#I'm so empty and broken

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

#my life completely sucks #I wish I was loveable #my dads been thinking out loud all day and he's depressed and angry cus of my mom #so I'm sponging it all up #I hate her so much I hope that bitch gets cheated on #I'm so lonely and broken I wish I wasn't in bed alone #I wish I wasn't a sex freak so I could be with someone I love #I wish I was pretty and not ugly and fat and gross #I wish I was enough #I'm hitting a real low point #I'm going to being 25 soon and it's scary #my life is completely empty I'm going to be 25 I'm running out of time #but I'm so fucking hopeless #it feels like there's no point in me being alive #I'm just a waste of space and a burden and thinking about living another 25 years alone makes me sick #I'm so empty and broken

[a1m05t-en0ugh]

Please

#depressing post #mentally exhausted #depressing quotes #heart been broke so many times #sad quotes #empty heart #empty inside #im not mentally stable #mentally unwell #mentalheathawareness #broken #i feel empty #mentally fucked #you broke my heart #empty thoughts #no thoughts head empty #this is depressing #empty mind #i'm sad #mentally drained #help help help #girl help #help #i hate school #i hate people #i hate my liiiiife #i hate me sometimes #i hate my body #i hate my mother #i hate my family

[dreamdirector]

Still thinking of you… how beautiful your soul is and I miss you still. Everyday. 💔

#sad #heartbreak #i miss you #i feel empty #i still love you #dead inside #lonely #broken heart #brokenheart #just wish my heart would stop #depressing thoughts #i miss you every second #i am empty #still in love #fuckeveryone #loneliness #i want to disappear #i'm so tired #soulmates

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

HELLO WIFI nightly thoughts anon again, first of all wish you to enjoy your vacation! Then I love reading so much about Marine and Arlecchino it was soo sweet ! I'd like to know more about Marine story if possible, you mentionned she can't see and has artificial skin, is she a puppet similar to Scaramouche and got broken or was she created blind ?

ohohoho you're encouraging meeeeeeee eheheheheheeheh :]

Marine is sort of like Scaramouche in that she's an artificial creation of an archon- she's specifically referred to as a "doll" at several points rather than a puppet

she's a creation of Focalors specifically to help guide Furina and keep her company (and on the right path), since Focalors knew that false godhood is a very long and lonely process, and thus Marine has a kind and motherly nature even if she doesn't completely understand it which often make young children and Melusine feel safe and protected around her. Focalors specifically made her without sight, since she wanted Marine to embody the phrase "justice is blind", and ever since then Marine has been looking after Furina and helping her and Neuvillette run Fontaine, which is why i said she's considered third in Fontaine's hierarchy

a few things about Marine's body specifically: -she has visible ball joints like a porcelain doll, and her skin has the texture of porcelain as well -the areas around her joints are decorated with wave-like engravings -the energy used to power her comes from Pneuma-Ousia reactions inside her body -her heart is made of the purest chunk of Condessence Crystal and is extremely important. if her heart is sufficiently damaged, Marine will shut down. it can be replaced, but crystals of such high purity and size are extremely hard to find -because of what she's made of, Marine's body can crack and limbs can break off, but those can be repaired -Marine can't see anything, not even light, and her lack of a need for sleep means she takes many nighttime walks -does not have a Vision, her affinity with Hydro is natural thanks to Focalors -her Arkhe is Ousia -she rarely opens her eyes since her irises and pupils are completely white and she thinks humans might find it frightening -she is waterproof and spends a lot of her limited free time underwater :]

Marine is the one who taught Furina how to fight (just in case!) and uses a rapier that's part of her parasol (the umbrella part is actually water that's being held in place). she was also fairly lonely due to Furina pushing her away and most of Fontaine's citizens finding her dependable but unnerving but has made more friends since Fontaine became more accepting and less formal over the years- she and Navia are close and Neuvillette is basically her best friend for life, while Wriothesley holds her in high regard because she occasionally does work for the Fortress. Marine's usually calm and gentle, but she's unafraid to become violent if anyone threatens her loved ones, and is very proficient at using her sword

and yes, Arlecchino knows. she's one of the only people who knows of Marine's nature, other than Furina and Neuvillette

(please ask me more about Arlecchino and Marine i go insane about them every day)

#genshin talk #genshin oc #wifi's ocs #focalors wanted her to embody 'justice is blind' so she could help judge furina without bias in the final trial #fun fact marine is mostly very calm and doesn't have any huge reactions to anything until after the prophecy is averted #because after that she's technically released from her duties and begins expressing herself more #notably she becomes more genuinely happy and more excited over everyday things #she also likes ballet and sometimes dances in the opera house when it's empty #furina pushes her away because she fears what will happen if marine finds out about her secret #but after the archon quests she's like 'MOM I'M SORRYYYY' #arlecchino finds out when marine trusts her enough to take her gloves off and show her #to arle it doesn't make her any less marine. she's very accepting of it and adores her either way #this does occasionally lead to marine coming into the room with her arm broken off and arlecchino just going 'not again' #auruhgrhghgh im love them #me and my friend were screaming about arlecchino today it was so fun #good evening

[poppies]

2023 was the worst year of my life. not sure what's to come or where to start but i know things have to change, i have to fix things somehow

#i haven't been very active online #last june i experienced something traumatic and i'm stuck in an environment in which i cannot heal #plus chronic pain has inhibited my life to a devastating degree #so all i've done these past months is sink further and further into a sadness and emptiness and pain i can't describe #it's scary to look in the mirror at somebody entirely unrecognizable. i feel hollow and devoid of any traits #i feel i've lost everything that made me 'myself' #lost my family. lost my health. lost myself. lost all the things i cared about once #i don't think i can ever return to the person i was before. so i have no option but to start anew #i need to stop being so terribly nostalgic for the things i can never get back #i can't keep clinging onto broken shards #honestly i know deep down that holding on to the hurt has never served me. and i doubt it ever will #but i'm scared to let go. scared of what will take its place. scared of what i'll find. #i don't think i can heal here #so i'm just enduring. but it's scary how time keeps passing. i've been so dissociated and none of this feels real #i feel so hopelessly lost and trapped and behind. i'm 23 now but it feels so wrong #✩

[bittersweetstargazer]

pov txt's album was so good you almost majorly injured yourself listening to it

#background. #cleaning up bc yesterday was easter and we had ppl come over and there are a lot of dishes that I have to clean #I was emptying out the dishwasher to make space #I needed to put a wine glass back in it's spot but said spot is in a high place that's taller than I can reach #so I needed to grab the step ladder #I was listening to the new album and having a great time #so good in fact that I didn't notice that he step ladder was damaged (which it wasn't the day before) #and so I open it up and it's like shaky and fighting me #which should have been my FIRST CLUE bc it doesn't rlly take a lot of effort to open #and it's open and I'm like okay then and I get to the top step (which is the one that's broken) #and I have the wine glass in my hand and I'm reaching up when I feel the step under me start to bend and buckle under my weight #because it was BROKEN. #I realize that is not how step ladders work and very carefully put the glass down on the counter first bc I didn't to break if I fell #and then I placed my hands on the counter and leaned forward so I was holding most of my weight on my arms #and then very carefully stepped down until I reached the floor #my heart was pounding bc I knew anything could have happened had I not noticed in time #and when I checked one of the screws holding the ladder in place had been unscrewed and at first glance #it seemed totally normal but only after inspecting it did I notice the loose screw #my dad said he'd check it out but ugh I still have so much stuff to clean up

[camellia-thea]

.

#tw vent #bad week. #running out of meds. can't get new ones til the fifteenth so i am off my antipsychotics and low on my antidepressants #which means that. literally anything will make me unable to function for the rest of the day #and it's not fair on anyone else because i get snappy and it's not their fault and i know it's not their fault and i'm not trying to snap #but i feel like can't modulate tone like this because i'm trying not to be upset about things i shouldn't be upset about #and it's nobody's fault but every single time it feels like the world is ending and i know it isn't which makes me feel worse #because what a stupid reaction #and i feel trapped in my own home because i literally cannot leave it #and it's like. i could fix this if my fucking body wasn't broken and i wish i didn't have to depend on people like this #and make them do stuff they don't want to do or make them go out of their way to do something for me when i want to be able to do it myself #normally i am more okay with this but. world ending time. everything just feels unbearable right now #my entire chest feels hollow and empty and it aches

[artxofartemis]

please tell me i'm not the only one has for headcanon that everytime kevin has a "egoistic" reaction about riko's probably reactions (for example his reaction on neil tattoo burned) he's not thinking about riko anger in general, but he's thinking about riko's fury because he know that riko will vent on jean, so in these moment he's afraid for jean

#aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #tfc #jean moreau #kevin day #kevjean #i'm a delulu #head empty only kevjean #i'm just a clown #i'm the entire circus actually #i know that the're too much broken between them but i LOVE THEM AND I'M A CLOWN #nora please make them proprely friends they deserve it #if you make them lovers i would be the happiest person alive #i live for kevjerejean so bad you have no idea #but i'm satify with friendship too i swear #aftg kevin #aftg jean

[tepli-mravenci]

Managing my own time is so fun

Watch Hazbin Hotel > go to work > aquire workplace injury that almost makes me faint > rewatch Hazbin Hotel

#i broke my nail is what happened #its not even...long it just broke in half but obv since it's short the half was on the finger so it started bleeding #and it took me along time to notice cause i was really stressed about finishing my work on time #and I unnowingly bled on the broom and an empty bag of corn #and then i noticed it and i cope really badly with nail injuries in particular I cant stand to even look at someone else's broken nail #so i was pretty much running on pure anxiety the last 20 minutes of work #and then I had like 3 separate phone calls #anyway I've watched Hazbin twice at this point #well the 6 episodes that are out anyway #random #hah #if anyone's worried about me the the nail is fine it bled a little it was really okay I'm just a crybaby about nail injuries #like things stuck under nails or nails broken in half and shit it makes me lightheaded

[a1m05t-en0ugh]

I overthink certain situation and other times I just sit there and couldn’t give less of a fuck about what happens to me

#depressing post #mentally exhausted #depressing quotes #heart been broke so many times #sad quotes #empty heart #empty inside #im not mentally stable #mentally unwell #mentalheathawareness #broken #i feel empty #mentally fucked #you broke my heart #empty thoughts #no thoughts head empty #this is depressing #empty mind #i'm sad #mentally drained #bpd life #i hate him #i hate men #i hate it here #i hate calories #i hate my body #i have a problem #i hate being sick #i hate my brain #i hate my liiiiife

[dreamdirector]

Missing you, everyday still.

Its not any easier like you said it would be💔

#sad #heartbreak #i miss you #i feel empty #i still love you #dead inside #lonely #broken heart #brokenheart #just wish my heart would stop #depressing thoughts #i miss you every second #i am empty #still in love #fuckeveryone #loneliness #i want to disappear #i'm so tired #soulmates

[seulgikisser]

anyone who says that materialistic things don't bring you happiness LIES

#after uni i went downtown to actually find my mom a present for mother's day #which i did! #but i also made this insane thrift find (which i never do i suck at thrifting kinda) #like the perfect grandma cardigan with little flower stitching and everything #and then i wanted to replace my broken snoopy mug if anyone remembers that #but unfortunately it wasn't available anymore :( #BUT THEN #i found the prettiest mug ever handmade with little strawberries on it 🍓 #and now i'm the happiest person on earth #oh and the summer dresses didn't fit me nicely unfortunately but i also found a super cute one in person today !!!!! #like my luck today is insane !!!!! #the universe loves me today #next stop today is the next flower shop bc i couldn't find an orchid for my empty pot that wasn't robbing me senseless #determined to find one under 10 bucks 😈 #thank u for reading i don't think i've ever wrote tags this long on this blog wowie #but yeah my day has been successful so far ! #000

[townofcrosshollow]

Idk man if you're constantly talking about your crushing loneliness and feelings of being ostracised and left out when you ostensibly have a bunch of friends around you then maybe the feelings of loneliness aren't the problem there

#i would always feel really empty and distant and 'act out' after our hangouts #and i always framed it as like 'i get the high when i'm around people and then i crash afterwards' #and didn't really consider that maybe sitting in a vc for 4 hours feeling left out while other people have fun is just soul sucking #it was always framed as my behaviour that was the problem. 'you did this and you did that.' so i just kinda internalized that #if i felt like shit it must be my fault. everybody knows i'm the one who causes problems so i'm just causing more problems #if i say that something made me uncomfortable and the response is 'i wont make accomodations and how dare you even ask' it must be my fault #idk. we filled out consent forms in the game i'm really not excited to play and i was reminded that nobody ever asked my consebt #and when i tried to advocate for myself and voice that i wasn't consenting it was treated like i was causing problems by trying to say that #and i saw that as a reasonable reaction at the time cause i had been so deeply convinced that i was broken and horrible #that if i was trying to revoke my consent or even just negotiate it then i was ruining everything for everybody else #that if i was uncomfortable with what was going on i needed to just shut up and live with it #i wish i had realized that and dropped out months ago. maybe that could have preserved some semblance of my relationships with those people #far too late for that now. i'm trying to accept that #and all that effort was wasted anyway #i tried to say once that i was putting in a massive amount of effort and i felt like nobody was recognizing that fact #and i still kind of feel that way #i put hours of mental energy into trying to be enough for people who kept demanding more from me and kept giving me less in return #did that do me any good or did it just cause me 3 months of grief and an empty bank account from therapy? #the problem is that i still wish things had turned out better even though i know i had no control over that #if i had kept advocating for myself it just would have been over far faster. i guess that might have spared me a bit of money #if i tried to talk about the problems it would have just been dismissed with some quick quippy therapy phrase amounting to 'not my fault' #we're already living in the universe where i put all my effort into changing in the ways i was told to change and look how well that went #idk. the attitude was never 'let's fix the problems.' it was always 'you need to fix it.' and then when i did it was #'now there's a new problem. fix that one too. and this one. and that one.' #and to do all that work for somebody and then be told they thought you never even cared about them. man it just stings #idk. it's in the past now. but i can't build new relationships. i'm trying and it's impossible #i try meeting new people and they all suck. i try strengthening relationships with old people and they all get too busy or leave. #the only reason i post these things on tumblr is cause i don't have anybody else to talk to about it #the only person i could talk to has their own shit going on. there really just isn't anybody else #personal

[dazedabby]

Definitely feeling that finished game emptiness.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #Bg3 #Finished as Shadowheart #Sobbed as I said goodbye to Lae'zel as she left with Orpheus #Now my heart is empty #It was riddled with bugs #For whatever reason my install was broken so environments were slow to load #And while I think there was a few spots lacking that needed more polish #I'm still blown away by the dedication from Larian #What a fucking amazing game #Might take a breather before I plunge in again

[doggirlnarcolepsy]

.

#feel like I'm drowning #just so tired and empty #being in a relationship for so long only to realize they're having a hard time having romantic feelings for you after so many missteps #and now it being out in the open and I'm just panicking trying to mend what's essentially years of mistakes and baggage #i know I made a lot of mistakes and honestly she should've probably left me a while ago because of how unstable I am #I just feel so fucking stupid for not realizing what I had and having a hard time dealing with the fact that it was me being a shithead #and it was me not being affectionate enough for her to feel loved romantically and that just makes me feel so fucking broken #she's like a sister to me and I don't know what I'd do without her. I just don't know how much longer I can keep starving for affection #even though it's literally my fault that I am here in the first place... even if it was already the case before my latest episode #I certainly didn't make anything better.. #back to crying into my plushie and maladaptive daydreaming i guess

[the-busy-ghost]

What an awful curse to be a person who theoretically loves maximalism but hates seeing stuff that has been stored outside cupboards, hates dusting, is terrified of somehow decorating The Wrong Way and being laughed at, is extremely clumsy, and has no real motivation to purchase nicknacks

#I know we often talk about the opposite problem (chaotic maximalists) but I'd say with the exception of books I'm a reluctant minimalist #Oh the life I could have if I weren't an absolute mess and therefore react badly to having more than four objects in a room to take care of #I just look at other people's pictures of cluttered cosy rooms and sigh #I love it in other people's homes and spaces but the minute I try to be decorative in my own I shrink back like a snail #I will sit comfortably in my very boring white empty walls and perish for lack of imagination and colour #But it's stressful if there are small things to get broken or need dusted all the time #And I like clear spaces #My brother keeps coming in like 'Oh your house isn't so bad you could just decorate a bit more' #I want to #But I also believe that will spell disaster and possibly some stubbed toes #I see cool little ornaments and pictures and stuff and think 'Oh yeah maybe some other time though' #And end up living in what I would in any other case describe as bland white wall grey carpet hell #I have become the Man #I feel so horrid and vanilla and BORING #What is the POINT of being an annoying opinionated aggressively passionate about niche things little horror #If that doesn't at least translate einto some interesting decor #Turns out I'm a big old suburban coward #It's so sterile in here #Earth & Stone