#I LOOOOVE THE PERSPECTIVE HERE

[commander-rahrah]

Talking to the Moon

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Word Count: ~5000 (haha.. whoops) Warnings: slightly suggestive for a tiny moment but SFW, swearing, PTSD, trauma, past/implied abuse, fluff, angst, emotional hurt/comfort

archiveofourown: here

masterlist: here

Summary: Set in early Act II. Reader/Tav's origin of their powers is revealed to the party and there is a negative reaction to it. Astarion attempts to comfort reader with his usual routine and provide a "distraction" but gets rejected. He begins to question their own reasoning and feelings, and realizing that he might be feeling something… different.

Note: This is still a GN!Reader/Tav in second perspective with no names or y/n. However, there is some backstory (noble background and a deity) and appearance descriptors (only freckles and hair colour) assigned to the reader/Tav. I really enjoy the dynamic of the moon/stars that I have with my own Tav named Olympia and Astarion and for this particular idea I wrote I felt the backstory was too important to leave out!

I am an avid D&D player and I loooove making OCs (its a problem I have like 30) but this particular backstory and character that this is based off of is very dear to me, so I really hope your enjoy!

.·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨

You were all gathered on the grounds just outside of the Last Light Inn, heading back inside the main doors with Jaheira and Isobel. The safe haven protected from the forces of the Absolute — thanks to you and your companions quick action. The remaining Tieflings and the other inhabitants of the inn still shaken from the sudden attack, but resting safely inside. “I’m thankful you were all here to stop the attack.” The cleric of Selûne said softly. 

Isobel then looked over her shoulder at you, stopping for a moment as she looked you over from head to toe. “And you... I recognize my goddess’s powers within you — but they are so different from mine. Your magic is not born out of devotion for her.”

“What is she talking about?” Shadowheart asked from your side, whipping her head to you so fast her black braid flung out behind her.

You swallowed. You had been dreading this conversation. Fearing the moment it came out. “Yes, I, uh—,” You stumbled over your words, your tongue suddenly heavy in your mouth. “I was blessed by Selûne as a babe.”

Isobel raised her eyebrows, her lips stretching into a slight smile. “A blessing indeed. A drop of Selûne's own powers lives within you. You use it well.”

You bowed your head, your cheeks flushing a bright shade. Embarrassment and chagrin flooding you as every single member of your party turned to face you — varying reactions on all of them.

You eyes were still on your boots as both Isobel and Jaheira bid you a goodnight, telling you of your own rooms upstairs before disappearing amongst the many doors of the inn. The rest of your party quiet — not even Astarion had opened his mouth to fill the silence with a comment or joke.

The voice who broke it was the one you had dreaded the most. Shadowheart’s voice was a harsh whisper, but it still cut you deeply. “I cannot believe you. You’ve been lying to me this whole time!”

You winced, your teeth biting into your cheek, “I wasn’t lying. I just… didn’t tell you.”

“You just didn’t tell me that you are blessed with divine magic from my goddess’ enemy.” The dark-haired cleric scoffed, her nose crinkling so much that the scar across her face shrank considerably.

You thought of all the nights around the campfire sharing soft laughs, the early mornings that you helped braid her hair. This was why you had been avoiding it. You didn't want to lose that. Shadowheart had become a friend, an ally. “I didn’t want to ruin anything, we’ve grown so close and… it’s not like I worship her. I don’t say my prayers to her every night, I was just a babe—“

“Well I do!” She raised her voice, a few passing Harper’s stirring in shock at the outburst before shuffling away. “In Shar’s name. This is unbelievable — I’ve been mere feet away from you this whole time.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But you kept your devotion to Shar a secret and when it did come out all of us have been nothing but accepting.” Your eyebrows were furrowed together in worry. This was going exactly as you had dreaded. You’d hope your friendship would be something she would consider however…

“Alsoooo,” Astarion drawled, “The last time you had a disagreement with one of us, we woke up to you holding a knife to Lae'zel’s neck. Can you really blame them for not bringing it up?” He wagged his fingers at her, a single white brow raised.

Her nostrils flared as she flashed a look to the vampire, before turning back to you. “This is no disagreement. This is wrong, this is against everything my lady stands for."

“Shadowheart, please. You are my friend—“ You began to beg, but the cleric cut you off.

“No. Not anymore. We will continue to travel together to reach Moonrise Towers. We will get rid of these tadpoles and then we are done.” She spat.

“I—,” You choked, unable to think of what else to say. How else to defend yourself. You realized that Shadowheart’s mind was made up, no matter what you said right now.

“Shadowheart,” Astarion cut in again, stepping in front of you almost protectively. “Enough.” His voice a low growl.

Gale and Wyll stepped forward too, concern etched on their face. Karlach’s own features were torn — her eyes flitting between you and Shadowheart with immense worry. Lae'zel remained in the back, her muscular arms crossed over her chest as she observed silently.

The dark haired cleric shook her head, a loud breath escaping her before she stormed off up the stairs. Her armor and weapons clanking loudly as she stormed away.

“Princess, come on!” Karlach shouted after her, starting up the stairs. But she paused for a moment, stretching out to grab your elbow gently. “It’ll be alright giggles, ok? Don’t worry about it.”

You could only nod as you watched the Tiefling chase after her, both of them disappearing upstairs.

“Well, that was hard to watch.“ Wyll murmered, offering you a pained smile.

You waited for the sound of a door slamming above, before turning to head up the stairs yourself. You felt your throat tighten as you fought to keep your tears at bay. "Today was a lot. I think I’m just going to find my room now.” You barely waved goodbye as you took the worn steps two at a time, disappearing from your group without a backwards glance as a few tears broke free.

“Wait, do you need—“ Gale began to trail behind you, his brows knitted together and face pained. 

“Let them be, Gale.” Astarion waved a hand to stop him pursing you up the stairs. “Let them drop the mask for a while. If you go barging in there right away, they will paint a smile on their face and act like everything is fine.”

A look of surprise crossed his face before the wizard let his shoulders slump, “You’re right.”

A sound of delight escaped the vampire, before he cupped his pale fingers around his pointed ear, “I beg your pardon, could you say that again? I didn’t hear you.”

Gale let out a large huff, before he admitted “I said you’re right. I’ll let them be.”

“Oooh, Gale. If you’re trying to woo me, at least buy me dinner first.” Astarion pretended to twirl his hair, before flashing him a wicked grin.

Gale pushed his face into a palm, letting out another exasperated sound. “Gods, save me.”

• • •

You were sat on the bed, your back pressed into the back of the headboard with your knees pressed to your chest. It had been a few hours before the tears had finally stopped, leaving you feeling even more exhausted and drained. You weren’t sure when the news of what lived inside you would come out — but it went exactly as you feared it had. The betrayal and anger on Shadowheart’s face was repeating over and over in your mind. The rest of your party had seemed accepting… but it was hard to tell what exactly they were thinking.

A sudden knock at your door had you scrambling to right yourself, wiping at your damp cheeks and eyes with the back of your hands. You fixed your shirt, and stretched out your legs to look as if you were just relaxing on the bed before letting out, “Come in.”

Your voice sounded much more meek than intended.

Astarion poked his head through the door, a strange combination of both hesitation and curiosity painted across his pale face. “Hello pet,” He purred, lingering in the door way for a moment.

“Astarion, hi.” You sat up a little straighter, surprised to see him. “Come in.”

He shut the door softly behind him, “Feeling any better? Or did Shadowheart come find you for an encore?”

You shook your head, “No, she’s stayed in her room — thank the gods. I don’t think I could handle another moment like that tonight.”

His eyes betrayed him for a moment, glancing to the floor, “Yes, well usually I would say it’s entertaining watching someone else’s drama unfold… but I didn’t enjoy that.”

He swayed over to the bed, sitting on the edge. Not close enough to touch, but you couldn’t help the small fluttering that erupted in your belly as he sat next to you. How casual it seemed, how easy it had become.

You shoved the thought away, instead scrunching your mouth up as you spoke, “I was avoiding it for a reason. I feel terrible... I shouldn't have hidden it for so long.”

“Well, if you were looking for a distraction…” He stretched his hand over to you and drew lazy circles on your knee before dragging it up to your thigh. “I can be of some assistance.” A seductive smile curved his lips, his eyes darkening. 

Your expression crumbled as the crack you had just soothed in your chest starting to form again. “That’s all you see me as, isn’t it?”

“What?” He asked, his hand freezing on your leg.

“Sex. That’s the only way you see me.”

“I—“ His eyes widened with bewilderment, before he blinked at you. “I don’t— I mean.” He continued to stammer, his fanged mouth hanging open in genuine shock.

You let out a sad sigh, your eyebrows furrowing like you were in pain. You were. The ache in your chest was growing tenfold, the familiar feeling of your heart crawling up your throat returning. “I’m not in the mood Astarion. If you want to feed, do it and go.”

He instantly pulled his hand away at your rejection, clutching it to his chest with the other one. He didn’t give an apology, nor did he seem interested in your offer to feed. His red eyes were blinking animatedly, as if confused. Before he bowed his head and got off the bed quickly. Then the sound of the door clicking softly behind him an instant later.

You couldn’t hear his steps in the hall even if you wanted to — so instead you rolled over onto your side, curling your limbs into yourself as you screwed your face up once more and cried.

• • •

Astarion didn’t know what to think. What to do.

No one had ever rejected him before. This is what he did, this is what he was built for. To manipulate. To seduce. 

To play the dazzling, charming distraction. He used to target the lonely, the distressed and upset… it made the hunt so much easier. And Cazador used to praise him for it — he said the miserable and desperate tasted so much better. 

But you weren’t like those easy targets. You weren’t simple, and he should have known better. You were complex and contradictory — not something he appreciated in a target. But something he could appreciate in a fellow person. Things were becoming to muddled, too confusing.

Gods dammit, he had been so foolish. His entire plan could be falling apart now — you sitting up in your room alone mulling everything over. 

But what really bothered him wasn’t the idea of his plan falling apart. That his protection from his old master could be gone by morning, leaving him behind to suffer the consequences.

No, what really bothered him, what he was really afraid of was how upset you’d been. That he was the cause of that.

Astarion's skin felt hot and crawling as he realized he had treated you as others had treated him all these years. Trying to use your desire as a way to override any other feeling. To seduce you into acquiescence, to fool you into thinking you needed only him. It disgusted him, what he’d done. Shame coursed through him and his fingers clenched onto his leather clad knee. 

He was grateful for the little dark attic he had found above the barn — grateful to be away from the prying eyes of the rest of the party. He couldn't explain this to them, he wouldn't. 

A splash of wet splashed onto the back of his hand and he realized he was crying. He'd forgotten he could do that. He'd stopped so many years ago, numbing and willing himself so that none would come. So that despite the pain or hurt he was feeling, his tears would not be there to give Cazador anymore satisfaction. His master didn't need anymore physical evidence of his anguish — his screams and blood and broken body was enough. He had stopped crying years ago. Until tonight. 

Wiping his face, he took a steadying breath he knew he didn't need. And then again for good measure. He wasn't really sure what he was doing, but he stood up with a slightly trembling body.  He needed to fix this. For you. For himself. 

Before he knew it he was back outside of your door, his fist hovering just above the painted wood. His other hand was picking at the seam of the side of his leather pants nervously. His red eyes stared at the little tray of food he'd brought up for you — resting on the hallway table as he waited to see if you would even let him in. A peace offering he'd thought. A way to get his foot in the door before he could… explain. Apologize. 

Chewing his lip, he finally let his knuckles rap on the door. He lingered for a moment, before opening it slightly. The small crack in the door angled enough to reveal you still laid in the bed, your back to the door as you were curled up on the mattress. Guilt flooded through him all over again. 

“Gale, I told you I’m fine—"

He pushed the door open a little more, just enough so that is creaked to get your attention. He only poked his head through, enough for you to see his pale face as you strained your neck to look over your shoulder. 

“Oh. It’s you.”

Astarion swallowed at the sound of your disappointment. It was not something he ever wished to hear again if he could. His lashes fluttered against his cheeks as he looked down, unable to look you in the eye, “Will you let me try again?”

“What?”

He finally looked up, his red eyes round and soft, “Let me try again.”

You gave him a hard to read look, before nodding curtly. 

Astarion grabbed the door, not closing it fully but just enough that the lock bounced softly back. His pale knuckles knocked again gently, before he heard you let out an exasperated breath. “Come in.”

A sheepish, tight lipped smile spread across his face as he stepped fully into the room and looked at you. You were sitting up in the bed now, your arms crossed over yourself with an unimpressed look on your face. He used his foot to close the door quietly as he held his peace offering behind him. 

“I won’t bother you, if you don’t want company. But I noticed you hadn’t eaten. I brought you dinner.” He pulled the tray out from behind his back, showing it to you. 

“Oh.”

“And a glass of wine.” He placed everything carefully onto the nightstand, before backing away towards the door. “It’s disgusting.”

A soft laugh escaped you, “Thank you." You took a small sip of the wine, before twisting your face. “Ugh — you are right, that is disgusting.”

“I’m almost certain I saw those Tiefling children your so fond of mixing it themselves. Pray this is a part time gig and they don’t become bartenders in the future.”

The two of you let snickers out through your noses, before the room turned quiet again. “Thank you for bringing this up. I mean it.”

“You’re very welcome.” He shuffled his feet, unsure if that was a dismissal or not. But he also found himself not wanting to leave. His hands were behind his back, his own fingers intertwining and squeezing tightly. “I’m… I’m sorry for how you were treated today. It wasn’t fair.”

Your eyes flashed down, your brow crinkling. “It’s okay—“

Astarion shook his head profusely, “No, it’s not. You didn’t deserve that. You don’t owe any of us anything — not your story, or … or anything else. What you decide to tell us, what you trust us with... that is your choice.” 

“Thank you. It’s not that I don’t trust you all, I do… I just.”

He cut you off gently, “You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I know.” Your finger was playing with the rim of the wine glass in mesmerizing circles, over and over. “I do, trust you though.”

His red eyes lifted from your hands, to give you a quizzical look, “Now, why in the heavens would you do that?”

Your laugh was music to his ears. Full and bright. You shrugged, putting the glass back onto the nightstand — abandoning it and the dinner for another moment. “I just do.”

The vampire couldn't stop the purr that escaped his lips, “Hmmm, other members of our merry party would disapprove.”

“Probably. I think they disapprove of most of my interactions with you.” You said quietly, picking at the blanket you were sat upon. 

The room filled with silence for a moment as you thought. “I was just a baby… when it happened. I was born ill — so weak and tired, it was almost like I was a dead. My parents threw all of their power and wealth at every scholar and healer they knew to try and cure me.”

Astarion’s eyebrows shot up as you spoke, joining you carefully on the bed. Much further then his previous visit. His hands settled onto his own lap as he listened. 

“Nothing would work. And with every failed attempt, father become more and more distant. And mother became more and more desperate, hoping for any miracle she could find. She began to pray to any God that would listen, traveling to their shrines and statues. One night, my mother had fallen asleep crying while kneeling next to me. She said she awoke to a breeze and silver light — and the most beautiful woman she had ever seen was standing over us. Her hair was set in long silver waves, a flowing dress cascading over her curves, and a small smile on her lips as she watched the scene of mother and child. 'Selûne?' My mother asked, and the ethereal woman merely smiled again. 'I heard your prayers and felt your tears as if they were mine own. No mother should know the loss of their child.' As I slept, she touched my hair lightly, telling my mother I was pure and good-hearted. Selûne told her that she would help me, but that I would have a calling that would lead me away from my normal life of nobility and comfort. After my mother agreed, a white light shone through the Goddess’ hand, spreading into my hair, into my body and creating an aura around me. My hair turned silvery white, and star-like freckles began to shine all over my skin.” Your fingertips danced across your face, touching the skin that showed the blessing. 

Astarion was gobsmacked, his eyes lingering over your silver hair and the freckles that dusted your nose and cheeks. His mind struggling to keep up with the information. “So, what Isobel said is true… a drop of Selûne's power lives in you?”

You nodded your head weakly, avoiding his stare. 

“Gods… Why tell me this?”

You only offered a soft smile, “I wanted you to know.”

A thousand thoughts were running through his mind — most of them selfish. He'd prayed to the Gods every night for years, asking, begging, willing them to save him. To give him a swift death. Anything. And never received an answer back. But Selûne had for you.

But now that he knew you, he could think of no one else who would deserve it. He couldn't bare to think what the world would have been like if you had been taken away so early. Where he would be now if he hadn't met you on the cliffside after that damn ship. “Well, it seems that you truly are walking poetry, darling. Our little moon shining a light on all of us.”

He swore he saw you bottom lip tremble at the name. 

"Let me tell the others, when I'm ready?" You asked quietly. 

"Of course." 

The room fell into silence again, but it was more comfortable then before. Astarion found himself lost in his thoughts — a confusing melody of haunting memories, and wishful thoughts. 

“You never answered my question before.”

“Hmm?” Your voice had him blinking back to reality, turning his body to look over at you. 

“About… how you see me.” Your eyes were big and vulnerable. They tugged at his heart, at the knot in his stomach that formed with the thought of you.

“Oh," Was all he could get out. 

“I—I just,” Your voice was feint and nervous, your eyes studying the features of his face intently. 

“Don’t ask now.” He blurted, his fingers clenching into a tight fist on his lap. 

“What?”

“Give me time. Please.” He begged gently. 

Your eyes softened, before you nodded in silent understanding. “I can do that.”

Relief flooded him, his fingers relaxing and shoulders drooping. 

You seemed content on letting it drop, instead grabbing the plate of food next to you and balancing it on your knee. “Where is my roommate for the evening?” You asked, before taking a bite. 

“Lae'zel? Oh she deemed the lodgings unacceptable and that she would rather die than join us soft-skinned weaklings in a room. She set up a tent out front in the dirt.”

You finished chewing, before grinning. “That… checks out.”

“So you get a luxurious evening alone. At least one of us does." He feigned a frown, before waving his hands dramatically, "I get to spend the night listening to Gale and Wyll snore.” He rolled his eyes before speaking again. "I will say charming Wyll did volunteer to sleep on the floor so I could have half the bed, bless him.”

“You could stay here if you want. To sleep, I mean.” You offered easily, pushing the food around your plate with the fork as you waited for him to reply. 

He blinked again, caught off guard by your proposal. “Oh, that’s not necessary—“

“Astarion, really? You’ll share with Gale, but not with me?” You teased, a single eyebrow arching. 

He stared at you for a moment, dumbfounded before nodding, “Alright. Eat your dinner. I’ll get my things.” 

• • •

Slinking into his room, Astarion left out a sigh of relief as he realized it was empty. He needed a moment to ground himself and stop his spinning head. He had no idea what today would bring, but this whirlwind of a night was not at all what he had expected. He started grabbing his night clothes he had laid out on the bed in his shared room with Wyll and Gale, stuffing them into his rucksack. 

But he bristled as he heard steps approaching, looking over his shoulder to see  his two fellow male companions enter the room. 

“Ahhh, they you are Astarion. We wondered where you scurried off too.” The wizard spoke, tucking the book he had in his hands into the crook of his arm instead. 

“Oh, I found better company than the likes of you.” He shot back sarcastically — earning an eye roll from Gale. 

“Did you now?” The warlock asked with eyebrows raised, before bending down to his own pack to untie his bedroll from it. 

“Don’t bother with the bed roll tonight, Wyll. You’ll have to keep Gale warm tonight.”

"Where are you off too?" Gale asked, his brows furrowed. 

Wyll studied him carefully, before offering a little smirk to the vampire. “Off to sleep under the stars?”

“Amongst them actually.” Astarion replied, keeping his face perfectly neutral. As if to not give anything away.  

Wyll gave him a knowing look. “You be a gentleman, yeah?”

“Aren’t I always?” He said with a little bow before grabbing his bag and slinking out of the room. 

• • •

Your room was very quiet when he emerged back in it. Your empty dinner plate was sat on the edge of the nightstand, the glass of wine mostly untouched expect for that first single sip. The candles were starting to flicker with their last remaining life, the glow now a deep set orange instead of a bright yellow light. 

You had stepped behind the privacy screen as you changed, only the outline of your figure  could be seen through the sheer material stretched across the wood. He’d seen your naked body before, as you’d seen his — several times by now, actually. But he respected the privacy  — appreciated it actually. There was something quite raw about getting undressed in front of someone like this. Something vulnerable.

Something he wasn’t quite ready for.

Realizing he had been staring at that screen and your outline, he sat his bag down on the dresser and began sorting through his things. He heard the soft pads of your feet across the worn floorboards, before the creak of the bed as you laid in it. He turned around with a fake cough, his own night clothes in his pale hands. “May I?” He jerked his head towards the screen.

You simply nodded, turning on your side away from the screen to face the ajar window instead. 

He changed efficiently, tugging on the delicate breezy nightclothes before padding bare feet to place his folded clothes on top of his rucksack. He swallowed thickly as he turned to survey the room, to the large space you left in the double bed — intended for him. 

"I don't bite." You muttered with your eyes still closed. Like you could sense him hesitating. 

He barked a laugh, before moving to his side. "Cheeky pup." He slid into the bed, savoring the feeling of the soft sheets on his skin, the way the mattress hugged his tired and sore body. He hadn't slept in a real bed in ages, in well — he couldn't remember how long. He thought he had gotten used to the small comfort of his bed roll and tent these past weeks, especially when he compared it to the stone floor of Cazador's dungeon and kennels. But remembering the simple luxury of this room and bed would put his tent to shame once he returned to it. His pale fingertips rubbed the soft fabric covering his body, committing to memory. 

You adjusted yourself next to him, moving your pillow in a way that wafted your scent throughout the room. It made his movements stop, frozen as his senses were overwhelmed by you. You smelled sweet and warm — inviting. And it had nothing to do with the scent of your bouquet that usually clouded his mind. Licking his lips, he forced himself to look away from you — instead looking up at the dark ceiling, as the last flickers of the surviving candle in the room began to fade away. 

"Good night, Astarion." You mumbled into your pillow, your voice already sounding heavy with sleep. 

"Sweet dreams darling." He whispered back. 

You had fallen asleep next to each other before, of course — laid out in that forest or on the sands of a beach after wondering off away from the others to have your way with each other. 

This... this was different. 

He couldn’t will himself to fall into a trance. No matter how hard he tried. Instead he was still staring up at the grays and blacks of the dark ceiling, becoming more and more increasingly aware of your breaths and the thrum of your heartbeat. 

Only once he had heard them slow down, only once he knew you were in a deep sleep, did he chance looking over to you.

Your face was peaceful, serene as you slept. He wasn’t sure if it was actual moonlight trickling in, or just the cleric Isobel’s protective aura that had cast the blueish white light into the room. But either way it was resulted in Selûne’s power, and even in your sleep you were basking in it. The freckles that marked your checks and nose were almost glittering in the light. The silvery white of your hair shimmering. Your soft lips slightly parted as you dreamed.

Gods, you were beautiful.

Astarion closed his eyes as he was suddenly reminded of his times stuck in those wretched dungeons in the palace. Not what torture or pain he had to endure there. No. For once, that was buried away.

No, instead he recalled what he stared at to get him through those never ending sessions of abuse and torment. 

The night sky through those barred windows. 

The stars, somehow still blinking and winking from him through the city smoke and light. 

And the moon. That beacon of light in the black sky — constantly changing its shape and colour. But it was always there when he needed it to be. When he needed to look up, to be somewhere else, to think of something else — the moon was always there.

Shining. Listening. Understanding.

His eyes opened again, staring again at your tranquil face, your slumbering form curled into the soft bed and sheets.

You were so much more than he had bargained for. A companion blessed with a drop of an actual god’s power. He should have been thrilled — that his plans for protection and well-deserved justice on Cazador was even easier to achieve than he first thought. 

No. Instead he realized he was feeling something else. Something… new.

That even though he had missed the sun, longed for it for two hundred years, delighted in the colours it cast the world in it. That even though he could finally enjoy the sun's beam, and bask in the it's warmth and golden glow. Despite all that, he knew that the sun would never understand him like the moon did.

Oh shit.

He had royally fucked up his plan.

Part II: here

#bg3 astarion #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion fanfic #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x gn reader #baldur's gate astarion #bg3 fanfic #astarion/reader #astarion/tav

[randomyuu]

the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

My guy Vox once again graced us with lovely Goyuu fanfics, and the way it follows you home, the stories i never told, made me go FERAL.

Time travel? Two Gojou Satorus? Double affection for our sunshine Yuuji? Yuuji sandwich? What feels like possible continuation of (you'll whisper, serpent tongue) what you fear you have become???

FUCK.

I need to stop indulging my imagination too much. I should’ve been content with writing long-ass comments but noooooo, my brain goes “you gotta draw it”. DAMMIT VOX, YOU AND YOUR DELICIOUS WRITINGS HHHHHH

So… usually I should’ve picked a favourite scene that is within my drawing capability, but I just… love all three chapters??? So I made a questionable time investment? I can’t stop??? Help???

This is probably the most ambitious fanart project I’ve ever done so far. Fair enough, considering I might combust if I keep these welled-up emotions inside from reading Vox’s Goyuu fics. Fuck.

Fic info:

Title: the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

Author: @voxofthevoid

Pairing: YuuGoGo. Future!Yuuji, Future!Gojou, Teen!Gojou

(idk why I laugh writing YuuGoGo. I’m beyond help)

Currently, it is 3 chapters out of 8. And it’s gonna be NSFW chapter 4 onwards, so don’t forget to read the tags first, folks!

The drawings are under Read More, because I have lots of thoughts surrounding each chapter and drawings. It’ll be hella long if I didn’t hide it here. It was a mess down there. A combination of hours before, during, and after I read said fic. I’d say good luck finding the art among the sea of jumbled words but… you’ll find them easily. Don’t worry about it haha

SPOILERS FOR ALL 3 CHAPTERS! I highly recommend reading those first before diving into these drawings!

Also for the comics, read from right to left please!

From here on, I will be referring to the Future!Gojou as Gojou and the teenage one as Satoru.

Overall, drawing all these is fun! Really fun! This project pushed me quite hard, forcing me to test my limit (because I rarely draw this much back to back). Since this is a combination of drawings and comics, the coloring style will not be consistent. In a way, I want to try some brushes I never get to use, as well as try out my new graphic tablet. Drawing these got me giggling because I was finally able to let loose during line art. It's much easier to do so, and sometimes I just get to reread the fic and giggle to myself for the nth time.

CHAPTER 1:

Whooo. Whooooooooo—

Ok, ok, the premise is just that good. It intrigued me, fascinated me, and I just… oomph. I cannot refuse a Time Travel Yuuji Sandwich. Sign me up.

Honestly, there are two scenes that are just… a bit too clear in my mind when reading this chapter. That would be the one I drew above, and the other is when Yaga called Gojou to come outside of the class. I love, loooove how Vox wrote Satoru’s POV. And when Yuuji fucking giggles?

I lost it.

Can you imagine, drawing Yuuji grins, with shiny stuff, maybe some sunlight, just purely happy and indulging Gojou?

Help me, for I am drowning in my love and adoration for Yuuji.

Page 2 is an experiment on using harsh black as shading (kind of?). I really enjoyed colouring Yuuji, and drawing those buffalo skulls! I wish I can grasp the concept of contrast a bit better tho :v

CHAPTER 2:

This is probably the only chapter where I picture still images instead of comic panels. A bit like those cool chapter covers in mangas. The one I really, really want to draw is the scene with Satoru on the table. Can’t pass the opportunity to highlight Satoru being a brat, albeit a really cool brat.

Cool idea drawing always proves to be a challenge, because of course my artistic skill just so happens to be below the requirement. Thank you, Sketchfab, for the chair and desk’s perspective otherwise I’m screwed lmao

The second scene that I want to draw the most is this:

Gojou is one step away from climbing Yuuji. Also, I have a bit of a problem picturing a man pouting that makes him look crazy instead, so please have Gojou pouting adorably instead. Because, as Yuuji said (with love), Gojou is (also) a brat.

This is possibly my favorite art in this project, after Yuuji's in Chapter 1 page 2. It's clean because I don't have to draw background, and I was having a fun time drawing Yuuji. And Gojou's squishy cheek as well.

Oh, actually, there is a “manga” scene in this chapter. It’s when Yuuji said, “I love Satoru.”

I just—

AAAAAHHHHH YUUJIIIIIII YOU AND VOX ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME. That secure relationship between Yuuji and Gojou? Satoru’s description of how Yuuji’s smile could blot out the sun??? Not me screaming 💀 I also see bits of hints of possible co-dependency, though I could be reading those wrong, but either way I’m good. Secure and possessive relationships are fun to consume hhhhhh

But yeah. There are too many wholesome Yuuji smiles in this fic, and I… I am not confident enough to draw genuine happiness. It’s too much for me ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

For this chapter, another reason why I chose these two scenes is just because I want to try and draw cover-worthy pictures of Yuuji and Satoru, and Yuuji and Gojou (cough)

CHAPTER 3:

We start the chapter with Nanamin. Ah, Nanamin. I forgot what his teen self looked like and was surprised to see his design again lmao

I want to draw Yuuji and Nanami scene because… I just want to, I guess. I have never drawn him before (Yaga as well) so that's an interesting challenge. I got two ideas on how I want to draw it. One is a bit painting-esque, and the other one is like another chapter cover. In the end, I chose the cover one because I want to emphasise the difference between teen!Nanami and the Nanami from Yuuji’s original timeline, and how the watch feels like a connection between the same (yet not) person. It’s a bittersweet feeling? In a way?

I’m not really good at explaining my intention ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

I love Yuuji’s answer to Nanami's question.

AND FINALLY.

A Yuuji SandwichTM scene.

And oh B O I do I love it. Have I told you I like every chapter? I probably have. But this one? Satoru’s curiosity, Yuuji’s on-brand self-deprecation, and Gojou come strolling down to show more of Yuuji to his mini-self. I want to draw this whole scene, from Gojou finding them, feeding Yuuji snacks, bitch-slapping Satoru into the backroom, to Yuuji growling. Them trying to hide a boner from Yuuji’s growl got me cackling so hard I LOVE IT 😭

I love it all. Please love Yuuji in my stead, Satoru and Satonyan :3

Oh! Also! 40-finger Yuuji sounds really, really cool! I’ll be happy with whatever Vox will give us in future chapters, but 40-finger Yuuji… possible scene with this timeline’s Sukuna… my god. The action! The drama! The bloodshed! One can only hope.

However, as much as I love that whole scene, it’s still too much for me :”) I’m still not yet confident in delivering the humour and action. Also my already-long drawing plan had my brain groaning in protest so I can’t push my luck :'D

When Gojou said "He looks sweet, but he's a bit of a beast", I kept picturing Yuuji staring innocently, but there was an edge to his look. As if the moment Satoru looks away, he will pounce. But in the end I just stick with innocent-looking Yuuji because I accidentally drew his eyes that way and I want to keep it in lol

Since Satoru points out how soft and cuddly Yuuji is, I also want to draw soft Yuuji :v

And the last one… is the last scene. For some reason, I read that both Gojou and Satoru share Yuuji’s lap and was having a frustrating yet fun time figuring out how it’s… physically possible, without having their butts on the ground because they both are not small at all. As I lined the art, I reread it again and… perhaps I read it wrong? Satoru is beside Yuuji, and not on his lap? So yeah, this one might be the least accurate, but hey, at least you can view it as a crack drawing or something :v

AAAANNNDDD I HAVE EXCEEDED TODAY’S BRAIN CAPACITY OF FORMING WORDS

Have I told you I love this fic?

…I probably have.

Have an amazing week (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

#yuu's art #jjk-fic-fanart #jjk ship #jjk-ship #五悠 #goyuu #goyu #5u #gojou x yuuji #speedrun this bad boy of a project in 3 days #from planning #now I can sleep in peace

[desire-mona]

this most definitely isnt an original thought and i've probably heard it on a podcast before but. i am so married to todd's sweaty tooth madman poem being a metaphor for not accepting being gay.

so here's me picking the whole thing apart (and not proofreading anything)

so starting with

the sweaty toothed madman of course being walt whitman, who we all know is (at least rumoured to be) gay. now the interpretation of whitman being a metaphor for todd's sexuality is nothing new, but i'd like to expand on it.

"i close my eyes and this image floats beside me"

i see this as any moment todd has to himself, no matter where he is, he is reminded whitman/ the fact that he's gay. the specific usage of closing your eyes to mean that the image/ reminder is always there, always following. i see the use of the words "beside me" in a couple different ways. either to suggest that the reminder is just out of view, being pushed away just enough to not be the main focus and more something you see in your peripheral, or in a 3rd person perspective, seeing todd and the imagery of walt beside eachother, coinciding with eachother. i could see both interpretations working equally as well, or even comined.

"the sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain"

THIS LINE. i loooove his use of sweaty toothed!!!!!

if you're not sure what sweaty toothed means, it just kinda means ur teeth r. wet. drooly mouth. i see this madman being sweaty toothed to mean that he's "hungry", not literally, but more desiring something. this being truth, which i'll get into later.

the stare that pounds my brain. oh man. ok so obviously this means that the image/ thought is intimidating, terrifying, threatening. the implication that todd being gay is as much of a threat to his life/ wellbeing as a madman that has it out for him, both ideas causing him an insane amount of stress.

this line is fairly simple to me, the reminder goes from something that terrifies you but ultimately can go unacknowledged, to a constant, overbearing thought that suffocates you enough that you HAVE to face it in some way or another. todd is facing it fearfully, letting it take control of him and how he acts rather than tackling the idea himself. he is defenseless against this part of him

truth (ur gay)

todd thinkin this truth will leave him unsatisfied in life :-( not only in the love sense tho! with his family too, if they find out god forbid, theyll surely view him differently and cast him off even farther than they already do. i also like to think this is him lowkey complaining that the blankets at welton are too small.

this also, devastatingly enough, reminds me of the bit from rocketman where elton comes out to his mom.

clip from rocketman (2019)

and he's mumbling. he's mumbling! this truth is still cloudy, not full realised, still being pushed away. whitman wants the truth, todd wants the truth, but he's still not ready, everything's still uncertain. this uncertain truth could also pertain to todd's feelings toward neil specifically, but i dont think that was the intention. todd does exist as his own person!

this ones simple again. you can fight off your feelings and sexuality all you want but it still wont really lead you anywhere you wanna be. you either end up marrying someone you dont love (women), or you end up alone. also the heavy emphasis on physical violence toward the Truth Blanket could be a metaphor for the physical danger todd would be in if anyone found out, but im not hellbent on that idea.

god. "from the moment we enter crying, to the moment we leave dying," is a BEAUTIFUL way to convey "your entire life" todd you have such a way with words. anyway. i take this as something like. this is something you're born with and cant change, todd was born gay, obviously, and it will never go away with any amount of effort. hence the wailing, crying, and screaming.

also i view the specific line of "it will just cover your face" in a couple different ways. either to mean this truth will suffocate you no matter what you do, or this truth will leave you needing to hide major parts of yourself from the world.

this got a bit repetitive, i apologise. but i still have more to say.

some parts of this poem i find to be a bit too wordy to have been come up with on the spot. do i think todd is talented enough to do so? absolutely! but i just dont think that's the case. i have no doubt in my mind that a LOT of what he said in front of the class was either already on his mind, or was written down beforehand but eventually scrapped.

specifics i have in mind are the concepts of a sweaty toothed madman and a blanket that leaves your feet cold. i dont think this sweaty toothed madman was written specifically with whitman in mind, i think it was just a vessel for his anxiety generally. but the blanket i just KNOW was thought out and written down with the intention to like. be a metaphor for being unsatisfied.

and that only makes the class laughing at that line that much worse, no wonder he wanted to stop! not only was todd incredibly brave for continuing after, but keating was unimaginably quick to get the focus back to the poem. he knew that metaphor meant something to todd, and choosing to expand on that was actually an amazing way to drive that home.

either way, todd's far more brave than i ever could be. i'd be shitting myself up there.

also if u disagree with any of these points are wanna add anything then TELL MEEEE!!! art is anything but subjective and i looove seeing how you guys view things like this.

#desire mona #once again. i am todd anderson #and keating #what a nightmare kin combo actually #dead poets society #media #todd anderson #anderperry #banger

[moonstruckme]

hi mae!! i saw ur anon earlier abt which characters u have reqs for rn and u mentioned not having any for tasm!peter, which i think is a crime, so i’m here to change that!

i looooved your marauders fic where reader came out as nonbinary (im enby myself) and i was wondering how that would go with peter? maybe during the stage where they both know they like each other, but haven’t officially started dating yet, and reader comes out to him as what they see as a “warning”. i’m openly enby but still present as very femme, so whenever there’s even an inkling of romance between me and a guy i’m always like “oh they dont know im enby. if i tell them they’re not gonna like me anymore, but also, this is who i am”. of course, no need to write this if you aren’t comfortable/not feeling inspired by it!! thank you love 🫶🏽🫶🏽

Hi gorgeous, thank you for requesting! I'm always a bit worried about these because I can only really try to imagine the enby experience from my outsider's perspective, so please lmk if there are any inaccuracies and/or insensitivities :)

tasm!Peter Parker x nb!reader ♡ 1.1k words

You’re constructing your lego flowers at about half Peter’s pace. Peter’s a whiz with everything, and you thought you were used to it, but the way he’s leaving you in his dust is borderline humiliating. He barely even has to look at the instructions, while you’re turning them over in your hands, glancing repeatedly between the paper and the small plastic pieces strewn between you on the couch. 

It might have something to do with your lack of focus. Which might have something to do with Peter being in especially flirty form today. 

It’s no secret that the two of you have feelings for each other. You have for a while, and you’ve both been aware of it for almost as long. Until today, neither of you seemed prepared to do anything about it. But something feels different. Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you, quick glances through his lashes as he talks, or the way his friendly touches seem more intentional than usual, or the fact that he’d wanted to build lego flowers with you because he thought you’d like it, despite you never having exhibited any interest in legos in your life. 

None of it is unwelcome. You want to enjoy it, but the escalation makes your palms sweat. It makes it seem like something is going to happen, some change, and you haven’t been honest with him yet. You feel like a time bomb. Or a mirage. Peter thinks he’s getting one thing with you, and then you lift the veil to reveal that you’re something else entirely. You feel like you have an obligation to clue him in before he makes any kind of move. And you’re scared of missing your window, but you have no idea when it’s passing. 

“I think you’re missing this one.” Peter’s hand moves over your lap, depositing a lego piece. 

You look up at him, returning his smile. “Thanks,” you say. “This is super unfair, by the way. You’ve got years of experience on me.” 

“It’s not a competition,” he laughs, looking at you in that way again. Warm, sunny, and something else. He holds his finished product out to you, a plasticky snapdragon. “Here, add it to our bouquet.” 

You take it from him compliantly, picking up the vase you’d dug out from your cabinet to hold the growing selection of plastic flowers. You can feel Peter’s eyes on you, and your hands shake a little as you arrange it among the others. If he puts on smooth jazz and starts lighting candles, you’ll bolt. 

“You’re gonna have a whole collection by the time we’re done here,” he says, and you hum in affirmation. His smile fades a bit. “Are you hungry? I could make us some dinner.” 

You aren’t, really, but you ought to be. You suspect your appetite’s just clogged up with nerves. “Sure, I could eat.”

Peter hops up, seeming happy to have something to do. “Okay, sick.” He starts going through cabinets, energy zinging off him in every direction. “We have frozen pizza! Or, uh, leftover thai food, or mac and cheese. Ooh, and we’ve got breadcrumbs! We could crust up the mac and cheese, if we’re feeling fancy.” He looks at you, raising his eyebrows comically high. 

“We can be fancy,” you say, trying to imitate his teasing tone. 

You don’t think you pull it off very well. Peter frowns and sets the boxed mac and cheese down on the counter. 

“Hey, are you okay?” You must look startled, because he softens the question with a smile. “You just seem a little spacey today. Is…are you having fun?” 

“I am,” you say, perhaps too quickly. Your voice is tinged with desperation. You try again, more sincerely. “I am, Pete. This is fun. I’m sorry, I’m just a little out of it.” 

“That’s okay.” He makes his way back over to the couch, folding a leg underneath him as he sits. His eyes are earnest on yours. Reassuring, even though he doesn’t know what there is to reassure yet. “What’s eating you?” 

You try to look casual, make your tone sound offhand. “Have I mentioned that I’m nonbinary?” 

Peter blinks. “Uh, no. I don’t think so.” 

“Oh.” You grin, shrugging. Every move you make feels stilted and embarrassing. “Well, I am. I’ve just been thinking I should make sure you knew, just in case you didn’t.” 

“Okay.” He seems a bit stunned, but he hasn’t broken eye contact with you. And Peter’s not looking at you like he’s seeing through the veil. He’s looking at you the way he always has. “Are you—is this your way of trying to tell me that you want me to use different pronouns for you?” 

“What?” you laugh. “No. I’m not trying to tell you anything, just…I like you, and I didn’t want to, like, trap you in anything if you didn’t know.” The levity saps from your tone as you go on, until your voice is painfully quiet. “I understand if you don’t like me anymore. It’s cool.” 

“What?” Peter repeats you, but the delivery is off. He sounds gutted. “Why would you think that?” 

You shrug. You’re doing your best to look normal, but your face is burning something awful. 

“You’re not—” he shakes his head. “You’re not trapping me in anything. Sweetheart.” Peter surges into your corner of the couch, crowding you as much as hugging you. Mindless of the viscous little plastic pieces biting into his knees. He smells like laundry detergent. “Thank you for telling me,” he says, face an inch from your ear, “but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. Sorry to disappoint.” 

You laugh, the sound embarrassingly choked. He rubs your back roughly. 

“I can tell this is you just trying to get out of things,” he goes on with impressive lightness, “and I really hate to tell you this, but you’re stuck with me. We have a lego bouquet now. Those are binding.” You laugh again, and Peter’s voice drops to a more sincere register. “Thanks for telling me though, really.” He releases you, or partly, hands sliding down your shoulders to rest on the crooks of your elbows. “I like getting to know you. I’ll take whatever new material you want to give me.” 

“Thanks,” you say softly. You muster your confidence, taking his forearms in your hands and giving them a friendly squeeze. “I didn’t realize the lego flowers were a contract, though. I think I may want to renegotiate my terms.” 

Peter blows out a breath, shaking his head. “Sorry, can’t help you. There’s no backing out now.”

#tasm!peter parker #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker x you #tasm!peter parker x y/n #tasm!peter parker x self insert #tasm!peter parker fanfiction #tasm!peter parker fanfic #tasm!peter parker fic #tasm!peter parker fluff #tasm!peter parker hurt/comfort #tasm!peter parker imagine #tasm!peter parker drabble #tasm!peter parker blurb #tasm!peter parker scenario #tasm!peter parker one shot #tasm!peter parker oneshot #tasm peter parker #tasm!spiderman #the amazing spiderman #nb!reader #tasm!peter parker x nb!reader

[clovermunson]

morgan, my sweet!! bringin’ on the heartbreak has caught my eye, and i’d love to hear your best fluffy finnick headcanons. what would it be like to spend new years with him? would he love it or hate it?

savvy, my love!! i’m so happy you requested finnick headcanons, because you know better than anyone that i could talk about this man for hours on end and never get tired. he’s got me gnawing at the bars of my enclosure. but you’ve asked for fluffy headcanons, so i’m gonna deliver. some of these are just general headcanons, some are x reader, so there’s some variety here, folks.

i’ve included them all under the cut, because it’s quite a bit.

join the party!

— so first off, i think that finnick prefers to stay in on new year’s. he loves the new year because to him that means new opportunities and a renewed sense of hope. he just doesn’t care much for parties, huge crowds, and obnoxiously loud music. not to mention, the capitol really ruined him when it came to those kinda things (i’m sorry that got a little sad). but he much prefers a quiet night in, enjoying your company and most definitely eating all of the leftover holiday sweets so they won’t “go to waste”

— speaking of eating all the sweets, he never passes up the chance to help out with baking. sure it’s a chore to keep him from eating everything before it’s finished, but he does his fair share. he’s just a got a sweet tooth, he can’t help it. “don’t you think i deserve a treat for helping?” he’ll ask as he’s already taking a bite from a cupcake before you even get the chance to answer. and he’s right, he does deserve it.

— finnick can cook at least decently. if there’s a night where you don’t feel like making dinner, he’ll cook and he won’t complain about it at all. but you better believe he’s treating it like he’s a world-class chef and he’s asking you to taste test everything (because let’s be honest, he’s not the best, but he’s trying)

— finnick is a cuddly sleeper. this is just a known fact. if he’s having a particularly rough night because of the nightmares, he’ll nuzzle closer to you and hold you just a little tighter.

— he loves loves looooves having his hair played with. it’s calming to him, and just puts him in a relaxed trance that eventually ends up lulling him into sleep.

— finnick odair is tough. as tough as they come, really. he has experienced incomprehensible horrors and he’s strong and well-built, but he’s the softest, most gentle man to ever live. a big 'ol softie. a total teddy bear, some might say.

— of course i think it goes without saying, but he’s a romantic. so much to the point that it would be nauseating from an outsider’s perspective.

— anyway. i also think it’s a given that he’s scarily protective over his loved ones. which is a little shocking, considering his general calm and pleasant demeanor.

— he’s the most unserious person ever. sure he knows when to be serious, but does he want to always be that way? no, because that’s boring. this man giggled over his own “death”, i mean c’mon.

— this man cannot keep himself away from water. any chance he has, he’s in the ocean because it’s comforting to him to be one with the water.

— he’s the most considerate person ever. he’s always thinking about what his loved ones would think about any given situation, and he’s always finding ways to make things easier for them if he can.

— his primary love language is words of affirmation, because despite projecting such a confident exterior, he’s riddled with insecurities and hearing that he’s more than enough or any receiving any praises in general makes him feel like he’s genuinely loved. but it’s closely followed by physical touch, because he’s also a very touchy person when it comes to who he loves, and he gives the best hugs because of it. what i wouldn’t give to hug this man, my fucking god.

#clovermunson’s nostalgic new year’s celebration #ask games #finnick odair #finnick odair headcanons #finnick odair x reader headcanons #headcanons #savvy🧸

[maplewozapi]

I LOOOOVE your art's use of colors and especially the way you draw curly hair! It's so nice!

Also thank you for a native perspective on things, it's hard to find that sometimes and I always hate looking up native stuff and seeing a culture being talked For... It's super nice to see an actual native's perspective. I like to learn a lot about indigenous people because I really, REALLY adore nature and the land/forests (I am so autistic about plants they are my friends and the Pacific Northwest is my favorite place on earth ;~;) and it's so wonderful to hear about the people who Belong here and are nature's oldest friends and caretakers.

So thank you for all your educating of people!

Also as for a proper question, what's your favorite plant or tree?

I have a few! Spreading dogs bane, American mint, chokecherries, juneberries, golden rod, like every species of coneflower, and cotton wood trees are really pretty. BOTANY IS MY FAVORITE THING EVER. I go crazy for it. I use a lot of thistles in my traditional work as well. Im always referencing herbs my tribe has used, maybe someone will notice.

#ask

[ohbo-ohno]

Rereading that noncon Ghoap puppy walk fic bc it makes me go insane. And I have so many questions. How can Johnny even breathe? What did they do beforehand that the others just immediately incorporate it into their routine? Did Gaz encounter puppy!Soap before? What are Price and Gaz thoughts on all this (Bc fuck, their commentary killed me - asking about belly rubs and giving advise on punishment)? Do they think this is completely consensual? Or do they suspect that there is more going on? Do they hope that there is more going on? Are they getting off on the thought of participating even in the smallest of ways in breaking down Soap? If ever Soap got his brains together enough to ask for help, would they give it to him or would they push him to his knees and take him like they always dreamed of doing and then return him to Ghost?

ahhh day 11 kinktober. my longest and least popular drabble from that month LMAO. tysm for asking about it!

i actually mapped quite a bit of that fic out in my head! but because it's entirely from soap's perspective, there are questions that you just can't answer yk?

first of all - it's pure erotica, so it exists in that kind of limbo that all semi-public/public erotica exists in - you've got to suspend your disbelief a bit, just for the sake of horniness lmao

1 - johnny can breathe (through his nose, because the hood isn't sealed shut), but not well. he's breathing heavily throughout the entire fic because of both his panic and the fact that he can only breathe through his nose

2 - i think i said this in another ask but! it was supposed to be that when ghost left johnny tied up at the beginning of the fic, he was going around and making sure only certain people were on base (hence price asking why he didn't come sign his paperwork). no rookies, since they could potentially lose all respect for soap, and no people who he knew were going to be shitty about it. the people he was okay with seeing johnny, he'd go up and say basically "i'm going to be doing public kink here later. either go or don't complain later". there probably aren't all that many people actually still on base, just lots of people looping around the building to watch

3 - gaz has probably caught the Vibe before, just from the way that ghost treats soap (and neither of them are subtle). price probably knows the extent of it just because he's their captain and he knows everything about all of them, but he's content to let them be. also gaz is probably just a kinky as them lmao, he doesn't care

4 - im soooo mixed on the "do price and gaz know it's not entirely consensual" thing. my gut says that price knows that ghost is manipulating soap, and gaz suspects. i think gaz might get a little worried, try and ask soap about it, and be mollified when soap near aggressively defends ghost. but price? he knows everything about them, doesn't he? but i think price also knows that sometimes the best thing for someone isn't always the nicest... and soap seems better with ghost, seems better after his training. as long as ghost isn't destroying him, he'll let them be

(i looooved their commentary too. i very very rarely dabble in public humiliation, and it's got to be sooo specific for it to work for me, but i love it in that fic)

5 - they both 100000% get off on being involved. if they didn't, they'd step back a bit. price is always gonna get off on being in control (and im a big fan of some light priceghost... maybe price taught ghost how to control a wild boy, and he enjoys watching his student grow into a master) and i think gaz is probably kinda into puppy play himself lmao, he's just there to get hard and have fun

i think if soap went to price for help, he'd get his mouth fucked, his ass whipped with a belt, and get locked in his cage until ghost got back. but im really not sure about gaz....

part of me says gaz is a sweetheart, he'd help soap. i could see him taking soap to price for help, and then the above following (right after price "explains" what soap needs to gaz, does a little manipulation and gaslighting of his own)

thanks for your questions! hope my answers are satisfactory lol

#i knew it was gonna be my least popular btw i am NOT complaining #its just kinda funny to me that it's the longest and the least popular lol #rollingstrollingthrough #asks and answers

[jahiera]

I think there’s a definite problem though with the amount of art and fics being HEAVILY Astarion with cis women. That reeks of his queerness being erased. There should be a healthy balance of Astarion with different partners, but the “default” in the fandom is always him with a woman. As a gay man it’s very frustrating.

Okay so. in however much any of this matters. 1. Shoving this under a cut for people who are tired of seeing the discourse (I am too, I tend to scroll really really fast past it.) 2. I know the fandom discourse machine looooves super firm and snarky opinion jabs summed up in 169 words or less but I am literally incapable of not elaborating so. sorry YOU asked. since it’s also probably relevant, Im coming at this with the Mega Dyke with the fuck around and find out perspective irt my life experiences and queerness. I don’t generally care about niche queer internet discourse and I don’t generally care about fandom discourse, so you can tell how bored I am at work rn that I’m deep diving into this. tldr yeah you’re not wrong I agree that astarion’s queerness is erased in certain spaces but that has nothing to do with being attracted to women. my funny hot take is once again that astarion is a he/him evil femme to me so. let’s MOVE.

I received the second one within the first few minutes of the first, and I’m goingggg to proceed on good faith and with the idea that I think we’re all in agreement for the most part, because I think we are. But I’m going to address the most obvious thing that. I don’t really…. think is necessarily the point in this. first of all, I empathize that it suuuucks to not see as many works made for your main pairing of choice (there’s generally a deficit for literally everyone BUT astarion to boot too.) however ultimately fanworks are exactly that: fanworks, and they’re made For Free and posted by a Fan Author who has done this As A Hobby, “a problem nobody is addressing” in this context is……. you are one google doc and keyboard away from writing what you want to see in the world. or, I don’t know. encourage + comment + follow up on fic authors that write what you enjoy. fic is not paid content and the fic authors in bg3 are writing for themselves and what they put out, that they wrote for FREE, is up to them. I once again empathize with not seeing as much of a specific thing as you would like, and I definitely empathize with seeing a popularization of specific characterization that makes you want to scream, cry, throw up, etc. which brings me to what I can actually comment on and critique here. (general note: if you proceed to misread me on the basis of “people can do what they want!!” I assure you. you can do whatever you want forever. I do not care. I am not mad. I am minding my business 90% of the time. do I like domstarion? no. but it is NOT my concern nor my judgement.)

“That reeks of his queerness being erased. There should be a healthy balance of Astarion with different partners, but the “default” in the fandom is always him with a woman.” <- so! now that we have “it’s all for free man idk what you want me to say here” out of the way. we CAN critique something real in this that I do agree with. the sort of…. honestly kind of fascinating (derogatory) trends of what I’ll call Straightifying astarion for lack of a better word.

this brings me to the point I kind of offhandedly made in the previous post, about how there IS nuance to be said on astarion’s queerness getting erased. I do actually agree with you that in some spheres of the bg3 fandom, his queerness has been heavily sanitized and he’s become something of a placeholder for Sexy Vampire Boyfriend romance tropes. he’s mostly there to be a stand-in for a sexy dom vampire man; MANY of his complex character traits that have literally Nothing to do with romance have been basically entirely removed to serve a specific idealized idea of him that suit the scene. it’s frustrating! I find it frustrating. I also agree that within this specific Brand of Mischaracterized Astarion, he’s been so……….. reduced down to this that his more overt queerness is basically entirely removed. however, the issue is not that he’s with a woman in this? the issue is that the writer is not incorporating a sort of.. overarching queer lens, for lack of a better term, to the characterization they’ve got going on. you can write whatever you want forever, but it’s not written in a vacuum, I agree.

Since these are all popular straight romance tropes, he falls directly into the pit of Sexy Man (straight) very quickly, and his attraction toward others (let alone, good god, his complex relationship to sex, sexuality, desire? good fucking luck finding something thoughtful in there about that) tends to fall by the wayside as a result. It is what you would expect but it’s not without room for critique in what I think we’re aligned on; which is seeing astarion’s queerness erased is maddeninggg. And it is EXTREMELY frustrating to see if you’re someone like me, or possibly yourself, who’s into 1. really analyzing characterization and 2. really into exploring queer dynamics in writing + lit + media many different formats. THIS—the sanitization, the removal of astarion’s queerness—this is what is irksome as a queer reader.

however. the issue I’m seeing is that ^^^^^ this brand of mischaracterization is 1. being conflated with simply that he’s with women, and 2. the frustration of having less content (understandable) is turning into a very WEIRD dialogue in which the extreme of “well actually he wouldn’t even want to fuck women!!” is the stance to take (very weird) (kind of misogynistic) (kind of also reeks of continuing to talk about women as sex objects that astarion would not or would want to fuck) (astarion himself doesn’t even want to fuck for about 90% of his romance so maybe we should talk about that too) — rather than that it would be nice if his queerness would be addressed more openly and with more nuance and clarity than it currently is in That Particular Sphere Of Astarion Characterization. and, of course, the idea that it would be nice if he was portrayed with other kinds of partners! which I agree with and equally appreciate.

but there is no default. literally, there’s no default. what you’re seeing is what people are making of their own tavs, and maybe you would like to see more of another kind, but it doesn’t hold up as an actual fandom critique. what holds up is when we dive into how people write him; how do they write his personality, what traits are being exaggerated and what traits are being ignored; IS his queerness remembered within the text at all? and beyond that, how is that queerness treated when it is written? because I’ve seen the other extreme in which it’s The Homophobic Gay Stereotypes That Maybe We All Agreed At One Point Were Equally Offensive To Exaggerate To The Point Of Horror. half the discussion I see AROUND his queerness amounts to “omg he’s such a slutty flamboyant little fag” but in a quirky haha internet way. very “fruity is a nice alternative to saying queer!” “calling a gay guy fruity in the real world will get you punched out.” vibes in here sometimes and it is EQUALLY weird.

anyways. Astarion’s a multifaceted character which means the first thing everyone did was pick one or two traits to exaggerate and cling to and these color the entire reading of his character rather than taking in the whole. i agree that means his queerness got put to the wayside in some formats of him, and that’s deeply unfortunate + very frustrating. but fanfic is free, so I’m not with you that there’s a Problem That Needs Addressing so much as that’s what people are creating, and you should add to what you want to see in the world.

I’m not going to go on a tangent about how “oh let m/f be a thing!!” because I ALSO agree literally no one needs to be told “m/f is okay to do ❤️” we live in the real world here. and it’s really mindboggling how in some iterations he’s been turned into Straightstarion rather than his CANON QUEERNESS being applicable in every format of every relationship dynamic he could ever possibly be in. However. However. the answer to that is not? acting like the baseline attraction to women is the problem. if the way you’re talking about attraction to women feels rooted in upset about not relating to it and feeling like you’re forced to either relate to it or simply not engage, I do Get It, but at the risk of opening up an entirely different can of worms that needs an entirely different essay to address, gay men are not immune to misogyny and if the language used while talking about women is also objectifying or belittling women to some extent or acting as though attraction to women makes his queerness lesser. newsflash. that is still misogyny (and biphobia). it is not about defending straightness here, it’s entirely that reducing women down to sex objects even in the conversations about not seeing women sexually is alive and well (and repulsive), and that’s what I mean when I say I can hear the “lol I don’t fuck WOMEN that’s DISGUSTING” behind some of the other side of the conversation here. also this is an entirely separate essay but queerness will almost never exist in an easily consumable binary and trying to type him by his character traits is also. kind of weird. just as a thing.

#critical / #this feels like such a I will die on any hill. I am going to forget about this now #like again I’m not even disagreeing with some of you but other things in here. it’s a little bit deeper than that #or as deep as fandom discourse is anyways. #now that the high of soap boxing has worn off as I write these tags I’m like good lord. #I will NOT let inanities ruin this game for me. #sorry that’s once again not really directed at you anon but in general #good faith! we keep good faith!

[rileyslibrary]

do you think you’ll write a part 2 to your recent story or even a series? or just like keep it where it’s at- a stabbing pain in our hearts 💕. looooved it!!!!!

Hi @mommyneytiri! 🍫 I’m glad you liked it. Unfortunately, I don’t plan on writing a second part to the story and here’s why (spoilers ahead).

Life comes with a lot of pain. And sometimes, we don’t get to have closure or a happy ending. Also, what might be a shitty situation for us, can be ideal for someone else. It’s sort of like a “what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly” kinda thing.

In this case, the reader didn’t get the happy ending she hoped for. But Simon did, and it’s Daphne! Isn’t this some form of closure? A tragic character like Ghost finally being happy, even if this is hell for the reader? It could be selfish of us to wish for their “relationship” to end just because the reader has feelings for him. But we can’t pretend that it doesn’t suck.

Also, I want to emphasise the “green” metaphor—apart from jealousy, it also signifies new beginnings, both for Simon (a new relationship with Daphne) and for the reader (moving on). It’s how we deal with it that plays a significant role; keep bawling our eyes out in the rain or accept the shitty situation, dance and move on. It’s sad how the reader sees rain as an inconvenience while Simon and Daphne choose to ride a frigging motorcycle in it (careful when riding motorcycles in the rain, by the way; it’s hella dangerous).

And one last thing: I believe the reason it hurts so much is because I left the fic open-ended. I purposefully didn’t clarify what Daphne is to Simon to leave room for interpretation. She could be his bestie for all we know, and he brought her to the pub to get to know the reader. But not knowing what they’re and where that thing that they supposedly have is going, makes it insufferable.

Long story short: we can't always get what we want and everything’s a matter of perspective. C’est la vie!

Anw, thank you for giving me a chance to talk about it! ☺️

[misc-obeyme]

Lesson 15 really gave us a little quality time with some of the brothers and I have things to say about it so let’s start with Satan.

Isn’t it interesting how Lucifer was originally fine with chaining Satan up and putting him in a locker, but now he’s like just stay in your room and be quiet?

It could be that Satan himself is starting to mellow out enough that he’ll actually do this when Lucifer asks him to.

It could also be that Lucifer realizes that what Satan did was accidental and he’d rather encourage Satan’s interest in cats than punish him for the scratched up sofa.

But either way, Lucifer is aware that Satan is changing.

I’ve always been interested in Lucifer’s side of their relationship. This is because we get a lot of Satan’s perspective. He feels like he’s just Lucifer’s clone and understandably wants to separate himself from that.

But Lucifer doesn’t talk about how he feels about it very much at all.

So when we get evidence that Lucifer is actually quite thoughtful of Satan and his struggles, it makes me think that Lucifer (as usual) cares a lot more than he lets on.

We know Lucifer loves his brothers deeply even if he doesn’t always say it directly. But I think he really does see Satan as more like his son. I’m sure he can’t help but see so much of himself in Satan and yet he also sees that Satan is his own person and that’s a very parental type of thing. Lucifer wants to encourage Satan to be himself rather than trying to insist that Satan be just like him.

Lucifer wasn’t even in this lesson but apparently I had a lot to say about him lol.

Anyway, there’s also the way the other brothers are starting to see Satan as more than just wrath incarnate.

I looooved when Levi apologized to Satan and then Mammon teased him about being embarrassed. And then the others start asking him questions about his books. And Beel was like he’s been in here without snacks 🥺 This was all such a sibling interaction.

I also loved how Satan scolded Levi for not knocking first it’s just manners he says. Satan is very much a bit of a mom in the OG. He’s the type who’s going to be like hey don’t leave without a jacket it might get chilly. You know, just looking out for them in little ways like that. But also like cares about them having good manners that’s also very Mom to me.

It made me happy to see him once again get closer to how he was in the OG and how the brothers start to accept him.

Also this cracked me up:

Satan’s like you really thought I’d eat your pet snake? Gross.

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me nightbringer lesson 15 #obey me nightbringer spoilers #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #misc talks about characters #misc rambles #misc queues

[the-holy-ghosted]

y'know, i've Heard Of the balancer's eye, but i don't really know much about it. would you care to elaborate? doesn't have to be comprehensible btw

good cause it wont be comprehensible CRACKS KNUCKLES

The Balancers Eye is my favorite song in the album Vide Noir along with. well the actual song Vide Noir but they both go kinda hand in hand

like listen we all know the lore of Vide Noir we saw the movie this is an album about Buck Vernon but before i knew about any of that it felt to me like two opposing perspectives head to head about this heartbreaker girl that that Lord Huron LOOOOVES to sing about. however that is a tangent for another day (and if you wanted to humor me and ask me about my initial thoughts on vide noir outside of the lore id be delighted)

but like The Balancers Eye is such a different personality from the beginning of the album??? we hear mention of "an ancient master" and curses as well as Back From The Edge being a MUCH different speed from the first couple of songs. but it feels like The Balancer coming immediately after is this completely seperate entity and it is SOOOO fucked up and weird and i LOVE IT. SO MUCH let me get lyrics

RIGHT off the bat in this song we hear "heaven never ever heard a word i said, ive cried enough to raise the dead" NOW WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN. and the lyrics "heaven wont let me in, I dont know why // noone ever loved you half as much as I" MAKES ME INSANE because it is SELF EXPLANITORY this entity is FORSAKEN from the sheer VOLUME of love it contains and the implications of being FORBIDDEN from death and FORBIDDEN from heaven because of LOVE. "will i ever be forgiven for the crime of my life" WHAT CRIME. a crime i can only assume was made out of the same destructive love that cast the balancer out of death. out of love. and dont get me STARTED on the end of the album and Emerald Star youll be here for days

#the heron heareth #the heron speaketh #cause i talked a lot #or do get me started idk. if youre into this sort of rambling #i had a rought day i needed to just nonsensically start Yelling about vide noir #love this fucking album love it so go ddamn much #lord huron #vide noir #feels like this anon was a friend trying to humor me but if it wasnt and youve been living under a rock while following this blog hi. kiss #and if it is a friend. hi. kiss u too

[pickerelstripe]

Hiya! Recently I've been trying my hand at creating some FanClans. They're based in a setting inspired by the Taal Volcano and lake region in my native Philippines. Super super excited over developing it but also a tiny bit nervous! Could you perhaps give some insight/tips on how you developed ClayClan? I'd be really grateful if you did 🥹 I'm a tiny bit overwhelmed and don't know where to start.

P.S: here are some cool photos of Taal+some extra info below bc I'm a nerd and can't help myself lol

Where's the volcano, you may ask? The answer to that is: it's the lake you see in the photos! Basically Taal erupted so much in prehistoric times that the rock collapsed inward+downward into the empty magma chambers, forming a bowl shape (otherwise known as a caldera). It's also got like, a fuckton of vents and craters that it also erupts out of too sometimes. She's funky and I like her!

tldr volcanoes and cats r pretty neat :3

WOAH that's so cool!!! :0 This is awesome, thanks so much for sharing! I loooove seeing unique fanClans, it's such a versatile prompt. And a caldera is a GREAT setting! What a pretty one, too!

As for advice... I've been making fancontent for Warriors for a decade now, so a lot of it just comes naturally. I'll explain how I made ClayClan then give some tips I find helpful! And thank you for asking, I'm really flattered :]

(Info + tips below the cut to keep this from being a huge text wall!)

ClayClan started as a worldbuilding project to support a story I was tossing around in my head. At the time, this story was unnamed and followed Minkpaw, a new apprentice who joins the Clan and unravels a mystery.

At this point I only knew it was set in a swamp. I like taking reference from National Parks, so I started searching for Parks with swamps, and after some googling I found out Arcadia National Park has a ton of wetlands! So I started compiling a species list. As I worked I gradually switched the model region from Arcadia to a general Maine wetland, as this was more appealing to me.

Once I had that together, I started working on ClayClan's culture. This was largely a matter of tossing ideas at the wall and seeing what stuck! I wanted there to be a new rank between warriors & deputy, so I gave them captains. I like exploring religions unique from canon's StarClan, so I gave them the pantheon. I couldn't decide if I wanted their camp to be in the woods or by the lake, so I gave them two camps. Once I had down my base ideas, I just refined them until they felt complete, and since then I've been adding fun tidbits to my own liking.

As I worked, I realized that Pickerelstripe - a supporting character in the original story, as Minkpaw's mentor - was much more interesting to me than Minkpaw herself. So I decided to switch the story to her perspective, and it began developing into the Heart Rot that I love!

With this switch came a change in tone, as Heart Rot is much darker and more serious than my early plans. So I made some worldbuilding changes to fit! ClayClan's religion solidified, kepbon sculptures came into existence, that sort of thing. I'm still making tweaks here and there to tighten everything up.

Okay! Thanks for sticking with me through all of that, here's some random tips! :D

A good place to start is with location! I'm a total nerd about ecosystems, so I like to make my Clan territories as close to their real-world inspirations as possible. iNaturalist is a great reference for finding species in a specific area! Google is also your friend, and I've even used physical field guides in the past. It's a really fun process and enriches your knowledge of the real world - win-win!

Of course, not everyone's interested in this level of detail, and that's all good! I would, however, recommend having an idea of your Clan's territory and the types of animals/plants they regularly encounter. It can be a good springing-off point for worldbuilding! Take ClayClan's bobcat lore as an example, that came directly from wanting to do something cool with bobcats being in Maine.

Is this worldbuilding for a story? If so, what story are you trying to tell? Try and focus on worldbuilding that will affect the plot and see where it leads from there. For example, if your story focuses on family ties, you can explore how your fanClan views family!

Does your inspiration region have any interesting history? If so, you could try and tie it into your Clan's mythos! For example, the setting you've got makes me really curious about how your Clan views the caldera, and all its vents & craters. Do they believe the caldera has always been there? Do they have some lore about the ancient volcano? How do they rationalize the vents? There's lots to explore!

What do you want to see expanded on in Clan culture? The rank system, naming, religion, social structure, etc? Go ahead and change them to your liking, then see how that impacts the world! This is your Clan, after all, play with it how you'd like.

Focus on what's interesting to you! At the end of the day, this is your project, and you should enjoy working on it. If something doesn't interest you like it used to, you can take a break from it and find a different focus, or toss that part entirely and start over. Do what makes you happy!

I hope this is helpful! Sorry for rambling haha. Thank you so much for sharing your new Clan, I wish you the best of luck with developing it :] If you end up sharing any more on Tumblr feel free to send it to me, I'd love to see what you come up with! Have a great day/night!

#furb chatter #furb advice #tysm! #ask

[felizusnavidad]

Have you heard the workshop and off-broadway versions of Hamilton? If so, what did you think?

yes! i have it all downloaded on my laptop along with all lin's demos & the entire in the heights workshop, because i'm a crazy person.

it's good! it's so nice to be able to hear all the differences & i'm a total slut for all the demos & first drafts & everything... what i love about it is that it's not like a professional recording & they all sound so... raw! for example: leslie seems to be tired & he's giving me this oh-damn-i-don't-want-to-be-here-please-let-me-go vibe while anthony is definitely overexcited and it makes me laugh every time i'm listening to it hshshshs. as much as i understand why some of the parts were changed in the future, there are a few that should be in the musical in my opinion (*cough cough* the adams administration rap *cough cough*)... i also absolutely loooove one last ride (with its iconic PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES!!!) & ten things, one thing (i understand why it was changed but it's still so amazing to hear hamilton's perspective). overall, it's a nice thing to listen to once in a while, i still prefer the original broadway cast album!

#have you listened to it anon? #do you love it? #do you hate it? #let me know! #hamilton #lmm #anon #i saved every letter you wrote me*

[w98pops]

I just love how much layers your characters have. I love Aletus. Im really enjoying how he's a good father, sweet guy but a legionary and a coward and its doesnt seem out of place, you write him so good. I would love to see and read more of Aletus. He's great. Not a great person, but a character 4sure. ❤️❤️❤️

TW: MENTIONS OF Menstruation, child marriage, slavery, sex, Aletus being Aletus

Thank you a lot. There is so much Aletus loving lately for some reason, and I'm totally not complaining, I loooove when my characters are loved 😭🙏🙏 I don't really intend much on writing nuanced characters, I don't think they're THAT great, but I'm glad it seems organic and people enjoy it. Aletus is a deeply flawed man and I planned him like that from the start. AND since y'all want more of him for some reason, here's more.

The reason he's not a total anti-hero is probably because I mainly tell and draw my characters from Wendy's perspective. For her, Aletus is a god-like figure. He was always kind and gentle with her, he taught her everything, pretty much, he was there for her always and his opinion matters to her more than anything in the world. She loves him dearly and will never let go of that love. So she tends to dismiss all the bad shit, because she loves him, or because she doesn't know.

I mean, he's a legionary after all. I don't want to spoil all the stuff 😭 because I still want to do SOMETHING with this story. At the very least, an illustrated google doc or something 😭😭😭, but holy fuck is Aletus an awful human being. Not in a cartoonish type of way, like legionaries tend to be, but like. He's an absolute megalomaniac. In a subtle more boring way. He thinks he's better than anyone else and it's his only motivator, most of the time. He thinks he's better than other legionaries, he's better than the enslaved, he's better than the NCR, he's better than Sarah and Wendy. He loves Wendy, genuinely, but. He loves the love she has for him more. Aletus preys on her dependence on him and thrives when she's unhappy. He's not aware of this, of course, it's a deep unconscious thing he just does. Her love make his ego grow, his love makes her miserable. He's never cruel or unjust to her. But Aletus does things that are kinda good on paper, as in reality it fucks up everything.

There's a big fat example, which I referenced many times in my posts, it's the way Wendy "escaped" the Legion. She never really did. She never wanted, she had a normal life, her dad was a privileged man and she never even knew the fact that she was a slave. But as soon as she hit puberty and the whole afab menstruation bullshit started, Aletus just kinda. Kicked her out, crudely speaking. By the laws of fhe Legion as soon as a girl starts to bleed, she has to get married, and Aletus couldn't have that. Not because she's still a child and it's fucking awful, but because If Wendy gets married then she will have all her attention on her husband and Aletus won't be taking up all her mind space all the time. He tried to let her escape like. 2 times. The first time she refused, the second time he physically forced her and ordered to ran away, she came back. She literally had no problem living in the Legion. She was fed, she had toys, she had a loving father and she was safe. Wendy grew up soft and fragile, she wasn't ready for the Wasteland, and Aletus chose to ingore it because HIS DAUGHTER IS IN HER EARLY TEENS SHE CAN'T MARRY, I'D RATHER LET HER BE KILLED BY THE TERRORS OF THE POST-APOCALYPTIC WORLD. I'm laughing at it, but it's kinda still a hard choice. So I don't inherently judge Aletus for the fact that he physically moved Wendy on the caravan he bribed while she was sleeping, so she wouldn't disagree again or find a way back home. But it was one most cruel thing he did to her. Although, Wendy never held a grudge against her dad. She couldn't possibly, even though she should totally. She's not that kind of person.

I think that one of his actions characterises Aletus the most? I mean, this one and the fact that he refused when his ex-lover Noam offered him to escape the Legion with him and Wendy, which was years before her "escape". I don't think I need to explain that one? Aletus is a coward, and he had no reason to leave Legion. Noam was a victim of Caesar's conquest. Aletus chose this life. For all the reasons Wendy refused to leave, by the way. He's a megalomaniac AND a hypocrite.

He's kind of an awful partner too? Not counting Sarah, he's an absolute asshole to Lucullus. I mean, it's Lucullus, but still, when you're in a relationship you typically have some sympathy for your companion. Aletus, on the other hand, sees Lucullus as a tool. Easy access to sex + easy spying on Wendy, no more. Pretty much was with all of his other boyfriends. He just can't bring himself to care for another human being as much as for himself. AGAIN, HIS LOVE FOR WENDY IS REAL. IT'S JUST BURIED UNDER A GAJILLION LAYERS OF CRUSTY EGO. Noam was probably the only one who truly saw Aletus for what he is and made a smart decision: he left.

ALSO, kinda the reason why he neglected Sharky as a child. Sharky looks so much like him, he hates it. He's egotistical, but is lying to himself about it, and through Sharky's eyes he sees himself for what he is, and really really doesn't like it. Also, Sharky was non-verbal and not really interested in nerd stuff that Aletus got Wendy into. Aletus' negligence of his own kid (who he's BIOLOGICALLY related to) was for good, in the end.

Aletus is a coward who can't look in the eyes of his own child and his cowardice is the reason he canonically dies during the Second Battle for Hoover Dam. Wendy comes to him and begs him to leave the Legion with her, she KNOWS that they will lose and he will die, but for Aletus, Legion is all his life. To live past the Legion is to live to face the consequences of his actions, and we can't have that. Again, in the end, his love for self was stronger than love for his daughter. His as does not deserve a good ending 😭🙏

But I still think he's likeable. At the very list. He's a Dante Alighieri fan, very dramatic, but with a good sense of humor. He's smart, cares for Wendy, does silly stuff from time to time, but actually did a LOT for the children that were forcibly recruited and enslaved by the Legion. I don't know If i mentioned in plain this fact, but Aletus is a pre-school teacher by profession :) With a degree in history. He genuinely passionate about teaching and he truly does everything for his students. In the comparison, he's just a good survivalist. There's nothing inherently wrong with being selfish in this hard cruel world and we all make mistakes. Most of them Aletus did unintentionally or out of self-preservation anyway. And we can't all be superheroes and find the courage to face our inner demons, sorry for cheesiness.

I LOVE Aletus. I think he's pretty good in terms of complex morals and writing. I like my dilfs morally grey and miserable.

Thank you for the feedback and giving me a reason to ramble about my favorite idiot!!!!

#asks #oc: aletus #oc: wendy #oc: sharky #a little #also i know that i wrote in wendy's reference that she's illiterate but #i dont think she is. aletus wouldn't let that slide #i dont clearly remember #but i wrote it because i thought it was funny but now i think its cringe and mildly racist so its not canon now #i really need to update her reference huh

[boinin]

for @marcsnuffy and that one anon

Pride, Prejudice & Penalties

Blue Lock x Austen AU

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single football player in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a rival.

Causing immediate excitement among Ego Jinpaichi and his five young wards, Kunigami Rensuke, a wealthy young football player, has rented a nearby stadium in their locality. He arrives in town accompanied by his fashionable teammate Alexis Ness and their good friend, Michael Kaiser. While Kunigami is well-received in the sporting community, Kaiser begins his acquaintance with smug condescension and proud distaste for all the unsigned players.

Kunigami and Chigiri Hyouma begin to grow close despite Jinpaichi’s embarrassing interference and the opposition of Ness, who considers Chigiri athletically inferior.

Isagi Yoichi is stung by Kaiser’s haughty rejection at a local game and decides to match his coldness with his own wit.

Cast list and rambling thoughts under the cut.

I'll reiterate this was a 2am brainrot kind-of idea and I have no scope to actually write this, unfortunately. So if anyone feels like making their own version, go ahead! I claim no ownership haha.

Here's how I provisionally cast the different P&P roles:

1. Mr. Bennet: Noel Noa

2. Mrs. Bennet: Ego Jinpachi

3. Miss Jane Bennet: Chigiri Hyouma

4. Miss Elizabeth Bennet: Isagi Yoichi

5. Miss Mary Bennet: Igarashi Gurimu

6. Miss Catherine Bennet (Kitty): Raichi Jingo

7. Miss Lydia Bennet: Bachira Meguru

8. Mr. Charles Bingley: Kunigami Rensuke

9. Miss Caroline Bingley: Alexis Ness

10. Miss Charlotte Lucas: Nagi Seishiro

11. Rt. Hon. Lady Catherine de Bourgh: Barou Shoei

12. Miss Anne de Bourgh: Sendou Shuto

13. Colonel Fitzwilliam: Oliver Aiku

14. Rev. William Collins: Mikage Reo

15. Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy: Michael Kaiser

16. Miss Georgiana Darcy: Hiori Yo

17. Mr. George Wickham: Itoshi Rin

On reflection, I agree Nagi and Reo are more fitting as Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth... if you want to go down the romance route. Nagi is that guy who means well but has no filter and doesn't express himself well. Reo has the spirited attitude of Lizzie and the cleverness/conviction to confront an asshole like Darcy. It definitely helps that Reo's canonically written to resemble a maiden in love 💜

But I envisioned this as a satire regarding rivalry, loosely following the events of P&P. There's no better rivals than Kaisagi IMO. Another good option would be Rin and Isagi as Darcy/Lizzie. Then you could make Sae a reeeeally shady Georgiana and Shidou Wickham. Igaguri can be Lydia lololol

Kunigami as Bingley and Chigiri as Jane is my bias showing - but Chigiri fits well as Jane, the beautiful lovesick sibling who yearns for a rival that has seemingly rejected them (hello, Wild Card Kunigami).

The other castings were fitting characters I personally enjoy to leftover roles. They're not particularly well thought-out. I loooove Barou as Lady Catherine though, especially where Isagi is Lizzie. He has a similar condescending vibe in Blue Lock and again, through the lens of rivalry, their confrontation would be hilarious. Otherwise, Noa or Ego would be fitting as Lady Catherine, playing on the difference in age and footballer status.

Kaiser as Catherine and Ness as Mr. Collins would also work beautifully.

I have Bachira and Rin as Lydia/Wickham because I enjoy their ship, but appreciate they don't fit the characters perfectly. But I can see Bachira running off to become Rin's rival, as well as Rin trying to convince Isagi to be his.

Ego and Noa raising football orphans with very different methodologies? Of course ✨ Isagi being closer to Noa is a nice nod to BLLK canon.

Here's my writing notes, on approaching this:

Take text of certain scenes and moments from P&P and flip them to read as if from Isagi’s perspective. Instead of marriage, it's rivalries, and they're seeking club offers rather than rival offers.

The dialogue should be similar but irreverent. Characters like Sendou and Nagi are present for a gag, rather than any actual serious reason.

So, lift the text from the original, make the dialogue contemporary with high degrees of snark, done!

I won't get scope to do this basically ever, but it's a fun concept. Would love to hear people's thoughts!

The Shakespeare AU I likely will write, when I finish my current WIPs. It'll be A Midsummer Night's Dream, but set in high school, in the same vein as Clueless and Ten Things I Hate About You. I'm excited to get stuck into that, as it'll be multi-ship and heavy on the crack.

#blue lock #fanfiction #bllk fanfiction #pride & prejudice #crack au #boinin talks bllk #mine

[anaisaaaa]

my fav x files episodes

a list by me :)

btw i didn’t finish the whole show, so yeah some good episodes won’t be here, cuz i didn’t see them yet. (also prob a lot of grammar errors but yeah it’s not my first language so…)

- “Jose Chung’s from Outer Space” s3 e20

besides the fact that it’s ACTUALLY way funnier than it should be, the style of this episode it’s insanely good and like wtf.

They will literally make random episodes about fucking cockroaches and then BAM masterpieces like this.

And the aliens at the start of this. And the scene where mulder eats the pie. Insane. I loved it.

- “pusher” s3 e7

THE RUSSIAN ROULETTE SCENE.

i loved it i’m a really emotional girl you can’t make episodes like this (right after the COCKROACHES EPISODE, AND THE ZODIAC SIGNS ONE)

- “Demons” s4 e23

The way Scully gets so protective when she doesn’t know where Mulder is.

Looooove episodes where Mulder is a little sick puppy and she just goes like “i gotta protect him🤨”

- “Bad Blood” s5 e 12

i loves to see the way they perceive each other: Scully sees Mulder as overwhelming and kinda cocky, while Mulder is actually scared of Scully and her thoughts on his theories.

And at the end none of them are right.

It’s just a whole new different perspective of their relationship.

- “Post Modern Prometheus” s5 e5

WHO DIRECTED THIS EPISODE?

i loved the Frankenstein references, with the black and white, the music, the lightnings whenever they finished a phrase, everything.

it’s aesthetically a beautiful episodes, maybe it isn’t the best plot ever, but it’s still rlly good.

there’s probably more that i can’t think of rn so yeah this is the end😁

IN FACT I FORGOT ABOUT

-“Wet Wired” s3 e23

loooove episodes that show the insane trust between mulder and scully.

i literally dream of having something like their relationship

#the x files #x files #mulder and scully #comfort show #scully #spooky mulder