#I wanted to finish this before that in case he's revealed to be evil lmao

[the-violet-galaxy]

If Sun let Ruin (try to) help out in the Daycare.

He's trying his best!

#The Sun and Moon Show #TSAMS ruin #SAMS Ruin #TSAMS Solar #SAMS Solar #This was great for practicing expressions and poses #Audio is from Doctor Who #Sun and Moon Show #I think Ruin is innocent but with the lore looking like it's going to hit a turning point soon #I wanted to finish this before that in case he's revealed to be evil lmao

[oodlyenough]

with the apollo justice ports around the corner I finally made a concerted effort to finish AAI. there was a period where i thought i'd play both investigations games AND tgaa before now. lol. lmao even

fandom wasn't kidding that last case can long

miscellaneous spoilers and overall thoughts on AAI1. also it's very long

let's get some good stuff up top to start:

it was pretty funny

the pixel sprites were soooo cute, and most of the character art was nice in general

i liked seeing more of edgeworth and franziska together. this was 80% of the reason i played the game to begin with. stupid little details like the fact that she does, actually, still call him "miles" occasionally were nice to have, and i liked a lot of their bratty sibling interactions

callisto yew was the best lmao i loved her

kay's cute. i gotta disagree with the common fanon that she's literally edgeworth's daughter, on account of it's been two days and someone else has raised her to near adulthood, but being a teenager who shows up sometimes to bother him is a very funny thing for her to be, anyway

the yatagarsu actually being a toxic polycule was funny as shit lmao i love it. and kay at the end saying she wants to find 3 fellow teenage beauties to do it with her fhkldhglkhlfg yes girl end up on reddit queer housing discourse i believe in u babe

i didn't like lang all that much to begin with but once we got to the shih-na reveal i was all in, lmfaoooo. i joked "i hope he eats a poison necklace for her" and five minutes later he was taking a bullet. amazing. in all seriousness their relationship felt like much of what i enjoyed about dahlia and phoenix minus the stuff i felt was stupid. let's hear it for toxic workplace romances. edgey comes out of 3-5 like "well that was a lot" and then meets some new spiky weirdo to have homoerotic rivalry with only to discover that guy is also insane about some evil woman

cammy and ms teneiro were also great. lot of funny women in some of these cases. i like that.

this game could have attempted to sell me on some het romance for edgeworth -- it wouldn't have worked, but i wouldn't have exactly been surprised if it had tried, yknow -- but anyway instead it had miscellaneous women flirt with him while he was consistently baffled and/or oblivious and/or revolted. don't worry mr edgeworth i saw your magenta suit

i think broadly that covers the stuff I liked. which leads me to ... stuff I did not:

this game was... rough, imo. after i finished the trilogy this summer i was excited to play this, in particular because one of my few but key complaints with aa3-5 was that franziska and edgeworth just kind of disappeared and i was hoping this would give more exploration and closure to their characters.

that... did not happen. i felt like i was waiting for it to hit a point and get good for pretty much the entire game; it'd be like "well at least franziska is here soon" "well i want to meet kay" "well there's the baby franziska case" "well it's the finale surely it'll be fun!" and mostly none of that really materialized. largely i found it disappointing and anticlimactic.

i don't think i learned anything new about the existing characters -- edgeworth just kind of seemed to be reiterating lessons we already learned in the trilogy, and i felt they negated a lot of franziska's trilogy development and/or flanderized her a lot. the new characters are ok -- i LOVED yew/shih-na lmfao, and I like Kay, and I eventually came to like Lang once I saw him be unhinged about shih-na. but overall i felt the character work was weaker than I was expecting, and without the investment I have from the trilogy I doubt I'd have finished the game. the bratworth + baby franziska case was my fave of the game, because it was fun to see them together in that period of their lives, but even then I don't think how edgeworth was written makes any real sense with aa1 -- i think trilogy bratworth would take the easy conviction against gumshoe and be done with it. that was like. pretty core to the first three games.

I didn't find anything particularly emotional. I WAS interested in Callisto and her dead sister as compared to Kay and her dead father but, never mind, that was a lie. They tried to convince me KG8 was personal to everyone, but it didn't really feel like it for anyone but Kay -- who I like but met two cases ago, and whose connection to even Edgeworth is tenuous. Like they make it pretty clear Franziska is haunted by that case but ... why? Because she regards it as a semi failure I guess...? Like sure, I guess, but ... that's kind of remote. Compare to the trilogy finale stakes of defendant Edgeworth, Maya kidnapped, Phoenix falling off a bridge + Maya missing... the big threat here was that some guy we just recently met might go on to murder other people we've never met in foreign countries. Objectively yes that's bad, but it's not exactly emotionally gripping, imo.

I feel like the nature of the games and its place in the broader AA universe meant the stakes were off. edgeworth and his allies get accused of murder every five minutes in this game, but none of it ever feels real, because by "accused" they mean the police ask a few questions. in AA terms, this is nothing. there's no detention center or arrest or the threat of a 3 day trial and inexplicable death penalty. i've been saying for ages that i would love to see defendant franziska, everyone else got a turn!!, etc -- and technically this last case gave it to me except, well, she was one of about a dozen people accused over the span of the world's longest case, there's no real threat there, and frankly where's the fun in franziska being accused of murder if not for her to grudgingly accept phoenix as her representation. AAI's determination that everything happen pre-trial means that mostly none of it felt very serious; no one even gets arrested. maybe in a vacuum the threat of arrest would feel like enough, but in a series where you have Maya as Murder Charges Georg it just felt like nothing was really on the line -- what's the worst that happens, they get arrested and they hire phoenix? lol. don't threaten me with a good time!

this post is a million words long so I'll stop there. in conclusion, the worst ace attorney game I have played so far. fortunately(?) for AAI and unfortunately for me, i have not yet played dual destinies or spirit of justice, so stay tuned to see if it gets dethroned, lmfao.

i will, probably, eventually give AAI2 a try, if only to better understand everyone's fanfiction, but my hopes are pretty low.

#oodly plays AAI #ace attorney investigations

[frauleinandry]

finally finished my persona q playthrough! ultimately, i thought it did some things well and some things not so well, but it was definitely more of a positive experience than a negative one. i'd rate it 3/5 in general. detailed thoughts under the cut!

for a bit of context, i like persona 3 a lot, dislike 4, and have minimal experience with etrian odessey (played a demo, enjoyed it, but knew the lack of plot/characters would mean I wouldn't have fun playing 40+ hours of it). i wanted to get through this game and q2 before persona 5 tactica came out so i knew what to expect story-wise (though the chances of me finished q2 before november are pretty much non-existent now lmao).

starting with the plot, i thought most of it was good, but there were a couple of weaker aspects. the gradually escalating creepiness of the labyrinths up until the rei reveal was really well done, and i absolutely loved the twist with her character. the way the themes from personas 3 and 4 were combined was sublime - her rage and sadness was so poignant, and it definitely managed to tug at my heartstrings. zen's whole deal is interesting too - i find persona doesn't tend to implement its god characters very well, so he and chronos were a refreshing take on it.

on the flipside, i didn't particular enjoy the plotline related to the actual persona characters. i chose to play the p3 route to avoid as many teddie/yosuke shenanigans as i could, and the whole senpai vs kohei thing felt like a child had written it. it's basically what happen in p3 canon but shittier. it reeeeeeeally didn't help that they use the investigation team as an example of a 'good' team, since their dynamics are rancid. i also think persona q really could have done a lot more with the 'ps: you're gonna forget this once you leave' thing, as opposed to it being a one-note revelation in the epilogue.

moving on to the characters... hm. very mixed bag here. on the positive side, it gave shinjiro in particular some much needed screen time - he actually felt like a genuine member of SEES here, as opposed to the guy who shows up and is then killed off almost instantly. it also toned down yosuke's creepiness a lot, which. well, i ain't complaining. also, i'm very happy yu/minato actually get to have a personality here. tbh persona MCs would really benefit from being upgrade from silent protags into something more similar to fire emblem three hopes shez (though probably with a little bit less character than them).

at the same time, akihiko (and to a lesser degree chie) are utterly butchered, and the portrayal of numerous other characters feels very surface level. sure, the cast is too large to really flesh everyone out, but... nobody should be feeling blatantly OOC. zen and rei also didn't really feel like people until the end of the 4th labyrinth, which makes sense from a plot perspective, but is bad from an actually-getting-attached-to-them one. as good as i found their storyline, as individuals, they're both pretty forgettable. ultimately, i think the character writing is fine in the strolls/during the sillier moments, but falls apart during the serious ones.

gameplay, yet again, was another mixed bag. the dungeon crawling is a lot better than in persona 3/4, especially in the later labyrinths where FOE movement is a lot more complex. i enjoyed most of the puzzles, and the little character moments scattered around the levels were fun too. mapping was cute, even if it was a bit of a novelty - i can't see it working on the switch or anything, but the 3DS is a good console from things like that.

of course, here's where the '.... but' comes in. in persona q case, i comes in the form of the combat sucking ass. the boost system is irritating to wrangle, but a necessary evil if you want good personas/not to chew through tons of items. in the end, i used impure reach naoto to basically skip 90% of the fights. also, what the fuck was that chronos gimmick? like, don't get me wrong, the death timer was cool in theory, but when i first fought him i only had 3 revival items on me because i simply wasn't using them!! suffice to say, i had to fight him and the spider again, and was pretty unimpressed with that.

the game is also really hampered by not sharing party exp. there's no way to use every unit unless you do tons and tons of grinding (and who has the time for that in the year 2023), but you also get penalised for not training certain units too. i didn't unlock ultimate personas in my run-through since i benched yu after the second labyrinth and didn't want to spend ages levelling him up asdfghjkl.

there was one gameplay thing i thought persona q did really well though... and that was sub-personas! god, i fucking loved that idea. like, i love it to the degree that i'd legitimately prefer it in the mainline games over the current wildcard system - let's just say i made an excited post when i saw this feature was returning in tactica. it adds a level of customisation which means any character can shine with the right investment, and i just think that's neat.

#there is probably typos and grammar mistakes in this but eh #i'm too tired to care about that #persona q #review tag

[jenoismydad]

can you do a nsfw a to z for jeno please?

this was really fun to write! took me a while though

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Once you’re done fucking he’ll treat you like a princess. Helps you clean up and gets you a fresh pair of warm and comfortable clothes. Lets you snuggle up into him and fall asleep in his arms. Whispers gentle apologies in your ear while you doze off. The next day he’ll massage your thighs for you if they hurt too much (but honestly you’re so used to his brutality so they don’t hurt that often)

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Jeno likes your tummy. He likes how smooth and soft the skin is. Never forgets to place a trail of kisses down the skin and suck dark marks into it for him to admire later. Even when you’re not having sex, his hand is always slipping under your shirt to rest on your tummy. For him, he takes pride in his arms. Mostly because you like them. Loves how you tightly grasp onto them while he’s ruthlessly pounding into you.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

When it comes cumming, there’s two things that Jeno likes. Firstly, cumming inside of you. Sometimes he gets so lost in the feeling of your walls engulfing his walls that he doesn’t even realise he’s close until its too late. Buries his cum deep inside of you and sits back to watch it drip out of you. Other than that, Jeno likes cumming on your tummy. It’s his favourite part of your body and he likes how its slowly cascades down the expanse of your abdomen. Also likes how filthy you look with his cum all over you.

D = Dirty Secret (A dirty secret of theirs)

Jeno pockets your panties and keeps them as trophies. He keeps them hidden under his own underwear. Whenever you’re away from each other, he’ll pull one out and start reminiscing the sex you had that day. Like he associates each one of your panties with the sex you had the day you wore them. Usually gets him really horny so he ends up jerking off while replaying the sex in his head. You still don’t know where most of your underwear goes, so he makes sure to buy you new laces from time to time.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Whatever experience Jeno has, he’s gained from fucking you. Boy didn’t even know how to make out before he did it with you. As a teenager he’s jerked off to a lot of porn so he’d always try to replicate what he saw in that when you guys would initially fuck. But now he’s just so familiar with your body and how it reacts to him so he knows exactly how he needs to treat you.

F = Favourite Position (What positions you tend to use the most)

Basically anything where he’s doing most of the work. Something where he gets to pound into you without any obstructions. So that means either missionary or doggy. Pretty basic but he knows how to make the most of it. Doesn’t really let you ride him that much because its harder to fuck into you that way and you usually don’t scream when you’re on top.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Jeno is very serious. Sex is not a joke to him and the only sign of amusement he’s ever show is when you’re begging him to fuck you while he’s teasing the life out of you. Finds it cute when you’re being needy but he’d never tell you that. He’s just super commanding during sex and like i’ve said in other posts, he’s not evil, he’s charismatic.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)

Clean shaven lmao. He just doesn’t like to keep hair down there because he finds it annoying to maintain. Doesn’t mind if his partner has hair though. Just finds it more convenient when he has no hair. Shaves it regularly so that there’s no ‘stubble’ (idk what you’d call it sry)

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Very intimate. Even though he’s drilling into you, he’s doing it to show you how good he wants to make you feel. Eye contact is a very crucial thing to him although sometimes he’ll let you off the hook because he knows its hard to keep your eyes open when he’s fucking you so good. You guys do make love, in the morning mostly because the mood’s all lovey dovey, but he ends up finding it kinda hard to control himself and ends up slamming into you.

J = Jack Off (How often do they tend to masturbate)

Before he met you, every single day. Don’t judge him. He was a horny teenager. But now that he has you, whenever he’s horny he just asks you to either suck him off or let him fuck you, which you always comply because you can’t resist. Only jerks off when there’s no possible way for you both to get together.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Choking, overstimulation and slight visual sensory deprivation. All giving though. In terms of receiving he has a very subtle pain kink. very subtle.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The bed. Again, this boy hates any sort of obstacle or interruption while he’s having his dirty time so he likes to take it to the bedroom. Even if it starts outside of the bedroom, he’ll always find a way to get there. But for the few instances that he’s too riled up to make it to the bed, he doesn’t mind fucking you senseless right then and there. You guys do it in the kitchen occasionally though, mostly when you’re sure that it's just you two.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You wearing revealing clothes. Its dumb and immature, he knows. But whenever you’re showing a bit too much skin or your dress rides up, something like that, Jeno can’t seem to hold it in. Also when you both are arguing. Jeno just thinks you look really hot when you’re mad because you get really bitchy, different from your usual self and it riles him up. He can’t help put pin you to the wall and set you straight.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Spanking, exhibitionism, voyeurism, and anything that has to do with inflicting pain on you. Jeno’s is very uncomfortable with people watching him have sex or do anything sexually pleasing to him. That’s why he makes your sex life very private. Also he’s just very scared to hurt you so chocking is farthest he’d go. Nothing beyond that.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Loves fingering you. Prefers it over eating you out because he gets to see your face screw up in pleasure. When he’s eating you out all he can see is the rise and fall of your chest, that why he isn’t so keen on doing it, but he will if you want him to. Isn’t too big on receiving because he’s just so fixed on pleasing you. But he doesn’t mind when you ask to give him head. Just not all the time or only when he can’t fuck you and he’s in the mood.

P = Pace (How fast do they go)

Pretty fast but likes to go more hard than quick. That’s why he likes ‘pounding’ into you. Is very rough with it, almost animalistic. It doesn’t matter if you start out nice and slow with a fluffy mood because he always gets fed up with the lack of pleasure and ends up slamming into you. Whenever he’s fucking you it feels like he’s always trying to chase both your highs but you don’t mind because you enjoy the roughness more than you’ll admit.

Q = Quickie (Do they prefer proper sex over quickies and how often does it happen)

Not that rare actually. Sometimes Jeno will just be in the mood but too lazy to fuck properly so he’ll pull you to the side, pull your pants down and fuck you till he came. Don’t worry, he never lets you hanging. In case you don’t cum before he does, he’ll always finger you till you finish. Of course he prefers proper sex but some days he’s just way too horny to do it all.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Unless you want to try something, Jeno isn’t that outgoing in bed. He knows what you like and don’t like as well as what your limits are and he’d only ever push around the borders.You once told Jeno you wanted him to fuck you in the shower and he did but it never happened again because he hated the way his top priority had to be preventing you from slipping instead of making you cum.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Has a life long supply of stamina and can usually go two rounds without feeling overly sensitive. But he’ll usually only go as long as you can manage to go since he doesn’t think there’s a point in going on with you half dead. Lasts a pretty long time as well. Even if he starts before you he usually cuts after you or with you.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own any toys. I mean, why should he when he has you? Finds toys awkward and just can’t see himself using them. He knows that you own a vibrator though and he knows you use it sometimes but he’d never use it while you both are having sex.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

It depends from time to time. Somedays it’s more than the other. Mostly teases you when you’re the one to initiate the sex. Likes it when you beg for him to touch you and fuck you so he’ll only rile you up till you’re on breaking point before giving in to your pleads. Teases you a lot verbally while he’s fucking you. “Do you want me to go slower. I think you’re really liking it slow. No? Faster? Sorry but you’re gonna have to beg for it.” Things like that.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Raspy grunts and low groans when he’s close otherwise he’s silent. Since he spends most of his time dirty talking, teasing you and getting reactions out of you, he chooses not to be too loud. It’s not that he finds his moans embarrassing or anything. He’ll occasionally let one out while your riding him or giving him head to let you know that you’re doing good. Hot is the only way to describe his moans.

W = Wild Card (something random)

One day you woke up super early cause Jeno’s morning wood was poking your thigh and so you sucked him off and rode him. Ever since then Jeno’s aways wanted to fuck you in your sleep but the problem is that you’re a very light sleeper.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

His dick isn’t be big or thick, but more or so on the long side. Like Jeno’s body isn’t really that bulky, its more slender and sculpted and so his dick would also kinda be the same. Has some nice views running through it though.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s decreased over the years but it’s still pretty up there. Jeno gets horny pretty quick by the most basic things. You guys fuck probably every two to three days or so. Just a lot of sex.

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

You guys don’t always fuck in the night so sex generally doesn’t tire him out as much as it tires you out. (Probably because he’s not the one getting fucked dumb.) But he’ll usually fall asleep after you do, a good 15 to 30 minutes after you’ve fucked.

#asks #answered #requested #nct #nct smut #nct dream #nct dream smut #jeno #jeno smut

[pochapal]

I hate doctor 11 but ive never been able to explain why in like words lmao. He feels like such a mary sue character imo and like theres something about his characterisation that was always just really ineffective (like the stuff about fishfingers and custard or whatever it was). Imo i'd love to hear you give top 5 worst things about the 11 era because i rlly just love when it gets torn apart

i hold nothing but a seething contempt and loathing for that man. every time he appeared on screen i felt ready to snap like a riled up chimpanzee in my enclosure. i am frothing at the mouth and overcome with a desire to start flinging heavy objects. this might be incoherent and inconsistent but i started this rewatch in feb 2020 and only finished this week so i got through 11′s episodes last august/september time and i refuse to revisit it to jog my memory or fact check anything i’m saying here because this man does not deserve the space in my mind for that.

the first thing is i can’t fucking STAND the quirky whimsy timey wimey bit he has going on all of the time. i can’t even say this is because this is a kids show and i was a teen and then adult when i first properly watched him but actually!! when i was eleven years old i’d sleep over at a friend’s house most weekends and it always coincided with the airing of a new season 5 episode and i remember we watched the finale with the dumb time hopping to get out of the box prison that was never explained and didn’t make sense and i thought at the time “this is really stupid”. and before that my only other doctor who exposure was watching the david tennant christmas specials with another friend and throughout childhood my only opinion on doctor who was “this is a tv show that is not for me but is one that all the boys i am friends with like so i will put up with it to maintain our friendships” but at least those episodes were both suspenseful and engaging enough to keep me watching all the way through. like who the fuck does an end of the world sci fi plot and approaches it with an “oopsy woopsy i am a funny little alien man who is going to stop you all by making you do a hecking silly” like it’s unneeded and self-parodies an already cheesy show to the point where it becomes unwatchable and makes it impossible to ever take this man seriously.

next thing that downright sucks ass so badly is the stupid fucking overwritten constantly escalating plotlines. like everything from season 5 up until his regeneration at the end of season 7 is meant to be this grand interconnected cosmic plot about how...the doctor trying to bring back his planet will end the universe or something so all the top powers across all of reality tried again and again to stop him from doing that except he doesn’t know what’s going on so he keeps thwarting these people who supposedly mean good?? i mean i sure don’t fucking know what they were trying to say!! like for some reason we never get the doctor suddenly becomes this superdemon that threatens everything so these people (whoever they are) decide to, in sequence: suck him through a time rift to erase him from existence, trap him in a prison and remake a universe without him, take his companion’s baby and turn her into a perfectly trained doctor killer, form two(!!) secret societies to hunt him throughout history that are only stopped by his companion splintering herself across his personal timeline to protect him, and repeatedly cause reality collapsing events because it’s a kinder outcome for the universe than what he will do. this grand and terrible event turns out to be...he spends a few hundred years chilling by a rift that leads to his home planet and protects a few generations of children from monsters which convinces them to give him infinite regeneration power then fuck off back to their pocket universe. and it’s like!! what is the point of anything that happens in this man’s era when everything is always “the darkest moment” or whatever the fuck!! i don’t care!! we never get a compelling reason to believe this bumbling clown of a man could ever be a universal threat!! the whole thing is so dumb i hate it!!!

thing number three i hate is how the eleventh doctor is ALSO characterised as this abrasive egotistic male supergenius to the point where he becomes genuinely indistinguishable from bbc sherlock. genuinely who enjoyed seeing this guy constantly tell people their tiny human minds can’t comprehend what he’s doing and then basically just wave his magic wand to solve whatever problem each episode is facing. 2012 is the year of human sin because this fucking shitsmear character archetype somehow became both a redditor role model AND a tumblr sexyman and it’s like!! nobody is enjoying this stop making this seem cool! him saying timey wimey thing any time he does anything is frustrating and dumb and locks the viewer out of giving a fuck about anything that is happening! smartest man in the room syndrome is a disease and the eleventh doctor is terminal with it. like remember how they established river as an accomplished scientist (when she wasn’t being a child soldier or a time paradox or whatever the fuck) and every time that came up mr doctor eleven man was like “oh this thing is obvious because i’m a genius and you didn’t realise because your brain is tiny so get out of the way and let the grownups think” or that time it turned out amy had been replaced with a slime clone for half the season and the doctor chewed rory (audience surrogate) out for somehow not realising this fact we didn’t know right from the start and like. this served no purpose other than to draw into severe question why the doctor is also this super beloved magical figure implicitly trusted by all children everywhere like. mr steven moffat is totally allergic to writing and solving mysteries in his tv show and fuck you for wanting to figure things out as you go along based on the new evidence you uncover at strategic plot intervals just let this asshole man use magical thinking to reveal he knew the answer all along and you’re a fucking idiot for not also realising this thing which had no basis or precedent anywhere else in the show.

speaking of dumb things let us not forget the absolute shitshow that was minority representation in this era. i’m not even talking about the low hanging fruit of how genuinely unironically sexist amy and clara were written where each episode moffat either seemed to loathe them or was incredibly horny over them and they had no character growth or arc or fucking anything. i’m talking about how fucking shit terrible the incidental representation was. god remember how every single fucking gay person who appeared in this era was written as one incredibly fucking stupid joke and how the women were all either sexy dominatrix, feeble girl in love, or Mother (or all three in some really terrible cases) and i’m not qualified to talk about this but also how incredibly white this era was and how on two separate occasions we had monarchs reimagined as sexy girlbosses with a gun played by black women who the doctor leched over. nothing about any of this was good ESPECIALLY coming off the back of rtd who was surprisingly forward thinking for 2005 and did a really good job of positing travel with the doctor as queer allegory. in comparison moffat gave us THE MOST heterosexual shlock i’ve ever had to endure. amy and rory could have been interesting characters were they not hemmed into this domestic bickering young straight married couple bullshit that was in no way changed or altered by traveling with the doctor except for the quasi incestuous river song reveal that was dumb and bad and stupid.

the last major mega gripe i have with the series is moffat’s fucking jingoistic boner for british military aesthetics. this carried over throughout his entire tenure as showrunner but was super terrible vomit inducing in eleven’s era. the unironic admiration for ww2 britain and winston churchill is downright wretched. are you incapable of telling a second world war story outside of churchill’s london and plucky blitz fighters. shit gives me hives so badly. and then!!! that weird church owned army that features in the future that end up being bad not for the concept of what basically amounts to an imperialistic intergalactic rendition of the fucking crusades but because they’re part of the nonsense go nowhere puzzlebox narrative that says the doctor is a not good man who will do bad things to the universe :(. remember how rtd’s doctor was a freshly traumatised man hot off the war criminal press who time and time again vehemently refuses to engage in military violence, but who tragically inadvertently turns every one of his companions into soldiers in his own personal army, and he has this moment of complete horror at the realisation and it is this which causes the downward spiral that ends in 10′s regeneration. and then how there’s this cringe line about how there’s a force of people who are “the doctor’s army, always ready to fight his battles when he’s not around” or some shit and then it turns out this is actually massive literal military operation and we’re meant to celebrate this. fuck off.

bonus round because this needs to be said but i have never hated anything like i hated that fucking human tardis episode. everything about it induced violent anger in me from the sickening overindulgence of that softgoth dark whimsy helena bonham carter tim burton aesthetic to the bafflingly terrible evil carny stereotype of those junk scavengers to the overblown sudden tragic shipbait romance of human tardis and the doctor. every word out of her mouth was trite shit and the fact that the death of her body was presented as this super emotional dramatic scene despite there being no buy in or incentive to care and the fact that every single person on tumblr in 2012 ate that shit up like it was fucking gourmet. i loathe every single thing about that episode so much.

#Anonymous #hi bestie here's 1500 words of me getting mad about the worst television experience i had in my life #why the FUCK was this man tumblr's favourite back in the day. what the fuck did anyone see in any of this shit #i never want to think about dr whom ever again

[evandearest]

The Garden of Eden Explanation

Series Masterlist: The Garden of Eden Series

Warning: Read After Part Two: Reflection!! SPOILERS AHEAD.

Hey guys, it’s Emilie (@evandearest)! So I’ve just decided to pop in here and make a post about my current James March x reader series, The Garden of Eden. This is just something that I’ve decided to do just to clear things up, both for any readers and for myself <3.

This series was requested by @etoile-writings , who is now one of my good friends here on tumblr :). This post will contain spoilers, so if you haven’t read part one and two I suggest you do! After I finish writing the entire series, I will do a separate review post to explain the symbolism and references in depth with the entire story. This post will just contain an explanation for the concepts and symbolism in the events so far.

JUXTAPOSITION:

The original request was juxtaposition, which is basically just an idea: the fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect. It’s just simply a comparison - a contrast between two objects. In this story’s case, the two things are the reader and James. The contrast is revealed as the story goes, but it’s basically the fact that the reader constantly looks at everything in a religious view, while James is completely against religion, as we’ve seen in the show. This will get more prevalent in part three, which at this point in time is still being wrote.

READER’S DARKNESS:

As the story goes on, this will be revealed further, but there has already been multiple instances in which the reader has seemed passive towards violence/physical hurting, the seriousness of the situation seeming to go over her head; no empathy shown. This occurred in two instances: when James killed her husband, and when the man in the hotel was in pain. As I said, this will be explored further, but is to be kept in mind, as it ties in with the juxtaposition concept.

WHITE ROSES:

Now let’s talk about the flowers, which were included as part of the request as well. They mainly tied into the whole “Garden of Eden” biblical concept, which we will get into next. I specifically chose white roses as the flower of interest because of their symbolism:

“ White roses often represent purity, innocence, and youthfulness. White roses are sometimes referred to as bridal roses because of their association with young love and eternal loyalty. White roses can also symbolize a new beginning and everlasting love. ”

In part two, you find out the origin of James’ and the reader’s love; how it all started in the garden, with the roses. However, the roses are very prevalent throughout the entire story, as well as what the owner of the garden said about them:  “if you kill the rose, the rose no longer profits you.” (keep that in mind) 

They are what is known as a motif of literature.

The first and simplest symbolic thing about them is the fact that they are the readers favorite flower, which is explained in the flashback in part two. Since they symbolize purity and innocence, it’s only right for them to be the reader’s favorite flower, as she is the same symbolic representation.

So far, they have briefly appeared in part one when James arrives at the reader’s house, and then again throughout most of part two.

To recall to part one:

“ Before you knew it, the man you had dreamed of for so many years was standing before you. You gasped as your eyes met his, the same dark brown framed by his sharp masculine features. It was as if you had seen the sun after years in the dark. Your eyes took in his features before shifting to look at the object in his hands. A bouquet of white roses lay clasped between his hands; your flowers. He had remembered. He really had come back for you. Finally, you had your James again. “

Since white roses symbolize a new beginning and everlasting love, I thought it important and fitting to include them as a symbol of just that. James and reader have always loved one another; everlasting love. James has come back for reader and they are starting their relationship again; a new beginning. The new beginning symbolism also applies to when the reader and James first met, or began.

BIBLICAL REFERENCE:

Now here’s where ideas collide a little bit. The Garden of Eden idea intertwines both of the previous topics into one another. First I want to establish what the real Garden of Eden story from the Bible is for anyone who doesn’t know. (Disclaimer: There are many many many interpretations of this story, and I just tried to find the simplest one.)

The Garden of Eden was essentially paradise. God placed an innocent Adam and Eve in the garden and tells them that they can eat freely from all of the trees in the garden, except of a tree of the knowledge of good and evil. When they are coerced by snakes of evil and eat the fruit, they gain the knowledge, and God banishes them from the garden as punishment for disobeying him. They were both sent down to Earth as God’s representatives. In some interpretations, Earth is often thought to be hell. So in a way, they were sent to hell.

That being said, here is how that fits into the story. James and reader meet in a white rose garden when they are young, which implements both the roses as a symbol of youthfulness and the innocence that is said to come with that, as well as a comparison between James & reader and Adam & Eve. When James and reader get older and gain more knowledge, they are forced apart, are no longer together in love, and their paradise is lost. This compares to Adam and Eve’s banishment to hell, when their paradise was lost. So in a biblical way, James and reader have been forced apart (losing paradise) to live in hell (which is just living without one another) as a punishment or consequence for gaining knowledge, or getting older. (Read that a few times to process it lmao)

As a side note, reader’s mother had also warned her of this. In the flashback, reader recalls her mothers words, “One day when all the distractions of young age are gone, you’ll realize why you need to be prepared.” You can assume that she had known that reader would be married off by her father, signifying that the same thing happened to her (it was common in the time), which ties into the “cycle of life“ concept (more about that down below). This is also basically saying that when you get older and become no longer oblivious (gain knowledge), you won’t live life the same carefree way. You loose your inner child. Reader’s mother was just trying to prepare her for that.

GOD CONCEPT:

Now we get to the reader and James’ new beginning, where all James wants is to recreate that paradise for the reader. The reader in turn views James as a God because of multiple reasons: he saved and freed her from hell, returned to her, he’s always been the one she can rely on and always loved (chose) her, made her feel like she was invincible when by his side, and also the fact that he went from being a poor boy to a rich man and built an empire (the hotel) on it.

And from here I’d like to talk about just a few more things; first being the last little bit of part two. I just feel like I need to explain the meaning of that part’s ending in conclusion to everything, to wrap everything up.

To recall once again:

“ You smiled once more at his words, thinking back to that day in the garden once more, and to your mother’s words. The feeling you had now was a reflection of the feeling you had then. He’d always made you feel so incredibly self-assured. You felt like no matter what happened to you and James, nothing could break you at this point and time. And your mother had been right: gaining the knowledge was important.

Now that you’d ate the fruit of the garden and survived hell, what could possibly stop you?

You felt invincible, so long as he was by your side. You no longer feared the past or the future; you were completely centered present, all cycles broken. And it had took James less than a day to make you feel this way. Your excitement soared as you thought about your future with James. You knew that so long as you had him, you were unstoppable together. You were gods.

You didn’t need the garden, after all. Paradise lost stood no match to you, because with James, you could survive anything. “

I’m going to specifically talk about the bold parts. Okay, so “eating the fruit of the garden” means gaining knowledge, as we’ve discussed, and for James and reader that represents their separation when they got older. So it’s basically saying that now that the reader and James have survived everything (from being separated to surviving without one another {hell} to then finding their way back to each other), what else could they possibly face that would break them?  And the last line is similar: the reader realizes that they have survived so much already, and feels that they can take anything. They don’t need to “go back” to anywhere; they can survive in any circumstance; they do not need the garden or paradise.

More about the god concept: since the reader views James as a god, and then feels invincible by his side, she feels as if they are now gods together.

CYCLE OF LIFE:

The cycle of life idea was not apart of the request, but upon approaching part one, I just kind of threw it in, as it added to the story quite a lot. The cycle of life ties straight into the whole reflection part of the story, with the reader having flashbacks to the past events that seemed to almost mirror the current events. This happens mainly in the two situations in which it was pointed out: when the reader was being abused by James father in the past and her husband in the present, and the feeling the reader had when she first met James being the same as she feels for him now in this new beginning. It’s a repetition. In the beginning of part one, it also begs the question: do the lessons we’re really meant to learn in life recur without us noticing?

END NOTES:

And that’s it! I hope that cleared some things up if you were confused! Let me know any questions you may have and I will certainly reply as quick as I can! I’m so unbelievably excited to finish part three! Thanks so much to everyone for the support <3. Happy Holidays if you celebrate! Sending love to all~ xoxo

#the garden of eden series #james march #james imagine #james x reader #james march imagine #james march x reader #james march smut #james patrick march #james patrick march imagine #evan peters imagine #Evan Peters #evan peters x reader #ahs #ahs imagine #american horror story #american horror story hotel #american horror story imagine #ahs hotel #hotel

[facelessxchurch]

What we’re your thoughts about the book?

Some asks were answered already in this post already so I just smacked those asks in here at the part where I talk about the topic in question, which is why the answer may not 100% fit the question.

Massive “Seasons of War” spoilers below the cut:

First off, of all, this book read like GoT/any zombie movie ever. With the necromancers being like the white walkers, Vile is the night king and daugar are the wights. even with the necromancers crumbling away after Vile got killed Tell me I’m not the only one seeing that.

I think there was a lot of fanservice and some confirmed headcanons in the book, which I really liked. Saracen magic got revealed, there was a return to the Leibniz dimension, the Vile vs Vile fight so many wanted finally happened (tho that was kinda underwhelming) and the Dead Men returned which I’m sure made a lot of people happy. 

Ravel poisoning Saracen during the war and Vile being so powerful bc of being dead were two popular headcanons that got confirmed. And I am personally so happy that this book killed the ‘there is no sarcasm in the Leibniz dimension’ headcanon bc I bloody hated that.

Finally, Landy tries to please the old fans instead instead of what feels like purposefully pissing them off. I guess the phase 2 book sales weren’t that great so far (nice try blaming it on the pandemic, but no). 

I’m also glad that the romance in this book was kept to a minimum bc The Val/Militsa kiss in the beginning, yikes, fanfiction has better written kisses than that. And the the dialog for the lesbian love triangle (bc for some reason Ms.Wicked aka Laura’s self insert is Militsa’s ex??) was cringy and stiff as hell, it felt more like first graders trying to do a dramatic play and not natural at all.

Surprisingly enough Mevolent’s and Serafina’s relationship seems to be the most healthy and romantic in the entire series and I have no idea if that was on purpose or if Landy just has twisted views on relationships.

I however am actually kinda happy with how Mev was written. He was sympathetic and charismatic, tho some of the stuff he did doesn’t fit to they way he’s characterised when he’s on screen (I know he is probably lying 90% of the time he speaks, but still). Like, banning all languages apart from English doesn’t seem like something a man who cares about culture, literature and art would do. It also seems kinda stupid bc those languages will be forgotten eventually and if they need an old text translated no one will be able to do it. Also, why English? Isn’t Mev old enough that his first/original language should be Gaelic? So weird. I have the feeling this was mainly done so Valkyrie (and with that the audience) can understand what the people on the continent are saying bc I very much doubt she understands/speaks any languages apart from English. 

But I loved that Mev was also shown as insanely smart. He managed to outsmart Val multiple times. And I love how he doesn’t need his magic to fight, how quick and agil and skilled he is. So I take it that his fighting style is more based on agility and not getting hit, and he uses brute force only when forced into it (by Darquesse/the Unnamed). I was wondering about that bc his armor is made of leather and chainmail instead of metal plates which is considered light armor and not something a tank type of fighter would wear.

What really rubbed me the wrong way tho was when he was talking Tanith and Skul and more or less stated the war wasn’t a challenge anymore ever since Skul died. Or when he was talking to Val being like ‘you’re more powerful than I could ever hope to be’.It bothers me even more knowing that Val is based on girlfriend!Laura. Does really everyone and everything in-vers, even a big bad like Mev, rub Skul’s/Landy’s and Val’s/Laura’s ego? Big yikes.

Crespular Vies is surprisingly fun. At first I thought the two men going after the Obsidian Blade were hired by the Unnamed, but since that wasn’t the case, I think Crespular Vines hired them that so he could show up in time to save Omen and his friends. I think him opening up to Omen about being Skul’s former partner came too unprompted, too quickly and that he is trying to gain Omen’s trust so he can get close to Skul through him. I think another giveaway that that’s the case is bc one of the men Omen had to meet to get his brother back wore a Cleaver outfit and Vies gave that man probably the same reasoning Omen gave him.

That said Omen’s chapters were surprisingly enjoyable. By what I had heard of others I expected a sad sack that can’t fight worth a damn. 

I’m not found of the Temper/Kierre stuff, it came out of nowhere.

Val is overpowered AF, it seems that she can get on Darquesses level with more practise/learning how to keep the doors open. She certainly needs to be nerfed.

Also I skipped the Darquesse chapters bc I’m giving negative fucks about her and the plague doctor.

The last 10% of the book were too rushed and felt like half finished thoughts.

Also I was kinda really bothered by the citizen of the Leibniz dimension. They were cartoonishly racist and it was very pretty black and white for the most part AKA everybody good is in the Resistance and all other sorcerers are evil/corrupt. That is also shown by there being children in the Resistance camp while there was no mention of children in the mage cities. In reality, most people are fairly mellow and it’s just a small percentage that is either really good or really wicked. I would have liked to see more racism towards mortals in form of apathy or ‘the soft bigotry of low expectations’ like I’ve seen it from Serpine in DotL. You know, make it a little less black and white.

Also, I understand the mermaids, but the bats in Europe were random AF. Like, I would understand it if they were just in Romania/Transylvania as a nod to the Dracula-typ vampire legends originating from there. As a plot-device they weren’t really needed to keep the protagonists from flying bc the danger of getting spotted by necromancer by doing so should be enough of a threat to keep them on the ground. This might seem nit-picky of me, but the bats just seemed so bloody random to me like wtf????

And also bc I’m a slut for magical creatures, I would have really liked to see more of them than just daugar and giant bats. Some undead cut together and resurrected necromancer experiments would have been pretty cool tbh. Like whatever the hell this is.

Something like zombie bears would have also been acceptable, I mean, bears are fucking terrifying on their own, let alone when undead and decaying.

I’m kinda pissed at China that she wanted Skul to kill Nef, but it does seem in character. Of course I still don’t like it bc I headcanon as Nef, Eliza and China having been besties during the war (no matter what canon says, I’m keeping that headcanon). I’m surprised Skul didn’t let Wreath have Nef considering that. Then again, he thought Nef might still be useful. And he was right. I loved how Nef actually had an essential part in saving the world by throwing the bomb. So proud of my boi <3 But Skul refused to kill him even after that. Could it be that Skul is finally getting character growth and development? 👀

Aaaand, China’s continuing to be a tyrant. With Tanith’s sense of justices flaring up shown when he killed the city governor, Erato, and Nef being shown to go after people that betray him (Lorien) I think those two are being set up to go after China to kill her (and to probably kill Creed too). Imagine Eliza joining the team bc she want a piece of China too.

I feel sorry for Baron, but at least he got a few speaking lines this time around. Still, I really wanted Nef to save him. :C Like, he suffered so much before he died too considering he spend a year alone starving and thirsty with broken legs in the middle of nowhere wft, why is Baron getting fucked over like this? #BaronDeservedBetter2020 he is the only honorable person of all faceless followers and he’s the one that gets screwed over in every book he shows up in, why tho- 😭

Speaking of Nef, I absolutely loved him in this book, he was a delight and stealing the show whenever he was on the page, despite being used as  punching bag through pretty much the entire book. If people have always treated him that way I can see why he turned evil jfc that poor man. Despite that, he was still being such a clever, funny and relatable bae <3 He’s described as ‘cynical, and nasty but also kinda cheerful’ and as liking to ‘needle’ people (aka trolling and roasting) by Val and that essentially describes every shitposter on the internet ever. And I so loved the way he roasted Saracen lmao

And how he’s so clever, like the Lorien part was my favourite scene closely followed by how Nef essentially talked Remus Crux into getting himself killed, just 👌 smart snek boi, I love him <3 Also I hope he keeps poisoning everybody thoughts against Skul like how he had already been doing it to Tanith, he’s poison in human form and that’s just my jam.

That obedience bracelet was kinda fucked up tho.

Why does this thing even exist? Aren't electro shocks or any other form of pain enough instead of shutting his nervous system down/rendering him completely defenceless? I feel like some messed up mage 100% used it to keep himself (sex) slaves at some point in time :/ Landy might have gotten that idea from some fucked up hentai. Even the implications of the name "obedience bracelet".... I can’t be the only one that got creepy perv vibes from that thing, right?

Btw what the fuck happened to Harmony? You know, Leibniz Serpine’s girlfriend. She hasn’t been mentioned again. Did she die? She didn’t seem too found of him in DotL, was she plotting against him and he found out about it, killed her and fled the Resistance? Or did she die prior to him leaving and it was part of the reason he left bc she was the only thing that had tied him emotionally to the Resistance?? Or Landy just forgot  she existed. I would not be surprised.

Of course my biggest issue with this book was how he retconned Nef’s magic and how he took his trademark, his red hand, away, but more about that in a different post.

TL;DR: Nef was a delight even though he was done dirty. Mev’s scenes were a 50/50 split between good and bad. I actually liked the Crespulare and Omen chapters. The Unnamed was a disappointment. The last 10% of the book were to rushed and the final fights that were supposed to be the biggest were underwhelming. The rest is meh, didn’t really care tbh. Let’s be real here, I only bought this book bc Nef played a bigger role in it, anyways.

#skulduggery pleasant #seasons of war #seasons of war spoilers #review #book review #I hate 'read more' #but this got so bloody long #RIP mobile users #long post #Anonymous #answered

[whatelsecanwedonow]

“Radical empathy”. I like it—I think. If I’m understanding what you mean by just those two words lol... I’m just over/about half way in (though I do know some details of what happens in the back half). Im very curious of your thoughts. Maybe you could answer in broad strokes before the cut then free for all spoilers... and pls tag so that I can come back to it!) I gotta finish, but rn I’m building up to facing the “rat king” or w/e bc I am a massive baby and am v scared lol.

Thank you for asking!! I’ll tag this for you and put it all under a cut, just in case:

Good luck with the rat king, lmao. Nasty ass motherfucker. But the game itself, my thoughts are that it’s built game ever. Every mechanic, every movement, every control interface feels so smooth. It’s all fluid and instinctual. You can feel the detail to creation in everything. My favorite thing may be the sound design, though... the score, the ambient sounds, the sound of gore, the way that different environments feel so naturally different... everything is so real. It’s mastery. I’m already thinking about what this game is going to look like on the PS5 remaster.

As for story, yes, radical empathy!! Not my original idea but it absolutely is what this is all about. This is the darkest, most emotionally distressing... media/art experience? Ever? Surely for me and perhaps objectively, for most people. This game is unrelentingly harsh. It’s physically taxing. It’s extraordinary deep and the detail at every single level is absurd. It feels so natural in the way you inhabit it and live within the world as these people that the line between observing and participating in something is so blurred... obviously that’s the trick of a video game of this caliber, but you feel truly as if you’re an active participant with agency to make decisions in TLOU2, instead of being limited to observing what is to come. The first game did this well, but this game takes it to levels that, again, blur that line so much... I think that’s storytelling taken to a new and profound level.

And there’s all that depth and darkness meant to take you on a journey that in the end, I think. is meant to communicate not just the futility of violence, the sickening reality of the cycle of violence and how it can consume anyone. It’s saying that the best thing we can do, the bravest thing we can do, is care enough to forgive those who have wronged us most. At least, see them as people, see them as people who are equal to you. In every person is a universe, and all people have their own motivations, their own pain, their own trauma. And if you acknowledge that and overcome violent impulses that’s a radical act of empathy that can save so many people. Not the least of whom is the person who may have right to vengeance.

I’ll get more specific here: I think a lot of people are upset that Joel was killed so early on. I think they’re upset that we played so much of the game as Abby (Who I don’t love by the end, but I understand, and care about and like well enough). And it also seems they’re upset that Ellie didn’t bash Abby’s head in, or choke her out in the ocean. Well if you can’t get over that Ellie didn’t murder Abby I don’t think you get ANYTHING this game is trying to do. Killing Abby would destroy Ellie, probably forever. Murdering all of Abby’s friends already took her to the fucking brink. I think Ellie’s villainous actions in Seattle are very much akin to what we never saw Joel do, in the 20 years between Sarah’s death and Boston. She’s been broken. She was broken before going after Abby in Santa Barbara. If she had killed Abby and left Lev to fend for himself and possibly die alone, do you think she’d ever again be able to look who she’d become? She would see herself as being just as evil as Abby was to her. As evil as Joel was before learning to love Ellie. And it’s the thought of Joel, the changed man, the man who changed for and because of her that compels her to take her heroic stand. To spare Abby and refuse to go down the same road and perpetuate the cycle of violent loss.

And I hope it doesn’t seem that I’m taking Joel’s death lightly with those thoughts, I loved Joel. Watching Abby brutalize him and literally beat his brains in was stomach-turning. I identified with him so much not just because he’s a dumbass but because he loves Ellie like I love Ellie as a character. He sees that Ellie is a spectacular, hilarious, wonderful person who has known almost nothing but pain and hurt in their awful world. All he wants is to give her a chance at a world of happiness. And in protecting her and caring for her, in trying to create the opportunity for that happiness to grow, he can find redemption that he thought would never come again after losing Sarah. "If somehow the Lord gave me a second chance at that moment...I would do it all over again." That fucking broke me to pieces. Even though I think Joel and Abby’s father are both guilty of taking Ellie’s agency as a person away from her - why did it never occur to either of them to ask the girl at the center of this procedure whether she thought she should die? She was 14, so it’s arguable that she would have understood the gravity of her decision, despite the guilt of what happened with Riley...  but Joel at least did what he did from a traumatized, if selfishly-born, place unconditional love. And the reveal that Ellie knew since two years prior to the main story, I think it proves that she was at least beginning to understand his motivation. As conflicted as she was, as much as it hurt that he lied, she loved him too.

I’ve read thoughts from a few people who have interpreted this the same way that I did, and this is just interpretation... clearly the game is completely ambiguous with the ending. Ellie is, literally, all alone in the world as she leaves the farm. She could be heading off to wander aimlessly as some sort of TLOU Mad Max/Road Warrior. But that would break my heart, lol, I don’t think I can accept that. She’s learned something profound in sparing Abby. I don’t think I can ever accept that she’s just going to drift as an empty shell of what she used to be forever. I think she wants to honor Joel by attempting to live the life both of them wanted to have: one of purpose and meaning, but also lasting happiness and love.

So I find hope in that the game begins and ends on that animation of the moths. At the start of the game it represents Ellie being draw into the fire, into the futile flames of vengeance and revenge. At the end the moths represent her being drawn towards the light - she’s been freed and has made peace with herself and Joel, and is leaving the farm to embrace the goodness inside her and honor the lessons she’s learned. The same growth Joel found by loving Ellie. The same growth Abby found in sparing Ellie and Dina, which is no small parallel to Ellie/Joel in the way that it was Lev that saved Abby from falling into a spiral of violence that she may never have broken free of again.

Ellie’s will always be traumatized, but she’s so much wiser. Two fingers lighter but so much wiser. And now she’s off to Jackson to hope that Dina can find the strength to forgive her. And Dina definitely went back there, by the way, she wasn’t about to try and survive on that farm by herself with JJ. Jesse’s family said she was always welcome, if you read Ellie’s journal you’ll see that was said. So I think, with time, they can work through the pain. It’ll take some unbelievable forgiveness on Dina’s part but Dina is emotionally strong and incredibly empathic. Did you notice the one thing Dina took from Ellie’s art room? She took the portrait that Ellie created of her. She didn’t let go, not entirely. And now I’m going to choose to believe that Ellie won’t ever again, either.

And she’s going to learn to play guitar pseudo-lefty with a pick and tear shit up again. 👌

#The Last of Us Part II #tlou spoilers #tlou2 spoilers #tlou 2 spoilers #i intended to control myself and then... i didn't #Anonymous

[lokidiabolus]

Actors

Fandom: The Maze Runner

Pairing: Newtmas

(Jonipony:  So this idea just came to me out of thin air, Thomas and Newt are actors who don't get along well together, but they have to do a love scene together for their characters and end up falling in love in real life. I was thinking maybe they forced themselves to spend time together in order to make their character's relationship seem more real and once they fall for the other person they can't tell if it's real or just their characters. And of course you can put your own twist or interpretation on it, you don't have to do just that. I think it could work for a longer fic or just a one shot depending on how you want to do it. Thank you so much for considering it!

Holy shit, I'm so sorry it took foreverrrr. I started writing it, then suddenly didn't know HOW to approach it, so I scrapped it, started again, scrapped it, wrote first 10 pages and stopped. Then returned to it after several months, wrote another set of pages, stopped. And now I FINALLY finished it, aaaaaaaaaa. Seriously, sorry it took ages lmao. Not even sure if it's what you've wanted, they seriously started to live their own life in there :'D)

Ao3 Version.

Maybe it would do you good if you spent a little more time together, off set.

In retrospect Thomas should have known it meant bad business, because as much as he liked his job and the series he was in, spending more time with Newt out of all people was not the best idea. Not that he could do anything about it – their producer and writer Jorge simply decided their characters needed to become less flat and also had the guts to say he was planning it all along, because representation. So Thomas’ until then completely straight character Stephen who liked parkour and Chinese food became miraculously captivated by a scientist Isaac, even though up until then they didn’t really have much screen time together.

When the morning read-through of the new episode revealed Jorge’s masterplan, Thomas didn’t know what to say or how to act. Him and Newt – they were like water and fire, and even though they didn’t clash loudly or made scenes, their civil behaviour had pretty low borders and they simply couldn’t be bothered to raise it. Up until today they didn’t even need to, because hey, one, two scenes per episode were only necessary evil and they usually didn’t even have the space to glare at each other much.

Thomas wasn’t sure how exactly it started – there wasn’t a girl they were both interested in involved, no role they both wanted and one of them got it, no pranks they played on each other that embarrassed them in public. There was nothing wrong with their interactions up until there was and Thomas couldn’t point a finger at it. The animosity was just there, sitting on the perch like a duck, ready to strike when they got into few meters wide vicinity of each other.

He didn’t know what exactly bothered him about that thin, blond nobody either. His appearance was pretty normal, maybe he just needed to gain a pound or two, and he had kind of unreal baby face, but apart from the lankiness and blond hair ruffled all the time, his looks were not that notable to irritate him. Neither did his British accent he usually concealed anyway or the way he talked to people. He just didn’t sit well with him, and quite frankly the antipathies were mutual and Newt wasn’t shy from showing him. So they kept their distances and interactions to minimum and everybody was happy.

Until Jorge fucked it up. And by fucking it up Thomas meant he started an apocalypse. Basically the series’ new couple was fancying each other because why the hell not, precisely after meeting in the university infirmary where Stephen ended after rather risky parkour manoeuvre that ended in few bruises, his friends who studied on the university thought it was a good idea to use the infirmary to patch him up, and then wild Isaac appeared, and his white coat and glasses apparently did it for Stephen.

As much as Thomas was concerned, he would say the plot was weak as morning coffee they had in cafeteria. But apparently where representation mattered, it was basically much better when no annoying drama got involved and it had a carefree flow, apart from the usual society problems Thomas kind expected to jump at them in the upcoming episodes somewhere.

“There are going to be snogging scenes.”

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard the exasperated voice, and then once more when Newt sat heavily next to him and the chair squeaked.

“I just asked Jorge,” the blond added with a deep sigh and Thomas mentally ticked it in his to do list. He knew there were conditions like stunts and possible romantic storyline with physical exposure when he signed the contract for the series, but he had no idea his partner would be a guy he couldn’t stand even on his good day. Was this Jorge’s version of the get-along shirt?  

“Amazing,” he commented and Newt hummed in agreement. Jorge recommended a solution for their antipathy – which naturally included more contact – but Thomas had a feeling it would only worsen their current relationship. So far he had no idea what Newt’s bad habits were because he never spent time with him, but if he added something seriously annoying to the already bothersome mix, murder would sound like a good solution.

“Let’s grab lunch together,” Newt stood up while glancing at his watch. “We can talk about it there.”

“Lunch,” Thomas repeated, because man, hearing that from Newt was seriously unreal. The blond looked at him with furrowed brows and took Thomas a second before he realized it was his way of saying: okay, we gotta work on our attitudes, so this is where it starts.

“Ye, you know. A place where they serve food for money,” Newt deadpanned. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the concept, at least from TV.”

“Just thinking if I want to ruin my day by spending it with you, is all,” Thomas shot back and it made Newt snort and shook his head.

“Great start, mop head,” he commented and started walking to the exit. “And they say I am defensive.”

Thomas wasn’t defensive, but maybe a little desperate.

***

“Look, I’m sure we both are professionals,” Thomas started when they finally found a free spot in a restaurant that led them to a secluded corner with small table and a candle in the middle. Thomas kind of thought this was on purpose, but he kept it to himself.

“Well, one of us definitely is,” Newt retorted without even looking at him, his eyes fixated onto a menu. Thomas wished he would order beer, so the waiter could tell him they are not serving alcohol to kids and he would have to give them his ID. “Your point?”

“We don’t need this torture,” Thomas decided not to snap at him for the time being. “It’s gonna be fine on set.”

That finally made Newt to glance at him.

“You think so?” he put down the menu and leaned a bit forward, his elbows on the desk. “So Jorge shouting at us because there is no chemistry whatsoever and it looks more like we want to kill each other, that’s fine by you?”

“He never said that,” Thomas disagreed stubbornly.

“He did,” Newt shrugged. “Sure, it was a year ago, but mate, I still feel like kicking your shin most of the time I see you, it kinda shows.”

“For you maybe-,”

“It shows for both of us,” Newt stopped him mid-sentence and sighed before getting back to the menu. “If you don’t believe me, ask the rest of the cast. Or the crew.”

Thomas didn’t need hear it from other sources to be able to tell Newt was right. The glares they occasionally sent to each other spoke volumes and he knew that, but he was almost sure it didn’t really show when they were on the set together, filming a scene. They were actors, it was their job to pretend to love people they didn’t fancy as much or at all, they were taking money for that kind of shit.

“So what’s your problem then?” he crossed his arms on his chest, looking at Newt expectantly. “Why am I on your shit list?”

“Why am I on yours?” Newt uttered lazily.

“I asked first.”

“It’s exactly this,” Newt finally stopped paying attention to the menu completely and closed it, then leaned back to the chair. “That thing you do all the time.”

“What thing?” Thomas raised an eyebrow and Newt gestured towards him with click of his tongue.

“That overbearing and unhealthy competitiveness,” the blond elaborated. “You hear an opinion and you immediately challenge it or you try to surpass it with me, me, me. Just talking to you about literally anything is a bloody waste of time because you’re unable to talk about anything else but you.”

Thomas blinked, then tilted his head to the side, and kept quiet. When nothing else from Newt came, he cleared his throat, just to be interrupted by a waiter asking for their orders and lighting up the candle between them with a weird smile.

Well, maybe not that weird, judging from where they were sitting. Thomas wondered what kind of bad karma was punishing him today, because he was slowly reaching his bullshit quota. Unhealthy competitiveness? Great! Maybe Newt could even make a whole psychological profile while at it!

“Don’t fry your brain, mop head,” Newt spoke up the moment the waiter left their table with orders. He reached for the candle and held his hand above the flame, changing heights like a kid that got a new toy. “I guess it’s just your thing. Rarely anybody acting like that realizes they are doing it. And if they do, they don’t care. Which is probably your case too.”

“Thanks, Dr. Freud,” Thomas forced out and pinched the bridge of his nose. The sole image of him having to pretend to be in love with this jerkface was making his blood boil. “I guess my reason is just that you’re such an insufferable brat I simply can’t stand you.”

“Well, it’s a start,” Newt uttered back and crossed his arms on his chest. “I propose to spend time together between sets, to go through the lines. If we won’t kill each other, I’m sure there is still hope for us to be able to survive the filming.”

“I refuse,” Thomas shot back without hesitation and it made Newt to bark out a laugh. “What.”

“Nothing, nothing,” the blond waved his hand, but kept on smiling and Thomas’ frown deepened. “It’s just that you’re such a kid all the time, it’s bloody hilarious.”

“If this is supposed to help me not to hate you, then you’re doing a very bad job,” Thomas warned him and then the waiter was back with their food, to which Thomas completely lost his appetite. Newt was still grinning at him like he won some sort of competition, and if it had been a race of who will get pissy first, Thomas had to admit he did lose.

“Hate is such a strong word though,” Newt commented with apparent amusement and pulled the plate with his lunch closer to him. “You shouldn’t use it so deliberately. What if there would be somebody you’d hate even more?”

“I don’t think it’s possible at this moment,” Thomas gritted through his teeth and it finally made Newt to stop with the nit-picking and his face turned a little more serious again.

“Alright, sorry,” the blond gestured with his fork. “Not going to push you anymore. Was just wondering how much you can take.”

“Not much more than this, I assure you,” Thomas said gruffly and Newt still had the nerve to smirk at him.

“Are you not going to eat?” he pointed at Thomas’ plate and when Thomas made a face, he insolently stole a fry and ate it. Thomas was sure one of them was not going to survive the filming at the end of the season.

***

“Can you stop glaring at me?”

Thomas groaned and put down the script with a loud bang against the table. Newt was in front of him, in his stupid oversized sweater and crazy hair and Thomas was literally on edge.

“Does it matter? It’s just a script reading,” he growled at him and heard Minho next to him laugh. Jorge on the other side of the table shook his head.

“Thomas, pull yourself together,” he said with a strict voice he usually reserved on sets when they kept on butchering the lines, and Thomas wanted to point at Newt and shout it’s all his fault! But he didn’t, because of course not, that would be childish and something Newt apparently wanted to provoke out of him. That little blond shit was taunting him from the first moment they sat down in the meeting room and he kept on smirking at him even when there were no lines they had together, and Thomas felt his blood pressure rising. Seriously, this couldn’t be healthy.

“Sorry,” he managed to bit out and looked back into the script where he was supposed to be flirting with Isaac, but it got out of him as a death sentence. Even he heard that, so naturally there was no denying it, and Newt just had to point it out in front of everybody.

“Minho, continue from the second paragraph,” Jorge commanded and the room grew quiet. Thomas wondered if he could fake a voice loss for a month or two, maybe it would help him get his shit together while avoiding his co-star like a plague.

***

“Oi, come here.”

Thomas almost did a pirouette when a hand stopped him from his march out of the building, and before he could properly react, he got dragged inside of the now empty meeting room by Newt. The cast was already gone and most of the crew as well, the studio was filled only by low hum from cameras not yet turned off.

“What now,” he sighed unhappily and the blond leaned against the table and crossed his arms on his chest.

“How did you get hurt?” he asked and Thomas stared at him like he lost his mind. Hurt? Him?

“What?”

“How. Did. You. Get. Hurt?”

Thomas opened his mouth to call him an idiot, but then it hit him. It was the line from the script. Newt’s character line from the dialogue the two of them had and kind of failed in the script reading this morning.

There was a small moment of him wanting to leave, because he was still bitter about the morning scene, but Newt was apparently trying to make amends and Thomas would be against himself if he just left without even giving it a chance.

He shook his head and reached for the door so he could close it while Newt watched him from his spot, and then took a deep breath.

“Tried to conquer the walls,” he finally responded with his line and it was easier without people staring at him, expecting to bite Newt’s head off. “They kind of won.”

“I can see that,” Newt continued, the exasperation easily believable. He pushed away from the table and took several cautious steps closer to Thomas, then lifted his chin and turned his head from one side to another.

Right, injuries from the fall. Isaac was supposed to check them and treat them.

“Huh, you have really long eyelashes,” he said then and Thomas blinked. That wasn’t in the script, he was sure of it.

“Are you improvising or is it just a statement?” he broke the character too, tilting his head to the side and Newt let his hand fall back again.

“A statement,” he answered with a shrug. “Sorry. Just never noticed that.” Then he looked Thomas up and down. “This should get treated.”

Is he back in the rehearsing scene? Jesus.

“Are you always this on and off?” Thomas asked instead and Newt’s lips curled up in a smile. For once it even looked genuine.

“I might be,” he admitted. He was almost the same height as Thomas, but definitely thinner and lankier. With the oversized sweater he reminded him of a kid that got lost in a filming studio, especially with his baby face. “And I might have an idea too.”

“An idea?” Thomas crossed his arms on his chest, because hey, so far Newt’s ideas were only making things worse, so he was right to be wary.

“Like, I’m aware you don’t like me, and that’s fine,” Newt made a vague gesture towards them both and Thomas only nodded in agreement. The antipathy was there and he would be lying if he tried to tell him the opposite all of sudden, especially after yesterday. “So consider this – stay in character.”

“I do stay in character-,”

“I mean stay in character all the time you’re around me,” Newt stopped his immediate defence swiftly. “And I’ll stay in mine. So every time we will interact, just let Stephen and Isaac do it.”

“I don’t follow,” Thomas sighed in exasperation. What was that supposed to be about? “What if I’m going to need something not work related or-?”

“Stay in character even for personal-related things, for work things, for all things, with me,” Newt proposed. “Think of it as a roleplay? Ever done that?”

“Roleplay,” Thomas repeated the word with raised eyebrows and all he could think of was Dungeons and Dragons or something really kinky. “Well, not outside of work, I guess.”

“It’s a perfect way how to get into the character and understand him better,” Newt explained with strange happiness around him and Thomas gulped down the comment he probably did it a bit too often. “And maybe it’s what we need as well. If you think of me as of Isaac?”

It was true Isaac was rather interesting character – the show portrayed him as smart, a little geeky, but fun, and with sharp sense of humour. Apart from Newt’s own stubbornness and nasty comments it could be a nice change.

“Okay then,” he agreed in the end, because what was there to lose? Apart from some dignity, he mused, because as much as being an actor made his living, playing the character outside of it sounded more like a chore than fun. Then again – if he had to do that only around Newt, it could work.

“Great, it’s settled then,” another genuine smile and it felt like aura around Newt changed somehow, it was almost eerie. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” Thomas managed and Newt was out of the door in a second, leaving the brunet alone and confused. He was a little worried this state would be a norm around the guy from now on.

***

“Morning,” Thomas yawned on his way to the table, coffee in hand and several greetings echoed back at him, Newt’s included. It sounded friendly and Thomas had to do a double take before he reminded himself it was supposed to be that way because they weren’t them, but their friendlier counterparts. He seated himself across the blond and glanced at him out of curiosity, just to get another smile in response before he looked back at Jorge, leaving Thomas in slight stupor.

So this was how Newt interpreted Isaac? Thomas wasn’t sure if it made him uncomfortable more than his usual snide remarks for how big the change was, but at the end of the meeting he felt a little more relaxed around him at least, because apparently no verbal attack was coming. Newt behaved like there was no bad blood between them and the lines reading was easy and probably surprising for the rest of the cast. At least Jorge looked satisfied at the end, which was a small victory.

“Lunch?” Newt asked him at noon and Thomas thought it was fine to say sure more easily now.

They grabbed food and actually talked about non-work related things without any poison threw in, which made Thomas conflicted as hell. He felt like he was sitting on needles for about first 20 minutes in, during the menu studying and ordering and sipping his soda, like the attack could have happen anytime and he needed to be ready, but Newt sat on the opposite side of the table like a holy picture, smiling and telling him about a football game that happened last night (and Thomas missed it because sleep was too demanding) and not a single bad thing fell from his mouth. Not even a dirty comment about Thomas’ obvious lack of knowledge about football teams – Newt actually explained why he liked his own team (apparently family fixation, so he was a long-time fan) and what games have great moments in it and Thomas found himself relaxed and listening for the first time ever when in Newt’s company.

“You strike me as a sports fan,” Newt offered leisurely while poking in his food. He barely ate anything since he mostly talked, but somehow didn’t even look like he had the appetite.

“I’m more of a baseball fan,” Thomas responded easily and wondered if this was even allowed. Was he supposed to talk about himself or about Stephen? He made a mental note to ask Newt at some point, but so far it looked like the blond was talking about his own hobbies rather than about Isaac’s, but he couldn’t be sure. He knew Stephen was more into adrenaline sports, especially the ones he could do himself, rather than watching others to do it, but Thomas liked all his limbs intact and not broken, so he was mostly Stephen’s opposite. “Long time Mets supporter.”

“Nice. Watched baseball sometimes with my uncle,” Newt flashed him another oh-so-genuine smile and Thomas felt himself tensing again, alert and ready for a flip without any real means to. The difference from normal Newt and Isaac’s Newt was huge, to the point of worrying, and Thomas couldn’t help but wonder how much of a self-control it had to take for Newt to maintain this happy-to-go attitude with him when normally he was about to bite Thomas’ head off.

He took a breath to point it out, but then deflated when Newt finally started eating, relaxed and for the lack of better word vulnerable. Attacking him now in any way was low even for their normal interactions.

He kept his peace for the remainder of their break.

***

“You sound angry.”

Thomas stopped mid move when Newt’s words flew over to him, blinking in confusion. The scene was called cut a few seconds ago for another take and Thomas wasn’t really thinking about why, since Jorge didn’t really pinpoint anything being wrong. They were in Isaac’s lab, the crew around them busy as bees, preparing for another take, the cameras pointed at him and Newt with deadly accuracy.

“Angry?” he repeated and Newt walked towards him with thoughtful expression.

“Yeah, like. You’re mad about something,” he gesticulated between then while he stopped in front of Thomas. “I don’t know if it’s intentional. The script doesn’t really say he should be angry, but it’s kind of sharp from you?”

“Oh,” Thomas cleared his throat. It was actually a valid point. Not even an attack, more like an observation. Newt was trying to be helpful. Towards Thomas. Without malice. So weird.  

“You’re right,” he admitted, taking the script to his hand from the table behind the scene, going through it. “I’ll try to soften it a bit.”

Newt nodded, still thoughtful, and retreated back to his spot. He was in the white lab coat and had thick, black glasses and wild hair and Thomas caught himself staring without any means to do that. He had seen him in his getup before, it was nothing new. Yet somehow it was like interacting with a completely different person and when Jorge came back and the scene played out again, he found himself talking softer and Newt’s eyes told him it hit the right spot.

The scene didn’t need to be repeated anymore and Jorge patted them happily on the back. Thomas pretended he didn’t see the smile Newt sent his way.

***

The days passed and the strange roleplay approach worked like a charm. Even the crew noticed and the cast was commenting on it at readings repeatedly, but without real heat. Neither Thomas or Newt elaborated though, and it was probably for the best to keep it at vague we talked it out.

He thought he was going to be much more opposed to the romance progression part in the story, but when the more intimate scenes started, Thomas didn’t have an urge to strangle Newt anymore, so he had to admit Newt’s idea wasn’t bad. The story romance was cheesy but slow and getting accustomed to Newt’s Isaac was no work, since they did that the whole time now.

“Gotta work on your stiffness,” Newt piped after the wrap up when the crew was packing up and they were putting costumes away. “You’re like a wooden board when we touch.”

“I guess that’s my default setting,” Thomas joked back because he had no idea what else to say. He was aware every time Newt touched him (and they weren’t even in the intimate part of touching yet), his body seized up and he moved like a robot for the remainder of the recording, mechanical and unattached. It wasn’t like he expected a punch or anything, but his brain didn’t get it yet. “I will work on it.”

He saw Newt nod in the corner of his eye when he was pulling the shirt over his head and then yelped when he got seized in a strong hug from behind, clutching him like a vice.

“What the-!”

“Practice.” Newt squeezed a bit more and then finally lost the strength Thomas would never believe he possessed in that lanky body of his. He still held on though and Thomas hung there helplessly like a doll. It was uncomfortable and weird angle too, but Newt didn’t look like he cared.

Well, when he ever did?

“This is not really helping though,” he commented with a huff, letting his arms fall and Newt barked out a laugh. He was plastered over half of Thomas’ back and his side, just holding him like a teddy bear, and his body was warm like a thermo blanket.

“Don’t worry, it will,” he assured him, gave him one last squeeze and then finally let go. Thomas wasn’t surprised by the big grin he had when he turned around to tell him off. So he let the words die in his throat and only shook his head.

Newt did the hugging thing every day after and Thomas resigned to his fate after a week (once he even leapt to Thomas’ arms without any warning except shouting sike! and Thomas had to praise himself for actually catching him properly while swearing like a sailor). He pointedly ignored Minho’s smartass commentary about it though.

***

It was usually Newt that approached Thomas on his own, either with some work-related questions or even a simple talk and for some reason Thomas started to expect their daily 15 minutes of freestyle since then. Maybe that was why today he was so weirded out when Newt didn’t really do that before the reading, or after reading, or for lunch. He saw him several times during the day usually staring into his phone or talking to somebody else, but he didn’t make a move towards Thomas at any given time. True, they there were no scenes involving them together scheduled, but normally it didn’t stop him.

Thomas, to his dismay, realized he grew restless.

When he saw Newt again in the hall, he decided to be a big boy and start conversation on his own, even though he had no idea why. He grabbed two cups of coffee on the way (one with milk and sugar, one purely black) and let his legs carry him all the way towards his blond nemesis, who was staring into his phone again.

On one note Thomas hoped nothing serious happened, and that care alone surprised him. Just a month ago he wouldn’t give a rat ass about Newt’s problems, so this was definitely new. And concerning, really.

Then again that’s what you get when you act like a decent being, I guess.

“You seem awfully quiet today,” he greeted him with an outstretched hand holding the cup and Newt glanced up from his phone with badly masked surprise. Thomas would even say it could equal a shock for a split second before he mastered it enough to hide it.

“Oh,” he let out, kind of lamely, and Thomas had to clear his throat for the blond to notice the coffee. When he finally took it, Thomas felt a wave of relief he wasn’t turned down. Somehow, he already dismantled most of his defence mechanisms against this guy; it would suck if he allowed being vulnerable now just for Newt to blew it out of blue.

“It’s black,” the blond commented when he sipped the coffee, his brows furrowed. Thomas made a humming noise.

“You drink it black, as far as I know?” he offered and Newt’s eyes searched for his. It was a weird look, like he didn’t know what to do or say.

It’s just a coffee though, sheesh.

“I do,” he replied after a moment.

“Okay.”

“You remembered,” Newt added a little more hesitantly. “That I drink it black.”

“Yes?” Thomas raised his eyebrows. “I mean you always drink black, it’s kind of easy to remember?”

“No, I mean…” he stared a bit more, but then averted his eyes. “Never mind. Thanks.”

The uneasy feeling of something being wrong creeped into Thomas’ stomach almost instantly. He stood there in complete stupor, no words coming out of his mouth, paralyzed of the sudden change he got so easily unaccustomed to in a span of several weeks. Newt was not looking at him and Thomas wanted to ask if the roleplay was over and they were about to be mean to each other again, but couldn’t get it past his lips.

“So, what do you want?” Newt finally asked and it was bizarre to hear now. What would Thomas want from his colleague he spent few weeks talking daily to about any possible thing? Gee, who knew. Was him doing the first step not allowed?

He didn’t say anything because he had no idea what would be an appropriate response Stephen would give. At this point he drew blank even for his own reactions. When Newt glanced at him worriedly, he wanted to ask why the hell was he making that face, but at the same time didn’t want to know.

“And here we can see two awkward roosters in their natural habitat,” came suddenly from behind them and an arm landed on Thomas’ shoulders, almost making him spill the coffee. Minho shook him like a rag doll, grinning from ear to ear. He didn’t even hear him coming. “Never saw courting so painful than with you two, I swear.”

Newt made a face and Thomas felt his stomach drop somewhere between his legs.

“Fuck off,” he shot out and shook off Minho’s arm unhappily, pushed his coffee to his hand and left the hall like a tidal wave.

He ignored his phone for the rest of the day. It was constantly beeping.

***

He had never seen anybody with deadlier puppy eyes than Newt had. The moment he arrived on set and before he could even greet anybody and get a cup of coffee, the blond was there, gazing at him with the ultimate weapon of mass destruction, and it didn’t get any better with time.

“Okay, I’ll bite, what’re you doing?” he finally confronted him, arms crossed on his chest, and Newt gave him almost a full body shrug. The meeting room was half empty and Newt was following him around the whole day like a sad dog. Thomas didn’t even read the messages from yesterday and already knew they were from him and what approximately they said.

“Trying to make you feel sorry for me, naturally,” he replied with ease. “Is it working?”

“Sorry for you,” Thomas repeated with raised eyebrows. “For what?”

“For being a target of somebody’s ire.”

Somebody as in Thomas, no manual needed.

“Shouldn’t you be doing that at them in that case?” he decided to play the game as well, because for some reason the Newt’s Isaac was back and yesterday’s Newt’s Newt departed once more like a glitch in Matrix. Thomas didn’t lose any sleep over it, but then again, he went to bed so late there was almost no sleep to be talking about.

It wasn’t because of Newt though. Why would it be, even?

Newt made a face at him, but the puppy eyes resumed right after.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged again. “They’re stubborn.”

“That so.”

“Yeah,” the blond took few steps closer. “Need them not to be mad. Want to kiss them.”

“Wait, what-,“ Thomas barely get the words out and Newt was already in his personal space, hands on his cheeks and leaning in and Thomas felt like he was losing balance for how much he was trying to avoid him, and would probably fall flat on his ass if Newt didn’t grab him around his waist to prop him back up.

“Nice gymnastics, you two!” Minho shouted from the table and Thomas felt the heat rising up in his cheeks, his body pressed against Newts’ from their chest to their knees while he heard others snapping pictures of them.

“Are you fucking nuts?!” he hissed at Newt in a hushed whisper and the blond grinned, not letting go.

“Nah, but I’m helping,” he had the audacity to squish Thomas’ cheeks and Thomas grabbed him by his wrists to stop him. Newt didn’t budge and that unnatural strength was beginning to make Thomas worry.

“To my grave, yeah, you are,” he growled and Newt laughed quietly while his hands finally let go of Thomas’ face.

“It’s today, you know,” he said with a smirk and Thomas frowned. “The snogging scene. It’s today.”

“It’s today?!”

“Today.”

Thomas blamed Newt for not knowing and not checking the plan yesterday and for the sleep and bad mood too – and quite frankly even for the spoiled food he found in the fridge because Newt was weird and out of what Thomas was used to and it threw him off more than he thought it would and it sucked.

The hands on his cheeks were back and then there were also lips on his own, smooching him like grandma visiting on Christmas along with obnoxiously loud mwuah and the cameras snapping were even louder now, throwing Thomas into a murderous spree.

“You-!”

“Meet me in five at the trailer and let me snog you right, dog,” Newt stopped him from the outburst and pinched his cheeks, then let go. “No homo.”

“Fuck you!” Thomas barked with his chest heaving at Newt’s retreat back, and the blond glanced back at him and smiled.

“No u.”

And left.

***

In retrospect coming after Newt to the designated meeting spot was a bad idea, but Thomas had seen red and didn’t care. He had no idea what the hell was the blondie thinking and he was about to shake it out of him if he had to, truce be damned.

“My, don’t you look ravishing,” Newt greeted him between the doors with a chuckle and if Thomas was just a bit angrier, he would probably greet him back with a fist in his face.

“I thought you said we’re going to be fucking civil with each other,” he barked instead and Newt tilted his head in silent question. “Your stupid roleplay shit! And then you pull this out?”

“What’s this?” the blond opposed calmly. “Don’t tell me you’re angry over one smooch. What’re you going to do after the rehearsals with the crew watching us make out? Kill me?”

“Listen-,”

“No, you listen,” Newt stopped with an exasperated sigh. He ran his hand through his hair, making it even messier than normally, and his shoulders sagged down as if he flipped a switch. “I’m sorry I was a dick yesterday. I guess it threw you off and it’s my fault, and I want to make amends.”

Thomas opened his mouth in opposition before it dawned on him that Newt was, in fact, apologizing. He had to do a double take and run it again in his head until he was sure he heard him right, and it still didn’t really make it as believable.

“Oh,” he let out.

“And also, I wasn’t lying about the snogging shooting, so,” the blond took a step away from the door and gestured for Thomas to enter. “I’m sorry and let’s try it before we look like complete idiots in front of everybody else.”

Let’s try to snog, that definitely wasn’t something he thought he would ever hear from this guy. It must have showed in his face since Newt’s mouth curved up in obvious amusement.

“I know right? What’s been happening to us lately,” he commented on it like he read Thomas’ mind and then reached for his shirt and pulled him in the trailer. Thomas wanted to comment on how damn stupid it must have looked to anybody outside, but Newt was already kissing him without even a word of warning and Thomas was too stunned to move.

There was a pressure and a hand on the back of Thomas’ neck, but other than that nothing else really happened and then Newt was pulling away, looking at him with mild annoyance.

“Can you do something better than the dead fish lips?” he asked and Thomas blinked, his vocal cords not working in the slightest. He could imagine all kind of things happening with Newt – a fist in his face, a vicious prank of sitting on a pin, but being kissed when not in front of a camera (since that’s where it was supposed to happen) was not one of them.

“Uh oh,” the blond stepped away. “Did I break you?”

“I think so,” Thomas heard himself saying. He couldn’t really recall much about the kiss, his brain drew a blissful blank, not even how long exactly it was, but he knew it happened. “Little warning next time?”

“Isn’t the shock value counting as a plus point though?” Newt‘s face relaxed and even smiled and Thomas shook his head.

“Not if you aren’t trying to cause me a heart-attack,” he commented sternly and then took a deep breath. “Fine, okay. I’m ready.”

“So clinical,” Newt rolled his eyes and took a step forward but Thomas’ hand flew up and spread in the middle of Newt’s chest, stopping him. “What now?”

“Is it supposed to be Isaac to take the lead?”

It was a valid question, because Thomas didn’t see Isaac as a leading man for this kind of thing. But then again, he purposely left the snogging scenes be so he couldn’t say.

“Yes,” Newt shrugged. “Think nerds don’t take initiative?”

Thomas rumbled but let his hand fall down.

“You didn’t even read it, did you,” the blond smirked. “You left those scenes alone.”

It’s not like Newt could read Thomas mind, but lately it felt like he did and it was terrifying.

“Maybe,” he let out grudgingly.

“You’re adorable.”

“Shut up, nerd.”

“That’s not very Stephen of you,” Newt commented with a grin and he looked so smug Thomas couldn’t stand that. He grabbed the blond by the collar of his stupid striped shirt and pulled him forward until their lips met in the middle, along with Newt’s yelp somewhere in between.

It was mostly just pressure with almost no movement of the lips, like proving a point he could do it as well without warning if he wanted to, and for a while it kind of worked, since Newt was standing on the spot like a frozen statue.

“Hmm,” Thomas pulled away with a cocky smile, drinking in Newt’s wide eyes. “Can you do something better than the dead fish lips?”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” the blond breathed out and quite frankly Thomas expected him to lean back in, since he presented it as a challenge, but still didn’t think it would be open mouthed and pushing and that there is going to be tongue involved right off the bat. He made a muffled noise when Newt stepped even closer and grabbed Thomas by his waist, bringing them chest to chest, kissing him so deeply it made his head spin.

Was it supposed to be like this? It didn’t even feel like simple kissing anymore, but make out with the way Newt’s hands started to travel over Thomas’ back and his sides and hips and even fucking squeezed his butt few times. He was tilting his head and pushing into Thomas so insistently it felt like he just wanted him horizontal in near future and Thomas felt his body moving backwards, step by step until his back hit the wall and he made another muffled noise that should have showed his discomfort but Newt probably didn’t even hear it.

It felt like forever before Newt finally pulled away, drawing in a shaking breath, his eyes still closed and lips almost red. Thomas couldn’t help but think he looked like he was ready to shoot a porn scene, with his ruffled hair and heavy breathing and like, everything, but quickly got rid of the thought. Newt, out of all people, definitely didn’t look erotic to him. No fucking way.

“You done?” he croaked out, cursing his own voice to be so weak in a situation like this, and Newt finally opened his eyes, almost black how his pupils were blown wide and had the audacity to shook his head.

“Not in the slightest,” he replied in a low voice, so low Thomas barely heard it, and his hands, up until now resting on Thomas’ hips, travelled up, dragging over Thomas’ shirt up to his neck, warm and sure. The silence in the trailer was almost suffocating, making Thomas hear his own heartbeat so clearly he was almost sure Newt had to hear it too.

“Newt-,”

“Not at all,” the blond didn’t let him speak, his thumbs started caressing Thomas’ jaw and before Thomas could at least ask him what the hell was wrong with him, he was already being kissed again, gentler this time, but not less lewd with all the tongue, and Thomas found out he couldn’t move, like his body rooted to the spot. The blood was now roaring in his ears and he was goddamn confused about it, because it was Newt kissing him, Newt being here, crowding him against the wall in the trailer, holding him on the spot by caressing his neck and his face and kissing him like he wanted to do it for ages and then some. The same Newt he hated to bits just a month ago, who was bitter and sarcastic and never said a nice word to Thomas.

Was this some sort of revenge, maybe? Some elaborate prank he played, maybe with a camera rolling from a hiding spot, so he could laugh about it later with others? His let’s try it before actually shooting the scene in front of the crew now blurred together with unreasonable making out and Thomas was damn sure they didn’t need to do this much up until who knew when in the shooting.

Yet he still didn’t push Newt away. Hell, he even participated in the kiss – slowly, maybe, hesitantly, but he wasn’t just taking it like a figurine either, no matter how hard he would try to deny that. So when Newt let go of him with a slow exhale and his hands slowly fell from Thomas’ neck, Thomas was at loss of what to say. He couldn’t really accuse him of anything, though maybe he sort of wanted to, but words simply didn’t come.

“Well,” Newt finally broke the silence, stepping away. “I think we’re good.”

He cleared his throat about three times and it felt awkward, like the reality caught up with him and now he was internally screaming. Thomas was surprised his own inner monologue stopped instead, only accompanied by a low hum of his thoughts.

“Right?” the blond finally looked up from the floor he was hypnotizing since the kiss ended and Thomas stared back at him in silence. He could still feel Newt’s mouth on his own and he licked his lower lip without even thinking about it and Newt’s eyes followed the movement with wide eyes.

“Right,” Thomas said eventually, refusing to try deciphering that particular look, and left before Newt could say anything else.

***

Hiding was a wrong word to use for Thomas’ current behaviour. He wasn’t hiding at all. He didn’t have a reason to hide, what happened was Newt’s initiative and Newt’s alone. If he ever wanted to make Thomas guilty about it, Thomas was ready to kick him back with something equally nasty, like you were the first who stuck his tongue into my throat or grabbing my ass or rubbing against me – which he was by the way, he totally was at some point but Thomas didn’t want to think about that. Hell, he tried to push it out of his mind the whole time between sets while reading the incriminated scene in the script (damn Newt being right about Isaac taking initiative, damn him), up until he couldn’t anymore because it was the scene, and Newt was standing in front of the camera already in the white lab coat and crazy hair and Jorge was talking to him about something and Thomas felt his legs turning to jelly.

“Oi, don’t look so scared,” Newt’s voice flew over to him, making Thomas’ stomach make a double flip. “We practiced, right?”

“If you call that a practice…” Thomas uttered under his breath, but at least he felt little less intimidated when the Newt in the trailer with almost black eyes and heaving chest and red lips bruised from kissing got replaced by this cocky shit again. Jorge was behind the camera and Thomas had to mentally praise him for not grinning at them like a loon and making it even more awkward.

Because if anything, awkward definitely fitted the description the best and probably even more so after the practice Newt put him through. At least most of the crew left, even though they usually only did when there were more intimate scenes involved, but Thomas was still grateful he didn’t need to try and ignore Minho making faces at him from behind the scene.

When the camera started rolling and their lines flowing in, Thomas was surprised he didn’t feel nervous as much as he thought he would. If anything, he was anticipating, because he knew how Newt felt already against him, so when the blond stepped close with the scripted line and touched Thomas’ chest in the middle, he was ready for the tongue and teeth and hands everywhere and maybe even the butt touching because Newt did that plenty.

But then there was pressure on his lips and a gentle touch of hand on his cheek for split second and then Newt was pulling away, eyes downcast, small smile playing on his, no, on Isaac’s lips, and it was over.

He couldn’t help but gawk at him, and quite frankly wasn’t even surprised when Jorge ended the scene and called him out for looking like somebody just told him he lost the raffle for a teddy bear and demanded a retake.

“Uh, yeah, sorry,” he responded sheepishly and they started anew, the marks, the lines, the touch on his chest, the fucking innocent peck on his lips, the small smile scripted to a tiniest detail, the end. Thomas still gawked and Jorge let out a sigh, giving them ten minutes before trying again.

“What’s wrong with you?” Newt asked him like there was nothing wrong going on, like he didn’t just endlessly grope him in the trailer and then kiss him here like grandma on Christmas visit. Thomas wanted to tell him, he wanted to throw it in his face, but he just couldn’t bring himself to.

“Sorry,” he repeated, clearing his throat. Jorge didn’t say anything about the kiss, only about Thomas’ bewildered expression, so there probably wasn’t anything bad about it, but it still felt like… nothing. In comparison, at least.

“You really did look like somebody stole your cookie though,” the blond poured oil into the fire and had the audacity to smirk as well. “Didn’t we practice?”

“Not enough tongue here, I guess,” Thomas bit back and felt a small amount of satisfaction when Newt averted his eyes with small hitch of his breath.

“Well, it’s not really in the script,” he mumbled after, almost grudgingly and Thomas took a deep breath.

“Interesting,” he commented. Nothing else. Newt kept his eyes casted on the floor, looking stiff and uncomfortable and Thomas wondered if he kept quiet long enough, if he would elaborate. He did not, not until Jorge got back, sent Thomas questioning glance and he managed to muster a smile.

The camera rolled again, the lines, the touch, the kiss, Thomas forced himself to look happy and Jorge was looking satisfied at the end. He even praised him with a pat on his back and when Thomas turned back towards Newt, he realized the blond was already gone.

Typical.

***

They didn’t have any shooting together the next day and Thomas frankly wasn’t surprised he didn’t even catch a brief glance of Newt. Probably for the best too, since his mood was so bad, he would probably only bark at him and neither of them needed that. He barely slept, his thoughts kept on swirling around the weird intimacy Newt showed him and then proceeded to be shy about it, and it just didn’t make any sense.

“Newt called in sick,” Minho told him around lunch, sitting next to him when Thomas nursed his coffee and only nibbled his food with fork. He ordered Chinese and it was great but his appetite probably called in sick as well.

“Mhm,” he let out. No surprise there, probably. Thomas thought he should have been relieved but quite frankly nothing much came.

“Didn’t text you?” Minho asked, eyebrows raised and Thomas sipped his coffee.

“Nope,” he responded coldly. “Am I his mum or something?”

“No, but you do spend lots of time together lately,” his friend shrugged. He meant well, probably, but obviously wanted some gossip too. Thomas couldn’t blame him. “Thought you’d know.”

“Nah, he’s sulking now,” Thomas uttered and Minho’s expression changed to a surprised one. “Better leave him to it, I guess.”

“Sulking cuz of the snogging?” Came a question and Thomas had a fleeting panic reaction of Minho knowing about the trailer make out, but he squashed it fast. “I thought it went well?”

“Yeah, was fine,” Thomas waved his hand. “He’s just being weirder than normally about it.”

“Huh,” Minho propped his chin on his palm. “Thought you’d be the one freaking out, not him.”

“Same.”

“But maybe it’s cuz he likes you,” his colleague offered with an absolute calm. “So kissing you sorta flipped his switch?”

Thomas glanced at Minho with a sigh. It probably looked that way from outsider’s point of view, he mused. Newt suddenly being nice to him, asking him to go for lunch together and then having all those weird quirks like hugging all of sudden or smooching him in front of everybody and all in all being quite affectionate, so coming to a conclusion of falling in love was logical. They didn’t know it was Isaac’s character and Isaac’s quirks and Isaac’s affection that Newt played, that it was part of the deal between them. All fake and calculated, all according to plan… until the trailer. Or so Thomas thought, because even though Newt was so confident in there, in the aftermath he just looked vulnerable and guilty, as if he took it too far but didn’t know how to remedy that.

Thomas kind of wanted an explanation. Anything would do, really, but Newt didn’t say anything, so Thomas decided to ignore it as well. Not that it was possible to just forget about it, but not talking about it worked.

“You know what,” he pushed away the plate and put down the coffee. “You’re probably right. He’s totally in love with me and he stayed home cuz he has to think of an elaborate love confession that will sweep me off my feet.”

Minho made a face but left him alone. Thomas was really looking forward to his day off tomorrow.

***

NEWT: So now you’re sulking?

Thomas blearily looked at his phone, the clock showed something past nine in the morning and he would never believe a text alert could actually wake him up.

THOMAS: What

NEWT: You’re not here, so I’m asking if you’re sulking

THOMAS: Weren’t you the first one to sulk yesterday?

NEWT: Called in sick

THOMAS: Yeah, aka sulking.

NEWT: I was sick, not sulking

THOMAS: Convenient.

NEWT: Was throwing up

THOMAS: Sure you were.

NEWT: C’mon, were you lonely?

THOMAS: Just enjoyed some peace and quiet for a change.

NEWT: You were and now you’re sulking

THOMAS: It’s my day off, Romeo. Fuck off my DMs.

NEWT: Wait, what

THOMAS: DAY OFF. LET ME SLEEP. FUCK YOU.

NEWT: In that order?

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he groaned and plopped the phone next to him on the bed, ignoring how it beeped several more times. He planned to sleep the whole day.

***

NEWT: Jesus, it’s so boring here without you

THOMAS: You’ll live.

NEWT: You should stop by

THOMAS: I don’t want to get molested, so no.

NEWT: Molested? Preposterous

THOMAS: You’re an old pervert.

NEWT: I’m quite young tho

THOMAS: Still a pervert to the boot. Touching my butt and all, no manners.

NEWT: I never said I have manners

THOMAS: I already knew you didn’t have any manners, trust me. No illusions.

NEWT: See so don’t act surprised

THOMAS: I was hella surprised, but I admit not really about the practice kissing as I was about the scripted one.

NEWT: Oh yeah not enough tongue

THOMAS: Like you got all shy.

NEWT: I got all professional

THOMAS: So the practice was all personal?

Thomas wasn’t surprised when no reply came.

***

NEWT: Sorta was personal yeah

The clock showed something past 7 in the evening and Thomas didn’t expect Newt to reply anymore. It took him three hours, but the text actually came and Thomas was staring at it with Who framed Roger Rabbit playing in the background.

THOMAS: Took you three hours to come up with that?

NEWT: If you didn’t notice I’m at work

THOMAS: No, I didn’t, you’re bothering me the whole day.

NEWT: I’m making it more pleasant you mean

THOMAS: No, not really.

NEWT: Liar

THOMAS: So what was personal about it?

NEWT: Your butt was

“Fucker, you just can’t give me a straight answer, huh,” Thomas grumbled, debating with himself if he wanted to continue the pointless conversation or not. Newt was all bold over the phone which was frustrating – in person he would never tell him all these things.

THOMAS: So you decided to practice some French on me cuz of my butt.

NEWT: Huh that sounds like a better excuse than the one I had prepared

THOMAS: You’re so fucking annoying. Just tell me wtf it was already or I’m turning my phone off.

NEWT: Damn you so mean today

THOMAS: Turning it off.

NEWT: Nononono wait

Thomas frowned and sent a question mark instead. He would rather to hear it personally but if Newt needed to hide behind the texts, maybe it was for the best.

NEWT: I’m totally in love with you and wanted to kiss you and grope your butt cuz yolo

THOMAS: Fuck off.

NEWT: What it’s a legitimate reason and also totally believable cuz Minho said so

THOMAS: Maybe you need better friends.

NEWT: Please love me back baby

THOMAS: You’re not my type.

NEWT: Don’t break my heart :(

THOMAS: I don’t like blond people.

NEWT: You don’t like … WHAT

NEWT: ARE YOU FOR REAL

NEWT: YOU HEATEN

THOMAS: Blond people are meh. All stupid. No brains, ever. It’s the bleach.

NEWT: Bleach! But I’m natural c’mon

THOMAS: That’s even worse. You were born with small to none brain already. You’re doomed to be an idiot for the rest of your life.

NEWT: Oof you real mean now

THOMAS: Newt.

NEWT: Yes

THOMAS: Seriously. Be honest with me.

NEWT: I’m honest. I’m really a natural blond

THOMAS: Do you like me or something? Or you hate me and thought it was a good prank? Or you went with the flow and sort of didn’t think of consequences cuz the kissing was nice? Did you freak out after and did the lame kissing thing during the scene on purpose? Or did you want to throw me off by it?

NEWT: Yes

THOMAS: Yes which.

NEWT: Just yes you can pick the one you like the most

Thomas turned his phone off and left it that way for the rest of the day.

***

It was Newt’s day off, Thomas knew that. Maybe that was why he went to work less stressed than in an opposite situation, but hated it all the same. Stressing himself over Newt was never really a thing, but he was always somewhere on his mind even before, though only because he found him annoying. But now it was different, tugging in the back of his consciousness and demanding attention 24/7, which quite frankly started to be a problem. Yesterday text exchange didn’t help matters either – it actually only made it worse.

“Wasn’t it your day off? You look like shit.”

Thomas stopped abruptly when Newt’s voice came and then there was coffee in his field of vision and a veiny hand that was holding it, and Newt stood there in white shirt and jeans, offering him the cup.

“Whose fault you think it is?” he barked and didn’t take the coffee in defiance. Newt looked guilty and it served him right.

“Yeah, I know,” the blond admitted and Thomas heard the sound of the cup hitting the table while he was on his way to the changing room. “Look, I’m sorry.”

“You came here today to tell me that?” Thomas refused to look at him. “You could have sent a text. You’re good at that.”

“You turned your phone off,” Newt opposed and caught up with him enough to walk beside him now.

“I told you I would if you keep that up,” Thomas uttered and was glad nobody else was here yet, since hearing them arguing about this was honestly slightly embarrassing.

“I know.”

He didn’t say anything else and Thomas was at the end of his rope.

“Jesus, what else do you want from me?” he finally stopped and looked at the infuriating man next to him in anger. “I played your stupid roleplay game, your practice game, your texting game and your hugging spree and I just don’t want to anymore, I’ve had enough. So just tell me the punchline already so we can go back to hating each other without pretending we’re fine!”

Newt took a deep breath, then another and another and then gnawed on his lower lip for several seconds, keeping Thomas in painful suspense. It made him want to leave him be and just close this chapter of his life, but then Newt finally opened his mouth and said: “I think you’re a bloody prick.”

Thomas stared at him, not really sure how to react. It took several deeper breaths from Newt and then he was talking again, this time in a lower voice.

“I always disliked you,” he said gravely. “You were just so opinionated and stubborn. I thought we could never bloody get along and then Jorge decided to put our characters together and I thought it’s the end, that we’ll kill each other eventually and it’s going to suck-,”

“Why-,”

“Let me finish,” Newt stopped Thomas’ speech quickly. “You bloody wanker, jesus. You just. Made things so hard, so needlessly complicated, I just couldn’t take it. Even at the first lunch you were so full of yourself, so confident you were in the right, it was maddening.”

“Holy shit, why-,”

“Just let me!” This time Newt raised his voice and it echoed in an almost empty studio almost eerily. Thomas shut up. He felt his body shaking and couldn’t even say why, his nerves were like too tightly bound strings.

“You insufferable…” Newt took another deep breath. “I just don’t get it. I don’t fucking know who I love. You or Stephen. I just don’t know who of you two is the one I just can’t leave alone; it’s making me so bloody frustrated.”

Thomas opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Newt would probably tell him to shut up again anyway.

“I kissed you back there, in the trailer, because I thought we gotta, cuz if I did that without you getting used to it, we would fail so hard,” Newt continued and started pacing back and forth, back and forth. “I thought it was smart of me, to just bait you, to make you angry so you wouldn’t protest. But then I kissed you and it all went to shit.”

He stopped, glaring at Thomas from under his blond fringe. He looked angry but at the same time not really.

“You played your part and I played mine and we clicked. You were still struggling, but you were nice to me and I was nice to you and I think it was kind of fun to do that, to play around like that. But now I don’t know. Now you’re here and I know it’s you who is angry at me, but it was you who I texted as well and I’m still bloody attracted to you-,”

“You’re not making any sense,” Thomas finally managed to say, silencing Newt to a complete stupor. “Me or Stephen, what’s that even supposed to mean? I’m me, for fuck’s sake, nobody else.”

“The you that hates my guts,” Newt pointed out with arms crossed on his chest.

“You hate my guts too!” Thomas barked and took a step forward.

“Well not anymore!” Newt copied him and then they were standing in each other’s personal bubble and everything was hot and frustrating and Thomas wanted to punch his lights out so bad, but he grabbed his shirt instead and mashed their mouths together.

There was not even a fraction of second of hesitation on Newt’s end. He grabbed Thomas’ head between his hands and immediately deepened the kiss like he was drowning and Thomas was the only air supply, licking into his mouth so insistently and pulling them together from head to toe, every part of their body touching. Thomas couldn’t breathe but he didn’t even want to, falling into the same frenzy, the same heat and rhythm of tasting, tasting, tasting and more, more, more.

“You just piss me off so much,” Newt was growling against his lips, biting and sucking in between the words. “You always have your way to press all my buttons like you have manual somewhere-,”

“Oh come on,” Thomas pulled Newt’s hand that insistently grabbed his butt away, imprisoning it in a steel grip. “You think you’re hard to read, you spoiled brat?”

“Yes, I am,” Newt struggled to break free and succeeded after a moment, immediately returning his hand on the spot Thomas wanted to keep him from. He even squeezed as if in victory. “You were bloody begging me yesterday to tell you why I frenched you in the trailer-,”

“Begging?!”

“You were pleading-!” Newt devoured his mouth again and Thomas found himself pressed against the wall again but now with Newt’s knee between his thighs, pressing up, making him whine. “You wanted to know, you needed to know what’s going on, you were so cute-,”

“Jesus, I hate you so much,” Thomas struggled against the hold but he only made the friction more insistent and instead of a curse a moan escaped his lips, only to be swallowed by Newt’s mouth closing over his again.

“You don’t mean that,” Newt purred into his ear once he moved his lips to Thomas’ neck, biting it with an obvious intent to leave a mark. “You actually like me, don’t you~.”

Thomas, to his own horror and maybe also relief, realized that he actually did like the guy. And to add to his even worse revelation – it was Newt who he fancied – the foul mouthed and frustrating brat rather than the all likable Isaac persona he was using.

He decided to keep it to himself.

#the maze runner #tmr #newtmas #newmas #prompts #jonipony

[allwillbeone]

Me, a comic reader vs ABC’s “Marvel’s Inhumans” show ep 1 & 2, a live blogging at Discord(revised version)

Me, watching the cursed Inhumans show in few minutes and Triton got shot while Black Bolt and Medusa are having sexy time: I can't, I can't keep up with the show anymore

This is bad, I can tell the show is bad in these few minutes No I'll finish it in spite

[Under the cut because it’s a long post with a bunch of nonsense, tldr: The X-Men didn’t suffer for this]

And Medusa ignored the important call because they are having sex I can understand why the audience rooted for Maximus at first

Now for 4 minutes? The sexy time is ended but I got really cheap CGI cityscape The show is worse than I expected

The city of Attilan is uglier than any brutalist apartment And the lunascape scene looks like a Play Station 2 game, not even 3, PS2 Maximus' first appearance looks so... basic, if I didn't know he's Max I thought him one of the citizens

I really feel sorry for those actors, they are doing their job amazingly but the writing and costumes and setting and CGI and props are bad, so bad, stupidly bad

The X-Men and the Royal family didn't suffer for this

8 minutes and here we go, eugenics shit against one of their family members? And were you expecting I'm going to root for the royal family, writers?? It's really bad... I'm watching the show only 10 minutes and it already makes me hate the show

I mean, it was 2017? and this shit is worse than in 60s comics

Yeah they can't keep romani people and asian people's ethnicity but keep slavery and eugenics shits I even don't understand why MCU so much loves those facial hairs on non facial hair characters

Gorgon: let's destroy the moon rover Karnak: Wow, how mature Humans: Oh no it looks like a hoof that crushed our rover Medusa and Max: shit... BB: Okay do nothing

Umm... is this why Max thought he has to be in charge...?

Medusa, you ignored a really important call and stopped your husband to answer the call because you gave your priority to sexy time, and now you act like you are a dignified queen with authority This show makes my eyes roll hard

Suddenly Karnak starts bubbling on some nihilistic nonsense in the middle of the terrigenesis ceremony and Gorgon being a eugenicist shit against a family member again. And they'll wonder why one of them revolt against them? I also wonder why...

The scene of Lockjaw's first appearance is something off...  he moves like a bad animatronics Ummm, why Crystal has to cover her hand with a cloth if they just grab terrigen crystal with the bare hand from a box?

I'm not sure I can finish the show... this is worse than what I heard...

Well, no one sans Max willing to engage the boy that seems gets nothing from terrigenesis, even the boy suddenly collapsing and having a seizure on the floor... wow, so cold. While Crystal is fawning over that cheep CGI butterfly wing girl, you are so basic, Crys

They've lost my respect one by one Only Triton and Max keep me have some respect as characters but I'm sure the writing will also screw them Poor Triton

And Triton's makeup is also... bad

The actor of Maximus really had the charisma and the charm in his acting, alas the plot and the writing are so bad

Oh Max starts his "revolution" as a pep talk to lower caste people, and he's smol, smoler than the boy, so smol, they got  the actor that could represent him perfectly but Marvel was stupid so they gave him that boring superhero movie black leather and ugly facial hairs instead of iconic Jack Kirby armors or evil mad scientist lab coat

In dinner or lunch or idk, Karnak is being rude and gross out of nowhere to a female servant, and I can't understand what did the showrunner want to describe by the scene

He and Gorgon are dicks to people without any reason

Yeah, and only asian man being a dick to a white lady out of nowhere.... it seems really... a red flag And only black man being an extremely eugenics scum to his family member is... also... a big red flag

Now Max reveals Triton's death and apparently the mission was secret to even Karnak so BB is getting accused at the dinner table. And BB's excuse is "Oh no you never know he really dead" lmao And he thought it's good to invite nuhumans to the moon because "They are family" while treating your moon people with useless/no power as slaves because of the limitation of the resource? Oh yeah, you go Max, you notice the obvious problem

And BB's answer is "Not now, trust me" Oh yeah, maybe going to Earth is "not now", but "getting nuhumans from earth because they are our family uwu" is also not now imo

It's still over 20 minutes and I can't believe I can find those stupidness from the show easily

I need to eat mushrooms to survive this

Maximus: -Calling out his big bro's BS and storming out of the dining- Karnak: Maximus is dangerous, but I'm loyal to you, trust me

Karnak, it's not a good way to gain people's trust

BB takes a big gun out of Gorgon's hand. Gorgon... a gun... Crystal's dress looks like nipples are showing throw the fabric It's just a fold on the fabric apparently but uh...

Medusa: You can't trust Maximus, we can discuss that BB: -signing, apparently he doesn't want to discuss this-

Oh at least he loves his lil bro to some degree

Everything in the show looks fake af, but yes Medusa's hair is the worst

Oh no I didn't notice the scene is switching to the flashback scene because the switching sequence is bad, and it means oh no that scene

[Flashback scene: BB and Medusa first meeting] aaaaaaaaaa Um, not yet... just a short "first contact" scene...

I'm afraid Max starts wooing Medusa out of nowhere, um...

To be honest it doesn't make any sense in the narrative of the show so far but anything didn't make sense in the show so I can let it go

It's kinda ironic that Max was the one who got precognition power in comics, while he saw the chance in the boy with precog power in the show

Umm, this Iso look-like character is... Auran...?

And Auran got killed by Max(with BB's power) in comics, wow ironic

Attilan in comics: Sci-fi city with a bunch of weird spires and alien buildings Attilan in the show: Are these... maximum-security prisons???

The scene is supposed to be in the rooftop garden on the palace, but it looks like a patio in a prison.

An old guy from the genetic council: It's treason, Auran arrest him, I'm really sorry things become like this Auran: -beat the old man til death-

idk why but it feels kinda comedic...

Then the scene is Oahu island because maybe Triton is there? Wow, nice vacation Triton

While Karnak is playing with a moon rover and guarding people are like "Hey, king Maximus' order, bitch!" and Karnak is like "king Maximus? ... oh shit" lmao

Wow, Max, you are the one who made those humans shoot Triton? And now you are trying to kill Gorgon? ... well, this Gorgon has been an extremely eugenicist scum to you and never stop being a dick, I can't blame you about Gorgon in the narrative, go ahead

And those henchmen are really incompetent, where are the suspense and drama

Karnak: Maximus betrayed us and the royal guards with him Gorgon: wtf I'm the head of the royal guards Wow Gorgon, apparently you have no popularity with them...

Now the royal guards are trying to get Medusa and a fight scene begin... the CGI on her hair is soooo hideous, it's almost comedic And playing "Paint It Black"? Seriously???

Finally someone in the royal guard uses their power to take down the target instead of attacking people like humans that they are disregarding

Max, holding a hair clipper: I have no choice Medusa: If you do this I never forgive you Max: (Surprised Pikachu face meme)

TBH Medusa's line here sounds really... stupid... he's committing a coup against your husband, do you think he would mind of your feelings about your hair??? But apparently, he would mind because idk whatever reason And why they just leave her, at least confine her or do something, you are committing a coup!

Oh no THAT SCENE!!! [Flashback scene: BB killed their parents with "WHY"]

wait, is the man in the left is... younger Max? He looks like an adult man here and much older than younger BB

(No apparently it's the present BB watching his younger self, it's really confusing and I have mild prosopagnosia)

So now, royals get Hawaii vacation, congrats

And BB makes a scene in the middle of Honolulu, and Lockjaw just disappeared before things got into a big mess, bad dog

Medusa: I have to find Black Bolt -riding a bus with tourists- Karnak: I have to find my king -trying to go down a cliff and fall-

Wow, Max is talking Crys about her privilege and propagandas Crys: You make me sick, you are just a human Wow, this Crys is worse than comic Crys

not because of his personality or something, but because he has no power??? Oh yes, she needs a mediocre human's dick even she can be a eugenicist scum to her own family member The show is really bad

They only keep the bad parts of comic canon in the show

It's already over 50 minutes so far, and I can't find any good part in the show... other than those unfortunate actors' acting skills

Gorgon is walking into the sea and battling with crashing waves in vain because he feels emo for Triton

And nice surfers rescue him because... apparently... he can't swim...? And those surfers are too nice and chill, they knew Inhumans already because of plot or something like that and just listening Gorgon's story while sharing beers. They are too nice

Crys can contact Medusa because Auran just dropped her comlink and leave it? Those people are supposed to be elite guards but they are so incompetent, even can't hold their childish princess Oh apparently it was Auran's plot to catch Medusa, much better

Gorgon: You should leave Surfers: Why we have to leave our beach Gorgon: because I challenged my cousin and here will be the battleground

Umm... in that case who has to leave the beach is you, Gorgon...

Oh Eldrac was in the show, I wonder how's he now Max wants to kill BB and Gorgon especially, and not mention to Karnak, he's fine with Karnak being alive... while he's not with Gorgon, lol

[Eldrac, looks like Doh the boss character of a retro video game Arkanoid] ...is this... Eldrac...? What they have done to you, you are boring here

BB feels awkward with his outfit and tries to change to norm clothes is definitely funny, finally I can find a good intentional comedy in the show... And he steals those outfit and hurts security guy, wow

[BB is getting arrested by Honolulu cops] Definitely they should make the show as a superhuman sitcom Like make Max a fabulous mad scientist and let him commit a coup in every week, and BB and co overthrow him and take back the throne at the end of the show. In Every Week.

[BB is running away from the cops and police cruisers] This is definitely a comedy material Marvel, are you telling me this is not a comedy show?

Police officer: Taser! Taser! -shoot taser- BB: Oof -destroying a police car accident because he can't hold his voice-

This BB is a weakass, comic BB has endured far worse, how could you have sexy time with your wife if mere human taser let you lost your control!?

[Police officers are beating the shit out of BB] Wow, be nice to an alien robber, honolulu police officers

Max grabbing his hand makes the boy see those visions, but putting an assuring hand on the boy's shoulder causes nothing and they are just okay...? Hmmm...

[Auran snaps a bus driver's neck] Auran you shouldn't kill a human just because they are trying to stop you entering a bus, people will be suspicious

Auran: -finding Medusa's broken comlink in the empty bus- Me: Oh yeah, Medusa ditched the comlink to hide her whereabouts and went to search BB Medusa: -appears behind the bus and attacking Auran and starts catfighting- Me: wtf

Medusa stubbed Auran with a pocket knife... isn't she supposed to be an elite royal guard!? Why everyone is stupid and weakass Medusa takes a comlink from Auran and tells BB she'll find him and kill Max, with tearful eyes, but I even don't feel any sympathy toward those slave owners... especially to that king who tried to invite more people while many people under his rule are already suffering the overpopulation...

And the mine scene... they are supposed to be a civilization with highly advanced tech, but they have to use their own bare hands and simple tool for mining? What about letting them use more safe and effective machines? Is it too much to ask?

Oh yes, they have no tech guy other than Maximus, apparently. This was why they depend on his technology for their city defense even he'd use it for his future coup(and show!Max is not a tech guy here, so they don't have any tech guy apparently)

Okay, I can see what they wanted to do. Jenkins and Lee's Inhumans second series and Hines' Silent War. I can see many references from those comics. But they couldn't make any coherent plot and story from them.

The showrunner thought their version was "more complicated, more real, and more compelling version" than comic Max and miserably failed because they wanted to do Inhumans vol.2 and Silent War and the very core part of the story is "Max has a point but his twisted mind and impulsiveness made his execution totally bad" It's sad that Once and Future Kings haven't written before their production This is why you are the worst showrunner in the MCU, mister Buck

So... this Auran has healing factor... she doesn't have anything that makes her Auran but okay...

I finished Episode 1 & 2, it feels like eternity

#Inhumans #silly artifact insect here

[awkwardplantwrites]

I haven’t written yet, but I do have a lot of ideas to go off now. unfortunately, a lot of involves re-writing stuff. on the one hand, I don’t want to be stuck on the same chapters, but on the other hand, I just Won’t be able to continue unless I add it in. I know a lot of people say “just write, don’t edit” but those aren’t the rules bc there is none and I can do what I want. (pls fix? no being stuck!!! only edit!)

here’s a long post about things I’m planning on adding, as well as headcanons about my own damn story because I’m stuck in fanfic mode forever.

lots of spoilers ahead! 

a horse motif for Renato: I remember when namme-e made the posters, one had a horse on it, which I reckon is a common association with knights. so far there have been 2 horses (well, one is a Kelpie, but it’s a water horse shh. I also found out Northumbrian folk/where Llantry is based call them Brags!) and there will be more horses later in the story. they’re recurring anyway, so why not use it. 

and upon looking at it’s symbolism, I realised that horses are very duty bound creatures, like Renato is to the people of Llantry, they symbolise war/battles - which can bring in memories of his dad, and in comparison to the first horse (which dies in chapter 5... some unintentional symbolism there) Isbeil the Kelpie is much more free and independant and they’re at the Fun part of the road trip, and the Nukelavee (even more dangerous than kelpies) later on will be wild/untamed right about when Renato’s emotions will be in turmoil... you see where I’m going with this :D :D other contenders for motifs include: hands, mirrors/reflections, his shield/armour, dragons. swords are more of a precision tool for magic than a weapon in this universe so that wouldn’t work as a motif.

a candy motif for Pepi: you thought I made him a candy merchant intentionally? no. not at all. except now it is. candy represents good memories, childhood, rewards, pleasure, reminds him of his dad’s business, responsibility in maintaining the business, his family, his lack of magic/inability to make candy, having to do Tammy’s chores for her, and just Tammy in general I guess. 

in the beginning I remember him being enthusiastic about it (if he’s not I’ll add it in lol), singing about it and complaining about being “a candy delivery boy turned overworked squire” and even from that you can tell he already has a complicated relationship with candy. he can’t make it but he sells it and hates selling it but when he talks/sings about it it attracts people, especially children.. perhaps engaging his own inner child too... in chapter 3 Pepi mentioned he was down to two bags, which means he held onto them despite selling out the rest... representing that he’s still holding onto his past even though it’s in the past and gone... and one day he’ll run out and it won’t be in his control and he won’t be able to get any more unless he goes home... which means FACING HIS PAST. so I’m thinking, if he becomes more neutral to it that’ll show how he views his past more healthily? then eat fruit instead?? idk.

magic based on senses: kind of ATLA inspired, but with the 5 physical senses (and a spooky 6th). as I started writing this I realised I probably based their powers depending on which god chose them, for example Lidion is the god of protection, so Renato gets protection based powers. but y’know, I had another idea as I wrote this lmao, what if the regular civillians/people born with magic have sense based magic? not sure if it’s a little ambitious to have 2 entirely different sets of magic. maybe the god powers can be based on senses too. initially the magic was based entirely off of DND classes (Renato’s a paladin and Pepi’s a wild magic sorcerer) but I think I’ve found something more original haha. or perhaps I accidentally moved onto Greek god/Percy Jackson-esque powers. crap. research says scottish mythology is kinda like Greek myths anyway: that’s a win in my book. 

changing Finlay from a floating crystal ball to a bird: introduced in chapter 2, and EVERYTIME I WRITE I FORGET ABOUT FINLAY. it’s like a personal meme at this point. so anyway I took a “what core type are you quiz” a while back and Pepi got adventurecore after I chose bird as his inner animal. making this change will make sense because a) Pepi can talk to animals and this will foreshadow it, b) he likes music and this might be his magic type..? c) Disney needs a mascot character if they’re going to make FM a movie

I just read some bird symbolism and GOD I want to make Finlay a chicken, since it symbolises finding inner power, getting over fear and also it’s very funny to me. or a duck since that symbolises decisiveness and leaving the past in the past. see there’s a lot of things I can do here. but is there such a thing as having too many motifs? I just read that you CAN have more than one, so yes, Finlay will now become a duck. 15 year old/duck obsessed me would be very happy.

empahsizing the illness: plural illnesses actually. Llantry’s illness is actually depression - which they didn’t know bc this is set around the 15th century and the gods forgot to tell them about it or something - caused by overusing their magic, the death of Renato’s dad (public morale figure), poverty, and y’know the middle ages in general. I feel like Renato’s way too upbeat, especially in chapter 4 when they’re running away from the Wakefield Knights. before now I was trying to weave in mood swings which would affect his behaviour and therefore the story. admittedly it’s very difficult, as what they’re doing generally requires a lot of energy and the tone is usually light. someone suggested having his depression be worse when the situation is worse, which I probably will do, but I still feel he could be more low-key. I really, really didn’t want to use the “happy and sad duo” trope, I wanted them to be more or less equal in demeanour. though if I want to portray his depression and distinguish them both it’ll have to be exaggerated I suppose. 

the second illness, Pepi’s anxiety. or well, it was initially anxiety but it’s starting to look more like OCD (that’s self projection for ya). some of my readers already figured out he can do magic, however it’s not that he doesn’t realise it. he casts spells in his sleep and thinks it’s his “evil self” (that idea is still TBC), and he sneaks off in the morning because he remembers sleepwalking and cleans up his mess. and to avoid making it look like schizophrenia, I’m planning to write it so it’s obvious he’s just very in denial about being able to do magic, because later it’s revealed he’s scared to use magic, because he doesn’t want to end up like his sister who became possessed by an evil being and abused magic, which for him is both a rational and irrational fear. avoiding magic could be considered a compulsion since he has intrusive thoughts about becoming evil. 

so I did already plan for him to gradually get more restless and uneasy, he’s supposed to be seem energetic bc he runs solely on anxiety. in my head I was thinking of quirks, and realized him hoarding stuff in his pockets “in case he needs it later” and his insane amount of GUILT, and all that felt pretty OCD. so why not: he’s got OCD. possibly PTSD too.

the idea for Finding Magic began as “magic takes part of your soul, 2 wizards search for help as their magic stops working”. I still have the exact post it note I wrote the first idea on. for this story I have 2 countries, 13 semi-developed towns, over 30 characters. (yes, not Tolkien numbers, but I’m not Writers George) and the reason I wasn’t able to write about ANY of them for the past 2 months is because my brain spirals and ruminates over miniscule details that readers will never know. also because I lost passion, was too tired to develop characters I needed to develop the story to finish the first draft... but now that the passion is back: I’m writing this at 5am, which is reminiscent of the first day I came up with FM, back then called Journey to Magic, where I couldn’t sleep since I was bursting with ideas. 

I guess this is what I find fun, analysing and improving and brainstorming. so while I might not have chapters written down, they’re pretty damn clear in my head and as you can see, I can talk up a storm about my story despite it not existing :D

#writeblr #writblr #writing #fantasy #amwriting #fm tag #im a big fan of symbolism that'll be lost on most readers #awkwardplantwrites #oc: pepi #oc: renato #the plant speaks

[agentdammers]

Grand Torchwood Rewatch 1x12 & 13

IF YOU FALL I WILL CATCH U I’LL BE WAITING........ T I M E A F T E R T I M E

One season down...... It’s a Finale Double Whammy, just as it aired back in 2007! Crumbs of Jack Lore drop into our laps, some absolute plot bullshit takes place, an old man is there!!! fuck it let’s get this over with

content warn: pisstaking, fun having, oh! plot bullshit!, i absolutely lose my fucking mind, Owen Harper!!! I Won’t Hesitate Bitch

1x12 “captain jack harkness”

- a thought before we dive in, but man owen gets A LOT of story stuff over the course of the 2 seasons he’s in right??? like more story stuff than ianto and tosh combined. interesting

- AH FUCK!!! A VOTE SAXON POSTER. REMEMBER WHEN?

- so..... here’s a thing. “Ohhh people have heard music from a derelict building! better send torchwood in!” how... does that come about? Could it be squatters or something??? fuck it, let’s send in a Secret Government Agency! they’ll sort it out. i mean we don’t know what they do exactly but i imagine at least one of them is a ghostbuster or something lmao, whatever

- OH NO THIS CREEPY OLD BITCH!!! i forgot how scary he looked!! god, this dude must be a million, or a vampire, or likely both

- tosh’s eyes get SO BIG WHEN THAT GUY ASKS HER TO DANCE I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! she’s the best one!!!!!!

- wish i could wipe this episode entirely from my memory because that fucking reveal when the Real jack harkness introduces himself? F    U    C   K

- speaking of tosh, finding it extremely unconvincing that she, a tech nerd, would go out with a laptop with an almost completely flat battery... like, c’mon. she would be prepared

- Gwen cooper, a fully adult woman: haha me and my friends;;;; came here 4 a dare;;; cos its spooky lol....

- the camera on this show has me fucking SCREEEAMING “He wears a cravat.” THERE’S A DRAMATIC SLOW MOTION ZOOM IN ON THIS GUYS FUCKING CRAVAT AND THEN ON IANTO’S FACE LOOKING AT IT AND ITS ALL IN FUCKING EARNEST LET ME DIE!!!!!!!!!

- the dance they’re at is called “KISS THE BOYS GOODBYE DANCE”, which is what my finishing move would be called if i was a character in a fighting game

- ianto and owen slapfighting over their shit girlfriend experiences fucking owns genuinely lmao

- tosh pops the top off a tin and then cuts her hand open on the obviously blunt fucking lid?????? jesus christ

- “I’m tired of living in awe of the rift!!!” .....................first i’ve heard of it. I love that owen is talking as though the rift has been a major fucking factor throughout the entire series up until this point, rather than a thing that’s just been vaguely fucking referenced as the reason why a bunch of weird shit just seems to happen in cardiff. no, im not standing for this. You can’t pull out the rift at the eleventh hour and then talk about it as though it’s a Hugely Important plot device when the biggest role it’s had over the stretch of the entire 11 Whole Ass episodes prefacing this was to allow the plane to come through in “out of time”. y’all have barely mentioned the rift this entire time and now you want to act like its the hellmouth??? eat my ass!!!!!!

- and continuing on that note: apparently they’ve had a machine that can manipulate the rift in the hub......... the entire goddamn time. but no one thought to MENTION it i guess!!!!!!!! pfft, why would THAT be important??? right???? right?????

this plot bullshit almost makes me feel bad for how harsh i was about “cyberwoman” but, i will admit.... despite this Absolute Fucking Nonsense, i do find the jack and tosh storyline in this episode really fun and interesting. its just unfortunate that all the stuff arrrrround that is some kind of fic scrawled in the back of a kid’s math book.

- also the size of owen’s fucking NADS in this episode!!!!!!!! “Don’t compare yourself to me.” SAYS MAN CRYING OVER THE GIRL HE KNEW FOR ONE (1!) (SINGULAR) WEEK!!!! as opposed to ianto’s longterm girlfriend being turned into a monster and eventually murdered by his own team!!!! Like, i understand that’s owen’s problem actually goes beyond that, and its not so much about diane herself but about the fact that he let himself feel close to someone again after his fiancee died but for us, The Audience, watching this as it airs... we haven’t unlocked owen’s tragic backstory yet. and without knowing all that it just makes owen look really bad and like a huge fucking tool lmfao.

- NEVERMIND THE END IS GAY AND SAD AND Y’KNOW!!!!!! i am a man of simple pleasures, at heart, and so... i’ll let it slide. jack meeting his namesake knowing that he’s going to die and them having a moment is more of the kind of emotional content we would get in episodes of doctor who, and its Just Right

- in honesty, theres a bunch of stuff about this ep that i DO like. that tosh gets a prominant role for a change, while gwen gets to do fuck all. the whole Real Jack story. owen gets shot and pops a tit out at the end. its just unfortunate thats its all wrapped up in this rift thing thats been wheeled out last minute for a Big Season Finale with no real foreshadowing or build up to it at all lmao. but, moving on...............................................................................................

1x13 “end of days”

- RHYS BUNS DETECTED, A SOUND WAY TO KICK OFF ANY EPISODE

- lovely reading voice ianto’s got..... i also like owen acting up to make sure we know that they remember him being shot in the shoulder last episode lol.

- “owen, if you open the rift you’ll break it” (owen opens the rift anyway) “owen, you opening the rift broke it” (owen GASPS IN DISMAY, ME??? REALLY?) yes bitch open your ears

- “So are we going to sit around crying into our lattes or are we gonna do something about it?” OWEN..... IS THIS. SUPPOSED TO SOUND BADASS I.... GENUINELY CANT TELL? IT SOUNDS BAD, OWEN

- jack was so likeable last ep now he’s a DICK. gwen calls him out on how he talked to owen and he’s really fucking catty at HER for no reason at all????

- i haaaaaaaaate this scene in the hospital where a Mystery Illness has all the fucking symptoms of the bubonic plague but apparently every doctor in the entire hospital never did high school level history and are all incapable of recognising it. if fucking *i* know what symptoms of the bubonic plague are im sure they didn’t need Absolute Brain Genius Owen Harper who is seemingly the only person with any sense in cardiff to come in and diagnose it. i also hate how owen just like casually mentions to the doctor yep, this is caused by people falling through time dude yknow!!! like they do!! expect more of this to keep happening probably idk!!

- “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU OPENED THE RIFT WITH THIS MACHINE WE HAVE THAT’S FOR UHHHHHHHH UHHHHHHH OPENING THE RIFT *big fuck off galaxy brain*” thats basically this episode.

- i love that owen has followed jack all this time but NOW in a crisis is the time to actually lose it and start questioning his authority bc they dont Actually know who jack is like???? you’ve been fine not knowing this entire time before??? thats not to say that jack isn’t an entire dumbass himself. he expects them all to follow him blindly and its so creepy. he’s like a cult leader, and as they all have Torchwood Stockholm Syndrome that ive mentioned in previous episode run downs they’ve all just gone along with it.

- owen having a little cry on the way out is such a Good scene bc he puts on such a brave and defiant front tho 💕💖💘💕

- i dont know why the really quick flashback to diane flying off in the plane made me lose my fucking mind, its just like “LMAO IN CASE U FORGOT: SHE WAS THE PLANE LADY. I KNOW SHE WAS ONLY IN FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES, BUT DONT WORRY ABOUT IT.”

- gwen for fucks sake!!!!!!!! not again!!!!! after all the cryptic shit and lies she’s told rhys up until this point, she now knocks him out and locks him in a cell and STILL offers no explanation. this poor fucking dude!!!!!!!!! and it’s about to get even worse for him...

- the way gwen screams “RHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUURRRRRSSSSS”

- YES EVERYONE REBEL AGAINST JACK!!!!!!! FUCK THIS DUDE!!!! you’re doing what a creepy old dude who is Absolutely Definitely evil wants, but still

- why does gwen start doing shit on the computer when toshiko, the computer expert, is standing right there, like.............

- JACK TRYING TO SMACKTALK TO ENTIRE GANG LIKE HIS OWN CLOSET ISN’T CHOCKFUL OF FUCKING SKELETONS

- i forget, does anyone know jack’s immortal apart from gwen? or was it just the shock of owen actually Shooting Their Boss? the only onscreen death i can recall of his after suzie shot him was in “cyberwoman”

- god, minutes ago they were all like FUCK JACK!!!! JACK DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SAVE US AFTER ALL!!! and now theyre all crawling back asking jack to save them all from cgi pig Ganon and its just..... a lot to happen, over the space of about half an hour.

- the ending is so anticlimatic and also why does sucking all the Yummy Life Energy out of jack make abaddon die?????????? Though in its defence... after like 3 bowls of cereal, i too am like OUCH OOF MY BONES

- aaaaaaaaaand rhys is back! will he get treated any better from here on out? i dont remember!!! guess we’ll see.

- bit much of gwen who’s actually known jack the shortest time of them all to be like NO, let ME be with him uwuwuwuuw

- ahhh!!! ianto smelling jack’s coat ;_;

- aaaand jack’s back too. AND HE GETS TO HOLD A CRYING OWEN? FOR ME? oh you shouldn’t have! this Almost makes up for all that rift plot bullshit (almost. i still know what u did.)

- ANDDDDD OH SHIT. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GOOD ENDING. HERE COMES THE TARDIS. FUCKING YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...............................and there it goes. one season down. sorry this one was so long!!! i love and appreciate anyone to takes the time to read these posts. thank u!!!!

#grand torchwood rewatch 2018 #LONG POST #i got mad abt plot shit A Lot during this finale

[chorusnihili]

Backstory Ask meme, numbers 1-6?

BACKSTORY ASK MEME

1. How did you first come up with your muse’s backstory, if you did at all?

I'm going to put this answer at the end because it's going to get long.

2. If your muse is from a particular show/movie/comic/etc. , how did you first react when you first found out about your muse’s backstory?

Haaa, I honestly wish I remember. I honestly can't even explain why I find Gaster fascinating or even why I chose to write him. I just do. I literally don't have an explanation and... it's kinda weird, tbh.

3. Is your muse’s backstory relatable to you?

Honestly? Not really! I mean, I can find bits and pieces that are similar but, honestly? He's had a rough life. To put it mildly. He experiences and has been through a lot that I haven't. I can sympathize, but it's honestly not something that's relatable to me, as I've thankfully had a fairly good life.

4. Would you rewrite your muse’s backstory? If so, how?

There's been a few parts that I've considered rewriting, mainly because I feel Inferior to other portrayals of Gaster, but as it stands I've held my ground and there's nothing I'm particularly dying to change.

5. What song reminds you of your muse’s backstory?

Echo, probably. It's cliché as fuck but I'm really terrible at associating music to things. Or associating anything, really.

6. Does anything fit your muse’s backstory aesthetically?

I usually use a lot of black vs white vs grey to represent Gaster. Not only because it's his own color scheme, but Symbolically of the good he wants to do, the evil he ends up doing, plus the battle of Determination vs Void, etc. What Gaster used to be, what he wants to be, what he's becoming, what he currently is.

1. How did you first come up with your muse’s backstory, if you did at all?

Hold onto your butts.

The thing with Dr. Gaster is that we get a few key points in canon, and that's about it. We know he was the Royal Scientist before Alphys, that he was incredibly intelligent, that he was destroyed by his own creation, that he created the CORE, and that he's 'scattered through space and time,' whatever that's supposed to mean.

I think as far as canon goes, that's all we get. Entry No. 17 is in Wingdings and assumed to be related to Dr. Gaster, because his initials are W.D. and people assume it stands for Wingdings, due to the precedence of Sans and Papyrus. Plus the MysteryMan, who most people assume is Dr. Gaster, but there's no real evidence either way.

The portrayals I were really interested in were the ones that portrayed this being as some eldritch creature beyond understanding, outside reality, that can toy with the world; sometimes appearing against Genocide Frisk / Chara, sometimes maliciously attacking whatever else in sight.

Restoring Dr. Gaster from his predicament is common in a lot of different fanon, so that was actually the starting point for development of this version.

In the original roleplay where I developed this character, Gaster had isolated some superpowered humans, tricking them into thinking the world was ending so he could nab their souls, steal their Determination, ???, profit.

It was a pretty natural extension of what we see from Flowey that something that’s Soulless, or in Gaster’s case, missing most of his Soul, doesn’t exactly act... friendly.  He’s acting irrationally, acting in his own self interest, and not really caring about the impacts of his actions so long as he gets what he wants.  This remains the foundation of Unbound Form.

In this original RP, he also tricked one of the human protagonists into absorbing his soul and merging their minds.  Upon doing so, he regained most of his clarity and I got a much better first look at who Dr. Gaster actually was.  The first thing that stood out to me was a lot of fear.

It’s a pretty common headcanon that Gaster was among those who was on the surface originally.  And given that he’s a scientist, the idea of him being a fighter--at least back then, didn’t really want to fight, didn’t really understand what was happening--why are they killing us? why can’t we live in peace?  why is this happening to me?

We see most monsters desperately wanting to return to the surface, but then you think about what Sans talks about to the human--good food, good friends, good laughs; is leaving really worth it?

So I started to think about a monster that didn’t want to leave the Underground.  Who so desperately just wanted to be safe, who wanted to build a paradise for monsters without humanity being involved.

Someone who was so deeply terrified of humans, so deeply terrified of the war.  

This proved to be convenient, too--as it allowed Alphys’s discoveries to be her own, and allowed Gaster’s to be his own.  I’m all for reinserting Gaster into the timeline, but that doesn’t mean he needs to take credit for things other characters did.  

The exact details for this would come later.

For now I was working on his fall and shattering.  I know a lot of people portray the CORE as a really dangerous place, where one wrong step will send you careening over the edge, but it never made sense to me.  Gaster is smart, Gaster knows the power of his own inventions.  I couldn’t imagine him ever exposing something that dangerous.

So then I added in this idea that the CORE shifts around on its own.  Of course, it’s meant to just be another puzzle.  But the idea that it could double as a means to reduce stress from the intense heat of the CORE gave me a unique opening:  It meant that there was a brief time when the CORE’s... core was exposed and Gaster could fall.  

Gaster may be meticulous and careful, but he can also be distracted and impatient, which lead to the accident of him disregarding the safety features and falling anyways.

As for his survival, the obvious culprit is Determination.  In fact, it was so obvious that my roleplay partner figured it out before I even revealed it.  The very thing that Gaster was trying to get in the roleplay all along, ... he already had!  

Rather than make up some reason why Gaster would have Determination, either naturally or through experimentation, I chose to take inspiration from the Undyne fight and essentially say that Monsters are capable of producing Determination through willpower if their soul is falling apart but they’re managing to live on.

...

Of course, Monsters and Determination don’t get along.  So that implied to me that something ... was missing.

The answer then was the Void.

Despite being an almost universal concept in the Undertale fandom, I’ve never really seen an explanation for what it is.  Since the Void is so commonly associated with nothingness, emptiness, darkness, etc., I made the decision to make it the counter-force of Determination.  Where Determination is the force that allows a soul to live past its demise, Void is the force that tries to push a soul to death.  

And I decided to push it bigger.

We know that enough Determination allows one to alter fate and time.  Obviously.  It’s the entire premise of Undertale.  But... why?

So I decided that Determination is not only the force that pushes Souls to exist, but the very force that pushes time forward.  Ergo, when a soul possesses more Determination than the timeline itself, they become capable of seizing control of the flow of time and can manipulate time itself to their will.  

In that case, Void would then become the force that seeks to end timelines, the controlling force, the force that prevents timelines from growing indefinitely and colliding into one another.  It’s a buffer, the space that exists ambiently between timelines.  The junkyard where anything that doesn’t belong to time gets yeeted.

And suddenly it sounded a lot like the general fandom’s interpretation.

Now, it’s easy to think, oh, the Void wants to destroy everything, it’s bad and Determination is good.  But, just as the Genocide route shows us the evil power of Determination, the Void does good as well.  As any gardener or oncologist knows, things growing indefinitely is not good.  

And if a timeline remains stable by the ongoing push and pull of Determination and Void, I had my solution for how Gaster remains stable.  Each piece of him produces Determination that’s kept in chack by Void that’s integrated into his soul.

So I had that explanation.

But how did his soul end up in pieces?

...Is anyone actually reading this?  It’s ... pretty long.  I’m going to cut it off here.  If anyone wants to hear the rest of it send in an ask and I’ll finish typing it up lmao.  

#let type = out of character #let type = answer #multiverseoflove

[positivelyamazonian]

As you reminded me "The Shadow Histories" during our epic fangirling over Eric Loren's voice, I think it's the right time to read it. You said you did so... Can you comment on that? Is it good? Did Murti nailed it again? Anything pls. Thankies 💗

Hi my sweetheart! Ok, sorry for the delay, and my apologies also to @castlekriegler who’s expecting a review to Murti’s novels since I read them last October but… they are not easy to review at all :) And also, I don’t want to make any spoilers, so… I’ll try to answer your question without revealing too much about the plot, ok?

First of all, you can purchase Murti’s novels at Amazon. They’re in Kindle format and very, very cheap - just like my personal novel, Irene - so here you have the links to buy the two published titles until this day:

The Shadow Histories, vol. 1 - The Empty Land and

The Shadow Histories, vol. 2 - The Severed Twin

So, let’s talk about these novels. First to say, they are only available in English and it’s a high level of English - wouldn’t you - so if your level of English is not really good, you may suffer a little reading it. Murti uses a complex and ellaborate language and grammar and he introduces his particular vocabulary for weapons, magic objects, races and monsters, even a new language for his characters, just as Tolkien did - in this case, a mix of Latin, French and other languages to compound his particular universe.

Also, his novels are very, very long - like if they were printed, they would be really thick books. Another thing that must be said is that the novels are considered fantasy for teens, as he himself has defined them, but personally I’d say there are even maturer, for the amounts of darkness, cruelty, and sinister stuff dwelling in those pages would make most of teens feel bad - I felt bad, and hell, I’m not a softie when it comes to cruelty and darknes. I wrote Lilith’s Scepter lmao D:

Long story short, even it you can classify this novels as teen fantasy, there are other elements - gore, sci-fi, post-apocalyptic stuff - who made the plot more complex. In the end, every reader will have their vision and for that, I recommend you to review him in Goodreads and make him now - he’d enjoy it, for sure!

Now, let’s go to the plot. The Shadow Histories are placed in a nearly futurist England, after some apocalyptic events which almost doomed humanity. Starting the action in the author’s home, Chester, the main character is a 12-years-old girl named Codi Conmar, who has really special abilities from which she’s unaware. But after several events that will put her life in risk, after losing her parents and be tossed in the run for her life, she will discover those inner special skills in her and be aware she belongs to a special kind of human, a gifted individual, whose inner powers will be decisive to fight the darkness and their minions lurking on humanity and restart a latent fight, hidden during centuries for the public domain.

Creatures similar to demons, creatures similar to angels, and gifted superhuman individuals, just like her, will accompany her through this painful and challenging journey, just to discover she is not really a young teen, but that’s only an external appearance. She’s older, much older, and she’s powerful, much more powerful than expected, and she’s the only hope to her kind and all mankind actually. And now that responsibility lays on her shoulders.

The creativeness and originality of Murti when writing this story is non-limited. It much reminds me the style of His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman - another AMAZING teen fantasy you should read - but Murti is darker, and gorer, and terrifying. Murti’s creatures are born of a nightmare, they are brutal, they are horrid, they are merciless, they sent chills down your spine. 

I remember one passage, one atrocious passage that made me shiver - one of the main characters, a child by the way, falls into the hands of one of those evil creatures - Bella Grendelmor, by the way, such an amazing character - and his fate is far worse than death. I’m still shocked at the description of that scene… and without any gore. 

Also, the references to TRAOD storyline are everywhere. He actually wrote these stories BEFORE TRAOD, so it’s normal he later used some of the ideas you can find in his novels - and man, that’s so heartbreaking. You can see Kurtis’ powers in Codi’s skills, but also in the other character’s skills, you can see some traces of Putai and even Marie Cornel in Grandma Bee… and so on. I won’t tell more. 

I recommend these novels if you’re into this kind of genre - as a fan of Tolkien, Weis&Hickman, ASOIAF and the rest of epic fantasy since I was a child, I’m totally in. Just be prepared for the feels and the twisted imagination and tortuous ways of thiscreative, amazingly talented writer.

Finally, the first book is a bit hard to read and follow - nothing is given you for granted and you’ve to carve your way throught the plot, but the second one is definitely more enjoyable and easy to read.

So that’s all I can say, without actually ruining the mystery. Just remind you that these are only the two first parts, for he’s working already in the sequels. Be sure to check his website to find out more information - for he wants to write 6 volumes. 

I hope my little non-review is helpful to you :) I’ve enjoyed the reading, but honestly I still prefer TRAOD storyline because Lara… and Kurtis… and my feels. But they are a great work indeed. Let’s hope that, when he’s finished with these, he may write a TRAOD novel finally. He already knows we want it! :D

#the shadow histories #murti schofield #the empty land #the severed twin #and by traod storywriter and creator of kurtis #;D #my answers #literature #epic fantasy #Codi has FARSEE #i mean Codi has Kurtis powers for God's sake #and Granma Bee reminds me of my headcanon of Marie Cornel #the feels bro

[herotheshiro]

read ~32 ch of smurf’s world and yeah lol idk if i’ll be continuing. it’s not BAD per se, i think the plot of a money launderer + rich guy who “hires” him so he can escape his fam and life is interesting enough, but [spoilers for story after this]

1. kind of wish the author would discuss the laundering stuff more, although i’m under the impression they didn’t do much research into it before making it their main plot point based on the fact they barely talk about it. i mean imma be real idk wtf laundering is abt past the term but it’s seems like heavy finance stuff which if you’re not into then you’re not into but i like stories where authors just drop facts they clearly researched/googled ... i mean maybe they didn’t want to research it too much in case the police show up at their door being like ‘wtf you googling’ but idk i feel like the author introduces stuff like the laundering and fake dating contracts and then like forgets it as the main pair start falling for each other. which ok sure you want to focus on the romance but those previous plot devices being thrown to the side so easily just makes the whole manhwa look so weak ...

also the main pair’s attempt to hide their laundering scheme is so damn weak ... re: public image ik they reasoned it away as rich ppl being able to hide their tracks but they fucking visited an art gallery well KNOWN for laundering schemes ???? which is 1. totally crappy work on the main’s part for someone who supposedly is a “rising star in the money laundering scene” ... he should’ve done his research into diff galleries and also the fact that the love interest’s SISTER is involved in the art gallery world even though yes writing-wise it was just so the author could introduce her and 2. extremely suspicious for the love interest and also visiting that place with a total stranger who also gets photographed ??? i know the main apparently hides his internet/social trail well but that isn’t raising red flags for ppl ??? and apparently it’s a well-known rumor (idk maybe after this) that he’s laundering his fam’s business’s money ??? dude.

on a separate note, i’m surprised the ex didn’t just blurt out all the details abt main once he found out abt the main and love interest being seen together, but maybe he hid it to try to have an upper hand later ... EDIT: ok in hindsight he prob purposely didn’t reveal bc he knows the main is involved with laundering and it’s implied the main previous helped the ex out on that front so if he rats out the main then it’s gonna come back to bite him ... lmao ...

i mean maybe a lot of the stuff i take issue with will be brought up again later since i think there’s ~50ish total ch for their story but tbh not too interested in continuing with this grind

2. i like the main (brown hair) but i’m not too interested in the love interest ... his later developments of why he wants to escape his rich life/the sister being like ‘my brother isn’t in love with that guy not bc i’m homophobic per se but bc he doesn’t want to bring his lover into our kind of life’ were interesting but i don’t really feel that invested in him. also it made me smh when they had that scene of ‘oh i won’t force you to do whatever you don’t want to’ and then literally not even a ch or so later (prob 2 ch later, idr) the same guy who said that was like ‘i want to be intimate with you. don’t say no’ ... i was like bro. you can have a BL where you don’t have dubcon even if it is a very prevalent theme. anyway i like the main bc he’s a strong-willed character (those scenes where he’s like ‘fuck it i’ll go to prison’ and then later is like ‘fuck i was terrified but i had to bluff’ was good) but i think overall the character development is kind of weak.

like i get the main being scared of physical intimacy bc his ex was like ‘you’re scared of having sex with me? it’s bc you don’t like me enough fucker’ but then all of a sudden ‘uwah i’m totally fine with sex when it’s with this other person!’ ... it just don’t make sense. like even if you do like this new person more than the previous person AND the new person seems much more receptive to your desires, you don’t just drop your fear/anxiety that fast ...

anyway i also really like yoon (that’s the other main secretary woman the love interest has right) and was afraid the writer was gonna make her a later antagonist or something (either bc she secretly likes the love interest and is jealous of the main or just for kicks) but based on the dialogue and later episode preview images it looks like she doesn’t become evil and also ends up with the sister which like WHEW yoon deserves it.

//

i’ve seen the cover before but only finally checked it out after seeing some panels on IG recently and i like their other story season’s cafe for the most part (do not like the side pairing being set up there though which is what made me stop looking at the raws lol) ... but idk. it’s not that i can’t grind through to finish but i’m just not interested enough esp since now i suspect it’s gonna be focusing more on their relationship and related drama and i’m not that interested. based on the ch preview images, it looks like the ending is prob the love interest leaving his rich fam/life and living a “commoner” life with main which is cute but ... don’t care enough to grind through the inevitable drama.

i think the story could be tighter like having the main overarching plot being like ‘ok we gotta get this money into the love interest’s account’ and then having romance developments with that in the background but the laundering thing is barely there other than whenever they explicitly talk about it ... like i know most of the plot developments are BECAUSE of the laundering thing but i think it’s too much hidden ... like the early ‘we’re only connected bc of our illegal activity’ line was interesting but then boom they’re suddenly mutually interested in each other and we’re also ignoring that contract thing where main was like ‘you have to pay me if you touch me’ which was an interesting dynamic when it was presented in the first few ch ... like yes there were developments where they found something they liked abt the other so it’s not like them getting together is completely out of left field but idk. i think the pacing is too fast maybe. i think it was fine at first but around when the main pair got together i think that’s when i started being like ‘hmmm’

#reading

[survivorinternational]

Episode 1 - "You are an evil psychopath... but I kinda dig it." - Veni

STEPHENS BACK 

I love love how these tribes are split up but I’m kind of nervous about playing with people I’ve played other things with before! There was only one person I didn’t already have added and that is Daniel. I’m just going to try to stay on everyone’s good side and maybe try to get close with everyone? I think that we are going to have a strong tribe so that’s a plus! 

Israel is not in Europe

----------

So since this is "International" I decided to call everyone in our tribe be either their home country or town. So Clash is Richmond. Vilma is Oulu. Ginger is Israel. Allan is Scotland. I have yet to talk to Latvia but they appear as a very busy person. So it's Day 2 right now and I have just woken up. Me and Oulu stayed up 'till 6 AM last night just talking and chilling. I really like her so I hope we can make it far. I also like Richmond because that is a cool name so we established a 3-person group. Richmond insists on repeating F3 every 5 minutes which is pretty scary but I'll just disregard it for now. I am enjoying the diversity of our cast, proud to be a European seeing as the other tribes are basically just Australia and just USA. Right now I'll try to put some work into this flag I guess since nobody has taken initiative.

So its off to a relatively good start, I’ve talked with 3 other tribe members and they seem pretty cool, i got a good rapport with Tyler and Jacob especially. They also had good input into the challenge to so, yay. The other to however haven’t spoken, and we can’t blame time zones cause their like, at most an hour seperate. Be careful Sluggyg and Dylan, we lose a challenge we’ll be looking at you. I’m not gonna pm them first though, trying not to come off too needy yet, I’ll give at least some pretense of not being absolutely bonkers. 

Good lookin. Nah jk. So I have to admit I was a late bloomer in terms of speaking in the group chat and I conveniently missed the people I didn't know - Tyler, Dean. I have a history with Jacob and I know Michael from a previous community so I have hit the ground running with the idea of sticking together but nothings too solidified yet so hopefully in a bit I'll find myself in a majority! The only thing Stephen said to me so far is "heyo" and "ya I teach english", so.. 

Ok so Hi. I hate u all why am i here. Im nervous cause im out here trying not ti be the first boot and have to have my dog comfort me while i cry to sleep. Literally shaking in slides. Everyones a bit of a hoot, all male tribe! Wowee. Just going be pals with all these kiddies. Although the flag they made is literal trash, ill be nice :) 

hey boys time for my first confession that will be longer than it should be and not entertaining in the slightest so the cast reveal was interesting! i wasn’t expecting many familiar faces at all, maybe like one or two people i sort of know of. but when i saw ruthie and randy, i was honestly relieved. ruthie and i have always been good allies together in games and i love her a lot. she’s loyal and funny and smart. just overall wonderful person to play with and i’m really happy to have her here. also, seeing randy was so good too. honestly i know he has a ~rEp~ for being not the greatest, but i don’t particularly care. i feel like we’re going to get along really well in this game. the only thing that annoys me is that him talking to me at first was all like, “oh emily you’re so a good player i love you please don’t vote me out get me to merge xo” like he was purposefully inflating my ego because....... people generally think i have a big ego. and a year ago, yeah i definitely did. that’s why i lost both of my last two main season games. my ego got in the way and i got too confident, too cutthroat, too rude, too self absorbed. and so much has happened in my life, i’ve been taken down a few notches and the last thing i want is for people to think i’m a narcissist. i’ve worked on myself a lot and it’s just sad to see people treating me like this like they think it’ll guarantee me wanting to work with them. sigh. anyway, continuing with the other people: my skype app will NOT give me notifications when daniel or patrick send me messages and it’s frustrating me high key because they’ll respond two minutes after i send a message and i won’t see it for hours, even if i check the chat. new skype is ruining my social game yeah! but in general pat and daniel seem cool. only person i’m weary of is liana! i didn’t realize at first, but she’s married to chips who....... hates me LMAO! i’ve never played a game with her so here’s to hoping she doesn’t have an idea of me in her head already. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ other tribe comments: i saw vilma in a game for the first time like well over a year ago and was like i am in LOVE with her and i want to MARRY her. she’s so pretty and seems so funny and when we’re on the same tribe we WILL be best friends and if we’re not i’m THROWING HANDS!!! it has to happen. has to! i don’t think i recognizes literally anyone else? everyone is pretty much unfamiliar to me. so how i’m feeling right now: randy is really good at making flags! and confident that we’ll pull through with reward tbh. like he’s very talented. i’m gonna put together a makeshift flag too just in case it’s ugly and also to show that i’m active and here and contributing, but i doubt it’s going to be bad. and also it’s only reward! if we don’t win, i don’t mind it that much. my fear is that we end up going to tribal the first round! i don’t know how strong this tribe is in terms of challenges. i don’t know anything about liana, daniel, or patrick. i don’t remember anything about randy or ruthie when it comes to challenges either. so we’ll have to see! daniel told me he played on discord so he’s probably used to more text based challenges or flash games, which is very helpful because i’m bad at both. but from my experience, typical tumblr challenges are far different from typical discord challenges. yeah. also, randy and i shared our idol guesses and both found nothing. i went around camp -> shelter -> on top -> nothing and he went around camp -> treemail -> (uhhh something i already forgot lol) -> nothing. i’m gonna share mine with him every round as like a trust thing. idk if he’ll tell me the truth but i’ll tell him the truth! idc honestly! :p okay end of this long confession i hope you had fun reading if you read this far give me an idol clue xoxo emily (dennis remember in mongolia when i told you the exile idol was under a girl’s name) (i’m sorry) 

So the reward challenge is a flag making challenge. I hate a lot of the things, but I am taking a step back since I have been told I can be controlling in the tribe stages when it comes to challenges. So I want to see how well the tribe performs without me stepping in. 

Day one thoughs: Yes!!! A tribe full of people with similar time zones. Jacob and Sluggy are here, nice. UHC alliance has already been suggested... not sure how to feel. Talked to all other tribe members. Everyone seems nice... dont quite trust Tyler yet... seems shifty Reward challenge: Not a fan of original design. Spent a bit of time working on another design... which i had more time to make it better. Seems to be good enough, will see what tribe says. Idol search round one: nothing

me: so yeah just send me your image so I can do all the work and make the flag everyone: (by the way these confessionals will be over the top and not express my true true  feelings, i.e. I'm exaggerating everything)

----------

The plan is to kill people with kindness! I really don't plan on winning but i'd love to if I am able to. I just hope I stay long enough to talk to most. My two closest friends are Richmond and Oulu. Oulu is super nice and we talk often so that is cool ----------

Oh lord I am actually exuding so much time in this survivor good thing it is summer geez 

----------

Ginger spoiled 2 survivor seasons in the same message I am crying :(

So i finally got to talk to everyone on the tribe. Tyler seems rlly friendly and talkative which kinda draws me towards him. Stephen is more analytical and observant... Dean is just the passive, looks on and watches kinda guy. Both Stephen and Dean want to be or are writers so. One thing great about working with Stephen would be someone people target as a strategic threat instead of me - but I don't know if I'll be able to work well with him atm... 

Okay I was gonna wait until after the immunity challenge to do my first confessional but I am DYING. So Veni is making our flag (which honestly I'm not too sure about but I'm awful at art so I can't really say anything) and he asks for pictures to use in it. So I send him a picture of me sitting on a throne, which I took at a bar near me. and this bitch..... Goes "It's like ghetto Game of Thrones, I love it!" BITCH!? Ghetto? Honestly this guy needs to take it down a notch because he's trying way too hard to take control of the reward challenge and is being super bossy and I think people aren't gonna take that for much longer. 

As for the first day of this season I’m loving it so far. Loving the activity and positivity in our tribe and people here are very friendly. Already have started conversation with Clash, Vilma and Ginger. Trying to develop early relationships that will be necessary for the rest of the game. Just need to show activity in tribe chat so my tribe mates not see me as an inactive player because inactive players are usually the first one out. 

So we won the reward challenge and we get a firemaking kit, and inside there's an immunity idol clue. Jacob and Stephen both get it, and Jacob told me it was hidden at the beach. I have no clue if he is lying or not, but if he isn't it means God was right to tell me yesterday that it is at the beach. Now i just need to be the first one to search the next time around. 

----------

So talking with Stephen, he seems to say the word "snazzy" a lot, so I've nocknemaed 

----------

Oops i didn't finish...I nicknamed him "snazzy Stephen". What's Snazzy Stephen gonna call snazzy today!?

So we won the reward challenge! Great. The morale seems fairly high amongst our tribe. I've had conversations with pretty much everyone in some way. No talk of strategy or alliances have begun, from what I'm aware. I hope we win this challenge, because I feel good about this tribe. 

I mean, can I not flop this first challenge ? I feel like this tribe is a very good mix of people, chemistry is there so now we just need not to be total failures ! hehe 

After all the bonding I love this tribe, Dean is a lot more reserved than the rest of the tribe and hasn't approached me yet, but everyone else has talked. I've got a nice alliance with Michael and Sluggy, as well as some trust with Tyler and Stephen. After Michael won us the firemaking challenge I found the idol clue. Once everyone has used their firemaking advantage, I'll decide who I share the clue with. So far I have told Sluggy and then Stephen got the clue. All Giraffes Deserve Kisses.

Usually I wouldn’t mind going to the first tribal, but with 6 people all it takes is one misstep to be the target, and I don’t want to risk that. That being said if it does come down to that i think Jacob, Tyler and I will stick together, all we need is one more than that. 

looking over the whole cast, I realised I know Dani & Sluggy from other survivors that's cool

----------

I got 30 point something seconds like 3 times I hate fairdyne

So basically I've talking quite a bit with Emily and Randy, they're great people. Overall people are super nice, it's awesome! The Ala Mai flag winning is bullshit though what kind of judges were those? I'd have been fine with Faatasi winning, that's a nice flag, but Ala Mai's was ugly af sorry bros 

So, Emily and I are working together to try to find the idol! Which is exciting, hopefully one of us will find it. If I do I’m pretty sure I’ll tell her because it will show that I trust her?!! I talk to her and Randy the most on our tribe and I really don’t know where I stand with everyone else

----------

i got a big fat 0 for the team but I’m glad our tribe won! Everyone else did great.  Hopefully no one points out how weak I was in the challenge. I’m going to savannah for the night tomorrow so I’m glad not to worry about tribal council while I’m out of town! Yay for not being the first boot!

ok see I am here to win but I got ginger on my tribe!! we love us a good ol rival so yeah even though he's acting fake and said he wants work with me I can't trust him with that I have built a good connection with Veni and Vilma and hope they will stay loyal as well. I am worried about the tribal as my score was bad but lets hope for the best 

Right. So we’ve just won the immunity challenge but all the rats on my team did well so it doesn’t give us an easy target for any upcoming tribals. I got some T from Michael letting me know that both Jacob and Dean found the clue to the hidden immunity idol and they told him but not me. First off rude considering I told Jacob I’d tell him if I found it. I’m in an uncomfortable situation already on this tribe, I feel like i don’t have as strong of connections as everyone else and it’s scaring me. All I need is two friends to guarantee my safety and it’s looking like those friends will be Michael and The kid from Singapore (don’t remember his name oops). This season feels different, I usually feel powerful but Rn I feel like I’m having to push to navigate my way into relationships with people. Also some of these guys on my drive give off the arrogant and cocky vibe and I hate it. 

Only one in my tribe to win a challenge, got the r/ultrahardcore alliance, everyone knows the idol clue because Michael got looser lips than Mia Khalifa.

I *think* we're voting Emils? I mean he's been the least active and from I've been told he has not talked to people much (including me) so. I hope it goes well. Usually I am pretty calm in the survivors I play but goddamn I am paranoid. Maybe since I am enjoying myself so much so I don't want to go yet? 

----------

Logically I won't be voted out here, right? I've talked to basically everyone a fair bit, I did the whole flag and I got 2/2 possible points. I'm safe.. right? 

----------

Here is veni's power rankings of the people in my tribe: 1. Oulu 2. Tel Aviv 3. Richmond 4. Allan 5. Emils 

----------

So I re-read my Fairy Survivor S2 stuff I wrote pre-game and goddamn if I am not a broken record. I am basically doing the same thing this time I love it lol. I do hope the experience I got in the year and a half between those has taught me valuable lessons. 

----------

Tel Aviv has really high gamesense and sense of strategy. We both discussed how important it is to have that one loyal person to win. I hope he implies I am his. For me it's Oulu I think

Okay so the first round is almost over. Thankfully my tribe was able to win immunity because I am not ready for tribal that's for sure! These small tribes freak me out. But...if we do end up going to tribal I am ready because I FOUND AN IDOL! I'm a little skeptical because it was way too easy and so I'm scared everyone has an idol but we shall see. I'm really terrible at games in the beginning because I hate awkward small talk so I was definitely scared of tribal. I'm not in any alliances yet but hopefully that is because it is still early. I'm trying to prove myself an asset and I was glad I did great at that shark game. It was very challenging to play because I had my baby smashing my keyboard or mouse and closing out of the game in the middle of playing, ahhaha. 

Day 2: Won Reward challenge!! WOOT!! All that effort wasn't for naught. The /r/ultrahardcore alliance was made between Sluggy, Jacob and myself... Im not sure how I feel about this. Immunity challenge announced, Flash games while I'm at work. FUCK FLAPPY BIRD I can do this Hextris and Shark game... I will submit one of these. Fire lighting challenge, I fail at striking a light. Sluggy and Jacob tell me that Jacob has an Idol Clue, it is apparently on the beach. Continue my chats with everyone. Dean also tells me about the Idol clue, either its on the beach and people trust me or there is an alliance that is fabricating stories. Work out everyone but Tyler knows about the clue so I tell him Gained Tyler's trust End day 2 Day 3: We win Immunity, YES!!! I spent the day continuing to build relationships. Mention to Jacob the Tyler doesnt think he likes him and to win Tyler's trust Jacob told Tyler about the clue, but it seems to only further distrust as he waited so long to tell him about it. This could have made Tyler distrust me more as well... Working with Jacob could be dangerous down the line. /r/UHC needs a 4th... Dean and Tyler's names are suggested. Trash talk hosts in tribe chat all day. Im worried my chattiness may put a target on my back, will need to be careful. End Day 3 

I’m loving my tribe and our female avatar presence. Whoever is rob Mariano I kind of want to vote out though. I’m super glad we won immunity and I don’t have to try super hard to be chatty. Loving the format so far 

HI I'M VILMA AND I'M VERY EXCITED TO PLAY I also suck at making confessionals because they take a lot of effort for my Finnish speaking ass so I like to just copy bits from my host chat, be prepared Right off the bat I was confused because I didn't get cast with anyone I would've played with before. I recognized a few familiar faces but most people I have no frame of reference for. This meant I couldn't rely on riding with any pre game relationships and I had to actually socialize with people. Thank god we didn't have a one world phase this time around so I only had to keep up with five other people! Clash playing hard right off the bat I specced his season so I know he was a big moves type of guy haha I wanna make sure I'm on his good side My tribe is very active But I'm Very Scared Of The Zwooper People They tend to be crazy And I'm not about that crazy life at all I CAN'T EVEN WITH VENI WHERE DOES HE GET ALL HIS JOKES FROM I LOVE HIM Alright I think Veni and I are the only ones left awake And He is my favorite I've talked to everyone except the Latvian guy or was he Lithuanian THE BALTIC GUY Ginger and Clash both seem like people I need to be wary of Power players for sure, and good socially And according to Clash they have bad blood from previous games So I can see them targetting each other if we go to tribal And Clash already made a three way alliance between myself him and Veni Which I'm okay with, as of now Veni I definitely want to work with And I prefer staying on good terms with Clash Allan I have neutral feelings towards, only talked to him a bit so far But I stan the Europe tribe I just can't keep up with multiple convos at once so it's been super confusing Already shared my idol guesses with Veni and Clash I think I'm the only girl on my tribe Not a big fan of that fact Really wanted to play with Emily I hope we both make it to a swap so I could meet her Chatting with these people I've started to realize how much I abuse caps lock and exclamation points It's a really bad habit Should probably tone it down, everyone must be thinking I'm screaming at them constantly I'm playing so different compared to how I usually play I usually never initiate convos And try to step up as little as possible While still being friendly with everyone But now I've been very social It's weird Feels like I'm harassing everyone ... Unfortunately, we lost the first immunity challenge ... YIKES I'M GOING TO BE THE FIRST BOOT CALLING IT NOW HOW TF DID THEY GET 6 MILLION I think Emils might be the target Which I'm okay with since he seems to only be online a bit in the evenings Everyone knows I hate losing challenges so I want active people He seems really nice though, but seems like everyone has talked to him the least Clash told me that him and Ginger have decided to leave their past behind so I guess they're not going to target each other just yet I'm glad he's telling me this though it makes me trust him a bit more But I'll still keep my eye on both of them _ Ok hi I'm checking in about an hour before tribal and as far as I know Emils should be going home tonight. It's been super quiet around camp though and it makes me feel paranoid, but I hope it'll be an easy first vote. Veni wants me to make a chat with him and Ginger so we could solidify we make it through next round if we end up having to go to tribal again. My issue is I think Clash and Ginger are closer than they seem and I'm scared if we made a chat without Clash and he found out about it he could become angry. That's why i'd rather it to be a four-way chat between me, Veni, Clash and Ginger but we shall see what happens in the next few hours I guess.

Okay that went perfectly. Ngl when Ginger was like "someone doesn't know it's them tonight" I FREAKED. Then my name gets written down at tribal and I was like ????. I mean luckily it wasn't me but god that was scary. I really hope we win this next immunity I can't deal with that stress rn lmao. I also have no clue who I'd vote out. Also in other news, Chase is cute af! I'm gonna be so embarrassed when he leaves and is able to read this but it's true. I definitely wanna keep him around for a bit lmao. 

jesus christ ginger you are an evil psychopath.. but I kinda dig it

----------

also I am mostly done with location based names.. for now