#I've literally seen so many edits that literally look like mine

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

show me a transmasculine car. but a little flamboyant with it.

Well, I pretty much literally asked for this.

So.

To me, a transmasculine car must be a car that underwent some sort of process -of transformation- that resulted in an aesthetic difference between before and after, right?

And that is very much a thing in cars. I mean, you don't even need to know about cars to know people transform them in all sorts of ways, right? But what I intend to talk about specifically here is front-end swaps - people smacking completely different front ends onto their cars to make them look a way they deem preferable - or sometimes just to save money over the original parts. Such is the story of the Sileighty (or sil80), which is a Nissan 180SX onto which drifters that fucked the front end put Nissan Silvia parts instead because they were cheaper and lighter. Before and after:

Now, potentially this may already satisfy your request, but let's keep going anyway: From the opposite swap -putting a 180SX front on the Nissan Silvia- nicknamed Onevia, before and after...

...was born an idea: see, some people thought what the Silvia really needed weren't the headlights from the 180SX, but the ones from a decade younger Honda Odyssey minivan. I don't know why they thought that but it turns out the custom bodykit they created around the concept proved them right.

Now, since as you might have gathered before the Silvia and 180SX front ends are interchangeable, this custom bodykit also bolts right up to the 180SX. Let's see the before and after on that...

Yeah, I feel like we're pretty close.

Although, for the sake of completion, I must add that Nissan also pulled this "different front end for different body styles" trick with the Skyline and its wagon version, the Stagea - and many Stagea owners felt the need to rectify that by installing the Skyline front end on their cars, resulting in the below before and after:

And now, on a completely unrelated note purely because it's pretty rare you get an excuse to bring this up, while some say the 90s Subaru Sambar Dias -also called... well, many other things, really- was the peak of personal transportation (it's me, I'm some), someone else at Subaru clearly thought it wasn't classic enough - hence the special Dias Classic edition (as featured in Love Hina!), which I'm sure was right up someone's alley.

I'm not that confident in my awareness of what I just went on about, so I would very much appreciate some feedback and, of course, reblogs to make the stupidest poll I've seen in quite some time get even bigger a sample size than it ever deserved.

Links in blue are posts of mine explaining the words in question - if you liked this post, you might like those!

#lgbt cars #transmasculine #nissan s13 #nissan silvia #nissan 180sx #nissan sileighty #nissan onevia #nissan odyvia #nissan odyeighty #nissan stagea #nissan skyline #subaru sambar dias classic

[myrmica]

do you have any tips for getting better at drawing anatomy? your poses are always so fluid and realistic

first of all THANK YOU!!! that makes me happy to hear!

under the cut because i got long winded... i hope something in here is useful! some of it may stray from the point, and i have no idea what stuff you already know.

in my experience a lot of it is about paying attention to form/volume. at one point or another i realized i vastly prefer art that emphasizes this, as opposed to flatter more stylized anatomy, as far as things i want to emulate in my own work go (flat styles can be cool when other people do it; this is a huge thing with art i think, developing a sense of discernment when it comes to the art you Want To Make versus the art you like but wouldn't want to mimic...)

so i add contour lines to everything i draw as i sketch because it helps me figure out where the object is in space, in relation to the viewer. doing this immediately establishes where the subject is in relation to the "camera" because lines curving one way mean you're looking up at something, and vice versa. if you've ever seen the coil method of foreshortening before, it's the same principle.

while construction lines won't always be there in a finished piece, you can communicate form in the curves of your lines. the round end of a sleeve is a countour line, so are fabric folds (although they have their own volume too), etc.

the feeling of looking up at someone, or their arm moving towards you, or their back turned away from you, that's where a lot of tension and dynamism comes from--some of the "fluidity."

another thing is to focus on weight, and how things interact when they touch... if you grip someone's arm, how does the skin fold/warp under pressure? can you actually draw it doing that, instead of leaving the arm being grabbed unaffected? stuff like that. a huge inspiration for this (and i think it shows in some of the artistic choices i've been making lately) is margot maison's work. like, check out this panel from bora the brain:

or this one of mine, where i just grabbed my own arm like that to see how it felt and what the skin did...

these are both examples of smaller details but the same principle applies any time you're drawing two people touching, or even a bent leg where the thigh and calf meet. i'm more interested in how skin/fat moves around than i am in getting the nitty gritty details of muscle groups and bones right. knowing the muscles and bones certainly HELPS; my personal favorite bones are the radius and ulna in the forearm, and keeping the way they move in mind Is useful because it reminds you that the arm isn't a uniform tube shape, it's a flat rectangle type thing, and it'll look wider or narrower depending on the angle... etc. see pronation/supination gif below:

they get recomended all the time but the morpho books are my favorite reference for doing actual intentional anatomy practice & in redrawing stuff from them a ton of tricks for constructing bodies have stuck in my head. like, here i was focusing on how they simplify the shoulder/armpit in relation to the ribcage:

(you can download most of 'em for free off of libgen btw.)

you can also get something kinda special drawing bodies from life. if you don't have other people to draw, your own hands/legs work too, and it's good for foreshortening and perspective because you're always seeing them in relation to your own viewpoint:

granted both this and the morpho studies are things i find fun to do. on the off chance that you're someone who finds studies tedious or boring, rather than pushing through it you might want to paint a character you like onto the pose you're practicing or something like that to keep yourself invested?

i also use references gratuitously. usually many pictures at once, where i'm combining them to get the pose i want. either just referencing different photos as i draw different things or literally editing them together depending on what it is. over time, i've gotten better at coming up with dynamic and interesting poses without a ref, because using them has built up my understanding of the body (it's actually way easier IMO to draw a dynamic pose without a ref than it is to draw a dude just standing there without one ?!)

there's sort of a push and pull for me between accuracy/realism ("can the arm Actually bend that way???") and exageration/stylistic liscense ("if it doesn't, does it look cooler like that?") where it helps to KNOW if you're drawing something that isn't technically "anatomically correct."

there's also a lot to be said for tracing over photos for practice!

thank you for the question, i love to talk about these things ^_^

#m #asks

[vorpalfae]

coffindollie copied your intro post

" copied this copied that "

i've gotten so many messages accusing ppl of "copying" me. or accusing me of "copying" others.

literally just let ppl do why makes them happy. if it looks similar to mine then who cares??? i think its cool that they like similar things as me. thats why i follow her. im not here to dictate what ppl can and can't like or can and can't post on their OWN blog. if it makes her happy then thats fine!!

idk if u genuinely were trying to warn me with good intentions or ur just trying to cause drama, but just know:

i do not care. i do not care what other ppl do online, i do not care what ppl do with their lives or how they choose to dress, portay themselves, etc. i do not care if they have a similar aesthetic or vibes as me. i LOVE meeting ppl who i have stuff in common with💜

i'm going to be 26 years old in a matter of days and i don't have the time, energy or desire to put others down or make them feel bad because they like my aesthetic or like the same aesthetic as me. its just childish. everyone takes inspiration from everyone. its very, very hard to find anything that is 100% unique and hasn't been done before. its 2023. what is the point of accusing ppl and being mean just because they like something that you also like? when u could literally just be friends with them and have a community where u can share ideas and bond over interests. i love @coffindollie and her blog. i love all her edits and her overall aesthetic. i love that we post a lot of the same stuff. i share her posts all the time because i like them.

just be nice to ppl. let them do what they want. the accusations and drama are so unnecessary and ugly and i don't want any part in it. i've had more than my fair share of having to deal with bullies and ppl just wanting to be cruel to others and i don't care about that shit anymore.

unless someone blatantly plagiarized my art, like my crochet, or my writing, or original artwork, then i don't care. and edits don't count as original artwork. because if we are being honest, 99% of the posts and edits ppl make on tumblr are NOT made with their own original photos and artwork. ppl post stuff from pinterest, google, deviant art, web archives, ebay, etc. and i like that. i love that tumblr allows ppl to share things they've found and give others the opportunity to make pretty edits or share them again on their own blogs. if i like something then i post it. nothing i post is with the intention of wanting to be like anybody else. it just means i genuinely LIKE that thing. and im almost positive that anybody doing something similar as me is doing it because they LIKE it. not to "copy" me.

thats just a weird, negative, and creepy way of thinking. ive seen plenty of stuff that looks almost identical to what ive done. and when i was younger and immature, it USED to bother me. but now i know its because i inspire ppl, or i may have introduced someone to something, or because i have good taste in a lot of things! its actually a compliment! if someone does the same thing you do its because what ur doing is obviously appealing to them in some way, or they wouldn't have done it in the first place.

trigger warning for this next part:

sorry for the rant, but im just so over it. im tired of ppl trying to start drama with ppl they don't even know. or trying to bring me into drama. i don't hate anybody or have issues with anyone. it makes me have so much anxiety when ppl are unnecessarily mean. i myself have been a victim of bullying to the point of harming myself or attempting suicide. its not okay. and i still don't understand why ppl are fine with making others feel bad about themselves.

im just here to post what interests me and what makes me happy. im not by any means a gatekeeper of my style or my interests. if u love the same stuff as me then lets be friends💜🖤 i would love to meet u and discuss our interests together 🥰

#ask #be kind #fuck drama #drama is for the miserable

[justapixelthing]

Rant about how to make OOT Zelink work with TP Link being a Farmer

I had this rant stuck in my head at work so I have to get it out or I'll explode!

So child timeline: Malon has a thing for Link but Link has eyes for Zelda and kinda has to break Malon's heart. So what does he do? As Link trains to become a knight, he meets a guy (an OC I have yet to present) who seems perfect for her. So he sets the two up and they become a couple. Link works his way up the ranks and becomes a royal knight, eventually also getting a honorary noble title (those do indeed exist). And once Zelda is queen she can do whatever she wants and marries Link. Besides Link literally has the mark of the gods (triforce on his hand) in a religious Kingdom like Hyrule. I doubt he'd be just a simple peasant. Not to forget to mention the warning of impending doom.

So Link and Zelda have multiple children and so do Malon and OC.

One of Zelda and Link's children ends up falling with love with one of Malon and OC's children. The ZeLink child eventually decides it wants to leave the royal duties to the siblings and moves to the farm to be with Malon's child (giving up royal life is also a thing that happens sometimes IRL, most recent example being... the kinda messy one of Harry and Meghan). ZeLink child x Malon/OC child create the bloodline that leads to Twilight Princess Link being a farmer. There are definitely at least several generation between them. I've seen people mention that the 100 years between OoT and TP was a mistranslation and it's actually hundreds. Can't confirm for sure but makes more sense considering how vastly different Hyrule is.

So that means: TP Link is: A descendant of Link, Zelda and Malon. It's basically a second generation MaLink through their children. Sure it is a lot easier to go the Malon and Link end up together route, but as long as Nintendo never confirms MaLink, It's pretty valid to go another way with your headcanon. That does make TP Link and Zelda veeery distant cousins, but so distant to the point that they can't really be counted as related if you want to ship them. (If you don't want to ship TP Zelink, them being lost cousins is also a cute story.)

Also kinda fits in with the Hero's Shade armor. It looks like no other armor of any other knight. Maybe it was a royal armor? I do think the Shade acts more like an old mentor, than a young man, so I think he probably died in old age and got buried with his armor, or fell in battle when he was an old man and no longer as strong (bc let's be real hero of time + hidden skills? He must have been a beast in his prime time). If his children were a mix of royals and a farmer, no wonder he wouldn't have taught them his skills. Or they just didn't want to or weren't fit for it. And ofc Link would still lament not being remembered as hero. It's not about being any hero but the hero of time. No matter how many people knew about it, no one would be able to relate.

Long story short: Oot Zelink is possible with a few extra steps. BUT MaLink wouldn't be a bad couple and I see nothing bad in people who like them. I just forever prefer ZeLink over MaLink because to me the romantic implications are too strong. I feel like Nintendo originally wanted ZeLink to be the main focus (Miyamoto saying he sees Zelda as Links girlfriend) but accidentally made MaLink a strong possibility by making TP Link a farmer. But that's just my thought. The TP Manga does try to retcon this quite a bit.

Anyway, as long as nothing is put as canon, every ship and head canon is perfectly valid and this is mine. :D Pls don't fight over things like fictional character love interests. Adding a fictional story to a... fictional story is no crime. It being open for our interpretation creates a lot of diversity and I like that.

Sorry for the long rant! Edit: Or just have Malon Zelda and Link in a poly relationship :D

#oot zelink #zelink #sorry for my rant #it can be both #headcanon #zelda headcanon #every ship is valid bc its headcanon! #These two are made for each other #ocarina of time #sorry for the long rant #ocarina of time zelink

[textsfromthetva]

I don't think I've ever seen you post about any of the other projects Loki's been in. How do you feel about his movies? Which one(s) are your favorite?

First off, I'm sorry for letting this sit in my inbox collecting dust for three weeks, considering the fact that it's actually a great question and it caused me to really reflect on my thoughts about Loki in the MCU. Unfortunately, none of those thoughts got to a point where they were worthy of publication on the esteemed tumblr dot com, as I doubted they would pass the savage peer review of much more dedicated fans. They still won't.

Honestly, I'm scared, anon. People probably won't agree. But since you asked so nicely:

Thor - solid tragic backstory established with a certain flair. Loki is by far the most interesting thing about the whole movie. Not that I actually dislike it as a whole, I just don't think it's anything special in the context of the MCU. It's a fish out of water comedy interrupted regularly by a heartbreaking tale of loss of identity, self-hatred, and daddy issues. Which is a... choice? I guess? Kenneth Branagh's love of Shakespearean tragedy really shines through, is all I'm saying. Tom really established his brilliance right out of the gate, so that brings it to a solid 8/10 on my Loki-scale.

The Avengers - now... look. This movie has a lot of flaws. But I love it. I was in my mid-20s okay, I was exposed to it at a weird time in my life and I was obsessed. I watched it three times in cinemas, including once in New York City, while I was there on a study trip with uni. I probably watched it half a dozen times after that. And Loki was so much fun in this! Just the perfect villain for that movie. He was the Moment. I'm not even gonna get into the tragedy of the mind stone's influence fucking with him, Thor not realizing, lack of acknowledgement of the fact that he literally tried to commit suicide two movies ago, or the many implications of past torture by Thanos, I just like watching him be flamboyantly evil and smack people with his cane. The other stuff gives the story depth that I'm not actually sure it actually deserves. Still, 10/10

Thor: The Dark World - we can all agree that this movie is, uh, kinda meh. At least in my opinion. However, I think it's very important in terms of Loki's character development and the development of his relationship with Thor. For that reason alone, I admit to having watched it more than once. Also, he's such a little dramatic bitch in this, it's what we all deserve. 7/10.

Thor: Ragnarok - this is where some people will start throwing rocks at me. I really, really like this movie. I love Taika Waititi, I love his whimsical humour, I love how goddamn silly and lighthearted this thing is compared to The Dark World (and Avengers: Age of Ultron). Fuck grimdark angst, we have bright colours and fun. It just means the few emotional whammies hit all the harder too. I've heard people confidently call this movie a character assassination, in regards to Loki, and I really can't express in words how little I care. He is now Jeff Goldblum's trophy twink. No explanation needed. Let the guy be chaotic for once, he's earned it! 100/10.

Avengers: Infinity War - nope. Dont' wanna talk about it. -10000/10

Loki - well. I'll refer you to this edit of mine:

This show is a general mess on so many fronts, but I still feel such fondness for it. And judging from the number of viewers it got, the world will watch just about anything if it has Loki in it, which, you know, valid. And would I be running a whole damn blog about it if I actively disliked it? No, I would not. 9/10.

There we go. Based on my personal rating, Thor: Ragnarok wins. The trophy twink can't lose.

#asks

[atlasllm]

I know you're blog title is probably exaggerating, but I wanna know exactly what moments and what about them made you cry. Hold nothing back. I'm willing to read a Bible's worth of this stuff. I love hearing about how people emotionally connect to pieces of fiction in a positive way, especially if it's something near and dear to me like Sonic.

nope i am not exaggerating in the slightest lol, i've kept count for the past year

That being said, I don't remember ALL of each moments that made me cry, but I answered a similar question a year ago (back then the count was only 6 times)

I cried because Sonic reminds me of a very obscure comfort character of mine and one of the 2 people I talk to who know about this character confirm that he is exactly like him, which hits deep because they both are optimistic punk guitarists who would definitely fit My Chemical Romance's "Danger Days" album due to their life philosophies

I made a new friend recently One of my friends has been a Sonic fan longer than I've been alive, and since I got into Sonic post-Forces they said that they were glad the first game I can experience be released is Sonic Frontiers because of how massively amazing it is in comparison to how the franchise has been for the past decade

Catching up with a friend since they're working and I'm in college and they allowed me to infodump on Discord call about Sonic Frontiers... I forget WHY exactly it made me cry at the moment but like, god this game was so good and I was only WATCHING gameplay

I think more recent ones I remember have been:

Outright crying because it took me so many hours to finally beat the Master King Koco Trial (I have video of this but I don't think I'm ready to use vids of me crying for internet clout yet LMAO)

Hearing I'm Here (Revisited) for the first time and hearing the instrumental + Kellin Quinn's vocals as Eggman aims the rifle, seeing Sonic grow so powerful he defeats The End in one shot, floats through space unconscious, and lands back down onto the planet okay and finally able to be with his friends again

I'm not 100% sure about these ones, but I guarantee-ish moments I have cried were:

Watching Penny "Snapcube" Parker play Sonic Frontiers (like I've said, this is the first Sonic game I've actively followed coming out + would have just watched let's plays before realizing it looked so fun to play that I wanted it for Christmas) and her playing the entire Chaos Island storyline where Sonic admits Tails is basically his little brother and he'll miss him when he goes out on his own adventure

Sage's sacrifice + hearing Dear Father

That shot in the original ending (Penny played Hard Mode so it was getting me antsy enough to see what the ending would be after the bullet hell section) where it's just Sonic flying through the air like a shooting star; the shot of Sonic being a literal star coupled with the specific part of I'm With You that plays just looked so incredibly beautiful

While once again I'm not sure if I can name specific moments, but Sonic Frontiers is genuinely one of the best experiences I've had. For the longest time I've only played free-to-play MMOs like Wizard101 and Toontown (and also Minecraft Bedrock edition), and while I have yet to catch up to Wizard101, I've never really gotten attatched to triple A games.

Watching Penny play Sonic Frontiers, after ages of hearing that "oh this old Sonic game is the best" "eugh these past few Sonic games are terrible" and seeing a human just genuinely enjoy this fresh new game, especially as the first Sonic game that I as a newer fan was seeing experience in real time, just filled me with so much joy. Seeing each update come out to make it better and better, and seeing Frontiers completely blow itself out of the water and put Sonic on-par with other triple A games instead of being seen as a joke 24/7, it made the experience of Sonic Frontiers being my first real Sonic game so much more sweeter. And heck, it's incredibly accessible! Wizard101 is basically a card game simulator and even I with a keyboard was able to 100% it, play hard mode, and complete the DLC!

I think that in itself, seeing Frontiers as my first Sonic game and seeing how good it is, just makes the entire experience really emotional for me. How so many of my friends who've been fans longer than me are excited I get to experience the same joy they felt when they first became Sonic fans. It's like seeing an old friend that you haven't seen for a long time mixed with the sheer joy of waking up on Christmas morning during your childhood.

I have a lot of feelings about this game ;w;

EDIT: OH OH that part where Sonic grabs the giant sword and slashes Knight in half coupled with the ending of Find Your Flame 100% made me cry too

#atlas speaks; #atlas answers; #an-archaic-archivist #my apologies if this isn't much of an infodump #i just have an essay due midnight :'D

[apollo-cackling]

not trying to be mean but honestly any sentiment that's like "[non-Traditional form/genre of literature*] raised my bar for queer representation so much I can't ever return to Published Books because it's all bad straight stuff/straight people writing queerness/etc" is kind of distasteful to me now. they're there. there's literally plenty** out there now if you just look.

[edit: I want to clarify that I don't think published books are inherently better than any other forms of literature and that I'm not trying to say people should always aspire to have a media diet of only 100% Published Literature (the assumptions inherent in which create a false dichotomy anyway bc plenty of published queer books I've read are fun romps whose themes are incidental to the main goal of being fun)

I just dislike the sentiment I've seen around that mainstream queer stuff is either just subtext or written Inauthentically because it's just. untrue. and it cedes ground to queerphobic people saying the only ground queer stories can occupy is artless smut/popcorn trash with no meaning (which isn't a bad thing to be in and of itself, but it's hardly like queerness can't be artistic)]

The Darkness Outside Us came out last year. Ophelia After All came out this year. The Honeys came out this year. the second book of Burning Kingdoms came out this year. Zachary Ying came out this year. Delilah Green came out this year. This is Why They Hate Us came out this year. And that's just the few on my 'anticipated of 2022' GR shelf (+ The Darkness Outside Us because goddamn that book was good).

it's completely fine to be dissatisfied with how the publishing industry (/mainstream media but I'm mostly read so) is! I also have many gripes with it! but it just feels distasteful to demean Published Books on the whole as if it (/other mainstream media but again see above) is a monolith and diminish the the very queer queer books by queer - gender and sexuality - authors (Ocean Vuong, Akwaeke Emezi, Victoria Lee, CB Lee, Ashley Herring Blake, Shaun David Hutchinson, need I go on?)

it's mostly a massive pet peeve of mine but it just feels kinda. lazy? obviously if something like this's post date was like 2010 or if it was a situation where access not awareness is the problem etc that's a different situation but like. most of the posts/tweets/etc I've seen of this are recent and most of them have the tone of "it's perfectly safe for me to read/watch queer media I just couldn't find any" which

I really started reading queer books in 2020ish. I googled 'queer fantasy' (because I like fantasy) and found a bunch of different booklists, took a few recs and just started there. I found lgbtqreads. I followed a few queer folks on GR (once you look through a certain type of books' reviews a few common names start popping up) and noted down the books they were reading and now I have a bunch of queer books that I need to get around to.

I just. if you're into books there's plenty of queer books literally right there (and recently enough big publishers have started publishing them that they're appearing in libraries too). it's not a dichotomy. you don't have to read Published Books if you don't want to but it's not all straight there goddammit. and this isn't even bringing up self-published books

#*fanfic，d/nmei (chinese bl) etc #<- to avoid maintagging #**still not a lot on a percentage basis of total books published (aside from self pub) yeah publishing industry bad but still plenty #in general I dislike the idea that any category of media is inherently anything #also the phrase 'd/nmei raised the bar for queer stories for me' is a bit funny to me bc. these are webnovels. most of them 80+ chapters #and like from what I've seen most of them are either 100ish or 300ish chapters #I don't think they've really gotten popular until recently either too so I doubt most folks have fully read more than two lol #imagine if I watched bloom into you and said 'anime changed queer stories for me' lol #the specific post I saw that got me to put this into words was this one post on the d/nmei subreddit about how reading western quote 'BL' #feels off compared to d/nmei bc they felt like badly written wattpad fics and unrealistic wrt queerness which I was side-eyeing pretty hard #eh it bothered me for a few reasons. some of them I think are fair - the ones I made this post for #some of them I'm not sure is fair which is why they're in the tags #specifically that the specific post reminded me of the stereotype of the straight girl completely uninterested in the messiness and #complexities of queerness or exploring queerness at all (unless it's aestheticised suffering) and just wants to see pretty boys together #but I'm not sure how fair that is because I'm not transmasc and I'm not mlm lol #anyway yea lol #my rambles #queer stuff #media #10n

[neuroglitch]

I think sensory processing issues aren't seen as specific to asd is because

1) sensory processing issues are either an incredibly common symptom found in a lot of neurodivergencies or their own separate disorder that is commonly comorbid with asd (I personally like to think of them as their own separate thing as many people in my family have sensory processing issues but otherwise would be considered neurotypical)

2) it's only in the most recent edition of the dsm that sensory processing issues are mentioned in connection to asd, specifically in the "determining severity level" section (I personally dislike this change since I don't get why you'd use a sensory disorder to determine the severity of a social skills/communication/executive functioning disorder)

But basically it boils down to sensory processing issues being acknowledged as a common symptom in multiple disorders before this current wave of asd activism, combined with sensory processing issues only recently being officially connected with asd in the dsm.

Also I just want to say I really appreciate your posts about symptoms not being tied to one diagnosis and about relating and stuff. Sensory processing issues run in my family, and I had ongoing trauma my entire childhood that started before I can remember, so it's literally impossible to say in my case whether I'm autistic, have sensory processing issues and trauma, or some combination of those things. I've also got some type of dissociative plurality thing going on but it doesn't really match the experiences I've seen other people describe and like. It's just really nice seeing the acknowledgement from someone else that not everyone is going to fit neatly in the boxes created by the dsm or online disability communities

Hey!! Yeah I think you are correct on account of the sensory processing - it's a trait commonly seen in a variety of difficulties (and even on its own entirely), and not as heavily associated with ASD specifically. And I feel like if hard pressed, most people would eventually agree that no ONE symptom or trait cannot exist in the same form in someone who's not austistic. And in that way I find myself questioning the protectiveness over certain terms that are used to describe some of those experiences. Esp when it's directed at other disabled and marginalized people who are looking for community and language to describe their experiences.. (not arguing anything, just thinking out loud :p)

I'm happy my post resonated with you!! I relate to what you describe to a degree, as well as I relate it to the experience of a number of my loved ones. And it's really one of the reasons I'm so against this "disorder superiority", where symptoms occurring outside a confirmed specific 'correct disorder' are considered misconstrued at best, fake at worst.

Which leads to everything from people telling me I "must be austistic" because I'm so awkward and weird, to people insisting my friend must have terrible "repressed childhood trauma" she has forgotten bc she has experiences of identity compartmentalization, to people hating on me for being "endo" until they talk to me for ten minutes and then insist I have osdd, to me anxiously trying to avoid using terms like stimming because it's not "mine" and I'm a bad ally if I don't say "fidgeting" bc only autistic people stim (but I also fidget and it's not the same thing), claiming my heavily traumatized partner can't have the symptoms of DID because most of the major trauma happened after he was 10, etc etc.

And it's shit bc for someone like you, it's not like you don't relate to autistic experiences a lot (orherwise you wouldn't be wondering), but unless you are willing to publically agree that you're austistic, there's going to be people who will be armchair diagnosing you if you talk about you experiences, or who will find it distasteful for you to discuss your experiences.

Similarly to how people on occasion have been SO MAD about my odd little plural identity stuff, until they conclude that I'm osdd but has been misled by the evil antipsychiatric agenda or whatever.. and it's like.

If the ONLY thing I would need to do differently for those people to stop being unhappy about my public behaviour is to diagnose myself with osdd (a disorder not present in any diagnostic manual where I live, and based on a set of symptoms that has been repeatedly (i believe wrongly) counted among my psychotic symptoms by all psychiatrists I've ever spoken to), then that's fucked up.

I DO NOT NEED TO CONSENT TO BEING CATEGORISED USING ANY WHICH SPECIFIC DIAGNOSTIC MANUAL FOR MY EXPERIENCES TO BE VALID.

[Do these people think that these sets of symptoms didn't exist before they got described in the Big Book? What ahistorical arrogance! To assume that yes, now, at this Peak of Psychiatric Science, we have finally successfully described all things ever correctly, and there could be no more left to discover or describe - yet clearly 30 years ago (or in most of the world) they were (are) missing a lot, according to these very same people?! Baffling.]

Ultimately it really doesn't matter whether any of us could or could not technically be diagnosed with this or that thing. And frankly, as an educated psychologist this may sound petty or even hypocritical.. But fucking hell, I am tired of the amount of deference to our psychiatric overlords and the DSM-bible..

And the amount of toxicity and exclusion and abuse and gatekeeping that is hiding behind "but science says...!".

It does not. It literally does not. I'm not gonna go into it heavily, but the classification of mental disorders is not a particularly data driven project.

Sorry for going off on a whole ass rant... oops... i think I'm in a Mood lol

#psychiatry critical

[rjalker]

Extremely funny (and by funny I mean aggravating) to me that other people who use neopronouns want to have strict definitions of what makes something a neopronouns or not, with the definition they've chosen excluding people.

"Something can only be a neopronoun if it was created after 1800!"

so you think thee/thy/thou/ect. as personal pronouns aren't neopronouns?

Why use a definition that /by definition/ is going to exclude people who face the same challenges?

By the above definition, it/its pronouns aren't neopronouns.

How does that help anyone? Are you going to argue that people who use it/its pronouns aren't marginalized? Are you going to argue that society as a whole is more accepting of it/its pronouns than other neopronouns?

Like I hate to break it to you (except no, I don't) but it/its pronouns are literally treated as /even worse/ than other neopronouns 90% of the time.

And same with they/them pronouns! Yeah, sure, /queer activists/ and other people actively fighting for trans rights are fine with using they/them as singular pronouns, but most people still act like it's an impossible request that's too confusing and impossible to accomplish.

I've seen multiple instances of people being hold that they/them is too confusing, can't they just make up some new pronouns instead?

Literally:

[ID: Two of the first halves of the "I can excuse racism" meme, now edited to say, "I can excuse neopronouns, but I draw the line at" "calling someone and it" and "calling one person 'they'". End ID.]

Just because some Queer people are accepting of they/them pronouns does not mean people who use they/them pronouns have the same privileges as those who use he/him or she/her.

Literally just look at any fictional character who uses they/them pronouns, and look at the way the fandom has to fight tooth and nail to get people to stop misgendering them. Look at Kris from Deltarune and tell me people who use they/them pronouns are treated with just as much respect as those who use he/him or she/her. The majority of people literally think a character using they/them means their pronouns and gender are up for the reader to decide! Even when the story they're in explicitly tells you otherwise!

Look at any fucking section of The Murderbot Diaries fandom, and tell me people who use it/its pronouns are treated with just as much respect as those who use he/him or she/her.

People who use it/its pronouns aer told we need to just use they/them, because calling someone an it is dehumanizing and wrong no matter what.

People who use they/them are told they just need to make up brand new pronouns, because using "they" for a single person is too confusing and impossible.

If you decide that people only belong in the neopronoun community if their pronouns were invented after 1800, you are excluding so many people, many of whom are literally treated worse than other neopronoun users most of the time.

How can you be Queer and then turn around and say that "no actually, Neopronouns are the one thing that must have a strict, unwavering definition set in stone, so no, you don't belong, because your pronouns are older than mine, so that means you do not face any of the same challenges I do, even though you often explicitly face even more criticism than I do?"

I've literally had people who use nothing but neopronouns tell me that I can't use it/its pronouns because they're evil and dehumanizing and bad, and I just have to use they/them or pick some "acceptable" neopronouns.

The entire point of the neopronoun community is to support people whose pronouns are not accepted by society. If you set up a strict, unwavering definition of who is and is not allowed in, you are literally excluding so many fucking people who need the exact same support.

It/its are neopronouns because one of the people I told my pronouns to in real life laughed, then waited for me to also laugh, saw that I wasn't laughing, and went, "Wait, you are joking, right? You can't really expect anyone to call you an it, right? Tell me you're joking." Then literally stormed away when I told them no, I wasn't joking, my pronouns were in fact it/its.

They/them are neopronouns because have you literally ever just fucking talked to someone who uses they/them pronouns? Have you never seen the way people treat those who use they/them pronouns?? Do you pay attention at all??

Just because they/them pronouns are **Sometimes** seen as more acceptable than neopronouns doesn't erase the fact that they're also **Sometimes** seen as less acceptable. And neither of those instances erases the fact that people who use they/them are constantly misgendered, looked down upon, and viciously mocked.

= = =

Ask yourself these questions:

"What do I hope to gain by excluding people who use it/its and they/them from the neopronoun community?"

"Who does it help that I am excluding people from the neopronoun community?"

"What am I trying to accomplish by excluding people?"

"Why do I think it's important that it/its and they/them not be considered neopronouns?"

= = =

If your answer to any of these questions is, "Well, I'm looking for new pronouns to try out..."

congratulations.

That's what the terms nounself pronouns and novapronouns are for.

The Neopronoun community is for everyone whose pronouns are not accepted by society as a whole. Unless you're going to pretend that people who use it/its and they/them are treated with the exact same level of respect as those who use he/him and she/her (which inherently makes you an asshole), any argument you make to exclude them is just going to make you look like an exclusionist jerk.

[ID: The meme of four hands clasped in solidarity, with the four arms labeled, "Novapronouns", "Nounselfpronouns", "they/them pronouns", "it/its pronouns". The center is labeled, "Neopronouns". End ID.]

The goal should be building the community and supporting eachother, not policing who is or is not allowed in because they don't fit some arbitrary, uber-strict definition.

Being Queer is about breaking down walls, not building them.

The Neopronoun community should be supporting eveyone whose pronouns are not accepted by society, and that includes people who use it/its or they/them.

#Neopronouns #they/them pronouns #it/its pronouns #theythempronouns #ititspronouns #novapronouns #nounself pronouns #supernovapronouns #supernova pronouns #Queer #MOGAI #LIOM #LGBT #LGBTQIA+ #trans #transgender #nonbinary #transnonbinary #genderqueer #pronoun nonconforming #Community #=/= excluding people #Pronouns #Xenogender #ectopronouns #nameself pronouns #Neopronoun community

[lemmilemura]

hii i was the one who requested about the injury one, so ty!

i have a question though, we know you wright for simon ofc (thank you you’re literally a god)

but would you ever consider writing for, marks other characters? (simons actor) just a thought :) i think you would enjoy wayne. but i am all for just simon too.

Why hello again! I'm happy you enjoyed the post :D I wouldn't personally call myself a 'god', per se, but thank you nonetheless.

I have to admit, I have not watched ANYTHING else that he's done. I've seen so many images on Pinterest, and I love them, and the amount of pictures of him beat up is like, lowkey hilarious xD

I do plan on watching Wayne at some point (maybe on stream ;)), cuz I've seen so many images and like two edits on TikTok, but I doubt I'll write for him, because I'm already like, not that great at keeping things in character (Simon is easy cuz tbh he has such low screentime that I can basically say whatever I want ;D), and he's literally the MC of Wayne, so yeah it would be a liiiittle harder.

I have seen some of his other characters too, but I only know of (by name) OOUIL and Wayne, so yeah. There's also one with like weird hair, glasses and a bunny that looks scarily similar to mine O.o

I think I'll stick to just Simon for now, maybe one day I'll expand the roster of characters.

#one of us is lying #oouil #simon kelleher #oouil tv show

[broke-on-books]

✒️ please!!

Send me a ✒️ and I'll pick a poem I think you'd like

After flipping through my notebooks I decided to go with my first instinct for you, which was "A Toast to the Alchemists" by Laura Gilpin. This poem hasn't been published online officially, so they're aren't a ton of sites that have it that I could find with a quick Google search. However I've attatched photos of a reddit post with it along with my version in my journal.

I picked this poem because of its themes of time and the passage of time, as well as magic and giving emotional significance to the most mundane and clinical of things (atoms and elements). In other words, taking magic from the world around us, especially through a lens usually seen as lacking wonder or whimsy. Also vibes, I mainly did it based on vibes.

Some other poems I considered in my search/additional recommendations are listed under the cut:

If you liked the writing of this poem, and haven't read it already (or have) I definitely recommend "The Two-Headed Calf" by Laura Gilpin. It's by the same author and is her most famous poem and is fairly well known and also soooooo good. So good.

Poems with similar themes:

Poems with similar themes to "A Toast to the Alchemists" are

"Dusting" by Marilyn Nelson 💘 (literally cried to this. To be fair it was 10 minutes after I finished the HDM finale so it was mainly because of that but still. Great poem.)

"The Sciences Sing a Lullabye" by Albert Goldbarth

"Ozymandias" by Percy Bysshe Shelley (90% sure you've read this one its the time theme but inverted and it's great if you haven't)

Rejected picks/Poems that gave me Anu vibes (many for no particular reason):

Poems by Ted Kooser for some reason??? NO idea why they're very different from the ones above but some of my faves are "Selecting a Reader", "In a Country Cemetery in Iowa", "The Constellation Orion" and "Flying by Night" (I'm v much questioning this pick now but I'll keep it up here just in case)

Honestly a bunch of random unrelated stuff was popping out at me ("Listen" by Miller Williams, "Cartoon Physics, Part 1" by Nick Flynn, "Snow" by David Berman) and like a million billion more which I all got from the same anthology (Poetry 180, edited by Billy Collins) so if you want to read a bunch more poetry, based on vibes alone, I'd say look for the book, the website, or the sequel. The poems from that book aren't too similar to the one above but it's really one of two books I generally recommend people right off the bat (it was my lit teachers favorite lol) because it's meant to get young adults and teens into poetry and introduce contemporary poetry in general. Idk how much poetry you've read whatever but even if you aren't new to it it's still a good compilation of late 90s/early 00s poetry that makes you think but isn't super long/totally incomprehensible

Anyways that got WAY longer than I anticipated or anyone probably wanted but poetry is an obsession of mine and recommending poetry is much more complicated and harder that it looks, even for the people you know best in the whole world AFTER interviewing their opinions on poetry, not to mention how difficult it would be for internet friends on tumblr. But anyways there's a couple poems, I got the vibes as close as I could with the poems I had on file. (Although i do feel like I'm missing something big 🤔) Anyways thanks for the ask Anu! Hope you thought my pick was alright!

#and please for the love of god dont feel pressured to read ANYTHING on here i spend hours and hours reading poems so when i rattle off names #like that its very much me bouncing along like a frog eating skittles hopping from poem to poem to poem #based on vague vibes and feelings #also also also i already knew this when i made this ask game BUT. recommending poetry is like trying to juggle with your eyes closed because #you just KNOW you just KNOW there is a group of perfect fall in love poems out there but theres a million factors you have to take into #account to find them. like theres theme theres rhyme theres rhythm theres style theres readability/directness #and you have to try and predict someones opinions on all of that while also trying to gauge their level of patience on topics like #age of poem clarity use of standard language and spelling experimental features and line breaks #when a use of any of those they dont like can turn them off a poem entirely #like we were asoue fans together so youd probably like something with ambiguity and could tolerate a more classical look #BUT then comes in the length factor and also a bit clarity plus we have to remember theme and i cant think of any poems that fit that idea #with a theme you would like that i would feel comfortable recommending (because some poems are good but also difficult) #and i LOVE difficult poems theyre my besties but i always hate them during the first 3 reads at least and who has time for that if you dont #have poetry brain disease like i do #anyways. thats a very long way of saying. i tricked you into asking me to ramble abt poetry mwahahahahahahaha #also if anyone out there feels like theyre someone who rambles a lot about their interests to others and can at times feel a little guilty #abt that the poem “To The Sea” by Anis Mojgani talks a bit about that from an outsider pov #blah #poetry tag #answered #jacobsnicket

[dominustempori]

Not every day an actor you admire gets you to watch one of their movies...

Long post, you've been duly warned.

So if you've seen my more recent blogs, I've been obsessing (a bit, healthily, I assure you) over a certain adventure game series. And from there, I'm doing like I usually do when I want to know more about an actor I REALLY like. Finding other stuff they've done, checking out what social media they use here and there, non-profits they support and promote and what have you...

Enter Alexandra Boyd. Actor, writer, director...inspiration.

Podcasts? Check. Her own personal site? Check. Clips from past British shows she had minor AND major roles in? Check.

Finding out her latest film is a documentary about some of the "core extras," including herself, that were in 1997's 'Titanic?' And the trailer for it looks REALLY good?...didn't see that coming.

Truth: until, like, literally now, I NEVER SAW TITANIC.

I was probably the ONLY teenager in AMERICA that had no desire to go watch it, or had a crush on Leo DiCaprio for that matter.

But...granted, I remembered that other actors I've come to REALLY like over time since I was in high school, they were in the movie: Victor Garber, Bernard Hill, Ioan Gruffud, David Warner...you get the idea. I think I prefer Kate Winslet's performance in "Sense and Sensibility" to her Rose but, eh, I'm a little biased.

And, well there's good reasons why 'Titanic' got so many Academy Awards that year...but I'll be real: I was pretty damn excited when "Return of the King" got all of ITS Oscars for 2003.

Anyway.

Few days ago, I took a chance, hoping I didn't come off as too-much-of-an-awkward fangirl, and shot Alexandra a shoutout on Messenger, saying how amazing it was that she came back for her role as Elaine in Return to Monkey Island. And, kind of offhandedly, mentioned how cool the "Ship of Dreams" (her documentary that's releasing soon) looked, and...how I never saw Titanic but now was kind of inspired to after how many years.

She kindly responded to my message (yay!) and highly recommended to watch "Titanic" at the very least to obtain more of and appreciation for 'Ship of Dreams' when it comes out (I've no idea if it'll be in theaters where I live, but then again, I'm going to ask an acquaintance of mine, who just happens to be the director of a local historical theatre with a small modern cinema next to it, if they could possibly get hold of it. Small city living yo.)

Overall...I liked it. I definitely need to watch it again. Full on experience should be more than my library's letterboxed basic edition on my laptop.

Some scenes and lines...I was all "Oh yeah, right. Uh-huh." Dramatic license sort of getting in the way. Strongest dialogue...maybe not so much? Little cornball in places? Mm, well, putting on the romantic plot in an ultimate disaster movie...kind of lends itself to that sort of thing.

But didn't I LOVE to hate (well, strongly dislike) Billy Zane and David Warner's characters. Which of course is the idea. And I was internally cheering on Kate and Leo pretty much the whole way through. Kathy Bates was probably the best of all the first class passengers that got focused on.

Held my breath and tensed up and...closed my eyes for many of the stunt/action shots once the ship hit the iceberg. That music score realllly helped with that. Once it got to that certain high angle and you got more of the screaming...yeah, that broke me. Knew it was coming but still...hit me right in the feels. And didn't Victor look SO SAD when he realized the truth that his ship's design turned out to be SO flawed. Oh he plays that so well.

BUT I didn't get teary until good old (then unknown) Ioan "My Man Hornblower" Gruffud turned his lifeboat around and desperately called out if anyone in the water was still alive.

Yeah, I liked it. More than I thought I would. Surprised me quite a bit, which is usually a good thing. Need to find me more behind-the-scenes stuff. I'm intrigued, and that's always a good sign that I enjoyed a film.

So TL, DR: Alexandra Boyd basically got me to watch 'Titanic.' How cool is that? Thanks, Alexandra, and cheers!

#amateur time lord turns film critic #titanic 1997 #only took me forever #alexandra boyd #she's the coolest

[babymetaldoll]

"The Sean Hotchner effect" (Spencer Reid / Reader)

My gif 😉

Requested: Yes

Summary: Spencer is jealous 'cos reader (and the rest of the female team) thinks Hotchner's younger brother is hot.

Warnings: Cursing

Category: Fluff

Word count: 4,5K

A/N: I can' believe I actually wrote a fic! I've been so busy taking care of my grandparents I've just been updating DIWK, 'cos those chapters were long written and edited. Hope you all enjoy this little story, I'll bring you a more next week, hopefully! send you all my love!! be safe babes!

Masterlist

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Working at the BAU, the team was used to seeing the worst of human behavior. Murder scenes, abuse, psychopath, you name it.

That's why seeing the apparition that walked into the bullpen that morning was such a big shock for us, the team's females.

- "What are you doing out of your bunker?"- Elle asked Penelope, who was standing next to my desk. I whipped my head, surprised to see Garcia there, out of the blue, not even looking at us. Instead, her eyes were fixated on someone who wasn't Derek.

- "I was on my way to file the things that I... file?"- Garcia made a pause as Elle and I slowly turned and looked at the guy our tech analyst couldn't stop staring at.

He was gorgeous. Tall, blonde, perfect smile. The kind of guy that could definitely get every girl's attention. We didn't get many of those at the BAU that often, except, of course, for Dr. Spencer Reid. My best friend was hands down the hottest agent in the whole FBI, and I enjoyed having him near. But this guy was completely different.

- "Who is that?"- Elle asked and stood by our side.

- "The Future Mr. Garcia,"- Penelope whispered as the tall young man walked over us and cut us one flirtatious smile. I couldn't help it and returned the smile.

- "Hi"- I smiled and waved- "How can I help you?"

- "Hey. I'm..."

- "Sean!"- Derek Worst time ever Morgan ruined the whole moment as he walked over and took that hot guy away from us. Now at least we knew his name was Sean.

- "You must be looking for your brother."- Morgan said and tapped on his back.

- "Yeah."

- "Right this way"- and that's how that apparition was gone from our lives and directed straight to... Aaron Hotchner's office?

- "Brother as in?"- Elle asked and turned to us, confused- "That's Hotch's brother?!"

- "Maybe Hotch is adopted,"- Garcia whispered, not taking her eyes from Sean until he disappeared behind the door.

- "I feel scammed. We didn't get the hot brother"- I sighed and shook my head- "Well, I might have never solved a case with that smile around the bullpen"- Elle and Penelope giggled, but someone coughed behind my back, and immediately, I knew who he was.

- "Who are you guys talking about?"

Spence Walter Reid was standing right behind my back, and the look in his eyes wasn't as sweet and friendly as I was already used to. He was upset. I just didn't know why.

- "No one"- I lied and looked away.

- "Who were you all staring at?"- Reid asked. I quickly returned to my desk (right in front of his), grabbed a few files, and pretended to be working.

- "Aaron's brother"- Elle explained- "Apparently, we got the wrong Hotchner."

- "Sean?"- Spencer frowned and looked at us- "He just got into Georgetown law school. Maybe he came to pick up his brother to celebrate."

- "Who is gonna celebrate?"- JJ walked over, holding a bunch of folders, and looked at us.

- "Hotch and my future husband"- Garcia sighed and kept looking over at Aaron's door.

- "Sean, Hotch's brother is here, and believe me, he looks nothing like his brother."

Elle smiled and moved a chair across from her desk to make sure she had the best seat in the room to see Sean when he walked out. I shook my head as Elle winked at me.

- "Stop pretending you didn't see him, (Y/N). You were the one who talked to him."

I swear, I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, burning my skin. I slowly turned around and looked at him with a small, innocent smile. But all I got in return was a stern look.

- "I just... wanted to... help him"- I tried to excuse myself, but Elle laughed, and Garcia followed.

- "Sure, babe. He looked like he was hopelessly lost in the BAU. He needed your help to find his brother."- I don't know why Elle was acting like that, but she made sure Spencer would be even more upset than he already was.

- "Stop it! I just asked if he needed any help."

- "Oh! and you would have given him a hand with anything he needed, wouldn't you?"- Elle chuckled and winked again.

- "Oh sweet Jesus, I would. All he has to do is ask, and he..."- Penelope got carried away in second, and she only paused her words when Hotch's door slammed open, and we all looked at Sean storming out of the office.

- "That's Hotch's brother?"- JJ asked, surprised. Elle nodded and literally bit her lips as she stared at him, walking over. Penelope barely even blinked, and I made my best not to make eye contact with him. Instead, I looked at Reid. And he locked eyes in mine, but again, his look was cold.

- "I don't see it"- JJ stared at Sean as he clearly argued with Hotch. I stayed still, sitting behind my desk, looking at the files.

- "You know what?! Don't profile me, Aaron!"- Sean yelled, and I could only imagine Penelope's crush growing bigger with each word that came from his mouth.

- "Now I see it!"- JJ followed Sean with her eyes as he rushed out of the BAU.

- "I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you walk away."- Penelope whispered, and we all giggled.

- "Do you think Hotch is hiding that ass?"- Elle asked, and I couldn't hold the laughter.

- "I didn't want to think of that!"

- "Oh please!! (Y/N) stop being such a goodie-goodie!!"- Elle smacked my arm and shook her head- "You stared at his ass. Deal with it. You are single! You don't have to pretend you don't see a hot guy when you see one."

- "I saw him. He was cute. I'm just... not... that... affected...."

- "You don't have to pretend,"- Spencer said suddenly and raised an eyebrow- "Your body language indicates that you are nervous. You are blinking rapidly, our pupils are dilated, and you've been bouncing your knees since you sat down. Obviously, Hotch's brother affected you."

I opened my mouth to answer, but Hotch himself interrupted us and announced we had a case. Spencer just kept his eyes on mine for a few more seconds before walking away quickly to the conference room.

- "Looks like pretty boy is jealous,"- Elle teased and stood up too- "I don't know why if he ain't your boyfriend."

- "I know he ain't my boyfriend, and I'm sure he is not jealous. You are all just acting like school girls around a hot guy."- I tried to argue as I stood up and followed them to the conference room.

- "Oh honey, when you see a guy like that, you just can't help it."- Garcia smiled and sighed- "He was the sugar that got me going for the rest of the day."

- "It's only nine am."- JJ added, and Garcia just sighed.

- "That's how good it was."

The case was in Terra Mesa, New Mexico. A clearly angry Hotch announced wheels up in thirty, and we all headed back to our desk to gather our things.

- "Hey, I brought you back your copy of The Illustrated Man"- I walked to Spencer and handed him over his book- "Maybe after the case, we can get a coffee and talk about it."

- "Maybe not"- he grabbed it from my hands and put it on his satchel.

- "Why not?"

- "I don't feel like it."- Spencer avoided looking at me. He just closed his bag and walked away from me.

- "Hey! What did I do?"- I asked him and followed him, but he didn't even look at me.

- "Spencer, I'm talking to you!"

- "And as you can notice, I don't wanna talk to you."

His answer stopped me in my tracks and left me speechless. Spencer got into the elevator and pushed the button to close the door as fast as possible.

He had never acted like that with me. He had never talked to me like that. Shit! He had never been an asshole with me before. I had seen Reid being a jerk with people when he is mad, but he had never been like that with me. And all that just 'cos me, and the girls were a little unprofessional?

Apparently, Spencer was furious with me because during the whole investigation, he kept avoiding me. Of course, it didn't help that Hotch paired me with Reid and Morgan to talk to a young girl who had been abducted from the crime scene.

- "So, pretty girl, I saw you yesterday. Your eyes were shining when you talked to Sean"- Morgan started teasing me the second we got into the SUV.

- "I don't know what you are talking about."- I whispered and looked outside.

- "Oh please, you, Garcia, JJ, even Elle, the four girls were drooling over Hotchner's younger brother."

- "That's not true"- I denied right away- "We were all surprised. I had no idea Hotch had a brother."

And Spencer just snorted at my words.

- "What?"- I turned around and looked at him. He was sitting at the back seat, alone, arms crossed on his chest, avoiding eye contact.

- "Maybe you should stop talking about Hotch's hot brother and focus on the case."- his voice was cold and distant. I tried to read him, but all I could see was anger.

- "Ok, kid."- Morgan chuckled and shook his head - "No need to get all defensive."

- "I'm not defensive. I'm just saying we have to solve a case. People are dead, and you are still rambling about how hot Hotchner's brother is. We are not a fucking gossip show. Enough with it already."

I widened my eyes as I stared at him, bitter and angry. Not really a good combo. Spencer is one passive-aggressive asshole when he is mad, and you don't want to deal with him under those circumstances. Believe me.

But Derek just laughed and continued driving. He winked at me and pretended Spencer hadn't said anything hurtful or even evil. But, to be honest, Morgan looked composed and even amused. In fact, I'm pretty sure he was actually enjoying that awkward ride.

I wish I could tell you that was all Spencer did that day, but no. He actually exceeded himself in the art of being an asshole.

- "We are looking for a cult leader."- Reid started giving the profile to the police department- "Typically men between the age of 25 and 35"- he made a pause and looked at me.

- "What?"- I whispered, thinking maybe he wanted me to continue talking.

- "Nothing. I thought you were going to start giggling or sighing."- Elle and Morgan looked surprised as Gideon frowned, not getting Reid's comment.

- "Over a sociopath underachiever with an extremely abusive childhood?"- I asked him, as I continued describing the profile- "Why would I?"

- "I don't know."- he shrugged and continued walking around the office -"I thought after yesterday, it was going to be your usual behavior around men that age."

- "Reid"- Hotch's voice was cold and severe. Spencer looked at him and turned around to find an empty seat. Aaron continued giving the profile, and I turned to my best friend, enraged. I wasn't going to tolerate that passive-aggressive attitude.

- "Fuck you."- I mouthed and stared straight into his eyes.

Avoiding and ignoring Reid was a challenging task to achieve. Hotch was nice and wise enough to keep us apart for the rest of the day, but that didn't stop him from staring. And his eyes burned my skin each time we were together in the same room.

I made my best effort and avoided looking at him the whole time. But I felt him staring. And though I was honestly mad at him now, a part of me just wondered what on earth was he so upset about?

I found out the whole truth later that night, back at the hotel. I was already in bed, trying to forget about the case, 'cos it had already been solved, and we were supposed to go back home early the following day.

I was alone, 'cos my roommate Elle was in the hotel bar with JJ and Morgan. I didn't feel like going. I just wanted my pajamas and do nothing.

Fine, that's not what I wanted to do. I wanted to be with Reid, talking about The Illustrated man, or any other book, drinking coffee, making jokes, laughing.

But he was mad at me, and now I was mad at him too, which meant things weren't going to be smooth between us in a long while. We had only fought once before until that day. It happened when we first became friends, and we argued over some random Star Wars fact. He didn't admit he was wrong, and when I showed him I was right, he got all defensive and refused to talk to me for a whole week.

Of course, this time, it was going to be a hundred times worse.

I debated whether I should or shouldn't call Reid and yell at him when I heard someone knocking on my door. Of course, I thought it was Elle, so I dragged my weary body from the bed, arguing I had explicitly told her she had to bring her key when she left the room.

But no. It wasn't Elle. In the hall, looking like shit, I found Doctor Spencer Walter Reid.

It wasn't a good sign the way my heart skipped a beat the second I saw him. It didn't get any better when the two of us just stared at each other in silence for a moment, and I felt my whole body tremble only by his presence. I couldn't control it even if I wanted to. I loved him, and it was getting too hard to hide.

- "What are you doing here?"- I made sure my voice was as upset as possible and even made an extra effort to furrow my brows as I stared into his eyes. His look had softened, and you could tell he was nervous. He scratched his hair and fixed his nerdy glasses before speaking.

- "I needed... I wanted... I want to talk to you."- Spencer finally said and sighed, looking at me.

- "Why would I want to talk to you after you humiliated me in front of the whole police department?"

I spat each word and tried to slam the door on his face, but he stopped me before succeeding.

- "Wait, please, (Y/N)"- he pushed the door open and followed me inside the room.

- "Get out, Reid!"- I argued immediately, but he didn't listen. He actually closed the door behind his back and stood behind me. I refused to look at him, 'cos I knew what would happen if I did: I would forgive him too quickly.

- "(Y/N), I'm so sorry. I know I was an asshole. I didn't mean it. I was completely out of place."

Spencer literally vomited his speech in less than three seconds and stayed wordless and silent afterward. I crossed my arms on my chest and stayed still. I really didn't want to talk to him.

- "I'm sorry"- his voice was now a tiny whisper that somehow got inside my heart, melting the fortress I kept building against him.

- "Why did you do it?"- I asked the most straightforward question, but he didn't answer. Spencer stayed quiet for at least two minutes. So I turned around and faced him. His eyes were red, and he was fighting the tears back.

- "Why did you humiliate me, Spencer?"

- "I didn't mean to."

- "So? I don't care what you meant. You did it anyway. You fucking humiliated me in front of the team and in front of the whole police office, and why? 'Cos you were mad at me for being unprofessional? Excuse me, but I think what you did lacked more professionalism than anything I had ever done."

I knew it was a mistake. I knew I didn't have to look at Spencer while I spoke. But I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to cry either, but I was already too upset and way too tired, so the tears started falling down my cheeks. And his followed quickly.

- "I'm so sorry,"- he repeated and bit his lips, staring at me.

- "Why did you do it, Spencer?"- I asked him again, 'cos I still didn't know why he had hurt me so deeply.

- "I was wrong..."

- "Why did you do it?"

I asked for the third time, and my eyes got lost in his. Spencer was holding his breath and debating himself. I could almost hear his thoughts, 'cos it was clear he was overthinking everything going on inside his head.

But he didn't say anything. Spencer just wiped off a few tears that rolled down his cheeks and shook his head. The silence in the room was overwhelming, and all I managed to do was to sigh, disappointed and broken-hearted, and walk to the door and open it. I only wanted him to leave, but he didn't even move. He just looked at me, clenching his jaw, fighting the tears back.

- "I did it because I am in love with you."

Spencer whispered in the most anticlimactic way possible. I frowned, confused, as he didn't even move. I stared at his gestures, his face blood-red in a weird mix of embarrassment and anger.

- "I love you so much it's driving me insane, (Y/N). I've been trying to tell you how I feel for weeks, but I just..."- he ran his hands through his hair, openly frustrated with his own way to deal with the situation, as I just stayed still, trying to understand what was going on.

- "I know it was stupid, and I wish I could do it differently, but I didn't know what to do. But then I saw you looking at Sean, and I knew you would never look at me the same way, 'cos I know I'm not..."

There was no bigger force in the universe than the one that moved my body unconsciously against Spencer. I grabbed his face with both hands and planted a kiss on his lips to shut him up. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just did it 'cos I didn't want to listen to his rambling anymore. For once, probably for the very first time ever since we met, I wanted to shut Spencer Reid up. And the best way I could do that was kissing him until my lips felt numb.

I didn't even let him hesitate. He jumped as soon as I touched him, but he didn't reject me at all. Instead, he wide opened his eyes and stared at me as I winked at him, deepening the kiss.

Spencer's hands slowly found their way to my waist and held me closer to him. His lips were soft and warm, moving carefully along with mine, and as he relaxed into the kiss, the better it got.

I had wasted so much time (mostly at work, bored, avoiding paperwork) fantasizing about kissing Spencer. How his lips would feel and taste. If he would make any noise, if he'd be rough or soft... and now there I was, getting all the answers I ever needed.

My heartbeat faster when I opened my eyes and saw him, deep concentrated into the endless kiss. My hands played with his hair, and I felt him hum, pleased with my movements. I couldn't help myself and smiled, not stopping the kiss.

- "What?"- Spencer asked, but his lips didn't move from mine. Neither of us wanted to stop.

- "Nothing,"- I whispered and shook my head softly- "I just like kissing you."

- "I like kissing you too,"- he answered and moved his hands from my waist to my cheeks and held my face. His hands were so big I could feel him covering most of my cheek. He made me feel secure, safe. Loved. All that only from cupping my face.

- "I love you."- Spencer whispered and opened his eyes. I looked at him and sighed, trying to keep myself together, when all I really wanted was to yell and jump and act like a teenager in love.

- "Me too."

That was all I managed to answer, though I knew he deserved better. He deserved to know how much I loved him, how crazy I was over everything he did. Everything he was. But I couldn't tell him that, not at that minute at least. That night I couldn't really speak much because all I wanted to do was to kiss him. I wanted to kiss Spencer Reid until my lips burned.

But he didn't let me fulfill my dream. As soon as he heard me, he stopped the kiss and stayed very, very still.

- "What happened?"- I panicked, I don't know why- "Did I overstep..."

- "You love me?"- he interrupted me, and his eyes filled with tears. Happy tears. His smile was soft and warm as he stared at me, waiting for an answer.

- "I do,"- I murmured and blushed. Was it too late to blush? Maybe, but I couldn't help it. Not when he was looking at me like that. Like I was the most beautiful woman on earth. No. Like I was the only woman on earth for him.

- "I'm so sorry..."

But I really didn't want to listen to his apology. I had already forgiven him. All I wanted was to kiss him again. And again.

I crushed my lips against his, and this time, I felt him smiling into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he locked his around my waist. We were so close I could feel the warmth of his body as he relaxed a little more, and his fingers started caressing the small on my back.

- "Come here."

I took a few steps back, and he followed, keeping as close to me as possible. Finally, I dragged him to my bed, and he laid by my side. Our legs were intertwined as we melted on that mattress, just kissing.

I honestly never imagined I would kiss Spencer. Maybe that's why I enjoyed it and tasted him (and the moment) in slow motion. He sighed and smiled as his lips and tongue played with mine. One of his hands held my waist as the other played with my hair.

It was heaven. I didn't imagine anything better than being on that bed kissing Spencer Reid. He whispered he loved me again, and I sighed. For a second, it felt I was in a dream.

- "Ok, mama, get out of that.... WHOO!"- Derek, JJ, and Elle stormed into the door and caught Spencer and I kissing on the bed. I felt like a teenager all over again.

- "What the..."- Elle asked was holding the key in her hands, eyes wide opened, in shock.

- "My man!"- Morgan was about to start clapping when JJ grabbed him and Elle's arm.

- "The guys need some privacy. Come on, let's go. You can sleep in my room, Elle"- JJ smiled and closed the door behind her back, but less than a second later, Derek walked in again.

- "Smile to Garcia!"- Derek waved, holding his phone. Spencer closed his eyes and covered his face, embarrassed as I grabbed a pillow and threw it over him.

- "Get the fuck out of my room!"- I shouted, and JJ had to pull Morgan's sleeve to get him out of there. Once the door was closed (again), we waited a few seconds in case Derek tried to interrupt us one more time. But he didn't. Spencer's cheeks were burning red, and he looked so embarrassed it was too sweet. So I leaned over him and kissed the tip of his nose.

- "Hi,"- I whispered and smiled. Reid chuckled and moved closer to me, reaching my lips.

- "Hi."- I sighed, strangely relieved to feel his lips on mine again. I was like my body had already gotten used to kissing him and wanted to do nothing else from that moment on.

- "Hi,"- I repeated and smiled.

- "Hi,"- Reid said again and wrapped his arms around me, moving me until I was sitting on his lap. Life was perfect.

- "I'm so glad Hotch's brother came to visit. He should come more often,"- I murmured and giggled. Spencer frowned and shook his head.

- "I think we are good."- he answered and narrowed his eyes.

- "If he hadn't come, you wouldn't have gotten so jealous, and we wouldn't be kissing right now."- I added, and rubbed his lips with mines, just to make a point. Spencer smiled and fully kissed me.

- "I will send him a muffin basket to George town, then."

- "That's very thoughtful. I love that about you."

- "I love everything about you,"- Spencer whispered and sighed, staring into my eyes.

- "Does this mean we are dating?"- I had to ask. Spencer wide opened his eyes and didn't move for a few seconds -"I'm just asking 'cos you said you loved m and I love you, and if you love and I love you, I'm pretty sure dating would the logical thing to do. But if you don't want to, I would totally understand. I mean, maybe I am assuming..."- Spencer's lips against mine ended with my senseless rambling, and he chuckled into the kiss.

- "What?"- I asked him but didn't move my lips from his. Already that might have become my favorite way to talk to him.

- "You are adorable when you ramble."

- "Shut up"- and Spencer smiled

- "Would you be my girlfriend?"- he simply asked and rested his forehead against mine as he stared at me. I smiled and sighed, pretending to be considering my options. I didn't have any. I wanted to be his.

- "Yes,"- I whispered and kissed him one more time- "I would love to, just promise me you will never be a passive-aggressive jerk with me."

- "Never"- Spencer kissed me, and his hands held me tighter- "I'm so sorry."

- "Just kiss me a few more times so I can properly forgive you"- Reid smiled and crushed his lips against mines.

- "Anything for you."

**

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @all-tings-diego

#Spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #criminal minds #babymetaldoll writes #babymetaldoll edits #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfic #fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Elland Road in Leeds, UK - May 29, 1982 (Part-2)

Fan Stories

“We got a coach from my home town (about 2 hours from memory) and drank an ocean of lager on the way, by the time we got there we needed the toilet so badly we could have exploded! We got into the stadium and waited for the first band of the day. Soon enough a not very well known (to me) American band came on called Heart. They weren't bad but did nothing for me. Then came The Teardrop Explodes who tried and who I reckoned did quite well despite the flying bottles of liquid being hurled at them from the crowd. After them was Joan Jett complete with Blackhearts who got the crowd going with "I Love Rock'n'Roll" mainly because Brian appeared at the side of the stage with his daughter to have a look. Eventually after a long wait the stage lights dimmed and a strange cranking sound started up and then you were suddenly aware of the drum beat to Flash thumping out and spotlights chasing around the stadium. This went on for a minute or so and the excitement was unbearable. All of a sudden in an explosion of smoke, lights, guitars, drums... Brian, John and Roger are there blasting out the opening part of The Hero. Seconds later in a gleaming white leather jacket out runs Freddie and it begins... A moment I will never forget along with many others from Queen shows since and before it. I can't say which show was my favourite as I loved them all but that moment WAS Queen, the sheer power, the anticipation, the fantastic musical ability and above all else the way they gave people what they crave more than anything... wonderful memories.” - whiteman

“29th May 1982 - a really nice warm day. We only lived a few miles away so walked down to Elland Road - I can't believe it - Queen live in my home town at the home of the greatest football team in the country (well maybe not now!). Got to the ground early and were allowed in by security, such a relaxed atmosphere. Saw band's soundcheck - great! So hot sun, never went behind stadium roofs. Got best suntan I have ever had! Heard Teardrop Explodes - not bad. Then you are aware of the beat of flash thumping out around the stadium, the smoke rises and bang - they are on! The greatest gig I have ever seen from the greatest live band in history. God bless you, Brian, Roger and John. Rest in peace, Freddie - we will never forget.” - Michael Quine

“This was my second ever gig, the first being Rory Gallagher the year before (I am sure I once read that Rory was one of Brian May's favourite guitarists). Anyway, being only 14 and not yet in the habit of getting off my face at gigs,I can remember that day very clearly. I am convinced I saw someone throw a hamburger at Julian Cope (Teardrop Explodes were going down like a lead balloon), and just as Julian was opening his gob to sing, he CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH. A huge cheer went up, then they stomped off. Somebody, possibly Queen's manager, came on and told everbody to behave. I also remember a fan getting on stage and Freddie expertly rolling him off the stage. I didnt like the Hot Space album much but was chuffed they were still a hard rock band. I bought the next edition of Kerrang mag and the write up of the gig said STUNNING. Great memory.” - Edwin

“I was 15 years old in 1982 when I attended my first ever concert. Fortunately for me, it was QUEEN's show at Leeds AFC ground in the North of England. I remember when my ticket arrived in the post, possibly 2-3 months before the concert, as was often the case in those days. I stuck my ticket on a cork notice board in my bedroom and could barely contain my excitement over the coming weeks. Every morning, I would wake up and look at the yellow ticket, wishing the days away. I imagined everything that could go wrong would. Queen would cancel the gig, I would break my leg, the family pet would die on the morning of the concert and it would be too insensitive of me to go, the transport wouldn't turn up or would break down, there would be a pile up on the motorway, I'd lose my ticket en route, etc, etc. As it turned out, May 29th 1982 was a hot and sunny day, perfect weather for an outdoor gig. I was CRAZY about Queen and had been since the age of 9 but I really didn't know what to expect on that day. Myself and three friends took a coach organised by my Dad's company from Lancashire across the M62 motorway to Leeds. Our excitement began to really take a hold when we arrived at the football ground and we followed the droves of people towards the turnstiles. To me, this was something on a really big scale and I could already hear the hum of the crowd inside. Not really believing that we were actually about to witness a Queen concert, we found our seats on the West Stand, offering a great view of the stage. I remember marvelling at Queen's new lighting rig and the equipment that adorned the stage, shining in the afternoon sunshine. The ground was almost full at this point and the pitch was heaving with people. The atmosphere was relaxed as people bathed in the sunshine. I remember two guys climbing the fence from the stand and attempting to get a better spot by running into the crowd and losing themselves on the pitch. Their efforts were in vain however as they were quickly located and ejected back into the stand by two security guards. We bought some black Hot Space tour shirts (I wore mine with pride until it literally fell apart) and a programme from a vendor inside the ground and waited for the first band to take the stage. A guy near us shouted and punched his way through Heart's set and then left just as they vacated the stage. Obviously not a Queen fan! The Teardrop Explodes suffered at the hands of the Queen congregation and found themselves battling against a shower of bottles and assorted missiles. Other than that, I don't really remember much about the support bands. I think that Bow Wow Wow were billed to play (an odd choice) but I can't recall if they actually turned up. No matter, we were about to witness what is still one of the best gigs I have ever attended.

As the dusk descended upon us, the giant floodlights were extinguished one by one and the memory of the roar that followed still sends shivers down my spine. Dry ice drifted across the heads of the crowd on the pitch as the intro tape of Flash thumped out of the PA and the strange 'grating' noises added to the recording created a foreboding atmosphere. Two of our party were on the pitch and to this day remember their chests thumping in unison to the powerful rhythm. A sea of hands clapped in perfect time to the beat. To me, this was already an amazing experience. And then the big moment. Freddie, resplendent in dazzling white made his entrance to The Hero and the blaze of the lights. An apt number to start with. Before he had even sung a note, the audience were locked tightly in the palm of his hand. Such an entrance, such a showman. "You're a F***in amazing crowd", he exclaimed after the first rush. The beginning of the gig is, in truth, my strongest memory of the show itself. In particular, the "Flash!!!" vocals cutting through the night air with so much volume. I recall being shocked at the sheer power of Queen's performance and the clarity of the huge sound they harnessed. Morgan Fisher's keyboards during 'Action This Day' sounded bright and hypnotic. Freddie's intro to Fat Bottomed Girls caused quite a response too; "the bigger the t*t the better it is!". I also remember the follow spots darting wildly over the crowd during 'Tie Your Mother Down' and everybody going crazy. Oddly enough (and this is something I still swear by to this day), I was in a Maths lesson at school the following Monday and I swear I had a flashback of this and could actually 'hear' the music being re-played in my head. It was a weird moment and life was never quite the same again. We talked endlessly about our experience for months to come and one of my biggest regrets is not jumping on a train to attend the filmed Milton Keynes show a week later. Having been to so many gigs since, I can honestly say that there is nobody who has been able to top Queen live; I was lucky enough to see the band five times between 1982 and 1986, including Wembley Stadium and their last show at Knebworth. I think that my personal favourite was their performance at the NEC in Birmingham on 'The Works' tour in 1984. People were literally stood there with open mouths, unable to believe how good they were. Leeds is definitely up there too. I recall Brian May stating that he thought it was one of their best performances ever. I can't argue with that Mr May. I've often wondered if an audience shot cine film or even just photographs exist from the Leeds gig. It would be a dream come true to see my memories come to life again.” - Keith Lambert

“I can't believe it was 30 years ago that I attended my first ever gig at Elland Rd Leeds in 1982. I was 17 years old at the time, I was into Queen when I first heard seven seas of rhye, which was so different to all the other stuff around at the time. I'd heard them live on tv, and had Live Killers. Also I used to buy bootleg cassettes of all of their tours from 74 onwards. But nothing could prepare me for that day. They should have played this gig at Old Trafford Manchester, my home town, so I was gutted when the residents opposed it. Tickets were very easy to come by, believe it or not, cos Queen were not seen as a relevant band at that time. Also touring the Hot Space album didn't seem to excite anybody. So, Billy no mates had to go on his own, haha. My memory is a bit hazy, but I will try my best. I got to the ground about 1pm, and was lucky enough to have a pitch ticket. I got right to the front, well about 10 yards from the stage, slightly off centre and to the right. If I told you I never moved from that spot all day and never spoke to anyone, would you believe me? One of the reasons for this is the rivalry between Manchester and Leeds, also I was only a kid, haha. Not sure who was first on, probably Teardrop Explodes, Julian Cope, I remember while they were throwing bottles at him, picked one up and started hitting himself with it and stretching his arms out saying he was an Argentinian bomber or something. It was during the Falklands war, remember. Then Heart came on, not really my cup of tea, and I had a lie down on the tarpaulin and tried to go to sleep. Then Joan Jett, who was better than the rest, but not really exciting. During the band changes, I remember the roadies polishing Roger's drum kit and climbing up ropes and those threepronged lights, which before I saw them move I thought they were cameras. Queen took ages to come on. From my recollection and I might be wrong, they didn't come on until 10pm and went off around Midnight. I heard later that they got fined so much per minute for being late on stage but they wanted to wait until it was dark for the lighting rig to take effect. If you watch the Bowl DVD you will notice it was light when they came on stage there. But that was being filmed by Channel 4. But it was absolutely pitch black when they came on stage at Leeds. Then the floodlights went off, smoke started to appear and strange noises started, which I can't describe, sorry. Then Flash's Theme started, it was loud, very, very loud. I knew they were supposed to be loud and this was the part that scared me. The ground was thumping, the bass just pumping away. The these 'cameras' flicked into life, with men on them. The intro seemed to last for a very long time. Then BANG Brian appears with the first chord of The Hero and a flash of the biggest white light I've ever seen and will never forget and the absolute loudest noise I have ever heard just hit me. The intro was quite in comparrision to this. When I play Live at the Bowl, I tend to repeat the intro and The Hero, virtually every time, because it was definitely a life changing experience for me at that moment, just incredible. Then Freddie appeared in brilliant white again, I was that close, I swear His hair seemed blue because of the mass of white lights. His voice, so loud, so clear, honestly, I can't describe that moment properly. I heard Freddie swear, saw Roger spitting, quite a lot, over his drum kit and onto the stage, I was bewildered.

When they did Play The Game and also Somebody To Love, when Freddie was doing the intros for them and it will sound strange to those that weren't there, but I didn't know what the songs were. I thought they was new unreleased songs. The reason was they was so loud, It kind of deafened you and then kind of sunk in what they were about to play. Then the rest of the gig flew by and I was singing my head off. Everyone was, but you could only hear Queen. Again my memory may be wrong, but I read afterwards that Queen had paid for residents to move out of their homes for the day. These houses were monitored and they said that the sound was like Concorde flying 10 feet over your head... Yep I will buy that. For all that and for all the bad things said about it, The Works tour, which I went to all the 4 origional England gigs they had planned, was the best tour they ever did. The set list was fantastic and the lighting rig was incredible. Not as loud, I also add. I also saw them in Manchester, 86. They had to be off stage by 10pm and noise levels had to be adhered to. I was too far awy to see them and the screens didn't come on because it was too light. Also I couldn't here them properly. I've watched the mMagic Tour gigs on DVD etc, but for me, that was the poorest tour they ever did. So that's it, hopefully some of you can confirm my bad memory, or say I'm wrong. Hopefully not bored you all. But it was the greatest musical experience I ever witnessed and I am proud I was there.” - Paul Wakefield

Part-1

(x)

#queen #queen band #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #queen concerts

[iamacolor]

hii king's affection anon again! I'm all caught up with the show (well except ep 14 😭) and I'm absolutely loving it sm!! dami is one of my favourite leads I've encountered so far. she's just soooo good?? the way we have a female lead who's strong AND vulnerable? literally the most amazing thing everr. also also park eunbin is just SUCH an amazing actress. you can see everything she's feeling and it's crazy (saw her first in do you like brahms and I absolutely love that show, she was flawless there as well)

and about jiwoon, I'll be honest I put of watching this drama firstly bcs it was a historical but also bcs I wasn't the biggest fan of rowoon 😭 especially after the disaster sunbae dont put on the lipstick was shcj but he definitely won me over this time!! he has improved soo much acting wise and his character is a great great love interest for dami.

also I enjoyed the little thing with the late King and gaon sooo much. like ik the king wasn't the best person ever but for him to remember gaon/eunseo and help him out was actually vv sweet

anyways im sorry if this was unnecessary

hi anon!!!! there is absolutely no need to apologise omg i was wondering if you had caught up with the show yet and hoping you'd send your thoughts!! i love reading other people's thoughts (one of the main reason why i make edits is so i can read people's tags lol) and talking about mine (this ask is about to get long) so there is no unnecessary ask don't worry 💜

i'm with you when it comes to dami, i think she's on of my fave leads so far if only because her set-up is so unique and tragic and it really puts her in such an interesting position, one that female characters usually don't get to be in and it's so interesting. i'm glad we got to see her as a child and then as an adult so we could see how she had become cold and had closed herself off to protect her lie and at the same time see how she had grown into the position of crown prince and was able to be commanding and smart and to genuinely care for her people and for her position. i love that she never feels like she doesn't deserve to be crown prince or king or to have power, she knows she can since she's be trained and educated for it and she's so good. but she has such hidden depths, so many things she's never fully experieced because she's never lived as herself (she's honestly such a tragic character) and at the same time she is fully the king now. i hope she gets to find who she really wants to be though and live as she wants one day, without having to look over her shoulder all the time and not being able to trust even her physician. i'm so glad she's not alone anymore (of course she always had a few people on her side with whom she has wonderful relationships) because she can truly show herself to jiwoon and rely on him.

and yes park eun bin is absolutely wonderful!! she's so commanding as hwi and yet so vulnerable all the time and you can always see that she never really releases the tension that her character carries and her eyes are so expressive. i had seen her before in do you like brahms and in age of youth s1 and so i was really curious to see her in this and she has such an impressive range, it's a pleasure to watch her performance honestly and to see how she's making choices to portray this woman passing as the most powerful man of her country.

sldkjfdkh i have not seen sunbae don't put on that lipstick but some of my mutuals watched it and from what i heard i'm not surprised it put you off lmao it seemed to be a very lacking show generally. i have only seen rowoon in extraordinary you before where i thought he did very well (clearly he was the perfect haru) so i was curious to see more of his acting in another tragic romance with impossible odds lol - with extraodinary you because of the genre of the show and the setting of his character he really didn't get to explore as much as he does in the king's affection - his interactions were reduced to very few characters and he also didn't even talk at first lol. so i'm really impressed with his acting here especially because his character is kind of a tricky one since he's put into such conflicting situations but he shines in comedic scenes and in emotional ones as well, it's really nice to see

and yes!! i'm glad we got a scene between gaon and the late king - showing once again that the king was looking back on some of the choices he'd made or things he'd let happen and the regrets he has but also allowing gaon to show more of himself and now i'm really curious about what he's going to do since killing the king was his main goal for so long

#the king's affection #anonymous #i've got mail

[indimlights]

✨Merry christmas Cille✨

To: @birthdaysentiment 💛

-> From: @indimlights (Rodrigo)

Hi Cille! I guess it's up to me to kick off this "little" surprise but I don't even know where to start...

I remember really well the first time I saw a post of yours, I was still lurking back then and the moment I read it I felt so many things, things I don't know how to describe and that I never thought words could make me feel and I knew, I just knew that I had to see more. Fast-forward a couple of hours I knew your blog by heart, I had looked at so many of your posts and every single one was as amazing as the first one, as touching as the first one and as deep as the first one.

The meaning you put on words still gets to me every single day, you have such a way into them and don't even get me started on your music analysis. The moment I read the first one I was mind-blown! The things you catch, the connections you make between the music and the scene, the way you describe the scenes, it makes me go back, relive the moment and feel everything I felt the first time I watched it and all this just by... reading your words! If that doesn't tell me how amazing you are with them I don't know what will.

From that day I always wished I could talk to you, get to know the person behind the words, behind the masterpieces, behind the blog because you seemed like such a sweet person and now... After some time, I got that chance and I'm so happy I got it. You are everything I thought you would be and 1000x more, you are sweet, caring, smart, loving, wise, joyful and so supportive to me and to everyone in this community! You always spread love and that's so important and so nice of you to do, the way you write essays in the tags for everyone's posts just shows that! It's such a simple thing but means so much.

And I'm not even mentioning how talented you are with non-written posts because those are on another level aswell, I mean you always surprise me with your ideas and creativity and just knowing that whenever I come here I will have some sort of attack waiting for me just keeps me going and I love everything you do so much.

I'll never be able to thank you enough for being so welcoming when I barely knew anyone and for making me feel so much more comfortable here! Getting to know you better and to share this experience with someone like you has been a blessing and I wouldn't change any second of it, thank you for everything you have done and for always being so sweet to me. I don't understand what I did to deserve all that but that just shows again how wonderful you are.

I'm wishing you a merry christmas! Surrounded by everyone you love and that makes you happy because you deserve that and so much more, please never change, never stop being like this, a special and wonderful person. I hope you enjoy this surprise :) Have a wonderful day Cille 💛

--------------------------------------------------

-> From: @remy3010 (Remy)

Hihi Cille❤ I love your blog so much especially music analysis! I just fall in love with your music analysis since your first posts.

For me whose mother tongue is not English, it takes a while to read but I'd love to. Because these articles deserve more people to see (including me)！

I have read every article of yours, the content touches me all the time. (Sometimes I have a lot of words want to tell you, But I don’t know how to speak in English..sorry🥺so I give❤ and reblog)

Anyway, thank you for writing beautiful words and sharing with us! I hope you can keep this passion forever, and everything go well. May you have wonderful days my friend ❤

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-> From: @franboos (Francine)

hi bb cille,

wanted to tell u that i love u blog and the time u put into analyzing stuff is shhshdhdhdhd. queen shit. u seen so genuine to talk to idk, i get those nice, non judgmental, relaxed and cool vibes from u. lmao. pls stay on tumblr for as long as u can cuz i love ur posts. u notice such little things in clips from wtfock, like u have a very detailed eye miss hehe. i really want to get to know u more cuz i really think we could vibe v well together, and that’s on perioood 😌. i hope u have a great great day while reading this queen. never stop what you’re doing cuz ur great at it. i love you !!

many kusjes and knuffels*,

fran

(*knuffels means hugs but also stuffed animal in dutch, did u know that? otherwise now u do, nice isn’t it)

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-> From: @dagcutie (Pauline)

hey hey cille!!

I must admit i’m very much a fan of you and your blog

first of all, your posts? chefs kiss!! i mean your music analysis are amazing and so on point, your photo edits are always perfect and the colorings are so beautiful, your long text posts 'drabble/headcanon style' are so cute and always makes me so soft and emotional...

your love for black and white? that’s a big yes!! anyways everything you do is perfect!!

also can we take a moment to appreciate your person? i think we can and we must do it..

you’re always so supportive and kind, all the nice tags you let under peoples creations are so sweet!! I also could cry about how cute you are always leaving lovely messages to people inbox or coming randomly to them to say something nice.. you’re the most beautiful soul and a blessing for this fandom!! please never stop being you!! ily a lot, sending you all my love and i wish you an amazing day<3

knus og kys til dig💛✨

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-> From: @allee-sander (Tanya)

Cille, you are an amazing person. you are so kind and loving. every time i see you on my dash, my face lights up. you are a literal angel. you are loved and appreciated, never forget that.

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-> From: @tsjernobyl (Emma)

Cille, you are a genuinely kind and loving soul who's just on this site to talk about the things you love and spread a little joy and everyone can tell that the moment they go onto your blog. i've seen you be nothing but lovely to everyone you interact with and it's a real honor to be mutuals with you and interact from time to time. You are always one of the sweetest and most supportive people here, and i hope you feel that love flowing back to you at all times because you always have my warmest wishes and love!!!!!

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-> From: @dreamaur (Ann)

How does it feel to be so cool and sweet and supportive??? I love you and your mind and how you see so many details and capture them so well with words,,,queen keep going with your top tier analysis and text posts that make me emotional everything single time

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-> From: @annonymannonym (Alice)

Where do I even begin ummm ... well words may not be enough to describe such angelic human being that Cille is but today is about her *about you Cille* !♡! Honestly I’m so so happy and honoured and so grateful to have meet and know you and come along your blog and your amazing posts and edits , let’s s not forget about the masterpiece that your analysis is cuz I live for every single one of them ! Always so on point and touchy and so so emotionally, they give you a whole new perspective and point of view and helps you connect with the person that goes throught those feelings , helping you understand so much deeper the feelings and the emotions he experience in that right moment( so thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking your time and writing these it really shows how much passion and love you put on making these! they absolute helped me to understand and feel much more the meaning behind all these little moments you captured so so well and wonderful ! ) You’re always such a blessing here so lovely friendly so goodhearted and sooo on ... < insert here all the good compliments in the world > cuz they all applies to you ! Know that you’re so special and such a light a sunshine wherever you are and go , you always spread so much positivity and good energy and love and compassion and you support every single people your way comes along with and you shown so much respect and love and understanding ! Always with a wise and thoughtful mind and with the right words at you using them with so much care and mining fullness ! And your blog i love love love it the b&w aesthetic and your love for it owns my heart !! I adore your posts so much ( or ramblings or thoughts as you may call them but know they are so so much more than that its a way of yours to express yourself and open up and pour every feeling you experience and many people found themselves and feel with you , I find myself in them and resonate with them every time ! ahh and your tags that you write in every post are sooo sweet and cute i could read them all day long just coming on your blog and read them makes my day so much better ) they are such a good way to brighten your day and they put a smile on my face whenever i see you on my dash truly a blessing to have you here! Never forget how unique and special human being you are and every one who has you in their lives are very blessed to have you ! Never change being this beautiful inside and out but most importantly inside ! literally a tresure your soul is and must be protected at all cost so take very good care of it ! Don’t forget to always do what makes you happy and gives joy and peace and just you know that good feeling you have in your chest and heart whenever you do something you love and like with passion and joy. I could say so much more but maybe I’ll repeat myself cuz there are never enough compliments to say about how wonderful person you are! you deserve every single one of them ! I really meant every word i said from the bottom of my heart and know that i really apreciate and love all you do and I’ll be here to support you anytime! You deserve the absolute world and more!! love you Cille! ♡ Okey bye✿

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-> From: @robbesdriesen (Bianca)

Cille ~ such a lovely presence to see on my dash always!! Your support towards everyone in the fandom is more than appreciated and so is your love that you continuously aim to spread <3

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-> From: @happilyinsane (Dharaa)

Hey Cille 💕

Just wanted to say that I think you are really sweet and lovely. I see you everywhere on the tumblr. Wanna thank you for keeping this fandom alive during the drought and keep us entertained. I see your tags on people's posts and I always feel like you are so kind and sweet to spend your time appreciating people's work. Doesn't matter if its a photo or an edit or whatever. You are so nice to pay attention to everyone individually. You are such a good friend/mutual, always appreciating and sliding into their asks and just making their day a lil bit better. You definitely bring so many smiles on our faces. I am sure everyone is very thankful to have you in this fandom, I know I am.

I know we haven't interacted that much but thank you for sliding into my asks and giving me an opportunity to interact with you. You are the sweetest, baby. And I hope you like this whole thing that Rodrigo is doing, because you definitely deserve it. Keep lighting up our dashes with your posts, pls. Ilysm 💕

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-> From: @alwaysaneverland (Sarah)

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-> From: @theflowerisblue (Lola)

Cille! You’re such a present part of the tag! You’re always interacting and posting and I love reading what you have to say. Your music analysis are so interesting and I also think you’re really funny! I love your black and white aesthetic and most of all I love how supportive and positive you’re towards everyone!

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-> From: @fvae (Fae)

hi cille!! I'm really glad to have met you through this fandom and I hope you like the surprise!! I loved to read your song analysis because they're always on point and well thought of👌 💯  and your edits!! *chef's kiss*

sending you lots of love and hugs 💕💖💫

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-> From: @embeddedinmybrain (Tasfia)

Hi Cille! You are just a ray of sunshine!! And you are the sweetest and kindest person here. I loved following through with your wtfock music analysis posts bc everything you felt is exactly what I felt. They made me really emotional!! And of course I (and Sarah and Fae) appreciate your tags for moyo season so much. We wait for them and we read them to each other and we just love seeing your reactions to it. Your edits are incredibly amazing too and I love the colouring in them. You are just an amazing sweetheart and I’m so glad to know you 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕

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-> From: @veerledejaegers (Soph)

Cille, you are very friendly and sweet, always insightful and seem like an incredibly lovely person that i hope i can get to know better ❤️(also love the black and white aesthetic)

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-> From: @sanderxrobbee (Semri)

Cilleeeeeeeeeeee loml!!!! Merry Christmas to you! I genuinely wish you all the best and I hope you get to spend all the holidays in the best way possible! You’re such a blessing to this fandom because you’re talented in every single way, whether it’s your writing or your godly Photoshop skills, oh and let’s not forget your dedication because you’re there all the time to brighten our days and make us smile. I haven’t known you for long, but I truly love and appreciate all you do and I’m grateful that you always take the time to compliment everything and everyone. You have no idea how much it makes me smile when you say my gifs are good because I’ve yet to learn a lot, but you are seriously one of the biggest reasons I haven’t given up the second something got too complicated. Where am I going with this? No idea. Anyway, I adore the fuck out of you and I’m happy to take part in this “project” because you really deserve all the love in the world. Once again, happy holidays!

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-> From: @hopelessromanticvirgo (Elene)

Talking about you Cille is making me always so emotional but I will try my best not to burst out from love and emotions. You’re one of the sweetest person here and I will never get tired of saying that.

We haven’t talked that much directly but I don’t need that to know you’re one of the greatest person here, I just know that for sure. I’m also sure about it because I can see the way you treat people? Even speaking about your tags? Like you take the time out of your day to make sure everybody gets love and everybody gets attention. You make all of us smile and I adore your tags on my stories. You can’t even imagine how many times I have reread your posts about it, like I crave it, I’m in love with it, it makes me feel so happy and so loved and I’m certain that everybody else feels the same way too. You always know how to make everybody’s day better and how to make them feel special.

And please, don’t even get me started on your posts! Your song analysis. Like I know I’ve told you this thousands of times before but I don’t care, I’m saying it again! The way you pictured and described all those songs and scenes!!! Like wow! I’d always reread your posts about that one specific scene after rewatching the season countless of times. (And you also did so many scenes!! I’m in awe and I’m emo from just thinking about it)

Watching clips were different but reading them with lyrics were a whole other thing. I just felt so connected with the whole story and scenes when I’d ready your posts. And connect scenes with the music and it was the best thing ever. Sometimes I still go back and reread some of my favorite posts of yours. I never get tired of it.

And you’re so kind and so sweet that I could write essays about it! Such a blessing to this world! I just love you a lot okay? Everybody needs somebody like you, somebody who shines from kindness and love and people around you must be so lucky who get to meet you everyday and talk to you!

Thank you so much for everything you do, for being you and for making my day better and making me smile every time you reblog my posts or every time I just see your username on my dashboard! It’s such a small gesture but means so much!

Thank you for existing, babe! I hope you’re gonna have a wonderful day! And I’m sending you the biggest hug and my positive vibes! I hope a smile never leaves your face! And I only wish the best things up onto you! I love you! ❤️❤️❤️

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-> From: @itubainaretro (Esther)

Cille, my queen!!! Hi, sweetheart! Just dropping by to say that I hope you’re having a good day, despite the situation that the world is in, and that you’re feeling happy, loved, cherished and warm today, because you’re you and you deserve to feel all the best feelings in the world! I wish you all the happiness in the world and that all your wishes come true too, because you sure deserve it! Thank you for being this amazing, inspiring, talented and sweet person that you are and that I’ve come to know a little bit in the past few months! I know we don’t exactly talk that much, but I want you to know that I love seeing you, your beautiful edits and your extremely heart warming “moments that live in my head rent free” posts on my dash daily! They all really make my days! Thank you for sharing your posts with us and making this fandom (and the world, honestly) a better place! You’re amazing and I’m really glad I pressed the follow button the day I did when I started following you! I hope this little message makes you smile today, babe! Best wishes and lots and lots of love,

Esther (itubainaretro) ♥️

PS: don’t forget to hydrate yourself, wear a mask and stay safe haha xxxx.

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-> From: @driesendotkom (Marie)

Dear cille,

the reason i‘m writing this is to simply say thank you. thank you for being such a stable part of the fandom. every time i go into the tag i know i will see you there and it makes me smile every time. i can’t tell you how many hours i spent reading every one of your song analysis. even now a year after season 3 ended i find myself going back to them now and then to reminisce and relive those moments all over again.

i also want to say thank you for being such a kind and welcoming person. you care so much about the people you are close to. you are so easy to talk to and you make the people around you feel comfortable instantly. you brought a little bit of hygge into my life and one more time i want to say thank you 💛

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-> From: @driesenrobbe (Becca)

my dear, sweet, cille! you never fail to make me smile and im beyond happy that we became mutuals! im sure i’ve already said this a million times before but you really do have the biggest heart and i couldn’t thank you enough for all the love and support you constantly share to everybody in the wtfock fandom. plus the talent you possess... girllllll i love seeing your edits and reading your posts (honestly your mind is just wowowowow, it’s on a whole other level of incredible and i hope you know just how wonderful you are). also the way you always write entire essays in the tags of other posts... like you really do take the time to make everyone feel so welcomed and loved, and I’m sending you an infinite amount of love and appreciation in return! you really are the sweetest, most caring person who deserves all the happiness in the world, an actual ray of sunshine! i hope you know how loved and cherished you are, and that good vibes are always being sent your way. Many hugs and kusjes, ilysm!!!! <3

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-> From: @mijnlief (Eline)

Dear Cille,

This year has been a weird one, but I do know that it has also been one of the best because of meeting you. In such a short time we became so close, and I am so grateful to have met you during these weird times. We are so alike in many ways and I love that so much. Our Skype conversations are my favorite and the essays you send me about my writing and just about me being me always make me feel happy and loved. You are the kindest and most generous person ever. I hope you know how special you are. I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved this year and for choosing yourself in situations where it got hard to make a choice in the first place. I know I tell you that everyday, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again right here. I hope this post makes you smile, because you deserve that so much for just being who you are. You bring happiness to all of my days and I can’t wait to hug you one day soon when everything in the world calms down again. I love you lots! 🧡 Eline

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-> From: @onzeziggy (Laurien)

My sweetest Cille, where do I even begin? I suggest we should just begin from the very beginning and I’m sorry in advance if this is going to be a long, sappy text! But now that I have the chance (shout out to Rodrigo) for saying everything I want, I’m not able to tell you how long this will take.

So Cille, I still remember very clearly the first time I saw your account appearing on my dash. It was a music analysis from one of the songs from season 3. I was so amazed by it, because I could imagine how much time it takes to make it and observe every little detail in a single clip. I immediately fell in love with the concept of it and one week later, when you posted another one, my mouth dropped to the floor. Another music analysis? From the same person? Who is she and how do I become her friend? After that second post, I immediately started following you and became your little fangirl. I don’t lie when I say I was waiting every week for a new update of your incredible music analysis nor when I say I loved every single one of them (and still do). I know I already said this a million times, but your words of telling what was going on in every clip, about the emotions present in them, and how the music blended all of it together… No one, and I mean no one could have done it any better! I will forever be grateful for those posts and I want to thank you once again for wanting to share them and your talent with us!

After the music analysis adventure, your picture edits catched my eye. I love them so so much and I also took some creation of it for making some myself. Still, I was this little fangirl, knowing your name is Cille, but also wanting to know so much more about the person behind one of my favorite blogs. And now, during this hiatus, I can say I’ve got to know you and I couldn’t be any happier about it! Starting with little comments in each other’s tags, having little chats in the comment sections to screaming about a possible drawing of Robbe from Sander on their one year anniversary. And look at us now, reblogging almost every post and writing essays in each other’s tags hahah! Honestly, it keeps me alive during these times and I’m so glad I can do this together with you! I live for your attacks! Aaaah now that I’m talking about an attack, the fact that you have a dimples post ready is making me so excited and I think about it every day! We both know what’s important in love and life and that’s Robbe’s dimples! But this right here shows once again what an amazing sweet person you are! No one on here has ever done anything like this for me before, so I can’t thank you enough for this and all the other things you did and still do for me! And the privilege I have to be able to call you my friend warms my heart <33

I’m going to end this with a little quote Robbe wrote in one of his Instagram posts. When I read it again a couple of days ago, I immediately thought of you and what we’ve been through together the last few weeks :’)) Once again, thank you so much for everything you do for me and for everyone here in this fandom and being the amazing person you are! You deserve the whole world for it!

“Sometimes it’s like we just met yesterday, but other days it seems like I already know you my whole life, I love you Cille!” <33

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I hope you enjoyed this💛 If you didn't know this community loved you yet (and I don't think that was possible), now you definetly do.

Extra: I'd like to thank once again everyone that took part it this surprise, you are all the sweetest for taking some time to write this and to help me with it! Thank you so so much✨

#Surprise! #Cille this is the least you deserve #but I'm so happy I got to do this #with the help of all this sweet people #I'm wishing you (and everyone) an amazing day! #and never forget that... #we all love you!