#I wouldnt consider it a spoiler myself

[starofhisheart]

Thinking abt Dulcie picking up Eddie by the scruff of her jacket 😳 like ma'am pls I too am small and gay and would like to manhandled by a beautiful butch

#deadloch #eddie redcliffe #dulcie collins #eddie x dulcie #lesbians #wlw #wlw tv #in my deadloch era #deadloch spoilers #kinda? #its from the last ep #I wouldnt consider it a spoiler myself #but I know what y'all r like on the interwebs

[emotional-support-lieutenant]

Three prompts down!

I have begun work on Free Space, Edward Little, and Something Other Than Scurvy. I'm about ready to start Somerset House and A Small Kindness. And I've plotted out Storeroom, Snow House, Cage, Greatcoat, Lie Back And Think Of England, and Firehole.

Only things I've been drawing a blank on are Stretcher and By Days End. And we'll see if I actually get through all of them. Firehole, Cage, Snow House, Storeroom, and ESPECIALLY Somerset House and A Small Kindness are going to be very embroidery heavy, which will take me quite a while.

#terror bingo 2023 #im rlly happy i got an idea for greatcoat cuz i was truly considering how to budget to make myself a greatcoat #spoilers i wouldnt be able to afford it even if i was at that skill level #its a lot of high quality fabric plus a dress form and honestly id get a sewing machine for that #an entire garment that size. of wool. is more than im willing to hand sew #says the person hand sewing a rug shhhh

[exiledelle]

so ever since i saw undertale yellows merciless route, ive been having a thought about it:

which is also helped by me having had a big interest in undertale aus back in the day dfhjkg

UNDERTALE YELLOW MERCILESS SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

what would happen afterward in that timeline? what happens to the underground after asgore is killed, and theyre shot back to square one?

what would happen if frisk still fell down in that timeline?

so if youll excuse my still-practicing pixel art (i did end up grabbing the hat and pistol off a clover spritesheet on spriters resource though, and the pose and poncho were built off a couple kris sprites), a small sprite edit, and a maybe-meh teen clover design:

for right now im calling this Vengeance AU for a lack of a better name that wouldnt just be [blank]tale or under[blank], with or without a "yellow" attached

also i made clover a teen just to set this version of them apart, plus a blue, starry poncho instead of their usual bandana, and spurs on their boots

(IF ANYONE PICKS THIS AU UP FOR ANTHING, CLOVER AND FRISK (and chara, if included) USE THEY/THEM PRONOUNS!!)

an au where after the events of yellows merciless run, frisk still falls down mt ebott, whether because of clover, or their own reason,

but clover, who once made the climb themself to get vengeance for the other 5 fallen humans, isnt about to let yet another go missing under their watch, and decides to chase after them, and bring them back home. by force, if necessary.

so it ends up with frisks journey through the underground being constantly chased by clover. and while clover doesnt want to intentionally hurt frisk, since their motivation is the "protection" of humankind, it would still no doubt be terrifying for frisk, and clover WILL hurt the monsters.

ruins end up being mostly the same, minus clovers pursuit. toriel, still locked in the ruins, probably wouldnt have heard about asgores death, and would only realize upon seeing clover, grown up, covered in dust, and detached from the world around them.

outside though, things would take a much more bleak turn.

the royal guard is more present after a surge of recruitment, monsters have mostly accepted that theyre stuck down there for eternity, some making the most of it and trying to live happily, others not so much. and when it comes to humans, monsterkind is just a little more on-edge.

papyrus also ends up being recruited, however hes only a lookout/watchman, and not a fully-fledged guardsman, due to undynes biases. she WOULD have preferred he wasnt hired at all, but the guard was desperate, and didnt have many other volunteers

also due to hotlands evacuation at the time, martlets final stand is mostly forgotten, only seen as a rumor with little ground. the only thing people know of is that there was a strange withered flower on the roof of the apartments, but no one thinks anything of it. there is, however, still a lingering resentment in the air around it that makes monsters uneasy, but also weirdly enough, like theres someone watching over all of them

other than that, im not too sure where this au would go, how frisk would end up dealing with clover by the end, or even if frisk would end up in places like the dunes or steamworks, or if theyd stick to roughly the same areas.

i mostly just thought itd be interesting to start to imagine how different things would be, and considering clovers personality and motivations in merciless, i thought itd be interesting if they became an antagonist, following frisk down to drag them back

i might think more on this and add stuff onto it in the future, but for right now this is all there is, but people are free to build on it in their own ways, if they like!! (and/or send an ask and i can TRY to think of an answer, but knowing myself i cant promise anything)

#undertale yellow #undertale yellow spoilers #clover uty #ellesprites #elle rambles #vengeance au #undertale #undertale au #frisk

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Solas from Dragon Age vs Shin Tsukimi from Your Turn To Die

(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. i will block you if you harass others in the notes, please consider sending your unhinged harassment to my inbox instead)

Propaganda under the cut, may contain spoilers:

Solas:

HATE: - "Ugh. *Stabs you stabs you stabs*"

Shin Tsukimi:

BOTH: - "The son of a bitch has trauma, understandable, but to bear with it he basically screws us all the time. You literally CANT believe a single word out of his fucking mouth because you always end up finding out how he lied later on. HE IS A BACKSTABBER. Now, the question is, did I think he deserved to die? Well, yes but no. I cant say I wouldnt be happy seeing him screwed, but at the same time I would kill everyone in this room and then myself. This bitch has trauma, and sadly, I love this fuvking kind of traumatized lying bitches. HE AND KANNA ARE LOVELY OK? AND MIDORI IS EVEN A BIGGER BITCH (enemy of my enemy is my friend, so like, friendzz with shinnn) Tbh I have no idea of what else to say other than this without rambling into spoiler territory mentioning each of the situations I have grudges about. Play YTTD I recommend it 🤙."

#poll #round 2 #1 submission #solas #dragon age #solas dragon age #dragon age inquisition #shin tsukimi #shin tsumiki #your turn to die #yttd #yttd spoilers

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

hey you seem to really know your stuff with titanic and im curious if you can tell me more about that night? a lot seem to think everyone either just drowned or froze too death, but i have a feeling it was a lot more awful than people realize, considering all the jokes people make about the sinking they seem clueless to the fact this was a very bad and awful way to die, for everyone on that ship, especially the third class :/

you know, ive always thought i didnt know that much about titanic but as ive sat here parsing through what i do know, turns i know a lot more than i thought.

and unfortunately, anon, youre very right, it was a horrible way to die, especially so for the third class.

quite a lot of people did drown or freeze to death which are horrifying ways to go by themselves.

at the time, evacuation plans for big oceanliners were shit so a lot of people wouldnt have gotten their lifesavers on, and off the top of my head, i wouldnt be able to tell you how many people could swim back then, but it was certainly less than today. it was only in the 90s that swimming became a compulsory part of the curriculum in schools in the uk, so unless you had reason to know to swim, you probably didnt know if you were british.

and i dont think i need to go into the biology of drowning to tell you its not a fun way to go. its fucking painful, for one, and two, you would have been terrified if you drowned during a fucking shipwreck.

it was also very cold, unsurprisingly. its the north atlantic. it was about 28°F or -2°C which is a lethal temperature. for some reason, a lot of people think that freezing is a relatively peaceful way to die; its not. i cant speak myself for how awful being so cold youre shivering is (i cant really feel the cold because of nerve damage but thats beside the point), but everyone ive spoken to about it resoundingly says its fucking awful. you also experience disorientation, muscle stiffness, excruciating pain in your extremities as your body pulls circulating blood from them to keep your vital organs going, and if youre very unlucky, you might also get frostbite (which can kick in under 30mins) which will add some burning pain.

an added kicker to the cold is that even if you can swim, the shock of cold water might make it harder. im pretty sure shock also likely killed people outright.

another way of dying if you made it out of the boat and into the water (spoiler: several people didnt) is if you were too close to the funnels when they collapsed, you would have been crushed by 62ft tall metal funnels. dozens died that way and if the crushing didnt kill you, you would have either drowned or frozen to death soon after.

you could have also been killed by any number of things that fell from the ship, especially as the stern (the end bit) began to lift up before the ship finally broke in two.

mind you, all of this happened in almost darkness. the engineers kept the lights on as long as they could but eventually they cut out and part of what made the iceberg so hard to see was the fact that it was a new moon.

one of the other things that made it hard to spot is one of the few not good things, but better: the ocean was relatively calm. it made it hard to spot icebergs because you can normally watch out for the foam of the water as it splashes on them. although it led to the sinking itself, it did make launching lifeboats possible (its hard as hell to launch lifeboats in violent ocean today let alone the dinky little wooden ones back then) and those in the water werent being thrown around as much as they could have been. though thats not saying much.

and of course, there are those who didnt make it out of the boat. movies did not lie to you about that although they did lie to you about the specifics.

historical record suggests that they did not purposefully lock third class passengers below deck like many movies show. testimony from the few third class passengers who survived indicates this which is why im likely to believe it. they were able to get up on deck, but it also wasnt easy to do that.

now, crew have said in the haste of the evacuation, they didnt remember to tell the third class passengers the plan. now is that true or is it just a more favourable story to tell during the inquiry? i cant say, for sure. either could be true and both highlight how we treated the poor in society back then (and as a poor, its reflective of today). as such, many third class passengers simply left the cabins and waited outside to be told what to do and that didnt happen. eventually, they made their way up themselves, some due to the fact that they could see the rising water.

and not all of them made it to deck. some chose not to, and again, going off third class survivor testimony here which is why im willing to believe it. theres a specific story about a woman who put her baby on her lap and simply played the piano until the atlantic rose to meet her. another of a man who told his brethren that he was too old to fight the atlantic, and simply lit a cigarette and waited.

others got lost because titanic was a large ship and it was very easy to get lost. especially in the panic of a sinking ship and under lights that are getting dimmer. luckily, some crew remembered oh shit the poor people exist and went down to help any that needed it, so some were led out but that doesnt mean they all did.

also, sadly, it probably wouldnt have helped. similarly to the engineering crew that kept the engines going as long as they could before evacuating themselves, there simply werent enough lifeboats and they were all or almost all gone.

additionally, there were no lifeboats on the third class deck space so they had to make their way to either second or first in order to get into a lifeboat. dont quote me on this because i might have the wrong place, but this is where there was a locked gate for third class. luckily, they snapped the lock off of it and got the fuck out.

anyway, back to those inside. now some of the people trapped inside likely drowned, especially those trapped in the bow as it slowly filled with water and began to sink into the water. the risk of drowning also got worse, once things like walls and doors gave out and in comes a rush of freezing cold sea water.

but that isnt the only likely fate. a rush of water can push quite a lot of things and terrifying speeds which meant people would have been killed via blunt force trauma or being impaled on something. especially for those in the stern (again, the back bit) as it lifted because gravity is not helping here. those still trapped inside would have held on for dear light as the light slowly dimmed and became redder before finally cutting out as the ship broke in two.

now if you were in the stern and escaped death via drowning, blunt force trauma or impaling, you would have definitely been killed by water pressure. see, the bow was able to fill with water relatively slowly and equally which is why its still decently intact on the seabed because it sank relatively slowly. the stern did not and thats why the stern looks like an underwater crash site. as the stern sank, it sank quickly which meant there were still air pockets inside as it sank. and as it came down, the pressure built and soon the people above water could hear what sounded like explosions. it would have been a quick death, but thats the most i can say.

i cant speak for if any kind of sealife killed anyone. i havent heard of any testimony of that and i dont know whats there in the north atlantic to kill people. i assume theres something there, but i couldnt tell you what.

im also sure i missed some forms of death, but off the top of my head, thats what i got.

and yeah, it wasnt pretty and most of the people who died were third class or crew members.

#anon #titanic #tw death #im not sure what trigger warnings exactly to put here so please let me know if theres any extra #tw drowning #tw hypothermia #shipposting

[meatsex]

No pressure nor ill will, but as someone who has had past bad experiences with vinesauce fanartists, I'd like to know if you could possibly talk about your intent when you draw vinesauce art in such niche themes, large quantities, as well as basically drawing gore of real people. I like your art in general, but with some VS art, I don't know how to feel about it, due to the lack of insight to the author's intent, so that is all I'd like to have clarified, if possible.

im going to reply to this because you asked nicely, otherwise i wouldnt and ill say why at the end

i dont know what exactly falls in "niche theme", but these are things you will find not just in my VS art but in any kind of art i do: crossovers (vocaloid songs), parodies (shared line with crossovers), violent acts put on a comedic spotlight or in the reverse case, situations that are violent in nature but presented as comedic put through a more realistically violent light (literally see gen loss vinny anvil scene)

also see: my t/rent reznor art, my t/im and e/ric art

saying "basically drawing gore of real people" is strange, while i wont deny the definiton of gore applies to something as "blood covered person", its usually a term thats always been reserved and used for way more lethal things, like dismembering and maiming. with subjects and media that doesnt have an "established limit of how much you can put someone in a violent situation", ill top it to just drawing things like what i first mentioned, how does this judgement apply to what i draw then? let's use vlinny which seems like a good example with lots of fandom history too:

(taken from his vinesauce wiki page) "his clone flesh will dissolve", while this isnt a vinesauce licensed trademarked (tm) description of a character, but rather a fanmade one, it still applies to what makes his basis, so, therefore: drawing vlinny with melting skin is okay because this is literally something that has been established by the person who came up with it, HOWEVER, anything farther or more violent than that while could still be true to the nature of the character, is something id preferably not to draw because it would cross the boundary of what has been visibly established by the source. this would be the same as me drawing joel ripping apart a demon from doom

BUT WAIT, what about the "hereditary" drawings? ill hand you the benefit of doubt and worry for these ones, because while they are a parody of one of the main characters (dont look this up if you dont want spoilers), i cant just draw a streamer dismembered and say "well duh its okay cuz its a parody", thats not how anyone's ideals should work, but i bring up the point again of limiting myself to what i consider is fair game established by either the source or general consensus, and i have yet to see people telling me OR others leaving commentary questioning stuff like blood

the type of art i make of VS is not a specific type of art id make only of this, but rather a type of style i already do by default and just apply to the topic im fixated on at the moment, if its something that is, like i already said, considered okay to do

its obviously a very blurred line what is the "limit" and how much you can stretch it, since none of the streamers are actors in a movie full of action, or characters in a videogame put in a fantasy setting, so unless its a "character" (vlinny, genloss vinny, joel as doom) my limit will always be "just cover the guy in ketchup" because this is, to me, the okay-est limit that doesnt cross the line to "now this is just getting borderline weird", im sure for someone else the line could be the guy having a small cut in their hand, and to someone else the line could be the guy being amputated completely (if this is your line get away from me, seriously)

now, at the end, why wouldnt i have replied to this if it wasnt asked nicely? while i dont think its a bad thing to ask (i will always be very open to discussion of my art) and i dont know how long you have been here and i dont expect you to tell me, i think if you have been around long enough or did a bit of research on my socials, you can see i hate a specific type of fan of media, especially media which involves irl people, and while it isnt a catch-all to say "hey im not a weirdo!", i think it helps make clear and establish that i dont have weirdo intentions at the very least. i am sorry that you have had bad experiences with fanartists of the community in the past, i cannot say because i hadnt been there (as a fanartist at least), so i cant blame you for being wary of what you might see drawn by me, and i am glad that despite these bad experiences you could have a grounded way to ask me instead of just accusing me, so that i really appreciate. id like to think i have made my "author's intent" clear with this reply, i have tried to be as descriptive yet clear as possible, but with some people you might not be able to ever clear your mind on what their intent is, and this is just my opinion but you wont be able to go knocking on every person's door asking if they are normal or not, and id never force someone to look at my art, if they dont like it or have stopped liking it, it is absolutely okay and its their right to curate their own online experience however they like, as i have curated mine

i also feel like this is something other people might have going around in their minds, but wont ask or dont want to ask, for whatever reason, and i dont think its something id suddenly begin randomly typing about one day. especially now that id like to be less talkative in social media for personal reasons

again, i hope this is clear enough, whether you keep looking at my art or not, i again appreciate that you enjoy or enjoyed it and that you could ask this in a grounded way

(edit) something i forgot to clarify, regarding why i draw such large quantities of art: i draw very fast so i can draw a lot, and VS is my current fixation, that's about it. a lot of the art you see posted regarding that is usually warmups prior to paid or personal work

#po/box

[yoodokjas]

the side stories are eating me up inside but like. just out of absurd curiosity. Out of all of the kimcom nebula+kdj ofc who would you choose to be your sponsor? objectively, no favorite characters. Just overall helpfulness, stigmas and stories strength, and of course "how easy would it be to put up with this person in the entirety of the scenarios" XD that is if they dont accidentally get you killed before the end, but thats why this should be objective lol

oh tbh i feel like my best bet as far as utilities go would be hsy or lgy. they are, all things considered, all rounders especially hsy's avatar skill and lgy's pathfinding abilities.

now i know that kdj's bookmark is hella useful and yjh's special skills are strong af but both of them (+jhw ljh and jhy) are main damage dealers and i wouldnt want that role in an apocalypse. plus lets be real both yjh and i are short tempered individuals. he would decimate within seconds bcs we'd get on each others nerves

sys is on the same lvl as lgy when it comes to utilities. her taming is super useful to have

ysa, tbh i dont rmbr much of her skills after reincarnation but she'd definitely be the easiest to hang with

and i wouldn't choose lhs and lsh either cuz i wouldnt want to be a party's shielder/healer either (tho it's super useful for myself i suppose)

so ig my choices would be (spoilers for the side story)

architect of the false last act

lotus under moonlight

sneaky schemer

just fingers crossed i get only one of them to choose from otherwise I'd have to wait until the 2nd sponsor selection

#ask #orv spoilers

[charmanderxerneas]

(going to be tagging this as ruin spoilers but please dont comment any spoilers because we're not actually done with all the game. We've gotten 2/3 endings and are working towards the secret ending where you have to find hidden cameras while also replaying and seeking out the secrets we missed. This is seriously just insane ramblings aimed at no one i just need to get my thoughts out and suggest u scroll past.)

I seriously like. Am struggling to figure out the whole plot of ruin in an analytical story timeline sense. No i do not read or care about fan theories, i interpret the game and the lore by playing it and looking at all the clues myself thank you very much, so my interpretation of the lore is. different from most fans (you have to consider: very autistic, fnaf a Huge special interest for me. So when i analyze lore, i analyze as much as i can, every single secret. And i feel like a lot of people Miss main lore secret plot points. Im not trying to be a contraian, id love for the fans to have good theories. But like 70% of the time they dont. Or theyre dumb lil kids who blindly listens to mat pat)

my interpretation of sb is different from most fans and theories (mostly because I actually take help wanted and ar into account and can like. Use my brain to understand the differences between the vanessas (there are two. The murderer vanny, who we play as in help wanted, is referred to in ar, and is the one in the therapist tapes) and vanessa the nightguard, who's COMPLETELY unrelated and just an innocent nightguard who happens to have the same name and face as vanessa murderer (though it is also possible to me that like. Murderer vanessa chose to try to look more like nightguard vanessa in an attempt to shift the blame of her crimes, but we dont know this for sure.)and i dont think the therapist tapes are two different people because thats STUPID and it obviously is murderer vanessa (people just. Cannot possibly understand that a person being possessed by an entirely different entity might have changes in her prrsonality. Or that a person with anxiety might have something similar to selective mutism or at the VERY least: troubles speaking because of said murderer in her brain)

ANYWAYS THATS A HUGE ASS TANGENT. MY MAIN THOUGHTS AS OF PLAYING RUIN RN (Please dont spoil things for me im not completely done) is that mainly: i dont know who is speaking to us or who mimic is.

There may be two different people communicating with us with the vanni network (as evidenced by helpi changing eye colors and how like. Some of the motives seem conflicting?) Initially i was like "oh its glitchtrap or williams spirit or something." But that doesnt make any sense because glitchtrap gets Trapped and is worked against.

Even tho that was my first thought: i dont think mimic is burntrap, or william, or glitchtrap. But i dont know what it is, because there are no other obvious characters that it could be in mind (tho since its michaels old fnaf 6 restaurant theyre in, and we saw the blob down there, god knows it could be any number of old ass animatronics or spirits)

Another very fuckin obvious thought is: hey where the fuck is vanny. With the whole mask mechanic, the plot revolving around glitchtrap, ect, you THINK we'd see her st least once. And though she has a cameo in the bad ending which is clearly a vision/fantasy/trick, she doesnt actually appear. The INSTANT That we started this game i speculated: is she talking through helpi? The yellow eyes reminded me of an early sb teaser artwork where we see a close up of a vanessas face with striking, yellow eyes, and i was never sure the significance of that... But i dont think its related at all, as mimic seems to be the one speaking when helpi has yellow eyes. Is mimic related to vanny somehow? I wouldnt assume so.

Whats weird about vanny not being there is it makes it seem like shes not carrying out glitchtraps bidding, which is odd. Dont y'all come at me with that "Gregory helped her!" Crap, the burntrap ending is the canon ending so that never happened. It makes sense for her to be against him (shes never really been on her side, shes the RELUCTANT follower. She explicitly does not want to do any of the horrible shit, but shes beinf forved to) but i just. Gahh i cant figure it out

I WILL figure it out just you wait. I will figure out what my interpretation of the lore as so good as soon as I finish the game just you wait

#fnaf spoilers #ruin spoilers

[431989]

okay fuck it we ball im posting resident alien stuff here. hyperfixation time. spoilers below so be warned.

im sooo bummed over the recent ep. the gripe i have w every single piece of media happened agaiiinnnnn. can i have ONE thing that doesnt force relationship arcs. especially ones that dont fit the initial or continuing tone of the shoooow. <--- edit again to clarify. i loved the tone of s1. i want that back. its getting too comedyish.

like i rlly connected w harry esp the fact he wasnt really getting infatuated with anyone but this whole horned up episode was grating to watch. like i still think there were sweet moments but boooo 🍅💥🍅💥 im hoping its just for some sort of conflict and that itll get squashed come the next few eps. (ALSO EDIT: at least the thing with harry and isabelle was palatable. gahhh im just peeved….)

s1 was so baller too like it had good clever comedy and still had drama to it. like im hoping the very like… bland surface level humor gets dialed back. like its soooo forced to me. but i guess thats what the average viewer likes which is dog doodoo. dont make it a sitcom please im begging. it was soooo unique.

i will be rewatching season 1 for the 5th time tonight but another thing i noticed is the increased use of like… musical scores. its like one step removed from a laugh track. gahh.

anyways im a harry asta supporter also harry joseph supporter so this forced stuff hurts to watch esp bc it doesnt fit character to me. considering harrys whole thing so far has been about developing and realizing connections, the sudden shift to horniness just! isnt consistent. not to be autistic or anything haha.

speaking of! i think its boring and cheap to have this alien/alien thing going on. and also feels really like.. “nd people can never fit in so they have to be with other nd people.” i think i wouldnt be so turned away if it was more genuine. but this is a comedy ig, i just wish it was handled differently. its uninteresting to meeeee. like an alien/alien thing can work but not like this. gives very nd are forever seen as weird and are therefor ostracized. like it feels othering to me. ESP BC OF HOW FORCED UGHHHHHHH i hate forced romance shit so much. perhaps thats an unpopular take but i said what i said! sudden nonmeaningful stuff like this i feel will kill the show. i wouldnt be surprised if it fizzles out.

UM ALSO? tudyk bringing up shape of water on insta abt the newest ep????? i dont think so???????? i never watched that but i kind of know what it was about and it certainly wasnt fish on fish love. smdh. like i feel like the reason why it was so big when it came out was (albeit as someone who hasnt watched it and have surface level understanding) bc it was between a lady and fish guy. and it was heartfelt. not to be harry asta or anything but that was already developing so like. AGHHHUU. even a harry joseph dynamic i can get around in a way bc theres room for development. also itd be gay so thats a plus.

anyways i might check out the graphic novels. told myself i wouldnt bc my brain works weird but maybe itd be a good idea to get into that. unfortunately i will probably be begrudgingly keeping up bc im hyperfixated on it. GAHHHGG anyways ramble rant over.

edit ps: i will also clarify that if asta were to be written out to be nd i would be just as pleased if not more pleased. im just not liking how this is going so far. tomato tomato tomato

#resident alien you couldve been so much more… #go back baby dont do all thsi…. #sorry bout sudden infodump post #i havnt been this attached to something in a really long time #sucks to see it change like this #couldve been like a bcs audience or dare i say spn with how crazy those days were #but its gotten so much more like.. bland and less thoughtful to me :-/ #oh well #i think my fear kind of is the fact even the teams not a fan of the.. harry asta stuff. so the bird ladys just going to be a perma addition #its too forced for me peace and love #ra posting #clarifying i think my fandom days are over and also i do not want to repeat my middleschool-highschool fandom era but in terms of like #amount of viewers and support for a show. THATS what i mean by spn era. minus all the weird stuff. #anyways im a hater now (kind of but not really but also i am)

[arcaneyouth]

Hmmm.... top 10 OCs and why you like them! Also allowed is just giving their entire backstory with each answer.

OH FUCKIN BOY this ones almost definitely going under a read more thanks

1) JOE!!!!

ironically i cant explain this one in detail sorry thats still spoilers. we are getting there in my comic i fucking promise just give me. another year. or two. fuck. anyways he's just!!!! he's my silly!!! he helped me figure out a lot about myself and what i wanted from the world and i kind of accidentally processed some of my biggest traumas through him and because of that every day he is a reminder that life continues, the time will pass anyways, tomorrow will always come, and fear of something ending does not have to control you

2) amedeo my fucked up piece of shit amedeo. ive already written paragraphs upon paragraphs about him in several different places so i will refrain from doing it again and focus on Why he means so much to me. he's kind of! like a counterweight to what joe helps me with? like joe reminds me i have the freedom to do whatever i want with my life, and amedeo reminds me i still gotta fucking be nice to people or that will have consequences i dont want. if i were to live my life purely by what joe helped me figure out i wanted, i would become amedeo and thats like not. good ADGAHFS and i have fallen down that path before. and there was still hope for him. so theres still hope for me. hes also really pretty

3) oh fuck now i have to choose between my beloveds. UHHHHHH dara we're going dara. honestly she only gets this high up the list because shes joes girlfriend, but she is still really interesting and special to me. dara did genuinely awful things.... 70 years ago. things she has spent the rest of her life trying to make up for. she is a good person who is trying so hard. she also cant even see how hard shes trying and sabotages herself often. she is the narrator of the story and its not a role she can bear. because she knows its not her story to tell. so she hands it to theron and lets them paint her as a monster, lets everyone believe she deserves whats coming to her, that shes the scum of the earth. and she knows her side of the story will change things. and she does not give it. she thinks the best way to make up for everything shes done is to finally let theron speak. its their story. and she is their villain. she knows its true. even as shes still trying, still trying to help people, still trying to survive one day at a time, still trying to improve (even if shes not good at it). she is still therons villain. she wont take that from them

4) reverie somethings fucking wrong with them. and you cant even blame them for it. at least when i go on unreality spirals i can get someone to confirm things are real and thatll help pull me out of it. reverie cant trust a word anyone tells them because Nobody Else Is Real. They Are All Made Of Code. of course an npc would tell reverie the world is real. of course the ai living in the game would tell reverie the world is real. what else can they do. the only other player, the only other real person in this game, left them. and now its just reverie. they cant find meaning in a life theyve replayed hundreds and hundreds of times. they get trapped in their own head because thats the only thing thats real. and their head isnt filled with any comfort. they are much too far gone to be helped by the people who care about them. and so the people who care about them choose to make them worse.

reverie is interesting to me because they are an awful person who just needed to let someone hold their hand and help them through their hardest days, but i know if i was in their position, i wouldnt have accepted it either. shattering what little hope they had left was genuinely the only way to get them to snap out of it and want help. if theyd just had a hug, that they could consider real, maybe theyd have been ok. but they couldn't.

5) eden, girl got dragged down hard by reveries spiraling. got treated like less than a person by them so much she believed she wasnt a person either. and none of it really mattered, in the end. everything she went through was about reverie. never her. for the entire story up until that point, it had never been about her, and at her lowest point at least she thought she had some kind of meaning and purpose as she shoved her sword through reveries chest and killed them in a way they couldn't just respawn from. and none of that was about her either. just reverie. any emotions eden felt did not matter for the plot elysium wrote. edens tragedy just fucks me up because she goes through so much for nothing and she still has to just wake up the next day and keep going. and she will. she just has to find something that matters, to her

6) theron this kids fucked up theyre like 10 and experiencing horrors beyond their comprehension

7) elysium,,,,, shes really pretty and also shes trying so damn hard to save reverie but the only way she can do it is to ruin their AND eden's lives. she's a good person. she writes the story and there was nothing she could do!! she just wants everyone to love the world she helped create for them and they Cant and that breaks her heart. she looks like shed give warm hugs and hand me a juice box

8) rowena. somethings wrong with her <3 she is kind, she is awful, she kills for her own fucked up sense of justice, she is the kindest person theron has ever met, she justifies innocent bystanders getting caught in her wrath because if they didnt want to die maybe they shouldnt have been on the wrong side, she is giving a 10 year old reason to hope and love again. she genuinely cannot be considered a good or bad person because every move she makes helps AND harms others at the same time. shes fun!

9) raid, they are another player of the game just like reverie (tho they dont know each other) and they are so comfortable with their life and they make me so happy. they wake up on a day theyve seen hundreds of times, and ask themself what they can do to make it special. life is what you make of it, and raid has made it into a love letter to everything thats ever existed. they have no control over when the resets and reloads happen since reverie is always doing it before they can even consider it, and they are ok with that. they really have a grip on what a joy it is to simply be alive

10) I CANT CHOOSE. FUCK YOU

#asks #WAAAAA THEM #MY BELOVEDS

[rigatoniiiiiiii]

I'll hear your rant and that's some nice art

YIPPEEEEE

ok keep in mind this was written at 2 AM and I had JUST met fp for the first time so i had a lot of disorginized thoughts. I have no idea if it’ll be understandable but fuck it we ball

Will put it under the cut cause it’s long, and also contains spoilers

so those tapestries in fp’s rooms led me to the wiki and i found myself reading about the ancients (im fine with this spoiler because i probably wouldnt have figured it out ingame anyways ahbsbshd)

And the Great Problem of wanting to break out of a cycle and ascend without voidfluid. The ancients wanted to ascend more than anything so they created this whole religion out of it. And it seems that they regarded anything that showed earthly attatchment as sinful, because it would prevent them from ascending. The tapestries depict things like violence/wrath, sexual intimacy, friendship/sharing/material goods, and survival, with the karma symbols, so it seems they deemed these things as bad if they wanted to ascend. What gets me the most is the last one, that survival and self preservation may have been considered bad. It makes me think about the dichotomy of five pebbles and moon. Fp, who wanted to escape the cycle so badly and fix the problem and ended up making a literal cancer which he slowly dies to. And then moon, who even when she only has 5 nuerons, still holds on and values life and *wants to keep living*, despite it all. I dont have a thesis or a main point to make. However it seems to me that the ancient’s perception of survival and striving to live is thematically connected to the stories of pebbles and moon. The way it’s connected isn’t quite tangible to me (perhaps because of the nature of the game), but it is connected.

#rain world

[honoringthehorrific]

I watched Martyrs (2008) so you dont have to…

Spoilers ahead in this review! However i try to be as vague as possible incase anyone reads this and wishes to delve in regardless.

Starting off I don’t recommend this movie. I didn’t do much digging into it before watching and came out the other end horrified at what i had just been a witness to. I know that opinion is going to catch a lot of back lash too considering the movie’s almost cult like following (pun intended.)

The movie tells an interesting tale of trauma, abuse, and revenge. Bearing witness to it initially i believed it was going to be a simple movie. Some sort of revenge story. However when the revenge was enacted almost immediately it left me wondering what was next.

A question i found myself asking over and over as my partner and i watched was “how long is left” and “how much longer are they gonna drag this on” the violence is uncomfortable to say the least and something that while i did sit through it i wished I hadn’t. This movie had me constantly wishing i had chosen something else and even wanting to turn the damn thing off half way in but I regrettably persisted.

One thing that irritated me greatly, Things go south with an hour left in the film as our protagonist Ana goes into the basement to find that her friend’s claims were not false. Earlier in the movie one of the people that lusie attempted to murder is still alive and Ana breaks her trust by trying to help the woman because she doesn’t think lusie has the right people. This help is in vain as we see that the woman wouldnt have survived the help regardless. Ana goes down the hatch and finds a woman, sarah who was put through the same depravity lusie was. She removes her and shows her kindness by removing the torture devices but sarah is almost like a feral animal at this point and is terminated by the cult.

The last 30 minutes of the movie are entirely wretched. When people talk about exploitation films i think this is at the peak. 30 minutes of a woman suffering to become what this cult deems a martyr. The final act is sealed with a fleshy bow on top as ana is skinned alive. She is revered for enduring this and telling what the torture has made her see and in the end none of it matters. There is no closure. We do not hear ana’s account and the only woman who did blows her fucking brains out before she can tell.

I hated this movie and its ending and while it had some interesting commentary and beautiful cinematography along with beautiful effects it was also just gut wrenching. I found myself begging the director in that last 30 minutes for a glimmer of hope and got none. I have seen people humanize and try to explain this cult’s actions…i do not feel like fearing life after death is a worthy cause for such behavior. And if people on reddit who have analyzed this ending far better than i ever could are correct. If the leader truly killed herself because ana saw nothing but void. If she did not want to live with the burden or burden the other members with the knowlege that their depravity was for nothing i do not think that is heroic or martyr like. It is depraved. You are left with the knowlege that this cult will continue opperation. Continue to try and make another martyr. That Ana’s death and all the ones before didnt matter.

In the end we are told to keep doubting. Something incredibly bitter tasting to hear. In the end we are left with dissatisfaction and deep regret and mental wounds from the pointless horrors we have just consumed.

I do not recommend this movie. I typically love things that are a bit dark and maybe a bit depraved. I love guts and gore and blood. But this was just something that left a dirty taste in my mouth… i give it a 2/10 for its beautiful work visually and its effects. Nothing more, nothing less. If you want similar existential commentary or questioning talk to a friend or find a good internet forum instead and you’ll find just as much substance. If you wish to see martyrs regardless of what I’ve warned just remember, you can’t shoot the messenger but you can shoot your kidnappers.

#horror #not an aesthetic #regurgitated reviews #martyrs #martyrs (2008) #horror movie

[snailfen]

(regarding the five pebbles and seven red suns ship) i feel like when it comes to the iterators either interpretation could be valid?? like some people interpret them as friends, some interpret them as family

like, lttm says "one of [pebble's] friends" when talking about suns, and then suns themselves says (paraphrasing a bit) "as a long time friend" on the pearl they send to him

in regards to the ancients calling themselves the iterators parents, i always felt like it was akin to the way some religious people say that everyone is a children of [insert god here] or something, like a metaphor

sorry for the anon jumpscare i'm a bit nervous, the last thing i want is to be called a pr/shitter- i just personally have always interpreted them as friends

no no youre good cus im not looking to cause shit myself! im just confused. if anything i was nervous to ask anything cus ive heard some people in the rw discord are quick to dispute this whenever its brought up about shipping the two and as someone whos been around fandom for a long time thats a preeeetty bad sign.

also same here abt seeing suns and pebs as just friends, its just that now that ive returned to rw a few years later and looked into the lore pearls again that i think its implied that iterators would see eachother as somewhat related perhaps?

i didnt think about the iterators being considered like "children of (godlike figure)" but in hindsight, thats also a possibility. In the lore pearl that this is brought up they also say that five pebbles is "their gift to the world" or something like that, and that seems to fit with that theme as well...

and yeah, when it comes to all forms of art, no interpretation is truly wrong. i think the main point that bothers me aside from the possibly siblings stuff is i feel like this isnt what people should be getting out of the iterators plotline? like shipping is fun. it is for fun. im not gonna go after people for that! but i also feel like people should be taking a step back and appreciating the characters for what they are and not for what they could be. if that makes sense?

about your second point, i have something to say about that but its MAJOR downpour spoilers, specifically for the rivulet and the spearmaster campaigns so im just gonna put it under a readmore

in the rivulets campaign, when asking the rivulet to do one last thing for him, pebbles calls moon "an old friend" himself (in fact thats what the achievement for finishing rivulet is called). moon very explicitly sees pebbles as a younger brother and expresses this at the end of the campaign. and in the spearmasters campaign theres those satellite things that show iterator logs when touched, and we get to see 2 iterators (from what i assume to be a neighboring group) gossiping about pebs, one of them brings up the fact that pebs was built near moon and the other asks "Isn't she his senior enough to the point where she calls herself 'Big Sis Moon'?". Its much more explicit that moon views her group as her younger siblings but pebs still calls her an old friend of his regardless!

last of all, someone said this in the tags of my post but looking at the lore pearl convo between pebbles and suns as well as the one between suns and wind really gives suns the impression of an older sibling, at least it does to me. also, back to those satellites in the spearmasters campaign, suns says that pebbles always looked up to them and they never took that lightly. srs is someone pebbles considers close because he looks up to him!

Their dynamic is something interesting to me now bc of downpour and im all about bullshitting and reading into things a little bit more for ships, but looking at SRS and FP.... how do i describe it. i dont really feel like theres SPACE for shipping in this case? like it wouldnt be necessarily invalid but its kinda missing the Point of the spearmasters campaign i feel. infact i feel like this is the only reason people see seven red suns as male despite none of the other iterators having specified genders (unless the dlc confirmed a gender for suns, then i missed that). anyways this last paragraph is just me rambling oops

#not putting this in the main tag #but im just throwing my opinion out here! im not saying people CANT ship characters. if someone takes this as me trying to say that i SWEAR #TO GOD #i just like. ok i dont wanna call this a case of shipping goggles its not THAT bad. but i wish that people wouldnt HAVE to ship things to #stay engaged with media #yknow what i mean? #asks #rain world downpour spoilers #rain world spoilers

[rouge-heichou]

Are you trying to pull Cyno? I wish you luck on your pulls!!! I pulled for Zhongli on his last banner and my primogems still have not recovered. 🥲

Also if you don’t mind me asking, how do you feel about spoilers? I did a lot of quests before I did Dainslief’s quest (which may have jumbled the order of events slightly for me) and I’m not sure how much of them would be considered as spoilers for the future, but I’d rather be safe than sorry if you are trying to avoid spoilers.

The only one I'm actively trying to pull is Diluc honestly XD Xiao and/or Ayato would be nice when the time comes and Keqing or Razor along the way for Diluc so i can finally ditch Lisa would be nice.

I wouldnt be mad about Tighnari either now that he's on the standard banner...

My last pull was Qiqi who, ... i dont hate but she's basically a better Kaeya which makes me sad because i wanna keep maining Kaeya for some time.

Ah, I dont mind spoilers thaaaaat much? I mean, avoiding late game spoilers would be nice but aside from that its fine, i think more often than not experiencing something myself is still different enough than someone telling me about it so that i can enjoy it :) thank you for asking but youre good to go!

[livecharliereaction]

Bye tsumihoroboshi

thats all for tsumihoroboshi chapter ZAMN. omfg i did cry i cant lie at that big battle on the rooftop i did i did i did.. It just hits a litte close to home friendship and all that... I love my friends so mach i get everything theyre feeling u know... AND the delusions of rena what a crazy writing style i dont think ill get over it like ever. urgh. Well the final tip almost wanted me to consider that "ooh maybe she was right!" but honestly my takeaways from it are juts 1. disaster happens regardless no matter how the events go otherwise 2. rika was murdered? Thats pretty weird 3. BUT theres hope liek she said BECAUSE: keiichi rememberd something from "another world" (i know a timeloop when i see one. its def a timeloop. Hells yeah) 4. the scrapbooks do hvae some evil spell or something takano i am onto you its weird anyway she shows up at such times and all.. Idk if shes the #MAIN VILLAIN DEMON OMG but shes Something.

Rena i love you thank you for solidifying your place as my favorite good time. argh every chapter so far is better than the one before it goes for this one too it does it does... Which is amazing implications for next ones... Lets hope they keep it up...

And keiichi i cant lie i do love you. I love you i love you i love you. Ughh. If i was still 16 hed have a big chance at going to that kinlist. But hes so gross so i wouldnt actually have added him then either!!! im unable to kin these days because EVERY GOOD CHARACTER EVER has Some Traits I Can Relate To Myself becuase i dont know something something human emotion something i am just like everyone else and everyone is just like me in the end and i love it. But yeah keiichi love the guy hes so #Power of Friendship #Protagonist. Im mentioning this cos i loved the girls from the start and still do but keiichi had to prove himself a little...

Yeah im curious about satoko now too i dont think i paid her enough mind i sort of ended up assuming shes #Normal but just super close to rika obviously but that one line about her being older. I couldnt tell yet if its Haha satokos body is older and rikas being funny! OR Omg satoko some immortal or something too woww! but yeah. I wouldnt think she is it doesnt seem that way at all BUT u never know w this fuckass series..ou ou ou ou ou

Mion i love you the girl that you are. Rena you are everything and more. Rika how have you managed to stay mysterious ive been here for like over 30 hours total for sure maybe even 40. But hmm

if its a timeloop i still cant tell what its about. id say rikas in charge (wants to keep giving this world a chance) n takano is with the antagonistic forces But how does it work exactly? If rikas the one "looping the time" directly it doesnt really compute unless she can do it from the afterlife. I dont konw.

And Omfg i hate this series because i STILL believe satoshi will show up one day. Even though it seems impossible now. But i liked him n shion so much dude i love shion so satoshi HAS TO come back for her. Urgh urgh urgh

But yeah i fr didnt think keiichi would be able to break renas delusion even for such a long moment But he pulled it off. Shes really cool i love her. I love her i love her i love her. UGHHH. Everything and more. and i said it alr but ill say it again the portrayal of her delusional state is SO personal to me i get her i get her i DO so good... Urghh. Ok. Thank u charhigurashi6 i have to check how many games the bundle i bought still has hmm

ok these 3 i own but havent installed lets see The first one here is um well i dont know that girl i havent seen her which is concerning! I feel like i mightve seen a sprite (in the og style that i read with) but thats kinda it. I recall seeing a name somewhere too shes a furude i think but not too sure Im always frustrated when i see a spoiler like that but then it never makes me any more knowledgeable about anything so so far its fine #LOL. proably has to do with the demon stuff tho...

takano in the middle one right takano you are so weird and offputting. Damn maybe she IS the big bad afterall

last one aww rika But yeah thats. I dont know its at least 5 hrs each but i think i spent like 10+ hrs on meakashi so it could possibly be up to like what. 15 even 20? per game. At least 15 hours left though.. Idt theres anything outside of the bundle after this its either higu anime time or umineko time ill see what kinda time i have then (i can probably watch the anime while multitasking i dont really care so much but umineko i want to be TUNED. IN.)

yay exciting ok thank u charhigurashi6 best chapter so far loved it love u rena love u everyone ok gn

#charhigurashi6

[bubsub69]

Entry 5

21/05/2023 15:00

FUCK

FUCK THIS FUCKING SHIT IT FUCKING HAPPENED SHES DONE WITH ME SHE THREW OUT THE TRASH SHES GOTTEN SICK OF THE ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT THAT KEPT FUCKING BOTHERING HER BECAUSE I COULDNT KEEP MY DISGUSTING FUCKING MOUTH CLOSED.

after asking about moving on thursday i asked if she was free yesterday (saturday) and i asked again today. and i guess i finally depleted her patience she kicked me to the curb like the filth that i am

"Tonic by I’ll be unpacking - my roommate decided she wanted to get living alone so I have to move into my ex’s guest room 😭. Which means I’m going to put domming on hold till I have my own place!"

guess thats her way of making me leave her alone, guess ill have to stop being a nuisance to her, i probably wouldve prefered honestly but i guess i dont deserve that, she probably has the experience of giving said honesty and having the other person freak out, i guess its fair, maybe i would freak out like the little shit that i am.

she is saying she is excited for her own place but i doubt she'll even remember me by that time, gonna be one of the many losers she had to dump but i guess if she finally texts firsts saying she's gonna get her own place hopefully ill at least lose my anxiety with her.

i even started trying to talk to other doms on fetlife cause i was losing hope but i didnt expect finally being cutoff to hurt this much, had to hold a lot of tears at grandmas house and while doing cafe chores. well back to trying to find someone thatll settle for a piece of shit like me, after holding her puke from seeing my face and not minding that im the least interesting person in the world with no hobbies and that has no communications skills and is probably too shitty at giving affection but expects to receive it back, maybe thats karma for trying to find someone else and locking myself up with another keyholder, guess thats what i get for trying to talk to many people at once and not just being patient

even the keyholder has ignored my problem of not having the wheel working but oh well shes probably even busier considering shes a mod on chaster and also manages a whole ass discord of.. wow i just checked 500+ people, not everyone is locked probably but fuck me thats a lot more than i thought

hopefully i can move on and not cry everytime i look at telegram, just the first of many future painful "breakups" until i find someone thatll settle, or who knows maybe i dont deserve to be a burden on someon else

sorry for the edgy entry i just, i really thought i had a shot with her, i might still have but this was such a punch in the gut, hopefully she gets back to me, im gonna go completely radio silent, id uninstall the app if that didnt mean losing notifications, though maybe shed text through reddit, nah she wouldnt go through all that trouble, its just back to being patient as usual but without the hope this time (spoiler from the future i didnt ghost her, shocker)

maybe one day i get to open this diary with really great news but today is not the day

#Diary