WAIT, is it true we're getting more miguel art? Don't get me wrong, I love Astarion, but my atsv fixation is coming back hard and it would just be so perfect! <33 Thanks for all the work you do!
Well, short answer is yes! It's a little silly actually, but to you guys it seems like I just randomly stopped drawing him and moved on, but I've actually been working on multiple Miguel drawings since like, October, for different zines. Those pieces will eventually get posted too, but it'll be a while, ngl.
But yes, ya'll will get a completely different Miggy thing soon, hopefully in time for Christmas! 😊 I'm SO glad you like my Astarion stuff too, thank you so much for the kind words!
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Scar's life in Secret Life was SOOO reminiscent of what his life in Last Life was like but there was one difference. In Last Life, he was giving away hearts and trying to appeal to people so they could be his friend. He lost his friend so early on and became desperate. At the end of the day, he still lost. In Secret Life, he's forced to become a villain at the will of the Secret Keeper. I mean, he'll get more hearts in return if he does this, right? And yet, no. Each time he got a task like that he didn't get more hearts, and it just screwed up his relationships, and yet, at the end he embraced the role. At the end of the day, he won.
Scar wins when he's detached from any sort of allyship. Grian tends to be at fault for his closest allies dying and ALWAYS outlives them. They both progress the game without allies.
Sick in the head.
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Sorry guys, another DE rant incoming. This one's not even on any specific topic, just some feelings about the game that I need to get out.
So, the game absolutely fucking killed me. I intentionally didn't play the entire thing at once to give myself time to process and it still fucking killed me. And by killed I mean I had to take crying breaks at work hiding in the bathroom. Like literally unable to go through a day at work without coming this close to a breakdown. And there's other compounding factors for that, sure, but still.
And it's like... It's a chilling social commentary with too many layers for its own good. The main character is a walking bundle of current and past issues mixed with the consequences of extremely messed-up past actions. The main support character has the best of intentions but is heavily flawed himself. Everyone else in the story is fucked up, really every single fucking thing is fucked up, yet the game itself keeps giving you these little snippets of hope. All the side quests where you can make a difference to someone. Deep conversations. Kim smiling. Realizing the people you originally thought were massive assholes were just hurting. The goddamn stick insect.
You are a violent and irrepressible miracle.
Something beautiful is going to happen.
In the dark times, should the stars also go out?
Streets and sodium lights, the sky, the world. You're still alive.
You still have some years. You still have some hope.
The only way to load the dice is to keep on fighting.
Kim being so hopelessly in love with Revachol even though he's been treated like shit by the city's inhabitants.
Harry being so hopelessly in love with Revachol, too, even though he can't even remember her.
The world is shit, but there's still all these little things that make it worth living.
And I'd... really love for that to be my take away. I would really, really fucking love that. But somehow, I can't.
Because no matter how much good you do preventing an absolute bloodbath in Martinaise, changes are coming, and they aren't good changes. The wheels are already in motion and they cannot be stopped, no matter how vigilant Harry is, no matter how much Revachol loves him.
22 years after Harry wakes up, Revachol's getting nuked to pieces.
Some 5 years after that, the entire world as we know it is getting swallowed by the pale.
Kim Kitsuragi will not live to see 70.
(Honestly, this is the line that kills me the most. He deserves to grow old, to look at his life and be happy with what he's done with it, at peace and fully accepted by everyone including himself for the first time in his life. And instead he's getting killed in a pointless conflict that will usher in the end of the world, or if he won't get killed then, he's getting nuked to death. Kim Kitsuragi will not live to see 70.)
Anyway. I know that that's part of the point. Horrible things are inevitable but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living and good things aren't worth fighting for. You can still fight the inevitable darkness while you're here, you should still fight the inevitable darkness while you're here, you need to fight the inevitable darkness while you're still here because if you don't, then what are you living for? And if not you, then who? If you lose your last sliver of hope, then you lose everything. Yes, life is terrible and terrifying, but life is also so, so, so beautiful.
And even when life is shit, it's all just part of a cycle. Sometimes bad things need to happen in order for the good ones to be able to come back again. One day I'll return to your side. After death, life again. After the pale, the world again. The good connected to the bad, intertwined so tightly they cannot be separated in any meaningful way.
And I think I'm starting to get there, I really do. After the pale, the world again. Even in the darkest of times there is always hope of a brighter future. After the pale, the world again. After death, life again. Un jour je serai de retour près de toi. The only way to load the dice is to keep on fighting. The stars will never go out, not even in the darkest of times.
But instead I just... I close my eyes and I think of Revachol herself begging Harry to save her, and I think of her burning, and I think of Kim not living to see 70.
And I want to cry.
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