#I'll let her do anything she wants

[sharkface-daydreams]

If you feel like it, Tex for blorbity bleebity?

agent Texas 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

she is the lady ever

her complex bisexual vibes have completely enthralled me. she's competent and hot and has a mischievous streak and she's exes with a guy she never dated and loves to goof around and gets thrashed by the narrative and all i want for her is to escape and find the ending SHE wants you know. it is time for Tex to decide things for Tex.

everyone she meets gets a love hate complex about her. she's so much better than you you want to BE her you want to be WITH her you want to be her friend her rival the person you compare yourself to she's an asshole she was just fucking with you the whole time you'll let her steal the brownie off your tray you can't help it but you'll arm wrestle her for it even though it's a lost cause

i would also like her to go on a date with me if she wants to and is free Thursday when i am also free to go on a date with me maybe 👉👈 drinks are on me 🖤🖤🖤

#listen i UNDERSTAND why Church is obsessed with her ok i GET it #she's everything to me #I'll let her do anything she wants #give her back her family and friends #ai program beta #:ghost in the shell #blorbo tag #we just got a letter #rubykgrant #ask games #rolls around on the floor thinking about agent Texas #ouuuuugh #she's just soooo everything #tεxas got shafted even harder by the narrative and if i think about hεr too hard I'll cry

[ladysophiebeckett]

La Oferta de Michel \ Los Planes del Futuro de Betty y Armando

#ysblf #yo soy betty la fea #betty la fea #mystuff #i wanna say this is self explanatory #but like #u know--let me explain anyway--- #michel wanted to do everything for betty without really consulting her--'i'll take care of it' he says as soon as she says she wants discus #the costs. that is not equal partnership. #that is not her having a say. and she's already been through various stages of her life where everyone gets a say in her life except her. #when armando discusses their plans for the future--its implied that he and betty had a discussion together. #they talked about the cost (he's gonna sell his apartment) and its a house they saw and betty loved. #they made plans for their life together. michel's offer was if anything a step back fm the independence she gained at the end of her arc. #and michel doesn't moisturize. why would u want that in ur life?

[spacedlexi]

so often i see people try to downplay violet and minervas relationship like it wasnt Real enough or was some Inferior Romance that her relationship with clementine could Never compare to, and i find it so annoying and boring

she LOVED minerva!! and its okay that she did!! she was her first love!! childhood best friends turned girlfriends!! seeing her being so heartbroken and miserable about what happened to minnie, how deeply and desperately she missed her, hugging that bed frame so pathetically. but clementine makes her CARE again. makes her LOVE again. slowly violet becomes comfortable with the idea of opening her heart up to people again, after trying so hard not to because the pain of losing people she cared about was too much to bear (especially when she blamed herself for them being gone)

then she learns minnie didnt die. shes falling in love with clem while grappling with the fact that minnie might still be out there??

then she meets minnie in the woods. but minnie has changed just like she has. theyre both different people now. and slowly violet is forced to come to terms with the fact that the person she loved so deeply isnt that person anymore??

violet at the beginning mourning minerva and blaming herself, to shooting her to save clems life. she LOVED minerva once, but she doesnt like the person she is now. and shes not gonna let her hurt anyone else she cares about. shes done mourning her by the time they get to the bridge, only crying out for tenn

like idk i just find their relationship evolution to be so interesting and sad as shit. the fact that they once loved each other so much and it has now come to this?? but violet makes her choice and she Chooses clementine, because she admires and loves clementine, probably similar to the way she used to admire and love minerva if the way she talked about her is any indication

i just think "i never thought i would ever feel this way again" is way more interesting than "wow minnie Never made me feel like This"

#violet makes minnie a stronger character literally Just by being there #the way vi and minnie and clem all bounce off each other is so fucking good #CLEM SLEEPING IN MINNIES BED IS NOT AN ACCIDENT #clem has essentially replaced her. and minnie is seething about it. because she wanted them all to follow her to the delta #but instead theyre following clementine. who she sees as a threat to their lives. when in reality the real threat is her and the delta #now its minnie who is sad and lost and doesnt know how to grapple with it #instead doing what she can to save herself. even if it means hurting the people she cares about #and violet HATES THAT!! and shes willing to fight to save the people she loves #even if it means hurting someone she used to care about more than anything #she places that shot so perfectly. she doesnt WANT to hurt minnie. but she wasnt gonna let her hurt clementine either #she may have loved minnie once. partially blames herself for what happened to her. but theyre both different now. and she loves clementine #LIKE IDK that evolution is just so good and makes the clemvi romance even more strong??? violet knows Exactly what and who she wants #so by downplaying the vinerva romance it inherently makes her choice to choose clem weaker?? #the more she loved minnie the harder that choice was. and she chose clementine #anyway this is why the clem vi minnie boat fight makes me bark like a wild beast #either i see people try to downplay her love for minerva OR they overhype it and act like she never got over her #when her getting over minnie is the whole point!! taken vi trusted her bc she LIED to her about sophie!! and clem broke her trust #god shes so heartbroken and confused in that cell get her out of there!!!!! vi i'll save you every time!!!!!! #thinking about clemviminnie instead of working what else is new #twdg #violentine #vinerva

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate? #i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present] #and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?'' #and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

[spacemancharisma]

.

#I don't know how to do this #I don't know how to fucking do this #I had a fucking Hours long crying breakdown after my parents left today #bc i'll never be fucking good enough for them #but if I say anything then we're acknowledging it and maybe it's better to not acknowledge it #maybe we just go back to ignoring the distance #if I say anything then I’m the bad guy again #I don't want to have to do this I don't want to have to keep being the one who steps forward first #I just want to stop trying and let it be what it is and let it hurt in a dull distant way #i've started crying again just from thinking about it #and I don't cry. I haven't cried more than like a light sniffle in three years until today #(bc of antidepressants) #I don't know what to do #I don't want to make it worse I don't want to hurt her feelings I don't want to be the one that starts shit #and I knoowwww I’m gaslighting myself bc she trained me to do this and I Cannot ignore the. two hour bathtub sob #but god what if I *am* the problem what if I *am* instigating and actually we had a good day #what if I’m expecting too much from her and this is better so maybe this is as good as it gets #do I bear it? do I bear it because she can't? #I know it's not fair and I know i'm hurting but maybe that's better than her hurting #do I just carry it for both of us? #I’m not a kid anymore I don't have that excuse #maybe this is womanhood. carrying it so your mother doesn't have to #she's carrying it for my grandmother. maybe this is just it. #I don't know. I don't know what to do. #I’m so fucking tired and it hurts #whatever. #vent #sad kids with bad moms club

[gwydionae]

Anyone have that post about "you ask for better female characters but you couldn't even handle Katara" because after two episodes of the live action, I feel like I need to send it to the writers.

#avatar the last airbender #this is only slightly sarcastic #uh how to tag #netflix avatar #i'll use that in case i post anything else #mild spoilers in the tags #look it's not a terrible show #there are some things it drops the ball on SIGNIFICANTLY though and one of those is katara's characterization #as in: she currently has like zero #i was ready to throw hands when aang had to get HIMSELF out of the avatar state at the end of episode one because God forbid katara do it #was surprised they let her hug him tbh (sarcasm not sarcasm) #sokka and zuko are the standouts so far imo #and i liked the combination of episodes used in ep 2 it made a lot of sense #i won't get into more than that here as i have a lot of Thoughts TM and these tags won't cut it lol #but i had to get that out about katara #i just - ugh that scene from southern air temple was mutilated and i wanted to scream #changes are fine and often necessary but that one was Bad with a capital B #and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool #(that stands for pool) #...don't mind me XD

[dummerjan]

anxiety has been building up over the past couple days and it feels like it's winding itself evermore tighter around me and immobilizing me or as if i were a coil that's being stretched to its maximum capacity and about to snap i've been feeling paralyzed ever since i woke up my mind keeps circling back to things i said or did months ago but it's not just social interactions it's a general feeling of anxiety a shower hasn't helped i've tried physically shaking it off i keep making weird noises to drown out my thoughts but nothing is helping and i am this close to tears

#argh but angrily hitting the keys typing this out has helped a teeny tiny bit at least #i wanted to meet up with a friend for her lunch break in an hour and that would likely do me good because she's just nice to be around #interactions with her don't cause me anxiety and she'll likely just tell me about the guy she started dating recently #and while i won't have anything insightful to say that i can just let her talk #but my hair is still wet and i haven't eating and i am starting to feel shaky and there is so much to be done around the flat #i don't feel like i'll be ready to actually go out #i just want to scream and cry out of sheer frustration #the almost crying isn't because i am sad i am just so... idk wound tight and i can't take it anymore #i feel like i am losing my mind and i don't know what to do with myself #i just don't know where it is coming from and why now #maybe a lobotomy? #meins

[underwhelmingalchemist]

Starting pride month with the pharmacy denying me my testosterone prescription until mid-June and my doctor saying she can't do anything about it because it's a controlled substance 🙃✌️

#i should also add that it's been a week of trying to get her respond to the messages #'hey i don't want to be off my t for a month' #[full day of silence] #'sorry i don’t know why you can't get your refill but i can't do anything about it' #i am going to lose my mcfucking mind #that's not to mention a long argument where my now former friend #because they're one of those 'trump and biden are both equally bad' people who's planning on just letting trump take power again #because they seem to think that you can boycott a high-level politician in a critical election like it's a fucking soda company #for someone who used being communist as a justification for it #they sure have a very capitalist perspective on politics #i also couldn't fall asleep until literal dawn this morning because i forgot my sleep aids #and then when i did fall asleep i had a solid hour of nightmares #and tw for neurodivergence-based disordered eating for this next one #but my brain hasn't let me eat much of anything all day because it's not 'the right food' #it also will not tell me what 'the right food' is #anyways pride month is off to a pretty shitty start #OH and work changed my schedule from working mids to working primarily night shifts without telling me #and my ortho's advice for my wrist fucked it up a lot more and she hasn't responded to my email from a week ago #i'm fucking miserable #if you need me i'll be playing stardew and listening to sad gay music #personal #vent #rant

[thebleedingeffect]

.

#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere #one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions #so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so #despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself #and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral #it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me #not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared #and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her #I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else #but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult #and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side #to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side #she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences #and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control #religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk #having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe #she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough #I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike #and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends #because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting #now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side #it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks. #ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-

[puzzlekinq]

cant sleep because im seething with anger

#been laying here for like 40 minutes fantasizing about finally snapping and telling my mom everything i really think and feel #if i ever came out to her she would end up cutting me off like she did to my aunts and uncles and cousins #basically im alone and my parents and siblings are the only family i can be in contact with right now and its isolating #off topic but yeah #i miss having a big family and people besides my parents that i could rely on. people i felt like i could actually breathe around #idk. whatever #why do i feel responsible for her actions all the time. its been my job to keep her stable and listen to her vent for years #but i never say anything about my own feelings. because she would make me feel stupid and ridicule me. lol #all she does is make me feel like shit most of the time. shes always in a bad mood and shes always whining and always pessimistic #and yeah i get along with her for the most part but lately her attitude has been weighing on me a lot. i cant criticize or disagree with her #because she'll just get mad. shes always been an angry person. thats why i hardly spoke to her from ages 10-15 #maybe i jsut wanted to give her another chance. maybe i felt sympathy for her. shes had it rough her whole life #but when shes still bitter no matter how many times i comfort her and let her vent and cry to me and when she chooses her husband over me #every single time he fucks up (which is like. constantly) and always takes his side when they inevitably make up after a huge fight #it feels like i'll never be able to make her happy. it feels like i should stop trying. if she wants to be full of hatred #and have a shitty husband then fine. i cant fix her like and i cant hold the weight of her mistakes #*life

[miss--river]

idk what i should buy for lunch and dinner for the next 2 weeks. i have a little over $60 rn. maybe i'll just get lots of bread and lunch meat and just make sandwiches.

#i got paid yesterday #of course i had to give most of my money to my mom for rent #then i sent some money to my best friend to save for moving #and i dont get paid again until the 9th #maybe i'll also get some chef boyardee and ramen since thats super cheap too #anytime i eat anything my mom buys she holds it against me later #like i bought my own thing of coffee and i let her have some because she was out #and she wanted to put it in the pantry instead of giving it back to me #i complained because she and my brother drink so much more coffee than i do and she got pissy because i ate some spaghetti she bought #even though she made it for *everyone* when my sister and nephew were visiting

[im2tired4usernames]

I hate that I literally just do not trust any of the older folks in my family to do right by anyone

#if i have learned anything from my grandparents parents uncles and aunts it's how not to treat children and spouses #i hope I'm a good wife to my wife and that i never put them through pain I've seen people put their partners through #i hope i never treat any children in my life like they do #i hope my possible children my nephews and nieces and my siblings always know they have a home with me #EVEN if I'm mad or disappointed in them #even if they scream how much they hate me i hope they know i love them I'll still feed them and make sure that's safe #i hope the people in my life never have to question of they're loved or safe with me i hope i can provide for them so they never have to go #with out something they need and then some to spoil them i want these people loved #i don't want my daughter to think because she talked back to me or is dating someone in not super found of that I'm goin to throw her away #i hope all the kids in my life always know I will try to take care of them as best i can no matter what #not trusting your elders to love you sucks ass not trusting your partner to love you through the scary bits of life sucks #i know so many men who just leave their spouses or cheat on them when they're wives get cancer #that's one thing I'm glad my dad did everything he could to try to let my mom know he loved hwr when she was here at least #i didn't understand or like some of the things he did but qt least he stayed with her and loved her then #unlike some people I'm regrettably related to #i hwar people at work talk about their spouses also one lady wants her husband to die #and it makes me sad i hope to God. my wife never has to question how much i love them i hope they feel loved and special forever #i hate how people treat the people they say they love the most i hope i am not like that i hope i never ever get like that

[cowardlycowboys]

what's funny is i finally finally see my therapist next Tuesday but like I don't need her anymore I'm good now

#omg kiera no one cares #I'm not every other day I'm like it's fine I'm slowly getting back to a stable mood i can kill myself later and then suddenly it's like #actually I'm never moving on ever and i have to kill myself right this minute please god let me die i can't do this i don't want to do this #while gagging from sobbing hysterically #but it begs the question on whether or not I'll like actually tell her anything that I've been feeling because it depends!! #she can't admit me to the hospital tho so like i can be as free and open as i want and fear no risk all I'll get is a stupid safety plan #i throw away as soon as i leave her office because if you think I'm ever actually asking for help you're dead wron #I'm good (lying)

[welcometogrouchland]

Oh I should do something with that toh/spider-verse art I made a while back

#ramblings of a lunatic #toh #spiderverse #yeah i guess we'll tag for that! #it was in my sketchbook so you guys haven't seen it #i put luz as miles bc while they're characters definitely aren't like. The Same #there are some similarities i see and appreciate #like luz isn't a high expectations kid but she is artistic and has the like. not the same but a similar thread in her arc #of realizing that she is enough on her own despite the ways she fails to conform to what ppl want/try to force her to be #also. afrolatino bisexual swag. obviously #also it's really funny bc I DREW HUNTER AS BEN REILLY #JUST BC I WAS LIKE 'Oh sad blonde clone boys' AND THEN BR WAS PORTRAYED LIKE THAT IN SPIDER-VERSE #HILARIOUS #I LOVE IT #i think somewhere in my notes i said that gwen was amity eda was peter b and caleb was 'perfect Peter' #with gus and willow presumably filling in for the spider b-team that appears in both movies #(penny noir and ham in movie 1 and pavitr and hobie in movie 2) #anyway yeah idk if I'll like. have time tomorrow to that (or. anything else. so scared for Wednesday but also LET ME OUT PLS GOD) #but if i do i will #also gotta download both movies so i can have a movie night w/ the gang where we watch both

[cerbreus]

had a trainwreck of an in person consult for my sleeve tattoo yesterday only made better by the itty bitty yorkie shop dog adoring me and sitting on my lap the whole time.

#also chatting with my partner after ofc i felt so much better tysm chris ♥ #but yeah it was not great #it was supposed to be on friday #but she changed it last minute saying she was too busy can we do it the next day at 5 instead? yeah fine #kinda disappointing she didn't tell me in time to like do smth with friends i was invited to but had to opt out of bc of the consult #but whatever #get there early text her that i'm there. stand out side. in the rain. for 15 minutes. she didn't see the text. she didn't see me outside. #in fact.. she was in the middle of tattooing somebody. the client noticed me after 15 minutes and finally let her know. #she comes over all suspicious like. cracks the door and asks 'who are you?what do you want' #even after i say i have a consultation at 5 she didn't remember it was HER who had the consult. i had to rattle off all the details for her #to finally remember it was HER consult and say 'oh i completely forgot about that' #finally get let in and sit down and. she then spends the next couple minutes profusely apologizing to the other client. saying like #'ohhh im so sorry i completely forgot i had a consult scheduled.... i'll get this over with quick' which. well. :( #finally start going through it. she doesn't remember anything about the tattoo. not that it was a sleeve. not what elements were in it. :( #i wasn't expecting a sketch or anything but. even just having re-read the emails before the consult would have... been nice.... #after she does that she says 'oh we didn't really need an in person consultation' which is also. :( because she suggested it. #i get a whole like 5 minutes to rehash stuff we already went over in emails including her not remembering i'd put down a deposit AND we had #3 sessions scheduled already.... and it needs another 2 sessions which i wish she'd told me about because she's booked so far out my last #session might not be until. may. #i didn't even get to ask any questions! i wanted to ask! like does she use saniderm? (i can't have that on my skin) #does she want other things for a tip than just cash? (absolutely not offering that now) has she dealt with KP before? are there any things #she wants me to bring to the sessions? (they're gonna be long) #and then i'm rushed out the door and sitting in my car in the rain and just absolutely fucking crushed #and feeling bad that i feel so bad because like. is it entitled of me to think that like. #maybe if u have a client paying u thousands of dollars to design & tattoo their sleeve tattoos.... you'd like.... treat them like a client #i was so excited about my sleeve i was so fucking psyched and now im. not. at all. #i'm worried about what if she forgets about my appts? what if she books over my appts like she already did with just my consult? #and i'm left hanging trying to get things scheduled in so so so so late like i'm some second rate flaky walk in.... #i guess it could have gone worse

[salsflore]

been almost 3 yrs and i am still struggling with the whole mikachi first meeting thing. bye

#for zl its something simple. i just saw cute fanart of it with another ship [ p sure it was someones 2 ocs ] and enjoyed the idea #i lost my black umbrella irl but tbf it doesnt really matter because i always fucking forget to bring it anyways. so sometimes i get caught #in the rain. so idk zl lends me his umbrella bc. fuck! heading in the same direction and is like hey loser . . let me help you . . #cue immediate heart eyes bc handsome stranger helped her. like Wow Yuo Are So Cool... ♡ #afterwards she mentions this interaction to her friend [ yun jin or hu tao .. unsure but they are both so silly so its hard 2 decide ] and #then they are like wait i know that grandpa you're talking about! let me set you up lalala theres this whole thing i'm lazy #i'll write about it Maybe bc i do want to write for my platonic f/os. and also cover all the [ firsts ] in my self ships #its just: i don't like feeling obligated to stick to things (like a series or theme or whatever) so maybe not. would be nice though.. #nobody in this world is allowed to laugh at me i'll die #as for childe my plan was he breaks into her house and then shes like wtf who r u?!! they make eye contact and kiss + get married asap #no actually i truly dont know. zl's is slightly easier because he lives a mortal life. just chills #has connections with a lot of the liyue chars. literally just enjoying his retirement era now #ajax doesn't have many connections ( other harbingers but they dgaf about each other i think x ) and i just cant imagine that. idk #just fucking. bumping into him would lead to anything. maybe i should turn into a fish and have him fish me up and then i transform into a #girl and then we fall in love what do you guys think (losing my grip on humanity) #💭 #mika ♡ ajax #mika ♡ zhongli