#I NEED THE TRASH TWINS ONE IN HQ SO BAD

[dennisboobs]

(source)

#CRUMBS #iasip #the always sunny podcast #iasip podcast #charden #macdennis #I NEED THE TRASH TWINS ONE IN HQ SO BAD #ada speaks

[justanother-fanficwriter]

Trese Spinoff Part 1 (NCIA agent.) (based on the Netflix adaptation.)

Genre: Action, Adventure.

Reader Profile:

Gender: Male

Age: 25/same to Alex

Relationships: Unnamed mother, Unnamed Father, Alex/Cousin, (S/N)/sister, (B/N)/Brother), Crispin and Basilio/ adopted cousins, and five more cousins (Alex's twin and her bros) just frickin research!

Home: Condominium at Makati, Safehouse at Batangas, safehouse at Baguio, safehouse at Sorsogon.

Cars: Gadget Equipped Secret Service Vehicle (Black Toyota Camry 2008 TRD), Signal Interceptor and Transmitter Van (White Toyota Hiace), white Mitsubishi L300.

11:30 Am, you were at NAIA Terminal 4, a man is asleep right at the Air Asia stand. Or is he. Your job is to frame the S.P.O.T. (Supernatural Paranormal ) terrorist group. You go into the airport and you need to find the profile of the person you need to frame. You can't simply ask them all, so you head to the tourist information and steal an ID. You take it to question the tourists, thank god there are only a few today. The profile you need is: Scientist, Beach, Cebu Pacific. After a few interviews, you found her. You need to get a passport to get a bag to place the dead guy on the bench in. You find the identical bag and take the name of the owner. You head to the check in and try to get the passport, you need one now. But of course, the girl behind the counter isn't stupid, she wont give a passport belonging to Linda Crisencia when you literally are a dude. You need to get that lady out of there. You bought a soda and pretend to spill it next to the counter.

"oops, sorry..."

You pretend.

"Ugh! Read signs! Bulag ka?"

You get to the computer and take the duplicate passport. As you do this, your sister powers off all cameras. You manage to get the passport and you take the similar looking bag, you take it and place the body inside, but one last touch, removing the stickers. Luckily, you always bring alcohol with you. You take the stickers off and replace the bag, you get into the van with your sister and drive off.

As you drive, your sister starts to make fun of you.

"If you were smart enough, you could've just slipped the bag away from the security without making a dumb passport."

She says annoyingly.

"At least I do things planned unlike you!"

You start trash talking and roasting each other.

You arrived at HQ where you finally head to your office. You've been secretly investigating a case about a specific person named Alexandra Trese. You believe she is your cousin as you remember your family roots involved babaylan, real ones. Not dumb-ass witch doctors. The story of your mother was that she had a brother who was a babaylan. She never mentioned any other details about that brother of hers. She said that she had no powers and her only way to be a babaylan was to learn how to do healing magic. Too bad she wasn't born with this ability. But she was smart in science, she constructed a kris knife after Sinag was created (similar to Alex's) that can control atoms and form powers and create heat and could do the same things the Sinag can. Her family didn't accept her work so she ran away and continued her work. The NCIA discovered this and with the help of the NBI, they took her in and recruited and trained her. Then she became an agent where she met my dad.

Soon I heard a terrorist group is about to attack another MRT train with aswangs. You head to the coordinates.

I stood with another bunch of agents and my sister calculated the speed and trajectory of the jump I will make to land exactly in the train windows. One mistake then we all fail this mission.

"I got the calculations!"

"Make sure that's right."

You tell her. And she frowned before side eying you.

I immediately jump off the building and I landed right in the train windows causing the windows to break. I kicked the aswangs and threw them outside the train. I held the heads of two aswangs before cymbaling their heads with each other. I grapple the other before i stab him with my kris kick him to another agent that finishes him off. Your sister took her gun and shot the aswangs. The train stops at Shaw Blvd. And I got off. I realise, Alex will show up because the lack of information regarding the attacks will lead people to relate this to the Aswang Clan.

Next morning me and other agents arrived in black cars with our suits on right at the site for the attack and i was right, Alex will be there.

"Who are these guys?"

Her short haired bodyguard asks.

"Gago! They look like the frickin men in black!"

"If you put glasses on both of you, you'll look like them."

Alex replied to her long haired bodyguard.

"Let the professionals handle this!"

I told the cops.

"Who are you!? Who do you think you are!!!"

Alex asks angrily.

"The professionals."

You reply. Before heading to the scene and start convincing everyone it's just the aswang clan. You do this to reduce panick. You head back to Alex.

"Sorry for interrupting, by the way, im (y/n)! And this is by sister (s/n)."

I say while gesturing to my sister.

"Im Alexandra Trese, an asset of the Manila police in supernatural cases. These are Crispin and-"

"Let me guess the other, its ummm... Basilio?"

"Yeah, stop by my bar sometime."

For now, thats all folks!

#trese #trese fanfic #team trese #crispin and basilio #the kambal #trese fanfics #trese x reader

[samiwok]

social media au ; ndiy

14 || thank you

~li’s notes~ my heart is absolutely broken fmemekek but well things will get better I promiseeee this isn’t over yet

// warning // kinda suggestive at a moment and reader falling unconscious for a minute

funfair III || 13 <-

-> 15 || first love

Thoughts going so fast they leave your mind empty. Nothing. Nothing. I did nothing. Nothing. Your body started shaking. Osamu ? Here ? Why would he be here ? Why would Iwaizumi be here ? And, why did he come back ? For you, that’s what he said. Now the one getting lost was yourself. The multiple questions; the noises; people surrounding you, you started panicking. Your legs started shaking too, mind spinning. You fell on your knees, overwhelmed by the situation.

The guys both jumped on you to help you, obviously worried about you. Iwaizumi carried you, waiting for you to feel better. But while you were kinda unconscious, they started arguing.

“I don’t need your help, I can carry her all alone” the dark haired boy said, still holding you close to him.

Osamu sighed to the situation. He was irritated, but he was able to take on him and wait for his moment.

“What are you even doing here ?” Iwaizumi asked, irritated to see the Miya twin here. Especially knowing your relationship, and knowing that he was the main obstacle to get you back.

“I was invited.” He said, not stating that Bokuto was actually the one who invited him and not you. Which made Iwa pout, not knowing what to say now.

“You were here with her when I only came to take a walk, curious about the fair.” He laughed but was in pain. He didn’t have the time to complain though, or even to overthink about this, because you woke up in Iwaizumi’s strong arms.

“I’m sorry i don’t know what happened I’m better now” you put some distance between Iwa and you’d still standing next to him and facing Osamu who still had a neutral expression on his face.

“Maybe the two of you were saying things to each other. I’ll let you finish you join us after Yn ?” Osamu asked and you quickly nodded, making him join Bokuto, Kenma, Kuroo and Akaashi away, hands in his pockets.

“Tell me why are you here Hajime ?”

“I told you ! And I-“

“You ?” You asked, insisting. You knew what he wanted to say, but Hajime always had problems saying these words.

I love you.

The first time he told you he loved you; you were having sex. He was right above you, fucking you roughly and suddenly he just let it all go. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck why do I- ugh I’m so in love with you Yn” and oh god you remembered too well how awkward it was right after that. He got frozen suddenly and started to stutter. It made you laugh in the first place and you reassured him; but after that he only told you about his feelings four or five times.

Attention, gifts, sex. Everything. He had everything but he was so insecure about his feelings. It costed him a lot to tell you these three words in Los Angeles and now here you were. Both facing each other. Both waiting for some certain words.

“I’m waiting Hajime, you what ?”

“I just-” he pinched his lips, still not feeling able to say it this easily. You sighed. But as you were trying to go back to your friends, he gripped the sleeve of your sweater, whispering into your ear

“I’m in love with you Yn, I know it. I know that’s love. I came back because my life means nothing if I’m not sharing some privileged moments with the one woman I need by my side. I need you.”

You froze. What could you possibly tell him after that ? You turned to him; trying to figure it out by the way but nothing came to your mind. You were simply too shocked by the choice of his words. If these declarations were rarely happening, they were at least the most honest words somebody ever said to you.

“Hajime I-”

“Do you want me to leave Yn ?” He was trying hard not to make you feel guilty but his eyes fixed on your face were betraying his sadness and your stomach was hurting you. A soft laugh escaped from your mouth though.

“Hajime this isn’t my funfair, I mean you can stay if you wa-”

“Stop pretending, you know what I mean. Do you want me to leave ?”

“I-” you looked at Osamu who was silently waiting for you with your group of friends. They were all laughing, having fun even tho Kenma seemed to be worried about you, not taking his eyes off you, exactly like Osamu. You stayed standing in front of him, eyes staring in their direction.

He turned himself and understood. You only needed to spend a good moment and he was ruining that. At least that’s how he felt. He smiled, and then his eyes escaped your gaze and looked away, clinching jaw. “It’s okay”

You frowned. “What ?”

He sticked his forehead to yours before kissing it tenderly in response.

“I get it. I was maybe wrong to think I had a chance to get you back. Please accept my apologies, I won’t bother you anymore”

He caressed your cold cheeks, his thick, soft and warm fingers going down to your chin. You really thought he was about to kiss you, but instead he just looked at you sadly, trying his best to smile one last time.

“Thank you yn, thank you for everything.” He smiled, eyes closed, a grateful smile, a true smile this time. You wished the moment was forever, because even if it wasn’t rare to get attention from him, Iwaizumi wasn’t that emotional a lot of times. And as you saw his back getting away under the lights of the fair, you felt your heart tearing apart. Tears coming down your face.

Come back.

That’s what you wanted to say, but a hand seized your shoulder. You jumped, turning to face Osamu. His face was kind of stoic. There was an emotion on it. But you weren’t able to tell. Anger ? Jealousy ? Disappointment ? A mix of all these maybe. He touched your cheek softly, all you could see on his face was his worrying expression.

“Are you feeling better Yn ?” He asked and you instantly cried even more of his question. You were sobbing, trying to talk, stuttering to each one of your words. Your face was probably the ugliest he had ever seeing yet he remained silent, taking you closer to his body in a warm embrace. His hands were rubbing your back, his chin posed on the top of your head. He was letting you express yourself. After long minutes, and when you finally calmed down, you had to leave the fair.

“I’m so sorry, I ruined your night...” you apologized; feeling bad for him, for Iwaizumi, for your friends. He tilted his head slowly.

“Really ? I have the impression that it was your night being ruined because of me baby” he said softly, before laughing. “It’s okay I’m not mad or anything. I think we’ll need to talk about all this but for now let’s just take you home okay ?”

You nodded and he kissed your cheek tenderly, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and rubbing your right arm softly.

“Come on, let’s go pretty girl and dry these tears, I hate to see you in this state, I never want to see you cry again”

masterlist

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[thelastspeecher]

20 First Lines

I got tagged by @novantinuum to do this, and it seemed pretty fun!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories.  See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 authors!

I won’t be tagging anyone else bc I’m too lazy, but if you wanna do it, feel free to do so and claim that I tagged you lol.  So, here’s the first lines of my 20 last posted writes, from most recent to oldest.

Honestly, I thought more first lines would just be dialogue.   That’s one of my go-to’s.  And I swear, I’m not opposed to titling my writes.  I like titling them.  I’m just...really bad at coming up with titles.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

1. A Kiss From a Nixie

Stan and Angie stared silently at each other. Angie suddenly turned beet red.

2. Stan Falls in Love With a Frog

Stan sat on the edge of the dock, looking out over the water of Lake Gravity Falls.  In the fading light, mist curled above the lake surface.  He sighed and reeled his fishing line back in.

3. Untitled Superhero/villain AU prompt

Angie walked into HQ, nerves fluttering in her stomach. Despite being a villain for a couple years now, she had yet to come into work alone.  But Lute was currently next to the toilet in their house, occasionally throwing up.  She headed for the secretary to pick up her assignment for the day.  The secretary looked up and raised an eyebrow.

4. Untitled Angie and her sibs prompt

“Ooh, cookies!”  Violynn looked down.  Her youngest sibling, six-year-old Banjey, stood by her side, staring with wide eyes at the tray of cookies Violynn had just finished.

5. Untitled Best Revenge AU prompt

Angie’s alarm went off.  She groaned loudly.

6. Untitled Smallville AU ficlet

Stan and Ford walked down the dirt road that led to the McGucket Farm.  Lute had called that morning to let them know that his twin sister had come back from boarding school and was settled in enough for visitors.

7. Untitled Restaurant AU prompt

Angie waited by the entrance of her apartment complex.  Stan had followed her in his red El Diablo, but since he didn’t have a parking spot like her, he had to park a couple blocks away.  He walked up, visibly winded.  She raised an eyebrow.

8. Closure?

Max waited patiently in the back of the classroom for the kindergarten teacher to introduce him.  One of his favorite things about being a hero was coming to school classes to tell them about what he did.  And kindergarteners were always the best audiences.  Their wide-eyed enthusiasm was infectious.

9. Skins and Stones

“We’re gonna need to dig out Junior’s child leash for Emory,” Stan said to Angie.  He, Angie, and the kids were at the park, enjoying some fresh air and letting the oldest three run off their extra energy.  Angie looked over at Emory, who, along with his twin Emmett, was a few months old.  She raised an eyebrow.

10. Finally, Some Ford Content

Ford slowly woke up.

11. Untitled Best Revenge AU ficlet

Junior babbled excitedly at Stan as he went over the results of their latest hit.

12. Masks

Angie and Max sat high up in one of the tallest trees in the apple orchard.  It was the only place on the McGucket farm with some semblance of privacy.

13. Junior

The front door slammed open.  Angie stormed into the living room, where Lute and Stan were waiting for her to come back.  After finding out Max had cheated on her, she had immediately gone over to trash his place.

14. Untitled Best Revenge AU ficlet

Max let out a heavy sigh as he stared at the canned vegetables.

15. Best Revenge

Max took a deep breath.  He got out of his car and slowly walked up to Lute’s house.

16. Untitled Spy AU prompt

Ford took a drink from his glass of water.  His hands were shaking with anxiety.

17. Origins

Stan fell flat on his face into the sand.

18. Untangling

Stan and Angie followed the McGuckets into the living room.  Mrs. McGucket looked around the room with a slight grimace.

19. Untitled Restaurant AU prompt

“I still think it was a mistake to not be open later ‘n usual,” Angie said as she wiped down a table.  “If we stayed open until, say, midnight instead of the usual closin’ time of eight, we could’ve catered to couples lookin’ fer a place to have Valentine’s dinner.”

20. Untitled Angenie AU prompt

“But her aim is gettin’ better!” Stan said jovially to the oil lamp carefully buckled in the passenger seat.  Soft chuckling came from said oil lamp.  Stan grinned, glad the joke had landed.  “Y’know, not enough people appreciate my sense of humor.”

#what is a first line? apparently to me it is the first paragraph #also lsjkdnnjdfs you can really tell how I tend to go through phases of focusing on one AU #when all of my writes are listed out like this #tag meme #speecher speaks

[missusrogerswrites]

Lovers Spat. 

@captainstevenrogerswrites

To say it had been a rough day was the understatement of the year. Leaving their beach house early that morning Natasha loaded the twins into their SUV and made her way over to S.H.I,E.L.D. HQ. Waking up to an empty bed and a cold side where her husband would normally have been lying she organised everything on her own assuming he was out for an early morning run. This wasn’t unusual at all but when he still hadn’t returned an hour later she sat tapping the side of her coffee cup. He knew the night before she had to call in to sign some paperwork and Nick Fury was not a man you cancelled on.  “Damnit, Steven today of all days.” ringing his cell for the tenth time and only getting his answering service she sighed out loudly as she looked over at the twins. Sarah and Ivan were now almost seven months old and it took more than a bottle to settle them off to sleep. They were awake for longer now, needing more attention but she was stuck between a rock and  a hard place and honestly she had no idea where Steven really was. This didn’t help her mood but she was never one to take it out on their children. “Okay bubs, looks like you two are coming to work with Mommy today.” she smiled at the cute little faces as they grinned up at her, how anyone could be mad at them was beyond her.  It wasn’t an easy job though transporting two babies on her own as she soon found out. Packing everything into the vehicle she strapped them both into their car seats and set off towards the complex. Ocassionally she checked her phone at each stop sign. Still nothing from him, he really did choose the wrong day to be off doing whatever it was. Clambering out of the SUV she was relieved to see Tony pull up beside her and soon was helping her. Taking one of the twins he grabbed a bag as they both carried them inside. “Didn’t realise it was bring your kid to work day today. I would have brought Happy.” he smirked at her but Tony could sense she was already flustered. “Leave them with me and you go and see Fury, in fact let Uncle Tony take them for the rest of the day and you do what you have to do. Go home, put your feet up. You look like you need it.”  Tony really was a godsend for them both, Often baby sitting so they could still enjoy their marriage but today was a huge comfort and she didn’t waste any time taking him up on his offer. “If Steven ever shows up I will send him round for them tonight.” her tone already sounded annoyed. Something she never was before when it came to him, but where the hell was he and not being able to contact him just made things worse. Meeting with Fury it was over in minutes surprisingly, leaving her the rest of the afternoon to relax and she wasn’t going to waste it. She raced home, walking through the front door as she noticed his boots against the front porch. She didn’t think much on it, of course if she had she would have realised he couldn’t have been on a run not in those. Closing the door she made her way straight for the kitchen, a coffee and even a sweet treat would cheer her up at least, Or so she thought. Seeing the mess still lying from the night before she scowled. Hands on her hips she shook her head as she then turned slowly seeing him now sitting on the sofa. She didn’t take the time to notice the little things, why would she when by now she was clearly pissed.  “Nice of you to show up. Did you forget we have two children and I had somewhere to be?” raising her brows she then turned away towards the mess. He couldn’t even clean up while she was gone and instead was slumped on the sofa like he had nothing to do. “One thing, one thing Steven. I asked you to clean the kitchen, look at the mess.” her arms now were waving around as her mood was getting worse. “Oh why do I even bother. and Tony has your children, if you even care.” she knew it was a low blow, Steven was the most attentive and loving father she had ever seen but by now she just didn’t care.  Moving to the sink she started to rearrange the dirty dishes VERY LOUDLY, muttering under her breath as she did so. “Don’t get up. wouldn’t want to interrupt your busy schedule.” opening the cupboard below the sink seemed to be the final straw for her. Pulling the trash bag out she held it up as she barked over at him. “Do I have to do everything in this house!” storming out to the trashcans she paused for a moment. Was she being too harsh on him? He hadn’t even said a word back to her, his stare just seeming to get more intense. No... she was far from being harsh and she had honestly had enough now. Marching back to the house she slammed the door and moved to the lounge, pulling the cushions out and even yanking one from behind him she glared at him.  A bad day? It hadn’t even started yet. 

[ashiversary]

If We're Honest - Chapter 2

Read the full fic on ao3!

Blanche spent the next week avoiding Spark in non-work-related contexts. Although Spark did not object to being shunned for that week, Blanche suspected that they would not have gotten away with it if Spark was not deliberately giving them space to adjust to their new reality.

It also helped that he spent three of those days dispatched to a hatchery outside the region to oversee the transport of some very fragile Hatenna hatchlings from Galar. When Blanche had noted his absence and asked Annie about it, she had said that Hatenna were sensitive to strong emotion and not just anyone could be trusted to transport them without causing them distress. Since Spark was a mellow guy, he should be able to transport the hatchlings without frightening or upsetting them.

This seemed to be the case, because Blanche heard of his return from some techs who were working on a joint project with Team Instinct. They said that the Hatenna settled in well and all of them seemed to adore Spark to the point where they would cry when he left.

As sweet as that sounded, Blanche’s anxiety ramped up now that he was back in the region and they would have to face him.

How would they face him?

How could they explain how they felt about having a soulmate? And not just how they felt, but *why* they felt that way. They had never discussed being a street kid in Orre and the vague bits that they remembered from Before with anyone but Noire and Sabrina. They knew that Noire must have talked about it with Amelie at some point, but Blanche couldn’t imagine how Noire had broached the topic.

Maybe they should talk to their twin about it. Blanche had been avoiding telling Noire that they had a soulmate. Noire would expect some action on their part, and Blanche wasn’t ready for action.

But then, Noire was the one who knew them best. Maybe they would understand.

The dreams came for Blanche while they slept, as the dreams always did during times of stress. The long hallways in sterile white that lead nowhere. The sense of dread. They had to find Noire. They had to get out. People in white coats and masks that made them seem faceless loomed over them as they searched. The halls never ended. Each turn brought them back to where they started. And in the background, always, was the girl who laughed and mocked and revelled in their pain.

They never did find Noire before they woke up, shaky and nauseous. They went to the bathroom to splash warm water on their face to fight the chill of terror that still clenched their gut. Then they went to the kitchen to rummage around for something sweet and easy to eat, a habit from their childhood nightmares that they had never shaken.

Sometimes Blanche and Noire would have nightmares in unison, and Sabrina would find them sitting at the kitchen table in the middle of the night sharing a single bar of chocolate. She woke up every time either of them had a nightmare. She was psychic, and she always knew.

Blanche didn’t know what the dreams meant. They felt like more happened in the dream that they didn’t remember when they woke up. But they felt the same dread when they saw doctors and dentists as they did in the nightmare, and therefore couldn’t stand either. It had taken them a while to get used to labs, but they were okay with them now.

Professor Oak and his patience were to thank for that.

Then they got ready and went in to work early. There was no going back to sleep after a nightmare like that and work helped regulate their emotions unlike anything else.

Despite the early hour, Blanche had barely settled at their desk before Candela waltzed into their office unannounced and plunked her butt on their desk. “Hey,” she said, grinning down at them as they stared up in astonishment.

“Good morning, Leader Candela. What are you doing here? Especially so early.” Blanche looked at the digital clock on their desk. It wasn’t even six. Blanche didn’t know what kind of hours Candela kept, but it was a rare day that they made it to work before nine. The thought of this kind of early start being typical for her made them even more tired just thinking about it.

“Got called in to an emergency at one of my gyms,” Candela replied. She swung her legs, which were shapely and covered in opaque black tights. “Got there and it was a Team Rocket raid. Led by a doppelganger of yours.”

Blanche’s heart sank, but they said nothing.

“Luckily Spark told me you had a twin, or I would’ve thought you were moonlighting as a Team Rocket exec.” She inspected the coffee in their mug, but decided against stealing a taste when she saw how dark it was. Blanche felt that if the light could penetrate their coffee, it wasn’t strong enough.

“I can apologize for the actions of my twin,” Blanche said, choosing their words with care. They shuffled the papers on their desk for something to do with their hands. “But I do not control them. I can assure you that I have no ties to Team Rocket that extend past my relationship with Noire.”

Candela laughed. “Oh, darling, I’m not worried about that.” Her red lips curled upward in a cat-like smile. “Professor Willow’s background checks are *very* thorough. Despite what people say, he doesn’t let trash in.” For a moment, her expression darkened. Blanche realized she must be thinking of Spark and what people said about him.

Something in them relaxed. Here was another person who would not judge them for their past ties. From Candela’s attitude, it seemed to be what happened in the present that concerned her.

“That’s why I’m awake at such an awful hour, anyway. But I’m actually here about Spark,” she continued. “Since I was in the area anyway, I thought I would hang out in your office until you arrived. I didn’t know you were already here until after I pushed the door open. By then it was too late to back out.”

And her first thought was apparently ‘I’m going to sit on Blanche’s desk’.

Blanche wondered what kind of repercussions they would face if they shoved her off. They did not like her butt on their work surface. “So Spark sent you?” Blanche decided against pushing her. It would be bad for team relations.

“Oh, no, he didn’t send me. But he’s been whining nonstop about how you’re his soulmate and you won’t even talk to him anymore. I keep telling him to just go for it, but he doesn’t want to cross a boundary or whatever.” Candela’s shoulders rose in a shrug that was somehow both elegant and powerful.

The papers in their hands crumpled slightly, and Candela took them away. She smoothed them out and set them on another part of Blanche’s desk, well out of their reach. “It isn’t my intention to, to be unkind to Spark,” Blanche said. With nothing else to fiddle with, they toyed with their fingers. “It’s just a lot to take in, being a soulmate, especially when I’m new to the region and to my role.”

It wasn’t the truth. Or at least, not the most honest version of the truth. But it was what they were willing to share with a near-stranger.

To their shock, Candela’s hand went under their chin to tilt their head up. She was frowning at them, and Blanche could feel her red-tipped nails against their skin. Their heart beat faster. She was beautiful, and very close. It was awkward. They wanted to pull away.

“You’ve got shadows under your eyes, darling,” she said. “I hope it’s not worrying about Spark that’s keeping you up at night. He’s a big softie.”

Blanche brushed her hand away. “No, it’s not about Spark. It is personal, though.”

She looked like she wanted to ask, but must have figured out that they would tell her no more from the look on their face. She sighed and slid off their desk. “All right. But do talk to Spark. He’s a sweetie, and you’re breaking his heart.”

“He doesn’t know me,” Blanche retorted as she marched to the door.

Candela looked over her shoulder while holding the door open. “No, but he wants to.”

As she clicked out, Annie bustled in, and Blanche’s day began in earnest. Before they were sucked into their schedule for the day, Blanche sent a quick text to their twin.

##

Blanche astonished Annie by taking their lunch right on time, which was unheard of during the two weeks that they had been at their post. But she was pleased that they were taking a break, so she let them go without fuss.

Noire had responded to Blanche’s text with a restaurant name and directions, knowing that Blanche didn’t know the area well yet. Blanche kept the map open on their phone until they found the restaurant Noire suggested, a Korean barbecue place near the shopping centre.

Blanche stepped through the door. Noire was easy to spot in Team Rocket red and black. Blanche raised their eyebrows. It wasn’t often that Noire wore their uniform when they weren’t on official Rocket business, so they must be on a quick lunch before returning to work.

“Hey, Blanche.” Noire was sprawled across the bench when Blanche approached. They smirked up at Blanche as they sat down across the table. “You don’t ask me for help much. What’s going on?”

“I need advice,” Blanche blurted. “With a romantic problem.”

That wiped the smirk off Noire’s face, to be replaced with horror. “What?”

With that volume, it would not have surprised Blanche had their co-workers at Mystic HQ heard Noire shriek. “Not so loud!” Blanche hissed.

Noire looked like they had swallowed their tongue. “I thought I was here for a co-worker problem!” they hissed back, leaning across the table. “How can you be having romantic problems? It’s you. You’ve only been here two weeks!”

Blanche knew that they weren’t the type of person to tumble head first into a romantic scenario, but it still irritated them that Noire said it. “Yes, well,” they said in clipped tones. “In those two weeks I found my soulmate, and I don’t know what to do.”

As Blanche spoke, Noire’s face shifted from mocking disbelief to something quieter. Something that Blanche couldn’t read. “Oh,” they said, voice quiet. “Who…?”

“Spark. The leader of Team Instinct.”

“That’s the blondie, right?” At Blanche’s nod, Noire played thoughtfully with their pigtail. “Huh. He hits really hard.”

“He hit you?” Blanche was shocked.

Noire shrugged as if this were no big deal. “Sure. I tried to steal a shipment of Hatenna. Business, y’know?”

Oh no. It was recent. Blanche covered their face as Noire perked up. “Oh, but that must be why he told me it was nothing personal, and that he hoped we could get along in the future. I thought he was talking nonsense, but it must’ve been because of you, huh? He wants to get along with his in-laws.”

Blanche made an inarticulate sound of pure embarrassment. “We’re not married, Noire!” This had been a mistake. Why had they thought this was a good idea? All they had accomplished was opening themself up to teasing.

While Blanche drowned in the abyss of humiliation, Noire ordered for both of them. Once the server left, Noire turned their attention back to Blanche. “So, what’s the problem? He seemed nice, if a little goofy.”

“I don’t want a soulmate, Noire.” Blanche had never admitted that out loud. Not even to Noire.

They had expected Noire to look confused, or even shocked. Soulmates were considered a blessing. To just not want one was unthinkable. But Noire was nodding. They crossed their arms over their chest and leaned on the edge of the table. “Yeah, I get that. It’s harder for us than for others, because… well, you know.” Noire shrugged. They didn’t like to talk about it any more than Blanche did.

“Yes.” Maybe it hadn’t been a mistake to call on Noire after all. It was a relief to be understood. “How did you navigate it? With Amelie.”

“No idea.” At Blanche’s frustrated look, Noire shrugged again, sheepish. “Listen, I did it, okay? Just blurted it out like I blurt everything out. Somehow it worked. I dunno what to tell you, Blanche, other than to just do it.” Noire punched the palm of their opposite hand for emphasis. “It’s trash can, not trash cannot. Just do it.”

‘Just do it’ was not what Blanche wanted to hear. But Noire considered the subject dealt with and was eager to move on to other topics, and Blanche let them steer the conversation away for the remainder of their lunch break.

They wondered what ‘just do it’ would look like for them. Surely it wouldn’t be as clumsy as it seemed Noire’s had been?

When they returned to the office, they found Annie standing outside the door wringing her hands. Her face was full of apology, and Blanche was instantly on the alert. “What is it?” they asked as they came down the hallway toward her.

“I’m sorry, Chief. I tried to keep them out, but they outrank me,” Annie said.

It couldn’t be. “It’s fine, Annie. Go oversee the Snom project. I’ll deal with this.” Somehow.

“Understood.” But she threw a last, worried look over her shoulder at Blanche before she left.

Blanche took a deep breath and pushed the door open. It wasn’t even a surprise to see Candela perched on their desk again. And this time Spark was here, pacing next to the tall windows.

Blanche heaved an inaudible sigh and let the door fall shut behind them so that the entire floor wouldn’t overhear this conversation. “Don’t you have work to do?”

In his anxious state, Spark must not have heard them enter the room. At the sound of Blanche’s voice he jumped. He stumbled, almost fell, but caught himself at the last minute. When he spun around, Blanche had an instant to register that he was holding flowers before he darted over and shoved them in their face.

“Hi Blanche! I, um, I got you flowers. I know I’ve been giving you space and all, but I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t- that I wasn’t interested, or anything. Um, do you like tulips?”

“He stole them from the park on the way here!” Candela supplied, grinning as if this were hilarious.

“I… suppose I like them well enough,” Blanche said. They took the flowers and held them, unsure of what to do next. They couldn’t help what they said next. “But, really, shouldn’t you be at work?”

Spark winced, and Blanche cursed their mouth. It had sounded like they wanted to get rid of him, didn’t it? Noire would laugh to hear how bad Blanche was at this.

“I didn’t- I was just-” Blanche covered their face. Dammit. “I’m new, and I don’t want either of you to get in trouble because of me.”

“Oh darling,” Candela sighed. An instant later Blanche heard her feet hit the floor and her heels clack toward them. Then her hand was on their shoulder, rubbing soothingly. Blanche almost balked at the touch - they were not used to physical contact from non-family. “We’re the leaders of our respective teams. We can get away with a lot, you know.” The smirk on her face was so suggestive that Blanche flushed and covered their face again.

“Candyyyyy, stop. You’ll break them!” Spark protested, pulling Blanche away from Candela and steering them to the small visitor couch in the middle of Blanche’s office. “Here, just sit down, Blanche. I’ll get you some water.”

“The flowers-” Blanche began.

“Right. I’ll get water for them, too.”

Spark slipped through the doorway of the small attached kitchen like he knew where everything was already. Maybe he did. He had worked with Blanche’s predecessor after all. Blanche was left to ruminate in self-hatred as Candela joined Spark in the kitchen and the two chatted, at ease with each other in a way that Blanche was not.

Something brushed against Blanche’s legs, snapping them from their thoughts. Blanche looked down in surprise to find a Flareon looking up at them, a smirk much like Candela’s on its face. Well, there was no need to guess who its trainer was. That face was all Candela.

Still, Blanche softened and bent to pick up the Flareon and heft it onto their lap. The Flareon made a rumbling sound like a pur and turned spun twice before curling up and making itself comfortable on Blanche’s lap. Blanche smiled and scratched it behind the ears.

“Here we go. Water for Blanche, and water for the flowers. Ah!” Spark broke off upon seeing the Flareon. “I see you’ve met Ares. I hope she’s not bothering ya.” Spark set the glass and a vase half-full of water down on the table while Candela flopped out on the sofa across from Blanche.

She was smirking again. “She’s Valor! Of course she’s bold.” So she approved of her Flareon’s current position.

Blanche murmured a thank you to Spark and placed the tulips in the vase. Now that Blanche wasn’t too distracted to admire them properly, they could see that the flowers were deep shades of red and yellow. “They’re beautiful,” they told Spark, the way they should have when he had first presented the flowers.

Spark gave them a big, goofy grin in response. “They are, aren’t they?” It was said with such ease that Blanche relaxed. They hadn’t ruined everything yet. It was still salvageable.

“I have a Vaporeon,” Blanche said, stroking Ares’ head.

“Yeah? Let ‘im out. I’ll let Donglord out, and they can play!” Spark was already reaching for a pokeball.

Blanche choked. “Dong-”

“Yes.” Candela tone was flat. The look on her face said she shared their pain.

With a sigh for ridiculous names, Blanche obliged. They had to wiggle their hand under Ares to get to their belt, which Ares protested loudly, but they managed to pull the pokeball free to release Sushi the Vaporeon.

“Oh, he’s gorgeous,” Candela sighed in appreciation as Sushi’s sleek form appeared. Then Sushi had to ruin the effect immediately by flopping over onto his back at her feet with a stupid expression. Blanche sighed again. Sushi was never out to impress.

Sushi yelped and scrambled up when a Jolteon pounced on them. That must be Donglord. The two pokemon squabbled, and soon Ares deserted Blanche’s lap to go scold the boys. This resulted in the three eeveelutions tearing around Blanche’s office like hooligans.

Blanche allowed it only because Spark sat next to them on the couch. They could feel the heat of his body through their jacket, and from the way Candela was smirking they must be blushing again.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you.” Blanche couldn’t look at Spark. “I wasn’t-”

But at that moment, there was a knock at the door, before Annie’s voice came through. “Chief? Are you finished in there?”

Blanche leaped off the couch like it had been electrified and went to open the door. On the way they looked over their shoulder to apologize to the other Team Leaders. “I’m sorry.”

Candela smiled brightly. “No problem. Duty calls!” Her cell phone chimed to indicate a text. “Ah, and there’s Charles, right on cue. Looks like duty is calling for me too.”

She left as Blanche opened the door and scandalized them by kissing their cheek on the way out. “We’ll see you after work. We can all have dinner!” She left before Blanche could retort.

They watched helplessly as Spark followed her, laughing. “We’ll come get you at six.”

Blanche was left flabbergasted. Annie blinked in confusion for a second, but then decided there were more pressing matters than asking Blanche what was going on. “Chief, they’re having an issue with a Tentacruel in the training pool,” she began, and Blanche put the date the other two had scheduled for them out of their mind. It was time to work. Other matters could wait until after work hours.

##

Blanche was running the group of Vaporeon through their paces again when Annie appeared at the edge of the pool. “Chief, it’s almost six,” she said.

“Hmm?” Blanche hummed, prying a Vaporeon’s needle teeth from their wetsuit. Wonderful. That was going to tear.

“Don’t you have a date at six?” Annie persisted.

“A date…?” Oh. Oh *shit.* “How close to six is it?” Blanche flounded to the side of the pool in their sudden panic and fumbled the pokeballs. They managed not to drop them and to return the Vaporeon to the balls.

“About five minutes to six.”

Oh no. Not enough time to get changed and get upstairs. “Could you please pass on the message to Leaders Candela and Spark that I’m running late?”

Annie started to reply in the affirmative, but was interrupted. “No need, darling! The receptionist told us where to find you.”

Standing chest deep in water, Blanche looked up to find Candela and Spark looming over the side of the pool.

“Sorry for bursting in,” Spark said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Candy said you wouldn’t mind.”

Blanche shot her an exasperated look. She grinned back, unrepentant. “If you didn’t want us in your space, you shouldn’t have been late, Blanche.”

“I do apologize for losing track of time.” Blanche climbed out of the pool and crossed their arms over the chest to ward off the sudden chill. It wasn’t cold in the training pools, but it felt like it after leaving the pool and standing in the open air.

Annie, ever considerate, grabbed a towel from the stack near the locker rooms and brought it to Blanche without being asked. Blanche thanked her and began to towel off their long hair, which could hold a remarkable amount of water. And they still needed to shower the chlorine off, and blow drying their hair always took quite a bit of time.

“I may need several minutes to get ready,” Blanche said. They had squeezed as much water out of their hair as they could for the moment, so they draped the towel over their shoulders and turned to pick up the case of Vaporeon pokeballs.

Behind them, Candela made a small, shocked sound.

With the case in hand, Blanche looked back at her in puzzlement. She was staring at them, or rather, at their soulmark. She looked more discomposed than Blanche had ever seen her.

Her behaviour concerned Spark as well, “Hey, Candy, you okay?” he asked, touching her shoulder lightly.

She didn’t seem to register it. She was staring at Blanche’s leg. “That’s your soulmark?” she asked, pointing.

“Yes?” Blanche was confused. They glanced at Spark, and he looked just as puzzled.

“And you have the same one?” Candela grabbed the front of Spark’s jacket. Spark raised his hands in alarm and nodded.

“Uh, yeah? That’s how we knew we were soulmates.” Spark looked like he was worried that Candela would throw him in the pool. He looked to Blanche for help.

Candela buried her face in his jacket to muffle a scream.

“Candy, Candy, ya gotta tell me what’s wrong.” Spark rubbed her back soothingly. Annie was looking between the three of them like she wasn’t sure what was going on.

Candela said something too muffled to hear.

“What?” Blanche asked.

This time Blanche understood it when Candela mumbled “Can’t believe this.” She began to laugh, still with her face in Spark’s jacket.

“Okay, Candy, you’re freaking me out.” Spark pushed her away by her shoulders and found that she was in tears. “Seriously. What’s going on?”

“I have the same one,” she said, and began to laugh again.

“The same what?” Spark didn’t get it.

But Blanche and Annie understood at the same instant.

“The same soulmark?” Blanche demanded.

Annie clapped her hands and jumped up and down with excitement. Her face shone. “Ooooh, all three of you are soulmates? That’s so rare!” Blanche hadn’t told her about finding out Spark was their soulmate. They had worried that she would be upset, since she didn’t have one. It seemed they needn’t have worried. She was beaming at them all like they’d given her the best present ever. “You’re so lucky!”

Blanche wasn’t sure Candela felt lucky at the moment. In fact, they were pretty sure she felt hysterical, and Spark was the only thing holding her up.

Annie nudged them toward the change room. “You’d better get ready! You shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

“But, Candela,” Blanche protested.

“Spark’s got her. It’ll take time for you to get ready, and it’ll take time for Candela to calm down. Might as well do both at once. It’s efficient.”

When Blanche narrowed their eyes at her, she smiled, all innocence. She knew how they felt about efficiency. They sighed and handed her the container of Vaporeon pokeballs. “Fine. Please go log these back in for me,” they said.

Annie gave them a salute. “Will do, Chief!” When she darted out, Blanche swore she was humming to herself.

Blanche escaped into the changeroom to shower and get dressed. It took far too long to dry their hair, but Blanche wasn’t eager to go back out there anyway. Their heart was hammering. Not one soulmate, but two. What were the chances? And the fact that they had all ended up as Team Leaders in Opal City despite arriving at different times and for different reasons. Now they had to have an awkward conversation with both of them.

Blanche sighed, double-checked that they were presentable in the mirror, and poked their head out of the change room to make sure that Candela was calmed down.

She was. She and Spark were sitting on the bench outside the change room. Candela’s tights were off, and her left leg was in Spark’s lap. The pale blue swirls and points of the soulmark stood out starkly against her dark skin. There was no mistaking it for anything other than the mark that matched theirs and Spark’s.

Spark rubbed his thumb along the lines on Candela’s calf. “I still can’t believe we didn’t figure it out,” he was saying as Blanche sat on the bench next to him. “We’ve known each other for months, and it’s not like either of us are afraid to show some skin.”

“I know.” Candela sighed. She was calmer now, and seemed pleased with the attention she was getting. She brightened further when she saw Blanche. “Hey! You ready to go?”

“Do you still want to? I know that you were upset.” Blanche was worried. They liked her, for all that she was pushy. They wanted her to be okay.

Candela swung her legs to the floor and stood. “Of course I want to!” She grabbed Blanche’s hands and pulled them to their feet. Her hands were warm and calloused, a testament to the hard work she put into training every day. “Even more now. I already know Sparky. I want to get to know you, too.”

For a brief moment, Blanche’s hands tightened on hers. They were still scared. A soulmate was never something they had wanted. And yet, somehow, it took some pressure off that they had two. Even if Blanche was awkward or uncertain or too cold, even if they weren’t completely human, Spark and Candela would still have each other. Maybe that would make up for Blanche, somehow.

“I want to get to know you too,” Blanche said. Candela and Spark both grinned, like their response was happy but unexpected. “I do have to get some things from my office before we go, though.” Their wallet, for one. They trusted the security in their office to keep their personal belongings safe more than the passcoded lockers in the change room. They had only brought down their keycard and their swim bag.

Spark looped his arm around their neck. “Sure! We’ll go up with you.”

Blanche wanted to protest that it wasn’t necessary, but let it go. If that made them happy, then they would not object.

They were crossing to the elevator when someone hailed them. “Spark! Hey, Spark! Hold on a sec!”

The three of them turned as one. It was Spark’s assistant from the day with the Snom. He was wearing yet another yellow hoodie. Blanche was struggling to remember his name when Spark grinned and called back.

“What’s up, Go?”

“I just need you to sign these before you disappear for the day.” He handed Spark a sheaf of papers on a clipboard and a pen and waited while Spark flipped through them.

“You came all the way here from Instinct?” Candela asked.

“Yeah. He was supposed to sign them before he left, but he forgot. Despite several very pointed reminders.” Go shot Spark a glare, and it occurred to Blanche that things might be more casual in Team Instinct than they were around here. Annie wouldn’t have talked to Blanche like that.

“There we go.” Spark handed the completed papers back to Go. “Hey, Go, guess what!”

Go was wary. “What?”

“Candela’s my soulmate too!”

Go blinked, puzzled. “Uh, yeah? Of course she is?”

Spark and Candela stared at him. “What do you mean ‘of course’?” Candela demanded.

Now Go was even more confused. “I’ve seen both your soulmarks a million times. It’s common knowledge among Instinct and Valor.” It seemed to dawn on him. “Wait. You mean, you didn’t *know?*” He sent Spark an appalled look.

“No!”

“How could you not know?” Go gestured at Candela. “You guys sleep over at each other’s apartments all the time!”

“Yeah, we play video games and I sleep on the couch?” Spark said.

“Seriously? I can’t believe you two.” Go shook his head. “Well, congratulations, I guess. And to you, too.” He included Blanche with a sweep of his hand. “I’m gonna go submit this. Enjoy your date.”

When he left, Candela erupted back into laughter. “I can’t believe this!” She gasped out. “Everyone knew but us!”

“Seems that way.” Spark didn’t seem too bothered. “We know now, at least. C’mon, Candy, we still gotta take Blanche out.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go get your stuff.” Candela composed herself and looped her arm around Blanche’s.

Blanche supposed they could not object to soulmates who laughed a lot.

#Pokemon Go #Ashiversary #chiiwifruit #submission #fanfiction #Blanche #Spark #Candela #Team Mystic #Team Instinct #Team Valor #If We're Honest

[demisexual-deesaster]

Maybe Lilith x a new Siren/ ex bandit leader?? Just the conflict of her suppesed to be against her but falling for her instead

Ahhh this is an interesting ask! Thank you! I'll do my best to honour this request :3 In this HC, the reader will be the vault hunter! Major Spoilers for the fate of a character from Borderlands 3 included, so read at your own risk! Some non canon moments have been added too. Also, oof, this got really long I'm sorry haha

Moving into new Pandora territory because of the damn Calypso twins was annoying to say the least. More than three quarters of your bandits had become mutinous bastards, and you'd almost taken care of all of them, and had almost taken back your home, bit obviously, the Calypso twins had to ruin it with their grandstanding. You barely escaped with your life that day.

You meet Vaughn a few days later, and after seeing your 'super awesome banditness!!' he sent you on a super secret scouting mission, and after your concerns about this supposed Vault Key fragment, he assures you that it's in safe hands. "Go Sun Smashers!" He cheers.

When you return, it's to Vaughn hanging upside down from a chain, and when he sees you, he yells from happiness. "Oh thank goodness you're here! I was getting lonely all by myself! Yeah...stuff happened..." He explains everything to you. You and Vaughn haven't been the best of friends. While you're sarcastic, witty and quick on your feet, Vaughn is...the complete opposite.

You meet Lilith a while later, even if you have to rescue a robot and claim a COV Base as your own temporarily. That woman is no joke, and with the way her eyes sparkle, you know she means business. She doesn't seem overly enthusiastic about having to welcome an ex bandit leader, and when you realize that this is THE Lilith of the Crimson Raiders, your bandit instincts scream at you to turn and run.

Of course, you don't. You owe Vaughn that much. She warily tells you about everything that happened, even though her tone is light, you can sense it. She's probably desperate for help, given how COV trashed their HQ. As you're heading to the Holy Broadcast Centre, you truly wonder if this woman can be fully trusted, or if she can trust you.

But as you keep completing mission after mission for the Firehawk, it becomes clearer to everyone–Vaughn at least, as he won't stop teasing you about it–that you're probably one of Lilith's most favourite Vault Hunters. Oh yeah. You weren't just a Crimson Raider now. You were a Vault Hunter. Things were looking pretty good. Until everything went to hell.

After you rescue Lilith–she said she could walk, but no way were you going to let her, spluttering as she was– and carry her aboard sanctuary, you escape by the skin of your teeth. When Tannis calls you for something, you don't notice the brilliant blush that's dusting the Firehawk's cheeks. She starts calling you killer affectionately from then on, and you can't help but smile giddily when she does.

The crew of the Sanctuary, Lilith's family, are am interesting bunch, and you feel yourself becoming a part of them and caring for them more and more as the days go by. Be it sabotaging radios for Moxxi, scanning vehicles for Ellie, salvaging parts for Claptrap, killing people for Zero and animals for Hammerlock or finding logs and drops for Tannis, you enjoyed every last one of them.

*SPOILER*

Maya and Ava had breezed easily into your life, though Maya's death had been a big blow to the Raiders. You liked Maya, so it hurt even more that you were powerless to stop it. Ava had been assigned to you, so you were the one who held her back when Maya died. When everyone gathered on the deck, Lilith's back was turned away from the group. No one seemed to know what to say, their grief towering. So you thought to say a few words.

"I'm not good at speeches but...Maya was...strong, from what little I knew of her. Everyone here was very close to her, and I'm sure that they miss her more than I ever could. But I think if Maya were here, she'd want us to take the fight to them, to win for the Crimson Raiders, and to come out on top. So if anything...we don't just owe this to the world anymore. The Calypso Twins have to be stopped. We owe that to Maya."

During the speech, Lilith had turned to you, and her eyes were wide, brimming with emotion. You'd awkwardly cut yourself off, suddenly feeling like a child, and Tannis had taken over, but Ava had stormed off, bitterly spouting things about how you were there and should've taken action, and blamed both you and Lilith for her mentor's death. After everyone had left, you went to check on Ava, but the girl didn't let you in, so you went back to Lilith, the latter thanking you for checking up on the girl. "Did you really mean what you said?" She'd whispered, and you'd nodded. "Every word."

*SPOILER END*

It's slow, but after that incident, you can see the difference in behaviour when it comes to how Lilith used to interact with you before, and how she does now. Lingering glances, shy smiles–you didn't know Lilith could be shy!– and, something which took you by surprise the first time, hugs and hand holding. It's something you looked forward to everytime you went on a mission. A brief but small hand squeeze, and a hug that lingered too long when you returned. It was so obvious to everyone that even Tannis and Claptrap had begun to take notice.

After one particularly grueling mission involving that ass Killavolt, you were in Tannis' lab, the woman berating you for not wearing shock resistant shields as she dressed your bruises. "Honestly! It's like you want to be hurt!" She huffs, and five minutes later, she's told you to rest for a while until Rhys contacts your team. You'd begun to protest, shirtless as you were, when the door opened, and Lilith walked in, frowning. "Hey Tannis, could you help me with–"

Her eyes had widened, and you remember feeling a lot naked than you were. It would've been funny, had your eyes not been as wide as hers too. You willed your hands to move, but they stayed as still as led. Tannis meanwhile, was completely oblivious, and continued to poke your abs with her fingers, ignoring Lilith. "Just a moment Lilith. I have a very stubborn patient I need to examine."

It had seemed the words hadn't registered, because Lilith had begun walking towards you, and out of nowhere, she poked your abs. You yelped, wincing, a red blush colouring your face. "Lilith! Honestly! Stop poking my patients like that!" Tannis huffed. Lilith, startled out of her revere, had nodded and mumbled a "Sorry Tannis. Take care of yourself, Vault Hunter." Vault Hunter. Not Killer. Why did it feel you'd screwed something up? It was probably nothing, right?

So...turns out, it wasn't. Lilith had become increasingly distant. The hugs had stopped, and so had the hand holding. There was some tension in the air, though you didn't know why. Moxxi had assured you, telling you that this is normally how Lilith dealt with feelings, and while it was a comforting thought that your feelings were reciprocated, it still didn't help that Lilith was treating you like this.

After a particularly deadly mission involving the COV, where Tyreen herself had made an appearance. You'd been hurt really bad, but you'd saved the life of innocent people. An explosion had knocked you back, and you'd tried getting up, but had found yourself crushed beneath Troy's boot heel. "Careful Troy. That's my super fan you know! We don't wanna beat her up too bad!"

She'd echo cast your broken and beaten form across the galaxies. "What is up everyone! We've got a special video today. It's my very own superfan, the second biggest heretic in the universe! It's the Firehawk's Dog! Do you have anything to say, Vault Hunter?"

You'd said nothing, glaring at the camera instead. Troy had chosen to plunge a knife inside you, and you'd cried out in pain. "That's what I'm looking for! My my Lilith! You've been working my super fan to the bone! That's supposed to be my job! Well! There's no harm in sharing, right? Sharing is caring after all!" She winks, and smacks the camera with a cackle, and Troy decides, for added dramatics, to twist the knife in more. You scream, and their laughter is the last thing you hear, before you black out.

When you wake up, you're on Sanctuary, or, more accurately, in Tannis' lab. She tells you that the Calypso's had left you for dead in the desert, and that Ellie and Vaughn had helped bring you back. Everyone had been worried sick. It was a miracle you were alive. "Is everyone okay?" You'd croaked out, and Tannis had nodded. "Are you?" She'd asked, and honestly, you were a little sore, but you were fine.

"Lilith was beside herself you know." Moxxi says, and you realize with a start that she's been there the whole time. "After Roland and Maya...well...you can see why she has trouble getting close to people, trouble admitting she has feelings."

You understand what Moxxi means. At first, Lilith's apprehension was understandable. You were a former bandit leader, and she is the leader of the Crimson Raiders. Both of you should be hating the other, yet you'd grown impossibly close. Now, it seemed Lilith was fighting a war with herself, debating whether or not what she felt for you should be pursued.

"I need to see Lilith." You mumble, immediately knowing what you had to do, and ignoring Tannis' protest, you walked to her room. She wasn't there. She wasn't at the bridge either. Giving up, you walked back to your room, where you found her. She was on your bed, holding a picture the two of you had taken on Pandora. She'd looked up, when she saw you walk in, and you were surprised to see tears in her eyes.

For a second, no one moved. Then, slowly, you walked to Lilith, stumbling over to her, and she'd shit to her feet when you finally crossed the distance between the two of you.

Hugging Lilith for the first time in weeks felt amazing. You finally felt complete, as if two halves of a whole were reunited. "Are you okay?" You mumbled, and Lilith spluttered out a laugh. "You got stabbed, crushed under a boot and nearly bled to death, and you're asking me if I'm okay?"

"Yes." You said simply, smiling when you felt Lilith sag against you. "I will be." She whispered, and she was right. Both of you had already been through a lot. Both of you were hurting, but when she broke the hug, leaned in, a kissed you, again and again and again, you knew, that neither of you were okay, but both of you would be. In time.

Whoo! This was way too long for my first imagine, oof. Hope you enjoyed this, and if you did, don't forget to like, follow and obey!! ;) Kidding!!! Seriously though, likes comments and reblogs help us a lot!!! So please yeah? :3

#lilith borderlands #borderlands lilith #lilith x fem reader #lilith x reader #maya borderlands #borderlands #borderlands 2 #borderlands 3 #reader insert #vuxta-zwaki #asks #borderlands spoilers #borderlands 3 spoilers #troy calypso #tyreen calypso #cov #calypso twins #borderlands imagines

[dinoalexander]

The Semi-Quotable 2017, Part 3

... again, Thank you Tumblr... very nearly almost done.

——

"So, using the Monty Hall theorem in current event terms, behind 1 door is Kendrick Lamar, and behind the other 2 doors is Lamar Odom." -Gordon

"I hate to say I told you so, but I don't really." -Amanda

“PLATE TACO!” -Festivus party

"A favor owed is better than money in the bank." -Steve

“STRIKING A NOSE.” -Actual Wheel guess

"A Hemi is not a license to drive like you don't have any sense!" -C

“You’re going to lift this with good form because I don’t want you sitting there with a sore back while you’re face-fucking a pumpkin pie on Thursday.” -... somebody at Shannon’s gym

“I can’t spell today...” -C

“T-O-D-A-Y.” -C’s boss

“It flows like diarrhea.” -Jordan

"No picture, no puss." -drunk Asian gambler

"I traveled 3000 miles to yell numbers at strangers." -TPIR shirt

“What state’s nickname is the Badger State?” -Michael

“My nether regions.” -Christina

“... Between waxings.” -Q

“Personally...I’m a smizer. It lets my soul express it’s happiness without all that pesky wrinkling.” -Jen

“I don’t mean duck! I NEVER MEAN DUCK!” -Q

"Sorry we couldn't get Brad Rutter." -Sara

"An-taaaaaawn Jamison!" -Michelle

“Parents who have massages have children who have massages.” -Q

"GODDAMNIT, PAUL!" -C. It should be noted that no one named Paul was in the vicinity

"I feel like I'm on cocaine, I have so many ideas right now." -Amanda

“Susie, you're going to pay for my hip replacement if you knock me over again!!” -Jules (Dana’s daughter)

“You need to settle down and put your clothes back on.” -Q

“I’ve heard THAT one before.” -Jordan

“Love my beautiful comical sweet babies!!!” -... some girl

“That's my new go-to insult, ya jacknog.” -Tony

“HQ app needs to monitor their fiber intake for a while, because their shit's not together this week.” -Adam

“Pumpkin pie is mah BITCH!” -Laura

"Don't overthink it. It's trivia, not your oral defense." -Michael

“Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.” -Q

"It's like getting C. Diff of the mouth!" -Christina

"Gracefully disconnected." -Cat

“I had fun once. It was awful.” -Grumpy Carter (Molly’s son in a Grumpy Cat mask)

“If you don’t have PMT, you don’t have anything.” -I meant to say “PMA”

"Because this is what you do when you're 37. Dress up like Barbarella and Storm Troopers... and act like idiots on stage covered in glitter." -Shannon

"Molly, ok this is where I bow out of this thread. We all know how flexible you are. Duh." -Jenni Leigh

"Oh fuck me in the ass with a sandpaper lube." -Q

Gordon: "One, two, three..."

C/Joe/Jason: "SORRY, GORDON!"

"That came from the colon." -Steven

"PBS, 1994! I used to watch that all the time; I'm STILL looking for that bitch!" -Tiffany Haddish. The question: "Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?"

“🎶 Spinarak, Spinarak, does whatever a Spinarak does... 🎶” -C & Jordan

"What's the ICD-10 code for demon possession?" -Q

“While working in TV news I was told by management I was a fat loser who should just be grateful anybody put me on camera. I once had to do an extra long traffic and weather break because the female anchor was boning the news director in the building’s gym (they were both married to other people). When all but two traffic cameras went out and I had to use them a lot in a six-hour show, I got screamed at for not using different cameras and when I pointed out there WERE no other cameras, I was screamed at again that they didn’t want to hear any excuses. I’m not saying any of this to justify shitty behavior, I’m saying TV news is a flaming hellhole of a business and most of the people in it are rotten assholes who wouldn’t be welcome in an opium den.” -Drew Harmon

"I beat Gordon, I get his property, and I claim prima nocta on his wife." -C

James: "I'm not that type of guy."

Cindy: "LIES!"

"I need something that will keep me awake and alert and fresh like a daisy. And unlike you, David Muir's come-hither stare isn't going to do it for me!" -C

"... oh shit, is it 6:30?" -Q

"Welcome to the Gordon Pepper Experience." -Gordon

“Maybe your apple crisp is trying to tell you something.” -Angela

“I don’t pay it to tell me anything! It knew what this was.” -C

"Asking me to create the state of the art Jquery menu widget for version 3.2.1 when you have version 1.10 is the equivalent of you telling me to create a program to help steer the best lawn mower of the world capable of shearing acres of land a day and you giving me a goat." -Gordon

“Sarcasm drips from your tongue like drool from a baby’s mouth.” -Ellen

“The sea is emotion incarnate. It loves, hates, and weeps. It defies all attempts to capture it with words and rejects all shackles. No matter what you say about it, there is always that which you can't.” -Christina

"Hey Colorado Board Shorts! Can you please close your legs? We can all see your Denver Nuggets." -C

"Trump's so classy, even his showers are golden." -Jessica

“UNC is going down quicker than Blair St. Clair on a Breathalizer.” -G

"(Jon Snow) is the heir to the Iron Throne... AND THEY'RE BACK TO FUCKING." -C, on "The Dragon and the Wolf"

"Where are the TRASH people?" -Mike

"Karnowski! HE FAT!" -C, on Gonzaga's big man

"Kill it. Kill it dead." -Jordan

"I'm confused. Facebook is stupid." -Cindy

"My opinion, and you can quotewall me on this, is the following: Everyone should be treated equal, which means that the minority should never be empowered to think they are above the majority. Equal? Yes. But not greater than." -G

"How I know I'm getting old: my Facebook wall has, over time, turned from petty angry status updates to woke angry status updates, and babies." -Mama Shrub

"You didn't see the movie. You don't get to make the joke." -me, on "I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!"

"I try to remember things could be worse. I could have been born a Siamese twin about to go on a date with my gay brother....while sharing only one butt." -Leslie

"Imagine Quisla's mind is like a presidential strip club. The sign outside says "43 beautiful men and one ugly one."" -C

“... Still waiting for that cosmo.... Jordan.” -Q

"Asking Trump to denounce white supremacists is like asking a rose bush to denounce Miracle Grow." -Clint

"Sometimes the one way to respect the power of fire is to get burned." -C

"That's so deep Adele is rolling in it." - Jordan

"The only thing I've accomplished today is using my boobs to make a waterfall in the shower." -Leslie

“Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts. It gets everywhere and you can’t get rid of it.” -Q

"We don't ask about the boxers." -C

"SPF 100... for Pasty White Ninja." -Jason

"Aren't you tired of all these bad hair days?" -Cat

"Lady, I haven't had a bad hair day since 1993!" -C

"What the rass happen ta Tiger? 'im all gon' in an' rass up, look like some criminal!" -Q

"Trump is a traitor, Bannon wants to launch the Crusades, Conway is slowly evolving into her final witch form, Spicer is about two days away from spontaneously reenacting the head-explosion scene in SCANNERS, Miller is the psychic projection of every asshole you hated in high school, and Pence calls his wife "Mother" *jazz fingers* The Aristocrats." -Jennifer

"Will whoever left their tequila shot with a lime wedge on our table please come by and retrieve their lime wedge and their shot glass?" -C

"¡Mierdoso!" -Q & Lenora

"That tastes like Tussin." -Tohry

"I'LL BE GOD DAMNED. THERE IS AN ICD-10 CODE FOR DEMON POSSESSION!" -C

"You talk about taking your pants off, and then I have to Skype you." -Jason before WLTI

"You're gonna end up touching someone inappropriately." -Q

TO BE CONCLUDED... eventually.

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from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2CguHwY via Viral News HQ

#IFTTT #Viral News HQ

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source

Sitting On The Couch With A Headache And An Ice Pack On My Head When My Girlfriend Tells Me Not To Move

source

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source

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source

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source

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source

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source

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source

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source

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source

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source

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source

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source

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source

It’s So Cold Right Now That I Can’t Even Flush The Toilet

source

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source

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source

So I’m In The Taco Bell Drive Through And He Jumps Through My Car Window And Into My Lap. Meet Jose

source

A Buck Decided To Lay Down By My University’s Library Windows

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from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2CguHwY via Viral News HQ

#IFTTT #Viral News HQ