#Idk I needed them being soft | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

piplupod · 2 months

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i feel like i am losing my mind a little bit bc i spent over half of my counselling appt talking about my fear of spiders and this lady kept telling me i should just kill them, and that the only way to get over my fear is to kill them, and i shouldnt catch and release them anymore ??

and now i am thinking about it and wondering do they actually remember how to get into the house,,,,,, if i put them way on the other side of the house in the garden under a plant where its safe, will they just... come back inside? because I don't remember ever seeing any duplicates of spiders that I caught and released, it seems to always be a different looking one each time so :|

but she just seemed so confused and kind of amused by me trying to explain how i think that like... every life has value and I don't think I should be killing spiders if I can avoid doing that. and she straight up laughed at me saying that they are fascinating very interesting little critters.

i don't know, i just feel kind of sick i think. that was just really not what i was expecting and I'm confused like... is this ... the only way I can get over my fear of them? to just start killing them whenever i find one in the house?? that doesn't seem right at all to me but maybe I'm being too soft or something

they talk about values in DBT and how you must make sure your actions don't go against your values, and this seems very backwards to that, especially since this woman started the DBT program at the hospital. so i feel like maybe it's wrong of her to be telling me this, but also maybe she's right about this. idk !!!

#im just very confused #i just... should we not extend kindness to insects when we can?#like yes theyre creepy crawlies and they get into things but... they are also living creatures #they have inherent value just on account of being alive #maybe i am too sentimental or soft or smth idk im really upset abt this fdsjkl #i've always felt this way idk dsfjkl it is just a part of me i guess #i dont like how so many humans think they are top of the chain and everything else is lesser and below them #i dont think we should be feeling like we have total dominion over all the other living things on earth #its... a very white christian colonizer way of thinking. in my opinion anyways. maybe im wrong idk #i can't google the thing abt if spiders have a good memory and sense of direction bc i will find Too Much info or photos #and i . would like to sleep tonight.#im already so agitated though so idk but fsdjkl im kind of scared what i might find by lookign things up #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #spider tw

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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months

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Speaking of ocs, I have no idea why I deleted this drawing off here. I think I hated it when I finished it, and now I looked back on it and I'm like, this is pretty okay??

#also I hate how you guys have literally sent asks for my oc game(thanks!!!!)#but i still feel this weird 'oh god im being so annoying' ickyness #will i never be freed from the prison which is my own head #im like ah i need to draw ocs more :) its comforting #and then i start drawing them more #and my brain starts clawing itself abt having not drawn any fanart in a bit #tbf i dont really have good ideas for either 😭😭#but thank you guys for supporting my recent endeavors :)#even if i still feel anxious abt it. all your asks have made me feel very soft <3 #but yah idk i try to engrain in myself: my blog i do what i want #and then i still get insecure abt being annoying. but you guys dont care :) so i need to stop caring #idk i think people could literally yell at me that im not being annoying and id still have to go lay in the dark +#and have an entire self monolog to myself abt how im a plague upon this world #catie.art.

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alchemania · 6 months

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Be At Rest (Both Soul and Body)

Furina barely, if ever, caught Wanderer sleeping. He was always on the move, often whizzing by in a blue and white blur - or simply blending in with the crowds in Sumeru, allowing himself to sink into the sea of people around him.

So when she found him resting in the forest with a rather rotund bird on his head, the sight had her speechless for a good few moments. Not wanting to disturb his peace, Furina tiptoed closer and sat next to him as quietly as possible, folding her hands over her lap as she observed the sky- the clouds drifted lazily overhead, and she found herself relaxing, the air calm and warm. Looking back over to her companion, Furina wondered if he was truly sleeping, or just resting. Curious, she lifted a finger and gently poked his cheek, and an indigo eye opened instantly.

"What," he said, voice heavy with weariness.

"Were you sleeping?"

And just like that, the slight irritation she'd come to know shone through in his gaze. "I was TRYING to. Before somebody decided to bother me."

"..ah, sorry. I can lea-"

"I didn't ask you to go," he went on, closing his eye again and shifting so he was on his back. "As long as you stay quiet, it's fine." He folded his hands over his belly then, sighing, and Furina couldn't help but giggle - he looked like a little tired old man, and he acted about as crabby as one sometimes too, honestly. "The hell is so funny?"

"You look like a little old man," the white haired girl grinned, more giggles bubbling out of her, and the offense on Wanderer's face was palpable.

"I do not."

"You act like one, too. Crabby little guy who pretends he doesn't like anyone -"

"I don't pretend not to like people," he countered.

"..okay, but you do care a lot more than you let on."

".. I didn't know this was a character evaluation," Wanderer deadpanned, but the way his voice softened let Furina know she wasn't far off track.

"S'not a bad thing to care, you know."

A pause.

".. I know. A heart is a very heavy burden to carry though, sometimes. Almost too heavy."

"I think that's what makes us human though," the girl replied gently, also shifting so she was laying a few feet away from the young man. "The weight of - feeling, of loving, and holding things dear to us, and hurting when they're gone- that's a part of living."

"..hm."

"And yeah, hearts are a very heavy burden. But you don't have to carry it alone, either. Remember that." Furina looked up to the sky again, folding her hands over her breast, and Wanderer looked to her briefly with an unreadable (but visibly softer) expression before closing his eyes once more. A comfortable silence fell, and the warmth of the sun had Furina taken by slumber before she knew it.

When she woke up, the stars had already started to twinkle in the sky, and the girl sat up, slightly discombobulated. Sniffling, she rubbed at her eyes to wipe away her weariness, and then froze in her tracks when something akin to a sob broke the silence. For a moment, she thought she had imagined it, but then it came again, louder, and she turned to her companion, crawling over on her hands and knees. "Wanderer...?"

He didn't answer, but the tears rolling down his cheeks told her everything she needed to know. "Oh..." Furina's heart clenched, and she gently placed a hand to his back. "Hey ..hey, it's okay, it's just a dream, you're alright." Carefully, she reached out her free hand and patted him gently on the cheek, hoping to rouse him- if he was crying, his nightmare must be something awful. "Come on. Wake up."

Wanderer stirred, but did not wake, and to her shock, he began to mumble in his slumber:

"Please don't leave...don't leave me behind...."

"I'm not going anywhere," Furina assured.

"Mother," Wanderer begged, tears falling faster. "I'll do anything, just don't leave me here alone -"

Oh.

"Wake up," Furina pleaded, shaking him harder, and he did, taking a sharp gasp and settling into raggedly breathing. Wanderer looked around frantically, not quite awake yet, and she took his hand, to ground him. "You're okay. It was just a dream, it's alright -" the young man stiffened once he seemed to realize she was there, freezing up like a startled cat who had just been cornered.

"What - what are you doing here?" he breathed, chest heaving, and she frowned.

"We were just hanging out and I fell asleep and I guess you did too, and when I woke up, you were crying...are you going to be okay?"

"I have no choice," he mumbled, placing an arm over his face, and Furina shook her head, slowly.

"That's not true. It's okay to not be okay."

"Not for me."

"Why not?"

"Because -" he trailed off then, pulling his hand away from the girl, and she let him. ".. because I just - I just have to be. Okay?"

"It doesn't make you weak, you know. Do you think I would be weak if I wasn't okay?"

"..that's different -"

"Why?"

"Because you're human-"

"So what? You think beings that aren't human just have to be these immovable pillars of stability? You feel, just like I do. You have hopes and dreams, and fears, just like I do. You've experienced so many different aspects of life. Maybe- maybe people treated you like you weren't human, but that doesn't mean you aren't, you know. I mean, weren't you saying earlier a heart's a heavy burden? That's part of being human. Sometimes we feel weak and like we're all alone, but - even when we do feel that way, people care."

".. I don't know why they do."

"Do they need a reason to?" Furina challenged gently, tilting her head. "Love never needs a reason. It's just there, regardless of who you are, where you've been, where you're going, what you have done and what you will do. That's what makes it so beautiful. It's always there."

"..then why-"

"??"

"...no, forget about it. I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright. I won't push you."

"Even if you did, I wouldn't talk."

"I know, I just -"

"I understand what you're trying to say," he mumbled, sniffling. "...thanks."

"Is there anything I can do? Do you want me to leave?"

"I- I don't know. I don't know," Wanderer replied, almost inaudibly, and she nodded. And then, all of a sudden, he got up and made his way over to the lake nearby, sitting in the water so he was waist deep. He looked awfully small without his hat, Furina realized. Maybe that was why he wore it all the time.

"Come here," he beckoned, and she stared, in confusion.

"Huh?"

"Come here," he repeated, stronger this time. "You wanted to know how you can help me, right? Come sit. Just- I don't know. I don't want to be alone right now, weird as that is."

"Okay," she nodded, making herself comfortable in the water next to him. Minutes passed with Wanderer sitting rigidly, and then suddenly he hissed, clenching at his chest so hard his hands made wrinkles in the fabric.

"Wh- what's the matter?" Furina cried, eyes wide with alarm, and Wanderer shook his head, eyes glossy.

"Hurts. But it shouldn't, I -"

"Look, I don't know what you saw in your dream, but it's clear it's hurting you more than you want to admit. . will ..will the pain pass?"

"It usually does."

"...is it okay if I hold your hand until then?"

For a long moment, he did not speak, and Furina half expected him to say no. But then he shakily removed one of his hands from his chest and linked it with Furina's gloved one, and she paused. "..wait a moment." The ivory haired girl removed her glove then, holding Wanderer's hand with her bare one. His was cool and very smooth, like porcelain, and hers was warm and soft. The contrast was nice, she mused, noting sadly how her friend's hands trembled.

".. please don't tell anyone about this."

"I won't," Furina smiled. "I got 500 years worth of experience in keeping secrets, so no need to worry~" Wanderer sent her the most withering gaze at that, and she startled. "..what?"

"That's not funny," he mumbled, expression sullen. "Your pain, and everything you went through - you shouldn't make fun of it like that."

"Oh," she replied, heart dropping to her feet in shock. "I was just trying to -"

"I know what you were trying to do. Please don't do it at your expense. It isn't helping anyone feel better."

"..okay."

"Good."

A pause.

".. did I say anything weird? When I was sleeping?"

"..you were calling for your mother."

Wanderer stiffened, pain streaking across his face. ".. I see. Ridiculous of me." Furina did not push, but he looked to her, reading the question in her eyes. "..she hasn't been a part of my life for years now, so there's no reason to feel like this."

"..isn't that all the more reason to miss her? If she hasn't been there?"

"Not if she wasn't a good mother," he muttered, eyes dark. "I don't need her anymore."

"People can hurt you and you can still miss them, Wanderer. Those things don't have to be mutually exclusive. I don't - know what all happened so I'm not saying you need to forgive her or let her back in your life, but it's okay to miss her. It's ..okay to mourn what could have been," Furina ventured, looking to the water. "We were meant to be loved and cared for and when we're not, it- it hurts a lot, and it's not weak to be hurt. It's not weak to feel that hole in your heart."

"..it feels that way."

"..yeah. I understand. But I promise you're not weak."

The moon hung high in the sky before he spoke again. "..if nothing else, my life is my own now."

"That it is. You can do whatever you want with it."

"How do you just - seem to know what to say all the time?"

"I don't always, but... I often just speak from my heart. It's hardly led me astray."

"Hm. ...you should get some sleep."

"Will you be okay?"

".. I don't know," he admitted. "I'm.. getting there, though."

"That's good, that's good."

"I don't think I'll be going back to sleep, so just. Don't bother waiting up for me. I may go for a walk to clear my head."

".. alright. Please be safe."

"There isn't much that can hurt me, but I appreciate the concern."

"I know, but-"

"But you still worry."

"Because I care."

"..mhm."

"That's what friends do."

Wanderer turned his head, almost owlishly. "..what?"

"Am I wrong?"

"Well, no, but- you said -"

"That you're my friend, yes," Furina asserted, and he stared, bewildered. "You're nice to me, and you don't mind- well, who I am, yanno? You gotta keep those people close to you."

".. I guess so. I don't think I'm a very good choice, but- if that's what you want."

"It is."

".... okay."

She wasn't sure, but Furina could have sworn Wanderer was smiling a little when she fell asleep.

..of course, he vehemently denied it the next morning.

#furina #wanderer #oh lord the blorbos are going through it #i was like how can i make wanderer sad and then i went nightmare nightmare nightmare NIGHTMARE #i intended for this to be soft and then i was like oh oops! hurt/comfort!#he's a bit less uh. . talkative here than other drabbles im thinking this is earlier on in their friendship #so it will take him a while to fully open up #but he does at least touch on ei and her not being there and gets some comfort so wooo #i may make a continuation of this because i was struggling a little to wrap it up... might mean part 2! wahoo!!!#wanderer uh. he needs a lot of support #i wanna talk more about just. them idk. how they care about each other in my head.

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summersofsalt · 8 months

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a soft place to land (b&w version here)

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thefrsers · 1 year

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I AM ON SAMCAIT CLOUD 9 AND I NEVER WANT TO COME DOWN

#marie txts #THE CONTENT WE GOT TODAY YOU GUYS #AND THE WAY NOTHING HAS CHANGED AND THEY STILL LOOK AT EACH OTHER WITH ALL THE LOVE AND SOFTNESS #WATCHING IN THE BACKGROUND BEING IN THEIR LITTLE BUBBLE AND JUST BEING THE FREAKING CUTEST #CAITRIONA HOOTING AND HOLLERING WHEN HE WON #SAM BEING THE MOST WHOLESOME SWEESTEST MAN DEDICATING HIS WIN FOR OL AND THE CAST AND THE FANS AND SCOTLAND IDK A BETTER MAN #IM GONNA GO THROW MYSELF OFF A CLIFF BCOS TODAY HAS BEEN TOO MUCH AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH #SO IF ANYONE NEEDS I'LL BE OVER THERE SOBBING IN MY SAMCAIT CORNER OF FLUFF AND RAINBOWS

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toxictranny · 6 days

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when ppl use tone tags it’s amplified for me like what is /srs did u mean /Serious🗿

#online sm i make this emoji face irl.^^ it’s awful #i need buddies😡😡#i love the internet because it makes me aware of how beautiful things are #but also um it makes me sad because i’m going to die without friends #i CAN imagine if we never met the broskis):#gf was like (dating app that has a friends option)? BRAH!!! never ever #they’ll just wna fuck me and i’ll be sad #because i Like being affectionate witj my friends n intimacy but idk #the line between joking around kissin ur pal on the cheek and having sex with ur pal is so thin around here!#it scares me because what if i can’t find connection without sex #i have all the sex i need ok and i used to be overly sexual. it didn’t go well but it was the only time i had friends when i was willing to #be sexy with any of them at any time #theyd get hurt if you were like ‘oh tht was just a one time thing’ means i’m being monogamous and lame or whatever #one time it turned into i ‘used’ them likeejgjfjr WE MADE OUT AT A PARTY and after that they thought we were gonna make out whenever we saw #each other. at the time i had two partners and i wasn’t looking lol it was just a kiss!#but everyone got mad at me and said i used them for sex (we didn’t have sex) and also that i ~lead them on~#we were kissing for less than ten minutes too #grow the fuck up. honestly #also???? for the record i would LOVE to bone a friend here and there but i DON’T want ANY expectations for more #it’s just too much presh for me when ppl are like oh we’re in a relationship now! after we fuck #even fwb is a relationship.. situationship.. flirtationship. hook up. softting. like #there’s way too much for me i just want to get a lil jiggy with it couple times a yr. and watch my gf kiss girls thy would be so nice #anyway.. /Serious🗿#toxictranny

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gemharvest · 2 months

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Ok so how long until 2017-esque aesthetic furry designs start trending.

#ramblings #i own all of these guys LMAO. only the third image is a design by me/ is art by me tho #IDK i think it would be kinda fun to do a design like these again #obviously the answer to `how long til these trend` is well we need long enough for enough people to reasonably feel nostalgic for it LOL #but ive really grown a soft spot for like. 2010s mspaint cats who were very clearly made by young artists with love #so naturally the feeling is starting to extend to these guys where i actually remember being like 12 and making them #i DID make my fair share of mspaint cats which is why im even hit by that nostalgia at all. i had computer access YOUNG.#proto-ipad baby. windows 7 baby. raised on purbleplace and early 2010s youtube uploads of lps music videos and wiz101 vids #but anyways back on topic. i think these guys are the currently underappreciated to the 2010s sparklecat amen

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hellfyre · 2 months

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theres so much i wanna draw but work is taking so much of my time and wrist ability. I want to draw fallen lute just generally and her with azazel i love yuri thats a little fucked up and evil but secretly soft

and i still wanna draw azazel and lilith, i just like women. I am so normal i promise.

I need my wrist to calm down soon i need to get these worms outta my head

#lute and azazel would be like ‘i can make them worse’#i like imagining azazel finding clothes for lute to wear in hell #force away the internalized homophobia #they are both hardasses in different ways and i imagine them secretly soft #both being secretly soft together makes me :)#idk im mentally ill and a bit delulu #a bit is an understatement tbh #i hate having CTS i have so many things in my brain i need to get out #at this rate in just gonna write self indulgent fics and be too embarrassed to share them #azael ranting again #oc x canon #hazbin hotel oc #azazel

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coridallasmultipass · 4 months

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Vent/transphobia in fandom

I regret looking in the trans //// Dirk tag bc wow... people sure do love to shit on other people's interpretation of canon.

Someone fucking said "people are making him trans to 'soften' him and make him more likeable" like holy shit???? Am I actually reading those words?? Someone being blatantly transphobic in the tD tag, where y'know, trans people wanna read posts about tD.

If you think making a character trans 'softens' him, that's literally the definition of transphobia, and that's something you need to work on. Trans men aren't Men Lite. We're not softer and more likeable than cis men. Shut the fuck up.

I feel so fucking sick after reading that. Fucking asshole piece of shit. I did not need to read that tonight, while I'm literally suffering from a 'trapped in the wrong body' flavour of gender dysphoria and S.I. and just TRYING TO FIND PEOPLE BEING NORMAL ABOUT TRANS ///// DIRK SINCE IT FEELS LIKE I'M THE ONLY PERSON WHO FUCKING CARES RIGHT NOW.

Whatever. I will blaze my own way down the tD path. I'm doing it for ME. Not for anyone else. Fucking rancid-ass take, get the fuck out. No one wants to see your whiny transphobic arguments against tD, IN THE TAG FOR TRANS //// DIRK. Keep your transphobia to yourself, or I am busting out the duct tape. (Duct tape=block button. Yes, I blocked them. Don't need that negativity in my blogging experience.)

((Do not talk to me about anything that happens after Homestuck proper. I do not perceive those things. I do not want to know about those things. They do not exist to me.))

PS. Oh, I absolutely love finding any canon evidence to make toxic male characters into trans men (Handso//me Ja/ck, Joh//nny Sil//verhand, Br/o Str/ider, etc... actually now that I line them up like that, Bro is totally tame and normal lmao, HJ is wayyy worse of a person and there's tons of canon evidence I can argue with...)

Anyway, transing the bad guys... It's my favourite passtime. I could not give a fuck what you think about that. I like my men toxic and trans. I don't give a fuck about having "good" representation, because a trans man is still a trans man when he's a toxic asshole. That's the point. Trans men are the same amount of man as cis men. So you can SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT NEEDING A 'SOFT' BOY FOR TRANS MEN'S REPRESENTATION. DO IT YOUR-FUCKING-SELF AND LEAVE THE TRANS //// DIRK TAG TO THOSE OF US WHO KNOW THE TRUTH.

#let me preface this by saying im internally bleeding from all my organs and in a really shitty pms/pmdd mood and cramping #transphobia #vent #im so fucking sick of trans men getting pushed aside bc were not man enough to have a voice in fandom/media #i seriously cannot believe someone said that were making dirk trans to soften him #makes me fucking sick to my stomach #i dont need more reminders that ill never be man enough for people who arent trans men #jfc i spend like 2 weeks back on tumblr and its already making me sick i didnt think iw as gonna find transphobia here in 2024 #remember the time someone told me i was transmisogynistic for saying mettat//on was a trans man? lmao #good times (not)#why cant people be normal about trans men for fuckkng once #rant #angry trans man grumbling #this probably needs tags but idk what they should be bc i dont want this to end up in the associated tags #if ppl havent seen what i just saw i dont want to remind them that transphobia abounds #Cori.exe #Post.exe #i literally feel like my organs are being scraped with a cheese grater #i wish i had a different body im so sick of end/ometriosis #my body is actively being transphobic against me and i am dealt this additional blow by fandom jackasses calling trans men soft #s m fucking h

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