going to develop feelings for Jack? That would be super weird, he's one years old. I hope no one is implying this even though I'm in a bunch of scenes getting character focus.

Eeeeeeee Sam trusts Mary with the demon killing knife. I am sure they don't call it Ruby's knife to her and he has never, ever told her about that time that thing happened with Ruby.

This fucker had his back turned for Sam to enter just so he could turn around dramatically. God he's repellent.

An extra was hired to pat Sam down. What a job.

"The shoulders. The hair! You are my Beyonce!" I mean, same. Except. Cas is Agent Beyonce so this fuckhead has totally misread this situation.

This gives Sam a moment to look over at Cas and Cas silently says, yes I know he's a total fuckhead, I've been dealing with this all day. I'm so sorry bro, can you just stab him so we can go home and follow a different lead. I don't even care what this one knows, I can't handle him another minute.

"I'm more embarrassed than I am hurt" I understand this to my core, and I'm so sorry, Cas.

"Kipling. Kip for short."

"Cool. Kip. I'm here." Sam being exactly as "fuck you" as I wanted towards Kip.

Sam is now standing with his head in an El Sol sign. TJW what are you up to bud?

Oh no Jack and Maggie got caught skulking. Sam and Cas have the same "my boy!" reaction when they see Cas.

Maggie is here too, you monsters.

But Kip has missed Mary and AUBobby

"It's just late capitalism, you understand" Yeah, and fuck you Kip.

How is Kip so irritating that he can make tapping a stool somehow the most obnoxious thing a man could do? He's WONDERFULLY well-cast. I love this actor. He's chewing scenery and it's incredible.

"What do you want?" Ow, Sam being twisted into asking the same thing Deanchael asked Kip

"Ass-modeus Kentucky Fried" listen you are still the worst but that drew a sympathetic smile and I hate it and I hate you.

Oh, Sam just Sammed something from that side glance, random demon side-eye. Oooh. Oooooooh.

But yeah, Kip asking for the "Crowley Deal" as if it's a package that can be bought from the Winchesters, and not something that Crowley wormed his way into via much back and forth power plays and drama. The Winchester have always had a back and forth with Hell, and since Crowley there have been a lot of demons, like Bart, trying to figure out what exactly it WAS that they all had. But someone has to be in charge, and the Winchesters are the top dog destined hunters with their fingers in all the world-saving pies, so clashes come naturally. Approaching them like this, first Bart, now this douchenozzle, is meta, presumptuous, overstepping what builds naturally... An attempt to leapfrog to the end where the equilibrium is established.

But Crowley had time to build a long game. These new pretenders are working in a world where the Winchesters' actions have devastated Heaven and Hell alike, and are, like Mary, just trying to keep afloat on the whole thing.

"We never gave Crowley that deal." Because yes, that's how it seemed to play out, and from outsider eyes that's how it may have looked... But each and every interaction came about naturally through the plot, there was no wrangling it. That's just how the Winchesters and Crowley ended up.

And that hole can't be filled by someone just leaping into the chair and asking for it.

Though it is nice if Motown Meats is the new seat of Hell on Earth instead of the outdated exterior asylum interior castle dungeon look Crowley set up.

"You're no Crowley. I know that. So do they." I think that was what Sam Sammed out of the demons, and also true, and ALSO is this the boyking accidentally exerting himself, knowing what's good for Hell? I always get a lil tingle in my thumbs when Sam gets too involved in knowing what's up with Hell.

Holy shit Kipling was a Mongolian warlord who rode with Genghis Khan in life. PLEASE survive this episode, I want to hate you all season. PLEAAAASE I BEG YOU.

Oh my god this insecure whinging asshole, chowing down on the scenery like there's no tomorrow. "I'D EAT YOUR HEART" *turns to weepy and quiet* "before I show you who I really am..."

This is Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending levels of scenery eating. He's gonna pick up a barstool and take a bite out of it now.

Sam is doing this all unarmed, which is something to remember, because this is the fucker who talked his way into killing the Alpha Vamp while MOSTLY unarmed for a majority of that chat.

Sam Fucking Winchester.

AUBOBBY AND RUFUS!!!!

Also mary.

But AUBobby gets a slow mo for Rufus shooting demons.

HOLY SHIT MARY'S SLOW MO

I am pregnant

MARY THROWING SAM THE KNIFE

TJW was like this fight is too fast, my guy. We need to slow it down. You're so good at your job no one's gonna see what happened unless we go slow mo.

he and the fight guy high five

"Aw, balls."

Hey, Nougat tried. He's got a squishy hero centre.

Looks like he weighs nothing and now he's human he goes down in one punch. Owie.

"Here take this. You know how to use it?" "Uh! Stab them with the pointy end!?" "pretty much"

Maggie you precious girl why are you HERE. Why is Soups On or Gnarly Gun Guy not here?

Cas you fucking damsel in distress

Fight guy is like "uuuuh do I have to"

Misha is like "I'm good here, tbh"

SAM FUCKING WINCHESTER

(Aw, Kip's dead, he was fun)

"ENOUGH"

YES SIR

"There will be NO NEW KING OF HELL"

You are gonna get demon minions like fucking ducklings you ass

"Not ever. And if anyone wants the job, you can come through me" Sam is technically immortal so long as Rowena is alive and vice versa you know. Also, how long is he planning on defending Hell? Ever?

I'm stalling from how much I have to scream about how badass Sam was throwing down that declaration that he's now essentially the trial a pretender to the throne has to pass to take the job.

Because if I was a demon... FUCK NO would I want to tangle with this fucker.

Sam's file, updated: Current King Of Hell. Will Kill You. AVOID.

Sam is fucking terrifying. I love it. He scared demons out of their meatsuits. Sam walking into a room is now a reason to eject and abort mission. God. This guy.

Remember in season 1 when demons were scary? Oo er this isn't our sort of thing... halp.

Now Sam looks them in the eye and is like, fuck off. I'm scarier than any of you.

"That's what I thought"

Cas is literally giving you the reverse look of in 4x16 when you marched in and fried Alastair's brain.

SAM GOT A NEW SHIRT thank god.

I should amend: he did all this wearing blue plaid with orange stripes.

Sam Fucking Winchester.

The BMoL definitely didn't have the right birth certificate because that's his legal middle name.

Sam n Caaaaas my GUYS. I hope this is the 10x01 convo but, like, not. Flip flip flip those pancakes, Dabb my guy.

Cas, hon, you're still so beat up you have blood trails coming out of your nose. There's not really caring about your meatsuit because it heals eventually, but there's also washing your fucking face, because Sam's had time to change his shirt and get a beer so what were you doing?

Probably staring at a picture of Dean on his phone and sighing.

Anyway he's here to ask how Sam is, rather than care about himself. Symbolism.

"I've been better. And worse." Worse is 10x01.

Or 4x10's flashbacks. For sure those are the worstest.

Though, this time you are the king of hell and you're wearing a dark shirt and I don't think you have thought this through.

The most well-meaning accidental king of hell ever.

Sam and Cas share the "to find Dean I'd do anything" look. Be CAREFUL. Cas is literally choosing to wear hubris on his face because he feels bad about his fuck up with going to Kip.

Mary! Casual Mary chilling in the kitchen!!

Although, with everyone in the bunker, these rooms are taking on different meanings. The people are chasing out the heavy shadows and ghosts of all the oppressive silences Sam and Dean have filled these corners with.

Aw it's Mary and AUBobby. I was half-hoping we'd have her giving beer to Jack, but I guess we need to set up the forward momentum on their relationship for this season.

"Not bad today, old man." "you too, Sunshine."

You do realise that Mary is sitting in the exact same spot as where Dean was when he called Cas "Sunshine" You do know that right I mean you KNOW? This is TJW, he knows. He's a Destiel Shipper of the highest order.

Cas pops in on Jack, staring at his busted up face in a mirror, now filling more Winchester angst tropes to make up for lost time. "I'm fine," he says without being asked. Because 10x01 or 10x02 was where Cas defined "fine" for Hannah and explained to her it's what humans say when things are really not fine but they can't admit it.

"You did well." "All I did was get punched. In the face."

I love snarky teen Jack.

"To be fair, we all got punched in the face," Cas says, still covered in hubris.

He has a POINT. He has full right to pull the "I should feel more useless than you" card on Jack.

Jack doing the "i'm useless" thing that Cas had to go through when he lost his grace, and Jack was allowed to stay in the Bunker. Is this how Cas would have felt had he not been kicked out?

Jack says Michael's out there and he still feels responsible to stop him. There's a very, very very very ver very weird Hamlet vibe from Jack, being forced into a position of emotional responsibility to kill his uncle, but Cas is his once dead now back and not a ghost father, and Jack couldn't kill Michael and so Dean got possessed... I mean, it's not a neat overlay, but Jack wants to kill an uncle, an AUncle, and I feel like in terms of uncle-killing narratives, AU Michael making off with Dean fits about as well to Hamlet's uncle marrying his mom as we're gonna get... I'd love to see how this shapes out because these family narratives since season 11 are becoming deeply shakespearean in the amount of nonsense going on. This sort of supernatural drama is a modern world way to have this kind of heightened emotion and the stakes you find in Shakespearean tragedies, and to force the sorts of reflection on the world and self... I really really dig it. Watching season 13 yesterday really hit me with this feeling all over and I'm delighted that Jack has this arc because I'm so amused/interested to see where this weirdo Hamlet parallel goes for him.

"I don't have anything." "Oh Jack" thanks Cas that's what I said out loud "you have me. You have all of us. You have your family." *SHOULDER GRASP*

No hug. Fuck off Cas, with your reassuring shoulder grasps. I know that's the language you've been taught but Dabb era is hug era and you suck.

I love that with all of Sam and Mary's doubt and Jack's lack of self worth, it's down to CAS. CASTIEL. CASTIEL WINCHESTER. CASTIEL FUCKING WINCHESTER. PARTY!CAS. to give the actual pep talk of the episode which has ANY conviction behind it. Cas has been fuelled with something MAGNIFICENT since the Empty, and he's turned it up to 11 for Jack here :')

Jack makes the smallest smile, then turns back to his mirror.

Sam opening the door to his bedroom, framed in darkness. 10x01 parallels again - this shot as well as the demon dean one were repeated a few times through the 3 episode arc, and the demon dean one became iconic but Sam did it too, to Dean's room. Now he goes into his own... empties his pockets... he still has the fucking engraved money clip from Tall Tales because Gabriel is not only not dead but telling this entire story for us... He has the phone, that's off, because Dean is not there, not communicating with him, blah blah. And he has the keys to the Impala. Because he's the chief.

Well, the King of Hell. Damn, it took 14 years to get him there. Azazel is fucking spinning in his grave.

Ooh, phonecall! Is it Deanchael? "What do you want?"

Nope, it's Sister Jo! :D She's been standing there ALL NIGHT weighing her options and working out what she wants.

SPIN THAT CHAOS, DEANCHAEL.

Deanchael approaches a vampire, and it's that purity of Purgatory, that just wanna eat that fuelled so much of the badass stuff in season 7 with the Leviathan, everything Dean's struggled with when it comes to the black and white world of killing monsters no problem that dates back to Gordon in 2x03, that draws Deanchael to them. Because this is Dean's safe space with Benny, a real relationship based on a bond forged in pure, kill or be killed, eat or be eaten purgatory. Deanchael has the same inner machinery as Dean, because Michael is the worst version of Dean, engineered to be Dean but without love. Dean as a monster. And so it all leads here... D:

Well this will be fun :D

#14x01 #season 14 spoilers #my stuff #dabb vs cars #HECK

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abarahman-richard-chignell · 5 years

Text

The Start is Always Difficult

It is always a little difficult to think of how to start anything and somewhat nerve-wracking putting yourself out there.

As a Muslim, we know that all good things start with Bismillah.

So, Bismillah.

Now I have the perfect start but then I immediately run into trouble knowing how to kick this new project off!

After all it is has been a long time since I used to write a fairly popular niche blog about trading. It had a decent readership mainly because of the series I conducted called the 'Pro's Process' which interviewed professional traders and investors from all different styles (33 to be exact). I have kept that available for free on Tumblr and you can find a link near the bottom of the page at richardchignell.tumblr.com. I still think it is a good resource and it is free despite others selling 'courses' with similar material - but those making money out of wannabe traders who can't trade their own way out of a wet paper bag is a topic for another day!

With my old Embrace The Trend blog I accidentally at first, and then as a kind of act of rebellion, had a policy that limited my readership. I didn't give 'hot tips' on stocks or make 'market calls' as to the direction of corn futures. Instead, I focussed on the part that makes or breaks traders and investors. The luminaries before me have often said that psychology is anywhere from 80% to 90% of what makes a successful trader. However, if you want readership of a finance blog then you definitely don't want to do as I did and actually point people to the area they will reap the most rewards. You do want to create a lot of hoopla about where things are going and how you made 1000's of percent with never an equity drawdown in sight. (My own edge in the markets is heavily due to my work in the area of psychology and thanks in a no small part to the wonderful mentors I have had along the way. Perhaps if people are interested I can go into my process for communicating with world-class mentors).

However, I seem to have digressed, but at least I have started. As I said it is always hard to start, so the fact that I have means I am beyond the first hurdle. After all, it is all about putting one foot in front of the other.

The main question at hand, is really, why am I writing again?

As I was just about to commence I found these Grammarly lines in their marketing emails that I thought were rather apt:

"Writing opens a line of communication between you and other people. And when you commit to improving your writing, you open yourself up to better conversations, remarkable accomplishments, and healthier relationships."

I'll certainly take that if it is the outcome of my writing to you.

However, actually I am writing for you first and me second. .......It turns out that a lot of people have been asking me to begin writing again. People ask me to talk to them and share about the same topics (being a revert to Islam, investing, start-ups, business, conventional vs Islamic economy, my perspective on the ummah as a revert, strangely for advice as if I am a Sheikh *I most definitely am not*, etc, etc). This happens so much that it has got to the point that doing so in one central place may serve people better (as there are only so many people I can talk to personally). This is also why I am playing around with a kind of spoken blog format. If we can't sit for coffee together, at least perhaps you can hear me. Plus I know how few like to read anymore! Yes, colleagues, I am referring to you!!

Also after my adventures, in the SE Asian start-up space, many perhaps also wonder if I dropped off the face of the earth, and I plan to use this blog to keep people a little up-to-date as to what I am currently working on.

So this is going to be inshaAllah a personal blog where I riff on topics that interest me and try to help others through sharing lessons I have learned as I approach my 40th year.

For those who don't know me at all and are reading this perhaps for the first time, let me give you a very rapid-fire introduction as to why I have a unique perspective perhaps on certain matters.

.....But first, let me tackle the inshaAllah above! Look this is going to be difficult to pitch correctly to all the potential people reading this. Writing as a Muslim I feel obliged to use all the terms such as inshaAllah (as God very clearly tells us in the Qu'ran that he controls the future, not us, and that we must thus say inshaAllah - if God wills it') but then it also makes for very clunky reading for those who are not Muslim or new to the faith. So for the hardliners out there, not that your judgement is relevant, every time you see me not using a term, think well of your Brother, because the chances are I certainly thought it and that I deliberately chose to omit it for the benefit of the nice people reading this. In contrast, my non-Muslim readers please bear with me as you come across unusual terms peppered through the writing (you've already had Bismillah - in the name of God - and inshaAllah - if God wills it) you are about to find out that us Muslims are a funny bunch and we like to remember God as often as possible, hence the terms. Don't you worry no harm will come of it and you will adjust to reading the odd term here and there as if it is commonplace, inshaAllah ;-))

.......Now, where was I? Unique perspective and all that.....

I'm currently approaching my fortieth year in this life and I reverted to Islam just shy of 3 years ago, Alhamdullilah (All Praise is due to God). I did this after a great deal of study and research, without really meeting any Muslims. I, of course, had met Muslims in my heart, those beautiful characters in the Quran and the Seerah (the life of Prophet Muhammad pbuh), and some of the great men of history as I am a voracious reader. But my acceptance of Islam was in no way from personal interaction with current Muslims. I share this as this is one of the reasons for the unique perspective. The Muslims we meet as newcomers to the religion, I have found this to be almost an absolute truth polling other reverts, basically, break our hearts! However, I have been blessed by God all my life by having a knack for finding excellent people to learn from.

Prior to Islam, after University I worked in a bank selling mortgages, went on to a graduate management business program, becoming a financial services headhunter, opening my own firm in Switzerland / Germany - losing my firm in the 2008 crisis, becoming a self-taught prop trader (specialising in commodity futures, spreads, and some options) and doing some random consulting along the way in everything from corporate structuring to alternative agriculture.

As the Muslims reading this will realise the last phase of my life as a trader basically meant that I specialised, and I was really good, in the haram (the forbidden). Interest (Riba) and derivatives in Islam are forbidden and that was my game!

......I am not a Brother that does things by half! The moment I said my Shahada (all that is required to become a Muslim) I stopped futures trading and faced a very uncertain future. Not only does a revert often lose family and friends (and if they don't certainly have major hurdles coming their way) but this revert had to work out how to make a living again!

When I decided to reinvent myself I quickly immersed myself in the Islamic Finance world, moved to Malaysia, consulted in the start-up space, and have been working towards bringing to life a number of exciting things that are Halal (pure) and I see as being much needed in this world: they range from Shariah-compliant Asset Management - to a Think Tank - to a new way of doing an old style of Philanthropy (waqf) - to real economy infrastructure work like building roads in the Philippines!!

......Even over this short 3-year journey, I have met such a variety of Muslim. They have been so diverse that a baby Muslim just having taken his shahada could never have imagined: I've met the least bending of Salafi, to the Sufi, to the 'claim to be Muslim but follow some really weird stuff Muslim', to the beer drinking for Iftar Muslim, the all too present Friday Muslim, a whole lot of "I don't really get what a wonderful Blessing it is to be a Muslim", to thankfully the majority of 'trying my best to make it in this wold Muslim', to the inspirationally humble pious Brothers and Sisters who are drawn to the masjid and charity Muslim and everything in between and from every colour and nation to boot. SubhanAllah (Glorified is Allah) the Ummah is diverse!!

The great blessing in this is the Muslims that stood out like shining gold and were there and many still are there for me in my development as a Muslim. Who I am blessed to have, for periods, travelling this journey with me. I realise that not many of my revert Brothers and Sisters have been quite so lucky to have Mufti's, Sheikhs, honest pious businessmen that they can ask any question to and receive legit answers. I also realise it is such a minefield out there with internet Sheikhs and community voices that really often do more harm than good and thank Allah swt for making my life filled with those who have actually studied this beautiful tradition and making them available to me to ask the many questions that arise.

.......It is my hope to address some of the challenges I faced, how I went about them, the advice I received or knowledge I acquired, as well as tackling some of the consistent ones other reverts face along the way - and I pray that it is of some benefit to even one of you. Please note that I throw in a very strong disclaimer that this is from my perspective, I am not a Sheikh, I am just a slave like everyone else, All Good that I say comes from Allah swt, and I ask forgiveness for anything that is misguided.

Oh and you never know since I have found that many born Muslims have a sort of rediscovery/reversion process, I hope that you'll benefit and enjoy what I share. Also please forgive me for any things that hit a sore spot when referring to this journey - it is inevitable I am afraid.

Let us remember that all Muslims are the descendants of reverts who had the truest of blessings to be in the company of Prophet Muhammad pbuh.

Oh, and this isn't going to be all Islam so don't freak out when I write seemingly unrelated things about Olympic weightlifting, business, investment performance, start-ups, surfing, books I enjoy, my love for Morocco, and other eclectic things.... since it's my blog I guess I don't really have to take permission!

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chipsandwaffles · 7 years

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Best Friend?

Yuta fucking likes you.

Anon said: Could you write a imagine about a "bad boy" yuta realising he is in love with his sweet and shy best friend as they enter their final years of high school or just in college in general? I hope that's not too cliche. I'm sorry if it is!!

Anon said: Can I get Yuta fluff? I noticed no one is requested for him >< poor my bb! Yuta and the girl always fight and annoyed each other a lot but they began to love each other and felt empty without one of them. So in the end he confessed to her. Thx you ❤

hOPEFULLY this satisfies both these requests. this is 3k i can’t believe this it’s ridiculous. also. these are legit some of the oldest requests in my inbox like bless they’re finally out of here. i hope you enjoy ^^

For some reason, your best friend, your best friend who has called you unpretty and too lame to look at will not stop looking at you.

You’ll be looking around the cafeteria, minding your own business with your group of friends when you see him just staring at you, his head in his hand with a dumb smile on his face. Sometimes you’ll be hanging outside by yourself and he’s looking at you from the soccer field. One time he got hit with a soccer ball. That was funny as hell. Other times you’ll pass him when he’s sitting at his locker and talk for a quick second, about what you’d do after school and what not together and he wouldn’t look away from you when he used to do it all the time.

You don’t even see each other at school often, hanging out with your own group of friends. You hang with “nerds” as Yuta calls them and he hangs out with his own group of people, his “rebel” group as he likes to say or the skip class twice a week kids as everyone knows.

And yet, somehow he keeps finding you and keeps looking at you. You swear this never happened before.

Or, maybe you weren’t paying attention. Maybe he had been staring at you all along. You wonder why though, since he has openly called you unpretty. He makes fun of you, you make fun of him. That was your dynamic as best friends. It had been like that since you were kids.

Now he was kind of different. Staring at you, buying you food as you walked home from school, waking up to good morning texts from him.

Who was this guy, and what did he do with your best friend?

“Y/N, are you even listening?” You blink a few times and lift your head from where it was laying on your arm on the table, staring back at Yuta. He frowns at you, rolling his eyes.

“That’s definitely a no,” he says.

“Sorry I was… thinking about other stuff. What were you saying?” You ask. He shakes his head and goes back to doodling on the notebook you’ve provided him as you study for your finals. He wasn’t going to study of course. He was too cool for that.

“I was studying for my calculus final, you expect me to listen to whatever crap you have to say about Taeyong today?”

Yuta scoffs at you and reaches across the table, pinching one of your cheeks and shaking your head a little. You whine, swatting his hand away and rubbing the place he had pinched.

“It wasn’t about Taeyong, you punk.”

“Oh, sorry, Jaehyun then.”

“You’re a brat,” he says, sitting back and crossing his arms.

“And yet you’re the one who’s been my best friend for like… eleven years.”

“Thirteen years. You can’t even remember how long we’ve been friends?” Yuta actually looks offended, and you laugh at his expression. He needed to stop it with this weird stuff. He had to go back to cocky Yuta and the mean guy you knew.

“Honestly I was hoping it would end already.”

“I hate you.”

“Hate you too, best friend,” you say, laughing when Yuta gets up, knocking his chair over in the process. You watch him walk over to the couch in the living room, plopping down and turning on the T.V. You go back to studying, or, pretending to study.

Your thoughts were back on Yuta and his attitude recently. Certain thoughts crossed your mind, wondering what could have caused it. Maybe he was thinking about finals and graduating this year, or maybe he was thinking about what school to go to next year, or maybe he was stressed about something and couldn’t find the words to tell you about it. Which in turn made him constantly look your way.

But, one of the things that keeps coming back to you is that Yuta likes you, and not as a best friend. When Yuta liked someone, he would buy them things, shower them in affection and candy, because according to Yuta “that’s what girls liked.” And, that’s what he had done with you. He had been showering you with affection lately, wrapping his arm around your waist as you walked together, kissing the side of your head randomly when he was saying goodbye. He’d buy you food and candy on the way home, and he’d be nice enough to send you good morning texts. He never did that before.

You stare down at the textbook in front of you for a long moment, trying to wrap your head around that your best friend of thirteen years might like you more than a best friend. You look up at Yuta, only to see him looking at you. When you make eye contact he immediately looks away, pretending he wasn’t just staring at you.

The thought clicks in your head and holy fuck.

Yuta totally liked you.

“You think Yuta likes you?” You nod your head at your friend, the one you went to when you couldn’t go to Yuta. She frowns at you, shaking her head.

“No way. He was going after like, three other girls last week. He doesn’t like you.”

“Then explain all that stuff-

“He’s… an idiot? I don’t know. I mean- if he liked you, wouldn’t he say something by now?” She asks.

“Would he? Remember that time he was mad at me for eating the snack in his backpack and wouldn’t talk to me for almost two weeks?”

You friend’s expression changes into one of judgement just thinking about the incident before she rolls her eyes. “He totally likes you. That idiot likes you.”

“Come on, he’s not that stupid-

“Don’t even get me started,” your friend interrupts. “How do you feel though? Do you like him?”

“You know the answer to that,” you say, your face heating up in embarrassment just thinking about your feelings for Yuta.

“I know. I just like reminding you that you’re in love with an idiot.” It’s your turn to roll your eyes at her and she laughs at you, clearly finding the situation hilarious.

“Shut up, oh my god. You’re the one that’s got a crush on Doyoung-

“He’s cute and funny-

“He’s in love with school which means he’s not going to date you-

“Excuse me!” You and your friend look over to the librarian who doesn’t look pleased at all at your behavior in the library. She makes a motion of zipping her lips and you both apologize, lowering your voices as to not bother her again.

“First of all, Doyoung is totally going to date me, second of all, you should talk to Yuta,” your friend tells you. You shake your head.

“No way. I have finals to worry about. I don’t want to stress over Yuta.”

“Then… after finals?” Your friend grins at you, and you agree to it just to get her to shut up.

“Yeah, fine. After finals.”

For the two weeks before finals and during finals, you avoid Yuta. Not because you want to avoid him, but just so you don’t get distracted by thinking about his feelings for you. You really needed to get good final grades in your classes, and having him around just wasn’t going to help with that. Instead, you spend a lot of your time hanging around Doyoung, because Doyoung keeps quiet while he’s studying and you study well together.

And, according to your friend it benefits her because then she can figure out how to win Doyoung’s heart. Which, makes you laugh because after asking Doyoung once about it the feeling is mutual, he’s just waiting until graduation to say anything.

You don’t tell your friend that though. She could suffer a little not knowing that Doyoung liked her back.

“Y/N.” You look up from your notebook at Doyoung, an expression of distaste written all over his face.

“Huh? What’s wrong? Am I shaking the table again? Sorry, I didn’t-

“No. It’s…” Doyoung gestures for you to lean closer across the table, and you do, giving him your ear as he whispers to you. “Yuta is glaring at us from the other table- don’t look!”

You sit back in your chair and stare at Doyoung, frowning.

“Why is he in the library? He hates coming into the library.” You’re asking it more to yourself than to Doyoung, but he answers it anyways.

“Why would I know? I don’t keep track of Yuta.”

“That was rhetorical-

“Oh my god, he’s making that motion of cutting my throat. What is his problem?” You can’t just not look at Yuta now, so you turn in your seat and find him, his face falling when he sees you looking at him. With him is Jaehyun and Taeyong, and they both laugh at him when he stands up and rushes out of the library.

“What the heck?”

“I can’t believe he’s your best friend,” you hear Doyoung say. You turn back to him, confused more than ever.

“He’s been acting so fricking weird lately.”

“Yeah, go on,” Doyoung says.

“Oh my god, he’s been giving me lots of affection lately and buying me things and-

Doyoung puts up a hand to stop your talking, shaking his head. “Y/N, I was being sarcastic. I don’t want to hear about your problems with Yuta. I want to continue studying.”

“…I can see why she likes you,” you mumble. Doyoung’s face lights up in shyness, a blush dusting his cheeks. It’s gross that just one mention of your friend gets him to be that happy.

For a short moment, you wonder if that happens to Yuta when someone mentions you.

You hope it does.

When you get to your locker at the end of the school day, ready to pull out your books that you need for studying, you notice Yuta standing right next to it. He doesn’t look very happy, and you hurry over to him, wondering what has made him upset. Your best friend couldn’t be unhappy. That wasn’t okay.

“Hey, are you okay?” You ask when you’re close enough to grab at him in some way. Your hand latches onto his and squeezes it to get his attention. He looks at you, only for a second before he’s pulling you into a tight hug, nearly lifting you off your feet.

You’re not sure what to do, because Yuta didn’t really do this kind of stuff, especially not in school of all places. You just let him hold you, your arms eventually coming to wrap around him as well, moving your hand up and down to comfort him.

If your best friend needed you, he was going to have you.

Sooner or later, Yuta lets you grab your things from your locker and then you’re heading out of school, his hand in yours, and walking a little too close for friends to be doing. You don’t mind, really, you just want to know what’s made him upset.

As you walk, you hope maybe he’ll tell you. And if not, at least he’ll do it when you get to your house. You glance at him from time to time, seeing if maybe he was crying or still looking unhappy, but he looks more content than anything. You’re glad. That was far better than unhappy Yuta.

You don’t force him for any words though until you’re home, sitting on the couch together, Yuta pressed against your side and his hand still in yours as you watch a movie together. Studying could wait.

“Yuta?” You speak up.

“Hm?”

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask.

He shakes his head and presses a kiss to the side of your head.

“After finals. I’ll tell you then.”

You don’t say anything more, nodding your head and focusing back on the movie.

You couldn’t wait for finals to come and go fast enough.

You take a step out of your last class of the day, breathing a well needed sigh of relief because finals were over. You were done. You had finished your other five exams throughout the week, waiting for today to finally come. Today, you were done. You were confident that you passed all your exams and had good final grades, and now, heading down the hall to your locker, you were confident in what was going to happen with your best friend.

You were going to confront him on how he felt, and he was going to tell you what was up with him last week. It was going to be great. Everything was going to work out for you.

You walk excitedly, nearly beaming when you see Yuta standing at your locker, staring down at his phone, waiting for you.

“Yuta!” He looks up from his phone when he hears you and smiles that beautiful, signature healing smile that always made you light up. You smiled back as you finally came to stand in front of him, bouncing around a little in excitement.

“Finished my finals. Do you think you did well?” You ask him. He shrugs and that smile he had is already gone, turned into a similar look he had the week before. You frown in turn, tugging at the sleeve of his shirt.

“Yuta? What’s wrong?” He lets out a sigh.

“We need to talk.”

“This is about last week, right? Okay, go ahead then. I’m listening.”

Yuta looks around for a moment, probably checking if anyone was listening in on your conversation before he’s grabbing your hand, dragging you off into one of the secluded corners of the school. You let him drag you, seeing as this was clearly important to him. You weren’t going to question it for now.

When Yuta stops, he turns to you, letting out a heavy breath.

“I think we should stop being best friends.”

“Huh?”

You take back not questioning Yuta. He didn’t want to be best friends anymore? After thirteen years together? What caused that? Was it something you did?

No, it wasn’t you. Usually Yuta did something. What did he do then?

“I know you heard me, Y/N. I can’t be best friends with you anymore,” he says.

“Why not?”

“Because I…” Yuta pauses, taking one of your hands into his. “I like you more than a friend. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you but… I already know you don’t feel the same way and I don’t know if I can continue on with being just your friend.”

You squint at Yuta in confusion, tilting your head slightly. He was in love with you, that was confirmed. That was fine. But, he thought you didn’t feel the same way? You’re confused on what gave him that impression. And why wouldn’t he just ask you how you felt?

“What do you mean I don’t feel the same way? Shouldn’t you ask me-

“I already know you and Doyoung are dating. Thanks for telling me, by the way, not like best friends are supposed to tell-

“Okay, Yuta. First of all, stop talking.” You put a finger to Yuta’s mouth, effectively shutting him up while you start laughing.

He thought you and Doyoung were dating? Seriously? Your best friend really was an idiot!

“Why are you laughing?” He asks, pulling away and crossing his arms in clear annoyance. You wanted to stop, but, how could you? You were never exactly obvious with your interest in Yuta, but, you’re pretty sure you showed even less interest in Doyoung.

Besides, you already were set on liking your friend and Doyoung together anyways. So, liking Doyoung was never going to happen.

“Doyoung and I aren’t dating! Where did you get that idea?” You ask, laughter still spilling out of you.

“You- you’ve been so close lately and weren’t hanging out with me I thought-

“We were studying! You’re the worst to study with, Yuta. Doyoung is like, studying with a clone of myself. You’re just distracting when I’m studying so that’s why I wasn’t really hanging out with you. Not because I was dating Doyoung.”

“Okay, maybe I should’ve asked about it-

“You think?” You laugh at Yuta again and he shoves at your shoulder, now pouting.

“I hate you,” he says. You shove back at him.

“Um, no. Pretty sure just a minute ago you said you were in love with me so…”

Yuta goes silent, and you notice the faintest blush on his cheeks. It was adorable. All you could think about was wanting to kiss him, but, you still had to get your own feelings out.

“Hey, stupid,” you say, hitting Yuta again. “If you’re going to stop being my best friend, can you start being my boyfriend then?”

Yuta looks at you, surprise written all over his face before he breaks out into a smile.

“You- you like me?”

You nod your head, smiling yourself. “I think that’s why I want you to be my boyfriend. You know, because I like you.”

“You like me. Not Doyoung?” You nod again, grabbing at Yuta’s hand and swinging it back and forth.

“Yes, Yuta. I like you. Youuuu. Nakamoto Yuta.”

Yuta can’t stop smiling the entire time that you walk to your locker, take out everything you have to and then walk home. He won’t let go of your hand, he buys you something to eat on the way home, and then, when you’re at your front door, he kisses you.

It’s so unexpected that you push him away, and even then he still doesn’t stop smiling.

It makes you think of Doyoung in the library, and how when he heard about your friend liking him, he was smiling. Yuta was smiling so big because of you, because he was happy you liked him back and that now you were going to be together.

Yuta being happy because of you makes you smile and you ultimately give him a kiss on the cheek before he leaves. You wave him goodbye and as you watch his figure retreat into the distance, you can’t help but hope you and him were going to be happy together for a long time.

#nct imagines #nct scenarios #nakamoto yuta imagines #nakamoto yuta scenarios #yuta scenarios #yuta imagines #Sheep Writes

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niomora · 4 years

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Hhhh how do I like, like myself?

Legit don't know what it feels like and I'm not sure I ever have

All I do is view myself like a victim and I never get my shit together or do anything, I'm starting to think I'm incapable

I didn't fully realise how happy I was last year until September hit and I've felt like pure shite ever since and idk how to end it?

Like I got rlly depressed when I was 14/15 and it literally just went away itself, well it came back in like a year but yknow

Hopefully when I'm out of lockdown I can see a therapist or try some meds or something, like I just wanna enjoy life and enjoy being me but it's hard when I'm the literal opposite of who I want to be, not that I fully know who I am

I have a very warped sense of self and its rlly annoying because I genuinely don't know what kind of person I am apart from sensitive, scared shitless, insecure and a doormat, like I don't rlly see much else? Am I funny? Good to be around? Annoying? Probably annoying lmaoo

Idk at this point like I'm not even sad I'm just kinda numb and it just feels so easy to accept that I'm never gonna like myself and that's just it

I think I'm just stuck in this 'poor me' act and it's really pissing me off, like I want to feel strong, I want to feel empowered, but when I do something gutsy like when I told those guys to piss off, I then get threatened, I get followed, I immediately cry and run away and now I don't like walking in the dark anymore.

It's just really hard to see myself as strong, or brave when I'm so riddled with anxiety, and not to mention the fact that in my head I tend to make I guess like a hierarchy of the people around me? Like everyone around me is strong, they know what they want, they know how they feel and they aren't scared to express it (which I know that may not be the case, everyone has their own insecurities, but this is how they appear in my fucked up brain) I can't explain it better than they're a higher-up human?? And it's not just a 'omg everyone's better than me' it's like, idk how to explain it and I don't think anyone ever understands what I mean but I feel less than human, like there's a base level, and I'm like nowhere near that, I don't feel experienced enough in being a person, i can't form my own opinions because if mine differ from everyone else's (this isn't all the time but most the time) then they're probably right, right? Because they're human, and I'm not there yet, I'm arguing with someone and they say I'm wrong, well I am aren't I? They're human, and I'm not there yet so they must be right, this isn't applied to every situation but it is to most, I feel less than a person and I don't know how to stop thinking like that, it's hard to convince yourself you're a brave and strong person when you don't even feel like a person at all

That and I hate how much of a kick I get out of drama, I hate how much I love to bitch and tear people down only because I don't feel human, I drag them down because hey, at least I'm not like them, no I'm not, but I am spineless enough to drag people down to my level instead of trying to raise myself up, and it's pathetic! BEYOND pathetic, I shouldn't have to rip people to pieces to feel whole, I shouldn't have to be such a cowardly fucking bitch to distract myself from my own self hate, and I shouldn't have to enjoy it so much

I want to be honest

I want to be kind

I want to be able to put my foot down when someone mistreats me or the people I love

I want to do what I want to do without fear of judgement

I want to stop being a peacekeeper just because I can't stand being caught in conflict that I'm not even necessarily a part of

I want to shove my hands inside my brain, rip out my insecurities and fucking set them on fire

I want to get angry

I want to scream

I want to punch shit

I want to be able to fucking live my fucking life

I want to be a fucking human

I don't know what the point of this is, I never post on Tumblr, but I guess I just need to get this all off my chest? And it felt kinda good to

Anyway sorry if anyone read this lol

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atopearth · 4 years

Text

Tales of Crestoria Part 1 - Transgressors and Vision Orbs (Ch 1-2)

I haven't played a Tales game in soo long! I'm super hyped for this though, because seeing Luke and others in one game is so nice! Anyway, since it's a gacha mobile game, my bro and I legit rerolled for like a day to get 4 SSRs lmao. I also helped reroll for my other bro so that took agess loll. I ended up getting Kanata, Luke, Lloyd and Leon! Pretty okay hahaa. Time for the story! Honestly, when the villagers were accusing Nash for being the guy who pushed the old lady that ended up dying, I thought Nash was some troublemaker adult, but no, he's a kid loll! Like, uhh, just because he causes trouble every now and then doesn't mean he would do such a thing to an old lady, like what evidence do these crazy villagers have??? Lmao at Misella pretending to be weak so that Kanata will protect her. Aww, it's so cool how Milla and Velvet help you out! That's fun! I guess the game kinda integrates the other Tales game characters into the story minus the idea that they come from another world and instead kinda put them inside the story itself as if they all belong in this world? The idea of the enforcers is such a scary concept. The fact that all you need is lots of people to condemn someone and you could be "punished" to death is pretty nuts. Not to mention that most of these people that condemn others just see one-sided “evidence” through vision orbs (recordings) and then when enough people think you’re evil, enforcers will come and kill you? Like, what if they're innocent or something? No wonder why people call this Tales of Cancel Culture hahahha.

Awww, the CG of Kanata and Misella around flowers was so pretty! Loved it! Well, I knew Kanata's father was dodgy, but I actually find it funny he thinks that Kanata should understand and follow as his successor of human slave and organ trading lol. Like, um, do you never see your son? He's like the personification of naivety and justice, yeah right he would succeed your human trafficking business. It's not like he just sells them either, he sells all these orphan children's body parts and organs! Ridiculous that he thinks Kanata would be like sure, of course, please continue. I'm more surprised that Kanata rashly decided to kill his father like that though. Like, he just found out the truth and killed him! Not saying he didn't deserve it, but considering he admired his father for his whole life, I'm surprised he held no thoughts and feelings towards wanting him to be condemned instead of killing him like that. I guess he felt that he needed to in order to save Misella? Still rash though. Omg, Misella is even more rash and crazy, didn't think she'd burn down the whole shelter just to save Kanata who was being imprisoned by the conspirators of his dad who didn't want him going around telling people. Like, yes, she brought most people out but what if she missed someone or they got injured?? Anyway, the enforcers were surprisingly weak, now I guess if Cress (Kanata's teacher) kills someone, he could probably run too lol. Not gonna lie, all those anime scenes are so cool!! Wow, this game is pretty high quality! Loved it when Kanata got his blood sin (his sword that kinda represents his sin). Vicious is cool though, I love how whatever his attitude is, nice for him to have Kanata as a fellow transgressor friend. Anyway, um, I forgot to say that I'm surprised Misella just ditched Kanata when he told her to run away without him. Like, after all the she can't live without him blah blah and stuff, she just leaves him?? I guess at least she realised and changed her mind to look for him, but she hasn't found him yet so lolll.

It's kinda funny how Vicious is like Kanata's bandit teacher haha. Aegis and Leon seem pretty cool, I can understand them for wanting to catch Vicious and Kanata and how they would prioritise the innocent over capturing them. Anyway, wow, Nash is such a little shit. Honestly an ungrateful kid. I know he's grieving because his little sister died in the fire that everyone thinks Kanata lit when it was actually Misella (so I guess she's a murderer now too huh?), but it's honestly crazy bitter and petty for him to not tell anyone that Kanata killing his father was actually "understandable" because of the monster he was for selling kids and their organs. And like wth man, so Cody (Kanata's father) selling his orphanage friends isn't as bad as Kanata supposedly "killing" his sister? Seriously? Were they even your friends, Nash? You do realise that most if not all your friends that were sold probably died right? It's ridiculous that he wants everyone (enforcers and knights etc) to condemn and kill Kanata now when he never even tried to do that for his monster of a father even though he knew about his wrongdoings all this time. Ridiculous man. And like seriously, he just assumed like all the other villagers that Kanata lit the fire to cover up his murder, he didn't even ask him or anything. He just assumed it and accused him. It's like seriously kid, Kanata defended you in the beginning and believed in you, yet what do you do to repay him? Not even listen to his side of the story when he did that for you! Kids these days!

Wow, like I doubt Vicious could die so easily, but Misella is crazy, she just stabbed him through the heart to "save" Kanata from following down his evil path? Umm, I'm pretty sure you're not any better, Misella. Is there anyone around Kanata that isn't toxic?? Not that Kanata is any better since he's overly righteous in a silly way, but at least he's not crazy? Lol. Vicious is bad, but he never said he was a good person at least. Um, why does Misella think that by saying she manipulated Kanata into killing his father, it would make him not a criminal anymore? I think the fact he listened to some girl and killed his own father is even worse lol. And seriously, Kanata is a transgressor already, I doubt it's something you can revert, especially since he went against enforcers and even got the Stain of Guilt and the blood sin. There's honestly no point of her becoming a transgressor as well. And seriously, these villagers!! Do they believe anything and everything that people say? Use your own judgement seriously! Anyway, I honestly think that it's ironic how Misella wants to protect Kanata but causes so much trouble for him instead, sigh. Well, yep, Nash is pretty nuts to relish the fact that Misella is getting burned to death. Is there anyone in this game that isn't crazy?😔 I guess everything was for Misella to get a blood sin too~ Anyway, I guess now the true adventure begins? I love the ending scene to the first chapter, it really feels like the journey is just starting~

I think it's pretty nice how they addressed the idea of Kanata and them being happy whilst carrying the sins of killing people through Misella thinking that she needed to punish herself eating grass and stuff instead of the meat she likes because she "deserves" that. Obviously they shouldn't be complacent and think it's fine to kill people, but I agree with Vicious, they've already chosen to continue to live despite how painful it may be and despite how much others want them to die, so there isn't any harm in them living "normally" because that's the path they've chosen to follow now. Lmao at Misella being traumatised by Kanata's food though haha. Vicious is so funny and cool, such a silly but fun guy. Reid is a great guy, I love how he thinks that one's own impressions are worth more than what other people think. I think it's important to make your own judgement about what kind of person someone is rather than relying on stuff like rumours and stuff, although it's understandable if you do follow others, since really, they are criminals. Btw, an extra plus is that Reid is voiced by Ishida Akira!! Yes, I love Athrun Zala (Gundam Seed) and Kent (Amnesia:Memories) to name a few hahaha. HAHAHA, I love how Vicious just trashed Misella's hopes that she was special to Kanata when she asked him if he would risk his life like Veigue to get a bloodstone to save her if she was ill like Veigue's friend, and he says of course, and then Vicious asks Kanata the same thing and he says he'll save him too loll. Misella using Vicious as a scapegoat to take all the blame for injuring a kid was lol, but seriously, these adults are so childish and reliant on the vision crystals to solve all their problems. It's like wow, Veigue looks like a mean and bad person so yep it must have been him is just ridiculous, I'm so glad Reid isn't insane like them. At this point, I’m just glad there are sensible people in this story like Reid and Veigue lol.

Overall, my impression for now is pretty positive. The story isn’t great, but I do enjoy the dubiousness of everything including the main characters. The animated scenes are awesome though and the design and everything is so pretty! Aside from the bugs that are rampant (random crashing etc) throughout the game, I’ve still been quite obsessed with it that I’m playing everyday hahaha. Now if only the gleamstone draws could guarantee an SSR instead of an SR lolll. Not that I’m complaining too much I guess since I got all the summer SSRs (because Veigue and Yuri were hot, so I needed them LOL) . The game can get rather grindy though with the different materials you need and how low the drop rates can be, but it’s not too bad to get to level 80 for your characters at least. Just wanted to say, I’m happy to finally have 3-4 level 100s yay! It’s nice to see a turn-based Tales game that still relies on combos to do the best damage haha. Otherwise, if you’re wanting to try this game, this is probably a great time to do it since you get an extra 2500 gleamstones with the 1 million downloads reward right now, so you now have 4 chances to draw SSRs! (One guaranteed SSR draw, one normal gleamstones draw, the SR+ tickets draw and the normal summon tickets draw) Just keep in mind that gacha is gacha and sometimes RNG is just not on your side. For example, my bro used 15k gleamstones and got 0 SSRs, so yes, the game can get painful and depressing, but I’m here for the story so at least I’m all good haha!

#tales of crestoria

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