underwhelmingalchemist

[underwhelmingalchemist]

[underwhelmingalchemist]

#at least the ice water might be effective

[underwhelmingalchemist]

my grandma sent me a picture of my dog with his new xmas present and i need a fucking inhaler LOOK AT HIM

oh to feel a fraction of the unbridled joy he is experiencing

#oh my god i love this beast

[underwhelmingalchemist]

i am skeptical you could do that actually, tiktok user

[underwhelmingalchemist]

i shouldn’t be in social situations i should be in the dark

[underwhelmingalchemist]

Sometimes you just need to get a tattoo of a silly l'il guy. For your mental health

#i spent six hours of my day sitting for him and i love him #keeping it vague because privacy but it's a five inch tattoo of an animal i love #and he's in a little costume #i love him so much #personal

[underwhelmingalchemist]

i like the term "gallows humor" because it always makes me think of someone getting sentenced to death and being like "i have GOT to be the funniest person at my public execution"

[underwhelmingalchemist]

My ideal aesthetic is what I'm calling "sexy tomboy". That is to say, I am 100% femme through and through, but I want to look like what a straight man's idea of a "masculine woman" is. I wanna be masc in the way that LaCroix is fruit flavored, just a little extra something to make things a little more interesting

[underwhelmingalchemist]

As important as explicit gay rep is, nothing will ever be funnier to me than an entire fandom collectively deciding a relationship between two characters is gay without even a shred of subtext

[underwhelmingalchemist]

i have literally no respect for label policers sorry not sorry. dividing the queer community into "morally correct good queers" and "evil 'stolen-valor' queers" is literally homophobe shit. you are a fucking fed if you do this tbh

[underwhelmingalchemist]

''dont spam rb/like'' coward. pussy. you will never survive the winter

[underwhelmingalchemist]

#it depends #is the blood clean? #am i being given it to drink or did someone just hand it to me and i technically do in fact have the option to chug it? #is it from someone i know and trust or just some random person you pulled off the street? #do i trust the source of it? #was it drawn safely and hygienically? #if we're talking about this purely hypothetically and there are no negative repricussions to me drinking it #then probably #but like #there's so many factors at play here

[underwhelmingalchemist]

Doodle

#he wears this shirt under an unbuttoned button-up while treating a patient #then makes a comment when they won't stop staring at it like #'i know i have nice tits but can we TRY to focus?' #and then the patient apologizes he insults the patient and asks an incredibly invasive question that will somehow come back later on #house md

[underwhelmingalchemist]

#intelligent

[underwhelmingalchemist]

(inspired by this one for the sake of full transparency)

#no time passing while asleep is very tempting #but domesticating ANY animal??? #i could just pick up a raccoon and take it home with me??? #or scoop up lizards around town??? #fuck yeah

[underwhelmingalchemist]

i honestly forget that autism mums say 'autism won today' to mean like their kid had a meltdown and that they are ableist. like nooo autism win means something like i found something cool out about my special interest or i managed to avoid a meltdown or i got to infodump!!!!! autism win is good!!!!!!

#'autism won today' should mean that i got to spend my ten minute break at work ranting to my coworker about steve's ending in endgame #or that my girlfriend gets to catch the new bluey special right away #an autism loss is when someone is ten minutes late doesn’t communicate it and then my entire mental schedule is thrown off #or when i spend slightly too long in a retail establishment and that overstimulation switch flips and i want to start sobbing in the aisles #and then i can't even figure out what made me overstimulated or when #just that if i don't get out of the store i'm going to be unable to function for the next three to five business days

[underwhelmingalchemist]

I think the “can trans men say tranny” discourse is so funny because like what am I mean to say to transphobes who call me tranny. Am I meant to go “erm actually I’m a trans man! Not a trans women - and only trans women get called tranny. Please call me faggot instead.”

#do you ever hear about new slur discourse and just... like... sigh?