#I guess we're sad today

[royalarchivist]

To be clear, I'm not going anywhere. I love this community, and although I'm disappointed seeing how certain things have been handled, I still believe in the objective of QSMP: uniting communities and people from all around the world and breaking down language barriers.

Regardless of what happens next, or whether people choose to step away from the series or not, QSMP gave many content creators and their communities a platform to meet other people and make those first cross-cultural connections and friendships. The positive ripple-effects from that aren't going away anytime soon.

#mod talk #I dunno. I guess the final message here is I'm sorry we're all feeling sad and I'll try to help people as best I can #I think I will still share old clips but I might take a bit of a break today #I'm happy to hear your guys' feedback and thoughts though! #I want to hear how certain CCs respond before I decide on sharing new clips

[hephaestuscrew]

When you listen to the funeral in Boléro when you're 19 and are fairly naïve and have been lucky enough that you've never had a death close to you, you think Hera doesn't understand "why they have to be gone" because she's an AI and she only has 4 years of life experience to go off and it's inevitably difficult for someone without a physical body to conceptualise death. But then you get a little older and things happen and you realise No, that's just what grief is like.

Hera thinks that it doesn't make sense to her because she's missing something, because there's something that her creators didn't put inside her head, or at the very least because she's never experienced that kind of loss before. She thinks there's something that can be explained to her that will make it easier to come to terms with the deaths of people who've been a part of her life. And Eiffel struggles for an answer, or rather a way to explain to her that there is no answer; "Hera, we don't… I don't know that there's… That's not what this -".

The truth is that there's nothing that Hera is missing. What is happening inside her head feels "wrong and stupid and wrong" because that's just how it feels when someone you know dies. That's how the other characters are feeling too, even if they express it differently.

Hera thinks that she feels the way she does because she's experiencing things differently to her human crewmates, but that's not really the case. She's just being the most honest about those feelings.

It's not an artificial intelligence grappling with human situations that she can't understand. It's a person struggling with grief in the way that any human struggles with grief.

Hera's feeling that she doesn't know how to deal with this, her inability to stop thinking about the fact that they're gone, her sense that there must be some set of instructions she wasn't given, her desperation for a way to make it better or easier, her plea for things to somehow make sense… It's all just so incredibly, heart-wrenchingly human and real.

#Sorry for the sad post I guess #Also I've a feeling this isn't entirely my original thought #but it's what I'm thinking about today #I was gonna say some things about Minkowski's #'They're gone... so that we never forget how important it is that we're still here' #but perhaps I'll leave those for another post #I'm going to a funeral next week so this is on my mind #it's not for someone I was properly close to or anything so I'm fine #but it's why this episode is on my mind #Sorry to overshare #tw death #tw grief #Fuck it I think I will put this in the tags #Wolf 359 #w359 #Wolf 359 spoilers #w359 spoilers #the empty man posteth

[moripartylove]

.

#broke up with my bf today #there were no tears #we had a long calm conversation and then just sat and held each other for a long timd #time #then we spend the rest of the weekend together anyway but as friends #we're both sad but we both know that it wasn't working #so it's for the best #still sad though #on the train home i cried a little after all #grieving for what could have been i guess

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#argentina saw trump and went ''yeah we want one of those!''... #this absolutely insane man might become president and fully ruin the country (more than it already is) #which is never fun but even worse when you're queer... #today i'm glad i'm living with dysphoria every day but haven't started T #because as sad and absolutely awful as what i'm about to say is... #i can pretend to be a cis woman for safety... #which is a HORRIBLE thing to say or do #but i don't have to put myself out there trying to get hrt or anything like that #or legally change my name and gender mark while looking like i look... that might get me killed or something #bare in mind everything i'm saying A. hasn't happened yet #and B. is being said by someone with an anxiety disorder who can't see hope right now... so take it with a grain of salt #i'm just scared and i don't like the state of the world right now... #and we were somewhat safe in some aspects here and we're so close to losing them now #i'm scared and hate it here but i'm also broke and can't leave so... #we are where we are where we are i guess #angel talks #personal #sorry for the politics... i'm not going to start posting politics #the point of my blog is to escape the hell that is the real world... but i needed to vent and also you know me i love screaming at the void

[you-will-return]

-----

#aaaaaah I can't wait for tomorrow #actually i can #but like miserably #i still have to finish my term paper tho so 🥲 #current plan is to be at the venue at 3 pm but tbh it's up to the db gods #the next time i will have more than 5 hours of sleep will be next thursday #alright wait let me start over again #so tomorrow i'm going to berlin for bc #on sunday i'm going to Leipzig and on Wednesday I have VIP for Munich but I have anxiety so I'll be 4 hrs early anyway #and because we're trying to save money (and failing) i only have a hostel for munich :))) #three cheers for sleeping in train stations at 3 in the morning i guess #what doesn't help is that the trams are currently on strike so i'll either have to walk or get a taxi to my apartment #which sucks #anyway and to top it all off i got a bout of the big sad recently so i haven't been able to work on my term paper #which i have to hand in next thursday at the latest #but i only have until today to work on it bc i'll be travelling around until... next thursday when i have to hand it in #this is bad #anyway but enough of that I'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING EVERYBODY AGAIN!!!! #and praying that they play red taillights live #that song has been living in my head rent free #as well as not your bro for some reason????

[butnobodycame627]

hhhhhhh I can't have nice things

#well I can but I'll face the consequences #oh what's that? you wanted to have a nice day and fun times? well you are now cursed with horrible stomach pain and nausea!! #go die in the bathroom and try not to wake up your mom because it's midnight #okay she wouldn't mind if it's for this but I'd feel kinda guilty #I did wake up my dad because I needed. someone. to help me. I might cry fuck #surprised I'm not already crying my eyes out but maybe I'm just too tired #anyone else get that? we're you're too tired to spend the extra energy crying? idk #I think it's mostly over now maybe?? but fuck man it might come back #I guess I ate a lot today so maybe it's from that maybe? or maybe my illness is just being a little bitch for no reason #it could maybe be an allergic reaction I guess but I was just with family and my family is usually careful enough to avoid- #-cross contamination so idk #guhhh I am. dying. I am dead actually. this is my tortured ghost soul haunting my sad little tumblr blog

[regular-lord-reckoner]

been having a bit of a hard time lately and the hits just keep coming because today our family friend that's staying with us, his wife got into a car accident

she's okay, thank god and so were the other people but they had to tow her car and she was really shaken up understandably

everyone's okay now but just...jesus christ, dude

also, i know i've been absent on here lately but i'm still around, just going through it. eventually i'm gonna get an actual break and will return in full but for now i'm just going to cross my fingers the rest of this year can be a little more gentle

#tomorrow we're going to go meet my niece and her kids so we can give them their presents and stuff #please no more accidents #or bad shit #i just need one day something doesn't go wrong or i don't get overstimulated or just...whatever else #i'm doing everything i can on my part to take care of myself but it's still just...a lot #this is my first christmas without my dad and i'm just...sad #really sad #but it is what it is i guess #life just sucks sometimes #or a lot of the time #but either way #just gotta keep going no matter what!! #i was also keeping tabs of all the stuff i've missed on here that i wanted to catch up on but ending up deleting the tabs by accident #so if when i do return i'm crawling through everyone's blogs months back don't mind me #hope if you're reading this you're doing as well as you can be #see you...sometime #maybe later today #maybe a month from now who knows

[munamania]

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love #what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it #why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties #of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often #so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk #and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore #i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them #. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec #but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd #but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE. #OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL. #and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness #but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart. #this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it #that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too #and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch #now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it. #because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do #something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope #and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude #this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post #ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting #all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever

[meownotgood]

I just got hired at the best job ever I'm literally so excited baaaAAAAAAAHHhhhh

I rant a lot in the tags I'm sorry

#I came in for an interview today and the boss just immediately put me on the schedule for tomorrow #I enjoyed my one week of unemployment lol #it's a comic book store and they sell all kinds of stuff like comics manga pokemon cards #I met all the workers and they're super nice #I'm working with this one guy all day tomorrow and he was asking me questions about games and anime and such #I'm gonna work there full time WAAAAhh #and then they're like #gonna set up a booth at an anime convention next weekend #THEY'RE PAYING ME TO GO TO AN ANIME CONVENTION #AND SELL STUFF THERE #I'M GETTING PAID TO GO TO AN ANIME CONVENTION #OHHHHH GOOODDSDSSHHH #AND GUESS WHAT WE'RE DOING TOMORROW #tomorrow they're setting up lego displays #I'm gonna get paid. to build legos. #and hang out and talk about anime #I'm gonna scream I need to go scream into my pillow maybe #I was so sad when I lost my last job because I really loved it but I'm so excited for this one you don't even know #so happy so happyyyy #I noticed when I went behind the counter.... they have a list of manga they want to purchase to sell in the store #chainsaw man was on there.... #I wonder if I can talk to my coworkers about chainsaw man...... #then it will truly be the best job ever. #aaaahhh..

[yousaytomato]

When bad things are happening, and you're sad and stressed and anxious because of them, it's a truly awful feeling, and I don't wish it on anyone

But, it's such a uniquely worse experience, when there isn't anything to actually be sad or stressed about - but your brain has decided it's gotta be sad

- so you're just sad about absolutely nothing instead. You'll latch onto tiny, insignificant things that don't matter, that you don't actually care about, and these things will take over your life and make you sad for no reason at all

It's not a cathartic sadness, you don't take a step back and think "actually, this is a stressful situation, my reaction is proportionate," because it's not!! And knowing that, but having absolutely no control over how you feel makes you feel so much worse, makes you feel so stupid and crazy and pathetic :/

#i woke up so happy and well rested this morning #but hmm. sadness time i guess #but again. there's no reason!! #it makes me feel so lost and alone #like I'm floundering in the middle of the ocean gasping for air completely alone #woes of emily #negative #ask to tag #I'm not even going to tell yall what's on my mind because its so stupid #that's another thing. atleast with actual tangible objectively sad situations #you can talk about them. get sympathy and ideas and a different perspective #and feel less stupid and alone #but what do you even say about this stuff #it's mental illness innit #i think probably i am actually sad about other stuff #like there's plenty of bad things happening at any one time #Im sick and tired and I've got a family member actively dying and I'm lonely and i didn't get the job and I've been unemployed for too long #etc etc etc #but my brain doesn't care about those today #no. we're sad for imaginary reasons instead

[stars-inthe-sky]

...

#just found out our absolute favorite coffeeshop in cambridge massachusetts is closing #and almost every other such place we frequented in our many years there is now also gone #(many due to covid but many not) #and while my sisters are still both living in the area so we're back with some frequency #the specific harvard square area that was home for so long is now not at all a focal point #and while i absolutely and deeply miss a lot about those years of our lives #i am today struck with that realization about never being able to go home again #and it's sad and weird and visceral yet superficial? #anyway a consistently excellent egg sandwich on sourdough probably shouldn't be able to inspire this level of feeling years later #but (1) they were really good sandwiches and (2) it's obviously about more than the sandwiches #like just a time in life and a place where it happened #and there was already so much never-going-back even before bébé and even before covid really #friends moving away or out to the suburbs and day to day life shifting and whatever else #but man #the years start coming and they dont stop coming #this is about darwin's ltd. if you're familiar with the neighborhood #but it's also about how time flies and is weird #we're going back for middle sister's baby shower next month so i guess we'll get our final breakfast sandwiches then #but not from the mt. auburn location where i have probably spent the equivalent of weeks of my life at least #is this the real life?

[raininyourblackeyes]

Bruh... My dad brought some mushrooms home to dry and spread them in the living room and today I asked mom if they could be moved to balcony because of the terrible smell. Mom asked dad. And he started yelling at her and I told him I was the one who complained. He got up, started saying how he had wasted years of hard work to make me into a "respectable person" and threw them out. Now he is getting ready for bed and is ranting how he worked so hard to find those mushrooms and brought only the best but I have never had any respect for him. Once again the villain of the family.

#lol he said himself while he was preparing them to dry that they smell bad... #but i guess we're not allowed to complain about it #he's also angry that my mom caught some virus going around she tested for covid twice she is negative #but he has yelled at her for getting covid again twice today... #also apparently the fact that i have an exam in september AND need to study for it is embarrassing him... #i am sad he threw them out he searched through the forest for them but dude they could have been perfectly fine on the balcony

[emometalhead]

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#ran out of tags on last post but still want to rant without filling anyone's inbox or dash #sorry but here's the continuation #anyway so also we went to my grandma's house and I saw my dogs which breaks my heart every damn time #I miss them so much and it kills me. it causes me physical pain to not have them with me #I'm still mad at my mom to this day for being so horrible to them and giving them away. so it pissed me off to see her cuddling them #everyone disagrees with me but I don't think she has any right to act like she cares about them after she discarded them so easily #I will never stop being upset with her for it and even though everyone thinks I'm a b**** for it I refuse to release the grudge #anyway I'm tired and as nice as parts of my day were I feel like the lows were just really low #this morning we took some lovely graduation photos at my campus (which I visited for the last time) and I'm excited to post a few tomorrow #I'm truly proud of myself and grateful my college experience is over #I just foolishly allowed myself to have a vision of how today would go and parts of it really brought me down #I don't want to complain (which is probably a lie since this is the 3rd post I'm making to rant) but I wasn't expecting to breakdown today #I spent time with people I love and I got cool photos and a really soft sweater with my school's logo on it and I shouldn't be sad right now #plus we're having people over tomorrow for a party to celebrate me #I'm just really reliving the day and a lot of it was negative at my expense and I really hoped everyone would work to make it nice #some of it was obviously out of my family's hands but I feel like they handled that stuff in a way that guilted me and it sucked #I'm just a mess of emotions and I'm lowkey icing everyone out because I don't want to end my night crying again #welcome to real life I guess? #I really shouldn't complain #ashley rants #sorry if anyone read this

[toastsnaffler]

ik its 4am I just woke up but I can't believe my roommate got upset with me bc she thought I thought she was "anti feminist" for shaving. girl I literally never fucking said that. sorry I was incessantly bullied by strangers friends and family for not shaving as a teen and so body hair positivity is important to me + sorry I like body hair on myself and other ppl and have explicitly said I find it attractive before. I don't care that u shave but I'm not going to clap and cheer abt it? ur already fulfilling societal expectations so why do u need my approval on top of that? its such a non issue like how the fuck is a masc dyke making u feel insecure abt ur cis femininity lmao

#can 100% understand where shes coming from abt some of the other things she was upset abt bc that was def on me #and i genuinely am sorry and ive said so. but this one is just petty #if she was a trans woman then i would get if she felt like i was judging her for shaving in order to pass or whatever #which i wouldnt judge anyway bc not my body so i dont care what u do with it!!! but i could understand the fear of judgement #i dont even know im so tired... i just dont understand her at all sometimes. and i feel like she really doesnt understand me either #and ik im easily misunderstandable bc im often emotionally unpredictable and autistic as fuck. but it makes me sad that weve known each- #other years now and are probably the person both of us talk to most and there are still so many fundamental miscommunications between us #and im trying to understand!! but sometimes i just have to accept that i really dont. we're just so different and thats ok #just so hard to know what she thinks bc she immediately dismissed my reply to her yesterday. but if she said its ok then i guess it is #im just gonna take her at her word even if shes being dishonest w me im not fucking around with this anymore #anyway whatever.. rolling over and going back to sleep. i hope i have a better day at work today regardless #.diaries

[myheartxmyman]

I missed you the whole day, even worse in the evening and I can barely comprehend that it's really over

#on a day where I really wished to be with you regardless how challenging being with you has gotten for me those last months #I did the laundry thinking about snuggling onto you #being held and holding you #close #looking in your beautiful eyes #I miss you that much today that all the chaos and pain the resentment eg were way lighter and faded at the edges #today I really really missed you and then I lost you #nevertheless there's a fear inside of me it's better that way #I don't want to give us up but we're not even a ghost of what we were #it's so so sad #we should have started the couples therapy #but wasn't that important for you after all I guess #I mean there are people out there working for free #would probably have been better than doing nothing at all #because it showed me once again your words and actions still don't match #not even when you are 'considering yourself as fighting' #I am tired #sad and tired

[transxfiles]

lost phineas and ferb episode where perry is called to investigate what dr doofenshmirtz is up to because carl the intern got ahold of some intel that doof has been seen speaking to lawyers and looking up the endangered species act at internet cafes and as major monogram says, "something fishy is going on"

meanwhile phineas and ferb's subplot of "i know what we're gonna do today!" is that isabella needs her environmentalist fireside girls badge so they start researching which species are in urgent need of help in the tri-state area so that they can use new cloning and gene therapy technologies to bring at-risk animals back from extinction

(yes there is a c-plot where buford and baljeet argue the ethics of this idea, i don't have time to explain it all for you rn)

we cut back to🎵doofenshmirtz evil incorporated🎵where we see perry carefully maneuvering around doofenshmirtz's lab scared he might fall into a trap but he hasn't set off a single booby trap and it's clear something is off

he runs into doofenshmirtz and goes to kick him in the gut action movie style but doof steps back one overly confident and says, "nuh uh uh, you see perry the platypus, you are TRAPPED! by the danville section of the endangered species act of 1973!"

doof goes on to explain his tragic backstory: "you see, perry the platypus, when i was a child my parents did not show up for my own birth! but you know that already, yadda yadda yadda they did not love me and then they loved roger more, ANYways i was raised by ocelots! i had a lovely foster mother who took me in and made me one of the pride, and so you see, perry the platypus, i am still legally considered an ocelot. did you know that there are only 50 recorded ocelots still alive in the continental united states? very sad for me as a member of a near-extinct species. it would be immoral for you to hurt someone critically endangered... in fact, you have made many attempts on my life this summer"

[montage of doof's security camera footage of their battles]

"which is why i have decided to bring you... TO COURT!" we cut back to phineas and ferb's back yard where they've decided to start cloning ocelots in their kiddie pool

candace storms outside enraged and says, "phineas and ferb are you cloning ocelots in my duckie momo kiddie pool!?"

ferb's one line of the episode is "well, i guess it's more of a kitty pool, now"

candace storms away saying, "i'm going to tell mom!" and isabella turns to phineas and says, "oh, does your mom have experience in wildlife conservation?"

we cut back to the doof and perry plotline where the two are now in the danville hall of justice and we learn that doof has spent his monthly alimony check on a defense lawyer and perry turns and sees the lawyer and then vanessa helping her organize her briefcase and perry chitters at her and vanessa shrugs and says, "i'm thinking about going into legal defense. sorry perry."

the rest of the doof and perry b-plot is spent in court and perry is about to ask for a public defense lawyer when carl runs into the room and explains that he's owca's official legal defense and perry looks at him like, "uhhh is that even allowed?"

it doesn't matter because apparently the judge is out sick today but because it's danville roger's the judge now because he's the mayor and everyone loves him.

the court case continues.

meanwhile phineas and ferb have successfully cloned multiple ocelots from the original ocelot dna they had on hand and isabella asks phineas if these clones will experience health problems like premature aging, phineas casually explains that ferb figured out the problem while they were experimenting with stem cell harvesting.

back in the courtroom, doof's ocelot foster mother has been brought to the stand along with an ocelot to english translator. doof gets emotional seeing her after so long. she says that he was one of her favorite child and he was as strong a hunter as anyone else in the family. it's incredibly sweet. the jury's in tears.

meanwhile, isabella has established connections with a group in texas who are going to release the ocelots back into their natural habitat and, using the cloned ocelots to prevent inbreeding, help establish an ocelot breeding program. the group explains that they are going to send a helicopter to retrieve the cloned ocelots from danville and bring them to texas soon.

isabella gets her fireside girls badge.

candace manages to get mom to see the backyard only after the ocelots have been helicoptered off to coastal texas, their primary habitat.

mom makes it into the backyard as phineas stares wistfully over the fence and says, "if you love something, you have to let it go." candace goes, "look mom look look look!" and points at the ducky momo kiddie pool, devoid of cloned ocelots, where baljeet and buford are now chilling out, having settled their philosophical debate about the ethics of animal cloning.

back in the courtroom drama, doof looks like he's about to win when an attendant walks into the courtroom and whispers something in roger's ear.

roger looks up, grinning, and says, "good news, everyone! my attendant here has just enlightened me that ocelots are no longer considered critically endangered!"

this settles the case, with perry being decreed not guilty and the entire affair being called off. the courtroom cheers, roger walks over to doof and personally congratulates him on his species' return from the brink of extinction.

doof shouts, "curse you endangered species classification system!" at the ceiling of the danville hall of justice.

perry arrives back home just in time for mom to say, "who wants pie?"

the end.

#cricket.chatterbox #phineas and ferb #pnf #dr doofenshmirtz #perry the platypus #phineas flynn #ferb fletcher #greatest hits