#I do admit I love Daddy Vic very much

[thedummysdummy]

Can I have a cup of latte with some sweet cream and yes hcs of our CEO dealing with a pregnant wifey 🤧🤌🏻 Pregnancy reveal to labor that will be a thank you.

Firstborn

In his Victor way, he immediately sensed her presence and looked up from his work. Seeing the grin on her face, he immediately knew something was up. “What has gotten a dummy so riled up?” he asked, pausing as he glanced farther down and spotted the pregnancy test in her hand. He jumped up from the couch and hurried to her side, his large hand reaching for hers to grab the test. She relinquished it with no struggle and Victor stared at the little window. A laugh started deep in his chest and made its way to the surface, emerging as he wrapped his arms around his wife. 

“See? All that worry for nothing! I told you that we just had to be patient! We have to celebrate. What would you like for dinner? I’ll make you anything you want. And I’ll call up the doctor to make an appointment. This time everything will go smoothly.” Victor scooped the girl up into his arms and buried his face in her hair. 

She squirmed a little and squeaked indignantly, but Victor only laughed louder and carried her out of the office and into the living room. “I can walk, you know,” she insisted, his joy soaking into her soul and making her laugh as well. “But really all I want for dinner is a nice butternut bisque. I’m a little too nauseous for much more than that…” 

Victor immediately set her down at the dining room table and went to the cupboard where he kept the tea and coffee. Soon the scents of ginger and peppermint filled the air and a steaming cup of tea appeared in front of the girl. “Drink this first while I make dinner, then. But give it a few minutes to properly steep before you greedily gulp it down.” 

“It’s too hot to gulp anyway,” the girl protested, but Victor merely shook his head and began his preparations. She watched his strong and slender form as he cut, cleaned, and drizzled olive oil over the resulting chunks of squash. The edges of her lips twitched in a pleased manner and her heart felt almost too big for her chest. 

In this moment, she was the luckiest girl alive. She picked up the teacup and inhaled the fragrant steam before blowing a soft breath over the surface of the liquid. As long as she had the love of that man, she had the entire world in her palm. 

His baby wasn’t a bad addition, either. 

The cup of tea was gone long before the squash had finished steaming, but the girl was content to sit at the table and just watch Victor work. He often glanced over at her and his dark eyes glittered every time he caught her staring. She enjoyed watching his skillful hands transform the hard vegetable into a smooth and creamy soup which soon he ladled into a bowl and placed in front of her. It was followed by a thick slice of toasted sourdough and another cup of tea. 

Only once she was served did Victor dish up his own meal and join her at the table. “Are you feeling any better?” he asked, dipping his spoon into the silky soup and blowing gently to cool it. The girl nodded and tore off a bit of the bread to dip into her soup. It was delicious, as was to be expected, and she didn’t even need to ask the ‘secret ingredient,’ because she already knew exactly what it was. 

Joy.

~~~

Two months passed by as a moment and a lifetime simultaneously. The girl lost count of how many times she’d had to run out of a filming shoot, returning to the concerned looks of her coworkers. 

Finally, Kiki pulled her aside. “Boss, we’ve all noticed that you’ve been ill a lot lately. Is everything okay?” She looked into the girl’s face with concerned eyes, seeming to seek the answer in her boss’s expression. The girl fought with herself for a long moment. Was it too early to make an announcement? She knew it would be another month before she was out of the most dangerous portion of the pregnancy, but if her coworkers were already getting worried…she knew she wouldn’t last another month without telling them. 

“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just…don’t spread this around, okay? But I’m pregnant.” 

A look of wild excitement filled Kiki’s face. “Oh my goodness! Congratulations, boss! How far along are you?! Has anyone planned a baby shower yet? Are you having a boy or a girl? How does Victor feel about it? This is so exciting!” 

The girl slapped a hand over Kiki’s mouth, but that did little to quell the other woman’s excitement. “I’m only eight weeks along, but Victor and I are both very happy. We won’t know if we’re having a boy or a girl for quite a while.” She giggled and her other hand went instinctively to her stomach. “It definitely is exciting. But!! You have to swear not to go announcing it to the entire world, okay? I’ll tell the others after the shoot today, then you all can gossip to your hearts’ content with each other.” She shot Kiki a serious look, and Kiki straightened into a salute. 

“You’ve got it, Boss! I won’t tell a soul!” 

It was a promise which lasted approximately twenty minutes before the news was nearly enough to make Kiki explode. “But you have to act surprised when the boss tells everyone after the shoot, okay?” she whispered after spilling the beans to Willow. 

“Oh, obviously,” Willow insisted. “And we’re also obviously going to plan a surprise party.” Kiki agreed wholeheartedly and the pair went back to the shoot. The day seemed to drag by even slower than usual as the secret burned a hole in their mental pockets. They did their best to look innocent every time the girl was nearby, but the moment she turned her back, the pair could barely contain their excitement. 

By the time the shoot wrapped up, everyone was completely exhausted except Kiki and Willow. They were still hyped up on the high of their secret and practically vibrated with excitement when their little crew was called together. 

The girl looked at each one of her friends and smiled. “I have a bit of an announcement. I was going to wait a little longer, but I have no doubt the cat would get out of the bag sooner rather than later. So here it is: Victor and I are expecting our first child.” 

Cheers of congratulations filled and echoed around the mostly-empty set, making it feel as if the girl were surrounded by an army of well-wishers. 

~~~

“But the casual white shirts go on the blue hangers, and the formal ones go on the black ones!”

The girl began pulling all of the clothes that Victor had hung up off their hangers and tossed them on the bed, her arms moving in far more exaggerated circles than was entirely necessary. Victor watched with exasperation, his arms crossed over his chest and his brows furrowed. “Why does it matter? Besides, they are my shirts. Shouldn’t it be my opinion that counts when it comes to putting them away?” 

He may as well have declared the instigation of World War 3. The girl looked at Victor incredulously and threw the hanger she was holding to the ground. “Fine! If you’re so opinionated about it, I’ll just let you put them away yourself! And the closet can be a mess.” 

“I already put them away myself once, and you pulled them all back out. That seems like you caused the problem, not me.” Victor’s exasperated tone only earned him a look that could kill a nation before his wife stomped out of the room and disappeared into the darkness of the rest of the house. 

Victor took a moment to breathe. Why was everything a fight lately?! Good grief, it was the color of hanger for crying out loud. He’d thought putting away the laundry would make her happy, not cause yet another argument. He glanced over the pile of shirts on the bed and wondered where exactly he’d gone wrong. 

A cloud settled over his heart as he picked up the shirts and ensured they were on the ‘proper’ hangers before putting them back in the closet. Every now and then he glanced at the bedroom door, half expecting to find her standing there watching. However, she never appeared. It didn’t take too long to fix the shirts and make the bed for good measure; only after that did he dare go seeking his wife. 

Perhaps ‘seeking’ was the incorrect word. Victor was pretty sure he knew exactly where he’d find her. He easily crossed the dark house and opened the nursery door, standing in the doorway. Moonlight filtered across the carpeted floor and landed on the chair on the opposite side of the room, highlighting the small amount of dust which drifted back and forth as sand in the ocean. 

Sure enough, the girl was curled up in the rocking chair, clutching a shiba plush. Even in the moonlight he could see the glisten of tears on her cheeks and he sighed. “Dummy,” he whispered, crossing the room in three long strides. She looked away, hiding her face behind the golden fur of the shiba. But Victor pushed it gently away and lifted her chin. He wiped away one of the tears with his thumb and kissed her forehead. “I love you, my little dummy.” 

While the words were simple, they seemed to be the magic words which unlocked the door. A torrent of tears ran down the girl’s cheeks and she flung herself into Victor’s arms. “I didn’t mean to yell at you,” she sobbed, burying her face in his shoulder. “I don’t know why I’m like this! It’s like I can’t even control myself and I hate it!” 

Victor ran his fingers tenderly through her hair and held her close. “It’s just the pregnancy. You’ll feel better soon. Only six weeks left, hm? I’m not going anywhere, no matter how moody you get. So stop beating yourself up and come to bed.” He slid one arm under the girl’s legs and scooped her up. “You need your rest if our little one is going to be healthy.” 

~~~

It was dark when the girl waddled into the office. She groaned a little and shifted on her feet, trying to find a position that didn’t hurt. Unfortunately, there was no such thing at this point in the pregnancy. Her hand went for the lightswitch and she wondered idly how she was the first one there for the meeting. Anna had seemed quite insistent that it was incredibly important, and even Victor had seemed keen to get her here on time. 

The lights caused her to go momentarily blind and she squinted as they adjusted. A jubilant shout of ‘SURPRISE!’ caused her to jump, but once she was able to open her eyes again, she was met with a room full of pink and blue balloons and streamers. Everyone she loved sat in chairs around the room with bright grins. Cupcakes decorated with pastel frosting and baby bottle sprinkles made up a large centerpiece, surrounded by various other snacks, while another table was absolutely loaded with brightly wrapped gifts. 

A hand softly on her back propelled the surprised mother-to-be into the room; it was connected to a smirking Victor. “Come on, get in there. Your friends didn’t organize this just for you to stand in the doorway with your mouth hanging open.” 

She broke out of her stupor and joined her loved ones for an evening of ridiculous games, eating, and opening of gifts. The sheer amount of love she felt from everyone in the room was a warm blanket which encircled her heart with tender softness. Each hug, each gift, and each kind word helped erase just a little bit more of the pain and discomfort of being eight and a half months pregnant. 

And when Victor noticed that she was beginning to tire, he took her hand in his big, warm palm and addressed the room. “Thank you, everyone, for the party and the gifts. We very much appreciate it, but my wife is going to fall asleep in her chair if I don’t get her home soon.” She gave his hand a squeeze and with those they loved trailing behind them with arms full of gifts to load into the car, the happy pair returned home with far more than just a new mountain of belongings. 

~~~

Of course it would be the middle of the night. The girl got up for what felt like the fifteenth time that night to use the bathroom, only to feel warmth running down her leg. “Too slow…” she muttered as she waddled into the other room. 

However, it soon became apparent that this wasn’t a middle-of-the-night bladder leak. An intense pain gripped the girl’s stomach and she curled up on herself, letting out a strangled squeak of pain and surprise. It wasn’t incredibly loud, but loud enough to cause Victor to rocket up from the bed. His sleep had been poor for the last week already, just in case this exact thing happened. 

“Is it time?!” he exclaimed, looking quite silly with his dark hair tousled upwards and his boxers slightly twisted. All it took was a single nod for him to spring into action, tossing on the clothes he’d specifically kept on the chair next to the bed for easy access and grabbing the hospital bag they’d lovingly packed together. 

Minutes later the girl was dressed as well and Victor helped her into the car. His hands trembled as he buckled her belt, though out of fear or excitement was up for debate. Probably both. He hustled around the front of the car and into his seat, turned the key, and soon the pair were speeding down the road toward the hospital. 

Each time a new contraction hit, the girl fumbled for Victor’s hand. “I’m right here. Just breathe,” he soothed, running his thumb over the back of her hand. “We’ll be there soon. I’m right here.” As Victor was wont to do in situations involving his wife, he drove with a reckless abandon in regards to the speed limit. They soon walked into labor and delivery, where the girl was whisked away while Victor paced the waiting room. 

Luckily for everyone in the hospital, Victor was only made to wait until his wife was dressed and put in her delivery bed before he was allowed to go back with her. “It will probably still be a little while, Mr. Li. The contractions are still ten minutes or so apart, and she’s only at an eight. We’ll check in often, but why don’t you try to get a little rest while you can? When the contractions are two minutes apart or less, we’ll get the doctor in here.” 

Victor nodded, though he knew there would be absolutely no rest for him tonight. Not until those sweet cries filled his ears, and that sweet bundle filled his arms. He sat at his wife’s bedside and held her hand as she did her best to remain calm through round after round of contractions. “I’m positive we’re having a boy,” she murmured. “I regretted deciding to wait to find out for sure, but now that it’s time…I think it’s even more exciting this way.” 

“I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as we get a healthy baby.” Victor placed his hand on his wife’s belly and was rewarded with a solid kick. “They’ve definitely got your attitude…” 

The hours passed by painfully slowly. Painfully being the key word. By morning, the girl was convinced this labor thing was never going to end. That was, until she was hit with contractions five minutes apart. Then two minutes apart. Victor pressed the call button repeatedly and the nurses soon arrived, the room filling with motion and excitement. The epidural went in and warm, blissful numbness took the place of the hot pain which had been filling her existence. 

The doctor arrived and, after a brief examination, smiled. “Alright, love. It’s time to push, okay? Three breaths and push for me on three. One, two, push. One, two, push.” 

Time felt like it stood still as Victor watched his sweet wife’s face flush, and her hand crushed his with each straining push. The doctor kept checking repeatedly, his voice encouraging. “You’re doing great, mama. I see a head! Keep pushing for me. Not too much longer now.” 

And he was right. Two pushes later, the shrill sound of a baby’s first cry pierced the air. The nurses rushed forward with a towel and a clamp for the cord, while the doctor checked over the new life for signs of health. “Well, Mr. and Mrs. Li, it seems you have an absolutely perfect little boy.” 

Victor wasn’t even embarrassed about the tears that ran down his cheeks as the doctor wrapped the still-mucky little boy in a towel and handed him to his father. He was a chunky little man…and the most beautiful thing Victor had ever seen.

#everyone wants pregnant mc apparently #I do admit I love Daddy Vic very much #ask #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #love and producer li zeyan #mlqc #evol x love #love and producer victor #love and producer #mr love queen's choice #mlqc fanfic #mlqc victor fanfic #asks open

[killingitreservoirdogsstyle]

Hi!! Thank u so much for following me back, you’re the coolest❤️ I was wondering if you could write headcanons for being Joe Cabot’s daughter and Eddie’s younger sister dating Vic. Thank you so much in advance!!!💞

Hello @scarletcountesss! You're welcome for the follow, thank you for requesting and keeping up with my chaotic bin on fire of a blog here! I can totally do these headcanons, this is such a great idea! Sorry it took so long, I hope it wasn't an inconvenience to you. Colds suck, oh my god. But I'm totally living for this idea, so I'm gonna get right into it! Thanks again for requesting and being so patient with me! You rock!

FANDOM: Reservoir Dogs 

GENRE: Requested Headcanons, romantic relationship, light smut, and AU!

SYNOPSIS: You’re the youngest of the Cabot family dating Vic Vega/Mr. Blonde and it is certainly interesting!

TRIGGER WARNINGS: AFAB! reader, innuendo in one headcanon, and romantic relationship!

So right off the bat, your dad and brother are extremely protective of you in every single way possible and in every area of your life. You literally cannot do much for yourself without them fussing so much over the supposed ‘risks’ involved. This had led you to be irate with them, but you know that the intention is good. 

It would be different if you were a boy, but because you’re female, it’s a whole other ballgame. Joe recognizes this more so than even Eddie. He raised you gently but firmly, doting on you constantly. And he teaches your brother manners towards you, that you are a young lady and thus must be treated with high regard. Some of the worst trouble Eddie’s ever gotten into was because he was short, abrasive, or cruel to you. Joe cuts no corners, nobody’s about to hurt his baby girl. 

Say what you want about the Cabot men, but they do know how to properly handle a girl. 

It became more difficult when you grew up, especially in the teenage years when boys began to show you romantic affection. Joe wasn’t against you having a boyfriend, or a girlfriend for that matter, instead he’s wary like a guard dog. He was the more relaxed one, it was Eddie who was the high strung one. Eddie “bitch slap” Cabot ( that’s my nod to @eddiecabotsmile LOL ) would grill, bully, threaten, and at worst, put a bullet in your beau at the slightest provocation and misstep. It’s a bloody affair being his sister. 

However, when you met Vic Vega, everything changed. You both were attracted to each other from the very first encounter, sensing that you two were meant to be a couple. The chemistry was tangible, potent enough that Joe understood what was happening. And he wasn’t unhappy about it, quite the opposite! He loves Blondie like a second son and couldn’t have picked a better man for you to date. Vic’s trustworthy, upstanding, and has you in good hands. It reminds him of his first wife, who is yours and Eddie’s mother, and whom he was just as madly in love with. So, your daddy just lets the relationship bloom on its own. 

Eddie was overjoyed that Vic might be his brother-in-law some time soon, but less thrilled that his baby sister was going to be in a romantic relationship. He just worries for you, what dating or marriage would do to you and your sibling relationship. Deep down he’s anxious about losing you for some inexplicable reason--though he will never admit that to anybody but himself. Whatever he can do to keep you safe seems the best option. Yet, when he sees how happy you are with Vic, something stirs within him that he can only identify as joy. Happiness that you are happy and fulfilled. 

Lots of dates with Vic in which your dad and brother tag along. Be it one of the nightclubs or steakhouses Joe owns or one of Blondie’s biker haunts, you four always manage to have a great time dancing, drinking, and eating to your heart’s content like royalty. 

Joe and Eddie continuing to shower you in gifts, with the addition of Vic’s presents too. Really, you are spoiled by their tokens. Blondie loves nothing more than seeing you in a dress he bought you and your neck dripping with fancy diamonds from his affections. You’re a classy girl, and he figures that a classy girl like you deserves special treatment. 

You are definitely concerned when Eddie and Vic pull jobs with the other Dogs. Things could go sour very quickly. God forbid if something were to befall your brother and boyfriend. Just the thought is enough to make you sick with worry. Luckily you have your daddy to put you at ease. He’s not about to let anything happen to his son and best man/future son-in-law. You know this, which reassures you. 

I had to put something along the lines of innuendo in this headcanon set, because we know that Blonde is a lusty little shit, a closet freak. Skip this one if you are uncomfortable with implied smut! When you’re around your brother and dad, any sexual attention is kept under the radar as much as possible for Vic. This is him we’re talking about after all, ha ha. Anyways, Eddie is certainly not a fan when he accidentally catches you two making out, presumably about to take it a step further. He whines and gags about it, being the drama queen he is. 

All good now for you to look, if you skipped from above!

Vic loves you and your family too, feeling fortunate to even be apart of it in the way he is. And you love him more than anything, living for him every single day of your life. Eddie and Joe are just thrilled that Blonde’s apart of the family now, something that should have been coming for awhile! 

I am so sorry if these weren’t great, please do let me know and I can totally fix them to suit your needs! Thank you so much for requesting again @scarletcountesss, I super appreciate you and your support, kindness, and friendship! You rock! And that goes for all of you, of course! More requests will be released soon, I promise! Stay tuned, and have a great Easter weekend everyone, if you celebrate it! Ciao!

#killingitreservoirdogsstyle #@scarletcountesss #Reservoir dogs #Quentin Tarantino #movies #Nice Guy Eddie #nice guy eddie headcanon #Eddie Cabot #Chris Penn #Vic Vega #mr blonde x reader #Mr Blonde #michael madsen #Joe Cabot #Lawrence Tierney #Reservoir Dogs x reader #reservoir dogs headcanons #request #headcanons #thank you thank you thank you #i so appreciate your support #love you all

[eddiecabotsmile]

headcanon: the dogs being clingy

pink

gets grumpy when he’s clingy !! bc he won’t come to terms w/ attachment issues 🥲

kinda mopes around childishly waiting for you to notice him

his shoulders will slouch, and his neck will stick out slightly

its the end of the world when he’s clingy

needs simple attention like hand holding, extra kisses, long hugs

wont beg bc he’s a passive aggressive hoe ™

“that book looks stupid” “you should just come lay with me instead”

love love lovesss when you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in for a kissy kiss

pink will often pull you into a hug and rest his chin on top of yours

your scent (shampoo) always eases his mind

orange

omfg this guy livessss for hanging with you

naturally clingy so this isn’t anything new

works himself up in the mirror before asking for a hug lol

gives you that good ol’ newandyke grin :D

“was just wondering if you wanted to read a comic together or, if you’re not busy, i mean”

wants you to play with his hair 24/7

reading comics WHILE playing w/ his hair omg

he likes hanging out with you !!

when freddy’s clingy he kinda gets awkward

falls asleep on your lap w/ his arms wrapped around your waist

blonde

macho man needs his cuddles - but is too macho to admit it

instead he just comes and picks you up, taking your seat and plopping you into his lap

“what’re we watching sweetheart” he whispers into your ear

vic is not afraid to just insert 😏 himself into the situation

if you’re you’re busy he gets a lil bitchy

“if you keep working i’m gonna go psycho” “you hear me?” “honey, i swear i am” “whatev-“

he’s more of i am hot and horny type of clingy, yk?

loves to grind you down/back on to his crotch

by instinct he has to mark you, just hickeys everywhere

nibbles your neck down to your ear and … it gets very nsfw

white

yells at you from another room to come here

“come give daddy a kiss, will ya?”

TUMMY KISSES - giving AND receiving

larry wants nothing more than to have you in his arms the whole morning

running his thumb over your lips and down your chin, admiring how lucky he is

complimenting you a LOT bc he’s so love drunk :’)

lazy mornings, holding hands at the breakfast table, feeding you bacon, feeding him bacon

“you’re my sunshine, you know that?”

shamelessly clingy

kinda like blonde - just comes up to you and starts loving on you

brown

will fake sick ANY time just to get you back home

sometimes this comes in handy when you don’t want to go to work

likes to hold you - and smell your hair like a weirdo

hugs you from behind, following you into the bathroom, laying his cheek on your shoulder

not afraid to follow you around the house

“oh hold on, i gotta take this” you say to your friend, excusing yourself to the other room. your boyfriends voice came loud from the other end “oh baby i need you to come back. i think i’m dying”

you roll your eyes, he was not dying

but in his defense all brown wants is a night of kisses and cuddles from you

brown slings his arm over your shoulders, pulling you to rest your head on him, and sighs happily

prefers to watch scary movies to you’ll have to get close

eddie

eddie might act all like a business man but he’s s o f t

you’ll be sitting down doing whatever when he’ll come into the room trying to grab your attention

“can you just get up, you’re on your ass so much i’m starting to forget what it looks like”

it’s cute when he gives you puppy dog eyes bc it always works

eddie has you sit on his lap while he takes business calls tho

random make out seshs that leave you dizzy

eddie “whiny cry baby” cabot

eddie tilts his head to the side, sighing into the air, “baby all i’m asking for is 5 minutes. can you not spare me that?”

suffocating your face in his big burly chest

#reservoir dogs x reader #reservoir dogs headcanon #mr pink x reader #mr pink headcanon #mr orange headcanon #mr orange x reader #mr blonde headcanon #mr blonde x reader #mr white headcanon #mr white x reader #mr brown x reader #mr brown headcanon #nice guy eddie x reader #eddie cabot headcanon

[queens-hoes]

Saying ‘I do’ with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Ah, finally, the day has come

Your wedding to Arthot Arthur

Even though you guys are praCTICALLY married, he wants to do things right to prove his commitment to you

So he definitely wants to go all out

Doesn’t hurt that he’s got access to those Sherlock royalties and Daddy Comte’s sweet coin

He’s already mentioned wanting to marry you for a long time (i.e. his romantic end, the wedding event)

So you aren’t surprised when he finally pops the question

He plans a whole speech to tell you how much he loves you and how you saved him from the ghosts of his past

Buuuut then he gets super flustered and forgets evERY WORD

Even though there’s no doubt that you’ll say yes, he still gets super emotional when you accept his proposal

He’ll never admit it, but he crieD

Poor boy

He gets you a ring with a nice big gem the same colour as his eyes so you can remember how much he loves you

He still doesn’t realize that you don’t need fancy gifts or a giant ring to know how much he cares

All you need is him

You make every decision for the wedding together: the venue, the food, the decor, etc. etc.

EXCEPT

FOR

THE DRESS

He tells you to get something sexy as a joke not really and suRE ENOUGH, YOU DO

Nothing too crazy, after all, we’re still in the 19th century

But you manage to find a seamstress willing to make a classic dress with some more modern customizations

We’re talking a revealing/exposed back, a tighter fit and maybe a leg slit if you’re feeling extra daring

She wasn’t crazy about making something so risque, but who can resist that Saint-Germain charm and money?

When Arthur sees you in your dress for the first time, his eyes practically POP out of his head

Is that a tent in his trousers?

He thanks God for this gift of a woman

Once he gets over that initial shock, he’s on the brink of tears for the rest of the ceremony

Contrary to popular belief, our little Arthur is very emotional

He stumbles through his vows and it’s the CUTEST THING

Vic is definitely the ring-bearer

The kiss at the end of the ceremony is surprisingly chaste considering it’s ARTHUR you’re marrying

Does this make you....Lady Conan Doyle?

Both the ceremony and reception are held at the mansion since that’s where it all started for you two

You even invite the kids from the orphanage to the reception and they love every second of it

You catch Arthur playing with them on the lawn and it makes you so soft

Because you just know that he would make an amazing dad

The cake isn’t too crazy, but it’s definitely got a cute lil wedding topper of you and Arthur (courtesy of Sebastian thanks bro)

During your first dance, Arthur starts feeling you up mmm that exposed back tho

"It looks like God finally won’t hate us, luv”

“Arthur...”

“I hope you don’t like that dress too much”

“ARTHUR-”

Some things never change

Theo is the Best Man and you bet your ass that he clowns the FUCK out of Arthur

He goes into GREAT. DETAIL. about how wHIPPED Arthur was for you and how sad he was when he thought you didn’t love him back

“Hondje, you don’t know how many nights I had to listen to him go on and on and on about you while I was just trying to drink in PEACE”

Shut up, Theo, we know you love him

He also mentions how Arthur was freaking out like crazy before proposing to you bc his dumb ass thought you would say no

aS IF YOU COULD SAY NO TO HIM

Theo deadass had to persuade him to go through with it

Oh Arthur, you poor, dumb boy

Of course, Theo eventually says really nice things about the two of you

Who knew that he could be so sweet?

Literally me, but anYways

At the end of the night, you and Arthur take a very nice carriage ride to the fanciest hotel in town

 bc no one, and I mean no one, wants to hear those noises tonight, not again

Your honeymoon will be a trip to the UK to see where he grew up

But that’s for tomorrow, bc tonight is all about you, him and the love you have for each other

“It’ll always be you, darling. No one could ever replace you in my heart. I may have been a real dog in the past, but you’re the only one for me now and forever.”

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp arthur #arthur conan doyle #ikevam #ikevam arthur #ikevamp headcanons #ikevam headcanons #arthur x reader #wedding hcs

[callumsmitchells]

you were meant for me, and i was meant for you (ao3)

Callum's tossing and turning in his bed, the covers that surround him are wrapping around his legs, restricting his movements further. He lets out a deep sigh into the night, the darkness of the room encasing him, and looks at the alarm clock that sits at his bedside table. Ben often teases Callum for the alarm clock that illuminates the room with red rays, telling him to just use his phone, but Callum likes the idea of having the alarm clock, saying it's homely. It reads just after midnight, and he watches as the seconds tick away. A swirl of anxiety makes its way through his body when he realises what the midnight hour signifies now. It's his wedding day. He smiles, remembering how nervous he was when he first realised that Ben was about to propose. It's the same nervousness now - excitement for what's happening, but scared all the same, because they're in uncharted territory now.

For weeks now, Callum's been unable to sleep properly. He spends nights trying to sleep, tired to his aching bones, but then when he eventually does close his eyes, he's right back in the Vic, sprawled out across the floor, cradling Ben as blood pours from his body, and the colour drains from his face. It's terrifying, knowing that he saw the man he loves that close to death, but it's even scarier when he remembers that was his last attempt at a wedding day - so what could possibly go wrong this time?

He groans, and kicks out at the sheets, needing to feel free from the tightness of them around his legs. He stretches out, and there's a click of his bones. He grabs his phone, and holds it above his face. On the screen is a photo of himself and Ben, taken at their engagement party by Lola, who couldn't resist sending it to Callum the morning after in a hangover induced state. They're both wearing smart clothes, though they don't look pristine, because they couldn't stop putting their hands over the other all night. Ben's got his legs hooking over Callum's lap, and Callum has his arms around Ben's waist, holding him in a warm embrace, fingers just managing to find a sliver of skin to touch. Ben's looking up at Callum, a bright and beaming grin spread across his face, and Callum's mid laugh himself. He loves that photo of them. They look so carefree and happy, love radiating from them. It's the kind of love that lasts, and stands the test of time. 

Callum looks at the time again, noting that it's now ten past, and he shakes his head, but finds Ben's contact number anyway, and presses the call button, putting his phone to his ear. There's three rings, and then a click and he hears Ben's familiar voice, husky and yet soft, pulsating down the phone. "What's wrong?" He asks, and yeah, Callum lets out a chuckle at that. It's just so Ben.

"Nothing." Callum says, already feeling better for just hearing his fiance's voice. "I just can't sleep. I miss you too much." 

Ben chuckles softly, and there's movement down the phone. There's a smile in his voice when he speaks again. "You'll be seeing me in less than twelve hours, in a suit." 

"I can't wait." Callum grins. He turns on his side, looking out at the bed before him. It feels empty. "I just wish you were here." 

"I do too." Ben admits, and it breaks Callum's heart just a little bit. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong? Don't forget, I know you better than anyone. I can tell when you're not okay."

Callum lets out a deep sigh, and his eyes fall shut for just a moment. His hand stretches out across the mattress, and he can feel the natural dip in it where Ben should be. His heart aches for him, but Callum's more than aware that this is just for one night, and then Ben will be back where he belongs, for the rest of their life together. "I'm probably just over tired." Callum says, trying to deflect from the anxiety that's prevalent within him. It's true though, partially. For weeks he's been falling asleep late, staying up to make sure that this wedding will be as perfect as it can be. Then when he does eventually sleep, his slumber is disrupted with thoughts of nightmares. 

"And you think that'll be any different if I was there?" Ben asks, a laugh bubbling away from him. Callum can just picture him, his cheeks flushing a shade of red, a cheeky grin spreading right the way across his face. "I know people say sex dwindles after marriage, but I don't think we're quite there yet babe." 

"We better not be!" Callum laughs and he realises something. Ben makes him feel better. In hindsight, he probably should have realised that before now, but Ben has this magic ability to make Callum forget about all his troubles. He smiles, and speaks again. "What if something goes wrong?"

There's a silence down the phone, and Callum has a sinking feeling in his stomach, regretting even thinking of the question, never mind asking it. He can just about hear Ben's breath over the speaker, and it reminds him of all the times Ben breathes on his bare skin in the night. 

"It won't." Ben says, after a moment of pausing. "I know that sounds stupid, because it's a wedding and it's here, but I promise you, nothing will go wrong. We've got no secrets. Nobody hates us. Not a single person is out to get us. We know who's going to be there, we know what time we have to be there, we know everyone who's coming to the reception. Everything is planned to perfection babe, nothing will go wrong. This time tomorrow, we will be husbands and very drunk, but ready to spend the rest of our lives together. And even if something magically does go wrong - which it won't, because we love each other - it won't take away from the fact that I love you, and that I want to marry you, and I want to spend the rest of my life by your side." 

A tingle spreads through Callum, goosebumps rising on his skin. He smiles softly, his eyes rolling shut as tiredness overtakes his body. "You're amazing, do you know that?" Callum asks.

"It's been said." Ben jokes. "Now go to sleep. Lola said something about going around to ours at half eight to make sure Stuart hasn't tried talking you out of it, so be prepared for that." 

"He's actually quite excited to have you as a brother in law." Callum says, trying to count how long it is between now and Lola barging into his door. Not long enough, according to his tired brain. 

Ben chuckles. "I'll believe that when I see it." He says, and there's a relaxing pause as he smiles. "I love you, Mr Mitchell." 

Callum's heart skips a beat. "I still can't believe you've talked me into that, but I love you too, Mr Mitchell." 

The sun's beaming down, and both of them are grateful that the weather's perfect for a day like this. There's early signs of Autumn, the leaves that were once green now transforming into a burnt orange and deep red and slowly floating down to the ground. It's warm enough not to need a jacket during the day, but it's certain to have a nippy breeze later on as the sun leaves and the moon appears. 

The doors to the wedding venue are open, and Callum's standing outside, shaking peoples hands, welcoming them in, or kissing their cheeks. Lexi's standing by his side, jumping up and down in her bridesmaid dress, asking when her daddy will be here. Nerves course through Callum, especially when Lola reads out a text from Jay saying that they're just around the corner. Everyone's rushing inside, and they're all speaking excitedly, conversing in their seats. There's the odd person standing up inside, but they soon sit down when the news of Ben's imminent arrivals spreads. The doors closes to a shut, and Callum and Stuart are left standing outside together. It's quiet, but Callum's heart is beating loud enough that he can hear it himself. A car door slams shut, and Callum looks down at his feet, too scared to turn and face Ben. There's a smile on his face, but anxiousness in his body. There's footsteps tapping behind him, and then a hand on the small of his back that he instantly recognises as Ben's. He looks to the side of him, and he's blown away. Yeah, he's seen Ben in a suit many times, but never like this. Never a suit of such importance. There's something about this moment that's reminiscent of their first meeting - it feels like it's just them in the world, nobody else matters.  

 "You look amazing." Callum lets out, almost whispering, like it's some sort of secret. 

Ben grins a beaming smile, and pushes his hand out so his pinky is interweaving with Callum's. "Feeling better now?" Ben asks.

Callum nods slightly, and there's tears that are threatening to fall from his eyes to stain his skin. "Still a bit scared if I'm honest." Callum admits, and Ben's running his thumb over his knuckles, grounding him in a calming manner.

"Good scared?" Ben quizzes, raising an eyebrow in a questioning motion. "Or bad scared?"

Callum chuckles, and entwines his fingers with Ben's hand entirely, lifting their connecting hands to his face. He presses a kiss to Ben's fingers, directly on his ring finger, right where his wedding band will be sitting in less than an hour. "Good scared. The best kind of scared." 

"Good." Ben says, biting at his bottom lip. "Fancy getting married?" 

Callum nods, a laugh bubbling away in his throat. "Yeah. I do."

#ballum #ben x callum #ben mitchell x callum highway #ben mitchell #callum highway #myfic

[stardancerluv]

All Flowers Must Bloom Even in Winter

Part 10

Summary: A trip for the Bishop family.

Warning: Light intimacy

@theblackmaskclub a bit of fluff

“We don’t pull on daddy.” He admonished your son, you could tell by the tone his voice had taken he wasn’t angry.

You had been delightfully, wading out into the cool water on the hot summer day. “John Lawrence Bishop Jr., what are you doing to your daddy?” You asked before turning around, you tightened the knot of where you tied your skirt to the waistband of your dress. “John, want me to take him.”

Little John, happily cooed and wiggled, a chubby little hand reached out to you. John, looked over at you, smiling. “I suppose he made the decision for us.”

His boots were off to the side with the socks tucked in them. His pants were rolled up to his knees. Getting up easily he brought little John over to you.

Taking him, you rested him on your hip. “Hi sweetie.” You made a soft endearing sound. “Did you miss your mommy?”

He patted your chest. You chuckled. “You are just like your daddy, you want it you go after it.”

He came up beside. “What did he do now?”

“He let me know he’s hungry.”

“I certainly do that.” John chuckled, you could remember a time when such a chuckle was rare but now, especially since he had a son, he laughed and smiled more. “Are you happy, blossom?”

“I am.” As you settled on the soft sand craddling your son. “It is so lovely here.” You looked up at him blinking because of the sun. “Thank you for taking me out here.”

*****

“Sleep now for mommy and daddy.” You told your son sweetly, after singing the lullaby to him. After seeing, him yawn awfully big which reminded you alot on the ones you’ve see pass John’s lips, he settled against his little fist and was now fast asleep.

Going, over to the window you looked out. You could not believe the Pacific Ocean was out there. John, had wanted to sweep you away on a nice trip. As a gift for being an amazing wife and mother. You had assured him it wasn’t necessary but he wanted you to know how special you were. Now that you were here you had to admit as nice was the town John was building up, this was so different and it was incredibly exciting.

A sharp breeze the ocean came in and the wood creaked behind you. Turning, you smiled as watched John, walk more like shamble in.

“Hi John.” You said sweetly, you met him in the middle of the room.

“Hello little blossom.” He wavered a little on his feet.

“Did you win big downstairs?”

He wiggled his eyebrows. “I did.” He reached into his pocket and with his hand full, he dropped lots of coins, a brooch and lots of paper bills.

“Oh wow, you certainly did.” He beamed at you.

You smiled. “John, how many did you have down there?”

“Enough.” He pulled you close and began pulling the ribbon and the pins that held your hair in place. “I like your hair down, little blossom.”

“I forgot, I’m sorry.” You, had never seen John tipsy but he was now. It was different.

“It’s ok.” He mumbled against your throat, his breath was hot and smelled of his rich tobacco and whiskey. It made you feel home despite being in the great state of California.

He wavered away from you, once your hair was down. He rested his hands on the all crib that held your son. John’s face became so soft.

“I’m glad he is sleeping. All this traveling had been incredibly exciting.” You whispered.

“Yes, it has.” He traced one of Little John’s plump baby cheeks with a finger.

Turning, he came back over. “You gave me a beautiful son.”

You blushed. “You helped John.”

A smirk then danced under his mustache, “Maybe a little.” It fell from his face. “Can I hold you tonight?”

“Of course.”

******

Holding you, he rested his chin on your shoulder. You looked so good in your chemise. When the candle had it just right, he could see the shadowy outline of your curves.

His heart beat irregularly. This place had. Always held such excitement for him. He was grateful to have brought you and little John out here. What he had not expected was to feel so bittersweet. This is where he became a mature man, a villain more in the eyes of the law and now he was a father and husband. Two things, he always thought Vic would do, not him.

Now as his arm held you close to him, it felt right. It had been since the moment, he said before the heavens that you would be his forever.

He supposed he was bittersweet since there was no one here he could show you off too. Remembering, the past...remembering his ghosts made him drink.

Eventually, shrugging off the past, he let himself fall asleep.

*****

“John...John...” your soft voice called to him from far away.

Blinking, he rubbed and eye. “Morning.” The warm light of the sun lit you right up and once again nothing was hidden.

“Are you ok?” Concern had wrinkled your brow.

“Yes, of course. Why?”

“You were making, soft but anguished sounds. I was worried you were having a nightmare.”

“Oh!” He felt a bit of unease, clinging to him like cobwebs but didn’t feel anything else. He pushed it away since in the pit of his stomach, he also felt unbridled need to have you.

“I’m fine.” Stretching, a contented yawn came from him. “Come here,” he crooked a finger at you. “Your husband, needs you.”

“Oh, does he?” Your voice was sweet and light like a breeze. “My husband needs me does he?” You said drawing close.

He could feel as one of your delicate hands drifted down under his long johns. That hand now settled on his lower stomach. It brought a sharp groan from him. “Why stop there blossom?”

“Because I am hesitant,” you looked up at him, as you looked at him from where you rested your head on his shoulder. “want to try something new.”

“Oh, did the book you were reading give you ideas?” He pressed his lips together as your fingers gently moved through his very well kept much thicker hair down there. If it was one thing he hated was people, letting themselves go. He always prided himself to stay clean, it was a relief you were as well.

“Yes.” Your voice was shy but your fingers had not stopped.

“What do you need from me?” His interest was perked. What could she have possibly read about.

“Shed out of your long johns and let me straddle you.”

“Alright.” He did enjoy watching you from above.

******

He moaned softly from the kiss, as your hand continued you move up and down him. His need had really grown. He couldn’t take it much longer.

He nipped your lip, he loved the expression that crossed your face. “Your husband does not wish to come undone like this. Will you take him inside of you?”

He felt your hand, shake under his words. “Yes.”

He gasped as you easily moved back, and despite being tight something that had not changed he slid right in. “Feels like you were craving me as much as I was you.”

“I was.” You exhaled, a soft moan coming from you as well.

“You best ride me, love or I shall have to ride you.” He smirked at her.

Soon you began moving on him. The way your body moved, the sunlight and the shadows made him all the harder.

@shantellorraine soft John.

#jane got a gun fanfiction #jane got a gun #ewan mcgregor #john bishop #john bishop fanfiction #john bishop x you #john bishop x reader #part 10 #all flowers must bloom even in winter

[somefantasticplace]

THE MIRROR INTERVIEW

Bob Mortimer, the shorter half of Reeves & Mortimer, has made a fortune out of being daft. He and Jim Moir, Vic Reeves' alter ego, have become famous for making clever and surrealist comedy that looks very similar to two blokes whacking each other with frying pans, farting and wearing inside-out footballs on their heads. They have been labelled childish, silly and rude and stand guilty as charged. But even Bob was shocked when he realised his comic genius was too immature for his four year old son, Harry.

"The only bit of Reeves & Mortimer my son has ever seen is us hitting each other with frying pans," Bob says with a sigh. "He got really upset. He said, 'Why is he hitting you daddy?' I said "Well, its just being funny." Harry looked at him with disdain. 'Hitting people is not funny,' he told his dad.

"The funny thing is that me and Jim have never had an argument, ever," Bob says. "We spend half the time on TV smacking each other and arguing. But we've never had a real argument."

The pots and pans are polystyrene and most of the props are balsa wood, but he and Vic still injure each other. "When we did Big Night Out we were terrible," he says of their first TV venture. "We're rubbish at pretend punching and hitting and there were no retakes so we just had to punch each other." He winces at the memory. "In one bit, Jim had to rip off half the lid of the desk and smack me on the head with it. One half was balsa wood and the other was proper wood. He picked up the wring half!" Bob mimes being attacked by a heavy wooden desk. "It looked fantastic on telly," he adds proudly. "There's stuff coming out of my nose..."

Harry, you reflect, wouldn't be very impressed. But then Bob knows keeping millions of TV viewers amused is child's play compared to entertaining his kids. When he's not filming, he's a full-time dad. "It's shattering," he admits, rubbing tired, pinprick eyes. "My kids are three and four and in the mornings it gets to 11am and I think 'I've been entertaining the kids for five hours already." The comic never knew his own father, who died when he was six. "My father's death was probably the defining moment of my life. Which is strange in a way because I don't remember him. The only thing I can remember is him walking out of a door." He looks sad when he says this. "When me dad died he was a salesman, selling Fox's biscuits."

He was insistent about the type - crumble crunch - and the brand, Fox's. It seemed eccentric but it suddenly makes sense. He's maintaining a link to the father he can't remember.

"I don't know if he would be proud of what I do," Bob continues. "He might disapprove - I never knew him to know what he liked." "I don't want to be dull about it. I don't miss him because I don't remember him, but I do sort of know that his death made me the person I am."

What sort of person is he? "I'm a compulsive helper - that's probably what a shrink would diagnose. I always want to help." "I tried to be strong for me mam when my dad died. It was selfish, I suppose, because I knew that if I lost my mam I'd have nothing. That's what I'm like. I try to be nice to people so they'll need me, so they don't f*** off".

In all the years since he was 12, 41 year old Bob has never been out of a relationship. "I've been with my girlfriend, Lisa, 10 years now," he says.

Comedy may be the new rock and roll, but Bob's a domestic animal. Even his face is sleepy and cat-like. "Even before we had kids, we weren't exactly wild," he says. "Most of our time was spent sitting on the settee watching the box, going to Ikea, getting up late on Saturdays..."

His mum was a cookery teacher and spent the war "at the Ministry of Food showing people what to do with powdered eggs." Her son makes a fine ox-tongue, he says. "I can do all those tricky things. I can do all the jams - and I love my vegetable patch. The first time you actually plant something and it grows is magic."

Seeing Bob on the TV, zipping about like a hyperactive kid on high E numbers, it's hard to picture him making jam and tending to cabbages. But it's even harder to imagine that he was once a grey-suited solicitor, the sort of bloke that no one noticed. "They must be gobsmacked if they've seen me on telly," he says of his former colleagues at Southwark Council's legal centre. "Nobody noticed me there at all."

One night, on the way to the pub after work, a man suddenly came up behind him and held a knife to his throat. "It happened dead fast," recalls Bob. "I thought, 'I'm being mugged!' but all of a sudden he put his knife back in his pocket and said 'Oh hello Mr Mortimer, I didn't know it was you.' "It was one of my regular clients. I'd represented him in court about 15 times. He was a professional mugger."

Apart from the near mugging, life carried on quietly and Bob might have continued being invisible, except for a chance meeting at a pub in South London... with a man performing a comedy act with a ladder and a lump of lard. Bob started heckling from the audience and Jim Moir invited him on stage. There was a clap of thunder somewhere in the comic heavens and Vic  & Bob were born. From then on, every Thursday, he and Jim performed their irresistibly bizarre double act.

"When I first met Jim, Thursday nights were a bright spot in my life," Bob admits. "Working with Jim cracks me up and no one can make Jim laugh like I can."

Their pub act was spotted by Jonathan Ross's brother Adam and, on his recommendation, Michael Grade signed the pair up for Channel 4. In a hangover from those days, the duo always drank four weak pints of lager before performing a show. "We always drank," says Bob. "In the pub in New Cross we wouldn't be on until 11 O'clock, by which time we'd have had four pints. Now I'd be scared not to...

"People think we're mad because we need four pints of lager, under 3.4% proof. Four pints of strong lager and we'd be drunk. It's a fine line. You need to get that familiar feeling but it would be terrible if you were actually drunk," he laughs. "I have to admit that we were very drunk on Jonathan Ross's New Years Eve Special. I can't remember what we said. I don't even know if they showed it." When Vic and Bob were first on telly, Bob lived in a homeless shelter in South London. He'd left his native Middlesbrough to work at the council and had nowhere to live. The best the council could offer was the shelter and, as far as Bob could see, it had everything a young man could need - a roof, a bed and a decent pub nearby. He stayed there for five years.

"When we'd just become famous I used to think I'd love to be on Through the Keyhole," Bob says. He impersonates Lloyd's weird vowels and imagines him walking around the hostel: Whoo liiives heeere??"

He only left when the place went up in flames. "One of the nutters who lived there burnt it down one Easter," he says matter-of-factly. "I came back from me mam's at Easter and had nowhere to live. So I got a council flat instead." He scratches his chin. "You know, I wouldn't like to be one of those comedians straight from university," he says, thoughtfully. "I don't know how you get any perspective on it when life's always been as lovely as that. You haven't had a real life. How can you be happy?" Bob screws up his face and contemplates the present. He lives in a beautiful house Kent with Lisa and their two children. He and Vic are planning a new comedy series and have also been given lots of money for a film script which they keep forgetting to finish. A new series of Shooting Stars starts this month, with added sketches and the inspired choices of novelist Will Self and comedian Johnny Vegas to replace Mark Lamarr.

Comic quiz shows abound but Vic and Bob remain masters of their genre. Who else would have Debbie McGee abseil across the studio or have Michael Winner sniff out "dirty boys" using an elephants trunk? It is utterly, plainly, deliriously daft. But then, Reeves & Mortimer have made daft an art form.

"If you've nothing to compare it to it's not that much of a laugh in the end, being on the box," says Bob, seriously. "But I tell you something - it's absolute heaven compared to working with a council." The Mirror

Jan 2002

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome, dear readers, to Part 2 out of 3 of the Union Comeback Season Premiere Episode (title under construction, part 1 here). Right off the bat, let me just admit what everyone is thinking, yes, mass-deleting default replacements was clearly a huge mistake. Looking good in the heart boxers, boys, especially Jojo! Very on brand and not at all ridiculous. On a lesser but equally annoying note, our windows have suddenly turned red while the exterior AND interior of the house are purple. Dark days ahead..

..but not for Goro, who has returned home since running away and is immediately being kicked out again. Good to see you Goro, now pack up your shit, D’vorah won the cat heir position so it’s time for you to move to Melody and Daniel’s farm.

-Well I’m a cat so I don’t have any possessions to pack.

Thank you for providing an example of why you lost the cat heirship via this painfully boring reaction to the news of your defeat.

-No, he’s right, we cats don’t have any possessions to pack.

Omg D’vorah shut up. How on earth you boring flops are Alegra/Ronroneo’s grandchildren AND Sophie’s children I’ll never understand. I’m this close to making Maxx the cat heir and he’s not even a cat.

-Correct, I’m a dog.

Worst group of pets e v e r. 

Oh look who autonomously woohooed for the first time in a century, I guess those base game heart boxers were simply too hot to resist. If one of you gets knocked up a week away from elderhood I’m gonna have a meltdown the likes of which the world has never seen.

-For the love of God, can we get some privacy here?

I’d love nothing more than to give you two bozos eternal privacy by never looking at either of you again, but the headmaster is here for Wulf so put some clothes on-

-WHAT THE FUCK. Why do we keep getting new headmasters instead of the ones we’ve already terrorized into submission?? Now we have to ‘show BJ a good time’ and ‘maybe we could give BJ a tour’, I’d honestly rather give BJ a bj and get this shit over with, I’m tired of threatening headmasters with murder. Hopefully it doesn’t come to sexual favors but if it does, Wyatt, you’re up. 

-Pourquoi moi???

Pourquoi toi still haven’t gotten promoted and toi sleep 22 hours a day, it’s high time toi pulled your weight around here. 

Good, that’s the spirit.

-Bonjour, monsieur Headmastér! I wòuld introdûce yoù to Wûlf but hé is très busý with unpàid çhild labόr.

-Haha, what a hilarious joke, Mr. Union!

-Alright Cinderello, after you’re done cleaning the flooding shower you’re going to need to jump out the second floor window and go study in the crypt, so the headmaster doesn’t see you and ask you any uncomfortable questions about whether I acknowledge you as my son. I have to go help your father charm our guest by giving my trademarked speech on how I never got impregnated by aliens and what a blow it was to humanity’s future. 

-Ok Mr. Jojo!

-For the last time Wulf, it’s not ‘Mr. Jojo’, it’s ‘Mr. Union’. God.

-Ah hello there Headmaster BJ, apologies for my lateness, I was tucking little Wulf in bed because I definitely acknowledge him as my son. As I do all 3 of my children and not just Cyneswith. Ask anyone! But not Wulf or whatshername.. I want to say Shenar? Anyway, now that that’s been cleared up, what are we talking about here? The fact I never got impregnated by aliens and what a terrible blow it was to humanity’s future? I assumed as much.

-Haha aliens?! Well you are just a family of crack ups, does your son share this amazing sense of humor?

-Oh yes yes he definitely does, and he is definitely OUR son, that’s exactly how I view him as well, not solely as Wyatt’s offspring just because he appears to not have a drop of my DNA. I mean who even cares about that? Not me, that’s for certain. Yes, Wulf was just telling me the funniest joke while I was reading Cinderella to him before I put him to bed-

-Man, it’s so hard to concentrate on math with a broken leg from jumping out the window and Grandpa’s disembodied head floating around.

Grandpa’s disembodied head?? 

OH FUCK KOMEI

-What?

Nothing! Looking good! The decision to delete default replacements didn’t affect you in any way!

-Thank god, have you seen Vic with that base game hair? Talk about scary. 

Yes, talk about scary indeed. Do you happen to know if the matchmaker performs the occasional exorcism?

-No idea.

Well she hates me anyway so that was solution was dead in the water. I have to go back to the headmaster fuckery now, but I want you to know I’m really sorry for what Salome did to you. 

-Sό, monsieur Headmastér, the όnly tràck reçord which est bettér than the όne we havé with bébés wόrking, est the oné we havé with our animàls rûnning awaý!

-Oh my.

-He’s joking, he’s joking Headmaster BJ, we’re both excellent pet owners and excellent parents, if you’ll excuse me the phone is ringing-

-Cyneswith darling! An adult bartender is calling for you and he has the Komei face! You might be 14 but he’s clearly future husband material!

-Be right there, daddy!

-Alright, I think I’ve seen enough here.

No you haven’t! Wyatt, take off your robe!

-No need, I’ve made up my mind..

-..you’re obviously a perfect match for our school! 

What the hell? How? Even by our standards we legit didn’t do shit.

-Headmaster Jitmakusol left a very distraught letter regarding your family before he was institutionalized, the gist of it being it is pointless to try and keep you people out of the school, and his successor should simply ‘roll with it’. 

Well ok then! Pleasure doing business with you, BJ.

-The pleasure was all mine, please don’t ever contact me again.

We’ll make sure to be in touch.

In the meantime, Komei has recovered his body!

-Why me? WHY ALWAYS ME? CYNESWITH IS RIGHT THERE

-Sorry honey, we play poker for it every night and Victor won dibs on Cyneswith.

-That’s right, the first one to scare everyone gets ghost-bingo!

Are you fuckers playing ghost-poker or ghost-bingo?

-It’s a hybrid, we have a lot of time on our hands, being dead and all, so we developed an overcomplicated gambling system for our scares. 

Yea ok congrats Victor, now can you fuck off before you actually do kill one of the kids?? They have 10/10/9 energy, they literally never sleep.

-No can do, if you actually kill someone you get Yahtzee!

How many fucking games are involved in this bullshit?

-We told you, we have a lot of time on our hands. SUCK IT VICTOR, I WIN FOR THE NIGHT

Win for the night? Who cares about that, you have Wyatt cornered, go for the Yahtzee!

-Oh, but you said our games were bullshit!

That’s before I realized Wyatt was awake for his allotted 2 hours per day non-sleeping time. Wyatt istfg bro, are you half French-Arab and half panda?

-Pandàs eàt for 14 hourès idiόt, ne pas slèèp.

Well look who knows a suspicious amount about pandas now! Almost like he’s descended from them.

Oh good, everyone’s favorite couple simultaneously has the day off. How about I take you two out for a nice date at Londoste since you’re about 55 years old?

-How about hard pass on that architectural monstrosity of a restaurant and we hang out for 6 hours in our front yard instead?

-Oui, oui! Très blanc garbagè of us!

Well at least we’re not forgetting our roots. 

Alright then, we’ve crossed into white trash territory unironically with the yard pda and we’re also freezing to death, how about we take this inside?

-Non!

-Yes, non indeed! I love how frozen your hands are, dear, it’s like you’re a real corpse!

Oh my G-

-Catch me, Creature!

-Je t'aime, dr. Frankènstèin! 

Ok, new suggestion, how about instead of going inside we visit a nice church?

-How abοùt you lôôk awày, pervertir!

Bold words from someone doing Frankenstein roleplay, and I’D LOVE TO, but the kids are at school and the animals are sleeping, so there’s no looking away from whatever the fuck this is. 

Oh thank god, Cyneswith is back from school and ready to cockblock her parents as always. First time I’m genuinely happy to see you, Cyn.

-Straight A’s again! Ah, we may only have one child but she is THE BEST. Wyatt dear, come here to congratulate Cyneswith and further inflate her ego. Wyatt?

-Why is he ignoring my straight A’s, daddy?! 

-Ugh, he’s probably jealous since everyone is jealous of you, darling. Pay him no mind, let’s go inside so I can give you the diamond tiara I got you for your birthday.

-But my birthday is in four months, what will you get me then?

-A throne to go with it and anything you want from Sihara’s and the other one’s rooms?

-They have no rooms, remember? They both sleep in the crypt.

-Right, well how about I act like I got them presents, give them to you and make them watch as you unwrap them?

-Aw daddy💗

-Je ne pas fèèl bien..

Yes, you’re dying, so it’d be some real Frankenstein shit if you did feel bien.

Is this Komei-clone bartender serious, first he calls while the headmaster is over, now he calls while we’re dying, FEEL THE FUCKING ROOM PAL

..and there we go. RIP Wyatt, it’s been sorta ok having you in the fami-

-WTF HOW ARE YOU ALIVE

-HA. I lièd, I AM hàlf pandà and mon beàr gènes protéct moi! 

GODDAMMIT I KNEW IT. Is that why the one child you gave birth to is your exact clone?

-Oui! Wulf est 1/4 pandà, et toi wènt et namèd him WULF. 

Well, to be fair, not a lot of famous pandas I could have named him after even if I knew. 

-Toi çould hàve namèd him Pandà!

Oh man, Panda Union does have a nice ring to it, especially next to the other names.. ~Shajar~, ~Cyneswith~ and PANDA. Thanks a lot for depriving me of the opportunity by withholding your genetic info.

-Je think Wulf est ontό it.. 

Onto the fact he’s 1/4 panda? I highly doubt that.

Yea nevermind, he knows. 

Oh great, Shajar has brought yet another uggo with a culturally appropriative hairstyle home from school. 

-That’s what you get for letting her out of the crypt.

Give it a rest, Jojo, we’ve had enough of your incredible parenting to last us 10 lifetimes at this point. 

-And then it goes: I send the thunder from the sky, I send the fire raining down, I send a hail of burning ice, on every field, on every town! I send the locusts on a wind, such as the world has never seen, on every leaf, on every stalk, until there's nothing left of green! I send my scourge, I send my sword, THUS SAITH THE LORD🎵

-Great, thank you, Shajar, for singing the entirety of the ‘10 Plagues’ song from The Prince of Egypt 27 times. I’m really sorry but I have to go home now-

-It-was-nice-to-meet-you noogie!

..Shajar, please, PLEASE see a doctor. 

-My sister Shajar may be super popular, spoiled and beloved-

WHAT LMAO

-but I have the friendship of animals and that’s all that matters!

Yea, Cyn, no offense, but it feels like you’re trying to cultivate an underdog Disney princess persona for yourself that is the exact opposite of actual family dynamics around here.

-What makes you say that?

Your tiara and throne vs Shajar sleeping in the crypt come to mind.

-So to be an underdog you need to be a loser?

I mean narrative-wise kinda, yea. 

-Message received. 

No, no that wasn’t a message-

-Yes it was and I got you, loud and clear.

Oh god.

-WHAT? YOU’RE REJECTING ME BECAUSE I’M TOO PRETTY? MY HEART IS BROKEN! I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER GET OVER THIS

-Uh, who are you again? Shajar invited me over, ordered a pizza and has been hiding in the bushes for 1 hour waiting to noogie the delivery guy. 

-I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M HEARING! I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SING ABOUT THIS IN AN ENCHANTED FOREST FOR ABOUT 3 AND A HALF MINUTES

Jfc, where are the ghosts when you need them. 

-Mommy has dibs on you tonight, Jojo! 

-Mom please no! Your hair is so damn hideous! Just stay in your urn until the default replacement has been put back!

-Ah excellent, I have upgraded my robotic abilities up to cleanbot level! 

That actually is excellent, I really want us to fire Kaylynn. 

-Cleanbots don’t change cat litter. 

..UGH then why even bother, Jojo? The cat shit is 90% of our problems, make something that fixes that or stop wasting airtime with your nonsense. Istg some people. 

-Alright sis, how about we go out again tonight and ~play the field~? If I get rejected by a couple more mean boys I can earn my underdog princess badge!

-You are so stupid, Cyneswith, if you want to earn your underdog badge all you need to do is board a doomed ship, Titanic style, and then give the floating door to someone you’ve known for a couple of days while you selflessly and pointlessly drown in the freezing ocean despite the fact you could take turns sharing the door.

-But then I would be dead.

-I know right? Everybody wins. Let’s go get you some tickets.

Yea, let’s not, but let’s get out of here because the ghosts are out of fucking control and you two aren’t sleeping anytime soon.

-Shaj-and-Cyn-in-da-club noogie!

Shajar FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, ENOUGH. 

OMG IT’S SOPHIE MIGUEL. SOPHIE MIGUEL IN THE HOUSE

-Whaddup dildos, ‘tis I, Sophie fucking Miguel, the meanest townie teen there is. I’ve only taken 4 steps into this place and I can already tell I’m surrounded by a bunch of beta turbocucks. 

SHAJAR GO TALK TO HER!!!!!

-HEY BITCH, I’M NOT A BETA TURBOCUCK, I’M ALPHA AS FUCK. I’M NAMED AFTER SHAJAR AL-DURR! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS?

SHAJ WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, WHAT IS THIS APPROACH

-Of course I do, the first Mamluk Sultana of Egypt. Nice. 

OMG THAT SHIT WORKED. LAND THE PLANE SHAJ

-Ohhhhhhhh😍 Do you want to talk some more?? Do you like the 10 Plagues song from the Prince of Egypt???

-Nop, as suddenly as I came into your life, I’m dramatically getting the fuck out for no discernible reason, cause that’s just how I roll. Gone with the wind, baby! I’m like an outdoor cat. You’ll never see me again.

-Oh but I will..

YES YOU WILL SHAJ. I’m so on board this particular Titanicesque crackship that it’s un.real. I mean Sophie Miguel literally came into this place, talked to Shajar for less than one minute and then left the bar entirely, in turn leaving us dick in hand. What.an.icon.

In the meantime Cyneswith.. did this. Game-changing night for everyone!

#gen 2 #ts2

[doof-doofblog]

"I'd Like To Talk To Somebody About Reporting A Mortgage Fraud!"

Tuesday 1st December 2020

Hello again everyone! We're finally into December, the count down to the Christmas episodes starts now!! I'm sure we're going to be in for an eventful Christmas! I'm really looking forward to seeing everything unfold! What are you guys most looking forward to? Ian getting his comeuppance and being attacked? Finding out who it was who attacked him? Or the reveal of Mick's childhood abuse? Either way, it's a going to be a roller-coaster full of emotions I am sure!

Let's make a start with the blog following last night then, the episode begins with Max minding his own business, getting everything prepped in the restaurant, as Ian makes his way in - INSTANTLY you can see the smug look on his face!! You can see he's going to enjoy himself putting Max in his place! Max seems surprised to see Ian standing there watching him, questioning whether he has other things better to do - such as getting the money he owes him - instead of standing there. However as soon as Max mentions his money, Ian is quick to inform Max that he's not letting him boss him around anymore, and what's even more of a blow, is that he won't be selling the Vic! Max looks completely and utterly confused and asks whether Ian has actually had some knock on his head, it's then that Ian really smugly grins and warns him that he won't be receiving a penny from him unless he wants the Square to know about his rendezvous with Linda, simply blackmailing the poor man! Max is absolute shock and disbelief as Ian grins and walks out the room, I'm quite saddened to see how these two partners - considering they became civil and started to support one another during a brief time, have come to this!

Meanwhile, at the Carter apartment, all the decorations that Linda had put up to surprise her husband are still hung up around the living room. As she walks into the kitchen with little Ollie, Mick is seen sprawled across the sofa, it looks as he's asleep. As Linda is getting her things together, little Ollie looks over to to his Dad, and in such a gorgeous sweet voice asks his Mum "What's the matter with Daddy?" - Is this the first time we've ever heard Ollie speak?! If so, he is so adorable! I'm sure we all have our own favourite child actors on the Square, I have to be honest, mine is Ollie - he's just an adorable little boy and such a cute little actor!! But of course all the young actors in EastEnders are fantastic! As Ollie questions his Mother, Linda simply explains that the young boy's Dad is just tired. As they both leave the room, once again the camera is focused on Mick and he slowly opens his eyes after hearing his son and wife talking about him.

At the Cafe, Tiffany and Keegan are enjoying their breakfast as they talk about how many missed calls she had from Stuart and Rainie the previous day. Tiffany seems to be a lot more understanding than Keegan is as she assures her husband that it's mainly because the couple are excited about becoming parents, it's something they have longed for for so long. Suddenly Rainie enters as Tiffany is about to chow down on a vegetarian breakfast, Tiffany pleads to her to at least let her eat her hash brown before talking about periods again - but Rainie is quick to apologise for how she acted, it was completely out of order and unnecessary. She questions the redhead whether things are still okay between them, Tiffany assures her that everything is fine and nothing has changed, Rainie seems surprised to hear this - as after Ian revealed to Whitney what Tiffany had gotten involved in, she was sure things may have changed. However, Tiffany reassures her that things are still set in stone for her to be her surrogate, only as Rainie leaves the Cafe, Whitney enters and as they both their separate ways, they both clock each other. It's then that Whitney approaches her younger sister and informs her that they need to have a serious talk.

Meanwhile, at the laundrette, as Linda is busy doing the washing, Max enters - once again Linda appears a bit cold when it comes to his appearance. Max warns her that they have to discuss what happened the previous night, even though Linda is just insistent that it was a kiss and it didn't mean anything, he tells her the very important piece of information that it just so happens that Ian saw them in their embrace. Linda looks in shock and a bit of fear that the worry sinks in that Ian could say something to someone, even Mick.

At the Branning household, Whitney has brought Tiffany and Keegan over to Jack's to discuss Tiffany's promise to Rainie. Whitney is stunned to hear that they have been offered £10,000 to have their baby! Tiffany is adamant that she wants to go ahead with it, considering that the money they've been offered with help pay for her course and Keegan's new stall on the Market. However when Whitney asks whether it's legal - I'm sure Stuart and Rainie both informed Tiffany that everything would be above board and they'd get the right paperwork they'd need - however, I have done a little bit of research. Whitney reveals that Tiffany's age is in fact 17, the legal age of someone to become a surrogate is the "Adult Age" of 18. However, even though it's legal for someone to be surrogate at the age of 18, the preferred age is between 21 and 45. With Tiffany being so young, there may be more complications down the road that they all might face, even though Tiffany may be fit and healthy. The main reason why they consider 18 to be too young is because of 3 main reasons :- the persons emotional maturity, their physical maturity and whether they've had a previous pregnancy. I'm not saying that this is in Tiffany's case, but that is what the research I have found states, I'm sure EastEnders will handle this storyline in a really touching and careful way. As Whitney and Jack still voice their concerns to the teenager, she leaves the room feeling incredibly frustrated.

Back at the laundrette, Linda is fretting whether Ian will leak the news about her and Max to the community. She informs Max that her husband hasn't been the same for weeks and if he found out that they'd kissed for a second time, it would absolutely destroy him. Max tries to calm her down and informs her that he will take the rap for it, he explains that he'll tell Ian that he came on to her instead, so that she won't be looked down on by her neighbours, plus it would be a way of saving her marriage to Mick. He promises that he'll sort it and he'll take care of Ian and informs her not to worry. Linda is incredibly thankful to Max as he leaves her in search for Ian. Meanwhile, as Callum is walking alone down the road, DI Thompson confronts him after jumping out of his car, it looks as if he's been parked up for some time waiting for Callum to make an appearance. He corners Callum as he informs him that the police department have put him under review because of the anonymous 999 call which they still have no leads on. It looks as if Thompson is blaming Callum because he used his ID, to which Callum recalls him mentioning it would be okay, but from DI Thompson's point of view, he said he wouldn't report Callum, but it looks as if things have made a really dark turn and Thompson is now trying to get his own back on Callum. But he thinks fast on his feet and reveals that if he was going to take him down, Callum was just drag him down with him as he wouldn't be able to answer any questions they would have, in response Thompson punches Callum really hard and deep in the stomach, only he picked the wrong timing as Stuart witnesses everything from a distance and informs Thompson to back off and leave his young brother alone. Callum begs his brother to leave it, he informs him that Thompson is in fact his boss and he'll only get into trouble if he did anything. Only as Thompson says that he can do whatever he likes, Stuart takes his chance and wallops him right in the nose! (Deep down, I was cheering - YES STUART!!!!!!!!!) - Callum is stunned to see his brother assault his own boss, but let just hope he hasn't made it 10x worse for his younger brother.

At the park, Keegan approaches his wife as she's sat alone at a picnic table, he questions whether she's okay, but she reveals to him that she is sick of being treated like a child. Suddenly Jack approaches them from behind slowly, Keegan notices him first and then Tiffany turns to see her Uncle. Jack explains that he's not there to argue with them, he admits that they can make their own choices in life and agrees that they are both now adults making very important and life-changing decisions, however he does drop the bombshell to them that Rainie can't pay them the amount she's offering, as it would be illegal. Much to the young couple's shock, he reveals that they only amount they'd get is "Reasonable Expenses" - now I've done a bit more research to this to try and explain what that means. If they go through with the surrogacy through the proper channels, once Rainie's and Stuart's baby is born, a court will decide how much Tiffany and Keegan will get - in the UK there is no standard figure, but on average the amount between £12,000 - £20,000 is the accepted rate for surrogacy. Jack does also explain that obviously the devastating motion of giving a baby up once giving birth to it is one of the hardest things to go through. He worries whether the young couple will end up like himself and Denise. Tiffany and Keegan both reassure him that they both will be okay. With this information, he politely leaves them to it to discuss the situation more.

Meanwhile, at the Vic, Bobby shows off the lovely, glistening, shiny, blue Lucy Beale Award to Sharon, she gushes over the sparkly vibrant award and informs the young teenager how beautiful it is. Suddenly Kathy makes an appearance and whispers to Sharon whether a certain something has arrived, as Sharon motions her to the back of the pub, Kathy informs her Grandson to stay put as she has a surprise in store for him. As she disappears to the back, Bobby begins to go through everything that needs to be done for the night's event, informing Sharon that the food needs to be chilled and then questions her whether she has everything prepared on her phone. As Sharon promises the young teenager that everything will go according to plan, Kathy appears from the back with a huge cheque for  £20,000! Bobby is but dumbfounded as he compliments it being a bit big, but Kathy reassures him that it looks exciting and professional! Suddenly as Ian appears behind the bar, Bobby is excited to show him the reveal of the Lucy Beale Award, however his Dad only comments on the colour, and very disrespectfully says that he would've gone for a silver colour instead of blue, much to Kathy's irritation and Bobby's disappointment, it absolutely baffles me how Ian is not more supportive towards his son, he's literally shown no interest in his son's charity, in his own daughter's name. Ian looks incredibly smug once again as he informs Sharon that he's managed to have words with Max and that he won't be selling the Vic, Sharon appears to be very happy and very proud of her friend - oooh I can't wait till she discovers the truth about everything. As things carry on, Ian happily places a delivery into the freezer, although whilst in there, the door slowly closes behind him and we can see a hand on the door's handle. Max! - Sorry, but even though I am glad that this is happening, locking someone in a freezer is incredibly dangerous. Of course, Ian has no idea how he's managed to get trapped inside, he bangs the door and calls for Sharon's help, but Max just grins and allows him to carry on yelling for help.

Outside on the Square, Shirley and Tina catch Linda as she's leaving the laundrette, they ask her whether she managed to get through to Mick the previous night. Linda devastatingly informs them that Mick showed no interest in their evening together and she didn't even manage to get a word out of her husband. They look in defeat as Linda walks away, Tina is still lingering onto hope of the idea of getting the Vic back for Mick, but Shirley is eager to get any information she can on Ian, she pleads to her sister that if she knows any information at all she needs to spill the beans if it gives them any chance of getting back in the Vic. Even though Tina promised her boss she wouldn't say anything, something tells me that Tina will have no other choice but to reveal what Ian did to his Mum to the papers. I'm sure Kathy has no recollection of informing her colleague about Ian's wrongdoings, but how will she react if the news became public?!

At the Prince Albert, Callum and Stuart are sat talking about their previous encounter with DI Thompson, Callum seems to be stressing even more now that Stuart has had to interfere, but in all due respect, Callum was sticking up for his little brother, no matter who it was that punched him, he would've done the same to anyone! Callum informs his brother that he followed his advice on trying to get the bug from the Arches back, but the devastating truth is that Phil got there before him. Luckily Phil doesn't yet know who planted it, but Callum really needs to start treading carefully. Stuart informs his brother that they need to put a stop things before anything else gets out of hand, Callum is already up to eyeballs in it, how much worse can things get for him?! He tells his brother to leave him to it, and leaves the bar, but something tells me that Stuart is just wanting to help his brother and somehow, someway he will find a way of finding a solution to help his younger brother.

Meanwhile, back at the Vic, Max has still trapped Ian inside the freezer. Ian is calling out for Sharon, Tracy, anyone who could potentially be listening. Suddenly, Ian starts to panic - and as he does so, he starts to have flashbacks of locking poor young Dennis on the boat and him screaming for help. Max smugs and laughs as he can hear Ian screaming at the top of his lungs, Ian's breathing becomes raspy and he starts panicking for his life (GOOD!) - He realises that this is exactly what young Dennis must've gone through. He lets out one last cry for help and Max slowly opens the door, Ian is hunched against the floor as Max places his foot against Ian's throat, he questions how long it would've taken for someone to realise he was actually stuck in there, no one would've noticed him! Ian begs Max for his mercy and pleads to let him go, but before he does, he warns Ian not to say a word about him and Linda to anyone, plus he'll get him the money he is owed, otherwise he'll do what he should've done a long time ago and finished him off. Ian nods to the agreement/warning and Max removes his foot, insulting him before he leaves.

Back at the Carter's, Mick is now sat up and fully awake, he hears footsteps approaching the living room and Tina pops her around the corner, happy to see her brother looking a bit more alert. She looks around the room and notices all the decorations that Linda has put up from the previous evening, she questions whether they had a late night. Mick softly reveals to his sister that he wasn't feeling in the mood and that the truth is, he went to visit the old children's home from their childhood. Tina is surprised and questions him why he went there, he explains simply that he needed something, something in his head told him to go there. Tina seems to realise and understand what her brother is saying, she explains that it was possibly like being in the Vic, having a family around him and if he's having those feelings, maybe visiting a property can make you think about old times and maybe relive memories. Mick nods and confirms to his sister that she's absolutely right, but of course - that's not all the truth really is it, we all know the main reason why he visited that place - Tina cocks her head and tells her brother to leave it with her, she'll be able to sort something. What the hell is Tina thinking of doing?! We know she's determined to get the pub back in the Carter's name, but how will she be able to get Ian to sign it over to them?!

Returning to the Vic, Ian is sat alone with his hands stroking around his neck, he appears to be in a world of his own as he recall's Max's words. Sharon makes her way into the living room and approaches the laptop in front of her, ready to sort out the charity account for Bobby's charity. As she looks at her phone, she comments on how small the writing is on her phone and asks Ian to read out an account number for her, as he does so, little Albie begins to cry and Sharon has to leave to see to her young son. Only as she's absent, Ian takes a swift look at the laptop screen - what is looking at exactly? As Sharon returns, he is looking very shifty and looks completely on edge as she starts to get to work on the laptop.

Meanwhile, at the funeral directors, Stuart has caught up with his wife, who appears to be looking at baby items on the internet. Stuart begins to worry as she mentions about the extravagant baby items she's found, she looks at him with concern and questions whether he still wants to have a baby. Stuart reassures his wife that that is all he wants right now, more than anything - but truth be told is that he made so many mistakes with his daughter, Zara, he's scared he might make the same mistakes. Rainie then takes it upon herself to reassure her husband that he's brilliant with young Abi, and that any child would be lucky to have him as their Dad. She also confesses that she too is terrified about becoming a Mother, she recalls watching her sister, Tanya, having a children and remembers the feeling of distraught that she wouldn't be able to have children of her own, but now with Tiffany and Keegan's help, their wish is becoming true, and softly and gently, the husband and wife share a kiss. Although, unbeknown to them, whilst they're having this deep discussion, Tiffany and Keegan are having a discussion of their own. Tiffany informs her husband about all the videos and articles that Whitney has sent her in warning to being a surrogate, it's then that Keegan drops the bombshell that he thinks that Jack and Whitney are right. Tiffany is devastated to hear that her husband has changed his mind, he informs her that in the first place, they were only doing it for the money, and now they know that they might not even receive it, and that he fears her giving birth to a child and falling in love with it is inevitable. He voices that the first baby they would have together, deep down, he'd want it to be their own. Tiffany asks her husband whether he never mentioned this before, but eventually reveals that to her it is also a big relief. It looks as if they may no longer want to go through with the surrogacy - only how will they be able to tell Stuart and Rainie?! They're going to be heartbroken! Does that mean they'll need to find another surrogate?!

The final scenes of this episode show Tina is scooping popcorn into separate bags at the Prince Albert whilst Kathy is revealing everything that has happened during the day involving Ian and Bobby. She's happily informing her about Bobby's effort into putting on an Award ceremony in the name of his deceased sister, and also informing her disappointment in her son, Ian, about his response to Bobby's hard work. Commenting on how Ian criticized the award itself because of the colour, she voices that she wishes Ian would be more supportive of his son, but it looks as if Ian will never change his ways. Tina is silent as Kathy reveals all this information to her, but also nods and acknowledges Kathy's words. She then agrees to attend the award ceremony to show Bobby some support. But as Kathy leaves the building, Tina grabs her mobile phone and quickly dials a number, it looks as if she's either called the police or possibly another newspaper declaring she wants to speak to some to report a mortgage fraud! Is she finally going to reveal the truth about Ian?! Meanwhile, as she's doing this, Ian and Sharon are upstairs of the Queen Vic watching television, however Sharon has fallen asleep on the sofa with the laptop open. Ian looks over and decides to sit himself next to Sharon and take a look for himself how much the charity has raised - we can see that the charity has raised a whopping £20,137.00! Only Ian goes and stoops the absolute lowest he can get - he transfers £20,000 of that amount into Max's account! He's only gone and stole money from his own daughter's charity!! How on Earth can he stoop so low?! Something tells me though that he will get his comeuppance for doing this! Bobby is going to be absolutely devastated when he finds out (It wouldn't surprise me if he does attack his Dad!)

Something also tells me that, now Max has had money transferred into his account, he will see where that money has come from. It won't say "Ian Beale" but instead "The Lucy Beale Foundation!" - so he will know full well that Ian has transferred it from the charity account into his -  I hope that Max isn't accused of stealing it, as that would be another huge twist in the mix and another reason for Max to go after Ian! If Max's notices in time, I'd like to think he'd to the decent thing and either put the money back into the right account or let everyone know that it was Ian who gave it to him!! This is a very interesting cliff-hanger, and I'm really intrigued to see how it's all going to unfold! I apologise for this blog being so late, but tomorrow I will post another blog following tonight's episode! Thank you all for reading, please feel free to leave any comments or opinions on the current storylines, I'd love to hear your thoughts and I'll always respond! Thanks again folks and enjoy the rest of your evening! Love you all! xXx

#eastenders #ianbeale #bobbybeale #lucybeale #kathybeale #maxbranning #jackbranning #tiffanybutcher #keeganbaker #stuarthighway #rainiecross #callumhighway #whitneydean #tinacarter #lindacarter #mickcarter #shirleycarter #sharonwatts #dennisrickmanjr #dennismitchell #olliecarter

[chaossmagic]

fic: love hard, love fierce

With the comforting presence of his husband and son at his side, Aaron finally reads the letter that Lisa left for him.

TW discussions of death, grief.

read on AO3 

Seb spotted Aaron before Robert did; his little face breaking into an animated smile over the top of the bench where he stood, bouncing with his arms outstretched, and let out a joyful squeal that carried on the slight breeze as Aaron approached them. The sight of his gorgeous stepson, the bright head of hair and dimpled cheeks, was a warming tonic to the stone that felt like it had settled in his chest since the funeral that morning. Turning round to see what Seb was so excited by, Robert broke into a matching smile of his own when he saw Aaron coming, one hand steadying the little boy while he reached over the back of the bench to take Aaron’s hand wordlessly in the other, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles in a gentle, soothing touch. 

Aaron let out a deep breath he wasn’t even conscious he was holding inside him, feeling the line of his shoulders drop and relax as soon as he had Robert’s palm, warm and soft, in his own. The park was empty save for a few seagulls pecking at the grass and ducks floating on the water of the small pond, and Aaron bent to press a kiss first to the top of Robert’s head, then Seb’s, who gurgled a little giggle at the feeling of his dad’s rough stubble against the tender skin of his forehead. 

“Hey,” Robert said softly. “If i’’m honest, I didn’t think I’d see you till later.”

“Neither did I,” Aaron admitted, coming to sit next to him on the bench and scooping up Seb into his lap, who immediately buried himself in Aaron’s jumper, little fingers gripping the lapels of his jacket. He scooted closer, needing to physically feel Robert close to him, to inhale his scent and allow it to alleviate the heaviness he felt in his stomach and chest, the grief curling up in his throat. He stroked the soft hair over Seb’s forehead gently, rocking him as he added, “It got a bit much. The wake, I mean. Just needed to see ya. And this little guy,” he blew a wet raspberry on Seb’s cheek, making him laugh again. The sound was like bells, sweet and infectious. 

Robert made a sympathetic noise, wrapping his arm around Aaron and pulling him in closer, resting his cheek against his husband’s temple and gently rubbing soothing circles into the top of his arm. “I wish I could’ve been there for ya today,” he said. “It’s just, well, funerals and fussy babies don’t really mix, especially since Bex reckons Seb’s started teething, so I didn’t want to spoil it by being the bloke with the screaming infant ruining the eulogy.”

“It was a nice ceremony,” Aaron said. “Charity shared some old stories about Lisa, and Belle read a out poem she wrote, bless ‘er. It must have been so hard for her to do that in front of everyone. They even brought her into the church in the old Dingle van, if ya can believe that.”

“What, that decrepit old thing you showed me ages ago?” Robert asked disbelievingly, eyebrows shooting up into his hairline. “The one that’s got about an inch of dust on it and covered in scratches?”

“Yep,” Aaron replied. “The very same. It seemed to fit, Lisa being who she was an’ all that. You better not put me in it, though, when my time comes, or I might just come back to life and kill ya.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it,” Robert laughed a little, scraping his nails through the soft hair at the back of Aaron’s neck, making him wriggle and stretch contentedly with a sigh, adjusting Seb a bit so that he was tucked into the crook of his shoulder. “Only the best for my beautiful husband, who’ll get the best send-off the village has ever seen, you mark my words.”

“There better be a pig race, though,” Aaron said nonchalantly. 

“Okay, now I can’t tell whether you’re windin’ me up or not,” Robert scoffed. He tickled Seb under the chin, making him twist and try to squirm away, and lowered his voice conspiratorially. “What do you say, little man? Is your daddy Aaron havin’ me on?”

“I am not!” Aaron protested. “There were three of ‘em, and our Spamela won, didn’t she? Won by miles. And you wanted to make her into a bacon sandwich,” he tutted, reminding him of the time when Belle’s sow had crashed at their home for the night, then gone walkabout in the village making them both fear Belle’s wrath. He looked down at the little boy. “That’s not very nice of daddy Robert, is it Seb, hmm?”

“Da!” Seb squealed, which quite frankly could have meant anything as he’d only barely begun babbling yet, but Aaron took it as an agreement and smirked at Robert triumphantly. 

“Sounds like a great way to celebrate her life,” Robert said sincerely. “I think I like that idea. Focusing on the fun, good things rather than her loss, even though you’re all going to really miss her.”

“Lydia gave me this,” Aaron said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out an envelope bordered with green and purple flowers, Aaron written on the front in Lisa’s neat writing. “Lisa left one for each of us, my mum, Debbie, Cain, Sam, Charity....but I just couldn’t face readin’ mine without ya.”

“Can I?” Robert asked, reaching for it, and Aaron handed it over without hesitation. With a nod from Aaron, he opened it, taking out the sheets of paper that were carefully folded inside. “Do you want me to - shall I read it out to you?”

A hard lump in his throat, his palms tingling, Aaron nodded. “Please.” He held Seb a little closer, feeling his soft baby breath on his neck, as Robert unfolded the first page and started to read.

Dear Aaron,

My love, there’s no-one who epitomises what it means to be a Dingle more than you. You’ve endured so much, and had so much heartache in such a young life, that to see you come out of it fighting and ready for anything makes me so, so proud. My only regret is that I won’t get to see you enjoy this next chapter with your wonderful husband, gorgeous little Sebastian, and the children Chas tells me you two are hoping to have sometime in the near future. 

To have suffered the way that you have, is more than anyone could possibly bear in their lifetime. But you’ve put us all to shame with the way you’ve handled some of the worst experiences imaginable, and still be such a kind, gentle, loving young man who would do anything for his family and who is capable of so much love. Whatever happened to that little scrap of a lad always getting into trouble, eh? I’ll tell you what happened. He grew up into an amazing man who found his place in the world, and went after what he wanted most without fear or shame.

I was never able to make it to your wedding, but your mum sent me some photos in the post afterwards, and the happiness radiating out from you with your Robert at your side took my breath away. What a lovely couple you two really are, so happy and content with each other, so at peace now that you’ve found each other. In a way, you reminded me of how I and your Uncle Zak have felt all these years, despite and including the time we spent apart. I know you haven’t had the most conventional or easy relationship, but true love always finds its way, and the two of you have something so few of us get to experience - a soulmate.

So cherish him, Aaron. Cherish each other. Love your son and all your children to come. Remind him every day just what he means to you, and hope and trust that he will do the same when it matters most. Love hard and love fierce like I know you can, like the Dingle I know you are. 

All my love,

Lisa

By the time Robert reached the end of the letter, Aaron was gripping his hand so tightly his wedding ring was in danger of creating a permanent welt in Robert’s palm; tears splashed down his face as he squeezed Seb to his chest, inhaling his warm baby smell as he fought to control the aching sobs trying to push their way out of him. He hadn’t cried at the funeral, not even really when he’d been told Lisa had died, but hearing her words now, the words she’d written just for him, had brought it all spilling forward in an avalanche he didn’t know how to stop. 

But Robert was there, solid and unyielding, and that made everything just that little bit more bearable, hugging Aaron close and blinking through his own tears as he murmured in his ear, “Aaron, Aaron, I love you so much. It’s okay. I love you.”

What would he ever do without this man? 

“I love ya, too,” Aaron said hoarsely. “And I mean, Lisa said it all for me in that letter, it’s scary how much she knows, but - you’re it for me, ya know?”

“I know,” Robert affirmed, nodding slowly and pressing a firm kiss to Aaron’s temple. One hand came up to stroke through Seb’s hair again, the little boy snuggling further into Aaron, rubbing his cheek against the fabric of his jumper. “I know, Aaron. I always know. And I’m sorry I haven’t made it as clear as I should have, these last few weeks. All this Vic stuff, it’s messed with my head...I took you for granted. That wasn’t right. I love ya too much.”

“Not as much as I love you,” Aaron murmured quietly. “Soft idiot.”

“Sentimental muppet,” Robert quipped back. Carefully, he folded Lisa’s letter back into its envelope, and tucked it into the pocket of his coat for safekeeping. He reached behind himself, pulling out a small bag of what looked like bird seed. “Want to help me and Seb finish feeding the ducks before it’s time for me to take him back?”

“Absolutely,” Aaron agreed. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, would I?”

Robert stood, holding out his hand for Aaron’to take; he did so, holding on tight, Seb perched on one hip with his arms round Aaron’s neck. He walked them down to the edge of the pond, the three of them in unison; they made quite the little family unit, Robert and Aaron holding hands, Aaron with his arm securely round Seb, who was giggling and shrieking “Uck! Uck!” as they took turns to throw handfuls of seed into the water. Watching with delight as the ducks rushed towards the food and tackled each other, each wanting the biggest share for themselves.

#personal #anyway this was so sad to write i want to bury myself in dirt now thanks x #lorna's writing #robron #robron fic #robert x aaron #emmerdale #emmerdale fic

[susieskinner93]

Happy Father’s Day 

Ao3

“And Vic was really fine with it?” - asked Aaron biting his lips as they got in the car. It was father's day, and they wanted to spend the whole day with Seb... which was a bit difficult under these circumstances. They both knew this, but they couldn't be away from their little boy on this day.

“I asked her at least 5 times. She said it was okay... that we should go. But you were there, you know this.”

“I know it's just... “

“Diane's gonna come over. I already spoke to her.”

“Okay then.” - he sighed. - “I can't wait to see his little face.” - smiled Aaron already thinking about all the mischief they're gonna get up to.

“I know me too. It was a great idea.” - said Robert already imagining themselves by the pool.

“He loves the water.” - mumbled Aaron. It was true, he really did. Last summer they went to the Hotten Pool more than they could count on both hands, just because Seb loved being in the pool.

"I can't wait to drink an ice cold beer.”

“Alright let us get there first.” - laughed Aaron. - “Do you think he's impatient?” - he asked referring to Seb.

“I hope so, I know I am.”

“That's because you're practically a child.”

“Thanks very much.” – he laughed – “You know how she said he was fussy in the past few days?” - he asked Aaron. Of course he remembered, they had to video call Rebecca at one point because Seb was crying for hours and he wouldn't want to settle for anyone. That was until he saw his daddies, and after a “pep talk” from daddy Aaron, he was good as gold. Nobody knew how he did it. Not even Aaron himself.

“He settled quickly though... after the call I mean.”

“Yeah, because you, husband, are a baby whisperer.” - smiled Robert.

“I'm not.” - blushed Aaron.

“Okay then, explain it to me. Explain it how you managed to get him to sleep within 2 minutes. Just accept the facts alright. You're his favorite.” - said Robert and he meant it. Aaron and Seb seemed to have a bond like no other. And he was grateful for that.

“He doesn't have a favorite Robert... “ - answered Aaron rolling his eyes.

“Alright, we'll see.” - he said smirking. He wasn't upset by it, on the contrary. He adored how much his son loved Aaron. It was something that could always make him smile.

They spent the bare minimum at the house, wanting to get to the pool as soon as possible, but they had to listen to Rebecca's rambling about how she hasn't slept a wink because of Seb. He was crying all night for days now, and of course, he didn't care if Rebecca and Ross wanted to have some sleep. Obviously, in the morning he was the perfect little angel, napping for hours, being adorable, but she never got to see this because of work. So she was really exhausted and didn't mind one bit when Robert called her to take Seb away for the whole day. Ross looked even worse, and he still had that bite on his hand that Seb gave him 4 days ago. Robert wanted to laugh in his face when he told them, but he resisted the urge... barely.

“Do you think.... forget it.” - said Aaron as they headed to Hotten with Seb happily mumbling away in the backseat.

“What?” - asked Robert taking his eyes off the road for a second to look at Aaron – “Think what?”

“It's just... it seems like Seb doesn't really like... Ross...” - it wasn't exactly what he wanted to say, but Robert's next words made his angst go away.

“Or his mum.” - chuckled Robert. And that was exactly what Aaron wanted to say, but he felt like he couldn't. - “I mean I'm not saying she's a bad mum, but... I noticed that she's struggling sometimes.” - Aaron didn't answer to that, just kept on looking at Robert. Robert felt his gaze and stole a look, confirming what he's already suspected – “You wanted to say this didn't ya? I mean for real.”

“Okay yeah...” - he sighed not even trying to deny it. Why would he? – “It's just... as you said, I noticed it too. I think he's missing us.”

“I know, but... with this whole thing with Vic... I just don't think it's a good idea for him to stay over for long.”

“I know... I know.” - he said as he turned to look at Seb – “I just miss him so much when he's not there.”

“Me too.” - said Robert patting Aaron's thigh.

“DADA!” - they heard Seb.

“Alright, buddy we're gonna be there soon.” - said Robert looking at his son in the rearview mirror. - “It's a bit hot, can you give him his sippy cup?” - he asked Aaron.

“Yeah sure.” - he said already searching for it. That's how they spent the whole car ride. Making sure Seb was happy and content, and just enjoying their time together.

“How's the water Sebby? You like it?” - asked Aaron as he watched his husband splashing water at Seb. The little boy laughed so much, mirroring his father's actions, trying to get some water in his face as well. It was adorable to see, and Aaron couldn't help the smile on his face. He sat there at the edge of the pool for a couple of minutes more, before he gave in to Robert's invite.

“Finally.” - he whispered when Aaron got there pulling him to his side. The water was chest-high, so Seb was in his little swim ring. He was sitting in it like a king, without a care in the world. The water was still fascinating for him, and when he noticed no more splashing from his dads, he took matters into his tiny hands, trying to cause a scene. Robert's lips barely touched Aaron's when they heard their son, wanting attention.

“Exactly like his daddy.” - smirked Aaron – “ ...always wanna be in the centre of attention.... don't ya?” - he laughed swinging him around.

“Having fun?” - asked Robert as he rested his chin on Aaron's shoulder, looking at Seb, making funny faces at him.

“Yeah, we really do.” - answered Aaron as he bumped Seb's nose, letting him catch his hand in the process. Robert noticed how at ease was Aaron, and it was relieving. He kept his shirt on, but he wasn't the only one, and nobody seemed to be bothered about it. Robert was worried they might get some dirty looks because no matter how open-minded people were these days, there were always one or two arseholes wanting to ruin their fun. Not today it seemed.

Seb was pouting when they removed him from the pool. He was in it for hours, he needed to get out. They wanted to grab a bite, and maybe he didn't feel it now, but Seb needed his nap. Aaron dried him off, ruffling his hair with the towel, making him giggle. Then they agreed to eat something. They even got ice cream afterwards, and watching Seb trying to eat ice cream was one of the funniest things in the world. He looked like a little monster.

“Wait a second.” - said Robert to Aaron before he jumped up from his seat, only to return minutes later with a lemon.

“What's that?”

“Come on Aaron... it's a lemon. You should know.” - he laughed.

“No you idiot, I know what it is, I don't know why you got it.”

“Remember all those videos we watched like months ago? Where babies were eating lemon for the first time? It was so funny.”

“No.” - he said shaking his head. - “You're not gonna give that to him.” - he chuckled.

“Why not? Come on. It's gonna be funny, you can take a video.”

“Robert, I mean it, you can't do that to him.” - said Aaron laughing already, as he reached out to stroke Seb's little hand. He was unaware of this whole show, he just kept looking at his dads, not knowing what was going on.

“You wanna try this right Seb?” - asked Robert as he sat down next to the high chair. His tone was too convincing for a little kid, so Seb obviously started nodding. - “See? He wanna try it.”

“He's gonna cry.”

“It's a good thing I have the baby whisperer here with me then.” - he winked. Aaron only rolled his eyes, licking his ice cream.

“Go on then.” - he sighed finally.

“Here, just make sure to get it all on camera.” - grinned Robert as he tossed his phone over the table.

“The things I do for ya.” - mumbled Aaron, but Robert heard it.

“Ready?”

“Yeah, go for it.” - he smiled as he shook his head again. It's gonna end in tears... at least he was convinced about it.

Robert prepared the lemon before he slowly reached it out to Seb. - “Come on try it.” - he said with the biggest smirk on his face. Seb took it from him, then licked it, and as soon as he had that sour taste in his mouth, his little face started twitching. That was before he started coughing a bit, but he still kept on licking it. - “I think he likes it.” - laughed Robert.

“And I think that's enough.” - said Aaron, but he still hasn't stopped recording. - “Come on get it away from him.”

“Alright, alright.” - said Robert trying to get the lemon back from his son. It took a couple of minutes before he could achieve that because Seb seemed to like it. In fact, he liked it so much they had to buy a lemon ice cream afterwards, just to prevent the crying.

“I can't believe it.” - laughed Aaron, rewatching the video.

“I honestly thought he's gonna hate it.”

“Then why did ya give it to him?” - asked Aaron shoving Robert away from his side.

“Ouch. It was fun wasn't it?” - he smiled.

“You're lucky he loved it.”

“I think someone wants to go back to the pool.” - said Robert nodding at Seb.

“I think he needs to have at least a little nap first. He's gonna fall asleep any minute, look at his face.” - true enough they were both right. Seb wanted to get back, but he was too tired to keep his eyes open. - “Come here, buddy.” - said Aaron taking him into his arms. - “We're gonna go back, but first, you gotta rest a bit, coz you can't go in there with a full stomach.” - he kept on talking and Robert kept on looking at them. He rested his chin on his hand, looking like a lovesick teenager as he was listening to his husband's soft voice.

“Robert? Robert?” - called Aaron, trying to not speak too loud.

“Yeah... what?” - he said shaking his head to get out of his daydream.

“He's nodded off.” - he whispered, looking at his lap. Seb was holding onto Aaron, his face buried in his chest, as he slept.

“Stay there, don't move.” - said Robert before he took a picture. Aaron wanted to protest but he was too late. - “There. My new background picture.” - smiled Robert showing it to him.

“It's cute.” - admitted Aaron. - “Happy father's day.” - he said reaching out with his free hand.

“Happy father's day.” - smiled back Robert, taking his hand in his, just for a moment before they got lost in watching Seb sleeping soundly.

#robron fic #my fic #robronsummer #happy father's day

[dancingwithdylan21]

Stripped - Part 2

Summary: Being a high powered publicist, the reader is hired to work with the destructive rock star Dylan O’Brien. Her task is to revamp his difficult image from the ground up. Will the reader succeed? Or will she get sucked into his crazy life?

Pairing: rockstar!Dylan x Reader

Word Count: 2,381

Part 1

~

“You must be out of your damn mind, beautiful.” Dylan’s sudden shift in attitude catches you off guard, the smugness oozing out of him giving you goosebumps.

Why does this infuriating man have to be sexy as hell? And why does he have to be your client?! You continue to focus on Dylan who’s now licking his kissable lips and it’s driving you insane. You need to shut this down. Now.

“Give me your phone.” You sternly command springing up from the couch. Within seconds you’re standing in front of the intoxicating man with your palm held out.

“Excuse me.” Dylan immediately growls slipping back into his anger filled persona.

“Hand over your phone, Dylan.” You repeat loudly, successfully holding back an eye roll.

“And why would I do that?”

“Cutting off communication. Remember? You’ll get it back eventually.”

“Just do it, man. I’ll text the important people, tell them to contact me if they need to reach you.” Tyler adds as he stands up to stretch his legs around the room.

“This is happening whether you like it or not. Just go with the flow and make it easier on all of us. Ok?” You add.

“It’s password protected ya know. You won’t be able to snoop on my ass.” Dylan huffs with aggravation, then unwillingly pulls his iPhone from his jeans front pocket.

“Oh darn. My master plan is foiled.” You sass back, not able to stop the giggle that follows. Tyler joins in himself, ignoring the unimpressed puss on the rock star’s face.

“So what’s the plan?” Tyler asks quietly, looking apprehensive but also hopeful.

You bring your attention back to Dylan who’s sporting a pout as he sinks himself deeper into the couch. He’s doing his best to watch the Friends rerun on TV but you can tell he’s too distracted at the moment.

“Let’s go talk on the balcony, Ty.” You quickly open up the glass slider door and settle into one of the cloth covered chairs. You can hear muffled grumblings from the two men until Tyler stalks outside shutting the slider behind him.

“What did you get me into, dude?” You ask slightly amused as you watch Dylan through the glass door. Talk about glorified babysitting.

“Trust me, I know. The thing that kills me is that he’s a good guy, he just…he does bad shit.” Tyler replies dragging his hand down his face. The poor guy looks exhausted and you realize that this plan needs to work not just for O’Brien but for everyone in his life.

“I just told him that he’s gonna be cut off from everyone and everything. An addict would be panicking and freaking the fuck out. Wanting to score as much shit as they can instead he’s sulking like a little kid.”

“Dylan doesn’t get high as much as you’d think. At least not with the hard stuff.” Tyler wearily admits fumbling with the hem of his collared shirt.

“What…”

“Dyl uses to distract himself when shit gets to be too much inside of his head. It happens sporadically. The bastard is lucky enough that it hasn’t turned into an addiction yet.”

“Then why the rehab?” You wonder skeptically.  

“To stop his antics. O’Brien is a stubborn fucker, Y/N. He won’t listen to anyone. I needed a way of keeping him under control. And rehab did that.”

“Tyler...“

"I know, I know. But listen…I’ve known Dylan for fifteen years. He gets into these destructive phases where any and all common sense flies out the fucking window. I know the signs by now and he was on the verge like six months ago. Hence his most recent stint in rehab.”

You can sense Tyler’s sudden hesitation, he searches your face like he’s debating if he should continue on or not. He’s praying that you make good on your word instead of abandoning this whole arrangement.

“I remember reports of him overdosing like a year ago. Was that true?” You ask curiously.

“Unfortunately. It was the anniversary of his mom’s death. He was already super stressed to begin with, everything became overwhelming and he went crazy.” Tyler sighs heavily flashing back to that awful night.

He found his friend’s bloody, unconscious body lying in a heap of broken glass. Of all the places O’Brien could have passed out, he ends up crashing down onto a glass coffee table.

“I know it wasn’t deliberate. But I also know…at the time he would’ve been fine with whatever the outcome.”

“Jesus Christ, Tyler. Please tell me you at least know the root of all this?”

“Mostly family problems. His dad specifically. They’ve had a volatile relationship ever since Dylan’s mom Lisa died. He was 18 when it happened.”

“I guess I can add daddy issues to the list.” You add softly making Tyler sadly nod his head in response.

“The poor bastard’s been dealing with the guilt and bullshit from his father for almost 12 years now. Honestly I don’t blame him for wanting a break from it.”

“Guilt about what?” You sneak a peek at Dylan to see that he’s now fast asleep. He’s slouched down further onto the couch and propped his boots up on a nearby ottoman. He looks so peaceful that you momentarily forget that he’s a pain in the ass. The moment passes though when you hear what Tyler’s about to say.

“His dad blames him for Lisa’s death and he thinks his son doesn’t deserve all of his success. It’s why Dylan has a love/hate relationship with his career. He’s passionate about it but then the remorse sets in and he almost wants to destroy it.”

“Shit. Was it…I mean…did he…” You stumble out not expecting that answer.

“Yes it was his fault but it was an accident. It’s not my place to get into details, hopefully you’ll get him to open up eventually.”

Well this is just fucking dandy. You’ve dealt with difficult situations before with your job but this one takes the cake. The fact that you have a personal history with one of the people involved makes this harder. And it definitely piles on more pressure than usual.

Deciding you’ve found out enough backstory for now, you and Tyler start nailing down details for this ridiculous operation. He fills you in on where the rockstar likes to go to relax and you have the perfect place in mind. You know this whole process will be tough enough for Dylan, so there’s no way in hell he’s going to another hotel. Too many temptations.

Heading back into the hotel room, you notice Dylan is now wide awake and shoving fruit loops into his mouth. Oh how this man kills you.

“Ok dude…we leave first thing tomorrow morning. So pack everything up that you need because you’re not coming back here.” You inform him, blocking his view of the TV screen.

“Huh?” Dylan mumbles with his mouth full, looking adorably perplexed by your words. Although his innocent act doesn’t last long once he realizes you’re on to his game.

“Do me a favor, O’Brien. Stay. Here. Do not leave this hotel room until I come and get you tomorrow. And no visitors either. Your disappearing act starts now.”

“Yeah that doesn’t work for me.” He waves you off with a defiant smile then continues eating his cereal.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll keep an eye on him.” Tyler shoots you a wink and it makes Dylan throw his head back while moaning theatrically. Drama queen.

You say your goodbyes then rush home and get to work. You don’t have much time to get your preparations in order. Fortunately this isn’t your first rodeo and you have plenty of connections that can help out in a pinch.

Your friend Veronica, who’s a realtor, sends you info on rentals that have immediate availability. You find one that sounds like a winner then continue to get ready for this lovely adventure you’re about to endure.

~

The next mornings sun shines too soon and you seriously regret checking your phone. You have a google alert setup for Dylan’s name, so anytime the fucker makes headlines you get notified. And you’ve been notified a shit ton since you fell asleep last night.

Not only did the difficult rock star go out last night, his drunken ass hit a plethora of bars and clubs in LA. The evidence of it is littered everywhere online. Thanks so much for the help, Tyler.

Apparently Dylan’s god damn chaperone needs a chaperone himself. Fucking men. They never listen. You gave one simple instruction and Dylan couldn’t keep his annoying self in line. And Tyler…well Tyler’s gonna get a god damn earful once you see him.  

You stroll lazily up to your client’s hotel room door with Starbucks in hand. After a couple of knocks, the door swings open to reveal a very large bald man who’s sizing you up.

“Victor?” You giggle remembering Tyler’s description of Dylan’s driver. Apparently he looks like a Rottweiler but has a heart of gold like a Golden Retriever.

“Yes, ma'am but you can call me Vic.” He holds out his hand. “And you must be, Y/N. Come on in.”

You trail behind Vic into the other room and what’s before you is almost comical. There’s a hungover rock star sitting next to a nervous looking manager and they both look pretty miserable.

“Hello, boys. You ready to get this shitshow on the road?” You question fighting back a yawn.

Tyler looks ready to speak but suddenly decides against it, instead he just nods in your direction. Dylan barely grunts a response, yanking his worn Mets baseball cap down further onto his head.

Everyone finally piles into Vic’s dark SUV to settle in for the long ride. Of course he’s the only one who knows where you’re all headed. You decide it’s better to keep the other two in the dark for the time being.

You let the quiet car ride go on for a bit. Mostly because you want your coffee to kick in before mentioning last night. Although the stupid cup of java is not strong enough because you’re still fucking sleepy. Screw it.

“So tell me what happened last night, people. Cause it sure as hell wasn’t what we agreed on.” You glance between the two handsome men getting different reactions from each.

“For the record, I didn’t agree to shit.” Dylan interjects earning himself a dirty expression.

“It’s my fault. I fell asleep.” Tyler looks like a poor wounded animal and you almost feel bad for him. Almost.

“You had one job, man.” You groan flicking the side of his head with your finger.

“And you…” You quickly twist yourself around towards the backseat to where Dylan’s sitting.

“Your drunken ass got around everywhere last night huh? There’s a ton of pictures circulating online right now. All of which you’re clearly shitfaced!" You exclaim as a huge grin graces Dylan’s face.

“I was thirsty, Y/N.”

“Dylan…”

“Oh relax. No one saw me punch a douche bag named Brett in the VIP lounge at Hyde. I did good.” He says proudly.

“Son of a bitch! You were supposed to stay home, O’Brien.”  Ugh. It’s too early for this shit.

“Oops.”

“Oops? You can take your oops and shove it up your ass, pretty boy.” You narrow your eyes in his direction.

“Aw you think I’m pretty?” Dylan retorts without missing a beat.

“Piss off.” You mutter grumpily shifting back around in your seat.

“Well Y/N’s definitely a morning person.” Dylan cackles, making sure to file this useful tidbit away for the future.

“Where we going?” Tyler wonders out loud.

“You’ll see soon.”

“I need my beauty sleep. Wake me up when we get there.” Dylan mumbles stretching out in the backseat.

The tension that was once in the car has disappeared and you decide to lean your head back and rest as well. You actually get some shut eye but it’s rudely interrupted by a panicked hand shaking you.

“Is this…is that a lake?” Tyler’s shocked reaction continues as he whips his head around to look at everything we drive by.

“You’re a smart one.” You deadpan.

“But…”

“Shhh. Don’t wake Dylan up yet.” You whisper as Vic turns onto a long dirt road that leads to the house you picked out.

Tyler’s eyes are now bugging out of his skull and he looks ready to jump out of the moving car. For the love of god. These guys are so friggin high maintenance.

Once the car is thrown into park, you gingerly exit through the passenger side door. Tyler follows suit and waves you over to move away from the car. This should be good.

“This is a lake house!” Tyler does his best to keep his voice low while gesturing around wildly.

“And? You said he likes being by the water.”

“The ocean, Y/N. Don’t play stupid. I vetoed the lake house idea. They remind Dyl of the one his family had growing up. He refuses to go near one.”

“Yes I’m aware.” You shrug casually.

“Are you insane?”

“Probably. Regardless Dylan needs to face this shit, Tyler. Clearly the way he’s been coping isn’t working for him.”

“I know but…”

“O’Brien is a grown man. He can handle it…he’ll have to.”

“What the fuck?!” Oh shit. The beast is awake. You twirl around to see Dylan fuming as he takes in his tranquil surroundings.

“Welcome to your new place of residence.” You saunter over to him, pretending that rage isn’t painted on his features. Normally you’d be intimidated as fuck but you’re still too half asleep to care right now.

“You’ve gone too far, L/N. I’m officially done with this bullshit. You’re fired.” He seethes through gritted teeth.

“Nope. Tyler hired me.” You counter with sly smile.

“Oh he’s fired too.” Dylan shoots back before laying his whiskey brown eyes on his manger.

“You’re fired!” He loudly shouts at Tyler before turning his gaze to his driver.  

“And you’re fired!” The rockstar points at Vic then starts to furiously pace back and forth.

“Dylan…”

“Everyone’s fired!” He barks practically stomping the hard ground with his work boot.

“And here I thought you were gonna overreact.” You smirk knowingly. “Thanks for proving me wrong, O’Brien."

~

Masterlist 

#dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien x reader #dylan o'brien au #dylan o'brien fanfiction #rockstar!dylan #rockstar au #dylan obrien au #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien #teen wolf rpf #teen wolf au #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf fanfiction #dylan o'brien imagine #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinksi x reader #stiles stilinski au #stiles x reader #dylan x reader #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles stilinski fanfiction #mitch rapp x reader #dave hodgman x reader #stuart twombly x reader #stiles stilinski reader insert #dylan o'brien reader insert #mitch rapp reader insert

[god--baby]

chasing after dreams ch 4 (nsfw)

poly bowers gang x ambiguously gendered reader

masterpost

previously on: you talk more with the hot teacher. he gives you his number. you and patrick go for a midnight walk and come to an agreement. patrick has a bad day. you hang out with the boys.

summary: you talk to the hot teacher on the phone. you go to a party, and vic has what patrick’s having. things go to shit. the teacher picks you up. you get yourself a daddy. also jerking off, no pants, and henry’s temper. 

word count: 3956

tag list: @heckstetter @bowersbeloved @surahbow @cordysblog @purplezebra68 @frostwolfie2936 @not-uh-author @paulslefttesticle @sarah-bow-beara @daddyyourembarassingme @marsieparsie @tonguepopperr @daddywise-issues @bisexualbitchbabe @forevermore-fanatic @cutegoat-boy @emobabygirlsworld

The next night, around eight, you called Mr. Cleaver.

“Hello, this is John,” he said on the other end.

“John,” you said, rolling over onto your stomach, feet in the air.

“Oh, it’s you,” he said. He sounded satisfied.

“Yeah, it’s me. You told me to call. I called.”

“How’s it feel?”

“Hm?”

“How’s it feel to do what you’re told?”

“Good,” you said. “Surprisingly, when sex may come of it, I’m very good at following orders. Very good.”

“Mm. I’m somehow glad to hear it.”

You kicked your feet.

“You sound relaxed,” you said.

“I am. I have my whiskey, nowhere to be. Nothing to do.”

“And you have me.”

“And I’m not afraid of anyone hearing us. Is there anyone on your end who could hear us?”

“No,” you lied. Your parents were in the house, but they were ignoring you. It may as well have not been a lie.

“Mm. What are you up to?”

“I just got done hanging out with the boys.”

“Your boys.”

“My boys,” you agreed.

The weight of the last kiss Patrick had frantically pressed to your lips haunted you. You didn’t want to be thinking of him, not now.

“Is this the part where you ask me what I’m wearing?” you joked when he said nothing.

He laughed. “What are you wearing?”

You looked down at your chest. You were wearing one of Belch’s Guns N Roses t-shirts, that and your underwear.

“Not pants,” you said.

He laughed again.

“I didn’t figure you for someone who’d wear pants if they didn’t have to,” he admitted.

You smiled. It was so true.

“And what are you wearing, John?”

“Also not pants.”

“Ooh,” you said.

“I like it,” he said. “I like it when you call me by my name.”

“Just when I don’t throw it at you like acid,” you pointed out.

“Mm. That’s very true.”

You sighed.

“What are you thinking about right now?” he asked.

“How bad I want to suck your dick.”

“Ah. Well.”

“Don’t get shy on me,” you said. “You gave me your number.”

“I can’t say I haven’t thought about it,” he said.

“Oh, yeah?” you asked, grinning. “You think about how I’d feel wrapped around you?”

“I mostly think about your face. How you’d look, going down on me.”

Your phone beeped and you pulled it away from your face. Vic was on the other end.

You sighed.

“What?” Mr. Cleaver asked.

“Vic’s on the other line.”

“Mm. More trouble.”

That made you smile.

“Yeah, he is. I — I should go.”

“Yes, you should. I’m sorry I gave you my number. It was a very rash decision that I shouldn’t have made,” he said.

“Hey,” you said. “I wanted this. I want you. Don’t be sorry. I think about you all the time.”

You could hear him smile when he said, “I can say the same to you.”

“Well, bye.”

“Goodbye. Sleep well.”

“You too, John.”

You hung up with him and picked up Vic’s call, ready to tear him a new one.

“Jesus, Vic, I was talking to Cleaver,” you bitched.

“Like I fucking care,” he snapped.

“Well, fuck you. What’s up?”

“I wanna know what’s going on between you and Patrick.”

You flushed.

“What do you mean?” you asked softly.

“You know,” he said, “exactly what I mean.”

“No, I don’t think I do.”

“The way he looks at you, now. There’s something different. Are you fucking him?”

You rolled over onto your back, looking at your ceiling fan, sighing.

“No, Vic. I’m not fucking him.”

“Like I’ll believe that. I’m not stupid, sweetheart.”

The way he said it, pulling out Patrick’s special nickname for you like he was throwing a bucket of ice water over you, made you suck in a breath.

“Vic, seriously. We’re not fucking.”

“Uh huh. You tell me, right now, what the fuck is going on. I’ll leave you alone.”

“That’s a damn lie. You’re like a fucking pit bull. You never let anything go.”

“Don’t forget that’s part of why you love me.”

You closed your eyes. He was more right than he knew.

“You really want to know?” you asked.

“Yes.”

“You can’t tell anyone.”

He sighed. “Fine. Whatever. Just fucking tell me.”

“We kissed. We’ve kissed. A lot.”

He was silent for a moment, and you could just imagine that vicious smile he had.

“Well,” he said. “You got some shitty taste.”

“Fuck you,” you groaned.

It was nice to tell someone, for it not to be some huge secret. But now, you guessed, it was an even bigger secret — just adding one more person who knew.

You, Patrick, and now Vic.

“Why?” he asked.

“I — we went for a walk, you know how we do when we can’t sleep. And I kissed him. It was a stupid thing. Really fucking dumb. I told him not to tell anyone, and he said he wouldn’t if he could kiss me when we’re alone.”

He laughed.

“Well, I don’t know what you expected,” he said.

“I don’t know what I did, either,” you said, half miserable.

As wonderful as being able to kiss one of your boys was, you were terrified.

“Well, I hope you know you dug a grave for yourself,” he said.

“What?” you asked. “You jealous, Vicky?”

“Fuck no,” he barked.

That sounded like a yes, but you decided to let it go. It was probably just your imagination running away with you, anyway.

“What I meant was,” he said, voice softer, “you better hope and pray Henry doesn’t find out.”

You sighed again.

“I know,” you said. “He’d fucking freak out.”

“Yeah, he would. Well, I gotta go. Sleep and shit.”

“You’re gonna sleep? This early?”

“Well, I’m gonna get high first.”

You laughed. That sounded more reasonable.

“Wish I was there,” you said.

“Yeah, you do,” he said.

“Bye.”

“Bye. Go back to romancing Cleaver.”

You laughed again.

“Fuck you,” you said.

You hung up.

You didn’t call Mr. Cleaver back.

You went to sleep early.

The week flew by in calls, in kisses, in secrets. Now that Vic knew, he gave you knowing looks a lot. You wished he’d stop.

The times Patrick spent with his thumb to his bottom lip — telling you he wanted to kiss you but couldn’t — were more often than not. It made your stomach grow tight, tight, tighter each time.

You wanted to kiss him, too. Desperately.

And though your focus was on him, now, you still wanted all of them.

Desperately.

You continued having the dream. It even invaded your naps. You fell asleep between a breakfast shift — where Mr. Cleaver had shown up, and you’d talked about nothing important, knowing you could really talk on the phone — and when you needed to get ready for a party, and you had the dream. It changed. It started with Patrick this time. Bruising kisses, teeth clacking together, his hands pulling you so close you couldn’t breathe.

You woke up, gasping and terribly turned on, right when Belch was pushing you down on a bed, going to kneel between your spread legs.

You got up, shrugging it off and getting ready for the party. Your usual — heavy boots and tight pants. You wore one of Patrick’s shirts, tucking the front in and letting the back hang. You knew he’d like it, seeing himself on you.

You took Mr. Cleaver’s ring off and hung it by a chain around your neck. It felt like the spoils of war — something to show how far you’d gotten, how much progress you’d made. How close you were to something happening.

The guys picked you up and you all went into the party. You got drunk as fast as you could, doing shots and drinking the punch.

When you were sufficiently drunk, you felt a hand on your elbow. You looked down at it, then up over your shoulder.

Patrick.

“What d’you want?” you asked.

“You know exactly what I want, sweetheart,” he said, thumb to his bottom lip.

You sighed.

“Let’s find somewhere,” you said.

And you did.

You didn’t know you’d been followed until you closed the door behind you, and it opened right back up again.

Vic.

“I want in,” he said, closing the door behind you.

“Fuck you,” said Patrick.

“No,” said Vic. “But I could.”

You were so drunk, you didn’t even care. You were so drunk, it may as well happen.

You held your arms out, and Vic went into them. You kissed him, once, lightly, on the lips, ending with a short kitten lick.

“Happy?” you asked.

“No,” he said, pulling you close. “Not until I have what Patrick’s having.”

Patrick stood to the side, arms crossed over his chest.

“How about,” you slurred, “how about you kiss Patrick for me?”

He grinned.

“What d’you say, Pat? Wanna kiss me?”

“No,” said Patrick.

It sounded like yes.

“C’mon,” you said. “You can do it. I won’t tell anyone.”

“You’re so drunk you don’t remember your own name,” he said, that predatory smile on his face. “I doubt you’d remember not to tell anyone.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” you said.

His eyes went hard for a second, remembering your first kiss.

He leaned in and kissed you, hard, one hand on your jaw, holding you in place. Then he pulled off and kissed Vic, softer, hesitant.

When he was done with Vic, you kissed Vic. Patrick went to stand right behind him, and you took turns kissing them. Vic, Patrick, Vic again. It got more frantic as you went on. God, you were getting turned on just by doing this. You were getting what you’d always wanted — at least, half of it.

The door opened, and you pulled back, cheeks burning.

It was Henry, some little piece of ass hanging off his arm.

“What the hell,” he said, anger picking up speed, “is this?”

“Henry, I —” you said, pulling away from the boys. Patrick put his arms around Vic’s stomach, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“No. No fucking excuses. What the fuck is going on?” he asked.

“I —” you started.

Patrick interrupted you.

“We’re making out,” he said. “You fucking mind leaving us to it?”

“Hell no,” said Henry. Then he said to the girl hanging off him without looking at her, “get lost.”

She did, pouting.

Henry came into the room, closing the door behind him.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked you, pulling you farther away from the boys, both hands on your shoulders. “It isn’t enough to whore around with anyone with two legs, you gotta start with our guys, too?”

“Fuck you, Henry,” you said, starting to get pissed. “I can do what I want.”

“Not if it affects the group,” he said. “Not this.”

“What, are you jealous or something?” you asked, furious.

“Fuck no,” he said.

You pushed him, both hands on his chest.

“Fuck you, whore,” he spat.

“Fuck you, Henry. It wasn’t hurting anyone.”

You turned to Patrick and kissed him, hard, furious.

Then you pulled back. Henry’s face was unreadable.

“I’m leaving,” you said.

“Don’t expect us to give you a ride,” he said.

“I wouldn’t want it even if it was an option,” you spat.

You stalked downstairs, taking one last shot before you stomped out of the house.

You stood at the curb, thinking.

Then, you took out your phone and called.

“Hello?” came a sleepy voice from the other end.

“John,” you said, voice as soft as you could make it.

“What’s going on? Can’t sleep?”

“No, I — I want you to pick me up.”

“Oh. Where can I find you?”

You grinned.

“Meet me at the corner of Maple and Hayfield.”

“Okay. I’ll be there soon.”

You walked slowly, stumbling, getting there in five minutes. A car was already there, and the open window showed you Mr. Cleaver’s worried face.

You got in the car, not looking at him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “What happened?”

“I —” you said. Your voice was a little bit slurred, and you shook your head, trying to steady yourself. “I got in a fight. Henry.”

“Mm.”

He started the car and drove off.

“Where do you live?” he asked.

“I’ll go to your place,” you said.

“No, you won’t. You’re absolutely drunk.”

“C’mon, John,” you said, putting one hand on his thigh, high up. “Don’t you want me in your bed?”

He shook his head but didn’t move your hand.

“Not like this. I want you to be fully cognizant.”

“Cognizant,” you repeated, voice soft.

It reminded you of Belch. Of statutory rape and incorrigible, the words he’d pulled seemingly out of nowhere to describe you. To describe your actions.

“Yes. Where do you live?”

“On Mayhew street.”

“Mm.”

You rode in silence.

“I — I kissed Patrick,” you said. “And Vic. And Henry found us. And he got mad.”

“Is this a confession?”

“I guess. I’m — I’m such a whore.”

He was silent for a long moment. Then:

“I wouldn’t say that. I’d say you’re young with quite an appetite.”

“I guess.”

“Did it feel good?” he asked. “Did you want it?”

You looked him over. He was worried, still.

“Yeah,” you said. “I wanted it.”

“Not just because you’re drunk.”

“Not just because I’m drunk. Patrick and I — we’ve. Had this thing. An arrangement, I guess.”

“I see.”

You pulled up to your street, and you told him which house was yours.

He parked at the curb. He said nothing.

You leaned up and kissed his cheek.

When you pulled up, he touched his face, surprised.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“For being my knight in shining armor,” you said. “For picking me up. For listening to me. For not judging me.”

“I can’t judge you,” he said. “I — for god’s sake, I want to fuck one of my students.”

You grinned, could feel Patrick’s smile on your lips.

“You want to fuck me?” you asked.

Then you took a chance, unbuckling yourself and climbing into his lap, straddling him.

“How bad do you wanna fuck me?” you asked.

He swallowed, avoiding your eye.

“Look at me,” you said, taking his chin in your hand, pulling his face until he had no choice but look you in the eye. “Tell me. How bad. Do you want. To fuck me?”

“It’s —” he said — “it’s all I think about.”

You pressed a short kiss to his lips.

“We can’t do this here,” he breathed.

“We can do whatever we want, wherever we want,” you said.

“You’re drunk,” he said.

“And tomorrow, I’ll be sober, and I’ll still want you,” you said.

Hesitant, he put his big hands on your waist. You ground down on him, and he held back a gasp. He was already hard under you, and it made you smile.

“You want me,” you teased. “You want me. How do you want me, hm?”

“I —”

“You want me on top? Riding you nice and slow?”

He swallowed again.

“Or do you want me under you? So small and so eager.”

“Listen,” he started.

You cut him off.

You leaned in and whispered in his ear. “You want me so bad, daddy. I know you do.”

You ended it with a short nip to his earlobe.

When you pulled back, he had his eyes closed. He was breathing hard.

“You like that,” you teased. “You wanna be my daddy?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want. I don’t fuck anyone when they’re drunk,” he said. “It’s just not right.”

“You could fuck me,” you said, grinding down on him, a nice and slow circle.

“I could,” he said. “But I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

You kissed him, hard. Surprised, he didn’t respond for a long moment, then, finally, he kissed you back. You slid your tongue into his mouth. He groaned, pulling you back by the hair. You pushed your head back into his hand.

“Do that again,” you said.

“No,” he said.

“No?” you asked.

“No. You’re drunk. I want you to go inside and drink some water and go to bed.”

“I want to go to bed with you,” you said, gearing up to a whine.

“Be good for me,” he said.

You blushed.

“You want that? You want to be good for me, don’t you?” he asked.

“Can I at least blow you?” you asked.

“No.”

You reached down, unbuckling his belt and pushing your hand into his pants quickly, so quickly he obviously didn’t know what you were doing for a moment. You softly stroked at his hard cock for a moment before he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you away.

“Be good,” he said.

“No,” you said. “You don’t want me because I’m good. You want me because I’m a slut, and I want you, and —”

“I want you to go. Now. Go inside, drink some water, take two ibuprofens, and go to bed.”

You kissed him again, and he pulled your hair, hard.

“Go inside, now,” he said.

“What happens if I say no, daddy?”

He pushed you off his lap, and you went, pouting. Then, he got out of the car, walking to your side and opening the door, pulling you out with one hand on your wrist.

He pulled you up the walk to your porch. You stood there, dumbfounded.

You’d never been told no before. No one said no when you wanted to fuck them.

No one.

He zipped up his pants and redid his belt.

You got on your toes to kiss him again, and he sighed. Sighed, like the world was on his shoulders.

“What?” you asked, pushing up against him.

He put his hands on your ass, pulling you closer.

“I want to do this,” he said, gently. “Just not right now. I want to do this right.”

“No one wants to do this right,” you said.

And you were struck by how correct you were. People did this, right or wrong be damned. People fucked you, right and wrong forgotten.

“I do,” he said.

He kissed you on the cheek, and you touched your face, where his lips had been just heartbeats before.

“Now, go to bed. Be good for daddy,” he said.

You grinned.

“I knew you liked that,” you said.

“I do. Be good.”

He took a step away from you, and then turned back to you. You rushed in and kissed him again, on your toes, arms around his neck. He groaned.

“I’m gonna touch myself and think of you,” you said, lips brushing his. “Think about your dick, you inside me.”

He swallowed again.

“Go to bed.”

“Yes, daddy.”

You went to the door, unlocking it and watching as he walked back to his car. He gave you a wave, and then drove away.

You went inside, getting a glass of water, taking two ibuprofens, going up to your bedroom.

You pulled your boots off, and then stripped until you were completely naked.

You looked at your phone.

You had three messages.

1:05am. From: Vic

Henry’s pissed. I left too

1:30am. From: Patrick

Come to mine after work tomorrow

1:35am. From: Patrick

Vic will be there

You didn’t respond to either of them.

You laid down on your bed, on your back, thinking about Mr. Cleaver. John. His hands on your waist, your ass, his hand pulling your hair.

God, he had such big hands. You slipped two fingers into yourself, thinking about what it would feel like to have his fingers inside you. His cock. You’d touched it, though his underwear had been covering it. But it was thick, and probably long, and god. God, you wanted him inside you.

Unwelcome, Patrick and Vic slid into your mind. You watched the memory of them kissing, eyes shut tight. You tried to push it away, but it stayed, playing over and over.

Then, you thought of Henry.

Henry, who knew, now. Henry, who’d been so mad he’d been spitting at you. Who’d been so mad, he’d practically shaken you, trying to get you to see the error of your ways.

God, but you wanted him, too. You wondered what it would be like, to have him in on it, the way Vic was, now. You imagined him kissing Vic, kissing Patrick. How pushy he would be, how violent even a kiss from him would be. There was nothing soft about him, and fuck if that just made you want him more.

You reached up and pinched one of your nipples, rolled it between your fingers, thinking about Belch. If he didn’t know, he’d know soon. Henry wasn’t the type to keep things from him.

You wondered what he thought. If it turned him on, maybe, thinking of you with your boys. With Patrick and Vic. You imagined him jerking himself off, thinking about you with them. How he’d look, moving one hand on his dick, eyes shut and mouth open, gasping.

You came with a moan, one hand over your mouth. You got up, went to the bathroom, and cleaned yourself up.

When you went back to your room, your phone lit up for just a second.

You picked it up.

2:05am. From: John

Are you being good for daddy?

Instead of shooting off a response, you called him.

He picked up.

“There you are,” he said.

“Here I am. Being very good for you, daddy.”

“You had some water?”

“Yeah. And a couple ibuprofens. And I touched myself.”

“What did you think about?”

“You,” you said. You gulped in a breath of air, making yourself be brave. “And my boys.”

“Mm.”

“I just wanted to hear your voice,” you said. “This night sort of turned to shit.”

“I’m glad you asked for my help,” he said.

“I’m glad you helped me, even if you wouldn’t fuck me.”

You could hear him smiling when he said, “I will. Just not tonight.”

“Will you,” you said, taking another breath, “will you touch yourself and think of me?”

“Of course.”

“Okay. Do you — do you mind talking to me until I fall asleep?”

“What should I talk about?”

You smiled, sleepy.

“Tell me about your house. Where do you live?”

“I live in an apartment, actually. With a golden retriever.”

“What’s its name?”

“Lydia. She’s a very good girl, and I’ve had her for five years.”

“Lydia,” you repeated. “Pet her for me.”

He laughed quietly.

“I will. I’m in my bedroom right now, and she’s laying on the bed next to me. She sleeps in my bed with me unless I have a guest.”

“Do you have guests often?”

He knew what you were asking. You were asking if he got laid a lot.

“Not that often. It’s been a while.”

“Mm. What does your bedroom look like?”

“It’s white. I have art hanging on the walls, by a local artist whose work I’ve fallen in love with. I sleep on a king bed with green sheets and a blue comforter. There are two bedside tables, two lamps, and an armchair in the corner. I usually read before I go to bed, have a glass of whiskey if I feel like I deserve it.”

“You deserve it tonight,” you said, slowly, eyes fluttering closed. Your eyelids were so heavy, you couldn’t lift them.

“As a matter of fact, I do. I’m having a glass right now.”

“Mm.”

“You’re very sleepy, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I’m always sleepy after I come,” you said.

“Good. You can go to sleep, now. I won’t mind.”

“Daddy?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Go to sleep, now.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

You hung up and put your phone down on the bed next to your pillow, drifting off to sleep.

#poly bowers gang #the bowers gang #patrick hockstetter x reader #vic criss x reader #henry bowers x reader #belch huggins x reader #reader x oc #mine

[cvenir]

imma try this again bc i said y’know fck it (heh) bc i need to introduce these characters before making proper bios ok here we go

so actually since i did do zella, felix, and gwenna’s bios, i’ll actually just leave them out of the intro bc like.... i have 8 more lmao so like here you can find their bios in the first three circles n also imma link all the pinterests aGAIN bc they probably do more than i can

these are gonna be crude n real cut n dry but let’s face it who has time to read everything abt all 11 ok this is for US

CHRISTOPHER ‘KIT’ MILLER looks an awful lot like DONALD GLOVER. HE is THIRTY-TWO and while they’re MAGNETIC, they have a tendency to get pretty MERCENARY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DEGAS PARK by KEVIN ABSTRACT.

ok so kit is my son !! he is kinda a shitty person but it’s a result of his upbringing entirely like he was raised in a household of self-obsession and pre-occupation with the material things. aka he’s like filthy rich bc his parents are well-known in the entertainment business

his father is a rlly big time actor like he is thaT GUY ( my star wars lovin ass likes to pretend he’s billy dee williams bc lando unite but anyway unrelated ) and his mother is a super awesome film director so he grew up with that hanging over his shoulders. his dad was always really hard on him and pushed him to become an actor too but he isn’t abt that life (only to spite his dad lbr)

also his parents were lke actively trying not to have kids so his dad always kinda held that against kit and resented him from day one meanwhile his mother embraced it so :/

his mom is everything he ever dreamed of in a mother, and even tho she was always a bit too busy for him, she never let it affect their relationship and they’re still very close

so yeah kit is that fancy ass man like he bathes in the opulence. he doesn’t do much but gamble and parade his wealth around –– except he has invested in many businesses so like he can be p serious n focused on that sometimes bc like

$$$$

also he loves his ladies. like a lot. pls someone allow him to be the suGAR DADDY WE ALL DESERVE!!! but fr no that’s his biggest downfall like in his song inspo he can get very caught up in his emotions and rlly lose his head bc like he is calm cool and calculating and distant for the most part but once he gets attached it’s like he craves the connection and he can get very lost

anyway also bring me a plot where they may have grown up together and he’s very defensive over them like he doesn’t always get close to people but this person means the world to him and maybe he’s been lowkey in love his whole life but like whatever who talks abt feelings n ruins something so special he could never

yeah so idk what more to say at this point so yeah hmu w questions bc i could probably go off again

ROSALIND LEPAGE looks an awful lot like ADELAIDE KANE. SHE is TWENTY-FOUR and while they’re RESILIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty QUIXOTIC You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to MELTING by KALI UCHIS. 

okay now this is my baby. she is a sweet lil buttercup and only wants the best in life but it never comes to her ugh i’m wounded.

so she was born and raised in kola, v much small-town girl vibes. she absolutely loves it here but since growing up the town was really been stained by disappointment :/ when she was seventeen both of her parents like went missing just like completely disappeared leaving her and her six-year-old sister just completely alone which really fucked up her plans bc she was already accepted to a top-tier music school in new york for college for her passion for violin but she had to turn it down bc her sister was now her responsibility 

so she dropped out of highschool and got her ged and immediately entered the work force, leaving her dreams in the dust. she still plays every now and then, especially whenever there’s an open mic night at the coffee shop where she works like girl plugs in her amp n everything i love her

anyway like she doesn’t resent anyone or blame her sister bc she’s just so compassionate and selfless like she didn’t hesitate to change her life to support her sis but it does still kill her to know that her life just kinda never took off and probs never will. but now she just channels all that sadness into fighting to make sure her sister doesn’t end up stuck like she did

so yeah she’s just a huge sweetheart who loves doing things for others and she’s so so soft like someone hold my lil muffin :/ she can get way too caught up in dreams sometimes but y’know that’s life!!!

DIEGO CABRERA looks an awful lot like XAVIER SERRANO. HE is TWENTY-THREE and while they’re VIVACIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty ERRATIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DO IT AGAIN by NO ROME.

so one of the messiest children ever, he is here. ngl i got a lot of inspo from adam sackler from girls for my son diego so if u feel me, word. 

basically pls meet the world’s biggest narcissist –– he’s just like appalling sometimes but he really is trying his best. my boi grew up in kola and always planned on moving to LA to pursue his dream of being an actor and wow is he perfect for that bc my guy is the most dramatic and expressive hot mess you’ll ever find

his mind is always moving 100 miles a minute and he just says the craziest things ??? like he doesn’t know where to stop. diego is super passionate abt his own life and what he wants to do and what he believes; he won’t let you forget it either. he’s always here to share a piece of his mind whether you want it for not and he’s not afraid to turn people away bc his opinions are valid !!

like he’s sooo selfish and doesn’t even hide his own agenda, but ngl once you get him attached there’s no going back like he really gives everything his all and will devote anything it takes to procure happiness for those he loves

like he’s rrlly terrible but he truly has a good head on his shoulders and a good heart in his chest n it’ll beat for u rll hard if u earn it (thru his means ofc)

like when i say god complex i mean it

but c’mon pls give me the plot where like this person pined after him for such a fuckin long time and he legit only used them for sex n didn’t even hide it (like fr seconds after rolling over he said ‘so are you gonna leave now ? bye) bUT y’know they’ve been hooking up for so long to where he actually got invested and wanted them to come to his rehearsals and share his passion w them and they just like ..... stopped caring all of a sudden. so now he’s sad boi and mad boi bc after basically begging for him to give a fuck they up and ran when his heart got invOLVED LIKE FUCK ME fr this is the song and i need this connection pLS LOVE ME

anyway he’s a mess but i love him

PIPER KOVALSKY looks an awful lot like EMMY ROSSUM. SHE is TWENTY-SEVEN and while they’re NURTURING, they have a tendency to get pretty CALAMITOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to COFFEE & CIGARETTES by VIC MENSA.

awhh pipes.... my poor bb. she is also quite the mess!! 

but lbr it’s all her fucking fault lmao like her life literally never took off but she has no one to blame but herself. like she just really has a talent for ruining things whenever they get good and she doesn’t even try too my bb just does not think abt ramifications ever

piper was also born and raised in kola but she’s hopped around from area to area bc she can’t keep a lease going to save her life

or a job

she’s a big fan of cigareetes and alcohol and partying but whenever she indullges in anything they kinda have a perfect way of getting her in trouble. like she really wants to stop living like a vagrant but her cyncicsm really gets her down so she barely tries

she has a few siblings that she really wants to protect bc they’re headed down her path as well but she can’t even keep her life straight ugh :/

but ok so she’s truly the biggest softie on the inside like she cares soooo fucking much and she does a terrible job at pretending she doesn’t. but ya girl still tries!

ok so time for me to go off abt a wanted connect!!!! so her song is coffee & cigarettes and it’s a bop find it here pLS and i just really feel in my bones that this should be a connection ok. give me that high school lovers that were never lovers bc all piper could focus on was her own self-destruction n rlly living it up so she just completely shut this person out when it finally became real :/ so yeah it’s a fucking mess and she’s never truly moved on

anyway i should probably move onto the next muse lmao

MALCOLM WEST looks an awful lot like REECE KING. HE is TWENTY-TWO and while they’re JOCULAR, they have a tendency to get pretty CAVALIER. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to EPITAPH by HIPPO CAMPUS. –––––– may or may not be inspired by jake peralta

when i say he’s a goofster i mean he is a goofster and a gaffster ok

my tiny son who just wants to be a big bad detective and fight crime and just crack jokes along the way he is the meme king and he’ll let you know it

he grew up in atlanta where both of his parents were cops so he really just always dreamed of being just like them one day 

until his dad told him he’d never make it. that crushed his spirit entirely and ever since then he really kinda just figured out who his dad was ?? he caught him cheating on his mom and also just being a dirty cop and it just broke his heart bc that was his hero. and y’know malcolm gooddoer and fighter for justice so he went to his mom with this discovery and she just kind of admitted that she knew abt all of it but couldn’t do anything abt it so... he just kinda left and moved to kola to start over

he entered the police academy there as soon as he possibly could (18 i think maybe 19 if i’m dumb ) and just did not stop working his ass off and doing all kinds of paperwork and bust until he finally reached detective just a week ago

don’t get me wrong ya boi hates paperwork but he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do !!

anyway he’s a clown but he loves life and and even tho he’s a child he can take some things seriously

aside from his true feeling heh who ?? i don’t know her n imma just tell a joke or do an impression or smth instead

alsO idk if anyone knows chew the comic series but he dEF IS GONNA HAVE THOSE POWERS FOR THE SUPERHERO/SUPERNATURAL THREAD stay tuned

CAMBRIA SONG looks an awful lot like JENNIE KIM. SHE is TWENTY-ONE and while they’re IDEALISTIC, they have a tendency to get pretty WHIMSICAL. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to MARCELINE by WILLOW.

ok first of all her pinterest is a whole ass aesthetic and u basically see everything she’s abt on there 10/10 would reccommend

now this is a smol bean that is also a bad bitch and we stan !! she’s your astrology loving, extra ass, witty lil witch and she loves adding in her two cents! she’s a sweet lil thing but her bite is bigger than her bark so watch out fr

mostly imma have her in the supernatural verse (witch heh heh), demi-god verse (u kno she’s hecate’s daughter), n maybe the horror verse bc i want my bb to be a medium like lorraine warren that’s my girl!! 

other than that catch her throwing out ur natal chart, charging n cleansing her cyrstals, n offering free tarot readings! really she has her mf shit together n loves helping ppl w spiritual awakenings ok

here is a pic of her two sides conversing ok big meme here

anyway i’m a big fan of her pinterest and i hope that gives everyone a good vibe for her bc tbh i’m tired lol

so imma do my other three muses in another post tomorrow bc !!! ya girl is feeling lazy now lmao sry this took so long geez

#round two here we go #i have a good amount of wanted connects in here so thank god for that #fckit:intro #i used the wrong tag i love myself

[henreybowers-blog]

Don’t You Want Me? | Henry Bowers Smut

It was no secret that messing with the Bowers’ Gang was pretty much the same thing as signing your own death warrant but, unlike the rest of Derry, you weren’t scared of them. Sure, you had heard the stories, but you had one thing that no one else did - Henry was completely and utterly whipped for you. Of course, you kept your distance. Boys like Henry were a bad influence and your hopes for the future were high. Yet, despite everything your brain was telling you, you couldn’t help but tease Henry at any chance you got.

As captain of the cheer squad (it looked good on college applications), you often found yourself wearing the uniform which included a short black skirt. You knew you were attractive - that was no secret - and the skimpy little uniform was enough to drive Henry wild.

You were wearing it today. You swung your butt rhythmically as you sauntered out of the main doors. You’d stayed late for practice, but you knew Henry would be there. Him and his friends were quite often hanging around the school, usually in hopes of beating the crap out of some poor unsuspecting kid.

When you saw him, though, he was alone. Belch and Vic and Patrick were nowhere to be seen. He was leaning casually against a wall by the side of the building, legs crossed and his arms folded. He looked you up and down, menace glinting in his eyes.

“Hey there, princess,” he said, voice laced with a sinister humour.

“Fuck off, Bowers,” you told him, but you couldn’t help but grin.

He grabbed your arm and pulled you towards him.

“You know, Y/N,” he whispered in your ear. “I should kick the shit out of you.”

“What?”

“Don’t act so naive,” he licked his lips. “I know what you’ve been doing. Walking around the halls with your ass hanging out of that skirt, begging to be fucked. Well guess what?”

Without warning he pulled you around and flung you against the wall, placing his hands at either side of your shoulders so you couldn’t get out. You winced - your back would have bruises on it tomorrow.

“What?” You glared at him.

“I’m gonna give you exactly what you want.”

With that, he grabbed your skirt and ripped it off, tearing it down the back. You gasped and thanked God you had a change of clothes in your bag.

“Henry!” you hissed. “Someone could see.”

“Shut up,” he commanded, jaw clenching.

He pulled your panties down your legs and spread them open a little. You stood there, in shock and delight, as he started to lick furiously at your clit. You moaned softly at the sudden contact and let your back arch as he shoved a long, slender finger into you. He pumped fast in a come-hither motion and you felt yourself shaking with lust. You hadn’t realised how much you wanted this but now, with him snacking on your pussy like it was all he’d eaten in weeks, you had never been so wet and racked with pleasure.

He added in another finger, and another, and soon your orgasm washed over you. He didn’t stop though, and you became so weak from overstimulation that you collapsed onto him. He grabbed hold of your shirt and forced you to your knees.

“I want you to finger yourself while you suck my cock,” he said. “Do you understand?”

You nodded.

“I said do you understand, bitch?” he spat.

“Yes, daddy,” you nodded.

He smirked at the name and undid his belt.

“God, you really are a slut.”

Upon dropping his jeans, you were able to see how massive his dick was. It must’ve been nine inches. You’d never taken a cock that big before, especially not in your mouth. Nevertheless, you licked the tip with an eager tongue and wrapped a hand around it. With your other hand you slipped a couple of fingers into your pussy and started to fingerfuck yourself.

Henry groaned as you began to bob your head up and down on his thick, rock hard cock. He took your hair in his hands and pushed his length deeper into your mouth until it reached your throat. You gagged a little but let it happen, still pleasuring yourself in the meantime.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he growled. “Guzzle my cock.”

You had to admit - you loved having him in your mouth. It felt so good knowing that you were the cause of the pants and moans coming from his mouth, as well as the precum oozing down your throat. He whined and threw his head back.

“Fuck,” he said. “I’m gonna cum, Y/N. Swallow it for me. Swallow my thick load.”

You did as he said. His cum was salty and not very appetising, but the look on his face as you swallowed it made up for the displeasing taste.

“Get up and bend over,” he demanded.

You did, waiting in anticipation as he rubbed his cock against your entrace, indulging in the juices leaking from your pussy. With one sharp movement, his entire member was burrowed deep inside you. You yelled out in ecstacy.

He began to fuck you, leaving no time to adjust. He was fast and his thrusts were hard and rhythmic. He grabbed your shoulders and dug his nails into them for balance. You thought they might bleed, but you couldn’t care less.

“Oh, God, daddy!” you squealed. “Fuck me faster!”

He increased his pace, drilling you in a way you’d never experienced. You rubbed your clit as he continued, his cock filling you up entirely. The combination of sensations caused you to cum, but Henry kept going.

“Fucking rail me until I can’t remember my name,” you moaned.

Your dirty talk was getting him close to release, and the increasing sloppiness of his thrusts alerted you of this, which in turn prompted your third climax.

“Call me daddy,” he said.

“Cum in me, daddy,” you told him. “I want your cum to spill out of my pretty little pussy.”

Those words prompted his orgasm and he called out in pleasure as he milked his cock inside of you, still thrusting as he did so.

“Thank you, daddy,” you said, exhaustion falling over you.

He pulled out and rubbed his dick in the cum that oozed from your folds. You were still wet, even after three orgasms.

“You’re welcome, princess,” he panted. “But next time you tease me like that I won’t be so nice.”

#henry bowers #bowers gang #it smut #henry bowers smut #bowers gang smut #my writing

[littlerose13writes]

The Lily Special by LittleRose13

Day 6, The 12 Days of Shipmas - Did someone spike the eggnog?🍾

In which Lily is given a lifetime kitchen ban and Albus vows to never become an actor. 

Words:2,657

Pairings: Albus/Scorpius, Teddy/Victoire, Harry/Ginny

24th December, 2026

Everyone in the family knew that Lily Potter loved board games. They also knew that Lily Potter was the most viciously competitive member of her generation. These two facts were why everyone avoided playing games with her on the off chance she lost and threw a tantrum or a hex their way.

But Christmas Eve was the exception. It was the one night of the year Lily could convince her family to play with her, and they didn’t hold back. Now Lily was no longer a child, her brothers thought she could handle losing from time to time, and they did their best to make that happen. Some rather underhanded tactics had taken place in previous years to prevent Lily from winning.

As the kids got older - and James started playing professional Quidditch and really discovered his competitive side - the gameplay became even dirtier. With the addition of alcohol in more recent years, Potter Christmas Eve Game Night was really quite something to behold.

Of course Teddy had always been part of Game Night too, and then Victoire when he married her. This year was the first year their baby twin girls were also in attendance. Albus started to bring Scorpius along from their first Christmas out of Hogwarts and living together and Scorpius enjoyed the whole thing immensely. James, ever the bachelor, was unlikely to bring anybody with him. Lily was gushing to anybody who would listen about her new boyfriend who she’d met at university, but he was a muggle and it was a very new relationship so she hadn’t brought anyone either.

“Who wants The Lily Special? I make them at uni all the time.” Lily asked her family loudly, brandishing a cocktail glass. Everybody said no, apart from Scorpius who politely asked what was in it before Albus listed the five different types of alcohol included and Scorpius shuddered.

“I can’t drink much tonight. The twins have never slept away from home before,” Teddy explained, appearing in the living room with his wife after having put their twins down to sleep in the spare room.

They were three games in, Lily was in second to last place (Harry was last because he always let Lily beat him) and she was really not enjoying herself. She was bored of being picked on by her brothers in every single game and the smug look on Albus’ face was starting to get to her.

“Next we’re playing Mandrake Mime!” Lily insisted and Albus rolled his eyes at the mention of the game which only Lily actually knew how to play.

“That game is the worst.”

“Last place always gets to choose,” Lily turned to her father, who was nursing a firewhiskey and making eyes at his wife sat beside him. “Daddy, do you choose Mandrake Mime?”

Harry looked up, confused. “What? Oh, yes definitely.”

Lily gave Albus a triumphant look. “You’re incorrigible,” he muttered as she set the game up.

“Cheer up Al, this one’s always hilarious.” Scorpius poked Albus in the side. “What was it you had to do last time?”

“I don’t remember,” he muttered.

“He had to mime eating a hot dog and didn’t understand why we were all laughing so hard at him,” Teddy put in helpfully.

“That’s you lot and your dirty minds, not my intention.” Albus held his hands up.

Lily scoffed. “Probably for the best, otherwise I’d feel sorry for Scorpius if that’s actually how you-”

“Who wants more eggnog?” Ginny quickly interrupted and offered it round. Albus was rolling his eyes at Lily and Scorpius had turned bright red. With a triumphant look, Lily shook her head and gestured to her own glass which was already full with some concoction probably containing copious amounts of vodka, knowing Lily.

Despite Al’s protests, they played Mandrake Mimeand to Lily’s delight, the withstanding ‘don’t let Lily win’ rule was sidelined in favour of ‘pick on Al’ instead. The game required each player to choose someone to act out a phrase on a card, and there was also a board and a complicated system of earning tokens, which only Lily understood.

Nobody was paying a great deal of attention to any of the rules and instead they were enjoying winding Albus up.

“Oh, it’s my turn to draw a card.” Scorpius innocently took a card from the pile and held it face down. “Let’s see, who do I choose?” He pretended to consider everybody before handing the card to a scowling Albus with a flourish. Albus was in such a bad mood by this point that Scorpius was probably the only person who could have gotten away with giving him another card.

“I’m moving out, you no longer have a housemate,” Albus said to Scorpius as he begrudgingly took the card and read it to himself. “Or a boyfriend.”

“It’s okay Scorp, you can move in with us, can’t he Dad?” Lily patted Scorpius on the shoulder.

“Any day Scorpius. You’re much tidier than Albus.” Harry grinned at Albus who was rolling his eyes but was taking the teasing well.

“Can I get this over with?” he held the card up.

“Short, scrawny potions nerd,” James yelled as soon as Albus stood up.

“Wow, Jamesy. Got it in one.” Albus threw the card down in front of his brother and fell back onto the sofa next to his boyfriend. “Can we play something different now? I’m bored of being a performing monkey.”

“This says realising you’ve forgotten your wand,” James read the card incredulously.

“Yes!” Lily drowned out everyone else. “That means I won that game!”

There was a collective groan.

Somehow the next game didn’t ever happen as the family descended into conversation and everyone was too busy drinking and talking to bother setting up another game, even Lily. Albus and Scorpius were curled up together in an armchair, not far from the sofa which Victoire was sat on with Ginny and Harry. Over on the other sofa, Lily was leaning against James and tapping at her muggle mobile phone, chatting to Teddy as she did.

Teddy’s wand, which was lying on the mantelpiece, emitted glowing sparks and the sound of a baby crying came from it. Victoire put her drink down immediately.

“If one of them wakes up, it doesn’t take long for the other one to join her,” she muttered to Ginny, rising to leave.

“I’ll do it, you stay here, Princess.” Teddy was on his feet already and he kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair lovingly. “I love you so much.”

Vic raised her eyebrows as she watched him leave.

“That was… sweet. A little over the top, but sweet.” Ginny was confused by her almost-son’s behaviour.

“He’s drunk,” said Victoire shrewdly, narrowing her eyes into the distance where Teddy had just left. “That, right there, that was drunk Teds.”

“I thought he wasn’t drinking much ‘cause of the babies?”

“So did I.” Victoire looked thoughtful. “He’s barely drank at all since we found out I was pregnant, it’s supposed to be a solidarity thing. I told him he didn’t have to but, well, you know what Teddy’s like.”

“His taking-care-of-people thing,” Ginny said proudly. “What happened tonight then? It’s not like Teddy to just abandon ship like that.

Victoire considered her question for a second and then turned in her seat. “Albus!”

He looked up from his boyfriend and grinned at her, his green eyes giving away instantly that it wasn’t only Teddy who was drunk.

“What did you give my husband to drink?” She eyed his full glass of something that looked like one of Lily’s Special Cocktails.

Albus gestured vaguely to the door that Teddy had just left through. “Your husband went that way.”

“Not really what I asked. You’re no help when you’re drunk, Al.”

He shrugged and took a sip of his drink happily. Scorpius had been listening to their exchange and luckily was able to shed light on Vic’s question where Albus had failed.

“He’s just been drinking this delicious eggnog all night. It’s not strong at all.” Scorpius was holding a glass of said eggnog precariously as he spoke and Victoire looked at him suspiciously.

“Give me that a second.” She reached for his glass and he obliged. One quick sip confirmed that Harry’s eggnog recipe certainly was strong.

“Merlin, Uncle Harry! How much rum did you put in this?” She turned to her uncle who was all kinds of confused.

“James made it this year.”

Everyone turned to look at where James was sitting and talking to Lily.

“What?” he said, looking up when he sensed so many people looking at him.

“How much alcohol did you put in this?” Ginny asked, looking confused but also like she was trying to hold back laughter.

“Did someone spike the eggnog?” James looked shocked and appalled, and grabbed Scorpius’ glass from Victoire’s hand to taste it. “Tastes fine to me. I followed Dad’s recipe exactly. Lily helped me, you saw, didn’t you Lil? I used the recipe.”

Lily didn’t respond and was looking rather shifty.

“Lily Luna Potter!” Ginny reprimanded her daughter as if she were seven, rather than eighteen. “You didn’t?”

“Come on, you have to admit it made everything more fun. Look at Scorpius.”

“Oh, hi everyone,” Scorpius said, looking pleased when he noticed so many eyes on him. He’d conjured himself a party hat which he’d been unable to convince anyone else to wear with him.

“You got Teddy drunk, Lil.” Ginny looked as if she was slightly amused by her daughter’s actions.

“He got drunk from that? When did he become such a lightweight?” Lily looked incredulous. “He’s not Scorpius.”

“Hey!” Scorpius said, offended, but then he shrugged his shoulders. “Actually, fair point.”

“You’re a cheap date,” Albus threw an arm around his shoulders and stole his party hat.

“Your idea of a lightweight isn’t on the same page as anyone else’s if your stories from freshers week are anything to go by, Lil.” Ginny rolled her eyes.

“Teds hardly ever drinks anymore, Lily,” Victoire explained calmly; she wasn’t upset by the situation because drunk Teddy just meant he was more tactile and a bit soppier than usual.

“Since he had babiesand turned boring,” Lily muttered, stirring her own drink with a straw. Victoire laughed at her words and got up to go to the kitchen and refill her drink, taking Harry’s glass with her too.

Teddy appeared in the kitchen, their daughter held firmly in his arms, one of her hands in his as he exaggeratedly danced around with her and she squealed in delight. “That’s your mummy, the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Victoire rolled her eyes and took the baby from him. “Is Clemmie still asleep?”

Teddy didn’t seem to hear her, he was still holding their daughter’s little hand and making exaggerated faces at her. “I love your mummy so much, and I love you so much.”

Victoire looked around the kitchen and lowered her voice so nobody else could hear her use his pet name. “Blue Bear, I know you’re drunk right now. Lily spiked the eggnog. I don’t mind one bit, you can stop all this.”

He smiled at her gratefully, as Pippa let go of his hand. “Thought you’d be cross with me,” he muttered, stroking the baby’s blonde hair. “S’all Al’s fault.”

“It’s actually all Lily’s fault,” Victoire replied, leading Teddy back into the living room with their baby. They were met by both Ginny and Scorpius descending on them to coo over the baby.

Ginny took her from Victoire and Scorpius held onto her little hand, waving it around and making faces at her. Baby Pippa was smiling widely at him and her smile grew even bigger when she spotted Teddy again over Scorpius’ shoulder. She reached out for him and Ginny obliged, handing the baby over to her dad where she curled into him and rested her head on his shoulder.

“She’s normally such a good sleeper,” Victoire sighed, watching her daughter.

Scorpius ended up sat on the floor with his back up against the sofa, his knees bent up and Pippa sat across his stomach happily.

“Look at her little feet, and her little toes, and her little pyjamas. Look how little she is.” Scorpius was practically in tears over how cute the lower half of baby Pippa was. He was talking to Albus, who was spread out on the sofa behind him, giving non-committal noises of comprehension every few seconds and gazing at the baby too. “She’s just so little, wow, so small. She’s like a human, but really tiny.”

“Have you done your term in the neo-natal ward yet, Scorpius?” Victoire asked him, watching her daughter giggle. Victoire was a junior Healer and she’d chosen to specialise in mental health magic; Scorpius was in his third year of Healer school and about to choose his own specialism.

“That’s my last one! I’ve got the whole paediatrics department still to go. I’ve been in Spell Damage this past term, and before that Potion Poisoning.” Scorpius turned to speak to her then immediately shifted his gaze back to the baby and started cooing over her again.

“I think you’ll enjoy it,” she laughed as Scorpius babbled away to her daughter.

“You should have seen him when he was on the Labour and Delivery ward.” Albus grinned, sitting up on the sofa behind his boyfriend. “Albus, this baby was only this big. He was so small, only this big I tell you.”

“I don’t sound like that!”

“You do a bit, love.” Albus stroked Scorpius’ shoulders and Scorpius, noticing he’d sat up, picked baby Pip up to sit beside Albus on the sofa. The baby reached curiously towards Albus and he leaned forward to take her from Scorpius. Pippa was more interested in grabbing a fistful of Al’s hair, and his neck was stuck tilted at an odd angle as she happily pulled at it.

“Your daughter’s broken my neck, Ted,” Albus laughed, his head still leant over to one side. Teddy didn’t hear him because he was curled up against his wife who was stroking his hair fondly and keeping an eye on their daughter from across the room.

Scorpius freed Al’s hair from Pippa’s grip and she looked at him reproachfully. “She’s cross with you now,” Albus observed.

“I’m sorry, Pippy. I’m quite attached to your Uncle Albus’ hair,” Scorpius told her very seriously and she giggled at him, squirming down further and settling herself across Albus’ chest.

Albus kissed the top of her head. “I think I want one, one day. A long time from now.” He spoke loud enough so that only his boyfriend could hear.

“Me too.” Scorpius rested his head on Albus’ shoulder and gazed down at the baby too. “You know I can’t give you one of these. Or did you mean with somebody else?” he said quietly.

Albus looked up at him and furrowed his brow. “Of course I meant with you.”

“Which takes me back to my original point. I can’t give you a baby, I lack certain essential components.”

Albus laughed lightly as Pippa crawled across the two of them, landing on top of Scorpius. “We’ll work something out. Imagine having one of these around all the time.”

Pippa sat up and stared at Scorpius, as if realising for the first time that he was neither of her parents. Her bottom lip trembled and she let out a piercing scream, attempting to throw herself from his lap. Scorpius’ reactions, while slower than usual, still kicked in to catch her in time, but that only made her cry more. He hastily lifted her up to deliver her back to Victoire, where she settled almost instantly.

“I think I prefer it just the two of us for now,” Scorpius sighed, throwing an arm around his intoxicated boyfriend. Albus nodded in agreement.

#12 days of shipmas #Harry Potter fanfiction #scorbus #tedtoire #hinny #Scorpius x Albus #teddy x Victoire #Harry x Ginny #12daysofshipmas #thelilyspecial #mywriting #littlerose13