#I wish I had more wins

[cathasocd]

Just a feeling

#ocd #my art #I know people's lives are not accurately depicted through social media alone #but man #I wish I had more wins #does this make any sense idk #vent art #I suppose

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Mushroom body

(for @mikkeneko)

#SVSSS #shen qingqiu #mushrooms #body horror #better drawn mdzs #<-tag for higher effort art. At times like this I really wish I chose something else. #What is an October raffle for if not to end off with a little mushroomy body horror? #This one is inspired by my massive disappointment upon discovering that sqq's 'mushroom body' was just....guy shaped. #Come ON where is the fun in that? Why are we being kept from Fungi Amalgamation Monster Loving? #It's not going to stop Luo Binghe! SQQ could be a shapeless lump of slime and LBH and would still be over the moon for him. #Thank you *so* much for the prompt! I had so much fun. I love mushrooms and doing research was a delight! My citation list is long! #Broke my style a bit but I think it was a good choice. I have been trying to practice non-dot eyes more and its slowly coming along! #Also huge congrats mikkeneko for winning Twice In A Row!! #Your odds were a little over 1 in 1000! Lucky you!

[quirkle2]

he's such a fuckin nerd

#qkdraws #id in alt #best thing abt drawing characters with canonically terrible fashion senses #is that i (bad at fashion) can draw him in Whatever I Want #bc the result will either be comments like ''oh my god look at that fit that's so ugly and on brand /pos'' #OR ''YO TERU'S WEARING SMTH GOOD FOR ONCE THANK GOD'' #i always win. there is no losing here #that fit in the corner ? idk if it's good. i have no fuckin clue #maybe it's bad. maybe it's rly cute. i don't fucking know #and i never will. and neither will teru #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #mp100 teruki #teruki hanazawa #typoed his name yesterday as ''teruki bananzawa'' #so . what with that what u will #im kind of obsessed w him a lil bit #u know it's a good show when u can't even pick a fav character bc u love them all sm #is it reigen is it mob is it ritsu is it teru who knows #one thing i do regret with my fic is that i wish i had included more teru #he needed more screen time .... i robbed him

[nativehueofresolution]

it stands out to me how armand frequently uses endearments for daniel ('beloved', 'my love'). it's something i can't recall him ever doing with his other lovers - typically, he expresses his affections through grand romantic speeches (which has its own appeal, to be sure). but with daniel, he's a little sappier, a little sillier. they will spend nights together people watching or putting on a movie they've seen a dozen times already. there are still grand gestures, like giving daniel night island or showering him with precious items, but daniel is also the one buying all the airline tickets for armand as he makes them fly around the world and explain things like long distance phone calls and tax brackets. the sweeping romance also exists alongside the mundane acts of existing together and indulging your loved one's weird habits and using petnames. it's very humanizing and sweet.

#devil's minion #as ever i am obligated to say i think it's an interesting difference that makes the relationship unique; not a competition they're winning #all the relationships have their own unique elements #but yeah i do think armand is free to be his goofy weird creepy self in that relationship #without it always being about sweeping the other person off their feet #he was pretty relaxed with bianca in his own way but he was also still trying to be #the venetian princeling and he knew she had her own bond with marius. she wasn't just his #so that kind of was always an element present in how he behaved #with daniel i think there was also a bit more of a give and take than maybe he'd had before #daniel taught him things - armand gave him the world on a silver platter #daniel had no control over his life but armand would do anything #i am the devil's minion and he grants my every wish of it all #iwtv #kaitlin speaks

[mbslost]

hi. yes i came back for another yapping session, ironic.

i would like to express some of my feelings towards... some interesting things.

1. The Strade nazi drawing

i talked about his before, i am aware, but later (while reading other opinions as well) i got reminded about EP (Electricpuke for those who dont know him). did we all forgot HOW MANY nazi drawings he made? dont you believe that's an influence as well? if i remember correctly, Gato cut ties with him because of his abusive behaviour (there arent many people talking about this but some user are aware about his actions. sadly i wasnt in the community when that happened)

literally there are people calling Gato a nazi when she doesn't support the ideology. why did no one act the same with EP? different standards? the fact he left (probably) for good? still its not an excuse to call Gato a nazi. also she apologised multiple times. again MULTIPLE TIMES. even in the callout post in twt you can see the fact she IS sorry for drawing that. that she REGRETS it

edit: kay found a ss on tt from the user @/gorturic where Gato said this as well

again, she doesn't support any nazi shit :/

2. The way others silence opinions that they dont like

im not saying you should be forced to agree with it, but when you make a callout account, normally, you let multiple people say their opinions over that thing. you can even show proof when you see someone is wrong. thats how argument work, crazy ik.

i start to see that if you defend Gato or just leave the community because the fandom its on thin ice, you'll be harassed and bullied for your choices. first of all, HOW ABOUT WE LEAVE PEOPLE THAT DONT WANT TO ASSOCIATE WITH BTD/TPOF ANYMORE ALONE. good? literally saw multiple users being harassed by this. its THEIR decision, suck it up. also can we stop SENDING DEATH THREATS???

or the fact that if you do have a point, they'll immediately cancel it with the "oh but its not important". it can be if you have some proofs for their misinformation (just like i proved the variety of poc characters Gato CREATED. didnt talk about Ren since he's another story)

3. Lack of proof for the side allegations.

if people noticed mods harassing people sm, why didnt they talk? why arent there ss of their conversations? we dont even know (most of us) what they even commented about (aside of Pussyspieler drawing). or the twt user that was wronged. that situation was like.. kind of a "im more autistic so you should shut up" (i have to add that i asked people on the spectrum about this and that was their point of view) of course the mod shouldn't have said it like that but.. its more of a misunderstanding really.. that doesnt mean you cant be upset. you absolutely can. everyone can react differently so dont harass them for feeling down or for being frustrated.

also the spanish (or mexican idk) users that just copied and translated @/renhanasgf posts with little to no new information. just the same thing. (although they said something of Gato not sending merch to latin America. probably because of the laws back then or the fact that the transport fee would be high af. im still searching for the reason tho so ill need some time for that one).

4. This fandom is messed up

people when fans of horror porn games are problematic 🤯. i agree that some people are being like extreme with their reactions, but no one is perfect here. just like i approached the situation completely wrong, they did the same. of course, now if you go around and be a racist piece of shit, you shoudl just stay off the internet for a while. luckily more approach the "like the art not the artist" thing.

look. you can always block users that you dont like (just like i do to those who are either into csam,thanks for telling me ab this term anon!, or incest). i know. shocking that people can block others.

after all these fandoms are not for the weak. there may be some safe spaces in it as well but... lets be real... its still going to be problematic. if you cant handle the community or how others act around here, then id suggest for you to not have a close interaction with others. like uhm, just, appreciate the content, not every person around here. just be aware of the users, stau safe okay?

5. Will i stop yapping?

not until i will see an agreement in the fandom. Gato is a human, of course she will do mistakes. especially if she's anxious or tired. having hundreds of people around you its hard and i can imagine it. having supoortive people only to wake up with people hating you. i hope she's safe and that she wont have to go to the hospital again. i pray for her well being, and to others that got spammed with those disgusting comments.

im not saying we should forget about this like.. her poor management and emotional way of responding to things, but is it truly worth it? to force a person to apologise just because they tried to fix things?

i also dont think ill stop because i just feel like im the only one that does talk here (trying to even prove wrong on some things). if others do it as well, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAG ME I WANNA SEE THEM😭 also because most people are still so confused about EVERYTHING. for some reason this drama its only getting more popular on tt for some reason.. which is a big no no since there are a lot of YOUNG people. i believe this should be talked here, and on twitter. (idk what to say about telegram)

ill stop here since my sickness got me. i will edit it later to add or correct myself but *sighs*

please stay safe and try to view more opinions over this. DONT SPAM OR HARASS ANYONE WHO ONLY WANTED TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS. we'll see on Sunday how things will turn out.

(if i missed something out or said something wrong please correct me)

#gatobob #btd #boyfriend to death #tinr #btd2 #i also got tired of this or the multiple hateful messages that i had to delete since there were full of kys #untill then we'll see. i also wish to take a break because i got ill and this axiety aint helping much #whatever happens i wish Gatobob will be safe and will come back without any more backlash. #i do realise that me talking too much wont help either but.. i cant help it. the voices are winning

[akkivee]

THE SS TIER KUUKOUS FROM THE CHAPTER!!!!!!!!

#this is vee speaking #IM SO SAD THE MAMGA IS OVER I WISH WE HAD GOTTEN MORE CHARACTER BUILDING CHAPTERS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #BUT ​I AM TEMPORARILY MOLLIFIED BY THE PANEL TOP RIGHT HIS B00B$ ARE NEARLY SPILLING OUT #AND THAT BUYS MY SILENCE FOR A MONTH LMAO #sasara-san said that he was surprised kuukou’s ability wasn’t attack based #and i’m glad for the confirmation that we should have been shook by it lmao #hitoya really wanted to win with kuukou and jyushi tho and felt satisfied with being able to see jakurai lose his cool #and *clenches fist* despite the rushed pace of this entire run they sure did manage to fit the culmination of hitoya’s growth in that battle #so that buys two more weeks of silence from me LMAO

[inkykeiji]

>.<

#tw clari overshares #i really need to start making new friends on here and being more active #but the issue is just the mere *thought* of that fucking terrifies me #just typing out that single sentence has my heart pounding and my hands shaking and my stomach churning #i really wish i was kidding or over-exaggerating #i want so badly to make new friends and be active in a little community on here again #but i’m so so so scared #(of what?????????? of what!!!!!!!!!!!) #bring me back to 2020 clari who talked to people despite the anxiety and was so damn active and was having an absolute blast!!! #what happened to her!!!!! #she got really sick i guess #it’s crazy like sometimes i just scroll through my archive and i can SEE it #i can see myself getting sicker and sicker and withdrawing more and more #feeding into the fear and letting it win #and now i’m here #in this hole that i’m going to have to claw myself out of IN SPITE OF the terror i feel #i miss being a part of this community so much #i miss being able to post little drabbles willy nilly and not having breakdowns over them not being perfect #NOT obsessing over my own work and flaws it may have #i miss having fun #YES my writing is extremely important to me and YES i want to one day write for a living in some capacity #but since when did that mean i had to cut everyone off??? seclude myself in a protective little bubble??? #the only person who can fix this is me #(obviously hahaha) #it’s about time i put on my big girl pant(ie)s and faced that fear head on #i’m so sick of it dominating and controlling so much of my life #why did i let it take something so fucking important to me??? #i have to end it!!! #if u got this far in the tags: thank you and i’m sorry for venting #i just feel like i NEED to say this

[kkpwnall]

🎁 six sentence sunday 🎁

rules: in a separate post, write the last six sentences you wrote on a wip. if you haven't written lately, write six sentences for this challenge.

tagged by the lovely and effervescent @fastcardotmp3 and @judasofsuburbia thanks for kickstarting me into some writing, y'all.

trying to write on one of my winter fics, but not yet sure if this is it, or if it'll become something else. anyway! here's a lil somethin somethin:

"Is this because the lady on the bus was glaring at you?" "I don't know what her problem was," Eddie sniffs, "my shirt even has an angel on it." Steve looks again at the shirt in question. At the white, red, and gold design of an 'angel' on black fabric. More wings and eyeballs than he can count. "It's a biblically accurate angel, Eddie." "It's festive!" he argues. 

no pressure, no obligation tags for anyone who wants to play today including @cheatghost @heybluechild @fragilecapric0rnn @gothbat99 @bit-odd-innit @hellsfireclub @starrystevie @starryeyedjanai @scarcrossdlvrs

#is this it #is it something else #is it just a drabble #who's to say #surely not i #but it’s six more sentences than i had at the start of the day so i’m calling it a win #aiming to write two winter fics before the end of the year wish me luck #kk writes #tag game

[onewholivesinloops]

i miss satokoposting and sayoposting but these days i just go to class, come back home and do my course work, and collapse

#the one benefit to being busier is that it helps me feel even more disconnected from all the discourse i keep catching glimpses of on here? #almost 9 out of 10 of the things people here argue about really start to feel meaningless when you step outside for a little bit lol #nevertheless i do wish i had more time because there are some things i've been wanting to do for a while #but i'm not going to complain too much because this also makes it easier to ignore The Problems tm #you win some and you lose some i guess #gamo.txt

[ram-to-the-ham]

The Sergeants… Different

The newest Sergeant on their little rag-tag team is an odd one to say. It’s not that Kyle thinks he’s weird or anything it’s just… he has some abnormalities about him. He mutters to himself, and is often seen staring off into space. Almost like he’s looking at someone.

One time Kyle was rounding the corner to the gym in the very early hours of the morning. When he heard a very passionate bout of whisper shouting coming from a familiar voice echoing in the gym. He discreetly peaked around the corner to catch Soap furiously pacing back and forth muttering about something or another. Kyle couldn’t really remember for the life of him, but it bewildered him so much that he made a break for it back to his own room on the base.

Another quirk was Soaps over protectiveness of this ratty bloodstained journal he kept on his person at all times. And he wished he was exaggerating but, Soap had that thing with him everywhere. The exception was for when they were in the showers but other than that, you couldn’t see the sergeant without knowing that that journal was somewhere on his person. Did he mention that Soap is extremely over protective of it? Because he very much is. Kyle watched Soap nearly snap a recruits wrist in half because the dumbass thought to try to swipe the journal from one of Soaps tac-vest pockets. He remembered seeing Soap mumble something to the other before the recruit scurried away with his tail between his legs.

The sergeant wasn’t the only weird thing going on either. Ever since Soap joined, Kyles noticed that things have been almost moving on their own? He hasn’t said a word to anyone else about it lest he bent sent for a psych eval. But cupboards he swore were closed when he saw them, became open the moment he wasn’t looking. Pencils he knew had been on the table of the common room are now over on the counter. It’s nothing major but it’s driving him up the goddamn walls. And he can’t say a fucking word about it.

It just seems an air of bizarreness seems to follow their new Scottish sergeant like a lost pup. But Kyle can’t find it in himself to blame Soap for any of it. The man isn’t mean or off putting by any other regard, and frankly he’s one of the nicest people Kyle has ever met. He’s a bit cocky and smart mouthed, but he’s insanely smart and has a bleeding heart that it makes Kyle wonder how he ever survived in the military. Despite his quirks however, Kyle thinks Soap will be a good addition to their already eccentric team.

#uncanny soap for the win #gaz loves his unhinged best friend #I wish we had more content of Soap being jsut a little off putting #I think he deserves it #anyway this is an add on to my au that I’ve been thinking about #I have so many thoughts about this au #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #soap #gaz #141 #codmw2 #…. 09 soap #:)

[kaeyapilled]

when people talk about that honkai character that has ball joints like a doll and say that they wish scaramouches design had those too and mfs in the comments are like "YOU DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION TO SCARAS STORY! >:(" they're kinda missing the point. this is less about scaramouches fucking ball joints and more about how bland and repetitive genshin is allowed to be because it will bring profit either way

#i mean i wouldn't exactly call honkai a game with unique character models but. for the sake of comparing two games from the same company #its also funny when the comments are all like oh you didn't read scaramouches story did you *smug face* #and then their explanations and defenses are just misinformation and lies about the character #anyways. this is the inconsequential discourse of the day #complaining tag #frankly. i do not care about scaramouches story. i wish he had cool puppet design #idk i just think it's neat and more interesting #i understand why the ball joints wouldnt work with bits of his story blah blah do i look like i care?? #''hes becoming more human'' i dont think that depends on what his limbs are connected by. #''like albedo! he looks perfectly human too'' 1) different situation 2) its a bold assumption that i also dont wish albedo looked a bit odd #anyways visibly non human scara 4 the win #or at the very least scara who might Look human but his body is so deeply weird when you inspect it closer

[welcometogrouchland]

Find it funny how willow very much WAS the voice of reason a lot of the time in the demon realm but then she gets to the human realm and is so confused and scared that she sort of just sits back and tries to have fun and make memories where she can. We love a self care queen. Being stupid is good for her <3

#ramblings of a lunatic #the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #willow park #she did what she had to do as the mom friend but now there is an actual mom in the picture and she WILL allow herself to be 15 #which is good for her honestly. since i think (wishfully but i think) she might have some heavier stuff coming up in special 2 #like don't get me wrong her arc is 99% done BUT now she's gonna be reacting to belos possessed hunter and also HIM BEING A GRIMWALKER #IF we get a tad more wittebane lore she'll probably be there for it (along with gus- they're hunters besties and saw the statue) #((here's how ghost!caleb can still win /j)) #like who know maybe she'll be well adjusted next time we see her but also she did casually mention getting revenge so.. #(willow and darius team up when. if any bitches in this cast want vengance on that mold man it's them) #OR maybe there'll be feelings of...idk- guilt at not noticing hunter was getting possessed/not being able to help him? #or feeling protective of him since he (presumably) has no magic rn (he can learn glyphs but he was good at staffs) #and who knows what that stirs up in her since she's used to being on the otherside of that equation #again. 90% sure this is wishful thinking as a willow stan w/ brainrot. but let me dream /j #anyway yeah. dumbass willow for the win! stop trying to be the glue all the time! get silly with it!

[densitywell]

well i'm glad the outcome of Ashton taking the shard didn't discourage the other players from taking big risks, given that with his shard not activating until Fearne took the other one, it seems like the only mechanical impact of them succeeding in their attempt was not being permadead and a -2 to arguably their most important stat

#wish they had talked abt the actual rejection more on 4sd i rlly want to hear matt's reasoning and how taliesin was involved in the choice #i keep coming back to loving the place it brought ashton and the rest of the hells to in the story but not loving the actual rejection #either from a dnd perspective or as in-story implications. there was something so perfect abt ashton giving a middle finger to destiny #and doing the impossible again. but nope destiny wins another round #and yet i love all the character work attached to both ashton's failed attempt and fearne's successful one!! so i'm trying to focus on that #crposting #cr spoilers

[taviacoolcat]

it's not enough to defend jill warrick on the internet i need a gun

#cat talks #sure okay i wish she had more content just as much as the next person #but people have complained about everything she has done and everything she didn't do like 😭 #she just can't win!! #i'm sorry to tell you guys but. ffxvi is clive's story. and it's an action rpg and not a dating sim #final fantasy xvi #jill warrick

[cowboyhorsegirl]

Steve is most likely to end up in a lavender marriage and Tony's most likely to end up in a “married for tax/immigration/inheritance fraud” reasons.

They meet as married men and pine for each other hardcore and are also trying not to read too much into how their interest seems reciprocated and oh nooooo both Immigration/the IRS and the the Church/in-laws/DADT era army dudes or whatever are snooping around at the same time at each of their marriages and they have to be so good at being married at the people they are married to oh noooooo and they other guy doesn’t know why they are suddenly being iced out and maybe they were just imagining things? maybe it’s for the best with all these eyes around on them…

#not to get too real but i love queer people. we see each other and we save each other #i wish i could talk in depth about this lgbtq history panel i went to tonight without doxxing myself #but basically all of these panelists were older gay ppl & one of them won a very monumental court case in the state #and right after introductions one of the other panelists turned to her and thanked her so profusely for the sacrifices she had made #and the work she did to win that case #and that by achieving that win for herself she paved the way for this other panelist to have her own family recognized legally by the state #i don't know i'm not explaining it well but something about knowing and seeing that gratitude in real time. understanding so viscerally tha #so much of our history has happened within one or two lifetimes. to the point that many of the champions of our current rights are alive #today for us to learn from and listen to and THANK #i met two nb ppl through school last year and have since become very close to them #they are the only two ppl on this planet who use my pronouns the way i want them to be used. they switch it up every time and i love them #a little bit more each time i hear them talk about me. it's magical #my childhood best friend told me he liked boys and girls like a month after we first met each other in the fourth grade #he told me there's a word for that; he's bisexual #i think abt how incredible that was a lot. how brave he was to say that and to own that and how long it might have taken me to figure #out that i was the same had he not said it. #anyway all this to say that yes absolutely i love this #steve and tony meet at a military gala. steve's being recognized for his service and tony and his wife were invited by some higher-up who #imagined he could use the event as a way to cozy up to him and earn some good favor before negotiations start on SI's contract renewal #their eyes meet while steve's up on stage. he hates these things. hates being dragged into the spotlight. he feels naked and bare and #vulnerable every time. trapped in enemy territory with no cover. but he sucks it up he kisses his wife on the cheek and she smiles #big and beautiful; perfect like they've run their lines 1000 times over. like they could recite each other's parts by heart #he makes his way to the podium. breathes deep to center himself before he launches into his thankless thank-yous. steve's a terrible liar #but somehow he's made it this far in his career. he can manage for one more night. except #right as he lifts his eyes to speak he sees him. bright eyes burning into his from a shadowed table in the corner. the brass speaking at hi #on his left and a lovely woman who's bored and unimpressed on his right. and him looking directly back at steve #steve's breath catches and he chokes on air. trips on his lines. forgets himself and loses the beat of the scene #he looks down at his notes and ignores them. raises his face to the light and plays himself to be seen by an audience of one. #anon #signed sealed delivered

[magentagalaxies]

fucking love it when one of my professors brings up kids in the hall in giving me feedback, not in a pandering way but in a "this is an observation i've made about their work and how you could channel this aspect in your own comedy to get yourself out of your comfort zone and play with new things"

#shoutout to my improv teacher fr #we were talking about how i don't use dynamic physicality and movement as much in my characters #and she brought up how so much of their characters are very physical and encouraged me to play with that #and also specifically character temperament and emotions and stuff bc i have a specific range i play in #and it's funny even tho i personally think my comedy style is most like bruce #and scott in a lot of ways has these uninhibited moments i wish i could throw myself into #in terms of character range/voice/temperament/emotion? i'm playing heavily in the scott zone rn #and my professor was like ''that's great but also i wanna see you play a bruce girl'' #we also had a whole conversation about gender and kith and how gender plays into my improv or is absent from it a lot of the time #and holy shit erin my improv teacher wins cis ally of the day award she was so respectful while also having good feedback #(her feedback was low key ''be more overtly trans even if it makes cis people uncomfortable'') #bc like. i'm very overtly trans in my standup rn like you know how aubrey is #but in improv? sure i play many characters regardless of gender but that's the thing. it's ''regardless'' of gender #so i sort of default to being neutral so that others can project onto me. it's sort of ''idgaf i'm chill'' which in itself still is radical #but it gives ''cis allys'' who don't want to deal with gender an outlet to just project onto me in a way that i could own much more #anyway the way i process feedback is often by repeating it to someone else so like. this didn't need to be a post this is for me #but idk if you're following along with my comedy journey (or even if you just want to hear my professor reference kids in the hall!) #maybe this is of interest to you. in any case i'm very excited to play with all this stuff much more #and i definitely feel confident in my comedic identity and trans identity and most of all my trans-comedian identity #and i'm excited to see how i grow from here