#I learned recently about how time is weird and how the gravitational pull of stuff affects how it moves

[pinksilvace]

you think that since Solaris is a sun god and god of time, their job is to make sure the sun rises and sets everyday? or do they share that role with Chip

I'd say it's a joint effort. Chip, being daytime (and the Earth cough cough), welcomes the sun and guides it across the sky; Solaris, being time, controls and measures the planetary cycles, with the sun being the king of our solar system.

#ask #YEEHAW SONIC GOD LORE!!! #I learned recently about how time is weird and how the gravitational pull of stuff affects how it moves #and how even a slight difference in elevation can make two clocks get out of sync #I'm too sleepy to get into all of that now but 1000% the planets have to do with time both on the quantum level and how we perceive it #something something the sun time gravity foundational forces of the universe and the human inability to comprehend it. it's all connected #a foundational part of religion is that it can often only be reconciled with nature so far and so I think it's fair to say that they BOTH #control the sun and it's a matter of perspective. In the grander scheme of things it's Solaris' job but from the vantage of Earth it's #the duty of Light Gaia to oversee the day #I think of it along percy jackson rules. wherein planetary movements are real AND Apollo drives his chariot across the sky #ASSOM lore (not that this necessarily references that but it's on my mind now) established that the gods gain power through belief #and there are many layers of things happening at once. again it's a concept incomprehensible to us mortals #but who's to say? #hopefully this makes even a tiny bit of sense. goodnight

[andromeda1023]

Pic:

On the left, what Rubin expected to see: stars orbiting the outskirts of a galaxy moving slower than those near the center. On the right, what was observed: the stars on the outside moving at the same speed as the center.

Dark matter holds our universe together. No one knows what it is.

If you go outside on a dark night, in the darkest places on Earth, you can see as many as 9,000 stars. They appear as tiny points of light, but they are massive infernos. And while these stars seem astonishingly numerous to our eyes, they represent just the tiniest fraction of all the stars in our galaxy, let alone the universe.

The beautiful challenge of stargazing is keeping this all in mind: Every small thing we see in the night sky is immense, but what’s even more immense is the unseen, the unknown.

I’ve been thinking about this feeling — the awesome, terrifying feeling of smallness, of the extreme contrast of the big and small — while reporting on one of the greatest mysteries in science for Unexplainable, a new Vox podcast pilot you can listen to below.

It turns out all the stars in all the galaxies, in all the universe, barely even begin to account for all the stuff of the universe. Most of the matter in the universe is actually unseeable, untouchable, and, to this day, undiscovered.

Scientists call this unexplained stuff “dark matter,” and they believe there’s five times more of it in the universe than normal matter — the stuff that makes up you and me, stars, planets, black holes, and everything we can see in the night sky or touch here on Earth. It’s strange even calling all that “normal” matter, because in the grand scheme of the cosmos, normal matter is the rare stuff. But to this day, no one knows what dark matter actually is.

“I think it gives you intellectual and kind of epistemic humility — that we are simultaneously, super insignificant, a tiny, tiny speck of the universe,” Priya Natarajan, a Yale physicist and dark matter expert, said on a recent phone call. “But on the other hand, we have brains in our skulls that are like these tiny, gelatinous cantaloupes, and we have figured all of this out.”

The story of dark matter is a reminder that whatever we know, whatever truth about the universe we have acquired as individuals or as a society, is insignificant compared to what we have not yet explained.

It’s also a reminder that, often, in order to discover something true, the first thing we need to do is account for what we don’t know.

This accounting of the unknown is not often a thing that’s celebrated in science. It doesn’t win Nobel Prizes. But, at least, we can know the size of our ignorance. And that’s a start.

But how does it end? Though physicists have been trying for decades to figure out what dark matter is, the detectors they built to find it have gone silent year after year. It makes some wonder: Have they been chasing a ghost? Dark matter might not be real. Instead, there could be something more deeply flawed in physicists’ understanding of gravity that would explain it away. Still, the search, fueled by faith in scientific observations, continues, despite the possibility that dark matter may never be found.  

To learn about dark matter is to grapple with, and embrace, the unknown.

Scientists are, to this day, searching for dark matter because they believe it is there to find. And they believe so largely because of Vera Rubin, an astronomer who died in 2016 at age 88.

Flash-forward to the late 1960s, and she’s at the Kitt Peak National Observatory near Tucson, Arizona, doing exactly what she did in that childhood bedroom: tracking the motion of stars.

This time, though, she has a cutting-edge telescope and is looking at stars in motion at the edge of the Andromeda Galaxy. Just 40 years prior, Edwin Hubble had determined, for the first time, that Andromeda was a galaxy outside of our own, and that galaxies outside our own even existed. With one observation, Hubble doubled the size of the known universe.

By 1960, scientists were still asking basic questions in the wake of this discovery. Like: How do galaxies move?

Rubin and her colleague Kent Ford were at the observatory doing this basic science, charting how stars are moving at the edge of Andromeda. “I guess I wanted to confirm Newton’s laws,” Rubin said in an archival interview with science historian David DeVorkin.

Per Newton’s equations, the stars in the galaxy ought to move like the planets in our solar system do. Mercury, the closest planet to the sun, orbits very quickly, propelled by the sun’s gravity to a speed of around 106,000 mph. Neptune, far from the sun, and less influenced by its gravity, moves much slower, at around 12,000 mph.

The same thing ought to happen in galaxies too: Stars near the dense, gravity-rich centers of galaxies ought to move faster than the stars along the edges.

But that wasn’t what Rubin and Ford observed. Instead, they saw that the stars along the edge of Andromeda were going the same speed as the stars in the interior. “I think it was kind of like a ‘what the fuck’ moment,” Yeager says. “It was just so different than what everyone had expected.”

The data pointed to an enormous problem: The stars couldn’t just be moving that fast on their own. At those speeds, the galaxy should be ripping itself apart like an accelerating merry-go-round with the brake turned off. To explain why this wasn’t happening, these stars needed some kind of extra gravity out there acting like an engine. There had to be a source of mass for all that extra gravity. (For a refresher: Physicists consider gravity to be a consequence of mass. The more mass in an area, the stronger the gravitational pull.)

The data suggested that there was a staggering amount of mass in the galaxy that astronomers simply couldn’t see. “As they’re looking out there, they just can’t seem to find any kind of evidence that it’s some normal type of matter,” Yeager says. It wasn’t black holes; it wasn’t dead stars. It was something else generating the gravity needed to both hold the galaxy together and propel those outer stars to such fast speeds.

“I mean, when you first see it, I think you’re afraid of being … you’re afraid of making a dumb mistake, you know, that there’s just some simple explanation,” Rubin later recounted. Other scientists might have immediately announced a dramatic conclusion based on this limited data. But not Rubin. She and her collaborators dug in and decided to do a systematic review of the star speeds in galaxies.

Rubin and Ford weren’t the first group to make an observation of stars moving fast at the edge of a galaxy. But what Rubin and her collaborators are famous for is verifying the finding across the universe. “She [studied] 20 galaxies, and then 40 and then 60, and they all show this bizarre behavior of stars out far in the galaxy, moving way, way too fast,” Yeager explains.

This is why people say Rubin ought to have won a Nobel Prize (the prizes are only awarded to living recipients, so she will never win one). She didn’t “discover” dark matter. But the data she collected over her career made it so the astronomy community had to reckon with the idea that most of the mass in the universe is unknown.

By 1985, Rubin was confident enough in her observations to declare something of an anti-eureka: announcing not a discovery, but a huge absence in our collective knowledge. “Nature has played a trick on astronomers,” she’s paraphrased as saying at an International Astronomical Union conference in 1985, “who thought we were studying the universe. We now know that we were studying only a small fraction of it.”

To this day, no one has “discovered” dark matter. But Rubin did something incredibly important: She told the scientific world about what they were missing.

In the decades since this anti-eureka, other scientists have been trying to fill in the void Rubin pointed to. Their work isn’t complete. But what they’ve been learning about dark matter is that it’s incredibly important to the very structure of our universe, and that it’s deeply, deeply weird.

Since Rubin’s WTF moment in the Arizona desert, more and more evidence has accumulated that dark matter is real, and weird, and accounts for most of the mass in the universe.

“Even though we can’t see it, we can still infer that dark matter is there,” Kathryn Zurek, a Caltech astrophysicist, explains. “Even if we couldn’t see the moon with our eyes, we would still know that it was there because it pulls the oceans in different directions — and it’s really very similar with dark matter.”

Scientists can’t see dark matter directly. But they can see its influence on the space and light around it. The biggest piece of indirect evidence: Dark matter, like all matter that accumulates in large quantities, has the ability to warp the very fabric of space.

“You can visualize dark matter as these lumps of matter that create little potholes in space-time,” Natarajan says. “All the matter in the universe is pockmarked with dark matter.”

When light falls into one of these potholes, it bends like light does in a lens. In this way, we can’t “see” dark matter, but we can “see” the distortions it produces in astronomers’ views of the cosmos. From this, we know dark matter forms a spherical cocoon around galaxies, lending them more mass, which allows their stars to move faster than what Newton’s laws would otherwise suggest.

Continue reading, pictures: https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/21537034/dark-matter-unexplainable-podcast

[totaldramafan-lauri]

North Macedonia

Um.....yeah, we were all sad......but why is this in the video? I don’t think anyone wants to remember.....*skips the beginning* There we go....

What to say about this.....He’s got a good voice?

This is a kind of song that- OK, it built! Good! I was worried this was gonna be boring XD

Choir saved the song! This is how we found a waaaaaaaaay~

As I was saying, this is a kind of song that normally- *one last choir bit* OK, OK, I get it, I was gonna be too harsh, I’m sorry! XD

As I was SAYING....this is a kind of song that normally doesn’t leave a big first impression. The slow ballad that I learn to appreciate the more time I spend with it and learning the lyrics. Examples of this would be stuff like......”Silent Storm” or “When The Music Dies”. I gotta be patient with this one, and maybe I’ll come out really liking it like those. The lyrics I could pick up on here are good, and I like that it built, but.....that’s all I can say for now

Sadly my least-favorite so far

Better than 2019? No, and this is coming from someone who thought “Proud” was overrated (though still good)

Ireland

Please don’t be a Maroon 5 cover.....*shot*

Hmmmmm....I like the sound of this, but it’s kinda hard to hear the vocals over the music in places XD

Ooooh, the drums during the bridge! I like!

I didn’t have much to say about that....I did enjoy it, but it didn’t really click that much? Does that make sense? Eh, it’ll surely grow on me.

Also, it’s better if the reactions are shorter, cuz if I have a lot to say about every song, I’d be here all night. XD

Better than 2019? Nah. Not nearly as catchy.

Cyprus

In recent years, I’ve gotten really hyped over Cyprus’ entries....will this live up to that?

Giving your heart to a devil? Well, isn’t that, uh.....relatable....

Uh.....OK, this is.....well.....

OK, it picked up again. Good. I didn’t really like that one part

Well, yeah, this isn’t normally my kind of music. This is kinda weird....but the chorus is good! The rest is just.....

Did we really need a pause just for her to breathe

Dang it why does THIS kind of song have to be the one to pull out the heaven and hell theme that I’m flipping weak to recently why why why- Uh, *cough* s-sorry.....Uh.....good chorus, but the rest of the song with the speak-singing isn’t really something I gravitate towards. It’s unique, but uniqueness doesn’t mean I have to love it too. Sorry.....but maybe I’ll eat my words later? Eh.....I don’t want the lyrics and chorus to carry this song for me.....

Better than 2019? Nah, I hate to say it, but I liked the ripoff better than this ......oops, I’m awful.....

Norway

OK WHY ARE WE JUMPING FROM “EL DIABLO” TO “FALLEN ANGEL” PFFFFFFFFFFF

Heaven, please sing for me a song of life~ Haven, take me into your skies~

I’m liking this already! Boy band flashbacks

OK, I’m liking this so much that I gotta rock to this, brb

............

*comes back after song* I’m a, I’m a, fallen angel~

Yeah......uh, I can see people not liking this, but.....it’s my favorite so far. I’m sorry. XD If you’re reading this and shaking your head at me for having no taste.....well, here’s your warning not to read any more! I never claimed to be a critic! My favorite song in 2019 was “Look Away”! >.<

But, uh.....yeah......I’m a sucker for this. It’s catchy as heck.....not a masterpiece, and I sure hope there’s stuff further down the list that I like more, cuz I don’t wanna call this a potential favorite....but it might still end up in my top 10 somewhere, knowing me......ugh.....

Better than 2019? I can still say NO to this, though. XD “Spirit In The Sky” is a song I still listen to regularly

Croatia

*looks at title* “Tick Tock”, huh? You’ve got BIG shoes to fill here.....

Haaaaah, I hate when the pre-chorus builds to a chorus that doesn’t live up to the hype.....

Though, this isn’t too bad, I guess......

Yeah, this is pretty catchy

And then suddenly Croatian for a bit

Yeah, this won me over. There are hooks here. There’s stuff to like. Just cuz a song took unexpected turns doesn’t make it bad! Here’s the proof! Oh no, oh no, oh nooooooo~

Better than 2019? Gotta say no here, sorry. It’s close though

#eurovision #eurovision first impressions

[mynameisdreartblog]

Romantic Composers 1

Aries: Amy Beach. Instigation is such an amazing concept: there can be absolutely no why behind any of your actions. For instance, I could pick up this turd out of my toilet and throw it against the bathroom wall. «Yes, but will you? Heaven knows you can’t commit.» Ah, you see, that’s the point: I don’t have to commit. The mere thought of it is already changing the circumstances we reside in. «I can agree: I went from thinking your weird to thinking you’re incredibly weird: The turd-slinger lifestyle took a hold of you.» Mór, I’ll toss as much shit as I desire. […]  <The setting shifts towards a misty field, where there is a howling wind blowing the red fumes of a nearby cauldron. They lead back to a druid’s cave, known as such because there’s a sign that says there’s a druid in it.> «Ha ha ha! What lies instore for our duo? I sense irrational actions and grievous misfortune.» <A stereotypically timed lighting strike occurs in the background.> […]  «Réa, what’s up with you? You’re looking out at nothing with your hands on the toilet seat.» …Fucking hell, I think I sensed something devilish among here. <Réamonn takes their other hand out of the toilet, still soaked from the toilet water. Mór grabs their hand and shoves it back into the toilet bowl with an angry expression.> «What? No. If you’re gonna be here, you should commit to the bit!» <An argumentative feud erupts between the two.> Aye, you fucking cunt! I know when to stop, and you’re the one taking this too far. «Not to be a joker, but you’re far too deep in the shite to quit now.» […] <We return back to the mist of the druid’s cave, and here we can see him cackling at the recent misfortune he brewed.> «Ha ha ha! I’m the mastermind behind all of the world’s divisive pitifulness! So much that I killed my previous assistant over scratching my rings!» <The druid’s crow squawks at him, because druid’s have birds now.> «Right, I know that’s a horrible tale, but nobody’s around to hear it!» […] <We cut back to Réamonn and Mór fighting.> «What’s gotten into you?» That’s, argh, what I’m, humph, trying to f-figure out! <Toilet water begins to splash all over the room.> «Right, next thing you’re gonna tell me that you decided that you’re the plumber.» <So, the two mess around in the bathroom for what seems like an hour until Réa’s mum comes in to yell at both of them.> «What the fuck are the both of you doing? I’ve been trying to take a shower in the other bathroom this whole time, and the only thing that’s been running is water colder than the farmer’s bog in November!»

Gemini: Louis Gottschalk. I smell someone, someone fishy here. It smells like someone here has a recent history of being too comfortable with colonialist apologia for French actions. Hmm, who is this person? I guess we’ll never know: We may never be able to find the baguette. Mmm, I can just smell the sweet, delectable French bread from here. Mmm, mmm, mmm… <Heavy sniffing starts to occur, with it rampantly becoming more violent.>  Damn, it just smells SO GOOD. The French did nothing wrong except make these beignets way too damn mouth-watering: Mmm, mmm, mmm. Damn, I’d love me some of them right now to fill up my gullet. I just can’t control myself around that sweet French bread: I haven’t harmed anyone yet, but if they got in the way of my French bread, you’d have no idea what I’d do to get it. MMM, MMM, MMM. That French bread just makes me wanna <scronch>, and then <freerf>, and then <sus>. Mmm, mmm, mmm, I can smell it from here: It tastes so good; I need it in my tummy immediately. I never had a full piece of French bread before. FREERF, YEERF, SLUUURP, GADORF, MEONG, PADOOK, GURK LURP, SCHLIPPITY SCHLURP, PUHTAW, OOKARH, MEONG, DING DONG, KALOOKA, NOISOME, MMM. I love bread a lot, more than I loved my own family: My own family was turned into bead and sliced up by this maniac who loved pizza as much as I loved bread. I am a yeast of my own parts, I denounce my citizenship and move to France, I am now the one sane person left in this world. GAJOINK, BREKKIE, LOLISH, NAMBODE, ANGKOR WATT, MIRANDA WARNING, ZOOMIES, BOOMIES. I love bread. […] As you know, I’m quite the fan of bread, and I have a loaf of it right now. I think it’s time to "dive right in" as they say. [,] PUHTAW, that was awful! I took may too much bread in my mouth, but that was my favorite onomatopoeia to describe how this bread came out of my mouth. TIGERS JAW, SHOSPEL COLUPIS, SWOOCE, FUNNY BREAD, BREAD FUNNY, WOO, YAY, HURRAY FOR BREAD. ’Cause if you don’t <freerf>, then you can’t <swooce>, so how are you gonna <sus> or <jodge>? It just doesn’t make <se-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ns.> Hamburger: You make a hamburger with bread. Can’t have a hamburger with no bread! MMM, MMM, MMM, I love hamburgers. <jodge.>  […] But seriously, we all know that defending empires is bad? I don’t care if that empire gives you as much bread as you want, you’re still a slave and only through that empire can you get measly bread: Not the fulfilling kind of bread, the crumbs of the crumbs.

Scorpio: Giuseppe Verdi. <We’re greeted to a bustling city scene, there are many people on the street: Some wacky, some not so wacky. Here, we see Juyeon walking with her mom to the local market because she’s short of cabbage.> Mom, why are we here? «Your father always eats an absurd amount of cabbage, sweetie. And he gets very grumpy and resistant to doing chores when he doesn’t have it, so that’s why we’re here.» <Juyeon never believed that story; she never saw her dad eat a single piece of lettuce before.> Okay <she says in a very unsatisfied voice. All the while, the bustling of the urbanity dominates the atmosphere. Somehow, in the midst of this crowd, Juyeon’s ears pick up on a particular voice.> «I’m a lost adventurer, looking for the rest of my forgotten crew! Who wants to volunteer to be the child character in the middle of an adventure group that has to travel through hell and back? We’re looking for any psychic children to help aid us on our journey.» <The lost adventurer kept yelling this ad from the cat-corner, and in the midst of those words, the term "psychic children" caught Juyeon’s ear.> Say, mister! <Juyeon notices her mom eyeing cabbage, and takes this opportunity to investigate something her mom would normally disagree with. Hesitantly, the adventurer noticed Juyeon wobbling towards them.> You said something about psychic children, mister? «Why, yes! You must know that, prior to this, I was part of a band of four with the guts like me: We travelled many lands many dimensions even. We were all so young and filled with a look of wonder towards all we did.» Lots of kids have done what you said, but you’re trying to say there was something special about yours? Also, this must’ve been a long time ago ’cause you look like you’re my mom’s age. [,] «What you never knew is that we were all blessed with psychic powers… Long story short: They ended up being a burden to ourselves after our journey was done, and we tore each other apart spiritually.»  [,] All of that sounds cool, but I feel like it’s a bit too, uh…  «Hamfisted?» It has nothing to do with ham, but I kinda get the "fist" part. [,] It’s a bit… «Ominous?» Isn’t that like, a fruit? I don’t get it is what I’m saying. Where does the psychic stuff come from? Why did you end up here out of all places? Why did you grow out of it? Like, ugh, I don’t know… I thought this would be cool, but now I’m not sure. [,] «Hmm, I can tell, whenever you came into my line-of-sight, that there was something whimsical about you: A part of you that has yet to transcend into regression with age. You’re asking where the psychic energy comes from not out of cynicism but curiosity… I might as well demonstrate to you where it comes from.» <The lost adventurer points their fingers up into the air, channels an energy, and a bolt of technicolor light courses through it from above. As soon as Juyeon would be able to understand the demonstration, her mother angrily grabs her and pulls her back into the market.> «Don’t run off like that!»

Capricorn: Hector Berlioz. <There’s a grand trunk that spikes out from the rest of the wetlands: It towers over all the other ghostly trees. It seems to represent a glimpse into the future: One emphasized by its continued existence over the temporariness of the other woods around it.> «Are those wetlands, Mr. Robichaux?» You know, I like to say there’s no dumb questions, but that’s a dumb question: We are miles away from any wetlands. <The shuttle-bus hops up a bit as it goes over a bit of uneven road, causing Ikto to lose their hold on the window.> «I don’t know, it looks pretty swampy to me.» All swamps are wetlands, but not all wetlands are swamps. You learned this in third-grade science, c’mon now. <The shuttle-bus full of the band kids rolls over yet another snag in the road, causing turbulence that allows a mic-stand in the back to fall over.> Oof, that sounded like it was expensive: Good thing it’s not coming out of my paycheck and I can still afford ravioli. <As soon as that sound was created, the neglected oak remarked about earlier had water vapor gravitating towards it, an unusual sign in nature for sure. We cut back to Vinnie attempting to fill out a crossword puzzle about sewing terms: Something far out of his purview and a task made only more difficult by the rocking of the bus.> Itko, er, <Vinnie forgets the real name of the student.> Do you know what they call the machine involved in all yarn production processes? «That’s called a spinneret, Mr. Robichaux.» Is that spelled with two Ts and an E? Because that doesn’t fit in the boxes given. «There’s only one T with no extra E at the end.» Ah, perfect. <The water vapor condenses more and more around the grand trunk to the point where, despite the bus being two miles away from it, has already spawned storm clouds around its natural base. We cut back to Vinnie filling out #9 on the crossword puzzle.> «Nobody told us it was gonna rain outside today. Look, there’s already grey clouds in the sky!» <That could be heard from another student in the back of the bus: Vinnie either didn’t hear this or he willfully ignored it. He begins to whisper angrily to himself:> What kinda question is that: "Disengages all but the bobbin weaver?" Like I’m supposed to know any of this! <The collected water formed around the tree stump brings upon a ferocious storm: One with a name and a vengeance. Immediately, the storm moved at unreal speeds towards the bus. «It’s really windy right now!» How do you know that? Is it because you’re sticking your hands out the window, like you shouldn’t be doing‽ «I wasn’t sticking any of my limbs out the window!» Yeah, right. <Audible thunder edges closer to the bus, prompting the bus-driver, Elm, to push harder on the pedal. Ikto speaks up again.> «Mr. Robichaux, I’m scared of that tree.» Relax, it’s only the sign of a story before heading onto the highway: It means nothing and it’s distracting you. <A beam of concentrated lighting zooms past Vinnie’s window, likely a missed shot from the vengeful oak. Vinnie is too busy focusing on the puzzle to even notice.> Why are you all being so loud?

#Zodipunc #Zodiaccupuncture #Aries #Gemini #Scorpio #Capricorn

[jonathanalumbaugh]

Weekly Digest

Dec 16, 2017, 3rd issue.

A roundup of stuff I consumed this week. Published weekly(ish).

Read

Whoever your graphic design portfolio site is aimed at, you have to remember that people’s time and attention is limited. Employers, to take one example, may look at dozens of portfolios in the space of 10 minutes. So you only have a few seconds to really grab their attention and enthuse them.

—8 great graphic design portfolio sites for 2018

Paying for more than 3,500 daily drinks for six years, it turns out, is expensive. The NIH would need more funding—and soon, a team stepped up to the plate. The Foundation of the NIH, a little-known 20-year-old non-profit that calls on donors to support NIH science, was talking to alcohol corporations. By the fall of 2014, the study was relying on the industry for “separate contributions to the Foundation of the NIH beyond what the NIAAA could afford,” as Mukamal put it in an e-mail to a prospective collaborator. Later that year, Congress encouraged the NIH to sponsor the study, but lawmakers didn’t provide any money. Five corporations—Anheuser-Busch InBev, Diageo, Pernod Ricard, Heineken, and Carlsberg—have since provided a total of $67 million. The foundation is seeking another $23 million, according to its director of development, Julie Wolf-Rodda.

—A MASSIVE HEALTH STUDY ON BOOZE, BROUGHT TO YOU BY BIG ALCOHOL

When Starbucks (SBUX) announced that it was closing its Teavana tea line and wanted to shutter all of its stores, mall operator Simon Property Group (SPG) countered with a lawsuit. Simon cited in part the effect the store closures might have on other mall tenants.

Earlier this month, a judge upheld Simons' suit, ordering Teavana to keep 77 of its stores open.

—America's malls are rotting away

The Dots claims to have a quarter of a million members and current clients include Google, Burberry, Sony Pictures, Viacom, M&C Saatchi, Warner Music, Tate, Discovery Networks and VICE amongst others.

—Aiming to be the LinkedIn for creatives, The Dots raises £4m

The Cboe's bitcoin futures fell 10 percent Wednesday, triggering a two-minute trading halt early Wednesday afternoon.

—Bitcoin futures briefly halted after plunging 10%

Through a very clever scheme, the people behind Tether can continue to send Bitcoin into the stratosphere until it reaches a not-yet-known breaking point. 

—Bitcoin Only Has One Way To Go If This Is True

—Bitcoin Price Dilemma: Bull and Bear Paths in Play

—Botera – Free Font

"He is being a huge assh*le and avoiding you so it literally forces you to be the one to break up with him because he's too much of a coward to do it himself. GOD, I HATE GUYS."

—"Breakup Ghosting" Is the Most Cowardly Way to End a Relationship

—Britain rejected the EU, and the EU is loving its new life

“Although the science is still evolving, there are concerns among some public health professionals and members of the public regarding long-term, high use exposure to the energy emitted by cellphones,” Dr. Karen Smith, CDPH Director and State Public Health Officer, said in a statement.

—California Warns People to Limit Exposure to Cellphones

There is a way CSS can get its hands on data in HTML, so long as that data is within an attribute on that HTML element. 

—The CSS attr() function got nothin’ on custom properties

“The recent coverage of AI as a single, unified power is a predictable upshot of a self-aggrandizing Silicon Valley culture that believes it can summon a Godhead,” says Thomas Arnold 

—Former Google and Uber engineer is developing an AI 'god'

Here are two facts: 1) Throughout the tail end of Matt Lauer’s tenure at NBC’s Today, ABC’s Good Morning America beat it in the ratings, and 2) In the two weeks since Lauer was kicked to the curb for sexual misconduct and replaced by Hoda Kotb, Today’s viewership has surpassed GMA’s by a considerable margin.

Here are two opinions: 1) No one ever really liked Matt Lauer, but tolerated him as you would a friend you’ve known for 20 years but have nothing in common with anymore, 2) Hota Kotb makes everything better.

—A Funny Thing Is Happening to Today Now That Matt Lauer Is Gone: Its Ratings Are Going Up

The game challenges you to build an empire that stands the test of time, taking your civilization from the Stone Age to the Information Age as you wage war, conduct diplomacy, advance your culture, and go head-to-head with history’s greatest leaders.

—Get the newest game in 'Sid Meier’s Civilization' series for 50% off

Amazingly, despite the mind control and hypnosis, the girl resisted being totally drawn into her father’s “cult of three.” But she suffered from self-loathing and took to self-harm as a coping mechanism.

—Girl’s father tortured her for a decade to make her ‘superhuman’

The most searched for dog breed was the golden retriever.

—Google's top searches for 2017: Matt Lauer, Hurricane Irma and more

"A few months ago, I started collecting stories from people about their real experiences with loneliness. I started small, asking my immediate network to share with their friends/family, and was flooded with submissions from people of all ages and walks of life.

"The Loneliness Project is an interactive web archive I created to present and give these stories a home online. I believe in design as a tool to elevate others' voices. Stories have tremendous power to spark empathy, and I believe that the relationship between design and emotion only strengthens this power.

—Graphic designer tackles issue of wide-spread loneliness in moving campaign

While the Windows 10 OpenSSH software is currently in Beta, it still works really well. Especially the client as you no longer need to use a 3rd party SSH client such as Putty when you wish to connect to a SSH server.

—Here's How to Enable the Built-In Windows 10 OpenSSH Client

In America we have settled on patterns of land use that might as well have been designed to prevent spontaneous encounters, the kind out of which rich social ties are built. 

—How our housing choices make adult friendships more difficult

Today was "Break the Internet" day, in which many websites altered their appearance and urged visitors to contact members of Congress about the pending repeal (see the gallery above for examples from Reddit, Kickstarter, GitHub, Mozilla, and others).

—How Reddit and others “broke the Internet” to support net neutrality today

“He’s the Usain Bolt of business for Jamaica,” Richards said. “For each Jamaican immigrant, Lowell Hawthorne is me, he’s you. He was the soul of Jamaica, the son of our soil, and all of our struggles were identified with him.”

—How the Jamaican patty king made it to the top — before ending it all

—How to break a CAPTCHA system in 15 minutes with Machine Learning

After the trap has snapped shut, the plant turns it into an external stomach, sealing the trap so no air gets in or out. Glands produce enzymes that digest the insect, first the exoskeleton made of chitin, then the nitrogen-rich blood, which is called hemolyph.

The digestion takes several days depending on the size of the insect, and then the leaf re-opens. By that time, the insect is a "shadow skeleton" that is easily blown away by the wind.

—How the Venus Flytrap Kills and Digests Its Prey

Back at The Shed, Phoebe has arrived. She's an intuitive waitress who can really get across the nuances of our menu, like how – by serving pudding in mugs – we're aiming to replicate the experience of what it's like to eat pudding out of a mug. 

—I Made My Shed the Top Rated Restaurant On TripAdvisor

In order to create a candlestick chart, you must have a data set that contains open, high, low and closevalues for each time period you want to display. The hollow or filled portion of the candlestick is called “the body” (also referred to as “the real body”). The long thin lines above and below the body represent the high/low range and are called “shadows” (also referred to as “wicks” and “tails”). The high is marked by the top of the upper shadow and the low by the bottom of the lower shadow.

—Introduction to Candlesticks

The object in question is ‘Oumuamua, an asteroid from another star system currently zipping past Jupiter at about 196,000 miles per hour, too fast to be trapped by the sun’s gravitational pull. First discovered in mid-October by astronomers at the Pan-STARRS project at the University of Hawaii, the 800-meter-long, 80-meter-wide, cigar-shaped rock is, technically speaking, weird as hell—and that’s precisely why some scientists think it’s not a natural object.

—Is This Cigar-Shaped Asteroid Watching Us?

I tried out LinkedIn Career Advice and Bumble Bizz over the course of a work week and compared them in terms of how easy they are to use and the kind of people they introduce you to.

—I tried LinkedIn's career advice app vs. dating app Bumble's version and discovered major flaws with both

“The Bitcoin dream is all but dead,” I wrote.

—I Was Wrong About Bitcoin. Here’s Why.

—Jessen's Orthogonal Icosahedron

In the study, depressed patients who got an infusion of ketamine reported rapid relief from suicidal thoughts—many as soon as a few hours after receiving the drug.

—Ketamine Relieved Suicidal Thoughts Within Hours in Hospital Study

We are trying to create an Open Source Website that searches through an open database of Interactive Maps focused on learning in a linear way. It leverages all of world’s knowledge in a unique way. It takes the Wikipedia model of curating knowledge but applies it to curating links in a meaningful and visual way.

—Learn Anything White Paper

"It was a very new word [in 1841]," Sokolowski said. "[Noah Webster’s] definition is not the definition that you and I would understand today. His definition was, 'The qualities of females,' so basically feminism to Noah Webster meant femaleness. We do see evidence that the word was used in the 19th century in a medical sense, for the physical characteristics of a developing teenager, before it was used as a political term, if you will."

—Merriam-Webster's word of the year for 2017: 'Feminism'

The Wall Street Journal issued a new note on its style blog earlier this week, suggesting the publication not write about millennials with such disdain.

"What we usually mean is young people, so we probably should just say that," the new WSJ note reads. "Many of the habits and attributes of millennials are common for people in their 20s, with or without a snotty term."

—'Millennials': Be Careful How We Use This Label

As of writing, the CoinDesk's Bitcoin Price Index (BPI) is at $16,743 levels. The world's largest cryptocurrency by market capitalization has appreciated 0.72 percent in the last 24 hours, going by CoinMarketCap data.

—No Stopping? After New High, Bitcoin Price Eyes $20k

People who tested as being more conscientious but less open were more sensitive to typos, while those with less agreeable personalities got more upset by grammatical errors.

"Perhaps because less agreeable people are less tolerant of deviations from convention," the researchers wrote.

Interestingly, how neurotic someone was didn't affect how they interpreted mistakes.

—People Who Constantly Point Out Grammar Mistakes Are Pretty Much Jerks, Scientists Find

Hydrogen particles are made up of an electron and a proton. Exciton particles, then, are made up of an electron that’s escaped and the negative space it left behind when it did so. The hole actually acts like a particle, attracting the escaped electron and bonding with it; they orbit each other the same way an electron and a proton would.

—PHYSICS BREAKTHROUGH: NEW FORM OF MATTER, EXCITONIUM, FINALLY PROVED TO EXIST AFTER 50-YEAR SEARCH 

For reasons that people are now trying to determine, this weekend the internet turned its collective gaze to a short story called “Cat Person.”

Response to the story has varied from praise for its relatability to flat dismissal to jokes about how everyone is talking about a—Who’da thunk it?—short story of all things.

—The reaction to “Cat Person” shows how the internet can even ruin fiction

—Regular Icosahedron

—Repeal Day Poster – Summit Brewing Co.

[Dr. Simon Bramhall of the UK] pleaded guilty to charges that he etched his initials, “SB,” onto the livers of two transplant patients with an argon beam in 2013. Bramhall admitted the assaults in a hearing in Birmingham crown court on Wednesday, according to several news outlets.

—SB WUZ HERE: Surgeon pleads guilty to burning initials into patients’ organs

I get what you’re doing. Really, I do. You’re trying to shit on people’s musical tastes to either appear more well-versed in music than them or you just want to see the shocked look on people’s faces as you besmirch their favorite band. And listen, I don’t blame you for either. They’re both fun activities that I partake in on the reg. If you name me a band you like, I will find a hundred different ways to judge you on your taste. If the band happens to feature a white guy with dreads, make it three hundred. But The Beatles, dude? The fucking Beatles? You are really scraping the barrel if you are knocking people for liking The Beatles, you moron. 

—Shut Your Dumb, Stupid Mouth about the Beatles Being Overrated

—Sonakinatography I Movement #III for Multi-Media

The font the menu is written in can convey similar messages; for instance an italic typeface conveys a perception of quality. But using elaborate fonts that are hard to read could also have another effect – it could alter how the food itself tastes.

A study conducted by researchers in Switzerland found that a wine labelled with a difficult-to-read script was liked more by drinkers than the same wine carrying a simpler typeface. Spence’s own research has also found that consumers often associate rounder typefaces with sweeter tastes, while angular fonts tend to convey a salty, sour or bitter experience.

—The secret tricks hidden inside restaurant menus

On Allison Benedikt, Lorin Stein, and the perils of extracting universal principles from fairytale endings...

“My career, at the time, was in his hands,” Allison Benedikt wrote at Slate this week, about the beginning of her relationship with John Cook, her husband of 14 years. They were colleagues at a magazine when they first kissed, and he was her senior. That kiss took place “on the steps of the West 4th subway station,” Benedikt writes, and Cook did it “without first getting [her] consent.” The piece is an intervention into the conversation on office sexual harassment, with Benedikt fearing “the consequences of overcorrection” on this issue.

—So You Married Your Flirty Boss

“We encourage the use of Teslas for commercial purposes and we’ll work proactively with these customers to find charging solutions that work best for them,” the statement said.

—Tesla Tells New Taxi, Uber Drivers Not to Use Its Superchargers

The deep web refers to anything you can’t access in a search engine, either because it’s protected behind a password or because it’s buried deep within a regular website. The dark web is a subsection of the deep web that you can only access with a special browser like Tor to mask your IP address.

—Things You Can Do on the Dark Web That Aren't Illegal 

—This Graphic Explains Just How Crazy The Cryptocurrency Bubble Is

One such study published in the journal Neuroimage and highlighted on PsyBlog actually found that some forms of daydreaming cause measurable changes in the brain. This suggests that, done right, daydreaming actually requires attention and control.

—This Is the Correct Way to Daydream, According to a Harvard Psychiatrist

"VR can be stored in the brain's memory center in ways that are strikingly similar to real-world physical experiences," said Stanford's Bailenson, author of the forthcoming book "Experience on Demand," about his two decades of research on the psychological effects of virtual reality. "When VR is done well, the brain believes it is real."

—The very real health dangers of virtual reality

Respect for children means respect for the adults that they will one day become; it means helping them to the knowledge, skills, and social graces that they will need if they are to be respected in that wider world where they will be on their own and no longer protected. For the teacher, respect for children means giving them whatever one has by way of knowledge, teaching them to distinguish real knowledge from mere opinion, and introducing them to the subjects that make the mind adaptable to the unforeseen.

—The Virtue of Irrelevance

—You Will Lose Your Job to a Robot—and Sooner Than You Think 

Watched

—Jessen's Orthogonal Icosahedron

#weekly #digest

[musicprincess655]

A few months ago…

“Ei-chan!”

Eijun whipped his head up. Wakana was standing in his doorway, gasping for breath.

“What…”

“Youkai!” she shouted, cutting him off. “A big one.”

A grin split across Eijun’s face. He stood to follow Wakana. They raced together to the edge of town, and Eijun could see why Wakana had looked so panicked.

It was an animal youkai, a big one. Eijun couldn’t place the animal right off the bat, but whatever it was, it could probably tear him to shreds in a few swipes.

Eijun planted his feet, taking in a deep breath. He really didn’t want this thing getting into town. It would cause a lot of damage, and if anyone got in its way, they could get hurt. He was the only one with enough magic to stop it.

First, plants. He was good with plants. Aiming his palms at them, he started chanting grow over and over under his breath. They sprouted, forming a barrier between the youkai and the town. Hopefully, he could herd it back into the countryside without having to fight it.

Even if he kind of wanted to fight it.

The youkai looked up, apparently just noticing the new growth. It snorted angrily, charging at the barrier, knocking right through it. Eijun winced. Usually, stuff avoided plants that were obviously full of magic, but this had just pissed the youkai off.

He raced back towards town, trying to cut the youkai off. Maybe he could drive it away before it got there. He tried to concentrate his magic in his hands. He’d only recently learned this trick, and it didn’t always work.

He managed to plant himself between the youkai and the nearest building and send a ball of energy its way. Instead of turning around, like he’d hoped it would, it continued, swerving around him and heading directly for the center of town. He sent another ball of energy at it, but it curved at the last minute, blasting a hole in the side of the building.

“What the hell?” someone shouted as he sprinted past, trying to catch up with the youkai.

“Sorry, Sano-san!” he called over his shoulder. He managed to catch up just as the youkai was running past the houses that were on the edge of town. He could see Wakana running around, trying to warn everyone to get away.

She was directly in its path.

“Wakana!” he shouted, finally managing to get in front of the thing. She turned, her eyes widening in shock as she took in the beast charging at her. He only had enough time to set himself before he turned to face it.

He couldn’t try any of his tricks. So he did the only thing he could think of; he held up his arms and screamed GO AWAY!

Surprisingly, it actually kind of worked. The youkai was blasted backwards, crashing into a storefront. It struggled to its feet, looking dazed, and Eijun tried screaming again. It was blasted even farther this time, almost to the edge of town. It seemed to decide it had had enough, turning and running off.

Eijun turned to see where Wakana had fallen to the ground. He reached out a hand to pull her to her feet.

“Are you okay?” he asked. Before she had a chance to answer, Eijun was distracted by shouting. He turned to see Sano stalking towards them.

“That’s the third time this year you’ve damaged my house!” he shouted, getting in Eijun’s face. “I hope you’re prepared to pay for it!”

“I…” Eijun started, but he was interrupted by the owner of the store he’d kind of destroyed stepping in to yell at him too. Before he knew what was happening, he was being marched back to his parents’ house so both men could bring their grievances. Eijun’s mother smiled and bowed apologetically and forced him into apologetic bows until they went away.

Eijun could practically hear the patented Sawamura Slap coming from his grandpa, but before it could land, there was another knock at the door.

“Listen, Sano-san,” his mother started, but it wasn’t Sano at the door. It was a woman.

“My name is Takashima Rei,” she said. “I was hoping to speak to your son.”

“He hasn’t destroyed your house too, has he?” his mother asked.

“No, I’m just passing through,” she said. “Would it be alright if I came in?”

“Of course!” his mother said, ushering Takashima in. She bustled off into the kitchen to prepare tea, while the rest of them sat around the table.

“What is this about, exactly?” Eijun’s father asked.

“I’m a professor at Seidou University in Tokyo,” Takashima said. “I think your son would be a good fit for our school. I don’t remember seeing a Sawamura Eijun in the applications for the freshman class, but I think we can arrange something.”

“You want…to let Eijun into your school?” his father asked. “Why?”

“Do you know what coven battles are?” Takashima asked.

“Those light shows they put on in Tokyo every year?” Eijun asked. “I can never watch them all the way through on TV.”

Takashima looked a little put out.

“They’re a bit more than just light shows,” she explained. “It’s a sport that brings the best of our practical magic program together. It develops a lot of skills, and people on the team tend to end up in respected positions once they graduate. There’s even an opportunity to go pro in the sport. It’s a bit of a big deal in Tokyo.”

“What does this have to do with Eijun?” his grandpa asked.

“I saw him take on that youkai today,” Takashima said. “It was an impressive effort. I think Eijun has the qualities to play the ace position on a coven battle team.”

“Our Eijun?” his grandpa asked, and okay, that tone of disbelief was a little unnecessary, even if Eijun kind of felt the same way.

“You have strong protective instincts,” Takashima went on, addressing Eijun directly. “And you can do incredible things when they’re drawn out. Have you ever sent something that big flying as far as you sent that youkai earlier?”

Eijun shook his head. He didn’t even feel tired, although he was usually sleepy when he tried to practice pushing big stuff around like that.

“You’ve never had proper magic training, have you?” Takashima asked.

“He’s the only one with enough magic to train,” his father said. “We’re not a magic village.”

“I think you could be quite impressive with a little bit of work,” Takashima said. “What do you think?”

Eijun barely gave it a thought.

“I can’t go off to Tokyo,” he told her. She looked taken aback.

“Why?”

“Because this is my home!” he declared proudly. “I can’t leave!”

“Why don’t you come visit?” she offered. “I think you might be surprised.”

“This is where my friends and family are,” Eijun said. “I don’t need to go to Tokyo.”

“I’m going back tomorrow,” Takashima continued, as if she hadn’t heard him. “You’re welcome to come with me. I’ll even pay for your ticket both ways. A day trip to Tokyo with no strings attached, that sounds pretty nice, doesn’t it?”

Eijun was about to refuse her again, when his grandpa slapped him on the back.

“He’ll go with you.”

And that was how Eijun found himself on a train to Tokyo the next day with Takashima. At least he had an excuse to skip class for a day.

He tried to pay attention to Takashima pointing things out, since he was here anyway, but he couldn’t shake the weird feeling Tokyo was giving him. There were so many people from so many different places. He couldn’t imagine feeling like he belonged here.

“You have people from all over Japan at this university, don’t you?” he asked. Takashima nodded. “How do you build a community with so many different people?”

“They’re from all over, but they all came here for the same thing,” she said. “Witches, fae, familiars, everyone with magic just gravitates to other people like them. We’ve been gathering here for centuries. Maybe it seems strange to you, but we have a community, just like you do.”

She led him to a place that looked like a cross between a soccer field and an obstacle course.

“This is where we practice for coven battles,” she said. Before she could say anything else, she was cut off by shouting.

“How are you going to defend anything if you can’t attack?” a large man was demanding. The person he was yelling at was cowering away. “Go back to your village if you can’t keep up! This isn’t even worth the practice!”

“That’s Azuma,” Takashima said, noticing where Eijun’s attention was. “He might have some attitude problem, but he’s one of the best strikers we have. He already has an offer to go pro.”

“This is what you call a community?” Eijun asked, but before she could call him for being rude, he was already stepping forward. “Oi! You’re really gonna go pro with that body, fatass?”

“Hah?!”

“I mean, just look at your belly!” Eijun went on. Takashima tried to hush him, but he ignored her. “You’re a huge target. How do you even move like that?”

“I hope you’re ready to die, punk!” Azuma threatened.

“How is that any way to treat your teammates?” Eijun demanded. “Even if everyone else here thinks that’s okay, I’ll never accept it!” He stood his ground as Azuma got in his face. “Has this place that’s supposed to be a community for magic people forgotten that?”

“Forgive him, Azuma-kun,” Takashima stepped in. “He’s never been around this many magical people, and he had to leave his friends behind to come here.”

“I should give him a taste of the magic here, then,” Azuma said, grinning. “You’ll be leaving this field on a stretcher, brat.”

Shit.

“Rei-chan, can I pair with him?”

Eijun looked over to see a boy with glasses leaning against a wall.

“Don’t butt into things that aren’t your business, Miyuki,” Azuma sneered.

“Oh, I’m soooo sorry,” Miyuki laughed, not sounding remotely sorry. “But Azuma-san, you’ve been running your mouth a lot lately. Are you saying you can’t put your money where your mouth is?”

Azuma looked like he might actually explode with rage, which maybe would have been funny, but Eijun didn’t have long to think about it before Rei was tapping him on the shoulder.

“This is a school of magic, Sawamura,” she said. “If you want to settle your differences, do it with magic.”

And that was how Eijun got himself roped into a witch’s duel with a senior.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Helping,” Miyuki said cheerfully, spreading his hand between Eijun’s shoulder blades. “Just get a shot off to his right to open.”

Eijun nodded, but when he looked…all he could see was his shot being blocked. Still, Miyuki knew better than him…right?

At the last second, unable to shake the feeling of danger, he let the ball of energy crash into the ground Azuma’s feet.

“What was that?” Azuma cackled. “If you’re too scared, go home now!”

“Time!” Miyuki called.

“What the hell?” Azuma snapped. “Talk before you start a duel, you can’t call time now…”

Miyuki ignored him, turning to face Eijun.

“Well?” he asked, brown eyes sharp. “Why’d you throw it into the ground?”

“He would’ve deflected it,” Eijun said. “I couldn’t see a way through.”

Miyuki started laughing.

“You’re right, of course,” he said, sounding pleased with himself. “That’s where his defense is the strongest. I’m surprised a kid like you can see that, though.”

“You…made me aim for his strongest side on purpose?” Eijun asked.

“I figured you needed a good wake-up call to make sure you were serious,” Miyuki shrugged. “Now, let’s take him down together.”

Eijun’s eyes narrowed.

“I don’t need your help,” he snapped, caught up in the anger of being betrayed. “Besides, two witches against one isn’t a fair fight.”

“Maybe that would be true if I was a witch,” Miyuki said. “Good thing I’m a familiar.”

Eijun stared at him. Someone who radiated this much raw power…wasn’t even a witch?

“What, did you think familiars were just shifters?” Eijun didn’t want to embarrass himself by nodding. “We can do more than that.”

Eijun probably didn’t look convinced.

“Listen, just let me deal with him,” Miyuki said, actually looking a bit serious. He moved his hand from Eijun’s back so his arm was slung across Eijun’s shoulders. “I know his quirks better than you. Just tell me what attacks you have so I know what to ask for.”

“I just blast them all away, of course!” Eijun said proudly. Miyuki looked blank for a moment before laughing again.

“You can’t be serious!” he gasped. “Okay, that’ll just make this more fun. You let me worry about the placement, and just blast him away!”

“This has nothing to do with you,” Eijun growled. “This is a fight between me and him.”

“Weren’t you the one just talking about community?” Miyuki asked. “That comes from working together, don’t you think? I don’t know where you’ve been up ‘til now, but the best kind of magic is a work of art between a witch and a familiar.”

Eijun stared at him in awe.

“Work together?”

“I’ll draw out any ability you have,” Miyuki promised. “That’s my job as a familiar. Just trust in my calls and blast him with your best attacks. Let’s do this, partner!”

Eijun wasn’t thrilled with the idea of trusting Miyuki again, but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice.

“To his left,” Miyuki instructed, and Eijun obeyed. The ball of light made impact, but Eijun couldn’t move. He’d never thrown with that much accuracy or that much power before.

He didn’t have long to think about it, flinching when another attack came their way, deflected by Miyuki.

“Incredible,” Miyuki gasped. “Right down the middle!”

Eijun obeyed, and Azuma was knocked off his feet entirely. He stood up, seething, but Miyuki was waiting, and pointed Eijun to another spot. They kept going, attack after attack, Miyuki shielding them when Azuma tried to counter, until the third hit knocked around his shield.

That was a strikeout.

“Nice shot.”

Eijun couldn’t stop turning those words over in his mind on the train back home. He’d picked up a magazine on coven battle teams, finding an article about Miyuki, pouring over it on the way home. He was still thinking about everything he’d seen, wandering around his house in a daze.

“You’re not scared, are you?” his dad finally asked him, after a few days of moping.

“Scared?”

“Of leaving and going to Tokyo,” his dad continued. “Because even if you are, I think you should go.”

Eijun wanted to protest, but his dad continued.

“I know you like it here, but you should be with other people like you,” his dad said. “You have strong magic. That’s worth more than just staying here and helping us get the crops to grow.”

It was true, maybe, but it was also the only way Eijun had ever thought of his life going, even if breaking up with Wakana a few months ago had removed the part where he’d assumed he would marry her someday.

“You saw something amazing there, didn’t you?” his dad asked. Eijun nodded. “So go chase it.”

#sawamura eijun #fydna #dailydaiya #daiya no a #ace of diamond #dna #my writing #magic au #elt

[meticulousfox-theparadox]

DO ALL OF THEM MWAHAHA

Omg. Thanks you evil anon. 😂😂

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I always add more milk than cereal, and it makes me so sad.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

I actually freaking love it. ngl.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I sometimes just random strings/ribbons I find, or like a hair tie. But this one time I used bobby pins.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

Coffee: I love diabetes with my coffee. (I love a lot of sugar tbh) which is like so bad for me, but whatevs. Tea: uhh I just drink it???

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Very self conscious, I hate it. But I show it because I’m generally pretty happy.

6: do you keep plants?

No, but I would love to have plants! It would be fun to own a garden.

7: do you name your plants?

I would name them if I had them!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

I write poems honestly.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

All the freaking time. I love singing tbh.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

I switch between my stomach and my side. But mostly my stomach tbh.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

1-800-DrugFlab. It’s a looooong story. 😂😂😂😂

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Oooo, that has to be Saturn. I just love how it’s a gaseous planet and that gravitational pull of debris that creates it’s rings is pretty freaking tiiiight. In my opinion.

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

Recieving a phone call from a said awesome person. 💕

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

It would look amazing. Tapestrys, christmas lights, and nature paintings everywhere! And soft couches and chairs. With pretty rugs. 😍

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

The largest asteroid ever recorded is a mammoth piece of space rock named Ceres.

The asteroid is almost 600 miles in diameter. It’s by far the largest in the asteroid belt and accounts for a whole third of the belt’s mass. The surface area is approximately equal to the land area of India or Argentina. It’s so big, there’s actually some debate over whether to refer to it as a dwarf planet instead of an asteroid, even if it has mostly asteroid-like qualities.

(Ayyy we all learned something new today.)

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

That’s so hard, because I love all pasta. But I guess my favorite has to be chicken Alfredo.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

I REALLY want to do a black to greyish/white ombre. Because I think I would look so cute with it.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

It was my first year of high school/secondary school. And I was rocking in one of the chairs, I fell back and as I fell, I turned off the front classroom lights which in a way created a spotlight for me when I landed on the ground with a big bang. I was so freaking embarrassed, but my friends found it hilarious.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

I don’t necessarily keep a journal or anything. But on my phone I like to go into my notes and write poems and stuff. Nothing too fancy or post worthy though.

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

I love light coloured eyes tbh. Seeing as mine are brown. I adore blue and green. But blue is my 100% favorite.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

My red backpack I got like almost five years ago. It’s my favorite and I had it through high school and I still use it now when I go sleep at a friend’s house. lol

22: are you a morning person?

Not really. I prefer the night time more.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

I personally just love to listen to music, play video games, or just talk on the phone with people that mean something to me.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Of course. And he knows who he is. (:

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

Uhhhh, my friend’s interested house to plant a vaccuum cleaner in his closet. For his birthday. Annnnnd like I never went there before that day annnnnnd he’s also my general manager at work. Sooo. Lol.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

That has to be my black vans. I wear them to work every day too.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

I really don’t chew gum tbh.

28: sunrise or sunset?

I personally love the sunset.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

Sing to me and play guitar. (:

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Oh hell yeah, more times that I can count tbh.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I wear mismatch socks. With either Disney villians, Harry Potter, or Pokemon on them. I hate sleeping with socks on ngl.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Uhhh, I remember one time we got super drunk at a friends house. We were playing fuck the dealer. Where like you had to guess the card on hand. You had to tries and if you didn’t get it, you had to take the number of that card, in shots. We were so gone, and then after that we just played music, ate taco bell and chilled. (My 3 A.M. stories are usually just drinking or drug related so. Lol)

33: what’s your fave pastry?

Danishes. Cheese or cherry or even blueberry. Mmmmm.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

I had a plush dog that I named Clark and I gave him away to my friend recently because he was moving away from me.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

Uhhhh noooo. I do not. Lol

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Honestly, EDM artist fit my mood more than bands tbh. 😂😂

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?My room is mostly clean besides like clothes on my bed sometimes. But that’s the worst of it.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Dishes in the sink, interruption during my favorite part of a song, video game, book, ect. And over neediness.

39: what color do you wear the most?

That’s so hard, cause I wear a lot of colour. I used to wear a lot of black, but I kind of grew out of that. The only time I wear like a lot of black is for work. Hahah. I guess I wear blue a lot though??

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

My gold rose ring that I always wear on my right ring finger. My dad got it for my birthday last year. And it just means a lot to me.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

The Fallen by Thomas E. Sniegoski

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

There’s this freaking coffee shop downtown of where I am! And I can’t remember for the life of me what it was called. But they have the best chai tea lattes and scones. Like omg. 😍

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

My friend Cydnie like two months ago. We traveled to this quiet spot near the water where we could see the big bridge of the city and see all the lights of the bridge reflecting on the water, and the stars were so bright, even with the light pollution.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

Right now tbh. I honestly love my life and everything/everyone that is in it. (:

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

Oh god, yes. My gut never steers me wrong.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I’m a situational pun person, so you only get one. From the last post. (;

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Brussle sprouts. They smell horrible and should fuck off. (Sorrynotsorry) lol

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

Fucking Spiders, I still can’t handle them. It’s such an irrational fear that causes me to hyperventilate. 😅

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

Records. The last record bought was a Mastodon album. Once More ‘Round the Sun, to be exact.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

Not odd but plush animals.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Doses & Mimosas. ✌

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YEAH BOIIIIIII

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I looooooooove them. Bettlejuice is bae though.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

One of my friends at work, I was very concerned. ):

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

Put myself in awkward situations which calls a lot of attention to myself. (That’s also funny because I comically prove points)

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

Geniune emotions, intelligence, good humour. I find people that just embrace their weirdness and what makes them so very endearing.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

Honestly? It made me extremely happy. And I definitely reenact the lyrics, Every. Damn. Time.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

I’m the wine mom. Because I love wine firstly and because I’m all loopy and come up with stupid but silly ideas for fun. Plus, I’m like super over caring and giggly intoxicated.

Vodka aunt? Oh man, that has to be Matt. He gets so fucking queenie while drunk. And he even goes overboard and gets to the point where he can barely walk. I love him though, he’s hilarious.

59: what’s your favorite myth?

Vampires. Because low key, I would love to be one if that was even a possibility.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

I love poetry. I have too many favorites tbh.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

Oh god, I can’t really think of one. On both ends.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

Uh not really but if I did, I would drink Orange or Apple juice.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

Ehhh I just leave them be tbh. I’m really not fussy about it unless there’s a chance of them getting damaged. Then I freak out.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Blue and the sun is out very brightly.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

There are many friends that I miss dearly, and I would love to see them all again.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Multicolored, vibrant and just free.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

At peace honestly. I love when it rains and I love gloomy weather a lot.

68: what’s winter like where you live?

Not as cool as I wish it was. It snowed here once, and it was just an inch of freaking snow. Which is lameee. But like it’s humid here so it’s weird when the temperature drops and rises. Along with it being so bipolar here.

69: what are your favorite board games?

I always loved Candy Land for whatever reason. It’s the simplest game and a fast playing game. But I guess that’s why I love it. The simplest things make me happy.

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

Naaaaaah. And I really don’t plan on it. Call me what you may, but I don’t want to attract any negative energy in my life.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

I love green tea.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?Depends on what the information is, but for the most part I have a decent memory.

73: what are some of your worst habits?

I have a bad habit of not brushing my hair every day. My hair is freaking curly and when I brush it, it gets all frizzy. It just doesn’t work. But I regret it when I brush it after a shower the next day.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

Short, coloured hair, absolutely hilarious, EDM lover, chill af, loved by most, knows how to have a good time, and a really kind heart.

75: tell us about your pets!

I have a German Shepard, name Attila and he is fucking adorable. And huge.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

I should probably do some laundry, but I really can’t be bothered to do so.

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Omg pink all the way! I’ll settle for yellow if that’s all you have though.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

Is there an indifferent club? Because that would be where I stand. lol

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

I really think of the cutest. I have had a lot of cute things done for me. Plantonically and romantically.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

There are white, I did not choose this colour. And I would paint it if I could, but alas, I’m in an apartment.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

The eyes that I’m imagining are the deepest blue I have seen. It’s like staring into the ocean and seeing the waves rushing around. There’s a storm in those eyes. And just seeing the waters calm, is like the sun comes out and the blue becomes bright and looks like the sun glistening on the waters of Bora Bora.

82: are/were you good in school?

I was pretty chill at school. I didn’t really do homework though and I skipped class a lot. Which I really regret now, but when I go back I’m planning on being completely focused and working towards my goal.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

Mastodon’s album covers are nice tbh. Plus some of the EDM artist artwork are beautiful ngl.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

I have so many tattoo plans, if I even started to explain all that I wanted there would be a novel here to read. Haha.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

Nah I don’t. It never called my attention, but I never even tried so. Hmm.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

Ehhhhhh.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Lord of The Rings Phantom of the Opera&&&Moulin Rouge.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

Not that I know of really. But I’m open to explore them!

89: are you close to your parents?

I’m really close to my dad. I have no relationship with my mother and that’s whatever tbh.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Tumblr post: “I’m in love with cities and countries I never been to.” I can’t even pick a favorite yet because I haven’t gone to them yet.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

If I had the money, there are many places I would be travelling this year.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Droooooowns my pasta in cheese. I fucking love cheese, man.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

I wear my hair down the most, I really don’t do much with my hair. Other than wash it and go.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

My queenie boo Matt. We went out to dinner and then went to a gay bar for karaoke, it was so lit.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

I really don’t think that far ahead?? All my plans are very spontaneous. The way I like it tbh.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

I have no computer and it fucking sucks.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

ESFP! Sun Taurus! And Ravenclaw!

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

I went hiking like three or four months ago? With Cydnie and Matt. It was really fun. Even though we couldn’t find the waterfall.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Pretty Girl - Cheat Codes X Cade remixStay Free - Proto ft. DjodieFriends - Chase Atlantic Drowning - Eden ProjectMad Hatter - Melanie Martinez(There’s so many more)

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

Five years into the future, because I would like to know if I’m on the right path to a good future or if I have changes to make. The future scares me the most.Plus, I wouldn’t change my past because that’s what made me who I am today. And I like to think I’m a pretty great person. (:

That took fucking forever, I had to really think about this. It was fun though. So thanks. Haha.✌

#asks #anon #answers

[lennoncarroll]

i.

the blake-carroll household is quiet. all too quiet due to the fact the dark haired boy with boisterous laughter hasn’t been home in days… weeks… months. this keeps the elder blonde, with her hair knotted on her head, ironing the nonexistent worry lines out of her uniform for work and waiting for keys to discover the front door’s lock with ease - like before. she misses him, she does, and while she scolded herself for sending her boy — her baby boy off into the harsh streets with nothing but a farewell, good riddance. as a mother, one who was already concerned about who he was hanging out with and what girls were kept in his company, it was putting her at the edge that she pushed him into whatever harm’s was lying ahead.

she had fucked up royally, in laymen’s terms.

because while the boy was smart beyond his wits, he was still young and naive to fall for anything that sounded good — that seemed as if it was glazed with a sweet coat of honey. he may have seen a lot, did a lot but at the end of the day, she knew the truth witnessed in those very eyes and the futile warnings of staying out, staying away only seemed to gravitate him further to the deep end with no opportunity of escape.

he should’ve been here by now.

presently, she was pacing back and forth in the living room. terribly manicured hands toyed with the cross pendant dangling from her neck as lines of prayer fall from her lips quietly, other things managing to slip out as well.

“forgive me, father.”

“you were right, mama. i couldn’t do this by myself.”

“you probably hate me for not raising your son right. i wish you were here. i need you h-.”

the alarming sounds of the door trying to open takes her out of her senses, rushing to the door immediately and opening it to reveal the nearly desperate appearance of her son.

lennon.

his name wants to escape her but for a brief moment, she’s rendered speechless when her emotions dominate her system a little too quick. it’s then that she pulls him into her arms and into the house, despite the fact that he’s begging, pleading with her to let him go.

but she doesn’t. because she’s too overwhelmed, too elated with the fact that her boy has returned home. when she does lets go, their presence has engulfed the living room but the awkward tension from their last encounter still lingers in the air. she wants to give him the most and she offers him food, something to drink, anything but his reply is simply,

“no.”

and she understands that. why would he want anything from the same woman who practically didn’t want anything to do with him when she didn’t realize the signs before?

instead, she performs the task that she had created for when she asked him over earlier.

“maybe you should come back home. for everyone’s sake and for my damn heart not to have palpitations every three minutes, wondering if you’re okay.”

the words that his mother, meredith, speaks are almost soothing and soft to the boy she’s standing over while her baby blue eyes travel his disheveled appearance once and then, twice over. she didn’t really have a good look at him when he first arrived, too busy caught up in her reunion moment that it simply was overlooked. now, that she sees it, her lips twitch for a frown but she manages to stay composed under the observations being made.

dark circles linger for permanence underneath his bloodshot eyes, ones that she remembered being so different a long time ago. his dark hair is unkempt with a desperate call for some help since it’s nearly splitting at the ends. his body lacks the weight it possessed months ago with his clothes nearly swallowing him whole and most essentially, it’s taking everything within her not to resort to the old days of giving him a bath. he looks like death to the say the least and while she knows that he definitely knows this, it’s no point to argue considering the fact that she’s got him right where she wants him.

“every three minutes? that’s a trip to the doctor, don’t you think?” he cracks a joke, his hoarse voice sounding like its aching for relief.

“don’t be a smart ass, lennie.” she smiles, softly, her hand hesitantly reaching to run through his hair and she loses her nerve when he lets her. “you know what i meant.”

“i’m fine, ma.”

the two words that were once a lie through his years of middle school and st. agnes we’re making an appearance again. hearing them for the first time in months, it sounded like the truth because of the fact that he had been so accustomed to what his surroundings were that nothing else mattered. he was good, despite what weird looks he received and how people utilized this soft, almost “i’m not gonna hurt you” tone of voice whenever he spoke with them. he was better than good. he felt invincible in the sense that nothing could hurt him, nothing would hurt him since his form was high in the clouds and reluctant to descend back to earth. so what, if he appeared to be a ghost of his former self? so what, if the distance between him and his friends were increasing dramatically? who needed friends at this point? who needed anyone at this point? he was perfectly content with cruising down a lonely road with just him, himself and… —

“you’re not fine, baby boy. i think i know you better than that.”

with those words, her other hand traveled to his where his chin and jawline met, cupped it gently and perked his head up so she could really look at him, really see what it’s done to him. she couldn’t recognize the eyes that were trying to rip away from her state of concern terribly, the sucking of his teeth that was produced accompanying it as well. those once electrifying blue eyes were presently pale, swimming in a state of unconsciousness though he was awake and clouded with uncertainty.

“i get that you’re eighteen and you want to do things for yourself but living in nixon’s poolhouse or wherever you decide to lay your head at night, isn’t right. you may not want to hear that right now but it’s true, and i’d rather have you home then – …” her words cut off in an instant. with the knowledge of the words that had been engrained in both of their heads since the moment she discovered that a ten year old lennon carroll had successfully stolen a few items she didn’t remember buying during a trip to the corner store.

“ … in the streets, yeah. i know, i’ve heard it before.” lennon finished, wanting to roll his eyes at the statement.

it was peculiar to him how he did the exact opposite whenever he had the chance to, that roaming the streets were much more like a home to him than anything before especially now. it felt like every person he discovered became a distant relative, in some sense, and that’s just what it was: a dysfunctional family. so he listened — more like endured the lecture his mother was spewing with his leg bouncing animatedly to keep his nerves together before her lips found his forehead sweetly, then telling him to go upstairs and get some rest.

so he followed that instruction, not long before sneaking into the bathroom and shifting through the medicine cabinet for something worth to hold him over until tomorrow. the door shutting, the mirror revealing a face full of features that belonged to him but not so much anymore. his nose was running, that much hadn’t changed, and he took a short look at the bags collecting under his eyes and then, sucked his teeth soundly as he left the small room.

lights flickering off in a haste.

ii.

“what do you want, kid?”

the elder looks at the young boy who he remembered to have so much potential, who was bright and going to be somebody out of this neighborhood, long and hard.

lennon’s body is twitching, aching after what seems to be an eternity of not having his fix. he tried his hardest to score some cash — taking whatever he deemed fit and selling it off for nothing close to the item’s original price. but that doesn’t make sense to him anymore. nothing does at this point because when you’re high, nothing truly matters but the drugs.

he rubs at his arms, in attempts to hide the grimace threatening to appear on his features at the thoughts trickling in his head to get the rest of the money. it made him feel as if there was a thick coating of slime covering his skin, as if the dirt claimed residency on his body and that not even a million showers – scorching hot water pelting onto his back, couldn’t fix the damage that was done.

“you know what i want. i don’t think i have to spell it out to you anymore.”

he coughs more like hacks up whatever’s plugging his throat, looking around the park with that feeling creeping up on him again. that feeling of someone following him, that someone’s there to get him.

“when are you gonna learn that this stuff can kill ya? i’m not trying to have a death on my hands here.”

lennon rolled his eyes at the elder’s words, wanting to deliver a snarky remark but resisted.

“listen, man. if i wanted the same tired ass story about me killing myself, i would’ve went to one of my friends and last time i remembered, we’re not fucking friends. now, are you gonna give me what i want or do i have take my money elsewhere?”

“you know what? fine. it’s a slow night anyway.”

after short deliberation, the man sighs loudly as if in defeat and exchanges the baggie for the money with ease. lennon thanks him immediately, an immense amount of joy racking his system when he realizes that there was another bag added to his usual inventory. his face scrunched at the recent observation, the rainbow of pills at the bottom of the clear bag is making his head spin for some reason and he wants to ask a question but the elder reads his expression quickly and explains.

“Don’t be an idiot about this, kid. The white and yellow ones are the ups, right? The pink and blue are downers so don’t try to turn that shit into some metaphor to remember, alright?” the younger boy nods his head, still fascinated by the pills in his possession. “they should hold you over ‘til you get some more cash. so, listen to me: don’t fuck that up. if you do, i can’t help you, alright.”

lennon nods again and quickly heads home. he addressed that he’s back to his mom before heading up to his room. retrieving the two bags out from his pocket, a thought dawned on him for the first time since the short walk home.

“oh, shit. fuck.”

which ones were the ups again?

he couldn’t remember.

the one thing he was supposed to remember but couldn’t.

it wasn’t like he could’ve phoned the guy, either. He never answered the phone for whatever purpose.

he couldn’t think. he couldn’t bear to think straight right now with the more important task at hand so he did what he did when he didn’t want his mom finding any of his shit.

He hid it underneath one of the faulty floorboards.

pictures of his escapades and adventures with the boys that weren’t to be mentioned by anyone but them, forged detention slips,  that st. agnes yearbook filled with his former headboy past and a long list of innocent individuals he sent to keating for the hell of it.

he stuffed the baggie into the floor, assuring that they were safe and sound and then, moving the board back into place to get to what really stayed in his mind. he pours some of the drug out on the surface of his desk, taking a moment to find the razor blade he regularly used behind the clutter of papers in one of the drawers.

“you promised,“ a voice whispers to him as he uses much of his effort to crush the rocks.

“you promised, kit,“ the ghost of his former self seems to scream out but he can’t hear it as the blade sorts the white dust into various lines.

what exactly were promises to a street kid like himself? promises were always made to be broken, though. It was a universal thing and besides, lennon was far too deep that half the words, half the things he told his friends that he could stop, were faulty to begin with.

lies, that’s all they were. lies to tie them over and deliver some sort of hope that maybe, just maybe he could stop but his willpower and consciousness was currently being flooded by the presence of his dark lifestyle.

the strung out boy braced himself for the first line, the tip of his nose pressing slightly into the desk before he dragged his nostril along the white powder. fingertips touched his nostrils as he sniffed, throwing his head back a little as his eyes gazed up at the cracked ceiling. his heartbeat is thundering in his ears like all the other times, feeling as if it’s going to burst out of his chest any moment. he repeated this process a little while longer, a warm sensation washing over him as he finished. his heart nearly leaped at the sudden intrusion of knocking, making him lean against his desk to catch a bit of his breath.

“lennon?” his mother’s voice echoed, muffled by the door.

“i-in a minute, ma!”

his finger swipes along his desk for the remnants of the drug, then sticks his finger into his mouth and his fingertip rubs at his gums rushed. it’s not long before he sweeps the evidence into the drawer, throws an old book over the surface of the desk and then, pretending to be in his usual state when he opened the door.

with her hair pushed back into a ponytail and the appearance of her uniform, he assumed she was off to work but if that was the case then why was she standing here?

“i just wanted to know if you needed anything before i left out. i left you a plate out on the stove and- are you feeling okay? you don’t look too good, baby.”

he dodged the hand reaching for his forehead and instead, leaned against the doorframe.

think of something good, carroll. you can do it.

“i’m good! never better. in fact, i’m gonna be even better than that because i was uh, i just gonna heading out anyway,” he lied, treading into the room and grabbing his jacket quickly. “phoenix wants us to come over to his new place – remember? i think i told you about that the other night! him, gina and that jessie rodriguez girl are all living together now, remember. i told him living with girls was going be a bit of a challenge and i guess that’s coming into fruition sooner than i originally thought but uh, gina won’t forgive me if i don’t make an appearance so i’ll be with them, alright?” he pecked her cheek quickly, then carried himself down the narrow hallway and down the stairs.

he deflected the cautious words his mother gives him when he leaves the house and all he wants to do is find somewhere to enjoy his newfound state of euphoria.

iii.

“what do you mean you flushed it, ma?”

presently, lennon carroll is performing resistance towards the anger and frustration wishing to dominate his system right now. he was just arriving home from the time he spent out when to his surprise, his mother was still at home, waiting for him. evidently, she had other plans than what she once told him and that was going into his room and discovering things he thought she’d never find. he knows that she’s joking, that she would never do what she’s telling him she did, and that if she knew what he had to go through in order to get his fix that she would definitely be singing another tune.

“i meant exactly what i said, lennon dennis carroll,” she assured him, snapping slightly when her hands arrived on her hips. her eyebrow raised at his overwhelming reaction and pursued his fleeting body upstairs, to find him sitting on the bathroom floor with his hands masking his face. “i flushed all of it so you don’t have to worry about that anymore. how did you even figure out that thing with the floorboards – you know what? i don’t even want to know right now.”

what was wrong with him? the more important question was: where did she all go wrong? maybe the mothers in their neighborhood were right, after all. there was no absolute way she could handle nurturing and providing for a young boy, especially when he desperately desired the knowledge and strength that his father possessed. maybe she had been idiotic for so many years; idiotic for assuming that she didn’t need anyone, for declining help from her own parents when they offered and more importantly, for being so stubborn and selfish for falsely assuring his father that they were going to be okay, that he didn’t need someone to tread in and out of his life where he deemed fit, no matter how much of a success he claimed to be since it was given to him on a silver platter.

she should have done what was right but it was too late to speak about regrets – the should’ve, could’ve, would’ve of this situation.

it was time to take responsibility for these actions.

“it’s one thing to be out all hours of the night but it is another to start selling drugs.” she tells him, her voice shrill from the shouting she’s doing. “did your scholarship fall through or something? you don’t talk to me anymore so now, i have to pretend i’m pulling teeth here and for what, huh? for you to gallivant around here, thinking you’re some big -

“no.” he croaked, the usual ability of handling the situation by maintaining his piece, by remaining quiet and enduring these lectures, failing him.

“excuse me?” she wondered in disbelief.

the boy huffed out in frustration, hands flailing up and over his head and eyes narrowing at the form currently standing over him.

“i said no. is that okay with you? can i utter that for once, in my life?

i’m not that fucking stupid to assemble a drug ring in this goddamn house with you always up my ass all the time,” he spat towards her, the expression her features had taken were indescribable in the sense that shock and confusion were battling for permanence.

it was all crashing down, brick by brick, and the both of them couldn’t exactly be forced to assemble the fortress they forged together again.

not at this exact second…

                                              minute…

                                                                                moment.

“i… -- i am so exhausted, ma. i really am. i can’t sleep. i can’t eat. i find myself bored – no. irritated by the same things that brought me an ounce of happiness in my life like basketball and i – i’m tired of you telling me what to do all the damn time. i’m sick and tired of everyone telling me what’s wrong with me like, like they know what i have to deal with every damn day of my life.”

by now, his voice was wavering slightly and the tears swelling up in his eyes, were threatening to fall.

“i’m tired of this, returning home every day and having people whisper that i’ve wasted my potential. i know that! i don’t need anyone else thinking that because we couldn’t afford to send me off to columbia and sometimes… sometimes, i fucking wonder how different things could be if i wasn’t here, if i wasn’t – if i wasn’t…”

“if you weren’t what, lennon? talk to me.”

“if i wasn’t getting high every day, that’s all.”

the confession falls from his mouth as he crawled towards his mother, wrapping himself around her legs and hugging them as if they were his final lifeline. the woman above his figure couldn’t handle the overwhelming news of his truly honest activities, and choked out an uncontrollable, dry sob as one of her hands arrived at her mouth and the other delivering gentle strokes to his hair. the moment remains still for what feels like an eternity, the both of them coming to terms with what this night has delivered them.

“that-that’s why i need some money.” lennon’s voice then rasped, warm tears flowing freely from his eyes, rolling down his sullen cheeks, onto her skin and wetting his shirt. “please. i-i need a few bucks, j-just until i figure something else out.”

“you’re sick, baby,” she manages to croak out, her eyes shutting momentarily from the reflection from the medicine cabinet had given her. “i think you need something else right now.” she whispered, completely unfazed by the words he recently spoke. “i’m going to give you the money but first, i need you to do something for me, okay?”

and he nods, anything to receive what he truly desires.

#「 ✰ ゜ ． × — ❛ and so the soap opera is told and it unfolds › self. 」 #「 ✰ ゜ ． × — ❛ tell me the story again would you please? › self para. 」 #( * // my mind was going a 100 mph typing this up so ahhhh . #drug use tw

[deactivated-gutentag6]

Soulmates!Markhyuck

Summary: In this world, dreams are synchronised between soulmates. So after a nightmare, Mark and Donghyuck discover something they’ve been oblivious to for years.

Members: MarkHyuck, feat a little TY Track and Yuta

Warnings: cringey af ending, general fluffiness, bit of angst

Slippered feet padding quietly across the floor, Donghyuck took deep breaths in an attempt to calm his shaking. The other members were all asleep at this hour, the red lines from his alarm clock revealing it was 2:17am and the soft snores emitting throughout the dorm reflecting the time. The loudest snores came from the room he was headed to - Jaehyun was a deep sleeper, a characteristic that Donghyuck had always secretly been thankful for as it would act as an excuse for Donghyuck to visit Mark during the small hours when they should be asleep, knowing that Mark was often driven awake (and occasionally to insanity) by the bear growls emitting from the bed three feet away. The reason for these late night excursions was always a lie on Donghyuck’s part; quickly blurting an excuse about the cliffhanger for his favourite manhwa leaving him too buzzed to let his breath fall into the same gentle pattern as the others, or revision for an upcoming test he had to pass in order to keep Taeyong off his back.

But Donghyuck invariably sought the comfort of Mark’s predictability. In an industry where his life was constantly changing, Mark brought the consistency that Donghyuck needed to make it through the day. He did things at the roughly same time every day, waking early to practice at the studio before leaving for school, studying for a short time when he arrived back at the dorm before he left after dinner to once again return to the studio, then coming back in the early hours of the morning - always waking Donghyuck when he heard the familiar footsteps walking quickly yet softly past his door. Donghyuck could somehow sense Mark in one way or another - he could feel his presence if he entered the same room, instinctively knew if he was feeling down or excited, and his head always snapped up when someone else mentioned his name. He seemed to gravitate towards Mark, as wherever he was, Donghyuck wanted to be. And recently, it had been harder to hide his growing affection for the older boy.

The others were starting to notice when Donghyuck would follow Mark like a lost puppy, or immediately pay attention when the conversation moved to something surrounding him. To the other members it was no more than simply a deep bond of friendship that they could not fully understand, but Donghyuck constantly worried that they would eventually realise where his attachment came from – though he denied it himself.

As the other members teased his affinity for Mark, Donghyuck knew that he had to cut down. So as much as it hurt him for some reason, he attempted to distance himself from Mark when other were in the vicinity – he always felt a tugging on his heart and a shortage of air when he strayed too far knowing that Mark was in the same room. Donghyuck told himself that he was simply having withdrawal symptoms from spending too much time with the older boy, and he would feel better with time. But somehow, Donghyuck couldn’t resist sneaking into the room that Mark and Jaehyun shared when Mark returned in the small hours of the morning; in these short, precious hours before sleep would finally overcome the two they would talk about anything and everything. It was easily Donghyuck’s favourite part of the day (although it was technically night), and miraculously he always awoke feeling refreshed after these conversations when he had only managed to salvage a few hours sleep.

So it was a surprise to him that on this particular night, when Donghyuck gently pushed the bedroom door ajar, that Mark’s bed was empty and cold. He frowned at the uncommon sight, he had been rid of sleep when Mark opened the door to the dorm over an hour ago, yet decided not to disturb him as Mark’s footsteps sounded heavy and tired. Another tug on his heartstrings as he thought of Mark overworked due to their multiple comebacks and shows.

Still shaking softly Donghyuck padded to the kitchen at the other end of the dorm, Taking note to be especially careful past Taeyong’s room as he knew he was like a hawk and would return him to bed in an instant and possibly result in Mark being caught out too, wherever he was. He wondered briefly if he had gone back out without Donghyuck realising. He hoped he was safe.

The sound of water hitting the basin immediately made Donghyuck jump, almost dropping the glass cup he held tightly in his grip but managing to compose himself quickly. He cursed himself for reading his manhwa directly before bed; he never did well with horror before sleep engulfed him and would almost always end up with a nightmare as he had envisioned tonight. Donghyuck once again found himself pining for Mark’s comfort in the dark dorm, where anything could jump out at him or steal him away. Shaking his head, Donghyuck sipped his water before placing the glass into the sink where it would be washed by a diligent Taeyong in the morning.

Familiar warmth spread over Donghyuck as he passed the couch prompting his eyes travel to the small figure curled up on the furniture. A smile engulfed Donghyuck’s features as he watched the gently sleeping boy. Mark stirred in his sleep at the presence of Donghyuck, fluttering his eyes open to meet with the younger boy’s above him. Donghyuck’s grin was contagious, though he tried to hide it once Mark opened his eyes, and he found himself grinning alongside him before remembering his dream which caused his features to return to the emotionless void they were in his sleep.

Donghyuck caught onto this, and tilted his head slightly to the side. “What’s wrong?” he asked, pouting in an attempt to bring Mark’s smile back. It worked immediately.

“Ah, nothing,” he shook his head, as if he was trying to shake the nightmare from his mind. He sat up properly, removing his legs from the seat to allow Donghyuck a space to sit, which he gratefully accepted. The pair sat in silence for a moment before Donghyuck broke the air between them as always.

“Why are you in here anyway? And why didn’t you grab a blanket or something? It’s cold in here,” Donghyuck shivered, and so did Mark involuntarily at his compassion.

“Jaehyun,” he answered simply, before jokingly emitting a roaring snore which made the younger boy laugh. Mark’s features lit up once again at the sound, before trying to straighten his smile. He couldn’t make it obvious.

“Ah, Mark-Hyung, my dorm is always quiet. You should bring your stuff and sleep in there; we still have that empty bed from when the other trainee left.”

Mark was about to answer when he realised that a more serious look had taken over Donghyuck’s features.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just had a weird dream . . .”

“Really? Same! Though I would call it more of a nightmare than a dream,” Mark recalled, his body slumping against the back of the couch. Donghyuck pulled himself closer to him on the couch, and Mark rested an arm around his shoulders.

“To be honest, mine was a nightmare too. I just didn’t want to say, I thought it might have been embarrassing,” Donghyuck laughed awkwardly.

“Donghyuck-ah, it’s not embarrassing. I’m your hyung – your friend – we tell each other everything, right? I’m not tired anyway, let’s talk about our nightmares.”

Donghyuck’s heart sank when he heard those fatal words – I’m your friend – but he nodded anyway, eager to spend more time with Mark. He relayed his nightmare, featuring one of their teachers as a giant bat, clawing at Donghyuck for not turning in his assignment on time and making him retake the entire year while forcing him to leave SM. Mark studied his face anxiously, confused at Donghyuck’s nightmare.

“That’s weird, I had the same dream,” Mark said, perplexed. Donghyuck glanced at him before reaching over and grabbing his freezing hand from where it lay beside him.

“Mark-hyung, how funny would it be if she really were a bat? Not the rest of it, just . . . a bat teacher.”

Mark laughed at Donghyuck’s comment, a hand flying to his mouth to stifle the giggles in case it would wake Taeyong.

“It would be pretty hard to learn, wouldn’t it? I mean, unless she spoke Korean, but I don’t think bats can.”

And so the two boys laughed and delved into a conversation about the strangest dreams they could remember having, too engrossed in their chat to remember the words they had been told when they were young and hoped it would be at least a couple of decades before it would happen:

The soulmate’s synchronisation of dreams.

An hour passed of the pair relaying their strange dreams to each other, all with themes too similar to be a coincidence, before realisation hit Mark.

“Donghyuck-ah, you know what this means, right?”

“What?” A puzzled look crossed Donghyuck’s face before he realised what Mark was about to say. He scooted further from him on the couch, as if to escape Mark’s gaze and the impending rejection he was sure was about to come.

“Donghyuck-ah, we’re . . .” Mark found himself unable to finish his statement as he looked at the younger boy shrunken away from him, terror written across his features. Mark cleared his throat, making Donghyuck jump slightly.

“You know, it doesn’t have to be in that sense. A lot of people just end up being really good friends with their . . . soulmate, best friends even! Like we are right now! Nothing has to change,” Mark tried reassuring the younger boy.

Donghyuck fought back tears.

“Yeah, that sounds . . . that sounds good. We can be friends.”

“Are you okay? You seem upset. Finding your soulmate is a huge event, especially if they’re not someone you want to be with-“

“It’s fine, Mark-hyung! I’m fine!” Donghyuck snapped, jumping off the couch and striding towards the door in a few steps before opening it, then slamming it loudly as Mark stared in shock. It took a few seconds for him to react, but angry footsteps emitting from the direction of the bedrooms brought him back to reality.

“Did you just get back?” Taeyong demanded, a sleepy Yuta following close behind.

“No, hyung, I got back ages ago-“

“Then what are you still doing up? Get to bed!” Taeyong was practically exploding with anger, built up frustrations at plans for the group and outside factors building up.

“Get some rest. We all know you need it,” Yuta yawned, almost making Mark giggle from his snarky comment.

“Hyung, I-“

“What was that noise, anyway?”

Mark looked at the floor, embarrassed.

“That was Donghyuck.”

“Did he go out? At–“ Taeyong glanced at the clock, and his eyeballs nearly popping out of his head, “3am? Damn, I’m – honestly, I have no control over you!” Taeyong stormed towards the front door, but stopped in his tracks when he looked at the sink.

“Did he leave his fucking glass in the sink again?!” he roared, already turning the tap on and taking the washing liquid from the cupboard.

“I’ll keep him busy. You go after him,” Yuta winked at Mark, catching him off guard.

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew, were you two blind? Honestly, I- never mind, you better go. I’ll explain to him, he’s so oblivious he doesn’t even know what day it is most of the time,” he answered, holding back a laugh as he saw Mark’s perplexed expression. Mark thanked him silently before running to the door and letting it close softly behind him. He wasn’t even halfway down the hall when he heard Taeyong’s booming voice erupting down the hall.

“You let him go too? It’s 3am! They can’t be outside; they need to go to sleep! They have school and practice and-“

His voice was cut off as Mark entered the stairwell, his feet subconsciously carrying him up to the roof. As trainees the two boys would often escape up there where there was the only the dancing city lights and noise of cars rushing past on the busy streets of soul, rather than the constant chatter they were subjected to in the dorm. They found themselves up there often with each other or alone, but never with another member. It was a sort of unspoken rule between them, a place only they could go. And so Mark knew he could find Donghyuck up there.

Mark finally stumbled up the last steps, pushing the heavy rooftop door open and catching his breath before he faced Donghyuck. He was surprised to see him leaning against the tall barrier that surrounded the rooftop, his face in his hands.

“Donghyuck-ah,” Mark whispered softly, but he didn’t turn round. Instead, Mark slowly made his way towards him beside the barrier, and didn’t fail to notice when Donghyuck moved himself slightly in the opposite direction.

“It’s okay if we’re not together, I don’t mind, honestly. You don’t have to be with me-“

“Of course I want to be with you, Mark!” Donghyuck cut him off, his fists clenching at his sides and slowly turning to face him.

“All this time! Ever since we’ve been trainees! I always sought you out in particular, always tried to make sure we would room together, practice together, debut together . . . and now, you’re rejecting me! Telling me that you just want to be ‘friends’! But I can’t be friends with you Mark, not now that . . .”

Donghyuck started crying softly at the surprised expression on Mark’s face, knowing that he had ruined their friendship. He cursed himself, if he had just kept his feeling to himself then here wouldn’t be this already growing void between them. If he hadn’t grown so close to Mark, this would never have happened. Donghyuck turned away from Mark just as the older boy began to smile, not wanting to let him see him cry over this.

“You’re such an idiot, Donghyuck.”

At these words, he lost control even more and his quiet sobs became a crescendo of gasping breaths as tears rolled steadily down his face.

He didn’t notice Mark move towards him again, laughing slightly at how naïve Donghyuck was. He did however, notice when Mark spun him round by the shoulders to face him before pulling him into a rib-crushing hug. Donghyuck grabbed the back of Mark’s sleepshirt, holding onto the last opportunity he would have to be this close with him.

“You’re such an idiot for thinking I don’t want to be with you, that I don’t like you. Of course I like you, Donghyuck, maybe even – fuck – maybe even I love you. You’re such an idiot, you nearly broke my damn heart when I thought you were rejecting me, I –“

“Mark, shut up for two minutes,” Donghyuck laughed shakily, calming his tears before he pulled back from the hug and saw Mark’s face. He was surprised to see tears mirroring his own falling down the boy’s face, and pulled him back into his arms even tighter.

“Maybe I love you too,” Donghyuck whispered into his shirt, knowing that he’d never have to let go again.

#nct #nct fluff #mark lee #mark lee fluff #nct mark #nct mark fluff #nct scenario #mark lee scenario #nct mark scenario #donghyuck #haechan #nct donghyuck #nct haechan #donghyuck fluff #donghyuck scenario #nct donghyuck fluff #nct donghyuck scenario #nct haechan fluff #nct haechan scenario #nct markhyuck #markhyuck #nct markhyuck scenario #nct markhyuck fluff #markhyuck scenario #markhyuck fluff #soulmates!markhyuck #soulmates markhyuck #nct soulmates #nct au #mark lee au

[crystalelemental]

Atelier Sophie Opinions

Atelier Sophie is the most laid-back Atelier game I know, and will probably remain as such since Firis apparently brings back a time mechanic.  Sophie is, I feel, a solidly average game.  I have few complaints, but there are also no elements that stand out as particularly exceptional compared to other entries.  It’s just all-around good.  And you know what that means?  I finally have a baseline to work as a comparison between all other games in the series!

CHARACTERS Sophie - Sophie is your happy-go-lucky alchemist, who is generally cheerful and wants to do her best.  She earns a lot of points for being completely willing to bypass alchemy training in favor of just getting the cauldron of knowledge, and has some excellent reactions to character jokes, with my favorite being her just leaving when Tess makes any sort of suggestive joke.  She's a fun one.

Monika - She's alright.  Not the most interesting in the bunch, but decent enough.   She's very religious and is a great singer, and spends a lot of time with the church helping out with the kids.

Oskar - Okay, I hate this guy, and I don't know why.  His character isn't BAD, he's just kind of a bumble-headed nitwit.  He runs around ignoring his job and talks to plants a lot, with this mentality of "plants are better than people!"  It just rubs me the wrong way, like those people who insist pets are better than people. They're not, and they'd be just as shitty as other people if they could talk and weren't reliant on you for survival.

Julio - A knight of the church who is tagging along with Sophie, hoping to find alchemy to help some guy who was turning into a monster.  He's a dedicated knight whose creed tells him to focus on helping the people in front of him, heedless of consequences.  Which...alright.  I can appreciate that. Again, not the most interesting in the bunch, though.

Harol - Similar to Oskar, I really don't like this guy.  I think it's the same issue, where he just ignores his job for the longest time.  Whereas Oskar is just an idiot who runs off to do his own thing all the time, Harol actively avoids it for fear of not living up to his father.  He's at least a little more understandable, and his story arc isn't bad at all, I just don't like him.

Corneria - An oddball.  She's from a different land, but doesn't know her father or apparently where she's from.  She's on a mission to find out, though, and uses her duplication alchemy to hopefully spread the word until either her father comes to find her, or she hears of him.  Duplication alchemy allows her to make multiple copies of items, which she sells back to you.  She's basically your wholesale shop.  The oddity is she reportedly shrinks when using this power?  I dunno, it's weird.

Leon - Objectively best girl.  Leon shows up and just kinda settles into the town to make clothes.  She's tough, confident, and is generally just a pleasant character to have around.  I also would like to offer massive credit to her character for not once pulling an uncomfortable fanservice scene like almost any other character in her role would do.

Fritz - This guy I like.  He's a retired mercenary who loves puppets, and creates dolls routinely to put on excellent shows.  We don't learn a lot about him, aside from he's a bit eccentric, but that's all I really needed.  I appreciate the guy a lot.

Plachta - I have odd feelings about Plachta.  On the one hand, she has the most history and is one of the most significant characters in the game.  On the other, a lot that is shrouded in mystery until the end of the game.  She made the Cauldron of Knowledge, sealed it away, and helps you get to it, only to remember she sealed it away so her former friend/current enemy can't revive with it and cause problems with their dangerous alchemy.  She's given a doll's body, and I feel like that's appropriate, because she's fairly flat-affect, but willing to go to extremes to prevent catastrophe.  She's outright willing to kill her friend, and did so once before, just to stop them from causing problems with a bad form of alchemy.  All of this should line up perfectly to make a character I really appreciate, but for some reason she's just okay.  I really don't know why.  More of her personal history may have helped, but...right now I'm just not that invested.

Tess - Tess works at the Cafe, and constantly has on a bunny outfit.  I...am not sure why, but...sure.  She's very plucky and energetic, and a goof among goofs.  She winds up being alright as a character, which I wouldn't have expected at first.

Pamela - The ghost girl from the Arland games returns, only this time she's a nun for some reason.  She's still dead and definitely a ghost, but is here, somehow.  There's a point where they mention a teddy bear, so it almost makes me feel like this is prior to the Arland games?  Weird.

Logy - Oh, and Logy's here.  But not the Logy we know.  He looks the same, but is a blacksmith, not an alchemist.  He seems to have little to no knowledge of alchemy at all, and...quite honestly, it's very confusing.  I have no idea what's going on with this.  Is the implication that this is post-Dusk trilogy and this is like a descendant or something?  If this is trying to tie the last two trilogies together, it's doing so in the most confounding way possible.

Horst - Bartender man.  I have nothing of value to say about him.  He sure is there.

Marguerite - I probably spelled her name wrong.  I’m not fixing it.  She’s Oskar’s mom.  She earns points solely for calling Oskar out on his bullshit of leaving his job to go talk to plants.  Nothing else stood out about her.

Luard - Some guy really into Ablution Alchemy.  It's this super dangerous form of alchemy that takes from nature and produces very little, but what it produces can be anything.  See, your form of alchemy takes few resources, but can only produce certain things with the combinations you use.  You're limited in that sense.  Ablution Alchemy can take any resources and produce anything it wants, but it needs a lot more stuff to make it work.  Luard is really into this, because you can get anything you want.  Luard's more focused on the present and what's good for the here and now, while disregarding future problems.  He'd be really interesting if there was a sufficient justification for his actions beyond just really wanting to be able to pull this off.  There's something about a village that experienced famine, and was solved with Sophie's brand of alchemy back in the day, but it doesn't really inform his motivations in any way.  He's just a bad guy for the sake of having a bad guy, I feel.  Also, it kind of irks me how they introduce this form of alchemy, which would be an excellent way to explain how the Dusk started, after Shallie messed up their ending.

STORY The story is simple.  Sophie is an alchemist working in the town of Kirchen Bell. Her grandmother, who was also an alchemist, recently passed away, and Sophie inherited the atelier, as well as a book that begins to talk and float when she writes a recipe into it.  The book is Plachta, an alchemist from the distant past, whose memories have been lost.  Your goal is to bring back Plachta's memories, at first to find the Cauldron of Knowledge, which will allow any alchemy to be performed at any skill level, and later just to help Plachta out.  As her memories return you continue to progress toward attaining the cauldron, and learn more about Plachta, and why she was sealed in a book, and why her memories have gone missing.  It's not too bad, and there's an attempt at a twist in terms of introducing the antagonist, but it was pretty easy to see through so nothing special.  The game’s strengths are entirely in being an easy-going slice-of-life style story, and I can appreciate that.

SETTING I feel like this is in an odd place, in that the setting suggests that alchemy can be used for negative purposes which created the Scar of the Land.  We also get the specific name from Ablution Alchemy, which is the alchemy that takes up considerable natural resources to produce little in response, but you get anything you want.  It's an interesting idea that can showcase how a disaster arrived, and it's pretty easy to see how people might gravitate toward that form of alchemy over something more limited but eco-friendly.  The damage it can cause is established and present within the world, but at the same time, we don't get the same grand feeling as in Ayesha or Escha and Logy.  There's an issue, but it's still in a phase of "people shouldn't do this and as long as they don't things are fine."  We're not at a level where things are just too late and we're trying to pick up the pieces.  So while the location is fine with some interesting elements, it feels a bit less unique due to being an easily remedied problem instead of something that should be nigh-impossible to fix.

ALCHEMY SYSTEM This is a big change.  When performing alchemy, you select your materials, and then place them on a grid within the cauldron.  Within the cauldron, there are locations with differently colored dots that, when you place a material on them, adds a significant amount of bonus to the trait meter that item occupies.  The color of the dot doesn't matter so much as the color of the material.  For instance, if you have three effect bars, and you choose a red, blue, and green material to occupy each, you're going to have a rough time getting to maximum trait effect for all three.   However, if all three materials were red, it would be much easier.   Why?  Because there's a counter at the top of the screen that tells you what percentage of the cauldron is occupied by which element type.  If you have scatter, the element levels are going to be low, and only the highest is applied.  So if you had the red percentage at 20%, green at 15%, and blue at 10%, only red would be applied; the other two would gain no bonus at all. However, if all three were red, you might have a red percentage at 65%, and then each bar gains an extra 65% of what they had.  It's kind of complicated, but again, in that sense where it's easy to learn but hard to perfect.  I love it.

There's also a difference in the type of cauldron used.  For instance, depending on how you develop your cauldron, you can flip materials horizontally or vertically or rotate them, and some effects can give you bonuses to elements depending on how many orbs you collect.  The type of cauldron used will directly determine the outcome of synthesis, and you can swap between cauldrons as you wish.  This creates a very dynamic synthesis system that's largely based on selecting the appropriate type of cauldron, and putting in materials in the correct order, and the correct locations, to best apply traits and properties of items.  It's a delightful system, and definitely the high point for this game.  The only real drawback is that it sounds like a 5x5 cauldron is optimal in many cases?  Because bonuses are based on the percentage of the cauldron occupied, a smaller sized cauldron has the benefit of applying higher bonuses.  There’s also the issue of the best cauldron being a synthesis of all other cauldron effects, including the one where you have 60 seconds to figure it out, which I hate.  Of all the things to put time pressure on, why the most delicate option?  It doesn’t even really do anything beneficial for you, it just makes you run the risk of failure, which really only means I have to soft-reset ten billion times to make sure I get it right.  It’s just a level of tedium I didn’t appreciate in the end-game.

BATTLE SYSTEM Battle is odd.  XP output feels very low, across all enemy types, and so level ups are hard to come by.  However, level ups are also tremendous.  I've seen characters gain 10 points in a stat in one level up, which is like 5x the typical output of a level for this series.  Other characters have gotten things like 8 attack, 7 defense, 9 speed in one level, which is just unreal.  This would make it seem like Shallie, where stats are tremendous, but with a low start and a massive buildup.  This isn't quite the case, as it turns out.  Final stats in Sophie are actually surprisingly low.   That's because your max level is 20.  At level 20, you stop gaining stats. Level 20 isn't hard to hit, and I'd say I got there around mid-game.  The real fun starts after level 20.  You continue to gain XP, and to gain "levels," but instead what you get are skill points.

Yes, skill points are back, and are way more fun, because they seem more specialized.  You still have the standard few that boost stats by a minimal amount, and the skills that improve on your attack skills.  However, there are many that are specifically tailored to characters as well.  Some, like damage reduction, are available for everyone.  But most characters seem to have a high degree of specialization, such as Harol being about cutting wait time between skills dramatically, or Cornelia being about incredible speed to ensure more basic attacks, or Monika being about improving healing skills, reducing damage, and boosting evasion. It's far from a perfect system, but it's tremendously improved upon the Shallie method, and I really love the changes.

If there's one thing I can definitely lament, it's the weapon and armor creation system.  They went back to basing it off of improved cloth or ingots, and you can't just take one piece of armor as an ingredient to add to the next stage up. This is incredibly bothersome to me.  Worse, with the quality cap being 999 again, it's really hard to reach max quality for some things, and outright impossible to do so for the best weapons/armors, unless you utilize a glitch in the game.  Needless to say, that's exactly what I did, because if it's in the game it's fair.   Maxing out your quality is known to flat-out double the base stats of the armor, so it's a very useful thing to accomplish.

The other detriment is enemy variance.  There are not many enemy types in this game.  There are a lot of locations, but it gets annoying when you travel to all these spots only to be visited by the same like 5 enemy types repeatedly. Considering the limited number of different enemies available at all, it makes it especially crappy that so many are just re-skins.  By mid-game, I had encountered maybe 15 different enemy types max, and of those 5 were puni types, and 3 were wolves.  I'd really like to see more variance, or at least more of the concept of "here's a big, one of a kind enemy type to fight for funsies."  I don't think I encountered any bosses until really late in the game, which...not gonna lie, kind of a downside.

Last thing to note: there’s a damage stat to weapons.  No, not your attack, your damage.  This is a very odd distinction, in that attack will tend to push your characters damage toward its upper limit, but damage numbers ultimately determine how much you deal, such that a change in damage from like 30 to 40 can result in hundreds of extra damage being dealt in combat.  I have no clue how the formula works.  All I know is, everything is based in these damage numbers, because if you get them high enough, the game’s just over.

OTHER MECHANICS Plachta's memories are the core of this game.  See, unlike previous games, where you learn synthesis by purchasing or obtaining reference books and materials, this game has you figure things out for yourself.  Sophie has to come up with the idea for a synthesis from battling monsters, gathering specific materials, or getting specific traits on synthesized items.  In some cases, you even gain ideas by examining certain locations.  Plachta, as your reference book, will give hints about what to do to find the ideas, at which point you are then able to synthesize them.  Certain items, however, are locked behind Plachta's memories, and you need to synthesize or complete requests or battle tough monsters in order to unlock those memories, and be able to progress. You remember how I said the motivation counter in Shallie seemed pointless? Sophie keeps the idea of not having a time limit, but instead introduces Plachta's memories as your mechanic to keep you moving.  You can mess around and gather things you need to make better equipment as long as you want with no downside, but you need to get around to quests and things at some point or the plot won't progress.  This makes Sophie just about the most relaxing of the Atelier games to date, as there is literally no rush to accomplish anything at any given point.  There are exactly two missable events: one is for the true ending and is easily identifiable, and the other is for a specific character event, which you are given several notifications about prior to its occurrence.  It's such a laid-back game, and honestly, that's really nice.

Speaking of Plachta, there's a mechanic where you put different materials into her doll body to enhance stats and thankfully change her ridiculous outfit to something better.  I...never really used it.  I did it twice: once to test out, and once upon learning you could change outfits if you changed her qualities, so I immediately shifted her ridiculous default to...okay, the other one was also ridiculous, but at least she had real clothes.

Vouchers are back as well.  When you complete quests, you gain vouchers, which can be exchanged for certain items.  Some items are great, some are garbage.  Unlike in Rorona, I never really felt the need to get vouchers?  The accessories seem good overall, but often have points of being sub-optimal. They'll likely get you through the game no problem with them, but I can likely create better once I unlock the recipe.  With no time limit, there's no harm in making things myself, after all.

Also making a return is adventuring gear.  You have a bunch to choose from, but really you just want to expand the backpack's maximum capacity, increase the movement speed on the map, and increase how much you gather at one time. These items are great and cool and all...but are severely unimportant in the grand scheme of things because there is no NG+.  I am not sure why there is no NG+, but there isn't one.  This means that if you miss one of the missable events, have fun reloading a save or starting over entirely, idiot.  This also means that getting maximum effects on any of these items isn't as critical, as it won't really help you at all in NG+.  Seriously, removal of NG+ feels so weird.  It makes sense.  You have infinite time and thus can get anything done.  But it's SO WEIRD.

You can also give gifts to people, which I guess means this is a dating simulator game now.   Honestly, I hate that mechanic.  It doesn't really do anything, but it was necessary to participate at times because for the longest time Logy wouldn't unlock a place I needed to go, but after boosting friendship with several gifts he changed his tune.  For party members, this is wholly irrelevant, and you should never, ever do it.

Lastly, the rumors.  At the cafe, you can buy rumors.  Most are just information about characters and their preferences for gifts, but some are worth a couple hundred cole, and will unlock different enemy types, or different material types in specific locations, for a short period.   Let's just get this out of the way: rumors suck.  They are easily the worst part of this game, and probably the worst mechanic in the series.  The concept that materials necessary to character events don't show up naturally anywhere and you have to buy randomized hear-say about it, which then only lasts a short time, doesn't really make much sense.  Similarly, if there are going to be boss enemies, just have boss enemies. The fact that getting any of these things to trigger is hidden behind a massive pool of other rumors and which ones are available is 100% luck-based is just infuriating.   Having no time limit is the only way this is acceptable, but even then you spend a lot of time just sleeping to try and force the game to give you the rumor you want.  It's not the most engaging way to handle things, and the world honestly feels a lot emptier because of it.  Most regions tend to have the same types of materials and enemies, unless you activate the random rumors.  As a result, nothing about the location feels particularly more dangerous than anywhere else, so there's no real sense of progression.  Which leads me to...

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS The traits you get early on are really good, and at a very early point in the game, you can get Attack/Defense/Speed Boost/Enhance traits.  Thanks to infinite time, you can cycle through the traits to create the best possible combination traits, such as Well Rounded Power (+25 to all stats), and the +40 Attack/Defense/Speed traits as early as you want.   This results in a situation where you're blasting through everything with virtually no issue.  Because all areas feel very same-y, there's no location where the improved stats meet much resistance, unless you activate rumors.  Which I think is my issue.  In every other game, there are story-based bosses scattered throughout that you have to face, or at least areas that are super dangerous without new gear, in order to keep you on your toes and make sure you're pushing your alchemy skills forward.  That...doesn't really happen here.  You get the best traits really early on, and then nothing stands a chance for the rest of the game.  I'm not one to complain about a lack of challenge, but I am one to complain about having virtually no feeling that anything was supposed to be a threat.  There's no sensation at almost any point that something I randomly encountered was tough, or that any specific region was a threat.  It's all just...there, with virtually nothing to distinguish one place from another aside from which color the enemies are, and the two or three locations with any hint of lore behind them.   Coming off of the Dusk trilogy especially, this seems to be a lot more noticeable.

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS I have my own points about Sophie that I'm not a fan of, including my decision that I dislike not having a time-limit, but it's ultimately still a fun game that is way more laid-back than previous entries.  I think it hits a very solid average for the series, offering very little that stands out as something exceptional, but having no particularly significant flaws.

If you enjoyed this (for some reason), consider checking out the write-ups for the other games in the series as well!

Atelier Rorona Plus Atelier Totori Plus Atelier Meruru Plus Atelier Ayesha Plus Atelier Escha and Logy Plus Atelier Shallie Plus Atelier Sophie Atelier Firis

#atelier sophie #atelier series #atelier opinions

[thesamesandwicheveryday]

7.

Will came round today. He brought my sandwich with him. He brought my sandwich, a canary-yellow, large paper Selfridges bag with neat, wiry black handles, and a palpable sense of unease, and maybe even upset. He hadn’t spent any time planning this visit, it seems, because Will is someone who likes to keep everyone informed of all of his plans at all times, just in case anyone may add any curveballs to events, just in case someone might be late or is driving an unreliable car that could reasonably break down, just in case someone has a tip-off that the weather app on his phone might be lying to him and it will in fact rain on a day where he relied on it being overcast at its very worst, because Will thinks things through to illogical degrees at times, he doesn’t do things off the cuff unless he’s high or very drunk and even then, even when you really think he’s done something quite spontaneous or ran with his heart or even his body for a change, you may find out weeks later that Will plans his spontaneous acts with weeks of prior angst and worry, he will have kept himself awake all night not only thinking about what he’d like to do, but of a thousand reasons why that thing could be the thing that causes the end of the world, that Will leaves a friend’s house at 6am instead of 7am, and then unbeknownst to him, that transgression ripples outwards and the sun supernovas, the earth loses its gravitational pull, birds fall dead from the sky as riots, looting and fucking in the street ensue, because the universe is imploding, and it’s all because of Will. I should’ve given him a key. I said to him, after I answered the buzzer phone, ran down the three flights of stairs, opened the door and guided him back up three flights of stairs all over again, I should have given you a key, but he said nothing, and when we got in through my front door I collapsed down on the sofa, but sickeningly healthy Will stood in the kitchen, breathing steadily, both hands on the counter, nodding his head toward the Selfridges bag that I hadn’t seen him lay down by my table. I thought it was a gift, and immediately after thinking such a thing I wondered if that kind of entitlement really gets anyone anywhere, and then I was quickly taught that no, it won’t, and it’s foolish and immature, when Will told me that he’d done a final sweep of his home and these were my last remains. Before I had a chance to look he already told me its contents: two nightdresses; a red hard-backed notebook that i had intended to be a dream journal, but so far hadn’t been written in (not that he’d looked, he’d never do that); a cheap but sentimental key fob that i bought as a souvenir from Blackpool Pleasure Beach (me and Will on the log flume, of all things); a couple of novels Will bought me, thinking I’d read them; my Le Creusset casserole dish that I hadn’t been able to find recently; and finally, a blister pack of diazepam, 8mg preparation, with thirteen pills missing and only one remaining. That was the first thing I noticed before anything else, when I heard him say that I went over to the bag and fished it out, and after double-checking with Will, it was definitely mine and not his by mistake, took it there and then, and I told him, ‘You’ve got five minutes before this kicks in.’

And he did speak. And for a change, I had to let him speak. It was nothing catastrophic, nor was it tragic or heartbreaking, he just stood there like a best man giving a speech for a friend he knows he’ll never see again, lost to a new wife he only knew as a colleague. He said “I don’t want you to think this is any kind of exorcism or cleansing”, which, as an opener, suggests to me an attempt as a kind of exorcism, or maybe a cleansing. He followed smartly and shortly with, “but it’s time, isn’t it?”. It didn’t seem time, he didn’t seem happy, and I clearly haven’t missed half of that stuff or I’d have asked for it before now, wouldn’t I? I wondered if this had anything to do with Kitty, so I said, “I wonder if this has anything to do with Kitty?” and when he said that my phrasing seemed accusatory, I told him I had just been a victim of spontaneously thinking out aloud, and he laughed, the insensitive bastard. But he’s right, and I came round to that off my own back, because we all have a Kitty somewhere. Ben’s moving in very soon, we knew this was going to happen — no, I don’t mean to word it as if his inevitable moving in with me is like the inevitability of chicken pox, I mean we knew this was going to happen because we’ve spoken about it for two years, and if he doesn’t that's the end of us, and Ben really doesn’t want that to happen and I’ve never given an insincere ultimatum. I felt as if I could be seen as peevishly pulling the plug out of frantic spite when I said to Will that just as we knew we’d have to tone down our friendship a bit for Ben’s sake, maybe a full shut-down is more apt, given past animosities and now this quite ceremonial purge, and I don’t know, it’s weird isn’t it, getting drunk all the time, taking valium together. Will seemed to sting slightly when I said that, like I was scripting his life somehow, and that split-second face he gave me, like a peacock ignored, made me wonder why he’d wasted four whole years, shedded so many unnoticed quills for me. I didn’t say that to him, because I feared he might have a well-prepared answer, either a vengeful one recounting beautifully each instance of my bad behaviour and what that means about me, or worse — an elegy of sorts, something plainly beautiful instead. All of these thoughts I had sat on the janky futon, Will and the blue corona of sad light around him, and the waxen blue it made his face, and the inky blue it made his hair. I think that might have hurt me, and I’m not about to get hurt, not when I’ve got Ben — yes, hello, Ben — I said, as soon as I remembered: “he’s moving in next week” and Will said, “I know, I just said this whole thing…” and then asked me  why I’d interrupt him precisely there, then asked this time if I’d just listened to anything he’d just said, and it occurred to me I hadn’t at all. Ben’s not called in days but then he doesn’t really, because if I learned anything from my time with Will it’s that it’s probably not healthy for a couple to talk every minute of every day, because whilst I may not really know the logic behind mine and Will’s separation that summer, we both were saying things about that, about what it’s like when you live in each-other’s pockets, drinking gin and watching game shows, and how even if it feels like those are the happiest days of your life, they’re probably killing you. “Ben’s moving in next week” I said, and Will said he was happy for us, honestly, but he doesn’t know the man. And Will had this look of very vague confusion, I wondered what he’d mislaid when whatever he said next came out of two mumbling lips, inches below quite a Stan Laurel furrowed brow, and then a half-laugh without me noticing the gear change, and I said, “Ben’s moving in next week”, and Will said, “you’ve made your point”, but he said it like he was proud of me. He left about three or so hours ago and I've had this sandwich sitting in front of me on my plate for no more than twenty minutes. I took a bite and it has cucumber, so I put it back down and I’m just psyching myself up again to eat it, because Will would have planned how this just went down to the letter, and if I know Will — and I think I do — if I don’t actually eat it, the world might end. I’m going to pour a big old brandy, and I’ll just eat it really fast with my eyes closed so it’s just over really quick. 

[papermoth-bird-blog]

Mexico: The pals in Playa del Carmen.

I’ve never related more to being a person of Baltic bloodlines, than I have being in Mexico. Between my pale skin & the heat-- I have to take super extra precautions so I don’t exhaust myself. Even though I am doing my all time adult-best at wearing sooo much sunscreen, I am clearly not drinking enough water. Yesterday I kinda paid for it & was feeling quite ill. Man, I feel like I constantly have to have water in my hand just to keep up. I do realize I’ve never really been to a climate like this, and so, I suppose there are some adjustments to be made. Especially having lived in the Maritimes for over 6 years- where it rarely reaches temperatures close to 30. The remedy for me has been fruit- any and all fruit- as much as I can at all times. 

Katie & I spent our first few days taking it easy under the scorching heat. Both of our hair grew so big in curly, It would have stirred jealously from any 80s hair band. We ate at a cute little taco place the first nice. There was a man with dreads who pulled up right beside us and started loudly serenading us as we tried to eat. It was kinda funny in the end. For some reason I decided the thing to do was get a margarita- because “when in mexico”. With one sip I now fully realized any remaining affinity for alcohol had vanished from my system entirely. I am simply not interested in any kinda way. So I gave the massive thing away. 

When we got back to the apartment, Ramin (katie’s friend that we were staying with) was home. Ramin is like this big, tan, German Aquaman type human. He works as a scuba diving instructor, and so, has moved/traveled all over the world doing so. Katie & him had met in Guatemala years ago, and managed to reconnect in a few different locations over the years since then. He is friendly and open minded- yet still intimidating in the way Germans can be sometimes. 

The next morning we woke to Eli making his strange little cat noises at us from outside the window. We had to go get him because the apartment has like four different key/lock situations to get into. A bit excessive- we decided. On a side note- there seems to be so much fear mongering in/about Mexico, specifically geared towards tourists. It really is difficult to tell whether that is warranted in any kind of way. I tried not to listen too much, knowing how fear works & spreads. That being said, I was being safe & cautious & paying attention to my surroundings always. If not for “stranger/danger” purposes, certainly for the fact that drivers here are absolutely chaotic (although maybe not as bad as South America). 

Eli & I went to a cute little cafe called cafe choux choux, eager to get out of the house. We stayed there a long while partaking in many breakfast items & some fancy lemonades. Even the fancy places here and still affordable, even for someone on a budget like me. The cafe was clearly the place that a lot of ex-pats gravitated to. The group that sat beside us flickered between speaking spanish, then english, then french, then german, depending on who came up to greet them at their table. We stayed for a long while, basking in the atmosphere & playing on our computers.... and mostly waiting for Katie. We wandered over to another cafe called BiOrganico & had some lunch. Katie & I then wandered off to explore the market area of Playa Del Carmen.

We were in search of a few things neither of us had- sun glasses, sun screen, shorts, sandals. OKay- I know that seems like almost everything you need for a trip to Mexico, but to be fair I had absolutely no idea when I left for my trip that I would end up here. Happy that I am, but my bag was not packed according to that. Actually even looking at the wool sweaters in my bag gives me the heebie-jeebies. I can try my best to set the scene of Playa to the best of my ability- but I should perhaps preface it by saying that at one point, this was a natural paradise. First there were small rental houses, then hotels, then bar and bars and bars. These days there are McDonalds & Subways & Forever21s. Which feels weird, of course. It’s one of the most rapid & evident gentrifications I’ve ever witnessed. But in many ways, I realize my complicit behaviour in all this- I probably wouldn’t have ended up here without it. Although it’s probably what I least enjoy about it. As you walk down the street everyone is trying to sell you something- of course they are- Tourism is basically the only driving industry out here. Especially being a woman, you get all kind of weird comments like “You need this” “don’t get lost” and the most classic “Do you need a Mexican Boyfriend.” Katie was obviously quite angsty with all the comments. I tried my best to tune them out & live in the happy little peaceful world in my head.

The plant life is beautiful & so too are the birds. In playa del carmen, however they are groomed & tamed in a more manicured way. Woven in amongst the huge heaps of concrete jungle that has been superimposed on the jungle paradise of the Yucatan Penninsula. I won’t say it truly overwhelmed me, having just spent so much time in much bigger cities. I understand how it could, though. Especially with the added trickiness of the language barrier (though many folks do speak english). Katie & I continued to stroll around, stopping in to buy water at many points. We dared not sit down, mostly because the public benches were metal (WHY). We wandered over to get groceries and ate more tacos. Eli & Ramin both joined us- all of us sweating profusely, slowly stripping down into half-dressed states. Not in a sexy way. In a very, very sweaty way. Which was especially pleasant considering the extremely feeble water pressure in the apartment that made showering a challenge. 

We woke early in the morning on the 3rd day. The early morning is the most reasonable time to go out, without a doubt. By 10am it is already quite hot & doing anything other than chilling out, is less appetizing. We walked over to the beach to greet the rising sun & went for a swim. While wading in the growing waves, Eli told me all about the cheap healthcare here. He said loudly that I should try to get contacts here. I agreed- that would be great! Not two minutes later, as we laughed about something else, I suddenly got hit in the face with a big, aggressive wave. I felt my glasses fly off my face & over my head. The water was particularly thick with grey & seaweed. Though we combed through the water. There wasn’t much hope. It seemed the comments earlier about contacts had been taken as a dare from the universe. So I bumbled around without glasses back to the apartment to fetch my extra pair. 

Eli and I went to the glasses store later that day- he speaks Spanish which made the interactions a bit easier to manage. Although the two places we went to didn’t have my prescription in stock. It would take five days to get them,  so we decided it was best to wait until we got to Tulum to get them. But I have to say- I didn’t quite realize how much more affordable medical treatment is in mexico. For my contacts- the exam was FREE and three months worth of lenses were 48 dollars. I now understand medical tourism. It isn’t like it’s sketchy either. All the places we went to were clean & professional & so so friendly. Despite my blindness, the whole experience wasn’t stressful in the least. 

I will say I could feel Katie getting stressed. I mean I think it was a lot of things. Her personal life as of recently, has been super emotionally complicated. As she also had a bout of skin cancer not long ago- the sun has been stressing her out. She’s been staying in the apartment a lot as to how avoid it, but also I think she still feels overwhelmed by the “spring break” vibes in Playa. The apartment is small, and so at a certain point we certainly started to bug eachother in ways. It came to a head when we were supposed to go down to the beach for Danielle Moore’s ritual. She had wanted me to take more leadership in regards to it. I wanted to give her her space as she had clearly been in a grumpy mood all day. On top of that she refrained to the fact that she felt weird about the ritual all day. It resulted in us being entirely cross with each other at the beach, ducking between tipsy strangers & me eventually crying out of frustration. We decided it didn’t feel right to do a scared ritual in an emotion state like that. On top of that, we clearly had some stuff to talk through & so we went home and did that. We came to a place that felt nice, which was relieving for sure. Katie & I have never fought like that. I’m really glad we can still talk through it. We decided to do it in the morning- the beach would be empty then & we would both be cooled off (physically and emotionally). 

It did actually feel like that was the way it was supposed to go. We were mostly silent throughout the whole ritual, though we started it with a prayer- one we learned from the ashram. We made a mandala in sand with the flowers we bought & other materials we found on the beach. Then we sang a few of Danielle’s favourite songs. Doing the ritual felt so private in an internal world kind-of-way, but connected to all the friends & communities that knew her & loved her. Being a way from the physical communities felt difficult. I did what I could to stay connect & support the effort. I spent some computer time a talking to others organizing & fencing some tech-difficulties when the page went down. It was powerful & healing to feel connected in the small ways during this time. And to see so many talking power & inspiration to making the world better after such a terrible event. Mostly though, my attempts at support were done out of love- for Danielle, but also for Kluane. I wanted to be able to do anything I could support her in the ways she was grieving & working through that grief.

Earlier that morning- even before the sun was a a light deep in the horizon, Katie woke up to call Klu as she boarded her plane in Winnipeg. Klu herself said she was surprised she found it so difficult. Kluane has always been an avid & regular traveller, but I too of course understand that the circumstances of airplane travel have changed so much. Especially considering Klu was leaving from the Winnipeg airport, the same Danielle had left from only days earlier. My heart ached for the situation- but I knew that she was well taken care of. The flight attendants all knew & supported her throughout her journey. Katie went to the airport to pick Klu up, after we ate breakfast together at a downtown cafe. It was good for us to take time apart for a few hours & also I knew Katie would be there for Klu. Apparently when Klu came out, she was wearing a big Christmas sweater complete with Reindeer & Holly, as well. I love that through anything- these two women in my life still find anyway to make us all laugh.

After quite a bit of waiting, tidying & other bits and bobs on my end, the crew eventually returned to the apartment, ready to move onto Tulum. They picked up a fellow traveller named Geoffroy from Montreal & so we all piled into the car with all our luggage, cranked the AC and headed for the highway. 

On the drive we all talked about love & life- of course. And caught up with eachother in the ways that aren’t always easy over technologies. We listened to country songs on Katies phone between checking directions- as the sux cord wasn’t working in the car. When we finally got to Tulum, we spent a lot of time in the grocery store, where Eli eventually met us. I am still amazed at how inexpensive all the food is here. I thing that Eli kept reminding us all of was that Mexicans love their sugar. I guess I didn’t really realize how much until I tasted some of the items. I was desperate for a bit of ice cream in the car and so we Mcgivered one out of a lid & I ate pretty much a whole pint to myself. 

We rode around for a short time trying to connect with a few friends before getting to our house. There were some funny moments that involved various chain reactions of annoyed-ness. “I think he’s annoyed I’m annoyed at him” Eli said as we chased after Alex’s speeding car. As we sat waiting for Eli, Klu and I got a little over excited about a particularly lovely old chevy truck that we enthusiastically jumped out of our car to take a picture with, before realizing the owners of said truck were right there. We share a love for this one particular Femme-Queer instagram account called @Truckslutsmag. One day, we said we will be on it. That day is not now however- haha. Later, on our way to our house at long last, this truck full of Mexican tradesmen speed alongside us on the highway, pointing at us & the car. We didn’t know what the heck was happening, until we finally put the dots together that Katie’s phone was not in fact in the car, but instead on the roof of the car as we speed down the highway. We agreed something strange & silly was in the air. It seems there seemed to be a resistance that had built up, that hadn’t been there until this week. I suppose mercury is in retrograde, but I’m sure there is more at play for whatever reason. 

The house we are staying at it so beautiful. The outside is the most perfect eggyolk yellow colour. The rest is painted in warm oranges & reds, with details or light blue, white & dark wood colours. The main room is open concept (although it doesn’t carry acoustics well). There is so much space- we almost immediately went on to plan how we could come back & stay here with more friends in the future. Every room has a balcony. The roof top is easily accessable & oh so perfect for dance parties. The property has pretty flowers & desert plants nestled in beside the pool & house itself. When sitting by the pool, all sorts of birds come swooping in- especially these beautifully delicate flying swallows. Swiftly after dropping our bags in our respective rooms, we jumped in the pool naked. ...Only to later discover the owner of the house has security cameras all over the place. We laughed for a second, but promptly messaged him to see if he could turn them off while we were here. 

So far, I have managed not to get burnt. Which is a win for sure- seeing as I tend to burn extremely easily. I haven’t spent that much time in the city of Tulum itself, although I did go into town to get my contacts. The town of Tulum already feels much more low-key (in the SPRING BREAK kinda-way) than Playa del Carmen felt. The vibe is much more bohemian- health/healing type-people & shops. I mean it is strange though, it has that gentrified feel to it too though. Fancy pantsy, tourist/ex-pat places sit right next to little shacks held together with ropes. It’s an interesting experience in that way.

That being said- at the house at least- I haven’t felt more “I’m on vacation” feels since starting this trip. It feels weird to do nothing. I guess I’m enjoying it- but not more than I do doing stuff. I worry that I will loose my motivation to do anything at all. The heat has made me groggy & I’ve been falling a sleep in various places. That being said, I’m feeling more reclusive- Katie & Eli have gone to various ecstatic dance events- but I don’t feel terribly social. 

Having contacts has been a game changer though! Being able to see without anything on my face has felt really freeing. Although, I am still not great at putting them in & taking them out. But there is so much potential with having them! I can go in the pool & put my head under water without worrying! I can wear any costume I want without being confused! Also, so some reason I feel it is suddenly more appropriate for me to get a really weird hair cut. The world is my oyster, really. It may seem over dramatic- but after being bound to glasses for over a decade, to have my face back in my possession is freeing. 

[knittinganarchist]

the flower questions?? yeah bud do all of em go hard or go home

Ageratum: Are you friendly or wary of strangers?

I’m terrified of strangers but treat them unfailingly politely. It’s kinda the way your supposed to treat the fey; don’t trust them, but be very nice to them.

American Marigold: Is there anything you will not/cannot eat?

Keep your raw tomatos away from me pls. I don’t want their soggy soggy juices wetting my sandwiches/burgers/salads thank you.

Black-Eyed Susan: Have you ever given/received a black eye? Why?

I’ve never gotten or recieved a black eye because confrontation scares me and i avoid it At All Costs. 

Bleeding-heart: Do you open up freely with their emotions, or do you bottle it up until you burst? If you do hold it in, what is usually your breaking point?

I’m a big bottle of repressed emotional issues and worry 100%. My bursting point is usually after i’ve been too stressed for a couple of days and get over-tired, bc then i just start crying over something stupid, spill my guts to someone via text, and regret it absolutely the next day.

Butterfly-Weed: What is one thing that always makes you stop and admire, no matter what you were doing prior?

As someone who is both constatly distracted and looking for art ideas that a lot of things! Usually its either the outfits of people in town, or the sunset when im on the bus home of the evening. 

Common Yarrow: Do you easily blend in with the crowd, or do you wear/act so that you are noticeable and stand out?

Thats kinda tricky because i love wearing quirky opshopped clothed and ridiculous shirts, but i also kinda wear them in the hope that people wont bother me too much? I want to look cool, but not Too Cool.

Cornflower: Is there a color you don’t particularly care to wear? Is it because it clashes with your style, appearance, or any other reason outside of simple dislike for said color?

I don’t think theres a colour that i wouldnt wear? I dont wear a lot of green but thats more because i tend to gravitate to either warmer colours or crazy prints.

Creeping Zinnia: Do you listen into other people’s conversations, either idly or purposely? Has there been anything you learned from it? Have you gotten into trouble?

I absolutely do not. I feel so so terrible when i listen in and im so scared that they’ll say something very personal i should never hear. I wear headphones a lot of the time though so its not a huge problem.

Daylily: Do you have any daily routines/habits? Are they ingrained into you as a child or have they been recent additions?

I’m too scatterbrained to have too many daily habits, but the one that has carried over from my childhood is packing my bag the day before. For someone who worries a lot knowing im all ready for uni the next day, and having a vague idea of what i want to wear, is very helpful in helping me calm down before bed. 

Field Pansy: Have you ever gone and flown a kite before? Do you wish to do so if you haven’t?

Yes! There’s a big spare block up on a hill not far from my house, so when i was about 11 maybe(?) me and my neighborhood friends would make kites out of balloon sticks and rubbish bags, then ride our bikes up to the spare block.

Flowering Cabbage: Name one thing you keep, despite it being pointless or purposeless other than sentimental value or you simply cannot throw it away, and state the reason why you hang onto it.

Ummmm? Everything? I’m hopelessly sentimental. I’ve got clothes, books, letters, and dried flowers collected up simply because they remind me of happy times or people i care about.

Garden Impatiens: What causes you to lose patience? How do you react when you lose it?

Generally i have endless patience for others, but for myself? I’m constantly frustrated by my inability to concentrate for a long time, and when i’m trying to draw and it just Wont Work, usually that just leads to me just stewing in my annoyance for a few hours. 

Gooseneck Loosestrife: Is there anything strange or unusual you can do, or have noticed happening around you without an identifiable cause?

There’s nothing unsual that i can can do, although sometimes i wish that were true. Although i must say that art school has a ton of weird things i wish i could explain; like when you hear voices in a computer lab but you go in and its empty. Or the people who i swear i’ve never met before who stand outside the classrooms until you use your swipcard to let them in. 

Hosta: Do you enjoy the time out in the sun, or do you relax in the shade whenever you get the chance to do so?

I love the sun in every season except for summer, my pale pale skin cannot handle it at all so i stick to the shadows like a vampire. 

Ivy Geranium: Do you have any pets? If so, how are they doing?

I have a dog called Scruffy, who is cute but constantly a mess, and seven chickens all named after Doctor Who characters!

Japanese Bloodgrass: When was the last time you drew blood, either from yourself or from another? What was the reason?

I might have sliced my ankle shaving the other week because i was bopping along to the music i had playing and slipped...

Lady’s Mantle: What is one outfit you remember your mother/guardian wearing when you were a child?

My mum used to wear these striped tshirt dresses around the house all through summer, i actually got a few of these handed down to me!

Lambs Ears: Do you remember how old you were when the last time someone tried to censor their speech around you?

About 20mins ago... My mum was about to swear and just gave me a look before rephrasing hahah

Lavender: Is there a particular scent you are fond of? Do you smell this scent often or rarely?

I love lavender and rosemary in summer because it reminds me of the veggie patch that i planted near my back door a few years ago, but in winte hot chocolate and cinnamon are the best for feeling cozy.

Million Gold: How much money do you make, if any? How much money do you have currently?

I’m currently unemployed while i move out of home and settle in, but at the moment i’m housesitting so i think i get about $200 for the month, and then i dogsit again for someone else next month. Other than that my only income is from commissions..

Moss Phlox: Have there been any new friends you have made? What do you want to know about them the most?

Last saturday was my friend Katie’s birthday picnic and i met some lovely people there who i really hope i can stay in contact with.

Nasturium: Have you ever been the one to be told a secret? Did you keep it or did you share it with someone else? Was the secret worth being kept?

It’s not often people tell me secrets, but if they do tell me one i always keep it. I know how gross it feels to have someone betray your trust and i wouldnt do that deliberately to anyone. 

Ornamental Purslane: Do you wear any jewelry? Which ones are your favorites? Do you favor certain metals/gems/styles?

I don’t usually wear a lot of jewlery because i forget to change my earrings, and bracelets get in the way when im drawings, i used to wear a necklace all the time though. It was a teardrop shaped blue-goldstone on a silver chain, but my sister pulled it off when she was mad and it snapped. 

Rose Campion: If you had to fight, which one person would you chose to fight at your side? Would you pick them based on skill, on trust, or both?

I don’t know anyone personally who’d be any good in a fight so im going to have to say uhhhhhhh... either The Rock lmao bc he’d just punch danger in the face, or Ship ( @glumshoe ) because i just think he’d be prepared for even the weirdest stuff we could encounter.

Salvia-May-Night: What your habits/rituals you do when preparing for bed? How long do you usually sleep for?

The classic shower, facewash, text people who make me happy, and reluctantly set an alarm so i’ll get to class on time. I usually sleep fine all night no matter how early/late i go to bed, but i always wake up at 8am and have to check my phone to see if im late for anything.

Snapdragon: What sort of things would you hoard, if given the chance? Would you?

So so many things, its a good thing i dont have the chance. Books? Art supplies? Cool dresses? Pot plants? 

Snow-In-Summer: Would you rather have winter or summer? What are the benefits or reason to your preferred season over the other?

Autumn all the way. I love the coloured leaves and windy days, and its the perfect inbetween weather thats not too hot or cold.

Sunflower: Name one thing that will always make you smile.

Finding the perfect ugly/cool dress in the back of an opshop

Thread-leaf Tickseed: Are you an insect-magnet when you go outside, or do you insects generally leave you alone?

If im at home? for sure, i get a lot of beetles bothering me. But if im in the park at uni not so much for some reason.

Variegated Solomon’s Seal: What is one thing you wished you could seal away and never see/feel/use/etc again? Why?

99% of highschool to be honest, just a lot of Not Fun stuff.

Wheat Cockscomb: Name one thing you could do that you wished you could do, but cant?

Speak literally any language, i feel like it would open a lot of travel option up for me

Yellow Cosmos: What is your favorite constellation? Why? 

Cassiopeia! I just thought it was a neat myth, and also i used that as a name for a character in a grade 8 story story lmao.

[nathanjhill]

Bless the Earth

Scripture: Matthew 6:25-30

Rev. Nathan Hill

As anyone who has ever played a game of hide & seek, there are these six magic words that signal the beginning of the fun. First, like I do with Emily and Joseph, I tell them that we are going to play and give them a head start on hiding, then I count to like 10 or 20 with my eyes closed, and say:

"Ready or not, here I come."

Whether my kids have found their hiding space or have stopped giggling or are prepared for one of the world’s greatest hiders and seekers, I am on my way.

In this Living a Giving Life stewardship season, these words come to mind as I think of the many ways God blesses us in our lives.

You can even think of the story of Jesus this way - of God saying to humanity, "ready or not, here I come" - as God enters into our lives in flesh, as Jesus dares to face the worst of evil and suffering in our world through the cross, and as Jesus returned to us through the good news of resurrection, life overcoming death.

"Ready or not, here I come."

Ready or not, the blessing of resurrection is that it came without our help, without humanity enacting an all night prayer vigil or marching down the streets of heaven or checking off a long laundry list of chores. The resurrection was God’s doing in our lives - whether we were ready or not.

And there's something in that notion that gets us closer to the very heart and nature of God.

Our God, the God of the Bible, is a God who gives generously, sometimes before we are even aware or ready or prepared to receive the gift in our lives.

One of the biggest most generous gifts that God gives to each of us, in fact to all humanity, is Creation.

We are blessed to be born in this incredible, mysterious, beautiful earth.

Right now, we can recognize it easily - in the midst of spring: - in the leaves and grass dressed in rich green hues - in the flowers spun in their kaleidoscope of color - in the mesmerizing blue sky or shifting clouds of gray - in the sounds of swaying trees in the rustling winds - and even when we dare to look, in the wildness that interrupts our urban landscape with deer, foxes, squirrels, and even groundhogs.

(Did you know we have a groundhog living here in our church property?)

And all these incredible gifts come not because we prayed for it or created it ourselves or negotiated aggressively -

Ready or not, Creation is a gift to enjoy.

Jesus believed Creation was a gift.

In our scripture this morning, from the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus shows that he paid attention to the lessons and wisdom and divine beauty in the earth around him.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear." Jesus teaches.

That’s a hard lesson to learn - in Jesus’ day and in our present rush to earn money, care for our families, pay our bills, and meet all the expectations placed up on us. So, Jesus turns to Creation to show us what it looks like - the way God provides a divine provision for the birds of the air and a heavenly fashion line that bestows beauty upon every flower.

And if God cares for them, then how much more does God care for God’s children, God’s family?

Do not worry, Jesus says. God will provide.

In a mad rush to accumulate power and wealth and land and stuff, many of us have lost sight of the blessedness of Creation. We have been too often taught that the earth exists only for us to use as our own benefit. But this is an unbiblical way to view the beauty of Creation. The Bible speaks time and time again of our call to be good stewards of this incredible planet and cosmos.

Genesis 1:9-12 reminds us:

And God said, ‘Let the waters under the sky be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.’ And it was so. God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good. Then God said, ‘Let the earth put forth vegetation: plants yielding seed, and fruit trees of every kind on earth that bear fruit with the seed in it.’ And it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation: plants yielding seed of every kind, and trees of every kind bearing fruit with the seed in it. And God saw that it was good.

Creation is good, God says clearly. This is not a tiny statement to be overlooked - but what sets our faith apart from other ways of seeing and understanding the world as something to be exploited and destroyed for a short term benefit.

Even beyond stories of this earth being woven together, the Psalms tell us that Creation worships alongside of us, the oceans roaring and the earth shaking in celebration of the Living One.

In the Book of Numbers, God commands the people in very specific ways to use their pastures and fields for livestock and planting of crops. In the Sabbath rule, even these creatures get a day off.

And Jesus echoes all of this - by reminding us to look at the natural environment around for us clues and wisdom to help us live with less fear and anxiety about what is to come.

We are to trust that, ready or not, we are in God’s care.

Being a good steward begins by flipping the script on the way we see our lives and the things in our lives. All are gifts - our passion, our skills, our health, our paychecks, our homes, our relationships

This does not mean that we don’t work hard for many things - that we don’t stretch our minds and push our talents to the limit and reach for success and growth and opportunity. We do those things and sometimes we are rewarded for those efforts.

But even while we do those things, we breathe the air that is provided to us. We feast on the riches that come from the soil and water of Creation. We are bound in this rhythm of day and night and the gravitational pull of our spinning globe and its celestial neighbors that gives our lives order. We do not think about these things - we do not wake up and pray that God might rotate the earth again.

These things happen each day - and ready or not, they are a gift.

And that is why, if this is a gift, we must ask ourselves - in our lives, in our political choices, in our economic choices, even as a church - how will we care for this gift that enables our lives?

I remember as a child the first time I realized that this incredible natural environment - the dirt, the grass, the trees - could be lost. My dad and I had been working on changing the oil in some of our lawnmowers, and my dad kept the old oil to dispose of properly. But I was always thought that was weird. Why? I had this less than smart idea that oil comes from the earth, and so why not put it back where it came from?

When my dad was not looking, I dumped one of the small containers of oil into a patch of grass.

And a few days later when I went back to that spot in our backyard, I noticed with some guilt how the grass there had withered and turned a strange color. I had damaged a little piece of this living thing. Obviously, I learned a hard lesson that this Creation we live is not magical - it can be wounded and harmed and polluted.

You don’t have to look far - in our own Chesapeake Bay, in a floating mass of trash somewhere out in the Pacific Ocean, in the water crisis in Flint, Michigan, in many wildlife species pushed to the brink of extinction - to see how we have work to do to care for this blessed Creation. Are any of those an acceptable way for us as human beings to say "thank you" to God for this blessing?

And right now with the words "climate change" at the forefront of political debate and decisions, the questions that many scientists are asking us are urgent. I know that "climate change" gets used as a political football, but my concern is always this - if we get it wrong, the stakes are too high. The climate change models tells us that a warming of the planet will threaten wildlife, coastlines, ocean life, our economies, our food sources, and even create new conflicts as communities fight over disappearing resources.

A study released last year explored how the ongoing civil war in Syria was partly fueled by a major drought, a symptom of a hotter and drier Mediterranean due to a rise in temperatures, that displaced people, strained resources, and resulted in the soup that gave rise to violence and cruelty. See this resource: Climate change in the Fertile Crescent and implications of the recent Syrian drought

And again, this is not something that is happening somewhere else around the globe. While I lived in Dallas about 5 years ago, one of the ongoing disagreements between Texas and Oklahoma was about water and access to water, especially when drought hit the urban area of Dallas-Ft Worth. Texas needs more water - and Oklahoma didn’t necessarily want to share, because who knew when a drought was coming next for their communities?

These challenges will especially affect poorer communities, bringing more inequality to an already strained earth.

So what can we do to be good stewards of this blessed Creation which, ready or not, God offers us?

Some things we can do in our daily lives:

How can we use less so that we can give more?

Even if you are on the fence about “climate change”, one of the benefits of being a better steward of creation is that it gives us an opportunity to have more.

For example, I just went through my house ruthlessly and replaced our bulbs with LED versions. It was actually very cheap to do. On one hand, yes, this helps preserve electricity and makes my home more efficient, a small thing I can do as an individual to be a better steward. But also, by spending less on utilities each month, I have more in my budget to do other things - giving to the causes, like our church, that I support or saving for our future or paying down debt.

And this often applies across the board - eat out less to have more for other things, re-use and refurbish old computers rather than getting something new, or even use less gas by driving less. If you want inspiration, you can talk to Jim Duff who bikes to Baltimore for work.

This kind of simple, individual stewardship recognizes that our choices matter - and become a personal way for us to use less so that we can give more to God.

How can we educate ourselves on what is happening on our planet so that we can speak from our faith to care for this creation?

There are a lot of buzz words out there - “going green”, “carbon neutral”, and “sustainability”. How can we learn more so we can engage and discover where these concepts connect with our desire to live a giving life in response to a generous God?

At the end of the day, Creation is a gift - and I want my children, grandchildren, and all those to come after me to enjoy it just as I have.

One of the websites I regularly recommend to learn more is SkepticalScience.com - a website that breaks down the data in very common, simple explanations to more complex, mathematical, scientific breakdowns. There is always healthy debate, asking questions, pushing back on conclusions, and looking for specifics.

When we have that information and when we wield it with our faith stories, our voice becomes far more powerful - whether we are speaking to our elected officials, whether we are speaking to neighbors, or whether we are even engaging right here in our church about these issues.

As a church, we too are being called on a regular basis to be a good steward of our resources.

We are always open to ways to use less so we can give more to our neighbors in the name of Jesus.

We are always open to caring better for our little slice of Creation that we have been blessed with - and truly, this little slice of land, groundhog and all, are stunning.

Ready or not, God has blessed it forward to us - how will we bless it forward to others?

One of my colleagues, the Rev. Dave Bell who lives near Yakima, Washington and was initially called there to serve a historic mission to the Yakima Indian Nation there, writes often about spirituality and creation care. He has been inspired by the stories and witness of the Yakima people. He has been convicted by the stories of racism, genocide, and pollution of the Yakima people and their lands.

When he spoke at a recent conference I was at, he made this stunning claim - that every time the wind kicks up and kicks up dust in your face, the dust that gets in your eyes and covers your body is not simply an annoying thing to get upset about it - the dust is literally your ancestors - the people who lived and died for generations after generations - whose bodies came from the earth and return to the earth.

Since he said that, every time I run the vacuum or sweep dust out of the house, I can’t help but feel a little guilty - who am I sweeping up this time?

But on a more serious note, Dave’s point is this - every step we take on this earth, no matter whether it is here in Maryland or in Syria or on a distant island far from civilization, we change the earth. But likewise, with every step, we are changed by this gracious gift called Creation.

Human beings and this Earth are connected.

In Genesis 2, scripture tells us that God bent down, took a handful of dirt, and breathed into it to create the first human.

Ready or not, God has given us this life and this earth - God has charged us to care for it - even the precious speck of dust on our shoe - God has loved us enough to come and walk with us on it - how will we say "thank you"? How will we "bless the earth" and "bless this gift forward"?