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terrifictoonman · 7 months

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Prompt: As a Barbarian, you hate that just because you have a different lifestyle, your party looks down on you and assumes you are incapable of basic intelligent thought. Today you had enough.

By: writing-prompt-s [Tumblr]

Paw-larity Insues

True North, an Adventuring Party based in Utoplion, was hired to assist a former town-turned-aspiring kingdom, Larthadrose, due to them having helped the new kingdom several times in the past. Their mission was to help protect the kingdom’s only delegate as they made their way to Utoplion for an assembly to decide the fate of their home. Upon arrival, the delegate requested the party’s werewolf barbarian, Huskveiler “Husk” Lunes, as their personal guard during her stay. While the rest of the party had their concerns, they had no real reason to deny their request.

Sir Conner, a old paladin, was at a local bar, enjoying a book and a small drink when Fynn, his party’s gnome alchemist, poked her head from behind the bar. When Conner noticed, he nearly drew his axe.

“Fynn! What are you doing here?” asked Conner.

“Bored,” replied Fynn. “Was gonna spice up some of these drinks, sit back, and watch the fireworks.” Conner grabbed Fynn’s head like a ball and pulled her over the counter.

“Where’s your sister?” asked Conner.

“Where else? Still, back at the shop glued to that magic tome, we found,” said Fynn as she climbed onto the seat next to Conner. “I know I’m the problem child and all, but that girl has a problem.” Fynn pulls a glowing vial from her pouch, pops the cork off, and drinks the whole thing in less than a second. Fynn then burps a small storm cloud, complete with thunder and lightning, and smiles as it floats away.

“Every day, you find new ways to shock and concern me,” said Conner.

“Mystery keeps the relationship fresh,” said Fynn. “Speaking of mystery. I didn’t take “Sir High and Mighty” to be a barfly. So, what’s your vice, old man?” Fynn reached for Conner’s glass, but the paladin managed to keep her away from it.

“My faith doesn’t forbid vices,” said Conner, “as long as I acknowledge and control them, I may drink as much as I wish.” Fynn burps again after finishing off Conner’s drink.

“Man! You call this a drink?” yelled Fynn. “I’ve had unicorn piss stronger than this!” Fynn slaps the table, getting the demonic bartender's attention. “Sir, two glasses of whatever can make a grown man cry on the rocks.” Fynn drops some gold coins on the counter. “And a shot of milk for my friend.”

With a low, gruff growl, the bartender begins to take bottles off the shelf and mix them. He poured a dark red drink into two glasses, sliding them over to Conner and Fynn. Along with a shot glass filled with white milk.

“So?” asked Fynn, “You think our little diplomat’s enjoying Husk’s services?”

“Not this again!” groaned Conner.

“Oh, come on, don’t tell me you don’t see it,” said Fynn. “She’s dainty and smart, he’s tough and dumb, and they’ve almost died together several times. A perfect match if there ever was one.”

“Lady Lorelei is on a critical diplomatic mission for her kingdom,” said Connor, “I doubt that holds much importance for her at the moment.” Fynn snickers at Conner’s use of words or lack thereof.

“Alright then, answer me this,” said Fynn as they finished off Conner’s drink, “why else would she ask Husk to be her personal guard?” Conner looked at Fynn, confused.

“For protection,” answered Conner, “there are plenty of people who could benefit from kidnapping the sole diplomat of a new kingdom in desperate need of aid.”

“But then why just Husk?” asked Fynn. “I mean, this is your home. You know this place like the back of your hand. Plus, you might have a more political sway, given your heritage. Or Dev, the former assassin for one of the largest bands of criminals in the nation. He can spot danger coming from miles away and can take care of it without making a sound.”

“Maybe it's for intimidation?” said Conner.

“Sure, that could work,” said Fynn, “if he didn’t work for the most upstanding adventure guild in the kingdom. Sure, the red fur, sharp teeth, and piercing yellow eyes would scar the shit out of most soldiers on the battlefield, but not in a room with the people who are essentially his bosses. I’d also like to reiterate that Dev is a well-known assassin.”

Conner struggles to think of a counter-argument while Fynn drinks his glass of milk, slamming it on the counter. “Think about it: she’s in a room with pompous old men who hold the future of her home in their hands. She’s spending the whole day bargaining without a leg to stand on, probably having to accept a bunch of bullshit terms that only really help Utoplion. That’s gotta be unbearably frustrating. So what better way to deal with that frustration than to let a war-torn, seven-foot-tall, built like an orc, and just as dumb wolfman destroy her?”

“Good lord would just- just stop!” begged Conner. In the brief silence, the two notice the bartender not so sneakily eavesdropping on their conversation. The bartender coughs as he quickly picks up a glass and cleans it. Fynn bursts out laughing.

“So,” said Fynn, “how does it feel to run an escort service?”

“That’s it!” said Conner as he stood from his chair. “I’m going to find Husk.”

“Gonna give her a two-for-one deal?” mocked Fynn.

“No! To prove your gutter drowned mind wrong!” said Conner as he sped toward the door. However, he was blocked by a wall of thick, damp red and white fur. Conner had walked into a werewolf wearing pants, what remained of a fancy shirt, and a vest.

“I thought I heard you guys in here,” said Husk before pulling Conner away from him. “Since when did you drink?” Conner spit out as much fur from his mouth as he could, with little success.

“Bartender,” said Fynn. “gonna need another glass of milk…” Lorelei, a young woman in fancy clothes, stepped from behind Husk and into the bar. “And a pillow if you would be so kind.”

“That is very considerate of you,” said Lorelei, taking a seat next to Fynn. “No offense to the royal family, but they should heavily invest in adding cushioned seating to their diplomacy hall.” Husk and Conner take seats at the bar, the former pushing his stool to its limits.

“So, why were you guys looking for me?” asked Husk.

“Well-” Fynn started.

“That’s not important right now!” Conner interrupted. “Lorelei, how are the negotiations going?”

“Ugh!” groaned Lorelei. Husk pats their back with his massive hand.

“Yeah, it’s been a tough few days,” said Husk.

“Tough? Tough does not begin to describe what I’ve been through,” said Lorelei. “Again, no offense to your kingdom, Sir Conner.” Conner uses his glass of milk like mouthwash, spitting it back into the glass with a few extra patches of fur.

“No offense taken, friend,” said Conner. “My grandfather was a delegate for the kingdom since he was young, and he always talked about how his best day was the day he retired.”

“Never have I missed my council more than this past week,” said Lorelei, “Thankfully, I’ have had Husk to keep me sane.” A devious grin stretched across Fynn’s face.

“How so?” asked Fynn.

“Above all else, he has been excellent company,” said Lorelei. “I would have gone mad my first night without him.”

“Go on,” said Fynn, prompting Conner to hit her in the arm.

“Uh, well, due to the more complex nature of your legal system,” said Lorelei, “I spent many late nights researching as much as possible. I often became frustrated, so I sought out Husk, who was more than happy to aid me. Due to the nature of his career, I suspected he would be able to keep up with me. However, his stamina easily dwarfed my own.”

“Hey, don’t you go underselling,” said Husk, “you pushed yourself hard every second of every minute of every hour!” With every word, Conner turned a brighter shade of red, and Fynn’s grin grew longer. “Let me tell you, this woman is non-stop! I mean, every chance she had, we were back at it. In the library, in her chamber, in the courtyard. Heck, if we thought the Wigheads were about to go on a ramble, we’d sneak out for a few.”

“Are you serious!” said Conner and Fynn in unison.

“And we were never caught,” said Lorelei as she high fived Husk.

“Sounds like you two had quite the adventure,” said Fynn, struggling to keep from laughing. Meanwhile, Conner buried his face in his hands from embarrassment, whispering a prayer.

“We really did,” said Husk, “I’ll be honest, I wasn’t excited at first, but after some prodding, I was surprised to find out how much I enjoyed it.”

“...what?” asked Fynn.

“It is not out of the ordinary,” said Lorelei. “For men like Husk, it can be difficult to take it all in. Most would have surrendered after the first few seconds, but Husk saw a challenge.”

“And I never back down from a challenge!” said Husk. “You guys should give it a try. Who knows, maybe I can show you guys something for a change.” Fynn quickly joined Conner in the “red face” club alongside the bartender as he handed them drinks.

“Are you both feeling well?” asked Lorelei. “You look flush?”

“I-I-I think we had a bit too much to drink,” stuttered Fynn. “Probably should be getting back anyway. It’s getting late.”

“Didn’t Conner only have milk?” asked Husk.

“Also, the sun has only just now set,” Lorelei continued.

“You know what the boss says,” said Fynn, “Early to rest, early to rise!” Fynn leaped down from their chair and dragged a still-praying Conner out the door with them. “See you tomorrow!” A few seconds after the two left, Husk and Lorelei looked at each other and exploded into a laughing fit.

“Did you see the looks on their faces?” asked Husk.

“I believed that they would have exploded if they had stayed,” said Lorelei. “What fools! No offense!”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Husk, “serves ‘em right for assuming, even more for forgetting that my hearing is better than theirs.”

“So when do you plan on telling them the truth?” asked Lorelei.

“...eventually,” said Husk as he sipped his drink.

“Do you know what “eventually” means in my home?” asked Lorelei. “Between “now” and “never,” I would prefer that you do the former.”

“I dunno,” said Husk, “I mean, I didn’t really do anything. I just noticed a few things, that’s all.”

“Yes,” said Lorelei, “ and those “few things” led to financial aid for construction and development, a sizable defensive force, and my people being put on the Golden Route. In case you forgot, that means direct trade with some of the most affluent kingdoms in the nation! You helped my home take that first step to becoming a true kingdom.”

“But what if it was just luck?” asked Husk, “what if I just end up embarrassing myself and my team by believing I’m something that I’m not.”

“You know what I believe?” asked Lorelei. “I believe that you are not the dumb barbarian everyone thinks you are. I believe that you have a natural affinity for researching not only the law but also whatever draws your interest. I believe you are not the most embarrassing member of your team, and even if you don’t believe in any of that now…” Lorelei places their hand on top of Husk’s as the the two look at each other. “I will believe in you until you can believe in yourself.”

The two smiles at each other until Lorelei notices something behind Husk and motions him to look. He turns around to see the bartender cleaning another cup, with bloodshot eyes and tear streaks down his face. He quickly wipes his face with the cleaning rag before racing into a backroom.

“You think that means the drinks are free?” asked Husk.

“Hope so,” said Lorelei before chugging her drink, “Because I have seven days of blah I need to wash down.”

---{A Few Hours Later}---

Lorelei and Husk walk out of the bar, stumbling into each other every couple of steps. As they walk back to the royal housing, Husk notices Lorelei looking at his back.

“Is there something on me?” asked Husk. “Blink twice if it has a weapon.”

“No, It is just…what are those straps for, on the back of your vest?” asked Lorelei. “It has been nagging at me for the longest time.” Husk grins as he turns his back to Lorelei.

“Grab on,” said Husk. Lorelei grips the straps. Husk jerks forward, pulling Lorelei onto his back as his human features morph until he becomes a giant wolf. Husk looks back at Lorelei with a smug look.

“Cooooooool!” said Lorelei. “How fast can you go?!” With a proud bark, Husk sprints forward. Reaching top speed in seconds, Lorelei grips the straps with everything they have. Husk jumped onto the roof of a small building, working his way up until he was leaping from rooftop to rooftop with Lorelei laughing on his back. It was at that point that Lorelei felt a raindrop hit her head. They pulled themself as close as they could to Husk’s ear. “It is going to rain!”

Husk’s eyes widen as he makes a hard turn towards royal housing. He tries to leap across a massive moat that separates the royal housing from the town but misjudges the jump slightly, sending him and Lorelei into the center of the river.

---{One Drenched Sprint Later}---

A soaking-wet Husk carrying a slightly less wet Lorelei charged through their chamber door. Lorelei jumps out of Husk's arms and quickly lights the fireplace along with every candle in their room. Husk runs into Lorelei’s bathroom and shakes himself dry before joining them at the fireplace. The two sit and let the fires warm them up a bit before Lorelei walks into their bathroom.

“What the Hell!” yelled Lorelei.

----------

Lorelei walks out of the bathroom wearing a robe while Husk, now semi-humanoid, continues to sit by the fire. Lorelei stands over Husk with their hand out. Husk takes their hand, thinking that they would help pull him up, but Lorelei slips from his grasp, dropping Husk on his butt.

“Coin bag. Now,” ordered Lorelei. Husk hands over a small damp cloth bag. Lorelei pulled out a few silver and a couple of gold in spite of Husk’s pouting face and placed the coins on a nearby table. “Thank you for offering to pay the poor servant they send to clean up your nightmare.”

“My pleasure,” groaned Husk. Lorelei grabbed the blanket off of her bed and wrapped it around Husk before sitting down next to him. “For the record, this blanket’s on you.”

“Fair enough,” said Lorelei. The two sit in silence for a while, letting the fireplace's heat wrap around them like a second blanket. Lorelei leans closer into Husk. “I meant what I said you know. With your talent, you could become smarter than most scholars could ever dream of.”

“I know, and you’re right,” said Husk. “I just wish I never had to prove myself. If anyone else did what I did but messed up, society would have just assumed that they just didn’t learn enough, but my kind was bred, born, and raised as tools for war. To do anything else and fail just pushes the narrative forward that at the end of the day, all I am and all I’ll ever be is a mindless beast that can pretend to be human.”

“Husk,” said Lorelei, “you are just one person. Your actions should not carry such weight. All that should matter is that you are happy with your life, and no one else can control that but you.”

Lorelei feels Husk pull away from her. She turns to see the blanket shrink around him down to a quarter of his original size.

Husk now had wet almond skin with large patches of crimson-red fur on the sides of his face, chest, and arms. His ears had a tall point, like an elf, and his clothes, while they still fit, were looser. Lorelei closes the distance, leaning against Husk again.

“Thank you,” said Husk.

“It is the least I can do,” said Lorelei.

“So does that mean…?” asked Husk

“No, you can not have your coin back,” answered Lorelei.

“Ok, just checking,” said Husk.

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