Tumgik
#I stayed up until like 3 reading animal house last night and all of my friends woke up to a full essay about how it was written about the
aesfocus · 2 days
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TW: ANIMAL DEATH
A tiny little celebration and recounting of this lil old lady, who passed away yesterday april 22 2024, 6 years to the day her adopted sister left the world.
Read on to learn about her adoption story and some of her fav things!
I made sure she had a comfortable lovely weekend, but she let me know it was time.
So who was Turtle?
In Aug 2010 I went to a local shelter and adopted 2 kitties. One a kitten we named Genki, and another a 1+ year old mystery owner surrender they named Hello Kitty.
She saw us and started yelling and slamming herself on the glass to show us how to pet her. She snugged onto my lap immediately in the little private room to meet her and I was in love instantly.
But back at home she was very scared. She hid under the couch for three days only peaking her head out to eat some food and then she went back in. This would be the last time in her life she would be shy, but I didn't know it so I named her...
Alligator Snapping Turtle; Turtle!
She quickly became my shadow. Clinging to me night and day. She would jump onto the back of my chair, lay on my back and slowly slide down towards my butt. She did this so frequently she managed to break the chair, eventually. After that all my chairs have been bought with more room for her to snug me. For a whole decade.
If someone visited, she would insist they hold her, or she'd sleep on them in their sleep. She once was held through a 3 hour long DnD session by someone she had just met; she loved people. Loved being pet, but above all, she adored me.
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She had a specific meow for me, she spent every single night for nearly 14 years in between my legs, and unfortunately, as she got older she got separation anxiety real bad. She would cry and cry for about an hour each time I left. (I rarely do as I no longer work but even a trip to the grocery store did not leave her happy!) I know this because my husband had plenty of videos of her standing at the door hoping I would return.
No matter what I did in the house there she was.
But lets back up a moment, remember that bit about owner surrender? That intake form was interesting. with questions like "What is your pets favorite toy?" came answers like 'small glove'. She spent at least a year in someone with 7 children's garage. They fed her 'cheep food' and knew very little about her past other than they found her about a year prior. No judgements to them, but this girl was a lap cat to end lap cats. You would pick her up and move her to stand and she'd jump right back into your lap. She's dig her claws in if she thought you were trying to leave. She wanted the warmth god damn it!
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Here is her on top my husband. Human's were good options.
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Heat vent? Also a great option.
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She would, when I worked, stay in bed in the covers right where I left her until I came home from work, all nice and cozy.
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She loved it when my husband worked from home, gave her ample time to try and fry his laptop during his breaks or lunches.
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But her fav place was on top of me. I set up my desk just for her actually! This big living room chair was purchased so she could always be near me.
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Because the previous snug situation was not cutting it!
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Here she is on the chair I bought for us.
She was never very photogenic, because she saw my hand and wanted pets. If I wasn't petting her she'd cry and show me how to pet her with her paws, or she'd flop around or rub herself on something and look up at me like 'come ooooonnn you know the good spots.'
Or she would do a 'turkey twerky'(where cats twitch their tails and step from foot to foot rapidly in excitement).
Her fav toy it turned out was not a 'small glove' but in fact the simple spring. Yellow was her fav color of the springs, but past that any small bit of plastic she could chase around and yell at was great. She was a very loud little lady!
I sang her a song daily for about ten years;
"Her name is turtle! and she's a turtle! And she's got a lot to say!"
after which she'd generally make a BIG meow and I'd give her tons of attention. Because she was my lil baby girl.
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But her all time fav thing, beside me of course, was going outside. She didn't get to much as I believe in, and have, indoor only cats, but on special nice days we'd go outside and she'd gets some nice supervised time with the grass. (She made the other cats jealous because only she was let outside without a harness, but that's because if she wasn't in about a 2 foot radius of me she'd come back and yell at me to follow/I was able to out run her.)
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Last year I had her shaved, because she was a fat cat who was struggling with cleaning herself so we were going to get on a rotation of shaving and baths and brushing to make sure she stayed nice and clean...
But unfortunately she began to drop in weight very quickly, the primary sign something was very wrong.
She was adopted on the same day as Genki, and six years to the day she passed on the same day as her sister. Genki lost a very long fight with a fungal pneumonia in 2018 and our hearts shattered and then yesterday they did it again.
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If Turtle was my heart, my little shadow, then Genki was my husband's.
Turtle was such an amazing good friend, I have so many memories of her and it doesn't seem real that she's gone. But I wanted to keep this light, and positive, and so I will end it with, adopt.
Don't shop, adopt. You never know who is waiting for you in a shelter, what kind of very full wonderful life you can provide each other! Hello Kitty became Turtle and she knew that name, she'd come running any time I called, she was my very best friend and I miss her so fucking much.
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wonder-mei · 2 months
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Together Forever (MK1 Havik)
PS; Not lore accurate to the Mortal Kombat universe, I write because they’re hot.
The foods she made already went cold as they’ve been sitting there for hours. The lady waits for the arrival of her lover,Havik who promised he will be back today in his letter but there is still not a sight of him until dawn. She still sits there since morning believing he will be at their doorstep any minute now, the expectation she’s been having since she awoke at dusk.
She re-reads his letter again ‘I will be back in 3 days, this is a promise. No less or more than those days. The battle is almost over and I can only write this letter for the last time before I go home back to you,my love. I am fine and not hurt at all, do not worry about me. See you in 3 days. I have missed you every second without you by my side. I love you always.
Havik
Today is the third day. She has been excited since yesterday. Cleaning their house,washing every clothes needed and cooking his favorite foods. But where is he? She started to get tired in the chair in the living room. Her eyes haven’t left the front door. Minutes later her eyes closed from exhaustion. 
The birds’ chirps awoke her. It’s morning. The 4th day, a day after he promised to be here back home. She walks outside thinking he’ll be in the farm doing the corps. No one is there. She walks to the bathroom. Just cold there. She looks at the foods she made, not a single bit of them were eaten. ‘Maybe the place he is at has heavy rain or even something bad making him no chance to stay there for awhile’ she thinks for her own emotion. 
She gave the food to their farm animals not wanting to waste them. Then something caught her eyes, there’s a letter in a basket beside the front door. Did she not see it before? The lady takes it and reads; ‘My love, you have taken well of our house and farm. I am very lucky to have you as my wife. Strong and independent woman. The new dress you are wearing fits you so well complimenting your beauty. I love you’
“Havik?!” she calls out his name looking around their house searching for his sight. He’s not to be seen “Come home,Havik!” 
No replies. Just the wind. With a heavy heart she storms back to the house laying down in the bed crying. “Why didn't he come home when he was right here? Did I do something?”,Negative thoughts swam in her mind, making her cry much more. In tears she went to sleep once again with sadness in her heart. 
She wakes up hours later feeling hungry. She looks around and no one is in the house beside herself. She went to eat alone and attend their farm. Until night comes, Havik is still not home. She sleeps in sorrow this time.
The next day, the house is still in the same atmosphere; cold and lonely. She walks out from the front door. There’s a letter again in the same basket. She opens it,reading; ‘My love, please don’t cry. It breaks my heart seeing you like this. I am sorry I haven't come home as I promised. I just don’t know how to face you…. I have changed. You won't love me after you see me. I am afraid of losing you. I love you’
What does he mean he changed? Did something go wrong in the mission? That can’t be, he is capable of taking care of himself and heal. So what is he so afraid about? 
“Havik,are you hurt?!” She shouts out loud eyes wandering every place around the house “Come home,Havik! I can help you with your wounds!”
Not a single reply.
With the same sorrowful heart, she storms back into the house and sleeps in tears. After she woke up, she didn’t go outside to tend the farm. She isolates herself in the room. She came out the next day, went straight to the front door. A letter again in the basket, ‘Love, I am sorry I hurt you. You didn’t feed the animals yesterday. You must be so hurt by this…. I am sorry. I will apologise to you a million times just for you to feel comfort. I still don’t have the courage for you to see me. I am sorry. I love you’
“Havik come home!” she cries out “Come back to me…” 
Again,just silence. 
Today, she isolates herself just like before. Eating little food and laying in the bed thinking about Havik wondering why he is still afraid to be seen by her. She’s his wife. Nothing can change her love towards him no matter what. By then, she has an idea. 
It was dusk, she lay there quiet under the covers pretending to sleep. The window by the bed creaks open a little. Someone is peeking inside the room and then closes it back. Heavy footsteps walk to the front door stopping there. She slowly walks to the front door and opens the door with a swift. And there he is. Her husband. His back facing her like he was about to leave. She saw him flinch hearing the door open after he laid the letter in the basket again “Havik!” she calls out his name. Tears starts to water down her eyes “Havik, don’t go” 
Her heart was heavy looking at his appearance. Havik is a little thinner than before he left for the war. His body becomes more tense as she walks towards him. Her soft hand touches his shoulder “Havik?”, he stand still not turning around “Havik, please i want to see you” she softly asks
Havik slowly turns around. His eyes avoid hers. He covered half of his face with a scarf “Are you hurt?” she reaches the scarf but he stops her “Let me see” her eyes begs him. Havik lets her to uncover his face
He finally looks at her to see her reaction. No sigh of disgust or fear, not the reaction he expected her seeing his new scarred face “Who did this to you?” 
“I wasn’t strong enough to avoid the accident”
“Are you in pain?”
She sighs in relief and hugs him tightly “That’s all matter,Havik. I don’t want you to be in pain”
Havik stood there still not knowing what to do. She loves him even though his face is half of his flesh? The thoughts of her leaving him and being scared of him because of new looks was not true. “Are you not scared?”
She looks into his eyes “Never will” 
Havik finally returns her embrace. Hugging her tightly, he slowly cries. All those fears of losing her will never happen. Their love for each other is forever even after one of them changed. But love will never change, not a single bit.
“Let’s go home” she holds his hand with the smile he adores so much
“Yes”
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wahoo-venus · 22 days
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Short Hilson fic where House plays the piano, mayhaps? 😍
sure thing! it takes a bit to get to the piano part, sorry 'bout that, haha! I hope you enjoy<3
lmk if you have any more requests!
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1,072 words
Wilson has trouble sleeping, and House knows how to help him
———
Fifth night in a row. God dammit.
Wilson stared at the ceiling with a frown. He was crashing at House's place, hoping that a change of air would help him sleep. It didn't.
For some unknown reason, the last four nights he wasn't able to sleep. This night appeared to be the same.
It was becoming a problem. He tried everything that helped in the past: Jogging until feeling extremely tired, taking a long steamy bath, reading the most boring documents he could find, taking melanin... Nothing. Zero. Nada.
He got up, irritated, and went to the kitchen and opened the cabinet looking for a glass, grabbing the tallest one he could find. He closed the pannel a little aggressively, and then opened the fridge with the same force. After analyzing the liquids avaliable, he opted for some orange juice and, again, closed the door with more aggression than needed. He poured the drink on his glass until it was about to spill, and drank it in one go, but before he could put the glass down he heard a familiar voice.
"Don't you dare break my glass. I think you already broke all other furniture you touched tonight" House entered the kitchen and went past him, eyeing the fridge as to see if there was any damage.
Wilson could only sigh. "Sorry. Did I wake you?" He put the glass down, very carefully now that he was aware of the force he put into his actions before. He glanced at House half looking for approval and half looking for forgiveness.
"No, my sixth sense warned me that if I didn't go to the kitchen right this instant, I would have one less glass in my arsenal." He said this while looking for box of cookies in pantry, side-eying him before actually finding the box. Wilson chuckled at the comment.
"Thank God for the supernatural" He said with a tinge of playfulness in his tone, before switching to a more exasperated one. "I'm just frustrated. I–"
"Still can't sleep" House said with his mouth filled with chocolate chip cookies, raising an eyebrow at him. His attention was now fully on his friend, when he wasn't taking another bite of his sweet snack.
"I've tried everything!" He shook his hands in the air, voice raising an octave. "I don't know what else to do! I feel like I'm going insane!" He turned to look at his friend, who was observing his outburst, almost puzzled. "I going to go crazy if I don't sleep tonight" this last part was almost a plea, as if House could do anything about it. His look changed from pensive to a little annoyed.
"And it's going to be my problem if you don't" Wilson hoped it meant what he thought it did. That House had a solution. That the solution was very, very simple, and that House knew it. If he was lucky, House would even share it.
Wilson took a few wary steps, as if aproaching a wild animal that he didn't want escaping. He didn't dare make a sound, just waited until House said something, hoping it would be useful. He stared, staying very still.
Then House rolled his eyes. "You should go back to the couch. My couch, by the way. You should be thankful i haven't invited some hooker and let her sleep there" He grabbed his cane and marched past Wilson, leaving the cookies behind.
He sighed. Of course he wouldn't help him. He had to pay some bigger price, like 100 Clinic Hours, or Unlimited Chinese Food For a Year. He rubbed his face with his hands and let out another sigh, thinking what he was willing to sacrifice for some sleep. Squeezing his eyes shut, he came up with a few ideas. But his train of thought was interrupted by something that came from the living room.
He opened his eyes and looked up. That... was House playing the piano? Was he playing for him?
He almost didn't dare to move. Then he thought about it, and if he didn't move House would probably shout at him and stop playing. So he slowly went to the living room, stopping as soon as House was in his range of view.
He really was playing. Wilson didn't know what, exactly, he never was one for classical music. But it was beautiful. It was calm yet not slow. And the way House was playing... He feels that if he heard another man play it, it wouldn't be as good.
Swallowing a bit, he took courage to lay on the couch. He tried to make as little sound as possible, and layed in a comfortable position where he could look at the piano.
He couldn't look at House's face, but he supposed it was better. That way he couldn't make fun at him later for making shocked expression with a touch of adoration. Instead, he was looking at his hands.
They looked so rough. They were lanky and long, with calluses from playing the guitar and messing with chemicals every once in a while. And they played marvelously. They went from one side of the piano to the other, swaying and not missing a single note.
The melody was a bit cheery, and the pace wasn't exactly fast, but was not at all slow. He smiled, and chuckled a bit. House took notice, because he turned his head a bit and gave a side-eye. Luckily Wilson was still looking at his hands.
House stopped playing. A beat. Dammit, Wilson had ruined it. He closed his eyes shut. Dammit. But before he could spiral, House started again.
This time it was a very calm melody. Sweet. Tender. Slow, but not boring. Again, it was beautiful. And House was playing it. For him.
He took a deep breath, and let it out, tension leaving his body. He didn't care if he had to pay a thousand dollars in cash tomorrow, it was worth it. He loved this. It was amazing, and almost didn't want to fall asleep just to keep hearing his friend play.
But his worries slowly flew away, leaving him with nothing but a tired body and an exhausted mind. He let the notes enter his body and invade his mind with the same words he used earlier: Calm. Sweet. Tender. Slow. Beautiful. House.
He fell asleep with a smile plastered on his face.
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sweetflanfiction · 10 months
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Second Chances - Part 3
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Universe: Read Dead Redemption 2
Pairing: Arthur x reader
Disclaimers and Warnings: I just realized that the whole farming thing is very similar from the epilogues. It was definetly no intentional! Not finished, not proofread. English isn't my 1st language. All I know about 1899 is from google, so inacuracies will be plenty. The reader is on the older side, and identifies as a female
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
• ··········· • ············ •
“Fight them demons.”
He heard it inside his mind. He hadn’t seen the deer again, his mind wandering through green forests and cool lakes. The only time he saw it again, it disappeared at the entrance to a familiar campsite.
“Arthur my boy!” He heard behind him. His heart pounded as he turned but he saw nothing. “One more job Arthur!” 
“No!” He shouted. “You always have a plan! One more job! No more!"
“Don’t let the demons get you…” A soft woman’s voice whispered.
“We…need…the…money!” The older man’s voice enunciated each word.
“No more!” He said to the sky. “People died for you! I died for you! Hosea! Sean! No more."
The campsite changed a couple of times. Sometimes it was two small wooden cabins in the snow, sometimes it was a big dilapidated house in the south. The world spun around him and he fell to his knees.
“No more.” He mumbled
“Fight them demons.” The voice whispered and he nodded absently.
“I’m done…No more.” He said and his mind became black.
• ··········· • ············ •
A few more days passed and the stranger got progressively better, to the point where your father had almost demanded that you keep the door open at all times when you were inside giving him his medicine. He was still quiet, obedient, sad and incapable of anything other than breathing, eating and sleeping. Whether the last part was because of sickness or his state of mind you didn’t know.
As usual, you kept helping the stray and it ate you inside that, unlike the animals, he didn't react accordingly. It didn’t make you angry or frustrated, but it made you feel sad too.
“When can I leave?” He asked one evening when you started to leave the room.
“Whenever you want.” You said and he hummed.
“Why did you save me?” He asked again and you stopped and turned around. He was eloquent and conscious, but most surprising, he talked in full sentences.
“Because I couldn’t come home knowing someone was dying out there.” You said and leaned back on the wall.
“I wasn’t dying. I was already dead.” He stated with conviction, looking up when you chuckled.
“Well, I might just have to call the priest then, seeing as you seem to have resurrected from a cave in the mountain." You joked but his face was blank, so you turned serious. "Listen, you either came back to life or at least three people have gone mad and have been talking with a ghost.”
“You should have left me there.” He looked up at the ceiling.
“Maybe. But I didn’t.” You sighed. “Listen, the truth is you ain't dead, not even close to it. You had the flu accompanied by a mighty fever. You seem better now…whenever you wanna leave, just walk down the stairs and out the door. Ain’t nobody gonna stop you from getting back to where you came from, back into your own life and loved ones." 
His brows furrowed at the last part of the phrase.
“But…” You continued and he turned his head to look at you. “I talked to Pa and you can stay here a little while longer than needed. The ranch is very large, and we are always in need of help. If you want to stay until you get your mind together, you can. If not, like I said, the door is downstairs.” 
He kept looking at you, studying you from across the room.
“Why would you offer a complete stranger a seat at your table?” He asked, his expression changing between blank and questioning. “For all you know I can kill your whole family, rob you, burn your house down, kill your kids.”
“I can hear you pacing in this room at night, when you think we are sleeping.” I smiled softly when his eyes widened. “You pace back and forth, and when the floor creaks, you stop. This means you’re mobile. In all fairness we did sleep with our guns the first night that happened, but then we realized that you didn’t even try to leave the room. The door has been unlocked this whole time and you never made a run for it. So, correct me if I’m wrong but whatever your end game is, it doesn’t involve harming us.”
The man’s face changed expression three times in five seconds. Initially, it was guilty, then it was angry, and finally it was defeated.
“Y’all don’t even know my name.” He said under his breath. “Hell, I don’t even know y'all's names.”
You told him your name, walking towards the bed, one hand extended. He moved slightly, his brows betraying his blank expression, telling you he tensed up at your movement. He pulled himself up to lean on his elbows and grabbed your hand firmly but not threateningly.
“Arthur M…Callahan…Arthur Callahan.” He announced and you nodded.
“Welcome back into the living world Mr. Callahan.” You smiled softly, shaking his hand.
• ··········· • ············ •
The two manly voices from upstairs kept an amicable tone as you strained to listen. You were sitting at the bottom of the stairs with the two family dogs keeping you company. Much to your delight, both men seemed to be calmly discussing something.
When you told your father about the plan to ask the stranger to stay and help he looked at you sideways, a furry black eyebrow raised upwards, leaning back into his chair. He had learned over the years to listen to your opinion, much like he had done with your mother, and take it into serious consideration.
You had placed your arguments on the table: the ranch was indeed in need of help for the upcoming season; most of the families in charge of the surrounding lands weren't getting any younger, you being one of the youngest and even then you weren't exactly a teenager and finally, your instinct kept nagging that the man somehow had nothing left to go back to.
"Oh if it's your instinct then…sign him right up." Your father grumbled sarcastically.
But at the moment he seemed to be having a conversation with the man. He was either laying down some rules or letting him know the fastest way to the train station. The voices grew quieter and you jerked your head back up the stairs as you saw not only your father, but the stranger, Arthur following behind him.
He was wearing the clothes you'd found him in. They had been washed, but you didn't stitch the holes.
"Well, it seems like Mr. Callahan will help us for a while." Your father stated, coming down the stairs. "I'm gonna grab the horses and give the man a tour of the ranch."
"Alright." You replied getting up from your place on the stairs and looking up at the men. "Miss Brant asked me to help her set up the beehives that had arrived."
The older man nodded. You looked back at the almost healthy Arthur.
"Glad to see you up and walking, Mr. Callahan." He nodded silently and you left, grabbing a hat from the hanger by the door.
• ··········· • ············ •
You arrived late in the evening, your horse on a rhythmic trot. The house was mostly dark, but the front porch had a soft orange glow coming from a lit lantern that your father usually left outside if you weren't home after the sun went down.
There was a shadow next to the lantern and you soon discovered Arthur sitting next to it, looking at the darkness in front of him. Lost in thought, he didn't hear you approach, didn't even notice when you stopped Dusk right near him.
"Hello Mr. Callahan." You tilted your hat to the man, still seated on your horse.
His head jerked and he snapped up to look at you, surprised by your sudden appearance.
"Oh.." he cleared his throat and nodded his head. "Good evening Miss Graham."
"You alright there?" You asked leaning into your saddle horn.
"Ah…just thinkin' I guess. It's the first time I've been out at night after the whole…ordeal." He trailed off and shook his head. "Your father didn't seem very worried about you not showing up for dinner." 
"Bad news travels fast in Captain's Corner. If something had gone wrong, he'd know." You said, only moving to pat Dusk's white mane. 
"Captain's Corner?" The man asked with a hint of, what you assume was, alarm in his tone.
You stood straight in your seat and opened your arms, gesturing to the air around you.
"It's the name of the land Mr. Callahan!" You said enthusiastically "Welcome to Captain's Corner Ranches."
• ··········· • ············ •
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keii-starz · 22 days
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answer any or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️
Do you have freckles? 
 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 
What was the last song you listened to? 
Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 
Do you prefer drawing or writing? 
What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 
What’s your favorite band/artist? 
When is your birthday? 
How tall are you? 
What color are your eyes? 
Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 
Fears? 
What’s your favorite color? 
What’s your favorite season? 
Want any tattoos? What of? 
Want any piercings? Where? 
Who is the last person you texted? 
Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 
What/who do you miss? 
How was your day today? 
How much sleep did you get last night? 
Do you believe in aliens? 
When was the last time you cried? Why? 
What’s your favorite decade? 
What are some seemingly childish things you like? 
What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 
How are you, really? 
Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 
What are you looking forward to in the near future? 
What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 
If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 
Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 
What’s your favorite flower? 
Do you currently have a squish? 
Do you like your middle name? 
Do you prefer dogs or cats? 
Do you have any phobias? 
Do you stay up late?
Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 
What’s your favorite cartoon? 
Tag 5 of your favorite blogs
Do you have siblings? How many? 
Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 
Is there anyone you would die for? 
What do you need when you’re sad? 
Have you memorized your phone number? 
Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 
What does your last text say? 
Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 
1. I wish (no) 😔
2. I drink both!!! but I don't drink coffee that often, and when I do, it's only if it has milk and sugar in it! when I drink tea, I usually drink milk tea, or I add milk to my matcha tea, but sometimes I just drink regular tea!
3. DAYDREAM by HIGHLIGHT!!!
4. I sleep on my back, but I actually prefer sleeping on my side!! I just dont sleep on my side most of the time because I sleep with headphones on, and its kinda uncomfortable sleeping on my side with headphones on
5. yes!! my little teddy bear that I got from my bestie!!! I named him lucy
6. hmm I love both a lot, but I'd say drawing!
7. ummm it doesn't really matter for me but I'll say teo because of my blanket I've had since childhood (its too small to cover me now so ofc I have to use another blanket)
8. hmm for band, it'd be LUCY!!! (K-band) I think the violin in their music makes their songs sound even nicer! but my fav part is obv sangyeop's soft voice :3
but for artists in general...hmm there's quite a few, so I'll name them by language! 1. CRAVITY (korean boy group), ZICO (korean soloist, k-hiphop), COLDE (korean soloist, k-r&b), 2. yoh kamiyama (japanese), TUYU (japanese band), 3. jeremy zucker, suggi (english)
9. february 11!
14. sage green!!
15. autumn! not too cold or hot, and not as much bugs!
19. I do! we've been friends since 4th grade!
21. it was great!!! I had so much fun and got to eat a lot of good food!!
24. sometime last week, I think tuesday..I think it had smth to do with my insecurities or like. how I keep getting the feeling I'm not wanted
28. my mental and physical states both suck a ton, but since I've returned home for spring break, im trying to convince myself to not worry about anything and just think of this as a lil vacation just until this is over
31. im definitely looking forward to moving out of my mom's house or just not staying with my family in general...I want to get an apartment where I feel relaxed at when I turn into an adult
32. if I could go anywhere right now...I would probably go to my aunt's house in florida..tbh, I wouldn't say her cooking's (sorry auntie 😔) the best, but I'd probably feel way...calmer? there and less likely to cry so often
34. my favorite flower is the star of bethlehem!!! it's really really pretty!!! im pretty sure it's a poisonous flower tho lol
39. all the time 😊
42. I prefer cloudy days! sunny days are nice, but I don't like getting the sun in my eyes very much, plus the sky is prettier with clouds :3
44. 5 of my fav blogs: @azulashengrottospiano @dove-da-birb @twistwonderlanddevotee @alexisomnias @l7k-a
45. I have 2 siblings! an older brother and younger sister, who is the youngest, but if I didn't tell u this and you met us both irl, you'd probably think shes the older one based on height and personality lol
47. I would die for any of my friends in a heartbeat
48. music!!! I CANNOT go without my music I tell u!!!
49. nope!!! you see, my phone doesn't tell me my phone number, so I always have to ask other people what it is 😐 (my other phone did tho)
50. uhhh hmmm this one is really hard bcuz I don't think I know anyone irl who I can trust with my life but probably...no one..?
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vanillahigh00 · 5 months
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Thank you for the tag @stereopticons and @hippolotamus! I love this idea!!😍
I love seeing everyone sharing their holiday fics!!
It's been such a crazy time for me and I've been trying to bury myself in some warm holiday goodness. Wanted to share my winter and holiday fics in the hopes one or all may bring some warmth or holiday cheer to someone else who may not have read them.
The only winter holiday fics I've written are in the Schitt's Creek Fandom for David and Patrick.
I'll Weather Any Storm With You (E) I wrote this for Frozen Over last year: David and Patrick meet by the fireplace at a ski lodge and meet for dinner. After a dinner mishap, things look bleak until a winter storm comes in and David finds himself cold and alone... can he find someone to keep him warm on this cold, stormy night?
2. Made With Love (T) Snow falls and Patrick has to clean up the driveway. David doesn't want to help, but there's something else he can do for his husband.
3. Christmas Revelation (M) This was my first completed fic in this fandom. @ineveryuniverse-sc co-wrote a couple parts of this fic with me. Patrick goes to his parent's house for Christmas in the hopes of telling them about David. David stays behind and has a difficult time being apart from Patrick for their first Christmas. Can David really stay away? A story about Patrick and David's first Christmas.....the good, the bad and the ugly.
4. The Purrrrfect Gift (M) I co-wrote this with @edie4711. We had so much fun with this one!
A sound startles David out of his thoughts. A high-pitched, mournful sort of sound.
What the fuck is that?
It’s coming from the sunroom at the back of the house. It sounds like a…bird? No, it can’t be a bird, it’s after dark. It’s definitely an animal sound, though. Owl? A baby? David shudders, then shakes it off; it’s a ridiculous thought. No one alive would think leaving a baby on David Rose’s doorstep in the night is a good idea.
5. Merry Christmas... Couldn't Miss This One This Year
I wrote this one under another pseud that I've since renamed to match VanillaHigh00. I love this holiday tune and had to write a fic about it. "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses.
Spread some more holiday fic joy with me! No pressure tagging: @mudbloodpotter05 @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @smblmn @themelancholyvegetable @designatedgrape @statueinthestonetoo
@mallpretzles @chelle-68
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silvernyxchariot · 1 year
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Formaggio is currently my emotional support hitman. So, have a rant.
The synopsis is that no one appreciates this character and it makes me sad. Formaggio, come pick me up; I hate it here./j
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Out of La Squadra, Formaggio's generally not my favorite, but as a La Squadra whore, I'll make an effort to appreciate my boys.
My initial impression of Formaggio and the majority of La Squadra was... non-existent. I paid attention to Giorno, Bucciarati's group, and subsequently Narancia during this fight. But if I had to come up with something for Formaggio, the only thing that stood out to me was Little Feet. After part 3 and 4, finally, someone had to have the ability to shrink. It's such a simple and convenient ability to have, both on the battlefield and on the daily.
Lock yourself out of your house? Shrink and crawl under the door. Have a lot to carry or something incredibly heavy to carry up a flight of stairs, like a car or a 5 ft x 6 ft paining (don't ask)? Shrink it down to size and put it in your pocket. Or maybe carry a couple of grenades and automatic rifles and wear them like a braclet until you're ready to use them... No one's gonna know. They're gonna know. No one's going to know./ref
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The more I made La Squadra a part of my personality, the more I realized, "Fuck yeah, I would appreciate a homie like Formaggio." He may look like an annoying punk (like 99% of my classmates) but he's adaptable and clever. During his first conversation with Narancia, it sounded like Formaggio was just rambling and making jokes, but every sentence was a transition to get information or a reaction from Narancia.
Vol. 2 VA, chp 31:
(To Narancia) "Word is, Polpo died last night. Then, all of a sudden, Bucciarati, Fugo, Abbacchio, and Mista all went into hiding They're not anywhere. I finally found you, though, Narancia. Do you know where they are and why they disappeared?"
"Did you hear about Polpo's body? . . . They can't figure figure out how to cram his fat ass into the furnace. Ha ha ha! They're going to have to cut him into tiny pieces to get him in!"
"Why didn't your crew show up at the capo's funeral?! Answer me, Narancia! If I can't tail you then I'll make you tell me everything!
Baby boy, if you'd stayed quiet and patient, you might have been able to follow Narancia to the vineyard without interruption.
He also has an unnecessary amount of knowledge on mosquitoes and arachnids.
Vol 3 VA, chp 34
"Mosquitoes can sense the carbon dioxide animals exhale. . . That's what's happening here. Aerosmith is seeking out my carbon dioxide!"
The only thing I needed to know was that mosquitoes are little menaces that help transfer diseases and need to be smacked out of existence. I didn't want to know this extra CO² info, but thanks, I guess./s Did I want to read about spiders' digestive fluids killing their prey from the inside out on a random Tuesday night? No, not at all. But here we are. u.u
When the brainrot got worse, the anime and manga yielded superficial results. So, I'm glad the JoJo World Event gave us a bit more. In a Twitter translation of the La Squadra info, Formaggio was described as an insightful opportunist and aware of his comrades' deficits (condensed from image below). Good, because I'm going to need my emotional support hitman now. 🫴/lh
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Not gonna lie, Formaggio gave me "annoying jock" vibes initially when I took everything that I've mentioned into consideration. But seeing that he does pay more attention to others than they believe is somewhat... hmmm, comforting. In all earnesty, I would trust Formaggio to be a good judge of character or a human lie detector.
This part's not important, but I don't like the majority of his design. In the manga, he's given orange hair, and while I understand his name means "cheese," the grey in the anime helps bring contrast from the rest of his outfit that focuses on a red top and brown pants.
Like his Stand, he's very unassuming, but there's this slow burn effect that endeared this character to me. Formaggio still isn't my favorite among La Squadra, but I think about him a lot sometimes. u.u
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⭐️ My work is for entertainment and personal purposes. Do not take, translate, repost, or use it for profit. Don't take it seriously.
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idealspawn · 10 months
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i think its probably good that he is on his 2 week europe trip. we made plans for after his trip so i feel secure. he told me he trusts me. i trust him too. i was afraid i dont trust myself not to disconnect w my feelings but i think its fine now. i therapized myself out of it :d. i think we both need breathing room. i also need to get sober for a while, fuck. that has def messed me up. we met up one last time before he left too and he took pics of me w his film camera. he is convinced that im photogenic though im not.... he taught me how to use the camera too! we also visited a local church and listened to the organ music there. it was beautiful. ive been massively inhaling therapy videos on how to self-regulate and allow breathing room in a relationship. also how to maintain a distinct identity whilst being together with someone. it has helped me immensely. i also have actually returned back to my hobbies and read diff essays abt my personal interests like philosophy and religion and the art of translating literature. i rediscovered old video games i used to play w my sister, that is insanely healing. ive drawn a lot and listened to lots of new music and made new cool playlists. i watched some anime too! ive met up w my friends that i havent seen in such a long time and ive been such a great host. i invited my 8 girl friend group over and we made spring rolls together and mojitos and got high and played cool board and card games. it was so refreshing. i also invited my closest friend over and we went riding w bikes at night and climbed on the walls surrounding a manor near my home. not sure if legal but we also jumped in their backyard and ran around. it was so beautiful. we also did lots of other fun stuff. i saw poppies! my fav flower. also bats!!! the reflection of the moon on a river was so beautiful. it was so nice that my sister came over for a day too. i saw two of her friends briefly too and they were so nice to me! today ill be going out of my comfort zone a fuck ton too. my friend is hosting her bday party in her countryside home that is far away and i havent even figured out my transportation back. i will stay there for 3 days. loose ends like that used to freak me the fuck out but i think ill be fine. its an old house so it doesnt really allow me to follow all my insane rituals but i think i need to train myself to be okay w it. most ppl are sleeping in tents but i can be in the house bc i literally dont have a tent but that also probably would make me panic a bit too much. too many new things at once isnt good either i think. im actually doing fine. its nice. surprising that ive done things and im doing things and i havent died although most of my life ive literally feared i would. like not yet discussing why i shut down when the guy im seeing tried to be intimate and postponing it for after his trip.. i used to NEVER be able to do that. like i couldnt for the life of me sit w the uncomfortable emotion. like my entire life used to stop until i could regulate through the other person and vocalize it. but now ive just like. organized my brain. and self-soothed myself and i feel safe that he wont immediately leave me just bc of one difficult situation with an ambiguous meaning. and that the issue can be put on pause and when he returns we can talk about it.
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thebwarch · 1 year
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I watch anime with the buds often with anime group watch nights, last night we did a first episode spree to check out some new things. (Even though we very much shouldn’t have since we’re watching like ten other things, but it’s too fun to do. Appeals to the ADHD.) Check out the first episode, and decide if we wanna watch the show just based on that first impression. I prefer the Madoka Test for truly testing shows (3 episodes) but, first episodes work out real nice for group watch nights.
“Akiba Maid War” - Good first impression, fun concept I'm dying to know where it goes, what a crazy little almost plot twist. (Being told ANYTHING about the anime will make it less surprising, but we went in pretty blind and it *was* surprising.) I just like seeing maid outfits so. This was a pretty easy slam dunk for our group. Be in for an actionful gore-y time. Not saying much about the plot since it’s funner that way. Great pacing and scene direction.
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"Reincarnated as a Sword" - A dude dies, is reincarnated into an RPG fantasy world as a big sword. He's actually very fine with it and I couldn't possibly emphasize enough how much the thought of being a human again never crosses his mind. He's so gung-ho on being a sword from now on it's funny. Kinda an enjoyable change of pace from “Oh noooo I’m not human anymore I must get back to human ASAP” Also he frees a catgirl slave and she's gonna wield him from now on. I am very annoyed at the game UI bits as often as they came up. Videogame anime is gonna annoy me a lot probably when they think they’re absolute GENIUSES putting game UI in and acting like it’s cool.
The pacing is all over the place, The jokes barely land, this has a penny for a budget. But it's kind of charming and I like the catgirl. Maybe more??? If nothing else was happening then this would be a watch but. There is so much actually fantastic stuff airing right now or recent that we’re probably gonna let this one stay buried in the backburner.
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"Do It Yourself!!" - I love this one the most outta the pile, kind of a surprise hit with the watch group since nobody had really heard about it. It's sorta Eizouken-esque (though I didn't watch Eizouken).
A DIY club of a few schoolgirls forms of just learning how to put things together and DIY. The main girl is aimless and sleepy and flunked out of her chosen vocational school for a lesser one. She barely even knows what she wants to do but sees a woman doing carpentry and wants to try it. She has a tsundere next door neighbor who she is begrudging pals with and thinks that if she builds a bench between their houses they'll hang out more again. I love the main character’s design and the general show style is very good. Very nicely animated. It’s just cozy as a watch, nothing incredible, but purely enjoyable.
I’ve had a long-time ignoring of slice of life anime up until this season between Bocchi the Rock! and this. Both of them are hitting the right buttons to keep me entertained and not bored.
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A quick list of everything I’m watching: Bocchi the Rock!, Chainsaw Man, Mob Psycho III, My Hero Academia S6, The Executioner And Her Way Of Life, Spy X Family Cour 2. This season of anime is insane and has way more shows I’m paying attention to than normal.
 I’m TRYING to get back to finishing Vivy and Flip Flappers, and I recently finished up watches of Death Note/Devilman OVA/Call of the Night/Gunsmith Cats OVA.
I’m reading through Devilman as well and considering just talking about all the adaptations of that series compared to the original manga, it’s interesting all the different ways the adaptations went. Anyway toodles thanks for reading!!
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b-dubs-valdubs · 2 years
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Oooo! I love your fools gold au!!!
Does Cub have a place in all this?
And what do they farm on Gem and TFCs farm?
Also im obssesed with scars betrayal of bdubs... bdubs mustve felt shattered since scar was the only person he felt he could trust as he desended into madness and paranoia... how was bdubs mental health holding up after he got knocked out of power?
hihiii sorry for not answering asks in a while but. i want you to know that This Last Part was the reason why i spent so much time making new lore!!!!!
but first, the other things! cub has a huge part to play in helping the resistance to execute their plan. he couldnt join it himself due to injury yet gave them a place to meet up and discuss their plans! cub owns a tavern, and due to the economic crisis of bdubs's reign, it was less crowded than usual (but it was still being used as a communal area). cub allowed the resistance to have their meetings in the wine cellar, which is pretty based of him
on the farm they farm (hah): crops (such as wheat, carrots, other leguminous plants, and fruit; basically, any crops you can think of, they have managed to get their hands on!); and animals (they make sure to treat the animals ethically though <3). their farm property is rather big, and so they are the main food provider for the kingdom. during bdubs's reign, the farm gave out rations to the families who really need it, like a donation centre, which then inspires Someone to do Something... but more on that later...
and. oh my bdubs..... we have come up with so much new lore because of this ask... so buckle up cos it's going to get a bit crazy... make sure to read the tags first !!!
so bdubs really wasn't in the best mental state during his reign, and this only worsened after he was overthrown. as entertainment at ren's re-coronation, he was put into a pillory. he had to watch everybody turn on him and he never felt more alone. after the ceremony was over, ren grabbed bdubs and made him the royal jester to the king, locking him up in the dungeon.
bdubs spent a total of five years there; the king would torture him to try and get him to hate himself and what he did to the kingdom, until after two years, it became too much. the king punished him for what he attempted to do, but etho had found out, and was outraged at the king.
they have a lot of history with bdubs, having fought together in the Red War (more on that later), and had only just found out what awful things the king was doing to him. every day after that, they came and visited him, bringing him food to try and ward off the starvation, soft blankets, and soap to clean him and care for him.
meanwhile, the relationship between etho and the king became more strained; the king was certainly not happy that etho was trying to "interfere with the prisoner", sanctioning them and giving them multiple chores around the castle to try and keep them busy. they kept coming back to bdubs, every night, no matter what.
eventually, bdubs got an infection through one of his wounds, and etho had to try and get the medic to save him. scar worked alongside the medic, healing bdubs, and etho could see that "oh, he does actually care about him still..."
scar joined the little visiting group shortly after that, and eventually, they helped bdubs escape.
scar used hypnosis magic to get the guards to give him the keys, while etho distracted members of the royal court with a dinner. after bdubs was outside of the castle grounds, scar gave him a magic cloak, weaved of moss and lichen, which would make him harder to see as he escaped.
first, he went to his old house before he became king - where his brother and mum used to live. he found it completely empty, but all of their stuff was still in place. he didn't want to stay there any longer - he knew full well what had happened while he was away.
bdubs had to travel through the city, knocking on all of the doors, begging for food and shelter. but he was rarely given anything more than a kick and a "fuck off". until, that is, he reached gem's farm, who took him in and helped him to recover.
anyways, more lore happens after that... i just did a badly written run-down of what me and @breakable-glassbirds had made surrounding that!! hope you like the new lore :grin:
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boilingheart · 2 years
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cw: suicidal thoughts //
idk how to do a read more on mobile sorry otherwise I'd crop it. I told myself I wouldn't vent about shit like this heavy and personal online anymore but I'm not doing so good and I need to put it somewhere
I'm not very healthy and I'm not very happy. I'm not doing so good mentally. Financially things suck really bad, I've been eating one meal a day for the past 3 months and I can't fall asleep until it's at least 5-6AM. I fixed my sleep schedule last week and it only lasted 2 days. It's almost 9AM that I write this and I haven't slept
My shoulder hurts again and I think it's because I got lazy on physical therapy. I'm scared ill dislocate it again. I hurt my knee at work last week and I hurt it again a few days ago and right now the whole muscle is swollen and sore and tender and I limp when I walk. I'm 24 and I feel so breakable and weak, I have no muscle, I'm too fucking tall, and I feel like any one of my bones are going to pop out of their sockets. I still have to go to work and get my license and do other things but how can I if my shoulder feels so weak? It's recovering from a dislocation still but it feels like it got worse, not to mention my trapezius has been getting pins and needles daily for no reason and no treatment has worked and my doctor doesn't know what's causing it
Somethings wrong with my skin too. I think it's eczema, I hope that's all it is, but it's the worst it's ever been. My whole left arm is completely discolored and dry and itchy and it's starting to spread on more of my body in ways I've never seen. I'm scared it'll get to my face next
I am so so uncomfortable. There's no space in my house. There's 5 of us in one house and we all fucking hate each other and There's 3 animals and there's no food and even if there is I'm too scared to go out there to eat bc my parents sleep in the living room cause there's no space for them anywhere and they fight daily and if I pass by one of them I'll aggro them and get stuck in a 2 hour lecture of some alt right bullshit or terf shit or thinly veiled misogynistic or racist takes I can't stand it
You know that phrase you can lead a horse to water but you can't force it to drink? I'm the horse. And I don't want to drink anything. I know all of my problems. I'm not working on a single project because I have no discipline and no motivation and unmedicated ADHD that's so bad it makes me wanna fucking end it. I have so many things I want to do but no drive. I'm passionate about things but not enough. I'm not going to sleep early I'm not eating or drinking I'm not exercising or doing physical therapy I'm not going for walks and getting sunlight I'm not maintaining myself beyond brushing my teeth every night, and showering when it's time to go to work and doing my job as required. I know everything I'm doing wrong. I know that what I'm doing is making everything worse. I know that I could be making it better for myself. But I dont... care anymore? I shouldn't be scratching my arms but I stopped caring about that I just want relief and I don't care the cost. I stay up late and let myself cause I just want the satisfaction of finishing this video or whatever it is I'm doing. Everything is numb. People will tell me what I need to be doing so I can stop and I'll know they're 100% correct and that I need to listen but I don't. I don't have it in me anymore for some reason. I don't know why it's so hard to just so it. I don't know. I don't know if it's executive dysfunction or depression or disassociation or what.
And thing is. I've told myself years ago I'd never kill myself. Cause like, I have so much I need to do, so much on the line, people I need to take care of, things I want to do, a lot of things to live for. I wrote down a list of things to live for that took up 2 pages, and it helped me a lot. Kept me centered and focused. I am not allowed to die because I have so much on the line. I am not allowed to.
But recently I found myself looking at this list of mine, of thinking about all these things, and... it invokes no emotion in me. I look at my long ass list of reasons to live and it does nothing for me. I don't care about them anymore??? It feels so empty. And I know that's bad. But I feel so detached and removed. I am in constant pain and constant stress and I can't lay on my right shoulder anymore cause it hurts and that sucks cause that's my favorite sleeping position, I'm always hungry and I'm always tired and I wake up at 3-4PM always and I have so many things to do to write to draw to create to record but it's not enough. It's not enough anymore. Nothing is enough. I have no drive or motivation. I don't have anything to look forward to. My goal is to move me and my siblings out of this house next year as an escape because I know this household is so unbelievably horrifically toxic and abusive that it will LITERALLY kill us if we stay here longer so I feel bad and selfish giving up before getting us out of here bc it's up to me to make sure I get us out. But I don't want to perform all this maintenance on myself anymore. I'm too lazy and cowardly to fully kill myself in one go but. I don't want to try anymore. I want to give up. I'm very very alone and I don't have irl friends and I have such a horrible way of communicating with people/friends online that I have. I keep everyone at an arms length I don't know how to be friends or reach out, I don't know how to navigate in a social space if I'm not an authority figure like a mod and that's a whole other pack of problems that comes from my inferiority complex. I don't know. I don't know. I need to say this somewhere and I'm sorry for anyone who's reading this and seeing how heavy and personal it is. I meant to stop doing this shit online already which is why I've been silent so much here but. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired. And I don't know what to do. I need help but I know that I'm the only one who can help myself because I'm the horse and I need to drink but I don't want to. I would rather drown in it. I would rather drown and I don't know what to do. I know it's bad and wrong and unhealthy all of it but I just can't stop I can't stop. I am not okay. I need help and I don't know how to get it. Nothing is accessible out here. I'm a tiger in a cage and I'm going to die here. I'm letting myself rot and decay. I'm going to die here.
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kuwupikaa · 16 days
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Tagged by @applescabs thankyouu <3
Are you named after anyone?
No, I'm told my parents thought really long about my name until my mom woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly just knew.
When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday lmao, after finishing gankutsuou. (And saturday after watching an ep of gankutsuou, and last wednesday when I went to see the Aida musical...)
Do you have kids?
Nope, maybe someday maybe not.
Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Not really, when I'm in a certain mood with friends then yes but otherwise I just say what I mean.
What sports do you play?
I have a horse so horseriding, aside from that I don't really do sports. I used to do sailing until I was 16, and now I do it ocassionally with a friend or with my dad, and I used to do streetdance when I was little. I do love to hike though! Always loved the adventurous vacations my parents used to take me n my siblings on and we'd go for hikes through forests and mountains, I'd love to do that again sometime.
What's the first thing you notice about people?
I'm not sure actually, the way people talk maybe? I often pay attention to eye color as well for some reason.
What's your eye color?
Brown, a little darker than my dad and a little lighter than my brother :)
Scary movies or happy endings?
Both? I like all kinds of movies. Though I never watch scary movies alone lmao no fun in getting scared if you can't laugh about it with someone else. Happy endings always make me very emotional, especially if it's done well. Tho endings in general are pretty emotional to me, no matter if it's happy or not.
Any special talents?
Remembering song lyrics! If there's a song that I, anywhere in my life, knew completely, there's a big chance I still do. I learn pretty quick too, considering I memorized a song from the aida musical last week in like. 3 days. (I do have to mention those were a few days of non stop listening to it)
Where were you born?
Netherlands! Specifically a very small town in north Holland, all the way at the top of the province. It's located above sea level on what used to be an island up until about 200 years ago, and now that I've moved out I live in a different small town on that same island (like 3 km from my parents house).
What are your hobbies?
Drawing, reading, listening to music and picking out background instruments, playing piano (tho I don't do it so often anymore), watching anime, playing games (esp totk and genshin atm) and I really enjoy being outside with my dog or my horse or just being in nature in general.
Do you have any pets?
My sweet puppy hannah (she's 5 and huge but still forever a puppy), my cats samson and gert (named after a belgium tv show for kids) and me and my sister have two horses named mira and april. Mira is almost 24 and deep deep inside really sweet but can be kinda mean on the outside and april is almost 13 and loves cuddling :). I'm almost everyday at my parents house so I think those pets count too, so there's billie and borre (two dogs), kebab and bobbie (sheep), scooby (cat who is 10? Older? Idk) and the 5 chickens who don't really have names so we just call them "the chickies". Also Teddie's cat tijger is staying with me atm and he's a cutie :).
How tall are you?
1 meter 68, which I'm totally fine with. Tho it is a little weird that my little brother who's 7 years younger is taller than me now.
Favorite subject in school?
I didn't really have one tbh, but if I had to choose probably english? That one was the easiest for me so I didn't mind it.
Dream job?
My dream is to live on a small farm consisting of a little house with some property around it for my animals, and to spend my days doing my silly hobbies and spending a lot of time outside walking my dog or riding my horse. So whatever job I can do that makes enough money and enough free time :) I'd pass away before working a fulltime job tbh. I'm studying rn so maybe I can set smth up for myself once I have my diploma, but idk yet.
Whoever wants to do this too consider yourself tagged!!
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momi1816 · 1 year
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pt.13:
in the posts of being broken hopefully this is the last one. first of all thank you for reading.
so about 2 years ago I had met my ex Kyler. (yes I'm putting his name because that douche does not deserve respect or privacy). but we met may 2020 on a dating app. right when everything was basically shut down but not. we hit it off so great right off the bat. called each other basically right when we matched. his profile showed he had a alt look, lots of tattoo, said he was a dad and a tattoo artist. immediately intrigued. but we had talked and decided to meet right away so meeting up with him everything just felt so comfortable and easy. ill admit we moved fast but everything just felt right. I knew his past, he knew mine and still didn't judge each other. I had an incident where one of my aunt's friends boyfriends was in relapse and tried moving my hand to a certain place. forcefully grabbing my hand. when telling Kyler it was an immediate reaction of protection so that just sealed the deed in a way. I wasn't until a couple months in dating and living together and playing house things switched. but I didn't see the flags at that point. there was a lot of instances of him driving my van and being out late at night. didn't think anything of it because of being head over heels. and then days he would drop me off at work or surprise me at work with different gifts. so I was tickled pink. he'd drive up and id have "that's him" written all over my face and expressed in my body language. but also him telling me he was a tattoo artist and said he was going to use my daughters iPad for work and buy her the newest and bigger one. yeah never happened. don't come for me.
things didn't start coming in clear till about august 2020. we had what was called a derecho, basically a land hurricane. I live in Iowa you can look it up, but I believe the winds got as high as 140mph. it was very pretty and cool to watch while in the salon. he was at home. I had a client in my chair and the electricity started to flicker. the midwest in me was like "ooooo do it again!". as well as I wanted to be at the front doors to watch if not go outside to play in the rain. but I had just finished the clipper part of the guys haircut and boom. electricity was gone. so him basically with a bowl cut, I used the pop socket of my phone with the flashlight on to finish the cut. and so it was done. the storm went on for about 45 mins. cars were being lifted up in the parking lot. people drove up closer to the building to seek shelter. you couldn't but see 6-8 ft out in front of you. it was nuts but beautiful. I called him to see how he was including the animals. he said our home was rocking and he didn't feel safe so he was going to drive to me. which my home to the salon is like 10 mins but the storm wasn't slowing down. there was a moment I opened the door to see everything. again midwest in me. the door flung open so hard I'm surprised in stayed on the hinges including the glass didn't break. all of us pulled the door shut and just watched. and not long I could see in coming. he parked like a complete dick. using 3 spots parking slanted. he got out the passenger door and explained he caused a dent in the driver door. my OCD was going nuts. so I ran out and fixed the parking as well as showed him I could get the driver door open. he then told me the story of how the giant dent happened which is not all that important. but going home like I said was pretty much a 10 mins drive. going to go get my daughter from daycare and going home took about 2 hours. the whole city and nearby cities lost power. power lines were down and broken. half of our tree population is gone. it was divesting and they city was about to go nuts. getting home Kyler had came to me telling me a tree had fell on his mom's house and he needed to go help so of course I told him to go. he got picked up somewhere I just remember him walking down the street. my place had no power for 5 days. some of the city was out for 2 weeks. but all my friends had came to my house because I was the only one with a gas stove so that entire week I fed everyone. we ate my fridge and their own. it was a fun time.
on day 5, my friends boyfriend and I were on the porch just talking about our relationships. I don't remember where she was but Kyler had walked up and I was so happy to see him. he had came to me with a proposition. he said one of his buddies had a generator and he seemed excited so then we could have power. the only thing was the guy wanted to do a trade for a TV supposedly. *** this relationship mad me very blind and I was groomed to follow orders and if I didn't I was the bad guy. he was a domestic abuser narcissistic douche who was also an addict on a cocktail of pills*** I had a tv in the living room which we were rarely in, so I had agreed and not even minute later the power turned on. and I guarantee that was a sign to be like nope back out, but I didn't listen and gave him the TV. I shouldn't have but I did no changing it. as time went on, he still didn't come back. he was very distant but I tried keeping my mind clear and happy. not over thinking until it was September and telling one of my coworkers the situation and she gave me the "oh hunny look" and of course I made excuses so she went on his Facebook and he was in a relationship... this one just one instance of him leaving and making a whole new life. he came back and asked to come home a month later he's done that every time. lying about the reason of leaving and it was another girl.
in October , him being back at my house, just friends. he was talking to another girl. I was hurt but didn't show it. I tried moving on. and one night I worked near where the girl lived and I had asked him if he needed a ride back to the house to get clothes since I was over there and he said no that he'd come soon. and he did. he grabbed clothes gave me a hug goodbye. grabbed his 1/2oz of weed and left. not but a 30 mins later he called saying they got pulled over and of course his dumbass put the weed in the same compartment as the registration and insurance info. and he had a warrant for his arrest. I never knew about that. apparently he left the halfway house a month early. but the phone call was just a lot of apologies and I love you. very much a call to get me wrapped around again and it worked. when I'm with someone I am very much a ride or die and will go to the ends of this god forsaken planet to make sure my man is happy. and him being in jail especially during covid I tried my best to do what I could. I called every bondsman to see about getting him out. I contact news stations on how the jail were not taking precautions or anything. I picked up hours so I could make more in tips so any cash tips I would go down to the jail to put them on his commissary. I was making sure he was definitely doing and eating good while in there. on days I could, three times, my daughter and I went around the building to whatever block he was on so he could see us just so it would make his day. I wrote a letter everyday so he had something to read and printed out pictures for him also. calling the prison he could have possibly went to get the status and calling his appointed lawyer. again, putting him on a pedestal. but he was in there until January. and he had purposed while being in there also.
but I'm just gonna sum up so there's not so much. he completely broke me and there were so many flags its unreal how long I stayed around. putting him on phone plans, buying phones apple watches shoes outfits anything and everything while finding out repeatedly other girls, more drugs, cheating, lying and so much distrust. money just given or taken without asking. opening and closing bank accounts. damage to my home, my car and my heart. until April 2021 I moved on to a new guy. great guy, fantastic even. Kyler had found out and he vowed to ruin any relationship I got into and so far he's made that happen. so breaking it off with the guy. because he had asked me to wait for him till he was ready and again still under his spell. then one day a girl showed up to my house asking where he was and I told her the truth. I told her who I was. the cat was entirely out of the bag and she was ready to fight him. he never came home that night till 4am. to which she had gone home. but he came home, now he's not a touchy person unless he did something wrong or wants something. and that morning he crawled in bed. spooning me very close, nestling his head in my neck. saying I love u and miss u. and all I said was Alyssa was very pretty and he asked who Alyssa was and all I said was anamosa.
he got out of that bed so quickly to call her and he was screaming calling me an obsessive ex and psycho and not to believe a word I said. I was tired of hearing it so I went out to confront him. not sure who hung on who but coming out he said I needed to fix it. I said no. to which he kicked a hole in the island and hit the lamp on the island so hard unfortunately i was in the line of fire. he did get in my face before going to the room withholding my car keys. I still have the recordings of that day just to be safe... but to speed forward. that day because of the situation I lost my job =, my car broke down and I became a broken purse even bigger than when I was 15 dealing with everything. not long after that day he went back with Alyssa and I didn't hear from him until July. again him coming back and with that my son was made...
I tried to include him, telling him everything when times were everything and he only went to the very last appointment. in January we tried to be together for about 2 weeks and with the love triangle we were in he had to go back to her because she was threatening her life and so taking him there we got in a bad tone car crash. guy ran a red light hitting his and my daughters side of the car spinning my car into another car. he got out of the car due to him being a felon with a gun and he had perks on him. when calling to check to see if he was okay, he did not ask how I was ,our son, or my daughter. all he asked is why I did that. blaming me for the crash... that along with other points should have been my final straw.... but coming to the last two weeks of the pregnancy, trying again, things see to rekindle he had repurposed and I told him not right now due to our past. but the day my waterbroke he wouldn't wake up until hitting his back to wake him up for us to go. he was rarely at the hospital. was not there for birth he was too worried about who knows what. he used my debit card and ebt card while being laid up. he brought I assume Alyssa into my house. I have a video doorbell. and telling him I know and him just calling me a psycho bitch for everything and it getting to the point my nurse heard our phone argument telling the day nurse what happened and making excuses to make sure he wouldn't physically hurt me. after that day he went ghost again till 6 weeks after birth to do a "checkup" which basically was to see if I had money. and since the hospital he has met my son 3 times.. I told him the last time hearing from him that I was not going to have an in and out father and haven't heard from him sense....
to contine on with my mom, because of Kyler, my mom wanted to put a conservationship over me, call DHS on me, degrades me still, wanted to get a rape kit done and to this day throws in my face how stupid I was when she will never get it. everything Is a competition to her. she will bring up her dad and be like "well least your dad didn't hit you" or with the Kyler situation tell me her relationship with my dad was a domestic violence relationship and that she gets it. she doesn't if she did she would judge so harshly. I have been in therapy a year now and its helped a little. finding new people through social media has helped. getting back into my art has also helped. and now this... so thank you for reading my story... all I ask is that please understand who I am and how I work but do not let this change your thinking of me. that girl 13 on to 6 months ago is dead and I'm in my villain stage... I'm back... from the dead my original self and boy it is freeing... far as with my mom once I pay off my place to her I will have the option to cut her out if need to be so she can stop throwing in my face that shell evict me just because she didn't get her way that day..
thank you for being here for my ted talk...
xoxo
momi <3
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sea-anon · 3 years
Text
Me 99% of the time: head empty, feral, lowkey stupid
Me any time someone wants to talk about a book/literary analysis: genius, knows several words, a gentleman
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soft-boi-eli · 3 years
Note
Hello Hello!
I just wanted to say I love your fics!
ALSO!
Could I request a CC!SBI X Gn! Insomniac Reader! Where the reader is an insomniac (Obviously-) but is somehow a pro at MC!
Like they are basically god at the game! They also REALLY enjoy horror games! They don’t get scared easily and LOVE horror movies! They basically love anything horror/creepy-
ANYWAYS!!
The reader lives off of ramen and Monster energy drinks (For fun-)! They have a Twitch (Which has about 18 mil followers and 14 mil subs!) and a YouTube channel (Which has 20 mil followers!)
They mainly play horror games (Obviously-) and MC!
You can do headcanons or scenarios/images with the SBI! Maybe like playing a horror game together or MC? OR! Maybe some things they do together? Or when they meet up? Or-to many ideas Nightmare-
ANYWAYS!
I don’t really care! And don’t worry about taking too long on it!
ALSO!
Maybe we could be friends? Only if you want too!
Remember to eat, drink, and get enough sleep!
<3
Yes. I lovesthese ideas and I'm gonna choose headcannons due to they are a bit easierfor me to write.
And yes I'm perfectly fine with being your friend! I'm actually happy to make friends on this app so yeah!
Pronouns:nonbinary
Tw: cussing. Insomia, mentions of horror movies. Mention of horror games. Fluff.
SBI with a horror streamer friend head cannons.
*Ahem* tommy wanted to paly a game with you so you choose a game that didn't look like horror until the middle. He screamed at the jump scare and it made both of your chats so happy.
When phil decides to play with you there is literally a silence after a jump scare. Everyone thought he had a heart attack and honestly so did you until he spoke up about accidently hitting his mute button when he jumped.
Wilbur. He's a bit better then tommy but more scared then phil would be. Any little noise won't get him but when it starts to get noticeable the noiseless to him. The jump scare, he'd fall out of his seat and stay on the ground for a bit. You ask if he's good and he literally doesn't answer. He's dead. You killed him. Congrats.
Techno. He'd handle them a bit better then everyone else. Not as good as you but heisnt very paranoid. He literally runs at the noises trying to get jumpscared. While you run after him telling him to stop because if he doesn't then you'd lose and die. And technoblade never dies.
If you all play together both tommy and wilbur pussy out. Techno last the longest and phil the second longest. While you remain the ruler of horror games.
Now how you all met was dream invited you to the dream smp to add to the chaos. Needless to say it got extremely chaotic due to you being on almost 24 hours. You first ran into techno. He seemed confused and skeptical.
You both found eachothers love for potatoes. You set up camp quote close to techno but not too close.
Phil popped in when he needed something for a build and noticed a new name. Talked to you in chat and asked to join your VC. You both found each other talking for a bit.
Wilbur was next. Wilbur got curious over the new person and just hoppedinto the same VC as you techno and phil. He was quick to realize that you were a famous youtuber. Mainly for your horror videos and your extreme Parkcore skills.
In minecraft that is.
Tommy noticing that all of you were in the same VC joined in with shouting. He was low key jealous that everyone was obsessed with you. Then he saw why.
You literally cracked jokes at his shouting.
"Is that an angry pomeranian? Nah nah. It's an angry child. Even better an angry blonde!" - you.
He was shocked and immediately started joking and laughing with you. He wasn't fully angry for long.
Now about your diet. When they heard that you had only eaten ramen and drank angry drinks they were concerned. You lived quite close to techno so when you guys met up he was shocked that you looked as healthy as you did.
He hated the fact that you literally didn't eat anything else.
You told him occasionally you have something other then ramen but you were just too lazy to really cook anything and that you didn't feel like burning the house down.
One month phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno decided to organize a month long sleep over so that they could celebrate your birthday. Phil being quote the father figure cooked different, but easy dinners every night just so you didn't eat only ramen that day.
When they actually arrived though you got a text from Phil asking about your address in your dms. Not think much of it you just sent him your location.
You were going to take a small nap. Just to bost your energy before you went and streamed later that night.
As you were sleeping there was a car heading to your house.
Phil, wilbur, tommy, and techno were all just existing in the car. And when they arrived to your house they didn't expect to actually see a clean house.
You woke to a loud knock.
When you opened the door in your half dazed state you expected a package. But to see four people standing on your porch.
You nearly jumped out of your skin.
You were stuck there blinking at them.
Finally snapping out of it you let them in. Confused on why in the ever loving fuck they were here.
Phil explained they were here to celebrate your 21st birthday and they were here for a month.
You stared at them for a while. Confused on what to do since you haven't had people over in almost 2 years.
But you got use to it.
So when you got done streaming and smelled something other then ramen you were thrown off guard. Like what was that. I haven't smelled that in years.
But after the second day you got use to it too.
For your birthday phil literally made a feast.
Like he found your favorite food other then ramen and cooked it. With that he prepared everything you could dream of.
Your sleeping habits. Let's dig into those.
I'm in no place to talk as right now it's 3:05 in the morning. And here I am.
But when they are over they don't let you stay up till no 3-4 in the morning. They all know the importance of sleep.
But there are those nights where no once can sleep and it results in a late night stream. And streaming for hours none the less.
The amount of accidental all nighters everyone has pulled was immense. But that's what happens with jet lag, adhd, and insomnia.
Literally you get tired randomly. Sleep for only 3 hours. Wake up. Drink coffee, energy drinks, highly caffeinated tea. And don't sleep till late at night.
Pillow forts.
It's a must and it happens. Horror movies, pillow forts, and snacks. Like you all are in this massive fort, watching horror movies, one by one you all are falling asleep. You and techno were the last up due to technos active mind and your body not letting you sleep.
You two literally just vide there, changing the movies from horror to some silly animated movies, like how to train your dragon, frozen, Luca, and many others.
You two pull an all nighter and it's actually a bet to see how long anyone else takes to notice.
You bet an hour. Techno says all day.
You won. Philza notices the worse eye bags under both you and technos eyes and immediately starts scolding.
He is papa bird and he won't let anyone of his children neglect their needs.
"Did you even drink water at all? You guys should of been sleeping not binge watching horror movies all night!" -philza
You could only offer a smirk, along with a laugh.
"I think we did I just can't fully remember. Also we were watching animated films. Not horror. Surprised you didn't wake up to let it go." - you.
You turn to techno.
"You owe me 15 bucks pig boy!"-you again.
Handing you the money he rolls his eyes. "Yeha yeah. Rub it in." -techno.
Ah yeah they found a horror game that you were scared of surprisingly. It was actually surprisingly you hadn't played it yet.
Outlast.
You had been holding off that game until you finished your other one but here you were. Bored out of your mind.
So you decided fuck it.
That game teriffed the shit out of you. It was so good though.
When you screamed they all came rushing up due to the fact that you never scream.
They say you out of your chair, on the floor, blinking. They thought you were hurt.
But you sat up and looked at your computer.
"Damn. That was actually really good." When you looked behind you and found the boys all staring you smiled and waved.
"You need something?"-you
"You screamed. We heard a thud. We thought you fuckin died!" -tommy.
"No I'm alive. My soul almost divorced my body but it's still quite here."-you
That day made highlights.
The popular y/n actually got jump scared. The one person who never screamed at horror games screamed.
When they left you were sad yes but they were still your best friends. Ready to talk when ever you want.
Sometimes I think that you guys talk all through out the night. Them forgetting that you were actually in a different time zone.
Sometimes they pop into your streams, be it MC, horror, you just talking to your fans, or even the once in the blue moon, cheerful games.
They just pop in and start talking to you. And you talk back like they were there since the beginning.
Phil is now one of your moderators too. Along with tommy, wilbur, and techno. When they pop in they make sure no one picks on you.
And since you are now close to the SBI. You are now part of it.
You didn't choose the fans did. But they are your new family. No matter what.
Even if they disagree with your eating habit.
Or energy drink addiction.
Or insomnia.
Or you mainly playing horror games.
Or you basically living in your streaming room.
Or even the nearly 24 hour streams.
I could go on but I'm not gonna.
I'm tired. But I can sleep. 2 days and I get to have a tour of my new school.
And it took so long to finally get into it.
We have been going through a huge hassle even before school started to get me enrolled.
And then we had to get me into this program.
But now on Monday I get to go in. Get a tour. Then start either Tuesday or Wednesday.
Anyway hope you liked. It's now 3:50 and it's no proof read I'm sorry
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sitp-recs · 3 years
Note
hi love! i would hate to overwhelm you with a new ask BUT... i kind of binge-read all the fics you recced for that one anon who asked for short fics (like 15k and below) in a concerningly short amount of time, so... i have come to shamelessly beg for more :3 i am entirely too besotted with your blog and your taste in fic is simply *chef's kiss*, there is no one else i'd rather ask for this (this is it this is me begging) THANK YOU IN ADVANCE, YOU ABSOLUTE GODSEND xx
Hello my darling, and thanks so much for the kind words and for trusting my fic taste! I had so much fun putting that first bedtime reclist together and it was a pleasure to build another one for you ❤️ this one includes some light angst (happy endings only!), hope that’s okay? Heres another full month of bedtime reads!
halcyon days by @the-starryknight (2020, T, 1.4k)
Sleepy mornings caught while the sun rises are reserved for silly word games and soft touches and feelings.
Almost-but-not-quite by @pineau-noir (2020, G, 2k)
Immediately following the Battle of Hogwarts Draco Malfoy stumbles across the last Time-Tuner in existence.
Secretly, between the shadow and the soul by @teacup-tai (2021, T, 3k)
The thing about surrender is that once you accept the unavoidable rhythm of change, the surprising uncontrollability of life, and the astonishing inevitability of feelings, it is easy.
Out to Sea by @onbeinganangel (2021, T, 3k)
A story about what happens when you cast your net and catch more than expected.
Between the Power Lines by @tackytigerfic (2020, M, 3k)
For Harry Potter, all roads eventually lead to Draco Malfoy.
Enjoy the Silence by @shealwaysreads (2021, M, 3.4k)
Draco stops speaking, gets some tattoos, and discovers that Harry’s happy to be quiet with him.
Living It Up (while you're going down) by @phd-mama (2019, E, 3.8k)
Draco's been yearning for Harry Potter for years, but somehow the time has never been quite right...until tonight.
Sun Stroke by @peachpety (2020, E, 4k)
Draco, Harry, and a handful of friends take a summer holiday at the beach.
The Study of Change by @p1013 (2021, M, 4k)
Harry's going to hell. He's going to hell immediately.
Special Affinity by @skeptiquewrites (2020, E, 4k)
Auror partners Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy seem to have a special affinity for getting into convoluted accidental bonds.
Home is Where the Nifflers Are by @primavera-cerezos (2020, G, 4k)
Draco has a soft spot for animals with nowhere to go; soon his and Harry's small flat is bustling with adorable, semi-dangerous creatures.
Dinner and Diatribes by @ohdrarry (2021, E, 5k)
Socialising isn't Harry's thing. Draco does his best to help.
Garden War by @cibeewastaken (2020, T, 5k)
Harry and Draco are quarantined in their houses, a lake across from one another.
Still Warm, Still Warm by @tsauergrass (2021, G, 5k)
Harry is up to something. Why else would he keep giving Draco presents?
It Never Occurred to Me That I Would Fall in Love With a Frenchman by lamerezouille (2013, T, 6k)
Harry kisses Draco in a public place. All hell breaks loose.
All Tied Up by mynameisthunder (2020, M, 6k)
Blaise is determined to find out why the entrance to the Slytherin common room is acting up all of a sudden.
Stay (With Me) by @dorthyanndrarry (2021, M, 6.5k)
Harry and Draco have been seeing each other casually, whenever they bumped into one another at Galas and Balls and other social events, always keeping one another at a careful distance.
Crystal Clear by @icmezzo (2014, T, 6.7k)
Harry customizes a snow globe. Draco listens to centaur weather reports. Ron investigates the height of Pansy’s boots. And Hermione knows even more than everything, as usual.
(Un)Calculated Risk by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (2017, E, 7k)
He thought about the way Harry looked at him, smiled at him; about the way Draco’s head was nearly always full of him, all day every day, and about the way Draco sometimes deliberately went to bed still smelling of him, refusing to acknowledge what it meant – because he already fucking knew what it meant.
in a rambling way by @fw00shy (2021, T, 7.5k)
Ron knocked Hermione up, and now Harry's got to figure out how to clone himself so that his friends don't split up fighting over him. Falling for Draco again was never part of the plan.
check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous by @lqtraintracks (2014, E, 8k)
Harry's had a crush on Malfoy for months now. But it will take a bar full of his friends, some Firewhisky, wagers made on his behalf, and Malfoy himself to get him to act on it.
It's Not a Passing Fascination by @firethesound (2018, E, 9k)
One of Harry's favourite things is watching Malfoy work.
Marginal Notes by @blamebrampton (2010, G, 9k)
When you’re 18, and nothing is as it was meant to be, sometimes it can be hard to let the right people know what you are thinking.
Stand Back: I'm About to Perform Archaeology by Blowfish_Diaries (2018, E, 10k)
A new Muggle Studies professor takes the Eighth Year students to work on an archaeological excavation.
The Loathly Worm by Selden (2016, E, 12k)
When Draco Malfoy is forced to go undercover among the remaining Death Eaters in the aftermath of the war, the last person he expects to find there is Harry Potter.
Rumor Has It by emmagrant01 (2012, E, 11k)
Auror trainee Harry Potter does not have a crush on Draco Malfoy. He's just curious about why a former Death Eater is working for the Wizengamot, and that's all. Really.
Polar Night by hereticalvision (2012, E, 12k)
Still in recovery from their break-up, Harry and Draco must travel through the arctic conditions of Svalbard to catch the last Death Eater still at large.
In Which Harry is Magnetic North and Draco Is An Idiot by bryoneybrynn (2014, T, 13k)
For as long as he can remember, Draco’s been bringing fake dates to his family’s annual Yuletide celebration in order to evade his mother’s matchmaking.
Harry Potter and the Werewolf Consultant by 0idontknow0 (2014, E, 15k)
After Teddy transforms into a werewolf for the first time Harry and Andromeda don’t know what to do.
Lockdown Lurgy by @xanthippe74 (2020, T, 15k)
When a dangerous virus comes to Britain, the Ministry orders a mandatory lockdown to control its spread.
Hey, Potter by SunseticMonster (2013, M, 16k)
Harry returns to Hogwarts for his 8th year, determined not to let Malfoy get to him.
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