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a-hazbin-reader · 3 months

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I just found your blog today and OUUUGHHH ALL THE X READERS ARE SOOO GOOD? ESPECIALLY THE PLATONIC ONES? WE LIVE FOR THE CHAOTIC Y/N <3 FUCK EM UPPPP <333

If you're looking for ideas, what about a reader that is friends with both Rosie and Alastor and notices that the reader is catching feelings for Alastor? I think she'd be support them, maybe poke Alkastor since he's not likely to get the hint wioth reader not saying it directly lol

Thank you for considering and I hope you're having fun out there! Ur favs loooove yooou <33

This is just so adorable????

Rosie X Reader Headcanons

Plus a little Alastor X Reader too

❌️Romantic

✅️Platonic

TW: Reader being BULLIED with affection, Rosie interferes with everything, Romantic Alastor X Reader

Description: ☝️⬆️

Rosie claims that matters of the heart are her specialty, and who is anybody to disagree with her??

She is quick to identify what someone is feeling and her friends are no exception to the rule

So when she notices you're starting to act strangely around your mutual friend Alastor...she's quick to figure out what's going on with you

You and Alastor are having drinks together and you're laughing a little too much?? Cheeks a little too pink?? Oh she saw that

Alastor is singing and dancing?? Rosie couldn't help but notice that you were completely enraptured by him, hanging onto every moment

You also happen to have a bad habit of looking away whenever Alastor compliments you, trying to hide a blush perhaps?

Well aren't you just adorable

Now Rosie won't corner you or anything like that, she won't pry the truth out of you even if she's dying to

But she does kind of trick you into admitting you're feelings to her, inviting you out for the day and slyly bringing Alastor up

You're so cute when you're flustered and choking on your drink

"Now now~ There's nothin' to be embarrassed about! Just let Rosie know what you're feelin' and she'll sort it out for ya!"

She's so good to you

"I guess my head has kinda been all over the place lately..."

Rosie slowly gets the truth to come out of you, and boy, is she pleased as punch to find out you're falling in love with Alastor

All Rosie wants is her two friends to be happy and if she can make it happen?? She'll make it happen, she's putting all her cards on the table for this one

She promises you that she won't tell your secret or intervene in any way

But she forgot to tell you that her fingers were totally crossed

Rosie tries to start out small and subtle, even visiting the hotel and getting the others involved

Suddenly everyone is talking about you and how talented you are, how lovely you always look, what you did today

"Y/N, look at that outfit! You look fucking hot today!"

"Uh..thanks Angel..?"

Charlie and Vaggie are always pairing you and Alastor together for anything they can think of

Niffty has suddenly taken to tripping you in front of Alastor but you needn't worry, he always catches you

Husk tries to stay out of it initially but even he gets caught up in it, admitting you two would be good together

Even random people on the street are giving you extra attention whenever you're out with Alastor

Alastor can't seem to get you out of his head all of a sudden, can't shake the intrusive thoughts of you

No matter

When being subtle doesn't work then Rosie switches gears, taking a page out of Niffty's book

No she's not going to trip you

Finds excuses to have you run errands for her, somehow always leading you to bumping into Alastor

And Alastor, ever the gentleman, always walks you back and keeps you company along the way

He finds himself getting more and more fond of you, more so than he was before, he feels a little strange

Finds himself wanting to be closer to you, seeing you in a different light than before, were you always so pretty to look at???

Rosie is pleased with her progress but annoyed by the fact that Alastor still hasn't taken a hint and that you still haven't confessed

That's fine, she's got ways

She starts having flowers and little gifts sent to you when she knows you're with Alastor, faking a secret admirer

Oh he doesn't like that

Alastor feels something ugly twist in his gut when he sees your face flush as you delicately pick at the flowers, flattered

After the fourth gift that was sent to you Alastor started to get more than annoyed, trying to figure out who was taking up your attention

Imagine his surprise when the paper trail leads back to Rosie

Okay now he's legitimately worried about losing you, Rosie is a smooth she-devil

"Alastor! What brings you here-"

"I know what you've been up to, my dear."

Rosie isn't nervous, but she's definitely surprised that he figured her out, she was only trying to help you out

Alastor skips all the pleasantries and immediately just asks her if she's trying to court you

Oh...so he got it wrong...that's hilarious

"Oh my stars~! No no no~!" She literally can't stop the laughter at this point

Now Alastor is confused, why was she pretending to be your secret admirer then?

Rosie tries to lead Alastor to his own conclusion about why she did it but all of a sudden he's turned into an idiot

She really doesn't want to out your secret

But she also has been working towards this for months now

So she blurts out the fact that you're in love with him and that she's been trying to set you both up together this entire time and it feels so good to let it all out and-

Alastor simply holds a hand up to stop her, looking a little overwhelmed by the news but Rosie also detects a hint of relief??

Maybe he did grow an extra soft spot for you after all??

After confirming with Alastor that you did indeed explicitly tell her that you fell for him, Rosie watches him leave

She also refuses to apologize for interfering in his love life, a girl has gotta look out for her friends

She honestly doesn't know which way things are going to go but is pleasantly surprised when you give her a ring the next day

"Rosie! Are you free today? You won't believe what happened last night! I can't wait to tell you!"

They should call her Cupid from now on

She always hounds you for the details on your dates and is always giving Alastor tips on what you would like

"Come now, was snuggling really all you two did after dinner?"

"R-ROSIE-"

"Oh Alastor, you should really get those earrings for Y/N~! They would absolutely sparkle on them~!"

Tells everyone that she's the reason you two are together, she's just so proud of herself

She wants to plan your wedding for you

WOAH

This one was such a cute idea!! I really hope it's what you wanted!!

#hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin x reader #alastor x reader #hazbin x reader #rosie x reader #rosie hazbin hotel x reader #rosie hazbin x reader

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yanderestarangel · 6 months

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HEADKANONS MK1 | TRIO LIN KUEI | "WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO EXCHANGE NUDES WITH THEM?/HOW THEY SEND NUDES?

˚｡⋆.☆Do you want to make a request? Read my blog rules in the pinned post, comments and reblogs are welcome♡

TW: afab anatomy, pet names, dirty talk, pussy talk, whining, nude exchange, mutual masturbation, m!masturbation, smut, nsfw, sex phone, porn plot only.

♡ 𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐕𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐃𝐀 | 𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄 ♡

You two would be two needy and horny boyfriends, especially Tomas. He always wanted a photo of your body, be it breasts, thighs, belly, ass or gif of your lips - these are his favorites, because he can imagine his cock wrapped around your mouth - just a big boy with extreme lust!

However, your dear boyfriend is very shy and he is also afraid of someone seeing the messages and explicit content that you exchange on your cell phone. He has a folder with a password with all your photos and videos - when he goes traveling with the Lin Kuei and does some mission, he always sees your nudes and videos of you masturbating for him, your fingers digging into your pussy while he smiles, imagining being with you at that moment, letting out passionate sighs with each click to move to a different photo of you, he felt his dick throbbing strongly, as he went to relieve himself in the shower, taking his cell phone while biting his lip to keep from making any noise, going and coming with his hand on his thick length - he's definitely the type to turn into a shaking, confused mess, babbling as if you were there, kneeling with his dick in his mouth, clutching his cell phone tightly, he would definitely end up cumming all over you of the screen and a photo of you, in the heat of the moment -

The nudes he sends you are often a little shaky, most of them he will already be masturbating to you. You'll have to ask sometimes, because he's afraid of bothering you with his photos.

They are simple nudes, with Tomas holding his dick from top to bottom, giving you a view of his throbbing and willing member, or with him standing up, the camera takes in Tomas' face and naked body, while he looks indirectly at his cell phone, biting his lower lip and sending a gif like this, masturbating for you with the caption: "Fuck baby, look what you did to me... Help me cum, please."

He's also not very shaved down there, with a trimmed path of white hair that goes from his navel to the base of his dick, but it's nothing that bothers him.

♡ 𝐁𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐍 | 𝐒𝐔𝐁 𝐙𝐄𝐑𝐎 ♡

This man is extremely horny, Bi Han is the type of man that if you touch his arm he will already have a hard-on - obviously, this only applies if the two of you have an intimate relationship, with you being his S/O - However, he is also an elegant and classy man, he won't ask you for nudes directly, but if you send them to him as a surprise, he won't complain, just smiling beneath the mask while typing compliments every time - photo or video - his favorites are the ones with you completely wet because you just got out of the shower, your breasts with water droplets, your pussy tight and ready for him, while he held himself back from abandoning all his lin kuei commitments that day and fuck you for the rest of the day - he will look at photo by photo, video by video, gif by gif.

"Fuck (Y/N) you're going to drive me crazy like this..."

"You're so fucking hot... Fuck, I'm going to fuck you so much, I'm going to fill that beautiful pussy with my cum"

"And those breasts? Just waiting to be fucked, aren't they? I can imagine my cock between them."

And so on, he knows how to mix dirty talk with soft compliments directed at you. Bi Han likes to see nudes throughout the day, even with a huge erection in his pants, he will just look at the videos mentally thanking him for having such a beautiful S/O, and also thinking of ways to punish you for making him hard in the work, like fucking your pussy with all your might while holding your neck, even recording it as a souvenir.

The grand master's nudes are more provocative, he likes to make you feel comfortable, sometimes he will be in training and send you a photo without a shirt, exposing his muscles and with the hem of his pants lowered a little, at the level you you can see the base of his shaft, full of veins. He knew you were going to get wet, he knows how much power he has over you, so he loves to play with it, making you beg for more of him.

He will also send semi-nudes, with a towel wrapped around his waist, his thick dick marking the soft white fabric, as you watched the gif, with Bi Han lightly grabbing his own dick, loose and wet hair falling on his muscular shoulders as he smiled roguishly, a mischievous smile on the side and damn, that was fucking hot!

He was finally going to send more explicit videos, letting the towel fall in front of the mirror, exposing his thick and pulsing cock, which was already reaching his navel, leaking pre semen on the fat crimson tip, stroking himself lightly with light hoarse moans, he's not the type who writes subtitles and yes, speaks in the video or sends audios after such an act.

"-Do you want my dick in your pussy my little bunny? Mmm, you make me so hard, I'm going to fuck your little pussy until you get pregnant." Bi Han spoke in the video, huskily, smiling smug as he stroked the proud length, even on video, you could feel his dominance.

"-Understand my call my dear, I want to hear you play, just cum with me for now ok? I promise I'll get home as soon as possible." - yes, Bi Han loves a good 'sex phone' especially on those lonely early mornings when he can't see you, which always ends with him giving you orders on how to touch yourself and show him, and he loves every damn second of it -

He is also not very shaved, he has hair on his chest and abdomen, going down to the base of his dick, however, it is also trimmed, giving a sexy touch to his appearance.

♡ 𝐊𝐔𝐀𝐈 𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐆 | 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎𝐍 ♡

Kuai Liang is a stressed and tired man, however, he loves to please you, seeing your pleasure and happiness makes him happy, and your nudes help his stress decrease. He is not a very sexual man, however, he will not deny a good photo of your naked body on his cell phone, in fact he is famous for saying: "Soft-hearted and hard dick." you do that to him. He is a man with thighs and pussy, Liang will love it if you simply send him a photo wearing a loose shirt, it doesn't even have to be completely nude, just semi-nude will make this man with a hard dick and happy, smiling at the cold cell phone screen, He's not the type to talk, he shows.

If you send a nude, he will send one back.

His nudes are generally more aesthetic, with a mix of light and shadow, showing his hard dick exposed and slightly crooked to the side, above his abdomen, with an orange light bathing his well-worked muscles - with the caption: "That was it what did you want to do? Make me hard? Congratulations, you did it."

Kuai Liang will send short videos of himself masturbating, and lightly tapping his hard shaft on the camera, as if he was hitting his dick in your face, you could see his lips curling into a smile in the background. Kuai Liang will also use lubricants, applying it to the shaft and tip of the dick, massaging and overstimulating himself while looking at the explicit photos of your wet and hot pussy, the poor pyromancer was hotter than normal, needy for you - he also already sent a video, with a silicone masturbator, moaning and complaining that the sex toy didn't compare to your body.

"-Fuck... Damn, this doesn't compare to you, my prince/princess..." Kuai Liang moaned in the video, as he hit his hips on the masturbator, even in the dim light of the room you could see his thick shaft fully cumming, coming and going, making you even more needy for him.

He is always shaved, completely smooth.

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

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halcyone-of-the-sea · 9 months

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Wow! As the header says, my blog just went past 5k followers - I'd like to extend a heartfelt thank you to everyone who hopped on for this journey; I'm having the time of my life sharing my writing with you all.

In celebration and as a way to have a little fun - I'll be opening my inbox for a day and letting those who want to send in something fill it up!

Now, I know you're probably asking yourself 'Hal, I thought you said requests are going to be closed so you can finish the ones you have and work on the AUs?' And you'd be correct - I did say that. I'm not going to be writing full-length works for this event.

To anyone who sends something in (and follows the rules I have in place on my Request Form (be sure to check it even if you've already read it, I added some more characters and other stuff)) I'll be writing one-to-two page drabbles!

All this being said, after this post is uploaded I'll be opening my inbox up to anyone who would want to participate and closing it exactly one day after!

Thank you again for being the best community ever - I'm incredibly lucky to be surrounded by kind and respectful individuals as well as mutuals who are mind-numbingly sweet. I could not have achieved all of this without you; I think that's beautiful.

This post will also serve as the Masterlist for all of the expected drabbles, so if you'd like to keep updated on what's going to be happening/being written soon, this would be a good place to hang out!

ALL COMPLETED AS OF 11/5/2023

IMAGES USED: A black retriever in an extensive mountainous landscape by Maud Earl & L'angelo, la morte e il diavolo by Roberto Ferri || TOTAL: 5

➣The Perfect One

╰┈➤ ❝ [He stares at the rings under the glass with an acute narrowness to his eyes. He inspects every one as if a bomb might go off at any second, not missing a single detail in the metal.] ❞

➣Get In

╰┈➤ ❝ [Coming home with bruises and stitched wounds, you drag him into the bathroom to wash away the memories.] ❞

➣Hum Me A Tune, Blue-Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [You listen to his heartbeat as he keeps you to his chest, his breath tickling your hair.] ❞

➣Here Now

╰┈➤ ❝ [He nearly misses one of the most important moments of your lives together.] ❞

➣Burst Veins

╰┈➤ ❝ [He never noticed you weren't behind him.] ❞

IMAGES USED: Fallen Angel by Roberto Ferri & Nature of Fear by Nicola Samori || TOTAL: 5

➣Nervous Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [No one understands how you two get along - not when you're so different. It makes you second-guess yourself. He notices.] ❞

➣Blood Like Obsidian

╰┈➤ ❝ [Simon can only fight against so many nurses as they shove him back from your operation room.] ❞

➣Supposed To Happen

╰┈➤ ❝ [You died and left him a child he had no idea existed. How can he even begin to try and understand?] ❞

➣Digging Gaze

╰┈➤ ❝ [You indulge in a one-night-stand after you'd both called it quits, only, it leads to more problems. When he sees you again, how will he react to the swelling of your stomach?] ❞

➣Sole Survivor

╰┈➤ ❝ [Your father died years ago, and so you fall under the stiff, and unyielding, protection of your Uncle Simon. But it's not all bad. He can be funny when he wants to be.] ❞

IMAGES USED: White and Black by Vadim Gorbatov & Saint Augustine by Philippe de Champaigne || TOTAL: 7

➣Didn't Mean It

╰┈➤ ❝ [Arguments are rare, certainly ones that leave you in tears.] ❞

➣Him, Her, and the Dog

╰┈➤ ❝ [The woes of pining after a woman whose deadly K9 looks like it hates his guts.] ❞

➣Drunken Sappiness

╰┈➤ ❝ [You can't say you've ever had a boyfriend as perfect as Kyle.] ❞

➣How Do You Listen To That?

╰┈➤ ❝ [It was three a.m. when you all got the call to load up, but what's the best way to wake both yourself and the Sergeant up?] ❞

➣Finally Broken

╰┈➤ ❝ [Childhood friends turned lovers. The realization was far more violent and instantaneous than you'd like to admit.] ❞

➣Don't Look At Her

╰┈➤ ❝ [The bomb starts ticking down, rapidly firing to zero. Gaz won't let Price near you. Not after he'd remembered the Captain's actions when they'd first met.] ❞

➣In His Head

╰┈➤ ❝ [Collection of his SFW and NSFW quirks.] ❞

IMAGES USED: Scene from the Great Flood by Joseph-Désiré Court & Saint Jerome in Prayer by Carlo Dolci || TOTAL: 7

➣Life Snaps By In Flashes

╰┈➤ ❝ [A collection of memories from the second he laid eyes on you. All flashing past in the soft buzzing of the overhead lights.] ❞

➣Heart-Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [Being a medic wasn't pretty, but when your boyfriend was the subject under your needle you can't help but enjoy his unwavering gaze. Today, he has something to share with you.] ❞

➣From Ten To Twenty & Beyond

╰┈➤ ❝ [You've known him ever since the incident on the playground, and now you can't help but imagine that same boy as you watch him make supper with flour in his hair.] ❞

➣Find Me

╰┈➤ ❝ [You're finally back in One-Four-One's hands, but that doesn't mean you're saved. Johnny tracks you down after a violent episode.] ❞

➣Still The Same Fools

╰┈➤ ❝ [There was always a rivalry between you two - that hasn't changed even if both of you have. Years later, the boiling point is finally met.] ❞

➣Is This Why?

╰┈➤ ❝ [He finally sees why you never introduced him to your parents.] ❞

➣Oblivious Pining

╰┈➤ ❝ [Johnny hangs off you like a silent beast. Not that you would notice, of course.] ❞

IMAGES USED: King Gustav III of Sweden and His Brothers by Alexander Roslin & Geography lesson by Eduard Karl Gustav Lebrecht Pistorius || TOTAL: 6

KEEGAN P. RUSS:

➣Paint The Dawn; Paint My Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [In the midst of war and death, there's little time for pleasure. All you had was a ripped-up sketchbook to call your own, its contents littered with the rough face of your comrade.] ❞

➣Hold Her Close

╰┈➤ ❝ [Keegan cares for his young daughter.] ❞

➣When The Fighting Stops & The Silence Sets In

╰┈➤ ❝ [Continuation of (Don't) Go To War: the aftermath of recovery and a budding relationship.] ❞

➣Movies and Stale Popcorn

╰┈➤ ❝ [Oak and Keegan finally get to watch that movie.] ❞

DAVID 'HESH' WALKER:

➣To The Boy of My Childhood

╰┈➤ ❝ [Ten years came and went fast, but the memory of the Walker boys stayed. One more than the other. You never got to tell him you loved him.] ❞

➣Keep The Sheets Warm, My Love Is Coming Home

╰┈➤ ❝ [If this wasn't enough to prove that you were the only person for Hesh, you didn't know what did.] ❞

IMAGES USED: Saint Catherine of Alexandria by Caravaggio & Amor Vincit Omnia by Caravaggio || TOTAL: 17

CAPTAIN JOHN 'SOAP' MACTAVISH:

➣New Paint

╰┈➤ ❝ [Fighting to forget you, MacTavish finds comfort in whoever he can. Yet, like the layers of paint on the walls, it always peels back to you.] ❞

➣A Song of Gnashing Teeth

╰┈➤ ❝ [There was never a day where the two of you weren't butting heads - everyone was at their wit's end. Of course, you would both be forced to cooperate at some point.] ❞

➣Listen To My Voice

╰┈➤ ❝ [He orders you to focus on him as the sounds outside the cell get closer. He promises nothing will happen to you. You know he's lying.] ❞

➣Look At The Stars; Look At Me

╰┈➤ ❝ [Stargazing in the middle of an overgrown and wild glade.] ❞

➣Alive and Breathing

╰┈➤ ❝ [You're sick. Very sick. John takes drastic action.] ❞

➣I Can See It In Your Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [It's finally time to meet the family.] ❞

➣A Green-Eyed Monster

╰┈➤ ❝ [You'd slept together, sure. No strings attached. Then why are you trying to make him jealous? Who cares, the point is that it's working.] ❞

SERGEANT GARY 'ROACH' SANDERSON:

➣Dance With Me Before The Chill Sets In

╰┈➤ ❝ [Tired? Yes, but he's never too tired for you and your loveliness. But maybe you need to remember to lock the door when you're home alone.] ❞

➣Raining Cats and Dogs

╰┈➤ ❝ [Roach has a deep love of storms.] ❞

OPERATION OFFICER ALEX KELLER:

➣Bright-Eyed History Lesson

╰┈➤ ❝ [A librarian with a fascination for war history and a soldier who loves how her eyes light up. Like a dog, he can't stop himself from coming back; smiling like a fool.] ❞

COLONEL ALEJANDRO VARGAS:

➣Hold Me Longer

╰┈➤ ❝ [Mornings spent in the sanctity of warm sunlight and bare skin.] ❞

SERGEANT MAJOR RODOLFO 'RUDY' PARRA:

➣A Love Like Ours Makes Us Strong

╰┈➤ ❝ [Rodolfo came back, alive but bruised. How do you explain how terrified you were?] ❞

COMMANDER PHILLIP GRAVES:

➣Sleeping On The Porch

╰┈➤ ❝ [As it turns out, your husband never really died. It's safe to say you're not overjoyed.] ❞

➣Love Echoes In Silence

╰┈➤ ❝ [You can feel him watching you, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a small smile. Humming to yourself, you listen to the birds outside the window.] ❞

SEBASTIAN JOSEF KRUEGER:

➣Ain't Giving Up My Pride

╰┈➤ ❝ [You get on his nerves, partially because you want to. But what happens when he finally snaps?] ❞

ALL 141 INCLUDED (SEPARATE):

➣Count The Hours

╰┈➤ ❝ [Collection of what the One-Four-One do on their down-hours with their Lovers] ❞

➣Wide-Eyed Panic

╰┈➤ ❝ [Why were you behind the couch?] ❞

#halcyone updates #cod #cod x reader #cod x you #call of duty #call of duty x reader #call of duty x you #cod x female reader #5k celebration #cod masterlist

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crookedkryptonitebeliever · 1 year

Text

Yandere Best Friend

Tw: childhood abuse, divorced parents, bullying, violence, angstt, parental neglect

ageless blogs n minors DNI blease tq <3

my masterlist

hi guys after a long hiatus i come back , coping mechanism time

i wrote this like from 11pm to 3am in a frenzy so dont exepct much , ridden wih typos, contradiction,grandma misrake and idk if the reader here is fully gender neutral or i accidentally sprinkled some afab in there

thersras like a part 2 to this so eyah stayetuned

enjoys

He was there from the very beginning, that quiet boy from elementary that you shared your sandwich with when no one bats an eye at him.

He was quiet, you were considered uninteresting. Both of you are somewhat outcasts and the other children held no interest towards you and him. Perfect match for each other, instant best buddies, bonded by mutual loneliness.

Well, maybe, not instant. He was weary and so were you, it took a while before you gained his trust. He made sure you didn't stuff nasty, gritty bugs in that sandwich like how all the other kids would do. You made sure he didn't accept it just to throw it in your face.

Once it was established that you didn't add an extra ingredient and he isn't going to play bread frisbee, the door to a long and strong friendship was established. He doesn't have much to say, but he's never short on kind gestures when it comes to you. Are your bags heavy? Let him carry them, he's a strong boy; he drinks his milk and gets his healthy amount of sleep. You forgot to do your 5th grade long division homework? He is going to swap his completed homework sheets with your empty ones, he's okay with being scolded. He has some stupidly thick skin from what goes on at home.

Your yoyo is really cool, you said. You own that yoyo now. No, really, it's okay. He doesn't really need it and it made you happy when you had it in your small hands. Yes, it took him months of begging his busy, overworked, broken, divorced, struggling, knee-deep in debt dad and a couple of missed lunches to get that shiny yoyo, but he loves seeing your surprised expression and dazzling smile.

Oops, you spilled your drink all over another classmate's book, or you broke a window, or you dented a teacher's car. It doesn't matter how many people witness it, it doesn't matter what you say, he's responsible and will gracefully accept all repercussions and punishments even if that means receiving a couple more ugly bruises on his body that night.

Who doesn't like candy? He sure loves them. That's why, he uses up all his already scarce pocket money to buy you some. You protest, he's confused, don't you like candy? Yes, he knows he won't be eating a lot these few weeks because he can't afford it, but don't you like candy?

Are your hands dirty from eating all that chocolate? Here, use his white shirt as a napkin. No, really, it's okay! He's your friend, he would do anything for you... are your shoes muddy too?

Happy birthday! It's a very special day for you and him too, that's why, he saved up enough to buy you a tasty cake and a pair of beautiful promise rings made up of gold! Isn't that cool? Don't worry about how he got the money and please ignore the giant, bloodied cotton gauze on his head, please ignore his black eye, please ignore the strange burn marks on his limbs. His extra injuries are due to... him falling off a bike. You know that's not true. That's not how he got them. He is going to be really sad if you don't accept his gifts, better just shut up, smile, say thank you, kiss the boo-boos away, stuff your face with delicious cake and wear the damn ring.

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night, goodbye, I love you and all the other greetings are something you hear everyday from him. Hm, the teachers are complaining that he isn't that polite to them or to the other children, all they get are silent blank stares at best, a scowl and a spitting hiss at worst.

Halloween's here, you're dressed up as a generic bedsheet ghost because its the cheapest to do. While he's dressed up as a horror movie survivor. Wow, the cuts, tattered clothes, blood, abuse marks and limping walks really sold the costume. But you and him both know very well that these aren't done using makeup or prosthetics.

You and him went on trick and treating quietly.

Aww, you both are so adorable. Candies for days. Your pumpkin buckets filled up quick, that's because your friend keeps piling his candy into yours.

Aren't chocolate bars his favorite? Yes, of course. They're so expensive, delicious and very unafforable. But why does he keep giving them to you and leaving none for himself? Because they're everyone's favorite, including yours, duh!

Such a young gentleman, he is the type to lay his coat over a puddle of water for you to cross over it.

Middle school is where children usually begin to explore the concept of romance. Maybe you saw him as a brother, maybe you weren't attracted to him at the time, maybe you wanted to put his devotion for you to the test. Whatever the reason was, you consistently friendzone him whenever he tried to court you.

But it's okay, he is willing to wait. He is willing to have his eyes sting with tears, heart broken over and over again. He is willing to grit his teeth and clench his fists while forcing a smile, watching you experiment with the idea of having a boyfriend or girlfriend with other people. He is willing to be the third wheel to every single one of your dates with other kids. Your friend is always going to be there for you no matter what, he is your unyielding safety net, he is your second choice, he is always the best alternative or default when the puppy love didn't work out. And, he found solace in that. Others come and go, he is the fucking constant.

Then, he is going to try his luck. He will do it over and over again. You're going to accept it one day.

Your friend loves flowers. He speaks the language and gives you bouquets of red roses and pink Camellias. You usually chuck it in a vase filled with water and let it wilt, they're going to be replaced anyways.

He found that the food in the cafeteria can be awful, with goopy expired milk, to half frozen pizzas, they're bound to cause some poor kid to puke their guts out later in the day. He is making sure you're not that kid, so, he dedicated what precious free time he had to hone his cooking skills. He is a busy boy, working god knows how many jobs a 12 year old can work in a day, just to fund this essential skill of his.

Middle schoolers can be so cruel, your friend may not look the most feminine, but it's the actions he does out of love that makes the children pick on him for being different. Ew! He likes flowers and cooking! Gross! Evil! Unnatural! Independent! So not Alpha!

It starts off rocky at first, bullies will sabotage him whenever they can, kick him while he's down. Ruin his stocks, call him names and vandalize his belongings, but he gets the last laugh when he makes fucking bank by selling warm, hearty, tasty meals. They're a big hit among the staff who have no time to cook for themselves and have half a brain to know eating from the cafeteria is a bad idea.

Of course, his beloved sweetheart gets to eat for free. And has the privilege to go for seconds, thirds, fourths, however much your stomach desires. Yours are always personalized to fit your palate and presented in the most appetizing way.

Soon, other children began buying his meals too. As it turns out, they fucking slap.

He began expanding, selling resold candies at a ridiculously marked up prices, but the way he marketed and packaged them, gave an illusion that he's selling a premium product. They sold out like hotcakes, while you ate wrapper after wrapper without needing to pay a single cent.

Hey, he really has a knack for business! He is raking in profits, bringing you out to eat, spoiling you with riches a self made, young entrepreneur would have, excelling in Business studies, Accounting, Mathematics and Psychology.

He began testing the limits of his trading empire, he began dabbling in service based business such as delivery, doing homework for a price, obtaining blackmail material... that is how he knew your homeroom teacher had an extramarital affair with the principal. Hmm... the principal seems to kiss his ass a lot and you get a bunch of privileges. You wonder why that happened.

His reputation grew as his shrewdness grew. Your friend was too intimidating to be bullied, as one of his business ventures includes hiring others to do some dirty work for him. You don't know the full extent of his giant conglomerate enterprise, and you don't want to know.

You remember seeing a female teacher handing him a wad of cash, her hair tousled, her clothes were messy, her lipstick smeared and weird stains were all over her body. For sure, she didn't just find it laying around in the boys' bathroom... and, there were a lot more boys requesting a bathroom break that day.

Your friend bought you the latest smartphone model on the same day too. You were disturbed with what you saw and the implications, so you asked if she even got anything out of working under him and... if she even agreed to work as... whatever she was. He just smiled, cup your cheek and told you to never, ever, ever, cheat in a relationship. Especially not with him.

He then followed up with his probably hundredth love confession for you. Which you promptly friendzone him again. Your friend would simply sigh and change the subject. Do you like your phone? He asked as you began unboxing it, the loud chatter from the mall's food court drowned the voice of doubt in your head.

His wallet is growing wider, he is growing taller, posture disciplined, voice deeper and he lost the majority of his baby fat. Giving him a sharper, meaner, leaner look, his physique is nothing to scoff at either. All those pastry batter mixing, soup stirring, skull bashing hustling and bustling sculpted those perfect abs and ass. His hair now has a healthy sheen to it since he can afford better things, his skin had no flaw and the protruding ribs on his chest is now covered up with muscular pecs.

Being pretty does have its' privileges, he observed a sale boost in his balance sheets.

Time waits for no man. Before you know it, the both of you are in Graduation togas. Smiling for the camera, you gave your friend bunny ears.

Your friend started worthless in everyone's eyes, something to poke fun at, a punching bag, forgettable and nothing serious. He transformed into this feared, revered, worshipped yet hated entity. Your friend no doubt made as many enemies as allies, that's just how it is in the business industry. Cold blooded, ruthless and absolutely bizarre to you.

He has obviously put some of the staff and students in horrible situations for his benefit and sometimes for your entertainment. They seem to genuinely see him as some sort of god, someone to cleanse them from all their sins. They... loved him. What a manipulative motherfucker.

As for you... your situation is pretty strange too. You are clearly the only person he cared about, the only person he truly ever loved and cherish. No one seem to conjure up the idea to use you against him. You seem... invisible, for the most part. And you are so grateful for that.

At least, that's what your friend wants you to think. You have no idea how many strings he has to pull to keep you safe and oblivious and innocent. You have no idea how much he had to spend to keep you pure and untainted. But, yeah. Keep believing its' due to some sort of cosmic karma system where you didn't incur any karmic debt.

It was the first time seeing his parents at this graduation ceremony, he never liked having you over at his house. They looked like how you imagined them; miserable, horrible, unhealthy and volatile. They really should not be seated next to each other, his parents looked like they're about to strangle each other and your friend at a moments' notice.

His father was smoking, plumes of grey wafted up in the open air. Ashes crumbled and dropped down to his lap. His necktie was undone and his office shirt was disheveled, much like his belt and scuffed shoes. It was a wonder how he's not escorted out of the venue yet.

His mother... she aged horribly. She looks irritated yet distant, she doesn't want to be here. Or does she not want to be with her ex husband? Maybe if they were separated by an opaque wall, the mood would be much more lifted. His mom wasn't mentioned a lot during conversations, you knew close to nothing except the fact that she gets him on the weekends.

Perhaps his mother is simply neglectful and not active, he did mention that its easier to prepare his sellable inventory during the weekends.

You're nervous to meet them, they're really unfriendly and they don't seem to care that much about their son's accomplishments.

Your friend gently wrapped his arm around your shoulders and rubbed his hand up and down your arm. As if to soothe you from the sight of his less than ideal parents.

To you surprise, he just shot them an indifferent look before leading you away. Their relationships must be unsalvageable.

The event comes to an end, your friend mingled with everyone who, the majority, had clenched fists behind their back. He then went to socialize with your parents, he knew them well and they also knew them well. Their opinions on him are lovely.

He continued his endeavors, trying out many different ventures. It was extremely dizzying with the sheer amount of businesses he had. Your friend moved out of his parents' house(s) and struggled with finding a place for a while. So he stayed over at your parents' house with you for the time being. You get to wake up to the smell of deliciousness every morning, the plants would be watered, furniture dusted, home sparkling clean. Though, he was rarely around.

Eventually, he found his footing and lived in his own place. It's a little cramped and it could qualify as a weapon of psychological warfare, but that was all he could afford at the time.

He fought tooth and nail to obtain a massive bank loan for his main business plan, he was stressing over opening his first restaurant. The logistics of it all, the raw materials, the hired help, the equipment, the advertising-- the pressure of it all was enough to break the average person, but not him. Oh, he thrived on this. He was calculating, he knew the costs, the risks and he saved up enough for a rainy day.

It took him many months, many trips to the bank, many meetings, many phone calls, emails, uncountable hours working 3 jobs a day, an eternity in the kitchen, in the sweltering heat of lit stoves heating up pots and pans, many times where he would lose his voice from aggressive marketing, persuasion, severe sleep deprivation, starvation, networking, tears, blood and sweat. There were more times than you can count with your hands that he was almost driven to insanity if it wasn't for you.

The thought of you alone was more than enough to ground him and keep his eyes on the prize, he is going to make so much money that, you and he wouldn't ever have to work ever again. You both would live happily ever after as a married couple, comfortable and never needing to worry if he could afford the next meal or keep the lights on.

That's nice. You wouldn't need to know what he went through, he doesn't want you to go through a life of hardship like how he did. You wouldn't ever need to work a day in your life.

Your friend rubbed his aching, calloused hands, ridden with cuts and scars. The golden promise ring sits around his finger, it wasn't his to begin with, he stole them from his parents when you both were kids. He found solitude knowing that your hands will never be like his, your back will not ache from overexertion, your muscles will be relaxed and your mind will be quiet, at peace. But only if he kept going. Only if he does not give up.

Everything he does, he does it for you. He thought to himself, as he rubbed his bloodshot eyes staring at the screen of his phone. It's showing that 5 more customers placed an order for his famous party platter through a popular social media app. Your friend sighed as he tucks his phone away before opening the door to his mini fridge containing all the ingredients needed for the orders. It's 11pm, he has to be at one of his workplaces at 6am tomorrow.

The day finally came where he would open the doors to his very own restaurant. There was a crowd waiting in front of the shiny, polished glass doors.

His team of service crews, cooks and baristas anxiously watched on as your friend glanced at his old, marred and cracked wristwatch. His hand was tightly gripping on the door handles as he watched the minute hand twitched. His eyes and mouth were dry, probably due to the dehydration he endured for a while now.

As soon as his accessory shows that it's time for the grand opening, he opened the floodgates.

Customers come rushing in like a torrent of water in a river. Some new, some old, some here to do their jobs as a journalist, some are his other associates, some are his estranged relatives, some are his rivals. It was an assortment of people, a mixed bag.

The Chefs are cooking up a storm in the kitchen, the wait staff are serving customers left and right, bringing them to their tables. Baristas are whipping up as much drinks as they can, as perfectly as they can. Not a single foam bubble out of place, or else all those training would have gone to waste.

It was loud, busy and fiery. Chaos yet it was controlled, Disorder but it was ordered.

Your friend was leading the flow, the rhythm. The pulse of the restaurant depended on him. He made sure everything is in line, satisfaction at an all time high and disappointment non existent. He barked commands, firm and domineering, he controls the scene with an iron hand.

Waitstaff were trained to strike up friendly conversations with customers whose orders will take a longer time, to give the illusion of speed. Cheery faces, toothy smiles, giggles and laughter filled the establishment's air, alluring aroma of cooked goods filled everyone's nostrils, making many stomachs growl. It was colourful, it was tumultuously harmonic, expression of glee would made its way to the patrons' face when their dishes gets served. All the meals go beyond their expectations, in terms of smell, texture, taste and plating.

Your friend made sure that the cooling system was working perfectly, as he works in a kitchen, the easiest way to get snappy and grumpy is to be hungry in an oven. Calming music that's faintly playing in the background also helps, but its' mostly for him and the other staff. Everyone else is too occupied with their own matters to notice.

Today should be a day of accomplishment, happiness and gratitude. Why shouldn't it be? Revenue is projected to be high, profits are guaranteed and expected to go through the roof. Logically, this restaurant will be sustainable for many decades to come.

But your friend... he is getting antsy, upset, distressed, unhappy. His staff is noticing that he isn't all there, he's getting crabbier by the second. They were baffled, everything is going well, he is handling it wonderfully and the pressure is actually slightly dying down.

Where are you? He had scanned the dining area many many times now. No sign of you... but your parents were there. That somewhat calmed him down a bit, if they're there, you should be there too... right? You're probably at the salad counter or the bathroom. He anxiously massaged his hands, where are you?

He trusts his staff to handle everything on their own. He decided to take big strides towards your parents. Your friend greeted them with a warm smile, an animated Hello. Your parents mirrored him and returned the affability.

He was desperate to see you again... oh god, how long has it been since he last saw you? Hear your voice? It must have been months. As this realization dawned on him, he felt the coldest chill run down his spine.

Did he... unintentionally neglected you in the process of building the perfect life? No, that can't be. He sent you texts everyday.

He clenched his jaw and pushed his gnawing thought away momentarily. He made small talk with your parents. It was fine until he abruptly cut them off and got to the point; Where are you?

Your parents glanced at each other and a look of discomfort washed over them. Your friend was using the table to support his weight as he leaned forward. His knuckles turning white from gripping the edge of the furniture too tightly.

They're studying abroad. They said. Your friend froze in place and widened his eyes.

What? Why didn't you tell him? Why didn't he know? Why--

He hastily whipped his phone out and frantically tapped on his cracked screen.

He trembled as he realized you never received his texts, let alone read it.

Your parents explained to him that you changed phone numbers two years ago when you left to continue your studies abroad.

Two years...? Its been two fucking years?!

Your friend began hyperventilating, his face was flushed and he was gagging and gasping. No, no, no this can't be. He is nothing like his parents! You meant everything to him, he had never intend to ignore you, he had never meant to neglect you! Your friend is losing grip on himself, he is shaking like a leaf. No one paid any attention to him, as he is simply insignificant at the moment.

Please... I-I need to call them, please let me call them! He was choking on his tears that were streaming down his face, dripping onto the pristine floors below.

Your father handed him his phone, your new number already dialed.

They're probably having an exam today. Your father tried to warn your friend, but he didn't hear a word. All he could think was you.

Your friend snatched it out from his hand and made a dash past all the staff, customers, chefs...

Until he reached the back door, upon which, he exited through it.

He sobbed, pressing the device against his ear, listening to it beep indefinitely.

The call eventually dropped because it wasn't picked up. His face was scrunched and his sniffles were bouncing off the walls and green dumpster nearby.

He tried again. The call dropped. He tried again. The call dropped.

He tried again,

Your friend crouched down to the ground and pulled his knees to his chest. His cries unheard by anyone, everyone else is in the restaurant. He is the only one at the back.

The call dropped.

I'm sorry. He mumbled repeatedly to himself.

He tried again.

I'm so sorry. He sobbed much harder this time, he cradled his face in his hand.

The call dropped.

Please forgive me. He squeezed his arm, his fingernails digging into his flesh.

He tried again.

You're always my number one. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have neglected you. He drew blood from piercing his skin with his nails.

The call dropped.

I'm sorry, I was only trying to build a better life for us. He took much shallower breaths.

He tried again

I would give up everything just to hear from you again, it means nothing to me if you're not here... with me. Please, I'm sorry. He was growing despondent, desolate. He was clutching his head, a ball of quivering mess.

The call dropped.

I love you. He whispered as he broke down completely. Angry at himself, angry at the world, angry at everything. Life isn't fair. He has done everything he needed to do and yet he the only reward he ever wanted isn't granted; you. He ruined everything, all of it, all his hard work, all of it was worthless. He felt worthless. The guilt and remorse and anguish of being a neglectful friend and partner was crushing him to death.

He wasn't there at the very end.

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fandxmslxt69 · 1 month

Text

CLEM'S BIRTHDAY HANG OUT!!

Hello friends!

As March comes to an end (my birth month wooo) I thought it would be a fun idea to have a little hang out during the last week! So from March 25 - 31 we are PARTYING !

Sort of!

My askbox is open to all sorts of silly dilly fun time! This is my first little hang out so PLEASE BE KIND TO ME i'm just a silly girl who wants to make friends and have some fun! I'm also hoping this might get me back into writing!

Yes, the poster is all Loki NO HE'S NOT THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION!! Here's a little info I guess (I am just winging this as we speak, it is not very thought out):

Rules & Info

The event will run from 03/25 to 03/31 - you can send in as many asks and hang out as much as you would like!!! No I will not kill you if you drop a hello in my askbox start of April - to be honest, I love friends so I won't ever turn anyone away

You can stop by my askbox to say hi, share some thoughts (or thots...) tell me anything, or play a game! (will talk about that in a bit)

Anyyyyoneeee is welcome I don't care if we aren't mutuals or we don't even talk, STOP BY AND SAY HI :D If you are rude or disrespectful in any way, I will kick your butt and break your nose.

This is a positive, fun zone. I just want to have my fun and mind my business, please don't be trying to cause problems. I'm a relatively small blog so thankfully no one really looks my way but I've had some bumps in the past.

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME DOING THIS AND IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE FROM NERVES SO BE PATIENT WITH ME OKAY

Games:

Fuck, marry, kill - send me any three characters that you want me to decide a fate for....oh my god please don't make me kill anyone I love dearly....

Blurbs!! - send me a little prompt/kink/thought & a character and I will try SOOOOO HARD to put out a little itty bitty something of writing! Like 500 words or so!! Can be fluffy or smutty. Angst is not allowed unless its just a LITTLE sad and with lots of fluffy stuff after

Character Association - tell me about yourself and let me give you a character. This is literally my favourite game ever, and I swear I'm super good at it

Book Recs - tell me your reading vibes/popular tropes you like and I will give you FIVE (not one, not two, but FIVE!!!) book recs because I like talking about books. If you show up talking about non fiction, then sorry but I am not your gal at all.

Chat - Come talk!! Come chat!! Come say hi and giggle with me about anything!! Come be crazy with me over narratives and themes and character arcs!!! Tell me about school or your day, your OCs, latest WIPs or anything currently on your mind!

Okay that's all I could come up with but literally any and all games are free game. I am keeping this as chill and lowkey as possible.

Characters/Fandoms:

You guys already KNOW my vibes and what I'm around and what I'm not, so feel free to send anything! I float around Marvel/DC (just send in any character and if I don't vibe with it I'll just let you know or leave it unanswered), I think it's obviously I'm Oscar Isaac obsessed....um. Pretty much anything. It's free game and I'll put my foot down if I'm down okay with something or don't want to answer :D

I'm..about to tag some friends...if that's okay...

@divine-knight-hand @romanarose @sarahscribbles @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl @sailorholly @in-som-niyah @fictive-sl0th @mischief2sarawr @saturn-rings-writes @superficialdomina @planetwaynez...and I can't remember anyone else now I'm sorry LMAO

KISSES EVERYONE <3

Clem

PS: If you're worried whether I'm comfy or not or familiar with a character or not, just send it in anyway and we'll figure it out from there!

#if i did not tag you its either im going to harass you on discord or i forgot or im worried you'll think im crazy #which i may be a little bit but not entirely #kisses everyone (panicking going to throw up)#clem talks <3 #Clem's Birthday Hang Out #<- NEW TAG !!!!!!!!!!!#when this finishes maybe I'll finally get to updating and revamping my masterlist!!!!!!#jason todd #loki laufeyson #moon knight #dc #dick grayson #marvel #oscar isaac #joel miller

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bringmefoxgloves · 8 months

Note

i want to get more into saw/saw blogs b4 X comes out - what r some of ur fave saw blogs

Hi! You caught me at a good time (one where I have energy) so let's see if I can pump this out. I am in no way an authority on the entire Saw fandom so I will only be talking about my little corner of the internet. Please forgive me, my beloved followers, mutuals, and other owners of posts I have loved in this very small fandom-because I may forget some of you. The brain fog sometimes gets the best of me and if I did a full complete list, it would be.... It would be so long. This is in no way in order of best or worst, and sometimes I just have no words for why I love a person's blog.

@turnipoddity - Oh, what an artist! Every single post I see, love it. So excited to see an artist acquiring the Saw brainrot.

@bloodcoveredgf - Luna! Also just all around funny & good posts in addition to the Saw insanities.

@dracofelin - Jay has such good writing, and will make you love the ship of Mark Hoffman/Peter Strahm (coffinshipping).

@thefoulbeast - Simply put, Will's art makes me want to bite my own arm off. If you're interested in the video game Pathologic, his blog is worth a follow for that too.

@bathroomtrapped - I sometimes get the honor of previewing Larry's art mid-construction (because with all those colors and layers, it looks like building a house) and even half finished, it blows my socks off <3

@sawtrapz - Kaz, oh Kaz (!!!), Kaz gets my brain clicking about some of the rarepairs of this fandom and I will always spin your boygirl Adam in my head.

@cl0wnb0yyy - Will is just a great person in the fandom, also if you like Midnight Mass or NBC's Hannibal.

@ispyspookymansion - Kora looms large in the Saw fandom in my mind so it would be impossible to assemble this list without him.

@3razyswfangirl / @kiramillet - Kira's pixel art is amazing!!! Bunny <3

@tibby - Take a look through Tibby's saw meta. You won't be disappointed.

@allegedly-writer - Contrary to Jack's url, Jack can sure damn write! He just posted a fic and guess who it's for <3

@hansy-pansy-art - OUGH another amazing amazing artist. Also currently in a Red Dead Redemption moment, which I love.

@piddgeon - Speaking of RDR.... Mercury! Ah, just. (Chef's kiss) of a human being.

@samwis - Jami, who hears all my most insane horny thoughts who is such a mainstay in my corner of Saw fandom.

@romanromulus - Adam writes fics that will make you scream and cry into your pillow at midnight.

@tapeworrmart - Just. Ough. Art that I dream of one day hanging on my wall.

@vanilladella - a.m.'s art is my discord header. Enough said.

@carouselcometh - Remy is hilarious and also you need to read his series on Ao3.

@onehandkilling / @fatmasc - Shlomo... What do I say? Just go. Follow. Also threw in their fat fashion blog because YES!!!

@angel-trapped - Téa, you absolute legend. Origin of angelshipping (to me) (aka Lindsey Perez/Allison Kerry)

@sawtrapx - Liv, such a fun human being!!!

@starlightsailfish - Star's Saw Warrior Cats makes me dance in excitement.

@iinsawdious - Adrien is the best champion of the Adam & David (Saw 0.5) & Specs (Character from the Insidious franchise, also played by Leigh Whannell) are family hc. I love his enthusiasm!!

@adrianicsea - Adrian! Just. AH!!! Adrian's Sleeping with Ghosts series was perhaps my first introduction (outside of Adam romanromulus) to the sheer brilliance of Saw fandom writers.

@dodddraws - Dodd's art is.... I'm just at a loss for words, scrolling back through his blog. So much nsfw goodness.

@sawvhs - Rar's art is so so so iconic.

Okay I have to cut this list off here, jfc. There's others I should probably put on here but I'm getting tired and sweaty and my hands are hurting. Follow these people, check who they're reblogging from or who is reblogging them, go forth, prosper anon. Welcome to the Saw brainrot.

#wes says things back #jfc did i just do a follow forever in the year of our lord 2023? guess i did #if you do not follow me and i tagged you... i'm sorry for popping up in your notes.#just want to share your brilliance in the saw fandom out there

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writingmochi · 5 months

Text

ｌｏａｄｉｎｇｉｎｔｅｒｆａｃｅ．．．

you have reached year 2

lissie: greetings, visitor! this is your flight director speaking~ welcome to the two-year anniversary of this blog (freaking awesome if you ask me). thank you so much for reading, indulging, and/or interacting with this blog, me, or my works. the sentence before cannot describe the gratitude i'm expressing towards all of you. this is a yearly recap for me and maybe for new visitors who come to know what has happened on this blog for the year.

before we get to it, i'm doing a survey to get to know my audience better (and more research). if you have spare time, do fill in the survey so that i get to know more about the visitors, the works, and the audience on tumblr in general! (average time is around 3 minutes~)

survey link! (survey closed)

leggo!

all research done (read: works written and released)

troubled pixies | txt's taehyun (2 parts; 52k [novel])

smirch episode 2: jay | enhypen's jay (27.4k [novella])

isobel | txt's soobin (43.3k [novel])

pizzeria run | enhypen's sunoo (17.9k [novella])

total: 4 works (1 two-shots, 3 oneshots) and 140.6k words written

all the navigators connected (read: mutuals i got within the year. check last year's recap if you didn't find yours!)

@it-rains-blue (via @itz-yerin)

yerin! the other biggest bamtori i know here! gosh i hope you're doing well irl and online... hope for the best for your confession cafe >> check it out folks @the-love-cafe

@heart2beom

hey jazmine! i notice you haven't posted in a while now. so i'm hoping your doing okay, okay?

@tyunlatte / @wave2tyun

alex! if you are lurking, i hope you're doing so good irl! live your life for the best (edit: alex's back!)

@lovejoshua

1/6 angels: ilem istg! hi! you've been like one of the constant presence when i check the discord server. hope you treat yourself well!

@junniieesbby

2/6 angels: whenever i see a heart, it always reminds me of you, angie. i think you're busy currently, so the best i can say is that hope you have a good rest cause you need it and always hydrate ;)

@hanniejie

3/6 angels: hey lex! i just saw the band au teaser on your blog and i wanna punch myself for not noticing that sooner! /j hope you have a great time writing that one :D

@txt-yaomi

4/6 angels: sof!! i gotta have to consult you more for street spirit cause just the way you work with the album for angel is just *chef's kiss*

@talesofyuan

yuan~~ ngl i can't wait to read your kei lovesick series (tho i'm hoping to staying loyal to yixiang) can't wait to see more of your &team fics. check the blog out for &team content, folks!

@choistick

5/6 angels: saph !! thanks for the tag and hope your hiatus is treating you well~

@robin-obsessed

6/6 angels: lee~ i've just seen that you also like riize like akfjbaieufiw okayyyy i hope you have a good day/night whenever and wherever you are!

@dido-of-the-endless

hi nida! tbh you have so many side blogs i'm confused in which one you post your writing (so i'm tagging your main account). feel free to consult me if you have any wips you wanna let out lmao >.< n thanks for joining the txt hub server, i won't know you if not from there...

@pyeonghongrie (via @pyeonghongrie-main)

rie! thank you so much for letting me in the cult (mueheheheh) and hope we can interact more here or on the server

@aduh0308

welcome to the roster, ada! thanks for letting me join the soobin collab and nice to see you!

director's journal entries (read: all the rants i have thought out the past year. some are genuine, some are sarcastic):

wow… i freaking broke tumblr huh

i shouldn't have been too ambitous fook me

bruh my body's crumbling…

i swear i hate college for not allowing me to write

i broke tumblr twice w/ a txt fic alsnskdams

tumblr can’t handle things :(

is my mind running too fast or is it just harder for people to understand me? annoying much…

i’m literally a step away from going out of the kpop fandom. this kind of fan behavior is sickening

^ and the fact is: i’ll probably survive

kinda wish someone could appreciate my writing just like i do for other people here

is there something wrong with how i write asks? i should have put more tone indicators…

the desire for me to revert back to web 1.0 is crazy. like, me owning a blog? ughh yes pls!

i’m getting freaking frustrated!!!

AGGHHHGHHHHHHHH

… will i ever … :")

*queue yoda's voice* you pushing back more wips i see

how the fuck have i made fewer works yet the wc is 20k away from last year's result? (166k for 12 compared to 140k for 5 works)

^ it's quality over quantity now darling

^^ and the fact that the year 3 count will get higher because of the fics you've delayed

notable moments from the past year

established @a-dream-bookmark, a rec blog + kpop writer & reader network

reaching 200!

started writing for ateez!

joining @kflixnet, @k-labels, and @cultofdionysusnet networks

what’s next?

lissie: if you haven't seen it, i'm starting a new big-scale series called terra incognita for enhypen's jake, do check it out if you like cyberpunk, or dystopian fics! also, i an doing the wips that i promised will be released this year (will prioritize evaluation and subterranean homesick alien first)

lissie: once again, thank you so much for following me on this journey! cheers~

#the voyage: year 2 #milestone of the moon #announcement from the moon

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shadowfoxsilver · 11 months

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Pet donation scam explaination

Hi! I have many posts on my other blog that explain what a pet donation scam is but I'll go ahead and write another one over here that also explains it in case anyone wants a reminder about what it is and how it works. I'd suggest sharing this with your friends/followers even if they already know it so they can share it with their friends/followers and so on. I'll put it under a readmore.

tl;dr: A pet donation scam is when someone steals content off another site and spams asks to share their pinned pet post even though their account is only a few days old and has only a few posts. The blog usually disappears within a week but then you have another blog sending asks that has the same exact post but then has different images but their name is the same.

A pet donation scam is a scam that involves someone taking images/stories off a private vet bill aid group and then reposting it to tumblr as their own pet. The account does not explain that the images shown are not theirs; They will pass them off as their own and act as if the pet shown is one that's under their care. However, these accounts do not own anything their posting. Because they have stolen their content off another site.

Pet donation scammers like to reblog a few posts to look legit. Generally, as of recently, they'll share 100+ posts and use the Top Posts badge to look like an active user. However, a quick scroll through all those posts will usually show none of them are tagged and they all came from a trending tag or are trending posts. These accounts also are now sharing posts from accounts they follow in order to look more legitimate but don't let that deceive you. This is just another attempt to appear like their just your average tumblr blogger.

These scammers also will sent out asks that request private answers because they don't want anyone to see they sent the asks out to multiple other accounts. They'll tell you they don't want to be mistook as a bot/spammer even though they just spammed the askbox of people who share mutual aid posts and mutual aid links. If you search their ask in tumblr search, you'd likely see how many got the same thing. This tactic is why it's suggested not to send multiple asks to users to share your own aid post. Because sadly scammers have ruined it for others.

Another thing to keep in mind is that reverse image searching doesn't always work for trying to check the sources of a posts images for these scams. Since these images are stolen off a private facebook group, they won't show up in the public besides reblogs from users who mistook the scammer as a real account. This often may deceive others into assuming the scam account is legit if the images don't come up as being from somewhere else. They don't show up because their stolen off a private group so they are not easily accessible outside of it when searched.

Pet donation scammers also will lie to you to get your money. They will claim they'll pay you back yet if you find out their a scammer and ask for your money back the account will simply block you and move on to someone else. These scammers will never pay you back and they have no intentions of ever returning their money to anyone they stole from. You'll see it's a common phrase in their posts that they'll send you money back for helping them but that day never comes when they remake their blog and once more start their scam back up.

In closing, pet donation scams are unfortunately a common scam on tumblr and it's necessary to try and look up information if you got an ask that seems suspicious and is coming from a blog that's only a few days old and somehow found you if you are not a blog that a brand new account would find unless they saw you in a trending post notes or from a popular fandom tag.

#mod talks #pet donation scam #scam #how to spot a scam blog #longpost #long post #long post is long

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blacksapphhicmaddonna · 3 months

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BLOG UPDATES - 1/17/24

hey bookies!

for everyone but esp. my taglist:

@mybonafidefeelings @zeezeecave @gr00vyminibus @xenaizogie @lppriceisright @darkangelchronicles @princessmel-1995 @nanii2x @pinkroses98 @pinkbongrips AND THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO I'M MISSING CAUSE TUMBLR WON'T LET ME TAG ANYMORE PEOPLE!!!!! (I'll come back and edit smh)

here's some quick house keeping!

MY BLOG NAME/@/URL WILL *LIKELY* BE CHANGING IN FEBRUARY! After SHURIRIWEEK2024, I will probably no longer be "@blacksapphhicmaddonna". I will be keeping this username on a holder blog though. It feels like time for a change. I'll keep ya'll updated, but especially for my mutuals - I want to make sure I stay on them taglists! lol

SHURIRI WEEK IS SCHEDULED FOR JANUARY 28TH - FEBRUARY 3RD 2024. More details will be announced soon!

I will be making a second, separate blog for SHURIRIWEEK. I will run it through the year, but mainly focusing on ShuririWeek as they come.

UPDATE (1/21/24): you can follow at @shuririweek

Please sign up on my taglist for future works! I love my mutuals sooo much and I keep missing a few folks when I post. I have yet to find a super concise and easy way to organize names/@'s but this is the best I have for rn. Super quick form, just lets me know what you want to be tagged in! Thank you so much. (LINK FOR TAGLIST)

I'm working on a few WIP, most of which folks have asked for. It's taking a while and I honestly don't have much for you other than "I'm doing my best and I truly appreciate the patience, love and community I've found on this account. I hope we can all continue to be internet cousins/friends and have a good time." The stories are coming!!! I just have a lot going on lol. One day and one google doc at a time.

Lastly, I realize that it's taken months longer than expected and originally talked about to organize and host ShuririWeek. I apologize to everyone who's been looking forward to it, and I hope you enjoy! Next time will be much more prompt. Much love.

love,

Ace x

Updated 1/18/14 - originally this post was tagged with “ace” and turned to the colors of the Asexual flag. I am not asexual and meant no disrespect, I didn’t even notice it but have since removed it. Ace is my name😭

#black sapphic #blog rules #personal #shuririweek2024 #shuririweek #blacksapphhicmaddonna #housekeeping #blog housekeeping #tag list #updates #blog updates #WIP

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preraphaeliteknight · 1 year

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I've spent a few days thinking about what to do moving forward. It's not the breakup of a celebrity couple that's affected me the most, it's the feeling of losing my safe space in the Tumblr Swiftie fandom. Every time I've logged onto this app in the last few days I've flinched and quickly exited the dash to get away from yet another take mocking and ridiculing Joe. Or minimizing his very valid fears. "Unbothered 3.0". Rewriting history to make the last 6 years seem insignificant. Comparing him to CH as if petty jealousy is the issue here and not years of harassment. Celebrating the return of Taylor Swift, The Brand, no matter what that means for her future happiness. And circulating pressers that make it sound like Joe was a therapy dog who's no longer needed. All of which is making me feel physically ill. For both of them. And even when this stuff isn't coming from the people I follow (who for the most part have nuanced and fair takes), it's coming from their anons. And no matter what I do I can't get away from the outright cruelty and shocking lack of empathy for the person Taylor has credited with saving her life. Even though swifties know better than anyone what Joe has had to put up with for over half a decade. Given that treatment, I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that this is how he's being discarded. But fuck it hurts. So where does this leave me? This blog was never supposed to be an update account or an ask blog. I just wanted a space to fangirl over my favorite actor. But in the last few months this has become a space for Joe fans to be excited for his upcoming projects and clown over castings (remember a few weeks ago when we were giddily figuring out his next movie because of insta follows? yeah, take me back to that please). And I know some of you rely on this blog as a space to both appreciate Joe and vent your frustrations with his unfair treatment. I have 70+ asks in my inbox right now, the vast majority of which are well written, thoughtful takes on what's been happening. And I agree with pretty much all of it. Thank you for taking the time to send me your thoughts. But the truth is, I simply don't have the emotional capacity to reply to them right now. I can't do it. I can't talk and think and dwell on this. To quote a song that's too painful to listen to right now: "I'm just too soft for all of it." So I feel like I have two options if I ever want to be able to be active on Tumblr again: 1. Unfollow all swifties. Because just seeing pictures of Taylor (especially from the pap walk) makes me feel ill. And it's affecting my opinion of her even though I'm mad at her fans, and not her. And I don't want that to happen or the music to be tarnished. But I also don't want to break mutuals and hurt someone's feelings. And I want to know what's going on with Taylor. I'm a huge fan of her too, and I want to be excited for tour and the re-recordings. So that's why I'm going with option 2: Take a proper break. A real one, this time. Hopefully this all won't feel so hard with some time and distance. I don't know if it will solve anything, because swifties will get back to talking about Joe in the future (whenever she makes art about this) and then I'll probably have to flinch every time I open this app again. Because he will have been reduced to yet another ex swifties can make fun of. So maybe I have to go with both options in the end. If I do, I hope any mutuals out there know not to take it personally. I wish more than anything that I could return to the days of being a casual fan who wouldn't have thought twice about any of this. And maybe that's what I need to try to get back to. For my own sanity's sake. I'm sorry to any Joe fans out there who need a place to vent. I feel like I'm letting you down, but I just can't do this right now. Maybe I'll be able to in the future. Maybe I'll leave this blog and go back to my main instead where the subjects will be more varied. I don't know. I'll always be a Joe fan though, and no shitty presser or swiftie narrative is going to change that.

Please just be kind to each other, and to Taylor and Joe. Let's hope the best for both of them, and please please please don't tarnish all the good that this relationship gave them. And all the beautiful music it gave us.

All my love

#I won't delete the app or anything so you can always dm me if you want to #and I have notifications on for joealwyndaily so I'll probs reblog if anything exciting happens #but yeah I'll see you when I see you and sorry for the rant

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nobodysdaydreams · 3 months

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Doug Eiffel is hilarious and deserves his own series of radio shows

(Or my reaction to Wolf359's three untitled mini episodes!)

Welcome back dear readers! I wish I could react to more full length episodes, but life in terms of health and work load has not been kind to me (yep. I'm sick again). Fortunately, I was informed that these mini episodes can be listened to at any time and they are fairly short, so I'm gonna give it a shot! (If I was misinformed and am about to have a ton of plot spoiled for me, I apologize in advance!)

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom

Mini Episode: Adventure of a Lifetime

Ohhhh... a field trip into the mysterious rooms!

...this might not work out for you Doug, but I hope you find something useful.

Huh. Empty rooms. ...why do I get the feeling they aren't all empty?

Different shade of grey paint? Doug have you never played a video game? I mean, I haven't either, but even I know what that means.

Great, now he's locked in.

"I'm hungry, I didn't have breakfast, It's been five hours." WHY AM I DOUG 😂

Doug yeah the grey spot sounds pretty bad.

"Did you try pushing?" Hilbert is so done with him.

19 minutes? I'm not sure if that's funny because Doug is dramatic, or spooking because these rooms actually mess with time perception.

"You never mention this to anyone and I won't ask you what you're doing on this part of the station" Doug you really oughta be asking though.

Oh. That was it? Huh. Very short. I wonder what the next one has in store...

Mini Episode: Step One

Ah! More Doug! Why IS he going outside?

Hey, Doug. Do not speak badly about the commander. Trust me, the day will come when you realize Minkowski is the best commander you could ever have.

He stole her diary? Oh Doug...

"If this tape shows up in my murder trial, you'll know why I made this recording"

Imagine if Cutter tried to use this audio to frame Minkowski for Doug's death (he would. He'd drop it off at her husband's office like "sorry about your wife becoming a murderer. Apparently a disgruntled employee took her diary and she snapped").

Poor Doug. Scrambling to solve a mess he created in a very unsafe way because he can't ask for help or else he'll get caught? Why is he so dang relatable. Someone get this man to a doctor. He needs Adderall. And his daughter back.

"I have the perfect plan" oh dear. Doug, those words never go well for me either.

"Doug was great, I need to lighten up a lot" 😂

"She somehow saw through my forgery" oh poor Doug.

Are these episodes just Doug getting himself into situations? Because that's hilarious and wonderful.

Mini Episode: Space Rage

"Badass McAwesome" Is that Doug doing a southern accent? I love his radio shows.

Is he talking about Minkowski? Is he broadcasting that through the ship?

"Our God given American right to free speech and funny jokes!" Amen Doug 🫡

Oh my gosh he's talking to himself 😂.

"I'm stuck in this crappy job searching for alien life for 14 hours a day" "we've all certainly been there" I can't, please 😂😂😂

"There's this script you're supposed to broadcast" "sound like command trying to keep you down"

"I've been reciting every Simpson's treehouse of horror episode from memory" / "That's the way Abe Lincoln would have wanted it."

I love this. I love patriot cowboy Doug. 🤠 You can't be taking his freedoms!

"Fighting the good fight" aksjkfjsdlf;kj

Oh who is the sponsor this time? Oh Dr. Hilbert's seaweed coffee. "It's the only thing we have. It's the only thing we have."

"You're live. Let freedom ring!" Doug is the best honestly.

Oh dear.

"Okay you're taking me alive. That's all the time we have for today folks!"

Doug is iconic.

These were great. Short, but great. Maybe I'll try to listen to the Mission Mishap ones a few at a time so that I can still give you reactions, even if I don't have the time or health to give you the full length reactions you deserve dear readers. But don't worry. As soon as I have time, I will react to the rest of the series. Thanks for reading!

#bods wolf359 reactions #wolf359 #renee minkowski #doug eiffel #alexander hilbert #wolf 359 #w359 #wolf 359 spoilers #dear listeners #wolf359 reactions #wolf359 reaction #wolf359 podcast

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bunzeezilla · 7 months

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Hi.

This is going to be the last post I make before completely discarding this account. I know I haven't been active since a good long while ago and that is cus I've moved to a more mature blog/blogs that fit my interests a bit more then this one. I only come back here to let the people who follow me and are mutuals with me that I will leave this blog unactive, for a few reasons. One of them is just that I'm not as connected to this blog as I use to be the other one is what I'll get into. This information is already on place like youtube and twitter, and somewhat on here. But regardless I still feel the need to talk about it. These are videos that should help explain why I'm not only leaveing hti s blog but also why I'll be taking a small step back from the undertale and undertale au community. [pt1, pt2] I am disgusted that this is a norm here. Because not only do the big top dogs do this kind of shit, but the smaller ones as well. And I won't blame the game or the aus for it, but please can this community get it's act together? There are too many grown adults going around here talking to CHILDREN in the most vile ways. I have been a mod in an utau server and had to deal with adults being disgusting towards me and my friends [all minors at the time]. Why is this so common and why is swept under the rug allowed to keep going? 1 person supposrting these ppl still, is too many, but 50-100+? 100 people who would rather children be prayed upon then even dare go a day without their percious au animations? And I can no longer comfortable saying that I'm apart of this fandom anymore. It sickens me to my core that there are still ppl defending and supporting, Camila, Nyx, Jaki. So I'm leaving this blog and taking a break from the fandom. If you are a minor in this fandom or any, and you see this, please stay safe. If an adult flirts or talks sexual to you, if you can, screenshot, record, tell another adult, report them, block them, get away from them. They are not your friend. They are an adult that does not need to be speaking that way to you. And if they try to guilt you, rather that be with getting their friends/followers to bully you or with taking ur own life, just get you evidence and don't bother contacting them anymore. There are adults and groups of people who can help you and support you and give you more saftey tips. One of those people being a youtuber by the name Lio convoy and the small group he works with. There are other groups like him that you can go to and they can help you file a report or at the very least, make sure that person isn't allowed to show their face on any platform. I feel now but heartache for the victims of this disgusting situation and wish them nothing but peace of mind and justice . And as harsh as it may sound, I hope that Veir, Artty-chan, Camile, Nyx, Jaki, and all the other scum who partook and/or kept quite about this rot and burn. This is absolutly disgusting and I hope that something like this dosen't happen again.

#undertale #undertale community #undertale au #undertale au community #utau #underverse #glitchtale #camila cuevas #jael peñaloza #nyxtheshield #predators and predator defenders/protectors should not be allowed praised of accepted in this fandom #This is my goodbye to you all.

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chenyann · 1 year

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Rating my cutie mooties♡

Mainly bc I didn't have the best day and yall were here and making me giggle/feel better🤭

kinda like mutual appreciation week(?) Also be aware I'm not the best at expressing things so if it comes off as rude/uncaring or bland I'm so sorry!! (this isn't in any order so don't think if someone is on top that means I like them better also if you were not added that is because we don't really interact with each other much and I'm too shy to start doing it now-)

@pandoa 1 or 100/10

You make weord edits of me, also that butter chicken photo you sent me won't be forgotten but, you are one of my first and beloved mutuals. I giggle, smile, twirl my hair or preparing for seeing what you've said or liked whenever you interact with me. Seeing you so randomly or you saying the most strange things brings me so much joy. You've created an icon (yakonigiri) who I'm actually preparing to bring back soon, the days yakonigiri roamed around were some of the best days (imo) and the days that we would have chats are also held close to my heart. I will love to make some more amazing memories with you as my mutual.

@puminari 8/10

It was originally 10/10 until I remembered these:

but other than that you are an amazing person, you're more on the newer side of mutuals but that doesn't matter. Seeing you in my notifications is always such a treat and I get happy knowing that you posted something. You're very funny and interacting with you is always a fun thing!(i also hope school is going good for you)

@cherrys-sweetness 15/10

I was too shy to really interact with you at first but then I got comfortable, tbh you were kinda intimidating to me when we first became moots💀 but I've came to find that it was all in my head– you're literally so sweet and funny, you also have a heart filled with gold I'm my eyes.As sweet as a cherry, as bright as the sun and as beautiful as the moon. You're a wonderful person cherry :)

@trplas 100/10

I just love you/p, you're a very sweet person and I love talking to you. When we first became moots I didn't expect us to bond this much ngl💀 but with that I feel like I grow grey hairs everytime you tell me you're injured or ill. (I won't say much bc I'll end up writing essays)

@merotwst 9/10

I'm not gonna lie, you're kinda scary. But I know you're harmless (kinda) your love for Jamil is so inspiring 💖💖 also your art is very yumyum, seeing that you posted I get excited bc of your delectable writing skills too. I enjoy talking to you (and how ur on Jamil crack but that's not the point) I was kinda panicking when you followed me but I'm glad that i was scared for nothing!

@a-hollow-angel 9/10

why won't you let me eat ur things??? Your art is yum, ur photos are yum, your theme is yum. Everything about your blog is yum and I don't find it fair that I can't eat it. You're the most sweetest person on tumblr and I will stand by this statement til I quit tumblr. -1 bc you won't let me eat ur stuff :(

@kalims 10/10

Bro we don't talk as much, but ur so amazing. Like hello ur so sweet?????? Also all ur themes are so cute 🤩 (the Luke one was the cutest imo) not gonna lie you were also very intimidating to me but that okay💀 again you're very sweet and another one with a heart of gold♡

@achy-boo 7/10

Please sleep at appropriate times😭😭😭😭 you're one of the few mutuals who I think would beat me in a fist fight. Again you're more on the intimidating side of my mutuals, but other than that you're very cool! -3 bc of the horrible sleep schedule and the fact you grinkled me.

@italoniponic 10/10

You're very sweet, you're funny, you're themes are always cute and you are over-all an amazin person to talk to! Personally you are one of the most big brained mutuals I got, all your ideas just... there are not words to explain them, the way you think is just beautiful no words can begin to describe it. That's how amazing you and your ideas are.

@moxxbox 10/10

Moxxie 😗😗😗😝😝😝😝 can we talk about ur headers, THEY ARE SO SO CUTE!!!! I fr flew to the sky when I saw them😼 but that's not what I'm here to talk about, you are really nice and very cool. I dont remember when we became moots but I'm glad we did :) chatting with you is always something i enjoy [ Also I haven't spoken to you in awhile bc i keep forgetting 😭]

@arent-i-the-fairest 10/10

I also think you can beat me in a fist fight lu, ur writing is so yum, ur theme is also yum. I hope you're doing okay and that you've been taking care of yourself. I'm glad we are moots bc I know later gonna lurk in ur inbox- you are very very nice and very fun to be around 😗✌

@rggie 15/10

Mal I hope you're doing okay😭😭 bc past time we spoke you were a little sick, but i hope that whatever you're doing you're having fun and being you. When I first interacted with ur account you were so sweet and fun to be around. Yoire themes were so beautiful and your writing was even better, I hope you're doing well.

(That's all💀 I have more mutuals but I feel like I'd be bothering them or I'm just scared to talk to them.)

If you haven't already followed some of these amazing accounts I'd recommend them ♡

#Love yall<33333 #Also I'm mad sick rn #My heater caught fire last night so it's cold I here and need to get another #Luckily we are all okay we just have to scrub the walls #Also I'm watching 'A love so beautiful' guys this shit has me crying #I'm such a cry baby #They could fr be saying hello and I'm already in tears #And I broke my glasses 💀💀💀#I fell Asleep with them on😛😛😭😭😭#☕|° chats

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frecklystars · 10 months

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I wanted to let you know, that people believing in you is not a coincidence, or just a good will. It is natural for human beings to heal from trauma. It may take some time, but it doesn't mean it won't pass. It will.

Second of all, there is this paradox of atachment vs letting go (the more you hold on to something - you are loosing it. The more you let go of it - the more it will come back to you). Of course it doesn't work with everyone, but it may work for you. I wanted to drop a proposition of action you can try taking, to make your interests go back to you naturaly. And if it won't work, there are other ways to do it. Psychology is a giant field that got buchered in our day and age. People are putting help behind paywalls, but it doesn't mean it is impossible to heal on your own. It totally is, and I believe you can do it!

Next, I just want to say that I believe in you. I'm honestly new here, and I hate that a fellow Starscream enjoyer is hurt in that way. No one deserves that. But I assure you, the ass who did that to you is not walking away from this without a stain on her reputation. People who know, will know, and stay away from her. You speaking up actually might save someone like me from interacting with her in the future, so I myself won't be a victim. Speaking up is already a brave move, as not many people would ever do it. You are an extremely strong person, and not only your fans will be impressed by that, but also some random, wandering into your blog by a total coincidence, like myself.

At last, I wanted to tell you something about Starscream. You got a great relationship with him before, from what I've gathered. He loves you wholeheartedly, and you know why? You respect him, you care for him. He can be safe in your presence. He also is a victim, so he would understand you more than anyone else. If you already gained his trust once, he would never betray it. He would want to hold on to you as bad, as you want to hold on to him. Steve Blum is right here - you both need eachother, as both of your cases are similar. Maybe now, you just can't feel his love, because he doesn't want to scare you, and that's why he keeps distance. He just doesn't want to hurt you further, and that's why you feel numb. Why would he want to hurt someone, he loves? But in time he wil be back. He probably misses you too, but he will understand why this is happening. He just wants you to heal, and if his mere sight may hurt you, he just doesn't want it to happen to you. He wants to give you time to heal, so he won't bring you more pain than the one you go through right now.

So please, stay positive. It will take time, and work, but you will get through this! You are really brave, and strong! We all believe in you! And I mean not only your followers, mutuals, and certain Cybertronians, but also random strangers who wondered here by a total coincidence. Stay strong, and you will succeed! I know you will!

Thank you anon. it feels like it's just never going to get better sometimes... thank you for believing in me. Thank you for saying I'm brave and strong, because god I don't feel brave at all, I feel like I've been stabbed a billion times and I'm just bleeding out on the ground. Everything hurts so fucking bad all the time and I feel like it's never going to improve. I'll have miniscule moments every few weeks where I'll think "oh, I'm managing a lot better today!" and then it's like all of my progress is erased...

I never imagined that speaking up about what happened to me could benefit anybody, but I'm shocked at the amount of people who have come to me saying "oh I can guess who you're talking about, because that person hurt me too, and I cut her off for it". Some people asked me for her url so they wouldn't be able to accidentally interact/befriend someone so vile, and reading what you say now - I guess it's a good thing that I spoke up? I wasn't speaking up to necessarily speak up, I was just... dying for people to look at me and tell me I was gonna be okay. I still am. My post wasn't a list of screenshots and names and numbers bc I didn't want to start a war, my post was just me sobbing out "someone ruined my coping mechanism, someone ruined my special interest without remorse and told me to basically just Stop Being Triggered About It, someone hurt me when I was dying. I am still dying." It was me venting, all venting, about the pain I am in and why I had been gone for almost a year. I was so out of my mind suicidal, not thinking anyone was going to care that I disappeared. I was just gonna do 5 quick commissions and then leave again. My post was more like a desperate cry for help, explaining why it's been so hard for me to self ship and why I'm rarely posting art. I couldn't just come back and not address my c-ptsd because I'm not myself anymore, I'm a complete wreck and people would immediately know it when seeing me upon my return. I felt so, so lonely, I was so desperate for someone to look at me and say "Keri, it's gonna be okay!" and thank god over 500 people did, and that was just the first week, I lost count of how many supportive messages there are now. And thank god you did! Right now! The support is overwhelming and I need it so badly, you have no idea how much I rely on you guys sending me support. I needed to read your message badly. Thank you for thinking I'm strong and for telling me. I feel... so powerless, it's unbelievable how bad I feel. but it's messages like yours that keep me going, I'm deadly serious.

Thank you for also telling me Starscream wouldn't hurt me ;-; literally any transformers character out there, my traumatized brain is like "oh they're gonna hurt you! remember all of the things your abuser sent/did! and she ships with these characters so naturally these same characters would wish harm upon you too, so you can't self ship with them anymore, they want you dead!!" and it hurts so bad. I fell out of habit of drawing self ship, I used to draw every week, but it's been over 6 months since I've tried to make anything for myself other than one (1) vent drawing. It took me such a long time to stop having anxiety attacks seeing Starscream, now instead I just... cry. So much. Which is progress I think, even if it's still not good... you do bring up a good point, he was abused too. When my first girlfriend I ever had hurt me physically and emotionally in the past when I was around 21-ish, I turned to Starscream because he was just as broken as me. And his RiD2015 form especially, my god he is so angry from all the abuse he endured from Megatron, just like i was angry from the abuse I endured from my first ex -- just like I am angry now with this recent ex-friend who abused me. I used to be able to turn to Starscream for my anger/hurt, knowing how he'd relate and understand me more than anyone else, but... now it's like... he just feels so far away from me. Hyperfixating on Transformers for 3 years, thinking of nothing except Transformers and having all of my creativity poured into the joy I received from my F/Os there -- all of it, gone. My passion, my creativity, my will to keep trying to live, it's just gone. I feel like I'm nothing without my comfort characters and losing them, having them turn into c-ptsd triggers, my god it's... insane! It feels like my own heart was ripped out. I am so desperate to get them back. I want to feel safe around them again, I want to fully believe they'd love me. especially my Starlight ;-; I managed to see the rise of the beasts movie this week, I didn't handle it well the first time, but the second time I managed okay. I tried to imagine some self ship scenarios with a couple of characters, it didn't feel like it used to but it wasn't as bad as before. Today however I feel like I'm at rock bottom, I can't imagine any good scenarios with anyone but it's like that everyday. I am hoping that with more time and effort and therapy, I can... try to function like a fucking person at some point in the future

You don't even know me, yet you took the time to write out this whole thing just for me. Thank you for doing that. Your message was incredibly soothing for me to read, I need to read things like this everyday... that's why I kept this in my inbox for a few days. I'll go back and reread what you wrote here every now and then. Thank you for having so much confidence in me. I really and truly hope I can heal, and with your kind words I can try to keep hanging in there until that day comes.

#long post #anonymous #asks #keepsake

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