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chaoswillfallrpg · 3 years

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FENRIR GREYBACK is THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD and a SOLDIER in THE DARK LORD’S ARMY at THE DEATH EATER HEADQUARTERS. He looks remarkably like PETER GADIOT and considers himself aligned with THE DEATH EATERS. He is currently TAKEN.

→ OVERVIEW:

tw: death, murder

CALDER GREYBACK and KESARA GREYBACK were overjoyed when they had their first child, Fenrir. Named after a monstrous giant wolf from Norse mythology, a favourite subject of Calder’s, Fenrir was destined to become the monster he was. Fenrir was raised in a loving home, both parents making time for their child and showering him with affection. They lived in a small cottage in a wizarding village just outside of the Cotswolds. During his early childhood, he was a very timid child, barely speaking to anyone but his parents. Due to his shyness, Calder and Kesara constantly attempted to put Fenrir in social situations that often led to Fenrir being awkward around new people or simply asking to go home early due to his social anxiety. When Fenrir was five years old, his parents gave birth to HELLA GREYBACK, a beautiful baby girl. Fenrir became obsessed with his little sister, rarely leaving her side, even as they grew older together. His parents were surprised at how loving he was towards her and how she caused him to come out of his shell, especially around people who had come to see Hella. Fenrir was extremely protective over her and vowed that he’d rather die than let anything happen to her. The two of them would spend their days running through the fields, splashing in the rivers and talking to other wizarding children, in which Hella took the lead of course. The two siblings were happy with their lives and their parents were elated that the two got along well despite their age difference.

When Fenrir was ten years old, a year before Hogwarts, their family went on a camping trip. It had been a sweltering summer but the campsite was now cool and beautiful as leaves began to turn yellow and orange. Fenrir and Hella would spend their days playing by the lake, Kesara keeping a close eye on them whilst Calder disappeared upstream to go fishing. It was the last day of their holiday when Hella and Fenrir decided to sneak away from their mother and attempt to follow their father upstream. It wasn’t long before the two became bored of tracking their father went off exploring, not taking note of where they were going or how to get back to their parents. A game of king and queen began and before they knew it, the sun was setting and they were lost. Scared, the two decided it was best to find the river and stay put until their father found them. As night stretched on and a full moon shone above them, the shivering siblings took refuge amongst some rocks, trying to keep each other warm. What first started out as distant howls, soon became a low growling noise. Hella and Fenrir hadn’t heard the wolf throughout their trip until that night and tried to make themselves as small as possible. It wasn’t long until the werewolf found them and Hella let out a blood curdling scream as the werewolf leapt at her. Fenrir, being the brother he was, jumped in front of the werewolf right before it could plant it’s jaws on his sister and the werewolf's teeth sank deep into Fenrir’s shoulder. A few moments later and their father appeared, casting curses at the werewolf and chasing it away, saving his children from a gory demise.

Fenrir did not die from the bite to his parents' relief, but to their embarrassment, he had been infected with lycanthropy. His parents decided not to register him and keep it a secret. They did their best to help Fenrir every month, but their best method was to lock Fenrir in the basement with chains. This of course, upset Fenrir, causing him to feel like a wild animal, which he was during a full moon. Fenrir would always wake up with no memory of his transformation or the night before, leaving him to think that it could never have been that bad. A year later and Fenrir’s letter from Hogwarts arrived. He was excited to go and had been looking forward to it since he was eight. His parents however, were reluctant, worried what their son might do during a full moon. As a compromise, Calder and Kesara ordered a large batch of wolfsbane and instructed Fenrir to always find his way to the forbidden forest during a full moon or the consequences would be dire. Due to his parents' fear of his lycanthropy, Fenrir began to fear it himself, thinking that he was cursed. This of course, didn’t help his self esteem and once reaching Hogwarts and being sorted into Slytherin, he was quickly labeled as the weird and awkward kid. The bullying started immediately and Fenrir hated it. DOLORES UMBRIDGE was one of his biggest adversaries, she had managed to discover his wolfsbane stash and outed him as a werewolf to all the students, which only sent him deeper into self hatred. The disrespect and utter discrimination he received due to his lycanthropy was crippling to say the least.

Whilst there were those that stood against him, he had a special select few who told him to stand up for himself. ADARIA LINWOOD would always show him tough love, teaching him to grow a thicker skin. His sister was always there for him at home and even more present when she found her place at Hogwarts as a Ravenclaw. She would always tell him that it wasn’t a curse, it was a blessing. His lycanthropy turned him into someone powerful, a chance for him to break out of his shell forever and become the leader she imagined him to be. With support from his friends and as he grew older he became more confident, more in control and more vicious towards those that stood against him. He began to spend countless hours learning about lycanthropy and how it affected other creatures and how one could infect others, effectively creating their own pack. A pack of other werewolves just like him, others that understood what it was like, others that would always have his back against those like Dolores Umbridge. The appeal of being in a pack didn’t only affect Fenrir, but seemed to persuade another younger student named STEPHEN WILCOX to come to Fenrir, asking if he could be turned, if he could be gifted with lycanthropy. Fenrir’s first reaction was that Stephen was crazy, why would he think it was a gift when it would only make his life harder, but the idea of having his own pack and the determination for revenge against those that shunned him changed his mind. On the next full moon, Fenrir bit Stephen in an attempt to turn him. It was Hella, who had gone off a feeling and had followed the two into the woods, that found Stephen’s dead body with Fenrir nowhere in sight.

The next day Fenrir was expelled from Hogwarts. He was distraught at the fact that he had killed someone and when he looked to his parents for support, they turned him away, telling him that he was no longer part of their family. His parents no longer saw him as an embarrassment, but rather as an endangerment to the rest of the world. Without his consent, they contacted the Ministry and reported him as a werewolf. It was how Hella reacted that really broke him. Hella, the light of his world and his rock had gone dark. She had officially turned her back on him. He was a monster that she could no longer love. At first he was destroyed, torn to shreds, unable to comprehend that his whole world has been unravelled in a matter of days due to a stupid mistake. He spent almost half a year wondering forests and making his way towards London, working on Muggle farms and stealing from campsites. It was during this all time low that rage began to fill him. Nightmares of his sister removing him from family pictures would wake him up in a sweat. If she really thought he was such a monster, he’d become exactly what she thought he was. It was at this murderous phase in his life that he met SELENA PETROSYAN. The two of them instantly clicked and she became his right-hand women as they began to build their own underground pack of werewolves, a pack that would one day rise to power against those that oppressed them. Fenrir began to attempt to turn sorcerers into werewolves, getting close to the families and attempting to turn them on the full moon. It was during this rampage that two Muggle murders, failed turnings, caught the attention of the Ministry and Fenrir was captured and brought in for questioning.

It was during this questioning that Fenrir grasped just how much the Ministry and the wizarding community hated werewolves, LYALL LUPIN stating that all werewolves simply deserved to die. Due to his appearance and lack of wand during the trial, as well as the ill-managed werewolf registry not being updated to include his name, Fenrir was released and instantly sought out revenge. On the next full moon, he attacked the Lupin Family, biting REMUS LUPIN. Now Lyall would realise that werewolves were as equal as everyone else. Deciding that best option was to stay low for a while, he sent his pack underground whilst he spent his time attempting to satisfy his craving for more power. He began to look into dark magic, spells that would allow him to extract and retract his claws at will and potential transformation potions that would allow him to keep his fangs and turn others at any time, not just during a full moon. It was along this dark path that he met The Dark Lord. There was a discussion and a mutual understanding between the two. If Fenrir helped The Dark Lord convince werewolves to join his cause, the Dark Lord would creature a space for werewolves in his new regime. Whilst Fenrir knew that the pureblood would never accept his pack, he planned to go along with it before going rouge after they had won the war. It wasn’t long until he was introduced to BELLATRIX BLACK. Whilst other members of his pack such as Selena continued their mission, Fenrir’s attention was brought to another werewolf by the name of SILAS CRUMP who had begun to stir the wizarding world by being accused of killing the Minister for Magic’s son BOOKER BAGNOLD. With everyone keeping their eyes out for the fugitive Silas, Fenrir felt as if his whole plan was in danger and whilst Bellatrix and RABASTAN LESTRANGE continued to use Silas as a scapegoat, could Fenrir find a way to keep his pack out of the spotlight or would he need to find a way to handle the Silas problem himself?

→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Blood Status → Pure-Blood (Werewolf)

Pronouns → He/Him

Identification → Cis Male

Sexuality → Up to Roleplayer

Relationship Status → Single

Previous Education → Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Slytherin)

Societies → The Greyback Wolves

Family → Calder Greyback (father), Kesara Greyback (mother), Hella Greyback (sister)

Connections → Selena Petrosyan (best friend/potential love interest), Dolores Umbridge (adversary), Adaria Linwood (former friend/adversary), Remus Lupin (victim/adversary), Lyall Lupin (adversary), Silas Crump (adversary), Bellatrix Black (colleague)

Future Information → N/A

FENRIR GREYBACK IS A LEVEL 7 WIZARD/WEREWOLF.

#fenrir greyback #peter gadiot #marauders rpg #marauders rp #harry potter rp #death eater #dark lords army #death eater headquaters #werewolf #tw: death #tw: murder #Taken #taken werewolf #taken wizard #taken death eater

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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Best Horror Movies on Netflix: Scariest Films to Stream

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Editor’s Note: This post is updated monthly. Bookmark this page to see what the best horror movies on Netflix are at your convenience.

Is it Halloween when you’re reading this? If not we’re still close enough with fall here and the month of October almost upon us! It’s the time of year where we like our drinks spiced with pumpkin or apple, our flannel light, and the movies we consume scary. And lucky for you there are more than a handful of worthwhile scary movies on Netflix.

There is nothing quite as fun as embracing the spooky, the creepy, the scary, and things that go bump in the night. Thankfully we have horror movies to help us down these paths. If you ever find yourself in need of a thrill or a chill, check out some of the best horror movies on Netflix, we’ve gathered here.

Enjoy your tricks and treats.

Looking for the best horror movies on Netflix UK? Click here!

As Above, So Below

We know what you might be thinking: a found footage horror movie? Yes, this was one of the later adherents to a genre craze that got run into the ground during the 2000s and early 2010s. However, As Above, So Below is the rare thing: effectively creepy. With a crackerjack premise about the real Catacombs of Paris being a secret gateway to Hell, the film casts an energetic Perdita Weeks as a modern day Indiana Jones in a Go-Pro helmet. She and her colleagues make the unwise choice to go off the tourist-guided path in the catacombs, which is home to the remains of more than 6 million people who died between the early middle ages and 18th century.

But once deep below the City of Lights, the film’s dwindling protagonists find themselves crawling beneath a wall with the words “Abandon all Hope Ye Who Enter.” And things just get bleak from there. This is a ghoulish good-time for those who are willing to indulge in the gimmick storytelling.

Apostle

Apostle comes from acclaimed The Raid director Gareth Evans and is his take on the horror genre. Spoiler alert: it’s a good one.

Dan Stevens stars as Thomas Richardson, a British man in the early 1900s who must rescue his sister, Jennifer, from the clutches of a murderous cult. Thomas successfully infiltrates the cult led by the charismatic Malcom Howe (Michael Sheen) and begins to ingratiate himself with the strange folks obsessed with bloodletting. Thomas soon comes to find that the object of the cult’s religious fervor may be more real than he’d prefer.

The Blackcoat’s Daughter

Some kids dream about being left overnight or even a week at certain locations to play, like say a mall or a Chuck E. Cheese. One place that no one wants to be left alone in, however, is a Catholic boarding school.

That’s the situation that Rose (Lucy Boynton) and Kat (Kiernan Shipka) find themselves in in the atmospheric and creepy The Blackcoat’s Daughter. When Rose and Kat’s parents are unable to pick them up for winter break, the two are forced to spend the week at their dingy Catholic boarding school. If that weren’t bad enough, Rose fears that she may be pregnant…oh, and the nuns might all be Satanists.

The Blackcoat’s Daughter is an excellent debut directorial outing from Oz Perkins and another step on the right horror path for scream queens Shipka and Emma Roberts.

The Evil Dead

1981’s The Evil Dead is nothing less than one of the biggest success stories in horror movie history.

Written and directed on a shoestring budget by Sam Raimi, The Evil Dead uses traditional horror tropes to its great advantage, creating a scary, funny, and almost inconceivably bloody story about five college students who encounter some trouble in a cabin in the middle of the woods. That trouble includes the unwitting release of a legion of demons upon the world.

The Evil Dead rightfully made stars of its creator and lead Bruce Campbell. It was also the jumping off point for a successful franchise that includes two sequels, a remake, a TV show, and more.

Gerald’s Game

We are living in a renaissance for Stephen King adaptations. But while there have been many killer clowns and hat-wearing fiends getting major attention at the multiplexes, the best King movie in perhaps decades is Mike Flanagan’s underrated Gerald’s Game. Cleverly adapted from what has been described as one of King’s worst stories, Gerald’s Game improves on its source material when it imagines a middle-aged woman (Carla Gugino) placed in a terrifying survival situation after her husband (Bruce Greenwood) dies of a heart attack during a sex game.

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Handcuffed to a bed in their remote cabin in the woods, Gugino’s Jessie must face the fact no one is coming to save her in the next week… more than enough time to die of dehydration or the wolf prowling about. Thus the specter of death hovers over the whole movie, seemingly literally with a monstrous shade emerging from the shadows to bedevil Jessie each night. A trenchant character study that frees Gugino to show a wide range of terror, determination, and finally horrifying desperation, the movie delves into the shadows of a woman haunted by trauma and demons almost as scary as her current situation. Almost.

The Gift

Who knew Joel Edgerton had it in him?

The Gift is the Australian actor’s writing and directing debut and it doesn’t disappoint. Edgerton stars as Gordon “Gordo” Mosely. He’s a nice enough middle-aged man if a little “off.” One day while shopping he runs into an old high school classmate Simon (Jason Bateman) and his wife Robyn (Rebecca Hall). After their brief encounter, Gordo takes it upon himself to start dropping off little gifts to Simon and Robyn’s home. Robyn sees no problem with it at first. But Simon becomes disturbed, perhaps because of the unique past Simon and Gordo share.

Many horror movies understand there must be a twist of some sort or at the very least an unexpected third act. Even still The Gift‘s third act switch up is particularly devastating because it’s so mundane and logical. The Gift ends up being an emotional drama disguised as horror.

The Girl with All the Gifts

Just when you thought there was nothing left to be done with the zombie genre, in comes a shocking and original idea… one that has sadly grown only more scary in 2020 with regards to The Girl with All the Gifts. A brilliant little indie from Colm McCarthy, this underrated gem imagines a zombie apocalypse as something closer to a viral pandemic that lasts for generations…. and one where a vaccine is always just out of reach.

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Thus enters the class of Helen Justineau (Gemma Arterton). Years after a fungal infection ravaged the planet, turning the infected into “hungries” (breathing zombies), their offspring have shown a creepy ability to retain the ability to think, learn, and love… even as they crave living flesh.

Hence the students in Helen’s class, including her favorite Melanie (Sennia Nanua). The child is special… too much so when it’s believed her biology could create a vaccine that would spare anymore humans turning “hungry.” But to harvest her body, the military will drag Helen and Melanie through an urban hellscape which has reduced London to an abandoned refuge for Hungries and feral children who likewise hunt uninfected humans for food.

The Golem

The Golem is such an awesome monster from Jewish mythology that it’s hard to believe they don’t make more movies about him. Well now they have. The Golem isn’t a straight-up remake of the 1915 movie of the same name so much as it is the next step in the evolution of this grim mythological beast.

During the outbreak of a plague, Hanna (Hani Furstenberg) will do whatever it takes to defend her community from outside invaders. Unfortunately, and in true fairy tale fashion, the creature she conjures up to defend her community quickly develops a murderous mind of its own.

Green Room

Green Room is a shockingly conventional horror movie despite not having all of the elements we traditionally associate with them. You won’t find any monsters or the presence of the supernatural in Green Room.

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Instead all monsters are replaced by vengeful neo-Nazis and the haunted house is replaced by a skinhead punk music club in the middle of nowhere in the Oregon woods. The band, The Aint Rights, led by bassist Pat (Anton Yelchin) are locked in the green room of a club after witnessing a murder and must fight their way out.

Horns

A horror vintage for a distinctly acquired taste, Alexandre Aja’s Horns is a bizarre fairy tale for adults. As much a revenge fable as a typical chiller, this movie which put “Harry Potter in Devil Horns” is actually something of a grim love story based on a novel by Joe Hill.

Daniel Radcliffe plays Ig Perrish, an outcast in his local community who wants nothing more than to forever be by the side of his lifelong love Merrin (Juno Temple). After her brutal unsolved murder prevents that, Ig swears he’d sell his soul to get revenge.

Funny thing is the day after he makes such a proclamation, horns begin growing from his forehead. The greater they grow, the easier it is to get sinners around him to confess their most hidden shames, and indulge in others. But with the clock ticking before he becomes a full-fledged demon, and his soul is presumably claimed by Beelzebub, there is only a narrow window before he can get revenge while raising a little hell.

Hush

In his follow-up to the cult classic Oculus, Mike Flanagan makes one of the more clever horror movies on this list. Hush is a thrilling game of cat-and-mouse within the typical nightmare of a home invasion, yet it also turns conventions of that familiar terror on its head.

For instance, the savvy angle about this movie is Kate Siegel (who co-wrote the movie with Flanagan) plays Maddie, a deaf and mute woman living in the woods alone. Like Audrey Hepburn’s blind woman from the progenitor of home invasion stories, Wait Until Dark (1967), Maddie is completely isolated when she is marked for death by a menacing monster in human flesh.

Like the masked villains of so many more generic home invasion movies (I’m looking square at you, Strangers), John Gallagher Jr.’s “Man” wears a mask as he sneaks into her house. However, the functions of this story are laid bare since we actually keep an eye on what the “Man” is doing at all times, and how he is getting or not getting into the house in any given scene. He isn’t aided by filmmakers who’ve given him faux-supernatural and omnipotent abilities like other versions of these stories, and he’s not an “Other;” he’s a man who does take his mask off, and his lust for murder is not so much fetishized as shown for the repulsive behavior that it is. And still, Maddie proves to be both resourceful and painfully ill-equipped to take him on in this tense battle of wills.

Insidious

Insidious is the start of a multi-film horror franchise and a pretty good one at that. Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne star as a married couple who move into a new home with their three kids. Shortly after they move in, their son Dalton is drawn to a shadow in the attic and then falls into a mysterious coma from which they can’t wake him.

It’s at this point that the Lamberts do what horror fans always yell at characters to do: they move out of the damn house! Little do they know, however, that some hauntings go beyond mere domiciles.

The Invitation

Seeing your ex is always uncomfortable, but imagine if your ex-wife invited you to a dinner party with her new husband? That is just about the least creepy thing in this taut thriller nestled in the Hollywood Hills.

Indeed, in The Invitation Logan Marshall-Green’s Will is invited by his estranged wife (Tammy Blanchard) for dinner with her new hubby David (Michael Huisman of Game of Thrones). David apparently wanted to extend the bread-breaking offer personally since he has something he wants to invite both Will and all his other guests into joining. And it isn’t a game of Scrabble…

It Comes at Night

Surviving the apocalypse comes with a certain amount of questions. For starters, what do you do after you survive a global pandemic thanks to your secluded cabin in the woods…and then someone comes knocking? That’s the situation that the family consisting of Paul (Joel Edgerton), Sarah (Carmen Ejogo), and Travis (Kelvin Harrison Jr.) find themselves in in It Comes at Night.

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When Paul and his family come across another family in the woods seeking shelter and water, they hesitantly welcome them in. But this soon proves to be a dangerous decision. Having guests in the real world is annoying enough to deal with and it only becomes harder when you suspect that any one of them could be sick with a highly-contagious, utterly fatal illness.

Paranormal Activity

Ignore the sequels. Yes, you know they’re bad and we know they’re bad. But long before “the Ghost Dimension” (whatever the hell that means), there was this eerie surprise hit that started it all. A movie which was estimated to be the most profitable movie of all time in its day–earning $193.4 million worldwide on a budget of $15,000–Paranormal Activity put Blumhouse Productions on the map and is still a supremely affecting piece of atmosphere.

Presented as the true story of a young, and not wholly likable, couple (Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat), the film follows the pair as they attempt to document the bumps they’re hearing in the house at night–only to discover a demonic presence and some repressed memories for one party. A still brilliant exercise in sound design, tension, and the uncanny ability to trick audiences into believing what they’re seeing is actually happening, this remains the best found footage horror movie ever made.

Poltergeist

Before there was Insidious, The Conjuring, or a myriad of other “suburban family vs. haunted house” movies, there was Poltergeist. Taking ghost stories out of the Gothic setting of ancient castles or decrepit mansions and hotels, Poltergeist moved the spirits into the middle class American heartland of the 1980s. With a smart screenplay by no less than Steven Spielberg (and, according to some, his ghost direction), Poltergeist finds the Freeling family privy to a disquieting fact about their new home: It’s built on top of a cemetery!

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You probably know the story, and if you don’t you can guess it after decades of copycats that followed, but this special effects-laden spectacle still holds up, especially as a thriller that can be enjoyed by the whole family. Fair warning though, if your kids have a tree outside their window or a clown doll under their bed, we don’t take responsibility for the years of therapy bills this may inflict!

Red Dragon

The often overlooked other child of the Hannibal Lecter movie family, Red Dragon is no The Silence of the Lambs, no matter how much it wishes it was. Nor is it as visually evocative or luscious as Ridley Scott’s decadent Hannibal. Nevertheless, we find this prequel to both films to be at least worthy of association with the former, and ultimately more satisfying than the latter. A definite attempt to reshape Thomas Harris’ first novel to feature the Lecter character into a Silence of the Lambs clone, Red Dragon still has quite a bit to enjoy.

At the top of the list is of course Sir Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal for the third and final time. Definitely his hammiest iteration of the character, even a campy Hopkins is impossible to resist given the not-so-good doctor’s droll wit or distinct taste palate. Director Brett Ratner’s framing around Lecter is competent enough, and he wisely gets a superb supporting cast who can overwhelm any shortcomings.

Edward Norton is a compelling lead FBI detective; Philip Seymour Hoffman is delightfully repellent as a tabloid journalist who suffers a terrifying fate; and Ralph Fiennes roars as the serial killer who inflicts that fate on Hoffman. It may be no Manhunter–Michael Mann’s first adaptation of the source novel–but Red Dragon‘s the one on Netflix. So love the one you’re with!

The Silence of the Lambs

If you are only going to watch one Hannibal Lecter movie, this is the all-time masterpiece which remains the sole horror movie to win an Oscar for Best Picture. An absolutely gripping thriller even 30 years later, Jonathan Demme’s movie is an all-time great because of stellar performances and a sharp screenplay told by an even sharper eye.

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Here is the movie that kicked off the serial killer craze in Hollywood during the ’90s. Yet more than the gory details, what lingers in the mind are little things like an opening sequence that introduces Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) as the lone woman on an elevator full of FBI ubermensches, or the way Anthony Hopkins breaks his unrelenting stare to mispronounce “Chianti” with dripping disdain for the Yokel sent to interview him. Every facet of this movie works, and thus it hasn’t aged a day. We do recommend watching it with a side of fava beans, though.

Sinister

One of the better Blumhouse chillers to come out of the 2010s, Sinister is the case of a brilliant elevator pitch meeting a superior pair of talents in director Scott Derrickson and star Ethan Hawke to bring it to life.

The setup of the movie is simple: There is a pagan demon god who will consume the soul of any nearby children whenever someone sees him. And not just him, but recreations of his image on walls. And wouldn’t you know it, true crime journalist Ellison (Hawke) just moved into a house with an attic full of home movies stuffed to the gills with Bughuul. And Ellison’s daughter is right downstairs. Uh oh.

Sleepy Hollow

As much a comedy as a horror film, Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow should always be on the table when discussing October viewing options. After all, this demented reimagining of Washington Irving’s classic short story, “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” never forgets the selling point is to have them rolling in the aisles. And more than a few heads do just that.

As a film with the most varied and imaginative uses of decapitation, Sleepy Hollow cuts a bloody path across Upstate New York. In fact, despite its American setting, we might as well confess what Sleepy Hollow really is: a modern version of a Hammer horror movie.

Burton incorporates all of his favorite tropes here: The intentionally stuffy faux-British acting (even though all the characters are of Dutch descent); the exaggerated and formal clothing; more than a few heaving bosoms; and lots and lots of gore. This film is so perfectly macabre and gleefully grotesque that you might even be forgiven for not noticing at first glance how dryly funny and deadpan a place this Sleepy Hollow tends to be.

Splice

What if Dr. Frankenstein banged his monster? That is just one of several creepy elements to Splice, a weird psychosexual sci-fi/horror hybrid. Directed by Vincenzo Natali and starring Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley as the world’s worst scientists, Splice follows two not-so-smart doctors who attempt to play God by creating an entire new species of creature they name Dren (Delphine Chanéac).

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At first a computer-generated child with alien eyes and a roping tail, Dren soon grows from girl to young woman, seducer to… well, something even more unexpected. Weird, unpleasant, and ultimately unshakable like that one bad dream, Splice plays with ideas of identity, gender, and parenthood.

Sweetheart

Don’t let the name fool you, Sweetheart is very much a horror movie. What kind of horror movie, you ask? Well, after a boat sinks during a storm, young Jennifer Remming (Kiersey Clemons) is the only survivor. She washes ashore a small island and gets to work burying her friends, creating shelter, and foraging for food. You know: deserted island stuff.

Soon, however, Jenn will come to find that the island is not as deserted as she previously thought. There’s something out there – something big, dangerous, and hungry. Sweetheart is like Castaway meets Predator and it’s another indie horror hit for Blumhouse.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is a fantastic little satire on the horror genre that, in a similar fashion to Scream, is packed with laughs, gore, and a bit of a message. When a group of preppy college students head out to the backwoods for a camping trip, they stumble upon two good-natured good ol’ boys that they mistake for homicidal hillbillies.

Their quick, off-the-mark judgment of Tucker and Dale lead to these snobs getting themselves into sticky, often bloody, and hilariously over-the-top situations. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil rides a one-joke premise to successful heights and teaches audiences to not judge a book by its cover.

Under the Shadow

This 2016 effort could not possibly be more timely as it sympathizes, and terrorizes, an Iranian single mother and child in 1980s Tehran. Like a draconian travel ban, Shideh (Narges Rashidi) and her son Dorsa (Avin Manshadi) are malevolently targeted by a force of supreme evil.

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This occurs after Dorsa’s father, a doctor, is called away to serve the Iranian army in post-revolution and war-torn Iran. In his absence evil seeps in… as does a quality horror movie with heightened emotional weight.

Underworld

No one is going to mistake Underworld for high art. That obvious fact makes the lofty pretensions of these movies all the more endearing. With a cast of high-minded British theatrical actors, many trained in the Royal Shakespeare Company, at least the early movies in this Gothic horror/action mash-up series were overflowing with histrionic self-importance and grandiosity.

Take the first and best in the series. In the margins you have Bill Nighy and Michael Sheen portraying the patriarchs of warring factions of vampires and werewolves, and a love story caught between their violence that’ shamelessly modeled on Romeo and Juliet. It’s ridiculous, especially with Scott Speedman playing one party. But when the other is the oft-underrated Kate Beckinsale it doesn’t matter.

The movie’s bombast becomes the movie’s first virtue, and Len Wiseman’s penchant for glossy slick visuals, which would look at home in the sexiest Eurotrash graphic novel at the bookstore, is its other. Combined they make this a guilty good time. Though we recommend not venturing past the second or third movie.

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pellicano-sanguino · 4 years

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The Long Carmilla Post 2 - Return of the Long Post about the Queen of Lesbian Vampires

When Tumblr tightened its policy about censoring nudity, they targeted a long post I'd made about Carmilla, since I showed photos of Ingrid Pitt and Yutte Stensgaard with their bare breasts in it. I have now censored the post, edited it and added a little. Carmilla is my favourite vampire of all time, and I have a long history with her different incarnations, so I wanted to bring the Long Carmilla Post back.

When I first posted the Long Carmilla Post, I had just seen the movie made by the Carmilla webseries folks. The sudden fame of the webseries surprised me. I can't help but think, that there must be a lot of new Carmilla fans, who instantly think of Natasha Negovanlis when they hear that name. If this series had been around when I was a teen, damn, would I have loved it! I would have been obsessed with it. But it was not, and I can't really become as obsessed with it now as the new fans do. Because when I hear the name Carmilla, several different faces appear in my imagination. I have already been obsessed with Carmilla from a rather young age, and while I love the webseries and this movie, for me it's just one of Carmilla's newer incarnations, not her default form.

I don't want to sound like a hipster (”I liked Carmilla before the webseries made her cool!”), I just thought that as a lesbian vampire lover I should make a post about my favourite vampire, and the history I have with the character.

There are some images of blood under the cut.

When I was younger, there really wasn't any lesbian litterature around (well, there probably was but I didn't know what books to search). I had a habit of switching genders in the books I read, making everyone female so I could get the girl romances I craved for, but this always felt forced and not ”real.” I read lots of vampire stories, because I've always loved that genre, but it was very much dominated by stories of male vampires. When I read Dracula, it had a short introduction speech that talked about the history of modern vampire stories, and it mentioned Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla.

Tracking the novella down was a bit hard, considering that back then I didn't have internet and so could only read books that I found in the library and bookstores. Fortunately the translation of Carmilla was included in one horror anthology that our library had. I managed to get my hands on it, and this cover illustration was the first ”face” of Carmilla that I knew.

I can't really put a finger on why I became so obsessed with this story. It's not that great of a novella. A very basic old-timey vampire story about a monster who threatens the life of the protagonist, who is saved when the monster's true nature is revealed, after which it is hunted down and destroyed. And the lesbian subtext is very, very subtle. There was just something very mysterious and fascinating about Carmilla. She is still among the few vampires who actually frighten me. Though Le Fanu's story isn't very scary by modern standards, Laura's nightmare scenes somehow got under my skin. There's something very creepy in the way vampires in older stories used to steal blood from their victims while they were sleeping. The idea, that there exists a predator who instead of straight up attacking its prey, approaces it by a cover of flawless mimicry, is horrifying. You are being slowly eaten alive and you're not even aware of it happening, or that it's your charming friend doing it to you.

I started having dreams about Carmilla. The first ones were nightmares, but even if they were scary, they didn't make me anxious, just excited. I was scared of Carmilla, but I wanted to see her, I wanted to hear her voice. It was as if I had fallen under her spell, much like Laura, but unlike Laura, I was aware of her true nature. I knew what she wanted, I knew that in my dreams, her kisses would lead to bites. But to a young lesbian who loved vampire stories, those kisses were worth losing a few drops of blood in the dream kingdom. She was one of ”my people.” She was not a genderswapped male hero, she was ”real.” She genuinely loved women and blood, and I loved her.

Halloween isn't really celebrated where I live, but one October a friend of mine decided that she'd hold a Halloween party (which became a yearly tradition for us for many years to come). She invited a group of her friends to watch horror movies at her house, and everyone should wear a costume. There was no competition what I would go as. I had a light blue dress that I decorated with blood stains, and over it I wore a dark gray cape, on which I had painted purple flower patterns to make it resemble the coat Carmilla wears on the cover illustration. It must be almost twenty years old, but I still have that cape.

Little Pellicano as Carmilla. I think I must have been 13 or 14 when this party was held.

Then I saw my first Carmilla movie. A Hammer film called Vampire Lovers.

This is a very silly movie. Very cheesy. But young Pellicano loved it. I can still quote many of the scenes from memory. The movie follows LeFanu's novella rather loosely, but I think it's one of the most faithful adaptations. It included the basic ”plot” that Carmilla uses to get close to her victims, has the nightmares (including Carmilla's monstrous cat form), keeps the plot point that she must form her new names anagrammically and makes her killer be a man who lost his daughter to the vampire. So far I think it's the only movie version that includes the scene where Carmilla sees the funeral procession of a girl she killed and loses it completely. I've always found that scene interesting, many claim that her fit of anxiety is caused by hearing the chanting (being unholy creature who's weak to christian things) but I think it's more than that. Either she has horrifying flashbacks to her own funerals (waking to vampirism and having to claw her way out of her own grave, that would scar me for sure) or she is genuinely sorry for killing the girl and terrified of having to face the truth that her love will always end in death.

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I want to interpret Carmilla as a vampire who really loves her victims, not as playthings but as real lovers. But she wasn't a reluctant vampire either, she embraced the monstrous side of herself. It was natural to her, and so it was inevitable that the women she loved would eventually die. Maybe she preferred to ignore this knowledge in the daytime, and when she was forced to see what her night time activities had resulted in, the fit of anxiety happened.

A bit off topic, but one scene from the novella that I've never seen make it into a movie, is when a wandering salesman offers his dentistry services to Carmilla, offering to file down her fangs, which sends Carmilla into a fit of rage. I don't know, I always thought that scene pretty funny. Poor guy, offering to de-fang a vampire and getting a HOW DARE YOU rant in response.

So, the next ”face” of Carmilla was obviously Ingrid Pitt. While this movie wasn't particularly explicit (all the sex happens off screen), the lesbian subtext was much less subtle, which pleased young Pellicano. And then there was the infamous bathing scene (would show pics, but gotta censor for Tumblr. You can easily find them by image googling.).

When I was younger, I suffered from being underweight for a long time (had always been a small girl). Seeing Ingrid Pitt's figure motivated me to try to gain weight. She was so beautifully soft and curved, not just her chest, but her shoulders and legs and everything just looked so smooth and nice, while I had thin, pointy, stick-like limbs with sharp edges and none of that lovely roundness. I know teens should not look at celebrities and actresses as body models, but I think having Ingrid Pitt's shape as body goal was healthy for me. I never reached that goal, of course, but I did eventually reach normal weight limits (50kg, the weight needed for blood donors).

That friend of mine, who hosted Halloween parties, watched the movie with me and knew that I was obsessed with Carmilla. One day she got me a fake gold necklace with a red plastic gem on it, shaped like a blood drop. I don't know where she got this trinket from, but it was similar to the pendant Carmilla wears in the movie, and even if it was just cheap junk, I treasured it. And totally wore it during the next Halloween party, going as Carmilla like I always did. I've lost the gold chain, but I still have the gem.

Also still have the VHS. I don't know why I've kept it, I have no VHS player anymore.

Before I move on from Ingrid Pitt, I’d like to mention a pet peeve of mine. Ingrid Pitt has done two vampire roles (three if Elisabeth Bathory from Countess Dracula is counted). The more famous role is obviously Carmilla, it’s probably her most famous role ever, period. Her other vampire role is Carla Lynde from House that Dripped Blood. Now, the thing that annoys me is that article writers tend to always mix these two up. Whenever they write something about Carmilla or female vampires in general, they always mention Ingrid Pitt’s role as Carmilla in Vampire Lovers, but they always use the same damn stupid promo photo that is from House that Dripped Blood. That’s lazy research! Do they just image google “Ingrid Pitt vampire” and fail to check if the photo they use is actually from the movie they’re talking about?! The roles don’t even look identical, Carmilla’s a brunette while Carla Lynde is blonde, Vampire Lovers is set in 1800s, House that Dripped Blood is set in 20th century. The worst one was when the museum in my home city had a vampire themed exhibition and even they used the wrong photo for Vampire Lovers. If a museum can’t get their facts straight, that’s just sad.

Here is an example of my pet peeve in action, an article about vampire movies, using the wrong fucking photo for Vampire Lovers. And yes, I know why they like using this particular photo (”höhöhöö boobs, I’m so mature”). But that just makes me more angry when they do it.

Hammer made a sequel to Vampire Lovers called Lust for a Vampire. It was... disappointing. It introduced a male love interest for Carmilla, which in my opinion was complete bullshit. If you want to make a story about a female vampire who falls in love with a human boy, by all means make it, but don't call it Carmilla, call it something else. That being said, there were a good amount of lesbian action going on as well (this time Carmilla plotted her way into an all girls' school...) and if there's one thing Hammer rarely fails at delivering, it's the bucketloads of unconvincing bright red fake blood. I skipped the icky het sex, but always enjoyed this scene:

Yeah, Yutte Stensgaard was the third ”face” of Carmilla. When I think of that name, this blood-covered, sleepy-looking vampire maiden is among the images that instantly pop into my mind.

The third Carmilla movie I saw was titled just Carmilla and starred Meg Tilly.

This was clearly a cheaper (maybe made for TV) adaptation. Meg Tilly didn't leave as big an impression as Ingrid Pitt and Yutte Stensgaard did. But I do remember one line from the movie clearly. When Marie (the southerner ”Laura” of this version) asks about Carmilla's past, Carmilla brushes it aside by saying ”That was another lifetime. I'm much happier now.” I adopted this phrase into use. Whenever people are unknowingly asking about a painful thing from my past that I don't want to talk about, I will say it to let them know that nothing good comes from digging old wounds that have already scarred. That was another lifetime. I'm much happier now.

I do remember that Meg Tilly's Carmilla was the movie with the ”awkward floaty blood drinking pose.”

I'm sorry, but that just doesn't look comfortable. Or functional.

Then the big day came – my family got a computer that could access internet. It was an awful piece of junk that could barely be used for writing emails and visiting messageboards. It wouldn't play videos, loading images took forever and big pictures often made it freeze. However, I had access to the internet now. The first word I ever googled was obviously ”carmilla.” Among the sites I found back then, was one about a German play, starring a woman called Ulrike Schneidewind.

The site had big, beautiful promo photos of the play. They took forever to load, but I returned to watch them often. There was something captivating in Ulrike Schneidewind's look for Carmilla. I'm not usually a fan of vampires with the white face+red lipstick+loads of mascara-look, but hers was beautiful, like a painting, like a creature that really wasn't human.

I don’t know if they used fake blood in the actual play or if it was only for these promo photos, but it looks incredibly pretty and surprisingly convincing.

I have no idea what this demon looking thing is supposed to be - Carmilla’s monstrous cat form maybe?

Ulrike Schneidewind became the next ”face” of Carmilla, even though I have never seen her act. All I've seen are these promo photos of the play (I have heard her speak. There's a couple minutes long news clip on Youtube about a vampire lifestyler event she attended). Supposedly there exists a VHS of the Carmilla play they performed on a Romanian tour, but they must have only made a handful of those, since I've never seen it on sale anywhere. I check the German eBay every now and then in faint hopes of finding a copy but I've come to accept that I'll probably never see this show. But still, Ulrike Schneidewind's look left an impression on my mind.

Around those times I started to draw comics in which my self-insert character shared a house with six vampire roommates (Carmilla, who owned the house, Brunhilda from Wake Not the Dead, Teresa from Last Lords of Gardonal, Ruthven, Dracula and Francis Varney) and an OC named Charity (Brunhilda's donor and girlfriend). I mostly pulled the designs for my vampires out of thin air, really (well, Dracula was as he was descrided in the novel, with fuzzy moustache and bushy eyebrows) but Carmilla's design was based on Ulrike Schneidewind's look, with blue veins shining through the white skin and lots of dark makeup and black hair.

Sad part is that it's been over ten years and my drawing skills have not improved at all. This is not ”art” this is doodles. But drawing these was super fun back then, so I shouldn't feel ashamed of them now, I think.

Besides these comics, I wrote some fanfics too. But I'm very glad I never put those anywhere public, because damn, they are embarrassing to read now. It's because my fanfics were actually serious business, full of drama and sturm und drang, and they turned out rather cheesy. Also full of, ahem, erotic content written by someone who had no personal experience on the subject yet. The comics on the other hand were just made for shits and giggles, and I think they've survived the test of time better (by which I mean, that I have actually shown my comics to other people, because occasionally I think I made a fun one, while I've never shown my fics to anyone and have already burned the worst ones.).

When the wonderland of internet was opened to me, I gained access to all the books in the world. I was no longer restricted by what our library and book stores had, I could buy stuff that wasn't published here. So obviously I got a copy of Kyle Marffin's Carmilla sequel. It's not a very good book. Quite silly, childish and badly written (men really shouldn't write about lesbians, they know nothing about them and enjoying an erotic scene becomes rather hard when you imagine some gross het dude writing it while drooling on his keyboard). But it was the first time I read a rather explicit lesbian sex scene, and that got me very excited, because finally all the subtext was thrown to garbage. Here it was, black on white, proof that Carmilla was into girls, not just their blood but their bodies as well. My late discovery of lesbian erotica may seem weird now, when anyone can gain access to mountains of lesbian smut in the internet, but back when I lived with my parents I never dared to look up smut on the home computer, in fear that they'd find out. Until I moved out, my only access to lesbian erotica was books, and Carmilla's Return was the first one I got.

Rant time: I might also add, that annoyingly enough I had been encountering explicit het sex scenes in books, movies and TV years before. And while I never intentionally searched naughty stuff on the net, I had bumped into het porn there accidentally as well. I wonder if heteros understand how freaking frustrating this kind of thing was. Their smut was all over the place, in every book, every film and all around the net, pretty much rubbed to my face, while MY stuff was so obscure I didn't even know where to look for it. And then they had the nerve to claim that we are ”flaunting it” and ”making it all about ourselves” whenever there was a gay sidecharacter somewhere. Grr. Grrr. Rant over.

I bumped into some incarnations of Carmilla later too, but none left an impression on my mind like these early ones did. The worst Carmilla I ever saw was the main villain in Lesbian Vampire Killers. That movie is easily the worst vampire movie I have ever seen (maybe even the worst movie I've seen, period), it's an ”erotic horror comedy” that is neither sexy, scary or funny. It is nice that when they were thinking of a character to star in a movie about lesbian vampires, they chose Carmilla. But the movie is such utter garbage, I'd rather they'd left my favourite vampire out of it. Save your money and sanity - don't watch this movie. It's bad.

I feel like a lot of time people want to take Carmilla's name and make a whole new character with it (like Reimi Urara's character in Vampire Succession, who is named Carmilla but isn't even a vampire at all). These ”Carmilla in name only” kind of characters don't count, and frankly speaking I'm not that fond of them. I guess it is nice that people want to pay respect to the legendary vampire by naming a character after her, but my opinion still is that if you don't want to tell the story of a lesbian vampire, call your character something else. If you take away either of Carmilla's two passions; that of women or that of blood, the character loses her trademark characteristics and stops being ”real.” You don't make a Godzilla movie where the king of the monsters isn't allowed to have his trademark atomic breath, and you don't make a Carmilla who doesn't love women and blood.

Now that I have said that, you probably guess my opinion about the (*spoilers*) ending of the webseries's third season. Yeah, I wasn't a fan of humanizing Carmilla. So, I went to see the movie with rather low expectations, and was pleasantly surprised. This movie is more Carmilla than all of the webseries's seasons together.

But let's speak about the webseries first. I was very positively surprised by it. One day I ended up googling Carmilla again (was probably looking for fanfics) and discovered this little gem. It had very little to do with Le Fanu's original, but what it decided to change was so good that I didn't care. And it had still lots of little nods to the novella. Carmilla's anagrammical names, the nightmares, they freaking included Laura's governesses De Lafontaine and Perrodon (I would totally watch a spin-off that just follows the adventures of Laf and Perry) and there's even a scene where Carmilla is watching over sleeping Laura, looking a bit similar to a famous illustration of the novella. Also, the theme song ”Love will have it's sacrifices”, is a direct quote, from a scene where Carmilla is describing to Laura the night when the curse of vampirism was passed on to her (of course, she doesn't out right say it, but the reader knows what she's talking about).

”--- I was all but assassinated in my bed, wounded here," she touched her breast, "and never was the same since."

"Were you near dying?"

"Yes, very--a cruel love--strange love, that would have taken my life. Love will have its sacrifices. No sacrifice without blood.---”

I'm not going to say the webseries doesn't have its flaws, a little lazy writing here and there, plot holes and inconsistent characters occasionally (I feel sorry for Danny. She just can't win.). But it was incredibly entertaining, it made me laugh and it made me care about what happens to everyone. And like probably a lot of the fans, I adored the fact that they didn't dance around the lesbian thing. When Laura understands that Carmilla's advances weren't blood-related, her reaction isn't any dumb ”But we're both girls, how can this be?!” Whoever understood to make Laura gay too was a genius. When she gets all flattered and blushing after learning that a beautiful girl finds her attractive, it's such a relatable feeling. It's the lesbian romance I so wanted as a teen! Not stories of a predatory lesbian seducing dumb clueless het girls to the dark side, but girls experiencing all the usual things female leads in romantic stories do, only with another girl as their love interest.

The first season of the webseries is my favourite. The second was pretty good, too. Third, in my opinion, a bit unnecessary (here I think you could see the writing starting to slip). Then came the movie.

They could have completely abandoned the vampire theme and proceeded with the heroes' further adventures. But they didn't and thank goodness for it. They return to draw inspiration from the original source; the novella. We have nightmares, and I admit they actually made me uneasy, reminding me of that creepy feel Laura's dream scenes gave me in the novella. The image of Carmilla laying down in a coffin filled with blood is also from the story. There's a scene where Carmilla is forced to reveal her vampiric nature, and it really reminds me of the scene where it happens in the book.

And they freaking quote it, probably being the first adaptation ever to use straight quotes from the book. ”Die together so they can live together”-speech isn't quite right word-to-word, I think, but still, it's an identifiable quote. I used to be able to quote the ”You are mine, you shall be mine”-speech in English, Swedish and German, but have now forgotten most versions (yeah, I read Carmilla in several languages when I was younger. I was freaking obsessed with the story). I still think it's the most memorable quote from the novella. Also, the book-reading scene with ”Girls are caterpillars who undergo several larval stages before becoming butterflies”-speech is also from the novella. I think the only famous quote missing in this movie is the ”I've never been in love and never shall unless it should be with you”-speech.

As a fan of the ”old” Carmilla I adore how they pay homage to the origin respectfully, while still making their very own story. Again, teenaged Pellicano would have been all over this stuff. But I had to make my lesbian vampire stories from other versions, and while those also have their flaws, I adore them just as much. I am just happy that Carmilla lives on, not forgotten and left in the shadow of the countless more famous male vampires (seriously, where the fuck are all the female vampires? Ones that are actually main characters in their story and pass the freaking vampiric Bechdel test?)

Carmilla lives on, indeed. She has made a new comeback in Netflix's Castlevania series. I watched the first season and liked it quite a bit. It was a bit too gorey for my personal taste, but that wasn’t a dealbreaker. I liked the art style and was interested to see where they take the story. When I heard rumours that the second season would have a character named Carmilla, my reaction was pretty much “Carmilla is part of the Castlevania franchise?! Why did no one tell me this before?!”

Of course I’m always eager to see new adaptations of my favourite vampire. So, I did some research to know which games she appears in, made some popcorn and sat down to watch some Let’s Play videos (I’m not a gamer and don’t own game consoles so the only way I get to experience videogames is through Let’s Plays in Youtube.). But I ended up rather disappointed. Carmilla in the Castlevania games is cartoonishly silly at best, downright insulting to the original at worst.

So, after seeing how poorly the games treated my favourite vampire, I looked forward to the second season of the Netflix series with mixed feelings. I was hopeful, thinking that they can't go anywhere but up from here. And I was pleasantly surprised. The character design made her a bit silly looking with eeeevil face and her body language is very femme fatale-ish (I don’t really see the appeal of the femme fatale trope, but then again, it’s usually written for male audience), but they didn't put her in an ugly, revealing costume and the camera focused on her face instead of her breasts.

It's disappointing that she isn't a lesbian in this one (she makes one joke that hints she might be into girls too, but because Dracula's war council is mostly one big sausage fest, we don't see her interact with other females much).

I am so, so happy that the makers of the show understood that Carmilla is not some boot-licking notice-me-senpai Dracula fangirl (an aspect of her I loathed in the games). The only reasons for a lesbian vampire to ally with a male one are if they have a common goal (such as defending themselves against vampire hunters) or if she has no other choice. Netflix Carmilla is the latter. Dracula is a powerful, dangerous monster, who is also very much insane and therefore unpredictable. When he summons Carmilla to join his senseless crusade against humankind, Carmilla can't afford to refuse and take the chance of the mad vampire king killing her for disobedience and making a warning example of her. She has to go to war she herself deems pointless (well, Godbrand had a point in his ”If vampires kill all the humans, what will the vampires eat?”-speech.). So she begins to plot to prevent the genocide (she actually wants humankind to keep existing as opposed to wiping them from the face of the Earth, remind me again why she is the one every fan hates while they love Dracula the Kill All Humans-madman? Oh right, she assaults one of the male fan favourite characters on screen and is therefore deemed much more evil than Dracula who slaughters countless innocent humans offscreen without mercy. Got it.).

I love that she uses cunning instead of seduction when putting her plot to gain freedom from Dracula's servitude in action. Admittedly, some of the scenes where she's manipulating Hector seem a bit seductive-ish, but are still nothing compared to the ”Oh great master let me lick the blood off your sword!”-bullshit from the games. Also, was I the only one who could see right through her mindgames? Every time she complimented some man, I was shaking my head ”Lady, even blind Reetta can see that you are full of shit.” So it really surprised me when Hector fell for it. How do you fall for such an obvious trap?

I like that Carmilla's reasons for her schemes are reasonable and based on common sense and war strategy rather than just being evil for the sake of being evil. That being said, the scene where she beats Hector felt unnecessary, the man was tied up and would have gone with her even without getting his ass handed to him, because he's a prisoner and has no choice. I understand that it's an important scene symbolically, tying back to the scene where the animal-loving Hector compares vampires to cats, to which Isaac points out that cats play cruelly with their prey. It's a turning point for Hector, who abandoned humanity and tried to find a new family among monsters only to realize that they are, well, monsters. What did you expect voting for Leopards Eating Peoples' Faces Party would bring to you? Anyway, I understand that the scene is important to the plot and character growth, but I can't help but feel that making Carmilla assault a fan favourite character so brutally was the writers way of making sure the audience hates her. I have a feeling that they want to be sure the audience hates her, because they have something disgusting in mind for her for the third season.

I already talked about this in my ”If you have to kill female vampires on screen, please don't make it look like a rape”-post. I am worried what they are going to do with Carmilla. She's obviously going to get killed, but I hope they allow her to go down with dignity. Lords of Shadows 2 already gave us a really disgusting, rapey killing scene (I’ve only seen one killing scene with an even clearer “lesbianism can be cured by rape”-theme, in Lesbian Vampire Killers where Carmilla is impaled by a dick-shaped sword), we do not need another. I don't want Hector or Isaac or Dracula impaling her body slowly and looking downward at her in disgust as she painfully dies. Yes, Dracula will be coming back, it's Castlevania after all. I'm also worried of the possibility that instead of killing her, they make Dracula force her back into his servitude, which would also be super gross.

I am happy that the character of Carmilla lives on, that new fans get to experience her with these new incarnations, but whenever a new Carmilla surfaces, I am also a bit worried at how they are going to handle her character this time. I will have to wait and see how the third season of Castlevania ends, until then it is useless to speculate.

#carmilla #vampire #vampire lovers #lust for a vampire #ingrid pitt #yutte stensgaard #ulrike schneidewind #natasha negovanlis #meg tilly

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crimsonxserpent · 5 years

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( Katie McGrath, 34, cisfemale, she/her ) Was that DIANA SINCLAIR ? I heard a rumor they work for the O’SHEA family, but who knows for sure ? they can be a bit VINDICTIVE & HEDONISTIC, but I also heard they can be CARING & PRAGMATIC. you’ll usually find them at SKYFALL in their spare time, when they’re not being a GENERAL. you may want to keep an eye on that one !

hi it is i, claire again (she/her, GMT+2) i present to you the second of my bbies, the myth, the legend, a bitch by the name Diana Sinclair (shh that’s not her real name). anyway she’s an old kid of mine that I’ve had for 5 years so i have a lot of thoughts on her, and if you want me to throw her at you leave a ❤ (i love her so much but i promise i’ll contain myself)

pinterest page STATS: ➤ NAME: Diana Odette Sinclair ➤ REAL NAME: Anastasiya Spasskaya ➤ AGE: 34 ➤ DOB: 3rd of January ➤ BORN: Sankt Petersburg, Russia Paris, France ➤ HEIGHT: 5′5′’ ➤ SIBLINGS: a twin brother (Evgeny Spassky) ➤ MBTI: ENTJ ➤ ORIENTATION: bisexual ➤ OCCUPATION: art thief/forger, general for the O’Shea ➤ EDUCATION: bachelor’s degree in fine arts, finance ➤ TATTOOS: yes, a rose with thorns medially from her hip ➤ SCARS: yes, various ➤ AESTHETICS: chanel and dior and agent provocateur, goes nowhere without her jimmy choos, blood-red lipstick and nails to match, diamonds are a girl’s best friend, classic aston martin DB5, a gun strapped to her thigh, and knives in various places, sly words and a sharp smile, ‘mon cheri and darling’ thrown in when she’s talking, black sobranie and an old silver lighter ➤ VICES: tobacco, alcohol, sex ➤ PETS: yes, an akhal-teke mare named Duchess and a border collie named Nyx

HISTORY:

➤ They were called the golden twins, as children so alike each other you could barely tell them apart, and always together, two of them against the world. Born two minutes prior to her brother, Anastasiya Spasskaya was the eldest child, and perhaps it was fated from the moment of her birth, that her life would never be normal. Spoiled to the excess, as the daughter of a Russian mobster masquerading as an oligarch in oil trade, the world Anastasiya was raised in alongside her twin was as far from ‘real’ as one could get. It was all opulence, luxury and extravagance, and yet in its core it was as limiting as a prison cell. Born in this world of violence, from the moment they were conceived, the twins had a target painted squarely on their backs. Two innocents born into the life of savagery, Anastasiya and Evgeny never knew the world outside the violence and opulence that surrounded them, and this was perhaps exactly what eventually made them more savage than the world they were born into. ➤ Fearful that their enemies might find their children and use them as leverage, the moment a threat was uttered against the twins’ life when they were still infants, Alina and Alexander Spassky bought a deed to an estate near Sochi and rarely allowed them to leave it. A gated mansion only Alexander held keys to, the 97 acre estate held everything imaginable required for human happiness. A place large enough for the twins to get lost in, by accident or by resolve, and daunting enough for them to never want to leave it, it was the only place they ever called home. ➤ Besides, the two were given everything they needed, and more – caretakers, toys, private tutors, chefs, horses and abundance of clothes, everything except motherly love. Cold and distant, Alina was as rotten on the inside as she was fair on the outside – a former Bolshoi ballerina, she never harbored much maternal instinct. But what their mother lacked in fondness, their father made up for every chance he got, spoiling his little angels to no end, especially Anastasiya in whose fire he saw his true heir. Their parents were rarely home however, spending weeks – sometimes months – away in Moscow and Sankt-Petersburg. Devoid of love and in absence of their parents, the twins learned to always rely on each other, and the love they shared was the only love they ever knew. ➤ Anastasiya was seven when she first witnessed a man being killed. Though such appalling scene might have scarred anyone, by the time Anastasiya was ten, she was completely desensitized to the violence and treachery of her father’s mob that it became simply another aspect of everyday life. Her father had killed, had tortured, had maimed and yet this fact never quite phased her, she would just whisper about it to Evgeny as if it excited her to see their usual routine interrupted by something, even if that something was painted red with blood. They were honed and perfect the way one would prepare a weapon, to one day become the heirs, and it felt like the world was theirs to conquer. ➤ Little did they know than in a matter of a years this illusion would be shattered into a million pieces, and that their inevitable fall from grace was fast approaching. And what a fall it was. It was their mother - their seemingly disinterested mother - who took away the one parent they cared for, committing the betrayal none of them saw coming, and one she would pay for just like Anastasiya promised. It was then that Anastasiya realised she was capable of committing monstrous crimes just to keep her brother safe, to keep them both safe. But would it be enough? ➤ The answer came soon enough in a form of her brother’s blood, drenching her hands as she knelt beside his lifeless body. While Anastasiya managed to overthrow the apparatus her mother instated after her husband’s untimely death, partly with her own two hands and partly through a loyal apparatus of her own - dangers still lurked in the shadows, too many to keep track of for a 19 year old girl, too many to stop when they decided to kill her brother. ➤ She left Moscow then - and she hasn’t looked back ever since. There was nothing left there that she cared for, their legacy was nothing without her father and brother. She followed the instructions her father had left her in case the empire fell apart and the two of them had to escape, and she followed them all the way to Paris, a beautiful white house in Trocadéro. A man awaited her there – somehow he knew she was coming long before even she did – a man, she would learn, whose name was a thing of shadows, deep depraved corners of the criminal world. She’d expected him to be a force to be reckoned with in his own right, but she’d never expected him to be so young and handsome and charming. He was barely 26, pulling the strings from the shadows, his presence a perilous, alluring thing - how could she resist, she was enthralled. ➤ He taught her how you could trade names and secrets instead of weapons and oil, how art was where the money was at, how one could kill for the pleasure of it. She became his protege, his assassin, and finally his wife. It was a turbulent relationship, one could not call it love per se, but a mutual obsession. She was young and fascinated, and he was brilliant and unpredictable. And so was his death. ➤ She never saw it coming - although in retrospective, she should have. He was unstable, a price one had to pay for the genius he possessed. He’d decided he’d won the game, conquered what he wanted, that a gun to his head was one final, ultimate check mate to his opponents. He never cared about how shattered it would leave her, how empty she would feel without him, how she was losing yet another man she loved. And as she held his body and blood painted the snow red, she decided she had to go - where? She had no idea. What was there left for her to do, but do the one thing she was good at - murder and theft. ➤ And so she picked Chicago - a city large enough to offer her anonymity, and depraved enough to take her for what she was - a murderess. She had connections there, people both her father and her husband had been involved in - the O’Sheas. They offered her a cornerstone, something to hold on to, something to be loyal to, a purpose - and she would forever be grateful for that. Whatever life she’d once lead was behind her now, lost in the wind of time - there was nothing else to do but look ahead.

PERSONALITY:

+ caring, loyal, pragmatic, charming, intelligent - vindictive, hedonistic, quick-tempered, dramatic, violent

HEADCANONS:

➤ She drives an Aston Martin DB5 and is absolutely obsessed with it, she loves that car. It was a gift from her father back in the day and she’s kept it in pristine condition all these years. Her fierce attachment comes from the fact it’s one of those rare things that keeps her connected to her father. ➤ The akhal-teke mare, Duchess, was an anniversary gift from her husband - she got her a few months before he killed himself, and she loves that horse dearly, making sure to visit her whenever she has time. ➤ She has a fondness for sniper rifles - it’s a clean job and requires peace of mind and precision, something she’d learned back in Paris. It’s sort of a legacy from another time, and her preferred way of killing someone when it’s possible. Her signature shot is a bullet through the carotid artery. ➤ She was once a girl of faith, but it’s a topic she has mixed feelings on these days - how can she believe in something when her hands are stained red with blood? Still, she likes the peace and quiet of churches, regardless which faith they belong to, and they offer her shelter and solace when she needs it. ➤ She’s not as bad as she might appear. Though she can be cruel and heartless and her words seem sharp and aloof - she’s a deeply human creature. There’s a sense of morality about her that she abides by, it’s a way to make peace with everything she’s done in her life. She’s capable of love and fiercely loyal to those she cares about. ➤ She actually always wanted to be a mom, to do a better job than her mother did, but she realizes it’s not a possibility considering her line of work and the life she lives. One of the more heartbreaking moments in her life was realizing her husband wanted nothing to do with children, and it was absolutely out of question. ➤ She has an addictive personality and seems to gravitate to all things bad for her, it explains a lot about her marriage and generally life. ➤ She actually fell in love with another assassin that worked for her husband back in Paris, probably because he was more like her than her husband was, more human and real. But unbeknownst to her, her husband had him killed and covered up so to this day she blames herself for his death, thinking she should’ve been there to have his back because they were partners in the field. Little does she know there’s nothing she could’ve done if her husband wanted him gone. ➤ She likes dealing art in the black market when she’s not out there killing people. It’s an appreciation her father had instilled in her when she was a child, and later on something her husband showed her could be a job. She’s been involved in both art theft and forgery of paintings since painting is something she’s been skilled at since she was a kid. ➤ She keeps her true identity a secret, partly because she doesn’t want anyone coming after her, but mostly because it’s a painful chapter of her life that she prefers to forget. She considers her pain and humanity a great weakness and is very careful about who she lets in on it. ➤ She’s fiercely protective of people in her gang, even if she doesn’t get along with them - doesn’t matter, they’re a family and you have to have have family’s back. But if she’s on really good terms with you, you’ll see a softer side to her, there’s a lot of maternal instinct in there and she tends to care a lot (if and when she allows herself that) ➤ She speaks Russian, French and English fluently but for the sake of appearing genuine she dons a faint French accent and throws in a ‘mon cheri’ here and there for good measure. She speaks English just fine though, bitch’s just acting and being extraTM. ➤ Also very flirty and can be domineering, I mean what did you expect hahaha

Also connections! i’m going to post a wanted connections page soon but feel free to contact me anyway, like she needs it all from proteges, to friends, to enemies, to fwb just ALL of it, she’s a wild woman

#suicide tw #crimson.intro #it's... very long #ok but i bolded things in her history that matter so y'all don't have to bother with my ramblings

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tateblog · 6 years

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How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?/ How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?/ What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?/ What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?/ How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

001. TATE MIRRORS HIS FATHER’S APPROACH to his family , he’s highly apathetic towards the man . as a child , i suspect he accepted Hugo and ( dare i say ) loved him , maybe blindly and to an oblivious fault . but like most psychopathic children , he was frighteningly aware of the dysfunctions around the house ; between his parents and the unusual level of neglect toward himself and his siblings . this was “normal” to him . the Langdons didn’t have a happy marriage . perhaps they tried , to keep appearances , to force things to work , but Hugo was unfaithful and an alcoholic . mind you , incredibly functional , as they lead a very comfortable life . Hugo was a successful car salesman , and married Constance when she was very young . though Tate remained unaware of what had really happened to his father ( murdered by Constance ) , he knew something was wrong . posthumously , Tate didn’t get to see Hugo around the house as a ghost , mostly because Hugo is not aware he is dead , and shortly after his “disappearance” Constance couldn’t manage the bills and she , with her children , had to move out . Tate , for a long time , held a grudge against Constance for driving his father away , perhaps imagining things would be different had they lived with his father instead ( or so he told himself ) . begrudgingly , he moved on from the abandonment ( so he thinks ) . subconsciously , he keeps the image of his father at bay . as he grew older , Tate acquired mannerisms and gestures very reminiscent of his father . facial expressions , body language , speech patterns ( sometimes ) , all these things that have gotten a mixed reception from his mother . after Tate’s own death , in the house , knowing of the permanent residents already , he finally discovers what happened to the man . there’s a mix of anger and apathy in this ; anger towards Constance , for lying to him . apathy toward Hugo , as he doesn’t blame Constance for killing him . this is a small conflict he carries toward his parents , one which causes no ripples in him . as far as Hugo Langdon is concerned , Tate is completely unburdened . whether the shared savagery between the two is an inherited trait or not , is up to discussion .

002. TATE HAS MOMENTS WHEN HE KNOWS he is intellectually capable . he never had problems excelling in school , if he so desired . instead , he sought after average effort for average results . he’s smart , undoubtedly so . but he is also someone who needs to be constantly stimulated by whatever his attention is drawn to . this is why he spent much of his time at school in the library , instead of spending time with classmates or making friends or talking to girls ; none of that interested him in the very least . so he read and absorbed copious amounts of knowledge and information , some of it aiding his early demise . he doesn’t see himself as being “educated” at all , though he is well read and was capable of much more than he managed to accomplished in life . he died at seventeen , during his senior year of high school . in his mind , this makes him a drop-out . and in retrospect , something he contemplated in doing when the dark fantasies of killing his classmates came to be too much . Tate , occasionally , has moments of arrogance when thinks of himself highly and in askew proportion to how he really is . like with any other psychopath , this comes from having narcissistic tendencies and an irrationally inflated ego , despite the usual cold , objective , realistic view of himself . though he knows he’s not the brightest bulb in the shed ( if you will ) , there are moments when nothing will convince him otherwise .

003. DURING LIFE, TATE’S GREATEST DISILLUSION was the way society worked . both in little things and the larger picture . this started at home , with his mother . the boy started off well-mannered , polite , and far much “mature” for his age . he did not keep a messy room nor did he misbehave for the sake of doing so . despite this , he was , by all means strange and intense . unbeknownst to himself , he repelled kind gestures from his mother . a reaction to her obvious dotting and overzealous sheltering of the boy , in contrast to the mistreatment his siblings had either via psychological means , neglect or simply by physical abuse ( keeping a boy with special needs and disabilities , hidden and chained in a room is hardly good parenting ) . he then began to act out against his mother . in turn , the woman kept her position of correctness and virtue , “high and mighty” . from his perspective , he was able to see through this well-kept persona she projected to the world around them , including his siblings ; addie , his sister , who always loved and adored Constance despite the way she’d put her down with small comments . whether this was intentional or not , the boy saw no difference . when Larry and other men showed interest in the woman , Tate was nothing but appalled . how could he ( Larry ) not see the truth of her ? it was so obvious . this also happened in school . the boy was never able to care for the things his classmates did ; socializing , making friends , ignoring school and simply use their attendance to hang out with others . their behavior sometimes repelled him . but he kept quiet , to himself , away from them and their little in-school society he couldn’t see himself being a part of ( unable to connect , isolated , this had little to do with his classmates but rather something in the boy’s psyche – unbeknownst to him ) . he saw their interactions , friendships and love interests as meaningless and false . his mind could never understood how it was people connected , so effortlessly , with one another , as they so claimed , and still could be so brutally ruthless with each other . the idea of this only magnified itself with the events of the era ; brutal attacks on innocent people by supposedly well-doing citizens , mass riots standing up to acts of injustice . then , his brother is murdered by Larry , as per Constance’s wishes and instructions . the final straw . how could she , who claimed to love her children , have him do this ? nowadays , Tate’s disillusions are more to take note of ; his failure with Violet , his own premature death ( to an extent , he regrets it , though selfishly so ) , to name a few .

004. DURING LIFE, AS AFOREMENTIONED, TATE was highly disinterested in forming any type of relationships ; acquaintances , friendships , romantic relationships , none of them seemed important enough to make an effort and construct them . for a kid unable to connect to another human being on an emotional level , relationships and human connections seemed rather unimportant and disposable . he didn’t need people in his life to go through his days , he’d never needed them before and therefore he assumed he would never come to need them . this , of course , brought moments of unbearable isolation and loneliness . something he took with frustration ( even rage ) rather than sadness . when it came to girls , or being attracted to others , it was merely superficial ; not in terms of visual attraction but in lacking depth . posthumously , after he meets Violet , this changes . for the first time in his “life” ( or afterlife ) he saw the need to be liked by another . he was instantly captivated by the girl and did everything he could to become close to her . it was a whole new experience to him , a wakening . things he never thought he could feel , a level of excitement and childish joy to be in her company . to be equally wanted by her . yes , Violet was his first “love” . at least , in the way he is able to experience love . psychopaths , by their own nature , aren’t capable to experience this connection in the way most people can . infatuation , lust , obsession . and after their relationship “failed” ( via monstrous acts committed by him ) , he’s no longer sure love is real . when it comes to sex , however , he’s always been disturbingly blase . in life , as a child , he’d been highly aware of sex . this to an uncomfortable and inappropriate level . during his young adulthood , he experienced a rather “asexual phase” . though he experienced physical needs , like any other human being , he didn’t seek out sex with others . sex was nothing but a human function ; much like eating , sleeping or breathing . it was something humans did , with the sole difference that one could experience physical pleasure through it . something he could appreciate . by no means did his disinterest kept him from acting on his impulses . but his sexual experiences mean absolutely nothing . it was sex for the sake of sex . ( this changes when it comes to Violet , however , due to his “feelings” towards her . though sex is still merely a physical act , he knows it must have a new depth when it is between two people who love each other . whether he experiences anything differently simply because of his feelings toward Violet , it’s highly doubtful ) .

005. TATE’S FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND OVERALL corporal displays are incredibly animated . this is usually perceived as “quirky” , charming even . he is lively . but know that , sometimes , a lot of his gestures and body language is controlled . he transmits what he wants to say . he is careful and secretive . this control , however , has lessened with time . as a child he was far more uptight , discreet , and much less expressive , unless he purposely tried otherwise . as a teenager , during life , he’d occasionally allow himself to soften his demeanor . slowly learning to express other things rather than just discontent or anger . often displaying just enough to remain unnoticed . without much calculation , his eyes tell much more than he would like . his face as a whole is well versed in communicating whatever he needs it to . unfortunately , in moments of stress or high frustration , he can become much less contained . verbally and physically explosive . his gestures betray him with ease . and like with most people who experience a low levels of empathy , it’s difficult for Tate to express sympathy if it’s not rehearsed ( feeling bad for Ben after Vivien dies during childbirth ? not his best performance ) . because of this , mournful words may sound mechanical sometimes . empty . this is not without a reason . whatever Tate doesn’t experience himself , he can portray it because he is observant and knows what it looks like in other people . this is not abnormal to him , this is all he knows . there are certain things he does when absentminded or under stress ; biting his nails , pacing , fidgeting fingers . by “default” , his demeanor is relaxed and carefree . much like his conscience .

meme / character solidifying HERE !

#👻 ❝ ᵇᵉᵉˢʷᵃˣ ( meme )#👻 ❝ ʳᵃᵖᵉ ᵐᵉ ( inbox )#👻 ❝ ᶜˡᵉᵃⁿ ᵘᵖ ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ ˢʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵉˢ ( character study )#👻 ❝ ᵈᵒ ʳᵉ ᵐⁱ ( character development )#👻 ❝ ᵉⁿᵈˡᵉˢˢ ⁿᵃᵐᵉˡᵉˢˢ ( headcanon )#👻 ❝ ᵐʳ. ᵇᵘᵗᵗᵉʳʷᵒʳᵗʰ ( about tate )#icameasiam #👻 ❝ ᵃᵉʳᵒ ᶻᵉᵖᵖᵉˡⁱⁿ ( da mun tag )#👻 ❝ ᵇʳᵉᵉᵈ ( hugo langdon )#👻 ❝ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵐᵘˢᵗ ( constance langdon )

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anettamonachisa · 4 years

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Dear sugar,

when I was a little girl I was fond of everything that tasted sweet. Your presence was a moment of joy and satisfaction, a necessity, a reward. I loved you madly. Then something changed. I got confused, congested and stuck with my feelings for you. Large unwanted information and experiences accumulated and built a separation between us. I started to commonly assume that you, sugar, are primarily concerned with consumerism and materialism. That you work hand in hand with capitalism, that you divided continents, created political and racial conflicts, polemics about imports/exports, nurtured child labour and espoused immigration restrictions. I heard it many times: sugar = slaves, crops, theft, violence, exploitation, big business, Big Sugar, obesity, diabetes, death, blah, blah. Bewitched by language and gaslighted by the discourse of the Glycocene, I thought of you as stable object, as addictive additive to other things, as part of the dull matter that owns, manipulates and kills. I fixed you in a static space–time, seeing you as inert and calculable. I felt guilty. I had moments when I really hated you.

Boy, was I wrong! My perception of you was so shallow! You are so much more than what we ended up making of you. It’s disgusting how we vilified you. What a combination of oblivious, overweening, judgemental and numb we are! We refined you and then blamed you for so many things. We stripped you off your sacredness, raped your complexity and reduced you to a crystalline looking “pure” matter – now seen as a quick cheap fix, high on energy but devoid of any nutrients or substance. You might find these crystals they forced you into kitschy, and you’re right. Even your name, sugar, became a popular word having both treacly meanings and noxious connotations. For many you impersonate the mischievousness of matter. Some are dismayed by the ‘monstrous ways’ in which bodies like you are subverting expectations, resisting or reworking the meanings imposed upon them. Sadly, you have the reputation of being The Enemy. Yet, most people still can’t resist you. And I understand why. You’re ontologically unstable and teleologically disputable, but I adore you for being such a schizosubstance!

They often give you a bad rap, but what about you as polyethylene, the biodegradable plastic? Huh? Or that you sooth a burned tongue, keep flowers fresh, melt ice and snow (yes, it’s not only salt, you can do it even better), heal wounds, cure hiccups, prevent cheese from molding and remove odours? And if that’s not enough, what about you as breakable glass, artificial silk, medical implants, body and face scrub, hair gel, hair remover, grass stains remover, material for sculptures, yeasts, motor fuels, ethylene glycol, synthetic resins, acetone, and other acetate products? Your material promiscuity is so fertile, when I think of you I feel lost in the infinite.

I want to apologize for being so short sighted and for taking me so long to look properly at your sensual matter. No, you’re not mere matter, you are an event. Now I know you’re an expression of relational materialism at large. I accept the fact that you have multiple materialities and very specific temporalities and spatialities. You are endowed with agency. You participate lively in the articulation of all dynamic assemblages. Look at you, you’re everywhere! It’s miraculous how you appear from nowhere through the astounding process of photosynthesis. And then you’re making ‘things’, you’re a poietic agent for both life and non-life. Actually, ALL life depends on you and we just lurk at the margins of your being. Radical emergence is a feature of your reality. You, my friend, have a big role to play here. Whether it’s organs and organisms, policies and politics, spirit and spirits.

Now every time I think of you, I revere you as a gift coming from the deep space and deep time. I always had a bemusing feeling about you. And then, one day, I found it in a NASA press release: “First Detection of Sugars in Meteorites Gives Clues to Origin of Life”. You appeared in interstellar space and landed on prebiotic Earth. You have been here way before the beginning, allowing for life on Earth to start. You were one of the builders of the primordial molecule, the key component of the RNA world. Your particles travelled the entirety of space for aeons to reach my cells, and will continue to caress me till the end of my days. It’s not only love, or tenderness, or affection, it’s life itself, my life, that I found in your carbon, hydrogen and oxygen atoms. You’re such an harmonious assemblage of macronutrients! A revolution in evolution! It's easy to measure time using human lifespans, but peering down the billions of years of your history gives me vertigo. When I imagine you could be the key to abiogenesis, I feel like licking rocks. I have the sweet taste from your lips in my mouth. Oh, sugar, the whole Universe just gets sweeter when I think of you! You are so awesome you make me want to fly to the stars right now. You know why? You evoke such a possibility and a magic about looking to the Cosmos that I think, hell yes, it’s possible.

I know that you’re all about free play and dissolution, but I need you to be serious for a minute. My feelings for you are just so entirely intense and complicated, so laden with exaltation, sorrow, ecstasy, bliss and I need to tell you all this. You are that terrible relationship a girl goes back to again and again, no matter the ripping pain every time she does. I know you prefer to feed yeasts to the point of becoming infections and also inflammations or cancer tumours. I know you fuel plaque and bacteria causing tooth decay. I know you affect cognition, accelerate ageing, increase stress, and make me fat. But there is this fulfilment and the feeling of belonging. You stimulate me. My dopamine goes feral when I have you. I can’t resist you. I want to transcend your voluptuous matter. You have the capacity to feed me, to delude me, to modify me, to seduce me, to conquer me, to be me. It’s so difficult to see where you end and where I begin.

You want the truth? All are obsessed by you. They use both your presence and absence to talk about you every day. Regardless if you occur or not, you’re there! Mentioned and used as a slogan or topic or spell. You’re loved when you are and you’re great when you’re not. Creation through disintegration, presence through absence, fullness through emptiness—such paradoxes inspire your existence in the world. It’s so revolting how human-centered and gluttonous we are and then just pointing fingers towards you, holding you responsible for all the crap that happens to us: +kilograms, bad teeth, bad mood, bad economy and what not! To me you’re not “the white death”, “sweet poison”, “sweet killer”, “toxic”, “bad”. No, you’re alive, beautiful, you’re indispensable and I don’t want to live without you. You’re love’s digestible form. My muscles want you, my brain needs you, my nerves rely on you, my blood depends on you. I cannot always see you, but I know you’re there. My mind is the idea of your body.

The only thing I wish is we all take the trip on the side of The Unseen to discover you in your infrastructural and ultrastructural order, in your protomaterial and metamaterial existence. I hope such trip will generate a more subtle awareness of the entanglement of matter and an enhanced receptivity of the complicated web of dissonant connections between (you and all) bodies. You are productive, unpredictable, self-creative, active, you’re an excess force.

You’re giving me the sense that my appetite is primal. My heart, mind and body hold on you because you promise happiness and make me (feel) alive. I hope I don’t sound too corny for trying to see the world in a grain of sugar. But the sweet lust for life, I can only feel it with you.

I need you, and you never disappoint. And that, my friend, is why I love you.

Anetta

#sugar #loveletter #vibrantmatter #anettamonachisa #materiality #newmaterialism #nadaciamestabratislava #dearsugar

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spookyshake · 7 years

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I'm REALLY sorry I don't want to seem like a weird stalker or anything but I was looking through petpages and I really wanna know.... is the reason why Imawa looks the way he does because of the fireworks? What's his connection with the twins? (I assume they were the two little kids in the picture w/ young!Imawa) And what does the hissi inn keeper/cult leader do in terms of cult stuff? I really love your ocs and your art!

NO WORRIES!! I’m extremely flattered you’re interested in them, so thank you!(and honestly I’m quite a bit of a petpage stalker myself hahaha)

Brief answer: -Imawa and the Twins are siblings! Imawa is the eldest by a large margin.-The fireworks are more of a recurring visual symbol/theme than anything else-The Innkeeper uh…she and the cult are outwardly altruistic, BUT SHE DEVOURS PEOPLE……

Long answer: I actually have some concept art/material that I’m currently working on for them, so here’s a REALLY HUGE barely coherent dump of some details I’ve been mulling over. Things are subject to change as I go along and refine it, but the general ideas are here.(warning: heavy-ish stuff ahead…?):

[Imawa and the Twins]-They’re siblings!Imawa is older than them by about 10 years or so, and acted more as a caretaker/parental figure.-They’re a bit of a (perhaps overly) tragedy-wrought family.-From a remote farming village in the mountains of Shenkuu, their family was ostracized within the community on account of an ancient offense from generations ago.The offense, the crime, the taboo- whatever it was that occurred in the past was clearly no longer relevant in the present, but in such a sequestered society, it was simply convenient to have a scapegoat for ill happenings and misfortunes.Thus, the family lived under extremely poor conditions.-Scorned by the community and avoided like the plague by the villagers, the only thing they could rely on was each other; family was the most important thing.-The Twins were the lights in Imawa’s bleak life. He wanted nothing more than for them to have a better life, and often went out of his way to keep them entertained by crafting little trinkets and toys with whatever he could find.He’d probably do ANYTHING for them.(the general basis behind the Fireworks images/short script)-The Twins themselves were often perplexed by the odd rules they had to follow in order to stay out of trouble with the village, as they didn’t understand the nuance behind the shunning they experienced.They were blissfully unaware, and were mostly content to just spend time running around and playing in the mountains as kids do; but they were also very curious.-The family consisted of the 3 siblings, and their parents. -Was very close-knit despite their hardships, and maintained a meager but otherwise peaceful existence on the very outskirts of the village settlement.

[EXCEPT THINGS ALWAYS GET WORSE]-While the twins were still very young, their mother had succumbed to an otherwise curable illness; they weren’t able to get any medical attention due to the taboo placed upon them by the villagers.So she died a tragically preventable death :’ (-This was the true start of everything going down hill, though it wasn’t immediately apparent. -Their father fell into a deep depression after the loss of his wife, but he tried his hardest to keep going for the sake of the children. A listless and meek man, he always made it a point to warn the children to stay out of trouble with the villagers.-Imawa became extremely protective over the twins after the passing of their mother-He felt a great anger towards the cold-hearted villagers and a helplessness towards their situation. -(Around this time is when the past-firework image is placed chronologically)-(Some drastic(?) series of events happen that causes the 3 siblings to end up at an orphanage run by the Cult; still working the exact details of this part out)

-(The whole family is so miserably prone to misfortune, big or small, that I’m fairly certain there’s something more sinister going on in the background of the village, which I might expand on later from a different perspective)

[Imawa - Then and Now]-Originally a Grey Kacheek. -Weak of constitution, he couldn’t really help his father out much in the fields so he took to doing household chores and looking after his younger siblings.-KIND OF A ‘MOM’…..since their mother died while the twins were still very young, he sort of naturally took on this sort of role (perhaps unknowingly) to fill that void.

- (This quality remains at his core even in the present day. While generally unfriendly and distrustful of others, he really looks after those that are close to him (Paskur, Delivery Grundo) and hides surprisingly high domestic skills. Also kind of obsessive about keeping places tidy.)

-Was always very resourceful and mature for his age, and quick to learn.-Young Imawa initially hoped to take the Imperial Exam and get a governmental job at the capital, in order to improve the family’s living conditions and just get away from the poverty and scornful villagers. …Things didn’t really pan out in the end.

-While at the orphanage, he was scouted by some shady Virtupets officials for his unusual intelligence (the non-civilian, Dr.Sloth-associated Virtupets?)Desperate to grasp at any opportunity to help his siblings lead a more normal life, he took their offer to be trained and employed at the Space Station, on the condition that the Twins would be properly cared for at the orphanage through his salary.

-He failed to take into account how his absence would affect the young twins. -Shoyru Boy, too young to understand how their older brother was looking out for them, became increasingly distraught as he felt convinced that Imawa had all but abandoned them.This lead to his great fear and anxieties towards abandonment; family was always the most important thing, but what can you do when even family leaves you behind? Their mother, their father, and then Imawa- it was far too much for him to handle.-Kacheek Girl became inevitably chained to her twin as his keeper; while they’ve always been at each other’s side, it took on a much graver meaning as she was now his only mental support. She had to quickly take on a role of responsibility, though she kept holding onto a vague hope that Imawa would come back for them soon.

-While working for Virtupets, Imawa willingly elected to be mutated, as his frail body was starting to fail him– he couldn’t afford to die.-It was largely successful, and granted him a body with an enhanced metabolism and sensory processing. His previously failing eyesight became exponentially sharp and clear.BUT…. it also made him extremely sensitive to light and sound, and prone to crippling migraines.(He LITERALLY can’t quite see the fireworks the same way as he did before :( )-By taking this decision however, he became very afraid of returning to the Twins, and having them see how horrendously he’s changed. Kind of dug his own grave, in a way.-Convinces himself that he’s monstrous and hideously twisted at heart and his mutant appearance an apt reflection of that…..BUT he’s actually very much soft-hearted, with a rational perception of morality and common sense.….However, that doesn’t mean he won’t follow through with questionable or morally reprehensible orders.

[The Cult]-At the surface the cult appears as a sort of charity organization, and often runs food drives, charity events, volunteer programs, and other humanitarian (N…neopetarian??) efforts. -They have a pretty good reputation and nothing seems very suspect, save for the sometimes EXTREME sense of self-sacrifice the members seem to display.Maybe a bit TOO friendly, as well.- The Twins play a part in this by hosting charity concerts and personally helping out at events. The cult supports and organizes their idol activities, and the staff members consist almost entirely of cultists.The plan is to spread the influence of their ideology through mass-media (and in doing so, roping in new members)-The cult tends to target and appeal to those that are in bad situations and are prone to influence; the poor and displaced, youths with issues, those fraught with heavy worries and problems, individuals without a place to belong, etc. Sometimes you also have the types with savior complexes that need fulfilling, or just general do-gooders who are drawn to the idea of doing good for the community.-The cult provides a tightly-knit, supportive community structure bound by the idea that ‘Everyone can help each other if you give your selves willingly’

[What’s actually happening behind the scenes]-Hissi Innkeeper has a delusional belief that she’s a manifestation of the Thousand-Year Martyr, an obscure altruistic figure from a local legend whose story acts as the foundation for the cult’s ideology.-She idolizes the Martyr as her ideal of true beauty– Self-Sacrifice.In fact, she’s so enamored by the very idea of the Martyr that she’s come to believe that SHE /IS/ THE THOUSAND-YEAR MARTYR.She’s both a worshipper, AND the idol of worship itself.-In order to fully ‘become’ the Thousand-Year Martyr, she’s gone to excessive lengths to prolong her life and maintain her beauty– emulating the supposedly immortal figure.-Initially her methods were pretty benign.She dabbled in things like traditional medicines, cosmetics, charms and potions, weird diets, prayer and offerings, spells, etc.But when they didn’t have the effect she desired, she began dipping into more…questionable, occult practices.-More bluntly: She EATS people, under the belief that their flesh and blood will give her new life.-She’s one step away from becoming a real monster.

-While she truly believes in and endorses the cult’s main ideology of Self-Sacrifice, it also serves as a perfect ideology to condition her most devout followers into willingly offer up their flesh and blood.-The conditioning process usually starts off with smaller, secret gatherings that call for ritual offerings of blood, which gradually escalate as the devotees become entrapped in the mythos of the process.-Some of the funds that support the cult were gained by devotees who gave up their worldly possessions, as part of the gradual sacrifice process.-Not everyone in the cult is aware of the more sinister side; there are many peripheral followers that just attend the seminars and charity events, and don’t go much further than that.

[The Cult’s Structure, summarized]—Outer Layer—-Charity organization.-Ingrains members into the community through kind acts and philanthropy, and introduces them to the altruistic(?) ideology behind the cult.-Relatively benign, but often uses peer pressure as a tactic to indoctrinate new members.

—Middle Layer—-The actual ‘Cult’ level. A cult of personality combined with a mystery cult.-Cultists are initiated into the secret rituals and formally introduced to the ‘mythos’ behind the cult.-The Innkeeper/Cult Leader serves as a proxy and avatar to their idol of worship (Thousand-Year Martyr), and adds an occult/mystic element that asks for the cultists to offer up their blood in the name of the Martyr.-The Martyr itself is characterized to the cultists as a sort of conceptual being or divine force that exists within everyone– omniscient, benevolent, sympathetic, compassionate, forgiving, and able to bring about miracles….but requires the worshippers to first show their own ‘kindness’ in return.

-The cool bonus is that you get your very own pretty cultist garb, made from Hissi Innkeeper’s (shed) skin. WOW WHAT A DEAL!!

—Inner Layer–-Hissi Innkeeper’s personal circle.-If you’re here you’re either really high up in the ladder, or completely ready to be served up as dinner.Maybe both.

[Innkeeper and the Twins]-The Innkeeper considers the Twins to be like her very own children, and she dotes on them dearly.-She took in these unfortunate twins from the orphanage (sponsored by the Cult) during one of her visits, and she’s since raised them as her own and indoctrinated them into her cult.-….However, she’s not above using them for the purpose of the cult. They act as her close agents for monitoring and spreading the cult’s activities at a wider scale.-The Twins also participate in and sometimes lead the blood rituals.-While Shoyru Boy is completely loyal and unquestioning, Kacheek Girl holds a fear that one day they may be next on the platter.She can’t really run away or even confront the Innkeeper though, as she does feel a deep appreciation and obligation towards her for taking care of them. There’s also the fact that she couldn’t ever leave her brother behind and betray his trust….-A bit of a complicated ‘Hansel and Gretel’ sort of situation.

#[]asks #◆Concepts #★Imawa #★[Cultist 1]#★[Cultist 2]#★Yaochi #◎Cult #◀ Past

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leavemebetosleep · 7 years

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Lisi Harrison’s Monster High, A Book review.

Warning: this review contains major spoilers.

Where do I begin.

Monster High the book came out in 2010 with the franchise, but despite that I haven’t seen a review of it that was that much more in depth than whether it was appropriate for children, so why not I’ll do it. I might as well get something out of this experience.

The book series is interesting to me because it says a lot about Monster High’s early days; a lot of character concepts that wouldn’t show up in the main franchise until much later are here, as well as working names and early version of each character’s concept. After all Harrison had to get it from somewhere.

It also says a lot about how Mattel had NO idea what age bracket to whom to market this. Sure, obviously they wanted kids, hence a tie in cartoon, but I think they were afraid younger ones wouldn’t be interested and wanted to make sure they had something for the young teen audience as well. The result is a book that doesn’t have a good appeal for any audience except curious, hard core MH fans.

The book follows the stories of Melody Carver and Frankie Stein, each chapter changing point of view as the story progresses. If you’re interested enough in MH to read this, you know who Frankie is, but to describe Melody, she’s basically every self insert character you’ve ever come across in a fanfic. Except unlike with fanfic, which is just a fun hobby, Harrison is supposed to be a professional author and got paid to do this.

Melody’s story follows how she’s about to be a new student at Merston High, moving from California to New Salem, Oregon. She talks about how she doesn’t look like her parents, and when she was younger she used to be an excellent singer. Along with that we learn how prior to moving, she had had a rather large, ‘beak like’ nose she had her plastic surgeon father fix for her. However it didn’t fix her insecurities and she can’t seem to enjoy her new appearance; constantly second guessing if anyone who suddenly took interest in her was only there for her new appearance.

The way I’m writing about that fact right now makes it sound way more logical than the book does. In the book it sounds like when her wealthy surgeon dad gave her the new nose she wanted, and she didn’t have a reason to be a loner special snowflake anymore she had to find a new reason to distance herself from people.

She also gave up singing, the book claiming her asthma problems got so bad it became difficult, but she’s so whiny about it, it almost comes off like she gave up when it got too hard. Later in the book her sister even accuses her as having just given up on it because it would’ve actually made her a little interesting to have a hobby.

…Okay I might have paraphrased that. My point is, this plot point doesn’t really become relevant till book three to my understanding anyway so it’s whatever.

As earlier referenced, she has a sister named Candace, who is supposed to be more confident, popular, fun, and having more personalty than Melody. She also serves as something of a voice of reason for Melody when she’s not being annoying or cringy. But she’s mostly annoying. Speaking of her, we’re told Melody’s never had any friends but…her sister doesn’t count? I know a sister isn’t exactly the same, but it should lay some frame work for how these things work.

We find the two settling into their rooms when they spy their next door neighbor, and Melody sees a shirtless Jackson Jekyll out of her window watering the plants.

Melody and her sister thoroughly oggle him as he does this, Candace only writing him off when he turns and she decides he’s a bit too ‘nerdy’ for her tastes. It is at this point I REALLY felt like I was reading a fanfic because this is so on the nose for many self-insert stories I’ve read.

I’m not kidding when I say some parts of this book made me wonder if the author was a little attracted to him herself and living through her creation. There’s just such a subtle …skeeviness to the scene.

Later in the day the two sisters decide to walk around the neighborhood; Candace yelling things at hot guys she sees.

Finally they get near the park where they run into Jackson, who for his part comes off like he wanted to be alone, as he was trying to draw when he as interrupted by the girls. Despite this, and despite Candace’s awful attempt to make ‘curdy’ (supposed to be a combo of cute/nerdy but mostly making me think of spoiled milk) a word; he seems to warm up to an awkward Melody during the conversation and they exchange numbers.

At school we find out he never called her however, and despite her looking can’t seem to find him in the cafeteria. Of course with the way she makes fun of the kids with allergies, and refers to one kid ‘horse-face’; I’d say not calling her was dodging a bullet. For someone who claims to have been bullied so much you’d think she’d be a little less prone to doing the same to others.

Alas, Jackson does meet up with her long enough to explain he was sick.

Their time together doesn’t last long however, as Melody and Cleo DeNile knock into each other soon after. Cleo’s grapes fall off her tray, and she demands Melody give up hers, but she refuses. In revenge, Cleo kisses Jackson, which turns him into Holt, or should I say ‘DJ’, and causes him to leave with her.

…I had to take a moment at the image of Cleo kissing Jackson. It felt so wrong. The whole scene feels so surreal and is paced really badly.

It does however make a good opening to talk about how my favorite characters are handled in this.

Now, I do appreciate Jackson getting to be a main character in something, but he’s pretty much regulated to love interest.

He’s not too different from the Jackson of the other continuities to be fair, aside from him being described as artistic as I’ve mentioned, which is usually reserved for Holt. On the subject of Holt, he’s only here in spirit as instead we get ‘DJ’, who, while admittedly having a similar personality to Holt, is not a blue fire elemental. In fact he looks exactly like Jackson sans glasses, and….why is he a monster again?

Now, I don’t know, maybe this was the working concept Lisi was given and she had to run with it. Though I have trouble believing that, I mean the name sure, but Holt’s doll came out around 6 months, a year at most after this book, and these ghouls spend years in development, that says to me they would’ve known they wanted them to be two dolls with two different looks far enough in advance to let Lisi Harrison know.

However, it does open a very big shortcut for the author, so I’m suspicious this was her invention. Thing is, aside from not following the Robert Louis Stevenson novel, it takes away what makes him a monster.

The way he’s written here just makes him seem like a young man with DID who’s personality shifts are triggered when he gets too hot, and implying people with DID are monsters is not a good thing to say the very least.

The worst bit is, if she didn’t want Holt to be visibly monstrous he could’ve, like the original novel, looked human still, but with his own features. It would’ve been a fair compromise.

Anyway, Melody’s dislike of Cleo. It is this dislike that leads her to become friends with a girl named Bekka and her minion Haylee. Bekka is…an odd one. She’s that character who’s so obviously gonna be the villain you’re surprised she doesn’t have devil horns and a twirly mustache. She’s obsessed with her boyfriend Brent to the point it’s unhealthy. She makes it the biggest rule of the friendship contact she makes Melody sign.

Oh yes, there’s a contract in this. What is it with bad books an contracts, first 50 Shades now this. Wait, or did this come first? Whatever the case, we’re supposed to believe Melody is so inexperienced with people she doesn’t find this weird. This is where my comment about her sister comes up; who’s stated to have had lots of friends. Does Melody think her sister makes people sign contracts? Does she think Candace signs contracts?

It’s such a bizarre thing. I had to stop reading for a moment to ponder what I was doing with my life. I can’t even make fun of it because it’s already such a joke. Haylee even notarizes it, does Bekka expect this to be legally binding?

Sigh.

The first week of their friendship goes decently enough however, and we discover ‘Jackson’s’ fling with Cleo had ended now that Deuce Gorgon has returned. Cleo mocks Melody that she can ‘have the nerd back now’ as Melody sees Jackson coming down the hall, and to get back at both in one go kisses Deuce in front of everyone.

Cleo, though obviously hurt with tears in her eyes as Deuce kisses back semi eagerly, manages to not react too much, but Jackson, not knowing what was going on, destroys what what he was carrying. It turns out to be a gift for Melody, who now feels terrible.

There is so much wrong with all that. I feel so offended on Deuce’s behalf at this portrayal, and this scene is written so unnaturally awkward. And Melody apparently still likes Jackson? Why? As far as she’s knows all he’s been is a jerk to her? Ugh.

Later that night finds Melody moping around as she decides to stay home from a family outing (camping in the backyard) so she can stalk/be a peeping tom to Jackson. No really, he’s her neighbor and her sisters window can see into his room; so she literally grabs a bowl of popcorn with plans to spy all night.

This is….really creepy. Melody’s not the most likable to begin with, and this does not make me want to root for her.

She doesn’t get far with that as Jackson shows up, let in by her parents. They talk, Melody seeming happy she made him jealous kissing Deuce, but calling him out of making out with Cleo all week (a bit hypocritical there). Except he doesn’t remember any of what she’s talking about, and explains he has blackouts. This explanation seems to be enough for her to forgive him, and she questions nothing further.

They flirt a while until her insecurities come back up, and she makes him look at a picture her old nose as a test; except he can’t tell tell much difference and thinks she looks pretty both ways. She decides she wants to kiss him then, but they’re interrupted when Melody’s mom yells that she saw a wolf.

They hang out again later with Bekka and Haylee, and Bekka complains about Frankie supposedly flirting with Brett, who finally shows up with Heath Burns, who is not related to Jackson in this universe.

They’re apparently filming a monster movie, but Jackson gets too hot and leaves to go inside. Melody follows and this leads to their first kiss.

Unfortunately for Melody, this turns him into DJ, who is very confused and mistakes the situation for quick hook up. His strange and rude behavior leads her to kick him out.

It also is what makes her decide to ask Deuce to the dance instead when she hears Cleo isn’t going, to which he agrees. A clueless Jackson later comes by to ask her, but she’s still understandably pretty mad from before. They go back and forth until he turns into DJ again, who finally explains to her who he is and vaguely mentions the whole Jekyll/Hyde thing.

Melody records his transformation on her phone and shows it to Jackson when he comes back, which causes him to rush off.

She manages to find him, and it turns out he went to confront his mother about it. Here we get some exposition about great grandpa Henry’s potion, how the trait got ingrained into his DNA, how the split personality drove Jackson’s father insane (as in the book it comes from his side instead of his mother’s, while she is only a human, hence no fire elemental traits), the fact Jackson’s father is in a mental hospital, and how Jackson’s transformations only started recently.

It’s this last bit I have to admit is probably better than the way the main universe went about things. Sorry, but Jackson not knowing he had a second personality until teenager-hood when it’s been happening from birth makes no sense.

After this is the dance, but I’ll get back to that, now let’s switch to Frankie’s half of this book.

I like Frankie here. Sort of, sometimes she gets a little too into the teen girl stereotypes, but overall she’s not actually written too far off from how Frankie was written it the early days of the show. That’s kind of a problem here tho, because the world she’s been placed in doesn’t match her.

Many of the qualities the show celebrated about her, here mostly come back to bite her, to the point she feels like being herself is a terrible thing. I mostly feel sad for her the whole book as I end up thinking about the show and how happy she is in that world. It gets bad enough that it was all I could remember about her parts after my initial read. I suppose it’s intentional by the author that we’re to feel bad for her, but it gets overdone at times. Maybe I’m just too much of a softie though.

Her story opens up with an admittedly nice prologue from her point of view about how she came to life; it reminds me of her SDCC diary in that way. She’s pretty endearing.

Her part of this story then skips forward to her waiting to recharge while listening to music, while Lisi Harrison tries to fit in as many brand names and celebrities as she can. Seriously, you cut out all the namedropping in the first two pages of this chapter and there’d be nothing there.

Not that the whole book hadn’t already been doing that, but my god is it annoying. Not to mention dates the book terribly.

Her dad comes by her room to have a talk to her, and Frankie at first worries she’s perhaps spent too much in redecorating her room considering all those mentioned brand names, but instead they explain that summer’s coming to a close.

This really doesn’t mean much to Frankie, but they explain they work at a local university and school with be starting again soon. Meaning they won’t be able to stay home with her. After some exposition about what normies are and why she isn’t one, they tell her they’re sending her to a school, which she becomes very excited about when she realizes it means meeting kids her own age.

Of course, it’s not that simple as they present her with the outfit the expect her to wear for her first day: a wool pantsuit and stage makeup. They attempt to explain to her that she’s a RAD, or Regular Attribute Dodger, or a monster as they’re known by normies.

Now the concept of monsters being real and living hidden in modern society is not a bad one. Probably why the reboot decided to use it. It’s just, as this scene goes on we’re we are given some …odd world building.

Like the reason humans hate monsters is….old monster movies. Okay, I understand media is a powerful thing, and it can completely shape people’s opinions about minorities, but usually media is a symptom of the problem, not the cause.

Not to mention did this really even need that explanation? You could’ve just went with the usual, human paranoia about vampires killing them for blood, being afraid of monster’s powers, ect; the media thing is a fine shout out to the classic movies, but being the sole cause of human’s turn against them?

Also, how would there be people who don’t believe monsters are real if this happened that recently? The film industry is not that old, people would know monsters exist if they apparently have them on film.

Frankie too finds her questioning this new world, as she’s not particularly thrilled about the idea of hiding her skin or wearing wool, and can’t wrap her head around the idea she needs to hide who she is.

So when the day comes she decides shes going to ignore her parents and wear the outfit of her choosing with no stage make up to hide the green. Of course her parents don’t approve, while Frankie argues that if other people don’t like her for who she is, that’s their problem not hers (which isn’t bad advice).

Still, they must press her to change as it’s dangerous, but she only goes as far as to cover her seams. Finally, her parents seem to relent and take her to school. Going outside for the first time is amazing to Frankie, and she’s very excited; though she admits she doesn’t know where she’s going or what she’s doing.

Of course the inevitable happens, she runs into another teen and they don’t react well to the sight of a girl with green skin. Frankie’s parents suddenly reappear and get her back into the car before any authority can arrive to see them.

Her father admits he was just trying to teach her a lesson that perhaps went too far. Frankie is in tears now, and some what bitterly agrees to wear to the make up and suit.

I have one major issue with this scene, and it’s when it’s revealed this is not her school, and in fact her school hasn’t started yet. This was all planned by her parents. So, her parents, suspecting she wouldn’t understand the danger, decided trying to scar her for life and nearly expose them in the process was better than trying to talk her through it some more? Like the way it’s written makes it seem like they only talked about it the once, and didn’t even go that in depth at how risky things are.

Like if this was a genuine last resort or something I could understand, but it feels more like a cop out on their part. She’s barely two weeks old, of course she’s not going to get it after one conversation when she’s never even been outside! And again, this was a huge risk to take for their whole secret society; I doubt other RADs would have approved.

Frankie now fearfully starts school for real, simply hoping no one notices her. Of course that doesn’t happen, as she quickly gets the attention of DJ Hyde, much to her annoyance. She zaps him by accident and he gives her the nick name ‘Firecracker’.

That’s right about when Draculaura aka ‘Lala’ makes her first appearance with Lagoona or ‘Blue’, who tries to help Lala with her makeup (as she wants to look good in front of DJ, which I admit being reminded of that old plot made me a little nostalgic for early MH) and asks the heavily made up Frankie if she’d be alright with loaning them some eyeliner.

For the rest of class Frankie tries to ignore DJ and focus more on the boy she actually has a crush on, Brett. She likes him because he likes monsters, and seeing as he’s wearing a Frankenstein t-shirt, takes it as a sign he wouldn’t mind that she’s his granddaughter. Not to mention that now she knows there’s a girl who likes DJ, wouldn’t want to take him from her (an attitude you’ll find doesn’t last).

Also during class she becomes worried that Melody is onto her, not realizing the girl is really just another girl who wants to boy currently trying to get her attention.

After class Blue and Lala befriend her and invite her to go to the spa with them that weekend, to which she agrees.

Frankie heads off that weekend, meeting Cleo and Claudine (not ‘Clawdeen’), who don’t seem as keen on her as Blue and Lala after she makes an innocently insensitive comment. We find out Lala was a bit mad at Cleo for making out with DJ, but Cleo assures her it was just to make Melody mad, as DJ knows she’s taken. Speaking of Deuce, Cleo’s very upset over his kiss with Melody, and at this Ula decides to forgive her as she’s not into DJ anymore anyway (rendering that part of the plot completely pointless).

Finally they get there, and Frankie starts to feel more included as the girls explain how to go through the spa to her, and she talks about her crush on Brett. The girls make jokes about how difficult it’s gonna be to steal him from the infinitely jealous Bekka, and no one tells her not to chase a boy who is already taken. Considering Cleo was just recently upset at feeling cheated on, this feels hypocritical.

All the ghouls finally part to get their various treatments, each one hinting at their monster type.

Frankie decides on trying the tanning beds on the advice it reduces the appearance of scars. While there she relaxes, but gets distracted enough by a fantasy she accidentally sparks and blows a fuse.

She absolutely panics, making things worse, until smoke starts emitting form her seams. In all the confusion she manages to get dressed and runs out of there terrified. She’s crushed that she ruined everything, ignores her new friends calls, and walks home full of anxiety over how her parents will react. She finally breaks down crying when a passing car hits her with water.

She makes it home deciding not to tell her parents what happened, and they buy her fake story, getting her dried off.

Early the next morning her and her parents get called to a new emergency meeting of the local underground monster community. Not called for the spa incident (locals blamed it on the storm), but Frankie being sighted earlier.

At the meeting, Frankie learns which members of her town are RADs, and in turn tell the others as well. Along with their real names, monster types, there’s even some history on what parts of town were built by monsters.

Feeling safe to do so, Frankie fesses up to the power outage she caused, and to her relief they seem pretty understanding. All except Claudine, who wasn’t able to get her hair waxed and got tagged by PETA for ‘wearing fur’.

They all talk openly of their monster problems until Mrs. J (or Mrs. Jekyll) arrives to start the meeting sans her son. She warns them to be careful around normies, and Cleo can’t resist a jab in Deuce’s direction over Melody. Deuce apologizes, implying he’s already done this, and Cleo seems to be in the process of forgiving him, or at least content knowing he and Melody don’t actually want each other.

Mrs. J continues the meeting announcing the Merston High has chosen a monster theme for an upcoming school dance. Much of the crowd seems offended at that, but Frankie speaks up to say she finds the idea rather flattering, and maybe even a sign of a change in attitude.

She goes even further as to suggest they all use it as an opportunity to be able to go out in public with out disguises for a change. The other kids seem to like the idea in theory, but when put to a vote only Frankie and Billy Phadin (to Frankie’s gratitude) are in favor.

She’s bummed out at how afraid everyone is to try anything, and doesn’t join in saying the RADs slogan ‘Hide with Pride’.

It’s after this chapter we get a chapter from the point of view of Ghoulia which, while not unwelcome, feels out of nowhere. It’s also much more in line with the show, as she tries to talk her parents into letting her go to NekroCon so she can try and get her Deadfast No. 1.

I love this chapter, but the sudden references to the main-verse are very out of place in everything Harrison’s built up so far. Still, it’s Ghoulia’s first appearance so I can’t complain.

Back at school Frankie is amazed at how well Mrs. J manages to seem impartial, and how the only one who seems to have any visible monster pride is Brett.

Brett brings up monsters, Frankie joining in to the teacher’s dismay, but it’s all interrupted by a ‘monster drill’ (which involves using your chair as a shield in a very silly manor).

Brett shows interest in Frankie as she seems to like monsters as well, which encourages her. This goes even further when school announcements remind everyone about the dance, and Bret tells everyone he’s going as Frankenstein’s monster. Bekka chimes in she’s going as the bride to match, and Frankie wishes she could say they’re both going as her grandparents and the reals bride’s dress is at her house.

Mrs. J however was not amused by all the monster talk, and privately reminds Frankie she has to be discreet. However Frankie feels monster kind are never going to get anywhere if they don’t actually make any attempts to try, and the warning is lost on her.

This becomes very apparent to her parents at home as Frankie gets more and more frustrated, to the point she bitterly asks her parents why they didn’t just make her look human if she has to pretend to be one anyway.

…Which is actually a good point. They go on about how they didn’t because they’re proud of who they are and she should be too. That hiding is just for safety, but seriously if she’s going to have to hide her entire life they could’ve spared her a lot of agony to just make her look more human to begin with. I get what the author was going for but still.

The author could’ve just explained they didn’t have that ability instead, which might’ve been more in line with the metaphor.

The argument leads to them banning her from the dance entirely, and she admits her father might be right not to trust her, as she plans to go anyway.

Now to her credit, she does try to earn their permission by behaving, but it doesn’t sway them so it goes to plan B. She gets the other ghouls to join in with her (they’d been boycotting it originally), and using her bare skin and grandmother’s wedding dress as a costume arrives at the dance.

Meanwhile, Melody is also at the dance, lamenting Jackson has been avoiding her lately. She’s resisted the temptation to talk to anyone else about what she knows, and tried to distract herself with the event.

It doesn’t really work, and she runs into Jackson at the punch bowl, dressed as Igor. ....Then we get this joke:

“What are you doing here?” Melody asked, relived.

“I thought you might wanna hump?” He pointed to the pillow stuffed up under the back of his sweater like a hunchback.

…What the heck did I just read. Did this book really need a bad sex joke? It’s so awkward even Melody starts to just walk away.

Yet, somehow this leads to them talking things out and making up. Then we cut back to the monster side of things:

Frankie runs into the similarly dressed Bekka who tries to insult her, and Billy gets another cameo. She’s thrilled with the positive attention her ‘costume’ is getting, particularly when she gets it from Brett.

Their talking leads to a kiss that ends with Frankie’s head popping off and Brett fainting.

Screams and confusion take over, but Billy helps her escape as the monsters make a run for it to get back home.

Meanwhile at the dance, as all the monsters are escaping, Jackson feels a transformation coming on and tries in vain to get Melody to leave. Melody however is distracted by an angry Bekka who wants vengeance against Frankie for kissing her boyfriend, demanding that Melody help her get it.

She can’t do both, and spends too much time trying to figure out what side to be on. Finally DJ appears and makes her decision for her, as he decides he wants to find where Firecracker is.

Bekka heads out too, leaving Melody with the threat of turning against her if she doesn’t help soon. Going off to stir up monster paranoia as best she can, and wanting to make sure to get an angry mob going so Frankie is found.

Melody still can’t seem to make up her mind on what to do, and asks her sister in vague terms what she thinks. Candace tells her she has to pick the side she thinks is right and not be a coward about it like she usually is.

Frankie wakes up at home and over hears the RAD parents having an angry, scared conversation over what’s going to happen, blaming Frankie’s parents for not controlling her behavior better. More than that, they talk about their fears of what will happen to their own children, laying more blame on Frankie for all that might happen to the point of demanding the Steins leave town. Frankie’s father kicks them out after that, but soon as their gone he and his wife can’t deny their own worries.

Frankie feels crushed under the weight of her guilt and lays on her bed crying. It gets bad enough she begins to wish either that she had never been made, or wouldn’t wake up next time she sleeps.

She does wake up after drifting off however, to find DJ having snuck in her room to her confusion (which is a bit of creeper move on his part). He seems concerned enough however, so she tells him about her problems. Telling him how stupid and reckless she feels, and how she ruined everyone’ lives.

DJ on the other hand thinks she did everyone a favor, and that RAD society needs someone like her around because they weren’t getting anywhere. He tells her he thinks she’s absolutely amazing, that she shouldn’t give up, and that he likes her. Likes the fact she goes for what she wants.

This scene is honestly adorable and so far the best scene out of the book. They way he builds her up, promises to help her and be there for her, and while obvious he has a crush, doesn’t pressure her about returning the feelings and just wants to see her be happy.

They get interrupted however, and by the time it’s safe again DJ has been replaced with Jackson; who doesn’t know who she is or where he is, and is looking for Melody. She upset and confused by his departure.

Melody shows up at the Jekyll residence and tells Mrs. J that she knows, but promises to be their secret keeper. She also plans to help find Jackson.

This is nearly ruined as after leaving she runs into Bekka and Haylee. Bekka reveals she found the recording of Jackson’s transformation on her phone and black mails her with it.

She gives Melody two days to find and hand over Frankie or she’ll show it to the police.

This villainous reveal is so over the top too, she actually makes Melody sign another agreement and pulls an egg timer out of her purse as she threatens her about the time limit. It’s hilarious.

Melody’s left there terrified she’s just messed things up big time when Jackson finds her.

She explains what happened, and he reveals he knows where Frankie is, but refuses to give her up to save himself. Not even for his own sake, but he knows DJ likes her. DJ would want her safe and he can’t betray his other half like that.

Melody thinks it’s very noble, but tricks him so he’ll turn into DJ, who leads her to Frankie.

Frankie is understandably not pleased to see her, and the scene gets a bit meta in the sense DJ and Frankie reflect my own feelings about Melody to an extent.

They do talk it out of course, Melody explains the Jekyll/Hyde thing to Frankie, and convinces Frankie that she’s just here to be an ally. Though I will say Melody saying she can relate to Frankie because she got teased for her big nose; while Frankie has to fear her family and friends getting killed because she’d undead makes Melodork come off very …White.

Then the book just kinda stops after that. I know it was meant to have sequels, but there’s no real resolution to anything. It’s just:

“We need a plan to fix this.” ”I agree”

The End.

Over all thoughts: one of the reason this review got so in depth is because, as I wrote the first draft I realized I couldn’t remember a lot of the book. As I found my self skimming the book, I kept finding whole scenes I had no memory of at all (which I’d end up throwing in). It’s super forgettable once you put it down, and the only things that make it memorable are the things that make it annoying.

Like the name dropping, I’ve talked about it before, but oh god the name dropping. On top of every character’s outfit having to be described in great detail it made me feel like I was reading a clothing catalog.

All the human OCs are poorly written, Bekka’s ridiculous and so over the top it’s hard to take her seriously, Haylee just exists to follow Bekka around, Brett’s a cheater (yeah, I’d rather have Frankie than Bekka too but he could’ve just broken up with her first), Candace is spoiled, and Melody is whiny and annoying.

Worse, this book is such a waste of what was a really cool concept, a more mature version of the MH-verse. There’s so many hints in here too of the better book we could’ve received, like Frankie’s prologue. Would it have been a better book if Lisi had just stuck to the monster characters? That I can’t say, as the ghouls characterization haven’t been safe from bad writing either, but none were as bad as any of the humans.

On the positive side, I can see why some people do like this book...sort of. It does try very hard to build it’s universe, and while some of it fails, some is actually pretty interesting. It can even be entertaining at points, albeit in a ‘so bad it’s good’ way.

I’ve almost hit 6,000 words though, so until I finish the next book this is where I end off. Thank you for making it this far, I hope you enjoyed my first ever book review.

#monster high #strangewritings #man heven't used that tag in ages #book review #I warn ya'll this is really long

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fangfucked-a · 5 years

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NAME: Angel Michael Graham. ALIAS: Francis Elijah Carter. NICKNAME: Frankie, Fran, Franny, asshole.

AGE: Twenty eight. BIRTHDAY: August 12th, 1990. ZODIAC: Leo. BIRTH PLACE: Charleston, South Carolina. CURRENT LOCATION: L.A, California. GENDER: Non-binary. PRONOUNS: He/him, they/them, she/her. Really does not give a shit, uses masculine pronouns because he presents very masculine and it's just easier for most people. SEXUALITY: Bisexual, biromantic. SPECIES: Vampire. POWERS: Enhanced senses ( though taste has completely shifted, blood has several different tastes depending on person, human foods taste like copper ), enhanced strength, compulsion ( mind control ), accelerated healing, limited immortality, supernatural detection to a certain degree. He can smell someone's not human or catch onto a specific scent through their blood if he's encountered their kind before, but he doesn't always know what someone is. CONS: Sunlight will cause him to burn if he's not wearing his cloaking ring though even with it on, he's sensitive to sunlight. Needs blood for survival, if he goes too long without it his body will begin to shut down; not so much to kill him but he won't be able to do anything until he gets blood. RELIGION: Christian. Raised with that faith and he still holds it very dear to him despite constantly going against what he believes in. OCCUPATION: Hitman, uses baker as a cover. LANGUAGES KNOWN: English and some Spanish. ACCENT: American. VOICE CLAIM: Dan Stevens, specifically his accent in The Ticket. FACE CLAIM: Joseph Gilgun, Dan Stevens. Just depends on who I'm in the mood to use tbh. EYE COLOR: Bright blue. HAIR COLOR: Naturally dirty blond, dyed his hair brown. It's fading so it's a bit of a mix between the two colors.. STYLE: Short, just kind of a mess. Flat and not styled. HEIGHT: 6'6". TATTOOS: Two solid black bands on his wrist, a twisted Cheshire cat that takes up most of his left leg, an arrow on his right arm, 'die with memories, not dreams' in typewriter font on his left forearm, a galaxy design on his left hand, the word FUCK on his right knuckles, a tree that takes up his back and under that tree is the name Alex in red cursive font. Never bring up the name to him. He pretty much has small random tattoos all over his body that would take me too long to list, almost anywhere you can think of has some sort of tattoo. PIERCINGS: A helix piercing on his left ear. SCARS: He has several scattered across his body from the years of constant abuse, however most are actually covered up by his tattoos. The only ones that are really noticeable anymore are one by his right eye that leads from the inner corner to the top of his cheek bone, one on his right hand that goes from his knuckles to the top of his wrist, and one going down his chest from the heart surgery he had as a child. It's mostly covered by his tree tattoo, but if you look close you can see a large scar of a cross shape on his back. CLOTHES: Surprisingly colorful. Wears a lot of skinny jeans, douchey tank tops, high tops that vary in colors. He tries to avoid wearing dark colors unless he's on a job, then he'll do whatever he can to remain unseen or unnoticed. DISTIGUISHING LOOKS: Tall figure, bright eyes, and his fangs are always out. LABEL: The dirtbag, the addict, the conard. POSITIVE TRAITS: Adaptable, fiercely loyal, loving, clever, a damn good survivor. NEGATIVE TRAITS: Impulsive, obsessive, egotistical, selfish, just an asshole tbh. GOALS: Really wants to kill Alex and give her a taste of even a little bit of what he endured through their relationship. Also to keep his family strong and knit together. FEARS: Alex, abandonment, failure, grief, and spiders. HOBBIES: Music is a huge factor in his life that he's trying to get back into and learn even more. Cooking is also a big hobby of his as well as his career, he enjoys video games from time to time, and he loves anything social. He just likes meeting and speaking to people. HABITS: Smokes heavily, bounces his leg, chews on his lip even though he can't retract his fangs. FAVORITE WEATHER: He loves the cold which is why he thrived in New York during the colder seasons, but now that he lives in California, it makes him want to Die(tm) FAVORITE MUSIC: Rap and pop tend to be his most listened to, but he can listen to most things! His favorite band is Mindless Self Indulgence. FAVORITE COLOR: Blue. FAVORITE MOVIES: He's not a movie person, he doesn't really watch them ever. He does however love Boondock Saints and will watch it continuously so he tends to watch action or romance if he does watch anything. FAVORITE SPORTS: Also not a sports person. He knows a bit about baseball, but that's mostly due to his brother's involvement back in school. PHYSICAL: None. He's very healthy despite not looking like it. MENTAL: ADHD that was diagnosed at eight. BPD and OCD were diagnosed at fifteen and seventeen. PTSD is undiagnosed. He really only has a handle on his ADHD but he's actively trying to better himself nowadays and get a better grip on his other disorders. ALLERGIES: None. SLEEPING HABITS: Doesn't sleep much. He doesn't need much anyway, but he also suffers from nightmares that will keep him up for hours after and spike his paranoia. So he tries to avoid sleeping as much as possible. EXERCISE HABITS: Occasionally goes for runs because it's good for him to clear his mind, but other than that not much exercising. His body won't change and he's already supernaturally strong so he doesn't see the point. EATING HABITS: When it comes to blood, he uses his hits as his main source for meals, but he'll also eat human food to keep up appearances. SOCIAL: Practically the definition of an extrovert. BODY: Has some muscle, but still pretty lean and doesn't look exactly healthy. ADDICTIONS: Nicotine. DRUG USE: Recovering heroin addict ( going on three years clean ) so he stays away from everything at this point. ALCOHOL: Recovering alcoholic ( one year clean ) so none anymore. MOTHER: Meghan Graham. FATHER: Nathaniel Taylor ( birth father ), Jacob Graham ( adoptive father ) SIBLINGS: A twin brother named Abel and a younger sister named Celestina, though he has no idea she exists since she was born after his disappearance. PETS: A tabby named Patches and an Egyptian Mau named Gamora. PARTNER: Faolán Mackenzie. wife. CHILDREN: Nova & Sirius Mackenzie.

Francis' backstory contains heavy mentions of abuse, murder, heroin addiction, and alcoholism.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

He wasn't always like this. So monstrous, so violent, so bloodthirsty. Nobody starts off as the villain of the story, sometimes they're made that way, and in Angel's case, that's exactly what happened. He starts off mild mannered, polite, a drive to do something great in the world, and an aspiration to fall in love. He witnessed the world through rose colored glasses, so when he meets what he sees as the perfect girl, it's easy to ignore the red flags about her. The snide comments, the little lies, the almost a little too possessive behavior --- he just shrugged it off because they're small compared to the good he sees in her. Alex gave him the love he desired, the attention he craved, and somehow always knew what to say to have him as putty in her hands. Never mind that she's older or that he has to keep her a secret from his family.

Eighteen and she forces him to move to New York with him. He wasn't sure why he said yes, but there was an overwhelming force that made him agree, so one night he packed up a bag and he was gone. Without a word to anyone. It's not long after the move that she begins to show her true colors, the violent tendencies, the controlling behavior ---- it was starting to scare him. His life became walking on eggshells, watching his every word and action around her, and he was starting to become numb to it all. She teaches him how to fight, claims it's because he should know self defense, but he's not sure if it's not just another excuse to hit him.

It gets worse with time. The physical violence was more often, but she had also shattered any resemblance of his self esteem. He was numb, apathetic, and living a life that revolved around her to try and save himself. He wanted to leave, call his family for help, anything ---- but he couldn't. There was that pull again, the one that made him do whatever she told him. The supposed love of his life had also become the scariest thing in it. He falls into bad habits, alcohol and drugs, anything to try and make things seem a little more bearable. If he was too numb then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much, maybe he wouldn't be so god damn scared, right? His life had become survival day in and day out, he wasn't alive anymore. She had drained him of anything he once had.

DEATH

Then the dreaded day came, four days after his birthday, just like when she took him away, she decides to end his life. He comes home from the bar and immediately she slams him up against the wall. He doesn't even register what she's saying, something about how she was waiting to do this for a long time, something about a game, and something about a weapon. She forces a metallic liquid down his throat and the one thing that properly processes is the pain he feels in his abdomen. The feeling of the knife twisting in his gut and the nightmare fueled grin across her face as he realizes what's happening. He was going to die and it was really going to be at the hand of her.

That's the day Angel Graham died, but it's not the end of his story.

BECOMING A MONSTER

He wakes up in a place he doesn't recognize, his hand chained to some rusty pipe. His head's pounding, teeth throbbing, and the tears couldn't be held back. The pain was unbearable, everything was so much louder than it was before, the light on his eyes made him want to tear them out, and the sudden hunger made him want to scream. He begged for mercy, death would have been kinder than whatever the hell he was feeling now. His path may have been lost at a young age, but he never imagined he deserved any of what he was experiencing. Alex shuts him up quickly, forcing more blood down his throat and covering his mouth with tape. He thinks he might be in hell, but then she explains what's happening. She changed him into something more than human, a vampire. A fucking vampire. It's terrifying, panic quickly sets in, but he realizes there's not much he can do but succumb to whatever she has planned.

The years leading up to his death had all been setting it up. Breaking him down to the point where he didn't know who he was without her, the dependency and loyalty to her despite her cruelness, the fighting training, it was all for her. She made him into her own sick little game. Pushing him to see how far she would go, making him into a weapon for her own amusement. The bloodshed follows quickly after his turn as she teaches him how to revel into the chaos. Any sense of his human self had begun to fade away. He was just everything she wanted him to be. A violent monster, one that would attack on command, one that would do anything to please her.

MOVING ON

After his twenty fourth birthday, he starts to come to terms with everything. He starts to finally see past the lies and manipulation, thoughts finally fighting against her commands. This wasn't the life he wanted to lead. The compulsion she had over him was gone, he was fucking tired of it and he didn't have to sit through the abuse anymore. So he packs up one night and leaves without a word, much like he had with his own family. He&'s not done with her, but he knows that the state he was in wasn't enough to go against her. She's older and much much stronger than him. He'd have to train more, make a goal to get even.

His powers and charm get him by for a while. It's difficult at first, he's homeless but it was better than staying with his abuser. He gets a new identity to hide himself so Francis Elijah Carter is created. He's not innocent by any means, his mind still corrupted and twisted by Alex, the violence is still a part of him now, the love for chaos. He wasn't ashamed of what he had become, he reveled in it, but he would be damned if he remained a victim. He uses his skills to start killing for cash, figures a good meal and some decent cash could get him by. He even gets clean and sober after he finds himself a new family, one that treats him a hell of a lot better than the relationship he had been in for the last few years. Life's not bad, he's made it his own again, but he knows he's coming for her head as soon as he gets the chance.

#❛ &. your name is cool josh? / out of character. ❜#u know same thing applies tho if this is too long for u i can give u a quick summary lmao

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