#I'm a huge perfectionist so this is probably a good thing to do

[thatoneluckybee]

It's 12am school night and my tablet's on the verge of death so I'll finish the drawing meme tomorrow chat

#I have like 10 people say yes so far and two if them have the same icon so perfect number #If anyone else responds tomorrow I'll just make two #Anyways #its terrible and I am having the time of my life making the most atrocious doodles known to man #Rambles #i need to do purposefully crappy things more often it's really fun #I'm a huge perfectionist so this is probably a good thing to do

[agnesthecartoonfreak]

⚠️Age gap, smut, dilf⚠️

You were warned

(Also be kind. English is my second language)

Insecure

Price always knew the power he had over woman in general. He was a fit military man with who could pick them up and throw them over his shoulder anytime he wanted. That gave him confidence. After being almost a month tied to a wheel chair not much confidence was left.

Despite his confidence he was never a fan of his own body, growing old does not go easy on anyones selfesteem, his fit shereded body became a dad bod. Which he did not like. Fun fact about our captain, he is pretty much a perfectionist when it came to his own phisical appearence.

That specific day he was looking at some old photos of his young adult days in the army. The peak of his phisical shape. He would get so much attention back than. But now? Price sighs not noticing

From the other side of the room you notice tho.

"You've been nostalgic Captain?" You ask a bit worried about his mood today

He smiles warmly in your direction

"Remembering the glory days hehe"

You don't exactly understand

"Glory days?"

Price chuckles

" My youth... I miss having a body like that. I wish I met you back then darling. We would have fun" he kind of did not notice his last words

But you did...

You kneel next to his wheel chair. Looking at his old pictures. He was indeed handsome. Most likely a ladies man

" I think I wouldn't be into you back then"

Price looks in confusion

"What? Why?" A bit offended but he wouldn't admit that

"You were still growing up. You were probably reckless and imature... The things I admire in you were not there yet"

He chuckles

"Like?"

"Like your patience, your soft but rough voice, your charm , your beard and your body"

A bit surprised he talks back

"My body was way better back then"

"I disagree" you insist

He looks at you waiting an aswer

"Explain"

"You were trying too hard I think. Too skinny I think, probably in some crazy cut diet to show your abs. You look much more manly now a bit bigger but still strong as a bull" you reply

He seems touched by what you just told him. He gets a bit closer to you and you do not pull away. Both of you glance uncontrolably at each others lips.

They touch... Softly, like a slow dance. The soft kisses continue till they are interruped by a annoying ringtone

" Shit..." price mumbles

It's his daughter he has to answer it

He talks to his daughter on the phone for a while. You recompose yourself setting his bathroom so he can have a shower afterwards

She makes a promise to herself to keep on acting normally, like nothing happend. That would be professional right?

He comes back and you announce

"Sir it's time for your bath"

Price is a bit confused by the sudden change of topic. He gets a bit disappointed

Maybe you regreted? However he caries on with the task

As you shower him he cracks jokes making you feel more confortable during the task. When he thinks the mood is apropriate he says

"Listen I don't want you to feel forced to please me just because you admire me or something. I get it. I'm too old for you. I'm not mad at you I just want you to feel confortab-

Suddently you interrupt Jonh's speech by sitting on his lap and kissing him. You two kiss in silence for about 5 minutes before both of you completely run out of breath. Keeping your foreheads connected, both trying to catch their breath.

"I thought..." Price starts

"I wanted to be professional. Sorry for making you feel unwanted"

He laughs.

"What are you laughing about?"

"I wanted to do that for so many weeks..."

You chuckle looking down at his lap

"I can tell"

Price closing his eyes realizing he has now a huge boner

"That is embarrassing"

You shift your hips on his lap so you can feel him. He grabs you hips with his good hand by reflex. He open his eyes, they are now darker with desire

"I wanted to be a gentleman and take you out to dinner first..." he says but he clearly doesn't want you to stop. He uses his hand in your hip to rock your hips together

A deep shy moan escape his lips

" We can do that later Jonh. But I think now we need to take care of your needs"

.

.

.

.

Taglist: @sillylittlereader

#cod x reader #writers on tumblr #price smut #price x y/n #captain john price #john price #modern warfare x reader #modern warfare

[undreaming-fanfiction]

My Kind of Perfect

Ahaha. I finally finished my entry for @thefreakandthehair's Spicy Six Winter Fic Challenge. Well, one of them. This one is Looking for the perfect Christmas tree. Also on Ao3 because it's kinda long. Enjoy!

Steve Harrington hated the word "perfect". He hated it with passion fuelled by over a decade of unreasonable expectations, disappointed glances and stern talks about fixing his priorities, hated it even more after he saw all the pressure perfection put Nancy under. It was such a funny thing, hating something yet still feeling like a failure for not being exactly that. It didn't matter how much he tried, his parents said it was only the results that mattered, not the effort. So yes, perfection could kiss Steve's toned ass.

Steve learned to find beauty in imperfections instead. He adored how Robin sometimes rambled so much she bit her lip or her tongue in the process and then kept sticking it out to make it hurt less. He loved how Nancy sometimes laughed so hard at Robin's corny jokes that she forgot to laugh like a lady but snorted instead, making such undignified noises that it had everyone present howling with laughter. He enjoyed the annoying sassiness of the younger Wheeler, Dustin's constant but caring nagging, Lucas's stubborn nature. And most of all, his heart could burst with fondness when he saw Eddie Munson chewing on his hair, storing pens in the messy bun he sometimes pulled it into, scribbling over his arms random lyrics that had just popped into his head. This was what beauty was in Steve's world, not the constrictive perfection his parents sought.

When his boyfriend - and boy, did even thinking that word make something flutter in his chest, he sure hoped it wasn't a heart attack, but even if it was, Eddie was worth it - asked him to join the search for the perfect Christmas tree for himself and Wayne ("and you too, Steve, there's no way you're spending another Christmas Eve alone"), he really wanted to tell Eddie that any tree would be perfect because it would be for them, decorated by them, that he didn't care for the word at all. But Eddie's eyes were huge and warm, full of wonder and excitement, and Steve just bit his tongue and adjusted Eddie's scarf before heading out of the door. He tried not to think about all the times his father inspected their Christmas tree and if he found a single crack, a single imperfection on any of the ornaments, it got immediately removed and tossed into the trash. What a message did that send to young Steve Harrington.

For the better or the worse, yeah no, definitely for the better, they were here now, trying to find a...tree? Steve honestly had no idea what a perfect tree looked like, he assumed it should be green and probably not balding. That would have been enough for him. But surprise surprise, Eddie Munson, probably the messiest person on this planet Earth, could be a perfectionist. Why and to what end, Steve didn't know. They had been at it for hours already, Eddie was inspecting every single branch, measuring the tree if it would fit in the trailer, watching it from varying angles and Steve was freezing. He tried to be helpful, he really did, but he didn't understand the task and he definitely didn't understand the reason for it.

As it became darker and colder, Eddie grew more agitated. He seemed stressed, his eyes were darting among the trees and after asking Steve to choose between two nearly identical trees and Steve admitting he had no preference, Eddie snapped at him. "Really, Steve? Just pick what you like, how is that difficult? Or aren't these good enough? I'm just trying to get it right, find a perfect one, but I can't do it alone, man!"

And Steve was getting frustrated too, all too reminded of all the times when his mother pulled perfectly ironed shirts from his closet in shades so similar they could very well be the same and asked him, as if he ever had a choice anyway, which one he preferred. Maybe that comparison wasn't fair because Eddie was here, Eddie actually cared and was giving him options, but the ridiculousness of the whole situation hit him like a ton of bricks. "But why?" he asked, exasperated. He ran hand through his hair, ruining it - but perhaps not, it was full of snow and moisture anyway. "Why does it have to be perfect? And what does perfect even mean, I don't even know what we're looking for! So help me a bit here!"

Eddie just stared at him as if he grew a second head. "Why?! Because it's...it's our first Christmas, Steve. Our first Christmas together, so it needs to be perfect." When he saw Steve's blank stare, he continued, losing himself in examining yet another perfectly adequate tree. "I might not be able to do fancy stuff, but this is like, basic, you know? You just...you deserve it and more, and I want to give it to you. So excuse me if I'm going to freeze to death to find the prettiest tree for us! Because you, Steve Harrington, deserve perfection and I might be, well, me, but I'm going to do my damn best to give you that." It was looking more and more like Eddie was trying to crawl inside that tree instead of measuring its circumference.

Of course, they had talked about this already. The quick sleight of hand that Eddie performed with dirty, cracked or too used mugs, plates. The ashamed look towards every crack, every spot of peeling paint in the trailer. It might have been newer than the one they lost to Vecna, but still nothing luxurious and no matter how many times Steve told him that it was okay, that he liked their home was actually lived in, there was always this unspoken feeling of inadequacy in Eddie's actions.

Steve reached out and stopped Eddie's frantic patting of the tree, whatever it was supposed to be. "Baby. I've never...I don't want perfect. I just want you."

"Oh wow. Ouch." But Eddie's mouth corners were twitching and he finally let go of the unlucky tree. "You sure know how to make a guy feel special."

"Wait, no. I mean, I'm not taking it back because I mean it, but in a good way!" Steve was rambling now and he would feel hot with shame if there wasn't that special amused twinkle in Eddie's eyes that never felt like a judgement, only kind teasing. "Okay, it sounded shitty because to me you're perfect, but also maybe not? And that's what I like, what I love so much. I'm sick of perfection, of fancy dinners, perfectly cut and trimmed trees, shiny baubles without a single fingerprint on them. Presents wrapped so perfectly you don't even want to touch them because you'll ruin them. Do you know we used scissors to open our presents, back when my parents were still home? Tearing the paper off was too unsightly or some shit like that."

Eddie blinked and his mouth hung open, forgetting to snicker at Steve's attempt to salvage his speech about perfection. "What the fuck?"

Steve just nodded and if his smile didn't fully reach his eyes, it was only for a moment. "Right? That's where perfection gets you. It's all for appearances, no real thing under it. You can have the prettiest thing but I'm so fucking sick of feeling like I'm just a visitor in my own life. So I want something real. I want cookies that are maybe a little burnt, Christmas dinner on mismatched plates, a mistletoe that falls into my face when I kiss you because you didn't attach it properly."

Eddie gave a theatrical sigh and rolled his eyes, nudging Steve in the side through his coat. "That happened only one time and I fixed it right after, I swear to god, are you going to blame me for it forever?!"

"It has only been like a week, but yes. When Dustin decides to give us grandchildren or whatever his kids would be considered, this will be the first family story they will learn," snickered Steve. His smile grew into something more restrained, tender. "But I wouldn't trade it for the world. And if there are those stubborn bits on your ugly Christmas sweater that won't come off, and even if you bitch about it being too short or too long or too ugly which, sorry love, but it is-"

"It was on sale! And you have to admit the pattern is crazy interesting! Is it a snowman? Is it a cryptid? No one knows!"

"-shush. I'm complimenting you here, not your sweater. What I mean is - it's my kind of perfect. Anything with you is. Hell, we could throw a stone blindfolded and take whichever tree it hit and I'd think that's the best one."

Eddie leaned towards him and kissed the tip of his nose. "Way too dark for that, Stevie. Good method though." He was still joking, of course he was, it was Eddie after all and humor was his second nature. But the way he managed to tame his restless energy to listen to Steve, the way he was biting his lips and hiding his smile...maybe Steve was finally getting through to him. Maybe practice really makes perfect (there's that word again, damn it), repetition too.

"Next time then," laughed Steve. "But really, I couldn't care less what tree we bring home. It's another...temporary thing, if that makes sense? What makes me happy is how excited you are for it, but please, Eddie. Don't do this for me because you think you have to. I'm not...I'm not like this because I want to. It's because I had to be. And trust me," he said, biting his lip perhaps too hard, too deep, but there were some things he found difficult to admit even to himself, "I'd sometimes like to let go. Not shout at the kids when they dive nose first into the first muddy puddle or think about which laundry detergent would get rid of the stains because I don't want their parents yelling at them. And I know they won't because they're good people, but the thought is still there, you know? And being able to...not wash dishes immediately after dinner, not to scrub my shoes so they don't look used, it's kind of new for me, but also...I like it. It's so freeing, but it's small steps, you know. It's like you're my safe space to be more myself, more...faulty? Imperfect? Is that a word? That. Yeah, I just...with you I don't feel like I need to be so anxious all the time. So, uh...what I'm trying to say is...we can pick any tree you like?" he finished, feeling even more stupid than usual. Where did he even intend to take this speech? How did they get to this from a simple tree shopping trip?

Eddie chewed on his glove, lost in thought. And maybe it was a little bit gross and the teeth imprints on the fingers made Steve's brain do a small gymnastic number, bouncing against the walls of his cranium, but he would always manage to shush it. This is what I want, he'd tell that stubborn squishy asshole that was equally his friend and enemy, and if you don't like it, we can get Eddie new gloves when he chews through these. Compromises everywhere, with Eddie, with his own brain. "Eddie?"

Eddie shook his head, sending those pretty curls flying everywhere and stirring the setting layer of snowflakes. "We're so unpacking all of that later, Stevie. Over coffee or something. And then we're leaving the mugs in the sink for half a day. At least. What did I want to...oh. That." He finally stopped nibbling on his finger and grabbed Steve's hand instead, squeezing it. It must have been impossible to feel anything through their thick gloves, but Steve could swear he suddenly felt warmer. "So, what I'm going to tell you will sound crazy lame. Like, absolutely lame. And I know you'll claim it's adorable or some shit like that, but I'm acknowledging the lameness in advance so can kick this elephant out of the room and...yeah." He cleared his throat and maybe his face grew a little bit redder, maybe not even from the cold. "So, we normally don't get like, real Christmas trees," he admitted, watching Steve's shoes as if they were the pinnacle of the latest Hellfire campaign. "It's like, at first we couldn't really afford them, you know? It's another expense and just having Christmas with Wayne was everything I wanted. One of the guys from the plant gave him an artificial tree. Kinda small, to fit in the trailer, and it's all crooked and probably older than I am. But even when I started my...um. Side hustle. And we could afford a real tree, we kind of didn't want it anymore? Because Hubert-"

"Hubert?" interjected Steve, snorting and attempting to cover it - very poorly - as a sneeze.

Eddie waved his hand. "Yes, Hubert. The tree is old enough to have a driver's licence, Steve. Of course he has a name. I wish I could remember where we got it, but anyways, we kind of stuck with Hubert every Christmas because he's like a family. It."

"He," grinned Steve and wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist, pulling him a little closer. It was magical how well they fit together. "Don't you dare disrespect Hubert like that."

That earned him a giggle from Eddie too. "True, my humble apologies, Hubert. So anyway, I wanted to get a real tree this year because when I drove past your house in the past, it was always decorated to perfection and I just thought...I don't want you to settle for anything less, you know? So I was even ready to get some fancy baubles or whatever they call it because Hubert always wore the weirdest combination of anything and everything we could find, did you know they even sold Garfield ornaments? I got them for Wayne one year and they're so fucking ugly Stevie, it's no joke how atrocious they are, but it kind of became our thing. We'd hold competitions every year to buy the ugliest ornament possible and add it to Hubert's ever-growing medal collection. So, um..." he trailed off, pressing his lips into a thin line. "What was I saying?"

Steve stroked his cheek and laughed as several snowflakes melted into Eddie's skin. They were so going to regret just standing in the freezing night and discussing Garfield ornaments. "I believe you were just describing my perfect Christmas tree, Eddie."

Eddie shot him a disbelieving look. "You mean old, plastic, wobbly and with a flamingo topper that Wayne got as a joke one year and we never bothered replacing it?"

"Yes." He leaned in again and kissed Eddie's forehead, feeling the cool skin against his lips. "It wound be my absolute honor to meet Mr. Hubert Munson. None of these compare," he declared and waved his arm around, pointing at the perfect, even trees.

Before he could pull back, Eddie wrapped himself around Steve, like an octopus. His arms went around his back and squeezed hard enough for Steve's back to produce a mostly pleasant crunch. Eddie burst out laughing before nibbling beneath the edge of Steve's scarf, placing a small kiss on his pulse point. "Have I ever told you I love you Steve?"

Steve went for casual, shrugging and willing his racing heart and the butterflies in his stomach to take a break. "Probably, but you know my memory is shit. Care to repeat it?"

"Sneaky," smirked Eddie and then he repeated it. And again. And maybe once more for good measure.

--

When Wayne returned from his shift, he found his son (well, nephew, but the paperwork could fuck off, he and Eddie knew what they were to each other) and his boyfriend sleeping on the couch, exhausted and grasping half-unpacked boxes of Christmas ornaments. Steve was cradling the flamingo topper like a firstborn child and Eddie was wearing a tinsel crown. Wayne's heart swelled at the scene, the domesticity he never imagined Eddie having in Hawkins, but apparently he was wrong and so glad for it.

"Don't you have a bed, boy?" he asked and was treated with the glorious sight of Steve straightening up, still half-asleep, and Eddie faceplanting into the carpet, sending the tinsel crown flying. "Not the ground. Bed," he added.

"Funny. Such a funny man," mumbled Eddie into the carpet. "Glad it runs in the family. Might have thought I'm adopted otherwise. You know...because I have hair."

Wayne just gave a quiet huff of laughter and proceeded to make himself a cup of tea. Beer would have been his poison of choice, but it was cold as hell outside and he wanted to linger in the kitchenette a bit longer. His boy looked happy, so sue him. "I'm sure glad you're still sleepin', boy, otherwise I'd have to take that comment personally. You wish your head was as shiny. You okay there, Steve?"

Steve moved his unfocused gaze in Wayne's general direction. "Yessir...Wayne, I mean. Okay. Am."

Suppressing a smirk, Wayne shook his head. "Watching Star Wars again? I swear I know that weird word order from somewhere..." He stopped himself and looked around the room, narrowing his eyes. There was something missing. "Hey boys, didn't you go tree shopping or somethin'?"

Eddie had already risen from the ground and leaned against Steve's knees, the other boy mindlessly running his fingers through Eddie's ever tousled hair. "Oh. That. We tried, but...let's just say that someone was eager to meet Hubert instead. Apparently no other tree compares."

Something stirred in Wayne's chest again. He'd always known Eddie wouldn't be with him forever, that the strange little traditions they had would eventually disappear as his boy built his own life. So when Eddie suggested with poorly hidden guilt that they might have to leave Hubert in the closet this year, Wayne accepted it, as he should have. Of course things would be different now, with Eddie dating the Harrington boy.

Except the boy - no, Steve - surprised him and kept doing so. Wayne had never met a kid, rich or not, this eager to please, this kind, with such a big heart and so much to give. He tiptoed around their kitchenette to prepare breakfast for Eddie and Wayne, wasn't afraid to get himself dirty repairing stuff around the trailer, watched games with Wayne while Eddie jokingly whined in the background...Wayne had never bothered to imagine what is son-in-law or daughter-in-law would be one day, but he knew a good one when he saw them. And Steve was as good as they came.

Wiping a rogue tear - nope, more like water condensation, it was freezing outside, had he mentioned that? - he gestured towards the closet. "Well? Why is Hubert still restin' then?"

Eddie pushed himself upright and walked towards Wayne, hiding his smile behind one of those strands of hair. "I wanted to wake him up, but Steve insisted we should all be here for his resurrection. So...we were waiting for you, old man."

Well, shit. What was an old man to do with all these emotions? Wayne just reached out and grasped Eddie's shoulder, slightly shaking him. "Thoughtful. I like your boy."

Eddie chuckled and laid his hand over Wayne's. "I'm glad. But he's mine, don't get any dirty ideas!"

Before Wayne could come up with a witty response, as if he could ever beat Eddie in that, Eddie had already made his way towards the couch and knelt in front of Steve who had started slightly snoring during their conversation, sleeping upright. "Wake up, sleeping beauty," cooed Eddie and gently squeezed Steve's knee. "Time to meet Hubert."

"Hubert?!" Steve was suddenly wide awake, shooting up so fast Eddie fell back to the carpet, ass first.

"Oh wow," mused Eddie from the ground, "how come you never react to my name like that? I wish I had love like your and Hubert's."

Wayne just sipped his hot tea as Steve helped Eddie up, muttering half-hearted apologies. "Don't mind the boy, he was raised well but became a clown anyway. Now...shall we?"

Steve Harrington still hated the word perfect. The Christmas of 1986 ended up being anything but perfect in the way his parents defined the word, with the never ending fits of laughter over the Munson ugly ornament collection, the flamingo topper (after a round of arguing and lots of eggnog, the flamingo was ceremoniously named Hugo, Hubert's butler), Hubert's crooked plastic branches and cookies that might not have been decorated perfectly, with attempted Hellfire designs and sports club logos, a D20 thrown here and there, but most of them ended up being blobs of icing anyway. Despite Eddie's reassurances, the mistletoe ended up falling again, tangling in Steve's hair and resulting in Eddie shouting "THIS WAS MY PLAN ALL ALONG, NOW I GET TO KISS YOU ALL THE TIME HARRINGTON!" The turkey had to be chopped into smaller pieces because the trailer oven was too small and the mashed potatoes were somehow full of chunks.

And somehow, it was more perfect than any other Christmas Steve had ever known. With Wayne hugging Steve after unwrapping two tickets to a baseball game, the kids stopping by and filling the trailer way beyond its capacity, exchanging gifts ("tear that paper off, Steve! No scissors in this house! Not now, not ever!"), piling mugs stained by hot chocolate in the sink and avoiding them until evening, it was everything Steve ever wanted.

As they removed Hubert's medals (well, ornaments, but there was apparently some lore, Hubert was an elderly gentleman with army commendations and maybe they could get a moustache ornament next year?) and Eddie solemnly announced it is now time to lay Hubert down to his yearly rest, Steve kissed Eddie goodbye and unwillingly made his way to the Harrington household. His parents were supposed to be back that day and he felt obliged to greet them, even though they were mostly strangers to each other these days.

His mother outdid herself, she actually embraced Steve and patted his back, like a real mather would. "So glad to be home, Steven. How were your holidays?" she asked and maybe she meant it, maybe not, but Steve couldn't care less.

He looked her right in the eye and smiled, unrestrained for the first time. "They were perfect."

#steddie fanfic #steddie #lexswinterficchallenge #Steve Harrington #Eddie Munson #Steddie Christmas

[wataksampingan]

Ch 87 is out on Webtoon Fast Pass and uh. Words.

(I need a spoiler warning banner gif or something. Anyway, spoilers galore)

As usual I have nothing that makes coherent sense or contains proper punctuation.

All I got is blubbering over how humble these two leads are and how much they doubt themselves in their pain and how much good they still do in spite of it and how many more chapters to go (even beyond That One Chapter I lost sleep over) before they fully realise how well they suit each other-

....okay before Perry realises how well they suit each other.

Also, I am dying to know her stepmother's deal. Clearly Count Zahardt wasn't perfect, but saying shit like "only the faint-hearted follow illusions"* is RICH coming from her when she attempted to achieve her goals (whatever those are) by poisoning her husband (an extremely untenable - thus illusory - method). In fact, all of Perry's childhood memories of her so far have been laced with some sort of strange edge, as if this woman has resented Perry from the beginning. I know money is a huge motive but is that the only driving force behind such hatred?

So what was it really? Jealousy over the previous Countess Zahardt? Resentment against Perry's father for his (according to her) overzealous charity and her greed for more? All of the above?

Perry sure got the brunt of it, considering this one single memory brings up doubts like:

1. If the countdom grew poorer because my father just kept helping others, then that means I could be the cause of the Lapileons' downfall too since they have been helping me constantly

2. Aren't I then also neglecting those around me, like my own countdom and my uncle? Also doesn't that mean just being here instantly brings more trouble to a place that already contends with so many other problems? Even Gloria doesn't live in the manor so as not to overburden their staff and supply run

3. Was my poor father such a fool as my stepmother said? Was the man I loved best in the world really so unworthy?

4. I'm also a fool to 'chase an illusion', to think that I could ever be capable enough to continue my parents' work and legacy when I can barely do anything on my own.

In Perry's mind, it doesn't matter how quickly she learned to help with the Lapileons' household paperwork, how much she's done to bring Celphi out from his shell and how well she manages herself in noble social circles, how she gave Saoirse reason to believe in others again, how she proved to Gloria that she was quick and justified at pointing out flaws in the staffing system of the family, how she essentially rescued Islette and probably countless others from Gen - how she constantly gives Theo reasons to live, rather than just exist.

All of that pales in comparison to watching Theo succeed at seemingly Everything, while she... doesn't. That perfectionist viewpoint that she arguably received from her stepmother makes her so vulnerable to this self doubt.

But now he's actually, and very rationally, putting things into perspective, not just to make her feel better but because it's all true. It's not his talent and discipline alone that sustains the Lapileon estate. He too has received much help, and crucially, while his grandfather was a complete monster, his grandmother, uncle and siblings weren't. Comparatively, Perry only has one trustworthy uncle and no such influence/power/wealth as the Lapileons. Implicitly, to have come this far on her own speaks volumes of her strength and courage (not that she would even notice it herself)

In any case, now not only is Theo capable and successful, he's proven himself humble (humble!), and clearly grateful for her by actually vocalising it.

I love this conversation so much because Theo is gentle without being patronising, and reasonable enough that Perry can't help but see the logic. He also seems to have learned from his previous fit of anger that this woman needs coaxing. She has trust issues as numerous as his own, so he can't brute force his way into her confidence.

But they are so similar, it's wonderful to see him immediately on the same page, immediately recognising her doubts because he's probably had similar thoughts growing up. He was made grand duke after his older brother died and sister incapacitated by grief. He too must live up to a legacy left behind by people he respects and loves. There are huge shoes to fill for him too.

Also:

You did this to yourself Pereshati LMAO

(forever laughing at how he was so focused on pouring out his true feelings to her that he went on auto pilot and won)

Oh oh, one more unrelated thing to yell fruitlessly into the ether:

ENGLISH BOOK PUBLICATION WHEN, WEBTOON?? KOREAN VOL. 3 IS ALREADY DUE ON THE 27TH!!

* I forgot this was a flashback to ep 31!!

...Lillian is still incredibly malicious and suspicious!!

#my in laws are obsessed with me #my in-laws are obsessed with me #MILAOWM #oh the incessant ramblings that happen each time a new chapter comes out #idk man #ugh this otp

[zhalfirin]

Hello there!

Every time i see one of your bound books, i just sit there with my jaw on the floor in awe. They look so stunning, everything is so cohesive, and your creativity amazes me every time 🥺💕

I'm about to fanbind my first work and I wanted to ask if you've got any tips or things you wish you'd have known earlier? Like, I know it's gonna be far from perfect and the process will probably be rather stressful for me (perpetually impatient perfectionist), but maybe you had a moment of "oh man this is so obvious, how could i go wrong there"?

I hope you're having a fantastic day, and I'm gonna admire your work a little more rn ✨😊

Hello and thank you so much. Reading your message definitely made my day <3

I'm very flattered you like my bindings and glad they feel cohesive. I'd love to say 'that's because I plan them so meticulously', but to be honest, I rarely know every detail of what I'll be doing for a bind when I start XD

Congratulations on the decision to jump down that rabbit hole!

Sadly, I can't really give hints on the purely self-taught approach, because I have indeed formal training and never had to find it all out by myself. There are great tutorials though and while some are really good and in depth from a professional perspective, they might be also difficult to follow for beginners when you still learn the terms for everything. Don't feel bad for starting with a tutorial you find easier to follow.

But still I can say, accept that you will make mistakes and there will be flaws. There will always be flaws or things you find you could improve on (at least in your eyes and even if no one else sees or cares for them). Don't be too hard on yourself when you make them. Take it as a lesson learned and a chance to improve.

Be as tidy and accurate in your work as you can. Your skill will improve and it will get easier to get the hinges right and corners neatly covered and all that.

Keep your work place clean (and a wet cloth and towel nearby to wipe your hands from glue frequently, that will help a lot with not getting stains on your book).

Don't be afraid to mark later covered parts of the book. Like, mark what side is front and what is up on the spine and on the case. Neither will be visible in the end and it really helps a lot. Still it happens that you case in upside down. So even with marking, double and triple check when you're about to do something that will be harder to correct later on. (Especially, make sure you gathered your sections correctly and all the pages are in the correct order and orientation before you sew!). Casing in upside down is annoying, but to be honest, it's not the end of the world and often an easier fix than the wrong order of pages or worse, a forgotten section!

I know its easy to want it all at once, high end materials, perfect typesets, immaculate bindings (I know I do), but give yourself the time to develop the skills needed, otherwise it can be very frustrating and might not give the joy one hoped for.

And finally, don't be afraid to ask questions! I find that most people (myself included) are open and willing to help if they can. I find the Renegade discord server to be a great community for that. A lot of people of all levels of skill and experience share their resources and knowledge and try to help each other there. (Be warned though, the server has grown intimidatingly huge, but still people try to help you from typesetting questions to fix printer issues to explain grain direction and how to build a case at pretty much every time of the day and night.)

They are also just generally nice and fun people and it's up to you if you prefer to lurk and learn or want to chat too.

I hope this helps a bit. Have a wonderful day yourself ^^

#bookbinding #zhalfirin answers #renegade publishing #fanbinding #having a message in my ask box makes me stupidly happy every time it happens XD

[sailor-aviator]

✨

Okay, so kind of a personal post, but I wanted to get my thoughts down, and I will end up deleting this later lol

For my whole life, I have loved books and stories. I have literally been writing stories since before I even knew how to read and write. Somewhere at home is a picture frame that my great-aunt put together of a drawing I made when I was like two or three, and it was a sloppy finger painting, but it's clear that it's meant to be two people and some kind of creature. And she typed up a caption for it, and I guess it was the description I had given her of what the painting was supposed to be.

"A prince saves a princess from the scary dragon, and they live happily ever after."

Not my best work, admittedly, but it's the first documented time of me making a story, and I looked at that picture frame with fondness. Who knows where it is now, probably tucked away in some box in the attack after my parents moved.

But, then I got super into writing in like the third grade when I came up with my first original story, and then my love for writing snowballed from there. I can't tell you how many stories would flit in and out of my brain over the years, but somehow I think y'all have an idea just based on the ideas I pitch on here. But, just know that the ones I put on here are only a fraction of the ones I come up with.

I don't know why I'm so in love with writing and stories exactly. Maybe it's the thrill of making my own worlds where my problems aren't so present and overwhelming, or maybe it's because I love to find the magic in different possibilities. That sounds kind of smarmy, doesn't it? But, I think it's still true.

But, something that's been part of my personal journey as of late is the idea of doing things for myself and not others. My whole life, I've been such a huge people pleaser, and now at my big age, I've decided that I don't want to live my life like that anymore, but I'm faced with the problem of: how do I stop?

I'll start off by saying that I love my parents a lot. They've made a lot of sacrifices for me and they do a lot for me, and I'm forever grateful to them. But whether they meant for it or not, there was a lot of pressure to be a certain thing growing up. I could have hobbies like writing, acting, painting, drawing, singing, etc. But I had to be realistic, and that meant that I wasn't allowed to pursue those things as my main goal. I had to find a way to stuff myself into the box of "STEM, business, or something that would make money." And I get why. Financially, life was rough for a really, REALLY long time growing up. Both of my parents came from households where their parents worked more than one job to make ends meet, and this was back in the 60s and 70s.

So, for most of my life, I allowed myself to have those hobbies, using them as an escape for the growing pressure I was feeling at needing to be "perfect" for my family. And that's just it. I was never "perfect" enough. I could have won first place at a tournament for speech and debate, and I would be given critiques on how I could have done better. They always told me they were proud of me, but the word "but" always came after their words of praise.

"You did such a good job, but..."

"That was really good, but..."

"It would have been even better if you just..."

I didn't hear the words "I'm proud of you" by themselves until I was 12 years old and it was from a family friend. I remember waiting for the "but" to come, and when it never did, I had to excuse myself to go cry in the bathroom.

So I escaped further into my little worlds, and sometimes I would share them with my friends who would always tell me that they loved my stories, but there was always the nagging feeling in the back of my head that they were lying. They had to say that because they were my friends, but also because the stories weren't...perfect.

I've always been a perfectionist, and it's something I'm learning to get over as time goes on. These past few months have been such a journey for me because I've been allowing myself to be bad at shit.

But then I started posting on here, and it made me feel so good to know that literal strangers thought my writing was good too. You guys didn't have to lie to me and tell me that it was, you genuinely thought my writing was great! And it makes me so happy! It refueled my love for writing, and I hope I can keep writing for years to come!

But I've also been telling my mom about all of this (leaving out the 18+ bits lol) and the other night she looked at me and asked me if I had considered actually getting a story published.

Now, this was a bit of a blow for me for a couple of reasons. Yes, I'm so happy that she's finally taking an interest and seeing how passionate I've always been about writing, but...

But why now? Are you asking me that because you genuinely think I'll get published, or are you asking me because you're hearing that people actually really appreciate my hobby and you think I can make money off it? Why are you suddenly so enthusiastic about something I've made clear that I always wanted to do?

Idk, I'm probably just overthinking the whole thing, and I know she's genuinely happy for me, but it still kind of heart. Yeah, the dream is to one day be a published author. It always has been, but who knows if I'll ever finish anything good enough to be published, ya know?

Anyway, if you stuck around this long you can breathe out a sigh of relief lol I'm done rambling and ranting for now. I'll get some of the updates out to you guys when I can

#personal #long post #y'all do NOT have to read this lol #I will more than likely delete this later #gonna start using this website as my diary lmaoooooo

[menkhu]

Are you playing in, or GMing any TTRPGs currently?

very yes to both! i'm gming two campaigns. it's less overwhelming than it sounds bc one is monthly rather than weekly. making the stories come to life has become one of my favorite things

i'm sort of playing in four campaigns right now? it's also not as overwhelming as it sounds; the group only meets once or twice per week. one of my gms got excited about a different campaign while gming the first so now we're swapping between the two campaigns when we finish each book. the gm for campaign three has been overwhelmed by Life™ recently so another gm stepped up to run what was conceived as a series of one-shots for when the others aren't able to run anything but we're currently on a pirate-themed (sort of) mini campaign so i'm counting it as campaign 4.

all are pathfinder, some 1e, some 2e. more about the particulars of each under the cut

the weekly campaign i run is hell's rebels! i play with kcvagabond, chromaticcarton, and two others who aren't on this site. we're about 3/4ths of the way through it. i was resistant to the idea of gming at first but a friend of mine who lives in another state was talking about how he missed playing ttrpgs and i wanted to change that but i wasn't going to ask anyone to do something i wasn't willing to do myself so i took the plunge and i'm so happy i did.

the monthly game i run is kingmaker and it's for a church group actually! i'm not really religious, just friends with the pastor who is a big fantasy nerd and has always wanted to play in a ttrpg. there are six players and i was nervous about managing such a big group, but they instantly had a great rapport and they put a lot of value in making sure everyone gets a say in decision making. we've only had 3 sessions but i'm loving it so far.

campaign 1 is strixhaven. my character is zefi (he/she/they) a fetchling champion of alseta who is perfectionistic and a people pleaser. alseta is the goddess of transgenders and also letting people do whatever they want so zefi's dogma, as they follow it, is basically being an enabler i love playing paladins that aren't lawful good

campaign 2 is rise of the runelords. my character, sylvie, is a human tower shield specialist who i min/maxed for ac. her concept is basically she's a teenage girl. she's brilliant except for when she's stupid. she's cool except for when she's not. she painted purple stripes on her shield with nail polish. her closest friends in the world are a geriatric scholar and the orphans she babysits il ove her

campaign 3 is homebrew, possibly taking some cues from extinction curse? i play lee, a human bard who ran away from the pressures of noble society to join a circus. massive nerd. his muse is the heroine of his favorite adventure novels. he didn't realize he was nearsighted until he tried on a pair of glasses while looking for circus disguises. his initials are lol. il ove him

campaign 4 is also homebrew. i call it sort of pirate themed because the gm defines pirates as sailors on adventures. knowing the gm it's probably one piece inspired although i'm not familiar enough to say for sure. good cartoony fun. my character is aven (he/they) a suli oracle. he's the least evil of his party which is saying something because he can get pretty bitchy. pf2e oracles are a huge chronic illness mood; using certain abilities advances their curses and the only way to reset and recover is by resting which i think is pretty neat. he's a lot of fun to play

#hehehehe tyy i love talking about ttrpgs it is my second favorite thing to playing ttrpgs #i tried to be brief i really did

[randoimago]

Hi! I'm a huge fan of your work and I've been sending anon requests for a while, but I had this idea and I thought you'd like it!

What about an M9 and Essek x reader (preferably platonic) where the reader loves to bake and decorate pastries for the group as a way to relax and calm down after trips or a particularly difficult days events?

With a Reader That Bakes for the Group

Fandom: Critical Role

Characters: Beauregard Lionett, Caduceus Clay, Caleb Widogast, Essek Theylss, Fjord, Jester Lavorre, Veth Brenatto, Yasha Nydoorin

Type of Request: Headcanons, Platonic

Notes: Aw thank you so much! This is a very cute idea and I’ll do my best to write it for you!!

Mighy Nein (and Essek)

Beau definitely sneaks bites of raw cookie dough or finger fulls of icing (she washes her hands first). Might complain that you’re trying to ruin her physique with your baking, but she loves it.

Caduceus enjoys making tea to go with your baked goods. He has a lot of knowledge of which types of tea goes best with what kind of sweet you make. Does his best to stay out of your way since it’s difficult to find big kitchens that’ll be available to use.

Caleb isn’t really a sweets person, but if you baked bread then he’ll gladly sample some. Definitely has some bittersweet memories of some treats you make as it reminds him of things his parents would bake, but he still thanks you for doing this.

Essek is also not really a sweets person, but he’ll do his best to help decorate. Art isn’t really his forte, but it is kind of funny how much of a perfectionist he is when it comes to decorating cookies or cake.

Fjord feels so guilty eating your baked goods. They taste so good, but he has enough trouble with Veth teasing about his lack of muscles. Still eats it because he can’t let your talent go to waste.

Jester absolutely loves the fact that you bake! Even if you’re all in the middle of traveling she’d ask if you could make her a very specific type of cupcake. Probably has some kind of recipe book somewhere for you or she’d ask if you could make the most crazy types of sweets for her (and the others, but mostly for her).

Veth would make requests if you could add alcohol to any of your baking. Not too much, but just a tad. She’s heard that cooking with alcohol is a thing, so maybe you could replace some milk with whiskey. There’s hardly a difference in her mind.

Yasha is constantly surprised by what baked good she likes. At first she didn’t really have an opinion on cookies or biscuits or whatnot, but she’s constantly finding a new favorite from your baking.

#asexual-mess-and-stuff #critical role x reader #caduceus clay x reader #caduceus x reader #caleb widogast x reader #essek thelyss x reader #essek x reader #fjord x reader #jester lavorre x reader #jester x reader #beau x reader #platonic x reader #veth brenatto x reader #veth x reader #yasha nydoorin x reader #yasha x reader #beauregard lionett x reader

[lyferifaes]

hey there stranger.

i realise i am probably too late for the game, and you're probably inactive, but i pray this message reaches you in good health and best intention. i have been following your writings, and i wish to tell you how much i appreciate your work. i admire your writing style, it is ebbing with your passion and love for the anime, and every chapter shatters my soul and weakens my wrists. it takes great talent to dedicate so much research, time, and effort to write an post-canon fix it in such beautiful shape and form and i wish you knew how much your writing has inspired me.

i love dororo, in ways you can imagine. it saved my life, and it's undoubtedly the best anime i have ever watched, not only with it's heavy symbolism and top-tier storywriting, but also the characters and fights have been orchestrated so splendidly. i decided to write a fanfiction myself, but hesitated to press a single letter because i was afriad i might ruin in a perfectly good show. it's already perfect as it is, i would think. and in all my time i haven't seen someone articulate and describe each characters' stories, agony, anguish, and depth as much as you do. not to mention your art work in beyond astonishing. believe me when i dropped my jaw seeing your work. i want to learn a lot from you.

remember when munetsuna wished that he was to craft a katana so powerful that it would stop wars? that people would be so astonished by the sword, then would surrender? you are that sword. you have such great potential in you, and pardon my poor phrasing, as i am a novice writer and a mere admirer, i wish to learn a lot from you. im not exaggerating at all when i say that your works bring me to my knees. i am in love. truly. i apologize in advance, but i cried after i read the first chapter. it moved me that much.

if you were to write a book, please let me be one of the first few readers. i will support you with everything i got. i don't say this to pressure you, i simply wish you know how grateful i am to have found your work.

there are no questions.

thank you so much. thank you.

Wow. I'm speechless. You know, this is probably one of the best and warmest feelings in the world—no, not to receive a compliment, and not to feel proud and pleased with myself (vanity never does you any good and I try not to get carried away), but to meet a soul resonating with mine—at least in one way, at this moment—to be able to feel so deeply everything I've put into this story and enjoy it. A perfectionist that I am, I always wanted to create something that everybody would like, until I realized that popularity is nothing, just numbers. But to reach even one person's heart is what truly matters to me. Meeting that person is like meeting a friend, such crossing of the paths is always a miracle of sorts. So let me give you at least a virtual hug! 🤗

I'm sorry for the late reply, I don't check my tumblr often lately as you can see, not because I've moved on or lost interest though. I hope I never really move on from Dororo, at least not until this fic is finished. And even then Dororo will remain a huge part of me. But yeah, I switch a lot between things (not fandoms though—enough is enough 😅), various things I write. I really hope to finish at least one of them and publish a book one day, and if it happens, I'll gladly send you one of the first copies! Haha although it may not happen before we all turn very old, I'm afraid, since as you can see I am a veeery sloooow writer. Also, it will be in my native language 😅 (writing in English was an experiment at first, a challenge to myself, and I admit there will be times when I regret putting myself through this lol)

May I ask you something, too? Please, don't hesitate to press letters, write! Just start and let your worlds take shape, let them be born. I was inspired a lot by the authors I admired, many of them are ficwriters, I've taken a lot from them. I'm happy if it's now my turn to pass some of that inspiration further. Really, really happy. 💖

#ask #dororo fanfiction #dororo #checking tumblr before sleep to find this #and end up ditching the sleep #because all the feels T_T

[glass-onion-soup]

Thanks for this long, thoroughly considered ask. I think you're completely on the money on both points here, that John continued to abandon Julian because it was too uncomfortable to make the effort, and that his Bermuda trip might have been a turning point that made him re-assess his first father-son relationship. I'll explain why I agree tho.

Re: John's comfort zone - I think his "what can ya do?" abandonment of Julian had two factors to it. The first was shame, and his shame-based self hate. John was a classic example of a "thwarted perfectionist" thanks to Mimi's emotionally incestuous and narcissistically stifling upbringing. If you can't do something perfect immediately, there's no point in doing it at all, otherwise you will be subject to ridicule and abuse. Thwarted perfectionists often check out and either don't finish/start projects, or engage in performative self sabotage (John was more of the latter, though he evolved into the former for a while in his 30's). I think his attitude with Julian was "I already fucked this up, I fucked it up right away, there is no fixing it because I was destined to be bad at it, etc". This might not have even been on a fully conscious level, but I can't imagine seeing or thinking about Julian made him feel very good about himself. It was psychologically easier to start with a new kid and do it "right" from the beginning this time instead of fixing what you already broke. In this psychological frame of mind, raising Sean can also simultaneously become redeeming the fuck up with Julian (symbolically; this still left Julian out in the cold). John seemed to view going back to Yoko in 75 in general as an act of maturity based on insight over how he let his first two "marriages" (Cyn, and Lennon-McCartney) fall apart as soon as they got difficult. I would disagree with this personally lol, but if he were talking about anything BUT his codependent relationship with Yoko he'd be totally correct. Like, the sentiment is not wrong, and it says a lot about where his head was.

The other factor is, as you implied, John's belief that he lacked personal agency. This reinforced his thwarted perfectionism, bc the mental hurdle to even imagine himself being able to fix something he broke was too powerful when he was languishing in learned helplessness. It's no accident that the only time he made real overtures to Julian after leaving Cyn was during a period when he was highly productive in a creative sense (and playing a leadership role in many of his creative endeavours to boot) and with a woman who, while she did get sucked into mothering him quite a bit, encouraged him to take risks and uh, like, go outside and shit.

I'm mostly just fleshing out what you've said here with more psychological detail because I think you already hit the key insight: his experience sailing to Bermuda was a huge turning point re: his self perception wrt personal agency. The big elephant in the room, however, is Yoko. It didn't take long for John to start opening himself up a few inches to Cyn and Jules after breaking with Yoko in the mid-70's; it was her who had the zero sum game attitude wrt his first family (which he, don't get me wrong, absolutely went along with at the time, he was so determined and desperate to "break" with his old life; Yoko's "cut everyone out" rhetoric was a useful mental tool and excuse for him). I think the fact that 'Double Fantasy' was originally supposed to be a John-only project that Yoko shouldered her way into indicates that he hadn't actually reclaimed or fully integrated this newfound sense of agency at the time of his death, but the attitude he fostered there hadn't gone away.

So yeah: if John had been able to nurture that positive feeling, if he and Yoko went their separate ways, if he had been able to go back to England and reconnect with his old circle of family and friends, I think it's probably true that he would at least tried to make things right by with Jules (and maybe even Cynthia, but lets not get too crazy here).

As for what it might have looked like, it's difficult to know tbh. I do think that John was one of those people who just had a hard time relating to small children because they couldn't discourse on an adult level (tho notably he was better with young girls than boys). Re-connecting with Julian as a teen/adult who was capable of interacting more as a peer than a dependent probably would do a lot to radically reframe their relationship and give John points of reference and enthusiasm to engage with him. Likely this would have primarily happened through music. However based on observation of similar situations irl, I think there probably would have always been a wedge of distrust present as often happens with adult children of highly irresponsible parents. What I'm saying is that I believe they could have or would have become friends, maybe even close friends, but I don't believe they ever would have become "father and son".

#my boyband bias john lennon #analysis #asks

[justsome-di]

How have you managed to update neud every week?

It's a combination of a lot of things!

How To Manage Schedules for Long Project

Advice by me, someone who has done this once and is totally an expert (/sarcasm)

Write in advance

Get a lot of the writing done before you start posting anything. For NEUD, I wrote the whole of draft one, then edited it to get to draft two which meant filling out every section that was incomplete, adding/removing chapters to make the plot move fairly well. Draft three is what's available now. I spent a week working on a chapter and then it gets posted on Friday (I worked ahead to get all of draft three up on Patreon early, so I'm not in this editing process anymore, but this is what it was like for a while). It's not impossible to write a chapter from scratch before each upload if you're on a weekly schedule, but you'll probably be battling burnout and you won't be giving yourself much of a safety net for any issues with the plot/writer's block/etc. This advice might seem kinda obvious, but I did try writing as I was uploading on a now-abandoned project, and it wasn't great! This also helps you stay motivated even if you're not getting notes/comments at first (and you may not). You'll have it all written out and all you have to do is press post.

Be okay with it not being perfect

There are a lot of parts of NEUD that I'm not happy with. But if I had waited for NEUD to be up to a grand, golden standard--it would have never made it online. Publishing a web novel, imo, allows for more amateur mistakes. You don't have an editing team like you would at a publishing house. Especially with a project like NEUD--a romance novel--I felt a little less pressure. I wasn't writing War and Peace. I want it to be good, but I tried not to be too much of a perfectionist. And the thing is, you're going to be unhappy with parts that other people really like. You're seeing your work in a different way than your readers. There are parts of NEUD that I honestly don't like, but it's one of those things that it just has to be done. A bad chapter doesn't make a bad book. Just try making sure there are as few grammatical errors or spelling mistakes as possible. You can use software like Grammarly to help catch mistakes you're inevitably going to miss.

Plan ahead and pace yourself

Make out your schedule before you start posting. Think about what days work best for you. Write down what dates you'll post on a little in advance and don't try tackling your schedule in one night. It'll take time to plan how you want to execute everything. I made a mistake here! I wish I hadn't chosen Fridays to post! I work every other Friday, and my homework is always due on Fridays. There would be other days that worked better for me, and in the future, I'm going to consider that for upcoming projects. You can also use queues or scheduled posts to ease the workload if you have chapters ready in advance.

Take breaks

Go on hiatus every now and again. Take time to relax and work on other hobbies. This is important especially if you have other commitments like school or a job that gets busy at certain times of the year. If you're using Patreon, you can suspend payments a month at a time.

Don't get discouraged

Disclaimer: not that many people have read NEUD. But I really am appreciative of every single person who has let me know they read it because I really wasn't expecting anyone to look at it at all! Projects posted online are often overlooked and get buried under the mountain of WIPs everyone is working on. Having someone read your project is a big honor because they're volunteering their time and attention! And everyone is busy, so really even if one person is leaving a like--that's a huge accomplishment! I don't buy into the "likes don't do anything" mantra that started being spread on this site. Likes are important! They're cool! Enjoy your likes! Reblogs don't guarantee that more people are going to look at your thing, honestly. Of course, reblogs are neat because they do raise the chances of your project being seen, but I also don't think anyone is entitled to having their project reblogged. People can post whatever they want on their blogs. If they don't want my amateur project there, that's fine! But I also understand when you've poured hours into something and you get about three notes. It feels bad. But don't let it get you down. Sometimes it just takes a while for people to find your project or find the time to read it. You never know if someone has the link open in a new tab on their laptop or is following your blog, waiting for more chapters to be uploaded so they can read a substantial chunk later. Just because something didn't get notes in the first hour that you posted doesn't mean it'll never be seen by anyone ever again. I know a lot of times that's how social media is made out to be, but you should never feel like you've lost an audience because you posted when people are sleeping/working/just not on their phones.

That's all I can really say :) Just stay positive and think ahead. It's not an easy thing to do but if you just set aside time once you're done writing and get your ducks in a row, you should be able to manage it bit-by-bit.

And mini self-promo, you can check out Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs every Friday on this blog, on Wattpad, AO3, or my Patreon (where chapters are made public every week).

Check it out if you'd be interested in a romance about a sex worker and a client who met through a prank, now fake-dating as revenge against the men who set them up.

#writblr #writeblr #writing advice #original writing #creative writing #web novels

[marvelous-harry]

Snapshots from The Grammys 2023

Harry/Florence/Reader

"You're so pretty!" I gushed as I reached out and stroked the crystal-covered jumpsuit. "I want one. It can be my birthday present," I grinned.

Harry chuckled. "Yeah, you're not getting a Swarovski crystal jumpsuit for your birthday," he said and took my hand.

I hummed and looked through the car window. We were in line and we were slowly getting closer to the red carpet. "Can I hold the Grammys after you've finished with the press and stuff? I want a picture with them," I asked and looked back at Harry.

"I'm probably not going to win any. The people I'm nominated with... yeah, there's no way," Harry replied and smiled.

"Don't say that, you have just as good of a chance at winning. You've done so many good things in the last year and I know that people will see that," Florence said and looked at him pointedly.

"I'm just grateful that I was even nominated. That itself is such a huge honour," he said, looking over at Florence.

"It is but I have a very good feeling that there will be more than one Grammy on that shelf when we get back home," she smiled and gave him a kiss on the lips.

"And then I can hold them all. Right?" I asked with a grin. "They're so cute and tiny,"

Harry and Flossie laughed. "Yeah, you can take a picture with them if you want, babe," Harry agreed and smiled.

Harry/Ben/Oliver

"Oh gosh, here we go," Ben said as he looked up at the TV in the green room Harry's team and he and Oliver were in. It was time for Harry to perform and they were all super excited. Poor Harry had been so nervous before going on but everyone reassured him he would do great.

Oliver took Ben's hand and squeezed it. "They've been practicing all week, they got this," He told him and smiled at him.

The music started and everyone was glued to the TV as the camera zoomed in on Harry and the dancers.

Oliver frowned slightly as he looked at it. "Isn't it supposed to go the other way?" he asked as he watched Harry on the turntable.

Ben squeezed his hand tightly. "Oh no," he whispered. He couldn't look away.

They were managing it very well considering they had to do everything in reverse of what they had practiced. Harry only had a small hiccup as he tripped slightly but quickly found his balance again.

Everyone in the room clapped and cheered as Harry took his bow. It had gone well.

Ben and Oliver stood up and waited for Harry to return, both wondering how he was feeling after that knowing that he was a perfectionist when it came to his work.

Not too long after Harry and Jeff came into the room and everyone clapped and cheered again.

Harry waved his hand at them before he started taking off his mic pack.

Oliver put his hand on Ben's lower back and walked towards Harry. "You did so good, love," he told him as they got close to him.

Harry shook his head and kept trying to get the in ears wire out from his outfit, getting more and more frustrated.

"Let's go into your dressing room," Ben said and accepted the hanger with Harry's suit on it before they ushered Harry into the dressing room.

"It went the wrong way! And it was awful. I just embarrassed myself in front of god knows how many people," Harry bit down on his lip hard and tried to undo the zipper on his back.

"Hey, it's okay. That's not true. You did so amazing, I'm sure no one watching would even know it went the wrong way. You all handled it like it was no big deal and it was supposed to go that way," Oliver told him as he cupped Harry's face in his hands and made him look up at him.

"I want to watch it," Harry whispered.

Ben started unzipping the jumpsuit. "Of course we can watch it but not right now. You need to get out of this, eat something, and then get back into your suit,"

Oliver smiled and nodded, holding Harry's hand so he was steady while Ben undressed him.

"Not hungry," Harry replied, his tone short and sharp.

Oliver leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You're eating,"

Erica/Harry

All eyes were on Trevor as the video ended and he started speaking. Erica was clutching her hands tightly together.

"And the Grammy goes to.." she glanced over at Harry and saw that he was just staring straight ahead. She reached out and put a hand on his thigh and gave it a little squeeze.

Trevor looked around before walking over to the older woman. "You can read it," he tells her and shows her the envelope, and holds the mic to her mouth.

Erica gasped and turned to look over at Harry as she listened to her announce the winner. "Ha-Ha-Harry Styles!"

Erica's eyes filled with tears as she stood up and started clapping, watching as Harry put his head in his hands in shock. Everyone around stood up as well and started cheering.

Harry stood up as well and received hugs from the others around their table before he looked at Erica.

Erica brought him in for a tight hug. "I'm so fucking proud of you, love you," she told him before giving him a kiss. Harry had yet to say anything but the look in his eyes was more than enough to tell her how he was feeling. "Go get your Grammy, mister album of the year," Erica grinned and cupped his face - giving him yet another kiss.

Harry cleared his throat and did his best to blink away the tears before he started making his way up to the stage.

Erica let out a long breath and dabbed at her eyes with a napkin.

It was quite easy to see that Harry was very overwhelmed as he accepted his award and walked over to the mic. "Shit," he said as he looked down at the Grammy.

Erica grinned and put her hands on her chest as she looked at him, almost feeling like her heart was about to burst through her chest with pride and love. She could not wait till they finally had a private moment so she could really congratulate him.

#harry/florence/reader #harry/ben/oliver #harry/oc!erica #harry/erica #oc!erica

[essektheylyss]

im going a little crazy but huuuuuuge respect gained for you (and all writers, really) im taking a short story class and im fighting for my life out here. deadlines today so it probably won’t matter that much but how do you not despise what youre writing while writing. drawing’s like ok yea ok this is fine but writing. oh my god. :(

Hello! Deadlines are the worst, so sending some solidarity. (Also huge respect for you as an artist! I tend to feel the opposite—I can usually find some reason to keep a piece of writing but the number of times I want to kick a drawing to the curb entirely is HIGH.)

This is a really hard hurdle to get past though, and I don't think there's really a point where any writer always clears it. I recall, if I remember correctly, a pretty prolific writer (possibly Neil Gaiman but don't quote me on that) telling a story about how they had gotten like 60% done on a draft, called up their editor, and went, "This is crap, I'm giving up and moving onto something else, or better yet I'm never writing again," and the editor with utter chill went, "Oh, you're at that point in the writing process. It's fine, keep going." And the writer was gobsmacked to discover this had happened frequently enough that the editor recognized it.

In any case, I do actually have one trick for this, which helps me a lot! This got long and possibly overly extrapolated, so I'm putting it under a cut:

A lot of writing advice focuses on the timeless but, imo, useless mantra of, "Write the bad first draft because you can't edit a blank page." This is useless because it does nothing to tell you how to live with the shit draft, which is hard and discouraging for continuing with the draft, and also, if you're taking one writing course among many courses, you don't have time to labor over a piece in editing for months. Plus, especially with shorter pieces, I don't find laborious editing useful, especially if you're a perfectionist or worried about whether it's good. (Nothing kills my productivity like long-term editing; hence my current suffering, but sometimes it can't be helped.)

HOWEVER, my trick is this: do not focus on quality at all. "Good" is so subjective, and you can drive yourself crazy trying to achieve it. This is of course easier said than done, but what is easier is replacing it with something. I approach everything (whole pieces, individual scenes, bits of dialogue that I want to burn with fire) by asking myself what I am setting out to accomplish with that bit of writing, and then I evaluate or write it by deciding how that could be accomplished.

This could just be what your assignment is (though I find that a bit broad), or what theme or message you want to convey by the end (though I find that getting this specific is kind of stifling and often a bit too nebulous for me, which negates the point of the exercise). What I've found most helpful especially in writing short stories is to decide what emotion I want a piece to make people feel. That way, if I feel like it's crap partway through, I have a really specific way to evaluate it when I read it back; I can go look at other books or stories that make me feel the way I'm trying to make other people feel; and it's a much easier target for both large and small edits than, "Is it good?"

This also really helps my perfectionism, because it doesn't require it to be the best possible way to accomplish the goal—it just has to accomplish the goal itself. There's a lot less qualitative value being placed on it. Some of my writing that other people have liked the most have been things I thought weren't great, but I read it back and decided it accomplished what I wanted it to do regardless of my feelings about its quality, so I posted or submitted it, and it got the reaction I wanted it to.

And being able to hit those targets consistently is definitely a product of years of practice—which brings me to the one other goal that I find useless: having specific publication or posting goals. I spent basically all of my teenage/college years going, "This is Not Good but it's just practice." (My screenwriting professor did think I was crazy for writing so much as practice when I couldn't use the products as samples for various reasons, but good god am I a better writer for it.) I have written short stories for specific themed anthology calls and the worst thing I can do when I'm writing those is to put my goal down as getting accepted to the anthology, because I do the same thing that you're describing and freeze up while I'm writing it.

And your goal might not be a specific emotion—if you like writing to theme or message, do that! If all of that's too limiting to your creativity, focus on the point of the assignment and write to that! And if you don't know what goal to set at all on projects you're doing for practice, you can think of a piece of writing that makes you feel or think something that you thought was great, and evaluate it for why it achieved that, then try to hit that benchmark. Kind of the writing equivalent of artists practicing a specific artist's style while developing their own. (Needless to say, but since I'm saying this publicly, don't try to copy style too closely, and definitely don't plagiarize, both because it's shitty and also because your teacher's plagiarism checker is likely to catch it even if the teacher doesn't.)

Also, obligatory "your mileage may vary"—I am sure this will not work for all writers, and plenty of pantsers will be scandalized by the suggestion of thinking about an end goal before starting, but I really like having the benchmark and find focusing on that the most useful thing I can do when I'm stuck or discouraged, and find that it genuinely improves my writing because it means it's more cohesive in the end.

#best of luck on your piece today! I'm sorry this is a bit late lol i just ended up in a long and engaging discussion with my boss lol #like. shot the shit for two hours of the morning level of chatting lol #ANYWAY i do really live and die by this particular approach so it's possible it could help you! #megs is writing #cuz i... should use that tag when i said i was gonna use it lol

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

I'm sooo excited to get jin back (preemptive I know), and I feel like it will be really interesting to see how jin handles being the sole bts representative for a number of months. Obviously we've seen him as the eldest of the group, but since he went to ms first and will be back first it will be a chance to see the spotlight really on him as he leads the way through the end of chapter 2. We've rarely seen the spotlight on him as an artist or as a leader. He's sort of going to be the one setting the stage for chapter 3. Also, I'm not totally sure how big of a creative direction role he's having in his upcoming album since it seems there's a quick timeline planned on it and it might already be prepared (?), but if he does have a role in it I'm really interested to see how he thinks through it. I might be the most interested in what project he puts out just because I truly don't know what it will be like. He (and sometimes jimin, but maybe more in a perfectionist way) has been the most insecure in terms of his creative output so I will be absolutely thrilled when a full project comes out and he gets to see the response

I'm really excited for Jin coming back too, but it's not about his music haha. I just really need his energy. He and JK are the number 1 Army lovers. JK is always talking about us, going live for us, doing things for us, and Jin is the same, but his energy is completely different. JK is sweet and romantic, very honest and real with us, and treat us like close friends and lovers (with intimacy I mean!), while Jin teases us a lot and tries to always be strong, cheerful, reliable. His presence is so comforting and safe because he doesn't really let himself be sad or vulnerable outside of music, so he's always funny, supportive of the members, doing everything he can to keep us happy and entertained. I really need his good vibes. BTS doesn't feel like BTS right now. It's hard to remember BTS is a group and not a bunch of soloists. I know people always say there's no BTS without RM (true!) because he's the leader, but I think Jin and Hobi, as the mood makers of the group (+ Army), contribute a lot to the group's dynamic. I don't think RM being here or in the military is going to change anything right now, but imo Jin and Hobi coming back is going to make BTS feel like BTS again. Maybe it's because Jin was the first to leave so his return means the end of enlistment era, but I think it's more than that. He and Hobi are an embodiment of what is special about BTS and their dynamic - it's the energy, humor, playfulness, creativity, comfort, dependability (they're the most active members on Weverse, and Hobi used to be on IG a lot), etc. I don't know how to explain it haha.

So yeah, I really need Jin to come back and heal our fandom. I think he'll have a huge role in uniting us. In that way, I guess he'll have a bit of a leadership role.

As for music, so far Jin has written all of his solo songs (except Yours, which is a drama OST, and Epiphany, though he wrote a demo). After what happened with V and Jungkook, I guess we can't say for sure if he'll write his own album, particularly since he'll be pressed to put out something fast as well as shoot different content and prepare himself to be an idol again... But I'm sure he'll call the shots on most things anyway. Jin is very involved and I think everything he'll do when he returns will be for us, so he'll be very careful about the content he puts out. I can't know what his album will sound like, but I also can't imagine any big surprises. He'll want something bright and cheerful, but probably will deliver some powerful ballads too. Maybe he'll pull a Hobi and show a whole different side of himself, but that doesn't seem like Jin's thing, and I doubt he'll have time to reinvent himself straight out of the military.

Thanks for the ask!

#ask #bts #jin #text #I miss jin #thanks for the ask!

[that-gay-jedi]

I feel like a loser for being upset abt this buuut months ago I told a friend of mine who paints that I wish I had their talent and they gave me this huge ass lecture about how it's not innate talent, it's practice, and I didn't say anything at the time but I'd literally forgotten there are even people who believe any meaningful degree of innate talent exists and when I use the word I mean it in the sense of like "I wish I'd had the amount of organic practice you appear to have had" and sadness that since such things were forbidden in my house growing up I never had a chance to get good at them.

And that same person had spent months trying to help me train myself not to be excessively cautious choosing my words and they constantly indicated a desire for me to censor myself less around them but then the first time I say something that can be read in a remotely offensive way they knee jerk it straight to fucksville so now I'm in like full autistic perfectionist mode going welp I should probably agonize over how I word things for 3x as long as I currently do so that I don't get hurt like that again bc clearly when people say they don't want me to be relentlessly careful they're lying.

The worst part though is they're also autistic and in much more of the stereotypical "says blunt things" way than I am and they're somewhat insecure about it too so like they literally did that despite being able to relate so hard to being on the other side of it and it's made like a noticeable dent in how much I'm able to relax masking in front of other autistic people I know and trust.

[cleversteel]

deep character dive!!

tagged by: i'm stealing this from dewa but let's be real all of dash is doing it LMAO tagging: :eyephidel: (that means you)

NAME: COLM ALAN JUSTUS (haha i'm cringe lol)

BODY

height: 175cm / 5′9

strength ★★☆☆☆ (if you've played ss ykw i mean)

dexterity ★★★★★ (THIEF TIME BAYBEEEEEEEEE)

health ★★★★☆ (when you grow up without any confections and then go to school with tons of rich folks to steal from-)

energy ★★★★★★ (through the ROOF [especially on caffeine])

beauty ★★★☆☆ (he ain't got w rizz but he ain't bad-looking ykyk?)

style ★★☆☆☆ (has eyeballs but also grew up poor and would wear just about anything that looks nice on its own)

hygiene ★★★★☆ (see the above but also his mother was like. an apothecary so he ain't that bad)

SKILLS

perception ★★★★★ (points at his personal skill.)

communication ★★★☆☆ (smth smth BRAT!!!)

persuasion ★★★☆☆ (see the above)

mediation ★☆☆☆☆ (smth smth CHILD (derogatory)!!! only skill is confusing people into not fighting anymore)

literacy ★★★★☆ (i went into it in a headcanons post but he's literate. his mother taught him [hc] and after the joining the army? bro read that letter kyle sent i believe in bro :pray:)

creativity ★★★★★ (points at him)

cooking ★★☆☆☆ (not a chef but he can make it edible!!)

tech savvy ★★★★☆ (thief boy momence :sunglasses::sparkles:)

combat ★★★☆☆ (it's all in the FLICK O' THE WRIST!!!!)

survival ★★★★★ (points at him. also lark.)

stealth ★★★★★ (lying is something else, but he's pretty good at being stealthy :sparkles:)

street smarts ★★★★★ (poor)

seduction ☆☆☆☆☆ (loser /j)

luck ★★★★★ (WHAT THAT LUCK STAT DO KING :PRAY: [but also lark. that's a huge piece of evidence for.])

handling animals ★☆☆☆☆ (i feel like ranger!neimi's horse would eat his rat tail while he isn't looking. would probably eat sh*t and fall off his own horse smh :facepalm:)

pacifying children ★★★☆☆ (in a 'i will distract them from sadness! >:0' kinda way. it's only kinda effective.)

MIND

intelligence ★★★☆☆ (not stupid, but he has some pretty dumb ideas :P)

happiness ★★★★☆ (no neimi :[)

spirituality ★☆☆☆☆ (he knows about the gods of magvel. doesn't really care for them tho)

confidence ★★★★★★★ (someone stop him PLEASE)

humor ★★★★☆ (is just naturally humorous to be around, and when he makes an actual joke? hoo boy i love this kid)

anxiety ★☆☆☆☆ (would be lower but neimi :[. also lloyd exists. shout-out to my homie lloyd every time i try to steal something o7)

patience ★★★★★ (impatience begets getting CAUGHT LIKE A LITTLE LOSER (stealing) LMAOOOOOOO)

passion ★★★★☆ (ah, the passion of youth. he's gotta life left to live and he hasn't gotten old like Teach [read: Python] yet)

nice         ☆★☆☆☆     mean (you've seen him around lloyd right? also rennac.)

brave       ★☆☆☆☆     cowardly (he went out of his way to rob a professional bandit crime ring thing for his bestie's hand mirror. it had a TON of sentimental value of course, but like. yo. you coulda died, my g.)

pacifist     ☆★☆☆☆     violent (not an super violent person, but he's not opposed when times call for it.)

thoughtful ☆☆☆☆★    impulsive  (points at him [when he's around pelleas specifically])

agreeable ☆★☆☆☆     contrary (would be more agreeable but [looks at class])

idealistic   ★☆☆☆☆     pragmatic (ah, the optimism of youth.)

frugal        ★☆☆☆☆     big spender (poor)

extrovert   ★☆☆☆☆     introvert (ah, the- no he's just obnoxiously out there LMAO)

collected   ☆☆☆☆★     wild (see the above)

ambitious / possessive / stubborn / jealous / decisive / perfectionist <- (ah, the- you get the joke at this point.)

SOCIAL

charisma ★★★★☆ (he's pretty charismatic i'd say!! most people like him pretty easily :])

empathy ★★★★★ (he cares!! he's just kinda an idiot)

generosity ★★★★☆ (he's a thief, but also [gestures at his post-boel interactions + pelleas ball interaction])

wealth ★☆☆☆☆ (thief)

honest   ★★☆☆☆ deceptive (good, honest kid! also he sucks at lying but yk being a thief/spy calls for it [he still sucks tho])

leader   ☆★☆☆☆   follower (trying to carve his own space! but not really good at leading)

polite     ☆☆★☆☆  rude (poor + looks at lloyd)

political ☆☆☆☆★  indifferent (bro i just want to rob people)

BELIEFS

higher power ★★★★★ (i mean he and The Squad killed Fomortiis that's basically the same thing)

fate/destiny ☆☆☆☆☆ (bro he's just tryna live)

magic ★★★★★ (sir, this a fire emble

soulmates ★☆☆☆☆ (only cuz neimi exists, otherwise it'd be all ☆)

good and evil ★★★★★ (HE KILLED THAT THING OF COURSE IT- urgh. wait-)

luck ★★★★★ (WHAT THAT LUCK STAT DO KING-

PRIORITIES

family ★★☆☆☆ (lark)

friends ★★★★☆ (not in a 'i want to make as many friends as possible!' kinda way, but in a 'i wanna be the best friend can be' kinda way. since that's sorta all he has left, isn't it?)

love ★☆☆☆☆ (until neimi appears :distressed_colm:)

home ★★☆☆☆ (lark)

health ★★★☆☆

praise ★★☆☆☆ (smth smth the formative years :oldplead:)

justice ★★★★☆ (ignore all his stealing tho pls and thank u)

truth ★☆☆☆☆ (i miss my wife tails. i miss her so badly. [king, write a letter smh :facepalm:])

power ★☆☆☆☆ (he helped beat up the LITERAL DEMON KING!!!! he doesn't need much more than that i assure you)

fame ★☆☆☆☆ (brags like hell but would rather be with neimi than a super cool army guy so. yeah.)

wealth ????? (...sure???? but he just kinda steals what he wants/needs anyways so.......)

others' opinions ★★★☆☆ (smth smth THE FORMATIVE YEARS :PRAY:)

#[‘i didn’t steal anything. seriously!’] (ooc) #[‘some of us don’t know anything other than a thief’s life.’] (meta content) #// whew this took a while but it was a fun time!! #// colm is sorta like the middle child of my muses (lin always gets everything first and valter is valter) #// so i wanted to start with him first for once :oldplead: #// anyways shout out to the homies who were featured on this post y'all the real ones :pray: