#I’m bad at being patient

[formuki]

Rocks rocks rocks rocks rocks rocks rocks rocks 🪨

#art #traditional art #formukiart #acrylpainting #on a rock #did this w my cousins #it was fun! and also a pain #I’m bad at being patient #painting #dragon #fantasy #formukidoodles

[perplexingly]

I’m so damn tired

#when I first started working whre I do I made the mistake of being reliable and efficient #and ever since then any work that needed to be done fast/that others didn’t want to learn was put on me #and it’s especially bad with one coworker who’s beena senior for years who kept delegating a lot of his tasks over to me #and I got super annoyed last week and then we had a chat about it #and he started started saying that I need to be more patient #and when I gave him feedback about his work ethics back he said ‘but I’m old I can’t learn new things’ #💀 #he also keeps saying that I need to learn to talk these things through with ppl (because I complained to my art dir rather than to him) #but then any work that requires collaboration with another department he always delegates to me #like I’ve never in my life seen him talk with ppl outside the 3d art team #it’s so tiring every time we’re on thr same project it feels like I’m doing work for two people 💀

[stuckinapril]

I think I realized how severely humor infects all spaces when I witnessed two of my coworkers at the neuro clinic I’m interning at laughing at putting in a patient as deceased

#It wasn’t because the patient was dead it was because of an error the system did or something #But even joking about it in that context is fucking weird to me #I thought death would be the only thing humor couldn’t touch #Especially in the context of FTD which is a very aggressive dementia #I don’t think they’re bad people but I do think they’re weird as fuck for that #And if it were me I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing I made that kind of joke #I don’t mean to be a buzzkill but I have my limits and wtf was that #I didn’t say anything I just pretended to be engrossed in my paperwork #The neurologist I’m shadowing wasn’t present #And while I do think she’s a little too robotic when dealing w patients I don’t think she’d have been in on that joke #Just odd idk the us healthcare system already has issues but I think a big one I’m starting to see is #How desensitized the healthcare workers get #Where’s your heart #I love medicine for the humanism of it I don’t wanna become like this one day #I know some people are gonna tell me it’s Just Two Coworkers Being Silly #But can’t they be silly about something else

[sol-draws-sometimes]

I am once again listening to the bright sessions, but just the Caleb episodes

#the bright sessions #bright sessions #caleb michaels #adam hayes #my post #sol talks #keep #i am totally normal about him #i’m completely normal #what are you talking about #honestly tho it’s very interesting #Dr.Bright just seems like a completely normal therapist #Caleb has no idea that Dr.Bright is using a different patient to learn about her kidnapped brother #or that she is kinda working with a corrupt organization that targets PEOPLE LIKE HIM because her brother was kidnapped by that organization #it’s just Caleb having emotion problem #being a teen #and being gay for some emo he befriended cause he felt bad about embarrassing him #also this time I actually have a reason!!! #I’m working on a Caleb related thing

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

I headcanon Kaisa as being just slightly hypotensive. I’m thinking normal blood pressure around 11/7. Most importantly, I headcanon that occasionally it may drop and she knows, but doesn’t do anything about it.

So sometimes she’ll be in the library, and will be on her feet for too long, or maybe it’ll be too hot and she hasn’t let go of her cape, or maybe she even has been so caught up in her job that she hasn’t eaten or drink water in three hours. And she’ll begin sweating, and ignore it. Then she’ll feel lightheaded, and think it’s fine. And then her eyesight will get hazy, and she’ll think ‘nah, I can take it’. Then her hearing will sizzle and her mind will spin and she’ll still do nothing. And if someone’s nearby they’ll begin noticing she’s pale and unresponsive, and that’s because she’s trying to not fall down and wondering why she’s seeing dark spots. But mostly, that probably happens when she’s alone, so when she refuses to sit down and drink water/eat/lie down, she’ll just faint for a bit (on the hardwood floor. Ouch.) and get back within a couple of seconds (and just go about her day like nothing happened)

Anyway the place I’m trying to get to is: imagine Kaisa is hanging out with the Hilda gang for some reason, and at some point they notice the blood draining from her face and her eyes going unfocused and then she just drops unconscious on the floor with no prior warning. Imagine the chaos. Imagine Hilda about to slap her and being held back by David while Frida tries to remember the cpr training they had in the Sparrow Scouts. Imagine Kaisa waking back up suddenly and scaring the living shit out of them

Kaisa already has such undead vampire vibes, I just think that’d be hilarious 😭😭

#damn that’s how I know the academia is getting to me. I’m headcanoning BLOOD PRESSURE LEVELS #(btw I feel like I need to mention: having a lowered baseline blood pressure is GOOD. it’s PROTECTIVE. it HELPS. #walk around with a satchel of salt and you’ll be fine) #this post was brought to you by: me almost doing the same thing yesterday during my semiology practice lol #I walked away when I felt weak #went to get some water. came back to the patient’s history taking bc I felt fine #and then I felt worse! and I figured it’d be pretty weird to drop on the foot in front of the patient #poor dude was just there for his hemodialysis he was already being nice to the bunch of students #he did Not Need to see the chaos that one of them fainting right then and there would wreck #thank God some of the older students saw me trying to breathe deep on the chairs outside the dialysis room #they came to take my pressure and give me water and salt. angels <3 #that’s the good thing about studying in a hospital. if I feel bad I’m already there lmao #anyway. I’m right about Kaisa. #kaisa hilda #the hilda librarian

[planetsallalign]

Being an extroverted introvert is hard. At work I have to be extroverted and happy/excited/nice to put my patients at ease. But once I’m done work it’s instant drop the mask back to being my introverted self. While I love my friends I HATE when I get a text that says “Are you busy/around/have plans tomorrow?” because I usually do not and I don’t want to say no and then get the oh well come do this thing! I’d really rather get a “hey I’m doing (insert whatever activity) would you like to come?” Because when I get the you busy/around text and I reply “no I don’t really have plans” I then feel obligated to participate, sometimes in things I don’t really want to do.

Anyways that’s my rant and my weekends are my readjust time. To be the swamp witch I truly am and find my inner peace and relaxation. Because my job requires me to be “on” all the time.

#I don’t want to be the ungrateful one I do love being included but I’d so rather you tell me first #cause I say I’m around and you say oh let’s do this even if I do not want to do it I usually will out of guilt #and not wanting to be seen as a bad friend #and being who I am at work puts my patients at ease and makes them happy/makes connections with them it just drains my battery

[mytearsrricochet]

I don’t talk about my job on here often because I work in healthcare. but I am a social worker and sometimes. I just want to say. I am very overwhelmed in my job and the things I see and hear every day. And I can handle it overall. But this is one of those days where there just isn’t much to do for my patients because our systems are so fucked up. and I’m feeling a whole lot of existential dread about it. and needing to verbalize that. like these patients are traumatized and not getting the care they need. and there is nothing to do about it. and it doesn’t feel like enough because it’s not but it’s also out of your hands. and it feels like I am shouldering the responsibility for a lot of pain even tho I’m not. but good lord. thanks for letting me vent.

#lots of people yelling at me today #I know it’s misplaced anger and I’m the one who delivers bad news sometimes #(or helps with it) #and it’s a part of my job so it’s fine #but it was one of those days where EVERY patient #was being fucjed by the system and nothing I could do #besides commiserate with them #but that doesn’t solve anything bc there’s nothing even the social worker can do :( #thanks for listening

[rachelchinouriris]

.

#now this may sound crazy #but i think i’ve broken the deep parasocial relationship with louis #i love him and i’ll never stop loving him #but i now feel like it’s not the obsessive kind where he takes over my life #not to be Like That but the medication may have played a part on it #i can enjoy my other interests and focus on my real life goals and responsibilities #as i said i’ll never stop loving him. he’s my fave. my baby. my pookie #but i can now establish a healthy relationship with him #i feel like this is better and it’ll allow me to enjoy him in a positive way #i’m excited actually. i can follow him without needing to know everything he’s doing all the time #i just feel great right now and i’m gonna enjoy it for as long as it lasts. and when the bad days come i’ll keep going #because the good days are worth it #also this is a formal request to not send me any discourse about the husbands #i’m not interested in engaging in that anymore #no stunts. no bbg. nothing about that. just chilling #i’m here for the music and their journeys #riley if you’re reading this. thank you for being patient with me and letting me rant to you and for the intervention #you were right and i feel happier #love you so much #logan.txt

[pkmn-smashorpass]

Very impressive thinking. Scholarly even

#Anorith #I get it #ask #anon #hug anon #citrus anon #sorry I’ve been so bad with asks lately #I have a job again for the first time in a while #and I’m struggling with managing my free time #but I’m adjusting #thanks for being patient with me! #pkmn smash or pass #pokemon smash or pass #smash or pass #pokemon #pkmn

[allegoryofthebeast]

I am soooooo excited for Peter to be more outwardly aggressive in the next game. Like aren’t you tired of being nice. Don’t you want to go ape shit. I hope he is monstrous I literally can’t wait

#I’m sure it’s actually not gonna be that bad #he’ll just be like noticeably meaner and less patient but I have a feeling miles and MJ are gonna figure that shit out quick #I LOVE. the fall. I love aggression and anger and being consumed I love becoming that which you are fighting against #insomniac spider man

[im-still-watching-anime]

whyyy do some people flirt by treating you like a child

#what do you MEAN you were flirting when you said that to me #it was condescending babe!!! #hello naruto blog im here to complain about Dating™️ #i hate it and no one should do it #i KNOW a lot of flirting is being really nice to each other or sweet etc #but i just REALLY hate when people go too hard and verge into the babying territory #like i KNOW what you’re going for and i’m TRYING to be understanding and patient #but girl please CHILL #and treat me like an actual human adult for two seconds because good lord #i thought i already made it clear i wasn’t interested too but!! she keeps going!! #like why!! #pls leave me alone!!! #ughhhhhh #sorry #i am just Very Tired of this #and people being condescending or babying me just really gets on my nerves even when it’s not with bad intentions #flirting BAD sometimes #life junk #venting

[lovecoredeity]

they have to make commission prices easier to decide

#while they’re at it they need to make putting together commission sheets easier #tbh for the inventory commissions I’ll probably just use what I’ve drawn as the reference #but like idk my prices #it’s so hard #I hate pricing shit #I’m also just really bad about asking ppl to pay me for commissions I do not have a backbone for commissions I have many times not informed #ppl that they needed to pay me and instead just say there quietly and patiently and then they were like ‘oh yeah payment!’ #that isn’t like a slight against them btw like it’s my own fault for being anxious about asking for payment plus I just kinda trusted that #they would pay me #I’m so good at commissions ;^; #for my normal commissions I was charging $15 per hour but idk if I should do a flat rate price for inventory sheets and like character ref #sheets or stick to hourly prices and if $15 is too much like are people even gonna wanna pay that I worry I’m either charging too little or #too much at all times it’s so difficult

[tundrakatiebeanart]

Ok I AM streaming tomorrow but it’s going to be a shorter one! Probably a just chatting one while I open a package from my friend and fellow artist Libearty and we can all catch up a little bit.

I’m just still wiped and we have another service person coming at some point tomorrow that I’d like to stay out of the way of.

#hopefully this is the end of that #it’s the last problem from the cacophony that happened at the start of the month #this month has been so bad for streaming and I’m so stressed lol #thank you so much to everyone being patient with me

[aureatchi]

i have sm interactions to get to bcz i’ve had them piling up for a bit so i’m super sorry if i miss anything or haven’t responded to something !! :< jdjsjw this month is already a bit draining on top of being busy so catching up & working on wips are going a bit slower than i planned but i’m so thankful for the love <3 js wanted to say and i hope your day/evening is going well !!

#₊˚ ಇ reverie rambles #cz i feel bad since i haven’t even gotten to all my asks yet #& i’ve rly been wanting to stop by all my moots’ inboxes for rounds but i’m too tired to do tht too :’) #i promise i will !! thank you for being patient <3

[bereft-of-frogs]

gotta say, it is kind of hilarious using a fairly new Xbox series X to play a game from 2003.

I have 15 thousand available save slots.

#2003 graphics meet 1TB hard drive #that I currently only have…five other games for lol #KOTOR was on sale for $4 and I thought it was time to tackle my white whale #aka the reason I didn’t play video games for 15 years #because I got so frustrated with being bad at games and I just wanted the story that I rage quit #I’m a lot better at video games now that I can google when I get stuck #and I’m not…12 anymore haha I have slightly more patients and fine motor skills and cognition lol

[myfriendtheghost]

goodnight, cutie !!! <3

#sorry if u have messaged me in the last 24 hours and I have not responded I feel terrible and work is kicking my ass !!!!! #and now I’m about to be on vacation so pls be patient with me lol #I love y’all I swear I’m not trying to be an asshole and ignore y’all I’m just so physically and mentally exhausted lately 😭 #and I’m starting my heart medication when I get home and I fear things may be worse for the first couple of weeks #so bear with me lol #anyways gooodnight !!! Thank u all for being my friends even when I’m bad at responding I wuv u