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#I’m a recovering Catholic
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Oh this really is the catholic guilt show huh? You still go to mass? You hear that homily the other day?
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tapeworm-loser · 4 months
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Look like he prefers the ache to the aspirin:/
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eeveenicks · 5 months
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Good fucking god, growing up Catholic made me develop so many weird fetishes as an adult.
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beegoould · 11 months
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Mortify my flesh or gtfo
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readyforthegarden · 1 year
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Just heard the catholic church is changing their phrasing again from “and with your spirit” to “him hat” and I think that’s beautiful
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laughableillusions · 9 months
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I feel bad a bit bc I really throw Shelly under the bus but she is given the personality of a pencil and is probably the WORST case of Woman In a the Fridge I’ve ever seen and she could’ve been replaced with a Pokémon card collection and the movie still would’ve been (mostly) the same. Maybe if I cared more I would’ve fleshed her out myself but I don’t care bc she’s already dead anyway so I can make Eric get railed by a guy in an alleyway thank you and goodnight
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propertyofwhitney67 · 2 months
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I don’t even usually go for the half animal kink but oh my god the thought of bunny!Whitney breeding me non-stop has me going feral.
I wonder if there’d be any way to calm him down or if he’d always just have a one track mind. Bunny!Kylar would be even worse oh my goddd
I’m in the middle of work and I can’t stop thinking about how each love interest would be like as a bunny. Do y’all have any headcanons about it?
There is no stopping constantly horny Whitney, you have to put him in a cage. When you let him out it only gets worse. The two of you have to come up with some compromise, good luck.
Bunny!Kylar
Oh god you are fucked. Your status plummets within a day from how much he is seen with you. Never leaves your side. He tries to come to class with you but is kicked out, if his jealousy is high enough he will bring out the knife and threaten them to let him stay. He's a bit easier to control than Whitney. Just tell him he has to be a good boy and he gets to breed you. Wants to keep you pregnant and reliant on him.
Bunny!Sydney
Taking catholic rabbit to a whole new level.
C!Sydney: A fucking menace. He was so repressed and now he gets to let everything out. Pulling you away whenever he feels like it, even if you don't want to. Acts a lot like they do in the rite of defilement when you fuck in the prayer room.
P!Sydney: More restrained and can control themselves the best. He is so pent up and he doesn't know what to do. He's so confused and is scared to ask anyone from the temple, these thoughts aren't pure. They are dirty and sinful.
Bunny!Alex
Every fucking night. You are always pregnant, spare for the time you need to recover. More mature and understanding but still fucks you as much as you let him.
Bunny!Robin
Also every fucking night. You get no peace at the orphanage, but I think you're sorta ok everywhere else. At the beach he pulls you into the changing rooms and at the park pulls you into the bathroom for a quickie.
Bunny!Avery
Pray he is low rage. Holds himself back all night until he's dropping you off or in the hotel room. He prizes himself as a man of class and wouldn't risk his image just to fuck you.
Bunny!Eden
I don't know Eden well, but I will try my best.
You are never going back to town, why would you? He needs you here to help him, to be a nice release after a long day. Well kinda, he's fucking you throughout the day. Please cockwarm him all night, at breakfast, at dinner, and while he's relaxing in the living room. Also one to want to breed you and keep you reliant on him like Kylar.
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lulu2992 · 1 month
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Exploration of the now-offline Far Cry 5 official websites
Part 14: Jerome Jeffries
Recovered content
On the American website, Jerome was introduced on or before July 13th, 2017:
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THE PASTOR JEROME JEFFRIES After serving in the Gulf War, Jerome returned to Montana to serve as the county’s Catholic parish priest. But with the influx of Project at Eden’s Gate, he lost his church and some blood along the way. Now, armed with the Good Book and a good gun, he’s ready to lead his congregation from the pulpit once again.
There was a link to this video:
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In an article titled “Meet Far Cry 5's Characters” posted on May 26th, 2017, on the same website, this is what we could read about Jerome:
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THE PASTOR, JEROME JEFFRIES Jerome was Hope County's parish priest for more than 15 years, and was one of the first in the community to befriend Joseph Seed, the founder of The Project at Eden's Gate. Before long, Jerome's flock left to follow Joseph, and Jerome tried to take it in stride – until Eden's Gate locked down the county. Not only did Jerome lose his church, but he was beaten and left for dead in the woods. Jerome survived and vowed to protect the cult's intended victims, and as a Gulf War vet, he's got the training and experience to lead Hope County back to the light.
On or before February 9th, 2018, on the page dedicated to the characters, his description was modified:
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THE PASTOR JEROME JEFFRIES Pastor Jerome Jeffries is God’s hammer. He served in the first Gulf War and saw combat up close, then returned to Montana and has been the region’s pastor for over 15 years. When Joseph Seed arrived 10 years ago, Pastor Jerome Jeffries was one of the first to befriend him. It wasn’t long before many of the pastor’s congregation broke away and joined Joseph, calling him Father. Pastor Jerome Jeffries became uncomfortable with Joseph’s unorthodox worship, but conceded that people must choose their own path to God. Then came the lockdown. The Pastor was beaten, tossed in the woods, and left to die. He clawed his way back to life and headed back to Fall’s End to protect those in need with the Good Book in one hand and a gun in the other.
And on March 27th, 2018, while the text and the linked video remained the same, the presentation slightly changed:
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On the European website, from March 10th, 2018 (or earlier), to at least February 7th, 2020, he was described as follows:
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JEROME JEFFRIES THE PASTOR After serving in the Gulf War, Jerome returned to Montana to serve as the county’s Catholic parish priest. But with the influx of Project at Eden’s Gate, he lost his church and some blood along the way. Now, armed with the Good Book and a good gun, he’s ready to lead his congregation from the pulpit once again.
The video was the same as the American one, but uploaded on the Ubisoft UK YouTube channel:
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Commentary
Jerome does say he once was “a pawn in an oil war” in Far Cry 5, and Mary May, that “he fought in Iraq one or two”, so the part about him serving in the first Gulf War (like Jacob) seems canon. Because of the (cut) description of the Lamb of God Church, I assumed he was Lutheran and not Catholic, so either I’m wrong or they changed their mind and that explains why the word “Catholic” then disappeared from the description.
He also talks about having been kidnapped by John, who managed to make him say things he’s apparently ashamed he said, then “beaten, tossed in the woods, and left to die”, after which he considered leaving but decided against it and to protect the people of Fall’s End instead when he found a copy of the Bible. Although that dialog is still in the game, it always bothered me in terms of the timeline because Jerome says the incident happened before the Deputy arrived, but the Reaping (so the cult locking down Hope County and capturing Fall’s End) only began after Joseph’s failed arrest...
As for the part about him befriending Joseph, it’s never mentioned in the game, but we can imagine Jerome did welcome the Seed family when they arrived. However, it’s reminiscent of the live-action trailer The Baptism, in which we also get a glimpse of Joseph dragging an unconscious Jerome. Several elements of the video, the most important and mysterious one being the little girl, were never explained and/or are inconsistent with the current story of Far Cry 5... but maybe not with early versions of it.
I don’t know how canon this description still is, but I think it’s yet another proof that the story in general and the cult’s methods in particular went through several changes during the development of the game and that, at one point, the locked-down county and the constant terror caused by Eden’s Gate were not new; they had been going on for weeks, maybe months or even years before the Deputy’s arrival, and Jerome had been fighting against them the whole time.
Under the cut are all the available source files, saved directly from the website, of the images you see in the screenshots:
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tommykinard6 · 18 days
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I’ve finally watched the new episode!!!
I’m going to talk about it, but in case someone hasn’t filtered out spoilers, here’s a cut.
Tommy, my sweet darling, you look so soft and gentle, especially during that coffee scene. You’re so gentle with Buck and you’re also so gentle with yourself. You’re precious.
Buck, sweetheart, you are certainly an ally. Your lips and Tommy’s lips sealed an alliance, that is correct. You’re so cute, omg, you’re down bad for this boy. Invite him to your sister’s wedding on the third date? Why not!
I think the show did a great job in handling Buck coming to terms with himself. I think he hadn’t necessarily paused to think it over before his talk with Maddie and that’s why he was so anxious on the date.
Also, these are two grown ass men. I don’t think they’re moving at the wrong pace or that Buck is silly for inviting Tommy to his sister’s wedding. It’s a little odd, but as he said, Tommy already knows half the people there. They’ll figure out what works right for them.
I feel like people make more of the age difference than there actually is. We don’t have a confirmed age for Tommy, but let’s say he’s about the same age as Lou himself (39/40). Buck is about 31. An 8-9 year age difference really isn’t bad. It is a difference for sure, but it’s nothing drastic. Tommy isn’t robbing the cradle.
What I’m wondering about is the wedding and their appearance. Has Buck come out to everyone? Is he doing a surprise date? Do his parents know?? I don’t want his coming out to take over the wedding, but I’m hoping we get some scenes in the next episode, some flashback, to show his coming out or the build up to Tommy as his wedding date.
Lou said in an interview that Tommy’s entrance to the wedding will be dramatic. Did Tommy go off to recover Chim from wherever Chim went?
I’ll briefly touch on the rest of the episode content. First up, Eddie and Marisol.
What the actual hell was happening there?
I wanna know who came up with the nun storyline. It was hysterical! But I’m wondering where the writers are going with this. They moved her in and then out in the same episode. The only thing that I see accomplished was showing that Eddie was Catholic and has Catholic guilt. This could be useful later on, but it was odd.
Please, 9-1-1, get rid of Marisol. It’s not even the character that’s an issue, it’s the actress.
And finally, Hen and Karen!
I love any storyline we get with them. These are my moms now, ok? I’m sad they didn’t get a baby, but I think they’ll have quite a journey ahead with Mara, who’s clearly traumatized. And look at Denny! He’s grown up so much. I love their little family and I hope we get some more centric storylines with them. I feel like they get left behind sometimes.
Ok! Those are my thoughts! Lemme know what y’all think.
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The Miami Vice references previewed for 706 are WILD. I’m old so I used to watch MV as a kid. I don’t remember much bc I was young so most of it was over my head at the time. But. The 706 costuming for Buck and Eddie plus the loud naming of their characters as Tubbs and Crocket respectively (AND the confusion between them about who’s who) struck me as more than passing references so I did some digging.
Turns out there was an MV ep (1x22) titled Evan!!! The ep dealt directly with a queer character named Evan, an arms dealer named Guzman [this pinged my meta about the armoire so the arms dealer is a self-serving honorable mention here on my part], one of the main characters named Crocket (aka 911 Eddie) alluding to Catholic guilt, a queer-coded conflict of interest in Evan’s case that Crocket (again, this is Eddie!) refused to name/talk about. I could go on with the Buddie parallels but I won’t; I need a minute to recover from just those parts of the equation!!
Just. Read the queer analysis of the MV ep linked below and leave me to my smelling salts 😵
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zeroaddzero · 9 months
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Top 10 Horniest Bruce Springsteen songs, ranked
Yes there are more horny Bruce songs. Too many horny songs for one list. I don’t know if his game was good because he knew how to write horny songs, or if his game inspired him to write horny songs. Eiter way, we’ve been blessed musically with a lot of horny songs. Here’s the horny songs I managed to fit into a (very biased) list:
1.  I'm On Fire
THE horny Bruce song. A fever fantasy of a wet dream smushed into one moaning, sweaty mess. Before I was a fan, this (coupled with the below performance) was the song that made me go "OH. I get it now."
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At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet And a freight train running through the middle of my head Only you can cool my desire
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2.  Pink Cadillac
About as subtle as Lady Gaga’s “Disco Stick.” Even better paired with the BITUSA tour intro (said intro got noticeably more sexual after Bruce got married in 1985).
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They say Eve tempted Adam with an apple But man I an’t goin for that I know it was her pink Cadillac
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3. Fire
Originally written for Elvis, the bass line alone for this #problematic 70s “don't play coy with me” number will make you reconsider feminism for 5 minutes. The 1986 performance is downright NSFW.
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You had a hold on me right from the start A grip so tight I couldn't tear it apart
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4. The Fever
Bruce is king of the “lying in bed thinking of how horny this person makes me” genre, and this is one of his finest examples. At almost 8 minutes, it’s the tantric equivalent to the more concentrated "I’m on Fire". Anybody noticing a “burning” theme here?
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Well now the day grows longer The love just grows stronger, baby And the fever gets so bad at night I got the fever for the girl
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5. Because The Night
Bruce never finished the lyrics, and this song arguably belongs to Patti Smith now. Bruce has even said as much. However, I am biased and enjoy this banger too much to let technicalities get in the way of horny. On the list it goes.
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Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to lust Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to us
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6. Red Headed Woman
I'm Going Down may seem raunchy until you realise it's about a bad breakup. For the other thing, we have this entry. Folks, this song is literally about eating pussy. Bruce even introduced it as such during his Ghost of Tom Joad tour. I’ve yet to recover from the whiplash of hearing him say the word “cunnilingus” while performing at his old Catholic high school.
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Well listen up stud Your life's been wasted 'Til you've been down on your knees and tasted A red headed woman
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7. She's The One
Speculated to have been written about the violinist who played on the album Born To Run, this tune shows our boy is down baaad. Best paired with the excellent "Mona" intro, which is included in the Houston '78 live performance below.
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With her killer graces and her secret places That no boy can fill with her hands on her hips Oh and that smile on her lips Because she knows that it kills me
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8. Part Man, Part Monkey
My Tunnel of Love tour knowledge is woefully lacking despite the tour being his most explicit, and the accompanying album being in my top 3. In the eyes of the public, Bruce was still with his first wife when this video was shot in 1988. Only the band knew he was recently separated, so imagine watching a presumably married man on stage eye-fucking his backup singer. The gossip mill must have been insane after each show.
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Well the night is dark, the moon is full The flowers of romance exert their pull We talk awhile, my fingers slip I'm hard and crackling like a whip
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9. Crush On You
Another genre this Jersey dude excels at is “horny to the point of funny.” Bruce himself has called it "the worst song we ever put on a record" but hey, what does he know.
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For one kiss, darling I swear everything I would give 'Cause she's a walking talking reason to live
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10. Cover Me
I just realised this is only one of four songs on this list included on an official Springsteen album(if you don't count the outtake compilations.) The video contains the studio audio, but I'm not passing on an excuse to plug more Paris '85 concert footage!
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Now promise me baby you won't let them find us Hold me in your arms, let's let our love blind us Cover me, shut the door and cover me I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me
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Honourable mentions (song/album):
Rosalita / The Wild, The Innocent & The E Street Shuffle Candy's Room / Darkness on the Edge of Town Ramrod / The River Cindy / The River (outtakes) Ain’t got you / Tunnel of Love The Fuse / The Rising
Let me know if you think I missed any! I won't change the list, but more horny song discourse is always good.
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stirringwinds · 8 months
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just some stray thoughts: i am nedpan trash so i enjoy it in all forms including the whole shut-in buried in a futon Japan and worldly dickhead empire Ned vibe, but ngl I’m interested in exploring more of the Calculating Shogun and his Favourite Not-Catholic Foreigner (tm) who is recovering from scurvy dynamic too because i mean. that’s how it starts? Japan in 1600 isn’t really isolationist or peaceful. mfer just tried to invade Korea and China and finally got tossed out as he deserved only in 1598, and is still kind of licking his wounds while dealing with domestic chaos. he’s as sharp as the dual blades of his wakizashi and katana still. i feel like at this point in time, he’s not quite the man who spends hours doing bonsai or feeding cats and who’s used to more peaceable hobbies yet lol. he’s kind of an ambitious asshole who is maybe getting tired of centuries of battle, but still learning to settle into the enforced peace of the Tokugawa era. and in some ways he and Ned are rather similar during that period. that regional upstart challenging a bigger continental power vibe 🤔and there’s that time japan got banned from china for piracy (not all the pirates were Japanese yes, but still). they may appear to be opposites as isolationism goes on, but I feel like deep down they’re very much two sides of the same coin too in certain ways.
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solokabuto · 3 months
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So what are your Fate yuri rarepairs?
Thank you so much for asking!!! I treat fate women like immensely complicate barbie dolls i can roll around in my mind until they slot together in ways that make the deeply ill recovering catholic lesbian in me squeal so you may or may not notice some general themes, I’ll be including hcs and fic ideas in here because my brainrot is terrible rn so have fun with this:
Dobrynya Nikitich x Morgan Le Fay
Now this is largely due to the fact that i noticed similarities in them (white haired mothers that are more than they seem and definitely not who they seem with fucked up daughters that have pink hair and pent up rage) and admittedly I’m not in Tungsuka sanctuary so I don’t have a vantage point on Dobrynya’s personality like at all outside of adorable fanart but they seem like they’d be cute. They’re one of those couples that would largely only exist in au’s where Dobrynya runs the daycare that Morgan drops Baobhan at or something. And the entire story is just Baobhan being terrorized while Dobrynya and Morgan make out in the background.
Okita Souji x Nitocris
That moment when you (living vessel for your brother’s vengeance who immediately committed suicide upon fulfilling your goal due to perceiving the cold embrace of death as warmer than the cruel clutches of your fellow man) come across another girl (a hollow mockery of a human being born and bred to slaughter without a care who relates better to broken bones, sinew, and blood than she does to living beings and can kill her friends at a simple order)and link up (have intense homoerotic discussions about death dying and purpose) over tea and wine (cups of literal blood) and fuck nasty (memento memori style)
Olga Marie Animusphere x Ereshkigal
If you haven’t read Afterlife by nd7878 and you have any form of attachment to Olga or Ereshkigal or see the similarities between the two please read it, it’s amazing and I love it so much it fulfills my Olga Marie cravings very well. Anyways i think these two are cute, like super cute like insanely cute and I’d like to imagine Olga would bring out the more forward and irritable side of Ereshkigal and the two would clash in a way that’s still friendly. I dunno she’d make eresh more lively and make Olga feel more loved. I really love afterlife, please read it.
Jeanne D’ Arc x Barghest
I just think the idea of a woman who already sees herself as an offering, offering herself up to a worthy warrior who desperately wishes to stop destroying things she loves to be incredibly interesting. Especially because in my mind Jeanne would probably have little issue with letting Barghest eat her regularly as long as she recovers decently enough. They’re interesting i have fic ideas for them i think Jeanne would enjoy being devoured gruesomely. The knowledge of having a set place for your body to go rather than being burned and desecrated just to be tossed into the river and washed away. I am far too invested in Jeanne D’ Arc. A part of me thinks she would enjoy having something resembling a proper corpse since she was torched to ash and thrown into a river rather than properly being laid to rest. I have vivid images of their entire routine can you tell u have been plagued by yuri visions for far too long?
Baobhan Sith x Galatea
You know how popular girls in hs always have that one girl that isn’t popular or important or really much of anything to a majority of the student body that they don’t play about? Yeah that’s Galatea to her. They hit it off over sculpting because Baobhan has a general affinity for art that includes her love of fashion and eventually they become friends which is incredibly strange to Baobhan because she is deeply unused to being cared for and loved by anyone that isn’t her mother and even then the way she goes about it is very much not like her mother (it’s okay Morgan you tried sweetie). I just think it would be nice to see Galatea slowly help Baobhan build a healthy relationship with love, loving and being loved. They’d be cute. I also think Galatea would find having her blood sucked to be an interesting experience considering she probably finds the fact she has blood to be quite novel.
Merlin (Prototype) x Morgan Le Fay
With benefits. I don’t know what to call their relationship so they’re just with benefits. Morgan would just vent out her frustration on her while Merlin just takes it because why the hell not, being half-succubus has its perks. Additionally, she’d rely on Merlin to have a few moments of complete thoughtlessness and freedom from the stress and general fuckery of Faerie Britain by just allowing herself to fall for the effects of her beauty. Honestly it’s more so method of relaxation for Morgan then a genuine relationship but I think it’s interesting. They probably have insane conversations about the world that usually end in Morgan forcing her to shut up because she says something she doesn’t want to hear but isn’t untrue. Occasionally in moments of weakness Merlin will ask Morgan if she wants her to take her away to Avalon and leave this place for the faeries she hates so much, and Morgan will always refuse dispute herself.
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the anti-rafe’s wheel of time is so obvious bc they only ever bring up how the men are failed by the story
“Rand is the dragon not Egwene! He should be the most special and powerful!” a) Plus, pretty sure they’re building his OPness by giving u other powerful ppl to compare him to, and b) where did all the arguments that the women are powerful “in a different way” go? Hm? Did Egwene not use her weaves effectively instead of trying to raw power against a forsaken? Hm? I understand Liandrin is the bad guy, but she did tell u it isn’t all about raw power
“Mat is ruined! Where’s his moral compass!!! Why is he useless!!” oh you mean poisoned by the dagger for almost three whole books would sooner run from a battle than face it disgusted by Rand’s magicalness at every turn bc he’s watching his normal life go up in flames Mat? That Mat? Honestly, if anything, the show actively pushed you to like Mat this season, in an attempt to recover from what show onlys would see as treachery when Barney left the cast and forced a story nobody could prepare for!
“Perrin’s done nothing! He’s practically not even a character!” Whoooooo boy, you guys. Lemme tell you. Of the three male leads, perrin is literally the most tangible in the show. We watch him lose a loved one by his own hand, and proceed to ask everyone and their mother how to be a good person, on top of actively searching for the horn, learning more about the wolf brother stuff AND save ppl whenever he can. Perrin is literally the most grounded, most relatable male lead. Every show only I’ve seen react to the series agonises over his entire life. Rand and Mat? So personal, internal and otherworldly in their issues, Perrin feels centred. His arc feels palpable bc we got to see him physically lose someone. People can conceptualise his pain! He’s the people’s hero! He’s not fantastical, esp. given his wolf-forest-animal stuff, it’s a very catholic guilt like guilt you’d be surprised how that permeates a story. Which! Which! Book! Accurate!
(I wrote this on the go so if it isn’t very well argued/thought out pls try not to nitpick me. Trust the general thing I’m getting at).
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