In regards to why Yue Qingyuan is like that when it comes to Shen Jiu, I have some thoughts.
To begin with, I always interpreted their relationship as purely platonic/familial (though perhaps with potential to turn into something else had things been different. I think their personalities are compatible in that way.)
Because of that, I empathize with Yue Qingyuan from my place as the oldest sibling, and because of it I think I can understand him when it comes to his behavior regarding Shen Qingqiu. (Because of that, I admit I'm not objective, so don't take this as a serious analysis and just my thoughts)
And for this I feel that Yue Qingyuan, more than allowing Shen Qingqiu to do what he pleases because he feels guilty, feels responsible for Shen Qingqiu's actions. He doesn't let Shen Qingqiu abuse his disciples, be hostile towards their fellow peak lords, and "engage in debauchery" just because he doesn't want to further strain their relationship, but because all of this is his fault.
When Shen Yuan first transmigrated and Yue Qingyuan asked him to stop punishing Luo Binghe, it didn't feel like he was making an attempt to stop Shen Qingqiu from further abusing the boy, but like the admonishment of an older sibling telling their little brother to stop acting a certain way. A "why are you doing this? You are not getting anything out of it, there's no reason for this other than you being cruel, stop it." Had Yue Qingyuan been making an attempt to stop him from harming his disciple, he would've actually put an end to it. He's the sect leader, he could just take Luo Binghe to another peak if not outright order Shen Qingqiu to stop.
There was a time my younger sister started bullying a classmate, she didn't see it as such, and I know she's not purposely cruel but she was young and thoughtless. In that situation I didn't take the other kid's side and reprimanded her harshly, yelled at her for being mean, ordered her to stop. I asked her why she did that (boy was annoying/everybody else was doing it too (and so it couldn't be wrong)) and told her that what she was doing was cruel, that everybody was being cruel to that boy, explained to her how bullying works, asked her how would she feel if she was annoying and everybody made fun of her, and asked her if she wanted to be a bully.
Yue Qingyuan said something along the lines of ''that boy hasn't done anything wrong, he tries so hard, aren't you tired? Hasn't it been enough?" He didn't take Luo Binghe's side like he should have, but he appealed to Shen Qingqiu's logic. He knew Shen Qingqiu and had an idea of why he was doing it, and addressed it calmly, tried to convince him to stop because there was no point, he was only making himself angry. He wasn't assertive either, only coaxing, because he also felt all of this was his fault. And not only that;
I believe Yue Qingyuan genuinely loved Shen Qingqiu, but he didn't like him anymore, and he felt terrible for it. He cared so much for him, yes, Shen Qingqiu was the only person he actually cared about and he couldn't be objective when it came to Shen Qingqiu. But he was constantly exasperated by him, he was so disappointed, and he knew he could like him again if Shen Qingqiu just stopped acting so caustically. But what right did he have to dislike Shen Qingqiu after how he failed him? If Shen Qingqiu acted like this it was because he was hurt, and whose fault was that?
Love and like do not always go hand in hand.
Think about a parent, a friend, a sibling, an aunt or an uncle. Someone you loved so much as a child and who was good to you. Someone who gave you gifts and played with you and heard you ramble and rant for hours, who defended you from others, who always had a smile for you. Now think about the time you realized they were a bigot, or that they yell to waiters, are cruel to animals. That they hit their partners or their children. You felt disappointed (and even betrayed) but you still loved them, you just didn't like them anymore, and you could no longer trust them, but if something happened to them, you'd be inconsolable. And you just know that if they just stopped you would like them again, you'd be so proud, you'd be so happy. In many cases like this what actually happens is that people feel guilty for loving someone so awful. In Yue Qingyuan's case, he felt guilty for not liking him.
Shen Jiu was not a good man, but he was hurt and the world had never been kind to him, so Yue Qingyuan took it upon himself to be unconditionally kind to him (even if he didn't realize that the way he chose to be kind also hurt Shen Qingqiu) and Yue Qingyuan was also the reason why Shen Qingqiu was so hurt, if Shen Qingqiu was cruel or violent, the blame fell on Yue Qingyuan's shoulders. How could he even dare to side eye Shen Qingqiu for how he behaved, when he wouldn't be like this if it weren't for Yue Qingyuan?
Yue Qingyuan's guilt doesn't come solely from not getting Shen Qingqiu out of Qiu manor, but from every single consequence that followed his failure. He's at fault for any and all of Shen Qingqiu's sins. He is also the only person who will ever be good to Shen Qingqiu, who knows he isn't the monster he made himself to be. He has no right to be disappointed in Shen Qingqiu's actions because they are his fault, he would never dare impose his own will above Shen Jiu's because hasn't Shen Jiu been subjected enough to the whims of others? he will never use his authority to stop him, he's the only ally Shen Jiu has, and he's also the only person in the whole sect with power over Shen Qingqiu, not only because of his position as sect leader, but because of how well he knows Shen Qingqiu, his secrets, his past and weaknesses. This puts him in a position to hurt Shen Qingqiu in ways no other could, to damage beyond what any other would be able to.
Yue Qingyuan's regrets are way more complex than what people make them out to be. Yue Qingyuan is aware that his silence about the fact that he did come back but was too late wounds Shen Qingqiu deeply, and the longer he doesn't explain himself the more Shen Qingqiu hurts. But this is also the only way he has of punishing himself, and he also feels guilty about it.
Imagine how he must see his own situation, Yue Qingyuan is respected and well liked, rich and powerful, he will never have to submit to other's wishes, he is free, untouchable, his brother is alive and healthy and close by. He has it all and more than he ever dreamed of, and deserves none of it, how could he ever allow himself to be forgiven? When in the end he's the person who has hurt Shen Jiu the most.
There are more reasons why he keeps quiet about the Linxi caves, most stem from trauma, and I believe his own need for punishment is one of them.
So when I see his behavior being reduced to ''he doesn't want for sqq to hate him more'' or ''he's just ashamed and guilty'' I feel sad because, Shen Jiu might be the most misunderstood character by other characters in the story. But Yue Qingyuan is the most misunderstood character by the fandom.
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had a scary dream last night abt inheriting an old abandoned mansion & getting involved in cult activity/a family curse/murders/town secrets/hidden rooms/horror/etc. scary! awful!! but when the plot of the dream was over i spent the rest of the night lucid dreaming about the history of the mansion & previous owners, interior design & layout, the property it was on, the main & minor characters of the town, etc.
a lot of the history of the mansion was people would only live in it for a short time (bc it was so spooky & cursed) then theyd either sell it for super cheap or abandon it, & then the next people would move in. the previous owner of the house gave it to me specifically & then mysteriously disappeared... turns out i was distantly related to a previous owner decades ago (maybe the original owners?) who had it in the family for a few generations before abandoning it.
it was closely tied with a decrepit old local library with a sealed basement and a secret "aurora room" that could only be accessed by the cult/local town government. there were so many rumors. i decided the town was a hotspot for alien activity in the 1950s. the mansion has a small graveyard somewhere in the dense forest area on its large property. the graveyard was small but at the same time alarmingly big for a private residence?? u know?? there are rumors of a husband drowning his wife in the small pond in the 1880s.
there was a room in the mansion i couldn't get into because i didn't have the key. i discovered a room that had been wallpapered over many decades ago that had a suspicious stain on the floor. the same man had been tending to the property since before its last period of abandonment & he kept coming to maintain the landscape and i dont know who was paying him.... etc etc etc fun stuff
i had to get that all written down before i forgot everything lmao thanks for reading
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bg3 origin characters ranked by how fitting/interesting their body types are
lae'zel. not immune to identical attractive female video game character syndrome by any means, but believably sinewy for a person who comes from a background of combat training and strict religious discipline. it doesn't just imply the unhealthy conditions of her upbringing it also nicely mirrors her temperament
karlach. i like a lot of things about karlach's design -- her bigness, her burn scars, etc. however she SHOULD have been fat. this opinion is not predicated on any kind of thematic reasoning i'm just a horny dyke. if karlach had been big and fat and buff fucking nobody would have been able to stop me
wyll. like the one male companion who makes the shrinkwrapped muscle thing work -- the fact that he looks like an action figure dovetails well with the blade of frontiers persona and begs the question of how much of it is genuine and how much of it is an act.
astarion. astarion's like. i get it. he used his looks to lure victims to his master. fine. but the fact that he looks like a model even with his shirt off is boring. it would've been way more interesting and thematically resonant if he looked like an adonis with his clothes on but underneath, once the layers of obfuscation and pretense had been stripped away, he was just kinda skinny and weird-looking and average.
shadowheart. was like, designed in a lab to be as attractive as possible and it makes her deeply, deeply uninteresting. sorry
gale. WHY DOES HE HAVE A SIX PACK
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So let me get this straight. TOTK!Rauru had repeatedly requested that the Gerudo join the ‘protective embrace’ of his kingdom, to serve him. Protection from whom? The monster clans? If anything, the Gerudo seem at the peak of their power! They have some measure of control over the molduga, the fiercest of the desert’s monsters. It’s also established elsewhere that the Secret Stones merely amplify one’s existing power—that one would catapult Ganon to near-unstoppable heights speaks of his already formidable might. With him at the helm, the Gerudo were ready and willing to invade Hyrule. Until Rauru demonstrated a superweapon that quite literally vaporized any notion of a military assault—a superweapon that Rauru (and his cohort) brazenly wears. Ganon is entreating a party wearing nuclear launch codes around their necks! And those aren’t even the only Secret Stones in Rauru’s possession, later handing those out as he sees fit to the Sages. Of course, the narrative portrays Rauru as someone who would never abuse that kind of power—he’s a Good King. But that’s a terrifying Sword of Damocles.
Yep. Pretty much.
Also I'd like to point out that apparently, Rauru's "sin", and what passes off as his character arc (so far, I haven't finished the whole game yet), is that he was too confident that he'd keep Ganondorf under control as a vassal? Like, okay what were the options otherwise? What should he have done that he didn't do? Like in OoT/TP beforehand: was Rauru supposed to simply imprison the king of a foreign nation just because he didn't pass the vibe check --or worse, kill him off? And then what happens to the gerudo? I feel like we've gone down this road before, and it didn't lead anywhere pretty...
This is what I mean about the poor character writing in this game: I think Rauru is supposed to be the emotional core of the story, and he might be the only one with an "arc" so far, but his flaw/regret is... a whole bunch of nothing? Unless you think he should have commited genocide to protect his kingdom from evil, according to the game that refuses to examine his actions/power, there's nothing he should have done differently besides... not having his wife be murdered? That's not a character arc, that's just an unfortunate event you participated in unwillingly!! To make a comparaison that is worth being brought up: the king of Hyrule in BotW worked much better in that regard, because he is indeed partially responsible for the fall of his kingdom through the pressure he inflicted upon his daughter and the prideful belief that he could control a force of nature (Calamity Ganon being treated as such in that game) through technology; both of these attitudes costing him everything, condemning his daughter to a century-long fight and said technology ruling the lands through terror in his stead. As a ghost, he haunts the wreckage waiting for the hero to wake up to try and finally correct his mistakes through Link.
I think they kind of wanted to do that again in TotK, but it extremely doesn't land in my opinion because Rauru has no flaw --beyond, apparently, not being bigoted enough?
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forgive me my demons but i see this take so much and it drives me a little crazy . c!Sam is stupid, obviously. He has no self-awareness, he somehow completely misses on the fact that his actions have social ramifications, he has a sense of entitlement a mile high and thinks that everyone automatically should fall in line and agree with his authority just because he decides that he has it. he navigates conversations with the grace of a wrecking ball because he assumes that everyone will agree with him being In The Right and therefore doesn't actually go for much more convincing half the time than "do what i say or you'll end up locked up in an inescapable prison." his moral compass is a roulette wheel and his justifications incomprehensible.
but at the same time, c!Sam is far from unintelligent. like, not just anyone was going to CREATE and then RUN pandora's fucking vault. he made a world eater ?? if there's like anyone on the server that could reasonably create shit to cause mass destruction across the server other than like the literal fucking nukes, then yeah it'd be him, see the world eater again. sure, he makes the craziest fucking assumptions off the fact that he's Right And Justified And The Ultimate Authority And Everyone Should Agree With That, but he's also able to lie and manipulate and gaslight and coerce and threaten pretty much without breaking a sweat if he ever deems doing so necessary for his own goals, and it's not like the methods by which he does so are like, all that clumsy either. like people absolutely bought his whole deal early on in the prison arc, believing him to be a well-meaning, burdened Warden doing Whatever It Takes for the good of the server, which did in large part have to do with how his character talked about the prison to others and such, etc. just because c!sam is crazy bonkers and expects his ex to forgive him chopping their arm off doesn't mean that he's completely incapable of being pretty damn convincing at some points.
and like, even more importantly, his being dumb really didn't make him ANY less intimidating. i'd argue that it made him A LOT WORSE, honestly! just because his moral bullshit is twisted up in knots doesn't mean that he's any less dangerous for it. c!sam is, honestly, from the top of my head, one of the most casual about being violent on the server, purely because he believes he has a Right to it. he believes that people owe him obedience by virtue of who he is. he threw several people into pandora's vault WITHOUT LIKE, ANYONE KNOWING just because he decided that they deserved to be put in prison. he kidnaps a toddler??? c!Sam really doesn't bend himself in half trying to justify things according to someone else's moral system; as he literally does in that one scene with c!Bad during the stream where they investigated Sam Bucket, he literally just. is the epitome of the guy that lets himself do shit because he has a self-written permit that says i do what i want. the only thing getting in the way of c!sam's bullshit is c!sam, and i think that people honestly chronically overestimate how much he holds himself back from horrific violence. he stabbed a teenager to Make A Point about his authority? he repeatedly threatens hannah, one of his own employees, because of things she did while being mind controlled--and then like, uses this to excuse himself of? workplace harassment? in the stream after techno escapes with dream, he literally MAKES UP A REASON to be really fucking angry at dream and then threatens TO TORTURE HIM over it. when new people joined the server he would threaten them with a sword for asking questions about the prison in a way that seemed too 'dream sympathetic.' and he regularly tells people that he would commit all the atrocities again, including ponk, because he's entirely 100% convinced that everything he does is justified?
and a lot of the stuff people hold against him, like. sure, his plan to contain technoblade didnt work, but it SURE DID WORK BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE THAT TRIED, DIDNT IT? like techno would've been decently screwed if he didn't have a statis chamber set up. and well, the situation with dream speaks for itself--he was stuck in there for ten months. a lot of what people attribute to c!Sam's stupidity really does very little if anything to make him less scary--less effective, maybe, but for every time his moral bullshit gets in the way of him getting something that he wants there's probably a few other times you can find where his ability to justify himself out of anything makes him do something fucking ridiculous . anyway i dont even have a point to all of this except c!sam is scary as fuck bro
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