#I am feeling so very weak

[soul-wanderer]

we really don't deserve them

#Station 19 #Barrett Doss #Carlos Miranda #Vic Hughes #Theo Ruiz #I am feeling so very weak #for both of them

[superhell]

house md is wild because house tells wilson that he’ll sacrifice many things but never himself and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he

#also like. this is the guy who said that 'people dont change' for the majority of his life and then when wilson is dying hes like 'i can cha #nge' its that he doesn't talk about his feelings and he cannot bear to show weakness until it seems that he is losing wilson and then #he will literally say anything to keep him its that he is shown repeatedly to be a vicodin addict and that hes destroyed relationships over #his pain and his need for vicodin but he'll give wilson his own pills and go without to make sure wilson has enough meds its that he is #old and cynical and his beliefs about humanity have been written in stone and his walls are topped with turrets and barbed wire but the gate #s fucking open for wilson time and again and wilson is the exception to the rules time and again its. so fucked up #wilson is quite literally his anchor in humanity wilson is his achilles heel wilson is his entire support system the foundations of gregory #house's life have been built around one james evan wilson from the moment he saw that twink throw a bottle into a mirror. am i making sense #here. do these words mean anything #house #wilson #hilson #house md #hatecrimes md #house is a very very carefully constructed facade and wilson is a fucking sledgehammer.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

WIFI IS MINE ONCE AGAIN as i sit on a mattress on the floor

#it feels like ive been without it for so long... #it has been... three and a half days... i am Weak.... #nah jk i wouldve been find without it for much longer #but boy howdy am i Glad to be able to use my dear beloved laptop again #i am In The New Place i am Beginning To Settle #tomorrow i begin unpacking my own stuff!!! exciting!!! #i cant wait to admire all of my Things! #ohhhh and i finally have a spot on the wall for my combo whiteboard/corkboard.... #im still very stressed and i want to lay in a hole but!! #i am doing slightly better than a few days ago! #the weather has been nice... cool and rainy... i am not used to cool and rainy #its also cold and i am - unfortunately - a desert creature #suffice to say i am wearing hand warmers a hoodie and a blanket #absolutely unprompted #the place's last owner Didnt Fucking Clean though #so there have been many spiders. and cobwebs. and general Grime we will have to scrub #like seriously today i was dusting the ceiling. THE CEILING. #had to dust & vacuum the windowsills... gonna scrub my bathroom tomorrow... #theres a large tear in my bedroom carpet too... #ugh and the cabinets are Small so organizing all the spices and shit has been Rancid #stuff has to go out of place and you cant see it all and MY ORGANIZATIONAL SYSTEMS ARE CRUMBLING #sometimes it feels like my adhd and autism are fistfighting but during a move? #lockstep babeyyyy. they are Streamlined. lots of things and lots of sorting & placing and eeheehee #i have also killed most of the freakishly huge mosquitos in the house so! things are better! #that first night was Rough! its better now! this shell is becoming a House!

[deadsetobsessions]

I am waiting for my terrible decisions to come feast upon my corpse (I had four slices of mozzarella cheese and I am wildly lactose intolerant) so tall can have this thing I wrote while my bowels attempted to curdle up and wither.

——

Jason laid face down on the floor of his safe house, cheek miserably smushed to the carpet as his joints screamed in growing agony.

“Oh, shit, you good, little wing?”

Jason groaned, not even having enough energy to flip his face to the other side as a pair of boots came into view. Dick.

“Jason, are you okay? Where’s the wound?”

“C’mon Todd, even Timothy knows the importance of addressing open wounds.” Shit, the brat was here too.

“You coming down with something?” Tim’s voice asked from his other side.

Great, Jason grumbled, the whole idiot platoon is here.

A warm hand shook his shoulder, Dick’s concerned mug showing up in Jason’s- huh, when did it get this blurry?- sight. His face scrunched up in worry.

“You look stupid.” Jason said, though it sounded more like ‘yew loo stew pud’ with his face still smushed onto the ground. Reluctantly, he added, “No wound.”

“Tim, help me out.”

Jason groaned when the world spun as Tim and Dick hefted him up.

“What’s happening, Jason? Talk to us.” Tim said sharply, knowing that the tone would get Jason to respond.

“Growing pains.” Jason mumbled. “Laz pits side effects.”

“I see,” Damian suddenly said, and suddenly Jason was so much more grateful for his presence. The demon brat understood. “Richard, Drake, get him to bed. I will retrieve the ice.”

It probably spoke levels of how bad he looked that Jason’s brothers didn’t bother to even comment on the brat’s orders. Jason was lugged to his bed and tucked in.

“Sorry,” he mumbled at Dick.

“For what?” Dick patted him on the head as Tim went to get a glass of water and the painkillers he stored in the bathroom mirror cabinet.

“I’m heavy. You have old man knees.”

Divk gasped, mock offended. “Excuse me?! I’m not old! You’re fine if you’re talking shit, Jay.”

“Feels like shit…” Jay paused. “Not as shit as your gray hairs.”

“Tim! Jason’s bullying me!”

“Gray is a good color on you, I think,” Tim said, walking back in with water and meds. They helped Jason drink the meds as Dick alternated between whining about not being old and indignantly sayin ‘respect your elders, you brats!’

“Here.” Damian walked in with both bags of peas and actual ice packs. “It should be better after you have rested, but if you don’t, mother knows an acupuncture treatment that would help.”

Jason shivered as they applied the ice packs.

“Ugh, fuck off.”

“Just sleep, you raging asshole.” Tim said, sweeping a blanket onto the crime lord. “Oracle’s got Steph covering your routes until you’re better.”

Somehow, surrounded by his brothers, Jason finally found the energy to fondly flip them the bird and fall asleep.

#batman #tim drake #jason todd #batboys #dick grayson #damian wayne #Stephanie Brown #sick fic #sick Jason #is any of this in character? idk #you know what I do know though? #I know that lactose intolerance is for the weak #and that I am so very weak #but the cheese was damn worth it #viva la cheese motherfuckers #also I have feelings about Jason having growing pains #cause let’s be real he’s still kinda growing + he was kind of shrunky as Robin vs now

[narwhalandchill]

oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh

so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.

why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.

and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.

so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.

it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.

like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!

and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)

(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)

#man the way its lovely reunion but tjen ajax fucking ATTACKS IT ON SIGHT you couldve gotten married!!!!11!1 fucking unbearable i am in agony #anyway contrary to popular belief we still have no fucking clue whether ajax' link to the narwhal was innate #skirk saying the traces remain on him after meeting it isnt saying tht much. the parts he shares w it couldve well been innate but dormant #instead. also just the fact that he woke it up already shady #then like. monoceros caeli being his from the beginning is completely plausible despite ppl acting like its been confirmed his const change #and like them being halves of the same entity on some lvl would make the narwhal being so weak without him n until ajax found it again #make very much. sense. anyway ajax toxicity jokes aside if the narwhal was just trying to eat him point blank without even a hello #i do get why hed react aggressively. but also bros been telling everyone n their mom hes fighting his narwhal the seconf he finds it again😔 #so i feel somewhat confident in assuming he started that 40+ days brawl #anyway if ajax Isnt the celestial narwhal on some level or possibly becoming it as their link grows. #riddle me this atheists. why is his 3rd phase boss theme. the song about His individual murderous rage at us #bc he thought he was outplayed by us. His personal wrath #whys the song for that called the wrath of the celestial narwhal. of the star swallowing whale. Hmmmge. his individual rage. #why does tusk of monoceros caeli speak of him embracing the narwhals innate qualities as embracing mere parts of Himself #funny how tjat goes!! (the OST n boss drop is not 100% serious theory but it does drive me insane. bc why would they phrase it like that) #anyway either theyre 2 halves same original entity or theyre soulmates idgaf . they should fold teyvat in half and eat it for brunch #aaand im going to be consumed by this realization for the next month wish me luck #WHY DID IT NEED HIM THERE SO BADLY???? HUH?????? #i mean relatable dont we all. but its sooooooooo inch resting. Curious indeed #rambles #genshin #childeposting #childe #narwhalposting

[qpjianghu]

(...but what if I was?)

Li Lianhua / Li Xiangyi | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)

#mysterious lotus casebook #li lianhua #li xiangyi #lhl #my mlc gifs #thanks to the folks who helped weigh in on that last gif! #specifically thank you to: #the-surreptitious-albatross #lianxiaojie #and an apology... #to our dear a-fei #for including him in this gifset #I still believe that the feihua relationship is one of the most devastating tragedies of this show #because of the way that di feisheng grows subtly but significantly over the course of the show #and he comes SO CLOSE to loving and accepting llh/lxy for who he is and who he always was #and maybe he in fact DOES get to this point internally #but his last words to llh are inviting him to fight him like times of old #showing (in llh's eyes at least) a regression to their previous selves #a “self” that maybe llh feels he never actually was #which is why I specifically wanted a feihua scene in that last gif to juxtapose with the more obvious shan gudao scene #the subtext of that feihua scene is very sexy of them (I am looking disrespectfully) #but the text of the scene is brutal and tragic: #as di feisheng violently lashes out at li lianua for his perceived weaknesses #and while llh's initial reaction was at most faintly irritated up until that point #you can see that spark of genuine hurt and sadness in his gaze as dfs holds him at arms length #anyway this has been “things about mlc that make me want to tear my hair out at 3AM” #thank you for coming to my ted talk

[turtleblogatlast]

Headcanon that Future Leo was really good with Casey Jr. while the kid was growing up, and this is largely because Leo had previously gotten a lot of experience looking after Hueso Jr. as well.

#rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #I am so very weak for Señor Hueso and Leo’s dynamic #though Leo very much has to earn the privilege of being allowed to look after Hueso Jr in the first place #tbh based on what we’ve seen from him I genuinely think he’d be great at it #it’s the perfect opportunity for him to be a ‘leader’ of sorts whilst still being allowed and also encouraged to be FUN #I have many soft feelings for this okay #and yes I thought of this partially because of the fact they were both Jrs

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

really weird poll time!

#i always thought everyone was like this #but i was talking about it to my boyfriend earlier and he said he never feels this! #so maybe i'm a freak!!!!!! #this conversation was inspired by the vaster wilds by lauren groff which was a Very Tough Read For Me D: #my ankles also always go weak in a very queasy sickened fashion when i see or think about anyone experiencing injuries etc. #because i am a victorian waif apparently

[essencering]

↳ summary: Monsters and Humanity have slowly started to interact with one another the lines blurring a bit, but still, both sides stubbornly remain in the past with some things. So when your peaceful life is suddenly turned upside down when a storm sweeps through, you find that a monster has crash landed into your life. Moreso.... crashing into your attic.

↳ Tags: Gender Neutral Reader, Mammon (Obey Me!), Harpy Mammon.

writer's blurp: had this floating around in my brain for a bit, i really just want to write some of the OM boys as monsters. first... a pretty birdy mammon.

The border between your world and monsters is as simple as a line of stones carved with runes. Parents would often whisper to their children horror stories, and reasons to never step over those stones no matter what the reason might be.

You would be safer to remain on the other side of those stones. Same for the monsters, they would remain safer on their side of the stones, but as time has slowly marched forward things have changed.

Monsters and Humanity have slowly started to interact with one another the lines blurring a bit, but still, both sides stubbornly remain in the past with some things. You're family has lived on the border between both worlds, and you've seen many monsters leave to trade, to live amongst humans, and even seen some humans do the same.

Yet you've never stepped across those stones into their world, after all, you feel as if what you've seen from monsters once they cross over is fitting to what lay on the other side. So when your peaceful life is suddenly turned upside down when a storm sweeps through, you find that a monster has crash landed into your life.

Moreso crashing into the attic, the wind and rain seemingly too strong for the monster to handle, and your roof was an unfortunate victim, but one you could live with. The monster seemed to be unharmed, a ball of puffed-up feathers, with a mixture of trilling and clicking. Piercing eyes watch you while you try you're best to cover the hole till the storm passes.

the monster in question is a harpy.

a very pretty one at that, and also very cautious of you, not that you can blame it. after all, if you suddenly had a crash landing into someone's house you would also be on high alert as well.

the harpy stays in the attic, tucked away in a corner far from the hole in the roof, surrounded by bundles of packed-up blankets and such that you didn't need in the springtime.

you assume it made a nest for itself to feel more comfortable and help to keep it from stressing out.

you couldn't get close to see if it was hurt, so you would simply poke your head up into the attic and look at the harpy, but the moment it started to puff up and hiss you would leave.

the storm lasted for three nights and four days, so to say that you were surprised to see the harpy in your room was very starting. it simply looked at you, dazed, before simply dozing off on your bed.

the harpy stuck around even after the storm, but there was always a good bit of space between the two of you. with the harpy watching you, and you just trying to do day-to-day things.

the harpy would sometimes trill, or chirp randomly at you. sometimes even when you were cooking, often stealing bits of whatever you might be cooking. a small blessing since you were unsure of when it had last eaten.

the harpy has taken to sleeping on your bed, a happy little ball of feathers and limbs on your bed during the day, and would sometimes carry some of your things up into your attic. during the day and at night.

to find that it was making a nest and the attic into its own little space was surprising, as you believed it would leave after the storm. yet it was making itself at home.

"hey, shouldn't you.... go back home?" you asked, the harpy making it turn away from making its nest to look at you. it blinked at you, shaking its head before smiling. the talons tapping against the wooden floorboards, tail feathers moving in a way that reminded you of a dance all while it walked over towards you.

a little sigh is all you hear before the harpy starts to nose at your hair, happy little trills and chirps.

"hmmmm, like it here. like you." hearing the harpy speak was shocking, as it had simply chosen to use only sound, its feathers, and expressions to communicate.

The Harpy's name you learned later is Mammon. A sweet guy, a huge dork in his own way, a lover of shiny things, but most of all a giant softy. Despite how big and bad he seems when he's all puffed up.

He would go out and bring you back little things. Trinkets, some wild game for dinner that night, or something that you could wear. He would puff up with pride right after putting it on you or seeing you wear whatever he brought home for you.

He could be a bit greedy for your time, and even greedier when it came to either sleeping in your bed with you or having you in his nest. Where he would ruffle his feathers, move things around and trill happily when everything was just right before curling up around you to doze off.

A smile on his face, and the cutest little noises to lull you to sleep.

#obey me! memories #gender neutral reader #reader is gender neutral #sfw #obey me! x reader #reader insert #mammon x gender neutral reader #mammon x reader #harpy mammon #haha sorry if this isn't the best start to this stuff #very much just wanted to write a little bit for this cause i am weak to the thought of harpy mammon just #crash landing then just feeling so at home in your space he just sticks around

[bakubunny]

I gotta say, Angel, you impressed me this week.

There were a few times you were with me that ya coulda tapped out, an' instead ya finished the trek through the woods like a big girl. With how Kirishima was goin' at ya with that remote vibe I'm surprised you could stumble back inside the cabin. S'been nice seeing ya collapse all weak-kneed on the couch. Even nicer seein' yer eyes roll back takin' Red's bad dragon toys again.

Are ya wonderin' what it's been for? We set up a very special game tonight for our princess. I wouldn't surprised if ya already figured it out. Why Kirishima and I head up to this cabin every January. Why we don't usually have ya come up with us. See, Kirishima and I love ya a little too fiercely, an' it wouldn't be right to show you just how much without a little preparation. Ya did so well this week takin' what we dished out, I have no doubt you'll be able ta take our knots now.

Tonight's the Full Moon, cottontail, and you'll be getting' the chase of yer life. Once the moon is high, ya get a 20 minute head start. Since Red insisted we make it “fair” you've spent a week gettin' to know the trails you'll be runnin'. With the moon being so bright for ya and a week's worth of scent around to throw us off, I wonder how long it'll take us to track down your slick thighs.

I'm bettin' I'll find ya first. If'm lucky I'll have ya trembling 'round my knot before Kirishima catches up. He looks good when he pouts, an' that's what he'll do when I'm carryin' ya back to the cabin with yer legs still wrapped 'round me. M'not mean though, I've learned t'share- but you're takin' my pups first, an' I intend to win the chase tonight t'make sure of it. Truth is, breedin' ya wasn't our first thought. We planned to ease ya into this side of our life, but then you made the decision for us, Bunny. What did you think was gonna happen when ya start ovulatin' during the Wolf Moon? -Kats

hi kats ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა

it - it’s been really nice to spend so much time with you and eiji. i’m glad you brought me with you this time.

but you got me all nervous about this lil game now. i’m not scared though, i promise! gonna try my best to do a good job n stuff, see if i can trick you. 🙈

and gosh that sounds nice. 😅 you know i’d be happy to be the best girl and do that for either of you no matter who was first. but i know how competitive you can get.

i dunno what i thought, but i didn’t expect to be bred 😵‍💫 all of this i suppose. it gonna be a big night for us tonight, and i can’t wait to be snuggled up between my two favorite heroes once it’s all over.

bunny ♡

#nonnie i am SCREECHING #you targeted this so specifically #how am i supposed to respond #i don’t know where to start #SOMEONE has been paying very close attention to what i post 😰 #the praise? the bd toys? the - 😵‍💫 #the werewolves or the knotting? the breeding? just being carried back in his arms like it’s NORMAL? #and don’t even get me started on the pet names you know how i feel about that #how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #werewolf krbk is gonna have me weak for an indefinite period of time #katsuki anon #bnha rp #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #tw monsterfucking

[hephaestuscrew]

A book asks the reader to imagine any sensory input of the story, whereas a film or TV show provides both sound and visuals. Audio fiction lives in the space between these two approaches. I think there's a unique power to that middle ground. I love how audio drama asks the listener to co-construct their sensory experience of the story.

Audio drama allows me to simultaneously experience 'This character feels real to me because I've heard their voice' and 'This character feels real to me because I've pictured them myself'.

What the characters are experiencing is both directly presented to me and left to my imagination. There's no page or screen between me and the story. It's there in my ears. It's there in my mind's eye.

There's a strange sense of intimacy to that, the intimacy of feeling like a fly on the wall during a conversation or of hearing a character speaking as if directly to me. Perhaps it sounds contradictory to say that experiencing a story only through sound allows me to feel uniquely connected to that story, but that's one of the reasons why I love audio fiction so much.

#I am conscious that this is very much the perspective of a sighted and hearing person #and I hope that doesn't come across weirdly #I'm just trying to articulate how I feel about it #This is no shade to books/films/TV btw #They are also excellent mediums with their own strengths #Honestly the main reason why podcasts are my primary form of media consumption #is probs that I'm bad at setting aside time to read/watch things #rather than necessarily because of the specific power of audio fiction #but the particular magic of audio fiction is a nice bonus #I don't really buy into the idea that reading is 'active' while watching video is inherently 'passive' #but under that way of thinking audio fiction is kind of between passive and active in an interesting way #podcasts #audio drama #audio fiction #the empty man posteth #I'd be interested to know if this resonates with anyone else or if it's just me #Also another element to this which makes it weirder is that I have a pretty weak visual imagination #so when I say 'mind's eye' that tends to mean vague concepts for me rather than actual images #but it still helps me feel connected to the story in a unique way. Idk

[sysig]

Bunnies and piggies (Patreon)

#Doodles #Original #Although please click the link! Those bunnies are very inspired by evenlyevi!! They are so cute I love them!! #The yellow lineart and the little nub-shaped body did me in completely ;; They are so cute <3 #It makes me so tempted to design some Just Desserts pets based on fruit silhouettes haha #Or other ingredients but fruits are rather common sweets :0 I suppose Taffy is based on cotton candy but that's cheating ♪ #Love bunnies <3 #As for the piggies I've been itching to try and decide a sweet-version I could incorporate to make a JD pig! #I've got a cow - a chicken - sheep as mentioned lol - I need more classic farm animals! And pigs are super cute! #They're probably the one feral-shape that I feel somewhat competent at drawing lol #Still not completely but somewhat! Trotters are so cute #Maybe those curled ribbon candies for the curly tail hmmm #I haven't looked at pig faces enough to know exactly where to put their mouths straight-on - it's right under the nose yeah? #It feels so obvious and easy in profile! Or even the one with her tongue stuck out lol #Gotta get back into drawing Mila just to practice her cute face #I love her dimples too hhghhh cutes!! I am weak!! #So many cute little lads out there just existing #Love that

[meyerlansky]

I have successfully boiled my problem with most of the izzy reads that i hate down to a sentence:

he's not sexually repressed, he's emotionally repressed.

#they are different and ihave paragraphs and paragraphs of thoughts on it #but dressing like a leather daddy and holding your hand over an open flame and literally everything else he does #is not the behavior of a man who doesn't know or realize what gets him going #he's not closeted. he's not homophobic. he thinks having Any Positive Emotion not related to violence makes you vulnerable #[and he's right for his experience and circumstance but i won't touch that now] #his conflict is emotional; ed's ability to captain isn't compromised by his being attracted to a man. it's compromised by Having Feelings. #their ability to survive a world that wants them dead isn't compromised by either of them being queer; it's compromised by being SOFT #by having WEAK SPOTS #pets are a weak spot. lovers are a weak spot. get rid of them to stay safe. not out of spite. #not out of a disdain for those relationships themselves. out of disdain for what Feelings Do To You #idk man maybe i am simply emphatic about this nuance because i get—more than I would like—the impulse to be SAFE #even at the cost of your self and some chances at being happier #he doesn't even care that lucius is gay in the deck scene and i'd go so far as to say he doesn't really care that lucius is slutty #insofar as. like. he doesn't know him and pete are open. from a monogamy-normative perspective it's a betrayal. #your partner being unfaithful when you expect them To Be is ALSO A THING THAT CAN GET YOU KILLED #like idk i just. i think people don't get how much of him is about safety? #and i know the show's created this atmosphere of 'homophobia isn't a real threat' #but they haven't removed the violence and danger crews other than stede face for Other Reasons #so. he's very security-driven. and that's why he speaks to me. #and it's annoying that people just make 'lol izzy's closeted' 'peak homophobic gay' jokes instead of. engaging. with the shit izzy AND ED #went through to make them emotionally closed off the way they are #THE SENTENCE IS A SENTENCE BUT THE EXPLANATION SURE ISNT

[boyywithluv]

.

#having a creative rut feeling #gonna rant #im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well #and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it. #every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that #like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw #but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better?? #i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it. #and thats scary for me. #but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content. #i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating. #i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it #i just feel. worse? i dont feel good. #i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good. #ugh #idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make #and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame. #not that i find those things lame #but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain. #when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!! #but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset #im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay #bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft. #i don't think im making sense but like. #you know #I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content #multiple times. #so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame #but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't #vent ish

[crescentfool]

WHATS UR FAVORITE RYOMINA MOMENT FROM THE MOVIES I NEED TO KNOW!!!

HI FELIX!! thank you for the ask i am always happy to take more opportunities to talk about ryomina they are so special to me o7

it is VERY tempting for me to answer, "every fucking time ryoji showed up on screen!" ok this might be an exaggeration, i like 90% of his screentime, december 2nd ryoji should've been portrayed more like a pathetic wet dog imo but i digress. but hm... favorite moment.

while the helper's club montage has a very strong place in my heart (it permeated my braincells without my permission)!! i think my favorite part of ryomina's portrayal in the movies is the whole sentence finishing thing they got going on. i feel like that's a cop out answer but like.

there is something so so gut wrenching to me about how they start off by making it so that ryoji is the one finishing minato's sentences. always ryoji. BUT THEN!!! when they meet again at the top of tartarus to do battle on judgment day!! they turn it on it's head!! and it's minato!! who finishes the sentence!! and fuck man does it make me feel like i'm being kicked down a staircase.

and to have the sentence finishing happen again for such an important day?? god idk im gonna tear up and someone needs to like. give me like. a chew toy or something this makes me so fucking insane (blows up) (blows up).

so basically my favorite moment is really like, january 31st, but a lot of my attachment to it is BECAUSE they have that set-up in november with ryoji being the silliest fucking guy to have ever walked at gekkoukan. and oh man oh man the fucking. THE. when. WHEN THEY FOLLOW IT UP WITH MINATO SUMMONING THANATOS AFTER THIS?? yeah man. that's the fucking shit.

like i don't think the english language is enough to convey how much i love the artistic choice to have the flash frame of ryoji when minato summons thanatos. it's the hesitation and rebellion babey!!! the whole scene afterwards is so fucking juicy as well.

honorable mention to when ryoji jumped off the fucking roof at iwatodai station to tell minato that he has kindness in his eyes and that he doesn't like seeing him alone. what kind of guy does that. that's so fucking hilarious to me like actually. he was insane for that.

anyway that is my answer i HOPE u enjoyed reading it, god, ryomina still makes me eyes watery (it's been almost 2 years since i've met them??? what the fuck). i feel like others have echoed this sentiment before but nevertheless i was super happy to type it out :D

#lizzy speaks #lizzy askbox #IM SO FUKCING NORMAL ABOUT RYOMINA PERSONA 3 !!!!!!!! WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!! #ohhh they give me so much joy thank you thank you for the ask i love to yell about them and blow up #also happy mochizuki monday everyone :) i have a sketch for it i just want to apply some colors first and then i'll post!! #i love answering things in the askbox thank you for the very enthusiastic ask!!! #also re: the helper's club scenes i mentioned in the tags of my redraw of the hallway handholding scene that- #when i watched the movies originally i had to fucking pause after they held hands!! to sleep!!! #so i was just there in bed RESTLESS THINKING 'ohmy godthoohomyhgodt hhey they holdedhands holyfucking shit what am i perceivngi' #it was insane tbh so in that respect the helper's club scenes are very unforgettable to me because it was a brain parasite #but i thought i'd answer with january 31st because it still makes me want to eat dirt and it feels like very good ryomina to me like ohh #bitches who be weak to narrative themeing (me!!) eat this shit up like it's a buffet ohhhh my god they were soulmates #...i'm rambling. can you tell these guys make me not normal at all (insert im so fucking normal gif of the guy pounding the ground here)

[eroticcannibal]

Hm. The feelings are all over the place and this is a VERY difficult situation for me.

#word of god #its his anniversary tomorrow! im very happy for him! #but also #😡 #but also also he still wants to call me tomorrow #but also also also 😭 #i am both a terrible person and i am doing nothing wrong #and i am a FANTASTIC friend because im happy for him and a terrible friend because im not #and i am SO fucking jealous i do not like being jealous #i am above jealousy thats a feeling for weak and pathetic people #but why even be jealous he wants to call me tomorrow #because im special to him #ahhhh i wish i had weed