#I love her she’s my wife if you didn’t know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hobicakess · 3 days

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ROYAL TREATMENT | KNJ

summary: Despite your arranged marriage you are coming to love Emperor Kim Namjoon and you surely do hope he's falling just as hard. Though in times like this you wished you never came to the Korean court, but Kim Namjoon sure does have a way with words and his coc-

rating: 18+ (I'm not your mother you're in control of what you consume)

pairings: Emperor!Kim Namjoon x Empress Reader

warnings: porn with a pretty plot , husband Namjoon, unedited, arranged marriage to lovers , period typical misogyny / ideals / themes , slight angst, minor violence , MC shakes the table , talks of having children, reader has a 'not like other girls moment' sorry , smug namjoon 'i want to eat his face' SMUT, Namjoon a emperor and a Dj? , clit pinching, fingering , nipple play, breeding kink no no no , very tame choking, big body tanned namjoon im seeing a pattern in all my namjoon fics.. love confessions, p in v, Namjoon loves his wife and MC loves her hubby 🫶🏼

authors note: Howdy hotties! this is my official apology for all the times i said i was going to update but i don't lol. this has actually been in my docs for a year… don't jump me pls have mercy!!! this is heavily inspired by Bridgerton and The great because i love a good hood jam!! anyway, hope you enjoy it and if you're new to my blog check out my other works xxx

Since you've come to the Korean court to marry Kim Namjoon, he has been nothing but a gentleman.

Taking his time to get to know you as a person never forcing you to do anything you didn't want to do. You rejoiced that he didn’t take you on your wedding night instead holding you until you fell asleep in his warm arms. In your months of getting to know Namjoon you were coming to love the emperor and you hoped that he was falling just as hard. Though as of right now in this moment you wished you'd never come to this court.

Never married, never taken the time to know and love the royal that is your husband.

The Ladies of the court made you want to disappear. They were gossiping geese who didn't even read, they didn't know anything actually, only thinking of the latest hats from France or Russia.

Aara was the leader of the flock and from what your handmaids had spilled– Aara and Namjoon used to have nightly affairs together before the two of you were married. You guess that's why she was so uppity and spiteful because she's bedded him, and you have yet too.

“When will you and the emperor have children?” Aara asked, raising her glass teacup up to her thin lips.

“I am not ready for children nor is he''

You and the emperor haven't even committed the act to conceive children, but she was the last person you'd tell this information to.

“When me and the emperor were intimate, he always said he'd put a baby in me. He's very vocal during lovemaking. That is too bad empress" all her geese cackle like witches while you sat in embarrassment.

Your jaw tightened, fingertips starting to shake as you blew out a loud breath attempting to calm yourself down. You didn’t want to act out due to the fact the court saw you as a cruel person all because you were a foreigner who looked nothing like any of the ladies in Korea. Apparently, half the court believed you were the spawn of Satan or a witch, some rumors spread that you weren't even of noble blood.

All they needed was one good excuse to try and have you dethroned as empress and executed, but you couldn’t just allow her to walk all over you and talk to you in any kind of way anymore. You were still her superior. Standing from your chair everyone except Aara followed.

Smoothing out your dress, you wait for her to move. Mockingly she looked around before she stood. “Oh, please forgive me for your grace. I did not notice you-"

The loud sound of the back of your hand making contact with her face echoed throughout the room. The music stopped playing and everyone went completely still and silent. Her geese tried to help her off the ground, but you raised a hand halting them to stop.

“Aara. Ever since I stepped foot in this palace you have treated me with the utmost disrespect. I have spared you multiple times from my wrath because I am the empress and it’s simply not lady like” watching in satisfaction as her face reddens.

“I do not care about your past relations with my emperor because at the end of the day. You were his whore, and I am his wife.”

“I will bring him success; you will bring him disgrace and illegitimate bastards who will never run this country. Disrespect me again and you will be thrown into the slums and forced to work in the fields” Nodding at the ladies you walked out double doors with a newfound confidence.

A Few Days Later

“SHE'S SAID WHAT?” you court maids' wince at the sound of your voice bouncing off the walls of your bathing room.

“Please do not be an angry empress.” Se-eun tried to reason by lightly pushing your shoulders back down into the milky lukewarm water.

“It is only a silly rumor.” Ye-Eun reassured you with a smile.

You settle your back onto the stone behind allowing Sumin to softly brush through your thick coils. While Yoon, Isa, and Si-Eun looked for fragrances to add to the water. The girls have been your only friends since you’ve stepped foot into the castle. Sighing you let yourself relax just a little bit “What if the emperor hears of this? Surely, he’s heard that I striked her only days ago”

“Yes, I’ve heard.” your emperor's deep voice echoed throughout the bath hall. Your Handmaid's scramble to bow but he simply raised his hand towards them “You’re dismissed.”

The girls bow toward you rushing off, now it was just you and your husband alone, and you were naked, but he couldn’t see your body through the creamy water. He walked towards you slowly moving into the spot behind you.

“I apologize for interrupting your bathing time, but I have been busy, and this seems to be the only place we can be left alone.”

“Of course, I understand my lord” you hum when you feel him brush through your hair. “I was gone from the palace for only six days' and yet you've already caused trouble.” He snorted, placing the brush down to lean on the tub's cold stone railing. “May I come in with you?”

You swallow hard, breathing heavily, nodding your head. You watched him wide eyed stand to his feet and start to unbutton his dress shirt showing off his golden chest, thick and toned. When he began to remove his pants you turned your head away placing your hands to your bare chest feeling your heart beating rapidly.

He stepped in leaning on the other side of the wall, “I've heard of you striking Aara, the whole noble country has” you sigh, sinking deeper in the water.

“You did well holding your own. I know she can be a.. nuisance.” he blew out a breath, thick arms stretching out to lean back on the marble.

“Because you used to fuck her no?” The emperor sputters, eyes widening at your word. “I have to get used to your vulgarness.”

You hummed feeling a creeping pettiness enter your body. "Just like I have to get used to your whores."

He stared at you with a playful glint in his eyes, "Are you jealous wife?"

You huff standing angrily, water dripping off your naked body, biting his lip tight, the pit of his stomach twisting in arousal as he stared at every curve and dip of your body. “I am not a commoner; I do not get jealous.”

He swallowed trying to find the right words but she they’re not leaving his lips. You continue on your angry rant as you leave the tub grabbing your own towel. “I came here all the way from ten buck two, married a man whom I have never met, and everyone has failed to inform me on how to deal with having a husband who likes to share his seed with women who will never-”

You squeaked as a strong arm wrapped around your body. Your bare back was pressed onto a wet chest and the warmth of his breath on your neck gave you goosebumps as you shiver. “Let… me go Namjoon.”

He hummed as his hand roamed your stomach embarrassedly kneading the doughy flesh. “You won't even let me say how proud I am? My empress, my wife who speaks her mind and lets her power over her subjects be known.”

You felt hot all over as his other hand softly wrapped around your neck then trails lower and lower to your center. “I wish I was there to see it” he pressed himself into your back and you felt it.

He was thick , and hot against your back as he groaned. “Tell me to stop and I will .. tell me please.” In front of you both there was a large mirror where you two stared at each other. He took your silence as a go to continue his touches on your body. He turned your head to him, pressing his lips to yours.

Roughly the two of you kisses tongues dancing over one anothers as his hands groped your breast, and nipples. When you both felt dizzy you part with a string of spit as you both panted. He smiled lazily brown eyes hazy as he partied your sticky thighs with his large hand. Finger swiping the essence that drips from your core.

“You squeal embarrassed, closing your eyes as he runs his finger effortlessly through your slippery folds, then taunting your clit. He effortlessly slipped his thick cock in between your folds, his hand gripping your hips tightly as he held your jaw in his other hand. He thrusts his hips into your pelvis smacking against your ass, your wetness coating his cock while he wildly fucked your thighs.

“Do you know how tempting you are?” He grunts in your ear while you gasp and wither under his touch. “I must hold myself back every night from pinning you down and fucking you worth an inch of your life.”

Your stomach began to twist from the pressure of his thumb stroking your clit in rough circles, “Joon-”

“There you go cum for me” You gasp, thighs quivering, feeling your knees wobble but he holds you up, thrusting quicker between your thighs. you fall apart in his hold shivering and gushing over him.

He pulls his cock from between your thighs hand wrapped around himself as he uses your essence to jerk his red and leaking tip. He cums with a deep groan, white ropes landing onto your ass. Namjoon's head falls onto your shoulder breathing you in.

“Lets clean up, hm?”

nodding weakly you allow him to bring you back into the now cool water of your bath. He cleans you without a peep only letting out soft deep rumbles

When the cleaning is done, he brings you to your shared bedroom that is connected to the bathing room laying you softly onto the soft fabric of your bed. You watch him busy himself grabbing the oils, and lotions you always applied after bathing. His hands started from your left foot rubbing you lovingly. The aching between your legs starts again, too aware of how close his hands were to your cunt as he makes his way use to the crease of your thighs. “I do not fornicate with. . . horses.”

Wow what a way to set the mood.

Namjoon chokes on his spit, a deep laugher bubbling from the depths of his chest.

#bts x black reader #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #yoongi x reader #namjoon x reader #kim namjoon x reader #namjoon fanfic #namjoon smut

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ham1lton · 7 hours

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glue song.

pairings: oscar piastri x childhood gf!reader.

faceclaim: rayan.xasan on ig <3

summary: after looking at some old photo albums, you stumble across an old photograph of your first love. you post it online and internet sleuths attempt to track him down.

author’s note: this was based on the interaction between that one girl and the other girl she met on the cruise. if you know, you know. i thought that would be a cute smau. ignore any spelling mistakes pls 😁😝

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

liked by user1, oscarpiastri and 124,893 others.

yourusername: jetlag isn’t too bad when your besties takes you straight from the airport to your favourite restaurant.

user19: omg is she going to meet oscar?

-> user2: she had a life before oscar lmfao. it could be a brand trip or a holiday.

bestie1: girl u almost fell asleep into ur ramen. how embarrassing 😬

-> yourusername: don’t expose me !! i was tired and the ramen looked comfy.

-> bestie2: it’s okay!! that’s why we’re here to stop you being enticed by sleepy noodles. <3

user9: where did u get ur hat!! so cute!!

-> yourusername: i made it myself!! i can send u the pattern if you’d like?

-> user9: yes please!! :)

-> yourusername: dmed u the pattern love! 🫶🏾💕

user6: she’s actually so cute. her and oscar need to date.

*liked by oscarpiastri*

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

liked by landonorris, bestie1 and 173,928 others.

yourusername: shout out to oscar from australia. ig he isn’t too bad of a date.

oscarpiastri: not too bad? high praise from you.

-> yourusername: you know it 🤭

-> oscarpiastri: i’m assuming this means date 2 is on the cards?

-> yourusername: … perhaps

-> oscarpiastri: text me :)

-> user67: i feel like we’re witnessing intruding on a moment here…

user1: NOOOO WE LOST HER

user7: at least oscar is a good photographer.

-> user8: i think she’s just insanely photogenic 😭

user9: curly haired y/n is my fav y/n!!!

bestie2: orange is cute but the red top would have been cuter.

-> yourusername: i’ll wear it tomorrow just for you <3

-> oscarpiastri: not even for me?

-> bestie1: back off koala 🤨👎🏼 she was ours first!

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

liked by landonorris, logansargeant and 308,789 others.

oscarpiastri: update from oscar from australia and y/n from (your country).

landonorris: not you soft launching?!

-> user1: you wouldn’t know what thats like would you? chronically online and single 🤣

-> landonorris: HELLO???? 😭😭

logansargeant: where is my thanks for letting you know about the tweet 🤨

-> oscarpiastri: thanks.

-> logansargeant: not good enough. i was thinking maybe a mansion? or at least a private jet. perhaps even a small country….

user7: THE LAST PIC!!)?2&292!

-> user12: do i wanna be him or her….

bestie2: told u the red was the best option yourusername 💕 ur glowing!!!

-> bestie1: BOOOOOOO 👎🏼 (u look good!!)

yourusername: when did you even take the first pic? i didn’t even notice 😭

-> oscarpiastri: when you were explaining the lore behind the hunger games series. you’re cute when you’re passionate.

-> user98: ‘YOU’RE CUTE WHEN UR PASSIONATE’ IM SLEEPING WITH THE FISHES TONIGHT 😭😭😭

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

taglist: @23victoria @alexmarie29 @mxdi0 @booksandflowrs @cuteskz @luckyladycreator2 @purplephantomwolf @casperlikej @nichmeddar @decafmickey @evie-119 @moviecritc @wildflowermarns @lichterfee @d3kstar @f1kenzzz @ravisinghs-wife @blupblupfish @demvnsriot @ajvaix @au-ghosttype @thehistoryone @raevyng @colmathgames2 @iloveyou3000morgan @namgification @formulaal @firelily-mimi @lemon-lav @67-angelofthelordme-67 @snapeeballsack @bernelflo @mehrmonga @hiireadstuff @c-losur3 @lavisenri @leaderofthebadbitchbrigade @seokjinkismet @dhanihamidi @tallrock35 @f1fan676 @imsiriuslyreal @samantha-chicago @f1withleire @kamabokogonpachro (wanna be removed? let me know via ask! want to join? taglist is in my bio!)

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little-diable · 1 day

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The Faeries - Tommy Shelby (smut)

The faeries keep following me around ever since those two small Tommy drabbles I wrote. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: Tommy and the reader have been using codewords around their children to talk about enemies. But when his enemies manage to kidnap the reader, their children are quick to tell Tommy who has been behind this all.

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, outdoor smut, mentions blood, angst because of kidnapping (?), but mainly fluff/smut

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader (1.7k words)

Smoke engulfed Tommy as he walked up to his house, taking a last few drags of his cigarette. Ever since this morning, he had been engulfed in an uneasy feeling, clinging to him like a shadow sewn to his frame, not daring to let go of him. Tommy hadn’t been able to pinpoint it, like a whisper in a foreign language he couldn’t decipher, forcing him to leave his office desperately needing to be close to his family.

He had been aching for (y/n)’s touch since stepping out of their bedroom in the early morning hours. She had always been the one he could turn to, the one that knew his darkest secrets, wanting to love every part of him or nothing at all, an ultimatum Tommy had given in to when first meeting her.

“Love?” Tommy’s voice echoed through the house as he shrugged out of his coat, expecting (y/n) to meet him at the bottom of the stairs as she normally would. But all Tommy was met with was silence, an eerie silence that left him frozen for a moment. He called out (y/n)’s name, hoping that she had simply been distracted, but nothing could be heard, nothing besides the sounds of naked feet meeting the wooden flooring.

Tommy’s icy eyes snapped towards the stairs, his gaze found the wide eyes of his three children and their young maid. Within seconds, he had run up the stairs, open arms pressing his children to his chest.

“Where is my wife, Madeleine?” The words came out harsher than he had intended, forcing the young girl to flinch. (Y/n) would have scolded him for his tone, and would have given him a push to instantly apologise to Madeleine, but time was ticking, an apology could wait until he had (y/n) back in his arms.

“The faeries, daddy.” His eyes met those of their youngest daughter. Confusion swapped through Tommy at her words, not understanding what she was trying to tell him.

“They spoke Italian, Mister Shelby.” And then everything clicked into place for him. Annoyance and anger began to mix deep inside of him, a deadly emotion for those daring to go against a man like Tommy Shelby. But as much as he longed for his wife, he didn’t fear for her, knowing that the men who had taken her would be faced with her wrath, making them quiver in fear as she gave in to the anger simmering inside of her.

It wasn’t the first time his enemies tried to rip (y/n) from Tommy, men who had been greedy, arrogant and stuck up, thinking they could rip a mother from her children without any consequences. The first time Tommy had found her, fearing for his wife, she had been covered in blood, and yet not one single drop had been her own blood. She had been on a rampage, clawing out the eyes of those men, ripping them open with a single blade. It had been a cruel sight that had left him feeling awfully proud of (y/n).

“I’ll get mommy back, I promise.”

……

“Were you always this violent? Or is this what Tommy Shelby has made out of you? You should have married me, yeah.” Alfie Soloman’s voice rang in (y/n)’s ears as she cleaned herself with the cloth he had pushed in her direction. She felt awfully dirty, covered in blood and mud, from being dragged through dark streets. Angry screams had ripped through (y/n), knowing that being loud was her best shot at finding her way out of her situation.

“I’m sure you understand what it means to fight for your family, don’t you, Alfie?” Their eyes met, looking at one another for a while without speaking another word. Both were connected by a strange bond that had formed in their childhood years, binding them together like siblings who weren’t connected by blood but by something even thicker.

“He should be here soon. What will you tell him?” Alfie squinted his eyes at (y/n), trying to read her expression, the emotions tugging on her features. He had found her in the warehouse, a bloody mess he had been forced to face as he guided her out of the place, the first to hear of the commotion that had taken place.

“That it is time to move. I’m tired of these unwanted guests showing up every few months.” The chuckles rumbling through Alfie lured a few chuckles out of (y/n) herself, momentarily closing her eyes as tiredness swapped through her. But before either one could relish in old memories, trying to pass the time, the door to Alfie’s office was pushed open.

“Tell me, Tommy, why is it always on me to rescue your wife?” Tommy didn’t spare Alfie a single glance as he came to a halt in front of (y/n). His cold hand found her chin, allowing his concerned eyes to take in her dirty features, looking for wounds. The relieved sigh ripping through Tommy as he didn’t find a single scratch on his wife rumbled through all their bodies.

“I’m alright, Thomas.” (Y/n) squeezed his hand as she rose to her feet. She let go of her husband for a moment to walk towards Alfie, to press a kiss to his cheek, and to murmur a soft “I’ll see you on Sunday for tea.”

Both men watched her walk out of the office, ready to find her way back home, set on letting go of the memories of this very night.

“Thank you, Alfie. But the next time you look at her like that, it’ll be me who starts scratching out eyes.”

……

“What are you doing, love?” Tommy’s soft voice broke through the quiet night. He had his icy eyes focused on her naked frame, watching her sink into the bathtub with a quiet whimper. Only a candle placed on the table standing next to the outdoor tub managed to alight their surroundings, giving Tommy a perfect view of her body.

“I need to take a bath before bed, I feel dirty.” With a sigh leaving him, Tommy walked up to the tub to take her hand, slowly interlacing their fingers. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m alright. By now, they should know that taking me won’t do them any good.”

“Charlotte told me you were taken by the faeries.” His words coaxed a laugh out of (y/n), who kept staring up at her husband with love swimming in her pupils. She tugged on his hand, wordlessly asking him to join her, to press her body close to his for a desperately needed distraction.

“It fits, don’t you think? Those mischievous little shits are just like them. She’s a smart one, I’m glad she told you.” (Y/n)’s eyes followed his every movement, watching her husband undress with a soft smile playing on her lips. She made some room for Tommy, allowing him to sink into the water, with his front pressed against her back.

“I am sorry, I should have been there.” Water splashed around them as (y/n) turned, straddling his thighs with one hand finding Tommy’s chest and the other his cheek. For a moment, (y/n) allowed herself to take him in, his soft features, those lips she longed to kiss, everything she had always loved since meeting him.

“Don’t be sorry, I enjoy the thrill every now and then.” His head rolled back as a raspy laugh left him, exposing his throat for her lips to find his skin. (Y/n) slowly kissed her way up his throat, finding his lips at the same time his hands settled on her waist, pulling him even closer against his hardening cock.

“I need you, Thomas, fast, hard, no teasing tonight.” Their lips met in a needy kiss, letting their tongues meet, sharing unspoken words that lingered in the air. Tommy allowed (y/n) to move freely, knowing that she was ready for him, dripping for her husband. With their foreheads pressed together, (y/n) slowly sank down on his cock, letting go of a low groan.

“For you and our children, I’ll fight every creature out there.” (Y/n)’s words had a heavy weight to them, guiding his hand to her throat, holding her in place for Tommy to properly look at her. Her walls clenched around his cock as she slowly moved, high on the feeling of being stretched by him.

“And I’ll always start a war if the creatures don’t give me my queen back.” Even though both were focusing on different sensations, how Tommy helped her move, how his thumb slowly circled her pulsing bundle, both couldn’t help but chuckle at the mention of their code words, how they began to speak about what was worrying them years ago.

“I love you, Thomas Shelby.” (Y/n) moaned her words against his lips, and she began to tremble, knowing that her high was close. Without breaking the kiss, Tommy managed to shuffle them around in the tub, letting the back of her head rest against his hand as he fucked her, hovering over her.

Neither of them cared about the water splashing onto the grass, neither of them cared about the mess they were making, fully focused on one another. They held eye contact as (y/n) gave in, letting his kiss swallow her moans as he fucked her through her intense orgasm. She was trembling beneath Tommy, having to hold onto the rims of the tub before she’d pass out and give into the call of the dimension he was close to pushing her into.

Tommy came with a deep groan, letting his eyes flutter close to relish in the sensation. He held onto her, not daring to let go just yet as the cold breeze teased their naked bodies, still running high on their orgasms and the warming sensations. And for tonight, neither of them would speak of the past hours again, until morning came, and Tommy would seize this chance to start another war in favour of his wife.

#Tommy Shelby smut #Tommy Shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby imagine #Peaky Blinders

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kangnina · 2 days

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Rich!Jungwon 7

Jungwon Masterlist

Now playing - Desire by ATEEZ; It's You by ATEEZ

Everyone was shocked by the sudden death of Jungwon’s father, including you. Although Jungwon didn’t say it, you know he regrets not having the opportunity to repair the rift between them. The funeral was suspiciously fast, small and private for a world renowned entrepreneur. But you kept that opinion to yourself, as it was already hard enough on Jungwon. He wasn’t given the time to properly mourn before he was catapulted into complete ownership of Yang International. Your mother-in-law tried her best to guide Jungwon based on what she knew about YI. Even she wasn’t prepared for how overwhelming her late husband’s job would be for her college aged son. There was little to nothing you could do to help. You offered words of encouragement. Yet ultimately, you decided to stay out of the way until the dust settled. Jungwon would be gone before you wake up and he’d come home after you were asleep. He often left gifts so that you’d know you were always on his mind. He would text you when he had a moment to breathe. But of course, you missed him. You missed how much simpler things were before you got married.

“Wow, I never thought I’d be allowed to set foot back in here. Or if I ever did, I thought I’d get a bullet in my ass,” Sunoo says, unpacking his grocery bags. “Geez, Sunoo. We’re not the mafia,” you laugh. You were bored and lonely so you called him over for dinner. “Are you sure?” He whispers to you after glancing over at Franklin who is on the phone, clearly giving someone a report of what you’re currently up to. You shrug. At this point, you don’t care. For weeks, your husband has been non-existent and you still don’t have a clue who is supposedly out to get you. Having the only friend you have left come over for dinner makes life not suck so much right now. Sunoo’s visit lifted your spirits for a few hours and you agreed to make it a regular weekly event.

But when night comes, you are in your giant bed, staring at the ceiling. ALONE, yet again. You wouldn’t have even known Jungwon came home except for the fact that he yelled your name like a madman when he walked through the front door just after midnight. It scared the shit out of you. Franklin helped him up the stairs. You meet them at the landing, apologizing to Franklin as you take a hold of him and usher him into your bedroom. You close the door and remove your robe. Jungwon falls back onto the bed, his face flushed. Ears red. Clearly drunk. As you try to pull off his shoes and socks, he rambles on about an ungrateful client he had to wine and dine to keep happy. You reach up to unbuckle his pants and he playfully growls, pulling you on top of him. “All work and no play! I miss my beautiful wife!” He’s grabbing your ass and kissing you as you try to get up and finish preparing him for bed. “Kiss me! I miss you. Don’t you still love me, Jagiya?” he whines, looking at you with glossy eyes. “Yes, I love you Jungwon,” you say softly, giving him a quick kiss to reassure him. His phone rings in his pants pocket. He grumbles while fumbling for it. Once he yanks it out, he yeets it somewhere in the room where it lands with a loud thud and then silence. “GOOD! I hope it’s broken. I fuckin' hate that thing. It never stops ringing. I can’t even take a fuckin' piss in peace,” he says, running his hands over his face. He is in rare form and you can’t help but laugh at his unfiltered state. Hearing your laughter, Jungwon smiles at you, once again grabbing your ass and grinding up against you. His voice is soft, almost a whisper: “Please Jagiya. I miss you so much. Your laugh. Your kisses. Your body. Please. Let me fuck you baby. Please.”

It’s been a while since you’ve heard him speak to you like this. Every time he does it – you’re immediately down bad. You know he’s drunk but it couldn’t hurt if he wants it just as badly as you do. You kiss him gently but he’s urgent and desperate. His wine flavored tongue eagerly plays with yours as you unbuckle his pants and reach into his briefs to stroke him. Jungwon closes his eyes and moans against your lips. He’s pent up and so are you. You both know it. When you pull away to remove your nightie and underwear, he clumsily pulls off his dress shirt over his head. He’s so cute fumbling with his pants. You giggle and he smiles. Dimples deep because it’s music to his ears. You help him pull off his underwear before climbing back on top of him, grinding your pussy against his hard cock making him moan as he sucks on your nipples. He gives one a gentle bite making you flinch and mewl. “Don’t tease me, Jagiya. I need to fuck you,” he grabs his cock and presses into you, lifting his hips. You both groan in unison as you sink deeper. You rest your hands on his pecs, forearms on his abs as you lift your hips up and down, riding him slowly. You love the feel of every inch in and out. You want to savor it and make love. But Jungwon is impatient and needy. He wants to hear you scream his name while he makes you lose your goddamn mind. He grabs your ass with both hands and puts his feet on the bed, bending his knees. Lifting his hips to fuck up into you. “Oh fuck. Fuck. FUCK.” The angle is so perfect it has you clinging to his shoulders, digging your nails into his hot flesh. Vibrating, on the verge of cumming in a few thrusts. He grins, watching you collapse on to him, your body shaking as your cream on his cock. Jungwon rubs small circles on your back as you catch your breath. “I love you,” you kiss him as you start to roll your hips again, still clenching around his thickness. “Mmm, I love my greedy little Jaigya,” he chuckles. You run your fingers up his neck and into his hair. “So greedy,” you look into his eyes as you rock your hips faster. “Ooh, baby I’m close,” he says, cock twitching and filling you up within a matter of seconds. You feel his abs tense beneath you as his pretty eyes squeeze shut but you keep going. “Mmm baby. Please.” he says, biting his lip. Your fingers grip a little tighter in his hair. You clench around his softening cock. “Jagiya, ah ah ah,” he hisses from the overstimulation. Jungwon opens his eyes, brows furrowed with an intense gaze burning into you as he smacks your ass, grabbing it hard, to hold you still. “Don’t be a bad girl.” You kiss him softly, whispering, “It’s been so long. I just want every single drop of you, Wonie.”

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@nyfwyeonjun @maymarrylhs @nyxtwixx @ilabjungwon @enha-ism @belowbun @mydearestwonnie @woniesprincess04 @esiromi @crispysharkwizard @snoopypupp @moonlightndaydreams @daydreams-after-dark @wildflowermooon @emi-en

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christinebloodwrittings · 1 day

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To hunt or be hunted #11

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader x Lucifer Summary: Drinks with Alastor turned the heat up! Warnings: Gore, blood, Smut.

Thank you so much to the amazing @hazelfoureyes she's the author of the smut here! She was an amazing help for this, so go to her profile and give her lots of love!! Her masterlist

Hazbin Taglist: @sakuraluna2468 @boogiemansbitch @mysterypotatoink @sibsteria @cherry-cola-100 @readergirlstuff @phoenixica24 @martinys-world @alientee @jellyroom2 @jewelsrules @ladyzaunis @zealousllamawolf @kittycat246 @shamblezzz @looking1016

“Alastor, it’s me” An Alastor with a seemingly white tie ensemble only with red and black colors, opened the door to his studio. Red evening tailcoat, It’s not closed entirely, double breasted black dress shirt, high pants held up by suspenders, winged collar and butterfly bow tie, he looked amazing. That was, at your time, the highest and most formal wear for men.

“Y/n dearest, I thought you had forgotten of me” he offered his hand to you, pretending to be hurt, “Never, sorry for the delay, the comedian that arrived a while ago was a blast, made me laugh to tears” as you walked up the stairs he eyed the dress you wore, feeling disgust as he knew who had tailored for you.

With a click of his fingers, his green magic made a flash on your body, flapper’s dress red and black materialized. It had tons of black beads and shiny flowers. Your hands were covered by laced long gloves. Golden medium high heels that matched the golden headband.

“Hey, this is lovely” he smiled proud of his work, “Figured it was better than the ensemble you were wearing” You didn't ignore his bitter tone, but you didn't want to rub it in, instead you rolled your eyes and smiled as he prompt you to sit on a chair near his radio panel.

“I have a surprise for you” he pulled up an album, in between the pages were pieces of newspapers all about the Axe-man of Louisiana, “How did you brought this down here?” he put in your hands, allowing you to pass on the pages. “I have my ways” he was proud, even more so when you started showing signs of homesickness.

“I don’t regret a single one of this encounters, except the crazy as fuck letter that I wrote” which was in one of the pages, a subtle 'oh' from you made Alastor laugh, "Do you know that I read that letter on the radio? I don't know how I didn't laugh while I was doing so, but as soon as it was off the air I couldn't stop” you hit him on the shoulder playfully.

“That was my last murder, I wasn’t in my right mind, the cut was sloppy and I didn’t even reached the brain, it was a mess” he was invested in the story, you could tell by the way his smile looked more relaxed.

“The wife saw me but didn’t said anything, instead she wanted me to confirm that he was dead, as soon as I did she thanked me” part of you was pissed she didn’t felt fear, the other was at peace with that, “It made me sick to see her wounds, but I guess it didn't make sense to think that a bad man could be a good husband” your eye roll and sarcasm put an amused grin on his face.

“I’m not a good man, but I know I can be a good husband” he took your hand, knowing your point but still making his own on top, “Because you don’t abuse little girls Alastor, that’s the line between a bad man and a monster” and he was proud his mom taught him better, “You eliminated all those vermin, how you’re not in heaven?” in his mind no one so well thought as yourself should be in hell just for taking out a contaminator, “Because a life is a life I guess, not matter how worthless” not enough, he needed to make the puzzle you were less of a mystery.

“How did you died?” to him it didn’t made sense, your appearance, “The Axe-man did it” but he wasn’t satisfied, he needed to take the bodies from the closet, “Is this your real face?” taking a better posture on the chair you sternly made him explain, “What do you mean?”.

“You used a mask when you got here, even in life you were famous because you were never identified” he was truly informed, a fan of your ways , “What was my modus operandi?” you asked, eyeing a photograph of the bayou in between the pages, “Axe through the head” he answered, “Face” you corrected him.

“I did the same with me, what I came to know later was that there was a fire caused by a misplaced candle, took years of deep care to my body to be this soft, but I had no face” that information was new, “I don’t care how much I like you Alastor, but if you try to say this to anyone else my coming back victim will be the radio demon” to be fair, that thought turned him on, just the feeling of your fangs on him again was enough to rile him up.

“Charlie gave me a face, this one-” he placed his hand on your cheek, appreciating the feeling, “For your information, dying by your hand, would be my upmost pleasure” a crack of his chair was heard before he placed a gentle kiss on your temple.

“What made you do a contract with her?” he had thought that question for a while, Charlie didn’t exactly gave him an answer when he approached her, “What will you give me in exchange?” he swayed his hand in the air, the wall turning onto itself.

“The pleasure of seeing me kill him” sat in a chair was your ex-husband, almost unrecognizable in all the bruises and cuts everywhere.

You were speechless, he did that for you? Alastor turned the man that hurt you in his own punching bag, just for you. “I was angry, she wanted to help, I wanted her to die” you admitted, watching closely all the wounds on his body, “The princess will die at the end of this?!” he rose from his chair, green hue surrounding him.

With a smirk you out yourself at his level, “You sound a tad too preoccupied for someone that made her sign a blank contract” his ears pinned down his head, “I have my reasons” he added, bitterly so, “Too bad she can’t help you with that leash” your fingers grabbed the invisible pull around his neck making him growl, “You’re despicable” he spit, his eyes turning colors, black and red dials, “And you a manipulative narcissist, hungry for power, cannibalistic fool” a growl of your own made him shiver in place instinctively.

Pulling on your hair he took your lips on a kiss, your hands flying to his neck, hugging his shoulders yearning for his touch. His tongue pushed his way into your mouth, an audible yelp got swallowed from your mouth my his.

“You two are crazy” your ex cried from his seat, calling yours and his attention. “My darling, this is one of your birthday gifts” he pointed to all the black ties around his body and the chair, “Car cables, how many watts?” his hands circled your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder, wickedly smiling when he uttered “39.9” with a purr, “That’s twice the electric chair, your idea of foreplay is splendid” you kissed his cheek earning a sigh from him.

Your eyes darted towards your ex, “The mobster’s wife drowned our daughter in the river, just so you know” while he started crying his guilt out you walked up to the switch, “Start recording, I want all of hell to hear him later” he pushed a button on his panel “Of course mon cœur”.

As soon as you flipped the switch, the radio electricity that Alastor provided overloaded your ex-husband's body and made it blow into a thousand pieces, staining your dress and some of the walls. “The dress is ruined” you shook some of the blood off, before you were pulled to Alastor’s lap, “You’re a tease” you smiled, “And a manipulative narcissist” he used your own words against you, but with a laugh.

“She can’t help?” he referred to Charlie and his deal with her, “The only one that can has a short sense of humor towards you” you booped his nose, “You’re hilarious” his eye roll made you laugh, “And you…prideful-ah!” he bit you on the neck, “But you like me either way” he knew you liked him at least a little bit, “Guilty as charged” however, he knew he wasn’t the only one.

“But you like him as well” he made your heart beat painfully in your chest, “I went from nothing to have two sources of affection, I became an addict” he pressed his cheek to yours, “I…mmh” he bit his tongue, “I don’t know what I can do, whatever I choose will hurt me, and one of you” he pulled you closer while you spoke, your knees straddling his hips.

“How about both?” he thought out loud, “I didn’t take you for a sharer” ‘If that can overrule the deal, make you stay and arrange it so we won’t lose you, then’ he thought, “I can swallow my pride that far” then his confession seemed so surreal, “Is that my second gift?” he smiled trying to mask his embarrassment.

“I hope it can suffice” he whispered, his hand petting your hair, “I don’t want to seem greedy” could you really date both? “Oh you are, darling, but I bet the king and I adore you either way” head pressed against his chest, felt right, just as much as having Lucifer curl up with you at night.

“Thank you” he hummed in response, “That won’t do” you thought it for a second, “Want me to take the lead?” maybe he wanted a reward for being so good to you, “I already gave you my answer a while ago” ‘Devour me’ you remembered his words, while adjusting yourself on his lap, you could feel his erection, “All this for little old me? How flattering” the clothed friction electrified his senses.

“You know what I found out?” Your breath ghosted along his neck, little bite marks already reddening as your hands found their way to his pants. “You love being in control, but even more so…” you bit gently on his neck, “When I control you” he let a shaky breath escape his throat, making it looked like he had been holding it for a minute now.

“Hands behind your back” you took off his belt, twisting it around his wrists, tightly but not so much, “I want to thank you for the amount of trust you give me” Zipper down, you grabbed either side with your hands and pulled them down with a swift yank.

“I’ll tear you apart if you…-” tell anyone? No, you were going to have him all to yourself, “Tempting, but I would never” you stopped your movements when you caught a magnetic scent, “Is this a new cologne?” he hummed a yes, “You like it?” you nodded excitedly, “Yes, and though the white tie dressing is sexy, is horribly tedious to undo” the red and black suit was too gorgeous to ruin, but he had that in mind.

“Claw your way through it” he furrowed his brow, “I don’t want to ruin it” the fabric was far too exquisite, “You’ll make me beg for it?” his words made your tail slightly wag, “How far can you swallow your pride?” he laughed in response, “Chérie, please claw your way through it” It was the show of strength that took him by surprise, not that it wasn’t adding to the strain of his cock against his underwear. You ripped the pant legs off in tandem, slowing down as you brought your hand to the curved bulge now open for you to enjoy. Finally, a moment to pause.

His hands wouldn’t be stopping you now, but the way his was cutting into his lip as he bit down in anticipation made it clear you were not unwanted.

A slow drag down his clothed erection, small wet spot forming at the head. “Now this, this is all for me. No denying that, no questioning.” His hips bucked up instinctively, chasing your finger for more friction. A little giggle from you, realizing how much fun you were about to have.

Leaning down between his legs, you let your nose slid up his length. Hot breath ghosting over his head, that wet spot growing as he twitched.

“Y/N…,” he growled, “Enough.”

You shook your head and hooked your fingers under his waistband and peeling them off. A hiss as the air hit his precum slicked cockhead. Heavy and hot, you took him in your hands. No stroking, no squeezing. Your eyes looked into his, attempting to look as innocent and confused as you could to counter the small rage overwhelmed by arousal.

“Should I stop then?” A squeeze at his base. Another raise of his hips.

His head drooped down, a nearly imperceivable shake of his head. “Good boy” Your hand rose up slowly, then back down. Each stroke you rose further and further until your hand was rolling over his head with every pass. Clear and sticky, his precum slowly made a lovely wet sound fill the space between you two. As his breath began to hitch, shoulders tightening and drawing in you, you stilled your hand. A whimper was your reward.

Letting a beat come, feeling that pulse slowdown in the heat in your hands, you only then began again. Taking pleasure in biting at his inner thighs when you noticed his body tensing up with the next attempt to cum, the pain breaking him just enough to let you regain the control.

You brought him closer and closer each time, managing a third before you finally gave in and let him meet his climax and paint your knuckles and his station floor. “Sloppy” you mocked, letting your finger rub at his slit. Alastor’s knees drew up, hands tugging at his restraints.

“It’s too sensitive. Up”

“Why are you still so hard then?” Your hand twisted over his head and shaft. His legs were hitting at your ribs, body trying to escape your hand but with nowhere to go.

“You’re pushing your luck, chérie”

You liked pushing your luck. Watching him hiss and convulse was bringing out the sadist in you. With a second to consider it, you nodded to yourself and swiped your tongue up the bottom of his cock. Salty, bitter, hot. Focused, your tongue edged along the neck of his glans.

As he squirmed, he realized you hadn’t been made to squirm yet… nor last time. Motivation found; his smirk finally returned in full.

The sound of the leather ripping as his arms pulled them apart reached your ears too late. You knew he could have gotten free at any time but you hadn’t expected him to actually do it. You knew despite his act; he enjoyed letting you be the one pulling his reins.

A hand in your hair pulled you off his lap, another took hold of your waist. The wind was knocked out of you as he tossed you to the floor between the chair and his table.

Alastor had had enough. You had your fun, you teased, you took control of the dynamic. He warned you, and now he would reclaim the power.

“Allow me to return the favor. I have a debt to you, after all.”

You hissed a warning that he ignored, ripping through your dress with ease. Unfair, you thought. You hadn’t been quite as quick when you undressed him. Had you known it was a competition you’d have made a quicker order of his pants earlier.

A clawed hand slid down your pelvic mound, two fingers spreading open your lips on the way down to your entrance. “You’re already dripping. You acted so tough earlier, but you were melting.”

“Can it.”

He hummed, both fingers bending and slipping into you with a slight resistance. Though you both enjoyed a little sadomasochism, he wasn’t trying to hurt you. So preparation was a necessity. Not that you minded, hips rutting into his palm to bring his digits deeper. Your hands came to your chest, feeling yourself while his own hands were occupied.

You hadn’t minded not finding your own release last time, but the promise of Alastor drawing an orgasm out of you made your pussy clench around his fingers.

“Not enough?” The radio static of his normal voice grew as a direct reflections of his faltering control.

Your hands came between your leg and pull his hand away, “I want you.” Hooking your legs around his waist you dragged his lap to your core and rubbed your slick smeared folds up and down his growing length. “Enough foreplay” you growled, wild and feral expression darkening your eyes.

Happy to oblige though not eager to show it, he took his time drawing back his hips. Already so hard he didn’t need his hands to enter you, Alastor let his claws grip the flesh of your thighs as he pressed into your heat, moving your tail to the side, tempted to grab hold of it, but he ignored it.

A brief moment passed over his face when his smile faltered, the pleasure of getting back into you breaking his focused facade. He took a breath and that smile widened again, eyes opening to lock on your face as he started immediately into a steady rhythm. He knew what you needed to cum, something from within told him exactly how to work your body on his cock to make your vision white out. A consistent and determined thrusting, the sounds of his hips and balls smacking into your body getting louder as the sweat and arousal was shared skin to skin.

The noises of your bodies hitting together punctuating the restrained moans you were biting back made his ears twitch. Debauched, a moment you let yourself be bested. Rarely did you surrender but for his dick you lied on back for him. Or on all fours. Or… his head fell forward. Hanging there he could hide his uneven smile behind his curtain of hair. He could see himself disappearing into your body. Effortlessly you were sucking him in and gripping with every withdrawal.

The buildup of your orgasm was stalled, your hand coming to your clit to push yourself over the climax. As soon as your handed started strumming at your little bud, your walls spasmed and squeezed Alastor.

“Y/N, Are you close?”.

You nodded, eyes clenched shut. Your stomach muscles tightened and threatened to cramp your arching back.

When was the last time you felt good about this? Wanted? Loved even? Was this it, at last you found someone that could match your unique self?

“Me too.” Alastor groaned it out, body straightening. Onto your shoulders were touching the floor of his station now, back bent with the chase of your orgasm and Alastor lifting your ass so he could fuck up into you.

It was a fact your knees would bruise his sides as you finally came, legs wrapping around him and pulling him as deep as you could get him. It wasn’t enough, you whined with the rare display of desperation to have more of him.

As if he felt that draw as well, he let your body back down. His body rested on top of yours, the air slightly pushed out of your lungs. With a weak and broken moan into the side of your head, he pressed your body into the floor as he came buried as deeply as he could physically manage.

“I’ll talk to Mr. vertically challenged” he breathed out, “Are you sure?” you saw spots of colors, regaining as little strength as you could, feeling your body being pulled backwards. Soon enough you were in his lap again, curled up against his chest, “You go out tomorrow, I think I can convince him” he looked down to you, with the softest look he could provide.

“Deal” you kissed his chin, he felt how your tail tangled around his waist, it was soft and warm, “Just don’t get killed” he took your lips in a kiss, “I won’t” you gave him an unamused stare, “I’m serious” he kissed you again, as if he could erase your worries like that.

“Now, let’s get cleaned up, cuddle the king so he doesn’t suspect anything” you made a pout which he found adorable, “I thought we could sleep together” he made you and him appear in his bathroom, where his shadow already made a warm bath for you two.

“I’m going to compensate for the other day, but I feel…weird” he was overstimulated, so you understood and rather enjoyed the bath and his delicate way to spread the soap across your skin, rather than object him.

After a good night kiss, you went back to Lucifer’s room, finding him in the same position you left him in. “Luce, Luci” you slid in between the covers, calling him softly to get him to cuddle, in which as soon as he heard you, regained a bit of senses, enough to fit his head in your chest and his arms around your waist.

---------------------------------------------

Stay tuned ;3

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tiredfox64 · 2 days

Note

Are you comfortable with writing about the reader and Smoke are expecting a child and Smoke is freaking out since it's their first kid as reader goes into labor?

Calm Down! Everything Will Be Okay!

Prior notes: HOW MANY BABIES HAVE I WRITTEN ALREADY?!!!? Got me paranoid. I don’t claim this energy yet.

Pairing: Tomas x Pregnant! Afab reader

Warnings ‼️: GIVE BIRTH

How exciting! Your first child with your wonderful husband. A sweet baby girl on the way just ready to melt your heart.

If only your husband Tomas could just relax.

He doesn’t have cold feet, thank goodness. He just wants everything to be perfect and for you and the baby to be safe. The thought of losing you scares him to death. Even though you have been keeping yourself in good health and the doctors said you were in perfect conditions he was still being cautious.

He is baby proofing everything and anything. He has a bunch of books on how to support a pregnancy wife and how to be a good father. He went over birthing plans before the first trimester ended. He wanted to be on top of everything after topping you.

Yes, you were nervous as well. You’re becoming a mother. That is a huge commitment. But you took what knowledge you have gained in life and tried your best to stay steady. Drink some raspberry leaf tea, hum to prevent throwing up, exercise and stretch a little to make labor easier, you have tricks and you will use them. If your mama was able to push you out, you can do the same with that baby girl in your belly. You’re a strong woman, you got this mama!

Your due date is soon and Tomas is about ready to scream.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

You sit at the table with Harumi, enjoying your breakfast to the best of your abilities. She’s asking how you’ve been feeling and you tell her the same thing about how your back hurts and your feet are sore.

“Ugh, when is this baby gonna come?” You groaned.

Now, the baby will come now. You manifested it.

In that moment your water broke. You thought you had another accident but then you felt a cramp. No, wait, not a cramp, that’s a contraction. Oh lord that is not pleasant.

Harumi was about to run out but you didn’t want to be alone in that moment. She questioned how you will get help then. Then you started to scream,

“THE BABY IS COMING!”

That message went out and into the ears of the many members of the Shirai Ryu.

“The baby is coming!” Kuai Liang yelled

“The baby is coming!” Hanzo screeched

“Oh my baby is coming…” Tomas, did it click in yet?

“MY BABY IS COMING!” There it is.

Tomas sped towards the room you were in. He picked you up with ease and brought you to your bedroom. You were the one who wanted a home birth, this will be interesting.

Tomas is yelling at everybody. Get some towels, get the doctors, get some ice chips, by the elder gods his wife is in labor!

He’s yelling but you really just want him by your side right now. You kept doing your breathing practices to help with the contractions. But breathing won’t help with the feeling that hell itself is opening inside you. You call for him, begging him to come near.

“Oh my sweetest, it will be okay. Just breathe and I’ll make sure you are well taken care of. WHERE ARE THOSE ICE CH-“

You yanked Tomas by the collar of his uniform which cut off his scream. You appreciate everything he is doing but he can tone it down on the screaming.

“Listen, I know everything will be alright. Just please stay by my side. Don’t leave me at all. I really need your support.” You begged him.

Tomas was looking down at you. You are the love of his life and you are about to push out his child. You’re already sweating and panting. He can see that you need him and you need him to stay calm in this moment.

“Alright. I’ll stay here. I won’t move at all. You got this.” He kisses your hand.

You would have smile if it weren’t for the contraction that hit you like a son of a bitch. Better start cursing like a sailor because that will be the only pain relief you can afford right now.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

You are so lucky. So very lucky that you were in labor for only an hour. This could have taken a whole day. But now you have a wonderful baby girl in your arms.

This was the most amazing sight to see for Tomas. Now he has two beautiful girls that he loves in his life. He is so grateful to see you well. You luckily didn’t need stitches down there. Just six weeks of rest and it will feel brand new down there.

“See Tomas, everything turned out fine. If you consider having a fussy girl to be fine.” You chuckled as you tried to calm down your somewhat grumpy baby.

“Yeah, everything is fine. Everything is perfect actually.” He kissed the top of your forehead before taking another look at the baby.

A combination of you and Tomas in a seven pound body. She’s gonna grow up with the best dad in the world. Tomas is imagining all he could do with her and how he’s gonna treat her like a princess.

Kuai Liang, Harumi, and Hanzo came in to congratulate both of you. Tomas entrusted Kuai Liang and Harumi to be your baby’s godparents which they were honored.

Tomas placed the baby in the crib so you can finally rest after that struggle. He starts brushing your hair away from your face before you all heard Hanzo say something.

“Oh she looks so weird.”

“WHAT!” Tomas tells again before running over to the baby’s crib. Kuai Liang and Harumi run as well. There’s nothing wrong with her.

“You’re looking at her upside down.” Kuai Liang said before grabbing Hanzo by the arm and pulling him to the front of the crib.

“Oh yeah you’re right that is a baby.” Hanzo thinks he’s an inspector now.

An exhausted sigh leaves everyone’s lips. That’s enough for the day. Get some rest, Tomas will take care of things while you are out.

After notes: I love that man. I love that man to death. I love maining that man. That man would be a good dad. I’ll make him a dad…BAYBLADE BAYBLADE LET IT RIP. Adiós!

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epicbuddieficrecs · 8 hours

Text

Weekly Recap | May 6th-12th 2024

Have a good week everyone!

If you know anyone who isn't tagged, please tag them in the comments!

Complete

you don't wanna know me now by spaceprincessem/ @spaceprincessem (Post-S7E7 | 1,3K | Teen): “Just one date,” Kim says casually, though she’s definitely picked up on whatever weird, uncomfortable tension has just entered the room with them, “this past Friday.” “Friday?” Buck repeats in an octave much higher than his normal one. Because Friday... Friday was when he watched Christopher while Eddie went out on date with — not Marisol, apparently.

taurus moon, libra rising by coldbam/ @coldbam (Established Buddie | 1,4K | General): “And I’m getting a lot of Virgo energy from Firefighter Diaz.” “Oh my God, he is a Virgo.” Buck excitedly smacks Eddie on the arm. “Do me next!” ~ Buck falls into astrology. Eddie is Eddie.

Mistakes by theotherlucifer/ @theotherbuckley (S7E7 Coda | 1,6K | Teen): Or Eddie Diaz makes bad decisions, but he can't help it, it's his wife.

Fluttering Wings of Freedom by Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (S7E5 Spec, Coming Out | 2K | General): Hen didn’t really know what she expected to find. Her mind had raced through a million different scenarios, catastrophizing the way only a paramedic could when faced with getting a phone call from her wife telling her to forget the groceries and hurry home. She’d expected broken glass or maybe blood and tears. What she didn’t expect was to find Karen sitting patiently in the arm chair with a cup of hot cocoa in her hands, a bottle of Jack on the coffee table, and Buck practically vibrating on her couch.

wait for the feeling of you by coldbam/ @coldbam (PWP, Established Buddie | 2K | Explicit): “Fuck. Get up here. Let me take care of you.” Eddie feels Buck shake his head, still nuzzled against his thigh. He gives one last kiss to Eddie’s skin, then starts extracting himself from between Eddie’s legs, wiping his mouth along the way. “No, I’m good. We’re running late as it is.” And…that is reasonable and rational. They did get a bit carried away, and they are expected to make an appearance at Bobby’s for a barbeque. Except…

meditating on your lips by coldbam/ @coldbam (PWP | 3K | Explicit): Buck comes out, and Eddie has some interesting dreams.

blackout by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Getting Together | 3K | Explicit): Buck wakes up hungover on Eddie's couch, with no memory of the night before. Eddie's at just as much of a loss as he is, but their friends seem to know something they don't.

let it once be me (who do i have to speak to) by lenaboskow (Post-S7E4, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): “Why not me?” Eddie didn’t mean to say it. The question had been banging around in his head for the past week, but now it was out in the open, echoing off the walls of the loft for Buck to hear instead of safe in his mind. “Why– what do you mean?”

things you shouldn’t say to me by coldbam/ @coldbam (Getting Together, PWP | 4K | Mature): Eddie comes out, sleeps around, and Buck hears all about it.

little by little by MediaWhore/ @mediawhorefics (BuckTommy, Madney Wedding | 4K | General): Or Buck & Tommy, during and after the wedding.

he's never gonna love you like I want to by BekkaChaos/ @bekkachaos (S7, Demisexual Eddie | 5K | Teen): Eddie and Marisol talk about their relationship and the next step, and Eddie tries to articulate how he feels and why things aren't moving as fast as Marisol wants. A couple of days later Buck goes to Eddie's and they have a long talk about their feelings and their relationships, and probably let things go unsaid that aren't yet ready to come out.

Exhale by themandylion (Presumed Dead | 5K | Not Rated): Buck’s Jeep gets stolen, which is a pretty shitty way to start the day. The 118 answer a collision and find said Jeep on fire, a deceased driver inside, which is arguably an even worse way to start the day.

Give Us The Grown by fruitsdoesnotknow (Getting Together | 8K | Teen): Buck starts leaving notes for Eddie. Eddie writes notes for Buck right back. They were always going to end up writing their own love story.

the tiniest moves you make by allyasavedtheday/ @littlespoonevan (Maddie POV | 8K | Teen): Five times Buck talks to Maddie about Eddie intercut with five times Eddie talks to Maddie about Buck and one time they manage to figure it out on their own.

why do i always feel like i'm in the twilight zone by chromatophorica/ @chromatophorica (Supernatural AU | 6K | General): The 118 is a prolific, all supernatural station. They face the hardest of calls for this reason, but they're curious about what species Buck is from the start. When they find out, it's a complex navigation to keep him where he belongs.

drink up (you're wasted on me) by okanus (S7E6, Bachelor Party, Infidelity, PWP | 9K | Explicit): Or: Eddie and Buck hook up at the bachelor party. Difficulties ensue.

gone fishing by coldbam/ @coldbam (Accidental Catfishing, Getting Together | 9K | Mature): “Someone is catfishing as you.” His eyes are wide and his face is serious. Stressed. Eddie has no idea what he’s talking about. “What?” Buck slows down and carefully says each word. “Someone's using stolen photos of you on a dating app. Pretending to be you.” He looks miserable, like it pains him to deliver this news. Eddie’s face must still show confusion, because Buck lets out a frustrated huff and then shoves his phone right in front of his face. “Look.” And. Shit. Buck’s phone shines brightly in the evening light of the loft, and there, nearly blinding him, is his own Tinder profile.

�� It's a church of burnt romances (and I'm too far gone to pray) by justhockey (Coming Out, Post-S7E5 | 15K | Mature): Eddie looks back, sifting through the ashes of every relationship he’s ever had that has burned to the ground. And his hands shake, and his heart beats too fast, and it’s there, right on the tip of his tongue. It’s close enough that he could reach out and touch it if he were brave enough. The reason, that no matter how hard he tried - no matter how much he wanted to, or how often he literally prayed for it - his relationships with women have never worked out. And he knows. Knows that no amount of women, or trying, or praying will ever be able to change it. You can’t fix what isn’t broken, and Eddie isn’t broken. He isn’t. He’s just…well. He’s in love with Buck, isn’t he?

🔥 The Pain Will Leave You Once It's Done Teaching You by fruitsdoesnotknow (Canon Divergent, Daniel Lives-kinda | 40K | Mature): When Daniel Buckley lives a little longer, Evan Buckley dies a little more. And this is how Eddie Diaz saves him, a little later on.

🔥what if i can't have us by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (Post-S7E5, Getting Together, Sexuality Crisis | 47K Explicit): In which Eddie is dating Marisol; Buck's dating Tommy, and Eddie has feelings about that, which he simply does. not. understand.

WIP

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 127/? | 397K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 change the prophecy by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Alternate Timeline, Curse/Magic | 9/11 | 22K | Mature): Buck has never felt secure in any of his relationships; he’s been searching for someone to see him the way he feels he’s meant to be seen, but after things start going downhill with Tommy, he thinks that person might just not exist. Eddie cannot figure out what’s wrong with him when it becomes clear things with Marisol aren’t going to work out. But what if they’re both forgetting something?

🔥 stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong by Daffi_990_ao3/ @daffi-990 (Canon Divergent, Different First Meeting | 4/10 | 31K | Not Rated): Probational Firefighters Evan “Buck” Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other. As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddie’s dismay and Buck’s delight. Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?

What’s Your Order? by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy | 4/6 | 10K | Teen): 5 Times Buck Guessed Tommy’s Coffee Order + 1 Time He Didn’t Have To

Held Up a Lightning Rod (Wonder Why I'm Struck) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Not A Firefighter Eddie, Sugar Baby Buck | 1/? | 5K | Explicit): When Eddie Diaz stumbles his way into money, he finds himself one of the most eligible bachelors in Los Angeles - to his dismay. He needs a way to get people off his back without confessing his messy marital situation, and Shannon's still not answering his calls, so he caves to a friend's suggestion: hire someone to pretend to be his partner. Enter Evan "Buck" Buckley: sugar baby, fire fighter, and the man about to turn Eddie's world upside down.

Podfic

🔥 [Podfic] When the Lost are Found by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for ReformedTsundere/ @film-in-my-soul (Soulmates AU | 20-30 min | General): When everyone seems to have a better soulmate identifying system, Buck can't help but consider his own to be lackluster. How's he meant to find his soulmate with loose change and mismatched socks after all?

🔥 [podfic] Trade-In by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for themandylion (Post-S4, Getting Together | 1-1.5h | Not Rated): It starts with Buck trading in his beloved Jeep. It ends with a confession, a kiss, and Buck trading in his apartment too. Or: If you didn't think Buck research binges wouldn't eventually take him to safety specs for his car, you don't know Buck.

🔥 [podfic] my heart’s over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 1-1.5h | Teen): or, a fever, a party, a late night tv show: three times eddie’s heart falls out his ass because buck keeps looking at him like that. he’s just got to find a way to tell him that doesn’t involve a convoluted cephalopod analogy about love

🔥 [Podfic] Tell Me About Despair by radpaisley // fic by @hattalove (Post-S4, Sexuality Crisis | 1/5 | 2-2.5h | Mature): eddie's not entirely sure he believes in getting help, at least not for himself. there's only so much healing to be had for a body torn apart by bullets, for a mind that's only half there, for a man who's been leaving pieces of himself behind all his life with nothing to take their place. except, as it turns out, falling apart happens in increments, and healing does, too: it happens when you gnaw a hole in your lip trying to keep quiet only to have the words escape; when you realize that the ghost you've been seeing out of the corner of your eye is yourself; when your best friend smiles, and you allow it to take your breath away. it happens through the smallest of things: bird feeders, and cacti, and pasta shapes. meanwhile, the world goes on.

#epic buddie fic rec #buddie fanfic #buddie fic rec #buddie fanfiction #buddie fic

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trippinsorrows · 1 day

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with me + part one

authors note: well, i got some type of writers block working on two other RR wip's so opened a new google doc and ended up with this. prob gonna be 3 parts, maybe 4. there's an almost five year time jump after this one, can you guess why? also, joe's wife is an oc, not galina.

first time posting my roman writings on here and trying not to freak out tbh

warnings: angst, infidelity, language, suggestive content

song inspo: with me by destiny's child

word count: 4,000

You know that assignment everyone at some point in their education where they research what they want to be when they grow up and share it with the whole class for a grade? Yeah, that big mammoth of a question that somehow you’re supposed to have confidently answered before even reaching double digits.

That was always super easy for you.

From as far back as you can remember, you wanted to be a teacher. It took until you were in middle school, almost high school for you to settle on an elementary school teacher, college for a specific grade. But, the teaching profession always called to you.

You chalk it up to your grandmother, undoubtedly one of your favorite people in this entire world. She was also an elementary school teacher who taught until she was expectedly called home when you were 14. Some part of you wonders if you’ve never even allowed yourself to entertain any other professions because of her loss. She was your best friend, and following in her footsteps was wanted but also felt somewhat necessary. Like you had to in order to honor her and her legacy.

A couple years into your career, you still think about that, how you’ve known from such a young age what you wanted to do with your life. Well, one part.

In other areas, maybe the most important areas, you were lost as all of the outdoors. Mostly in one area, if you’re being honest, and truthfully, it’s not even what you want in as much as it is how you get there. The path is relatively simple: find a man, fall in love, get married, have babies, live happily ever after.

It’s such a stereotypical trajectory, but one you’ve also envisioned for yourself since your late teens. You’d gotten partying all out of your system during the early college years, somewhat in high school as well. Now in your mid 20s, soon to be late 20s, all you want to do is prepare to eventually settle down. Sooner rather than later.

And the issue isn’t even having no prospects. You have a prospect, he’s just unavailable.

Because he’s already fucking married.

But can you even call him a prospect when that implies there’s some chance? Because there’s zero chance. You know this. You know this very well, too well. So why you still allow him into your bed and inside of you is beyond you. Yes, the sex is out of this world, but you desire more than that. Maybe not at first, but almost three years deep into this arrangement, most definitely.

You still think back to your first meeting.

Your best friend won a contest that not only granted her two front row tickets to a Smackdown show but backstage passes as well. You met so many wrestlers that night, some you grew up watching on TV as the little tomboy that you were as a kid. But, it was one wrestler in particular: tall, muscular, hair more beautiful and silky than any silk press your beautician mother could ever style, that changed your life. Whether for better or worse remains to be seen.

He was attractive, extremely, possibly one of the most beautiful men you’d ever met. But, the attraction was short-lived when you spotted the wedding band on his left hand. You’d be lying if you tried to say that was when the attraction sizzled out. It diminished, but it was still there. Still, you didn’t think much of it, that was until you received a call from a number on your phone that you didn't recognize.

Why you even accepted the call is still a mystery. You never answered random calls, yet that one was an exception, an exception that resulted in you having an unexpected phone conversation with Roman fucking Reigns. He explained that he got your number from your friend who’d exchanged contact information with a wrestler she met that night as well. They were messing around too, that much you knew. And good for her. He, unlike Roman, was not married and therefore free to fuck around.

The conversation lasted much longer than it needed to, especially given the flirtatious nature it quickly took on. It was wrong, you knew this well, very well. He took vows, but you were also aware of those vows. And heat no point pressured you into anything, you could have cut it off. Flirtatious he was, but forceful he was not.

The conversations increased in frequency and length over a matter of weeks that turned into months, and before you knew it, your day started and ended with either a text or phone call from the wrestler.

A small part of you knew that it would eventually escalate into more, a man like him seemed like he needed more. But, you stupidly tried to tell yourself that when that time came, you would remain strong and draw the line in the sand with just communication. Even if it was just as wrong as anything else.

It was a silly thought.

Your resolve was weak.

You absolutely did not need to accept his invitation to fly you out to one of his shows, and you damn sure didn’t need to allow him to take you back to his hotel where your legs ended up wrapped around his waist as he pounded into you—among other things—until the early hours of the morning.

The days after that were rough. You felt absolutely disgusted with yourself. It was one thing to flirt with a married man, but it was an entirely different thing to fuck a married man. He wasn’t yours. He belonged to someone else. He had a life with some other woman. You had no right to insert yourself into that union, so you decided to sever contact with him, deleting his number from your phone and shoving the experience in the ‘biggest regret of your life’ box with no intention of reopening it.

Unfortunately for you, Roman, Joe, as he asked you to call him, was a persistent bastard.

You ignored his texts, so he called. You ignored his calls, so he texted. You ignored both, and this motherfucker showed up at your goddamn door. There were multiple times you could have and should have ended things, that being another perfect opportunity. If you told him to leave that night, not allowed him into your apartment, he would have listened. He was stubborn and resolute but also respectful. If you told him to leave, really told him, he would have done so.

But, you didn’t. You allowed him into your place and similar to the last time you were in his presence, ended up spread out on your bed with him balls deep inside you until you couldn’t feel your lower half.

Now, fast forward three years later, not much has changed. You two don’t communicate quite as much in the day, and his visits are more spread out given the company’s current efforts at pushing him as the new face of the company. But, that doesn’t stop his visits to come see you and flights he puts you on to come see him, both of which always end with him leaving your legs jelly and throat raw.

All the while his wife sits at home unaware of her husband’s consistent residence between your legs.

The thought alone makes you sick, revolted at yourself, at how you’ve allowed yourself to reach this point in life. Closer to 30 than 20 and going on 3 years of being a mistress to a married man, a man who can never give you the future you want yet refuse to let go.

Not that you’d ever allow yourself to really acknowledge why.

That’s….that’s just too much.

________

Pillow talk was just something that naturally happened between the two of you. It made sense given that your relationship started out with just talking. He seemed interested in knowing more about you, about your likes and dislikes. He shared his as well. You weren’t beyond admitting that Joe was insanely easy to talk to, the flow of conversation always natural, never forced. There never seemed to be a dry spot between you two.

And whether it was an innate ability to pick up on the emotions of others or just his, you could always tell when something was bothering him, could see when he came to you with a burden he didn’t want to discuss.

Not that that stopped you from asking. If he declined to talk about it, you respected it, didn’t push. But, more often than not, he would end up sharing things with you, mostly concerns regarding his career.

It seemed he visioned one thing for himself, while Vince McMahon saw another. He felt frustrated at times, especially when the fanbase started pushing back more. He never admitted as such, but you could see it hurt his feelings. How could it not? Kayfabe or not, Joe was still a real person with real feelings, regardless of the role he played.

And at some point, his visits to see you stopped always involving sex. That happened majority of the time, but there were occasions when he just seemed like he needed someone to be around, a distraction, someone to talk to.

Someone like you.

“Come on.” You jumped up off the couch and offered your hand that he looked at with disinterest. “Don’t make me drag your big ass. It’ll probably break my back.” He lifts his brow, and you roll your eyes. “Joe, come onnnn.”

“Where are we going?” He finally asks, all the while sighing heavily and standing up. Though unnecessary at this point, he still takes your hand. You try not to think too much of the gentle squeeze he gives.

“To my kitchen.”

Glancing over, he gestures with his thumb. “The place that’s like 3 feet away.”

You suck your teeth and shove against him. “Don’t be an ass. We’re gonna bake cookies.”

“Bake?”

“That’s what I said.” Though clearly skeptical, he follows you into the kitchen and watches as you start gathering supplies. “I spent a lot of summers with my grandma, and whenever either of us were having a bad day, she’d take us into the kitchen and we’d bake chocolate chip cookies. She’d always say there’s nothing a good chocolate morsel can’t cure.”

Reflecting on those memories, so fond and cherished, brings a despondent smile to your face.

His eyes fall on you, sensing the sudden sadness. “You miss her.”

“Every day….” Shaking your head, you make a conscious effort to not make this about you and your grief. “Now, we need music.” You settle on some random “cookout” playlist that aids in setting the playful mood. To your surprise, yet not surprise, Joe keeps up without struggle. He's a fast learner, easily following along to your detailed instructions and explanations. Things get messy at times, as one does when baking, but it only causes the two of you to share laughter. Especially when you ‘accidentally’ get flour on each other. For you, it was an accident. His was definitely intentional.

Still, between the laughter, light conversation, and New Edition serving as backdrop, it’s a sweet moment.

“And now we wait,” you announce, plopping down on the sofa. “Wrestler by day, baker by night. Who’d a thunk it?”

He chuckles. “I never knew you could cook.”

At that, you nearly choke on the water bottle you’d grabbed off the coffee table. “Me? Cook? No. Not at all. There’s a reason every thanksgiving, my family only asks me to bring the drinks. My mom is the cook. Grandma was the baker. I can make cookies and a few select items. That’s it.”

You can still hear your grandma’s voice in the back of your head, chiding you for never allowing your mom to teach you how to cook. It just never garnered your interest, even when they swore up and down you’d never find a husband without knowing how.

Maybe they were right.

He joins you in the living room, settling on the other end of the sofa. “Maybe I could teach you then.”

His words—and offer—suprise you. “You can cook?”

“Don’t look so surprised.” He rolls his blue eyes. Some days you love the contacts, others you hate them. Today is a love day. They make his beauty even more exquisite. “Because of the big age difference between me and my siblings, it was just me and my mom a lot of times. They were either out and about or had either moved out. She’d ask me to help her out in the kitchen, and I picked up on a couple things.”

“You’re a fast learner.” That much is very obvious, in several areas of his life. “Was it ever hard? Like, not really having them around?”

He seems to think about her question before answering. “Yes and no. The twins moved to Florida when I was like three, and we became close instantly. It was like suddenly having two new brothers. Obviously, they didn’t live with us, so they weren’t always around, and those times were hard, I guess. But the older we got, the more we did together.”

The Usos. Also wrestlers trying to make names for themselves. He really does hail from a legendary dynasty. “I get that. It was just me and my mom, and she worked a lot to support us, so that’s why I spent so much time with my grandma. And I loved it, but sometimes it got lonely not really having siblings.” You look over at him, studying this massive specimen of a man who seems so unsure of himself right now, unsure of his future. He’d hinted at such during their prep, but you bookmarked the comment to revisit. “It’s all gonna work out, you know.”

His gaze is on you, partially disinterested, mostly in disagreement. Joe knows what you're referring to. He chuckles, darkly, “you sound sure.”

“I am,” you counter calmly. Moving to sit on your knees, you continue, “no matter what it takes, you make them respect you. You can do it, and when you finally find your footing, you’ll be one of the best to ever do it. Mark my words.”

You’ve never been one to build up false hopes in anyone, far too familiar with the sting of disappointment. So every word leaving your mouth drips with sincerity. Joe is so much more than a “pretty face” or someone who got lucky by being born into a wrestling dynasty with a golden spoon in his mouth. He’s worked his ass off, you see how he works his ass off, so the last thing you’d want to witness is him become his own worst enemy by getting too into his head.

“You’ll see. They boo now, but pretty soon they’ll be cheering.” Moving to your knees, you lift your arms in a theatrical display. “Roman, Roman, Roman.” You yelp when his strong arms pull you into his lap, legs spread on either side of his thick thighs. “Would you let me hype you up? Like, damn.”

His smile, so beautiful and genuine, warms your soul. His spirits are lifted, and that’s all that matters. Joe’s hands are on your hips, palms massaging you through your shorts. You move your arms around his neck, resting on his strong shoulders “Thank you.”

It’s at this moment, you foolishly allow yourself to wonder. Wonder what it would be like for this to be the norm, for him to always return to your place when he has time off or in between shows. Wonder what it would be like to consistently be this safe space for him, to be in his corner and not just in the shadows, but in the light. To be supporting him ringside. To be his.

And for a second, you pretend. You pretend that you are his, and he’s yours. That this is your man, and you’re his girl. Just the two of you. Nobody else.

But the comedown from that is devastating, like a boulder sitting on your chest, a butcher knife to your heart. Because he isn’t yours. He never was, and he never will be.

Mood sullen, you lower your arms to separate yourself. “I should…” You clear your throat, climbing off of him. The air is suddenly too stuffy, the room too small. You need space. “I should go check on the cookies.”

Joe’s not stupid, far from it. You know that he has to pick up on your 180 in mood, yet he doesn’t pursue you, doesn’t ask questions, and you’re thankful for that. You need to not be around him right now, not so close, not so connected, not so in love.

You need to let him go. ________

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Joe’s in the midst of sliding his shirt over his head, sitting on the edge of the bed when your voice, low and quiet, stops him mid movement. “What?”

“I said.” You blow out a big breath, unsure why your chest suddenly feels so heavy. “I can’t do this anymore.”

At that, he angles his body so that he can look at you, assess your face. He’s a big eye contact person. “What are you talking about?”

Irritation piques. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Joe.” Gesturing between the two of you, you kick the blankets off and quickly reach for your t-shirt that got discarded last night. Being naked in front of him suddenly feels uncomfortable. “This. It’s done.”

He pauses for a second and then shakes his head, resuming his dressing. “Okay.”

His tone is dismissive, like he doesn’t believe you. Like he thinks you’re playing around. Of course he would be in one of those moods, where he’s more irritable, less receptive and fucking stubborn. “I’m serious.”

“I’m not doing this shit with you right now.” Joe gets up and continues dressing himself, prompting you to climb out of bed and move in front of him.

He can’t avoid his way out of this. You won’t allow it. It’s time to finally rip the bandaid off.

You’ve sat on this for the last two weeks, since he last left your apartment and you realized you’d stupidly allowed yourself to fall for this man. Fall for a man who walks around with a wedding ring on his left hand, who’s always had that wedding ring from the moment you met him. You’re not upset with him, not as much as you’re upset with yourself.

You grew up the product of an affair, felt the stinging pain of being rejected by a parent whose selfishness resulted in the creation of life, a life he wanted no part of. Seen how your mom literally begged your piece of shit father to be in your life, to play some role. Heard how he cruelly rejected her, rejected you, calling you your mother’s bastard. A mistake.

It devastated you so deeply that you still can’t really talk about it without getting emotional.

And yet, you idiotically found yourself playing the same role you used to judge your mother for: the other woman.

It’s a role you stepped in, and one you must now step out of.

“There’s nothing to do.” You run your hands over your face and shake your head. Choosing to have this conversation at almost 4 o’clock in the morning probably wasn’t the best move, but you also know that if you give yourself more time, you’ll find a reason not to do it. And you need to do this. “You have a wife, Joe. A whole ass woman who loves you and would probably let you fuck her just as much as you like to fuck me. Go be with her, and if not her, find someone else, cause I won’t be that for you. Not anymore.”

You’re not exactly sure what part of what you just said registered with him, but it’s obvious something did by the change of tone he takes. “Where is this coming from?”

“It’s coming from where it should have come a long time ago,” you answer, crossing your arms over your body. “This was never right, and I refuse to partake in it anymore. I won’t be your whore anymore.”

You didn’t expect hurt to flash in his beautiful eyes nor for him to move closer to you, that hurt intensifying when you back away. He can’t touch you. You can’t allow that, because all it takes is only touch, one longing gaze, and you’ll be putty in his hands. This has to end. “Is that really what you think you are to me?”

“I don’t know what I am to you, Joe,” you answer, honestly. It’s something you’ve battled back and forth with for nearly three years. Just what is it about you that keeps him coming back, keeps him in your bedroom, inside of you. At face value, it’s the sexual compatibility between you. Below the surface level though, there’s maybe more. You’ve never allowed yourself to venture there, and you’re certainly not about to right now. You know how you feel about him, but you refuse to really ask yourself how he feels about you. “And truthfully, it doesn’t matter, cause it doesn’t change anything.”

“So, that’s just it?” His voice is wounded, handsome face painted into a mixture of scowl and a frown. “Almost three years, and you want to throw it all away, for what?”

“For what…..Joe, you are married. You have a whole wife at home. Whatever issues you have that cause you to step out, work that shit out. Learn how to be with her. Cause I’m not doing it any more. I—I can’t.” Emotion imbues your voice toward the end, and you hate that shit. You don’t want him to see, to know, how much this has been eating you up as of lately. “I’m gonna be 30 in a few years. I want to be married. I want to have a family. I deserve that, and I’ll never have it as long as I’m messing with you, so I’ve gotta let you go.” You swallow the deep lump in the back of your throat. “And you’ve gotta let me go.”

This time, this time you can see the part that wounds him, that digs into his chest. You’ve gotta let me go.

Joe is fast, fast enough to move directly in front of you, large hands holding your face. He says your name, desperate almost. “Tell me what to do, tell me what you want, and I’ll do it. Just….” He stops, and you close your eyes, refusing to see if it’s his own emotions coming up. You can barely handle your own cascade of feelings right now and refuse to take on his. “I can’t lose you.”

What you want…..

What you want is for him to never leave. What you want is for him to stay with you, to be with you. What you want is for him to have never met Jadah, never married her, never committed his life to her.

What you want is for him to be yours and only yours, but what you want….is also what you can never have.

“I—I want you to leave, Joe.” The words burn your lips, scorch your throat, ache your soul. “And this time….don’t come back.”

You can’t bring yourself to open your eyes, to see the result of your heartbreaking, even if honest request. It’s because you know seeing him hurt will only cause your resolve to crumble, and you can’t have that. You have to be strong, have to be the woman your mother couldn't.

So, you remain there, remain silent as he steps away from you, his touch vanishing. There’s such an emptiness in his wake.

It’s only when you hear the front door of your apartment shut that you finally feel it, the caving of your stomach, the heavy lump move from the back of your throat, the release of the loud sob you didn’t realize you’d been keeping at bay.

It’s when you finally allow yourself to feel all of the emotions of a woman who just told the only man she’s ever loved to leave.

If only you knew his departure was just the beginning of the rest of your life.

#roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns x black!reader #black writers #wwe #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns fic #arisnotebook

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funnyjb · 1 day

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Mama

………………………………….

It’s Friday night and instead of going out with friends like you usually do on Friday nights, you were at home taking care of your new bundle of joy. Emma came into yours and Joes lives just about last week. April 8 at 6:21pm was when Emma was born. Joe and yourself couldn’t be more happier to have her in your lives.

Joe is such an amazing father. You would walk into her nursery and see him leaning over her baby basket.

You were in the bathroom getting ready for bed. You were exhausted. Getting up in the middle of the night every single night, feeding her 24/7, taking care of her when she cries, and not getting any sleep wasn’t helping. You were in your pjs putting on your moisturizer when Joe walked in. He looked tired too. He just put down emma for the second time and was ready to get to bed. He could tell you were a little off because you didn’t get any sleep.

“Hey.”- joe

You looked up at him through the mirror

“Hey, is she asleep?”- you

“Yeah, finally.”- joe

He walked over to the sink next to you and started turning on the sink.

“Are you ok? I know it’s been a crazy week.”- joe

“I’m fine Joe. Everything is fine.”- you

The truth was everything isn’t really fine. You loved emma and Joe, but postpartum is hitting you hard. You are so tired, you don’t feel right in your own body, and as said before no sleep doesn’t help.

“No it isn’t y/n, I can tell.”- joe

“Joe, seriously I’m not in the mood right now.”- you

You closed your skincare bottles, wiped your hands on the towel and headed out the bathroom.

Joe was a little mad that you weren’t saying what you needed to say but he understood. He knows you don’t really like talking about your feelings and he knows to give you some space when you need some. After he was done in the bathroom which was a couple minutes later and he came out into the bedroom where you were. You were folding some clothes and putting them on the chair next to his side of the bed.

“Y/n, you need to tell me what’s going on. I know something is up. I know that you are tired, but I want to make sure you are ok. I love you and I want to know what is going on in my wife’s mind.”- Joe said calmly

“You what to know what is going one Joe?”- you said turning around with an unfolded onesie in your hands

“Yeah, I do.”- Joe

“Alright, here let me tell you. I am tired, Joe. So dang tired. I’ve been woken up probably four-hundred times this past week because emma is crying or she is hungry. And you have been such a big help and I am so, so, so grateful, but I am so dam tired. I don’t feel like myself. My body has changed for a good reason, but I don’t feel right. I’ve been feeding her 24/7 and my body hurts. And no sleep isn’t helping. So there you go, Joe. Is that what you were looking for?”- you

It stayed silent for a minute.

“I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry it’s been hard on you. I know taking care of a baby is a lot of work especially for a mother, but you are a great mama to our beautiful baby sleeping in the other room. You are so strong, y/n. You are beautiful. In my eyes you are beautiful. You are the only gorgeous, beautiful, strong, and amazing loving girl I know.”- joe

He walked up to you. Joe put his hands on the side of your face.

“I love you, y/n. I love you so much it hurts. And our baby is the luckiest baby in the world, you know why?”- joe

“Why?”- you laugh

“Because she gets to call you her mom.”- Joe

Your eyes started to get teary.

“Everything is going to be ok.”- joe

He pulled you into him and kissed your forehead then your lips. You wrapped your arms around his body and held him tight. Some tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Shh, it’s ok baby.”- Joe

You wiped your tears and smiled

“Thank you, Joe. You are the best husband a girl could ask for and an amazing father to our little girl. She is one lucky baby to be calling you her daddy.”- you smiled

Joe smiled and kissed you.

“Thank you, baby. Ready to go to bed?”- joe

“Yeah.”- you

Joe walked to his side as you walked over to yours. You turned off your lamp and got under the covers. The dark room was quiet. Joe pulled you into him and held you tight.

“I love you, y/n Burrow.”- Joe

“I love you too, Joe burrow.”- you

————————————————————————

(Next morning)

You woke up to the smell of pancakes. You turned over to see Joe, but was no where to be found. Then you turned over to your side table to check the time.

“11:00!”- you

You pulled the cover off you and put your Ugg’s on.

You walked down the stairs as carefully as you could because you were still recovering. As you walked off the last step of the stairs you saw your family and Joes family too.

“Oh, there she is!”- your mom

“Hi!”- you said crossing your arms against your chest

You walked over to your mom and gave her a kiss.

“Hey, sweetie!”- Robin

“Hi!”- you

“All of us just wanted to see how you and the rest of the family were doing!”- Robin

“Aww that’s very sweet, but we are doing good!”- you

“How are you doing though?”- Robin said in kind of a whisper

“I’m doing ok, thank you.”- you said giving her a sweet smile

You then said good morning to your dad and Jimmy. Then came over to Joe.

“Good morning!”- Joe

“Good morning.”- you smiled

He gave you a sweet kiss.

“How are you?”- joe

“I’m good, doing ok!”- you

“How are you?”- you

“I’m good! Just making breakfast for you!”- Joe

“Aww Joe, that’s so sweet, thank you.”- you

“Of course!”- joe

“Hey, where is em?”- you

“Oh, she just went down for her nap.” Should be up soon. - your mom

“Oh, ok.”- you

Just as you spoke the baby monitor turned on. Emma was crying. You could tell it was a hungry cry.

“I will get her.”- Joe

“”It’s ok Joe, I got her. I can tell she is hungry.”-you

“You sure?”- joe

“Yeah, it’s ok baby. I will be back in a few!”- you

“Ok.”- joe

You then stared walking up the stairs and into Emma’s nursery.

“Hey, baby!”- you

You picked her up.

“Shh, shh, it’s ok. It’s ok, baby girl.”- you

You the sat down on the rocking chair to feed her. You pulled done your sweater on one of your sides and started feeding her.

“You are so precious.”- you

A few moments pasted by and you were still admiring how pretty she is.

“I love you em. Your father and I love you so much.”- you

You the stared to feel teary

“I’m sorry em. I’m just tired. Even though I slept in very late today. Jeez, why am I so tired?”- you

You chuckle at the exhaustion that is hitting you. You don’t know why though. You slept in so why are you so tired you thought.

You wiped some of your tears so your family wouldn’t see you were crying when you got downstairs. Emma was done feeding so you put her back in her crib and switched off the lights to let her get some more sleep.

You walked down the stairs to find your family sitting in the same place. The monitor was a little more close to them. It looked like they were listening in.

“Hey.”- you

They all looked at you.

Your mom got up and hugged you tight. You were a little confused at first but the you caught on. They were listening in on you in Emma’s room.

“How about we take emma for the day? Give you and Joe some time to relax and rest. How does that sound?”- your mom

You looked at Joe then back at your mom.

“Um, yeah sure.”- you

“Ok, we can pack a bag when she wakes up.”- your mom

You nod your head.

You walked over to Joe

“I’m going to go um… wash up.”- you

“Okay. Your breakfast is done, so it’s here is you want it”- Joe

“Thanks.”- you

You kissed him on the lips and went up.

“Oh honey, how long has she been like that?”- Robin

“She has been off for a bit but she talked to me about everything last night. I just don’t want her feeling this way. It hurts to see her like this.”- joe

“I know sweetie, but that why maybe you need a day just the both of you to yourselves.”- Robin

——————————————————————-

“Bye!”- you

You closed the door and went over to the kitchen. You already got dressed for the day. Which was the first time you weren’t in your pjs in over a week. You decided to clean some baby bottles and put them in the dishwasher.

Joe came walking in with his beautiful smile plastered on his face.

“Hey, burrow!” You smiled

“Hey, Mrs Burrow! What are you doing?”- Joe

He then sat down on one of three kitchen stools.

“Well, I’m cleaning. I wanted to get it out of the way.”- You

“Well how about you come relax. You need it, y/n.”- joe smiled

“When I’m finished. I’m almost done!”- you

“Okay.”- Joe

Joe stayed there talking to you about upcoming projects and practices he has going on. It was nice to talk to him that wasn’t all baby related. Even though you love your sweet emma. It has just been a lot this past week and you needed a break from it.

After cleaning you decided to watch a movie with Joe. Both of you decided on Mr and Mrs Smith.

“Want to order something to eat?”- Joe

“Sure!”-you

“How about..”- Joe

“Sushi!”- you

“That’s what I was thinking!”- Joe

“Well, great minds think alike!”- you

He then pulled you in for a sweet kiss.

“I love you.”- Joe

“Love you too.”- you

“Ok, let’s order.”- Joe

You laughed and told him what you wanted.

You were so grateful to have such an amazing husband. He is a great father to your beautiful daughter. A new chapter just opened for you and Joe and you couldn’t wait to explore it with the man you love.

————————————————————————-

Authors note: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! This goes out to all the mothers! It’s can be hard sometimes but always remember that people love and care about you!🩷

#joe burrow #writers on tumblr #joe burrow imagine #joey burrow #cincinnati bengals

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nereidprinc3ss · 3 days

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Hello, the one anon who said Spencer wasn’t an ass based on your preview….and….

I still don’t think he is! I am SO PROUD OF HIM!!!

Obviously Derek is the only actually correct one here (well and Randall who I loved. Imaging him as a slightly crusty war vet who means well but just is too gruff and rough to come across well. His wife bakes pies and has a rose garden in my mind) -

BUT, if you pretend to not know readers side, what Spencer says is perfect. Seriously I am so amazed at how well you articulate complicated emotions!!

Spencer had to grow up to take on adult responsibilities at age 10. He isn’t the best at communicating (v obvious right now), but he also is trying. He’s doing his best to do what’s right - and to him, reader is acting like a child lashing out - saying one thing, doing another. He can’t read her mind - all this is doing to him is proving he loves someone who doesn’t love him. (Again - which has to be the worst part. Like come on, dude admitted he loved the first girl he slept with and she didn’t love him. Now he’s in basically the same situation minus the actual intercourse and that has to hurt. It has to make him think something’s wrong with him) So he uses his words as a defense.

Could he have been nicer? Definitely. But his points, while ruder than normal for him, were accurate. (Seriously - cannot exclaim enough how amazed I am at your skill in writing conflicting emotions and view points).

ON THE FLIP SIDE —

Poor, poor reader. Trying to ignore what we know about Spencer - to only think how reader is thinking. That for the very first time, they’ve fallen in love - only to not be loved in return. The very feeling Spencer describes for himself - the feeling he wants her to avoid ever having.

Then she thinks that Spencer is angry at her for loving him, that something has to be wrong with her for him to not want her love. And she doesn’t have the experience or confidence to say what she thinks - so she pouts and ices him out, trying to leave so he can’t leave her first.

Two idiots in love. Absolute giant idiots.

Derek’s the only sane one right now - and that never happens. He’s right that Spencer can be, well… a cunt. But he’s also right that reader doesn’t understand how icy and sharp her claws are.

Ugh, I seriously read this when you released it and then had to step away before typing this message because I was worked up. Part of me really hopes it is reader who confesses first - and then they both grovel to each other. But I also know however you write it will be exactly right - and I’m looking forward to reading everything you post!!

Thank you, for starting and continuing this little series. Astounding! I need more words to describe how lovely this all is!

— 🌌

GUYSSS you all NEED TO READ THIS im serious!!! anon you get it!!! if you guys read part five as if you DONT know whats going inside readers head and try looking at it from spencer’s pov this is all very real. that’s not to say he was in the right for being unkind but he thought she was genuinely just being incredibly brutally unkind for no reason and he asked her to stop because he doesn’t want to breakup but he can’t handle being treated like that forever. thank you for verbalizing these things so i dont have to and thank you for reading🩷🩷 you are so sweet!! im glad the emotional components came through well for you!!

#asks

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madi-writes-things · 6 hours

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Partners In Crime

Summary:

Matt leads a dangerous life, and his wife is keeping one hell of a secret. What happens when she almost loses her chance to tell him?

Word Count: 738

TW: Angst with happy ending, hurt/comfort, near death experience, guns, mafia, hidden pregnancy

A/N: This fic is a submission for the Bratzfornick141 writing contest!!! Hosted by @bratzforchris & @nicksbestie (Angst, Mafia X Goody, Taking Care Of Each Other, Hiding a Big Secret)

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

I stare down at two pink lines on the bathroom counter, as I realize that I don’t know what to do. I love Matt so much, and I know he wants a family together… but it’s not safe with the work that he does. He does his best to protect me from it, but I know I’m always in danger. I know that he would leave it all behind to start a family with me, but I can’t ask him to leave behind the life he built with his brothers.

I’ll just wait until the time is right, and then I’ll tell him. Whatever he decides is going to be okay.

“”“”“”“”“”

Three Weeks Later

I quickly walk through the warehouse, towards my husband’s office. He hates it when I visit him at work, but this is too important to wait. I understand his hesitation with letting me into this part of his life… he just doesn’t want to risk me getting hurt, but there’s no way I let him out of my sight for too long. I’m constantly worried that something will happen to him, but there’s no way that he would leave the empire that he built from the ground up.

“what are you doing here?” He’s already annoyed. I had no choice but come to him, since he refused to come home early. “You know I hate it when you come here, I can’t let anything happen to you baby.”

“I have to tell you something…” All of the sudden it’s like the words refuse to leave my mouth. I didn’t mean to hide it from him for so long, but we’ve seen each other for a total of one hour over the last two weeks… I can’t keep a secret like this anymore. “Matt… I’m p-” all of the sudden I’m getting pushed to the ground by my husband.

I hear it, before I see the reason. It’s all so sudden. The guards tackle a man with a gun in his hand. Then it clicks.

“MATT!” He’s toppling to the floor, and I barely stop his head from hitting the ground.

no.

nononononononono.

this isn’t happening… this can’t be real… wake up!

my husband lays with his head in my lap, gasping for air and wincing in pain. The black button up that he wear is slowly turning a dark shade of maroon.

I place my hand directly under his left rib and push down hard. “MNPHH… Did he hit you?!?!” Matt reaches up to my shoulder trying to decipher whether I was hurt or not.

“No, I’m okay…” suddenly there are guards pulling Matt away from me, and escorting us to a blacked out car. Once we’re in the backseat, I tear open Matt’s shirt…

there’s so much blood…

Shit.

all of the sudden everything starts spinning, as I feel the bile rising in my throat. I quickly reach for my purse and dump it out, before emptying the contents of my stomach into it. I quickly zip it up and turn back to Matt, taking his shirt off completely and using it to apply pressure to the wound. He’s squirming away from my touch, but I can’t stop applying pressure… I can’t lose him.

“I know baby… I know it hurts, but you’re going to be okay… you have to be okay.” I’ve never seen Matt so pale.

why won’t the blood stop?

”it’s o… okay, I love you so much ma, a…and I know that you will be oka- okay, no matter what happens.” He gasps for air. This can’t be real.

“NO!” He looks at me, this time less scared of death, and more scared of me. “You aren’t allowed to die…” he tries to argue again, but I cut him off. “NO, You aren’t allowed to make me a single mother!” I choke on my tears as I say it, and it feels like something in Matt’s eyes changes.

“okay… I won’t leave you alone.” He says softly.

we finally arrive at the safe house after what feels like hours, and they sweep Matt away to get him to emergency surgery. Nick and Chris arrive shortly after.

“WHAT HAPPENED?!?!” Nick screams as he runs up to me. I flinch back at his volume. Chris gently grabs my arm, in an attempt to comfort me.

“it’s all my fault… he pushed me out of the way, and I couldn’t stop him… I think it was someone who works for y’all, the guard tackled him… it was supposed to be me.” I devolved into sobs and apologies, as Chris and Nick hold me. We sit like that for what feels like an eternity.

“”“”“”“”“”

when they finally allow visitors, Chris and Nick tell me to go first. I nearly burst into tears when I see Matt, fragile and tangled in wires.

“Hey, ma… or should I say Mama?” With that I run to his side sobbing. He manages to adjust himself so that I can lay with him. I fall asleep peacefully with him next to me, knowing that our little family will be okay.

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann @jnkvivi

#bratzfornick’s 141 writing challenge #madi writes things #matthew bernard sturniolo #major character injury #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo fanfiction #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo imagine #matt x reader #matthew sturniolo x reader #mattsturniolo

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thedeviltohisangel · 1 day

Text

All The Things I Did (Interlude): My Little Loves

a/n: Mother's Day, 1950. a super long, fluffy fic about Mother's Day! there is also quite a bit of angst as this takes place about one month before John would ship off to fight in the Korean War. I really hope you all enjoy this little bit of a deeper look at the twins/Lillian's personalities and Cass/John as parents and the absolute chaos that their house always is but they fucking love it because they fucking love each other. chat soon my lovies xoxo

The gentle tickles of John’s lips pressing to her back caused a smile to spread across her face. She kept her eyes closed as he kissed every inch of her skin that was exposed by the dip in the back of her nightgown.

“I know you’re awake, baby. Can see the goosebumps when I kiss you.”

“Keep going. I didn’t tell you to stop.” He smiled against her shoulder and reached for the hand resting against her rounded belly and twisting their fingers together. “Waking me up like this is exactly how we came to celebrate this day three years ago.”

“Happy Mother’s Day, my love. Last one as a mama of three, huh?” Cass hummed and wiggled her back further into his chest. He kissed behind her ear and buried his nose in her hair, relishing in the simple feeling of her in his arms. It would never get old for him. The quiet moments between them and their growing family were his favorite. There was no moniker he loved more than husband and father.

“If you had it your way I would always be pregnant.”

“Can’t argue that. I love filling you up with my babies.” As if to illustrate his point, he found the hem of her silkwear at the top of her thighs and lifted it to expose her belly to him fully. She was two months along with the next addition to their family. They were both already so eager to have a little baby again. “And how can you blame me? We make the prettiest little ones.”

“I have to agree. How do you make it so they all have your eyes?” She rolled over to face him and look at the baby blues in question.

“I don’t do it on purpose. Just a side effect of my-” There was a gentle knock on the door. “My bets on Penny,” he whispered.

“Fine. I’ll take Lilly.”

“Mommy? I come in?” It was Gale. They were both wrong.

“Yes, my little dove.” Knocking on the door to Mommy and Daddy’s room was one of the most critical things they had taught the twins. It had only taken one time for them to walk in on a moment their innocent eyes should never be exposed to for John to use his stern dad voice. The tone was so rarely used that their toddler ears had listened very closely and had obeyed ever since.

“Happy Mama Day!” He came scurrying into their room, his blanket trailing behind him, and Cass caught him in her arms as he jumped onto the bed.

“Careful, buddy,” John exclaimed as his wife grunted and fell against the pillow with the impact of her son.

“Sorry!” A few days ago, John had reminded the kids that the day where they celebrate their mother was coming up. Gale had been particularly excited, giving John a stack of drawings that he wanted to gift her and asking if they could have pancakes for breakfast because they were her favorite.

“Did you sleep well?” she asked as her hand stroked through his curls. He nodded from where his head was tucked under her chin.

“Hungry,” he offered simply. All of a sudden, John had two sets of eyes on him. “Daddy, we have cakes?”

“We did say that was mommy’s favorite.” He stroked the pillow soft cheek of his son and Cass smiled as she recognized the look in his eyes. One of pure adoration. One that he only ever looked upon her and their children with. “Go get your sisters so they can help.”

“Okay. Love you mama. Love you papa.” Gale reached for his dad first, kissing John’s puckered lips, before he tightened his little arms around Cass’ neck and accepted her request for a kiss as well. He shimmied out of the bed and was off in a scamper down the hall.

“When are we going to tell them?” she whispered with sadness as she watched her son. As she felt her husband’s hand tuck her hair behind her ear.

“I want today to be one of happiness. For you and for them.” He thinks the twins would be able to understand he was leaving for a while. That they would be able to feel the ache in their chest at not seeing their father for months. Maybe longer. Lillian had just turned two. Her grasp of the world around was still taking shape. But there were medical appointments and chauvinistic doctors.

John knew his wife was strong enough, their love for each other was more than strong enough, to survive his deployment to Korea. He just didn’t know how he was going to say goodbye to her or the little one growing inside of her. He was at his strongest in the presence of his family.

“I want every day to be happy for us. But especially for them.” Cass had promised her children they would never not be with their family. That nothing would ever separate them and that is exactly what their mother and father had fought for. And now it was all unraveling. “Look at my first baby coming to see me because he knows I’m sad.” Butter came padding into their room with a sock monkey in his mouth.

“No, he just knows I’m about to get out of bed and wants to take my spot.” Butter whined as if to ask if he could hurry up and do just that. They heard two sets of feet quickly patter down the stairs and smiled as their littlest one rubbed her eyes in their doorway. The stairs were a bit of a daunting task for her so she knew to ask for help. “Hi, ladybug.” John was quick to swing his legs onto the floor and pad over to his princess.

“Does it look like she was scratching at her ear again?” Cass welcomed Butter onto the bed with a scratch to the top of his head. At her last doctor’s appointment, they had poked and prodded as they tried to find a comfortable hearing aid for her little ear. It had left her with even more discomfort than she normally walked around with and it broke Cass’ soul she couldn’t fix it.

“It doesn’t look as red as it did yesterday.” John kissed the ear in question as he rested his daughter on his hip. She smiled and gripped the collar of his shirt tighter. “Should we go make sure Mommy has a breakfast that’s actually edible?” Cass melted as she watched him rub his nose against their daughter’s. Lillian was so attached to her parents, only ever at complete peace in their arms and seemingly feeling a little lost in navigating this loud and crazy world. The most rewarding gift she could have given her children was this man as their father.

“We can’t miss mass either, John!” she called as he disappeared towards the sounds of giggling children and bowls clanging together. “What are the chances they don’t make my entire kitchen look like a warzone?” she asked Butter as she turned to kiss his nose. He looked at her as if to say zero.

----

“Penny, I love your coloring so much and it is so beautiful, but can we keep it on the paper and off the table?” Cass normally put paper or an old tablecloth under their paper when they were coloring to avoid this very issue but the thought hadn’t crossed his mind until it was too late.

“Daddy, sing please!” Penelope asked with a smile as she looked up at John.

“Please!” Gale emphasized.

“Sing? What should we sing?” He was balancing Lily on his hip, her little hands occupied with the piece of fruit she was sucking on and refusing to eat, while grabbing pancake ingredients with one hand and monitoring the bacon crackling on the stovetop.

“Twinkle star,” she offered as she got down from her chair and moved to the counter by her dad.

“You want to start the song, lovey?” Penny wrapped her arms around John’s leg and hugged tightly as he struggled to measure the flour with two of his limbs occupied by cuddly babies.

“Twinkle twinkle star,” she began singing with her toddler lisp glossing over some of the consonants in the words.

“How I wonder what you are,” John continued as his son padded over to join in on use Dad as a jungle gym time, taking the empty leg for himself to match his twin. “Up above the world so high…” He looked down as the twins mumbled along to the song.

“Like a star in the sky,” they sang. He smiled at their new lyrics. Diamond was a hard word for them to pronounce. “Twinkle, twinkle, little star.”

“How I wonder what you are!” He bopped his finger against Lilly’s nose as the song came to a close. “Excellent job, my loves.”

“We help?” Gale asked as he was already moving his little stool so it was flush to the counter.

“Stir very carefully,” John said as he offered the wooden spoon to his son. He switched the hip Lilly was resting on and dropped a kiss to the top of Gale’s head, checking in on Penny who was happy to stay wrapped around his leg like a monkey. “Should we add some chocolate?”

“I love chocolate!” Penelope answered as she stood to try and peek at what her brother was doing.

“Penny, careful,” Gale cautioned as he furrowed his brow with concentration at the task his father had given him. John smiled at the interaction as he offered Penelope a little bowl of just chocolate chips.

“Don’t tell your mother,” his finger against his lips as if to seal in the secret.

“Thank you, Daddy,” she giggled as she scurried back to the table with her little treat. Lillian squeaked with delight as Butter came loping down the stairs to join in on the chaos and get closer to the smell of bacon. He sniffed at her feet as she laughed and reached to pet him.

“There you go, ladybug.” John set her down and she was off towards the living room with her best friend in tow in search for his favorite basket of toys. “How we looking, Gale?”

“All done!” John gave it a quick stir to make sure everything was incorporated and gave his son an impressed nod when it looked perfect.

“Mommy’s going to love these,” he whispered as the little one smiled.

“I love mommy.”

“She loves you, too,” John slid the pan of bacon to the back of the stove and let Gale drop a pad of butter into a new pan, “and you know I love you a lot, right?”

“This much?” Gale giggled as he spread his arms out wide.

“This much,” John answered with a smile as he extended his own arms. He brought his arms around his son’s little body and squeezed as tightly as he could, kissing the side of his head. There was a happy screech from the living room, distinctly the sound of Lillian, that had both Egan boys turning their heads. “You want to check on your sister?” The twins were just as protective over their little sister as their parents were. John and Cass had done their best to explain to them she was a little different than the little siblings their friends have or even than they were as babies. That she needed a little extra love and attention sometimes. Cass had let the thoughts eat her alive that she wouldn’t be able to love the twins as much as they deserved if she was so focused on Lillian. John had assured her that her heart was big enough for the task.

“I be back!” John watched with a smile as his son ran off into the living room and felt his chest swell at the little humans he and his wife had created and were raising to be kind, loving and giving. It was these exact moments that had spurned his heart back to life on the back of the carriage in the German forest or when his stomach was cavernous and his nose felt like it was going to fall off in Stalag. He was on this earth to be a husband to his wife and a father to his children.

“Daddy, more chocolate?” Penelope presented him an empty bowl with the evidence of her treat streaked across her cheeks and even a little on the pink of her pajamas.

“Little lamb, how did you get a tiny bowl of chocolate chips all over you like this?” he asked as he crouched down to her height.

“More, daddy? Please?”

“I’ll put some in your pancakes, how about that?”

“Smile face?” John had been known to try and turn his kids food into a smiley face whenever he had the chance. Most notably was Sunday morning pancakes with chocolate chips.

“Yes, baby, daddy’ll make your pancake into a smiley face.” Satisfied with his answer, she too ran off towards the room that held a fraction of her toys, her dog and her siblings. He thought about calling back for her so he could wipe her face and hide the evidence from his wife but he could already hear giggling and thought it best to leave it be.

Of course his three kids were an absolute handful, he doesn’t know how their nanny did this by herself everyday or how Cass managed at night before he got home, but he had never felt as fulfilled as he did in the moments with them. When he had gotten the orders to Korea, it was missing these moments that made his heart stop. Missing Gale and Penelope’s musicals they put on with their stuffed animals most nights. Missing guidance from doctors on how to help Lillian still hit milestones and reach her full potential in this life. Missing the sight of Cass’ smile and the way she mumbled in her sleep and how she fiddled with her wedding band when she was reading.

The United States Air Force was a bitch of a mistress.

----

John had every intention of bringing her breakfast in bed and snuggling as a family under the covers. But Gale had spilled the orange juice on his way up the stairs and Butter had stolen a strip of bacon from the plate while he was trying to clean up and Penny had already picked chocolate chips out of two pancakes before he realized it might have been too noble of an intention.

“What have we got going on down here?”

“Mommy!” It was a chorus of loving children as Cass appeared at the top of the stairs like an angel. She tiptoed around a defeated John and welcomed all three of them in for a hug as she reached them.

“Did my little loves help Daddy make breakfast?” The twins nodded and Lillian crawled into her lap, her ear dropping to her mother’s chest and smiling at the feeling of her heartbeat instantly. “Let’s go set the table so we can enjoy it.”

“I’ll meet you guys over there,” John sighed as he was picking up ripped pieces of pancake from the stairs.

Just like the goddess he always knew she was, Cass had the kids cleaning up coloring supplies, setting placemats and settling into their wooden booster seats all while they hummed Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star again. He watched silently as she wet a napkin and wiped Penelope’s giggling face and helped Gale cut his breakfast into smaller pieces and took extra care to make sure Lillian was comfortable with her miniature fork. “I’m sorry, baby, we were supposed to be waiting on you, not the other way around.”

“I’d rather dote on the little doves that made me a mother today.” She fell against him with ease, his lips against hers quickly. “Thank you for breakfast.”

“You haven’t even eaten it yet. It could be disgusting.”

“The lack of Egan jabbering coming from the table due to their eating of it leads me to believe it can’t be that bad.” Cass pressed onto her toes to kiss John the way she always did when they got to talking about their babies. Like she wanted another one promptly. It was how the current Egan in her belly got there.

“Since when is their jabbering from me? You’re the one who sweet talks people for a living.” He fisted her nightgown as he tried to restrain himself against the efforts her tongue was making with his. “And so successfully I might add, baby. So good at being my little Spook.”

“John Clarence Egan,” she squeezed his cheeks into his chin with one hand, “stop with that bedroom voice. We have no time-”

“Oh, Cass, I don’t need that much time,” he sniped back with that grin that normally made her knees fall open.

“Mommy, Daddy, sit!” Penelope pointed at the empty chairs they normally sat in, her face covered in even more chocolate than it was before.

“What do we say when we ask someone for something?”

“Please!” she answered. Cass kissed the top of her head and sat down across from her as John carried over two plates.

“Thank you, baby,” she kissed his arm as it reached in front of her.

“Mama!” Cass smiled as Lillian called for her attention and reached out her arms. It wasn’t very often she tried to speak and it made her heart soar whenever she did. Even more so when she used her voice to call for her parents.

“Yes, my sweet girl, I’m right here.” She brought her into her lap and swallowed back tears as John looked at them with a sad smile. “I’ll always be right here. I promise.” Cass buried her nose in Lillian's hair and breathed deeply as John held her hand on top of the table.

“Daddy, too?” Gale asked quietly as he paused his eating.

“I’m always, always, going to do everything I can to be with you.” He squeezed his wife’s hand tighter.

“Okay, Daddy!” Satisfied with the answer, and not understanding the true sentiment behind John’s words, Gale was focused on his fork and making it sound like a plane.

Cass did her best to smile the rest of breakfast. She snuck some bacon under the table for Butter. Bounced Lilly on her knee while she laughed. Felt her sides hurt with joy as John mimed eating the chocolate off of Penelope’s cheeks. It was exactly the kind of family she had always wanted to build. One of pure love and happiness. One that didn’t feel like it needed to be molded in some kind of high society pressure. One where her kids would always know she loved them. Where they would always know their parents loved each other.

“Alright, monkeys, let’s go upstairs so we can get changed for church.” The twins groaned like teenagers trapped in toddler bodies, Penelope dramatically going limp in John’s lap while Gale dropped his forehead to the table. “Hey, we said today was Mommy’s day right? So we agreed to do whatever Mommy wanted?”

“No church, Daddy.” To them it meant stockings and sitting quietly and there were the Carter kids that they despised seeing.

“For me?” Cass asked with a pout. It worked on their father. Maybe it would work on them. Penny looked to her dad.

“Do it for Mama,” he whispered like it was a secret just between them. Penelope relented with a nod and after a kiss to the top of her head from John was off his lap and holding her brother’s hand to scurry up the stairs.

“You want to help them while I clean all this up?” He was already standing from the table and gathering plates.

“I’m going to find a way to get us to Japan.” John froze and turned back to look at his wife, her focus on Lillian. “I’m not letting anything separate this family. Not even another war.” He set the plates in the sink and moved to crouch at her side, tucking her hair behind her ear and noticed the way she was shaking with the strength it took to not break down.

“Cass, baby, nothing ever will separate us. Even if I am physically far away, you know my heart is always with you five.”

“Last time…last time…” Lilly squeaked as her mother pressed her into her chest. Cass so rarely thought about Germany. Used all her compartmentalization skills to keep the years without John shoved away. Her time at the camp and their journey to make it out of there tucked away even further. She had always been adamant that misfortune only befell them when they were apart. When the distance allowed the malevolent spirits to find their way in.

“Hey, ladybug, come here.” John gently pried Cass’ hands from around their daughter and set her on the ground. “Butter!” The hound came trotting when he heard his name. He whined at the sight of Cass and the state she was in.

“Mama?” Lillian tilted her head and reached back for her mother with curiosity. Understanding why John had called him, Butter distracted her with a lick to her cheeks and she was giggling at the dog instantly. He gently nudged her until she was toddling out of the kitchen and he followed after her.

“Talk to me, Spook. Tell me what’s rattling around that gorgeous mind.” John cupped her cheek so he could look her in the eyes.

“I had the worst two years of my life because I wasn’t with you. I was hopeless and lifeless and had no purpose without you, John. I’m so afraid that when you leave, I’ll go right back to that place and I have those three I have to be brave for and this little one and oh, God, they’re going to come while you’re gone and I can’t-” Her head was tucked under his chin in an instant as the sobs racked through her body.

“Breathe, baby, breathe. I’ve got you.” Cass had gotten so good at tucking her emotions into a little box that she kept in a dark and tiny corner of her heart. It had been years since the memories inspired a breakdown such as this. “If you and the kids moving to Japan is going to fix that ache, then we’ll figure it out. We’ll find a way. Just like we always do.”

“I don’t want this to weigh on you. Just give me a minute and I’ll be fine.” She pushed off his chest and stood on shaky legs.

“Cass…” he reached for her but she didn’t grab his hand. He recognized the glazed look to her eyes. It was the same she had the previous few times the ghosts of the past had come to haunt her. It was Central Intelligence Agency Cassandra Egan taking the reins. Urging the version of her that felt too hard and too deeply to let go of the wheel and let the cold as stone version take control. “Cass, baby, don’t do this. Don’t run from your emotions. Don’t shut me out.”

“Mommy! I need help!” Penelope’s voice called from the top of the stairs.

“I’ll be right there, little love!” She turned to look at John who looked like he was going to stay exactly where he was until she crawled back in his lap and worked through this with him. “I’m not running and I’m not shutting you out. Now’s just not the right time.”

“When will be the right time?” He wasn’t going to let her say the things he wanted to hear and get away with no following through.

“Tonight? You, me and our pillows?” It was where their most important conversations seemed to be had. The place where they could relax and breathe and touch each other and whisper softly and kiss each other through whatever problems arose. They had yet to find a problem they couldn’t kiss their way through.

“I’ll be there.”

----

Gale and Penelope held their mother’s hand tightly as they walked out of the church, anxiously awaiting the lollipop their father normally handed to them once they hit the sidewalk if they had behaved. Penelope had done her best to not plug her ears at the sound of the organ and Gale had only stuck his tongue out at Jeffery Carter once and his mother hadn’t even noticed.

“Alright. Good little lambs lollipop time.” John dropped Lillian to her feet and squatted to be at the same height of his cheering children. “One for each of you.”

“Thank you, Daddy!” the twins said in unison.

“Give me a kiss.” They giggled as they each pressed their sticky lips to his cheeks.

“Oh, Cass! It’s so good to see you! Happy Mother’s Day!” Grace Carter. Self-proclaimed Queen of Great Falls, Virginia.

“Grace, it’s good to see you.” Cass greeted her politely. “Happy Mother’s Day yourself.” She was acutely aware of her twins staring daggers at the two Carter boys. She gathered them against her legs and smoothed her hand over their hair.

“Lieutenant Colonel Egan, you always look dashing in your Sunday best.” Cass gathered her breath before Grace became acquainted with her right hook.

“Thank you, ma’am. How are you doing, Adam?” he reached to shake his hand firmly before settling Lillian back on his hip and kissing his wife on the side of the head.

“I’m good, John, nice to see you.” For all the women that fawned over John Egan, much to the nearly violent chagrin of his wife, the husbands were never worried. No one in Great Falls or Charleston or Europe had ever seen him look at a woman that wasn’t his wife.

It incensed the local gossipers that he only ever seemed to be a devoted, attentive husband and father. He had been seen taking the twins to a park by himself, the horror. Seen picking them up from preschool instead of the nanny and while his wife was at work, the scandal. And the absolute most incredibly inappropriate display of Lieutenant Colonel John Egan handling a temper tantrum on the sidewalk of Walker Street with soft words and an understanding tone. Not a scream or a yell or a rough hand to avoid the prying eyes. Ghastly.

“Well, we best get going.” Cass smiled in the way that John knew meant she was moments from kicking someone’s ass, her hands pivoting the twins away and towards the car.

“Cass, will we be seeing you at the school’s bake sale Wednesday afternoon?”

“No, Grace. I’ll be at work.” That was another thing the local gossips loved to make a topic of conversation. The fact that Mrs. Cassandra Egan worked. That she wasn’t at every bake sale or auction but somehow always managed when it was a recital or art show. They were annoyed she had priorities and boundaries and enforced them and had a partner who seemed to do everything with her in perfect tandem. They never worked against each other, always rowing in the same direction.

“Such a shame you always have to work. Especially in your condition. You really should be resting.” John felt the air turn cold and tightened his grip around his daughter, his other arm wrapping around his wife’s waist and resting on top of their precious bump.

“And what condition might that be? The blessing of another child?” He knew where her mind was going. The acrid comments from doctors that somehow Cass was to blame for Lillian’s deafness. That she hadn’t taken enough care of herself during her pregnancy or rode her horse one too many times or that having twins had ruined her birth canal and damaged their daughter during birth. “I could only hope to be in this condition more often than not, Grace. I mean, you said it yourself. My husband looks so dashing in his Sunday best.”

----

A long afternoon of lollipops and the sprinkler in the backyard and babies falling asleep around the outdoor fire with chocolate on their cheeks, turned into a slow night of baths and bedtime stories and lullabies as Cass tucked the blanket around Gale’s tiny frame.

“Mommy?” he asked groggily as she was just about to close the door.

“Yes, little love?” Cass padded back to his bedside and gently knelt down to look at his precious face, cheek squished against his pillow and stuffed animal tucked under his chin.

“I love you.”

“I love you so much, my baby. So very, very much.” She stroked his cheek gently and kissed his forehead.

“Stay together forever,” he mumbled as his eyes grew heavy and he drifted into dream land. Cass held her breath as she watched peace settle over him. Peace that their family would remain intact and together. Forever.

“I’ll do everything in my power, baby, I promise.” She gently pushed his curls off his forehead and pressed a kiss to the skin there, sealing in her promise.

Cass closed the door as gently as she could and rested her own forehead against the wood to steady her breathing for a moment. For someone who prided themselves in keeping their emotions at bay, she was having a hard time breathing against the waves crashing against her. She knew she was stronger than this. Knew that her relationship with her husband and his bond with their kids was capable of withstanding any test that was thrown at them. The point was that Cass thought she had passed enough tests for the universe to give her a break. That she had earned a modicum of normalcy in waking up next to her husband every morning and both of them raising their babies together every day. What more did they want from her in order to give her that? Cass wasn’t sure she had much left to give them.

“Gale fall asleep before you even made it out the door?” John asked as he was arranging the pillows the way he knew his wife liked. “I didn’t even have to read to little ladybug, she practically fell asleep before I even got her pajamas on her.”

“For all the sugar he consumed today, yes, he fell right asleep. Penny is probably still awake making flashlight puppets.” Ever since John had used the flashlight and his hand to act out a scene from her favorite bedtime story, Penelope had been working to perfect her craft. More than once she had been caught by her parents in the middle of the night.

“Just the fact that we created humans amazes me but the fact that they have imaginations and dreams and personalities…learning who they are is never going to get old to me,” John mused. He walked around the bed and tried to bring Cass into his arms but she was already crawling onto the bed and sliding herself under the blankets. “You’re not going to let me hold you, baby?” He looked dejected as he stood there with his arms open like he was still expecting her to fall into them.

“I need that big brain of yours to help me work through some problems, Lieutenant Colonel.” She patted his pillow next to her for emphasis. He smiled wickedly and leaned down to kiss her, crawling over her body until she was horizontal across the bed. “I love when you look at me like that. Like you can read me and understand without me having to verbalize it to you.”

“Because I can, Spook,” he hummed. His lips dropped to hers once, twice, three times before his eyes were right back on hers. “You scare me when you shut down like you did earlier, Cass. You have to let yourself feel things in order to work through them.”

“I feel things when I’m with you. When I’m with our kids. It’s the feeling of not being with you and us all not being together that I want to avoid.” His finger drifted down her cheek and left a pleasant tingle in its wake.

“It’s not forever, baby. With those three and one on the way and Butter, you will be so busy you won’t even realize I’m gone.” She sat up and held John’s face between his hands.

“Please tell me you don’t think that’s true. There will always be a hole in my chest whenever you aren’t near.”

“I know. I’m just trying to find the right words to say to soothe your ache, Cass.” She leaned down and kiss him gently. Conveying all of her love, or as much as her human form could summon, letting herself melt under his gaze.

“There’s a position in Tokyo. Mary told me about it a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been holding back on asking for it because of our little ones. All four of them.” Her hands fell to her pregnant belly and John rested his cheek on top of them. “I’m scared to fly with them that long and I’m scared of my choices fucking with another one of our-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, Cass. You did nothing wrong when it comes to Lillian. You carried her and provided for her and were put here on this earth to be exactly the mother that you are to her.” John wasn’t ashamed at the level of anger he had shown the doctors that had tried to pin this on his wife. Wasn’t ashamed that he had almost throttled them through the exam room door. She smiled through her tears and combed her fingers through his curls.

“See? I need you.”

“We need each other.” She nodded in agreement.

“And we’ll always have each other. We’ll always make sure of it.”

As she kissed John in the warmth of the lamplight, the ache in her chest was soothed but not solved. She had a plan percolating in her mind on how to do so but fears that were acting as barriers towards diving in. It was uncharted water for her. Unsure of her choices and calculating the ripple of implications they would have on her children instead of just herself or an operation. It was the first time there may be a conflict between her desires as a wife and her desires as a mother. Ultimately, she would be the only one able to reconcile them.

But there were a few things she would always know for certain. Firstly, that John Egan loved her and she loved him. Second, that she loved every inch of all of her children and always would, for all time. Third, that she had fought tooth and nail for the life that she currently had and nothing would ever be worth losing it for.

Lastly, Cassandra Ann Egan knew that she deserved happiness. And fulfillment. And peace. She had fought a war to find the stable ground she was sitting on and supposed she would fight another one to maintain it. To protect it. To preserve her little corner of the world that darkness was not allowed to touch.

They’d have to get through her first. And she wasn’t going to go down without a fight.

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