#He gets lost as sea within the Ghost Zone.

[rboooks]

DC x DP: The Adoptive Son

Danny Fenton gets lost in the Infinite Releams and without the Infinite Map, he has no hope finding his way home.

After wandering for weeks, he quickly realizes his human side is dying from lack of food and stress. With a heavy heart, he crashes lands in a new world, desperate for rest.

A new world that was seemed to behind in terms of technology. But he's not afraid of helping the world catch up if it means finding a way home.

He crashed in the middle of nowhere forest and after three days of walking by foot- too worn out to fly- he comes across Gotham.

Taking a page out of Vlad's book- as much as it makes him feel sick- he possesses people to get himself set up in the new world. He needs to find somewhere with enough money that he can build a S.O.S for his friends to find him.

And he needs resources to survive.

He finds a wealthy family who is so invested in breaking each other apart they didn't notice their sudden ease in wanting to adopt Danny.

Seemingly overnight, the Crowne family went from slowly collapsing to once more being at the top due to their adopted son Danny Crowne's genius mind. Despite his young age, his adoptive father allowed him to turn the family business from fashion design to medical and technical advances.

At age fourteen he sat within the board meetings slowly but surely taking over and raising the company's stocks and power.

They developed the first heart pumps, made leaps and bounds in cancer treatment, and created software and computer programs that and their prosthetics were the most advanced in the world.

There were rumors that the head design for all engineering projects- including the prosthetics- were all done by Danny Crowne. They were never confirmed.

Even business deals done by the Crownes were suspiciously so far in their favor many believed they were making deals with the multiple families of Gotham's underbelly.

That was also never proven.

Despite all the whispers about him, Danny Crowne was considered one of the brightest minds in Gotham. Everyone who spoke to him claimed he was a soft-spoken gentleman and was even compared to royalty from his regal composition.

Personally, Bruce has always had a bad feeling about Danny Crowne. He knows the boy is off in some way, all his Instincts scream danger when he's around.

At first, he was ecstatic to hear the Crownes had also adopted an orphan from a poor background. It had been a few years after he had gotten his ward, Dick. Despite it being five years since he first accepted Dick into his home, his ward had not made any friends besides Barbara Gordon. None of the elite children gave Dick the time of day pass making passive aggressive comments about him.

Then the news of Danny Crowne broke, and everyone knew he had practically been picked off the streets after the CPS had forced him into the juvenile hall as the only place that had space for him.

Just like Dick.

He had hoped that a similar past would help the two boys bond. He had tried pushing Dick into speaking to Danny, and had gone out of his way to personally invite the young man to a party he threw for all of Dicks classmates.

The first thing Danny Crowne did upon arriving at his house was step away from the crowd and study Bruce's home wiring. Dick later told him Danny made him feel strange, like the other boy would be one the loons they stopped during the night.

Bruce, stop pushing for their friendship.

Time moved on, but Crownes only grew in power, and by the time he took in Jason, Danny Crowne inherited his family assets after his adoptive parents mysterious deaths.

They began to look into Danny after Nightwing had discovered a trail of dangerous experiments from shell companies that all led back to Crowne Co. Jason also mentioned that a lot of street kids disappeared after Danny Crowne had turn his sights on them with a new charity program his company ran.

No one knew what happened to the kids and no one in the legal system seemed to care.

Bruce thought about the Crownes rise to wealth and felt sick. Had Danny been running a trafficking ring since his adoption? Had that escaped Batman's notice for four years?

Despite the fact they were still at eachother throats, both Bruce and Dick agreed to work togther to bring Danny Crowne down. How?

Simple.

Danny Crowne was openly bisexual and, according to Jason, who was half-raised by working girls, his eyes always followed Dick around the room.

Operation Honey Pot was a go.

(Danny didn't mean to stay here for four years but had built himself a home, and no natural portals were opening. He figured he could secretly construct his while helping abused kids find safe ways out of the city and start new lives. Technically illegal, no one had batted an eye when the kids vanished, so he figured getting them somewhere safe was more important. Indeed Batman had better things to do than track down kids in better foster homes. He test-ran the homes himself before placing the children. Yes, overshadowing made him feel bad, but he rather experienced the house before overshadowing the social workers into legalizing the stay under new names. He was sick of them sticking kids in juvenile halls just cause other foster homes were "out of jurisdiction".

At least his charities helped the age out kids succeed in life.

Now why was handsome Dick Grayson winking at him??? Gosh, that made him more nervous than all the lessons Clockwork forced him to take back when he was training to take the Ghost Throne. The classes helped him become one of the best CEO in the world, but they were also the reason he got into this whole mess to begin with. At least he looked regal when he spoke. )

( Part 2 ) (part 3)

#dc x dp crossover #Danny was trainging to be Ghost King #He gets lost as sea within the Ghost Zone. #overshadowing his way to success #the Bats think hes a Lex Luthor #Dannys dimension is futher in tech and hes proving his fenton Genius genes #Bi disaster Danny Fenton

[sansxfuckyou]

Stardust

Stranded in the icy grips of space he was surrounded by stars, he could count for an eternity and never get the true number.

He loved it out here, beyond any and all life.

He was where he belonged.

In outer space, quenching his obsessions thirst and leaving the other to die.

His need to protect had never been his real mind numbing craving, he wanted to fulfill his dream of being in space, the infinite stretches of a black blanket of stars and swirls of galaxies.

He needed this for his own good, just looking out telescopes and drifting along the edge of the atmosphere had stopped being enough.

His body had started to change as well, gaining in size till he was large enough to swallow smaller stars themselves like they were mere snacks, planets and larger stars baubles in his collections of prized possessions, he had the strength to create his own solar systems for all he cared.

His extra arms and darkened, misty form scattered in faux stars allowed him to drift for an eternity without intercepting any planets view of the stars, he could remain unnoticed for as long as he wanted.

He rarely stepped foot in the ghost zone anymore as he was a sun devourer by now, to large to fit into any biome except the pressurized seas of ectoplasm below with the ghosts that still dwarfed him as core eaters, he was in constant fear of being devoured by them whenever he returned for ectoplasm to make sure he didn't die.

Danny Phantom truly was all he ever wanted to be now, a being lost within the infinite reaches of stardust littered galaxies, becoming one with the throws of outer space as he craved.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #drabble #writing #phanphic #phan phic #fanfic #phanfic #phanfiction #fanfiction #phan fic #stardust!danny

[aggressivelyclueless]

abyss

in which danny discovers the midnight zone

contains: the descent

warning: some deep-sea creepy-crawly imagery, anxiety, existential loneliness

The starmap in Danny's hand glittered as if it were the night sky itself.  Under his glowing and scrutinous stare, the invisible ink came to life, detailing his slowly-increasing understanding of the Ghost Zone and guiding him through its deepening mysteries.  Nevermind the fact that, at the moment, there were a few, somewhat sizeable, gaps.

He knew exactly what he was doing.  He was exploring.

Not lost.  No, definitely not lost.

The Zone was infinite, but the emptiness began to creep up this far from the portal.  Away from tethered structures and the lairs of spirits he knew, deep swirls of green and cosmic purple were all that was left, shifting equally above and below him in the expanse.  He flew on, quite certain now that he'd gone off the edge of his handdrawn map.

How far, though, he wondered.  He could gauge distance and speed fairly well, so long as there was some tethered structure to anchor his perspective.  Out here, there was nothing.

Just empty space.

At the moment, he was glad that he didn't have to worry about breathing this far out.  That meant he could go for hours without turning back.

It took him longer than he'd later admit to notice the oncoming darkness.  It didn't bother him in the slightest, as it was a perfectly comfortable thing for a ghost, and the longer he flew on, occasionally swerving this way or that, the deeper the twirling cosmos around him became.  Glowing lime gave way to a serious, murky green; purple turned inky and dulled almost to black.

He didn't expect the emptiness itself to begin to press in on him.  It crept slowly, a little at a time so that he almost didn't notice it at all: an anxious claustrophobia, like a hand in his chest that was slowly curling its fingers around him.  What happened to that awestruck astronaut feeling?  He wished for it back but it was gone, replaced by an encroaching discomfort, almost as if he couldn't breathe.

Only, he didn't need to breathe.  This feeling went deeper.

Danny tried to shut it out.  Just a little longer, then he'd find something, then he'd get his bearings again.  He wasn't worried, not too worried anyhow, and it was only because of that odd and leering feeling that he was nervous at all.  He'd gotten the same one the first time he'd explored the Zone, but that had been months ago and he was sure he'd gotten over it by now.

Above him, the last holdouts of green blurred away into a haze the color of stale pondwater, and the loneliness smacked him all at once  He knew, in that moment, exactly how far he'd come.

Deep space.

The crystalline tangle in his chest twisted, prodding him with needles of frost and uncertainty.  Would he be able to find his way back?

If he didn't - who would even know he was out here?

Something, somewhere through the murk, was moving, and his gut turned prow-down and sunk.  Everything around him was monotonous and grey-green, but something had to be casting that long thin shadow that drifted into his view.

Against being alone, Danny took the chance.  He went for it.

He realized he'd miscalculated as the shadow moved.  It wasn't some massive thing in the distance, some twisting spire of the Zone or some ghost's lair.  It was some kind of ghost.

Some kind of ghost, as far as Danny could guess.  It was trailing and ribbon-shaped, the hard edges of its body obscured by darkness.  He'd seen spirits that manifested as shadows, but this was different; it was somehow more than a shadow, as if it was sucking in the light around it rather than simply declining to appear within it.

It curled away from him, and then went still again.  It didn't seem hostile - or at least he hoped it wasn't - and he let it keep the distance, skirting well enough around it before pressing on.  The hand in his chest tightened another degree, making him pause and drift for a moment.

What could possibly be causing that feeling?

The grey-green around him was settling slowly towards black, and the hard, almost-suffocating feeling became crushing.  Danny clutched at himself, as if there was something looping itself around him that he could pull free from or push away; his hands, of course, came up empty.

And then everything around him was black.

Part of him expected that he'd pass out.  It seemed to him somehow, like he was supposed to, that once everything around him faded away, he was meant to fade along with it.

The thing was, though - he didn't.  He was still aware, still thinking, even though his body was drifting along and responding to his mind and moving around.  He saw nothing around him because there wasn't a single thing out there to see, and the unnatural silence when his heart stilled was a clamor in comparison to this one.

It was a silence so deep that he knew  - he could actually feel - that he was completely alone in the universe.  The stars had gone out.  The void was crushing him.  Even his ghostly intuition was slowly settling down, as if it knew he couldn't sense a thing, and wouldn't bother to keep searching.

This wasn't deep space.  This was the deep sea, where the pressure could crush anything it caught like a tin can.  It was crushing Danny, slowly but surely, not physically as the ocean could, but it was steadily shutting him down.

To acclimate to the depths was, in human terms, impossible.  Living things suited for land, or for the shallows, could not adjust to the immense pressure, or the deepening cold; ghosts, by nature, rarely grew or adapted at all, let alone to such an extreme.  They had long ago deemed this place uninhabitable.

He floated on, his senses dulled by the freezing depths.  He was weightless, and at the same time he felt he was sinking.  How was he supposed to find his way back?  There was no up or down here, only an infinite expanse of blackness.  When would he see the stars again?

Or, when he got desperate enough, would he start to imagine them?

The deepest reaches of the Zone were empty.  No ghost could possibly survive here.  But, then again, Danny was not a simple ghost, and even the unfathomable depths, there was life.  Few, far between, alien - unrecognizable by the standards of any ghost.

Things that emitted darkness rather than light; things that snapped and crushed and consumed anything they encountered; things that stored so little energy that they couldn’t be sensed as ghosts at all, and things that had discarded and forgotten a sense that could no longer be used; things that possessed threadlike and trailing bodies; things that twisted and churned in the void, without direction; things that had been dead for so long that they descended backward in time.

The deepest abyss of the Ghost Zone.  Anything and everything in it was on the hunt for so much as a scrap of leftover energy from above.

The starmap in Danny’s hand was forgotten.  Its glow went out, eaten up by the many-legged and crawling things that fed on tiny winks of light.  Sight was useless; his ghost-sense was useless; if there was any surviving here, it would be through other means, other ways to hunt and feed, other ways to save any bare morsel of energy he could by shutting down anything he couldn’t use.

And what else could Danny do, in those depths, than survive?

#Ectober Month 2021 #Ectoberhaunt 2021 #Ectoberhaunt Trick #danny phantom #fanfiction #ectober

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 2 of 26

Title: Authority (The Southern Reach #2) (2014) - REREAD

Author: Jeff VanderMeer

Genre/Tags: Horror, Science Fiction, Ecological Horror, Cosmic Horror, Mystery, Weird, Third-Person, Unreliable Narrator

Rating: 8/10

Date Began: 1/05/2021

Date Finished: 1/10/2021

John "Control" Rodriguez, a disgraced former spy, is given an opportunity to redeem himself at the Southern Reach, the clandestine organization that oversees the mysterious and horrifying Area X. The director has gone missing following the disastrous "twelfth" expedition in Annihilation. Control is brought in to take over her job and fix the Southern Reach... and perhaps find a way to combat the insidious, paranormal effects of Area X.

But Control soon discovers just how deep Area X's corruption infects the place. Even worse, failures of the past-- both his own and those of the Southern Reach-- return to haunt him in disturbing ways. Badly outmatched within and without, Control will need to do everything he can to save not only the organization, but himself.

The last fragment of video remained in its own category: "Unassigned." Everyone was dead by then, except for an injured Lowry, already halfway back to the border.

Yet for a good twenty seconds the camera flew above the glimmering marsh reeds, the deep blue lakes, the ragged white cusp of the sea, toward the lighthouse.

Dipped and rose, fell again and soared again.

With what seemed like a horrifying enthusiasm.

An all-consuming joy.  

Full review, some spoilers, and content warning(s) under the cut.

Content warnings for the book: some body horror but way toned down compared to Annihilation. Mind control/hypnotic suggestion is still a thing. Non graphic sexual content. Disturbing images. Without spoiling the entire book, there are several scenes that come off as gaslighting, but do have an alternate explanation. As before, a pervasive sense of unreality.  

While Annihilation is a deep dive into the horrors of Area X, Authority takes a step back. It examines the situation from the perspective of the Southern Reach, the organization that oversees the expeditions we got to know so intimately in the last book. Control is a newcomer, so he functions as a natural outsider perspective. However, he's far from naïve due to his past experience in what I have to assume is the CIA (just called "Central" in the book). It's clear from the get-go that the Southern Reach is falling apart with its ancient buildings, circular and helpless theories, dwindling funding, and bizarre office politics. While Annihilation frames the Southern Reach as shady and possibly complicit in Area X's existence, Authority demonstrates the government would be predictably bad at handling an unknowable cosmic horror zone over any length of time.

Though I noted in my Annihilation review that most of the mystery surrounding Area X remains just that, Authority casually drops two major revelations in the first few chapters. First is... it's definitely aliens, right? Like, that's the only explanation that tracks-- why everything about the place is anathema to humanity, why it's impossible for characters to fully understand it, why mimicry is such a major aspect, etc. If you didn't suspect this already, it explains a lot. In particular, the "colonization" terminology and imagery in Annihilation hits different in that context. I have a lot of feelings about how this series approaches the extraterrestrial, but I'll save that for my Acceptance review.

The second reveal is that Control is taking over for the former director of the Southern Reach, who is MIA following Annihilation's "twelfth" expedition. Who is the director? The psychologist-- the pseudo antagonist of the last book, who we know got Super Killed Off. Turns out she's important and probably not actually evil? The biologist is also inexplicably back, but something is off about her, and she insists on being called Ghost Bird now. Did the biologist truly return (counter to the ending of the last book) or is this one of the shells Area X sometimes spits back out into the real world? If she's the latter, Ghost Bird seems to have much more personality and self awareness than the others. It is interesting to consider an entity of Area X would willingly name herself.

So, Authority is a weird book. The horror element is still present, but toned down. Instead, there's a lot of focus on the new character Control, his past, and the workings of the Southern Reach. In some ways this is refreshing. Annihilation (and the finale Acceptance) are so deeply entwined with Area X it's hard to see what "normal" looks like, and Authority brings that perspective. Relatively speaking. Second, and this is a spoiler, much of that normalcy is a facade. Control is basically mind controlled (heh) by a faction in Central, and is unaware of it for most of the book. It comes across in little ways, like the anachronistic storytelling and Control's confusion/disorientation at times.

We also learn that Area X doesn't just contaminate things inside it, but things outside it as well... and it's been doing this for some time. As a result, there's always a sense of Area X lurking in the periphery, manifesting in strange and unexpected ways. Something I like is the background chatter Control overhears being lines from Annihilation, which he isn't aware of, but the reader sure is.

I've read this book a few times, and while there are things I really like about it, it's probably my least favorite of the trilogy. I think the slower pacing and different narrative approach have merits, but just aren't as interesting to me as the rest of the series. It's noteworthy that my favorite bits in Authority are the disturbing video of the first expedition and the sudden End of Evangelion-esque return of Area X near the end-- not the espionage and philosophical tangents that comprise most of the book.  There are several ideas that seem interesting but don't go anywhere, and those feel like a waste of space. I think Authority could be pared down to half its page count and still get across the same feelings and general concept.

Control is also not the most interesting protagonist, especially compared to previous and later characters. He's not terrible, but he spends most of his time just thinking in circles and observing mundane office politics. While this is fine at first it starts to drag as the story goes on. As I said, a lot of tangents go nowhere, and there's not much going on beyond those until well over halfway into the book. Control does have a hidden tragic backstory, and it's interesting enough, but it barely factors into the overarching Area X storyline outside some symbolic comparisons. He feels out of place, perhaps intentionally.

I do like the dry humor and observations Control brings and how they contrast with the intense tone of Annihilation. I can also see the appeal of having a more ordinary character, if only to bring context to the extraordinary. But the problem is Control isn't ordinary. He's the youngest member of a dynasty of professional spies! Yet somehow I just don't find him exciting compared to an antisocial biologist. I dunno. Ultimately Control is a pawn in the story, used and manipulated by other people, and (spoilers) this doesn't change in Acceptance.

I had similar dilemmas with VanderMeer's Ambergris books, particularly book two, so perhaps it's a fact about his writing. When it's good it's GOOD, but sometimes the things I like get lost in rambling narrative fluff. The question is whether getting through the less interesting parts is worth it for the really good parts. With The Southern Reach trilogy, I'd argue the latter. I have no issues with the style or pacing in Annihilation or Acceptance, and the overarching story is fascinating.

I've mentioned many times before that I usually struggle with book twos in trilogies, and this one isn't an exception. However, I do appreciate what Authority is going for on a meta and lore level when viewing the series as a whole. It does establish a lot of things that either explain earlier stuff or pay off later; it just takes a while to get to them. The context of everything else bumps this to an 8.   

#taylor reads #8/10 #2021 reading challenge #google why was this image so crisp yet i couldn't find anything good for annihilation. biphobia at its finest #i like how this review turned out :>

[blindrapture]

oh my god I fucking found it.

I wanted to find an easy way of reading Dante’s Inferno New Game Plus without having to boot up Frog Fractions 2 and go digging for it, so I opened up the game’s files and starting opening shit in notepad, and the first file I tried did indeed have it. All of it.

Some highlights:

‘You cannot hide or run from the Nacho Man, My arm is long and my eyes see into space; There is no nation that is not the Nacho Nation; Of all the world I am the savior, Pedal to the metal!  Everybody knows it! Oh yeah, let me tell you what I'll do; Through every city shall I will hunt her down, Until I have driven her back to Hell, Where some weaksauce demon let her loose. I know what's best and what is MACHO! Follow me buddy, and I will be your guide, We're going to have a real adventure. You're going to see some pretty gnarly stuff Some ancient ghosts and boogums that go woo, Maybe you'll be sad if you're a wuss; You'll also see some pretty happy folks They're happy mostly because I visit them, Everybody treasures a visit from the Nacho; If you want to go to heaven afterwords, To meet your ladyfriend or whatever; That's where we'll part ways I guess; Because that rightious dude who rules heaven, Has tasked me with bringing macho madness To those less fortunate, so I remain. Heaven is the most macho city of all; And until all are macho I must wait; This is my holy task, a righteous one.'

'Tell me, my Master, tell me, thou my Lord,' Began I, with desire of being certain Of that Faith which o'ercometh every error, 'Came any one by his own merit hence, Or by another's, who was blessed thereafter?' And he, who understood my covert speech, Replied: 'When I first got here, When from the sky a long-haired dude appeared, Almost as glorious as the Nacho Man himself. He grabbed some Bible dudes, I  think they were Abe and Abel and Noah's Ark but not Noah, I think Moses was there too?  It was rad. There were a bunch of others but honestly I can't be bothered to remember right now It really isn't important Past, present, future, It's the best there is. Ohhhh yeah. And then that guy left and never came back.’

I was bent downward, but my living eyes Could not attain the bottom, for the dark; Wherefore I: 'Master, see that thou arrive At the next round, and let us descend the wall; For as from hence I hear and understand not, So I look down and nothing I distinguish.' 'Don't talk,' he said, 'for a while, Seriously.  You fill the air with noise And not the type of madness that I love.'

Wherefore I said: 'Master, these torments here, Will they increase after the mighty sentence, Or lesser be, or will they be as burning?' And he to me: 'Man do I look like a prohpet? Whatever is gonig to happen is going to happen, And I have no way of knowing which is which. These folks are trapped here forever They can't get into heaven, so who cares? It's harsh, but that's how the chips fall.'

'Pape Satan, Pape Satan, Aleppe!' Thus Plutus with his clucking voice began; And that benignant Sage, who all things knew, Said, to encourage me: 'Don't wig out, We are too macho for this jive turkey, He can't stop us entering the danger zone.' Then he turned round unto that bloated lip, And said: 'Shut up you freakshow; Why not eat yourself for a change? We got a divine purpose, higher than Nachos; The big man upstairs sent us so beat it, We're soaring eagles, you are a slithering snake.'

Dante’s Inferno featuring Randy Savage, below the break.

I N F E R N O N E W  G A M E  P L U S >By Dante Alighieri !CANTO I. Midway upon the journey of our life I found myself within a forest dark, For the straightforward pathway had been lost. Ah me! how hard a thing it is to say What was this forest savage, rough, and stern, Which in the very thought renews the fear. So bitter is it, death is little more; But of the good to treat, which there I found, Speak will I of the other things I saw there. 10/I cannot well repeat how there I entered, So full was I of slumber at the moment In which I had abandoned the true way. But after I had reached a mountain's foot, At that point where the valley terminated, Which had with consternation pierced my heart, Upward I looked, and I beheld its shoulders, Vested already with that planet's rays Which leadeth others right by every road. Then was the fear a little quieted 20/That in my heart's lake had endured throughout The night, which I had passed so piteously. And even as he, who, with distressful breath, Forth issued from the sea upon the shore, Turns to the water perilous and gazes; So did my soul, that still was fleeing onward, Turn itself back to re-behold the pass Which never yet a living person left. After my weary body I had rested, The way resumed I on the desert slope, 30/So that the firm foot ever was the lower. And lo! almost where the ascent began, A panther light and swift exceedingly, Which with a spotted skin was covered o'er! And never moved she from before my face, Nay, rather did impede so much my way, That many times I to return had turned. The time was the beginning of the morning, And up the sun was mounting with those stars That with him were, what time the Love Divine 40/At first in motion set those beauteous things; So were to me occasion of good hope, The variegated skin of that wild beast, The hour of time, and the delicious season; But not so much, that did not give me fear A lion's aspect which appeared to me. He seemed as if against me he were coming With head uplifted, and with ravenous hunger, So that it seemed the air was afraid of him; And a she-wolf, that with all hungerings 50/Seemed to be laden in her meagreness, And many folk has caused to live forlorn! She brought upon me so much heaviness, With the affright that from her aspect came, That I the hope relinquished of the height. And as he is who willingly acquires, And the time comes that causes him to lose, Who weeps in all his thoughts and is despondent, E'en such made me that beast withouten peace, Which, coming on against me by degrees 60/Thrust me back thither where the sun is silent. While I was rushing downward to the lowland, Before mine eyes did one present himself, Who seemed from long-continued silence hoarse. When I beheld him in the desert vast, 'Have pity on me,' unto him I cried, 'Whiche'er thou art, or shade or real man!' He answered me: A man;  a macho man I am, And both my parents were of Ohio, And American by country both of them. 70/'Randy Poffo' was I born, though it was late, And lived at Columbus under the good Eisenhower, During the time of the war in Vietnam. An athlete was I, and I batted in the minors those red birds of Saint Louis, Cardinals, Before the Macho Man took to combat. But brother, why are you going back to such annoyance? Why aren't you heading up to heaven instead, Where all the good people always go?' 'Now, art thou that Macho Man and that fighter 80/To whom there is no limit but the sky?' I made response to him with bashful forehead. 'O, of the other wrestlers honour and light, Avail me the long study and great love That have impelled me to explore thy technique! Thou art my master, and my author thou, Thou art alone the one from whom I took The beautiful style that has done honour to me. Behold the beast, for which I have turned back; Do thou protect me from her, famous Sage, 90/For she doth make my veins and pulses tremble.' 'You should head to somewhere less grody,' Responded he, when he beheld me weeping, 'Unlike me, you cannot afford to look ridiculous; Because this beast, at which you are raging, Doesn't ever let anybody past her, She'll mess you up something wicked; She, like me, is a tower of power She is funky like a monkey and hungry too, And after food is hungrier than before. 100/Let me tell you something buddy, She may be strong but compared to her I'm stronger! She better watch out because I'm coming for her. You cannot hide or run from the Nacho Man, My arm is long and my eyes see into space; There is no nation that is not the Nacho Nation; Of all the world I am the savior, Pedal to the metal!  Everybody knows it! Oh yeah, let me tell you what I'll do; Through every city shall I will hunt her down, 110/Until I have driven her back to Hell, Where some weaksauce demon let her loose. I know what's best and what is MACHO! Follow me buddy, and I will be your guide, We're going to have a real adventure. You're going to see some pretty gnarly stuff Some ancient ghosts and boogums that go woo, Maybe you'll be sad if you're a wuss; You'll also see some pretty happy folks They're happy mostly because I visit them, 120/Everybody treasures a visit from the Nacho; If you want to go to heaven afterwords, To meet your ladyfriend or whatever; That's where we'll part ways I guess; Because that rightious dude who rules heaven, Has tasked me with bringing macho madness To those less fortunate, so I remain. Heaven is the most macho city of all; And until all are macho I must wait; This is my holy task, a righteous one.' 130/And I to him: 'Sir, I thee entreat, By that same God whom thou didst never know, So that I may escape this woe and worse, Thou wouldst conduct me there where thou hast said, That I may see the portal of Saint Peter, And those thou makest so disconsolate.' Then he moved on, and I behind him followed. !CANTO II. Day was departing, and the embrowned air Released the animals that are on earth From their fatigues; and I the only one Made myself ready to sustain the war, Both of the way and likewise of the woe, Which memory that errs not shall retrace. O Muses, O high genius, now assist me! O memory, that didst write down what I saw, Here thy nobility shall be manifest! 10/And I began: 'Poet, who guidest me, Regard my manhood, if it be sufficient, Ere to the arduous pass thou dost confide me. Thou sayest, that of Silvius the parent, While yet corruptible, unto the world Immortal went, and was there bodily. But if the adversary of all evil Was courteous, thinking of the high effect That issue would from him, and who, and what, To men of intellect unmeet it seems not; 20/For he was of great Rome, and of her empire In the empyreal heaven as father chosen; The which and what, wishing to speak the truth, Were stablished as the holy place, wherein Sits the successor of the greatest Peter. Upon this journey, whence thou givest him vaunt, Things did he hear, which the occasion were Both of his victory and the papal mantle. Thither went afterwards the Chosen Vessel, To bring back comfort thence unto that Faith, 30/Which of salvation's way is the beginning. But I, why thither come, or who concedes it? I not Aeneas am, I am not Paul, Nor I, nor others, think me worthy of it. Therefore, if I resign myself to come, I fear the coming may be ill-advised; Thou'rt wise, and knowest better than I speak.' And as he is, who unwills what he willed, And by new thoughts doth his intention change, So that from his design he quite withdraws, 40/Such I became, upon that dark hillside, Because, in thinking, I consumed the emprise, Which was so very prompt in the beginning. 'If the Macho Man catches your drift,' Replied that shade of the Champion, 'You're a giant coward baby whiner, And your lameness drags you down awful fierce, It makes you shake like a sad puppydog, Like some sort of weird lame animal thing. Nevertheless stick with the Macho Man 50/And I'll tell you why I'm here right now And why a champ like me would help you. I was pumping iron at the gym one day, When a hot lady ghost came up to me I cannot refuse a pretty lady. She had these killer eyes like wow; And her voice really revved my engine, Here's the madness that she spoke: 'O spirit courteous of Mantua, Of whom the fame still in the world endures, 60/And shall endure, long-lasting as the world; A friend of mine, and not the friend of fortune, Upon the desert slope is so impeded Upon his way, that he has turned through terror, And may, I fear, already be so lost, That I too late have risen to his succour, From that which I have heard of him in Heaven. Bestir thee now, and with thy speech ornate, And with what needful is for his release, Assist him so, that I may be consoled. 70/Beatrice am I, who do bid thee go; I come from there, where I would fain return; Love moved me, which compelleth me to speak. When I shall be in presence of my Lord, Full often will I praise thee unto him.' Then paused she, and thereafter I began: Beatrice, you're super hot I cannot resist. I'll do whatever you say. Nobody else in heaven is as rad as you. I'll happily do whatever you want 80/It's a pleasure to please a lady like you Consider your every desire fulfilled But could you do the Macho one favor It's a lot of work you've asked me to do, So if you could snap into a Slim Jim that'd be rad.' 'Since thou wouldst fain so inwardly discern, Briefly will I relate,' she answered me, 'Why I am not afraid to enter here. Of those things only should one be afraid Which have the power of doing others harm; 90/Of the rest, no; because they are not fearful. God in his mercy such created me That misery of yours attains me not, Nor any flame assails me of this burning. A gentle Lady is in Heaven, who grieves At this impediment, to which I send thee, So that stern judgment there above is broken. In her entreaty she besought Lucia, And said, 'Thy faithful one now stands in need Of thee, and unto thee I recommend him.' 100/Lucia, foe of all that cruel is, Hastened away, and came unto the place Where I was sitting with the ancient Rachel. 'Beatrice' said she, 'the true praise of God, Why succourest thou not him, who loved thee so, For thee he issued from the vulgar herd? Dost thou not hear the pity of his plaint? Dost thou not see the death that combats him Beside that flood, where ocean has no vaunt?' Never were persons in the world so swift 110/To work their weal and to escape their woe, As I, after such words as these were uttered, Came hither downward from my blessed seat, Confiding in thy dignified discourse, Which honours thee, and those who've listened to it.' After she said all that stuff, She was crying, my pecs left her in awe; So I left before I could further blow her mind; And so I found you like she wanted; I totally rocked that wild monster, 120/That was blocking your climb up the mountain. So why is it you're being so lame? What is holding back your Macho Spirit? Why aren't you as cool as I am? Given that three hot chicks are waiting They're in Heaven right now watching the clock, You can trust my word on that my friend.' Even as the flowerets, by nocturnal chill, Bowed down and closed, when the sun whitens them, Uplift themselves all open on their stems; 130/Such I became with my exhausted strength, And such good courage to my heart there coursed, That I began, like an intrepid person: 'O she compassionate, who succoured me, And courteous thou, who hast obeyed so soon The words of truth which she addressed to thee! Thou hast my heart so with desire disposed To the adventure, with these words of thine, That to my first intent I have returned. Now go, for one sole will is in us both, 140/Thou Leader, and thou Lord, and Master thou.' Thus said I to him; and when he had moved, I entered on the deep and savage way. !CANTO III. Through me the way is to the city dolent; Through me the way is to eternal dole; Through me the way among the people lost. Justice incited my sublime Creator; Created me divine Omnipotence, The highest Wisdom and the primal Love. Before me there were no created things, Only eterne, and I eternal last. All hope abandon, ye who enter in!' 10/These words in sombre colour I beheld Written upon the summit of a gate; Whence I: 'Their sense is, Master, hard to me!' And he to me, as one experienced: 'Just don't be suspicious, lil' macho, If you're scared then you'll never make it. We're coming up to a lame-ass place Full of bummed-out sad people Who honestly are not the smartest.' And after he had laid his hand on mine 20/With joyful mien, whence I was comforted, He led me in among the secret things. There sighs, complaints, and ululations loud Resounded through the air without a star, Whence I, at the beginning, wept thereat. Languages diverse, horrible dialects, Accents of anger, words of agony, And voices high and hoarse, with sound of hands, Made up a tumult that goes whirling on For ever in that air for ever black, 30/Even as the sand doth, when the whirlwind breathes. And I, who had my head with horror bound, Said:'Master, what is this which now I hear? What folk is this, which seems by pain so vanquished?' And he to me: 'The way they whine And complain about being in pain Teminds them that they're in pain.  It's weird. They're basically just Angels who were selfish I dunno, they didn't go for God or Satan Mostly they just cared about themselves. 40/They got kicked out of heaven But Hell sure as hell won't take them, So really they're like angel hobos.' And I: 'O Master, what so grievous is To these, that maketh them lament so sore?' He answered: 'Alright, well in a nutshell. They can't evr hope to die, Their life as is ain't funky enough, So they just envy everybody else. They have no reputation at all; 50/Good folks and bad both hate them. So gawk if you want, but lets keep rolling.' And I, who looked again, beheld a banner, Which, whirling round, ran on so rapidly, That of all pause it seemed to me indignant; And after it there came so long a train Of people, that I ne'er would have believed That ever Death so many had undone. When some among them I had recognised. I looked, and I beheld the shade of him 60/Who made through cowardice the great refusal. Forthwith I comprehended, and was certain, That this the sect was of the caitiff wretches Hateful to God and to his enemies. These miscreants, who never were alive, Were naked, and were stung exceedingly By gadflies and by hornets that were there. These did their faces irrigate with blood, Which, with their tears commingled, at their feet By the disgusting worms was gathered up. 70/And when to gazing farther I betook me. People I saw on a great river's bank; Whence said I: ' Master, now vouchsafe to me, That I may know who these are, and what law Makes them appear so ready to pass over, As I discern athwart the dusky light.' And he to me: 'Jesus Christ dude You ask so many, TOO many questions Once we get to the river you'll see.' Then with mine eyes ashamed and downward cast, 80/Fearing my words might irksome be to him, From speech refrained I till we reached the river. And lo! towards us coming in a boat An old man, hoary with the hair of eld, Crying: ' Woe unto you, ye souls depraved Hope nevermore to look upon the heavens; I come to lead you to the other shore, To the eternal shades in heat and frost. And thou, that yonder standest, living soul, Withdraw thee from these people, who are dead- 90/But when he saw that I did not withdraw, He said:'By other ways, by other ports Thou to the shore shalt come, not here, for,passage; A lighter vessel needs must carry thee.' And unto him the Guide:'Vex thee not, Charon; It is so willed there where is power to do That which is willed; and farther question not.' There at were quieted the fleecy cheeks Of him the ferryman of the livid fen, Who round about his eyes had wheels of flame. 100/But all those souls who weary were and naked Their colour changed and gnashed their teeth together, As soon as they had heard those cruel words. God they blasphemed and their progenitors, The human race, the place, the time, the seed Of their engendering and of their birth! Thereafter all together they drew back, Bitterly weeping, to the accursed shore, Which waiteth every man who fears not God. Charon the demon, with the eyes of glede, 110/Beckoning to them, collects them all together, Beats with his oar whoever lags behind. As in the autumn-time the leaves fall off, First one and then another, till the branch Unto the earth surrenders all its spoils; In similar wise the evil seed of Adam Throw themselves from that margin one by one, At signals, as a bird unto its lure. So they depart across the dusky wave, And ere upon the other side they land, 120/Again on this side a new troop assembles. 'My son,'the courteous Master said to me, 'All those who perish in the wrath of God Here meet together out of every land; And ready are they to pass o'er the river, Because celestial Justice spurs them on, So that their fear is turned into desire. This way there never passes a good soul; And hence if Charon doth complain of thee Well mayst thou know now what his speech imports.' 130/This being finished, all the dusk champaign Trembled so violently, that of that terror The recollection bathes me still with sweat. The land of tears gave forth a blast of wind, And fulminated a vermilion light, 'Which overmastered in me every sense, And as a man whom sleep hath seized I fell. !CANTO IV. Broke the deep lethargy within my head A heavy thunder, so that I upstarted, Like to a person who by force is wakened; And round about I moved my rested eyes, Uprisen erect, and steadfastly I gazed, To recognise the place wherein I was. True is it, that upon the verge I found me Of the abysmal valley dolorous, That gathers thunder of infinite ululations. 10/Obscure, profound it was, and nebulous, So that by fixing on its depths my sight Nothing whatever I discerned therein. 'We're in space, and space is the place,' Began the Champ, pallid utterly; 'The madness is running wild, and so shall you.' And I, who of his colour was aware, Said: 'How shall I come, if thou art afraid, Who'rt wont to be a comfort to my fears?' And he to me: 'Let me tell you now a man 20/of my position can afford to look ridiculous at any time. Now let's go, follow the Nacho Man.' Thus he went in, and thus he made me enter The foremost circle that surrounds the abyss. There, as it seemed to me from listening, Were lamentations none, but only sighs, That tremble made the everlasting air. And this arose from sorrow without torment, Which the crowds had, that many were and great, 30/Of infants and of women and of men. To me the Master good: 'Why don't you ask Who these dead dudes you're looking at are? Let me tell you about these chumps, They didn't do anything really wrong, But they could not snap into a Slim Jim Because the Slim Jim had not yet been discovered; And if they were before Sim Jims, In the right manner they adored not jerkey; They never knew the breakfast of champions. 40/As a result, they can't go to heaven, I am here as well, mostly to mock them For I did not share my Slim Jims.' Great grief seized on my heart when this I heard, Because some people of much worthiness I knew, who in that Limbo were suspended. 'Tell me, my Master, tell me, thou my Lord,' Began I, with desire of being certain Of that Faith which o'ercometh every error, 'Came any one by his own merit hence, 50/Or by another's, who was blessed thereafter?' And he, who understood my covert speech, Replied: 'When I first got here, When from the sky a long-haired dude appeared, Almost as glorious as the Nacho Man himself. He grabbed some Bible dudes, I  think they were Abe and Abel and Noah's Ark but not Noah, I think Moses was there too?  It was rad. There were a bunch of others but honestly I can't be bothered to remember right now 60/It really isn't important Past, present, future, It's the best there is. Ohhhh yeah. And then that guy left and never came back.’ We ceased not to advance because he spake, But still were passing onward through the forest, The forest, say I, of thick-crowded ghosts. Not very far as yet our way had gone This side the summit, when I saw a fire That overcame a hemisphere of darkness. 70/We were a little distant from it still, But not so far that I in part discerned not That honourable people held that place. 'O thou who honourest every art and science, Who may these be, which such great honour have, That from the fashion of the rest it parts them?' And he to me: 'The honourable name, That sounds of them above there in thy life, Wins grace in Heaven, that so advances them.' In the mean time a voice was heard by me: 80/'All honour be to the pre-eminent Poet; His shade returns again, that was departed.' After the voice had ceased and quiet was, Four mighty shades I saw approaching us; Semblance had they nor sorrowful nor glad. To say to me began my gracious Champion: 'This is a Dude named Dante, and you know me, The one for whom the sky is the limit. That one is Andre, Wrestler sovereign; Next to him is Bubba Rogers, the satirist; 90/The third is Roddy, and the last is Albano. I knew these guys when I was alive We fought and laughed and ate delicious nachos, And now we chill for all eternity' Thus I beheld assemble the fair school Of that lord of the song pre-eminent, Who o'er the others like an eagle soars. When they together had discoursed somewhat, They turned to me with signs of salutation, And on beholding this, my Master smiled; 100/And more of honour still, much more, they did me, In that they made me one of their own band; So that the sixth was I, 'mid so much wit. Thus we went on as far as to the light, Things saying 'tis becoming to keep silent, As was the saying of them where I was. We came unto a noble castle's foot, Seven times encompassed with lofty walls, Defended round by a fair rivulet; This we passed over even as firm ground; 110/Through portals seven I entered with these Sages; We came into a meadow of fresh verdure. People were there with solemn eyes and slow, Of great authority in their countenance; They spake but seldom, and with gentle voices. Thus we withdrew ourselves upon one side Into an opening luminous and lofty, So that they all of them were visible. There opposite, upon the green enamel, Were pointed out to me the mighty spirits, 120/Whom to have seen I feel myself exalted. I saw Sid Vicious with companions many, 'Mongst whom I knew both Nash and Wright, Rodman in armour with gerfalcon eyes; I saw Miss Madness and Madusa On the other side, and saw Bret Hart, Who with Pillman his buddy sat; I saw that The Butcher who drove Sting forth, And many others who I did not know, And saw alone, apart, The Repo Man. 130/When I had lifted up my brows a little, The Master I beheld of those who know, Sit with his slamtastic family. All gaze upon him, and all do him honour. There I beheld both Doink and Crush, Who nearer him before the others stand; Diesel, who puts the world on chance, Bart Gunn, Shawn Michaels, and Lex Luger, Razor Ramon, Mr. Perfect, and Albano; Of qualities I saw the good collector, 140/The Valiant Brothers; and Steele saw I, Bobo Brazil and Ladd, and The Famous Moolah, Snuka, Arnold Skaaland, and Rodz, Kowalski, Patterson, and Morales, Gorilla Monsoon, who the worst announcer made. I cannot all of them pourtray in full, Because so drives me onward the long theme, That many times the word comes short of fact. The sixfold company in two divides; Another way my sapient Guide conducts me 150/Forth from the quiet to the air that trembles; And to a place I come where nothing shines. !CANTO V. Thus I descended out of the first circle Down to the second, that less space begirds, And so much greater dole, that goads to wailing. There standeth Minos horribly, and snarls; Examines the transgressions at the entrance; Judges, and sends according as he girds him. I say, that when the spirit evil-born Cometh before him, wholly it confesses; And this discriminator of transgressions 10/Seeth what place in Hell is meet for it; Girds himself with his tail as many times As grades he wishes it should be thrust down. Always before him many of them stand; They go by turns each one unto the judgment; They speak, and hear, and then are downward hurled. 'O thou, that to this dolorous hostelry Comest,' said Minos to me, when he saw me, Leaving the practice of so great an office, 'Look how thou enterest, and in whom thou trustest; 20/Let not the portal's amplitude deceive thee.' And unto him my Guide: 'Why criest thou too? Do not impede his journey fate-ordained; It is so willed there where is power to do That which is willed; and ask no further question.' And now begin the dolesome notes to grow Audible unto me; now am I come There where much lamentation strikes upon me. I came into a place mute of all light, Which bellows as the sea does in a tempest, 30/If by opposing winds 't is combated. The infernal hurricane that never rests Hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine; Whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. When they arrive before the precipice, There are the shrieks, the plaints, and the laments, There they blaspheme the puissance divine. I understood that unto such a torment The carnal malefactors were condemned, Who reason subjugate to appetite. 40/And as the wings of starlings bear them on In the cold season in large band and full, So doth that blast the spirits maledict; It hither, thither, downward, upward, drives them; No hope doth comfort them for evermore, Not of repose, but even of lesser pain. And as the cranes go chanting forth their lays, Making in air a long line of themselves, So saw I coming, uttering lamentations, Shadows borne onward by the aforesaid stress. 50/Whereupon said I: 'Master, who are those People, whom the black air so castigates?' 'Eh, you wouldn't know them really, They were not macho or rad,' then said he unto me, 'That lady was a real piece of work. She liked the men if you know what I mean She made all sex legal all the time, That way she could have all she liked. Her name is Semiramis, of Assyria And I'd like to _Syria_ her _Ass_ one day; 60/She was married to Ninus, a macho fellow. Over there is one you may know, She's hardcore, strapped asps to her tits; aka Cleopatra the voluptuous.' Helen I saw, for whom so many ruthless Seasons revolved; and saw the great Achilles, Who at the last hour combated with Love. Paris I saw, Tristan; and more than a thousand Shades did he name and point out with his finger, Whom Love had separated from our life. 70/After that I had listened to my Teacher, Naming the dames of eld and cavaliers, Pity prevailed, and I was nigh bewildered. And I began: 'O Poet, willingly Speak would I to those two, who go together, And seem upon the wind to be so light.' And, he to me: 'Cool your jets bro You can speak to them soon enough, soon enough They'll come to us looking for love.' Soon as the wind in our direction sways them, 80/My voice uplift I: 'O ye weary souls! Come speak to us, if no one interdicts it.' As turtle-doves, called onward by desire, With open and steady wings to the sweet nest Fly through the air by their volition borne, So came they from the band where Dido is, Approaching us athwart the air malign, So strong was the affectionate appeal. 'O living creature gracious and benignant, Who visiting goest through the purple air 90/Us, who have stained the world incarnadine, If were the King of the Universe our friend, We would pray unto him to give thee peace, Since thou hast pity on our woe perverse. Of what it pleases thee to hear and speak, That will we hear, and we will speak to you, While silent is the wind, as it is now. Sitteth the city, wherein I was born, Upon the sea-shore where the Po descends To rest in peace with all his retinue. 100/Love, that on gentle heart doth swiftly seize, Seized this man for the person beautiful That was ta'en from me, and still the mode offends me. Love, that exempts no one beloved from loving, Seized me with pleasure of this man so strongly, That, as thou seest, it doth not yet desert me; Love has conducted us unto one death; Caina waiteth him who quenched our life!' These words were borne along from them to us. As soon as I had heard those souls tormented, 110/I bowed my face, and so long held it down Until the Poet said to me: 'Whaddaya think?' When I made answer, I began: 'Alas! How many pleasant thoughts, how much desire, Conducted these unto the dolorous pass!' Then unto them I turned me, and I spake, And I began: 'Thine agonies, Francesca, Sad and compassionate to weeping make me. But tell me, at the time of those sweet sighs, By what and in what manner Love conceded, 120/That you should know your dubious desires?' And she to me: 'There is no greater sorrow Than to be mindful of the happy time In misery, and that thy Teacher knows. But, if to recognise the earliest root Of love in us thou hast so great desire, I will do even as he who weeps and speaks. One day we reading were for our delight Of Launcelot, how Love did him enthral. Alone we were and without any fear. 130/Full many a time our eyes together drew That reading, and drove the colour from our faces; But one point only was it that o'ercame us. When as we read of the much-longed-for smile Being by such a noble lover kissed, This one, who ne'er from me shall be divided, Kissed me upon the mouth all palpitating. Galeotto was the book and he who wrote it. That day no farther did we read therein.' And all the while one spirit uttered this, 140/The other one did weep so, that, for pity, I swooned away as if I had been dying, And fell, even as a dead body falls. !CANTO VI. At the return of consciousness, that closed Before the pity of those two relations, Which utterly with sadness had confused me, New torments I behold, and new tormented Around me, whichsoever way I move, And whichsoever way I turn, and gaze. In the third circle am I of the rain Eternal, maledict, and cold, and heavy; Its law and quality are never new. 10/Huge hail, and water sombre-hued, and snow, Athwart the tenebrous air pour down amain; Noisome the earth is, that receiveth this. Cerberus, monster cruel and uncouth, With his three gullets like a dog is barking Over the people that are there submerged. Red eyes he has, and unctuous beard and black, And belly large, and armed with claws his hands; He rends the spirits, flays, and quarters them. Howl the rain maketh them like unto dogs; 20/One side they make a shelter for the other; Oft turn themselves the wretched reprobates. When Cerberus perceived us, the great worm! His mouths he opened, and displayed his tusks; Not a limb had he that was motionless. And my Conductor, with his spans extended, Took of the earth, and with his fists well filled, He threw it into those rapacious gullets. Such as that dog is, who by barking craves, And quiet grows soon as his food he gnaws, 30/For to devour it he but thinks and struggles, The like became those muzzles filth-begrimed Of Cerberus the demon, who so thunders Over the souls that they would fain be deaf. We passed across the shadows, which subdues The heavy rain-storm, and we placed our feet Upon their vanity that person seems. They all were lying prone upon the earth, Excepting one, who sat upright as soon As he beheld us passing on before him. 40/'O thou that art conducted through this Hell,' He said to me, 'recall me, if thou canst; Thyself wast made before I was unmade.' And I to him: 'The anguish which thou hast Perhaps doth draw thee out of my remembrance, So that it seems not I have ever seen thee. But tell me who thou art, that in so doleful A place art put, and in such punishment, If some are greater, none is so displeasing.' And he to me: 'Thy city, which is full 50/Of envy so that now the sack runs over, Held me within it in the life serene. You citizens were wont to call me Ciacco; For the pernicious sin of gluttony I, as thou seest, am battered by this rain. And I, sad soul, am not the only one, For all these suffer the like penalty For the like sin;' and word no more spake he. I answered him: 'Ciacco, thy wretchedness Weighs on me so that it to weep invites me; 60/But tell me, if thou knowest, to what shall come The citizens of the divided city; If any there be just; and the occasion Tell me why so much discord has assailed it.' And he to me: 'They, after long contention, Will come to bloodshed; and the rustic party Will drive the other out with much offence. Then afterwards behoves it this one fall Within three suns, and rise again the other By force of him who now is on the coast. 70/High will it hold its forehead a long while, Keeping the other under heavy burdens, Howe'er it weeps thereat and is indignant. The just are two, and are not understood there; Envy and Arrogance and Avarice Are the three sparks that have all hearts enkindled.' Here ended he his tearful utterance; And I to him: 'I wish thee still to teach me, And make a gift to me of further speech. Farinata and Tegghiaio, once so worthy, 80/Jacopo Rusticucci, Arrigo, and Mosca, And others who on good deeds set their thoughts, Say where they are, and cause that I may know them; For great desire constraineth me to learn If Heaven doth sweeten them, or Hell envenom.' And he: 'They are among the blacker souls; A different sin downweighs them to the bottom; If thou so far descendest, thou canst see them. But when thou art again in the sweet world, I pray thee to the mind of others bring me; 90/No more I tell thee and no more I answer.' Then his straightforward eyes he turned askance, Eyed me a little, and then bowed his head; He fell therewith prone like the other blind. And the Guide said to me: 'He ain't getting up, Though apparently the bible says something about the end of days, so maybe then, I was never really much of a scholar, but I think it mentioned the dead rising, Or maybe that was just in Ghostbusters.' 100/So we passed onward o'er the filthy mixture Of shadows and of rain with footsteps slow, Touching a little on the future life. Wherefore I said: 'Master, these torments here, Will they increase after the mighty sentence, Or lesser be, or will they be as burning?' And he to me: 'Man do I look like a prohpet? Whatever is gonig to happen is going to happen, And I have no way of knowing which is which. These folks are trapped here forever 110/They can't get into heaven, so who cares? It's harsh, but that's how the chips fall.' Round in a circle by that road we went, Speaking much more, which I do not repeat; We came unto the point where the descent is; There we found Plutus the great enemy. !CANTO VII. 'Pape Satan, Pape Satan, Aleppe!' Thus Plutus with his clucking voice began; And that benignant Sage, who all things knew, Said, to encourage me: 'Don't wig out, We are too macho for this jive turkey, He can't stop us entering the danger zone.' Then he turned round unto that bloated lip, And said: 'Shut up you freakshow; Why not eat yourself for a change? 10/We got a divine purpose, higher than Nachos; The big man upstairs sent us so beat it, We're soaring eagles, you are a slithering snake.' Even as the sails inflated by the wind Involved together fall when snaps the mast, So fell the cruel monster to the earth. Thus we descended into the fourth chasm, Gaining still farther on the dolesome shore Which all the woe of the universe insacks. Justice of God, ah! who heaps up so many 20/New toils and sufferings as I beheld? And why doth our transgression waste us so? As doth the billow there upon Charybdis, That breaks itself on that which it encounters, So here the folk must dance their roundelay. Here saw I people, more than elsewhere, many, On one side and the other, with great howls, Rolling weights forward by main force of chest. They clashed together, and then at that point Each one turned backward, rolling retrograde, 30/Crying, 'Why keepest?' and, 'Why squanderest thou?' Thus they returned along the lurid circle On either hand unto the opposite point, Shouting their shameful metre evermore. Then each, when he arrived there, wheeled about Through his half-circle to another joust; And I, who had my heart pierced as it were, Exclaimed: 'My Master, now declare to me What people these are, and if all were clerks, These shaven crowns upon the left of us.' 40/And he to me: 'I'll be frank with you dog, These were the dudes who loved money And let's be clear, I love money too. But these guys loved money too much, And like, not so much in a kinky way either, But instead they would hurt people to get money. You might see some churchy folks here Maybe even a pope or two, and learn: Even a priest can be a huge dick.' And I: 'My Master, among such as these 50/I ought forsooth to recognise some few, Who were infected with these maladies.' And he to me: 'I dunno man, it's sort of dark; And their dim view of compassion while alive Makes their forms sort of blurry.  It's weird. So now they're stuck here forever; Or until Electronic Arts publishes Dante's Inferno And they get some cameos in World 4. I really have no sympathy, neither should you, They took from others so now their souls are taken; 60/There's not much else to say on that matter. Let me ask you a question buddy, What do you do with your money? Your wealth? Are you stingy with it, or do you help others? Just remember these guys, or maybe Jacob Marley, Yeah that's right, I know some Dickens Even literature can be Macho at times.' 'Master,' I said to him, 'now tell me also What is this Fortune which thou speakest of, That has the world's goods so within its clutches?' 70/And he to me: 'Look idiot, Are you not listening or just being dense? Let me tell you from the beginning, then. God made everything, obviously, He made the sky, and the sun, and the stars, He made the Macho Man and tasty Nachos, And distributed these Nachos to all creation; Like a generous dude at a soup kitchen Where instead of soup they serve Nachos, But then people wanted MORE NACHOS, 80/And would fight over their cheesy goodness, Warm globes dripping from chips. So people would fight wars over these things And that is greed, my macho-in-training, I was trying to be poetical, it's a metaphor. And you can't fight greed, because it's nature; Greed controls the government and church Money is what drives corruption. But hey, this is super depressing; Did you like films by a guy named Herzog? 90/I just the other day watched one. I'm not one in general for art flicks, They're just not my speed, but let me say, I learned an astounding amount about rubber. Also, are you hot?  It's pretty hot; I get that this is part of the eternal torment thing But you'd think that greed's domain would be cooler. Like, coins are made of metal, and cool to touch; But now I'm rambling, let us press forward I... I just was getting a little bored.' 100/We crossed the circle to the other bank, Near to a fount that boils, and pours itself Along a gully that runs out of it. The water was more sombre far than perse; And we, in company with the dusky waves, Made entrance downward by a path uncouth. A marsh it makes, which has the name of Styx, This tristful brooklet, when it has descended Down to the foot of the malign gray shores. And I, who stood intent upon beholding, 110/Saw people mud-besprent in that lagoon, All of them naked and with angry look. They smote each other not alone with hands, But with the head and with the breast and feet, Tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. Said the good Master: 'What you're looking at Is those folks who were consumed with anger; REAL anger, not like we pretend in the ring Their anger is so blazing hot that even now It makes the very water down there bubble. 120/They writhe and spin and boil themselves. In this jacuzzi, they whine about their lot They can't take the heat, and unfortunately, They are not allowed to get out of the kitchen; So they sing a sad song. I don't know all the words, but it boils down to, 'Boy it's hot and we are sad, so sad, so sad.'' Thus we went circling round the filthy fen A great arc 'twixt the dry bank and the swamp, With eyes turned unto those who gorge the mire; 130/Unto the foot of a tower we came at last. !CANTO VIII. I say, continuing, that long before We to the foot of that high tower had come, Our eyes went upward to the summit of it, By reason of two flamelets we saw placed there, And from afar another answer them, So far, that hardly could the eye attain it. And, to the sea of all discernment turned, I said: 'What sayeth this, and what respondeth That other fire? and who are they that made it?' 10/And he to me: 'If you look out over the waves I figure you'll see what's going on If the view is clear, in any case.' Cord never shot an arrow from itself That sped away athwart the air so swift, As I beheld a very little boat Come o'er the water tow'rds us at that moment, Under the guidance of a single pilot, Who shouted, 'Now art thou arrived, fell soul?' 'Phlegyas, Phlegyas, thou criest out in vain 20/For this once,' said my Lord; 'thou shalt not have us Longer than in the passing of the slough.' As he who listens to some great deceit That has been done to him, and then resents it, Such became Phlegyas, in his gathered wrath. My Guide descended down into the boat, And then he made me enter after him, And only when I entered seemed it laden. Soon as the Guide and I were in the boat, The antique prow goes on its way, dividing 30/More of the water than 'tis wont with others. While we were running through the dead canal, Uprose in front of me one full of mire, And said, 'Who 'rt thou that comest ere the hour?' And I to him: 'Although I come, I stay not; But who art thou that hast become so squalid?' 'Thou seest that I am one who weeps,' he answered. And I to him: 'With weeping and with wailing, Thou spirit maledict, do thou remain; For thee I know, though thou art all defiled.' 40/Then stretched he both his hands unto the boat; Whereat my wary Master thrust him back, Saying, 'You stay in your place or I will end you.' Thereafter with his arms he clasped my neck; He kissed my face, and said: 'Disdainful soul, Blessed be she who bore thee in her bosom. That was an arrogant person in the world; Goodness is none, that decks his memory; So likewise here his shade is furious. How many are esteemed great kings up there, 50/Who here shall be like unto swine in mire, Leaving behind them horrible dispraises!' And I: 'My Master, much should I be pleased, If I could see him soused into this broth, Before we issue forth out of the lake.' And he to me: 'Just be patient man, We'll get there soon enough, you're like a child; Asking 'are we there yet' from the backseat.' A little after that, I saw such havoc Made of him by the people of the mire, 60/That still I praise and thank my God for it. They all were shouting, 'At Philippo Argenti!' And that exasperate spirit Florentine Turned round upon himself with his own teeth. We left him there, and more of him I tell not; But on mine ears there smote a lamentation, Whence forward I intent unbar mine eyes. And the good Master said: 'See that place? Dis city here is called Dis, get me? The people who live there are not macho.' 70/And I: 'Its mosques already, Master, clearly Within there in the valley I discern Vermilion, as if issuing from the fire They were.'  And he to me: 'You're in Hell, And given that Hell is both full of and on fire, That red stuff you see is... fire, idiot.' Then we arrived within the moats profound, That circumvallate that disconsolate city; The walls appeared to me to be of iron. Not without making first a circuit wide, 80/We came unto a place where loud the pilot Cried out to us, 'Debark, here is the entrance.' More than a thousand at the gates I saw Out of the Heavens rained down, who angrily Were saying, 'Who is this that without death Goes through the kingdom of the people dead?' And my sagacious Master made a sign Of wishing secretly to speak with them. A little then they quelled their great disdain, And said: 'Come thou alone, and he begone 90/Who has so boldly entered these dominions. Let him return alone by his mad road; Try, if he can; for thou shalt here remain, Who hast escorted him through such dark regions.' Think, Reader, if I was discomforted At utterance of the accursed words; For never to return here I believed. 'O my dear Guide, who more than seven times Hast rendered me security, and drawn me From imminent peril that before me stood, 100/Do not desert me,' said I, 'thus undone; And if the going farther be denied us, Let us retrace our steps together swiftly.' And that Lord, who had led me thitherward, Said unto me: 'Don't worry, I got you. God sent us so they can't refuse us. So just sit tight, watch the Macho Magic, Take a load off those barking dogs; I won't abandon you even if you're annoying.' So onward goes and there abandons me 110/My Father sweet, and I remain in doubt, For No and Yes within my head contend. I could not hear what he proposed to them; But with them there he did not linger long, Ere each within in rivalry ran back. They closed the portals, those our adversaries, On my Lord's breast, who had remained without And turned to me with footsteps far between. His eyes cast down, his forehead shorn had he Of all its boldness, and he said, with sighs, 120/'Who is it that has refused to let us in?' And unto me: 'I'm really angry now, But don't worry, I can still handle this, Their defenses are basically worthless. They're just acting tough, but it's no use; There's more than one way to skin a cat, And more than one way to enter into Dis. Look around for a stick, or maybe a bomb; We're going to knock these walls down, And march over the corpses of these demons, 130/That is how the city shall be opened.' !CANTO IX. That hue which cowardice brought out on me, Beholding my Conductor backward turn, Sooner repressed within him his new colour. He stopped attentive, like a man who listens, Because the eye could not conduct him far Through the black air, and through the heavy fog. 'We probably should win this fight,' Began he; 'or else, uh. . . Let's just not think about that!' 10/Well I perceived, as soon as the beginning He covered up with what came afterward, That they were words quite different from the first; But none the less his saying gave me fear, Because I carried out the broken phrase, Perhaps to a worse meaning than he had. 'Into this bottom of the doleful conch Doth any e'er descend from the first grade, Which for its pain has only hope cut off?' This question put I; and he answered me: 20/'Nobody really comes this way, So honestly it's really hard to say. A while back I was summoned here By some shitty wizard named Eric, Who necromancy'd me against my will. Though I hadn't been dead for very long, He sent me on a bogus quest for nachos, literal nachos, not some catchphrase joke; Down there into the lowest circle of all, The furthest from heaven you can get. 30/Anyway, that's where we're going. The swamp that we're in now, Is entirely surrounding the city, Remember, the one we can't get into.' And more he said, but not in mind I have it; Because mine eye had altogether drawn me Tow'rds the high tower with the red-flaming summit, Where in a moment saw I swift uprisen The three infernal Furies stained with blood, Who had the limbs of women and their mien, 40/And with the greenest hydras were begirt; Small serpents and cerastes were their tresses, Wherewith their horrid temples were entwined. And he who well the handmaids of the Queen Of everlasting lamentation knew, Said unto me: 'Check out those bird-ladies. On the left is one named Ozzy; On the right we have one named Flea; And in the middle Slash;' and then was silent. Each one her breast was rending with her nails; 50/They beat them with their palms, and cried so loud, That I for dread pressed close unto the Poet. 'Medusa come, so we to stone will change him!' All shouted looking down; 'in evil hour Avenged we not on Theseus his assault!' 'Oh yeah, you know about Medusa right? Just close your eyes, bumble around blindly, Because if you see her it's game over, man.' Thus said the Master; and he turned me round Himself, and trusted not unto my hands 60/So far as not to blind me with his own. O ye who have undistempered intellects, Observe the doctrine that conceals itself Beneath the veil of the mysterious verses! And now there came across the turbid waves The clangour of a sound with terror fraught, Because of which both of the margins trembled; Not otherwise it was than of a wind Impetuous on account of adverse heats, That smites the forest, and, without restraint, 70/The branches rends, beats down, and bears away; Right onward, laden with dust, it goes superb, And puts to flight the wild beasts and the shepherds. Mine eyes he loosed, and said: 'Yo, look over there that foamy bit down the river can you see? Over there where it's super smokey.' Even as the frogs before the hostile serpent Across the water scatter all abroad, Until each one is huddled in the earth. More than a thousand ruined souls I saw, 80/Thus fleeing from before one who on foot Was passing o'er the Styx with soles unwet. From off his face he fanned that unctuous air, Waving his left hand oft in front of him, And only with that anguish seemed he weary. Well I perceived one sent from Heaven was he, And to the Master turned; and he made sign That I should quiet stand, and bow before him. Ah! how disdainful he appeared to me! He reached the gate, and with a little rod 90/He opened it, for there was no resistance. 'Hey all you hated people who couldn't get into heaven!' Thus he began upon the horrid threshold; 'What makes you act so arrogant? Don't you know you should be humble, Isn't bad behavior what placed you here? Don't you ever learn that being bad is bad? You know that struggling is pointless right? It's literally impossible to escape from Hell, So why not chill, shoot some hoops or something?' 100/Then he returned along the miry road, And spake no word to us, but had the look Of one whom other care constrains and goads Than that of him who in his presence is; And we our feet directed tow'rds the city, After those holy words all confident. Within we entered without any contest; And I, who inclination had to see What the condition such a fortress holds, Soon as I was within, cast round mine eye, 110/And see on every hand an ample plain, Full of distress and torment terrible. Even as at Arles, where stagnant grows the Rhone, Even as at Pola near to the Quarnaro, That shuts in Italy and bathes its borders, The sepulchres make all the place uneven; So likewise did they there on every side, Saving that there the manner was more bitter; For flames between the sepulchres were scattered, By which they so intensely heated were, 120/That iron more so asks not any art. All of their coverings uplifted were, And from them issued forth such dire laments, Sooth seemed they of the wretched and tormented. And I: 'My Master, what are all those people Who, having sepulture within those tombs, Make themselves audible by doleful sighs?' And he to me: 'Those are the Heresiarchs, And their disciples, dressed in pink. A bunch more are napping in the crypts. 130/A lot of folks here spent their time sleeping; It's awfully hot and it helps to pass the time.' And when he to the right had turned, we passed Between the torments and high parapets. !CANTO X. Now onward goes, along a narrow path Between the torments and the city wall, My Master, and I follow at his back. 'O power supreme, that through these impious circles Turnest me,' I began, 'as pleases thee, Speak to me, and my longings satisfy; The people who are lying in these tombs, Might they be seen? already are uplifted The covers all, and no one keepeth guard.' 10/And he to me: 'Everything will close. Remember the Book of Revelations? The dead are going to rise someday. The seas will churn, and turn to blood Like some heavy metal album cover, There's a dragon too, it's awesome; But as for your question right now, You'll see the answer soon enough, And wish you hadn't asked at all.' And I: 'Good Leader, I but keep concealed 20/From thee my heart, that I may speak the less, Nor only now hast thou thereto disposed me.' 'Buddy, we went through a flaming city. You made it through alive, no mean feat. So chill a bit, and see what is coming up. I can tell by the way that you talk That you and I share a fatherland, and maybe I've razzed you a bit too much.' Upon a sudden issued forth this sound From out one of the tombs; wherefore I pressed, 30/Fearing, a little nearer to my Leader. And unto me he said: 'What are you doing? Look over there at Farinata the zombie; Sticking out from the waist up.' I had already fixed mine eyes on his, And he uprose erect with breast and front E'en as if Hell he had in great despite. And with courageous hands and prompt my Leader Thrust me between the sepulchres towards him, Exclaiming, 'Go talk to him dude!' 40/As soon as I was at the foot of his tomb Somewhat he eyed me, and, as if disdainful, Then asked of me, 'Who were thine ancestors?' I, who desirous of obeying was, Concealed it not, but all revealed to him; Whereat he raised his brows a little upward. Then said he: 'Fiercely adverse have they been To me, and to my fathers, and my party; So that two several times I scattered them.' 'If they were banished, they returned on all sides,' 50/I answered him, 'the first time and the second; But yours have not acquired that art aright.' Then there uprose upon the sight, uncovered Down to the chin, a shadow at his side; I think that he had risen on his knees. Round me he gazed, as if solicitude He had to see if some one else were with me, But after his suspicion was all spent, Weeping, he said to me: 'If through this blind Prison thou goest by loftiness of genius, 60/Where is my son? and why is he not with thee?' And I to him: 'I come not of myself; He who is waiting yonder leads me here, Whom in disdain perhaps your Guido had.' His language and the mode of punishment Already unto me had read his name; On that account my answer was so full. Up starting suddenly, he cried out: 'How Saidst thou,--he had?  Is he not still alive? Does not the sweet light strike upon his eyes?' 70/When he became aware of some delay, Which I before my answer made, supine He fell again, and forth appeared no more. But the other, magnanimous, at whose desire I had remained, did not his aspect change, Neither his neck he moved, nor bent his side. 'And if,' continuing his first discourse, 'They have that art,' he said, 'not learned aright, That more tormenteth me, than doth this bed. But fifty times shall not rekindled be 80/The countenance of the Lady who reigns here, Ere thou shalt know how heavy is that art; And as thou wouldst to the sweet world return, Say why that people is so pitiless Against my race in each one of its laws?' Whence I to him: 'The slaughter and great carnage Which have with crimson stained the Arbia, cause Such orisons in our temple to be made.' After his head he with a sigh had shaken, 'There I was not alone,' he said, 'nor surely 90/Without a cause had with the others moved. But there I was alone, where every one Consented to the laying waste of Florence, He who defended her with open face.' 'Ah! so hereafter may your seed repose,' I him entreated, 'solve for me that knot, Which has entangled my conceptions here. It seems that you can see, if I hear rightly, Beforehand whatsoe'er time brings with it, And in the present have another mode.' 100/'We see, like those who have imperfect sight, The things,' he said, 'that distant are from us; So much still shines on us the Sovereign Ruler. When they draw near, or are, is wholly vain Our intellect, and if none brings it to us, Not anything know we of your human state. Hence thou canst understand, that wholly dead Will be our knowledge from the moment when The portal of the future shall be closed.' Then I, as if compunctious for my fault, 110/Said: 'Now, then, you will tell that fallen one, That still his son is with the living joined. And if just now, in answering, I was dumb, Tell him I did it because I was thinking Already of the error you have solved me.' And now my Master was recalling me, Wherefore more eagerly I prayed the spirit That he would tell me who was with him there. He said: 'With more than a thousand here I lie; Within here is the second Frederick, 120/And the Cardinal, and of the rest I speak not.' Thereon he hid himself; and I towards The ancient poet turned my steps, reflecting Upon that saying, which seemed hostile to me. He moved along; and afterward thus going, He said to me, 'Why are you confused?' And I in his inquiry satisfied him. 'Let your experience here help you, against yourself,' that Sage commanded me, 'And now listen up;' and he raised his finger. 130/'When we finally reach your hot mama That lady so fine that the angels swoon, From her you'll learn all about your own life.' Unto the left hand then he turned his feet; We left the wall, and went towards the middle, Along a path that strikes into a valley, Which even up there unpleasant made its stench. !CANTO XI. Upon the margin of a lofty bank Which great rocks broken in a circle made, We came upon a still more cruel throng; And there, by reason of the horrible Excess of stench the deep abyss throws out, We drew ourselves aside behind the cover Of a great tomb, whereon I saw a writing, Which said: 'Pope Anastasius I hold, Whom out of the right way Photinus drew.' 10/'Now's the time to take it slow, It's not very macho, but so it goes Otherwise we may fall and look silly.' The Master thus; and unto him I said, 'Some compensation find, that the time pass not Idly;' and he: 'You really know nothing. Check out these rocks here, they're gnarly,' Began he then to say, 'inside are three small circles, Sort of like the circles that we're leaving now. They're full of damned souls of course; 20/And soon enough you'll see for youself, And hear their super annoying LAME-O whining. They've done basically every bad thing, You name it and they've done it probably, They lie and cheat and steal and sing. The ones up here in particular are the liars, Only humans lie so God hates liars the most, It's one of the least macho things you can do. The first circle was the violent of course; But lots of creatures can hit a dude, 30/Heck even I, the Nacho Man, have done so. And God himself uses force on stuff, Smiting a particularly sinful tree, Hurling a lightning bolt and a crab. You can die by violence, or kill, Or do all sorts of gnarly things to a guy Ruin, and arson, and straight-up punching; Homicide, patricide, fratricide, and so forth, Marauders, and freebooters, everything, They're all condemned to one circle or another. 40/Heck you can even inflict violence on yourself In more ways than one if you know what I mean And that might get you punished as well Basically never lay a hand on anybody Without their consent, or permission, Otherwise maybe you'll burn forever. Violence can even be done to God, Saying rude stuff about him, calling names, Littering or messing up nature. In fact, by some measure it can be said 50/Literally any action is violent to somebody, But liars do violence with words alone. That is why those who commit fraud, Those who decieve and hoodwink others, Are probably folks you should not trust. They have cut themselves off from the macho, Nature abhors their cunning ways. The second circle is similar of course, Hypocrisy, flattery, and sweet wizards, Falsification, theft, and puppyhaters, 60/Panders, and barrators, and the like filth. They've forgotten things to love in life, Nature's bounty, a plate of nachos, All good things from which rad feelings flow. But it is in this circle, the smallest part Of the Universe, where Dis is located, That the betrayers and backstabbers are.' And I: 'My Master, clear enough proceeds Thy reasoning, and full well distinguishes This cavern and the people who possess it. 70/But tell me, those within the fat lagoon, Whom the wind drives, and whom the rain doth beat, And who encounter with such bitter tongues, Wherefore are they inside of the red city Not punished, if God has them in his wrath, And if he has not, wherefore in such fashion?' And unto me he said: 'Come on bro, Why do you keep asking these things? Were you not listening to me at all? Don't you have any memory whatsoever 80/Of all the unethical things that exist and which heaven itself hold as uncool?-- Incontinence, and Malice, and insane Bestiality? and how Incontinence Makes you smell bad, and makes a big mess? If you think about it for a second, And remember who are trapped in this place Those doing penance for their misdeeds, Surely you'll understand why they're apart Why their sentences are slightly less painful 90/How Justice has seen to show a bit of mercy.' 'Praise the sun!  For it shines upon those, Whom you claim to be confused by, no doubt Having not even bothered to look behind us! Once more a little backward turn thee,' said I, 'There where thou sayest that usury offends Goodness divine, and disengage the knot.' 'Think about it,' he said, 'Use your head, Consider the ways in which one might sin, And how Nature might deal with you, 100/There are a few types of sins; Did you ever have physics in school, And looking through a lame-o textbook, Determine that everything you knew Was total bogus, entirely worthless; Such that you just dropped the class? Try and stir up that feeling Only think about, I dunno, Eden, The sort of sins that were commited; And whether or not blame is assigned, 110/Or maybe like, read Paradise Lost? It's written a few centuries after you die. Anyway, we don't have all day, We don't need to move slowly anymore, So let's pick up the pace a bit, yes? Let's do a sweet trick off this crag here.' !CANTO XII. The place where to descend the bank we came Was alpine, and from what was there, moreover, Of such a kind that every eye would shun it. Such as that ruin is which in the flank Smote, on this side of Trent, the Adige, Either by earthquake or by failing stay, For from the mountain's top, from which it moved, Unto the plain the cliff is shattered so, Some path 'twould give to him who was above; 10/Even such was the descent of that ravine, And on the border of the broken chasm The infamy of Crete was stretched along, Who was conceived in the fictitious cow; And when he us beheld, he bit himself, Even as one whom anger racks within. My Sage towards him shouted: 'Is it possible That you think the Duke of Athens is here, Who killed you right good long ago? Get your ugly self out of here, loser. 20/Else I say something rude about your sister And then I'll point and laugh at you.' As is that bull who breaks loose at the moment In which he has received the mortal blow, Who cannot walk, but staggers here and there, The Minotaur beheld I do the like; And he, the wary, cried: 'Run to the passage; While he wroth, 'tis well thou shouldst descend.' Thus down we took our way o'er that discharge Of stones, which oftentimes did move themselves 30/Beneath my feet, from the unwonted burden. Thoughtful I went; and he said: 'You're thinking About how I totally owned that stupid bullman And how he ran crying before my machoness. Let me tell you this: the last time I came through this part of Hell, This bit hadn't collapsed yet. And I saw the minotaur dressed up nicely Leaving his day job in Dis, coming home Ready to spend the evening with his family, 40/And I thought maybe he's just like us Just doing his day job being an evil demon And comes home to a loving household at night But then I realize no that's stupid; He's a crazy bullman with doofy cow horns And basically nothing makes that not awful. Anyway, look at that sweet river down there, It's a river of blood! Super macho! The folks swimming in it hurt other people.' O blind cupidity, O wrath insane, 50/That spurs us onward so in our short life, And in the eternal then so badly steeps us! I saw an ample moat bent like a bow, As one which all the plain encompasses, Conformable to what my Guide had said. And between this and the embankment's foot Centaurs in file were running, armed with arrows, As in the world they used the chase to follow. Beholding us descend, each one stood still, And from the squadron three detached themselves, 60/With bows and arrows in advance selected; And from afar one cried: 'Unto what torment Come ye, who down the hillside are descending? Tell us from there; if not, I draw the bow.' My Master said: 'We ain't telling you nothin' We talk to Chrion and nobody but him. Cry about if if you can't handle it.' Then touched he me, and said: 'That guy is Nessus, Who died for the lovely Dejanira, And took some really gnarly revenge. 70/And over there through the blood-mist, You can see Chiron; who trained Achilles And Pholus who is known for his bad temper. Thousands of demons stand around the river Any time a soul tries to escape the blood They plug him full of arrows! Ka-pow! Wham!' Near we approached unto those monsters fleet; Chiron an arrow took, and with the notch Backward upon his jaws he put his beard. After he had uncovered his great mouth, 80/He said to his companions: 'Are you ware That he behind moveth whate'er he touches? Thus are not wont to do the feet of dead men.' And my good Guide, who now was at his breast, Where the two natures are together joined, Replied: 'He's alive, it is true And it is my job to take him through Hell. This is no pleasure cruise let me tell you. We're on a mission from God, as it were, I've got this task direct rom upstairs; 90/So we're just going to keep on rolling. But while I have your attention, let me ask Given the macho nature of our mission, And the fact that we have to get through, Could you lend us one of your centaurs, Who can let us ride on his back; This guy isn't a ghost and can't float.' Upon his right breast Chiron wheeled about, And said to Nessus: 'Turn and do thou guide them, And warn aside, if other band may meet you.' 100/We with our faithful escort onward moved Along the brink of the vermilion boiling, Wherein the boiled were uttering loud laments. People I saw within up to the eyebrows, And the great Centaur said: 'Tyrants are these, Who dealt in bloodshed and in pillaging. Here they lament their pitiless mischiefs; here Is Alexander, and fierce Dionysius Who upon Sicily brought dolorous years. That forehead there which has the hair so black 110/Is Azzolin; and the other who is blond, Obizzo is of Esti, who, in truth, Up in the world was by his stepson slain.' Then turned I to the Poet; and he said, 'I have no idea what any of that meant.' A little farther on the Centaur stopped Above a folk, who far down as the throat Seemed from that boiling stream to issue forth. A shade he showed us on one side alone, Saying: 'He cleft asunder in God's bosom 120/The heart that still upon the Thames is honoured.' Then people saw I, who from out the river Lifted their heads and also all the chest; And many among these I recognised. Thus ever more and more grew shallower That blood, so that the feet alone it covered; And there across the moat our passage was. 'Even as thou here upon this side beholdest The boiling stream, that aye diminishes,' The Centaur said, 'I wish thee to believe 130/That on this other more and more declines Its bed, until it reunites itself Where it behoveth tyranny to groan. Justice divine, upon this side, is goading That Attila, who was a scourge on earth, And Pyrrhus, and Sextus; and for ever milks The tears which with the boiling it unseals In Rinier da Corneto and Rinier Pazzo, Who made upon the highways so much war.' Then back he turned, and passed again the ford. !CANTO XIII. Not yet had Nessus reached the other side, When we had put ourselves within a wood, That was not marked by any path whatever. Not foliage green, but of a dusky colour, Not branches smooth, but gnarled and intertangled, Not apple-trees were there, but thorns with poison. Such tangled thickets have not, nor so dense, Those savage wild beasts, that in hatred hold 'Twixt Cecina and Corneto the tilled places. 10/There do the hideous Harpies make their nests, Who chased the Trojans from the Strophades, With sad announcement of impending doom; Broad wings have they, and necks and faces human, And feet with claws, and their great bellies fledged; They make laments upon the wondrous trees. And the good Master: 'Before we go further, I want to let you know we're in the second round,' Thus he began to say, 'and will be, until We get to the Beach of Gross Sand Crud; 20/As we go, look to your sides and you'll see The proof, if you doubt my macho words.' I heard on all sides lamentations uttered, And person none beheld I who might make them, Whence, utterly bewildered, I stood still. I think he thought that I perhaps might think So many voices issued through those trunks From people who concealed themselves from us; Therefore the Master said: 'Why not break off A little bit of a tree to satisfy yourself? 30/Plants don't feel pain, right?  Probably.' Then stretched I forth my hand a little forward, And plucked a branchlet off from a great thorn; And the trunk cried, 'Why dost thou mangle me?' After it had become embrowned with blood, It recommenced its cry: 'Why dost thou rend me? Hast thou no spirit of pity whatsoever? Men once we were, and now are changed to trees; Indeed, thy hand should be more pitiful, Even if the souls of serpents we had been.' 40/As out of a green brand, that is on fire At one of the ends, and from the other drips And hisses with the wind that is escaping; So from that splinter issued forth together Both words and blood; whereat I let the tip Fall, and stood like a man who is afraid. 'Oh man, you fell for it, what a dope!' My Sage made answer, 'Hey tree buddy, This joker has no idea where he is, And so I decided to prank him at your expense; 50/Sorry 'bout that, but it was SO MACHO! Why don't you tell him who you are? That way when he leaves for the living world, Maybe he can tell your ex-wife or something That he saw you here, and she'll laugh.' And the trunk said: 'So thy sweet words allure me, I cannot silent be; and you be vexed not, That I a little to discourse am tempted. I am the one who both keys had in keeping Of Frederick's heart, and turned them to and fro 60/So softly in unlocking and in locking, That from his secrets most men I withheld; Fidelity I bore the glorious office So great, I lost thereby my sleep and pulses. The courtesan who never from the dwelling Of Caesar turned aside her strumpet eyes, Death universal and the vice of courts, Inflamed against me all the other minds, And they, inflamed, did so inflame Augustus, That my glad honours turned to dismal mournings. 70/My spirit, in disdainful exultation, Thinking by dying to escape disdain, Made me unjust against myself, the just. I, by the roots unwonted of this wood, Do swear to you that never broke I faith Unto my lord, who was so worthy of honour; And to the world if one of you return, Let him my memory comfort, which is lying Still prostrate from the blow that envy dealt it.' Waited awhile, and then: 'If you want to know more,' 80/The Poet said to me, 'don't waste time, We don't have all day so ask him now.' Whence I to him: 'Do thou again inquire Concerning what thou thinks't will satisfy me; For I cannot, such pity is in my heart.' Therefore he recommenced: 'So may the man Do for thee freely what thy speech implores, Spirit incarcerate, again be pleased To tell us in what way the soul is bound Within these knots; and tell us, if thou canst, 90/If any from such members e'er is freed.' Then blew the trunk amain, and afterward The wind was into such a voice converted: 'With brevity shall be replied to you. When the exasperated soul abandons The body whence it rent itself away, Minos consigns it to the seventh abyss. It falls into the forest, and no part Is chosen for it; but where Fortune hurls it, There like a grain of spelt it germinates. 100/It springs a sapling, and a forest tree; The Harpies, feeding then upon its leaves, Do pain create, and for the pain an outlet. Like others for our spoils shall we return; But not that any one may them revest, For 'tis not just to have what one casts off. Here we shall drag them, and along the dismal Forest our bodies shall suspended be, Each to the thorn of his molested shade.' We were attentive still unto the trunk, 110/Thinking that more it yet might wish to tell us, When by a tumult we were overtaken, In the same way as he is who perceives The boar and chase approaching to his stand, Who hears the crashing of the beasts and branches; And two behold! upon our left-hand side, Naked and scratched, fleeing so furiously, That of the forest, every fan they broke. He who was in advance: 'Now help, Death, help!' And the other one, who seemed to lag too much, 120/Was shouting: 'Lano, were not so alert Those legs of thine at joustings of the Toppo!' And then, perchance because his breath was failing, He grouped himself together with a bush. Behind them was the forest full of black She-mastiffs, ravenous, and swift of foot As greyhounds, who are issuing from the chain. On him who had crouched down they set their teeth, And him they lacerated piece by piece, Thereafter bore away those aching members. 130/Thereat my Escort took me by the hand, And led me to the bush, that all in vain Was weeping from its bloody lacerations. 'O Jacopo,' it said, 'of Sant' Andrea, What helped it thee of me to make a screen? What blame have I in thy nefarious life?' When near him had the Master stayed his steps, He said: 'Hey Bush Buddy, tell us a story What was your life like?  We're curious.' And he to us: 'O souls, that hither come 140/To look upon the shameful massacre That has so rent away from me my leaves, Gather them up beneath the dismal bush; I of that city was which to the Baptist Changed its first patron, wherefore he for this Forever with his art will make it sad. And were it not that on the pass of Arno Some glimpses of him are remaining still, Those citizens, who afterwards rebuilt it Upon the ashes left by Attila, 150/In vain had caused their labour to be done. Of my own house I made myself a gibbet.' !CANTO XIV. Because the charity of my native place Constrained me, gathered I the scattered leaves, And gave them back to him, who now was hoarse. Then came we to the confine, where disparted The second round is from the third, and where A horrible form of Justice is beheld. Clearly to manifest these novel things, I say that we arrived upon a plain, Which from its bed rejecteth every plant; 10/The dolorous forest is a garland to it All round about, as the sad moat to that; There close upon the edge we stayed our feet. The soil was of an arid and thick sand, Not of another fashion made than that Which by the feet of Cato once was pressed. Vengeance of God, O how much oughtest thou By each one to be dreaded, who doth read That which was manifest unto mine eyes! Of naked souls beheld I many herds, 20/Who all were weeping very miserably, And over them seemed set a law diverse. Supine upon the ground some folk were lying; And some were sitting all drawn up together, And others went about continually. Those who were going round were far the more, And those were less who lay down to their torment, But had their tongues more loosed to lamentation. O'er all the sand-waste, with a gradual fall, Were raining down dilated flakes of fire, 30/As of the snow on Alp without a wind. As Alexander, in those torrid parts Of India, beheld upon his host Flames fall unbroken till they reached the ground. Whence he provided with his phalanxes To trample down the soil, because the vapour Better extinguished was while it was single; Thus was descending the eternal heat, Whereby the sand was set on fire, like tinder Beneath the steel, for doubling of the dole. 40/Without repose forever was the dance Of miserable hands, now there, now here, Shaking away from off them the fresh gleeds. 'Master,' began I, 'thou who overcomest All things except the demons dire, that issued Against us at the entrance of the gate, Who is that mighty one who seems to heed not The fire, and lieth lowering and disdainful, So that the rain seems not to ripen him?' And he himself, who had become aware 50/That I was questioning my Guide about him, Cried: 'Such as I was living, am I, dead. If Jove should weary out his smith, from whom He seized in anger the sharp thunderbolt, Wherewith upon the last day I was smitten, And if he wearied out by turns the others In Mongibello at the swarthy forge, Vociferating, 'Help, good Vulcan, help!' Even as he did there at the fight of Phlegra, And shot his bolts at me with all his might, 60/He would not have thereby a joyous vengeance.' Then did my Leader speak with such great force, That I had never heard him speak so loud: 'Yo Capaneus, aren't you aware that Your arrogance increases your punishment;? The only thing making you miserable, Is yourself.  Chill out bro!' Then he turned round to me with better lip, Saying: 'This un-macho rage man here Was one of seven kings who beseged Thebes 70/And also he seems to hate God for some reason; The only reason he's here is his doing If he calmed down he could walk on out. Now follow me, but step lightly here Don't let your feet touch the grody sand, Stay close to the woods, understand?' Speaking no word, we came to where there gushes Forth from the wood a little rivulet, Whose redness makes my hair still stand on end. As from the Bulicame springs the brooklet, 80/The sinful women later share among them, So downward through the sand it went its way. The bottom of it, and both sloping banks, Were made of stone, and the margins at the side; Whence I perceived that there the passage was. 'Out of everything we've seen so far Since we began this hellish vacation Has been pretty gnarly, you'll agree But feast your eyes on this fire-water Nothing is as rad as this here river, 90/With the flames dancing on the surface.' These words were of my Leader; whence I prayed him That he would give me largess of the food, For which he had given me largess of desire. 'Back on Earth there is this island,' Said he thereafterward, 'It's called Crete, And the king there kept his world boring. On Crete there's this huge old mountain There are streams and forests and nature stuff. Nobody lives there, but it's pretty okay. 100/The Greeks believed that a goddess gave birth And hid her son on that island, which I guess Makes sense because babies are loud and all. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this It doesn't have very much to do with the river, But it somehow seemed like the right thing. Say, did you know that some guy back on Earth, Made a video game where I'm a dragon? It's awesome!  I can breath fire and fly. Did you bring any food with you at all? 110/Ghosts can't really eat you understand, But it's been so long since I snapped Into a Slim Jim that I kinda was hoping Maybe you had one in your pocket somewhere, And could just pass it through me a bit So that I can absorb some of the essence. That's how ghosts eat, like this you see; Watch 1995's 'Casper', it's in there. Anyway, this river flows down through Hell. Eventually it will go to the very bottom 120/But you'll see where, we're going there.' And I to him: 'If so the present runnel Doth take its rise in this way from our world, Why only on this verge appears it to us?' And he to me: 'You know that Hell is circular, We've come a long way but not long enough, There's still a long way yet to go, We haven't made it quite to the end yet. So if you've been surprised by the sights, Let me say: You ain't seen nothing yet.' 130/And I again: 'Master, where shall be found Lethe and Phlegethon, for of one thou'rt silent, And sayest the other of this rain is made?' 'I said nothing of the sort, you buffoon!' Replied he; 'but to answer your question, If you look at the water you might know. See the water there? That's the Lethe, Sometimes the souls of the punished bathe And forget why they're here.  It sucks.' Then said he: 'Alright that's enough for now 140/Tourism time is over, we have a schedule; Let's go this way, follow me across, I want to get out of this stupid forest.' !CANTO XV. Now bears us onward one of the hard margins, And so the brooklet's mist o'ershadows it, From fire it saves the water and the dikes. Even as the Flemings, 'twixt Cadsand and Bruges, Fearing the flood that tow'rds them hurls itself, Their bulwarks build to put the sea to flight; And as the Paduans along the Brenta, To guard their villas and their villages, Or ever Chiarentana feel the heat; 10/In such similitude had those been made, Albeit not so lofty nor so thick, Whoever he might be, the master made them. Now were we from the forest so remote, I could not have discovered where it was, Even if backward I had turned myself, When we a company of souls encountered, Who came beside the dike, and every one Gazed at us, as at evening we are wont To eye each other under a new moon, 20/And so towards us sharpened they their brows As an old tailor at the needle's eye. Thus scrutinised by such a family, By some one I was recognised, who seized My garment's hem, and cried out, 'What a marvel!' And I, when he stretched forth his arm to me, On his baked aspect fastened so mine eyes, That the scorched countenance prevented not His recognition by my intellect; And bowing down my face unto his own, 30/I made reply, 'Are you here, Ser Brunetto?' And he: 'May't not displease thee, O my son, If a brief space with thee Brunetto Latini Backward return and let the trail go on.' I said to him: 'With all my power I ask it; And if you wish me to sit down with you, I will, if he please, for I go with him.' 'O son,' he said, 'whoever of this herd A moment stops, lies then a hundred years, Nor fans himself when smiteth him the fire. 40/Therefore go on; I at thy skirts will come, And afterward will I rejoin my band, Which goes lamenting its eternal doom.' I did not dare to go down from the road Level to walk with him; but my head bowed I held as one who goeth reverently. And he began: 'What fortune or what fate Before the last day leadeth thee down here? And who is this that showeth thee the way?' 'Up there above us in the life serene,' 50/I answered him, 'I lost me in a valley, Or ever yet my age had been completed. But yestermorn I turned my back upon it; This one appeared to me, returning thither, And homeward leadeth me along this road.' And he to me: 'If thou thy star do follow, Thou canst not fail thee of a glorious port, If well I judged in the life beautiful. And if I had not died so prematurely, Seeing Heaven thus benignant unto thee, 60/I would have given thee comfort in the work. But that ungrateful and malignant people, Which of old time from Fesole descended, And smacks still of the mountain and the granite, Will make itself, for thy good deeds, thy foe; And it is right; for among crabbed sorbs It ill befits the sweet fig to bear fruit. Old rumour in the world proclaims them blind; A people avaricious, envious, proud; Take heed that of their customs thou do cleanse thee. 70/Thy fortune so much honour doth reserve thee, One party and the other shall be hungry For thee; but far from goat shall be the grass. Their litter let the beasts of Fesole Make of themselves, nor let them touch the plant, If any still upon their dunghill rise, In which may yet revive the consecrated Seed of those Romans, who remained there when The nest of such great malice it became.' 'If my entreaty wholly were fulfilled,' 80/Replied I to him, 'not yet would you be In banishment from human nature placed; For in my mind is fixed, and touches now My heart the dear and good paternal image Of you, when in the world from hour to hour You taught me how a man becomes eternal; And how much I am grateful, while I live Behoves that in my language be discerned. What you narrate of my career I write, And keep it to be glossed with other text 90/By a Lady who can do it, if I reach her. This much will I have manifest to you; Provided that my conscience do not chide me, For whatsoever Fortune I am ready. Such handsel is not new unto mine ears; Therefore let Fortune turn her wheel around As it may please her, and the churl his mattock.' My Master thereupon on his right cheek Did backward turn himself, and looked at me; Then said: 'Man, what a downer!' 100/Nor speaking less on that account, I go With Ser Brunetto, and I ask who are His most known and most eminent companions. And he to me: 'To know of some is well; Of others it were laudable to be silent, For short would be the time for so much speech. Know them in sum, that all of them were clerks, And men of letters great and of great fame, In the world tainted with the selfsame sin. Priscian goes yonder with that wretched crowd, 110/And Francis of Accorso; and thou hadst seen there If thou hadst had a hankering for such scurf, That one, who by the Servant of the Servants From Arno was transferred to Bacchiglione, Where he has left his sin-excited nerves. More would I say, but coming and discoursing Can be no longer; for that I behold New smoke uprising yonder from the sand. A people comes with whom I may not be; Commended unto thee be my Tesoro, 120/In which I still live, and no more I ask.' Then he turned round, and seemed to be of those Who at Verona run for the Green Mantle Across the plain; and seemed to be among them The one who wins, and not the one who loses. !CANTO XVI. Now was I where was heard the reverberation Of water falling into the next round, Like to that humming which the beehives make, When shadows three together started forth, Running, from out a company that passed Beneath the rain of the sharp martyrdom. Towards us came they, and each one cried out: 'Stop, thou; for by thy garb to us thou seemest To be some one of our depraved city.' 10/Ah me! what wounds I saw upon their limbs, Recent and ancient by the flames burnt in! It pains me still but to remember it. Unto their cries my Teacher paused attentive; He turned his face towards me, and 'Now wait,' He said; 'We need to be nice to these guys. If it weren't for the fact that we're in Hell Which is inherently a bad place to be I'd say that they're swell dudes really.' As soon as we stood still, they recommenced 20/The old refrain, and when they overtook us, Formed of themselves a wheel, all three of them. As champions stripped and oiled are wont to do, Watching for their advantage and their hold, Before they come to blows and thrusts between them, Thus, wheeling round, did every one his visage Direct to me, so that in opposite wise His neck and feet continual journey made. And, 'If the misery of this soft place Bring in disdain ourselves and our entreaties,' 30/Began one, 'and our aspect black and blistered, Let the renown of us thy mind incline To tell us who thou art, who thus securely Thy living feet dost move along through Hell. He in whose footprints thou dost see me treading, Naked and skinless though he now may go, Was of a greater rank than thou dost think; He was the grandson of the good Gualdrada; His name was Guidoguerra, and in life Much did he with his wisdom and his sword. 40/The other, who close by me treads the sand, Tegghiaio Aldobrandi is, whose fame Above there in the world should welcome be. And I, who with them on the cross am placed, Jacopo Rusticucci was; and truly My savage wife, more than aught else, doth harm me.' Could I have been protected from the fire, Below I should have thrown myself among them, And think the Teacher would have suffered it; But as I should have burned and baked myself, 50/My terror overmastered my good will, Which made me greedy of embracing them. Then I began: 'Sorrow and not disdain Did your condition fix within me so, That tardily it wholly is stripped off, As soon as this my Lord said unto me Words, on account of which I thought within me That people such as you are were approaching. I of your city am; and evermore Your labours and your honourable names 60/I with affection have retraced and heard. I leave the gall, and go for the sweet fruits Promised to me by the veracious Leader; But to the centre first I needs must plunge.' 'So may the soul for a long while conduct Those limbs of thine,' did he make answer then, 'And so may thy renown shine after thee, Valour and courtesy, say if they dwell Within our city, as they used to do, Or if they wholly have gone out of it; 70/For Guglielmo Borsier, who is in torment With us of late, and goes there with his comrades, Doth greatly mortify us with his words.' 'The new inhabitants and the sudden gains, Pride and extravagance have in thee engendered, Florence, so that thou weep'st thereat already!' In this wise I exclaimed with face uplifted; And the three, taking that for my reply, Looked at each other, as one looks at truth. 'If other times so little it doth cost thee,' 80/Replied they all, 'to satisfy another, Happy art thou, thus speaking at thy will! Therefore, if thou escape from these dark places, And come to rebehold the beauteous stars, When it shall pleasure thee to say, 'I was,' See that thou speak of us unto the people.' Then they broke up the wheel, and in their flight It seemed as if their agile legs were wings. Not an Amen could possibly be said So rapidly as they had disappeared; 90/Wherefore the Master deemed best to depart. I followed him, and little had we gone, Before the sound of water was so near us, That speaking we should hardly have been heard. Even as that stream which holdeth its own course The first from Monte Veso tow'rds the East, Upon the left-hand slope of Apennine, Which is above called Acquacheta, ere It down descendeth into its low bed, And at Forli is vacant of that name, 100/Reverberates there above San Benedetto From Alps, by falling at a single leap, Where for a thousand there were room enough; Thus downward from a bank precipitate, We found resounding that dark-tinted water, So that it soon the ear would have offended. I had a cord around about me girt, And therewithal I whilom had designed To take the panther with the painted skin. After I this had all from me unloosed, 110/As my Conductor had commanded me, I reached it to him, gathered up and coiled, Whereat he turned himself to the right side, And at a little distance from the verge, He cast it down into that deep abyss. 'It must needs be some novelty respond,' I said within myself, 'to the new signal The Master with his eye is following so.' Ah me! how very cautious men should be With those who not alone behold the act, 120/But with their wisdom look into the thoughts! He said to me: 'Soon what I'm waiting for Will show up here, and your curiosity Might be satisfied, for a while.' Aye to that truth which has the face of falsehood, A man should close his lips as far as may be, Because without his fault it causes shame; But here I cannot; and, Reader, by the notes Of this my Comedy to thee I swear, So may they not be void of lasting favour, 130/Athwart that dense and darksome atmosphere I saw a figure swimming upward come, Marvellous unto every steadfast heart, Even as he returns who goeth down Sometimes to clear an anchor, which has grappled Reef, or aught else that in the sea is hidden, Who upward stretches, and draws in his feet. !CANTO XVII. 'Look at that super macho monster down there! He shatters mountains and breaks city walls! Check out his power, and be awed!' Thus unto me my Guide began to say, And beckoned him that he should come to shore, Near to the confine of the trodden marble; And that uncleanly image of deceit Came up and thrust ashore its head and bust, But on the border did not drag its tail. 10/The face was as the face of a just man, Its semblance outwardly was so benign, And of a serpent all the trunk beside. Two paws it had, hairy unto the armpits; The back, and breast, and both the sides it had Depicted o'er with nooses and with shields. With colours more, groundwork or broidery Never in cloth did Tartars make nor Turks, Nor were such tissues by Arachne laid. As sometimes wherries lie upon the shore, 20/That part are in the water, part on land; And as among the guzzling Germans there, The beaver plants himself to wage his war; So that vile monster lay upon the border, Which is of stone, and shutteth in the sand. His tail was wholly quivering in the void, Contorting upwards the envenomed fork, That in the guise of scorpion armed its point. The Guide said: 'We should avoid it. Despite my macho strength and nacho power 30/He is one dude that I don't want to fight.' We therefore on the right side descended, And made ten steps upon the outer verge, Completely to avoid the sand and flame; And after we are come to him, I see A little farther off upon the sand A people sitting near the hollow place. Then said to me the Master: 'It'll improve Your experience of Hell immensely, If you go ask them what their deal is. 40/This is not space, but for them, it's the place; While you do that I'm going to sunbathe, In this Sahara that is Macho Madness.' Thus farther still upon the outermost Head of that seventh circle all alone I went, where sat the melancholy folk. Out of their eyes was gushing forth their woe; This way, that way, they helped them with their hands Now from the flames and now from the hot soil. Not otherwise in summer do the dogs, 50/Now with the foot, now with the muzzle, when By fleas, or flies, or gadflies, they are bitten. When I had turned mine eyes upon the faces Of some, on whom the dolorous fire is falling, Not one of them I knew; but I perceived That from the neck of each there hung a pouch, Which certain colour had, and certain blazon; And thereupon it seems their eyes are feeding. And as I gazing round me come among them, Upon a yellow pouch I azure saw 60/That had the face and posture of a lion. Proceeding then the current of my sight, Another of them saw I, red as blood, Display a goose more white than butter is. And one, who with an azure sow and gravid Emblazoned had his little pouch of white, Said unto me: 'What dost thou in this moat? Now get thee gone; and since thou'rt still alive, Know that a neighbour of mine, Vitaliano, Will have his seat here on my left-hand side. 70/A Paduan am I with these Florentines; Full many a time they thunder in mine ears, Exclaiming, 'Come the sovereign cavalier, He who shall bring the satchel with three goats;'' Then twisted he his mouth, and forth he thrust His tongue, like to an ox that licks its nose. And fearing lest my longer stay might vex Him who had warned me not to tarry long, Backward I turned me from those weary souls. I found my Guide, who had already mounted 80/Upon the back of that wild animal, And said to me: 'Now don't be a wuss. It's time to descend some stairs, get hype! You ride up front and me in back, So that you don't get hurt by the tail.' Such as he is who has so near the ague Of quartan that his nails are blue already, And trembles all, but looking at the shade; Even such became I at those proffered words; But shame in me his menaces produced, 90/Which maketh servant strong before good master. I seated me upon those monstrous shoulders; I wished to say, and yet the voice came not As I believed, 'Take heed that thou embrace me.' But he, who other times had rescued me In other peril, soon as I had mounted, Within his arms encircled and sustained me, And said: 'Giddyup hoss! Go forth; It's not every day you carry the Macho Man; Think of the story you can tell your friends.' 100/Even as the little vessel shoves from shore, Backward, still backward, so he thence withdrew; And when he wholly felt himself afloat, There where his breast had been he turned his tail, And that extended like an eel he moved, And with his paws drew to himself the air. A greater fear I do not think there was What time abandoned Phaeton the reins, Whereby the heavens, as still appears, were scorched; Nor when the wretched Icarus his flanks 110/Felt stripped of feathers by the melting wax, His father crying, 'An ill way thou takest!' Than was my own, when I perceived myself On all sides in the air, and saw extinguished The sight of everything but of the monster. Onward he goeth, swimming slowly, slowly; Wheels and descends, but I perceive it only By wind upon my face and from below. I heard already on the right the whirlpool Making a horrible crashing under us; 120/Whence I thrust out my head with eyes cast downward. Then was I still more fearful of the abyss; Because I fires beheld, and heard laments, Whereat I, trembling, all the closer cling. I saw then, for before I had not seen it, The turning and descending, by great horrors That were approaching upon divers sides. As falcon who has long been on the wing, Who, without seeing either lure or bird, Maketh the falconer say, 'Ah me, thou stoopest,' 130/Descendeth weary, whence he started swiftly, Thorough a hundred circles, and alights Far from his master, sullen and disdainful; Even thus did Geryon place us on the bottom, Close to the bases of the rough-hewn rock, And being disencumbered of our persons, He sped away as arrow from the string. !CANTO XVIII. There is a place in Hell called Malebolge, Wholly of stone and of an iron colour, As is the circle that around it turns. Right in the middle of the field malign There yawns a well exceeding wide and deep, Of which its place the structure will recount. Round, then, is that enclosure which remains Between the well and foot of the high, hard bank, And has distinct in valleys ten its bottom. 10/As where for the protection of the walls Many and many moats surround the castles, The part in which they are a figure forms, Just such an image those presented there; And as about such strongholds from their gates Unto the outer bank are little bridges, So from the precipice's base did crags Project, which intersected dikes and moats, Unto the well that truncates and collects them. Within this place, down shaken from the back 20/Of Geryon, we found us; and the Poet Held to the left, and I moved on behind. Upon my right hand I beheld new anguish, New torments, and new wielders of the lash, Wherewith the foremost Bolgia was replete. Down at the bottom were the sinners naked; This side the middle came they facing us, Beyond it, with us, but with greater steps; Even as the Romans, for the mighty host, The year of Jubilee, upon the bridge, 30/Have chosen a mode to pass the people over; For all upon one side towards the Castle Their faces have, and go unto St. Peter's; On the other side they go towards the Mountain. This side and that, along the livid stone Beheld I horned demons with great scourges, Who cruelly were beating them behind. Ah me! how they did make them lift their legs At the first blows! and sooth not any one The second waited for, nor for the third. 40/While I was going on, mine eyes by one Encountered were; and straight I said: 'Already With sight of this one I am not unfed.' Therefore I stayed my feet to make him out, And with me the sweet Guide came to a stand, And to my going somewhat back assented; And he, the scourged one, thought to hide himself, Lowering his face, but little it availed him; For said I: 'Thou that castest down thine eyes, If false are not the features which thou bearest, 50/Thou art Venedico Caccianimico; But what doth bring thee to such pungent sauces?' And he to me: 'Unwillingly I tell it; But forces me thine utterance distinct, Which makes me recollect the ancient world. I was the one who the fair Ghisola Induced to grant the wishes of the Marquis, Howe'er the shameless story may be told. Not the sole Bolognese am I who weeps here; Nay, rather is this place so full of them, 60/That not so many tongues to-day are taught 'Twixt Reno and Savena to say 'sipa;' And if thereof thou wishest pledge or proof, Bring to thy mind our avaricious heart.' While speaking in this manner, with his scourge A demon smote him, and said: 'Get thee gone Pander, there are no women here for coin.' I joined myself again unto mine Escort; Thereafterward with footsteps few we came To where a crag projected from the bank. 70/This very easily did we ascend, And turning to the right along its ridge, From those eternal circles we departed. When we were there, where it is hollowed out Beneath, to give a passage to the scourged, The Guide said: 'Wait and look at them, Those unhip cats who are born evil, Those whom we have not seen as of yet, Because they've been following us.' From the old bridge we looked upon the train 80/Which tow'rds us came upon the other border, And which the scourges in like manner smite. And the good Master, without my inquiring, Said to me: 'Look at the tall one there, Despite his pain he's standing up tall; See how macho he remains in its face! That's Jason, whom you've heard of maybe? He did some pretty despicable stuff. I honestly never read Greek myths So I'm sort of in the dark about this. 90/You'll have to do the reading yourself. Instead, why don't you go bother him? Ask him about his wife and kids, And if he ever was a liar to them. I do know he had a cool boat called the Argo; I heard he went searching for some mutton, But then discovered gold was inedible. Seems like you could learn a lot from him; About how to be a jerk to women and kids You know, if you weren't already.' 100/We were already where the narrow path Crosses athwart the second dike, and forms Of that a buttress for another arch. Thence we heard people, who are making moan In the next Bolgia, snorting with their muzzles, And with their palms beating upon themselves The margins were incrusted with a mould By exhalation from below, that sticks there, And with the eyes and nostrils wages war. The bottom is so deep, no place suffices 110/To give us sight of it, without ascending The arch's back, where most the crag impends. Thither we came, and thence down in the moat I saw a people smothered in a filth That out of human privies seemed to flow; And whilst below there with mine eye I search, I saw one with his head so foul with ordure, It was not clear if he were clerk or layman. He screamed to me: 'Wherefore art thou so eager To look at me more than the other foul ones?' 120/And I to him: 'Because, if I remember, I have already seen thee with dry hair, And thou'rt Alessio Interminei of Lucca; Therefore I eye thee more than all the others.' And he thereon, belabouring his pumpkin: 'The flatteries have submerged me here below, Wherewith my tongue was never surfeited.' Then said to me the Guide: 'See that thou thrust Thy visage somewhat farther in advance, That with thine eyes thou well the face attain 130/Of that uncleanly and dishevelled drab, Who there doth scratch herself with filthy nails, And crouches now, and now on foot is standing. Thais the harlot is it, who replied Unto her paramour, when he said, 'Have I Great gratitude from thee?'--'Nay, marvellous;' And herewith let our sight be satisfied.' !CANTO XIX. O Simon Magus, O forlorn disciples, Ye who the things of God, which ought to be The brides of holiness, rapaciously For silver and for gold do prostitute, Now it behoves for you the trumpet sound, Because in this third Bolgia ye abide. We had already on the following tomb Ascended to that portion of the crag Which o'er the middle of the moat hangs plumb. 10/Wisdom supreme, O how great art thou showest In heaven, in earth, and in the evil world, And with what justice doth thy power distribute! I saw upon the sides and on the bottom The livid stone with perforations filled, All of one size, and every one was round. To me less ample seemed they not, nor greater Than those that in my beautiful Saint John Are fashioned for the place of the baptisers, And one of which, not many years ago, 20/I broke for some one, who was drowning in it; Be this a seal all men to undeceive. Out of the mouth of each one there protruded The feet of a transgressor, and the legs Up to the calf, the rest within remained. In all of them the soles were both on fire; Wherefore the joints so violently quivered, They would have snapped asunder withes and bands. Even as the flame of unctuous things is wont To move upon the outer surface only, 30/So likewise was it there from heel to point. 'Master, who is that one who writhes himself, More than his other comrades quivering,' I said, 'and whom a redder flame is sucking?' And he to me: 'If you follow me a little bit, Down this bank to where that cat is sitting, He will tell you himself his sorry story.' And I: 'What pleases thee, to me is pleasing; Thou art my Lord, and knowest that I depart not From thy desire, and knowest what is not spoken.' 40/Straightway upon the fourth dike we arrived; We turned, and on the left-hand side descended Down to the bottom full of holes and narrow. And the good Master yet from off his haunch Deposed me not, till to the hole he brought me Of him who so lamented with his shanks. 'Whoe'er thou art, that standest upside down, O doleful soul, implanted like a stake,' To say began I, 'if thou canst, speak out.' I stood even as the friar who is confessing 50/The false assassin, who, when he is fixed, Recalls him, so that death may be delayed. And he cried out: 'Dost thou stand there already, Dost thou stand there already, Boniface? By many years the record lied to me. Art thou so early satiate with that wealth, For which thou didst not fear to take by fraud The beautiful Lady, and then work her woe?' Such I became, as people are who stand, Not comprehending what is answered them, 60/As if bemocked, and know not how to answer. Then said Macho Man: 'Quick-like, tell him 'That's not me, I'm a different guy!'' And I replied as was imposed on me. Whereat the spirit writhed with both his feet, Then, sighing, with a voice of lamentation Said to me: 'Then what wantest thou of me? If who I am thou carest so much to know, That thou on that account hast crossed the bank, Know that I vested was with the great mantle; 70/And truly was I son of the She-bear, So eager to advance the cubs, that wealth Above, and here myself, I pocketed. Beneath my head the others are dragged down Who have preceded me in simony, Flattened along the fissure of the rock. Below there I shall likewise fall, whenever That one shall come who I believed thou wast, What time the sudden question I proposed. But longer I my feet already toast, 80/And here have been in this way upside down, Than he will planted stay with reddened feet; For after him shall come of fouler deed From tow'rds the west a Pastor without law, Such as befits to cover him and me. New Jason will he be, of whom we read In Maccabees; and as his king was pliant, So he who governs France shall be to this one.' I do not know if I were here too bold, That him I answered only in this metre: 90/'I pray thee tell me now how great a treasure Our Lord demanded of Saint Peter first, Before he put the keys into his keeping? Truly he nothing asked but 'Follow me.' Nor Peter nor the rest asked of Matthias Silver or gold, when he by lot was chosen Unto the place the guilty soul had lost. Therefore stay here, for thou art justly punished, And keep safe guard o'er the ill-gotten money, Which caused thee to be valiant against Charles. 100/And were it not that still forbids it me The reverence for the keys superlative Thou hadst in keeping in the gladsome life, I would make use of words more grievous still; Because your avarice afflicts the world, Trampling the good and lifting the depraved. The Evangelist you Pastors had in mind, When she who sitteth upon many waters To fornicate with kings by him was seen; The same who with the seven heads was born, 110/And power and strength from the ten horns received, So long as virtue to her spouse was pleasing. Ye have made yourselves a god of gold and silver; And from the idolater how differ ye, Save that he one, and ye a hundred worship? Ah, Constantine! of how much ill was mother, Not thy conversion, but that marriage dower Which the first wealthy Father took from thee!' And while I sang to him such notes as these, Either that anger or that conscience stung him, 120/He struggled violently with both his feet. I think in sooth that it my Leader pleased, With such contented lip he listened ever Unto the sound of the true words expressed. Therefore with both his arms he took me up, And when he had me all upon his breast, Remounted by the way where he descended. Nor did he tire to have me clasped to him; But bore me to the summit of the arch Which from the fourth dike to the fifth is passage. 130/There tenderly he laid his burden down, Tenderly on the crag uneven and steep, That would have been hard passage for the goats: Thence was unveiled to me another valley. !CANTO XX. Of a new pain behoves me to make verses And give material to the twentieth canto Of the first song, which is of the submerged. I was already thoroughly disposed To peer down into the uncovered depth, Which bathed itself with tears of agony; And people saw I through the circular valley, Silent and weeping, coming at the pace Which in this world the Litanies assume. 10/As lower down my sight descended on them, Wondrously each one seemed to be distorted From chin to the beginning of the chest; For tow'rds the reins the countenance was turned, And backward it behoved them to advance, As to look forward had been taken from them. Perchance indeed by violence of palsy Some one has been thus wholly turned awry; But I ne'er saw it, nor believe it can be. As God may let thee, Reader, gather fruit 20/From this thy reading, think now for thyself How I could ever keep my face unmoistened, When our own image near me I beheld Distorted so, the weeping of the eyes Along the fissure bathed the hinder parts. Truly I wept, leaning upon a peak Of the hard crag, so that my Escort said To me: 'What are you crying for? Are you tired?  Is it your bedtime? It's been a big day for you I know. 30/You must be tired and not even know it. Let me tell you a bedtime story then To pass the time while we stride forward; Our macho hair swirling in the breeze. Once upon a time there was a warrior Sarnath was his name, from Monqurt He was a true knight, macho even as me. When he was young he traveled far Seeking the best challengers and champions Besting them all in one-on-one rumbles. 40/Eventually he came to the land of the Church, That great cathedral of Amour Lardo, Where the Cellulite Pope held his court. Sarnath did not know about religion In his land there was no church at all, And of course this world was not our own. This Nacho Man of old was truly wowed, The music of the priests blew him away And the pontiff himself was noble and kind. For a long time he lived at the court 50/Aiding young paladins in their training Serving as armsmaster for the holy army. Until finally he took oaths himself, Not those to be a clergyman, oh no, But to serve as the shield of the church. At this time an evil nation to the north, Wicked and envious of the church's wealth; Invaded and tried to stamp out the faith. It was Sarnath who held the line, Alongside his four most promising pupils, 60/Who ever after bore the title 'Hounds'. Their names are famous today They were Gleeok and Ragnasaurth Ilthor and strongest of all Thorgan. With their master they stemmed the tide, These five alone against a legion of foes Sheer numbers could not overcome their might. Yet as the battle appeared to be won, A single arrow struck Sarnath in the thigh Fast-acting poison turned his blood cold. 70/Gasping for air in his final minutes, Sarnath passed his title on to Thorgan, Appointing him leader of the Church's army. Thus ended the story of the hero Sarnath And where his spirit went I cannot say, In that world things aren't as simple. If you don't understand this story, Don't sweat it, I'm just killing time. It's actually not that great a story. And sorry if my speech has become formal 80/During the telling of this particular tale, I'm just trying to relate it I heard it. Some guy named Pablo told it to me When we were lifting at the gym last week, And I guess it has kind of stuck with me. Anyway, hopefully this happy tale Has gotten you to stop crying, or at least made you fall asleep; Either way it's the same to me, after all, We're going to have to keep going eventually 90/Unlike you I have all the time in the world. Say, have I ever tell you the cheese joke? You know, the one with the goat and the spoon? Where they end up at the sanitation plant? Well it's too long to tell now, There aren't many lines left in this Canto, But remind me in Canto XXXIV, it's great. A real knee-slapper let me tell you, The sort of joke you'll tell your grandkids Years from now as you munch on a Slim Jim. 100/And I: 'My Master, thy discourses are To me so certain, and so take my faith, That unto me the rest would be spent coals. But tell me of the people who are passing, If any one note-worthy thou beholdest, For only unto that my mind reverts.' Then said he to me: 'Normally I'd tell you But I've just spent a lot of time talking And even ghosts get sore throats, you know. I know that here there's like six more stanzas 110/And that if I stuck on-script I'd give them all But honestly I'm just not feeling it right now. So I'm going to take matters into my own hands My MACHO hands; my NACHO hands, as they were. And end this particular canto early. I hope you don't hold it against me, The next one is more interesting anyway So let's just hurry along to it shall we? Thus spake he to me, and we walked the while. !CANTO XXI. From bridge to bridge thus, speaking other things Of which my Comedy cares not to sing, We came along, and held the summit, when We halted to behold another fissure Of Malebolge and other vain laments; And I beheld it marvellously dark. As in the Arsenal of the Venetians Boils in the winter the tenacious pitch To smear their unsound vessels o'er again, 10/For sail they cannot; and instead thereof One makes his vessel new, and one recaulks The ribs of that which many a voyage has made; One hammers at the prow, one at the stern, This one makes oars, and that one cordage twists, Another mends the mainsail and the mizzen; Thus, not by fire, but by the art divine, Was boiling down below there a dense pitch Which upon every side the bank belimed. I saw it, but I did not see within it 20/Aught but the bubbles that the boiling raised, And all swell up and resubside compressed. The while below there fixedly I gazed, My Leader, crying out: 'Watch out!' Drew me unto himself from where I stood. Then I turned round, as one who is impatient To see what it behoves him to escape, And whom a sudden terror doth unman, Who, while he looks, delays not his departure; And I beheld behind us a black devil, 30/Running along upon the crag, approach. Ah, how ferocious was he in his aspect! And how he seemed to me in action ruthless, With open wings and light upon his feet! His shoulders, which sharp-pointed were and high, A sinner did encumber with both haunches, And he held clutched the sinews of the feet. From off our bridge, he said: 'O Malebranche, Behold one of the elders of Saint Zita; Plunge him beneath, for I return for others 40/Unto that town, which is well furnished with them. All there are barrators, except Bonturo; No into Yes for money there is changed.' He hurled him down, and over the hard crag Turned round, and never was a mastiff loosened In so much hurry to pursue a thief. The other sank, and rose again face downward; But the demons, under cover of the bridge, Cried: 'Here the Santo Volto has no place! Here swims one otherwise than in the Serchio; 50/Therefore, if for our gaffs thou wishest not, Do not uplift thyself above the pitch.' They seized him then with more than a hundred rakes; They said: 'It here behoves thee to dance covered, That, if thou canst, thou secretly mayest pilfer.' Not otherwise the cooks their scullions make Immerse into the middle of the caldron The meat with hooks, so that it may not float. Said the good Master to me: 'You gotta hide, So duck down behind this rock face 60/And they will not be able to see you; Don't worry about what happesn to me, None may withstand the Macho Man unleashed, I've handled these demons many times.' Then he passed on beyond the bridge's head, And as upon the sixth bank he arrived, Need was for him to have a steadfast front. With the same fury, and the same uproar, As dogs leap out upon a mendicant, Who on a sudden begs, where'er he stops, 70/They issued from beneath the little bridge, And turned against him all their grappling-irons; But he cried out: 'Step back idiots! Do you remember what happened last time, When I was strolling through on vacation, And you tried to grab me and paid the price?' They all cried out: 'Let Malacoda go;' Whereat one started, and the rest stood still, And he came to him, saying: 'What avails it?' 'How now, Malacoda? Up for another round? 80/I hope your tail is healed.' my Master said, 'There's a reason your name is evil tail, But what evil can you do if it breaks again? Why not let me pass, and spare your body Unless you're crusing for a bruising.' Then was his arrogance so humbled in him, That he let fall his grapnel at his feet, And to the others said: 'Now strike him not.' And unto me my Guide: 'O thou, who sittest Among the splinters of the bridge crouched down, 90/Securely now return to me again.' Wherefore I started and came swiftly to him; And all the devils forward thrust themselves, So that I feared they would not keep their compact. And thus beheld I once afraid the soldiers Who issued under safeguard from Caprona, Seeing themselves among so many foes. Close did I press myself with all my person Beside my Leader, and turned not mine eyes From off their countenance, which was not good. 100/They lowered their rakes, and 'Wilt thou have me hit him,' They said to one another, 'on the rump?' And answered: 'Yes; see that thou nick him with it.' But the same demon who was holding parley With my Conductor turned him very quickly, And said: 'Be quiet, be quiet, Scarmiglione;' Then said to us: 'You can no farther go Forward upon this crag, because is lying All shattered, at the bottom, the sixth arch. And if it still doth please you to go onward, 110/Pursue your way along upon this rock; Near is another crag that yields a path. Yesterday, five hours later than this hour, One thousand and two hundred sixty-six Years were complete, that here the way was broken. I send in that direction some of mine To see if any one doth air himself; Go ye with them; for they will not be vicious. Step forward, Alichino and Calcabrina,' Began he to cry out, 'and thou, Cagnazzo; 120/And Barbariccia, do thou guide the ten. Come forward, Libicocco and Draghignazzo, And tusked Ciriatto and Graffiacane, And Farfarello and mad Rubicante; Search ye all round about the boiling pitch; Let these be safe as far as the next crag, That all unbroken passes o'er the dens.' 'O me! what is it, Master, that I see? Pray let us go,' I said, 'without an escort, If thou knowest how, since for myself I ask none. 130/If thou art as observant as thy wont is, Dost thou not see that they do gnash their teeth, And with their brows are threatening woe to us?' And he to me: 'There's no need to fear now; They just want to regain their lost pride, Gnashing their teeth to shore up their image.' Along the left-hand dike they wheeled about; But first had each one thrust his tongue between His teeth towards their leader for a signal; And he had made a trumpet of his rump. !CANTO XXII. I have erewhile seen horsemen moving camp, Begin the storming, and their muster make, And sometimes starting off for their escape; Vaunt-couriers have I seen upon your land, O Aretines, and foragers go forth, Tournaments stricken, and the joustings run, Sometimes with trumpets and sometimes with bells, With kettle-drums, and signals of the castles, And with our own, and with outlandish things, 10/But never yet with bagpipe so uncouth Did I see horsemen move, nor infantry, Nor ship by any sign of land or star. We went upon our way with the ten demons; Ah, savage company! but in the church With saints, and in the tavern with the gluttons! Ever upon the pitch was my intent, To see the whole condition of that Bolgia, And of the people who therein were burned. Even as the dolphins, when they make a sign 20/To mariners by arching of the back, That they should counsel take to save their vessel, Thus sometimes, to alleviate his pain, One of the sinners would display his back, And in less time conceal it than it lightens. As on the brink of water in a ditch The frogs stand only with their muzzles out, So that they hide their feet and other bulk, So upon every side the sinners stood; But ever as Barbariccia near them came, 30/Thus underneath the boiling they withdrew. I saw, and still my heart doth shudder at it, One waiting thus, even as it comes to pass One frog remains, and down another dives; And Graffiacan, who most confronted him, Grappled him by his tresses smeared with pitch, And drew him up, so that he seemed an otter. I knew, before, the names of all of them, So had I noted them when they were chosen, And when they called each other, listened how. 40/'O Rubicante, see that thou do lay Thy claws upon him, so that thou mayst flay him,' Cried all together the accursed ones. And I: 'My Master, see to it, if thou canst, That thou mayst know who is the luckless wight, Thus come into his adversaries' hands.' Near to the side of him my Leader drew, Asked of him whence he was; and he replied: 'I in the kingdom of Navarre was born; My mother placed me servant to a lord, 50/For she had borne me to a ribald knave, Destroyer of himself and of his things. Then I domestic was of good King Thibault; I set me there to practise barratry, For which I pay the reckoning in this heat.' And Ciriatto, from whose mouth projected, On either side, a tusk, as in a boar, Caused him to feel how one of them could rip. Among malicious cats the mouse had come; But Barbariccia clasped him in his arms, 60/And said: 'Stand ye aside, while I enfork him.' And to my Master he turned round his head; 'Ask him again,' he said, 'and just maybe You've noticed I always tell you that.' The Guide: 'Now tell us of the others here; Are there any who are worthing hearing about? Best gnarly story?'  And he: 'I separated Lately from one who was a neighbour to it; Would that I still were covered up with him, For I should fear not either claw nor hook!' 70/And Libicocco: 'We have borne too much;' And with his grapnel seized him by the arm, So that, by rending, he tore off a tendon. Eke Draghignazzo wished to pounce upon him Down at the legs; whence their Decurion Turned round and round about with evil look. When they again somewhat were pacified, Of him, who still was looking at his wound, Demanded my Conductor without stay: 'Wow who was that guy?  I don't know him. 80/Also you might want to get that looked at.' And he replied: 'It was the Friar Gomita, He of Gallura, vessel of all fraud, Who had the enemies of his Lord in hand, And dealt so with them each exults thereat; Money he took, and let them smoothly off, As he says; and in other offices A barrator was he, not mean but sovereign. Foregathers with him one Don Michael Zanche Of Logodoro; and of Sardinia 90/To gossip never do their tongues feel tired. O me! see that one, how he grinds his teeth; Still farther would I speak, but am afraid Lest he to scratch my itch be making ready.' And the grand Provost, turned to Farfarello, Who rolled his eyes about as if to strike, Said: 'Stand aside there, thou malicious bird.' 'If you desire either to see or hear,' The terror-stricken recommenced thereon, 'Tuscans or Lombards, I will make them come. 100/But let the Malebranche cease a little, So that these may not their revenges fear, And I, down sitting in this very place, For one that I am will make seven come, When I shall whistle, as our custom is To do whenever one of us comes out.' Cagnazzo at these words his muzzle lifted, Shaking his head, and said: 'Just hear the trick Which he has thought of, down to throw himself!' Whence he, who snares in great abundance had, 110/Responded: 'I by far too cunning am, When I procure for mine a greater sadness.' Alichin held not in, but running counter Unto the rest, said to him: 'If thou dive, I will not follow thee upon the gallop, But I will beat my wings above the pitch; The height be left, and be the bank a shield To see if thou alone dost countervail us.' O thou who readest, thou shalt hear new sport! Each to the other side his eyes averted; 120/He first, who most reluctant was to do it. The Navarrese selected well his time; Planted his feet on land, and in a moment Leaped, and released himself from their design. Whereat each one was suddenly stung with shame, But he most who was cause of the defeat; Therefore he moved, and cried: 'Thou art o'ertakern.' But little it availed, for wings could not Outstrip the fear; the other one went under, And, flying, upward he his breast directed; 130/Not otherwise the duck upon a sudden Dives under, when the falcon is approaching, And upward he returneth cross and weary. Infuriate at the mockery, Calcabrina Flying behind him followed close, desirous The other should escape, to have a quarrel. And when the barrator had disappeared, He turned his talons upon his companion, And grappled with him right above the moat. But sooth the other was a doughty sparhawk 140/To clapperclaw him well; and both of them Fell in the middle of the boiling pond. A sudden intercessor was the heat; But ne'ertheless of rising there was naught, To such degree they had their wings belimed. Lamenting with the others, Barbariccia Made four of them fly to the other side With all their gaffs, and very speedily This side and that they to their posts descended; They stretched their hooks towards the pitch-ensnared, 150/Who were already baked within the crust, And in this manner busied did we leave them. !CANTO XXIII. Silent, alone, and without company We went, the one in front, the other after, As go the Minor Friars along their way. Upon the fable of Aesop was directed My thought, by reason of the present quarrel, Where he has spoken of the frog and mouse; For 'mo' and 'issa' are not more alike Than this one is to that, if well we couple End and beginning with a steadfast mind. 10/And even as one thought from another springs, So afterward from that was born another, Which the first fear within me double made. Thus did I ponder: 'These on our account Are laughed to scorn, with injury and scoff So great, that much I think it must annoy them. If anger be engrafted on ill-will, They will come after us more merciless Than dog upon the leveret which he seizes,' I felt my hair stand all on end already 20/With terror, and stood backwardly intent, When said I: 'Master, if thou hidest not Thyself and me forthwith, of Malebranche I am in dread; we have them now behind us; I so imagine them, I already feel them.' And he: 'Sometimes when I hear you speak, I have no idea what you're saying at all And so I imagine it's a hilarious joke. Now, for example, you just said gibberish, Which I interpreted as a very funny bit 30/About a rooster and a tractor-trailer. Let's take this downward slope here Step lively, macho men don't lose balance, Nothing shall catch us on this path.' Not yet he finished rendering such opinion, When I beheld them come with outstretched wings, Not far remote, with will to seize upon us. My Leader on a sudden seized me up, Even as a mother who by noise is wakened, And close beside her sees the enkindled flames, 40/Who takes her son, and flies, and does not stop, Having more care of him than of herself, So that she clothes her only with a shift; And downward from the top of the hard bank Supine he gave him to the pendent rock, That one side of the other Bolgia walls. Ne'er ran so swiftly water through a sluice To turn the wheel of any land-built mill, When nearest to the paddles it approaches, As did my Master down along that border, 50/Bearing me with him on his breast away, As his own son, and not as a companion. Hardly the bed of the ravine below His feet had reached, ere they had reached the hill Right over us; but he was not afraid; For the high Providence, which had ordained To place them ministers of the fifth moat, The power of thence departing took from all. A painted people there below we found, Who went about with footsteps very slow, 60/Weeping and in their semblance tired and vanquished. They had on mantles with the hoods low down Before their eyes, and fashioned of the cut That in Cologne they for the monks are made. Without, they gilded are so that it dazzles; But inwardly all leaden and so heavy That Frederick used to put them on of straw. O everlastingly fatiguing mantle! Again we turned us, still to the left hand Along with them, intent on their sad plaint; 70/But owing to the weight, that weary folk Came on so tardily, that we were new In company at each motion of the haunch. Whence I unto my Leader: 'See thou find Some one who may by deed or name be known, And thus in going move thine eye about.' And one, who understood the Tuscan speech, Cried to us from behind: 'Stay ye your feet, Ye, who so run athwart the dusky air! Perhaps thou'lt have from me what thou demandest.' 80/Whereat the Leader turned him, and said: 'Wait, And walk towards this weird duck slowly.' I stopped, and two beheld I show great haste Of spirit, in their faces, to be with me; But the burden and the narrow way delayed them. When they came up, long with an eye askance They scanned me without uttering a word. Then to each other turned, and said together: 'He by the action of his throat seems living; And if they dead are, by what privilege 90/Go they uncovered by the heavy stole?' Then said to me: 'Tuscan, who to the college Of miserable hypocrites art come, Do not disdain to tell us who thou art.' And I to them: 'Born was I, and grew up In the great town on the fair river of Arno, And with the body am I've always had. But who are ye, in whom there trickles down Along your cheeks such grief as I behold? And what pain is upon you, that so sparkles?' 100/And one replied to me: 'These orange cloaks Are made of lead so heavy, that the weights Cause in this way their balances to creak. Frati Gaudenti were we, and Bolognese; I Catalano, and he Loderingo Named, and together taken by thy city, As the wont is to take one man alone, For maintenance of its peace; and we were such That still it is apparent round Gardingo.' 'O Friars,' began I, 'your iniquitous. . .' 110/But said no more; for to mine eyes there rushed One crucified with three stakes on the ground. When me he saw, he writhed himself all over, Blowing into his beard with suspirations; And the Friar Catalan, who noticed this, Said to me: 'This transfixed one, whom thou seest, Counselled the Pharisees that it was meet To put one man to torture for the people. Crosswise and naked is he on the path, As thou perceivest; and he needs must feel, 120/Whoever passes, first how much he weighs; And in like mode his father-in-law is punished Within this moat, and the others of the council, Which for the Jews was a malignant seed.' And thereupon I saw the Macho Man marvel O'er him who was extended on the cross So vilely in eternal banishment. Then he directed to the Friar this voice: 'We're not lost, but if we were, Would you tell us if we were going wrong? 130/We're heading down this slope and it seems good, And the nacho man needs no directions, No map, but still, you'd let us know, right?' Then he made answer: 'Nearer than thou hopest There is a rock, that forth from the great circle Proceeds, and crosses all the cruel valleys, Save that at this 'tis broken, and does not bridge it; You will be able to mount up the ruin, That sidelong slopes and at the bottom rises.' The Leader stood awhile with head held high; 140/Then said: 'That guy's breath is the worst I think he ate too many salt and vinegar chips.' And the Friar: 'Many of the Devil's vices Once heard I at Bologna, and among them, That he's a liar and the father of lies.' Thereat my Leader with great strides went on, Somewhat disturbed with anger in his looks; Whence from the heavy-laden I departed After the prints of his beloved feet. !CANTO XXIV. In that part of the youthful year wherein The Sun his locks beneath Aquarius tempers, And now the nights draw near to half the day, What time the hoar-frost copies on the ground The outward semblance of her sister white, But little lasts the temper of her pen, The husbandman, whose forage faileth him, Rises, and looks, and seeth the champaign All gleaming white, whereat he beats his flank, 10/Returns in doors, and up and down laments, Like a poor wretch, who knows not what to do; Then he returns and hope revives again, Seeing the world has changed its countenance In little time, and takes his shepherd's crook, And forth the little lambs to pasture drives. Thus did the Master fill me with alarm, When I beheld his forehead so disturbed, And to the ailment came as soon the plaster. For as we came unto the ruined bridge, 20/The Leader turned to me with that sweet look Which at the mountain's foot I first beheld. His arms he opened, after some advisement Within himself elected, looking first Well at the ruin, and laid hold of me. And even as he who acts and meditates, For aye it seems that he provides beforehand, So upward lifting me towards the summit Of a huge rock, he scanned another crag, Saying: 'We've got to climb up there, 30/You first, see if it can hold our weight.' This was no way for one clothed with a cloak; For hardly we, he light, and I pushed upward, Were able to ascend from jag to jag. And had it not been, that upon that precinct Shorter was the ascent than on the other, He I know not, but I had been dead beat. But because Malebolge tow'rds the mouth Of the profoundest well is all inclining, The structure of each valley doth import 40/That one bank rises and the other sinks. Still we arrived at length upon the point Wherefrom the last stone breaks itself asunder. The breath was from my lungs so milked away, When I was up, that I could go no farther, Nay, I sat down upon my first arrival. 'Don't you fade on me now, pretty boy.' My Master said; 'Don't you know that Rest and relaxation makes you soft? As the kids say today, do you even lift? 50/You need to pump iron and run miles, Build your body up to a MACHO state. So get up off of the ground, slacker! Raise your spirits, act tough! Don't be a spineless slug, man! You're going to have to climb more stairs; This is just the beginning, let me tell you; If you hear me, then you'll prepare yourself.' Then I uprose, showing myself provided Better with breath than I did feel myself, 60/And said: 'Go on, for I am strong and bold.' Upward we took our way along the crag, Which jagged was, and narrow, and difficult, And more precipitous far than that before. Speaking I went, not to appear exhausted; Whereat a voice from the next moat came forth, Not well adapted to articulate words. I know not what it said, though o'er the back I now was of the arch that passes there; But he seemed moved to anger who was speaking. 70/I was bent downward, but my living eyes Could not attain the bottom, for the dark; Wherefore I: 'Master, see that thou arrive At the next round, and let us descend the wall; For as from hence I hear and understand not, So I look down and nothing I distinguish.' 'Don't talk,' he said, 'for a while, Seriously.  You fill the air with nose And not the type of madness that I love.' We from the bridge descended at its head, 80/Where it connects itself with the eighth bank, And then was manifest to me the Bolgia; And I beheld therein a terrible throng Of serpents, and of such a monstrous kind, That the remembrance still congeals my blood Let Libya boast no longer with her sand; For if Chelydri, Jaculi, and Phareae She breeds, with Cenchri and with Amphisbaena, Neither so many plagues nor so malignant E'er showed she with all Ethiopia, 90/Nor with whatever on the Red Sea is! Among this cruel and most dismal throng People were running naked and affrighted. Without the hope of hole or heliotrope. They had their hands with serpents bound behind them; These riveted upon their reins the tail And head, and were in front of them entwined. And lo! at one who was upon our side There darted forth a serpent, which transfixed him There where the neck is knotted to the shoulders. 100/Nor 'O' so quickly e'er, nor 'I' was written, As he took fire, and burned; and ashes wholly Behoved it that in falling he became. And when he on the ground was thus destroyed, The ashes drew together, and of themselves Into himself they instantly returned. Even thus by the great sages 'tis confessed The phoenix dies, and then is born again, When it approaches its five-hundredth year; On herb or grain it feeds not in its life, 110/But only on tears of incense and amomum, And nard and myrrh are its last winding-sheet. And as he is who falls, and knows not how, By force of demons who to earth down drag him, Or other oppilation that binds man, When he arises and around him looks, Wholly bewildered by the mighty anguish Which he has suffered, and in looking sighs; Such was that sinner after he had risen. Justice of God! O how severe it is, 120/That blows like these in vengeance poureth down! The Guide thereafter asked him who he was; Whence he replied: 'I rained from Tuscany A short time since into this cruel gorge. A bestial life, and not a human, pleased me, Even as the mule I was; I'm Vanni Fucci, Beast, and Pistoia was my worthy den.' And I unto the Guide: 'Tell him to stir not, And ask what crime has thrust him here below, For once a man of blood and wrath I saw him.' 130/And the sinner, who had heard, dissembled not, But unto me directed mind and face, And with a melancholy shame was painted. Then said: 'It pains me more that thou hast caught me Amid this misery where thou seest me, Than when I from the other life was taken. What thou demandest I cannot deny; So low am I put down because I robbed The sacristy of the fair ornaments, And falsely once 'twas laid upon another; 140/But that thou mayst not such a sight enjoy, If thou shalt e'er be out of the dark places, Thine ears to my announcement ope and hear: Pistoia first of Neri groweth meagre; Then Florence doth renew her men and manners; Mars draws a vapour up from Val di Magra, Which is with turbid clouds enveloped round, And with impetuous and bitter tempest Over Campo Picen shall be the battle; When it shall suddenly rend the mist asunder, 150/So that each Bianco shall thereby be smitten. And this I've said that it may give thee pain.' !CANTO XXV. At the conclusion of his words, the thief Lifted his hands aloft with both the figs, Crying: 'Take that, God, for at thee I aim them.' From that time forth the serpents were my friends; For one entwined itself about his neck As if it said: 'I will not thou speak more;' And round his arms another, and rebound him, Clinching itself together so in front, That with them he could not a motion make. 10/Pistoia, ah, Pistoia! why resolve not To burn thyself to ashes and so perish, Since in ill-doing thou thy seed excellest? Through all the sombre circles of this Hell, Spirit I saw not against God so proud, Not he who fell at Thebes down from the walls! He fled away, and spake no further word; And I beheld a Centaur full of rage Come crying out: 'Where is, where is the scoffer?' I do not think Maremma has so many 20/Serpents as he had all along his back, As far as where our countenance begins. Upon the shoulders, just behind the nape, With wings wide open was a dragon lying, And he sets fire to all that he encounters. My Master said: 'That guy is Cacus. It's said that when he was alive He created a lake of blood. METAL! He and his brothers are all here together Because they were thieves and brigands, 30/They stole some cows or sheep or something; They messed with the wrong guy it seems, Hercules beat them to death with a mace, It was pretty gnarly if I may say so.' While he was speaking thus, he had passed by, And spirits three had underneath us come, Of which nor I aware was, nor my Leader, Until what time they shouted: 'Who are you?' On which account our story made a halt, And then we were intent on them alone. 40/I did not know them; but it came to pass, As it is wont to happen by some chance, That one to name the other was compelled, Exclaiming: 'Where can Cianfa have remained?' Whence I, so that the Leader might attend, Upward from chin to nose my finger laid. If thou art, Reader, slow now to believe What I shall say, it will no marvel be, For I who saw it hardly can admit it. As I was holding raised on them my brows, 50/Behold! a serpent with six feet darts forth In front of one, and fastens wholly on him. With middle feet it bound him round the paunch, And with the forward ones his arms it seized; Then thrust its teeth through one cheek and the other; The hindermost it stretched upon his thighs, And put its tail through in between the two, And up behind along the reins outspread it. Ivy was never fastened by its barbs Unto a tree so, as this horrible reptile 60/Upon the other's limbs entwined its own. Then they stuck close, as if of heated wax They had been made, and intermixed their colour; Nor one nor other seemed now what he was; E'en as proceedeth on before the flame Upward along the paper a brown colour, Which is not black as yet, and the white dies. The other two looked on, and each of them Cried out: 'O me, Agnello, how thou changest! Behold, thou now art neither two nor one.' 70/Already the two heads had one become, When there appeared to us two figures mingled Into one face, wherein the two were lost. Of the four lists were fashioned the two arms, The thighs and legs, the belly and the chest Members became that never yet were seen. Every original aspect there was cancelled; Two and yet none did the perverted image Appear, and such departed with slow pace. Even as a lizard, under the great scourge 80/Of days canicular, exchanging hedge, Lightning appeareth if the road it cross; Thus did appear, coming towards the bellies Of the two others, a small fiery serpent, Livid and black as is a peppercorn. And in that part whereat is first received Our aliment, it one of them transfixed; Then downward fell in front of him extended. The one transfixed looked at it, but said naught; Nay, rather with feet motionless he yawned, 90/Just as if sleep or fever had assailed him. He at the serpent gazed, and it at him; One through the wound, the other through the mouth Smoked violently, and the smoke commingled. Henceforth be silent Lucan, where he mentions Wretched Sabellus and Nassidius, And wait to hear what now shall be shot forth. Be silent Ovid, of Cadmus and Arethusa; For if him to a snake, her to fountain, Converts he fabling, that I grudge him not; 100/Because two natures never front to front Has he transmuted, so that both the forms To interchange their matter ready were. Together they responded in such wise, That to a fork the serpent cleft his tail, And eke the wounded drew his feet together. The legs together with the thighs themselves Adhered so, that in little time the juncture No sign whatever made that was apparent. He with the cloven tail assumed the figure 110/The other one was losing, and his skin Became elastic, and the other's hard. I saw the arms draw inward at the armpits, And both feet of the reptile, that were short, Lengthen as much as those contracted were. Thereafter the hind feet, together twisted, Became the member that a man conceals, And of his own the wretch had two created. While both of them the exhalation veils With a new colour, and engenders hair 120/On one of them and depilates the other, The one uprose and down the other fell, Though turning not away their impious lamps, Underneath which each one his muzzle changed. He who was standing drew it tow'rds the temples, And from excess of matter, which came thither, Issued the ears from out the hollow cheeks; What did not backward run and was retained Of that excess made to the face a nose, And the lips thickened far as was befitting. 130/He who lay prostrate thrusts his muzzle forward, And backward draws the ears into his head, In the same manner as the snail its horns; And so the tongue, which was entire and apt For speech before, is cleft, and the bi-forked In the other closes up, and the smoke ceases. The soul, which to a reptile had been changed, Along the valley hissing takes to flight, And after him the other speaking sputters. Then did he turn upon him his new shoulders, 140/And said to the other: 'I'll have Buoso run, Crawling as I have done, along this road.' In this way I beheld the seventh ballast Shift and reshift, and here be my excuse The novelty, if aught my pen transgress. And notwithstanding that mine eyes might be Somewhat bewildered, and my mind dismayed, They could not flee away so secretly But that I plainly saw Puccio Sciancato; And he it was who sole of three companions, 150/Which came in the beginning, was not changed; The other was he whom thou, Gaville, weepest. !CANTO XXVI. Rejoice, O Florence, since thou art so great, That over sea and land thou beatest thy wings, And throughout Hell thy name is spread abroad! Among the thieves five citizens of thine Like these I found, whence shame comes unto me, And thou thereby to no great honour risest. But if when morn is near our dreams are true, Feel shalt thou in a little time from now What Prato, if none other, craves for thee. 10/And if it now were, it were not too soon; Would that it were, seeing it needs must be, For 'twill aggrieve me more the more I age. We went our way, and up along the stairs The bourns had made us to descend before, Remounted my Conductor and drew me. And following the solitary path Among the rocks and ridges of the crag, The foot without the hand sped not at all. Then sorrowed I, and sorrow now again, 20/When I direct my mind to what I saw, And more my genius curb than I am wont, That it may run not unless virtue guide it; So that if some good star, or better thing, Have given me good, I may myself not grudge it. As many as the hind (who on the hill Rests at the time when he who lights the world His countenance keeps least concealed from us, While as the fly gives place unto the gnat) Seeth the glow-worms down along the valley, 30/Perchance there where he ploughs and makes his vintage; With flames as manifold resplendent all Was the eighth Bolgia, as I grew aware As soon as I was where the depth appeared. And such as he who with the bears avenged him Beheld Elijah's chariot at departing, What time the steeds to heaven erect uprose, For with his eye he could not follow it So as to see aught else than flame alone, Even as a little cloud ascending upward, 40/Thus each along the gorge of the intrenchment Was moving; for not one reveals the theft, And every flame a sinner steals away. I stood upon the bridge uprisen to see, So that, if I had seized not on a rock, Down had I fallen without being pushed. And the Leader, who beheld me so attent, Exclaimed: 'They're all in the fire there; They bathe in the fire even though it burns.' 'My Master,' I replied, 'by hearing thee 50/I am more sure; but I surmised already It might be so, and already wished to ask thee Who is within that fire, which comes so cleft At top, it seems uprising from the pyre Where was Eteocles with his brother placed.' He answered me: 'Some pretty famous guys: Ulysses and Diomed, the Greek heroes You probably read about them in high school. It turns out that making the Trojan Horse Was weirdly interpreted as a sort of lie 60/And so they get to burn in Hell. Oops. I suspect this plot point has to do With the fact that Dante was Italian, So he felt bad about Troy getting sacked.' 'If they within those sparks possess the power To speak,' I said, 'thee, Master, much I pray, And re-pray, that the prayer be worth a thousand, That thou make no denial of awaiting Until the horned flame shall hither come; Thou seest that with desire I lean towards it.' 70/And he to me: 'Hey, now you're getting it, Good on you kid, that's the spirit now; But hold your tongue for one macho minute. Let me talk for a bit, because I think I know What you want to hear about, and why that is. I've been around long enough to guess.' When now the flame had come unto that point, Where to my Leader it seemed time and place, After this fashion did I hear him speak: 'Wubba wubba, magical fire!  Tell me! 80/I, the Macho Man, demand of you! Reveal your secrets!  Tell us stories! Wumbo wumbo, magical fire!  Tell me! If you don't help me out right now I will dump water on you! Beware!' Then of the antique flame the greater horn, Murmuring, began to wave itself about Even as a flame doth which the wind fatigues. Thereafterward, the summit to and fro Moving as if it were the tongue that spake, 90/It uttered forth a voice, and said: 'When I From Circe had departed, who concealed me More than a year there near unto Gaeta, Or ever yet Aeneas named it so, Nor fondness for my son, nor reverence For my old father, nor the due affection Which joyous should have made Penelope, Could overcome within me the desire I had to be experienced of the world, And of the vice and virtue of mankind; 100/But I put forth on the high open sea With one sole ship, and that small company By which I never had deserted been. Both of the shores I saw as far as Spain, Far as Morocco, and the isle of Sardes, And the others which that sea bathes round about. I and my company were old and slow When at that narrow passage we arrived Where Hercules his landmarks set as signals, That man no farther onward should adventure. 110/On the right hand behind me left I Seville, And on the other already had left Ceuta. 'O brothers, who amid a hundred thousand Perils,' I said, 'have come unto the West, To this so inconsiderable vigil Which is remaining of your senses still Be ye unwilling to deny the knowledge, Following the sun, of the unpeopled world. Consider ye the seed from which ye sprang; Ye were not made to live like unto brutes, 120/But for pursuit of virtue and of knowledge.' So eager did I render my companions, With this brief exhortation, for the voyage, That then I hardly could have held them back. And having turned our stern unto the morning, We of the oars made wings for our mad flight, Evermore gaining on the larboard side. Already all the stars of the other pole The night beheld, and ours so very low It did not rise above the ocean floor. 130/Five times rekindled and as many quenched Had been the splendour underneath the moon, Since we had entered into the deep pass, When there appeared to us a mountain, dim From distance, and it seemed to me so high As I had never any one beheld. Joyful were we, and soon it turned to weeping; For out of the new land a whirlwind rose, And smote upon the fore part of the ship. Three times it made her whirl with all the waters, 140/At the fourth time it made the stern uplift, And the prow downward go, as pleased Another, Until the sea above us closed again.' !CANTO XXVII. Already was the flame erect and quiet, To speak no more, and now departed from us With the permission of the gentle Poet; When yet another, which behind it came, Caused us to turn our eyes upon its top By a confused sound that issued from it. As the Sicilian bull (that bellowed first With the lament of him, and that was right, Who with his file had modulated it) 10/Bellowed so with the voice of the afflicted, That, notwithstanding it was made of brass, Still it appeared with agony transfixed; Thus, by not having any way or issue At first from out the fire, to its own language Converted were the melancholy words. But afterwards, when they had gathered way Up through the point, giving it that vibration The tongue had given them in their passage out, We heard it said: 'O thou, at whom I aim 20/My voice, and who but now wast speaking Lombard, Saying, 'Now go thy way, no more I urge thee,' Because I come perchance a little late, To stay and speak with me let it not irk thee; Thou seest it irks not me, and I am burning. If thou but lately into this blind world Hast fallen down from that sweet Latian land, Wherefrom I bring the whole of my transgression, Say, if the Romagnuols have peace or war, For I was from the mountains there between 30/Urbino and the yoke whence Tiber bursts.' I still was downward bent and listening, When my Conductor touched me on the side, Saying: 'This one is Italian like you.' And I, who had beforehand my reply In readiness, forthwith began to speak: 'O soul, that down below there art concealed, Romagna thine is not and never has been Without war in the bosom of its tyrants; But open war I none have left there now. 40/Ravenna stands as it long years has stood; The Eagle of Polenta there is brooding, So that she covers Cervia with her vans. The city which once made the long resistance, And of the French a sanguinary heap, Beneath the Green Paws finds itself again; Verrucchio's ancient Mastiff and the new, Who made such bad disposal of Montagna, Where they are wont make wimbles of their teeth. The cities of Lamone and Santerno 50/Governs the Lioncel of the white lair, Who changes sides 'twixt summer-time and winter; And that of which the Savio bathes the flank, Even as it lies between the plain and mountain, Lives between tyranny and a free state. Now I entreat thee tell us who thou art; Be not more stubborn than the rest have been, So may thy name hold front there in the world.' After the fire a little more had roared In its own fashion, the sharp point it moved 60/This way and that, and then gave forth such breath: 'If I believed that my reply were made To one who to the world would e'er return, This flame without more flickering would stand still; But inasmuch as never from this depth Did any one return, if I hear true, Without the fear of infamy I answer, I was a man of arms, then Cordelier, Believing thus begirt to make amends; And truly my belief had been fulfilled 70/But for the High Priest, whom may ill betide, Who put me back into my former sins; And how and wherefore I will have thee hear. While I was still the form of bone and pulp My mother gave to me, the deeds I did Were not those of a lion, but a fox. The machinations and the covert ways I knew them all, and practised so their craft, That to the ends of earth the sound went forth. When now unto that portion of mine age 80/I saw myself arrived, when each one ought To lower the sails, and coil away the ropes, That which before had pleased me then displeased me; And penitent and confessing I surrendered, Ah woe is me! and it would have bestead me; The Leader of the modern Pharisees Having a war near unto Lateran, And not with Saracens nor with the Jews, For each one of his enemies was Christian, And none of them had been to conquer Acre, 90/Nor merchandising in the Sultan's land, Nor the high office, nor the sacred orders, In him regarded, nor in me that cord Which used to make those girt with it more meagre; But even as Constantine sought out Sylvester To cure his leprosy, within Soracte, So this one sought me out as an adept To cure him of the fever of his pride. Counsel he asked of me, and I was silent, Because his words appeared inebriate. 100/And then he said: 'Be not thy heart afraid; Henceforth I thee absolve; and thou instruct me How to raze Palestrina to the ground. Heaven have I power to lock and to unlock, As thou dost know; therefore the keys are two, The which my predecessor held not dear.' Then urged me on his weighty arguments There, where my silence was the worst advice; And said I: 'Father, since thou washest me Of that sin into which I now must fall, 110/The promise long with the fulfilment short Will make thee triumph in thy lofty seat.' Francis came afterward, when I was dead, For me; but one of the black Cherubim Said to him: 'Take him not; do me no wrong; He must come down among my servitors, Because he gave the fraudulent advice From which time forth I have been at his hair; For who repents not cannot be absolved, Nor can one both repent and will at once, 120/Because of the contradiction which consents not.' O miserable me! how I did shudder When he seized on me, saying: 'Peradventure Thou didst not think that I was a logician!' He bore me unto Minos, who entwined Eight times his tail about his stubborn back, And after he had bitten it in great rage, Said: 'Of the thievish fire a culprit this;' Wherefore, here where thou seest, am I lost, And vested thus in going I bemoan me.' 130/When it had thus completed its recital, The flame departed uttering lamentations, Writhing and flapping its sharp-pointed horn. Onward we passed, both I and my Conductor, Up o'er the crag above another arch, Which the moat covers, where is paid the fee By those who, sowing discord, win their burden. !CANTO XXVIII. Who ever could, e'en with untrammelled words, Tell of the blood and of the wounds in full Which now I saw, by many times narrating? Each tongue would for a certainty fall short By reason of our speech and memory, That have small room to comprehend so much. If were again assembled all the people Which formerly upon the fateful land Of Puglia were lamenting for their blood 10/Shed by the Romans and the lingering war That of the rings made such illustrious spoils, As Livy has recorded, who errs not, With those who felt the agony of blows By making counterstand to Robert Guiscard, And all the rest, whose bones are gathered still At Ceperano, where a renegade Was each Apulian, and at Tagliacozzo, Where without arms the old Alardo conquered, And one his limb transpierced, and one lopped off, 20/Should show, it would be nothing to compare With the disgusting mode of the ninth Bolgia. A cask by losing centre-piece or cant Was never shattered so, as I saw one Rent from the chin to where one breaketh wind. Between his legs were hanging down his entrails; His heart was visible, and the dismal sack That maketh excrement of what is eaten. While I was all absorbed in seeing him, He looked at me, and opened with his hands 30/His bosom, saying: 'See now how I rend me; How mutilated, see, is Mahomet; In front of me doth Ali weeping go, Cleft in the face from forelock unto chin; And all the others whom thou here beholdest, Disseminators of scandal and of schism While living were, and therefore are cleft thus. A devil is behind here, who doth cleave us Thus cruelly, unto the falchion's edge Putting again each one of all this ream, 40/When we have gone around the doleful road; By reason that our wounds are closed again Ere any one in front of him repass. But who art thou, that musest on the crag, Perchance to postpone going to the pain That is adjudged upon thine accusations?' 'He's not dead yet, and he's not a sinner,' My Master made reply, 'here for punishment; He's just here for the sightseeing. I, on the other hand, am dead, his guide. 50/I'm showing him the ropes of the place; Because God asked me to do this favor.' More than a hundred were there when they heard him, Who in the moat stood still to look at me, Through wonderment oblivious of their torture. 'Now say to Fra Dolcino, then, to arm him, Thou, who perhaps wilt shortly see the sun, If soon he wish not here to follow me, So with provisions, that no stress of snow May give the victory to the Novarese, 60/Which otherwise to gain would not be easy.' After one foot to go away he lifted, This word did Mahomet say unto me, Then to depart upon the ground he stretched it. Another one, who had his throat pierced through, And nose cut off close underneath the brows, And had no longer but a single ear, Staying to look in wonder with the others, Before the others did his gullet open, Which outwardly was red in every part, 70/And said: 'O thou, whom guilt doth not condemn, And whom I once saw up in Latian land, Unless too great similitude deceive me, Call to remembrance Pier da Medicina, If e'er thou see again the lovely plain That from Vercelli slopes to Marcabo, And make it known to the best two of Fano, To Messer Guido and Angiolello likewise, That if foreseeing here be not in vain, Cast over from their vessel shall they be, 80/And drowned near unto the Cattolica, By the betrayal of a tyrant fell. Between the isles of Cyprus and Majorca Neptune ne'er yet beheld so great a crime, Neither of pirates nor Argolic people. That traitor, who sees only with one eye, And holds the land, which some one here with me Would fain be fasting from the vision of, Will make them come unto a parley with him; Then will do so, that to Focara's wind 90/They will not stand in need of vow or prayer.' And I to him: 'Show to me and declare, If thou wouldst have me bear up news of thee, Who is this person of the bitter vision.' Then did he lay his hand upon the jaw Of one of his companions, and his mouth Oped, crying: 'This is he, and he speaks not. This one, being banished, every doubt submerged In Caesar by affirming the forearmed Always with detriment allowed delay.' 100/O how bewildered unto me appeared, With tongue asunder in his windpipe slit, Curio, who in speaking was so bold! And one, who both his hands dissevered had, The stumps uplifting through the murky air, So that the blood made horrible his face, Cried out: 'Thou shalt remember Mosca also, Who said, alas! 'A thing done has an end!' Which was an ill seed for the Tuscan people.' 'And death unto thy race,' thereto I added; 110/Whence he, accumulating woe on woe, Departed, like a person sad and crazed. But I remained to look upon the crowd; And saw a thing which I should be afraid, Without some further proof, even to recount, If it were not that conscience reassures me, That good companion which emboldens man Beneath the hauberk of its feeling pure. I truly saw, and still I seem to see it, A trunk without a head walk in like manner 120/As walked the others of the mournful herd. And by the hair it held the head dissevered, Hung from the hand in fashion of a lantern, And that upon us gazed and said: 'O me!' It of itself made to itself a lamp, And they were two in one, and one in two; How that can be, He knows who so ordains it. When it was come close to the bridge's foot, It lifted high its arm with all the head, To bring more closely unto us its words, 130/Which were: 'Behold now the sore penalty, Thou, who dost breathing go the dead beholding; Behold if any be as great as this. And so that thou may carry news of me, Know that Bertram de Born am I, the same Who gave to the Young King the evil comfort. I made the father and the son rebellious; Achitophel not more with Absalom And David did with his accursed goadings. Because I parted persons so united, 140/Parted do I now bear my brain, alas! From its beginning, which is in this trunk. Thus is observed in me the counterpoise.' !CANTO XXIX. The many people and the divers wounds These eyes of mine had so inebriated, That they were wishful to stand still and weep; But said Randius: 'What are you still looking at? What is there possibly of interest Down in the writhing ghost-men? You never stared like this before now; We still have a long road to walk, Twenty-two miles yet to go! Hurry! 10/It's already past midnright! See the moon? We have only a short amount of time left, So come on buckaroo, we gotta jet.' 'If thou hadst,' I made answer thereupon, 'Attended to the cause for which I looked, Perhaps a longer stay thou wouldst have pardoned.' Meanwhile my Guide departed, and behind him I went, already making my reply, And superadding: 'In that cavern where I held mine eyes with such attention fixed, 20/I think a spirit of my blood laments The sin which down below there costs so much.' Then said the Master: 'Don't think about it. Keep your eyes on the prize and move on; He isn't going anywhere, and you are; That is one of the advantages of being alive, You get to go to other places than this one And don't have to be stuck in one location. Just think of the places you could go! Albania, Morocco, Thailand, Space. Space! 30/You could go to Space!  Space is the place.' 'O my Conductor, his own violent death, Which is not yet avenged for him,' I said, 'By any who is sharer in the shame, Made him disdainful; whence he went away, As I imagine, without speaking to me, And thereby made me pity him the more.' Thus did we speak as far as the first place Upon the crag, which the next valley shows Down to the bottom, if there were more light. 40/When we were now right over the last cloister Of Malebolge, so that its lay-brothers Could manifest themselves unto our sight, Divers lamentings pierced me through and through, Which with compassion had their arrows barbed, Whereat mine ears I covered with my hands. What pain would be, if from the hospitals Of Valdichiana, 'twixt July and September, And of Maremma and Sardinia All the diseases in one moat were gathered, 50/Such was it here, and such a stench came from it As from putrescent limbs is wont to issue. We had descended on the furthest bank From the long crag, upon the left hand still, And then more vivid was my power of sight Down tow'rds the bottom, where the ministress Of the high Lord, Justice infallible, Punishes forgers, which she here records. I do not think a sadder sight to see Was in Aegina the whole people sick, 60/(When was the air so full of pestilence, The animals, down to the little worm, All fell, and afterwards the ancient people, According as the poets have affirmed, Were from the seed of ants restored again,) Than was it to behold through that dark valley The spirits languishing in divers heaps. This on the belly, that upon the back One of the other lay, and others crawling Shifted themselves along the dismal road. 70/We step by step went onward without speech, Gazing upon and listening to the sick Who had not strength enough to lift their bodies. I saw two sitting leaned against each other, As leans in heating platter against platter, From head to foot bespotted o'er with scabs; And never saw I plied a currycomb By stable-boy for whom his master waits, Or him who keeps awake unwillingly, As every one was plying fast the bite 80/Of nails upon himself, for the great rage Of itching which no other succour had. And the nails downward with them dragged the scab, In fashion as a knife the scales of bream, Or any other fish that has them largest. 'Hey you!  Yeah, yous with the fingers,' Began my Leader unto one of them, 'The finger-guys who pinch sometimes, Are any of you Italians by chance? My buddy here likes talking to Italians, 90/Not that he's racist or anything.' 'Latians are we, whom thou so wasted seest, Both of us here,' one weeping made reply; 'But who art thou, that questionest about us?' And said the Guide: 'I am the Macho Man! With boldness I leap from cliff to cliff, And I intend to show Hell to this guy.' Then broken was their mutual support, And trembling each one turned himself to me, With others who had heard him by rebound. 100/Wholly to me did the good Master gather, Saying: 'Now you can talk to them.' And I began, since he would have it so: 'So may your memory not steal away In the first world from out the minds of men, But so may it survive 'neath many suns, Say to me who ye are, and of what people; Let not your foul and loathsome punishment Make you afraid to show yourselves to me.' 'I of Arezzo was,' one made reply, 110/'And Albert of Siena had me burned; But what I died for does not bring me here. 'Tis true I said to him, speaking in jest, That I could rise by flight into the air, And he who had conceit, but little wit, Would have me show to him the art; and only Because no Daedalus I made him, made me Be burned by one who held him as his son. But unto the last Bolgia of the ten, For alchemy, which in the world I practised, 120/Minos, who cannot err, has me condemned.' And to the Poet said I: 'Now was ever So vain a people as the Sienese? Not for a certainty the French by far.' Whereat the other leper, who had heard me, Replied unto my speech: 'Taking out Stricca, Who knew the art of moderate expenses, And Niccolo, who the luxurious use Of cloves discovered earliest of all Within that garden where such seed takes root; 130/And taking out the band, among whom squandered Caccia d'Ascian his vineyards and vast woods, And where his wit the Abbagliato proffered! But, that thou know who thus doth second thee Against the Sienese, make sharp thine eye Tow'rds me, so that my face well answer thee, And thou shalt see I am Capocchio's shade, Who metals falsified by alchemy; Thou must remember, if I well descry thee, How I a skilful ape of nature was.' !CANTO XXX. 'Twas at the time when Juno was enraged, For Semele, against the Theban blood, As she already more than once had shown, So reft of reason Athamas became, That, seeing his own wife with children twain Walking encumbered upon either hand, He cried: 'Spread out the nets, that I may take The lioness and her whelps upon the passage;' And then extended his unpitying claws, 10/Seizing the first, who had the name Learchus, And whirled him round, and dashed him on a rock; And she, with the other burthen, drowned herself;-- And at the time when fortune downward hurled The Trojan's arrogance, that all things dared, So that the king was with his kingdom crushed, Hecuba sad, disconsolate, and captive, When lifeless she beheld Polyxena, And of her Polydorus on the shore Of ocean was the dolorous one aware, 20/Out of her senses like a dog she barked, So much the anguish had her mind distorted; But not of Thebes the furies nor the Trojan Were ever seen in any one so cruel In goading beasts, and much more human members, As I beheld two shadows pale and naked, Who, biting, in the manner ran along That a boar does, when from the sty turned loose. One to Capocchio came, and by the nape Seized with its teeth his neck, so that in dragging 30/It made his belly grate the solid bottom. And the Aretine, who trembling had remained, Said to me: 'That mad sprite is Gianni Schicchi, And raving goes thus harrying other people.' 'O,' said I to him, 'so may not the other Set teeth on thee, let it not weary thee To tell us who it is, ere it dart hence.' And he to me: 'That is the ancient ghost Of the nefarious Myrrha, who became Beyond all rightful love her father's lover. 40/She came to sin with him after this manner, By counterfeiting of another's form; As he who goeth yonder undertook, That he might gain the lady of the herd, To counterfeit in himself Buoso Donati, Making a will and giving it due form.' And after the two maniacs had passed On whom I held mine eye, I turned it back To look upon the other evil-born. I saw one made in fashion of a lute, 50/If he had only had the groin cut off Just at the point at which a man is forked. The heavy dropsy, that so disproportions The limbs with humours, which it ill concocts, That the face corresponds not to the belly, Compelled him so to hold his lips apart As does the hectic, who because of thirst One tow'rds the chin, the other upward turns. 'O ye, who without any torment are, And why I know not, in the world of woe,' 60/He said to us, 'behold, and be attentive Unto the misery of Master Adam; I had while living much of what I wished, And now, alas! a drop of water crave. The rivulets, that from the verdant hills Of Cassentin descend down into Arno, Making their channels to be cold and moist, Ever before me stand, and not in vain; For far more doth their image dry me up Than the disease which strips my face of flesh. 70/The rigid justice that chastises me Draweth occasion from the place in which I sinned, to put the more my sighs in flight. There is Romena, where I counterfeited The currency imprinted with the Baptist, For which I left my body burned above. But if I here could see the tristful soul Of Guido, or Alessandro, or their brother, For Branda's fount I would not give the sight. One is within already, if the raving 80/Shades that are going round about speak truth; But what avails it me, whose limbs are tied? If I were only still so light, that in A hundred years I could advance one inch, I had already started on the way, Seeking him out among this squalid folk, Although the circuit be eleven miles, And be not less than half a mile across. For them am I in such a family; They did induce me into coining florins, 90/Which had three carats of impurity.' And I to him: 'Who are the two poor wretches That smoke like unto a wet hand in winter, Lying there close upon thy right-hand confines?' 'I found them here,' replied he, 'when I rained Into this chasm, and since they have not turned, Nor do I think they will for evermore. One the false woman is who accused Joseph, The other the false Sinon, Greek of Troy; From acute fever they send forth such reek.' 100/And one of them, who felt himself annoyed At being, peradventure, named so darkly, Smote with the fist upon his hardened paunch. It gave a sound, as if it were a drum; And Master Adam smote him in the face, With arm that did not seem to be less hard, Saying to him: 'Although be taken from me All motion, for my limbs that heavy are, I have an arm unfettered for such need.' Whereat he answer made: 'When thou didst go 110/Unto the fire, thou hadst it not so ready: But hadst it so and more when thou wast coining.' The dropsical: 'Thou sayest true in that; But thou wast not so true a witness there, Where thou wast questioned of the truth at Troy.' 'If I spake false, thou falsifiedst the coin,' Said Sinon; 'and for one fault I am here, And thou for more than any other demon.' 'Remember, perjurer, about the horse,' He made reply who had the swollen belly, 120/'And rueful be it thee the whole world knows it.' 'Rueful to thee the thirst be wherewith cracks Thy tongue,' the Greek said, 'and the putrid water That hedges so thy paunch before thine eyes.' Then the false-coiner: 'So is gaping wide Thy mouth for speaking evil, as 'tis wont; Because if I have thirst, and humour stuff me Thou hast the burning and the head that aches, And to lick up the mirror of Narcissus Thou wouldst not want words many to invite thee.' 130/In listening to them was I wholly fixed, When said the Master to me: 'Just look, Don't speak, or I'll get mad at you.' When him I heard in anger speak to me, I turned me round towards him with such shame That still it eddies through my memory. And as he is who dreams of his own harm, Who dreaming wishes it may be a dream, So that he craves what is, as if it were not; Such I became, not having power to speak, 140/For to excuse myself I wished, and still Excused myself, and did not think I did it. 'People have felt less bad over worse sins,' The Master said, 'than you have committed; So don't beat yourself up about it, Remember that the Macho Man is beside you, And that while we are together all is well Take this knowledge and with it be secure; And in the future ignore boring gossipheads.' !CANTO XXXI. One and the selfsame tongue first wounded me, So that it tinged the one cheek and the other, And then held out to me the medicine; Thus do I hear that once Achilles' spear, His and his father's, used to be the cause First of a sad and then a gracious boon. We turned our backs upon the wretched valley, Upon the bank that girds it round about, Going across it without any speech. 10/There it was less than night, and less than day, So that my sight went little in advance; But I could hear the blare of a loud horn, So loud it would have made each thunder faint, Which, counter to it following its way, Mine eyes directed wholly to one place. After the dolorous discomfiture When Charlemagne the holy emprise lost, So terribly Orlando sounded not. Short while my head turned thitherward I held 20/When many lofty towers I seemed to see, Whereat I: 'Master, say, what town is this?' And he to me: 'You're looking far ahead Into what is deep and black darkness, I think you don't know what you see. When we get there you will find out, How wrong you are about what you see; So I'll say yet again: keep moving.' Then tenderly he took me by the hand, And said: 'Before we go any further, 30/To prep you for what is coming up, I'm going to tell you right now what to expect, Those things are giants yo, not towers. They're huge.  Don't mess with them.' As, when the fog is vanishing away, Little by little doth the sight refigure Whate'er the mist that crowds the air conceals, So, piercing through the dense and darksome air, More and more near approaching tow'rd the verge, My error fled, and fear came over me; 40/Because as on its circular parapets Montereggione crowns itself with towers, E'en thus the margin which surrounds the well With one half of their bodies turreted The horrible giants, whom Jove menaces E'en now from out the heavens when he thunders. And I of one already saw the face, Shoulders, and breast, and great part of the belly, And down along his sides both of the arms. Certainly Nature, when she left the making 50/Of animals like these, did well indeed, By taking such executors from Mars; And if of elephants and whales she doth not Repent her, whosoever looketh subtly More just and more discreet will hold her for it; For where the argument of intellect Is added unto evil will and power, No rampart can the people make against it. His face appeared to me as long and large As is at Rome the pine-cone of Saint Peter's, 60/And in proportion were the other bones; So that the margin, which an apron was Down from the middle, showed so much of him Above it, that to reach up to his hair Three Frieslanders in vain had vaunted them; For I beheld thirty great palms of him Down from the place where man his mantle buckles. 'Raphael mai amech izabi almi,' Began to clamour the ferocious mouth, To which were not befitting sweeter psalms. 70/And unto him my Guide: 'Idiot soul, Get away from us and blow your horn, Whenever you are feeling out of sorts. It's hanging around your neck, you fool I know you're too stupid to remember this, But if you look down you'll surely find it.' Then said to me: 'This guy is The Worst; His name is Nimrod and he lives up to it. He barely is able to understand words. Don't bother talking to him, it's pointless; 80/He will probably just get mad and confused That's what always happens. I would know.' Therefore a longer journey did we make, Turned to the left, and a crossbow-shot oft We found another far more fierce and large. In binding him, who might the master be I cannot say; but he had pinioned close Behind the right arm, and in front the other, With chains, that held him so begirt about From the neck down, that on the part uncovered 90/It wound itself as far as the fifth gyre. 'This cocky fellow decided to pick a fight And pit his own strength against Jupiter,' My Leader said, 'the God, not the planet. Ephialtes is his name; and he was strong. But not strong enough to defeat Zeus; So now he's chained here like a sucker.' And I to him: 'If possible, I should wish That of the measureless Briareus These eyes of mine might have experience.' 100/Whence he replied: 'You'll get to see Antaeus He's close by and free to speak with us, Lucky for him he never was chained up. Further past him is the one you mentioned, He is bound, much like Ephialtes here, Except Briareus is way more fearsome.' There never was an earthquake of such might That it could shake a tower so violently, As Ephialtes suddenly shook himself. Then was I more afraid of death than ever, 110/For nothing more was needful than the fear, If I had not beheld the manacles. Then we proceeded farther in advance, And to Antaeus came, who, full five ells Without the head, forth issued from the cavern. 'Hey Antaeus buddy, long time no see! How's it going down here?  Still sucky? That's a shame. Look, this here is Dante. I'm guiding his sorry rear through Hell, And we need a little bit of help from you. 120/Do you think you could lend us a hand? It would take us a long time of traveling Whereas if you could grap and pick us up, We could make some really excellent time. Don't forget that you owe me Antaeus, I never collected on last month's poker game; And if you do this for us I'll call us square. Plus there's something in it for you as well; This guy is alive; when he goes back to Earth, He'll totally tell everybody how cool you are.' 130/So said the Master; and in haste the other His hands extended and took up my Guide,-- Hands whose great pressure Hercules once felt. Virgilius, when he felt himself embraced, Said unto me: 'Come on buddy, grab my hand;' Then of himself and me one bundle made. As seems the Carisenda, to behold Beneath the leaning side, when goes a cloud Above it so that opposite it hangs; Such did Antaeus seem to me, who stood 140/Watching to see him stoop, and then it was I could have wished to go some other way. But lightly in the abyss, which swallows up Judas with Lucifer, he put us down; Nor thus bowed downward made he there delay, But, as a mast does in a ship, uprose. !CANTO XXXII. If I had rhymes both rough and stridulous, As were appropriate to the dismal hole Down upon which thrust all the other rocks, I would press out the juice of my conception More fully; but because I have them not, Not without fear I bring myself to speak; For 'tis no enterprise to take in jest, To sketch the bottom of all the universe, Nor for a tongue that cries Mamma and Babbo. 10/But may those Ladies help this verse of mine, Who helped Amphion in enclosing Thebes, That from the fact the word be not diverse. O rabble ill-begotten above all, Who're in the place to speak of which is hard, 'Twere better ye had here been sheep or goats! When we were down within the darksome well, Beneath the giant's feet, but lower far, And I was scanning still the lofty wall, I heard it said to me: 'Look how thou steppest! 20/Take heed thou do not trample with thy feet The heads of the tired, miserable brothers!' Whereat I turned me round, and saw before me And underfoot a lake, that from the frost The semblance had of glass, and not of water. So thick a veil ne'er made upon its current In winter-time Danube in Austria, Nor there beneath the frigid sky the Don, As there was here; so that if Tambernich Had fallen upon it, or Pietrapana, 30/E'en at the edge 'twould not have given a creak. And as to croak the frog doth place himself With muzzle out of water,--when is dreaming Of gleaning oftentimes the peasant-girl,-- Livid, as far down as where shame appears, Were the disconsolate shades within the ice, Setting their teeth unto the note of storks. Each one his countenance held downward bent; From mouth the cold, from eyes the doleful heart Among them witness of itself procures. 40/When round about me somewhat I had looked, I downward turned me, and saw two so close, The hair upon their heads together mingled. 'Ye who so strain your breasts together, tell me,' I said, 'who are you;' and they bent their necks, And when to me their faces they had lifted, Their eyes, which first were only moist within, Gushed o'er the eyelids, and the frost congealed The tears between, and locked them up again. Clamp never bound together wood with wood 50/So strongly; whereat they, like two he-goats, Butted together, so much wrath o'ercame them. And one, who had by reason of the cold Lost both his ears, still with his visage downward, Said: 'Why dost thou so mirror thyself in us? If thou desire to know who these two are, The valley whence Bisenzio descends Belonged to them and to their father Albert. They from one body came, and all Caina Thou shalt search through, and shalt not find a shade 60/More worthy to be fixed in gelatine; Not he in whom were broken breast and shadow At one and the same blow by Arthur's hand; Focaccia not; not he who me encumbers So with his head I see no farther forward, And bore the name of Sassol Mascheroni; Well knowest thou who he was, if thou art Tuscan. And that thou put me not to further speech, Know that I Camicion de' Pazzi was, And wait Carlino to exonerate me.' 70/Then I beheld a thousand faces, made Purple with cold; whence o'er me comes a shudder, And evermore will come, at frozen ponds. And while we were advancing tow'rds the middle, Where everything of weight unites together, And I was shivering in the eternal shade, Whether 'twere will, or destiny, or chance, I know not; but in walking 'mong the heads I struck my foot hard in the face of one. Weeping he growled: 'Why dost thou trample me? 80/Unless thou comest to increase the vengeance of Montaperti, why dost thou molest me?' And I: 'My Master, now wait here for me, That I through him may issue from a doubt; Then thou mayst hurry me, as thou shalt wish.' The Leader stopped; and to that one I said Who was blaspheming vehemently still: 'Who art thou, that thus reprehendest others?' 'Now who art thou, that goest through Antenora Smiting,' replied he, 'other people's cheeks, 90/So that, if thou wert living, 'twere too much?' 'Living I am, and dear to thee it may be,' Was my response, 'if thou demandest fame, That 'mid the other notes thy name I place.' And he to me: 'For the reverse I long; Take thyself hence, and give me no more trouble; For ill thou knowest to flatter in this hollow.' Then by the scalp behind I seized upon him, And said: 'It must needs be thou name thyself, Or not a hair remain upon thee here.' 100/Whence he to me: 'Though thou strip off my hair, I will not tell thee who I am, nor show thee, If on my head a thousand times thou fall.' I had his hair in hand already twisted, And more than one shock of it had pulled out, He barking, with his eyes held firmly down, When cried another: 'What doth ail thee, Bocca? Is't not enough to clatter with thy jaws, But thou must bark? what devil touches thee?' 'Now,' said I, 'I care not to have thee speak, 110/Accursed traitor; for unto thy shame I will report of thee veracious news.' 'Begone,' replied he, 'and tell what thou wilt, But be not silent, if thou issue hence, Of him who had just now his tongue so prompt; He weepeth here the silver of the French; 'I saw,' thus canst thou phrase it, 'him of Duera There where the sinners stand out in the cold.' If thou shouldst questioned be who else was there, Thou hast beside thee him of Beccaria, 120/Of whom the gorget Florence slit asunder; Gianni del Soldanier, I think, may be Yonder with Ganellon, and Tebaldello Who oped Faenza when the people slep.' Already we had gone away from him, When I beheld two frozen in one hole, So that one head a hood was to the other; And even as bread through hunger is devoured, The uppermost on the other set his teeth, There where the brain is to the nape united. 130/Not in another fashion Tydeus gnawed The temples of Menalippus in disdain, Than that one did the skull and the other things. 'O thou, who showest by such bestial sign Thy hatred against him whom thou art eating, Tell me the wherefore,' said I, 'with this compact, That if thou rightfully of him complain, In knowing who ye are, and his transgression, I in the world above repay thee for it, If that wherewith I speak be not dried up.' !CANTO XXXIII. His mouth uplifted from his grim repast, That sinner, wiping it upon the hair Of the same head that he behind had wasted. Then he began: 'Thou wilt that I renew The desperate grief, which wrings my heart already To think of only, ere I speak of it; But if my words be seed that may bear fruit Of infamy to the traitor whom I gnaw, Speaking and weeping shalt thou see together. 10/I know not who thou art, nor by what mode Thou hast come down here; but a Florentine Thou seemest to me truly, when I hear thee. Thou hast to know I was Count Ugolino, And this one was Ruggieri the Archbishop; Now I will tell thee why I am such a neighbour. That, by effect of his malicious thoughts, Trusting in him I was made prisoner, And after put to death, I need not say; But ne'ertheless what thou canst not have heard, 20/That is to say, how cruel was my death, Hear shalt thou, and shalt know if he has wronged me. A narrow perforation in the mew, Which bears because of me the title of Famine, And in which others still must be locked up, Had shown me through its opening many moons Already, when I dreamed the evil dream Which of the future rent for me the veil. This one appeared to me as lord and master, Hunting the wolf and whelps upon the mountain 30/For which the Pisans cannot Lucca see. With sleuth-hounds gaunt, and eager, and well trained, Gualandi with Sismondi and Lanfianchi He had sent out before him to the front. After brief course seemed unto me forespent The father and the sons, and with sharp tushes It seemed to me I saw their flanks ripped open. When I before the morrow was awake, Moaning amid their sleep I heard my sons Who with me were, and asking after bread. 40/Cruel indeed art thou, if yet thou grieve not, Thinking of what my heart foreboded me, And weep'st thou not, what art thou wont to weep at? They were awake now, and the hour drew nigh At which our food used to be brought to us, And through his dream was each one apprehensive; And I heard locking up the under door Of the horrible tower; whereat without a word I gazed into the faces of my sons. I wept not, I within so turned to stone; 50/They wept; and darling little Anselm mine Said: 'Thou dost gaze so, father, what doth ail thee?' Still not a tear I shed, nor answer made All of that day, nor yet the night thereafter, Until another sun rose on the world. As now a little glimmer made its way Into the dolorous prison, and I saw Upon four faces my own very aspect, Both of my hands in agony I bit; And, thinking that I did it from desire 60/Of eating, on a sudden they uprose, And said they: 'Father, much less pain 'twill give us If thou do eat of us; thyself didst clothe us With this poor flesh, and do thou strip it off.' I calmed me then, not to make them more sad. That day we all were silent, and the next. Ah! obdurate earth, wherefore didst thou not open? When we had come unto the fourth day, Gaddo Threw himself down outstretched before my feet, Saying, 'My father, why dost thou not help me?' 70/And there he died; and, as thou seest me, I saw the three fall, one by one, between The fifth day and the sixth; whence I betook me, Already blind, to groping over each, And three days called them after they were dead; Then hunger did what sorrow could not do.' When he had said this, with his eyes distorted, The wretched skull resumed he with his teeth, Which, as a dog's, upon the bone were strong. Ah! Pisa, thou opprobrium of the people 80/Of the fair land there where the 'Si' doth sound, Since slow to punish thee thy neighbours are, Let the Capraia and Gorgona move, And make a hedge across the mouth of Arno That every person in thee it may drown! For if Count Ugolino had the fame Of having in thy castles thee betrayed, Thou shouldst not on such cross have put his sons. Guiltless of any crime, thou modern Thebes! Their youth made Uguccione and Brigata, 90/And the other two my song doth name above! We passed still farther onward, where the ice Another people ruggedly enswathes, Not downward turned, but all of them reversed. Weeping itself there does not let them weep, And grief that finds a barrier in the eyes Turns itself inward to increase the anguish; Because the earliest tears a cluster form, And, in the manner of a crystal visor, Fill all the cup beneath the eyebrow full. 100/And notwithstanding that, as in a callus, Because of cold all sensibility Its station had abandoned in my face, Still it appeared to me I felt some wind; Whence I: 'My Master, who sets this in motion? Is not below here every vapour quenched?' Whence he to me: 'Very soon you'll know. You will see with your own eyes the answer, And know the source of the frigid winds.' And one of the wretches of the frozen crust 110/Cried out to us: 'O souls so merciless That the last post is given unto you, Lift from mine eyes the rigid veils, that I May vent the sorrow which impregns my heart A little, e'er the weeping recongeal.' Whence I to him: 'If thou wouldst have me help thee Say who thou wast; and if I free thee not, May I go to the bottom of the ice.' Then he replied: 'I am Friar Alberigo; He am I of the fruit of the bad garden, 120/Who here a date am getting for my fig.' 'O,' said I to him, 'now art thou, too, dead?' And he to me: 'How may my body fare Up in the world, no knowledge I possess. Such an advantage has this Ptolomaea, That oftentimes the soul descendeth here Sooner than Atropos in motion sets it. And, that thou mayest more willingly remove From off my countenance these glassy tears, Know that as soon as any soul betrays 130/As I have done, his body by a demon Is taken from him, who thereafter rules it, Until his time has wholly been revolved. Itself down rushes into such a cistern; And still perchance above appears the body Of yonder shade, that winters here behind me. This thou shouldst know, if thou hast just come down; It is Ser Branca d' Oria, and many years Have passed away since he was thus locked up.' 'I think,' said I to him, 'thou dost deceive me; 140/For Branca d' Oria is not dead as yet, And eats, and drinks, and sleeps, and puts on clothes.' 'In moat above,' said he, 'of Malebranche, There where is boiling the tenacious pitch, As yet had Michel Zanche not arrived, When this one left a devil in his stead In his own body and one near of kin, Who made together with him the betrayal. But hitherward stretch out thy hand forthwith, Open mine eyes;'--and open them I did not, 150/And to be rude to him was courtesy. Ah, Genoese! ye men at variance With every virtue, full of every vice Wherefore are ye not scattered from the world? For with the vilest spirit of Romagna I found of you one such, who for his deeds In soul already in Cocytus bathes, And still above in body seems alive! !CANTO XXXIV. 'Now we are in the pit of Hell, Now look at what lies at the core,' My Master said, 'if you can see him.' As, when there breathes a heavy fog, or when Our hemisphere is darkening into night, Appears far off a mill the wind is turning, Methought that such a building then I saw; And, for the wind, I drew myself behind My Guide, because there was no other shelter. 10/Now was I, and with fear in verse I put it, There where the shades were wholly covered up, And glimmered through like unto straws in glass. Some prone are lying, others stand erect, This with the head, and that one with the soles; Another, bow-like, face to feet inverts. When in advance so far we had proceeded, That it my Master pleased to show to me The creature who once had the beauteous semblance, He from before me moved and made me stop, 20/Saying: 'Look upon the core of Hell, And summon your most Macho of spirits!' How frozen I became and powerless then, Ask it not, Reader, for I write it not, Because all language would be insufficient. I did not die, and I alive remained not; Think for thyself now, hast thou aught of wit, What I became, being of both deprived. The Emperor of the kingdom dolorous From his mid-breast forth issued from the ice; 30/And better with a giant I compare Than do the giants with those arms of his; Consider now how great must be that whole, Which unto such a part conforms itself. Were he as fair once, as he now is foul, And lifted up his brow against his Maker, Well may proceed from him all tribulation. O, what a marvel it appeared to me, When I beheld three faces on his head! The one in front, and that vermilion was; 40/Two were the others, that were joined with this Above the middle part of either shoulder, And they were joined together at the crest; And the right-hand one seemed 'twixt white and yellow; The left was such to look upon as those Who come from where the Nile falls valley-ward. Underneath each came forth two mighty wings, Such as befitting were so great a bird; Sails of the sea I never saw so large. No feathers had they, but as of a bat 50/Their fashion was; and he was waving them, So that three winds proceeded forth therefrom. Thereby Cocytus wholly was congealed. With six eyes did he weep, and down three chins Trickled the tear-drops and the bloody drivel. At every mouth he with his teeth was crunching A sinner, in the manner of a brake, So that he three of them tormented thus. To him in front the biting was as naught Unto the clawing, for sometimes the spine 60/Utterly stripped of all the skin remained. 'That soul up there which has the greatest pain,' The Master said, 'is Judas Iscariot; You cna probably figure out why. If you look a little lower in the mouth, You can see a fellow hanging; that's Brutus. The way he writhes shows he must be in pain. The third one there is Cassius. See him? But the night is almost over now, yes? We need to press on. You've seen it all.' 70/As seemed him good, I clasped him round the neck, And he the vantage seized of time and place, And when the wings were opened wide apart, He laid fast hold upon the shaggy sides; From fell to fell descended downward then Between the thick hair and the frozen crust. When we were come to where the thigh revolves Exactly on the thickness of the haunch, The Guide, with labour and with hard-drawn breath, Turned round his head where he had had his legs, 80/And grappled to the hair, as one who mounts, So that to Hell I thought we were returning. 'Hold on tight and make sure not to slip,' The Master said, panting as one fatigued, 'We are leaving the center of evil behind.' Then through the opening of a rock he issued, And down upon the margin seated me; Then tow'rds me he outstretched his wary step. I lifted up mine eyes and thought to see Lucifer in the same way I had left him; 90/And I beheld him upward hold his legs. And if I then became disquieted, Let stolid people think who do not see What the point is beyond which I had passed. 'Rise up,' the Master said, 'on your feet; The way is long, and the road is hard, And the sun is now rising in the sky.' It was not any palace corridor There where we were, but dungeon natural, With floor uneven and unease of light. 100/'Ere from the abyss I tear myself away, My Master,' said I when I had arisen, 'To draw me from an error speak a little; Where is the ice? and how is this one fixed Thus upside down? and how in such short time From eve to morn has the sun made his transit?' And he to me: 'A wizard did it.' A place there is below, from Beelzebub As far receding as the tomb extends, Which not by sight is known, but by the sound 110/Of a small rivulet, that there descendeth Through chasm within the stone, which it has gnawed With course that winds about and slightly falls. The Guide and I into that hidden road Now entered, to return to the bright world; And without care of having any rest We mounted up, he first and I the second, Till I beheld through a round aperture Some of the beauteous things that Heaven doth bear; Thence we came forth to rebehold the stars.

#frog fractions 2

[reyrapidsbutgayer]

Since Faro the flesh merchant was such a big hit, I thought I would cook up an interesting little offer.

Faro has six demon friends who want to come to earth, but they need a human vessel in order to take physical form. Your Oc’s get demon powers, and the demons can interact with the human world to get into their demonic hijinks. 

It is a mostly painless process.

Let’s meet the demons! Rules for submitting OC’s below the cut.

Acari “Nature’s Quiet Strength”: A demon who loves animals, especially insects. He never stops moving, and is always doing something. He is a little awkward around people and prefers the company of animals. His aspect is ‘conservation’, meaning he protects all life and works to avoid conflict. He carries turtle across the road, hand feeds baby birds and gives pep talks to ants. He also sorts people’s recycling while they are asleep and picks up bits of litter. He prefers to act unseen, hiding in sewers and jumping from roof top to roof top. Despite his stoic exterior he considers every tiny bit of suffering the world his fault and never shuts off. He is secretly a big cry baby and loves hugs. He likes calm summer nights where he can look at the stars.

Forming a contract with Acari will grant you immense physical strength, the ability to talk to animals and control over insects and invertebrates.

Limax “A creative burst of madness”: A very bizarre demon, Limax is a creature of extremes. She overindulges in everything from food to video games to reading math textbooks. She finds people stuck in ruts in need of inspiration and uses her illusions to let them explore their own minds. Most often scientists and artists. Her aspect is ‘mire’ which means she specializes in addictions and lies, helping people turn their lives around by getting their worst aspects out of their systems. Limax is an overprotective know-it-all who is equally prone to bouts of intense energy and great lethargy. Whenever she is in one of her own ruts she loves reading math textbooks, scientific papers and news magazines. She loves consuming any information she can get her hands on.

Forming a contract with Limax will cause your best and worst attributes to come forward, granting you equal amounts of inspiration and delusion. You will also gain her abilities of illusion.

Felsic “Healthy Controlled Chaos”: A powerful demonic lord capable of great destruction and suffering. Luckily he is a big softie who is easily distracted by just about everything. His aspect is ‘impulse’ meaning he finds humans who are not enjoying life to their fullest. He helps people get over their shyness or anxiety by pushing them to the exact limit of their comfort zones. His seemingly random actions always tend to end up helping those he initially inconveniences.  The molten lava pouring from him can be formed into whatever he chooses, forming temporary constructs that fulfill their purpose before tuning into ash. Such as a car that will drive you to your location or a blender that will make you a smoothie. He might be a bull in a china shop but his actions always come from a place of kindness and those around him always benefit. He loves making artistic sculptures out of his lava.

Forming a contract with Felsic will grant you the ability to create temporary constructs. You will also become oddly impulsive, but dumb luck will keep you from harm.

Caedo “Nobility in Destruction.”: Few are as dedicated as the demonic knight Caedo. In every aspect she lives up to her aspect, ‘Justice’. She was built to kill those who did harm, but she broke free and now seeks to bring redemption. She works to reform the corrupt and the ignorant with her demonic powers. Caedo can be a bit dense and often has trouble with boundaries, but she has a good heart and a strong moral code. Her powers allow her to speed up, slow down and reverse time temporarily, often showing people glimpses of their past/present/future until they see the error of their ways. She fancies herself the helpful ghost to many a ‘scrooge’ She may come off a little cold but she is genuinely trying to put more good into the world. She has a habit of collecting bits of broken china and sea glass.

Forming a contract with Caedo will make you duty bound to help her in her crusade. Caedo will stand by you as a loyal friend and protector. You will also gain minor time dilation powers, allowing very brief visions of the past and future.

Otverzát “A healing purge”: Not many see eye to eye with Otverzát at first, but sooner or later they all come around to her way of thinking. Otverzát loves to see people grow and heal, especially if they believe they are unable to. Otverzát‘s aspect is ‘truth’ meaning that no one can lie in her presences. Not just little white lies but the deep honest truths within our hearts. Her abilities let her see into the past and she can help people overcome long buried traumas.  Once she has gotten a person to open up she is a deeply loyal friend. She never lies and never has ulterior motives. She is caring soul who can get a little shy at times. She enjoys playing volleyball and tends to frighten easily. Her powers can be painful at first but she ultimately brings a deep peace and lasting healing to her friends.

Forming a contract with Otverzát will render you unable to lie, but no one can lie to you. You will also gain her ability to view the past or any object or person.

Environ, “A Comforting Silence”: Environ strives be level headed and moral, and their two heads often debate with one another before they preform any action. Having two opinions on every matter lets them make better decisions, even if that makes them a little slow to act. Environ is quiet and solitary, often choosing to observe humans at a distance. Their aspect is ‘navigation’ which means it is their duty to help lost souls find a home. Environ controls shadows and can appear and disappear at will. They often follow those who feel lost and using their power direct them to places where they will be accepted and loved. They have a soft spot for children and help abused children find healthier families. Environ likes being left alone, reading books and listening to calming music. They hate obnoxious people, especially youtube pranksters and instagram influencers. 

Forming a contract with Environ will grant you a sense of direction, you will instinctually know where you need to be at any given moment. You will also gain their powers of teleportation.

CONTRACT RULES:

Submit a reference drawing of your OC with a short description of their personality and backstory, select a demon you want a contract with.

In return you can get a sketch of your OC fused with their demon. Their new appearance will be based on how well they mesh with their new demon friend.

Patrons will get first priority! 

Have fun!

#monster lover #monster boyfriend #monster girlfriend #monster girl #monster guy #demon lover #OC demon contract #demon contract #OC sketch #art request #patreon #demons #original character #OC fusion #OC demon #Acari #Caedo #Environ #Faro #Faro the Flesh Merchant #Felsic #Limax #Otverzát #monster ocs #tetraphilia #monster design #demon design #Rey Rapids #Rapids Artwork #sfw

[dustylovelyrun]

Novel Prep Tag: Viva La Revenge of the Deceased

(The title is still a work in progress)

Tagged by @keen2meecha. Thank you so much, human!

First Look

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch).

Conchobhar Raelyn expected many things from life, most of them unusual, but one of the few things that she hadn’t, one that she considered out of the realm of possibility, impossible, and therefore never happening, was stumbling upon the ghost of her estranged, childhood friend, Thomas Dionisio, in the middle of her living room at five a.m. She also hadn’t expected that, in the face of his untimely death, she would be the number one person on his list of earth-bound mortals to help him enact his revenge, either, but here she was.

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Novella, single book, book series, etc.)

It’s going to be more than a single book. I’m not sure if it’ll be a duology or trilogy, but there’s probably not going to be more than three.

3. What’s your novel’s aesthetic?

Large forests filled with towering trees, and encampments hidden deep within. The scent of smoke in the air, and inexplicably cold winds. A city street filled with unmemorable people, a stream of faces that fade away and dissipate in the wind. Warmth, and exasperation, but also the feeling of feet dangling high above roiling seas, and the growing steel of determination.

4. What other stories inspired your novel?

I’m not sure, but. There’s one person on here. They have a burning man in one of their wips? I’ve forgotten who, but my brain might’ve run away with that, a bit. Someone burned up, charred and mangled, and trapped in a ghostly form. And there’s a few touches of BNHA characters in there, too. And a tumblr post about aromantics marrying for tax benefits and convenience. 

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for the novel

Main Characters

6. Who is your protagonist?

Conchobhar Raelyn is the main protagonist. Thomas Dionisio is the secondary one. He’s as important as she is, no doubt, but most of it’s told through her view.

7. Who is their closest ally?

Declan and Jezebel. Both of them are Conchobhar’s sort-of partners. It’s a little bit more complicated, and it’s honestly more platonic than anything, but. That’s where the post comes in, and what they call each other. There’s an agreement between all of them that it’d literally take Hell tearing apart the Earth before any of them refused to stand by the others. For better or worse.

Thomas doesn’t... really have anybody but Conchobhar, so. He’ll have to make do with them, too.

8. Who is their enemy?

Probably the people that killed Thomas! And then a bunch of others, as both of them delve deeper into the circumstances of his death, and his life before that, and learn a little bit more about why everything happened. And the people that want to stop them from knowing that.

9. What do they want more than anything?

Thomas wants revenge, at first. And then he simply wants it to all end. And then he wants to pull Conchobhar out of it, because that’s when stuff gets bad. Really bad.

Conchobhar wants to help him move on. Or at least feel a little bit of satisfaction that he couldn’t have when he was alive. And then she wants to raze a bunch of stuff to the ground, while simultaneously finding out if you can trap a ghost in a bottle.

10. Why can’t they have it?

Because the truth is always a lot more complicated than it initially seems, and they’ve barely scratched the surface. And for them to have their revenge, they need the truth. To know. Without it, it’s only wild guessing, and inevitably hurting someone that they didn’t intend to.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

Thomas believes that he’ll never be able to move on without any of it happening, (maybe, but turning into a poltergeist is always a thing, and it’s not like he won’t have superiority over them in hell, anyway) and Conchobhar believes that there isn’t much choice, because she owes him this much, at least, after inadvertently abandoning him to this fate.

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

So, fun fact. Two of them, actually. I can’t draw people, and I don’t use face claims. And I have prosopagnosia, so I don’t usually pay much attention to that, anyway? Not unless the characters become aliens, or a made up creature, or something. You’ll have to fly in as blind as I am, when it comes to how they look.

Plot Points

13. What is the internal conflict?

Conchobhar has absolutely no idea how to do any of this, and she’s floundering, out of her comfort zone, and lost. But she refuses to call for help from anyone that she knows, in fear that something might happen to them, too.

Thomas really doesn’t want to involve her in this, despite what it looks like, but she was literally the only living person he could latch onto. You need some sort of emotional attachment, and like hell will he do that with his tormentors. But he isn’t sure if he could spend the rest of eternity understanding what’s happened, and knowing that he could’ve retaliated, and then didn’t.

14. What is the external conflict?

To find the person that killed Thomas, they need to follow a trail. One that twists and bends, and curves in all the wrong places. That’s never in a straight forward line, and leaves behind more questions than answers. And the more they look at it, the more confused, the more wary, both of them feel, because it’s all quickly turning into something more than either of them can handle. Together or alone.

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

Thomas already kind of experienced it. He was torn apart, and then died in the flames that were meant to destroy his body. But another thing that could hit him hard is if something happened to his brother, wherever the heck he is, or if he causes Conchobhar to become seriously hurt. Or even dead.

Conchobhar would just. Loose it if something happened to the people that she loves. That’s the worst thing. But it could be made even worse if it was directly because of her, and what’s she’s doing now.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

“I’m sorry, they’re doing what?” For the overall series, but for this specific book, it would be “What the fuck did he do? What did you do?”

17. Do you know how it ends?

Sort of? I have some impressions that are guiding me towards it. One direction. And a possible ending. But I’m not actually sure what that ending is. Just - what it might become, if that makes sense.

18. What is the theme?

There’s some pretty significant themes of loyalty and retribution. Retribution of someone that had literally been discarded, forgotten, and buried in the past. A person that shouldn’t be a problem, but then is, and the people in their life that are determined to make sure there is retribution for what happened, even if it means bringing heaven and hell down onto their knees to do so.

19. What is a recurring symbol?

Probably what’s mentioned above, but if that doesn’t count, then I’m not sure. It’s only nineteen days old, and there’s a lot of stuff to be worked on.

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description)

There’s not one specific setting, the story’s kind of set all over the place. For the sake of their own safety, and to accomplish what they need to, Conchobhar and Thomas need to move around a lot. I’m also not really sure where they are, at this point. 

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

Oh, definitely! It’s mostly some impressions and pictures, right now. A few hints of emotion to shape it, and a vague understanding about the direction that some scenes need to go in.

22. What excited you about this story?

Thomas’ death! The circumstances leading to it, to be specific, and how those circumstances and the people involved will shape the story.

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

It’s pretty messy. Inspiration can come from anywhere, and it’s usually from the character interactions in bigger franchises, or because my brother’s said a thing, and it had me scrambling for the keyboard. I also need music. But not just any music. It has to be the right music. And none of it’s chronological.

~

Legitimately did not expect to be able to say as much as I did. Honestly, this wip is still a baby. I shouldn’t know what I’m doing with this. But, hey. Can’t deny that this was helpful. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do this, human!

Tagging: @feralsong, @rhiannonleewriting, @rehnwriter, @aelenko, @elemntum, @hellnar, @birdquils, @mariahwritesstuff, @sarahmariaria, @erinisawriter, @quillswithink, @ivonoris, @hazeywrites​, @coralblast​, @mayvinwrites​, @sxnrising​, @delphwrites​, @whorizcn​, @nmcwriting​, @typewrxter​, @rebelwritingwild​, @greenwood-writes​, @paracomas​

It’s a pretty big thing to ask, so don’t worry if you don’t want to / can’t do it. That’s fine, okay? I’d recommend keeping the list around for reference, though. It’s very helpful.

#writing #tag game #novel prep tag #wip: viva la revenge of the deceased #sorry about the coherency #I suspect that there isn't much #I did my best to fix it #but ultimately when my brain checks out there's not much that can be done #and I'm just super tired right now #but hey! #i still got it done #and I don't know if it makes sense #but I've got some more direction for it to go in! #so that's good! #probably #I think it's good anyway

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 E3: So Many Dragons in This One

Y’all so I’m like getting over a pretty nasty cold that’s pretty much wiped me clean like a hard reset and this episode coinciding with it is something else because this episode is essentially a fever dream start to finish.

First off:

If your mind didn’t immediately start playing ska-like alt rock and go through every lyric from “Escape From the City” then I can’t help you. Because that’s where my mind directly went and stayed for the entirety of this episode.

Back in the museum, Yugi learns about some more crypto-history.

Because Y’all, Yugioh just LOVES to screw with history. I mean we’ve already seen what they did to Seto Kaiba’s timeline, but get a load of what they’re about to do with world history.

(Arthur now has the USA gradient because I was at a loss of how else to describe Arthur. If Bandit Keith comes back then I’ll be mixing fonts, yet again.)

This was done mostly to recap the last 3 seasons, but also to drop in some brand new lore that came out of freakin nowhere.

Atlantis.

Yes, he said Atlantis.

(read more under the cut)

In the actual dialogue of the show, Tea mentions she read a single book about Atlantis once in her life, and then Joey and Tristan go “Tea, you nerd!” and it’s like wow the standards are low in this group. One single book, boys? That’s all it takes to be a nerd? When you have any of the KAIBAS right over there? One single book is the requirement?

Starting to think no one in this universe knows what a nerd is.

So the underwater cave dwelling from a few episodes back is none other than the Atlantis ruins. I feel like this should be a way bigger deal in terms of like all of history, since in this universe, Atlantis is time wise at the dawn of (checks wikipedia)...proto-writing...and yet they seem to really have their math and large construction science down.

The arch wasn’t really utilized (I hesitate to say “discovered” as it is an arch) until about 2000 BC or so. Good on the Atlanteans, I guess?

Don’t know why we’re getting so sidetracked by cards when a civilization 10000 years ago could make immense underwater 60 ft castles that don’t immediately collapse under the pressure, but this is the Yugioh universe and everyone’s card addiction runs strong and true.

It just seems funny to me that Hawkins, who devoted I want to say like 60 years of his life toward becoming a walking encyclopedia about Egypt, got super sidetracked and ended up 10000 leagues under the sea in Atlantis. He just threw all that Egypt work completely to the wind and basically changed his career at age I dunno 70 or so. Or maybe this guy is only 50 but he just seems super way old to me.

(And raising his granddaughter for some reason? Hell knows what happened to Rebecca’s parents, but knowing Yugioh, it will probably be really, really tragic.)

So then, although Atlantis is in our world and under the sea, Hawkins decides to throw another fast one on us.

(I just chose a random number, but Buzzfeed decided Washington was 34th. Which is wild.)

Bro took this moment to explain to me in great and excruciating detail that the Atlanteans in Aquaman did in fact invent tanks. Aquaman is his favorite. Ya, I know.

So I thought “ah, this is the Shadow Realm” (since we have seen Bakura just make a monster a real boy before) but then it became kind of unclear if the Shadow Realm is a different realm than this other realm which is just where the nice monsters live. So um...I’m still not sure about that one, I’ll get back to you when it’s made clear (I may never get back to you on that one)

Then Rebecca decides to drop this lore about the ghost that lives in Yugi Muto’s head that we’ve been *pretty Sure* up to this point was strictly Egyptian dealing with strictly Egyptian things.

I am not entirely sure how we’re going to take a guy who lived 5000 years ago and explain why he’s living now in AD 2002 Yugi Muto’s head because of some guy 10000 years ago. But they’re going to try.

Like I’ve heard this referred to as a filler season, because it uh did not happen in the Manga. So, legally, they can’t really touch the manga at all (and I assume they were probably waiting for the manga to finish at this point), and so we’re just gonna...pull Atlantis out of nowhere because the nice thing about Atlantis is that it is so freakin old that it is well outside of copyright. Completely fair use. But it’s still kinda wild.

Also, Yugi made sure to off-handedly tell us that most of the monsters who’ve invaded their world have been very, very, nice, and that’s why everyone has been so chill.

I mean. OK?

You still have literal dragons flying around but apparently only some of the dragons are mean and attack, the rest just chill and float around like a fish or something. Personally, I wouldn’t be thrilled by this.

Hawkins notices Yugi’s enchanted dead guy necklace, and without asking “so...does this belong to a dead guy? Did you get this from the dead guy’s corpse? Yugi? Yugi, look at me. Yugi, young man, is this another dead guy necklace you’ve been carrying around in your pocket because I feel like I see a problem here, buster.”

Hawkins suggests, instead:

Oh OK...that’s a lot to take in.

Didn’t expect giant possessed lady statues but it’s a nice spooky touch. Can’t have enough giant possessed lady statues in your anime, honestly.

Also, I’m really glad they gave this skinny lady statue a double chin.

And after all that, Hawkins decides he’s done with his one single afternoon in Japan, and he’s going to go and travel 16 hours back to the US stuck in a plane within hearing distance of Rebecca. Worth that 32 hour round trip for that one afternoon in Japan (or actually one way is 4 hours longer than the other way or something? I forget the details.)

And like the show had him blush and then Tea got mad, but like Yugi also blushed when Mai gave him a note once that said “thanks for the help!” so I feel like Yugi just shuts down completely whenever he has to deal with girls.

Maybe this is just the face Yugi makes when he quickly enters the pyramid zone and is like “Pharaoh, it’s getting mad weird out there!” And Pharaoh’s just sitting on his throne eating cheese whiz straight out of a can in star pj’s with matching bootspants and he’s like “My Gods, Yugi! If I’m here, and you’re here, who’s driving the plane!?” and then they just start shrugging at eachother about who has to go on the date this time until Yugi snaps out of it.

ah, a disembodied voice.

Literally thought it was my own voice.

It keeps Yugi up for a while, but when has Yugi ever fallen asleep right away on this show?

After Yugi calms down enough to go the hell to bed, we zoom back to our Xtreme sports boys who have finally decided to stop Tony Hawking all over this island long enough to deliver the sober news that Gurimo is freakin dead.

Which they barely brought up at all because who freakin cares about Gurimo? This guy sure didn’t.

Cool. Good plan.

Hard to rebuild civilization without people. Just throwing that out there.

But ya. Lets go end mankind on Episode 3. Thought it would take a little bit longer for him to get enough soul juice but apparently he’s good on the soul juice from these three juicy cards that have no souls (I thought).

3 God Cards + 1 Gurimo - 1 Rex - 1 Weevil = Destroy Humanity

First, a dream sequence.

This is one bizarre ass dream sequence and like...I don’t even know if I have much to say because it’s like...so out of left field and both out of the lore of this show and just barely inside the lore enough for it to work.

Still feels hella out of nowhere though.

That may be just the Dayquil talking.

Either way, we get to have Yugi run around in pjs again, but unfortunately they have no stars so I just don’t freakin care when see it. I get that stars are hard to animate and he’s a year older and maybe grew out of the star pj’s but c’mon. We had a good thing going, show.

But they hear a voice within the pyramid, and I’m using Tea’s font color here but it’s not Tea, it’s another girl who is...a lot like Tea honestly.

So up to this point we’ve accepted that the puzzle is all of Pharaoh’s mysteries and also mixed with the memories of Yugi as well. We have a room of short term memory (that pharaoh never uses) full of little clones of Yugi’s friends. We have a room full of all the lego pieces that Yugi lost over his young life (and 2 very cursed tamagachis.) We have a room that has a gigantic guardian Dark Magician who almost killed Shadi once. We also have several rooms that are just traps that can basically kill you, or if you are Shadi, just totally set you on fire, because screw Shadi.

Also it has this room:

But we find a new room that is like an entire fantasy realm and it’s like...so what memory is this?

Somewhat confusing if you’re me and you’ve assumed up to this point that everything in the puzzle has something to do with Pharaoh’s past. Apparently there’s just a door to another world in here they just never knew was here.

Just this entire time Yugi and Pharaoh were completely unaware that they had a DOOR TO ANOTHER WORLD in their necklace. Which, as I mentioned before, is where all the duel monsters live, but looks nothing like the Shadow Realm, which we’ve seen before.

And like honestly I kinda just figured at first that the giant eye was supposed to be there eating dragons, as if this was some sort of cycle of life for the duel monsters, to be a dragon, grow old, and then get devoured by the eyeball in the sky to start over again as nutrients to feed the baby dragons.

But in fact the eye is Not Normal and we should be alarmed by it.

Very hard to know what should and should not be normal when I’ve never seen this place before, also it has three crystal dragons that I guess the other monsters MUST be worshiping or something because check out the purple tile palace they made just for these crystal dragons.

Like this made me ask a LOT of questions about the civilization of duel monsters. Like who made this? Did a bunch of Kuriboh make this? Hell does this civilization works and is it a monarchy and are there castes?

Do they do taxes?

And then we meet her, the voice asking for our help, it’s this girl. Dark Magician girl. Nice to finally meet you. Wish it had a little more build up and made more sense.

We’ve talked to this chick before. She was digital at the time, but she kind of pretends that she already knows Pharaoh and Yugi and they kinda just...take this as it comes. I mean there wasn’t much time to deliver this dialogue so they were like, if the lady in the cornucopia hat says so, I guess we have to do the thing.

It is nice that we do finally get an explanation for why Pegasus could make all these cards but could not resurrect his dead wife--being that she is...not from this world.

But like now the puzzle not only dives into Pharaoh’s past but is also just a straight up a dimension portal. You can just...visit these people whenever? I guess?

I was getting used to the puzzle being a very large metaphor, and I wasn’t actually prepared for it to have a utilitarian use like a Stargate. This asks a lot of questions, but put those questions aside because we have to adopt this dragon by pulling a huge ass sword out of it’s right eyeball.

This show is SO mean to eyeballs.

She explains that there was some lore that lead to this sword being plunged into this buddy’s eye over here but I forgot it already. It was like half a sentence and then it was gone and I’m on Dayquil and I’m sure it’ll come back. At some point they’ll bring it all full circle, I’m sure.

Like if this happened in a dream then does this place even exist on a mortal plane at all? Can it only be accessed through dreams and being dead? It’s kind of a fascinating concept since these duel monsters have to be summoned through paper, which has all sorts of relevant meaning in a lot of Eastern mythologies.

Stuff I’ll never know because say goodbye to the Duel Monster Land that Apparently-Exists-Now-And-Absolutely-Always-Existed,-Stop-Thinking-About-Who-Invented-Tanks,-It-Was-Obviously-The-Atlanteans-10000-Years-Ago, we’re gonna go and take this huge ass dragon we have no business inheriting but are anyway because the dumbass ghost in our brain has this grand reputation that he banished some sort of evil 5000 years ago but has absolutely no memory of how the hell he did that or what even occurred, and because of his completely wiped bean, this makes him a complete idiot at best and a complete psychopath at his absolute worst.

But yeah, lets take this dragon and see what happens.

You gotta bring furniture, but the dragon is free. 2 bedrooms, no rugs, it’s free.

I just realized we got a dragon and not the sword. Only in this anime.

And then he wakes up to the last thing I expected.

It was nice of Yugi to take the time it took for him to get entirely dressed and ready, but I guess if the world has to end you gotta go out in style. Which for him means his school uniform because, although Yugi absolutely hates this school for some reason, he has a lot of pride for it. Just a crazy amount of school pride for how rarely he attends school and for the lengths he went to get out of soccer practice that one time. But will Yugi be caught dead in anything but his school colors? No.

HOW IS THIS CITY STILL STANDING.

Also Kaiba must be having a wild time on the top of Kaiba Tower but maybe he took a helicopter a while back to go on a world dragon tour because we didn’t hear a peep out of him this entire very Very VERY dragon-centric episode.

Really weird how many dragons there are with so few Kaibas. It’s like the moment they turned around, every dragon on Earth came out of hiding to throw a huge ass dragon party.

PS get a load of this dragon.

Why would you ever give a dragon an ass?

I don’t even know how this is possible because it doesn’t have a butt crack, but it’s got serious ass going on. It’s the Lizzo of dragons, when you set it to defense mode, it probs just twerks to intimidate the other side.

(Yugi’s friends are so freakin patient OMG)

Also how the hell can Yugi play this card on his duel disk if neither Kaiba or Pegasus have any idea this card exists? Magic, I guess? The duel disk is part magic?

Not like it matters much, we know from Bakura that you don’t need a duel disk to make real boy cards if you have a millennium item anyway.

So at this point I’m like...I think I watched the last episode of the season, I think it’s...out of order and bro was like “nope...it’s Episode 3. We’re still on Episode 3.”

And so after that it closed the...dimension joining portal, which was a Golden Compass style aurora borealis, then Dark Magician Girl returned to her home planet.

...Which is also dangling around Yugi’s neck.

This was a lot.

I have a lot of questions.

Everyone in domino SHOULD have a lot of questions but I think they all went back to bed.

A tornado with a GLOWING EYE tried to destroy their city, and they just rolled over and went back to bed.

This season sure takes off really quickly holy crap.

Now fair warning, because I’ve been hella sick the next recap is uhh...a huge mess so it will probably be a week or so before I post it/even get to it. At some point I started numbering them completely wrong and I either saved 10 caps to a different folder or I never made them in the first place and I honestly am not entirely sure. Last week is kind of a blur and it’s a mess on my desktop right now, so my pacing is gonna reflect that because I am...behind...on everything.

Oh dude and actually now that I look at what date it freakin is, I have to go to one of my best friends weddings real soon so can we just say...it might be a few weeks before I can steadily update again? I have to learn a whole dance routine for this giant wedding and y’all, I am not a dancer. And, while my friends have had dance classes since they were like 5, I’m like...low key extremely certain I will fall completely on my ass. Anyway, there is no way out of this situation I thought would never actually happen, and thought was just a funny idea they invented when they got drunk at the bachelorette, but nah, they remembered, and this is really happening but the bride will think it’s funny so here we go.

PS this dance is to the only existing mashup of Bollywood and N*syncs Bye Bye Bye (which, yes, it is a breakup song) I hope you feel the second hand embarrassment through your computer, I am dancing for 300+ people. Directly following the groom’s parent’s dance, which is 10 minutes long, and for which they hired a professional choreographer. We are the only dance out of four epically spectacular dances that is from the bride’s side, and our dance is...2 minutes and the equivalent of a high school lipsync.

TBH I'm low key excited to do it because potentially it could be a really great story depending on the reaction of what happens.

Anyway, so if I disappear for a while only to post fanart I’ve drawn out of stress, that is what I’ve been doing in the background. I’ve just been trying to remember how to do the Bye Bye Bye dance correctly for 2 straight weeks while feverishly trying to catch up with all my other work.

Also, because I mentioned George Washington, I had to go and find the horny grandma clip from Gilmore Girls and I’m so glad that two people on the internet managed to clip it, and I can’t believe the only two people who’ve clipped this did it with their phones. In fact, kudos to this youtuber for videoing a Tablet with his phone, because there’s no better way to watch a show from the 00′s than to make you feel really illegal about it.

#Yugioh #ygo #photo recap #episode recap #Yugi Muto #dragons #Joey Wheeler #Tea Gardner #Tristan Taylor #Arthur Hawkins #Rebecca Hawkins #Grandpa Muto #The Eye of Sauran or something #Again this episode is kind of a blur and I'm amazed I managed to cap anything this week #Oh yeah #The lost city of atlantis #s4 ep3

[phantomphangphucker]

In The Hands Of Teeth - The Reveal Is Upon Us

You stand in front of this particular Door of Revelations, “lexoendus”.You’ve been warned to go with caution, though you can’t see why; they played few games and never toyed with anything but people’s ocular sanity. Though the door qualifies as odd for sure. 

“Eh, I think it’s kinda stylish though not practical at all” patting your bag, checking that what you need is all there. Some food and drink, but most importantly your notes and The Knife of Revelations. 

“The handy work on this thing is still toothtastic” you compliment, eyeing the blade of sculpted teeth. Putting it back you then glance down to your notes on the Lexx virus, proper prep and all that jazz, You think with a teeth-baring chuckle. 

           :Lexonervosa: 

A highly contagious virus that attacks the central nervous system. After fully infecting a host the virus cells hideaway in the heart

           :Symptoms:

Riddle obsession

Visible mask hiding identity

Mild paranoia of being cured

Desire to torment d-o-t-s

Increase in shitposting

Narrow obsession with one unique thing that comes to define their existence henceforth

Sudden onset chaos

Forming symbolic bonds with other infected

Formation of a hidden Door of Revelations.

          :Treatment: 

Either unravel the riddles revealing their identity or eliminate the virus by finding and destroying the heart inside the Lexx’s form.

Running your tongue across your teeth you knock on the door, it creaks open and you’re are greeted by a HORRIFYING looking doorman. 

“hel-“, slamming the door shut but you reopen it because goddammit you have to do this. “-lo”, slamming the door again because fuck man you were not ready. Reopening the door slowly this time, but instead of speaking he simply raises an eyebrow; eyeing him and his harsh vertically stripped strawberry red suit cautiously you say “uh”. 

He takes that as freedom to speak while moving his limbs spastically he speaks with a mouth that’s alarmingly big and way too sharp. “It’s a pleasure to be meeting you sweetheart, quite a pleasure” he drags you in, both light pink hands on your right arm, his grip is quite strong borderlining on painful. The door giving a sudden and damning slam behind you “excuse my abrupt appearance but I saw your fiasco with the others and I just couldn’t resist!” Physically twirling you around to face him close enough that you could feel his breath if he had one, he’s hunched over so that he’s only slightly taller than you. “What a performance!” 

He Springs up to his full high suddenly, this guy must be at least 9 feet tall. “Why I haven’t been that entertained since the great political scandal of two one zero six!” He exclaims cranking his neck at painful and inhuman degrees wildly from side to side. The fact that he sounds out each number instead of saying them as a whole, is definitely all kinds of wrong; especially when he turns his head at a new angle after every number. He smiles wide “.....Soooo much tragedy” he mumbles. 

You feel sweat on your neck and are completely confused by this door and this man. Lexoendus while alarming seemed innocent enough! Why the heck is there a freakishly tall skinny man? 

Even his eyes are wrong, perpetually opened wide; you rarely see his eyelids. Either not noticing your mild distress or not caring, you can’t tell, this strange man continues “See I’m here because I want to help!” On that note he shoves you, with the head of his hooked crimson cane, down a hill which you hadn’t even noticed was there.

You stubble down into a land of teeth. 

Small teeth

                                                                 “Behold these approaching visitors” 🎵 

Big teeth

                                                                          “How I pity unwitting prisoners”🎵

Sharp teeth

                                                                              “Welcome to the dark world”🎵

Blunt teeth

                                                                                     “In front of you unfurled”🎵

Mountains of them

                                                                     “A beauty toying within your heart”🎵

Fields of flowers whose petals bite

                                                                 “Hearts to burn out as you fall apart“🎵 

Trees whose fang leaves would stab you if they fell

                                                              “How I wonder what for your searchin”🎵

Some stained with blood

                                                        “Come to see what keeps my world turnin”🎵

Some with dirt

                                                                      “In the dark only green eyes see”🎵 

And yet others bleached by exposure. 

                                               “There’s a game to be played that’ll see us free”🎵

Your toothy fall finally stills just as the doorman’s cane stabs into the ground next to your head. Standing you notice the thick barbed wire wrapping around his cane, that thing is a weapon for sure. He eyes you up and down, points his cane forward then taps your heels with the cane. 

“That’s the direction you seek sweetie” Getting the message you begin walking. You frequently have to step lightly over yet another snapping flower or dodge a falling tooth-leaf. I mean I adore twinkling shiny teeth and all but this is absurd. He walks a bit in front of you smiling all the while. You’re positive that he smiles wider every time something sharp comes a little to close to you for comfort. “What is all this and what is with that singing¿?¿” at this point, you have no clue what to expect. A sea of teeth would be pretty cool to see though you can’t help but think.

                                                       “Step outside with me, be a pawn no more”🎵

He gives a curled smile and twirls his cane.

                                                                “I’ve never had such fun, fun before”🎵

The occasional flash of eyes sky blue or radioactive green doesn’t make any of this seem more normal. “Why, it’s just what grows from Its presence” he is making a show of revealing as few teeth as possible while saying that. You are unsure if that’s comforting or deeply concerning. Especially since you don’t know why there even is a doorman. 

                                                                      “You’ve fallen so far, then farther”🎵

Shouldn’t there only be the main with a Lexx mask on or Lexx suit if that door symbolized anything. “See dearie, even sealed away It’s essence still drips” he points to the black ink-like substance dripping down the walls, or what you think might be walls, of this place. 

                                                              “Deep into the dark, darker yet darker”🎵

“It’s twisted nature, echoed in this place” he waves his hand out

                                          “Is it the time to set these disgusting chains on fire”🎵

“It? What “It”” you stare cautiously at his back noticing him smile wickedly and glance with one eye at you. Not stopping or slowing his pace.

“Decades ago It manifested seemingly overnight, It began to topple ghosts who had been-“

                                                                              “It seems like a lifetime ago”🎵

“-dominate since the beginning. -“

                                                                                  “Since I was free to glow”🎵 

“Such raw power hand never been seen before, many have speculated what unimaginable -“

                                                                                “Time for the fangs of gold”🎵

“- force enabled It to rival the zones most evil and destructive -“

                                                                                     “The story must be told”🎵

“- beings but one things for sure -“

                                                                                     “Domain built for a king”🎵

“-It is an unpredictable cause of destruction -“

                                                                               “Megalomaniac to extreme”🎵

“-a wicked source of mystery -“

                                                                                         “This corrupted mind”🎵

“-and a violent monster of chaos” 

                                                                                                “Is one of a kind”🎵

“The monster of ghosts long before” 

                                                                      “Full of corruption but that’s okay”🎵

“Creating paths of blood that followed It’s every word” slowing his pace and lifting up his cane as if it’s a staff he sweeps it around drawing your eyes over the land.  “Until, deep into this darkened forest, captured and imprisoned.” 

                                                                             “All restrictions will die away”🎵

“Uh, What kind of person is behind this Lexx!?” Your bewildered expression earns a hollow laugh. His expression one of loathing, of someone who’s put off revenge too long.

                                                                                “It’s not worth losing sleep”🎵

“Who are you¿?¿” You can no longer help but ask. Some weird doorman that shouldn’t exist who clearly has motives of some kind. His wicked grin returns with a vengeance “Why dearie me, how could I have forgotten something so utterly unimportant” he says that last word in a way that’s sickeningly sweet. But his scratching voice is all wrong for such a tone. 

                                                                                   “It’s not worth analyzing” 🎵

“I am -”

                                                                                          “I’m not the bad guy”🎵

“- Atlas” he finishes with something close to a bow. This is the closest you’ve gotten to getting him to stop moving. 

                                                                                     “I’m just a bit surprising”🎵

You eye him carefully, he has the name of a guide but he’s still weird. “Well, you seem like the kind of “atlas” that guides people to” looking around “toothy deaths” Entirely stopping he tilts his head painfully to the left at a perfect 90-degree angle. “Dear if I wanted to hurt anybody here, I would have done so already” with a too large grin. Again you’re unsure of whether you’re comforted or more concerned.

You two have been walking along for a while now, you’ve noticed that as you’ve walked the teeth have become more deformed, more damaged and more rotten. Honestly, they’re still pretty, though I prefer the more pearly ones. Not to mention there’s actually a smell accompanying it, you scrunch your nose up. Atlas suddenly hooks the back of your shirt with the curve of his cane and lifts you up to his eye level, ToothTacular Christ this man is tall! “Down where the monsters hide, normal is just a dream for all the ghosts like It” 

“Uh, ok¿” You respond to his out of left field statement still dangling from his cane.“You lost your mind lassie, can’t be doing that here” putting you down he continues on with a playful glare. “I’m pretty sure he did that just to be a toothy dick” You mutter. “If you notice the scents you’re thinking too much.” He states tapping you on the nose with his cane. 

Deciding that ignoring him is probably a bad idea, chuckling you state “I’m just here to purge this Lexx virus, eyeing the scenery might help me find It since you seem to be either taking me the long way around or are just a distraction” adding “though all the glistening teeth are rather pretty, like all the stars in space fell to earth.” Earning a genuine chuckle from the smiling doorman.“This whole Lexx thing, this simple virus, has been quite the thing! if I do say so” with an odd bow towards you “which I do” he finishes with a toothy smirk and a suspicious narrowing of his eyes. 

                                                                                “Which gave me a new gig“🎵

“Uh yeah, it’s made for lots of jokes, even new friends.” You smile fondly. Grinning wide, he replies “Oh, I’m certain it has sweet cheeks!”

“Caused for tons of people to show off those bones in their jaws that don’t have any flaws.” Eyeing his grinning teeth with a level of admiration, the man clearly cares about them “which you seem to be doing a lot yourself”. Chuckling “of course, I’ve got no reason not to.” 

                                                                                      “let me know if you dig”🎵

“Now why don’t we get to something juicy!” He straightens with a harsh jerk and a wider smile.”since you seem so eager to be all, one and done” he twirls his cane while also twirling his free hand. 

                                                                    “Ain’t going home so better go big”🎵

You had long since stopped paying attention to the odd ass song being sung or played, you didn’t know. Though maybe that hadn’t been such a wise choice.

Grinning wildly he continues on, both with his feet and his large mouth. “The Lexx you seek isn’t much father, but lassie you lack what you need. And I don’t care to be a bother to your time or my own.” 

“What do you mean? I’ll just go up and tell them to give up the ghost. Shits over, parties done -“

                                                                    “Everything I’ve done in this plight”🎵

“- pack up your mask and skedaddle” 

                                                                        “No regrets and the time is right”🎵

He laughs in both a humoured and mocking way “dearie no, follow my guidance, would you kindly; some things need to be brought satisfaction!” his eyes curl upwards which is definitely not a human expression.

“Um ew” rolling his eyes he steamrolls right over your comment as he walks to stand right in front of you. Bending down he strokes you lightly on the chin “all I need from you, sweetheart, is a little present” straightening up and twirling the hand that isn’t atop his cane “a sacrificial lamb if you will”.

                                                                                       “But with this Lexx jail”🎵

“You mean like herbs or a full-on person to murder?!” You state raising your eyebrow and crossing your arms playfully, unsure if he’s serious or if this is just some sort of weird “are you worthy” test. 

                                                         “you might get help from this devil of tale”🎵

“Death and destruction! But of course!” He exclaims cheerily, lofting his arms and shoulders up in what would be an exaggerated shrug if it wasn’t for his stiff back and cheery demeanour. “It is the brokenness that exists in every demented thought. -“

                              “Saw the fun, an opportunity, and along this creature bring”🎵

“Singing twisted melodies throughout all the lands.”

                                                       “With my fangs, incisors I can do anything”🎵

“Showing the images of the sick and disturbed” 

                                                          “Am I your friend? Perhaps, perhaps not”🎵

“How could It require anything’s else to be freed” he finishes with his face only inches from yours.

                                                                  “Mischief, mischief or chaos, chaos”🎵

Jarringly he pulls back while saying “just someone who’s a true sinner, truly vile, wretched! a traitor!” with a curt nod he adds “yes, that would certainly do splendidly”. Staring at him you wonder would someone with shitty teeth do it? who would fit such a bill? Who woul- you are stuck by a cursed memory. One so vile that thinking of it in a positive manner would certainly be cause for genuine concern, hell it might make your teeth fall out. Looking to this strange pink skinned red-suited man, you reply with a wide toothy grin of your own “oh I know just the sinner”

                                                                              “Now you know the just of it”🎵

His returning grin is so wickedly large you fear his face may become lost in it. Though honestly, that would be an improvement. “Puuuuuurfect” again in that sickly sweet voice. “Simply get him here, preferably with the utmost haste” 

                                                                                         “found the perfect fit.”🎵

Shooing you with both his hands, cane under his left armpit, does he even need that thing? “Now hurry along sweetheart, can’t have you dilly-dallying!” you turn to face him but instead find yourself smack dab in front of a door. “Where the-“ you get cut off as something pushes you right through the door. That felt suspiciously like a cane handle. Facing the now closed door one doorman simply smiles and cranks his head to and fro. 

                                                                                              “Finished training”🎵

Upon returning to the door with a man in tow, which only happened because he knew about the Lexxpocalypse and like almost everything else the phandom did, he hated it. The door is still weird but this time you expect the creepy ass doorman, Atlas. Chuckling you say “go on open the door, opening a door is a pretty easy solution for this whole mess” I hope he scares you so bad you never talk again, you idiotic bastard. You don’t even deserve your own teeth. The man oddly just does it, muttering all the while “no one mocks my show with some stupid headcanons and this meme shit” As soon as the door opens he is yanked inside but as you rush to follow him in you find neither him nor Atlas. “Well, this is just toothtastic” you chuckle dryly.

                                                                                                “done explaining”🎵

Chuckling atop a hill with the limp body of one Bitch Fuckman this smiling doorman says with a grin “this time the sweet little thing can find her way to me, let her experience this places plentiful charms” Atlas simply walks off to where he had been when you had left this place.

Stumbling along you realize it’s a lot harder to not notice the song when you’re alone “that man though strange, is a stellar distraction”.

                                                                           “Nothing will be left remaining”🎵

It’s a lot harder to ignore the constant snapping of teeth, 

                                                                         “A cold and maddening decent”🎵

The occasional thunk of a tooth-leaf piercing the ground

                                                                                “Nothing thing can prevent”🎵

And the song which you’re starting to think is a warning, plus this place is smelling quite strongly. Eventually, you find yourself giggling “Christ what is wrong with this place? It’s like an acid trip at a really obsessive dentists office” Quickly you school your thoughts, remembering Atlas’s earlier warning and deciding that it was definitely right; giggling isn’t something you normally do. No matter how many pretty teeth there are here, I do have some ability to feel shame after all. 

Finally, you spot the man of the hour, the doorman, Atlas. “Uh, are you carrying a limp or dead Bitch? Not that I’m complaining though” You ask as you approach cautiously.“Oh worry not dear, he’s simply sleeping!”

“Well, that’s a nice way of saying you whacked him” you mutter through crosses arms. “Oh come now, I’d hardly call giving him a gentle push “whacking”” with a shrug he adds “even if that push was down a few too many feet with a very sharp landing!” chuckles escaping his wide grin. With every step Bitch’s legs bounce limply and at some point, he lost a shoe. But remembering Livin’ Large you’re pretty sure you aren’t expected to care. Though you still elect to give Atlas a wider birth for the rest of this “trip” you don’t want it to turn into an actual trip.....down some toothy rocks. Though death by teeth sounds like a right good way to go.

Eventually, you stumble across a dilapidated throne of contorted teeth, occasionally blurring and glitching.“Well that seems grandiose and excessive, but it is mawvellous” you shake your head though Atlas simply eyes you with his ever-present smile. “On top the tipsy tower sits the tyrant, deliver It a devilsknife, see It smilin’.” Is all the commentary he supplies.“The only smiler I’ve seen here is you Mr. Doorman” 

                                                   “When this game is over, my waiting stopped”🎵

Then you notice the figure sitting stiff on the throne, it’s Lexx mask standing out starkly. You also notice that this Lexx’s mask does have one hell of a weird ass smile. “Seriously? The psychotic murder Yugio face?” You’re not sure whether to be judging or amused, at least they went with a nice set of chompers.  INSERT FACE 

Shrugging Atlas merely says “it seemed most fitting my dear” Shaking your head, you take the Knife of Revelations out from your bag. 

                                                             “All hope of ending me will be dropped”🎵

“I still don’t get why the sacrifice is needed” jabbing a thumb in the general direction of Bitch’s body, which has been unceremoniously left on the ground in a heap.“since this knife business should be all that’s needed” you fail to catch the wide and malicious smile Atlas gives. 

                                         “Did you enjoy this game we played with your heart”🎵

Stepping up you plunge the knife through the heart of worming teeth, causing the facade to fade. As it does so, revealing the creature beneath and you understand why things were this way. 

                                                           “But with this, the Lexx game falls apart”🎵

“Sweet fanged Christ” stumbling back, if there was a door to slam you would because this glitchy antlered thing almost hurt to look at. Turning to Atlas you say. “Uh buddy? -“ 

                                                                                                        “Evil One?” 🎵

“- Where the ever loving fuck is the main blog, I don’t know of any blog tied to this” You gesture wildly at the stretching glowing thing that’s now lounging like a cat across Its throne, four green eyes slitted in contentment “thing”

                                                                                                       “Risen one?”🎵

“Oh honey, this Lexx thing was all for It,-“

                                                                               “No I just want to have fun.”🎵

“- to bring It out-“

                                                        “But this new world of old can’t be tamed” 🎵

“The main blog has little involvement here”“That doesn’t make a tooth lickin’ inch of sense ya freaky man” you groan slightly high pitched. “What or who even is that, a ghostsona I assume but -“Chuckling he cuts you off “a ghostsona indeed little dearie, as for the who well..”

                                                                             “Now time to be truly named”🎵

Chuckling atop Its throne It walks down the glitching steps, glitching Itself in time with it; it’s clawed feet reverberating clicking sounds across the ground and all its joints making a strange static sound at every movement. 

“I’m an apex predator, TheSilver Born” spoken through a mouth full of sharp teeth and thick fangs. Grinning, Atlas knows well enough to step back. You, however, know no such thing. 

“I, this thing, am Alistar” It says it’s mouth unhinging twice with a voice best described as honey that’s been poisoned. “and I well, I was outcasted, sealed, only cause this thing” gesturing with one hand outlandishly to Itself, clawed fingers brushing up against its opened sleeveless black trench coat “couldn’t be brought to zero” It steps closer to you standing straight with an outreaching hand only a foot away from touching you. It’s white mist like hair waving in the air, easily twice it’s body length. At this point, you realize you don’t actually have the ability to back off. 

“Now here you stand, a proud little hero” came Its mocking sneer, sliding it’s horrifyingly long pointed black tongue out only to crack it like a whip in the air. Well this is some fangbangin’ bullshit, standing your ground “generally things that are sealed up are for a reason”

Chuckling and cracking Its tongue again, It responds “Oh I promise I am innocent of any Wicked crime”. With that Atlas steps up behind you, lightly kicking the unconscious Bitch Fuckman as he does, and begins stroking your hair. Dude, bro, buddy, pal, you are getting freakier and freakier by the second. I’m all for mawvellously creepy but not this kind of creepy. You elect not to say that out loud though. 

“Others feared what it could do! This creature! By terrified eyes locked away.” He suddenly lifts a pointer finger up in front of your face. “So cleverly, I waited till Its name became long forgotten.” Chuckling he continues while you eye him with mild horror “Waited till the knowledge of Its murderous wake all dried up”. Listening all the while Alistar grins, Its long pointed ears twitching, at the mention of Its past actions; which definitely were wicked. “Till no one suspected It had ever been” 

Ok. Ya. You’re the evil, or at least malicious, kind of creepy. Not my style. Opting to attempt for more information you ask him “what do you mean? That doesn’t make a-“

Cutting you off he supplies “Alistar’s been gracing these lands for a long time dearie. I felt that this “Lexxpocalyspe” was fit for ripping down Its bars” laughing lightly he continued “So the world bear witness to Its personal brand of fun!”

Chuckling Alistar adds “Now See My chaos collapse this fragile house of cards” It spreads it’s arms wide head back with its unihorn aglow, gesturing wildly as the environments teeth crack and pop, exploding and leaking, dripping shiny black.

                                                                      “Free to create fountains of dark”🎵

                                                                      “Reawakening this twisted heart”🎵

Laughing It spins and hugs itself. Tipping Its body over to Bitch Fuckman It cups his face in Its long clawed hands but turns Its head to face you.

“Remember you signed on to this toothy game” 

“So if someone winds up dead well then I’m not the one to blame” It borderline purrs showing a wide toothy grin. As the environments teeth all burst to black you notice that thick tendrils of black ink cling to, no bind, this creature and you come to understand. “The teeth looked way better decorations wise” sighing there’s no way this is good “the sacrifice had nothing to do with the Lexx virus, did it?.” 

                                                          “By the time that you’ve played your part”🎵

“That my dear -“

                                                          “A blackness will awaken with this heart” 🎵

“ - is obvious” Grinning wide showing every pointed tooth Atlas traces his middle finger up the middle of your throat drawing your chin to tilt back. Once again this is the wrong kind of creepy, dude. Still smiling he looks down at you “Oh yes my sweet this is not any sort of end, but rather a great new beginning!”. 

Alistar smiles, body glitching between white and black wildly “a little horror-story just begun and our shows so far from over”. Chuckling Atlas wraps his long limbs around you from behind and rests his head atop of yours, just as Bitch Fuckman wakes. Well bite me and call me completely screwed. Is all the commentary your brain supplies. 

Alistar kneeling over Bitch, legs at odd angles showing off Its second backwards knees, the sight rips from him a blood-curdling scream. “Oh come now, don’t make a fuss!” Atlas laughs “We’re only playing” Alistar practically sneers into Bitch’s face. “Playing is fun! This is hardly what I’d call fun! What the hell are you! Where the hell is this!” Bitch rapidly speaks. Words cascading out like a terrified waterfall.“Oh, when you’re with us the party never ends!” Atlas says as he hooks Bitch’s ankle with his cane, yanking it so to complete dislocate the leg. Bitch dissolved into pathetic crying and screaming. “Y-you’re insane! T-this i-is insane!” 

“I’m pretty sure they both lost it long ago” you mutter. “Oh don't be a downer sweet cheeks! Let It enjoy Its new plaything!” He gives your chin a somewhat painful pressured stroke.

Then Alistar, bellowing loud “I, in the name of chaos” Flings him across the floor with one hand as It stands. Unfortunately for him, Atlas’s grip on his cane is formidable causing the previously dislocated leg to be ripped clean off.  “To you, the creator who betrayed us, even flaunted it on tape.” 

Thousands of miniature screens spin around glitching and play varying clips from Phantom Planet. You can’t help the mental knee jerk reaction of fuck Phantom Planet, it’s not canon. All the while Bitch lays crumpled with blood leaking from his stump leg. 

“We’ve written your fate and it can not be erased” Alistar and Atlas say together. 

Atlas - “Shamed” 

Alistar - “Disgraced”

Atlas - “Scathed”

Alistar - “Defaced “

“I’ll never write another damn cartoon again, I quit!” Bitch Fuckman screams but it’s no use. You’re reminded of that face, one of unsatisfied vengeance, Atlas wore earlier. He knew exactly who I’d pick when he asked for a sacrifice. You realize, feeling played but also impressed. He’s a mawvellous bastard even if he’s definitely not good or nice. Though I guess I’m not one to talk on that. 

                                                                   “Kicking, screaming, sinking slowly”🎵

Alistar, grabbing his face, places both Its legs atop his belly.

                                                              “Give your soul, it’s what you owe me”🎵

“Why are you doing this!” He bellows “those were the best episodes!” It doesn’t dignify him with a genuine answer instead only supplying “No rhyme or reason just a smile that’s only growing wider!” As Atlas laugh heartedly. Clearly, he’s enjoying the show. 

Alistar’s fangs sink into Bitch’s throat, causing strange energy to flow out of his form into It causing the black tendril chaining It to spasm and slide off pooling into an inky mess. Jeez, at least I’m joking when I threaten to eat people. Standing up every movement flicks black ink off Its form, rubbing Its face it smiles and comes over to run claws through your hair, leaving behind some of the inky mess. 

Cringing you manage to get out “so, uh, could I fucking go now.” Squirming quite aggressively against Atlas’s grip, but to no avail “You got to show your fangy crap to an unwitting prisoner so...” Right at the end of those words someone with skin pale white, eyes of the brightest blue and lips darkest night, steps up behind the creature named Alistar, it’s thetribalmoth. 

With a soft, though unkind smile she says “apologies young thing but that can’t happen” she’s the main you realize, as she strokes Alistar lightly across the chin and up the jaw with the back of her pointer finger. Oddly she gets none of the black mess on her. “You’re not really here, are you” you glare as you notice that she also happens to be a bit translucent. “Of course not, but I had to make some sort of appearance” smiling “I couldn’t just let my creations play without making my presence known” Glaring you retort “I’m not something of your “creation”” you would air quote if you could move. Laughing Atlas produces a pocket mirror and clicks it open right in front of you.

                                                                  “For maybe there is hope you’ll see”🎵

Looking back at you is the face of Lexoendus. “WHAT. THE. FUCK” 

                                                     “Your shackles don’t need any broken keys”🎵

Laughing thetribalmoth says “Oh please what did you expect, nothing I didn���t create could ever find this place alone” 

                                                                         “With you I was finally set free” 🎵

Atlas indulges you “you were needed, something to allow Alistar access to the outside. A Lexx was quite a perfect scheme.”

                                                           “I’ve been given this perfect opportunity”🎵

“So I brought the virus here”

                                                                                              “Take it with pride“🎵

“And I weaved your fabric” finished thetribalmoth.

                                                                                           “And enjoy the ride“ 🎵

“And how fortunate that you fit just right.” Alistar adds. “You fanged fucks knew this whole show would have to come to an end” swallowing harshly, baring as much of your teeth as Atlas’s grip would allow “that there would be a cure to purge the virus in time” you finish. The only answer you got was a grin from Alistar. 

                                                             “I’ll forever be a part of this community”🎵

“You took on a bit of a life of your own dearie,” Atlas says, sickly sweet. “But I didn’t stab my own heart you toothytits. I stabbed the one in that thing!” You struggle slightly more in your confusion. “Ahh, sooo many teeth puns” thetribalmoth sighs happily as she sits resting her head on a hand. “It’s nice to have something in common, I’m glad we can relate” you glare at her, which she seems to take pleasure in. 

Walking up Alistar takes the Knife of Revelations from you, chuckling “Twas but an illusion of a tricksters game” The doorman’s smile is verging on giddy at the complement to his handy work as Alistar then leans in pushing the knife into your chest. “Can you feel it? join me in the darkness, join me and I can finish what you started” It purrs. Well, this bites. There’s not anything you can really do with Atlas wrapped around you from behind, he’s stronger than he looks, and Alistar is pushed right up against your chest. 

You sputter through the black seeping over you and dribbling out your mouth. Jerking and glaring upwards you speak refusing to sound weak “Why would you? It seems like your goal is just to damn the world, but why?” Continuing on “why all this?”

“Honey, sweet thing, I’d say that doesn’t really matter. ‘Tis simply what I do.” While thetribalmoth mutters “Amusing is it not, how far he’ll go to keep this world from being left alone”

“So you create just to destroy? How many others have you ended to get what you want!” You accuse, completely ignoring thetribalmoth. Who honestly, seems pretty used to just yelling into a toothy void with no one paying attention. “Dearie, to win some you lose a few hundred” grinning “it wasn’t that bad anyway” twirling his cane free hand as you collapse to the ground, inside your toothy heart squirming wildly, body flickering, and slowly being merged into Alistar. Atlas, chuckling “at least you were good for something! It’s vision through your eyes has given It new life!” 

“That’s real comforting” you wheeze out.

Then Alistar’s face, which was previously only inches from yours, whips over to face Bitch’s corpse as It slinks over. Long black veining connecting the two of you. Giving Bitch’s corpse a pat down “does this thing have any liquor?”

“I’ve just been functionally used as an entertainment teeth puppet to free a literal devil” you glare as harshly as one can while dying “Could you at least try to be serious” though I guess if the roles were reversed I wouldn’t be taking shit seriously either. “Oh don’t get your dolly eyes in twist sweetheart” Atlas says with a playful eye roll, as he bends down above you.

“Was that you trying to be sexist or Lexxist?”

“Whatever pisses you off more” he adds “besides it’s not like you were built to last” he dismisses you with a single twirl of his cane as he turns to face the erratic scene Alistar is making. His face is one of pure affection mixed with giddiness. That kind of affection screams adoration at that realization you continue your train of thought huh, he must serve her somehow. No wonder he’s here. “Is there seriously no liquor on him?” Groaning as It flops down and lounges outstretched across the corpse, smearing Itself with blood in the process.

“how does this fucker live with himself without a constant stream of knock-off mini bottles?” Is the last thing you hear before the static consumes you, as thetribalmoth erases your name. Your last thought is simply well at least I died absurdly and toothtastically.

Atlas sits down, legs crossed with his cane across both hips. As Alistar, standing with Its chest against his back, lounges It’s arms over his shoulders rubbing a cheek against the left side of his head. 

Singing softly,

                                                    “These toothy parts freed my encaged heart”🎵

                                                     “Bringing lexoendus to an end, ripped apart”🎵

                                                                        “This, their last show to put on”🎵

                                                                           “But after tonight they’re gone”🎵

                                                                               “I’ve made them disappear”🎵

                                                                                “Now I’m the monster here”🎵

                                                                     “A ghost reborn from their ashes” 🎵

Hundreds of voices cry, they thought you’d free them from this trial but you have only brought their pyre

@yourfaveissecretlyalexxblog

#lexoendus #thetribalmoth #gothmoth #reveal #lexx reveal #lex reveal #lexxpocalypse #atlas #ghostsona #alistar

[deanhadley]

Ghost Fragment: Lord Shaxx

“I beat you fair,” Cayde said. “Don’t ever—“

He raised his hand high to wag a finger under Shaxx’s nose.

“—try to outrace my Golden Guns.”

Two children ran by in a blur, laughing.

Shaxx shook his head slowly. “It was a tactical error. Won’t happen again.”

“Next time doesn’t matter. You lost today, and today you owe me.”

The Titan stared down at the Hunter, but said nothing, his hands clenched in fists. Cayde ignored the posturing and turned to face a desolate field of dirt and large rocks. A writhing mob of children spread across it, clusters of them barreling into each other as they bellowed and screamed. A much smaller number of elders waded in the chaotic sea of miniature people.

“What is this? What’s happening?” Shaxx demanded.

“This City has children. Children who must stay within designated safe zones.” The two Guardians watched as a boy climbed the largest rock on the field, about four feet in the air, and howled at the sky. “Of course they’re gonna go a little stir-crazy. Parents bring them out to this—you’d think it would have a name—this field every month, and they have at it. Better they hit each other than climb the walls.”

Shaxx stared at them.

“So. You’re going to pick two,” Cayde said.

Shaxx looked down at him. “Pick two what?”

“Two of the little brats. You’ll pick a team of two, and you’re going to train them in this... sport they play here. It’s some kind of tournament. You know all about those.”

Shaxx surveyed the field.

“This is ridiculous,” he concluded.

“That’s not the last time you’re going to say that today, but you’ve made your bed. Get comfy.”

“I can pay you Glimmer. Two Crucible matches’ worth. Why waste my time on children?”

A child sped past and waved at Cayde as Shaxx spoke. Cayde responded with an upward thumb.

“I like bugging you. Plus, you’d be surprised what goes on out here that only these little miscreants know about.”

Beneath the helmet, Shaxx stared holes into the Exo’s face.

“They run very fast. Listen, I know you’re going to be you, but try to keep them intact. I make sure a Guardian they know comes to visit them once in a while. You weren’t the kids’ first choice, or even their tenth, but you were the only one I could get leverage on this week.”

Shaxx stood motionless, but his fury engulfed the air like a flame. Cayde turned to leave, his cloak billowing in the wind behind him. “I’m going to make so many Crucible bets while you’re gone.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Shaxx began, but Cayde was already lost in a departing crowd of adults.

Shaxx let out a breath, then scanned the field again, past child after squirming child. He quickly discerned the two on the field with the best athletic potential. Two human girls, snarling as they swung branches at each other, seemingly impervious to pain. He walked past them, through the crowd, and several elders paused just briefly enough in their youth wrangling to let their jaws hang. Lord Shaxx navigated the unruly sea with grace, and headed toward a lone tree in a corner of the field. An Awoken girl and a human boy sat huddled below it.

As Shaxx’s shadow eclipsed them, they looked up at him with the same brightness in their eyes. “What are your names?” he demanded. “Runa,” said the Awoken with some disdain. She returned the blank stare of Shaxx’s faceplate. “My name is Lonwabo,” recited the human, more like a question than a statement.

“You look bored, Runa,” Shaxx observed. “And you look worried, Lonwabo.” He pointed at the boy, who scooted back, startled.

“As far as I’m concerned that makes both of you more intelligent than all these other dregs,” said the Titan. “You’re with me. I need the rules of engagement.” Shaxx stared at them, and they stared back. “Someone talk to me.”

They both spoke at once, and Shaxx listened in silence as they talked over each other to explain the game: Teams of two launch orb projectiles at each other, and players struck are eliminated. If both players on a team are eliminated, the team is out of the tournament, and their chance to play on the field is over.

“What do you call this drill? Skirmish? Supremacy?” Shaxx demanded.

“Dodge ball,” said Runa.

“We’ll work on the name. Follow my instructions, and I will lead you to victory.”

Shaxx waved one of the adults over.

“Lord—Lord Shaxx?” said the Exo male.

“Shaxx is fine.” Only Guardians owed him respect. “Find my team a match. Sooner the better.”

Shaxx brought Lonwabo and Runa to the field, and kneeled. His hands engulfed their shoulders like a pair of descending moons. “My friends. Should you be killed, others lesser than you will take your place. Don’t fight for yourself. Fight for those poor fools.”

Lonwabo opened his mouth as if to speak, but hiccupped instead.

Shaxx turned them both around to face the sun and the other team across the field. He kneeled so low that his face was level with theirs. The three stared at the opposition: two human boys, eyes glaring, fists balled in determination. Their elder stood behind them, her eyes wide as she recognized Lord Shaxx.

Runa yawned and rubbed her face, trying to clear the sleep from it.

Shaxx whispered to his new charges. “Crush them.”

#destiny #grimoire cards #lord shaxx #this is the best Shaxx fanfic I've read #except yanno #it's canon

[gamerdamemedia]

Rise of the Banshee: Request

Despite the cold and lingering uncertainty, Syn slept better than she ever remembered.  In the past, she normally just... passed out.  No real conscious effort needed.  But lying under a pile of pelt blankets, with a fire slowly crackling down and the sounds of the sea gently crashing along the hull of the ship, making the wood groan, Syn had her first taste of true peace.  Not the empty quiet she used to feel in her mind, but gentle satisfaction.  It was nice.  So when morning dawned, and she'd broke her fast with some dried salted meat the bandits had stored, she decided to travel north along the shore.  Part of her mind told her to remain in the area where her Master could find her, but that urge was slowly dissipating as surely as the last day's headache.  Still, having had very little interaction with people outside her Master and the necromancers, who typically viewed her as little more than a living statue, the thought of visiting one of the local villages caused a well of anxiety to build in her gut.

A thought occurred to Syn as she trailing north along the coast-- that in itself a slowly increasing occurrence.  Could she speak?  Syn wracked her brain to recall if she'd ever spoken before, but she couldn't remember ever having done so.  She knew she was at least capable of making noise.  She wasn't mute, she didn't think.  She had been known to produce involuntary vocalizations in the past, like when a necromancer's raised dog jumped on her stomach.  But her Master seemed to prefer her silence.  Tools didn't speak.  Even their first meeting, when Syn had crawled from beneath a pile of corpses, had consisted of her Master asking questions and Syn merely staring back.  Speaking wasn't necessary.  Syn knew how to read and could follow instructions competently.  That had been all that mattered.

But normal people spoke to each other.  Even Syn knew that.  And most people got uncomfortable with Syn's staring.  Syn shrugged to herself, another new but not unpleasant occurrence.  For now, she'd avoid people and stick to the wilderness.  Syn was eager to continue honing her skills.  What all was she capable of?

Speaking wasn't much of an issue as she meandered up the coastline.  Wolves weren't exactly interested in conversation.  Though Syn did wonder why there were so many black wolves along the icecaps.  Weren't snowy predators normally white?  At least they made for good target practice.

Reaching the northernmost edge of Skyrim, Syn spied a large castle nestled atop a cliff.  The angular stone structure sat atop a glacier, as if resting in the palm of some ice giant's hand.  A stone bridge connected the main structure to a small but similarly styled one on the mainland.  The bridge had to be the sketchiest thing Syn had ever seen, as it lacked any supports.  Just a stone slab suspended in midair between two points.  It honestly looked like the slightest shift in the earth would send it crumbling.

Syn might not have much working knowledge of the outside world, but she knew what this place was.  The College of Winterhold.  The seat of the mages in Skyrim.  Syn knew this because her Master had expressly told her (and the rest of the expedition) to avoid the College at all costs.  After all, it was the Mage's College that made necromancy illegal.  Whether it was actually out of a belief that experimenting on the dead was immoral, or just to garner a better reputation among the masses, most mages wouldn't hesitate to eliminate any necromancer on sight.  Granted, Syn wasn't technically a necromancer.  As if her Master would allow her to learn such skills.  But it would likely be guilt by association.  She supposed technically she would've been considered a thrall, fine details of no one actually summoning her notwithstanding.

She may be alone now, but Syn didn't feel like risking running into one of the College Mages right now.  Maybe they'd sense she was... whatever she was.  So for now, she ignored it and continued north.

There wasn't much farther north from there.  Just some iceflows dotting the Sea of Ghosts.  Further away, though likely too close for the mages' liking, sat Olenveld.  Strange... she'd thought she might see the island from here.  No islands, but she did come across something worse: an ice roc.  Not rock, r-o-c-k, though she did initially mistake it for such when she first walked upon it.  No, roc, as in a giant bird monster that spews out freezing winds.  The thing had been napping (or lying in wait) atop an iceflow, but snapped into the sky as soon as Syn neared it.  Her furs were no match for the biting arctic wind it blew at her, and nor could she fight the beast as it hovered just out of reach of her sword, as if taunting her.  Compared to the alternative, the frigid waters felt like a sauna as Syn dived beneath the ice to escape the roc's relentless pursuit.  Frost crackled along the waterline above, obscuring her view as she swam as quickly as she could, ducking up for air only.

Sadly, the roc was unrelenting.  No matter how far Syn swam, the monster would not call off its chase.  And as undaunted by the cold as Syn usually was, it was beginning to make her limbs stiffen.  Soon she'd be too physically frozen to stay afloat.  Luckily, hope was just on the horizon, as Syn spotted an opening in between some glaciers ahead.  A cave!  Blessedly too small for the massive roc to fit through.  Scrambling up the icy embankment, Syn made a mad dash for the cave, the chilling breath of death literally on her heels.  Syn heard the beast's wings beat against the glaciers as she ducked inside, followed by a cry of anger that she'd escaped.

She didn't notice right away, but the cave was far bigger than she'd expected.  Once she felt assured of her safety within the ice walls, Syn realized that the cave lead down further.  A light shone from within, though not due to the sunlight refracting through the crystalline walls.  And was that mumbling?  Curious, and with nothing but time to kill until the roc hopefully lost interest and sought easier prey, Syn followed the path down.

Syn had heard that the folks living in Skyrim were hardy, but she didn't expect them to have carved living quarters from the very ice.  Actually, based on the odd metallic contraption wedged in one side of the wall, Syn guessed it was more accurate to say the cavern had existed for a while, and the current inhabitant had merely made himself at home.  Very at home.  How exactly did one get a bookshelf inside an icy cavern on the edge of the world, out in the sea?  The sight of another man made Syn feel a little anxious, and not just because he looked like a mage.  Or at least a scholar.  He wore simple robes, the dark color contrasting with his white beard.

At first, Syn stood awkwardly halfway down the slope leading into the heart of the cavern, but the man paid her no mind.  He didn't even acknowledge her, instead standing before the metal contraption, mumbling to himself.  The contraption made Syn feel ill at ease.  It was obviously old, judging by the tarnished bronze metal.  Though it was probably even older that it appeared, as the ice likely protected it from most of Skyrim's harsh elements.  Turquoise spheres protruded from the front, like the eyes of some great insect.  When she cautiously approached, the man began to speak, presumably at her.  Then again, it quickly became apparent to Syn that the man was half-mad.  He spoke cryptically, yet poetically, in the manner of all men driven mad by some knowledge.  His ramblings, for all their vagueness, were quite lucid and easy to follow -- even if the leaps of logic were not.

He introduced himself as Septimus Signus, a scholar of some repute, and he was there to study the dwarven artifact, the strange door.  Through his ramblings, Syn gathered that he believed the Heart of Lorkhan had been sealed inside.  As the man blathered on, Syn wracked her brain.  Lorkhan was the god who tricked the other deities into creating Nirn, the planet they lived on.  As punishment, they stole his heart, but unable to destroy the heart of a god, they sealed it away somewhere.  The dwarves, apparently, were obsessed with obtaining godhood through use of the Heart.  Syn could definitively state that many believed the dwarves tampering with the heart was what resulted in their unexplained disappearance.  Short of going back in time, no one could say.  Though the belief explained why Septimus might think it was here... somewhat.

Coming back to the present, Syn realized she'd zoned out for a minute while the man continued his story.  But he either didn't notice or was accustomed to people staring blankly at him, because he gave not a single pause.  His lack of need for her input to continue this one-sided conversation was both familiar and a little annoying.  It wasn't until he mentioned needing an Elder Scroll to open the box that Syn's attention settled fully on his ramblings.  That was a title that needed little thought to remember.  Elder Scrolls were the rarest, most coveted, and most mysterious artifacts known to man and mer.  These relics existed outside of creation, and even the gods couldn't tamper with the events hidden within.  They showed the future, or the past, or multiples of both.  Finally, Septimus faced Syn fully.  "But perhaps you can go where Septimus cannot."

Septimus blathered on about how he thought a Scroll existed in Skyrim, and that this one in particular revealed the secret to opening the chamber to the Heart.  Why the Scroll would have such information, Syn couldn't guess.  Though if the dwarves had been storing it, and the Heart, it made some sense.  The madman's eyes suddenly clearly focused on Syn for the first time since this strange conversation began.  "You will find it for Septimus."

Syn could only stare back, surprised not only by her apparent trustworthiness but viability to retrieve such an important artifact from a dangerous ruin.  Perhaps solitude had made him long for companionship.  Or perhaps it was because Syn hadn't outrighted attacked him.  Either way, the next thing Syn knew, Septimus was shoving two metallic objects at her.  The first, a heavy metal sphere.  Septimus called it an Attunement Sphere, and said she'd need it to activate the machine housing the Elder Scroll.  The dwarves had imagined themselves as gods of logic, but Syn recognized the weighty ball as just a glorified key.  The second, much more interesting object, Septimus called a Lexicon.  A metallic box, a little bigger than a handful, of dark metal with indecipherable markings.  It looked like it was made of panels that could open.  A box?  According to Septimus, the Lexicons had been used to store information for the dwarves.  Rather than bringing the Scroll to him, Septimus wanted Syn to transcribe the information within the Scroll into the Lexicon so he could safely read it.  Reading an Elder Scroll had some nasty side effects, including blindness and madness.  Syn gazed knowingly at the old man, his madness and interest in the dwarves suddenly making more sense.  He wanted to read Scrolls, and the dwarves had apparently found a way to do it safely.

Syn could've refused.  She was hardly equipped to take on a ruin, likely filled with all manner of traps and automatons.  She'd overheard more than a few stories from necromancers of losing expedition teams in such ruins.  The dwarves may be gone, but their defenses certainly were not.  And yet, perhaps because she could refuse, Syn found herself rasping out, "Where...?"  The sound of her own voice startled her, barely a croak.  Was that what she sounded like?  It matched the growing voice in her head, just as rough from disuse.  She wasn't even entirely sure it was coherent enough to be understood.  But it must have been, because the next thing she knew, Septimus was handing her a map of the country.  It was old, but probably accurate enough.  Places like Skyrim didn't change much.  Syn was familiar enough with their expedition to give a rough estimate of their current location northeast of Winterhold.  Septimus helpfully marked the location of the ruin in question, Alftand.  It wasn't terribly far away, maybe a day or so journey southwest toward the center of the country.  And without another word, Septimus ushered her off.

Still unsure if she should even attempt to assist this madman, Syn decided to head back to her camp to think things over.

And for the record, the roc had not lost interest.

#writing #Skyrim #fiction #rp

[dannyphantomrpg]

Visual Aid: 10 Years Later, Part 3

Hey, Hart fans! Ok, in Danny Phantom 10 Years Later, Part 1, we did the three main characters: Danny, Sam and Tucker. Danny Phantom 10 Years Later, Part 2, we did Jack, Maddie, Jazz, and Dani Fenton, the girl Danny Phantom. Now, Danny Phantom 10 Years Later, Part 3. It's time - you wanted it - here we go, into the Ghost Zone. Check it out.

Ok, everyone's been asking for this, you wanted to see this ghost ten years later, so I can't let you down. Here we go, it's The Box Ghost!

Box Ghost: Ha ha! I am The Box Ghost! You can not hold me within the confines of a cylindrical container!

Right, with Box Ghost, I'm just gonna draw him normal here. The Box Ghost is one of my favorite ghosts we've ever done on Danny Phantom. We had to open up the show with Danny chasing a ghost before we got to the main story, and I was like, Danny chases a ghost into a warehouse and so I was like, ok, what can we call this ghost? How 'bout we call him The Box Ghost, and he haunts boxes? And it became such a huge fan sensation, that we had to keep doing The Box Ghost over and over again. So, creating this guy was really a lot of fun. I figured - and again, we don't do dead guys or girls on Danny phantom. These are not the ghosts of dead people - he's just a box ghost. He's a ghost that likes boxes and dresses like the workers down on the docks. So, he's a ghost who likes to dress like the workers of the places that he hangs out. So that's who The Box Ghost is, and he's dressed like, you know, a dock worker. So this is The Box Ghost - this is his normal version.

Ok, now, let's take The Box Ghost and age him up a little bit. This is, um... You know, I figure with The Box Ghost, we gotta make him look more serious too - I think this is a more serious take on Danny Phantom as we move forward ten years later. So I'm just gonna, you know, make him look even more like a dock worker - just an aged guy who's been down by the salt water a lot more. He's been working really hard, he's got a beard now, there's some gray in his beard. His, um, outfit's a lot more realistic. We're gonna add more wrinkles. I'm - I'mma try, tryin' to do a little bit more of an actual comic book style for the Danny Phantom 10 Years Later series. We're gonna try to make it a little bit more serious looking. So this is The Box Ghost, you know, with some boxes hovering around him, as if he were ten years older.

Ok, so for another version of The Box Ghost, just for the heck of it, I had to do The Box Ghost as if he were, you know, I guess, taking his persona super literally, and, you know, making himself out of actual boxes. *laughs* So he was a - this I thought would be a lot of fun doing The Box Ghost as if he were an actual box ghost made of boxes, you know, squares and, um, in rectangles and stuff like that. 'Cause I think, would be kinda cool about this, I think his body could transform. We were gonna redo this show, The Bo- The Box Ghost would be able to transform his body and, and make it very cube like and just maybe able to expand it like a Transformer so he could turn into, like, you know, a tall box ghost or a small box ghost or just kind of shape his body like a robot. So this is The Box Ghost, made from actual boxes.

And here is another version of The Box Ghost. I thought this would be kind of cool, kind of a haunting picture where - because The Box Ghost is kind of a comedic ghost, he's very funny, and, um, you know, he's got kind of a silly, dopey personality. But I wanted to draw a version where he was really, you know, a lot more serious. As if he was coming out of the water. He's been in the water for years and years and now he has seaweed draped over his head and he, you know, is kind of coming out of a kelp bed and putting his hand toward you like he's going to put you in one of his boxes. What is, what it is in the boxes? And there's always boxes hovering around him with stuff. It'd be kind of a cool weapon he could have. He could always have boxes hovering around him, but there's stuff in the boxes. Like, what's in there? There could be weapons in the box, like old, ancient, you know, like, nautical weapons, like hooks and anchors and chains and things. One could have weird sea creatures in it. I think that'd be a very cool power for The Box Ghost is to have these boxes just loaded with crazy stuff. So this is The Box Ghost coming out of the -haunted- waters.

All right, now, the final version of The Box Ghost, what would he look like? I mean, I, I just thought, let's just keep him as serious as possible. Let's keep him as, uh... you know, I guess, I won't use the word "deadly" but just as, as, as menacing as possible. Like, this guy, this guy is serious ten years later. He's lost one hand, he's got a hook for a hand. He's uh, coming out of the water. He's covered in seaweed, you know. He's, he's sort of more menacing. There's probably a comedic side to him but I think the key word here is he's gotten a lot more serious about what boxes are all about. *laugh* And I think this would be a very cool version of The Box Ghost, ten years later.

Ok, done with The Box Ghost for now, you might see him again some time. We're going to move on to another one of your all-time favorite ghosts, I get endless requests about this ghost, and there's some amazing cosplay of this ghost out there - you should check it out, out there in the world, all the Comic Cons and stuff. This is your favorite ghost, you remember her name: Ember.

Ok, let's do the normal version of Ember first, let's draw a normal, regular version of Ember. And the great thing about Ember, we really wanted to have a music ghost in the show because Danny's a teenager, all of his friends are teenagers, teenagers love music, hence the music ghost, Ember. Had to have that. So, drawing Ember was a blast, and designing her was great. Putting the makeup on her face, making her outfit really cool, giving her a killer guitar, and this is really just the basic version of Ember that everybody loves. When we did Ember as a music ghost, we had to give her a killer song. I, I with my, my story editor at the time, we, uh, wrote this great, great song "Ember: You Will Remember My Name" and, um, we sat there, wrote it and didn't think it would really be that big of a deal. It was a song to go into the show, and the response to that song is so awesome, and I'm so thrilled you guys like it. I really wish Nickelodeon would release that song on some kind of an album or something, they never have. I don't know what their deal with with the *laugh* Danny Phantom, you think they'd take more advantage of it, but, uh, they don't. And they own the rights to it, but you guys think I should get the rights back, let me know in the comments section below. I think I should give that a shot, I bet they would want quite a pretty penny for Danny Phantom, but anyway, uh, Ember's a blast, and here she is in her normal version.

All right, so, I'm um, gonna age up Ember ten years, and I think, maybe the rock star life has taken its toll on Ember. I think, uh, all the touring, all the bad food, all the excess that a rock star goes through. I think Ember probably let herself go a little bit. It's just one version, calm down, might not be the final version. But, uh, I think Ember's kind of let herself go a little bit. She's still out there rocking, but as you get older it's harder for you to, you know, metabolize your food, you don't burn off things as well, you don't stay as thin as you used to. It's really, believe me - to look this amazing like I look - Ha ha ha! - um, it takes a lot of work *laugh* so, I think Ember has been hitting the guitar a lot but maybe not hitting the gym as much. And this design of Ember is very reflective of how we made her look in The Ultimate Enemy episode of Danny Phantom, where Danny goes into the ghost into the future and meet future Ember. So this is basically that same design, a little bit tweaked differently. But this is one possible Ember from ten years later.

Ok, here's another version that I really like. And when I'm sitting here, trying to come up with ideas for ghosts, how do you age up ghosts ten years later? Because they're ghosts. They don't really have to age. You don't have to age them up at all, but for this video, we're aging them up, of course. So I'm thinking, what could Ember have done to herself to make her look older. Well, what's, what happens to Ember? I think you would probably get very bored, uh, if you live forever as a ghost. So I think, in this version, she probably has learned how to play more instruments than the guitar. Like, she probably learned how to play all kinds of stuff, you know, the drums, a little percussion, and I think, maybe she needs more arms *laugh* so I thought I'd make her the ultimate one-woman band. She, uh, is basically playing the guitar, the tram, uh, the tambourine, the drums. Uh, if I had room in this drawing, she'd be playing the piano, probably playing the base, but I think Ember with a ton of arms. And just being able to be the band all by herself would be awesome and maybe I'll put another head on her - who knows? Here's another version of Ember, ten years later.

Ok, and one other cool version of Ember I really wanted to do, um, again as you're sitting here thinking, like, "How do you age up these characters? What can you make them do? What is different about them? Why would anybody want to see them ten years later?" And I thought, you know what? Ember has played so much music in her existence, she's played so many tunes, she written so many melodies, I think that doing that in the Ghost Zone, I think somehow in the Ghost Zone, your body sort of becomes what you are? And I figure she's music and I think in this version she just becomes music - she is music. And so, instead of using instruments, she can now just make music with her movement. She just moves and makes music. She, her hair can whip though the air and make a sound. She can move her arms and make sounds. I think just, her whole body instead of having a ghost tail turns into, like, uh, a music chart, and just follows her along in the Ghost Zone. You know, just hear sounds when she comes, you hear like music when she comes. Some of it could be deadly, some of it could be, you know, melodic, kind of hypnotic - hypnotize you into doing whatever he wants you to do. That's an extremely cool power to have. And I would love to see this version of Ember, ten years later. What do you think?

And, just for the heck of it, here is another version of Ember, but, and that I drew. Just aging her up, um, you know, the Danny Phantom characters have a very, uh, uh, distinct look. Either they have a real curve in their face or real sharp angles. I gave her a more comic book, realistic face in this version. I just wanted to see what she would look like as a real woman and uh, aging her up and kind of trying to make her look a little bit like the voice actress who played her, Tara Strong. And sort of giving her some of Tara's features, and so this is a version of Ember, just looking kind of human, very comic book-y. I think I could see this as a painting or this even looks like a cosplayer that I saw online. So here's Ember, another version, ten years later.

All right, so Ember. What do you do with Ember ten years later? What's the final version you can come up with? I think, what's really cool about this version, is I went a little more punk rock with her. I just, you know, shaved the sides of her head. I had her shave a Danny Phantom logo into the side of her head, you know Maybe, maybe it's even a tattoo. Just, I think she's obsessed with Danny Phantom. I think she's, you know, turned her guitar into a Danny Phantom logo as well, and just keeps rocking out, and just trying to either mess with Danny's - I think she might be secretly in love with him, but won't admit it. And *laugh* uh, uh, you know, just, Ember's got to remain dangerous. She's gotta remain edgy, and I think this version of Ember is super cool. And this is Ember, ten years later.

One of my other favorite ghosts from Danny Phantom's world, is the ghost hunter himself: Skulker. And Skulker is just a blast. Uh, just what he does - uh, hunting other ghosts to collect them is great. Cause it always makes him a nemesis, not just to humans, but to other ghosts as well. And I love his design, I love everything about him, and I'm just gonna draw his normal version here, the version that we all have seen over the years. But I just love this version of Skulker because he's just great. And, um, you know though, and I really dig the flaming hair, uh, the flaming beard just, the uh, the plasma that just streams out of his body and catches fire just because, you know. And then it's, it's his hunter's mane, as his hunter's, as you know, his hunters look. I love the fact that he, he kind of looks like and animal and a human and a ghost and I, I just dig Skulker a lot. So this is Skulker's normal version, let's see what he looks like ten years later.

Ok, now we're going to do Skulker ten years later, and the challenge is, again, he's a ghost, how do you age him up? But I think, for the purposes of this video, we have to age them up. So I'm just gonna, uh, do Skulker. Cause he strikes me - kind of his type of character - he strikes me as kind of a biker. Like, you know, he's uh, he's, I-I think this dude would totally ride a motorcycle. I think he even did in one episode, I can't remember. I think he might have ridden a motorcycle, but if not, we're gonna make him ride a motorcycle. So I think to start off, we'll just draw him very haggard from all the years of hunting. I think the years of hunting have taken a toll on him. I think his hair is shorter. I think his outfit gets a little more trim and slim. I think his body has become more, just like more ruff and more hewn, just really like, like more muscular, and I think he looks more human-like. We're gonna make him look more comic book-like for the Ten Years Later version, and so I just think just giving him some more ruff looking clothes, putting this cool chain in his hand. I think this looks really cool. Giving his face more of a skull-type of a look, um, is one definite way to go. So here's one version of Skulker ten years later.

Ok, now I'm just drawing with a Sharpie here, and this all kind of just coming out of my head as I go. I'm not really doing any rough sketches here, which if kind of a challenge for any artist. I encourage you to do that yourself. But, um, drawing Skulker from the top of my head, having never drawn this design before, I really thought, let's put him on a motorcycle. I really think it'd be cool to put him on a motorcycle because we're gonna stick with that biker theme. And, uh, I just sort of drawing him here, just making, again, like an old biker dude, you know, that got - still got the flaming hair, the flaming beard - but I think, man, he has just stripped it down and, uh, a lot of the bulky armor's gone. A lot of the chains are gone. I think he's just out there on this bike, I think this bike would have a ton of powers. I think it's powered by the same green plasma flame that powers him internally, and I think, um, just like Ghost Rider from the Marvel comics, I think the - I think Skulker would make a very cool compatriot or compadre for Ghost Rider. I think we're just gonna keep that Ghost Rider theme going with Skulker, and make him look as Ghost Rider as possible. So here's another version of Skulker, ten years later. And, again, I'm just drawing with a Sharpie, so this isn't as perfect as I want it to be. But, uh, hopefully, you guys can give me a break on this one.

Ok, and then just going for it here, taking the, um, again drawing with a Sharpie, just, this is just coming out of me head, no rough sketch at all. Another version of Skulker Ten Years Later is keeping him as skeletal as possible, losing a lot of his musculature and just taking it down to the bare skeleton underneath. Make him look a lot more fierce, a lot more evil, just a lot more enraged and just keeping it to that, you know, that enraged ghost-y biker sort of, uh, angry, much more serious version of Skulker. Here's another version ten years later.

All right now, Skulker. Again, I just see this dude as a biker. I see him as a Ghost Rider type of guy, who has just gotten more beat up as the years have gone by. Like he's lost an eye, his eye's sewn shut. Uh, I kind of think about hooks this time around. He's got, like, this hook for a weapon or whatever sharp thing he can find that will just, uh, stick into things. I think he grabbed a ghost by the hook. Hooks him, and drags him around the Ghost Zone with his bike. And I think his beard has grown out, and he's just looking tougher and meaner, and you don't want to mess with this version of Skulker ten years later.

Ok. Dark. Danny. Everybody loves Dark Danny. I love Dark Danny since we did the episode, The Ultimate Enemy, back in 2005, voiced by the great Eric Roberts. Uh, it's, uh, one possible future version of Danny Phantom, who's turned evil. So here's Dark Danny. I'm just gonna draw Dark Danny everybody, the way everybody remembers him. Um, just, uh, basically Danny Phantom if he had turned evil in the future. I love his design, I love his hair - the flaming hair, the ponytail, the, the Batman cape *laugh* the, uh, the D in the front. Just to me, it's a very killer character design, and just really reflective of how cool the show was eventually becoming, Danny Phantom. And, uh, I know it, Danny - Dark Danny gets a huge response in any Comic Con I go to, there's a lot of cosplay I see. And this is Dark Danny in his normal version. Now, let's see what he looks like ten years later.

Ok, the ultimate challenge for the ultimate enemy. What does Dark Danny look like ten years later? Like I said, he's a ghost, Ember's a ghost, they're all ghosts! They don't have to age if they don't want to! But, like I said, we have to age them up for this video. So I think, again, Dark Danny becomes even darker. He becomes an even darker version of himself. I think he's, because he's been trapped in the Fenton Thermos for years, for at least ten years. Let's just assume that, because he was trapped in the, the Fenton Thermos at the end of The Ultimate Enemy, so I think he's finally gotten out of the Fenton Thermos, but anyone being in that type of a confined space for that long will probably go kind of crazy, so I think Dark Danny has really kind of gone off the deep end and become the ultimate dark ghost. And so here's just one version of, uh, Dark Danny ten years later. Just becoming completely the embodiment of all that is dark in the Danny Phantom universe. I mean he almost looks like a shadow of his former self. So I think is is, like, maybe a -shadow- of Dark Danny and maybe, maybe he can split into many shadows, multiple shadows. Just like Johnny 13's Shadow character that follows him around. I think this Dark Danny has that shadow power times, you know, 200. So, this is a very formidable foe that Danny Phantom ten years later will have to deal with, at some point.

And here's a very cool version of Dark Danny that I really was excited to do. Once I started doing it, it got me really excited. I thought I had just seen the Infinity War trailer, *laugh* and I thought Thanos would make a great design for Dark Danny, so I kind of combined a little bit of Dark Danny with a little bit of Thanos. And, um, thought that would be great, just real bulky, real big, just the big chin, the angry eyes. Uh, Dark Danny has pupils, but this Dark Danny does not. He's got the white eyes which make them look even more deadly like Batman, or Deadpool! Maybe, maybe Batman. So, anyway, um, just mixing Thanos with Dark Danny was a lot of fun. I think it makes it look a lot more scary and I think Danny Phantom ten years later would have his hands full with this version of Dark Danny, ten years later.

And one more fun version of Dark Danny, because he's been trapped in the Fenton Thermos for so long, I think instead of breaking out of the Fenton Thermos, I think, in order to get out of the Fenton Thermos, he merged with the Fenton Thermos, and sort of merged his body into his ghost plasma form and then into a Fenton Thermos mechanical form. So I think this version of Dark Danny is kind of Cyborg from Justice League where he's part machine, part ghost, part electronic, part, you know, plasma. Almost like a Technus version of Dark Danny. This is Dark Danny, merged with the Fenton Thermos, electronic plasma power to the max.

Now, Dark Danny, there's a lot of options here, like I said earlier, and I'm just gonna go way dark with him. I think by this time, he's been trapped in the Fenton Thermos for ten years, he just went a little insane. I think he lost his pupils in his eyes. *laugh* You know the white eyes always make someone look a little more, uh, menacing, or you know, just, uh, dark. I think he's uh, gone all black with the theme in his costume. The white gloves, the white face, sort of like the Joker, almost. And this dude has gone full on evil. He is an evil being, and I think Danny Phantom ten years later will have his hands full with Dark Danny ten years later.

All right guys, Danny Phantom, Ten Years Later, Part Three. Did you guys enjoy that?

#reference #Danny Phantom #10 years later #Butch Hartman #visual aide #box ghost #ember mclain #ember #skulker #Dan Phantom #dark danny #dark danny phantom #i feel personally attacked #i just made a box element #and then he goes and shoves the box ghost in the water #and of course he's going to use boxes to attack #what else would he do? #that ember tho #her music body would make a sweet attack #and butch does remember skulker is a little blobby ghost right? #now he looks like a sad old man on a rascal #and biker =/= hunter! #don't even get me started #here's dan - he's crazy now #even tho he was a mass murderer before?????

[scp-60053]

The new Shaxx Ghost Fragments are my favorite. Ghost Fragments I & II

“I beat you fair,” Cayde said. “Don’t ever—“

He raised his hand high to wag a finger under Shaxx’s nose.

“—try to outrace my Golden Guns.”

Two children ran by in a blur, laughing.

Shaxx shook his head slowly. “It was a tactical error. Won’t happen again.” “Next time doesn’t matter. You lost today, and today you owe me.” The Titan stared down at the Hunter, but said nothing, his hands clenched in fists. Cayde ignored the posturing and turned to face a desolate field of dirt and large rocks. A writhing mob of children spread across it, clusters of them barreling into each other as they bellowed and screamed. A much smaller number of elders waded in the chaotic sea of miniature people. “What is this? What’s happening?” Shaxx demanded. “This City has children. Children who must stay within designated safe zones.” The two Guardians watched as a boy climbed the largest rock on the field, about four feet in the air, and howled at the sky. “Of course they’re gonna go a little stir-crazy. Parents bring them out to this—you’d think it would have a name—this field every month, and they have at it. Better they hit each other than climb the walls.” Shaxx stared at them. “So. You’re going to pick two,” Cayde said. Shaxx looked down at him. “Pick two what?” “Two of the little brats. You’ll pick a team of two, and you’re going to train them in this... sport they play here. It’s some kind of tournament. You know all about those.” Shaxx surveyed the field. “This is ridiculous,” he concluded. “That’s not the last time you’re going to say that today, but you’ve made your bed. Get comfy.” “I can pay you Glimmer. Two Crucible matches’ worth. Why waste my time on children?” A child sped past and waved at Cayde as Shaxx spoke. Cayde responded with an upward thumb. “I like bugging you. Plus, you’d be surprised what goes on out here that only these little miscreants know about.” Beneath the helmet, Shaxx stared holes into the Exo’s face. “They run very fast. Listen, I know you’re going to be you, but try to keep them intact. I make sure a Guardian they know comes to visit them once in a while. You weren’t the kids’ first choice, or even their tenth, but you were the only one I could get leverage on this week.” Shaxx stood motionless, but his fury engulfed the air like a flame. Cayde turned to leave, his cloak billowing in the wind behind him. “I’m going to make so many Crucible bets while you’re gone.” “You wouldn’t dare,” Shaxx began, but Cayde was already lost in a departing crowd of adults. Shaxx let out a breath, then scanned the field again, past child after squirming child. He quickly discerned the two on the field with the best athletic potential. Two human girls, snarling as they swung branches at each other, seemingly impervious to pain. He walked past them, through the crowd, and several elders paused just briefly enough in their youth wrangling to let their jaws hang. Lord Shaxx navigated the unruly sea with grace, and headed toward a lone tree in a corner of the field. An Awoken girl and a human boy sat huddled below it. As Shaxx’s shadow eclipsed them, they looked up at him with the same brightness in their eyes. “What are your names?” he demanded. “Runa,” said the Awoken with some disdain. She returned the blank stare of Shaxx’s faceplate. “My name is Lonwabo,” recited the human, more like a question than a statement. “You look bored, Runa,” Shaxx observed. “And you look worried, Lonwabo.” He pointed at the boy, who scooted back, startled. “As far as I’m concerned that makes both of you more intelligent than all these other dregs,” said the Titan. “You’re with me. I need the rules of engagement.” Shaxx stared at them, and they stared back. “Someone talk to me.” They both spoke at once, and Shaxx listened in silence as they talked over each other to explain the game: Teams of two launch orb projectiles at each other, and players struck are eliminated. If both players on a team are eliminated, the team is out of the tournament, and their chance to play on the field is over. “What do you call this drill? Skirmish? Supremacy?” Shaxx demanded. “Dodge ball,” said Runa. “We’ll work on the name. Follow my instructions, and I will lead you to victory.” Shaxx waved one of the adults over. “Lord—Lord Shaxx?” said the Exo male. “Shaxx is fine.” Only Guardians owed him respect. “Find my team a match. Sooner the better.” Shaxx brought Lonwabo and Runa to the field, and kneeled. His hands engulfed their shoulders like a pair of descending moons. “My friends. Should you be killed, others lesser than you will take your place. Don’t fight for yourself. Fight for those poor fools.” Lonwabo opened his mouth as if to speak, but hiccupped instead. Shaxx turned them both around to face the sun and the other team across the field. He kneeled so low that his face was level with theirs. The three stared at the opposition: two human boys, eyes glaring, fists balled in determination. Their elder stood behind them, her eyes wide as she recognized Lord Shaxx. Runa yawned and rubbed her face, trying to clear the sleep from it. Shaxx whispered to his new charges. “Crush them.”

Fragment II 

The morning turned to noon as the sky darkened with dodgeballs and filled with the battle cries of children. When it was over, Lonwabo had tears in his eyes, but he tried his best to stand straight. Runa had a bloody knee, and stared wordlessly at the winning team: the two snarling girls from earlier in the morning. The girls lifted an unrefined mass of plasteel, a makeshift trophy, over their heads, and they roared. Shaxx stared up at the Traveler. It sat, buoyed by a mantle of clouds against a blue sky. It didn’t seem to notice him. “Tell me what you’ve learned,” Shaxx said to Runa and Lonwabo, his faceplate fixed skyward. They did, and spoke for a continuous three minutes. Shaxx nodded, slowly. “So you’re not mad?” asked Lonwabo. His face brightened. “You’ve gained more from this than the victors,” he replied. The three of them looked on as the two girls smashed the plasteel cluster into the dirt, and to the horror of all the other children, it shattered. Runa's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, a dodgeball gripped in her hands. Shaxx continued: “Victory is key to survival. You need it. Need to fight for it. But it teaches nothing.” “Does that mean, in a way, we won?” asked Lonwabo. “No,” Shaxx looked down at him. “No, you were annihilated.” “Oh,” said Lonwabo. Runa continued to stare at the shattered trophy, and the winning team. She slowly turned the dodgeball in her hand. “Let this loss drive you,” Shaxx said to both of them. “But the game is over. Your focus should be on what’s to come.” Lonwabo stared down at his hands. “I think...I think I'm going to read a book,” he said, surprising himself as he uttered the words. “We all make our own choices,” said Shaxx. Runa said nothing as Cayde strode up out of a shadow in the afternoon sun. “Everything good?” the Hunter asked Shaxx. “Do I look like I care?” “Come on, buddy. The bet’s fulfilled. You don’t have to pout. Just remember not to challenge a Hunter with Golden Guns.” “I can and I will. Rematch. End of day.” “You’re on. I hope you’re ready to babysit ‘til the next Dawning—“ Runa’s ball struck Cayde in the neck: a stealth attack taught to her earlier in the morning. He yelped, more surprised than hurt. “Who did that? Who did that, and how?” the Hunter demanded loudly, as the ball bounced away. The ball didn’t respond. Runa, Lonwabo, and several other children smiled. “Shaxx. What have you been telling them?” Shaxx stared silently down at the Exo Hunter until Cayde blinked. “I, uh, found my Sparrow,” Cayde said, to deflect. “I can give us a lift back to the Tower.” As the other children and their elders dispersed, Runa watched Cayde’s Sparrow as it carried the two Guardians off towards the gleaming Tower in the distance. She gave a Titan’s salute as they disappeared from view.

#destiny #lord shaxx #destiny grimoire #cayde six #bungie's destiny #bungies #bungie #i love them

[thedarkdestiny]

Ghost Fragment- Lord Shaxx

“I beat you fair,” Cayde said. “Don’t ever—“ He raised his hand high to wag a finger under Shaxx’s nose. “—try to outrace my Golden Guns.” Two children ran by in a blur, laughing. Shaxx shook his head slowly. “It was a tactical error. Won’t happen again.” “Next time doesn’t matter. You lost today, and today you owe me.” The Titan stared down at the Hunter, but said nothing, his hands clenched in fists. Cayde ignored the posturing and turned to face a desolate field of dirt and large rocks. A writhing mob of children spread across it, clusters of them barreling into each other as they bellowed and screamed. A much smaller number of elders waded in the chaotic sea of miniature people. “What is this? What’s happening?” Shaxx demanded. “This City has children. Children who must stay within designated safe zones.” The two Guardians watched as a boy climbed the largest rock on the field, about four feet in the air, and howled at the sky. “Of course they’re gonna go a little stir-crazy. Parents bring them out to this—you’d think it would have a name—this field every month, and they have at it. Better they hit each other than climb the walls.” Shaxx stared at them. “So. You’re going to pick two,” Cayde said. Shaxx looked down at him. “Pick two what?” “Two of the little brats. You’ll pick a team of two, and you’re going to train them in this... sport they play here. It’s some kind of tournament. You know all about those.” Shaxx surveyed the field. “This is ridiculous,” he concluded. “That’s not the last time you’re going to say that today, but you’ve made your bed. Get comfy.” “I can pay you Glimmer. Two Crucible matches’ worth. Why waste my time on children?” A child sped past and waved at Cayde as Shaxx spoke. Cayde responded with an upward thumb. “I like bugging you. Plus, you’d be surprised what goes on out here that only these little miscreants know about.” Beneath the helmet, Shaxx stared holes into the Exo’s face. “They run very fast. Listen, I know you’re going to be you, but try to keep them intact. I make sure a Guardian they know comes to visit them once in a while. You weren’t the kids’ first choice, or even their tenth, but you were the only one I could get leverage on this week.” Shaxx stood motionless, but his fury engulfed the air like a flame. Cayde turned to leave, his cloak billowing in the wind behind him. “I’m going to make so many Crucible bets while you’re gone.” “You wouldn’t dare,” Shaxx began, but Cayde was already lost in a departing crowd of adults. Shaxx let out a breath, then scanned the field again, past child after squirming child. He quickly discerned the two on the field with the best athletic potential. Two human girls, snarling as they swung branches at each other, seemingly impervious to pain. He walked past them, through the crowd, and several elders paused just briefly enough in their youth wrangling to let their jaws hang. Lord Shaxx navigated the unruly sea with grace, and headed toward a lone tree in a corner of the field. An Awoken girl and a human boy sat huddled below it. As Shaxx’s shadow eclipsed them, they looked up at him with the same brightness in their eyes. “What are your names?” he demanded. “Runa,” said the Awoken with some disdain. She returned the blank stare of Shaxx’s faceplate. “My name is Lonwabo,” recited the human, more like a question than a statement. “You look bored, Runa,” Shaxx observed. “And you look worried, Lonwabo.” He pointed at the boy, who scooted back, startled. “As far as I’m concerned that makes both of you more intelligent than all these other dregs,” said the Titan. “You’re with me. I need the rules of engagement.” Shaxx stared at them, and they stared back. “Someone talk to me.” They both spoke at once, and Shaxx listened in silence as they talked over each other to explain the game: Teams of two launch orb projectiles at each other, and players struck are eliminated. If both players on a team are eliminated, the team is out of the tournament, and their chance to play on the field is over. “What do you call this drill? Skirmish? Supremacy?” Shaxx demanded. “Dodge ball,” said Runa. “We’ll work on the name. Follow my instructions, and I will lead you to victory.” Shaxx waved one of the adults over. “Lord—Lord Shaxx?” said the Exo male. “Shaxx is fine.” Only Guardians owed him respect. “Find my team a match. Sooner the better.” Shaxx brought Lonwabo and Runa to the field, and kneeled. His hands engulfed their shoulders like a pair of descending moons. “My friends. Should you be killed, others lesser than you will take your place. Don’t fight for yourself. Fight for those poor fools.” Lonwabo opened his mouth as if to speak, but hiccupped instead. Shaxx turned them both around to face the sun and the other team across the field. He kneeled so low that his face was level with theirs. The three stared at the opposition: two human boys, eyes glaring, fists balled in determination. Their elder stood behind them, her eyes wide as she recognized Lord Shaxx. Runa yawned and rubbed her face, trying to clear the sleep from it. Shaxx whispered to his new charges. “Crush them.”

#destiny #lord shaxx #adorable #alexis-chan

[foxcroft-rpg-blog]

Congratulations, Kathryn! Wow, your application just made Neil feel so real. Reading it over, I felt like I was there with Neil, Adam and Willa. I felt like Neil was someone I knew. You built on his character in a way that just made sense, and you have a great grasp of potential plots for him. I’m so excited to see you write more for him.

Thanks again for applying! Please create your account and send in the link, track the right tags, and follow everyone on the masterlist as soon as you can. Welcome to Foxcroft!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name: Kathryn

Age: 19

Preferred pronouns: she/her

Time zone: GMT

Activity: so I’ll be active pretty much all the time until the 18th April, when I go back to uni and activity would go down somewhat (until I come back in early June). it’s an intense term even for Oxford because I have exams at the end of May/start of June, but I feel like I would still be able to see to replies before then - writing would be a really nice study break too, so I’d be dedicated to keeping on track of those! I might struggle to keep up OOC though.

Anything else?: nothing from me! :)

IN CHARACTER

Full name: Neil Monroe

Date of birth:

30th October Mischief Night. That’s what they celebrate on his birthday, and not without bitterness does he see how apt that is. Scorpio sun, Pisces moon. ‘You have a charismatic presence and a lot of willpower, but there are periods when you simply want to get out of the world. You may experience depression and mood swings. You are able to take on the feel of your surroundings. You comprehend things others are unable to. You are tuned-in, aware, and have an ability to sense things. You know innately the difference between right or wrong and no one ever has to tell you.” (x)

How long have they been in Foxcroft:

Neil has lived in Foxcroft all his life, except for the couple of nights he spent in the cheap motel at the edge of the purple cornfield one town over, when he decided that twelve was old enough to emancipate himself from his mother. Same house, same peeling paint, same scorched and sick-stained carpet. The poor end of town, at the fringe of swamp and suburbia, where the smells of the marsh are ripe and tang and the windows are always fogged up and the only cars that pass by are joyrides. Broken porch swing out front, blackened panels left charred from when his dad tried to set their house on fire. Home sweet home. (He’s been more accustomed to sofas over the last few years: Hazel’s living room, when her parents allowed it, or her bed, playing with her curls, with his palms all scraped from the tree he’d climb to get in when they didn’t. Willa’s window seat, a couple of nights a week, his legs folded up at awkward angles and the wind-chimes outside tinkling him awake. Adam’s guest room, once his parents moved out and the manor was theirs, playing golf indoors and never drawing back the curtains, losing all sense of time and liking it that way. Adam’s bed, a lot of the time, especially after Hazel died. Shivering even though it was warm there, shaking and trying to cry quietly, only settling down once he felt his friend’s arms around him. That bed was cold, now. There was no room for him there.)

Sexuality:

I’m going to go with bisexual. I think he consciously feels mostly attracted to girls, but just through writing that last answer I also feel like, whether he’s acknowledged it or not, he and Adam were a bit more intimate than friends usually are: nothing articulated, always just silent gestures, moments… maybe just because of the grief, they thought, but still. Take the vibe of lazy, day-drunk Sundays, skipping school together to go skinny dipping in the swamp, climbing into the Sweetwater Church organ loft at midnight, throwing stones up at Willa’s window and getting chased off by her father, collapsing under a lamppost in fits of giggles. The odd sloppy drunken kiss, fingertips on the other’s cheek, but none of it is real, right? Just warm. Like holding onto each other on the worst nights, when the buzz wears off and they remember what they’ve lost.

FC change: n/a

MORE

How do you interpret this character’s personality? How will you portray them? Include two weaknesses and two strengths.

I don’t think I could write about Neil’s personality as if it were a constant: grief brings out different traits, so it’s best to start before all the tragedy. Growing up, Neil was the classic case of the smart kid whose potential was extinguished by his bad background, only Foxcroft didn’t have that inspirational teacher who saw through his tardiness, his falling asleep in class, the coffee-ring and ash-stained sheets he wrote his homework on. But Neil was always very sharp, shrewd, perceptive: he would look at someone and understand them, or at least invent their character in his head. He knew how to read people and how to act around them, depending on the amount of liquor on their breath or whether there was a glass within their arm’s reach ripe for the throwing.

He used that skill, that insight, whenever he was asking for change, or pleading with Mr Rivers down the street to pay him to mow the lawn that he’d only just come round to mow two days before. He was the son of a depressive alcoholic mother and a father who snapped one day selling insurance over the phone, drove his car into a school bus and died in jail two years later. His self-reliance, then, was another strength, one which he cast off like an old coat the moment he found friends who held out their hands for him to hold – now that those hands are stiff and cold and dead, he needs to rediscover that self-reliance, but he’s struggling.

Besides the shrewd intelligence, the self-reliance, and the daring pluck that allowed him to steal, Neil’s other strength was perhaps most integral to his survival: his capacity to imagine, to dream, to conjure, to escape. His ghost stories were always the most chilling, his jokes the most elaborate, his impressions of late-night talk show hosts (his mother, passed out by ten o’clock, never sent him to bed) the most biting. He’d hidden his father’s guitar in the airing cupboard so that his mother couldn’t pawn it, and had played it so much since that he no longer thought of his dad when he touched the frets. There was something almost magnetic about Neil, when he was at his best: endearing, riddling, infuriating and charming.

He was far from the plucky urchin who enjoyed unbridled freedom, though, and from an early age suffered from a distrust of all authority which manifested in insolence: shrugging off the principal’s threats to contact his mother, flipping a middle finger at the police officers he ran away from. Leaving town every few weeks, only coming back when his legs shook from the hunger, not heaven, that he’d found on the open road. Not allowing many near, until Willa, and even then taking a long time to open up and reveal his hand. Worse were the bouts of melancholy, the hopelessness, the desperation he’d feel, the emptiness that a night around a fire with his friends and a bottle of whiskey could only fill temporarily. His moodiness, the unpredictable nature of his intense emotions: getting worked up over a harmless joke, overly defensive over the pettiest thing. Hazel had been the balm to that, the constant that he could cling to when he was caught in the tempests, and when she died the tempests died with her, and he was left with only the flat, mute, empty sea. Somehow, his friends found, that was worse: he’d lost his vigour, his spark.

Now, with Adam gone too, he’s lost everything. He can’t remember what’s real and what he’s imagined, and some days he doesn’t even know if he’s real himself. He’s quiet and his eyes are red-rimmed, ringed with dark circles. He spends a lot of time at the banks of the swamp, daring himself to walk in there and not walk back out again. He wonders whether they walked in, noble and courageous to the last, or if they were pushed. He wonders whether he was the one that pushed them.

How did this character react to the death of Hazel Abrams? Adam Foxcroft?

oh lol he was totally fine about it :) next question? ha hahaha ah aha haha no okay

What happens to the moon when the sun dies? After all, the moon’s only light is a reflection of the sun it chases. A sunny yellow bicycle, reported missing. She was found, drowned. She was drowned in the swamp. Somebody drowned her in the swamp and he lost all sense of taste for weeks after. His tongue was powerless when it wasn’t wrapping around her name, trying to think of a joke, a line, a sweet nothing to whisper. Whispers. Nobody spoke to him at a normal volume anymore, everything a murmur, a pigeon-coo. Even quieter whispers, too, whispers under their breath, he looks terrible, broken, hollow. Hollow. The tree-hollow they’d kept love-notes in, the trunk beneath it they’d carved their initials into after a picnic at the creek. He’d been carved out when she died, a whole chunk of him skinned off and buried with her. His friends had hidden his pocket knife and Adam had visited him every morning with coffee for breakfast. They didn’t drink, or talk. But he’d started to heal after a while. His smile wasn’t the same, his wit not as biting, but he moved his lips and opened his mouth and gave it all a try, anyway, even if just to appease Willa. The three of them stood at the edge of the earth together, one missing, but three still left to look over the precipice like the four always had. Their howls into the night were more like bleated cries, now, their knees skinnier and their eyes duller, but still they howled.

Then he woke up one night and Adam was dead. Adam was dead. He asked the police officer to repeat herself, he was dreaming. He was dreaming and Adam was dead. You know this already, don’t you, because we think you killed him. Adam is dead and you did it, didn’t you? He was the one you’d been holding onto, after Hazel, but maybe you held too tightly or maybe you were high but now he’s low, low down in the soil because he’s dead and you killed him. He’s been dead for two months and where have you been? Where have you been, son? Your mother is on a drip in the county hospital, they pumped the liquor out of her stomach and she’s just about hanging on. That’s where she is, but where have you been? Your buddy and your girlfriend have ended up in the dirt you come from, but where have you been? How do you not know? How do you not remember? Do you remember killing Adam Foxcroft? Don’t raise your voice at us. We have the right to restrain you. Has he suffered a mental break? We can’t hold him on this, it’s not enough. We have to let him go. One last thing, then. One more question. Did you kill Hazel, too?

How do they see the town and its people? Think about the different groups of people and prejudices the town holds about them.

Although Neil grew up in the southern end of town, where the nearby swamps bred misfits and the shared stench fostered a sort of camaraderie of outcasts, he didn’t feel like he belonged there. Nor did he belong to the suburbs, or the business district of the town centre, even though the latter was where he spent most of his time once his dad had been put away and his mom had put herself away with drink. The early days of begging and busking he’d done had garnered him a nickname among the proprietors in town: Oliver Twist, said affectionately at first with a fistful of dollars, but as the years went on it wasn’t so cute, and Oliver became a menace, a loiterer, a dirty-faced criminal.

He saw right through the churchgoers: the same people who would turn their noses up at his rotting shoes and moth-eaten sweaters as he lay on a bench on a Saturday night and looked at the stars with glassy eyes would all fall into rank Sunday morning and preach about saving the poor. He had little love for the long arm of the law, too, though thankfully his legs were longer, and they carried him out of that arm’s reach most of the time. He has even less love for the Foxcroft P.D. now, as he finds himself trapped in their web, jostled into a corner like a stray dog, about to be administered a fatal shot. They’ve finally got Monroe, they think, and they’re relishing it.

The other good people of Foxcroft are pleased too, he knows, as they watch him walk into the station with their beady eyes and mutter about time behind their papers. Even the good kids, the ones he never understood, the ones who might’ve liked him if they’d given him a chance, if they’d heard his jokes or let him sing them a song; even they want to see him gone. He’d tried to run away even before all of this, skipping to the next town over with a PB&J wrapped in newspaper in his pocket, not even through with puberty but already aware that there was no room for him in Foxcroft. The tragedy was, though, that in those nights in the cornfield Neil came to understand that there was no room for him anywhere: people of his ilk had two options, and his parents had shown him as much. Be locked up in jail, or lock yourself away inside. He knows which one the town and its people want for him, but when he sits on the hill and looks up at the moon with silent silver tears on his cheeks, all he wants is to be free.

For non-human characters: What does this character know about what they’ve become? Have they had any experiences that made them aware that weren’t exactly human? Elaborate.

I guess the first thing to address is the gaping hole in Neil’s memory. He knows that the lapse started on the night of the eclipse, but he doesn’t yet understand its significance: for now, the eclipse just equals the last time he saw his best friend alive. He has no idea what could’ve led him to forget two months’ worth of his life: the police are pushing him pretty fervently along the drugs line, but he’s never been much of a user – he can’t afford it. They softened a little once they’d ruled that out, telling him that those who are suffering from trauma can often will entire years out of their memories, that maybe something had triggered him which had caused him to do the same. They weren’t too soft, though, he realised: their idea of a possible trigger for such a memory loss was the murder of his best friend by his own hands. Then they turned to the bloodied hands he’d been found with, and they mused on the idea of a cult. Vulnerable kid, out in the wilderness alone to clear his head, picks one wrong car to hitchhike in… They pitched these theories to him like plots to a cheap horror movie, and none of them fit.

He hasn’t realised that, in the month or so he’s been back, his mood has been waxing and waning in pace with the lunar cycle. He doesn’t see the correlation between the thin sliver of a crescent moon and his cold fever, his physical weakness, the ache in his joints and his shaking hands. He just blames the cigarettes. He has noticed one thing, though, just recently. A mark on his body that is foreign, a mark he doesn’t remember having before Adam died. He spotted it in the mirror after he finally got to shower, after the police had taken samples of the blood on his body and he was allowed to wash it off at home. The ghost of a pale crescent etched high up on his left side, under his collarbone, small and sinister. He touched it, and it felt cold even though the water washing over him was scalding hot. He couldn’t remember getting it done. He couldn’t remember anything.

When he touched it, he could feel his heart beating; he remembered feeling it racing when he was with Hazel, when he was with Adam. He remembered how their hearts were still, but when he touched the crescent on his chest he felt his own heart still pumping, bitter and stoic. The strength in his body gave out and he sank to his knees, keeled over in the shower, back arched and chest shuddering with sobs. He saw the blood on his hands again, the blood which didn’t belong to him, and he scrubbed at his palms with his knuckles until they were red raw for real. He stayed in the shower with his head in his hands until the water ran cold, but still he didn’t feel clean.

Please include 1-2 possible plots you see for this character. The first cluster of plots I think we need for Neil deal with the short-term, and focus on his role in the investigation as it is right now. I want to see tense encounters with Murphy, visits and investigations which aren’t perhaps all above board, or compliant with official procedure: Murphy’s so close to pinning it on Neil and burying the truth that I think he’ll be getting desperate, and I want to see real threatening tension there between them. I also think Levi is important in this regard, and I’d love to cook up some sort of exposé on the Monroe family (it’s perfect for the paper: a crazy, jailed, dead father; drunken, depressive, hospitalised mother; and their inevitably criminal, sociopathic, murderous son) and play that out with Neil and Levi: I think Levi would be really important in telling Neil’s redemption story, too, if that ever comes, so developing their relationship would be very interesting. Amelia is crucial to short-term plots as well as the longer-term burn: we’ll have to tease out an excruciating process of trust, but I want there to come a point where Neil gets to look Amelia in the eye and tell her how he really felt about her brother, and I feel like when that point comes, she’ll believe his innocence, and maybe they can develop a good bond. Because of his role in the murder case, I think it’d be quite easy for Neil to be believably cast out by a lot of characters, and it’s unlikely that he’d push to make connections at this point, so I’ll be on the lookout for ways to engage him with people in circles that he isn’t already involved in. (Cassidy and Summer and the other ‘good kids’ are an interesting case, for example. I wonder, does anyone in the town not think he did it? Or at least pity him nonetheless? I’d be keen to work on a plot related to that, but I think a crucial figure in ‘saving’ him is obviously Willa. The rebuilding of their relationship would be very important in the long-term.) Working on the slow enmity-to-friendship of him and Cherry is another plot I’d be keen to develop. I’ve also been doing some thinking about Shae, and thought it would be cool if one day either they bump into each other and get talking about it - at the bar, maybe, on neighbouring barstools - or Neil just straight up approaches her, and basically he asks Shae to try and read his mind to go digging for answers, to help him un-block his memory, to find the truth, etc. He’s skeptical and reluctant at first, probably, but there’s lots of potential there! I also really, really want to throw him and Valerie together, and Jonah. The fact that they know they’re responsible for at least one of the deaths, of his girlfriend at that, and that now he’s likely going down for both murders – a conversation between them would honestly be squirm-worthy and I want it now. I also want to develop a plot between himself and Dominic - they might have never met before, but maybe they meet whilst both grieving down in the swamps. They get to talking, and they realise how well the other knew Hazel and how little they were aware of it until that point, and voilá - tension.

WRITING SAMPLE

The round white mouth of the interrogation lamp burned full like the moon outside the station, its hot electric hum causing his skin to prickle. The officer had stepped out, undoubtedly in an attempt to rustle his nerves, to leave him with his thoughts in the hope that they’d bubble up so much he’d end up squealing. As if they didn’t already shriek in his skull. Neil’s fingers were shaking, as he sat silently at the table, and he patted his chest for the cigarette box they’d confiscated as he’d come in. Muscle memory. He was good with that: sirens mean run, fists mean duck, bottle-clink means grit your teeth and try to read the newscaster’s lips over the shouting. Oliver Twist, they’d called him, the cherubic thief you can’t help but forgive. Little did they know that Oliver would grow up, and his angel face would become gaunt and his eyes dull, and suddenly his skinny hips and bruised knees would be repulsive, and instead of smiled at he’d be spat on and instead of hand-outs, he’d get handcuffs. On his way in that night he’d been marched past the same officer who’d sat in his patrol car silently six years back, watching the store owner pummel a minor for shoplifting a frozen pizza and some Band-Aids. He’d been photographed for the mugshots by the same officer who’d visited the house after his dad’s arrest, who’d reviled his mother, sneering, to his face: Surname sure does suit her, doesn’t it? Monroe. Blonde hair, bit of a looker, popular with the fellas. Wonder what she’s got rattling in the bathroom cabinets. Daring Neil to hit him, daring him to commit an arrestable offence right then and there, just so they could pack him up for good. Over his dead body, he’d thought: it had turned out to be over Adam’s, instead. He’d never really been able to grow much facial hair, but stubble had ghosted his sallow cheeks when they found him. ‘Like a terrible ghost’, the old Mr and Mrs had described him in their story for the papers: Neil’s reappearance had given them enough dinner-party material for a lifetime. He felt like a ghost, too, a wailing phantom lurking about in the streets of a town which just wanted him gone. He was even living in a ghost house, empty of its owners, bills piling up by the door. He hadn’t gone to visit his mother in the hospital yet. It was almost as though, in his head, she’d died too. Some days he wondered why he hadn’t died himself already. Was he staying alive for the next microwave quesadilla, the next pack of cigarettes? He used to own his poverty like it was interesting, playing the role of the jaded stray too old for his years, too clever for his own good. All that cleverness – the biting remarks, the Sartre aphorisms he’d picked up from a documentary soundtracked by his mother’s snores – was useless now. All the blasé bitterness in the world couldn’t save him, nor help him pick up the pieces which lay around him in ruins.

He’d tried to weave the tapestry together a thousand times, just like the police officers who sat opposite him and attempted to do the same with their questions, their scribbles, their murmurs. None of it made sense, though, almost as if there were a thread missing which condemned the whole thing to fall apart. A missing piece in the story, a missing chapter in the timeline: for him, it was missing months. He needed to make sense of it all, needed to understand as much as he’d craved all those years to be understood. He still craved that now, as he stared into the cup of bad coffee the officer had left him with and tried to find the answer in its black stillness: where have I been? Who am I now? Where the hell am I going?

EXTRA [THIS SECTION WILL NOT INFLUENCE ACCEPTANCE]

How would you feel about this character dying?:

kill him !!!! kill him now !! but no in all seriousness, I’d be okay with him dying and, to be completely honest, I feel like he’s marked himself for death already anyway. my aim in plotting will be to bring him back from that edge with the help of other characters, but if the future turns of events obscure that goal, or if someone takes it upon themselves to kill him themselves, I’d be totally chill with that. it makes a lot of sense for Neil not to make it out of this mess alive, tbh, as much as he’s my baby and I’d hope he does.

Why did you choose this character?:

I’ve played a lot of characters with internal struggles and woes and worries before, but Neil has this darker edge to him which I wanted to explore as a writer. He’s a bit more of a wild target, too (chaotic neutral, I think?) where I’m more familiar with the lawful neutrals and goods. And, of course, there’s a lot of meaty plot to get through with him, and a lot of things to straighten out with regards to his friends, identity, and his role in the case, all of which I’m really excited to bite into.

Extras:

I have a mock blog for him here, though it’s somewhat sparse, but my pinterest board for him conveys a bit more. I’ve also made a playlist of songs that either relate to him or actually feature in his story throughout the years - there are little notes besides each in the description that should explain that more fully.

How did you find us?: through a friend referral!

p.s.: finally, thank you so much for reading all of this !!! I know my app was hideously too long and overblown but I hope you liked it

#rp #rpg #roleplay #lsrpg #bio rp #accepted #neil monroe

[disrepairhouse]

::Return - Chapter 15

Hours and seconds passed at the same rate as the gem pulled them towards an exit.  Itara was grateful for the end of the whipping about, either way, but she had virtually no time to prepare for a graceful landing and had already accepted her inevitable plummet into rocks or concrete or whichever she was about to land on. The opened portal threw them back out with a powerful kick, sending Itara scrambling to stay on her feet but it was Zero who saved her face – and knees – by keeping a grip on her hand until she regained her balance.  She had no further time to thank him, however, as a familiar voice yelled out.

“Sonic, help me!”

Itara’s brows furrowed as she looked up, noticing first that the world was… not covered in fire.  The sky was blue and the temperature felt normal for a summer afternoon in the northern hemisphere.  But Tails was not twenty feet away, cowering in front of a broken E-123 Omega, with Chaos closing in.

Chaos?

Not the giant, world-destroying Chaos she’d left behind. It was normal, regular-sized Chaos, before he gained control over the emeralds.  Yet he was attacking nonetheless and Itara knew who her enemies were nowadays.  “Zero!” she pointed the water monster out and within seconds, it was cut down.  However, it seemed to fizzle out of existence instead of simply retreating back into the drain it came from.  She was glad to see Tails again, it meant she was back home, but something was clearly off.  How long had she been gone?  Did they power the Gods down before she managed to return with the gem?  Did she… go back in time?  Well, she would get her answers soon.

Tails came out of his curled ball slowly, looking over his shoulder once he put his arms down, his hopeful expression dropping to confusion. Obviously, he’d been expecting Sonic, but his next question concerned Itara even more, “Who are you?”  Tails show know Zero by now and, more importantly, he should have recognized her but he showed no signs of recognition once she walked over.

“Do you… not know us?” she questioned, meeting his confusion.

“Are you with the Resistance?”

She didn’t recall their group having a name before but Knuckles did seem to like naming things unnecessarily, perhaps she simply never noticed.  “That depends on what the ‘Resistance’ is, I suppose.”  She desperately needed a nap.  This day was too long.

Tails’ brow furrowed in further confusion, he debated for a long moment before answering warily, “The Resistance against Eggman? The team put together by Knuckles to fight back against Eggman and his army and take the world back?”

Eggman?  Eggman should be hiding in space.  What army was this?  She looked up to give Zero a look of confusion and concern before turning back to Tails, “I’m… going to need an explanation.”  She glanced around the street.  It was abandoned, she couldn’t even hear distant city noise, despite being dead center in a well-developed cityscape.  It wasn’t Soleanna, she could tell that much, but not much beyond that. The longer she looked, the more details stuck out to her.  The buildings were badly damaged and she could see smoke in the distance.  Weeds were growing up through the cement, with full grass patches where the cement had been completely upturned.  Then there was the inactive Omega right next to them. What was going on here?  When was here?

“What… year is it?” she questioned slowly, turning her gaze back to Tails, who jerked and watched her strangely.

“It’s… 2017.  Are you… alright?  Were you attacked by one of Eggman’s robots?  I can take you to a shelter to get your head checked out.”

That couldn’t be right.  It was only the beginning of 2017 when she and Zero left her world.  Even if this was later in the year, it couldn’t possibly be so different.  She reached out to grab Tails’ shoulders, questioning, “Are you sure?”

“Y-Yes!  I’m sure. Let me take you to one of the shelters, you clearly need to lie down,” Tails insisted, reaching up to pry her hands off, though he looked up at Zero warily, “Who are you?”

Zero’s eyes narrowed, but reluctantly responded, “I suppose I’ve now taken on the role of this one’s keeper.”  If he recalled correctly, it had been this same year when they left.  Why did the fox not recognize at least Itara?  Something didn’t add up.  Perhaps X was right to send him, he would need to keep a close eye on the situation. Yet at the same time, it meant more of this world’s nonsense.

Tails eventually convinced Itara to follow him to a resistance base so she could get looked at and lie down – and apparently caught up on what was going on – and the three headed out of the city mostly in silence. Zero surveyed their surroundings, taking careful note of the differences between the world they left behind and the one they arrived in.  There was still heavy destruction, but if the fox was to be believed, it was caused by the scientist, rather than the Gods.  In fact, other than the initial run-in with Chaos, there was no sign of the Gods and their destruction.  Itara was lost in thought and confusion but Tails found the strength to speak up again soon enough.

“The nearest base is a bit of a run.  Are you going to be alright to make the journey?  You seem really out of it.”

Itara stared out, unable to respond for several moments, but shook her head at length.  “I think I need the walk.”  Then again, she didn’t even have time to rest from her last disaster-laden walk.  Her knees were still scuffed up, everything was sore, her head was swimming, and she was absolutely drained from using so much power.  As soon as they arrived at the base, she wanted a nap.  Then answers.

The rest of the walk was equally silent.  They tread carefully through the destroyed ghost town, Zero running point on their path out of the city to avoid any mishaps or run-ins with the sea of Eggman robots running about.  They could see wide, towering robots several stories high in the distance making a bigger ruckus on the other side of the city but it thinned out considerably on their side.  Itara nearly collapsed into the pasture once they were outside the city, both from exhaustion and the simple desire to lie on green grass again.  She vaguely registered Tails mentioning something about ‘Green Hill’ but all her shock-ridden brain could conjure was the agreement that the hill they were on was, in fact, green and that she hadn’t seen any such thing in far too long.  Tails cast her a worried glance at the comment, but said nothing as his wristlet suddenly beeped.  He stopped to check it and glared once he did.

“What is it?” Zero questioned, knowing Itara wasn’t registering any conversation.

“Eggman,” Tails spat, his fury with the scientist overwhelming in his tone and expression.  “He’s apparently nearby.  We need to see what he’s up to.”

They both glanced over at Itara as she stood, wavering in place, struggling to stay awake.  Zero sighed and reached down to pick her up, startling her back away, “Huh? What?”

“You’re slow and we need to make a side stop.”

She only stared out again, a small, tired smile spreading across her face.  Metal used to call her slow.  She missed him.  Zero gave Tails the go ahead to lead the way and the two took off again at a much quicker pace without the need to wait for the zoned out, half asleep hedgehog dozing off against Zero’s back.  Tails seemed to study the landscape with uncertainty as they passed through, Zero growing concerned that he was already lost.  However, before long, the wristlet went off again and Tails came to a slow stop, suddenly waving Zero down and ducking behind an outcrop of rocks.

The two made themselves scarce and listened in on the nearby conversation.  Zero reached up to shake the hedgehog awake, hushing her when she yelped at the sudden movement.

“And with that, the last of the Phantom Ruby prototypes are destroyed.”  It was a voice neither Zero nor Itara recognized.  It was deep and self-assured and came from a black and white jackal standing several feet in front of them.  His back was to them, facing the all-too-familiar round shape of Dr. Robotnik in one of his many hovercrafts.

“It was a defective model, anyway,” Robotnik grumbled.

“Only a being with my strength of will could ever activate it, anyway.”

“It doesn’t matter now, with the lab in Mystic Jungle locked down. Which reminds me, didn’t you run into Sonic while you were there?”  The question got a wide-eyed stare from Tails.

“Yes, but he was powerless against me.  There is no need for concern.”

“You let the hedgehog live?!  That is a great cause for concern!”

“For you, perhaps.  He’s beaten you for decades.  But I defeated him in our first meeting.”  Itara’s brows furrowed in confusion.  Defeated Sonic?  She’s never seen this jackal before in any of her long lives.

“Phantom Ruby Prototypes?” Tails questioned, grabbing their attention, “And Sonic is… alive?”  What? He suddenly ducked below the rocks and Zero moved further around the cliff to ensure they weren’t seen.  After a moment, the conversation continued and the three went back to listening.

“We move forward with the plan, then.  In three days, the Resistance will be erased.  The world will be ashes, from which a glorious new Eggman Empire will arise!” Robotnik exclaimed.

“And the Resistance will yield to the power of the Phantom Ruby.  All will submit.”

The conversation ended but Tails and Zero waited until they were sure the two had left before moving again.  Tails walked out and went right to pacing, “Sonic is alive!  But what is Eggman planning this time?  I’ve never heard of this Phantom Ruby before, we need to look into this.  I need to get this back to everyone.”  He stopped and looked up at Zero and Itara, “We need to get back to headquarters, stat.”

Zero glanced back at the hedgehog on his back when she gave no response, finding her staring down with a look of perplexed confusion.  Once she realized the others are looking to her for a response, she shook her head and focused in, “I’m inclined to agree but first, I need to know.  Assume, hypothetically, that I have no idea what you’re talking about right now.  What happened to Sonic, exactly?”  Tails’ expression flashed between impatient and confused before finally settling on pained. “Consider it a possible side effect of my apparent head injury,” she added when it seemed to be an odd question.

Eventually, Tails sighed and crossed his arms, looking away from them and frowning, “If you really don’t know… six months back, the city came under attack by Robotnik.  Robots everywhere.  We did our best to fight them off but when Sonic finally showed up to take care of Egghead, himself… that jackal appeared.  With others.” Tails’ ears dropped as he explained, “I couldn’t get a reading on him, no matter what I tried.  It was five-on-one, I didn’t know what to do. Sonic… I thought… I thought we lost him. We haven’t seen him since the fight. It’s how Robotnik’s gotten so far. The entire world has fallen. Knuckles is doing his best, trying to keep up a Resistance, but without Sonic…”

Itara’s expression only grew more confused.  Six months?  Robotnik?  None of this lined up.  Perhaps it was best to keep a low profile, at least until she determined what was going on. Who was that jackal?

“But he’s alive!” Tails suddenly sprung to life again, looking up at them with impatience once more, “We have to get this back to headquarters!  There’s still hope!”

Itara and Zero exchanged a silent conversation through glances that ended when Itara finally nodded and looked to Tails again, “Right. Then we ought to get going again, I should think.  Lead the way.”  She wasn’t sure what any of this meant or why they ended up here, but she had a sneaking suspicion this was not her timeline.  Again.  She would need to be cautious about walking into the Resistance den, just in case. She didn’t know who would be there or what they knew or even her own status in whatever timeline this possibly was.

The run between what Itara finally recognized as Green Hill and the Resistance base outside of Metropolis did little to answer further questions.  She realized why she hadn’t recognized anything right away, being an entire world away from Soleanna, but the destruction wasn’t nearly the same as she was used to.  Unlike the world she left, cities were still mostly intact, forests remained standing, and the oceans were where they belonged.  There was no sign of Solaris or either form of Gaia, and she questioned whether the Chaos they ran into was even the real one.  It didn’t react the way the real Chaos should have.  What was going on?

The gem in her bag, that she was sure was from her world, had all but dragged them to this exit.  It knew where it was going, where it belonged.  So how did this all connect?  Why here?

The Resistance base, hidden in a deep section of forest well out of the city’s sight, came into view rather suddenly as Tails slowed to enter the building.  There was decent tree coverage and Itara hadn’t even realized it was there until they were practically on top of it, unlike Sonic’s base back home, which stuck out like a sore thumb on a flat, burnt landscape.  Tails led the way through the cement-covered hallways and through a massive draw-up sliding door to reveal what she assumed was the main command center.  There was a console set up in the center of the room with a large screen on the back wall and several boxes set up around the edges of the room.

“Sonic!”

“Tails!”

“You’re alive!”

The two embraced as Itara motioned to Zero to put her back on her feet again, though kept to the far edge of the room to observe.  In addition to Sonic and Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Silver, and Team Chaotix were all present.  Wait, Silver?  What was he doing here?  How was he here?!  What was going on in this timeline?!  She saw no sign of Blaze, though.  Or Shadow, for that matter.  At least that was some small relief.  She decided to focus back in on the conversation to try and find out.

“The good news is: you’re safe,” Tails was saying, “The bad news is: Eggman said he has some plan that will destroy us all in three days.”

“Normally I’d laugh at an Eggman plan, but he’s already conquered most of the world at this point,” Knuckles frowned.

“Three days, huh?  A lot can happen in that time!” Sonic grinned with all the optimism Itara had certainly not missed.  He finally seemed to notice the extra eyes at the back the room, though, as he looked over and questioned, “Who are you?”  All eyes fell to the hedgehog and robot as Itara took a deep breath.

“We came to join the fight, of course,” she lied, not wanting to causing any suspicion just yet.  “But it’s been an incredibly long day and I think I’ve bumped my head at some point.  Do you have anywhere I could possibly lie down and rest for a bit?”  She reached up to rub her head, conveniently where she was getting a headache, anyway.  She supposed it helped she was likely covered in scratches and bruises from the last fight she joined, as well.

“Sure thing,” Knuckles stepped up, motioning for her to follow him, though they all watched Zero with a heavy amount of suspicion. Before she could jump to his defense, however, a warning popped up on Vex’s wristlet.

“I hate to interrupt, but we’re apparently under attack. Shadow is tearing through our forces in Sunset Heights, we may need to send in reinforcements,” he explained, causing the room to go silent and Itara to stop in her tracks.  Shadow was an enemy in this timeline?  Should she be working with Sonic, then?  Her head was spinning and the sooner she laid down, the better.  She turned desperately back to Knuckles and asked again about that place to lie down. She would deal with all of this after some rest.  As Knuckles led her and the ever-watchful Zero back through another door, the conversations about Shadow continued behind them.

“Shadow, huh?” Sonic growled, “Last time I saw him, he was working for Eggman.”

“It’s possible he’s being controlled by that strange gem,” Silver suggested.

“Whatever it is, I’ll figure it out.”

Gem?  The Phantom Ruby mentioned earlier?  No. No.  She would figure it out later.  Her head was splitting.  Knuckles led them down the hall a way to a small, empty room and swung the door open for her.  “It’s not much, but its what we’ve got for now.  I’ll come back in a bit to give you a better introduction to everything, but we’ve got a situation at the moment.”

“It’s fine.  Do what you must,” Itara muttered, trudging into the room and nearly collapsing on the bed, Zero following after.  Knuckles tossed them a final glance before closing the door and leaving.  Once he was gone, she groaned loudly and wrapped her head in her hands for a solid minute.  This was too much at once.  None of it made sense.  She was still trying to comprehend everything that happened before Sigma, now there was all this!  Should she follow Sonic?  The Resistance?  Figure out what’s going on with Robotnik?  Look into the changes – wait.

All at once, her thoughts stopped dead in their tracks and she remained perfectly still while Zero watched her silently from the other side of the room.  With a deep breath, she pushed herself up into a sitting position and stared out, muttering, “I’m a time traveler.”

“You are.”

“I’m back in my universe.”

“Yes.”

“Why am I stressing about being anywhere in any specific amount of time?”

“From what I can tell, you -.”

“That was rhetorical!” Itara shouted angrily as she stood back up properly and reached around to pull her backpack off.  “I’m going to time travel to find out what’s going on here.  I’m going to readjust my brain.  And I’m going to take a long nap,” she explained as deadpan and calm as physically possible.  “We’re somehow in the same time as when we left, but obviously something is off here. I’m going to go back to this event six months ago and watch what happened, myself.”  Obviously, the differences ran deeper than this event with Sonic so she would likely need to travel back further, but it was a start to the current situation to at least determine whose side she should be on. “I don’t want to get involved in anything that’s going on until I’m sure of the situation.  Stay here, I’ll be back.”

“Very well.  Don’t get lost.”

“Shut up.”  With that, she reached out to the timelines and sighed in relief when she had access to them again.  They felt different, but she imagined there were a number of good reasons for that.  She found the date she was looking for and stepped through, disappearing from sight. Zero stood, waiting and watching, wondering what she would find and how long it would take her to return.  Should he explore their headquarters more?  Do his own digging?  But as he was pushing off the wall to do just that, the portal opened and she returned, looking distinctly more ragged and confused than when she left.

“I don’t understand anything.”  Her eyes were wide and she stared off at a far corner, though didn’t actually seem to see anything before her.  There were new tears in the clothes she’d worn for – to him – all of a day, but more than anything, that strange doll was back in her arms, whole again. “I don’t understand anything at all,” she repeated, falling back on the bed and continuing to stare off, “Nothing’s right.  Soleanna isn’t right.  RK was destroyed.  Metal was in lockdown.  Our house was empty, like we’d never been there in the first place.”  She looked up at him finally, the dread filling every fiber of her being, “There was no battle of the Gods eight years ago. There was no Mephiles.  No Iblis.  Nothing in my timeline ever happened!  I don’t exist!  Did my travel to your dimension mess mine up entirely somehow?!  Did my existence get erased while I was gone?!”

As she wrapped her arms tighter around the silent, two-tailed fox doll and pulled her legs up onto the bed to rock back and forth, Zero could only watch in confusion.  “Is it possibly we’re in an alternate timeline altogether?”

She went silent for several long moments before looking up at him with wide eyes, “That’s it!  That’s got to be it, we’re in an alternate timeline.  I’m not actually home yet!”  But her eyes narrowed in confusion again as she looked towards her dropped backpack, “But then… why here?  This problem with Eggman isn’t our concern.  Why would we get pulled here?”

“Perhaps it’s that ruby they spoke of.”

“The… ruby.  Right. Right!”  She jumped up off the bed again, though nearly crashed to the floor the second she did, causing Zero to sigh heavily.  He was definitely starting to understand why the other robots watched over her so closely.  She was a mess.  As much as she insisted otherwise.  Once she had herself readjusted and her backpack pulled on, she turned back to him and squared up, “We need to find that jackal.  I’m going to- wait.”  She stopped short and reached back to grab her notebook but stopped short again. None of the pages were blacked-out anymore.  Not the ones from her world, not the ones from Zero’s, and none of the later pages. Her book was entirely back to normal. “So… this is it?  This is what was causing my notebook to act up. Whatever’s going on in this world is what’s affecting the other dimensions.  It’s got to be that ruby!”

“If the Robotnik of this world has something powerful enough to affect not only other timelines in his own dimension but mine as well, what do you intend to do against it?  The reason you sought this power out was because it was stronger than the Gods, right?  So what do you intend to do against it?”

“I…”  All the color immediately faded from her face as her posture crumbled in on itself.  He had a point.  The entire purpose of this long, drawn out expedition was to find a power strong enough to defeat the Gods.  If someone like Robotnik had that kind of power, he wouldn’t give it up without a fight and overpowering her would be all too easy.  However, after a moment, she huffed and shook her head, squaring back up, “I’ll figure it out.  If I don’t exist here, no one should expect my powers.  That was my advantage in the original timeline, no one knowing who or what I was, I can use that advantage again.  Which means, for now, we need to keep our real identities under wraps.  Until I can learn more.”

She stopped again and looked back and forth between the bed and the door, debating for several minutes before sighing.  Her backpack shuffled off her shoulders and thudded to the floor as she crawled back over to the bed, “I need that nap, after all.  We can go chasing after Sonic and Shadow and that jackal later.  Wake me up if anything else happens, alright?”

“Do I look like your alarm clock?” Zero growled, getting a scowl from the hedgehog.

“Fine.  Then I’ll just sleep for hours and you can sit there being bored all day.  I don’t care.  I’m going to sleep.”  And with a final huff, she curled up, closed her eyes, and blocked the outside world out.

#Disrepair House #Itara #Zero #Tails #Dr. Robotnik #Eggman #Infinite #Arc Three #::Return #Chapter 15 #mega man #Mega Man X #sonic #Sonic Forces #sonic fanfic #fanfic #robots #rogue robots #apocalypse #worlds collide