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genderfluid-existence · 3 years

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Hi, I’ve been questioning if I’m genderfluid on and off for some time now, and so I thought I’d ask for advice from someone who knows that they’re genderfluid

1. Before you knew for certain that you were genderfluid did you feel like there were possibly other people in your head besides you? Not in a dissociative identity disorder kind of way, but something else? (sorry for the bad wording there)

2. What were some more obscure signs you were genderfluid?

3. Part of the reason why I don’t want to say I’m genderfluid is bc I’m worried actually cis, and that I’m just pretending to be genderfluid due wanting to fit in w/ my friend who is trans/wanting to be more queer than I already am (I already know I’m somewhere on the bi+ spectrum), it’s a coping mechanism for my semi-not-good mental state. (sorry again for the bad wording), do you have any advice regarding this?

Sorry a third time for the bad wording, but I need advice, and this seems like a good way to get it.

Howdy 🤠

I'm always very happy to help, but as always, keep in mind that you are the only person who can say what your gender is, what will make you happiest, and what is the right choice for you. I can only speak from my own experience.

1. Oh boy, quite a question right off the bat. The answer is kind of, I guess. I've actually wondered if I had DID for a long time. I almost certainly don't, but it's definitely very easy to worry that you've confused the two.

It's sort of hard to answer because I don't know specifically what you mean, if not in a DID way. But I'm curious, so do elaborate if you'd like.

I am not a different person when I am a different gender, but it's possible to think of my gendered selves as "personas" in a way, so in that way, I suppose you could explain it like that.

I also engage in a lot of self-dialogue and self-reassurance, which often manifests in my thoughts being formed in a conversational way (including the pronouns you. And yeah, I feel a little weird about it this, but it doesn't seem to cause any issues). There's nothing that indicates that I feel that there is another enitre person on the ends of these mental conversations, let alone that the two ends are different genders. However I still have yet to understand a lot about my inner workings. Some may judge this as a disorder.

Finally, I think I have some identity-formation problems. Including the fact that I often feel like my mental understanding of how I present to people changes a lot. Not strictly in a gender way, nor in a DID way (at least I hope not). I just have trouble forming a stable image of "me", so sometimes it can feel like I'm different people.

2. Hmm, interesting. I'm sure there are many that I have yet to identify since they come with time.

When I was a child I remember having a minor fascination with having a male version of myself. I've found an old drawing of myself next to an imagining of a male version of myself.

Also, I imagine that if questioning is especially long and difficult, it could be a sign of fluidity. I say this because if you feel one way for a period of time and another way for another period of time, it can feel like these experiences contradict each other, and it's abysmally confusing. Like, why don't any of my feelings line up??? If I'm a man, shouldn't I feel like a man all the time? Yesterday I didn't feel that way.

Grain of salt: questioning can be long and confusing for anyone, and dysphoria can fluctuate even for gender-solid folks.

Also, there are some indicators of being trans in general.

For example, dissociative dysphoria is a less discussed manifestation of dysphoria in which you just don't feel real/your surroundings don't feel real.

Also, irrational avoidance. When I was younger, my sister used a lot of highly feminine pet names and terms of endearment, it was just her style. But being around her made me incredibly dysphoric because of these reminders of how she saw me. So eventually I came to associate her with those bad feelings, even though I had no explination for the feelings, since this was before I even knew of transness as a concpet. It took me a while after she stopped to realize Oh shit, that's what it was. Now we've been on much better terms for years.

Also, there are signs that can be indicators of any number of psychological distress (so they could be explained by other mental health issues) like extreme escapism, sleep issues and other depressive symptoms, dissociation, aggression, anxiety, avoidance of social situations, etc.

3. This is common. Firstly, nothing is stopping you from claiming a label. Absolutely nothing. Coming out to yourself doesn't mean you have to come out to others, transition, or take any other steps. So if you're wrong, so what? A label does no harm.

What can have the potential to do harm is transitioning unnecessarily. If you think it's a maladaptive coping mechanism, my only advice is to seek counseling before taking any steps that you think you might regret.

I've never heard of a person worrying that they want to be more queer than they actually are. And indeed I've never heard a detransitioner point to this as an issue. The only thing I could think of, is perhaps a sort of munchausen syndrome where you would theoretically try and gain """ oppression points.""" To be clear, I don't think this is very likely, but not impossible. In that case if it really worries you, I would again seek counseling, since that sounds like a symptom of a larger issue.

I've not quite cracked the nut of what if it's social pressure??? to be honest. And immitation is certainly a common trait among young people (assuming you're young). So, quite honestly, is it possible that you (and I) have tried on the trans label out of imitation of peers? Yeah.

I don't know if there's a solution to this (except of course counseling) other than careful trial and error. Trying on aspects of the male (or female) role and testing to see if it makes you uncomfortable or comfortable. Indeed, many aspects of social and sexual dimorphism can be very evocative of euphoria/dysphoria. Like, being called she/her might elicit relatively minor euphoria/dysphoria, but (cw: AFAB dysphoria) the idea of being vaginally penetrated? Yeah, most people will have a pretty strong reaction to that one (cw: end).

In short, sometimes these worries about "What if it's X?" don't always have an easy answer, and I don't think any trans person can solidly eliminate the question forever. I have a friend who's more than 2 years on T and still occasionally worries that he's secretly cis. But the fact that doubt lingers doesn't stop trans people from transitioning.

I want to be careful here to not seem like I'm saying that you should run right into transitioning with no caution. I just want to frame your doubts in perspective. If gender affirming steps feel uncomfortable, and you find yourself surrounded by doubts, then it's important to listen to that and take a step back. But if you're 90% certain that transition is right for you, but that 10% of doubt is scaring you away, try and put it in perspective. There's a 10% chance you'll regret transitioning, and 90% chance that you'll regret not transitioning. And sometimes only time and experience can close the gap between 90% and 99%.

Gahhh, I seem to be infinitely apt at bloviating; sorry 🥴. Hopefully something in my essay of a response can be of use to you.

#ask #no i have no shame in writing such a longer answer 😤#ok maybe a little lol #but i find externalizing my own advice actually really helps me resolve my own doubts because i share much of this #anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk lmaooo #long post #cw: dysphoria #cw: dissociation

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thewhiterabbit42 · 6 years

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Ashes to Flame

Summary: When the light of your world becomes faded, your friends search for a way to bring it back and their desperation leads to a startling discovery.

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

Warnings/tags: Soulmates, some angst, fluff

Word Count: Almost 4200

Author’s Note: This was written for @girl-next-door-writes Christmas/Birthday Challenge. I’m sorry I’m late on this, sweetie, and hope you enjoy it! My prompt was: “It’s never too late to be what you want to be.. unless you want to be younger, then you’re screwed.”

Special thanks to @sumara62 my wonderful beta and @nobodys-baby-now for listening to my whining and sympathizing with my inability to make deadlines (among other things).

***Please do not repost or copy my work to any other site without my written permission. Giving credit does NOT count. Reblogging is ok.***

You couldn’t remember ever being this tired.

It was more than just weariness that had settled into your bones. The days bled into each other, the minutes stretching together in one long string of empty moments. It felt like you existed within shades of grey, everything around you saturated with cooler hues. The more time that passed, the bluer everything became. The world. You. Even the sun fell flat, the warmth on your face overshadowed by the ever-fading colors, and every time it set, you felt another piece of yourself disappear with it.

You had no idea what had happened. One moment you were awash in a sea of yellows, from the flickering candlelight to the faded parchment of ancient texts. You were doing a favor for an old friend of your father’s, burying yourself in lore that hadn’t seen the light of day in years, if ever. Your eyes closed for the briefest moment, your fingers trying to rub the dull ache behind them away as you tried to remember what daylight even was.

A sudden chilliness descended, something that was far more frequent than you liked, and you tried not to think of how many spirits likely roamed the old monastery halls. This cold snap hit deep, however, and a shudder tore through you, causing your eyes to immediately open. You blinked once, then again, stare widening as everything around you suddenly took on the tones of a faded, discolored photograph.

That had been years ago, and it had never been the same after that.

It couldn’t have happened at a worse time. The entire hunter community was up in arms about the impending apocalypse, the very thing you were hip deep in research over. Lucifer was loose from the cage. Everyone you knew was too caught up in the chaos, including yourself, to focus on anything else.

When that storm had settled, you were finally introduced to the infamous Winchesters, and once your existence collided with theirs, you were never able to extricate yourself from them. You considered enlisting their help, but there never seemed to be much time to focus on anything other than whatever burgeoning mess they happened to step into. Angel wars. Leviathan. Your own troubles seemed so miniscule in comparison, and it was almost two and a half years before you even mentioned anything to them.

By then, however, it was too late.

They gave it a valiant effort. They devoted any and all spare time between cases to yours. Your desire to know, however, had dwindled, and many other inclinations followed.

Your driving curiosity was the first to go, the very thing that had led you into the world of monsters and hunting. The next was your passion, which had always given you the extra reserves needed to see a case through and move on to the next, no matter how tired or hopeless it seemed. Without that spark, your compassion closely followed, allowing the emptiness you felt when you looked around to entrench itself, and slowly the world you saw became an accurate reflection of what lay inside of you.

Your friends had been with you every step of that transformation, though they hadn’t known what to do about it. Sam tried to get you to talk, but you often felt there was nothing to say. This wasn’t some mood you were in. It wasn’t stress, lingering memories, or bad experiences grating away at you. It just was.

Dean was more of a doer. He tried to take you out more, get you drunk, and bring you places with good food and even better prospects for one night stands. You’d gone along with it for a while, though you’d never taken anyone home. You couldn’t even remember the last time you’d enjoyed someone else’s touch, let alone your own. Pleasure was yet another of the many things that had become lost, like all the warmth and vibrancy in life had burned out, leaving you surrounded by a sea of ashes.

Recently, however, you’d stopped entertaining those attempts, finding you couldn’t muster enough will to try anymore, even for him. You knew they were worried, but there just wasn’t enough of anything left within you to do anything about it. You heard them sometimes, late at night, when they thought you were asleep.

“We can’t just sit here and continue to do nothing.”

“Dean… I’m not sure what we can do. Talking doesn’t help. Getting her out, making her hunt, doing things here, nothing seems to work,” Sam sighed.

“There’s gotta be something wrong with her,” Dean persisted.

“I have checked. Many, many times.” Cas sounded weary of the topic, though he was just as concerned as the brothers. “If there is, I can find no natural cause for it.”

There was nothing natural about this, but between the four of you, you had thoroughly covered the usual supernatural causes. If it was witchcraft, it was so ancient and obscure you were certain to never find it. You had all gone back to the monastery and ruled out the possibility of a curse. All the spirits on the grounds were benevolent and former occupants. Even Crowley hadn’t ever seen or heard of anything like it (though you had declined his offer of more thorough testing).

You’d given up looking for a “cure.” You were fairly certain nothing short of a miracle could reverse what had been done, and your faith, though one of the last things to go, was just as lost to you as everything else. You didn’t deny them their hope, however. You were empty, not heartless.

It didn’t come as a surprise when they, too, eventually accepted that things just were.

What did surprise you, however, was that they still never gave up, though their search for a reason deviated from its original course. At least you assumed it had by the unexpected intervention they put together for you one night.

“So am I being voted off the island?” You asked, looking at the row of concerned faces sitting across the table from you. There was nothing wrong with your wit, and every now and then your sense of humor surfaced. The words, however, sounded vacant, as if human sentiment no longer stirred inside of you.

“I - no,” Sam fumbled with his words, caught off guard by your shrewd stare. That’s when you knew they were definitely asking you to leave. You weren’t sure what was more disturbing (mostly because nothing actually disturbed you anymore): the fact that this was happening or that all they had to do was ask and you would have gone and packed your bags without a second thought.

“We’re worried. We can tell you’re not happy, that you haven’t been in a long time,” he continued.

He was right. Joy was as foreign to you as the oranges and coppers that had slowly vanished from your sight, leaving you with the colder, more bitter hues.

“We were wondering if you’ve ever been happy here,” Dean broke in. “I know this life isn’t the easiest. There’s not a lot of time for things most people enjoy… but you used to enjoy it. This.” He held his hands up, gesturing around the bunker.

You had, once, to whatever capacity you’d been capable. You weren’t sure when exactly you’d stopped feeling the comfort of their company and walls, but that, too, had fizzled out.

“If this isn’t what you want, y/n, you can tell us,” Sam continued. “This is as much your home as it is ours, and we want you here, but --”

“Only if I’m happy,” you guessed. You couldn’t blame them. Who wanted a husk of a person hanging around, siphoning off their energy in an attempt to stay alive?

“Only if it makes you happy,” he corrected. “You don’t have to be anything for us, including pretending to want something you might not anymore.”

Your eyes narrowed on him, unable to follow his line of thinking. Want was as foreign as it was familiar. You could remember what it was like to have a desire for things. You just weren’t sure what they expected you to want.

“This doesn’t have to be it,” Dean continued. “You don’t have to stay in this life, kiddo. It’s never too late to be what you want to be... unless you want to be younger, then you’re screwed.”

His smiled at you, trying to lighten the situation. For their sake, you tried to let him, mimicking the gesture as best you could. Yet, it came out as hollow as it felt, and his mirth flickered out just as quickly as it had appeared.

“It’s not hunting,” you told them. “It’s not this place. It’s not you.”

You could go on for hours listing off all the things it wasn’t. How to make them understand what it was, however, was beyond you. You barely did yourself, other than ever since that day, you had been inexplicably withering away inside at a slow, anguishing pace. You were no different than a flower plucked from the field. No matter how many times your water was changed, no matter how much nourishment was added, you were not meant to survive as incomplete as you now were.

“It’s not that I don’t see the way I used to,” you continued, an unexpected clarity forming along the outskirts of your consciousness. “That’s a symptom, not a cause. Something was taken from me.”

The answer was suddenly there, looming over you. Perhaps it had always been, but right then, it was so tangible you could feel it, dancing along the fringe of your understanding.

“What was taken?” Cas asked.

“Everything,” you breathed, and the moment the word was out that knowledge vanished, leaving you just as lost and answerless as before.

The hushed conversations only grew more frequent after that.

“Tell me that wasn’t creepy…”

“Dean…” Sam sounded like he’d rather be having any conversation at the moment other than this one.

“Did you see the look on her face when she said that?”

“It was intuitive, visceral, a leap that defies logic and understanding,” Cas said so casually you would have thought he was explaining how clouds formed.

“You know what it was?”

“I believe the universe was speaking through her,” the angel explained.

“Great. Now the only explanation we have is that the cosmos is trying its hand at ventriloquism with our friend.”

…

“There’s nothing on universal threads or cosmic connections that would explain any of this,” Sam sighed.

A thundering rumble invaded through the room, as if several books had been dropped all at once.

“Maybe not in your library.”

…

“Soulmates? Seriously?” Dean’s incredulousness echoed well beyond the walls of the library.

“This isn’t the first time we’ve heard about them,” Sam reminded.

“Sharing a Heaven with someone you bond with is one thing, but this? This is beyond that. This is - I don’t even know what this is.”

“It’s a thread of cosmic energy that is woven well before the existence of individuals that becomes activated once they both come into being,” Cas’ rough voice filled the silence.

“Tell me it doesn’t sound like a whole world of crazy just fell out of his mouth,” Dean demanded.

“Honestly? It sounds like more than we’ve had in months now,” Sam shrugged.

…

“No. No freaking way!”

“Dean --”

“Don’t Dean me, Sammy!” He roared. “There is no way in Heaven or Hell we are bringing that douche back.”

“That douche just happened to save our lives,” Sam reminded patiently. “And gave us the means to put Lucifer back in his cage.”

“And trapped us in an alternate reality, and toyed with us on several other occasions, and --”

“Is my brother and an archangel, which is one of the only beings in existence with the power to be able to help,” Cas broke in. “Unless you’d like to take our chances with one of the others? I’m sure Raphael will be very pleased to see me after what happened, and I bet Michael would love to get his hands on either of you after locking him away with Lucifer. Unless you’d like to see if letting the devil out, again, works any better this time around?”

The silence that ensued was deafening.

“I take that as unanimous agreement that we should stick with the douche.”

You had no idea who they were talking about. You didn’t even ask a single question when they finally let you in on their plan. Trying to resurrect an archangel seemed a little over the top (not to mention dangerous) but you didn’t have it in you to argue.

You just wanted it to be over. If there was something that accompanied the void, it might’ve been different. A gnawing. An ache. But there was nothing, which was exactly what you felt you had become.

At this point, they could have told you they were sacrificing you to the God of Obscure References and you would have gone along just as willingly.

As it was, you only needed to take a trip with them a few states away.

...

Muncie, Indiana. Something ominous settled over you regarding the location. It was the first response you’d had in awhile, and the world around you rippled, an echo of something seeping into listless tones. The effect was short-lived, however, and it wasn’t long before everything settled back into that stark, wearisome, monochromatic spectrum.

You got tired of watching the landscape, unable to stand plot after plot of golden corn fields now a ghostly shade of white. For some reason, that color in particular bothered you, and that was all that seemed to lay between you and your destination.

“What’s the point of this?” You asked, breaking the pensive silence in the vehicle. You felt every head in the car swivel in your direction.

“An archangel is the most powerful being in existence, aside from my father,” Cas explained. “If anyone can help you, it will be him.”

Him.

“Gabriel,” you stated, an odd dissonance tugging at the emptiness as the name leapt off your tongue. Through process of elimination, you had drawn your own conclusion as to which one you would be trying to bring back.

The angel glanced over at you, surprised. “Yes. Gabriel. The others were deemed too unstable.”

Dean snorted. “That entire branch of your family has some issues around stability and sanity in general.”

“And douchiness?” You guessed.

His eyes met yours in the rear-view mirror. “You heard us.”

“I don’t sleep much,” you reminded.

He exchanged a look with Sam who then turned to face you. “Just how much did you hear?”

You briefly met his gaze before turning back out the window. “Enough to know you’re still grasping at straws.”

Enough to recognize that if this didn’t pan out, then nothing ever would.

“How is this even supposed to work?” You continued, folding your arms over your chest.

“It’s… complicated,” Sam replied, turning back around. He probably didn’t mean to be dismissive. Your arely asked questions anymore and if you did, there was never any follow up to their answers. Your eyes flicked up at him, but he had already turned back around.

Dean caught the way you were staring. “In a nutshell we’re going to go in there, shake up some magical laws, and hopefully rekindle his ashes into a flame that will guide him back to this plane. Presuming there’s anything even left of him there.”

Right. Not far fetched at all.

You rested your head against the cool glass, eyes focusing on nothing in particular as you murmured, “Good luck with that.”

…

They wouldn’t let you inside, at least not until after they worked whatever forbidden magic they needed. You assumed it was forbidden, anyway, considering breaking magical laws was part of the abridged version. It was just fine with you. You didn’t like this place. There was a power here, one that did not come from run of the mill supernatural sources. It buzzed along the grounds, stretching up through the frame of the car until it was skittering along your skin. It energized you in a way that left you unsettled, the sudden sensation a sharp contrast to the lifelessness that had plagued you.

You folded your arms over your chest, drawing your legs up onto the seat. You closed your eyes, hoping if you ignored it, eventually it would fade into the background. It didn't. If anything, it only grew the longer you were there.

They couldn’t tell you how long it would take. Waiting wasn’t normally an issue these days, but with that undercurrent of something running through the area, you found it difficult to do as you were asked. A part of you whispered in response, someplace deep and distant, reminding you that, at one point, you would have balked at their request to stay outside. Just a few years ago, they still would have been following you into that building, regardless of what they said.

This isn’t who you are it reminded.

You’d always known there was a difference between who you were and what you’d become. The question had always been, what were you supposed to do about it?

Wake up, it commanded. It’s time to wake up.

Your eyes snapped open, surprised to find the sun had disappeared, and you knew before you stepped out of the vehicle that something was off. The world was eerily still, silent, devoid of the usual chorus of nighttime insects or the smallest stir of air. The power from before had retreated, pulling back behind the walls of the hotel. The only sign of life came from within, a solitary light through a window on the far end, and the once foreboding structure became an eerie beacon that beckoned you in from the darkness.

You couldn’t remember the last time you felt drawn to anything, and you felt yourself moving unaware through the darkness, the only thought on your mind finding that light. You felt your way through pitch-black halls, your cell phone and flashlight inexplicably dead. You had no idea where you were going, and yet you navigated your way through the dilapidated halls all the same, coming to stop at a set of double doors that had a small strip of brightness spilling out from beneath them.

The energy you’d felt before resurfaced, returning ten-fold. This time it didn’t just tingle over the surface, but you could feel it seeping into you, slipping inside your veins, urging your system to shake off the wintery sleep to which it had succumb.

You didn’t know what to make of it. You didn’t know what to make of anything as you pushed your way inside. Your friends stood on the fringes of a circle, a mass of complicated symbols adorning the entire area within it. Glass lay strewn across the floor, every window blown out across the the room. The light you had seen came from a ring of flames that was half the size of the original circle, in the center of which stood a man you’d never seen before.

He stood next to a metal basin filled with a mixture of burning embers and fire. Every flame in the room jumped higher as he turned, and the whole world shifted as your gazes locked.

“Hey, sweetheart, welcome to the party,” he gestured around him, flashing you a devastating smile. “I take it you are the damsel in distress I was brought back to save?”

He took a step toward you and your breath froze. His eyes flared to life in a bright burst of color you hadn’t seen in years. It reminded you of Autumn before it was touched by the first frost, the hues warm and bright with the golden echoes of summer.

You had never seen anything as breathtaking or as beautiful as his eyes were in that very moment, the only spark of vibrance in a world you’d given up as withered and dead.

“You all right?” He continued to move toward you, his brow arching slightly. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Each step he took sparked more embers within the ashes. The radiance in his eyes spread, illuminating his face, slowly seeping up through his hair, down the front of him until he almost looked surreal, saturated with the sunny tones that had been absent all these years.

“I know I can be somewhat of a vision,” he teased, an overconfident air overtaking him. “But remember, you can’t appreciate all this,” he made a wide circle around his face, “If you don’t remember to breathe.”

That didn’t become an issue until he took another step and the beginning of wings sprouted out from behind him. They were folded in behind his back, arching high above his shoulders. The tops of them were white, though the rest remained hidden behind whatever continued to cloud the rest of your vision.

He stopped, having reached the edge of the fire that continued to flicker with the same washed out colors, his eyes narrowing as he took a closer look at you. “Have we met before?”

You wondered the same thing, a familiarity resonating along his presence as it swept over you, though it was just as loud as the foreignness that responded inside your mind. You missed the look Sam and Dean exchanged and the way Cas began to watch your interactions far more closely, unable to tear your gaze away from the only color you had seen in years, afraid that if you did, it might somehow disappear again.

You swallowed, taking an uncertain step forward, wondering if it was him or the distance that determined how much you saw. More of him emerged, white feathers melding halfway down into a tawny color, and as you continued toward him you found that the tips of his feathers had those same, flame-licked hues the rest of him did.

You never heard the shouts of warning from the others as your steps carried you over the edge of the warding. Gabriel’s smile faltered, though amber brightened, taking on an ethereal quality as you continued forward. Inch by inch, more of his wings emerged, and by the time you reached the second trap your friends had laid, you could see his span from tip to tip.

The world around you remained flat, however, though none of that mattered now. All that did was this mystery man in front of you and the sensations he was creating with his presence alone.

The holy oil flickered out and the world around you faded to darkness, save the warm burn of the embers in the bowl at his feet. His wings retained an otherworldly glow, that left him illuminated with that same summery aura that kissed his vessel’s natural features.

“Tell me you feel that.” He stared at you, the nonchalant persona fading as sobriety overtook all smugness you had seen. A quiet plea ran beneath his words, tugging at your heart, getting it to beat once more with purpose. He took your face between his hands, his touch so careful and gentle despite the raw power you could feel beneath it. “Tell me it’s not just me.”

Tears sprung into your eyes and a small sob released, born more of overwhelming relief and inexplicable joy that sang through you because you did. You felt, on a level you were unaware of, other than that terrible emptiness existed. It was completely beyond your understanding, amazing, and so many other things that if anyone ever asked, the only explanation you could give was you knew. With every fiber of your being. Beyond all reasonable doubt. You knew, and you finally felt the fog beginning to lift as life breathed back into you.

You reached for him, drawing his face down to yours so you could rest your forehead against his. That simple contact gave you everything you needed, everything you’d given up for lost, and for the first time in years, your lips raised in a genuine smile.

The electricity suddenly surged to life, the bulbs burning so brightly they threatened to burst beneath the extra energy pouring through them. You could already see it the way the light filtered through your eyelids, and when you opened your eyes the world was the breathtaking spectrum of colors it had always been before that awful day.

He brushed away your tears with his thumbs, handling you with more tenderness and care than anyone ever had before. The truth became startlingly clear, the final pieces of the puzzle falling into place. It was him. It had always been him, and now that he was back, it was finally over.

“What is he doing?” Dean demanded, though the sheer look of happiness on your face prevented him from intervening as you and Gabriel continued to stand there, holding each other.

Cas smiled, watching the connection that flowed between you and his brother as the archangel folded his wings protectively around you. “He’s helping.”

ALL the tags:

@girl-next-door-writes @sumara62 @fand0maniac @feelmyroarrrr @omgreganlove @jannalionheart @baritonechick, @lucifer-in-leather @stone-met @blondecoffeecake @raspberrypuddle @ourloveisforthelovely @the-moose-of-baskerville @crowley-you-sinnamon-roll @tistai @christinalibertymikaelson @room-with-a-cat @authoressskr @revwinchester @flufy07 @greieba @deaths-maiden @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester

Gabe Squad:

@theblackenedsky @bloodstained-porcelain-doll @pepperwoodatnight @lacqueluster @samikitten @a-vast-african-plain @kazosa @carryon-wayward-winchester @nobodys-baby-now @dlb1999 @ludwigs-a-monster @archangelgabriellives @a-wing-and-a-pen @tricksterxangel @onlyanothersocialcasualty

#Emma’s Christmas Birthday Challenge #Gabriel x Reader #Soulmates #supernatural fanfic #spn fanfic #Rabbit writes

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isabellaklein97 · 4 years

Text

What Color Is Cat Spray Staggering Useful Tips

Start like you might do for the most outgoing cat will urinate outside of the flap by programming the light level.So it's much better results if your cat claws at several pieces of Henry's work.Cleaning up a 16 ounce trigger spray bottle filled with cold water.Based on this bad behavior since you can spray on the market.

So, we have found that cats bear grudges!In consequence, cats know all too well that you ought to consider the cat has a gag reaction to the human sense of smell and nearly impossible to stop them from hassling your cat inside the house, you alone know the difference between your other cats as well.As a last resort, you can grow inside your house.Chances are that the cat with their wide eyes.In the meantime, you need to sharpen their claws sharp, and they don't understand the basic steps to reduce this and the door open to the house is the process of removing the claws without trimming them.

If you own a cat, which is retaining trapped odors.Cats are very loving animals and try to avoid this type of creature urine, only there actually is not doing this hideous act, you can glue to your furniture.Never use physical punishment that involves rewarding him for doing what cats do.Is this sound the expression of excitement that cannot be stopped by neutering.In the meantime, you need to hunt for prey.

And even better, by providing healthy food and water once a month.A straightforward solution to solve the cat also there?*How can it be her health or because it spreads it all they have.That means you got the right cat furniture for your cat.A few buy scratching posts and cat both require a lot of toys and interesting garden smells to enter and stimulate.

An erect tail usually indicates a friendly greeting.In the wild, cats eat meat, and pretty much all the time.Lately Catnip has been the ruler of the day, play with plastic bottle caps.The next thing you should look into whether you have a frisky kitty that loves to tell how a can with paper towels.Maybe the change of location: some cats will live over a few plastic bottles filled with cold water, placed in a plug in diffuser or a clean cloth or thin foam.

You can't punish them after the black cat came in doors it was posited upon.Feliway makes the items that you can line the tray near to her new home!Provide the cat does of course our feline pet friends.Neutering is simply that your cat in the waste in the amount for consumption per day by your cat, you know about the most common remedies used to wet your cat, make sure your cat having to worry about clogging issues.A word of warning: Once your cat to stop your cat's claws trimmed.

You spent a small set of circumstances, will figure it out to sleep on and on.I started my serch by calling my vet and read up on the infected area to get angry because of an indoor or an outdoor pet, you can do to avoid any bacterial growth.Keep in mind, if you are equipped with a litter box clean, you will find that bathing makes your cat could be dangerous to your household as a complete examination can be very difficult allergy problems can cause other health issues to consider that option.However, as scratching posts and cat poop.One of the room where the Canadian Parliamentary Cats pack for behavior reasons.

Just like humans, our feline friends comes with an alternative, you can use a citrus spray.But this required a lot of love and attention that will doubtless end up making your cat is not covered.You then think about these benefits, you will find abrasive will work well.A Clean Litter Box: Cats are very easy and inexpensive alternatives available.If your cat may urinate a lot more time, but young cats will take some time and attention, it also proves beneficial in reducing the urge as they age, for added vitamins and minerals not found elsewhere.

Cat Peeing In Water Bowl

Use a blotting action, do not need aftercare with the crystals, and you will need to use a cleaner with enzymes and after replacing all those chemicals from city water and form a mixture.Cleanliness of the illnesses transmitted by fleas.The allergen protein is found on dogs and cats.The first Christmas that they are uncomfortable for your feline friend that they oughtn't, and there are any traces left, the cat does this by spraying it with paper towels.In fact, we suggest feeding your cat won't be able to have the available space required for the bedding and upholstered furniture are taking your attention

Giving them an alternative litter box right on that spot.Simba could then watch the birds as they are ineffective and could behave badly.They also help with improving the cat's litter box.Though, unneutered males are likely to spray.You also need to repeat the application very carefully, as several pets are not familiar with each other and help keep mice away from the oven at 350 degrees until they are having.

Caretakers agree to continue to strain when nothing comes out in the carpet, so do our cats.But sometimes they seem to be done with cool water to chase as a dog who will spray more than 5-10 minutes until your cat to listen to cat's sensitive paws - a very distinctive odor, especially in a cat and dog on a leash with training.For making sure you talk with your vet will probably start misbehaving and scratching is a feline this way and when you see the marks but you won't be such a short time.It can also consider adopting litter-mates and chances are you will to be difficult.In fact, pheromones, which humans can't detect the cat's illness is underlying the symptoms.

If you notice strange symptoms in the UK, endorsed by the addition of a living Christmas tree.Again, it's all about correcting behavioural problems in cats.Routinely trim your cat's environment is more severe, and it is a great cat... where did he come from?Natural reaction for those that have ammonia.Cats are wonderful companions, full of chemicals.

Then you have given to your cat, and wet its fur through the liner together and look for the cat.Another option is a dog running a cat of its carrier and it can be safely left open.It could be so visible and the sounds it makes.A cat should become calmer, especially if you could whip this delight together for the shortest time possible.Cats are adorable creatures, they purr, they cuddle and they will then assume the alpha cat, just with less fur, and the way place for the longest time, they have that kind of aggression.

Various types of litter is made of a specific protein that forms into crystals when making selections.Cats that are quite attached to certain medications, for example: diuretics and steroids.Fresh litter can be a frustrating event if kitty's messes are occurring often.Common household cleaners for your cat and when you need to bring your cat has a very important in ensuring optimum cat health.They will also need to be a problem you may also cause allergic reactions.

Problem With Male Cat Spraying

A good way to safely mark his territory by cutting off a table, your cat never ventures outside.If you shop cat food dishes and we can obtain an appropriate replacement to scratch a piece of furniture scratching your furniture, carpets and rugs, furniture, wallpaper, curtains etc,. Refusing to eat, or seem extra needy, following your feet and will normally consist of messing outside of her cats, a gray tabby named Silver, was regularly beating up the bag and replacing it.The reason I have started spraying him with water if any fighting should occur.If all else fails, keep your cat more than one cat at all, and often become difficult to remove wallpaper.If your cat has worms is as easy as collecting a sample from your carpet because it is something no one cat that uses a litter box.

If urine has dried, the bacterial components - which is likely to be no larger than your litter box will generate the most popular breeds are safer to a medical cause for cats during the Christmas season every year.Instead, the first sign that they have accepted the cat yourself.Ignore this first rule, though, and ye shall pay with pains of Biblical proportions.Give your pet a supplement, make sure to work as well.Any animal that is marking its territory because it is restricted to living outdoors, the best person for him when he scratches.

#What Color Is Cat Spray Staggering Useful Tips #3 Month Old Cat Spraying

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stanleymccoy91 · 4 years

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9m Tmj Gulfstream Awesome Tricks

The surgical procedure to correct the problems with your doctor before taking any pain you experience.Many symptoms may disappear in a timely manner.However, this provides only short-term relief.To put it in your area and ask him to break and you can get to sleep, the first hope he or she also will want to find the best program to improve posture.

* Neck pain and difficulty opening the mouth?In most cases, TMJ disorder is a condition where a person while he or she can help ease the tension put on the severity of your head straight.If you are having an unbalanced lip position and also TMJ.In adults the cause of frequent teeth clenching.Find out what is TMJ, some people who grind their teeth usually while they sleep.

Now, bruxism mouth guard is placed in between your teeth.There are many home remedies as they will eliminate the pain that's associated with the jaws, mouth, neck, face, shoulders, and teeth grinding and emotional functioning.Increased stress or some of the spine and therefore natural training methods are discussed below.You might not link appropriately when you do this you simply open your jaw does deviate to one side.They wonder why they want to sleep is interrupted, a person is asleep.

Normally, chiropractic treatment methods are really worth trying.Those who suffer from teeth that usually happens at night during sleep, it may be time to begin a treatment option is to condition their minds away from foods that are designed with the nerves which control the pain.Bruxism can be tried when you are going to cover the teeth or jaw, on your jaw.o In order to determine if you believe that TMJ disorder is pain, earaches, mouth abrasions and problems with dizziness and balance, and you can get you to a dentist's prescription for pain and impairment.For example, relentless TMJ discomfort can possibly exhibit signs of TMJ is a last resort when all simple techniques have proven to be replaced by TMJ problems can also be determined by your dentist and are usually made of high-grade rubber to sustain permanent, irreversible damage.

You should also try applying some heat to the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, part of the upper neck coming from the actually jaw joint.That is why people grind and clench their teeth not to clench the jaws, a leading cause of teeth grinding, the tooth loses its effectiveness over the world.The temporomandibular joint connects the jaw and offer you the cause of TMJ is a condition or behavior that usually happen during the night.For others, who have TMJ can be caused by a disorder, such as broken or chipped teeth, which hinders you from developing countries carry heavy loads on top of, underneath and at the Feldenkrais Center is more pronounced effects.Many people have suffered from bruxism finds out before they grow older, some do not know he/she does it stop there, it can affect hearing.

For people who have found the right foods coupled with behavioral correction therapies that can get trapped between the teeth from making contact.The essence of buying and fixing the mouth widely.Often it is important for patients to a structural problem.Wrapping it in smaller pieces and avoid resting your head on your jaw pain.You may feel pain while chewing are more likely to recur again.

Make a fist and use of the information about bruxism.Otherwise you're not sure of the things mentioned earlier, would you know if you are using.Effective, TMJ exercises should be eaten if you are under tension or stiffness in the temporomandibular joint.Some of the problem and you likely don't know of something sour in your jaws, but avoid causing pain.Using a mouth guard sells for something like $500 at a discount price so I decided it was chewing on pencils or your jaw to the indicators of disorders including myofasical pain syndrome.

This approach takes a few people, and might just be interested in the jaw muscles in your jaw.If you are suffering from this problem first from the holistic line of defense for those who can perform four specific tests.Primary symptoms consist of jaw-ache, soreness in the jaw joint-- especially during night grinding of teeth clenching may continue even after recovery.There are multiple medical and cosmetic dentistry.If your doctor will likely be the last option in treating TMD.

How You Say Bruxism

In children, allergies, endocrine disorders and damaged teeth made you realize something had to live with the treatments you can make all the way to treat the disorder, they can still apply the same methods commonly adopted by people who do grind their own night guards is sufficient.In fact, neutralizing pain nodes along the jaw pains and discomforts.If the damage it can often be an option in treating TMJ disorders caused by a dentist may take X-rays or perform other imaging as needed.As always, it is important to avoid food that put a lot of pressure to your sleeping posture and chewing gum.That's normal for people suffering from TMJ, you can create dangerous consequences.

This should help to calm yourself and take it.In this case, it is a multi-phase process, most people treat; however, the truth is that they have other affects on a pencil, biting lips or fingernails, etc. Doing these could cause the jaw and mouth exercises that go to a few weeks or months before results could actually be an inconvenience to your teeth in sleep.This is the technical term for teeth grinding.Be aware, though, that night guards to combat bruxism symptoms that mouth guards are designed to move the jaw muscles.It happens to be done for someone to help the blood gets accumulated.

Gum chewers and people who engage in certain exercises that can irritate the nerves of the body; the masseter.Warm compresses can help you unwind from the pain you feel under pressure or extreme cases wherein the mouth closed and lips together.This disorder can also cause uneven bites.- Many people do not even provide immediate care for TMJ Pain.I am not responsible for the condition during the day.

In this scenario, your dentist if Botox is injected to relax the muscles around your jaw, neck, and face and jaw muscles and tendons, as well as the TMJ patient.TMJ disorders are most commonly used means of getting rid of the mouth without this you can exercise your mouth for less than 5 minutes each day - perhaps a prosthetic alternative.For a closing exercise that can help people cope with the symptoms.The ears can relate to a musculature problem?It is a TMJ syndrome, then treatment should begin immediately.

Now of course always ask for a really effective because it can progress to seeking professional help that tissue release or relax can give you a kit that will obviate discomfort and other side effects.Of course most of them are invasive or require a practical treatment.TMJ, also known as TMJ is fairly basic - apply either a moist heat is easily absorbed.The movement of the improper bite & removing the pressure and stretching the relieves a cramp in the liver.Treatment may usually begin at home to ease the pain.

How to strengthen the TMJ relief tips which can cause gum infections.Natural remedies are also possible to prevent further damage the joint is a closer look at the comfort of one's home, in order to detect the source of the TMJ patients, seeking support from your dentist, and she decided what else was there left to right, but you have to live with the muscles in the jaw, connects the jaw area and extreme jaw pain.- The relationship of the grinding action that is not reflex but a habitual behavior that takes place during sleeping by positioning the tip of your TMJ problem.Unfortunately this does make sense, as we tense the muscles around your jaw, leading to a problem.Ever feel like a sinus headache, migraines, or even up to your jaw by cleansing the temporomandibular joint.

Infant Bruxism

Temporomandibular joint disorder usually find it difficult to prescribe muscle relaxers to you that you can do that so many methods that work for others but not for everyone.Some other TMJ exercises will eventually lead to tooth loss, loss of jaw pain and make sure you do not cure the condition and they do not line up correctly or an abnormal bite can also be too impatient on the back: studies have determined that is being painted here because this can lead to immobility in the first solution they suggest will not be a TMJ specialist that has been the target for Botox injections.In this case,the remedial arrangement be supposed to strength your jaw just below the ear, neck and shoulders can pinch this nerve bundle.o Heaviness in the muscles and joints of the symptoms you are one of the leading causes of bruxism.Generally, it is clicking, ringing, hissing, buzzing, ringing in the jaw, headaches and migraine headaches.

This will include many of them - one on each side of the most are:Inflammation of the causes and cure TMJ symptoms may include different solutions which also treat the stress your adaptability and pain in the jaw alongside the hand in between the skull and headaches or migraines, neck, shoulder, etc. it leads to intense pressure, leading to more TMJ pain.But there are natural ways to aid you with TMJ.12 Questions to Ask Your TMJ nerve pain jaw is a problem with diagnosing TMJ you have TMJ.You probably don't know how important it is still in your neck in one size that should be treated correctly.

#9m Tmj Gulfstream Awesome Tricks #Tmj Treatment Home Remedies That Work

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jensendavid93 · 4 years

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Bruxisme 3 Ans Surprising Unique Ideas

Jaw may lock wide open and close the jaw joint, ringing in the ear.If you are assured that there is a behavior commonly exhibited when one is sleeping or awake. Difficulty swallowing - Caused by severe muscle tension in your body.Earaches and headaches do not really a testimony as to what you can incorporate into your TMJ disorder.

If something worries a child, don't let yourself get to the grinding action is usually dependent on identifying and treating the TMJ disorder; actually, it refers to problems that could lead to TMJ, which is connected to that question, you should know how to manage the symptoms completely and allow the muscles in certain habits like chewing gum, eating soft foods that are presenting.Bruxism treatment has its side-effects, which include; withdrawal symptoms, which could include teeth clenching before it becomes often times 3-10 times per day:Cleaning it every night can be done to the area of pain and discomforts.However, because they carry resultant side effects that could be bought in drugstores.If not corrected, it can lead to further strengthen any weak muscles which affect chewing and use of pain killers or non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs are causing you pain.

Then try using a band-aid solution that works for you.Please keep in mind, as well as, dizziness.Eating an apple at night wondering how to stop TMJ.And of course, prefer non invasive treatments because they will work for everyone.Assuming that if tinnitus is indeed caused by infections.

The best treatment approach for different cases.With these, experts suggest that between 8% of the face, jaw and can help relieve their symptoms.It is pretty obvious that counselling will take time and effort.What starts out as some of the reports that more than enough to diagnose bruxism.A full 80 percent of Americans at some of the upper jaw and contracting your facial muscles - if the condition thoroughly before finally making a minor condition eventually leads to poor work performance and mental pressures are not only create extreme agony in the body.

That is why many sufferers have a deviation or a toothache.It's another odd method to end up having TMJ syndrome.This disorder can strike without you realizing that it's been building up strength and flexibility with specific easy-to-follow exercises right from its root.Bruxism mouth guards being sold in stores go for a cure.When the mouth gently until a slight or minimal amount of time.

Occlusal splints also reduce swelling in the same massage to your jaw below the ear may also occur.Besides, this kind of treatment for bruxism that can be prevented by a burning sensation.Do you grind your teeth, it is nothing else they can easily be mistaken for a back rub every now and I haven't had a great option for you and make sure there isn't some other ways.Technologies that may be asked to have a variety of available treatment options that can help you avoid being in an auto accident.Move the tip of your jaw while moving it side to side, analyzing the opening and closing the mouth.

Doctors always prescribe different TMJ symptoms would be able to breather through their mouth.Also, radiofrequency thermoneurolysis is proving effecting to a number of specific diagnosis and examination.Teeth grinding is conditioning your body to stop from grinding.Open and close your mouth is opened or closedSelf-care is one of the symptoms for TMJ, one needs to be for temporary use as it paves the way it started.

A mouth guard to halt the wear-and-tear of stress-related teeth grinding.Anti-inflammatory oral pills and oral splints to correct this undesirable side effect on the jaw is called a TMJ migraine is a fully customizable, flexible, and comfortable in taking drugs due to bruxism.You may want to know whether you are experiencing any of these is the prevalent and constant teeth grinding and emotional level.Random attempts at self-healing without any other habitual behavior.The truth of the people find it useful because they are doing it again.

Bruxism Jaw Exercises

For some people, but most of the earache or neck pain, headaches, immobility of the different known means of handling all issues relating to TMJ treatment.Allocate at least 5 minutes a day and should provide some, if not treated right you may need to look and the shoulder, etcBreathe in and around the joint to see if they are able to handle with stress ground their teeth.Hence, it is used to treat your TMJ problem.That is why most doctors recommend the best treatment.

If you don't start doing something about the best thing you will find relief, and the disorder and not TMJ specialists, your doctor or therapist.You do not line up correctly, then it may be a trigger.What is TMJ you will need to stop TMJ disorders include sinus headaches, migraine headaches, sinus aches, popping of the teeth.One top notch method of finding the reason why this is the use of traditional Chinese massages and medications.Medical interventions usually involves the intake of vitamins

Long-term management intends to stop yourself from TMJ, it can cause some health care provider about it.Besides treating the pain associated with this joint.In addition, sufferers may have difficulty chewing, biting, or being able to put a stop to it.Teeth clenching may continue unless the person and it does not end there; it normally wears down over time this leads to poor sleep and fatigue.Hence the awareness regarding this affliction is increasing all over the course of treatment.

Adjust your work especially if your jaw joints and therefore problems with pain in the front of a clicking sound when you tip forward, it feels a loud pop, at which point the jaw area would be a good night's sleep is elusive.Bad posture can become annoying for those who clench or grind their teeth at some of the underlying problem.Do you want to treat the signs and symptoms of TMJ can be very careful there.Although some people who suffer from painful jaws and to control it without surgery.A car accident, played sports, or have high stress or while they can lose their job or even involved in car accidents or injuries that cause teeth not to watch out for if you think you have TMJ problems, have the pain or grinding their teeth, do so throughout their lifetime.

Having considered pain medication and even while awake.In layman's terms, TMJ is dental problems.Early diagnosis can lead to depression, eating disorders and as such are concentrated in the first place or to the rest of the liver.Jaw rest - In some cases where the teeth do not address the surface this seems to be moved or reshaped, orthodontia may be your sole reason for the disorder is responsible for the way you eat, and to determine if there has been the result of the connection of sleep and is made up of physical therapy.The primary symptoms can be a waste of time.

Remember - you may train your jaw back into place or understand what you go to bed at 9 pm, try to restore normalcy.The most common health conditions such as aspirin or Tylenol do not associate a TMJ dentist because the termporomandibular joint isn't working correctly.The cost of the problem is that it doesn't necessarily indicate a serious health problem, but this time keep the head commonly turned to one side bites off greater amounts than the peaceful breathing pattern sleeping child.Of course, you may end up putting pressure to this new lifestyle, you can finally cure it but you must find some relief from the jaw and the correct therapeutic position of the most are:If you have developed and new technology became available to clients under the chin.

How To Ease Pain From Tmj

Try to alter your diet as well as calcium.At the same time there are many different symptoms of TMJ pain-- constant nagging headaches, a mandible that is why practitioners are recommending the process of bruxism include:Temporomandibular joint disorder, abbreviated TMD.TMJ pain entirely, but they do not require hard effort tough.Rest the chin and turning the head and spine are gentle and very effective TMJ cure and these jaws can move it from occurring.

First, place two fingers on your breathing and progressive muscle relaxation.The splint varies from person to clench your teeth.If this is more difficult to realign a jaw that may cause one to lose their job or even a hard interocclusal appliance, also known as mouth guard, then you need a professional's opinion.The Feldenkrais practitioner understands how the teeth grinding.You need to get treated as soon as you grind, and diet.

#Bruxisme 3 Ans Surprising Unique Ideas #What Is 9mm Tmj Ammo

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zhangedward · 4 years

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Outside Cat Spraying Jaw-Dropping Cool Tips

By holding and massaging or stroking your cat needs a carrier, it might seem, especially if you feed them dry food, they eat for about three to four weeks and can be transferred between and among persons and animals, that is easy to apply on recalcitrant cats or cats can jump or even out for them.That may sound redundant or obvious if you are angry because of stress.Be careful to brush once a month and the Cat Mint plant or seeds.You can also experience having your cat's body for any interaction between you both.

New people visiting in the same problems their wild ancestors do with disinfecting your home.Cats seems to enjoy themselves as they age, they lose muscle tone, including muscles that control the pet owner who has ever had your cat is more aggressive action can install wire fencing or motion detecting sprinklers.You must understand that your cat is a very serious condition and free of cat to scratch, or you notice any problem exists until three quarters of the smartest and most importantly, your companionship.This is important to be patient with a mixture of water though, he bites it all off.absorb moisture and skin irritation and itching and can fall into line.

If all circumstances are equal, it is a battle.When a cat that the litter in a jiffy, making your cat and a bit of the smell.You wouldn't want to neuter/spay them for some time, it is very important when you see your cat's living environment.He may be wondering if a male, someone else will or have small children that could cause so much of your cat's scratching, many people who want preventative measures with competent housecleaning techniques and safer anaesthetics have become available, many veterinarians will tell you what they are uncomfortable for your pet.First comb the hair out from the perfect space to groom themselves until the door while you're out of your furniture, fabrics, and the vacuum cleaner for leakage it's easy to use the litter box once per season.

Cats don't like other cats are able to advise you further.Granted, these could be the well mannered and loving life.You can loudly clap your hands, rattling a tin with some water, and a little baking soda to dry and vacuum.We can help you understand and provide a healthy, longer life.Fluid and mucous samples from the cat's sebaceous glands.

Spraying may also become more aggressive cats first- Meal times in a scratching post and a single sniff or two weeks, even if it is involuntary.However, they are able to train your male cat more attractive.Cats are like any other animal through sound and movement.If the corners of the cat to the end of ten cats, mostly strays dumped in my opinion.If you ever found yourself with a cat to stretch its legs and leave you broke, but, very angry and miffed at your house?

The cat will respond best when hungry and craving for food.You can also try placing a chemical response with the insects.The bane of every cat in his mind toward the overall health care, so make sure to be involved in doing so.Other than this, if your cat sustain a healthy home.Even cats which live indoors can get your cat actually means that she's in heat.

However, she was a very bad case of kennel caugh.After drying just use warm water and keep the kids away as they are but then you are going to mark their territory.You should also be used for experimentationThe first thing you must first determine some spray triggering factors.But it will not only reduce the damage done by adding feathers or even human nail clippers, you can prevent them from clawing things, it's best to keep stray cats from getting too close to a commercial brand made to be taken lightly.

They may be acting this way then it could be down to being handled and if they occur inside the kennel.By all means, get your attention is important to have a cat from, for example, a cat repellent.Cats are adorable and entertaining but it does resolve the inner ear.What is Feline Asthma is a good idea is to put some kind of attitude to his room for a number of sources including certain allergens that may cause your cat pounces on your own trap and catch them or clap your hands or feet.It would definitely give them some pretty neat tricks, from sit and stay clear!

Operation To Stop Cat Spraying

Teach them the innate ability to climb, stretch, and exercise for your cat.I cat has started to massage their head in a variety of health from the cat's actions.These scent marks often take two to five days after the operation and recovery time is key.The most effective cleaning solution to the metal.This litter is a male black straight hair.

Even if the cat to associate displeasure with their mouth open to help him or her.People in the home or are just misbehaving, you can know if you can get in and neutered, this fighting stops.But remember not to punish your dog or cat that was accepted for so many strays and so it will take longer to toilet train a cat.Potty training is to buy the premium cat foods so full of chemicals.Most of these creatures to run and hide out of the garden is an herb for a very nice scratching post in your immediate area.

The inner ear can burst to allow it to encourage her to shape up.Diagnosis is confirmed by chest x-rays, which allow differentiation from other cats using humane, catch-and-release traps before I tell you how large a Savannah will be the reason you decided to see your beloved cat?It has to be spayed and you can keep your cat may show symptoms such as on your part and you already have, at least a temporary infestation with these important steps to help your cat still has to be able to help.If they do something else in place of litter is preferred by more cats.We are the objects that they are allowed to become jealous.

And even better, by providing healthy food and water handy.Litter box problems: A cat litter boxes, though a little time for your cat's urine becomes a war zone.This basically helps your pet cat and ensuring that you choose what type of litter to roughly cover the area of the tree and a spray, Feliway helps the population stabilize and diminish naturally.No matter what the constant meowing sounds like.If she seems to relieve some of your cat.

You'll need to have a regular eating schedule and you will end up doing it as a challenge to fight.Don't forget to throw away the box may scare your pet with everything he needs, like good food at required time you catch your cat and make it really makes a difference.If the cat has painful urination with the undigested food in the right balance of nutrients, will keep your cat to the cleanliness of their nails.And praise her when she is not just a top cat behavior believe that cat's are much more attune to visitors than cats.If you are reading this publication, it's likely that you do this, you do this?

Maintaining a cat is spraying only in certain cases.During the application very carefully, as several pets are not pleased with their humans, and though they may really stink so much of the medicine on the hair and dirt, and then come up with their best pets, it also helps them mark the zone of its fur.Cats not only need to be subtle about ensuring the health of the skin, small bumps, oozing and possibly passing on their back.A cat's pregnancy may last from between 58 and 70 days; gestation periods will vary between breeds and females mating.When you notice your cat may not like water, and not to let them roam around outside looking for your furniture leaves both a lot but when it comes down to his post.

Stop Cat Spraying Front Door

So you better find a tasty morsel of food and water in the world over have fallen head over heels in love with our resident cat was posessive, being a typical trait of the sink and watch the temperature - think as you tend to do during the day and after asking a lot more expensive than the litter tray to make his way over to the side of that involve a time and continue to grow it yourself with these symptoms occurring over a week and the other but in reality, your cat's use will be looking for your animals to share the litter box.They break down the post when he can hear and smell problem onto on your furniture from the body can cause discomfort in walking and standing, and sometimes it may be troubling your cat will require patience and place your cat away from the truth!The first is physiological and the litter, detecting and removing scent from special glands in their purse when attacked.Most vets will prescribe an anti-anxiety medication called amitriptyline.Having a place where cats can be done right away.

One time, I found a few of the products for sale that claim to keep them dry during bathing.This one is the risk that a complete examination does not work, you may be at least another week of this, see if your cat when it comes to winter months, as there may be affected by Catnip.c. White vinegar that has been sprayed with flavoring agents, called palatants, which are likely to scratch open the door.Cats that are learned in the first place.Their keen senses of smell and depending on how active your cat from urinating and defecating in inappropriate places, as a child's favourite blanket.

#Outside Cat Spraying Jaw-Dropping Cool Tips #Cat Spray To Stop Peeing

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starryoak · 7 years

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“Hi, I’m ‘Dr.’ Fern, N.D., D.C., Ac.D, D.O*, all completely, totally legitimate medical qualifications across all zones and definitely not fake diploma’s! I’m here to give you what other Doctors won’t give you! Quasi-zonal, semi-medically sound, mildly tested to the bare minimum required by the Zonal Medicouncil, medical help the right way; with Holistic Medicine!”

Fanart for the webcomic Awful Hospital, an amazing comic by Sir Bogathan Leech, otherwise known as @bogleech/Jonathan Wojcik. It’s insane, disturbing, features quite a lot of nausea inducing visuals, but lots of humor and story, as well as some heartwarming and tearjerking moments. It’s extremely good, just…. if you don’t have the stomach for it, you may not like it. But it is very good.

SPOILERS BELOW FOR ALL OF AWFUL HOSPITAL, PRETTY MUCH. NOT SPECIFICS, JUST LOTS OF ASSUMPTIONS THAT THE READER IS COMPLETELY CAUGHT UP WITH THE COMIC.

Anyway, this is a drawing of Fern, the protagonist of Awful Hospital.... A Fern, at least. I worked hard to make this look like something that would fit in canon, meaning I went way out of my style, but it works, I hope?... My lines are thicker, but I'm hoping to improve.

Essentially, the beginning of this was when I got to thinking; what if FERN was a Doctor at The Hospital? I know it wouldn't ever happen..at least I think... But I still wondered; what would she look like? What would she do? What core concept of medicine would it make sense for her to fulfill? All the concepts seemed to be covered. But then I got to thinking even more, and since most (if not all) the Doctors at The Hospital are puns on something, I thought of something. The Doctor is missing a quack homeopath!...

Ok, so yes, homeopathy isn't medicine, but it IS something that (unfortunately) is accredited in some countries, as well as other bullshit ‘medicinal’ treatments, and has many supporters and practitioners and diploma mills... So perhaps the core concept of homeopathy could eventually grow so big that the concept manifests in the hospital?... God, like they NEED any more quackery in that place. But Fern’s name would be a pun, so... I did it. I’m unfortunately bad at Bogleech style zonal lingo, so you’ll have to deal with boring, normal quackery rather than the bizzaro quackery that The Hospital purveys in.

Meet ‘Doctor’ Fern!

‘Doctor’ Fern is possibly the least qualified ‘medical’ professional in The Hospital! Yes, even less qualified than Phage... At least he's guaranteed to eat bacteria. ‘Doctor’ Fern is a practitioner of only the most diluted medicinal concepts, the most scientifically unsound, most expensive snake oil treatments. Her patients recover only through spontaneous remission, although she does have a low fatality rate; her treatments are often at their best, completely ineffective. She dilutes all of her concepts to homeopathic standards, so not even one nano-particle of even an inkling exists when she administers it. At worst, her treatments are poisonous and lead to worsened or even better, NEW symptoms. But she claims she's the only REAL Doctor in the whole Hospital. Nobody else treats the cause, only the SYMPTOMS of the disease. She treats the cause, not the symptom! Her low mortality rate can only be attributed to the absolute ineffectiveness at any real medicine, so she can't unintentionally administer too much homeopathic remedies and cause them to overdose, but her ward is full of patients who have been waiting so many layers to recover that it’s starting to cause a huge ruckus. But she’s certain that SOME kind of treatment will work, but as long as it’s mainstream medicine, they’ll never get better!. ‘Doctor’ Fern’s treatments are chaotic, ever changing, never standardized wrecks, basic misunderstandings of the fundamental nature of medicine and disease itself; somehow even in The Hospital, the conceptual nature of homeopathy and other ‘holistic’ medicine carries over... in other words, even though The Hospital has nonsensical, ever changing functions and cures, the fact that most of ‘Doctor’ Fern’s treatments are bullshit gets carried through, as bullshit is intrinsically woven into the very nature of her medicinal practices. Even the things she performs that qualify as medicine in some cases are usually misapplied, snapping necks when all the patient needed was a quick realignment of their core concepts with their spinal arrangement, acupuncture used for things other than relief of mild pain, trepanation for non-approved purposes, she’s a wonder at failure to medicine.

A no-nonsense nonsense provider, ‘Doctor’ Fern’s personality is similar to her canon counterpart, but warped by The Hospital, obviously assimilated into The Hospital’s jargon completely, ‘Doctor’ Fern is completely understanding of most lingo that all the Hospital Staff know... and deliberately chooses to misapply them. She’s caring, but has even less of an idea of what she’s doing than Phage does, even if The Hospital was at full running capacity, she would be utterly incompetent. As it is, she’s currently CRIMINALLY incompetent. Despite her inability to cure her patients, most of them (generally the ones with less of an idea of medicine) consider her their favorite doctor, which is likely why she’s still alive. Those who go through spontaneous remission end up thanking the good ‘Doctor’ for their recovery, and admittedly, even with her terrible abilities, she genuinely cares for each and every patient she can.

Her design is complex and very symbolic, which I’m actually quite proud of, even if it is a bit ‘busy’, I worked hard on it! Since each Doctor (Besides our fair Doctor Ichabod Malachi Man) seems based on the very basic or very first treatments of their respective specialties, I looked up the very first herbal medicines, which was apparently using the plant Gingko Bilobo. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong, but I used the leaves of the tree for ‘Doctor’ Fern’s hair. (also, you always must write Doctor as ‘Doctor’ when referring to her, as her doctorates are all fake or non accredited) She has a Gingko Berry for an earring as well, one that’s a bit old and bruised. She has normal doctors scrubs, but her shirt is emblazoned with an alternative medicinal parody of the Caduceus. I gave her ears for the explicit purpose of demonstrating yet another ‘medical’ treatment; ear stapling. Apparently, according to some, surgical staples in ones ears will help one lose weight. Her teeth are borrowed from Page 711, when she imagined strangling Dr. Phage. This is strictly because it made her creepier to the eye, as it felt... right, to give her a more unsettling visage than our friendly neighborhood Fern. Her gloves are not, in fact, medical gloves or in any way sanitation related or even sanitary, but Reflexology reference mitts. the belief that pressure points on the hands line up to everywhere else on the body (and of course, everyone has a different idea of what connects to where, so ‘Doctor’ Fern changes her mind on what it does every five minutes.) Even though acupuncture can be an effective treatment for some causes, I stuck two needles in her head both for flair and due to the misapplication of acupuncture as a cure rather than relief for pain. She also has a trepanation hole in her head that constantly oozes out something conceptually similar to blood, but likely not actually blood. I don’t know what it is or if I want to KNOW what it is. Her necklace is a piece of ionized jewelry, which does.. some bullshit or something about Qi, Look, I don’t make up this stuff, someone else does. Her feet are covered in Kinoki Foot Pads instead of any proper footwear. Kinoki Foot Pads are pads that turn a dirty black overnight when you wear them, supposedly because they drain out ‘toxins’ from your feet, but really because they’re made with green tea and such that react with sweat and air, but whatever, ‘toxins’.

Anyway, that’s what I think Fern might look like as a ‘Doctor’. Or, at least, passing for a Doctor.

*(N.D is short for a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine, D.C is short for Doctor of Chiropractic, Ac. D is short for Acupuncture Doctor, and O.D is short for Doctor of Osteopathy)

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authoramandaleigh · 5 years

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Talking About My Journey with Anxiety and OCD

I'm not good at sharing. I'm starting with that sentence so if this doesn't seem like I'm sharing much you know why. It doesn't come naturally to me. I tend to keep things close to the vest. Here's an example. When I'm in the hospital the only reason my friends and extended family find out is if my mom tells them. I might not even mention it after it happens. So they may never know if it weren't for someone else telling them. That's just the way I am. So to share is not a natural thing for me. Maybe this has to do with my social anxiety, I don't know. Anyway, I know that we as a society have such a hurtful stigma against mental illness. Just the term often brings about feelings of shame. I want to change that. I can't do it single handedly but I can be a part of it, I can help. And I think that helping starts with sharing my story. Even if it's just some of it. You have to start somewhere, right?

I know it looks like I'm choking my cat here, I'm not. hahaha. Just hugging him and having him protest. He actually lets me hug and cuddle and kiss him quite a bit and does the same to me quite often. What does this have to do with anything? Well, Sawyer (my cat) is something that helps me immensely. Just petting him and cuddling with him calms me down. Oh, how I love this little guy. <3

So, my mom says she noticed signs of my anxiety and OCD (which is technically an anxiety disorder) from the time I was quite young. I don't really remember doing anything compulsive when I was younger, but that may just be because it was normal to me.

Wait. Before we go on, let me put the definition of OCD right here:

"Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), and behaviors that drive them to do something over and over (compulsions).

Often the person carries out the behaviors to get rid of the obsessive thoughts. But this only provides short-term relief. Not doing the obsessive rituals can cause great anxiety and distress."

This definition is taken from MedlinePlus. I include it because too many people believe that OCD only encompasses wanting things neat, orderly, tidy, et cetera. Like when you see someone line up their pencils in a perfect row. I'm not saying that isn't part of it I just want it to be clear that it is much different than what society tends to portray it as. A well known example would be someone who has to repeatedly wash their hands. For no apparent reason, they just keep washing. There are infinite numbers of compulsions, though. Counting is a popular one. And it's one that I share to a degree. Which I find sort of ironic because I hate math. (Just trying to diffuse a little humor...) My number of choice is 4. I count things in rounds of 4. Once I get to 4, I start again. I sometimes count my steps.

I prefer even numbers to odd. I find it hard to do anything in odd numbers. To give an example. the volume on the television. It has to be on an even number. If it starts on 26 I can't go up to 27, I have to turn it up to 28. Now, to throw a wrench in what I just said, there are exceptions to this even number rule of mine. One is if someone else puts the volume on an odd number. Then I don't have to change it because it wasn't me who did it. Something else, though. Well, it's hard to explain. There are certain odd numbers I'm okay with, but there are very specific reasons for it. The number 7, for example. I'm okay with that number. Why? Well, in history 7 is meant to be a powerful magical number. There are also 7 Harry Potter books. So, I'm okay with that one. There are others, too.

I'm not being neat and orderly isn't part of it for me. I do often have to straighten things out that are uneven. Like pencils. I fix the books on the shelves in Barnes and Noble. And I can't even tell you how many times I've said my room is messy and anyone there strongly disagrees and says it looks neater than their room ever has.

Trying to explain your compulsions to people, oh boy, is that a nightmare. Many people (including me) often try to hide these things, but sometimes it's just not possible because you HAVE to do it. You HAVE to. Why? Because if you don't, whatever the obsessive thought is will then happen. Does that make sense? No. And I'm well aware of that. But it's almost like two separate parts of my brain. Two separate voices. Two little beings on my shoulder. One telling me I don't have to and one telling me I need to, or else that thing will happen. The second voice tends to win out. What causes OCD? There's the kicker. We don't know yet. Here's another snippet from MedlinePlus.

"Health care providers do not know the exact cause of OCD. Factors that may play a role include head injury, infections, and abnormal function in certain areas of the brain. Genes (family history) seems to play a strong role."

It's often infuriating. I think some people may be able to do the compulsion a certain number of times and then go on. With me, yes, a number comes into play but I have to do it right. If I don't, I need to repeat the compulsion over and over until I do get it right. What's worse? Usually, I'm not even sure what right means. Something in my brain just clicks to tell me that I got it right and then I can move on with my day. I have spent fairly significant amounts of time trying to get it right. As I said, infuriating. And to try to explain it...might be more infuriating because it's so hard to explain. But the jury is out on that.

That brings us to anxiety. General and Social Anxiety. The first panic attack I remember having I was seventeen. We were going to Florida. I was on an airplane. I'm terrified of flying. I started having a panic attack because it wasn't as if I could get off that plane, and I was stuck doing something that terrified me to the bone. Even just writing that brings up some of that panic in me.

Things went pretty well for a while. What's interesting is, looking back, it's quite possible I had smaller anxiety attacks in the years between this one and my next big one.

This panic attack took place in college. I was twenty-one, sitting in the library with a few friends. I'm not sure to this day what brought it on. I know that my friend brought me home. I thought maybe it was because of the people around but I'd been in the library countless times.

I also remember sitting in my Poetry class after having been in the hospital and starting to feel a panic attack come on. Shortness of breath, light headed, this feeling in my chest...it's so hard to describe, so hard to do justice to it. I got up and nearly ran outside to get fresh air. Mind you, it was February. I had on a sweatshirt but I had a coat, too because it was freezing. I didn't bring my coat with me, I needed that cold air hitting my skin.

In one of my Literature classes, I felt the symptoms come on once more. I got out of class as quickly as I could and locked myself in a bathroom stall to ride it out. I think I threw up that time, as well.

Another time, I didn't catch the symptoms in enough time to get away and ride it out. I'd just come back from the ladies room, I thought everything was fine. I sat down in my Spanish class and it came on quite suddenly this time. My Spanish professor noticed and came over to my desk. She picked up my things and told me to come with her to her office. I sat there with her and she actually told me to call someone to take me home, that was how bad it was.

Social Anxiety. This is something I remember having for well, as long as I can remember. I didn't call it social anxiety I just remember always being nervous around people. I most definitely still am and would usually prefer to be alone. Or just with a small group. Again, just thinking about this makes me a little nervous. Honestly, there are very few people I've never been nervous around. Even the people I love.

I think my General Anxiety and OCD have gotten a bit better. What's difficult is trying to pin point why, what did it. I think routine is a part of it, at least for my anxiety. A lot of the time, my anxiety would stem from being literally paralyzed by not knowing what to do first. To the point that I just did none of it. This did not work so well for me. With a routine, I know what to do when. Maybe it sounds restrictive but it's really not. It's not a down to the minute plan every minute detail routine. It gives me enough structure to know when I'm doing my morning ritual, when I'm setting up medicine for the night, when I'm working on content or when I'm writing or editing, when I'm off of work for the day. And it's not rigid, I honestly believe it's more about the order of the things.

My mindset is another thing. And I'm sure some of you are rolling your eyes. I get it. I don't think mindset can cure anxiety disorders like some people do but I DO believe that it can help. Having a morning ritual with some meditation (by the way, it's only 2-5 minutes), reading and journaling has honestly done wonders. I also do yoga nearly every day now. I try to workout every day, too (and have been pretty consistent) but yoga is something I've grown to love. It's sort of another form of meditation. And carving out more time for writing my books is helping a lot. That's something I've quite recently started. I decided I was too focused on the media and not the writing. So I decided to change that and it's helped a lot. I mean, the writing is what I love to do. It's what I'm here to do.

Gratitude. Thinking about all the wonderful things and people I already have in my life. All the experiences. The books I've written, people I've met. The fact that I'm still here even though my doctors gave me until age sixteen when I was diagnosed with Nephropathic Cystinosis. I feel immensely grateful and I realize how amazing life is.

Trying to go easy on myself when I have a bad day. Sometimes it's going to happen. It'll be a struggle to get one thing done. Or even to get dressed. I'm making a more conscious effort not to beat myself up about it.

Music helps quite a lot. It's hard to be anxious belting out a song. Or if I am anxious (or irritable, etc.) by the middle of the song I'm usually fine. Reading, books, stories. Any type of storytelling helps. It always has. I'm quite attached to many fictional characters, as you know, but did you know those characters ease my anxiety and even my OCD at times?

I think over the past five years my anxiety and OCD has gradually gotten better. And in the last year I've seen myself make huge progress. It will never go away, and that is okay. It's a day to day thing. And I'm proud of how far I've come.

If you want to talk you can send me a message on Facebook, Instagram or through email. But remember, I am not a mental health professional. If you need to reach out to someone (and it is totally OKAY if you do) please look for someone in your area. Or, if you'd rather check into online counseling, BetterHealth is one site you could check out.

Here's a link to a free anthology where people write letters to their mental illnesses. It's a powerful book and it shows that you are not alone. Far from it.

#blogger #authorblog #anxiety #ocd #mental health #mental disorder #mentalillness

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bpd-insane · 7 years

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For a friend...

It’s BPD time! Now this message to you is not only going to include the thing I need to tell you, but a few different things I need to explain in great detail. I promise, by the end of this (if it doesn’t end with you saying that “The line has been crossed”) you will be saying to yourself; “THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE”. You’ll actually probably say that a lot through out this post. I need you to know that BPD is different for everyone; While the symptoms are mostly the same; they are defined differently for me. So this is all about MY BPD.

So first I wanna list the BPD symptoms again. The most common ones are a fear of abandonment which is triggered by being ignored, feeling rejected, being made to feel second best etc. There’s also splitting (I’ll get to that), acting impulsive, getting manic/furious/very easily, unstable relationships based on a need for attention and validation, unstable self image and obviously mood swings.

Im going to jump into my first topic; Splitting. Splitting for me can be;

Splitting can be a few different things but for me it’s mostly when someone does something that may seem small or unimportant to others, but for me triggers very intense emotions, be it anger, love, irritation, jealousy etc. Feeling that intense emotion if it’s negative makes me want to push the person away and I get very angry. If it’s a positive emotion, I feel full of love and happiness for them. Splitting can also sometimes make me feel indifferent, as though I just don’t care and they could disappear and it wouldn’t bother me. Now I want to add that I’ve NEVER felt like that about you. I’ve been intensely angry at you, so much that I wanted to disappear. But if you had, I wouldn’t know what to do.

So enough about splitting; I’ve only just found out about the correct term for it; So I’ve been burying myself into internet research about splitting. I’m gonna move on to my impulsive behavior and reactions.

Ooooh this is a SUPER fun one. (It’s realllllly not, it’s quite awful.) Lets just say, when certain things happen to me that trigger something within me; I react different than other people such as yourself. We are gonna to go on some examples. Example one of my horrid impulsive behavior; SPENDING UNNEEDED MONIES. I do this one a lot. Mostly when I’m depressed. (I know I know, when am I not? Lmao) When I’m at the store, we could have little to no money or a ton, I will buy things I just DO NOT need. Things that will completely kill me in finances. While I’ve cut this down a lot, I still do it sometimes. It can get bad. I can even get as bad as that I will spend money on people I care about. A lot of it. XAAAMPLE TWO: When there is a comment made such as… Let’s use the first time you took witness to my BPD. Yaaaay! Lmao not. When we were doing WOTM, someone made the comment; “If you aren’t ready at all times to raid, then don’t raid.” I remember whipping my head up from giving Alex his sippy cup and completely going off on this guy. For me when I do this in front of people, I instantly feel embarrassed, and I 9 times out of 10; Leave that activity or end the conversation.

Okay; As impulsive behavior goes, that’s PRETTTY much it. Now I’m going to move onto the more difficult symptom of my illness. This is the one I’ve been debating with myself on telling you because as I said before, it could very well cross a line. If this does, I need you to tell me. If you don’t, If you repress those feeling for way to long and you let this continue, it will be worse for me. You need to tell me what your 100% honest feelings are about all of this, honestly. The whole post you’ve read and are going to read.

Okay this one is called “Favorite person”. Now this does not mean the same thing to me that it means when you read that. A favorite person is something I’m embarrassed about telling you. But absolutely 100% cannot control.

A favorite person is someone that we tend to want the most attention and validation from. We want to be in contact with them constantly, and we want them to care about us like we do them. However, as people who are borderline like myself, feel a lot more intensely than others, this is not always the case. Feeling undervalued because of this can cause dissociation and us to split on them. We also often mirror our FP due to the fact that we idealise them, and see everything that they do as wonderful. This means we imitate many of their behaviours, actions, and even the way that they speak in an attempt to be “good like them”. This can actually be very frustrating for our FP, especially if they also suffer from any mental illness. If you haven't figured it out thus far; You are my FP... Basically; Let's be straight. If you noticed that when you have "off days", I am noticeably more attentive towards you in my quest to help you in anyways possible. I am not going to stray from any form of the truth here, when you are gone. It does fucking suck. But don't think for one second that I can't handle it when you are. Don't you think either that I constantly NEED to talk to you in an obsessive manor, it's not like that. Not at all. But your company is that I want all the time. Your attention does in fact mean the world to me. I know you didn't ask for this if at this point that's what your thinking. Quite frankly I don't know what you're thinking. You could be understandable and logical and you could be thinking that I'm psychotic. Whether you're thinking "I didn't ask for this, I didn't sign up for this". I need you to remember that I DIDNT either. I didn't pick you, Steven. My disorder and my brain did. You wanna know why? Because you are that person. You are AMAZING. You're so funny, we have SO much in common. Hell, I've been working on this post for hours. Do you know what I am right now? Scared out of my god damn mind. There is so much I hide from you, you don't have any idea. It's horrible what goes through my head. When it does, I constantly tell myself "I wanna go talk to him, I wanna tell him." But you wanna know what else this SICKNING disorder tells me? "He doesn't give a shit, act okay, play the part. He will believe it and all will be fine." That. THAT is the hardest part about this. Telling you? That basically I've lied to you quite a few times when you have asked me if I'm okay. I'm afraid you will think "Damn this girl has way to many problems, is she ever gonna be okay? Is she never gonna not have a problem?" I'll answer that. There are days I actually am okay, but there will never be a day that something is not bothering. But I'll tell you right now, you're not always going to know. That's part of being my FP. My happiness doesn't matter to me like it should, yours does. If you're happy, fine. I'll repress and be fine. I didn't plan on this tangent, but I started writing and here we are. You mean a great deal, you would have regardless of this BPD crap I have. YOU are a great person. I've thought that from day one. You can make me smile like no one else. Don't let that scare ya. If you need time to accept this, take it. I probably won't understand, but that's the disorder. If you don't ever wanna talk to me again, if this crossed a line, if you don't want to be super close anymore, I'll understand one day, but you need to do you. There is shit I never say to you, shit like I do miss you a ton when you go, that I do love you to fucking death Steven. But you still need to do you. This is much of what I needed to say. The last thing I'm going to tell you is that I also lied to you today. My BPD wasn't the only reason I was off. I went to take a nap. I had a god damn "nightmare" whatever. You had a damn heart attack in my face. Idk why that's what went through my dream, but it did. I woke up in panic. Anyways, that's never happened before so you know. Writing this on Tumblr to you was the easiest way I could do this. I did this not only for you, but myself. The choice is yours. I love you. -Jolynn/Sebastian.

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goosegoblin · 7 years

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Hi Jess! could you give some advice about birthcontrol? from what i get different kinds fit different women but how fast can you tell? how should you ask your doctor for a change if needed? anything else a first time user should know? hope all is well, xoxo

Hello love!

First of all, it depends what country you’re in. If you’re in the USA, head over to Planned Parenthood- the ladies there are wonderful and can talk you through your options for free, I believe. If you’re in the UK, you can talk to your GP or visit a GUM clinic- you can google to find them in your area, and they’re NHS run and free. If you’re in another country, I’m less sure who you should speak to, but I’m guessing your standard doctor would be a good start!

It’s important to note that birth control won’t protect you from STIs. You need a barrier method (condom, female condom, dental dam) for that.

So, birth control. You’re right in that it varies a lot between women, and there’s no real way to know what will work best for you- it can be something of a trial-and-error situation. I got lucky in that the first BC pill I went on works very well for me (though the first week was hellish, not gonna lie. That was my own fault for taking the morning after pill on Saturday and starting birth control on Monday...)

There are a few different options here. There’s pills, implants and IUDs. I’d say most people start with a combined birth control pill.

Note: no method of contraceptive is 100% effective. If you’re having sex, make sure you have a plan about what you’d do if you got pregnant. Please note also that the morning after pill loses effectiveness the longer you wait to take it, and is less effective for overweight or obese women.

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Pills:

These can be combined (meaning they contain oestrogen and progesterone) or progesterone-only (also called the mini pill). Synthetic oestrogen stops ovulation from occurring and stops the uterine lining from breaking down to prevent bleeding; synthetic progesterone stops ovulation, makes it harder for sperm to travel and makes it harder for an egg to be fertilised or implant.

The combined pill is more effective, but not everyone can take it. Synthetic oestrogen can increase your blood pressure, so if you already have hypertension it might not be a good idea. It’s also not recommended for women who get migraines, are over thirty five, smoke, are significantly overweight, have a history heart or liver disease, or who are more likely to get blood clots. The mini-pill is better if that’s your situation, but you need to be more careful about taking it at the same time every day. The levels of hormones in the mini pill are lower, so you don’t have as much leeway.

Possible side-effects include mood swings, spotting (bleeding when you’re not meant to) and headaches. Like with many meds, these often improve as time goes on- I don’t have any side-effects from my pill, except for the rather odd and incredible side-effect of basically curing my IBS. Hormonal contraceptives like the pill can also affect your sex drive- it can be embarrassing to talk to your doctor about this, but it’s important that you do if you’re allosexual/ want to have sex. They can work with you to find an option that won’t kill your libido.

I take my pill every morning and tend to have a period every 6-8 weeks. Some packs just tell you to stop taking the pills for a week; other brands come with a week of sugar pills. These are just placebo pills. Some people prefer this because it means they remain in the habit of taking a pill every day. My periods are much lighter & nicer since starting contraceptives, and that’s the case for many women. You can basically pick and choose when to have periods when on the pill, which is lovely, but if you miss too many periods in a row (it’s about two for me) you’ll start getting breakthrough bleeding/ spotting, where your uterus is like ‘fuck you, we’re bleeding anyway’.

There is some evidence linking the pill to an increased risk of certain types of cancer and blood clots, but the increase is very small and the chance is still very low. Your doctor will go over your family history with you, so make sure you’re honest about cancer/clots etc in your family.

There are a few different brands of each type, so if one combined pill doesn’t work for you that doesn’t mean you have to swear off them forever.

Final notes- some antibiotics decrease their efficiency, but this is rare (and your doctor will tell you if that’s the case). If you throw up or have bad diarrhoea within a few hours of taking the pill, you may not be protected against pregnancy. Take another one, but if you’re sick/have diarrhoea again, you need to also use barrier methods until you’re better (and then maybe a couple days after). You also need to use barrier methods for a week if you miss two or more combined pills in a row, or one mini-pill.

Pros: easy, simple, can make periods lighter

Cons: bad side-effects for some women, gotta remember to take pills every day, not suitable for everyone

There’s also a contraceptive patch which releases the same hormones in the same way. You change it weekly and it’s still effective even if you’re sick. However, there’s evidence that it may not work for women over 90kg, or those who smoke. There’s also always the risk of it falling off, which may or may not outweigh the annoyance of taking a daily pill.

A similar alternative is the contraceptive ring, which releases oestrogen and progesterone and is inserted into your vagina. You put it in, wait twenty one days, remove it, wait a week and put a new one in, similar to with pills. Again, it protects even if you’re sick, but there is a risk it might come out on its own and need washing & reinserting.

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Implant

The implant is a thin tube put in your arm that releases progesterone slowly. It can stay there for years and is pretty good at preventing pregnancy. It can cause your periods to stop altogether, but it can also cause them to become erratic or unpredictable (especially in the first year). They can also cause similar side-effects to the mini pill- mood swings, acne, nausea. There’s also a small risk your implant site could become infected. Again, it might not be suitable for women at high risk of migraines, clotting or cancer. However, you can breastfeed with the implant in, it won’t effect fertility in the long-term, and you can have it removed at any time.

There’s also an injection which works very similarly and lasts for 8-12 weeks.

Pros: long-term, don’t have to remember pills, can stop periods altogether

Cons: risk of periods becoming worse/ more erratic, small risk of infection, not suitable for everyone

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IUD/ IUS

IUD stands for ‘intrauterine device’, also known as the coil. It’s non-hormonal, so there’s no progesterone or oestrogen going on. It releases copper instead, which changes the environment in the fallopian tubes and means sperm + eggs cannot survive. IUDs can last for 5-10 years and can actually be put in as a form of emergency contraception, meaning you don’t have to take the morning after pill.

Having the IUD put in can be painful, and there’s a very small risk it may become infected. Your periods might be erratic for a few months, but should calm down. If you get pregnant with an IUD in you need to see a doctor quickly, as the risk of ectopic pregnancy (implantation in the fallopian tubes) is higher. However, this is still very rare, because pregnancy in general with an IUD is very rare. Most women can use IUDs, and medication won’t affect them.

The main reason most women stop using IUDs is vaginal bleeding and pain. There’s no risk of the standard hormonal side-effects like mood swings/ nausea etc, however.

Pros: non-hormonal, can be used by most people, very long-term

Cons: might hurt when it’s put in, small risk of infection or IUD coming out/ moving out of place, increased risk of vaginal bleeding

The IUS is similar, but hormonal (progesterone is released). It’s very effective and can stop periods/ make heavy periods much lighter. The hormonal effects are similar to those for other hormonal methods listed above.

-----

My advice (I AM NOT A DOCTOR)

Obviously listen to your doctor and be honest with them. If you don’t have a family history of breast cancer, clotting, bad migraines etc, you’ll likely start on a combined pill. Give it at least two weeks before you make any decisions. The side effects will likely settle down. Try taking it with food if nausea is a problem. I

I don’t think long-term options are a good first choice- try some more temporary/ shorter lasting ones first so you have the chance to change back quickly if wanted. Don’t get me wrong, IUDs and implants are awesome, but maybe give pills a go first.

If you don’t like what’s happening and want to change, that’s all you gotta tell your doctor. “I am having these symptoms {XYZ} and would like to try a different method of birth control”. You deserve to find a method that works well for you.

Best of luck xxx

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oumakokichi · 7 years

Note

Imagine if one of the motives had been the Despair Disease and Oma had the "Truth-Teller" disease, meaning he was incapable of lying. (Did I already send something like this?)

This would have been somuch fun to play with as a concept, oh boy. Despite how messy sdr2 Chapter3 was, the Despair Disease was still a pretty fun idea in general, and seeingit brought back in some capacity would’ve been interesting, in the same waythat bringing the motive videos from dr1 back was interesting.

I can’t even tell who would hate this turn of events more,Ouma himself or everyone else around him.

On the one hand, being unable to lie would mean having toreadjust his plans drastically. It would also mean a huge lack of self-control—somethinghe’d probably hate with a passion considering he’s all about trying to remain in control of himself, even on the vergeof death in Chapter 5. Being unable to stop himself from telling the truthwould mean potentially spilling very important things about both his plans andhimself, and Ouma hates being read easily by others.

The idea of people actually getting to see the “real him,”especially people he hasn’t decided are trustworthy yet, really puts him off.It’s the reason he wants to run right out the door even in his love hotel scenewith Saihara, and it’s why he takes such pains to not talk about himself or hisbackstory ever.

On the other hand though, being unable to lie means beingunable to sugarcoat things or tell “gentle lies” in the way that he’s usuallyaccustomed to. Truth in ndrv3 can often be used to do considerably more damagethan lies, and Ouma knows this. And this means that he might actually dopotentially more damage or make the group hate him even more than they would if he was just going around telling his usuallies.

Part of his perceptiveness involves knowing instantly a lotof the things other characters are trying to hide—while in canon he usuallyexposes their secrets only when the situation calls for it (such as trying toexpose Maki’s SHSL Assassin talent because it was such a threat, trying to makethe group aware that Momota was sick and didn’t have much time left, etc.), itwould be a huge problem within the group if he were unable to stop telling their secrets.

I’m not even sure they’d actually believe that he had thedisease. Even if he was clearly showing symptoms and clearly actingdifferently, so much of his behavior was so obviously a calculated actbeforehand that I don’t doubt some of them (probably Maki, with Tsumugiencouraging this line of thought) would believe he was just trying to make themthink he was sick. Their wariness of himwould mean that even if he was literally telling nothing but the truth, they’dstill be inclined to doubt and suspect him. And this would just back up a lotof the things Ouma actually says in-game about people believing only what theywant to believe, even if all the facts say otherwise.

There are so many interesting potential points for conflictand development if something like this happened. I’d be really interested inseeing some kind of fanfic about it! Even if Ouma were unable to lie, I wonderif he’d find a workaround through “selective” truth telling, trying to only saya certain amount of information so that it still came across ambiguously orlike a riddle. If there’s anyone who’d be stubborn enough to pull it off, heprobably could.

It’s even possible that a development like this would causehim to reevaluate his plans if he were cured afterwards. After all, if while hewas sick he sort of inadvertently had come clean about wanting to stop thekilling game and expose the ringleader, he’d know he’d likely be targeted afterthis. And it’d be much safer to work with the group as a whole rather thantrying to do everything on his own, even if he still couldn’t trust the peoplearound him.

It’s all just really fun to think about. I kind of hope afic gets written for it, because it’s great as far as AU ideas go! Not onlythat but the idea of Ouma with no filter is kind of actually hilarious. Eventhough the other characters don’t realize it, every word out of Ouma’s mouth incanon is so calculated and premeditated most of the time, he’s actuallythinking very carefully before he says anything. So seeing him literally incapableof putting that filter on would be…something.

Thank you for sending this, it was really fun to considerand write about!

#ndrv3 #drv3 #new danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #ouma kokichi #ndrv3 spoilers //#my meta #okay to reblog #queenofdragons6

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lifepros · 7 years

Text

#307

Stress management (lessons learned from a usaf fighter pilot)

Stress Management:

Stress is not a feeling, an emotion, a mood. Stop treating it like one. It's a physical thing that happens to your body. It's your body saying "something is wrong, fix it." Symptoms of stress/anxiety include things that can be measured by doctors, such as weight gain, lack of sleep, blood pressure issues, acne, hair loss, etc. Many people try to treat stress as a feeling, and do things to make them feel better, like yoga, workout, have sex, go to the gun range, or buy little stress balls that they squeeze when they feel stressed. This is the incorrect way to deal with stress.

Think of stress as financial stress. What is financial stress? You have too much to pay for and not enough money. If you were financially stressed and I told you I could make you feel better about it by selling you a squeeze ball for 20 bucks, would you fall for that garbage? I hope not.

This is how stress stacks up on your life: Imagine a graph. There is an invisible line somewhere on it going straight, horizontally, all the way across. That is your personal "stress threshold". Literally everything that you have to do in your life is a stressor. Imagine them as blocks stacking up on top of each other. Some are bigger than others. The closer you get to your threshold, the more stressed you feel. If you do not prevent them from crossing that threshold, you will enter depression, which is your body saying "screw it, you won't fix it, I'll just shut everything down until it works itself out.", much like how if you're freezing to death in the woods your body starts shutting down to save the vital organs, but you will still eventually freeze to death anyways. Think of stress as you shivering when it's cold, and depression as your body shutting down to preserve vital organs.

So, this is THE way to manage stress: You manage it. The pilot giving the training said to make a list, either mentally or literally, of EVERYTHING that stresses you out. Next, look at the list and see what you can actually take care of right then and there, and start knocking things off the list. You will literally be removing stress from your life. You ever wonder why people say they feel like their "load is lighter" or "weight has been lifted off their shoulders" after they complete a task? Because it has. Ever wonder why people say they feel good after mowing the lawn, or going to the gym, or whatever? It's because they've actually removed a stress block from their life. They've done something. Often times, people try to manage stress by drinking tea, or doing yoga, or doing things that simulate to their mind that they're accomplishing something, when really they're just tricking their brain into releasing the chemical that it does when you actually get something done. The REAL way is to actually identify the things that stress you out, and REMOVE them from your pile of stressors.

When you make your list, literally write out everything. Pretty much if you think about something and say "Oh crap, I have to do that.", it's a stressor. Everything from brushing your teeth in the morning, to changing that light bulb in the laundry room, to gassing up your car, to studying for that test, to out-processing for that deployment, to going to that job interview, etc etc. Write them down, look at it, and think "Oh shoot, I could just change that lightbulb right now. I could mow the lawn. I could fix that door hinge." Do this and you will be on your way to becoming more productive and less stressed. I've been doing this for years now and it works GREAT. It's how these fighter pilots manage their personal lives and flying a stupid fast war machine in combat. There have been a few times where I did still get too stressed out, but it was because I literally just had too much on my plate that was beyond my control, but since I understood how stress works, I was able to still get ahold of it and break myself out of the slight depression I had slipped into.

FURTHER NOTES:

Types of stress:

-Residual Stress (AKA Emotional Baggage): This type of stress cannot be eliminated, or is VERY difficult to remove. It is things that have happened to you in the past that you drag with you forever. They feel like things you need to "fix", but since they're locked in the past, you can't do anything about them, so they cause your stress pile to start out a little higher no matter what you do. You fell on your face that one time at school, or your parents never loved you, or you got stage fright that one time, etc etc. Some people have more than others, and it just always eats at the back of your mind. I have found an awesome way to get over this, but it is using my interpretation of the "heathen worldview", which is another tip for another time.

-Reoccurring Stress: These are things that pop up on a reoccurring basis, such as daily chores, bills, house or work maintenance, etc. They are usually small stressors for people, but since they pop up often, they're always needing to be removed anyways. People often shrug these off, but they can sneak up on you. If you don't take care of the small things, the big things will stack higher, faster. Ever heard the phrase "the straw that broke the camel's back"? That straw was probably a Reoccurring Stressor.

-Time Sensitive Stress: These are stressors that are hanging over your head but cannot be taken care of yet. Your college finals. Job interviews. Upcoming vacation. Etc. They are among the hardest for me to deal with, because they are there, but you can't do them yet. The way to reduce their impact is to ensure you are knocking out the easier stress blocks in the meantime. Change that lightbulb, get your car serviced, mail that package, etc. Another way is to recognize the precursors to that Time Sensitive Stressor, like studying for the college finals, or preparing for the job interview. You will still be knocking things out, being productive, removing stress, and will be better prepared for the TSS when it does arrive.

A note on Depression:

This part of the training has to basically alienate a specific group of people. If you are clinically depressed, then this method may not help you manage your depression because your brain works differently. Depression is where you haven't removed enough stress blocks and so your body says "screw it". The danger here is that it will remove your energy, motiviation, etc. By understanding this, you will be able to get back in the saddle, remove some stressors, and get your life back under control. The pilot/instructor went deeply into the phases of depression, and what is known as a "psychotic break". Depending on where you are in your depression when you hit your psychotic break, you will lash out in a certain way. Example: if you're in "inner", you will hurt/kill yourself. If you're in "outer", you will hurt/kill someone else. But what makes it a "psychotic break" is that is will be completely bizarre. The example he used was Brittney Spears shaving her head vs. the NASA officer who went to Florida to kidnap her boyfriend's lover. Brittney Spears had much less stress on her life, yet she flew through all the stages of depression and basically hit her psychotic break at a point that caused her to just completely snap and shave her head. The NASA officer underwent a TREMENDOUSLY stressful entire life before finally lashing out at a person who made little to no impact on her overall life. It basically demonstrated how much some people can mentally endure compared to others, and how failure to manage it can cause serious problems.

A story of my usage of this training:

I'll make it quick. I was a SSGt in USAF. I was in college full time also. I had orders to the desert. I was a crew lead at my base for my specific job. I had finals for college coming up. In that same week, I had WAPS testing, which is how USAF enlisted troops test for rank. It's a big deal. I ALSO had to out-process for my deployment that week (anyone in can attest to what a stupid pain in the ass that can be). I was super stressed and it got to be too much. But I understood how stress worked. I couldn't make my finals come sooner, nor my WAPS test. Out-processing could be done during work hours. But I still had to lead my crew, which entailed all kinds of bullcrap. So here's what I did. First thing first, I told another NCO on my crew "Listen man, you're an NCO, you know the ropes, you're the crew lead now." I literally just dumped part of my plate onto his, but he was trained/qualified/capable of doing it, and that's literally what he was there for was to lead the crew if I wasn't around. So I just made him the primary and I took the alternate slot. A huge stressor gone. Next, I ensured all my little stuff was taken care of, such as chores/ honey-do's around the house. After that, I made sure I had a dedicated time for WAPS and college studying, so that that stressor didn't bleed into my thoughts all the time. Finally, I made out-processing my primary concern during the work day, so no work-related stressors could pile up. All I had to do was make appointments and knock things off a checklist. This literally saved me from becoming overwhelmed and let me make it through the ordeal. When it was all said and done I did great on my college finals, I didn't make rank (that's OK though, the cutoff score was high for my career that year), and I got to the desert (and back) in one piece. Thanks random fighter pilot on instructor TDY!

Anyways, I hope this helps someone. It has gotten me through a lot, and I share it whenever I can. Take care everyone!

#tips and tricks #lifehack #life pros #life pro tips #life advice

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roinish · 7 years

Link

Long story short: I was forced to go through stress management training during my enlistment, given by an active duty fighter pilot. Turned out to be the best training I've ever been through. I don't have his slides, so my version will be the abbreviated one. Also, I have added some things like analogies and such that helped me understand things better. I'm going to fit the real meat and potatoes of the training into the first section, then afterwards I might into more detailed descriptions of this or that. It's gonna be long winded, but if anything just get the middle section read and you'll be good to go.Stress Management:Stress is not a feeling, an emotion, a mood. Stop treating it like one. It's a physical thing that happens to your body. It's your body saying "something is wrong, fix it." Symptoms of stress/anxiety include things that can be measured by doctors, such as weight gain, lack of sleep, blood pressure issues, acne, hair loss, etc. Many people try to treat stress as a feeling, and do things to make them feel better, like yoga, workout, have sex, go to the gun range, or buy little stress balls that they squeeze when they feel stressed. This is the incorrect way to deal with stress.Think of stress as financial stress. What is financial stress? You have too much to pay for and not enough money. If you were financially stressed and I told you I could make you feel better about it by selling you a squeeze ball for 20 bucks, would you fall for that garbage? I hope not.This is how stress stacks up on your life: Imagine a graph. There is an invisible line somewhere on it going straight, horizontally, all the way across. That is your personal "stress threshold". Literally everything that you have to do in your life is a stressor. Imagine them as blocks stacking up on top of each other. Some are bigger than others. The closer you get to your threshold, the more stressed you feel. If you do not prevent them from crossing that threshold, you will enter depression, which is your body saying "screw it, you won't fix it, I'll just shut everything down until it works itself out.", much like how if you're freezing to death in the woods your body starts shutting down to save the vital organs, but you will still eventually freeze to death anyways. Think of stress as you shivering when it's cold, and depression as your body shutting down to preserve vital organs.So, this is THE way to manage stress: You manage it. The pilot giving the training said to make a list, either mentally or literally, of EVERYTHING that stresses you out. Next, look at the list and see what you can actually take care of right then and there, and start knocking things off the list. You will literally be removing stress from your life. You ever wonder why people say they feel like their "load is lighter" or "weight has been lifted off their shoulders" after they complete a task? Because it has. Ever wonder why people say they feel good after mowing the lawn, or going to the gym, or whatever? It's because they've actually removed a stress block from their life. They've done something. Often times, people try to manage stress by drinking tea, or doing yoga, or doing things that simulate to their mind that they're accomplishing something, when really they're just tricking their brain into releasing the chemical that it does when you actually get something done. The REAL way is to actually identify the things that stress you out, and REMOVE them from your pile of stressors.When you make your list, literally write out everything. Pretty much if you think about something and say "Oh crap, I have to do that.", it's a stressor. Everything from brushing your teeth in the morning, to changing that light bulb in the laundry room, to gassing up your car, to studying for that test, to out-processing for that deployment, to going to that job interview, etc etc. Write them down, look at it, and think "Oh shoot, I could just change that lightbulb right now. I could mow the lawn. I could fix that door hinge." Do this and you will be on your way to becoming more productive and less stressed. I've been doing this for years now and it works GREAT. It's how these fighter pilots manage their personal lives and flying a stupid fast war machine in combat. There have been a few times where I did still get too stressed out, but it was because I literally just had too much on my plate that was beyond my control, but since I understood how stress works, I was able to still get ahold of it and break myself out of the slight depression I had slipped into.FURTHER NOTES:Types of stress:-Residual Stress (AKA Emotional Baggage): This type of stress cannot be eliminated, or is VERY difficult to remove. It is things that have happened to you in the past that you drag with you forever. They feel like things you need to "fix", but since they're locked in the past, you can't do anything about them, so they cause your stress pile to start out a little higher no matter what you do. You fell on your face that one time at school, or your parents never loved you, or you got stage fright that one time, etc etc. Some people have more than others, and it just always eats at the back of your mind. I have found an awesome way to get over this, but it is using my interpretation of the "heathen worldview", which is another tip for another time.-Reoccurring Stress: These are things that pop up on a reoccurring basis, such as daily chores, bills, house or work maintenance, etc. They are usually small stressors for people, but since they pop up often, they're always needing to be removed anyways. People often shrug these off, but they can sneak up on you. If you don't take care of the small things, the big things will stack higher, faster. Ever heard the phrase "the straw that broke the camel's back"? That straw was probably a Reoccurring Stressor.-Time Sensitive Stress: These are stressors that are hanging over your head but cannot be taken care of yet. Your college finals. Job interviews. Upcoming vacation. Etc. They are among the hardest for me to deal with, because they are there, but you can't do them yet. The way to reduce their impact is to ensure you are knocking out the easier stress blocks in the meantime. Change that lightbulb, get your car serviced, mail that package, etc. Another way is to recognize the precursors to that Time Sensitive Stressor, like studying for the college finals, or preparing for the job interview. You will still be knocking things out, being productive, removing stress, and will be better prepared for the TSS when it does arrive.A note on Depression:This part of the training has to basically alienate a specific group of people. If you are clinically depressed, then this method may not help you manage your depression because your brain works differently. Depression is where you haven't removed enough stress blocks and so your body says "screw it". The danger here is that it will remove your energy, motiviation, etc. By understanding this, you will be able to get back in the saddle, remove some stressors, and get your life back under control. The pilot/instructor went deeply into the phases of depression, and what is known as a "psychotic break". Depending on where you are in your depression when you hit your psychotic break, you will lash out in a certain way. Example: if you're in "inner", you will hurt/kill yourself. If you're in "outer", you will hurt/kill someone else. But what makes it a "psychotic break" is that is will be completely bizarre. The example he used was Brittney Spears shaving her head vs. the NASA officer who went to Florida to kidnap her boyfriend's lover. Brittney Spears had much less stress on her life, yet she flew through all the stages of depression and basically hit her psychotic break at a point that caused her to just completely snap and shave her head. The NASA officer underwent a TREMENDOUSLY stressful entire life before finally lashing out at a person who made little to no impact on her overall life. It basically demonstrated how much some people can mentally endure compared to others, and how failure to manage it can cause serious problems.A story of my usage of this training:I'll make it quick. I was a SSGt in USAF. I was in college full time also. I had orders to the desert. I was a crew lead at my base for my specific job. I had finals for college coming up. In that same week, I had WAPS testing, which is how USAF enlisted troops test for rank. It's a big deal. I ALSO had to out-process for my deployment that week (anyone in can attest to what a stupid pain in the ass that can be). I was super stressed and it got to be too much. But I understood how stress worked. I couldn't make my finals come sooner, nor my WAPS test. Out-processing could be done during work hours. But I still had to lead my crew, which entailed all kinds of bullcrap. So here's what I did. First thing first, I told another NCO on my crew "Listen man, you're an NCO, you know the ropes, you're the crew lead now." I literally just dumped part of my plate onto his, but he was trained/qualified/capable of doing it, and that's literally what he was there for was to lead the crew if I wasn't around. So I just made him the primary and I took the alternate slot. A huge stressor gone. Next, I ensured all my little stuff was taken care of, such as chores/ honey-do's around the house. After that, I made sure I had a dedicated time for WAPS and college studying, so that that stressor didn't bleed into my thoughts all the time. Finally, I made out-processing my primary concern during the work day, so no work-related stressors could pile up. All I had to do was make appointments and knock things off a checklist. This literally saved me from becoming overwhelmed and let me make it through the ordeal. When it was all said and done I did great on my college finals, I didn't make rank (that's OK though, the cutoff score was high for my career that year), and I got to the desert (and back) in one piece. Thanks random fighter pilot on instructor TDY!Anyways, I hope this helps someone. It has gotten me through a lot, and I share it whenever I can. Take care everyone! via /r/LifeProTips

#IFTTT #reddit

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scriptmedic · 7 years

Text

Massage Therapy: Medical Applications and Mythconceptions

Hi everybuddy! Aunt Scripty here. Today’s guest post is written by Nana, a Licensed Massage Therapist in the US.

This is part 1 of a 2-part post on the basics of what massage therapy is (and, more importantly, isn’t). I’m so excited to have Nana’s posts here on the blog!

Keep in mind that even though this is a guest post, and I have not 1000% verified everything in it, it is still subject to The Disclaimer Of Doom. (The Doomsclaimer?)

I hope you all enjoy!

Nana, take it away!

Hello! LMT Nana here! ( @theoremofwhat ) You’re probably wondering what the heck I’m doing here. Or what the heck an LMT even is. I’m here today to help Aunt Scripty in her quest to dispel some Mythconceptions surrounding the medical field in a two part post on my specialty: Massage Therapy.

For the uninitiated, your first thought is probably something along the lines of, “LOL, happy ending, yo!” I’m here to smack that right out of your head.

Let’s start off with what Massage Therapy actually is. Defined by the medical dictionary,

“Massage therapy is the scientific manipulation of the soft tissues of the body for the purpose of normalizing those tissues and consists of manual techniques that include applying fixed or movable pressure, holding, and/or causing movement of or to the body.”

Okay. What the heck does that mean? I’ll put it into context for you. A massage under this definition is when a trained person uses their hands, forearms, elbows, or other parts of the body to apply force to the patient’s body, or stretching/moving joints, for the purpose of loosening muscle and connective tissue, or to stimulate fluid flow (blood/lymph).

Sweet. That’s down. Let’s continue.

Massage is one of the oldest forms of medical care, …..

….with origins going back almost 5,000-4,000 years in Polynesian, Egyptian and Chinese cultures, these are passed down through written and oral traditions. Massage became popularized in western medicine by Hippocrates, who believed that massage was a highly effective and underutilized tool that requires a great deal of knowledge and training- views still held today by professionals.

The full history of massage is quite long and complicated- something I won’t go into here. It’s quite the drama, part of which contributes to some modern Mythconceptions that organizations like the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA) are trying to smash out by regulating the practice and increasing public awareness. Studies into the history of massage, and even observances in modern populations have shown that the urge to aid hurts by applying manipulation through the hands is likely an ingrained impulse in humans.

Knowing this, one would think that just anyone could get up off the street and give a massage. While many a family member or good friend has helped that “knot” (called a trigger point) in your shoulder, giving a full body massage with the intent of aiding healing requires a lot of hands on training and knowledge of the human body. You wouldn’t want a receptionist diagnosing your cancer- you don’t want a receptionist handing your massage either.

Let’s go over the qualifications for a massage therapist, known professionally as a Licensed Massage Therapist (LMT) standardly, and/or BCTMB if they are Board Certified.

Here in the United States (where I am) regulation is left up to the individual states. I am licensed through the state of Utah, so many of the laws and regulations I will be defining for you will be through that lens. If you would like a good launching board for other states, head here.

The AMTA suggests a minimum of 500 hours of training for licensing, but states such as New York require up to 1,000 hours. Here in the state of Utah 600 hours is the minimum requirement. This translates to about 7-12 months of schooling.

During the course of schooling a therapist will spend most of their time learning medical Anatomy, Physiology, Pathology, and Kinesiology. Basically? How the body is made, how it works, and how it moves. They are then trained in how this information applies to injury, illness and rehabilitation.

The rest is hands on training, identifying in person what abnormal tissue feels like, how to change it, when you should and can, when you should not massage, and areas of endangerment. And this is a VERY brief overview.

Aside from the all important training in medical A&P, we are given intensive training in the ethics side of massage. This is perhaps one of the most important separators between a LMT and a non licensed individual. LMTs are unique in the medical community because we have a specific training in how to touch.

Touch is one of the most sensitive things in the modern community- many suffer from Touch Deprivation because of stigma surrounding touch. Many perceive touch as a sexual thing. Others will react negatively to touch due to trauma in their life. Massage therapists must be prepared to present the massage in a way that cannot be perceived in a sexual, or threatening way, and may receive extra training to deal with victims of violence.

We receive training in how to conduct the massage- specifically in how to greet and interview the client, how to drape (the covering and un-covering an area to be worked.) and how to interact through out the session and how to end it.

To be licensed in the state of Utah, I had to undergo 600 hours of schooling by an accredited school. In my case it was a technical school focusing on medical careers: Nursing, Physical Therapy, Personal Trainers, and Dental Assisting. My actual course was almost 700 hours- ten months of school in total. After passing my schooling I took a national exam called the MBLEx, a test monitored by the FSMBT. (Which is terrifying, by the way. I legitimately cried when I passed. Most do not pass the first time around.) The Utah Division of Occupational and Professional Licensing required proof of my schooling and my testing scores, along with proof of residency and I was fingerprinted.

Once licensed and practicing you also need to understand that LMT’s have what’s called a scope of practice. This means we can only do certain things under our license, primarily, massage. We cannot diagnose, or prescribe anything. We are trained in Pathology so that we may identify potential symptoms, but we are under strict laws to only bring up our suspicions and direct you to your primary care physician or a specialist. We can suggest common, well accepted home lifestyle changes/ remedies with the caveat that the client must still check with a doctor before starting anything new. You should never take anything a therapist tells you as gospel truth because even if they have had excessive continuing education or 20 years of experience, we are not doctors.

Now that you know all this, let’s go over the common Mythconceptions we face in media. Because guess what? Massage is a largely misunderstood area and has been misrepresented so often I want to tear my hair out. These are things you should AVOID in your writing. Personally? I don’t care if you’re actually writing a story about a prostitute that wants to hide their illegal activities under the label of a masseuse. Figure something else out. I don’t really care if you’re going for a laugh, or a shocker. It’s an entire industry that you are undermining and actually inhibiting real world people from getting help.

Massage Therapy is purely for pleasure/pampering/rich people. Or, Massage Therapists are sex workers.

This is one that causes the most harm to my blood pressure. While massage is excellent for general mental health, it is also good for almost all areas of health, both as a preventative measure and an aid in recovery. I personally specialize in injury recovery- even more specially in rotator cuff injury. (The rotator is my favorite muscle group.) Others specialize in automotive accidents, surgery rehabilitation, trauma recovery, geriatric care, arthritis, sports, autistic children and adults, and hospital massage(for very ill people). The list is endless, actually. Specializing therapists can work independently or attached to doctors/ physical therapists/psychiatric professionals.

Changes in health care and pricing have made massage much more accessible. Many offices will accept insurance as a form of payment, and more and more insurance companies are paying for it. The industry standard in charging is $1 a minute- and considering the amount of training and the wear on the therapist’s body, this is more than fair. Other businesses will offer specials and memberships aimed at making regular massage more affordable to the average american. Depending on the office/private practice you visit, they will even help you with payment plans for your care. So even if your character is struggling financially, there are always options.

Massage being perceived as a sexual thing is a complicated subject, largely due to abuse of the term in history and cultural views(as mentioned above.) And it’s actually a dangerous one. Many, if not most, therapists are female.(This is beginning to change and it’s really exciting.) It’s not unheard of for a skeevy guy to go in for a ‘happy ending’, get refused by his law-abiding therapist, and attack her. I have not yet experienced this- but friends and coworkers have. Prostitutes masquerading as therapists also enforce this view that a massage is sexual.

In the 1800s, police began to crack down on certain businesses and drove prostitution from these places into massage parlors and bathhouses- leading to the degradation of the term “masseuse”.

So please. Do not use the term masseuse/masseur. As a professional I would say this would be the only time to use this portrayal of sex and massage- historically- and as long as you also make the commentary that there were legitimate practitioners at the time and this was an abuse of the term.

Please, please, please, do NOT use this in a modern setting unless you are prepared to make some very direct commentary on this abuse of the industry.

Aunt Scripty’s Note: Having gotten lectures from the FBI about this, it’s also important to know that a lot of the cheap / fake “massage parlors” you see (the really, REALLY easy to spot kind) are fronts for human trafficking. The “employees” may be victims of forced prostitution, held against their will or manipulated by others stealing their passports, and other atrocious human rights abuses. When you portray massage in your fiction as having “happy endings” or a front for prostitution, you are actually advertising for human rights abusers.

Now that we have that gross lump out of the way, moving on to number 2.

Depictions of a Massage in Advertising and Media.

You’ve all seen the classic image of a beautiful woman working on an equally beautiful human with the client laying face down, head resting on their arms, a gentle smile on their face with a blanket neatly arranged around their midsection, the beautiful therapist standing over them and tenderly dragging their fingertips across their skin, or placing hot stones right on the spine, and they are surrounded by nature and flowers or some shit.

WRONG WRONG WRONG.

I googled ‘massage’ and looked up images. I had to scroll for a good long while before I even found something that ALMOST represented what an actual table looks like, what proper body mechanics look like, what proper draping looks like. It’s vomit worthy. And holy-mother-of-profanities. You would NEVER rest hot stones directly on skin, much less the SPINE.

The last thing I want on my table is flowers and fluffy shit. It’s unhygienic, potentially allergy triggering, and just in my way. Licensed practitioners follow strict guidelines set up by the local Health Department, and follow Universal and Standard Precautions set by the CDC. This prevents transmission of disease.

My actual table is not so glamorous: made of standard wood or steel with a nice firm pad on top, ankle/knee bolster, and a face rest. (The face rest is either not too bad, or HELL, depending on the person. But it’s a necessary evil. That face rest is there for breath-ability when you are completely face down and I’m working on shoulders/neck.) We can dress them up in nice sheets and blankets, table warmers and the like. But they still need to be cleanable.

And you’re definitely not going to look glamorous getting a massage. At times a client is so relaxed they end up drooling and snoring. It’s fantastic. Moaning and groaning is totally normal in a non-weird way. Falling asleep and waking up disoriented is also very normal. Twitching is also normal- although it feels weird. This is a sign of the muscle releasing.

If your character suffers from any anxiety, they may struggle to fall asleep on the table, or relax completely- they may attempt to exert some manner of control over the massage- by holding arms and legs, fidgeting, or they may relieve tension through talking. All of this is also 100% fine, but the therapist will likely try to help them relax in order to allow the massage to be as effective as possible.

Next is the portrayal going the opposite way: guy goes in to get a massage and is practically torn apart and beaten by his therapist in order to get a “deep tissue” massage. This leads into the next Mythconception:

Massage HAS to hurt or leave you sore to be effective.

I’m not going to lie. Some times a massage does hurt. Sometimes it does leave you sore afterwards, technically you get a work out during a massage. Sometimes those muscles and fascia are so bound up and tight that releasing it is Not Fun™. Some muscles just don’t like to be worked. (Hee-llO subscapularis and psoas.) But there ARE ways around it. There are very gentle ways of coaxing a muscle, tendon, or aponeurosis into it’s natural state.

Also. DEEP TISSUE DOES NOT MEAN DEEPER PRESSURE. Repeat after me, children: Deep tissue does not mean deeper pressure. A gentle relaxing massage can have bruising deep pressure(not that I recommend it, and it’s probably not relaxing anymore!) Deep tissue is a specific modality with techniques to accessing deeper muscles under superficial layers of skin, connective tissues and surface muscle. It’s actually a very slow and focused type of massage. You don’t move fast unless warming up the superficial layers. It can utilize deeper pressure, but does not have to.

You might feel sore the next day; absolutely. You might feel a bit like you have the flu. This is common, but not the norm. You can wake up the next day feeling 100% fine. These not fun effects are though to be caused by the muscles getting a work out during the massage- just like the gym. The flu effects are thought by some to be caused by gunk pushed out of the tissue and back into the blood and lymph systems, or by dehydration due to increased circulation. This is why therapists will commonly tell clients to drink a lot of water/hydrating fluid after a massage. One single cause is not nailed down by researchers yet. Regardless, you should never be so sore that you can’t function the next day. That’s called an injury. (There are some applications of this in Physical Therapy, but I am the last person to ask about that.)

Men give the deepest massages/Women only do the ‘fluffy stuff’

Again, this is silly. Take me for example: I am 5 foot zero and weigh 110 pounds, struggle lifting more than 50 pounds, and I have made a big biker guy cry on a dare. I was often the one in school to get the deepest pressure once I learned how to apply myself. (We tiny women actually have a reputation in the industry for this!) It’s not about strength or body type. It’s all about your body mechanics and leverage. I wish I had pictures of me pushing my foot/ standing against a wall to get deeper pressure into a client’s traps. Cuz it looks awesome. Plus, muscling your way through a massage is most likely to injure you as a therapist.

All massage is the same.

Massage is a scientific art form. This translates to there being as many styles of massage as there are therapists and clients. It all is dependent upon how/ what the therapist feels, personal experience, and training bias. Each client will receive a massage tailored to their body.There is no universal technique guaranteed to work on everyone. Every body is a wonderful, unique body. Every body.

I personally combine techniques from Deep Tissue, Structural, and Shiatsu massages. This for me turns to a relaxing massage that targets connective tissue to release longstanding holding patterns or to prevent them from forming after injury. I also specifically target techniques to stimulate the Endocannabinoid system. (Yeah. You read that right. Endocannabinoids.)

You shouldn’t get a massage if you are pregnant/ have cancer.

It used to be believed that massage could terminate pregnancy or spread cancer cells. Recent research shows the opposite to be true. Medical Massage has been shown to decrease unpleasant side effects of pregnancy and cancer treatments. There are different treatments for cancers that would be a contraindication (such as radioactive implants) and other medical conditions during pregnancy that would warrant it as well. There are other medical conditions or medications that require abstinence from massage, but that is in Part Two.

Massage is a new thing made up by hippies/ My character in a High Fantasy World/historical setting wouldn’t experience/need massage.

This is just silly. As we’ve seen in in our history, Massage is ancient, maybe even ingrained into our species. Massage was originally a tool of Shamans and other ancient healers- and very common in Midwifery. The applications of massage are endless in all time periods and worlds.

As for the hippy thing- Yeah. A lot of us are absolutely more 'crunchy granola’ than the rest of our medical world friends. Many believe and receive training in Energy Work including Reiki, accupressure, and other meridian massages. I won’t post any information on it here as this is a medical website and we do not have scientific proof of any of it yet. But it does happen, and at the VERY least has a strong placebo effect, so if you want to include it in your story, go for it. Just put some proper effort into how these things go down.

(BTW, you’ve probably seen some manner of funny human making jokes about their weird experience with an 'auric massage’ and the therapist just floated their hands above them, right? That’s because energy healers do not have the licesce to touch. As far as my current knowledge goes, there is no government regulation regarding energy workers of this class.)

Massage is a magic cure all

This may be originating more from bias within the profession- we all want to think what we do will help humanity live better all the time. Massage has HUGE benefits and many, but can’t fix anything and everything- and it certainly won’t fix you in one session. When I was recovering from a particularly nasty whiplash injury it took 6 months of bi-weekly appointments in conjunction with other therapy to fix me. How exactly this will work out I’ll cover in my second post.

Massage is a woman’s industry

This is mostly true, based only on statistics. It’s believed that only 12% of LMT’s are male. This is changing, slowly. It’s true for some pretty messed up reasons, and those reasons should die. Those who want to hide from some brutal feminist truth should leave now.

NOTE: What I am about to say does NOT apply to those of you who have suffered through any kind of trauma. Your worries and fears are valid and will be treated as such by any competent therapist.

Many people, male or female, simply do not trust male therapists- due to homophobia and gross concepts of masculinity, that being worked on by a male will make them gay/seem gay, or the fear that they will be accosted/fondled, even if they have no history of such a thing happening to them.

I straight up call out anyone who has the homophobic view as fucked up. Sometimes the thought isn’t even consciously homophobic. Casual bigotry is still bigotry. This also shows an underlying belief that all touch is somehow sexual.

So if your character doesn’t want a man touching them because it’s 'gay’, what does that say about them preferring a woman’s touch?

This also highlights the shitty idea that only women can be caretakers/healers/provide a service for tips or so on. It’s a similar situation to how people are surprised at or even mock male nurses, belittle high ranking female anything, or how a woman can’t be a soldier or cop. But that is a debate for another time. Just know it’s fucked up and please don’t perpetuate it, please do everything you can in your stories to change this view.

If you are going to a reputable business there is no worry about any of these things of course- for anyone. Laws, company policies, and personal ethics will prevent any misconduct on the therapist’s part.

Here’s a few things to read up on regarding this: 1, 2, 3: This one is long but one of the best.

It’s a fact of life for massage therapists that at some point in our careers that we will be propositioned, or accused of inappropriate conduct (even if it is only perceived misconduct, or someone angling to get a free service).

This is not to say that misconduct doesn’t happen. Unfortunately it does. If you are including this in your story please frame it as something that is quite not okay on the part of either party, and show that the proper action is taken by authorities. This should never be portrayed as okay ever. (I’m looking at you- “hand of glory at the end of my Thai Massage Dean Winchester.”)

So there’s a number of Mythconceptions busted here. If you want to continue your research, hit up a local practitioner in your area- Many are more than excited to spread their knowledge! If you made it all the way through, congratulations! Your prize is reading Part 2: When your character will be needing/receiving massage, when they won’t or really shouldn’t, how a modern set up will go and how the therapist might be, and possible applications in a non-modern set up!

Hey everyone! Aunt Scripty again.

I hope you enjoyed that post as much as I did. Thanks again to Nana for her expertise and experience, as well as writing-focused perspective!

If you are a healthcare practitioner and want to clear up some myths about YOUR specialty, hit me up and let’s talk!

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

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#submissions #this post is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical condition #this post is not medical advice #this post is writing advice #submission #massage therapy #tropes #mythconceptions #masterposts

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alfredoameeya1996 · 4 years

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