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puzzled-pegasus · 3 months

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wof headcanons but theyre oddly food and substance related for some reason

Although I understand why Tui didn't include very much info abt alchohol or drugs in a kids book there is an extreme lack of culinary related world building so here are some ideas I had while on this train of thought :)

SeaWings tend to be foodies and are generally given cooking classes in school. Which if you think about it, is rather important, because like 60 percent of the creatures in the ocean are poisonous and the rest have parasites and nasty germs so they need to know whats up when it comes to food safety.

SeaWings use a lot of citrus in their food and drinks and they also use it for fragrances and stuff they just really like it

SeaWing nobles commonly eat fugu and there have been assassinations where a chef was bribed to not properly take out the poison so the dragon eating it would die

SeaWings drink to taste. SkyWings drink to forget what century it is.

SkyWings typically eat their meat raw but on special occasions they will barbecue it and put some spices n stuff on it. They don't eat much else besides meat but they do like spicy things like peppers and they also like strong onion or garlic flavors. The little masochists. Anyway,

SkyWings don't really like sweet things and many of them can't even taste them so they're like wtf is a dessert

man do they love them some olives tho. Olives everywhere. In their drink. Out of the jar. On their meat. Oil on their scales. Oil in their hygiene products. They started trading them from the Sand and SeaWings millennia ago but theyve selectively bred ones that grow in the mountains

This one's more drugs than food but SkyWings will sometimes take some kind of stimulant before battle like a beserker so they're all fired up heheh

MudWings are excellent meal preparers and sibs like to all cook together so they'll make a big pot of stew or something

They like bread and desserts, they have easy access to sugar cane being along the east coast and they also use a lot of honey. They're re into canning stuff too, they have a lot of raspberries and blackberries and strawberries in their temperate forest areas and they grow them to make jam and wine and they use honey to make mead

basically they are Cottagecore(TM) and I love them

They also eat lots of freshwater fish and crawfish and whatnot

And they also eat a lot of tatoes

Vanilla grows in the swamps, they use that in their cakes

MudWings deserve some appreciation goddamnit their kingdom is biologically diverse and beautiful

SandWings have tequila because. Yknow. Cactus.

They eat a lot of bugs and lizards, they don't really need to eat every day so it's not a huge deal

they do like coconuts tho and they use coconut oil in a lot of their hygiene products as well as in their cooking

They deep fry a lot of shit. Idk where i got this but trust me. They love things with lots of fat in it bc they need all they can get

Really sticky sweet desserts and candy; enjoyers of those one lollipops with the mealworms or whatever tf in them

also canning stuff like bone broth is very important

pickled cactus as well

rhey probably have a festival when cactus fruit goes in season

what even is IceWing cuisine.

Well way up north where there's nothing but ice it's pretty bad and the dragons have to eat just plain ass meat and seafood, but down into the tundras there's some pretty good stuff like cinnamon, pines for tea, honey berries, and other foraging as well as more diversity of meats

They would probably eat sushi

All the other tribes like to make fun of them and rightfully so bc their food is so plain

they make good honey berry wine tho

Maube that's why theyre so damn grumpy

RainWings are expert foragers ofc but they don't really feel the need to prepare their food in any way

They are, however, in constant dire need of sodium because they get absolutely none from their fruit

So anything salty is wow

Maybe rhey have a place near the mud kingdom border where they can grow some asparagus for salt

they are also the only tribe besides Night that can eat chocolate but forgor 💀 how to make it so the NightWings and them have to re figure it out together

Salted dark chocolate bing bang boom instant delicacy

NightWings used to be able to cook really well, especially desserts and pastry, but they forgor while they were trying to not die on the volcano

#wof #wings of fire #wof headcanons #this one is really long im sorry #food #alcohol #tw drug mention

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amoonsong · 1 year

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Astro Observations

the way I understand signs themselves is based on the way the rising is set up. for example, Pisces risings dress with their mood because they have a Cancer 5th house or Sagittarius risings are super outspoken about their beliefs because they have a Leo 9th house meaning theyre prideful and strong about their opinions. Or, Scorpios are really good at sex because they have a mercury-ruled 8th house, and mercury rules over little details. IDK if this is a thing honestly I just found that it works for me.

Pisces can be very child-like which I feel leads them to be open and just not care about people's opinions. I say this because Neptune is about dreams and delusions and if you think of children, they embody just that. They're very naive and open, lack of a filter (which i feel can be especially true for Pisces with Aries mercury), have delusions, and are dreamy. If you ask a child their dream job and they say a response completely unaffected by capitalism or society. Children are born with the energy of love and Pisces embodies that, I feel that that is a HUGE Pisces trait.

Speaking of this I feel like pisces venus natives, maybe risings, tend to be very self-sacrificing in relationships because that's just who they are in general but they can become very nit-picky and particular about the people with who they share that with after a while if affected by unrequited love, manipulation, just bad relationships in general. I think this is because in derivative astrology they have a Virgo 7h and in relationships, they're already nit-picky and whatnot.

all fire signs (venus, rising, sun possibly mars) will all have some sort of dramatic hair or captivating hair. they tend to really prioritize it.

in synastry, if someone's planet falls into your first house using Placidus but the second house using whole sign, you might cherish them in some way shape, or form because they connect with you on a personal level. with the moon, you could value and depend on being emotional with them because yall can emotionally connect with one another. with venus you could value sharing possessions, watching movies, buying each other things, or simply loving each other because it caters to your personal needs and your self. with mercury, you could value talking to them because it's always stimulating and interesting, and with mars you could value passions, sex, being ambitious, or just seeing their rawness because, for you, it proves their devotion to you but with mars. this could be annoying/repulsive or pleasurable/hot to you.

Leo risings are very vivacious and the fun, the drama but once you really get to know them you'll see that they rarely speak about their family in any serious capacity because of their Scorpio 4th house. this could change if they have mercury or the sun there but even if they did they could be super selective about what they tell you unless they are very trusting of you, then they let all the secrets and truth about themselves spill.

speaking of that, no matter how a Scorpio appears, they care about its reputation and they're prideful about it.

Virgo mars nag so fucking much omg. they just pick and nag until whatever goes their way or until they're satisfied and it's so annoying. I find this especially true if expecting the moon or if it's also the moon honestly.

“a friend to all is a friend to none” is about Pisces risings. very kind and social people due to their chameleon-like personality (Neptune / Jupiter), but it's very rare they actually find people they’re close to and I'm sure that's because of that Capricorn 11th house (Saturn putting restrictions on social groups) and Virgo 7th house (picky and critical about who they consider a real companion.) but it's weird because with Taurus/venus ruled third house can be an indicator of a people magnet and they're really good and charming socialists and very likable.

people might think that Pisces is a go-with-the-flow type of person (which they areeeee) but they have Taurus in the third house, so they have a very stubborn mind. I feel like it’ll be expressed more with people who actually have 3rd house placements or fire placements because they're more inclined to vocalize and stick to their opinions.

leo is not the only fame indicator, heres more:

pisces = jupiter co-ruler and jupiter is bigger than life and super abundant. neptunes co-ruler (which rules over entertainment, arts, cameras, etc) so theyre very photogenic, have that celebrity mystique, and very connected to the arts. not to mention, neptune is the higher octave of venus so they can be very beautiful or have a beauty people cant even comprehend.

aries = suns exaltation they easily get attention and theyre trendsetters its just super easy for them to get attention especially if theyre being themselves.

Sagittarius = ruled by Jupiter and natural ruler of the 9th house. Jupiter is super expansive, bigger than life itself so they have natural luck, opportunities, and various skill sets that will be known and recognized. Jupiter makes them shine just as bright as the sun, if not more. the 9th house is the house of other countries and travel, they can be globally known.

cancer: cancer is a luminary and a cardinal sign.. they work hard and they shine. easily recognized just like the moon, adored just like the moon, beautiful and admireable, just like the moon. lol. cancers put you in that same trance the moon puts u in. not to mention the 28° , the househould (4th house) name. like cancers are known and loved. ie: kim kardshian (28°) , ariana grande , oprah (28° , household name like if you dont know oprah id be shocked.)

Venusians ♉️♎️♓️: beautiful lives or appearances that's very captivating. into the arts and they can be recognized for that. they can be superficial but we all are. They're not as shallow as people perceive, the only thing is I find that Venusians tend to be a lot more private than one would imagine, idk what that’s about.

Pluto 10h: Pluto is just like Jupiter (in a way, not literally). it blows things out of proportion to the MAX and it's extreme as fuck. it can also have that larger-than-life trait and because it's in the 10th house, it’s how you're perceived and it's your status. the downside to this is when you're in the public you may always feel like you're walking a tight rope like often times than not, you're under scrutiny, people will have a love-hate relationship with you, and you're prone to be exposed in some way shape or form. on the plus side, you’re probably mysterious, hot, alluring, & have sex appeal so you have that whole celebrity mystique thing too.

#astrology #astro posts #astro placements #astrology observations #astrology notes #pisces #scorpio #pluto 10th house #venusian #taurus #cancer #fire signs #sagittarius

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 1 year

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speaking of superhero movies sucking. this thing happened to me when i read the raven cycle where i was like, "huh it turns out that there are certain fundamental skills of writing a novel that are like so fundamental i have never thought to notice or give credit for them because even bad novels do that but there's something on a different plane from bad novels and it's whatever the fuck is going on here." and like this was the case even before the raven king came out and decimated my ability to derive enjoyment from those books at all, when i was still like, well these books are dumb but fun and have some neat stuff going on occasionally. there is something just so deeply weirdly wonky about their plotting or pacing or structure or all three or whatever that they don't entirely feel like books the way other things feel like books. i was like, really hate to feel like in any way i have to hand it to her [this was i think before any political stuff when i was just bitter about JKR because the casual vacancy was one of the worst and most unpleasant novels i had read in my life to a degree that completely soured my childhood memories of her other books] but the harry potter books, whatever you say of them, they feel like books. you can argue they feel like bad books, but you read them and you're like, "i'm reading a book" and maybe "this book is good" or "this book sucks" or "this book is ok it could have used an editor why is she so weird about some things." the raven cycle does not offer that experience. it offers other experiences, some of which are actually kind of nice. adam parrish is great. ronan lynch could be so awesome if he were being written by any other half-competent YA hack on the planet. but it did not give me the experience i had for almost my entire life known to categorize as "reading a book."

anyway. that's how i increasingly feel about marvel movies, which i tapped out on after far from home because far from home made me so angry, to the extent that while i would not call it the worst marvel movie i think it is the one i hate the most, but which i have been catching up on because i have a lot of mindless work tasks to do and they make stimulating but undemanding background viewing (i am open to recommendations of things that are also stimulating but undemanding background viewing that are maybe, like, 15% less dumb). there's a weird smushiness to them that i can't quite put my finger on that makes them not feel like movies. and like some people have been calling marvel movies not movies forever and i respect those people but that's not the kind of not-movies i'm talking about. i'm not saying marvel movies aren't art, or cinema. i mean that watching them doesn't feel like watching a movie. even a bad one. some of the older marvel movies were pretty bad. i did not enjoy thor, for example. i thought it was very boring and laggy and the tone was weird and it was unbalanced and idk what else because i did not retain a strong impression of it because i thought it sucked in uninteresting ways. but it was a movie. even the avengers, i have been an avengers hater since seeing it in the theaters, i did not need the suckage of ultron to convince me that joss whedon is an idiot hack who writes terrible dialogue and makes stupid movies, i mean i fucking hate the avengers. i do. i'm like a total unfun killjoy about it, that movie has zero redeeming qualities to me except casting mark ruffalo as the hulk and even that i now feel weird about because it's like you see Smart Hulk showing up in she-hulk and it's like, is this what you thought your career was going to be when you were making kenneth lonergan movies with laura linney, mark? is this what you dreamed of? whatever. it doesn't matter. it's his life. anyway. i hate the avengers. but it's a movie. a shitty, stupid, hatefully dumb, terribly shot, offensively written movie. a movie that does not respect itself or the art of filmmaking or the canon of comic books it's drawing on or the dumb forever-commercial extended universe it's operating in or the audience, my god, least of all the audience. but it's a movie. compare to shit like, the eternals, which... like what the fuck was that? that was not a movie. that was shapes and sounds. and then different shapes and new sounds. and then shapes and sounds again. shang chi? had a secret movie hidden inside it if you squint, but itself not a movie. i feel bad picking on wakanda forever in this regard because its production was so troubled so they sort of have an excuse, but also, wakanda forever: not a movie. even the imaginary cut of wakanda forever that erases all the commercials for thunderbolts they put into the movie, still not a movie. people doing stuff. that's not a movie. and i'd rather sit through wakanda forever again than sit through thor the dark world again, but thor the dark world was a movie (a terrible, terrible movie). i liked love and thunder more than as far as i can tell anyone on the internet but i must concede it too was not a movie. like. what is going on here.

idk. as always i'm a Film Idiot and don't know anything about anything so i don't really know what it is that i am reacting to here that makes these movies feel so unmovielike to me. i'm not quite ready to say they're at j j abrams star wars levels of not a movie (the force awakens is the least movie of any movie i've ever seen in my life. less than rise of skywalker even, because the sheer unrelenting badness of rise of skywalker gives it some kind of semblance of movie-ness, although i would stop short of calling it a movie. the force awakens... a gifset with a score. period. a naked emperor inexplicably accepted by the masses as being properly clothed. one of those dreams where everything makes sense inside it but the second you try to describe it to someone you can't explain any of it any more. all this and other heinous things, but: not a movie). but we're getting there!

#i can't decide if no way home was a movie or if i just think it was because of how alfred molina Ate #i have to rewatch spider-man 2 i think as a teen i was not ready for molina molina-ing #the TV shows are also for the most part not TV shows but that feels so obviously true as to not be worth mentioning

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re-pression · 1 year

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like. i literally used to think i just was under-sensitive and fucked up in some way where i needed insanely intense stimulation to get off. but. after climbing over the hurdle of being comfortable with Any amount of intimacy with my girlfriend because being any amount of sexually intimate after realizing she like. genuinely cares about me and wants me to feel safe and respected and will never push my boundaries and actually not only desires me physically but also uhhhh Wants to make Me Feel Good???? literally sent me into a panic for Months 🤪🤪🤪 even tho we had literally had sex a few times before we started dating but i had no idea i was actually legitimately safe in the relationship lol...... but like. after finally uhhhhh starting to process the fact that despite being Known amongst many of my friends as "the one who is Highly Sexually Active™️ and borders on kind of a manwhore" lol i had. literally never had sex with someone who really loved me,, we have Finally started having sex again and like. it hasnt been objectively very intense at all in comparison to much of the sexual experience ive had in the past but. it's literally never felt like This before..... like shell have me on the edge with just touching me the right way while i used to think i needed At Least a vibrator or some pretty damn significant penetration going on to get that close. and i dont think shes even doing anything particularly Skilled And Strategic™️ or whatever its just..... nobodys ever paid attention to my reactions and my body and taken their time like this before. like i literally cannot think of a single relationship ive had in the past where ive felt so genuinely. desired and loved. i cant think of a partner thats kissed me nearly as much as she does and we really only get to see each other a couple times a week usually. and its just so much stuff that i was looking for for so fucking long but not even really realizing i was missing. like i had Thought ive had pretty healthy and loving relationships before i was just pretty fucked from the couple that went really really badly, but like. im being made to realize that ive never really known what a real relationship was supposed to be at all. and i told myself quite a bit that i might just be acting dramatic about it but my girlfriend keeps telling me like "no ive also had all my relationships end for whatever reason and get my heart broken and feel a uniquely strong love for you too, but the things you tell me about all of your past relationships and how you respond to things that are supposed to be normal and healthy in any relationship tells me youve never really been treated properly as a partner" and like. idk it gives me a sense of. grief? that like...... even the relationship i had for two whole years with my childhood best friend when i was like 17-19 was perfectly Healthy in like. we got along perfectly and we're best friends to this day and we would like cuddle and shit but also, we only had Two sexual encounters during the entire two year relationship (both of which were led by myself and never really reciprocated though done with consent) and i realized i really need sex in a relationship to feel Satisfied and desired enough and we ended things really smoothly after that and like. 1) never felt the desire and passion i was needing and 2) i literally do not Remember at least 95% of it anyways because ive retained very very few memories of that period of my life For Reasons. so its like. i might as well be having my first healthy relationship ever in my entire life after over a decade of either crushing disappointments, relationships completely devoid of love, or literally abuse situations as my entire experience with relationships and the only other sexual experience i was having was sex work. (no shade towards sex work for the record it just definitely had a major impact on my development of a really fucked view of sex and what it should look like in a relationship in my personal life lol)

idk like i just... maybe im jumping the gun here but ive thought about marrying partners before, but i've never been so sure about it. i never want to know life without her in it again. i fear if i lose her, i'll never find someone so loving and gentle and patient ever again. i love her so deeply and feel so much safety and joy when i'm with her that it scares the shit out of me. every part of me shakes with the fear that this is all too good to be true or too good to last. especially as the longer it lasts, the more my brain reminds me that by the time ive gotten this close to someone in the past, we'd have started arguing or something by now. it's so terrifying sometimes. but i can't bring myself to give into the compulsion to self-sabotage and run from it all because it's even scarier to think i'll never get to feel her hold me or kiss me again

#january 2023

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oceanbaby888 · 3 years

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"LET'S SEE WITH THE ASCENDANT" PART 1!

NOTE: WHILE I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL ASTROLOGER, I LOVE ASTROLOGY AND ITS ASPECTS AND I LOVE TO LEARN THEM! PLEASE DO NOT STEAL OR REWORD MY WORK WITHOUT CREDIT! THANK YOU :)

Hey y'all!

- I am finally settled and I am ready to give you some more astro knowledge to keep in the books!! Today we will be talking about the Ascendant (ASC for short) through the first 6 signs!! Part 2 will come out tomorrow!

- But first, what is an ASC sign?

-I'm glad you asked honey! First things first, your Ascendant is an angular house! Angular houses are the Ascendant, Descendant, IC (Imum Coeli), and MC (Medium Coeli). I'll do a post on what angular houses mean later on! Or do feel free to research on your own time :)

-Your ASC sign is what's popularly known as the sign (or sign traits) you may give off as a first impression to the outside world. According to the book, The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need by Joanna Woolfolk, she asserts that our personality is a blend of our Sun Sign in combination with our ASC sign. This has some truth in it as our ASC can also represent our self-interests, how we process self-awareness, our goals, our objectives, & how we assert our self-sufficiency! Think of your ASC sign as the sign when you walk in a room full of people.

- You can find your ASC here! Below is my chart( credit from Astro.com) for my visual learners! The ASC will be on the left side of your chart (marked AC); usually your angular houses are marked! In this example, my ASC is in the sign of Sagittarius!

-Have you ever had someone guess your sun sign but they were wrong? Chances are, they probably are guessing your ASC sign!

-With that being said, let's get into it!!!!

ARIES ASC:

Adventurous and pioneering!

Typically the ones to be "the first" at something.

Likes to get shit done! Act first ask questions later kind of energy.

Leader of the pack vibes.

Possibly have a very muscular, strong body.

When they walk in the room, they give such a strong sense of power, strength, and exuberance!

Possibly can be red-headed. Aries rules the color red and also rules the head. Doesn't mean every red-head is an Aries ASC though. Or they may like to wear alot of red.

They can give a direct, kinda bossy attitude but also a very free-child-like attitude I love it!!

Be careful with sharp objects. Sharp objects like knives are ruled by Mars (Mars rules Aries) and you may be a bit more accident prone so be careful, according to Woolfolk.

TAURUS ASC:

Very stable and calm energy when they walk in the room.

Patient & steadfast people.

Love the arts, could be talented at composing music esp!

Love comfort and the comfort their materials bring them.

Can have super beautiful necks. Necks/throats are ruled by Taurus.

Also, they may have larger, rounder eyes ooooo so cute!! Almost like a doe.

Can accumulate wealth over time.

Loves security and things that make them feel safe.

Many people think they are lazy, but that is not the case. A Taurus ASC does not believe in wasting time on things that don't bring them joy or comfort. They are hardworking, if it means they can attain the goals they set out for!! Once again, THEY ARE NOT LAZY!

GEMINI ASC:

Witty & charming.

Extremely smart and sociable.

Also can thrive in the entertainment industry as actors, writers, TV hosts, or comedians. They can really captivate an audience with their social and witty behavior!

Gemini rules the arms & hands, so they can have really nice hands/arms. If Venus is in aspect to their ASC, this can possibly point to someone who is a hand model.

The type to always want to be constantly stimulated and learn something everyday so they don't get bored.

May like to travel alot or move alot.

They also can marry more than once in their lives.

Extremely intellectual communicators. Very good with using their words as their best assets!

Could have big, wide eyes. This is just a personal take as I have seen multiple Gemini risings with big, wide eyes.

CANCER ASC:

Love security & comfort.

May have a oval face or round face. The moon rules Cancer so I won't be surprised if your face is shaped as round as the moon.

Sensitive to other's emotions & intuitive on how people may feel or react.

Amazing creatives. They use their emotions to make the best projects. Some of their projects (story writing for example) can be based on their lives at home or their hometown.

On the outside they may come off reserved and even cold. This is the "hard on the outside soft on the inside" effect. Deep down they are very soft, sweet, giving, & sensitive.

They want public recognition for their efforts, as you should!!!

According to Woolfolk, they are very good with saving money and handling it as well. Being the opposite sign of Capricorn (the sign of conservation), I am not surprised since opposing signs do share qualities of each other in one way or another.

LEO ASC:

Very grand people and luxurious YESSSS BITCH!!!

People may notice their hair first. Know how Leo is the lion? We see the lion's mane (or hair) first. This also applies for Leo ASCs.

A personal take- Leo ASC have this sun-kissed glow about them (lol pun intended). It's like their skin is so bright and glowy and it is so beautiful.

Give off a very happy and exuberant energy.

Extremely likeable people.

Views life as a stage!

Prides themselves on being a leader and delegator.

Can easily find fame or people will scout them out easily.

Also can be surrounded by alot of influential people. This helps their image if they want to be famous one day. Get to networking!!!

Can have a very nice back. Leo also rules the back.

VIRGO ASC:

Another personal take: why do so many Virgo ASC or Virgo placements have to wear glasses? That's interesting.

May have a frail looking body, but that does not mean they are sick yall.

Looks at life through a filter. Meaning, they like to hold on to valuable information that they can actually use and apply in their life.

^Yet, this can also mean that they may become too dependent on details to make decision. Don't forget to look at the bigger picture.

They love order and reason.

Thrive in intellectual pursuits. Especially if they are scientific and not philosophical.

Likes to gain rewards from their own efforts and not due to what others think. They love to listen and be assured in their own reasoning as YOU SHOULD!!!

May forget to take others' opinions into consideration.

Could come off shy and distant.

May own property in their later lives? Idk but Woolfolk mentions this and if anyone can chime in here I would be happy to hear it!

-That's it for PART 1! Part 2 will be out tomorrow!

-Also, to show your appreciation, do feel free to tip me! I have so much more content I want to teach and tell yall and I'm excited! You can tip me at my cashapp: $DellyRelly if you appreciate my content in more ways than just following me! Anywho, see yall tomorrow!

-Claude

#astrology notes #astrology basics #learning astrology #ascendant #astrology observations #aries ascendant #taurus ascendant #gemini ascendant #cancer ascendant #leo ascendant #virgo ascendant #astrology blog #astro notes

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ihatebnha · 2 years

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lol i don’t know if this is too personal or something, and you totally don’t have to answer if you’re uncomfortable or anything! but i need tips with masturbating??

basically, how do you make it feel like really really good for yourself? do u use ur fingers?

again u don’t have to answer!!

OKAY, totally not too personal because what better place to talk about something like this than a space like here? Honestly, I'm sorta flattered you even asked me in the first place because I know how personal (and frustrating) it can be to have questions like this and no answers.

As with everything though, masturbating is very much a different experience for everyone and NOTHING is wrong with you just because you don't feel like it's as easy as it may seem for others! Everyone obviously has different responses to bodily functions and that's 100% okay (even if that response is nothing)... so I want to make it known that this is just my history/some things that I do to help ME with yerking, so if they don't work for you, it's not your fault (and if anyone wants to weigh in, feel free)!!!

(warning: vagina, penetration, toys, SEX-ED-ish talk ahead!)

I am pretty much a clitoral stimulation person when it comes to masturbating. I have/do/can use my fingers and I have/do/can put (very thin) things inside me, but ever since getting a vibrator (3-4 years ago, at this point), I almost exclusively use that to get myself off and very rarely include penetration (though it does happen).

I would say... it's honestly somewhat of a learning process figuring out, like. WHAT feels the best for you + HOW you actually feel comfortable doing it. Certain positions are definitely more comfortable than others (like for example. I literally cannot. CAN'T. jerk off in the bath or shower, however, I can when I'm sitting at my desk or laying on my back in bed even though I know people who it's the opposite for), and certain toys can feel differently, too. Some can be too strong, not strong enough, or even... idk the word... cause different experiences when orgasming.

(Like with only vibrations or my fingers, I'll keep the damn things on me until they die. With sunctiony-action, I tap out after 2-3 orgasms)

It's all about experimenting to find what those things are for you, and similarly, like... figuring out what actually arouses you.

For me, I really like petting (meaning: I get turned on from my skin being rubbed)... so if I pet myself with enough intention, I can turn myself on. Or if I decide what I'm in the mood for and then look at my favorite porn-y websites (whether they're twitter accounts, videos, pictures, actual sites, etc.)... I can put myself in the mood that way, too.

One thing I learned about kinda recently is that everyone has a different arousal time. This was mostly in regard to penetration because it has to do with the swelling of your G-spot, but I think the sentiment still stands that it might take you 10-20-30+ minutes to get yourself warmed up enough for things to actually feel good. Maybe this means... rubbing your body (nips and crotch especially), looking at different materials, any kind of foreplay, etc... but, I think some people don't give themselves enough time before going at it to actually make sure their body is ready before trying to reach clitoral/penetration pleasure.

SO I guess what I'm trying to say it, don't be afraid to explore!!! Research different toys and try different positions! bed, bath, shower, desk, floor, on your stomach, knees up + etc. + MORE!!!!! Touch your body the way a lover would touch you even if it's nonsexually!!!!!!!!! And give yourself time, too... it's taken me like [redacted] years to finally, FINALLY get the hang of things and make myself feel good in ways I understand.

BUT AHHHH! I really hope this helps ( and is readable, too) and I hope you keep me updated on your journey!!! You're not alone and you're not broken (no matter what happens) and I'm rooting for both you and your (insert genital here). You'll figure it out eventually <333

(And I probably shouldn't be telling you this because I've heard it's somewhat bad for you (someone please confirm or deny this)? But... try masturbating when you have to pee. [Something I don't really understand, blah blah blah] in AFAB anatomy specifically... a full bladder can push on the G-spot (I THINK) and that can be/feel really stimulating.

At least, it was something that really helped me get the hang of things when I was in my early teens and thought I'd literally never be able to get horny LOOOOL. But then it worked itself out (even if I do get slightly horny now when I have to pee really bad. but SHHHH don't tell me that it's bad lalalalala)!

Though you didn't hear that from me.)

AND just for fun, here's every single vibrator I've ever used. I can go into more detail about each one, but (links to sex toys so PLEASE be alone)...

this - it's on sale, buy one and have your shit rocked. I'm lowkey scared of it

this - not worth the price imo. i used it for 30 minutes straight once (which the instructions say NOT to do), and tho my orgasms kinda sucked, it literally made one of my labia bleed and despite the short usage time, my clit felt as though it had been longer. it's weird but i wouldn't say i hate it actually. i think i just need to like. spread my legs a bit LOL

this - ADORED and i bought like three of them but each of them ended up dying very quick so im planning on trying another version of it i saw at Spencer's asjflkaskd. it's like... the strongest thing I've ever owned and i think it kinda ruined me because it was also the FIRST thing i ever owned. battery life was phenomenal (until they crapped out), it lasted like 3+ hours

this - not worth the price but very discreet. i think i put it up me once and then it immediately shot out when i turned it on because i wasn't ready for the strength LOOOL

this GREAT for the price, had for over six months and still no issues, i don't use it for g-spot stimulation bc my hole is SMALL but. i'd love to, tbh. worth every penny considering the strength isn't horrible and it's affordable as fuck for a vibrator.

AND this - i got it for free and it actually vibrates super nicely but is a fucking pain in my ass since it's battery operated (this one says it's on sale for $4 w/ code rn so I say: buy it if u have the funds!). i use it mostly in bed when i need a quick nut.

#okay now im gonna do homework #but i hope this is... legible!!!#and helps somewhat!!!#i didn't know what exactly i was supposed to say at first so i just ran with what felt right #LMFAOOOOO IDK but #good luck bestie i did my best #sflkasd 😖💛🥺😖💛🥺😖💛🥺#bye now #slajfnrajksdnfk im blushing #eeee #ask #anon #caitie chats #sx talk

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shijas · 3 years

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touched-starved megumi slowly being acclimatised to touch really lives rent free in my head.

like, his childhood was pretty all over the place, and he clearly spent middle school getting into fights and straight up brooding, so it’s make sense for touch in megumi’s mind to be associated with strength and violence and pain and vulnerability, the latter two things would especially be hard for megumi to live with i think???? i don’t really know how to explain??? but like we see that uncontrolled vulinerabilty, and leaving yourself vulnerable is like putting yourself on a wanted list for shamans. and so touch, in megumi’s eyes, should only occur with a few specific purposes and those purposes usually weren’t the most pleasant experiences in his mind. i assume people only touched him for: training/sparring, which is literally allocated time when someone can just straight up, inflict harm; someone deciding to fight him out of jealousy or revenge or fear or some sort of negative emotion; and in the worst case scenario people are touching him to heal him because in some capacity he’s weak, he was not strong enough to do whatever he needed to do without injury. i think healing touches, when the touch has to be gentle because fundamentally megumi is already vulunerable and already hurting would sting the most, like emotionally and physically because sometimes touch, even gentle touch, do he hurting tho... (this got long, but for how nobara/yuji break this pattern keep reading!)

and then nobara and yuji arrive and it’s like a hurricane of positive touching. yuji is affectionate!! physical touch is definitely a part of his love languages and so yuji just enjoys giving hugs!! yuji likes high fives!! and fist bumps!! and holding hangs while swinging them in the space between eachother while walking, even though it’s kind of childish. and megumi doesn’t know how to say no to these things, to the boundless enthusiasm that is yuji!! and he also feels a little guilty because he kinda dragged yuji into this world, away from his friends and the familiar comfort/touch he was used too. so megumi doesn’t like, consciously, try to stop any of the touch despite his general aversion. instead he indulges yuji to the best of his ability, because he comes to find that it’s not always bad and he doesn’t really mind; it takes a while to fully like not have a defensive, fight or flight response to the touches and he defo judo flips and sucker punches yuji over and over, because yuji is 1000000% a sneak affection attacker. the closest touch has ever been to ‘nice’ for megumi is probably healing for his stupid amount of serious wounds, and as both an apology and his first steps in reciprocation, megumi applies the gentleness of healing touches he remembers to the injuries he (accidentally??) gives yuji, because all he really about touch that isn’t supposed to hurt is how to rub softly against a spot that will probably bruise, and how to wrap or plaster a cut from a judo flip that led to some scrapes, he’s very good at icing bumps and twists and strains; and so they put themselves back together like that, and yuji keeps up his ‘surprise back hug events’ like they don’t straight up lead to a bruised sternum.

nobara breaks down the ‘touch is violence, touch is pain and pain is bad’-thing even faster than yuji, because she’s lived by her philolosphy as an affectionate puncher, a sweet kicker; she’s defo the type to bite your fingers and pinch your arm, but it’s well and truly out of all the love she cannot contain in her heart (which frustrates her a little bit so she will give you a sharp jab in retribution for feelings). what helps uncross the wires of megumi’s learnt behaviour (or maybe cross them idk) that ‘touch and violence and therefore bad’, is that her teasing and, honestly barely painful, ribbing is always interspersed by the softest of touches that aren’t tinged by the smell of antiseptic, blood or pity. this type of touch gets more frequent the more comfortable they get with eachother (think learning to lean on eachother post yuji death), like nobara will say ‘ew’ while forcing megumi to lay his head in her lap when they’re tryna catch their breath during training, and if his towel is nearby she’ll pat the sweat off his forehead and then complain about said sweat just because she knows he likes listening to her complain about mundane stuff; and she’ll make a million and one spiky sea urchins puns (did you know the japanese word for urchin is uni and linguistically meguni is a hilarious pun that i can see happening in canon) but is the first to rake her fingers through the mess of megumi’s hair, if she noticed he’s tried and hasn’t been taking care of himself. like yeah she throws her pens at him when he tries to help her with their maths homework, but her aim is so scary good it’s funny, and he can always throw them back and she won’t really get any more angry, and so they throw pens at eachother and laugh about it and nobara sketches random patters on to megumi’s skin with the pen she almost used to impale his eye.

anyway the point i’m getting at (probably incomprehensible into this mess of hc and meta) is: yuji and nobara come along, and suddenly, touch isn’t something that burns a little, isn’t something that spooks, isn’t something that requires the tightening of megumi’s jaw and his ribs and his spirit, and of course, sometimes it gets a little overwhelming (WHICH IS OKAY!! TOUCH AS STIMULATION IS OVERHWELMING SOMETIMES AND THATS OKAY AND VALID, EVEN IF YOURE AN AFFECTIONATE OR TOUCHY PERSON!!) and megumi needs to like take a couple of steps back. and they talk about it, because communication is key, and boundaries are healthy things to put in place, and by god the first years will try and build as safe and healthy a relationship between the three of them as they possibly can! and yeah they talk about it, and some days touch is too much for of them and that’s okay, affection, fondness, compassion can be shown in other ways, through other actions and they’ll utilise those a bit more as easily as they utilise touch a bit less, and slowly but surely, megumi becomes a lot less touch-starved and starts to seek it out on his own and initiate it in ways that are comfortable to him, like learning to braid hair so he can play with nobara’s or grabbing yuji’s hand first while their walking or just pressing his thigh into whoever he’s sitting next to in class and that’s fine and that’s good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i’m very much attached to this idea.

bonus gojo (as per usual): when megumi became his ward, for obvious, bitter, reasons he wasn’t really tryna like touch. this kid. riling megumi up was easy enough with just words and i feel like firstly, teasing is a part of gojo’s love language in a mirror of how it’s a part of nobara’s (mmmmmmm gojo and nobara parallels are another brain worm that EATS me) and secondly, gojo goes through his own thing with touch, and like affection. as someone whose essentially raised on an absolutely, ridiculous, pedestal and then successfully surpasses even the heights of that pedestal to basically become a living legend AND the whole physical, literal thing with infinity or limitless (or whatever his cursed technique is i’m sorry i didn’t pay attention to the cursed energy explanation any of the times it came up) ANYWAY, so gojo and megumi probably both touch-starved idiots. but, like gojo does care for megumi, like as his student and as this kid he watched grow up, like ofc he does because he’s not a completely useless person. and so he definitely encourages nobara and yuji’s plan to positively reinforce touch in megumi’s brain and slowly, for fear of being straight up bitten, endeavours to extend the casual affection he easily applies to the other two, to megumi too. idrk the logistics of it, but i think it’d be cute for one day gojo putting his hand out to ruffle megumi’s hair, but like not imposing his hand, like it’s just out and about really, and usually megumi nopes or hisses or whatever other gremlin mood he’s decided to incorporate to the finite number of facial expressions he’s willing to make, but today he’s feeling charitable and lets gojo ruffle his hair, kinda like a cat ya know, like leans into it a bit in a very clear you have permission to pet!!!! and gojo’s just jojo sobbing through his blindfold like “oh my god my son loves me” and megumi is regretting not biting him.

#fushiguro megumi #jujutsu kaisen meta #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #itadori yuji #kugisaki nobara #gojo satoru #HMMMM I DO BE PROJECTING THOOOOOOOOO #JAJSJDJJDJDJDJD #like i do be projecting jsjdjdjdj #but yeah guys clearly i have a lot of feelings about being touchstarved and megumi #i the gang just gets really close and comfy and i also think megumi wouldn’t be a good at touch person #some of us like affection and some of us get overstimulated when people keep touching us and we deserve to be represented #lmaoooo i’m really sticking to my plan to saturate the tag huh #i’ll rb this with actual blog archive tags after #ALSO!! people write more nobara megumi friendship please #like they spent months together as the only first years #they have shared trauma from it all #let them bond #healthy f/m friendships please i’m begging you

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teaboot · 4 years

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Hey I just wanted to ask you something I don't know if its personal so maybe I'll start with me, my psychiatrist told me that I have asperger's syndrome and like my mom keeps asking me like what does that means because I think she sees people with autism as stupid and I'm at the top of my class so she feels like it's a mistake, I personally go mute for months sometimes except for like oral tests, and idk I forget about having a body and so I hit onto walls when I'm focused on something but *

"...*is not so exaggerated like I'm pretty functional I just forget that there are walls and doors and that I can't just transport me to the other room or so,I mean I feel like I'm just trying to find what my "weird or autistic" traits are to justify the diagnosis,I didn't asked my psychiatrist to elaborate on that and so I was wondering, what would you say that your autistic traits are?Also just in case,I know that autistic people can be hella smart and I think that you are really wise I admire you"

Thank you so much, that's very sweet of you to say!

Honestly, I'm sort of in a similar situation- My parents' reaction was to say, "you're too smart to be autistic" or, "Everyone of ~your intelligence~ is a little weird in the head, anyways", and then. Expect me to live up to all the positive stereotypes without ever getting bogged down by the negative realities?

This might not be very helpful at all of me to say, but as an adult who grew up in a rather unpleasant environment, there really isn't much help for a number of things except getting old and independant enough to move out, and then just accepting that their perception of reality isn't open to negotiation. You can try debating it, or meeting them on common ground with scientific basis, but in my case....

....well. There's just some things I now know not to talk about at family gatherings.

I'm sorry, I know that's probably not very helpful or heartening to hear.

As for my personal grab bag of symptoms? I tend to hyperfocus on personal projects. When I'm really invested in an art piece, I often forget to eat or sleep or drink, and the only way I've learned to snap out of that is that if my hands are shaking or I'm falling over a lot, I probably need to eat something and lay down for a while, because otherwise- and yeah, not the healthiest motivator- otherwise I might start fucking up my hard work.

I also get overwhelmed by overlapping noises- if two people are talking at once, even if one is on a radio or TV show, I can't hear either of them and it stresses the shit out of me. White noise, like in malls or assemblies, also tends to burn my energy pretty fast.

Things like leaf blowers, people whistling indoors, and emergency sirens are physically painful. Repetitive noises like a bouncing rubber ball, sniffling, dogs licking things, and low-frequency vibrations from massage chairs, earthquakes, distant bass music, and some fluorescent lighting systems are impossible to ignore, which ranges from irritating to distressing, depending on my headspace du jour.

I hate bland food with a passion. It tends to make me nauseaus. I like lots of spice, lots of sugar, lots of sour and hot and acidic. I love strong flavours, and if I'm cooking for friends and family I often have to remind myself to tone down the seasonings for them.

Some textures make me genuinely ill, too- most types of meat, fat, and other animal bits result in.... Bad times for all. Polyester towels suck ass. Microfiber cloth. Thick cotton knit material. Any fabric covering my forearms. Thin, elastic denim. Vinyl. Polar fleece.

On the flip side, I looooove woven cotton blankets. Cotton sheets, cotton bedding- cold, heavy duvets are good, too. Acrylic, so long as it doesn't get damp. I have.... Perhaps a little bit of a problem here, as I do... Maybe, possibly, get a little impulsive with buying rugs, throws, and blankets when I come across one that feels right.

All my cups and bowls are handmade out of clay. I'm OK with smooth ceramics, but stoneware feels happy in my hands. I think of it as a treat, like packing a bit of chocolate with my lunch, or eating a whole bag of popcorn by myself. Again, I.... May go a little overboard when I come across A nice-feeling piece of dishware.

Basically, from what I understand, a lot of folks on the spectrum are under and over stimulated by various sensory inputs.

Me, I gravitate towards taste, inertia, tactile sensation, temperature, and dark lighting, while I find myself avoiding, limiting, or minimizing sound, light, color, oral texture, and smell.

As for more stereotyped behaviors, I find organizing things such as legal documents, filing cabinets, paint swatches, hardware, coins, stones, or colors to be very soothing and almost meditative. I go through special interests fairly often, and have been 'into' things like animals, insects, natural history, and art since before I could walk. I can't explain why they're such alluring subjects, they just make me happy.

I didn't realize until recently that I do stim, as well- I rock, sway, growl, swish water around, hang upside-down, rotate my thumbs, rub fabric, twirl coins, and flex my hands. I also (rarely) seem compelled to jump up and down in circles very fast when I'm particularly excited, or flap my arms against my sides like a penguin.

When I'm overstimulated, I go.... I'm not sure if you could call it 'nonverbal'. I get the feeling I COULD speak, it's just.... Overwhelmingly difficult. Usually I find a dark space or a corner away from people, put a coat or something over my head, cover my ears, close my eyes... Sometimes deliberate eye contact is hard, or I can't say more than one or two words at a time, or I find myself relying more on a hum or a grunt to communicate that I'm listening.

It... Probably all sounds weird to a neurotypical who may be reading, but I'm perfectly happy with myself as I am. I wouldn't change it if I could, except perhaps to minimize some of the more irritating things.

Mostly, my biggest peeve is being treated like a cool new pet or accessory. "Oh, this is my person with Autism- they're great at cleaning, you should get one!"- yeah, that can fuck right off. I'm right here, I can hear you, I'm a person. A little respect goes a long way.

But, whoops, here I've gone on a ramble- you want the best advice I have, though? Become comfortable with the person you are. Accept and seek out what things bring you happiness. Don't get hung up on the negatives. Love your experience, if you can, and don't worry about validating anything- you are who you are, and the words we use to explain ourselves fall so, so short when faced with the complexity of our individual existence.

The way I see it, the day before your diagnosis is the same as today, you just have one more tool to understand yourself with. The decision of how and if you choose to explain this to those around you is entirely yours to decide!

I know this kind of went off the rail of your question. My answers are a little limited. I hope I could help anyways! Good luck!!

#Long post #teaboot

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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I don’t often muse upon PJO, but when I do, its random as hell.

Anyway, tonight’s thought (singular, also: derogatory, as in very possibly a mistake) is about exploring aspects of the Greek gods that are extrapolations of like, what they’d be like in the modern world instead of just in terms of their ancient myths.....and how that might widen the scope of their demigod children and their powers.

Like take Hephaestus for instance. God of the forge and fire, of invention and artifice......now widen the scope on those things through the lens of the modern age.....might he also be considered the god of modern science, not just in terms of things like engineering and technology, but also physics, chemistry? Or would those things fall more under Athena’s purview......unless you separated them into finer divisions. Like, you could consider Athena’s overview of knowledge and wisdom to make her the goddess of science and higher learning or whatever in general........OR you could separate it like.....Hephaestus is the god of natural or physical sciences like physics and chemistry, and Athena is the goddess of not just wisdom and tactics but things like psychology, computer sciences, etc.

Or OR get Dionysus up in there too, and make it like Hephaestus is the god of chemistry, of chemical reactions and the like, Athena is the goddess of physics, of the most full and complete understanding of the physical universe via things like the unified field theory and its comprising forces of electromagnetism, strong and weak nuclear force, etc, and then Dionysus the god of biology, hmmmm.....

Cuz imagine then, demigod children of Hephaestus, where instead of pyrokinesis, some get powers like transmuting elements.......oh man, the things you could do with that??? Not just lead into gold but they’d be terrors in battle because they could transmute the very air someone breathes into chlorine gas, blood into acid, flesh into stone. Or using that power defensively, making them able to keep guns from firing by dampening the chemical reaction that comes from igniting gunpowder, or just knocking someone out or putting them to sleep by just tanking their metabolic reactions. Mingling magic with modern know-how and creating their own version of truth serums by turning the water someone drinks into something akin to sodium pentathol when just brushing their fingers against someone’s glass, or rendering all drugs or toxins that might have been slipped into their drink null and void by transmuting them into harmless H20.

(I know that Luke was mentioned briefly as being good at making potions aka alchemy due to being a son of Hermes, but frankly, transmutation as a mastery of the periodic table makes waaaaay more sense for Hephaestus’ kids, I’m just saying. And plus the Greeks didn’t so much consider Hermes an actual god of alchemy as they more just kinda viewed him as their god of all things miscellaneous and tended to lump anything they didn’t have particularly strong feelings about and/or a grasp of under his umbrella. Hermes was really just the patron god of being random as fuck and oh great gods of Olympus I have no idea what I want to do with my life, give me a sign. Hermes: poofs into existence on their shoulder and says SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO GO BE GAY AND DO CRIME YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, DIVINE MANDATE, LETS GOOOOOOO).

Give children of Athena more practical applications for being heirs to her wisdom, knowledge and strategic acumen by also giving her dominion in the modern age over humanity’s quest to better understand the universe we live in and all its rules, the ins and outs of the laws that govern reality itself.......thus Annabeth and others’ potential acumen for magic being here not the end result of them stepping on Hecate and her kids’ toes, but rather more a function of making them the embodiment of ‘magic is just sufficiently advanced technology’ as they - via an innate and heightened understanding of the very nature of the physical universe - find holes in the fabric of space and time that let them slip from Point A to Point B as easily as crossing the street, play tricks with gravity and relativity and things that leave others baffled and amazed and them just shrugging and being like its all in the wrist, dude, and also, the fact that our mom just GETS reality in a way that everyone else will still be playing catch-up to a thousand years from now.

Children of Dionysus (yes I know he barely has any shhh we’re not paying attention to the series we’re just musing on demigod powers here) who combine the godhood of grapes and revelry with loud music and laughter......the way music can help with plant growth, because music is essentially just VIBRATIONS and vibrations stimulate activity in plant cells in a variety of ways.....and thus similar to Mr. D’s tricks with controlling vines and rapidly growing plants, AND his ability to affect the psyches of others, which is described as inflicting or curing madness and I’m like ehhhh do we have to describe it thus though.....put all that in a pot, shake it, not stir, and abrakadabra, alakazam, other psychic pokemon random Psyduck shout-out and voila! ALL of that could be afixed to and made the end product of godly and demigodly control and manipulation of vibrations, cuz Dionysus is literally the god of just vibing in all its infinite forms.....and thus its all just about how vibrations affect plant life on a cellular level, how they can affect brain chemistry in a variety of ways, triggering a lot of the more primal centers/functions of the brain, etc. You kids are driving me crazy, he’d yell at his demigod kids, and they’re like umm wow, like ACK CHOO UGHLY, father, welcome to the 21st century, all we’re really doing is directly stimulating the prefrontal cortex of your cerebellum with our banging rock music, and its making you angy, what about it?

And speaking of actually, if we and by we I mean me cuz I am and its wheee, are theorizing about Athena’s brood getting to be all magical wunderkind whizkids with their scientific acumen and divine cheat-sheets for the physical universe, maybe Aphrodite and her kids could snatch up those psychology and psychiatry job titles instead. Love, desire, also things like obsession, hyper-fixation......is Cabin Mighty Aphrodite really just pheromone central or are its campers more like magical dopamine and serotonin factories just pumping out good vibes all around them, being like come hang out, its free brain juice. Like, imagine kids of Aphrodite who just by their mere presence could help the legions of ADHD demigods focus better, concentrate easier, get shit done because the goddess of passion and her children like....have the gift of helping people to more productively pursue their passions in ALL forms, not just the physical desires they hold for others but the passions they hold for arts and crafts and sports and y’know, saving the world on magical coming-of-age quests when their milkshakes bring all the monsters to the yard.

And then Ares not just as a god of war and conflict, but of entropy....the tendency of the universe to trend towards disorder, randomness, uncertainty....the kind of things that so often incite or enflame conflict......but applied at large not just to interpersonal dynamics but to the world itself. With his children possessing demigod abilities that disrupt or weaken bonds, both in the form of emotional ties between allies and commitments towards various ideals or courses of action, but also the ability to PHYSICALLY weaken bonds, resulting in an enemy’s weapon falling apart at a touch, or increasing the instability or volatility of an object so it blows up akin to how Gambit of the X-Men’s powers work and can turn even playing cards into a weapon, etc, etc.

And don’t even get me started on Hermes! No, seriously, don’t. Mostly because I haven’t thought that one through yet and I got nothing. I mean I got some things but they are nebulous and have yet to spring forth fully formed from my head like Athena from the fuckhead of Zeus, that absolute fuckhead of legend and yore. In my defense though, I haven’t like, eaten any primordial goddesses of thought and memory, so.......like, idk, I’m taking the longer route here I guess.

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wherearemyglassesbro · 4 years

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A h/etalia Umbrella academy au but it isn’t actually one, it’s just inspired by UA kinda...idk

//Uh keep in mind that this is going straight from the drafts onto your dash and uhhh there will for sure be spelling errors so don’t roast me lmao

Roman ‘Roma’ Vargas: An eccentric billionaire who founded the Academy of the World’s Finest (or the AWF for short). He gets bored very quickly and went from buying rockets to building hotels to managing casinos to buying children. A very crazy sequence of events! (Roma has many secrets but I don’t feel like fleshing it’s out rn this is just the bare bones of this just for fun!! And if you’ve seen both seasons of UA you probably already knows what you need to know). One faithful day, October 1st 1989, multiple beautiful babies were born from women who were not pregnant the day they were born. This phenomenon made itself known to Roma and he was off to find as many of these children that he could! He sent his staff all over the world to buy these children. He successfully purchased 9.

Number 1, purchased for $10,000 in Las Vegas: Number 1 was picked to be number 1 because Roma thought he was such a strong looking baby. Alfred was actually purchased fifth out of his siblings but no one knows that except Roma himself. Alfred, from a young age, was able to cause an obscene amount of damage. When he held Roma’s hand while learning to walk, he crushed the bones in his hand. When he kicked a soccer ball down the hallway, it went through the wall like a meteor. When he knocked on Arthurs door to bother him, the door snapped in half (and Art screamed bloody murder). He has an insane amount of strength without even trying! It was very hard for him to get a handle on it because he’s so spontaneous and isn’t really one to think before acting but once he and hs siblings started training for hero work?? That was his motivation to be better, to control his power to use it against bad guys!!! He’s the golden boy of the family, he never disobeys Roma and will never, even now, say anything bad about him. ‘Hey! He’s my dad, he saved me from whatever shithole life I was destined to have in Nevada. I couldn’t be more thankful for my life! And mom, if you’re watching this...Thanks. I don’t know who you are but...Thank you’

Number 2, purchased for $25,000 in Le Mans: Number 2’s power presented itself only after he learned to talk. Francis’s power of persuasion is both a blessing and a curse for him. He’s struggled greatly with being ‘number 2’, he wants the same validation and attention as ‘number 1’ gets. He doesn’t think it’s fair. He often used his power for bad things arond the house like ‘J'ai entendu une rumeur that you broke every finger on your right hand!’ that was a very gruesome morning for Alfred and the scolding that Francis got scarred him for life as he was insulted and cursed out in front of his family. Even after that, he still kept up his happy exterior. He was also usually the face of the AWF, appearing on magazine covers which he may or may not have influenced the writers just a bit. His power is strong but he does not use it on Roma because he’s terrified of what would happen if he did!! As he’s gotten older, he’s falls off the wagon a little but he’s trying to make a solid recovery. Also, when he was 7 he found out he was born in France! He then forced himself to become totally fluent in French and taught himself to have a French accent too. Whoopie....

Number 3, purchased for $1000 in Sicily: Number 3 is a dangerous child, he was from day one. When he was born, he was presenting a 116 degree fever yet he was acting totally normal. His mother was convinced he was the devil and was more than happy to sell him off to Roma. Roma felt a deep connection to Lovi from the start....Lovi looked like him. He looked like he could be his biological son. Lovi got special treatment from Roma often but he still felt overshadowed by his siblings. I mean, a majority of his siblings are pretty blondes. He felt left out often. But he would channel that anger into training and cooking! He has a trick that he likes to do, cracking an egg into his palm and cooking it. That one impresses Alfred every time! Not that he’s hard to impress. Lovi would often push himself too far in his quest to be the best and snap at his siblings, leaving him even more alienated from them. He spent a lot of time around Roma and Feli, mostly Roma. He got a lot of one-on-one training with him and a lot of praise too. All he ever wanted to do was be perfect for his father. He set bad guys on fire, did interviews on live tv, set fire to a warehouse full of gang members, all kinds of stuff that he never would have done on his own. Stuff that he didn’t want to do. All so he could impress Roma

Number 4, purchased for $700 outside of Berlin: Number 4 has always been hyper and loud! But his powers suddenly developed over night, which was terrifying for him. Gilbert awoke in the middle of the night to pee one night and was met with a ghost in the bathtub. Naturally, Roma encouraged him to speak with ghosts and would make him go to cemeteries to talk to the dead. Ghosts scared him so he’d secretly take Benadryl to knock himself out but as he got older, he realized that he couldn’t be scared anymore cause these ghosts needed a friend :( so he used these ghosts to fight in missions and in return, he’d play games with them and chat with them, just being friend with the ones who had a hard time crossing over :’) he likes using his powers for good but feels like he’s taking advantage of his ghost friends sometimes which took the fun out of crime fighting

Number 5, given to Roma for free outside of Kyoto: Number 5 got a late start compared to his siblings. His powers took awhile longer to manifest and he had trouble learning to read. But once he caught up, he proved himself to be the smartest out of all of them. Smarter than some of them combined, even. Kiku still often indulged in his siblings antics but at the same time, he felt he was somewhat superior to them. He learned to poof himself from one side of the room to the other, starting off small. He figured out he could time travel one night when Francis and Gil were hammered and knocked a vase over. Kiku felt every muscle in his body tense, then a sensation of falling, then he was suddenly 10 seconds in the past!! Wow!! He caught the vase before it could hit the ground and kicked Fran so he fell down, leaving him to sleep on the foyer floor while Gil just stood there like ‘wtf...?’. When Roma started berating him for ‘getting too cocky’, Kiku threw a bit of a hissy fit and decided to jump to the future!! He did and landed himself in the aftermath of the 2019 apocalypse, unable to get back home cause he wore himself out and had no idea what he had even done to get himself there in the first place lmao sucker.

Number 6, purchased for $10,000 in York: Number 6 was an extremely fussy baby. All he did was cry and cry and cry, it was very frustrating for Roma since the other babies were somewhat easier to handle. Arthur was indeed a handful. When he was hungry, baby food tins and spoons would float out of the pantry and over to his highchair. When he wanted to torment his siblings, he’d take their things and throw them across the room with his mind. When a sinking was annoying him, he’d simply lift them up and shove them out of his room. Easy. He is probably the smartest or second smartest of his siblings. He isn’t the most athletic but he spent lots of time studying, so much so that Roma had to constantly buy new books for Art to read to keep him mentally stimulated. He was often a voice of reason though no one listened to him. When fighting he was very useful!! He never needed to get close to the bad guys, he could throw them around without moving a muscle! The only downside is that it wore him out after awhile...Ugh. He avoided the media but did do interviews with his mask on, encouraging kids his age to stay in school! By the time Art was 13, he was taking college level tests and reading college level material so...he’s one smart cookie

Number 7, given to Roma for free in undisclosed location in Russia: Number 7 is too powerful for her own good. At a young age, Francis was told to convince her that she had no powers. This was done in secret, only Roma, the house staff, Francis and Kiku knew it happened. Everyone else was oblivious and left out of the loop. Vanya has the ability to shake the earth, to cause obscene amounts of damage in the blink of an eye. Her power was something that Roma could have never prepared himself for. So from that day on, Vanya was a ‘normal girl’. She watched from the sidelines as her siblings got to train and fight. She sat with Feli to paint or sew or just talk. She went through every day feeling worthless, like she wasn’t meant to be a part of this family. She channeled her feelings into art, painting canvasses worth of rainy cities or melting people. She made a series of paintings depicting her siblings’ abilities through chunky brushstrokes and vibrant colors. Each painting sold for over one million dollars. She thought her art career would impress her father. It didn’t.

Number 8, purchased for $15,000 and 10 cows outside of Oslo: Number 8 was always a quiet boy, he kept to himself and Roma thought he may be powerless as well for almost 5 years until lightning struck the house...on a bright sunny day...not a cloud in the sky. Turns out Lukas and Kiku were arguing. They were only 5 so they were just shrieking and yelling nonsense then BAM!!!! Lighting. Roma was so terrified but Lukas was giggling and shooting soarks out of his hands, his hair sticking up like crazy. He was always quiet and reserved, he spent a lot of time in the library or on the roof just looking out over the city. He didn’t like sneaking out of the house like his brothers and sisters did but he went ‘to keep an eye on them’...he always had fun though. He stayed away from the media and wore a mask that his most of his face so he wouldn’t be recognized. Sadly, in a tough fight in a hostage situation, Lukas was shot and killed when he was 15, right when he was starting to consider writing a book about hero work and how as he aged, he was becoming more confident in himself due to helping others. It was a tragic loss for his siblings

Number 9, purchased for $800 and a new car in La Coruna: Number 9 was successful from the start, surpassing her siblings in height very very fast. Her power just happens to be her speed. Carmen, as a baby, was a lot to handle since she crawled around the house at 40 miles an hour. Even her sleep schedule was quick, she’d take a 20 minute speed nap and have enough energy to run around for hours after. When she was introduced to the idea of being a hero, she agreed so fast that she nearly bit her tongue off. She always got her chores done quick, helped around the house, all of that since a task that would take 3 hours only took a few minutes for her. She was a great female role model and did many interviews for teen magazines to encourage girls to be their best, that has always been her message. She even wrote ‘GRLPWR’ on her cheeks in black paint before heading off to fight crime in case she had her picture taken. Roma wasn’t a huge fan of that but she didn’t care too much :) she has always stuck up for her sisters!! And she has always been close to Fran and Gil but as they got older, their interests began to differ so she found herself hanging with Vanya and Arthur more

Feliciano Vargas: Roma Vargas’s only biological son. He does not have powers and often felt left out when he was left behind while his siblings went on missions. He’s 2 years younger than the rest of them and is often referred to as ‘stupid little brother’ by Lovino which hurt his feelings. When he was a baby, they were like 2 and a half so they didn’t see him as ‘aww look my baby brother!’ They just found him annoying cause he cried a lot. Like his siblings, he never met his mom but he does feel good knowing that he will always have his dad. When he and the academy kids fight, he will often rub it in their faces that at least Roma is his biological dad. That really rubs salt in the wounds, huh? Feli has always gotten on well with Vanya, they got left behind all the time so they got to paint and play music together :) they made eachother very happy

Gilbert and Lukas: Gil didn’t really like Lukas much when they were younger cause Lukas was just...quiet and reserved. Gil is the exact opposite. But now that Lukas is dead, Gil pities him and hangs out with him. They trained a lot together but Gil got embarassed when they trained cause if someone were to walk in, they’d just see Gil shouting and punching at nothing so...They trained in the dark at 3am on the roof where they wouldnt be interrupted. Now that Gil is older, he can channel Lukas almostperfectly. Lukas has an almost totally physical form when Gil uses his powers, allowing Lukas to channel lightning the way he was able to when he was alive. Lukas doesn’t like doing that too often cause it’s a bit cruel, getting to feel alive when you’re not :/

Kuma: Kuma was a normal polar bear that was experimented on in a lab that Roma funded. The scientists combined his DNA with monkey and human DNA and after much trial and error, they were able to get his brain to process English. So he wears a collar that allows him to talk. He scolded the kids for running around in the house but then five minutes later he’d let them ride his back while HE ran around the halls :) he was like a fun uncle to them. He wore a bow tie :)

Wan yu: Roma fell in love with a woman from China when he was younger. She was studying culinary arts in Italy and he absolutely fell head over heels for her. But things didn’t work out. So once the tech came around, he had an advanced robot version of his first love created for the sole purpose of loving him and his children. She was programmed to be a great role model, compassionate, patient and...A good cook. The kids all called her mom or ma and even though she never technically had favorites, she was always fond of little Kiku. She was the one who taught him to read when he had trouble doing so and she’s stay up late with him in secret to help him catch up in other languages. The kids all had to learn Italian, English, Spanish, Greek and Russian bedore they were even 8 years old. Since Kiku took a bit longer to grasp that kind of stuff, she would sneak him down to the library to have one-on-one lessons with him. :) she was also very caring when it came to Alfred, she saw how hard he pushed himself sometimes and it hurt her to watch. She made cookies for him on especially rough days

Lukas’s death: Lukas’s death hit Arthur, Vanya and Gilbert especially hard. Arthur and Lukas bonded over similar interests, Lukas and Vanya played chess all the time and gossiped and Gilbert always thought that Lukas was the coolest sibling he had. His death was used as motivation for everyone else to continue training. Gilbert ‘summoned’ Lukas three days after his death and Lukas has followed him around ever sicne. Lukas wasn’t avtually summoned, he’d been secretly roaming the house for days and decided to just let Gil think he summoned him. Roma was depressed about his son’s death for a week or so but he never really allowed himself to feel negative emotions for too long so he was over it a bit...too quickly.

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1167

surveys by emptyliketheocean

Brand of cigarettes you smoke? I don’t smoke cigarettes, or at least I never buy my own packs.

Should you be trusted with a person's life? Idk, that’s for them to decide.

How's your life in general? I lost two relatives from Covid this week alone. So, not very dandy. Still in shock. Waiting for it to all finally crash down so I can grieve and mourn properly. Scared of more losses and hoping there aren’t any more to come.

Have you ever put lipstick on anything besides lips? I don’t wear makeup, but when my friends have put some on me in the past there were a couple of times they dabbed lipsticks on my cheeks.

Have you ever picked a fight you knew you would lose? Metaphorically speaking, yeah. I don’t get into physical fights.

What's something you think is crazy about the world? The concept of centibillionaires and the fact that there are multiple ones who exist.

What do you think about religion? I think the only upside to it is how it has helped save lives for some and how it serves as a guide for others to spread good in the world. Like if your religion has given you purpose and strength, that’s great. But ultimately, I’m not a fan and I most definitely don’t think religion is necessary to be a kind person. In fact, I think it works the opposite...most of the homophobes, misogynists, pro-lifers, and sexists I know are from the Christian faith. Cringe.

What about when religion causes violence? Well I definitely have a bone to pick with this lol. The only reason the Philippines is predominantly Catholic today is precisely that when the Spanish arrived, they used violence to forcingly convert Filipinos - who were then living in peace with their own culture, government, and religion system - to Christianity. And now we’re ‘celebrating’ 500 years of Christianity in the country this year, which was always so off to me because why are we celebrating colonization lol????????????? But anyway, yeah, that is another issue I have with religion. I want nothing to do with it.

What color is one of your hats? I have an off-white summer hat but I have literally never used it in public because it’s huge and it’s 100% going to draw attention.

How do you feel? My shoulders are sore and I’m feeling slightly irritated because of them. I’m also starting to get a bit hungry.

Have you ever gotten in trouble for laughing? A few times.

Something that makes you smile: Free food.

What do you think about surveys with lyrics as the title? Surveys with random lyrics usually end up being the ones with interesting questions, so I actually am more likely to check it out.

Do you have any clothes with small holes in them? Maybe one or two.

Do you think the way you live is really okay? I think I am already quite fortunate with what I have considering what others don’t, so it’s definitely been a while since I have complained about anything during this whole Covid situation, living-situation-wise. Even though we’ve lost a few things, like having to sell one of our cars and with my mom being retrenched, we still get by and have a roof over our heads with working water and electricity and a stocked pantry; and I make enough money to hand a portion of it to my parents twice a month and still treat myself with things I want. There is nothing to bitch about.

Do you know anyone other than a cop who has ever owned a cop car? No.

Have you ever felt fire? No, but electricity, yes. I’ve been shocked before but that was also my own fault lol.

Have you ever seen a person light themselves on fire? Jesus no.

Have you ever used crutches when you didn't need them? Yes. I used to horse around with Katreen’s crutches when she injured her legs in 3rd grade, when she wasn’t using them.

If you had 15 beers you would be: Dead.

Are you as bored as I am? No, I’m good.

Why are you taking this survey? I feel like it.

What would you say if a person asked you why your face was so messed up? “How do you want me to react?” Easiest way to shut a person up and passive aggressively tell them to watch what they say.

What would you do if your first love asked you back out? Be very confused and ask why the sudden decision.

What's your home life like? It’s very routine, due to having to stay at home. I work a 9–6 on weekdays, follow that up with dinner, and use a few hours to scroll through social media until it’s time to sleep. Then on weekends I use the free time to recharge by taking surveys and watch videos of whoever and whatever I’m interested in at the moment. Just waiting for all of this to blow over so I can finally do the things I’m meant to be doing.

Do you have a talent that you don't do anything with? I don’t write a lot for myself these days. I do write frequently for work, which is great - press releases, event scripts, all your PR essentials - but I don’t get stimulated enough since everything is written in the same tone. I really should pick up a notebook and pen soon...

Do you know anyone that is a lesbian? Yes. Not that she’s in my life anymore.

What do you think about your mom? I think she tries her best. But I wish she were more emotionally in touch. And that she starts being politically correct.

What do you think about your dad? He’s worked hard and continues to, and I appreciate all his efforts; and I can’t wait to be able to buy him all the things he wants.

Which parent do you respect the most? Who do you think? Hahahaha.

Is there anything someone could lie to you about that you couldn't forgive? I suppose, like cheating.

Who do you love unconditionally? My two best friends.

Pick an element. Oooookay? Zirconium.

Have you ever wasted a great amount of time and felt horrible about it? It always feels that way on weekends these days because there’s only so much that can be done while stuck at home because of Covid. But I do try to justify it by telling myself I already work too hard during weekdays so it’s ok to bum around at home and do nothing, because using the time to recharge is still productive.

What is something that's been said about you that isn't true? My mom has said a lot of hurtful things directed towards me that I internalized for a very long time, but I’ve since gained the strength to no longer let those words get to me.

Who do you want with you when you're scared? Anyone who can be calm while I’m not.

Know any bands that not many people have heard of? Many of the punk bands I listen to are virtually unknown on this side of the planet.

Do you have any advice for people in general? Don’t be racist.

What's something you like to do in the summer? Complain about the heat.

What's something you like to do in the winter? We don’t get winter here, but I’ve always thought I would love snow if I ever saw it, and that I would probably make a lot of snow angels and play snowball fights.

What do you think about marijuana? I don’t have a strong opinion on it as it’s still a very taboo topic where I’m from and I’ve also been lacking on research. I do know people who use it for recreational purposes and I’ve never been against that.

Do you wish anyone death? Just politicians.

Have you ever felt like you weren't getting anywhere with a person? Yes, it felt that way for a long time. I just was too afraid of confrontation to do anything about it.

What do you feel for the person you first fell in love with? Resentment and a whole lot of nothing.

Where are you? I’m in my bedroom.

Are you waiting for something? Hmm, not necessarily.

Who is someone you just think has a hole in their brain? People who still think Covid is a hoax.

A candy you like? Gummy anything.

Does any part of your body hurt at the moment? My shoulders and neck, hence the neck pillow I’ve since put on while taking this.

Explain how you got the last bruise you had. I honestly have no clue. I currently have a big black circle on my right thigh that just suddenly showed up, and I can’t recall a time I must’ve hit it somewhere.

Are you tired? A little bit because I got up as soon as I woke up, but I wanted to maximize my free time this Sunday before another work week starts. Last Friday would be our last non-working holiday in a while and we’re not getting another one until August. :(

Explain how you got a scar you have. A distant cousin hurled a glass jar towards me when I was 3, during a family reunion. He initially went for my eye because I guess he wanted to blind me, but he missed and ended up hitting my eyebrow instead. My mom has since banned him from talking to me ever since, and I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him since the incident.

Have you ever owned anything illegal? Illegal copies of movies I’ve torrented, sure.

What do you dream about? The most random scenarios. I’ll get the occasional nightmare, but those only happen when I’m going through a period of depression.

Do you ever daydream? Not anymore these days.

How do you feel about vegetarians? I don’t really think anything of them. There are days I’ll particularly feel for them because there aren’t a lot of restaurants with good vegetarian options where I live, though.

A fruit you like: Avocado, in very limited options.

Have you ever seen a person eat a bug? Only bugs that were already prepared a certain way and meant to be eaten; but I’ve never seen a person that just picked up a bug off the ground and went straight to chewing. I imagine I would freak out and gag.

Something you worry about too much: How much is in my bank account.

How do you feel about smoking? I hate how the smell clings to your clothes and all your things when you’ve been smoking or when you’ve been around people who smoke. I also wince when people pose with their cigarettes just to look badass and cool; but as someone who’s since picked up vaping as a habit, my once-intense hatred for smoking and smokers has since changed lol.

If you had to move out of state, where would you go? I would move to a big city. Somewhere noisier and with a lot of lights and foot traffic and general activity.

What is your favorite vampire-related movie? The Twilight Saga hahahahahaha

Is there a person you keep coming back to? My best friends, I guess?

If you're listening to music...Give me a lyric from the song you're listening to. I’m not listening to anything.

#survey #surveys

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flowerslightning · 4 years

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(Part 2) Cloud Strife and his Mental Illness

a.k.a Psychiatric Disorder

| 1. Memory | ⇦ Click if u havent read it yet

2. Hallucinations, Illusions and Delusions

Since these three things relate well with Cloud's troubled memories, I'll be talking about them first before jumping to his Confused Personality

This post will bore u a bit or maybe a lot 😂 it depends. If ure interested with psychiatric stuff, u'll find this enjoyable as much as i do

Disclaimer : I'm 21 and still a tiny meany student. During my intern at Psychiatric Department, I learned and witnessed psychiatric problems from real life patients. And since Cloud (my fav FF character) has psychiatric issues, I'll be sharing some of my knowledge and interpretation of Cloud's character. Im not diagnosing him, rather i'm giving my own opinion about his status

@nibelheiim created a post about dissociation, she explained about hallucination, PTSD and more. Come and check her out! Her words were more direct and easier to understand. She explained about Psychological matter and she's a real psychology student too!

While my explanation will be more focusing on Psychiatric Topic and words used will be more complicated (with grammar errors). My facts will be based on ICD 10 and DSM-IV

A lot of people were confused with these three terms - Hallucination Illusion Delusion - These terms associated with abnormalities of perception. It is important to understand that this abnormality holds two keys; ● 1. Perception is the process of becoming aware of what is presented through the sense organs. ● 2. Imagery is an experience originating within the mind that usually lacks the sense of reality that is part of perception.

Abnormalities of perceptions have 4 theme, but I'll be focusing on two major types that relate with Cloud: (i) Hallucinations ; (ii) Illusions. Some cases, perception can be normal in intensity and quality but has a changed meaning for the person who experiences it - it is called as Delusional Perception. It is not an abnormal of perceptions, rather it is a disorder of a person's thinking.

Try guessing, how many from these terms does Cloud has?

1. Hallucinations

- A perception experienced in the absence of external stimulus to the corresponding sense organ. Eg - patient hears a voice when no one is speaking within a hearing distance or patient sees something approaching him when visually no one is there. There are 2 qualities to determine a hallucination: ●it is experienced as a true perception●it seems to come from outside of the head●

The above gif, where Sephiroth suddenly appear again before Cloud's eyes even able to touch Aerith's shoulder, it illustrate perfectly the 'Visual Hallucination'. No one can see Sephiroth, other than Cloud himself.

Cloud [Remake] kinda had anxiety when he stared at the fire and later he saw Sephiroth surrounded with flames, then poof, that silver guy disappeared along with the images of fire. He said he was hallucinating stuff after the first bombing mission. Idk how Sephiroth could create fake images of fire around him, either Cloud was really hallucinating or it was really Sephiroth that came to see him. But, this is what we call as 'Visual and Auditory Hallucinations'. Cloud SAW Sephiroth and HEARD him talking when no one else did. I can also add in 'Tactile Hallucination' because he probably felt the burning sensation on his skin from the flame around him that caused him to feel hot and sweating, or probably it was his anxiety that caused him sweating upon meeting Sephiroth with the flashback of his burning hometown

Hallucinations can occur in all sensory modalities; visual, olfactory, auditory etc. In the Remake, the Whispers could only be seen by certain people. To those who couldnt see it, they would be puzzled what was happening to u, and would've thought that u were hallucinating something, like in the case of Aerith.

In Cloud's case, perhaps Cloud [In OG] had auditory hallucination due to his severe case of Mako Addiction. But then, that wasnt exactly a hallucination though, cuz the thing he said "'Coming.. They're coming" was actually true. A monster fell from the sky.

Other 'hallucinations' that Cloud had was the images of Sephiroth that appeared in certain headache. Cloud may claimed it was his hallucinations, but i've read it somewhere that says it was really Sephiroth appeared before his eyes. Sephiroth was messing with Cloud's mind, trying to break his mental in order to control him. However, IF IT WASNT SEPHIROTH that came, Cloud's 'hallucination' would be known as a mental disorder that may lead to severe case - eg Schizophrenia.

2. Illusions

An illusion is a misperception of an external stimulus. It often occur in several circumstances: (i)level of sensory stimulation reduced (ii)attention is not focused on the sensory modality (iii)level of consciousness reduced (iv)being in a state of intense emotion- fear.

Does Cloud has it? Urm, maybe? Well, it can be proven when he saw his 'noisy neighbour next door' as Sephiroth. As stated above, illusions occur in 4 conditions, and Cloud was in number (i) and (iv). When Tifa yelled him to stop, Cloud came back to reality and got really confused when the 'Sephiroth' that attacked him was actually a sick guy. We can also add in 'Hallucinations of Deep sensation' in this scenario bcause Cloud experienced the feelings of being pushed down by 'Sephiroth'.

However, we all know that 'Sephiroth' was real at that moment. For Cloud, he thought it was an illusion, but for us the audience, it was a real thing.

If u want a better explanation and example, try watching Joker the movie. The main theme of the movie was 'mental illness'. There are lots of scenes that shows different type of hallucinations, illusions and also personality disorder.

3. Delusions

a.k.a fixed false belief. A belief that is held firmly despite evidence contrary. A delusion is nearly always a false belief but not always so. There are around 11 types of delusions according to the book. Half of it may suggest Shcizophrenia. Schizophrenia is certainly not in Cloud's case. I've studied one by one the type of delusions and none of them match with Cloud FF7.

I will surely give anyone a good punch in the face if they dare to say Cloud suffers from Schizophrenia. I've met with bunch of patients having it, and the way they see this world is totally different from us.

In some other cases, eg a spiritualist convince a person to believe in his spiritualism and he present with contrary evidence to the non-believer. This non-delusional belief is called 'overvalued ideas'

Overvalued ideas is an isolated , preoccupying and strongly held belief that dominates a person's life and may affect his action. One of the easiest example i can come up with; a friend who had skin cancer may be convinced to her roomate that cancer is contagious, and her roomate suspects any abnormal skin conditions she has is an evidence to show she too, may have developed the same cancer, when the truth is, she's just completely fine.

It is very hard to distinguish between a delusion and overvalued ideas.

I had a patient, he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. He looked like an ordinary man, but when he talked, it sounded so unreal. He said he had jumped off from 10th floor several times and didnt get a scratch from it. He believed he wont die bcause he had gained super power. He even convinced me to try his 'so-called-secret technique- on how to survive a jump. By doing that often, I will have a superpower like him - a strong physical body. Up until now, I still dont know if he was being deluded with his thought or he was overvalued his idea, bcause from his psychiatric record, he did try to jump off from the second floor of his apartment's balcony a few times.

So, Im not really sure of myself did Cloud [FF7] really had delusion or not. Well, he believed he made it to SOLDIER bcause he had mako eyes. But was it something we called as delusion or was he just overvaluing his idea? He didnt know the truth and his memory messed up. No one could explain to him why he had Mako eyes, except Prof Hojo and Zack who knew the truth

Besides, after Tifa helped with his memory, Cloud accepted the fact he wasnt in SOLDIER. For patient who deluded with their own thoughts, they hardly could believe what people told him.

However, surely Cloud [in AC] had delusions of guilt and worthlessness due to the fact that he believed he had done something shameful and sinful - the main trigger of this theme was, he got infected with Geostigma while he was searching a cure for Denzel. Cloud got depressed with the loss of Aerith and the memory of Zack death had returned, but I think he was recovering very well in that two years time skip. The moment he got Geostigma, he became deluded he was worthless and his depression kicked in again.

Hallucinations and Illusions are normal to be experienced by healthy people, but it wont be if u encounter too many hallucinations & illusions in 2 weeks time. Believe it or not, a lot of people around us are actually mentally ill bcause some of them may have excessive certain delusions, such as delusions of jealousy, grandiose delusions, nihilistic, paranoid etc. Although 'it is consider as normal' in a few circumstance, a few cases need to refer to psychologist and in severer cases, must refer to psychiatrist. If u follow Dr Phil's show, u'll see a bunch of patients have different kind of crazy delusions.

Overall from my statement above, I would conclude that since Sephiroth always appear before Cloud's eyes, this resulting Cloud to think he has both Hallucination and Illusion, when in fact, he's just a normal guy with amnesia and personality confusion. Cloud doesnt have Delusion like how many fans said, neither he has an overvalued idea, even with the evidence of Mako eyes supporting his reasoning + he's a great fighter. I will have to say that perhaps it is his brain defence mechanism that tricks his mind to believe he is a Soldier.

If only Sephiroth stop disturbing Cloud's life, it will be a lot faster to fix Cloud. Tifa alone will be the main strength to get Cloud back to normal. Ah, but this is the beauty of the game. Life wont be exciting without the presence of a beautiful villain and a love triangle (Tifa-Cloud-Sephiroth). Lol Technically I see them trying to fight for Cloud's mental health. Tifa wants to help Cloud with his mental status while Sephiroth is trying to destroy it. Lolololol

My crack theory : Sephiroth says he's going to take Cloud's most precious thing, and he ends up choosing to kill Aerith, but ofc there's another reason why Aerith got killed. But if Sephiroth kills Tifa first, I think he can take over Cloud's mind faster, because then, no one will be holding Cloud back. Honestly no one can ever will, not even Aerith. So does that mean Sephiroth doesnt know about Cloud's deepest secret or is Cloud just good at hiding his weakness?

I WILL UPDATE THE NEXT POST LATER because I've reached tumblr limit images agaiiin. The next part will be focusing about his personality - Personality Disorder

If there is any part that I've mistaken, pls correct me. I'm sorry for my english. English is not my native language, so there are plenty of grammar errors.

#final fantasy 7 #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 remake #final fantasy gif #ff7r #mygif #ff7r spoilers #cloud ff7 #cloud strife gif #sephiroth gif #final fantasy sephiroth #character analysis #psychology #psychiatric disorders #cloud strife #aerith gainsborough

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mollydollyjournals · 3 years

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It's just past 8pm. I was thinking I've made it through most of the day, but then I remembered I got up really late today and probably wont sleep til late tonight. The idea of staying up longer makes me want to drink a bit, but that'd just fuck up my sleep even more, and slightly defeats the purpose of trying to feel better tomorrow. The urge isnt that strong right now so I dont think I'll cave, it's just annoying.

Moving rooms might be something I need to force myself to do more. Even though I'm doing the same thing, I dont feel quite as trapped and everything now that I'm back in my bedroom, just because I was in the other room earlier. I'm sort of trying to build up basic self care rules - I'm not always very good at it by myself, and all the changes the past few years mean my needs keep changing and I'm not good at keeping up. But just things like I watched some videos about childhood trauma as it relates to morning/bedtime anxieties, and how to make a routine that might help. It included stuff like have a debrief at the end of the day and consider what you're doing tomorrow, which sounds simple and I used to kind of do it, but I stopped when there wasnt anything specific to do. But sometimes I've found I'm a little more relaxed if I write out what I'm going to do the next day even if it's really boring.

So idk. Stuff like that. Set a timer to do tasks like tidying and dont go beyond the time, so when something seems daunting you at least know you only have to do it for x time. 5 mins to tidy things away before bedtime relaxing. Carry a water bottle at all times. Debrief in a notepad at the end of the day. Spend as long as possible in the day room every day during daylight hours, until batteries run out on my ipad or whatever. Create panic lists and crisis plans, have a homepage of my phone dedicated to those apps. Watch/play/read something regularly in another language that I know a bit of so that my mind is stimulated to learn something. Etc etc. I guess it's really basic. But I'm just really bad at doing it by myself and it's taking me so long to figure it out. I should think of some more basic self maintenance rules and write them out. That's something else to pass the time tonight.

#self therapy

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7ella7 · 4 years

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Downs and ups.

Yesterday was a weird headspace day for me. I felt fine in the morning- I worked on my tasks and was going along, but not really getting a ton of focused attention from him. At one point, I had gone downstairs to work out, and he started a show that I just don’t watch. When I came back up I folded the laundry and put it away, and was on the couch on my iPad for a while. Eventually the show was too much and I had to leave the room, so I ended up in the bedroom for quite a while he watched and did some work on his laptop. He asked if he should change it or use the downstairs space he has, but I didn’t mind going into the bedroom. When we talked later I ended up being kind of snippy and I felt bad, but then it happened again while we were talking to one of our dads for Father’s Day (not audible on the phone call). A little bit later my head was on his thigh while we were on the couch together, and I apologized for getting a tone, and told him that I really hope that he will expect better from me in the future. When I thought about why it had happened, it wasn’t immediately clear. I wasn’t actually mad at him or anything. However, we don’t have kids and I’m in my very slow season for work, so I have a good amount of time on my hands, and I very much look forward to the times when he’s done with work and to the weekends when we can really connect. I think my attitude came directly from not feeling actively engaged with him for so long throughout the day, but that’s shitty on my part. While I have a lot of free time at the moment, he’s very much working just as hard as ever and needs to be able to do whatever he wants for a while without worrying about what I’m doing/feeling. The last thing I want to do is overwhelm him with requests for more of his time. So I guess I’ve got to figure out how to be better about being submissive in those moments and work on being more respectful even when I’m frustrated.

Eventually, we went to bed and put on the TV. He asked for me to suck him off, which felt great. I’ve been offering my services a lot lately, so it was nice change of pace to go down on him at his request. Most times when I’m giving him head I’m able to completely shut down everything else and just focus on his pleasure, and a lot of times it turns me on to be used like that. I find myself getting breathy and almost like humming from how stimulated I can be even though I’m not physically being touched. Sometimes when I realize I’m doing it it can pull me out of the moment a little bit and I feel a little self-conscious because it doesn’t make sense in my brain why I get that way without my own physical stimulus. I kind of worry (worry may be too strong of a word for what I mean) what he would think if he noticed it, and if he would feel like it was somehow like a performance or something. Idk. Anyway, after he finished, I went up to his chest and laid under his arm. I was worked up and asked if he would allow me to orgasm. He said no. While we were laying there, I stroked him more, and eventually I asked if I could use my mouth on him. He allowed it for a while, then told me to finish him by hand. I asked again because I was super built up, but he didn’t let me come. It’s the first time I’ve been denied. While it sucked to not be allowed, I also appreciated the fact that he is in control of that part of me. It really is freeing to me that he dominates me in this area. It releases me from a lot of inhibitions that I have because I can just focus on serving him the way he would like to be served.

This morning I woke up at 4:30 am. He was sleeping noisily and I still had that needy ache. I eventually decided to get up and start my tasks since there was little chance I’d be able to get back to sleep. I got a load of laundry going and emptied the dishwasher, then looked at tumblr for a while. When it got close to the time I knew his alarm would go off, I switched the laundry into the dryer, then brushed my teeth and got back under the covers. I was able to relax better and even drifted once. When his alarm went off he said that he wanted more sleep and I (mostly) jokingly responded that I wanted an orgasm. He chuckled and went back to sleep. When the alarm went off again, I snuggled up to him and told him that I’d already done the laundry and unloaded the dishwasher, and asked to be allowed to come, thinking that if he’d denied me the night before because of my rude tone that maybe my acts of service would sway him to give me permission. His tone shifted to be much more serious and he said, “No, I’ll let you know when I decide you can come. You can stop asking.” I felt a little embarrassed for pushing so hard on my own behalf, but also completely submissive in that moment. After he said that, I was able to relax and wait until it would please him. I’m still really conscious of how thankful I am that he’s my Dom and he’s willing to call the shots for me.

22 June 2020

#domestic discipline #24/7 d/s #power exchange #d/s marriage #vanilla to d/s #d/s couple #d/s #7ella7 #starting out

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