#I really need to update sprites but thank you for the ask!
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Trembling Essence:💙Script progress + Updates💙
Hello and welcome new followers, long time no see! I was very busy most of this month, but I am back and ready to continue from where I left off on the game! This game development post might be a bit long but I tried to condense everything! :]
"How are things going so far?":
It's going slow and steady! I haven't been able to do too much these past few weeks, however, I wrote a few parts out before I got too busy and couldn't do anything else.
I want to be very careful when it comes to spoilers but, based on your choices, some of these areas will give off immersive cozy/homelike vibes that really express Noah and the player(Y/N)'s view towards each other.
In the old 2023 script I was very new to writing so the small semi-hints of romance weren't the entire focus compared to the horror aspect but there's a better balance between both genres now and I'm still aiming for a meaningful slow burn versus it just being all over the place. :]
I liked writing them a whole bunch which lead to a lot of these taking place in the mid/end of Day 4+, they just need to be placed in specific areas that call for it. With that being said, it felt really comfy adding key details about Noah and creating meaningful sections in the game. I was even going to draw out some of the unseen script/scenes but I believe the best thing to do is give deeper lore from the [Extended Demo] first. Even though my writing style has improved I still have to fix the multiple pacing issues I wrote last year.
"Playtester's advice":
I wanted to continue working through Noah's backstory but I kept having moments where I'd get sidetracked into wanting to fix up the start of the game again. Eventually, I talked to my play testers about it and they gave me a few encouraging pointers.
To help keep my process at ease, I will fix the beginning of the game when I take breaks from writing up Noah's backstory. :]
I talked about this during early 2024 but the start of the game that leads up to the cabin is still getting reworked. I was able to get some of it fixed for the [Extended Demo] but I wasn't done.
Things are still up in the air but, I will say that I have a better view of everything than I did before. :]
Another priority that needs fixing are the backgrounds! I've improved a lot on drawing and they need to be optimized. When you first start up the game, you wake up in a holed out tree in the swamp with the choice to leave this area and possibly end up in the forest. I was going for a very immersive form of symbolism that only a few noticed but, I believe I can do a better job about this. Unfortunately I don't have any new backgrounds to show right now but maybe next week I'll have some finished up! :]
"Art process/Noah's sprite sheets":
As far as Noah sprite sheet goes, it's still in sketch mode.
I didn't draw anything since I was gone so I need to do a few warm ups before I get to them. There are some old drawing prompts I wrote down and old sketches that I never got a chance to doodle so hopefully I can get to them at some point with some attached lore. :,]
My Q&A / Ask box has been reset!
Thank you to those who have sent in asks in the past, unfortunately they all disappeared except for 1 while I was gone. I have no idea what happened but I can only guess it just got reset.
If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask or resend them in here please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!
This is all I have to share so far, Thank you to everyone for the continued support and patience while I was gone! I was ready to accept the interest for this game to fade out and coming back to see that it didn't happen makes me happy, I really appreciate it. :,]
#te updates#male yandere#visual novel#dating sim#yandere#illustration#digital art#murder sim#game development#horror game#art#artwork#artists on tumblr#indie game#otome#drawing#romance#anime drawing#anime art#vndev
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Hi All! I thought it was time i gave a lil update from this game and how its been going.
I'm one that tends to keep to myself till a project is fully complete or close to complete, but I've gained a lot of asks about this over time and more as of late lol. So thought I'd cut the radio silence a tad and answer a few repeat questions id gotten!
Are you working on the game?
Surprisingly, yeah.
Will this be a completed game to buy?
Definitely not, least not now. My plan is to make a basic demo of the game as building a complete game with the script and everything would take a very long time and a lot to learn!
It would also be a free to play game, as Its a fan game.
When can we see it, are you almost done, videos and updates!!!
Well... 2023 was a busy year for me personally. And as a person who is still learning to animate along with barely any knowledge of game coding. Led to me needing to learn a lot and do trial and error.
A lot of things are temporary placeholders and incomplete textures with testing. So I didn't feel they where good to share progress of.
a lot of it was me learning, trying different styles to work with the game, and sketches throughout.
Can i help with the project????
I do appreciate you all asking for help,But I don't know much about game development and working with a team on this. So it's more of a passion project for me, and so far what I have learned has been nice :>.
I didn't wanna rely and give up on the project or delay it so much due to factors so I'm workin on it alone right now till the project is farther along and more stable.
Will it look exactly like the trailer, what kind of game is it, what all do you have planned for the demo?
Admittedly I had originally made sprites and everything to match the video, but i ended up going for a more chibi type style as its easier to work with.
Its a side scrolling game with rpg like elements.
The current plan is to have two fully completed stages, a mini game, 4 playable characters (2 being Sun and Moon), and some extra features.
Will the demo be out this year?
I can't say, it all depends on how much time i work on it and learn ;o! I don't like to get hopes up, but I work it on it when I can.
Crumbs, please
Some of the daycare and model updates. It's not much, but I find it fun to run around and interact with things lol
So all and all for those really wondering about the project, its still a heavy work in progress. A fun and frustrating one for sure, but Its been nice actually learning to code and design it so far.
Hope this answered a few questions and of course you can ask other stuff about it, I don't mind.
Thank you!
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On the other side - Andrealphus
I have no idea who proposed it because sadly I can't find it (found you! Thanks for inspiration @\rae-pss!), but someone came up with an idea of what would happen if the characters from WHB started to realize that the MC was not us. That there is someone on the other side of the screen who takes care of them. I created a little silly fic loosely interpreting it.
Word count: 1284
Other parts: On the other side | Promised Land | Point to point | Love is blind (18+)
꧁:･ ✡ ･:꧂
Life is so repeatable. Work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep, only with some little pleasures in between. You took off jacket, threw it away and plopped down at the chair. Old phone landed on a table as you were struggling with thoughts whether to eat instant noodles today or heat up yesterday's dinner.
"Come on, boys." You turn on game and tapped loading screen just from boredroom. "I don't have all evening."
You wanted to have a pet, you've considered it a lot. But with these earnings, the closest thing to an animal in this house were fish sticks. So all that had left to do was talk to fictional hot guys. At least they don't need to be feed.
When Andrea appeared on the display, you tapped on him with a smile.
"Hi, babygirl."
"Who’s there…?"
You've never seen this speech bubble before. Update? But nothing downloaded, and any additional files were in a queue. Well, maybe it was one of those little tweaks nobody notice. You tapped the screen about three hundred more times to see if there were any new voice lines, but this time everything was the same. Maybe it was just a combination of overactive imagination and tiredness. Yes. Instant noodles will be a better option, you will make them faster and go to bed faster.
꧁:･ ✡ ･:꧂
"…and then this stupid bitch said it was all my fault."
Lying half on the chair, half on the desk, and half somewhere in between, you were chatting with a friend on Discord and doing tasks for nightmare pass.
"That sucks. What are you going to do about it?"
"No idea. But if they take my bonus because of her, I'll kill her, I swear."
"I hope everything will be fine, but I have to go. Sorry."
"Yeah… Have fun on a date."
"Thanks!"
Hearing the disconnection sound, you sighed. Obviously, you couldn't blame them, keeping fingers crossed that they had found their other half of orange, but now they didn't even have time to meet for coffee, and you lived three minutes' walk from each other. Talking together, joking together, everything faded into the background. In addition, work was getting worse...
"I also hope everything will work out"
The voice sounded different. Familiar. But they definitely weren't your friend. You quickly checked the screen to see if anyone had joined the voice chat, but the screen was blank.
"What… Who? How?" Of course, there was no one around the room. Is this the beginning of hallucinations?
"I'd like to ask this too."
The voice that came from the speakers. From the telephone. From...?
The phone screen showed only a familiar sprite turning its head from side to side. You forgot about the strange update from a few days ago. Was that it again? Andrea's red braid was beautifully animated, and facial expressions changed, delicate movements of the eyebrows and lips showed new emotions. It really looked stunningly real.
"Gorgeous." You complimented in a whisper godly work of the animator. "I can't wait until you get L, since you already look so sexy as S..."
"What are S and L...?"
He answered without tapping. Moreover, he tilted his head as if listening. There's been a lot of talk about AI lately, but you didn't agree to use the microphone in game… Unless it's some stinky term of services. This needs to be turned off, it will probably be in the settings. But after checking options, there was nothing like that there.
"Strange…"
"Trust me, I find it unnatural too." Andrea replied with an uncertain smile. "I hear you, but I don't feel anyone around me. But your voice… It’s nice. Can you keep talking? It feels good to be less... alone."
He sounded so much in character. Whoever programmed this, put a lot of work into it. It was a little weird... but you were so tired and done that chatting with the AI seemed like a nice change.
"Sure. It's weird talking to the screen, but well, I do it all the time anyway. Good thing it’s only an AI, because if anyone heard half the nonsense I moan, they'd probably send me to solitary confinement."
"You're calling grown man babygirl."
"Because you are!"
He chuckled, and it felt almost like a talking to an actual human. Muttering such nonsense, you felt ashamed for a moment. If the government suddenly started eavesdropping, the agent who was in charge was such a poor man.
"Tell me something else." He asked. "I've been hearing your voice for several days. I'd like to finally know who I'm having the pleasure of talking with."
He didn't have to ask twice. Of course, without providing any personal details, but you could give him your name. And told about that stupid bitch at work...
꧁:･ ✡ ･:꧂
You checked tumblr, checked X, and checked the official website of the game. There was no word about an update anywhere, and after writing that this new option with talking to devils was great, all mutuals started to worry if everything was okay or asked how to unlock it. What were you supposed to tell them? That it just appeared?
What's worse, you started to treat Andrea like an ordinary person. A human being. Turning on the game during cleaning, cooking or making bed, talking to that little devil on the screen, and... listening to his stories. He spoke so beautifully. Talked about how he likes to spend his time (if not murdering angels), or what everyday life in Nilfheim is like. Sometimes he worried about the war, sometimes was happy when you stayed with him longer being off work.
"My blindness is truly a gift." He said one day with a dreamy smile.
"Why so?"
"In this daily hustle, if my eyes were still working properly, I certainly wouldn't be able to hear you, a small voice in my consciousness. I thought there was something wrong with me. But when I finally focused, you heard me too."
What he said was so similar to what you remembered about own feelings. Longing tightened your chest, longing for someone who didn't exist in this world, and that feeling turned into pain.
"I'm also glad we can hear from each other." Your voice changed noticeably.
Andrea sensed it.
"Now that we've been able to talk, maybe one day we'll be able to touch each other?" He held his hand out in front of him, but you knew he couldn't pass through the screen. Still, you placed a finger where his hand was. Stupid mind was tricking you that you could feel his warmth. Tears came to your eyes.
"One day." You whispered with a trembling voice. "I don't know how, but one day we will."
"Do not cry, please. I don't want you to ever cry because of me.”
You tried to keep calm, but it was no use. Maybe one day, in another time, in another reality. Maybe it will work. No, it has to work. No matter how crazy others might think you were, this wasn't the world you were supposed to stay in. Your intended one waited patiently on the other side of the screen. You just didn't know how to do it. Not yet.
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the progress report!! #3
happy march 1st!! kit9’s third progress report dropped today with a special bonus from nemlei!!
firat things first, we have The Entity in the thumbnail!! are they a little bigger to anyone else..? just me? anyways, the lights are a fun addition to the demon/dream world. i’m sure this has no importance whatsoever (lying)
next, we have… this. our dear protagonists caught in a compromising position, oh no!! seriously, though. what are they doing here? were they going to fuck in the car? good for them!! they don’t look very pleased to be disturbed by whoever this is, or disturbed at all. hopefully this isn’t anyone they used to know.
here, we have… the chapter two decay route vision area. you know, the one where andrew is chasing down ashley to murder her or get murdered.
yeah, that one.
it’s very interesting that we come back here. i wonder if this is still the decay route? also, why are we only seeing andrew’s little pixel sprite here? is she on one of the other sections? is this her vision or andrew’s? it seems to me that it’s ashley’s, considering we’ve been here before, but who knows!! there’s an axe and a signpost missing, and the tone of this preview reads a whole lot differently than the vision did at the end of chapter two.
i wonder what has prompted ashley to ask andrew what he wants? i wonder if he’ll be honest? i wonder if this is an important moment, or if it’s just them fucking around? god, i’m SO excited
little andy spotted!! and mrs graves. she is clearly unhappy about something, and i’m thinking it has to do with leyley. doesn’t it always, when it comes to mrs. graves? my guess is that she’s asking him to keep her out of trouble, but it’s just a guess. we’ve seen before that he only curls up in a ball like this when he’s really upset (and still does it as an adult). poor thing.
here, we see andrew with the entity in the thumbnail area, with the lights and everything. shout out to the little darkened souls in the far corners of the picture. our dear andrew is trying to negotiate with the demon.
i think that this is a huge moment in the game and the plot going forward!! assuming this is the burial route, ashley’s been asked to bring him along, AND he has that hex mark on his hand!! this demon is going to steal his soul!! ashley’s gonna be mad.
this could potentially happen in the decay route, too. if we assume the earlier dream/vision sequence is decay, this could be decay. maybe he’s going to meet the entity on his own regardless of what happens with ashley. again, who knows!!
[id: a screenshot of steam. the text reads “Next Episode. From the work completed so far, this episode will be the longest yet. Even in its unfinished state, it is roughly the length of both previous episodes combined. / Once finished, this episode will be released as a major content update, and work on the final episode will begin. / It is still too soon to give any release dates.” end id.]
before, nemlei had said episode three will be split into two separate chapters (one for each route), but maybe this has changed!! the length is… beyond my expectations, truthfully!! it’s longer than both episode one and two combined. holy shit??? that’s So Much Content. i think i will officially be losing my mind upon its release, and even more so when the game is finished. omg!!!!!!
finally, we have THIS!!!!
thank you nemlei. she knows what her fans want to see :33
(i think i need to set this as my phone background or something. it’s SO CUTE!!! i don’t even know where to start expressing my absolute JOY with this image!!!)
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Ocular — Version 2.0.0
Preview // More Info & Install
oh heyyyy hi hello long time no chat! (it's been over a year!) (sorry!)
I decided to give my theme Opticant a face lift, along with a desperately needed name change. I'm not really working on other new themes right now but I was so excited to update this!
Ocular comes with the following features:
Uses Tumblr's full-width controls and search bar
Post Sizes: 400px, 500px, 540px, 600px, 700px
Sidebar Width: 200px, 260px, 300px, 350px, 400px
Font Sizes: 14px, 15px, 16px, 18px
Background: solid, 2-color gradient, or image (full, static, or repeating)
Unlimited custom links (visit the help desk FAQ for tutorial)
Custom titles for Home, Ask, Submit, and Archive links
Endless scroll, custom fonts, and custom ask box text
Optional header and avatar image
Ocular version 2.0.0 adds these new features:
Color Schemes: Default, Tumblr, Dark Mode, Low Contrast, Cement, Cybernetic, Canary, Pastel, Blended Light, Blended Dark
Sidebar Location: Left, Right, or Above Posts
Added "Uncropped" to the "Avatar Shape" option, which will show your Avatar image in its native aspect ratio with no background, border, or rounded corners (see images 2 and 3) (perfect for transparent images and sprites) (redux edits? again? heck yeah)
Various additions and small tweaks to minor options, such as new background options, theme credit customization, etc.
It also fixes these bugs and adds these cool code updates:
Long words were prevented from being broken, thereby cutting off text on the edge of the post
Updated inline photosets so they no longer break when using endless scroll
The appearance of Read More links and the Pinned Post indicator have been updated to more closely match the Tumblr dashboard
Added lightbox functionality to all images
Compressed JS and CSS for quicker load times
Probably more updates honestly I kinda lost track
you can install (or reinstall) this theme here, or you can cross your fingers and hope that my submission to the theme garden (??!!?!?!) gets approved!! as always, thanks for using my themes. I've been making them for almost 10 years and I'm so grateful to all of you for helping me make that a possibility <3
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Howdy! I know giving strangers advice unsolicited is like getting teeth pulled online, but I've got a friend who has actually done a fair bit of paying work on games as a concept/asset artist, and I asked them what they did to do it- the answer is both kinda disappointing, but also heartening- they were either recommended by friends, or answered calls for submissions on twitter. I know too from what little game dev I've done, a lot of the indie stuff really did boil down to "I was the right person in the right place at the right time," so like- while there's no magic bullet, if you keep putting yourself out there, keep forming connections, it can absolutely happen! In a way, you're on the right track already, so keep up the good fight!
I will do my best! I am surrounded by so many amazingly talented artists and developers and it's incredible to see everyone's resolve, but we're all kinda going through it in one way or another haha. It's hard for anyone to stay financially afloat when we barely have enough money to support ourselves, much less all of the people around us that we care about. I just wish I could get a somewhat stable job at a studio that doesn't want to kill me, doing work for more than like. a week lol.
also since I keep personal dms closed on all of my socials due to scams and trolls I will just say, hey if you're a game developer looking for a paid concept, character or sprite artist/animator I have plenty of experience and just updated my portfolio yesterday! the formatting sucks but the art is mostly up to date (except the pixel art ironically, but I will gladly supply more recent examples if needed). My business contact is on there as well.
Thanks for the kind words and sorry for tacking my personal stuff on the end of this response!
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Fic Stats Game
Rules: Give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.
@jackdaw-sprite thanks for the tag! I enjoy both being tagged in shit and doing the tag games! Let's fuckin gooooo! All data is from AO3 and does not include Tumblr information, nor stories posted only to Tumblr.
Most Hits: broken trust and the wounds hidden behind
This one is actually my highest by a significant amount! At the time of this post, it's at 6,463 hits. My number two story is at 3,814
Jack wasn't meaning to snoop in his son's room when he found a box of medical supplies and a USB with a tag that said IF I DON'T COME HOME. Danny’s secrets revealed, Jack is desperate to earn his son’s trust, to earn the right to this secret he stumbled across. After almost two years of unknowingly hunting his son, is Danny's trust too broken to heal?
Second Most Kudos: by your grave (the monster we made)
This one is second for pretty much all stats!
Maddie knew Danny kept secrets, it was a topic they didn’t discuss. But when she sees scars she knows he couldn’t have, she knows she can’t keep pretending. She just needs to figure out those scars.
Third-Most Comments: the walls you hide behind (I saw the truth inside the real you)
I'm actually suprised by that one! It's only been coming out for the past two-ish weeks!
Jazz is tired of the ghosts, tired of her parents not doing enough, tired of Phantom's recklessness and her brother's persistent exhaustion. When she yells all of her frustration at her parents after nearly getting killed by a ghost, she gets sent to Vlad's mansion in Wisconsin for the weekend - where she's offered a chance. She could have the ability to fight back, protect her brother and her town. Jazz leaps at the prospect.
When she returns to Amity Park at the end of the weekend, it's with abilities and strength of her own, and she's fueled by anger and disdain.
And she's got her eyes, first, on Danny Phantom.
Fourth-Most Bookmarks: Welcome to Intro to Ghosts
Man I really should update that fic shouldn't I?
Sure, turning sixteen was supposed to be a big year regardless, but this was a little beyond what Danny had expected when he'd both been told he was now king and then asked to be a teacher for the Intro to Ghosts class while also being a junior in high school. Now he has to juggle a secret identity, being a superhero, doing centuries worth of old paperwork Pariah didn't do, his own schoolwork, AND his students/classmates schoolwork! This'll be fun. Or catastrophic. Hopefully fun.
Fifth-Most Words: healing the wounds we hid
This is the sequel to broken trust, mentioned earlier! It's actually going to be my second highest word count (it's full draft is roughly 38k, but for where I am in posting, it's at number 2!) Once it's posted by your grave (the monster we made) (also referenced earlier), will be the actual number five.
Least Words: fang u for ur help
At a paltry 345 words, this is the shortest fic I've posted to AO3. It's a silly like DannyMay thing bc the idea was funny and didn't need to be any more than it is.
Danny has fangs and questions.
DannyMay2023 Day 16: Fangs
Tags: GAH I HAVE NO IDEA WHO'S BEEN TAGGED AND WHO TO TAG. Ummmm. @scarletsaphire @lexosaurus @strawberrycamel, and anyone else who wants to!
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SPRING TROUPE'S SLAY DATA!!
now that chikage's polls and therefore all of spring troupe's are over, i proudly present to you spring troupe's ✨ slay data ✨. how much do they slay individually? how much do they slay as a troupe? what are their best outfits? their worst? read on to find out!
in case you're new here or you need a refresher, here's how their slay game was determined:
the first round is called SLAY OR NAY. for each character, i put up a poll for each and every one of their outfits (at least the ones i could find on yaycupcake), and the audience voted SLAY for the ones they liked and NAY for the ones they didn't. an outfit that gets at least a 60% on the slay side passes the slay check, and gets put forth into the intra-wardrobe tournament
round 2, or the intra-wardrobe tournament, is basically me pitting all of the character's "slay" outfits against each other in a typical knockout style tournament until we've whittled down to one winning outfit
now, how much does the spring troupe slay overall?
a respectable amount of 66.7% which i believe is a B grade in most schooling systems?? and the best so far since they're the very first troupe lol
naturally this table will be updated as this tournament continues and hopefully by the end of the year (??) we'll see which troupe truly slays the most
how much does each member of the spring troupe slay?
great question, and the results might (or might not?) surprise you
idk about you guys but i had my money on itaru being the winner lol. one thing's clear though, the adult-adults of harugumi ate up the young ones 😭😔 on the bright side it looks like tsuzuru isn't nearly as plain as the others like to tease him for being since at the very least he's not dead last!
as a recap (since this took place over the course of nearly 4 months whoops), here's everyone's FINAL WINNING outfits
honestly the fact that half of these are cross-dressing roles proves WE NEED MORE TO PUT MORE OF THESE GUYS IN FEMININE CLOTHES 🗣️🗣️
what about their flops? their cringiest, most nay-inducing outfits?
i chose their worst outfits based on the lowest slay percentage in each character's slay vs nay polls
YKNOW I LOWKEY FEEL BAD FOR MASUMI like he has the LEAST SLAY in harugumi and his worst outfit had the lowest slay rate too?? 😭 just for fun i might put up a poll to get yall to decide which one is the worst out of all of these
the last set of data is each character's super slay outfits AKA the outfits that got at least 90% slay in the initial slay or nay polls. any comments i have are in the slides, please take note of them bc i did kinda have to bend some of my own rules for, uh, reasons that are explained. the character's winning outfit has its name bolded
SAKUYA
MASUMI
TSUZURU
ITARU
CITRON
CHIKAGE
these are each harugumi member's no. of super slay outfits, ranked from most to least:
citron: 13
sakuya: 11
itaru & chikage: 10
masumi: 9
tsuzuru: 8
so, what did we learn from this?
on one hand, it seems like the initial SLAY OR NAY polls do have some power to predict some characters' best outfits bc sakuya, itaru, and chikage's winning outfits also had the highest slay rates
on the other hand, if i had asked the audience to vote for the best outfit from the selection of "super slay" fits aka the ones that got >90% slay rate, the results would be looking quite different. SSR family wouldn't be citron's final winning outfit, same with tsuzuru's 'captive fairy' look
so??? it really depends on the character ig??
outfits in card art is more likely to win that outfits in a sprite
the adult-adults of harugumi apparently serve the most cunt
room 102 is struggling 😔
la verite is serve after serve ✨
if you've read this far, thank you! hope this was fun and informative :3 next up is SUMMER TROUPE and we'll be starting with tenma so stick around for that and hopefully it won't take nearly 5 months like spring troupe did 🤡
#a3! outfits tournament#a3! act addict actors#a3!#sakuya sakuma#masumi usui#tsuz#itaru chigasaki#a3 citron#chikage utsuki#the funny thing is someone did suggest to me very early on when i was setting up the original tournament#to do exactly this: post every chara's outfit and get tumblr dot gov to determine everyone's best fits#then pit them all against each other#i recoiled at the idea at first bc it sounded like a lot of work but look at where we are now LOL#idk if i'll add more data parameters for the other troupes?? maybe i will but idk what that'd be#spring troupe's always first so they're the test babies#especially sakuya bless his soul after everything i put him through in his corner of my spreadsheet 🙏🏻#HELP I MISTAGGED TSUZURU'S NAME AND IM ON MOBILE RN#tsuzuru minagi
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…Apologies. I was trying to tell a joke.
anyway:
a kaife (portmanteau: kai + wife)(plural: kaives)(a subset of kaispouses)
kaiposting (sprite edits, headcanons, fics), anything to do with Kai Satou (including his family) or kaispouseverse
so this is a Kai blog, contents are 99% guaranteed Kai Satou, with the remaining approx 1% being satouposting in general (Gashu, Sei, Ranger)
occasional floor master and greenblings appearances (one of my WIP is about Shin, Kanna and Kugie)
mixed bin of crack, angst, fluff, just about everything (we go through emotions here)
tagging protocol is not up to date/common standards i confess, but i do my best. sorry for any inconvenience. let me know via ask if you have concerns or suggestions regarding tags or labels.
the most unhinged cursed shit as well as the blatant ns4w is always community labeled and tagged though
this blog is my main blog, which means that i follow and like with this one. chances are, i am reblogging your posts on my other blog. i'm unwilling to disclose said blog here because i don't want minors finding it. please do not out the blog to underage audiences.
i do not mind friendly interactions on my blog, however, i cannot/willnot form or maintain committed internet friendships.
that being said, i can be referred to as 'jamie' or 'james' or a similar nickname derived from my AO3 handle (words 'jade' and 'mint'). i like engaging with fellow humans online, it's fun and i especially enjoy friendly banter in fandom context.
if my interactions (likes, reblogs) suck and you don't want them, you can send me an ask to tell me to stop. it's ok and i respect your wishes. i can also unlike and delete reblogs if you need me to. i promise you it's ok to ask me to do that, do not worry.
(post is subject to occasional updates)
NEW! the tags on this pinned post are useful for navigating this blog (yes even the longish ones)(no, really: try your luck~)
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since you were begging for asks earlier, heres a curious one. let's say Seduce Me gets remade with updated art and updated writing, etc etc. if there was one thing you'd want changed and/or added, what would it be? and while we're at it, is there anything specific you'd want to stay as is?
Oooooh I like this one!!! I love the game, but there are definitely things I wish were done differently. (Other than the obvious like typos and glitches)
It's kind of long, but here you go:)
I personally really enjoyed the art, but I do wish the boys sprites had gold eyes when enthralling MC. I think it would have been a nice detail.
I would love to see the backstories fleshed out more. Michaela Laws said that things in Damiens backstory for example, that she didn't include (how much worse can it get😭) I think it would be really nice to get more details for the boys and the grandfather's background.
I'd like the story to be longer, like more individual scenes with each incubus before the big confession. I enjoy a fast burn but DAMN.
And more scenes with all of them. I love the brother's dynamics, and I wish we saw more of them together.
Maybe an ending where she let them stay without dating them. It doesn't necessarily have to be a poly ending (though I think many people including myself would enjoy) but they all become MC's found family.
Option for a male or gender-neutral MC.
More Malix in general. He is an incredible character who adds so much to the game, and his VA is uber talented. I saw on Michaela's Tumblr that she originally planned for Malix to attempt to burn down the mansion, and this would be so freaking cool! I wish we would have gotten this.
Less copy and paste, which I feel is a given.
I'd really like it to be NSFW if I'm being honest. Like, the sex scenes don't even have to be voiced (Though no one would complain if they wereeee) but like the writing aspect of it would be really nice.
I think MC's grief should be explored more. I discussed this with someone recently about Mika sleeping in her grandfather's room right after his passing, and I feel like maybe her grief was almost skipped over.
I think it would be nice to see MC being a college student rather than high school, but being as the second game is already made and has an established age, this probably wouldn't be possible.
More discussion of magic, and MC's ability to use magic.
Things I'd like to stay:))
First and foremost, VOICE ACTORS!!! I cannot stress enough how much I appreciate the VA talent in the game. I genuinely can't see another actor playing any of the incubi, Malix or Diana.
I really enjoy MC being a bit snarky and tough, but not so brave that it becomes unrealistic. Like she isn't Oh My GaWd ThErE aRe HoT gUyS but she also isn't like "I can do this easy and could fight this on my own!" because she knows it isn't easy and does recieve help from them.
Simon tabby. I don't feel I need to elaborate this.
The original scenes where MC gives her chosen incubus energy. Like, I'd like them to be more unique to the incubus BUT I don't think locations should change, and the art could still be similar to the last time.
I like how Diana comes across as a villain in the first game, and I don't think she should be changed. The second game was her redemption ark and changing her in a rewrite would make it less...redemptiony.
MC fighting Lissete. Favorite part of the game. (Though, I do think MC should have gotten like, suspended at the very least.)
I might think of more, but these were the ones I could think of right now. Thanks for the ask!
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Do you mind if I ask what mods you use for started?
Happy 1.6 update!!
Hey no problem asking!(and thank you so much for the ask in the first place :D) I mostly use some accessibility ones but there are a few cosmetic ones that I enjoy as well! Of course this is all through SMAPI, which helps mods run on Stardew.
Basic ones for accessibility are CJB Item Spawner, CJB Cheats Menu, Automate, Lookup Anything(very important so you don't have the wiki always open), Generic Mod Config Menu, Stardew Notifications, NPC Map Locations, Slime Hutch to Menagerie, Starfruit Will Regrow, Better Workbenches, Part of the Community, and Skull Cavern Elevator(I'm bad at mines due to some health issues).
For cosmetic and fun, all of Elle's reskins are amazing and really make the game look so clean but still matching the original style, but for dinosaurs I use Dino Velociraptor Reskin because I need my little rapots. Two for fun are Futan Axolotls and Axolotls in Stardew Valley, this is just because it's fun to have some extra fishables in game and they're very cute(they also work in fish tanks and ponds which is great).
Sadly some of my other favorites are extremely broken and outdated, like one that added more flowers. Also two that I would recommend that give seasonal sprites and expanded dialogue, but I don't know how they'll work as there's new winter sprites and added dialogue from what Concerned Ape has said.
Hope this helps and hope everyone enjoys the update! Also be weary because there's been more and more ai mods and one of the big mod makers turned to ai use for their mods. This is just for quality and because as an artist, I am of course anti ai :P
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Devlog #30 | 04.27.23
Hi everyone!
We are back with a monthly update! If you all remember, last month I was feeling a bit burnt out, and I'm super happy to say I'm feeling a lot more like myself this month <3 Thank you to everyone who sent me a lil message/comment, I always appreciate them sm. I won't bore you with my gushing, but I am forever grateful for you all! With that, I'll get into the updates ^^
But first, it was someone's birthday this month! happy bday, hoe.
Writing
I have some exciting news! Kayn's route has officially entered the line editing phase, which is the FINAL stage of editing \o/ This will be the first route completed for Alaris, wow!!! Fenir's route is still going through developmental editing, but the changes are already super cute and he is giving ultimate grumpy baby energy, which we love to see.
I'm still chipping away at Druk's route. Honestly, I'm Very Sad I haven't made as much progress with him as I would've liked, but a lot of my time was dedicated to the enhanced demo this month, and between revamping the demo script, coding, voice acting, and edits for Kayn/Fenir's full routes, I just didn't have the time. I'm hoping this month, I'll finally Actually be able to get his first draft done <3
Art
We officially finished all Demo Backgrounds this month (wow!!). Having started revamping the demo BGs all the way back in, like, November, it's crazy that this first milestone has been reached! Now, it's only full game BGs left. I received the new Dusk Court BG recently, and she's stunning, so I'm excited for the more "core plot" BGs to start coming out :')
In honor of the enhanced demo coming out, I updated the sprite art for the LIs! I'll be getting to the side characters this next month, but I'm really happy with the new art. The differences maybe kinda small for some of them, but I think they look a lot cleaner, and I think the auras especially are pretty <;3 we also whoreified kuna'a
updated sprite preview for kayn, aisa, kuna'a, and etza
The full GUI was also finished this month. I just have to code them in, but it looks SO delicate and pretty and sharp. I'm so thankful to Alice for doing the most outstanding job with them---she is so talented!!
Sneaky peek of screens uwu
Additional Notes
I complained about it 29348 times, but I Finished the Voice Acting Coding this month uwu. That is probably the biggest accomplishment considering how much work it was reviewing all the lines, cutting them, and coding them into the game. I'm terrified for the full routes.
I selected the playtesters for the game so far. Thank you to everyone who applied! I wasn't able to reach out to everyone who applied, and I didn't want to have so so many playtesters, since filtering through everyone's feedback would be overwhelming. But there may come a time when I need more playtesters in the future, so please feel free to keep my little game in mind <3
It's been a bit since I mentioned my Patreon, mostly because I feel bad asking people for money and promoting a platform where people have to pay for content LOL. But it is there, and I do post to it! The reason I bring it up in this devlog is because the highest tier ($10) gets access to playtesting and the second tier ($5) gets early access to finished builds. With the enhanced demo slowly getting finished, I will be doing playtesting for the new beta build this upcoming month in May. SO if you want playtesting/early access to the enhanced demo, please feel free to check out my Patreon* ^^
*Note: If you’re interested in becoming a patron for the early testing/ playtesting, don't become a patron until May starts otherwise you will get charged for both this month and May ((unless you want to give me money for both months in which case u have my eternal love uwu))
Market Research
Lastly, I did a tiny bit of market research this month! I played Bustafellows after my dear friend Seyl (check out her and her team's game Lost in Limbo!!) recommended it to me.
Shu: why is his glove so slutty
And of course the game everyone has been talking about, I played the demo for Touchstarved.
Ais: my favorite, and it's not even close
Looking at these two, and I think I have a thing for smokers lmao. Anyways, I think that's enough from me, so that is all for this month's update! Stay safe, and see you all next month <3
#alaris#devlog#if u saw me post this 3 mins ago ur wrong#the way i posted it without a title or anything omg i'm a mess
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Hello everyone! Wanted to make a bit of a general post. First off, thank you so much for 100 followers! We actually hit this milestone a little bit ago, and I’ve been wanting to make a celebratory illustration of some sort, so stay tuned for that! It’s really exciting to know that so many folks are interested in following this little project of mine, and I sincerely hope that you will stick around to see it finished & playable ^^
All around progress update: redesign stage is nearing 1/3rd complete! I’m quite happy with this pace, given that I only really began working on this project in earnest a little over 3 months ago. I’ve been striving to put a lot of care and thought into the concept of each retyping, since I’d like it if their new design works well with their core concept and is still recognizable as the original Pokémon. I hope that will show through in the final product.
On a few other fronts, we’ve made a bit of progress on later phases of development. Several sprite sheets have been completed, some of which require further tweaking, but are currently usable. I also sat down with my wonderful consultant & collaborator—someone significantly more involved in the competitive scene than I, and also happens to be my sibling—to work on redesigning a few of the finished lines mechanically. We’ve gotten a feel for redistributing the base stats, as well as generally raising the BST for some weaker Pokémon we feel need the support. Additionally, a few Pokémon lines’ movepools & learnsets are also starting to solidify. Much more of a focus will be put on these aspects once the redesign phase is complete, but the ball is already rolling on them.
Well, think that’s about everything in need of announcing! As always, asks (serious or silly), fanart, or just any sort of interaction is very welcome! Running this blog certainly helps my easily distracted mind stay focused on keeping at this project, so I thank you all very much for checking it out. 💙
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Weeks have passed, and after an eventful summer, Coraleye has been doing her best to attend her last year in University. Unlike her previous years, however, she doesn't have Mira or the rest of her crew by her side, and life is really starting to get her down. Needing to talk to someone, she invites her friend Sid out for coffee and a study session.
Sid: Well hello, you! Thanks for the coffee. I haven't heard from you in a while... How's it going?
Coraleye: Oh you know... It's going, ha. I'm sorry, I haven't had much time for friends or sprites or anything I'd planned on doing this semester, honestly.
Sid: Hey, no... No need to apologize. You've got a lot going on right now. Loads of homework, drama back home, and... [frowns] ... your poor granddad. How is Seymour, by the way? Any better?
Coraleye: Well... He's been able to talk some. But my mom is saying he doesn't have much more time with us, and here I am, on the other side of the world for [gestures at stacks of books on table] THIS. I should be spending the little bit of time he has left with him.
Sid: Well I'm sure he'd want this for you, Cor.
Coraleye: Well, that's the only reason I'm putting in the effort. I don't want to be in Britechester right now. I just wish-
Coraleye hunches over, her face dropping into her palms.
Coraleye: [Voice cracks] I just wish I could be stronger for him.
Sid sympathetically pats Coraleye on the back for moral support.
Sid: You don't have to be strong, Corie. You've got me, and your other Britechester friends, and your family, all here to lift you up. And your wife, right?
Coraleye: [Sigh] Yeah... you're right. I mean, Mira has decided to prolong her honeymoon with Starling through the rest of the year. She said she'd be right here if I needed her, I just don't want to intrude. It's true though, I have a wonderful support system to get me through this. I guess I'm just overwhelmed and exhausted, and I'm miles and miles away from-
Sid: Let me guess... Mr. Curious?
Coraleye blushes and quickly covers her face to hide it.
Coraleye: [Shrugs] Maybe...
🌕Momo's Note:
Hello friends! Just wanted to ramble for a bit here. I'm starting to feel a bit better so I was hoping to get back into storytelling here soon, hence this update♥ Unfortunately, I'm starting to feel like I really need to do a cc/mod overhaul. It takes far too long to load the game, there's a lot that's broken for me, and I honestly just need a fresh start. I have a HUGE unorganized journey ahead of me though, and I'm still not too certain how I'm going to tackle it, so the blog will most certainly be a lot slower when it comes to updates and activity. I have a few more posts I could make from previous screenshots, but after that it may be a while before you see daily posts again.
In the meantime, please feel free to send OC asks or look back on any posts you may have missed prior. I'll be here if you need me, and thank you so much for your patience 💕
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To Cry for the Moon Part 7 (Moon Knight x Female Eternal!Reader)
Author's Note: The next couple chapters will be mainly the Eternals with mentions to Moon Knight. So if you are here for the guys, please hang in there, they will be back. I am not a mythology expert, and things get changed for these stories obviously. I'm trying my best. Also I'll try to update every day or two. I can't guarantee they will be everyday. So if you want to be tagged let me know, replies are the easiest but any way works. Minor DNI
The story idea by @jupitersmoon167 (the original post I saw is here!) Also realized I should probably add content warnings, so I did and tagged them. If you think I missed a warning please send me an ask. I try to tw tag even the tiniest thing so no one has to suffer if I can help it.
Y/N = Your Name. Y/N/N = Your Nickname. Reader pronouns She/Her. Story is 3rd person POV. Italics are the reflected alter talking.
Tag Requests are Open just message me.
Tagged: @rosaren2498, @yuugenmomo, @faefanatic, @urlocallsimp, @assassinsasha23, @queenariesofnarnia, @rmoonstoner, @crypticruler
Primary Pairing: Steven Grant x Eternal!Reader, Marc Spector x Eternal!Reader, Khonshu x Ma'at!Reader (It’ll make sense eventually)
Content Warning: Death, fear, depression
Word Count: 1k+
WIP Series Masterlist
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10
Part 7: The World Keeps Turning
Y/N didn't really listen or help Sersi explain to Dane that they have powers because they are Eternals from the planet Olympia and have been on Earth for over 7,000 years, fighting Deviants. Until 5 centuries ago. He learned more about Sersi and Ikaris but the main thing was that Dane accepted her explanation and reasoning far better than Marc had. Y/N didn't miss the sad look they both gave her.
"He'll come around, probably just the shock of it all," Dane tells her.
"You handled it alright, and you don't have a centuries-old Egyptian god in your brain. Moon Knight does. They even know about some of my powers. I told them when they told me about their personalities, though they conveniently left out Khonshu. It was Truth for Truth. The full story wasn't my story to tell. Doing so might have raised questions about Sersi and Sprite. That wouldn't be fair to them or you, but I guess that doesn't matter." She sighs. "I'm glad you don't hate us. I hate to do this but can I ask you a favor? Can you watch Noob and maybe feed Bas until we get back? I would ask Steven, but even if he would talk to me, I don't think Marc would let him."
"Of course," he nods.
"Thanks, Dane, I owe you one."
"You guys saved my life and a lot of other people, the least I can do is pet sit."
"Least you can do is nothing, but I appreciate it. I know you'll be kind to them. Sorry, I can't make you a giraffe either, but I can say if you ever need anything." She takes the feather keychain off her keys and holds it in her hands, imbuing it with a tiny fraction of her powers before handing it to him. "If something really bad happens. Hold it to your heart and I will hear it. We may not have cell signal, but as long as I’m on this planet it’ll work. It works for Osiris and he’s in the underworld, it should work for you."
"Osiris? Like the Egyptian god of the Dead? He has a direct line to you? Does your family?"
"Osiris does, my family doesn't. Sadly, I cannot feel the Eternals like I can humans. I think Arishem thinks that would be a distraction. But humans, like you, I can hear. And you, you have a good heart Dane, that's why we know we can trust you with all of this. I don't even need my scales to know your heart balances. Sersi wouldn't be with you if it didn't. Take care of yourself."
She moves to join Sprite while Sersi says her own goodbye.
Y/N was physically sore and absolutely exhausted on the flight to the States. The only thing giving her comfort was being surrounded by so many human hearts. She reached out just a bit with her powers to feel them. She focuses on one of a child, a young girl, that seems to be enjoying a show on a tablet. An innocent and pure heart full of joy. It reminds her that humans were worth fighting for. That little girl had so much life ahead of her. As upset and sad as Y/N might be, knowing innocence and good still existed even after so many years without the Eternals' assistance was comforting. It was a constant that she could always rely on.
"You okay?" Sersi asks, drawing her attention back.
Y/N nods. "I'm fine."
"You should try and sleep," Sersi tells her. "You fought harder than most of us and took most of the hits."
"I'm not that fragile," Y/N assures her.
"No, but we have no idea when we might get the chance to again. Might as well embrace it while we can."
"Point taken," Y/N admits and as she usually does, she takes Sersi's advice.
As they left the airport and headed to their rental car, she pulled out her phone and calls Steven. He doesn't answer. She leaves a voicemail.
“Hey, just landed in the States. We’re headed to Ajak’s place, I’ll call you when we get to her house.”
When Ajak fails to greet them, something instantly feels off. Y/N reaches out but feels nothing. No humans for miles and no apparent threats. What they do find shakes them all. Ajak is dead. Her body was cold, drained of power. Y/N couldn't breathe for a moment. It is too much. They've never lost anyone before. Ajak always healed them. She kept them alive even through the most brutal of battles. Ajak was gone. Their leader was gone. They were on their own. Y/N could feel her hands start to shake. The ache in her knee returned. They were on their own against Deviants stronger than ever and they lost their healer. Ajak had kept them alive and safe for millennia. Now, what were they supposed to do?
Ikaris admits to being the last one to see her. To say that Ajak sent him to London to check on them. But the Deviant must have gotten her before he actually made it to London because as Sprite points out the Deviant healed like Ajak. They now had an enemy that could take their powers. None of them were safe in a fight if that was true. They are all shocked when Sersi tells them the sphere Ajak used to speak with Arishem went to her. That she spoke to Arishem. Ajak chose Sersi to replace her. Not Ikaris, which was surprising. He had always been more of a leader than most of them. He was devoted to the mission Arishem gave them.
Y/N put a hand on Ajak's cold chest.
"May we meet again in the next life," Y/N says, hoping that no matter what afterlife awaited Eternals they would hopefully be together someday.
They agreed to gather the rest of the team starting with Kingo.
Ancient Egypt, the beginning of the age of gods.
Y/N places a set of scales before the Ennead in the Chamber of the Gods.
"Phastos says these scales will allow you to better judge a person's heart, even when I am not here. We formed them using my powers." She takes the large feather that the people had given her long ago because of her wings that she often included in her outfit out of appreciation and holds it tight between her hands, calling on the majority of her power and channeling it into the feather. It made her lightheaded as her hands and the feather began to glow. She wills a fraction of her own heart and powers into it. When she pulls her powers back the feather continues to have a sort of ethereal glow. "This feather," she holds it out to the small cluster of gods before her. "The feather of truth," she deems it. "I've put everything I know, everything I use to aid in judgment, into this feather. Weigh a person's heart against this feather and you will know their true nature, their heart. If it balances, they have a good heart, they deserve to see paradise."
"And they shall see the field of reeds," Osiris assures her.
"And if they don't balance?" Horus asks.
"If the feather rises, and the heart stays weighted down, they have failed. Their heart has shown their true nature, that their heart is filled with malice and should be justly condemned. If the scales move back and forth that means there is conflict in the person's heart. They are not inherently good or bad. They should be given a chance to process this, to look deep within themselves and if they can balance then they have made peace with their conflict. If they can't, they shall face proper justice."
"Justice shall be swift," Osiris adds.
"You can judge both living and the dead to ensure justice and truth remain standard as time goes on and the kingdom grows. As long as I live, the feather of truth will hold the standards I have deemed fair and just. It is part of me. You have my judgment as long as the smallest spark of my power remains. We are bound, we are one."
Modern Egyptian Underworld
"They've never done this before." Anubis, Taweret, and Osiris watch the scales shift without anything being weighed against the feather.
"Keep watch," Osiris commands them. "We will see what Ma'at has to say."
South Dakota, USA
Y/N tries again to call Steven and Marc.
“Hey, um, so we got to Ajak’s. She…got attacked by a deviant and is…Anyway, we’re flying back out again, probably going to find Kingo. Let me know if you get this, we’re in the middle of nowhere in South Dakota, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m not getting any service.”
As she puts her phone away. She is shocked to see the path to the temple open before her.
"Sprite!" She calls the younger Eternal.
"Is that what I think it is?" Sprite says as she eyes the long open tunnel. "Tell Sersi I will meet you in Mumbai." Sprite nods.
Modern Egypt: Temple of the Gods
"Osiris," Y/N greets the glowing eyes of the avatar before her.
"Ma'at," he greets her. "I am sure you are curious why I summoned you."
She sighs, "I have an idea about that and I will share what I know, you only ever have to ask."
"Your scales shifted while not in use. The others are concerned."
"I…I have concerning news for you, Osiris. The deviants have returned, they are stronger, faster and I'm afraid I can no longer guarantee that we, that I, will survive."
"What do you mean?" He asks. "How have you come to this conclusion?"
"One attacked us in London. Ikaris, Sersi, Sprite, and I were unable to kill it. Ikaris and I could only drive it back. The concerning thing is that it healed itself, Osiris. We went to consult Ajak and she was dead. The monster had stolen her powers and in doing so became stronger and harder to fight. In 7,000 years no Eternal has died. I'm afraid the shock may have momentarily shifted and shaken my beliefs. But the scales should be steady now. We are going to gather the rest of the Eternals and return to our mission, losing our healer will not deter us. We shall do our best to remove this threat to humanity. My only request is that should anything happen and my feather fade. Please tell Khonshu that I have failed. He will know why."
"That can be done. We will be observing," Osiris tells her. "Call upon us if you have a need. Isis would be devastated if we lost you, little feather. Your heart beats here. It shall remain protected."
Mumbai, India
Y/N steps out into the busy streets of the city. She reaches out to feel the hearts around her. Now she had to wait for the rest of the team to get there. She takes out her phone and calls Steven.
"Osiris called me to the temple, my powers wavered after finding Ajak. I filled him in on what was happening. With Ajak gone we…Osiris will let Khonshu know if anything truly bad happens, he told me he would. I'm in India now. I got here before the others because of the temple path. I'll let you know more soon. I really do miss you both."
Before putting her phone away she sent a text to Sersi letting her know that she was in India.
#To Cry for the Moon fic#eternals!reader#marc spector x eternals!reader#marc spector x y/n#marc spector x female!reader#marc spector x reader#steven grant x y/n#steven grant x female!reader#steven grant x reader#female!reader#tw: death#eternals x reader
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It's Back To Work!
Thanks to everyone who wished me well on my health break, and for those who sent me asks throughout recovery and kept the hearth burning. But I'm now back to working on the game, however, I've got a few updates.
There's been a changing of the guard, and we've restructured a few roles to help keep things balanced. For one, we lost an editor, but gained a new one who will do edits in big chunks as his schedule allows. I also let go of doing CGs and handed it off to Rem/Ciel, who has been the biggest advocate for me to stop trying to do everything by myself lol. It's a huge load off my shoulders, and will ensure that the prologue comes out much faster now that he will handle the CGs and I can focus on the last few sprites needed for it.
Xing has been incredibly hard at work doing the backgrounds, and has gotten at least working colored sketches for all prologue areas, so I don't feel bad about releasing a beta without color (oh what a cruel colorless world we could of lived in if they hadn't saved us.)
And most importantly, the script for the prologue is far past its halfway mark. I'm always going back and editing it even on my days off, and it's really starting to shine as we're about to do day 5 content. It's my favorite to work on and program in, especially on days where drawing just ain't working. The art ain't artworking you know? Especially with our all important Mysterious Stranger and his very important CG that I absolutely want y'all to see.
Now there is one last thing I want to update y'all on, for any who may be interested in why progress has been so stop and go for me, and why I am afflicted with AO3 writer's curse. And a follow-up to my last health post. It'll be under a read more, so if you've had your fill, I'll see you next time, but for those who want the info, it's below the cut.
Thanks for following development!
So. My Health. When last we left off I had been told it was absolutely and utterly not POTs and I was getting mixed signals on what was going on with my heart as well. But the consensus was that my heart was just dandy and I was being silly.
Turns out both were wrong.
I have POTs, I scored every single symptom except the racing heart, because mine instead drops. And it drops hard. (we're talking the low 20's) Turns out my poor weak heart is failing on me, but not showing the chemical signs, so all I can really do is try to improve my cardiovascular health and pray it doesn't give out on me. It's not a good diagnosis, it isn't a good time, and I'm certainly not happy. I've been told to write my will it's gotten so serious. BUT on the upside, I am stubborn as all hell. So even if my heart is literally attempting to give out on me, I'm gonna keep doing my silly little passion project anyways.
FN is the biggest project I've ever worked on, and though its proven to be a lot more work than I expected, and a true tester of my patience. I want to finish it. I will finish it. God cannot stop me. He's trying. I've been in and out of the hospital since my last update, and was in it just as recently as two weeks ago. It is trying. But I will not give in. If I perish let it be known that I was god's most stubborn soldier.
Don't worry for me, worry for my poor heart that can't keep up with my burning spirit. It isn't strong enough to keep me down. I actually worked on the script on my phone in the hospital. It cannot drag me down fast enough. Take that god.
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