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onewomancitadel · 1 year

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You know what, I only made one pithy post about this a year and a half or more ago so

I'll make a post breaking down my official position on that one H/bomberguy video criticising R/WBY:

Chiefly, I believe his style of narrative analysis (or lack thereof) is fundamentally broken. He doesn't really have any coherent drive except narrative literalism (and cynicism) and having forcibly sat through his videos he's never really been good at articulating why stories should work as they do, he just says so (and almost always in a way inappropriate to the story's setting). It's really effective for the platform he works on, because there's a false authority assigned to YouTubers and the positions they take on topics without due justification that a rando on Reddit or Tumblr couldn't get away with (particularly on fandom topics - where we're usually otherwise equal - what do you think of when you hear Alt Shift X? I think Alt Shift X can be pretty decent, but we know he has a certain credit in the A/SOIAF fandom that other fandom writers don't - and he always cites his sources and especially his Tumblr ones, so it's not something that the author can totally control). He just says that things don't make sense and I guess I have to believe him.

A corollary of what the platform engenders is that he's provocative. This can be effective for his political content but in my eyes he seems to enjoy dunking on other men more than actually substantially supporting a feminist cause, and I think his interest in criticising narrative comes from a similar dark place. I just don't buy his bullshit sorry. This is really more of a personal point but it's worth mentioning for my own bias against his criticism because I think he's an intellectual charlatan. I don't care how much money he donated to charity, I'm talking about his Internet personality (I don't know who he is as a person).

He claims in the R/WBY video that he's always respected Monty Oum (but character assassinates the writers) yet there are forum posts on SomethingAwful documenting his disgust for Monty and anime fans, and the fans who see themselves in Monty (who was self-made), implying that the enjoyment of R/WBY comes from a place self-insertion and wish fulfilment. I think it's important to establish that he could have changed his position on Monty in making the video, but he does specifically claim to always have had held an admiration and I think that's disingenuous at best. He clearly has a bone to pick with R/WBY and its ostensibly embarrassing and self-involved fanbase and it shows in his analysis. That's why he's interested in implying that the writers of the show are perverts sexually attracted to their female characters. Most damningly his classic move of pitting Monty and the writers against each other was pioneered by R/WBY fans who rejected the direction of the show after his passing and so grew the hatewatching fanbase which (similarly) gained traction on YouTube. To weaponise a glory of the auteur who had an untimely death in order to demonise a show you don't like is actually beyond pathetic.

I don't believe this was necessary to criticise R/WBY but this is why I feel he's ultimately disingenous in his analysis of R/WBY. I also think that if you believe a work to be a product of sexual perversion, you probably can't take the narrative all that seriously; it's two hours of thankless work, really. This is what I mean about lacking a sensible narrative lense, because he doesn't really have one. If the narrative is unserious, then you treat it unseriously; if you want to treat perversion seriously, then you don't beat-by-beat try to intuit magical fairytale worldbuilding according to your irresponsibly applied analysis. The tone of a work needs consideration.

The character assassination (because that's what it is) of the writers implicating them as sexual perverts, writing R/WBY from a place of sexual perversion, is enough for me to seriously question his intentions, particularly given the way he framed the information (with you to draw your own conclusions about, say, Miles saying Yang is the hot one, or dresses provocatively, when she is seventeen). I think it's seriously irresponsible to use supposed feminist ends to bolster your own poor argumentation and it's just too revealing of the frailty of his position and his overall channel aims. It's telling that he left out the fact that the writers have a definite position on sexist anime tropes, which is that of rejecting them, one example being they specifically eliminate any chance of your regular disgusting 'panty shot'. I don't know the writers myself, but I'm not trying to evaluate their personality, I'm trying to evaluate their work, which I feel successfully remixes regressive gender tropes in ways that work in the story and the 'male gaze' is largely absent. Let's not get into the Heroine's Journey. Nevertheless, precious little is eroticised in R/WBY (and even when it is, it tends to be subverted e.g. 'pervy uncle' Qrow who makes up his stories about women).

The paucity of this offense regarding R/WBY - something that is partly up to an individual to decide regarding the gender regression, or lack thereof - is quite telling about the rest of his argumentation. I couldn't tell you what H/bomberguy dislikes about R/WBY except that he thinks its fans are stupid and he doesn't like mythic storytelling or his favourite anime being referenced by the anime he doesn't like in a way he doesn't like either.

So if there's no cohesion to his analysis, how can I possibly address it? It seems that we simply have irreconcilable differences in approach to narrative. The fact that I've not seen his subsequent sequel (if he ever made it) about the rest of the show really limits the discussion too, since the first three volumes establish the foundation of the show (and to be honest my favourite volumes are V4-V8, which transform the setting).

I wrote this post out because I have mutuals who've never seen R/WBY but probably know H/bomberguy made a video on it, and for other R/WBY fans who wondered how I handled that criticism - since I am overall a relatively well-documented apologist for the show.

I get that H/bomberguy has a reputation as being a Lefty-ish YouTuber who was one of those who popularised the scathing, several-hour long critiques of popular media. I think that this is an embarrassing genre overall and done well by few, and is responsible for fandom discourse predicated upon ego, provocation, and clickbait; further, the length just implies an inability to convey an effective point overall, and makes it impossible to write a succinct rebuttal. I am thankfully saved by the fact H/bomberguy cannot narratively intuit his way out of a paperbag.

Finally, I think that those in Star Wars Prequel Trilogy glass houses shouldn't throw stones at geeky R/WBY fans. Unless you defend the PT from a monomythic perspective - which he does not do - I can't take your opinion on anything sincerely.

#I just felt like writing this out sorrey #I'm just a Tumblrina don't mind me #stirring the pot #truly

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wonderwomemes · 6 months

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I just decided that this year i'm giving myself am adventcalendar, and it's that every day i'm going to go and say yes to things and events and people and life and whenever the wintermorbs kick in i just kick back by texting people if they want to hang out

Tonight on the first day of december i'm going to a punk show with a friend. Don't know the bands, don't care. Just... enjoying myself

#i know myself well enough to know that if i don't go out at all in the evenings... i WILL get depressed #so yeah i'm purposefully entertaining myself for the next 24 day #i'll crash in the liminal space between christmas and new years #but until then i'm just going to yell yolo whenever i'm starting to hesitate #i'm posting this so the 7 people who will see it can call me out on it if i try to find excuses #at least in my mind i'll be like #no i can't stay home #i will loose respect from the tumblrinas #good luck to me

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unicornswilleatyourboobies · 4 months

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mako...transbian??????

#idk i'm drunk (the alcohol has definitely worn off by now)#idrk any lok enjoyers irl so i'm putting this on the internet idk #lok tumblrinas i love yall but don't kill me for this <333 #just walk with me:#whilst i respect wuka i'm not in wuka nation just cos i cannot see mako liking men #he'd probs be mildly homophobic whilst dealing with the psychological damage of his exes dating each other #and then i was like 'wait that's a really lesbian thing isn't it' and then yeah i'm here now #(i'm allowed to say that btw i used to be a lesbian <3)#(i'm bi + trans masc now btw but my dating life is more lesbian sterotype wise than anything else??)#wait edit i'm not done #like mako just represses shit enough that i think gender would've just never crossed their mind until seeing korrasami #and then they'd be like 'oh shit yeah being queer is a thing????' and realise soon after that #okay gonna try n acc sleep now

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satellite-blossom · 7 months

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Sick coloring and shading, dude ❢ Unfortunately I don't like how you draw Sonic the hedgehog so I'll have to blacklist your blog because I don't want to block you.

#If you see this then it's not aimed at you since like #I don't interact with those blogs at all I just try to remember their username and add them to my filters #Most of the stuff in my filtered list is just blogs that draw Mobians in ways that make me uncomfortable #Like not even in an objectively bad way #I mean it's not harmful or anything #I just have weird gut reactions due to having used Deviantart for way too long #(I was literally 12 when I joined DA)#I should probably never have joined this site or at least not that early. It wrecked me #But yeah my brain keeps recognizing patterns. Or just making patterns up #Sometimes there's really nothing to worry about but I feel like there's patterns so I'm grossed out #and all panicky and stuff #But I'd end up blocking like 35% of the fandom if I actually blocked people over artstyles I don't like #I know that I'm not rational about this so don't see it as a genuine criticism of the fandom here #I think most s/t/h Tumblrinas are extremely chill + talented + open-minded + not fucking creeps #Even more chill than the French side of the fandom on Google+#So like it's not an attack on the fandom or anything‚ I'm just mentally ill #Berry rambles

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theresnothinglikethis · 1 year

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i'm too much of a hopeless romantic to be in a casual relationship but i'm too touch starved to not jump into the arms of the first person that likes me

#HERE'S THE THING TUMBLRINAS...#this girl i was seeing #i've analyzed her behaviors and thoughts #and she avoids. EVERYTHING.#she ghosted me as soon as things got serious but silly girl forgets i follow her on social media #AND I CAN JUST FEEEEEL she's coming back soon #with valentine's coming up and all that...#and it's the same story repeating itself all over again...#she asks me for forgiveness i forgive her... get attached again... and then she leaves again #like it obviously makes me feel shitty as if i'm something dispensable #but then again... aita if i turn the narrative and just??? gain something from this??#is that self-destructive????#like at this point i've just given up on having my dream relationship #even if i'm young #VENTING HERE DON'T MIND ME

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

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Would I be the asshole for pretending to be younger?I 25gf (she he they) am possibly going to a fundraiser event for a local cat rescue later this month and I have a dilemma based on the wording on the notice/invitation for it. Please note that I'm not directly affiliated/work for this organization so they have no way of knowing my age without actually looking at my ID. With that in mind here's what my issue is. On the notice for the event they say the ticket for it will buy you one plate and 1-2 alcoholic drinks for ages 21 and up and one plate plus 1-2 mocktails (non-alcoholic cocktails) for anyone under 21 years old. The thing is I stopped drinking alcohol due to a previously undiagnosed liver condition almost a year ago and well obviously 25>21. I don't really want to have to divulge my medical information in order to justify asking for non alcoholic drinks only so I'm wondering if my best bet is to just claim to be 19 or so which is how old I've been told I look anyway so that I can just get a couple mocktails or fruit juices without any hassle. But I'm also wondering if it's like morally wrong or something to lie about my age even if the odds of me getting found out are pretty low. I'm honestly not sure if I could just ask for the underage drink option even though I am of age but the advert for the fundraiser seemed to imply I couldn't so my only other option is to bring an under 21 guest with me and take their drink(s) from them which would be kind of a dick move to said guest. One last point is that since I might want to adopt a cat or two from them in the not super distant future I might be shooting myself in the foot by claiming to be only 19 because they're really strict about only adopting out to folks who are at least 21. So needless to say if I do end up going after all I'm leaning towards just claiming to be younger than I am especially since it probably won't hurt anything and will allow me to preserve my health without giving personal details of it to strangers but I'm conflicted for a few reasons especially the last one. So tumblrinas WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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worstcharacterpoll · 1 year

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WELCOME TO THE WORST CHARACTER POLL

Hello tumblrinas. I have seen a lot of character polls where people vote for the characters they like the most out of a given bracket, or that they think best fits a category. However, I haven't seen a poll yet for the most hated motherfuckers out there, even though this website has dedicated tags for hating on specific fictional characters. So I thought it would be really funny if I hosted one.

The brackets are not currently set. I have a few characters in mind already, but not enough for a full bracket, and I want more varied opinions. So I am calling on you, dear Tumblr user reading this, to send me the characters you fucking despise and want to see fight other hateable characters to the death. The size of the bracket will depend on how many characters I get, although I doubt it'll be larger than 64.

General guidelines for submissions:

Fictional characters only.

Please give a short explanation as to why the character is hated. I don't know every media.

I don't really want to include characters that are heavily associated with real-life bigotry, to keep things light-hearted

Soft ban on characters whose main trait is that they're like a shitty parent or politician or something, because there are a lot of those and they're hateable pretty much by default. If I didn't do this I feel like at least half of the tournament would be Ozais and Bill Hawkses, which is kind of boring.

I'm less interested in characters who are like, well-written villains, or "love to hate," or designed to be hateable. I'm more looking for characters that piss you off because you don't like how they're written, or they're annoying, or they're supposed to be sympathetic but you hate them anyways.

These aren't particularly hard and fast "rules" (except for the first few); like, I already want to include Walter White which kind of violates the last rule. Exceptions can apply if it's funny enough, I think. But thats for me to decide >:)

Also, just to be clear, when voting, you should be voting for the character you hate more. Winning this poll will be the ultimate dishonor. Characters nominated will already be widely hated.

So... I hope for success in this endeavor! And please don't bring actual fandom discourse into my inbox

#sorry if this seems like overexplained. i am autistic.#polls #worst character poll

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shortpplfedup · 9 months

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Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 6

Another outstanding episode as chickens start coming home to roost and Sand sets a ball a-rollin' that is gonna roll right over him in the end. In a surprise upset, Sand's mom won the audience vote last week, with Top and Boston tied for second place. You really never know who the Tumblrinas are going to favour from week to week, keeps us all on our toes! Here are this week's highly scientific rankings.

🔺1. Ray (4)

Let me talk to my friends. It’s his birthday. I’d like to say something.

Ray said NO SURVIVORS and sprayed the entire room at Mew's birthday party, and honestly? Kinda deserved. From calling Sand a whore (OUCH) to reading Cheum for filth for her shitty little backhanded comments, to almost letting the cat out of the Top/Boston bag in front of everybody, our resident mess came for every neck in the building. Boston primed him, Sand aimed him and Cheum lit the match, and it's no coincidence those three got hit with the blowback of his explosion at Top. A seething ball of pain and resentment fueled by alcohol and god-knows-what-else was never gonna fire a clean shot.

🔺2. Sand (5)

Stop thinking about Mew and focus on me for once. Can’t you really see that I care about you?

Well now we know why Sand didn't blink an eye at Nick bugging Boston's car; he's just as fucking unhinged. Sand, a poor, breaking his own phone just to get his hands on Nick's and that recording (which, by the way, calling the file 'That Car' is really too much Nicholas PLEASE 🤣)...WILD. We've all had Nick pegged as the bunny boiler but Sand might be worse and I can't WAIT because I still believe in that baseball bat. But him begging Ray to give a single solitary shit about him even AFTER Ray calls him a whore in front of a bar full of people...I remain embarrassed on his behalf.

🔺3. Mew (6)

Cocky much? I don’t even know if we’re gonna last that long.

Ok, when Mew said 'I love the sound you make when having sex' I literally screamed out OH FUCK HE KNOWS and listen, I have been WAITING for this moment. That was a baller fucking moment. You just KNOW Top's blood ran cold. Of course these two aren't breaking up, because couples like this NEVER break up. Game always recognises game. This is gonna be the first confrontation of many. But I'm pretty sure this is the last time Mew is gonna cry about it. Top might have just picked the wrong one. Mew has two moms, pretty sure he knows how to destroy a man.

🔻4. Nick (2)

I don’t give a shit about what number I am. Screw it. I’m not that into you.

At some point Nick is gonna have to stop threatening to walk and actually fucking walk, but it's clearly continuing to work for him as he and Boston are clearly the boyfriends Boston insists they're not. Dates, couple photos, meeting the dad, tender lovemaking, Boston's deep, dark secrets: Nick's getting it all...except the label he wants so very badly. And now he's shook because he knows Sand stole that recording, and he knows if Boston finds out about it it's all coming crashing down.

🔺5. Cheum (8)

I’m so happy everyone has a lover. Even a heartless slut like Boston has one.

Girl, you absolutely earned that smoke Ray blew at you. Sly Comment Susie got a minor taste of her own medicine and didn't like that shit one bit. It's all fun and games until it's your dirt under the microscope. Maybe Cheum just learned a lesson about minding her own business a little more, or at the very least keeping some of her thoughts to herself.

🔻6. Boston (3)

If I was a nice guy, you wouldn’t like me.

A surprisingly quiet week for Ton as everybody else gets so messy he looks relatively drama-free. But under the surface he's still paddling like mad: screwing Nick like a lover rather than just a fuckbuddy to keep him from leaving, clearly not out to his dad but bringing Nick round to meet him (once again using him for free work), pinning Ray so decisively that he causes a full-on meltdown. Though, 'I don't hate Mew'...well that might actually be true, because he's giving more fear than hatred.

🔻7. Top (1)

I get anyone I want. What about you? Who do you get?

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Top spent the episode feeling totally smug as he finally won the game and is basking in his spoils, swinging his dick around, feeling like King Shit. And then Mew played that recording and LOSER TIME. I have the distinct impression that Top hates to lose...

#only friends the series #bless this mess #only friends weekly character rankings #i support gay wrongs #only friends #only friends series #bl meta series

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yuri-on-cards · 9 months

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Yuri!!! On Cards: The Final Master Post

And so it concludes. With the work of so many artists and writers from the Yuri on the Web Discord server, working together across time (zones) and space (continents), the full deck has been assembled, both as art and stories. This post will include links to everything.

A big THANK YOU to every artist and writer on this project for participating and letting all us mortals enjoy your wonderful works. It's been such a pleasure to do this project. And thank you to everyone who indulged my dumb idea initially. Me making an entire deck by myself would've been dumb (my poor hand) but with all your help this became such a fun group project where no hands were lost.

A special thanks to Lil for being the co-admin on this project, managing everything AO3 because I am useless at that and being there for me to ping pong ideas and desicions off of. I'm not a very desicive person on my own so I really appreciated having someone to share my thoughts with.

Another special thanks to Nic for also being co-admin assembling the entire deck, including making the frames used on every card and making them look damn good. And also for making all the non-picture cards to complete the project. I bow down to you, bestie.

Also, to any curious tumblrinas who have followed along, thank your for your interest! We're glad you like our silly little ideas. And to any new curious tumblrinas, thank you too! The works in this post are made by many different artists and writers and while they're all made from the same outlines, don't expect one big connected universe with no continuity errors. The reigns for this project were pretty loose and it's all just for fun and we hope you'll have some too.

Further information about the outlines and prompts for this project can be found in the main outline, the artists outline and the writers outline.

And with that said, here's the list of all the works, devided by kingdom and character:

The Kingdom of Spades, Realm of Dreams King Yuuri, Wanderer of Dreams Artwork by Arrow Story by Mair Queen Minako, Tamer of Minds Artwork by Arrow Story by Mair Knight Mari, Protector of Innocence Artwork by Nic Story by Mair Ace of the Kingdom Minami, Soul of Symphony Artwork by Tony

The Kingdom of Hearts, Realm of Desires King Viktor, Reflection of Truth Artwork by Riki Story by Arrow Queen Mila, Driver of Passion Artwork by Gront Hat Story by Lil Knight Michele, Carrier of Pride Artwork by Cami Ace of the Kingdom Christophe, Allure of the Soul Artwork by Tony Story by Tony

The Kingdom of Clubs, Realm of Stories King Phichit, Weaver of Legends Artwork by Riki Story by Bakubro Queens Axel, Lutz and Loop, Keepers of Tales Artwork by [user] Knight Sara, Borrower of Sorrows Artwork by Gront Hat Story by Lil Aces of the Kingdom Phichit's Hamsters, Critters of Song Artwork by vicchan

The Kingdom of Diamonds, Realm of Treasure King Yuri, The Orphan King Artwork by Nightmare Story by Levi Queen Georgi, The Broken Star Artwork by Gront Hat Knight Jean Jaques, The False King Artwork by it is i Story by Levi Ace of the Kingdom Otabek, The Deep Shadow Artwork by Arrow Story by Levi

Assigned to no specific kingdom are the Jokers: Makkachin, Joker of Companionship Artwork by Jasper Story by Arrow Vicchan, Joker of Memory Artwork by David Story by Levi

All of the written works can also be found in the Yuri on Cards AO3 collection.

To finish, I want to reiterate my thanks because WOW, y'all did not disappoint with your commitment, I am floored. I mean, have you seen these works? I have no words, at least not any that would suffice and y'all know I never shut up. Thank you so much for indulging me and doing it so wholeheartedly, I'll love y'all forever.

#yuri on cards #yuri on ice #yoi #yuri on ice fanart #yuri on ice fanfic #yoi fanart #yoi fanfic #collaboration

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auxiliarydetective · 3 months

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We've done it!

Or, more accurately, you've done it! Thanks to you, my fellow Tumblrinas, I've actually managed to hit 200 followers!

I never thought I would get this far, but I'm eternally grateful for all the love you've given me, and I can't wait to share many more brainrots with you!

In tune with that, I've decided: Why not let you look even further into my mind? I've given you lots of writing, but why not provide some visuals? And so, in thinking about what I wanted to do for my 200 followers celebration, I came up with...

⁕ Evie's Mind Palace Festival! ⁕

(Placing a cut so this doesn't get too long ^^)

As depicted in this lovely graphic above, I'm going to be focusing on my OCs' fashion for this little event. But not just that! I'll get to the bonuses later :)

For now, text version! Because Tumblr likes not loading images and some people may not be able to view the image

↬ Step 1: Pick an OC of your choice! From my OCs, that is. Hope that was clear. Anyone from the list. I'll even throw in a little bonus and say that unintroduced OCs are allowed! That means the ones on this list AND ones I may have rambled to to you in a chat we've had.

↬ Step 2: Pick an occasion prompt! The prompts are as follows:

Casual (aka everyday wear, aka their basic character design or an alternate outfit or it)

Formal

Training/Athletic

Battle (this may overlap with either 1. or 3. for some characters, but let's assume they actually get geared up for battle)

Hot weather (your typical summer clothes)

Cold weather (sweaters, winter coats, you name it)

Swimwear

Canon event (may overlap with some other categories, but I made this a separate thing for the lore opportunities it provides) - Make sure to specify what canon event you want!

Stealing clothes - You can include who the character should steal from in your ask, otherwise I will pick the victim myself.

Holiday-themed - Pick your holiday! Any holiday counts.

Fandombend - Pick your fandom! (This will probably come with some headcanons on what the OC would be like in the new fandom)

Inspired by a song - Please, pick a song! Preferably from the OC's playlist. I should have a playlist for almost every OC. Hop into the "#playlist" tag on my blog to find them and, if they're not posted over there anywhere, tap on any playlist that's there, let it take you to my Spotify profile, and hop into the "Character Playlists" folder!

↬ Step 3: If you want, pick an extra prompt! Your options are:

Historical - Please specify your time frame! You don't necessarily have to, but I tend to be an indecisive little gremlin, so it would make things a little easier if you could pick ^^"

Fantasy (This, of course, makes little sense if the OC is already in a fantasy setting)

Sci-fi (Once again, this makes little sense if the OC is already in a sci-fi setting)

Steampunk

Cultural - Please pick a culture for me to take inspiration from! It doesn't have to be a real-life culture. For example, you could pick Japan for some kimono art or you could pick the Kuja from One Piece!

Color prompt - Pick your color! I ask that you do keep it at one color so that I have some more freedom, and I won't take specific hex codes either because those specific hex codes might clash with the OC's color palette

Prompt of your choice - This can be literally anything! Yes, also an occasion, in which case it would replace your original occasion prompt. I just didn't have the space to add in all occasions known to man, so if you have another idea, this is where to put it.

↬ Step 4: Send your ask! Done!

Once you've sent your ask, please keep in mind that it might take me a while to answer it. I'll then make a collage/moodboard and get the ask posted. Maybe, I'll also draw your prompt, depending on if I have the energy and/or time for it. If I plan on doing that, I'll let you know in the post and tag you once I have the drawing finished! I may also be swayed into adding a little fic snippet to the answer, if I do feel so inclined. Maybe a song to match the vibes? It'll be a little surprise!

► Rules:

Be nice! It's not hard, and it's basically all I ask.

This is the one time you might not want to shower me in asks because these asks might take a bit to answer. I'm not putting a cap on how many asks per person you're allowed to send, just maybe be mindful of how long they take to answer and space them out over the time of the event.

I'll be accepting asks from the time that this is posted until March 17th. The event ends with the strike of midnight starting the next day. Whenever that may be in your time zone. As long as it's still 23:59 on March 17th somewhere around the world, send in your ask. I might also extend the event if asks keep coming in and I have the energy to keep going.

↬ Additional info for mutuals: You get to ask for crossovers! Just pick one of my OCs and one of yours and I'll try my best to draw them. I might bother you for references though, so be prepared! It doesn't matter how long we've been mutuals for! It could've been five minutes, you're still allowed to send in crossover asks. As long as we're mutuals, let's say, at the time that the ask is answered, it's all good. In practice, that means that you just need to be following me to be able to send in a crossover request. If you ask nicely and maybe say something about why you'd think why our two children would go well together and we share a fandom, it's very unlikely that I'll deny your request and won't follow you back.

Also, if you've ever wanted to say something about my OCs and/or me and my blog, this might be the perfect time for you to do it.

Okay, that's it for now! Love you, everyone! Here's to more fandom-y shenanigans!

Also, behold my new non-OC post divider! It features a lineart sketch of my blog icon in the middle! The icon was designed by @benevolenterrancy pretty much exactly two years ago when they realized my old icon was not, in fact, a unicorn. I still go full-on heart-eyes mode whenever I see my icon, so I figured it was time to remind everyone of the amazing artist that created it <3

Taglist: @starcrossedjedis @oneirataxia-girl @daughter-of-melpomene @fluffle-system @wheresmybloodynauglamir @supermarine-silvally @nanukanal @cody-helix02 (I believe this is the first time I've ever used my full taglist, aka the basic taglist plus everyone from fandom-specific taglists - wowie!) - Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed, for specific fandoms or the general list!

#evie's events #evie's mind palace festival

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foggyfanfic · 4 months

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Queer Madrigals

I'm about to post a couple future!fic for Encanto, so I figured I'd take a minute to talk about my headcanons when it comes to their genders/sexualities.

The Obvious: I've posted somewhat in depth about what I think Bruno and Isabela's individual deals are, so I'm not going to really talk about it here, but yeah. Using the labels I am familiar with, I assume Bruno is demi, bi, and nonbinary, and that Isabela is a lesbian who ends up marrying a trans woman.

The Married: I mean, we can sit here all day and speculate, but the only real headcanons I got are that Juli is demi and Pepa has made out with more women than Bruno.

Mirabel: I've mentioned this, but I didn't really talk about it. Due to heteronormativity I suspect it wouldn't occur to Mirabel to question her sexuality until later in life when the Pride movement starts up. I think she's bi, possibly also demi, but most definitely not very focused on her love life (another reason why she doesn't think too hard about her sexuality). She's got shit to do and if somebody wants to date her they better speak up about it because she's got too many projects going on right now to bother with mind games. Mirabel ends up with a man mostly by coincidence, I saw somebody do the numbers and its just statistically more likely that a bi person will end up with somebody of the opposite sex (the math didn't factor for gender). I try to keep all of my headcanons grounded to peoples lived experiences, and this felt historically accurate.

Luisa: I think that if Luisa were a tumblrina she would end up being CIS+, but would have to go through the journey of exploring her gender due to societal biases. In the context of 1950's Colombia, she spends her youth hearing abuelas and tias talking about how she needs to be more feminine if she wants a husband, and struggles with that for a while. Luisa sings "I glow because I know what my worth is" and that's the sort of thing somebody says when they're on the other side of some serious self doubt, so I do think she had to deal with a bit of misogyny and body image issues. The thing is, Luisa likes the way she looks, and she's proud of what a hard worker she is, but she also wears ribbons in her hair and skirts instead of pants to work in. Furthermore, I suspect every bi person in the village, male or female, has a huge fucking crush on her because if she was a modern tumblrina people would be responding to pictures of her with that "not to be a lesbian but oh my god" stuff. I headcanon her as being technically cishet, but culturally gay due to people being people about the whole Woman with Biceps thing, if that makes sense. Once she starts allowing herself some free time, she dates every bi man in the village.

Dolores: Morosexual. No offense Mariano.

Camilo: You know how gender is a product of your culture and different societies throughout history have had different ideas of how many genders there are and what it means to be a man or woman? I think being able to turn into a woman at will would have an effect on Camilo's relationship with his gender. Like, I don't know if he would be full nonbinary, because I have never met a shapeshifter and asked them how they feel about gender, but I can't imagine he sees gender as a rigid binary. Like I said, I try to stay grounded in my headcanons, and I have zero idea what the lived experience of a shapeshifter is, soooooo...?

Antonio: I have spent a long time weighing the options here, his association with animals makes me think he would be the least traditional Madrigal, so I would like to think he'd end up in the least conventional relationship. I posted a list of headcanons where I floated the idea of him being poly, but I like the idea of him being aroace better. I stand by the rest of it, though. He marries a lesbian, let's her girlfriend move in with them, and he's just kinda there. Like, the women consider themselves married to each other and he's just some guy who talks to birds. They're his best friends and thinks he's pretty great but the only time he has sex is when him and the wives want kids, and other than that he's just vibing. I arrived at this headcanon because I love the idea of him being sorta a reverse Bruno. Like, people think he has two wives so everybody assumes he's this total lady killer, they sing songs about how charming he is, rumors abound that he can make a girl swoon with a single smile, then you talk to him and he's just some guy. Occasionally, a woman will throw herself at him and he's like "No thanks" then starts having a conversation with her cat. Do you see my vision? Anyone? I don't care if nobody else thinks it's funny, because I'm giggling at my computer.

#encanto #queer Madrigals #mirabel madrigal #camilo madrigal #luisa madrigal #antonio madrigal #foggy headcanons #encanto headcanons

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yellowloid · 1 year

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I swear this album is so Milex-coded. Gonna put my fangirl glasses on and look for shipping clues :DD

i think this ask has been in my inbox ever since they dropped the album and i'm so sorry for being so late, i'm bad at being a tumblrina 😔

but YEAH can we actually talk about that?

obviously this is just speculation and theories and bla bla bla we know that + alex's lyricism is so nuanced and full of multi-faceted meanings, and we will never have confirmation on what most of his lyrics actually mean... and i love that, i love that he's always let everyone have their own interpretation(s) of his songs without imposing a single one.

now, i do think most of this album is centered on self-reflection. it's very very very personal and introspective, and what i get from most of the lyrics is him reflecting on his present situation (private life, work life, any aspect of his life really) by using two main elements as his devices to do it:

1) obscure references (the first ones that come to mind are "the simulation cartridge for city life '09", "they shot it all in cinemascope", "lego napoleon movie", "richard of york, the executive branch")

2) even more obscure memories from his past, and especially his childhood (which is particularly clear in the title track itself)

but right along all that self-reflection and addressing himself we also find instances of him clearly addressing someone else. sometimes it's particularly tricky to understand *when* exactly he's talking to himself or that other person. as i already said in other analysis posts, i think sometimes he mixes the 1st and 2nd person pronouns voluntarily, using 'you' not only to refer to his interlocutor but also to himself. that's what makes songs such as mirrorball and body paint so complicated to analyse (ESPECIALLY mirrorball. i'm still so conflicted on my interpretation of it) (+ ever since the album dropped my interpretations of body paint and also mr schwartz changed a bit too. but that's another story)

i think overall most of the songs on this album are not that easily interpreted through a romantic lens. i'd say the one that falls the most into the (very very broad) category of """""love songs""""" is mirrorball - and even then, it'd be a breakup song AND most of it could also still be interpreted as self-reflection. again, multiple interpretations.

there are also some lyrics that could easily pass as...... him throwing shade? lmao some passages in sculptures + hello you really give off that vibe.

getting back to the point of this ask.... yes, i have spent an embarrassing amount of time reading the lyrics over and over again and i do have my crazy little milex theories about them!!!

but what i really love about this way of interpreting the album is the fact that to me, its queerness doesn't necessarily come from it being about a certain person. what makes it so relatable to some aspects of queerness is, again, how self-reflective it is. so many lyrics could be interpreted as him struggling with *his* queerness and expressing that struggle through looking at the past, addressing himself as well as an (imaginary) interlocutor and just finding himself coming back to the same recurrent themes over and over again. ESPECIALLY - and that's what really fucking gets me - the whole mask/façade/persona situation, seasoned with a whole lot of regret and self-deprecation, which is especially clear in body paint (!!!!!!), mr schwartz, big ideas (i feel like as a fandom we don't talk about "the ballad of what could've been" enough. can we actually sit down and THINK about that for a second. such a fucking important line. he was so fucking insane for that) and perfect sense (about which i have a very specific interpretation and is2g don't even touch me that song makes me too emotional it's literally one of the most perfect songs i've ever heard i'm not even joking)

so yeah, some (many) lyrics could be directed at miles (never say never, you know?) but what i really love about the possibility of this album having queer connotations is that it doesn't look for its own queerness from the outside, from a hypothetical (ex-)lover, but rather from alex's own psyche and emotions. its queerness comes from within. from self-reflection and (perhaps unwanted) realizations. from having to hide and keeping a mask on to not be found out. from the inner battle between denial and acceptance.

and then there are a million other unrelated meanings that blend together with the possible queer ones and create such an elaborate set of layers that just makes it so interesting to analyse it!!! and that's the whole point of critical analysis and what makes it so cool!!! having possible multiple interpretations that can coexist with each other!!! i just!!! love that!!! so much!!!

#sorry if this is not the answer you were hoping for ssgshdhshdh #but i just wanted to add my two cents on this bc the queer one (among the other numerous ones) is such an interesting little lens to use >#> to analyse his works. then again. just fan theories and speculation!!!#arctic monkeys #alex turner #milex #my theories #answered

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toy-sitting-anon · 9 months

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what if the bridge on the river kwai but instead of POWs building a real bridge its a kid building a model bridge painstakingly and instead of [spoilers ig] alec guiness dynamiting it in horror as the 1st train is about to cross its aq hot girl delightedly crushing it right before the virgin rail-assage i meant to say rail-passage but the freudian slip is too good

~~more like the bridge on the river kawaii~~

hmm this gets at the most difficult tension at the heart of crushing toys

because it's really uncomfortable if it's crushing toys belonging to a character who's present, especially if they're a child. and adults who own toys (and play with them, or at least display them in a more interesting way than the funko pop wall of death) are based, and i don't want them to be punished for their basedness. but the scoundrels who look down on toy ownership, who truly deserve to have their toys crushed, well, they don't own toys.

(i suppose iot and similar rubbish is more likely to be owned by normies than cool nerds who know about security risks and can spot a scam, and small appliances are generally second to toys in terms of hotness to crush. but i'm not the juicero sitting anon am i.)

so the owner of the toys can't be a character whose despair is visible, and they can't be my toys (i like my toys! i don't want a girl to crush them.), or rather an observer-standin's toys. if you're importing assumptions from other kinks it's easy to round off to a this being something i want visited upon me or something i want to visit upon others. but that's not really the case and leaning into that can ruin it.

(well, if i really really hated someone maybe i would not mind seeing their toys eaten/crushed, because i am a bad person. but you don't generally, you know, do your kinks with people you really really hate and who don't want your kinks done with them. that's a separate thing and generally frowned upon.)

but it is generally hotter if the toys are like. owned, and she is vandalizing/stealing them. and it's hotter if it's burglary than if it's shoplifting. for unknown reasons.

idk a lot of the time it really is just "don't think about it too much," and then i do think about it and feel very guilty about all the fictional characters whose most treasured possessions my ocs have destroyed and it bums (ha) me out for a while.

i can loophole this somewhat by making the girls like. not understand the implications of ownership for some reason. like a time traveler from a post-scarcity future where people can trivially replicate new toys so telling someone "it's so fun to crush your toys!" in her origin culture is sort of equivalent to complimenting someone's cooking. or making her just kind of dense, or have a very weird value system.

idk it is very hot but like any true tumblrina it is difficult to keep the finger-wagging-geist from interrupting my imaginating.

anyway uhhhh what were we talking about? a model bridge? yeah it's hot if she sits on a model bridge

#ask #loving-n0t-heyting

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faithfromanewperspective · 8 months

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bipolar thoughts i guess

listened to some pretty wild podcast episodes of This Is Bipolar today and can i say my mind is still reeling like the stuff on there is insane (latest 2 episodes as of 18/10/2023 if anyone wants to find them) and so i'm gonna try summarise some thoughts cause i need to unclog my head desperately. starting to get confident i know how to make sense, so here you go <3

anyway i went into it like i do often being just like 'do i have bipolar' like i'm pre sure i've got cyclothymia but it's not diagnosed and like. i gotta trust you an awful lot to share Most Difficult Workings Of My Brain with you anyway, and i'm not sure i ever have really properly with any doctor as I like to honour my nervous system and my felt sense of safety when seeking mental health support (it's taken me a while to feel like i'm somewhat in control of utilising that service in my life, but i'm feeling empowered for the most part, and like i do know what i'm doing). hence why i'm sharing it with all of you here online, right? spoilers for how brains work under the cut, and the answer i came to to this question. apologies for grammar i'm in peak tumblrina 2010s teen mode. it gets (a lot) better under the cut.

I won't go into exact details now, but for Quite A While whenever I periodically do quizzes and that out of Curiosity I've found myself more often than not meeting the criteria for both depression and hypomania--this year especially with the completion of my thesis and the work I had to push through to get there, it doesn't surprise me. (And yet I've been feeling like I'm spiralling less than in the past, living in the present more (and feeling things sure) but I'm also starting to realise what that says.) And I'm a seasoned researcher who knows a lot about psychology for an environmental scientist: I know that mixed episodes and rapid cycling are a thing. I can feel the heaviness on my chest, disconnect and grief and dysphoria I've lost the end of the strings leading to them of, and the cluttering of exciting exciting ideas that I feel hopeless more often than not about ever getting out of my head into the world. I know how easy I can tip over into Idea Buzzing Mode. I know how it robs me of sleep when I need it the most, I know how I feel when I'm sleep deprived, that I walk around like a ghost and cross the road without looking.

In my life I've found a lot of people I relate to in different ways, but very few in whom I see a mirror for the extent of the energy that gets unearthed when there's an idea I'm passionate about, how fast my thoughts go and the way I notice everything and come up with solutions like some sort of machine designed to explore every option and how everything in me drives me towards all the ideas I'm having and how difficult it is to sit still and go at someone else's timeline when I just have all this stuff I have to get out of my head or i might scream and hit something and just--it's very unpleasant. People recognise my creativity and even relate to it when I do get the ideas out but do they see how easily it becomes hopelessness, a rift between me and the world, if I don't get to do that exactly how I want to, if everyone around me doesn't listen and play along and make room for me to make systemic changes? I know they don't. And it makes sense in a way: depression is common. My other neurodivergences are fairly common too, as is burnout from them and from the demands of modern life. But so few tend towards hypomania more often than not the way that I do.

And in bipolar communities, which I'm drawn to for it's the best most fitting description I can think of, a lot of the time it tends to be much the same. Not quite. It's almost there. But people's hypomania varies so much: both between the different bipolar diagnoses and within them. It's also often a scary thing. Something they try very hard not to become, when (as is still the dominant narrative) they cycle between debilitating depression and deceptively debilitating (hypo) mania that seems appealing during the lows: I don't have that. I have boom and bust cycles I honour: ADHD and PDA honestly disable me more than depression (like yes it exacerbates them but that whole mashup is something I've been working on dealing with for years) and the older I get the more I realise I think I'm not all that emotionally led as a person. Like whatever I'm feeling exists and is a thing, but whatever needs to be done also exists and so does making space for the feelings of others and it's easy to use the latter things as a distraction from the former, just long enough to get through whatever it is I need to. This works until the idea overload. That stacks on top of the demand overload and constriction and burnout and the effort to mask my ADHD. My brain is too loud, demanding things of me, and maybe it is the fact that I know how to fight it just a little even though it comes at a massive cost to my wellbeing that make it so unbearable but also cryptic. I've had to learn to express it. To feel it, to listen to it, to proactively find productive or neutral outlets that allow the wave to pass without prompting the construction of a lot more waves that are similar. That ground me at the end when I do inevitably burn myself out, like yes, my energy will be depleted afterward, it would be no matter what I did, but bit by bit I leave the rush feeling satisfied, by progress, no matter how small. And so there's no need for guilt and disappointment to accompany me in the resulting sadness. Only weary compassion.

To me, that still sounds like bipolar. The way I have to express myself regularly so it doesn't build up too much pressure and make it burst out in a bad way. How I have to get the energy out and then wind down in really specific ways so I can sleep. Sleep before the crushing loneliness, the glass wall between me and the world kicks in, and most times I still don't. Chase that elusive satisfaction, for i've got so much value-driven energy that overlaps with my other neurodivergences, to let out, and I know I'll feel trapped and helpless and hopeless if I don't. Energy lies dormant when all I feel is weariness, a string of irritations I can't name can trigger it at any time, I'm working on being aware of what these things are. More honest. Express things before they build up. And weariness lies on the other side of the razorblade of passion-led energy for all of my ideas, my fragile ideas, that I feel hopeless about executing and don't most of the time have real energy, real spoons, to properly sit down and plan for, not when my mind is racing so fast. It could be the result of passion and autodidactic motivation that won't die no matter how much the world tries to make me something I'm not: it comes out in waves, wrestling constantly with the behaviour I should exhibit, whatever pleases people the most and makes me feel dead inside.

But why look for more complex answers when the evidence is all there? Sure this could exacerbate symptoms up from dormancy. But why would this be my reaction, and others react differently? I will always have ideas, far more ideas than the average person. I will always feel injustice, even when it's not specifically happening to me. I will always grieve it. Even if there's a world where I was lucky enough to never experience the slightly less than optimal conditions that squeezed me in a way that made the ideas seem more urgent than they otherwise would be, and had my emotional needs fully met at all times, these things will always be a part of me. My body will always be a bit too sensitive to stimulants, especially for someone with ADHD, and feel a bit too empty, a bit unable to do anything productive and boring, when excitement isn't right in front of me.

I'm so lucky I never tried antidepressants actually. I have no idea what they'd do to me, but I'm pretty sure I'm already hypomanic most of the time even when I'm also depressed. Maybe something good came of that attitude I carry in my veins from my home city, passed down in DNA and modelling by generations of people who had it hard, who learned to go on despite whatever was going on, who felt its impacts in their lack of emotional presence with their children or the inability to open up to actually trust someone with all that we carry inside our heads. Because let's face it, mental health services are biased towards white upper/upper middle class people who are socialised to be able to talk about their feelings and not have to choose between letting those feelings out and safety, security, and food on the table. I am privileged in so many ways, growing up in a family determined to make sure I was loved and protected. But some things, some ancestral things, are stronger than one generation of tertiary-educated, middle class wannabe (and not even all that emotionally present, just idealistic) parenting. Some things you pick up, and where I'm from you suffer like it's expected for you to. You do what it takes to survive, and for me learning about all the Brain Things is one such thing. No one is going to help you, and actually having the autonomy over our own solutions, the innovation to create them and find ways to finance them, is a source of pride that sometimes is the only thing that keeps me going. I tried so hard to apply it to myself, I knew I needed to, when the mainstream messages about getting help for your mental health arrived in the middle class outer Brisbane locality I lived in at the time and never quite fit into. But it painted a picture of surrender, a loss of autonomy dressed as humility and bravery. I could do it right up until I made a new person and my instincts kicked in: you be polite, you focus on them in the conversation, not yourself. Turns out it makes your problems seem smaller, even nonexistent to them. But I don't know any other way. I'm glad though in some ways: both so that I can find solidarity with those who share my culture, and the fact that I never tried antidepressants.

I've got a post coming on the Western Sydney Work Ethic as I call it (which encompasses a lot of things, being hardworking and polite among them but also the fact that I know a small handful of people, it took me far too long to realise it includes me, who can be actively suicidal and just go 'oh but none of us get what we want so I'll appease the people around me who might get upset by living just a little longer' and go back to work. literally. and all of them are either from sydney or were raised by someone who was). But for now I want to provide some background to the antidepressants phenomenon: basically, they can cause hypomania if you have a pre-disposition to bipolar, and if you're already hypomanic they can cause full-blown mania and start a pattern that then occurs on its own after the first time. They're not the only substance that can trigger this (stimulants are too, no wonder I didn't sleep for nearly 2 days the first time I tried a low dose of ADHD meds and now have a quarter of even that dose) but you can see how logical it is: someone comes in for depression, doesn't realise it's not the full picture of what's going on, gets prescribed antidepressants, voila, time to change your diagnosis.

Proponents of bipolar-should-be-managed-by-neurology-rather-than-psychiatry argue a predisposition for it that exists, apparently something to do with the way the brain processes (or doesn't) glucose for energy, something to do with amino acids (apparently taurine can cause hypomania I'm still a little sus about that) and neurotransmitters our body makes out of these things such as GABA, acetylcholine, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, and more. I know a little about these, more than the average person, and one day I'll apply my basic biochemistry knowledge and update all of you on what I find. For now, that makes perfect sense. We know the relationship between ADHD and dopamine, between GABA and sleep/melatonin, we know too much dopamine causes psychosis, we know how well bipolar responds to medications that target any one of these. Apparently the fats and amino acids you ingest can also help oil the chemical processes that for some of us come out not working and easily get broken. Apparently if you do it well it's got potential to be just as effective (not a supplement for, but maybe in addition to) medication. All I know is an awful lot about how to meet your nutritional needs as a vegan, and the fact that something in me works, has me not completely forgetting feelings of hope at any time, has me still having some semblance of self-control (it sounds like a flex, i'm sorry, I really don't intend to shame anyone for anything or say anything along the lines of 'i can do this so so can you' or in any way insinuate it isn't hard for me, it is, just a kind of hard that's unique to my set of circumstances) when I am hypomanic and I have forgotten what a normal person level of energy is and all the people around me can see that I'm coming undone (but not professionals. Never professionals. I forget everything I'm feeling the moment I'm in anyone else's office).

Backtracking, the first memory I have of what is clearly in hindsight a hypomanic episode happened when I was 16, a year before I went vegan. Depression is harder to pick as it tends to come in hand in hand with burnout, I definitely felt I wasn't worth gifts and special treatment and anything good in general from a young age but kept myself busy with exciting things that kept me feeling a sense of autonomy and kept me afloat until I realised I couldn't do it anymore. I still remember the day everything changed and I hit that wall, three days before my 17th birthday. I was still an omnivore, fed mostly by my health-conscious (in a way that you have to be when doctors in 2001 says your baby who is allergic to dairy will never get her nutritional needs met without it, so not diet cultury psuedoscience in any way) mother. We had a lot of healthy fats and a good mix of amino acids in her ADHD-friendly meals and I was in the process of using science to make vegan versions of them that included everything good and necessary, but hadn't made the leap yet and wouldn't properly for a few more months. Since I went vegan, the nervous system burnout has hit again and again because of toxic environments, but I've maintained my energy to study and work even though I feel tired and buzzing with unexpressed ideas all the time. Barely, but I sometimes wonder how: is it passion that drives me? Am I just lucky? Am I not as unwell as I seem to keep discovering only in hindsight when others got concerned about me breaking down randomly and not remembering it that I brushed off and said i was slowly dealing with among all my other occupations?

I don't know why I've rattled on about food for so long. Truly, it seems irrelevant, maybe it is, there's definitely a lot of pseudoscience around the gut brain connection (it's false btw, the serotonin produced in the gut can't get to the brain, don't let them convince you), maybe this is just another wave of this that a few scientists have fallen for. Stick to this assumption unless proven otherwise. But I also think I've been in a mixed episode phasing in and out in intensity depending on whatever's going on around me and stressors of all kinds and fallout for them, for the last five years. It's been exhausting. I did a whole uni degree in that time. Barely. Invested in my hobbies, had a real job, jobs, both in my field and other fields important to me, taken care of people and pets and suffered a lot but somehow managed (though I do wonder if I ever really had a chance not to, without completely coming undone and losing my autonomy even more in a way that even my most successful strategies of dealing with the suicidal and reckless thoughts couldn't withstand). I've been a shell of a person this whole time, yes, but I've been stressed and I'm dealing with that now and feeling things again and I've never felt peace in my entire life but I do see glimpses of it now. Like all this can be happening inside my head but I can manage it and make progress with what I can, but maybe befriend the rest, sit with it, accept it, it isn't scary it's just an experience I can love myself more because of. It isn't all zen, but I can treat others like they're worthy of that and I can do so with myself too. Oh, and I've been vegan that whole time. Though it probably doesn't make any difference, that's just a random fact that's probably irrelevant. Enough about food.

Basically I'm still a little confused and doubting what's basically a self diagnosis at this stage because of this attitude I have. Maybe for good reason. Maybe because there aren't all that many people out there feeding into both psychiatry and communities where we share our voices, and I shouldn't found my doubts on a lack of representation when I can instead be that representation. I'm pretty sure I meet criteria for bipolar something or another. If so how is it possible to be for the most part chill with it? Is it because I'm sheltered and don't have to worry about a lot, not for me personally (tbh I never cared about myself all that much) even though I do worry for and pour my life into caring for, others, the disadvantaged and vulnerable for whom I yearn for the feeling of empowerment. Or is it because I've seen so much that nothing can faze me. That I've empathised with people suffering similarly without the supports or without the resources I have in any way and part of me was like, we can all do this, and it's exactly because of what I do go through and how strongly I relate that I am able to prove this. It's probably a nice mix of both. Showing we're more than we put out on the surface, we're more than labels and there's diversity within them and richness and capacity for love in areas we'd never think of.

This topic knocks me around a lot emotionally, but in a good way I think. Unlocks the gates for grief to flow through but with it, the connection I long for. The ability to express my ideas rather than the numbness I so often feel. I feel it when I think about my favourite parabatai pair (even which one this is makes sense) and some headcanons about both them not many people are as invested in as I am. It's actually painful to think about (but in a good way, the kind that opens your eyes, who doesn't want that, and in it helps you see that yes this is as bad as it looks but we can get through this). It distracts me more than ADHD ever did. But allows me to channel my true self into my work, with everything that has shaped me, even if part of it is an illness (which absolutely I don't have to identify with, especially as my experience of it is sheltered, is mild in many ways) it brings with it truth, words to describe phenomena. And maybe that was all I ever needed. Validation is power.

the podcast episodes i was talking about @ibrushmyteeth-donttellanyone

and you might be interested @tleeaves

#personal mental health tag #bipolar #bipolar awareness #neurodivergence #burnout #tw suicide mention

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