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homeless202 · 7 months

Note

I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~

I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?

first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question

i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.

TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)

deep dive under the cut as to why

-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?

i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.

-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?

this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.

when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.

think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.

and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).

-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??

this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).

what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)

they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.

...however...

this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)

and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):

so...

<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.

since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)

he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.

<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).

with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)

see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T

to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)

note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.

note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.

-> Romance in No Home?

another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.

from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk

when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.

exhibit A:

HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.

exhibit B:

here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.

exhibit C:

this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-> what do i think?

first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).

as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.

there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.

technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)

<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.

all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.

#ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU ARE DELULU ENOUGH!! THAT'S HOW SHIPPING WORKS IN GENERAL. IN EVERY FANDOM.#anon. this shit fried my head. it 3.30am and my brain is not braining anymore. i love analyzing these two but goddamn is it HARD.#THERE'S SO MUCH NUANCE TO EVERY INTERACTION THEY HAVE *cry*#life's been hectic and this question demanded i sit down in 7 different sittings to get everything written down. hence why it took me a bit #i tried to write down all my thoughts and i don't think i managed. but i hope what i have here makes sense.#and i also hope i actually answered ur question. i feel like i got side-tracked and possibly missed the target.#no home #no home manhwa #eunyung baek #haejoon goh #ey hj parallels #meta #집이 없어 #webtoon #god u guys have no idea how many times while reading i was like 'omg they're gonna kiss omg pls do'#only to keep reading and going like 'hoLY FUCK PLS DO *NOT*!! get away from him omfg!!'#the whiplash was fucking unreal. i remember honest to god SOBBING at 4am every time they fought <- that first time read was rough #also! if you agree/disagree/want to correct me or just talk about the topic i'm open to discussion/criticism. (just pls be nice abt it ><)#my ask box is open <3

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jimmys-zeppelin · 8 months

Text

moonbeam

ch. v

table of contents

may 14, 1998

Sabrina entered Clarence’s with a food-full plastic bag in her hand. Lunch. And she was starving.

There were still a few finishing touches she had to put on the second of Jimmy’s three suits. She wouldn’t be done with the third until Sunday at the least. Luckily, she had peace of mind in knowing he would only need one of the suits for his trip. She debated giving him a call about the status of his garments…

Perhaps it would be too much.

But he said to call, her mind urged her.

“Fuck this,” Sabrina muttered to herself. Upon entering her office, the silence was serene. The tinny Lionel Richie playing inside the store was muffled behind the makeshift partition and she hummed along to All Night Long as she unpacked her Chinese takeaway. A few loud steps boomed up the creaky staircase—footsteps she knew well as Daniel’s—and soon his tall, lanky figure appeared into the office.

She muttered a ‘hello’ to him while taking her seat at her desk. Daniel did the same, waving to her with similar regard. He had propped open a book and smacked a piece of gum between his teeth. Fresh out of university, Daniel had a degree in Textiles; something Sabrina had no idea was a possible degree path.

The irony of the situation was that he was apprenticing under her. It gave Sabrina a silly boost to her ego.

She split her chopsticks and cracked open her Coke before she began to dig in. Not halfway into her first mouthful of chicken fried rice, Daniel slapped his book shut and an uncomfortable silence fell over them.

"I heard Jimmy Page was in for a fitting?" he asked.

Sabrina froze, slowly finishing her mouthful of food while the sound of her heart pounded throughout her entire body.

She gulped, "Yeah...last week."

"Fuck. Right when I catch a cold. How was he? What did he get?"

"Three suits. I've finished two of them."

"Seriously?" he exclaimed.

"Dunno why everyone's shitting themselves about this guy. He's just a normal bloke. Very nice." And kinda hot...

"Sab, I know you like the Spice Girls and that George Michael fruit but this guy was huge back in the day. I wonder why he'd even come to our store to be fitted."

"My dad and brother buzz off rock music so I know who he is, but he's a normal person. And he's a regular here, comes at least once every week or so. Guess he likes the savings," Sabrina shrugged.

Daniel's eyebrows furrowed, "How come I've never seen him?"

"Just unlucky, I guess," she teased, a grin spreading over her face. "I gave him your card, though. Mine hadn't come in yet so I put in a good word for you."

Excitement shone through his eyes, seemingly jumping for joy while stationed in his seat, "I could kiss you right now, Sab," then paused to think. "Did he leave his number?"

"Yeah, but I'd have to find the note I made with it."

A partial lie. Sabrina had written his number into her files for safekeeping, but she had left his receipt at her flat. She could practically see it laying beside her phone, the numbers begging to be dialed and given a chance.

"When you do, I wanna call to tell him the suits are ready," Daniel stood.

Sabrina guffawed, "Why would I let you call when I've done all the work?"

"Sab, what if he answers? It'd be an honor to tell him his suits are ready to be picked up."

"You sound like my brother right now," she chuckled. "He was practically on his knees asking for Jimmy's phone number after I told him."

"Please," he begged. He stepped closer to Sabrina's desk, picking one of the three fortune cookies she'd gotten with her meal.

“No,” she answered, “When you get your own famous client, then you can call them whenever you want.”

☽

The dial tone droned through the phone's receiver. Sabrina fought with herself over whether or not to press the final number to Jimmy's phone number. A sudden impulse decision made her press the number and soon the phone began to ring.

As her palms became increasingly sweatier, Sabrina could only imagine the conversation ahead. What would he say? How would he say it? What would she say? Suddenly, she felt transported back to her secondary school days when calling her crush's phone number. Then, she felt dumb.

She shook the anxiety from her mind and when the last ring was about to complete itself, the line clicked, "Hello?" his gentle voice said through the phone. Sabrina felt her heart melt just a little inside.

"Hi, this is Sabrina from Clarence's. Is this Jimmy?" Sabrina said the message as she normally would have to a normal customer. But she and Jimmy knew that he was anything but a normal customer and their interactions were anything but normal.

"Hi, Sabrina. This is Jimmy, yes. How are you?" Jimmy asked.

Sabrina smiled to herself, a step shy of giggling into the phone. "Good, thank you. And yourself?"

"Much better now," he paused to exhale amusedly. "Are you calling about the suits?"

"Yes, actually. The black and blue suits are ready for pickup, but the green one will have to wait until Sunday. I know you said you only needed one ready for today, but I tried my best to have all of them ready for you."

"That's quite alright, Sabrina. Shall I stop by this afternoon to pick them up?"

"That would be splendid, Jimmy."

Splendid?

"And will I have the honor of seeing you? I like to thank my tailors personally after I've seen their handiwork."

Sabrina felt her heart race in her chest when he spoke, "I'll be here until four as usual."

Jimmy paused for what seemed like a check of his watch. "I should get going then..." he chuckled. "I'll have someone come pick me up and I should be there soon."

"Sounds good," she paused for a beat, "People are buzzing about your appearance last week. I just spoke with Daniel over lunch and he was very upset to have missed you."

"Maybe he can alter some other piece of clothing I should buy and he can make my acquaintance. But I think I'm set on who I have altering my clothes now."

"Oh really? Who would that be, then?"

Jimmy laughed softly, "You, of course, darling."

"Oh—" Sabrina started, overcome with a short wave of shock at his response. "You haven't even seen my work yet and you're already praising it."

"You do a great job as a cashier. And you are head of alterations, aren't you?"

"That doesn't have anything to do with the work I do—"

"It has everything to do with it," Jimmy answered enthusiastically. "Listen, I'll be there in an hour. Can you wait for me?"

Daniel's footsteps came up the stairs once again. Sabrina was relieved the conversation had been coming to an end when he entered through the curtain. He furrowed his brow and signaled the phone with his fingers, silently asking who she was talking to.

"Of course I can wait, Jimmy," she said.

"Jimmy Page?” Daniel whispered loudly, nearly jumping for joy at the prospect. Sabrina nodded, turning away from him so as not to distract from her conversation.

"Beautiful...I'll see you, Sabrina."

Her heart fluttered, "Bye, Jimmy," she said. Upon placing the phone back onto the receiver, Sabrina let out a deep sigh, collapsing herself onto the desk.

“Not fair,” Daniel complained. He let out a distressed sigh before continuing, "I need your help with a customer. Are you busy?"

☽

Sabrina stood outside in the back alleyway of Clarence’s with Conner as he puffed on a cigarette. This was their usual ritual during the warmer months when she needed an additional moment away from the cash register or sewing machine. Conner didn’t mind, he enjoyed the extra bit of conversation while not being under the managerial watchful eye. She had had no qualms about the hobby itself, but the stench of the tobacco brought back nauseating memories.

Yet, despite this, she held an unlit cigarette between her fingers to further cast the illusion that she was on a “smoke break”.

"Why are you stood out here with me again?" Conner asked, not minding Sabrina as he flicked his bright green Bic.

The weather was too warm to be with a sweater, yet too cool to comfortably be without one. Sabrina rocked back and forth on her heels waiting to see if Jimmy's car would approach; an attempt at raising her body heat.

"Needed the fresh air,” she answered.

"You're second-hand smoking off me, Sab."

"Yeah, you should really kick that habit..." she said mindlessly, still stretching her neck to peer out into the quiet street. She rolled the cigarette between her fingers nervously.

"Why? So we can stand here and look like a couple of drug dealers?" Conner laughed, inhaling and blowing the air away from Sabrina's face, only for the wind to blow it back in her direction.

Sabrina rolled her eyes, "It's not good for you. Anyway, I'm headed back in; I'm starting to get cold out here."

"Is Jimmy coming back today?" Conner teased. "I heard Daniel talking shit earlier."

"About me?" Sabrina asked with a laugh. To his nod she said, "He's just jealous because he's the one who wants to be face deep in Jimmy's crotch."

"You say that like you weren't absolutely drooling all over him the other day."

"I wasn't!" Sabrina shot back. "If anything, Jimmy's the one flirting with me."

Conner hummed in disagreement, "I think you like the older ones and don't realize it, Sab. Just be careful. Men like him have whole mausoleums in their wardrobes. And those skeletons are dusty..." he said, taking another drag of his cigarette.

"How would you know?"

"You just know, Sabrina," he insisted. "What time is it?"

She checked the time on her watch, "Nearly four. Jimmy's probably here already. I'll catch you inside,” she said, passing Conner back his cigarette.

"Later," he replied, watching as Sabrina headed back out into the street to enter back into Clarence's through the front.

Sabrina was barely in the door when she heard someone call her name from the sidewalk. Jimmy, with his hands deep in his pockets, started on a light jog so as to approach her faster.

"Glad I caught you," he smiled, the corners of his eyes scrunching so all she could see were his pupils. He held the door for her as they entered back into the store; the regulated temperature bringing Sabrina some relief.

"I thought I had nearly missed you," Sabrina replied. "I was just in the back for a little bit. Taking in some outside air."

"Long day?"

"It's been alright. Nothing too bad," She began leading him back up into the fitting area. They bypassed her coworkers who seemed not to notice Jimmy—at least for the time being.

Jimmy's suits were hung in a changing booth where Sabrina had gone to retrieve them. She gave the zipped up bags a good pat before coming into the main area. "Do you want to take a look?"

He shook his head and reached out to Sabrina for the bags that nearly matched her height. They looked much smaller in his grasp. "I trust you."

"Do you?" She teased.

Jimmy took a deep breath, his exhale making it obvious he was holding back a laugh.

"Come on, Jimmy, I just want to see if you like them."

"I'm sure I will, Sabrina."

"Please," Sabrina countered. She batted her eyelids so as to draw a laugh from him. This time she broke through, once again getting the chance to see the delicate crow's feet bunch up by his eyes and to see the shake of his head as he couldn't believe she’d gotten him. It was only then that she noted his cologne again. The combination of it with the smell of the leather jacket he wore was sure to stir up any woman's interest.

He grimaced a bit at her begging, still sure (as he had said) that her work would have been to the quality that he had expected. But just to give her the satisfaction, Jimmy unzipped the bag and examined the navy colored suit coat and eyed it meticulously.

"Just as I thought. Wonderful work, Sabrina."

Sabrina nodded. "Thank you," she paused, "You can, uhm, you can call me Sab—if you want. All my friends call me Sab." she cringed as the words left her mouth, though, couldn't reverse them now.

"Sab," Jimmy replied, testing out how the name sounded on his lips. He played with the 'B' at the end for a moment, saying her name in full before fixing his gaze back onto her.

"You got it out of your system?" she smiled.

"I'm only teasing. I'll keep that in mind."

"Have you got any nicknames?" she asked.

"Just Jimmy. My full name's James."

"That rhymes," Sabrina chuckled. "Anyone call you Jim?"

"Not anyone that I like," he answered, his eyes firmly on hers the entire time, occasionally glancing away to map out the features of her face. She knew he had spotted not only the dark circles beneath her eyes, but also the smile lines that her mother nagged her about on a consistent basis. Jimmy held an amused look in his eyes, like he wanted to say something he couldn't.

Sabrina felt that she was unable to look away from him. His face seemed to have so much to offer her: dimpled cheeks further made charming by the combination of time and weight; Adam's apple bobbing as he took in steady breaths; the soft curl of his hair swiping his forehead like an older Superman trying hard to retain his image. All combined, she simply couldn't peel her eyes off him.

"Alright then," Sabrina said, "So you're happy with the suits? They'll serve you adequately for your time in America?"

"Absolutely. Thank you very much, Sab," he replied, nudging her with his elbow.

"You're very welcome. And since you've paid, you're free to go," she said, using her heels to begin rocking back and forth again.

"Alright, so I'll see you around then. I'll come get the last suit when I come back."

Sabrina nodded, "Safe travels, Jimmy."

He gave her a small smile and nodded. Jimmy's hand came out to touch her shoulder and it was as if all the cells in her body froze. Her breath hitched softly, then was a soft squeeze of his hand. Seconds later, he was gone again, and Sabrina watched as he trotted down the steps. She didn’t move a single muscle until well after she heard the jingling bells of the front door, signifying Jimmy’s exit.

☽

Later, Sabrina had come to find out that Jimmy had left her an extra hundred pounds as gratuity at the register. Much to her dismay, she pocketed it on her way out the door. A fleeting thought entered her mind that she should give him a call and reprimand him for his tip.

Then she debated if it was even worth it. She didn't want to make it seem as if she was too comfortable around him. After all, she barely knew him. That wasn’t to say she wasn't against getting to know him better.

The Northern line train rumbled along its tracks and Sabrina idly watched as people engaged in a myriad of activities. One woman sat with her nose in a book, her presumed son seated beside her, beating the living shit out of his Gameboy. Another man stoically read his Wembley Observer; the front page reading "Bid to Oust Tory Chief", something Sabrina would have to ask her father about later on.

She was nearly asleep on the train up to Brent Cross. Her mother had insisted she come for dinner as she had cooked extra and "wanted her daughter back home", if only for one night. Sabrina couldn't deny that a home cooked meal would do her some good. She could barely fry an egg without setting her flat ablaze so she was stuck with shoddy sandwiches and cheap takeout.

The train slowed to a stop at Brent Cross station, the tiled signs becoming clearer with each passing moment. Sabrina barely wasted a second following the opening of the doors before she was on the platform and weaving through the corridors she grew to know so well.

Her father's red Volkswagen flashed its lights at her upon her exiting the station. Sabrina made a quick approach to the car, entering the vehicle to see her father's outstretched arms.

Granting him the hug, Sabrina's father hummed contentedly. "Always great to receive a hug from your child. How are you Beanie?"

"No longer a child, that's for sure, Dad," Sabrina chuckled. "Where's Zach?" she asked as the car backed away from its spot.

"Home. Your mum needed help with something or other..." he trailed off, forgetting just why Zachary had stayed at home. He waved off the question. "You been alright, dear?"

Sabrina nodded, answering, "Everything's...going."

"Your mother worries about you being in that flat all alone. I tell her you'll be fine, but of course I worry about you, too, darling."

A pang of muted annoyance hit her, but she knew he had a good point. Nonetheless, she had to dispel their worries.

"I think I might get back into dating soon...maybe I'll have someone to keep me even more safe,” she lied.

"Oh, don't tell your mother," her father breathed a laugh, "She'll ask too many questions. Plus she's still holding out hope for Shaun..." he trailed off.

Sabrina scoffed. “What for?”

“Oh, come on, Beanie. You were together so long. Don’t tell me he’s dead to you already.”

That and more. “Shaun’s a prick,” she said, unable to hold back.

There was a tsk of his tongue, "Don't say that."

It was much quieter following the stunted conversation point about Shaun. Sabrina knew that what he had done didn't deserve her forgiveness; not for a very long time. There was no way her parents would understand his actions, either. This all left her in even more of a dilemma with her "beloved" ex-boyfriend.

"Heard any good music lately?" Sabrina tried. They were nearly home free, the familiar turns of the streets she had spent her childhood and teenage years on started to flood her mind with memories.

"Just my old eight-tracks. Stones, Clapton, this, that, the other. You?"

"I don't know," Sabrina trailed off, "Not much besides the radio playing at work. CD's, the like." She shrugged.

"Oh, I have a CD you may like. Remind me to get it for you before you leave," his fingers tapped at the steering wheel in time to the bass of the song playing quietly on the radio. They pulled into the driveway.

"Yeah? Who?"

"George Michael. I picked it up 'cause it looked interesting and it was quite good. Think you'll like it."

“What’s it called?” she asked, hoping the disc wouldn’t be one she already had in her collection.

“Something like Star Girl or what have you…it’s only got a few songs on it. But it has that song you like on it, Everything She Wants. An acoustic version of it.”

Excitement filled Sabrina’s chest. She had been putting off buying the Star People ‘97 single mostly because of her inability to justify the purchase. But she had also been unable to buy it because she could never find it in any shops near her. It was a wonder how her father had managed to encounter it in the tiny shops of Brent Cross. She would interrogate further once she had the disc in her hands.

As the two entered Sabrina's childhood home, the look and feel of the place always gave her an indescribable blast from the past. The wallpapered walls were the same as the ones that littered the backgrounds of hers and Zachary's childhood photos.

The shag carpet had been freshly hoovered—meaning shoes were forbidden until the carpet was trampled over again—the colors remained the very same, if not a bit faded from time. Sabrina gripped at the long carpet with her socks just as she had many-a-time in her teenage years when being lectured at dinner.

She could already tell this visit home wasn’t going to be the relaxing break from reality she was hoping. There was something in the air. And Sabrina didn’t like it one bit.

Everyone managed pleasantries as usual, but once around the table, the atmosphere made Sabrina more uneasy.

The clinking of silverware on ceramic put Sabrina’s nerves on edge and the usual delicious smell of Yorkshire pudding was rancid in her nostrils.

"David, did you get the radishes at the market like I asked you to?" Her mother, Georgia, asked.

The adult children very well knew the answer to the question. The two merely exchanged glances, hoping to god they would be spared from a passive aggressive discussion between their parents.

David looked up from his plate. He pretended a pondering look before looking regrettably at his wife, "Sorry George, I forgot," he swallowed, "Was so excited to see our Beanie that it slipped my mind."

Sabrina's mother fixed her gaze to her instead, "Sabrina, you'll never guess who I spoke to this week."

She broke off a piece of Yorkshire pudding and thought through all the people she could have possibly spoken to. She came up empty. "Hm?"

Zachary's foot nudged Sabrina's beneath the table. The knowing look he gave her made her heart sink into the pit of her stomach. Her expression turned in an instant.

"Shaun called this week," Georgia quipped excitedly, "Don't make that face! He said he wishes you both left off on a better note."

"Mum—" Sabrina started.

"Plus, he was so keen on proposing! And you went and clipped his wings, darling. He was so upset, the poor thing."

Finding that she couldn't possibly muster a response, Sabrina stared idly back at her mother.

"Say something, dear, don't just stare at me all bug-eyed."

"I haven't quite come to terms with him myself, Mum. I still need to do some personal reflection," Sabrina answered as calmly as she could manage.

"What does that even mean?" she threw her hands up. "I invited him for dinner on Sunday. I'd better hope you'll be in attendance."

Sabrina took another beat. "I'll have to politely decline. I'm busy this Sunday."

"Oh—" Georgia said. "You'll be missed, then."

"Sab, can you pass the mash, please?" Zachary mumbled. Without a word, she obliged, transferring the heavy bowl to her brother's hands.

The buzzing in her pocket diverted Sabrina's attention. She furrowed her brow, angling herself in her seat to better retrieve her phone from her jeans. "Sorry," she said.

Jimmy Page — mobile flashed on the screen back at her. Sabrina blinked once, then twice. The name didn't budge. Eventually she stared long enough that the call dropped. It was only then that she heard her heart pounding in her ears and felt the heat rising to her cheeks.

She wondered what Jimmy could have possibly wanted from her at this hour...

“Everything okay?” her father asked.

Sabrina couldn’t help a stammer. "Sorry, it was—uhm—a colleague."

"You're red as a tomato…quite some colleague," Zachary chuckled. Sabrina kicked him beneath the table and quickly put her cell phone back into her pocket. She reached for her glass of water, downing the rest of the liquid as the rest of the table sat in silence.

The feeling of her cell phone in her pocket was now an unwelcome intrusion. Conversation carried on between Sabrina’s family as she idly sat there. Stewing.

The assumption of Sabrina’s mother that she would be enthusiastic about dinner with Shaun followed by the unsolicited call from Jimmy was the one-two punch she didn’t know would be coming her way that evening. Perhaps this was the horrible sick-to-her-stomach feeling that had welcomed her into her parent’s home just half an hour earlier.

“Excuse me,” Sabrina said suddenly. Her feet carried her up the stairs, muscle memory guiding her back to her lilac and white striped bedroom. She swung the door closed, not quite slamming it, but pushing it hard enough that the door easily clicked into place.

“God,” she exhaled, letting her breath go as if she had been holding it in for much too long. Her face was hot and she pushed her thick, dark hair out away from her eyes. Her vision clouded over and she let herself go for long enough that her cheeks became streaked with tears. She wiped them away quickly, not fully allowing herself to have the moment she so desperately needed in light of her mother’s insensitivity.

Sabrina looked around her childhood bedroom, turning so she could reach for the sticker-laden light switch. The wallpaper that had been cut around it had been peeling for fifteen years, the yellowing beginning only recently. The warm glow of the yellow light placed Sabrina back into the mid-80s. The Raggedy Ann doll on her bed, the gargantuan Wham! poster on the wall above her headboard, and finally, her vanity. Looking at it now, she kind of wanted to take it back to her flat with her. The vanity that once held dozens of perfume bottles and all sorts of makeup products was now so empty it looked out of place in her old bedroom.

She sat on the pink suede-cushioned stool, crossing one leg over the other and holding her face in her hands. Her breath was the only sound she focused on for a long while. The steadiness brought her back to a better sense of calm. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket; an attempt to better examine what had just happened.

MISSED CALL

Jimmy Page — mobile

CALL BACK | EXIT

“Why the fuck…?” Sabrina whispered to herself. Her fingers ghosted between the arrow keys of “Call Back” and “EXIT” and considered calling him back before nervousness got the better of her and she clicked away from the pop-up.

Footsteps became louder as they squeaked up the staircase, nearer and nearer to her bedroom. Silence. Then, “Sab?” Zachary’s muffled voice came through the door. “You alright?”

In a rush, Sabrina stood and shoved her phone back into her pocket. “Yeah!” she exclaimed all too loud, “I’m—I just needed a minute.”

The door opened without so much as a knock, “I told her not to say anything about Shaun, that you wouldn’t—”

“It’s okay, Zach. It’s my fault I haven’t told her what happened yet.”

“Well, yeah, but you shouldn't have to. It’s over, she shouldn’t keep pestering you about him.”

Sabrina sighed, “I know. I know…”

There was a lull, Zachary staring at the floor, not wanting to ask, but desperately wanting to know…

“So, who called you?” he asked, a smile growing on either side of his lips.

masterlist | playlist | ao3

taglist: @keepcalmandcarryfire @witchesdust @jonesyjonesyjonesy @paginate54 @hejustsatisfiess @salixfragilis @modernloverss @reincarnated70sbaby @rebel-without-a-zeppelin @kyunisixx @blackberryblossom @jimmypages @foreverandadaydarling @lzep @n0quart3r @verrbena-in-the-air if you want to be added to the list let me know!

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rusty-gloinks · 1 month

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iliike when people odnt make the drones kiss!!but instead bump heads w eachother

#DGMW .im okay with handling romance to some extent but HEAD BUMPS…..LISTEN TO ME … S #they are so much better .than kisses (imo #Not judging at all btw .u can let them make out sloppy style if u want .do what ever the hell u want!! ijust get really happy when I see #Them bump heads IRS SO CUTE .PLEASUSE

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oatbugs · 3 months

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lmao looking at her insta highlights was a mistake

#i feel worse WHY DOES SHE HAVE TONED MUSCLES UGHHH #also my confidence has gone down a tiny bit bc why is she hanging out w all these cool ppl #how is this girl simultaneously a lawyer and also has her social life on max like give me a break #thered a photo of her walking around in heaven either before closing or after opening shes sooo #HOWEVER. i just had a call w her yesterday that made me realise my idea of romance is more romantic than her idea of romance #but also that she doesnt want to do smth super romancey on a 3rd date which according to my friends is fair but according to my heart #it is not. like why are u on a date if u dont wanna do anything romancey at that point just hang out w friends #odd of her to say that too considering our first two dated were quite romantic . anyway #yo this cafe is playing persian music nice. anyway yh #also she makes being middle eastern so gay yk the goodbye fake cheek kiss thing we do . where u like . kiss the air on the sides of the #persons face when ur saying goodbye. ygwim . yeah she doesnt do the fake air kisses she gives u two tender kisses like . anyway #i discussed the stuff she does w my friend and like why r her words so aloof and her actions so...not . and my friends reaction was #basically this is fuckboy behaviour. apparently he used to do that to girls ?? like tell them he rly liked them #and be all charming and romantic even tho he rly wasnt invested at all and he mostly wanted to hook up. like ok #im gonna kill myself then. why would u stroke my hair w my head on ur LAP THEN. WHAT IF SHE TURNS AROUND AND IS LIKE #oops it was nothing #....ill kms actually. no i womt. but anyway #also got added to the gc w the other lecturers givjng talks on the 6th so its getting more real #my friend was like did u do the script yet :))) . almost died shes so scary i love her . but . fuck two exams . crush. talk. ucl cambrdige #three conferences aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA im so anxious i dont even feel anything atp #......I HAVE NO MONEY!!! TO TOP IT OFF #my crush and i are both iranian (aka born w extremely expensive taste woven into our genes) but i wanna like #treat her w the entire 2 quid in my bank account ig ♡♡♡#crushposting

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akechi-if-he-slayed · 10 months

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imo the perfect series finale for south park would be for them to dedicate their last couple of seasons to their junior + senior year of high school (yes live action because i think it would be awesome if done right, not insanely gritty and emo like riverdale). same startling humor and amusement, but kind of with a slightly more mature feel (because they are teenagers now after all; even though they don’t exactly “act their age” in the show, you can still tell their naive youth plays a big factor in a lot of their reasonings and motivations behind their actions and decisions) like yeah, they’re still being stupid and getting caught up in the weirdest shit, but this time they’re being dumb teenagers instead of dumb kids. also! feel like romance would definitely be a core thing, because you know. teenage hormones. no explicit scenes, but definitely make outs and the like, and their relationships would play a more crucial factor in the show. for example, i think that at the start of the live-action saga, wendy and stan would still be entertaining their on-and-off-again-friends-who-make-out-and-have-a-different-response-each-day-if-you-ask-whether-or-not-they’re-together and pretty soon, they’d eventually just break it off for good, and that would be a major coming of age moment for stan as he realizes he was only staying with wendy because she was “safe” and reminded him of being a kid.

PROM EPISODE (for junior year)!!! it would be so lit. huge, huge potential there to get everyone dolled up. stan and wendy would already be broken up by that time, so naturally stan and kyle would just go together as FRIENDS. MUTUAL BACHELORS. DEFINITELY NOTHING MORE….not like kyle turned down heidi’s ask because “i don’t want stan to feel alone” even though cartman and kenny don’t have dates either? also stan definitely doesn’t sneak a bottle in and definitely doesn’t skulk outside and kyle definitely doesn’t find him and just. sits and talks and just laughs and talks shit with him outside for the rest of the night and nothing is said about any sort of feelings kyle might have (if he’s even fully aware of them yet now that stan is 100% available for the first time in years) but. you can tell, everyone can tell that something is there, something is starting.

main highlights for this adaptation idea!

- bebe (cheer captain!) and wendy (heavily involved in asb, voted president senior year; there’s a whole episode dedicated to her campaign against kyle at the end of junior year, she wins by just a few votes) as the queens of the school, most popular girls (bebe in more of a gorgeous-can-have-any-guy-do-whatever-she-wants-and-have-them-all-want-her kind of way and wendy in a beautiful-and-powerful-top-of-the-class-but-definitely-not-an-outcast way)

- cartman still cartman but not nearly as volatile as he once was, still generally considered to be a dick, though. at first glance you think he’s a stupid football player meathead, but he’s actually incredibly smart when he wants to be, kyle is annoyed by this every time he shares an ap period with him and he actually does well.

- ordered class rankings (top 5): wendy (valedictorian), kyle, butters, cartman, heidi

- shelley moved across the country for college the second she graduated, so it’s just stan, randy, and sharon. naturally he spends the night at kyle’s so often that he leaves an overnight bag there and the broflovskis are never surprised to see him stumble out of kyle’s room in the morning

- bendy canon literally like two months after permanent stendy breakup. poor stan is helplessly confused: “has she been a lesbian this whole time????? did she think i was feminine??? is that why we were together for so long???”

- creek thriving as per

- kenny does musical theater and show choir. greatly enjoys it! butters is always front row and has never missed a performance.

- kyle captain of the debate team! wendy is vp, and there’s kind of been a weird tension between them ever since stendy split, you can practically hear her say “i know what you are.”

- stan enjoys volunteering at an animal shelter whenever he can, he keeps this a secret for as long as physically possible and this becomes a big plot point as he makes up increasingly suspicious and not very believable stories and excuses as for why he is rarely available after school despite having no job or clubs. rumors that spread: | randy has managed to get access to harder drugs and is using stan to deal them across south park | stan is a whore-for-hire and will give you an excellent bj if you pay up and meet him somewhere discreet (cartman started that one) | stan is part of a crime group conspiring to kill the mayor and control the city (this one has him end up at the police station with his head in his hands).

- gerald really wants kyle to be a lawyer and practically has all of his schools picked out for him, thereby unintentionally giving his son an existential crisis on what the heck he wants to do with his life because he does not want to do what his dad does but he also doesn’t have a good enough alternative to combat him.

- heavily hinted bunny, it’s literally right there but they tell everyone they’re just friends. ongoing gag of them being caught in compromising and/or suspicious positions but somehow having a seemingly reasonable explanation each time.

- college decisions would for sure be a big plot point towards the middle of their senior year, especially for kyle. he only applies to two schools and is accepted to both of them: princeton (college of his parents, their pick for him to study pre-law) and stanford (his pick, unknown to his parents that he even applied, to study psychology). yes it is absolutely insane that he only applied to two ivy leagues but what is even more insane is that his parents only wanted him to apply to princeton and no other schools. haha well now he has to explain to them that he is going to california and is not following their carefully constructed plan for his future haha

- stan is similar to shelley, he doesn’t really care where he goes as long as he gets to leave south park! he also knows he wants to do some sort of career helping animals but is unsure what exactly, so he just puts zoology as his major and applies to a lot of different schools. he ends up committing to uc davis! sharon is incredibly proud of him and cries when she sees the acceptance letter, randy is kind of bitter because he wanted stan to stay and help out with the farm since shelley booked it but eventually comes around (also stan would’ve gotten a job at 7/11 before he started working at tegridy alongside his dad).

- butters gets accepted to the university of rochester for biomedical sciences. kenny doesn’t plan on going to college, but him and butters decide to share a flat in the city, and kenny works odd jobs while also doing performances at various clubs in the at the area. also him and butters choosing to live together across the country is purely platonic!!! there is nothing romantic going on at all, they are just really good friends!! nobody buys this anymore

- cartman literally gets accepted to ucla on a full ride football scholarship for business management and it makes kyle want to tear him to shreds! liane would’ve absolutely somehow paid for his entire tuition anyway if she had to

i feel like the length of each episode would be about 45 minutes with the series finale being like 90 minutes, the first half being their graduation with wendy giving an incredibly corny yet oddly emotional speech as valedictorian that pretty much summarizes their entire lives in south park. and then the second half would kind of be just like providing conclusions and tying up loose ends such as:

- shelley flying back home for stan’s graduation and reconciling with him; she’s a junior at NYU and actually became a lot nicer and at peace with the world + herself after she was able to leave colorado

- randy actually having a good father-son moment with stan as they discuss his going off to school in california; stan realizes that his father definitely is not great, but he maybe also isn’t the worst person in the world

- a moment of “this is the last we’re ever gonna be like this, huh?” when the main four are hanging out at cartman’s, traditional teen paranoia of the future

- bunny finally 100% confirmed as scene shows with Kenny having his arm loosely hung around butters on someone’s couch, lightly pressed kiss on his cheek

ok i have a lot more but my #1 idea for the finale would be this:

- stan and kyle just aimlessly hanging out in the latter’s room about a week or two after graduation, easily talking about everything from college to music to new films to their friends; just enjoying each other’s company before fall comes (they are unbelievably dramatic. uc davis and stanford are like a hour’s drive away from each other but coming from best friends who have lived in the same city together their entire lives, an hour away may as well be a whole ass country away)

- occasional comfortable silence. kyle has come to terms with his feelings about stan at this point, but has chosen not to act on it in favor of keeping his longest friendship intact. nobody knows, he never told a soul. unbeknownst to him, stan has been accumulating the same feelings towards kyle, but likewise has been keeping them sealed tightly in so as not to ruin anything.

- eventually, they somehow start talking about relationships. stan never dated anyone else after breaking up with wendy at the start of junior year, and kyle has never truly dated anyone, not if you don’t count a faint fling with some loud city girl when he spent most of sophomore year summer with his mom’s family in new jersey. he came back from summer break more certain than ever that he was 100% gay. he recounts this story to stan for the first time (he’d been too embarrassed to tell anyone when he had come home) and it’s met with an enormous fit of laughter.

- they start talking about how weird it is to love someone, to have these strong urges and desires towards someone in a way that’s entirely unprovoked. to feel like you would do absolutely anything for this person, and to have life be unfathomable without them. they both agree on all their points, but no names are mentioned though!

- it’s the early morning hours before stan realizes how long they’ve been talking, and despite knowing he could stay the night, he decides to head home, suddenly flushed and overwhelmed with some sort of..something. does he really love kyle that much? in that way?

- the air is lightly tense as he leaves, kyle left feeling confused and slightly perturbed. against his butter judgment, he chases after stan outside, as he’s placing his key in his driver-side door to unlock his car.

- “wait!”

- stan turns his head, looking puzzled and faintly apprehensive. it’s summer, so the early morning is not bone-chillingly cold, yet also not as scorching hot as it will be come afternoon. it’s the perfect temperature, and it’s the perfect time, and before he knows what he’s doing, his feet are carrying his stiff, trembling body towards stan, whose eyes tell a thousand pictures despite his frame not moving a muscle.

- he stops in front of stan so that they’re gazing slowly, directly, meaningfully into each other’s eyes, and stan feels his throat go dry and his mind go blissfully blank. it’s slow and tender, the gentle yet firm way kyle stares up into his eyes, like he’s been waiting a lifetime for it (and he probably has) and he can feel his familiar breath whispering across his face, and all of sudden the careful movements, the gentle intention, all of it is gone in a flash.

- the very last scene of the very last episode of south park shows kyle slam his lips against stan’s, and then, lips still pressed together, the show ends.

#that was a lot wasn’t it #guys im sorry ive actually been fleshing out this idea on my head for so long #i have so many more ideas for this but i want this to be semi concise lol #can’t fit them all in might add as they come to me!#thank you so much if you read all of this mind jumble #live action high school south park is actually something that is so very special to me #i will also accept teenage south park in form of a graphic novel or comic series #thank u very much!#just wanna see these insane children act like insane teens is that too much to ask!#matt and trey boy have i got an idea for YOU!#make this happen and i promise we the people will be watching #thank you for your time everyone #live action south park #south park #sp style #sp bunny #sp bendy #south park high school au #side note here so i don’t add more cornball to the post: song to introduce the credits as kyle kisses stan would be #dog days are over #yeah #those dog days are really over for them!!#the kids are gonna be alright #yes i took beautifully talented singer kenny from the circus episode and RAN WITH IT

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the-gayest-sky-kid · 7 months

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i have normal feelings about him

#this is a lie im so unbelievably abnormal about him #expressing my feelings about him would get me killed #(by sheer embarrassment)#i need to have his face held in my hands immediately u do NOT understand #i need to be holding him !!!#i need to do THE sappiest shit to him #like i need to feed him bites of shortcake n shit. during a picnic. literally actually need to get a dollop of whipped cream on his nose #i need to hug him. and kiss him all over his face like super kiss attack #i need to pretend to steal his nose like u do with babies #its how i express my love #i need to pat his stupid little head and play with his hair and massage his scalp and rrryrggrgrgrgrgr #god why is this so much more embarrassing than admitting i want to fuck him god #saying u want him tied up & begging??? fine. bloody? go ahead #but GOD FORBID i want to give him a little massage and wash his back in the shower and ggrgdgdgegGEGRGRHRGRGRGR #i want to have breakfast with him :(#i can make decent pancakes :((( i swear :((((((#i bet hed be such a little bitch /affectionate abt things but its okay i am nothing if not persistent. i think. probably #he will be taken care of if its the last thing i do amen #...#i blame the lack of a filter on the migraine #posting posting 💕

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gh0stlymoth · 2 years

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V1 jmart for the kis meme 🥺👉👈?

[ID: Digital drawing of Jon and Martin. They are standing together in a rainy, foggy place. Jon has his right hand on Martin's face, cupping it and is looking at him with a pleading expression, mouth open, saying something. Martin has his head turned so that his face isn't visible, and he stands with a bit of a slumped posture. Fog is swirling around them, and in some places, Martin himself is becoming the fog, his body seemingly starting to fade. Jon is a slim british indian person with dark medium brown skin, long wavy hair and scars across their face and hands. He is wearing a no-descript jumper and an acering on his right hand. Martin a fat british polish man with pale skin and short white curly hair. He is wearing a pink dress shirt and a dark blue sweater vest. The background is an icy blue with a fog like texture. End ID]

Lost in the fog.

Also because this is not really in the spirit of the drawing prompts (aka this is not a kiss lol), have a bonus sketch~

[ID: very sketchy drawing of Jon and martin kissing, surrounded by fog swirling around them. Jon is holding Martins face with his right hand. End ID]

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jmart #jonmartin #the ghost scribbles #thank youuuuu mossy!!#bonus kissy only bc u r the avatar of kiss and i felt like i cheated you ajfhsjkafhkjashfk #bc i am pretty sure u did not want angst jfhak #this almost would have been 'i know they didn't kiss before the unknowing but i am a firm believer in they came close' drawing #but then this happend :]#mostly bc i couldn't figure out this pose for martin AT ALL and then he just. sat there a bit sadly and my head went bing ajfhsa

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4byun · 1 year

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Tagged by my beloved @tuisong! 🖤

15 questions for 15 mutuals

1. are you named after anyone?

I think so..? I vaguely remember being told I was named after some obscure celebrity lol.

2. when was the last time you cried?

A few days ago (✧ω✧)

3. do you have kids?

I have (1) baby cat!

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

Unfortunately („• ֊ •„)

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

ouughghhh.. none LMAO. I'm very unathletic.

6. what's the first thing you notice about other people?

Their eyes and their smile! I love smiles.

7. eye color?

Dark brown- almost black

8. scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings happy endings happy endingsssss. we have enough horrors irl as it is 💔

9. any special talents?

I think I'm a decent amount of creative so.. art? writing? music...?

10. where were you born?

The Philippines!

11. what are your hobbies?

Reading, designing/art, writing, playing music + video games + making jewellery/charms (✯◡✯)

12. do you have any pets?

A cattttt

13. how tall are you?

5 feet exactly LMAO. Be careful I don't step you >:3c

14. fave subject in school?

I enjoyed biology in high school! In university though umm.. I really loved my ux/ui design class. It was so much fun making something interactive and efficient.

15. dream job?

Tough! for now I'll say art director :-) I have many dream "jobs" though so we'll see lol.

Tagging: @stabbyfoxandrew + @kaeyadyke + @reiputa + @insomnikat-mused + @spiltspit + @mx-sinisters + @deadeyesthickthighs + @aroace-genderfluid-sheep + @homingpigecns

(´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡!

#tagged #sorry I'm late to do this my brain has been.. dead lately ;; thank you for tagging me <3 #btw no pressure to do this everyone <3 I just want to get to know you all better!!!#kisses u all on the head

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hirokiyuu · 1 year

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wow so when i wrote this i was like "hey this i'm only posting bc it's the first part to something much funnier" and then completely forgot to post the followup. so here have some dys>sol(>cal/tammy) bracelet scene pre-pre-pre-rship stuff. i love when kids are dumb and in love

it's ok (we'll find our way); 1k

When Sol crests the hill to where Dys is packing for his next trip out, the very first thing that Dys looks at are his wrists, because Dys is an idiot. Because apparently Sol is also an idiot, he is in fact wearing the databand, spinning it with his other hand as he stares down at it. “Hi, Dys.”

Thank fuck half the time he just nods hello at Solana anyways, because trying to unstick his jaw from where it’s glued shut sounds pretty impossible right now. Not that Sol even notices, really, still staring down at his dumb new bracelet. “Um. Can I… can I get another ten minutes where you don’t tell me you think something’s stupid?”

Thank fuck that him packing means he has an excuse to turn around. Against all odds his dumb voice doesn’t crack as he says, “Sure?”

“Someone likes me?” Sol blurts, instantly, and when he glances over, Sol is blushing. Stars. Dys kind of wants to die. “Like, I got this message on Vertumnalia, and apparently, um, this --” he holds up his wrist, like Dys hasn’t been staring at it since the moment he showed up “-- is from a, a secret admirer?”

Yeah, I fucking know. He bites it back. “Oh.”

“Someone likes me,” Sol repeats; he’s staring down at the dumb thing with stars in his eyes. “No one’s ever liked me before. Like, I mean, I thought, um. I thought Cal did, and I was…. I was totally wrong there, y’know?”

Because Cal is the stupidest person in the colony, yeah. Why anyone would ever pick Tammy with Sol as an option, Dys will never understand. “But…” says Sol, and the smile that had faltered on his face for a moment is back, small and sweet. “But I guess someone does.”

Okay. Maybe the whole thing wasn’t such a terrible idea after all, if it makes Sol smile like that. Or at least, that’s what Dys thinks for exactly two seconds, before suddenly Sol looks up at him and blurts, “Who do you think gave it to me?”

Nevermind, Dys wants to die again; he jerks back around, grabbing the nearest ration to shove into his pack so Sol won’t see him blush or whatever. Luckily Sol doesn’t actually seem to be expecting an answer, already barreling on ahead: “Like, I was thinking about it, and I really don’t know? Like, at first I thought maybe it was one of the Helio kids, but I don’t really know any of them that well, and whoever made this, um… I mean, it has a bunch of stuff I’m into, y’know? All the music and vids and stuff that I like?”

Next time Sol starts talking about Sanctuary Moon, Dys is turning on his holospeak and pretending he’s gone deaf. “So that kinda narrowed it down, I guess, to one of us? But like, obviously it’s not Cal--” because he’s an idiot, as previously established, and fuck but Dys hates the way Sol’s face drops a little just saying that “--and Nemmie’s super gone on that Vace guy already, so I knew it wasn’t her, and that just leaves --”

--oh fuck here it comes--

“--Marz?”

Dys stops. Puts his things down. Turns around. “...What?”

“I know!” Sol’s got his face buried in his hands, which is good, because Dys has absolutely no idea what kind of expression he’s making himself right now. “I know, I don’t like it either, like….” He drags them down his face before looking up at Dys; for a moment seeing Dys’s face he wilts, but then rallies again. “I-I mean, it’s a nice gift! It’s a really, really nice gift, y’know? It made me… it made me really happy, okay?”

Stars. Of course it did. There’s a weird lump in Dys’s throat when he hears that, but Sol, still charging stupidly ahead, doesn’t even notice. “But even if I liked girls, I wouldn’t like Marz, she’s way too mean and bossy and I just….” Sol sighs again, slumping over, and despite his words he’s still playing with the bracelet. “I didn’t even think she noticed me that much.”

“She doesn’t.”

Sol blinks, looks back up. “What?”

Fuck. It’s too late to take the words back. Dys takes a single breath, wipes his palms against his legs, and then manages, “It wasn’t from Marz.”

“Oh,” says Sol. He’s got that same puzzled frown he always gets when they’re up on the walls and he’s struggling through his homework. “Wait, really? But how do you know… that….”

The silence is deafening, as the frown gives way to slowly widening eyes. Dys, for his part, turns around and starts shoving all his stuff into his bag as fast as he can, who gives a shit about organizing right now? “Dys,” says Sol, a little unsteadily, and even without looking Dys can picture the way his whole awful handsome face has gone slack in surprise. “Are you my --”

“So what if I am?” he interrupts immediately, because if Sol actually says the words he’s going to die. His face is on fire. “Don’t make a big deal about it.”

“Oh,” says Sol, still sounding totally bewildered. Dys should’ve chucked the stupid databand off the ridges when he’d finished making it; he starts buckling up the pack and ignores the fact that the top won’t go totally shut. When he glances back, just for a second, Sol’s gone red too, still staring at him, and in return Dys flushes even more and looks back away. “I-I won’t.”

“Good,” says Dys, reaching his limit. Before this stupid conversation can drag on any longer he grabs his pack and hustles away, not quite sprinting only because he can’t actually run with the stupid thing on. As he goes, though, he glances over his shoulder once last time.

Sol’s still standing right where Dys left him, head tilted back down to the bracelet, touching it gently the way he had been when he’d first walked up. On his face Dys can just barely make out that same small, shy smile as before. Dys nearly trips; Sol looks up; their eyes meet and for a moment that smile grows just a little before Dys whips his head back forward, his own dumb heart pounding so loud it’s all he can hear.

#Earnest Teenage Cringe! Earnest Teenage Cringe! they are Young Dumb And In Love!#if yall remember previous shit ive written this is the same version of sol that asks dys to marry him later WWWWW #dreamy idiot....... head in the clouds......... no thoughts just physical skills + max bravery #love in his heart <3 muscle in his body <3 air in his head <3 #i love when men are gay and stupid #title again from 2023 for no reason other than i wanted it to match the first one LOL #'what if you stop theme titling all ur exocolonist' what if u let me live my life #this is for both the person who posted dishsoap recently nad made me a little feral over them again #adn for emimi who i love 'why' I Love Her Is Why #i was a teenage exocolonist #how do you writing #dishsoap kiss! dishsoap kiss! dishsoap kiss!

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