#IVE BEEN LOCKED OUT FOR SO LONG...

[nurfthis]

i JUST found my login info for this blog ajdkgnjgkd i’m gonna repost my promo now....

#IVE BEEN LOCKED OUT FOR SO LONG... #and as always i still love hana song

[abhorsenkatiel]

Some John Gaius character analysis that I've been wanting to toss out into the void:

I see a lot of people who seem to characterize him as a kind of "diabolical evil mastermind" villian, who had a grand scheme to become the leader of a fascist space empire and carefully planned out all of his actions accordingly, and while it's a valid interpretation, it feels a little too straightforward to me.

What makes John Giaus an interesting character to me is that he is very much just a normal kind-of-shitty guy having very normal human problems. He's mourning the death of his loved ones, he's in way over his head and struggling to maintain the appearance of being in control, he made a huge mistake and doesn't want his friends to find out because he's afraid they'll be mad at him. He desperately wants everyone to think well of him at all times. The way he goes about handling these problems isn't good, but it is understandable. We've all wished for a magic solution to these kinds of problems at some point. The only thing different about John Gaius is that he has the power to give himself that magic solution.

The problem with John Giaus is not that he's especially bad or evil, but that he's a person with a disproportionate amount of power and influence. Any short-sighted selfish decision he makes has catastrophic consequences for all of humanity.

He has become the monster he was trying to fight. He is the reason why man should never become god. His tragedy is that he fucked around and found out, and now he has to deal with the consequences of every single one of his bad decisions for the rest of eternity.

It's more comforting to think that a fascist space empire could come about only after careful planning and masterful manipulation by an evil genius. It's terrifying to think that it could be the natural result of one kind-of-shitty guy having too much power. And it's even worse to wonder if your own human flaws, when magnified to such a degree, might also create horrors beyond our comprehension.

#the locked tomb #tlt meta #john gaius #jod #ive been mentally chewing on this for a very long time #its good to finally have it out there so i can think about other things lol

[muppenthings]

Keiki, a naturally magically altered mer from the fantasy world Aurea.

Age: Born in the 1600's

Personality: Playful, kind, very social and affectionate. He's quite impulsive and doesn't always think things through. He tries his best and wants to be helpful but is prone to clumsiness. Easily distracted.

Sizeshifter: Being magically altered, he's got the ability to change his size. He always tries to stay as small as possible, but he often ends up regrowing in spurts if he's startled, sleeping etc. On the sheet is his smallest size possible, compared to a 6ft person.

Background: Both of his parents died after swimming through a magic underwater current, trying to escape a giant predator. The then newborn Keiki survived but was magically altered and grew to a gigantic size. He then swam around in a bay, taking fish from fishing boats and terrifying the locals as they thought he was a large non-sapient sea creature. A bounty was put on him.

A crew of renowned hunters responded to the plea for help. After successfully bringing the baby to the surface they realized that he was just that; a baby. The crew took him in, hoping to come across a pod of merfolk to pass him on to. They ended up raising him anyways.

Other notes:

Communication: A syrinx allows him to communicate above and below water (underwater the air is circulated beteen the lungs, no air escapes unless he wants to). He chirps, whistles and clicks like other merfolk on Aurea. He's not able to produce human speech but he tries to mimic certain sounds with mixed result. He's also very expressive and good at communicating with gestures.

Magically altered: Due to being magically altered, his own magic is prone to become unstable. It gets worse in cycles, if he doesn't actively stabilize it himself it'll worsen until the point he gets sick. At that point his body regulates the magic on it's own but it takes longer. He'll then be unable to use his sizeshifting ability and will be stuck at his actual size until his body is done stabilizing itself.

Diet: He eats a wide variety of sea creatures, sea greens, and fruits from Titanik (a continent where everything is large). He's also able to digest magic and it's the most important part of his diet as it gives him more energy compared to everything else. Keiki can live off of magic alone if needed, but he enjoys "solids" more.

#Muppen draws #oc Keiki #oc reference sheet #g/t #giant merman #cw death mention #I'm not used to making reference sheets so I'm open for suggestions #The first one out of many!! #Ive been meaning to do them for a long time now #I tried to keep it tldr. xD;;; #Just general info :D #Keiki's gonna get really old #And I like to jump around in his timeline so yep. #Not “locking” him in a certain time or age. #I will use finished art for these if I have because... why do twice the work? :o

[beeduoo]

originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

#origins smp #i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals WHAT EVEN HAPPENED i was only there for the first one😅 #beeduo #otubbo #oranboo #beeduo fanart #i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY #DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM #IR WAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE and they were being really Funny thay shit h #ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its #been wayyyyyyy too long #BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise #bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹ #had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop #yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭 #ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really #wanted to share ok i love you bge #WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED #RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like #water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT #ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I #VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB #OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be #Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON #SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub #lic had to say.... ok Now bye

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate? #i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present] #and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?'' #and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

[rubarb69]

I need to stop ignoring my nature, i need to get weirder and be more of an asshole

#is it really my nature? #do i still have a nature? #is there anything authenticlly left of me? #am i just a grouping of half ironic half real traits ive adapted out of need? #have i locked away my heart for so long that its been replaced with a void that only yearns for power? #alas.. another jreg refrence #worst choise of my life was getting into politics at 12/13 #bright eyed and idealistic boy turned into... this? is “this” even something of value? is it something to look at with amything but distain #was it fucking worth it? #complex question with a hard anwser #but its somewhere closer to yes than to no #i think #maybe #probably not

[shadowglens]

isadora visits her father's grave, despite the fact that she told herself she'd never set foot within neverwinter again, because she's not really sure what else to do in the wake of learning he died. the dirt is still freshly-churned, his body barley cooled six feet under - she missed the funeral by two days. astarion goes with her, because of course he does, wrapped head-to-toe in armour to save his skin from crumbling to dust under the blaring sun. on their way back to the tavern where they'd rented a room for the night, isa unconsciously finds herself walking by her childhood home, with the arched doorway and her father's merchant symbol engraved on the front steps. too late, she realises. too late, and her mother is opening the front door.

#oc tag #ch: isadora #they hardly talk #just stare at each other for long enough that astarion makes to awkardly interject #but then her mother calls her 'dora' and the nickname is like a slap to the face and astarion is suddenly bow string taut at isa's elbow #she holds it together for the conversation - spits out 'hello mother' and acts as if the whole thing is beneath her #because she wants her mum to know that she won! that she made a name for herself! that she's worth something now! #she and astarion make it back to the tavern and it's only once they're securely locked in their room that she just fucking .... breaks down #astarion hugs her to sleep and fights the urge to go back to that pretty two-story townhouse and burn it to the fucking ground #it strikes him though at how similar isa and her mother looked #horns and tail and isa's pink skin tone aside .... she may as well have been a younger mirror of her mother #if you really looked #something about hating the thing staring right back at you #idk i'm kinda self conscious about my ocs at the moment but ive also been thinking about them So Much #isa in particular

[toastsnaffler]

I will say while I've loved most of elden ring I'm really glad I'm down to just 2 more main boss fights (malenia + maliketh) before I start the endgame boss fights... whew 😮‍💨

#really gorgeous world but frankly its unnecessarily long. theyre gonna kill me for saying that but its true.. #some areas/bosses just become overly repetitive when the game is THAT massive like its unavoidable #they tried rly hard to distinguish every area + honestly its a great effort but it couldve been half the size and just as good #like i just did the elphael ulcerative tree spirit bc i wanted to finish millicents questline. and come on man we didnt need another one #the design is sick + loooove the animation. but its a bad fight not bc of the difficulty but bc its janky as hell #lock on doesnt work properly bc of its size and the way it moves. u cant see shit on ur screen fighting them melee its just hack n slash #and theyre always in the most dogshit arenas possible for them like spaces w no maneuverability. its just not fuuuun #especially after youve fought 5 or 6 already earlier on in the game.. #and its cool to have variations like the scarlet rot ones but we already HAD one of those just before lake of rot!! the gimmicks worn off #i did everything except maliketh in farum azula today as well and again. it didnt need to be that long. killing beastmen gets boring #after like the first 20 combat is just mashing buttons.. even the platforming is getting dull bc ive done 120 hours of it now #and theres only so many combinations of ladders and hallways and so on that u can possibly cram in here.. #i say all this with fondness like i truly do love it. but it couldve been a lot tighter! regardless ill still 100% complete it #and i get most ppl dont try to get every single armament and talisman etc so they probably dont waste time FULLY exploring like i am #ahhh. anyway ill probably do malenia and maliketh tmr bc im right outside both of their arenas. and then call it quits this weekend #ill get my first ending next weekend probably... and hopefully by june ill have 100% and then i can play something else 😭 #ik the dlc comes out in june but ill probably take a month or two break before i get to that #it doesnt even neeeed a dlc.......its excessive as it is just make a new game by this point ahhhhh #anyway its like 1am i need to SLEEP. i said i would go out to watch for northern lights but its overcast and im tired and my roommate #didnt wanna come with.. so i was gonna go to bed early instead but i guess that didnt happen lol #gonna feel like shit tomorrow bc i have to be up early to take my meds and she'll wake me up anyway.. but cross that bridge #typing is getting difficult bc im so sleepy okay goodnight everyone #.diaries

[this-doesnt-endd]

I dont need these things but i wanna get those like finger pulse oxygen readers and the like blood pressure wrist cuffs. I dont need them i go to dr appts all the time and ive never had issues but like all of a sudden i feel like i really need them and i need to know these stats daily

#we technically have a blood pressure cuff my mom wanted one and then we kept it around before we knew i had sezuires cause we #were worried cause id just have episodes and nearly black out so my dad had me check it a lot #but its the arm one and i dont know how to use it #also ive been like worried a lot lately abt getting seziures which idk why cause theyve been very controlled for like year n half 2yrs now #so theres no reason i should be concerned but i am and i think taking my vitals everyday would make me feel much better #cause like nevermind the fact i havent had a deep breath in like 5 years and im constantly lifting like many many pounds of stuff #all at once all day long and like getting a workout essentially my slightly elevated heart rate means im just gonna like #drop to the floor n black out or like explode or something like theres no reason i need to be taking my pulse like 10 times a day #but it makes me feel better and i will give into that #much like spraying my house with lysol constantly or having to do my door lock routine like 3 times a night it makes me feel better #and i will totally give into that #like thats relatively normal i feel like #i wore a watch for like 2 months straight cause in my mind that was the only thing preventing nuclear war and like i dont wear watches #like that but alas i had to cause im built different (incorrectly) and it was my job to prevent nuclear war #wow im so normal about everything

[pekabloooopmilgram]

im back baby

also look at this wonderful screenshot i found

#milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #do i still need to tag pekabloooop edits dum shit? #i dont think so cus thats kinda the side blog #anyways hello #im back #i know unfortunate #sorry ive been gone so long #i got locked out of my old account and have been trying to get back in for a while but couldn't figure it out #so now we are here #and i can finally ruin the last trial 2 mv #lets go #i will be doing this more now #but ill still be inconsistent as ever #also considering now i dont have new material every 2 months #and i only got here early trail 2 so who knows how long it will be #but ill make due #next up are the birthday photos #yes you should be scared #have fun trying to find her mouth on the first ine cus wow its hard to see and im not redoing it #also im using this sideblog now so yea #hava a good day

[hella1975]

happy eurovison!! do your stretches!!!

babe it's been days since i did my stretches at this point im too scared

#in my defence idk WHAT was going on with my sunday shift bc i only waitressed 7 hours and that's a pretty normal shift for me #like im aware compared to a normal person it would be very difficult to just out of nowhere expect them to be on their feet #walking back and forth the entire length of a restaurant regularly carrying heavy things all the while keeping up ABOVE AND BEYOND socially #for SEVEN ENTIRE HOURS with ZERO BREAK like masking that entire time on top of the 7 hour physical workout #like it's insane if u think about it for more than 2 seconds and im really trying to bc every time i falter i beat the shit out of myself #and like? NO? my job is actually very physically demanding and emotionally draining compared to most people's day-to-day activity #it's gonna have impacts sometimes! #so yeah long story short i finished my shift sunday and when i tell you my legs LOCKED UP in bed that night #like mainly my thighs but it was all in my hips and knees and it was so bad that i lay there until 2am before getting painkillers #bc i couldnt hack it #which is SAYING SOMETHING for me bc im normally both quite good with pain and also a hardass for taking painkillers #ive had that happen once before (again after waitressing lol) & never worried about it but my mum recently got diagnosed with arthritis #and ever since ive been like. Looking at my own joints any time they even HINT at playing up #like i am RENOWNED for inhereting all of my mum's medical shit from mental to physical like i KNOW i'll get it it's just a matter of when #and yeah that was sunday it's now tuesday and my thighs STILL feel bruised #and im like. embarassed about it bc it's not like i did anything spectacular? and idk why it's happening? #yeah idk hiiii rori did u like me ranting about my physical health in ur stretch reminder ask sorry do u still think im hot <3 #ask

[olli-online]

.

#finishes a happy show abt love by uncontrollably sobbing because imso fundamentally broken and past the point of being fixed that i cannot #love and receive love and dont feel at all deserving of even doing so #i cant trust fhat people love me itll always be in the back of my mind that its fake that its all a lie i cant accept that anybody could #believing that the only way someone could love me is if they were manipulated into doing so and imholding someone captive with the brutality #of who i am. i wish love made me sweet ans gentle and kind #its like ive locked away all thelove i have in a box but its rotting away and irs making that box heavy ans idk if i can carry it anymore #nevermind someone else. i dont want to crush ppl and suffocate them and yet its all ive ever been able to do #one day iwill find acceptance in being undeserving of it all but for now ill just continue to want and long and yearn #i hate desiring what i cannot have. i wish i was being hyperbolic. i wish i could just say its an episodebut i cant #ivelocked myself so far away out of reach that i dont think i coukd bring it back even if i desperately wanted to #it would be better if i had no love to give but its not true. i have so much love to give but no one id want to subject to carrying it #ishould sleep #anyway ghe show was nice before igot in my own head

[servospawn]

it doesn't mean much because didn't brazen lotus also have that stuff behind early access? 😭😂

lmao i'm not sure.. i think they do early access but for their mods specifically.

#their mods look so extensive #i wanna try them out #i think their decluttered stuff is always free though #i could be wrong #ive been gone for so long that all this early access shit be free by the time i get to it #but i be feeling it now with the new releases #or the ones that have their shit still locked after 4 yrs #like um report????? #or we just take it to rebels &call it a day

[larryjohnsoncosplayonthursday]

last

for realsies

#HELLO IM VENTING AGAIN IM SO SORRY #i am sick of everything the usual but i just need some fucking therapy and my diagnosises are taking too long because the system is shit #over here and i feel like i am a literal walking disaster a hazard to myself are my meds even working anymore idk? someone needs to lock me #in a fucking wardrobe before i loose my shit and do something stupid as fuck at least im self aware ok were growing this is called growth #wow ok amazing spectacular #like tonight ive decided i hate everyone again i want to quit uni actually might do it this time i just applied for a random job for no #reason i have a job but if i have 2 then i can over work myself to the max so i dont have to go into uni #i have three weeks off so now im cutting everyone off who knows how long this episode is gonna last for #i am loosing my god damn mind i do not want to do anything everything is so hard why is everyone so pressuring #i stopped doing some of my stupid habbits but now im just going full circle again so im thriving rn live love laugh am i right guys or what #AND WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A THERPAIST WHO CONTACTS ME ITS BEEN SINCE OCTOBER U FUCKING BITCH GO FUCK URSELF #anyway im in huge amounts of pain too idk what i do in my sleep or something but my shoulders hurt so bad #i hate wet tags on clothes when they stick to you throws up actually #i had stale fucking garlic bread today and i want to move out but if i move out then things will get worse for me #why cant i maintain a normal friendship without loosing my mind and hating everyone i mean no one knows my friends are pretty good with me #they understand but i dont know #ive come to the conclusion that i am just a shit

[crunchycrystals]

sometimes i see people playing minecraft pocket edition with the crouch button in the middle of the walking buttons and the jump button off on the right and i get so confused because i havent changed my minecraft pe settings in years. like i was playing pocket edition since before we had a crouch button so ive never played with the crouch in the middle since i got used to having the jump button there

#crunchyposts #mc #this is so crazy to me like. why dont you swap the buttons #i havent played minecraft in a while but my muscles are trained so that if im jump sprinting im just sliding my thumb across the screen #and not hitting two buttons at the same time #anyone remember when pocket edition didnt have nether portals. because i remember those goddamn blue and yellow blocks that were supposed t #be the nether portals iirc #i always wanted java but i didnt have a computer so i just played pocket edition for years #im still mostly a pe player too because my laptop minecraft is fucky and i keep getting locked out of my account #anyways yeah. i am a Veteran Pe Player i remember roses #ive been playing minecraft for so long god the games gotten so many updates since then its great #does lifeboat still exist. this post has turned into me talking about my nostalgia for old minecraft

[majorasnightmare]

obligatory vent text

fun fact there is a limit on the number of tags you can add to a post.

its 30

#i live in hell! i live in hell! i live in hell! #how do i tell the people i know that the reason i take so long about anything #to read the fic theyve written look at the art theyve made #is because i exist in a state of being constantly abused while my disabillities worsen #and it is in fact constant! there is no escape! i cant even sleep without the threat of abuse! #how do i make anyone understand that i have not left the house in years plural. like? i dont leave i am locked in with an abuser #the windows are shut the doors are closed i do not Get Out #no one will employ me! so i dont leave the house for work #i cant maintain an education! so i dont go out for school #no one who cares about me and my partner lives nearby! so i dont visit friends or leave for meals or j #hang out at all #it keeps escalating! because i cant leave she knows she can get away with it so she keeps escalating #all my online friends get used like piggy banks because she dangles necessities over our broke heads and says pay me or die #pay me or have no cell service. pay me or have no internet. pay me or dont eat. pay me or get kicked out #it wasnt even this bad at my parents. i could have 8 hours of school every day where i didnt have to deal with them #i dont even have that anymore #i dont have the energy for anything anymore. i am in constant misery #it doesnt ever stop! it only gets less bad! but it doesnt ever stop! #how do i make anyone understand ive been in a locked room for years and im not exaggerating #how do i make you get it! think of the things you do to leave your house! i dont go out to get snacks or drinks! #i dont go out to get groceries! i dont go out to say hi to people i know! there is no one i know here! #think about all the times you close your front door behind you and take them all away and thats been my life #everytime i bring it up i feel like no one gets the profound soul crushing isolation i live in #its just me and my partner. in hell. nonstop #all my doors are closed and theres no escape and i dont know whats going on in anyones lives anymore #i do not eat i do not sleep i can barely walk and i spend every day fluctuating between begging for death and being terrified of it #i dont. hear anyone else talk. i hear 2 voices. every day. i cant remember how to interact with people #im not the person any of you used to know im worse im worse im so much worse #how can you exist when you cant fully unpack your box of clothes in case you get thrown out next week. how do you have hobbies #how do you talk about a traumatic event last year when yesterday someone screamed at your partner so loud it knocked the bathroom door open