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romana-after-dark · 8 months

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Blessed Be The Fruit: Part 2

Commander!Joel Miller x Handmaid!Reader

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(sorry if you get two notications, accidentally posted this to my mainlol)

Summary: A few decades into Gilead’s conception, you head into your first posting as a handmaid after an affair with a guardian landed you in trouble. Determined to keep your head low in order to keep your son safe, you take on the moniker of OfJoel. Commander Miller has very little to do with you and mrs. Miller regards you with disgust, however you find solace in an unlikely friendship with Commander Miller’s daughter from a handmaid 14 years ago, Ellie who just got done with wives school. You and your friend, Ofthomas start teacher her and her friend Reilly under her mothers nose. Slowly, Commander Miller begins spending time with you and you begin to learn more about the man he was before and an affair begins outside the confines of the ceremony. Although initially you go along with it out if survival, you find yourself falling for the version of Joel you saw in these late night rendezvous.

Which Joel is really him, and how will he react when his own daughters secrets are revealed?

Content and Warnings: DARK JOEL! DUB CON!

Although no violent rape happens like in TWW, reader is under systemic misogyny and a society of ritualized sex abuse. Everything other than the violent rape scenes, everything that happen in either The Handmaids Tale book or show are liable to happen here including but not limited to discussion of rape, child abuse, child marriage, ritualized sexual abuse, sexual abuse in general, acts of violence, major character deaths, mentions of miscarriage but never shown and never pregnancies we know of. Big ole homophobia warning, specifically in regards to lesbophobia. As for Joel, PIV sex, breeding kink, degrading (slut, whore etc but thing like Raider!joel) forced breeding and breeding kink, power dynamics, Joel is not the good guy but he’s also not the worst, slightly rough sex but not violent. Warnings are liable to be added as the story goes but I’ll always update. As always if I miss something please tell me, but i extensively label my warnings and in the end media consumption is your own choice. If you would like to know if this is a happy ending or not you can message me and I’ll tell you that way I don’t spoil for everyone but you can decide if this is for you.

Immersability: Reader has long hair, can conceive children theoretically. At one point, she has to pose as Ellie's mother and I know this can be loaded in terms of skin tone. I am no genetics expert but I know dark skinned parents can have white passing children, like Lional Richie and Nicole Richie. It's up to you to see if this is going to take you out of the story or not.

Support writers, reblog and leave comments!

Additional warnings: forced blowjob but reader is into it. Still dub con bc the nature of everything.

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It was a strange feeling, knowing the entire household was keeping track of your monthly cycle. Mrs. Miller had been cued in by Aunt Lydia of where you were at last week, and since then you were told the date of the next ceremony; the night during the highpoint of your fertility. You wondered, not the first time, why the ceremony was only once a month, not during the entire time of ovulation, or why not two or three times a day… but you supposed that’s where the wives would draw a line. No rights to reading or education, no voice, no power. One wrong move and you too can become the victim of ritualized rape… but no, your husband fucking a random woman more than *checks notes you aren’t actually allowed to read* once a month is too far.

Internal humor is how to cope. The reality of the situation was terrifying, but it’s not like you were shocked by the idea. You had grown up your whole life knowing this would be your fate if you strayed; well, if you strayed and you were fertile. That fertility is what landed you in this problem in the first place.

It wasn’t love. There was no grand story to it. You were married at 15 to a man in his 20’s who hit you, as was his right. Even that wasn’t as dramatic as it could have been, just slaps, shoved into furniture, things of that sort. When a local guardian made advances, you took him up on it. The sex was fine, and eventually produced a baby; your son, who looked just like his real father.

The guardian was sent to a new local and seemed indifferent to his son who was placed with some commander and his wife. You didn’t even get to say goodbye to him. He probably has a new name now, something biblical, and you often wonder what it is, what word it is that calls his attention. Babies recognize their name around 6 months after all. Benjamin? Levi? Asa? You named him… well, that doesn’t really matter now. It’s a name he’ll never know as his.

Angela had a better story. There was a group of you, a few other handmaids in your region and Angela rallied you all together, sharing your real names and stories. She had lived one hell of a life, always brave. As a low ranking wife she went behind her husbands back for the underground resistance at the young age of 16 and was pregnant a few times, none of which made it very long. For ten years she fought against Gilead, continuing the tradition of her youth. Hell, even before Gilead’s official formation she fought, being a part of pro-LGBT and women’s rights activism since middle school. After her husband was killed in war a guardian attempted to rape her and Angela stabbed him to death. Badass. Gilead didn’t see it that way, despite espousing wanting to protect women. She was going to be hung, of course, but a pregnancy test reviled she was pregnant again, a baby she carried to term, this time. He died of illness a few months later. Regardless, she’d had a healthy baby, and was sent to Thomas Miller’s for her first posting last year.

Aunt Lydia had told Angela that this commander Miller would suit her temperament and you understood what that meant. Angela had confirmed the impression that you had gotten early that week.

Thomas Miller had kind eyes. The kind of eyes that warmed you, relaxed you. You bet he was a charmer in another life. The brothers seemed close, Joel- Commander Miller you mean, lighting up around him like you only see with Elizabeth.

Commander Miller adored his daughter, that much was clear. Many men in Gilead only viewed their children -especially daughters- as possessions or pawns, but it was clear it wasn’t like that between them. You wondered if that closeness is why she wasn’t married yet. At 14 she had been out of wives school for a few months, and it was time to at least get her betrothed. God forbid she waste of moment of potential fertility. Yet, Commander Miller didn’t even seem to be looking.

Few knew more than him how dangerous it was as a woman in this world, and Elizabeth wasn’t a woman- she was a child, still. Commander Miller also seemed aware that Elizabeth was… particular. She only had one friend, Riley, a child from before the handmaid system who was married already. Mrs. Jones, she was called by Lisa, you and Mrs. Miller (who always tried to do things by the book). Joel refused to call her Mrs. Jones, saying “I’m not addressing a child who I’ve been forced to play dolls with as Mrs. anything. She’s Riley to me.” Outside though he did things right. Can’t be too familiar with another man’s wife, even if he’s known that wife since she was in pull ups.

The ceremony was tonight, and it seemed like everyone knew. Angela did, but only because you mentioned it.

“Got any questions?” She asked you, always the older sister, even if she only had a few years on you.

“Believe it or not, I’m not a virgin.” You joke back.

Angela laughs and nudges you with her shoulder. “I know, it’s just your first ceremony. I mean, it’s pretty straightforward to what they teach you in the Rachel and Leah Center, only-” She seemed to shut herself off with that, but you urge her on.

“Only what? You can’t leave me there.”

She swallowed thickly before attempting again, somewhere between a cringe and a childish giggle. “Well, you know, genetically-”

“Angela.”

“Brothers have similarities-”

“Just say it!”

Angela stopped, pulling you in to whisper. “Tommy has a massive cock.”

You stand there frozen in shock until a guardian shouts at you to keep moving and stop whispering. There was a lot there, including the implication that if they share genetic similarities, Joel might be harder to take than expected, especially without foreplay, but the thing that really struck you, the thing that sent your mind whirling was how Angela phrased it. She called Commander Miller, Tommy.

He was handsome, Commander Miller. At least there was that. Another handmaid, Ofglen, was stuck with a 70 year old man. Several girls had commented in hushed whispers that you and Ofthomas were luck; the Miller brothers were a dream posting, comparatively. So many men were ugly, old, or cruel. Ofhim had scars from lashes on her back. Some of the wives were worse, Ofcole’s wife would starve her when her monthly cycle proved the ceremony useless. Mrs. Miller was a pain and was rude, but she’d never take anything like that into he own hands. She wanted to play the part of dutiful wife so bad. That didn’t stop her from constantly making digs at her daughter.

Mrs. Miller requested your aid in her garden once, using you to dump all her feelings. She confessed the reason you were here was her doing; Elizabeth had proven a failure in her eyes, and she wanted another child to raise, to start over. She said her father spoiled her, let her get away with to much. Commander Miller refused to physically discipline her, and Mrs. Miller was insistent that that’s what the girl needed. Commander Miller reminded her she was just a teenager, and Mrs. Miller countered that she is a woman, not a child. You were married off young and it had seemed fine. You felt like an adult. But now you look at Elizabeth and think ‘did I look that young? Did I seem that childlike?’

Mrs. Miller had expressed that she had hoped wives school would fix her, or that maybe after coming back, Riley’s influence would be good. Ellie’s friend, Riley, was 16 and was married to a man in his 20’s, both children from before who had been taken from an unworthy family. An age gap, but certainly not the worse you’d seen, certainly, but now you were near her husbands age the the idea of marrying a 16 year old…

All this to say, Commander Miller was a blessing. You’d been lying if you said you never thought of him when you masturbated. And of course you masturbated. His sweaty body all encompassing around you, brown curls falling on his face, his facial hair on your skin…

It was time for the ceremony, you and Mrs. Miller were in your respective positions, you laid up between Gina’s spread legs in her blue dress, her hand gripping your arms with your legs bent. Commander Miller emerged from the bathroom and your chest tightened at the sight of him, knowing what was coming. The pomp and circumstance had passed, the prays having been done in the living room with members of the household: You, Commander Miller, Mrs. Miller, Lisa, and the driver, Isaac. There had been a passive aggressive spat between Mrs. and Commander Miller on the idea of Elizabeth attending the prayers.

Mrs. Miller: “She needs to participate in household activities”

Commander Miller: “It’s bad enough she knows whats going on, I don’t need her to participate.”

Mrs. Miller: “She’ll be a wife soon enough herself, god-willing she’ll have a handmaid of her own!”

“God-willing she won't need to!”

Mrs. Miller scoffed. “As if God would find her worthy in her state!”

Commander Miller grew deadly calm, jaw set in a tense gaze as he stared at his wife, you and Elizabeth standing on the other side of the room. “Woman, you do not speak about her like that again, understood?”

The intensity of his eyes must have been warning enough, Gina backing down. “Yes sir.”

He straightened up. “Ellie, you are excused. Gina, drop it.”

The tension had carried over into the bedroom, the air thick with it as the reality of what was going to happen settled in. Commander Miller’s bulge was prominent even in his dark pants, having worked himself up alone before coming out here and undressing once again. Just pulling down his pants and underwear, god forbid you see him shirtless. This wasn’t for your pleasure, you filthy whore, this wasn’t even for his. This was for you to bare him and his wife a child. A son to lead the family in righteousness, or a daughter to bare more children and so on. This was a job.

You hear a spit and the distinct sound of masturbation, then a few more spitting sounds. It took everything in you to not look at him, keeping your eyes glued on the ceiling but the picture was clear in his head. The tall, broad, powerful commander furiously jerking off the the site of your body spread of before him. Was that for you? Or was he looking at his wife? He sure didn’t seem very fond of her, but there was no denying she was beautiful.

“Joel, do you really need to do that? It’s obscene.”

“Well you can’t expect her to take it dry when you can barely-”

“Joel!”

“Well unless you want me to-”

“JOEL!”

You couldn’t help it, opening your eyes to see him, his face scowling but eyes with a glint of mischief. He was fucking with her, purposefully embaressing her infront of a lowly handmaid to get back at her for what she said about Elizabeth.

When Commander Miller slid into you, you were suddenly acutely aware that this was going to be difficult. Slowly he moved inside and the inches just. Kept. Coming. Your breath hitched and you bite down on your lip trying to keep any possible sound from coming out, no gasps of pain that could be mistaken for pleasure. The stretch was unbearable by the time Joel was fully sheathed inside of you, thrusting as the tears pricked up in your eyes. It would be quick. There was no presence of needing to last, at least. Just get it done. Fill you up and hopefully you conceive. Problem was… the stretch.

It wasn’t your fault, really. It was natural, wasn’t it? Even under these circumstances. Or maybe you were a harlot, only redeemable by producing a child for a high value man. That's why you were in this position, right? You could feel yourself getting wet and you wished he would hurry up before the smell of sex and arousal fill the room, before the fucking sound became impossible to ignore. The warmth in your belly grew, tightening, the feeling of being filled so completely was just dizzying and you needed him to finish, now.

Then it happened, the orgasm hitting you so hard your eyes rollback in your head and it takes everything you have not to cry out. You can only pray Joel isn’t looking at your face as you attempt to stifle every bodily reaction as you pulse around him. Warmth floods your insides when he stills inside you, a light groan from his lips. He’s allowed to make a few sounds; he’s the man, after all. It’s supposed to feel good for him, but for you? This was wrong. This was bad, and you were going to be in a fuck ton of trouble now. Aunt Lydia never said anything about orgasming. Did the law have a specific article about this, or was it left up to the commander's discretion? You hadn’t seen Joel raise a hand to Gina yet, but you were only a week in. You open your eyes, daring to take a peak at Commander Miller in order to gauge your future.

You can see him smiling at you before tucking himself back into his pants to go clean up. Mrs. Miller instructed you to lay there for a while, bettering the chances of it taking, and left the room. When Commander Miller exited the bathroom and returned to the bed chambers, he excused you with a soft “You can go now, darl’n”

Another 2 weeks went by without incident, and it appeared Commander Miller wasn’t going to do or say anything about your embarrassing indiscretion. Angela had told you to play with yourself before the ceremony to get yourself wet, but you had been too scared of this exact scenario happening. Fat lot of good it did you, huh?

Unfortunately for everyone involved, you got your period as expected. One would think you didn’t want to get pregnant. The odds of dying in child birth had increased despite growing technology. It was the pregnancy complications and the insistence of home births even when the pregnancy was warning them not too. Gilead’s obsession with rituals meant that there was also an extensive one for childbirth and that obsession rendered many women dead. In addition to that, there’s the horror of growing a child inside you, and even if it was a healthy pregnancy and that child lives, after a period of breastfeeding you are taken away from the life you created to go to another posting.

If you produce a child and remain behaved, when you are no longer of birthing age, you get to retire in peace. Whatever that meant. You weren’t sure you entirely cared, one way or another, but the idea of the wall was scary. 3 postings, 3 years per posting, this was your window.

You often heard Elizabeth sneaking downstairs after the household went to sleep; always after Joel went down. Your room was right by the stairs, so you heard it all. God knows you aren’t sleeping.

You were bored. So bored. Bored enough to sneak downstairs after Ellie and go investigate, so you do. Slowly and carefully you go down stairs and find Commander Miller’s office, creeping up to the door to listening. You hear music. Music that was supposed to have been destroyed a decade ago, and you take a moment to enjoy the sound. Steady acoustic guitar, soft male singing.

“Can we listen to it again?” Ellie’s voice spoke from behind the door.

“After your lesson.” Commander Miller.

“UUUGGGHHH”

“I thought you wanted to learn?”

“I do…” Ellie acquiesced, and you can hear the sounds of pulling a book off a shelf and opening it. Biology. Commander Miller was teaching Ellie biology. This was unheard of, especially for a commander's daughter, a woman who was supposed to be getting married off soon. She didn’t need to learn science, to listen to ungodly music? So why was a high ranking Commander not only allowing it, but teaching her?

You move to go back upstairs where you belong, but the creak of the floor gives you away. White-hot panic, the kind where everything runs hot and the world suddenly feels funny floods your system. You freeze, hoping to God no one heard you. That goes out the window when the door flies open, Commander Miller spotting you and yanking you inside the room by the dress.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” He shouts, loud and angry and so close to you that you can smell his breath.

“Dad?” A panicked Ellie stood to the side, drawing your attention. She looked terrified, and you felt sorry for scaring the poor girl.

Joel gripped your face, fingers digging into his skin as he forced you to look at him. “Eyes on me. You don’t look at her.” Keeping your face forward, Joel turned to Ellie. “Go upstairs, I’ll take care of this.”

“But dad-”

“Ellie. I got this, you go to your room, it’ll talk to you in a bit, okay?”

Ellie nodded, going out the door and only stopped to eye you for a moment.

Joel turned back to you. “What did you hear?”

“Nothing-”

“Liar!” He screamed, fingers pressing harder into your skin.

“I heard the music! And, and some of the lesson, but I won’t say anything I swear-”

“Of course you won’t,” Joel chuckled. “Who are they going to believe? A commander and the first daughter of Gilead, or a handmaid who cums during the ceremony.” Your eyes go wide at that, the way Joel’s grip loosens but never leaves, thumb slowly beginning to trace at your cheeks. “Yeeeah, that’s right, I felt you. Little bitch in heat couldn’t help cumming on cock? Didn’t even need any build up, huh? You just take whatever's given to you. Little whore, all pent up…”

God, he looked good like this; towering over you, broad shoulders closing in on you and making it clear there was nowhere to go. When he placed his thumb at your lips, you didn’t even hesitate to take it in your mouth and begin to bob your head, eyes closing just a little. “Dirty, dirty girl…” Joel taunted. “Just need to get filled up. All that pent up slut, nowhere to go. Tell me, sweet thing… Do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

Your sucking stopped, but Joel continued moving his thumb in your mouth. “Yeah, I know you do. Get on your fucking knees.” He didn’t wait, shoving you down to your knees, his cock entering your mouth before you had a chance to think.

The stretch pried open your mouth, pulling at your chapped and dry lips. The bulbous tip hit the back of your throat and made you gag, but he wasn’t stopping.

“Dirty fucking whore, that’s how you ended up here, isn’t it? Needed to be constantly filled, your husband wasn’t enough?” He thrust into you with vigor, your sputtering sounds only spurring him on more while you breathed through your nose, you couldn’t help but whine, preening at the sensation of a dick in your mouth once again. It felt, so, so good, despite the circumstances. “Don’t you worry, I’ll fill you up alright, fill you up enough you stay full.” His pace began to falter after a few more minutes. “Fill you up with my baby, fulfill your biological destiny like the pretty little whore you are.” You wriggle, trying to get some sory of sensation between your legs as you hungrily sucked at him, desperately needing his cum inside you.

He spilled into you, salty and thick and so fucking good, you swallow down every goddamn drop.

With a hand fisted in your dress, Joel pulled you up and to your feet, shoving you back against the wall as he cleaned up. “You are going to apologize to her, and after that.” Joel was close up against you again. “You are going to keep my daughter’s name out of your fucking mouth.” His tongue flicked out to lick at the corner of your mouth and swiped his tongue over your lips. “After tonight, we on’t be wasting one more drop in your mouth. Every last bit of me goes to filling you up, but this-” He patted your stomach where his cum was heading. “Should keep you satisfied until next time.”

Until next time.

Joel pulled you upstairs and into Ellie’s room where he shoved you forward. You fold your hands in front of you and bow your head, hoping she can’t see any evidence of you being a whore for her father on your face. You doubted Joel would’ve allowed that.

“I’m sorry for intruding, Miss Miller. It won’t happen again.” You are careful not to imply you heard anything, know anything, and certainly not imply that she did anything wrong. Joel wouldn’t stand for that.

“Yeah, whatever.” Was all she replied before Joel sent you out of the room, and all you hear as the door closes is “It’s okay, baby girl. It’s handled.”

But your thoughts were swirling on something else, how turned on you were, how dominant he was, how fucking hot he is, but most important, those last few words.

Until next time.

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We get to the spice nice and fast ayyyyyyyyeeee

We love Joel being protective of his daughter <3

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kastlequill · 8 months

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i/v. unearth without a name: the bear that keeps his own line

pairing: keegan p russ x f!reader word count: 1.3k synopsis: the first time you hallucinate keegan tags: whumptober, psychological warfare, blood and injury, brainwashing, hallucinations, hurt no comfort, established relationship, ghost!reader, 4+1, no y/n warnings: graphic canon-typical violence, torture, non-consensual drug use ao3: read here next →

You were in Hell.

These last twenty-four hours, you had learned that Hell wasn’t actually a pit of molten sin and wayward souls. It wasn’t even a cacophony of the dead’s deafening lamentations. Rather, Hell had proven dark, solitary, and quiet save for the occasional dripping of rainwater from above.

The one commonality between expectation and reality was the pain. Ceaseless, ruthless, limitless—unimaginable pain.

Taut rope digging into the raw flesh of your wrists, ribs still sore from a series of kicks, chin caked dry with the blood that had spouted when they broke your nose. The whistling of air through collapsed canals, arms twisted behind your back, begging for reprieve. Skin already forgetting the warmth of the sun in this lair of pitch blackness; eyes already becoming sensitive to the occasional wash of dull light at the arrival and departure of your interrogators.

Such tortures certainly met the qualifications to be considered Hell.

Upon further inspection, another constant could be found in the Devil’s existence, the evil of whom surpassed your wildest nightmares. His assigned name mattered not; they all referred to the same monstrosity. Devil, Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub.

Rorke.

Three years ago, the sky had rained fire. Two and a half years ago, you’d wound up joining the cause, fighting the good fight alongside men who eventually evolved from strangers into family. One day ago, the handful of you remaining Ghosts had embarked on a mission to destabilize the Federation once again. Everything had proceeded according to plan.

Until it hadn’t.

They’d been expecting your squad’s arrival, and as the chosen scout of the group, you in your lonesome hadn’t stood a chance. Easy pickings for the seven plus Feds who surrounded you, for the leader who pistol whipped you into unconsciousness.

Now, here you were, trapped in some glorified grave at an unknown distance below the surface. Your captors paid you intermittent, sporadic visits, wanting to deprive you of any routine in this God-forsaken torture chamber. As the day went on, more and more frequently did Rorke take up the role of interrogator, taunting you with knowledge he’d long since lost the right to possess.

He’d come about an hour ago to give you a relatively tame beating, all things considered. The time allocated to recover between rounds of whatever they had planned for you wasn’t nearly long enough. His return came sooner than you’d hoped, though one couldn’t dare hope for much in Hell.

“There’s no use resisting,” Rorke sighed, irritation mounting at your stubborn silence. “You and I, we’ve got all the time in the world. I won’t break you today, I won’t break you tomorrow, but what about in a week? A month? A year?”

Deep down, you knew he was right. You also knew that the others would rather die before they cracked under the pressure of a Ghost-killing traitor like Rorke.

But you hadn’t lived or trained the way they did until recently. It was impossible to fit decades’ worth of conditioning into three short years. Despite your best efforts, should Rorke push you with just the right amount of force on just the right weak spots, the chances of you shattering were not unlikely.

In your peripheral, Rorke brandished a syringe filled with an unknown substance. Uncapping it with his teeth, its needle drew closer until it pressed into your bared vein.

“We’re just gettin’ started.”

The effects of the mystery drug were almost immediate as it began to course through your bloodstream. Less than a minute had gone by before you fell to the ground, your knees buckling. The rhythmic beating of your heart was deafeningly loud, and your vision blurred. Which made it difficult to discern reality from delusion, whether or not your stricken mind had conjured the shadowy figure that materialized beside Rorke.

“What do you see?” A sinister voice trickled into your ear, but you could register none of which it spoke. “Who do you see?”

You saw him. Of course it’d be him.

He who had dug you out from beneath a pile of rubble on that fateful day three years ago. He who had then helped you wash your face of grime, blood, and dirt in the ravine when your hands had trembled too much to do so yourself. He who had taught you how to hunt, how to tie a tourniquet, how to shoot, how to kill, how to live.

He who was currently staring at you with an intense hatred.

“I warned Merrick you’d be dead weight, but he didn’t fuckin’ listen,” hissed the apparition, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “The idiot's always had a soft spot for strays. He went too easy on you, didn’t care that your sorry ass could never do a damn thing right. And now here you are, repaying him by spilling our secrets to the enemy, is that it?”

This was a waking nightmare, a manifestation of your worst fears, of your deepest insecurities. Countless times you’d worried if you were a burden, and countless times he’d assured you otherwise.

Not this time.

The man you had grown to care for as more than just a comrade glowered down at your crumpled form, his eyes slitting in disgust. “You’re the same weak, pathetic rookie we found back in Vegas. A disgrace to the mask.”

He’d never say that.

You fought to preserve your memory of him as the Ghost who so rarely chuckled, but couldn’t hold back a snort when a stray tree branch had smacked you in the jaw. To appreciate how hard he had pushed you because he believed in your potential and wanted you to believe in it, too. To keep alive the moments he’d listened as you confided about your past, never offering pitiful condolences, always sharing the weight you shouldered.

“I won’t—” The sentence died in your throat, gravely and sore with disuse. “I’ll protect you. Us. I promise.”

“Didn’t I tell you not to make promises you can’t keep? You can’t even protect yourself,” Keegan sneered. “There’s no us. Never was.”

This isn’t real.

None of it was, except for Rorke and the pain he inflicted upon you. With your forced awareness came a renewed wave of agony, ruminating over your budding relationship, over the circumstances of your capture, over the fractured future that awaited you here.

“Well, who is it? Merrick? Them Walker boys? Good ol’ Keegan?” When you didn't answer, Rorke pressed on. “It don’t really matter all that much, ‘m just curious. Not as if any of ‘em care about you, anyway. You wouldn’t be here if they did.”

Lies.

They cared. Merrick and his tendency to hover, who’d snuck you the last ration of chocolate after your official recruitment; Hesh, who refused to leave you or anyone else behind and tried to get you to crack a smile on your worser days; Logan’s quiet comfort, providing a steady presence in spite of all that he had suffered prior to your meeting him. And Keegan. . .

Keegan cared the most, in his own subtle ways.

“Those Ghosts sure know how to leave a man behind. Pickin’ and choosin’ who is worth the fuss and who ain’t,” Rorke spat, the words a bitter poison. “Seems they’ve decided you’re a waste of time.”

That’s not true.

But the relentless barrage of cruel sentiments was becoming harder to deflect, your mental shields beginning to splinter and cave inward. Truth or falsehood, fabrication or authentication; you now realized the distinction was of no consequence.

“No one’s coming for you. The sooner you come to terms with that fact, the better. Take my word for it, kid.”

In this forgotten place far underneath the earth’s surface, in this graveyard where you joined miscellaneous fossils and decayed matter, in this prison of fear and regret and suffering—

Nothing hurt more than to admit just how much you believed him.

tbc.

#keegan russ x reader #keegan p russ x reader #keegan p russ #cod keegan #cod ghosts #cod x reader #call of duty #keegan russ #whumptober #my fic #fic: unearth without a name

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nerdieforpedro · 6 months

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The Long Road to Together

Tommy Miller x Original plus size female character (Velora)

Fanfiction 18+

Masterlist

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, drug addiction mention, pain management, anxiety, PTSD, mentions of death, possible dub con (maybe), body worship, Tommy Miller's dirty talk, fingering, oral sex (female receiving), P in V (practice safe sex everyone), pregnancy kink, domestic fluff, cheesy jokes

Summary: Velora has been apart of the Miller brothers' lives decades. She's particularly close to Tommy. They've shared countless memories with each other over the years and in a single night everything changes. If only they'd get out of their own way.

Notes: So, I put many subjects and themes I've wanted to write about in here. It should make sense, I had the wonderful @musings-of-a-rose beta it for me and as a fellow Tommy fan, I trust her. I did also add a subplot with Joel because, why not try one out? I really enjoyed this and for Tommy's character. I have a different take on him.

Word count: just under 16K (because Tommy's worth it!)

“You got anything for a bad back?”

“Nothing that will actually take care of the pain. Best I can promise you is to dull it. You need to go see a specialist, Joel.”

“That sounds like it’s gonna take time I don’t have. You know I gotta…”

“Yeah, I know. Just let me know what appointments they have and I’ll see what my shifts are like old man. You can’t be folding over when Sarah’s just getting into high school. There will be boys there!”

A slap was heard to Joel’s shoulder and he winced, letting out a curse as he hunched over further at his desk. The stress of running the business by himself was getting to him. Tommy had taken a sabbatical as he called it, the timing had been pretty poor. Thankfully, he had a woman who he considered a little sister to help him out. Her father had been friends with theirs and they always hung out together as children. In middle school, the family moved away for a time, but returned while the Miller brothers were in the middle of high school. Velora had just started high school and looked similar to how she did now, telling dumbass jokes, finding a reason to smack Joel and always being supportive.

He organized the files that he would need for tomorrow and in particular, permits needed for a job the company would be starting on a ranch outside of Austin. Rebuilding a stable wasn’t too out of their depth, Joel just needed to research more on the permits required which he did, but damn if all the reading was making his head hurt even with his glasses on, add his back pain to that and he was miserable. He missed riding horses, but not so much he was willing to risk not being able to move for a few days. Velora had taken over administrative tasks that Tommy normally did as he was better at it and knew how to navigate the different offices they normally had to deal with the state and city, he was also much better at schmoozing suits and the like than his grumpy self. Velora helped out on her days off in between her shifts at the hospital. She sent Joel off for the evening and put away files that the elder Miller brother had taken out for review.

“He’s got to learn to put this stuff back. Otherwise he’s never going to find anything.” Velora griped, she wore gray capri leggings because they were easy to move in and matched her white t-shirt. Usually she would dress a bit better for the office in case Joel brought any clients by, but he had been out most of the day, leaving her to get phone calls, further organize items and files. She was also trying to understand Tommy’s organization system which even though he had explained it over the phone twice, she still didn’t understand. “He’s been gone three weeks, like I get it but also I still don’t get what I’m looking at. It’s not even organized by color, number or alphabet, what the fuck is this?” Her brain hurt trying to work out the system. She thought Tommy had mentioned to her that it was by the date they took the client on, but there was no distinction between finished jobs and complete ones as those were mixed in and with different dates. “I feel like he could tell me five more times and I wouldn’t get it.” Shaking her head, she put the files where she thought they went near the front of the file cabinet and locked up the office, heading out to her car and driving home. Once in front of her small two bedroom, one and a half bath house, she sighed, happy to be home. She had a shift again tomorrow, but hopefully Joel would actually look for an appointment. Icy hot, tiger balm and heat packs could only do so much. Velora understood why Joel didn’t want to go to a pain clinic, he’d have to tell them about his past addiction issues with alcohol and it may affect his treatment plan, hell with some doctors, they just keep recommending tylenol and ibuprofen when that clearly hasn’t been working for him. He needed good pain management.

Kicking off her shoes, Velora flopped back on the couch and started at the ceiling. It was 8:30 at night. Too early to go to bed and too late to start any shows or movies.

“Where are you Tommy Miller?”

Elsewhere in the world…

The grass was crisp under his feet, the sun had just set not too long ago as he walked back down to the rock outcrop overlooking the rolls of green grass he had seen earlier that day. He couldn’t sleep again. The younger Miller brother had been worried about his brother Joel. He knew he didn’t deal too well with people even with Velora helping him. But he would text Joel later and maybe give Velora a call. There was more he needed to discuss with her than anyone else.

It had been seven years. They seemed to have passed by in a blink of an eye. Tommy recalled first joining the US Army, doing his patriotic duty and a way to use up the excess aggression he had from not really knowing where he was going next in life. At first it was fine, basic training then he was assigned to a platoon where he got to know other soldiers. It was when he was assigned to the 1st Armored Division that his optimism started to wear thin. His core group consisted of himself and five other members; they actually made it through Operation desert storm. What he saw there, the things he did, he never spoke about them except with the group and one person removed from the war. But the bodies, the smells, the tastes,, the sounds all of it overloaded everyone. Each man had their own way of dealing with it. One of the group was dishonorably discharged for using heroin he found overseas, but the Army never said what they did with the rest of it after removing it from belongings. He wasn’t the only one they confiscated it from, anyone who had it was dishonorably discharged but it was never made public what happened with the drugs. It was also never mentioned in great detail what they did to the country of Iraq. No one ever mentioned completely decimating and crippling a country, nearly burning it down to its foundation only for the same people who supplied the Army’s weapons and gear to switch profit off of a land that they aided in destroying.

Tommy left the army after seven years of service, thankfully his brother allowed him in the construction company to work so he wouldn’t go completely insane. But his ‘Ironsides’ members weren’t so lucky. One died from an opioid overdose, another from drunk driving and two from suicide by gunshot. None of the funerals were covered fully by the VA, each family only received $1500 toward burial costs, but had full honors with all the pomp and circumstance. The two cousins in their group asked to have their ashes spread to their home which was Ireland, the only reason the veteran came to this place. It was beautiful though he had to admit. He may want to bring Joel and Sarah here, his brother would complain the entire time but he may get a grin out of it and Sarah would enjoy exploring the land. The younger Miller wondered if he should ask Velora to come too, she wasn’t one for the cold, but may like the greenery too. Watching his oldest friend muddle around the hilly terrain would be fun, he could steady her, show her the lakes and watch the sunset with her. Tommy felt he may not have cried as much if his Sweet Pea was here, she could crack a joke or just let him hold her, rock him slowly as his head was on her shoulder.

With two urns, one under each arm, Tommy carefully set one down and opened one, pouring the ashes out to scatter across the cool breeze that was blowing. He did the same with the second urn, waiting until another wind could carry the ashes away. Tommy had taken more time then he told Joel and Velora he would be gone, he didn’t mean to stay longer. It was just easier, he could work though his emotions more and not risk breaking down in front of them, though that had failed with Velora the night he told her he was going to spread that ashes per his brothers-in-arms wishes.

Four weeks ago…

He had mentioned it like he was going to the store. She had asked him to explain and he didn’t. Tommy wasn’t going to until she pulled him into a hug. He didn’t realize it at the time, but tears had been running down his face. He remembered the warmth of her embrace and settled into the couch with her, almost laying on top of her to cuddle. She just ran her fingers through his hair, they didn’t say anything to each other, he tried to make as little noise as possible while sobbing. Her red shirt she had been wearing was soaked with his tears. Velora never mentioned his crying when he followed her to the bedroom and demanded to sleep next to her, promising to only hold her hand. She had smiled and told him it was fine if he needed more from her, to take what he needed. No matter if it had been money, time, food or those three DVDs he never returned, his old friend never complained. Velora would just smile and tell him it was okay. Even when Joel would get pissed with Tommy about the direction the company was going in to missing a game or two of Sarah’s (he really tried not to but sometimes the suits at the city were really long winded and insisted on drinks), Velora would be there in his stead for his niece and tell him play by play as much as she could of the game when she would stop by in the evening. The veteran recalled that the night had been humid, despite the fan running, moisture stuck to their skin. Velora was in her simple thin nightgown and Tommy just wore his boxer-briefs to bed.

Tommy may have took that a few steps too far.

The night began with him holding her hand, that was fine for a time but, then he took her into his arms from behind, drawn to her soft curves that accommodated his taut muscles. The delicate oche tone of her skin glowed within the moonlight. It was when he kissed the back of her neck and his hand went to her breasts that she pulled away from his touch slightly,

“Tommy…don’t play around and go to sleep.” He heard her say, he couldn’t make out the inflection of her voice. His friend’s hips wiggled toward him, his free hand grabbed her hip, pulling it toward him.

“I’m not Sweet Pea. I need to touch you more, just let me, just for tonight.” A growl emerged from his chest, his teeth grazed her shoulder before nipping her lightly. Her gasps encouraged him further, she never said it, but a small smile always came to her lips when Tommy called her that.

“Alright, but just…ah..” Velora wasn’t given a chance to finish her sentence. Her breast was plopped out of her nightgown as his hips grinded into hers. Tommy kept calling her his sweet pea in her ear and she reached a hand back to try and reach his cock, to feel it. “J-Just put a condom on and stick it in…” An order that Tommy wasn’t willing to follow right now, instead he pulled away from her, quickly slipped his boxers off and turned Vel on her back. “W-What are you doing? Why didn’t you just-” The nightgown she had on was over her head, the veteran hovered over her, he knew she would be angry but he would not fuck her the first time. Maybe the second time but not the first. Tommy had already planned other times he may bend her over. He wanted to make love to her in this moment, subsequent encounters could be messy and quick but the younger Miller brother wanted to savor her body as Velora was now, only for him..

“You told me to take what I needed.” His mouth took her erect nipple and large chocolate areola into his mouth, hearing her scream the first time convinced him that this was right. Her hands ran through his then medium length raven hair, tugging on it, his chest pressed into her stomach, sinking in it. The sensation had him grunt onto her nipple, rolling it with his tongue, his legs wrapped around her calf, his length dragging against her leg. Her body continued to writhe under his, his face soon in between her breasts nuzzling the sensitive skin between. Velora was looking down at him, panting, surprise on her face. She hadn’t expected him to fully undress her nor to try to explore her. “Velora,” Tommy paused and peered up at her, “I need all of you, so I’m going to take it all. Are you alright with that Sweet Pea?” He asked, moving upward and settling himself between her wide thighs. He wasn’t going to enter her yet. However, though she did spread her legs for him, Tommy closed her thighs around his waist so he could feel their soft embrace.

“Yes, I told you to take what you need. I didn’t quite expect this way though.” Her digits danced along his bellybutton, then his stomach, not as firm as his military days, but still tight enough to display an ab or two. The pads of her fingers circle his nipples, small but at attention, all for her right now. “You don’t have to be gentle either Tommy. I’m here with you, for you. Just let go.”

“Sweet Pea, I want to be careful with you. You deserve that, always you hear?” Descending, he felt her heartbeat against her chest with his, glad to know he wasn’t the only one feeling like it might burst. “Give me your love Vel.” Lips crashed together, he bit her bottom lip, drawing a sliver of blood. He just said he’d be gentle but it was overwhelming, one of his hands took the back of her head and forced it forward, deepening the kiss, Vel mewled into his mouth and pressed her feet into the mattress to help move her hips forward, she felt the throbbing of Tommy’s cock just above her folds, a hand came between her and the velvet skin. Two fingers parted her lower lips and a squeal was heard when he released her head and it fell on the pillow. “Not yet Vel, gonna eat that dripping pussy.” He meant to use sweet words with her, that’s what she should be hearing, his Sweet Pea. Sliding back down, Tommy hoisted her thighs on his shoulders, giving each a small peck and pulling them so she could only see his hair for a small part of his forehead. When he spoke directly into her mound, he heard her say it,

“Fuck Tommy, make me cum. Sop my pussy up with your mouth!”

The younger Miller brother smacked his lips. “I’m going to have to see how dirty I can get you to talk Sweet Pea.” His nose ran up her slit, taking in her strong scent, he caressed her opening with his plush lips before slipping his tongue inside, rotating his the tip of his oral muscle was causing her cunt to quelch already, he then inserted it centimeter by centimeter , reveling in her screaming his name. His length continued to throb but his goal was to have her climax before entering her. The waves of contractions inside of her canal was constricting his tongue, he longed to have his cock inside of her, to have her continue to cry out his name while he could watch her face unravel. The pressure on the sides of his head increased as her large thighs pressed together in an effort to keep him right where he was, not that Tommy had plans to be anywhere else. His nose tickled her clit and provided a particularly strong clamp down from her. So he set his elbows against the mattress and forced his face against her mound, holding his breath as he used his nose and mouth to make her climax. With alternating curses, calling on the Lord and Tommy’s name, Velora reached her peak, the soldier was able to at least draw his face back a little before suckling on her clit, overloading her body, making it jerk. Tommy managed to inhale deeply, satisfied that his face was soaked with her scent and nectar. He ran two fingers through her cunt and brought them to her mouth. “Suck on them with that loud filthy mouth on yours. Turns out I needed this side of you love.”

Her warm tongue quietly took her own juices from Tommy’s fingers, after they were clean, he got up from the bed and rummaged through his jacket and found a condom. He looked up at Velora who was turned on her side toward him, the easy shine of their affection for one another draped her body. Her curves and stretch marks on full display, ‘she’s mine’ he decided. ‘No one else’s, I’ll make damn sure of it.’ He crouched down next to the bed, meeting her at eye level, “Velora, you’re sure you’re alright with this next part?” He needed to know. They were friends first and foremost and he respected her boundaries, except tonight of course, but he wanted to make sure she was really okay with it. The woman nodded and took his hand in hers.

“Tommy Miller, get in this bed and make love to me. You said you wanted my love. I’m giving it to you. Come to me.” She got up on her knees and held onto the headboard to keep herself from tipping over back onto the bed. “I told you to let go. Just have me. Please.” It was the look she gave him, so permissive and delicate. His arms wrapped around her once more as he kissed her, not deeply just to touch his lips against hers. Their foreheads touched and he met his nose with hers.

“Velora, you’re a hellova woman.” Tommy smirked and laid her back, moving her toward the middle of the bed. He was in between her thighs once again as she opened herself before him. As he rolled the condom on his length, he marveled at her body; wide, tender, subdued and hushed for him, she bit down on her lip to quiet herself, presumably because he had mentioned volume and word choice. Tommy didn’t want her to quiet down now. He wanted her to go hoarse from calling his name, from what he did to her. Leaning forward, he pressed his tip into her folds, releasing himself and using both hands to cup her face, his thick fingers massaging her the top of her jaw, just under her ears, “Look at me Sweet Pea. Open your mouth, I want you to use those lungs.” A short nod from her was all it took, his hips eased forward and back easily for the first few pumps, only going in half way, keeping his eyes locked on hers as she cried out,

“Oh…oh..fuck Tommy, you’re…spreading…me…” Velora whimpered, her thighs began to close again and his hands had to move to keep them open. His rhythm picked up as his elbows made contact with her knees pulling her legs back toward her chest and curling her body for a deeper angle, the pace picked up as he was now diving his cock fully into her flush with her mound and pulling back until only the head of length was inside of her. It was difficult, he could barely speak because her cunt kept sucking back in deeper, the slapping of their skin filled the room. Tommy raised one of her legs and turned his head to bite her calf, then licking it after, tracing his tongue over his teeth marks.

“This pussy is mine Sweet Pea, you won’t fit anyone else Vel. Goddamn you tight as a vice woman…” He murmured into her leg, pounding into her, he felt the pulse of his hardness growing closer to completion. Velora reached for Tommy, her arms stretched outward toward him, he dropped her legs and grabbed her love handles, continuing to roll his hips into hers. His forearms were scratched by her nails, leaving red marks on his olive skin. “Velora, you hear me? This cunt is mine only mine. Say it Sweet Pea.” A command with her pet name. It pushed her over the edge,

“Shit yes, yes yes yes Tommy, my pussy’s just for you. Tommy Ahh!” Her neck flicked back as her walls closed around his heat, he was able to push into her six or seven more times before he released inside of her. The veteran didn’t pull out yet, dropping himself slowly on top of her plush form and ran his nose over her lips that were slightly parted, there was droop at the corner of her mouth, her eyes had tears dotting them, his large hand cupped her cheek against and tipped her face forward so her neck was no longer bent. “T-Tommy…T-Tommy that was…I…” Her quiet words expressed what he couldn’t.

What has he done with his best friend? They’ve crossed a major line. He was worried that when they came out of this, she wouldn’t speak of it, like other insecurities and issues that he had told her about over the years. She never shied away from listening to his thoughts, however intrusive and depressive. But he didn’t want to be this vulnerable with anyone else. Even with other women he dated, there was always a barrier that he put up as far as feelings. They always told him he hid behind his humor and sarcasm. Tommy knew he did, but the one person he was always comfortable with was Velora, was he the same for her? He realized he had never asked, not that she didn’t share her own issues with him, but she didn’t talk about men she dated with him so much. Not that he encouraged it, he never wanted to hear about her dating life, no one would be good enough for his Sweet Pea, was he even good enough for her?

“Valora, rest. I’ll be right back.” A peck from his lips to hers before he slid out of her and got out of the bed. He went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. Looking in the trash can, he scoffed at the loss, ‘should be inside of..’ before he could finish the thought, he cursed himself. Tommy knew he needed to stop, they hadn’t even had a conversation about what they just did, he was thinking about putting his seed inside of her?! “Fuck, I’m insane…” Shaking his head, he grabbed a washcloth out of her bathroom and returned to the bed, Vel had rolled on her side and was attempting to sit at the side of the bed, “Let me clean you up first, take it easy.” he brushed the back of his hand on the copper toned flesh of her hip. He tapped the washcloth on her thigh as she raised her leg and he held it for her, wiping front to back before tossing it on the dresser, knocking over a lotion bottle or two.

“Tommy, why would you throw it?” She asked, chuckling, ‘thank God, she still laughs. That’s good.’ His eyes went from her face to her slit, despite wiping it down it was still glistening, he licked his lips before setting her leg back down and letting her pull on his shoulder to sit up next to him at the bedside. Velora looked forward for a few minutes before speaking again.

“Did you take all you needed lucky beetle?” She kept turned away from him. “Thanks for cleaning me up Tommy. We should head to…” his hand ran up her spine.

“We’re not doing anything until we talk about this. Vel, I…I want to..” She kissed his cheek and told him words that devastated him.

“This should be between us like always. I won’t ask you for anymore. We’re just- just friends. I hope I was able to help you some. We don’t have to talk about it.” The younger Miller brother remained silent as she wobbled to the bathroom to relieve herself, she closed the door. In his disappointment, he quickly threw his clothes on and dressed, leaving her home and hopping into his truck. A deep wail came from Tommy before he started the engine and drove home, he laid awake and slept through his alarm the following day. Within the week he was off to Ireland to distribute the ashes, he said he would be gone for a week, week and a half tops. He was gone for about three weeks.

Velora’s tears streaked her face in her bathroom. She should have told him that yes, she wanted her cunt to be just his. For him to only be with her and no one else, but she couldn’t. She knew how Tommy gets when he’s sad or frustrated by something he can’t control. That’s when he’d normally find a woman to fuck. She’d used it to her advantage, granted she didn’t think it would happen, it never had before. The woman wore the same nightgown she had before, bland panties, they cuddled like they normally did. He liked to be the big spoon. She knew she shouldn’t have given in, but it was Tommy, her Tommy. She’s known him for more than half her life, tried to date other men but they flat out don’t compare or worse, they actually suck. She couldn’t tell him that it was the first time she had sex fully naked and the lights on, that he asked to see her face and took the time to prep her before entering her. God he used the mouth that she dreamed about on her, just thinking about it now…She should have let him finish. But she was afraid he’d say it first…that it should be another thing between friends. The way she heard him hastily dress and run out of her house told her, she had done to him what men had done to her in the past: dismissed his feelings.

In the time he was gone Sweet Pea tried to go on dates, but she couldn’t stand the touch of another man, even from a side hug she flinched. Whoever said the best way to get over a man is by getting under a new one was wrong. She can’t even be near a new one.

Two days before arriving home…

Joel had spoken to Tommy two days before the latter’s flight home, asking what the hell he did to make V go on so many dates. Tommy was curious how his brother knew the information given that he didn’t think they spoke about subjects like that. Joel said that he heard it from Tess, Joel’s off and on again, whatever she was. That was an entire bag of worms he wasn’t getting into. At least his relationship with Velora wasn’t like that…but it could be. They started out as friends and now those two assholes can’t be in the same room without eye-fucking each other or cursing up a storm. Tommy explained that they had a miscommunication when he last spoke to her and that’s why they were unusually curt with each other on the phone. Joel gave it some thought, sure he was closer to forty-five than forty, but nah, Tommy wouldn’t have right? Not with…

“Tommy you didn’t sleep with V did you? Tell me you didn’t.” Tommy could hear Joel’s head droop. Damn him and using the same disappointing voice he uses when Sarah talks a bit too much trash at soccer and makes one of the girls on the other teams cry.

“We sleep over each other’s homes fairly often after we hang out. I told you, it’s just..”

“Goddammit Tommy! You can’t do that shit, especially not to her. You know you can’t cut her out of your life like you do other women. I told you this shit would come back to bite you in your ass like a snake in a hole.” His older brother's condemnation of his actions past and present made Tommy suck his teeth.

“This from the guy who keeps holding on to a woman who only uses him for a few good times and disappears for months at a time. Fuck, she’s one who told me we’re not going to talk about it. Still be friends. What the hell else was I supposed to do? I took some extra time, what’s wrong with that?”

“The difference is I know what my relationship with Tess is, you asshole. You slept with a woman who’s been there for you through all your shit. I know you made it about you. It wasn’t about her at all, was it?”

Silence…his brother had him there. At the time, it hadn’t been about her, he even used the fact that she said he could use her however he wanted to do exactly that. Tommy exhaled.

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do now? I’ve already blown everything to shit. She’s doing the same thing I would, getting out there and meeting some guys. Why’d you have to tell me you asshole? I fuckin’ hate it…she’s out with some bastard who won’t even….”

“Eh, I don’t need details of what ya’ll did. And it’s not really going that well. She told Tess that she freaks out when the guys try to touch her, even holding her hand. It’s all for show, guess trying to prove something to herself. Both of ya are a damn pair.” Joel chuckled on the line, the first time during their conversation. Tommy followed suit and a low rumble of laughter.

“We’re two people who make shitty ass decisions. Just, see if Tess can get her to hold off ‘till I come home. I know her, it’s only making things worse and she’s going to be in head about it. All of it.”

“Yeah, on that same token little brother, get your head out of your ass and talk to the woman. Velora deserves that much at least. You’ll have to get her to listen tho’. I don’t think she’ll be keen on ya right now.”

“Shut up and just pick me up at the airport in a few days. Bring Sarah, I miss my cute niece.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up and then mention my daughter. I shouldn’t bring her just to spite ya. But she wants to ses you too. Loves your stupid ass. I guess you’re a’right at times Tommy. Take care, I gotta go to bed.”

“Lucky you. You can sleep. I’m just awake for no damn reason. You aren’t the worst big brother. See you in a few days.”

The brothers smiled as they ended their calls. Joel trotted upstairs and kissed Sarah goodnight as she was already in bed. She stirred slightly and a smile formed on her face at her father’s warmth. One of the few times Joel didn’t look like he was completely over everything was whenever he gazed upon his daughter, his only light.

It was 3:15 am where Tommy was packing up most of clothes, he had brought a backpack and a duffle bag that was significantly lighter now that the two urns weren’t in it, plus he wouldn’t need to check his bags this time so he might get through their airport quicker and get home. He went out into the cold night air with his coat on, hands in his pockets and hair tied back. The puffs of hot hair leaving his nose made him chuckle, he thought of her again, hoping that she hadn’t had too many dates in his absence but some to make her feel better. He didn’t want them to have gone well of course, but if she has the dates that’s fine. Joel wasn’t wrong, he did need to speak to her when he got back, he just had no clue what to say.

Sorry for fucking you? Sorry for telling you that I don’t want anyone else to see you like this? That I’m especially sorry for not doing this years ago when I first realized that my feelings for you went deeper than that of a friend and maybe sabotaged some of your dates, sent messages from your phone and comforted you when the guys of course stopped communicating with you. Thankfully I only did that a few times before you caught me and told me to just tell you if I thought a guy was trash. I brushed you off because I would tell you they were all trash, but I knew I was garbage too because I was still fucking around, so i couldn’t tell you that. I didn’t have the right. Actually, that might be why you said what you did that night, you knew I didn’t have the right to you. I used you once again and why should I feel like I’m entitled to more? Just because of how you said my name, how you seemed surprised when I wanted to see you and hold you, how good you felt in my arms, how happy I am when I’m in yours…I’ve really screwed the pooch on this one.

The short walk and the cold air gave Tommy pause as he found himself at the same rocky outcrop that he had spread the ashes over. “Had I asked, you would have come with me. I should have just asked…I have to tell you sorry in person, Sweet Pea.” The stars were hanging in the sky, twinkling at the haunted man. He began slowly back to his cabin and was finally able to sleep, there was no one to hold him when he shed his tears that night.

Velora had tears of a different nature, she was able to finally kiss one of her dates, it was a fair kiss, definitely not like her one with Tommy. She compared him with everyone now that she had a taste of him. Her date suggested that they go back to his place to which she declined, there was no spark, no longing, no anticipation. The man was good looking, could put sentences together, paid for dinner, seemed nice, no real reason to not try him out except he wasn’t Tommy Miller. He didn’t have his dark hair, deep brown eyes, that goofy looking mustache that tickled her tummy, his cinnamon skin or velvet voice. This man was none of those things and it wasn’t his fault. It was hers for agreeing to this date. Vel’s friends were proud of her for getting out there and exploring her options, but she was going through the motions, no matter if it was work, helping out Joel and Sarah or just moping at home, it was all hollow. The man walked her to her car, to which she thanked him for the date and drove home.

Once home, she hopped in the shower and wash the date away, scrubbing her inner thighs especially as he had tried to finger under the table, but seemed to have difficulty navigating her large thighs, she couldn’t tell if he just hadn’t been with a larger woman or was out of practice in general. Velora got out of the shower, dried off and brushed her teeth, using extra mouthwash, she didn’t want to taste that man at all.

Sitting on the bed, she looked at herself in the mirror, wrapped in her towel. This was the room she was taken by Tommy or more apt, she offered herself to him. Happily. The circles under her eyes were darker and she chuckled, it’s not the first time she had cried over Tommy Miller, but it was usually because he had done something stupid and not the other way around. It was enough to keep that man in a place that would freeze a witch’s tit an extra week and a half.

He may have told me that he wanted to be friends with benefits or maybe that he actually had feelings for me, but I didn’t let him talk. These men aren’t Tommy and it’s not their fault. I should have told him years ago but I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. Tommy, Joel and Sarah are family and I just couldn't…I still may lose them anyway. I shouldn’t have told Tess why I was crying and dating. She likely told Joel and…would he know? Is that why Tommy hasn’t come back yet? My head hurts. I feel like shit. Tommy’s the only one that looked at me like that, he touched me from head to toe and told me that I was only his. It was likely just dirty talk but still, it was nice to hear. Pfft, just nice? It was what I’ve always wanted to hear. I just didn’t want to be second anymore…Second to his grief, to his anger, pain and second to whoever the flavor of the month was. I’m tired of being second, I want to be first.

Vel laid across her bed and started at the ceiling, her tears were steady and she gave up trying to wipe them away. She woke up the next morning with a stuffy nose from not covering herself properly before sleeping.

“Fuck, even my nose is tired of my shit…”

The day Tommy gets home…

Tommy arrived at the airport around seven in the evening, he was almost home. He had called Joel to pick him up, the uncle was excited to see his little niece as his brother said he would bring her. Normally he would call Vel but he couldn’t see her yet. Sarah and Joel greeted him warmly in the drop off area and helped him lay his bags in the truck. The brother chatted about how business had been and Sarah chimed in about soccer and school. The bright young teen did have something important to share.

“So Dad, we’re going to have pizza tonight right? Since Uncle Tommy’s back.”

“Yeah pumpkin I told you we would.” Joel sounded puzzled, unsure why his daughter was confirming plans they had already discussed. Tommy did not like the sound of this, it’s never good if Joel is surprised. He knew his brother stayed prepared.

“I invited Aunt V to eat pizza with us, you got three pizzas right?” Tommy glared at Joel who kept his eyes on the road. His daughter may be in cahoots with Tess, which surprised him because he didn’t think Sarah liked the woman. He foresaw major issues going forward.

“I ordered three because I thought it was going to be the four of us. You didn’t mention Vel.” The older Miller brother said slowly, he needed Tommy to know this was not his idea, and frankly he didn’t want the clusterfuck this was going to be, to be in his house.

“Well, Aunt V has been kinda down lately, hasn’t she Uncle Tommy?” Sarah leaned forward in her seat and patted Tommy's shoulder. He couldn’t lie to his only niece, but he also was not going to speak about his love life to a fourteen year old.

“I’ve been away Peanut so I wouldn’t know. Has she now? We should cheer her up.” Tommy bit his lips, and rocked forward, Joel knew those motions were, he was self-soothing. He was so pissed, but couldn’t say anything because he would sooner die then show Sarah anything other than her sweet uncle. Joel knew this was going to be a problem when they were alone.

“Baby girl, you are so loved.” is all Joel managed to say before cutting on the radio.

Tess was at Joel’s house paying the pizza man and Velora was sitting on the couch. Tess was humming, this woman they all maybe saw three months total out of the year. It was weird, but Joel loved it so Vel figured she would just keep her trap shut. She shouldn’t speak about anyone’s relationship since she had mucked hers up with Tommy. Though a part of her wanted to look nice for him, so she ended up pinning her hair up, exposing her neck and wearing an olive green three-fourth sleeve shirt dress, she also may have left the top button open so she had a bit of cleavage showing but not too much. Sarah was going to be there after all. Vel also made sure to put on her favorite lotion from Bath & Body Works, ‘into the night.’ Maybe she was hoping for something to happen, at the very least, she wanted to be able to talk to him, likely not about the last time they saw each other but at least be civil.

The door opened and Sarah burst in, hugging Vel and snuggling into her, commenting on how good she smelled, Joel carried a bag of Tommy’s and hugged Tess, giving her a kiss on the cheek. That’s when Vel lost her breath, Tommy Miller strode through the doorway and set his backpack on the floor, nodding toward Tess. His eyes met Vel’s and he went to speak as she did , but nothing came from either of them. It looked like Sarah was going to say something but Joel suggested that they eat before the pizza gets cold. Everyone ate and listened to Tommy’s trip and embellished stories, Vel soaked up his laughter and smile, wondering how she would feel if he were to tell her he didn’t want to speak to her again, as he did other women. She was going through the motions again as Joel carted Sarah off to bed before long, she had fallen asleep across Velora’s lap. A place Tommy wanted to be. She looked beautiful, the earth tone dress looked gorgeous on her. It was then that he was surprised, Tess offered Vel a ride home. Apparently, a car ran a stop sign and rear ended her. She hadn’t been injured but her car was in the shop for repairs. Joel and Tess had been giving her rides from home to work. Tommy saw an opportunity. He had left his truck at Joel’s so he could drive home once he made it to their house after the airport.

“I can drive you home Sweet Pea.” He stated quietly, setting a hand on her shoulder, he stepped in between Tess and where Vel was sitting. Tess was about to interject but Joel shook his head, signaling to let them be. Velora nodded.

“Sure, thanks Tommy.” With that, she stood and thanked Tess for the offer giving her and Joel hugs before slipping her flip flops on and heading out with Tommy. He opened the truck door for her and she climbed in, he took special care to take a gander at her legs which the moonlight was reflecting off their well moisturized sheen. Tommy then got in the truck and started driving.

“Tommy…I-I’m sor…”

“Leave it for when we get to your place. We need to sit and talk face to face.” The grave tone he used worried her, was this really happening? Was she going to lose her best friend over the best sex she had?

Once at her home, she opened the door and Tommy locked it after they got in, Velora set to opening a bottle of whiskey and pouring them both glasses with one cube of ice each. She sat next to Tommy on the couch and slowly sipped on her drink, clicking her nails on the glass. Tommy took a large swig and set his on the coffee table, taking hers and placing that on the table as well.

“Velora, I need you to listen to me. Don’t say anything yet.”

“T-Tommy, just you’re not going to leave right? Just forget it. Just don’t tell me to go away.” His eyes widened, that wasn’t what he expected. He placed a hand on her thigh and squeezed to try and calm her, but that only made her jump. “I know I shouldn’t have, honestly you’d never taken me up on it before. I wanted to see how far you were going to go, I didn’t expect…not that i didn’t enjoy it, but if it means we can’t be friends then, I’ll forget about it.” Her speech was pressured and rapid, eyes wild and darting around, when she did focus on Tommy’s face, he saw that she was frightened.

“Sweet Pea…Just give me a…” Tommy tried to cut her off to explain but she kept going.

“You can’t call me that anymore. You can’t say it like that. Sweet Pea, it makes me wet each time and I can’t, I can’t Tommy Miller! We’re friends, you can’t call me that, not after…” The tears that she had been avoiding since she saw him walk though Joel’s doorway broke through, it was Tommy’s turn to hold her and to console. It was then he realized he wasn’t the only one that had been having feelings over the years. How long had she been in love with him? How long had he been hurting her? How long had they been hurting each other?

“Velora I don’t want to be just your friend. I feel the same way. Honey please…” Tommy whispered as he brought her close, her tears were wetting his shirt, but it was fine by him. He just needed to make her understand that he didn’t want to share her. But he also thought maybe he shouldn’t undress her this time.

After some time, she stopped just embracing her, small hands wrapped around his back, pressing on his shoulder blades. They were quiet except for a few sniffles. Vel leaned back and kissed Tommy’s cheek, her face puffy from her waterworks,

“I’m sorry I didn't let you talk, well this time and especially the last time. I just wanted to avoid talking about it. I couldn’t handle you telling me it didn’t mean anything.”

“Velora. That’s not anything I would ever say to you. And it wasn’t what I was going to say the other night either. I planned to tell you that I don’t speak like that to anyone, even during sex and that I didn’t want you seeing anyone else. I don’t want to see anyone else. Vel…I…” Tommy was cut off by her lips, not forceful but clearly to quiet him again, he cupped her face and leaned into the kiss, letting out a small moan. He did let her go after he licked her bottom lip and she didn’t allow him in. Not that type of kiss he figured.

“Just a little at a time Lucky Beetle. Please a little at a time. You just told me something major, I can’t have you say that I love you right now too. I know you like to get things all out in the open but just let me sit in it a bit.” The explanation made sense to him, in his haste to share his feelings, he forgot that she needs things in pieces, slowly. It’s why he loved talking to her because she could help him see things part by part, but that was clearly different in a relationship aspect. Her hands raised to play with his hair, then ran along his cheeks and poked his mustache. “It’s not that I don’t want to hear it, but I just need time. It won’t be too much. I promise.” He nodded, accepting her proposal.

“Should we get you cleaned up? Your face looks a mess Sweet Pea. Er, not that…” The woman let out a bellowing laugh, it was a sound that he was elated to hear. He hadn’t heard it for weeks and the last time he did, was one of his highest and lowest points.

“Yeah, I know I look a mess.” She stood up and patted his shoulder for him to follow her to the bedroom. “Tommy, I should tell you, or rather I don't know if you already heard from Joel, I have been on dates since you were away. A few…” A drawer opened and she got out a pair of boxer briefs and a t-shirt for him. Tommy had his own drawer at her house and she did at his, they had for years. “Like four dates,” She turned to face him, but kept her eyes to the ground, still she felt she needed to be honest. “None of them panned out. They weren’t you, I compared them all to you. Even the last one…” Her arms crossed over to stomach as she held her elbows, Tommy could fill in the gaps but he still needed to know.

“How far did you go with him?” He asked flatly. He readied himself for the potential answer that she may have slept with someone, it’s not like he hadn’t done the same thing in the past, though while he was away he didn’t think to. The vet hadn’t expected Velora to take a page from his playbook as far as fucking away feelings.

“Kissing and he tried to…well not that he could find what he was trying to finger. It’s not like mine’s in a different place than a smaller woman’s, you just have to go a little deeper.” Her eyes rolled as she complained and Tommy chuckled, it was entertaining hearing her mock another man and gave him a sense of pride.

“Sounds like you had a tough go of it hun.” He placed his hands on his hips, his mustache continued to dance above his upper lip as she continued to chuckle. Velora shook her head and threw the clothes at him, which he caught. “Thanks for telling me though, you're honest to a fault.”

“Shut up Miller. I’m going to shower first.” A small smirk greeted her lips as she grabbed her own nightshirt and panties before heading into the bathroom. Tommy set his clothes on the bed and went back into the living room to finish his whiskey. They felt more normal, like themselves. It was good, but he didn’t want it to stay like this. How else was it supposed to feel?

Velora took a quick shower and brushed her teeth, remembering the glass of whiskey she had and that mint likely wouldn’t taste good with it. She tossed her worn clothes in the hamper and found Tommy sitting on the couch, looking at his empty glass. “Did you want mine too? It doesn’t go well with colgate.” Tommy shook his head and downed her glass as well before heading into the bedroom and stripping, then into the shower. When he came back out, he put his clothes in a small pile in the corner of the room out of the way. The pair sat on the bed next to each other.

“So…”

“So…what do we do now?”

“We should sleep, talk more about things with fresh minds.”

“Did you want to go get breakfast tomorrow?”

“Sure, though I should probably check in with Joel to see if he needs help at the office.”

“It can wait until the next day, he’s actually doing better. Tess convinced him to go to a pain clinic.”

“Really? He left that part out when he was updating me. Old man with a sore back.”

Velora climbed up in the bed and slid under the covers, Tommy watched her and wondered if he could really sleep in the same bed as her without touching her. He should be able to, he has self-control. He followed suit and slipped under the covers as well, turning on his side away from her. If he faced her, he would feel tempted to touch her and after they had a positive conversation the last thing he needed to do was compromise that again.

Turned out it was not up to Tommy Miller whether things were going to happen or not.

Velora became the big spoon to Tommy’s little spoon and that was fine until the sun started to shine through the curtains of her bedroom window. Tommy rolled over on his back and Vel’s leg wrapped around his slim waist. That would be fine, if his hips hadn’t shifted up slightly and a familiar bulge touched her inner thigh. Exhaling, she opened her eyes to see if he was awake, he was not, his breathing still steady and his face in a neutral position. Her finger started to circle his dark nipple, she sank her body weight on top of his abdomen and rested her forehead on his chest, her soft digits inched along both sides of his clavicle. “Fucking delicious menance Tommy.” Vel hummed into his chest, sturdy hands took hold of her hips.

“Am I now? Right back at ya Sweet Pea. I thought I was having a damn good dream. Looks like wakin’ up is even better. Didn’t know you were such a vixen.” A low hum emerged from Tommy’s lips and he sat up, holding her over his hips. “Don’t move, you’re ridin’ me this mornin’ Sweet Pea.” His eyes had a soft glow to them, placing his lips over hers before she could protest, he knew what she’d say, to lay her back down because she was too heavy, but he didn’t want to, He wanted to watch as she bounced on top. Her hands moved from his chest to his shoulders, grasping tight, unsure how much pressure to put on him. Tommy, released her hips to slide his boxers down, unleashing his swollen member from the cloth confines. He then slid her thin wet panties aside to touch her puffy lower lips, a long moan was released from Vel as the mixture of cool air and warm callused fingers entering her, made her squirm. “Sweet Pea, you’re ready for me this morning aren’t ya? Fuck Vel, we wasted too much time. I could have had a ring on your finger and Sarah could have a cousin or two.” Her eyes shot open, did he just…? She pulled back, making her ass press against his thick cock, a gasp escaped from his mouth.

“Tommy, d-did you just…what?”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean Velora. You don’t want me to say three words fine. I know many a way to tell you the same damn thing woman.”

“Well you wanna try this morning?” Her suggestion made him kiss her neck, licking it as his fingers pumped inside of her slowly. “T-Tommy, give me your…”

“My what Sweet Pea? I’ll have to be careful where I call you Sweet Pea. I can’t have you gettin’ this wet at a cookout.” He smiled into her neck, before biting it. One of Vel’s hands grasped the back of his head, tugging it toward her neck.

“Fuck Tommy. Your cock. I want your cock. I’ll make a baby with you. Give it to me.” She yelped as his fingers started to move faster, her nectar dripping down his palm.

“Not yet, I have to show you who can find your pussy with these fingers.” His mouth left her neck and found her lips again, biting her lower lip as she moaned his name. He could watch her like this for the next hour, maybe hours.

“Don’t be an ass about it Tommy.” Her hips were moving faster, her hands came back to his shoulders as she began moving up and down instead of in a circle.

“Look at you, quick study like always Sweet Pea. Be my angel and soak my fingers.” Tommy commanded, curing his head to nipple at the top of her breast. He felt her squeezing his fingers, then the flood of her slick down his wrist as he slowed down his fingers to match her body’s release and subsequent decrescendo. She sat panting on his lap, her eyes heavy as she met his dark brown orbs again. “Velora, you’re sure I can cum inside you? We still have a shit ton to talk about.” He saw her nod but needed her to speak to him so he didn’t move.

“Tommy, I’ve dreamt of you getting me pregnant and raising a family with you. We’ll work out the details later. It may not even happen this go around. We’ll have plenty of other times to practice. I love you Tommy Miller. I want to make a home with you and a family.” Velora kissed Tommy’s forehead and reached behind her ass, taking his hot member in her hand, teasing his head, “I too am not going to let anyone else have this cock if I have anything to say about it.”

Tommy wondered why he hadn’t seen it, how he could have been so blind, but that moment passed, “Did you have me not tell you I love you so you could say it first?” Vel chuckled as her small hand stroked his cock, “You’re my petty ass vixen angel and I love you. Take off that gown. We don’t fuck clothes in this house.” A beamng chuckle was shared between them as she removed her gown and tossed it on the floor and Tommy assisted her in lifting up to remove her panties, he then shimmied his boxers off and he sat her right back in his lap. “Ready Velora? I’ll ease you in slow.”

Velora’s hand guided Tommy’s cock to her soaked folds, slipping inside of her easier than she thought, though she didn’t expect her hips to slam flush with his. She let out a loud whimper from the expansion inside of her, the pulsing heat, the grimace disappearing from his face once he was inside of her, she remained still to adjust and was unsure if she should move, it felt as if he was piercing her womb and stomach. It felt like they were finally in the right place and the right time with each other. But she wanted more, she would take from him until he had nothing left to offer her, He hadn’t said a word until she pulled on his shoulders and pressed her feet into the bed to move up, only making it where half of his cock was still inside of her. “Tommy, I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this too long, damn…did you get bigger while in Ireland?”

Tommy still didn’t answer, he was focusing on not shooting his load into her after she sat her full weight on him. Velora was able to take all of him in one stroke, a feat that hadn’t been performed by any other woman he had been with. Now with her moving, he was twitching even more and it felt as if the wrong move or loss of concentration would have him prematurely released. However, when she commented about his size, his eyes open to see the woman that he loved struggling to ride him, it was breathtakingly slow, the perfect pace to make him last longer. “Sweet Pea, I’m gonna be rough for a few, you’re doing the Lord’s work up there. Need to know how it feels to fill you to the brim with my seed Velora.” Bewildered, Vel’s mouth formed an ‘o’ as he began, taking ownership of her hips and forcing his upward into her, she truly started to spring off his member, leaving only his bulbous head inside of her before bringing her back down so his balls smacked her ass.

“Goddamit Tommy! I’m gonna break, Ah…Tom-Tommy..” Her voice cracked as she screamed, one hand dug into his shoulder, her nails drawing blood from his skin as her other hand cemented itself at the base of his skull. Her back was already arching, she was trying to stop her walls from sputtering, to draw this sensation out, him making her and her cunt cry for him. Miller’s grunts increased with his pace, his goal was to stuff her with his cum and he would succeed this morning. His mouth found her round shoulder, her light stretch marks broke though the rest of her brown skin, he started licking them, but felt his teeth start to dig into the soft flesh. “Ah..chew baby, Bite me Tommy..!” She continued to call his name, it was a ballad leading to their mutual end. Velora came first, her nails, raking across his back and head as her cunt attempted to milk his cock of its contents. Tommy was able to get in a few more pumps before he felt it, finally, thick ropes coated her walls as he moaned her name into her shoulder, tasting something metallic on his lips. They remained still, regaining air in their lungs, Tommy fell on his back with Vel on top of him, her breasts landing on either side of his head as her chest fell on his face.. He tilted his chin up and landed a string of kisses in between and on the tops of her breasts. She hummed as she stroked his hair, feeling him soften and start to slip out of her stretched pussy. Thankfully, only halfway.

“Velora, you alright honey? Didn’t break I see. You’re too strong of a woman for that.” His familiar glow returned to his face as she looked down at him and nodded.

“I’m better than I thought I would be. You might be the death of me yet Tommy. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to just relax again.” Her bubbly sounds had Tommy trace his hands along her love handles and back.

“If anything, I’ll go first. You started it this morning, remember?” He reminded her as she raised up off his flaccid cock and plopped beside him and he pulled the covers over the both of them. His hands returned to her waist as she nuzzled in the crook of his neck. “We’ll have to check our injuries later, let’s get some sleep. I love you Velora.”

“I love you too Tommy.” The two found sleep in each other's arms for the time being.

The next morning…

A series of loud knocks was at Velora’s front door.

Sarah had been adamant about seeing her uncle Tommy. Joel and Tess tried to assure her that he’s fine, he’s resting up from his long flight, which might be true though Joel doubted it. The fact remind that he did leave his bags at his place from when he drove Velora home last night. Sarah was worried that Tommy may not be happy with Aunt V going out on dates and he could have argued with her and might be moping around his house. It was plausible and Tess found it convenient to need to drive into town for a meeting or two, which she did not have to do before this conversation started.

“You shoulda never told a child about grown folks business.. Tess.”

“Sarah’s a teen, not an idiot. She knows things have been weird with them. Plus she overheard Vel and I talking, I didn’t tell her anything.”

“And now you have to go? After you start some shit?”

“They were meetings I thought were pushed back and now the parties want to meet. It’s annoying and horrible timing but -”

“Seems like good timing for you.”

“Joel, don’t start that shit again. You always do this get mad at me and then-”

“And then you leave and stay gone, not talking to me for weeks or months at a time. Would it kill you to be consistent Tess? Lord knows I am.”

Tess held up her hands, done with the conversation for now. She headed for the door. “Joel, I’ll be back later tonight. Take that time to calm down so we can talk like two adults.”

Joel crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling. He felt small arms wrap around him. “Dad, why don’t you just talk to her instead of picking a fight?” The older Miller brother kissed his daughter’s forehead and smiled.

“Your old man’s stubborn as a mule baby girl. I gotta be right, even if it kills me.”

“We’re going to take uncle Tommy’s stuff by his house right? I want to show him my new trophy. I fell asleep before I could show him last night. Joel couldn’t say no even though he was fairly certain his brother wouldn’t be home. Gathering Tommy’s junk, he threw it in his truck and drove over to the house. His brother’s truck was absent from the driveway so since he had a key he dropped off the bags inside. Sarah still insisted on seeing him so he drove to Velora’s where now he was knocking on the door.

When there was no answer, he turned to his daughter who shocked him once again,

“You think they’re going to be friends with benefits or actually date? But they know each other pretty well so maybe not for long. I’m going to be a bridesmaid or the maid of honor.”

“Sarah honey, that’s putting the cart before the horse baby girl.”

“Dad. I’m fourteen. I know these things.”

“Where did my sweet girl go? I don’t want you to know these things.”

Tommy climbed out of bed first, he heard chatter outside the door so he figured he had some time. He relieved himself in the bathroom and grabbed a warm rag for Vel, cleaning between her legs. He couldn’t help but use two fingers to push some of his cum that had leaked out back in, that made her flinch and wake up. “Good morning Sweet Pea, better late than never. Fell asleep before I could clean ya. Someone’s at the door. Goin’ to tell them to kick rocks.” She nodded and rolled over toward the nightstand to check the time, two in the afternoon? It was pretty late.

Tommy popped his jeans on and didn’t worry about boxers. The cold floor felt good under his bare feet as he walked to the door, now on the other side, he heard two voices that he didn’t want to see right this minute. “Welp, it was going to happen sooner or later.” He unlocked the door and swing it open,

“Afternoon brother, little Peanut.” Joel noted Tommy’s messy hair that was sticking all over the place and that he seemed to have some bruises on his abdomen. Dammit, really? My daughter has to see you like this…

“Hey little brother. We took your crap to your house. You good? Your hair is a little…” Joel studdered, first Tess and now Tommy, why were the adults he knew so damn bothersome and exposing his sweet daughter to things she shouldn’t know until she’s his age, scratch that, he needs to be cold in the ground before Sarah even thinks about, such things.

“Uncle Tommy, is Aunt V alright? If you look like that, what does she look like? Did you put a hurt on her?” The youngest Miller asked with a head tilt. Both men remained silent. Joel was the one now with his arms crossed and rocking between his heels and the balls of his feet.

“She’s taking a bit of a nap right now, Peanut. I can stop by the house later-”

“I'm alright, You should maybe go get freshened up though Tommy.” Velora walked up behind Tommy in a loose gray t-shirt and black leggings and tugged on the waist of his jeans to signal he should head back inside. Vel stood in the doorway and gave a stern look to Sarah before bursting into laughter. “You’re a firecracker young lady. You’re going to give both your father and uncle heart attacks. Please let your father hold onto his dream that you’re still his baby girl.”

Sarah stepped forward and gave her aunt a hug, patting her back and niggling into her. She whispered, “Aunt V, you look a lot happier. Both Dad and Uncle Tommy can be kinda dumb so don’t be too mad at him.” Vel chuckled and patted the teen’s head,

“I won’t. I promise. All adults are dumb at times, Peanut. It’s our claim to fame. I love you, you little scamp.” She kissed her forehead and let her go, Joel nodded and he headed back to the truck and left with Sarah. Asking her questions about what she knew about ‘putting a hurt on someone’ and where she had heard it. He didn’t really want to know, he just needed to identify whose knees he needed to break for telling his daughter this information.

Tommy was in the shower, using Velora’s green tea and jasmine body wash. It smelled nice on her, he wasn’t much for smelling like a flower, but he did need to be clean. He was lathering his chest when his Sweet Pea entered the shower naked and put her hand over his, helping him to lather himself. He chuckled at her eagerness to touch him, he was planning on initiating later but he wasn’t opposed to having a bit of slippery fun. He reached beyond the shower curtain and grabbed a second washcloth, the basket they had been neatly folded in fell over, but that could be tidied later. Tommy was quick to wet it and turned around, nearly falling back against the shower wall at Vel’s hair in her hot pink shower cap. Her lips pinched together as she pushed slightly on his chest to signal she was not amused.

“Sweet Pea, you can’t tell me that’s not funny though. It had to be that neon, bright ass pink?” He cackled in between her soft hits with the soapy washcloth.

“Dammit Tommy, you know I can’t get my hair wet unless I plan to wash it and do that whole process. Stop laughing..ha, ha.” The woman started giggling along with him, the pair of them laughing until they wheezed.

Tommy took his washcloth and ran it over Velora’s shoulders and took special care under her arms. He rung the washcloth out over her breasts and added more of the body wash to make the lather thicker before circling around each breast, carefully lifting them from their lowered position. Velora continued to drag her washcloth across his chest, then around to his back until she lowered it just before reaching his butt. She then brought it back to the front and wiped up and down on his abdomen eliciting a few more chuckles from the mustached man. Tommy started in the middle of her stomach and branched out with larger strokes before starting on her back. He then paused,

“So how do you want to take care of below the waist?”

“I think we should each do our own, I don’t trust you not to start fingering me and I don’t want soap in my pussy.”

“You know me so well Sweet Pea.” He answered with a smirk and made sure to clean his cock and balls well and ended with his ass as Vel did the same. They rinsed off and Vel stepped out of the shower first to set a few towels on the floor to soak up the water she was dripping and to grab two towels, one for each of them. After drying off, Vel put on the same t-shirt and black capris she had on before, they had been fresh out of the drawer so she didn’t mind putting the back on. Tommy slipped on a pair of gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt from his drawer in Velora’s bedroom. Tommy headed to the kitchen to start some coffee and make some brunch. He found eggs, onions, peppers, cheese and toasted some bread with some apple butter. Velora was finishing up the bathroom when she smelled his cooking, her mother told her not to trust a man who can cook when she was younger, but Vel found it to be one of the many sexy qualities Tommy had, among others that she could put her hands on now.

She walked out to her small kitchen and got some plates and glasses down to get the table. It could fit four people comfortably though it was on the smaller side, with just the two of them, it was just the right size. Tommy dished up the food, he made three pieces of toast for each of them, after he set the frying pan in the sink and ran some water in it, they sat down to eat, in silence for the first few bites.

“So…should we talk about things or…?”

“I mean we can. I guess we should start with whose house we’re gonna live in. Yours is on the smaller side Vel. makes sense since it’s just you living here, but…”

“No I mean, about before. We moved things pretty fast and you never told me about how your trip went with, well what you were going to do, though we weren’t really speaking at the time.” Velora moved a piece of her omelet around on her plate as she bit into her toast.

Sitting back in his chair, Tommy crossed his arms and sighed, “Do we really need to talk about it? I went, took care of my guys’ ashes and came back. Yeah I was gone longer, but I needed time to think. I couldn’t do that…”

“While you were here. While you may have to face me, is that it?” She asked, looking up from her plate. He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“What about you? While I was gone, you’re out here setting up dates left and right. I know that was your one friend who doesn't think I’m shit who told you to do that and you did it! I had to hear it from Joel of all people. That was weird as shit.” he shook his head, recalling the conversation, it had been unnerving.

Velora took a deep breath, “I told you about it when you came back and we finally talked before and we…I was honest about it. I didn’t need to hide, I came to fucking Joel’s house with all that damn pizza and listening to tess talking about meetings and travel! I didn’t want to go, seeing you…it, I was happy to know that you were okay, but I felt guilty and hurt Tommy.” Her eyes never parted from his, the intensity of them caused him to look away, but the veteran was drawn right back.

“I know. I was in shock when Sarah mentioned on the drive home that you were going to be there. I honestly didn’t think you would want to see me, given how I reacted when you said what you said after we made love. You can say it, you know Velora. We’ve made love twice now.” Tommy grinned, trying to lighten things up a bit, but to no avail.

“I know I told you that I needed time.” Velora paused to try and figure out her phrasing. Tommy titled his head, trying to anticipate what she may say, he hoped it wasn’t that they should see how things go. He was serious about moving their relationship forward. “I’d rather we talked about things and made some future plans. We skipped ahead on the babymaking front. I didn’t think I’d…well I knew I wanted to but…” Her cheeks were becoming hot once again, having a child with her best friend and crush Tommy Miller had been a fantasy. Now she may have actually done it without dating, marriage, deciding where they’re going to live, none of that. It made her giddy that he wanted to see her pregnant and have a child with her, but what would come with it? Was she prepared for that?

“Velora, well I won’t say relax because we’re needing to make some major decisions.” Tommy rose from his chair and stood behind Vel, placing one hand on each shoulder and kissed her temple. She took a few sips of water for her throat that was painfully dry now. “One step at a time honey. It’s alright we don’t know right now. We just started this together. Plus we gotta move you into my house, this kitchen’s too damn small and I got room in my master bath to expand the shower.” Vel coughed on the water, setting an elbow on the table before cradling her forehead in it.

“Lord above you really are trying to kill me Miller.” Their expressions of joy echoed through the small kitchen as they continued their meal and bikered about whose house should be sold, which mattress should be in the master bedroom and who has the better office.

Six months later…

Velora plops another rose near the mailbox. She already had brought three over from the back of Tommy’s truck. She had borrowed it to drive to the florist to pick up her order that she had placed last week. Set on adding more color to the front yard, she had added yellow tulips near the large front window that was off of the living room. Red was what she wanted on the corner around the mailbox. She took to gardening well, finding it was calming in addition to decorating her new home. She and Tommy had closed on her small home last month and were able to make a sizable profit from it. Due to the time constraints though, she sold much of her furniture except what was left to stage the house. Tommy, Joel and Sarah had helped moved her items into Tommy’s larger house. Velora had fussed about it, but she knew it was the right choice, moving into his house. It was her first house though, she remembered when Tommy had helped her move in.

Standing up from her leaning over position, she felt light-headed and had to lean on the mailbox, thankfully it was sturdy and she was quickly able to regain her balance. Her head swam for a minute but then calmed. It was happening more frequently and it worried her. Tommy had asked her to cut back on her hours at work, go to part time at the hospital. She was stubborn and refused, stating that it happened from time to time, she was fine, it would pass. It’s been two months of symptoms off and on again. What really worried her was her tender breasts and back pain. They didn’t seem connected and both had been happening since she hit puberty decades ago. She didn’t mention it to Tommy though, didn't want to worry him. Heading back inside the house, she called and made a doctor’s appointment, relenting that she may need to have things checked out, though whenever she had scans before they were always benign and she was advised to lose weight. “They’ll just tell me the same damn thing.”

Tommy was thriving, sure he had way too many pillows on his couch now, but he was able to convince Sweet Pea to keep some on the bed and in the guest bedrooms, at least break them up some. The little touches as far as plants, new colors of green, reds and yellows, nothing overbearing but more accents to his neutral home. In the pillows, but also in the towels, rugs, blankets for when they would watch movies on said couch and even a few shirts in his closet. He only wore those colors for her, no one else though. Tommy brought up the topic of marriage first saying that before a baby came, he wanted to have a ring on her finger and a certificate in his hand. Velora shook her head at him as usual and asked him how he planned to do that. She was washing dishes, wearing just one of her oversized t-shirts and panties.

“Well, like this Sweet Pea. You thought you were gonna be stuck with me before. Now we’re going to make it official.”

“Miller, we moved in together three months ago, don’t you think it’s a little soon to-” His arms wrapped around her waist as he kissed her cheek.

“No it’s not. I told you we’d do one step at a time. This is the next step. We can make it big or small. Besides, I got this ring on sale.” He chuckled in her ear and reached in his back pocket, pulling out a small box. Vel dried her hands and turned around.

“Tommy I’m not taking some mood ring you got on…that’s a box. An actual box.”

“Yes. Wait, you thought I was gonna fake you out with a mood ring? What kind of man do you take me for?” Tommy exaggerated his fake outrage, crossing his hand over his chest and stumbling back. “You wound me…Vel how could you?”

Velora shook head again, her face in her hands, not believing what she was seeing. The punk did get her a ring. She hadn’t asked for one, she honestly thought it would be next year before she got one, they hadn’t even made wedding plans yet. “You keep surprising me every day Tommy. I find you as annoying as much as I adore you.”

“I’ll take that as a yes honey. Put this on so I can see it on the pretty hand of yours.” He removed the gold ring from the box and slid it on her finger. He held her hand as he moved it around, it appeared to be a little loose. “I was sure I got the size right. Vel, did you lose some weight?” His eyes squinted at her hand, they didn’t look much different so he released her hand and grabbed her hips making her gasp.

“Tommy! I haven’t lost any weight. We just have to get it re-sized. I’m still going to wear it anyway until we do. It’s beautiful.” She admired it, a 6 mm band with 1 carat diamond in an oval setting. “Wait, how much was this?”

Tommy ignored the question, his hands were roaming her hips and love handles, she felt a little less, though she didn’t look it. He would know, the man felt her up daily, several times a day. “Sweet Pea, when’s your appointment? I’m going to come with you.” Vel kissed his cheek before placing her left hand on it.

“You don’t need to, I’m fine. They’re just going to tell me I need to rest or drink more water or lose weight like they always do. It’s why I usually just go for my physical yearly and not much else.” She explained. Tommy knew not to press her too hard on it, they were both stubborn so he would just worry instead. A distraction was in order they had gotten a new dining room table, Vel had called his old table “musty” for the mismatched driftwood it had been made of. The dark cherrywood suited the otherwise light room perfectly, drawing your attention to it.

Tommy used his hands on his fiancé’s hips to guide her back toward the table, he reached and lifted her ass onto the table. “What’s gotten into you now? Don’t be picking me up like that. You’ll end up with a back like your brother.” He tugged on her panties pulling them down to her knees and then off. Squating, he used his forearms to part her thighs before nibbling her sensitive skin.

“If I get a bad back from lifting you Sweet Pea, I’m gonna make sure it’s well earned. Let me taste my fiance. I wonder if now you’ll be more savory or honeyed.” He felt her put her legs over his shoulders and place her calves against his back, by now, she was aware of the position he wanted her in for his meals.

“How does that make any sense? Shit…don’t just use one love. I always need more.” Her hips bucked at the insertion of his finger, he was teasing her, leaning toward her mound and inhaling deeply, filling his lungs with her scent, intoxicating as he found it.

“My greedy girl. I aim to please ya always.” A second digit followed, pumping into her down to the knuckle, usually he worked his fingers in slower but her juices were dribbling onto the wood table, making it glisten. “May have to use your nectar to polish the table later, Sweet Pea.” Tommy ran his other hand up her shirt, pulling it to reach her cushy belly. He placed a kiss on it before placing his hand on the small of her back and scooting her hips forward to start to curl his fingers inside of her, a small spongy depression he discovered inside her months ago that had her babble in between obscenities. Peering upward, his head was hung forward toward her chest, hands firmly on the table, arms taunt, forcing her pelvis to meet his hand. “Almost there Vel, a little more…” His thumb plucked the small bundle of red flesh hidden at the top of her slit. A feral growl left his love as his fingers were taken from her, thighs pulled his upper body forward.

“Tommy…Either put your fingers back in or use your mouth. You will not leave me like this on our dining room table. Didn’t you just say you ‘aim to please’?” His snickers echoes against her drenched mound, his breath, rolling over her sweltering skin.

“I do, but you know I like my pleasantries. I’m a Southern gentleman.” Velora couldn’t see his face, but she could picture his lips curving upward, forever teasing her. She guessed she knew what it was about, she was able to keep her balance with one hand as the other twirled in his soft onyx waves.

“A gentleman now huh? Who leaves a lady wanting? Not sure I want a gentleman then. I want the same man who told me he was starving and I had to make sure he had a warm meal.” Her voice raspy from her screams, cracking when she spoke. Tommy flicked his tongue on her clit, then blew on it.

“Not my exact words, but I’d hate to make such a beautiful woman wait.” He felt Vel release his hair as he plunged into her moist cunt, lapping at entrance, grunting with the roll of her hips toward his face. His mustache tickled her clit each time he pulled back to take a small gasp of air. Her body went rigid as her peak was reached and Tommy shot up to wrap his arms around her waist easing her down on the table. “Easy Sweet Pea, easy Velora…” He kissed her chin, her hands reached for his face and licked his lips,

“I think I’m more savory than Sweet love. May need to change my nickname.” The veteran’s head dropped into her chest, matching her laughter. He now knew how sturdy the new table was. It could stay.

One week later…

Joel pulled up to the florist’s shop. He needed to send flowers for the condolences of one of their frequent customers who would use them for construction contracts. The man’s mother had died and the elder Miller brother in his effort to be more sociable, was following more social cues. He also was doing what his daughter had suggested and ‘ghosting’ Tess. He didn’t feel great about it, but Sarah had advised to ignore her calls and texts since they couldn’t agree to which direction their relationship should go. Joel wanted a partner, someone who he would be comfortable having in his life with his daughter. Tess got along with Sarah just fine, because they didn’t spend much time together outside of a few weeks or a month. His sometimes partner was just fine with that arrangement, thus their disagreement. The man was currently distracted though so he wouldn’t be answering any calls, he was placing his order with the same florist who V had been getting her flowers from. On the glowing recommendation, he ventured into the shop and was met with a woman who had a silver streak in her otherwise strawberry blonde hair. She gave him a warm smile, wiped her hands off on her apron before reaching out for a handshake, it was firm and she had callaouses as well from the different plants she had worked with, a small pink mark was on her neck. Joel wondered what it was from, he did eventually place his order, but they ended up comparing handshakes, whose accent was stronger, discussing children, trucks and work boots. A warmth that Joel hadn’t felt since his wife passed spread in his chest, her name Andy, she had told him like the sheriff from ‘The Andy Griffith Show.” The two laughed over the reference and that their children had no idea who the man was.

Velora sat next to Tommy on the plane. He had asked her to set aside three particular weeks in September. Vel agreed as long as he didn’t have a flash mob or a minister to marry them at an airport. He defended himself by telling her she may be the one to take them to a drive through wedding chapel if she can find one, just to save some time and money. Her head found Tommy’s shoulder, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. She felt safe and terrified. She hadn’t had a chance to speak with him before leaving the country, well maybe she did, but she got cold feet, she was also nervous. It was happy news, but more than anything, she didn’t want to stop working. She knew Tommy would insist on her not working or at the very least, going on light duty, a compromise. Not a bad one if she was being honest. The flight was nearly thirteen hours, Tommy had done this by himself? There were points when they did move around and chat about what their actual wedding plans would be. Something small at the courthouse with immediate family and a reception at their house in the backyard, unsure of where they were going for their honeymoon, it was decided they could figure that one out later. Holding Tommy’s hand as the plane finally started its descent, Velora resolved to tell him one way or another.

The emerald grass crunched under their boots as they walked gingerly in the forest behind the cabin they were staying in. It was cozy and Tommy smiled to himself that Vel was indeed holding onto his arm for any warmth she could gather. He surprised her with the destination of Ireland, but he wanted to show her it’s beauty that he had seen on a much more somber trip. His fiance had been the first person he thought to bring here besides his brother and niece. They were on their way back from the same rocky outcrop that he spread the ashes over some months ago. Velora held his hand as he teared at the memory, glad that she was here with him this time and for every journey the pair would take after. Velora stopped and Tommy did as well, wondering why she had stopped walking.

“We’re almost there Sweet Pea. We can warm up and drink hot chocolate. Might even go out and try some brennivin. One glass though, it will knock you on your ass, almost got me.” He was trying to lighten the mood after this visit to the site. Vel shook her head and it made him confused, she looked nervous.

“I-I have something to tell you. Honestly, I had to think about it and wrap my head around it, because normally it's never anything.” A strong gust blew through the trees whipping the leaves loudly to where the puzzled man saw her mouth move but didn’t hear. He made out, ‘we’re…’ What? All of her body language changed, like she was about to burst, whatever it was it was happy, so was it what he thought?

“Say again Vel, I can’t hear you.” He pointed to his ears but she lunged toward him and cupped his face, giving his lips a peck. The wind had started to calm but was tossing her ponytail in every direction. “Tell me what earned me that.” He grinned.

“We’re pregnant! You’re going to be a father Tommy!” Snot was starting to run down her nose and her eyes were squinted due to the air currents, a mess, but to Tommy it was the face of the mother of his child. The only face he needed to see until the baby was born. His outcry of joy was matched by the enthusiasm in which he picked up Velora and spun her around. She screamed for him to put her down, her laughter spurring him on, eventually he did and tugged her along to their cabin where they lit the fireplace.

Tommy insisted that they shower and she spread out on the bed so he can put his head to her belly. She assured her fiance that it was too early for that but no was not an option. As her nails lightly scratched his scalp, Tommy rubbed his head on his other half’s stomach, knowing that a new life was growing inside of her.

“Thank you Velora. You’ve given me so much over the years. Now you’re giving me a little Miller and a future too. I love you Sweet Pea.” Closing his eyes, he listened to Velora breathe, her hand was still in his hair but she had fallen asleep. With a light huff, his fingers ran up her arm and traced her jaw, ending on her soft lips. “I’ll tell you again when you wake up, Velora. Rest up honey, we’ve a long road ahead together.”

Moots who might like it: @maggiemayhemnj @laurfilijames @rhoorl @fhatbhabie @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @trulybetty @goodwithcheese @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @yorksgirl @guelyury @perotovar @saturn-rings-writes @megamindsecretlair @morallyinept @legendary-pink-dot @undercoverpena @beabliss @grogusmum @sp00kymulderr @magpiepillsjunior @for-a-longlongtime @pamasaur @linzels-blog @mysterious-moonstruck-musings

#tommy miller x plus size reader #tommy miller #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller fanfiction #tommy miller smut #Tommy miller angst #tommy miller fluff #fanfiction #I needed more Tommy Miller so I wrote this

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that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main · 2 years

Text

Being Bloodhounds Younger Sibling

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Reader: General Netural | "you"/Y/n | Platonic

Notes: I really liked this

Warnings: one accidental walk in scene nothing explicit

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Bloodhound has always been very protective of you

Bloodhound taught you everything you needed to know

From multiple languages, Both the lauange of your people and of the diffrent worlds and too hunt using the old ways

Often they would try and keep you back, but you couldnt help but be excited to follow

You didnt know your parents like Bloodhound did, and they did there best to teach you as they would have.

You've picked up wood carving, especially on long hunts where you feel you do nothing but sit.

You often carve into the trees as well

When you were around the age where bloodhound lost there parents, they realized you were going amongst your own struggles.

No. Not Death, or Romance, Or Identity crisis

But rather your hearing

They realized you started loosing your hearing: it weak at first, not hearing things here and there, to not hearing things: like sticks crack infront of you

Your loosing your hearing and though you dont go deaf completely before they leave

Yet over time its clear you'll get there.

From then on, Bloodhound tries and make up a sign lauange for the two of you: its not exactly understandable to others, and some people are trying to learn it as well as you run around showing the kids your age

But with what limmited literal knowledge bloodhound manages to come out uptop, as they always do in your eyes.

Bloodhound's big day, coming of age hunt, was...worse than you anticipated it

You still young didnt really realize what your older sibling had done wrong

But it made bloodhound mad, and they even snapped

With immediate regret they apologized but still didnt let you have the burden of what was happening.

So when bloodhound went to...redeem themselves you werent expecting an attack on the village by the monster thats been plauging the village.

With your uncle now dead, Bloodhound was now leaving...

You were confused on exactly what your older sibling, your only family was leaving for.

"I'll see you when you come back?"

"When I come back." Bloodhound spoke louder than normal, accompanied with a nodded

Bloodhound watched the child nod, it. Saddening. Yet....relieving.

Nothing bad could happen to you with themself gone.

Days turned into Weeks, weeks into months, months into years, years into a decade...

Since Bloodhounds leaving you hadn't really fit in anywhere, adults labeled you back luck, a bad omen, kids were told to stay away from you, people talked about you infront of you and behind your back.

So....you left.

You get lost that is. Going anywhere but nowhere

In the deep snow you come across tracks, bears, small, one set, a cub.

Following them you find the little guy stuck.

New animal friend acquired.

After all he follows you on your heels for the next three miles

Hes small but he wont be small for long

He fits in your pack for now, and sticks his head out as you make your way.

Days and days of walking, camping and more walking

you finally see smoke, bad smoke, and push your way forward, maybe you could find people that way.

Turns out, your days of walking is brought by more walking

And you accidentally throw yourself into the apex games, (Duos to be exact)

Turns out the apex games were goin on in your very own backyard.

Luckily you and your new friend you yet to name have battle expirence under your noses.

You dont really seen anybody till you turn a corner at the bridge and run straight into metal.

Pathfinder luckily.

"You must be my teammate." He spoke happily, "I was wondering when you'd show!"

"Team...mate?" Y/n asked uncertain if they heard the bot infront of them.

"Highfive! Teammate!" He spoke happily, lifting his hand up.

Y/n looked at him confused but placed there hand on his, his screen lighting up in a smile causing them to flinch.

You were intrested, and because Pathfinder amd you met, you introduce him to your friend.

The bear in your backpack

"That is a bear!" He cheered, "what is name?"

Y/n hadnt come up with one, "oh. Uh. Bear?"

"Highfive Bear!"

Pathfinder sadly did not receive a highfive from Bear

But rather a growl in happiness and was the set down.

So you three contuined, and Pathfinder called out any weapons he seen for you

"You may like a Sentinel if you are new to this! Keeps yourself in the background!" Pathfinder commented holding the snipper in hand.

He stopped, watching Y/n look out in the distance, they looked. Solemn. Alone even despite the two new friends at there sides.

Pathfinder tapped Y/n's shoulder, Y/n turning around.

"You have a hard time hearing!" Pathfinder spoke loudly.

"Sorry." Y/n apologized.

"Will captions help you?" Pathfinder spoke.

"Captions...?"

Words showed up on Pathfinder's screen.

Perhaps words would be easier, y/n looked at the screen.

"I...dont know what that is." Y/n responded, unknowing how to read.

"Perhaps I shall just speak louder then! It is no problem!" Pathfinder chimed, "Please take this weapon!"

Y/n shook there head, "That is forbidden."

Pathfinder was confused, how did you even make it in the games?

But as you were discussing: a bullet past by the two of you.

Turning heads you both looked at a larger Islander Male and a Red head Jamaican girl.

"Poor bastards." She laughed her accent thick as Pathfinder Grabbed Y/n, both rushing for cover.

Bear rushing after the two, Y/n grabbing Bear before he slid across the metal floor.

You both were pinned, and you looked over the crate.

"Stay." Y/n ordered Bear, pulling an axe from there bag

You rushed the two, Pathfinder covering you as you were quick to climb the zipline with the axe in your mouth

Making it up quick you went for Lifeline, a strong kick into the underside of the jaw and then the but of the axe to the side of the head while Pathfinder handled the big guy.

You actually ended rocking Gibraltar's war club and your own Axe.

"May the Allfather guide there souls." Y/n spoke.

Wait. Allfather?

Pathfinder's heard that somewhere.

But he cant find where in his processors wheres he's heard that

With Bear giving out a growl in worry he'd be left down below, Y/n slid down and let Bear come back into there pack before climbing back up

"This is the ring!" Pathfinder explained pointing at his screen, "We are outside of it! We'll need to venture inside! And while so we may run into teams! Fun killing!"

When had killing become fun?

Y/n was silent though, as the two contuined on.

No guns were used by Y/n, just axe and warclub

And when they found Revenant and Mad Maggie, that Sycthe was added to the collection.

They didnt really run into to many people after that.

The two were walking across a bridge, exposed and out in the open

"Ay got two enemies out there. With two squadies left." Fuse spoke up, Krabber in hand aimed and ready to fire, "Got Pathfinder and some new kid. Take a look babe."

Bloodhound kneeled down next to Fuse, and Fuse detacted the scope and handed it over.

"I see the MRVN looting," Bloodhound explained, shifting the sights over before zooming in, the face unclear as there head was looking inside the crate, Pathfinder looked to be explaining things inside.

"No..." Bloodhound spoke, "That person. They are from my Village."

"Eh? Someone I gotta worry about for your hand in Marraige?" Fuse joked.

Bloodhound was in no mood, "They have a bear in there backpack. That isnt a competitor-"

"Such a shame." Loba spoke up, Pistol pressed to the back of Fuse's head, "I knew you were getting old but not that old."

"Hi bloodhound! Fuse!" Vantage waved to the two happily trigger ready to pull the trigger.

"Please. I ask for a truce-"

Loba laughed, "oh?"

"That person with Pathfinder. Is from my Village- they're not suppose to be here-"

"I could careless-"

"Show some compassion would ya?!" Fuse argued.

"They're family?" Vantage asked.

"They're trying to trick you!" Loba argued, "Whoever that is. Will kill us! They've already killed!"

Vantage looked at the two, "alright."

"I'll do it myself!"

"Wait!"

Two headshots later there was only two squads left.

"Looks like you were busy-"

"Shit! Ambush!-" Loba shouted, Pathfinder ziplining straight into her, sending her over the cliff to fall to her death.

Meanwhile Y/n jumped off some crates Vantage too impressed to move, it ending her time as she followed Loba off the cliff.

"We have our champions!"

"We won!" Pathfinder cheered, "We're the best!"

Y/n watched as a flying ball came into view, it had a camera as they looked at it confused, face covered in blood and confused as they looked at the thing.

"Damn kid!" Revenant shouted he on the drop ship, they all watching the two new championship.

"It is a shame we hadn't met in battle. An intresting challenge they would have been." Ash declared.

"You gonna be alright there?" Fuse asked, ice pack in hand, a nasty headcahe from the headshot.

Bloodhound nodded, back to everyone, secluded with there face uncovered and helmet off.

"I." They sighed, "Will be alright."

Fuse smiled at them, it small and fulled of concern.

"Really..thank you my Walter." Bloodhound spoke holding Walter's hand in reassurance.

"Oh my flyers!" Vantage shouted rushing over, "I'm sorry! I really am! I would of liked to help really!"

"Woah! Woah! Pup!" Fuse stopped Vantage from comin to close, "Houndy's not really comfortable infront of others without. Ya know."

"Right! Sorry!"

Bloodhound carefully put themselves back together before turning to the younger legend.

"I understand, as well as the predictiment. I congratulate you on your sucesful Slatra and Victory. The all father blesses you today."

"Me? No! No!" Vantage smiled, "That person from your village! They won! With Pathfinder. See!"

Bloodhound turned toward the screen.

A stagename given to them already 'The Nameless'

But nameless they weren't.

"Y/n..." Bloodhound responded longing, sadness, in the modulated voice, "Oh...my Y/n... what have you done..."

What?

Fuse is lost. "YOUR" Y/n?

Confused Australian noises

When the ship picks the champions up, all are confused.

Where the fuck did you come from?

No one really considers your win a win.

And the Bear that comes crawling out your pack scares the fuck out of Mirage.

They ears didnt pick up the soft call of there name, but there eyes caught the figure.

"Bad blood between the two?" Mirage whispered causing Rampart to elbow him, earing an Ow.

They were floored, watching the figure so familiar walk over. Diffrent in armour yes, but the allfather told Y/n who was truly infront of them.

Bloodhound stopped just a few steps away from Y/n. Y/n quickly fell to there knees, lifting the weapons of there bidding up in there hands above there head.

Bloodhound's gloved hand reached forward grabbing Y/n's hand, signalling them to rise to there feet.

"Weapons of my battle." Y/n responded, blinking erratically to dismiss the tears, "Slátra for the All father! Gifts for my leader."

Bloodhound held out there hands as Y/n handed them over, all of the damage with such simple weapons.

They slipped from Bloodhound's hands to the floor. Reaching over they quickly hugged Y/n.

Y/n unable to hold in any more tears as they cried and hard.

"I missed you! So much!" Y/n cried.

Bloodhound pulled away only to pull down there mask and place a hard kiss on Y/n's cheek, hugging them again.

"Are you crying?" Bangalore asked.

"What? No." Valkyire argued, a lie, "Okay. Its making me miss my dad-"

Bangalore was surpised but sighed as Valkyire hugged her.

It some how became contagious, hugs went around.

"I love you man!" Octane cried.

"Haha! Alright Alright!" New Castle laughed.

"Come on girlfriend!" Pathfinder cheered.

"No- No!-" Ash argued Pathfinder hugging her anyways.

"One dont hurt." Rampart smiled at Mirage.

"Neither does two." Horzion cheered bringing them both into hugs.

Vantage watched, it something she desperately wanted, affection, but none of that werid kissy stuff.

"Need a hug kid?" Fuse asked, "I could do with one."

"...yeah."

"Im not hugging you Demonio."

"Didnt expect one."

Bloodhound was all over you, wipping away the blood from your face mostly, gentle seeing a cut.

You missed this...this contact... there hands bare against your face.

They were always motherly to you, but fatherly in some ways.

Careful with you, but not so Careful like you'd break

You were...confused by them at the same time. This new bloodhound was...new. (duh)

And you didnt like the man staring at them from across the room

"There..." Bloodhound responded, "another to add to the collection.

Y/n left over the small butterfly bandages.

"I see you have no choose the way of the Raven." Bloodhound responded turning there head to watch Arthur tease the bear cub with it's tail feathers.

"...I...Im sorry." Y/n responded, "I...cannot hear you completely..."

"I know someone who can help," Bloodhound spoke louder, "They're always up for a new modification-"

"Someone said Modification!?" Rampart spoke up.

"But...we are-"

"I know." Bloodhound spoke grabbing Y/n's hand, "but we cannot keep denying the future to live in our past."

"Is...that why you left the tribe. Why you left....me..."

"No. Never." Bloodhound told holding there cheek, "I am a coward and should be shamed for what I did...to the tribe. To you. I am ashamed what I did to you. I am sorry. I beg for your forgiveness."

Y/n just hugged Bloodhound again. Bloodhound holding them tight

Fuse is a ball of fire sitting across the room.

"Hey egg. Stop throwin a hissy fit and ask." Maggie argued.

It was an understatement saying you were attached to Bloodhound.

Now people were your fans, you had to go into the Apex Games as an actual contestant.

Luckily you were allowed in, and given a room across from Bloodhound's

So with your new room and few things you own, aka you barely full pack, the chlothes on your back a bear, and the weapons from battle

Right you wanted to give those back.

You take your time, cleaning each one, sharpening them,

Gibraltar's wowed by your skill when you deliever it to him all prestige and pretty

"Wow! You're good!"

"It is your weapon. It should be with you."

Like said Gibraltar's thankful

Then you get to Revenant's room knocking on the door

He hates you due to humiliation.

But has to admit...you know how to sharpen your shit

You thank him, even if he just took it, after all you did use it, then just leave

And spend more time catching up with your older sibling

Fuse is kinda ticked off for the rest of the week.

He had no idea who you were, a sibling especially

You were young, good looking, strong, not afraid to show emotion.

Plus you had a fucking bear.

And shared culture with Houndy

Oh he thinks he's so fucked.

"Aye. Houndy. Can. I." Fuse started walking into the room, "Talk to ya."

Bloodhound looked over, "is everything alright My Walter?"

Walter closed the door behind himself, walking over to take a seat, Bloodhound bare faced,feeding Arthur.

"This...new kid."

"Y/n?"

"Yeah."

"What about Y/n?" Bloodhound asked.

"Did...ya know 'em. Ya know before the games."

Bloodhound chuckled, "I hope I did. Y/n before I left my village was...more than the all father to me. My everything..."

"But?"

Bloodhound was silent, stroking Arthur's neck.

"I...left Y/n there...my greatest, and most devistating decisions." Bloodhound responded, "One should not abandon family...and I did...I thought perhaps leaving them there...they'd be better off, I was just scared of facing what Y/n had thought of me after the attack."

"Ah..."

Fuse was even more mad at himself, of course they were siblings

Ah but jealously is a bitch

It was when Athur flew threw the open window you were confused.

Was it not feeding time?

He took to your arm as he use to so often.

And you walked over to Houndey's room.

"I believe Arthur came to pout to me about the lack of food-"

Y/n was frozen, in place, watching there sibling stripped of there top, sitting ontop another legend in a very much less clothed stature than there sibling.

"By The Allfather!"

Y/n quickly slammed the door, face red in blush as they backed up slowly in shock.

✧▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬✧

Pt 2?

Tags: @chase-ing

#x reader #bloodhound apex legends #apex legends bloodhound #bloodhound x reader #bloodhound x fuse #fuse apex legends #apex legends fuse #apex legends x reader #apex legends x gender neutral reader #gender netural reader #apex legends headcanons #Sibling!Bloodhound #sibling!reader #platonic x reader

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crucioslut · 6 months

Note

an abrupt , heated kiss during the middle of a fight -thelordofdarkness

Throughout the many years Lord Voldemort and Bellatrix had spent together, she'd learned time and time again to expect a certain level of disappointment from her master. There were needs that he would never fulfill and although this was a most painful conclusion to come to, she finally had. It had only taken a few decades to see things for what they were, and fourteen long years locked away from the world, and away from him to somewhat let go of those girlish dreamy delusions. It was clear to Bellatrix now more than ever what the wicked lovers were and what they were not. It broke her. But her devotion remained unscathed, intact and stronger than ever.

But this? Surely not after everything she had done for him.

It was just two months following her escape from Azkaban that the Dark Lord had vanished one day unannounced leaving not a trace behind. Nobody was aware of his wearabouts for weeks during which time Bella made herself absolutely sick with anxiety. Was he dead? Or worse.. had he simply left them? Left her. The witch's most fragile mind still fresh with the inky tarnish of the effects of Azkaban spiralled into madness. Her thoughts went everywhere, to the worst possible scenarios. During the nights she stay wide awake, at times inconsolable, at times so far away that she couldn't hear when her sister or husband spoke to her. Wracking her brain, Bella asked herself over and over what she could have done to make her Master hate her so, hate her enough to leave her without a single word.

Thin pale fingers carefully caressed the mark on her forearm, beckoning him to call her. But he didn't. For three week, there was nothing.

Without Lord Voldemort, Bellatrix would die. Yes, she would die, she'd convinced herself. Much of her felt dead already as it were.

That was until one night when suddenly he'd returned. Offering no explanation as to where he'd been all that time and conducting an entire meeting as if nothing had happened, making his most loyal sit at his right and repress such deep scorn she felt as though she would combust.

It was later that night, when they were all alone that Bellatrix could no longer hold back. She'd lost control. Had she been a moment younger, a pinch more sane, this would have never occured.

The outburst she'd started prompted her master to rise and make to leave the room, muttering something about her needing to get a hold of her emotions.

"UGH! No!" Bellatrix all but shrieked. Her hands flew to her heavy mound of thick black curls and pulled at them in frustration, wandless magic slamming the door shut just as the Dark Lord was about to cross the threshold. "No!" She yelled again, stamping her heeled foot on the marble floors. Her fists now balled to her sides as she stood, rigid and practically vibrating all at once.

"You can't- You can't do this to me!" Bella roared, she began stalking towards him. "How dare you?!" Never had Bellatrix spoken to her master this way. Not once, but she simply couldn't hold back. "After everything?! Everything I've done for you?" The last sentence a whisper.

As Bellatrix reached him their eyes met. Her face once twisted in rage of a woman scorned softened into doe eyes and a deep pout, her lip quivering. "I thought you were dead. I thought.. I thought you'd left me."

Like foolish butter she melted under that stone cold gaze of pure evil, just as she always had. Tears welled in her eyes. To her dismay, one managed to roll down her cheek. Head tilted curiously, her brows knit together. "My Lord.. Why didn't you tell me?"

By now the memory of rational that was left within her expected a punishment. She'd overstepped in a big way and was very aware. Of course, Madam Lestrange could have given up then. Sank to her knees and kissed his shoes, begged for his forgiveness. No.

To her astonishment, in a split second they'd switched positions. The Dark Lord flipping her around so that it was her between the door and him. His cold, reptilian touch was all over her neck and chest as his mouth covered hers, stealing away her choked back sob as her breathing became erratic. For a few seconds Bella reacted with nothing but shock, stiffening before completely, entirely relaxing against him. Physically feeling all of the tension leaving her body her shoulders went limp, heavy eye lids fluttering shut. Bellatrix opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, their tongues plunging into opposing mouths with vigor.

And there was nothing she could do but to succumb.

@thelordofdarkness

#christ almighty #sorry this ended up being so long lol #rough work week i needed this me thinks #voldemort #lord voldemort #bellamort #our girl is done with ya shit papi

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bigfrozenfan-fanfics · 6 months

Text

Chapter 71 - Captives and a war crime

Links: Chapter overview, Character list, Map, Glossar Rating: M over all Publishing cycle: around every 2-3 weeks

Remarks: all my chapters contain carefully selected music tracks (try to use headphones). It’s your own decision if you want to use them or not while reading. The purpose is to musically support the respective mood of the plot. If you can please use a browser for reading (not the Tumblr app) due to the text formatting and music.

“Open your mouth!” the captain barked at Albert, who was sitting on a chair in the castle guards' interrogation room. Three guardsmen stood around the two of them and did not take their eyes off their prisoner. Albert Monrad looked intimidated, but behaved surprisingly composed and calm.

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There was no escape here and if they proved even the tiniest detail of his involvement in the conspiracy, he would immediately be put in the brig of the next ship on his way to prison. Albert knew this and was fully concentrated without letting on. Thoughts raced in his head and he tried to look as innocent as possible.

“You cannot make me believe that you, as Osvald Monrad's brother, knew nothing of his machinations. So out with it!” continued Einar. “Admit it that you had a hand in everything and were also responsible for the fact that a brig anchored right in front of the jetty of the castle garden, thus forcing us to escort your brother to the harbour where your allies were already waiting for us. You knew from someone that we were going to ferry your brother safely and unseen in a dinghy. Admit that it was all planned down to the last detail!”

“Captain, I swear I had nothing to do with any of this. I am just an ordinary wine and spirits merchant, albeit an extremely well-known in Arendelle and beyond its borders. It's not my fault that the captain of my supplier's ship behaved like that. Please believe me,” Albert replied in the most convincing voice he was capable of in this situation. “I didn't know about any ambush either, how could I?”

Einar had so far been leaning on the armrests of the chair with both hands, his face threatening just inches from Albert's . Now he straightened up again and looked at him sceptically.

“Why is it that I cannot believe you?” he asked. “We haven't found anything incriminating in your house so far, but I think you are very cunning and would have had enough time to make all the evidence disappear in time. I have met a lot of people in my career and have developed an excellent knowledge of human behaviour, you must know. You can't fool me. You are hiding something and I will keep you here until I find out, be sure.”

“But believe me! I am a blameless citizen. It is normal that over the decades I have made many contacts with the nobility and with anyone who can afford my exquisite wines, which I import from many kingdoms. Even the castle has been one of my customers for many years. Just ask in the castle kitchen. Olina knows me and also Kai, who is responsible for selecting the wines. Ask him, he can confirm it for you, Captain.”

“Kai is not available at the moment, he is away for a few days, if not weeks. I cannot therefore ask him, and Olina, our cook is just that, a cook.” Einar pondered, not wanting to let up so quickly. With enough pressure, each respondent sooner or later gave in and revealed his secrets. It would be no different with Albert Monrad, even if he had good contacts with the upper class and had therefore learned to express himself in a chosen way. Besides, he is a trader and as such he also had to be able to haggle well and always be convincing. Einar was therefore not yet convinced of his innocence.

“By the way, we discovered something very interesting when we searched your house, which is not exactly typical for such a well-known wine merchant as you claim to be. Tell me, why do you have a dovecote under the roof?”

“The pigeons? Oh, that's a hobby of mine that I've been cultivating for over twenty years. As you surely know, I am not married and do not have a partner. I am very often alone, I am not overly busy and at some point I had the idea of having some pigeons delivered to me from the continent. I love birds and the pigeons are trusting enough that they are like a pet for me to look after lovingly, just like cats are for other people. I breed the animals, you know.”

“Hmm … and you expect me to believe that? Aren't pigeons also used as messengers for news?”

“That's right, you are well informed, Captain. They are called carrier pigeons, but ordinary pigeons are not suitable for this task and it requires years of training and partners who can devote a lot of time to help with it. It's certainly not easy, I can imagine, but it's not something I've ever really been interested in or had the time for, let alone friends who are pigeon fanciers like me. Or have you seen many pigeons in the capital or been able to watch them in flight?”

Einar unfortunately did not know enough about this subject and therefore did not know how to answer. But what he didn't know, maybe someone else could tell him and he made a mental note to look into it very soon. How cunning could a wine merchant with pigeons on the roof be. Only it was Monrad's brother and betrayal perhaps ran in the family, who knows. Stella had proved it anyway, so why not Albert?

“It's not over yet, Albert Monrad. You will be our guest for a while yet,” Einar said with an undertone of sarcasm, “Take him to the cell, men. We'll see you soon, Monrad,” Einar said, making a bored hand gesture to his guardsmen to get the prisoner out of his sight.

~~~

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“I thank you for your attendance at this informative meeting, here in the castle's venerable council chamber,” Anna said, standing at the head of the large table around which everyone she had sent for this morning was now seated. She looked into each and every one of the faces that looked towards her in a friendly and expectant manner. Then she sat down with Elsa at her right and added, “Please help yourselves to drinks before we begin.” Several maids now went round asking for the guests' requests and promptly served everyone before leaving the hall again with a curtsey to the queen.

“Well, firstly, I have to express our deepest thanks to Princess Mari and her father in absentia, King Jonas. Without her and her father's help, we probably would not have been able to deal with the precarious situation in the capital so quickly, not to mention changing the battle’s course at the Misty Pass! Mari, please tell your father that we will also visit you in person soon to thank him.”

“But of course, Anna and Elsa. I am already very much looking forward to your visit,” Mari returned with a smile in personal form of address. “I am glad that the capital of Arendelle is finally safe again and that all the agitators and conspirators will soon be brought to their just punishment.”

“Thank you, Mari, you have also taken one of my concerns for today right out of my mouth. Captain Jordahl, you will leave today with the prisoners for the naval base to transfer them to the nearby penal camp. I hope everything is in order and you did not have too many problems with the … what was it … fifty-two prisoners?”

Ole Johrdahl nodded, “Indeed, there are that many. Everything is going according to plan and after I have delivered them I will set sail tomorrow morning on the voyage to the other kingdoms you mentioned in your letter, Your Majesty.”

“I will sail with him to the southern base today, Your Majesty,” Captain Holmstein added, “then we can set sail together tomorrow on the first fresh breeze, Ole.”

“Excellent, gentlemen. You will be away for many weeks and hopefully return soon with ship's bellies bulging with food and animal feed. Please take good care of yourselves, I suspect the sea is treacherous at this time of year.” Both skippers nodded to her in acknowledgement.

Anna briefly explained to the others present her plan to ask other kingdoms and trading partners for help with the lack of supplies in Arendelle. This and the prospective Crown Prince's trip to Snoob would be the first big step and she assured them of her great confidence that the problems would soon be solved.

“Unfortunately Vakretta itself cannot spare anything, even we have just enough to feed our island population adequately in the cold season,” Mitya added to her remarks.

“Please do not worry about that, Ambassador Mitya, I am already grateful that you are leading the traitor Wael to his fate, far away from Arendelle.”

“Oh, and one more thing, Captain Holmstein, has Thord's former ship, the Jarls Pride, been refitted yet? We would also need a new name for the gaff sailer, but I have yet to think of one. If you have any ideas on that, let me know. I want to send it north to bring back men, equipment and prisoners, if General Mattias and Master Fabian have already succeeded. For that, I would need another candidate captain for the ship, who can also prove himself at this opportunity,” Anna asked, smiling at the captain.

“Most of the work has been done, but for the latter I have no one who is ready,” he replied. “Do you perhaps have a candidate, Ole, whom you can spare?”

“Indeed, I have someone in mind who also happens to be on board at the moment. I'll see to it as soon as possible, Your Majesty,” the other captain replied, inclining his head towards her.

“Very well, the meeting today is progressing faster than I suspected, except for a few things I have touched on the most important. There is only one thing I would like to say, and that is our deepest thanks to you, Sorenson. Your idea with the hospital and its quick implementation has saved countless lives. You can therefore expect an official award of honour from the Royal House of Arendelle shortly and I would like to take this opportunity to ask you whether you would be willing to continue to make your services available in the future and to move your permanent residence here to the capital. We would be very happy to help with the move, so you need not worry about that, nor about finding suitable permanent accommodation. What do you think?”

“I am very honoured, Your Majesty, thank you. But if you will allow me, I would like to think about this offer before I make a final decision,” the scientist replied with a thoughtful look. He seemed very surprised, but in a positive sense, it seemed.

“No problem, take as much time as you need, Sorenson. Dr Magnus, our thanks also go to you, for your tireless efforts over the past few days. You have given new hope to farming families and in the process have been instrumental in saving lives, and that goes especially for you, Myrtha. Without your help and your … one could almost say miracle ointments, many of the people would not have recovered so quickly. Many, many thanks!'

Both rose briefly and, surprised by these honest words, bowed before Anna and thanked her for this honour.

“This brings me to my last and possibly most important point,” Anna said after a small pause. “It's about your people, Yelana, and yours too, of course, Myrtha,” she smiled, “Not only have you always been kind and helpful to us in all the time since we first met you … but since we know our mother was Northuldra, we both feel a strong connection to your people. You have become like family to us. Moreover, the Northuldra have played an immensely large part in the war and we will never be able to thank you enough for that. Our deepest regrets for the losses you have unfortunately suffered … I honestly do not have the appropriate words.”

Silence reigned for a while and one could sense that each of those present had images flashing through their minds again as they recalled the terrible events before and during the war, images that were different for each of them and that recalled their personal involvement in the events to a greater or lesser extent.

“Actually, I was going to bring this up a little later, but it seems like the right time,” Yelana said. “We will be returning to our camp shortly to see our relatives and friends again. Furthermore, there are some very important reasons why all Northuldra must return and I would like to invite you both to accompany us for a few days, Anna and Elsa. It's important and it affects Arendelle too.”

“What is it that is so important?” asked Elsa curiously, bright-eyed.

“I would rather discuss that with both of you in private, if you don't mind.”

“If it concerns Arendelle, I need to know as well, Lady Yelana,” Captain Einar, who was also seated in the select group, spoke up for the first time. “Surely you understand that.”

She nodded at him in understanding. “There is no danger, Captain, if you should suspect that. It is rather something … familiar, you might say.”

“Oh … well then. Sorry, I …” but Yelana was already waving it off and he interrupted to apologise.

“Captain Einar, I hope you don't think I've forgotten you,” Anna said, interrupting the somewhat awkward moment. “That is not the case. As far as I know, you have Albert Monrad in hot water. Is there any news on that and has he already confessed?”

“Not yet, and unfortunately we haven't been able to prove anything so far. But I have reasonable doubts and will keep him in custody for the time being until I get more information or perhaps he wears down and makes a confession.”

“I see … beyond that, has there been any progress, perhaps, in deciphering Thord's documents?” Einar shook his head regretfully.

“Very well, thank you gentlemen. That should conclude our meeting. Yelana, Myrtha, please stay a little longer, then you can tell us everything that is on your minds.”

~~~

A day's ride away …

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“General, general, our platoon is back and they have prisoners with them!” reported one of the volunteer soldiers from Arendelle as he ran excitedly towards Mattias.

Mattias was sitting with some of his men and Honeymaren at dinner in the Northuldra camp and had been wondering when the first news would arrive or when the men would return. In less than an hour the sun was setting and it would soon be too dark to see anything in the woods, Honeymaren assured him. Mattias had been getting a little nervous in the meantime, but now he jumped up and faced the bearer of the good news.

When the young man stopped in front of him completely out of breath and had to rest his hands on his knees in a stooped position, Mattias put a hand on his shoulder.

“There, there, you didn't have to hurry so much. The few more minutes wouldn't have made me any more nervous. Come, sit down and take a deep drink of fresh spring water from the bucket over there and then eat with us,” Mattias reassured him and the soldier nodded before dropping to the grass and gratefully pouring two wooden ladles full of water into himself.

The general remained standing, looking intently in the direction from which the man had just come, and others now rose to see something among the trees.

Not a quarter of an hour later many men appeared, between them and on some stretchers they dragged behind them, more or less badly injured Northmen. It was Fabian's group that had split up to hunt the fugitive Northmen. The other group searched more to the southwest to find the rest of Thord's mercenaries. They manoeuvred the men who could still walk into an area enclosed by high wooden stakes and closed the door of the temporary prison. Then they called for healers and placed five stretchers on the ground in front of it. The Northmen on them were covered in blood and most of them unconscious. A few minutes later Northuldra healers attended to them.

“I'll be off then and leave you to it. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about and I don't want to disturb you,” Honeymaren said and made her way to the centre of the camp after Mattias confirmed her 'All right, see you later'.

“How did it go?” asked Mattias curiously of Fabian, who was pouring a ladle of water over his head and then taking a deep gulp from another ladle.

“Quite well actually, the Northuldra trackers have served us very well. They see tracks where I only see scrub,” replied the fencing master.

“Actually?” Mattias inquired.

“Well, an incident occurred during our mission. At some point we had to split up to increase the search range, and someone in the other group tracked down this Juhvo. You remember that sneak attack when we had already pushed the enemies to the west up the mountainside? He was Kolgrimr's second sub-leader in the eastern section of the forest.”

Mattias nodded, “How could I forget, that had cost us a lot of brave men.”

“Well, when our two groups convened the others were standing around a tree staring upwards.” Mattias raised his eyebrows. “And there hung Juhvo, viciously tortured and then strung up.”

“Who committed this atrocity?” the general asked angrily, standing up.

“That's just it, nobody wanted to have seen anything or done it.”

“This is a war crime, Fabian. Something like this should not have happened. Please stay on the case. I can understand the motives after what was done to us, but we have to find the person responsible and bring him to justice.”

Fabian nodded, “It probably won't be that easy, but I'll find him. I already have a reasonable suspicion. It must have been one of the commanders whose company was hit hardest by this attack. I suspect his men are now covering for him.”

“That sounds plausible, but raises some questionable issues if you are right. Proceed with appropriate caution, please, as direct action would probably only cause this group to close ranks and protect him even more from prosecution.”

“I'll think of something, Destin. What's going to happen to those Northmen now, anyway? To Arendelle and off with them to the penal camp at the naval base?”

“How do you know about that?” asked Mattias with a clearly astonished look.

“I have my sources,” the fencing master smirked, “but don't worry, that information is safe with me.”

“Of that I am certain, we know each other far too well for that. As for your question … they will be turned over to the Northuldra and returned back to the Northeast for questioning. Alena, this shaman, met them there in her summer camp and knows where they come from. They have better opportunities to squeeze them there, unlike us, their enemy. Know that they will receive a fitting punishment according to their traditions. Only Thord's men will come with us to Arendelle.”

“That is good. We seem to have caught all of them too. The trackers couldn't find any more traces in the remaining directions. Oh, and one more thing … we also got Kolgrimr's main sub-leader, that Karrál.”

“That's excellent news! But for now, rest and eat something, we have fried white fish or one of their traditional vegetable stews with flat bread to go with it. But the latter is baked with ground birch bark … not so much to my taste. But the fish is delicious.”

“Thanks for pointing that out, because I'm starving.”

~~~

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When Honeymaren came into the camp, the first thing she did was to ask some of her people about her father's funeral and what exactly had happened a few days ago. They told her about the fight and how Halvard finally died by Kolgrimr's hand. Honeymaren could literally see him standing in front of her during this account and could very well imagine how he fought bravely against his opponent. She imagined every single blow with his fighting staff and tried to put herself in her father's place. But even he with his fighting skills had no chance against Kolgrimr with his mental abilities. A tear stole from her eye as she thanked the Northuldra around her, for she knew from her own experience how deviously Kolgrimr could defeat him. Then she stood up and walked to the four monoliths to seek out his grave.

It was not long before she found his grave. There were two graves side by side, both laid out in the traditional way, with a narrow opening at the head, formed of flat stones, between which the free soul of the dead could escape. There was no name on her father's grave, but his knife with its distinctive handle lay in front of the opening. She would recognise this carving, made by him, among thousands of knives. As she knelt down in front of his grave, her tears flowed freely down her face and it took her a little while to compose herself.

"Hello, Papa. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to you, but as I'm sure you can guess, I've been busy making life hell for Kolgrimr and his men, as the Arendellians would say. Elsa, Ryder with his new friend and I have defeated Kolgrimr and Ahtohallan is now free too. I only wish I had been by your side when you fought him, or that you had escaped in time. Why did you take him on all alone when you knew what skills Kolgrimr had?" Again a few tears flowed and she had to interrupt herself.

"I hope your free soul is with your ancestors now and you look down on us all. Mother and your son are still in Arendelle at the moment, but they will surely return to camp soon. Then, with all our people, we will finally honour you properly and all mourn you for a whole day. Don't worry about us, it's all over now and all the enemies have been killed or captured. We are fine and normality is slowly returning to our lives."

"Oh before I forget, Joná was able to escape that day along with Ikka and they made it onto a ship from Arendelle that your family was able to escape on. Can you imagine that? He told us everything that had happend. I'm sure you can imagine how mother reacted to that. It really devastated all of us and then that day I also made a plan."

Honeymaren told her father everything that had happened since then. She spoke to him as if he was still alive, but that was the way it was among all Northuldra when a relative had died. Some even said they had seen the dead person's soul wandering around, which could well happen within a whole year. Only if it continued to happen beyond that did one have to worry and do something about it. Slowly, Honeymaren's mood lifted and she talked with Halvard for hours until it slowly became dark and she finally rose and said goodbye to him.

~~~

Later, Honeymaren walked across the camp, looked for Alena and found her, along with Árnason, sitting around a campfire talking to each other.

“Hello, you two,” she greeted and sat down with them.

“Honeymaren, how nice to see you. You've been away from camp all day and a few of your people have missed you already,” Alena greeted back with a smile and of course her young apprentice couldn't help but look at her in love. Honeymaren tried to ignore it.

“I've had a lot to do with General Mattias and then visited my father's grave, but I'm here now. Have you noticed that all the men from the north-east have been caught?”

“Of course, no one here missed that and many Northuldra would love to go over and cut their throats. But that would not be a solution, Honeymaren. They deserved punishment, no question, but I want them to realise first what lies they had succumbed to and how much they had been manipulated by Kolgrimr.”

“That would be far too little for them, to be honest. They wanted to get involved, Alena, they could have refused to carry out Kolgrimr's brutal plan and slaughter people that way at any time.”

Alena shook her head, “You don't know the North Peoples and you don't know what their families have been through. I have been listening since they came to our summer camp, Honeymaren, and I have learned something. They deserve to know the truth about their delusion and after that they will voluntarily take their punishment, I firmly believe that.”

“And what if they don't? How will you make sure they don't escape?”

“I will have to return in two or three days at the latest, for then all the families on the high plateau will abandon the summer camp, divide up the large herd of reindeer and return with them to the winter camp high in the north. By then I must have convinced these men of their great error, for you are unfortunately right about one thing, Honeymaren. I cannot tell the truth to my own twenty men, even if they were under the influence of a potion, unlike the others in Kolgrimr's retinue. I must keep the two groups separate, or this will end in disaster, and for my people.”

“How do you imagine that? It will never work, or will you bring the prisoners back alone only accompanied by Árnason? Impossible! That borders on suicide.”

“I honestly don't have a solution for that yet, Honeymaren. I'm afraid I'm in a dilemma and everything depends on the talks over the next two days.”

~~~

On the border with Snoob …

It had been a long and bumpy ride for Kristoff and Kai and Sven was happy to be on a long journey with Kristoff again. Sven remembered well the last time they had all been here, together with Anna and Elsa. Back then, the only bridge over the deep Gufen Gorge had collapsed behind them just as they were crossing it, and only by Elsa's quick intervention with her ice powers was she able to save them all with a big ice slide down into the valley.

But by now the dilapidated bridge had been completely rebuilt, stronger than before with a sturdy stone foundation and thick wooden planks as a roadway. Sven made a loud snorting sound to draw Kristoff's attention. He was having an animated conversation with Kai about his brother Karl and what they could expect from him. Sven repeated it again, looking at him with wide eyes and nodding several times at the new structure.

Kristoff looked up just as Sven drove onto the new bridge, but didn't notice what Sven was trying to say.

“Hey, Sven, buddy, you see that? They rebuilt the old bridge! Looks great, doesn't it? Man, that was some adventure back then!”

Sven shook his head in disappointment, because that was exactly what he wanted to tell Kristoff. Sometimes Kristoff was so lost in thought that you had to poke him in the nose first; thought Sven and rather concentrated on the way again, because the sun was already setting and it was still far to their destination.

Some hours later, they finally reached Snoob, a small cute town in the middle of a winding valley. The lanterns were already lit in the decorated streets when they knocked on Karl's front door.

Karl could not believe his eyes when he saw his brother standing in front of him. A second later, he was already hugging him and right after that, they both did their traditional greeting ritual, with Karl reciting a chant that was about birds and Kai finishing it, along with a special handshake.

“Kai, I am so pleased that you accepted my invitation and now you are here. Won't you all please come in, we're just having dinner. Hello, Kristoff, or maybe I should say Your Highness now, right?” Karl laughed and made a welcoming gesture.

Finally, when they were all seated and Karl's wife was spooning vegetable stew onto their plates, Karl mentioned the Autumn Festival.

“You are actually already a bit late, because our Buferdsdagen autumn festival ended two days ago. Only the decorations are still hanging around everywhere, as you have surely noticed.”

“Because you bring it up, Karl. Unfortunately, we had to cancel ours and I think you already know why. After all, you gave the invitation for Kai to the captain. Actually, we are here because we want to ask you, or rather the farmers of Snoob, for help,” Kristoff said.

“I can guess why,” Karl replied, “the capital needs supplies for the winter season. Well, we had a good harvest and the silos are well filled. I don't see any problem there and we can take care of it first thing tomorrow.”

“I have a request as well, Karl,” Kai added. “Can you get me an audience with the province’s baron? After all, I'm not just there for a holiday, I also have an assignment to fulfil for the queen. But I promise, this time I won't just stay for a day, if you don't mind, but I can be here longer.”

“I'm so glad and you can stay with us as long as you like, brother!”

~~~

youtube

The evening had fallen in the castle of Arendelle and the sisters were sitting with Yelana and Myrtha in the fireside room in front of a crackling fire with a hot cup of chocolate, chatting comfortably together. Yelana had already told them the reasons for their return journey before they had dinner together, but had not been very forthcoming about details. The sisters were now suitably curious.

“Well, Yelana, go on then and don't make such a secret of it,” Anna said, sipping her cup audibly.

“Well, apart from the planned marriage of Joná to Ikka and to reunite our families and so on, my main concern is that I am no longer eligible to be the leader of our people. I'm already far too old and sooner or later I'll have to choose a suitable successor anyway.”

“Let me guess, Yelana,” Elsa agreed, “you have Honeymaren in mind, right?”

“Well spotted, Elsa. Despite her young age, she is the only person who comes to my mind and is best suited for this. I had had her in mind and my plans for her for a long time, but I think recent events have impressively proved to all of us what she is capable of. When I compare her with my own experience, she is superior to me in many respects, far even. Not only does she have great courage and love for our people, but she can also see far beyond the edge of a guksi and plan for the future. On top of that, she has great intelligence and exceptional physical abilities that make a good leader.”

“I think that's a good choice too, Yelana,” Anna agreed, “but then what do you plan to do in the future? Serve as an advisor to her, to instruct and prepare her for her new role in the community? Does she even know about it yet and would she agree to it? As you said, she is still quite young and may have other plans or want to start a family.”

Elsa paused in mid-motion to bring her cup to her mouth and had a certain thought because Anna had just mentioned it and she had almost stopped thinking about Honeymaren's love’s confession to her. But then wouldn't it be advisable for her and Anna not to accompany Yelana?

“That may well be, of course, but I think I know that it will not happen.” Yelana, of course, knew all too well about Honeymaren's longing for her great love, but she also knew that it would not be a good thing for either nation, despite the good relationship with Arendelle. Yelana cast a quick sideways glance over at Elsa and their eyes met.

At that moment Elsa realised that Yelana knew and after a few seconds of searching each other's eyes, she nodded to Yelana in a certain way. She received a knowing smile back in response. Then Yelana continued.

“When I have cleared everything with her I would like to return to Arendelle, continue to serve as a councillor and settle permanently here somewhere in the countryside. Provided you both agree to that.”

Myrtha had kept quiet so far, but at this statement, as the only other Northuldra present, she had to say something in response.

“Yelana, while I agree that you have chosen Honeymaren as your successor, now that the threat of Kolgrimr is finally gone, I think you should stay with our people. You belong with us and they miss you. And as Anna said, it is necessary that you instruct Honeymaren and teach her what will be her new responsibilities. That takes time and apart from the fact that it's also quite beautiful in Arendelle, it's no comparison to our vast, sparse birch forests, the nature, the reindeer and ultimately the closeness to Ahtohallan and the nature spirits. Which brings me to another question.” With that, she looked Elsa straight in the face.

“Will you return to us, Elsa? You have all your powers back now and you are still our Fifth Spirit.”

With that, Myrtha had brought up two explosive matters. There was an awkward silence for a while and Myrtha had the undoubted impression that she had hit a sore spot. With all three of them!

Anna and Elsa started to answer at the same time, but with gestures they could not decide who should speak first, when Yelana intervened.

“You're right, Myrtha.”

They all looked at her

“But there is something else I have not yet mentioned, and that also requires Honeymaren's presence in Arendelle. At least temporarily, because I have a crazy idea about that. However, two things are necessary for this. Firstly, I have to show it to both of you first, Anna and Elsa, and secondly, it is ultimately up to you to be allowed to implement my plan. It will unite our two peoples like never before and open up unimagined possibilities for the future.”

~~~

Ole Jordahl let the ARN Crocus slowly steer around the island and navigate between other smaller islands offshore. No easy task in these somewhat treacherous waters in the increasing darkness. But the helmsman knew his way around like the back of his hand and steered the big ship to the harbour with somnambulistic certainty.

The royal naval base was located south of Snoob on a small island that was only connected to the land at one point and otherwise surrounded by sea, small fjords and tiny rocky islands. In addition, the waters all around were interspersed with underwater rocks and often offered incalculable currents.

Directly on the narrow land connection lay the large fort as a bulwark against possible attackers and constantly manned watchtowers stood about every fifty metres around the island. To the south, in a deep, protected indentation, lay the Arendelles shipyard and in the centre was the extensive penal camp with attached laundry, workshops and many other buildings that served to run the base. Finally, there were the closely guarded barracks for the prisoners themselves. So far, no one had escaped from here in the last decades, and the hull crew of the naval base comprised several hundred men, in addition to the changing ship's crews and the countless freelancers and suppliers from the mainland.

When the Crocus was about to enter the harbour, the skipper had light signals sent out so that each of the guards knew there was no danger. The ARN Sunflower followed a few ship lengths behind them and was now closing fast.

Despite his years on the base, Jordahl was always fascinated by the massive fort, which was built in a star shape and gave views in every conceivable direction. It was a bulwark with walls metres thick and the largest fortress that existed in all of Arendelle.

Half an hour later, the skipper headed for his quarters on the island, shortly after which he threw his document bag on the table, made himself a cup of tea and dropped into his comfortable armchair. The rest, i.e. the removal of the prisoners to their cells, was now taken care of by others, as was the stocking up of supplies for the long journey that began tomorrow morning. Just enough time to take a bath, pack a few personal things and get enough sleep.

Captain Holmstein was probably feeling the same way right now; Jordahl thought and looked through the royal documents again to plan the route.

~~~

---

Remark: I hope you have enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a comment if you liked the story, I would be pleased to read your opinions, even criticisms. If you want to be tagged as soon I publish the next chapter please let me know, except you are already tagged :-)

Tagging: @true--north @annaofthenorthernlights @dronning-formynder05

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sunspray-peak · 8 months

Text

Ch. 55: History Lessons & Arcane Confessions

SUNDAY - WINTER 7

He felt better.

And not only because Dr. Harvey had finally declared his fingers and hand fully healed—the doctor had been most pleased at his body’s progress. His mind’s, however… well, still not 100%. But at this rate, Achilles didn’t know when he’d ever feel 100% ever again, so he might as well start learning how to live at 40%.

That being said, there were only a few choice people he felt he could currently bare to be around. He hadn’t the energy for either idle chatter or for powering his poker face, and mercifully, it was Caroline who was manning the register at Pierre’s today, rather than Abigail or the nosy proprietor himself. Rather than remark on his strange behavior the day of the ceremony, or on his recent absence from the general store, she merely handed him his post-jog tea and wished him a good day.

Alex was in Zuzu, Elliott out of town, and Leah hard at work on an ice sculpture for tomorrow’s festival, but Achilles was determined to keep himself out from the quicksand confines of his house today, and so, with Elliott’s novel under his arm, he ventured to Pelican Park with a small bag of grapes and his third favorite pen.

Luck (finally) continued to be on his side. Maru and Penny were the only ones out and about around town it seemed, and they too politely kept their noses out of his personal business when they ran into each other by the fountain.

Penny thanked him for the books he had paid for to be bound—“The students were so excited!” —before adding a rather intriguing offer. “Have you ever considered teaching? Meridian Middle is always looking for substitute teachers, if you’re ever looking for something to do…”

He could feel Maru, perceptive at usual, taking note of the dark circles under his eyes, his dry skin, the cracked lips. But having more tact than likely many others in the town, the girl chose to nod at his beanie instead. “The temperature is forecasted to drop a bit more. You should check out the spa, it’s right by my place. It opened earlier this week for the first time in like thirty years—don’t worry, I tested the water, everything’s fine—but it’s really nice. Excellent if you need a place to relax and replenish…”

A spa, huh? Didn’t sound like a bad idea. His gloves hadn’t been enough to ease the frost from his increasingly numb fingertips, and his handwriting was definitely getting sloppier by the second. He thanked the pair and, following their directions, made his way north.

*****

Outside of his jogs, Achilles had visited the railroad perhaps only three times since moving to Stardew Valley. It seemed a strange place for a spa. Not that the train came through the Valley all too often, but he imagined that the rumbling and horns, even just twice a day, couldn’t be the most conducive to what should’ve been a relaxing environment.

The creamy wooden facade of the building seemed an odd choice as well, a stark contrast to the angular tempered glass of the sauna visible at the back. Wooden stools had been placed within amidst large leafy plants. They looked alive and well—quite unusual, given the Winter season.

Most mysterious.

He passed a small water feature gurgling near the front—he could feel the heat of the water already—and padded softly through the front doors, unsure of what to expect.

No lobby. Not even a front desk, let alone a receptionist. Just an empty square of a room, tiled in seafoam green ceramic.

Most mysterious indeed.

To the left, the women’s locker room. He headed for the swinging door on the right.

More seafoam tiles. Very retro—Maru had said it hadn’t been open in three decades. That being said, the space seemed clean enough. A few mint colored towels had been set out, tightly rolled, next to the showers. There was even a small weight room in the back.

The pages of Elliott’s novel were already beginning to curl in the growing humidity. Deciding that he’d finish reading later, he dropped the binder off in one of the lockers, all empty, except for one plastered with a few faded photos of bodybuilders. He followed the trail of stifling heat out to the spa.

Like the rest of the space, it wasn’t anything fancy. Hell, Achilles’ tub at home was nicer than this electric blue tiled wasteland (seriously, between the trains and the color scheme, how in the world was this supposed to be a place to “relax?”). But the steam was seductive, and he found himself drawn deeper into the space. The pool was large, shaped almost like a wine glass, with a narrow stem connecting the larger half to the deep end at the other side of the room.

Not having anticipated coming here, he hadn’t brought a change of clothes. That being said, it took only a few minutes of soaking his feet in the lightly perfumed waters before he stripped down to his underwear and immersed himself completely. How had he gone through life never knowing how to properly float? Thank goodness for Alex.

Alex…

Breathe in.

He closed his eyes.

Breathe out.

He was in deep now. Yes. Very deep. He could tell by the little thrum in his chest, the flutter in his rapidly beating heart.

Well. You ought to do something about it, then.

That’s what the Achilles of yesteryear would do. Make a move. Or, at the very least, say something, instead of pining like a pathetic, hopeless romantic. Now that part of him believed that there could be chance, that he hadn’t imagined Spirit’s Eve…

And even if the feelings weren’t reciprocated—well, he could at least say he tried. Had done everything that he could have. No regrets, right? What was the harm? Alex wouldn’t think of him any differently. He’d turn him down gently, he could picture it even now.

Oh wow! Really? I’m really flattered, Ash. I just… I’m not attracted to guys. I’m really sorry. But I think you’re so cool, and I’m really glad we’re friends…

He’d be wide-eyed and apologetic. He’d probably be biting his lip, futzing with his hair, tapping his foot… Achilles couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of it.

But if his feelings were reciprocated…

Oh.

Was it possible for him to turn any redder in the sweltering heat of the spa?

Oh, but was he even ready for something? Was it even fair to say anything, for either of them? He had no job, no goals, no plan. Where was he even going to be living next year? He could be back in Hyacinthia for all anyone knew…

But what if he stayed? He had his farm, he could take Penny up on her offer, perhaps teach a bit at the middle school. And maybe… maybe he could write.

Fat chance. You can barely string two words together these days.

Such a quiet life it’d be, to stay in the Valley. Nothing like what he had always wanted for himself. The glitz and the glamor and the titles and awards and attention.

If he stayed—even if Alex did want him—would it be enough? Would it ever be enough, or would he always be yearning for something more?

You will never be content.

*****

When he opened his eyes, there was nothing to see. Nothing to hear. Nothing to feel. No curls of steam or the gentle splash of the water. But there was a familiarity in the utter darkness, and so he was not afraid.

“Rasmodius?”

The lights flickered on.

Still in the spa, he was. Thank Yoba for small favors, he wasn’t in the mood to go traipsing down a darkened tunnel to the Wizard’s supply closet. Then again, had he ever been in the mood…

Standing across from him, pacing along the edge of the pool and still wearing his heavy black cloak, was Rasmodius.

“Do you know what is so special about this spa?” Rasmodius’ voice, low and husky, echoed across the chamber.

“No. I’m afraid I don’t.”

“Nothing, now.” A bitter, empty bark of a laugh that Achilles did not return. “Nothing… just another keystone…”

The Wizard paused his pacing to study Achilles’ stony visage through the steam.

“You are angry with me.”

“No.”

Like grudges, anger—pure anger, that is—was not an emotion Achilles often managed to hold on to for long. It had always burned too fiercely and too fast for him, and was usually more or less quick to settle somewhere between disgust and indifference. Nevertheless, as the syllable escaped his mouth, so too did the hollow of his apathy, to be replaced by a scarlet flash, sour in his throat like bile.

“Actually, on second thought. Yes. Yes I am. Angry.”

Under the milky water, his hands balled into fists, but he kept his voice steady even as his stomach churned in this sudden resurgence of rage, fueled all the more by Rasmodius’ dull-eyed, impassive stare.

He was just starting to feel like a person again, why did Rasmodius feel the need now, of all days, to disturb this fragile, newfound peace.

“Do you remember the first day we met? Back in the Spring, after I found your scroll in the community center. You told me I had passed a test. And you said that… that maybe the Valley would need me.” God, the words sounded childish. Oh, you thought you were special? This was nothing but embarrassing.

But in his anger, he continued.

“You were real cagey about it. Real wishy washy. Didn’t make any promises, no assurances—but it was whatever. I thought, you know, fine. Sure. Don’t think too much about it, Achilles. Find something else to occupy your time. Until a shadow brute in Sunspray Peak confirmed it. That I… that I was somehow… connected. To the mines. And to the fate of the Valley.

“And so I brought it up to you. I wanted your wisdom, I wanted your help. But what did you do, Rasmodius? You told me to forget about it. You told me I was… useless. That I didn’t have a purpose here.”

And that’s all you wanted, wasn’t it? A purpose. A reason why you should matter.

“But I ended up in the mines, anyway, didn’t I? With barely a warning. Next to no preparation. Little idea of what to expect down there. But I had asked you, remember? I had asked you for help, for information, and you enchanted me instead. The things I saw down there. The things I heard… I thought I was going to die. I sometimes now wish I had.”

Achilles was trembling now. He had tried hard not to waver, he had cried enough this past week, and he’d be damned if he shed any tears before this damned Wizard—but even so. It was hard to keep the strain from his voice.

“God, I’m angry—fuck. But—” He collapsed against the wall, brought his hands to his forehead, covered his eyes.

He didn’t make you any promises. This was all your own fault. You wanted to be special so damn bad, didn’t you? Couldn’t just leave it all alone. You’re just looking for someone to blame. Always. You don’t deserve to be angry at anyone but yourself.

“I’m not angry with you. Fuck. I’m… I’m angry at— I’m pissed that… God, I wanted to start over so badly when I came here, I wanted to start something new, and I just never knew how, and I thought… I thought this was it, didn’t I? I thought this was my chance. Fucking hell…”

Rasmodius said nothing. For a minute, the only sound was the fluorescent hum of the lights.

When he finally turned to meet Achilles’ gaze, there was a heavy sorrow in his violet eyes. The Wizard’s shoulders were stooped as he slowly removed his hat and held the brim tightly in both hands. In a soft, quivering voice, as weak as Achilles had ever heard it, Rasmodius said, “I owe you an explanation. But I first must ask if you are willing to hear it.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“The truth can be both difficult to speak and difficult to hear. You will see that I believed my actions to be justified—and that, you may not like to hear.”

Achilles didn’t bother biting back his scoff as he paddled for the shallow end, where he could better face Rasmodius head on. He took a seat on a shelf built against the wall, still half-submerged within the comforting confines of the steaming water.

Meanwhile, the Wizard had conjured closer one of the wooden benches that had been lining the upper half of the pool. He fixed his robes and took a weary seat.

And once Achilles had made himself comfortable, he began.

*****

“I had always had an interest in spirits. From a young age, I found that I could speak to them. And they to me. And thus, it came to be that to visit the Astral Plane was as easy as stepping foot into my own home.

“I began to devote the bulk of my work to their study, and in my research, I found myself drawn to a trivial little town situated in a trivial little valley tucked into the southern coast of the Ferngill Republic. Most of my compatriots cared little for history—it is not quite so flashy a field as others, as you can imagine—but I knew my pursuits would one day pay off, and so despite their ridicule, I studied on.

“The land that is now called Stardew Valley had been a major battle ground during the Spirit Wars, though most of its secrets and stories have naturally been lost to time over the past two thousand years. That being said, magic leaves its marks. And I, young and naive, and desperate to prove my worth, was confident I would be the one to uncover them.

“The original inhabitants of the land—this was roughly three centuries ago—came for the iridium buried deep within the Sunspray Mountains. Stardew Valley a mining town. Can you imagine that?

“With thanks to a certain Mayor Jonathan Keppler, for whose diary I spent decades searching, I learned that several years after the founding of the town, the miners accidentally uncovered a long forgotten artifact from the beginning of our world, from before the Wars, before humanity, even. A Portal, leading directly from the Spirit Plane into ours.

“It was not supposed to exist. As you know, the Portals were all destroyed to prevent another war.

“But in finding this Portal, the townsfolk must have woken it, and in doing so, provided the shadow spirits—who had long been exiled to the Spirit Plane after their loss in the wars—the gateway they had been waiting for to infiltrate our world.

“Mercifully, the townsfolk were quick to recognize their mistake. The practice and study of the arcane, you see, was more widespread among the common folk such as yourself back then. The mines were quickly abandoned, and blood magic used to seal off the floors in an attempt to rectify their folly.

“Why blood, I do not know. It is an incredibly crude sort of magic, one that demands a high price. But it is simple and straightforward; it is likely the townsfolk had little time to develop a more thorough solution.

“Regardless, it ultimately ensured that only those who shared blood with those who crafted the enchantment would be able to pass through the trapdoors that separated floor from floor. The shadow spirits, obviously having no relation to any of the townsfolk, would therefore be unable to leave the confines of the bottom most floor of the mines. Trapped forever they were, unable to escape their granite cage. You see, boy, it essentially rendered the Portal useless.

“Stardew Valley was safe. And so, in turn, the entirety of our Plane. A war had been prevented.

“But all magic will naturally weaken over time, if not occasionally renewed. Although the danger had passed, few folks remained in the town after these events, and I surmise that fewer still remembered the stories that their forebears told of the shadow spirits that had once nearly broken through.

“You have been taught that the shadow spirits’ power waxes and wanes with the season, reaching a peak the week of Spirit’s Eve?”

Achilles grunted an affirmative.

“Approximately 40 years ago, precisely on Spirit’s Eve, we wizards heard rumblings of a severe disruption within the Spirit Plane. Something had happened.

“What that something was, we wizards were unsure—but the disturbance was swiftly traced across the sea to Stardew Valley. My work had finally paid off. I was the obvious choice, and was swiftly selected by my guild to leave immediately for Ferngill to investigate further and report back.

Rasmodius’ eyes gleamed—a greedy shine evident even through the spa’s steam. “I was… triumphant. I deserved this. This was my opportunity to demonstrate my worth to my guild once and for all. No longer would they sneer and turn up their noses at my endeavors. No. They would all know my name, now.

“For not only would I locate the information that we sought—I was determined to find the solution to whatever problem had clearly occurred. Singlehandedly.

“But when I arrived, I learned that folks in this simple little town had, to use a common phrase, beaten me to the punch. I speak of course of Marlon. Gil.”

“And Mona.” Achilles had interrupted, his voice biting and low as he watched Rasmodius for any signs of remorse.

Rasmodius did not disappoint. His violet brows drew closely together at the mention of her name.

“Ah. Yes. And Mona. The third member of this so-called ‘Adventurer’s Guild’…”

Here, the Wizard’s voice wavered. A barely imperceptible shake of his head.

“Perhaps it was jealousy. More likely it was pride. But I chose to ignore them.

“Nobody knew spirits like I did, and those three had not spent decades studying the arcane arts as I had. I did not need help, least of all the help of backwards, bumbling young villagers who likely wouldn’t recognize a spirit if one raked its poisonous claws across their face.

“I conducted my experiments away from them. They busied themselves with what was clear to me a misinformed, futile mission in the mines, and for the first year or so, I let them carry on with their business while I carried on with mine.

“But success wasn’t as easily found as I had anticipated. The disturbance was clearly connected to the mines, and, I assumed, to the Portal the mountain housed deep within itself. But from what I could discern, the seals upon the trapdoors were still intact. No shadow spirits had escaped their prison. I could hear their murmurs from deep within the fortress of the abandoned mines.”

Had a breeze rippled across the water? Or perhaps the cold had come from within him, a bone chilling shiver that had sent Achilles’ body recoiling at the memory of those same murmurs.

“I began to second guess myself. I began to miss my books, my mentors, fellow wizard and witches. Perhaps I would, in fact, need reinforcements, to better understand this puzzle.

“But war had just broken out between Ferngill and the Gotoro Empire, and in my willful pride, I had delayed too long. Almost overnight, I lost contact with my guild. I was on my own. It was what I had wanted, wasn’t it?” Rasmodius’ chortle wheezed into a sigh. “No… it was then I finally realized, I could not do this on my own. But too little too late, as they say, is that right?

“If not for Mona…”

Rasmodius stood now, and began again his pacing along the edge of the pool.

“She was a peculiar girl. Not a witch, but common, like yourself, and thus born with the more limited magical abilities of your kind. But she was an incredibly bright young lady—fearless and strong, and a fellow lover of history. A quick learner who had managed to teach herself a number of skills steeped in the arcane.

“She approached me the Spring of my third year in the Valley. The Adventurer’s Guild had approached me before, of course, but only now was I, in my desperate state, willing to hear them out.

“She spoke first of monsters that had been terrorizing the town at night. I had known this, of course, from my own examinations, but I had not given them much thought. Monsters, after all, are not spirits. They are of little danger in the grand scheme of things…”

Fuck you, tell that to all the bruises on my body. But Achilles held his tongue.

“Now the Adventurer’s Guild had originally been working to stem their invasion. But Mona was a highly discerning young lady and she found it highly unusual the rate at which the monsters only seemed to gain strength and numbers, no matter how many they killed.

“For weeks, she diligently traced their tracks back to the Sunspray Mountains, and subsequently surmised there must have been something strange happening down in the mines. Something must have been providing extra power to the monsters.

“That was when the Guild began their subterranean expeditions. And they discovered…” Rasmodius paused. A deep sigh left him, and he sat back down on the bench, hunched again, his forearms resting against his thighs. “And they discovered precisely what I had failed to see.

“The seals in the mines had weakened significantly. The spirits had broken through the bottom most floor and had been spilling into the upper caverns.

“Most were still unable to leave the mountains. The enchainments hadn’t fallen entirely, and only the strongest spirits could fully overcome the residual blood magic as well as the tether of the Portal —but even so. It was enough. The mines—one of the most vital keystones of the Elemental Walls that protected the Valley—had fallen to the shadow spirits. I realized then that the collapse of this first keystone must have been the disturbance we wizards had felt across the Gem Sea that Spirit’s Eve.

“What is more, those spirits who could overcome the tether had already made their way to destroy the second closest keystone. The community center. There are five keystones in the Valley, Achilles. One falling was bad enough. Two would be disastrous. Three entirely apocalyptic. With three keystones destroyed, the entire Wall would fall. We would not be able to recover.”

“How had I missed it? It was right under my nose. I had spent years studying the site, and I had not even an inkling. I hadn’t heard the spirits. Not on the surface—no, I had only heard their trapped screams deep within the crust of the earth.

“I began to question everything. What else had I missed? How had I failed to sense their presence at the community center? Were the other keystones safe? And why had I been so determined to act alone?

“Yes, I had been prideful, yes I had thought myself above the Adventurer’s Guild—but to have been so dismissive, after a year of no progress? Why had I waited so long to have reached out to my guild for help?

“That is when I knew… That, Achilles, is when I knew. I could not trust the voices. I could not trust my own thoughts. The shadow spirits must have infiltrated my mind—taking advantage of my arrogance, twisting my own thoughts to ensure that I did not get in the way of their success…

“That being said, we refused to give up. Mona and I put our heads together, combined our knowledge, our skills. I learned to trust her. She became… like a daughter to me.”

Another sigh. Rasmodius buried his head in his hands.

“Day in and day out, over the course of the Spring, we worked to find a solution in the mines, a way to revitalize the seals or perhaps implement new ones. Anything to keep the shadow spirits from continuing their infiltration. It would be a highly, highly difficult task with such a limited pool of magic—I was but only one Wizard, and Marlon and Gil’s gifts were more grounded in the physical— but we had no choice. We had to think of something, and we spent days and nights brainstorming, but it soon became clear there was only one way forward.

“We would have to destroy the Portal at the bottom of the mines. It would be difficult. It would be dangerous. But it was our only choice. Anything else would be but a temporary solution.

“And so I joined the Adventurer’s Guild. Joined them on their expeditions into the earth, expeditions I had once ridiculed. Our only mission now was to destroy the Portal and save Stardew.

“I found I was able to descend, despite my lack of blood. The weakened enchantments that were allowing spirits through to the surface were of course responsible for my own success here, though of course, at the time, I attributed it all to my prodigious skill and power.”

Rasmodius cleared his throat, and for the first time he raised his head to gaze across the water. But he didn’t look at Achilles—instead, his eyes were glazed and unfocused, frozen as they squinted at some invisible speck in the air.

“For it was remarkable, how much… better everything was, after I joined. We descended faster than ever before. I crafted the elevator system. I found them iridium ore for their blades. I slew monsters and spirits with but a flick of my wrist. Our progress was unprecedented, because of me. Yes, I would be the reason for our success…

“But with every floor, their cries grew louder. I could still hear them. Pounding at the edges of the mind that I had now learned to close. It was difficult, cutting them off—communicating with spirits had always been but second nature to me. I had spent hundreds, if not thousands, of hours in the Astral Plane over the years. As I said, from a young age, I could speak with them… and they with me…

“But I had learned from my previous mistakes. I was on my guard now. I kept my mind closed, and my wits sharp. I knew their tricks. I would outsmart them and destroy them, and once the war ended, I would return to my guild in Gotoro triumphant.

“I just needed to finish this one task…

“How many floors? How many more floors remained? That is what we asked ourselves each and every hour—60, 70, 80, 90—we had to be hundreds of feet deep, and we were running out of time. Winter was just around the corner, and all the hard work, all the progress we had made would be lost.

“Marlon insisted we ought to wait. Typical of him—he was always too cautious, never fully understood the stakes. Everything was just an adventure to him. He said we ought to sit this Spirit’s Eve out and wait for the Winter to roll over with a fresh slate. We would be better prepared this time, he said. What was the harm in waiting another year?”

A dry, hollow laugh.

“Much could happen in a year, is what I said to him in return. The community center could fall. We could not afford to wait, we had to do this now. Strike now!

“Of course, Gil sided with Marlon. And Mona… I was outnumbered. We argued…

“I told them I would do it myself. After all, hadn’t I been doing most of the work up till then anyhow? I didn’t need them. We had only descended so far down the mines because of me—what had they been but dead weight?

“I had nearly one foot out the door when Mona fell to her knees, begging me to reconsider. She had two rules. Never go alone. Never leave alone. And looking at her… I knew she was right. I acquiesced. I promised. We would wait and start anew in the Spring.”

The gleam had returned to Rasmodius’ eyes.

“But the night before Spirit’s Eve, I woke with a fire in me—we were so very close to the bottom, I could feel it. It was now or never.

“I knew the others would never agree, and so when everyone was asleep, I stole away to the mines alone.”

Achilles could see it. A younger Rasmodius slipping out from the Adventurer’s Guild cabin into the dead of night, black cloaks swishing at his heels, hood hiding his violet hair as he skirted through the trees further up into the mountains.

“I took the elevator to the 98th floor. I cleared it myself. I went to the 99th floor. I cleared that myself. It was proof, all of it proof, that I did not need them, that I would secure this victory alone.

“A swarm was waiting for me on the 100th floor. The largest I’d ever seen. But I could handle it— I had to. It was I alone of all the Wizards who studied the spirits of the Ferngill Republic, no one knew than better than I—there had to be a reason. Yes, I had been brought to Stardew Valley for a reason. This was my destiny…“”

A drop of sweat cascaded down Achilles’ neck from his brow.

“That’s what I told myself. Even as the swarms grew larger and larger, and I struggled more and more to stay afloat, I told myself… this is your purpose. This is what you wanted…”

A shadow crossed the Wizard’s face. Rasmodius took a moment to collect himself.

“I would have died that night. The spirits… they became too much for even me. If it were not for Mona, Marlon, and Gil…

“They came. To save me. I couldn’t spare even a second to ask— how? when? why?—but together, together we fought the spirits, side by side, we cleared the floor, but— ”

Rasmodius seemed to stifle a cry. He turned away from the pool, one palm braced against the tiles lining the walls. In a low, flat voice, he continued.

“It was too much. It was Spirit’s Eve, the spirits were at maximum strength. When the dust finally settled, both Gil and Marlon…

“Mona begged me to return with her to the surface, to get them help, but I… I could not. It was them or the Valley. I told her this was our chance. That we were close—so very close. Why else would the spirits be fighting back so hard?

“I pressed her to continue. And to my surprise… she agreed. I have regretted that ever since.

“We left Marlon and Gil behind. We proceeded to the next floor and the next and the next, with little energy to fight, we could focus only on finding the trap doors…

“Then they came…”

The lights flickered—or was it Achilles’ vision? He ran a hand across his brow, felt a cold sweat continue to bead along his temples.

“I felt them clawing at my mind the moment we stepped foot on the 105th floor.

“They charged for us. But it was Mona he wanted, not me. It had always been Mona—I would never have made it to the bottom of the mines, I realized that now. The strongest seal of all had been placed upon its doors, and even in its weakened state, I would not have been able to overcome it. I did not possess the blood. And I did not possess the power…

“But Mona… she had the blood. It was she who had to be taken out, I had been but the bait.

“They wanted to speak with me. The Shadow King. And I… I thought myself ready to receive their message. I do not know, perhaps I believed we could broker a deal. Or perhaps… it was curiosity. Perhaps I was… flattered that the Shadow King themself wanted to speak with me. And so I lowered my mind’s defenses, allowed myself to be transported to the Astral Plane…

“But upon my mind’s arrival, I realized… it was but a distraction. A sham. The Shadow King had been in my mind already, hidden in the corner. It was only now that I recognized their voice.

“They must have targeted me the moment I had stepped into the Valley—because of my work and studies, I had spent much time with the arcane arts, opening my mind to spirits, and they had come to know my scent well on the Astral Plane. It must have been simple for them to track me down during my visits there, to break into my mind and see the thoughts, the desires within.

“But how, you may ask! How… I… I who had thought myself above the spirits, who had closed my mind, who had thought myself well-versed in their tricks, especially after my realization in the Spring… how? How could I have been so deceived, again?

“This is what you must understand, Achilles. This is what I had tried to protect you from. Shadow spirits thrive on chaos and darkness. When they find you, they will infiltrate your mind, will latch onto the worst parts of yourself, feed and grow your darkest thoughts.

“Now they cannot create on their own—no, they will never introduce new ideas into your head. But you see, that is all the more dangerous. For the words they secretly whisper will never seem foreign to you. The strongest spirits are capable of integrating themselves into your thoughts seamlessly. You would never know they were there, in your mind.

“They knew I was weary of them, but they also knew that I thought myself two steps ahead, and they chose to further magnify that belief, until I thought myself so, so far above them that I subconsciously lowered my defenses, thereby allowing more spirits in my mind. A vicious cycle, is it not…

“That night, taking advantage of their powers strengthened by Spirit’s Eve, they made their move. Over the past season, they must have been noting my resentment, my arrogance—amplifying it when needed, fostering it, nudging it until it reached a boiling point that very night, when finally, so sure in my belief I was, that I was the only one capable of saving the Valley, I left my bed. Left for the mines. They knew Mona would follow.

“When I realized I had been so easily tricked… well, I was paralyzed. Who was I? Were my thought truly my own thoughts? Was I even in control of my own mind?

“With my mind occupied, my mortal body was defenseless. I likely would have died—all of us would have died. If not for Mona…

“It happened so fast. By the time my mind had returned from the Astral Plane, it was all over. The spirits were gone. The monsters gone. The Shadow King’s voice no longer whispering in my ear. And Mona…

“She had used all of her strength, all her power, to temporarily send the shadow brutes back to their Plane and seal the trap door shut anew.

“But I told you… blood magic demands a high price. And for a single individual, a common individual, no matter how extraordinary, the extent of the enchantment… the cost was her life. With her last breaths, she made me promise to save Marlon and Gil. Made me promise I wouldn’t leave them behind.

“I obliged. After all…” A raw exhale from Rasmodius’ nose. “What else was there for me to do? With the enchantment renewed, I could no longer pass through the trap door.

“I took the elevator to the 100th floor. Retrieved Marlon and Gil, their broken bodies. Returned to the surface. We had failed. We had failed because of me. Because I had failed. Failed myself, failed my friends.

“Consumed with regret. With self-hatred. You see, our mission was doomed from the start, Achilles. We had no idea how to destroy a Portal. In my arrogance, I had believed I had enough power to destroy it myself. But I knew now, I could never have even descended to the bottom. Our mission… Mona’s death… utterly pointless. A waste. Such a meaningless waste…

“And in the days and weeks and seasons that followed, I couldn’t stop asking myself… Is this what you wanted, Rasmodius?”

*****

Achilles had not moved from his place in the spa during the length of the story.

Though his anger had faded after his earlier realization, it had surged once again upon hearing the Wizard’s tale. But this was a different sort of anger. One that chilled the heat of the spa, cool and and disquieting.

He waited for Rasmodius to continue—he had been promised an explanation, not a history lesson—but it seemed the Wizard had run out of steam, and so he coldly tossed from across the waters,

“Am I supposed to be feeling sorry for you?”

Rasmodius glanced up, as if only now realizing Achilles were still there.

“No. I do not expect you to.”

“Good. Because I don’t. You had all this knowledge, and you didn’t bother sharing it with Abigail and I when you had the chance—”

“Achilles—”

“—That’s why everything was so easy for Abigail at first, wasn’t it? The first 100 or so floors. She was just taking care of your leftovers, wasn’t she? Because any new spirits coming through the Portal were blocked by the new trapdoor on the 105th floor.”

“Yes… that is correct.”

“But you never thought to warn her what might be coming after that? Warn both of us how fucked up it was going to get after that? Didn’t think we might, I don’t know, find that useful? Just sent her down. No problem.”

“Let me remind you, Abigail had been working with Marlon—I had no idea she had been in the mines until the end of Summer—”

“Oh, so you’re blaming Marlon and Gil for keeping her in the dark?”

“No. There is no blame there.” Rasmodius faltered. “Marlon and Gil… they do not know the full events of that night. They do not know what occurred after the events of the 100th floor.”

“You never told them.” Achilles scoffed. “Yoba, why am I not surprised—”

“I was too ashamed. To tell them would be to confirm what I believe they have long suspected. That I was indeed the cause of Mona’s death.”

“And you really felt that your shame was enough to justify sending another girl unknowingly to her near-death?”

“I knew what remained in the mines.” Here, Rasmodius snapped and jumped to his feet, pointing an accusatory finger at Achilles who had seemingly touched a nerve. Nevertheless, he stubbornly remained unfazed and continued to stare the Wizard down. “I knew the danger was insignificant, that Abigail would be fine—she was never supposed to get past the 105th floor.”

“Well, you know, turns out, she did—“

“—the seal Mona placed upon it could never have been broken by someone unable to access the Astral Plane. In short, Abigail would never have been able to pass through without you—

“Oh so we’re blaming me now—”

“And you were never supposed to be down there either. At least… I had hoped you would never have to go down there…”

Sensing another story, Achilles merely raised and eyebrow before burrowing deeper into the warmth of the water. Might as well make himself comfortable. The Wizard, on the other hand, began to once again pace, one hand kneading the layers of his robes, the other his forehead.

“After the events of that night, I swore no one would ever go down those mines again. I worked to find an alternative solution… a way to rebuild and restrengthen the remaining keystones. I thought, perhaps, if I could find a way—then perhaps, with the seal Mona had placed on the 105th floor, that would be enough. That these two solutions combined could keep the shadow spirits at bay just until I could return to Gotoro and seek the wisdom of my guild members.

“I sought to use the third keystone in the Valley. As valiant a fight the junimos have been fighting, the second keystone was too far gone to be saved so long as the mines continued to be in the shadow spirits’ possession.”

So you left the junimos for dead. Just wrote them off. Sounds about right.

“Right. And where is this third keystone?”

“Here.” Rasmodius traced his fingers along the walls. “The hot spring below this spa was the third keystone for the Elemental Wall. Untainted by the stench of shadow spirits, I thought perhaps I could find a way to draw its energy and rebuild.”

Rasmodius turned to face him. “And I had hoped perhaps that one day you could help me with this task. That you could be my apprentice.”

The words came as a surprise. Achilles, who had settled back into his pejorative placidity, found himself breaking his poker face, exchanging it for a deeply furrowed brow of confusion.

“What?”

“The golden scroll in the community center… I told you, it was a test. I needed someone who was capable of communicating with spirits, who was able to access the Astral Plane. For many years I waited. Marlon and Gil’s gifts were, like Abigail’s, grounded in the physical. Yes, yes, it is possible to teach the art, but the difficulty increases tenfold where there is no natural aptitude. I believed it better to wait. Surely someone would come…

“The two of them were unsupportive anyway. They believed I was wasting my time. They still were following Mona’s orders… they still believed destroying the Portal was the only solution… Even I was beginning to lose hope…

“And then you came.

“I could see you were eager to learn. But a task of this importance is delicate, Achilles, and I needed to make sure you were right for the job, especially given your lack of experience with the arcane. I needed time to not only gauge your abilities, but your temperament. Your curiosity. How you approached problems with little guidance and information, how you handled pressure.”

“What is this, a job interview?”

Although in saying that, he supposed that, in a way, it had been.

“I suppose I failed then,” Achilles grunted. “Bitter little bastard that I am…”

“You scared me, Achilles. In studying you, I determined you were… toomuch like me. Eager for greatness, desperate for recognition. The shadow spirits had infiltrated my mind so easily, had taken advantage of those traits of mine, and that had ultimately led to the death of my dearest friend. And had I possessed decades of experience and training that you had not.

“Regardless, I did not want to train you—bring you into the Astral Plane—any sooner than I needed, for the more time you spent there, the more familiar the shadow spirits would be with your scent, and the more vulnerable you would be to their influence. I feared that you would fall prey to the same things that I had.

“Even so… I thought perhaps there was still a chance. I decided I would wait, just a bit longer, to judge your capabilities and your potential, even as Marlon informed me we were running out of time.

“But I refused to see it. What did Marlon know of such things? I was willfully blind to the signs. The community center had lasted far longer than either of us had anticipated. Surely it could stand a few more years.

“Even so, a part of me knew the end was near… I was studying the hot springs day and night, but I needed help and I knew I had no other choice. I would have to train you.

“But then you fell ill, and Dr. Harvey recounted to me your strange visions and hallucinations. It was worrying—how had they found you? And so I put on the brakes. I thought you too vulnerable for training then, your scent was too fresh in the Astral Plane. I would wait again, just a little longer…

“And then you came to me at the end of Summer, telling of a shadow brute on Sunspray Peak who spoke to you of your destiny. And it was exactly what I had feared. They had found you—you, who had spent so little time in the Astral Plane, how had they found you so easily? Already, it was evident, they were taking advantage of your desires.

“And so yes, I enchanted you. I made you forget. I knew that if those thoughts—the thoughts that shadow brute first introduced to your mind—were encouraged, if you continued to think them, it would feed the spirits. It would be an utter frenzy in your mind, you would think of nothing else, just as I did, and it would ultimately lead you to your doom.

“Yes. I made a decision. I would solve this myself, or I would go down the mines myself, no matter the cost. This would be my penance, for what I allowed to happen 40 years ago.

“I did not want anymore people to die, Achilles. That is all I wanted. For you and Abigail to be safe.”

“Funny way of showing it—”

“But then Marlon came to me after Abigail’s accident… he took me to the community center, forced me to open my eyes. I realized then, there was no choice. We would not be able to withstand another year. It had to be done. You would have to descend.

“But I still tried to protect you, Achilles. Sought to shield you the best that I could. You say I taught you nothing, told you nothing—yes. It was for your own good. You lacked the years of training to properly close your mind, there was not enough time—”

“You could have told me they were going to fucking control my mind or inception my mind or whatever shit, you don’t think that could’ve helped me, maybe? Help me be on the lookout—”

“Achilles, did I not tell you that I had fallen victim? I knew already the spirits would try to infiltrate my mind. Twist my thoughts. I knew! I knew everything there was to know, and yet I fell victim to them all the same.

“If you had for even a second considered that you could outsmart the spirits, they would’ve sensed it. They need but the smallest seed of a thought—it doesn’t even have to be serious, it could have been a simple, speculative passing thought and they would latched onto it, grown it, transformed it so that it was all you could think about.

“I knew you, I saw within you myself. You could’ve believed yourself above their control, and the spirits would have sensed this, would have pushed you to take unnecessary risks you were unprepared for. No, the risk was too much.”

“Wow, so does everyone in this Valley think I’m that narcissistic a prat—”

“Think about it, Achilles. If I had told you everything, would you not have thought yourself above it all? For even just a second, would you have believed yourself incapable of repeating the mistakes that I, of whose opinion you had was so low, had?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.”

Achilles bit his lip and averted his gaze. Yes. Yes he would have. He would have thought himself better—smarter. He would’ve sworn he’d never make the same mistakes.

Nevertheless, he plowed ahead, though more so out of sheer desperation to find some sort of fault in Rasmodius.

Typical. Always need someone else to blame—

“It didn’t work, though, did it? You told me to close my mind, but we only won because I opened it, because I went to the Spirit Plane—”

“There is no right or wrong, Achilles! There is no single answer that guarantees success—there are a million different ways we could have defeated the shadow spirits, if we only had the time and resources and the knowledge to find them all.

“You opened your mind and found your solution. Good. If you hadn’t, if you had kept your mind closed, perhaps you would’ve found an alternative solution that also would have worked. I told you what I believed would be the easiest and safest route to take. You adapted, you found something else. I’m glad you did.”

The subsequent silence rang through the tile walls.

“How did he find me?” The question came out soft, like a child. “When I was sick. How did he get into my head?”

“The Shadow King had grown in strength… I was not aware he had become so powerful, that his influence could have reached so far beyond the mines, and to have traced the scent of someone who had consciously stepped foot only once in the Astral Plane…”

“But what I don’t understand is… he made you angry. Back then— he made you impatient, you said he capitalized on your arrogance, that he brings out the worst in us. But he was making me happy. I was feeling good that Fall. And even in the mines, he told… he said hadn’t wanted to kill me.”

Rasmodius’ gaze softened, and with a sigh, he folded his hands into his robes and faced Achilles. “The shadow spirits are not evil, Achilles. ‘Spirits of evil…’ It is a misnomer, given to them after their exile from our plane. They are not harmless, no, far from it—but they naturally err towards chaos and darkness, and that intrinsically puts them at odds with our world.

“But no. They would not necessarily kill you for the sake of killing you. They only needed you out of the way. As I said earlier, Abigail never would have been able to get to the bottom with you.”

But still… “They made me better. At first.”

“No, they showed you that you could be better.

“Don’t you understand, Achilles? The spirits cannot create new thoughts, they can only work with what they already have. You had the capacity to be content all on your own, they only chose to exacerbate that.”

Achilles thought back to the Fall—how motivated he had felt to start his career anew. To return to his old life with renewed energy.

“So advertising… moving back to Hyacinthia… it could make me happy?”

“One single thing isn’t what would have made you happy, Achilles. Yes, you could have moved back to Hyacinthia, back to your old job, and have been happy. You could have also returned and had been miserable.

“The spirits listen to your thoughts, to everything you had ever considered. That includes your hopes, Achilles. You were desperate, were you not? To find something. I suppose you likely considered multiple options, multiple routes that could have potentially brought you the purpose and happiness that you had desired. They just happen to choose one and bring it to the forefront.

“But I must also wonder… what makes you believe it was the possibility of returning to your old life that was making you happy, Achilles? You have been so caught up with your career, did you ever think that perhaps it was something else that was making you content, in spite of these considerations?”

Achilles paused. “I- I don’t know. It’s all… it’s all confusing. The wanting and the not wanting, I don’t… I don’t know anymore. I don’t know if I ever did.”

What do you want? What should you want? What did you ever want?

God, it was all he could think about, wasn’t it? The questions, but never the answers.

Someone answered it for you, though.

“On Spirit’s Eve, in the maze…” His voice was tentative, but Rasmodius was quick to interrupt his hesitance in a tone much sharper than previously used.

“I never should have allowed you into the maze. I had no idea you were there— a careless oversight on my part… You were too raw. Too fresh. Your scent still strong in the air from when you visited the Astral Plane two nights previous, you were but a sitting duck for the Shadow King.”

“The Shadow King. They, ah… they said some things to me…”

Worthless. Pathetic.

Achilles swallowed. “I suppose, from what you said… they were just repeating back to me all… all my own thoughts.”

“That is correct.”

“So this really was all my own fault, then, wasn’t it? Strengthening the Shadow King. These thoughts I had… who I am… how I feel… it’s what I deserved.”

Rasmodius gave him a pitying look that sent him sweeping with nausea.

“Everyone has thoughts, Achilles. You must remember that to merely have them does not make them true.”

*****

After a minute or two, Achilles slowly clambered out of the water and reached for a towel. Rasmodius had returned to the bench and was observing the rising steam until Achilles asked, “The alternate plan you mentioned with the spa? Would it have worked?”

“Given time… perhaps. But we will never know. It does not matter. What’s done is done.”

“What’s done is done…” He swung the towel over his shoulders and stared across the pool to the other side, where Rasmodius continued to sit. “Is it all done then? The Portal’s destroyed—is the danger gone?”

“Hmm. Not quite, though the worst is over.

“The Portal may have been destroyed, but the keystone at the mines will need to be rebuilt, as will the weakened community center. The junimos will likely take care of that one on their own. But after the Elemental Wall is fixed, yes, then we can celebrate.

“That is why I came here today. To ask, finally, if you would like to be my apprentice. You have proven yourself more than worthy. There will be no more secrets, no more lies. Together, we can fix the Walls, and secure a victory for our kind and our names in the books.”

Our names in the books.

But he found the thought, strangely, did nothing for him. Achilles only gathered his clothes, eyes weary. “Why me?”

“Is this not what you wanted? I am offering it to you now. It would be a great honor.”

Achilles sighed, and the words that left his mouth half-surprised even himself.

“You should ask Abigail.”

The Wizard took a step back. “Abigail?”

“Why, what’s wrong with Abigail?”

“Nothing. She… she reminds me of Mona.”

“All the more reason to ask her.”

“Why are you not interested?”

Why are you not interested?

“I… I don’t deserve it. Down in the mines. I just… opened some trap doors and dropped a rock into a box. That was it. It wasn’t particularly heroic. There was no… blaze of glory, it was anticlimactic and it only happened because Abigail was knocked out after saving our asses. I don’t think I deserve the honor.”

“None of us our heroes, Achilles. You’re a writer, you should know this. In real life, things are never quite as… cinematic. Victories and failures alike are more than often unearned and undeserved. Life is oft but a series of coincidences and conveniences.”

Achilles sighed. The Achilles of four seasons ago would’ve given anything for this. But now…

“This isn’t for me. Besides, I think Abigail probably would want it more…”

“And so what is it that you want?”

Achilles laughed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he wiped the remaining water from his eyes. “I don’t know. I’ve been trying to answer that all year. To just be… satisfied? Content? I want to stop chasing. I just want to start a new life where I can be content with what I already have and who I already am instead of always focusing on what I should be.”

Rasmodius nodded. There was still a sorrow in his eyes. A deep-set guilt and longing of years past that the day’s walk down memory lane must’ve brought back to the surface. Had he ever learned to make peace with his past?

With a tip of his hat and wave of his arms, the spa’s steam began to turn lavender. It swirled around the Wizard’s feet as he began to transport himself no doubt back to his tower.

“You will be content, Achilles. It won’t be today. It won’t be tomorrow. And it will hard. But remember that you have been before—on your own, before the Shadow King ever took refuge in your mind—and you can be so again.”

*****

Achilles returned home at half past four, the sun already halfway to setting. He was in an odd mood, though could anyone blame him?

Voltaire greeted him with a very dog-like wag of his fluffy tail before settling on his lap as he took a seat on the couch.

“Do you ever get bored in here?” Achilles asked, absentmindedly patting the cat on the head. The living room, though still clean from yesterday’s thorough sweep, was now littered with a scattering of Voltaire’s toys. “I’m scared a hawk will eat you if you go outside.”

“Meow!”

“You never got a ceremony for yourself, after all you did down in the mines.” Achilles frowned, toying with the corner of one of the mismatched throw pillows. Perhaps he should hire an interior designer… though what was the point, if he was only going to move back…

“That’s my fault. I should have brought you to town. You can have my medal, though, if you’d like. I don’t particularly want it. Maybe we can turn the ribbon into a new collar, how does that sound? I’m afraid Lewis has touched it, though…”

“Meow.”

Achilles sighed.

He put his feet up on the coffee table, hands behind his head as he stared without seeing at the black mirror of his television.

The clock above the fireplace chirped five times before he finally shook himself from his reverie.

He shifted his feet, and the pages Alex had stacked just yesterday scattered to the floor once again. With another sigh, he bent down to retrieve them, this time opting to place them back on the table rather than hurling them into the fire. Except for one.

One page he held onto as he curled up into the couch, a pen in hand. He flipped the paper over, now faced with the blank side.

He had been getting better. Rasmodius was right. Before the pneumonia, before the Shadow King. He’d been feeling better all on his own. Or, perhaps, not exactly on his own…

He dug a pen out from the coffee table and began to write.

What Do You Want?

On second thought.

Achilles crossed the question out.

What Makes You Feel Good?

That felt a little cringy… too cheesy, maybe too on the nose…

What Makes You Feel Good? Better?

#llnks #stardew valley fanfic #sdv fanfiction #stardew valley fanfiction #sdv fanfic #sdv fic

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