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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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September 29: 3x09 The Tholian Web

Today’s episode, The Tholian Web, was completely new to me and I came in with no expectations at all. I wasn’t sure about it at first but ultimately I really liked it!

In uncharted territory looking for lost ship the Defiant. Space appears to be breaking up. Idk but for some reason this sounds very familiar.

Like truly I don’t know what this is reminding me of but hasn’t space broken up before?

And now there’s a mysterious object! Nothing is going Kirk’s way today at all.

“Fascinating.” / “Explain.” Truly the root of this relationship.

It’s the Defiant! Looking ghostly.

Uhura’s on the case already. You don’t need to tell her how to do her job.

Scotty and Sulu looking badass together.

Conveniently, it’s another constitution class, allowing all the sets to be reused. (Though also I do think it makes sense only a large ship like that would be in uncharted space.)

Look at them in those suits. They look like they’re going to the grocery store in May 2020.

How do they know this isn’t an illusion? Because “we can see it, but the sensors don’t pick up anything” screams “illusion” to me. I wouldn’t want to beam into open space!

The triumvirate + Chekov, fourth wheeling again. (My mom suggested he’d be incapacitated soon, which is fair--he IS the red shirt in this scenario.)

All of this is feeling very familiar--missing ship, unusual space phenomenon, people going mad--but I'm not sure if it's repetitive or classic.

NO mutiny ever? That seem unlikely. Also didn’t Spock literally commit mutiny? Chekov would appreciate knowing this.

Kirk manages to look intense even through the space suit.

I find it really weird he doesn’t know the captain of this ship. Like, first off, he knows everyone, and second, there only about 12-14 constitution class vessel Captains so I really do think they know each other.

“Spock, stay with me.” Don’t have to tell him twice.

Lol the ship looks so silly just...drifting away. Adorable, but silly.

Seeing an Asian man in sick bay reminds me how few Asian people there are in Starfleet. Like... 1.

“What the devil?” That’s a Southern man there.

Is the ship actually dissolving or is it an ILLUSION? (It’s actually dissolving.)

Uh, the transporter’s not working? That’s not good.

I love how Scotty hears that and immediately abandons the bridge, like there is NO other man for the job.

O’Neil’s face when Kirk asks to be beamed aboard is hilarious. Human embodiment of the :O emoticon.

“You too, Spock.” He delays ordering Spock back to the ship because he KNOWS Spock’s going to argue.

“Completing the data set” yeah okay. He just doesn’t want to leave Jim alone. Especially in the extremely suspicious circumstances of there being 4 people and 3 transporter spots.

He’s vanished!

Spock is NOT having this.

The fabric of space is very weak here. Sounds legit. And there are many alternate dimensions that are very close at hand. So in other words... Kirk is literally stuck in an AU right now.

This is sorta like The Alternative Factor but way better.

You know it’s serious when they break out the fish eye lens.

When Bones rushed in, I was expecting him to sedate Chekov but Spock has it covered.

I feel like Spock is extremely concerned for Chekov here. Like it’s subtle, but just the attention he’s paying to him. And Sulu is obviously very concerned too.

His “environmental unit” only has so much oxygen. What a great name for a fancy spacesuit.

Spock will not believe Jim is dead!! Never. (This is the plot of the whole episode in 8 words essentially.)

That’s an alien!

“According to the Federation, this area is free space.” ...Okay, that sounds a little colonialist. In his defense, he doesn’t press the point. He basically says, kay, we’ll go as soon as we’re finished rescuing.

And I appreciate the Tholian’s respect for that even though surely he must feel gaslit by Spock--rescuing WHO there are NO other ships??

Also I like the look of the alien.

Nifty lab equipment there.

MCCOY FIGHT SCENE.

Wow that orderly was easily disabled lol. I guess Chapel hypoed him but it really looked like she just tapped his shoulder and he fell.

Hmm, there are still 30 minutes left so something tells me this Kirk rescue mission won’t work.

Captain Kirk is not in his designated area. I repeat Captain Kirk has wandered away from his designated area.

The space was disturbed by the Tholians. I guess they weren’t factored into the delicate calculations.

Something about this exchange really screams Southerner meets Alien. Like more than most McCoy and Spock exchanges.

You can tell Spock is thinking about this whole "nothing’s being transmitted, it’s just the nature of space; everyone's already sick" thing but also not caring because CAPTAIN KIRK.

Now they’re being fired upon! A lot is happening here.

“Renowned Tholian punctuality” lol. Always a sense of humor on this one.

Spock’s face when Sulu questioned his order was 100% “Did I stutter?”

“I know you don’t like to use the phasers.” Because he’s a pacifist.

Well he changed his mind on those phasers fast enough.

“You’ve lost Jim.” UM no I think NOT.

Everything happens so much.

“That is the mark of a starship Captain like Jim.” I mean Spock is no Jim but there’s no need to be rude about it

“Doctor, go to your room and do your homework.”

Aw, the ships are kissing.

Now they look like little weaving shuttles. Adorable.

Hmm, it IS a web. Appropriately named episode.

“We shall not see home again.” Lol Spock way to be the Most Dramatique as always.

Tholian web screensaver Windows 98.

No, not a funeral!!

“This service requires my attention, Mr. Spock.” Crying emoji.

(I’m with Spock in almost everything in this ep but come on, you can’t ban McCoy from Kirk’s funeral, that’s just rude.)

This seems more like an assembly than a funeral tbh.

[agonizing scream] is also how I feel about Kirk “dying” and that’s why Generations isn’t real.

AOS Kirk would 100% approve of a brawl at his funeral.

Sulu and Uhura <3

“Each of you must evaluate the loss in the privacy of your own thoughts.” Spock definitely will.

Wait, that was it? The whole eulogy? Both Kirk and Spock really suck at eulogizing the other.

McCoy probably could have skipped this honestly.

Wait, Kirk left his space husband and his BFF a final in-case-of-death message? Noooooooooooooooo I can’t.

McCoy is so insistent they watch it and Spock is like “nah, that makes it too real, not gonna do it.”

“The Captain’s last order is the top priority.”

Why does everyone always assume Spock wants power? He obviously doesn’t. He could be a Captain if he wanted, probably. He’s early enough in his career where he still has time to become a Captain, too--eventually he does! Most of his career and literally every statement he’s ever made would kinda imply he’s not interested.

Also, if he didn’t care about Jim and he just wanted to take over the Enterprise, he would have left 3 hours ago? Like multiple people were saying he should? Including Bones??

“He was a hero in every sense of the word.” True.

McCoy is being VERY mean today.

And now he’s mad at him again for fighting the Tholians instead of leaving without Jim! Like which is it! What did he do wrong? At least pick a specific thing to criticize lol.

"I need not explain my rationale to you or to any other member of this crew." That’s true but also all I can hear is “I love him. I’m in love with him. I must have him back.”

What is that art work on the wall? That’s new.

I don’t get how Bones isn’t getting this. He KNOWS about the “warm, genuine feeling.”

Vulcans clearly aren’t immune to the...space weirdness. But yes, another pot shot at his alienness is always welcome lol.

“I AM in command of the Enterprise.” You tell him.

Finally, the secret message!

Omg Jim is literally dead and he’s still reassuring Spock. What a good boyfriend. I know this is the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but you got this bb.

Now he’s lecturing them both from beyond the grave and getting everything right and they’re just standing there like chastised schoolboys.

That “take care” was so soft.

“It does hurt, doesn’t it?”

“What would you have me say Doctor?”

Like??? I can’t stand this.

Uhura! At home.

I like that twirly thing they have in their quarters; very efficient use of space and also I want one.

I also love that her chair has crocodile arms.

Kirk shows up in the mirror just to be dramatic and disappear again.

“Of course you saw him. We’d all like to see him.” Lol. Yes, yes, he’s still with us... in our hearts.

If the Tholians complete the web, what will they do with what’s inside? Eat it?"

“Are we any closer to the cure for space weirdness?” / “No. Except also yes.”

Love all the vague science that goes into solving their problem at the last minute but also extremely quickly by any objective standard.

Is Chekov restrained with seat belts?

Whereas Uhura’s just chilling. She knows what she’s about.

Ghost Kirk! Ghost Kirk!

"Do you suppose they're seeing Jim because they've lost confidence i you?" Damn bones, harsh. I thought we were done with this.

Pretty distressing that everything relies SO much on Scotty lol--arguably the MOST critical single member of the crew.

“I’m sorry.” Glad to hear him say it, finally!

“He would just say ‘Forget it Bones.’“ Adorable.

I feel like everyone’s simultaneously thinking, ‘Okay, we ALL see that, right?”

I am overwhelmed by the longing in that shot of Spock trying to reach Kirk through the dimensions. Like, we’ve established everyone loves him, everyone misses him, everyone wants to see him, but Spock actually approaches him and tries to meet him...

“We were separated. He couldn’t touch me.”

I want to know Scotty’s opinion on Spock’s crazy statue.

So Spock shouldn’t have fired those phasers? Because they... did something... bad to the dimensions? But what other choice did he have, other than to leave without Kirk?

Wasn’t Scotty literally just saying this wasn’t fixable? And now he’s like ‘eh, I can fix it in 20 minutes and get you 80% power’?

The antidote is derived from a nerve gas used by the Klingons...that’s honestly rather hilarious. They’re good for something I guess.

“It simply deadens certain nerve inputs in the brain.” / “Any decent brand of Scotch’ll do that.” Starfleet’s finest lmao.

Lmao Mccoy's no longer drugging the crew he's straight up killing parts of their brains with booze and deadly nerve gas. The man must be stopped.

Noooo don’t give Scotty the whole bottle. We’ve already established the ship doesn’t run without him.

They still gotta get out of the web.

If I shipped McCoy/Spock I would DEFINITELY ship it in that little moment where they look at each other over the glasses.

I have no idea what happened but they seem to be free. Bye Tholians!

Kirk back in the chair where he belongs <3

“No problems worth reporting”--I mean that is technically true, I GUESS.

Kirk is trying to get the gossip.

“Only what one would expect when humans are involved.” / “What humans?” The oxygen hasn’t fully returned to his brain, I see.

Also he is completely lying about understanding McCoy’s explanation.

Sulu and Chekov are having a great time listening in. Collecting future gossip for the cafeteria.

“M-my last orders. That I left for both of you.” He’s adorable.

"The crisis was upon us and then passed so quickly that w-we...." Lol yes the crisis came and then 4 hours later, it was passed! Just like that.

I totally get that Kirk wants them to admit they watched the tape. It was his orders that they watch it first, plus he knows he said helpful stuff and he wanted to be helpful! But I also get why they don’t want to admit they saw it, because it is rather awkward to admit they watched his last words when he’s... not dead.

That was a great ep overall! I really enjoyed it.

My only two complaints are that there wasn’t enough Kirk, and I wasn’t fond of Bones’s characterization. I mean, I get that he was affected by the... space weirdness and maybe his usual prejudices were purposefully exaggerated to show that but it still felt like he was constantly piling up on Spock and in the most unhelpful way. Like, they often disagree, in part because they have different general philosophies, and Bones often misunderstands Spock. But Bones wasn’t really offering anything helpful in terms of command advice, and his criticisms were both repetitive and incoherent. Did he want Spock to leave Jim behind or not? Was firing the phasers bad or necessary? Is Spock doing too much to save Jim or is he just out to get rid of him and take command? And again, he had like 6 moments where he said something cutting and cruel and...one or two of those go a lot farther to show the point. I also just... Bones really, really doesn’t get Spock, and I can see how he’d get meaner given the space aggression. But he’s not cruel. And he and Spock are friends, and he does know that Spock loves Kirk more than anything. So I did not find him IC overall.

But I did really like Spock and his characterization. I could feel all the emotion in him, so pent up and controlled but so present--especially in the moment when he held the tape Kirk made, but in so many other places as well--the “funeral,” the first moment after Kirk failed to materialize, reaching for him on the Bridge...

I also liked this portrayal of Spock in command. He is a good commander and he has obviously grown a lot since the Galileo Seven. But he’s not Jim, and the show is clear about that. Kirk is not replaceable and his job is not easy. I’m not even sure that Kirk would have done much different than Spock--he wouldn’t have left without one of his crew, and that probably would have involved firing on the Tholian ship. But when Spock did it, it really felt like he was overwhelmed, frustrated, and not thinking--he didn’t want to, but then Scotty said he should, and he did. Kirk would have made the decision, not been pressured into it. Would it have mattered? It comes out to the same, but I think it would have been a different scenario. Kirk only ever makes his own decisions--then he can own them, no matter what. That didn’t feel like Spock’s decision, and it affected others’ confidence in him (cough cough McCoy).

I would have to watch again to see if I thought there was any other choice.

This ep made me think of the cave scene in ST09 where Ambassador Spock meets Kirk and thinks he is HIS Kirk, come on purpose to find him. Because obviously Kirk is like that: he comes back from the dead, he finds Spock no matter what, he comforts and reassures and supports him no matter what. He would cross dimensions, he’d travel through time, he’d become No Longer Dead, if that’s what Spock needed.

I was a little disappointed that we didn’t see Kirk’s adventures in the AU lol. I think he was lying about being alone in the other universe. I want to see the fic where he was actually in the AOS verse lol.

Even though there wasn’t enough Kirk in this ep, I appreciated how strong his presence was anyway, seeing everyone love him so much, and seeing just how effective he is as a Captain by comparison with Spock, who is good and who did get them out of the situation, but who lacks that certain... Captain’s quality.

And it outright was a great Spock episode, and a good Spock and McCoy ep except for all of the OOC-ness in McCoy. I’m starting to feel like actually there’s a pretty significant amount of Spock and McCoy stories (this one, The Paradise Syndrome All Our Yesterdays, even Bread and Circuses) and I wish there were more Kirk and Bones stories, too. They are best friends after all!

Next is Plato’s Stepchildren, which is a pretty meh episode, but not awful.

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #2021: fandom thoughts #start trek tos

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nikkzwrites · 4 years

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The Lies We Told | Disco!Spock x Reader | Star Trek Fan Fiction

Content Warning: Sexual Assault (Resolved very quickly), Death.

Genre: Angst, Romance, Hurt, Fluff, Comfort

Words: 13524

It all started at the Academy. You were sitting in an orientation room looking at all the other people trying for the science program when you saw him walk in. Your heart stopped. He was miraculous. His energy was one you had never felt before. You watched him glide to the teacher.

Your friend leaned over to your table from behind and whispered a mimicking stuck up know it all voice, “Hello, yes. I heard we are getting our lab partners assigned to us today.” You two watched as the teacher nodded and motioned towards the empty seat next to you. Your friend laughed but then quickly growled as they saw the tall man turned back to the teacher. Without looking, you knew their face twisted in disgust. They leaned back up and whispered in an irritated voice, “Good luck with that one, love.” Their chair screaming as they settled back into their place.

Your eyes had not left the man until you saw him turn to walk towards space next to you. You blankly stared ahead and swallowed hoping he hadn’t noticed you staring earlier. You heard the seat screech and adjust under his weight. He cleared his throat. You turned to look at him. His features were as strong and distinct as his stride. You could feel him studying you as well. You let out a breath about to introduce yourself when he beat you to the punch.

“Just please call me Spock. You will not be able to pronounce my name. It would be the most optimal for both of us if you just referred to me as the aforementioned if you need to refer to me at all.”

You squinted at him, “What do you mean by ‘if I need to refer to you at all?’” You didn’t like his tone at all at this point. You understood he was raised in a cut-throat education system, but he needed to learn that was not how you treated people.

He looked at your evident rising anger and stated as if simple fact, “I had not planned for having a ‘lab partner.’ It seems like a glorified buddy system.”

You opened your mouth for a comeback when your friend intervened and asked, “Are you sure you are quite cut out for Star Fleet and not the Vulcan Science Academy, Mr. Spock?” They enunciated every part of Mr. Spock with dripping anger. They had completely leaned over to put themselves in between you and the Vulcan.

Spock looked past the interruption and spoke as if it simply did not happen, “Do you have a name to which I can refer to you as? Is it not rude to not properly introduce yourself after someone did you the pleasure of introducing themselves?”

Through gritted teeth, you gave the man your name. He was very confused by your rising tension. He just didn’t seem to be in touch with what was going on. This made you soften your guard a bit.

“Also, I would prefer to help in which I can. The Vulcan Science Academy would not serve to help others in quite the same way,” He addressed your friend who was still leaning their body over their desk to keep it between the two of you, “You should also sit back. You are going to hurt yourself if you continue.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the interaction. He really had no idea how to interact with people past how the Vulcans had taught. Surprisingly, it was endearing. He clearly just needed help adjusting.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to become close. Once you learned that his communication just was more direct and all logic-based, things went more smoothly. It even grew to the two of you spending most of your time together. It was uncommon for anyone to see one of you with the other close by.

At first, you stuck close to him because he seemed lonely. The first lunch you had you saw him sitting in the mess hall alone. He looked so alone. You couldn’t just let him be there all by himself. You walked straight to his table and sat down. When he saw you sit down next to him, he lifted his brow. You replied, “We will need to get used to being in close quarters if we are going to be working together as lab partners.”

Without another word, the two of you ate together. This went on for a good while. Despite the two of you having different classes and training, your schedules still linked up very well. Your planetary command classes were the exact same times as his space training classes. So you stuck close to him like glue until he had gotten some other friends.

Everything went well after that. Well, until the incident happened. You were helping your professor clean the lab. It was late. The sun was already down by the time you were walking out. That was when a shadow loomed over you. Your legs backed you into the wall to try and getaway.

That was when you heard the man’s voice. It was hate. He sounded like a monster. His voice sounded as if it were glass tumbling in the garbage disposal running on high. He growled and said, “What, you stood me up because I’m not good enough for you?”

Your breath shortened and quickened. Your brain raced through everything. You gasped as you remembered your friend had set you up with one of the boys in security command training. Your hands went up to your mouth. “I’m-,” you started.

The man slammed his hand against the wall, keeping you pinned there. “What,” he questioned. He reeked of alcohol. It made your eyes water. He yelled, “Is it because I’m not that Vulcan? Is that it?” He growled and whispered, “Just a Vulcan fucker? Is it the pointy ears? The lack of emotion?” He pushed you against the wall. Your head throbbed. Your throat burned. Everything in you begged for you to scream but you couldn’t. You were frozen. “Or is it because they are rough? I can give you that too,” He taunted. Your eyes squeezed shut for the hit. Then you heard the man say, “They’re fine.” There was no hit, but you felt a shuffle. “I said, they are fine,” the man yelled.

You instinctively braced for a hit again, scared from his tone. Again, it didn’t come. There was a large thud near your feet. Your eyes widened open. You were shaking and the man now rest at your feet. He looked...dead. You gasped.

“Are you alright,” A familiar soothing voice rolled over to you. You felt a smooth warm hand touch your face. You looked up to see Spock standing there. You finally heard your voice as you sobbed. His hands were normally cold. You felt him lead you away. His voice seemed so far away once more. “I called the officer. Let’s walk over here and wait,” his voice fought against your head drowning him out. He sat you down on the bench. His hand never left yours.

You closed your eyes. Everything was spinning. Your soul wanting to expel from your body through your mouth. You didn’t open your eyes again until you felt Spock squeeze your shoulder. You looked from your shaking hands up at the officer. You explained all that you could to him. You refused to have Spock leave your side. Even when they questioned him, you stood next to his side. The officer sighed and said that when you had a clearer head, to come in to give a more detailed statement. You nodded.

When you turned to see the officer’s vehicle, a force turned you and pulled you into Spock’s chest. He held you there for a second and stated, “Let’s get back.” He walked with you towards the dormitories. When you turned to go to your building, Spock grabbed your arm. He shook his head and said, “You shouldn’t go back alone. Come to my dorm.”

You shook your head. “But,” your quivering voice stuttered out, “I’m not alone. I’ll-.”

“Wasn’t your dorm mate the one who set up the date,” He asked. You knew from the way he said it, he meant it more as a statement of example for you to stay with him. You simply nodded. He went to further explain, “We have special techniques and abilities as Vulcans to deal with trauma, so it would be best if you stayed with me until we can get you to a professional.”

You tried to think back to what day it was. You furrowed your brow in deep thought. You had eaten twice Monday. Three times Tuesday. You took a shower Wednesday. Thursday, Spock introduced you to his mentor here. That was the day before. That would mean that it was Friday. Once you came to the conclusion, you made the comment that it was Friday to Spock.

He nodded and said, “I know. It is not ideal, but we must do what we must.”

This was the first time you actually looked at him since everything had happened. He was wearing a black set of tight workout gear. His hair stuck to his face with sweat. He was wearing running shoes. You touched his shirt and rubbed it between your fingers. Yeah, you thought to yourself, that was the feeling of that TransDry type fabric. You were so transfixed by his shirt and outfit, you didn’t get to see him smiling.

“Would you mind if I told my mother about the incident,” He asked snapping you out of your trance. He watched you for a second before continuing, “She and I call each other three times a week.”

You nodded and smiled at him. You tried to imagine what Spock’s mother must be like. This wasn’t the first time he’s mentioned her, but it was always just a passing comment. It was rather surprising to you that his mother would call him so frequently. You guessed that even for a Vulcan, she was still a mother. You followed his lead to his dorm. He let you enter first. That is when you saw a picture of a brown-haired human woman on the wall. You smiled and rushed to it. You motioned to it and turned to Spock, “She’s beautiful. Spock, who is she?”

Spock effortlessly strolled into the room. He nodded towards the picture, that struck you as odd, but it was Spock. He motioned and settled, “This is my mother Amanda Grayson.” He turned more towards the picture. When you looked back at it, you realized that this was not a picture, but instead a communication relay. Your face flushed as Spock introduced you. He turned back to you and said, “I will gather some spare clothes. You should take a shower. I will be right here if you need anything.”

“If this is a bad time,” Amanda giggled, “We can always speak tomorrow.” She waved to you with a motherly smile. His mother made you feel safer. Everything about him made you feel safe anyway, but her presence just calmed you in a way you couldn’t describe. You waved back as Spock gathered what he mentioned.

“Not at all Mother,” Spock spoke as he handed you a pair of sweatpants surprisingly your size and an oversized hoodie, “This is actually the perfect time. I would like your advice and my lab partner would most definitely benefit from your perspective.”

Once you had the clothes in your hands, you walked into his bathroom. You paused. He was so clean. Not a single thing seemed to be out of place. You gently placed the clothes on the counter before standing confused. Towels. You didn’t want to go disturb his call again, so you elected to dig. You opened one cabinet. It was mostly empty. You closed that one and opened another one. Finding the towels, you grabbed one and placed it on the counter as well before going into the shower.

Spock waited until he heard the water running, he turned back to his mother and explained what had happened. He stared. His insides eating him from the inside. He never felt such rage against another person before. He looked at his mother and said, “He was taunting them about me. The man didn’t like that we are so close.”

Amanda sighed. She wished she could be there to comfort her son. “Most people do not enjoy the idea of someone they are interested in being interested in someone else,” She explained. She continued, “Most humans don’t like other humans enjoying Vulcan company past business. I can understand.” She paused. “Spock,” Amanda pleaded, “You are allowed to let out how you feel.”

Spock nodded, “All of my feelings are understandable given the situation, but allowing myself to act upon them past where I have already will be illogical.” He grit his teeth together trying to keep himself calm. He heard his bathroom door open and he bowed his head, “I am going to speak with my partner. If they are comfortable, may you help them? I, too, need a shower.”

Amanda nodded.

You watched as Spock walked over to you. He had an energy that you couldn’t place from him. He leaned to you and asked you if you would be comfortable with him showering while you spoke with his mother. You slowly nodded but your hand reached for his.

Spock tried to give you a small smirk. He pat your head and whispered, “I will be right there. It’s okay.”

You nodded slowly and walked to speak with his mother. She must have sensed your nervousness because she waited until Spock was gone before speaking.

“I heard that you were tormented because of my son’s race,” She said simply.

You nodded and sobbed. You let out all your emotions there. Large tears ran down your face.

Amanda sighed and said, “You understand the easiest way for it to not happen again would be to sepera-.”

Before she could finish her sentence, you screamed, “I don’t want to. But I don’t want that.” You covered your mouth and sobbed again, “I’m sorry. I… I can’t.” You looked down at the floor and watched as the tears fell to the ground. You whispered, “I love him too much.” You looked at her shaking your head rubbing your eyes through small sniffles, “He’s my best friend and I love him too much to leave just because someone may hurt me. They would have to kill me if they hate that he is my closest friend for me to ever part from him.”

Amanda smiled gently and you could see where his softness came from. All of Spock’s compassion and love was directly spawned from her. Her own eyes teared up. Amanda wiped her eyes her voice low, “Thank you.” She laughed at herself and said, “But please never let my son hear you say any of that. It would burden him too much.”

You smiled and laughed through your tears, “I know. He would also scold me for being so illogical about the situation.” The two of you laughed. As you waited for Spock, she told you stories of when Spock was younger. Her voice soothed you. You sat on his bed cross-legged and just listened. The ways she described everything made you long for Vulcan. You yearned to go back to that time and be there for him then.

This caused you to jump when you heard Spock’s voice once more. “If you can excuse us Mother,” Spock started, “I have to make plans for tomorrow.” They gave each other, what you learned in class, the Vulcan salute and signed off.

You crawled over to him and knelt on the edge of the bed, “You have to teach me how to do that?” You tried by yourself and all your fingers drifted apart instead of just separating in the middle.

You could see him fighting off a smile as he walked over to you. He curled your hand down and said, “I will some other time. You need to get your rest.”

You huffed at him and waddled over towards the wall’s side of the bed to allow him room. Then you collapsed with another huff. You heard him shift behind you causing you to turn to face him once more, “Are you not going to join me? Logically it is the best way for the two-”

“Logically,” he interrupted, “It would be better if we took shifts, but seeing that you need your rest more than that, I can understand your point.” He slipped into the bed next to you. He laid straight on his back, staring at the ceiling.

You propped yourself up on your elbow and asked, “What are you thinking about?”

Spock sighed, “I’m running through all the scenarios in my head about the next approach forward for tomorrow.”

You nodded and laid down. You asked, “Is it okay if I rest my head on you?”

Spock froze. He seemed to be taken aback by the request. He nodded slowly and outstretched his arm so that you could cuddle into his chest. When you snuggled in, you rest your hand on his abdomen area and felt his heartbeat. He was cool like normal. He asked, “Comfortable?”

You nodded and asked, “Can you play with my hair?”

He let out a breath that you could tell was him giving a small laugh, “of course.” His long fingers softly traced your scalp and ran through your hair. You listened as he started to murmur, “One thing was certain, that the white kitten had had nothing to do with it:—it was the black kitten’s fault entirely. For the white kitten had been having its face washed by the old cat for the last quarter of an hour (and bearing it pretty well, considering); so you see that it couldn’t have had any hand in the mischief.” His slow rhythmic breathing accompanied by his absentminded mumbling lulled you into a deep sleep.

After that day, you transferred into the space training program. Spock helped you catch up with the rest of the group were in physical health. That meant every morning and night you two jogged at least two miles. After that, you two were inseparable. Eating, sleep schedules, classes, the two of you did it all together. You jogged beneath the autumn falling leaves. The crunching beneath both of your feet was music into your ears. You both read together while the snowflakes drifted to the ground. As you two would walk back, you would have a snowball fight together as a reward. During the spring, you sat outside identifying all the flora and fauna you could after a hike going into the wide-open fields where you two would hideaway. The summer was spent in the pool with gravity training. Of course, your friend group couldn’t allow Spock just to be in a pool without having some fun. First, you played volleyball. They also wanted to play Shoulder Wars. You laughed as they convinced your lab partner that it was to “improve interpersonal skills” and “to test abilities in high-stress situations.”

Spock was perturbed a bit when the group told him that he couldn’t be in a partnership with you because that would be cheating. He didn’t like having other people touching him in such an intimate way and having to touch someone in such a way either. He preferred to have been with you in a partnership. He was used to being touched and touching you. He felt a jealousy building when you partnered with someone.

The next time, he required to play on a team with you. The group actually had a fun time. You and Spock did not win every game. Your group played until no one could hold themselves anymore. That night, your group created a bonfire at an open field not too far away. Some of the men howled as the rest of the group laughed. Poor Spock shifted in his seat questioning everything. You smiled gently at him and sat next to him.

“This is highly illogical. What sort of a celebration is this,” He questioned.

You giggled, “It’s just how we as humans let out all the stress built up over the year.” You smiled at him, “If you want to leave we can, I just wanted you to be able to experience it once and to at least have real fire-roasted marshmallows.”

He nodded, “I understand. I appreciate your interest in showing me customs.” He looked amongst the group of friends. Some were now becoming intimate with each other. He looked back into your eyes. The crackling of the fire was very relaxing if he had to admit to himself. His lips curled at the edges for a second. “I would like to help you with my home’s salute if you will let me,” Spock commented.

You wiggled a bit excited, “Really?” You turned to him so that he may be more effective with his teaching.

Spock lifted his hand towards you and motioned for you to place your hand against his. You followed his lead. Your hand slowly closed the gap by pressing your index and middle fingertips against his. This caused a jolt between you two. Your breath caught in your throat for a moment as you stared. Spock’s face illuminated with a mint green before closing the gap of your hands himself. Once he did, you felt as if you were able to breathe again. Your head reeling from the experience. You could only describe it at the time as similar to what you would see in a romantic movie when the two characters finally shared a kiss. You opened your mouth to speak but Spock immediately drew attention back to the original issue.

“This is the motion that you would need. I am sure your muscles are simply not used to exercising this function,” Spock motioned to him slowly coaxing your fingers to follow his, “Here we are getting them accustomed to such a motion.”

You followed his movements. Your fingers still seemed to still give resistance. You looked up at Spock who looked back towards you as well. Your heart raced at his gentle touch. You pulled away and smiled, “Thank you for trying to help.”

He nodded, “It would not be the first time I tried to teach someone the Vulcan salute.” He looked back at the burning fire. It felt as if it were injected straight into his veins. He felt it rage and flare within him. He turned to you and it both calmed yet it also increased its intensity.

The rest of your three years together seemed to rush past. There were more small moments together that only the two of you shared, but it all seemed to build to nothing. Spock always seemed to deflect the situation which grew to you naturally following suit.

Spock sighed. He practiced to himself, “I know that we are going to be getting our assignments soon. I would like to request…” He took a deep breath, “your… permission for us to be assigned to the same orders. Ideally, I would like us to be partnered on the same starship. Would you agree to this?”

Amanda smiled at her son, “You are going to do well my darling Spock.” She clasped her hands together in excitement, “Please promise me you will bring her to Vulcan as soon as possible.”

Spock nodded towards his mother and commented, “As fast as humanly possible.” He straightened himself up, “I will take my leave.”

Amanda nodded, “Good luck.”

“This has nothing to do with luck,” He gently explained to his mother, “It is simply the question of desire to be attached to me forever. Are you sure T’Ping will agree?”

“That girl has already expressed her extreme happiness for the arrangement,” She said. She sighed and said, “Please let me know what happens.”

Spock nodded, “I will.” He bid his mother goodbye before walking out to find you.

You ran. The flowers were so beautiful, but you had no time to wait. You dodged some of the potential new recruits as you tried to fight your way to your lab partner. You smiled and twirled with him once you were able to grab ahold of him. His strong hands held you steady as you laughed. You threw your arms around him. “Spock,” you exclaimed out of breath from running to him.

His eyes furrowed with worry. “Are you alright,” he asked straightening your tousled hair.

You nodded hurriedly, “Yes!” You smiled, “Oh Spock, I could just kiss you right here I’m so happy.” You pressed his forehead against yours.

His brow raised and he commented, “Here wouldn’t be the most appropriate setting. I do have the question of what has made you so happy that you are acting more irrationally than normally.”

“I got it,” you laughed. You nuzzled the Vulcan, “I was picked by Professor Paul Stamets to help with his research! Isn’t that exciting?”

Spock sighed, “Yes. That is very exciting.” He smiled and pulled away. He pressed his hand against your cheek, “I-” He thought for a second. His body froze as he thought back to the memory. He remembered his sister yelling at him, ‘Love? You aren’t capable of love.’ Spock shook his head.

You reached out to him. You touched his cheek and with a hushed tone whispered, “Spock?” You never had seen him like this.

‘You are Vulcan,’ Burnham repeated in his mind, ‘You will always be cold and distant. Like a moon, somewhere. You aren’t worth my effort.’

You grabbed his hand with your other hand and repeated louder, “Spock.”

He blinked and looked back at you. He raised his brow in confusion.

“Are you alright,” You asked gently.

Spock nodded, “Yes. I just wanted to congratulate you.” He pat your head, “why don’t we tell everyone else the news? I am sure you will make plenty of people jealous.”

Just like that, Spock let go of his want to ask you to stay with him for the rest of your life. He deemed it as selfish and illogical that you would want to ever choose to be with him forever. You were so far out of his reach. He shouldn’t even try.

It wasn’t until years later that you had even the slightest hint of Spock in your life. He was so busy on his new starship the Enterprise, that it never seemed like you would be able to link up properly. You could understand that. It wasn’t anything personal, you thought.

Working aboard the Discovery now, you were busy as well. Stamets always seemed to have some wild thing you needed to work on. You could say that the Discovery helped you realize the seriousness of all the training exercises all those years ago. Especially once Michael Burnham boarded the ship.

She seemed so similar to your old Vulcan friend. This immediately drew you to her. You forced yourself on her. Your mentor Stamets first had told you that you were supposed to get a Vulcan mutineer that was going to be assigned to your group.

“You were really good friends with that Vulcan in the Academy right,” He asked as you two worked on the mycelial network. Both of you trying to help it grow so that your supply wouldn’t deplete.

You smiled widely, “You mean Spock? Yes! What about it?” You continued your work.

Stamets sighed, “We are getting a Vulcan assigned to us. They were supposedly a mutineer. I want you to help catch them up to speed. Just remember what you can and cannot tell civilians, got it?”

Nodding wildly, you replied, “Roger Dodger.”

You danced out of the lab excited to meet the newbie. Your smile was wide from ear to ear. “Hello,” you called out. You watched as a young black woman turned towards you. You didn’t recognize her. You squinted.

Michael turned whenever she heard the musical voice call out. She assumed it must have been meant for her. She walked over and stood in front of the person calling her. Her eyebrow raised slightly.

You gasped at her brow raise. You smiled, “Yoooooouuu must be the new Vulcan I was told about.” You walked around studying her, “I mean, there was clearly a misunderstanding. But I can tell you must have been raised by Vulcans.”

Michael looked at the strange scientist circling her. She followed with her head and asked, “And how can you tel-”

You interrupted her, “Oh dear! Yes. My best friend at the Academy was a Vulcan. He was very intuned with their customs. So judging on your mannerisms, you must have been raised there as well. You share about 85% of the same mannerisms. If I were a fool, I would say so similar you two could have been related.” You smiled at her.

Michael nodded, “Right. Well.”

“Oh yeah,” you interrupted again, “Catch up time~! Well, catch up to speed, but not so much because a loooott of stuff is classified but enough to get you working. You went to the Vulcan Science Academy? Luckily you! This code over…” You bounced to the main station. You furrowed your brow. “Huh,” you questioned, “where did that broken code go.”

That was when Stamets walked into the room and grilled Burnham handing her the code and dismissing her. He turned to you and motioned, “Go. Out of my sight. Don’t come back before you’ve got something.”

You got along very well with her. You didn’t realize that it was because she was your best friend’s sister until you learned that Sarek was her father. By that point, you didn’t want to make an issue of anything, so you stayed silent.

When Michael collapsed that day, you were the first to recognize what had happened. You brought her back into the medbay screaming. You held her hand as you sat waiting for her. You stared at her, praying for her to return. You knew from Spock that if the other person’s soul and mind stayed within the dying one, that they might die too. This terrified you.

Later, you tried to avoid her as well as her father during his stay. It was awkward for you to be in his presence. He, like Burnham, reminded you of your old lab partner, but he terrified you. Spock would have scolded you for it, but it was just how you felt. You trusted Spock’s judgment on people. He was often right about them.

It wasn’t as if you weren’t busy with other things anyway. You focused on your job every time you could. With your mentor injecting himself with the tardigrade DNA, you had a lot to work with him about now. He was a lot happier now. He described it as being able to see the entire universe and all of its possibilities. You were envious of that. You joked and once told him that maybe next time, they should inject you with some too. Stamets did not appreciate the joke as much as Tilly did.

At the party, you smiled and laughed. You loved seeing your fellow crewmen having so much fun. Someone even brought sparklers. Tilly pulled you around at first. The alcohol that was given to you was really strong. You must have just been giggling the entire time.

You eventually broke off so that you could go dancing a bit. You kept an eye out on your redheaded friend playing beer basket pong though. The roars of adoring fans made you realize she was doing fine.

Hugh called out to you from the edge of the party, so you graciously made your way to him. With a big goofy smile, you yelled above the music, “Yes Dad?”

Hugh laughed and said, “You better take advantage of that while my partner and I are drunk.” He shook his head and asked, “Aren’t trying to contact that Vulcan boy you are so fond of?”

You furrowed your brows and asked back, “Who Spock? Why would I do that? Today isn’t the day I do that?”

Stamets laughed and said, “Oh, you even have a day you record and send messages. That would be so precious if it weren’t so so sad.” He shook his head with a condescending smile. Despite him being an ass sometimes, you knew he truly did care about you and wanted to see you happy. After working closely with him for three years, you came to understand his nature of being condescending was just his guard.

“Thanks, Dad,” You rolled your eyes. Hearing your friend’s voice, you turned to see Tilly addressing Burnham. You blushed. Had she heard you? You didn’t believe so because she wasn’t trying to address the situation with you. You let out a sigh of relief.

Luckily, they actually wanted to take their leave, so you followed to help them. So you didn’t have to stay very long at the party while Burnham was there.

The idea of telling Michael now would have been too much. You could infer that if Michael was close to Spock’s estranged father, she must not be in his good graces either. This hurt you so deeply. A stabbing pain hit your heart every time you laughed with Michael. Every smile shared now felt a sense of dread. Everything felt like a lie. The only salvation was that she did not know that you knew her brother. This lasted for a long time. Eventually, the heartbreak faded. Spock had not contacted you back at all and your relationship with Michael grew. She was like a sister to you. You felt so embarrassed and ashamed that you had allowed yourself to think negatively about her without any confirmation nor prior knowledge.

It was not until the celebration ceremony that she found out. You couldn’t hide that you were a special person to Michael’s brother once Amanda saw you though.

Amanda blinked and waved at you. She rushed to you and gave you a hug. You smiled at her as you held her. When she pulled away, Amanda brushed your hair away from your face, “It has been so long. I am so happy to see you and finally meet you in person.”

“I am so excited to meet you too,” You smiled at the woman.

Michael looked at the two and raised her brow, “Excuse me?”

You blushed and stammered to start to explain when her mother cut you off. “This was Spock’s lab partner. She was very close to him,” Amanda explained.

Michael looked at you and asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you knew my brother before?”

You giggled nervously, “It never really came up before.”

Michael nodded and rolled her eyes, “Right. Well, we are going to have to talk about that later.”

You nodded.

After the celebration, you were hailed by the Enterprise. You were so happy. This meant maybe finally seeing him again. Your heart leaped at the opportunity to see your friend again. He still had not responded to your desperate tries of communication. You still held out hope that maybe he was just busy and it really wasn’t a personal thing.

You were saddened deeply when you did not see him. Christopher Pike seemed to understand. He not only comforted Michael but you as well when Spock was not with the group. You asked more about his whereabouts. You, then, learned he had put himself on Starbase 5 to recuperate after recurring nightmares.

Your heart ached for your friend. You wished you could be there for him, but you had a mission you needed to take care of with the rest of your crew, so you wouldn’t, couldn’t, focus on him right now. Your fellow crewmen, your friends, and new family, they had to come first right now. Spock would have reached out if he truly needed you, you thought to yourself, He was just that sort of person. He never hid anything from you. Sometimes he wouldn’t explain everything, but it was only because you never asked and he didn’t need to reach out.

The news about Spock was soon broken to you and Michael. You aided in her and Pike’s search for her brother. Your heart yearned for him. You never believed he would do anything to harm another person. You agreed completely with his mother. Spock had always been gentle, kind.

When you followed Michael to Vulcan, you didn’t think your first trip to Spock’s childhood home would be like this. You never believed you would be traveling to his home without him beside you, guiding you there. Everything was sleek. Your hand rode up the banister as you walked up following Michael. She seemed entranced. You stared in awe. This place was just as Amanda described to you many years ago. It was hard to imagine you were finally here.

This did not last long however as when Amanda saw you when she and Michael argued, she stopped. She, then, took the two down to the crypt. She stopped and told you two that Spock was not as you would have remembered him. He was very different.

You heard his voice and raced ahead. He was repeating something. You kept turning around. His voice echoed in the chambers of the red caverns. The water dripping did not help the issue. When you finally spotted him, he was rocking to himself. You ran to his side and touched his now unshaven cheek. You smiled a little at him. He kept stuttering to himself rocking.

Michael gently pulled you away as she noticed her brother standing and walking as if not even noticing anyone’s presence. She whispered to you, “It’s probably safer if we stay out of the way.” She pulled you closer to where she and her mother stood to speak more about Spock’s condition. They spoke about what was the best step moving forward.

Spock’s head was reeling. He kept repeating the same things to himself to ground himself. His own mind started to laugh at him. He couldn’t believe how ridiculous everything was. First, the red bursts. Then, time is not linear. Now, you on Vulcan. Everything was now illogical.

You watched as he carved into the wall. Your heart ached. Everything from you dropped as you walked towards him again. He was still so handsome and he was still your Spock. He wasn’t yours though. You reached to touch him again only for him to turn and start to pace once more. He circled the group once.

Spock cursed his mind. Right now was not the time he needed to be tormented by a ghost of his tragic love. This ghost treated him just as his lost love would have. It was so gentle, warm, caring. Maybe that was what tormented him the most. He could only try and walk away to focus on what was truly the issue.

When Sarek arrived, you instinctively grabbed hold of Spock’s hand. You tried to tune them out, you really did. You felt yourself crying hearing his father speak about him. You tried instead to listen to Spock recounting Alice in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass. You remembered him murmuring it once before. Your eyes furrowed as you tried to think back. Whenever you would have trouble sleeping, that was it. He didn’t even need to have the written work in front of him. It always had amazed you. He could remember right where he had left off and continue on again.

In the end, you had no choice but to follow what Sarek had said. You only removed yourself from his side when Michael was with him. Whenever she stormed out to check the numbers once more, you rushed in to be with him. Your hand slipped into his again. When Michael returned, you helped her escape with Spock into a vessel. You pet his face gently and whispered to him, “Hang in there Spock. We are here. Michael and I’ve got you.”

In the shuttle, you stayed with him in the back. Michael, after making sure everything was clear, strode over to you and her brother. She knelt before her brother and gently touched his cheek, much as you had. “Spock can you hear me,” Michael asked him. When she was answered with Spock’s mumbling of 841947, she called to the computer and asked, “Computer, search database for matches of the following numbers: 749 148. In that order.” The computer confirmed her request. Michael called it again and told it to give her everything it had. She whispered to him, “Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time.” She paused to study him then continued, “as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was going to happen next. And what are you trying to say? Talk to me.”

“Database match found,” the voice from the computer rang out as if an angel in the dark corner of space they have now retreated to, “One Planetary System located at 7-4-1 Mark 1-4-8. Identification: Talos 4.”

Michael stared at her brother in surprise then stood. She looked back at you and confirmed, “They were coordinates.” She stood and walked back to the helm of your tiny shuttle. Michael set the course to Talos 4 in the fastest speed the ship could take. She looked back to see you had parked yourself back to her brother, gently moving his hair out of his face.

You whispered to your friend, “Thank you. You are doing well.”

Michael, then, commented, “Where is Spock taking us?”

You awoke to the sound of the computer stating facts to know about Talos 4. You groaned and through groggy vision looked for Spock. You panicked until seeing him with his sister. Burnham must have moved him when you slept. He lay silently in the chair next to her. You watched as she spoke to him and administered medicine to him to help him become more lucid. When Burnham sat back, the ship jolted. You grabbed onto the seat as the shuttle went into red alert. You tried to rush towards the front to help navigate the black hole, but Spock quickly pushed you back into the back. Your breath caught in your chest. “Spock,” you whispered.

Michael yelled at her brother to stop his interfering. She tried to fight him off, but he overpowered her forcing them into the black hole. She stared helplessly as her brother forced them into it. The ship warned of the imminent danger.

Spock knew this illusion. He knew that they would be safe. After pushing his illusion away, he stood with his sister at the front of the ship staring at the beautiful blue planet of Talos 4 in front of them.

“Is that an illusion,” Michael asked her brother panting from the panic. She side glared at her brother as she tried to calm herself down again. She thought for a moment then continued, “No. That was a test. We are really Through the Looking Glass now, aren’t we?”

Spock turned his head to stare at you. He wanted this torture of a vision to go away. There was no chance that you could be on this ship with him and his sister. You had to be in your lab somewhere working, not stretching from him pushing you back into your seat. He kicked himself as he sighed and faced forward again.

Once the ship landed, Michael grabbed you to do a search of the surrounding area. You nodded and followed. Both of you checked on Spock before leaving.

The planet was beautiful. You smiled as you looked around. There was music all in the air. Soon the music stopped. You turned to see that Michael had touched a plant. This is what was singing. The two of you smiled at each other and giggled. For a small moment, you and Michael had forgotten your worries and woes to enjoy something.

That was when Michael noticed someone going towards the ship. You tried to rush it, but Michael held you back behind her. She carefully walked up and surprised the woman. “Turn,” Michael commanded the blonde humanoid, “Slowly.” The woman turned to face the both of you. Your phasers set onto her. She was beautiful. It seemed almost unreal that someone so beautiful would actually exist.

The blonde woman let out a small laugh and smiled, “Who are you?”

“Where I come from,” Michael stated, “The one holding the phaser asks the questions. Are you Talosian?”

The woman slightly shook her head, “No. Human. But a permanent resident.” She turned back towards Spock causing you and Michael to walk forward, phasers still locked on the blonde. The doors closed behind you as the woman whispered to Spock, “It’s me, Vena. Don’t you recognize me?” Spock stared straight ahead not answering her. “What’s happened to him,” she turned to you and Burnham. You could tell she was very concerned so you lowered your phaser.

“Who are you,” Michael asked annoyed, readjusting her grip. She swayed a bit forward. She glared at you seeing you had lowered your weapon.

Vena turned and explained, “I am an old… friend of Christopher Pike. Chris… Is he coming back as well?” She looked very hopeful at this. Your heart suddenly felt relief. You had not even registered that your chest had tightened seeing her so close to Spock. You shook your head. This wasn’t the first nor last time Spock would have close friends. You didn’t understand why you suddenly felt jealousy.

Michael squinted, “Are you saying Captain Pike and Spock have been here before?” She nodded towards her brother when she referred to him.

“Well in some ways Pike never left,” Vena shook her head and looked towards the ground. She looked back towards Michael and explained her origin. This caused Michael to lower her own phaser and introduce herself. Vena, then, tilted her head up and spoke for the Talosians. They asked for them to beam down with Spock so that they could examine him.

You quickly nodded and moved to get ready to do so, but Michael grabbed your arm and pulled you back, “What do you mean examine him?” The two of you watched Spock slowly nod. Michael put two and two together and then stated, “You brought us here because you knew the Talosians could help you.” She furrowed her brow at him and accused, “Were you in communication with them?”

Spock hit his fist against the ship. You could tell his frustration rising.

Vena and Burnham finally concluded the conversation as you rushed to Spock’s side to try and calm him down. You knelt next to him and smiled up at him. Spock only turned his head away from you as if he didn’t want to look at you. Your heart sank. Tears started to well up behind your eyes. The burning of them cause you to squint and allow a few of the tears roll down your cheeks. Burnham placed a hand on your shoulder and smiled gently at you. She helped you up and comforted you before you made your journey.

When you arrived, you stuck closely to Michael. Everything was moving so quickly. You reached for your head and they turned to you, “May we, also, look into your memories with her brother?” You furrowed your brow.

“What,” you asked confused.

Michael shook her head, “We are going to have to find another way.” She walked towards Spock who shook his head. He turned towards you now slowly coming to terms that you were real. Why else would the Talosians speak to you if you were just an illusion of his mad mind? It wouldn’t have been unlike them, he concluded to himself, but what about Michael? He hadn’t thought about it before, but Michael shouldn’t have been able nor know about his illusion so why would she interact with you either?

When Michael came out of the memory, she pushed herself against the rock. You ran to her. She was panicking. You grasped her hand. She clung on and she hyperventilated. The two of you looked up at Spock to see him look down at Michael commenting, “Now you see.” Michael then passed out.

If Spock were not in recovery, you would have slapped him. You glared at him. Tears rolled down your face. You removed yourself from holding Burnham and stomped towards the Talosians. “I’m inferring that if you want to study my friend’s memories with her brother because it is a wound for him. I must be the same. I am ready,” you stated through grit teeth. You glared at them. You were furious. Tired of being pushed around, frustrated of being ignored, your fists curled so tightly that your knuckles started to change color.

Your memories were not what you thought they were going to be. The Talosians wanted to see the transition and the grown love you and Spock had shared. They made you replay the memory of first seeing him, of first growing together.

You relived the first winter together, reading in the library. Your head in his lap as you read over some of the project notes. Your eyes becoming droopy as Spock preoccupied with his reading played with your hair. You don’t even think he cognitively registered that he was doing so. The warm drinks you had gotten sitting on the table next to you. He hummed a tune as you studied. The snow falling gently on the heads of the perfectly sculpted snowman and crudely built snowVulcan.

You smiled as moments from your second spring replayed. You followed behind the image of you and Spock. This was when you pulled him to you to hide from your friends. There was a massive game of hide and seek that you agreed to that Spock actually enjoyed. He commented that it would be a nice practice for stealth-based assignments. You pulled him into a very small alcove in the building. You couldn’t stop your giggling. Spock had to put his hand over your mouth to keep you from revealing your hiding spot. There was a sparkle in his eye that made you want to lean in and place your lips against his, but you held yourself back.

The third summer was spent on a beach with your friends and professors. As the sunset dropped over the water, the sky transitioned to purple, pink, and red. Spock walked next to you. He let enough gap in his arm so that you could wrap yours around his. You slid your arm into the gap and leaned your head on his shoulder as your footprints left their mark on the sand. Once away from the group, Spock removed you from him. He touched his index and middle fingertip to yours. Your breath caught as the jolt rushed through you again. You pulled your lower lip to bite the edge of it. Your eyes locked with his deep brown ones. You moved closer to him. His lips curled at the edges. His coolness melted into a loving warmth. This act always gave you a different perspective of the stoic race of Vulcans. You thought this was just a way for friends to feel closer for Vulcans. You realized through this memory, that you never actually had any other person in your life at that time. Whenever you thought of romance, all you thought of was Spock.

That last fall, you finally were able to convince him to go dancing with you. He was surprisingly spry and light on his feet. You thought you were going to have to teach him for a painstaking amount of hours, but he was able to keep up quite well, for the slow bits at least. Once anything with a faster tempo came to play, he looked a bit confused. He didn’t seem to mind watching you have fun and to try himself. You were really proud of him.

When you were released from your memories, you looked towards Spock. He had walked towards you. His voice as low as he caressed your cheek, “You are real.”

You nodded. When you looked into his eyes, he looked in so much despair. You pressed your forehead against his as tears rolled down your cheeks. Spock grabbed your hand and laced his thumb, ring finger, and pinkie with yours. The other two fingers pressed together with yours. Instead of the regular jolt that you felt, a warmth washed over you despite his cool hands. You continued your sobbing. You nodded, “Yes I’m real.” Your other hand ran through his longer than normal hair. “I am real,” you repeated in between sobs.

For the first time ever, you heard Spock laugh. Your eyes were closed from crying so you didn’t get to see it. He finished lacing your hands together. He pulled away from you and wiped your tears. “Please forgive me,” He asked.

You looked at him. His brown eyes held a scared look. They always revealed his secrets. He was terrified. You nodded slowly, “Please just never go where I can’t follow.”

“Logically speaking-.”

“Shut up,” You told him. You pulled away and looked towards the Talosians. You silently thanked them. Vena smiled and pulled you away to wash the tears off your face allowing the siblings to have some much needed time to be alone to talk. You did not arrive back until the conversation with Captain Pike. You smiled knowing that you were going to be meeting back with the rest of your crewmen soon. Taking a deep breath, you followed Spock to the shuttle to prepare for beaming to the Discovery once it was in range.

Michael was not ready for the Talosians to bring that memory back up. She didn’t want to relive telling Spock that she didn’t want a “freak like you as a brother” only to have to hear the child him respond back with the words, “But I love you.” She didn’t want to have either one of them have to hear her yell at him that he was not capable of love. Once out of the memory, she tried her best to apologize.

“Spock, I am so sorry,” She said fighting back tears.

Spock’s eyes investigated the ground before looking back at his sister. “In point of fact, I am grateful. Your words showed me how damaging my humanity could be.”

“No, your humanity was beautiful,” Michael argued, “I was a child.”

“You were a catalyst. And in an attempt to escape emotion, to escape you, I fully submerged myself in logic. But my bedrock of logic has always been time itself. And now time has failed me, logic has failed me. Emotion has failed me,” Spock continued, “I have nothing to build upon, yet build I must. This could be the building point of multiple civilizations, millions of lives, and I am not ready.”

Michael studied her brother for a second before asking, “Are you more angry at me or yourself?”

“Do not attempt to,” Spock paused, “psychoanalyze me, Michael. Better minds than yours have tried and failed.”

“Yet,” Michael argued, “You chose me for this journey. You value our connection. Perhaps, the bedrock of your logic is this relationship.”

Spock countered, “Absurd. You are correct, however, on one matter. It was foolish to idolize you and I regret it deeply.”

Right when you were going to interrupt, Vena did instead. She warned of the upcoming danger.

When you arrived back on Discovery, you rushed to Saru and gave your commanding officer a large hug. “Oh, I’ve missed you,” you said with a giant smile. You walked with him towards the lab, “I can’t wait to tell you about the Talosian singing plants.”

After everything had calmed down, you smiled and told Spock and Captain Pike that you had room for Spock in your quarters. Pike seemed to understand and quickly arranged the situation before Spock had time to object. He chuckled seeing his science officer seem so flustered.

You opened your arms to motion to you and Spock’s quarters. “Here we are,” You explained. You sat on your bed and smiled. Your room was full of greenery and plants. You had filled your life with things to care for since Spock’s absence in your life. Pictures of you with your fellow crewmen and your mentor and his partner filled every empty wall space next to your bed. Pictures of you and Tilly laughing at a party, images of the first time Stamets and you took a hiking trip, recollections of you and Michael looking out at the stars, Hugh taking you to your first Kasseelian opera. All of it. Precious memories surrounded you.

A twinge of jealousy hit Spock at that moment. He looked around and commented, “It seems you have adjusted well.” He sighed as he sat on the bed across from you. He laid down staring up at the ceiling.

You smiled and rummaged in your bedstand. You pulled out an album. You held it over Spock’s face and said, “All of yours are in here. I would have needed the entire other side of the room to have enough room for all of our memories.” You placed it into his hands and curled up next to him to look through it with him.

Spock raised his brow at you but wrapped his long arm around you to keep you close to look through the album with you. “You know,” he explained, “We relived a lot of this on Talos 4. We don’t have-”

You put a finger to his lips and shushed him, “Let’s just enjoy this while we can.”

He nodded and started to carefully go through the pages with you. His breathing slowed in relaxation. Spock couldn’t believe that you were so close to him once more. Everything was just the same as it always had. He stole a look at you from the side. You were just as gorgeous now as you were in his memories. Your warmth and love irradiated from you just as it did years ago. Spock found it hard to believe that after everything, you still chose to be in his arms, by his side.

Your work was cut out for you as soon as you arrived back. You found the spore drive defective and Stamets rushing to fix it. You couldn’t disagree. He was in the right. The spore drive was your main mode of transportation. So you focused on that with your mentor. He counted off the ones you and he had tried then turned to Michael and Spock who were also working in the room. He prodded them to talk. You tried to intervene but they soon started to argue prompting Stamets to kick them out immediately.

It wasn’t long before Spock came to reconvene in the lab. He was alone this time to do his work. You sat on the floor reanalyzing panels while Stamets had decided to move to the electrical conduit. You tried to tune out your partner and mentor squabbling when the power went out.

“Fuck,” you cried out annoyed. Both Spock and Stamets looked at you for a moment.

Stamets called your name in a surprised tone but then cracked a smile, “That’s my protege for you.” He laughed. He shook his head and commented, “I know what you mean. There’s a power short on top of everything else.” He rolled his eyes as he grabbed a flashlight.

“This makes my work impossible,” Spock commented grabbing both your and Stamets’s attention, “And I am not being hyperbolic when I say the future of the galaxy is at stake.”

Stamets looked dumbfounded as he started to storm towards him, “Well, um…”

“Here we go,” you smiled and sat back to watch your mentor tell Spock off. You folded your arms amused.

Stamets strolled over to the tall man and said, “Unless I can reroute power to the adjacent conduit, isolate the corruption, fix it and the spore drive.” He motioned around the room with his flashlight (which actually blinded you for a second), “we are all going to be arrested.” Stamets made a face, “So if you want to save the galaxy, start by helping me.” He tossed Spock the flashlight.

Spock easily caught it and nodded, “Fair point.” He walked with the blond man back to the subsystem as you switched to using battery-operated power.

You heard Spock hand the flashlight back to Stamets after his boots echoed through the now quiet lab. “I didn’t know you knew anything about electrical,” Stamets commented.

“I have many talents,” Spock replied. Stamets rose his eyebrows at you making a smug face before listening to Spock’s next request, “Flashlight over here please.”

Stamets moved to where Spock had asked him to move. He, then, tried to make conversation, “So, did Burnham’s idea help? Did you figure out why the Red Angel chose you?”

Spock simply shook his head, “No.” He walked away, “I examined it from countless angles.” You heard his voice get louder which meant he must have returned, “Yet I remain an illogical choice.”

“Well,” Stamets asked, “Have you thought about what makes you unique?”

Spock’s voice didn’t seem directed more towards you anymore, so you assumed he must have been looking at your mentor when he said, “I am half-human. Unusual, but there are others like me.” His voice returned, “I can think of nothing else.”

You heard Stamets take a breath. This made you pause in your own work to watch them. It was amazing to see your mentor interact with the person you hold closest to your heart. It reminded you why you loved your mentor in the first place. “Well,” He started, “If I were the Red Angel traveling through time, I’d plan my mind-melding strategy pretty carefully. Wouldn’t just choose a random Vulcan. Keep trying. You’ll figure it out.”

This made you smile. It was as if watching a father-in-law comfort his child’s husband. You could tell, in that moment, just how much you and Michael met to Stamets. Spock, then, turned back on the power.

“Great,” Stamets said walking back to the main hub, “Now if only the spore drive were that easy.”

You called up from the floor, “I think the corruption maybe with the navigator.”

Stamets took off his gloves frustrated, “Oh yeah. Because, you know, that isn’t important. Only holds the map to the entire mycelial network.”

“You’ve traveled that network hundreds of times,” Spock commented, “I’m sure you can travel between two points without assistance. Perhaps you only lack faith in your own abilities.”

Spock turned to walk away. You could tell he just wanted to get back to work. Your mentor followed him though, kicking you along the way, “I know you are angry at Burnham, but she risked her life to bring you here. She loves you.”

“If I may make an observation of my own,” Spock asked before proceeding, “I saw Dr. Culber moving out of your shared quarters. You seemed quite upset.”

Stamets looked confused about what Spock meant, “Yes, he said he needs distance.”

During this Spock stared straight into your eyes, “I submit that the assessment of the situation may be inverted. Perhaps he needs distance from you not because he no longer has feelings for you, but because he no longer knows how to feel about himself.” He looked more into Stamets’s eyes again before turning to return to his work.

When the three of you returned to the bridge, you saw Tilly crying talking to Airiam. You started to tear up and rushed to your redheaded friend’s side. You held her while she talked to your fellow crewman and friend.

Airiam continued, “And all of you will die.” She pleaded, “Please Michael. The airlock.”

You quickly realized what she was trying to say and clung to Tilly. She returned by holding your arms in place but keeping her focus on your friend on the screen.

Michael shook her head, “We can fight this Airiam.” You watched as Michael tried to break into the system.

Spock called out to his sister, “Michael. Stop.”

Airiam interrupted, “I disabled my helmet. I will not survive in space.”

You sobbed. Tilly rested her head against you as tears ran down her face as well. Captain Pike told Michael, “Open the Airlock.”

“Sir,” Michael said, not standing down, “I don’t want to disobey your orders, but if this works.”

“It’s you or her Michael,” Spock reasoned.

“15 seconds,” Airiam cried, “Please.”

“Open the airlock Michael,” Captain Pike repeated.

Michael cried out, “One more minute. Please!”

Tilly spoke up, “Hey Airiam. I’m going to send you your favorite memory. Okay? Look at it.”

“I can’t look at it now, Tilly,” Airiam explained. “Michael,” She called again, “You have no other alternative but to eject me.”

Captain Pike stated, “Burnham, that’s an order.”

Michael cried in frustration and ran to the blue cyber augmented woman. She paused.

Airiam apologized, “I’m so sorry. It wanted me to kill you. Everything is because of you.”

“Because of me,” Michael asked through tears.

“Michael,” Spock tried to get through to his sister, “Open the airlock.”

“Please,” Airiam asked, “Tell everyone I love them.” You sobbed hearing Airiam say that and sobbing as well. You tried to fight back the tears, but you couldn’t. You just held Tilly as much as you could to try and ground yourself. Your heart wrenched. “You have to find Project Daedalus,” Airiam continued.

Michael shook her head confused and repeated, “Project Daedalus?”

The airlock, then, opened and released Airiam into the vacuum of space. Tilly started to allow her tears to fall and held you back fully now.

That night, you could not sleep alone. You walked over to Spock’s bed and asked, “Can I-”

He already made a spot for you to crawl in, “Yes. Of course.”

You crawled into the bed and curled up next to the rigid man. He did not relax until you had finished moving and getting comfortable. He sighed and started to play with your hair.

His low voice rumbled as he quoted, “`I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."'

`I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, `if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it.'

`That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess replied, in a pleased tone.

`Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' said Alice.

`Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make you a present of everything I've said as yet.'

`A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don't give birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to say it out loud.

`Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp little chin.

`I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to feel a little worried.

`Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to fly; and the m--'

But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died away, even in the middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm.”

His voice gave way to tell the most fantastic story. He gave each character a very distinct inflection so that you were able to know exactly who was speaking before he had to tell you in his more normal monotoned voice that he used as the general narrator. Your tears slowly fell onto his chest. Instead of stopping in the story, he held you closer and continued to recount Alice in Wonderland to you until you had fallen asleep.

Once the crew was able to recover her body, there was a funeral. Captain Pike gave a beautiful sermon. Tilly, Stamets, Detmer, and Burnham spoke while Saru sang for her last departure. Every night after Airium’s death, you found yourself curled up next to Spock for comfort. You were pretty sure that you had heard the ending of Alice and Wonderland so now you believe he must have picked up with Alice Through the Looking Glass again. Though, you would never know unless you inquired due to your lack of memorization.

Dr. Culber had you taken from your post to try and rest. He leveled with Captain Pike that after all the trauma you were enduring, it would be best if you didn’t have too much on your plate. Instead, Stamets had you stay in the gardens. It was nice to work. It took your mind off a lot of things. The ability to care for something and be able to see the fruits of your labor calmed your mind.

You were only removed from your garden area when they decided to destruct the Discovery. You were evacuated with your equipment and Spock had luckily packed all of your pictures and plants from your room. When you made it aboard the Enterprise, Spock pulled you into his quarters to comfort you from your panic. You had no idea that you were hyperventilating until you felt his strong arms around you. Your breathing and heart rate slowed as he hushed your panic. He rocked you for a moment then smiled, “Do you like it?”

You looked around his room. It was very clean, but it seemed like he kept a few personal items, including a musical instrument that you didn’t recognize. You opened your mouth to ask him about it, but he answered, “I have many talents.” You smiled at the room.

“Spock,” You turned to face him. You felt so much for him. Every moment, every feeling seemed to build up to this very moment. You went to him to whisper.

“Lt. Spock to the Bridge,” The bridge called.

You let out a sigh and felt Spock sigh as well. “I will be back,” He promised.

As soon as he got back, he shook his head and said, “It’s time to get us back onto the Discovery.”

You pouted and grabbed only your pictures with your friends this time. You mumbled, “Stupid ass sphere data.”

Upon hearing Michael’s speech, you got back to your work with the spore drive. You tried your hardest to optimize it as much as you could. Maybe you could make it come online faster, maybe… It was useless. You thought in your head for a moment and walked to your quarters to get ready for the oncoming battle.

You smiled as you walked out seeing Stamets. He smiled back at you through your tears. He wrapped his arm around your and patted your hand, “I am going to assume you came to the same conclusion.” You nodded and followed him to the rest of the group that decided to stay on the Discovery to be with Michael.

Tilly giggled as everyone gathered together. She teared up as well, “I’m going to go get Michael now.”

Spock nodded, “Please do.”

When Tilly walked back, she explained, “Some people are still working. Poe is designing on siege weapons… which I can’t even…” She trailed off but got back on topic, “Anyway, We are here because we are staying with you.”

“No,” Michael immediately replied, “No. I can’t let you do this.” She took a small step back.

Reno spoke up, “We aren’t asking for permission.”

“This isn’t possible,” Michael tried to explain her standpoint, “You have lives. You have people who love you. Families who love you. They will never see you again.”

Saru nodded, “Commander, Our families accepted the possibility of this moment when we joined Starfleet. Committing to a life amongst the stars is in itself a resolution to leave some things behind.”

“But I don’t know what the future holds,” Michael continued to argue.

“No one does,” Stamets spoke up.

You continued his sentence, “We just have now.”

Spock tried to end the argument, “We are coming with you, Michael. Further argument would be futile. Please accept this.”

Michael shook her head. You could tell she was about to cry. This couldn’t last long. All of you needed to get to your stations.

You touched your two fingertips to Spock’s for the last time before the jump and whispered, “See you on the other side.”

A rush of emotions filled the both of you. Spock jerked up and looked at you with a gleam in his eye. He shook his head and said, “I have to explain what that means after all of this.”

Just like that, you two went to your separate stations to work. You focused on the drive and keeping the lab up and running as everyone else focused on the “main” areas needed.

Spock looked at his sister and gave her a touching Vulcan salute before turning to the shuttle. “Stay in my wake,” he commanded.

He drove his sister through the battlefield. So many things rushed through his head, but he had to focus on only this. This was his first priority. If he couldn’t do this, none of the other rushing thoughts would matter anyway.

You braced for impact, but every time, it still nearly threw you across the room. You cursed as you grit your teeth to continue your work trying to ignore the spark burns. You had to push forward. For your family, you had to keep going forward. For Spock, you had to keep going.

Spock comforted his sister. He thought for a moment and realized they were in an open loop. He guided Michael to the answer and she coordinated her jumps. When the shot hit his shuttle, he yelled for Michael to go.

When Michael got back, Saru told Michael that it was time to go. She turned to Spock and said, “Alright It’s time to go Spock. Get back to Discovery.”

Spock looked at his ship. “Michael,” He called his sister’s attention, “I cannot.”

“What,” Michael asked. She prayed he was joking. It wasn’t the time or place for him to be saying this.

Spock nodded, “When my vessel was hit. My engines are disabled.”

“Discovery can lock onto you with a tractor beam,” Michael bargained.

Spock disagreed, “There is no time and even if there were, they would have to lower their shields to bring me aboard. They will not survive doing so. Not in this battle. Not with the amount of damage that ship has already sustained.” He looked at his sister pleadingly, “You must go.”

Michael shook her head and walked towards her brother, “I just got you back. I don’t wanna let go.”

“Neither,” Spock admitted, “do I.”

Michael started to cry, “We already lost you once.”

“You never lost me, Michael,” Spock comforted, “As a child, I was truly lost. The path of my father, the path of my mother, you came into our lives and taught me that it was possible to travel both. You found me. You saved me.”

Michael shook her head, “That wasn’t me. That was always in you.”

“You are my balance, Michael. You always have been,” Spock said shaking his head, “and I’m afraid that I will not find it again without you.”

Michael took in a deep breath and said, “Okay. Listen to me, little brother. This is the last advice I will ever be able to give you.”

Months later, Spock was going through his personal things. His brow raised as he found something hidden in the album of you and he that you had left before the Discovery’s disappearance. He pulled it out to see a message log. He put it into his computer. There stood you.

“Hey,” you started, “Or, should I say, hello Spock. To me, I just saw you moments ago so it feels strange doing this. If you are seeing this, I’m sure you know that I decided to stay on board the ship with my crewmen.” You took a deep breath. Tears had started to fall, “And you are not here with me. But it’s okay. It’s okay because I know now how to say it. I know now what you were trying to tell me. I love you...and I know you love me too.” You licked your chapped lips and laughed, “It’s actually really comforting. Even if we don’t grow old together, after this experience I know that we will love each other forever. Time has to keep repeating itself for the timeline to be complete, so we are forever in a loop where we fall in love with each other. Isn’t that amazing?” You shook your head, “I’ve loved you since I first saw you at the Academy. You were tall, handsome, and nothing like I had ever experienced before. I was thrilled that we got to go through our training life together, even if you were a handful sometimes. I have to admit though. You were a lot kinder than I first thought. A lot more gentle too. You are sassy and sometimes annoyingly a know it all. I just… I think I realized then that no matter how much I reached for you, you wouldn’t ever reach back. So I waited for you. Which is what I will do now. I’m going to wait for you.” You smiled. It looked as though you were going to end the message, but then you said, “Oh wait! One more thing. I figured it out.” You held up the Vulcan Salute, “Live Long and Prosper, My Love.”

Spock wiped his tears from his eyes and ended the message. He took the disk and placed it into a pocket next to his heart in his new blue uniform.

“Mr. Spock to Bridge,” The bridge called to Spock after he was done shaving. He walked onto the bridge.

Everyone stared at the now clean-shaven and trimmed haired Spock before them. He broke the silence by asking about the anomaly.

“I believe so, number one is running it now,” Captain Pike confirmed.

Once confirmation hit, it eased Spock’s soul. He felt relieved to see that his sister and love had made it through the wormhole safely.

That was when a communications officer called, “Sir, I am getting an SOS call from near the seventh signal.”

You stood out on the ship deck with Tilly. You stared out. “He wasn’t able to make it,” Tilly commented.

“No,” you replied back. You smiled gently at her and Reno, “I just don’t think the universe ever wanted us to be together.”

“Fuck that,” You heard from a weak voice behind you. You turned to see Stamets leaning on Hugh. He pushed you into an escape pod, “Fuck that, ‘the universe doesn’t want me and my boyfriend together’ bullshit.” He looked toward Tilly and released you out on his count.

“It looks like an escape pod from the Discovery, sir,” The analyst called out to Captain Pike.

Captain Pike replied, “Then let’s go get it.”

Spock’s heart lept. He raced to the transporter room before anyone even needed to tell him to be there. His sister’s advice echoed through his mind, “There’s a whole galaxy out there, full of people who will reach for you. You have to let them. Find the person who seems farthest from you and reach for them.”

He stood and watched as you materialized in front of him from the transporter. You ran to him. Your arms wrapped themselves around his neck as you kissed him. Your hands buried themselves in his hair. Spock took this time to wrap his arms around you as well to reciprocate. Much to your surprise, your Vulcan love deepened the kiss full of devotion and love.

“Reach for them. Let them guide you,” Those words rang in his mind.

When he finally felt like he could let go, he pulled away. He rested his forehead against yours, “I lied to you.”

“I know,” You said crying. Relief hit you like a tsunami. Here you were, finally, with the man you loved so desperately.

Spock pulled away just enough to look into your eyes, “I will not do so anymore. Please, will you agree to be bound to me for life? I think the proper term is..”

“Yes,” you exclaimed, “I will marry you.”

#Mr. Spock #spock x reader #disco!spock #Star Trek Fanfiction #st: DISCO #discovery spock x reader #star trek discovery x reader #disco!spock x reader

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lannister-slings-and-arrows · 4 years

Text

ENG 114: The Classic Novel (1/?)

So this is the college/Professor AU that literally no one but me asked for lol. I don’t think I’ve written fic since my Spock/Kirk days so I apologize in advance for this. I might make this a series? Maybe? Enjoy

pairing: Pedro Pascal x Reader word count: 1,912 warnings: THIGH RIDING. a little, because thanks guys, I am apparently unable to escape that any more lol

Summary: “I have to say, there are some pretty glaring errors with your citations. I’m a little disappointed.” Your eyebrows draw together in a frown.

“I don’t make citation errors.” He shrugs, grin never faltering.

“Come over here and see if you don’t believe me,”

“Do I need to buy you a watch?” His eyes unerringly find yours as you run into his office, backpack narrowly missing the precariously stacked pile of papers on the small, rickety table by the door. His lips are quirked into that tiny smirk you think he has to know by now that you can’t resist. You chance a grin back.

“I’d rather you give me something else, if you’re offering sir.” You hear a short huff of breath escape him and see that flash of something in his deep brown eyes. That something a little dark and a little dangerous that never fails to send shivers down your spine and a burning hand clenching at your insides. He allows his eyes to dwell on all the places he knows you want them to before returning to the papers on his desk in front of him. Still smiling, he pushes his glasses onto the top of his head, messing up his already dishevelled hair.

“I need those sorted and stapled for the survey course we’re supposed to be at in twenty minutes,” he informs you, effectively drenching you and your blatant flirting in a very cold metaphorical shower. You frown down at the stack of papers you had nearly sent flying.

“That’s like, at least an hour long job!” He briefly glances back up at you, smirking at your annoyance.

“That’s the amount of time you would have had if you’d shown up when you were supposed to, isn’t it?”

Growling low in your throat, you toss your bag onto the floor and throw yourself into the chair in front of his desk, dragging the table with its paper punishment closer.

“Something bothering you?” he asks innocently, smiling, still reading that paper, purple pen occasionally scribbling a critique or a word or two of praise.

“Nope! Totally cool, nothing could possibly be more exciting than this,” you force out through gritted teeth, dividing the different pages into three stacks for easy sorting.

“Oh good. I’d hate for any part of this relationship to be disappointing to you. Or for you to be feeling less than satisfied in any way.” You feel your eyes widen in surprise as they flick across the desk to him. He still isn’t looking at you.

Your frown turns into a sly grin as you stand up and reach across his desk for the stapler that’s sitting next to his hand. Your fingers brush across his, finally gaining his attention, and you’re about to drag the stapler slowly back towards yourself when he catches hold of it and pulls it back. You look up from the desk to see him watching you, a playful grin tugging at his lips, lifting his mustache and crinkling the corners of his eyes. You tug again and he tugs back harder. As you open your mouth to protest his other hand shoots out and grabs your wrist, silencing whatever you had been about to say. His touch successfully distracts you long enough for him to pull the stapler out of your hand and drop it at the far corner of his desk. You watch the tiny tattoo between his left thumb and forefinger as he turns your arm over, exposing the soft, delicate skin of your wrist. He traces the fine blue veins that weave their way up the inside of your arm with warm and slightly calloused fingers, watching as goosebumps follow his path and your fingers twitch in response, brushing against his sleeve.

He lets go of your hand and sits back in his chair. You meet his eyes again as he reaches up and takes his glasses off, slowly folding them before setting the clear frames more gently alongside the purple pen and papers he had abandoned, rubbing his finger along the rough edge his dog had chewed into them.

“This is your last paper, you know,” he remarks casually, gesturing to his desk. Your eyes follow his fingers as they massage and squeeze each other while he speaks, distracted by the thought of what else those digits could be doing right now.

“Oh yeah?” you manage to squeak out. He nods, still watching, still smirking.

“I have to say, there are some pretty glaring errors with your citations. I’m a little disappointed.” Your eyebrows draw together in a frown.

“I don’t make citation errors.” He shrugs, grin never faltering.

“Come over here and see if you don’t believe me,” he offers, scooting his chair back slightly, making room for you between him and his desk. You walk around to his side and he waves at the papers in front of him, relaxing back, legs sprawled as if he were sitting on a throne. When you squeeze by him your fingers drag along his arm lightly as it rests on the chair arm, and you pluck the papers off the desk. Sitting on the edge directly in front of him, you flick your eyes up to his and find them heavy, dark, and burning, full of all sorts of promises.

You thumb through the papers in your hand till you reach your notes at the end. You scoff as you skim through them, stopping at the one that he had circled and corrected saying,

“I didn’t do this wrong.” Still smiling, he sits up a little straighter and leans forward.

“You did.” He takes the paper out of your hand and tosses it on the desk behind you, putting his hands on your knees. “But I know this wasn’t your first citation style, it’s understandable that you get confused every now and again.” You look down at his playful grin and are unable to keep the smile off your face. Putting your hands on his shoulders and rubbing gently, you muse, eyebrows raised,

“Weren’t you the one who taught me this hellish citation style back in undergrad? So really,” your fingers move to scratch lightly at his scalp and tangle in the messy brown curls at the back of his neck. “If I have made a mistake, which I did not,” He huffs out a laugh, hands squeezing the knees that he still holds captive in his palms. “It’s your fault anyways.”

“Oh it is, is it?” You nod, leaning more heavily on his shoulders.

“Totally your fault. I am, of course, blameless in all things.” His fingers move to tickle the backs of your knees and your legs twitch as you try to escape his grasp.

“Maybe you just weren’t paying attention?” he asks, relenting after a few seconds, before he’s hit with a jerking knee or foot. Which has happened before. More than once. A little breathless from trying to contain the giggles he had been attempting to provoke, you gently tug on his hair and reply,

“Gee, I wonder who’s fault that could have been?” He shrugs innocently, eyes crinkling in amusement. “Well, maybe I just need some extra help. Outside normal office hours.” You lick your lips as you watch his smile turn a little sharper.

“We can’t have you making these kind of silly mistakes when you write your thesis,” he points out, eyes still holding yours as he releases your knees and rubs the tops of his thighs. You feel your mouth go dry as you try to formulate a response, more than a little distracted at the way his pants stretch taught, remembering all the times that you’ve thought about straddling and riding them to kingdom come. “Can we?”

He stands slowly, moving into your space, trapping you against the desk, one hand resting next to your leg, warm fingers of his other hand tipping your chin up towards him, the smell of his cologne and his laundry detergent permeating the air, distracting and delicious. Your arms slip from his shoulders, down his body, falling to his waist, and you clutch the fabric of his shirt tightly as he cups your face in his large hand, watching your throat when you swallow, dark eyes full of mischief.

“But if you’re so convinced that there isn’t a problem, why would you need my help? You know I only work with the most,” he pauses. “Serious students under me.” You shake your head slowly.

“Now, now, use your big girl words.” You shiver, that voice shooting straight through you, your eyes fluttering shut.

“No, I think it’s better to be safe than sorry,” you breathe quietly.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” You smirk, eyes trapped by his as soon as you manage to pry them open.

“Please sir,” Your breath hitches, the games the two of you play haven’t ever gone this far. “What ever could I possibly do to correct this most grievous of errors?” He smiles, hands gently separating your legs to move further between them, his body warm and insistent.

“You really want my help?” You nod. He grabs your chin again and gives your head a little shake, his other hand stroking your leg slowly.

“Yes sir,” you correct yourself with a small laugh and a roll of your eyes. “I don’t know that I will ever be able to correct these mistakes without your wise counsel, Jedi Master, expert at the MLA style citation.”

“Now don’t get cocky.”

“No, that’s your job.” You see the points of his teeth as his lip curls up to one side in a feral grin.

“My, my, young padawan, for someone making such freshman mistakes you’re sure willing-”

“To get pretty fresh with you?” you interrupt, pleased with yourself and your pun. His head drops to your shoulder as he laughs, mustache tickling your neck. You bite back a moan at the sensation, unable to keep your eyes from closing again. Fuck you love that thing.

He stands up straight again, shifting so he could press a thigh into the crotch of your jeans. One hand still on your face, the other gripping your hip, he flexes and pulls you closer, encouraging you to grind yourself onto his leg. You gasp quietly, sparks shooting up your spine at every rub of him against the center of you.

“So you’d be willing to try anything?” he confirms, eyes hot and crinkling at the edges with the smile that still stretches over his whole face as he continues to hold himself tight against you.

“Anything you say, sir.” you reply, still amused, very excited by this new turn of events.

His fingers stroke your cheek gently as he leans over you and you can feel his breath on your face, his lips inches from yours. You hold your breath, unable to believe that fucking finally you’re getting somewhere-

When he boops your nose and whispers, silky smooth,

“Staple those papers and bring them to class. You’ve got fifteen minutes.” He takes a step back and grabs the glasses off of his desk with a cheeky wink. You slip forward, trying to follow his hand, his shirt sliding from your grasp, your hands falling back to your lap.

“I’m grabbing coffee, I’ll see you in a bit!” He calls cheerily over his shoulder as he walks around his desk and out of his office and you can hear the grin in his voice.

You stare out of the window in front of you for at least a minute.

“Well shit,” you say to the empty room, cheeks still on fire, brain scrambling to process just how close he had been to- “Son of a fucking bitch.”

#Pedro Pascal x Reader #pedro pascal #fanfic #pedro pascal x reader #Pedro Pascal

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grandtheftstarship · 5 years

Text

Drunken Promises (Leonard McCoy x Fem!Reader) [Request!]

“Hi I was wondering if you could write a story where Bones and the reader get really drunk on shore leave and get married. Neither of them know until they dock at a station and she gets a package on the bridge for Mrs. McCoy.” -anon

Hi anon!! I can NOT tell you how much I LOVE THIS IDEA. I had sooooo much fun writing this! Thank you for requesting!

Ughh I CAN NOT WAIT until summer break. Three more weeks, but they’re all going to be long ones. Here’s what’s going to be happening upload-wise: I have finals in two weeks and then I will be gone on a trip for another week without my laptop. I will hopefully have pre-written requests to upload from my phone, but I’m not sure if I will have time. If that doesn’t happen, once I get home I will write like there’s no tomorrow! I will be getting requests out

Word Count: 2043 Warnings: Fluff, swearing, implied smut Posted: Tumblr, Wattpad

You had definitely not planned on getting drunk. You were even the ‘designated driver’, and even though you were on Risa and had definitely not driven there, it was still (supposed) to be up to you to get everyone back to the ship safely. That was not what had gone down.

The beginning was coming back slowly and in little pieces the next morning. You were hungover as hell, and supposedly everyone else that had gone on shore leave was too, judging by how Jim had given everyone an extra day to regroup.

Sometime last night, you had rented a hotel room. You had assumed you had done it alone, since you woke up alone, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. You were sprawled over the king-sized bed, limbs tangled in the sheets and a bottle of fresh apple juice tucked under your arm. You groaned as light filtered into the room as one of Rigel V’s suns started rising higher, rolling over and taking a swig from your juice.

You could remember who you went with; Jim, Scotty, Chekov, Spock, Uhura, Sulu, and Leonard. You remembered slipping into that [f/c] dress that you had been dying to wear in front of Leonard and caking on that ridiculous amount of makeup to make him jealous when other guys approached you. You just couldn’t remember anything after that.

Hours later, your rumbling stomach was enough for you to drag your drunk ass out of bed, gripping the apple juice bottle tightly. You slid your legs out first, only then realizing you were nearly naked (which was just a little odd) and then allowing your head to adjust to the sudden movement. You didn’t have any clothes with you since you came here straight from the bar, so you shrugged a plush complementary robe over your shoulders and made your way to the doorway. That was, until something on your bedside table caught your eye.

You stumbled back towards your bed, bending down to pick it up. Your eyes widened when it hit you, nearly dropping back down.

It was an elaborate, stunning wedding ring.

You scrutinized it, bringing it closer to your eyes so you could examine it further. You brought it with you into the living room, placing it gently on the small kitchen counter, before looking in the mini fridge for something to eat. When you again realized that there was nothing in this room because you rented it when you were drunk, you had no food, no clothes, and no currency. You called room service anyway, telling them that you were a Starfleet officer and that the tab could be charged as a work expense. After all, your extra day was Jim’s doing, therefore making it Starfleet’s problem. They could deal with a $25 breakfast.

It wasn’t that much later when a young Risan knocked on your door to present an elaborate meal. (Maybe it would be a little more than $25) You thanked her and promised that a tip would be included on the bill since you didn’t have any Risan cash money. She left in a hurry after that and you sighed, pouring yourself some of the pinkish drink from the pitcher into a glass and walking out onto the balcony. You sighed at the beautiful view, wondering how the hell your drunk self had gotten this room, and your thoughts wandered back to the shimmering silver ring resting in your palm. You couldn’t have gotten married, could you?

Accidentally getting married to one of your closest friends would have been enough to deal with, but a stranger? You didn’t know if you could deal with that. You heaved another sigh, placing the delicate piece of jewelry into the robe pocket and settling into the plush chair. You decided you would figure it out later. For now, you wanted to enjoy the killer view and the sweet breeze before you had to face anything.

_________________

Leonard woke up in a strange bed, with next to no clothes on. He didn’t know where he was, or who he was with, or even what had happened the night before; all he could think about was his throbbing head and the fact that he might have had a one night stand.

The lump next to him was turned away from him, knocked out cold, tangled in the sheets and snoring softly. He slipped off the bed and found his pants, maneuvering around to the other side in hopes he would see who he had (possibly) slept with, but her face was obscured from view besides the mop of hair spewing out from the covers. He moved to pull the pillow away, but he stopped. He didn’t want to confront whoever it was if he woke her. That didn’t stop him from looking around the room for other clues, though. His eyes caught onto a peek of [f/c] fabric poking out from underneath the conforter, still slightly attatched to the wearer, and Leonard’s thoughts flashed to [y/n]. She had been wearing a [f/c] dress that night as well and the possibility that the hungover girl in front of him was her, but he quickly pushed the thought away. He didn’t want to deal with those feelings. His eyes wandered around a bit more as he shrugged his shirt on and he froze as a glittering piece of metal grabbed his attention.

Horror filled him as he held the intricate ring between his fingers, the possibility that he slept with a married woman dawning on him. He quickly placed the ring back where he had found it and hurried out from the room, running his fingers through his hair to make it seem less messy but making it worse. He buckled his belt in the elevator and smoothed the wrinkles out of the black tee he had decided to wear. In his hurry to leave he missed one crucial detail.

The silver band he wore on his left hand, matching the one he had found on the bedside table.

He could remember that he had gone with all of the senior officers to the crowded bar, and he remembered the dress [y/n] wore. Oh, that dress, with the seemingly modest frame from the front but if she had turned just slightly, the slit traveling up her thigh just enough, and the open back that exposed her smooth skin; it was all enough to make his mouth water all over again. The thought occurred to him again that the woman in the room might’ve been her, but he thrust it away a second time. There were plenty of women wearing that color that night, not that he would rather be with one of them. Part of him hoped that it was you, but then returned to the ring and all bets were off. She wasn’t married to anyone.

Not until last night at least.

________________

The next morning, you felt ten times better than the day before. You tidied up a little bit before leaving, placing the Risan cash on the table that you had gotten from the ATM in the lobby for the polite Risan waitress and the housekeepers. You also paid for the robe, which was what you wore over your open-backed dress in the chilly morning. You absent-mindedly fiddled with the ring in your pocket, slipping it on without thinking. You pressed your other hand onto the scanner as you walked through security to get back onto the ship, not even sparing a second glance to the screen that displayed your name. The security guard’s gaze snapped up to look at you curiously, but before you could understand why you were already walking up the skywalk back into the ship. You hastily made your way to your quarters to change, but bumped into Jim.

“Hey [y/n], back so soon?” he shot you a knowing glance and you rolled your eyes.

“Hold your horses, Jimmy. I woke up alone yesterday,” you assured him, sidestepping the captain and continuing forward.

“You sure about that?” he slid into step next to you, nudging your shoulder lightly. “Bones came back early yesterday morning-”

You took a sharp turn, interrupting him. He caught back up with you.

“Trust me, Jim,” you began, stopping in front of your quarters. “Leonard would never sleep with me. Plus, I have more pressing matters to deal with.”

You flashed the ring to him as the doors closed, Jim’s eyes widening before the metal hissed shut in his face. You breathed out in relief, calling the computer to bring the lights up to 75% as you slid out of your robe and dress to hop into the shower. You took the ring off and set it on the counter before slipping into the warm spray.

Ten minutes later, you stepped out and tugged on your uniform, walking out of the bathroom while toweling out your hair. You also put the ring back on, twirling it absent-mindedly as you made your way to the bridge for duty. The turbolift hissed open and you strode out to your station. You started prepping before you felt someone come up behind you.

“This is for you, Mrs. McCoy,” Jim sneered, holding the small package in front of you. Your eyes widened and suddenly, it all came crashing back down on you.

_____________

You sat at the bar, several shot glasses littered around you as you guffawed with a stranger who had just bought another round. You could barely hear or see anything, you were so drunk, and suddenly the man wasn’t there anymore. You looked around curiously, and that's when you noticed he was replaced with a familiar face.

Leonard.

He took your face into his hands and pressed his mouth to yours roughly, letting it escalate as you responded immediately. You made out for a while before he pulled away.

“I’m in love with you,” he slurred, caressing your cheek. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you replied, grabbing his hand and stumbling out from the bar. You had found a small pawn shop that was selling stolen jewelry, but you and Leonard didn’t care. You quickly bought the rings and rushed over to a small place that resembled the Little Vegas Chapel, and you were married. It had gotten a little heated on your way out, so you both ran to the nearest resort and booked a room. You both stumbled in, kicking off your shoes. You were kissing again, and Leonard was fumbling for your zipper as you crawled onto the bed. His hands roamed over your body, resting dangerously over your ass-

You snapped yourself out of your reverie as the memories trickled in, heat blooming in your face.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, eyes flicking back down to the ring on your left hand.

“Did you just...” Leonard’s voice caused you to freeze as you turned around, ring in plain sight. His eyes zeroed onto it, slowly moving from his hand to yours over and over again. “Oh no.”

By now, you had attracted the attention of most of the bridge crew, all eyes on you and Leonard. He suddenly grabbed your hand and practically dragged you into the turbolift, pausing it as it started to move.

“[y/n], I’m so sorry,” was the first thing he said, surprising you.

“For what?” you asked. “I’m not mad about this.”

“You’re not?” he looked at you quizzically. “[y/n] we got married and we haven’t even had our first date yet. I took advantage of you-”

“No, you didn’t,” you insisted, placing your hand on his arm. “Len, what happened the other night; I wanted it. I wanted you. Drunk or not.”

He seemed to loosen up a bit, but he was still tense.

“Okay,” he said slowly, smiling lightly. “I wanted it too, but we still have this marriage problem..”

“Don’t worry about that,” you smirked cheekily. “I quite like being Mrs. McCoy.”

He returned your sly grin, sending chills up your arms. “Do you now?”

Your smile faltered a little at the predatory look in his eyes, adrenaline and excitement raising the hairs on your arms. He ran his hands up your body, resting them on your cheeks as he pulled you in for a sweet kiss.

He pulled away too quickly for your liking, eyes boring into yours.

“I quite like it too.”

#star trek #leonard mccoy #bones mccoy #star trek fanfiction #star trek reader inserts #star trek x reader #leonard mccoy x reader #leonard mccoy fanfoiction #leonard mccoy fanfiction #leonard mccoy imagines #star trek imagines #bones mccoy fanfiction #bones mccoy x reader #bones mccoy imagines #bones mccoy reader inserts

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paramounticebound · 4 years

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Send me a symbol for five times… || ☁ five times my muse has thought about yours, and the one time they do something about it. || @fasciinating || accepting.

i. He thinks that he might die between the pages of an ancient tome, covered in dust mites that eat away at him until he is nothing left but bones and faded conquest. This time, the secrets of fallen deities whisper to him, lead him further astray, though his physical form is rooted graciously in the quiet library. Yes, he’ll prefer to die here instead of in ruins. That seems more graceful, if not melancholic and entirely unrealistic. This is a gift, he knows, a privilege in the infinite rule of the digital era. A one-time opportunity. He wonders, briefly, what Spock would think of him, wasting away in a tomb of paper and ink instead of preparing for the upcoming rescue mission. Not logical, he answers his own question with the slight upturn of his lips– it’s gone as soon as he realizes it. Strange days, and strange thoughts, for a strange mission.

ii. Loneliness is frigid.

How mistaken he was, as a boy, to believe it nothing beyond a sense of emptiness and lacking. That is untrue: to be alone is to be frozen twice, drowning in a Russian winter; at the mercy of the self, and at the mercy of the world. Banshees, these are, that scream when it’s silent and there’s nothing left to guard the sense of self. Khan realizes his foolishness as often as it arises: just enough to sting.

It’s when he stares out of small viewport, watching the stars pass by like snow, languidly splayed on his uncomfortable cot, that he defeats selfishness.

Is it comparable to his first officer? How the other man steers away from contact, from warmth; is it loneliness? Or is Spock simply better adept to the cold jaunt between worlds? Is it within the captain’s rights to lament his own trembling fingers and the pressure that wells?

Maybe it’s best not to think about it at all.

iii. The piano is an escape, and one that he will never admit to. Here in the privacy of his room– such a loose term, it disgusts him– is where he deigns to forget and pretend and sacrifice self-destructive tendencies in favour of classical composition. Or rather it’s the love of expression, for even Khan believes in more than building empires and exacting revenge. Wagner’s Sonata in A Flat lazily floats through the room, clings to the ceiling, crawls up his spine until it’s not quite so rigid. He wonders, briefly and perhaps three minutes, fifteen seconds in, if someone might find his devotion to the key impressive.

Perish the thought. It’s irrelevant.

iv. His fingers grasp at one of Khan’s fists until he opens it, the warmth of his body and the warmth of his blood uniting with the other’s. Something slithers down his spine, something that gnaws on each vertebrae until the captain is certain the jagged bones might break through his skin.

The warmth is like electricity, flowing from Spock’s touch to the pit of his stomach, lower, lower. Recalling this need, this after-battle release is toxic, it’s heavy. The weight threatens to sink him into the ground, where he might fall to his knees just to have it, just to taste–

A fire licks at him, teases until he suppresses it. This is the fourth time that he nearly loses control, and it always coincides with the stardate, and it’s because he’s damaged.

Khan is sure that his pupils are reptilian, animalistic, when his mouth refuses to betray him. Another bodily betrayal is all that he does not need right now– not even for his first officer.

His throat is a desert while he pulls his hand from Spock’s, conscious to disconnect the wires that shape his savage, primal nature. The captain, he can’t, not right now, not knowing that this is a gesture of comfort when he mourns and he can wash away the tarnish that he brings. He can’t and it makes him ache.

Khan leaves first, with something like a thank you on his lips, he’s too quick to vanish, leaving Spock confused– curious.. Only when he is in the safe haven of his quarters, out of sight from the curious gaze of his crew, does he remember to breathe. In the darkness of his room, haunting and empty, does he allow himself to burn.

v. It’s sometime between the death of Rand and the way that McCoy looks at him, like he’ll flay him apart, as if his madness is tangible. Perhaps it is and everyone can see it. Pulling apart at the seams that still hold him together., fraying, splintering. Khan is burning, slowly, feels his flesh singe after every agonizing second, each day, each week that passes and they are doomed to survive near this catastrophe of a ship.

He’s trying to eat. It isn’t because he’s hungry, his body hasn’t been signalling to his brain correctly in days, but he knows that three– five?– days is too long. It’s not much, just a small portion of the dwindling rations, and it sticks to his throat, refusing to sink to his stomach. Nausea is the first thing he feels in a long while, something aside from sadness and the longing for the dead; it bests him.

Fingers interlocked in hair, pulling, tugging, anything to feel something else, eyes pressed shut so tightly that he can see the explosion of veins, stars against the darkness. There’s a tapping near him, knuckles against glass, and he knows better than to look. Even Spock, with his infinite restraint, hasn’t been able to hide the concern. Failing, falling apart; a failure. Loss is as infinite as the darkness between the stars. The captain is a cacophony of the things that don’t let him sleep, or eat, or think. For the first time in his life, his stone heart is weighing more than Khan down; he longs for the cold logic in interlocked fingers. His atoms yearn for it.

There’s a handprint on the glass, and he knows it’s not on the inside. His food has gone cold.

vi. He’ll be a tidal wave, crashing into everything until everything is as ravaged as he is, an ugly thunder, the ash of a volcano invading lungs. Sometimes his darkness is not confined to the solitary hell within him, sometimes the fire that lives in the marrow of his bones cannot be contained. Sometimes Khan Noonien Singh is weak. At the mercy of his own vices, only enough liquor to paint his lips– he knows what he’s doing. He isn’t any braver for it, only more likely to shed his skin just enough for his secrets to seep out, into his eyes, onto his tongue.

The captain pores over his own misgivings first over the cold steel of his desk. Duties are proving difficult, paperwork forgotten (and who is there to chide him in the depths of space?) – like an itch, near his skin, just over it. He feels hot. It’s a stark contrast to the constant threat of chill over his bones.

Maybe– no one will notice. It’s too late, and no one else is adverse to sleep.

As Khan strides through the corridor, the work on his desk forgotten for now and likely for a long while, he drags the tips of his fingers along the wall. The uneven surface reminds him to rejoice over jagged sensations, the cut of glass, shrapnel six clicks away from what should have been home. He’s haunted, and likewise a phantom, but the whiskey should have cured that.

Sometimes alternate cures are better than hypos, sometimes he knows what he’s thinking. It’s the fury in the pit of his belly, at the base of his spine. Knocking on Spock’s door impatiently, the dim light of his quarters just enough to reveal a mildly perplexed raise of the eyebrow.

Captain–

The word sinks between them as the captain captures the other man’s mouth with his, pushing him back into his room, fingers interlocking. He practically hisses his need against a jawline, against the hollow of a throat. Teeth and tongue and a wayward hand pushing up the fabric of a shirt. He doesn’t listen to the door close behind them.

Sometimes, Khan is not in control of the situation.

#fasciinating #verse: hell is only a word; the reality is much much worse (event horizon.)#ot3 if u squint #anyway i GUESS 4 is doing something about that but i didn't write it out so i'm innocent #nsfw-ish //

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filthysweetie · 4 years

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star trek drabble

Prompt: “good thing i didn’t ask for your opinion.”

Day 16! Note, there’s description of a broken bone in this one (not super gory)

———

This wasn’t their smartest decision; directly disobeying Starfleet command (again) and beaming down to the planet’s surface to inoculate the plant life (and the inhabitants only source of food) against a bacteria infection that would leave them devastated and starving—without the security of food shipments from warp capable civilizations. He calls it ‘their’ decision, because none of his bridge crew had called him out on it or argued after he’d declared their plans. Which was great, because he wasn’t about to leave this one up for debate. The bacteria was the same that had devastated Tarsus IV and he wasn’t about to let anyone stop him from helping.

The surface was idyllic; greenery (and blue-ery due to the high anthocyanin levels) in every direction, clear purple skies, there was even a rushing river ahead who’s source was their target.

“Based on our scans, this water source feeds more than 3/4ths of the planets singular landmass.” Spock says, barely looking up from his data pad as he starts towards the water.

“Wish we could just crop dust the darn things,” Jim mumbles to himself knowing exactly why they can’t have a flying craft sprinkle the component over the land—and more importantly the peoples—of a non-warp capable planet. While cropdusting would have gotten a higher percentage of the plant life, it would have also irrevocably impacted the peoples, and Jim was already anticipating the lecture he’s going to get from Starfleet command when they notice the Enterprise is still hovering over Lima VIII when told explicitly to make their way to the Echo quadrant. He follows after Spock, not even half as graceful even though he’s actually watching his steps.

“This will get the most populous regions,” Sulu says sympathetically though he’s not looking at any of them, instead staring with shiny eyes at the plants all around them, “their main cities and habitats are around the water sources.”

“Right,” Jim sighs, “which means that we have to be even more careful as we get to the source.”

“Because there’s always something looking to kill us.” Bones grumbles.

Jim can’t help but smile at Bones’ familiar grumbling—no matter where they were in the galaxy, there were some constants, “I told you, you didn’t have to come, we need a botanist, not a doctor.”

Bones snorts, “knowing your fool self, you always need a doctor.” Jim can’t say much to that.

They get through the foliage and towards the lest populated side of the water source—an absolutely huge lake fed by underground springs. They were on the only cliffside of the water, making it the only area that wasn’t teeming with settlements, both permanent and transient. It was beautiful. And it was going to stay that way, if Jim had any say in it.

“Alright, give me the gun.” Jim turns to Spock; gun isn’t exactly accurate, as those stopped being used well before Jim’s birth, but it was so reminiscent of those crude old time weapons that Jim couldn’t help it. It was also much easier to say than ‘antibacterial triggered projectile device’.

“You will need to aim at the center of the water for the most effective transfer of the component.” Spock says, handing over the device. He’d given up trying to get Jim to say it right a while ago. Jim tries not to grunt at the device’s weight—Vulcan strength is an unfair advantage.

Jim shoulders it and takes a step closer to the edge and then he’s on the ground.

————

Bones is kneeling over him, cursing. Spock has Jim half propped up against him, touching him much more than must be comfortable for the Vulcan, and Sulu is stepping back out of the foliage, phaser drawn and at the ready.

“It wasn’t manned.” Sulu says, keeping out of the way but clearly worried.

“How…” Jim looked down and feels ice run through his veins, “oh.” His leg is—shattered. There’s no other word for it. There’s a spear sticking out through his calf and it—it hit bone and won. Someone had torn away his pant leg and the skin was already purpling from internal bleeding and bruising. It looked so fundamentally wrong; Jim let his head fall back against Spock’s arm, nauseous. He doesn’t feel pain—he’s not sure if it’s shock or something Bones gave him or some mind magic that Spock’s doing.

“Don’t you fucking pass out you idiot.” Bones curses him, “‘don’t need a doctor’ my fucking ass.” He’s doing something—Jim can feel a pressure against his leg but he doesn’t dare move, and tries hard to focus on anything else. Spock’s shirt has a tiny loose thread. Very out of place for the meticulous first officer. Jim wants to cut it off.

“I need to get him back to the Enterprise.” Bones says, and he’s talking over Jim to Spock.

“They won’t be able to beam us up from here, we need to get back to the clearing.”

“Well lets fucking go!”

“Did ya get th’ stuff in the water?”

“I’m seeing movement—I think there was some kind of alert on the trap, there’s a group mobilizing.” Sulu says, eyes on the edges of the lake.

“Get it in the water—we need to—get it in.” Jim can’t leave with that not done. Sulu looks back at them for a moment; Spock nods. Sulu stows his phaser and grabs the gun, staying further from the edge than where Jim had stood. He gets one shot off. The recoil shakes the ground and Jim feels his muscles seize. The pain is starting to make its way through the shock. He lets out a harsh breath and tries to force himself to relax. Easier said than done.

Spock looks to the left, “I can hear them coming.”

“Get the other shots off, Sulu.” Jim gets out. There are two more that need to be in that water, otherwise this is all for nothing. Sulu nods, face stern, and resets, pulling the trigger again. The same wave of pain goes through Jim and Bones sticks him with something.

“That’s all I got—we need to get you back, now.”

Jim shakes his head; “There’s one more.”

Bones turns to Sulu, he can hear the incoming group too now, “well? Hurry it up!”

Sulu resets as fast as he can—but the incoming party heard the noise of the second shot too and they’re getting closer, faster. Sulu will be able to get it off, but they won’t be able to get back to the clearing fast enough to avoid the indigenous people, not with Jim as deadweight.

“Hey—hey you know what I think?” Jim can feel the slur in his voice—he reaches out a hand to Bones and puts his other on Spock’s arm, “I think you should go.”

Bones is splinting his leg with a branch, wrapping it with his torn pant, “Well, isn’t it a damn good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion on the fucking matter.” Each movement is fire up his leg and through his spine.

“I must agree with Dr. McCoy on this, Captain” Spock speaks calmly into Jim’s shoulder.

“Don’t sound so defeated over it Mr. Spock.” Bones ties the last of the fabric to the backdrop of Sulu’s final shot.

Jim gets out a laugh that makes both blue shirts look back at him with varying levels of worry. Sulu secures the gun to his back, he has that same look and Jim decides he doesn’t like it at all.

“This will hurt.” Spock says and then Jim’s being lifted up. God it hurts so much—Jim bites his lip as hard as he can to keep from screaming. He tastes copper. —— He wakes up in medbay and can help grinning. “We did it then?” Bones scoffs, “yeah you crazy bastard, we did it.”

#star trek #spock #James T. Kirk #sulu #bones #Leonard McCoy #broken bone #drabble on #i fancy myself a writer

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speedygal · 6 years

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Part 3

“How does it feel to wear the Starfleet insagnia?” Tilly asked, coming from behind Burnham in their shared quarters.

Burnham’s two way mirror stared back at her mimicking the movement.

“Strange,” Burnham said.

Strange was a understatement.

Burnham was in a yellow turtle neck shirt that had the replicated Starfleet insignia on her chest. It felt like a mock up rather than the actual piece of metal. The weight against the side of her chest. The cold, smooth golden symbol. Georgiou’s Fleet badge was in her hand when Burnham shifted toward Tilly. She felt along the soft, fine fabric that felt easy enough to rip off with a single pull. it felt warm placed against her skin. Tilly was in a sparkling two piece outfit with a sparkling sun emblem on her chest. The sparkling outfit looked better on her than the familiar blue and beige outfit. The thick pants were very comfortable against Burnham’s figure not uptight and figure fitting.

“You look gorgeous,” Tilly said

“I believed I would never see myself as a officer,”

“You are a officer,” Tilly said.

“Tilly,” Burnham said.

“What?” Tilly asked.

“It wasn’t taken through the proper channels,” Burnham said. “I have not truly been pardoned of my crime.”

“You deserve it,” Tilly lightly tapped on Burnham’s nose. “For all you did,” Tilly cupped the side of Burnham’s cheeks then planted a kiss on her nose tipping her head forward toward her. “Going to a Klingon ship? That is the most courageous and risky thing just to save a planet from a bunch of grumpy army ants that call themselves Klingons.”

Burnham let herself have a smile just for this moment feeling her girlfriend’s hand placed on her shoulders.

Captain Saluuk appeared on the transporter pad flanked by Commander Rainford while Lieutenant Commander Stemmel was left behind in command of the Discovery. Burnham mentally narrated to herself observing the simple but advanced transporter room that was colorful. Captain Pike and Commander Una stood side by side in matching yellow turtle necks with delta badges stitched into their outfits and in dark long bottoms. Burnham observed the room was mainly purple with a light gray theme and a red third color. They stepped down the stair steps to the transporter padd. She observed the staggeringly different corridors that felt simple and low tech but enough so that it felt that she were walking in another time.

They came into the conference room that was otherwise occupied by many officers. There were two Vulcan officers on the senior staff, one of them was in a red shirt and the other was in a blue shirt. They both had thick eyebrows but only one of them had the vulcan bowl hair cut that Burnham had seen in her time on Vulcan growing up. The other one had a human hair style. Saru noticed that they had their insignias on the left side of their chest. There was a well aging man, it had to be Doctor Philip Boyce, the chief medical officer of the USS Enterprise. There was a red head man sitting at the table. The human Vulcan had curled but very pointed ears that stood out compared to the very Vulcan individual who’s ears didn’t stand out as much as the human Vulcan. The human Vulcan had to be Spock.

The table was smaller but had enough chairs to surround it with a small square tv set at the front end of it. When Burnham sat down into one of them, she felt at bliss and very comfortable in the white chair. There was a strange computer set in front on the side in front of the very Vulcan individual.. Her shields remained high to prevent her thoughts from slipping out. Pike sat beside the engineer with Spock beside the very Vulcan engineer. Burnham retained a very Vulcan demeanor compared to Spock who had a curious gaze on his face tilting his head at the slightest oddity and seemed intrigued looking on toward Saru.

“What planet are you from, Captain Saluuk?” Pike asked.

“Kelpia,” Saru replied.

“Never heard of it,” Pike said.

“You mean to say it has never been discovered,” Spock added.

“Or we overlooked it,” Pike said.

“You are a very interesting individual,” Spock commented. “Your promotion to captain must have been very surprising.”

“It has been for the most part,” Saru looked toward the arm bands around Spock’s wrist. “Lieutenant.”

“This is Mr Spock.” Pike said.

“Ambassador Sarek’s son,” Burnham said

“Have we met?” Spock inquired.

“It is public knowledge that you are S’chn T’gai Spock of the house of T’Pau,” Burnham said. “Where I am from, my parents moved to Vulcan and raised me there as Vulcans and I got along better than I did with humans.”

“We have recently ended a war with the Klingons,” Saru said. “Where we are from, they are sometimes blue without hair and have large forehead crests and wear armor.”

“The last time Starfleet had a encounter with the Klingons was years ago,” Pike said. “That was in orbit. Territorial dispute.”

“Did you have to start a war?” Burnham inquired.

“A battle but never a war,” Pike said. “we lost good people.”

“A lot of people died,” Una replied.

Saru knew the woman with dark hair had to be Una. She had a demeanor that was highly unforgettable. Restraining of her emotions, professional, and very clear unlike Burnham who was letting her emotions guide her, professional to a point, and blunt. She was like a proto-Vulcan when it came to it. The dark curls resting on her shoulders. Saru admired her.

“How many people died from the battle that started a war?” Pike asked.

There was dead silence in the air.

“Eight thousand,” Tyler said, finally. “I was there when it happened.”

“I tried to stop the officer who started it from finishing what he started,” Rainford said.

“I had to bring back Commander Rainford alone,” Saru added.

“I was captured and tortured for six months in a Klingon prison,” Tyler said.

“Until Captain Lorca broke him out,” Saru said.

“We had to relieve him of duty because he was consumed by stress,” Tyler said.

“He is locked in his quarters on sedatives,” Burnham agreed.

Yes, he was locked in his quarters for the time being under Saru’s command.

“Commander Rainford and Commander Tyler went on to end the war with our help getting some of the cloaking device technology,” Saru said. “/We attacked from inside the cloak, retrieved our officer, then fled leaving a exploding Klingon vessel behind. We were prepared to return on one last ump when our coordinates were changed by Captain Lorca instead of Starbase 1, he picked a different course, he picked one that wasn’t our universe. The chair indicates that it was a intentional switch. He didn’t want to part with the ship and we fear that he is not who he says he is. For that reason, we request to tear off the new technology from the ship and leave it bare enough that it cannot be replicated to rush your advancement.”

Pike nodded,

“You are certain that it cannot be replicated,” Pike said.

“Very certain,” Saru replied.

“You have three weeks to start the progress on any out of the ordinary technology and replace it with tech that doesn’t stand out as odd,” Pike said. “Starfleet command needs all the ships it can get to explore space. We are very young compared to your grown up and matured Starfleet. You can start with a tour of this vessel.”

“Captain,” Saru replied. “This is a Crossfield class. Not all starships are the same.”

“How do you think with a fleet primarily running on rare dilithium crystals happen to stay intact?” Pike asked. “Constitution classes are the kinds you don’t easily get a hole in. Starfleet must have made this ship ready for deep space travel like this.”

“No,” Saru said. “This was rushed for the war.”

“But we can try to pass ourselves off as a vessel in this universe from the interior,” Tyler said.

“It is not like we are going to have visitors,” Saru said.

“We don’t know how often visitors just beam themselves over,” Tyler said. “Must happen a lot here.”

“Affirmative,” Spock replied. “It is a annoyance it occurs.”

“And they will notice,” Pike said. “I will send the message to Starfleet about your arrival and hopefully keep your ship out of everyone’s eyes until we can find a safe way of sending everyone home and have everything put back where it belongs in the next year. If we’re being optimistic about it.”

Saru glanced from Tyler to Burnham.

“We would like to have that tour,” Saru said.

“Good,” Pike said. “Number one, give them a tour.”

#my fic

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samingtonwilson · 7 years

Text

Marriage Material - Part 6 - Jim Kirk

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

Summary: in this chapter, it isn’t rational for jim to say something– but he really, really wants to.

Warnings: language

A/N: part of me was like “is this too soon??” then i realized it’s part 6 and it’s never too soon considering the character history.

It’d been two weeks since your marriage to Jim and, though most the crew took a liking to your pairing instantly, Uhura had yet to speak to you. Jim said her anger was rooted in your secrecy, your lack of self-disclosure when Uhura would have disclosed everything she’d ever felt and gone through to you. She told you she might marry Spock on that trippy, neon light covered planet and you offered nothing in return aside from a nervous smile and a disingenuous thumbs up.

However, it wasn’t as if this secrecy was a brand new trait. You never had a propensity for self-disclosure. You thought, as your friend, Uhura would have understood and accepted that. According to Jim, that didn’t matter, this was too big an occurrence to hide from her— he said she might have understood and accepted your tendency to not express every fleeting emotion you had, but you hid a relationship, a seemingly serious relationship with a man she didn’t even know you were crushing on, and you married him without even the slightest consultation. He said she was hurt.

Rationally, you couldn’t have expressed your serious relationship to her— there was no relationship preceding your marriage to Jim which was also a spur of the moment, drunken decision. But you couldn’t tell her that, you couldn’t tell anyone aside from Jim and Leonard that. And while the latter suggested letting her in on the little secret, the former objected on the grounds of her relationship with Spock. One slip of her tongue and the truth of your marriage would be brought before the admiralty because “Vulcans cannot lie” and, apparently, the other half of Spock was a huge pushover.

So, as you sat beside Jim in the mess hall with your fingers laced together, you had no one to complain to about the corniness. You wanted to roll your eyes at Uhura when Jim proposed eating out of one tray rather than two because it was “more romantic” and you wanted to scoff at her when he suggested sitting beside each other rather than across from one another.

For a moment you thought you could tell Leonard, you could roll your eyes at him and scoff at him, but that moment ended as soon as you saw the smug smile on his face each time he spotted your hand joined with Jim’s, your waist held by Jim, your steps in perfect harmony with Jim’s. He was loving it and you couldn’t call him out anywhere other than the confines of the medbay where your volume had to be low enough to not be heard by any third parties.

This sudden inability to express your emotions caused you more dissonance than you’d ever experienced. Sure, you never had the desire to express any such things before— but you had the option. It was this loss of option, the introduction of inability caused by an external force that made your head hurt and your teeth clench.

You pulled on Jim’s hand when Uhura’s large almond shaped eyes met yours. You looked at him immediately and scooted so close that your noses would bump if he moved a centimeter. “She’s here.”

Without looking up from his dinner, Jim asked in a thick voice, “And?”

You pulled on his hand again and sighed when his nose hit yours as he met your gaze. You watched his eyes widen at your proximity, his mouth ceasing in all chewing. “I don’t want to be here when she is.”

He swallowed. “You can’t hide every time you see her. S’not like she’s doing anything.”

You tilted your head, glancing at the crewmembers staring at you. You decided to move even closer to him, one of your hands on his chest and your other arm wrapped over his shoulders as you turned your body towards his fully. You kept your eyes in his, the plane of your nose touching the plane of his.

“They’re looking at us,” you explained when he raised his thick eyebrows questioningly.

He nodded and glanced at your lips for a split second that he hoped you didn’t notice.

“She is doing something,” you said softly, your forehead leaning against his. “She’s making me feel bad.”

He hummed, picking his head up to press his lips to your forehead. He sighed and you suppressed the desire to hold him there. “You should feel bad.”

You sat back but kept your hands on him. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You married someone without telling her.”

“I couldn’t tell her!” you whisper-yelled, watching a corner of his lips struggle against a smile in reaction. “Rationally, I—”

“S’not a situation where rationality works.” He looked down at your fingers when you began pinching and smoothing the command gold fabric of his uniform. “It’s irrational, it’s objectively not true, but, in Uhura’s eyes, this is your fault. You didn’t share something huge with her.”

You rolled your eyes and took your hands away, suddenly hoping you had something to keep your fingers occupied. You looked away, you focused on his tray, on the overhead lights reflected in the tables, on the replicators several yards away. “You say that every time I complain.”

“Starlight, —”

“I know, I know. You’re just trying to help,” you practically groaned, pulling the tray toward yourself. You took a small bunch of grapes and popped one in your mouth. “Just stop helping. Just listen to me and say ‘That sucks, starlight, I’m sorry that’s happening.’’”

He smiled as he watched you frown at the grapes. “That sucks, starlight. I’m sorry this is happening.”

You smiled a little and nodded once. “There we go. Getting closer to that husband of the year prize every minute.”

He took the small bowl of grapes off the tray and motioned for you to follow him as he rose from the table. “What’s the prize?”

You kept the bowl in your hand, chomping on grapes as you walked through the commissary and kept your eyes away from where you knew Uhura sat. “There has to be a good prize?”

He frowned in consideration and nodded as he took your free hand in his, lacing your fingers together and pulling you into his side. “Otherwise what’s the incentive?”

You passed the bowl with three remaining grapes to an unsuspecting Chekov and winked at him when he looked at you with a snort and roll of his green eyes. “Isn’t making your wife happy enough incentive, mio marito?”

He frowned in consideration once more. “I guess it is.”

“You guess it is?” you snorted. “You could stand to be more convincing.”

He laughed a bit, pulling you through the corridor and into waiting empty turbolift.

You took your hand from his as soon as the turbolift shut, running your fingers through your hair and leaning against the back wall. You watched at the decks flew by and unsuccessfully tried to ignore Jim’s gaze fixated on you.

You needed to move, pushing off the wall and pacing in the small space. You decided on a safe conversation topic. “Wh-What if Uhura never speaks to me again?”

He tilted his head. “I don’t know.”

“What if she decides we can’t be friends anymore? Because I kept this huge secret after she told me about wanting to marry Spock.”

“I don’t know.”

“I can’t not have Uhura. It’s not like I’m a needy person,” you continued, coming to a stop in front of him and stifling a sigh when he placed his hands on your shoulders. You tried, unsuccessfully once more, to ignore the depth in the blue of his eyes. “I just— I like having the option of speaking to someone, even if I never take that option. I just want it there.”

He heard the door slide open, motioned with a small shake of his head to the waiting crewmembers and, when the door slid shut again, he nodded at you. “That’s understandable. But you can— You have me to talk to. About things other than Uhura, I mean.”

You nodded, dropping your gaze once more. The blue was too much, the realization of it all was too much, the beating in your chest was too much. “I know, I have—” You looked around the turbolift and stepped away from Jim. “Are we on our deck? We’re on our deck. Why haven’t the doors—”

With a deep breath, he reached over to press the button beckoning the doors to open. He nodded towards the hallway stretching before you. “Come on.”

You followed him out, crossing your arms over your chest. You narrowed your eyes at the brightness surrounding you and frowned openly for the first time in what felt like eons but was really the hour you spent eating dinner in front of the crew.

“You have Bones, too.”

You looked up from your boots at Jim as he fussed with the control panel for your shared quarters. “What?”

“Bones— you have him, too,” he replied, walking through the door once it slid open. “If you’re not comfortable speaking to me and feel Uhura’s absence, you have Bones.”

“With the way he’s been using my secrets against me these last couple of days, I’d rather—” You shook your head and unzipped your left boot, tossing it aside as you felt Jim’s eyes on you. “Never mind.”

“You know, we’re married.”

“Really?” you asked, raising your eyebrows as you tossed your other boot aside and started working on the zipper of your dress. “I thought this was just an extended sleepover.”

He rolled his eyes and undid the quarter-zip on the back of his own uniform. He stripped it off easily, leaving the black undershirt behind. “I just mean we’re married, we should talk to each other.”

“Oh my God, am I imagining these conversations? I thought we were talking, that I keep hearing your voice and mine, but it might be in my head.”

“Hilarious,” he mumbled dryly, scowling as you passed him and walked into the bathroom, cotton t-shirt in hand. He leant against the frame beside the shut door and heard fabric fall to the ground. “You can tell me things.”

“I do tell you things.”

He sighed. “Barely. You start to tell me things, then stop. Even that night in Bones’ office. I kept waiting for you to say something, but you didn’t.”

“Something about what?”

“About anything— anything that didn’t have to do with you not wanting my apartment.”

When the door slid open, you walked out in one of his cotton shirts and a pair of shorts so short that they couldn’t be seen beyond the t-shirt’s hemline. You offered him a small smile and he felt something falter in his chest. “I’m telling you about Uhura.”

“And nothing aside from that.”

“It’s easier to keep certain things from you.”

“Can’t hear that enough.”

You snorted a laugh, looking away as he tossed his trousers with the rest of his dirty clothes and slipped on a pair of sweatpants. “This marriage is a public thing. If we treat it like a real marriage, things could get complicated, and messy, and— It could burst this comfortable bubble.”

“So you’ve run every scenario through your head already?”

You shrugged a shoulder and opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off with an added, “Every negative scenario through your head, I mean.”

“I’m not being negative.”

“You’re being negative, starlight,” he said, sitting beside you at the edge of the bed and practically forcing his eyes to yours with just his presence. “What’ll happen if we actually speak to each other? Complain to me about more than that damn apartment and losing Uhura, at least until you get her back.”

“Jim, we aren’t actually married—”

“Except that we are,” he pressed, shaking his head. “We’re married. We’re friends that are married to each other.”

You smiled a little. “Just like you said is ideal.”

“And I said it’s ideal because it means better communication, less pretense.” He took your hand in his and told himself your posture’s sudden tensing wasn’t due to him. “We live together. It’s easier to stand all that time alone together if we communicate. So talk to me.”

You sighed and narrowed your eyes at him. You looked over his features silently while he looked over yours expectantly. “I can’t just tell you things—”

“Even if you’re complaining about me, I want to hear it. S’what I’m here for.” He ran his palms down his lap. “Hell, talk to me about philosophy, ethics, law, Greek mythology, latest medical journals— I don’t care. If you have thoughts on something, I want to know them.”

You wet your lips. “Are you like this with all of your friends?”

“Just the one I’m married to.”

You laughed and shook your head. “I can’t just tell you things,” you repeated, looking away. “I could end up telling you too much. Once those floodgates open, who knows what’ll come out?”

“Who cares what’ll come out?” he asked with an incredulous, humorless laugh. “As long as you don’t tell me you have plans to murder me in my sleep, there’s nothing you can tell me that’ll mess this comfortable bubble up.”

“It’s a pretty bubble, though,” you nearly whispered. “It’s pink and iridescent.”

His smile could have broke your ribs to pieces. “Before we went to dinner, how was your day?”

You took a deep breath and narrowed your eyes skeptically at him. You took another deep breath. “Fine, I guess. One of the nurses keeps glaring at me— like, his eyes would shoot daggers if they could.”

“Why?”

You shrugged a shoulder. “Fuck if I know. It started after we got married so I think he’s got a thing for you.”

“Or a thing for you.”

“The former is much more likely.”

“Really?” he asked, raising a single eyebrow. “It’s easy to like you.”

“Yeah? Is misanthropy suddenly irresistible?”

He snorted. “You’re more than that.”

“Right. Is the combination of misanthropy, laughing too little and too loud, and being terribly sarcastic irresistible?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

“Well, it’s easier to like you,” you argued, smiling as you folded your legs atop the bed to face him entirely. “You’re basically the human embodiment of sunshine. Always warm, bright, shiny, beautiful—”

“You say that like you like me.”

“I do like you— I really, really like you,” you shrugged, still smiling a little.

It took less than a moment for your words to dawn on yourself. Your smile fell slowly and your teeth clamped down upon your tongue. You wanted to take it back, you wanted to maybe say you meant you liked him as a friend. But you didn’t. You looked away from him for a moment, swallowed over the thickness in your throat, and brought your eyes back to his.

You barely caught sight of the small blue ring around his wide pupils before he leaned towards you, your eyes shutting before your lips met in a kiss you didn’t know your chest needed in order to regain some form of a rhythm— albeit an extremely fast rhythm.

One of his hands found your waist and the other was placed on the mattress, leaning over you to force you onto your back with him on top of you. His hand then left your waist and helped you in detangling your legs so he could settle his body between them, everything in his chest, everything in his head suddenly incapacitated when you hitched your leg around his waist and your fingers combed through his hair.

When he broke the kiss and looked down into the eyes he’d looked into the night he slurred out wedding vows he meant but never planned on revealing, he had several things he wanted to say. But nothing seemed rational enough— and he knew of your need for rationality.

He couldn’t tell you he was in love with you— it wasn’t rational to be in love with you if you hadn’t dated, if you saw him as platonically as you said you did, if you hadn’t kissed until this moment.

He couldn’t tell you that with every passing day he found himself wishing the two of you could just stay married— it wasn’t rational to stay married when you both had a hazy memory of your wedding and how it was initiated, when you expressed you wanted a divorce and how much you missed being able to frown in public, when he realized it’d only been fourteen days and how short fourteen days were in the face of a lifetime.

And he couldn’t tell you there were things he wanted to tell you but couldn’t— it wasn’t rational to say there were things he couldn’t tell you as he wanted you to open up to him, as he pushed you to open up to him so he could see more of the heart he’d found a comfortable home in.

None of it was rational and each thing he could say melted away on his tongue, the same tongue that mingled with yours the instant your lips met again and he held you as close as humanly possible.

You broke the kiss this time, looking up into an ocean that could have drowned you if you let any of this go on. You took your hands from him. “Jim, I’m sorry—”

“No, no,” he said quickly, sitting back on his heels as you propped yourself up on your elbows. He offered you a small smile, a small smile that didn’t touch his eyes, a small smile that hurt his cheeks. “I’m sorry, I should have—”

“Yeah, but I shouldn’t have— I kissed you back and—”

He shook his head with a click of his tongue. “S’not on you, it’s on me.”

“Just— Let’s just forget about it,” you suggested, fully aware of the sudden weight on your chest and totally unaware of the weight on his. You smiled a little, all swollen lips and unaffected eyes. “We should sleep. I’ve got a long day of saving lives ahead of me and you’ve got a long day of keeping this metal death trap afloat.”

He watched you carefully before nodding. “Yeah, you’re right.”

PART 7

lil tag list: (tell me if you’d like to be tagged): @feelmyroarrrr @to-pick-ourselves-up-7@star-trekkin-across-theuniverse @webhoard @dirajunara @the-space-goddess-16@whiteandblackkeys @sugarshai @goodnightwife @anyakinamidala @iwillstaywiththemforever @majisean @bbparker @heyjess-marie @kirkaholic123

#BOOM BOOM BOOOOOOOOOOM #i'm still thinking it's too soon but they've had feelings for each other for ages #and we all know that #so maybe it's not too soon #whatever anyway #jim #jim kirk #jim kirk imagine #kirk imagine #jim kirk x reader #kirk x reader #star trek #star trek imagine #captain kirk #captain kirk imagine #captain kirk x reader #imagine kirk #imagine jim kirk #imagine me not being sick

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keyhsahla · 7 years

Note

4 and 103 spirk bitchhhhh

4: “Can I join you?”

103: “Don’t worry about it.”

(I’m sorry this is so long and bad and totally unedited)

Spock was warming to Earth.

It wasn’t beautiful in the way that home was beautiful. It didn’t have that untouched feeling that home did. Everything–including the plants–was domesticated here, and Spock didn’t like that.

The leaves, though–he did like the leaves. He liked the way the long corridor that wound toward the Academy doors was lined with the kind of trees that turned red in the fall and fell onto the sidewalk so it looked almost like Vulcan. He liked the crunch beneath his feet. He liked the way they could move so easily in the wind. He liked the way that, sometimes, when the wind was just right, the piles would shoot up and make a sort of leaf tornado. Seasons weren’t so dramatic on Vulcan. They didn’t get fallen leaves. They didn’t get the cold weather.

And lord, he was cold.

He pulled his coat tighter around his torso, trying to hide his chin and ears as best he could into the turned-up collar. Amanda, before he left the house, told him he needed to bring a scarf, but he shook his head at her and left without another word.

He really needed to listen to her more.

Kicking at the leaves in front of him, Spock curled into himself tighter and tried to hurry without making it too obvious that he was hurrying. He was warming to Earth but he certainly wasn’t ever warm anymore, and he missed that almost most of all. It had been a moderate temperature when he left the house, and in the Academy buildings it was certainly warm enough for Spock to shed his jacket and even the lighter sweater he had underneath and still be comfortable. But it got cooler while he was in class, and the bite of the wind attacked his cheeks quite ferociously as soon as he started moving toward the shuttle center.

He needed a hat, too. The pointed tips of his ears were especially sensitive to the cold, and–

Something like ice hit his neck and slowly slid down his neck. He jerked away from it, but it kept sliding until it soaked into the collar of his shirt. Rain. He knew it rained on Earth, but he’d only been here for a month or two, and he’d never experienced it.

Another drop hit him, this time on his nose. He wiped away the water, cringing. It was so much colder here. On Vulcan the rain was warm and came down in fast, heavy showers only once every couple months. Vulcans knew when the showers were coming and they always waited indoors until it was over. Spock never–

Another drop. Another. Spock had never found himself caught in the rain before. What was he supposed to do? The shuttle center was still several minutes away, and it was starting to rain harder. The water had already soaked through his coat and was starting to permeate his sweater. If he kept walking, he would have hypothermia by the time he got to the shuttle.

Spock considered his options quickly and then dove toward the nearest building, where the roof lip hung over the wall just enough to give Spock shelter. He’d made his decision in the nick of time; as soon as he stepped out of the rain, it began pouring, and he watched in dismay as water puddled on the pavement. He wasn’t going to get home anytime.

As Spock resigned himself to this, someone barreled down the corridor toward him. They weren’t wearing a jacket of any sort, which was alarming: they were just allowing their uniform to get soaked, and they didn’t seem to mind. They ran with a big smile on their face, holding some folders tucked under their arm. When they saw Spock, they pivoted toward him and stopped only a foot away. Spock could see every detail of their face, every tiny little freckle. Their jaw seemed both sharp and soft. Their eyes were beautifully, warmly brown and their smile was bright enough to light the sun.

“Hey!” When they shook water out of their hair, water droplets hit Spock’s face, but they didn’t apologize. Spock wasn’t sure they even noticed.

“Hello,” Spock said tentatively, pressing harder against the wall.

“Can I join you?” They grabbed the folders under their arm and lifted them toward Spock. “These are pretty important and I think I’m destroying them.”

“By all means.”

“Thanks.” They slid in next to Spock, so utterly drenched that as their uniform brushed against Spock’s arm he could see water spread over what little fabric had dried. “I’m Jim, by the way,” they said, and held out a hand. “Jim Kirk. He, him.”

“S’chn T’gai Spock,” Spock replied. “He, him as well.”

“You go by Spock?”

“Yes.”

Jim grinned. His two front teeth were crooked. “You been here long?”

“No. Is it obvious?”

Now Jim laughed. The laugh wracked his entire body. He threw his head back and let it roll through him, let it shake him to his core. Spock was fascinated. “Yeah, a little. You look terrified out of your wits.”

Spock lifted an eyebrow. “Vulcans do not–”

“Feel fear? Yeah, okay. I know what fear looks like on a person’s face.” Jim tucked the folders under his arm again and then slid his backpack off one strap of his shoulder. “I have a scarf in here, I think. And a hat, if you want? Vulcan’s a desert planet, right?”

“It is.”

Jim nodded. “You’re cold?”

“A little,” Spock admitted.

“Okay. Here.” He handed over both the scarf and the hat he’d mentioned: the scarf cadet-red, the hat dark gray. “Think that’ll work?”

Spock took them carefully. “You don’t mind?”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I don’t really get cold.” He closed his backpack and lifted one shoulder. “I go on a lot of walks, and it tends to rain a lot. I’m used to it. Besides. You need it more.”

Spock wrapped the scarf around his shoulder. It smelled like spices, like Jim had knitted it while simultaneously brewing a large pot of chai. The cap smelled the same, and he couldn’t help inhaling as he fit it over his ears. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

“No, really. Thank you.”

Jim looked at him in such a way that Spock almost felt him staring into his very soul. He had such a deep wisdom in his eyes. Spock wanted to search those eyes, wanted to look for something hidden in those depths. Somehow, he felt that he would find himself. “You’re welcome,” he said, and the moment broke. A smile quirked at the corner of his mouth. “You science?”

“Yes.” Spock touched the scarf. “This is commander gold.”

The smile spread across the rest of Jim’s lips. He really had no qualms about smiling, Spock thought. “That’s right,” Jim said. “I’m gonna be the captain of my own starship.” Then, just as quickly as before, he changed the subject: “What are you up to?”

“I was heading toward the shuttle center.”

“You very attached to getting around on the shuttles?”

What an odd question. “I suppose not.”

“Because I have a motorcycle sitting about two minutes away from the center that can take you anywhere you need to go.”

Oh.

Jim shrugged again. “Feel free to turn me down, but I’m feeling like having a cup of coffee and I feel like maybe you’d want to join me.”

Distantly, Spock heard his mother telling him the same thing she always did when he walked out the door: “Be careful, Spock! Dress warmly! Wear protection!” He almost laughed.

“Jim,” he said, “Are you asking me on a date?”

“That depends,” said Jim. “Are you okay with getting a little wet?”

“As long as you’re paying.”

Jim held out his hand. Spock looked down at those long fingers.

“Yeah,” said Jim, “I’m well aware of vulcan kissing practices.”

Spock smiled and took Jim’s hand. Yeah, he was definitely warming to Earth.

#answered #i'm so sorry this so bad ilu ides #my writing

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noodledragonoverloard · 7 years

Text

The Stars are Red.: (Onlookers)

A/N.: So yea, I’m back with The Stars are Red. Thankfully the muses were on my side for once and let me get this chapter out before the end of fall break.

Pairing: Scotty/ Reader (It’s getting there)

Warning: You legit might wanna kill Uhura rn (and probably the next chapter too. ‘XD)

Prompt: Slight ‘Jim’ prompt, no lyrics in this one

Summary: After hearing your voice over the loudspeakers singing, Uhura is 1000% on your radar. You just so happen to have intell as to where she is. It’s not your fault ‘Jim’ got in the way.

One would expect Leonard McCoy to be fearless at this point. If a man could survive living around their biggest fear for years, repeatedly going back to it after multiple near-death encounters, it seems like a fair assumption. But that assumption is far from the truth. Allowing himself to be a part of this five year mission has subjected him to more fearful thoughts and encounters than the medical officer could ever foresee.

Yet, there was one thing that truly brought more fear to the Southern Doctor than space could ever conjure up to spite him. That fear was you. More specifically, you being on a warpath.

Sadly, fate wasn’t on his side today.

Having just been annoyed by the tenth red shirt in the last hour, the doctor was most certainly at the end of his rope. The nurses on hand, most of which McCoy signed on personally a few days prior, somehow found a way to keep the CMO at bay through their scuttling around the med bay. Most of the procedures, he knew, were the routine checkups that were required in a few days.

Uhura was no different. She was taken into a room to do the regular procedures. Claire, one of the newer nurses, was glad to put her info into the database. All of her numbers were fantastic, save for a slightly elevated heart rate, which could easily be filed under as simply being nervous. When they left the room, it was clear to the nurse that she was correct in that assumption.

Leonard should’ve seen the warning signs as soon as you came in. Your smile was tighter than normal, clearly fake to anyone looking hard enough. Even though he couldn’t hear you talking, it was clear from Christine’s body language that, whatever you said, was something worthy of keeping an eye on you for. Yet, the longer you stayed in the facility, the easier he found it to forget to keep you in his sights. A mistake he instantly began to regret as soon as your target came into your view.

Uhura was swift in racing away from you, yet you were right on her heels. The bay became a slew of moving obstacles, most attempting to get out of the way as the realization of what was happening around them kicked in.

Putting your tactical expertise to good use, you watched Uhura’s body closely. Even with how random her movements looked to the outsider, you saw the thoughts that went into each movement the woman made. Each sway was a calling card, each side-step a small piece of a bigger game plan. Though, no matter how close you scrutinized her moves, you couldn’t find a single hint to the bigger picture.

That was the case, until you nearly ran into ‘Jim’.

The nurses and Leonard watched on in a daze as you both shouted at each other on opposite sides of the ‘captain’.

“You jerk!” You bellowed out, attempting to reach the fawn skinned woman, “I trusted you!”

Raising a fabric wrapped arm, Uhura used it to block your attack as she stammered out, “I- I didn’t do it! Honest I didn’t!”

Blocking ‘Jim’s’ arm with ease, you allowed the arm to fall limply to his side. You had more important matters at hand. “Yeah right. And Andorians and Vulcans smile and sing kumbaya together on weekends.” You spit out, pushing ‘Jim’ towards Uhura, all in hope that it might cause her to lower her guard.

Needless to say, it didn’t work. With each advance you sought, Uhura countered in her own time, all the while maintaining the mobile barricade between your bodies. Whatever argument you had before had dwindled down to throwing petty insults at the other, most of which were a slew of different dialects. The only way to truly describe the amount of rage flowing through your veins at the moment was ‘seeing red’.

You were so committed to your argument that your brain didn’t register anything else. That was, until someone chose to be stupid enough to use their arms to keep you at bay.

Through your huffing and cursing, it was clear that whoever was holding you back was a man, his chest pressed to your back to better help his arms gain enough leverage to maintain their hold on you. Rearing your head back you realized that he was a fair bit taller than you’d expected, feeling his throat buckle slightly instead of the nose you were intending to break. Unfortunately, the attempt at getting free only ended up with a harsher hold and a soft warning growl in your ear.

Whipping your head to the side, you intended to make the man regret ever trying to hold you back. With teeth bared in a sneer and eyes blazing with fury, you threw out the first words that came to thought in a rumbling whisper.

“Don’t test me. You won’t like how it ends.”

“Oh, really?” He whispered harshly, his voice brought down a few octaves from your attack, “Yet yer the one bein held back.”

As the man finished speaking, you finally registered the captor’s red shirt and deep brown eyes that stared back into your own. Even with how deep his voice was, his Scottish accent was easy to recognize. Forcing yourself to look down, it was made quite clear to the scotsman that you registered what you had done by the soft blush and whimper that refused to be held back.

“Ya back now lassie?” With a soft nod, Scotty let go of you, not catching the way you shivered as his hand slowly pulled away from around your waist.

“Hey Scotty,” Uhura called out, peeking out from behind ‘Jim’s’ back, all the while making sure not to place too much weight on the preoccupied doctor.

“Morning lass. Now, if I may ask, what da bloody hell went on?”

With enough decency to look bashful, the young woman muttered out, “We got in a fight over something that we could’ve talked out. We even pulled poor ‘Jim’ into it.”

“Ay, I can see that.” Giving you a glance over his shoulder, he walked over towards the battered skeleton. “Poor lad’s shirt is hanging off. An he’s still pantsless, the stook oughta know by now how to act in front of so many bonnie lasses. Wouldn’t ya agree Bones?”

Looking toward the man, it was clear that he wasn’t listening. Christine had all of his attention, currently discussing a procedure that involved too many complex words and acronyms for you to follow comfortably. Both were too immersed in their own world of medical jargon to notice the multiple glances that Uhura, Scotty, and yourself exchanged. For the few brave souls that opted to watch the whole duration of the pointless game of cat and mouse were experiencing something that was often spoken of in hushed whispers among the crew.

‘The Enterprise’s Wrath’ was plotting an attack.

A name that the Scotsman, the Communications officer, and yourself donned as a joke during ‘The Mighty Prank War’ was one that a fair portion of the crew chose to keep calling you ‘in secret’. It was a fitting name at the time, for three commonly laid-back crew members that hid their true knack at pranking and evasion unless they chose to hone in on a victim.

Most can still find a picture or two on the immediate database of the carnage that was Jim’s room.

Taking a silent vote full of raised eyebrows and squints full of reproach, it was decided. Bones gets to walk away, only by sway of ice cream and movie night from Uhura’s side.

Since the covert, and more amusing, option was now off the table, you opted for a more abrupt approach. Slinking behind the southern man, you found his attention on a datapad, clearly displeased with whatever was written on it. With no time to think your actions through, you whipped an arm around the doctor, only to pull back just as fast when his datapad was in your grasp.

“Give it back little lady!” He growled lowly, keeping his hand outstretched for the offending object.

“Hmmm. . . “ was all you quipped out, smirk evident as you pretended to think it over, “Why would I do that? If the ever diligent Bones was occupied with whatever is on it, then why would I give it back before I knew what was written on it?”

With every step he took forwards, you sprung back an equal distance. Skimming over the words, it was painfully obvious that the words comprised of a medical document. With diligent flicks of your finger, you got deeper and deeper into the letter. All of a sudden,both you and your smile froze, much to the confusion of the now captive audience. With nothing but a glance back at the man, you lifted the document as if it weighed led.

Wasting no time, McCoy took the object back as quickly as you had taken it.

Making sure to get in your space, the doctor leaned down to your ear before he spat out “You gonna leave my stuff alone when I tell you?”

Voiceless, all you could manage was a soft nod, too in shock to respond accordingly.

“You better.”

Opting to recognize Scotty rather than you, he tilted his head towards the scotsman, making it clear that he was listening.

Gathering his thoughts as rapidly as he could, he sputtered out, “Eh, tha captain says that we av’ta go to a banquet tomorrow. Says that it’s for ‘diplomatic purposes’. You too, Uhura.”

“Can’t make it. Got too much stuff to do here.” Seeing that as being the end of the discussion, McCoy strode over to his office, Christine close on his heels.

Huffing out in frustration, Scotty’s eyes met Uhura’s, clearly asking her opinion as to what to do.

“Were they expecting anyone expressly?”

“I donae think so, save for the captain and Spock. We were what the captain thought would be best at the party.” He acquiesced, adding in a shrug for good measure before adding, “He only asked for me to tell the lad because I was on my way for a physical.”

“Well, I was about to head back on shift anyways, I’ll see what he wants us to do.” Was all she deemed necessary to end the conversation.

On her way to the door, her eyes met your own, making it clear that you were meant to follow her. Giving him a courtesy nod, you rushed out before your blush could be made evident. As you fell into stride with her, you saw her fingers flying over her datapad, no doubt talking to Jim about what to do.

Once you both reached the turbolift she commented,“I’m vouching for you.”

“W-what?”

“I’m vouching for you to Jim. And it looks like he’s for it so far.”

“But I don’t even have a dressy enough dress to go to a banquet in!” you almost shrieked at the other officer.

Choosing to reply with a side-eye as her device pinged again, her body language as a whole screamed ‘you don’t think I’ve already had this planned out from the start’.

Pausing the turbolift, she canceled both of your intended paths, choosing instead to enter the lowest inhabited deck floor. The same floor that allowed people on and off the station. As she activated it again, she gave you a smirk that made it clear that you were both going to the party and going to go all out with the dress options you could find.

With a huff, the words that you had hoped to never hear come from her lips met the air, with an amusement fit for an overenthusiastic torturer.

“Let's go shopping.”

All you could do was pray that the three hours left docked would go swiftly.

#Bones #Uhura #Reader/ Scotty #You be wild #and fierce #don't tick off reader #bones is mad #Deep voice Scotty must exist #Uhura is friend goals #(uhura is also low-key torturer)#'Jim' appearance #med bay #@impalaanddemons

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dukewuornos · 7 years

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"Are you taking his side against me?" - McKirk

“I can’t believe it, Jim. Are you taking his side against me?” McCoy stood up from his bed and took a step over to Jim, who still stood half in the door.

Jim sighed deeply. “Look, Bones, it’s only-”

McCoy stopped Jim with his raised hand right in front of his face. “Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say this word.” It was bad enough to hear it over and over from this damn Vulcan. Jim didn’t need to pick up this habit.

Logical his ass. Nothing about this situation was logical. And they shouldn’t treat it like that. But Spock seemed to have wrapped Jim around his finger. They both had teamed up against him. But McCoy wouldn’t give up without a fight. “I thought you would understand, Jim.”

Jim’s head shot up and he looked like McCoy just hit him, shocked and hurt. “I do, Bones, I really do.”

“Yeah? And why do you lock me up in my own quarters? You never give up. You don’t believe in no-win scenarios.”

“Please, Bones…” Jim’s eyes filled with tears.

“This is my life we are talking about,” McCoy shouted. “I should have a right to decide how to use the rest of it. It’s my damn life, Jim.”

“I know,” Jim yelled back. “I know this, Bones. But I’m just trying to give you more time. I’m just trying to save you.”

McCoy huffed. He knew that he was probably too hard on Jim but he was mad at him and disappointed. “You are not saving me, Jim. You are locking me up in my quarters, denying me any means to look for a cure.”

“Spock will continue his work,” Jim was quick to assure. “We haven’t given up.”

“But you deny me to help? Because it’s logical?” McCoy got even closer to Jim, studied his expression, saw the worry in his face and the sheer fear in his eyes.

“Yes! Because it’s logical! Damn, Bones, look at you. You are pale, sweaty and thin. I watched you over the last couple of weeks and you can’t deny that you are getting weaker with every day. You can’t keep this work up. It will kill you.”

McCoy laughed dryly. “My work isn’t the thing which is killing me.”

“It is partly. You are exhausting yourself. Spock fears that you will only have days left if you will continue to work this hard. M’Benga has the same opinion. So yes, it’s logical to keep you in here. To keep you away from everything and maybe buy you a little more time. Spock is close to something. We can save you if you just accept the situation and rest.”

“And do what? Lay down and be completely alone with my thoughts?” Out of a sudden McCoy was terrified. Of course he was aware of the situation, of his imminent death, but his work to find an impossible cure had occupied him. Now, here it was totally quiet. It was an empty room that would swallow every last hopeful thought he had left. McCoy feared that it would probably kill him sooner than his work could have done.

“Who said you were alone in here?”

Suddenly McCoy was completely surrounded by Jim Kirk. His arms lay on McCoy’s back and he pressed him gently to his chest. “I came to tell you that we want you to stay in your quarters and that I’m not leaving your side.”

McCoy leaned into Jim, felt the adrenaline leave his body and he felt so weak suddenly. He clung to Jim’s shirt. “I’m scared, Jim,” he whispered into the soft fabric.

“I know,” Jim answered and gave him a kiss on his head. “I am too, Bones.”

#star trek #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #bones #mckirk #alpha's stories #fic: mckirk #afoxnamedmulder

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kaitymccoy123 · 7 years

Text

Motivation Ficlets -Spock

Intro: So this one was inspired by my recent descent into illness that I am convinced was bronchitis (I am mostly recovered by now) and the fact that my house is so freezing that I have this deep need to be cuddled by Spock. So that is literally what this is. I thought it was quite sweet. I hope you enjoy. :3

((Also Soft Sleepy Spock™ is my new favourite thing))

Pairing: Spock x reader

Word Count: 697

-Enjoy!-

You left your shift early on Dr. McCoy's orders. He said something along the lines of 'these patients are already sick enough they don't need you sneezing all over them', handed you a bottle of tylenol and a bottle of orange juice and sent you to your quarters.

Truth was, you felt pretty crappy and were glad to be sent home. You thought at first it was allergies, or just a reaction to the dry air that cycled through the ship, but as the day progressed, you felt worse and worse, your stuffy nose nearly unbearable and your throat feeling sore and swollen.

Dropping your bag just inside the door, you felt your eyes water and nose sting, just before letting out a big sneeze.

"Ugh." You groaned and reached for a tissue that you had in your pocket.

When your eyes cleared and you had blown your nose, you turned to your room, your heart leaping at the sight of a familiar set of dark hair and pointy ears sticking out over the arm of the couch. Spock.

You popped a tylenol and took a swig of the orange juice as you rounded the couch to see Spock laid out, one leg along the couch, one dangling off, his head tipped back, resting on the arm of the couch. You smiled fondly at him, so very uncharacteristically splayed out, relaxed, and you imagined how warm it would be to curl up against him, and you shivered involuntarily.

All at one the urge to sneeze overtook you, and you tried to stop it, but it escaped you, and the sleeping Vulcan's head quickly snapped up.

"Y/N?" He mumbled and sat up, his eyes blinking sleepily, his hair tousled adorably.

"Hi, Spock." You croaked, dabbing at your eyes and nose with your tissue again.

"You are meant to still be on shift, are you alright?" His voice was soft and gravely from sleep, and he rubbed at his eyes and covered a yawn, both actions you found to be very endearing.

"I think I'm getting sick. Dr. McCoy sent me home." You shivered again and suddenly felt exhaustion hit you, "I'm sorry I woke you up, Spock."

"It's quite alright. You look cold." He peered up at you through slightly furrowed brows.

"A little. But 'm fine. Jus' gonna go to bed." You mumbled, swaying on your feet.

"Come to me, little one." Spock's long fingers gently brushed against the skin of your forearm, his fingertips so warm that you leaned into the touch.

"I don't wanna get you sick." You coughed, but your body betrayed you and you let Spock draw you to him.

"Ashayam, you know Vulcan's have a different immune system than humans, I will not fall ill."

"Mmmm 'kay." You hummed and nearly fell into the couch, but Spock caught you, gathering you up into his arms, the temperature difference making you groan and snuggle into him.

His body was like a heater under yours, and you quickly tangled your legs together, nestling your head into his neck and tucking your frigid fingers in between your bodies. His arm was draped across your back, his other hand finding your hair and carding through it softly.

"Your skin is above it's normal temperature." Spock noted, his chin tilting down suddenly and you felt his lips press quickly to your forehead.

"Did you just check my temperature?" You mumbled into his chest, a smile perking at your lips as you curled your fingers into the fabric of his shirt.

"My mother used to do that when I fell ill, I thought it was customary to check for an elevated temperature through skin to skin contact." Spock's chest rumbled as he spoke, and your eyes flitted closed.

"Mhmmm." You affirmed, "and 'twas very sweet, thank you, ashaya..." Your mind drifted now, and you let out another shiver despite Spock's body heat.

Spock shifted below you and soon the heaviness of a blanket fell along your back and with a few more shuffles you were bundled up and toasty, feeling very content.

"Thank you, Spock." You muttered, and felt his lips press against the top of your head.

"Anything for you, little one."

-Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!-

#still on hiatus #corn fed queue #spockxreader #spockfluff #should be studying #spock #startrek #startrekfic #startrekimagine #motivationficlet

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captainjimsexypantskirk · 7 years

Text

The Ball

(Gif not mine)

Part 2

Fairytail AU

Rating: I have no clue. There is passionate kissing okay?

Characters: Jim Kirk, Reader, Uhura, Spock, Bones, Winona Kirk

WARNINGS: Child abuse mention, death mention, grief mention, charming kirk, fairytale stuff. I hope it is okay.

Authors note: This will be a two part piece. I didn’t think it would be so long till I really got into writing this. This was inspired by the lovely @yourtropegirl. I hope this lives up to your expectations. I am working on part 2 right now, but I doubt it will be posted tonight. Enjoy!

The kingdom was abuzz with the news of the ball. It was time for Prince James Tiberius Kirk to marry, and this was an event for him to meet every woman the kingdom had to offer. Naturally he was against the idea, he preferred the freedom he had in his private life. He enjoyed the freedom to ride out into the night and watch the sky, oh how the prince dreamed of touching the stars.

As he sat upon the throne with his mother, the widowed queen, he let out a sigh. At one time, she was the most beloved queen, but after the death of the king she found herself with many lovers, and very publicly handled each one. It was safe to say that the kingdom did not approve of the queen’s actions, or the of how each man treated the prince. None of them were worthy of living in the castle.

“Son, it won’t be as bad as you are making out to be” She said, looking at him then around the main hall. Servants were working hard to prep the tables, the dance floor, the music, and the food. It was going to be the event of the year.

“Whatever say Mother.” He responded and stood to his feet. “Father never had to do this to meet you. He was able to choose when he was ready” He said and she scoffed.

“It was a different time. And it is time for you to take the throne. To do so you need a wife, and a wife you shall pick!” She said and gave him a glare. The glare made a chill of fear run down his back. As a child, when he was looked at with such contempt a boyfriend would normally follow it up with a paddle, or whip. He let out a sigh and nodded to her.

“Yes mother, I shall” He said and looked at to the doors as they opened, his tailor had arrived. “Excuse me mother, I have a ball to dress for” He said and followed the man to his quarters.

Across the Kingdom sat yourself. You have lived a quaint life. It was far from challenging. Your father had made sure of that. Leonard McCoy was the hardest working doctor the town had ever seen. He was also the most loved the town had ever had. You were his pride and joy, and he did everything to make sure you were comfortable as you grew up, especially after your mother had left you both when you were young. When the news of the ball made its way to your household, you were both uninterested; your tutor though, she was very excited.

“Dr. McCoy! A young woman like your daughter should go to experience the ball. She may even be good enough for the prince to wish to marry her! Lord knows she is smart enough, and well cultured.” Nyota Uhura said and you giggled from your desk in front of the living room window.

“Like hell she needs to go! Especially if that prince is looking for a wife. Princes are raised to be charming, not loyal or honest!” He exclaimed and Nyota rolled her eyes. She was like a mother. She cared for you, your father, and odd neighbor Mr. Spock. There was a rumor that Nyota and Mr. Spock were in love, but whenever you would bring it up to her she would scoff and change the subject.

“Leonard. That young woman in there is almost of marrying age! The whole kingdom is invited, Mr. Spock has even asked me to accompany him to the castle to observe the festivities.” She said and stood tall, giving your father a look of determination. He would give in.

“So, what you’re saying is that I could go and make sure the prince keeps his royal hands to himself?” He asked and she nodded.

“That is correct Doctor. You could keep your little angel perfectly safe.” She said with a smile and Leonard looked to you. He raised a brow and then sighed.

“Alright, alright. I trust you will get her ready? A young lady needs a woman to help prepare for a ball” He said, his voice soft. He meant to say that a girl needed her mother, but you both know it was better that Uhura did it anyways.

“Absolutely! Y/N! Grab your coat, we have a dress to pick out.” She beamed and you scurried to the door and slid into your coat. When Ms. Uhura told you to do something, you listened.

The day had finally come. The main hall was absolutely exquisite, there was royal blue fabric, blue flowers, and other deep blue décor accompanied with gold accents. Prince Kirk walked along the hall, looking around in amazement; his mother had gone above and beyond with this ball. Before his mother would put forward effort, but only out of obligation to her title. It seemed that she truly cared about this one though, and it was nice.

He wore a cold pale blue jacket with gold embellishments, as well as blue shirt, and high wasted black trousers. He requested the attire would be inspired by his father’s wedding attire. His tailor did not disappoint. His hands ran along the back of the chairs as he made his way to the throne. People would be arriving soon, and he was expected to greet each family with kindness and excitement for the festivities.

You were among those who could make the journey to the castle. The line of carriages making their way to the castle was enough to overwhelm you. Nyota seemed to noticed and she took your gloved hand into hers.

“Sweetheart, don’t be nervous. There are no expectations with this evening, other than to have the time of your life.” She said and flashed you an assuring smile.

“I will try my hardest.” You said with a smile and she nodded then looked across the carriage to your father and Mr. Spock.

“Y/N, if you don’t like the ball we can go home. But, Nyota is right, you should try to enjoy the night” Your father said and Mr. Spock looked at you.

“All that I have heard about events like this has been positive. I am sure you will find something to hold your interest” He said and you smiled bright.

“Thank you, Mr. Spock. Will you and Ms. Uhura be dancing this evening?” You asked and giggled as a blush crept across his cheeks and Nyota looked at you.

“Now don’t be crude young woman” She said and you stopped your giggling.

“Yes Ma’am.” You nodded and blinked as the carriage stopped at the stairs leading into the castle. “It’s time. Father, try not to be too grumpy” You said and smiled. He chuckled and nodded, leaning over to kiss your forehead before stepping out of the carriage before helping you out. You looked to Nyota who had her arm hooked with Mr. Spock’s. She wore a shimmery red ball gown, and black gloves that went passed her elbow. You looked at her gown and then at yours and blinked nervously.

“Y/N, you are the most beautiful girl here. Don’t be nervous.” She whispered and she nodded before your father guided you up the steps. Other people all stopped to look at you as you made your way passed the grand stair case. Your dress was a pale pink, with a gold sash and shimmering fabric along your skirt that caught the candle light just right to make you glow. You tightened your hands around each other as you walked. If it hadn’t been for the elbow length gloves, everyone would be able to see how sweaty your palms had become.

It took a few moments for you to almost make it close enough to the throne to see the queen and prince, but you were not close enough to see details of their faces yet. You looked around and saw a sea of colors. Everyone had dressed so beautifully. Suddenly there was a cough and your father guided you in front of the throne.

“Queen Kirk, Prince Kirk, I introduce you to Y/N McCoy; daughter of Dr. Leonard McCoy.” The man announced and you bobbed with a curtsy. The Queen smiled and looked to your father.

“Dr. McCoy, she has grown beautifully.” She said and your father bowed. He knew her? You looked at him with surprise and he smiled soft. “Jim! Greet the guests!” She sharply whispered and the prince finally looked up to see you. You both sucked in a gasp and you curtsied once again to him. The queen smiled politely. “Son, this is the doctor that tried to save your father. And this is his daughter.” As she spoke the prince never took his eyes off of you.

“It is truly an honor to meet you. Both. To meet you both” He said and then looked to your father, realizing that he had noticed the young prince’s interest in you. “Please enjoy your evening.” He said and you both moved so the next group could be introduced. You finally relaxed and caught your breath.

“My, my, my; If I didn’t know better I would say that Y/N fancies the prince!” Nyota said and made you jump.

“I do not! I was just surprised. Who wears so much gold on their clothes?” You asked and she giggled.

“Apparently the both of you. It is like a match made in heaven” She said. Her words caused your father to pull out a flask.

“Oh look. Just what the doctor ordered.” He grumbled and took a sip. Uhura, Mr. Spock and yourself all chuckled. You looked to an open door across the room. The door led to a dark balcony, and it seemed like the perfect escape.

“Pardon me, I need some air” You rushed out and moved quickly towards the door before anyone could offer to accompany you. Once outside the large doors, you let out a sigh. The cool spring air felt refreshing on your skin as you made your way to the railing. You looked up at the sky and smiled at the twinkling stars. It looked like heavenly glitter along the rich night sky.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t- “You heard from the door and whipped around to see where the voice came from. The prince stood just passed the threshold of the door and you flashed him a kind smile.

“Don’t apologize. This is your castle. I was just admiring your view of the night sky.” You said and looked from him back to the sky. He watched you, admiration filling his eyes as he watched the moonlight dance across your skin.

“I find myself out here every night doing exactly the same.” He responded and walked over to you, looking at you once again. You kept looking at the sky and then leaned against the railing.

“Your Roya- “You started but were quickly caught off.

“Jim. Someone as beautiful as yourself can call me Jim” He spoke with a smile so tender that it brought a blush on your cheeks.

“Alright. So, Jim, is this ball really to find you a wife?” You asked and tilted our head in curiosity. He chuckled and nodded.

“That is correct. The Queen is ready to give up her place, and I need a bride to step forward as King. So here I am. Are you here looking for a husband?” He asked and you giggled.

“No, I am actually here as a rite of passage. Every young woman should experience a ball, you know” You said and flashed him a flirty smile, which caused him to smirk in response.

“Ah, I do know. Now, tell me about your interest in the stars.” As he spoke he leaned with you against the rail.

“Ah, well, they are beautiful” You started, looking into his eyes. The sight of the rich blue, and twinkle he had was far better than any night sky. He was captivating. He was perfection. “But some days, I wish I could see them closer. I wish that I could touch them” You said and he stepped closer, considering your eyes.

“Ah, the stars and the heavens don’t compare to your beauty” He said and you gasped at his forwardness, but accept it anyways. You moved closer.

“That cannot be true. My beauty doesn’t hold the mystery that the stars do. My beauty doesn’t inspire adventure like the stars” You countered and he smirked.

“If the adventure meant finding you, it would inspire me everyday” He responded before suddenly pressing forward, his lips firmly touching yours. You gasped as he took your hand, pulling you closer. The movements and the feeling of his lips caused you to melt into the kiss. You returned the kiss shyly at first, but it slowly became more heated. More passionate. You wrapped your arms around his strong shoulders and his arms pulled you closer from around your waist. For several moments, the two of you stayed this way, till you heard a cough from the door. As soon as the sound reached you two, you both broke away to look towards the sound. The cause of the sound was your father, glaring at the both of you.

“I apologize Prince Kirk, but it is time we go” He said and you started to argue but he held up his hand. “I have ordered us an extra carriage, Uhura and Mr. Spock can take the one we brought. Now, Y/N, go to the carriage” He demanded, looking at the prince one more time before rushing towards the front of the castle.

“Doctor, I do not intend on harming your daughter” Jim said, but the Doctor shook his head.

“No, you wouldn’t. But you will die young like your father. A king’s job is to run off to protect his kingdom. I watched your father die. I watched you lose the most important person in your life. I told your mother and watched her break. I do not want that for my daughter. So, I’m sorry your highness, but find another woman to marry.” He said bitterly and stocked off.

to be continued

#star trek imagines #jim kirk x reader #jim kirk #star trek #star trek aos #reader insert #leonard mccoy #nyota uhura #spock #read the warnings please

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samingtonwilson · 7 years

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9 Things Couples Do - Jim Kirk

Summary: People do funny, stupid, cute, and sad things when they’re in love.

Warnings: language, a bit fluffy

A/N: everyone, i love jim kirk. i hope this is as good as it was in my head and better than i actually think its mediocre ass turned out (i am sick, though, so who knows). it’s such a long fic, y’all.

One

Jim assumed your favorite ice cream flavor was strawberry and you didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise. Especially not when he was looking at you in the way he was.

Impacted by the width and intensity of his smile, his eyes were narrowed and illuminated. He looked softer that way— less authoritative, less like the Captain Kirk the crew served under— he looked like the Jim you’d fallen for.

When the girl behind the counter looked at you with an eyebrow raised in question, you gave her a half-shrug you made sure was hidden from Jim. “Just one scoop, please.”

“One?” Jim asked, turning a little to look at you. He snorted and rolled the blue eyes that could have lit up the entire old-school San Francisco parlor. “Baby. And here I thought you had a gut of steel.”

“It’s not polite to comment on what metal you think makes-up the gut of your significant other.”

He snorted again, his fingertips shoving you with a force your weakened legs didn’t have the strength to withstand. He caught you before you could stumble a few inches to the right, immediately clasping his hand in yours. “Still tired from the…” he cleared his throat, “walk?”

The girl behind the counter giggled loud enough to force your teeth into your tongue, your cheeks and the tops of your ears burning instantly. You squeezed Jim’s hand so a wince left his lips and he snatched it back from yours. “I’m tired from the actual walk here. It’s uphill. And I do have a gut of steel— a roomy gut of steel, roomier than yours.”

Jim titled his head and took his gaze from yours to meet that of the girl busying herself with your strawberry ice cream and Jim’s chocolate with peanut butter swirled throughout. He smiled at her. “Did that sound like a challenge to you? Did you hear me being challenged by the person that is supposed to love me, to uplift me?”

“I do love you,” you mumbled before you looked at the girl and took the cone she offered you. “He’s dramatic— excuse him, please.”

You looked down at the already melting pink mess, then back up at Jim. You quirked a single eyebrow. “But let’s say I was challenging you— that I’m betting you my gut’s roomier than yours. What’s that entail?”

“Whoever finishes the most ice cream in twenty minutes.”

“That’s a long ass time, Jim. We just had dinner—”

“Ten minutes. No cones, just cups and spoons— cones take too long to finish.”

“The usual stakes or do you wanna modify them?”

“The usual stakes,” he said with a single nod. He was smirking so openly and cockily. It bugged you.

“We’ll tip you generously,” you told the girl who was now staring at the two of you with eyes the size and shape of saucers. “You just have to keep up, okay? Two servings ahead of us each time just to be safe. No stopping even when I look like my brain has frozen itself into a coma.”

Jim clapped his hands together. “This is what you trained for!”

“I-I haven’t really trained,” she said. She sounded nervous— a wise girl to be nervous, you thought.

You and Jim looked at one another, shrugged, and beckoned her to begin scooping.

Two

There was something about the way you were sitting beside Jim— one of your shoulders against his chest so his nose could drag across your skin and bury itself in your hair easily.

There was something about the way you smelled— the perfume only lightly dusted over your skin overpowered by the smell of his shampoo in your hair as you’d just run out that morning.

And there was definitely something about the way his jeans were growing tighter by the second— your hand placed on his thigh so your fingernails scraped absentminded patterns against the fabric, moving up and up.

He lifted himself from the booth bench discreetly, trying to adjust himself with the utmost caution. He coughed to cover the squeaking of the vinyl, skimming his fingertip over the rim of his nearly empty glass.

His movement didn’t escape you, though.

You looked over your shoulder and tilted your head. “Something wrong?”

He looked over your features. He traced the slope of your nose, the dip of your cupid’s bow, the width of your eyes— all with his gaze. He let himself focus on your lips for a few seconds.

He could’ve slapped himself for that mistake. All he could do was picture your lips moving against his until they grew darker, picture your lips trailing across his jaw and your teeth biting the skin of his neck, picture those same lips wrapped around his hard length until he—

“You know, if you come, in public, before I even get my hands on you, we’re breaking up.”

He almost shivered. The lowness of your voice definitely wasn’t helping him, nor was the slight flashing of your eyes. “Can we leave? Fuck, I’ll settle for the restroom at this rate.”

“If you think these knees are touching a sticky dive bar floor in the middle of this slime-coated Federation planet, —”

“Yeah, that’s it, give me more of an image. I really need that right now.”

You took mercy on him. Patting his leg twice, you leaned towards him and caught his earlobe between your teeth for a moment, whispering, “We’re leaving. But it’s on you to cover whatever you’ve got goin’ on down there.”

“We’re leaving!” you said once more, but to everyone at the table this time. You smiled at the knowing smirk of sarcasm painted over Leonard’s face, his tan skin creasing as a result.

He then snorted. His Southern drawl was out in full force in his drunken state, “Typical— leavin’ in the middle of a night out to fuck. Least you held off— unlike Scotty and Turner who’re busy fuckin’ in the bathrooms.”

“We have better manners than to—” you cut yourself off with a loud gasp. “Scotty and Turner?!”

Three

Walking down the well-lit cavernous corridors of the Enterprise after a ten-hour shift in the medbay, PADD in-hand and communicator in-boot, you lamented in your lack of coffee. Though Leonard offered to replicate some before you trudged into the turbolift, you refused with a polite smile and small wave. You were running late as is.

You passed many faces you recognized and many you didn’t. As for the latter, you couldn’t be bothered to change course, posture, or activity— their lack of knowing you didn’t impact their knowing of not to bother post-shift you. For the former, however, you hid behind your hair or looked down at your PADD, seemingly engrossed in whatever the screen shone up at you.

“You’re late.”

You almost tripped over your own feet at the sound of his voice, your PADD tumbling from your fingers and hitting the ground with a gross clank. You brushed your hair out of your eyes and sighed. “Good lord, Jim.”

He laughed, bending to retrieve the fallen electronic. He held onto it as he motioned for you to continue walking. “You look like you’re going to pass out any second now.”

“Some idiot kept me up last night with his snores and body heat,” you said, smiling at him innocently as he sent a scowl your way. “Also, you can’t condemn me for being late if you’re still roaming the halls. We said dinner at eight.”

“My hypocrisy is irrelevant. It’s about the principle, angel.” He let the back of his hand brush against yours for a short moment before lacing your fingers together and pulling you into his side. “And, because I know you so well, I’m sure you’re going to ask to postpone dinner even more so you can shower at your place and meet me at mine.”

You looked up at him with an apologetic expression. “I smell like disinfectant and my hair is—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself. I just—” he sighed and halted in his steps. “What if you showered at my place?”

“My shampoo’s in my shower and I need fresh clothes—”

“What if your shampoo was in my shower?”

“Then I wouldn’t have clothes.”

“What if your clothes were in my closet?”

You took a step back. “What are you saying?”

“Wouldn’t it be easier if your shampoo was in my shower, your clothes were in my closet, and we went to the same place after our shifts everyday?” he asked. He was staring at you— in that same soft way that felt like velvet. “Please tell me you’re following.”

Smile over your lips, you nodded. “I am, but I want you to spell it out for me.”

He sighed, smiling as well. “Just move in with me already.”

Four

It was a long day for you both.

Jim spent it arguing with Spock. He called it “Spock’s semi-annual bout of blind disagreement” and Spock called it “Jim’s semi-annual bout of illogical childishness.” Or at least, that’s what you’d hope Spock would call it after you suggested it during the half-Vulcan’s latest physical.

As for you, you had spent the day running after stubborn red shirts that opened an incorrect valve and gave themselves extensive steam burns. It wouldn’t have been such a large task if the red shirts had even a remote ability to sit still— but that didn’t seem to be the case.

You and Jim sat side-by-side on the too-stiff couch in your shared quarters when you should have been eating dinner side-by-side, preparing to sleep side-by-side. You exchanged groans and moans intermittently.

“If I could just do something that would bug him as much as he bugs me,” Jim began, speaking through his teeth that you were surprised had enough strength to remain gritted.

“Cut all his hair off while he sleeps.” The pure exhaustion in your voice was heavy enough to suffocate you but you gathered the energy to speak each time Jim spoke to you. You didn’t want him to go unanswered.

Jim shook a bit with silent laughter, a soft chuckle slipping through his lips. He sighed as you slumped into his side, his arm immediately draping over your shoulders. “I don’t know if I can.”

“‘Course you can. You’ve got access to everyone’s rooms.”

“Sometimes I think his hair is just one large mass. It never moves, you can never see strands. I’ve never seen the man get a haircut.”

“I wonder if you could get me access to Lieutenant Kabir’s room so I could use the dermal regenerator on his fucking arm.”

“I should ask Uhura if it moves, if it has strands. Sometimes I think it’s rubber, or plastic, or leather.”

“Leather?” you asked with a snort. “S’not leather. What if it’s a helmet? Or just, like, a cut-up bowling ball.”

Jim scoffed. “I can’t get you into Kabir’s room, by the way.”

You waved your hand dismissively. “Abuse of power, schmabooze of schmower.”

He laughed out loud this time, rubbing his palm against his forehead. “I actually meant I’m too tired to make it there. I’m sorry, angel.”

You hummed, lifting your head to lock your fingers through Jim’s as they hung over your shoulder. “No apologies. Let’s just complain more— I like it.”

Five

You groaned as you placed your pillow over your head, clamping it there tightly to block out every lyric Jim practically yelled from the shower.

You gritted your teeth tightly, practically grinding them together as his voice seemed to seep through the thick cotton cover and firm cotton stuffing. You adjusted your fingers to wrap the pillow around your head with an even greater tightness and whimpered into the mattress your nose was smashed onto.

You normally never objected to Jim’s singing— he could carry any tune easily and the sound of his voice was enough to melt any stress occluding your thoughts. But, after working two shifts without so much as an hour break in between, rest was precious to you.

He didn’t stop even as the water shut off and spent the subsequent minutes actually increasing his volume.

With a far louder groan than your last, you threw the pillow aside and ripped the comforter from your body, placing your bare feet on the floor and standing on shaky, exhausted legs. Your hands formed tight fists and your steps were heavy as you walked across the room— your teeth could have cracked from the pressure you placed upon them.

You felt the heat rolling off your own body as you approached the door, banging your fist against the door three times without answer. “Jim fucking Kirk, I swear to any and every deity anyone has ever prayed to, —”

The door slid open with a soft hiss, the man behind it grinning at you with a freshness rivaling any spring you’d ever witnessed. Water fell from his growing blonde hair onto his bare shoulders and rolled down his torso, soaking the waistband of his undone trousers. “What? What do you swear to any and every deity anyone has ever prayed to, angel?”

You took your teeth from your bottom lip at the sound of his voice and cleared your throat. You decided to glare at him once you met his almost electric blue eyes. “I could dump you for disrupting my sleep.”

“Okay, and I could fight you on that.” The amusement in his eyes, painting the smile over his lips, forcing the tone of his voice irritated you beyond belief.

“Mess with my sleep and any fight is inadequate, Kirk.”

He tilted his head. His visible amusement only increased. “We’re using last names now? That’s a thing we’re doing?”

“It adds emphasis,” you shrugged. “I was trying to sleep, why would you have a goddamn concert in the shower while I’m trying to sleep?”

“I wasn’t having a con—”

“I heard you thank Yorktown for being a great audience.”

His smile faltered a bit. “Haven’t we reached a point in our relationship where nothing is embarrassing anymore?”

“I don’t know, Jim,” you replied. The pink over the apples of his cheeks and the tips of his ears did away with some of your anger. “S’pretty embarrassing— Len won’t let you live it down.”

“Bones knows?”

“He will when I tell him.” You reached up to pat his cheek, smirking. “Consider us even, Beastie Boy reject.”

Six

Tossing your tray of half-finished food aside, you rose from the front-row table and nodded knowingly at Uhura once. She laughed in response as you took short, calculated steps towards the lines behind the plethora of replicators.

You placed your index finger over your pursed lips when Leonard spotted you, shaking your head quickly when his mouth opened. “Please, please, please,” you mouthed to him.

He snorted quietly and nodded before rolling his hazel eyes. He resumed his conversation with Jim, just nodding as his friend spoke.

You brushed past clustering crewmembers and raised yourself onto the balls of your feet once you reached Jim. With a quick kiss to his cheek, you grinned as he turned his face to look at you and bumped your noses together. “That’s four for me, loser.”

A few hours later, Jim found himself hiding behind the curtain he knew you were on the other side of. He could hear you as you spoke to the patient, giving them sound advice on the necessity of adequate rest and hydration.

He was trying to keep his breathing quiet as he heard your steps carry you in his direction and worked even harder to keep himself from yelling out in premature triumph when you pulled the curtain aside.

As soon as he saw your eyes flash towards him, he leaned in and pressed his lips to your cheek. He immediately began backing away, laughing as he did. “We’re tied, angel.”

The next morning, you kept yourself cooped up in your favorite exam room and, with the bimonthly physicals already in session, you were justified in doing so. Which is what you told Leonard as he stepped through the door with one of the widest scowls you’d ever seen.

“Cut the crap,” he said, snorting in response to your thin defense. “You’re in here because of that stupid kissin’ game you and Jim have got goin’.”

“What game?” you asked, eyes wide as you stared at him. “There is no ga—”

The deadpanned expression he offered you cut you off easily.

You sighed in defeat. “He’s winning, Len! We can’t let him win!”

“Who is this ‘we’ you’re referrin’ to, sweetheart? None of the bullshit y’all do is any of my concern.” He paused for a moment. “Besides, if I was goin’ to be pickin’ sides, I’d be on Jim’s.”

“What are you—”

As if queued up perfectly, there was a flash of command gold through the agape door before Jim’s soft lips pressed against your cheek. His arm went around your waist as you stumbled to the side a bit, stabilizing you before kissing your cheek again. “That count as two? Should count as two.”

“You cheated!” you shouted, pushing at Jim’s chest as you gawked at him incredulously. “You totally cheated!”

“Only two rules,” he began, holding two fingers up. “One, kisses in our quarters don’t count and, two, first to reach ten.”

“Whose stupid idea was this?” you were still yelling, which only made Jim smile more.

“Mine. And now,” he nearly sang as he leaned forward once more to kiss your cheek especially sloppily. “I’m at ten and I win.”

“But —”

“God, I can’t wait for you to only speak to Spock in Shakespeare quotes.”

You were fuming. “I hate you.”

Jim looked at Leonard and raised his thick eyebrows. “‘The course of true love never did run smooth,’ eh?”

Seven

You turned from your side onto your back, sighing as you adjusted the comforter so it was tucked under your arms. You then flipped onto your stomach, sighing once more as you moved onto your other side. Deciding that position pulled on your healing wound too much, you moved.

As soon as you were lying on your back again, you stared at the ceiling blankly. You couldn’t see the boundaries of any of the plates, not bothering to turn the lights on as you squinted at them.

You looked to your left and let your gaze linger on Jim’s usual spot. You missed the mess of blonde hair that would peek out from the covers, the bright blue eyes that would flutter open upon realization of and concern about your restlessness.

But Jim’s anger always burned slowly— much slower than you could stand. He would simmer in his frustration, in his discontent for hours just overthinking and overanalyzing in silence— a silence that was drowning you at this very moment.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe when he didn’t speak to you, you felt like your lungs were shriveling up more and more with each second he spent sleeping on the couch.

You sat up, running your fingers through your hair and pulling a little. You considered your options and wrung your fingers together, twisting almost painfully.

Just as you heard rustling, you lied back down and pulled the bed spread over your head. You held your breath when you heard footsteps, you almost cursed yourself for letting a tear escape the corner of your eye when the steps went right past you to the bathroom.

You sat up again, calling for the lights to flicker on at twenty-percent rather than shock your eyes with anything higher. You combed your fingers through your hair and wiped at your cheeks to look mildly presentable, mildly put-together. You licked your lips when you registered how dry they were.

The door slid open once the water of the sink shut off and exhausted eyes met yours. He didn’t bother to speak, didn’t offer a word as he began to shuffle across the room.

“You have to talk to me eventually.”

He grunted in response.

“Take the bed. I’m the one that made a mistake, I should sleep on the couch.”

He stopped walking. “No.”

Something inside of you shook. “I’m the one that— that didn’t—” you were too tired to form a coherent sentence, but that didn’t stop you from trying. “I’m wrong, I know I’m wrong. You didn’t deserve to— I made a mistake. I didn’t listen to you and I went on that mission, I didn’t listen to you while I was out there and put myself in danger. I got hurt and it’s my fault—”

“It’s late. Sleep.”

Eight

Each time Jim shut his eyes, he saw the look in your eyes as you backed away from him and stepped onto the transporter platform. The look in your eyes that tore whatever was in his chest to pieces. The look you only had because he hurt you, because he yelled at you to be quiet when you went against his decision.

Each time he found silence, he heard Uhura announce that your communication line was dead. He heard Scotty announce that he could no longer track you. He heard Leonard say you’d left his side because a patient asked you to help someone too hurt to move, because caring for the wounded mattered more to you than your own safety— even in a war-torn territory the Enterprise was called on to assist medically. Louder than all of that, he heard the words he told you before you left, the tone he used before you left.

And each time he heard your voice, he remembered that he’d almost lost you. He forgave you the second you came on board with an arrow jammed into your side, your weak voice telling Leonard to make sure Jim was okay, to make sure he wasn’t too stressed out. But he couldn’t forget— not when you were forced to take it easy for subsequent weeks, not when you winced each time you moved too suddenly.

He wasn’t simmering in his anger like you thought he was, he wasn’t letting it burn him alive. He just didn’t know what he could say to the only person that made him so weak. How could he tell you that he was so angry that you almost left him? How could he be so selfish as to tell you he wanted to lock you inside your shared quarters and never let you out lest something happen? How could he even begin to express how much he loved you if it all just sounded insufficient in comparison to what he actually felt?

So as you asked him to take the bed and offered to take the couch, he couldn’t muster a word aside from, “No.”

When you fought him on it, when you reminded him of why his chest hurt almost every second, of why he couldn’t meet the dimming blue eyes of his reflection, he couldn’t say more than, “It’s late. Sleep.”

You didn’t listen to him, though— much to his dismay. You rose from the bed, smoothing down the t-shirt of his that you wore. Without looking at him, you brushed past him.

Before he knew what he was doing, he grasped your wrist in his hand.

His grip was tight and, aside from the hug he’d given you in the medbay after your surgery, it was the most physical contact you’d had in two weeks— or so you thought seeing as Jim would softly kiss your forehead once he was sure you’d fallen asleep.

“Jim, —”

“You,” he began unsteadily. “You could have died on me.”

“Jim, the arrow wasn’t—”

“It doesn’t matter where it was. You could have died on me,” he said in a louder voice, releasing your hand as you turned to face him. “It could have been much worse—”

“— because I didn’t listen and I’m so sorry. I’m really, truly sorry—”

He sighed heavily and took several steps back, his legs hitting the bed before he allowed himself to sit. He placed his head in his hands and took a deep breath. When he looked at you again, his red-rimmed eyes forced your heart into your throat.

“You could have died and the last thing I would have said to you is ‘be quiet.’ Not ‘I love you, please come back to me because it’ll take me too long to learn to be okay without you,’ and not ‘I’m so in love with you, you’re my world and I can’t imagine who I would be if I never met you.’” He shook his head. “I told you to be quiet.”

You tilted your head as you looked at him, kneeling before him seconds later. You placed your hands on his knees and ducked your head to offer him the smallest smile. “I don’t remember you saying that to me.”

He picked his head up and met your gaze. With the dilation of his pupils, he looked ready to consume whatever portion of you wasn’t already his.

“As cliché and lame as it sounds, the only thing I could remember you ever telling me was that you love me— that you’ve always loved me,” you said, cupping his cheek and running your thumb over his cheekbone. “I came back to you and I’m okay— I’ll give more weight to your judgement next time.”

He laughed in disbelief. “Angel, if you think there’s going to be a next time, —”

“I love you— but that’s not for you to decide. You can suggest, you can advise, but you can’t single me out and keep me out of missions— you know that.” You smiled a little more then. “Just, like, come with me or send a security officer next time. Yeah?”

Nine

You sat beside Jim in a comfortable silence. You were catching up on patient charts while he caught up on his favorite Earth publications— he had a crease at the center of his forehead and a soft neutral frown over his lips while you had your bottom lip in your teeth’s vice grip and your eyebrows knit together.

You looked over at him for a moment, smiling at the visible concentration over his features.

He seemed to sense that and met your gaze. He returned your smile easily.

“I think this officially makes us an old married couple.”

You laughed through your nose. “We’d have to be married in order to be an old married couple.”

“We’re not married?” he asked, leaning closer to you.

You shook your head with a frown of consideration. You leaned in as well. “No, not that I can recall.”

“Engaged?”

“No, Jim, we’re not.”

“I haven’t asked you to marry me yet?”

“Nope.”

“Huh.” He leaned away again. “Expect that soon.”

#i do think this story is funny #so im happy about that #it's sort of/kind of good i think?#we'll seeeeeee #time for them kirk tags #jim kirk #jim kirk imagine #kirk imagine #jim kirk x reader #kirk x reader #star trek #star trek imagine #star trek x reader #captain kirk x reader #captain kirk imagine #imagine kirk #imagine jim kirk #k cool #see yall later

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kaitymccoy123 · 7 years

Text

Lost Days (p.t. 7)

Intro: Is this the end? OH NO! Once again requested by @missmle712 - the reason for all this angst. :)

Ok so I have a lot of feelings about the end of this series. I am actually so proud of this last part I thought I wasn’t going to get it to turn out how I wanted it but it definitely turned out much better than I could have hoped. I loved writing this series. I definitely did. It didn’t get a lot of hype or a lot of notes and I have to be honest and say that that did discourage me a little, but those who did love it, those who reblogged or left comments literally kept this series going because I didn’t want to disappoint you. And next time I have a series I am definitely writing the entire thing before I post it because it was actually quite stressful to keep up with it. But I am so happy with how it turned out. And I hope you are happy as well.

So thank you making the journey of Lost Days a memorable one. You guys rock.

Pairing: Jim x reader

Word Count: 3,450 (holy moly)

Summary: We have reached the end ladies and gents. Is it going to be a happy or sad ending? Read and find out!

Intro Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

-Enjoy!-

Jim:

As I waited for Bones, lying on the office floor in a pool of my own blood, I only entertained for a moment the possibility that I was actually going to die there. The only reason I really cared was that I didn’t know if Bones could find you without my help.

I had called him when I received the message that told me where you were, telling him that if I didn’t send him a com in an hour, to come in after me. Of course he had tried to get me to back down, to let him help me, but I didn’t have time. You didn’t have time.

He took a lot longer than I thought he was going to, and images played in my brain over and over. Your eyes on mine. The gun pressed to your head. The crazed look in Eve’s eyes. You finally remembering me. Then the gun pointed at my chest. Then a deep pain. Your hands on my face. You calling my name.

You.

As I watched them take you away, kicking and screaming and calling my name, as I watched them drug you, your body going instantly limp, an odd sense of happiness pulled at my brain. I was dying. But I was happy.

It could have been delirium, that’s what Bones would have said, or something to do with the blood loss, that would have been the logical reason, Spock would have informed. But I couldn’t help but think it was because of the way your eyes met mine when you remembered. The way your lips formed my name when you finally remembered. You remembered me.

I felt my entire world shift again, if that was possible. You were alive. And the entire world could have exploded and I wouldn’t have cared because you came back to me.

When Bones finally showed up, he went into full doctor mode, and I just let him work, let him fret over me because that’s what he did best. Eventually he stopped the bleeding enough to move me and then suddenly we were beamed aboard the Enterprise.

I asked Bones where you were, told him there was no way in hell he was operating on me until I knew you were safe. But it was a half-hearted response as he literally had his hands inside the hole in my chest, trying to stop the bleeding. So he called me a ‘god-damned idiot” and told me that he had already told Scotty and Spock about the situation, and that they were already searching for you. The only problem was how difficult it was going to be to find a small mission pod in the middle of the galaxy.

“Where did Eve and her goons go?” I asked, fading in and out of consciousness.

“I have no idea, Jim. They weren’t there when I got there, and for all they know their plan worked. They must have had a shuttle on the roof and taken off somewhere.” Bones informed.

I could only groan in response, stars bursting behind my eyes as Bones dug deeper, trying to find the bullet. Bones’ worried glare met mine many times, ordering me to stay awake, and I tried, I really did, but eventually sleep was easier than staying awake, and I slipped easily into darkness.

It hurt when Bones told me you didn’t want to see me.

But I understood, or at least tried to understand, so I rested, much to Bones’ bewilderment, and waited for you. I had waited three years already, what was one more week?

We would make up these lost days. We could find home again.

Because that’s what you were to me. What you are to me. Home.

The great blackness of space was a lot less magical when you had just been floating around in it for three days, waiting to die, praying that the love of your life wasn’t dead.

You looked wistfully out the windows in your quarters, into the great beyond. Nothing but stars and blackness and emptiness and space. You thought of all the miles and light years that you had spanned over the time since you boarded the Enterprise, since you’d been rescued, and you had to remind yourself that you had been on the ship for many miles and light years before, with Jim.

Thinking of Jim made your heart sink into your chest. Like your heart wanted to hide and disintegrate into your innards but was stopped by something. Was stopped by hope.

You had to constantly remind yourself that you weren’t lost anymore. That that feeling of emptiness and blackness and space was gone, had shattered the moment you met Jim. The moment you found Jim again.

It ached in you now, that pressing, sinking, empty feeling that made you unable to catch your breath and made stinging tears press at your eyes.

The sound of your name behind you shook you out of the maze of thoughts that you were lost in.

“Y/N.”

A sob almost escaped you, and your breath caught in your chest as you spun around, taking in Jim’s form standing near the door. He looked as lost as you felt. His shoulders slightly hunched and his arms hanging loosely at his sides, his whole demeanor not one of a fierce captain, but one of a lost soldier, a little boy who doesn’t know how to get home.

“Jay.” You gulped, trying to swallow down the lump in your throat.

“How do you feel?” His voice cracked, and the innocent question hung in the air as he met your eyes.

You felt your soul set on fire as you dove into the crystal blue-ness of his eyes. Oh, how familiar those eyes were to you, how beautiful.

“A lot better, thanks, and you?” You breathed.

“Just fine.”

“Bones told me what happened after they drugged me.”

Jim nodded.

It felt like someone was continually stabbing your heart with a blunt knife at the politeness of the conversation, how forced it was, like you didn’t have to suppress every fiber in your being that was screaming at you to run to him, to hold him again.

“I remember everything, Jay.” The words tumbled quietly out of your mouth without you telling them to.

Jim’s eyes snapped up to yours and your heart skipped a beat.

“You do?” He mouthed, and you could tell he tried to make his voice audible but couldn’t get the air past his vocal cords.

You nodded.

And then the tears came. Flooding down your cheeks, like a silent waterfall. Everything that had been building up inside of you in the past couple days released, like a dam breaking, and tremors wracked your body. All the emptiness, all the confusion and frustration and incomplete-ness that you had felt drained out of you, purged from your brain as you sobbed. A river flowed down your cheeks. An ocean surged inside your brain. Jim didn’t move to embrace you or wipe the tears away, as if he knew that you needed to let this out. That this act of sorrow was not about him, but about you, and all you had lost, all you had been through. Memories flashed before your eyes, happy ones and sad ones and terrifying ones and you just let them roll over you.

They all faded except for one.

“I died, Jim. I remember dying.” You gasped and grasped the fabric of your shirt with shaking fingers.

“I know, Y/N.” He consoled with a shaking voice, “Darling, I can only imagine how hard it must be to suddenly remember all this. To suddenly remember me.”

You almost laughed at his words, how absurd they sounded. How could you ever have forgotten him? This beautiful man who held your heart in his hands.

“That’s why I didn’t want you to come see me in the medbay. I needed time to process everything, and you would have just made it a lot more complicated.” A weak smile tugged the ends of your mouth up, and you wiped at stray strands of hair that found their way onto your face.

A soft smile reached Jim’s lips as well, and you felt as if all of your energy had suddenly drained from your body, a sense of calm pouring over you as you looked at him, memories now budding and blossoming before your eyes.

You noted a passing memory and unintentionally let out a laugh.

“Do you remember shore leave that one time, when you took all the Bridge crew to see a sci-fi move and Spock spent the entire time telling us how “scientifically incorrect” it was? You smiled.

Jim looked distant, as if he was remembering as well and a smile formed on his lips, “Yeah, Bones kept shushing him and then they started bickering in the row in front of us.”

You laughed as the images formed in your mind.

Jim continued, “and after 20 minutes you and I decided to ignore them and spent the rest of the time...”

“Making out in the back row like teenagers.” You both said at the same time.

This story had been told so many times that you had memorized it and you both chuckled, the tension in the room finally easing.

“I miss you.” You exhaled shakily and your smile faded, as well as Jim’s.

Jim cocked his head to the side and gave you a sympathetic gaze, taking a step towards you, “I’m right here, Y/N, I’m with you.”

You shook your head in disagreement to his statement, “I know that, Jay, but it feels as if I am missing you like I would have if I had remembered you before, after I had woken up.” It was hard to explain in words what you were feeling.

“Like I miss the years we lost. All the days and moments and memories that we are never going to get back. I miss those.” You gasped.

Now it was Jim’s turn to shake his head, “We have our whole future ahead of us, Y/N!” His voice grew with quiet excitement, and he took another step closer to you, “Screw the last three years! They are done. Gone. And don’t get me wrong, they were the worst years of my life. It destroyed me when I thought you were gone.”

He paused and took a few shaky breaths before his sparkling blue eyes met yours and his fingers brushed yours, tugging you closer by your fingertips.

“But there is so much ahead of us, Y/N. Years and years ahead of us. It’s all right there, waiting, years that I never thought I’d get with you.”

Tears began to prick your eyes again, your emotions rising up and becoming all tangled again, “I don’t know, Jay.” You paused, staring at the floor, “I don’t even know where to start.”

You were still ensnared in the feeling of being lost, and panic began to rise in your throat at the thought of never being found again. You couldn’t find the strength to pull your eyes off the floor, couldn’t meet those expectant blue eyes for fear of internally combusting.

A warm finger pressed under your chin, tilting your head up for you, and you didn’t combust when his eyes met yours, instead it was like a lock clicking into place. The memories stopped swimming around in your brain, and instead slotted themselves into your mind, the overwhelming feeling of the constant images finally receding. It was all you could do to push air in and out of your lungs as things settled in your brain, and Jim was patient, noticing your internal struggle and waiting.

“How about we start here.” Jim breathed and your eyes flitted closed as his lips found your cheek gently.

Another memory slotted into place.

“And here.” Another kiss, to your opposite cheek.

Things grew quieter in your brain.

“Here.” A kiss to the tip of your nose, making you smile.

Silence. Only one thing on your mind now. The man with his hands in your hair and his lips mere inches from your own.

Before you could take in another breath you pressed your lips to his. Your mind completely went quiet now. You were so enveloped in the feeling of him, of Jim, of his hands moving down to your neck and his lips desperately on yours that you almost forgot to breathe.

It was not a gentle kiss. It was a kiss of longing and waiting and hoping and missing and desperation. It was hands pulling and arms wrapping and lips pressing. It was like a storm. A hurricane.

You pulled away to catch your breath, but a hand on the back of your neck kept you from going too far, and Jim held your forehead to his. You ran your shaking fingers down his chest and moved them to wrap around his back, pressing your bodies flush together.

“I love you, Y/N.” Jim said carelessly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

You froze, but thankfully he kept talking, his hand now moving to cup your cheek and you wrapped your hand around his wrist.

“And I know this is way too much for you to deal with right now, and frankly I don’t know how you are actually holding it together as well as you are, so you don’t have to say it back right away. I just want you to know that I never stopped loving you. Never. Not when I met Eve, not when I was out exploring space, not even when they handed me your ashes.”

A few tears fell from Jim’s eyes now, and you released your grip on his wrist to wipe the tears away, and he leaned into your touch.

“I missed you so much I could barely breathe. When I found you again it was like a weight was lifting off my chest.” He was starting to panic now, you could tell, his eyes growing wide and big tears straining down his cheeks, “Like I was finally free. And when you didn’t remember me? It felt like someone stabbed me in the heart over and over. You were looking at me but you weren’t seeing me. It was like I was a mirage and you couldn’t believe I was real.”

You stopped his ranting with a gentle finger to his lips.

“Shhh...” You chided and gave him a smile.

Leaning in, you pressed your lips to his softly, slotting your lips with his, sending all the love and reassurance you could into the kiss, letting him know that you were here, alive, and his.

“I love you, Jay.” You whispered as you pulled away, and watched as his face broke open with relief and he smiled.

He pulled you in for another kiss, and you smiled onto his lips, unable to hide the giddy feeling that his lips on yours elicited from you. Happiness now dripped over you, slowly blotting out all of the nervousness, all of the unsureness that you had felt before, and you leaned into him, knowing deep within that you were exactly where you belonged.

“Captain Kirk to the Bridge. Captain Kirk to the Bridge.”

A voice sounded over the paging system, interrupting your never-ending kiss. Jim seemed to ignore the call, and it was you who finally pulled back, a smile never leaving your lips.

“Jay, you have to go.” You insisted, and laughed when he dove in, trying to capture your lips with his again and you held his face away with your hands.

“No way. I’m sure they can handle whatever it is without me.” Jim griped, his eyes now sparkling and full of life as he looked at you.

“Captain Kirk to the Bridge. Captain Kirk to the Bridge.”

The voice sounded again and Jim groaned, his head falling forward into the crook of your neck, his soft hair brushing against your skin. You laughed and held the back of his head, running your fingers through his hair as you rocked gently, as if to soothe him.

“It’s okay, little Captain.” You cooed and he chuckled into your skin, sending waves of happiness over you, “We have all the time in the world now, don’t we?”

Jim lifted his head now and smoothed his hands over your waist and hips, pulling your body tight to his and meeting your eyes fiercely. He let out a deep breath and smiled, his eye closing as you carded your fingers through his hair. You reveled for a moment in the fact that you could do this again, that you could touch him and look at him and kiss him.

“That we do, beautiful, that we do.” He sighed, and tilted his head so your fingers had better access to his hair.

A surge of happiness prompted you to kiss him again, wanting nothing more than to feel his lips against yours indefinitely, forever, to never lose another day without them, without him. Jim leaned into the kiss, and you could feel him smiling beneath your lips as his fingers hooked into the fabric of your shirt.

“Captain Kirk to the Bridge. Captain Kirk to the Bridge.”

With an exasperated gasp Jim pulled away, actually stepping away from you, the sudden loss of his body against yours making you frown.

“Okay, I better go. Spock’ll have my head if I ignore the com one more time.” Jim turned towards you, his words not matching his stance, as he looked like he wanted nothing more than to wrap you in his arms again.

“How about I come with you?” You suggested, and Jim’s features lit up instantly.

“Will you? I don’t think I can bear one more second without you by my side.” Jim roused, “I keep feeling like you are going to disappear again, slip through my fingers.”

You stepped forward and entwined your fingers through his.

“I’m not going anywhere, Jay.” You avowed, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “I’m staying right by your side as long as the universe allows it.”

Jim beamed at you now and pressed a quick kiss to your lips before leading you out the door.

It was strange, walking these halls, hand-in-hand with Jim. It was familiar and new at the same time. Like a memory becoming a reality. And for once in the past week your heart didn’t feel like it was going to disappear inside your chest, you knew it was safe, protected by the man who was walking beside you, hand in yours.

Reaching the Bridge, Jim didn't let go of your hand even as he was bombarded with information and began to give orders. He made his way to his chair and sat down in it, and you stood to the side, fingers still entwined with his, and he stroked your skin as he addressed Sulu and Chekov who both smiled at you in recognition. You were ecstatic to see them as well, to be back by Jim's side. Surveying the busy room with a smile, you nodded to Spock who sat at his spot in the corner, and he nodded back. You gave a little finger wave to Uhura at her station and she gave you the biggest smile you had ever seen.

A hand came to rest on your shoulder suddenly and you looked up to see Leonard smiling down at you, and you reached your free hand up to his. "Thank you." You mouthed at him, giving his fingers a quick squeeze before he removed his hand from your shoulder.

You looked down to Jim now, in his chair, doing what he does best, and you smiled fondly down at him. His head tilted back and his eyes turned to you, a shimmer of hopefulness laced in his features, and you gave his fingers a squeeze now, and he returned the gesture.

Turning your eyes forward, to the vastness of space and time that was laid out in front of you as the Enterprise and all it's crew hurtled through the universe, you felt content and light, like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

Whether Jim had found you or you found him still remains a mystery, but you couldn't care less, because as you stood next to him, your love, your heart, surrounded by your friends and family aboard this ship, you knew everything was going to be okay.

You had found those lost days. You were home.

-Thanks for Reading! I hope you liked it!-

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