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#I don't care about this person I never interacted with them before and I've been in the fandom for years
rawliverandcigarettes · 6 months
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So, this is in response of me using the tag NSeverance Day, and, uh. So hey now random person sliding in my random post: as a literal gamedev who worked on titles of similar amplitude, who burned out and who got severely hurt in the process, it's deeply enlightening to see how much you care about people making the games you apparently care so deeply about losing their jobs, because you clearly deserve none of their blood, sweat and tears. Your attitude has nothing to do with celebration; it's complicity in the abuse of the people who made the thing you love.
By the way --hey Mass Effect fandom? give a fuck for once.
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morningmarionette · 1 month
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im currently writing an atsugawa (I hate the name shin soukoku or whatever I'm sorry but I'm actually not. also I cannot pronounce soukoku {this is the real reason I don't use soukoku}) and I don't even ship it lmaoo
#maris bsd 🗞️#like its not a bad ship for my personal tastes#I like them alot more in trios tho I've realized#absolutely adore anytime atsu aku and kyouka are together#two disaters and a teenage girl going through the inexplicable horrors#my favorite#I also desparately wish more people saw the atsulucygawa vision.....#anyways the fic is actually more like before an establish relationship but you can read it as romantic if you want#you'd have to work extra hard though because their bickering isn't like#romantic bickering they're actually kinda getting on each others nerves#but then they have a cute moment talking about their respective agency co workers and realize they do have common ground and that's how muc#they love their lil found dysfunctional families#actually its mostly akutagawa talking Abt port mafia (IM SICK OF PPL SAYING HE DOESNT CARE ABT THEM IDC I wRITE CANON NOW TY) and atsu#realizing that akus never rlly been in a position where he could safely and openly show his affection for anyone#and the one time he did they left (dazai) (this is how the conversation starts)#(aku says smth Abt gin and atsus like “awhh you care alot :3” and akus like “no I don't” and then atsus like “ykw its okay to care Abt ppl”#and akus like “:(( but what if they leave again” and atsus like “but what if they stay?” and basically lists all the reasons why they'd sta#and then akus gets all soft and has a nice moment of caring about everyone he works with#(except maybe chuuya I cant rmb any times they've interacted and i cant think of anything fun or like core memory things they'd do together#and then aku is like “what Abt you and your family? how are they?” and then it's atsus turn to be all sappy about their family#and so then they end up having a way better day than expected AND they walked away from it with a new friend and an even better#understanding of each other and stuff#yeah#reminder I don't even ship atsugawa but wow I feel deeply abt them both.#maybe Id like them as like QPR??#I can see that alot better#but man atsulucygawa....#even they'd probably be QPR though imo#anyways pushing my “aku doesn't feel like he can allow himself to share his affection for people because he doesn't want them to leave”#agenda ty for coming to my Ted talk
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pottersfia · 2 months
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For your Theo fluff - He hates touch, like absolutely does not get touched by anyone ever. His friends know it. Everyone knows - but then you come along and it’s all you do. Hugs, hand holding, legs in lap, all the touchy things. And you have no idea that Theo was ever NOT a touchy person because he never said anything. And then Pansy or Draco tell you how he used to hate being touched, and you’re like ???? Because he never said anything. And then you stop. Like no more hugs, no fiddling with his hands during class, nothing. And then he’s like ???? And then you tell him why and he’s like … I only wanna be touched by you. And it’s just so fluffy and a little hint of sunshine!reader.
You are the best Theo fluff writer😭🔥❤️
theodore nott x sunshine!reader
a/n: sorry i’ve been so busy i’m catching up on requests now!!
theodore very instinctively backed away from blaise's incoming hands. the boy was simply joking around with his friend, but as he lifted his hands to pat his back, super bro-dude of him, Theodore backed away.
"sorry mate." blaise noticed his flinch and laughed. theodore shook his head and gave a small smile to his friend.
"you act like everyone but you has the black plague or something, theo." pansy laughed at the interaction.
"what?" theodore asked.
"you back away from touch so quick." the girl replied.
"yeah, you never let anyone touch you." Draco added.
"i don't think i've ever seen you hug som-"
"theo!" blaise was interrupted by you walking towards the group of slytherins with an unmissable smile on your face. theodore's face visibly lit up as he stood up to greet you. you instantly walked up to him and reached out for a hug which he gladly reciprocated. blaise, draco, and pansy looked at eachother in shock. they knew theodore liked you but for him to display pda so naturally was strange. the two of you had only been dating for a week and before that you seemed to be close already, but the group still never saw this side of the relationship.
"hello to you too, y/n." blaise said, holding back a laugh with a smile. you turned to the group and smiled at them.
"hi guys." despite the two breaking your hug, your arm did not leave his body. "can i sit?" she asked.
"of course, i don't think theo will let you leave anyway." pansy replied making everyone not so discreetly laugh. theodore scowled at them and led you to sit down next to him. you smiled as he placed his arm around you and chatted about your day to him.
the scene was incredible to theodore's slytherin friends. you couldn't keep your hands off him as you sat together and he did not mind at all. you held on to his hands, placed a hand on his thigh, even touched his hair as you spoke to him. all he did was stare and listen to you as you talked, occasionally giving commentary and melting in your touch.
"i'll go get it for you." theodore said as he stood up, responding to something you mentioned you forgot in his room.
"where are you off to?" draco asked.
"getting something for y/n, i'll be back." he replied as he headed to his dorm.
"that boy must really like you." pansy turned to you as soon as he was out of sight. you smiles.
"well i hope so."
“it’s so funny, we were just talking about how much he hates being touched before you came over.” blaise said. you furrowed your eyebrows at his comment.
“he does?” you questioned. they all nodded. you never would have thought that about theodore. you were naturally very touchy with people you cared about and didn’t think theodore had a problem with it because he never said anything. as you thought about it, you did realize that he rarely was as physically affectionate with you in the same way so maybe he didn’t like it?
as the week went on, this thought never left your head. you suddenly became self aware of all your actions around theodore. your hugs were shorter instead of unnecessarily being prolonged, you held his hand instead of clinging onto his arm, and you rarely played with his hair.
theodore did not understand what was going on. he knew something was different as soon as he noticed you hesitating to hug him. he was never one to initiate physical affection so he wasn’t sure how to go about this. his break point was one afternoon in the empty school courtyard when the two of you sat in the grass talking and enjoying each other’s company. you were next to him but did not even attempt to touch him the entire time.
theodore looked down at the hand you were leaning on that was in between the two of you. you were ranting about your divination exam but all he could think of was how much he missed your touch. he looked back up at you and nodded to your words. he moved his hand without looking to touch yours, intending to hold on to it, but you immediately moved it away.
“why are you doing that?” he interrupted you. you stared at him in silence.
“doing what?” you asked.
“you’re not touching me. are you upset with me or something?” he asked. you looked at him in disbelief.
“no. i’m not i just,” you looked down not really knowing what to say.
“just what?” he asked again.
“i thought you didn’t like being touched.” you said. he tilted his head at your words. “it’s your friends, they told me you don’t like being touched by people soon figured i would hold back on it because i don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“ragazza dolce (sweet girl),” he placed a hand on your cheek making you look at him. “i only like being touched by you. i miss it so much.” he says.
“really?” you asked. he nodded. you smiled and kissed him, placing your hand on his arm.
“now please give me a hug. yours are the best.” he smiled at you.
“if you insist.” you gave him a hug as he requested, smiling and closing your eyes as you lingered in the feeling.
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pinkthrone445 · 2 months
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-Abbott's house-
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Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader
Gender:Fluff, funny, soft
Warnings:none(?) future smut
Summary:The district gives the school the idea of spending a month living together to strengthen bonds, you never thought that would change your relationship with some so much.
Hi! This is an interactive story, if some thinks about something funny that one of the people of Abbott would be like to do, and you would like me to introduce it in the second part of the fic, you can leave it on the comments. I hope you like this part!
Abbott's shenanigans
There are a lot of things that influence the relationship we have with people, spending a lot of time together, going on vacation together, going on dates, being with someone when they're sick and taking care of them, having a fight or a problem that requires assistance, living together, and so on. It could change the relationship for the worse or strengthen the existing friendship, or sometimes even make love grow.
You and your Abbott classmates commonly spent a lot of time together at work, so you never thought that living with them would make much of a difference, but you were wrong and didn't know how much until Ava walked into the teacher's room accompanied by Janine to make an important announcement.
-"Please, if I can get your attention... I have an important statement, as the vacations arrives, Abbott will begin to do a month of interaction together to reinforce the fellowship and friendship between us so we can work better together as a team an as a family, you can say that you do not want to go, but keep in mind that it will be an all-paying month in a shared house, the groups will be 8 people per house, which if everyone says yes, this group will be a house shared by Melissa, Barbara, Jacob, Gregory, Ava, (Y/N), Mr. Johnson and I"-Commented a very excited Janine seeing everyone-"The house has 5 rooms, so some will have to share a room and others won't, we will fix that later depending on who says yes... It also has 1 private bathroom per room and a large one downstairs, it has a fully equipped kitchen, a dining room and living room with television, a terrace, a patio and a heated pool... The only thing you would have to bring is the clothes you would use, personal towel and any hygiene items you prefer besides personal medicines... You will also have money to go shopping, there will be group activities and you will have 2 days completely free to do whatever you want or go visit your family. If you want to be part of this, talk to me or Ava and we'll write you down, I hope you take advantage of the time the district decide to give us something for free..."Janine muttered the last part before leaving the teacher's room, leaving you all a little surprised with the news.
Immediately the murmurs and questions began
-"Gregory let's go together and share a room!" - Jacob murmured excitedly, grabbing his friend's arm
-"I don't know... I have my day to day planned even to what I eat, it would be a big change" - he replied without much conviction
-"Please! If we do this I'll have one more month to find a new apartment... Besides this will help me with my breakup...You know how sad I've been"-Jacob was using the pity card and Gregory knew it, but he loved him too much to say no...
-"Fine, but you better keep the room clean" - Gregory muttered under his breath, and Jacob jumped and danced happily
-"Are you going Barbs?" - Mel asked her friend she shrugged her shoulders
-"I have to ask Gerald first, but if I go, I want a room to myself so I can use my breathing machine... You?" - Barbara asked
-"I think maybe...I'm very bored alone, it will be a good distraction... You?"-Mel asked you this time while you were eating
-"I want to... I mean, paid vacation? Count me in, besides I don't have anything else to do"-You smiled looking at the redhead.
Little by little, everyone else got on board with the idea of spending the vacation together, so before you could think about it much more, you were already driving to the house where you would spend the next month of your life.
You were one of the first to arrive, even though there were already two cars in the driveway. You carefully unloaded your bags and walked inside the house, suddenly finding Ava and Janine talking and arguing.
-"Hello girls..."-You whispered trying to go unnoticed and not interrupt or get involved in the discussion
-"(Y/N)! Welcome!" - Janine yelled, walking away from the principal and getting closer to you-"All the rooms are assigned already... Yours is the one to the right in the second floor, you can settle in and when everyone arrives, we will handle you sheets with the schedule for the month, Okey? Enjoy" -The petite woman barely let you say hello before going back to her chat with Ava. You carefully brought your bags up and noticed that you had a shared room, although you still didn't know with whom.
After settling everything in, you felt more people arrive at the house and before you knew it, your roommate had walked through the door
-"Hello roommate" - Mel muttered, leaving her bags on her bed and smiling at you
-"Oh, hi Mel... I thought you will be sharing a room with Barb... I mean, sorry, from everyone that I could got, I'm happy it's you..." - You muttered a little embarrassed
-"Yeah... Barbara wanted a room to herself, but Ava and Mr. Johnson asked for it first, so Barbara was assigned with Janine, Gregory, and Jacob together and you and me together..."-The redhead began to unpack her bag as you looked at her
-"Do you want me to swap rooms with Barbara so you are together? It's not a hassle at all" - You responded, helping her with her stuff
-"Don't bother, Ava did this because she wants us to strengthen our bonds with people that we don't get together as much, so we are stuck together... Also, Ava did this arrangements because she wanted a whole room for herself"-she muttered, arranging her clothes on one of the furnitures
-"Okey... Do you want to set some ground rules or something? I don't wanna bother you"-You asked sitting on your bed looking at her
-"Just by saying that, I already like you a thousand times more... I just don't want the light on after 12 if possible and dry the bathroom thoroughly after a shower. I think that's it. You?" - she commented, turning to look at you and you shrugged your shoulders
-"I don't think so..."-You muttered before you pulled out one of your books and started reading while she sorted out her things.
The week began to pass normally, each one received their activity sheet, which included movie nights (each one would choose one movie per night), you had physical activities together, walks, reading nights, month game night, each one was assigned a place in the house to clean and other chores together. Everyone would have to cook or go shopping from time to time. Take some classes for school, etc.
It would be a busy and interactive month.
Your coexistence with Mel was going well, more than well, the fact that you didn't make her angry so far said a lot.
When the first movie night rolled around, Jacob chose the movie "It", which you tried to avoid because you didn't like horror movies and because you hated clowns, but Ava said it was a must-do activity so you had to stay, although the truth was that she wanted to laugh at how scared you were.
Before the movie started, you made popcorn for everyone and sat next to the redhead who was the only empty spot on the couch. Mel smiled at you and covered your legs with the blanket she had, sharing it with you.
At first you avoided watching the movie by looking at your phone, but Ava told you to turn it off so you no longer had any distractions, nervously, you started playing with your fingers but Mel noticed your fidgeting, carefully she took one of your hands with hers and intertwined her fingers with yours smiling at you
-"It's okay, it's just a movie, I'm here with you..."-she whispered close to your ear, making you blush. You never thought that sharing just a couple of days together would make the redhead more fond of you and want to take care of you.
The rest of the movie you saw it without letting go of her hand and shaking a little when the damn clown appeared, witch was all the time.
At the end of the movie you were one of the first to go to your room, as soon as you entered you lay down on your bed and started watching cartoons on your cell phone trying to get the face of the damn clown out of your memory. Mel carefully entered the room and stared at you tenderly, you looked like a small sacred child
-"Are you watching Bluey?" - she whispered, trying not to alarm you
-"Yes... I hate clowns and now I'm scared and I won't be able to sleep if I'm like this... Don't laugh at me please"-You muttered in shame and she shook her head
-"Never... I'll go take a shower, you can leave the lights on tonight if you want..."-She responded taking off her clothes in front of you, seeing her in her underwear made you forget your fears for a moment, it wasn't until the redhead walked through the bathroom door that you came back to reality and back to your cartoons.
After a few minutes, the room filled with the scent of flowers when the redhead came out of the bathroom, you followed her with your eyes waiting for her to go to her bed, but instead she stood in front of you
-"Move a little, give me a little of room, I'll sleep with you so you don't get bad dreams"-Mel suggested and you gave her space a little confused, thinking maybe she was joking. She carefully climbed onto your bed with her pajamas on and gently hugged you making you snuggle on her chest, consciously or unconsciously, this was making you feel safe and calmer.
Your heart began to beat more slowly and your head stopped thinking, her hands gently scratched the back of your neck and the beating of her heart over your ear made you breathe more calmly and steady, even the darkness and silence of the room provided a calm atmosphere now that she was by your side.
When Mel began to feel like you were falling asleep, she kissed your forehead gently
-"Good night hon, I'll take care of you..."-She whispered before you fell asleep completely.
Unable to believe it, you slept through the night without any nightmares, and when you woke up Melissa was still by your side sleeping and cuddling you. Not wanting to wake her, you tried to gently snuggle closer to her. You couldn't believe how good she smelled and how beautiful she looked while she sleeps. When you were about to snuggle up on her chest, her voice startled you
-"I'm already awake hon... Good morning" -she commented in a thick voice making you blush
-"I'm sorry...I...it's just that you're so warm that I wanted to get closer to you... Besides you smell so nice..."-You began to stutter from nerves that you had been caught in your attempt to be close to her-"I didn't want to disturb you, just feel your warmth..."-The redhead snuggled you with her arms putting you close to her chest making you shut up by being almost between her breasts
-"I said good morning... And you didn't answer" - She commented in a raspy voice
-"I... I'm sorry, good morning Mel" - You replied and closed your eyes taking a big breath to etch her perfume into your memory
-"Did I help? Did you have any nightmares?" - She asked and you shook your head with your eyes still closed-"Good... Do you want to go cook breakfast together?" - She asked again and after a few seconds of thinking, you nodded. Although you'd like to stay in that bed for as long as possible, if you said something, you might make her feel uncomfortable. Gathering all the strength in the world, you sat up on the bed and stretched out your arms under the watchful eye of the redhead.
After the two got ready, you went to the kitchen with the redhead to make breakfast. No one was up yet, so that gave more peace and quiet to cook. You and the redhead worked together like a well-oiled machine, it seemed like you had been cooking together for years as you saw how you helped and understood each other. The redhead put on Italian music and was surprised when you started singing, seeing you with different eyes than she did a few days ago.
At the time you didn't know it, but that month would be one of the most intense and crazy where your life would take a 180-degree turn, changing everything, especially your relationship with your coworker and roomie.
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tubbytarchia · 3 months
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In my head I'm constantly rotating around the idea of Ranchers and Pearl... This is largely unfounded but I just. can't help it... I just think they'd make such a cute trio and it's what all of them deserve in DL especially. Further thoughts below but please also have this from Pearl's POV
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I have never been able to stop thinking about how Pearl was the first person to genuinely help the ranchers when they requested it, and the way she only asks for food in exchange because she's hungry, gets some steak thrown at her and she immediately gobbles it up. Then Pearl watching them try their best to get goat horns, doesn't even judge them for their complete incompetence (does snicker to herself a little but that's just cute), offers to try it herself, gets it immediately followed by Jimmy's unbridled joy and Tango's unbridled praise
Then Jimmy went and broke my heart by shooing Pearl away in session 3 like everyone else </3, but then pearl comes back later offering him a horse and this time she only asks for friendship in exchange <3. But then she HAD conversed with Scott before and Scott basically just said "I've emotionally reduced Jimmy into nothing before and you can too". In the end Jimmy gives her the horn that she got for him in the first place </3 Then Pearl and Martyn steal the horse back but Pearl pretty quickly feels remorseful and returns to Jimmy to once again ask for friendship in exchange for the horse. Jimmy refuses but Pearl gives him the horse anyway and RAHH Jimmy being genuinely surprised like, baby... he just doesn't expect much at all from anyone at this point does he lol. And Pearl all "No, that's not me, I felt too bad" and Jimmy still asking for reassurance "You sure? Are you sure?". Then they kind of established a friendship before parting ways when Pearl admitted she no longer had Jimmy's horn (had given it to Martyn already)
So obviously that didn't amount to much, they didn't interact a lot before Tango and Jimmy died but COME ON THEY'D BE SO CUTE... The ranchers who are most everyone's laughing stock and Pearl who has been largely ostracized for not even doing anything wrong, and completely alone. Except she does have Tilly, she loves her dogs and she also ushers a donkey into her tower all "here you go my little lovely", ALSO housing Oreo, the very horse that'd been traded back and forth and that the ranchers had so desperately wanted. Oreo WAS left there by Scar because he had to make a swift escape from the top but... you know. Anyway point is I think her and the ranchers have a little bit in common in that, I could totally imagine Pearl enjoying taking care of the animals. Also don't forget how she was struggling for food in the beginning just like the ranchers. But they managed to make do because they had each other, unlike Pearl. So the ranchers could give her supportive company!! Can you imagine how delightful they'd be towards her... The same way Jimmy would usher Tango into the ranch as he fled from mobs, scared and starving
That's about it but PLEASE. SURELY I'm not the only one who can see this. Ranchers housing Pearl would be the absolute cutest, they don't judge each other etc... Imagine an AU in which she does score a proper allyship with them, finally finding happiness in some human company only for them to die first and Pearl being left all alone again with all the other Lifers who considered her crazy
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wososcripts · 4 months
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I've Been Getting Lost in Translation (Part Two)
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(these kits are god awful but you didn't hear that from me)
stina blackstenius x reader; part one can be found here
Summary: You finally get to meet your girlfriend’s parents, but you aren’t sure they’re aware the two of you are more than just friends.
A/N: Here's part two finally! I hope it's worth the wait for you all lol, make sure you read the first part as well as that author's note for clarity! As usual, nothing I write is intended to speculate or infringe upon player's personal lives, it's all 100% fiction and done in good fun.
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings⚠️: very very slight mentions of anxiety and self-harm behaviors, but it really isn't featured here more than a passing mention
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You could feel Stina's eyes on you as you came down the stairs and joined the group in getting ready to go, you felt them on you in the car, and once you got to the skating rink. She never seemed to not be looking at you, sending worried little glances your way that you just couldn't interact with right now if you wanted to keep it together. 
"Here are Linnéa's extra skates." Stina's mom held out a pair of ice skates for you to grab. "I'm not sure they'll fit, but Stina said you were around the same size as her sister… otherwise you can rent a pair here." 
She gave you a warm smile and left you to try them on, already lacing up her own and taking off on the ice. 
It was a beautiful day, sunny and cold with a thick layer of snow on the ground from a couple of days ago. And the rink was amazing. It was well maintained, but still had the feeling of a pond you'd have skated on as a child. 
Stina's sister came to sit down next to you, explaining some of the quirks with the skates. You had to pull the laces hard to get them to fit in the clasps at the top before you could tie them, she showed you, yanking on your ankle a little roughly for your liking.
"Linnéa, be careful with her foot!" You heard Stina call from the ice. 
Linnéa waved her off, turning to you.
"Does it hurt?" 
You shook your head.
"That ankle is just a bit sensitive. I broke it in June." 
"Well the laces being tight will make sure that doesn't happen again," she laughed, then glanced to make sure Stina wasn't looking at you two and said something lowly to you. "How is she doing in London? I mean she says everything is going well, but it's hard to know when we're not there to see her."
You smiled, genuinely for the first time in hours.
"She's doing great. Everyone loves her, she's been playing fantastic this season, she gets along well with the coach and the players. I really don't think there's anything for you to worry about." 
"It's good that she has you and Amanda there. She seems reserved but without a few good people around her I know she gets lonely."
"What are you two slow pokes waiting for?" Stina's father skated by, gesturing for you to come on. 
Linnéa followed him, starting a conversation with him in Swedish you could hardly grasp onto. How this family managed to speak so quickly, you were lost on.
You joined the rest of them on the ice, trying to ignore your poor mood from earlier. Moping around was no way to make a first impression. So you tried to suck it up and let the joy of the moment overtake you. You hadn't skated in years, having played in Italy for a bit before moving to London. There never seemed to be enough time, or good rinks close by. And when you were back in Germany you mostly wanted to see your family and Laura. 
You ended up skating with Stina’s nephew, a boy around seven. He was already impressively steady on his skates, something you would not have been able to say at his age. But still, he held your hand and talked your ear off in Swedish you only partially understood. 
"Did you come with aunt Stina?" He asked, to which you nodded. 
"We play for the same football team in England." You explained in your slow Swedish.
"Did you come here on a plane?" You nodded again, smiling. 
"We flew here yesterday, from London."
The boy considered you for a moment.
"You speak funny," he proclaimed, letting go of your hand, "watch what I can do!" 
And with that he skated in front of you, circling around you playfully as you stood still. You grinned at him, giving a round of applause when he was done.  
“Hey,” you heard Stina come up behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder as to not startle you. 
You gave her a smile which she softly returned. 
“What are you two up to?” 
“He’s showing me his incredible skating skills,” You replied.
Stina’s nephew nodded and twirled around again, clearly looking for more praise. 
Stina cheered him on, catching one of his hands and spinning him once more. 
“Very impressive,” she praised, “Unfortunately we’ve got to go eat some lunch. It’s getting dark out.” 
You looked up at the sky, having not realized that she was right, the sun was setting already. You checked your phone and saw it was barely one pm. 
Stina’s nephew nodded and shot forward ahead of you two, rushing back to where his parents were. 
“How are you doing?” Stina asked. 
You could tell she was still unsettled by what had happened earlier in the bathroom by how careful she was with you, how she treated each interaction tentatively. You felt badly for making her worry, for turning this visit with her family into yet another stressful situation rather than the relaxing break you both needed.
“I’m doing all right.” You gave the hand on your shoulder a squeeze and started to skate in the direction of the exit, a little further away from her than you would normally. 
You felt the distance seemingly in every stride you took, agonizing over your choice to move further from her. You were upset by the lack of any physical affection, and yet here you were removing even the chance that she might initiate it. It was self sabotage, you knew. Yet it was still difficult not to indulge in it. Whether she felt the distance as much as you did, you couldn’t know. 
“Why does Aunt Stina’s friend speak so funny?” You heard Stina’s nephew ask his mother, to which you couldn’t help but chuckle as she scolded him lightly. 
“She’s still learning Swedish, baby, she’s from Germany.”
“You’re from Germany?” The boy asked you once you were in front of him, skates in hand. He said it as if it were some far away land, not in the same continent. 
You nodded and ruffled his hair a bit, giving him a smile. You sat down on the bench, unlacing your skates and indulging the boy as he asked you several questions about Germany and what it was like there. You noticed Stina had a firm watch on you as you started to take your left skate off—the one that Linnéa had tugged on. It was aching a bit, that was true. But you simply massaged it for a moment and stood up like you couldn't feel a thing.
“Thanks again for lending me the skates,” You said to Stina’s mother, giving them back carefully. 
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The eight of you decided to eat at a small restaurant not far from the rink. Sunset was already in full force, vibrant orange and pink staining the sky around you.
Stina had borrowed her sister's car that morning, preferring not to be squished in the back seat all day. The drive over gave you a bit of privacy, which you spent in relative quiet, Stina's playlist playing softly through the car speakers. Her hand was on your thigh innocently, and every once in a while she glanced over. Maybe she expected you to say something. But you knew if you started now, you wouldn't be able to stop.
You were thankful for your sturdy sneakers as you stepped out of the car, a twinge in your ankle rippling up your leg. It was more sore than you would've expected, but nothing you were overly worried about. The doctor had warned you that some days might give you more trouble than others, and that was normal. You would just have to take care to ice it this evening before you went to bed. 
And by the looks of it, Stina would be making sure you did anyway. 
She was robbed of her chance to ask if it was bothering you by her nephew, who seemed to have taken a real liking to you. He came barreling at you, arms open for you to lift him up. You weren't all that tall, and he certainly had inherited his family's height, so lifting him was a bit complicated. Eventually the two of you decided on a piggy back after some awkward maneuvering. 
"He likes you," Stina's brother commented, tickling his son lightly. "He's normally quite reserved around new adults."
You smiled at him, feeling your heart soar. This, this was what you wanted from the trip. You wanted Stina's family to love you, for her not to have to worry about you fitting in or being accepted. 
"She's going to sit next to me!" The boy announced once the waiter had shown you to your booth.
"Do I need to be worried?" Stina joked, to which her nephew stuck out his tongue. 
She returned the favor playfully.
"No need to fight, there's plenty of me to go around."
The booth wasn't all that big, which was how you explained Stina's closeness. Most of your right side was pressed right up against hers, something you initially tried to rectify, only to receive a strange look from her. You cursed yourself for how unsure you were being. You'd spent months like this before the two of you had started dating and it nearly drove you (and your teammates) crazy. 
You let Stina order for you since she had been here before and she knew what you liked. The tiredness was beginning to hit you. It was dark outside now, and between skating for a few hours, entertaining a seven year old, and worrying over your relationship, you'd had quite the day. Thankfully you had ibuprofen in your bag in case of one of your headaches. 
Whatever Stina had ordered you looked delicious when it came out. You dug in, realizing then how hungry you were. Usually you had a snack in between breakfast and lunch particularly on training days.  
You were surprised to feel a hand on your knee a little while later. You were listening to a story her nephew was intently explaining to you as he colored in one of the books his mother brought for him, and suddenly it was there. It was something so completely normal you couldn't believe how much it shocked you. If anything, that was proof of how much you had gotten in your own head. Back home it would be impossible to imagine sitting next to Stina without her hand resting lightly on you somewhere. It helped ground her, she said. 
But now, your thoughts were racing with every move she made. Stina's fingers drummed absentmindedly on your thigh, the rhythm of them distracting you slightly from her nephew. She didn't usually tap unless she was feeling fidgety, which meant she was anxious. Was Stina feeling something similar to what you were? Was it out of anxiety that she was keeping things secret? The idea of your relationship inspiring such emotions in your girlfriend made the lump in your throat that much bigger. Maybe she was picking up on your mood. Stina had always been very perceptive (because she spent so much time quietly watching, you often teased) and seemed to pick up on your moods without issue. But you’d been trying to hide this. 
You caught her eye and sent her a quick smile. A piece of hair had fallen into her eyes and you wanted desperately to push it behind her ear as you normally would. But the gesture seemed too intimate now. It was as if you were in a glass cage, every move observed with the chance of exposing your feelings. But what was the problem in that, you asked yourself. You loved Stina, openly. Why were you letting this affect you so much? 
Stina's sister declared that she wanted to do a bit of shopping after lunch, which the rest of the group was perfectly amicable to. It wasn’t all that late, and you’d get a chance to see the Christmas market all lit up. Stina's nephew certainly hadn't taken much convincing once Linnéa mentioned stopping at the toy store to look at something.
"Am I your favorite now?" Linnéa asked him, looking at you with a sly grin on her face.
"Yes!" The boy cried, smiling wide.
"You can't buy true connection, Linnéa," you teased, still helping to color.
"Can't buy connection." The boy repeated wisely. "I still like Stina's friend too."
You smiled and ruffled the boy's hair, suggesting quietly in his ear that you move to another page and make a drawing for Stina. 
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Linnéa joined you and Stina in the car on the way back to their parent’s house, adding to the tension that had been building since the eight of you had gone shopping. Stina had stuck close to your side, and you’d done your best to act normally while keeping some distance. You needed to sort your head out, and being close to her wasn’t helping. Thankfully her nephew provided a good excuse to be tugged in all sorts of directions—he had decided you were his favorite once more, leaving Linnéa to hang behind with her siblings. 
Once you had reached the Christmas market, after a short detour in the toy store where you had agreed to get matching dragon plushies for you and the young boy, each of you wandered off on your own. You, Stina’s brother, and her nephew headed first for the big tree that had been decorated in the square while the rest went to get something hot to drink. You had managed to sneak off under the guise of having to find the toilet, Stina’s brother covering for you if you needed. You wanted to get a small gift for Stina, something in addition to what you’d already purchased. Most of it was back in London since bringing it all on the plane was a hassle. 
You’d found a perfect gift at a small stall tucked away near the edge of the market where an older woman was selling vintage jewelry. You picked through it slowly at first, not sure you would find anything. Most of it was too gaudy for Stina, and too impractical. But then you found a simple pendant with two stones in the middle—an amethyst and an opal, each of your birth stones, set in a complex circular pattern that reminded you a bit of some of the celtic designs Katie had shown you. You had purchased it immediately, no matter that it was overpriced. 
Now you were sat listening to Linnéa’s music quietly as the three of you drove, trying not to nod off. You were unsuccessful, because the next thing you remembered was being jolted awake by Linnéa’s door falling shut. You heard Stina chuckle next to you and put a hand on your shoulder, likely amused by how suddenly you had shot up. You chuckled along with her and patted her hand, putting your coat back on to brave the cold once more. 
“Is your ankle bothering you?” Stina asked you quietly as you all began to walk back to the house for dinner preparations. 
You thought that you had been hiding the slight limp in your walk well, certainly nobody else had noticed, but nothing escaped your girlfriend apparently. 
“Only a bit. I’ll ice it later and it’ll be fine tomorrow.”
“You should’ve said something if it was hurting, I told Linnea to be careful—” she was beginning to ramble, but you cut her off. 
“Stina, it’s fine. I said I’m fine. I know what I can and cannot handle.” 
It was a lie, and the both of you knew it. You were a stubborn bastard. Stina had been with you through your recovery, through every incident where you pushed yourself too hard only to have to face the consequences. She’d found you on the kitchen floor, comforted you after a physio session, seen you train with the team for the first time again. It was insulting to allege she didn’t know when too much was too much.
“Sorry,” You mumbled, already feeling bad for snapping at her. It wasn’t fair, she didn’t even know what was wrong and you were what? Punishing her? 
“I just don’t want to see you hurt again. Do you know how horrible that was? To see you in that much pain?” Stina’s eyes were glossy with just the memory. 
You weren’t sure what to say to that. You and Stina didn’t talk much about your injury and recovery. It was still too fresh, barely more than a couple months old. The crack of your ankle, the blood, her tears, her gentle shaking hands, it was all still at the front of your mind. 
You were saved from having to formulate a response by Stina’s mother calling her to the kitchen. She left you, only looking back once to give you a slight smile, showing that the two of you were okay. But you knew the time to confront what was going on needed to come quickly. 
You sat with Stina’s brother on the sofa and watched some Swedish Christmas program mindlessly. Mostly you were thinking about how to go about talking to Stina later. “Directness is key”, Laura's voice reminded you. You just had to say it, without blaming anyone. Just focus on yourself, your feelings.
It wasn't clear how long you sat there quietly before dozing off again, but Stina’s nephew was the one to wake you for dinner, doing so by climbing into your lap. 
"It's dinner time." He said, poking at your shoulder. 
You forced your eyes open, giving him a drowsy smile. 
“Okay, Prinzi” you replied, picking him up off your lap so you could stand. He managed to hang on to your side though, and you ended up lifting him onto your hip anyway. 
Fuck, you cursed silently as you noticed your ankle was even more tender than when you had fallen asleep. You’d have to check for bruising later and keep off it for the rest of the night. But still, you carried Stina’s nephew to the table with ease, setting him in his seat next to his mother who shot you a sheepish smile. 
“Tired, aren’t you?” You heard a voice behind you, and then a gentle hand at your back. 
It was Stina, who smelled of something sweet in the kitchen. You wanted to lean back into her and not move for the rest of the night. Instead you just nodded. 
“Sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
“You’ve been playing babysitter all day, that might be part of it.” She smiled. 
You nodded in agreement, a smile on your face as well.
"You're so good with him," she whispered into your ear, "it's adorable."
You had caught her taking pictures of you with her nephew a couple times throughout the day, and now, as you briefly as her phone light up with notification, it seemed she had set one of them as her lockscreen.
"I try my best. He's a good kid."
"Well, he's in good hands."
Dinner was delicious, but relatively uneventful. After an entire day together everyone was happy to sit quietly and enjoy the food. Stina’s nephew joked with you a couple times, still wanting all of your attention, but even he seemed to be winding down for the night.
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After the table was cleared and the dishes had been washed (a task delegated to Stina’s brother this time), the group splintered off. Linnéa was going out to meet with a few friends, Stina’s brother and his family had to go home before it got too late, and Stina’s parents had settled in the living room. The two of you were welcome to join, they offered, for a nightcap. But it was clear that maybe you and Stina needed some alone time. 
So you bid everyone good night, thanking them for a wonderful day, and giving Stina’s nephew a big hug goodbye (even though you would be seeing him the next day). You tried to prepare for what you knew was a difficult discussion coming your way. In and out, you tried to remind yourself.
“Go ahead, I’ll be in in a minute,” Stina told you when you reached the bedroom door.
You nodded, thankful for the extra minute to think. The room was quiet around you. You felt the quilt beneath your hands, taking another deep breath. You didn’t need to overthink this. It was simple. And Stina loved you, you reminded yourself. 
There was a knock at the door, after which Stina slowly opened it and slipped inside. She had a bag of ice in her hands, presumably for your ankle. Already you felt tears spring to your eyes.
“Here, for your foot.” 
She lifted your leg, grabbing a chair for you to prop it up on, and pressed the ice to it.  
“So,” Stina paused, still standing before you, “What’s wrong?” You opened your mouth, but were cut off before you could say anything. “And don’t say it’s nothing, I can tell it isn’t. And I want to know, I want you to tell me, whatever it is.” 
You chuckled internally at the similarity to Laura’s demand earlier. Stina knew you too well for you to hide from her either. That made your heart ache a little bit. 
Your lack of response seemed to signal to Stina that you needed more convincing because she knelt down in front of you, taking your hands in hers. 
“What were you doing in the bathroom earlier? Why did you look so upset? All day, I can see you trying to hide it, but I know you’re hiding something. It hurts me too, to see you like that. It’s like a thorn in my ribs.” 
Your lip trembled, and you bit down hard on your cheek until you could feel blood in your mouth. It rushed onto your tongue, the metallic taste distracting you from the urge to cry. Stina had caught your gaze, and you couldn’t bring yourself to look away.
“Do your parents know we’re together?” Your voice held steady as you asked. 
Whatever she had been expecting, it certainly wasn’t that. Stina let out an airy chuckle, looking relieved. You brought your gaze to the floor, eyes wetting rapidly, which Stina quickly noticed.
“Hey, hey, hey,” She brought a hand up to your face, brushing the hair away from it. She sat next to you, moving up from where she was kneeling, and pulled you into her. “Look at me.” She put a finger under your chin, drawing your gaze to hers. The sight of your eyes nearly broke her heart. She hadn’t seen your face crumple in on itself like this since you were injured. The idea that something she had done could have caused you pain like that made her feel indescribably awful. 
“Of course they know, of course they do.”
You let out a sigh of relief, putting your head in your hands. You felt a hand on the back of your neck, rubbing the skin there tenderly.
“Then why have you been so…distant all day? And yesterday? This morning at breakfast, I couldn’t even hold your hand. It seemed like you didn’t want your family to see us together. I thought maybe you… I don’t know, that you were unsure of us, or afraid, or—” 
“That’s not it, I promise,” she said, wiping a tear away that had fallen from your eye. Fuck, you hated crying this much. “It’s just odd for me to be affectionate in front of my parents. They never were very touchy with each other in front of us, so it just feels like some unspoken rule. And then when my brother married his wife, they were the same way. But I promise, tomorrow I’ll try—”
You shook your head. You could tell Stina was upset too now, and you didn't want that. That wasn't the point of this. Tears continued to stream from your eyes, and you continued to swipe harshly at them.
“No, no. It’s all right. I don’t need you to be affectionate in front of them, I understand. It just seemed strange when I didn’t know the reason. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.”
Stina seemed at a loss for a moment, truly shocked. She pulled you into a kiss, pressing her lips firmly against yours once, twice, three times before pulling back.
“You’re in this house too. And we’re a team: you don’t just have to do things the way we do. I’m supposed to meet you in the middle, okay? We’re in a relationship—if something hurts you, or is important to you, I want to know.” 
You nodded, squeezing her hand as a small thanks. The taste of blood trickled through your mouth, reminding you of the wound. You did your best to swallow it down. 
“Come on, let’s get you into something more comfortable,” Stina said, helping you up. 
She opened the dresser, looking for some of the pants you had brought. When she turned around, in her hands were a pair of grey sweats and one of her long sleeve Swedish national team shirts. 
“Sit,” she requested, pointing at the bed. 
You followed, sitting and allowing her to help you undress. It was totally non-sexual, Stina was wholly concerned in caring for you. Once you were dressed in the casual clothes she had picked out, Stina returned to your side, your ankle in her lap as she massaged the skin gently. 
“Was that what made you think I hadn’t told them?”
“It seems silly… but I also overheard them talking to your aunt in the kitchen last night.” You took a breath, trying to banish the tears for good. “I know my Swedish isn’t that good, but I was doing my best to keep up, and they kept referring to me as your friend, your friend, Stina’s friend.” 
Stina looked at you, confused. 
“They did? What did they say?” 
You did your best to repeat the word, cringing at your own pronunciation. 
“Väninna?” She repeated, and you nodded. “Who told you that means friend?”
“Amanda.” you replied, “She said it was like a female friend.” 
Stina shook her head, laughing. 
“What?” You asked, a bit indignant. 
“It does mean that. But it also means girlfriend. I don’t think Amanda thought you’d ever run into the word. It’s a bit old fashioned.” Stina explained. 
“Oh…” you said, feeling very stupid, and very relieved. 
“Come here,” Stina said, leaning back against the headrest and gesturing for you to settle against her. She grabbed the bag of ice on your foot and shifted it to lie comfortably again. “I’m sorry you had to go through the day thinking I’d invited you here under friendly pretenses.” 
You could tell she was making fun of you, just a little, but that there was sincerity in her voice too. One of her hands crept under your shirt, resting comfortingly on your stomach. 
“I hope you don’t treat all your friends like you did yesterday morning.” You replied, snuggling closer to her. For the first time in days your head wasn’t full of doubts, and you could relax wholly. You just wanted to enjoy her warmth around you. You had faith that tomorrow would be great, that you could finally enjoy your time here the way you were meant to.
She chuckled, hugging you closer to her and pressing a kiss to your upward-turned lips. 
“No, definitely not. I usually have better decision making skills around most people.” 
“I guess I’m just special then, huh?”
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raticalshoez · 6 months
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Man, there is just something so fascinating to me about the Boat Boys because I think their relationship has always been akin to like...the rockiest of waters (pun intended). I've just been thinking so much about it...
In 3rd Life, funnily enough, one of their first interactions was just them riding a boat together. In Last Life, Joel ended Etho's series. Even before being soulbonded they've had that sort of "me and the bestie/can't stand his fakeass" dynamic.
If anything was evident in Double Life, it's that they had fun together. It's safe to say they probably weren't the most loyal to one another, mainly due to Etho and his Bdubs withdrawal, but it would be wrong to say that they didn't enjoy each other's company. They both have the urge to cause chaos, but one's more upfront about it and the other is more subtle. They complimented each other and balanced out the other, and when the time came around, they died together poetically.
Limited Life was definitely...a season for Joel and Etho interactions. This season was filled with animosity, and constant jabs, and bitter callbacks to a past life. Boat Boys this season were just killing or insulting each other left and right, not finding a moment of comfort or piece around each other.
Then there's Secret Life. This one in particular makes me kind of insane because there's both the animosity and bite to their words when they're interacting with one another, but there was also sincerity. For a brief moment, these two were able to express genuine care that they still had for one another, and that's just crazy to me. Both Joel and Etho's characters don't know sincerity and always deal more mushy, heartfelt things awkwardly, so this was CRAZY for me. And it always hits harder for me because I've always just imagined Joel and Etho's relationship to just be a very strong, platonic bond. They have people who they are definitely closer to; Joel has people like Lizzie, Grian and Jimmy, and Etho has people like Bdubs, Cleo, and Tango. Those are people that they tend to naturally gravitate towards, but the two of them will always end up crossing paths. And well, that's what being soulmates is really about, right? It's not really about romance; it's about being bound to find this particular person in every universe, no matter what.
Out of all the people on the server, I never expected it to be them. Etho and Joel, the two guys who never seemed to be able to let go of their soul bond when everyone else had moved on to some capacity.
It's like how Martyn never left winter. It's like how Jimmy and Tango will always be each others' ranchers even though they no longer reside at the ranch. It's like how Scar and Grian know monopolies better than anyone. Cleo will always be caught up on BigB's betrayal and Lizzie will remain bitter about Cleo's destructive tendencies towards her home. Impulse will never let go of Bdubs' betrayal. It's the way Scott seems somewhat attached to literally ALL of his exes. The lifers just cannot be normal about each other and every new season adds to their insanity regarding one another.
If you've reached the end of this, I commend you. I'm not adding anything new to this conversation, I'm just yapping and blabbling about the Minecraft series that changed my life and altered my brain chemistry. These worms eat at my neurons everyday and I just HAVE to tell somebody, ANYBODY about my insanity.
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AITA for not telling my partners I'm a system?
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To preface this, I don't use Tumblr and I'm using my partner's account, so I would rather ask this anonymously. Forgive any non-tumblr-isms 😅.
This happened a while ago, but to be honest I can't let this go. I feel so horrible about it despite being reassured and I figured Tumblr, who has a lot of systems/people with DID/OSDD, would be able to give me an unbiased (as much as I can give an unbiased account, anyway) answer.
I, (24M), am a system with one headmate, P, (??). (Neither of us are sure how old he is, since it seems to change on the day). I don't want to get into exactly how I got him, but I believe the term for what we are is "traumagenic"? Sorry, again, I'm not really familiar with everything.
Anyway, I've had him since I was 8, and he's been... well, a real pain in the ass, to be frank. I understand now that he's a defender by nature and was trying to protect us, but when you get expelled from middle school for several physical attacks and almost get sent to juvie you start to resent the guy a bit. He's a bit like a sleeping bear, except if the sleeping bear had one eye open and killed you before you could hurt him.
Back when I got out of my abuser's house and went no contact at age 20, I moved in with my current partners, Bonfire (24M) and Greenhouse (25NB) (names changed for privacy, obviously.) At the time I didn't know them, but they were looking for another roommate and I desperately needed somewhere to live.
So I moved in with just the clothes on my back and my wallet (bad move, I know, but I didn't have anything anyway). I didn't care to interact with them all that much, not wanting P to get defensive and attack them for no reason, but they just kept pushing and eventually I relented and hung out with them some.
"Some" turned to "often," and then "often" turned into "sleeping-in-their-bed-and-sharing-our-clothes." At that point I was too far into it and embarrassed to admit I'd been hiding a whole other person from them in my mind. I wasn't sure if they'd even like me after, what with P's history of violence.
...so I never told them. I did my best to forget about anything that ever happened and tried to just enjoy the future I'd always wanted for myself. Bonfire and Greenhouse are lovely people and I was finally, maybe just a little happy. I'd never been a happy person and I was content to bask in it for as long as I was able.
This, of course, backfired immensely. P and I didn't have the best relationship at the time, with both of us wanting to do very extreme things to get away from the other. He wanted to kick me out and be by himself in my body, and I wanted to kill myself to be rid of him. We've since reconciled and made strides in accepting ourself for who we are- it hasn't been easy by any means, but that isn't the point.
I recognize now that he was afraid of being hurt again, not wanting to get out of that survival mindset in case Greenhouse and Bonfire turned out to be super-secret mega abusers taking advantage of our trust, but I also know what he did after was wrong.
He got physical with Bonfire, screaming at him and threatening to kill him if he got any closer. I don't have any memory of this happening, so some details may be incorrect, and I apologize for that. Bonfire, not knowing that P was not, in fact, me, (coupled with the fact that he's a fucking idiot (meant with affection)), he got closer and tried to talk me (him) down. P punched him in the face and broke his nose, after which he ran out of the house and left me to "wake up" a few miles away curled up under a tree.
P left me a note a few days later that said he didn't mean to break his (Bonfire's) nose, but that he was lucky he hadn't done worse. This, in P speak, is probably the most sincere apology I could get at the time.
To try and keep this as short as possible, I'll summarize what happened next. I told Bonfire and Greenhouse about P because at that point the cat was basically out of the bag. They said they'd wished I'd told them sooner, and that they were a little uncomfortable being in the same house as "the lean, mean, stabbing machine" (- Bonfire) but that they were willing to help me manage him if I promised to tell them everything I knew about how he worked.
I did, and it's been years since then, and now P and I are, as stated before, closer than ever. I recently asked my partners whether or not they were still upset with me for not telling them, and they just said that they weren't entitled to my medical history and trauma (which, yeah, but he did break Bonfire's nose) and that they didn't care because, "hey, we basically got a free dog out of it" (- Bonfire), and "we made a promise to love you, including all the less-than-savory parts." (- Greenhouse).
Sweet, yes, but I think I might be TA because, um, P LITERALLY BROKE BONFIRE'S NOSE AND THREATENED TO KILL HIM? AND IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED IF I HAD TOLD THEM?
TL;DR: I didn't tell my partners about my headmate that's prone to violence and he did violence on them and I feel bad.
AITA?
(P says hi, by the way, and he also wants me to tell you that he isn't like this anymore and much prefers soft blankets and eating fruit to breaking his family's noses.)
What are these acronyms?
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Buck & Eddie: "Is she staying in the picture?"... because Buck's not going anywhere!
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In a recent article, RG was asked about M and his response was:
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His response was similar to all his other answers regarding the status of Eddie's "relationship" with M or the lack thereof which could mean they will not be doing whatever they are or were attempting to do for long.
Also, as I included in a previous post (linked here), the colors of the t-shirt and hoodie Chris wore in 6x18 when Eddie was talking on the phone with M, illustrated something different than what he said about "Why is he so bad at this?" It showed that Chris is not ok with Eddie dating her, probably since he doesn't know her.
When asked what Chris thinks of Eddie's relationships, RG responded...
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I've also stated in other posts that whoever Eddie dates, they have to love both him and Chris and so far, the only person who fits that description is Buck!
Let's talk about M shall we?
In season 6, before 6x17 aired, I included in a post (linked here) that Eddie saw the way M looked at her brother in 6x5 with raised eyebrows and he witnessed the same thing the audience did... a sibling relationship that reminded him of that "Folgers TV commercial" from the 1980s. Also, reminder, most viewers didn't even remember who she was and based on several comments that were posted on social media both after the episode aired and recently, a lot of them still don't. Additionally, she doesn't have a last name (neither does Connor and Kameron but I'll elaborate on that in another post) so that illustrates how much the show cares about her character.
In this post, I'm elaborating more on the previous one and I'm taking things one step further by looking at the totality of Eddie's interactions with her in S6 and providing my opinion at the end.
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In 6x5, when the 118 arrived at M's home, Eddie didn't really even look at her, so it was interesting to see him do a double take later in the season.
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After they freed her brother from her attic, they put him in the ambulance and she rode with them to the hospital. This is the scene where Eddie peeped the fact that she might be in love with her brother and the looks on Eddie's and Chimney's faces were priceless. It's also the scene that prompted many comments from the audience about M's interaction with her brother.
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Later, in the same episode, Buck and Eddie returned with some additional firefighters (???) to help her repair her ceiling but please look at Eddie, he's wearing shades but IT WAS CLOUDY, THEREFORE THE SUN WAS NOT SHINING. Why was he wearing them when no one else was? Also, he arrived with Buck and they were looking at each other the same way they always do with Buck looking over his shoulder at Eddie (post linked here).
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In 6x17, when he saw her at the hardware store, he was there looking for something for Chris the same way he had been the last two times with SD and AF instead of him looking for something for himself (post linked here).
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In 4x13, Carla told him, "BE SURE YOU'RE FOLLOWING YOUR HEART AND NOT CHRISTOPHER'S, OK!" But it was more than two years later and he was still searching for the person who loves both him and Chris even though he was right in front of him. That person is Buck.
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In 6x18, when he was thinking about texting her, the scene where he got her number was never shown and viewers were trying to figure out when it happened. Reminder, in 6x5 Buck was there too and if he had gotten her number then, Buck would have said something when they were at the cemetery in 6x15 but he didn't.
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Later, when he finally did call, he said, "It's Eddie from the hardware store" and the reason he said it like that was because he told Buck in 6x15 that it never works out with someone they meet on a call. Well, Eddie in fact did meet her on a call which means their relationship or whatever... is/was DOOMED from the start just like Buck's was with N.
Now I have many thoughts about his interactions with M but I'll share the one I believe is the most relevant and the most important. When Eddie first met her, he didn't even notice her and later during the ambulance ride, he SAW the way she interacted with her brother, hence his raised eyebrows. Both him and Chimney were like WTF is this? And the audience felt the same way when we saw it too.
M is not memorable and most people had completely forgotten about her and the episode she first appeared in which I think was the point that was being made by 9-1-1. Nothing had changed about her from 6x5 to 6x17 so what exactly did he SEE months later that he didn't see before?
IMO, when Eddie saw her in 6x17, based solely on what he saw in 6x5 (the way she acted with her brother), he may have thought asking her out wouldn't be a big deal and it wouldn't go anywhere so he didn't have to worry about them getting too serious. And, the double take he did later in 6x17 when he bumped into her at the hardware store kind of proves it. Also, since he told Buck while they were at the cemetery, "Really? Dating someone you rescued? You know that never ends well!"; it appears they both knew that to be true but for whatever reason, they attempted to date M and N anyway (I have thoughts about this too and they're related to their conversation and other things that happened during season 6).
The point of this post is to highlight the possibility that Eddie knew going in with M that it wouldn't get too serious and it would end quickly. Now some people have created a whole life for Eddie and M even though he's only known her for a few weeks or a couple of months tops (depending on the time jump which is practically nonexistent). Please understand Eddie's number one priority is Chris and his number two is Buck, therefore M is so far down on the totem pole that anything she suggests about his son, his Buck, his job or his life would be laughed at by Eddie and viewers too and RG's comment about "if she's in the picture" kind of proves that point.
Let's talk about Buck, the love of Eddie's life shall we?
Eddie's relationship with Buck is a once in a lifetime, love of their lives, soulmate type of love that transcends space and time. I've said it numerous times (linked here) and I'll continue to say and scream it because they're in love with each other and NO ONE (no random love interest or hookup) will ever be able to give them what they've continued to share with each other for the past five years. Buck's definition of love in 5x18 described everything he already has with Eddie and Eddie putting Buck in his will as Chris' legal guardian was the second time he gave him his heart. Buck gave Eddie his heart too in 5x14.
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In RG's most recent interview, he confirmed Eddie loves Buck and not only does he love him, he said, "I love you to the core!"
If that's not a soulmate, love of my life type of love then, I don't know what is.
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Reminder, not only is M not in the picture, she's also NOT EVEN IN THE HOUSE. Even though AF stayed at Eddie's house during the blackout, he broke up with her after Buck told him he should🤪😜. Then he went home and told AF, "Maybe you should go home first" (I still LOL at that moment to this day). I wonder what he's going to say to M? Something like "Maybe you should go back to the hardware store." I know he won't but if he did, it would be EPIC.
They're in love your honor!
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Anyway, please remember Buck's not only been in the house but Eddie's home is his home too because Buck's not a guest there (post linked here).
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Buck and Eddie have keys to each other's places (they've had them for years).
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Furthermore, Eddie's couch is Buck's couch too and he's slept on it many times.
He's everything Eddie's been searching for in a partner and all he's been waiting for is for Buck to get it.
Will Buck finally realize Eddie gave him his heart years ago or will it be more wash, rinse and repeat scenes with both of them "looking for love in all the wrong places with too many faces?" (It's a song lyric.)
From the way OS talks about how much Buck loves Eddie and the way RG talks about how Eddie loves Buck, maybe, just maybe Season 7 will be the one that they finally go CANON but only the showrunner, writers and producers know if they will.
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litnerdwrites · 29 days
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Azriel in Silver Flames
I've basically hated the IC since... Acowar, honestly. But the more I think about it, the more conflicted I am about Azriel. I liked him in every book, but in retrospect, I'm not so sure anymore. This is mostly regarding his treatment of Nesta, since he honestly didn't do much before hand the start of Silver Flames, and he didn't do too much during it either.
I understand why Azriel would stay away from Nesta from the end of ACOWAR to the start of Silver Flames. He's observant, and I imagine he's figured out that Nesta doesn't want to spend time with the IC. Moreover, he may also see it as being in Feyre's jurisdiction, and wanting to stay out of it out of respect for her privacy and what not. It's his behaviour through out silver flames that has me conflicted.
Azriel was raised in confinement with limited interactions with other people. He saw his mother once a week, for limited time and suffered physical and verbal abuse, and torture during that time. He had no control over his schedule, food, social interactions, nothing. Yet, despite that, he allowed Nesta to be isolated and kept on a strict schedule and diet that she has no say in, and we never see any signs of him arguing against it. Especially since he knows being locked up somewhere against your will, where you can't leave, often made to do things you don't want, is what most of the IC's trauma roots from (Amren in the Prison, Rhys UTM, Feyre UTM, Mor in the CON, Azriel in his father's dungeon, etc). Why the, seemingly, most sensible person allowed this is beyond me.
Azriel, through out the book, never protests against this treatment either. He treats Nesta decently, though that is the absolute minimum. She should've been treated like that, regardless, of where she was or what she was doing.
He despises Illyria, knows the dangers out there, from both males and whatever's in those forests, yet he doesn't protest against Nesta going. We've seen that there are days where she wanders around on her own (like when she went to Emerie's), without protection. What would happen if she jumped off a cliff or a steep bluff? Or if she went into the forests? What about if some of the males attacked her? It's not like she was constantly supervised. trusting her witch status will keep them away is too risky, since some might not care. Azriel knows the dangers of Illyria, and he let her be taken there. He saw how Illyria hurt his mother, and how she was treated, first hand.
He doesn't do anything even after suspecting that Cassian pushed her down the stairs, or witnessing her being verbally abused by Cassian, and Rhys when he cares to show up. He doesn't defend her, or shut his brothers down, he just lets it happen, seemingly unbothered. Idk about you, but if I was at dinner, and my brother said to his girlfriend, the things that Cassian says to Nesta, I'd drag him out the front door by the hair myself.
Azriel also had a bag packed for Nesta and Cassian's hike from hell, waiting for Cassian to come get it. He let Cassian take Nesta somewhere else against her will. He, presumably, knew about the plan to take her on that hike, helped prepare for it, and just let it happen without a care. He knew where they were taking her, and what they were going to make her do, and he let it happen.
Then there's the issue regarding the Trove. Azriel pushes for Nesta's right to know about what her powers can do, yet he doesn't have any issue pushing her into life threatening situation to keep Elain from it? He says that Elain shouldn't be exposed to whatever darkness the trove and cauldron possess, but that alone implies that Nesta should be exposed to it, and that's despite her mental condition at the time.
While I don't think Azriel's status as a spymaster means he should know things like Nesta's fear of fire, and her suicidal ideation, but it does mean that there's a very good chance that he does (and yet he still sends her on that hike). Knowing this, Azriel implies that Nesta should go on these life threatening missions, where she could be killed, or commit suicide, or be taken.
Azriel is shown to stand up to/argue with Rhysand in the bonus chapters. He does so for himself and arguably Elain. Why doesn't he do it for Nesta too?
It's all of these little things that leave a bitter taste in my mouth regarding Azriel.
Would he have tried to beg/force Nesta to go instead of Elain had she refused, or if he would've stood up for Nesta if Cassian had become physically violent with her. If she refused to go on that hike, would he have fought for her right to chose like he did before? If Rhys tried to kill her, would he stand up to him for her? If Elain is mistreated in her book, would he stand up for her? If so, why not Nesta too? How can he call himself her friend if he doesn't at least try to talk about how wrong it is, assuming he even realises it's wrong to start with.
We haven't gotten much of his pov yet, and he doesn't really say much, but from what I have seen, I'm concerned. Azriel may not be actively trying to hurt Nesta, but it feels like he enables his brothers and his court too much.
Didn't Tamlin dod the same, along with his court, who watched Feyre whither away, and did nothing. Even if they didn't see what was happening in her head, they saw her wasting away from lack of sleep or food. Isn't Azriel doing the same to Nesta by letting her be treated that way? Reaming neutral still makes him part of the problem, doesn't it?
Am I the only one who gets this bad taste in my mouth when I think about this?
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chaotic-archaeologist · 9 months
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got a question for ya regarding sex and online safety.
Background; I am an adulty adult. I have been able to and have voted in more than 3 elections. [I know you take interactions with minors seriously]. I am also ace and autistic. as a result I have never felt the urge to date and I normally don't mind having friends close by.
However, I also just moved for the 4th time since 2019 and would like to meet people.
So I downloaded Grindr. already got my first dickpic lol. I have also been chatting with a fellow who I like and would like to be friends with and I also wouldn't mind exploring my kinks with people... but I have never had to worry about safe online sexy stuff before so I don't know the basics beyond normal internet safety.
What do I do‽‽‽
Okay first, thanks for clarifying the adulty part. This is an awesome question, and here's the advice/steps that I personally follow for situations like this.
Have your first meeting in a public place. Go for coffee or ice cream or lunch or dinner or whatever. But don't meet them alone. This way, if you get uncomfortable with anything that's happening, they're much less likely to continue with that behavior after you attempt to extricate yourself.
Make sure there are no expectations. Plan not to have sex on the first date/meet up. Grindr often tends to ignore this rule since it's very hookup centric, but you're absolutely within your rights to insist on taking things as slowly as you want to.
Don't rely on the other person for transportation. If you choose to meet someone, get yourself there and plan to get yourself back. Walk, bike, drive, public transportation, unicycle, it's all good. But there's much less room for pressure if you're not depending on them for a ride home. This segues nicely into my next point:
Do not tell them where you live. At least, not right now. Plenty of people on Grindr are willing to "host" meaning you can come to their place. That's fine for them, but I err on the side of never giving anyone my address until I've had a thorough chance to assess their character and meet them a few times.
Tell someone where you will be. Let someone who cares about you know that you're going out, where you'll be, and what time you expect to return. Establish a time to check in when you're going home/if you choose to extend the meeting. There are also apps like Noonlight that can function similarly.
Be careful about what you consume. If you're going to enjoy and mind alternating substances, be very, very careful. This goes for anything from getting drinks at a bar to any and all of the recreational drugs on the market.
Be prepared for a little bit of awkwardness. Meeting someone in person is often very different than chatting online. If the conversation is awkward or halting, that's okay. Give it a little time (but also don't be afraid to trust your gut if it's telling you something is wrong).
Communicate clearly. If you have any needs—which can range from an allergy, not being able to stand for long periods of time, needing them to speak loudly so you can hear them, safety concerns—the best way to get those met is to be upfront. You don't need to disclose the reason why you need something if it makes you uncomfortable, just state what you need. People worth spending time with will respect that. The same thing goes for your wants.
Use protection. Maybe this isn't applicable for you specifically, but I think it belongs on this list. Condoms. Dental dams. Gloves. Someone on an app telling you they're negative for any number of things is not an actual guarantee they're not lying to you. Not wanting to use protection (not just for anal/vaginal intercourse, but for oral sex as well) is a huge red flag. Decide in advance what your boundaries are and stick to them.
If it sucks, hit da bricks. Fundamentally, you owe this person nothing. There is no consequence for saying "you know what, I'm not feeling this and I'm going to leave." Be as polite as you want to, but put yourself first.
At the end of the day, the only thing you have control over is you. How you react, where you meet this person, what you do—that's what you control. Hopefully any meet ups will be fun and relatively safe, but just in case, set yourself up for success by maintaining what control you can.
From one adult to another, these are all suggestions rather than rules. Many people on Grindr choose not to follow various ones, and that's fine. Take some time to think about what you're comfortable with and make your decisions accordingly.
Also, best practice for someone sending an unsolicited dick pic (if you don't want them) is just to block that person. But sending a return picture like this one is a hilarious option.
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-Reid
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anticmiscellaney · 1 month
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I absolutely adore your work! What's your process been like for writing NewOldRare and developing Neil and Louis? Your art and character writing feel so genuine and realistic to me, so I'm really curious how you go about it!
Thank you! I've always been obsessed with character-driven stories and interaction, so I guess this is the result of years of practice and observation, and dismantling stories that do and don't work to see why.
Unfortunately, there isn't a clear way to explain it. It's one of those "you know when you get it right" things, requiring an eye developed over a long time. I will redraw things if I don't feel like I've captured the nuance I wanted to, and a few months later I'll look at it and see where I could have done better. Same with writing. I'm obsessed with pacing and page design, I had a moment of "that's how I think about it too" when Will Eisner described comic panels like music.
The technical approach is I make notes about stories I want to write, then I expand that into outlines, then scripts, then thumbnails, then I draw the comics and colour them and finalise the dialogue. At every stage I'm asking myself if it feels right, if I'm getting across what I want to. That's not to say there aren't surprises and things don't develop organically, but every stage is an attempt to solve as many problems as I can before the next stage. My thumbnails are quite detailed because it makes pencils easier, and I spend a while on them.
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I have total aphantasia so I am operating off feeling rather than any mental images. I have no idea how it works and no idea why I pursue this when I'm missing what many visual artists describe as a crucial component. I just do it and I have better things to do (art) than wonder about something I can't change. I don't think it's made me a better or worse artist, though I think it has given me different ways of approaching/developing things. But also, literally everything about you makes your work different to everyone else's work.
You need to care. If your character is into music, listen to that music. If they have an old car that keeps breaking down, read up on common problems for that model. If they work as a film projectionist, watch a training film about using the machine. The characters care about things, have things in their lives that matter, have skills and interests and challenges. If I don't care enough to understand them, why should anyone reading it care, and also why am I writing it if I don't care?
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So I do, and in caring I understand them better. This helps me develop characters/story but it also gives me so much more to write/draw. Understanding how things work and how they are done from a physical standpoint makes writing/drawing them easier too. The more you put into your head, the more you can get out later. I'll do way less for a 12 page short than for a 300 page graphic novel, obviously. Pick your battles, a little can go a long way.
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They tell artists to collect visual references - solid advice - but you should collect substance too. If you pay attention, you will hear and see things you could never in a million years make up.
I find online socialising difficult, so I go out regularly and talk to people, or just hang around and observe. Chatting with strangers mostly involves listening to them. No one in gay spaces is interested in flirting with me (I'm rather homely and queer men assume I'm straight) but I think an audience is just as appealing sometimes, and maybe even harder to find. You'd be amazed what people will tell you if you're genuinely interested and listening. I once spent forty minutes at a sci-fi con talking to a guy who'd recently gotten into fisting. While I have zero personal desire to partake in that activity (and he had no interest in being fisted by me), I'm engaged, I'm invested, I'm asking questions, spare no detail.
I collect behavior and movement and the ways people interact too. Reading stories on reddit or whatever is one thing, but the words might not be as interesting as the way they're standing, the way their hands move, the way they respond. A guy in a bar once literally humped my leg like a dog because he felt I wasn't paying enough attention to him. I would never think of that as a response to that situation, but he did, and he followed through. Fortunately my friend had just tried to drunkenly sit down and missed the chair, otherwise I would never hear the end of it.
I see the leghumper around sometimes, he's got a boyfriend and avoids making eye contact with me, thank god.
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cupid-styles · 17 days
Text
personal update below the cut for those who care :)
(but here's the tldr for people who don't wanna read:
-break is (hesitantly) over -when sending messages, you should always remember there's someone on the other end of that ask!!!! and they will read whatever thing you chose to send them! -I will never be one to judge, but please remember that not everyone shares the same kinks! so before you send an ask about whatever sexual situation you're thinking about, I suggest asking the writer beforehand if this is something they feel comfortable talking about or diving into.
thanks! love u!)
HELLOOOO!! I hope you're all doing well. I'm putting a very .... hesitant ....... end to my break ! I've been feeling better about coming on here and chatting with everyone and I really just feel so thankful to all the people who sent me kind messages and voiced their support. thank you so much for your love and please know it meant SO much to me <3
I had to do some thinking about how I wanted to approach being a part of this community. ultimately, I decided that I need to put up some boundaries and stop pressuring myself to be this ~perfect~ version of myself on here. in full and complete honesty, I feared that if I wasn't posting a new piece of writing at least once a week, or I wasn't replying to every ask that comes through my inbox, people would stop caring. how silly! at the end of the day, I preach all the time about how this is a hobby that should be enjoyed when I wasn't even enjoying it myself.
there won't be many changes that you (my followers) may notice, but on my end, I'll be putting out writing whenever it feels right. maybe for a little bit I'll post weekly but then my inspiration runs out and I only post once in a month! who knows!
I also won't be answering every ask that comes through. this was a big issue for me. I started getting very uncomfortable sexual asks that I think (?) were serious. I know most of you prioritize kindness when interacting with me, but I just reiterate that you should always remember there's someone on the other end of that ask!!!! and they will read whatever thing you chose to send them!
and.........with more taboo kinks, I'll never be the one to judge you, but please remember that not everyone shares those kinks! so before you send an ask about whatever sexual situation you're thinking about, I suggest asking the writer beforehand if this is something they feel comfortable talking about or diving into.
(I feel like the people who have read this far don't need that reminder but you never know gfkdgkfdjgkj)
again, thank u so much for all the support and love. I love you guys v much.
idk let's end this post on a high note so here are some actual fun updates
new meds are finally working (yahoo!)
I'm moving (yahoo!)
I watched the eclipse on monday (space is cool, yahoo!)
im back in my crocheting era (yahoo!)
I love u more than you know. YAHOO!
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genshinluvr · 1 year
Text
Insecurities and Jealousy
Pairings: Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader (Zhongli x Isekai'd!Reader)
Summary: Your insecurity and jealousy get the best of you, causing you to overthink. You assumed Zhongli would leave you for someone else because she (Lumine) looks a tiny bit like Guizhong (according to Venti). The tension between you and Zhongli proceeds to grow, thus you demand that Zhongli prove that he cares about you when the twenty-four men leave your bedroom to give you and Zhongli some privacy to speak.
Note: This is part two (and a request) of "Overprotective with a Hint of Jealousy," it will be linked down below. I think you can read this without having to read the first part tbh. The requester wanted this fic to be Zhongli focused and that is what I did. This post does contain smut, and it's been a while since I've written and posted smut, so I can't promise that it's good 💀 Here are my usual heads up regarding the smut-fics I post: every single one of my smuts, the reader is either a female!reader or an AFAB!reader. I try to keep it as gender-neutral as possible, but all of my smut-fics do lean more towards female!reader/AFAB!reader. Minors, DO NOT INTERACT! As usual, I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).
Warnings: Horribly written smut (as usual), Zhongli has two dicks, oral sex (both receiving), double penetration, handjob, deep throating, cervix fucking, biting, slight mentions of blood, spitting, and hair pulling.
Word Count: 10.3k
You can find part one of Insecurities and Jealousy right here: Overprotective with a Hint of Jealousy.
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You’re the jealous type, and you hate it. You hate the feeling of your heart clenching in your chest and a sense of inadequacy. It’s an ugly feeling. It makes you feel like a terrible person whenever you get jealous of the people around you or someone that has passed on to the afterlife. You know she was his friend; they were nothing more than close friends. But why do you feel a raging fire pit forming in your gut when you know that there is an area in Liyue with their names combined? In your world, it’s a ship name. 
Zhongli has reassured you that he and Guizhong are nothing more than friends. Close friends. But would close friends form an alliance and name part of Liyue with their names combined? You think the fuck not. Perhaps they were not creative with naming that part of the region? Either way, you hate that it exists and wish you never feel this way. You’re brought out of your thoughts when the glass cup shatters before you. You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, rubbing your throbbing temples with your index and middle finger.
You look at Albedo. “Apologies for breaking another beaker. I was distracted with my thoughts,” you murmur, giving Albedo an apologetic smile. 
Albedo sweeps the shattered glass into the dustpan. “There’s nothing to apologize about, [Y/N]. If you need to take a breather, you can step out for a moment,” Albedo says.
Albedo is telling you to leave. Although, you don’t blame him for wanting you to go if that’s what he’s implying. Maybe you do need a breather, or else you’ll take your jealousy out on another glass beaker in the lab. After all, this is the fifth beaker you have broken within two hours of helping Albedo with his project.
You nod, letting out a long exhale through your nostrils. “You’re right, Albedo. I need to take a breather and collect my thoughts,” you said. 
Albedo squeezes your shoulders and continues to sweep the glass shards into the dustpan, throwing them into the trash bin. You take your lab coat off and hang it on the coat rack near the door. You leave Albedo’s laboratory and press your back against the wall, sighing for the umpteenth time today. You push yourself away from the wall and stomp down the stairs. You’re glad the stairs have a rug because you don’t want to put anyone in a negative mood because of the thoughts that are hounding you. 
Once you have reached the bottom of the stairs, Lumine perks up and waves at you. When did she get here? You give Lumine a smile and wave at her. 
“Lumine! What are you doing here at the abode? Babysitting Aether again?” You ask.
Aether scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “She’s not babysitting me, [Y/N]! And for your information, I invited Lumine over because I didn’t want to be alone when Zhongli drones on about the history of Liyue,” Aether jokes. 
You blink at Aether’s response, finally noticing the former Geo archon sitting across from Lumine and Aether. Zhongli sips on his tea, ignoring Aether’s comment about him droning on about Liyue’s history. You purse your lips and nod. As much as you would like to join them, Zhongli didn’t invite you, so why should you invite yourself?
Lumine rolls her eyes at Aether’s comment, nudging his side with her elbow. “Be nice, Aether!” She hisses. Lumine turns to you and smiles politely as if she wasn’t close to smacking her twin brother in front of you and the former Geo archon not too long ago. “Would you like to join us, [Y/N]? Zhongli was about to talk about Guizhong and the Guizhong ballista,” Lumine says nonchalantly.
Your eye twitches at the mention of her name. Oh, archons, her again? Do you even have the patience and courage to stay and listen to your boyfriend talk about a friend that has passed away thousands of years ago? No, no, you do not. Plus, Zhongli never invited you, so it would be rude for you to impose. He certainly did not invite you for a good reason, and for once, you’re glad he didn’t ask you to join the conversation.
You shake your head. “No, no, it’s fine. I was helping Albedo with his experiment, and now I’m taking a much-needed break,” you said.
“Aw! Come on, snookums! Why not join us?” Childe asks, walking into the room with a teapot in his hands. 
You raise an eyebrow. “Childe, I didn’t know you were part of Zhongli, Aether, and Lumine’s tea party,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. 
“There are more audiences, but they’re currently on a bathroom break. We’ve been sitting here for almost two hours drinking tea and learning about Liyue’s history,” Gorou says, stretching his arms in the air as he walks into the room.
You prop your hands on your hips. “Is that so? And I wasn’t invited?” You ask lightheartedly.
You mask your hurt with a lighthearted tone. You’re conflicted on whether you should feel offended that Zhongli didn’t think once or twice to invite you. Or if you should feel relieved that you didn’t have to sit through almost two hours of Zhongli talking about Liyue and her. Archons, this feeling is so ugly. 
“I didn’t think you’d be interested in listening to the long history of Liyue. Besides, you were helping the chief alchemist with his experiment,” Zhongli says casually. 
Venti plops down in his seat beside Aether. “If we’re talking about the God of Dust, she looks a little similar to Lumine. Only, she has a rat tail like block-head over there, and her hair is gray,” Venti says casually. 
Venti’s comment makes you dread being in the presence of Zhongli and Lumine. If Guizhong looks a little similar to Lumine, could that mean that Zhongli may have felt some kind of attraction toward the blonde girl? What if Lumine was the reincarnation of Guizhong? No, it’s not possible because Lumine isn’t even from Teyvat. The raging fire pit in your stomach that is jealousy has grown after hearing Venti’s comment. 
Noticing your change of demeanor, Thoma nudges Venti and gestures for the anemo archon to keep his mouth shut. Venti’s eyes widen, and he makes an “oops” face. Thoma turns to you and gives you a smile.
“Do you want anything to eat? You have been helping the chief alchemist for a few hours,” Thoma says, getting ready to leave his seat. 
You give Thoma a strained smile and shake your head. “Oh, no, I’m not hungry. I’m about to go to Luhua Pool,” you said, pointing at the entrance of the estate.
You didn’t plan on going to Luhua, but now that you think about it, a change of scenery would be nice. Not only that, but you’re hoping the view of the blue waters would keep your mind off of Zhongli talking about Guizhong and how Lumine looks a little similar to Guizhong. The pit in your stomach grows when you see the light shade of pink on Lumine’s cheeks. To you, you see it as Lumine blushing at Venti’s comparison to the God of Dust. Still, in reality, Lumine was blushing from embarrassment and refraining from strangling the anemo archon for comparing her to the woman you envy. 
Lumine knows about your distaste and jealousy toward the deceased archon. You expressed your frustrations to Lumine a few days ago. The frustration was more directed toward yourself than the God of Dust and former Geo archon. She knew how much you hate feeling jealous over their friendship. Lumine prays that you won’t hate her or grow a dislike for her because she and Guizhong look a tiny bit alike.
“Why are you going to Luhua Pool alone? There is danger outside the abode,” Xiao says, standing behind you with his arms crossed over his torso, frowning at you.
You look at Xiao and smile at him. “I’m going to Luhua Pool to clear my mind, Xiao. I messed up on Albedo’s experiment because I was distracted,” you explain, tucking your hands into your pockets.
You weren’t wrong about that part. You were distracted by the overwhelming jealousy directed toward Zhongli and Guizhong’s friendship. You wanted to have someone that cared about you as much as he cared about her. You wanted to have someone that keeps the memory of you alive when you’re gone, like how he does with Guizhong and the past adeptis that were once by his side. Yes, your boyfriends love and care about you, and you acknowledge that! But does Zhongli care about you as much as the other men do? Does Zhongli care about you as much as he cares about Guizhong? Does he care about you more than he does for her, or is it the other way around?
So many questions ran through your mind, making your throbbing temples worsen. You close your eyes and rub your temples. The sooner you leave the abode, the sooner you can (hopefully) soothe your aching temples. 
Heizou approaches you, placing a light touch on your shoulder. “Do you want someone to accompany you? You don’t look too good,” Heizou murmurs.
You shake your head. “I’ll be fine, Heizou. Like I said before, I need to clear my mind,” you reply.
Before anyone can protest, you make your way to the entrance of the estate. Your throbbing temples are hurting almost as much as your heart. You end up finding yourself sitting at the top of the mountain in Luhua Pool, looking out at the bluest water you have ever seen. It’s nice and quiet. The only things you hear are the wind blowing, treasure hoarders conversing from afar, birds chirping, and the sound of your heart breaking. The last part is a little dramatic, but you can’t help it. 
While the sun is beating down on your hot skin, you debate whether you should sit under a tree to cool off or just remain where you’re sitting. A twig snaps behind you, making you tense up and freeze where you’re sitting. You’re afraid that if you turn around, you will see Zhongli standing behind you. 
You keep your eyes on the waters in front of you. “Zhongli, if you’re here to scold me for leaving the abode so suddenly, I don’t want to hear it,” you sigh, resting your head on your chin.
“Huh. Last time I checked, my name’s not Zhongli,” you hear a nonchalant voice say.
The person sits beside you, leans back, and looks at the view before you two. You didn’t say anything. What are you supposed to say, really? Were you supposed to explain to Diluc why you left the abode to sit at Luhua Pool?
Diluc sighs and places his hand on his lap. “You don’t need to say anything. I’m here to keep you company, even if you want to be alone,” Diluc says.
You close your eyes and rest your head on Diluc’s shoulder. Diluc shifts beneath you and wraps his right arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You were tempted to tease him for being protective, but you don’t blame him for being that way. After all, he (and the other men) did witness you getting injured in many ways a few days ago. It was humiliating. You never want to live through that kind of stuff ever again, but knowing yourself and your luck, that’s not going to happen any time soon. You close your eyes and let yourself snuggle up against the pyro vision holder. 
“You know what I have always wondered?” You whisper, breaking the silence between the two of you.
Diluc hums in response, letting you know to continue.
“Ever since I arrived in Teyvat, I wondered if the people in my world know about my disappearance. I wonder if there are people that miss me or remember my existence,” you said, opening your eyes and gazing out toward Luhua Pool. “I know that he cares about me, but sometimes it feels like he cares about her more than he cares about me,” you murmur.
You are the present, and she is the past, but he’s keeping the memories of her alive. The people of Liyue and the adeptis are keeping the memories of Guizhong alive. Seeing how much people love and care about her, how they still think about her despite her perishing thousands of years ago, made you wish that you had friends like them. You don’t think your friends back in your universe are aware of your disappearance. Heck, you don’t think your parents or siblings care about your lack of presence in their world. 
Footsteps approach where you and Diluc are sitting, breaking the silence between you and the redhead. 
“So this is where you two have run off,” Dainsleif says, sitting beside you, sandwiching you between him and Diluc.
You sigh and lift your head. “How many of you followed me to Luhua Pool?” You ask, looking turning to look and seeing the other men trying to sneak up toward you, Dainsleif and Diluc.
Kaeya crosses his arms over his chest. “Are we not allowed to be worried about our significant other?” Kaeya asks.
“We noticed your change of demeanor when Zhongli’s friend was mentioned, and we wanted to check up on you to see if you’re okay,” said Kazuha. 
You give the men a tight smile and nod. Even though you feel like shit for being jealous of Zhongli’s deceased close friend, you might as well pretend to be okay. Maybe that will flip your emotions, and you’ll be okay! Maybe. You’re not entirely sure if it’ll work since you let your feelings get to you almost all the time.
You stand and brush the dirt off your clothes. “I’m fine, really! As I said in the estate, I needed to clear my mind. I was distracted by my thoughts, and it caused me to break a few beakers in Albedo’s laboratory,” you explain.
“We also want to inform you ahead of time that Zhongli wants to speak to you once you return to the estate,” Ayato interjects.
Oh. So now Zhongli wants to talk to you after not inviting you to join him and the others for tea? You huff and walk off.
“Why should I speak to him? Zhongli didn’t speak to me earlier today, nor did he think once or twice about inviting me to have tea with him. I think he can wait a little longer to speak to me,” you said.
Gorou’s eyes widen, watching you walk closer to the edge of the cliff. Gorou tugs the shirt of the person closest to him, too scared to even speak up. Kaveh rushes over to you and grabs you by the wrist, pulling you toward his chest and walking far from the edge. It’s like you’re intentionally trying to walk off the cliff and end your life. You let Kaveh drag you off, mentally cursing at Zhongli and the dead god. Actually, cross that off. You’re mentally cursing at yourself for being this way. Your jealousy stems from your insecurities and lack of confidence. Your lack of confidence is because of the people in your life that had put you down at every chance they get. 
Al Haitham gives you a slight glare. “Please don’t try to walk off the edge of the cliff. What if none of us are here to protect you?” Al Haitham scolds you.
Kaveh makes a face. “I think that’s what they intended on doing,” Kaveh mutters loud enough for Al Haitham to hear.
“I think you had plenty of time to clear your mind! Let’s head back to the abode! A nap can also help you clear your thoughts and distract the storm brewing in that pretty little head of yours,” Itto says, ruffling your hair. 
You shake your head stubbornly. “I’m not returning to the abode now. I barely had fifteen minutes of alone time to myself. I’m glad that all of you care about me and want to protect me, but….” you trail off, sighing in defeat.
“How about this: we let you sit here and clear your mind while we stand from a distance to give you some space,” Tighnari suggests. 
“I don’t think they want people to stare at them while they’re trying to collect their thoughts,” Cyno mutters to Tighnari. 
Tighnari gives Cyno a subtle glare and nudges the Mahamatra’s stomach with his elbows. Cyno holds back a grunt, clutches his stomach, and shoots a not-so-subtle glare back at the forest watcher. 
You end up taking Tighnari’s suggestion. The men stood ten feet from where you were sitting while you let your feet dangle off the edge of the cliff with your back pressing against the tree stump. You’re not mentally or emotionally prepared to face Zhongli. All you know is that Zhongli will most likely give you a lecture or scold you for acting like a child for getting jealous of his deceased friend. 
Other than not being mentally or emotionally prepared to face Zhongli, you’re not ready to unpack all of the explanations as to what made you insecure and jealous easily. Quite frankly, you don’t blame Zhongli if he does end up scolding you for feeling and acting this way. It’s childish, and you don’t have anything to worry about besides him scolding you soon. Sometimes you question what these men see in you. You’re not a knight, an Adeptus, an archon, a high-profiled figure, or anything for that matter. What made these men drawn to you other than being able to control them back in your world whenever you played Genshin Impact?
You soon find yourself drowning in self-doubt. Not only are you questioning Zhongli’s feelings for you, but you’re also beginning to question the other men’s thoughts and feelings for you. They can have anyone they want, and yet they choose you. Someone who doesn’t hold a vision and isn’t from their universe. You’re brought out of your thoughts when you feel someone zap your ribs. You let out a loud yelp and flinch so hard that you swore something in your head popped, sending waves of sharp pain through your head, causing tears to well up in your eyes. 
“We told you not to zap them,” You hear Baizhu scold Scaramouche as he walks over to you and helps you up from the ground.
Scaramouche shrugs his shoulders. “I tried getting their attention without zapping them, but after a while, I had no choice,” Scaramouche says defensively.
You clutch onto the back of your head and bury your face into Baizhu’s chest while he rubs your head and walks to the teapot that sits idly by. Pierro raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms over his chest. You let out small sniffles and wipe a stray tear that threatens to make its way down your cheek.
Pierro stops you and Baizhu in your tracks by holding his hand out in front of the two of you. “Did something happen?” Pierro asks, slowly looking over at Scaramouche.
You give Pierro a strained smile and shake your head. “Other than Scaramouche zapping me, nothing happened. Although I do believe that I should get my head checked out just in case,” you said softly. 
Dottore sighs beside Pierro and walks ahead of the group. “I’ll be getting the infirmary ready for the check-up. Doctor Baizhu and Tighnari, please make sure that [Y/N]’s condition doesn’t worsen before arriving at the estate.” 
The strange pop in your head was painful, and it felt oddly hot too. It was like a blood vessel had popped inside your head, and the heat that spread throughout that area was the blood oozing everywhere. You can’t describe the feeling specifically, but you have experienced this before, but it doesn’t happen as often. 
“Who died and put him in charge?” Pantalone mutters to Capitano, who shrugs in response.
Back at the estate, you stare at the familiar ceilings. You lost count of how many times you have visited the estate’s infirmary, and it’s pretty concerning. Albedo, Dottore, Baizhu, and Tighnari are quietly conversing with each other, looking over the notes and paperwork regarding your check-up. 
“What’s the diagnosis?” Capitano asks casually.
Your head snaps up, and you look at the masked (helmet?) man with wide eyes. “There’s no diagnosis, Capitano! Or, I hope there’s no diagnosis,” you said nervously. 
Dottore walks to you and gazes at you underneath his mask. “How’s your head feeling? Does it still hurt?” He asks.
You rub the back of your head where the pain was before returning to the abode. Thankfully, the pain isn’t there, but you do feel the phantom pain. You don’t feel the pain, but it feels like it’s still there. As if the pain is lingering.
You shake your head. “It doesn’t hurt, but it’s lingering. I don’t feel it, but I still remember what it felt like,” you trail off. “I can’t explain it. I’m terrible at explanations,” you chuckle bitterly.
“Well, from the descriptions you have given us at the start of the check-up, it’s an ice pick headache,” Baizhu says.
You stare at Baizhu owlishly. “It’s not serious, is it?” You ask.
Tighnari shakes his head. “It’s not a serious condition where we have to monitor you and have you go through treatments. The only time we have to do that is if it’s recurring,” Tighnari explains.
Albedo crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the counter in the infirmary. “How often do you get the ice pick headache?” Albedo inquires.
“I rarely get them. If I remember clearly, the last time I had the ice pick headache was when I was still in my world, but it was maybe two years ago,” you reply. 
Pantalone smiles and ruffles your hair affectionately. “Then you should be fine, and you have nothing to worry about,” Pantalone says.
You smile at him and nod in agreement. Pantalone and Tighnari are right; you have nothing to worry about. You’re glad you don’t get the ice pick headaches often and that it’s a rare occurrence for you. You leave the estate’s infirmary feeling a tiny bit better and less worried about your impending doom. Speaking of impending doom, there’s something you forget about, but you don’t remember what it was.
Here you are, sitting on the swinging bench in the back of the estate with a tub of ice cream on your lap and a giant spoon in your right hand. The estate is lively as ever, with the men running outside and yelling profanities at each other. Then there’s you, sitting from a distance in the shade, eating ice cream. You wanted to participate and join in on the fun, but the heavy feeling in your chest is weighing you down and is making it hard for you to join them.
You cross your legs and hug the tub of ice cream to your chest, scooping the ice cream into your mouth and letting it melt in your mouth. This heavy feeling in your chest gives you the sudden urge to want to cry. Perhaps it's because you can’t join the others and have fun with them, or it’s the heavy feeling of jealousy that continues to cling to you like a wet t-shirt. 
You sigh and stab the spoon into the strawberry ice cream. “Man, I feel like shit,” you said to yourself.
“And could it be because you’ve been avoiding Zhongli all day?” Aether asks, approaching you with Heizou and Venti by his side. Then there’s Thoma trailing behind the three of them as well, waving at you with a small smile. 
You roll your eyes and pull the spoon out of the ice cream. “No, it’s not because of that, Aether. You know why,” you said, eyes lingering over to where Zhongli, Baizhu, and Lumine were sitting while chatting and watching the others chase each other. “I need to come to an agreement with myself that I’ll always be second best. Or an afterthought,” you grumble.
“I don’t know if you know this, but Lumine has been giving Zhongli an earful after you left the estate to clear your mind at Luhua Pool,” Venti says casually. He plops down beside you and takes the tub of ice cream from your lap.
Heizou nods. “She’s been scolding him quite often. I think she’s scolding him right now because that’s what she was doing before we went over to where you’re sitting,” Heizou says.
You rub your stomach and furrow your eyebrows. You’re starting to get a stomachache, and you’re pretty sure that it’s the ice cream’s fault. You’re not lactose intolerant. You’re weak, but not that weak when it comes to dairy. 
Before Venti can eat the ice cream scoop, you snatch the tub from Venti’s hand and begin searching for the expiration date. The stomachache worsens, making you almost drop the tub. Your eyes land on the expiration date, and you smack yourself on the forehead.
“This thing has expired for three months now,” you deadpan. 
Thoma gasps a little bit too loudly. “Oh, crap! So, that’s what I forgot to throw out!” Thoma smacks his forehead.
Thoma takes the ice cream tub from your hand and the spoon discarded on the grass. You shake your head, get up from the swinging bench and jog back into the estate. You’re not going to visit the infirmary yet. That will be the last resort if the stomachache worsens and you have non-stop diarrhea. 
To be frank, you would rather blow up the toilet and have a stomachache than have to vomit. Not only do you hate throwing up, but throwing up is one of your worst fears, and you do not want to empty out your stomach all because you ate expired ice cream. Dammit! Why didn’t you check to see if the ice cream was expired before eating half of the tub?! You hope Thoma doesn’t blame himself for not throwing out the ice cream. It’s your fault for not checking the expiration date, not Thoma’s fault. 
You quickly go to your bathroom, slam the door shut, lock the door, and mentally and physically prepare to obliterate the toilet because, oh boy, you can feel it coming. Needless to say, it was horrendous. After using the bathroom, you have decided to check the expiration date for everything before ingesting it. 
You’re lucky that you only ate ice cream that expired three months ago and not many other expired foods. If it weren’t just ice cream, you would’ve been puking up your guts and literally shitting your pants simultaneously. It doesn’t sound pleasant, but that is the reality of ingesting expired food. That and you could potentially give yourself food poisoning or develop the symptoms of food poisoning. 
You leave the bathroom, walking funny. You collapse on your bed and clutch your stomach, groaning silently. You have never shitted your guts out like that before, and you don’t want to experience it ever again. On the bright side, your stomach doesn’t hurt anymore, and you’re pretty sure you have pooped out every last bit of expired ice cream you have eaten.
A knock at the door interrupts your thoughts. You lift your head and stare at the door, watching the door crack open and Gorou peeking his head into your room. Gorou gives you a nervous smile and enters your room when you gesture for him to enter. 
Itto peeks his head into your room after Gorou enters your bedroom, giving you a small smile. You wave at Itto weakly and motion for Itto to enter. You don’t want him to be standing at the door awkwardly while Gorou is conversing with you.
“I heard from Thoma that you ate expired ice cream. How are you feeling?” Gorou asks, standing at the foot of your bed.
You lay your head on your pillow and close your eyes. “At first, I felt okay. But then it hit me, and I was on the toilet for who knows how long. But right now, I’m feeling okay! My stomach isn’t hurting anymore, and I’m pretty sure I shit out my guts,” you mutter.
“That’s good to hear,” Itto leans on your desk, “everyone is downstairs checking the expiration date of every food in the kitchen and pantry right now,” Itto says.
You hear another knock coming from the door. You, Itto, and Gorou look at the door and see Childe pushing the door open after peeking his head into your room. You grab the nearest pillow and rest your head on it, watching Childe and Zhongli walk into your room. You’re kind of shocked to see Zhongli walk through the door holding a cup of tea in his hands, accompanying Childe. You sit and pat the empty spot on your bed beside you, gesturing for Childe (and maybe Zhongli if he wants to sit, but you’re not sure) to sit on the bed.
“Zhongli brewed you some tea for your stomach. You didn’t throw up or anything, did you?” Childe asks, sitting beside you.
You shake your head. “The only thing I did was shit my guts out, but that did help me with the awful stomachache I was feeling,” you answer, rubbing your stomach.
Zhongli hands the teacup over to you. “I brewed you some tea to drink that’ll help you with your stomachaches. Make sure to drink it all, alright?” Zhongli murmurs.
You reach for the teacup and quietly thank the former Geo archon. You take a sip of the tea and scrunch your face when the scorching hot tea touches your tongue. The tea didn’t taste too bad. From what you can tell, it tastes like green tea. You’ve had green tea many times back in your world, but it’s been a while since you’ve drunk it. The heat from the tea warms your stomach up, sending shivers down your spine. You made sure to drink the entire tea before handing back the empty teacup to Zhongli. 
“Knock, knock!” Kaveh sing-song, earning an eye roll from Al Haitham.
“Please don’t sing,” Al Haitham deadpans, “I would rather hear the Rishboland Tigers mate than hear you sing.”
Al Haitham’s comment earns an offended gasp from the blond man. Before Kaveh can respond to Al Haitham’s statement (and insult), Cyno shoves past Al Haitham and Kaveh. Cyno turns to look at the two men behind him, who narrowed their eyes at him. Cyno rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. 
“Now is not the time to bicker over something petty,” Cyno states before looking at you, “Tighnari wanted me to tell you to come down to the infirmary to get a check-up.”
You look at Cyno incredulously. You did not plan on revisiting the infirmary today over your accidental ingestion of expired ice cream. You planned on going to the infirmary if the stomachache continued and if you continued to shit your guts out, and if you ended up puking in the toilet for a while.
You exclaim, “Again?! But I left the infirmary a few hours ago!” 
Childe and Zhongli raise their eyebrows at you, simultaneously propping their hands on their hips. Oh no. Looks like you forgot to inform them about your brief visit to the estate’s infirmary after returning to the abode.
You quickly add, “The visit to the infirmary was brief! I’m okay; I didn’t get injured! Tighnari told me that it was an ice-pick headache. Since I rarely get ice pick headaches, I don’t need to go through treatments or be monitored.” 
“You didn’t injure yourself, did you?” You hear Xiao ask.
You look at the door and see Xiao and Ayato standing at the entrance to your room, looking at you worriedly. You pursed your lips and shook your head. Ayato was there, so he could explain what happened to Xiao and the others (who weren’t at Luhua Pool). You’re not in the mood to re-explain the situation. 
“They’re fine. They need to get some rest, though,” you hear Diluc murmur from the hallways.
You furrow your eyebrows and flop back down on your bed. Why is the solution to many problems would be getting some rest? What if you’re feeling restless? Do you need to rest harder or something? 
You roll to your side and hug the closest thing to you. “What if I don’t want to get some rest? I assumed that sitting on the swinging bench in the backyard of the estate while eating ice cream counts as me getting rest,” you said.
“If you don’t want to get some rest, then what do you want to do?” Ayato asks, raising his eyebrows at you.
You hug the pillow to your chest tightly. “Well, I never got some alone time at Luhua Pool. Listen, I love all of you, I really do, but I never really got to clear my mind,” you murmur.
“Sometimes, it’s better to talk about it than sit in silence and clear your thoughts. I have an inkling feeling that whatever was occupying your thoughts earlier today is still in your mind,” Kaeya says, peeking from behind Xiao and Ayato.
You puffed your cheeks and exhaled through your nose. Kaeya is correct. Even if you claim that you were going to Luhua Pool to clear your mind, the thought of Zhongli and Guizhong continues to plague your thoughts. It’s driving you insane, and the pit in your stomach continues to grow with each passing minute. Venti throwing in the comment of how Lumine looks a tiny bit like Guizhong did something to you. You’re not upset with Lumine; you’re upset with yourself. You’re upset that you have this painful assumption that Zhongli is going to leave you for someone that reminded him of his deceased friend. It hurts, and you’re trying your best not to let your insecurities and jealousy create a rift between you and Lumine. 
After you had left for Luhua Pool, Lumine scolded Zhongli and Venti. She was close to hitting them with a pan, but Aether held her back. Instead, she gave them an earful. Specifically, Zhongli himself because she knows how much it has affected you and how you’re worried that he doesn’t care about you as much as he cares about someone that is long gone. 
You sit on your bed and begin running your fingers through your fuzzy blanket. “Can I write it down instead? I don’t think I’ll be able to talk about it without feeling frustrated with myself and bursting into tears,” you whisper, eyes trained on the blankets in front of you.
“As long as you tell us what’s wrong. We’re not mind readers, sweetheart,” Dainsleif says.
You didn’t question the number of people popping in and out of your bedroom. Instead, you kept quiet and let Dainsleif pull you into his arms, allowing you to bury your face into the crook of his neck. 
You whisper, “I hate feeling helpless. I’m trying my best not to let my feelings and insecurities get to me, but I can’t help it. It’s driving me insane, and I feel powerless against my thoughts.” You play with Dainsleif’s shirt, refusing to make eye contact with the men in the room. 
“It’s about the God of Dust and the God of Contracts relationship, isn’t it?” Scaramouche asks, breaking the silence in your room.
Dainsleif feels you tense in his arms, yet you don’t respond to Scaramouche’s question. While Scaramouche is correct, you wish he didn’t say that out loud in front of everyone. You would rather deal with this topic of conversation with Zhongli alone. This is between you and Zhongli, and everyone knows that.
“We’ll give you two some space,” Kazuha says slowly.
Kazuha and the other men start to trickle out of your bedroom one by one. Dainsleif unwraps his arms around you and presses a kiss on your cheek before getting up to leave your room. You nearly reach out to Dainsleif to prevent him from going, but seeing the look on Zhongli’s face makes you stop. 
Pierro nods to you before closing the door once everyone (except for Zhongli) has left your bedroom. You continue to stare at the door like a deer caught in headlights, too nervous to look at Zhongli. You can feel Zhongli’s gaze burning holes into your skull. You’re not sure who’s going to be the first one to break the silence between the two of you, but you know for sure that you won’t be the one to do that.
Zhongli walks over to where you’re sitting. The closer he got, the louder your heart was beating against your ears. You and Zhongli talked about this a few days ago. Yet, you can’t get it through your thick skull because of your jealousy and insecurity over his friendship with Guizhong. How many times does Zhongli have to reassure you so that you would not hold a grudge against someone deceased? At this point, you’re in need of therapy for all of the past traumas that led you to where you’re at right now. 
Zhongli sits beside you, keeping a small distance between the two of you. Zhongli doesn’t want to upset you any further by sitting close to you to the point where his thighs are brushing against yours. Your heart is thumping against your chest, and you feel nervous. If Zhongli is going to tell you that you have nothing to worry about, you don’t know what else to say. You love Zhongli as much as you love your twenty-four other boyfriends. You know they all love you, but sometimes you question if Zhongli cares about you at all. 
Zhongli breaks the silence between the two of you. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I don’t want you to hide your feelings and worries from me,” Zhongli murmurs.
You press your lips into a thin line, unsure of how else to respond to him. You fear if you tell him about your concerns, Zhongli will roll his eyes and brush it off. Just like how every person you come across in your world. Your concerns mean nothing to them, and they never will. 
You shrug your shoulders and laugh sarcastically. “It’s something we talked about a few days ago, Zhongli,” you reply. 
You look at the bandages that are wrapped around your body. The burns you have gotten from the scalding hot water that was poured all over you. Dottore, Tighnari, Albedo, and Baizhu have been gradually healing your burns. They’ll wrap your (healing) burns gauze after applying ointment on the burns. You’re healing, it almost looks like nothing is there, nor did you have a burn in the first place. 
Zhongli shakes his head. “You and I didn’t talk it out. We as a group did, but I want it to just be you and I discussing this,” Zhongli replies, crossing his arms over his chest and turning to you.
You get up from your bed and begin taking your bandages off. The scars are barely there, and thanks to Qiqi, you almost look like your usual self! Perhaps two or three days from now, you should be completely healed of your injuries. You toss the bandages into the trash can and rub at the ointment. 
“What do you want me to say, Zhongli? That my behavior a few days ago at Guizhong’s abandoned abode was childish and unnecessary?” You ask, throwing your hands in the air out of frustration. “Because if you are, you’re correct. It’s childish and unnecessary,” you rub your temples.
You walk to your desk and collapse on the chair, running your fingers through your hair. You don’t want to talk about it, but it was inevitable. You would rather talk to a therapist about this than Zhongli because having to talk about it is embarrassing. 
“I hate getting jealous over your friendship with Guizhong. Yes, I know you two are just friends, nothing more and nothing less, but I can’t help but let my insecurity get the best of me. I tried to ignore it, but I can’t, and it’s very frustrating,” you look at the ground, swallowing the forming lump in your throat.
Fuck. You’re starting to tear up. You let yourself stare off into space, blinking away the tears pooling in your eyes. You try to distract yourself from the negativity that’s plaguing your mind: Zhongli constantly thinking about the woman that was once in his life, Zhongli possibly leaving you for someone that looks like the deceased God of Dust, Zhongli not caring about you as much as he does for the woman that had perished long ago.
A stray tear made its way down your cheek. “I know I shouldn’t worry or question everyone’s feeling for me, but my insecurity and overthinking makes me question everything,” you chuckle bitterly. You wipe your tears with the back of your hand. 
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Zhongli says softly.
He gets up from your bed and makes his way toward you. You shake your head at Zhongli’s comment. What’s the point of stopping now when you have already started talking about it?
You gulp and attempt to hold back your tears, but the tears continue to roll down your cheeks.
“I never had anyone care about me as much as you care about Guizhong. Friend or not, you still care about her and keep her memories alive by talking about her and what she has done. I wish I have someone that cares about me as much as you care about her,” you rest your head on your knees, letting your tears stain your pants.
Your body shakes as you cry into your lap, refusing to sit straight when you sense Zhongli stopping in front of you. You dig your nails into your legs, trying to stifle your sobs, only for them to come out as sniffles and choked gasps. You feel Zhongli grab you by your biceps, carefully pulling you up and to his chest. You wanted to resist and pull away from his grasp, but you didn’t do it. You let Zhongli wrap his arms around your waist and wipe your tears away while you grip his shirt tightly.
“People never think about me in my world. I’m either their second choice, an afterthought, or they never think about me.” You rest your head against Zhongli’s chest, listening to his heart beating against his chest. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you care about Guizhong more than me. I would pick her over me if I can,” you mutter.
Zhongli grasps your chin and tilts your head, looking into your eyes. He’s glaring at you. Your bottom lip trembles as tears continue to slide down your cheeks. Archons, you most likely look like a mess in Zhongli’s eyes. 
“Guizhong is a close friend of mine. I hold her dear to my heart,” Zhongli says.
You feel your heart breaking after hearing Zhongli’s response. You try to look away from Zhongli, but he has a firm grasp on your chin. Zhongli shakes his head, sighing.
“But I don’t hold her close to my heart as much as I do with you,” Zhongli murmurs. “Yes, she is my friend, and I miss her, but I learned to accept that she’s no longer with us. You, on the other hand, are the present. You mean the world to me, and I would kill anyone and anything that harms you,” Zhongli says, cupping your face in his hands.
You sniffle and close your eyes, leaning your head on his chest. “That still doesn’t change that you care about her more than you care about me.”
Zhongli sighs and presses his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. “Stop saying that, [Y/N]. I care about you more than I care about Guizhong. You need to understand that, dearest,” Zhongli murmurs.
You close your eyes and whisper, “Then prove it. Prove to me that you care more about me than you care about Guizhong.”
You and Zhongli open your eyes and gaze at each other intently. Zhongli closes his eyes and presses his lips against yours. Your eyes shut, and you reluctantly kiss Zhongli back, feeling him hold your head in place. Zhongli backs you up toward your bed until the back of your knees hits the bedframe. You fall back and look at Zhongli, gulping when you see Zhongli start to tug and pull at his tie. If that’s not the most attractive thing you’ve seen today, then you don’t know what is. 
The first thing that came off was his coat, then his tie and button-up shirt soon accompanied his tailcoat that was discarded on the floor of your bedroom. Zhongli bites the tip of his glove and tugs it off while you stare at him with your mouth slightly ajar. Dammit! You’re supposed to be upset with Zhongli right now, not very horny for the ex-archon! Zhongli unbuckles his belt with one hand while pulling you to the edge of your bed by your ankles with his other hand. You feel yourself become flustered under his heated gaze.
Before you can say anything, Zhongli cages you between your bed and his body. Zhongli presses his lips against yours, his right hand sliding up your shirt before squeezing your breasts lightly. You tangle your fingers in Zhongli’s soft hair (he has really soft hair), your hand slowly snaking down to his ponytail and pulling on it. Zhongli groans into your mouth, pressing his erection against your core, causing you to jolt and whimper in his arms. 
Zhongli breaks the kiss before pressing his lips against your neck, licking, sucking, and lightly biting your neck. Zhongli kneels on your bed before sliding his other hand up your shirt, squeezing and fondling your breasts. You throw your head back, pressing your chest against Zhongli’s chest. The sound of your pants and small whimpers fill the quiet air between you and Zhongli. While you’re distracted by the feeling of Zhongli sucking on your neck and fondling your breasts, a loud rip echo in the room.
You lift your head to see Zhongli tossing away the fabric of your shirt over his shoulders, still occupied with leaving love bites all over your neck. You run your hands all over Zhongli’s torso, feeling his muscles ripple beneath your hands. This man is built like a god! Wait a minute. He is a god. How could that slip your mind? Zhongli pulls away from your neck and grabs onto your pants and panties, looping his fingers around the waistband before yanking both your pants and underwear down to your ankles.
“H-Hey! I can’t be the only one that’s naked!” You sputter, heat rushing to your cheeks as you try to cover your naked body from his eyes. 
Zhongli ignores your comment and continues to drop on his knees in front of your sopping-wet heat. Zhongli licks his lips at the sight, grabs your waist, and pulls you toward him. Zhongli latches his mouth on your entrance and begins swirling his tongue and lapping at your juices while gripping your thighs. If it weren’t for Zhongli holding your thighs, your thighs would’ve clamped over his head, trapping him between your legs.
Zhongli continues to devour you, letting his fingers ghost over the small ball of nerve. You twitch and grip Zhongli’s hair, whimpering and quivering in Zhongli’s hold. Zhongli pinches and twists the sensitive ball of nerve with his thumb and index finger, making you jolt and let out a choked gasp. Your toes curl, your back arches, and your tongue lolls out of your mouth when Zhongli penetrates his tongue into your entrance. 
“Zhongli~! Stop teasing me, and just fuck me already!” You whine, gently tugging at the roots of his hair.
Zhongli pulls away from your heat and chuckles, licking your juices off his lips before kissing the inside of your thighs. You take deep gulps of air, trying to catch your breath and process what had happened moments ago. Zhongli knows how to put his mouth to work. Literally, not just by talking about the history of Liyue and the Archon War. Zhongli stands up and unzips his pants, pulling his pants and boxers along with them.
You stare at Zhongli with wide eyes and mouth wide open. You point at Zhongli’s cock and shake your head. There is no way in hell he’s going to fit inside of you with one cock, let alone two huge cocks. Speaking of his two huge cocks, they’re both erect, red at the tips, pre-cum beading at the slit of his pretty cocks. You never thought you would consider calling dicks beautiful, yet here you are. You look away from the Liyuen man, face hot. You tap on your cheek and poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue.
“Zhongli, my love, I think you left out one key piece of information about yourself before we started dating,” you said casually. “I’m sure the men have one…. Dick…. But you, my dear, loving boyfriend… have two dicks,” you choke.
Zhongli strips what’s left of his clothes and climbs onto your bed, hovering above you. You didn’t look at Zhongli’s face, no. You’re staring at Zhongli’s two massive cocks that are pointed right in your direction, dripping with pre-cum and waiting to be inside of you. Oh, dear Archons, how in the world are you going to take two of his cocks?! Is he going to put both of them in one hole, or is he going to put one of his dicks in one of your holes and the other dick in your other hole? How is this going to work exactly? 
You’re pulled out of your thoughts when you feel Zhongli brush the tip of his nose against your jaws, his breath ghosting over your neck and jaws. 
“You’re not overthinking again, are you?” Zhongli murmurs, brushing his thumb against your jaws. 
You close your eyes and hold your breath, unsure of how to respond to Zhongli. First of all, yes, you’re overthinking, but not about Guizhong or Lumine looking a tiny bit like the God of Dust. Second of all, how can Zhongli act so casually when he did a meat reveal of a fucking lifetime? 
You gulp and laugh breathlessly. “I don’t think you’ll fit,” you mutter, peeking down at Zhongli’s angry red cocks. 
“Human bodies are capable of carrying babies and pushing an infant out from the uterus and birth canal,” Zhongli says casually.
You look at Zhongli, who looks back at you. While Zhongli is not wrong about that, birthing is pushing something out. This one, however, is Zhongli pushing two of his cocks inside of one (or two) holes.
“Do you not want me to….” you trail off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.
Zhongli cocks an eyebrow at you. “Do you want to try to suck on my cocks?” Zhongli asks, the corner of his lips curving up. 
You gape at Zhongli like a fish out of water. “I-I can try!” You squeak, eyes darting down to his two cocks. Dear archons, they look intimidating. “I can’t promise you I’ll do a good job at it, especially when there are two,” you clear your throat. 
Zhongli leans back against the headboard of your bed. You crawl toward Zhongli and kneel between his spread legs. Zhongli’s cocks are erect, throbbing for attention. You reach forward and grab onto the cock above the other, causing Zhongli to hiss softly. You quickly pull your hands back, looking at him with wide eyes.
“Did I hurt you?!” You ask.
Zhongli shakes his head, gritting his teeth. “No, dearest, you didn’t hurt me,” Zhongli grunts.
You take a deep breath and grab both of his cocks with your hands and begin stroking them. Zhongli’s eyes roll to the back of his head while he emits a deep groan from his chest. You stare at both of his cocks intently, debating which cocks you’re going to be sucking on and which one you’ll be pumping with your hands— the one on top or the one below that?
You lean down and take Zhongli’s cock into your mouth while pumping his second cock with your hand. Your tongue laps over the bulbous tip of his cock, coating the top cock in your saliva while gently squeezing and pumping the cock below it. Other than the sound of you slobbering all over Zhongli’s cocks (and occasionally switching between the two), the sound of Zhongli’s labored breaths and his quiet grunts is all you can hear. 
Zhongli pulls your hair into a ponytail, pushing your head down further until the tip of your nose is pressing up against his pubes. You squeeze your eyes shut, whimpering when the tip of Zhongli’s cock touches the back of your throat, almost making you gag. Zhongli lets out the loudest groan when he feels the walls of your throat tightening around his cock. Zhongli can feel his impending orgasm. Zhongli pulls you off his cock before he can reach his orgasm, panting.
You wipe your lips and the forming tears in the corner of your eyes. Zhongli reaches forward and pulls you toward his chest before flipping you over onto your back. You squeeze your eyes shut to process how your world suddenly turned upside down. Zhongli grabs your chin, tilts your head up, and you slowly open your eyes. Zhongli’s amber eyes are glowing; he gazes at you with lust, love, and desire. 
“Are you ready?” Zhongli murmurs, leaning his head toward your neck and planting gentle kisses. 
You nod, wrapping your arms around Zhongli’s neck. “Please be gentle with me, Zhongli,” you whisper.
Zhongli presses one last kiss on your neck before spreading your legs apart. Zhongli starts rubbing both his cocks between your legs, the tip of his dick brushing against your throbbing bundle of nerves. You dig your nails into Zhongli’s back when you feel the tips of his cocks penetrating your entrance. 
Zhongli slowly sinks into your wet cavern, clenching his jaws when your walls wrap tightly around his cock. You shut your eyes and bite down on your lips, trying to hold in your whimper. The feeling of being stretched out by both of Zhongli’s cock is painful. Zhongli clutches onto the back of your neck with his right hand and wraps his left arm around your waist before pressing his hips against yours.
Your mouth opens in a silent scream, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, a strained groan and whimper coming from you. You wrap your legs around Zhongli’s waist, clawing his back and leaving angry red marks in its wake.
“Z-Zhongli! Be gentle!” You whine, digging your heels into his ass cheeks.
Zhongli stays still, both of his cocks twitching inside of you. Zhongli massages your scalp, pressing kisses all over your neck and face while you’re trying to adjust to having both of his cocks inside of you. Your chest is heaving, your eyebrows are furrowing, and occasional whimpers can be heard coming from you.
Zhongli feels you shake your head.
“I don’t think I can take it, Zhongli,” you whisper, unintentionally tensing your legs.
Zhongli shushes you, pressing a kiss on the side of your head. “You’ll be okay. Just relax and don’t tense up. If you tense up, it’ll only make it painful for yourself,” Zhongli murmurs. 
Zhongli shifts, stretching your hole wider. You whimper and tighten your legs around his waist to stop him from moving and stretching you when you haven’t adjusted to his size yet.
“Ow, ow! Zhongli!” You hissed.
Zhongli mutters an apology, pressing his lips on the crown of your head. Both you and Zhongli stay still for a few minutes, letting you adjust to having both of his cocks inside you. You gradually let your legs relax around Zhongli’s waist, feeling yourself getting used to the size and feel of his dicks inside you. Zhongli slowly moves his waist against yours, rubbing his pubic bone against your sensitive ball of nerves. You grunt and squeeze your thighs around Zhongli’s hips, thighs quivering.
You gently squeeze his biceps. “You can move now,” you whisper.
Zhongli props himself on his biceps, caging you between his arms and your bed. Zhongli slowly pulls out from your entrance. You whimper, your hole tightening when Zhongli pulls his cock out from your heat. Zhongli pauses, leaving only the mushroom tip of his cocks inside of you. Zhongli looks at where the two of you are connected, then looks at you. You nod, signaling him to start. Zhongli slides his cocks back into you, emitting a loud, choked gasp from you. You clutch onto his bicep with one hand and your bedsheets with your other hand. Zhongli begins with a steady pace, his cocks hitting the deepest part inside of you. 
You pull Zhongli down, making him lie on top of you. You and Zhongli trade kisses, teeth clashing against each other. Zhongli breaks the kiss and forces your mouth open before spitting into your mouth. You stare at Zhongli with wide eyes, mouth ajar. You close your mouth and swallow, earning a smirk from the man above you.
Zhongli grabs your hair and proceeds to press his lips against yours while plunging his cock in and out of your sopping entrance. The sound of skin slapping, Zhongli’s grunts, your breathless whines, and your bedframe hitting against the wall is all you can hear. You roll your hips against Zhongli’s hips while he is mid-thrust, allowing the tip of his cocks to hit your cervix.
“Fuck!” You whine, your back arching and your entrance fluttering around his cocks.
You continue to roll your hips against Zhongli’s hips while he hammers his dicks in and out of your wet heat. Zhongli reaches for your right leg and throws them over his shoulder. The new position lets Zhongli’s cocks kiss your cervix. Zhongli slams his hips against yours, and you writhe beneath Zhongli, no longer able to contain your whimpers, whines, and gasps.
The more Zhongli continues to thrust his members in and out of your entrance, the closer you get to your orgasm. A tight coil begins to form in your lower abdomen, making you tighten around his cocks. Panicking, you tap on Zhongli’s shoulders.
“Zhongli, Zhongli. I’m about to cum,” You whine, rubbing your groin against Zhongli’s pubic bone.
Zhongli quickens his pace when he hears you telling him how close you are to cumming. Zhongli’s orgasm is near; he can feel it. Zhongli presses his nose against where your neck and shoulders meet, breathing in your scent. Zhongli purrs and latches his mouth to that area, biting down hard. You cry out in pain and pleasure, the velvety walls of your entrance clamping down on Zhongli’s cock. Your vision goes white, your ears ring, and you become limp in Zhongli’s arms.
Zhongli’s cum shoots deep inside your hole, filling you to the brim. Zhongli slowly removes his teeth from where your neck and shoulder meet, lapping his tongue at the blood that oozes from the bite mark. Zhongli collapses beside you. Zhongli wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you to his chest without pulling his cocks out from your hole, plugging his and your cum with his cock.
You mumble incoherently, rubbing your eyes sleepily when you come to your senses. Zhongli props himself up with his right arm and gazes at you worriedly, caressing your face. You blink up at Zhongli sleepily and smile at him shyly, your face heating up with embarrassment. You lost consciousness for a few seconds when you had an earth-shattering orgasm. 
“Are you okay, dearest?” Zhongli murmurs, stroking your cheek.
You nod and snuggle against him, shuddering when you feel his cocks inside you. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sleepy, though,” you reply.
Zhongli kisses your temples, reaching for your blanket and throwing it over your and his body. “You should get some rest. I think I pushed you past your limit,” Zhongli says. 
You close your eyes, getting ready to fall asleep in his arms while he lies beside you. Zhongli’s chest is pressing up against your bare back. Zhongli is gently rubbing your hipbone while your head is resting on his biceps, slowly dozing off. Before you can fall asleep, someone pounds on your closed bedroom door, startling both you and Zhongli.
“Hey! We left the room to give you two some privacy to talk it out! Not fuck each other’s brains out!” Childe screams from the other side of the door.
You and Zhongli hear Itto groan. “Why does Zhongli always get the first dibs?!” Itto groused. 
You snort and continue to snuggle against Zhongli. Zhongli kisses the back of your head and continues to rub your hipbones. You adjust your position and wince when you feel your and Zhongli’s mixed cum oozing from your entrance and spilling onto the bedsheets.
“Looks like I’ll be cleaning the bedsheets after my nap,” you mumble, reaching for Zhongli’s hands and lacing your fingers with his, and closing your eyes.
Zhongli chuckles and pulls you up against his chest, his hands slowly snaking up to your breasts, squeezing them gently. You crack your eyes open and look at Zhongli from the corner of your eyes.
“You’re not hoping for a round two now, are you?” You ask.
Zhongli doesn’t respond. Instead, he keeps his eyes closed before lightly thrusting his hips against yours. You groan when you feel the tip of his cocks nudging your cervix. Looks like you won’t be getting that nap you were hoping for. 
Note: And here is the first smut of 2023! Not the best, but you know what, it's good to attempt it again after almost two months. There is this one request that I got that can be turned into another smut series like Crave, only it's different... kind of. I might get started on that soon, but since it's a request that involves all of the Genshin men, it will most likely turn into a smut series like Crave. Taglists are officially closed! I might make an updated version of the taglist sometime in the future, but I'm not entirely sure when exactly. I'm not checking Tumblr as often, but I will try to check it more once I (hopefully) open up my ask box. Another thing I want to add is that I'm not accepting requests at the moment. I'll let you all know when I am, but right now, requests are closed. Anyway, to my new or returning readers, I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!
Taglist for my Isekai'd!Reader one-shot series and my overall taglist: @xyji, @chirikoheina, @yoru-trash, @kwelibeeery, @deartoru, @luminarymoonlight, @toobytub, @ins4nebish, @bokuto-kinnie, @honeybedo, @exhaustedcommunist, @jadedist, @mompt2, @chalksdreams, @thelost-in-time, @ventisweetheart, @hispasian-otaku, @juuuuuj101010, @alteeeeyang, @samarill, @testsubject0012, @irisxiel, @emilymikado, @mabie, @vinnie-w, @n8mareee, @bajifairyy, @heyimkay, @milkpeanuts476, @eliciana, @blesstosuisen, @goldeneclipsedragon, @jjvr4yxc, @sovermike-21-blog, @vox34, @wynncrites, @skyyyyackerman, @undecidingfate, @nightlysunn, @faeryminnyx, @simpcreator, @lucifarts-boxers, @urlocalheizousimp, @sunlightstarr (Accounts that I was unable to tag have been removed. Those who don't want to be tagged in certain stories are not tagged in this particular post. Remember to check your settings if you're allowing people to mention you/tag you in posts or not)
Read more of my works on my Masterlist | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! I might post all of my stories on there too, but who knows. You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^
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zoe-is-amazingg · 10 months
Text
You're just not my type Prt 3
Jock!Ethan Landry X Guitarist!F!Reader
W/C - 1.5 K
Summary - Ethan definitely has an idea about what you think about him
Warnings - just making out.
A/N - I'm so happy i'm trying to finish this rn. im also done wit the flashbacks sooo
Last part * Next part *
Request rules * Taglist request *
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You slowly walk into school, your headphones over your ears, it's been a week since you've last seen Bryce and you're living for it. You practically wanted nothing to do with him and recently, someone else was definitely trying to get in with you.
Ethan, that is.
He has been interacting with you all week, talking to you, flirting with you, he even has been asking you about your guitar. You weren't used to all this male attention surrounding you. Ethan's friends were slowly talking to you, finding you interesting and asking things about you too.
But out of all of them, Ethan is the one that you seem to like the most. He seems caring and kind and nice. He was cute as hell, but you really didn't want this to be another Bryce situation where he ends up being a dick to you in five days.
You're walking and just minding your own business when someone pulls off your headphones and you turn around. Of course, it was Ethan.
"Ethan give them back!" You huff as he puts them on his head. You really wanted to go to art early. He nods his head and hums to the tune of the song just a little bit before he takes them off and puts them around your neck.
"Is that...Your own music?" He asks you, looking deeper into your eyes than anyone else ever has before. He had this strong cologne on and on top of how his hair looked it the sun, it was intoxicating to you. You wanted to rip the varsity jacket off and kiss him.
"Uh, yes, actually. It's just something I've been working on for the moment, nothing too special." You state and He nods. He smirks at you and then steps back.
"That's really good," He states, and you blush, what the hell was happening to you. In a minute you'll start giggling like a fucking schoolgirl. "Can I meet you in the music room after this class. I really want to hear you play in person." You shake your head, and he sighs. You look into his eyes for a moment and groan. "Fuck it, sure, I'll see you there."
You slowly walk away and sigh as you put your headphones over your ears. You arrive at art, being a bit over 5 minutes late, you were never late and by the way everyone was looking at you, you could tell their thinking the same. You take your headphones off and take your seat at the back.
"Gentlemen and Gentlewoman, I really want this next piece for your portfolio to really tell me about your emotions." The teacher says. You weren't one for emotions really, but maybe these new feelings for your browned haired friend could bring out some good work. "I want this to reflect what the past month has been like in about three to five paintings, show me your emotions and the journey that your emotions go through."
"What the hell." You mumble. This month for you has been terrible, except for the past week. Your friend, Casey, looks at you. He was a great artist and an even better friend; he calls you constantly.
"I know you're not good with your emotions, but you should really use your feelings for Ethan. Their only blossoming into new for you, Bryce was a shit dude. Ethan seems like he's good for you. You seem happier." That was deep as hell. What the fuck.
You will admit to yourself that you do seem happier ever since Ethan's come into your life. So maybe that party was worth it. "I don't know, he asked me to meet him after this class to get him to watch me play. I don't know if I should go." You mumble.
"Y/N. I swear to god. If you don't go, you'll wish you did because I'll legit kill you." Casey says and you groan. "Fuck you, fuck it. I'll go!" You groan.
"Yessss! Please do! He loves you! It's so obvious." Casey rolls his eyes. You roll your eyes and get up and walk away. You put on your apron and grab 3 paint brushes, a cup of water and some light blue, pastel purple and pink and yellow. That's what you felt like doing at the time anyway
You go back to your desk and sit down. You place all the objects onto the table and slump back down into your seat. You turn around with your chair and grab a canvas and paint palette.
You turn back around to your desk and place the canvas and palette down. You squeeze a little bit of each color onto the palette and wet the smallest paint brush you grabbed. You dip it into the pink paint, someone in the corner of the classroom catches your eye. You slowly take off your headphones and put them into your bag.
"I'm here for Y/N." Ethan says. Your jaw drops. What the fuck is he doing? You don't come to his basketball practice. You were painting, you're not packing up because you just started. "Why does Y/N need to come with you?"
"Something important has come up and I really need her to come with me Mrs Warner." Ethan says. He looks at you and you shake your head. "Sure, go ahead, take Y/N. I'm not fighting with 21-year-old about a girl leaving class early."
"I'll pack up your stuff." Casey smirks at you. You grab your bag and leave with him. You both walk in silence for a moment, you're finding the right words because in your head, everything you wanted to say was mixed together.
"Where are we going?" You ask. He shakes his head at you and chuckles. Fuck. He is not taking you to the studio. "By the way your face expressions are, I think you just realized." He chuckles at you. You didn't want to play for him, you were planning on not showing up. But what's the worst that can happen?
You walk with him for a moment and then you both arrive at the studio. You really weren't keen on playing for him. He opens the door and there's your guitar, in all its beauty. "Y/N. Look, if you don't want to play for me, that's fine, I don't want you to feel like you have to." He says to you, clearly it was obvious that you were nervous to play infront of him.
"No, I want too. I just haven't really played my own music in front of someone before." You mutter, you both go inside the studio, and he closes the door. You pick up the electric guitar and set it up so it can make noise from the speakers. Ethan looks at you and slowly pulls the guitar out of your hands and lightly rests it on the wall.
He grabs your hands and looks at you directly into your eyes. He slowly rubs circles into the back of your hands. He drops onto his knees, and you can't even believe this is happening to you. "Are you okay?" He asks.
"Fine, fine. Don't worry about me." You whimper. He nods, clearly not convinced with your answer. He hands you back the guitar and you turn the volume up on it lightly. "Just pretend I'm not here."
You close your eyes. Fuck why is the this so damn scary. You start playing a little bit to see if it's tuned. It is and now you can't waste any more time. You slowly start with a hammer on and start playing. You play for about two minutes before you stop. Ethan's jaw is wide open and shocked.
"That's really fucking good." He mutters. You didn't know what to say. He did not just say your good. It felt like a praise. It was a praise. God, you wanted him so bad. You hand him the guitar. "Sit down, I'll give you a lesson." You say and his eyes light up. "Really?"
"Yes, now sit down before I change my mind." You sigh. He nods and sits down. The guitar is placed on his lap, and he picks it up the way you did before. He puts the strap over his shoulders. "What next ma'am?" He asks jokingly. You walk over and stand over him. You grab his hands and use your hands lead where his are going.
You let him play a little riff and then stop. He looks up at you and says "Fuck it, I cant pretend anymore." He mutters and you tilt your head.
What is he on about? Your thoughts are cut short when his lips connect with yours. Your lips move and fit perfectly together. He slides the guitar off him and places it onto the floor. You slowly move your body so you're standing basically on top of him. You slowly get pulled onto his lap and you hook your hands around his neck.
Someone opens the door, and you break the kiss to look at the person. It's the one person you did not want to talk too.
Bryce.
Taglist - @idky5
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velnna · 1 month
Note
Since you probably use more social media than most people, I was curious on what you think of the ones u use, especially now that blue sky is open to the public
Eh, I'm not super well versed on them these days because I mostly use them to respond to notifications, post and disappear, plus I have notifications filtered everywhere so I don't keep track of engagement. ESPECIALLY with bluesky, I've never even opened the general timeline there 😅
Twitter is still my favourite social media and the one I use more seamlessly. I think I see value in it because it's not primarily meant for visual posts and there's people from a bunch of different fields and industries engaging with whatever all at once, plus the line between commenting on a post and making a post yourself is blurred which gives for some funny interactions. It used to intimidate me but now I'm just chilling.
Bluesky I guess is supposed to be the same thing? But I can't bring myself to engage with it idk. Back when it started I could see that the most active people there were the ones actively hating twitter, while.. doing the exact same things on bluesky they did on twitter 🤷‍♂️ so I think Elon Musk aside it's basically the same thing with less users.
I used to be big on instagram but basically stopped using it when they introduced reels, now I just post and disappear. I hate that they couldn't just leave it simple and uncluttered and the fact that reels became so popular pissed me off lmao.
Tiktok is a tricky one for me because I go "viral" easily there and it's my biggest platform BUT it's very addicting and you sorta have to scroll through the main page to find content to make + a lot of the time you need to make content specifically for it. Which is a time sink for me in a lot of ways :') I tend to open it every other month to maybe post something then ghost again
Tumblr is... fine? Idk tumblr definitely feels like both the most useless and the easiest social media to use. Useless in the sense that I never expect anything that happens on tumblr to materialise into anything outside of it. Easiest in the sense that it's just chill for me to post and engage with what people send me without needing to think about it too hard. Trying to get original content to take off here was in vain but fanart does particularly well as expected.. which means it only started being fun for me when I got into BG3 as I'd never been in a fandom before lmao. I like that, just like twitter, it's not only for visual posts, but get overwhelmed at the idea of blogs and formatting and sorting posts, so I only use it barebones and tend to not engage with the main page/timeline either
Engagement-wise, I honestly couldn't tell ya. I think that comes down to you paying attention to each social media's trends and how people interact with it. Personally I'm (very luckily) at a stage where 99% of the time I don't care about whether a post makes numbers or flops, and my platforms are big enough that if I REALLY needed something to do well I could probably find a way to make it loud enough so yknow
Hope this answers your question :'D
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