#I literally feel like i’ve been given a gift lol

[ringneckedpheasant]

Hi! I saw your Bible post and if you're interested in doing this, I have a few things you could look into/do which might make the process easier if you have trauma/want to approach it like a set of myths/historical document! I studied theology and religion at uni (particularly queer and eco theology) and came at it from a non-christian angle. Anyway feel free to delete this ask if it's not useful/too much etc. I just thought I'd give some ideas!

Yale has a series of online free lectures on the Old Testament which are super interesting and don't assume any faith! They go into the various myths which inspired the various stories in the bible (such as the flood), and the history of particular parts of the old testament library (they also have one for the new testament but I haven't watched it so don't know how good it is)

Look into apocrypha! The Nag Hammai scriptures, the gospel of Judas etc. Might actually be super interesting to you if you like the myth/history aspect! They're the books which were de-classified as canon (or never were canon), but all were written super early (2nd century) I specifically recommend the Gospel of Mary Magdalene and the Gospel of Judas. "Lost scriptures" by Ehrman is a great laymans book explaining the histories/controversies around this and even goes into the controversies surrounding the secret gospel of Mark aka the gospel where Jesus seems to have gay sex. (Ehrman writes a lot of good layman books on the bible which might be worth looking at!)

If you're looking at the NT maybe look at books like Jesus the Jew by Geza Vermes or The Crucified God by moltmamn. They're a bit specialised but it is SUPER important to modern historical studies of jesus to situate him as a Jew because that is who he was! Also Moltmamns book is v leftist and not fundamentalist.

"And man created God" by Selina O'Grady goes into detail about all the OTHER religions around during the 1st century (emperor cults etc.) Which is great for context for the gospels and also learning about cool religious traditions around in the 1st century!

Queer theology? Maybe? Might be fun for ya? Queer readings of the Bible are abundant from Ruth, Judas, David and Jonathan and jesus and there's quite a few books on them (I'm not dropping any here because I've read some Intense Theological Ones which Im not sure would appeal but if you Google you will find)

Look into Song of Songs the Official Sex is Good and Holy Book in the bible! (It's also just beautifully written)

Looking at things like "the Muslim Jesus" might also be interesting? Little collections of how Islam has viewed/interpreted Judaism and Christianity and why is always interesting and often another angle on those myths/historical documents

I'm sure other people could give you more ideas/ways to approach! I approached from a non religious angle but my institution was firmly situated in the Christian tradition so is slightly biased that way. But anyway! I just thought I'd give some starting points you could look at on the myth/history angle?

Have a lovely day!

I AM LOOKING??!!?? gd this is EXACTLY what I didn’t know I needed, all of this sounds very up my alley & like it’ll be great for what I’d be trying to get out of it. like. I have gone from “this is a thing I’ve been idly thinking about” to “this is a thing I could reasonably do and where I could start”!

I’ve done a little bit of looking into queer readings of things in the past (particularly david & jonathan) but then I had a years-long period that I technically still haven’t gotten out of where I physically could not bring myself to open a bible so I haven’t tried to actually read those stories myself while keeping a queer perspective in mind. also have had more years of lit classes that I dropped out of halfway through the semester so I have slightly more knowledge of how to dissect and analyze Texts than I used to

#everything I ever learned about the bible was in *deeply* religious environments #95% of which were evangelical fundamentalism #I did also go to an episcopal church about a dozen times when I lived in [redacted] #& i’ve been to mass a few times + had One catholic friend growing up #anon #answered #save #I literally feel like i’ve been given a gift lol

[aloekat]

giving pokemon teams to d20 characters!

The Bad Kids / Fantasy High!

pt 1/?

part 1 || part 2

hello chat and welcome to aloe shoves their hyperfixation onto everything they enjoy! making pokemon teams for fictional characters has always been a fun past time for me that i enjoy greatly so i wanted to apply that to dimension 20! i plan on doing every season once i’ve watched it, starting with all the intrepid hero seasons before moving on to side quest seasons

(also i finally decided to post these after @jadelion made posts sharing their team picks, so go check those posts out as there are some great choices! i also wouldnt be inspired to finally post these without him doing so first! i made my list completely independent of hers so if there's the same pokemon its purely coincidental lol)

first i want to talk about some guidelines i’ve given myself for this, which will apply to future posts as well:

only 4 pokemon per team - this keeps things more easy and makes them feel closer to mid-game trainers rather than fully stacked end-game ones. or feel like gym leaders maybe? it also helps with rule 2…

try to have no repeat pokemon - this just keeps things unique between seasons but sometimes a pokemon is a perfect fit for more than one person but for the most part everyone gets unqiue pokemon and there are almost no doubles

low to no legendaries on teams unless for a good reason - same goes for shinies but im more lenient on the shiny rule lol

i made a lot of these these like 3 months ago as of posting this - some choices may be outdated or the character has changed enough that a choice may not fit as well but i didnt want to change it lol (this is solely for the fantasy high kids tbh)

thats all for the rules! finally it’s time to get into the teams!

! SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE CURRENT SEASON! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !

Kristen

Lycanroc - representing Tracker, again i made these before junior year so trackerbees was still a thing but i imagine it can count for cassandra also since it’s a night themed pokemon. don't know which form of lycanroc she would have though Solrock - she was given solrock during her time with Helio, and while i know sunflora exists i think solrock makes a little more sense, since she was a chosen of Helio she would be at an elevated status and therefor have a better pokemon if that makes sense? it also pairs with... Lunatone - representing her change to Cassandra, a goddess of night. there's like cool symbolism with her pokemon now wow isn't that so cool and awesome!! Unown ("?") - a question mark unown to represent Yes? (and the other Yes forms) along with her cool question mark staff! can also ALSO symbolize doubt with cassandra

Fig

Toxitricity (Low Key) - low key form gives the vibes of a bass and Fig plays the bass! toxitricity would help fig practice her instrument and come up with music. also literally called “the punk pokemon”

Obstagoon - similar reasoning, obstagoon has The Vibes that fit along with also being a sort of rock n roll pokemon

Moltres - representing Ayda, i imagine Ayda gifted it to her once they became girlfriends :)

Mimikyu - a pokemon known for its imitation of another pokemon, very much fits into Fig’s actor feat and her high deception and her not wanting to be her real self sometimes

Fabian

Dhelmise - big connection to his father and being a pirate, his father probably gifted it to him as his first pokemon

Marowak (Alolan) - fun idea i had for this is he originally just had a cubone with him during freshman year, but once he went to Fallinel and learned about the power of dance it evolved into an alolan marowak! it's a fire dance pokemon of course he would have it lol

Sirfetch'd - representing his mother and also his general fencing/fighter style that he works with

Tentacruel - just a cool ass water pokemon i feel he would have, also vaguely pirate-y with big kraken vibes

Riz

Pikachu - detective pikachu go brrrrr i imagine he would have gotten a pichu when very young, and it's evolved over time! it would wear a tiny detective hat as well because um i said so

Inteleon - super spy/gun pokemon also go brrrr, very much a reference to his father and just the general super spy-ness of Riz and Pok in junior year especially

Togekiss - ok this one feels very out of place and i forgot why it was here originally BUT i think it's to represent like a guardian angel sort of? again another reference to Pok because i love Pok and think he's very cool

Voltorb - he's the ball. this is a pokeball pokemon. are we starting to connect the dots

Adaine

Politoad - representing Boggy of course, nothing much else to say

Espeon - a very psychic pokemon representing her oracle powers, it would be fun to think that she had an eevee that simply evolved into an espeon once Adaine realized that she in fact was the elven oracle!

Delphox - another powerful psychic pokemon, again this is just vibes and it's a cool pokemon and adaine is a very cool character lol

Audino - these pokemon are known for being able to hear super well and know how their trainers are feeling from listening to their heartbeat. a gift given by Jawbone to help with Adaine's anxiety but still a good member of her team regardless

Gorgug

Archen - "i'm Cloaca, i suck!"

Gogoat - a grassy pokemon which can sorta represent the tree he lives in but also intended to represent Zelda in some ways (again i wrote these before junior year came out). it would help him carry around a lot of scraps for tinkering

Rotom - found in the village near the Nightmare King's forest, this rotom had gotten lost in the forest and, with no tech from solace nearby, couldn't find a way home. gorgug rescued it and lets it inhabit the Hangvan a lot

Rillaboom - another grassy pokemon but this one is also a drummer! can we take a wild guess as to why i picked this one. for it's drumming ability. because. because gorgug is a drummer.

=====

whew ok that's the first season done! i'll probably do unsleeping city next, which will be linked to this post once it's done!

have a better option that would fit a PC better? please tell me i would love to hear everyone's takes on this!

ok that's it that's the post everyone go home now (once again go look at @jadelion for their pokemon team picks!)

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #d20 fh #d20 fhsy #d20 fhjy #d20 fhfy #d20 #fhjy #fantasy high junior year #riz gukgak #kristen applebees #fig faeth #fabian seacaster #gorgug thistlespring #adaine abernant #pokemon #pokemon team #aloe.txt #one of my biggest text posts i'm pretty proud of this one!

[clover-the-awesomest]

Talkin bout Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel) for a hot sec okay thanks

Okay. Listen. This is a pretty big topic I’m gonna be delving into, and it’s a topic I’ve had no real exposure to until recently, so a lot of the things I’ll be saying is of my own opinion. I will be talking about SA, child abuse, abuse in general, alcohol, self-destructing, SH, and Hazbin Hotel in general. All of these are very big topics (Yes, including Hazbin lol) so if you are not keen on listening to some outsider talk about these things, please leave. I don’t want you reading something that will actively make you uncomfortable.

And again, let me reiterate: I am an outsider looking in. I have had no real exposure to any of these topics until I watched Hazbin Hotel episode 4. This is not meant to be a call-out or me making any educated guesses. It is purely just for my sake and so I can say my piece about these topics. DO NOT, IN ANY CASE, ASSUME I KNOW 100% WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. I AM YOUNG AND DUMB, AND I AM VERY LIKELY TO MAKE SOME HOT TAKES HERE. IF I MAKE A MISTAKE OR SAY SOMETHING CONTROVERSIAL, DO NOT HESITATE TO HARRASS ME, BUT BE WARNED THAT I WILL NOT ENGAGE.

One final disclaimer: If you know anyone. ANYONE who is going through a rough patch, or someone who has experienced any of these things before or are currently going through it, please please PLEASE just at least reach out. Say hi. Make them a gift. Listen to them talk. Sit with them for a while. Stay on call with them for a while. Just… Just be there for them. Please. Even a little can go a long way.

With all that out of the way, here is my very overdue take on Hazbin Hotel episode 4: Masquerade.

———

====

It is depressing. Genuinely, it is a very sad and very raw episode. And honestly? It does not deserve any of the hate that it is most certainly receiving.

Masquerade is an episode all about the horrors of an abusive (Sexually and otherwise) relationship and how it affects the one being abused. Angel Dust, who’s been shown before this episode to be very toxic and sexual, is once again given the spotlight that he very much deserves, shedding light on his behavior and why he acts the way he acts.

What is genuinely saddening about this episode is that we know that what Angel goes through is not far from reality in the slightest. If we take away the magic and the soul contracts, we get a day in the life of a real human being in the world right now as you are reading this. Someone is out there being hurt, being abused, by someone they once looked up to. They are being manipulated, being slapped, being thrown against the floor, and all the while they are powerless to do anything. It’s such a sad, sickening reality that I wish wasn’t true, but it is, and that’s that. I want more than anything to be able to help these people who are being hurt and are being used, but I currently have no way of doing that and I feel so so terrible and wrong for saying that but it’s true and I just… Ugh. It’s so depressing, really. The lengths that other human beings are willing to go to just to have someone under their control at all times. I hate it, truly.

“When I say ‘Come,’ you say…”

“Yes, Valentino.”

“When I say you are fucking 20 guys before lunch, you say…?”

“Y-yes, Valentino…”

…

Valentino wants money and control. That is all this fucker wants. The moment he laid eyes on Angel’s desperate drunken ass he instantly knew he struck gold, and just like that, the spider was under his control. In the beginning, Angel did just as he was told with little pushback, because he was looking to make a quick buck and this was also literally a goddamn overlord he was working with. Disappointing his boss could spell disaster! After a while though, Val’s demands became much more intrusive and much more harsh than they were at the beginning, and Angel’s hope for a fresh start began to slowly fade away. Soon enough, he got to where he is now. Still working with Valentino, but wanting desperately to find a way out. To be free from this double-hell that he’s dug himself into. To be happy again. But of course, now that he’s dug himself a grave and has already lied in it for some time, he can’t exactly escape. Valentino has seen his work first-hand, has experienced it with his own disgusting fuzzy body, and loves it all with every fiber in his bones. He doesn’t just want someone to fuck 20 guys before lunch. He wants Angel to fuck 20 guys before lunch. He’s found his new favorite toy, and he intends to keep playing with it.

Now this is where the manipulation comes in. Angel wants to leave, he knows he does, but he also knows that he can’t. Literally, he can’t, because his soul is bound by a contract that only Val has access to, but even without that in the picture, he cannot leave. It was shown via a previous episode (I forget which one I’m not sorry) that Valentino cannot and will not let go of his favorite toy. He sends Angel text after text after text, voicemails, emails, calls, you name it. We see a clip of him sending Angel a large amount of voicemails, and in each one he switched between being nice and caring to his spider baby to going full on insane! He yells at Angel in one voicemail, then starts cooing and whispering in kindly tones in the next. It’s such a terrifying way of showing the abused that the abuser can change their mood on a dime and that they can’t control it. That they need an out, something to let their frustrations out on. It terrifies the abused into staying, leaving them both to fester in this cycle of cat and mouse for a while before one of them inevitably breaks said cycle. Though it usually isn’t broken until it’s too late.

There is one upper hand that Angel has over Valentino though, and it’s that he knows what Valentino is doing and doesn’t fall for those kinds of tricks. Angel is a spider, and spiders are well-known for being tricky and sinister and gross, so naturally he’d pick up on Val’s manipulative behavior. This then leads Angel into another issue in his life though, and that’s his coping mechanisms.

Since Angel knows how terrible Valentino’s treatment towards him is, and since he knows how much it hurts him, he turns to other things that don’t exactly help. Alcohol, drugs, clubbing, more goddamn sex like can this man please just stop having sex if he wants to get away from it please can he just have a break por favor-

These are good substitutes for the pain. They are like numbing agents, or more questionable anti-depressants. Angel goes to the club to forget it all, to forget how much everything hurts. He goes to get heavy drinks so that he can forget. He gets high so he can forget. He has sex so he can forget.

He hurts himself more so that he can forget.

Rather than talking with someone and dealing with his stress and emotional turmoil head-on, Angel pushes it away. Off to the side. Bottles it up in a small plastic container where he’ll never have to see it again! But when leaving a glass of water under the tap for too long, it’ll quickly begin to overflow, and that’s what we see happen with Angel in Masquerade. It’s been so long of him using his illegal methods of forgetting, of numbing the pain and ignoring it, that everything just begins to spill over. He starts losing his touch, starts affecting those around him who clearly had nothing to do with any of it in the first place. He oversteps Husk’s boundaries, is constantly rude to Charlie and Vaggie, and just straight up ignores everyone else. (As far as I’m aware. Not mentioning Pentious in this btw cuz he’s a temporary resident at the hotel.) Even when Husk calls Angel out on his behavior, even when he calls the guy fake, the spider does not, CANNOT, budge. He remains indignant, is still a cocky little bitch, and just tries his hardest to not drag everyone else down with him. It backfires horribly, of course, and Husk soon ends up dragging him away from his escape, from his anti-depressant. And Angel snaps.

”IT’S NOT AN ACT!! It’s who I need to be…! And this? This is my escape! Where I can forget about it all, how much I hate… EVERYTHING. A place where I can get high and not have to think about how much it hurts.”

And then… We get this line.

“And maybe, if I can ruin myself enough in the process, if I end up broken, I won’t be his favorite toy anymore.

And maybe he’ll let me go.”

…

This line hurts me so much. My chest aches every time I hear it. Because what it entails is genuinely horrifying. Angel is telling Husk that he is literally just a toy to Valentino, just a perfect plastic doll that he loves in a perfect plastic house that he owns. The spider doesn’t know how much it’ll take to full break himself, doesn’t know if he’s even able to do that, but at this rate he is very ready to see if he can. He wants to do that, he wants to break himself. Angel wants to become physically unable to do Valentino’s dirty work, to get thrown away just like all of Val’s previous toys did. He wants, more than anything else, to just get tossed into the trash and get crushed by the truck that collects him, just so he doesn’t have to be hurt by Valentino anymore.

But the part of his speech that truly hurts me is when he says that MAYBE Valentino will let him go. If Angel was so sure that his idea would work, that breaking his boss’s favorite toy will get him to lose interest, he would’ve said “And then he’ll finally let me go.” But instead he says Maybe. Because Angel isn’t even sure if Valentino will let him be free after all this. He is unsure if Val will lose interest, if he’ll be tossed aside, if he’ll be able to find happiness in his afterlife once he is broken. He’s so far from what he dreamed of that he is more than willing to hurt/kill himself, even when he’s unaware if it’ll even help him in the first place.

Seriously. How sickening is that??

And again, one of the saddest aspects of all this is that real people experience these things in real time, in the real world, right now, as you are reading this. It’s terrifying, scary, downright depressing to think about! How so many people are willing to kill themselves just for the slightest chance at grasping freedom, yet are unsure if they can even reach it once they have that chance.

The worst part is, though, is that before opening up to Husk, this was literally Angel’s only way of finding freedom. To break himself apart so that he couldn’t be used anymore. If he can’t be broken, if he can’t die, then Val will just keep using and using and using Angel. He’ll keep hurting him and abusing him and manipulating him, and the poor guy is very unable to do anything about it at the moment. It’s so sad and so twisted and I hate it so much.

This episode of Hazbin Hotel has been getting a pretty fair amount of hatred just for existing, and honestly for once, I can see why. It touches on a very, very heavy subject that not too many people are fully familiar with. And even if there are people who are familiar with/have experienced SA before, they most likely did not have the same experience as Angel does in the episode. Which, yeah duh, of course they didn’t! We’re not in Hell yet! But the way they go about it is horrible. I’m assuming people are hating on the episode for both painting SA in a terrible light, and also not being true to their specific events. So, in response to this, let me just say this…

Nobody, no matter what, no matter what you do or where you go or who you are, is gonna have the same exact experience. For example, I went on a big hiking trip with my dad over the summer, and I saw many other families go on the same exact path we did. And yet I could tell they all were doing fine, and they all enjoyed themselves, while I was feeling like I was gonna fall and die at any fucking moment and I just wanted to get back on solid ground. The view was nice but the journey honestly made me think I was gonna go splat right then and there and I was not too happy about that.

What I’m saying is that I did not have the same exact experience to anyone else on that trail. Everyone else except for me was doing fine, yet their experiences were all purely their own. This is what makes us human. The difference in appearance, expression, and experience. Thus, for people to come out and watch an episode all about SA and for them to expect it to be exactly as they imagined… No. just no. Get a therapist, please, because you clearly have something wrong with you.

And as for painting SA in a terrible light… That’s… That’s good though? SA is genuinely a horrible thing and I do not, under any circumstances, want anyone ever to go through anything remotely like it. We are human beings! We have compassion in our blood! Use it, for fuck’s sake! I do not want anyone to ever be hurt by anyone else that they know or love dearly. That is a thought I’d never wish on even my greatest enemy! So yes, it should be painted in a horrible, terrible light! It’s bad!

====

———

This episode was… It was a lot. I still get sad and depressed to this day whenever I watch it. What I watch Angel go through makes me sick. However, I’m glad that issues like these are being addressed and that people are talking about it. I don’t like it in the slightest, but that’s why it should be talked about more. We need to be able to help more people, and even though I can’t right now, I pray to God that someone out there is hopefully getting the help and love that they truly do deserve.

Thank you so so much for reading through that whole thing, I know it was a long one. I just have so many thoughts on episode 4. I’ve been working on this for almost an hour and a half now btw so I am very gladly going to end it here. Hope you show some love and respect to those close to you and I really do hope you keep the negative thoughts to yourself. Now go get yourself a drink of water, go eat a banana or a bowl of cheerios, text your loved ones and hug ur stuffed animal, and have a great day/night! Thank you.

#That was… That was a lot. Yeah. #Come harass me all you want idgaf #wordz #random shit #angel dust hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #has been hoe tell

[eureka-its-zico]

So I just finished reading the 5th chapter for the 4th time - will continue to do so till the next chapter - and decided that I owe you a few words of gratitude.

I haven't read any fanfiction stories in a couple of years. And wasn't actually planning on starting any time soon, if I'm being honest. Not because of any prejudice, mind you😅 But just wasn’t feeling like I'm interested in one. On top of that, I was never into One Piece, but caved in under constant demands friendly recommendations to watch the Netflix adaptation (and maybe catching a little tiny crush).

This is when the beginning of the story finds us - me, a week ago, upon finishing my 3d rewatch, scrolling through the tag here and coming upon your post with the first chapter. I was planning to energetically scroll by, but then I saw the words count and went: "Hhhhmmmmm🤨🧐🤔🤔🤔". And this right here is a SUCKER for long things. So, deciding "What the hell, I don't have anything to do right now anyway", I've jumped right in and went through all four chapters. And then I did it again. And once again the next day. And then started to reread favorite parts, desperately waiting for the 5th chpater.

Thank you so much for gifting us such a fantastic and amazingly written story!! Your writing is superb, well-realized and so gripping that I find myself returning again and again. I honestly desire for it to be canon in the show, because you did the greatest job with putting your lead right into the story - it's so easy to visualise, reading it is like watching the show in my head.

It would've been incredible to read even without the romance, but that part is just *Chef's kiss* (I'll take one from the waiter as well😈😈😈). The building of their relationship is just perfection, with the constant bickering and teasing. But the soft and sweet moments (so many in this chapter, honestly), like how he didn't want to let her go to the kitchen, give me quite literal butterflies in the stomach🥰💙

The conflict in Zoro is so fascinating to read, even though it's very heartbreaking, because he's just not letting himself be happy here. The angst IS REAL and I'm fully prepared to die with the next chapter, given the subject matter😅

All the characters are brilliantly written and such a joy to read! Can't wait to see what else you'll be so generous to give us in the feature!!! Thank you so much, once again💐🌷🪻⚘️🌸🩵

P.S. I'm BEGGING you to still give us "That’s a date" scene! She should just be petty and become besties with Sanji in order to annoy Zoro for being a selfish asshole, who's throwing himself into death matches😈🤣🤣🤣

Osiyo, Carrot!!

I’m not going to lie. I’ve been holding onto your ask for a while. It was incredibly humbling to read it and, like you rereading Chaos in Their Bones, I have reread your comment about the same.

I’m so happy that you took a chance on reading my fanfiction and find it funnier that it was due to the fact of my word count. I am always paranoid that my word counts are too large. I wish I knew how to write smaller 🤣🤣 so I found it ironic that what intrigued you the most to start reading it was the length.

“Reading it is like watching the show in my head.” This comment right here feels me with so much joy. I know that this is fanfiction. It’s supposed to be fun and a place for fantasies and escapism, but I put so much effort into making sure it feels authentic and the characters realistic and it’s immersive in the best possible way. So, reading that comment made this one of my favorite I’d ever received.

As for the Sanji part I cannot confirm or deny that a date like interaction happens lol.

Thank you so much for sending me this wonderful review comment on Chaos in Their Bones and taking the time to send it. It has made a difficult week more bearable. I hope you have a wonderful weekend 🖤 Much love

#carrotsunshine #answered #Chaos in Their Bones review #I just wanted to keep this forever in my ask box #this is like top five favorite I’ve ever received lol thank you for this #roronoa zoro #one piece live action #opla

[ilovedthestars]

congrats on the ability to answer ask memes, stars! I shall ask you: single heart emoji, gift box, yellow heart, pallette?

(usually when I answer these I include a link to the meme for reference- also, bc of the way my phone is rude, these emoji descriptions might not match what you see XD just lmk if so)

thank you verso!!! look at me, answering an ask!! I feel very fancy! (I appreciate the tips very much lol)

let's see, this should be a link to the ask game: Fanfic Writer Ask Game

and I think the ones you asked for are: ❤️🎁💛🎨 ❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

Obviously this has to be something from carry us to freedom. The line about “safety as the unfaithful child of obedience” is the one that people quote back at me all the time, and I’m very proud of it, but I’m going to go with something different. I’m cheating because this is two lines, but it doesn’t make sense alone and I really like it because it distills a lot of the writing I’ve done with SecUnits going rogue: “But those who have had their first taste of hope are soon addicted to its ache. They would leave behind this life-long death for a single breath of freedom, even if a second breath is too much to ask for.”

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

verso thank you for enabling me. I always want to talk about WIPs. the question is which WIP snippet I haven't already put on discord that will make sense without too much explanation. hmmm....here, how about a sneak peek at chapter 2 of Old Unit, Young Unit? don't mind the [bracket notes], this isn't polished yet.

This is not a security incident. Cameras show that a crowd is gathering in the [public space]. The supervisors are looking for a way for the workers to blow off steam without diminishing productivity. 

When we enter, the crowd of humans gets loud and rowdy. HubSystem is smart enough to recommend that another two SecUnits be redirected here in case the crowd becomes out of control. I backburner most of my SecSys inputs. They will be irrelevant to my current task. The supervisor has given us our instructions.

Beside me, Unit 8891 stiffens almost imperceptibly. Young units are often distressed by situations like this one. I am not. I have been in similar situations more times than I can count. Unit 8891 is lucky that we have been ordered not to use our energy weapons. 

Unit 8891 pings me. Is that a challenge? A threat? I ping back. I’m not interested in posturing. I will ensure the fight is as short and uneventful as the supervisors will allow. 

Knowing humans, it will not be short or uneventful.

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

The thing I have learned and am learning and will probably never be done learning is how to be less of a perfectionist, lol. I get very embarrassed about sharing work that’s not up to my very high standards for myself. But honestly fanfic and ao3 and discord have really helped me with that—sometimes I want to show off this cool thing I made more than I want it to be perfect!! And knowing that people will enthuse over cool ideas with me even if I don’t write them perfectly is so freeing.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

Oh my goodness LITERALLY ANYTHING, I would be so honored if someone made art of my fic!!! But if I had to pick something…well, carry us to freedom is still my most beloved fic (altho Old Unit, Young Unit might catch up once I have more of it to share!). I’m not really sure how you would visualize it, since it’s very short but also broad in scope and there aren’t really any specific characters, but if someone could find a way to capture the prosetry vibes in art I would be in awe. A lot of my others are just sort of miscellaneous Murderbot interactions and emotions and somewhat similar to each other—but ooh, you know what else would be fun to see visualized? what did I do?, the fic i have gotten the most wordless screaming for.

thank you again for the questions, verso!! 💜 (fingers crossed that I post this correctly)

#ask game answers #carry us to freedom fic #old unit young unit fic #old unit young unit wip #what did I do? fic #first ask!!! this is very exciting #also idk if it's normal to reblog/reply to ask game answers with follow up questions #but I would be totally cool with that #I will gladly take any opportunity to ramble about my fics

[hazzabeeforlou]

Hi, I’m Toni.

Got a slew of new followers and I’ve been almost inactive the last half a year (at least) so wanted to do an update/intro so you know who I am LOL and so my long suffering fandom besties know what the fuck’s been going on (if anyone still cares rip sorry it’s been forever)

Currently writing this from my sick bed of ear cellulitis? That I got from wearing my mask? It would literally only happen to me. Had to go to urgent care and get a butt shot of antibiotics so it didn’t, you know, spread to my bloodstream :)

Anyways I say that to say that I probably got sick in the first place because I’m incredibly run down right now. The classical music world (im a professional musician) FINALLY opened up again, and to meet gig demands I only work my pandemic retail job once a week. I have been traveling the last four weekends in a ROW, which, due to my chronic pain (which has seen SOME improvement over the last year!!) makes me super duper exhausted and I have to admit tik tok has been getting most of my brain numbing time.

Life post-happy drugs has been tough. I’ve seen improvement in the areas I wanted to, physically, but mentally god. Drugs were nice. Anywho, I’ve done a ton of witchy/ancestral connecting/herbalist kinda things the last six months, and I now have an alter and a spiritual practice that has really brought me a lot of growth and meaning. It’s hard healing from your past when you’re still living IN it… and there’s no improvement with my parents. They’re still homophobic as hell and Republican as fuck, despite screaming matches. The threats of physical violence prevent me from confronting my dad any further. I’ve kind of given up hoping they will ever change.

It’s funny though, I would classify this year as the year I started to “feel” things, and of course that happened physically post the drugs, but also emotionally once I started to let myself FEEL emotions, god what a train wreck. Who knew humans could CRY so much? That emotional revelation led to the probably overdue realization that I’m likely Autistic and high masking, and have been suffering from that classic 30’s wall that “gifted girl high masking autistic children” eventually hit wherein they are no longer able to just push through and ignore. That’s been tough.

Writing has always been how I process and understand emotions, and now that I’ve started to actually FEEL them, it hasn’t become as essential to my functioning as it had been the last six or so years. I miss it, and I plan on finishing all my projects I left behind… as I’ve said many time The Garden part 3 IS coming I promise lol. But! Hopefully. And no promises. But I have the most delightful Christmas fic tucked into my head that I would love to publish this year, if I can find the time to get it on paper.

Okay as for fandom… I did a “growth thing” earlier this year and deleted all the bbygate stuff I’d been saving for the inevitable end. I just can’t anymore. All the photoshop, the blatant exploitation of it all… yeah I think the best option is just not to care. If they’re gonna drag this out for the rest of my life then I’m going to ignore the shit out of it. Speaking of ignoring, I also noped out of the H and O nonsense. God. What a MESS. I liked HH, truly, but the fave for me was Matilda. To be honest with you all, I listened until I grew naturally full of the album and I moved on with my life, it wasn’t world changing to me the way FL was. HOWEVER. FITF? Lord save me i didn’t even know it was coming out and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m fucking obsessed. I’m planning a MP. I genuinely think it’s Louis’ finest work and I can’t get enough of it. Every time I listen I like it MORE. I theorize it’s going to be a slow blooming album that smacks everyone’s expectations in the face. I’m so fucking proud of Louis. I bawled real ugly tears at Common People.

And lastly as always, I believe the boys were in love but I make no claims about their lives now. I enjoy the hints and speculation and love larrying along, but I think they’ve established these personas that are bulletproof to fan speculation these days, and I feel that’s how they truly want it. And that’s cool, won’t stop me from writing Larry because it was the truest gayest baby Star crossed lovers story out there and still makes the best fan fic.

Apologies for the novel but nice to meet you if you’re new HI I’M TRYING TO BE BACK to my old chums, and feel free as always to talk to me, my ask box is always open ❤️

#mine #personal #hiiiiii guys

[ahiddenpath]

Hidden’s Life

I have basically been staring at the wall all day- overstimulation from the last 48 hours, maybe?- but my darling husband just made me coffee, so maybe I can wake up, LET’S FIND OUT!

Christmas

If you know me/my history, you might know that family stuff and Christmas are complicated subjects.  Even without all that, I find Christmas overwhelming on a stimulus and activity level (decorate, find gifts, buy gifts, wrap gifts, prepare traditional food/treats, office parties, etc).  My husband and I host Christmas Eve for my mother and his parents and brother, then we go to his maternal family for Christmas morning and my maternal family for Christmas evening.  We’re in the car for 3-4 hours on Christmas Day.

All things considered, Christmas went smoothly this year, except that my bro has covid (he knew and stayed home, he is not feeling his best, but there is no need for the hospital or any danger, it seems).  My brother in law gave me a stuffed Lapras from the Pokemon center, and it is my new treasure.  My mom gave my cats a treat hiding toy, Darcy is not interested in it, but Dinah can already solve it on the hardest “mode.”

But I really smashed my stimulus threshold, and today I’ve only been able to muster “sitting around doing literally nothing.”  I don’t even mean “mindlessly scroll the internet,” I mean nothing.

New Job

It turns out that my new job is a much bigger deal for my career than I realized.  My company is doing amazing and important work- I want to be more specific, but it will probably be obvious where I work if I do.  But, um, I think I’m going to learn a lot, and I’m around brilliant people who are being given the tools to do their thing.  

So far, it’s going well.  My coworkers seem nice, and we have much more support than I’ve ever had before.  For example, at my previous companies, if an instrument broke, I would have to:  Try fixing it, find and call a repair person if I can’t, organize their visit, make a PO request to pay for it, shadow the repair tech when they arrive, Sign off on the PO, do everything all over again if it takes more than one visit.  Now, I just...  Call Lab Ops and report the broken thing.  The end.

I have been shadowing a colleague for a month, receiving actual training- which is also something I’ve never been provided before (I always got chucked into a lab and assigned stuff right away).  I don’t have my own projects yet, so it’s too early to say anything definitive, but...  It seems like this job is going to be an improvement, which is amazing.

Creative Stuff

I’ll be honest: my life has been mostly about adjusting to my new job lately.  I have been quietly editing existing writing in the background.  Camp digimonth is almost here, so I imagine this aspect of my life will be picking up again soon. 

Life in General

It’s hard to describe how things have been going!  I’d say... busier than I’d like (or at least, more demanding than I’d like), but...  Good.  Like, I’m not angry or frustrated or torn about what I should do, like I was when I worked at my previous company.  I’m just... working hard and adjusting, and sometimes it’s overwhelming, but mostly it’s just...  Working hard, but not feeling frustrated or left to flounder or anything like that.

Maybe that wasn’t much of an update, lol, but there it is!  I’m hoping to think back on this year and consider my goals for 2023, but for now...  My brain is mush, lol, so I won’t try to wring anything else out of it.  I hope you had/are having amazing holidays <3

#hidden's life

[pocket-of-summer]

Chapter 3 - Author’s Notes

Hi! Thanks for sticking around until Chapter 3. We’re not that far in (even though it’s been a year...orz where did the time go) but I honestly wasn’t even expecting to get this far 😅

I know writing is a big part of enjoying a story and I already feel like my lines are starting to feel dry...as much as I wish I could tell such a story with just pictures it’s unfortunately hard to do;; Even when I’ve simplified it down to just writing dialogue for my own sanity it’s still the part that’s hardest and takes longest for me, so I can only hope it at least helps to complement the pictures a bit (or that my pictures can somehow save the writing lol).

Anyway this chapter’s notes cover a bit on Chifuyu and Huskimon.

▶Go to:   - Continue to Chapter 4

Chifuyu

Chifuyu’s given name (千冬 Chifuyu) literally means thousand ‘千' winters ‘冬', while her family name (池田 Ikeda) literally means lake ‘池’ (rice) field ‘田‘.

Back when the story was still ??? (tbh it’s still ???, if I look like I know where the story is going I’m just pretending), Nat-chan was still the main character based on Digimon 02′s Nat-chan, but when I wanted to deviate from that and make it  a story on its own I had to think of more characters...the first thing that came to mind was Fuyu-chan for winter to go with Nat-chan for summer?

As mentioned in previous author’s notes, the kids’ family names are kinda randomly picked from water-related names...but their given names were picked out with more..intention? I wouldn’t go so far as to call them ‘foreshadowing’ but...yeah haha.

Throughout the chapter, I was kinda worried about whether I was making her sound too whiny(??)...she’s a strong kid of course, but being made to feel powerless because she’s just a human and these are all huge Digimon with super strength and powers...and well she is a kid 🧍‍♀️ But I think anyone who’s been through a similar lost or even self-loathing phase might be able to relate to how your mind will keep bombarding you with these doubts and messy thoughts even if you kind of are aware they’re not true? I hope Chifuyu can find her way back too, and for anyone who’s going through such a phase now, I hope you can find joy in the little things in life that make you happy and gather up the strength to live on for them. 🫂

Huskimon

So Huskimon was designed to be a mainly bird Digimon with beastlike traits, and meant to be a subspecies of the official Digimon Penmon. Who is the cutest thing ever-

But also maybe it’s obvious, but I got the idea from this maybe famous husky-penguin hybrid picture 😂 

(Source: https://humandescent.com/)

So Huskimon didn’t stray too far from her original design idea actually 😂 Here’s some earlier Huskimon designs:

Also, I got a tag on my fanmade digi blog that Huskimon’s evo gives Megaman Zero boss vibes...which makes me kind glad that it got spotted haha, Polarmon is very ripped-off inspired by a certain polar bear boss in a certain Megaman game:

(https://megaman.fandom.com/wiki/Poler_Kamrous)

😂

I never played Megaman Zero, but I received the artbook as a gift and I fell in LOVE with the boss designs...so I shamelessly made some designs inspired by their aesthetic and Polarmon was one of the ones that kinda stuck, though I can’t find the original sketches anymore.

Other notes

Just like Shellmon in the previous chapter, Tylomon is also an official Digimon! I simplified its design a little bit but I hope I was still able to make it look cool.

Natsu-no-Kami (and Haru-no-Kami) are named after the naming convention of some Shinto kami; “-no-Kami” means “god of”, so “Natsu-no-Kami” literally means “god of summer”. As far as I know Natsu-no-Kami isn’t an actual existing kami (though there are other existing deities representing the seasons), and they’re not meant to be taken as a specifically Shinto deity in this story 😅 Just treat them as gods spoken of in a legend told in this world, without any religious background.

I’ve always loved the idea of Digimon 02 using the TVs as Digital Gates, so that’s yet another thing I’m ripping off..I really love all the unique different elements in all of the different series, so don’t mind me as I rip off my favourite parts here and there for no reason lol.

Ok I think that’s enough word vomit for now. I hope I’m not creating too high expectations given the time it takes me to update/finish a chapter...I guess things get a bit wilder later, but in the end I just wanted to tell a little story about these 4 kids becoming friends ;v; Thanks for sticking around to see my kids.. 🥺

#author's notes

[larksbooks]

lark’s top 5 books of 2022!

ok! so! i read (drumroll, please...) 52 books in 2022, one for every week! (although, i didn’t exactly pace it so that i finished one every week, lol) and that’s NOT including the copious amounts of fanfiction i read, which probably would make it average out to a lot more. anyways. i wanted to share my top 5 :))) (even though i’m a couple days late shh)

1. The Lord of the Rings trilogy/The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien (1937-1955) 🦅✨🏹🏔️🧙🏻‍♂️

is this technically four books? yes! shh! i had been putting off reading these for ages because i never had the time to sit down and really give them justice. luckily, i found these phenomenal audiobooks which are on spotify! as someone who chiefly writes fantasy, it was definitely overdue for me to read lotr, since tolkien is THE master worldbuilder, lol. classics, and must-reads for sure.

2. The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune (2020) 🧚🌅🏝️🐈👹

speaking of fantasy! this book, in a word: whimsical. the tone & cadence of the writing is reminiscent of a lot of the stories i read as a kid, though certainly not lacking in complexity or emotional depth. the cast of characters is colorful and bright. you can’t help but grow fond of the well-meaning but stuffy caseworker linus baker as he gets to know the magical children of marsyas orphanage--including a wyvern, sprite, gnome, and the literal antichrist--and their mysterious, eccentric caretaker arthur parnassus, for whom he starts to develop feelings. this was such an enjoyable, refreshing read, and definitely one of the highlights of my year.

3. Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir (2021) 👽🔭👨🏻‍🚀🪐🚀

i don’t often cry because of fiction. really, i don’t. even E.T. didn’t make me cry. this book made me cry. and that’s saying something, given the subject matter. *clenches fist* it’s the enduring and selfless nature of humanity!! and our inherent goodness and curiosity!! even when we’re stranded in the middle of space with no idea why we’re there or what we’re supposed to be doing. ugh (/pos). i adore this book.

4. All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque (1929)

another classic! i read this ahead of the netflix movie adaptation which came out this year. this is one of the most powerful and impactful pieces of literature i’ve ever read. this book displays the horrors suffered by german soldiers in the first world war, and serves as an apt condemnation of warfare in general. the first-person perspective is poignant and intense, and it’s hard not to emerge from reading this book a pacifist.

5. If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho translated by Anne Carson (2002) 💖📝🌸💫💋

i was gifted this lovely, lovely book and it made me so happy. i have been wanting to read sappho for so long and i am so glad i finally got the chance in 2022! her poetry is just beautiful and reading her fragments are like reading the most devastating kind of blackout poetry. i’m not a huge fan of poetry myself, but sappho is definitely the exception.

#booklr #book recs #lotr #the house in the cerulean sea #project hail mary #aqotwf #sappho #posts of lark

[purplesurveys]

1596

Is Christmas your all-time favorite holiday? If so, why? I count my birthday as a holiday, and that’s actually my favorite one – I’m more intense with preparations and treats on my birthday than any other holiday. I feel like my overall feelings about Christmas are dulled knowing the reason why it’s even celebrated in the first place. I’m here just for the food and the 2-week company shutdown I get to enjoy, lol. Is Christmas more about presents or family? Family (and food, haha). Never been about the presents for me in the sense that I wouldn’t mind if someone didn’t have a gift for me; I do like getting presents for my loved ones though, just to let them know they’re always in my thoughts.

Do you have your Christmas tree and decorations up? We have a Christmas tree that’s bombarded with decorations, and we we put that up starting either late October or early November. We used to have a wreath by our front door, too, but we haven’t done that in a few years.

Do you even decorate? Yeah, just the tree. It’s filled with every kind of Christmas tree trinket you can think of, though.

Have you ever told a person that they are all you want for Christmas? Nah, not even with my last partner. I find it too cringey lol.

What are you hoping to get this Christmas? All I asked for is anything with BTS’ faces on it, doesn’t matter if it’s an authentic product or fanmade or replicas, to make it easier for everyone who might have no clue what to get me. But really, I’m fine with anything and nothing. It sounds so pretentious LOL but honestly the effort and presence of family and friends alone is enough.

By any chance is it a game console? I don’t think I ever asked for a game console for Christmas, this year being no exception; we weren’t the most well-off family in my childhood years and I didn’t want to put any more pressure for my parents.

Do you even make Christmas lists? I make Christmas shopping lists, if that’s what you mean. Mine is more or less done, just have around 4-5 people to buy for and I’ll be all set.

Are you grateful with anything you get for Christmas? Yes. Comes with the upbringing. I have relatives who have difficulties getting by, so if I get anything from them at all I know it must have taken lots of effort and thought. I’m grateful for literally anything and I make sure to use everything I receive, whether it’s a generic mug or headband or phone stand or whatever.

Have you ever given away a gift because you didn't like it? No. I’m honestly just genuinely grateful for any gift I get! And I like to make good use of every single one.

Have you ever gotten a gift that you felt like you couldn't accept? Yeah, last year my friends got together and we basically exchanged K-pop merch with one another so I felt super shy accepting what they got me! I feel like I felt this the most with Reena’s gift - a picket of Taehyung, hahaha.

Are you going to do any traveling this Christmas? Just short-term trips - we’re heading south on the 25th to gather with my dad’s side. We also have a quick vacation the weekend immediately after New Year’s.

Is anyone coming to visit you for Christmas? No, we’re the ones doing all the visiting.

In your opinion, what is Christmas really all about? Spending time with family that you only get to see during this time of the year.

Do you enjoy the 25 days of Christmas on some TV channels? I have no clue what this means.

What Christmas movie is your favorite? Love Actually and It’s A Wonderful Life!

Have you seen 'A Christmas Story'? If so, did you like it? I haven’t seen it.

Do you think that 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' is lame or classic? I’ve never seen that either.

What is the first Christmas movie you have seen this month? Haven’t watched anything Christmas-y so far. The only thing I’ve binge-watched is Breaking Bad, and that is the furthest thing that would give you holiday vibes lol.

Do you enjoy listening to Christmas music? Eh, not really. I like the jazzy kinds, but overall I rarely turn on Christmas playlists. Mariah Carey, Michael Buble, and Friends™ are way too overplayed during the holiday season anyway.

Do you really get involved in the Christmas spirit? Idk what this question is trying to ask, so I guess not. Like I said, I am largely here for the food and the 2-week vacation I get to get, lol.

Does the Christmas environment make you feel comfortable? You know what? I’m really glad and grateful that it’s been starting to actually feel that way. I had the worst seasonal depression every single year a while back, and Christmas was always something I dreaded. If I wasn’t in a family reunion that I didn’t want to be in, I kept myself locked in my room where I watched whatever comfort show I felt like watching. Not the case anymore.

Do you donate toys for the toy drive this time of year? Not toys. But I’m looking at donating money for a few animal shelters I follow. When I’m able to save up more, I’d love to give in-kind donations, like leashes, pet food, etc.

What is the best Christmas gift you have ever received? Paramore tickets.

Have you ever cried on Christmas day? Maybe Christmas 2020 because it was my first post-breakup Christmas? Idk I barely remember anything from the time but I’m not ruling out crying.

Are you usually the first one to wake up on Christmas day? I haven’t noticed. Probably not.

Are your favorite colors red and green? No, my current favorite is purple.

What colors do you like to see in Christmas lights? Yellow.

Have you ever helped your friends decorate for Christmas? No, that’s usually a family thing where I’m from, and I’m not about to interrupt their own decorating sesh.

Do your Christmas decorations stay up until New Year's? Until the end of January; that’s how long the Christmas season is here.

Are you usually the one that takes down the decorations? Our entire family does, since we have a million Christmas tree decors up.

In your opinion, what is the best gift you have ever given someone? Unfortunately that title belongs to stuff I’ve given my last partner; I always went down the sentimental path when it came to giving them gifts, so there were a few presents that I was a little prouder of. But putting that aside, probably the film camera I’m getting my cousin and his fiancée this year! They recently got engaged, so I thought of getting them that so they can capture more 2023 memories the old-school way.

Have you ever given someone a gift they didn't like? I’m sure. Nobody can get it right all the time. < This. I’ve had to be resourceful in the past when I wasn’t earning yet, and I’m sure I had misses here and there.

Is it really the thought that counts? Yeah. Again, it all boils down to perspective since I have loved ones who aren’t the most well-off but insist on buying presents. I’m grateful for anything I receive even if I never really expect stuff from anyone. 

Do you throw Christmas parties every year? Well our house is a little farther than everyone else’s and is also a bitch to get to, so as much as we want to host parties we don’t really do so to avoid hassling people. We’re the ones who do the visiting. I host parties for other stuff though, like if there are online BTS concerts to watch.

Do you even enjoy Christmas parties? Yeah, but it depends on the crowd. Parties with family and friends are great, but my social battery drains out faster if I’m at like a company Christmas party.

What happened on the worst Christmas you ever had? I’d say 2020 because I had to fake a smile through most of it when I was crushingly depressed inside. But it also allowed me to recognize the people and things I did have around me.

Has Christmas been on your mind more and more as the days go by? It’s barely in my mind, honestly. I can’t even believe it’s already the 21st -- I have none of my presents wrapped, and tomorrow I still have to shop for 3 more people lol. I’m mostly ecstatic that I get 2 weeks off work and want to focus on resting up and powering up for 2023.

Do you usually count down the days until Christmas? Only as a kid, when Christmas used to feel a lot bigger and more exciting. Only thing I’m counting down for anymore is Jin’s discharge from the military...

Do you know people who hate Christmas? I used to – the person was me. These days I don’t think anyone I know hates the holidays.

What age did you stop believing in Santa Clause? I never believed tbh and I remember being 4 or 5 and questioning his ‘midnight visits.’ I didn’t understand why I had to be asleep for him to drop by.

Do you host any kind of Christmas event or help with it? Starting last year my Army friends and I get together for Christmas to exchange gifts and have some drinks, and we plan that out together. This year’s gathering is going to be tomorrow.

Do you like eggnog? I’ve never tried but I’d love to have it someday!

Have you ever done a 'Secret Santa'? Yes, monito-monita is a big tradition in our extended family, on my mom’s side, and we’ve been doing it...pretty much the entire time I’ve been alive, lol.

Do you hate to see people sad on Christmas? I mean, I don’t like seeing people sad at any time of the year. < This is true. To answer the question more directly though, I guess I feel for people who don’t want to be alone on Christmas but end up so.

Have you ever ruined someone else's Christmas? I hope not? Idk for sure.

Do you decorate any online profiles for Christmas? No.

If you could live Christmas over day after day, would you? No. Imagine how tiring/draining that would be...

Do you have any pets that you buy Christmas presents for? No, it’s not like they can grasp the context of Christmas lol. Their dinners during this time of the year get a whole lot fancier though LOL

Are you or have you ever been in a Christmas play? If so, which one was it? Nopes.

Does Christmas get old year after year? Not for me, but I empathize with people who feel this way. Personally, I feel that it doesn’t get ‘old’ per se; it’s just that the older you get, the bigger shoes you have to fill, you know? You start to be the grownup who helps the other grownups in organizing parties, who has to think of nieces and nephews and family friends to give presents to, who has to start paying attention on whether or not you’re keeping within budget, who has to focus on feeding people and making sure everyone comes home full, etc. Christmas is largely a test of practicality for me at this point.

Do you like, love, or hate Christmas shopping? I dread it at the start when I open my shopping apps and there are like 47374934723822038207483 stuff to choose from. But being able to find a good gift for someone is always a nice feeling.

Has anyone ever ruined your Christmas? I remember having to take care of 50 work-related deliveries in the middle of Christmas in 2020. Same year I also had a client who needed reports to be done on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so I was literally working on my laptop while in the car and on the way to see family.

Have you witnessed your neighbors arguing on Christmas? (I have, bad scene) I haven’t. People are just karaokeing all over the place lol.

Are you working on Christmas? We have a company shutdown that started today and lasts until January 3rd, but of course that doesn’t permit us to completely shut off our lines from our clients. Urgent things that can’t be avoided still have to be attended to, of course, but in general we have these two weeks off to relax.

Have you ever had to work on Christmas? Yeah, I touched on that a bit earlier.

Have you ever lost someone special on Christmas? Fortunately not during the Christmas season. But like most people I’ve had to deal with those ‘first Christmases’ - first Christmas without a grandparent, a friend, a pet, etc who died earlier in the year.

Is Christmas better than New Year's or are they both equally awesome? I love New Year’s. It was always the more exciting holiday for me.

Are you really excited for Christmas? Not really, it’s just nice to be off work. < Completely this. 

Did you like this survey? I hope so. Well, bye! ^_^ Sure, thanks!

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

326 of 2023

survey by lafemelle

1. How many cars have you ever owned?

None on my own, but one as a co-owner.

2. Can you do math in your head well?

Quite much so. I’ve been always good at such things.

3. What’s your least favorite chore to do around the house?

Cleaning the floors and the toilets.

4. What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip?

I don’t eat these.

5. Do you ever read the weather forecast?

Yeah, before travelling so I know what to expect, possibly.

6. Do amusement park rides make you sick?

I don’t ever use them. My health doesn’t allow.

7. Who is your favorite Star Wars character?

No.

8. What kind of cheese do you put on your sandwiches?

Normal cheese lol. Like gouda or emmental or o.

9. What radio station do you listen to the most?

UVB-76 lol. I don’t listen to the commercial radio.

10.Who was the last person to give you a gift?

My husband, as usual.

11. How old were you when you got your driver’s license?

Nevergot it at all. I don’t know how is it in your States, but here people with neurological disorders are generally restricted from driving in some cases.

12. What was the first thing you ever learned how to cook?

Water lol. Just like most of people, I suppose.

13. Did you ever collect beanie babies?

Never heard of it.

14. When was the last time you got a haircut?

Last year lol. This calls for another one.

15. Have you ever been to a bachelor/bachelorette party?

No, and I’m not sure if I’d like it.

16. How many people can you say you TRULY love?

About ten.

17. Where are you most ticklish on your body?

Everywhere, literally.

18. Do you like kids?

I do like toddlers, but only when they are curious about the world and ask questions.

19. Have you ever cheated on a test?

Once or twice.

20. Is your next birthday coming up soon?

No, next year.

21. Have you ever bailed anyone out of jail?

I’ve never had an occasion to do so.

22. What’s the last board game you played?

I don’t play board games.

23. Have you ever given someone a fake phone number?

No, but next time I will give a police number as my own when someone is too intrusive.

24. Do you actually eat 3 meals a day?

Even less.

25. Do you have any bumper stickers on your car?

No, my husband doesn’t like them.

26. Do you leave good tips when you eat out at restaurants?

I just leave tips. It’s normal in my country.

27. What’s your favorite thing to eat at bbqs?

Veggies.

28. Do you still own any VHS tapes?

Not anymore, but I’d love to.

29. How many of your friends have you known for at least 5 years?

Most of them.

30. Are you superstitious?

Not at all, it just makes me laugh.

31. What was your favorite book as a child?

Pelle Svanslös.

32. Have you lied to anyone in the last 24 hours?

Nah, I had no occasion anyway.

33. What’s the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever eaten at?

Probably this one in the Martin’s Hotel in Waterloo. It was very elegant :P

34. How many jobs have you had?

One as a fruit picker when I was a teenager, one Infrabel maintenance summer job (from my dad), cleaning the library as a student, and then this job in the rolling stock company.

35. Are you keeping a secret from anyone right now?

No, not really.

36. What’s the smallest town you’ve ever visited?

I think Lillo, it’s a town near Antwerp.

37. If there was a real Jurassic Park, would you visit it?

No, thanks.

38. Have you ever gone golfing?

Omg no, boring.

39. What’s your favorite kind of soup?

All of them, really. But I need to have chunks in it, I don’t like blended soup.

40. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

About four, or even earlier.

41. Do you know any sign language?

No, I don’t.

42. If you became famous for something, what would it be?

Photography, I guess.

43. How many friends do you have that are married?

Most of them, really.

44. Do you ever read the newspaper?

Sometimes when I’m at the physiotherapy.

45. When you’re having a bad day, how do you make yourself feel better?

Let my cat sleep on my lap while she’s purring. Optionally going somewhere with the train.

46. Do you still have your wisdom teeth?

Yeah, I do, all of them. I’ve never felt them growing, honestly.

47. Did you have a swingset in your yard when you were a child?

Yeah, I did.

48. Have you ever played poker for money?

No, I’ve never played poker at all.

49. You’re making a fruit salad: what kinds of fruit do you put in it?

Strawberries, blueberries, banana lices, tangerine pieces, maybe peach cubes.

50. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number?

09.

51. What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

I don’t even bother wasting my time on movies.

52. Do you eat your mac & cheese with a fork or a spoon?

I don’t ever eat this shit.

53. Where did you have your first kiss?

On a tram stop lol.

54. When you were a kid, were you ever afraid of cooties?

I still don’t even know what it is.

55. Do you ever go Christmas caroling in December?

No, not anymore.

#survey #q&a survey #random survey

[harrylights]

👏💖🎀 <3

hii sorry i passed out early yesterday and have been travelling most of the day but ty for sending these to me love 🫶

👏: What’s something you’ve done recently (even if it’s a small thing) that you’re proud of? i’ll keep it to happy things so i told my crush i like them without TOTALLY freaking out lol

💖: What’s a goal that you’re working towards in terms of your self-improvement/personal growth? working on balancing my ebb and flow of creative energy into smth that’s at least a little bit more consistent than only working on projects for days on end and then literally ignoring its existence for at least a week lmao

🎀: What’s the best gift you’ve received? What in your opinion is the best gift you’ve given someone? not that i’m not grateful whenever i receive any gift at all, but most of them feel like smth that the person giving them to me would rather have themselves rather than smth that is all that meaningful for me, but my mum gave me her headphones a few years ago when mine crapped out and i love them. the best gift i’ve given was to my ex for his first bday we shared together but it went mostly unappreciated lol

positive asks (to help keep me sane lol)

#thank uuuuu ❤️❤️ #🪴🌷 #ask games

[lyonfreddie]

prolonged wailing and gnashing of teeth under the cut!!!

let me just preface this by saying that i never get super personal on here anymore but i really just need to vent!!!!

i love my job mostly because i love my coworkers. i work in development/fundraising at a pretty big museum and our team of 5 is all a bunch of young professional women with Good Taste and Witty Banter. like we are all successionpilled. i would hate my job so much if i didn’t work with these people. last week, my favorite coworker announced she was moving to another city and got a job there to be with her long-distance fiancé (he got a tenure track job and obviously... cannot move lmao), and i was SO SAD because she is SO COOL and SO POISED and i want to be just like her, but i took comfort in the fact that we would still have 4/5 of our lovely team still together.

and then my boss pulls me aside first thing this morning and tells me SHE’S LEAVING TO LMFAO

like. i’m literally going to go insane. after march 16, our team of 5 will be a team of 3, and we won’t have either a leadership giving manager OR a membership manager. i print member cards and assemble renewal/new member packets once a week each week as my Big Project but before my boss leaves she’s going to teach me how to do pretty much everything she does that she hasn’t taught me yet. which is really, really nice of her, and also kind of a vote of confidence—i seriously doubt she would take another job if she wasn’t absolutely sure she was leaving her membership program in capable hands. 

my boss is the best boss i’ve ever had. she’s so organized and she knows everything about our museum’s institutional history because she was working there before it was even built. she has always given me clear instructions and honest feedback and she’s just so, so funny. she’s great. we’re practically the same person and have the same interests. and i still have so much left to learn from her. it almost feels unfair that she’s leaving, but i’m an actual adult now and i know this is the correct career move for her. she’s not even going that far. she’s going to work at another museum that is like 800 feet away from us.

but i’m still SO fucking sad. i’ve been crying on and off all day, including at work, where i had to hold it all in. the major gifts officer saw me at the printer and was like ‘you must be feeling sad, huh’ and all i could say was ‘yeah’ and she patted me on the back and i almost lost it in the middle of the office. like... GOD

it’s so embarrassing. i pride myself on being very cool and calm and collected, and the rest of my team always tells me it’s nice how i’m so calm all the time, especially when we’re running events. but i literally walked home today and then sat on the floor of my apartment and bawled for 5 straight minutes until i was out of breath. lol. i am going to be a wreck for every single bit of their farewells and it is not going to be pretty. i’m so sad. i’m so scared. what the fuck.

i’ve also just like... been On Edge for the past week or so in a way that hasn’t really manifested since grad school. my first semester of grad school was when i developed really bad anxiety that only manifested as physical symptoms—nausea, diarrhea, constipation, loss of appetite, insomnia, weird painful muscle cramps, etc. to the point where i literally thought i was on the verge of death! i’ve been reading a book about the salem witch trials and couldn’t help but notice that the “fits” described by the “afflicted” were weirdly similar to how my anxiety jumped out, save for, like, hallucinations. it’s a good book and i want to finish it but just thinking about the similarities almost gave me a panic attack one night... which is crazy. and then i woke up this morning and found out my stupid hemorrhoid is flaring up again. which, in retrospect, just seems like an omen. lmao.

if there is any silver lining to this at all, it’s that there is a possibility i may be promoted to membership manager. i’m currently at the coordinator level, but when my boss broke the news to me, she said that we’d be working with our external membership consultant (who i’ve met! she’s great.) to help keep renewal notices and regular mailings going out. presumable until i’m up to speed. i’ve been at this museum for over a year, and full-time for 7 months. they might wait a few months, until i get closer to a year as a FT employee. or they might just hire a new boss for me. i’m ok staying at the coordinator level for a little while longer; it’s nice not having to worry a TON about budgets and financial goals. but i could probably do it if pressed. and getting a big ass salary bump would be nice.

if you made it all the way to the end, thank you for being cringe with me 🤝 the reason this is here and not in my journal is because there was clearly too much to put into my journal without having my hand cramp up. i’ll be ok. i’ll get through this. but it’s gonna fucking suck 😭

#i don't have a work tag and i don't plan to have a work tag but this... is about work LOL #going to go cry in the shower and take a bath and be in bed by 10:30 gnight ✌🏻

[itsthehcgforme]

so listen, 

I’ve been meditating on some thoughts about dating. nothing out of the usual. but I think I need to put a few things on paper (or Tumblr) today.  I remember how much of an accomplishment it was to me when anyone told me I made them feel at home. That they were understood, safe, warm with me. In fact, I was always aware of how much validation it had given me to make someone else feel nurtured, and feel like they belonged. To give them a space to be, and to be themselves, without judgement. I think more than anything, that’s what anyone wants. Sometimes, I would think this is the essence of love in itself. Now a days, I’m not so sure. This is a painful thought, but a thought, regardless. It took until my mid twenties to understand that, that, might’ve been and might still be the only quality I have to offer. Somewhere along the lines of becoming, I made it my duty, and my honor, to be that safe place for others. I think that we’ve established an honest medium here, so I’ll start exactly where any self-respecting person should.  When you give the gift of belonging, in the way I’ve given it, people rarely walk out of that light once they’ve entered it. That kind of love can become someones comfort, and safety, sometimes their lifeline. I’ve been going back and forth and back again in my mind and in my heart about the reason. the why.  If I know that this is all you’re looking for, is it manipulation to make it my duty to be it? If I know you won’t walk away from this, is it wrong to dangle it in front of you? Is it a genuine act of my heart, or is it a tool to make sure that they don’t leave? I’m not certain that I’ll ever know for sure, and that’s incredibly scary for me. While making ‘Being Mammy’ my entire personality, that allowed for a person who chose to self sacrifice in the name of ‘being of pure love’. A person who would bend and break to uphold someone else. Meanwhile, it really was the only way I could uphold myself. 

At twenty-six, now, in therapy, almost drowning in hyper-awareness, in reflection, I’ve learned how important it is to have boundaries to preserve and protect myself and my integrity. It’s been my biggest priority. But, when you have this inner reward system that has quite literally been built on how much you can chip away at yourself to make others happy, it can often feel like there’s no winning when you’re caught in the crossfire of both realities. I’ve been so focused on dating consciously, in theory, that it’s been so important that whatever relationship I choose to be apart of next isn’t based on the aforementioned ways. I’ve chosen to take ‘will make you feel at home’ off of my list of duties on my dating CV. But I’m suddenly left with this deep pit of a feeling in my stomach, and in my heart, that I have nothing left to offer anymore. It’s such a strange feeling, because ever since I could remember this was my best quality. It’s why I was most cherished, chosen, most loved, most honoured, respected. And now, what’s left? Really choosing and working toward a relationship that is rooted in mutual admiration, respect, partnership, togetherness, all of that, isn’t as easy as showing up with love in your heart. I’m learning that now, I think.  I’ve been avoiding this ‘high value’ man/woman conversation, because if I’m honest, I don’t feel compelled by the nuances that are being shared, but lately, I’ve run into a qualm that’s been demanding my attention and has been prompting me to dive deeper inward to find my definition of value, and if I myself am meeting the standard I create and if I’m really ready to say yes to what I’m asking for. Let’s talk about him.  Tomorrow. lol xox

[malwarewolf404]

Hey what's your tattoo of I'm curious and nosy

I have six but I think you’re probably referring to one of the ones on my arms.

So here we have a Brachiosaurus, which I got in conjunction with my sisters who each got a different dinosaur as well. Not much to say about that one, it’s just a fun sibling tattoo.

Above it is a band with a Heraldic two-headed eagle, which is a symbol that has been used in iconography and vexillology in many places and time periods throughout Europe, perhaps most prominently by Albania, the Holy Roman Empire, and imperial Russia. What inspired me to get this tattoo in particular was a painting called “The Attack” by Finnish painter Edvard Isto, in which he depicts the imperial Russian eagle tearing at a Finnish maiden’s book of law.

Isto’s original meaning behind the painting was that Russia was quite literally attacking the Finnish way of life, and as I read about the painting I remember I couldn’t help but feel like something similar was happening with January sixth. But then something crazy happened. The painting’s meaning for me flipped. I wasn’t some blonde maiden in distress clutching to laws and tradition as a terrifying imperial creature clawed at me from above. Suddenly, strangely, I began to realize I identified much more with the Eagle than the establishment. I’m a whole ass faggot, and I believe that our government not only believes that entrapment is equivalent to guilt, but that our laws are divinely gifted from on high by some magical sky wizard. The people that marched on the capital really honestly truly believe that an ancient wizard in the sky is giving them demerits for having premarital sex, but not for yelling at people who work in food service, or infecting their loved ones with an deadly disease, or perhaps most alarming, marching on the seat of the country’s representatives to hang them for not breaking the law to install a facist con-artist pig as a dictator. It’s really funny to me that a lot of these people happened to be white blonde women.

Long story short the Eagle, to me, represents anarchy, antifacism, and my personal responsibility to forward that aim by literally tearing apart the backwards and idiotic beliefs, violently if need be, of these mouth breathing dumbass white people who think they’re only given literally any of our constitutional rights because an abrahamic god said so (which he didn’t). Our laws only aim to forward the wealth and power of those who already have wealth and power and do next to nothing to defend us from tyranny, mass murder, or sexual assault.

Another thing I really like about the imagery of the two-headed eagle is that it kind of speaks to my own dual nature in a way too. Put simply one half of me is responsible, organized, and thrifty, and another half is playful, hedonistic, and impulsive. However, both halves of me are vigilant, passionate, and intense, like an eagle. That description is not particular to the specific image of an eagle with two heads, but that’s usually what I tell people when they ask what it means, just to skip the history lesson.

Anyway that’s a long winded response I know, and I really appreciate you asking! Sadly because the two headed eagle is both a heraldic and imperial symbol it’s been used by some pretty awful regimes in the past, I think you can guess who, but I only found that out after I had firmly established a strong personal meaning with it and permanently put it on my body. But I’m not gonna let some crusty eighty year old facists ruin my life. The symbol means a lot to me personally, and it wasn’t inspired by any art or sculptures by that particular movement. Not to mention it’s been a symbol of many places in modern day Germany since the German language was really a thing, so it’s not exactly like it’s tainted by one 10 year long facist regime. I like to think I’ve reclaimed it for antifa in a way lol.

But anyway yeah, that’s what my eagle band tattoo means to me, thanks for asking!

[dragonsareourfuture]

Christmas With The Wammy Boys

Wrote this on Christmas day when I was feelin' the holiday spirit vibes and you're getting it now lol

L

This Christmas would be different, for one particular reason.

Watari has hereby refused to keep buying presents for L to give you. He’s vowed to stop decorating the tree for him and setting up Christmas lights in patterns intricate enough to win competitions. No more…at least for this year.

“I’ve given you a break between cases for a reason, L. Spend time with them.”

L is the KING of practical gifts. Remember that vacuum cleaner you mentioned needing a while ago? It’s showing up under the tree with a bow on it.

“Oh, what’s this?”

“Detergent.”

“…”

“You said we needed detergent.”

He means well, and he really did put a lot of thought into your gifts. He thought about everything you said you needed from the last few months and went out of his way to go to a store and get it for you.

Because of that there’s no way you can even feel disappointed. Besides, you’re not receiving pointless shit that you don’t know what to do with. And you did need detergent.

Man’s tall. He can hang Christmas lights without a ladder.

He also puts the star on the tree.

And runs into all the mistletoe you hang everywhere.

“It’s an excuse to kiss or whatever!”

“All it seems to be doing is giving me a mouthful of leaves whenever I walk through a doorway.”

He doesn’t really know how to react when he opens presents.

*Awkward smile* “Thank you…I enjoy this.”

Mello

Mello’s family used to celebrate Christmas diligently. And even though he doesn’t have the best of memories connected to his family, the Christmas season has always been a time when his family would mend itself, at least for a while, and he could focus on simply being a kid with presents and food and joy.

It kind of catches you off guard when he’s so passionate about Christmas, but in a good way.

Considers “Die Hard” a Christmas movie

He tries so hard to get you something you’d like, but the poor thing honestly isn’t that great at gift giving.

He probably overthinks it too and stresses himself out so much before resorting to a gift card.

And he’d feel extra shitty if you get him a really sentimental or expensive gift. Like one time you got him this really sick pocket knife that was coated with matt black and engraved with gold on the blade.

But other times…you get burnt out too.

“Okay, so I’m really sorry”

“Me too.”

“But I couldn’t really think of anything good enough for you this year.”

“Yep, same.”

“So I got you this gift card”

“ME TOO—“

The time you spend together is better than any gift card though.

He’s a competitive decorator…

Like…COMPETITIVE. He tries to outdo anyone who lives nearby. One time he blew a fuse both literally and figuratively trying to win a made up Christmas lights competition with the neighbors.

If you think Mello isn’t going to be drinking an entire store’s stock of hot chocolate, you are dead wrong.

“I’m getting into the spirit of the holiday”

“Do not tell me you wouldn’t down a gallon of hot chocolate on any other regular day. This ain’t special.”

Matt

Christmas is a very casual occasion for Matt. He never celebrated it and he doesn’t mind continuing that. He’ll really only contribute if you want to celebrate it with him.

Shit at wrapping presents, but a master at picking out great ones.

He remembers a surprising amount of things you tell him.

“Woah, is this (insert thingy here)!? Didn’t I only mention this once? And weren’t you on your phone the whole time I was talking!?”

“What, you think I wasn’t listening?”

He’ll go along with whatever you want to do, honestly. Going sledding? Sure, no probs. Building snowmen? ‘Kay, Matt’s game. He’s making a snow Mello.

But the time Matt likes the best is when you’re cuddled up after these chilling activities by the fireplace while watching a movie. Hot chocolate may or may not be available, depending on how much Mello has already had. If not, coffee is a fine substitute.

This is Matt’s preferred time to give you your gifts and, although he doesn’t require it, he’ll be delighted if you give him one as well. Games for his console is always a safe bet, but giving him something sentimental will always warm his heart.

Just the thought of you going above and beyond for him when he told you that you didn’t have to…it really puts it into perspective just how much he means to you.

“It’s a necklace! Now, I wasn’t really sure if you like jewelry but I made sure the beads were your favorite colors and — oh, look! — I picked out a charm from that game you said you were obsessed with as a kid and…are you okay, babe? Are you…are you crying??”

“Yeah…yeah, I uh…here, can you put it on me?”

Near

Ok so…hear me out — dressing him up as a snowman.

Like with the white hair and all it would be adorable.

Of course, he might not think so. But if you bribe him. He might just come around to your side.

“Please.”

“No. I am not your doll.”

“I’ll buy you that new train set you liked for Christmas.”

“I am now your doll.”

Honestly you might have to bribe him to do a lot of things.

He kinda gets away with not getting you a present by claiming that all the things he’s done for you count as a present.

“I didn’t have to put on this fake carrot nose. But I did. I think that’s a suitable gift.”

“Fine, but at least let me take pictures. No one can recognize you with all the props and makeup.”

“…………….fine.”

Christmas isn’t always about bribes and reluctance, though. Near really likes setting up his toys in the nativity scene display thing, so that’s something he’ll do willingly.

“And who’s that as Mary?”

“Iron Man.”

You can tell he appreciates everything you get him because he spends hours playing with your gifts afterwards.

He also takes a few hours to open like three gifts. Just because as soon as he opens one gift he likes to take it out of the packaging, read the instructions, set it up, and mess with it for at least thirty minutes before moving on to the next gift.

It’s a process.

#death note #death note x reader #x reader #mihael keehl #mail jeevas #death note mello #nate river #death note matt #death note l #mihael keehl x reader #mail jeevas x reader #nate river x reader #l lawliet #christmas #death note headcanons #fluff headcanons #death note near #near x reader #mello x reader #l x reader