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wish4youff · 6 years

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Chapter 12: Progress

Kingston

I shouldn’t be here and honestly if Stephen ever found out, my credentials and rights would be stripped of me in the matter of seconds and the board wouldn’t give a second thought of following his plan of action. Half of my soul wouldn’t let me worry about the traces, but half of me knew better. Chrissie played nice, the attraction and love was still there, but it flakes because she knows how to master her emotions. Ironically.

Stepping inside, an automatic friendly smile met me. The blonde behind the brown desk nodded in a polite stance before grabbing the visitor sign in sheet.

“Your name, Sir?”

“Vitale. I’m here for Miss. Smith.”

A line of confusion touched her forehead before she started at the phone next to her computer. Quickly I showed her the fake confirmation notice from Chrissie. Of course, I wasn’t on no damn list. If I had went through the correct channels me and Chrissie wouldn’t be seeing eye to eye with one another today.

“It was done privately.” I said, taking away my phone. Dropping it in my pants pocket. I straighten my favorite black tie not once diverting my attention from her eyes. I screamed confidence and soon she stood, showing me the way to Chrissie’s office.

I understood the need to be careful of company in this facility. I’m sure there was a safe of cash or cash value somewhere in order for the company to stay afloat with helping the children they see here. Chrissie has always been the one to help one another, hence why we are even in this situation right now. Her heart was bigger than her body and as great as it may be, eventually Chrissie will break, and nothing will fix her beside God himself. I just hope it’s not because of me again.

“Ms. Smith, a Vitale is here to see you.”

I stood on the opposite side of the door my fingers rolling over the piece of plastic wrapper from my peppermint. I never heard anything in response but eventually my easier opponent stepped aside, allowing me to pass her in the process.

“Jay let me talk to my guest. Don’t leave this building.”

The young man before her, looked at me. His facial expression curious but never did he ask. Instead he rose, grabbing his bag before mumbling a low “Yes ma’am,” and allowing the door to close behind him.

Taking a seat, I dropped my keys on the desk in between us, my eyes strictly on her. I hadn’t spoken or seen her since the dinner we had. Quite frankly, it was becoming old. Ibrahim was on my ass every thirty minutes of reminders for this wedding and I knew it had to be the same for her with Vicky. The new three weeks we would be in each other presence and I wasn’t walking on egg shells. Dinner was great, but there was still something boiling.

Besides, Dr. Singh’s invitation was still on the table.

“I would ask how. But I’m afraid of the answer. So, I’ll just ask why?” She said, I was half surprised because I expected a fight, for her to say something along the lines, “Why the hell you in my office,” but I guess, this wasn’t the time.

“I want another shot.”

“At what, King? If we are being frank, you didn’t have a first.”

Shrugging, I thought about her response in depth. She was right. We never were supposed to be this in “situation” with one another. It was supposed to be simple. Something to carry over the time. Instead we inbreeded ourselves in one other and now we wondered why we can’t move on.

“First, I didn’t but more importantly I think I know how to help you. For once.”

“Does it involve you?”

Taken back by her question, I couldn’t do anything but stare at her. Wondering how I should answer her, but eventually I simply nodded my head

“I’m all ears I suppose.”

“For the past couple weeks, I’ve been seeing this counselor. I’ve told you this. What I haven’t mentioned is, I want you to see him too.”

“Well, excuse me.”

“Chrissie don’t do that.”

“No, Kingston. Don’t come tell me about some damn counselor. How about you leave me the hell alone again? I’ll be fine.”

“That’s the damn problem right now.” My voice on edge as I looked at her. She’s taking ten steps back because of one statement.

“Do you honestly think this is the best place? At my job?”

“Where else?”

Half of me knew it was a logical question. Chrissie knew me better, still I knew it was logical and was worth the fight of making my point.

“Tell me something, King. How did you find out where my job was?”

My silence defeated the both of us and soon her laughter filled my ears. Again, she knows this. It doesn’t take rocket science and even if, so she would fight until then end for an answer.

“So, it’s safe to say you know where I live. And even what kind of cars I own. You know my income and even whatever else I presume as private.”

“I just thought it’ll be better,”

“No, you didn’t.” She interrupted. Her hands clamped down on the desk before pushing away her body moving to stand in front of me. My eyes trailed the dress pants she wore, the hugging material giving me just enough to focus on and still lacking. Her button-down shirt was tucked in and when her frame stopped in front of me I noticed the matching scandal heels she wore.

“You want to help me. You want me to welcome you back in my life and honestly Kingston I’m tired of fighting you. I’m tired of saying no, because no, only fascinates your ass more,” I couldn’t help the grinning that flowed from me. The fighting enhanced it. Made it worth the chase. But like she said, it was too getting old.

“I’ll take the offer under one condition though.” Chrissie finally said.

“What?”

“You go with me to one of them.”

“On one condition.” I shot back. We would do this and do it my way or no way.

“I already agreed, King.”

“Agree to sex too.”

Huffing Chrissie walked to the other side of her desk but never sat. She wasn’t a bit confused, not even surprised. As if the thought as gone through her mind too.

A sexual relationship is the only concept we haven’t tackled and honestly, it’s what made us “single” all those years and not official. It’s the one thing that kept us going crazy yet so damn sane. Crossing that line was tricky especially back then. Now? Not so much. Sex will open the door. That way I don’t have to kick it down anymore. Chrissie is an emotional person and loves hard. Once we have taken it to the next level of this emotional roller coaster friendship, the opportunities for more will flow in. Naturally.

At least, that’s my plan and if it flops, I’m fucked.

“Kingston,”

“The fact you haven’t said no is going to dangerously defeat this argument you’re about to bring up.”

“Who said I’ll say no?”

Standing I unbutton the front of my jacket, shrugging a shoulder in partial response to her. “What’s the other option? Because you know what you want. It can’t be I don’t know.”

“Why now? I mean, I don’t know.”

“I’m here and I’ll be here until this wedding and case blow over. So, we’ll see each other and I’m sure of it,”

“Because you plan to stalk me?” Chrissie interrupted, her attention on me again.

“So, when we do. I don’t want to walk around on eggshells and I don’t need to. Nobody, nobody walking this planet knows as much as you do. Don’t play with it Chrissie, I’ll always watch you.”

“Because I know your secrets?”

“Because falling for you and trusting you with my secrets brought out a new emotion. One I can’t shake.”

Chrissie

Dr. Singh is one of the most peculiar men I’ve ever met, well maybe the second, yet still very curious to what was going on. What has “made me the way I am” as he says throughout the past two hours I’ve been here. Of course, with his title, his career, I expect him to be nothing less than wonder, this is what Kingston pays him for, but his curiosity has achieved another level since I first opened my mouth. Maybe it’s another way to let his patients know he actual care, either way, it put a piece of fear into me.

I didn’t know what to do when someone who I barely knew, shows so much interest into my pains.

“Do you ever visit your parents grave, Chrissie? I know that could help, you could at least get the chance to speak against your worries of life, even if it’s in the air. Letting it out, is the major help in that insist.”

Nodding, I knew this speech all too well. Olivia, even being a little girl when the tragic accident occurred, still tells me about visiting our parents grave from time to time. The first few times it happened I was away in college, and she was just entering high school, I didn’t know how to accept that. My aunts and Grandmother, from my mother’s side of the family, is the only reason my parents had a proper “going-away”; I couldn’t last for two hours into the process. Kingston even tells me about visiting his mother’s grave and while, I respect it, the thought of me going through with such an act is emotional.

“No, Dr. Singh, I actually keep away from Beth Olam, if I can. My parents didn’t have the most peaceful death if I may say so myself.”

“So, you don’t visit from memories?”

“Memories of me last seeing them, Dr. Singh. I was called out of school on the day, my aunt came to get me, and we went the hospital that they were transported to. My mother had suffered from some form of a burn on her face and there was a long cut from her neck,” Shaking my head, I sat back.

No.

“I don’t even like talking about them. How could I visit their graves?”

That and my childish fear of the dead. My parents knew, and my mother always joked that she knew I hated ghosts, so she’ll stay away from me when the time comes. Visiting their burials would be a different story in my mind nonetheless. I just know she wouldn’t be able to hold back and I’m not ready for neither.

“Talking about it is the only way it’ll help.”

“Does King talk about his mother?”

A surprised expression crossed Dr. Singh face before he mastered it. Typical act of a counselor.

“You know I can’t talk to you about Kingston.”

“That’s who set this up though, right?” I ejected, fighting this fight would get my mind back together.

“Kingston says he’s looking out for your best interest, and now that I know more about you, Chrissie, I understand why. We both want you to be happy and healthy. You’re leading yourself down a dark path. When was your last romantic relationship?”

Arching an eyebrow, I was back on my defenses. “You’re asking when the last time is I had sex?”

“Partially,”

“A year along, Doc. We were together for about seven months and I was honestly happy.”

I noted him writing that down and almost regretted saying anything when he opened his mouth again. “What happened, Chrissie?”

Here’s where I want to crawl under a rock and forget about even knowing Dr. Singh and go back a year ago when Kingston was nothing more than a distant memory, instead, I’m stuck and the man in front of me is casting me a look of impatience as I sit silently. The story behind this is long, yet so brief that there’s no need to even say it to someone who knows me well enough.

“I called out someone’s else name and he didn’t believe me when I told him it wasn’t nothing more than a thought.”

Dr. Singh didn’t need me to elaborate, he knew when it happened. And knew exactly who name I called out. We didn’t need to go into deep discussions about this. But I knew his questioning for today wasn’t up just yet.

“Tell me what caused this......quarrel between you and Kingston.”

Huffing, I didn’t know how to start, because I honestly didn’t know. It’s not a “quarrel” however, maybe an unpleasant predicament, but no quarrel because there was never a fight on my end and maybe that’s what Dr. Singh needs to know.

“You’ll have to talk to Kingston, Dr. Singh. I was on the blindside of things, I don’t know what occurred for this distance to take place,” I watched him sit up and he was ready to ask again how, but I stopped him this time. “One day my sister asked me the same question. What happened Chrissie? And Dr. Singh, I can’t pinpoint any reason, besides one. I know Kingston well, we spend two whole years together and two semesters together during my freshmen year. After freshmen year he and I both decided we’ll work something out and we quietly became each other’s support system. If I went home, I brought him. And even vice versa on the holidays his father would be on vacation. I learned that man in rapid timing, so fast, it’s scary almost. For that, I’m no good for him and Kingston knows this. We’re trouble for each other because once Kingston knows you’re on to him, he’ll never let you figure out his next move. You’re a threat to him and his need for control. Answer this, why did he stop seeking your help?”

Of course, no response. Good.

“Because the more you talk to a therapist, the more they know. You can’t know too much about Kingston Vitale and expect him to let it live. I survived it, but it’s damn sure hard. Because I want to help him, I do, but I can’t,”

“You have to help yourself first, Chrissie.”

“With what, my parents’ car accident that killed them?” I couldn’t shake the anger in my voice if I tried. “Not to sound, bitchy, but that shit happens every day. If everyone whose parents have died in car accidents sat around and became depressed and suicidal, who know how many people would’ve been dead by now? Kingston watched his mother take her own life.”

I watched his swallow hard, his hands tighten on the pen and pad in his possession. Yeah, I was going there.

“His mother didn’t just.... die. She killed herself, there’s a reason for it. His father couldn’t give two fucks for his wife if you paid him to. He saw something horrific and you’re both worried about me? Knowing Kingston, how I know him, he hasn’t dealt with that death yet. Maybe swept it under the rug. Forgot about it for the day, but it still hurts. Still has late night nightmares and is still terrified to walk into his father’s home, because that the same home his mother killed herself in. I’m moving on with my life find. I’m not your issue here, but if you let him figure out, you know that. Which you have, you’ll never see him again until God himself puts y’all back together.”

He found enough courage to speak after a few silent seconds, the words still low. Fuck, I had shaken the doctor up too. “You think that’s how you two found each other again?”

“Doc, don’t play yourself. God had nothing to do with this. Kingston is bad for me and we both know that, yet I like the game and wish for it sometimes. King just wants me to know he still remembers and we’ll see how it plays out this time for me.”

#J. Cole FF #whew #ohhh I'm scared of this #i don't even know if people are still reading #Lauren London FF

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eyez-ff-blog · 7 years

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○○ eyez | epilogue

The bedroom was spacious now that most of the things were gone from the shelves and walls—the closet was nearly empty, and the dressers were completely barren. The bed was vaguely dressed, and sitting at the end of the bed was a young woman with a head full of curls. With a phone pressed against her ear, she yawned slightly as she listened to the conversation on the phone. She ran her polished toes against the white carpet below her, and she chuckled softly as she licked over her lips.

“Girl, it’s already amazing up here. It’s gonna be everything when you get here,” The female’s voice on the other end insisted.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see you, Neisha. It’s been boring as hell down here since you went up there,” She said before she noticed the male coming in her doorway. “But I should be there soon. It’ll take us a couple days for all of us to get up there. Then I’m going to visit my uncle while I’m up North Carolina so it’ll be a minute before I actually get there,” She said.

“Bet. Well I’ll see you then?” The female named ‘Neisha’ said, and the girl nodded. “Be safe on the road, Niya.”

“I will,” She hung up her cell phone beore she glanced up at the young man. “What’s up, B?” She asked.

“They’re ready to go,” He said, and she nodded as she stood up slowly. “Wait…before we go, I got you somethin’,” His deep baritone filled the young woman’s ears, and she stopped moving before he took a step forward.

He pulled a box through his pocket, and he handed it to her before she raised her eyebrows, opening it slowly before she laughed softly. “Yo…is this real platinum or are you trying to fuck my skin up?” She asked.

“Shut up and put it on, Janiya,” He smirked before she pulled out the platinum charm bracelet. “I saved up a year’s worth of cash for this shit, so you better not lose it,” He warned.

“Nah, I won’t,” Janiya stared down at the charms on the bracelet, and smiled a bit before she reached over and hugged the male tightly. “Thank you, Braeden,” She mumbled.

“You’re welcome,” He said before he pulled away from her slowly. “Don’t be acting up in New York, a’ight? You know the streets is watchin’, and I don’t need no problems,” He warned.

“Shut up. I’m a good girl,” She chuckled a bit before she grabbed her duffle bag. “You just take care of mom and dad while I’m up there. And Brianna and J2—care for them too,” She said.

“I got you, sis. But for real…take care of yourself up there,” Braeden said, and she nodded before he grabbed her bag, and they headed out of the bedroom.

They headed downstairs of the familiar home, and once Janiya hit the last step, she glanced around the first floor before she took a deep breath.

The memories that flooded her mind seemed to hit her at full speed; from the cookouts in the summer that she spent with her family, to the nights she spent where her father would help her with her homework, to the first time her and her mother argued through her teenaged angst—it was all in the house. She remembered watching her younger brother grow, and the night her parents came home with her other two siblings. She remembered when they brought home a ‘girlfriend’ for Leo, and when the two had puppies. She remembered burying Leo in the backyard when age finally got to him, and she remembered raising one of the puppies as a ‘replacement.’ She remembered the first boyfriend she snuck in to hang with, the first sleepover, the first time she cooked in the kitchen with her mother, and the first time her father attempted to teach her how to make an instrumental beat. It was bittersweet—she wouldn’t be seeing this house for a while.

Janiya Cole had spent most of her life in this house, and now she felt like she was leaving a part of herself behind.

The young woman had just turned 18 in the spring that she graduated high school, and it had been a long road for her family. She didn’t realize the power of her parents until she was twelve years old—when her father Jermaine was honored at an awards show, and her mother Beija was given a humanitarian award from Harvard University. Ever since she had tried to find a way to balance being Janiya and being ‘J. Cole and Beija Cole’s daughter.’ Even with the stress that came with trying to pull herself from her parents’ shadow, she couldn’t have been more elated that her parents had contributed so much to the world. Janiya felt this sense of pride knowing what her family had accomplished.

Her father was considered a legend in the eyes of many rap fans, but to her he was just her father. Jermaine was a silent guy for the most part when it came to showing his personal business to the world but to his family, he was a goofball with wisdom beyond his years and the kindest eyes one could ever see. He’d give the shirt off his back for those he loved.

To the world, Beija was the ‘wonder woman’ of the music industry, finding and shaping the talents of music’s biggest names that had become staples of Janiya’s generation of music and music culture. She was a philanthropist and a highly-regarded advocate for women’s and civil rights. But to Janiya and her siblings, Beija was the soft as silk yet tough as nails matriarch who worked hard for everything she wanted and would burn the very earth she stood upon for her husband and children.

it was a trait that both parents shared, and what they taught their children with all their effort - family was always the most important thing in life.

Throughout her childhood, Janiya could remember every dance recital and every basketball practice Jermaine attended. She could remember all the times Beija sewed a ripped leotard, and every new pair of sneakers she bought to make sure her daughter had the best game going for her. She remembered all the tutoring they made sure she went through so she could be as smart as she was talented. She felt like she was only a fraction of the woman she was because of the love her parents showered her with. She was certain her siblings were just as blessed to have Beija and Jermaine in their lives.

The love she had with her siblings was just as strong; Braeden was the second born of the family and the two were as close as close could be. When Jermaine officially retired from rapping, he decided to open a business—he inherited the Demarco family restaurant and named it after Janiya’s late grandfather; it was then that they discovered Braeden’s singing skills. It was always said that he was basically his Uncle Rashaad reincarnate. He damn near looked like the man, acted like him, and had musical talent just like him. Jermaine always said that it was no coincidence that Braeden was born on the same day Rashaad was murdered and as Janiya grew older and learned more about her late uncle, she was starting to believe it as well. Her other two siblings had the luxury of being fraternal twins—Brianna and Jermaine Jr. were literally like two peas in a pod; wherever one was, the other wasn’t too far behind. Their bickering made it seem less and less likely that they’d stay close, but whenever one needed help, the other was always there for them. Janiya was the oldest and she took care of all of them the best she could.

“Niya?” Janiya looked over her shoulder at her mother, and she tilted her head as Beija smoothed out her flowing skirt. “You ready to go? Everyone’s outside,” She said. Beija had gained a bit of weight over the years, but she was exactly how Janiya saw her all the time: curvy with an afro of curls and a smile glimmering even within her brown eyes. Although Janiya adoped her father’s height and was a bit taller than her mother, Beija’s no-nonsense attitude always seemed to make it clear that she was a figure of authority.

“Yeah,” She said before she hoisted her bag on her shoulder, following her outside.

Once everyone was in the rented RV, the Cole Family were off towards their destination—New York City.

“Why you hogging all the food for? Stop being fat,” Brianna’s shrill voice sounded throughout the RV as she snatched the bag of chips from one of the boys’ hands. The female’s light brown eyes rolled before she plopped down on the couch, before she popped a ruffled potato chip into her mouth.

“You two can’t go a minute without acting up,” Janiya calmly commented as she flipped through the issue of Essence magazine, seeing the article on her younger ‘cousin,’ and her latest art exhibit that she had hosted with her father. She had to remind herself to call Uncle Cody to see how he was doing.

“It’s not my fault Junior is a bottomless pit. All he does is eat and be a burden,” Bri crossed her legs as she spoke, glaring at her twin brother.

“Wow. You sure you’re not some stray mama got off the street?” Junior sneered, and Janiya shook her head as she watched Bri toss a chip in his direction.

“Y’all better not be acting up back there,” Janiya chuckled softly to herself as she heard Jermaine’s voice from the front of the vehicle.

“That’s your son,” Bri complained.

“I will not miss these fights of yours,” Janiya mumbled to herself as she crossed her legs, scrolling through her phone before she heard Childish Gambino on the oldies station—she could hear Beija exclaim how this was her song and the RV soon rumbled with the bass of the song. Niya could remember the endless Saturday afternoons when “Redbone” was played through the house while the family cleaned. It was either Beija with the R&B oldies, or it was Jermaine playing old Nas and Big Daddy Kane.

That was the one perk of having parents that dabbled in the entertainment industry—even though he mostly worked with movies and music production now, Jermaine was known as one of the greatest rappers of his generation; he and Kendrick Lamar were Braeden’s favorites. As for Beija, she had been the A&R for many successful artists until she decided to go back to school to get her doctorate. Now, she taught others on how to be successful A&R’s and managers. The story was that they both worked for Dreamville Records when they met over 20 years previous, and it was one of the ironies that the label was still going strong. Her uncle Ibrahim was still hard at work as the head of one of the leading labels in the industry, and he promised his daughters and his nephew Braeden positions within the label once they finished college.

Janiya still wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life, and sometimes it troubled her. She was on the way to her father’s legacy college on a general studies major at the moment only because she was still unsure what she wanted to do. Braeden had made it clear that he was going in their father’s footsteps, Brianna was certain that she wanted to get into image branding and advertising, and Junior was convinced he’d be in the NBA. All the Cole kids seemed to be focused upon becoming something great and living along the same lines of excellence as their parents did before them. But as for the oldest Cole, she just was uncertain of what she would do. She was just grateful she made it to 18, and to college—she figured she’d figure out what she wanted to do with time.

After a day of listening to her siblings bicker and her parents reminisce of past days on the open road, the family stopped at a rest stop to get some rest for the night. They had been driving for most of the day, and they didn’t have too far to go once they woke up in the morning. They’d make a quick visit to Uncle Zachary’s house, then take on the rest of the way towards New York City. While the rest of the kids got their dinner and bedtime rituals in, Janiya was sitting on the steps of the RV, glancing up at the sky as she felt the sweeping August heat.

“Hey there,” Janiya glanced up and saw Beija standing over her. “Wanna go sit?” She nodded her head towards one of the nearby picnic tables, and Niya nodded before she stood up to her feet. She led the way towards the table, and she sat on top of it while Beija sat in the seat. The chirping of crickets surrounded the area as the stars twinkled above them. The slight smell of exhaust fumes seemed to almost mask the scent of pine, and now that the sun was gone a small breeze seemed to chill the air. “How are you feeling?” Beija asked.

“I don’t know,” Janiya scratched at her leg before she wrapped her arms around her knees, leaning over as she felt some of her curls fall in front of her face. “I guess the usual anxiety that comes with going to a new school. And I’ll be so many states away from the family,” She explained.

“I felt that way when I transferred to NYU,” Beija nodded as she sighed, glancing up towards her daughter. “I remember how afraid I was to move, and wondering if what I set out to do would even come to fruition,” She explained.

“At least you knew what you wanted to do. I have no idea,” Niya chuckled softly to herself before she sighed, glancing down at her shoes. “I feel so much pressure, ma. You and daddy set this real high bar and I don’t think I can reach it. I know I’m going to go through a whole semester of ‘Oh my God, you’re J. Cole’s daughter,’ and I just…I can’t even fathom trying to fit into you or dad’s shoes,” She revealed.

“Then don’t try. Be you, Janiya. You know J and I wouldn’t care what path you choose…as long as you’re happy and you’re living legally,” Beija placed a hand on Janiya’s knee. “You want me to tell you a story?”

“I’m not in the mood for one of your tour stories. I know all of ‘em anyway,” Janiya could tell the most likely edited version of the story of how her mother and father met, fell in love, and took over the world.

“Not that. It’s a story about you,” Beija replied, and Janiya raised her eyebrows slowly as she glanced at her mother, slightly more intrigued and willing to listen. “I never told you about the story of your birth,” Beija further explained.

“Oh…you haven’t,” Janiya hardly heard stories about her birth—she had always heard about Brae’s birth, or about the fact that Bri and Junior were born in the waiting room of the emergency room instead of an actual hospital room, but she hardly ever heard about the day she was born.

“I found out I was pregnant with you when I was living in New York. Jermaine and I had been with each other for a little while and well, I was terrified of course. My first child, and the way we got together still had me feeling a way about myself as a woman,” Beija began. “The whole pregnancy, I just wanted a healthy baby and to be a good mother to it. We moved to North Carolina, and we found out you were a girl…that same day, your father proposed to me,” She chuckled to herself, and Janiya smiled a bit. She could vaguely remember her parents’ wedding, but she was so young that she could only piece together memories through stories and photos. “But when you were born…your umbilical cord suffocated you. The doctor told me that you died for a couple of moments.”

“What?”

“Yes. And I…I was so heartbroken. I thought that I had failed you,” Beija had never disclosed this information to Janiya and not only was that surprising, but the strong and confident woman Janiya always knew seemed to be way more subdued in front of her now. “I was so depressed afterwards that I tried to end my own life,” She continued, and the turn in Niya’s stomach made her bite into the flesh of her bottom lip. “Looking back…that was the worst decision my depression ever made for me. You taught me a valuable lesson throughout my recovery, though. I learned how to fight through my demons because your love for me was greater than any hate I had for myself,” Beija looked up at Janiya before she reached up and gently rubbed her cheek. “That’s why I try to keep you from being discouraged about your life and where it’s going. You fought death and won…and so did I. I got to watch you blossom into the most beautiful woman I know, and I’m so happy that we’re both here,” Beija sighed before she looked down at her sandal-clad feet, sniffing slightly. “I’m sorry…emotions.”

Janiya didn’t say anything as she watched her mother try to pull herself together; she slowly moved off the table and sat on the seating area next to Beija before hugging her tightly. “I love you mom,” Niya said softly.

“And I love you always,” Beija leaned over and kissed her temple. “Go take your shower so you can get into bed.”

Janiya nodded slowly before she headed onto the RV. As she was getting on, Jermaine was getting off; she chuckled when he ruffled her curls, and Janiya glanced back as she watched the older man walk over to where Beija was sitting. He sat next to her, and the two of them embraced each other once he sat down. Janiya smiled softly to herself before she closed the door behind her.

The next morning, the Coles had a breakfast at a local pancake diner, and they got back onto the road. The rest of the way towards New York was pretty much a straightaway until they made a stop in North Carolina. Janiya got a chance to see the first home she ever lived in; her father gave an animated tour of the home, right down to where her nursery was. After making more stops to visit the kids’ uncle and paternal grandparents, the family drove to Fayetteville, which was only a few towns over; the kids got to finally see the now ‘historical’ 2014 Forest Hills Drive, and Janiya was given another new story for her memory bank; apparently, this was the spot that not only Jermaine started his dreams of becoming a rap star, but the day he realized he was in love with Beija. It was weird seeing her parents reminisce over something so odd, but she couldn’t ignore the sparkle in her mother’s eyes when she spoke of Jermaine’s kindness and care for her throughout that fateful summer that they worked with one another. Janiya had dated here and there; some were amicable break-ups, while others were full blown heartbreaks. But no matter what she felt about love, she knew that if it didn’t feel the way Beija looked when she laid eyes upon Jermaine, she didn’t want it.

The family parked the RV at her ‘uncle’ and ‘aunt’s’ house in New Jersey for the night—Ibrahim and Nicole were Jermaine’s oldest and dearest friends, and had been a vital part of all the kids’ lives from when they were young on up. Janiya had a squad of ‘uncles’ who served as proper godfathers; Abbas had always been seen as her ‘cool’ uncle, always knowing about the latest trends and electronics. When he and her aunt Lauren returned from their constant trips, Janiya could always expect a gift from him. Cody was definitely the ‘Hennessy Uncle,’ who was loud, vulgar, and funny as hell. Whenever he came down for the yearly ‘family reunion,’ he was always leaving Janiya in a fit of laughter. She wasn’t sure how auntie Yana dealt with him, but she was the only one who could subdue the man. Her uncle Damon and aunt Sara were mysterious and a bit more serious than the rest of the uncles and aunts, but they were kind-hearted and were whom Janiya talked to whenever her parents didn’t ‘get her.’ But out of all of them, she was the closest to her ‘Ibby;’ Ibrahim was her favorite, and she never ceased to make it known. It was a joy to see him and she was happy that he and Jermaine would be driving her and Beija to New York personally.

The next morning, Janiya parted with her siblings and hit the road with Ibrahim, Jermaine, and Beija—they’d be dropping Beija off at NYU first for her semester of teaching, then Janiya over at St. John’s.

“Man, remember when we first drove to New York, J? I remember you literally fogging up my windows trying to look up at everything,” Ib laughed softly as he drove into the city. Janiya chuckled a bit at her uncle’s jab, but she couldn’t help but to peer out the window herself.

“Shut up—I was amazed, shit. It was like nothing I had seen before. I knew right then this place was a long way from Fayetteville,” Jermaine replied.

“I can’t believe it,” Janiya mumbled to herself. “I’ve been all around the world because of you guys, but this…this is different.” She said. “Even though I’ve been here several times, it still feels different and new.”

“Oh yeah, it’s different indeed—wait until you’re paying $10 for a burger meal every other day,” Beija joked.

The four continued their conversations until they finally reached the apartment building that wasn’t too far from the New York University campus. “First stop,” Ibrahim parked the car before he got out to attend to Beija’s bags.

“Y’all get out and give me my love,” Janiya followed her mother’s instructions, and was embraced by Beija as soon as she could get out the car. “I love you so much, Niya! Call me if you need anything at all, I’m right across town you know,” She reminded.

“Of course,” Janiya nodded.

“And please don’t be afraid of the subway—the rats aren’t that bad if you don’t stare at them too long. And don’t let these cab drivers bully you,” She rambled.

“Yes ma’am. Now go,” Janiya chuckled before giving her mother one last hug.

Janiya watched as Beija approached Jermaine, and the two embraced before the man placed a kiss upon his wife’s forehead. “I’m proud of you,” He replied, and Janiya couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m proud of me too,” Beija said, and once she gave Ibrahim and hug and cheek kiss, she grabbed her bags before she headed towards the building.

“Alright, let’s get you to your spot,” Jermaine patted Janiya’s shoulder, and the remaining three returned to Ibrahim’s car.

The ride to St. John’s was quiet; Janiya didn’t mind the silence, however. She licked over her lips as she saw a bunch of kids walking along the sidewalks, heading towards their dorms. The whole weekend had been move-in day for those who were living in dormitories. Janiya had her things sent up to her dorm a couple days before she arrived, and all she had now was the two bags in Ib’s trunk. She’d have a week to unpack and organize, then she’d start her classes the following week. The thought of walking into a lecture hall seemed to make her nervous—she had to remember Beija’s words from a couple nights back, and she had to focus on the positives. She had made it to college; a lot of her friends didn’t. Some of them fell under the spell of the streets, others got babies, and some lost their lives along the way. Janiya had fought to be able to go to college, so getting through it would be her ultimate goal. She just hoped that by then, she’d know what to do next.

“Alright, all passengers off,” Ibrahim announced, and Janiya slid out of the backseat before Ibrahim grabbed her bags. “You need me to carry these, Niy?”

“If you want. Show me around a bit, guys. These are your stomping grounds,” She joked, and Jermaine chuckled as he adjusted his shirt.

“They were, baby. But it’s been a long while since I’ve even seen this place. God, it’s changed so much,” He grabbed Janiya’s hand, and the three of them walked through the parking lot towards Janiya’s dorm building.

They walked through the lobby and Janiya took the time to register herself and grab her building entry card before she headed up to her floor with her relatives. Once they got to her room, Ibrahim sat her bags on her bed. “Come here, girl. Give me a hug,” Ib embraced Janiya tightly, and she giggled as he rocked her from side to side. “I’m so fuckin’ proud of you, Niya. I mean it. If you need a day or two away from this shit, come down and see me and Nic. I’m sure Sabrina and Selina would be happy to see you too,” He said.

“I’ll keep that in mind! Thanks for the offer,” She smiled. “Thanks for driving me down here too. I love you Ibby.”

“I love you too, baby girl,” Ib kissed her temple before he patted her shoulders, pulling from her before he looked her over. He shook his head before flashing a small smile; it almost seemed like he was reminiscing about something. He glanced back at Jermaine and he nodded at the man. “I’ll be in the car,” He walked towards the door and before long, Jermaine and Janiya were alone in the single-spaced dorm.

Janiya glanced at her father and she took a moment to look him over—Jermaine had looked the same all her life. Aside from the elongated dreadlocks and the glasses he wore, he still looked like a lanky and tall figure. Signs of age shown in his features, from smile and frown lines to the crow’s feet that slightly creased the corners of his eyes. But his eyes still held that soft yet powerful stance that was able to make anyone trust his word. Some of his hair was grey as well, but Janiya Cole would always recognize her father. He cracked a smile, and his slightly crooked teeth only made her smile as well. “You look just like your mother. It’s insane,” He said.

Janiya chuckled softly before she crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh yeah?” She asked.

“Yeah. But you got my eyes…I can tell, now. Because you looked at me how she said I looked at her when we met. Like you were looking through me…” He paused before he rubbed at his beard. “This is so weird.”

“It is,” Janiya agreed before she looked down at her sneakers. “But hey…I’m a phone call away, you know that, right?” She asked.

“I know. It’s just…when you were born, I was the first one to hold you. Now I’m the one letting you go,”Janiya glanced up and she could see the light dim in his eyes—the sadness that filled them next was enough to make her eyes water. “I’m proud of you, Niya. You gotta know that.”

“I do. You tell me every day,” Janiya chuckled as she wiped away the stray tear that escaped her eyes. She was soon welcomed with Jermaine’s warm embrace. She laid her head on his chest, and she listened to the thumping of his heart.

“Remember when you were younger and you asked me why I didn’t wanna be ‘super famous’ anymore?” He asked, and Janiya burst into laughter.

“Yeah! I remember that, actually. You never gave me an answer either,” Janiya glanced up at her father as she spoke.

“This is the reason why. Imagine…I could still be rapping, and somewhere overseas giving a concert to tens of thousands. But I would have missed this. There’s so much I would have missed if I had kept going. You, Brae, Bri, Junior, your mama—you all are the lights of my life. Sure, I have awards, plaques, and lifelong fans, but you guys are the reason why I feel like I’m the greatest,” He explained. Janiya held onto Jermaine a little tighter, and the two quietly embraced for a moment. She could hear the soft sniffs from her father as he pulled away, and her eyes fluttered close when he placed a tender kiss to her forehead. “I left a gift in one of your clothing boxes. Take care of it,” He said, and he pulled away fully before he headed for the door.

“I love you daddy,” Niya spoke to him, and she watched Jermaine stop his movement.

He nodded before he reached for the doorknob. “I love you too. Always.”

He finally opened the door, shutting it behind him.

Janiya sghed softly before she began to unpack her clothes and began to put them away. She had gotten through three boxes before she found the gift Jermaine spoke of—on top of her folded clothes, there were two notebooks. One was worn and torn, and the other was brand new. She grabbed the notebooks and she sat on the bed before she opened the older notebook. She bit into her bottom lip as she ran her fingers over the page, and she gasped when she read over the familiar words. “Dad,” She croaked before tears brimmed her eyes, and she wiped them away before they could hit the page. She remembered reading through her mother’s favorite book—it was a book of poetry Jermaine did during his years in college. Despite Beija’s copy becoming a bit worn itself, she said that she had no idea what the original copy looked like or where it was. But now, Janiya had what she was sure to be the original copy. She sniffed before she grabbed the new notebook, and opened it to see the first page—‘I wrote what I saw. What do you see? Tell me,’ was written on the first page.

Janiya laughed to herself before she shook her head, closing the newer notebook. “Soon, daddy. I’ll tell you everything,” She said to herself.

She moved from the side of the bed to the head of it before she grabbed her music player. She put her earbuds in and turned on one of her playlists before she began to read through the poetry as she had done so many times before. Once she experienced college, maybe some of his poetry would start to make more sense. It would motivate her through her hard times and although she wasn’t able to see him all the time, Jermaine was always by her side in this manner. Soon enough, she hoped that she would be able to tell her own story of her life from this point forward and one day, she would tell Jermaine all about it.

#j cole fanfic #j cole fanfiction #j. cole ff #j. cole fanfic #j. cole fanfiction

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itgetsbetter-ff · 5 years

Text

Chapter 4- Deja Vu (Part 2)

Dominique

Sighing, looking at my hair, I was disappointed because it was already fading. I knew Momma was gonna be pissed cause she just got it done, but i didn’t think it was gonna fade this fast. But I didn’t want to ask to get it done again, cause I’m treading on thin ice.

Katie has called me a million times, since my last visit, and because I hadn’t answered the phone, she’s called my dad a million times to try to talk to me. But let’s be real, I’m not going back to that hell hole.

Things around the house, still are strange. Dad hasn’t really said anything to me. Dad and mom started talking again, and everyone still talks to me, except my lovely older sister. The doctor’s told me that I’m stressing too much, which could be bad for my baby. But again, let’s be real. How could I not stress. I’m 16, pregnant, and I don’t know who the father is. I’m praying it’s my ex-boyfriend’s baby. But if it isn’t it’s Angel’s boyfriend. She’d literally kill me if that was the case.

“Hello, Earth to Dominique.” Kaliea said laughing before hitting me with a pillow, in my face.

I frowned and threw it back at her. “That’s not funny!”

She sighed, “Well, bitch, listen to what I’m saying and i won’t have to throw it at you.

We were in my room at my house, hanging out. But I honestly forgot she was here. Listening to your own thoughts can be deadly sometimes.

“Okay, what were you saying?” I asked

She shrugged, “Nothing important. What were you thinking about?”

“My hair. It’s fading, and I know my mom is going to be pissed if I asked to get it done again.”

She rolled her eyes, “You act like your sister and cousin don’t own a hair salon.”

“You act like my sister likes me. Plus, I don’t get my hair done over there, and she’s pissed that my hair is pink, just like hers.”

“Everyone in the family gets their hair and nails done there. Angel’s salon is literally the best in LA.”

I sighed, “Trust me, I know.”

I’ve actually been wanting to go over there, but Angel is just- i don’t even know how to explain her. Sage does hair sometimes over there, but I’ve been to scared to ask anyone to even get a service done. YES, the owner is my sister, but I know she’d rather have me far away from her place of business.

I looked up when I saw Lea on the phone.

“What are you doing” I whispered.

“Getting you an appointment in Angel’s salon.” she whispered back

I hopped off my bed, trying to reach her but it was already too late.

“Hey Tay! Can you do me a favor and do one of my friends heads for me please?” She said into the phone

“20 mins? Great see you there.” Then she hung up the phone

“Zoey Kaliea Hernandez-Boudreaux!!”

“What, I got you your appointment.”

~~~~

Sitting in this man’s chair, had me nervous. Apparently, he does Lea’s hair all the time and they’re really cool. But I was a nervous wreck that my sister would walk in her at any minute. He tried to make conversation with me, but Lea told him I was shy, so he didn’t press it too much.

We were almost done, when I saw Sage walk through the front door. Lea was sitting at her station, next to Tay’s and I knew I was officially dead.

“Lea?” Sage questioned, and Lea just smiled back.

“I forgot, you would be Sage’s cousin too, if you were Angel’s” Tay spoke to her

Sage chuckled, “Then let me introduce to you, Angel’s sister, in your chair, Dominique. Hello Domi.”

“Hi Sage.” I whispered.

“Aw, Hell. Zoey Kahliea, I oughta whoop your ass! You’re trying to get her to kill us all.” Tay threatened Lea.

She just shrugged, “Look, am I afraid of her. Hell yeah, but Domi needed her hair done by the best. This salon is the best in the city! She shouldn’t be afraid to not come to her own sister’s salon because Angel doesn’t like her.”

I knew she was right, but I stayed silent.

Once Sage went in the back, and Lea followed her, Tay turned me around and looked directly at me.

“Is this going to be an issue?” He asked,

I shook my head, “Is it for you?”

He just rolled his eyes, “She my best friend, but she ain God. A customer is a customer.”

I nodded not really knowing what he meant, but okay.

“Look, I know that girl like the back of my hand. You just got to give her time.”

I was confused, “Time? Time for what?”

“To warm up to you, yeah, she’s been a bitch to you, your whole life. But she’s a teddy bear. She told me that she took you to the clinic, she was the first person that found out. Held you when you cried. That’s the Angelique Marie Boudreaux Cartier that I know. She’s an asshole, but she wouldn’t do anything to harm you and she wouldn’t let anyone else harm you”

I sat there and thought about what he said. I know she can be nice, but I never really imagined that she’d be nice to me. We literally fought all the time. I remember the ass-whoopin she gave me, when I wrecked her car once. Technically, I was driving Dad’s car, and crashed his car into hers. But still.

“Do I owe you anything for my hair?”

“Nope, all family members that we know, are allowed to get free services, that includes you. Ms. Dominique.”

I smiled at him, but that smile turned into a frown as soon as I heard her behind me.

“Why are you here?” She said walking past me and sat into Tay’s chair.

I didn’t really say anything, but Tay interrupted me.

“I touched up her hair, Why you got your sister going to these ugly ass people’s salons. Ruining her hair.” He accused her.

“I dont care. Im here to get this pink off me, cause of her anyways. Andrea did you pay?” She said with venom

“She did. Stop being nosey bitch,” He spoke up for me

She rolled her eyes, “Well, daddy outside anyways to get you and Kahliea. So you can leave.”

I nodded, “Bye Tay, thank you.”

“No Problem honey.”

“Andrea, why are you still here.” Angel said dismissively

“Bitch you too damn rude. That’s your sister.”

“Shut the hell up Deontay. Before I whoop your ass.” She laughed

I didn’t hear the rest of her conversation, because I had left to go to the car. I texted Lea to come outside.

I got in the backseat of the car. “Hi Daddy.”

“Hi Dominique.” He said super dry.

~~~

He barely spoke to me in the car to drive Lea home, and he didn’t speak to me on the way home. I finally spoke up when we got to the house.

“Are you going to forgive me?”

He turned around confused, “What?”

“Are you going to forgive me? You don’t call me princess anymore, you barely look at me. or even talk to me daddy. Are you going to forgive me?”

“Angelique it’s not-“

“I’M DOMINIQUE!” I screamed.

He sighed and rubbed his face. “I know exactly who you are, I’m tired Dominique. It’s not that I’m not forgiving you, I’m just really disappointed. I wanted more for your life than teenage pregnancy.”

“I know daddy, but you forgave mom.”

“I wasn’t mad at your mother because you got pregnant. I was mad that she constantly treats you like you’re fragile. You’re not fragile. You can not be coddled by Giselle. You can’t be coddled by anyone anymore.”

“I just- I know i messed up, but Daddy, I want you to talk to me. I already have Angel hating my guts, i cant have you hating me.”

“I don’t hate you. I love you to much. You and all of your brothers and sisters.”

I shrugged, “It doesn’t feel like that sometimes daddy.”

“I apologize for that Princess, I’ll try to do better.”

I smiled, “You called me Princess.”

He rolled his eyes, as he started to get out of the car, “Yeah whatever, get out of the car, so you can get dinner.”

I got out of the car and stood next to him “Daddy, my next doctor appointment is next week, will you come, with mom and I?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” He said hugging me and kissing my forehead.

I haven’t hugged my Dad since he found out I was pregnant, I missed him.

Rose

“ANDRE ISADORE KARTER JUNIOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I can’t belief this little boy. He has all of his shit just spawled around my damn house and I was sick of it.

“Yes Ma’am?” He called out

“Come downstairs please?”

I heard him stop his video game and come down the stairs. He looked exactly like his father and it was kind of sickening sometimes.

I started to point to his entire mess. “AJ, We’ve talked about this. The living room is not your room, there is no reason why all of your sporting gear should be all over the living room. I’m not cleaning it up.” I said trying not to strangle my child.

“But dad said-“ He started

“I DONT CARE WHAT YOUR FATHER SAID! CLEAN IT UP NOW!”

I wanted to pull my own hair out sometimes. Raising a 12 year old boy is exhausting, like I’m going to have to ask Olivia and Giselle how they did it, because I can’t.

“Yes ma’am.” He muttered and started to clean up the mess.

I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of white wine, its been more common now. I knew that I should get started on dinner but I honestly didn’t even want to cook.

“Hey what are you doing?” I heard Rack say.

“Mom said to clean the living room.” AJ mumbled.

“Go ahead upstairs, I’ll talk to your mom.”

I rolled my eyes and started to walk out the kitchen,

“No, you stay your ass right there and clean Andre.” I gave him an evil eye, which made him continue to clean.

“Rakim, can I see you in the kitchen please?”

Once he followed me in the kitchen, “Baby cmon. He’s a teenage boy, they do shit like that.” He shrugged dismissively

I scoffed, “Rakim, he needs to learn to pick up after himself. You’re not doing it and I for damn sure will not do that shit.”

“Rose, I think you’re overreacting.”

“STOP UNDERMINING ME WITH HIM!” I screamed, I honestly was tired of me being the bad guy and discipling AJ, and Rack coming in and being super fun dad. No, that is not how this shit works.

I guess he realized I was serious, once he saw my face.

He sighed, “I didn’t realize that it bothered you so much”

“Yeah, well it does. Constantly.”

He came over to me and put his arms around me, usually, I would melt at his touch, but lately he’s been feeling like a stranger.

“Gi and Liv invited us out to eat. You know just couples i guess.” He said.

“That’s fine. I guess, I’ll go get dressed.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having dinner with my family, usually always puts me in a fantastic ass mood. But today, it just wasn’t right.

First, the argument with Rack and AJ, then we get to the restaurant not only is my brother there, he’s there with his on/off side piece Callie, whom we all dislike. Then LOL Here comes Lizzie with Kamryn. I just couldn’t. Dinner was a disaster and then i asked Gi and Liv how to basically deal with Andre Jr and Rack gets a whole attitude with me.

Which leads us to right now, Arguing.

We’ve been arguing since we got in the car on the way home and that was 3 hours ago.

“Rosalie, see this is exactly what I’m talking about! You don’t listen to me, and you treat AJ and I like shit. What’s the matter!” He yelled

I didn’t answer. He looked at me like I was stupid.

“Hello!!”

“Andre, leave me alone.”

“No Rosalie!! Why are you like this to us! What did we do to you?!”

“BECAUSE I’M SICK OF HIM RACK AND I’M SICK OF YOU!!”

As soon as I said it, I regretted it. But I couldn’t take it back.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean Rosalie?” He said, very coldly.

“I - I dont know, I shouldn’t have said it.”

“No, you know exactly what the fuck you meant! Go ahead say it! I forced you to have a kid after our first baby died, and you didn’t want any more.!” He yelled in my face.

I didn’t say anything at first, but I needed him to say her name.

“Say her name Rakim.” I gritted.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He sighed.

“Say it!!! Nicole Azaiah Karter! Stop pretending she doesn’t exist!”

“She doesn’t Rosalie!! YOU HAVE ANDRE TO WORRY ABOUT NOT NICOLE! Nicole is dead! LET IT GO! Andre is LITERALLY UPSTAIRS! Stop pretending I forced you into fucking motherhood! YOU WANTED THIS JUST AS MUCH AS I DID!” He yelled back at me

“YOU DID! I didn’t want anymore children after Nicole died! I WAS DYING RAKIM, I had no choice BUT TO TERMINATE HER! We broke up, i realized I was being stupid because i loved you. We said nothing could tear us apart and that it was okay and we talked about it adopting and surrogacy but after awhile, I just accepted that a baby wasn’t for us. YOU forced me to look into surrogate after i told you no for YEARS! You forced me to be a mother! I DIDN’T WANT HIM ANDRE, I WANTED NICOLE! I WANT MY DAUGHTER BACK NOT YOUR SON!”

Again, as soon as I said it, I instantly regretted it.

“Get out.” He mumbled.

“What?” I was shocked

“I said, Get out.” He said clear as day, looking at me. If looks could kill, I would be 1,000 ft under.

I looked at the clock in the kitchen and it said 2:33 am.

“Rack, it’s almost 3 am!!”

“I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK! GET THE FUCK OUT! You resent me for having our son! You don’t love him, you don’t love me! so GET THE FUCK OUT!” He screamed at me.

I started crying, “THAT’S NOT TRUE I LOVE THE BOTH OF YOU!”

“Rosalie, I’m not gonna tell you again. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!” His voice boomed, that it literally scared me. He’s never talked to me this way before. Ever.

“Mom? Dad?” AJ called from upstairs

“Everything’s alright sweetie. Go back to bed.” I called out to him, trying to make sure that my voice didn’t shake.

“Dad?” He called out again.

“Listen to your mother AJ.” He called out never taking his eyes off me.

“Yes sir.” and he went back to his room, and we heard the door close.

“Rack, please. I need you to understand” I begged. He cut his eyes at me.

“By the time I wake up to take him to school, I want your ass gone. I’m not playing.”

He started to go up the stairs into our bedroom but I grabbed his arm.

“Rack!! Please!”

He snatched away from me and continued to walk upstairs

“Go to Hell Rosalie.”

I watched in awe, Andre has never spoken to me like this before,I saw him turn left and go into the guest room next to AJ’s room, and slammed the door.

I jumped and the tears immediately came, I covered my mouth and sobbed. Not to disturb my son, or even Andre. I collapsed to the floor crying, because I probably just single- handedly just broke up my family.

What the fuck did I just do?

Avery

Here I am, 44 years old, still doing the same shit I was when I was in my twenties. Partying, drinking, spending, and living my best life. But also getting my ass beat almost every other night by my long-time boyfriend, King, the most powerful drug dealer on the west coast.

I’ve done a lot of shit in my life, including, being a mistress and getting pregnant, leaving my son, being with an abusive man who is also married, getting pregnant 5 more times by him, and having those babies. King doesn’t claim the kids because then his wife would find out and then our whole lives would be taken away from us. I’ve had 2 still born babies due to my cocaine habits, one daughter Ameila, who is 12 taken away from me by the state, I currently have my 9 year old son August and my 2 year old daughter, Aria.

King takes care of me, and I take care of the kids, when I’m sober. But I take care of King most of the time. I don’t live in the best of areas, but it’ll do for now.

“Baby?” He calls out

“Bathroom,” I was covering up my black eye with makeup, and then I had plans on getting high as a fuckin kite

He came in and stood behind me, putting his hands on my hips and kissing my neck.

“How was your day, daddy?” I said provocatively

“Same bullshit. Wife problems.”

I rolled my eyes, but I made sure not to let him see that. I don’t need anymore pain.

“You gonna relieve my wife problems baby?” He spoke against my neck, giving me love bites.

I started to moan, because damn, that felt good.

“I’m trying to finish this daddy.” I moaned out.

“I said now” He growled, and one of his hands travelled down to rub my soaking wet pussy, I only had on a t-shirt so it gave him easy access.

“You’re always so wet for me. Who pussy is this?” He whispered in my ear

I threw my head back onto his shoulder moaning, opening my legs wider as he started to finger me. “Fuck, yours daddy!”

I was upset when he removed his hand and walked into the bedroom.

“Come ride this dick.” He ordered and took down his pants sitting on the edge of the bed.

I quickly followed because he doesn’t like to wait and threw my shirt off, exposing my naked body. Seeing his dick made me even hornier than before, I couldn’t wait to cum all over it.

I straddled him, and he entered me, we both moaned out. His taking my hips and guiding me, i used his shoulders for balance, as I bounced up and down.

“Fuck me, daddy, please!” I called out throwing my head back in pleasure. He put my tit in his mouth and started to suck on it, which sent me even higher.

“Ugh, your pussy feels so fuckin good. You dripping all over me!”

I was just about to cum, when someone started banging on my damn door.

“IGNORE IT!” He growled, and I was going to, King’s sex was better than cocaine and alcohol combined. When we were drunk, high and fucking, it’s out of this world.

I could tell he was getting frustrated, but I was trying to cum. So fuck the door. I kissed his lips and started down his neck.

“Cmon daddy, ignore the door, make me cum. I’m about to daddy. All over you” I moaned.

He groaned out loud, louder than before and I knew he was focused again. But then the somebody started pounding on the door. He got mad as fuck and threw me off and my ass hit the floor.

“Go answer the fuckin door.” He mumbled.

I nodded and picked up my shirt putting it on, running to the door, I was mad as fuck at whoever was at the door interrupting me having sex. August and Aria came out of their room.

“Go back in your room! You don’t want your father mad at you!” I scolded and pushed them in the room and closing the door.

“AVERY HURRY THE FUCK UP!!!” He screamed from the bedroom

I came to the door, just as the person was about to knock again,

“WHAT!” I screamed

But I immediately stopped. I saw the expensive clothes, the expensive shoes and purse. Long black hair.

This bitch hasn’t aged a fucking day.

“Olivia?” I choked out.

She looked at me up and down, and grimaced.

“We need to talk.”

Sage

I was on the phone with Marie and she was telling me what happened to Aiden with Dad. I was in shock. I mean I know that Aye’s mom was a touchy subject, but for my dad to make Aiden cry, I would have never guessed that.

“I’m gonna call him, to see how he is.” I said into the phone while ironing my clothes.

“Yeah I think that’s a good idea, he’s been staying in the penthouse in Malibu, and I take him food and bring him clothes.” Ree said

“Isn’t that a far commute from school to the house to the penthouse?” I questioned

“I mean, I guess but he’s my little brother. I’m always gonna look out for him. You know daddy pretty pissed at you too.”

I wasn’t surprised, but he hasn’t called an told me that, so I was indifferent.

“What the fuck did he expect me to do? Lie? Shit if I didn’t know mommy, I would’ve wanted to know her, even if she was crazy.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. You know he don’t like talking about it. I guess he thinks its gonna upset mommy. But you know she don’t give a damn.”

I laughed, “Right.But Ree how’s school?”

“Eh, Its okay.” She said dismissively

“Marie.” I warned, She completely ignored me and asked

“Have you talked to Angel?”

“No. Not since I saw her at the shop earlier this week. Why?”

She started laughing, “Nothing, she mad at Dominique again, like usual and she just being her crazy self. I went to get my hair pressed out yesterday and she vented to me about a lot honestly.”

“You know that heffa is crazy. She gets on my nerves though.” I laughed

“Sage, when you coming home?”

I laughed “Marie, I just left.”

“I know, but I miss you. Between Aiden and Maurice, plus daddy being mad at Aiden. It’s all driving me insane! I need my sister” She whined.

I sighed, think about why i wasn’t at home. “ I should be home soon, I have to handle and tie up a few things in NYC and I should be home in a few weeks.”

“Spa day when you come back?”

“Of course.”

~~~~~~~~~

Entering the courthouse, I got weird flashbacks and it honestly scared me. I hated talking about this and I hated being in New York. New York was supposed to be my solace after the hell I went through in LA, but NY made LA look like a piece of cake.

“Calling to the stands Ms. Sage Lavigne.” The prosecutor said.

I took the stand and promised under the oath. Blah blah blah. I was wiping my hands on my pants because they were sweating really bad under the pressure.

“Ms. Lavigne, why are you here today?”

I cleared my throat, “I am here to give my testimony, about what occurred when I was 17- 21.”

“How old are you now?” He asked.

“I am 25, about to turn 26 in a few months.”

“Okay, let the record show that Ms. Lavigne is the states witness and will be telling the situation from her perspective.” Then he nodded for me to go ahead and speak.

I cleared my throat, and took a shaky breath.

“When I was 14, I was in a relationship with my first love Aaron Cole. Everything was good at first, he was about 2 years older than me, and that’s what I found attractive about him. He was older, He had money and he was always nice to me. His little sister was my cousin’s best friend so I saw him all the time. Picking her up and dropping her off.”

I pushed my hair behind my ear, it was never easy for me to talk about Aaron. He caused me so much pain that I could never imagine.

“So, when I turned 15, everything changed. He became mean and argumentative. My 15th birthday was the day that he first hit me. I should’ve left that day, but he promised he would never do it again. But that was a lie, because he beat me almost every day after that for about 2 years. I hid it from my family and friends, because I loved him. I wanted to protect him”

I knew the tears started to fall, and I knew I was done for.

“So, on my 17th birthday, I told him that I got into college and that made him so mad. He thought that I had another year of high school left. He thought that I was going to leave him behind and that because I got into college and he didn’t go that I was better than him and so he constantly would demean me and he beat me so bad, that I almost died. My mom found me in my bathroom crying, bloody, bruised up and she rushed me to the hospital. This was when I found out that I was pregnant, as soon as I got better I ran away to New York. My parents didn’t know about the baby, no one did. I was too far along to get it aborted but I wasn’t showing either. My freshman year, I really didn’t go home, to hide my pregnancy and I gave birth by myself in the hospital.”

“That was the second hardest thing I had to do, because the first was putting her in the care of family members.”

The lawyer interrupted asking me a question: “ I thought you said your family don’t know about your daughter.”

I nodded, “My immediate family. My daughter is in the care of my step-grandfather’s side of the family. My intention was to always come back for her, but once her father was either in jail or dead. I couldn’t have him looking for her. But by the time I was 20, I fell in love again. I was dating this guy who I went to school with, his name was Chandler Burke, he was also a few years older than me”

“He had gone to jail before but he was getting his life together, and he was everything I was looking for in a man. We had been dating for a year, and everything was fine, until I told him about my daughter. Next thing you know, Aaron shows up at my apartment with Chandler and they beat me until, again I almost died. My neighbor found me on my doorsteps passed out and called 911. In the hospital, I suffered broken ribs, i had to get my jaw wired shut, and internal injuries. I also was notified, that I had suffered a miscarriage and that because the bleeding was so bad, it would be hard for me to have children without medical help or surrogacy. I was carrying Chandler’s child and him and Aaron beat me near to death again”

“They never knew my daughter’s name or where she lived, but they knew she was alive. But what I didn’t know was that Aaron sent Chandler to watch over me. Chandler’s real name was Antonio Cole. Aaron’s older Cousin. I didn’t know they were related.”

By this time, I was full on sobbing in court. Telling this story to anyone, hurts me every single time because they stole everything from me and it took a long time for me to even get the courage to tell anyone, let alone a room full of people and a judge.

“Ms. Lavigne, can you answer on more question?”

I nodded and he asked, “Why specifically are you here?”

I blew my nose and gathered my words, “I’m petitioning the court, to allow me to gain full rights of my daughter again.Her father is dead and his cousin is in jail. They cant harm her or be harmful to her anymore. I want her to come home with me, and my relatives aren’t willingly giving her back to me.”

“Could you explain?”

“I guess, since they’ve had her from the day she was born, they have grown attached to her. She calls me mommy and she knows exactly who I am. My relatives feel that I can’t provide for an 8 year old when I can. I have multiple successful businesses, I send my family child support because they were doing me a favor, a trust fund in her name, a house and a room that she can call her own. I just want my baby back. I want what I lost when I was 17.”

“What is your daughter’s name?”

“On her birth certificate it’s Dahlia Angelique Elise Boudreaux-Lavigne. But the court has her under Dahlia Angelique Elise Karter. But I call her either Dolly or Dahlia”

“That’s a long name for a child.” He joked.

I laughed, “My name is Sage Elise Boudreaux Lavigne. My first name is Sage Elise and Middle Boudreaux, and Last Lavigne. Sage is my father’s grandmother’s name and Elise is my mother’s mother’s name. Boudreaux is my mother’s maiden name and Lavigne is my father’s last name”

“My daughter’s name means everything. So Dahlia is a flower, one of my favorites actually. But in Arabic it means Olive branch. I took that as a play for my mother’s name Olivia, which means the same. Angelique is the name of the person I want to be her God mother, my best friend and Cousin. So her first name is Dahlia Angelique. Elise is her middle name and I made her last name hyphenated because all of my cousins carry the last name Boudreaux and then their father’s last name. I couldn’t name my daughter Cole because he is a monster that doesn’t deserve to know about her.”

“Anything else the court should know?”

I shook my head, “I just want my daughter back,”

39 notes · View notes

cryinggameff · 5 years

Text

Seventy-Five

Randi

Cameron’s crying woke me up early in the morning as usual. I started to get up but Cayden mumbled, "I got him," and got up from the bed. I looked over at the clock. It was 8am. Cayden would be leaving for work soon and I'd be going to drop Cam at my moms. I was trying to slowly get back to going to work, a couple of times a week anyways. Cayden worked a normal 9-5 schedule now, the ride share app he had invested in had blown up and now he was a cowener in a big time company which kept him busy. He really loved what he was doing which made me happy. I was co-owner of 2 salons now. After almost 2 years of back and forth, a second location was up. That required me putting in more regular hours though, which meant leaving Cameron. I felt guilty about working for months after He was born, but now a year later, Cayden and Ms. Williams,my therapist, both convinced me that working was good for me and that i wasn't evil for doing so. He was 1 now and I felt better about leaving him with someone else. I wasn’t breastfeeding anymore and he didn’t need 24/7 attention. But i couldn't deny being a mom came first on my list of priorities and consumed most of my time and thoughts, and i was fine with that.

"You going into the salon today?" Cayden asked, coming back in the room with Cam. I smiled reaching out for him. Seeing him in the morning was the best part of my day because after sleeping for a few hours I missed him. His face lit up when he saw me and he giggled, bringing out his cute dimples. When I looked at him I thought about the fact that I almost missed out on this because I was set on not having kids. I also thought about everything I went through to give birth to him and the fact that I’d do it all over again.

"Good morning mommy's baby," i cooed, nuzzling his face. "Yeah, i'm going in. I have so much to do for tax season," I said.

"My mom taking him this week?" he asked. I nodded. Our parents switched who would watch him. It was perfect because they all didn't work anymore. God knows i couldn't leave Cam with strangers. Cayden took his shirt off to go shower, revealing his perfect chest, well perfect except the gunshot wound under his right peck. He leaned down to kiss me and i met him. He kissed me for a long time and Cam started crying.

"You need to get ready, and i gotta get him some food," i said. We went separate ways and went about our morning routines.

At the door Cayden gave Cameron some last cuddles then handed him to me. He kissed my forehead.

"Imma see you tonight beautiful," he said. I smiled and nodded. I watched him get in his car and go. Then i had to get Cam and myself in my car and drove to Cay's mom's house. On the way there I thought about how normal life was now, Cayden going to work in the morning, to a legit job, m dropping of our kid, and going to work. Life was so different now.

I got to the salon later in the morning and went back to my office. I sat down and immediately checked my phone. It was habit now whenever someone else was watching Cam. I checked for texts or calls about him. When i saw nothing i reluctantly got my computer on and started pulling up my files. I worked for about 2 hours before i cracked and checked grabbed my phone to call Cay's mom. She didn't answer my call and i put my phone down angrily.

"He's fine Randi," i said to myself, turning back to my computer. The separation anxiety i felt with him was hard to explain. It was different than with Cayden. When he wasn't with me i got that feeling like when you think you're forgetting something really important, but constant. It was weird not hearing him cry or laugh for so long, it put me on edge. I wasn't sure how Cayden was able to just go to work like it was nothing.

Jada came in then.

"Hey, I put all those receipts on your desk, did you see them?" She asked.

"yeah," i said with a sigh. I glanced at my phone again.

"Whats up with you?" She asked.

"It's Cameron," i said.

"Why is he sick?" she asked with a frown.

"No. But Cayden's mom won't answer my calls. I just want a picture of him so i know he's ok," i said.

"She's probably busy watching him, it's a good thing she not on her phone," she said. She had a good point. "You worry too much," she said, leaving the office. I knew i worried too much, i didnt wanna be like this. It just came with the whole mom thing.

Later a knock came at my door and i looked up. It was a delivery guy.

"Mrs. Jones?" he asked.

"yeah, thats me,"i said. He gave me the clipboard and i signed it, looking around for the package.

"Package is out front," he said. I thanked him and went out to the front desk to check what is was. China turned to look at me.

"I hate you," she said. I was confused, then i saw the huge bouquet of flowers. I smiled like an idiot, jumping up and down a little. I picked up the card.

--->To my beautiful wife, because i can't stop thinking about you. Im sure you're thinking about Cam not me but that's ok. P.S he's fine, stop worrying. From: Cay and Cam

I teared up and held the card to my chest. I loved how thoughtful Cayden could be. That gave me the motivation i needed to get through the day.

I picked Cam up around 3 and made my way back home. Cole called me on my way saying that he was coming over. He beat me home and was waiting in the drive way when i got there. He helped me get Cam out of the car.

“My little man!” He said, taking him from his car seat.

“He just put on a show on the way home, cried the whole ride. He's so tired.” We went inside.

“You on your own?” He asked.

“Yeah, Cayden still at work.”

“Damn, he really taking this CEO shit serious. You can always leave him with me if you need a break,” he said.

“I’m seriously gonna take you up on that, but anyways, so bachelor party. I have everything set, just need to know what time you want the limo.”

“Like 10 probably. I plan on being drunk by then so it don’t really matter,” he chuckled, letting Cam play with his fingers.

“Ok. I still need an outfit, I’m always scared to be out dressed by the strippers,” I said. I was gonna be the only girl at the bachelor party, I wasn’t planning on staying too long anyways, I knew I’d be missing Cameron and I wanted to let Cole hang with his buddies.

"Aint that weird? Going to a strip club with your man?" He asked, putting Cam's pacifier back in his mouth.

"Not really. Im used to it," i said, "but he doesn't even go anymore. This will be the first time he's gone since Cam was born. But why are you going to a female strip club when you don't like girls is the real question?"

"Male strip clubs aint the same," he shrugged. "Only thing is i know Ty attracted to females so that's gonna be a bit weird." I went around the kitchen making something to eat for all of us. I started cutting stuff up for a salad and warming a bottle for Cameron. Cole came to sit at the island.

"Im sure he'll behave himself," i said. "He's marrying you, so clearly he's not checking for anyone else, male or female" i assured him. He nodded.

“Did you get nervous before your wedding?” He asked. I nodded.

“Hell yeah. You know i was a mess leading up to it. I had a panic attack day of too," i laughed remembering. "You getting nervous bout it?"

"A little," he shrugged. It was odd to see Cole unsure or worried about anything. He was always so care free, go with the flow type of guy.

"It'll go away once you see him on the day," i assured him. He nodded in agreement.

"One more week to go," he said.

Cayden

I was in meetings all day today which was tiring. Sometimes this job was more tiring than drug dealing, which i ever expected. I really liked doing something different though. When i thought about it, i kind of did the same thing when i was in charge of the warehouses, i handled all the business behind the dealing. Negotiated with cartels, contracted people, allocated supplies. That's pretty much what i did now, just not with drugs. I was really into the whole tech thing too, the dudes i worked with were crazy smart, inventing apps and shit.

After my meetings i went to my office to check my emails. I checked my phone too and saw the message from Randi thanking me for the flowers.

There was also a message from Keisha which I opened. It was a photo of her son after a basketball game. Yes, i had stayed in touch with her, because that was my nephew, and the circumstances didn’t change that. Randi was all for it and we’d even have him over sometimes. So I’d see him here and there and she kept me up to date on what he was doing. I chuckled a little at his big gap smile, he looked so much like Trey it scared me at times. The more I was getting to know him the more I saw Trey in him, and that made me feel like my brother was still here.

After replying some emails I finally made my way home. It was an hour past Cameron’s bed time which meant I wouldn’t get to hang with him before he slept. I walked around downstairs and when I didn’t see Randi I went upstairs. I could hear her in the nursery. I walked over quietly and stood by the door. Randi was bouncing Cameron in her arms while he was fussing. She was so small he took up her whole torso now and he was only 1.

“Shhh, Mommy’s got you Cam ” she said softly,rubbing his back in circles. He finally got quiet and she went to put him back in his crib. She turned on the rain machine for him because he loved that shit and couldn't sleep without it. She finally turned towards the door and she jumped when she saw me, putting her hand to her chest.

“Jesus Cay, how long you been standing there?”

“Not long, but I can watch you with him all day,” i said, going up to wrap my arms around her waist.Her hair was all messed up, coming out of the bun she had, and she was wearing sweats, but she still looked fine. I looked over her head to Cam in his crib. “I tried to get home before he went to sleep," i said. I had stayed at the office later than usual.

“You just missed him. He woke up from a bad dream,” she frowned.

“I know what you’re thinking. We didn’t give him bad dreams Ran, he’s a baby, probably just wanted some attention” i could read her mind. Randi had this theory that Cameron inherited bad dreams from us because sometimes he would wake up crying or screaming. We both had a history of bad dreams so maybe it was possible but I still assured her that wasn’t the case.

“You don’t know that,” she mumbled. I tugged a piece of her hair.

"Come on, you gonna wake him up," i said, pulling her out of the room. I dragged her into our room so i could change. "I talked to Ty today, the suit is ready. Can you pick it up tomorrow for me?"

"Yeah, i have to go pick up my dress anyways," she said. "I'm so excited, I can’t believe this is finally happening" she smiled, folding her legs.

"Im just surprised neither one of them backed out yet, i thought for sure Ty would have wigged out by now," i said, taking my shirt off.

"Cole is the one I was worried about. He came over earlier, he was freaking out a little," she said, grabbing my shirt and straightening it out. "But i told him that was normal. I was loosing my shit before our wedding, but if i made it down the aisle, he can."

"True. I deadass thought you weren't gonna show up to our wedding,"i laughed remembering.

"Thought about running, my dad dragged me out of that room though," she laughed as well.

"Your ass lucky i still married you after making a nigga self conscious and shit," i mumbled. It was easy trying to lock her down. She grabbed my arm.

"I been lucky since the night you drove me home from the club," she said, referring to the first time we met. I thought back to that night and where we were now. "Even though you didn't say one word to me that whole car ride."

"I was having a bad day," i chuckled, "it wasn't personal. And i showed up to your house the next day didn't i. And day after that, and pretty much everyday after."

"You were,” she nodded. I sat down beside her and pulled her in to me. “I think that’s why I liked you. You were consistent, and I needed that,” she said like she was deep in thought. “Who would have thought back then that we'd be married and have a kid together?"

"I thought so," i said with a loud laugh. She looked at me like i was crazy. "Dead ass. I knew after that first day, that was it, you was the one. I never just wanted to be around someone all the time before,” I played with her hair.

“Why do you say all the right things?” She said softly, looking back at me.

“I also say the wrong things sometimes,” I reminded her. “You was just mad at me yesterday.”

“That’s true,” she gave me a side eye remembering the petty argument we had gotten into. We didn’t really fight like that anymore. Having a kid together made other things seem irrelevant, and we had a different level of respect for each other now as his parents.

“You know what’s weird? Like a year ago we probably would have been sorting through duffle bags of coke right now,”I said randomly. She laughed.

“Yup, I’d be counting, estimating profits,” she shook her head, “that feels like a life time ago.”

“You was really ride or die for a nigga,” I said, “even when shit was hot,” I looked at the scar on my rib and thought about how she had taken care of me.

“I knew what I signed up for. It was hard for me after the shooting though, I can’t lie. After that day...I knew I was done. Then I got pregnant, and that just pushed me to say what had been in my mind for a long time, it was all about Cam from that moment on,” she played with my hand in hers. “Do you miss all that?”

“Nah. I was done with that part of my life. I was already starting my plan to get out before you told me, but that just made it that much more important to do it. I knew the life you wanted and I wanted to give it to you, and to our kid” I looked over her face. She nodded and we sat in silence for a little bit. After some time she looked down and put a hand to her stomach.

“Sometimes I miss having him inside of me,” she smiled. I raised a brow.

“Does that mean you ready for a second one?” I said excited, pulling her closer in to me.

“Hey don’t get excited. We talked about this, we said next year,” she reminded me, pushing me away.

“We gotta start now if we gonna get 5 out the way before we old,” I said. She leaned back and looked at me like i was insane. I tried to kiss her and she was trying to run away.

“Cayyyyy” she complained as I planted my lips on her neck.

Cole

***a week later***

Today was the day, and to say I was nervous was an understatement. I had never been this nervous to step out on the football field, or even when I came out to my family. This was different. I knew I wanted to be with Ty forever, but it was the idea of ‘marriage’ that made it all so fucking scary.

It was funny to me because this was all Ty’s idea. He had asked me to marry him. It had crossed my mind too but I wasn’t sure he wanted all that. I was happy to just be whatever we were. Living together was the main thing I had wanted and I got that.

Our families now loved each other and we were both in good places with them. My mom and I were the closest we had ever been, which I wouldn’t have expected 3 years ago after all the family drama. But this wedding was a big part of why we came together. She wanted to be there for me and was happy to see me happy. She was helping me tie my bow tie, and crying while doing it.

“I’m really happy for you Cole” she said, “I can tell Ty is in love with you, and it’s clear you love him.”

“I do,” I said.

“All I’ve ever wanted was this for you. I know it may not always have seemed like it. I just hate that we weren’t on good terms for so long,” she wiped a tear, “when you’re my only son. I know now that I was wrong,” she said.

“I was wrong too mama. I was so angry I couldn’t put my pride aside and fix things with you,” I admitted.

“Well, that’s all in the past now. The important thing is everything is how it should be now. Just me and my baby,” she said with a smile.

“I love you mama” I said, kissing her cheek.

“I love you too baby,” she patted my cheek. “There, you look handsome as ever. That Ty is so lucky he scored you.”

“You ready to walk me down the aisle?” I asked, holding my arm out. Both of our mothers were walking us down. Ty was supposed to go first and I knew he was already there and waiting for me. That made me excited. The music started playing then and my stomach flipped.

“That’s our cue,” my mom said, opened the doors to the ceremony room.

I could see Ty standing there on a suit, something I hadn’t seen since Cayden and Randi’s wedding, anxiously waiting. He was touching the cuffs on his shirt but then looked up and made eye contact with me. We both smiled and the nerves and anxiety melted away.

The reception was lit. We had a DJ and all our friends and family were on the dance floor. A slow song came on and Ty grabbed me to dance with him. I had been separated from him for a while talking to people.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” he said. I smirked.

“Awe you missed me?” I said. He rolled his eyes.

“Maybe,” He said.

“Well you bout to be stuck with me for a real long time now if that makes you feel any better.”

“I still can’t believe we’re married, that’s kind of lame,” he said, looking at the ring on his hand.

“Yeah but it’s cute. We still gonna be the same so,” i shrugged.

“Yeah, I’m glad we did it. For our families too,” he looked around at the people around us and I did the same. There was a lot of people happy to see us happy, and that touched both of us since not everyone was ok with our life style. I spotted Randi then, standing just off the dance floor holding Cameron on her hip. Cayden had his arm around her. I winked at her and she winked back. Both our lives had turned around in a matter of a couple years, and we were happier than ever. It made a nigga a bit emotional. I had been at her wedding and now she was at mine, that was some movie shit.

“I hope your winking at your mother, or else I’m throwing hands,” Ty said, following my gaze. “Oh it’s Randi.”

“You jealous?” I teased.

“Y’all petty niggas deserve each other,” he said, shrugging. “The friendship still confuses me though,” he said.

“Me too. But I just know she been there for me like nobody else, other than you. She was my family when I wasn’t on good terms with mine,” I explained.

“I get that,” he nodded.

“Now i have it all, my family,my friends, and you,” i smirked. He smiled back at me and pulled me in to kiss me.We kissed like it wasn’t a room full of people.

Randi

I was standing watching Cole and Ty be cute when my mom came and took Cam from me.

“You two go dance,” she said, nodding at the dance floor. Cayden took my hand and pulled me in that direction. He put his arms around my waist and I put mine over his shoulders.

“This reminds me of our first dance,” I said, grinning like a little kid. “I’m just missing the dress, and I have an extra 30 pounds on me now but other than that,” I laughed. He slipped his hands to my butt as if we weren’t in public.

“I like the way you look now,” he said, “you sexy as hell to me,” sliding his hands around to my hips, “Shit, i been thinking about taking that dress off all night,”

“Thank you Baby,” I said, “you make me feel sexy.” He really did, even when I was pregnant and blowing up, or now when my body was still not the way it used to be.

When we got home I wanted to take off my makeup and shower so Cay signed up to put Cameron to sleep. I took a quick shower and then went to peak in the nursery wondering what was taking him so long. Cayden was sitting in the rocking chair with Cameron in his lap and a book in his hands. I stood outside listening for a while and i laughed quietly at the voices he gave all the characters. Creating a human with someone changed the relationship forever. Yes i loved him even before i had his baby, but loving Cameron together on top of loving each other was a strange and powerful thing.Plus him being caring and protective was such a turn on and made me wanna give him 5 more kids. He was such a hands on dad too, which i knew he would be. When Cam was first born all I really did was breastfeed or pump, Cayden changed all the diapers, got him cleaned and dressed, and took him when I needed sleep. That’s the kind of husband and dad he was.

"Randi I know you eavesdropping" he said once he was finished the book.

"What?! how did you know?" I moved into view and then walked inside the room.

"I could hear your ass laughing," he said, "You just salty he likes my reading better."

"You are really good at story time," i smiled, sitting on his lap beside Cameron. I looked at his adorable face and took him in like i did several times a day in disbelief at how perfect he was. The best part was he now had freckles coming in slowly just like Cayden’s. I touched his cheek and then Cayden's, comparing.

"Why you not in bed?" Cayden asked.

"Well, I had to tell you something really important," i said seriously like i was gonna drop some big news. His brows came together in confusion.

"What?"

"I been wanting to say this for a while..." i said, dragging it out. "But i wasn't sure how."

"You can tell me anything," he said, rubbing my arm. I sighed then paused.

"Ok, here it goes," i said, "Cayden, i...love you" i grinned. He kissed his teeth and tried to push me off him. I laughed and grabbed on to his neck to stay on. "Babe!" i pleaded, fighting to stay on while he was pushing me.

"Why you waste my time like you was gonna say something important," he said annoyed. He was really mad. I giggled and cupped his cheek.

"Im sorry," i said. "But i really have been wanting to tell you how much i love you," i said. His face changed to a little less mad. “I know I don’t always show my appreciation for you, and I’m not good at the romantic stuff like you, but I just wanted you to know that i do thank God everyday for you. You keep me grounded, and you're my rock” I finished. His cheeks were pink which was so adorable. He hated being complimented and never knew how to respond. He closed the space between us and kissed me tenderly.

“I told you i always got you, and I love you too." Cam grabbed my shirt then and i smiled down at him and picked him up. I held him close to me and he immediately closed his eyes. I looked from him to Cayden, and then back at him and i felt everything I couldn’t years ago during the darkest period of my life. I was filled with hope, and joy, and a fierce love for life.

#Jhene Aiko #chris brown #jhene chilombo #jhene efuru #jhene aiko fanfic #jhene aiko fanfiction #New Chapter #chris brown fanfic #chris brown ff #team breezy #fanfiction #fandom #fan fiction #fanfic #fanfic update #celebs #celebrity fanfic #j cole fanfic #LGBTQ fiction

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collateralfiction · 6 years

Text

Adrian

A club has to be the easiest way you can make money without getting into legal trouble. So that’s exactly where I happened to be tonight. Instead of enjoying the multiple performances downstairs, I remained upstairs, overlooking the scene below me on the balcony. No one knew I owned Cabaretand I liked it like that way. It was better being discreet than everyone knowing your business when they don’t have a right to. The bottle of Hennessy I asked for about ten minutes ago was seen being carried by one of the waitresses and a few glasses as she came up the spiral staircase. “Here you go, Adrian,” she smiled. “I know you like your dark liquor so there’s another bottle coming your way shortly,” I grabbed the Hennessy bottle out of her hand before signaling that the glasses could be placed on the table somewhere. The bottle was entirely for me; I would need it.

A light tap on my shoulder brought me away from the scene being displayed before me. I leaned off the balcony and turned around to come face to face with an undeniable gorgeous woman. I took a quick sip of the strong liquor, not fazed by the taste at all. I’ve been drinking Hennessy since I was seventeen. From there, that was the only liquor I preferred to have over the thousands of types. Without looking to the side of me, I placed the glass bottle beside me on the table and went to grab the woman in front of me by her slender hips. “I’m surprised you’re here,” shemumbled against my lips. I went to peck her lips again before staring at her intently.

“Same here,” I said. But I had a few things to handle tonight which is the only reason I’m here now.

With a small smile on her face, she pursed her lips to say something. “Why haven’t you called me lately?” she wondered, locking her hands behind my neck. Elsa and I are what you can label as complicated. When one person knows what they want, and the other is too distracted to put enough energy into this situationship, it gets complicated. As far as I was concerned, we had an open relationship. Since I couldn’t fully commit to one girl, the best I could give Elsa was a relationship that was lax without too many restrictions. I fuck who I please while she remains loyal, attempting to change my view and finally commit. However, that forbidden fruit is just too tempting.

“I’ve been busy,” I said shortly. She was wearing this two-piece outfit; a tight pencil skirt and a crop top that showed off her tone stomach. My mind wandered over to lustful thoughts that could be done in the back but, if we were to do something that would simply lead to questioning and nagging that I simply wasn’t down for. Yes, technically we were a couple and I should act like it regardless but why should I when we don’t have a real commitment to each other? “You look great,” I said, pulling her closer towards me. I knew what was coming next before it even happened so to stop that from occurring, I spoke up and complimented her to ease her mind. I heard her sigh lightly before she rested her head in the crook of my neck.

“Are you cheating on me?” she questioned quickly.

I pushed her off of me and mugged her frame. “Elsa, if you came over here just to pick an argument, I’m not going to entertain you tonight by letting you have it. You know our situation, you know the fucking deal and you know what the fuck I do!” I yelled, growing irritated by the second.

“I don’t, Adrian,” she said lowly. Kissing my teeth, I grabbed her hand and led the way towards my office not before grabbing a hold of the Hennessy bottle. Cabaretwas absolutely filled to capacity tonight, making it harder for me to navigate through the club. It was all good though. Finally, Elsa and I both made it towards the back where the music was barely heard. I used my key to open the door along with punching in the six-digit combination that was needed to officially open the space. Since I barely come around the club, my office wasn’t as up to par with the rest of my other establishment. This was more of Justin and August’s thing with concerns of handling the club.

“So, what you want me to do?” I said, locking the door behind me.

“I want you to tell me the truth and finally fucking commit,”

“I can’t,” I told her truthfully.

“So, what can you do?” she questioned with a scowl.

“Fuck you well,”

Good dick will easily make a bitch shut up. I can never seem to understand their logic, and this is why I support open relationships 110%. After satisfying Elsa for the time being, I promised her I would catch up with her later. I didn’t know how true that statement is, but I was going to attempt to stick to it. All I know is that she seemed satisfied with my promise as she got redressed. Apparently, she was going to head home with the group of friends she came with, so I was totally okay with that. If anything, I would think she just came to the club to get some dick. I hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed because when I took a look at my phone, it was well past midnight. Making sure I looked presentable, I began to leave out of my office, locking the door behind me and slipping out of the club without much of a notice. On the way towards my parked car, I began to dial my sister’s number. I haven’t heard from the two of them since I dropped Bailey off and I want to make sure things are running accordingly, especially with Bailey’s in my sister possession.

Before I had the chance to dial her number, an incoming text message came in from her.

From Justine: We’re at your house and where are you?!

To Justine: I’ll be there in a minute, sit tight.

With that, I threw my phone into the cup holder and sped down the street, passing by the red light. Heading from New York to New Jersey always seemed to be a bit of a hassle but with my race car driving skills it seemed like nothing. A forty-five minute drive ended up only taking less than thirty. When I pulled up in front of the house, Justine’s car was parked neatly opposite of mine. I grabbed my phone and the food I purchased on the way here. I slid the key into the keyhole before entering into the spacious house. I checked the kitchen for the two of them but was fruitless, so my best bet would be to check B’s room. Her door was wide open when I came up the spiral staircases. I stuck my head inside the room a bit and noticed the plethora of bags sitting on top of her bed.

Even in the worst of predicaments, women still find pleasure in shopping. Their logic really is screwed.

“Ayo, Bailey, Justine,” I called out. There was a bag of Sour Patches opened and I easily took the bag off of the bed and began to munch on it while sitting on the edge of her bed. The pattern of footsteps invaded my eardrum causing me to look up from my phone.

“What?” I cocked my head back at Justine’s blunt attitude. With her being a little younger than me, I didn’t expect her to listen to me as the elder of us because who would if we’re siblings? As Justine tells me all the time, she has her own mind and does what she pleases. Since she was my sister, I did let it slide as I do with most things dealing with her.

“I’m back,” I mumbled, stuffing another Sour Patch in my mouth.

“Welp, that’s obvious,” she snickered. I shrugged off her comment with ease, not fazed by her smartness. My eyes met Bailey’s as she stood there staring back at me; the only difference was that her eyes were on me to begin with. Licking my lips, I stuffed one more chewy candy in my mouth before placing it to the side of me. I left a few back for whoever that was.

“You’re welcome,” Bailey muttered.

“For what?” I said.

“That is my candy you just ate,” she pointed out with a mug.

“My fault, ma. This is fattening to begin with. You shouldn’t be eating it anyhow,”

“What are you trying to say?” she riposted.

“I wasn’t speaking figuratively. What I said is what I meant,” I stated simply. She rolled her beautiful brown eyes before grabbing a hold of a bag and shuffling off inside the closet; making herself at home already.

“You should really leave her alone, Nicholas,” My sister scolded. “I really don’t see why you can’t let her go on about her business like she should,” she grabbed ahold of her expensive Chanel purse, along with her jacket before exiting the bedroom. I followed behind her, not before taking the rest of the Sour Patches and trailing behind her as she went towards one of the many living rooms downstairs. I sat down on the couch and she decided to sit on the same couch as I, pulling her feet underneath her. I reached for the remote underneath the piles of paper and quickly turned the T.V. on, last night game highlights on for a repeat. “Are you listening to me?” she questioned.

“Yes, Justine,” I mumbled.

“So why don’t you let her go?” she retorted.

“Because that’s going to defeat the purpose, the hell?”

“What can she possibly do, that you can’t already? You obviously have more power than she will ever have so the need for her to be here seems unnecessary. You know, just by talking to her today, you can tell she has a bright future. Your selfish reasons are taking away from what she should be able to do without a problem. She has a family, Nicholas! How selfish can you be?” she snapped. I eyed her for a few seconds before kissing my teeth. All that she was saying was seeping into one ear and coming out the other. This is a conversation that I’ve heard plenty of times before and one I’ve never took much heed to before anyhow. I can be understanding but at this point, I was too stuck in my ways to think of anything else but my goal. Justine still can’t seem to wrap her head around that.

“I’m not trying to hear that right now,” I grumbled, laying back. “It’s not that serious. She still has her freedom. Shit, she should be happy right about now,”

“How?” she asked in bewilderment.

“Listen, if you’re ‘bout to lecture me over some shit like this, you can save your breath. I don’t need to hear it. If anything, since you’re my sister, you should stand behind my back about this!” I gritted.

“I always have your back when I shouldn’t,” she huffed. “I’m just stating my opinion,”

“No one asked for it,” I insisted.

“Fair enough,” she muttered. A slight disagreement between my sister and I never seemed to fail. It was something that happened more than I wished for it to and I couldn’t do much but allow it to happen. I get her worry and concern, but she really doesn’t realize, I’ll do what I please when I feel like, whenever. It sounds harsh, almost as if I’m not listening to her but I have to do what I feel is right and she knows it. She just doesn’t want to admit to it for whatever reason. A conversation like this always resulted in her being mute for a while as she contemplated her thoughts. No blind or deaf man would not be able to sense how frustrated my little sister was with me. Being that I’m twenty-six and she’s twenty-three, she has it set in her mind that since I’m older, I should do better. Since the tender age of fifteen, she knew just about everything I was doing and never once approved of it, just like mama. Good thing I was never asking for their approval. Justine was definitely the type that wasn’t one to hold her tongue. You might as well call her judgmental. I just find it ironic how she has the nerve to say something about what I do, when who she dated and produced a baby with is no better than I. “I still think it’s wrong and no better than the last,”

“The last time was a completely different story and you know that,” I said through clenched teeth.

“A different story,” she scoffed. “Isn’t this considered a different story?” she asked rhetorically. “You know what? Make the same mistakes over again and don’t listen to what the fuck I have to say ‘cause you never do, right? Right,” she declared.

“If that’s how you feel so be it,” I shrugged. I wasn’t going to go tit for tat with her about something such as. At the end of the day, she was the only sibling I had and an argument or disagreement like this was minuscule to the shit we’ve been through. I wasn’t trying to get her riled up which is usually why I try to keep her away from this. However, it seems like she finds some way to get involved back into shit like this and furthermore, her opinions are always heard when it’s the last thing needed.

“Well, I’m going to get going now. I just wanted to let you know Austin is being released next month from the hospital. I might need some help,”

“About that… I need y’all staying here for a few weeks,” Her eyebrows meshed together in confusion. “I know, you moved, you in a safe environment, I get it. But, I need to keep an eye on y’all for a bit and since this is the safest place you know, I want you to stay here while Austin recovers,”

“Nicholas, this is like a frat house! I like the guys and all but for Austin to recover in here is unimaginable,”

“There’s a guest house for a reason. It’s either you stay here or there. Not the brownstone,” I stated sternly. Rolling her eyes, she shook her head slowly. I doubt she could deal with living in the same vicinity as me without engaging in a tense argument. Luckily for her, the house was more than spacious so everyone wouldn’t collide into one another. Besides, we all have a respectful attitude towards one another and overstepping boundaries won’t happen, especially with my sister and nephew around. “It’s nothing permanent. Just for a few weeks,”

“I have to consult Austin’s father,”

“Man, fuck him,” I stressed.

“At the end of the day, that’s still his father,”

“Unfortunately,” I said. There was no secret that I wasn’t too fond of her choices in men and most importantly, the boy she chose to lay down and have a child with. Don’t get me wrong, I love my nephew but it’s unfortunate that he has such a deadbeat dad that doesn’t give a damn about the only kid he produced. Shit like that irks my nerves and it only adds to the fire when I think about Austin and how much he endured at such a young age. No matter how old you are, as young as Austin was, it was unacceptable that it occurred on account of someone else. Throughout the year of Austin being in the hospital, his father has never took the initiative to come by and check up on him. Justine on the other hand, seems to hold faith over the fact that her old flame will change and do better, but we know the deal. Justine is holding onto hope that’ll never come. “I don’t know why you have the littlest amount of faith in him. For what? He gon’ end up treating you wrong, again!” I said disapprovingly. “The only thing that nigga did good for you is give you Austin. But his ass is too irresponsible to care for the one child he has,” I spat, feeling aggravated.

“It’s not like that,” she whispered.

“I’m telling your ass this, leave the nigga alone. He is no good. His ass is grimy. You get hurt, I’m sorry to say but I will rub it in your face,” I huffed.

If it’s not one thing, it’s another and I can’t make this clear enough for my sister to realize. Something has got to give!

“Why would you say that?” she frowned.

“Tough love,” I shrugged. “You warned me before and now I’m warning you. Do what you please with my words but I swear to God, I’ll kill him before he hurts you again,” I stated with assurance. There’s been a few incidents where I ran into Lonnie, Austin’s father, and it’s never a pleasant circumstance. I attempt to tolerate him for Austin’s sake and Justine’s but I usually disregard their feelings for one minute because my attitude wouldn’t allow for shit to slide. Animosity between the two of us been building for the longest and it’s only so much I can take before shit gets crazy.

“I’ll be there when Austin is released. Where y’all finna stay? In here or the guest house?” I asked, rubbing my chin. The highlights of the Spurs Vs Heat game were making me anxious as hell. The Spurs had the series advantage over the Heat and if the Spurs didn’t win the series altogether, I’d be losing quite a few bucks.

“I’ll think about,” she responded with. “I’m going to leave before I end up in tears,” she sighed. “Please don’t hurt Bailey,” she pleaded.

“Just go say bye to her and go,” I fanned off. It really never failed for shit to go left when I could do without it.

She huffed and carried her ass upstairs; her footsteps being heard loud and clear. The front door opening caught my attention, so I stood to see who was coming in, only to be met by Caiden and Brian. “The strip is back on track,”

“So y’all took care of it?” I asked for clarification.

“Most definitely. Shady bitches need to learn their place and I think we did a good job at that today,” Brian stated with a mischievous grin.

“That’s good. I’ll check up on the block in a few weeks, keep ‘em on their toes,” I nodded. After that quick exchange of words, I headed back into the living room and took a seat. I was restless, not really sleeping as much as I should which causes me to be slightly grumpy and agitated over the smallest things. I need to sleep but I have too much on my mind to go to bed for a second. The most amount of hours I would receive each night would be at least four. By then, I would be up, plotting and thinking of ways to outcompete competition and destroy anyone in my way. Besides, you can’t get much done when you’re sleep anyhow. My stepfather always had this attitude about him that I liked because it embodied everything that represented power. I knew what I wanted since I was young, but I didn’t know the extent of what I wanted till now. Once you’re in too deep, it’s kind of hard to slip away casually. But, I don’t think I want to up and leave like most would.

“Okay, Nicholas, I’m leaving,”

“I can’t get a hug?” I questioned.

“The way you just talked to me like that, nah,” she said with all seriousness. By the morning, this’ll all blow over.

“I still love your slow ass,” I hollered.

“I do too, unfortunately,” she mumbled but I was still able to hear. I stood and trailed towards one of the windows, wanting to make sure that she got in her car safely. She didn’t even pull out of the driveway completely and I already had her on the phone, making sure she’d get home safe. Even through our disagreements, I still knew I had a duty as an older brother to look out for her. I would never let a disagreement lead for me to ignore her presence when that’s the last thing I can do. I done loss so many people and I’m not ‘bout to sit up and have to bury my younger sibling when it should be completely avoidable. I swear I spent at least thirty minutes on the phone with her, sometimes not even talking but just checking to make sure that she’d be alright. I don’t like her living by herself anyhow but she’s independent and for her to be a woman, I applaud that to a certain limit. “I’m home,” she finally said.

“Word?”

“Yes, now go to sleep. I’m fine,” she yawned. “I’ll call you in the morning,”

“Alright,” I mumbled. “Love you,”

“Mhm,” she mumbled. “Same here,”

Bailey

After a long day, I was happy to be in the confines of a room that belonged to me and me only. My thoughts seemed to resurface at times when I could do without them but there was a clear reason as to why I couldn’t function without a though reemerging; I was in dire need of my family. With Justine in my presence for the better half of the afternoon, I could admit honestly that she was a breath of fresh air. There was something about her demeanor that I liked but made me question a whole bunch of shit regarding her brother, I knew she wouldn’t be able to answer. However, I needed answers and I felt like I wouldn’t get a response to those questions anytime soon. I bit the inside of my cheek as I trailed back and forth between trying my luck with my phone. It’s been on my mind this whole time, but I had to be careful about this. I would have done it while I was out with Justine, but I realized it wouldn’t be right if I took advantage of her like that, like her brother mentioned.

If I was going to fuck around, I’d be in front of Adrian, not his sister.

But here I was? My phone in hand, walking across the soft carpet, debating on whether I should turn my phone on. Adrian had been downstairs for quite some time, so I suspected he was preoccupied with something or someone. His sister bided me a farewell over ten minutes ago, so I knew she was long gone by now. I just didn’t know when Adrian would decide to grace me with his lovely presence. “Fuck it,” I grumbled, I shuffled off into my bathroom, closing the door behind me. As I waited for my phone to fully turn on, I decided it would be best if I message Chance instead of calling and furthermore, getting everyone else riled up.

Chance was levelheaded. I don’t know how he’s exactly feeling but I know he’s rational and that’s what I need. A small smile graced my lips once I looked down at all the unread messages and unanswered phone calls. I had over forty voicemail messages, but all would be swept to the side. I had to be quick and smart about this and since Chance was my best resort, I quickly opened up a new message, wanting to clarify that I was alright. I know that alone would raise more curious thoughts but I didn’t have time for that.

Upon clicking his contact name and navigating towards the messages, my heart dropped at the numerous messages he left.

First, it started off with a small frown emoji.

This was probably after noticing that I took more than twenty minutes, supposedly talking to Ryan. Me talking to Ryan all of a sudden is a joke in itself but a joke Chance believed.

After the frowning emoji, Chance had notified me that he was just going to head to my mother’s house without me.

I still hadn’t responded, due to obvious reasons, but yet, he didn’t leave it alone like the best friend he is.

He continued to press the matter on why I wasn’t answering any of his calls or responding back to his questions on my whereabouts. Midway through reading his messages, I was on the verge of tears. With me being placed on the bathroom floor, tucked away in the corner, I felt like this was the perfect time to shed a few tears. But I didn’t. There were messages starting from yesterday afternoon to early this morning and by now, I could see panic reside in his aggressive messages. I was getting too lost into all of this, I nearly forgot what the purpose of having my phone in my hand was for. There were so many other things I could do with a phone, but I was too scared to do anything about it. Call the cops? That’s stupid. Do I know where I’m at? I had no reasonable choices but to assure that I was alright.

With shaky fingers, I began to generate a message I believed would soothe everyone for the time being.

To ChanceTheOG: You probably know by now but no, I am not with Ryan. Long story short, I needed some sort of break. I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately and I just wanted to take a step back and relax. Sorry for not answering any of y’all calls but I don’t mean nothing by it. I’m safe and in good hands so no need to worry. Please spread the word. Love you, Chano!

The words seemed to spill easily with a few being a tad bit fabricated. Did I truly need a break from my family? No but would it seem convincing? Yes. However, did that mean Chance will truly believe me? I have no clue. I would hope so. The vibration of my phone caused me to jump slightly until I took notice that it was coming from my phone. The number in the corner of my phone continued to rise but I couldn’t bring myself to look at the rest of the messages. Chance’s latest message is all that I saw.

From ChanceTheOG: ARE YOU SURE?! PLEASE DON’T LIE TO ME…

His name flashed across my screen in seconds and I knew he was going to be persistent till I answered but I couldn’t. Pressing down on the small button at the top of the phone, I watched as my phone began to power off before I chucked it to the side of me. With a simple glimpse of a conversation like that, I don’t know when would be the next time I would have that half ass opportunity. Not only that but I had to find a way at re – hiding my phone once again and placing it back where I found it. Sighing loudly, I grasped my phone between my fingers and stood, walking out of the bathroom. In the brown chestnut dresser, I rested the small device in the corner of the top dresser under multiple clothes. If things took a turn, the last place Adrian would look for it would be in my dresser. It was too obvious. He would think I would outdo him when in actuality, I’m doing what any naïveperson would do. He doesn’t believe I’m naïve, so I have to act like I am some sort of way.

I took it upon myself to walk down the stairs and find some sort of human to communicate with. If I stay upstairs in isolation, I’ll only be driving myself insane and giving Adrian a reason to wonder about me. I haven’t given myself the grand tour of the house, but it was absolutely stunning. For about five men to live here and keep it super clean, I give them their props. Or, they could simply have a maid. All in all, it was a stunning house to begin with. The interior reminded me of my mother’s house, especially with the unique pieces of furniture. “Nice crib, huh?” I turned around, coming face to face with Adrian. I hadn’t even noticed I was in the living room.

“Yes, it’s nice,” I shrugged.

“Have a seat. I don’t have my glock on me, so you don’t have to be scared,”

“I’m not scared,” I said, pursing my lips together.

“Sure?” he questioned, turning the volume down a bit.

“Yep,” I stated with confidence.

“Some come sit and watch this game with me,” Discreetly, I rolled my eyes and walked towards an available couch to sit on. My body was obviously tense, and he surely took notice of that, laughing at my uncomfortableness. “Relax, baby girl. Chill,” it was ironic that he could tell me to chill in the position I was in. From the conversation earlier with Justine, she depicted him in a different light; like some humanitarian. Since that is her brother, of course she will. But since she’s not in my position, I will be the one judging him.

“Miami is losing tonight,” I found myself saying. Riley was a huge basketball fan, just like any male, but his obsession with the game went further than most. Most wanted to just be able to play but no, he wanted to own a team – Miami Heat in fact. Watching a game like this would usually consist of him, Ryan, Rayne and myself. It was the most common thing for us to do and then some but after Riley was gunned down, that all changed quickly. I stopped looking at basketball games entirely so looking at it now was foreign.

“You know that because?” he questioned.

“LeBron isn’t really playing with his heart. Wade isn’t doing shit to help out the team. They already gave up once Spurs gained a lead in the series,”

“Let me find out you know something about ball,”

“I don’t know much, to be honest. But, I have a good gut feeling,” I shrugged.

“Is that so?” he said.

“Yes,”

“Well, damn, I must’ve hit the jackpot. You’re ‘bout to be a jack of all trades,” he chuckled as the game cut to halftime.

“Something like that,” I whispered. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just wasted…” he paused, counting something unaware to me. “… Seven syllables asking me can you ask a question, when technically, you just did. Why do you girls do that?” I smiled briefly, not realizing what I was doing in that very moment until I saw him mirroring my expression. Fuck.

“Well, a lot of y’all don’t like to be bothered by questions. Ironic enough, y’all not that confrontational unlike girls,”

“Is that a proven theory?” he retorted.Well, obviously you beat that statistic.

“Are you trying to move away from the fact that I want to ask you a question?”

“Trying to avoid confrontation, remember?” You really can’t beat him at his own game.

“That would be nice but seriously, why do you cause other people harm?” I said, twiddling the multiple rings that adorned my finger. Rings all bought by Ryan himself. I had the urge to pull them off my finger and throw them away, but I didn’t. I wore them on graduation day and it was the last bit of him I had left. I was still holding onto the little bit of faith I had with Ryan. I really shouldn’t try but I find myself doing it to this very moment. When I was upstairs, I should have seen if he had called me when I had the chance, but I would rather leave it at unknown than to actually know and be disappointed that he didn’t. After all, I haven’t heard from him in a month. Now all of a sudden is when he wants to check up on me or even show concern? I don’t know why I try.

“I don’t cause other people harm,” he stated nonchalantly.

“Okay… why do you do what you do then?” I said. “You’re only benefiting yourself and doing more harm than good,”

“So?” he asked with all seriousness. “Isn’t your boyfriend killing niggas for a living? Ain’t that an oxymoron right there?” he chuckled with a smirk. I couldn’t even deny the fact that he had me right there. I really can’t ask a question like that without sounding biased because Ryan and my father does the same thing. I don’t know much about Adrian, so I did assume that he’s obviously a threat. Why wouldn’t he be? He does carry a gun after all. “Right,” he dragged out. “Anyhow, why are you so curious? Just roll with the flow,”

“Should I not be?”

“Nope, you in good hands now,” He kept making references about Ryan that I was unaware of. What could he know about my boyfriend that I don’t know already? “There’s no reason to ask any more questions so don’t,” My lips were sealed after that and it seemed like perfect timing since halftime was now over and third quarter was in session. It was silent for the most part as Adrian kept his eyes planted on the television screen, munching on the food he brought from the kitchen after he dismissed our conversation. Call me crazy but the only reason I feel like he’s curving my questions is to protect him from showing raw emotions. Justine already told me that he’s a tough cookie to crack but that didn’t really falter or bother me much. I mean, I dated Ryan and he is the least bit easy to understand so why wouldn’t I be able to understand Adrian? I’m up for the challenge.

Since I was somewhat-turned around on the couch him and I sat on, I was given the perfect opportunity to really take in his looks. Everything from his smooth skin to his thick eyebrows. He was an odd beauty; not something I would typically go for but a gorgeous man. It was just a sweet bonus that he was tall, but he wasn’t mine. Ryan is and I don’t even know where we stand at the moment besides this so called break. Licking my lips, I noticed I was doing that more than what I would have liked to. The only good thing from this is that he didn’t catch me lusting over his looks. If he had, I wouldn’t hear the last of it and he would surely turn this into a direction I’m trying to avoid for as long as my stay last.

“Damn, Spurs ain’t playing this year at all,” he mumbled, taking a sip of the dark liquor in a clear glass. I twisted my head in the direction of the television and noticed the score. There was a huge gap and it was sad to see that the Heat were getting violated this badly. I know Riley’s not happy about that. “Good for me. I’ll be 100 grand richer,” he said, his fingers quickly glazing over the screen of his black iPhone.

“You bet?” I asked.

“I do it all,” he muttered.

“Kidnapping included?”

“You’re still not over that?” he asked in a gruff tone. “We need to move forward, baby girl. None of that working in the past shit,”

“If that’s that the case, I still have a few more questions,” I said firmly. “If you want me to cooperate, when I shouldn’t might I add, I want to know a few things first off bat,”

“Hold on,” he muttered, continuing to focus on the last few seconds of the basketball game. It was obvious the Spurs were going to win so I had no clue why he was acting as if he was waiting for something obscure to happen. Patiently tapping my acrylic nails against the material of my jeans, I waited for him to give me his undivided attention. When the game finally cut off, Adrian stood, grabbing ahold of all the plates and whatnot he had managed to pile on while snacking during the game. “Can you grab that for me?” he asked, pointing towards the empty bottles. I grabbed them and followed behind him towards the kitchen. Since they were glass bottles, I carefully placed them in the rightful space before waiting for Adrian. He went to wash his hands before grabbing a small container from the top shelf of one of the many cabinets. “Let’s talk outside,”

He threw that over his shoulder and once I caught a glimpse of his brown irises, he looked drained as fuck. “Let’s sit by the poolthen,” I mumbled. I find it to be oddly relaxing.

Surprisingly, he let me have it and took a seat right beside me. Only difference was his feet remained planted on the side, instead of the crystal-clear water.

“Want one?” He had offered a cigar, but I politely declined.

“You’re more relaxed during the night, why is that?” As far as I was concerned, he wasn’t as aggressive as he was in the day. That was obviously a difference I took notice of. He was mellower; he just had a smart mouth on him still but that was somewhat-tolerable. His actions weren’t. But I just found it strange how it seemed like he switched so easily. Maybe this is who he is and everything else is just a façade. Either way, everyone has a story that’s worth listening to despite the situation. I should be quick to say fuck him, but my heart wasn’t set up like that. It should be, I don’t know why it isn’t.

“Nah, I’m just plottin’ so I remain quiet until I need to talk,” he clarified, blowing smoke out of the corner of his mouth. “What you needed to ask?”

“Will I really be able to leave after you get what you need?” I would love to be able to go home after this is all over and remain secluded in one place no one will find me at and potentially, I’ll be able to put this all behind me.

“It’s up to you. I only need you for one thing at this point. I don’t know what the future holds but if you still happen to be around then so be it,” I nodded, a bit content with his answer. It was no different than what he said before but hearing him say it to me directly was a bit more reassuring. He seemed genuine about it so hopefully he was being true to his words. If anything, I was more curious to see how the turn of events would be in these upcoming weeks. All I knew was my life was still in danger because it seemed to me, Adrian and his boys could be a bit reckless.

“Will it be all work with you?” I pressed.

“Meaning?”

“No personal interference?” I clarified.

I watched the smoke mix in with the air around us, flowing away slowly. “None of that. I’m not trying to get sidetracked and that’s what y’all females being doing to a brotha. So, before that even starts, we gon’ dead those ifs and possibilities now,” That’s impossible but I remained mum on that. This obviously meant he was finding a way to barricade his feelings and from me exactly. In his mind, this was going to be strictly-business, but he knew that would be impossible; especially dealing with me.

“So why do you say I’m yours?” I asked.

“’Cause you are,” he stated.

#ff #fanfic #fiction #j. cole

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survivalofthefittest-ff-blog · 6 years

Text

1: Money Moves

six months earlier

Time was moving so fast and the way Dionne’s day was set up, she hated it. She didn't like her job, but she sure didn't want to get off either. She contemplated on staying an extra hour, but would the headache of customers be worth it? Her hands were shaking and her heart started pounding. She wanted to go elsewhere after work, but she knew that wouldn't work out too great. Dionne knew she had to deal with him one way or another, but today wasn't the day.

Dionne was in an abusive relationship, not physical, but it was abusive verbally, mentally and emotionally. She couldn't escape it, though. She only dealt with it because his abusive, insecure, crazy ass was paying her bills and buying her expensive gifts. None of that was worth it, but Dionne felt she didn't have a choice.

”Dionne! Are you staying over again?” Dionne snapped out of her thoughts as her manager asked her a question.

”I was going to, but -”

”But you're already maxed out with hours. I love that you like to stay over, but I can't allow it this week. Go ahead and clock out. I'll see you in the morning.”

”Alrighty.” Dionne sighed and walked away.

Wrapped up in her thoughts, Dionne wasn't paying any attention to her surroundings. She was so annoyed by her manager that she didn't even notice customers asking her for help as she walked by.

”Yo, can you help me?” Dionne finally turned around. ”Yeah, you.”

Dionna stood there and puzzled for a moment. It was two guys standing there and she couldn't take her eyes off of one. The one asking for help didn't really catch her eye, it was the guy he was with. He was very tall, which Dionne liked and his caramel colored skin had art all over. He was beautiful, but of course, he wasn't paying attention to Dionne.

”Um, yes I - ”

”She can’t, she's off the clock. I'll be more than welcome to help you, though.” Dionne frowned as her co-worker Maria cut her off. ”Get out of here before Shelia comes back. I'll take care of this. See you later?” Maria whispered.

”Yeah, see you later.”

The club was packed to capacity and Dionne was annoyed. Max had been calling her nonstop demanding she get home, but money had to be made. She was a sales associate by day and bartender by night, but honestly, she just wanted to quit both. The bartending job was cool, but she was tired of staying up late. It was the same thing for her for five days out of the week and she was ready to give up. She wanted to give up on both jobs and her relationship, but it didn't seem like it would happen anytime soon.

”What up shorty? I ain't seen you in a few days, you good?”

”Hey slim. Yeah, I'm good been busy with my other job, what are you drinking tonight?”

”You know, the usual. I like my Hennessy chilled. You said your other job? What you doing working two jobs?”

”I like making money.” She sat his glass down.

”That's cool, let me ask you something.” Dionne raised an eyebrow and was curious to know what he was about to ask. ”You ever thought about making some real money?”

”What do you mean?”

”My boy Len looking for somebody else with this little situation he got planned. He could use a smart woman on the team.” Dionne was cautious about situations like this. She didn't know if it was legit or it was a scam.

Dealing with any of the dudes in New York was risky, especially for her. Dionne was from Houston, so being around and with a guy from New York was different for her. It's not that she was scared, she was just trying to learn how the people moved out here. It had only been two years and she was learning, but she needed to learn a little quicker.

”What is the mission, slim? Most importantly who the hell is Len?”

”He just texted me. He’ll be here in a few minutes. I'll let him talk to you about that. After you get off, though.” Dionne gave Slim a look and tended to the other people sitting at the bar. She worried it would be something that involved her life being on the line, she wasn't ready for that.

As the night continued, the club became more crowded and Dionne was getting more dollars and attention. It didn't take two seconds before her attention went back on Slim and the guy that walked up to him. It was the guy she laid eyes on earlier at her other job. She wondered was this the Len guy Slim mentioned to her. If it was, she was very open to the idea.

Dionne hurried back over to Slim as he got her attention. She was nervous, yet intrigued. She was intrigued by the beautiful man that stood right in front of her. From his tattoos, his height, his smile and the jewelry that was on him, Dionne couldn't help herself. She wanted to know more about him, but would it be worth it?

”Yo, Dionne this Len. Len, this Dionne. After she gets off, we can talk about that shit you mentioned earlier.” Dionne was frozen, not literally, but that's what it looked like.

”I ran into shorty earlier.” Slim looked confused.

”Earlier? So yall already met?”

”Yeah, um, at my other job. We didn't actually get introduced, though.” Dionne was stuttering and didn't even realize it. She was just in awe of Lennox’s looks and the way he looked at her sent chills up her body.

Dionne wasn't sure if she should even agree to this. Lennox was very attractive and the way her relationship was set up, she didn't need to be underneath another man she thought looked good. She was so close to calling her relationship off and the way Lennox looked, she was ready to play single.

”So are you willing to help me?” Lennox asked a nervous looking Dionne.

”I guess.”

”I need you to be sure. I don't work well with people who are not sure.”

”Okay, I'm open to the idea. I just hope I can trust you.”

”I hope I can trust you too.” He was stern and Dionne could tell he was very serious. This was about to be very interesting.

#dave east ff #miracle watts ff #50 cent ff #j cole ff

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downbythewater-beachblondee · 6 years

Text

27 | The Monte Carlo Affair

April 28th 2000

"The flowers! Where are the fucking flowers?"

It was the spring of the last year in the twentieth century and Dinah Tobias was all the rage.

"No! Ay, Dios Mio. We need white roses and Chrysanthemums, you idiot!"

It was also the year I discovered she was half Mexican. She talked to the landscaping guys fluently when she really felt like they did something wrong.

"You know, who are you? I might just have you fired-"

"Ma, you need to relax."

"Relax? You know what, Elijah. Don't...fucking talk to me until this day is over. Got it?"

It was comical, that day. The sun was shining and it didn't rain for weeks which was odd for Mississippi in May.

All I could remember was the sun shining perfectly on Esther's face when I seen her walk down the aisle. She had no flaws, man. She was perfect that day and forever more.

My mom was totally insane and somehow she made everything and everybody work together for us that night.

"I'd like to make a toast." She sang, diddling the little wine glass with her cinderella gloves. She could really play the part when she needed to.

"My son....My daughter...." Were the only two words worth anything. The rest were about our childhood and how we met as kids. Never did she mention that Esther was my cousin once. It was alright with me, I mean who would really want to broadcast such a thing.

And mother was the queen at knowing what and what not to broadcast.

We had a good time that night. All of us. The music was good, the food was good, the wine was great.

I was marrying my fucking cousin for christ's sake.

I'd like to think we were getting married because we wanted to but I would be lying through my teeth.

Mother didn't need a reason to marry us off. She just did. The second she got wind of me growing up and fending for myself she just had to draw one of her eyes out of their sockets to keep watch on me somehow.

Maybe it was because she couldn't let go of me entirely so she felt inclined to entrust someone she knew would take care of me.

Esther truly was a good woman.

But, come on. We were young.

We were so young.

I was blinded by Esther's beauty the night we bounded vows. But in all truths, I hated to admit that my mother was right about something.

After all, she didn't force me to marry Esther.

Esther really was the perfect woman. With or without makeup on she was a beacon. She was a beacon of strength when I had none and she prayed with me when I had no words. When my words were taken from me, she breathed them into my soul like chain smoke.

Esther and I truly gave content a positive connotation.

Yes, later on we'd come to the realization that we were never meant for marriage. But we stayed married. Because I needed her. She knew I needed her. And despite the situation, she was always there. For me. For the family. For whatever was right.

Needless to say, I loved that girl. It was only that night had I realized that I wasn't afraid to say it.

Yeah, it might've been weird but we made whatever relationship we had official in the eyes of God. Right or wrong. Mother or no mother.

Almost like I was marrying my best friend.

☽

Elijah

Car rides with Asia were always silent until she started yapping about something feeble and vain. If it wasn't about a new exercise she found in a magazine it was about some diet pills she found for half off. She was mediocre in everything she did and then had the nerve to ask me what I thought. She dragged me along to accompany her with her spree's, asking "How do I look?". It was fun at first but it never mattered what I said. Her mind was an open abyss and she had no intentions of finding out what I really thought about anything. I was her walking machine that just went along with everything she did and said. So no, weight and beauty weren't really her biggest issues.

"I was looking at the World Wide Web today..."

I wondered about Sanaa without feeling guilt probably for the first time. Was she alive? She never went this long without at least trying to contact me.

"Apparently, there's this girl named Amelia Bergin: goes by the name Pepper. She went missing a few days ago..."

Was I pushing her away? I don't exactly remember what went down the last time I saw her. Not that it was that important.

"This will make the fourth incident in Los Cabasas in which a woman has been reported missing and found dead not too long after..."

Everything I did was for her. I kept her in mind when I did anything. My mom gets in the way of everyones personal life. What makes her think she's not going to put her two cents into ours?

"The fourth...Elijah. Elijah? Elijah, are you listening to me?"

If she couldn't accept my family to begin with, there was just no way we would've worked out. And she had to respect that.

"Elijah, slow down. Slow down! You're about to hit her!"

It was even worse on my part especially since I done already told her everything pertaining to Esther's death and her little friend Kylo. It was like she was waving this flag of guilt above my head with every day we were apart.

"Fucking slow down!"

It was the first time Asia cursed and the first time someone physically controlled the wheel without my consent.

I stomped on the breaks forcefully, sending Asia and I both towards the dashboard.

"Ouch!"

"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

"I think so." She whined holding her nose. "Is it broken?"

"Let me see. Wiggle it."

She sniffed, touching it lightly.

"No, it's not broken."

"How do you know?" She whimpered.

"Trust me. You'd know if it was broken. You wouldn't be able to talk."

"Thank God. I have an AKA meeting tomorrow. I can't afford to have a wrap on my nose."

We were in the middle of the street so horns began honking furiously.

"Gosh, people can be so insensitive."

"Say's the guy who couldn't hear a god damn thing I was saying and almost broke my fucking nose!"

"Wait, didn't you say we almost ran someone over?"

Asia's eyes wandered the scene, landing directly on a woman crossing the street quicker than shit running down a stick.

"Fix the car, damn it."

I did as she said, pulling over on the sidewalk.

"Wait!" She called over to the girl, holding her nose. "I'm sorry. My boyfriend's an idiot. We didn't mean to scare you!"

Ugh. Just hearing the word made me gag in my throat. What else was about to happen, the romantic signing of our prenup?

"Oh, it's quite alright." The girl responded.

"Come on. We'll drive you to wherever you need to go."

"No, it's really alright."

"Oh, come. It's the least we could do."

The girl hesitantly walked over towards the car. She was tall and shapely wearing an uneasy smile the shape of a crescent moon. Disappearing every now and then and rare as a north star.

"Hello," She greeted before hopping into the backseat.

"Hey, I'm Asia." Asia welcomed, extending the hand that wasn't viciously holding onto her nose. "Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise."

The girls laden eyes drifted towards mine.

It was the way her jaw silently dropped that told me exactly who she was. If it wasn't for her form and her anxious physique I probably wouldn't have put two and two together. But, I remembered.

"Elijah," Asia scolded, wrapping my arm with the sharp slap of her fingers. "Aren't you gonna introduce yourself?"

"Hey."

I didn't know if it were appropriate to call a family reunion since I barely knew the girl. However, I did know that she was pretty close to Kylo and Sanaa: Two people I've been trying to block out of my mind for while.

And if she were anywhere near me I knew that one of them were as well.

Which also meant Sanaa would show her face very soon.

And just when I thought I'd gotten my mojo back.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

_______________

"What do you like in your tea?"

I was at a standstill between a mute and an overbearing girlfriend. If all was truly fair in love and war I'd loose every time.

"Nothing. I like it by itself."

Of course she did. Isolated, like she truly was.

I crossed my arms, placing my head on the table.

"Don't look so gloom, Elijah. You know we still have to drop her off at her home." Asia babbled.

"Why couldn't we have just done that at first."

"We have to show some hospitality. We almost ran the girl over not even forty five minutes ago."

Peaches gazed at me quickly. I could've sworn she had a smirk on her face. If she weren't pretty, maybe I wouldn't have noticed as much.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" Asia interrogated.

"...Peaches." She finally spoke. Her voice singing songs of comfort almost instantly.

"Well, isn't that a pretty name."

If I could slit my wrists with a knife I would've. I hated petty, superficial conversations.

"So, Peaches...where do you stay? Once you finish your tea we can head out there."

"It's out that way," She revealed, extending her index finger north. "Down by the water."

"Water? What water?" Asia inquired.

See, Asia knew nothing about the rancid water sitting within the abandoned park. Not many people did. I didn't at first. Which reminded me of Sanaa and made me want to slit my wrists even more.

"It's near the hospital. I know exactly where it is." I carped, exchanging stares with Peaches. She wanted a staring contest? I was bout to give her one.

Asia sat back in her chair.

"Well if I didn't know you, Elijah I'd say you all know each other." Asia joked. Although it wasn't funny.

"He's an old friend." Chimed Peaches, unexpectedly.

I wish she wouldn't have done that.

But before Asia could question and object, her pager rang loudly.

"Er- hold on." She got up, answering her phone in the other room.

Once I knew she was fully out of the kitchen, I faced Peaches and began to speak just above a whisper.

"Where is she?" I declared.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, save the bullshit. You know exactly where she is and you're hiding her from me."

"Hm, that's what you think?"

"What is this? Some kind of lesbian love story going on here?"

"I think you're rude and disrespectful and I don't have to sit here and listen to you banter on about something that's never gonna happen."

"Never?"

"Give her a break. She's been through enough with you, as is."

"She has? What other lies has she been moaning into your ear?"

Asia switched back into the kitchen, grabbing her gucci jacket and purse.

"My mom called." She faltered. "I'm heading out."

Her demeanor had totally changed. She went from being overly social to uncertain. I don't know if it was the phone call or if it had something to do with Peaches running her mouth about me being an old friend of hers.

"Well...since you know where she lives you don't need me to tell you to take her home."

Within a few seconds she finally left through the garage.

With the closing of the backdoor, Peaches stood up emptying her glass into the sink.

"Nice gal you got there." She incited.

"As much as I'd love talking to you about what doesn't concern you, I'd rather discuss our prior conversation."

"Like I said, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You know, I don't even need to talk to you. I really could just drive down there now and find her by my damn self."

"Well if you didn't need me so much why am I still here?"

I stood, emptying my tea in the sink next to her.

"What the fuck are you mumbling about?"

"I'm not mumbling, sir. And what I mean is, why haven't you put me out by now?"

I scrunched my face, unamused by her humor. It made no sense.

"I'm bout to take you home now."

Silence laved between us much like it did when Asia was around. However, now it was different. I no longer had to hide the fact that I did but didn't know Peaches and neither did she.

I took advantage of her terra-cotta eyes resembling the sharp color of milk in black tea. Her hands clenched onto her sweater. She was still hiding.

I set the dirty china down in the sink beside hers.

She just kept staring. The reticence among us was fatal. I knew it was. Her delicate hands swiped a strand of hair away from her eye and she smiled. I smiled back as she was my mirror.

When I looked at her I saw myself. I saw a representation of me and how I hid from everything. How I longed desperately for something to hold onto and claim. Like a blanket. No matter what, people like us would find whatever it was we were looking for and we would hold onto it.

And I liked that.

"Home. Where Sanaa is, right?" She teased, wrapping her tongue against her pearly teeth.

Our personalities fused that afternoon.

I was rough with her because she was the closest remnant of myself and although it was only temporary I enjoyed not feeling afraid to express that. No blood ties meant no blood, no baggage. We could explore each other like a map and no one could find us.

She was alright with that.

And so was I.

We came together.

She left by her lonesome.

youtube

#jcole #j cole gif #nicki minaj #princessnokia #ff #jfcolefanfic #fanfic #sza fanfic

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sempr-gumby · 6 years

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Me from A-Z

Tagged By: the wonderful @wordsfly-writes-ff ! Thank you, this was fun!

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

A - Age: 23

B - Birthplace: USA

C - Current Time: 9:05 pm, Saturday

D - Drink You Last Had: Coca-Cole Icee

E - Easiest Person To Talk To: My best friend - we’ve known each other since we were two years old. No one gets me like she does

F - Favorite Song: Gosh this is a hard one! I guess it would have to be Silence (ft. Khalid) by Marshmello

G - Grossest Memory: (cw: vomit) My friend became suddenly and violently ill while sitting across from me in the dining hall. She vomited up her partially digested salad (which was primarily beets and feta cheese) all over her tray. My other friend, who has a stomach of iron, managed to remove the tray from my line of sight before I also threw up

H - Horror Yes or Horror No: Yes - but the story has to be good or at least solid. I can’t watch the ones that rely on being scary/gross to carry the movie.

I - In Love: I’m not romantically in love at the moment, but I’m very fortunate to have people in my life that I love and love me platonically.

J - Jealous Of People: Not really. Ever so often I get jealous of people who have brains that produce the correct neurotransmitters at the correct times, but that’s never directed at anyone in particular.

L - Love At First Sight or Should I Walk By Again: No. I believe in “Let’s Bang” at first sight and romantic interest after a first conversation. Love comes after getting to know someone more.

M - Middle Name: [REDACTED] (sorry - I don’t do real name stuff on here)

N - Number of Siblings: I have two sisters. One bio-sister and one step-sister.

O - One Wish: To live a good life (I’m stealing this from you @wordsfly-writes-ff because it’s a damn good wish)

P - Person You Called Last: My mom (we talk almost every day - she’s great!)

Q - Question You’re Always Asked: I honestly don’t know. I don’t feel like I get asked any question more often than others. There’s “How are you” but that’s just a part of general conversation

R - Reason To Smile: My job, friends, family

S - Song You Sang Last: If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher

T - Time You Woke Up: around 9am

U - Underwear Color: gray and white

V - Vacation Destination: somewhere islandy

W - Worst Habit: procrastination

X - XRays: the last one was at the dentists office for a routine visit

Y - Your Favorite Food: Cannolis

Z - Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Tagging: @heffrcn; @prxngsie; @luli-luz; @amelancholyuniverse; @pappysmoustache; @unaduessa; @aces-low; @astreetsussserenade; @booksandcoffeeandink; @marvels-ninja

(sorry if you’ve already been tagged!)

#tag game #infinity war #because i mentioned it

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monsterfanfic · 7 years

Note

Do you have other ffs?

Yes. There's @wish4youff which is a J. Cole fanfic.

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triggerxhappy · 7 years

Note

1, 12, 20?

ASK THE MUN ABOUT THEIR WRITING | ACCEPTING

1. As a writer, who is your biggest inspiration?

I don’t think I have one big inspiration, but more some amazing writers that I love, that probably inspire me somehow, like J. K. Rowling, Suzanne Collins, Emily and Charlotte Bronte, Arthur Rimbaud, Alexandre Dumas and many others that I don’t think about right now :P

12. Is there a quote from a piece of literature that holds great value to you? What is it and why is it important to you?

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers toturn on the light.“ from J.K. Rowling (Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) is seriously one of my favorite quote in the world. It’s just so true ? Like, even if it’s not always easy, if we cheer up the others, if we’re this light for the others, it helps so much. ♥

20. Who are your top three favorite fictional characters and why?

Just three ? Omg this is so hard… LOL if you ask 3, i have ne choice to just say FF characters because I’m so FF trash

Noctis Lucis Caelum (FFXV) - Noct is so relatable. One of the main reason why I love him that much is because he feels so real ? He has flaws, he’s shy, he’s awkward, he cries… He’s amazing, really ♥

Locke Cole (FFVI) - Locke is the first fictional character I fall in love with when I was like 3-4 years old LOL He has everything I love on a character: he’s funny, very nice to everyone, and has his tragic past that follows him everywhere even if he doesn’t talk about it and prefers to look strong. I want to have a remake of FFVI so he could have a voice and a beautiful hq design ♥

Lightning Farron (FFXIII) - Light is so strong, physically and mentally. She’s very human, too, even if she could seem cold at first. If she wants to be strong that much, it’s because she has to be, so she could really help people she loves, and she’s just a wonderful character. I admire her a lot ♥

#answered #munjade #ooc

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wish4youff · 7 years

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11 ~ I’m Good On That

Kingston

"I'm good, I’m working out the issues as I go. I’ll be fine......I think,"

I hadn't been sitting in the beige couch for an entire minute before the words spilled from my lips. Time wasn’t on my side, I had somewhere else that I needed to be. Somewhere else that my soul seemed to be drawn to in the past few months. Plans that I slept on, prayed on, and finally this morning in one of the most mysterious ways ever, I received the answer I had hoped for.

Being out of New York in the middle of a case was like a suspect walking through the crime scene. Yet, now that I was gone, I had to get everything under control, because once I was back. New York was too on my list of uncompleted duties for more reasons than one.

My sessions with Dr. Singh would be cut short, but for understandable reasons. Reasons beyond my control, in a way, and I was okay with letting this learning method go. But I did have a suggestion.

“There's someone who I think could benefit off your wisdom more than I could. If I can, say so."

"No issues with referrals, if the person is willing. I'm more concerned about you right now though, Mr. Vitale."

“I'm good."

“You think?" He questioned, Dr. Singh’s eyes on me.

He was waiting on me to strike back, for my attitude to be defensive and naturally I was ready to defend myself. What I didn't take to note was he was ready to corner me in because those were my words, being used against me.

“I don't have the need to come anymore,"

"Because you're concern with someone else's well being." His words cutting me off mid-sentence, but most importantly, he wasn’t questioning me. Dr. Singh was certain.

What I didn't enjoy about therapists was the fact they seemed to figure out their clients from the moment both parties sit down together. The issue with that is, Dr. S couldn't figure me out if I brought him the finished canvas of my mind. But Chrissie? Oh, she just needs guidance and she knows me. Better than he could ever think, so if he wanted to still help “me” along the way, this was the true chance of doing so.

“Chrissie," Leaning back in the seat, I pulled the lime green Nike wind-breaker hood over my head, closing my eyes from the harsh lights now irritating me. "I've talked about her before. She's been through some things in her life. Plus, me on top of everything else. I think it'll be better if she got everything out on the table. And you helped her."

“Does she know you're volunteering the services, Kingston?"

“No. I don't know how to tell her."

Nodding, Dr. Singh closed the notebook beside him, rubbing a hand over his face. The man was aging the more I opened my mouth.

“I'll be willing to help anyone, Kingston. Including you. There's a lot of issues that you too need to overcome. Regardless of your job and the laws behind it; let me help."

"Eventually. Right now, I have other things to do and Chrissie needs you more."

———

There was a slight breeze in the air. The sun was out, the southern heat not giving up just because it’s in the culture not to.The wind only caused chills to run down my spine, the jacket I wore covering my arms and face as I approached the infamous tombstone.

My eyes wondered the writing aligned it. Every time it seemed fake, but I knew better than to believe it anymore. Back when I was a teenager, I would've killed anyone that force me back here after my father buried her. Those days of planning almost turning me away from even attending the damn funeral. I know that, had my mother's death been proved a murder instead of suicide; Stephen would've provoked it even more. Just so he could get his cut of the money from her insurance. Sometimes I feel like she killed herself to protect not only her life, but her life-long earnings from the monster she married.

—-

December 22, 2003

“I don't give a fuck! Put her in a damn pine box. It's not like she can tell the difference, Sherry." Then the phone slammed down on the marble material of kitchen counter.

The commotion from my father's yelling and the slamming of objects like phones and doors was enough to awake me from the nightmare I was captured in.

All of which are the same. That last exchange of words between my mother and father before he stormed out the house. They argued about his lack of time management and care for the fact he had a family here, waiting for him. Stephen has always been this way. For all my life and I turned seventeen at the top of the year.

Each time her last words to him playing through the dream. The words she would take to her grave forever.

"Fuck you, Steph. Everything I've done for you and you can't spend a little bit of time with me. How much can a woman ask for? What do I need to do? Suck your dick for some love or attention? How about your son? Don't you love him? I swear, sometimes I wish I could watch from my grave to see how far you can go without me. Cause, Steph, you won't make it. Never."

The only issue with my dream is after a few days Dad is back home like normal, instead this time it isn't her that pulls the trigger as he steps into the house. It's Stephen that does so.

As I walked the grand stairs of the now gloomy Druid Hills mansion, my eyes rack over to that area. I can see the tint of the deep red color still staining the expensive Persian rug. Dad hadn't cared to clean a spill of it. If it wasn’t for me and detectives moping it up, the house would smell of my mother’s blood still today. The man didn't even flinch when she pulled the small .410-gauge gun from under her silk robe. While he seemed numb, my entire body went into a moment of shock. Mom had been up like normal. Moving, dancing, laughing and singing to me. She cooked my favorite breakfast. Grandmother's famous buttery breakfast casserole Italian dish, strawberry and whip cream pancakes, bacon, and her home-made Orange-Strawberry blended drink. It had been weeks since I last had it. There was even enough for seconds of plates to go around. Matter a fact, I had just cleaned off the stove of her leftover containers last might. My tears and cleaning solution getting me through the job. I should've known when the sound of Dad's keys jingling in the door lock caused her tensed something wasn’t right. Her pearl gray eyes staring at me as she nodded for me to head upstairs. She never liked for me to hear the arguments they had. The one from a few nights ago was because of my own needs to hear.

I had been walking away with the intention of leaving them alone, when it dawned on me I had left the perfect way to take my mind off them, my drink.

By the time I was reaching for the glass, I watched silently as mom reached into the pocket of her robe and pull out the weapon. I didn't even know where it came from, but there she had it. No words left their mouth, but low mumbles filed out the room from mines. I hated my father for what he done to my mother, but I didn't wish death on anyone. Everyone had a right to live and try again. Even this man. It wasn't until she pointed the silver demon object to her temple that I realized it wasn't for Stephen. My mother was eliminating herself from the situation.

My screams and pleas for her stop and look at me, fell to deaf ears as the gun ranged off and her body fell to the floor. Her burgundy robe soaking most of the blood that spilled around her head.

“What are you doing, Kingston?"

I snapped out the four-day memory, coming eye to eye with half the reason I'm standing here. And honestly, one of the main reasons I maybe next to spill blood for this family.

"Nothing. Mike's playing ball, I'm going to head out."

“You tell me what you gon' do now?" He had the right to ask and as his child, I had no choice, but to respect the rules he had written for his home.

In this household you respect your parents, regardless of what kind they were. Stephen says it's because: "They kept you instead of killing you or giving you away to some stranger That's respect worthy."

"I had already asked....." Shaking my head, I shrugged, looking him in the eyes.

Master of your emotions.

“You wanna be with the FBI, son? Assassinate some people on the shit list? You ain’t no white man, but that's even better. You got school, you graduate in whatever major you want, but you come home to fight and kill for your country’s order."

“I guess."

Stephen's change in subjects caught me off guard, but I was so behind with caring about where life went after this, I didn't care what job I had after this tantrum finally played out.

I wasn't big on killing innocent people, but if it got my mind off my mother and the fact her ghost could still be lurking around. I’ll do it.

"Go out with your boys. We'll talk about it later."

It hasn't been a full week after my mother's death and Stephen was clearly moving on with his life.

This is exactly why she said fuck it.

—-

The flowers slipped from my hands, falling on to the granite grave site and my eyes went to the sky, nodding in acceptance once again as I built up the courage to walk away from here. One day; it won't be as hard. The day will come, but no therapist is going to force that shit out of me. Chrissie can have it, if she accepts it. As for me?

The only thing I had was time.

#J. Cole FF #FF #ohhh I'm scared of this #but okay

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eyez-ff-blog · 7 years

Text

○○ eyez | fifty-eight

Jermaine emerged backstage from the show he had just completed—San Antonio had been such a good crowd to him, and he couldn’t help but to be in a good mood as he was given remarks of praise and good will by the arena’s staff and personnel. He headed back towards the dressing room that was reserved for him, and he got himself a hot shower before he got out and dried himself off. After applying loation and deodorant, he slipped on a pair of boxers before putting on his basketball shorts and a tank. He put on his socks and shoes, and he made sure he had all of his items before leaving the dressing room. Two security guards walked with him towards his tour bus, and he was able to slip into the vehicle without much delay. He bid the guards good night, and after the driver made a stop at a local taco joint, the bus was on the road towards Houston. The rest of the crew and workers would be coming sometime within the morning, but J wasn’t looking to wait any longer. He wanted to get home to his family.

The tour had been going so well and it gave Jermaine a lot to think about; this really would be is possible last tour, and it was such a bittersweet feeling. He remembered the first time he ever went on the road, and the excitement and anxiety that came with it. He remembered the late night store runs and the hotel stays. He remembered the sights and landmarks that at one point almost didn’t seem real because he had never been there beforehand. He remembered seeing the crowds of people waiting in lines to see him. Back then it made no sense to him that anyone would want to see some random kid from Fayetteville. Now, he couldn’t help but to savor every moment he spent on the road now. As content as he felt about the decision to walk away after the tour concluded, he couldn’t help but to reminisce and feel the finality of everything. Even though he’d absolutely miss touring and making music, what he was giving it all up for meant so much more.

He remembered having thoughts like this when he was younger and just starting out—he looked up to the likes of Nas and Jay-Z, and saw how they had came from being in the streets to being music moguls in their own right. Then with time, they made themselves omnipresent so that they could be fathers to their children and husbands to their wives. Jermaine wasn’t sure how he felt about that back then; he could assume that then, he didn’t understand the concept of mortality. Now, he knew that every day was not a guarantee and with all that he had endured in 34 years, the idea was now imprinted within his mind. He had done everything he had set out to do and now he wanted to be the father he wished he had fully. As cool as he was with his father now, there were things he still longed for as a child. He never wanted Janiya or his son to ever have that longing.

Within the time it took for him to get back to Houston, he ate, napped, and wrote. He had been writing way more poetry and his mind just seemed to flood with words every time he was alone long enough to allow those words to flourish. He wondered if he’d ever put the words to beats, or if he would leave them for another time and head space. He just had so much to think about, and most of it concerned his son. The boy would come into this world any day now, and he was still terrified of the thought. He just wanted to be good enough for him. Jermaine wasn’t one to give a damn about anyone’s opinion before—critics, journalists, and naysayers were never the groups of people he truly cared to hear from. Even some of his fans only had a sliver of information about him. It was his family that he cared to hear from. How Beija and Janiya perceived him was so important, and how his son would see him would mean even more.

“Mr. Cole?” Jermaine glanced up towards he front of the bus. “I just hit the city limits. I need directions to the house,” Peeling himself off of the couch he was laying on, J made his way towards the front of the bus to direct the driver towards his home.

It was a little after 2 in the morning when Jermaine finally made it home. He grabbed his bags and headed off the bus, hearing it drive away as he headed up the walkway towards the front door. He used his keys to unlock the door, and he stepped inside to hear silence within the space. His first task he needed to get together was to wash his clothes—he was running low on clean ones, and he figured he might as well get himself together for when he had to get back on the road.

He heard Leo enter the laundry room a little while after he did, and he chuckled when he felt the dog’s small nose against his leg. “Hey, boy. You missed me?” Jermaine leaned down and petted Leo’s head before watching the dog roll over onto his back. “Spoiled ass,” He rubbed Leo’s stomach before he patted it gently. “Go back to bed,” He pointed out of the laundry room, and before long he was left alone to do his laundry. While the clothes washed, he went through his phone to text who he needed to, letting it be known that he made it home safely. Once the clothes were washed, he put them in the dryer to dry before he headed upstairs.

He checked in Janiya’s room first, seeing that the girl was sleeping. Her body was sprawled out across her bed, and he laughed to himself before he slowly entered the room. He fixed her up a bit before tucking her back in, kissing the side of her head before he left the room and shut the door. He continued down the hallway to the master bedroom, and he could hear the television on a low volume. Opening the door, he glanced over to see whatever infomercial was on TV. Beija laid in the bed sleeping, and he shook his head as he slipped off his sneakers.

Once he was comfortable enough to get into bed, he climbed in next to her before turning off the television and sitting the remote on the bedside table. He placed his phone on ‘do not disturb,’ and he wrapped an arm around his wife before he closed his eyes. He wouldn’t have long to sleep, but that was alright—he’d get a better night’s sleep tomorrow.

By the time he woke up, the sun had long shown itself—it was a little after 11 in the morning, and even though Jermaine was slightly exhausted, he knew he had to get up and help out downstairs. He could hear the bumping of music along with the whirring of a vacuum; more than likely his brothers-in-law were already here and Beija was probably working them to death. He slowly got out of bed and prepared another shower for himself. After going through his usual hygiene routines, he put on the white polo shirt and jeans that Beija laid out for him. He decided on a pair of blue and white sneakers to compliment the look before he headed downstairs.

The familiar tunes from Awaken, My Love! filled his ears as he saw Beija sitting on the couch, snapping her fingers as Kieran was cleaning around her. He chuckled to himself before he walked over to her, leaning down and kissing her forehead. “You better not be overworking these poor people,” He laughed a bit.

“Never,” She leaned up and kissed his lips before she rubbed her hand against his cheek. “How’d you sleep?”

“I slept okay. Anything left for me to do?” He asked.

“Go check on Marquis outside—he should be almost done with the meat, but if he needs any help go ahead and attend to that,” She instructed.

“Where’s Janiya?” He asked.

“She’s out there with him,” J nodded before he headed through the kitchen and headed towards the door that led to the back yard. He opened the door and he saw Marquis at the grill. The scent of food filled his nose and he groaned as he placed a hand to his stomach, seeing Janiya sitting in a closed off play area, playing with her toys.

“What’s up, big bro?” Marquis greeted, and the two of them dapped up before he attended back to the grill. Jermaine glanced over the hamburgers that were grilling.

“Not a thing, man—just got up. What all did you get done?” J asked.

“I got the ribs, sausage, boudin, and brisket done. Hamburgers and hot dogs are going on right now, then I’m doing steak and kebobs last,” Quis glanced over at the playpen to make sure Janiya wasn’t doing anything she wasn’t supposed to. “Niy, your daddy here,” He announced.

“Daddy!” Jermaine chuckled softly before he walked over to the playpen, picking her up out of the pen beore hugging her tightly. He smiled as she kissed his cheek, and he raised his eyebrows at he noticed the twists in her head.

“Oh, you got your hair like me. I see you mama,” He joked before he gently patted her back. “You being good for Uncle Quis?”

“Mhm,” She said, and he chuckled before kissing her forehead.

“Quis, I’ll go ahead inside and see if they need me to help with sides. If you need me just holler,” He said.

“Got you J,” Quis called over his shoulder, and Jermaine headed inside with Janiya in his arms. He headed into the kitchen to see Alonzo working at the stove.

“Hey Zo. You need any help?” He asked, and Alonzo nodded quickly as he glanced over at him.

“Yes, please. I didn’t realize how much food we had to cook. I’m never agreeing to do this again,” He said, and J laughed as he put Janiya down on the ground. “I’m working on the hot sides, so if you can get the cucumber salad together that would be great,” He said.

“Alright,” Jermaine headed for the fridge before taking out the cucumbers and the other needed vegetables, sitting them on the cutting board before grabbing a knife. He washed his hands thoroughly and then washed off the vegetables before he began to chop them up, nodding his head to the music as a means to keep him rhythm with his chops.

Jermaine couldn’t stay entirely too long at home—he was there long enough for the family to visit Rashaad’s grave as they did every year, release balloons for him, and get a plate of food before he was due at the Toyota Center for rehearsals. The rest of the day felt like a constant marathon. After rehearsals there was the usual sound check with the VIP recipients. After that, he took a moment to rest in his dressing room. He yawned slightly before he sunk into the couch that was in the room, and he closed his eyes slowly. If he could get in a small nap, he’d be okay.

A sharp knock at the door made his eyes fling open, and he huffed softly as he sat up. “Yeah?” He couldn’t hide his slight annoyance—he didn’t mean to sound so short with whoever was on the other side, but he was a lot more tired than he could have imagined at first.

The door opened, and it was one of the technical crew—the man looked urgent. “Hey, Cody told me to tell you that Beija called him; she’s in labor.”

Jermaine’s stomach flipped at the news, and he sat up quickly. “What? Fuck—where is she at? Is she okay?” He asked.

“She said she’s going to Texas Children’s; it’s right down the road from here. Her brothers took her down there,” The tech explained.

“Tell Cody to call her and say I’ll be there right after the show,” Jermaine said, and the tech nodded before he shut the door. Whatever sleep he wanted no longer seemed to be a factor; now, he was just worried about whether he’d make it to see his son being born. He was sure that she’d be in labor for quite a while, but he was anxious anyway—every moment passed felt longer than usual.

He used his anxiety as adrenaline and had put on an electrifying show for Houston; this place was like his second hometown now, and he could feel the love from the crowd. Every song was performed stronger, every moment felt intense, and the finale was beyond Jermaine’s expectation. As soon as he left stage though, his movements grew more antsy and with urgency. He hopped in the shower in his dressing room and he got dressed in comfortable clothes. As soon as he stepped out of the dressing room with his bag, he hurried to the tour bus to throw his bag onto the bus.

“Dame said that he, Bas, and Cody are waiting for you,” The driver announced.

“Thanks,” Jermaine grabbed his camera, phone, and other small items before he hurried off the bus and headed towards the SUV that most likely held his friends. Hopping into the backseat of the car, the SUV hurried off towards the hospital.

Bas handed Jermaine a bottle of water, and the man took it gratefully before uncapping it. Damon drove quickly through the after-concert traffic as Cody sat in the passenger’s seat. “Okay I just texted Ib—he said he taking a red eye down,” Cody announced.

“Shit, he didn’t have to do that,” J said as he relaxed into the seat, or at least as relaxed as he could be.

“We missed Niya being born—we’re not missing this,” Dame chuckled softly before he took a turn at the traffic light. “Is Beija in her room yet, B?”

“Uh…yeah, room 309 in the Maternity Ward,” Bas read over his phone.

“Alright, cool. You got everything you needed, J? Or am I gonna have to go back to the buses?” Dame asked.

“I got everything,” Jermaine ensured.

“Bet,” Dame nodded before he continued to focus on the road again.

Eventually the boys got to the hospital, and Jermaine took the quickest route he could towards the Maternity Ward; he stopped at the waiting room to greet his in-laws, but eventually he did reach Beija’s room.

“Baby?” He spoke once he opened the door, peeking inside as he saw Beija lying n bed. “Hey, it’s me,” He greeted.

“Hey,” Beija breathed slowly before she winced a bit, relaxing against the hospital bed. “How was the show?” She asked.

“It was straight—are you okay? You need anything?” He asked before he came around to sit by the bed.

“I’m good for now. I’m waiting for these drugs to kick in,” She said before she closed her eyes slowly. “I know they said any day now but I didn’t think it’d be this soon…” Beija mumbled, and J chuckled a bit as he reached to grab her hand.

“Lil’ man wants out, now. He’s run out of patience,” He said.

“I can agree with that, because he sure is kicking my ass,” Beija mumbled. “Fuck, what about tomorrow? How are we going to get through that?” She asked.

“Don’t worry about that right now. Worry about having our son—I’ll handle tomorrow when it’s time to,” J nodded, running his thumb over her knuckles. “Try closing your eyes and resting, we already know you’re going to be here a while,” He instructed.

He watched Beija close her eyes, and he squeezed her hand as she slowly let out another breath. “Jermaine?”

“Hm.”

“I’m glad you made it. I was scared you wouldn’t be here for this,” She said, and he smirked before le leaned down to kiss her hand.

“I would have canceled whatever I had to do if it was another day. I wasn’t missing this,” He assured her.

In the course of fourteen hours, Jermaine had slept and had some breakfast from downstairs—most of his in-laws and he and Beija’s mutual friends had come and gone in groups, and he was surprised to see that all of his friends had stayed the entire time; even Ibrahim had arrived as he had promised. Jermaine made some calls so that representatives of the charity would ensure to be there in he and Beija’s place for the rally that was held in the morning for the Freedom Festival. He was certain that he would possibly make it for the concert, but he knew the morning rally was out of the question. By the time he had gotten all of that taken care of, it was a little after 11 in the morning. Now he was sitting in the room with Beija, contemplating what he wanted to have for lunch—

“J, get the doctor!” Beija’s pained tone only spelt out one possible thing; it was time.

Jermaine quickly pressed the help button, and soon enough the nurses had come into the room to prep Beija for birth. The doctor came in soon after and Jermaine stayed by Beija’s side as the doctor prepared the c-section; since Janiya was born that way, that’s how this birth had to be as well. The whole process was about 30 minutes or so—it was 11:35 in the morning when Jermaine cut the umbilical cord, listening to the sounds of his crying son.

He watched as the nurses washed the boy off, and the doctor began to sew Beija back into the proper place. When both she and the baby were all cleaned up, they were allowed to see him. “Congratulations,” The nurse smiled as she passed the baby over to Beija.

Beija sniffed as she looked down at the baby, and Jermaine pulled out his camera, taping the two of them as they held each other close. “Look at him,” Beija whispered, and she whimpered as she leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Hi, handsome. I’m so happy to see you,” She said.

Jermaine couldn’t help but to smile himself, because he knew this meant so much to her. She wasn’t conscious when Janiya was born, and he could remember how hard it was for her to wake up and get the news that her first-born daughter almost ceased to be altogether. But now, she was able to hold her son in her arms, and he seemed to be just fine. The fact finally sat within Jermaine’s mind and he felt his stomach flutter again; he had a son.

“You wanna hold him, J?” His wife’s sweet tone filled his ears, and he nodded before he sat the camera down by her body. Once the baby was passed from her to him, Beija took the camera and did her best to tape the two of them together. “Isn’t he gorgeous, baby?” She asked.

“Absolutely,” J mumbled before he slowly rocked the child in his arms. “It was my turn to name a kid, right?” He asked.

“Yeah. And it’s gotta have my initials since Janiya has yours,” She reminded.

“I remember,” Jermaine smiled a bit as he gazed down at the baby boy. “Braeden Isaiah Cole. What’d you think?” He asked before he looked up at Beija.

“Perfect. Just perfect,” She grinned.

After getting Braeden registered and into the nursery, Jermaine reluctantly headed to where the festival would be—he had an obligation still, but he honestly wished he could spend a little more time with his son. He decided to spend the majority of the day among the people, buying some items from the businesses that were at the festival, and he took photos with fans that he came across. When it was close to time for him to perform, he headed back to his bus and changed into the outfit he’d be putting on, and headed back to the fairgrounds before he hid backstage and waited for his turn.

It was only minutes before he got on stage when he made a realization—he smiled to himself when it came upon him, and it made the show he performed mean so much more to him. He went through a master list of his hits from his mixtape days all the way to the more current favorites. He ended the set with Forever Boy, and he was absolutely amazed by the way the crowd knew every word. It filled his heart with joy because this was the moment he was sure that Beija envisioned since she started the charity. Now her brother’s memory was immortalized in the hearts of so many, and he’d never be forgotten.

“I’d like to thank y’all for coming out tonight, on behalf of me and my wife,” Jermaine began his closing speech—it was supposed to be Beija giving the speech but due to obvious circumstances she couldn’t be there. “This festival was a big thing for her—she wanted all of you to get a chance to have a beautiful night, but to also shed light on the goodness in our community. The media always tries to paint us in the worst light possible, and society thinks of us as nothing more than the slaves we descended from. But I’m here to tell you tonight, and to show you as living proof; we bigger than that. We always have been,” The crowd roared in approval, and he smiled as he looked among the thousands of faces that had attended the festival. “Over the past year of charitable events, we have raised millions of dollars and have been able to aid so many families that have suffered the same fate as my brother-in-law, and that makes me happier than any award, chart listing, or dollar could ever make me. Today is the anniversary of Rashaad Demarco’s tragic death, but me and my family always looked at it as a celebration of life. Now, I can truly say it is. Earlier this morning, my second child was born,” He announced, and the mixture of applause and surprise seemed to sweep over the crowd. “And I’d just like to think that it was no coincidence that the birth of my child happened on a day like this. So Rashaad—we see you, bro. We feel you tonight. Thank you so much. And thank y’all for coming out.”

As soon as he finished his speech, the fireworks show began, and he hurried off the stage as he heard the crowd applaud. He passed the microphone to one of the attendees, and he hurried back towards the tour bus to change his clothes and head back to the hospital. He was due to Austin the next morning to continue the tour, so he wanted to squeeze in a little more time with his wife and children. As he was driven back to the hospital, he could still see fireworks being lit into the sky. He couldn’t help but feel like his brother-in-law’s spirit was not just within his son but all over the city, and it made him feel nothing but joy.

Once Jermaine returned to the hospital, he made his way towards Beija’s room, delightfully surprised to see she and Ibrahim in the room together, laughing and talking as she held Braeden in her arms. “Hey, y’all having a party?” He greeted.

“Yo, what’s good man? I got to stream your set on TIDAL, and it was amazing,” Ib stood up before the two men shared a brief hug. “And congratulations on my nephew! Welcome to the Two Kid Club,” He laughed.

“Thank you, thank you. Good to be a part,” He chuckled before he moved to sit down next to Beija, who was so wrapped up in her child that she didn’t seem to be listening. “Hey baby…did you see the show?” He asked.

“Yes I did. And it was amazing,” Beija lifted her gaze to meet Jermaine’s and she flashed him a soft smile. “I’m proud of you, Jermaine. And I can’t believe I didn’t realize what today was. Not until you said it,” She added.

“I’m telling you…your brother blessed y’all with your son,” Ib was always one to believe in the higher power for as long as Jermaine had known him. It was Ibrahim’s faith that brought some of Dreamville out of some of their darkest times, and even helped J through his own questions of belief. Now, J felt like he was on the same page with Ibrahim this time around. Maybe Rashaad had placed a blessing upon the child.

“Hm, you think so?” Beija chuckled a bit before she glanced back down at Braeden. “What do you think, J?” She asked.

“I believe it. For once, I do believe it. If there is a God, there must be angels. He protected our girl, and he made sure that today stopped being one that reminded you of a bad memory. We can remember his life now…and Braden’s,” J kept his eyes on his son as he spoke, and a smile crossed his face.

As the night rolled on, eventually Beija had went to sleep and everyone else had went home. Jermaine had stayed behind to be with Beija, but he couldn’t sleep just yet. He just stood in front of the nursery window as he watched the babies sleep in their cribs. There were so many within the enclosed space that had been born on the same day or some days before; all of them maybe held a spirit of someone who lived a life before them. Maybe, just maybe, these babies held old souls that pressed the reset button and were either getting another go around on life’s crazy ride or were getting a second chance at life. Either way, Jermaine found himself amazed at the power of it all. He watched Braeden slightly shift in his small crib, and he couldn’t help but to feel complete. Now, two souls would walk this earth with his blood infused within them. They’d be the product of the love he shared with one of the strongest women he knew, and they would grow up to change the world in their own special way. Maybe J would be done having children with Beija or maybe there would be more, but there would be no award or accolade that Jermaine could receive that would ever compare to the legacy he was creating with his wife. He and Beija were building a home worth living in, and it made him feel as if he was the man that he always wanted to be, finally.

He glanced up at the ceiling of the hallway he stood in, and he smiled slightly. “Lesson learned.”

#j cole fanfic #j cole fanfiction #j. cole ff #j. cole fanfic #j. cole fanfiction

15 notes · View notes

go-redgirl · 5 years

Video

youtube

Kim Clement Prophecy 2014 of Donald J. Trump Election Chosen By Almighty God Who He Called His ‘David’.

234,010 views

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INDIVIDUALS/COMMENTS/POSTS:

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REPLY Caroline Rothstein God bless the Trump family

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Passionate Truth Network REPLY Viviana Hetnandez The Lord's hand is upon president Trump..Thanks to our Lord Jesus Is coming to pass now.. Allelulla!

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REPLY Passionate Truth Network Look at all the prophets in the USA speaking "GLOOM & DOOM" over America! Kim Clement said it wasn't time for the destruction of America...so there are some prophets who prophesy incorrectly...but Kim Clement and Mark Taylor have been very accurate in the prophesies they have given!

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Passionate Truth Network

REPLY Pata Mo Thank you Father for President Trump! Thy will be done Father ❤️🇺🇸

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REPLY Truther777 Q just said "we have the gold" Q said it would bring down the federal reserve that's been robbing the people

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l kern watch how potus turns around and salutes the soldier at the stairs. that was real appreciation for the service of another human being, and Melania believes the words of her prayer. America is blessed.

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REPLY sjurdurkjv Wonderful. I'm crying for the first time in 25 years

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Cheryl Clarke No doubt whatsoever that Donald J. Trumps being elected Potus is sure divine intervention as there ain’t any person at present on earth who could possibly achieve what he has/is not only for his beloved USA but the world..Americans should be so grateful to have such a great leader..

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GOD IS GOOD, GOD IS THE TRUTH.. BLESSINGS TO MR PRESIDENT, MELANIA AND ALL AMERICANS

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REPLY Kerry Weston I liked Donald J. Trump before he ran for president and he has turned out to be the best president we've ever had. Unlike all the others, he speaks the truth and actually does what he says he will do.

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Passionate Truth Network REPLY Theresa Petekiewicz The Giants of the Federal Reserve in the Rothschild family. The giant of George Soros and the giant of NWO and the giant of national debt. Amen Lord Jesus you are all-powerful all-seeing and all-knowing. We need to pray daily for president Trump and all the white hats.

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REPLY Stev op62 THANK YOU LORD For coming to Save Us ! I Love You

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Summer Raines Love POTUS Trump & FLOTUS Melania!!! ❤💙

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Cookie N Creams God bless TRUMP... sending love to TRUMP from the United kingdom... His a good man.. b4 he ran and after he won.. he has kept his word... PRESIDENT TRUMP is the peoples PRESIDENT... God bless you AMERICA.. TRUMP 2020

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Carola Press Deliver this nation from evil Lord God! We call upon your name!

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Tread Softly I love my President and my First Lady they are beautiful loving and caring people!

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Leona Sammy God said he will built a wall for protection around this country . so why people against Trump building the wall to protect the broader

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REPLY Jose Roberto Menendez God bless our President, God bless America.

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Eric Trevi Two Supreme Court Judges have recently been appointed by President Trump.

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REPLY Victorious Pauper ISRAEL ......IS...... FOREVER !!!!

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Lisa Bannon God Bless Kim Clement!! Always and RIP what a great prohphet ... Sadly will be missed...

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REPLY hexencoff I hope that everyone is as honored as I am to have the privilege to say that we lived among the greatest of men like Kim Clement and our beloved President Donald J Trump!!! RIP Kim the world is by far a lesser place without you!!! Soar with eagles my brother for you have earned your wings I only pray to one day join you!!!

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Jorge Hernandez God choice nothing will stop his desire...2 terms

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REPLY angi seb AMEN OUR GOD DOES NOT LIE MAGA ......😘😘😘😘😘😘

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mary howland Thank God for giving us Trump for our president. I believe Kim is a true phrophet of God. I pray for all of us and God bless our country.

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REPLY Linda Bezecny Dear Lord Please Product Our President Donald Trump! Keep Him From The Evil Doers! Like The Ones Who Killed President Lincoln, Kennedy And His Son, And Brother! Also The Insanity Of Shooting President Reagan! Amen. \O/

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Cheryl Clarke Melania Trump is a Flotus Americans at last can be so very proud of...beautiful, stylish, classy, speaks “5” languages fluently...wowwwww what a combination!!!

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Diana Prince wow, such beautiful singing by that young lady. Gave me goosebumps.

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REPLY xee doll I wish they would say the Lords Prayer more often 🙏🏼

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Yoleta Trujillo Focus! Don’t be weary in well doing. It is our responsibility to not faint. Be the Spiritual Warriors God called us to be!

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Geri Messina Does everyone know all that has been going on behind the scenes to implement the plan as God briefly described here? There IS a magnificent plan that is brilliant and could only have been orchestrated, implemented by God!

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Lisa Bannon Thank you father God! For our President Mr Trump and his beautiful wife, I'm proud to call our first lady, thank you and praise you Yahweh praise you always...

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Anthony Lucky Powerful! Give glory to the Lord! Thank you for putting this together. Blessings to this channel.

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Sofiani Adams Thank you to our father in heaven for sending President Trump to us. Thank my dear Lord..AMEN.

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IP Rainwater It's happening now...Q

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Eileen Q Patriot I just learned about him - he's amazing.

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Chi88LuckHolistic

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS POTUS!!! GOD anointed President Trump to save America eventually the world from the destruction by the deep state.

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Ed Bernardo THAT'S why he was crying out to God in the Rose garden. He was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit, crying out to God.

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REPLY Many don't agree with me but there was a massive red Tsunami that happened on the just passed midterm elections, Does anyone realize the victory the Republicans just got in the Senate?

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REPLY Darryl Cole I MISS KIM ( R.I.P.) & would love to have a Cool Ministry like that..!!! I'm a Drummer if anyone has Ministry like that and needs MUSICIANS let me know... We're Good & Ready...!!! and have all the equipment(PA)and instruments....,!!! Praise God

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REPLY Angela Becerra Thanks to God! Thank you Mr.& Mrs. TRUMP.....

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REPLY Janice Andreyka Kim Clement will be missed.. God bless his family !

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REPLY Bobby D I was weary of Mr Trump when I heard he was running. I was afraid for the American people 🇺🇲 Though I'm from Ireland 🇮🇪 I KNOW GOD & have always believed and knew, AMERICA was Chosen by God. And now I believe God has chosen Mr Trump & His Beautiful WIFE. God Bless America 🇺🇲 and God Bless your President 🇺🇲 Shine on, Shine on, Love & Blessings from Ireland America ❤️❤️❤️🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪

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REPLY Renee Mendias This is SO Powerful!! Listen to it again and again, embrace and pray it, witness it come to pass in the present age!

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REPLY YO All I can say is "WOW", this is amazing! AMEN!!!!

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REPLY matt noah Today president Trump and leader Kim of North Korea met! Looking back on these prophecy wow, what an awesome God we serve! Lord God continue to bless Donald Trump with your wisdom!

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REPLY Oh No GO MELANIA!!!!! Woot woot!!!!! 👍👍👍💐💐💐💐💐💐🇺🇸

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REPLY LARRY FARVER THANK GOD FOR KIM AND TRUMP. MOSTLY FOR JESUS.

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REPLY Gerardo Sanchez The earth and heaven will pass but! my words shall never ever pass amen to the Glory of God for ever. GBUA

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REPLY Marti True Tears in eyes. My heart is full

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REPLY Tammy Eaton Jesébel was a Baal-worshipping CRUEL WOMAN-she was INVOLVED WITH THE OCCULT—likewise HILDEBEAST will NOT become PRESIDENT-she did NOT ASCEND. She HAS the SPIRIT OF JEZEBEL! Hillary’s LUCIFERIAN WORSHIP is being EXPOSED. It’s been DISMISSED as FAKE NEWS-THAT is because they’re SCARED!

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REPLY inhisfootsteps That plan is happening now. as of 5/1/2018

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REPLY CLAY Thomas I'VE NEVER HEARD A FIRST LADY SAY A PRAYER, LET ALONE THE APOSTLE'S PRAYER. (JESUS GAVE IT AS AN EXAMPLE TO THE APOSTLES) The Apostles said 'Lord teach us to pray', the Lord said in Luke 11, a model of prayer for the Apostles to follow. A template if you will. 1. To glorify God and praise His Hallowed name

2.To support and pray for His Kingdom to be reflected on the Earth

3. To assure us that we will always and every day have the Holy Bible with which to feed us through the Holy Spirit

4. To forgive us our sins as we confess them to Him with a contrite heart and in turn forgive those who cause us pain and sorrow in our daily lives (for they know not what they do)

5. God will not allow us to bear a burden we are not capable of bearing, He knows exactly what we can handle (lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, the believer will be delivered from the pain and suffering of the world, through the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

John Nowakowski The other "Snowdon" was Jullian Assange...

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Jack Frost Hell kill the giant just as David did, with faith. Hallelujah!!!!!

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Lovie Love God continue to bless the USA 🇺🇸 with this President and his family. TRUMP 2020.

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latafairam A true servant of God.

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ChildOfGod 22 Amen!!! Trump will carry out God's plan!!! Two supreme court Justices and a third retiring in January 2019!!!! Amen! God bless President Trump!

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REPLY Peggy Turner - Blue Marlin Real Estate God has BLESSED our Nation once more with a President after God's own heart.

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REPLY mary trammell Israel Is FOREVER!

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REPLY J Leo We love you Mr. And Mrs. President!!! Thank you for being REAL...being true Patriots. God bless you. MAGA!

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REPLY Jennifer Ward God Bless President and Melania Trump!! Hallelujah!!! Go God!!!

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REPLY jennifer wilson This is a Gold Mine for me. Thanks you LORD.

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REPLY Sammie Germany That is our beautiful First Lady.

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REPLY patricia belgrave DEAR GOD- DO NOT LET YOUTUBE TAKE THIS VIDEA DOWN- IF THEY DO- PLEASE PUNISH THEM. AMEN.

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REPLY Amy Manus True,True prophet of GOD!! #ISRAEL IS FOREVER!!!!!!!!!😇👼👏

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REPLY M1M P Wow - the church of God needs to wake up for a slumber

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REPLY JC 1 He was rejected by the Republicans because they said: this man is a child in politics.

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REPLY Ted Nanc

Beautiful prophet of God.........

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REPLY Dan Mefford Absolutely amazing

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REPLY Joseph Bezzi GODBLESS PRESIDENT TRUMP the Glory and Praise to FATHER GOD ALMIGHTY

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