#mark lee au

[elix8r]

it’s raining, it’s pouring

PAIRING: cheetah hybrid!mark x house cat hybrid!y/n

GENRES: hybrid!au, smut, angst, enemies to ?

SUMMARY: Hating Mark could almost be considered your part-time job ever since Taeyong adopted him. But on one fateful night, a raging storm strikes, and with Taeyong nowhere to be found, you find yourself seeking an unlikely source of comfort - your annoying cheetah roommate.

WORD COUNT: 5.1k

WARNING: meandom!mark, brattysub!y/n, profanity, y/n being really mean to mark, unprotected sex, manhandling, humiliation, degradation, anal, foot stuff, face-fucking, rough sex, overall filthy stuff

Up until three years ago, your life could be described as utter paradise. With Taeyong being the best owner you could ask for, and living in the coveted top-floor penthouse, you couldn't have any complaints. That was, of course, until your owner one day brought home another hybrid without previously warning you. Apparently, the previous owner of the cheetah hybrid was moving back to America, leaving him in need of a new home. Being the generous owner he was, Taeyong offered to take him in without hesitation (and without discussing it with you beforehand).

The moment Mark walked through the front door, your feelings towards the fellow feline were set, and they had yet to change. He was nothing but a nuisance to you, and despite being in the same cat family, he seemed to be nothing like you. You even attempted to paw at his ears many times before, trying to confirm if he really was a cheetah and not an overgrown puppy. However, each time, you would be met with cries and protests from him, while instinctively his claws extended, confirming that he was indeed a cat.

By now, Taeyong had accepted that you were never going to be best buds with Mark (though the latter still tried his best, despite knowing your response each time). In the beginning, he had hoped that you would get over your distaste for the boy and ultimately welcome him to the family, but as time went on and you showed no change of heart, your owner had to accept the reality.

Mark always took your food, bed, and even toys that were specifically given to you by Taeyong. He was an annoying presence in your life, who seemed to not get the hint that you wanted nothing to do with him. And as always, the exact thing was currently happening as you caught Mark rolling around and leaving his scent all over the new bedding that Taeyong had gotten for you.

"But yours is so much better! I just wanted to try it out, just a little, plus you smell good!" Mark's ears slightly folded down as he desperately tried to explain why you had found him sleeping in your bed.

"That's not my problem! Take it up with Taeyong if you have complaints and stop getting into my stuff. It's getting really fucking annoying and creepy you perv," you sent him a harsh glare, and your eyebrows furrowed in distaste as you could now smell him all over your sleeping area.

"Why can't you share? I mean, Taeyong always tells us to play nice and get along with each other, but no matter how hard I try, you never do! You're always so mean to me, and I don't even know what I've done!" Mark pouted, clearly upset with how you were reacting to him. From the beginning, all he wanted was to be friends with you, but you seemed to reject him at every turn.

"Why do I have to share if Taeyong bought it specifically for me? I mean, I was here first anyway. You should just be happy that Taeyong even took you in. Otherwise, you'd probably be one of those strays we always see outside. You should be thankful for what you got, so stop trying to take my stuff too. Anyways, get out of my room," you huffed towards your bed, barely giving him a second look. You knew that you were probably a bit too harsh with your words, but your annoyance took over, and you couldn't take back what was already said.

Mark was hurt and defeated. He knew there was no point in arguing with you so he nodded quietly and left your room and headed towards his, where he turned to his computer so that he would be able to take his mind off of you and focus on playing games with his friends.

"Bro, she's such a bitch. I mean, I don't know how you deal with her. I've only met her once, and during that time, she almost clawed my eyes out," his friend Jeno, responded sympathetically upon hearing about what had happened.

"Yeah, I feel bad for you, man. Me and Jaemin get along fine, so I can't even imagine what it's like living 24/7 with someone you don't get along with. Oof, it sounds like a nightmare," Haechan shuddered at the thought, and Jaemin nodded in agreement.

"Why don't you just fight back and assert your dominance over her? I mean, you are the stronger breed. She'll have to respect you once you scare her straight. Use your predator advantages, and maybe she'll realize that you're not one to be messed with," Jaemin suggested, trying to help Mark find a solution. His words did intrigue Mark, and he had to admit that he had thought about what Jaemin was suggesting. However, he had hoped he wouldn't have to resort to using his powers against you and that you would eventually warm up to him on your own.

Typing and clicking noises filled the conversation for a couple of seconds as they all played online together. "Yeah, I guess. I'll think about it," Mark finally replied.

And think about it he did for the next few hours as he continued to play games with his friends. The topic of you didn't come up again as they were all too engrossed in their gaming. Meanwhile, Mark remained preoccupied with thoughts of you. He was so engrossed in the games that he didn't realize the time or the weather outside, something you were keenly aware of.

Taeyong should have been home by now, yet not a single sign of him was to be seen. You had been waiting patiently for your owner while spending time scrapbooking. Every once in a while, you would peer out your window to see if he was here yet as you were always able to predict when he would be coming in. But today, he seemed to be taking longer. The sky had been turning darker and darker, which laid an uneasy feeling inside of you.

It was quite embarrassing to admit, but even at your grown age, you were still deadly afraid of storms. You were unable to withstand them without the comfort of Taeyong nearby, and with no sign of him, you were becoming antsy. Where was he? Was he okay? These were all thoughts that ran through your mind as you went through all the scenarios of where your owner could be, but every single one led to a bad ending that you didn’t want. So you tried your best to get back into crafting.

Of course, that didn't last long as out of nowhere, a flash of lightning could be seen, followed by a clap of thunder so loud that it shook the house. You yelped out loudly as you felt yourself tremble. The lights flickered for a couple of seconds as rain could be heard heavily pouring down, and now you genuinely felt fear. There was nothing you could do except tuck yourself deeply under your blanket while hoping for the rain to settle down, but your wishes were in vain as there was no indication of it stopping anytime soon, and Taeyong was still not home.

You had already tried texting him and dialing his number, but it went straight to voicemail, which further drove you to worry. What if he had decided he had enough of you and chose to leave you? This thought, above all, made your stomach drop, and tears pricked at your eyes. Despite it being totally irrational and unwarranted, it was still a possibility and it scared you. Suddenly, another thunder could be heard, which once again instigated a whimper out of you. Without fully realizing what you were doing, you found yourself walking towards Mark’s door.

You weren’t sure that you had ever knocked on his door purposely, but here you were knocking. Laughs and talking could be heard from inside the room and you wondered how he wasn’t bothered by everything going on. While you frowned while trying to pull your blanket around your shoulders tighter, the door finally opened and revealed a confused Mark.

You looked absolutely terrified, which was not a look he was familiar with despite living with you for about three years now. You were visibly shaken and your eyes were wide with fear. Instantly, Mark was concerned.

"Hey, what’s wrong?" His brows were furrowed as he noticed you on the verge of crying (though you weren't sure if it was because of the storm, the absence of Taeyong, or even the embarrassing fact that you came crawling to Mark's room).

"Have you heard from Taeyong?" Your usual catty tone was nowhere to be found as you asked with a soft voice.

Until now, Mark hadn’t realized that his owner had not come home when he was supposed to, but at the realization, he too became worried. "No, I don't. I guess I just realized that he hasn't come home yet."

His response made your eyes widen. It was hard to believe that while you were worrying in your room, the thought of Taeyong hadn't crossed Mark's mind even once. "What do you mean you didn't realize? I know he's been coming home later recently, but not this late! I mean, haven't you seen what it's like outside right now? Where is he?"

It was obvious that you were beyond stressed, and even without smelling you, Mark could feel anxiety radiating off of you. It was indeed storming terribly outside, and now Mark was becoming worried knowing that Taeyong was out there. But seeing your state, he came to the conclusion that it would do no one any good to have the both of you freaking out.

"Hey, I'm sure he's fine. I bet he's just waiting out the storm at his work. Why don't you come in here and wait together for him?" His words did not do much to ease your tension, but you did oblige (if it were other circumstances, you would never agree to enter his room, but desperate times called for desperate measures).

"But why isn't he answering my calls then? He knows that I hate storms, and I can't go through them without him! Mark, what if he's never coming back?" You had plopped yourself on top of his bed, eyes wide and lips quivering.

Mark sighed. "Y/N, now you're being ridiculous. Why would he just abandon us? He's probably not getting a signal or something more reasonable."

His dismissive response lacked empathy for your concerns, and you were now shedding tears. "What do you mean more reasonable? I think my concerns are valid! Maybe he's tired of us fighting all the time! I mean, we haven't been the best for him, and I know he's been having a hard time with us. It’s possible that he had it with us and just abandoned us to run away!"

The concern he previously felt was now gone as your dramatic rant slowly started to irk him more and more. Everyone knew that you were the main instigator of your fights, always being unfriendly towards Mark, so to have you group him with you had him scoffing. "You mean more like you were not being a good hybrid like you should have been. I mean, you're the one always instigating fights. I try my best to deal with you, but you're so bratty. Honestly, I'm surprised Taeyong's been able to deal with you this long."

Throughout the three years of living with Mark, you could only count a handful of times that he responded to you in such a manner. He was usually mild-mannered and overall just nice, so hearing this from him had you shocked. It was such a switch and instantly, you could feel his annoyance towards you in the air.

"Ma-Mark, what do you mean?" Your cries had yet to stop, and Mark rolled his eyes at you. Were you that dumb that you hadn't caught on to how frustrated Taeyong had recently been with your behavior? Taeyong was usually very tolerant, but even he was having a hard time with you.

"Jesus Y/N, are you seriously that stupid?" Even Mark was shocked at how he was talking to you, but this pent-up anger towards you had been a long time coming. He had been holding it all in, trying to be as good as he can to you despite your actions towards him, but now he was reaching a boiling point. He was beyond annoyed, and maybe this cold hard wake-up call was needed for you to start behaving better.

"I'm not stupid! Who do you think you are to talk to me like that, you fucking bastard?" You tried to sound strong while defending yourself against his harsh words, yet the tears seemed to not stop. Frustratingly, you got up to further confront him, but to your surprise, his hands came up around your neck and forced you back on the bed. Clearly, your words had further driven him to anger.

It was clear that Mark was angry. He had never put his hands on you this way, and in response, you were also fuming. How dare he put his hands on you? "Get your filthy ass hands off me!"

Mark didn't listen, though, as he pushed you further into the bed and hovered over you. His eyes held a fiery rage that you weren't sure you had ever encountered, certainly not from Mark. No trace of your bravado could be found, and for the first time, you cowered in his presence. Chills ran down your body as you felt his tail moving all over your bare legs. Amidst the fear you felt from the feline, another emotion bubbled beneath your lower belly.

Never in a million years would you have expected yourself to be turned on by Mark, but here you were, unconsciously purring in response to his actions. The once sweet and amiable Mark was gone, and this new version of him that showcased himself in front of you was one that you couldn't help but find yourself incredibly attracted to. Alas, you realized that you, just a common domesticated house kitty, were no match for the fast and strong beast that Mark presented himself to be.

"You know I've been quite understanding toward you. I put up with your attitude for three fucking years, yet here you are, still not realizing how much of a spoiled and ungrateful little kitty you've been. Despite taking all your shit, here you still are with the audacity to be in my room and still be a bitch when I nicely allowed you in to comfort you. It's obvious Taeyong hasn't been doing a good job taming you to be the nice house cat you're bred to be. But enough is enough, and clearly, the soft approach isn't working, so I guess I'll have to be the one to straighten you out."

And with that, he pressed his lips against yours roughly, making his intentions clear that he wouldn't go easy on you. Teeth clicked against each other and as the kiss deepened, you found yourself caught between conflicting emotions. Maybe, you did deserve this, but at the same time, you couldn't help but feel a part of you unwilling to surrender to Mark's dominance this easily.

His hands roughly dragged themselves all over your body as you panted heavily against his lips. In an attempt to take charge, you wrapped your legs around his waist, intending to twist him around and position yourself on top. However, his quick instincts kicked in, and he caught on before you could even execute your plans. He immediately pinned you under him again.

"Tsk tsk, I told you. I'm in charge today, and that little move you tried to pull on me is going to cost you now," Mark growled, and all you could manage in response was a small whimper. Your body struggled to adjust to not being the one in control.

His hands were burning hot as they hurriedly moved to strip you of the only article of clothing that you were wearing. It was a large shirt that engulfed you, and most days you had no issue with it being the only thing you wore around the house. You found it to be the most comfortable and unrestricting for your tail, allowing you to move freely without any discomfort. However, if you had been made aware beforehand of the situation you were currently in, you would have reconsidered.

Being fully bare in front of Mark while he was still fully clothed made you feel hot in humiliation, but you fought against your impulse to cover yourself. Instead, you held your head high and maintained unwavering eye contact with the male feline before you. A devilish smirk ghosted his pretty face as his eyes started to move down, unashamedly wandering all over your naked figure and taking in every curve, making sure to not miss a single spot.

“Get on your knees.” His voice was stern and Mark could feel his pants get tighter and tighter.

“What if I don’t want to?” You coyly eyed him, still stubborn and unwilling to give in as easily as you knew Mark hoped you would.

With a firm grip on your chin, he was clearly losing his patience with you. "Don't make me repeat myself again. Get on your knees," he demanded with less composure than before. Reluctantly, you complied, but your gaze held a sparkle of mischievousness, indicating your satisfaction at successfully getting under his skin.

Your hands moved at a tortuously slow speed as you undressed him, knowing that it would be more fuel to the fire already ignited within him. This cat-and-mouse game you seemed to be dragging Mark into was entertaining you like nothing else before. Any previous anxiety and worry you had regarding Taeyong were not even thoughts in your mind right now, as you were fully occupied with pushing Mark to the edge. Pissed-off Mark seemed to be your favorite version of him, and it was a shame that it took three years for you to be graced with its presence, but better late than never.

You must have underestimated Mark though as you suddenly felt pressure on your clit. His foot had flexed up roughly against your pussy reminding you of who was in charge. You were biting back your moans as he seemed to have no plans of moving his foot while you finally got his pants off. Yanking his underwear down with the pants, his dick instantly freed, almost smacking your face.

"Fuck, Mark," you marveled at the sight. Even from the day you met him, you couldn’t deny (no matter how much you wanted to) that Mark was beautiful, but now it was fully confirmed that he was indeed absolute perfection.

With his cock glistening and tip pulsing red, your ears twitched as you felt yourself getting even further dazed with arousal. Your hands hesitantly wrapped themselves around his length and you heard a small groan release from within him. Your hands were incredibly soft and nothing compared to anything Mark had previously experienced. The slow strokes became increasingly faster and with wide eyes, you inched your head towards his slit before tentatively dipping your tongue in his slit.

“Shit, keep going.” He instructed and you could hear his breaths get more erratic the more you started to use your tongue.

You ran your tongue over the underside of his shaft before returning to his head wrapping your mouth around it. Mark was insanely receptive as you could feel his tail once again swiftly moving around your body the further you sank down his length. Once you could feel him hitting the back of your throat, you started to guide yourself back and forth, adopting a steady pace. Your hands moved to work in tandem with your mouth around what your mouth couldn’t reach.

With hollowed cheeks and reddened eyes that stared straight into his, just the sight alone could have him cumming. His hand rested gently against the back of your head and as he felt more and more pleasure, his hips started to penetrate deeper into your mouth. Then all of a sudden, Mark felt your teeth gently scraping against his dick which instantly had him harshly grabbing a hold of your hair and ripping you off his length.

Your head was pulled all the way back, almost straining your neck, but the only thing you could do was giggle at his reaction once you saw his face. With a stern warning he gave you with his eyes, you were shoved back down his cock with even more force than before. He mercilessly fucked your mouth and your claws dug deep into his thighs, yet he couldn’t care less. Deep grunts and lewd noises of you gagging and choking around him filled the room as tears drenched your face. You were sopping wet by now and in attempts to find some relief, you grinded down against his foot.

“Fuck, almost there,” he moans, and with one last deep thrust, you feel spurts of his cum painting your throat.

You try your best to swallow his load, but it’s too much as some seep out from the corner of your mouth and after what seems like forever, Mark pulls you off of him. Deep gasps come from you as you try your best to catch your breath, but it seems like he has no intentions of stopping as you’re quickly yanked up from the floor and thrown on the bed.

“Look at this,” Mark held your legs open wide as he examined your drenched pussy. “I mean you were grinding against my feet so fucking hard. You liked getting off against my feet? Fucking nasty whore. I mean that’s fucking embarrassing how desperate you are”

“Fuck, off.” You angrily spat out while you attempted to close your legs. It was indeed humiliating that Mark was making you feel and act like this.

He smirked at your words, "Oh yeah? You really want me to fuck off? Cause I will, I mean I already got my fix, no need to continue on." Panic instantaneously coursed through you at his suggestion to leave you like this, and without hesitation, you desperately reached for his wrist, holding him from leaving you.

"Wait, no. Mark, please," you begged. You knew he was getting off on this control he had over you, but you couldn’t really care less. There was only one thing you wanted right now, and you would do just about anything to get it.

“Why? I don’t owe you anything. All you’ve ever done for me was treat me like shit. Maybe you should’ve been a better kitty then.” You were losing your mind the more seconds went by he wasn’t touching you.

“Please Mark, I’m sorry.” Your eyes welled up, frantically begging for him. “I’ll do anything, please. I promise.”

As sadistic as it was, Mark couldn’t help but absolutely love seeing you like this. You looked helpless and desperate. “Anything?”

You furiously nodded. “Yes! Anything, Mark. Please, touch me. Use me!”

“So you’d let me choke you or do this?” He pinched your nipples hard and despite the pain, you continued to nod. “What about this? You like this?” Mark’s hand traveled down to your tail and tugged on it. Tails on hybrids were known to be off-limits to others as it was one of the most sensitive parts of your body so to have Mark do this to you was not only demeaning but also overwhelming, but you still nodded.

“Hmm, maybe you really are willing to let me do anything. What about here? Will you let me use it?” His thumb rubbed against the rim of virgin hole. You’ve had sex plenty of times but never had you ventured to have your rear penetrated.

Your already widened eyes grew even bigger at what Mark was insinuating, clearly taken aback by the feeling of his thumb. It was an unfamiliar sensation, but this didn’t necessarily mean that you were against it. Slowly, you nodded, letting out a soft whine at the new sensation that you were growing to enjoy.

“Please Mark, give me anything.” Your answer clearly satisfied him as he moved to rest his cock, which had hardened again, on your heat.

Smacking the head of his dick against your clit had you loudly moaning and without warning, he fully plunged into you, giving you no respite to adjust to his hard length before pounding himself into you. Squelching noises filled the room and while you would have most definitely been embarrassed if this was any other scenario, you were a little too preoccupied with screaming Mark’s name loudly as you felt indescribable pleasure.

Mark seemed to be sharing a similar sentiment to yours as he also let out loud moans and grunts as he continued to snap into you. You felt heavenly, so warm and tight, almost as if you were made specially for him and if he could, Mark would want to stay buried inside of you for the rest of his life.

“Ngh, so good! Please don’t stop!” You were practically screaming as your claws sunk themselves into Mark’s back in an attempt to hold onto something. You were incoherent and babbling all sorts of things.

Suddenly, when you thought you couldn’t feel any better, you felt the rough pads of Mark’s fingers roughly rubbing themselves against your engorged clit. Instantly, your eyes rolled to the back of your head and it didn’t take long before you felt as if the Earth was stuttering on its axis as you came.

Tears poured down your pretty face as you sobbed, but it seemed as though Mark was not through with you. Swiftly, he flipped you around, yanking your tail up, which had you shrieking in sensitivity. Your ass immediately perked up while your body slumped forward, completely at his mercy.

“Look at you, so pretty in submission.” You could hear him smiling as he teased you. He admired your pussy, so puffy and glistening from your orgasm before gathering your release onto his fingers and spreading them on your unbreached hole.

All you could do was gasp against your mattress at the sensation, clearly aware of what he was trying to do. Slowly, he prodded his finger into the hole, testing the waters on how you would react before going further. You were trembling against his finger, mewling out as your hands tightly gripped the sheets on his bed. The mix of vulnerability and excitement overwhelmed you, and you couldn't deny the pleasure that was slowly building within you.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, I’m barely able to get this finger in. How’re you going to be able to take my cock princess?” Quickly you whined back at his words.

“Mhm, I can ugh, I can take it. I promise.” You’re barely able to breathe out before you went back to being a moaning mess as Mark started to move his finger around.

Mark loved how receptive you were to everything he was doing to you. Deciding to try another one, he slowly slid another finger into your incredibly taut hole. You were clenching hard around him, but the second his hands wrapped around your tail again, you seemed to loosen up, which gave him room to scissor his fingers around.

“Please, just put it in. I need you, Mark please!” Your patience was waning and while you appreciated his attempts to loosen you up, knowing that it was not only your first time but also due to his substantial size, you were tired of waiting and now just wanted him in you.

Mark didn’t need to be told twice and he quickly yanked his fingers out before positioning himself on your pulsating hole. He gradually pushed into you and instantly, the tightness around his head had him rolling his head back. As he pushed himself further into you, your whimpers got louder as your back arched further to get closer to him. It was painful and an unfamiliar sensation, but the pleasure outweighed any other feeling and you were determined to take him all.

“Shit, you’re so fucking tight around me babe.” Mark mused as he finally sunk all of himself into you before pausing for a second to take everything in. Then, he started to rock himself at a slow pace before adopting a steady pace that was comfortable for both of you.

Once again, lewd sounds of moans and pants filled the room that was potently covered in the scent of sex. Your body quivered against his with his tight grip was the only thing keeping your body from fully slumping over. As you felt yourself loosening up, you felt Mark quickening his pace as he was now pounding relentlessly into you. His balls were harshly slapping themselves against your sensitive clit and you already felt yourself coming close to releasing for a second time tonight.

“Keep going, I’m close! Don’t stop!” You pleaded and it seemed that Mark was also coming close to combusting as you felt him tightly gripping your shoulders to give himself more momentum to thrust into you.

Ringing in your ears came first before everything seemed to cut to white noise as you felt yourself convulsing. You weren’t even sure if you were even awake, let alone alive as the sensation continued. As Mark continued to slam into you, chasing his release, he felt spurts of wetness coming from you. You were squirting and at the realization, Mark instantly came. Ropes of his cum painted your inside and when he finally pulled out, the sight alone was filthy and absolutely porn-worthy. Your hole continued to clench over nothing and his cum slowly seeped out creating an image that Mark knew he would have forever ingrained in his mind.

You had gone fully limp on the bed, with only small twitches giving an indication that you were, in fact, still alive. Mark had completely fucked you into oblivion, and not a single ounce of your previous bratty attitude seemed to have withstood as you didn't even bat an eye when Mark wrapped his arms around you both, trying to recover and catch your breath.

“Guys, I’m here! I’m so sorry, the rain had everyone—what the fuck!” Out of nowhere, the door to the room slammed open, showcasing your owner standing drenched from the rain and sporting a wide smile that quickly disappeared at the sight his two hybrids were found in. Shit, both of you had totally forgotten about Taeyong.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: happy birthday mark lee love you sm and stay rawr xd <3

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[scarletwinterxx]

sunshine and midnight rain - mark lee scenario

hello! so i'm back and yes i'm still on my mark lee brain rot era😅 it's like whenever i see this guy i completely forget about the rest of male population haha anyways I hope you like this one🤍

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2023 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"Why are you so mad right now?"

"Because I asked you to do one thing and you didn't" Mark says, still avoiding your gaze.

This was not how you envisioned your morning, when you woke up Mark's side of the bed was already empty. When you went to look for him he was gone, no note, no text of his possible whereabouts. And when he got back, he was clearly and very obviously mad at you.

"I got home just fine" you say with your arms out. Mark still hasn't look at you and it's bugging you. You follow him out the living room. He's going round and round, trying to tidy the place just to avoid having a conversation with you.

"Mark, can you please look at me" you tell him, this made him stop and look over at you. A clear look of disappointment on his face, "I swear I was going to call you but the girls and I were talking and drinking. It slipped my mind, I already booked a cab home when I remembered"

"You went home, way past midnight alone and drunk. Do you know dangerous that is?"

"But I got home safe"

"And what if you didn't? What if something happened? God forbid I get upset about that, I was worried I'm sorry. Is that what you want to hear?"

You say nothing for a while, thinking of something to say back. You really are at fault here, you should be the one saying sorry right now.

"I'm sorry, I should've called" you tell him, now avoiding his eyes just as you feel the tears fill yours. Mark sighs, crossing the room until he's right in front of you. He hooks his finger under your chin, making you look at him.

"I'm mad because I care. I don't trust the world when it comes to you, I just want you to be safe always. I'm not going to stop you living your best life, but I want to know you're safe" he whispers, anger already disappearing.

He wipes the few tears that escaped, cradling your face between his hands.

"Are you still mad?" you mumble, this made Mark smile and shake his head.

"We're okay. I'm sorry for raising my voice at you"

"And I'm sorry for making you worry"

He kisses your forehead before pulling you in for a hug, "I don't like arguing with you, but I'd do it in every universe as long as we make up and end up like this. I love you, always. Okay?"

You hug him tighter, answering him without saying any words.

Just like that you're okay again.

Bless this universe for giving you such an understanding, loving, mature man to love. You'd be stupid to ever let him go which is why no matter what argument, the two of you always make sure to solve it together.

Mark never lets you go to sleep upset, he'll ask you what's wrong or if he's done anything to upset you. At first it was hard for you to admit your feelings that easily, you learned that you don't like being vulnerable, you don't like sharing your true feelings. You bottle it up. But ever since you started dating Mark, all of that changed.

He's there to listen, even when words aren't being spoken. He knows when to give you space, he knows when to chase after you and hold you tight. He knows you in a way you didn't want to know yourself, you used to be scared of these feeling but not anymore.

It's obvious who's the serious one and the jokester in you and Mark's relationship. The best thing about it is the fact that your boyfriend, no matter how serious he is, will always play along.

"Mark, you busy?" you ask, walking inside the office to see him on his computer

He looks over at you with a smile, "No, what's up?"

"I was wondering..." you say while walking towards him, he waits for you to continue. You got to where he was sitting, smiling cheekily at your boyfriend

He knows you're up to something, he grabs you by the waist sitting you squarely on his lap.

"Do you know how to whistle?"

"Do I know how to whistle?" he asks back,

"Yea like you know, like this" you pout, but before you can whistle Mark closes the gap between the two of you. Kissing you gently, he grabs the back of your head to deepen the kiss. Suddenly you forgot what you were doing in the first place.

After a few minutes of exchanging kisses, you broke apart. Looking dazed and in love, "Hey! I was suppose to do that! Did you know I was going to do that?" you asked

"Maybe" he mumbles, looking at you with pure adoration

"I'll pretend I didn't know" he adds, making you roll your eyes.

"You just want to make out"

"You're not wrong there, now come here I need your kisses"

The first time it happened, Mark thought it really was just coincidence.

You just started to decorate around the house, the tree was halfway done and a few other decorations scattered here and there. He was just walking to the kitchen doorway when suddenly you stop him

"What?" your boyfriend blinks back at you confused, instead of answering him you just point up making Mark look at where you're pointing. There hanging by the doorway was a mistletoe.

"When did you put that there?" he asks with a smile, finding the tradition cute. Even cuter when you're looking at him with the biggest smile, ready to receive your kiss

"I just put it up today, now where's my kiss" you say, pursing your lips at him making Mark chuckle. He grabs you by the waist, leaning down to kiss you. It was short but sweet, enough to leave you smiling like an idiot.

A few months ago, the two of you finally decided to move in together. It's been years since you got together, and most times you spend your nights together whether his place or yours. At some point you realized that it would make more sense to just move in together, so you did.

"Love, did you do laundry last time?" you asked him, walking inside your shared bedroom to see him resting on the bed

"I did"

"Oh thanks, love the fabric softener you used. Now all my clothes smells like you" you smile at him, jumping on the bed to cuddle him. Immediately he hugs you close.

"Then will you stop stealing of my clothes now?" he asks

"Negative, I like your hoodies better"

He chuckles at your answer, "Knew it"

"What were you doing?"

"Just checking my phone, I wanted to order this pan for making omelet. Should we get one?"

You love how his sentence now say "we" or "our" instead of his and yours. Of course you still respect each other's boundaries and individuality, but on things like deciding what to paint your home or what furniture to buy or groceries to stock up on it's always the two of you.

"Should we? If we're using it then why not, I love eggs for breakfast" you tell him, looking at his phone screen to check

"I know, that's why I'm getting it. Okay, I'll order it now then" you watch him as he do so.

"This is fun" you mumble

"Hm?"

"This, buying things for our place. I like it" you smile

"Me too"

"Do you want to marry me?"

Your question took him by surprise. Not because he didn't want to marry you, it's just when he thinks of that big question he's the one doing the asking and not the other way around.

"Mark? Sorry forget I said anything" you mumble, moving to rest your head on the pillow instead

"Remember when we first started dating or way before that?" he asks you

"Huh?"

"I was shy, I wasn't as confident as the other guys. People think I'm aloof and too serious. You never thought of me that way, you entered in my life like you were meant to be there all along and maybe you are. Scratch that, I know you are. You're meant to be in my life. When I knew I was falling in love with you I didn't know how to say it without scaring you away, so I did it slowly. I did it in a way that won't overwhelm you. Because to you it doesn't have to be a loud confession or a grand gesture. i loved you they way i knew you would understand. i loved you the way i know how. i just loved you. I know you, your mind is a wonder. You doubt, you question and you worry your pretty mind to no ends. I didn’t want to disrupt that"

By now you're face to face again, he's speaking so softly like he's afraid you'll float away of he's too loud.

"You said I was your peace, and back then that was more than enough for me. By some miracle, you fell in love with me too. And now we're here. So to answer your question, yes I want to marry you. One day I want to get down on one knee and ask you that question, I'm still working on being the man worthy to ask that" he continues, and you soak each and every word he speaks like he's already saying his vows.

Because you know, you know he is a man of words. If Mark says it, then it's true. He will never say such things to deceive you.

"Do you have any more questions for me, pretty girl?" he whispers, waiting for you to speak

You shake your head, scooting until you're on his side again. Tucking yourself as close to him as you can.

He tilts your head so you're looking at him, leaning down to kiss you on your nose, your cheeks and last your lips.

"I'll love you over and over again, just like when we met"

#fic #nct #story #tag #nct dream #nct 127 #nct mark lee #nct scenario #nct oneshot #nct au #nct fluff #mark lee imagine #mark lee au #mark lee boyfriend #mark lee oneshot #mark lee fluff

[haechwrites]

undercut - L.MK

idol!mark lee x reader

wc: ~1.2k

warnings: nothin. kisses. fluff.

A/N: MARK UNDERCUT!!!!!!!!!! I NEEDED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM also ive been extra delulu don't mind me.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Can I come over? I’ll ask hyung to drop me off at yours.” I could hear the cars passing by him, louder than I expected the city streets to be at 3 am.

“You don’t have a schedule for tomorrow?” I ask, barely holding the phone between my head and shoulder. For some reason, I thought it’d be a good idea to paint my nails at this hour. 

“Also blue or red?” I cut him off before he can answer my previous question. I clink the nail polish bottles in my hands.

“Blue. And nooo, it’s my off day…” And then he’s quiet, I can hear his nerves through the phone.

“You want me to say ‘yes,’ don’t you?” I smirk, hoping he can feel my teasing nature from his end. 

He groans, annoyed that I’m making it difficult for him and I bite my lip to stop myself from giggling. He’s such a baby.

“Of course I want my girlfriend to say ‘yes’ to me asking to come over. Are you insane?” I listen to him huff and I can sense the text I’m about to get from Renjun, telling me to get Mark to quit whining.

“So dramatic,” I snicker. I start to pack up the nail polish, already knowing he’ll be here in five minutes regardless of my answer. “You’re on your way, right?”

I’m met with silence and I hesitate putting my clear coat back in the cabinet.

“I’m outside.”

“Of course you are. No respect for my decisions I see.” In contrast to my words, my heart is actually racing. I almost slide across the floor at how fast I run to the buzzer.

“Just open the door,” Mark whines some more and I can hear the buzz from the other side. I hang up the phone and open the door, ready to see his face.

It’s been a week since I’ve last seen him, if you’re not counting the facetime calls at random hours – he’s lucky my job isn’t strict on my phone use. I never know how much I miss Mark Lee until he’s busy with his hectic schedules. It took me awhile to accept and appreciate the nature of our relationship. Mark thanks me whenever he can for putting up with his lifestyle. What he doesn’t know is that I love him so much that I can easily make his lifestyle mine. Even if that means seeing him randomly at 3 am on a Wednesday.

I poke my head out and I see a figure stalk down the hallway, a hoodie hiding his head. 

“Psst,” I whisper and his head lifts to find my voice. He speedwalks over and I tug him in, carefully closing my front door.

“You know I know where you live right? Like I won’t get lost,” Mark laughs, leaving no time to pull me in for a hug. I feel my muscles relax into his and I don’t realize how much I needed it. His time. His space. Him. 

The more I soften in his embrace, the tighter his arms squeeze. “You’re precious cargo. Gotta make sure my man arrives safely.”

“Your man?” Mark leans back to show me how happy my word choice made him. Even on his tired face, his smile shines brightly. No eye bags can hide the gleam of his brown eyes.

I roll my eyes and slap his chest. “You heard me, weirdo. Stop acting like it’s new news.”

“Ahhh,” He lifts my feet off the ground to nuzzle into me some more. “I can’t help that it sounds so good.”

“You know what else sounds good?” I ask when he puts me down. “A movie sesh.”

I split from his embrace, scurrying to the kitchen to hide the new dust of pink on my cheeks. The effect he has on me never wears off, even after all this time. It’s almost embarrassing.

“Ah, my girl’s a genius,” I hear his feet chase after me to hug me from behind as I grab a pack of popcorn from the cabinets. I can feel his soft breathing on my shoulder and it feels unreal that he’s physically here. I can actually feel his chest rise and fall against my back. I’ve gotten so used to listening to him fall asleep on the phone.

“Your girl?” I mock.

“Shut up.” Mark mutters into my shoulder. I reach back to stroke his hair when I’m met with the fabric of his jacket.

“Why do you still have your hoodie up?” I twist around in his arms to face him and his head swiftly repositions to fall into my chest. I try to push his head back up, but he’s stubborn.

“What are you hiding, Mark Lee?” I flick his head and he exclaims.

“Ow! Why are you so violent?” He finally looks up and I flip his hoodie back before he could protest again.

It’s gone. His hair.

“Your hair.” 

Mark looks down at me shyly, biting his lip. I watch him run his hand through his undercut, focusing on the fact that it’s so short his black strands don’t file through his fingers anymore. Or that his ends don’t slightly curl around the nape of his neck. He even has etchings shaved into the sides. I can’t remember if I already knew about this and saw it over facetime or if it’s a new change to his appearance. Maybe it’s been longer than a week since I saw him last. The shock on my face is evident.

He squeezes my hip to bring me back. “You like it?” So it is new.

Mark grabs one of my hands and guides it through his haircut. It almost hurts with how prickly it is, but it’s fun. It’s new. And the way he sighs into my hands makes my chest tighten. 

“It’s… it’s kinda hot.” I take both of my hands and run them through, not really missing how easy his hair was to tug before. It’s a new look and I can tell he’s confident in it. I wonder if I could get him to shave my initials next time. 

“Yeah?” Mark stands up straighter, a fiery look in his eyes as he watches me admire his cut. My fingertips dance across the hair. I barely miss the way his tongue swipes across his lips.

“Yeah, I love it.” I can’t contain my smile, and he chuckles at my reaction. He tugs my waist in closer before planting a long kiss on my cheek. “I can see your pretty face so much better.”

He groans, letting his head fall into the side of my neck, nipping at my skin instinctively. I snicker at his reaction, letting my fingers massage his scalp.

“You’re killing me,” he says, almost like a whisper. I pull his face in front of me, watching the shy pout form on his lips. I give him a peck and watch him chase my mouth for more.

“Ditto.” I admit, caving into his cry for more kisses.

#mark lee #mark lee fic #mark lee writing #mark lee fanfic #mark lee fluff #mark lee one shot #mark lee imagine #mark lee au #nct mark #nct dream #nct 127 #nct writing #nct au #nct fluff #nct fics #nct fic #nct fanfic #nct imagine #nct x reader #mark lee x reader #haechwrites #mark lee blurb #nct blurb

[gimmehyuck]

a series of (un)fortunate events | l.mk

summary. it’s been months since you've seen mark in person. when you have no choice but to be around him because of a wedding, you start to feel as if fate likes to see you suffer.

or, alternatively:

maybe fate just wants to see you happy.

pairing. rising actor!mark x fem!reader, feat. hyuck and ryujin

words. 9.4k

genre. exes to lovers; fluff with lots of angst sprinkled all over

warnings. reader has anxiety, honestly she’s a little bit miserable but i think we can forgive her for that, alcohol consumption, i asked my friend what the agents name should be and we both thought linda would be funny (sorry if your name is linda), cliche kdrama drunk scene bc i can

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you were frozen in time. mind completely empty. the literal embodiment of ‘not a thought behind those eyes’. it took a solid 45 seconds of ryujin calling your name before you snapped out of it and looked at her again through your phone screen. she was frowning at you and you couldn’t help but mutter under your breath a small, “shit.”

clearing your voice you apologized with a smile this time.

“i knew she’d react like this,” ryujin said to the other person sharing the space on the phone screen.

“i know… look,” donghyuck said to you after turning away from his now fiancé. “i told mark that he’s my best man because he’s my best friend, but i also told him to try and keep his distance. we both want the both of you there for us.” donghyuck was pouting a little, probably because he always got his way when he did that but you were mostly looking at ryujin. she was happy and you could tell, but her eyes were worried for you. and who were you to ruin this time for her?

“oh, of course babe. i can handle this, no worries at all!” you forced the smile to meet your eyes, hoping she’d buy it. she didn’t. but she admired your bravery in the moment and didn’t press you further.

“i’ll let you know the details, you’ll have to fly back home so don’t worry about the dresses or anything. i’ll take care of that for you!” she chirped.

“ryu, no! if i’m the maid of honor then i should help with this stuff!” but ryujin was already waving her hand dismissively.

“just focus on getting here, it’s going to be expensive enough to get plane tickets, let alone the back and forth. so we’ll make it one trip for the wedding and i’ll facetime you for everything.”

“at least let me plan the bachelorette party,” you argued. and ryujin smiled brightly at that.

“i wouldn’t dream of taking that away from you.”

after a few more minutes of honest congratulations and eye rolls for donghyuck, you hung up the phone and you sat back on the couch while you stared at the picture that was the home screen. running your hand through your hair, you sighed heavily. the picture of mark leaning against the short wall of the ice rink as he was laughing hysterically was staring back at you, the moment captured during your one year anniversary date. you had fallen while ice skating and he spent the first two minutes laughing before he pulled himself together to help you up. you had been recording at the time and it was your favorite picture.

even though it had been two months since you had left, you still didn’t have the heart to change it. just like you didn’t have the heart to fall out of love with him. this wedding would be the second hardest thing you’d have to do.

the first will always be the night you left.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you took everything that you had originally thought back. this would absolutely be the second hardest thing you’d ever have to do.

when ryujin sent you the seating arrangement for the wedding and let it slip that you’d have to walk with mark down the aisle, you nearly cried.

you did cry, actually.

luckily you knew where the letters were on your keyboard so you were able to type out a ‘sounds good to me, babe :)’ without actually seeing since your watery eyes were making the keyboard all but disappear.

you angrily brushed them away, getting so frustrated with your emotions and scolding yourself because you would have to get this under control in three months time. you still didn’t understand the rush of the wedding but it wasn’t your wedding to plan therefore you had no say in the matter. shaking your head you went back to your laptop to search for plane tickets to korea when the late night show’s host saying mark’s name caught your attention and you quickly whipped your head up to watch the tv.

“tonight we have with us, the up and coming star whose debut movie will be releasing this friday, mark lee!” the audience clapped and the thought of reaching for the remote to turn off the tv did not cross your mind; the idea of getting to see him aside from the random magazine cover made your heart ache but in that moment you wanted to brave the ache if only to get to see a smile from him.

mark walked on the set and waved at everyone, a bright smile on his face that you had been waiting for. his blue blazer complementing his black hair, and you couldn’t help but think about how handsome he looked. you were far too entranced to tell yourself to turn it off now.

“so!” the host said, clapping his hands together as mark took his seat adjacent to him. “welcome to the show.”

mark nodded along, “thank you for having me.”

“the pleasure is all ours, isn’t that right?” the host said to the crowd and they began the applause all over again. you noticed mark’s ears turning a little pink and you knew he was getting a little overwhelmed with the love from strangers.

“your debut movie dive into you, your very first role as an actor nonetheless, was making waves,” the host paused with a raised eyebrow while the crowd - and mark - laughed at his pun; then continued, “of the sundance festival. how did it feel to win awards so soon after wrapping up production?”

mark smiled and nodded along in answer, “it feels like it’s not real honestly, but also like my hard work has finally paid off. i never really thought i’d be here. i never thought i’d get to see this part of my dream come to pass but here i am. i can’t help but feel nervous, but also excited, you know? the director, cast, and crew were all welcoming and amazing to work with. i’ll truly remember this moment forever, and be grateful for it.” the host nodded along with mark as he answered his question at length, and then as he spoke the hosts lips pursed and he began tapping his chin.

“you said something very interesting just then, mark,” the host commented and mark raised an eyebrow at him suddenly looking around trying to figure out what it was exactly that he had said, as if the audience could help him find it.

“what? did i accidentally cuss and not realize it?” mark gave a nervous laugh and you couldn’t help but smile at his awkwardness. you were happy to see that although he had achieved his dream, he was still the same mark.

“oh no! and besides. it’s late night tv, you’re allowed to cuss here and there,” the host laughed a little before leaning forward on his desk and mark leaned closer as if they were going to share a secret.

“what i was curious about, and i’m sure what everyone else at home is curious about as well, is what you meant exactly by ‘this part of my dream’? what’s the other half… or whatever fraction of your dream that hasn’t come true yet?”

and mark’s eyebrows rose, “ahhh, that…” he hesitated while he scratched the back of his neck.

“i just meant… um, i just meant that the other part being that i wish that my- my friends were able to be here and celebrate this milestone with me.” mark was lying through his teeth, you could tell because as he said the word friends, his nose scrunched a little and that was always how you knew he was either lying or withholding something. but these people wouldn’t know that about him, and the shows host accepted the answer immediately. his face gave a look of understanding and almost concern.

“oh yeah, you came from korea for this movie, didn’t you?” and mark nodded in answer.

“yeah, they’re all back home supporting me but it’s okay. my best friend is getting married in a couple of months so i’ll be able to celebrate then with them in person!” and the host grinned widely at mark and then the camera.

“well that makes me happy for you, mark, truly! oh, and it looks like that’s all the time we have for tonight. everyone go watch dive into you when it releases in theatres this friday!”

the credits began to roll and mark was shot smiling and clapping, leaning over to say something to the host that the camera mic didn’t catch as the show ended. seeing his smile and being happy like that made the heart ache worsen, and you rubbed at your chest trying to ease the metaphorical pain. you weren’t sure if you were ready to see him. you weren’t sure if you’d be able to keep it together for this whole thing.

but for ryujin, you’d try.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

fuck this. you couldn’t do it.

you really really couldn’t do it.

after landing in korea you connected to the wifi of the airport only to receive one message from ryujin.

5:50 pm my baby 👭: mark will be picking u up from the airport, hyuck and i had last minute kinks to work out for the wedding but i’ll come and get u tonight for the bachelorette party! i’m so sorry 😞

she even had the nerve, the audacity to send the sad emoji but all you could do was feel your heart racing from anxiety. so you quickly typed back in a panic -

that’s ok! i can just take a taxi, no need for mark to come!

but she answered immediately as if she were waiting for your response, and her only message was, “he’s already there!”

and you were going to fucking kill her. you were absolutely going to murder her before she even got the chance to step one toe down the aisle. you didn’t even bother responding to the text, your anxiety and frustration making an uncomfortable mix in your chest and if you weren’t already thirty seconds from a panic attack, your phone buzzed again and with sweaty palms you checked it.

6:05 pm ml 🐯🥰: ryujin gave me your new number, sorry if this is weird. but i’m outside in the blue car, take your time though.

6:06 pm ml 🐯🥰: this is mark, btw

you internally screamed as you read the message over and over again, the contact name being another thing you also didn’t have the heart to change like your wallpaper, truly thinking you would never see it pop up again. you abruptly sat on the nearest bench as you waited for your checked luggage to arrive at the baggage carousel, the people who were standing around you edged further away from you. flashing you concerned looks at your apparent mental break down, but you could hardly even blink. you felt your heart rising in your throat and you tried to breathe through your nose and out through your mouth.

you tried slowly counting to five.

you tried breathing in for a few seconds and breathing out slower.

as you sat, you tried every calming technique you could think of.

it wasn’t until an elderly lady placed a gentle hand on your shoulder causing you to jump slightly and she gave you a kind look.

“everything is going to be okay,” she said as she gently rubbed your back and then just… walked away. the sudden appearance and disappearance of her making your panic halt in an instant in the distraction.

then the carousel whirred to life, and you had to rush over to haul your bag off of the moving belt before you had to wait for it to come around again. you really should have let it circle around a few times, but that idea came to you after you had already set the suitcase on the ground.

the kindness from the older woman, and the knowledge that you would be able to thoroughly murder your friend in a few short hours helped you to steel your nerves as you exited the airport and quickly found the blue car mark was driving.

it was easy to spot because he was literally leaning against it while he stared at his phone. you hesitated a moment, taking him in and god did he look good in those jeans and that sweater. the thoughts getting away from you before you could stop them but immediately scolded yourself.

steadying yourself with a quick breath, you rolled your suitcase up to the trunk and he jerked his head up at the sudden movement.

“oh, hi. i was waiting for a response from you- but, uh, um, here! let me get that.” he said quickly as he reached for your bag to help you heave it into the trunk but you put your hand up to stop him, taking a step back to create space.

“it’s okay,” you said, a little too curt with him. “i can do it myself.” and mark instantly deflated, your heart jumping at the need to fix that look.

no, you scolded yourself and internally forced your heart to still. he’s not yours anymore.

you made sure of that.

mark stepped back and let you lift up the heavy suitcase yourself, dropping it ever so gracefully in the trunk. you closed it and tried not to make eye contact as you moved around mark to get into the passenger seat. when you shut the door you couldn’t stop yourself from looking in the side mirror to see him frown and he shook his head at himself. you breathed a sigh of relief out. the ‘ripping off the bandaid’ part over and done with.

he got in to his side of the car smoothly, and you prepared yourself for an awkward silence the entire ride to the hotel.

“we’re staying at the same place, so that’s cool!” mark said casually, trying to create some form of conversation, of peace. you didn’t respond to what he said, instead opting for a different approach.

“you didn’t need to come and get me,” you said quietly as you stared at the passing cars on the road.

“i wanted to,” he said just as quietly, and you flinched internally at what sounded like sadness. he said your name, and then hesitated. after a few moments of silence, you saw his reflection in the window shake his head slightly as he decided against saying whatever it was.

“never mind.” was the last word uttered of the drive.

the tension weighed heavily on your already wounded heart.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

fate had it out for you. she must really enjoy screwing you over. because what you kept thinking would be the hardest part… kept continuously turning out to absolutely not be the hardest part, as if she were taunting you.

exhibit d:

“what do you mean my reservation was canceled?” you asked the hotel concierge for the third time in a row, causing her to sigh in frustration at you, finally cracking her happy persona she had to wear for her job.

“ma’am, i really don’t know how else to explain it to you. it says here it was canceled, and your room was already booked by someone else.”

“well unbook it!” you insisted, all but yelling out at that point, completely fed up. “i didn’t cancel my reservation, so it must have been a system error. isn’t there anything you can do to fix this?”

“i’m sorry,” the woman said again. “we’re fully booked for a wedding that’s taking place in a few days.”

“i-“ you paused pinching the bridge of your nose tightly, taking a moment to deeply inhale. you were going to have to google better calming techniques. “i. know. because i am in that wedding!” you hissed between clenched teeth and when the woman reached for the phone in fear, to call what you presumed was the security, mark stepped in suddenly. he leaned against the tall counter, and his sudden closeness made you jerk your head up to make eye contact with him.

“i booked a suite with an extra bed, it may be a little… um, awkward but the bed is yours if you want it.” his ears were turning red, but his voice sounded genuine. as if he truly meant his offer and god you wanted to crawl into the nearest hole and never come out. knowing your options were limited to this or staying with your parents who lived two hours outside of the city, you really didn’t have any other choice.

fate was absolutely fucking with you just because she could, was the only thought on replay as you were getting ready in the bathroom for the bachelorette party that night. considering you had slept on the plane, you weren’t tired yet and you figured you’d be able to sleep off the jetlag with a nice hangover before the rehearsal dinner the next evening. putting the final touches on your makeup, you looked at yourself in the mirror.

you could do this.

you could do this.

you could do this.

you repeated those three sentences like a mantra to yourself over and over, trying to give yourself the confidence to leave the room and be in the same space as mark again, but it seemed like the universe had different plans as your inner musings were interrupted.

“you look… really pretty.” he said in the entrance of the bathroom, his body blocking the only exit from the room. you looked down to avoid the eye contact in the mirror he was giving you, and muttered a quiet, “thank you.”

he paused a moment more before saying your name, for the second time since you had seen him, and hearing his voice saying your name in that way as opposed to the first time… it almost made tears spring to your eyes.

“i just wanted-“ he started, but for the first time since you had been told of this wedding, something (because it definitely wasn’t fate) decided to take pity on you and give you a break because at that moment you got a text from ryujin.

9:45 pm murder victim (1) 🔪: here babe!!

and you instantly sighed in relief. cutting mark off from what you were sure he had spent the last hour building up the courage to say, you turned on your heel and said, “ryu’s here! gotta go.”

you brushed past him to exit the hotel room, not even noticing that you had forgotten the door key on your way out.

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it was three am.

or maybe four.

you weren’t sure.

you spent the first twenty minutes of the night scolding the hell out of ryujin in the back of the uber and she just took it with a grin.

“and just what is so funny?” you huffed at her, crossing your arms and allowing your brows to stay furrowed.

“it’s almost like the universe is telling you to get back together.” she sang, and wiggled her eyebrows at you. you threw your hands up in exasperation, drawing eyes from the driver through the rearview mirror. giving a slight bow of apology to him you turned back to ryujin only to roll your eyes at her.

“no, the universe likes watching me hit a newly discovered rock bottom. we’re not getting back together and i’m sure he’ll be happy to have me gone once your wedding is over.” ryujin only shrugged and you didn’t hear it when she muttered, “i wouldn’t be so sure.”

when the uber dropped you off in front of the first club of the night, your sour mood dispersed in a second as you headed inside.

you and ryujin, along with her other bridesmaids in her party, heejin, yeji, and jimin had bounced from club to club and you had thoroughly drank your cares away. you were no longer thinking about how fate was a bitch. you were no longer thinking about the doom and gloom you were feeling.

you were no longer thinking about mark.

except that last one was a lie because he was the only thought that occupied your brain through the night, so much so that ryujin had to cover your mouth with her hand to stop your rambling about him.

but as the dawn crept closer and closer, all of you were calling it quits. yeji had lost a shoe somewhere along the way and jimin had left thirty minutes before, taking a whiny yeji with her; heejin was finally getting into her uber after ten minutes of drunkenly explaining that no, she wasn’t in the building the street over, and yes the gps was actually wrong. it just left you and ryujin as you waited for donghyuck to come pick you up, knowing he was on standby for the designated driver role of the morning. ryujin held your hand and affectionately laid her head on your shoulder. you copied the action and turned so you could hug each other and sway back and forth, the scene cute if not for the fact that anyone watching could tell that you were both heavily intoxicated if the giggles coming from you both after each dramatic sway were any indicator.

“you know everything is gonna be okay,” she slurred a little too loudly in your ear and the phrase made you think of something but you couldn’t quite remember what it was.

“i know,” you giggled at her, grinning brightly and you both squeezed each other tighter. you couldn’t remember in that moment what needed to be okay.

“hey, that’s my future wife! if you wanted her you should have proposed first!” you both turned to see donghyuck smiling widely, as he leaned across the center console to be able to tease you both out of the passenger window. you answered by sticking your tongue out childishly at him and ryujin answered by kissing your cheek with a loud, exaggerated smack, leaving a red stain on your cheek from what was left of her lipstick.

“i could have had her years before you even knew her, and i’ll have her years after you. remember that!” you said while pointing your fingers at your eyes and turning them on him. he rolled his eyes and sarcastically mimicked your response before motioning for you both to get in the car.

the drive back to the hotel was quiet and for the first time that night you checked your phone.

11:03 pm ml 🐯🥰: hey, i just noticed you left your keycard to get back in the hotel

12:00 am ml 🐯🥰: i’ll sleep with my phone off of silent, just call when you get back and i’ll let you in

2:15 am ml 🐯🥰: please be safe, let me know if i need to come get you

your heart fluttered at his messages and you drunkenly smiled at how he still cared. you covered your mouth to hide your smile but the sober one in the car didn’t miss the way your eyes lit up in a way that neither he nor ryujin had seen on you in five months. he could only smirk to himself as he drove, promising to himself to tell ryujin about what he saw the next morning.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you stumbled your way down the hallway, stopping and taking off one shoe as it was rubbing your foot painfully. then after a few steps you realized how silly it was to walk with one heel on and you clumsily leaned against the wall to pull off the other shoe. arriving to the door, you giggled at the idea of getting to call and talk to mark.

mark was here, with you.

you were here, with mark.

something you’d never thought would happen again and it made your heart soar. giggling again at that thought you pulled out your phone. hitting the call button, he picked up after the third ring and you sighed as you leaned against the door frame, allowing it to hold you up.

“hello?” his voice was raspy from sleep and it made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

“hi,” you giggled once more, and you internally smacked yourself this time.

play it cool or don’t talk yourself into sounding like an idiot, you told yourself.

“hi,” he parroted back to you. “are you okay? do i need to come get you?”

“yeah, can you please?” and you heard rustling through the phone.

“okay, i’m on my way. where are you?” he didn’t hesitate. he didn’t even sigh. he didn’t seem annoyed by having to help you. he seemed… almost happy in the way he said his words. as if you could audibly hear the smile. but maybe that was the alcohol letting you hear what you wanted to hear. you heard him walking around in the hotel room through the phone, and saw a light flick on from the little sliver of a gap under the door.

“on the other side of the door,” you smiled, laughing a little harder at your own joke and the door jerked open to reveal mark in all his sleepy glory. shirt wrinkled and hair sticking out at in odd directions. his relief, however, made way to his smile and he couldn’t help but stare down at you for a moment… but you, you were definitely still drunk. and who needs inhibitions to tell you not to do something anyways? not you, that’s for sure.

“my pretty maaaark!” you sang, as you threw yourself against him, or well, fell against him would be a better term for what happened.

he froze at the sudden affection from you, arms raised at awkward angles above your body before allowing his arms to lower and hug you back gently.

“i’m so sleepy, mark.” you slurred against his chest and you nuzzled your cheek against it, thinking about how soft this shirt was. he huffed a small laugh and pulled you further into the room so he could close the door.

“okay, let’s get you to bed then. c’mon.” and he helped you walk (in reality he half carried you) towards the shared bedroom.

“mark,” you called his name again softly. he glanced down at you and he noticed you were already looking up at him, arms still wrapped around his waist.

“mm?” he answered as he navigated you finally over to the bed.

“i’m so happy,” you said to him and somehow, fate again you assumed - that bitch - you simultaneously tripped over your own drunk feet and tumbled back onto the bed. your arms that were still wrapped around his waist gave him no choice but to fall with you, or well, on top of you. he caught himself instead of crushing you, an arm on each side of your head, caging you in.

he looked down at you and your body acting off it’s own accord by gripping his shirt tightly at his waist. you couldn’t help but stare at his face for a few long seconds, eyes going from his eyes, up to his hair, down to his lips, back to his eyes, and then back to his lips one last time.

“and why is that?” he asked, bringing you back to the moment before you tripped. and although your eyes had drifted back up to his eyes, he noticed that yours started to slowly flutter closed, as if you were fighting sleep but the alcohol was winning. your bright smile you gave him while you were thinking of the answer made his heart beat fast, but the words you said next made it stop entirely.

“because i get to be here with you, even if it’s just for a moment. i missed you so much, my mark, all marked in my heart.” you laughed softly again at your own joke, referencing back to a pickup line he had given you that made you say yes to his first request of a date. he couldn’t help the melancholy feeling that overcame him as he looked down at your sleeping form, the alcohol finally taking you from awake to asleep within seconds.

“i’m happy too,” he whispered though you didn’t hear it.

if only you knew how happy he actually was.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

the next day, you surprisingly slept well considering it was 3 o’clock in the afternoon and you were still in your clothes from last night. the curtains were drawn tightly as to not let any light in, and you groaned at the headache that pulsed behind your eyelids. you knew the room was empty based on the the silence and you were grateful for it as you felt embarrassed by your actions the night before. why the hell would you say that to mark? if you wanted him to hate you, well, you were doing a damn good job of solidifying that. you searched for your phone amongst the blankets and pillows to check your messages.

11:15 am murder victim (2) 🔫: mark said earlier that you forgot your key, hope you ‘got in’ okay ;)

11:30 am murder victim (1) 🔪: hi babe, how’s the hangover? the rehearsal is at 5. text me when u get up, ily 😘

11:47 am ml 🐯🥰: i put tylenol by the bed with some water, i would have ordered you food but didn’t know what time you’d be getting up. see you later

your heart gave way at the kind gesture as you flipped on a light switch and squinted at the brightness, quickly finding the medicine and downing it in one go to quickly turn off the light again.

maybe he wasn’t hating you like you thought.

you gave yourself thirty minutes to try and let the headache lose the battle with the medicine you took and finally rolled out of bed to take a shower, doing everything you could think of to keep mark and his never ending kindness off of your mind. you got ready in record time, and somehow made it to the rehearsal on time with five minutes to spare.

you ran through the wedding fairly quickly, and you most certainly did not blush as mark took your arms in his to walk you down the aisle for the practice run. besides that, you didn’t get a chance to look at mark until it came to dinner with the wedding party for the night.

fate, and you couldn’t say you were mad at her this time, had allowed mark to sit next to you during dinner.

“so mark,” yeji had said as she stuffed a piece of broccoli into her mouth. “what’s it like being famous now?”

he groaned in answer. his hand moved ever so slightly to the right and his pinky was suddenly touching yours. your eyes widened but you didn’t move your hand away, allowing his hand to rest next to yours. it felt like something from middle school when you would get excited over your crush, your eyes laser-focused on where you were connected.

“i mean, of course i’m happy to have found success in it.”

success.

that word alone sent you back to The Moment five months ago.

success was all that you wanted for mark, you were happy to watch him as he acted on set. with the way his schedule had been lining up, you hardly saw him. so when you suggested that maybe you could spend the day with him on set while he worked, he didn’t say no to you. it made you happy that he made you feel like he was fitting time in with you even if he was insanely busy.

you missed spending time with him, and you really… just… missed him. his absence making your worries and self doubts grow more eminent but you were both usually good at communicating so it wasn’t a constant worry, but the worry was there all the same.

mark had just left you to begin another scene, leaving you sitting in his chair that was off to the side and you couldn’t stop your eyes from following him around the room, watching his interactions with his cast mates.

a body landing into the chair next to yours caused you to jump and you turned to see his manager sitting next to you, leaning to the side to be just on the verge of invading your space. she was a stone faced woman, perfectly presented down to the red polish of her nails.

you had only met her a few times but she seemed… nice enough. you couldn’t deny that she worked hard to get mark solid chances and auditions so you appreciated her as mark did.

the situation at hand made you uncomfortable for some reason though, your gut telling you to move away from her.

you didn’t listen.

“so,” his manager began slowly, not making eye contact with you, instead her eyes were following mark as yours had been doing moments before.

“so…?” you prompted when she didn’t begin speaking right away.

“we need to talk… and i’m taking the initiative because mark’s too kind and won’t do it.” this caught you off guard entirely. mark was keeping something from you? you were both good terrible secret keepers with each other and this seemed so unlike him.

but, you thought, his manager was with him when you weren’t so maybe…

“oh…” you said, and finally his manager made eye contact with you. the cold stare she was giving you sent shivers down your spine.

“look, sweetie. this… this relationship you have with mark. it isn’t working.” and she patted you on the shoulder as if this were good news. “it isn’t going to work for his image or his future. you know you’re holding him back from the future he could have. the future he deserves. why do you want to burden him any further than you already have?” she asked, voice dripping with a sense of sweetness that screamed condescension.

you stilled at that instantly. the thought that you may have been the problem the entire time you were together… that you were the reason as to why he couldn’t get auditions… you would be lying if you said it hadn’t crossed your mind.

“but mark never said…” you argued weakly, playing with your fingers all while trying not to make eye contact with the woman sitting next to you.

“of course he wouldn’t, dear. he knows you’re too… fragile.” she sneered at the last word, her disdain for you being glaringly obvious as the conversation carried on. your anxiety made you fragile? mark had talked about you to her?

when you didn’t respond right away, mind racing, mark’s manager stood up.

“if you want to be selfish, and ruin his chances at success then that’s fine. just know any future failures would be on you. if you truly loved him, you’d do this for him. you’d leave.” her voice changed sharply within that sentence, the word selfish becoming a thicker blanket on top of burden in your mind and it was like you couldn’t breathe.

the anxiety stemming from the words she had just said - the fears you had been harboring for months, the thoughts that you had been smothering like a fire in the back of your mind suddenly roared to life, and the sudden heat was too hot for you to handle in the moment.

the idea of mark possibly resenting you in the future for things you knew were out of your control, it shook you… and it was minutes of spiraling into yourself before you realized that his manger had been long gone and the director had called cut.

mark stopped by where you sat for a brief moment to tell you that he had to go to the the hair and makeup trailer and he would be back soon. the fact that he didn’t tell you that he loved you with a quick kiss like he usually would being the final nail in the coffin for you in believing every word.

you got up and left the set that day, going to your shared home with mark and realized there wasn’t much that you wanted to take anyway. your heart was shattered and everything you’d take would only remind you of him.

you had packed a suitcase, and sat for a long time contemplating if you wanted to leave a letter but then ultimately decided that if he was already feeling burdened by you, you’d be doing him a favor by not making it hard on him. or well, any harder.

allowing that memory to play all the way through for the first time since seeing him made you feel as if reality had punched you in the stomach, and it sobered you up quickly. the heavy weight of your anxiety was back and it settled on your chest. the bubble of happiness you felt at the slightest touch, at the first sight of him after being apart from him for so long… all gone in an instant.

remember you’re the burden, you did this for him, you chided yourself sadly in your head. you were the reason why you both were estranged.

you gently moved your hand away to rest it in your lap. mark cut his eyes to you suddenly but you missed the glance and you missed the way he was still looking at you as he said, “but i’m just happy to be here with you… with all of you again.”

he tore his eyes away from your face to look at yeji and she smiled knowingly, eyes darting from mark to you. the room felt small to you then, almost suffocating. the sudden appearance of someone to the table brought you to the present.

“dessert will be coming out soon,” the waitress said to ryujin.

your appetite was gone entirely, and you had to get out of there. you leaned over and whispered in ryujin’s ear that you loved her but you were heading up to the room. you felt the tears were coming, because reality was the bitch this time instead of fate.

the kindness mark was showing you during all of this was making your heart ache and it was bringing up the pain that you desperately fought off for five months. excusing yourself from the table, you told everyone goodnight and made a beeline for the elevator that would take you up to the room.

stepping inside and punching the floor number, you hit the close door button frantically and bit your lip to try and keep the tears from coming as long as possible. the doors were almost closed when a hand suddenly blocked it and it opened again, revealing mark and he stepped inside, awkwardly coughing at the dramatics of it all.

you stepped to the side of the elevator and didn’t look up from your fingernails that you played with to avoid eye contact at all costs. the awkward tension filled the elevator thickly and you could feel mark’s stare boring holes into the side of your head. when the elevator finally dinged with the arrival of your floor, you’d never felt more grateful for the annoying sound.

all but running from the elevator, you headed to the room only to realize that, fuck, yes you were actually staying in mark’s room and no, he wasn’t riding the elevator for fun. his steps sounded behind yours and you pointedly didn’t say a word to him as you both entered the room. his presence didn’t deter your tears that had been threatening to spill, in fact it only made them more prevalent and it was taking all that you could do to not let them fall. the click of the door being shut made you flinch a little in anticipation of what came next, and mark cleared his throat.

“so, um…” he began, hesitating while trying to find the right words on how to approach this before continuing. “i think - i think we should talk. you said something’s last night and it… it really has me confused and i just need, no, i deserve an explanation.” when he finished his sentence his words sounded pained.

you did guess that you owed him an explanation.

but you didn’t want to give it to him.

the same way you felt you deserved one as well, but you didn’t want the confirmation.

“i’m sorry, mark.” you said, voice barely above a whisper. and it was the only thing you had to say in that moment, anything over three words and your voice would have cracked. you kept your back to him as you walked over to the bathroom and shut the door, not wanting to see his face during this.

you really were a coward, you thought.

you heard mark approach the other side of the door and stop.

“you’re- you’re sorry?” he asked, and then with a hint of sarcasm, he finally decided to bring up the biggest and obvious elephant in the room. “you’re sorry for what? leaving or are you sorry for what you said last night? are you going to tell me you didn’t mean it now?” and you could only shake your head even though he couldn’t see.

“all of it.” you choked out.

“all- ha, all of it?” his laugh was dry. your silence was answer enough.

“you left me. you left me without an explanation. without a single note and then you changed your number! i thought you had just left the set but i came home to find you gone. what could i have possibly done that would have deserved that? what did i do?”

“it’s…” you started from the other side of the door, tears falling at the desperation in his voice. but mark was on a roll, months of pent up frustration and sadness finally boiling over.

“you were there with me and then you weren’t and you hurt me, y/n. you absolutely broke my heart, you know that? i almost quit the movie entirely.”

“if you had, then it would have been for nothing.” you cried from the other side of the door.

“what are you even talking about?”

you flung open the door suddenly, mark taking in your tear stained face, your eyes red and bloodshot.

“i left you for you, mark.”

“i don’t-.”

“you said i broke your heart, but i broke my own first. i left you for you!”

“i never asked you to do that!”

“you didn’t have to! she did it for you. i left so i wouldn’t hold you back anymore. i was holding you back, i was burdening you, i was keeping you from the successful career you worked so hard to achieve.” you placed your hand on your chest and took a deep breath, “i admit that i was a coward in not waiting, but i couldn’t handle hearing the confirmation of it all from you. so i did it for you, i left so i wouldn’t be selfish.” you spat out the last word like it was poison, the word that had been torturing you these past five months, all while pointing your finger at mark as if to drive home your point.

“she-? you… selfish? what the hell are you even talking about?” he asked, eyebrows fully drawn together in confusion. you scoffed.

“don’t act as if you hadn’t talked to her about me. about how you couldn’t tell me any of this because i was fragile.” your mouth twisted with that sentence, and your emotions didn’t know whether to be angry or sad. so you continued to cry because, yeah, that would cover all the bases.

marks mouth clicked shut as things started to come together in his mind. pieces falling into place and then he was suddenly livid.

mark was silent for a moment, his lips pursed and his eyes thunderous - you could only assume that fury was directed at you considering his eyes never left yours, and you swallowed nervously.

“y/n…” mark started slowly, his voice dropping dangerously low in his anger, “who exactly do you mean when you say the word ‘she’?”

you hesitated a little, never knowing mark to get this angry.

“your… manager.” you murmured and mark’s jaw clenched, and you felt your anger dissipate entirely as his took over. as the seconds ticked on, you watched as mark reached into his back pocket and withdrew his phone, he only broke eye contact for a second to click the name he was searching for and he brought his eyes back to yours. your eyebrows drew together in confusion.

who would he be calling during the middle of the argument - and finally you heard it when the other person answered the phone and you could recognize that sickly sweet voice anywhere. your jaw dropped and you made to stomp away when mark used his other hand to gently hold onto your arm, pulling you a bit closer than you were before to stand in front of him.

“mark, honey, i’ve been waiting for you to call! how’s korea? you just have to tell me all about it.” she asked loudly through the phone and you frowned at the way she spoke to mark.

“korea’s fine,” he chirped politely as if his eyes weren’t telling you otherwise. “my family is well, the wedding is going as planned, and linda, you’ll never guess who i ran into!”

“oh do tell, you know i love the gossip.” she laughed through the phone and you saw mark’s eyes darken.

“y/n.” the anger in which he said your name, but it not being directed at you, was both a relief and worried you at the same time.

the deafening silence from her end was answer enough for mark.

“and she told me the funniest story,” snark dripping from every word, “hilarious actually. but i think i’d rather hear it from the horses mouth, you know?”

“look, mark, sweetie, i’m sure she misunderstood or she must have been confused by our conversation that day, i only meant to tell her-“

“what?” mark interjected. “tell her that she was burdening me? holding me back? that i called her fragile? i think that’s exactly what you meant.”

she hesitated before answering, but her answering tone was the same as she used with you that day.

sweet condescension.

“well, yes. she was bad for you,” she said shortly.

“oh no, i disagree entirely. i think the one bad for me, was in fact, you.” and she sputtered on the other end of the phone and you couldn’t help the small upturn of your lips to hear her at a loss for words, the smile not going unnoticed by mark if the softening of his eyes were any indicator.

you realized in that moment how you let your anxiety and self doubts ruin something that was perfectly fine to begin with.

linda scoffed, the haughty sound coming in loud through the phone’s speaker.

“oh, please. you’ll thank me someday when you’re big and famous, dating some supermodel. someone at your level of fame.”

mark was silent, his eyes taking in your face and he knew how hard hearing things like this must have been for you. he knew of your insecurities, and he thought he did his best to reassure you but he realized the one time it mattered most, he let it slip through the cracks.

he realized his lack of presence in that moment ruined what you both had.

linda took his extended pause as agreement with what she was saying.

“see? you know that i’m right. anyway, mark, honey, let’s-!” mark cut her off mid-sentence.

“no, what i know… is that you’re fired.” he said calmly, and your eyebrows raised and your eyes widened and you opened your mouth to argue - yes, you hated the woman but she had helped him with his career. mark lifted the hand that had been gently holding your arm to place a finger on your lips, effectively shutting you up with a smile on his face.

linda screeched through the phone, an abrasive noise that sounded awfully like a dying cat.

“you can’t fire me, you ungrateful d-.” and mark hung up the phone, tossing it onto the counter of the kitchenette behind him.

you swallowed thickly now at the sudden silence that fell over the room. mark moved his hand from your lips to wipe the tears that had ran down your face earlier and you avoided eye contact with him then at the gentleness of his hands.

“mark, i…”

“you said you loved me, so you left. did you stay away because you loved me too? change your number for the same reason?”

you nodded, “i thought i would be making it easier for you…”

“do you still love me now?” your eyes snapped back up to his. you decided to be truthful.

“i can’t do anything but love you.” mark’s smile at your answer ignited butterflies in your stomach.

“and i…” he said stepping closer into your space, reaching down to hold your hand in his as he brought it to his chest, his heartbeat a steady rhythm that you could feel. “i have no choice but to love you.”

you felt tears well up again in your eyes at his admission, and you bit your lip to try to keep them from spilling over.

“you still… are you still in love with me?” your voice quivered, and you cleared your throat trying to tame the burning sensation that came with holding back your tears.

“without a doubt.”

“well, if you really do love me… if you love me like i love you then…” you looked between his eyes to his lips, and as you blinked the tears you had been holding back fell. and mark tilted his head, his playful smile making you smile with him through the tears.

“then kiss me.”

mark didn’t waste any more time, one hand tangling itself in your hair and the other cupping your jaw tenderly and you melted into the kiss, wrapping your arm around his neck and pulling his body flush against yours. five months of anger and sadness and longing pouring out in the movement of your lips. you were crying still but the tears were more out of happiness this time and mark continued to kiss you through it. he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, lips centimeters from yours, his breath hitting your lips and you closed your eyes, both of you breathing heavily. his voice was soft when he spoke.

“five months spent wasted because i didn’t reassure you enough, i’m… i’m so sorry, y/n.”

“and five months gone because i was too afraid to talk to you… i’m sorry, too.” and you opened your eyes to see he had tears in his eyes this time and you let out a small laugh.

“did you miss me that much?” you joked softly, eyes shining with the happiness that you had pushed down finally seeping through.

“shut up,” he groaned and swept in to kiss you again.

that night, neither of you slept alone in your separate beds.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

the next day found you and mark, surprisingly (to everyone else) friendly, almost flirty, with each other and it didn’t go unnoticed by everyone else in the wedding party. ryujin walked down the aisle to an overjoyed donghyuck and the proceedings went on without a hitch.

the reception was loud, and a bit wild as after the first dance, no other slow song was played. ryujin and donghyuck made it feel like you were clubbing, and if you danced with mark a tiny bit provocatively, no one seemed to notice or care.

during one of your breaks from dancing while you stood near one of the tables, you felt a hand tap on your shoulder and you turned to face them. once you saw their face, your jaw dropped.

“it’s you!” you couldn’t help the gratitude that laced your voice.

the old lady from the airport stood there, the wrinkles from years of smiling showing proudly on her face.

“see, i told you everything would be okay, didn’t i?”

you nodded, smiling and you couldn’t help yourself when you leaned in and gave the woman a hug.

“grandma? you know y/n?” it was mark’s confused voice that came from over your shoulder, coming behind you to rest his hand on the small of your back.

“oh, not really…” she gave you a secret smile, and continued, “but mark, dear. do tell ryujin and donghyuck it was a beautiful wedding for me, i’m sorry but i’m too old to stay up with the younger crowd nowadays.” she patted mark on the arm and said goodnight to you both, leaving you with a wink. mark looked back and forth between you and her and you only shrugged in answer, and you pulled him back out to the dance floor with a smile.

eventually, the night had to come to an end though, but not before the traditional throwing of the bouquet. you were pulled onto the floor with the other bridesmaids and the second ryujin tossed the flowers over her head, the other girls dispersed leaving you to be the only one standing to catch it. you were confused at first but when ryujin gave you a knowing smile, you couldn’t help but laugh at their group effort. and so you turned around to find mark smiling at you and clapping at the edge of the crowd, and you smiled brightly at him as if he hung the stars himself, newfound confidence in every step as you walked up to him.

you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him fully in front of the guests who remained, mostly the small group of friends who all knew each other well. mark wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you slightly off the ground, while your friends cheered dramatically behind you.

breaking the kiss you smiled at mark before he set you down, and both you and mark turned and caught sight of ryujin and donghyuck sharing a highly triumphant high five.

it all clicked then, every step had been planned by your cunning best friend… and you couldn’t even be mad anymore.

how could you be, when it all turned out to be okay?

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

epilogue:

you sat at the table of celebrities like you belonged there, no longer feeling as if you were the misfit amongst them.

a year and a half had passed since ryujin and donghyuck’s wedding and with it came changes.

all of them, you could say, were good.

you battled your anxiety and won… well mostly won, you still had your moments but the second you called mark for reassurance, he was there in an instant with gentle words of affirmation, which you discovered was your love language.

you and mark got married six months after donghyuck and ryujin did, and mark’s reasoning was sound in his opinion.

“i spent five months apart from you, and i think i’ll die if i have to do it again. so i’m locking you down, babe.”

you couldn’t argue with him on that.

and now this moment, the moment where upon hearing mark’s name being called you stood up and cheered, clapping a little louder than the famous people next to you. mark kissed you quickly before running up on stage to receive his award.

it wasn’t an oscar… yet.

but the golden globe would do.

his speech went as he rehearsed with you in your bedroom in the off chance he won. being nominated was enough for him, he had said but you encouraged him to have a speech prepared, just in case.

you had no doubts he would win tonight.

you were right.

his speech was coming to an end, something you could quote with him word for word, until you heard him derail from what he practiced beforehand.

“and i just wanna say the biggest thanks of all to my wife. who, without her, only half of my dream would have been achieved,” he gestured the award to you and the smile he wore was lighting up his entire face. “without you, this wouldn’t matter at all to me. so this one’s all for you, babe. thank you.”

you stood and clapped again, accepting mark back to his seat with an excited hug.

fate - well, ryujin - may have had it out for you, but it was okay in the end.

and you could honestly live with that.

#gimmehyuck #masterlist #nct 127 #nct 127 au #nct #nct dream #nct dream au #mark au #mark lee #mark lee au #mark lee fic #mark lee x you #mark lee x reader #mark lee x y/n #mark lee fluff #mark lee angst #technically? #this made me fall for mark so hard ngl #he’s so precious

[renjunphile]

if my wishes came true, it would have been you | mark lee

PAIRING ✧ nct's mark lee x female reader WORD COUNT ✧ 12.0k TAGS ✧ idol!mark x idol!reader, exes!au, exes to lovers!au, really quite angsty, happy ending, fluff, non-linear narrative

PLAYLIST aka SONGS BY YN ✧ the 1 by taylor swift ; 21 by gracie abrams ; i miss you, i'm sorry by gracie abrams ; champagne problems by taylor swift ; in between by gracie ambrams ; somebody by hwasa and loco ; i know it won't work by gracie abrams, dancing with our hands tied (acoustic) by taylor swift

SUMMARY ✧ persist and resist the temptation to ask if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? (alternatively, every single time you and mark get a chance to talk about your breakup, it never goes as planned)

-

MAY 2021

"NCT are here."

You hum along to the track blasting in your left ear through the singular airpod. It's the first day of your comeback promotions, and while you should feel confident from the many months you'd practiced the song every single day for multiple hours, no amount of time could ever erase the nerves you feel each comeback day.

You're already finished with your hair and makeup, being the first to sit in the chair to give your members some time to wake up from their naps in the van. Though you should all be bright, awake, and preppy for your comeback stage, the reality was that all of you were obliteratingly tired from the near all-nighter in the practice room. Your makeup artists are true magicians for the way they cover up all signs of tiredness even under all those harsh, bright stage lights.

"Unnie, did you hear me?" your youngest member Kali poked your arm incessantly.

"Kali, stop," you whine, pushing her finger away, "I heard you."

"So why didn't you react?"

"Why should I?" you sigh, pausing the track on your phone.

She pauses for a while, choosing to craft her words before replying too hastily, "We should still go and say hi. Haechan is asking if we wanna film a TikTok with them."

"You know they only post with SM idols," you remind her.

"You were in SM too. It's just for fun," she mumbles, "You know how many idols feature on Haechan's private account. Please come."

"You're up to no good, Kali," you squint at her suspiciously, watching the room carefully to see if anyone had overheard. It wasn't really a big deal; all your managers were well-informed, just like your members, and your stylists were basically your friends.

"I already talked to our manager and Haechan talked to their manager," Kali wrapped her fingers around your wrist delicately, but pulling to encourage you to stand up, "Let's go."

The walk to the hallway where the NCT members agreed to meet the two of you wasn't exactly a long one, but the rumblings of nerves bubbling in your stomach made it feel like a million years. You weren't stupid; you knew exactly what to expect and you wouldn't put it past your maknae to meddle in a time like this.

"Oh look, they're here already," Kali was biting a grin behind her words as 3 figures came into view. Haechan gives you a warm smile and a famous bear hug before he was shoved away. 

"Noona," you resist a pout as one of the boys you had been taking care of since you were younger wrapped you up in a big hug, "Haven't seen you in so long. Missed you."

"Missed you too Ji. You grow an inch every time I see you," you also resist the urge to ruffle up his perfectly styled purple hair out of fear of getting hunted by his hair stylist, "I like this purple on you."

He gives you an appreciative grin and somehow you still see him as the tiny, shy boy running energetically around the halls of the company building after being chased by his fellow trainees. Jisung moves on to greet your member, who was still in conversation with Haechan.

It's definitely not that you dread having to face Mark Lee. It's totally not the fact that he's your ex-boyfriend. Or the fact that you're still in love with him. Or the fact that he's still in love with you. No, none of that.

Totally.

"You look really pretty, Y/N," he begins slowly, taking in your appearance in front of him, having not seen each other for a few months.

Mark Lee stands in front of you stoic, hands by his side and feet together. It's almost like he's fighting his instinct to wrap you up in his arms like he's done most of his life because you sure know you're having to fight that instinct too.

"Thanks, Mark. I like your blue hair," you smile softly, "How are you?"

"I'm good. Amazing, even. I guess," he's mumbling, running his hands through said hair you just complimented and you can tell he's nervous, "I love the song. And the whole album. I can tell which songs you wrote. You always make me so proud."

Ouch. It stings your heart whenever he says things like that. How could you have let go of someone so sweet?

"Thanks. Congratulations on your first album and coming back with Dream."

"Ah, thanks. I fought so hard to come back to the group and I'm really happy they finally listened to me," he began, "You know how much I love them."

"Yeah, I know."

You're barely meeting his eyes, but when you do, it feels like he's hesitating in his words.

"Mark-"

"Happy birthday by the way," he rushes out, "For yesterday. I'm sorry that I didn't text. Or call."

"It's okay," you reassure him, knowing that that was probably easier for you both that he didn't.

"How did you spend your birthday?"

"The members got me cake. Coffee, my favourite," you recount, "I did a live for a bit, but other than that we were practicing all day for today."

"Oh, I'm sorry. That really sucks," he frowns.

"You know how it goes. I'll have more birthdays to celebrate anyway-"

"But you didn't celebrate last year either!" he protests.

"Maybe next year, then," you pull your lips into a tight smile, "It's okay Mark. Don't worry about it. I'm not really fond of my birthdays anymore and 22's not a big deal."

He sighs while looking at you, "You deserve to celebrate your birthday no matter what. I hope you can find some time to do something  for yourself."

You chuckle lightly, "That'll be hard to come by. I don't know how you've done it with multiple groups all these years, Mark. I've only been debuted for three years and it's never got any easier. You were really stretching yourself thin, huh?"

"I guess," he's playing with his fingers, so you know he has something to say.

"Just say it, Mark. Whatever you want to say."

You can read him like a book and you've always been able to. It's not your fault that the book is wide open, as compared to the way you've always been- shut, bound, and locked.

"I just wanted to say I miss you. That's all. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Thanks to the secluded hallway that Haechan had found and led you to, the coast was clear enough for you to close the distance between you and Mark even just by a bit more. His breath hitches as you place a hand on his arm.

"Thanks for caring, Mark. I miss you too."

He smiles at you softly and the two of you are so engrossed in each other to notice that Kali, Haechan and Jisung had disappeared a while ago. You know it's time for you to go back though.

The worst part of the whole situation wasn't the breakup itself. Of course, the breakup hurt both of you for a long time and you don't even think you're recovered. It did happen over a year ago, but that wasn't the worst part.

The worst part is knowing that every time you meet again, walking away hurts more each time. It's the fact that there's nothing you can do but listen to your heart break with each step you take away from each other. It's the fact that there's nothing you can do about the fact that you still love each other more than anything else in this world.

-

2014

Mark Lee was known to be SM's golden child. In the future, he'd be known as the most over-worked in the company, due to his talents and resilience, but now, he's just Mark Lee, second to you.

You'd done everything before Mark. You were born first. You moved to Korea first. You beat him joining the company by 6 months and you beat him getting announced as part of SM Rookies just by 7 days.

None of that mattered because it was always just you and him together, wherever. Sure, you trained and practiced separately, but lunchtimes, downtimes, company gatherings- it was always the two of you attached to the hip. There was really nothing the company could say- the two of you were barely 15 so what was the worst you could do?

"How long do you think it'll be before your debut?" the two of you are lying down on the grass in a park a few minutes away from the building. His hands are rifling through the blades, yanking them up every so often, while you made daisy chains quietly.

He hums in response, "I don't know. Soon I hope, but I've only been here for like just over a year. Realistically, I'd say like 2 years. Don't tell anyone I told you, but I heard Johnny hyung talking to the manager about some kind of project that the company has been thinking of for a while. Something about having a group with infinite members!"

Your eyes widened at the thought, "Wow, really? EXO debuted with 12 and I thought that was a lot!"

"Yeah, right? But there are only like 9 of us in SM Rookies right now. How many do you think they'll start with and how am I going to get lines in a song if there's so many of us?"

You nudge him, "Well, with your awesome talent and writing skills of course. I can't wait to see what ends up happening to you guys- oh yeah, by the way, how's that new trainee you guys are training with? Donghyuck, right?"

"New?" he sat up with wide eyes, twisting his body to look at you, "He's been here for like 5 months and it's been the worst 5 months of my life! He's just so infuriating. His voice is amazing, sure, but he never listens and is always talking and hanging off me! I told him that he makes me want to leave the company."

You laugh at his frustrated expression, "Ha, you'd never leave the company. You'd never leave me behind. Plus, I bet you'll be best friends in a few years. Opposites attract and all that."

"Hm, but you and I are quite similar. Don't you think?"

There were definitely some traits that you shared to both be enduring the same path. Resilient, hard-working, brave, and enduring were all ones. After all, it's a big leap of faith to train to have the chance to be an idol just at 12 or 13 with no guaranteed future.

When it came down to it though, you'd like to think that there were also traits you each had that weren't always necessarily opposites all the time, but traits that complemented each other.

Mark liked to talk; you liked to listen. Mark was optimistic and would always be the one to cheer you up on your particularly moody days. You were Mark's calm through it all. Mark loved to rap; you found your passion in singing. Mark liked carrots and would take them off your plate in the cafeteria and swap them with his peas. Mark's hands were calloused from his guitar-playing, while yours were smooth and soft when he held them.

"No, I think we're the perfect example of opposites attract."

"Well then that's why you're my best friend," he grinned over at you while you slid a daisy chain bracelet onto his wrists, "Forever and whenever."

"Always," you grinned.

-

AUGUST 2021

"What are you doing here?"

"No happy birthday Mark?" he teases, holding a bouquet of flowers and a grocery store plastic bag in his hands on your doorstep.

"Come in before anyone sees you," you pull him inside your dorm, sticking your head out the hallway to see if it was empty, "How did you get here?"

"Relax, Y/N. My manager drove me and I was in all this," he pulls out a mask and a beanie from his pocket to show you.

"Oh, good. Happy birthday, I guess, but what are you doing here?" you question him again, looking at the contents in his grasp.

"Well, it all started when Hyuck said that we were throwing a birthday party for me. Then Jisung invited Kali and obviously, you too. And your members, of course. Then you said you couldn't come because you're busy," his eyes dart to the episode of Modern Family on your TV and the blanket lazily thrown on the couch, combined with your pajamas, "So I didn't want to come to the party anymore."

"But all my members are at your dorm," you frown, "There's still a party?"

"Yeah, I guess. Gives Jisung an opportunity to spend more time with his crush, which I'm sure Kali appreciates."

"So they're hosting your birthday party," you hum, "Without you? And you came here to what? Check that I'm busy?"

"I know you're not busy. Erin told me so, which I suspected anyway. I know it's kind of rude for me to come to force you to spend time with me when you didn't even want to come to my birthday party in the first place, but I thought I would try." he shrugs, "Is that okay?"

Mark is adorned in a white T-shirt and grey joggers. He's clearly not dressed for a party and your member clearly told him that you're staying inside and moping to your comfort show while you try to avoid your ex-boyfriend on his birthday. Plan failed, you guess.

Here's the thing: you've always been the worst at saying no to Mark. The one time you did, the world crashed around you. You would've thought it would have got easier to say no to him after already experiencing the worst-case scenario, but looking into his slightly pleading chocolate eyes shows you otherwise.

"Of course, Mark. You're the birthday boy," you finally say after a period of silence where Mark felt like his heart was thumping out of his chest.

"There's no one else I'd rather spend my birthday with," he hums lightly, even though his words are loaded, "Here, a big bouquet for missing last year too."

The tradition started on his 15th birthday in 2014. Even though it was his birthday, he had got you a bouquet of flowers to thank you for being his best friend of one year and making him feel all the more comfortable in his first year in Korea. You were his dance partner, his classmate, his fellow English speaker, and his best friend. He got you flowers again the next year, then the year after, and again and again for being his partner through everything.

The last birthday you shared with Mark before the two of you broke up was his 20th birthday in 2019 and he had prepared his own bouquet that year, choosing all your favourite flowers and colours and wrapping it all up himself. Mark was selfless like that- thinking of other people even on his birthday.

"It's beautiful," you examine the flowers- pink and red camellias and carnations, white primroses, pink peonies, red roses and baby's breaths. Taking that flower language course with Mark back when you were both 17 comes as a regret now, with the messages he's sending you through the bouquet. You hope it's just a coincidence.

"Anyway, I brought us- or I made my manager buy us- some Oreo ice cream, peanut butter chocolate, some ramen, and chicken and mushroom pastries," he grins as he pulls each one out of the bag, "And I brought cake, obviously."

You hold yourself back from saying what you would say every time he presented your favourite pastry from your childhood home to you- 'you know the way to my heart'.

"I haven't had one in so long," you gasp, taking it from him and preparing your plate already, "Thanks Mark. Why are you so considerate on your own birthday?"

"I like to celebrate the people I love on my birthday too. I wouldn't be me without them," he plops himself on the bar stool at your breakfast bar while you sigh hopelessly. He'll never leave your heart alone, "I wanted to soften the blow too."

You turn to him slowly, "Soften the blow?"

He sees the panic in your eyes and lets out that melodious laugh you've always loved, "Oh, nothing like that. Nothing to tell you. I just wanted to bribe you to talk to me on my birthday. I thought after over a year you might be ready to talk?"

"About what?"

"Us."

You thank the manufacturers of the heavenly pastry slice that only takes 90 seconds in the microwave. You set the plate down in front of Mark and take the seat next to him.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Are you still my best friend?"

"Mark, come on," you began warily, knowing the difficult conversation you were about to have.

He meets your eyes and you feel the pain reflected in them, "When we decided to give our relationship a try when we were 16, we pinky swore that no matter what happens, we'll always be best friends. Always. Right?"

You find the power to break his gaze and stare down to your hands on your lap, "We did."

"So, why can't we go back to being friends? I know, I know when you broke up with me, you said that you don't think we could stay friends. I understood, of course, and I wanted to give you some space. Well, at least initially, but it's been over a year now and I really miss us. Your friendship meant everything to me even if I can't have you as my girlfriend." his tone is heartbreaking in the way that it's vulnerable and pleading.

"I told you when we broke up that breaking up was the hardest choice I'd ever have to make. It blew the choice to leave SM out of the water. I didn't want to break up, but it felt like I had no choice," you explained slowly, "When we first started dating, I knew I already loved you, but growing up together and debuting and going through everything I went through really taught me what real love in real life looked like and I could never have predicted at 16 how I felt for you at 20. Mark, you're everything to me, I hope you know. I said I didn't want to be friends when we broke up because how could I have lived with myself seeing you and talking to you still knowing I had you in the way that I did and knowing I loved you that intensely but not being able to show it anymore? How could I live with myself still having you around knowing I let go of the greatest thing that's ever happened to me?"

Mark Lee was brave at 16 when he kissed you for the first time and asked you to be his girlfriend against all the bans and rules. Mark Lee was brave at 18 watching you walk away from everything you both knew at SM Entertainment and for not running after you to stop you because you both knew it was for the best. Mark Lee was brave at 20 hearing you sob through the phone while you were halfway around the world because you just couldn't do this anymore. Mark Lee is brave at 22, taking your warm hands in his, and Mark Lee is brave when he lifts your chin up to meet his gaze and asks you this:

"Why can't we just get back together? This year apart is hurting us more than it's benefitting us."

People say that the eyes are the windows to the soul- that the eyes say everything someone can't say. Your eyes are filled with tears, yes, but also love and fear and all the emotions in between.

The problem was that your brain always rules your life, keeping your heart's true desires always suppressed deep within.

"Mark," you trail, before he cuts you off.

"I don't see the problem, Y/N. Both our companies knew we were dating and you're not a rookie in the industry anymore. I mean, we dated through your whole rookie era! I acknowledge everything you said and felt when we broke up and I wanted to give you time to work through those emotions, but I'm asking if anything has changed. Has it?"

"I've never stopped loving you, but I'm still scared Mark. I'm even more scared now as your career grows," you say quietly, "I don't want to hurt you. If anything gets out, it won't just hurt you or me, because I could take it if it only hurt me, but it's our members, Mark. You know how fans feel about idols who date and it's never ever as simple as 'if they're a true fan they'll be happy for me'. That's not how the industry works."

He squeezes your hands, "Then we'll get better at sneaking around! You know the boys love you so much and they know how much our relationship meant to me and they'd never ever get in the way of that. Or we can just text and call and I don't even have to see you in person when it's risky. I just want the chance to tell you that I still love you every single day as I promised."

There it is again, the sound of your heart breaking at the most loving boy on the planet.

"Will you let me think about it? At least about being your best friend still? I'm sorry that I can't give you an answer right now on your birthday," you murmur. The confessions from Mark came as no surprise, but he never fails to leave you speechless with no clear thoughts in your brain and your heart always full.

"I'm just asking for a chance. Just for anything you can give me," he smiles finally, "How about we eat all this and continue your Modern Family? It's still my favourite show, so I couldn't dream of a better way to spend my birthday."

"I'd like that."

-

2015

"I'm debuting," Mark barges into the near-empty practice room, huffing and panting like he just ran a marathon, "Y/N, oh my God!"

You're sat cross-legged on the floor with your phone propped up in front of you. Your eyebrows are stitched together tightly, indicating that you were probably either criticising yourself on a recording or trying to learn a choreography. The moment you realise that it's Mark, your whole body unclenches and you relax as you pause the video. You don't comprehend the weight of his words until he says them again.

"Y/N, Y/N, I'm going to debut!" he's practically screaming in joy as he belly slides towards you and crashes into you, wrapping his arms around you.

"Oh my God, Mark! Really? Tell me everything right now!" you squeeze him back, pride bursting in your chest.

When you both joined SM, you came with the obvious dream of being an idol entertainer. Sure, the company can make all these empty promises to you at the start, but with the way the industry works, nothing is really ever truly for certain. For you, the company had not given you any time scale or idea of what direction they wanted you to go in. You weren't even really that hopeful, considering the company just debuted Red Velvet one year ago, but you were still enduring.

However, it was almost time to debut a new boy group since it had been 3 years and counting since EXO broke into the scene. You were always certain that Mark was always a part of that plan.

"So, do you remember last year when I told you about the infinite boy group idea? It was true! The company gathered all the male trainees and showed them their idea- it's called NCT and it's so cool, trust me! So it's like they're going to debut groups within NCT like different members in each group!"

"Mark, that sounds amazing. Which group are you going to be in?"

"Uh, they said all of them?" Mark frowns in confusion, "Like the first is going to be this unit where members can switch out anytime and it only has a comeback whenever it wants to, and then the second one is like a normal permanent group which I think I'll be with Hyuck and the hyungs, and the third one is a group where we graduate once we hit 20! But I don't think that one's fully confirmed with members yet."

He's running out of breath explaining it to you and his eyes are going crazy so you just laugh and hug tighter, "That's a lot of information, but it still sounds amazing. See Mark, I told you that you're going to be the most important person in this building! You're literally the best."

Mark nudges you so that you break away, "Psh, shut up Y/N. It's still a few months out anyway. We're going to be writing and practicing the debut song for the first unit really soon though."

"And I'm so proud of you," you tell him sincerely, knowing that there are not many people who you can say have worked harder than Mark to achieve their dreams, "Do you feel scared at all?"

He swivels his body so that he's sitting in front of you and he starts playing with your fingers like he always does, "Naturally, I guess. Debuting is a whole new world and being an idol too, but this is what I've been working towards so why shouldn't I be more excited? I've been waiting for this day, but I guess it's human nature to have fear of the unknown."

"It's definitely not wrong to not be scared. I'd be over the moon if they finally tell me I'm going to debut," you sigh dreamily.

"And you will! They can't keep you hidden here any longer and you know that the company loves you so much! You've given everything for them so you deserve it all back," Mark is now rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of your hand, "I can't wait until we achieve our dream together. No matter how long it takes, we'll both be standing on that stage together as idols. It's so close now, Y/N."

You smile softly at the boy, ever the optimist, "I can't wait for it too, Mark. Don't let the fame get to your head so quickly and don't forget me when you're famous okay?"

"You're so silly," Mark laughs, "You'll always be my best friend- wait scratch that-"

"I won't always be your best friend?"

"No! You will! But this is literally the best day ever and I have all this adrenaline and energy right now and if I don't say it now, I don't think I ever will, but all I'm saying is that I've been by your side for nearly 3 years now and you're literally my other half and it's so goddamn obvious that I like you so much and I really want to be your boyfriend. Okay, exhale Mark."

Your eyes widen at his confession and you slide away from him in shock, "Wait, really? You like me? You want to be my boyfriend?"

He looks at you like you just grew two heads, "Y/N, that's literally exactly what I said. Do you like me back?"

Shyness begins to creep out of you while your whole face flushes red. You've never been the type to be shy around Mark, even in the times his words and actions make you feel giddy.

"Mhm, you're my first real crush that developed when we met. I thought I'd grow out of it, but it kept getting stronger the closer we got," you admit.

The first day that Mark Lee walked into the practice rooms and got introduced to the trainees, you thought he was the cutest boy in the world. He was dorky and shy at first, but when he performed in front of you, he turned into a completely different person that made you fall for him even more.

The two of you were the same age and he was your deskmate in Korean lessons. Though Mark had grown up speaking Korean, he had never lived in Korea speaking it almost 100% of the time, so the company thought it would be good for him to join your lessons, especially to get training for the language he would be using as an idol.

The two of you became very fast friends and by the end of the month, you were chasing each other in the cafeteria and sharing food in corners with your own inside jokes.

His face breaks out into a grin, tackling you into a hug, "Aw, my little Y/N likes me back!"

You roll your eyes playfully and shove him off your body, "First of all, I'm 3 months older than you, and second of all, you have been spending way too much time with Donghyuck."

"Yeah that little devil rubs off on people," he sighs, "Whatever. Does that mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

"Wait, wait, wait. We have to consider the implications! Especially if you're debuting soon! Are we going to tell the company? How is this going to work?" you bombard him with questions, playing your part as the realist in this friendship, "Is this a good idea."

"I mean, half the hyungs have secret girlfriends so we can ask them for help and at least it helps that you're in the company with me so if they do find out it's easier to protect the both of us," Mark replies, "I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about this, believe it or not. You keep me up awake at night sometimes."

"You're so cheesy," you mumble, turning away to hide your blushing face, "But I guess I do want to be your girlfriend- but what if we break up? I don't want to lose you as my best friend!"

"How about this then," he extends his pinky out to you, "Let's pinky swear that even if we break up and this relationship goes horribly wrong, we'll be best friends still. Forever and whenever."

His words are dripping with sincerity and it surrounds you like a blanket. There's no one in this world that you trust more than Mark Lee when you entwine your own pink around his and smile at him, "Always."

Your pinkies are still attached a minute later when he's looking at you with a goofy smile.

You glare at him, "What's going on in that big head of yours?"

"If we're dating, then does that mean I can kiss you?"

The thought of kissing Mark had admittedly crossed your mind more than you could bare to say out loud. You wanted to play it off cool- shove him and roll your eyes or something, but truthfully, you really did want to kiss your dorky best friend Mark Lee.

"I mean, I guess," you shrug, "If you want to."

"Ha ha, I do," he starts leaning in closer and your heart is beating faster.

This was it. You were going to kiss your best friend-turned-boyfriend in the middle of a practice room. He was going to be your first kiss too!

Mark's face is so close that you can feel his breath on your lips. You can tell he's never done this before with how slowly and nervously he's advancing, but you can see the hope in his eyes.

Your eyes flutter shut. Your lips are almost touching, just ghosting over each others.

"Wait!" you groan as he opens his mouth, "If I'm your first real crush, then who's your first crush overall?"

You smirk, "Jongin-oppa. Duh."

-

2022

This was the biggest concert of your career. Playing the Olympic Stadium had always just been a distant daydream - something to dream about just to amuse you or occupy time. You'd never thought that you would actually live to see the day when that dream came to fruition.

It wasn't even a realistic dream. No girl groups had ever played their own concert at Jamsil Olympic Stadium, but your group was going to be the first.

Cameras were pointed all around you backstage as you prepared to go on for your opening.

"Leader, give us a pep talk," your bandmate Yana whines while nudging you. You gather in a circle, pretending you're not deafened by the noise of your fans screaming just past the partition, where they're waiting in anticipation.

The 5 of you lean closer, putting your heads together and your hands in the middle. Before that, you make sure to look at their faces carefully and examine each member's expressions.

Jian is a year older than you, but she's nervous as hell and can barely get any words out. You're not worried because she's proven time after time that she's born to be on stage and that she completely transforms in front of an audience showering her in love. Yana seems nervous too, but she's better at hiding it and it comes out through rambles of sometimes unintelligible speech. Erin is gripping her microphone tightly with a poker face, probably recalling all of her raps in her head quickly, even though you know it comes second nature to her. Your youngest, Kali, seems the most excited. That kid is the most fearless idol you've ever met and you're grateful for someone like her on the team.

As for you? Well, you're a mix of all of your members. It's coming up to a decade now since you started training and you still have to take everything that this career throws at you one by one. The feeling backstage is not exactly overwhelming- it's more pride and joy and excitement to be out there and perform the best concert you have to give.

"No one can ever take this away from us. We're the first freaking girl group to host a show here! We've worked so hard for this and we absolutely deserve it. Everyone out there is here for us, so we should give it our all and play the best show ever. Don't let your nerves get to you. Just relax and be the amazing and talented performers I know we all are," you breathe out, "I'm really thankful for you guys and I'm so happy to have you by my side with me for this. We're exactly where we should be. I really love you guys so much. Let's kill it, yeah? 3, 2, 1, Fighting!"

Your members release a chuckle and you all wrap your arms around each other in a group hug. Soon, your cues begin in your in-ear monitors and you break up to take your positions on the platform that will lift you up to the stage.

The concert starts off without a hitch. Everything is perfect and the energy you get as each song progresses is nothing like you've ever felt. The sea of fans is expansive and blinding and you still have to check you're not dreaming every few moments. You eventually settle into the stage and the concert slows down a bit with your solo performances.

Your company had encouraged you all to perform something of your own choosing and while you had a vast repertoire of songs tucked away on your GarageBand, they were mostly unfinished, too personal or waiting to be adapted to your group to go onto your future albums. The song had to be something that would only ever be just for you, but something you could bare to release into the world for everyone else to hear.

Okay, so maybe you let your emotions rule you and get the best of you. Maybe the song you chose was the wrong one to invite your fans to insert themselves into. Maybe it was too personal to sing a song about Mark Lee in front of the biggest crowd you'd ever played in your life, but when else could you?

The baby grand piano is gleaming in the centre of the stage and your blue dress is sparkling from the way the lights hit the crystals adorning the whole slip. You're admittedly more nervous about this, but you think it's more to do with the fact that you know Mark Lee is in the stadium, somewhere.

Your company had warned you that if you wanted to sing this song, you had to do a little speech before that would throw them off your scent, "Hi guys," you pause for their screams, "I know you guys enjoyed Kali's energetic dance and Jian's amazing original song! For my segment, I thought we could have a little chill time and not to dampen your spirits, but I wanted to show you guys this heartbreak track that I wrote after watching too many sad rom-coms. I really hope that none of you guys can relate and if anyone ever breaks your heart, just send them my way, okay? I hope you guys enjoy it. This is '21'."

You let out a deep breath and remind yourself that this was the right choice. Your fingers glide over the keys perfectly like it's muscle memory from the year you've been working on the song. You send a prayer to higher beings that Mark won't kill you as you begin the first lines.

"I missed your 21st birthday. I've been up at home; almost tried to call you, don't know if I should. Hate to picture you half-drunk, happy. Hate to think you went out without me. I'm sorry if you blame me, if I were you I would. Thought you'd see it coming, but you never could. I still haven't heard from your family, but you said your mom always loved me."

Mark celebrated your 21st birthday with you. Public dates were not a thing in your relationship, but this man made every effort to make the best out of your situation. He kicked out your members from your dorm after enlisting their help to decorate the place top to bottom in rose gold banners and balloons. After taking cooking lessons for weeks previously, he had then covered your dining table with expensive cloth and filled up two glasses with wine to go with the steak that he had perfectly cooked all for you. He then took you to the couch and serenaded you with a love song about how much you mean to him and how thankful he was for you. On top of all that, you had boxes and boxes of presents to unwrap that were all thoughtful, beautiful, or meaningful. Mark Lee was the perfect boyfriend.

For Mark's 21st birthday, you were sat cross-legged on your sofa with your phone placed on the table in front of you, face up. It was as if you were waiting for him to be the one to call when you were the one who broke his heart just a few weeks earlier and asked to not be friends.

You were drinking the wine that he poured for you on your birthday and you were half-drunk, punching in his number on your keypad, because even though you deleted his number, you already knew it off by heart. There was just something in you that refused to carry it through. You were a coward and Mark Lee celebrated his birthday without you for the first time in 7 years.

"I see the look in your eye and I'm biting my tongue. You were the love of my life since I was young. When the night is over, don't call me up I'm already under. I get a little bit alone sometimes and I miss you again. I'll be the love of your life inside your head. When the night is over, don't call me up I'm already under."

Later on that night, you're lying wide awake and staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars that you and Mark had decided to plaster all around your ceiling when you were bored one day. The crowd seemed to love the song thankfully and it was easy to get their energy back up. People placed meaning into everything idols did, so you weren't surprised at the people who were making guesses about your love life and the subject of the song. Whatever, they'd never get it right, anyway.

Your phone ringing cuts through the silence and you curse, hoping it won't wake up the other girls in the dorm. They're probably dead asleep from the high-energy concert anyway.

"You're still up?" his voice is grainy through the speaker.

"You're the one that called. Did you not want me to answer?" you quip back, "It's the adrenaline, I think."

"Touché. I was going to leave a voicemail, but this is better, I guess," Mark uttered, "The concert was amazing, by the way. I'm sorry we didn't come and say hello backstage, but we really enjoyed it."

"Thanks, Mark and thank the boys for me too, okay?" you instruct.

"Mhmm, of course," he replies, "That song you wrote was good, you know. But you might've as well called it 'Mark'."

You're laughing softly at his comment, "I should've changed the number, I know. But shut up- if you know it's for you, then why don't you follow my words? I said don't call me tonight."

"I've never been good at following rules when it comes to you," Mark sighs, "Plus, there's not a lot of times I can just call you up like this. At least I had something to say to you."

"You can always call if you want."

"Would you always answer?"

You pause to think, but Mark takes that as confirmation.

"Have you thought about what I said? 6 months ago when I asked if you wanted to be friends again? Or even get back together?"

"That question keeps me awake every night," you joke, "But today, when I was just looking out at the fans and greeting the idols that came backstage after the concert, it really made me think about how much I wanted to be doing all of this with you. I've always regretted what happened between us because it wasn't a choice I wanted to make. There are no words to describe the way that love manifests in front of you from the fans. I always find myself wishing you were still here by my side."

"Hm, cryptic. Is that an answer to my question or do I have to wait another 6 months to call you up and ask again?"

"How long are you going to keep asking?" you uttered, the feeling of disappointment taking over your body as you still couldn't find the courage to finally give in and allow yourself to be happy.

"Until you say yes again."

-

JULY 2020

The world was still shut as you knew it, yet you were halfway around the world from the place you grew to call home. Your company was generous to give you two months off to spend with your loved ones, and you chose to spend some time cooped up in your parents' house and your childhood home because even though there were so many quarantining requirements to get between the two countries, you hadn't seen your parents in almost 3 years.

Of course, you missed your members, but you lived with them and would continue to see them nearly every day for as long as you could keep your career going. Of course, you missed Mark, but it's not like you could go and see him anyway with the tough restrictions imposed on the Korean citizens.

There was also one big- scratch that- giant problem looming over your and your company's heads. The bane of your existence and public enemy number 1 Dispatch had dangled over your heads the threat of releasing the photos they had grabbed of you and Mark abroad in Vancouver at the start of the year. It wouldn't have been damning evidence considering it was the only photo set they had acquired of the two of you, but you were holding hands with your eyes clearly in view. 

Your companies had threatened to sue, of course, but Dispatch has never been scared. Then, your companies tried to play the guilt-trip card and interrogate them on why they would care to do such a thing when the world was suffering enough as it is. Alas, nothing got through to Dispatch. Eventually, your companies surrendered to pay a preposterous amount to get rid of the problem and it probably didn't even make a dent in SM's savings, but it surely hurt your growing but small company even if SM took the majority of the bill. 

It was completely eating you up and tearing your insides to know that because of your slip-up with Mark, the trainees in your company had to get their debut pushed back by a good probable few years.

Mark had been the perfect boyfriend, supporting you through your change to your new company and your short training period before your debut. Mark had been there to metaphorically hold your hand as you got to know the other girls and make lifelong sister bonds out of it. Mark had been there to cheer you on in the early mornings when you were doing your first few stages. Mark had been there when your first comeback did even better than your debut and propelled you to the top of the industry.

So why, oh why, were you thinking about whether being together is good for everyone involved? There you found yourself in a dark room, the phone next to your head as soft cries and hiccups escaped your lips.

"Baby, please tell me what's wrong. I hate when you cry and it's really hurting me that I'm not there with you right now. Do you want me to come there? Cause I will! I'll say I'm sick or something." he's rambling through the phone and you can hear that it's raining heavily in Seoul.

"Mark, you know that I love you right?"

"Of course I do," he coos gently, "And you're my once-in-a-lifetime great love. I love you too, baby. What's wrong?"

You don't even believe the words that come out of your mouth when you whisper them, "I can't do this anymore Mark. I think we need to break up."

"What? Y/N, this is not funny," his voice instantly turns serious.

"I'm sorry Mark, but I'm serious," you're sobbing at this point and you're surprised he can even still understand you, "I really don't want to do this but-"

"So why are you doing this? Look, let's just talk when you get back, okay? You're coming home soon, right? Or I can take a flight there, but baby, don't make these rash decisions- we're just missing each other."

"The guilt is eating me up, Mark," you confess in hushed tones, "I feel like I don't deserve to be happy. And every time I'm with you, I feel only this sense of anxiety about being caught together that I can't shake. I love you so much, Mark, but I don't know why I feel like this."

"Y/N, we've dealt with so much over the years and we've fought through everything together! We can work through this together, I promise. Just give me some time to think about what to do and everything will be okay-" he's crying now too and it breaks your heart to hear it because he barely ever cries, "I'll get the company to pay yours back what you paid to those assholes. Come on, baby."

"Mark," you whimper, "I ruined the company. I don't want to hurt my members either. Even if we admit to dating, imagine the hate that my group will face! I don't want to let them down any more than I already have."

"I'll tell the fans to not hate- Y/N just tell me what I can do to stop whatever this break-up idea in your head is. We're meant to be, Y/N. We're each other's perfect match."

"I don't love you any less, Mark. Please remember that. I need to do this for my members and for my company that took a leap of faith in me. I don't want to walk away from you, but I don't see any other choice. I don't want to hurt you or your members either. I can't be seen with you."

His voice is small and strained, "You're breaking my heart, Y/N."

"And I'm never going to forgive myself for it."

-

EARLY 2018

This was definitely the hardest decision of your life and it wasn't one that you took lightly either. It was something you had been thinking about for over a year and more intensely when the company started to press you on extending your exclusive training contract.

Herin Seo had entered SM just before you did and she lived and trained with you. She was your best friend outside of Mark and it broke your heart when she left the company only after 4 years in 2017. There were only a few months left on her contract, but she was desperate to get an out and an idol survival show finally gave her the motivation to break free.

Right now, she's taking the seat in front of you after setting down your favourite drinks from your favourite cafe that she still remembers, "Iced vanilla matcha latte for me and an iced oat latte for my best friend."

"You're the best Herin! My treat next time," you promise as you take the first sip. It's been a while since you've come to the café since it hurts to go when it used to be your spot with Herin.

"Well better be soon because I'm leaving in 5 days," she pouts, "I'm sorry I could only come to visit for a short time."

"It's okay. I'm glad to see you anyway after all these months," you grin, "How's settling back in Manchester?"

"I mean it's always been home but it took me a few months to really get to grips with the fact that I wasn't leaving after a week like I did when I would visit during my training. It's really weird to know England is now my permanent home and that I'm going to start school again there," she looks outside the large window that overlooks the river, "I really really miss Seoul."

You take her hand and muster your best comforting smile, "I'm really sorry that things didn't turn out how we wanted them to."

"Ha, it's not your fault Y/N. I mean, you're in the same boat; what are you planning to do with this contract thing?"

You sigh at the age-old question that's been plaguing your mind for months. In fact, your meeting with the company to decide your future was tomorrow and you still had no concrete idea of what you wanted, "I really don't know Herin. SM has been everything I've known for 5 years and everyone I love is at the company. I don't even know how to switch agencies or what happens at other agencies. At the same time, I know they're planning for a group soon, but I have this feeling that I can't shake when I think about it. I look at Jimin and Minjeong and my sweet baby Yizhou and I don't think I'm what the company wants."

"But they've invested so much time and money into you!" Herin furrows her eyebrows, "Surely they're building a group around you, Yizhuo, Koeun, Lami, and Hina! We were a pre-debut team! They can't just disregard all of you guys, right?"

"I wouldn't put it past them," you're fiddling nervously with your hands, "They've been good to me, but they're a business at the end of the day. I'm so torn up and I was thinking you could help me. How did you know that you wanted to leave the company?"

She thinks for a while before answering your question, "Well the survival show was just the reason why I left before my contract was up, but I already knew that I wasn't going to stay on and re-sign. For me, it just felt like I had more to give, but the environment I was in wasn't letting me grow anymore. I felt like there was nothing more I could give to SM. Even though Idol School didn't work out for me, I was still glad that I went."

You nod along to her story, "I haven't told anyone about this Herin. Mark's been bugging me about my terms for re-signing my contract, so I don't think it's even fathomable for him for me to leave."

"It's about you, Y/N. This is your story, your career, and your decision. There are going to be a lot of people that are going to be hurt or angry, but they will never understand what you're going through. Especially not the people who already debuted," Herin advises, "Look, talk about it with Mark tonight, and don't leave it until after your meeting because that might hurt more, but if he really loved you and wanted what's best for you, he would trust in your decision."

"You're right Herin. Thanks for being there for me."

So, you called Mark later on that night to come over. You had cooked up a few dishes for you to share and asked your dorm mates if they could give you a few hours for some alone time. Telling Mark was definitely going to be hard, but you couldn't imagine the conversation with the girls, who were going to be the most hurt. You remember when Herin left- you weren't angry, but you were overwhelmingly sad about the thought of the girl you started your journey with not being there anymore. That was when you started to question if you should still be there too, but you were scared to instill this thought in your other younger trainees that maybe thought they still had a chance.

"Hi baby," Mark is beaming when you open the door to him. He quickly shuts the door behind him with his foot and wraps you up in a tight hug, making sure to plant a kiss on your lips and then all over your face, "I missed your gorgeous face so much- oh my God the apartment smells so good! What did you cook?"

"Just some beef and rice," you lead him over to the dining table with the food set out already.

"Oh my gosh, you're so amazing," Mark smooches your cheek affectionately and takes his seat on the table. You had lived at the dorm for your whole time at SM and along the way, Mark had chosen his own seat at your dining table for when you had dinners inside, which was almost every date you shared.

You start with small talk, letting him eat and enjoy his meal before you inevitably break a little bit of his precious heart. You hadn't seen Mark for a few days since he was busy with some schedules, so he tells you all about the boys and what they've been up to recently. They're working on the biggest project NCT has ever done so far- a full 18-member release- and it's going spectacularly well. The album itself was a few weeks out, but each unit had been dropping some songs along the way.

"Babe, the company is throwing a release party when the album drops in a few weeks! Isn't that so exciting? They actually asked us what food we want at the party so we're all going crazy. I think Hyuck asked for a fondue fountain, so I'm dying to see if they'll actually give that," he's chuckling, halfway through his plate, "Do you have any special requests?"

Okay, deep breath. Now's the time. It's all or nothing.

"Actually Mark, I invited you over to talk about something," you begin and the smile on his face drops at your warning tone, "Please don't be upset with me."

"Ah, what's wrong?" he's pouting and you have to look away to get the strength to say what you need to. If you looked in his eyes any longer, you would find some reason to convince you to stay just for him.

"My contract meeting is tomorrow," you gulp, "I'm going to leave the company, Mark."

The sound of his chair scraping against the floor makes you cringe, "What? Y/N, what? What do you mean you're leaving the company? Where are you going to go? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just made up my mind today, Mark. I'm sorry I didn't confide in you, but this was a decision I had to make for myself," tears are welling up along your lash line, "I spoke to Herin today and I realised that the only thing making me stay any longer was you."

"But you're so close to debut!" he's arguing pleadingly, crouching beside you and holding your hand, "Babe, I can't imagine this company without you."

"I'm not Mark. You know that I'm not any closer to debut than I was when I joined 5 years ago. You're indispensable to this company, but I'm really not," you expressed, "I don't want to leave and I love you, your boys, and my girls, but I think this is what's best for me."

"But where are you going to go?" Mark sniffles, "I love you so much Y/N, but what's going to happen to us?"

You shake your head at his insinuations, "No, Mark. Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen to us and I'll make sure that whatever company I join will know about us and protect us. I hope you'll find it in you to forgive me for this."

He stands up and wraps his arms around you from above, "I'm sorry for reacting this way Y/N, but there's nothing for you to be sorry for. I trust you, okay? I love you and I want you to do what's best for you. I know I can't make decisions for you, but I'll try my best to support you however I can."

You look up at him with adoration dripping from your eyes, "I love you, Mark. We're going to be okay, yeah?"

He brings his head down and connects your lips in the most love-filled way that your heart explodes in that familiar overwhelming feeling that Mark always seems to do to you, "We're going to be okay, baby."

-

LATE 2022

The world was playing a sick joke on you- it really was. There was no way your whole career wasn't just some April Fools' prank or that you weren't just the main target of some joke show.

You always prided yourself on being close with the company's staff and higher-ups. As a leader of your group, you felt that it was integral to your success that you were able to communicate your wishes and worries to the company and this gave you more creative freedom too. Apparently, the company too was getting more comfortable with you.

"What did you just say?" your eyes were incredulous, peering towards your sheepish CEO, "That's actually the worst idea I've ever heard in my life."

"Look, Y/N, you wanted a feature on your song," your CEO chuckles at your response, "I think this is an amazing idea."

"You're literally giving Dispatch a green light to release those photos. Do you want me to email you a picture of me and Mark making out so you can just tweet it from the official account?" you counter, "Why in the hell would having my ex-boyfriend feature on my solo debut title track be anything short of a terrible idea?"

"Mark is incredibly famous and incredibly talented," she begins, counting with her fingers, "You have high standards. We have a good relationship with SM Entertainment. Your fans love shipping the two of you together since you're in the same age group."

"He's also my ex-boyfriend. Is that not extremely problematic? Everyone will hyper analyse every interaction we have or have had and then they're actually going to figure out that we dated." you ponder, "The worst part of this all is that I know he would say yes if his company lets him."

"Exactly- he's your ex-boyfriend, not your current one. By all logic, he's now just another fellow idol or colleague that you can collaborate with. Anyway, SM will definitely say yes; look how many of their idols are in relationships or at least feature on tracks."

"This is all Crush and Joy's fault," you groan, looking at the pleased expression on your CEO's face knowing that she had won the argument.

When your company proposed the idea of having a solo debut to you half a year ago, you had vehemently declined the opportunity, citing it wouldn't be beneficial to your group as a whole and that you wanted to be known for your group and not your individuality. Your members, on the other hand, had different ideas and talked you into at least hearing out the company. You had really only agreed to the debut when they told you that they would give you full musical freedom and the help that you personally requested. It only seemed like a good idea when you realised that someone in the group needs to be the one to start doing solo activities so the rest of the group can follow suit. You've always known that Jian has been curious about acting.

So you find yourself swiveling in your chair in the studio, waiting for Mark to find his way to the room. It's your first time working together for your solo debut and the last time you had spoken to him was a text he sent you asking if you actually wanted him to feature on the track before he gave a response to his company. You begrudgingly replied a yes because even though you still didn't think it was a good idea, you couldn't imagine yourself working with anyone other than Mark. The industry was crazy sometimes.

The knocking on the door snapped you out of your thoughts and you jumped up to open it to Mark Lee holding two cups on the other side.

"Hey pretty. I got us some coffee," he pushes a cup into your hand and you move aside to let him in, "How are you?"

"Don't call me pretty," you mumble as you turn away to hide the blush starting to appear on your cheeks, "But I'm okay. It's getting busier with the holidays coming up, so you know how that is, but the company thought this time was a great time to work on my debut."

"I feel you," Mark grimaces, taking a seat on the other spinning chair, "Don't tell anyone but Dream is actually having another comeback. It's going to be out just before Christmas."

"Another one?" your eyes widen in shock, "But you just released 2 Baddies and I know you definitely have a repackage soon!"

"Yeah, it's hard to be part of both units," he sighs, "Cause our new album will be over 6 months out from Beatbox, but only 3 months from 2 Baddies. Whatever, you know I love what I do."

"Doesn't mean you don't get tired," you cross your arms, "Now I feel bad having you on this track. You are way too busy, Mark! Why didn't you or your company say no?"

He shakes his head to reassure you, "Nah, trust me Y/N; you're exactly the break I need from the boys. Besides, I've never had the chance to formally work with you, so why would I give up the opportunity when it comes? We always made a great team back then."

You smile fondly, thinking about all those times when you and Mark were young teenagers and would huddle up in the practice rooms writing songs together and creating melodies on your guitars.

"I guess we did. Anyway, have a listen to this track. It's just something I wrote a while ago, but it always seemed unfinished so I thought that a feature would complete it," you hand him a pair of headphones and gesture over to your laptop with the track already loaded up, "If you like it, you can do your part in the second verse, but otherwise we can start from scratch."

You watch his face as he listens to the song and you're endeared to find out he still carries the same habit of letting his face do all the talking whenever he's listening to something new. His head is bobbing up and down as he nods along to the song and you can easily tell which parts he likes.

"So, what do you think?" you inquire.

He has a grin on his face, "I love it! Honestly! It's a cute song about a crush, I guess?"

"Yeah, I didn't want to go with any song that's lyrically strong for my debut. This song's pretty unassuming and you know how important it is to the companies to have a general public-friendly song," you shrug. They didn't really explicitly give you guidelines, but you knew what the company was really looking for- a hit, "Can you work with that beat? I'll send you the song of course and you don't have to rush or anything."

"I'll see what I can do," Mark teases, "Can I get an insider sneak peek at the rest of the album? You know, feature perks and all of that."

You flush even redder than when he complimented you earlier, "I'm going to be so honest Mark, the whole album is about you. Every song I've written is about you."

He shrugs casually, "I would've figured. You're a big inspiration to my writing too. Is that a no, then?"

You decide that there was no point shying away from Mark's request, considering that he would end up hearing each and every song whenever your album came out anyway. Plus, the two of you were artists and you understood being each others' muse- good or bad. Mark had seen you in every vulnerable state possible. Showing him your songs that you were comfortable enough to release to the public anyway was nothing to you.

"You can listen."

You don't bother giving Mark any explanations for any song- he's the one that lived through these experiences with you. You leave him with your tracklist on the laptop and tell him you would leave him for a few moments to grab some lunch for the two of you in the company cafeteria. You were hoping it was going to be a quick trip down and back up, but you had run into a producer you were also working with on the album, and that gave Mark at least 5 songs worth of time alone.

What you hadn't expected upon returning was to find Mark crying softly, his sweater paws rubbing at his eyes.

"Mark? Are you crying?"

Your surprise caused him to jump up and frantically wipe away his tears, "Ha. That's a really sad album, huh?"

The guilt continues to eat you up from the inside out, "I'm not going to release all of them, I think. A few sad songs and fill the rest in with inconspicuous tracks."

"Well your songs are beautiful anyway," he gives you a pained smile, "You're an amazing writer. I just wish I wasn't the cause of your pain."

"Hey," you scold softly, bumping his arm with yours, "Don't say that. You were nothing but amazing to me. You made me so happy. It was just the circumstances around us."

He chuckled bitterly to himself, "If we weren't famous- if this industry wasn't so vicious, I would still have you?"

"Mark," you warn, but he cuts you off.

"Have you thought about what I asked you?" he interrupts, "It's been a year, you know? I still miss you."

"Mark, it's not that easy," you counter, "Nothing's changed!"

"It's either you want to be with me or you don't. Don't skirt around it and just tell me the truth, okay? It would really make working together easier if I know where we stand. I won't stop fighting for us until you tell me to stop, so tell me what you want, Y/N," Mark pleads, standing up to face you, "I'm sorry for springing it out of nowhere, but I need to know. I can't move on until I know to let you go."

You hate yourself for what you did to Mark. He was the boy that taught you how to love and how to love patiently, sincerely, and passionately. He was the boy that held your hand and rubbed your back when you cried and the boy that celebrated every success with you. He was the boy that told you how proud he was of you, even every time you felt like the world was collapsing around you. He was the boy who would lay kisses on your forehead and whisper sweet nothings in your ear whenever you faced another setback. He was the boy that made flowers bloom out of your heart from his kind gestures and the way he showed you how much he loved you. And if nothing else, Mark was the boy that made you happy.

You remember a conversation with your youngest member the night before. You had confided in her how nervous you were to work with Mark and she lectured you on finally letting yourself be happy. You were already a 4-year idol and Mark was coming onto 7 years. You weren't rookies anymore and you had solid fanbases. It was clear that the companies weren't extremely opposed to revealing that the two of you were dating back then, so she told you that it would be fine now. Kali told you, rather cliché-ly, that the heart wants what it wants and your heart has been screaming and begging from Mark since the second you ended that phone call with him all those years ago.

"Y/N?"

"Mark," you meet his eyes and melt all over again, "It's you, Mark."

Mark wraps one arm around your waist and pulls you tighter. The other hand reaches up to your face to brush your hair out of your face and cradle your cheek as he brings it up to his own face. Your noses are almost touching as Mark lays it all bare for you, "Do you love me or do you not, Y/N?"

"I do," the feeling is cathartic when you finally tell him and when he finally presses his lips in a searing kiss that sets off all the fireworks in your heart. The feeling of Mark is familiar, but the kiss is longing and hopeful and you can't get enough.

You're both panting when he breaks the kiss and he rests his forehead against yours as he laughs softly in relief. He's been waiting to do that for over 2 years.

"I need you back, Y/N. It's been the worst 2 years of my life," he whispers against your lips, "Please come back."

You smile when he opens his eyes. They're that shade you grew to love all those years ago and they're sparkling like the day he first asked you to be his girlfriend.

Nothing's changed in your environment, that's for sure. What you're also sure about is that each time you see Mark again, you feel a little braver and more courageous. Each time Mark tells you that he loves you even though you shattered his heart like glass, you feel like his love can get you through anything. Maybe you needed those 2 years to see what you were missing or maybe you were just stupid.

Whatever. All you know now is that even 2 years on, Mark Lee is still begging for your love and your brain is losing out in its battle against your heart. It might've taken you two years, but now you see that all you need is Mark Lee by your side to get through the torrential storm that was heading your way and that you were going to get out on the other side to a bright and sunny sky, as long as he was holding your hand and leading you.

You place a kiss on his lips that tells him all he needs to know, "I'm here, Mark. It's always been you. You've always been the one. Always."

#mark lee #nct blurbs #nct scenario #mark lee x reader #nct fic #mark lee imagine #nct imagine #nct blurb #mark lee scenario #nct fluff #mark x reader #mark #nct mark #mark fic #fic recs #mark lee au #mark lee fic #nct angst #mark lee fluff #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #exes to lovers #idol!verse #idol reader #idol au

[yeoosaangg]

Love Me Like You Do || Kinktober - Day 16

pairing ▸ mark lee × f!reader

now playing ▸ love me like you do - ellie goulding

⤷ ❝i'll let you set the pace 'cause i'm not thinking straight.❞

genre ▸ college au, secret relationship, smut

warnings ▸ anal, praise, marking, fingering, choking, rough sex

--------

Mark Lee.

Everyone knows him as the quiet guy who always has his head stuck in a book, which is why not many people approach him.

They believe he's on the shy side, always awkwardly bowing when someone happens to bump into him.

But they're not blind. His glasses and studious tendencies doesn't take away the fact that he's insanely hot. He has plenty of admirers, but none of them matter.

You do.

No one on campus knows that you two are dating.

No one knows the Mark that comes home to you every night, the different person he becomes.

He's outgoing and confident, wears casual clothes, and rides a motorcycle.

He treats you like the most delicate flower in the world. He worships your existence, treating you like a literal goddess.

And in bed?

He's there for your pleasure, not his. He radiates such dominant charisma, but let's you take the reigns if it makes you happy.

He does whatever you ask him to, no questions asked.

And you love him just as much as he loves you.

And right now, he stands in front of you in nothing but a towel that sits just below his waist line. He smirks down at you, knowing the effect he has on you.

You both maintain the intense eye contact, neither of you wanting to back down.

He takes that as a sign to slowly walk over to you. His hand wraps around your ankle, pulling you towards him so he can hover above you.

He leans down to kiss you passionately, knee slotting between your legs just enough to keep you down. He undresses you, discarding his towel along with your clothes.

Mark: I love seeing you under me, baby. It drives me fucking crazy.

His lips brush against your ear, breath tickling you as he whispers sweet nothings to you.

Y/n: Can we try something new?

Mark: Of course we can. What'd you have in mind, love?

Your body melts as he trails kisses down your body until he gets to your sweet spot. Your back arches when he sucks lightly against your most sensitive area.

Y/n: Can we try anal?

Mark licks the hickey and nuzzles his nose against it.

Mark: I'll get you prepped then. Turn around for me, yeah?

He stands up, going to the dresser you specifically bought for your toys and he takes out some lubricant.

You settle down on all fours, ass up so he can easily work you open. He squeezes the cold liquid all over his fingers and your ass, carefully rimming your hole.

You moan once his finger slides in, pumping slowly so you can get used to the foreign feeling. His other hand trails along your body to distract you.

Mark: You're doing great, love.

You bite down on the bed sheet as he adds another finger. He pauses his movements until you give him the go-ahead to move.

The sheet is long forgotten as your moans echo off the walls, his hand making you feel like you're on fire. The new feeling of being stretched in a different way feels like it's your first time.

Y/n: Please. Please give me more.

He kisses your ass cheek, adding a third finger. He watches you fall against the mattress, eyes glazing over in pure bliss.

His knuckles disappear inside your tight hole. He gets an idea and turns his hand so that his pinky gives your cunt its much needed attention.

The knot in your stomach gets tighter until you can't hold it anymore and cum all over the place.

He pumps his cock a few times before lining up against your entrance.

Mark: I'll go slow, baby. Use the safe word if it's too much.

You nod, not trusting your voice at the moment. He pushes inside, moaning at the tighter feeling. You have never felt such an intense stretch before, but fuck.

Y/n: So big. Won't fit.

Mark: Don't worry, baby. We'll make it fit, okay?

You purr, arching your back more for your boyfriend's fingers to dig into the dips of your back.

He bottoms out, holding you in place to avoid hurting you. He pushes you further into the mattress, running his hands along your body for comfort.

Y/n: M-Move.

Mark: You sure?

Y/n: Yes. Fuck, p-please move.

He slowly draws his hips back, slamming back into you. You scream, clutching at the sheets with all the force you could muster.

He pounds into your tight ass, one hand cupping around your tit. He pulls at your nipple harshly, loving the sound of your broken moans.

He does not stop until you cum again.

Mark: So good for me, princess.

His thrusts slow down, but only so he can flip you around and fuck you in missionary position. He kisses you deeply as he slams his hips against your ass.

His balls bounce off your skin, adding to his pleasure.

He sits up, using one hand to choke you while the other gets shoved into your aching cunt.

His fingers work their magic, stimulating you a lot more than you had expected this night to go.

Your legs start to shake when another hard orgasm washes over you. Mark pulls his fingers and cock out, only for him to slam his cock into your gummy walls.

Y/n: Oh, fuck!

Mark: Wanna cum in you.

You spread your legs wider, giving him more room to dick you down. He eventually cums deep inside you, breathing heavily from how good he feels.

Mark: God, I love you.

Y/n: I love you, Markie.

---

a/n: got this idea off the clock app... i need serious help. thanks for reading ‹𝟹

#kinktober #kpop kinktober #nct 127 smut #nct dream smut #nct u smut #nct 127 mark #nct dream mark #nct mark #nct mark lee #mark lee #mark lee smut #mark lee x reader #mark smut #mark #mark lee x y/n #mark lee x you #mark lee imagines #mark lee oneshot #mark lee au #mark lee fanfic #mark lee hard thoughts #mark lee hard hours #mark lee nct #mark nct #lee mark #nctzen #nct dream #nct u #nct #nct 127

[neocitybooty]

Wants vs Needs [M]

Genre: ABO, Omegaverse, Smut, AU

Warnings: A lot of smut, unprotected sex, fingering, rough sex, Mark has some Dom qualities, 

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing: Mark Lee x OC

A/N: Just was dealing with some Mark brainrot. Yeah. That’s about it mdfjkhlkashfd. I REALLY DO HATE THIS FOR ME. But please enjoy! Feel free to follow, like , reblog and chat with meee <3

“Lina? Is that short for something?” Mark asked in the stool next to the reserved woman. The entire bar was now filled with majority Alphas. Most of the omegas had already been swooped away by the determined alphas who showed up with one goal in mind.

“Yes. My actual name is Corolina. But it’s a lot of syllables.” Lina responded, shifting in her seat. Careful to not stare too hard at the man with the interesting hair. The very few cases in which an ashy green hair color made sense. His perfectly sculpted face could allow for anything.

“I see…So Lina.” Mark took another sip of his drink. “Where are you from? I know you’re not from here.”

“My roots are in the South. My pack moved out west two generations ago but we are typically homeschooled. So, yes. I am from here.” Lina was growing more and more aggravated. She suddenly remembered why she stayed home. Socializing after being homeschooled is really hard in a society where everything is so fucking communal. She was homeschooled and then immediately started working for the family business. Of course nobody knew who she was.

“I stand corrected.” Mark shrugged his shoulders but kept his attention on Lina. He was completely mesmerized. He smelled her as soon as she walked in and instantly knew.

“Oh and by the way” Mark added and leaned into her ear. “I can smell you. And by that I mean, I can smell your slick. When exactly were you going to tell me that you’re in heat? If I decided to walk away, you’d be free game.” He moved away from her ear and they both looked around at the numerous pairs of glowing red eyes on them.

Lina gulped and rubbed her temple. “You um… you don’t understand my situation.”  She said in a low voice.

“Help me understand then. In return I’ll tell you what I’m saving you from.” Mark licked his lips and looked at Lina with admiring eyes. But on his face, it read as flirtatious rather than shy.

“You see Jaehyun over there? He fucks like he’s in love but he won’t mate you. Then we have Taeyong, a lot of omegas like him because he gives them the chance to experience an alpha being submissive in bed but beware- he’s dangerously territorial.” Mark stopped and let his eyes skim across the bar again. “Oh and we have the ever so lovely Jaemin. He has a thing for omega tears. So you can only imagine what he’s like in bed.”

“Okay okay.” Lina said. “You win. Truth is. I’ve never been with an alpha.” She said, so embarrassed that she couldn’t look Mark in the eyes.

Mark set down his drink. He pursed his lips as his eyebrows creased and met in the middle. “How have you been spending your heats for all these years?”  

“Um well…” Lina started.

Mark’s eyes widened and he made a face to convey his disapproval. “Don’t tell me….don���t even say it. Humans?! You are a little crazy, you know…”

Lina covered her mouth with her free hand and said nothing. This was the reaction she expected. Although the humans and werewolves made a pact and lived in harmony for centuries, it was still considered taboo to be intimate with humans. Too many things to consider. The human females were very weak in comparison to alphas and also couldn’t handle carrying 4 or more pups during one pregnancy, let alone giving birth to them. The human males were very likely to become addicted to slick and would have to enroll into rehab and were also not quite as strong as even omegas. Same sex couples were not as severely scrutinized but they were still very rare.

Mark scoffed and continued on. “If I decide to….you know.” He paused. “You can’t let another human fuck you again or else it won’t end well for either of you. Understood?”

Lina quickly nodded her head gulped. Her mind was partially hazed by the overwhelming smell of matured alphas.

Mark stood up and thanked the bartender. “Take my hand and don’t make eye contact with anyone here.” He reached out to Lina and she grabbed his hand and they started making their way out of the bar while she kept her head down.

“No fair. I’m the one that called dibs.” An alpha said from their right. Mark ignored him and pushed his way out the door, Lina’s fingers still intertwined with his own.

Once they hit the cool air, a gust of wind blew right by the pair, bringing Mark’s scent right into Lina’s nose. She gasped as an absurd amount of slick exited from her entrance.

“Mark, I wet my pants!” She said mortified. “My pants are actually soaked.” Lina grabbed onto Mark’s arm as a plea for help.

“Oh right.” Mark said slowly. “You usually spend your heat with humans…So you don’t know how your body is supposed to react to real attraction.” He shook his head and removed her hands from his arm. Before Lina could complain, he simply scooped her into his arms. “My place or yours?” He said once her feet were off the ground.

“I’m only a block away.” Lina said into his chest. She then pointed to the left towards a building with lavender along the side.

Mark nodded and started walking. Lina could feel her sanity slipping from her as she inhaled his scent. “Mark…please. Please hurry.” She felt herself practically sink into his chest. Mark ignored her and chuckled to himself.

Within a few minutes, they were inside Lina’s building and Mark just followed her scent from that point on. “This is definitely your door.” Mark gently set her down in front of him but she didn’t move to open the door.

“Omega…” Mark said with a soft smile. He caressed Lina’s nose with his pointer finger while gazing at her features. “Open the door and let me do what your body wants me to do. You’re going to mess up the floor with your slick, if we stay out here any longer.”

Lina turned around and pressed her pointer finger onto the pad above the door handle. The door opened and Mark was on her before the door was fully shut. He backed her into the wall as he passionately kissed Lina. She felt a warm, strong hand underneath her shirt and started to frantically unbutton Mark’s jeans. He put his free hand over hers to stop her.

“I don’t remember telling you to undress me.” Mark clucked his tongue and took both of Lina’s wrists in one hand and put them above her head, trapping her between him and the wall.

“S-Sorry.” Lina breathed, her knees on the verge of giving out. “I just need it so bad.” She threw her head back as Mark let his thumb softly circle an overly sensitive bud.

“What do you need so badly? Hmmm?” Mark let his entire hand enclose the mound of flesh and squeezed gently. “Bet you didn’t even know that your body could produce this much slick.” Keeping eye contact with Lina, he then slid his hand down into her underwear.

“Fuck. Feels like I just put my hand in a lake.”

“Alpha, please.”

“Stop begging, Omega.” Mark joked but kissed Lina deeply. She moaned into the kiss as Mark quickly assumed dominance, pushing his tongue past Lina’s lips. The kissing paired with Mark’s fingers inside of her was enough to drive her mad. She started moving her hips resulting in Mark’s fingers sliding around while inside of her. She was desperate and was practically pleading for Mark to give her what she needed the most.

“So horny you’re fucking yourself on my fingers. This is so fucking sexy. I might do something crazy.” Mark muttered as he held still to let Lina continue to move her hips, in a trance and searching for a release. Mark groaned as he focused on the muscles contracted around his fingers as slick started to run down onto his hand. “Oh fuck.” He muttered and crashed his lips onto Lina’s once more.

This time he grew impatient and pulled out his fingers. “No wait-” Lina started to protest. “Shhhh.” Mark shushed her and without another word, he picked up the Omega and then he was on the move, looking for the bedroom. Once he picked up her scent coming from inside of a nearby door, he went in and laid Lina on the colossal bed. Wasting no time, he tore her jeans from her body. She let him undress her as she watched his muscles flex underneath his t-shirt.

“Such a pretty omega. Are you ready to let me take care of you?” He caressed Lina’s thighs and settled himself between her legs. There was still quite a bit of slick left on his fingers, so he simply sucked it off. He closed his eyes and groaned in satisfaction before throwing a smirk. Lina shuddered and tried to close her legs as more slick spilled out of her. “No, don’t hide yourself from me.” Mark spread her legs open and kissed her inner thigh. “Just stay like that.” He then got up and started undressing.

Lina waited patiently and before she knew it, Mark was back in between her legs. She caught a glimpse of his length, already leaking with precum. Mark smiled once he caught her looking. “Can’t wait ‘til you put it in your mouth..but maybe later.” He lined up his cock with her entrance, catching some slick along the way. “Right now all I can think about is stretching you out.” He said as he started to slowly push himself in.

Lina gasped and wrapped her arms around Mark’s neck, as his warm and hard length invaded her wall. He rested his head in the crook of her neck as he inhaled her scent, his cock only growing harder. “ Shit. Can’t wait to fill you up with cum.” A moan escaped Lina as Mark plunged deeper, slick coating his cock as he pulled out and pushed back in. “Feels so good. So wet for me.”

“Fuck me harder.” Lina moaned. “Please, Alpha. Pleaseee.” She threw her head back as Mark started thrusting with more force. Motivated by her scent, he brought his head back up and kissed Lina on the lips. She opened her eyes and caught a glimpse of Mark’s half lidded stare, glowing red peeking from his eyes as a low growl grumbled in his chest. Small red snips decorated his collarbone from where Lina had accidentally nipped him during their initial exchange. Too focused on satisfying her want for the Alpha, she forgot to practice caution with her sharp nails.

To Lina’s surprise, she moaned as more slick gushed out of her. Her entire being yearning for Mark. This was what she had been missing. The connection between an omega and alpha was indescribable. His scent had her reeling as she found herself rolling her hips to meet Mark’s thrust. “You like how it feels to be fucked by an Alpha?” He breathed. “How about you give me a show..”

Lina nodded but whined when Mark pulled out, not too pleased with the feeling of being empty. Mark laid next to Lina and she got on top of him, full torso on display as Mark reached up and started to massage a breast. “Give me everything you’ve got, baby. Don’t hold back. Milk my cock.”

Lina started to move off of Mark and wrapped both hands around his throbbing member when Mark stopped her.

“No. Not by using your mouth…or hands.” He said with a hand on her shoulder. “Sit on it.” He continued with a nod and wide eyes, making sure she understood.

“Oh.” Lina said.

“Oh.” Mark echoed with a smile.

Lina squatted above Mark and grabbed his throbbing member as his chest rose and fell, his need for heat and wetness only growing stronger. She slowly rubbed around her entrance and then finally lined it up with her heat. He groaned as she sank onto him. “Oh my..” Lina moaned as Mark’s cock twitched, a result of the slick running down his shaft.

“Why does it feel so big?” She asked, taking a break to try to regain her composure.

Mark laughed from underneath. “It feels good doesn’t it?” He beamed. “I usually don’t do this but….Let’s just say you’re special.”

“Lucky me.” Lina started to bounce on Mark and he let his eyes roll back as his breath hitched.

“Fuck. Don’t stop.” He said, sweat forming on his chest.

Lina cried out as she found her rhythm, Mark’s hand still on her breast as his mouth formed an “O” and his eyebrows furrowed as he tried his best to not cum.

“I feel so full, baby.” Lina panted quietly, her clit signaling more slick to make its exit.

“Oh my god.” Mark said as soon as he felt it. He quickly sat up and switched their positions so that he was on top. “Alright, that’s enough.” He put one of her legs on his shoulder and thrust into her- HARD.

Lina’s leg shook and she screamed in pleasure. The sensation rolled through her body as she gripped the sheets.

“You take it so well. Gonna make you addicted to this cock.” He said into her ear. “Ever wondered what it feels like to have an Alpha fill you up?”

Lina nodded quickly, grabbing his face. “Show me, Alpha.” She pleaded. “Cum inside me, please.”

Mark bit his lip and then smiled down at the omega. He then slid his hand in between the two of them and started to circle Lina’s clit. She moaned out in pleasure and Mark picked up the pace. Relentlessly pounding into Lina, Mark embraced her, stretching her leg even further back.

“I really want to feel you cum around my dick, Lina.” He said in a husky voice. This was enough to throw Lina off the edge. She felt it in the pit of her stomach and arched her back as she let the orgasm take its course.

“Oh, you’re so pretty.” Mark cooed in her ear. “I love having your pussy squeezing my cock. Keep going, baby. You did so well.” He talked to her as her face scrunched up in pure ecstasy, making sure she thought only of him as she experienced her release. He didn’t stop thrusting, still searching for his own climax.

“I’m so close.” His thrusts went deeper and a vein started protruding on his forehead.

“Mark.” Lina said, a little worried.

“Don’t distract me, please.” He said with a grunt. Then his body went rigid and he growled, lowering his head as he sprayed her walls with his cum. His body was slightly shaking and Lina cried out as she felt the warm liquid fill her up slowly. It was so much that it spilled out of her but Mark didn’t pull out, completely drained and dazed.

“Wow.” Lina said as she laid with Mark still inside of her. Mark propped himself on his two hands and looked down at Lina. Some strands of hair were matted onto his forehead and he had a cheeky smirk on his face. Lina couldn’t help but giggle. The smirk, paired with his prominent cheekbones made him look as if he’s just been caught doing something mischievous.

“You know.” Mark started. “It’s only day one.”

“Yes, it is.” Lina agreed with Mark, but wasn’t following.

“Come with me.” Mark said, searching Lina’s face for a response. “ You should be spending your heats with an Alpha. Preferably me.” He then pulled out and Lina moaned softly at the sudden feeling of emptiness.

“One condition.” Lina said, shooting up her pointer finger and stopped in front of Mark’s face.

Mark chuckled but decided to hear her out. “Name your price.”

“You have to knot me next time.”

“Okayyyy, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.” Mark said with a small laugh. He then whispered into her ear. “You could barely handle me cumming in you and this measly fifteen minutes of sex.”

“I thought I did well!” Lina exclaimed.

“You did….but it was only one round. The standard is usually about three to four rounds….And you’re in heat.” Mark said quietly.

Lina looked at Mark in shock. “What?! I’m exhausted.”

“My point exactly.” Mark said with a laugh.

#mark lee smut #mark lee fanfic #mark lee imagines #mark lee scenarios #mark lee au #abo #omegaverse #abo smut #smut #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #nct dream fanfic #nct au #nct fanfiction #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct masterlist

[honeym4rk]

skinship - kisses

in a relationship where your boyfriend finds physical affection rather awkward, you’d best believe it would’ve taken some time for him to warm up to the idea of skinship- skin to skin, a hand on his, cheeks crashing together as close as possible. but the patience comes at a good cost- mark has several ways to close the distance between you.

previous (lightswitch)

summary: it shouldn't be this hard to go about kissing mark.

-

something you never expected at the start of your relationship was mark’s initial hesitance to kiss you.

of course, naturally, it takes some time for two people to cross their own boundaries of comfort, to enter, invade, and conquer another’s territory of personal space. some people forego this careful caution in a budding relationship, and dive right into one another. neither you or mark are some people. 

and it’s not that you think mark is particularly bold: you know he isn’t very upfront and confident in expressing his feelings for you. you’ve known this from the very start, when his friends had to literally push him to ask you out, and the very awkward first conversation you had. you know he can get a bit shy, but part of you always thought, that every now and then, he’d have bursts of the courage that he has when he’s on stage. mark can definitely be suave, and cool, and charming, but mostly when he’s in his element and knows exactly what he’s doing.

right now, in this moment, he has no idea what he’s doing.

the credits of the Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle are starting to roll, and you’re stuck frozen in the burrow you’ve made in the fold of the sofa, head resting on his shoulder as his arm is wrapped loosely around your side. it’s been holding you like this since the halfway point of the movie- you didn’t notice, but he let out a sigh of relief and satisfaction when he succeeded in placing it there. he stretched, arms going as high as they possibly could, before his limb wandered and found its way pulling you closer to him. cliche, he knows, but a win for him nonetheless. he had to hold back his grin when you leaned into his body.

at first, you could feel his fingers ghosting the frayed threads of your jean shorts, like his wrist was stiff and his hand was afraid to open up so his palm would make full contact with the skin of your thigh. but as the movie progressed, and he constantly broke into his cute, little, hearty giggle that somehow sent his entire body into motion, his hand started to ease, fingers drumming on your supple skin, drawing circles on it, accidentally hitting it when he laughs a bit too hard.

he gulps, and breathes, “wow, that movie was not as bad as i thought it was.”

“yeah, it was pretty good.” neither of you make an effort to move out of the position. a slight shift could mean this rare moment of comforting proximity that you waited so long for would vanish in an instant, like a bubble popping after floating around in glee. so you force your head to continue facing the screen, eyes boring into the tiny, white words that are scrolling away. 

before you know it, even the credits have finally come to a close, and your eyes are fixated on the next netflix recommendation, Jumanji: The Next Level that’s about to play in 5, 4, 3, 2, 

your head snaps up to turn, still balanced on the ball of his shoulder. when you face him, you’re staring right at him. he does that stupidly attractive thing where he turns his head towards you before his eyes land on yours, and your eyes are now locked on his. you bite your lip to ease just a little bit of your restlessness, and this movement causes his eyes to dart to your lips for just a split second. 

he gulps again.

screw it, you’re gonna have to say something.

“are you gonna kiss me?” oh my god. not that. stupid, stupid, self-sabotage.

his hand flies away from your leg, retreating back to him so he can make huge, sporadic gestures that speak for his panic and awkwardness.

“uhhh, i-” his hand is rubbing at his nose, and though it’s dark and his head is turned away from you once again, the light from the television lets you see the pink tint that begins to dust his cheeks. “i mean, if you, if you, um, want me to,”

you don’t know why you find this so cute- you literally felt just as awkward as he does a second ago, but seeing him freak out somehow fortifies you to prod at him a little more. besides, you realise that if you don’t make a move now, after at least a month and a half of going out with him, mark’s probably never going to. 

your face scrunches up into a chuckle and you don’t take your eyes off him- “well, do you want to?”

“i mean, i-i totally do want to,” his hand is on his chest, and it comes down as he points at you with his thumb, “i’m just really scared that you- don’t? i don’t know,” mark leans forward from the couch to run his fingers through his hair, and you tug at his shirt sleeve multiple times to pull him back.

“i do, mark, i really do.”

“um, okay! great. cool,” he squeaks out, and his movements to almost close the gap between your faces are so mechanic, and panic settles onto his mind and his features, “oh, but i, uh, sorry if i’m a bad kisser or anything, i don’t really get much uh, practice in this, haha.”

you have to turn your face away to hold back a giggle at this cute, shy mess of a boy, before you finally compose yourself, and let one hand gently cup the side of his jaw, and reassuring, “it’s fine. sorry if i’m no good either.”

you smile, and plant the briefest kiss on the corner of his mouth. then you let go. 

“now, how was that?” 

“t-that wasn’t even a kiss!” 

“really?” you laugh, bringing your legs up onto the couch to kneel and face him completely. this time, you hold both of his cheeks in both of your hands before closing your eyes and pressing your lips on his, for a while longer now, and you’re just about to pull away when you feel fingertips ghosting up your jaw, and feel him tilt his head so that his mouth fits perfectly in the crevices of yours. 

“what about now?”

“better.”

he shifts his body to fully face you too, and your mouths meld together just a few more times, and the feeling of his fingers gripping at you, lips chasing after yours, drowns out the background noise of kevin hart bickering with dwayne johnson. you’re melted into this moment, and you don’t want it to end.

-

another thing you never really expected from mark was- well, his fear of sudden pecks, those that catch him off-guard, those that come when he least expects them to. they don’t give him any time to react, or prepare, or take a breath so he doesn’t combust when your lips touch his skin.

you’ve made out a few times with him so far in the couple of times you’ve seen him since that very night, and so you thought that he’d appreciate the quick, little kisses, but you probably shouldn’t have assumed.

he’s getting ready to leave your apartment after another movie night, and just before he walks out the door, he hugs you goodbye, and before he can pull back, you sneak a kiss on the tiny corner of his mouth that’s turned up into a smile. or at least, you try to.

he flings himself out of your grasp, head jerking back so fast and hard that you almost tumble into him from the momentum, and both of you stare in complete shock at one another.

“oh, ummm, sorrysorrysorry, haha, awwwkwaaaard!” your hands fly to the air in surrender as if you’ve been caught red-handed, and your feet take slow, tiny steps away from him.

“that’s my bad, oh my god i’m sorry,” your words are drowned out by his, and every cell in you is cringing from embarrassment and from worry and fear that you’ve done something wrong, something you shouldn't have done, did you go too far? are you stupid for thinking that would be okay?

“sorry, i, uh, i think it’s like, muscle memory to move away because haechan and the guys, well, mostly haechan, always tries to do that kinda thing. i-it’s not you! i swear! you’re great! haechan, not so, you know what i mean? like i wanna kiss you too but in that moment my body prepared for fight or flight, you know? oh my god i’m so sorry.” he’s doing that thing with his gestures again, frantically waving his hands to ensure you visually comprehend that it’s not your fault.

this revelation comes like a knife slicing through the tension that once was, and you hide your face behind your hands in relief, giggling at the stark weirdness of it all, but you also can’t shake off the tinge of sadness from the rejection. it wasn’t directed towards you, you know, but you just can’t help but feel a little taken aback by what happened. 

he grabs your wrists, pulling you towards him, and encouraging you to try again.

“okay, go on. i’m ready now. sorry. just not used to this.” his cheeks are a deep shade of red, and his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

you’re smiling throughout the entire, brief, kiss goodbye.

nearly six months have passed, and you try to give him a peck every now and then, just to see if he still retracts in fear, and you can see him tense up every time you try. 

so you stop. 

the last time you’d tried was right before he left for tour, and in your endless contemplation of your relationship (you had way too much time on your hands not to fall down the rabbit hole of thinking), you come to the conclusion that maybe it’s just something you don’t have to do to mark. with mark, for mark. besides, there are other ways to express your love for him anyways- he doesn’t cringe when you run your fingers through his hair, or when you wrap your arms around him in a bear hug from behind. probably because he doesn’t mind when his friends do it too. and it’s not like you can’t kiss him entirely, you just have to make sure he’s fully aware of the sparks that are about to fly when your lips touch, instead of the little zaps of static that come when he least expects them to, the ones that he shies away from.

-

it’s been a week since he’s returned. a week since your suffering has finally come to an end, a week since the longing that filled your entire being to the brim finally drained out when your body collided into his when you embraced after what felt like an eternity. it took everything in you not to jump at him when you saw him at your door, so instead of fighting against your growing excitement, you run straight into his arms, hopping as his hands link together to prop you up. 

it’s hard not to tear up- the sight of mark in the flesh is overwhelming and sensational and you’re burying your face into his neck, hands playing with the hair at his nape. what used to be short, clipped ends that pricked at your fingers have now grown into something like a mullet- you remember when you saw photos of him online the other day and started crying because it was a reminder of just how much time was passing without him around. you’re crying, now, too, and mark starts to giggle you can hear just how tired he is from the grogginess of his voice- “aw, babe, are you crying?” 

“no.” he tries to nudge at you so you can pull your head back, but you stick to him like a koala wrapped around a tree until he lets go of your legs and tries to tickle you.

“awwwww, nooo! you’re making me want to cry too!” he whines, and you wipe your tears away on the sleeve of your sweater before finally looking up at his face through your glossy eyes. his face has changed, too. his eyebags are puffy, his cheeks are sunken in the slightest bit, and his jawline is more prominent than you remember it to be. his face feels just a little smaller in your hands when you hold him, and you’re staring, wondering if it’s been so long that you’ve simply forgotten the tactile sense of touching him, feeling him.

before this can spur any more tears from escaping, you’re sent into overdrive, since he crashes his lips into yours. the initial shock flickers out and you take in the jolts of electricity coming at you, the storm of repressed zeal and yearning unleashing between the two of you. it’s been so long and yet you can still remember how mark kisses- when he turns his head to nip at more of you, his arms link around your shoulders, and then the next time one hand cups your face, his thumb trailing up and down your jaw, and eventually his mouth strays away from yours, and he plants kisses all over your face, trailing down to your neck, and then… he doesn’t have to tell you he missed you for you to know.

you’ve seen him almost everyday since he’s come back- he likes to come over just to catch up on sleep in your room as you study. just so you can spend a little more time in your day with one another. there have been more cuddles, more back massages (you even gave him one this time), more sitting in his lap, and he even tries to pick up the skill of braiding your hair. so far, you’ve stuck to your resolution of not stealing pecks out of the blue- so the only thing there isn’t more of is kisses. it’s good, you think- you let him initiate and then you return, so you’re sure you don’t have to take him by surprise.

tonight, you’re in the middle of submitting an assignment, when you hear your phone ping from across the room. then it pings, again and again, in succession, and you’re about to go over and read the messages before it blows up into a full phone-call, the marimba ringtone blaring through the speakers. 

it’s johnny, and in the split second before you answer the phone, you can only assume the worst has happened- you know mark’s with him, they had a company dinner to celebrate the end of their tour- what, did he get into an accident? did he pass out? did he-

“hello? y/n?” there’s a sense of urgency in his voice, and the curiosity is really starting to eat you alive.

“hey, john, what’s up? is everything okay?” you hear a groan in the background, and it turns into a long, howl-like wail that subsides into sob.

“yeah, uh, not really. you heard that? that’s uh, it’s mark. i think he’s had too much to drink, and it’s not like he’s never gotten drunk before, he’s definitely had more before, but i’ve never seen him this, uh-”

“is that y/n?!” you can hear mark hiccup, “y/n! baaaaaaby babe y/n!” he’s still crying, and you’re so worried. mark hasn’t really expressed much sadness ever since he returned, and most of the time he’s very frank with his emotions- so if he was ever sad about anything, you’d think you would’ve heard about it by now.

you can hear someone else shushing him, and johnny continues- “i think he really wants to see you right now, so can we just drop him off at yours? you can just text me your address, i don’t think he’s in a state of mind to give directions right now.” the sobbing is still ongoing, albeit a tiny bit more muted than it was before.

“um, yeah. of course. i’ll send it to you. is.. is he alright? what happened?” 

“well, i’m not very sure, actually. he was fine at the start, and then started to get all giggly like he normally does when he’s had a few glasses, and then he had a tiny bit more, and got all sappy. and now we’re uh, we’re here. he does keep mentioning that he misses you, though. which i don’t get- since i’m pretty sure he spent the entire week with you, so….”

“right….okay. thanks johnny. has he like, thrown up or anything?”

“uhh, nope. don’t think so. hopefully he doesn’t. or hopefully he does. he’ll probably feel better after.” 

“yeah. you can call me when you get here, i’ll buzz you in. see you!” 

you hang up, and are left alone only with the many questions you have, and wow, you’ve never felt more nervous in your entire life. not when you did that interview for a scholarship, or when you had your finals, or when you drove for the first time. this imminent fear is much more terrifying- especially because you were under the presumption that you knew exactly what was happening. in everything else you feared the unknown, the uncertainty of it all, but this, you feel like you were supposed to know- you thought there was nothing between you and mark, thought he was just as transparent as you had been with him.

this week had been complete bliss for you, having him in close proximity again. you’re treasuring every moment with him much more now, holding everything right to your heart, actively storing every scene of him in your hippocampus for later viewing. what could’ve gone wrong? was that not enough? what’s changed? you can only wander around your apartment as your mind runs wild. is he stressed? is this some cathartic release? does he suddenly hate what he’s doing? 

the wait is painfully long- almost making the four months without mark cease to nothing, and you try everything not to think about him. you submit the assignment, you try to beat your record on minesweeper, you watch a couple of youtube videos but lose interest, and text a close friend for emotional support. before the soul-crushing impatience can actually kill you, you hear the ringing on your intercom, and you’ve never pressed the accept button so fast. 

you don’t even wait for them to ring your doorbell. that would just cause more delay. you open the door right away, and peek outside, and the lift doors burst open and mark’s whines reverberates along the tight corridor. johnny’s carrying him piggyback, and the sight of him like this makes you so, incredibly sad- it pulls at your heartstrings and you feel suffocated by the tightening hold that it has on you. if he wasn’t so upset, maybe you would’ve laughed at how cute and snug he looks stuck onto johnny’s back.

mark’s face morphs into a giddy smile when he sees you, letting out a garbled call for you, and you greet johnny as he slips his shoes off to carry him into the living room and plop him onto the couch. you begin to untie his shoe-laces so you can get his shoes off, and you sigh, “thanks so much for your help johnny. do you need anything? need a glass of water… or?” 

“no, i’m good. taeil’s waiting downstairs, anyway.” 

you walk him to the door with mark’s shoes, placing them right at the entrance. “right. well, um, thanks again! hope you guys get back safe. i’ll see you around.” 

“yup, see you. hope he’ll be okay.”

the door is shut, and you can finally focus all your attention on the boy that’s caused you so much concern in the past thirty minutes. you sit right by his head on the couch, and when you try to get rid of the denim jacket he’s wearing, he stirs.

“baaabe?”

“hey, markie. what’s got you all upset?” you kneel on the floor so you can slip the jacket right off of him, and his swollen, tear-filled eyes are following you as you move. when you get close enough, you’re taken aback because he smooches you, missing your lips completely, and the sweet, gentle kiss lands on your chin. 

it’s the first time he’s ever done that- first time he’s ever gone in for a kiss without you looking- and you have to sit and blink to try and figure out if you’re imagining things.

his hand reaches out for you, lips still puckered as he tries again and again to kiss you anywhere on your face, and as intriguing as it is, it’s more concerning since it’s mark. your mark- the one that didn’t really seem to like it when you did this, the one who pretty much repelled away from any of the sudden pecks you gave him. 

you sweep his hair to the side, and before you can even try asking again, his hand falls limp, and he drawls, “you don’t wanna ki-kiss me anymore.” tears are starting to well in his eyes again, and you have to force yourself not to give up on how confusing this entire situation is.

“what? babe, who told you that?” you’re chuckling, but trying not to, because he’s literally about to cry ohmygodwhat. 

“yoooooou,” he whines, “you haven’t kissed me since i, i got back!”

you brush a tiny droplet from his eye with the pad of your thumb, and then go back to stroking his hair. you try not to show your incredulity, but it’s a little hard when you have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. “but i have! we even kissed yesterday, mark! remember?” 

“yeaaah we kissed! but i kissed you.” he’s so funny- even as his eyes are closed and he faces the ceiling, he still has to point at himself and then at you when he says this, and then he pauses and continues, “you haven’t tried to kiss me since i left. like, reeeaaally tried. and i can’t figure out whhhhhy.” 

oh. what? 

“well, markie, right now i don’t really wanna kiss you since you’re kinda stinky,” you try to joke, but his eyes shut even tighter and he’s about to burst into tears again, “noooooo! i’ll go brush my teeth-”

“but didn’t you say you’re not used to it? i didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable. you didn’t seem to like it very much.”

“but i diiiiiid! i missed you so much when i was away,” a hiccup. “and then i felt so sad,” another hiccup. “because i remembered how sad you got the first time,” and another hiccup. “and then when i got back i was soooo excited for you to do it, so i could do it back to you, and you never did.” his mouth turns into a pout, and his nose sniffles.

this is what he was upset about? no way. there is no way he got so sad because you decided not to kiss him out of the blue anymore. it makes your heart swell in confusion- because, what the hell, mark is just, for the lack of a better word, so darn cute. you can’t believe that this, out of everything you could’ve had a miscommunication about, is what he was hiding from you. 

“awwww, i’m sorry babe. i really thought you didn’t want me to.” you coo, and lean in closer to press your lips to his forehead. “look! i’ll give you sooo many right now!” you kiss him all over his face, and the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile, and he starts to giggle, complaining that it tickles. 

“but why didn’t you tell me? i would’ve done it if you’d asked.” you begin to trace your finger all over his features, stopping at his nose to boop at it. 

he heaves out a sigh, and you can tell he is a mere minute away from dozing off to sleep with how slowly he speaks, “i dunno, it just seemed silly to tell you. but this, it’s probably even sillier.” 

you pinch at his nose. “yeah, i’m glad you know, mark.” 

you know you once said that a small peck on the lips didn’t mean much to you, but right now, it’s your favourite way of showing him you care. just the thought of both of you unknowingly reciprocating the exact same yearning for each other is so amusing, and it gives you butterflies to know just how similar you are to one another. it’s more than simple skin on skin- it’s when two lines, so parallel and alike, tend towards one another and meet in an oblique. and though these lines have to part afterwards, they curve, bend, and loop to find their way back. you’ve never believed in infinity- it’s stupid to think that anyone or anything is completely limitless- but in this moment you can only wish for your lines to join and travel endlessly.

when you return with a face towel to wipe his dried tears and snot away, you give him your sweetest, last kiss goodnight.

-

a/n: ahhhhh lol sorry for taking a while for this update (if anyone's been waiting hahahah) i was busy with exams and decided to finally take a break to finish writing this! i've started to realise that every time i start writing i feel so accomplished, and then by the time i get to the end i just feel like the end product is disappointing aaghdaghag lol

#mark fluff #mark au #mark oneshot #mark blurb #mark imagine #mark fanfic #mark lee #mark lee au #mark lee fluff #nct 127 #nct dream #nct au #nct fluff #nct blurb #nct oneshot #mark angst #nct angst #mark imagines #haechan #i mean #he's kinda mentioned #idk #nct #nct fanfic

[whereisten]

Cry For Me

“There’s something about Mark Lee.”

Summary: There’s something about that Mark Lee. Everyone praises him for his kindness, for his respectfulness, for his easiness. He never shows anger or distain, no, he’s always—always content. So how does he do it? He’s human like the rest of us, surely he must get angry? You know the truth, you see all sides of him, the nation’s dear Mark Lee.

Pairing: Idol Boyfriend!Mark X female reader

Genre: smutt, hm? Yeah just smut and a cute aftercare moment

Warnings: oh boy..BDSM (Dom Mark, hot wax, spanking, handcuffs, electric shock usage, stick flogger, dacryphilia), impregnation/breeding kink, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, rough sex, dirty talk, fingering, oral sex, mirror sex, unprotected sex (be safe tho!), c*eam pie, biting..forgive me for my sins

Word Count: 4.6k

(A/N: bro so like Mark is so sweet and so adorable and I couldn’t help but think “what if he’s actually wild behind close doors?🤔” and well..that’s how this was born! Hope you like it! It’s been a while since I’ve written such descriptive smut but it was fun!

———

Mark is a sadistic dacryphiliac. He enjoys taking his anger out on you and watching you cry. 

He’s an idol during the day, and most nights he's the sweetest man you know. But there are some nights when he wants to tear you apart. It’s not that the man the world sees is a facade or mask of who he truly is, it’s just that this man is only possible because of the existence of the man he is on those nights when he gets upset with you. It’s give and take. 

The best part? You love it, you love every side of Mark. You adore his sweet “I’ll make breakfast for you,” “I’ll carry your bags for you,” “I bought 10 bouquets and this $10,000 watch for you,” “let me cuddle you all day” etc. side. You love crying for him and bringing him to paradise, but most of all, you love being the only one to see all sides of him. The evil look in his eyes that you saw some nights was unseen by the rest of the world and you ate it up. 

It’s not like he’d break up with you if you said ‘no’ to his dramatic kink, but the sub in you just wanted to make him happy..by any means. You would watch him work 23 hours a day and still punish himself for not being good enough. You wanted to ease his stress in any way you could, and after one night of riding him until you cried from overstimulation, you both realized that he was more relieved than ever. 

Any worries he had disappeared each and every time after.

Tonight is just one one of those typical nights where Mark desperately needs you to do the thing that relieves his stress. 

He comes home at 9 PM and throws his bag to the ground.

“Y/n…” he whispers before sitting on the edge of the bed and exhaling.

You’re in the shower so you don’t hear him.

“Y/n!”

“Mark? I’ll be out soon.”

“Need you now!” He runs a hand through his hair and based on his tone you already know he’s in *that* mood.

You quickly rinse yourself off and step out of the shower. “I’m coming!”

You say a little bit more aggressively than you intended. You were just frustrated that you couldn’t enjoy your aromatherapy body wash for a little bit longer.

You walk out in your robe. “What’s wrong? Everything okay?”

Mark chuckles. “It smells good here, I see you lit some candles.”

You smile nervously. “Yeah..it’s for my aromatherapy.”

Mark hums, but still hangs his head low.

“Come here.” He pats the spot beside him on the bed.

You sit down and turn to hug him. He embraces you quickly and caresses the nape of your neck with his finger tips.

When you pull away, he stares into your eyes and rubs his thumb along your chin. 

He knits his brows. ““My” aromatherapy? How selfish of you…what about me? Are you gonna do anything for me?”

He pouts and your eyes widen. 

“I-uh- yes of course it’s for us both, that’s why I put them in the bedroom.”

“On your knees.” He frowns.

You instantly get up and kneel before him like he demanded.

“Remember the safe word?” He asks as he stands up and caresses your hair, and then the side of your face.

“Yes.”

“Back straight, don’t you dare change that pose.”

He smiles softly then walks past you to take a shower. He then makes himself something to eat and sits on the couch while watching T.V.

Your knees and back grow tired as you listen to what sounds to be a Twilight movie. 

How long would this take? Couldn’t be any longer than two hours, right? But then once the movie is over, Mark makes himself some popcorn and watches another movie. 

Your body starts to shake as hours go by, you aren’t sure how much longer you can go.

“M-Mark?” You call out his name to see if he’s still awake.

When you don’t receive a reply, you relax your body a bit and slouch over. You start to doze off finally.

Then suddenly, Mark snatches your head back. “Can’t a whore like you listen to basic instructions?” he says huskily.

“I’m so sorry! Please forgive me! I got tired! It’s been so long!” You whine.

“Get up.” He lets your hair go and sits on the edge of the bed again.

It takes you some time to shake off the numbness in your legs, but you manage to stand up.

“Take your robe off.”

He opens your nightstand and takes out a pair of electrified handcuffs..oh yeah, the sweet Mark Lee certainly had his sadistic ways.

These were created to deliver moderate shocks to you any time you tried to break out of them. 

You put your hands in front of you to let him put them on like he’s done for so many nights.

He locks his deep brown eyes with yours. There was something funny about how he maintained his large, innocent eyes while doing such a scandalous thing. The puppy-like expression seen across the world daily is still seen by you now after you’ve kneeled on the hardwood floor for nearly 3 hours just for him.

He pats his thigh and you lay across him in just his boxers with your ass up. He loved that you always knew what he meant. You were such an obedient girl.

“Let’s see how wet you are.”

Without warning, he jabs two fingers into your pussy. You close your legs tightly and cry out.

He places his other hand into the small of your back to hold you down. “Stop fucking squirming.”

He pulls his fingers out and licks them while moaning. “Ahh such a good whore..I think I can still taste my cum from the last time I graced this pussy.”

He puts them in again, deep enough to make you tremble. “Mark! Please! I’ve been a good girl.”

Mark shakes his head. “We’re just getting started, save it.”

He moves his fingers in and out continuously, brushing his thumb against your clit every so often just to feel you clench. You can feel every ridge and the knuckles of his slender fingers. You moan and try to keep yourself from moving your wrists too much.

“Ass up, my arm is tired.”

You kneel over his lap and hold yourself up on your elbows.

“Ride them”

You push yourself forward and backward to ride his fingers and it feels too good. Your moans start to get louder, you can’t control your clenching. It didn’t bother you that your body was sore from staying in one position for hours. You just want to cum on his wonderful fingers. You close your eyes and start to chant “yes.” over and over as you approach your climax.

You don’t notice that Mark has picked up the burning candle on the nightstand. Just as you’re about to cum, Mark pours the wax on your back, causing you to cry out in pain and try to pull out of your handcuffs. Electric jolts are sent through your body instantly and the sensations are all too much to bear.

Mark smirks to himself as he watches you struggle. He wraps an arm underneath you and holds your body still over his lap.

“Mark! Fuck!” You pant as the pain starts to subside.

“You would’ve seen that coming if you weren’t getting off on my fingers like that.”

He says lowly. He holds your face in one hand, pushing his fingers and thumb into your cheeks as he watches your eyes fill with tears. 

“Now, go get the mirror.” The “innocent” boy nods.

You stand up on your shaky legs once again and manage to push your standing mirror on wheels over to the edge of the bed.

Mark wraps his arm around your waist and brings you to his lap.

He looks at you through the mirror with a dark, sinister expression.

“Open.”

You spread your legs so that one leg is over his lap and he holds you in his arm. You bend your bound arms and bring your hands to your chest so you can both see.

“Look at that wet cunt..I bet you want me to fill it up right?”

He pinches your nipple, causing you to yelp.

You sniffle. “Y-yes.”

With his other hand, he takes a stick flogger from the nightstand drawer and starts to drag it up your thigh.

You fidget.

“Wanna walk around swollen with my babies? Everyone will know that you’re my whore, is that what you want?”

He teases your entrance with the tip of the flogger as he whispers in your ear. He nibbles on your neck then delivers a sharp slap to your clit.

You yelp.

“Huh?” He slaps you again, this time, leaving the leather tip on your clit and moving it in circles.

“Mhm.” You close your eyes tightly at the mix of plain and pleasure you’re receiving.

“Open your mouth slut. Do you want me to fill you up?” The question is followed by another slap.

“Yes! Ah!”

Mark chuckles. “That’s what I thought.”

He places the flogger down. And fingers you while staring at your body in the mirror. 

“Gonna watch you take my fingers first. Then, I’ll know if you deserve it.”

“Please..Mark, I do.” You whimper.

“What are you begging for?”

He pumps his fingers in and out, curling the tips into your sweet spot and you can’t help but moan at how sexy he looks with his disheveled hair.

“I’m talking to you, whore.” He pushes his fingers in even deeper, making your body rise up in an effort to get away.

“Don’t run away..a slut like you is used to this.”

“Please..give me your cock, Mark, I’m ready for it.”

“Oh yeah? Don’t cum then, only cum when my cock is in you, okay?”

And this would’ve been possible had Mark not started massaging your clit with his other hand.

His digits draw deep circles as his fingers move in and out. You shut your eyes tightly, for the sight only pushed you closer to the orgasm you needed to keep yourself from having.

“Mark!” Your legs start to shake and threaten to close completely.

“Look at me or this will last all night.”

You open your wet eyes and look back at him through the mirror. He’s start to sweat and his chest is heaving.

He can feel you clenching as your beautiful moans grow louder.

He chuckles. “I should’ve known you’d be a bad girl.” His fingers move faster, you feel the bed grow increasingly wet under you. He slides his fingers in and out before spreading your essence across the entrance. He hums to himself when he sees how wet you are.

“Mark..please, I..I need you..”

Your head falls back onto his shoulder and your breaths become shorter, you’re about to cum and then-

Mark stops moving his fingers and pulls on the short chain of your handcuffs. Your wrists move with them, instantly triggering another shock.

You shake and curse.

Mark digs his nails into your side as he holds you still. “A slut like you deserves that.”

“Fuck..oh my god.” You cry.

“Lay down.”

You lay down on the bed and silently thank the heavens for the comfort against your back.

“On your stomach.”

You sigh and turn over.

You hope that he will take you now and bring you both to your long awaited climaxes, but you know that he isn’t ready quite yet. You’d have to do some more crying and begging first.

He slaps your ass hard. Your body jolts in response.

“Going against my orders?”

He spanks you harder.

“That’s not very nice.”

He leans over and grabs the candle again, pouring the wax onto your back once more.

“Mark!” You scream in the bed.

He only grabs your hair and pulls your head back. He bites into your neck.

“Fuck!” You whimper.

He pours hot wax onto your shoulder. He then puts the candle back and resumes spanking your ass. His attacks are harsh and cause tears to finally start flowing down your face.

“Mark..please.” You beg through sniffles.

“What is it you want now?”

He brings your lower half up off of the bed and spanks your clit.

“Baby..please fuck me.”

He flips your body over and spanks your clit again.

“I’m so tired and I need you..” you beg again.

“Is that so?” He spanks you hard. His fingers then dip inside your pussy. 

“I’m tired too, you know? Having to practice all fucking day long just to hear that we’re nowhere near ready for our concert in two days…yeah, I guess you could say I’m tired.”

You nod. “I’m sorry, Mark.”

“But it’s okay, that’s what you’re here for, right? Just let me play with you and it will all be okay. I’m making you cry and beg like a good little slut.”

You nod again. “Yes, I want to make you feel good. Please..I’m ready.”

Mark laughs to himself and he continues to pump his fingers in between your walls. “Silly girl, I don’t need to put my dick in you to feel good. I feel great right now.”

He lowers his face to your pussy and breathes against it.

“When you’re a mess like this, you’ve already made me feel amazing.”

He licks a long stripe along your entrance before burying his nose onto your clit. He fixes your legs over his shoulders by bending them at the knees.

Your head falls back into the pillow as your stomach sinks.

Only you knew that the talents of Mark’s mouth extended beyond his rapping and singing abilities. His lips and tongue made you dizzy every time.

And tonight was no exception. He lapped up the juices that leaked out of you earlier like he needed it to survive.

He moaned against you, sending vibrations through your core. He moved his tongue in circular fast motions before sucking your clit. His soft plump lips kissed your skin with haste.

It didn’t take long for you to cum all over his mouth. 

You cried out his name as he kept going, his tongue never stopped its rhythmic pace. It was constant and left you feeling open and raw, but in need of more. He didn’t even have to add his fingers, his tongue and lips were enough.

“Cum for me again, slut.”

And you did. You shut your eyes tightly and arched your back.

Mark tapped your clit with his finger tips relentlessly now while licking your entrance. The attack was too much. You were overly sensitive and so dizzy you forgot about the handcuffs. You reached down to push his head away, but ended up receiving an intense shock. Your body twisted on the bed, but Mark was unfazed.

“Mark!” You called out loudly, not caring if the neighbors, i.e the other members, heard you.

He tugged your skin in between his teeth.

“Stop making so much noise..or do you want me to fuck you on the balcony for everyone to hear?”

You clenched and moaned at his threat.

“Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you? I’ll breed you up nicely right in front of everyone.” He chuckled. He continued to tap onto your clit while looking up at you through hooded eyes.

“Baby..please…I can’t...it’s too much.” 

“Yeah you can..one more..for me..” 

His tongue goes in even deeper and your eyes begin to roll in the back of your head.

To Mark’s satisfaction, you squirt this time while he continues to tap.

“Good girl.”

You’re so sensitive, you cry and carefully bring your hands up to your face to try to hide it.

He kneels and licks his lips before chuckling.

“No no no..don’t hide your pretty face from me. As a matter of fact, I want you to see it too. On your knees.”

You get on your trembling knees and position yourself in front of the mirror.

He approaches you from behind, sneaking his hand from your warm butt cheek all the way up to your hair. He grabs a fistful of it and pushes you down into the bed.

He brings your ass up as he kneels behind you. You can feel his hard cock against your thigh and swallow hard.

“Look at me.”

You lift your head up and look at his handsome face through the mirror.

You lock eyes as he pushes into you slowly, so slowly you struggle to keep your eyes open and head straight.

You arch your back in an attempt to get more from his length, but it doesn’t work. If he keeps going at this painful speed, you’re bound to end up crying.

“My little whore is getting all nice and stretched out. It’s still so tight..fuck.” He says with a low tone that you loved. You clench and he pulls out immediately and spanks you hard for it.

You fall into the bed, but resume your position right away.

“Not yet..you’re greedy.”

You look up to see his lips slightly parted while his chest rises and falls slowly. The intense glare told you if you did that again, you’d surely regret it.

“I’m sorry.”

Mark smirks and continues to bring your body onto his dick slowly. You were always so beautiful from every angle, but this position was one of his favorites. 

He could stare at your smooth back and ass, and the way it took him in like it was nothing, he could grab your hair and hear you whimper as you took his back shots, and he could watch your weepy eyes through the mirror as you begged for him over and over with just his name on your mind. 

A part of him did like the idea of people, or more specifically, the other members watching him fuck you like this. They had no idea he could get this rough, and based on your usual sassy attitude, they had no idea you could be so obedient and desperate for him.

He nearly cums from the thought of them watching you cry and push him away as he forced his offspring into you. 

You wondered how he was able to hold himself back after all this time, but Mark was a talented man. There truly was no limit to what he could do.

You still look at him through the mirror but your eyes start to grow tired and he notices.

“Count how many times I push into you..”

You nod. “One..”

He pulls out after a few seconds, and you’re about to say ‘two’ but he takes his time.

He chuckles as he watches you bite your bottom lip and furrow your brows. “So anxious..relax.”

“Two.” You whine as you feel every vein and ridge on his length. The curve and girth alone made you see stars.

You continue until you get to Ten and it feels like it’s taken you 8 minutes to get there and while it may not sound like a long time, it was definitely painful.

“M-Mark..faster please..” you can feel your core throbbing and pleading for satisfaction again.

“Okay..”

And Mark does go faster but he goes harder as well, finger tips digging into your hips as he drives into the depths of your pussy with each thrust.

“15! 16! 17!” You cry out.

He leans over you and behinds to fuck into your body doggie style. He reaches around and presses two fingers into your clit again.

“Fuck! I wanna cum with you, baby.”

You watch him as he smirks, for he knows that you were much further along than he was.

He pulls your body up in front of his so you can see his fingers working on your clit in the mirror.

His thrusts stop as you begin to ride him on your own. You go forward slightly and anchor yourself on your palms as you let your body take his cock at its own tempo. Your mouth falls open as you pant.

“You’re so fucking desperate for my seed huh?” He whispers into your ear, his fingertips draw smaller circles with more pressure.

“Yes! Yes, Mark! I’m gonna-l”

He pinches your nipple hard as you cum. You cry out while trying to pick yourself up from his dick but he continues to thrust into you fast.

“Have you lost count?” He says calmly.

“I’m sorry..l” you sob.

“Don’t apologize, we’ll just start over.”

And so you did. Mark made you lie down again, this time with you staring at your face upside down in the mirror as he ate you out.

You came over and over, despite trying to push his head away. He sucks and tugs on your clit to drive you insane.

“One more time..” he’d say after every orgasm you had. “You were so greedy earlier, I just wanna make sure you get enough.” But really, it was like he was the one that couldn’t get enough.

“Mark please, I can’t..Can’t take any more.”

He pauses his attack and lifts himself up over your face while licking his red and swollen lips. He smirks and suddenly pulls on your handcuffs.

A high pitched noise leaves you and your back arches when you feel the jolt of pain.

“Go ahead and cry, you know it makes me cum faster.”

He goes back to licking every part of your pussy like his life depends on it.

You cried for nearly 10 minutes after. Your knees and arms grew tired.

“M-Mark..” you barely croaked out.

“Mmm so good.. I guess I should fuck you now.” He wipes his mouth with his arm and brings a leg over his shoulder while kneeling.

He entered you once again. This time, your body moved limply on the bed. You had no more energy to call out his name. You cried from sensitivity for too long. All you knew was that it felt good to have him inside you. He was the perfect fit.

“Fuck…” he moans at the sight of you fucked out and in tears.

He thrusts into you harder and watches your breasts move with satisfaction.

He leans down to bite a nipple. “Your breasts are gonna be so swollen.”

“Ahh!” You moan.

He starts to go faster and you lean forward with both hands in handcuffs still to run your fingers along his abs and pelvis. His thrusts start to become painfully rough. He stretches you out even more and you aren’t sure if you’ll be able to walk tomorrow.

“Slower..baby..please.” You whine.

He shakes his head. Mark goes in and out of you forcefully as he watches you below him, hypnotizing him with your pretty wet eyes, gorgeous breasts and heaving stomach.

You could only think of his name while you held his eye contact.

He smirks, watching you go silly for him. Your cheeks are completely wet from tears and it makes him ridiculously hot, but to get him to the edge he has to see you cry just one more time. He pulls the chain on the handcuffs and watches you scream.

“Mark!”

Your eyes shut tightly as you shook in pain.

Mark’s eyes widen as he watches tears overflow within seconds and that’s all he needs. You try once more to wiggle away from him, but fail. 

“I can’t! C-Can’t!” You whimper through sniffles and shake your head. You’re completely ruined from the shocks and overwhelming pleasure. You clench and moan as your head falls back.

He jams himself into your pussy faster and harder while holding your hip down firm. He shakes his head and growls.

“Take it! Don’t fucking run away from me.”

“M-Mark..please.” Your tears are endless now and he finally releases into you at the sight.

You’re so close to blacking out, but you don’t. You hear Mark’s glorious moans and praises as he cums deep inside you, his tip curving right onto your sweet spot. “Fuck..so good. This pussy is so good. Don’t let anything escape, okay?”

He moves just a few more times to ensure that you’re stuffed with all he has to offer finally. You wanted him to fill you up and in true Mark fashion, he refused to disappoint.

He collapses onto the bed beside you and pants.

“Shit..”

“Fuck..that was good.” you exhale.

He leans over and takes the handcuffs off. He throws them to the floor, then brings your face to his and kisses you deeply.

“You did so well, thank you.” He whispers while wiping your tears.

“You’re amazing, Mark. I love you.”

You manage to utter even though your voice is almost gone after yelling his name all night.

He kisses your forehead and leans over you on his elbow. “I love you too. How are you feeling? Did I go too hard?” 

You laugh and shake your head. “Nah..I could’ve said the safe word, but I didn’t need to. You’re so hot when you get like this.”

He smirks. “Can’t believe you like this..you’re just as twisted as I am.”

You both laugh. “Well, I don’t know about that.. but you’ve been getting pretty brave with the baby thing.”

He gets up and grabs a washcloth. He takes his time and wipes you up with it. “Mhmm..and you get wetter every time…” the corner of his mouth pulls up into a sly smile.

You chuckle and relax your head into the pillow as he cleans you . “Just let me know when you’re ready and I’ll get off the pill..let’s see if you’re still excited to say all that.”

“Of course, baby, I mean it, you know that.” He kisses your ear and goes back to the bathroom.

“So about what you said earlier…did the manager say you’re not ready?”

Mark sighs when he walks back in. “Yeah..”

“It’ll be okay, Mark. You guys have been working hard for months.”

“Yeah I’m just disappointed in myself. I know I can do better.”

“What on earth are you talking about? You’re amazing at what you do. Years of experience doesn’t just go away for one night, you got this.” You caress the side of his face.

He nods. “Thank you.”

“The fans love you! You could go on stage and sing a terrible rendition of My Heart Will Go on and they’d still love you. So don’t worry about it.”

He lays back down beside you as he smiles. “I’m not worried about it anymore..I think I just needed to see you beg for me.”

You laughed out loud. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m just one of hundreds of thousands of fans begging for you.” You look into his eyes and kiss his lips.

“Yeah…I guess you’re right.” 

“Ugh..don’t get cocky.” You tease while running your fingers through his hair.

“Let’s go to sleep. We can do some aromatherapy tomorrow together.”

You hug each other, with your head resting on Mark’s chest, and fall asleep soon after.

#nct #nct au #mark lee #mark lee au #mark lee smut #nct smut #nct boyfriend #nct x you #mark lee x y/n #nct hard hours #mark lee x you #mark lee x reader #nct imagines #nct reactions #nct scenarios #nct oneshot #nct fluff #nct roleplay #nct romance #nct drabbles #nct x reader #nct 127 #nct dream #nct dream smut #nct fanfic #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #kpop au

[badasgirlfriend]

i miss you, im sorry (smau)

synopsis: sena and mark were the couple everyone envied, their bond seen as the perfect puzzle pieces that fit each other, everyone believed they would last forever. however, their messy breakup left both with a sour taste in their mouths. now, a year later, they meet again in an unexpected situation - both having signed up for a theatrical play. although they've clearly 'moved on', sena wants to put the past behind her but mark is determined to win her back. is this a chance for a happy ending or for more heartbreak?

pairings: mark lee x choi sena (fem!oc)

genre: exes to lovers, college au, non idol au, whipped mark, angsttttt😟, crack, fluff

warnings: a lot of kys jokes, depression

status: ongoing

taglist open: @b1ackbunny , @italiekim , @1luvkarina

PROFILES I | PROFILES II

01. stalking mark

02. im fine

#mark lee #mark lee x reader #mark lee x oc #mark lee smau #mark lee fluff #mark lee angst #mark lee imagine #mark lee au #mark lee social media au #nct x reader #nct smau #nct imagine #nct crack #nct social media au #nct mark lee #nct fluff #nct dream mark lee #i miss you im sorry smau #imyim smau #eli's smaus #talking with eli #kpop #kpop smau #mark lee exes to lovers #angst

[elix8r]

it's raining, it's pouring - teaser

FULL FIC HERE

PAIRING: cheetah hybrid!mark x house cat hybrid!y/n

GENRES: hybrid!au, smut, angst, enemies to ?

TEASER WC: 0.54k i'm editing it rn and i'm thinking that the end product will be around 5k?

SUMMARY:  Hating Mark could almost be considered your part-time job ever since Taeyong adopted him. But on one fateful night, a raging storm strikes, and with Taeyong nowhere to be found, you find yourself seeking an unlikely source of comfort - your annoying cheetah roommate. 

It was obvious that you were beyond stressed, and even without smelling you, Mark could feel anxiety radiating off of you. It was indeed storming terribly outside, and now Mark was becoming worried knowing that Taeyong was out there. But seeing your state, he came to the conclusion that it would do no one any good to have the both of you freaking out.

"Hey, I'm sure he's fine. I bet he's just waiting out the storm at his work. Why don't you come in here and wait together for him?" His words did not do much to ease your tension, but you did oblige (if it were other circumstances, you would never agree to enter his room, but desperate times called for desperate measures).

"But why isn't he answering my calls then? He knows that I hate storms, and I can't go through them without him! Mark, what if he's never coming back?" You had plopped yourself on top of his bed, eyes wide and lips quivering.

Mark sighed. "Y/N, now you're being ridiculous. Why would he just abandon us? He's probably not getting a signal or something more reasonable."

His dismissive response lacked empathy for your concerns, and you were now shedding tears. "What do you mean more reasonable? I think my concerns are valid! Maybe he's tired of us fighting all the time! I mean, we haven't been the best for him, and I know he's been having a hard time with us. It’s possible that he had it with us and just abandoned us to run away!"

The concern he previously felt was now gone as your dramatic rant slowly started to irk him more and more. Everyone knew that you were the main instigator of your fights, always being unfriendly towards Mark, so to have you group him with you had him scoffing. "You mean more like you were not being a good hybrid like you should have been. I mean, you're the one always instigating fights. I try my best to deal with you, but you're so bratty. Honestly, I'm surprised Taeyong's been able to deal with you this long."

Throughout the three years of living with Mark, you could only count a handful of times that he responded to you in such a manner. He was usually mild-mannered and overall just nice, so hearing this from him had you shocked. It was such a switch and instantly, you could feel his annoyance towards you in the air. 

"Ma-Mark, what do you mean?" Your cries had yet to stop, and Mark rolled his eyes at you. Were you that dumb that you hadn't caught on to how frustrated Taeyong had recently been with your behavior? Taeyong was usually very tolerant, but even he was having a hard time with you.

"Jesus Y/N, are you seriously that stupid?" Even Mark was shocked at how he was talking to you, but this pent-up anger towards you had been a long time coming. He had been holding it all in, trying to be as good as he could to you despite your actions towards him, but now he was reaching a boiling point. He was beyond annoyed, and maybe this cold hard wake-up call was needed for you to start behaving better.

#nct dream smut #mark lee #mark lee smut #mark lee x reader #mark lee scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct 127 smut #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct x reader #nct mark #fic: it's raining it's pouring #hybrid!au #mark lee angst #mark lee au

[scarletwinterxx]

fool for you - mark lee dad scenario

a bit late to this but OH MY GOD MARK LEE GIRL DAD😭🥺😭🥺 we already know he's going to be the best dad to his kids in the future🤍🤍

you already know my feels went through the roof after seeing that cli[ so here's another mark dad scenario and can you believe this is the 10th one OMGGGGGG anyways i hope you like it!

part1: day with dad mark lee

part2: another day with dad mark lee

part3: a day with the lee's

part4: (prologue) i don't know how to make eggs

part5: glitter pens and goodnight kisses with the Lee's

part6: first love and kisses

part7: naps and baby kicks

part8: then there was three

part9: just like you

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"in my next life, I think I'll become a fool for my daughter"

"Lovie, can you stay with Minjee? I'm just going to the mall with Minjung to get new shoes and a few other stuff for the baby" you tell your husband who is currently on the sofa resting.

It's around that time again when you're counting down the days until the new baby comes, this time the two of you choose to keep the gender a surprise. You won't find out until you give birth. There's an on going bet in your household whether it'll be a girl or a boy.

"Why don't I come with him? You sure you okay to go out?" he asks, watching you struggle putting on your shoes. He chuckles before walking toward you, kneeling down to put it on for you even double tying the shoelaces just to be sure.

"It's okay, besides the doctor said it's healthy to walk around. And we both know it'll be easier to look after Minjung then Jee" you laugh, your husband agreeing with you

"She's the main character, we're all just living in her world" he says

You smile at Mark, giving him a kiss before getting your purse and keys.

"Call me if you need anything" he tells you

"Minjung, let's go" you shout, your son appears from the staircase ready to go

"You already know, buddy. Take care of mom, okay? Call me if something happens" he gives his son a quick hug before watching the two of you drive away

The two of you finished the errands and is now getting a quick snack before heading home. You like having one on one time with your kids. It helps you keep a closer relationship with them. And even though you know the two siblings get along very well, you still make it a point to spend time with them one by one. And so does Mark.

"Is there anything else you need, buddy?" you ask your son

He shakes his head, taking a bite of his sandwich. You smile watching him, it feels just like yesterday you were sitting in the backseat with newborn Minjung in the baby car seat on your way home from the hospital and now he's 13.

"How do you feel about getting another sibling?"

He looks at you, it's like looking at Mark's eyes. They same round, adorable chocolate eyes you love so much.

"Excited. It'll be cool if it's a boy. I'll teach him to play basketball and bike. It's okay too if it's a girl" he shrugs

"You know mommy and daddy loves you very very much"

"I know, I love you too" he smiles back at you

When you get home, Minjee welcomes you excitedly asking if you got her a cakepop which Minjung hands over to his sister

"Wah thank you, oppa! Dad look oppa got me a pink cakepop!" she screams excitedly, running to wherever Mark is. You and Minjung follow her, Mark in the kitchen getting dinner ready

"Cool, but you can have that after dinner okay? Na uh don't give me that look, missy. I ordered chicken just like you asked" the father-daughter banter continues

The two siblings help set up the table while you stay in the kitchen with Mark, "How did it go?" Mark asks you

"Good, we had fun. You sound like you had fun too" you joked

"I swear she knows how to make me says yes" he mumbles, you walk towards him, giving him a side hug

"You love her" you tell him with a chuckle and a kiss on the jaw

"That I do. I'd do anything for our kids" he says, looking down at you. He kisses you on the nose, eliciting giggles from you before breaking away

"Okay, dinner time!"

After dinner and everyone finished with their night time routines, it's finally time to call it a night.

You lay on your side of the bed, getting the pregnancy pillow ready

"Can I keep that after?" Mark asks, you watch him step out of the shower. Towel hanging on his hips while he dries his hair with another

"No" you tell him with a tight smile, Mark laughs before walking towards the dresser to get clothes

"Oh come on, let me enjoy the view some more"

"Woman, you are already pregnant" he tells you, playfully throwing the towel he was drying his hair with towards you. He puts on his sleeping shorts, leaving the shirt behind. He goes out the room to check all doors before going to bed

He turns towards you, the two of you face to face.

"Just a few more days and it'll be five of us" he whispers. His hand resting on your belly

"I'm calling it, this one will look like you again" you tell him

"You love us"

"That I do, I love you and all versions of you. Especially the little humans we made" you smile at him. He scoots closer to kiss you. Kissing you on the lips then on your cheeks a few time until you were laughing.

"Okay, time to rest. Goodnight, baby. I love you" he tells you

"Love you"

Minjung woke up to something poking his back, groggily looking to see Minjee

"Jee? What?"

The girl hiccups, still crying. This woke Minjung up more, sitting up on his bed and turning the bedside light on,

"Why are you crying? Did you have a bad dream?" he asks

"Will mom and dad not let me live here when the baby comes?" she asks, her tiny voice breaking

"What? of course not" her brother immediately answers. He gets out from under the blanket to hug his sister, wiping a few tears running down her face

"When you were born, I was so excited. Dad took me to the hospital to meet you. You had this big bow on, you were crying a lot too" he tells her

"You were there?" she asks

Minjung smiles "Yea, dad even helped me to carry you. You were really tiny. When the new baby comes, we'll go together to meet them"

"Will you still play with me when they come?"

"Of course I will, we're bestfriends right? You gave me this" he says, showing the beaded bracelet Minjee made for him. Similar to what she's wearing.

"You promise? You'll still get me cakepops?"

"Of course, pinkypromise"

The two siblings lock pinky fingers, the younger one finally smiling.

"Wait here okay?" Minjung says before going out of his room and carefull walking towards his parents bedroom. Knocking lightly before going in.

He walks towards Mark's sleeping figure, tapping him awake

"Huh what wha huh?? Minjung? Are you okay? What's happening?" Mark asks, sitting up immediately

"What time is it?" he asks, looking for his phone to see it's 2am

"Minjee woke up crying, she's in my room now"

Mark stands up carefully, looking over at your sleeping figure before quickly putting on a shirt and walking out with Minjung

"She okay? bad dream?"

"No uh it's about the new baby"

His son didn't need to elaborate anymore, already getting a hint why his babygirl was crying.

When the two walks back to Minjung's room, Jee still sitting there.

"Hey, Jee. Come on, dad will come with you. Goodnight buddy, thank you for being a good brother" Mark tells his eldest, kissing him on the head before stepping out of the room with the younger one

"Do you want warm milk before going back to bed?" Mark asks the 6 year old girl, getting a no from her

When they get to Minjee's room, the two sat on the bed

"Are you sad right now?" Mark asks his daughter

"Will you still love Jee when the baby comes?" Jee asks and Mark crumbles

"Oh my girl, of course I will. I'll love you longer than forever and that's a long long long time. You'll always be my princess. Even after the new baby comes, mom and dad might need to spend more time with them but that doesn't mean we love you and your brother any less" he tucks her hair behind her ear, pinching her cute round cheeks she definitely got from you.

"Can dad have a hug?" he opens his arms, Minjee scooting in her father's embrace

"Always remember, dad loves you so so much. I'd give you the moon and all the stars if you want. If you ever feel sad you can come and talk to me okay?"

He feels the younger one nod. Tucking her in bed, giving her a kiss on the forehead before calling it a night (again)

When he gets back to your room, he slides under the sheets then he feels you search for him

"Min?" you mumble

"Here, baby. Go to sleep" he leans over to give your temple a kiss. He sees a sleepy smile on your lips before your heads goes down on the pillow again.

Just like that everyone was asleep again, but before he fades into dreamland he says a silently thank you to heaven for this life. Ready and excited to face tomorrow with his family.

#fic #story #fanfic #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct mark lee #mark lee #mark imagine #mark scenario #mark fluff #mark dad #mark au #mark lee imagine #mark lee fluff #mark lee au #nct imagine #nct scenario #nct fluff #nct au #nct dad

[writtenbymkl]

╰┈➤ synopsis: it’s simple. mark lee wants to date you, the problem? he doesn’t know a single thing about you and when your friend gives him the first boyfriend trial, he fails.

╰┈➤ pairing: mark x reader

- MINI SERIES -

genre: comedy, romance, fluff, smau

warnings: swearing, jokes abt death

status: coming very soon !

started: august 2, 2023

completed: n/a

updates: everyday

taglist: open ! please comment or pm if you’d like to be added :)

a/n: i’m super excited to release this bc it’s in mark’s pov which i’ve never done … i was also debating on whether i wanted to upload or not bc i always have ideas and just type out what i think & then give up but i was like … it doesn’t have to be a long au, i could just make it a mini series 🤔 i mean the chapters are pretty long but it’s enough to make it a 3 part series so i hope you enjoy reading once it’s out :D

CHAPTER 1: who is that fine babe? 🤓☝️

CHAPTER 2: are you cheating on me? 🙁

CHAPTER 3: i would suck your toes if you asked 🦶

END.

©writtenbymkl

#mark lee #mark #mark lee nct #mark nct #mark smau #mark lee smau #mark social au #mark lee social media au #mark social media au #mark lee social au #mark x reader #mark x y/n #mark lee x reader #mark lee x y/n #mark lee texts #mark lee au #mark lee series #mark texts #mark au #nct smau #nct dream smau #mark scenarios #mark lee scenarios #nct social media au #nct social au #nct dream social au #nct dream social media au #renjun #jeno #haechan

[yaasirambles]

Through the Walls- Mark Lee NCT

A lil Mark piece I wrote a while ago. Based it on the song 3:00 A.M by Finding Hope.

Word Count: 555

Fluff, SFW

You sigh, kick off your boots, and tear your jacket off. Your body was freezing from the pouring rain outside. Your hair soaked, clothes soaked. You ran to the bathroom and turned the shower on, letting the hot water run all over you. Bringing your body out of the numb state it had been in earlier. After drying off, you throw on sweats, a T-shirt, and fuzzy socks.

*ding*

You looked at your phone and smiled. Your neighbor Mark texted you. You two had grown close; he was the first to welcome you when you moved into the apartment complex almost eight months ago.

Markie: Vibe sesh? Rain is perfect rn haha

You: Hell yeah. Lemme grab some hot cocoa and I'll be there.

Markie: Cocoa sounds perfect. —5 min.

"Vibe Sesh" was something you do often now. He would play his guitar and sing, and you'd listen through the wall that you two shared, it connected your apartments. Sometimes, you'd sing to him. At first, it started as an accident. You just heard him one day and listened, mesmerized. You told him the next day, and he was embarrassed. But after insisting you liked it, liked his voice, he started doing it more often and texting you when he was about to begin.

You smiled again and went to the kitchen. You were preparing a cup of hot cocoa and grabbing a blanket. You snuggled yourself up in a chair in your living room—the one right up against the wall connected to Marks. You waited a few minutes more, listening to the rain. You got another text from him.

Markie: This one is extra special tonight. It's how I'm currently feeling. So you get a peek inside my heart rn haha.

Then you heard the strumming of his guitar strings, and he started singing. You closed your eyes and sipped your cocoa. Relaxing your head on the chair. Then, you started paying attention to the lyrics of the song as he sang.

"Had you on my mind. And it's not the first time we've gone through this. Wanting you more and more. I can't help but think of what we could be."

Your heart started racing a little. The truth is, you had a crush on Mark. What was there to dislike? He was great. Sweet, caring, talented, and kind. His laugh was adorable. He was a little awkward but in a charming way. Could this song be for you? You didn't want to overthink it. But what if...

When he finished the song, you rushed to your door and threw it open, ready to go to his apartment and shoot your shot. He was already standing there, in front of your door. Both of you were breathing a little heavily.

"That one was about you." he said

"Oh, thank god," You sighed, looking into his eyes and then throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him. His hands rested on your waist as he deepened the kiss. Desperation and relief on both of your lips.

You pulled apart and smiled at each other.

"It's freezing," he laughed, and you looked at him. Realizing he was only in sweatpants and a tank top

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Get in here." you pulled him into your place and closed the door. Making more cups of hot cocoa and spending the night talking and listening to the rain. Thank god for those connecting walls.

#nct #kpop #nct dream #nct imagines #fiction #nct scenarios #nctmark #nct mark lee #marknct #marklee #mark lee fluff #mark fluff #mark lee au #nct au

[diorcities]

hearts

pairing: mark x reader.

genre: suggestive, fluff.

content: college au, friends to lovers???, mark's very popular, reader's a bookworm.

masterlist — req

hiding in the library was the best. skip classes, read tons of books, eat. alone. in silence. absolutely the best.

a few crumbs fell off to the open book in your legs. “oh, fuck,” you mouthed, as your hands hurried to throw the crumbs off the paper. the least you wanted was the caregiver to find bookworms in the books you coincidentally picked from the stall. letting you eat in the library alone was a really good accomplishment, so you didn't wanna be ripped away from that little prize.

“uh?” a voice sounds across the stall. your hands quickly go to your mouth, starting to worry if the mere sound of your breathing could alert your position. “someone's there?” your eyes widened, as the realization hit you hard in the guts. because of that voice. oh boy. you could recognize them from miles away.

“it's probably a mouse,” the girl answers. her girlfriend agreed, quite suspicious. you hold your breath until you couldn't hear their footsteps anymore. when it was safe to move, you got up and went out to the counter.

“the book you lend me, safe and sound,” you assure the lady, with a suspicious look in her face. you handed her the book. “and thanks again for letting me sneak out of lunch break,” you add. “you're welcome, even though... i didn't,” the woman answers “you can't hide forever,” she says, “from those...”. “oh, no, i wasn't hiding,” you said, “did you think i was hiding?” you ask,, letting out a big fake laugh. jesus christ.

“you should start doing something so things can change, that's what i think.”

you sigh softly, opening your mouth to answer, when someone enters the library. your eyes go to the door, immediately returning your gaze to the caregiver. big fuck.

the woman probably sees something in your face, rolling her eyes, as you sense someone approaching from behind. muscles slightly tensing.

“the book you lend me, ma'am.” his voice cut the air and probably your breath.

“thanks, honey,” the woman says, grabbing the book. “how was your test?” she asks, turning to her computer. she did the same question when you arrived early. you said...

“awesome,” he answers. the woman gives you a look before saying: “uh... what a coincidence”. “although, extra help would be nice,” he added later. “like a tutor?” suggests the caregiver as she leaves the counter and goes into a corridor. leaving you. both. alone.

“shall we go?” during this whole time your body remains still, breathing with quick and soft exhalations, but when his raspy voice cut the air, your body melts like honey. he waits, expecting. doe eyes fixed somewhere around you. or in you.

an electric wave shots through your limbs.

“of course”.

it's getting dark outside. the late rays of a sleepy sun washed the sky in pretty watercolors. purple. orange. pink. as you walk to the parking lot, your head tilts back to the clouds. absorbing the view. mark thinks it's cute. he says it out loud. the sky? you ask.

a glimpse of a smile. sure, he answers.

inside his car, an earthy and coffee fragrance dances in the little space inside the car.

where should you go?

mmm...

coffee, you both answer.

the wind blows your hair. his hand caressed your hand.

a song is playing on the radio, but you can recall its name. he glances at you, before turning up the volume. his raspy voice filled the air, singing the lyrics. and you think it's beautiful. he is beautiful. the sun sets, finally, as you arrive at your destiny. and you share a look. a feeling. an emotion.

he leans over. and your forehead bumps into each other. both burst out laughing. his hair makes you tickle. he says the same. the silence shallows both of you. your thoughts dance around, between your bodies. wondering. expecting. til he leans again. and you're not laughing anymore. his lips, on your lips. moving, kissing. and suddenly his hand is on your cheek. and yours in his. your head spins as he kisses you, the intensity growing as the seconds pass. sharp and slow, touchy. leaving you breathless.

the warm surface of the bed meets your bodies. he hasn't stopped kissing you. your lips. your cheeks. your neck. pretty, he said. you look pretty, as he holds onto the headboard, finding balance. his silky skin under your touch. his fingertips tattooed on your waist.

swollen lips letting out pretty sounds, breathy and shaky as both exhalations find each other in the space between your mouths.

tired. staring at each other. out of breath. the silence involving your bodies. your fingers tracing patterns in his collarbone. and shoulders. he wants to remember every part of you, he says. time's so short, you answer. you have to go.

he's driving you home, hands interlaced. hearts intertwined. you want to remember his lips, so you kiss him. slowly. tenderly. time's so short.

“shall we go?” his voice again. only to realize that he's talking to one of his friends. he says yes, and now they're leaving.

the realization of the moment made you dizzy. earth spinning so fast under your feet that your stomach is twisted. you've imagined it all. because no one looked at you deeply. and you can't remember the last time someone kissed you. mark would never talk to you. and that's the worst part of it all.

the woman comes back and gives you a look. the look. start doing something. so things can change. a small act of bravery.

or a small act of humiliation.

you leave the library. your steps increase speed. your heart is beating so fast. a small gasp falls from your lips, as you see him in the doorway. he's talking with his friends. he kinda seems flustered. undecided. his friends seemed to cheer him up until he ultimately declined. defeated. his shoulders shrink, as he thinks of something. his head shakes two times and hurries his friends out of the building.

“mark.”

now he sees you. looking stupid in the middle of the hallway. you make your pace and approach. as you came closer, a thousand emotions washed his face. one stands out more than the others. looking into his eyes, you realize that he looked like he was expecting you to be there.

“yn,” he pronounces your name like it was something he was waiting to say out loud. and you knew. it was worth it

#nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct au #mark lee scenarios #mark scenarios #mark lee au #mark lee drabbles #mark lee fluff #mark lee x reader #mark lee x you #nct dream fluff #nct 127 fluff #nct fic #m:mark #♡mark

[saythenametotheworld]

Maybe If

Genre: exes baggage; angst; smut

Pairing: Mark Lee x Female Reader

Warning: angst, mentions of physical and emotional abuse, mentions of alcoholism, explicit sexual content (18+)

Notes: 21k words, song prompt was Maybe If by BIBI

Synopsis: An unprompted college reunion for a friend's wedding had you looking back on the most beautiful relationship you ever had with the most breathtaking boy you've ever known—Mark Lee.

"He'll be there for sure." You've lost count of the number of times Nadine said that today. "Will you be fine?" Even the question about your well-being has been engraved in your mind for days now because she's asked about it each time she remembers Mark Lee being present at your friend's wedding.

"You know, Nadine, it almost sounds like you're the one who dated Mark Lee," Stan commented, giving her a quick glance at the backseat. "Shut up about it already. I'm sure she knows Mark will be there."

"I'm just worried about her. I know it's been a while but what happened between them was intense, seeing how they chose to cut contacts completely instead of being friends. What if they end up fighting?"

"Mark won't fight y/n," Stan chuckled, glancing at you. "He never fights y/n."

You kept your eyes outside the car window, counting the minutes before you arrived at your hometown. You're not thinking about Mark Lee-not even about the messy state you left him in. You were thinking about the town you grew up in; everything you hated and loved about it, everyone you grew up knowing, and everyone you dreaded seeing. It was the one place you wished you never had to go back to, the one place that gave you so much to love and even more to hate.

When you left for better opportunities in a different place, you vowed you would never come back. There's nothing for you to go back to anyway, just a miserable old city where you lived a miserable life trying to deal with a miserable old couple. They even told you to never come back after draining you dry of the money that you spent half of your life saving. You have no fond memory of your aunt and uncle. Even the mere mention of their names angers you. The living condition wasn't any better, if anything, you worked your ass off to feed the people who stole from you. You hated it there and you hate it till now.

The one good thing about the place was your relationships outside the house. Reminiscing about your friends should make you smile, but even that became something to hate after you left and never came back.

"Welcome home, guys!" Stan cheered as you entered the downtown area of the small city.

Nothing much has changed, except for a few old establishments you used to work at which now bore different names. The road was definitely better. Streetlights and traffic signs were updated. The trees that once lined the sidewalk are now gone. But overall, the vibe still feels the same and you still haven't changed your mind about not coming back here. If it wasn't for Dianne asking you to be one of her bridesmaids, you wouldn't even consider taking a peek.

"We'll see you tomorrow, okay?" said Nadine, hugging you before you got out of the car.

You'll be staying at the bride's house for the rest of the week to help with the preparations. She said she'll burn every motel in town if you ever so much as consider staying in one instead of accepting her offer to accommodate you. You figured she wouldn't be able to do it for real but the way she was so passionate about it made you say 'yes' to crashing at her place.

"Y/n! My dearest!" Dianne greeted as soon as she opened the door of her house. You hugged by the doorstep, squeezing the soul out of each other until someone told you to take your dramatic reunion back inside the house.

"Congratulations, Dianne. I'm happy for you and also, thank you for having me as one of your bridesmaids," you told her while you sat around the living room with a few other girls that you were introduced to as her entourage.

"Of course, you have to be my bridesmaid. You and I go way back and did you forget that it was you who set me up with my fiancée?"

You chuckled, nodding as you were reminded of the blind date project that you worked so hard to carry out just so Dianne could have her dinner date with the handsome bookshop owner that she had a crush on. It's been six years since then but they're still together. You chatted for a while, discussing the few remaining things that still need to be done for the wedding. When the doorbell rang, Dianne excused herself to welcome her other guests. You were talking to Amanda, Dianne's little sister so you weren't paying attention to the door. Dianne approached you as soon as the guest came in and spoke in a serious tone.

"I hope you don't mind that Mark is here," she said quietly, glancing briefly at the group of men who just arrived. "He's one of Owen's groomsmen."

"No, not at all!" you replied, waving your hands briskly. "It's fine. It's your wedding. Don't worry about me."

"Are you sure? I mean, I know the breakup was awful but it means a lot to me and Owen to have both of you here with us."

You gave her an assuring smile and a pat on the shoulder. "I know. It's okay, really. This whole thing is about you and Owen. You don't have to worry about us."

"Y/N!" Owen called when he spotted you. You felt a little nervous, knowing your presence had been announced to the whole house and Mark now knows you're here too.

"Owen! Hi!" you greeted, masking your jitters with a jovial attitude. "How are you?"

"I've been great. I'm getting hitched!" he cheered, showing you the ring on Dianne's finger. "How are you? Thanks for coming. We really appreciate it."

"I'm fine. Thanks for having me."

There was sudden laughter by the doorway so the three of you glanced that way. You saw Mark for the first time in five years and he looked different. He aged up a little but he looks even more handsome now. His hair was shorter than what you remember and you figured he found a new style like you did, switching the delicate youthful vibe for a more mature style. Other than that, a girl is clinging to his arm that you don't recognize.

Dianne pulled you aside, far from anyone's earshot. "That's Tris, Owen's cousin. She's one of my bridesmaids."

"Yeah, we don't like her."

"Mandy!" Dianne scolded but Amanda just raised an eyebrow.

"What? It's true."

"They're not dating and she's just here for the wedding but I think she likes Mark. They've been hanging out ever since she got here a few days ago."

You laughed softly, holding her arm. "Thanks, Di, but I don't need to know what Mark's been up to. I'm sure he took good care of himself."

"Right. Sorry. I just had to tell you in case you assume he's dating her."

"Mark won't," Amanda smirked, giving Tris the side eye.

"You don't even know Mark that well."

"Yeah, but he's a nice guy. Guys like Mark don't date skanky spoiled brats."

"Mandy! Don't call people names!"

"Whatever, I don't like her."

You watched Amanda leave the room and escape upstairs, slightly amazed at how much she's grown. When you first met her, she was just twelve years old but she was already chatty. Now she's grown and resembled Dianne a lot but their attitudes are complete opposites. Mark's eyes fluttered over to your direction and he was quick to catch your gaze before you could even look away. He gave you a quick scan before returning to whatever they were talking about on their side of the room. You weren't expecting Mark to go all nice and chatty with you the moment you met again, but you hoped he'd be more civil than this. You were ready to do just that, so why is he being hostile?

Why else? You broke his heart dumbass.

You just shook your head and proceeded to join Amanda upstairs. She was nice enough to show you to your room and showed you around the house too so you could familiarize yourself while you were here. You never had to go back down for the rest of the day after Dianne told you to rest. It was past noon when you arrived and she was adamant that you take a break. You didn’t try to argue because you were pretty jetlagged.

In the morning, you went to a boutique for dress-fitting. The other bridesmaids were here before you so you were the only one left to get your measurements and have the dress adjusted. It was a nice velvety dress with a tiny strap that hugged your body’s figure most exquisitely. Dianne said it was Nadine’s input and everyone agreed that it looked elegant with the right amount of sexy.

“And skin,” Nadine added, running her fingers from your collarbone to your shoulder. She pointed to the slit that goes right up your mid-thigh. “And thigh too.”

“Yeah. I can see the thought process in this,” you ridiculed, although you did like the dress. You just had to point out Nadine’s inclination to revealing clothes.

You had brunch while catching up on a lot of things. You talked mostly about the wedding and how the whole proposal happened. After that, you had a few hours to yourself before Owen and the others came to pick you up for the rehearsals. You were excited to see Timmy again and to find out that he is the wedding planner for this.

“World-class event organizer, coming through,” he posed before strutting right in front of you. You just giggled, enjoying his little display.

“You’re a local event organizer, Timmy,” Stan teased when he approached your circle to stand next to you.

“The best there is!” Timmy insisted. “And it’s only for now.”

Rehearsals for the entourage began and you were visibly shocked when you were paired up with Mark. He seemed impassive about it at first but you saw just how much this affects it too the moment you started walking the aisle together. He wouldn’t let you hold him and you were fine with that but Timmy was frustrated.

“Come on, Mark. It’s just a walk. It’s forty-five seconds at best!” Timmy pleaded but Mark bristled.

“I don’t want anyone touching me, Timmy. How hard was that?”

“It’s fine, Timmy. I’m sure no one will notice,” you told Timmy who eventually gave up and let Mark have his way.

The practice continued with Mark still a bit apprehensive of you. Now that the arm hold is out of the way, he found another reason to show his disdain, missing the cue. After a few tries, Timmy decided to ignore it and proceeded with the practice.

“Mark is being unreasonable, seriously,” Timmy chided as the three of you were in his car on your way to grab something to eat.

“You can’t blame him. He hates my guts. Now he’s getting paired with me,” you defended and Nadine agreed.

“That much is still considered a display of patience, you know. If it happened to me, I’d freak.”

Timmy sighed. “Honey, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, okay? Dianne and Owen specifically asked for this. I’m just doing what I’m paid to do and what my friends asked of me.”

“And Mark’s not your friend?” Nadine taunted so Timmy shot her a glare.

“He is. But this wedding is not about him. Timmy peered at you in the backseat. “It’s not about the two of you.”

You know that, of course. That’s why you’re trying to be civil with him. He’s the one with the problem and you don’t blame him at all.

The car stopped in front of a diner which you eerily recognized. When you stepped out of the car, Timmy told you this was the diner you used to work at back in college. He said the owner had changed so did the name of the place. But everything inside except the paint was the same. From the interior to the furniture, everything reminded you of the time you used to wait tables and clean this place.

It was no surprise that you’d attend the local college right after high school. You tried to apply to other schools and although you met the grade requirements, your extra-curriculars did not. The university was in the downtown area of the city, several miles from your house. You remember the last time you went downtown; it was when you had just moved in with your aunt and she was still nice to you. She'd take you once a week for food or ice cream. But she stopped that a long time ago and you barely remembered what it looked like. For the last two years, you were back and forth from your house to your school; a public high school in the east side of the city. The downtown area may be unfamiliar to you but that didn't stop you from landing a job at a diner close to your local university. You went there for your first day of work and the manager greeted you happily. After a quick rundown of your tasks and the things you need to do, you begin immediately.

It was past 2am when a group of friends came into the diner. There were barely any customers except for a middle-aged guy drinking beer by the counter and watching late-night news. Tina, your coworker, was mopping the floor when the group arrived and one of the guys accidentally kicked the bucket, spilling water all over the floor.

"Shit, sorry!" he muttered, picking up the bucket and looking down at the mess he made with panic in his eyes.

"Damn it, Mark. Watch where you're going!"

That was the first time you met Mark. You were alerted by the commotion and peered over the counter to see what was going on. You saw him fumble with his apologies to your coworker who ended up telling him that it was her fault for putting the bucket right by the door.

Tina rounded back to the kitchen to grab something for the spilled mess. "This is not the meet-cute way I was expecting to meet Mark Lee."

"Mark Lee?" you repeated, glancing at her as she opened the cabinet of cleaning materials.

"The guy who spilled my bucket," she pouted, fake sobbing before going back

outside. “I had a crush on him in high school.”

You hadn't meant to but there was nothing else to do while you were wiping glasses dry so you observed his group. They came from a party, judging by the way some of them were groggy and others looked high. Mark wasn't. He seemed completely sober and less sweaty, laughing along with his friends. They ordered and since you were on dishwashing duty, you never had to interact with them.

You had four hours of sleep before the first day of university. Since you qualified for the scholarship, you were given a dorm and a 75% discount on your tuition. The conditions were pretty demanding, but it should be easy for you to meet. You were smart and finished high school at the top of your batch, so you were confident you'd keep the scholarship until you graduated. Even if you can't, you have to because struggling to keep your grades high is so much easier than going back to your aunt's house.

"Can I help you?" a senior approached you as you were looking around the busy school grounds. There won't be any actual class today since it's the first day. Clubs and student groups have set up booths for new students and transferees to sign up with them. There will also be a mini-concert later tonight and you found that out because of the huge banners they hung at the entrance about it.

"No, I'm good, thanks," you refused, giving him a small smile.

"Aren't you y/n?"

"Yes. How did you know me?"

He smiled and shook your hands. "I'm Spencer, the student body president. You aced the scholarship exam, everybody who cares about it knows who you are."

"Oh," you muttered, pulling your hands back when he wouldn't stop shaking them. Spencer seemed genuinely ecstatic about meeting you. He also seemed like the overly passionate, overachieving type of student.

"Sorry," he grinned. "Oh, if you're interested, would you like to sign up for the freshman representative elections?"

"Thanks, but I'll have to pass. I'm sure you'll find other suitable candidates." You turned to leave but he blocked your way.

"That's too bad, but if you change your mind, the student council office is right next to the Arts and Sciences building."

"Sure. I'll remember that. Excuse me," you walked past him in a hurry so he wouldn't block you again. As you did, a guy bumped into you so hard that you fell on your butt on the ground.

"Y/n!" Spencer helped you up. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, thanks," you muttered, patting your butt as you looked down at the other guy who bumped into you. He was on the ground too, struggling to get up and you assumed he had quite a fall.

"Mark!" one guy came running to help him. "Seriously, dude? Do you ever watch where you're going?"

Mark scoffed at him in disbelief. "How do you even know it was my fault?"

The other guy helped him up while you watched in recognition of the man. Mark Lee--the one Tina has a crush on.

"Because you're you, dumbass," the other guy chided. Mark looked at you, tilting his head and scratching his nape shyly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you. I was running away from someone," he explained before clenching his fist and showing it to the guy who helped him up. "Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"You guys need to watch where you're going!" Spencer went on to scold them while you took this chance to escape through the crowds.

You found yourself in the arts and sciences building, walking down the halls to find your classes. There won't be any today, but you just want to memorize the classrooms so you don't waste time looking for them tomorrow.

"Hey! I didn't catch your name," said someone who stopped you from walking by holding your elbow. You looked down at his hand on your skin so he let it go. "Sorry. I'm Mark, by the way."

"I don't see why this is necessary," you told him. You didn't mean to be unfriendly or anything. You really do think introductions were unnecessary between the two of you. The collision was an accident and you're pretty sure you won't be making friends with him while you're here. You are you, and Mark, well seemed to be on a completely different wavelength so there's no need to befriend him.

"Well, if I'm gonna be seeing you around, I think this is necessary," he smarted, smiling with his eyes focused on your face, not even blinking.

You told him your name, deciding once and for all that refusing is a waste of time. If you give him what he wants, he'll leave you alone.

"Nice to meet you," he offered his hand for a shake and you took it, shaking it once.

"Well then," you said before walking away.

"See you in class!" He called out but you never looked back.

You never thought about Mark again for the rest of the day. But he appeared at your workplace after midnight, peering over you at the counter.

"Can I help you?"

"What time do you get off work?" he asked straightforwardly, not even wasting time on small talk.

"None of your business. What can I get you?"

"There's a party at school. Why are you here?"

"Again, sir, it's none of your business. Is there anything you want to eat?"

"Can I pick you up after your shift?"

You exhaled sharply, looking around to see if anyone can substitute for you at the counter. Everyone's doing their thing so you have to deal with Mark by yourself.

"What are you doing in my workplace?"

Mark grinned, pleased to finally get something out of you. "Stalking you."

You raised an eyebrow at him so he laughed.

"No, not really. I'm not stalking you. I'm a regular here."

Your eyebrow remained raised along with the crossing of your arms.

He swallowed. "Can–can I get a cola with that burger?" he said, his voice breaking and he pointed at the menu on the wall.

You punched in his order on the register. "That will be 4.60."

Mark was persistent and patient. You came to know that after he continuously pursued you despite your indifference. He consistently went to your workplace. Sometimes he'd try his luck with a little flirting. Most times he'd just be there, quietly eating his food and taking too long to leave. At one point in the middle of the semester, he started studying there too. Another thing that worked in his favor was your classes. You're both Arts students, and you're both majoring in Arts History so you see him in most of your classes. He always shared your notes and asked you about assignments and stuff. He also tried to pair up with you each time you were given group work.

You mostly just went with the flow. You stopped getting bothered by it when you realized that your snide attitude wouldn't push him away. The attention you gave him was limited to what was required of you by your schoolwork. And you ignored his flirting and his random invitations for a date or coffee, even if he reduced the venue to the university food court. The one factor of his endless chase that you least expected was his friends.

"Yo, it's Mark's muse!" said Stan as soon as she walked into the diner.

Your ears twitched after being called that so you emphasized your name. "Welcome to our diner! My name is Y/n. What can I get for you?"

"Oh, so that's your name? It's cute, it suits you. I'm Stan." Stan beamed. He looked like a typical jock so you were expecting him to act like one but he seemed genuinely glad to know you.

"Yeah, I wonder why Mark always kept it to himself like some obsessed psycho," said the girl he was with. She smiled at you and offered her hand. "My name is Nadine. Nice to meet you, Y/n."

"Hi," you greeted timidly, returning her smile.

"Mark's crazy for you and I can see why," said the third guy whose every move, tone, and clothing tell you he's queer. "I'm Timmy. Not Tim, Timmy."

You found yourself surrounded by Mark and his circle of friends. They were nice and it surprised you because they looked like the typical rich kids from the west side of the city; snotty, bratty, and mean for no reason. But they were actually a good company that balances academics and social life perfectly. They are popular and smart and you felt a little bad for having prejudices against them. Although you liked to keep to yourself, you didn't discourage their presence. You let them join you at the food court when you're alone. You let them drag you to school events and even let them add you to their noisy group chatroom. It never occurred to you at the time that you were making friends, something you never saw yourself doing. You felt so accepted and free with them. And it was safe to say your feelings started growing towards Mark the moment his friends came into the picture because that was when you got to know him properly.

"Mark! Come on, man! You're just gonna walk down the aisle. Why do you keep messing up?" Timmy scolded for the nth time today.

"Sorry."

"What's wrong?" Dianne peered from outside the church.

"Mark keeps missing the timing," Amanda reported.

"Sorry, Di. Let's try again, Tims. I'll get it right this time."

"No. This time, y/n will hold you and you won't complain." Timmy linked your arms together and told everyone to go back out. It was the second day of rehearsals but Mark was still keeping the attitude. You were getting annoyed by it, but you chose not to intervene in case he lashed out at you. Not that you’d hate for that to happen, in fact, that would be better than making everyone walk on eggshells around the two of you.

On Timmy’s cue, the music started playing again. You huffed beside Mark, frustrated by the amount of time you had to go back from the top and hyper-aware of your linked arms.

"Stop it," you chided in a low voice.

Mark glared at you, but he kept his voice low. "Stop what?"

"Stop messing up! Why do you keep doing that?" you hissed and he scoffed.

"Because you're annoying, that's why," he spat, giving you a quick head-to-foot scan.

"Mark! In 3!" Spencer shouted and you both diverted your attention to him. You were dumbfounded but you didn't miss the cue and you both walked in together.

The practice ended after another hour and you all gathered back to Dianne's house for dinner. While everyone was busy with conversations, you couldn't help but notice the way Mark was glaring at you from across the table. He's not even hiding it anymore. At first, he just refused to interact with you but now he's downright showing everyone his disdain for you.

"Y/n!" Timmy cheered, walking to your seat to wrap his arms around you. "It's been so long, how have you been?"

"Yeah! You look great! Tell us what you've been up to in the last few years."

You chuckled timidly, embarrassed because of the sudden shower of attention. "I'm well, thanks. I’m a professor."

"She's an Art professor at NYU," Stan added.

"Really? Didn't you move to New York for NYU?"

"Yeah. I got lucky."

You glanced over at Mark who now have his eyes somewhere else.

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"What?" you blurted, surprised by the shift of topic.

"Boyfriend?"

You eyed Mark and found him still looking uninterested. "Well, I..."

"No, she's not. She hasn't dated anyone since she left the city."

Timmy scoffed at Stan. "Are you here as her representative? Why are you answering for her?"

"Because she's shy! And was I wrong, y/n? Didn't you say you haven't dated anyone since you and Mark—"

Stan was cut off when Nadine shoved a piece of bread in his mouth. "You're so skinny. You should eat some more!"

You saw Mark stand up and walk away, leaving the entire table in an awkward silence. Stan finally removed the bread from his mouth.

"Was that my fault?"

Everyone glared at him so he just flattened his lips and did a zipping gesture over his mouth.

It was Christmas when you started dating Mark. He took you to see a Christmas movie downtown but it was so boring so you just kept making funny remarks about it. You had been giggling and goofing around so much that you got kicked out of the cinema. You're not sorry though, it was an awful movie. But then you left your beanie inside the cinema and you tried to get it back only for the security guard to kick you out and threaten to call the cops on you.

"Ah, have I given you my Christmas gift yet?" Mark asked as he fitted his beanie on your head.

"You got me a Christmas gift?"

"Of course. That's the point of Christmas."

You narrowed your eyes at him. "I'm pretty sure it's Jesus' birthday."

"Maybe, but if you look further into history, you'll find that yuletide traditions were already around even before Jesus' time."

"Okay, smartass," you scoffed, tucking your hands in your jacket.

"You didn't know that? You would know that if you paid attention in class, y/n!"

You punched his chest. "Shut up. Don't use my lines on me."

Mark laughed, rubbing the part of his chest that you hit. "So, I have a gift."

"Okay, where is it?"

"Promise me you'll accept it?"

You flattened your lips. Mark has a tendency to go over the top with things and you're starting to worry that he might have bought you an expensive gift.

"It depends."

"On what?"

"On whether you spent hundreds on it."

Mark's eyes lit up. "Just 3 dollars and 42 hours."

Your brows creased. "Did you make me a Christmas sweater?"

"Yes. The ugliest one ever," he grinned before taking out a small box from the pocket of his jacket.

You found a diner to stop in and order food. Since it was Christmas, they gave you free eggnogs and candy canes.

"What are you waiting for? Open it!"

"Is it for me or for you?" you jeered.

"For you."

"Then I'll open it when I want to."

Mark whined. "Please open it? I want to see you open it."

You rolled your eyes at him as you were sipping on your drink. "Fine."

Taking the gift out, you carefully tore open the wrapping and opened the box next. You first thought it wasn't really a sweater since the box was too small, but you were surprised that it was in fact, a knitted sweater. A miniature one dangling on a keyring chain. It has a crooked letter M on the shirt that makes you grin.

"Did you make this?"

"I know it's ugly, but I made it with love. I even have mine here." He showed you his car keys which the sweater keyring is now holding. That sweater has your initial on it.

"But why is mine M?"

"M for Mark," he replied without missing a beat. You grimaced so he laughed. "You already accepted it. No backsies."

You shrugged and took out your own set of keys from your purse. You placed it on the table and fished your phone then started attaching the keyring in your phone case.

"Those are for the keys!"

"It's mine, I do what I want with it."

"Why your phone though?"

You smile after you're done with the task and let it dangle from your phone. "So that everyone will see it and ask why I have an ugly sweater as a phone accessory."

Mark laughed at that and you watched him for a while, taking in his features; the pretty curve of his eyes, his arched eyebrows, his supple skin, and the way his adorable set of teeth showed when he smiled. You stared and realized that he was the most breathtaking man you had ever met. Not because he's the most handsome or the most good-looking, but rather because he's the one person in this place that made you see the sliver of beauty that it possessed. He made you see that this place is not completely miserable. He made you realize that love can bloom even in a place where you never imagined it could survive.

"And when they do ask me that," you added after a while, making Mark pause to listen. "I'll tell them my boyfriend made it for me."

You saw how Mark's face went from goofy to surprised to delighted in a matter of seconds. He stood up from his seat across you and swiftly pulled you up for a hug. You hugged him back because you realized you were right all along, Mark doesn't only look warm, he is warm. His embrace, his breath, and the way he makes your heart feel. Mark is the warmth that you yearned for in your cold miserable world.

"Are you my girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"If I kiss you, will that be okay?"

"Yes."

And so, Mark did. He scooped your face and you never thought he could get any warmer than he already was but there he was, surprising you again.

"You think Mark's pissed?" Dianne asked worriedly when you saw each other at the breakfast table the next morning. She was asking you but you just shrugged. "He never came back last night," she added, as if you don't already know that.

"I'm sure he's fine. Probably just a little under the weather. I heard he had flu a few days ago and just got better," Amanda concluded but that didn't seem to convince Dianne.

"I'm sorry, y/n. We shouldn't have forced the two of you together. It was mainly my idea and Timmy just agreed because he said the thought behind it was beautiful."

"It's okay," you smiled, squeezing her hand affectionately. "Mark just has his issues right now. You know how he is; he won't let this ruin anything in the slightest."

"I hope so," Dianne sighed. "I'm starting to consider changing things up. I know it's about us but I also don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable during the whole thing."

Amanda tapped on your elbow so you glanced at her. "What did go wrong with you two?"

"Mandy!" Dianne chided but you just smiled at her, telling her it was alright.

Everything was well between you and Mark. He was a great boyfriend, just like you imagined he'd be. He was consistent and patient, and he never failed to show you his affection in plenty of ways.

He would offer to help you study, share his notes with you, and help you when you're struggling with any of your classes. He randomly took you to where there's good food and he also showed you beautiful places around the city. He was patient with you and never forced you into anything without your consent. You were just happy, utterly happy each time you were with him. In exchange, you gave him your time, your affection, and your undivided attention. You encouraged him when he was down and insecure. You encouraged his dreams and showed him that he is capable of doing anything as long as he puts his mind to it. Your relationship was a happy one, catering to each other with utmost care and living in the moment while reminding each other of your love.

Mark was content, you were happy. Your relationship had no problems. The problem was you. While Mark bore his whole entire being for you to see and love, you only shared your best side. You showed him your intelligence, your wit, your beauty, and your kindness. But you never showed him your frustrations, your struggles, your darkness, and your pain. You told him your dreams and aspirations but you never told him the things that motivated these dreams. While Mark showed you the good and the bad, you gave him the good and left it at that.

"Good for you! You finally found your way home!" your aunt said sarcastically when she opened the door for you.

"Are you drunk?" you asked despite not caring at all. You walked past her into your bedroom to take some of the stuff that you'd be needing for school.

"You look good. Is the university treating you well? I heard you earned a scholarship," she asked as she trailed behind you.

You opened your bedroom and saw the messy state it was in. It was clean when you left it but it looks like someone had been living in it.

"Did you go through my stuff?"

"Why would I do that? It's not like you leave anything valuable when you go out," she spat, leaning on the doorway.

You searched through your desk for your files and tucked them safely inside your bag. Then you remembered you needed a few clothing so you went through your closet.

"So how was school? Do they give you a stipend for your scholarship?" she pressed on and you couldn't help huffing when you recognized where the conversation was going.

"They don't. I get a 75% discount on tuition. I still need to pay for the remaining 25," you explained begrudgingly, groaning when you couldn't find the jacket you were looking for. You looked elsewhere and found it on the floor by the hamper. "Have you been wearing my clothes?" you asked but your aunt just shrugged.

"Why would I wear your clothes? They're too big for me."

"That's because you're so thin. I told you to eat properly. But look at you!" you chided, huffing again. "You've been drinking again! It's 9 in the morning! You told your rehab officer that you'd stop!"

Your aunt might have been cruel but she was still your mother's sister. You wanted to hate her to the point of abandoning her, but she looks so much like your mom that you can't even ignore her.

"Stop nagging me and just give me money for food! How will I eat when I have nothing for food?" she hollered back at you.

You decided to ignore her and put your dirty clothes back into the hamper. That was when you saw a few pieces of used condoms right by the basket.

"Gross. What's this?"

"Oh, that's not mine. It's Greg's."

You scowled. "Who's Greg?"

"The one renting your room."

Your jaw dropped. "You rented out my room?"

"You didn't come home and the room was vacant. We needed money because you haven't given us any for the past few months."

"Damn it, Auntie!" you complained, stomping on the floor.

You hurriedly grabbed your other stuff and found a bag to stash them in. Everything important, you stuffed in your luggage and brought it out of the room.

"Where are you going with all that?"

"I'm going back to the dorms. I'll be living there until I finish college anyway."

You dragged it all the way outside the house. Taking your purse out, you gave your aunt a few 20s and told her to stop drinking and buy some decent food. She didn't even thank you and proceeded to tell you that they had no running water because it had been cut off.

"Tell your asshole husband to work! I'm not your piggy bank!"

"What did you say about me?"

You spun when you heard your uncle's voice from behind you. He looked drunk already but he was carrying a bag of alcohol.

"You bitch, what were you saying about me?" he repeated, walking closer so you were face to face with him.

You glared at him, not even scared of his taunting. "I said you're an assho—"

You were cut off by a sudden pain in your shoulder, making you fall onto the ground. You didn't notice the empty bottle he was holding in his right hand that he used to hit you.

"You have the nerve to talk like that after I let you live in my house! You ungrateful bitch!" He raised his hand to hit you again but you kicked his shin. You stood up quickly and hit him with your purse. You hit his head and then his back and again and again until he was on the ground. Your aunt rushed to him so you stopped, kicking the bag of alcohol bottles and spitting on it before you walked away with your stuff. You are never going back there.

For years, he verbally and physically abused you, hitting you when you couldn't give him money and hitting you again when you talked back to him. You will never stop talking back to him, you have the right to do so after they bled you dry of your parents' money. They even went through your college fund and didn't leave a single penny for you. And when you started working, they continued to milk you for the money you earned through your hard work. You were the only one keeping that house running but each time you tried to make things work, they go back to their old ways. If it wasn't for you being a minor, you would have left a long time ago. Now you're a legal adult and you won't stand up for it anymore. Once you finish college, you will leave this place and never come back.

"Hi, you're y/n, right?"

You looked up at the pretty lady who approached you outside the library. "Yes. Can I help you?"

She smiled and offered her hand for a shake. "My name is Dianne. I was thinking of offering you a part time job, if you want it."

"What makes you think I need it?" Your response was a little harsh but Dianne understood that it may have sounded like she was looking down at your financial status.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. The library is hiring new junior librarians this semester. It's exclusive to scholars and it has a grade requirement. I was thinking of offering you a spot."

"Oh, I heard about it," you told her, warming up a little.

"Yeah. You see, no one applied yet. A handful did but they did not meet the grade requirement. It's a school foundation effort so having good grades is really important because you'll be getting paid for the job."

"I'll try it out."

"Great. You can apply inside," she said,

guiding you into the library.

You filled out a form and Dianne asked you to wait while they check your grades. The waiting didn't take long and she told you you got the job. You had no class left for the day and you have exactly five hours before your shift at the diner starts so you got started right away on a 4-hour library duty.

The work wasn't hard. You will need to sort books, handle returns, do an inventory every few weeks, and update the portal for every new book. So far it was only you and Dianne on the junior librarian team because as she mentioned, no one else applied for it. Dianne was a senior Linguistics student and she seemed nice.

"I've been a librarian since I was a freshman. My friends have been calling me one too. Sometimes they joke that I smell like books."

You chuckled quietly. She was chatting you up while she was showing you the stock room. That was when your phone started ringing.

"Who is it?" she asked inquisitively.

"My boyfriend," you replied, eyeing his name on the screen.

"Hmmh, good for you that you have a boyfriend. I think this library is the reason why I don't have one," she sighed, leaving you alone to answer the call.

You told Mark where you were and he said he'd be there soon so you finished up with the library work. When you came out, you found Mark in the lounge and he waved at you. This wasn't new because you always hung out with him at the library. But seeing your librarian vest made him laugh quietly. You told him to behave while you do your job. You've been tasked to put the returned books back on their shelves and Mark helped you push the cart.

"You're a librarian now?" he teased while you were looking for a specific shelf.

"I am."

"Why?"

"Because I am. It's my dream," you joked and he laughed so you shushed him.

"Sorry. How did this happen?"

"They were hiring junior librarians."

"And you signed up because your dream was to be one?"

"Yes. And I get paid to do it," you chimed.

"Sounds like a good deal,” he chuckled heartily, knowing you didn’t mean it.

You were halfway through the tall stack of books and didn't notice that you'd gone further into the back part of the library until Mark pulled you aside.

"Why? What's wrong?" you asked, thinking he was running from something. Mark looked around and peeked outside the corner you were hiding in before he smiled at you. You sighed upon realizing that he was trying to be alone with you. "Really? In the library?"

Mark shrugged. "Why? I'm sure we're not the only ones doing it."

"Yes, but right now, I'm a librarian. I should be discouraging this rather than doing it myself."

"Two minutes?" he pleaded.

"Mark," you threatened.

"One?"

"We have time later," you insisted but he pouted.

"Thirty seconds?" was his last bargain.

You huffed before you pulled the collar of his shirt and kissed him. He kissed you right back, holding your waist firmly and even closing his eyes. You might have done it begrudgingly, but you gotta admit how great it was to be kissing Mark. Still, you kept count of the time he bargained for, and right as he was starting to feel up your ass, you pushed him back.

"Your thirty seconds is up."

"Aw," he whined but you were already leaving the nook. He grabbed your shoulder and you winced in pain because he gripped the exact spot where your uncle had hit you. "Oh, shit, sorry! What happened?"

He was quick to push the sleeve of your shirt up and you couldn't even stop him. The bruise was dark and purple and his eyes almost popped out of their sockets at the sight of it.

"What the hell happened?" he hollered so you covered his mouth and shushed him, looking around the library for anyone you disturbed. You were at the farthest corner though so no one saw you.

"Just some accident at work," you lied through gritted teeth. "Be quiet!"

"You're so clumsy!" he chided softly, kissing the spot tenderly.

"Really? Coming from you?"

The next day, you arrived at the library and were welcomed by Mark Lee, the new junior librarian.

"No way. You're not a scholar. You don't even need the salary," you chided, grimacing at him.

"Well, his grades were good and they're consistent. The scholarship part was a big deal but since were short-staffed, the Head Librarian just agreed to take him in," Dianne explained. "Anyway, I already showed you how to sort these right? Get started on it. Mark, be a dear and help your girlfriend. Take these to the stock room."

You looked down the box of newly purchased books for the library and then to Mark who was smiling when he picked them up and loaded them one by one on the cart.

"Also, don't hook up there. I mean, no one will find out that you did but don't do it! It's unsanitary." Dianne teased so you shushed her.

"Dianne! Gross!"

She was giggling when you left for the stock room. Mark was walking snuggly close to you so you took a step away. But then he came close again so you just let him do it until you reached the stock room.

"Dianne is very nice," he commented while he opened the boxes.

"Yeah, and she's very pretty too."

"I can see that," Mark agreed.

"Right? That's why I was wondering why she's single."

"She's single?"

"She is. She says it's because she's a boring librarian, but I'm pretty sure I noticed a few guys checking her out yesterday. They're even pretending to read."

Mark chuckled. "I think it's because she's pretty intimidating."

"Pretty and intimidating, " you corrected and you both laughed.

"I know someone who likes her. And I was thinking of setting them up. Remember Owen? From the bookshop downtown."

"Yeah, he seems nice."

"What do you think?"

You shook your head, placing the books you've finished counting on a separate box, and then you walked towards Mark. "I think we shouldn't meddle with other people's business."

"I agree," he replied, lips curving into a smile when you didn't stop coming closer. You gave him a coy smile as you placed a hand on his abdomen, firmly pressing on the muscles beneath his shirt. Mark's breathing hitched but he steadied it again. "And I agree with that. Keep going. I will keep agreeing," he declared, nodding his head encouragingly.

You grabbed the tape dispenser from behind him and immediately moved back to your seat in front of the table.

"What will you keep agreeing on, Mark Lee?" you asked innocently as you pulled the tape out to close the box of books.

"Hey, no fair!"

You just laughed when he went behind you and hugged your sitting figure. He even stomped his feet in a tantrum.

"What? You're so naughty. We're literally in school."

He lifted his head from your neck and looked sideways at you. "How about when we're outside school?"

"I don't know. What do you mean by that question anyway?"

"Babe!" he whined again and you just laughed. "Stop teasing me! You're so mean!"

After putting the books in the records, you spent a few more minutes in the stock room making out with Mark to appease him. He didn't ask for anything much, content with what you were willing to give him. He was even grinning like a fool when you left the stock room.

The library became a special place for you and Mark, working together and goofing around. It was tiring sometimes but Mark was there and everything seemed to go well whenever he was around. That was what Mark has become in your life, someone you can lean on who doesn't attempt to pry for anything you're not willing to share. You know it was because he was oblivious to your inner demons, but you were glad to have a part of you that is not influenced by your pain. Sure, you realized somewhere along the way that you became an entirely different person when you're with Mark, but he doesn't know that and you decided to let it stay that way.

"Wow!" you all exclaimed when you arrived at the beach that was more than familiar to you. It had been decorated with a podium, a stage, and the surrounding structures. The only things missing are the flowers and the drapes which will be installed on the wedding day to avoid getting ruined.

"Look at this place!" You exclaimed. "It looks so much better now!"

The beach used to be nothing but a vacant space, with palm trees, wildflowers, and washed-over branches. Apparently, Owen bought it a year ago when the nearby hotel threatened to develop it into an extension of their building. He beautified it and built a beach house where they usually stayed during get-togethers. The beach remains open to the public, except this week for their wedding.

"Hey, isn't this your dating place?" Stan asked you and received a spank on the head courtesy of Timmy. "Ow! Hey!"

"Why would you bring that up?"

"I was just asking because I missed her," Stan defended and you just shook your head before following the girls into the house.

"What do you think?" Owen asked when you entered the house. You couldn't say anything other than gape at the wooden but modernized utilities around the house. It was spacious and you understood why Owen called it The Friends House because it really was big enough to house a large group of friends.

"It's beautiful, Owen. I don't know what to say."

"Yeah, you would have seen it before if you hadn't continuously bailed out on our invitations," Owen sulked, pouting at you. Dianne elbowed him and he groaned. "But you're here now! Welcome to the Friends House!"

"Thanks," you chimed. "It's great what you've done to the place."

"This place means a lot to Dianne and me, and it meant a lot to our crazy little squad so, other than the fact that it would be awful to tear the beach down, I also didn't want to lose its sentimental value."

You were about to say something when Mark arrived, making all heads turn to him.

"What?" he asked after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Mark! You came back!" Stan cried dramatically, running to Mark for a hug.

The others laughed while Dianne called you girls to assign rooms. You shared your room with Nadine and you didn't care enough to ask how the boys assigned theirs. You then went out with the girls for a spa and shopping treatment downtown. She called it her last day of freedom and later tonight, the bridal shower that you prepared with the bridesmaids will take place in the beach house. Dianne called dibs on it because your party was indoors. As for the boys, you had no idea what they were up to.

"So that beach," Tris began while the five of you were getting your nails done. "I heard Mark discovered it?"

"Mark and y/n," Nadine corrected.

"Yeah, Mark," Tris repeated, turning to Nadine. "How exactly did he find such a beautiful place?"

You saw how Nadine grinned devilishly. "By taking y/n on romantic dates around the city."

Tris frowned at her and leaned back on her seat with a ‘hmph’.

Mark liked driving around the city. In the first few months of your relationship, you thought you'd seen everything there is to see but he surprised you again by taking you to the coast. You knew there's a coastline here but you've never been there before. It was lined by resorts and hotels but in a secluded spot westward is a hidden gem that he proudly boasted to you like he's the one who discovered it. Of course, it's been there ever since but it was too far to be considered a go-to place for anyone who wants to go to the beach. It was untouched and beautiful and you did plenty of picnics there, watching the sunset together.

He took you there to celebrate anything. He took you there when you needed comfort or when he needed a break. He took you there for no reason, especially when you both want to go out but can't think of a specific place to go. Most days, you would stay until after the sun has completely set, tangled in each other in a liplock. It was your own little secret until it wasn't anymore.

"I'm hungry," Mark complained, lying on your lap under the shade.

You snorted. "We literally just ate everything in our basket."

"Yeah, but I'm still hungry. I don't know why," he replied, sitting up and looking around. "Should we try fishing?"

"You'll need a boat for that and a fishing line."

"Foraging? Seashells wash up here all the time."

"You'll need to cook it."

"There is some seafood you can eat raw," he insisted and you shrugged.

"Yeah, but I think you'll need at least some salt or something."

He looked at you and stared for a while, his eyes moving from your lips to your eyes and back again.

"What?" you asked when he didn't say anything.

"I know what I want to eat," he said seriously, moving towards you.

You scoffed and met him halfway, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. "There. Satisfied?"

"No," he replied, still inching closer so you leaned back. "It was a bit bland, chef. I think I need to taste it again."

You giggled still leaning back. When you couldn't hold yourself up anymore, you held onto his neck, but that caused you to accidentally pull him close and fall on your back down the picnic mat. He moved painfully slow towards your lips and kissed you equally as slowly. When he wouldn't kiss you properly, you realized he was teasing you so you bit his lip.

"Ow!" he muttered, laughing at your annoyed expression. "What? I was trying to taste it properly."

You pulled him by the collar and kissed him. Mark stopped playing around then, kissing you properly in the same delirious way you liked it to be. He bit your lip, prompting you to open your mouth and when you did, his tongue slid expertly inside. Four months of dating had you become an expert in kissing each other.

He has memorized your lips, your pattern, and your timings. He kissed you like he studied how to and you have no complaints because the last time you kissed someone has long been lost from your memory. Mark was the best and only kiss you've ever known.

"Mark," you breathed when you parted for a moment. He didn't reply and just dived in to kiss you again. It seemed like he wouldn't be listening to you, focusing too much on your lips, so you gathered your strength to sit up. He fell off on you and looked at you worriedly because of your sudden movement.

"Sorry, was that too much?"

"No." You pushed his chest so he was lying down and straddled his hips. Mark looked up at you in surprise.

"Y/n..." he muttered, hands falling on your waist.

"You're not listening to me," you complained before kissing him.

Mark was dragged into the vice of your lips again, one hand firmly holding your back while the other rested on your waist. Lust has begun to overcome you, grinding ever so slightly on his hard-on. That made Mark pull away and stare at you.

"What are you doing?"

You buried your face on his chest, too shy to show him how horny he has made you in the last few minutes.

"Babe, you don't have to if you don't want to," he whispered, kissing your head and patting your back.

"I want to," you mumbled but he didn't seem to hear. You lifted your head and looked straight into his eyes. "I want to, Mark. I want you."

Mark claimed your lips then and you were back to making out. His hand that once sat innocently on your waist has slid under your sundress, caressing and squeezing your inner thigh. His kisses left your lips to travel the length of your neck, sucking and kissing the supple skin. He sat up to better access your chest, pulling down the sleeves of your dress to reveal your bosoms.

"Oh, baby, look at you," he blurted as he took a good look at your chest before burying his face between them and taking a huge sniff of your skin. "You're so beautiful."

"Mark," you called out, pulling his head away before dragging your bra down. Mark wasted no time and sucked on your nipple, massaging the other one. The moan that escaped your mouth was euphoric, making you grind on his erection even faster. He kept switching between your boobs, all the while encouraging you to keep grinding by helping you move your waist.

"Oh my gosh," you screamed out, feeling your pussy clench with pleasure. Mark flipped you over, taking his shirt off before kissing your lips. When he pulled away, he gave you a smirk that almost made you gasp. Mark had always been handsome but right now, he looked so sexy to you and you knew it was the lust in your head that's making you say so.

He lifted your dress up to your waist and panic overcame you, making you close your legs. Mark just gave you an encouraging smile and squeezed your knee.

"It's okay. We can stop here today," he said softly.

"No, it's not that." You looked away, embarrassed to say the next words. "I've never done this before."

Mark appeared clueless for a second. "Sorry, what?"

You huffed and pushed yourself in a sitting position and wrapped your knees in your arms. "Nevermind. Let's just go if you're not interested."

Mark just laughed and pulled you into a hug. "Hey, that's not what I mean. Come on." He laid you back down, kissing you softly before looking into your eyes. "Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Yeah."

"It might hurt."

"Yeah, it's okay."

"Really?"

"Yes, Mark! Are we gonna do this or not?"

Mark chuckled, kissing your forehead. "We are. I'm just checking to be sure."

"Fine." You were frowning but you just can't wait for Mark to pick up where you left off. You made out some more, building the heat back up from where it was abruptly halted. Mark began by touching your pussy, feeling up your wetness, and massaging it over your underwear. He pulled away from the kiss and caressed your cheek.

"Alright. Don't worry, okay? I got you," he said, leaving your side to position between your legs. He stripped you off your underwear and looked down at your pussy, then back at you with a smirk. But just as he was about to go down on you, you heard faint laughter from a distance that made you sit up instantly.

"Did you hear that?" you asked and Mark shushed you so he could listen properly.

"Mark?!" called a loud voice from far away. You gasped, taking your underwear and slipping it back on.

"Mark Lee?!" the voice called again, nearer this time.

"Shit, it's Stan!" Mark blurted and you immediately tossed his shirt back to him.

Mark wore it and stood in complete panic so you made him sit next to you on the mat and you both watched the yellow sky like nothing happened.

"Mark?" Stan called, his head peeking through the bushes. "Ah, there they are. I told you Mark is here!"

You glanced back at them, feigning indifference. Mark was even able to act annoyed.

"Yo, guys, what are you doing here?" he asked as Nadine and Timmy followed right behind Stan. "How did you find this place?"

"We were driving around when we saw your car on the side of the road," Timmy explained, looking around. "This place is beautiful. What is this place?"

"Mark found it," you replied, looking at Mark.

"Wow, and you've been keeping this from us? Like, really?" Nadine accused while looking around in amazement as well. "This place is literally paradise."

"It's an undeveloped part of the beachline, Nad. Don't be dramatic," Timmy chuckled. "But you're right. A few tweaks, some flowers and fruit trees, and this place will be paradise."

"Food!" Stan exclaimed, running to the basket you had with you. You just laughed knowing there's nothing in there.

Nadine was the first to call it Friends Beach, mainly because she was obsessed with Friends at the time but also because you didn't know what to call it when you made plans to go there. You cleaned the beach all the time, making sure no one would trash it and Timmy even went on to bring fruit trees and orchids that he attached to the huge tree at the center of the area. You kept it to yourselves, declaring it a private space just for friends. But your friend group soon welcomed two more people in it after a successful blind date mission.

"Mark! Guess what?!" you exclaimed at Mark when he visited you at the diner one day.

"What?"

"You said Owen likes Dianne?"

"Yeah. He said the pretty senior at the university library. Why?"

"How did they meet?"

Mark leaned on the table and thought for a while. "I'm not sure but he said he first saw her when she was delivering books to the library a few months ago. Why?"

You gasped. "Oh my god, I knew it. Listen, Dianne said she met this really nice guy a few months ago and fell in love with him but she heard he has a wife, so she reduced it to a crush. But she always passed by his bookshop every day to see him."

"Bookshop? You mean she likes Owen too?"

"Yes. Other than old man Luciano, the only one with a bookshop downtown is Owen."

Mark was also shocked by your revelation. "But wait, did she say he has a wife?"

"Yes."

"Owen doesn't have a wife."

"Oh, so why did she say that?"

"I don't know. But he's single, for sure. I know because we're close. Although he does hook up sometimes, he's very single."

You nodded at this and gave Mark a big grin. "You know how I said we shouldn't meddle with other people's business?"

"Yeah."

"I take that back. Let's set them up!"

And so, you spent a week planning an elaborate blind date for Owen and Dianne with the help of your other friends. By the weekend, you went home feeling proud that the date took place and then you braced yourselves for the results. Setting it up was the easy part, the hard part was whether they'd click or not. And that's also the part you can't do anything about.

"How was it?" Mark secretly asked when you saw each other at the library on Monday after the weekend date.

"I don't know. I just got here too. I haven't seen her yet."

"Mark, y/n?"

You both jolted when you heard Dianne speak behind you. She sounded stern and looked even more so when you saw her face. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was tapping her foot on the floor impatiently.

"Dianne! Hi!" Mark greeted jovially, laughing awkwardly right after.

"I know what you guys did," she said without missing a beat and you felt your heart sink. Mark almost knelt on the floor if you hadn't stopped him.

"Dianne, I'm sorry. It was my idea," you blurted but she remained unfazed so you swallowed.

"THANK YOU!" She cheered loudly before hugging the two of you, even shaking your arms in excitement.

"Silence in the library!" The head librarian shouted and the three of you ducked and then ran to the nearest bookshelf to hide.

Dianne and Owen became a constant in your friend group in no time. You hung out often and even turned Owen's bookshop into a mini café where he'd make coffee for you each time you went there. Dianne was definitely older than you and your friends so she mostly acted like the mom of the group, scolding those who were skipping study time and giving out study materials during exams week. Owen just bought you food each time one of you complains of hunger. Your bond grew closer through time until you left and decided to never come back.

You used to belong with these people, a friend and a special part of their lives. Maybe you still are right now, but in your heart, you know you don't deserve to be at the receiving end of their love anymore. You used to love this group, but now you hate them. Not the kind of hate that makes you want to punch them in the face or cut them off, but the kind that makes you hate yourself. Simply put, you hate them because you hate yourself. Why? Mark. He was the reason you became friends with them and after doing such an awful thing to him, you felt undeserving of this whole squad. If anything, you wish they'd hate you but Mark would never let that happen. Whatever happened between you, it seems like he kept it to himself. Because if he did tell anyone, you know they'd hate your guts.

"Are you ready Di?" Timmy asked as he pushed a cart with the cake on it. You all wanted to laugh looking at the dick-shaped fondant adorning the cake, but you stopped yourselves.

The Friends’ House is now filled with girls involved in Dianne's wedding, friends, relatives, and other ladies who were invited to the Bridal Shower.

"Welcome to your last night of maidenhood!" Timmy announced, and Amanda lifted the blindfold off of Dianne's head on cue. You all started cheering when she grabbed the dick cake and bit off its head. Some cameras were filming her as she did this. The party went on with loud music blasting from speakers, champagne showers, lots of dancing, and more alcohol.

By 11pm, the house was reduced into a crowded mess of drunken women, wet with both sweat and champagne and lying down on whatever solid space they could find.

"We're old," Dianne muttered while you lay on the wooden floor with her and the others. "We can't even last until midnight. That's just another hour from now."

You giggled; head clouded with alcohol. You had just started coming down from the high of the party and the sugar rush of sweet pastries.

"No, you're old. I'm just partying with the wrong crowd," Nadine corrected, rolling on her side so she could hug you. "I wonder what the boys are up to."

"Probably falling asleep like we are," Dianne laughed. "Drunk and wasted at 11pm."

"You guys are wasted. Not me," you snorted as you forced yourself to stand up, squinting so your eyes would focus on the figure you were seeing at the doorway. You recognized Mark and immediately perked up.

"Oh, it's my Mark," you grinned, standing up groggily to go to him. You staggered a few times, but you regained your balance, telling no one that you were okay. "No, seriously guys. I'm okay!"

"Oh god, what is she doing?" Nadine asked, watching you walk towards the man and wrap your arms around his neck.

"You're a handsome young man," you told him, losing your balance on your high heels but he caught your arm and you just giggled. "Sorry. You look like this guy I used to know."

"Get your shit together, y/n," he chided through gritted teeth.

"Sounds like something he'd say if he sees me like this," you replied, giggling.

"You're drunk. Go get some rest."

You straightened up but you didn't take your arms off of him. "Oh, I'm not drunk but they are!" You pointed to the others and started laughing at them.

Nadine groaned and lay back down. "Ugh, she's gonna regret this."

"Can I kiss you?"

Mark was taken aback but he just frowned slightly. "Why would you do that? Do you know me?"

"You're Mark Lee," you giggled and then scowled. "Or are you? I think you are."

"Why would you kiss me if you know I'm Mark Lee?"

You looked away for a second to think. "I don't know." You glanced back at him and let go of his neck. "You know what, you're right. I can't just kiss you because you look like Mark."

You were about to walk away but he pulled you back to his chest. "I didn't say you can't."

Your whole face lit up, eyebrows rising when you said, "I can?"

"Why don't you try and see?"

You giggled as you wrapped your arms back around his neck and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Mark stayed still, holding your waist firmly because you weren't standing properly on your heels. You pulled away after a few seconds of just pressing your lips on his. The grin on your face was satisfied but also drunk.

"Now what?"

You shook your head. "My Mark is a better kisser," you said before burying your face in his chest and taking a deep breath.

You stayed like that for a few seconds before a stomping sound was heard on the wooden floors and someone pulled you by the shoulder.

"Hmm?" you inquired before a slap landed on your face. Mark quickly wrapped you in his embrace, shielding you from a drunk and angered Tris.

"Slut!" she hissed before attempting to attack you again but Mark pulled you away from her. He shot Tris a cold glare before dragging you out of the house.

The men outside were still drinking in front of the bonfire when Mark carried you out. Owen called him but he was rushing you out of anyone's eyes and ears. Your hands fell limply on your side while Mark was carrying you, the other was stroking your stinging cheek.

"You okay?" he asked with a grunt, heaving you up. You were a little heavier than he expected.

You smiled brightly, eyes half-lidded as sleepiness started to get to you. "Yes! My cheek kind of hurts though."

"Yeah, someone slapped you."

"I know, silly. I saw it," you laughed and Mark sighed in exasperation, stopping for a while to glare at you.

"Stop smiling. That wasn't funny at all."

You shook your head and then pointed to him. "I know. What's funny is you. You have two heads." You started laughing, throwing your head back and kicking your legs and Mark almost lost his balance.

"For fuck's sake, y/n." He knelt and dropped you on the sand, making you land on your butt. You complained, rubbing your ass slowly over your satin dress.

"You're mean," you muttered, laying your head on the nearby rock before closing your eyes. "I hate you."

"You do? Good because I hate you too."

You didn't hear that anymore because you drifted to sleep quickly, your breath steadying. Mark tsked, pocketing his hands as he looked down at you on the sand.

"Get up. Go sleep in your room." But you didn't move and it was stupid to tell you to sleep in your room because he already brought you far from the house, far from everyone; here in the cove that you both know so well. The cove that became your own personal hideout. "Come on."

Mark knelt on the sand and picked you up, patting away the sand on your skin and hair. Then he took off his jacket and placed it on the ground. He laid you there and let your head rest on his lap while he rested his back on the big boulder behind him. He stayed like that, convinced you'd wake up soon enough and you could walk back to the house by yourself.

And you did. You woke up with a mild headache and a stiff neck. It was dark and the only light was coming from Mark's phone's flashlight. You sat up and saw Mark sleeping with his back on the rock. You were confused for a second but memories started flooding back to you, making you shake your head in shame. You stood up, picking up his jacket to cover him with it. Then you started to slowly sneak away.

"Where are you going?" he called, making you stop dead in your tracks.

"Nowhere," you replied, sitting right next to him in an instant. "I was just looking around."

"Good. Don't leave," he ordered with his eyes still closed before leaning his head on your shoulder.

You looked around you and recognized the cove you used to hide in after the beach became Friends Beach. It was a bit further into the sparse woods but it was difficult to find. You remembered stumbling upon this area by accident and it has since become your hideout. It wasn't even an actual cove, just a small open space hidden behind tall trees. The lower part of the cliff had been weathered and continuously struck by the waves, making it look like a small cave. Mark has tried to go there before only to find shallow solid rock curvature, no actual cave.

The first time you had sex with Mark was by this cove. He had been trying his luck with fishing but he never caught a single one so he was sulking on the mat. You comforted him by saying you'd buy him sushi but one thing led to another and you were suddenly making out. Mark had been gentle with you, prepping you for himself and making sure you were comfortable. He kept comforting you the whole time, asking if you were fine and if he should stop. And even when you finally got over the painful part, he maintained his gentleness while keeping you satisfied. Ever since that day, sex with Mark became your favorite thing.

Your rendezvous were mostly innocent, by the cove, at his house, and in a hotel. He tried several times to sneak into your dorm but the security was too tight. That was around the same time you started going to parties with them and more often than not, you'd end up having sex in his car after too much alcohol and dancing. Mark was good with anything and he was especially good with sex.

"Why are we here on a weekend?" you asked as you entered Mark's house.

"Because we don't have anything fun to do," he replied, holding your hand as you climbed the stairs.

Mark's house is huge, situated in the suburban area of the city. His family is wealthy, as you've observed but you only met his mother a handful of times because they are never around much. The moment you found out that he was rich, you started to feel small about yourself. He lives in an entirely different world while you struggle to make ends meet. Your love for him was the only thing keeping you from leaving.

"What about fishing? Have you given up on it?"

Mark shrugged. "I can practice next time. For now, I want to lounge around and just do nothing with you."

You rolled your eyes as you stepped into his room. "There is no way you're just doing nothing with me, Mark."

He grinned as he closed the door, then stepped towards you to kiss you. "I'm glad you know that."

You scoffed before he kissed you, pulling you close so your bodies were touching. Mark guided you to the bed, your lips still locked together. But as soon as he sat you down, someone started knocking on his door. You both pulled away and he whined as he went to open his door.

"Mom," he asked, a bit surprised. "I thought you were leaving today."

"We had to come back for something," she replied, peering into the room where you sat on his bed. She smiled at you so you returned it. "Why don't you help your Dad find some files in the study? It's very important and he's saying he put them on the top shelves. None of us can reach it."

"Sure." He turned to you and smiled. "I'll be right back."

When Mark left, his mother came into the room and sat next to you on the edge of the bed.

"How are you, y/n? Is Mark treating you well?"

"I'm fine, Ma'am. Mark is very kind to me."

"Good. As he should," she chimed, reaching for your hand and holding it in her lap. "Anything planned after college?"

"A few things, but nothing is set yet. I'm still trying to figure things out," you replied politely.

She nodded at that and then sighed. "I want the best for my son, y/n. And I want him to be happy more than anything else. If you can bring out the best in him while also making him happy, I will be grateful to you until the day I die."

You smiled at her, squeezing her hand as a form of gratitude for her entrusting Mark to you. "I'll try my best, ma'am."

"Thank you." She chuckled heartily. "I may be absent now that he's grown, but I spent most of my life raising that boy. I'm sure he won't ever hurt you. Mark never hurts those he loves."

His mother was right. Mark never hurts those he loves. But you weren't Mark. You're cursed to hurt those you love and ruin them beyond repair.

“Congratulations, Dianne!” Nadine sobbed, hugging Dianne on her seat in front of the mirror.

Dianne just laughed, stroking Nadine's arms affectionately. “Thanks, but I'm not even married yet.”

“You might as well be. You look so ready to walk that aisle already.”

You sighed as you stepped out of the bathroom in your bridesmaid dress. “Oh god, Nadine. She just put makeup on. What would you do when she's in her wedding dress already?”

“I would literally drop dead,” Nadine claimed, carefully wiping her tears so she didn't smudge her makeup.

Dianne shook her head as she walked to the dress with the hired stylist. “No, don't drop dead. We're already one bridesmaid short. We can't afford to lose another one on the day of the wedding.”

“One bridesmaid short? Why what happened? Who's missing?” you questioned and everyone in the room looked at you in confusion. You saw that the only one missing was Tris and was about to ask when Amanda explained.

“We kicked the bitch out.”

“Why?”

Dianne scowled at you. “What do you mean why? Don't you remember getting slapped last night or did that take a toll on your memory?”

“Tris slapped me?”

“You don't remember? Did also forget clinging to your ex and calling him your Mark?”

You flattened your lips together in shame. “I remember that bit.” You were actually so preoccupied with Mark that you don't remember anything else from last night except him.

“Good. Tris attacked you because of that.” Nadine was seething. One moment she was crying about Dianne, now she's so angry that her brows are knitted. “She's lucky it didn't leave a bruise because I'd bury her alive.”

“So, she won't be here today?”

“No. Not ever. She already caused too much trouble with her picky attitude during the wedding preparations. She's not even related to me in any way other than the fact that she's Owen's cousin. I won't tolerate her trampling on the people I care about,” Dianne ranted while she was being dressed.

Nadine comforted her. “Forget her, Di. Don't let some wannabe socialite ruin your mood on your big day.”

Dianne took a deep breath and calmed down. “Thanks, Nad. Oh, by the way, where did Mark take you last night? I don't remember you coming back here.”

“Just someplace near here. We fell asleep and woke up at around 3. That's when I came back.”

“Did you hook up with him?” Amanda asked in surprise so you denied it.

“No! God no. We really just slept. I was drunk and it seems like he was too. Mark would never hook up with me, Mandy.”

“How would we know that when you won't even spare us the details of your breakup.”

You huffed and finished fixing your hair. “This is your wedding day, Dianne. Let's not ruin it with useless accounts of the past.”

“She's right. Let's live in the now.” Nadine started sobbing again when Dianne was done dressing up. “Dianne! I'm so happy for you!”

The sky was clear when you stepped out of the House. Three white cars were waiting for you and you each got into your assigned vehicle, wishing Dianne good luck before heading to the church. The entourage was waiting. The entrance and the ceremony began as soon as Dianne's car rolled in. You found Mark in his place and you rushed over to him, noticing how he offered his arm for you to hold on to as you practiced and even sparing you a small smile before looking ahead. After receiving nothing but a cold shoulder all week, this small gesture of acknowledgment sure made you happy.

“I don't hate you,” he had told you the night before while you two were sitting in the dark by the cove. “I'm just upset, that's all.”

You didn't have a reply to that and you were grateful that he didn't ask for any. It did make things less tense between you. You both were even smiling at everyone as you walked down the aisle together before parting to sit where you were assigned to. The ceremony wasn't slow but it wasn't fast either. As soon as Dianne walked in through the huge church doors, all eyes turned to her and few gasps of amazement were heard. As she drew nearer, you saw Owen wipe a few tears and that made your heart swell with emotions. You realized that even though you believed you hated everyone here, you wouldn't have wanted to miss this important day.

Vows were exchanged and they kissed in front of their loved ones to formally announce their marriage. Pictures were taken too and as soon as you went back to the Friends House, the commissioned photographer had you take a whole hour of pictorial by the beach. You had fun with all of them, the laughter and chatter had you feeling like you got transported back to your college days when you were the happiest.

It was past 9pm when Owen and Dianne left for their honeymoon. The party was swell as they had intended and it didn't end even after they were gone. There aren’t that many people now, just a couple of younger ones who can handle partying until late at night. Stan has turned the entire thing into a frat party and was by the wine table downing the makeshift keg he had set up with a few other guys. The girls were still dancing around to the music but you were getting bored and tired after Nadine slipped away with some guy. Amanda was flirting with someone on the newlywed's chair. You thought about going back to your room but you were assuming that it was where Nadine took her hook up so you decided against it. That was when you decided to go to the cove.

It was dark and it was supposed to be scary out there but you didn't think that at all. You had your phone out, using it as a flashlight as you ventured through the trees. You even took your shoes off when it proved difficult to walk in them on the sand. And as you reached the small open space, you let out a sigh of relief. You were just about to sit in your usual spot when you heard the rustle of leaves behind you which put you on high alert. But then the intruder came out and you saw that it was Mark.

“Mark?”

“Hey,” he greeted nonchalantly, walking past you to sit on the sand by the boulder.

You stood there awkwardly until he noticed you and tapped the space beside him as an invitation for you to sit. “Did you come here to just stand there?”

“Did you follow me here?”

“So, what if I did? The space is not exclusive to you, is it?”

You sighed, rolling your eyes before sitting in the space next to him. When you glanced at him, you caught a whiff of alcohol and frowned.

“Are you drunk?”

“Aren't you? It's a party,” he smarted.

Of course, you're not. You even avoided the sight of alcohol after your embarrassing stint last night.

“You don't seem drunk,” you observed so he glanced at you, your faces were about half a foot in distance.

“That's because I'm not,” he smirked. “I had a few bottles. Not enough to have me clinging on my ex.”

“Mark Lee!” You slapped his knee, frowning at him for reminding you of that. Mark just laughed, content to get a rise out of you.

“Seeing me after five years didn't even affect you one bit but you're getting mad about that?” He smirked. “Good. At least I got a reaction out of you.”

“What?”

He huffed and clenched his jaw, looking away in the direction of the sea. You had long turned off your flashlight but the moon was shining high above so your surroundings were still visible. You can even see the slight changes in Mark's expressions, including the pained look on his face that he tried to hide with a frown.

“I'm sorry,” you mumbled, taking your eyes off his face.

“No, you're not.”

“Really, I am,” you insisted. “I realized a long time ago how messed up that was. I shouldn't have done that to you.”

“A long time ago?” he asked so you nodded without looking at him. “Then why didn't you come back?”

“I couldn't, Mark. Not when I already had enough guts to leave.”

“That wasn't fair, y/n.”

You glanced at him and saw that he had been looking at you the whole time. You were hesitating to continue the conversation and deep in your mind, you were wondering how you both ended up talking about this, only to realize you brought it up first. “I know that, Mark. I just...” You gave up trying to explain and just huffed.

“What? You're not even gonna explain yourself? After all these years you'd still shut me out? Don't I deserve to know how I ended up getting hurt when all I ever did was love you?”

You folded your legs together and buried your face in your palms, the surge of emotions coming onto you like a freight train. The pain and guilt that you buried deep in your memory for years is now screaming right at your face as if instead of dying, it grew roots and branches and leaves.

“Why did you do that?”

Yeah, why did you?

You were huffing as you rushed out of the taxi cab and ran straight in the direction of that hell-hole of a house. As soon as you reached the door, you pounded on it nonstop, demanding your aunt to come out and talk to you. It opened soon after, revealing an intoxicated man.

“What are you doing here, you ungrateful bitch?” your uncle spat but you brushed past him into the living room.

Your aunt was laughing in front of the television, a cigarette in her hand and a few bottles of alcohol on the coffee table.

“Did you do it?”

She didn't even look at you. “Do what? Be specific when you're asking questions.”

“My salary from the diner. Did you cash it out?”

She appeared to think. “Oh, the diner? Yeah. Yes, I did. Just a few months’ worth. We're behind on the water bill you see.” She pointed at the stack of mail on top of the cabinet by the doorway.

You grabbed them and saw several pieces of mail from the water provider. You took a deep breath to calm down but your voice still cracked. “Why would you do that?”

“I told you. We needed money for the water.”

“But that was for my tuition.”

“It's okay, I'll pay you back.”

“Aunt, you never pay me back! You always say you do, but you never ever paid me back!” you hollered at her, now straight-up crying.

Your uncle rounded the living room and hit the back of your head. “Keep your voice down in my house!”

You watched as he sat next to your aunt on the couch and took a bottle of beer. You were still crying and they didn't even seem to care one bit.

“Auntie, please,” you pleaded. “An advance of three months? What else would I be getting from that? I need to pay for school. I need to feed myself too!”

For the first time since you arrived, your aunt looked at you with disdain. “And are we supposed to just live without a water supply? What's gonna happen to us? The house is gonna reek!”

“It already reeks even with running water!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, shaking in anger.

“Why are you screaming so early?” your uncle threw a bottle at you that barely missed your head.

You froze with your eyes widened in shock, horrified that you had almost been hit right in the face. Sadness suddenly left you, leaving a burning rage in your heart. You felt like you would convulse as rage rose to your head. Your eyes were bulging and the sight of them looking unconcerned is making your heart explode. You crumpled the pieces of mail in your hand and lunged at the table to flip it over. You grabbed the baseball bat from its fixture on the wall and started hitting the alcohol bottles, breaking them to pieces while your aunt and uncle screamed in terror and bewilderment at your actions. As soon as you had your fill of violence, you stood up in the middle of the living room, huffing contentedly before dropping the bat.

“Y/n! What are you doing? You almost gave me a heart attack!” Your aunt chided and you're now convinced she's too drunk to make sense of what was actually happening.

“You can both drop dead. I don't care.”

You left the house feeling like shit. It reeked so much there that you had to smell yourself to make sure it didn't stick on you. You spat on the ground, disgusted when you think about how you managed to live in that place for a long time. Your eyes were still wet with tears when you noticed the crumpled mail in your hand. You stopped walking to look at it, recognizing the crest of a university you applied to a year ago, at the beginning of your freshman year in college. It was addressed to you and you opened it to read the contents. Your mind focused on the large letters right below the long introductory line and covered your mouth in surprise.

“We are pleased to inform you that your application had been approved!”

You sat on your heels, weeping in utter happiness after what you've just read. You immediately fished out your phone and dialed the number on the letter, afraid to waste another moment, especially after finding out that the letter had been mailed to you over five months ago. You talked to the woman on the phone who seemed delighted to hear from you.

“Yeah, I lost it in my stack of mail because I recently changed my address. I was wondering if the offer still stands?”

“Of course! We only welcome freshmen applicants who passed but for those who received an offer, we are inclined to accept sophomores too.”

You were sure the woman on the other line could hear you crying as you thanked her. She hung up after a polite goodbye and a promise to see you in New York by the start of the fall semester. You wiped your tears and composed yourself as you continued walking. But as soon as you walked out of the house's unkempt picket fence, you saw Mark come out of a corner.

“Babe!” he grinned when he spotted you. “There you are! I was looking for you!”

You felt nervous all of a sudden, wondering why he was there and how he knew you'd be in this part of the city.

“Mark—” You couldn't even finish your speech when the voice of your screaming uncle made you glance back to the house. He was angrily calling your name, waving a baseball bat in the air as he screamed that you're a wicked bitch for making a mess in his house. You grabbed Mark by the hand and pulled him out of there, not stopping until you reached the highway.

“What's going on? Who was that?”

“No one,” you panted, holding onto your knees as you caught your breath. “That's no one.”

“He called you a bitch. What's going on baby? Do you know that man?” He helped you up and lifted your chin so you were looking at him. As soon as he saw your tear-stained face, he pulled you into a tight hug. “Hey? What's wrong? What happened? I'm here, y/n. You can tell me.”

“Nothing, Mark. I'm fine,” you argued, your voice breaking as you tried to pull away from his hug. You hit his arms when he wouldn't let go. “Let me go!”

Mark did as you asked, backing away a few paces to give you space. “Okay. Just tell me what's going on. Is he related to you? Did he hurt you? What are you doing on this side of town? You know there are a lot of thugs around here.”

You took a deep breath and looked right at him. “This is where I live, Mark.”

Mark seemed surprised, but the worry on his face didn't leave as he approached to hold your shoulders again.

“Is that man your dad? Is he hurting you?” He scanned your body for any sign of injury. When he looked at your shoulder, he stopped to gaze into your eyes. “The bruise on your shoulder from before, was that by him?”

“He's not my dad.” You shook his hands off of you. “My parents are dead.”

Mark's mouth hung open. “Why didn't you tell me that?”

You felt upset when he asked that. All of a sudden, you were flooded by the feeling of helplessness and loneliness that you endured ever since your parents passed away when you were 15. You blamed them for leaving you behind and letting your aunt and uncle treat you like shit. You blamed them for leaving you to suffer by yourself. And you blamed them because you were lonely and sad for a long time. Meeting Mark was a good way to forget about the immense sadness. But now, even that has been tainted by the loss of your parents.

“Why? So you'd pity me? So you can keep thinking about it and look at me like how you're doing right now?”

“Babe—”

“Or what? So you can decide if I am qualified to be in your life or not?”

“Baby!” Mark scolded. “I did not say that!”

“Then what is it? Did you want to know so you can see if I can make you happy while bringing out the best in you?” you spat, his mom’s words echoing in your head.

“Hey,” he called lovingly as reached for you again but you dodged. “What are you talking about?”

“I'm done, Mark. It's over.”

Mark sighed and held your hand. “Come on. You're emotional. Let's go get some air. We'll talk after you feel a little better.”

“Where are you taking me, Mark? To your fancy house? To that fancy hotel that you paid for with your dad's money?”

“Baby, please. Don't do this.”

“Or, or are you taking me to that damned cove because I'm so easy and I'd let you fuck me anywhere?”

Mark stopped walking and stared at you dead in the eyes. The look almost made you wake up from your angry stupor but you just scoffed.

“Did I hit a nerve?”

“Y/n, why are you doing this?”

“I'm done, Mark. We're done. So please, leave me alone.”

You walked on the opposite side of the road while Mark chased after you.

“Don't push me away, y/n. Come on! Let's talk about this. You're upset right now. Let's talk when you're a little bit calmer!”

But you paid him no mind and got into the taxi cab that stopped in front of you when you called for it.

Mark never gives up. You know that and you loved that about him. But now that he's not giving up on you, you feel suffocated. He kept blowing your phone so much that you had to block him. He cornered you in your classes that you stopped attending. You even pulled out of the junior librarian job because he was there. It's all good because you're leaving after the semester anyway. You spent the days filling out forms and preparing yourself for New York. Dianne was kind enough to lend you money without asking why and you were able to pay off your advances from the diner before you quit your job there. You promised her you'd pay her but she told you not to worry too much and take your time. Mark had been camping out of the dorms and several times you saw him get kicked out by the dorm lady. You've been cooped up in the building, not leaving to avoid running into him.

You realized after that confrontation with Mark that you were horrible to him. You were mean and cruel and he didn't deserve any of that. You were upset and justifiably so, but Mark shouldn't have been at the receiving end of your rage. Unfortunately, he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. You didn't mean anything you said about him, especially the part where you want to break up. But as you thought about it for days, you realized it was better to break it off with him. You're not planning on coming back here anyway.

Your school announced your departure just before the day you leave. It was great news to be offered a spot in such a prestigious school that your university had to make a big announcement out of it. It was mainly Spencer's idea and the school administration was on board with it. That was how your friends found out that you were leaving. Mark too.

“New York? That's amazing!” Nadine told you while you were at the diner the night before you left.

“I'm friends with a genius. How great is that?” Stan was fake crying as he hugged you. You couldn't help smiling at the support from your friends. But then the bells of the door rang and you turned to see Mark entering the diner.

Stan let go of you and smiled sheepishly. “I hope you don't mind I invited Mark. I mean, I know you broke up and all but hey, he's still your friend, right?”

“You two broke up?” Timmy exclaimed, followed by gasps of surprise from Nadine and Dianne.

“Y/n! Is it true?”

Stan looked surprised. “You guys didn't know? I thought everyone knew.”

“Did Mark tell you that?” Nadine asked.

“Mark?!” your friends turned to him.

“No. I kinda just assumed it. I haven't seen them together for days and y/n haven't hung out with us for a while too so I thought they broke up,” Stan explained.

Dianne started laughing and turned to Owen. “Hey, didn't we have a transaction we need to take care of?”

“Transaction?”

“The books, Owen. For the library. Let's go. We have to take care of it now.” She turned to you and said, “Congratulations, sweetie. Sorry, but we have to go now. Those books are really really important.”

Nadine and Timmy stood up too. “You know what, I think I'll go study for the exams.”

“I thought the exams were over?” Stan questioned and Timmy glowered him knowingly.

“Unlike our smart y/n, I have to retake a few subjects.”

“I'm sleepy as heck,” Nadine added.

You sighed as your friends came up with the lamest excuses to leave but you didn't want to interfere. Maybe it's for the best that you have this final talk with Mark anyway. He deserved that much.

“I guess I'll leave you two alone to talk,”

Stan said, taking his bag and waving goodbye.

Mark sat right next to you, hugging you on your side and burying his face in the crook of your neck. He stayed still like that for a moment and you felt your heart melting into the warmth of his embrace. A part of you is wishing he wouldn't let go and that you can just stay that way forever.

“I love you,” he whispered, just as you started feeling the wetness on your shoulder. Mark's crying. For the first time, you're seeing Mark cry.

You made a move to get him off of you but he tightened his hold.

“Please,” he begged and you swallowed the lump in your throat to stop yourself from crying.

You stayed like that for a while, letting him hug you while you stroke his back affectionately. Eventually, you realized you couldn't stay in that diner all night, so you left and he walked you to your dorm, holding your hand in his tightly, like he was scared to let go. He stopped you from entering the dorm, knowing he wouldn't be allowed inside but you gave him a smile.

“It's okay. The dorm lady said I can bring you inside for my last night on campus.”

It was true. When you surrendered some of the dorm stuff that you needed to return before leaving, the dorm lady congratulated you for making it to NYU. She also told you that you could bring in your heartbroken boyfriend who had been sitting outside the dorm for days now. It will be her way to wish you good luck in New York. Mark saw that it was true when the dorm lady smiled at the two of you by the entrance and warned you not to wake everyone. You were still hand-in-hand even as you entered your now empty dorm room. The only thing intact was the bed and the sheets weren't even yours anymore but the dorm's.

“I'll go wash up. Have a seat,” you told him but he hugged you from behind, refusing to let you out of his sight.

You ended up lying in bed with Mark, looking into each other's eyes as he played with your hair. There was a pain in his eyes that he failed to hide and you were trying not to break down crying in front of him.

“Please tell me this is the reason why you're breaking up with me.”

“No,” you answered truthfully.

“Baby...” he pleaded, forehead creasing as he did. “It's okay. New York is far but we can make it work. I'll come to you from time to time.”

“Mark, it's not that.”

“Then what is it?” he demanded. “I love you, y/n. I loved you so much. I have loved you for an entire year and each day I spent loving you, I saw no reason to stop.”

“I know that. I love you too.”

Mark's face lit up. “You do?”

“I do. More than anything.”

Mark kissed you right then, pulling you into his embrace so you were flush against his body. You kissed him back, realizing at the time just how much you missed him. Your kisses got deeper and noisier, getting into your heads as he rolled over to cage you underneath him. He pulled away for a few seconds, looking into your eyes and seeing nothing but your love for him.

“I love you, y/n.”

“I love you, Mark.”

And so, your last night in the university, in the city, ended with Mark inside you, raw, steady, sensual, and gentle with the right amount of aggression. Just like how you would remember him to be for the next few years.

“I have to leave, Mark,” you told him outside the airport. He drove you from your city to next where the airport was, holding your hand and humming happily to the song. Mark woke up feeling great today, unaware of the truth that you're keeping from him. You know it was cruel, you know you'd break him to pieces, but your selfishness won't let you leave without seeing him for the last time. Even in your final few seconds here, you wanted to be with Mark.

“I know. But you'll come back. I can wait,” he chimed, kissing the back of your hand. You were in his car, parked outside the airport and he had been showering you with his love and innocent little kisses the whole time.

“No,” you croaked, eyes stinging when tears threatened to fall from them. “I'm not coming back.”

Mark frowned, chuckling. “What do you mean? Why not?”

“There's nothing for me to come back to,” you confessed, swallowing your tears to put on the cruel persona that you've prepared.

“Baby, I'm here. What do you mean there's nothing to come back to?”

You just shook your head and he stared at you for a while to see if you were lying. You didn't back down.

“Not even me?” he finally asked so you looked away, one hand ready to open the door on your side.

“Not even you.”

When your plane left that day, you also left everything behind. Your friends, your past, the things that you don't need, and the ones that you need. You left the one you needed the most, the boy you loved and never stopped loving until now, the most beautiful boy you've ever known. Your Mark Lee.

“I loved you, you know. I was down from the start, even when you haven’t told me anything about you,” Mark began, eyes shifting back to the sea. “I would have loved you for whoever you are. I showed you who I am. All of it, even the ones that I considered were bad, you loved me for them. I would have done the same.”

“That's easy for you to say, Mark.”

“And I would have proven it!” he roared, glowering at you for a moment before looking away again. “You didn't give me the chance, y/n.”

“I'm sorry. I was scared.”

“I understand that. But I welcomed you into my life. I made you an important part of my world,” he paused and looked at you with a mixture of hatred and pain on his face. “You made me a fantasy you dive into when you want to escape your misery, y/n. I understand why you'd do that, but you shut me out when all I ever did was love you, support you, and be there for you! None of it would have mattered. I would've supported you when you left! I would’ve gone to you once you decide to never come back I would've fought those assholes for you!”

“I didn't need you to do that, Mark. I just needed you to be you. I wouldn't have asked for any of that.”

“Fine. I get it,” he grunted. “You didn't trust me enough to share your struggles with me. But if I had known about it, if I had known you left because of it, I wouldn't have spent all these years hating you when I loved you so much.”

You stared at him, processing his words in your head. It felt like your mind was firing up with all the information you were getting. But your eyes found his lips and you couldn't even think to stop yourself before you pulled his collar and kissed him. He kissed you right back, aggressively, torridly, biting and sucking without mercy. When you pulled away, overwhelmed by his aggression, he smirked at you.

“You haven't changed at all, have you? Do you still like grabbing people by the collar?” he asked, obviously not looking for an answer when he kissed you again, lifting you to sit across his lap while he unzipped the back of your dress.

You let his hand wander, even arching your back when his lips traveled to your chest. He sucked your skin, bruising it and leaving marks all over you while you moan and grind on his hips.

“Oh, Mark!” you whimpered, grinding faster and harder against his clothed cock. Mark hitched your dress up, pulling your underwear down and thumbing your clit.

“That's right, baby. Call my name,” he smirked. “Call my name. I bet you missed that, huh? Or did you meet another Mark back there?”

You moved to unbuckle his belt but he stopped you, gently slapping your hand away and chuckling. He took off his coat and placed it on the sand before laying you down there. When his weight left you, you called for him, making him grin cockily as he stripped you off of your underwear. You watched as he unbuttoned his pants and let it fall to his knees.

“Turn around.”

“What?”

“Turn around, on your hands and knees.”

You felt humiliated being ordered around like that, but that didn't get in your head and instead, turned you on. There was something about Mark right now that is unfamiliar to you. Has he changed over the years? It doesn't matter, you were too lost in your lust to think about it and just want him inside of you.

A scream tore out of you when he suddenly pushed his cock in, roughly, without warning. He covered your mouth while you winced in pain, feeling like you had been brought back to the first time you ever had sex, which was with Mark as well.

“Does it hurt?” he asked in your ear, his voice mean and menacing. “Good. You probably deserved it.”

He started bucking his hips, thrusting violently into you. You should be angry, but you're only crying in so much pleasure, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he grabbed a fistful of your hair. He slapped your ass cheek once, and then twice, and several times again because each time he did you let out the lewdest, naughtiest moan he's ever heard. You were dirty because of lust, because of Mark. And you didn't mind, you liked it. You liked how he ravaged your skin with bruises caused by his intense kisses. You liked how your ass is stinging with each spank. You liked how he's drilling into you and thrusting hard like there's no tomorrow. You liked the disrespect and the bouts of pleasure that it sent through your entire body.

“Cum, baby. Don't be shy, let it go,” he ridiculed when your cries turned into faint whimpers. “I said do it!”

He thrusted roughly into you and that sent you into a spiraling orgasm that had you collapsing on weakened limbs. Mark stopped, letting you fall limp on his coat before gently turning your body so you were lying on your back. He wiped the sweat on your forehead and tucked away the hair that gathered on your face. Then he planted one tender kiss on your forehead.

“I'm sorry,” he said softly, laying his head on your chest. “Was it too much?”

“Why? You can't handle it?” you challenged so Mark lifted his head. He looked at you with a deadpan expression.

“How are you still atrocious with your words?”

“How are you still obsessed with my body?” you retorted and Mark shrugged.

“To be fair, it's an immaculate body.”

“And your dick is still hard,” you pointed out. Mark smirked at you and positioned himself on top of you.

“So I can fuck you into oblivion but you'd still have enough audacity to get smart with me?”

You just giggled while Mark leaned to kiss you. He prodded your entrance again, taking a few test penetrations before doing it fully as if he hadn't already left you wet and overly lubricated with your own juices. Mark fucked you again, this time in a way that's more like Mark, like how you remembered it to be. When he started losing strength in his arms and his movement became erratic, you knew he was close so you wrapped your legs around his torso, telling him to keep going. Mark went faster and harder until he pushed his very last thrust and came inside of you. You bit your lip, satisfied by the sex and even more so by the look on his face. You missed this man so much and you also missed how you can reduce him into such a mess with just your body.

“If I get you pregnant, that's on you,” he quipped, laying on top of you. You giggled, wrapping your arms around him. “I guess that's fine too because you'll have to marry me. I don't want my child to grow up with a broken family.”

“Well first, how do you know I'd keep it?”

“I don't, but assuming you would, I won't let him grow up without me.”

“And second, that's not gonna happen because I take birth control religiously.”

He lifted his head and frowned at you. “Do you sleep around in New York?”

You scoffed at the intrusive question and he shook his head briskly and pressed his cheek on your chest again.

“No, never mind. Don't tell me. You could have had a hundred boyfriends there, I don't care. You're here right now, so that's all that matters.”

You pushed him off of you but he wouldn't budge. “For the record, you were so obsessed with me before that I had to regularly take birth control pills. It just became a habit. I haven't been sleeping around, unlike someone I know.”

“Are you accusing me?”

“If the shoe fits.”

Mark just laughed as he stood up to put his pants back on. He then helped you up and gave you your underwear that he had kept out of the sand by placing it safely on the rock. He also helped you zip your dress back up before nuzzling on your neck.

“You smell different.”

“Perfume.”

“Yeah. I like it.”

“You like this perfume?”

“No. I like whatever you wear as long as it's your skin.”

You scoffed and pushed Mark away. “Hey, aren't you supposed to be mad at me right now?”

He shook his head and pulled you back into his embrace. “I don't care about any of that now.”

“Ah, so sex solves everything?”

“Of course not. But I do know you wouldn't have sex with me if you didn't still have feelings for me.”

“Presumptuous.”

“Was I wrong? As far as I know, you hate casual hookups.”

“That was before. How do you know I never hooked up in the last few years?”

“I do know you never dated anyone after me,” he grinned confidently and you were dumbfounded. “Why was that?”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “Stanley needs to zip his mouth, seriously.”

You huffed, leaning on his chest and letting him inhale more of your scent.

“I'm sorry, baby,” he cooed after a few minutes just quietly cuddling. “I'm sorry that I wasn't the safe haven you needed me to be.”

“No, I am sorry for hurting you. You didn't deserve that. You've been nothing but good to me. And somewhere along the way, you were too good for me and I tend to ruin everything that is good.”

Mark buried his face on your neck again.

“I kept thinking about you, you know. That's why I never really moved on. I kept thinking that maybe if I opened up to you it wouldn't be hard to give this city a chance. Maybe if I let you in, we could be happy even when I'm away. Maybe if I trusted you to accept me for who I am, I wouldn't be so miserable.”

“What if we try again?”

“Mark, I can't possibly put you through that again,” you complained, turning to face him but he captured your lips, shutting you up until you were weak and vulnerable underneath him again.

Your stay was extended and during that, you let Mark reel you in, showering you with the love he wished he had given you during those missed times. Your days were filled with reminiscing and reliving your youth by revisiting the old places you used to go to and doing the things you used to love doing with him. It was fun and you found yourself wishing time would stop for the two of you. Sometimes you think about not leaving, but you know there is no life for you here. Your love for Mark may be a valid reason to stay, but love alone is not enough to be content with your life. You have already established yourself in New York and that's where you are content with your life. The happiness part is still a work in progress, but you've achieved a lot so far and you can't risk all of that for love alone.

On your last day in the city, a lawyer came looking for you in your hotel room and told you about an inheritance. The visit prompted you to visit your old house, now abandoned after your uncle went to jail and your aunt died of lung cancer caused by secondhand smoking a few years ago. You were told that it is yours now, given that you were her only living relative and your uncle doesn't qualify because they were never married. You have a choice to keep it or sell it. You decided to sell it, not even hesitating. You never had fond memories there anyway.

“Wow, how long has this place been abandoned?” Mark asked as he followed you inside. The place was clean and you assumed they had it cleaned out after your aunt died. You've been told she died in the hospital but she also had a bad case of hoarding junk and the house was a complete mess before authorities were called in. Despite the neat appearance, cobwebs covered the ceilings and dust sat on every piece of furniture, a sign that no one had lived there for a long time.

“Long enough,” you replied, walking towards your bedroom. Even that was cleaned up. Nothing else remained except for a few pieces of furniture that had always been there. You didn't waste time reminiscing or looking around because you knew there was nothing to find there. You took everything important to you when you left so there really is nothing else to take.

Except maybe for the picture on the wall. One that is of your mother and your aunt. They look so much like each other with just a few distinguishing pictures. You took it from the wall and dusted it, tucking it on your side before turning to Mark. You gave him a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes.

“Let's go?”

“Let's go,” he nodded, offering his hand for you to hold on to.

You thought you would have a breakdown in there once you remember everything that pained you and everything that ruined your girlhood. You thought you'd fall back into the abyss of misery, but you didn't. You didn't even feel anything at all other than a slight tug when you saw your mother's picture. The house will be sold and you will never need to go back there again. Ever.

“Time to go,” Mark smiled at you after he dropped you off at the airport.

“It's been fun, Mark,” you told him, smiling bitterly at the thought of leaving your love behind. Again.

Mark laughed derisively as if trying to deny the situation. “No. Not again, y/n. I thought we're gonna work this out?”

“I've made a life for myself there, Mark. There's nothing for me here.”

“Me? I am here.”

You sighed, reaching to touch his cheek. “If I could, I'd take you with me anywhere. I want you as much as I want the life I've been dreaming of. But I've made big leaps, Mark. I can't jump back down.”

“I understand. But would you think about it? You don't have to live here. We can make this work, you know. I can go to you.”

“It won't make me feel any better to know that you're sacrificing your own life for me,” you sighed.

“I'm not. I'm making my own choices.”

You just smiled and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. “I love you.”

“I'll call you.”

“Sure. You can do that.”

He scooped you up in a hug and kissed you before you went to board your plane.

Two weeks in, you met Nadine for brunch in New York. She had been complaining about losing you to Mark so she travelled just to see you.

“So, you're like, LDR?”

“The LD part, yes. But we're not really in a relationship. He wants to, but I kept discouraging it.”

“Why?”

You gave her a stern gaze. “Because we're grown adults now, Nadine. We can't casually date around anymore.”

“Of course we can. But you won't because you're thinking of dating with the prospect of marriage.”

“No, I'm not.”

“Not explicitly, but you're doing it subconsciously,” she argued, pointing to her temple. “I can hear it in your tone.”

“Since when were you an expert on my tone?” you ridiculed, shaking your head.

“Since college? You never really changed that much, hun.”

You shook your head again, giving up on the argument and eating your food. Nadine checked her phone for a second and pointed out the date.

“Today's the 17th. Mark should be here by now,” she quipped, showing you her screen.

“In New York? Why?” you questioned, curious.

“Yeah. The last time we talked, he said he'd fly back on the 15th. Why do you think I chose now to come? So we could all meet up.”

“I'm sorry, fly back? Why would he be flying back?”

Nadine looked at you in surprise. “You don't know? He never told you?”

“No. He never told me anything about coming here.”

Nadine dropped his fork and covered her mouth in surprise. “Oh my god, I wonder why he didn't? He's been living here since last year. He got a job in an art museum.”

“He did what?”

Nadine sighed and shook her head disapprovingly. “For someone who's big on career and aspirations, you seem to not care about Mark's at all.”

“Hey, I do. We just don't talk about that stuff,” you defended, taking your phone out to see if he ever mentioned coming to New York.

Indeed, you don't talk about careers, mainly because you were reluctant to tell him you were doing so well as a professor and you didn't want to hear he has a good, stable job back home. Hearing that would make you feel even more upset about the fact that he can't leave that city and you can't go back either. So you avoided it. But why wouldn't he even mention that he's literally in the same state as you are when he knows it's a big deal for you?

Nadine told you where Mark worked and what his job was, then you headed there right after brunch. You realized it wasn't even that far and you're not just in the same state but in the same city! Just a couple blocks from your workplace was the museum where Mark worked as an art curator. And ever since last year, you have visited that museum more than a dozen times as a field study with some students. You walked in there, looking around the familiar building. When you spotted a lady who looked like a staff, you approached her to ask.

“Hi. I'm looking for Mark Lee. He's an art curator here, I believe,” you began and she gave you a kind look of discouragement.

“I'm sorry, but it won't be possible to meet an executive staff without an appointment. May I know what this is for? Maybe I can arrange something.”

You took out your ID and showed it to her. “I'm an Art professor. I just have a few things to discuss with him.”

“Oh, Miss y/n! I know you,” she smiled at you. “You're from NYU. If you would just follow me through here, I'll show you to his office.”

You thanked her and followed her into the elevator that brought you up several floors up the building.

“Mr. Lee is fairly new here but he's done a pretty good job so far. Everyone's just amazed at his efficiency and his knowledge of Art History,” she told you as you walked through a corridor and a few offices before she stopped in front of one door with Mark's name on it.

“Mr. Lee is right here, in this office.”

The staff knocked and called out to him. When you heard Mark's voice from inside, you felt your heart jump nervously in your chest.

“Go ahead.”

You walked through the door and found Mark buried in some papers. When he looked up, his eyes widened in recognition of you and he immediately stood up to approach you.

"Hi!" he blurted, amazement evident on his face.

“Hey,” you greeted shyly, looking around his office. He pulled you into a tight hug and whispered how much he missed you several times.

“What are you doing in my workplace?” You couldn't help but smile at the sudden surge of nostalgia.

“Stalking you?”

He seemed to remember the same thing because he laughed. “Are you a regular here?”

“Yes but, I actually came to stalk you.”

“You're a really pretty stalker.”

Mark halted his work, calling for a break before he took you to a sandwich place across the street. Then you sat on a bench in front of a fountain that was also right in front of his workplace. He told you he was swamped with work as soon as he came back and he'd been meaning to surprise you if you hadn't surprised him first. He also said he knew you were a regular and that you always came from time to time to tour your students. But at the time, he was still pretty mad at you, so he just sneaked peeks at you.

“Like a stalker?” you quipped, making him laugh just as he was trying to drink.

“No, not in a creepy stalkerish way. But yeah, I guess.”

You smiled absent-mindedly, watching him eat through his sandwich like he had been starved. It was an adorable sight and the emotions filling your heart were satisfying and beautiful.

He soon noticed you gawking. “Oh, sorry. I skipped breakfast.”

“Why are you curating art?” you asked instead of responding to his apology.

“What do you mean? It's my job.”

“You're the art.”

Mark burst out laughing again for a good minute, hitting his thigh several times while you wore a smug smile, proud to have made him laugh so much.

“Sorry,” he blurted but then he started laughing again. “Gosh, y/n. You're a really bad flirt.”

“But I'm a good comedienne,” you boasted before taking a bite from your sandwich.

Mark started laughing again and you happily watched, looking out at the sky. The two of you sat on that bench, hand in hand, eating an amazing New York sandwich. Together, somewhere far from your old city, somewhere you can both be happy.

“Oh, god, I love you,” he blurted as soon as he recovered from too much laughing.

“Say that again.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

“I love you.”

You giggled. “One more time.”

“I love you.”

“That's nice. Again.”

“Alright. Now you're just messing with me!”

“Say it, Mark Lee!”

“I love you!”

[Fin]

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