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ibelieveinharrystyles · 4 years

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Chapter Two: Secret Love Songs

Always Golden Masterlist

Harry was on Ashley’s mind, it’s all she could think about, the way Will was with him, the way Harry tried to defend himself without causing conflict. It was all she could think about, as she stood at the kitchen counter, stirring the sugar into her tea. “Morning gorgeous, sleep well?” Will asked, snaking his arms around her waist as he stood behind her.

“Fine, yeah,” She sighed, “I’ve got to get Daisy ready.” She told him, pulling away from his embrace and taking her mug of tea upstairs, after working on the breakfast show for almost three years, you would think she’d be used to the insanely early mornings, but suffice to say, she wasn’t. She got Daisy fed and dressed, before doing the same for herself, leaving the house to drop Daisy off at nursery on her way to work, without so much as a goodbye kiss for Will.

Once she had dropped Daisy off she hopped on her regular tube into work, having moved to North London at the beginning of the year, the journey was far more enjoyable. “Morning Ro,” Ashley smiled as she buzzed herself into the offices.

“Morning Ash, how are you on this fine morning?” He replied.

“Not bad, you seem very cheery.” Ashley said as the duo made their way into the studio.

“It’s a brilliant day, it’s Friday, Harry’s dropped a new song-”

“Has he?” Ashley asked, not aware of this brand new information.

“You do have twitter don’t you? The fans were going crazy about it this morning. We’re playing it on the show later, you can hear it then.” Roman explained.

“I had no idea, me and Will were binge watching netflix last night. Guess I’ll hear it first on the radio.”

“Good morning, you’re listening to Capital Breakfast with me Roman Kemp and Ash Hanson. We’ve got some great music to come your way this morning, with some shiny new releases too.” Roman said into his microphone.

“That’s right, for the first time on the Capital network this is the brand new single, Lights Up by Harry Styles.” Ashley sat back in awe, admiring how much Harry’s sound had matured, the song itself was a masterpiece and she was so proud of Harry for being so honest in his music again. She quickly pulled out her phone, hesitant to send him a message of congratulations, but in the end she did.

Harry lay anxiously in bed, staring at his phone screen as more and more notifications pinged onto his screen. He didn’t bother to open them until he saw Ash’s name pop up on his screen, he opened it to see a text from her, his heart now full of joy; H, it’s incredible, you never fail to amaze me, I’m so incredibly proud of you my rockstar, love A x

For the first time in almost two years, he felt at peace, for it seemed his Ash had forgiven him, she was ready to move on, as was he. In a haste he replied quickly; Do you want to come for dinner at mine later? I’ll cook our favourite, H x

Ashley wasn’t expecting him to reply so quickly, and she wasn’t expecting the reply she got either. For Harry to invite her over, when until August they hadn’t seen each other for two years it seemed like a big deal. She was meant to be going out with Will and Daisy, but they could do that any night. Sounds like a lovely idea, I’ll bring a bottle of something, shall we say 7pm? x

Ashley wasn’t really sure what she was doing, or why she had agreed to it, but she cared for Harry more than she cared for their animosity. She found herself looking back through old photos on her phone, pictures of Harry and Daisy, pictures of Ashley and Harry at various one direction shows, along with some of her favourite pictures of Harry she had taken over the years.

[insert pinterest picture]

“So this is a girl from work you're meeting up with tonight?” Will asked, sat on Ashley’s bed as she curled her hair. He was meant to be staying the night after their family trip out for dinner, but Ashley decided to put that on the back burner.

“Yeah, her boyfriend’s been cheating on her, she found out last night.” Ashley lied, somehow thinking up a complex web of lies was easier than explaining she was going for dinner with Harry.

“Couldn’t you just go another night?” Will asked, massaging her shoulders.

“She needs me now Will, they were together for almost seven years, and he goes and shags her best mate. She’s distraught, we can go out literally any other night of the week.” Ashley explained, topping up her lipstick, “How do I look?”

“Probably just as well you’re meeting up with this girl from work, if there were lads about I wouldn’t want them to so much as glance at you.” Will’s tone surprised her, it was almost territorial, she knew what Harry was like, he was a sucker for dishing out compliments, and Will would absolutely hate him for it.

“Well Holly is very much straight, so there’s no worries there.” Ashley assured him as she buckled up her heels, checking herself in the mirror, the sheer black shirt over a bralette with a leather mini skirt was a risk, but she felt confident, and it was only polite to make an effort for Harry. “I should head off now, I’ll just say bye to Dais.” Ashley made her way into the kitchen where Daisy was munching on fish fingers and potato faces. “Be good for Will my lovely, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Have a good evening baby, love you.” Will whispered, kissing her out of nowhere.

“See you later.” Ashley smiled, before leaving her flat promptly.

In all the years Harry has lived in his massive Hampstead home, Ashley had never got used to the sheer size of it. She felt lucky that she could afford a two bedroom flat in Hackney on just her wages, but this was something else. She rang the buzzer and the gates swung open almost immediately, she made her way up the crazy long driveway, her heels crunching into the gravel. As she arrived at the door, Harry was already there waiting for her, dressed in a shirt, only buttoned halfway of course, with a pair of loose fit trousers, “Don’t you look lovely?” Harry smiled, greeting Ashley with open arms, it had felt like an eternity since Harry had embraced her, his arms made her feel safe in the same way they always had.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Styles.” Ashley smiled up at him, “Oh I bought wine,” She continued, realising that they had slowly become lost in each other’s gaze.

“Oh right, thank you, come through to the kitchen.” Harry stuttered, taking the bottle from her and leading her into the dimly lit kitchen. “Do you want a glass then?” He asked, taking two from the cupboard.

“Oh of course! Feels like an eternity since I’ve properly let my hair down.” Ashley replied, kicking off the heels that were already giving her blisters.

“Is Will not the partying type then?” Harry asked, sliding her glass to her.

“Do we have to get into that again?” Ashley sighed, remembering the fallout on her Mum’s birthday.

“I’m sorry,” Harry held his hands up, “He’s definitely jealous though.” He smirked.

“What’s there to be jealous of?”

“Our inexplicable connection,” Harry smiled, “Anyway, this food isn’t going to make itself.”

“So what are we having?” Ashley asked.

“Your favourite.”

“Which is?” Ashley teased.

“My homemade roast dinner.”

“Is the right answer!” Ashley shouted.

“I don’t think I’m going to need to eat for another five years after that,” Ashley announced as the pair took a seat on Harry’s massive sofa.

“I do my best,” He smiled, “So how’s life been?”

“Busy, work’s chaotic as always, but I love it, me and Dais moved to Hackney at the beginning of the year, Lou and Lux literally live two doors down from us which Daisy loves. She started nursery last month, she loves it so much, she’s such a little performer, look at this.” Ashley pulled out her phone, turning it to Harry, it was a video of Daisy dancing to a One Direction song that was playing in the middle of a supermarket, she looked up to see Harry wiping his eyes, “Hey, why are you getting like that for H?”

“I was such an idiot, I let you down, both of you,” He sniffled, “I missed all the important bits, when she was born I promised you I’d protect you both, and what did I do? I ran away at the first sign of trouble.”

“I don’t blame you, at the time I was mad at you, but I could never stay angry at you, we both know that.” Ashley assured him, taking hold of his hand, “You will always be my best friend, till my very last breath, I promise you that.”

“What would Will have to say about that?” Harry asked.

“Why should his opinion matter? You’re part of my life, and that shouldn’t hinder our relationship in any way at all.” Ashley assured him.

“Do you love him?” Harry asked out of nowhere.

“Of course I do, he makes me happy, and he’s great with Daisy.” Ashley couldn’t help but feel as though she was lying to Harry, she cared for Will, of course she did, but even eight months into their relationship, she hadn’t said that he loved him off her own back.

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Hours had passed and Harry and Ashley had been talking non-stop, about life when they were teenagers, life now and everything in between. “Do you want to hear some music from the new album?” Harry asked.

“Are you sure? I know how much of a perfectionist you can be.” Ashley replied.

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t want you to hear it,” Harry led Ashley to his studio, a room in the house that Ashley had never really spent much time in. He pulled up some of the tracks, playing an upbeat one first, Harry sat back in his seat, trying to read Ashley’s emotions. The lyrics echoed through the room, “You’re so golden, I'm out of my head, and I know that you're scared, Because hearts get broken.”

“It’s beautiful H, all of it is.” Ashley told him, Harry’s expression was lifeless, like he didn’t want to have to tell her the truth about something, “Wait hang on, no, surely not,” Ashley was slowly piecing together the truth, “Please tell me that song is not about us.”

“I can’t lie to you Ash,” Harry whispered.

“No, don’t do this, things are alright between us now, this doesn’t need to happen.” Ashley muttered as she slowly stood up,

“You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same way Ash, you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it too.” Harry sighed, following after her as she made her way from the studio into the hallway where she left her jacket and shoes.

“We can’t do this Harry, we can’t be those people.” Ashley told him forcefully.

“We could be though, deep down you know it too.” Harry replied softly.

“Harry, I know how this works, you find someone, its sunshine and roses for a couple of months and then one day you shatter their heart into a million pieces.” Ashley cried, tears streaming down her cheeks, “And I’m not going to let that be me.”

Ashley slept badly, the following morning she woke up to the sound of Daisy’s hysterical laughter coming from the kitchen, she threw on the first hoodie she could find and made her way downstairs to see Will and Daisy making cupcakes. “Morning you two,” She smiled, filling the kettle up with water.

“It’s the afternoon,” Will replied bluntly as he helped Daisy ice her cupcakes, “You got back late Ash, I was worried about you.”

“Holly needed me there, she got drunk and I put her to bed.” Ashley lied.

“Could’ve texted me though.” Will replied,

“My phone died.” Ashley explained, pouring herself a cup of tea.

“Yeah I realised, hence why I put it on charge,” He unplugged her phone and slid it forcefully across the counter to her, “Might want to check your messages, a certain someone was really concerned whether you got home last night.”

Ashley’s heart fell to the pit of her stomach, “Dais go play in your room for a bit please.”

“But I’m busy.” Daisy replied.

“Just go please poppet,” Ashley smiled, causing Daisy to hop off her chair and run upstairs to her room.

“So are you going to tell me why he wants to know you got home safely?” Will asked.

“I saw him last night.” Ashley whispered.

“So Holly doesn’t exist?”

“I didn’t tell you, because I knew it would make you angry,” Ashley explained.

“Well how do you think it makes me feel that you lied to me?”

“He invited me for dinner, it was just two old friends having a catch up, nothing more than that.” Ashley assured him.

“I don’t know whether I believe you.” Will huffed.

“Will I promise you, nothing happened, we ate dinner, talked about old memories, that's it.”

“Fine, if that's the truth, I believe you. Just don’t go doing stuff behind my back again.”

#harry #BEST FRIEND HARRY #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #one direction #harry styles one shot #one direction memes #golden music video #harry styles lockscreen #harry styles layout

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let-it-raines · 5 years

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Rising From The Ashes (Ch. 4)

Summary: When her husband died, Emma wasn’t sure that she could ever move on. He left her with a broken heart and a baby who was only three-months old. It’s enough to take most people down, to make them not want to keep going, but Emma Swan isn’t most people. She’s stronger than she has any right to be. And after years of heartache, she’s found ways to move on…one of those being in Neal’s best friend, Killian Jones. As she’s always known, however, things are more complicated than they ever seem to be.

Rating: Mature

A/N: I honestly love writing this story because of things I’m having to weave together, but I’m not going to lie, I love how you guys react :D

Double “-/-” around flashback!

AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Tag list: @resident-of-storybrooke @captainsjedi @captswanis4vr @teamhook @ekr032-blog-blog @mayquita @bmbbcs4evr @wellhellotragic @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @shady-swan-jones @snowbellewells @snow-into-ash @andiirivera @mariakov81 @thejollyroger-writer @shireness-says @kristi555 @facesiousbutton82 @superchocovian

“So I’m really into trains right now,” Henry tells Neal, showing off the set he’d gotten for his eighth birthday last month while they all sit in the living room and attempt to have a normal conversation that’s not full of awkward silences and pauses after someone finishes talking.

Neal is sitting in their living room talking to his son. It’s beautiful. It’s wonderful, really. Neal deserves to get to know Henry, and Henry sure as hell deserves to get to know Neal. Killian just thought this would never happen. Neal was dead. He was never coming back, and yet he did. He came back.

He’s here.

It’s a miracle if Killian has ever seen it. His mate is back from the dead, and he’s getting to spend time with his son.

His mate is back, and he gets to spend time with all of them. With Emma. With him. It’s a reunion in every sense of the word, and as happy as he is, as happy as he can be, he still feels a little sense of dread every time he looks at Neal. That’s not something he’s ever really felt before, even when Neal was suggesting idiotic plans on a night out.

Killian’s starting to think that he may never come up with a solution that’s not going to hurt someone when it comes to their new family situation. And as much as he doesn’t want to be the person who takes the pain, who is the one who gets hurt the most, he’d suffer so Emma can be happy. It might be the worst decision of his life, but all he wants is Emma’s happiness.

Even if it kills him.

He wants Neal’s happiness too. Neal is getting a second chance at life, and he should get to be happy. After what he’s been through, he deserves the world.

But right now Killian and Emma are still together. Things might not be normal, but neither of them have made any sort of move to end things. Bloody hell does he not want to end things. He knows that when their lives calm down, when they get Neal back into a regular schedule and life, he and Emma will have time to actually talk about things, more than just yesterday at the kitchen table for five minutes while Henry was distracted with TV and Ada was eating. Right now, though, their focus is on their children and on Neal. Not on them.

As important as his relationship is to him, it’s not a pressing matter right now.

Which is exactly why Neal is set up in their guest bedroom as of this morning and is currently spending time with Henry. In a move that he absolutely did not like, they had to tell Henry that he couldn’t talk about Ada, not yet. His boy is a brilliant lad, so he’d gotten the most incredulous look on his face, and Killian had lied to him about the reasoning, stating something about it being a surprise for later. It felt as if lead had dropped in his stomach.

They’re doing what they have to do, though. They’re getting through this. They’ll let Henry spend time with Neal while Mary Margaret discreetly watches Ada in the kitchen where Neal hasn’t been, and after Henry and Neal have had some time together, Killian and Emma will take the plunge and tell him how life has changed since he’s been gone.

They’re not going to hide their child, not permanently, but they have to if just for a little while to do what’s best for Neal.

If he’s been alive this entire time, he has to have known that things would change, that life wouldn’t stand still. That’s not how things work. Even when you don’t want the earth to keep rotating and revolving, it does.

There’s no stopping it.

Ripping off the band-aid, he’d said yesterday when talking to Emma at the kitchen table and again before they’d gone to bed. It’s easier than living a lie, living in secret, and it’s what they have to do. For all of the confusion, the one thing he knows that he and Emma agree on completely is the fact that their children come before anything else.

Without a doubt.

They are the only part of this that are not complicated, even if it doesn’t seem that way now. Hell, they’ve got their son lying and Mary Margaret hiding their daughter in the other room. She’s been fussy lately, so Emma didn’t want her out of the house, especially since they usually all spend their mornings together playing with her before he goes to work. And they wanted Mary Margaret around to help with Henry while they talk to Neal since they’re not exactly expecting the smoothest of sailings. Nothing bad, really. They just know it’ll be shocking for him.

So maybe the kids are a bit complicated for today, but it’ll get better. It’ll get better, and they’ll all adjust. Things take time.

“I liked boats before that,” Henry continues, moving his train across the coffee table, “but then my friend Avery rode on a train that went under the ocean, and I thought that was super cool. Plus, Mary Margaret had us read about them during reading time.”

“He’s always getting into new things,” Emma helpfully supplies, and her hand reaches for his, their fingers touching before she suddenly pulls back, like she’s remembering where they are. “I’m sure by the new year it’ll be airplanes or something.”

“So you’re creative, buddy?” Neal questions, reaching over to ruffle Henry’s hair, and Killian internally cringes, knowing that Henry hates that. But Neal doesn’t know. He has no idea. He’s obviously trying, and they’ll work with him. They have to work with him. That’s the only way this will work. Besides, Neal deserves to know all of the little things his son loves and hates. He deserves to get to be a dad after missing so much.

Killian cannot imagine how it must feel to have missed so much of his child’s life. He doesn’t think he could cope had he missed all of his firsts with Ada, all of the moments, actually. He doesn’t know how he’d cope if he’d missed them with Henry too. Having to go to work is hard enough when Emma sends him videos of Ada completely rolling over or laughing. God, he loves her laugh. It’s like pure joy.

He’d been around when Henry was an infant, but not as much as he wishes he could have been now that he’s been there for nearly everything the past seven or so years. He’d missed all the firsts like the laughs and the smiles, rolling over and crawling and such. He and Emma had been close but not close like they grew to be. So in a way he did miss several big moments in Henry’s life too, and he does deeply wish that he’d been around on the day that Emma heard Henry giggle for the first time. The first time he heard Ada…he can’t even describe it, and if he could change some things, he’d have been around for absolutely everything for Henry too.

“Yeah,” Henry answers, patting down his hair until it lays in weird patterns on his head, “I like a bunch of different stuff. Daddy bought me a new storybook for my birthday, too, and I can write my own stories in it. I wrote one the other day about a train that can fly. But it’s different than an airplane.”

He feels Emma’s entire body tense next to his, and when he dares look over at her, he can see tears already streaming down her face while her hand messes with the pendant on her necklace. He wants to wipe them from her cheeks, but he can’t. Instead he quickly squeezes her knee before looking over at Neal who looks confused, his brows knitted together and his lips pursed even if Killian swears that he saw a flash of anger at first glance.

He's not sure of anything, though, not with the way his heart is absolutely pounding in his chest. Maybe they should have asked for a doctor to be here as well.

For when he inevitably has some kind of heart attack.

“What are you talking about Henry? How could I have bought you a book?”

“You didn’t. My daddy did.”

“Henry, I’m your daddy.”

“No,” Henry laughs, and Killian would step in if his voice was working right now, if he could focus on something besides the pounding in his head and in his heart. They should have realized this would happen. How did they not? They thought about him talking about Ada, but they never thought about him calling Killian daddy in front of Neal. Shit. He thought they’d thought of everything, thought they’d worked out how to do this in the short time that they had to work through things, but Henry’s obviously decided to speed things along. The damn psychiatrist and all of those specialists have not helped this transition at all. “You’re my dad. He,” Henry says as he points to Killian, “is my daddy.”

“Henry,” Emma croaks, her voice breaking, “why don’t you go in the other room and ask Mary Margaret for something to eat, okay?”

“Okay. Do you think I can have some chicken nuggets even though it’s the morning?”

“Yeah, kid, sure. Whatever you want.”

Henry walks out of the room without a care in the world, waving at Neal with this giant smile on his face before leaving. To be so young and innocent. It’s a wonderful blessing.

“Emma,” Neal grits, his jaw ticking while his fist continuously clenches and unclenches. It’s a sign of anger management that Killian saw time and time again when he was going through therapy after his first deployment. “Why did he just say that Killian is his father?”

Emma looks to him, her eyes bright with both shed and unshed tears, and he simply nods, trying to force the tight smile on his face into a comforting one. His heartbeat is irregular, his face heating up, and he’s sure that the entire neighborhood can hear it. It’s as loud as a drum beating in his ears.

“Neal,” Emma hesitantly begins, a gulp visibly moving through her throat while her hand shakes, “I…we have something to tell you, and I don’t know how you’re going to take it.”

“What is it, Ems? Because if it’s just that Henry thinks Killian is like a father figure, that’s great. He’s his godfather anyways. I just think it’s a little weird that he calls him daddy. I feel like that’s something that has to be taught and encouraged.”

-/-

“Daddy,” Henry yells, running toward him and wrapping his arms around his legs, the force nearly knocking Killian back as he walks in the front door. “Momma has a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?” he laughs, picking Henry up and absolutely ignoring the way he just called him daddy. That has never happened before, but if he didn’t have a lanky five year old on his hip, he’d probably cry from the affection and confusion of it all. “What could Mummy possibly have to surprise me?”

“It’s a secret, so I can’t tell you.”

“Ah,” he sighs, nodding his head as he walks them back into the house and to the kitchen where he can hear Emma moving around. What the bloody hell is she doing in the kitchen? They’re supposed to go out to dinner tonight. “So I’ll just have to wait to find out then.”

“Happy birthday,” Emma greets when he and Henry walk into the room. She steps away from where she’s icing a cake and moves toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck before she slants her lips over his. She tastes of sugar, and he absolutely cannot wait to explore that a little more later. Once Henry is in bed. The lad needs to go to sleep early tonight. He won’t, but a man can wish. It is his birthday after all.

“Hmm, thank you, my love,” he tells her, kissing her one more time until he pulls back and looks at Henry who’s got the most mischievous smile on his face. “Young Master Henry tells me that you have a surprise for me.” “I do,” she smiles, her eyes lighting up while she falls back on flat feet, her height drastically changing as she moves back over to their counter. “Because you, my sweet man, are now thirty-five, I’ve made you a cake. And it’s edible too. I know because I had David help me.”

“So I should thank David for this creation?”

“Probably. But that’s not the only surprise.” He raises an eyebrow. What has she been planning? When has she even had time to plan? The end of the school year is a busy time for her. She’s been running herself into the ground trying to get all of those seniors to graduate.

“Really now?”

“Mhm,” she hums. “Henry, baby, why don’t you go get it?”

Henry squirms in his arms until Killian puts him down, his long legs running into the other room. God, he’s really gotten big. He’s got to stop growing up. He’ll be six this year, and no part of Killian is okay with it. He wants time to stop ticking by him because he’s more upset about Henry turning six than he is upset about him officially being in his mid-thirties as of this morning.

“Darling, you really didn’t need to go through all of this fuss.”

“Nonsense. You always do it for us. Why shouldn’t we do it for you?”

“Because you don’t have to.” He walks over to her and wraps his arm around her waist, dipping his head and kissing her again. “I love you, Swan.”

“I love you too, babe.”

“Shhh, shhh,” he hears Henry say, and for a brief moment he wonders if Emma really went out and bought a dog for them, but then he sees familiar blue eyes and curly hair that definitely don’t belong to a dog.

Liam.

Bloody hell. Liam is here.

“Happy birthday, little brother,” Liam wishes, a bright smile on his face. He can’t believe this. He can’t believe Emma flew his brother here from London just for his birthday.

“Younger, you ponce,” Killian laughs, stepping away from Emma and walking over to Liam, wrapping him up in a hug, feeling immediate warmth when Liam’s arms wrap around his shoulders. “What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

Liam pats him on the back a few times before pulling back and clapping him on the shoulder. “Your lovely lady called me a few weeks ago and asked if I could manage to fly across the pond to see you. And how could I pass up seeing you as well as my favorite little man?”

“That’s me, right?” Henry asks, standing on his toes and scrambling so he can be closer to eyelevel with he and Liam.

“Of course that’s you,” Liam promises, squatting down to Henry’s level. “You did such a good job helping me.”

“Thank you.”

Killian lets Liam and Henry talk before walking back over to Emma and wrapping his arms around her waist again, burying his face in her hair and kissing along her jaw, only increasing his efforts when she squeals. “I bloody love you,” he growls into her ear, biting down on the lobe the slightest bit, “and I absolutely cannot wait to get you alone tonight so that we can celebrate my birthday in private.” “Yeah?” Emma giggles, twisting in his arms.

“Most definitely. You have plans for me, and I, darling, have plans for you.”

“I’m amazed that you guys are able to live with a child,” Liam laughs, walking over to them with his hands over Henry’s ears, “because you are not subtle at all.”

“Don’t be jealous, Liam,” Emma teases, pulling back from him and swiping her finger through the icing on the cake. “I’m sure we will spend plenty of time with you too. Though I do suggest you run to the Walgreens around the corner and gets some earplugs. Your room shares a wall with ours.”

Later, after they’ve gone out to dinner with everyone – David, Mary Margaret, and Leo joining them at the restaurant – and he’s spent some time with Liam, catching up on everything, he and Emma are lounging in bed. He’s exhausted but sated. Though, if Emma keeps running her foot up and down his calf like she’s doing, he’ll be ready and willing for another round soon enough.

Who says he’s an old man? He has stamina.

“Have you had a good day?” she asks, her finger curling his chest hair until she releases it and moves onto another patch.

“Aye, wonderful,” he promises, patting her back before sliding his hand down and lightly tapping her ass, squeezing the firm skin in a way that makes Emma giggle. “You are wonderful. You know that?”

“I do, but I like to be reminded in ways other than my son giving me gifts he made in school that say that.”

Emma kisses his chest, just above his heart, and his breath hitches. He’s got to talk to her about what happened when he got home. “Darling, I need to talk to you about something.”

All of her movements stop and she pulls back, sitting up in bed and pulling the blanket around her shoulders, closing herself into a ball. “What?”

“When I got home today, uh,” he reaches up to scratch behind his ear, “Henry called me daddy.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, and, like, I’m fine with it. I have no qualms. I’ve always thought of Henry like he was my son, I love him like that, but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with it. This is all totally up to you of how we want to go about this.”

“Babe, you’re Henry’s parent too. You know that, right? It might not be legal or biological or whatever, but that doesn’t matter. You love him. He loves you. It’s…you’ve been a dad to him for almost his entire life, and if he wants to call you daddy, he should be able to. I know that you’re in this for the long haul, that you’re not going to leave us.”

“But what about – ”

“Neal.”

“Yeah.”

“Of course I wish that Neal were here to be Henry’s dad, but he’s not. And he’s not coming back. And honestly, if there was anyone in the world who Neal would want to help take care of Henry, it’d be you.”

“So you don’t think we should ask him not to call me that?”

“No,” Emma sighs, leaning forward and cupping his cheeks with her palms, “we shouldn’t. When he’s older and can understand a little better, we’ll explain things to him. But, Killian, you are his daddy. You are.”

“Daddy,” he repeats, trying to weigh the words on his tongue. He’s obviously feeling bold tonight because he asks something he’s been hoarding away for months now. “Love…do you ever…would you…”

“Yes.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to ask.”

“You’re going to ask if I ever think about having another baby. With you preferably.” He chuckles, all of the happiness of today settling comfortably in his stomach. “Yeah, the with me part is pretty big. So do you?”

“Yeah,” she smiles, and he’s continuously blown away with how beautiful she is, with how much he loves her, “I do. I want to, actually. I feel like…I feel like it’s right for us, you know? We should have kids. Henry should have a sibling. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. I just…I want it. With you. More than I can even describe.”

He tugs Emma back down on top of them, letting her chest land on his and their legs tangle together while he caresses her cheek, looking into her eyes and hoping that she can see just how much he loves her. “Emma Swan, I would love to make a baby with you one day.”

“Do you want to practice a little more because I have to get my implant – ”

He doesn’t let her finish, bringing her lips down to his and sliding them over hers in a kiss that is a hell of a lot sweeter than the icing that was on his birthday cake.

Thirty-five might be his favorite birthday.

-/-

It’s not really something that has to be taught, but Killian’s not dumb enough to say that out loud. Kids are pretty intuitive, and they can figure out a lot of things on his own. Killian’s still not sure what prompted Henry to call him “daddy” for the first time. He’s not sure if someone at his school accidentally mistook Killian for Henry’s father, not knowing the situation, or if maybe the kids in his kindergarten class asked about it. Honestly, it could have been a million little things, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. He is Henry’s dad just as much as Neal is.

He wants to say more than, but that’s not fair to Neal. Not at all. It’s not his fault that he hasn’t been around.

“No, um,” Emma stutters, biting her bottom lip, “that’s not it.”

“Fuck, Ems,” Neal groans while his fists still move, fingers fidgeting. “Just tell me.”

They shouldn’t have done this yet. They should have given Neal more time. He’s only been home from…wherever he was, the details still unclear even to him, for a month. And he’s only been in their house for a day. For less than a day. Only for a few hours. They were at least going to give him this morning, give him a moment to breathe, but plans never stick.

They weren’t going to have Henry just blurt out the news.

“Henry calls Killian daddy because to him, Killian is his daddy,” Emma explains, fidgeting her fingers on her knees. “He’s known about you for awhile, since we felt like he was old enough to understand, and he knows that Killian isn’t his biological father, that you are. But he just kind of started calling Killian that when he was five, and Killian and I agreed that it was okay. And, um,” she gulps, and at this point he can’t not touch her, so he reaches over and twines their fingers together, squeezing her hand and letting her know that it’s all okay, letting her know that she can stop fidgeting, that she can do this. As soon as their fingers interlock, however, Killian sees a flash of confusion flicker across Neal’s eyes before his jaw ticks and his teeth obviously grind, his knuckles going white.

“My kid calls Killian daddy because you’re together,” Neal finishes for Emma, and he feels the lead in his stomach grow heavier. Can he really be this weighed down by his own guilt? Should he even really be this guilty?

“We, um,” Killian begins, trying to take some of the weight off of Emma since he knows she must be drowning in it, somehow more than him, “we also have a daughter together. Her name is Ada, and she’ll be five months old tomorrow.”

“So what?” Neal darkly chuckles, his hand reaching up to rub at the hairs on his chin, “you knocked her up and then tried to be together? Just because you guys fucked up doesn’t mean you have to try to be in a relationship. Also, what the hell man? You slept with my wife? You better have been drunk or something because damn, that’s messed up. I never would have slept with Milah, and she was smoking hot, which was probably why she so easily cheated on you in the first place.”

Anger pulses through his entire body, and while he knew that this would be hard, that there would be no way Neal was immediately accepting of this, he didn’t expect such vile remarks thrown at them. First, that he implied that he and Emma had to be intoxicated to sleep together. Yes, they first kissed while drunk, but they also put a stop to it. They’re together because they love each other, and he didn’t knock Emma up. It was a planned choice. Neal speaks like he owns Emma, and he doesn’t. No one owns Emma, and she can make her own damn choices. The Milah thing stings, Neal throwing his past scars in his face, but he’s in no way pissed about that. Neal has just insulted his character, his love, and his child. He will not stand for it no matter what Neal has been through.

“Neal,” Killian grits, his teeth practically grinding to dust and his hand holding onto Emma’s so tightly that he hears her whine in pain before he releases her, “I understand that you’ve been through a lot, more than we can understand, but you can’t talk to us that way. It’s a difficult situation, but it’s not going to help if we’re throwing insults at each other.”

“You fucked my wife, dude. How am I supposed to respond to that? A fucking gift basket.”

“First of all,” Emma sneers, her voice clipped and concise as her hands tremble, “there are children in the other room, children who do not need to hear all of this, especially the language you’re practically screaming. Secondly, Neal, none of this is ideal. Not a bit of it, but things happened. I lived a life that made me happy. We thought you were dead, and somehow you’re alive. Shouldn’t that be our main focus?”

“It’s kind of hard to focus on that right now. I spent years dreaming of coming home to you and Henry, Ems. And I finally get to, and that fantasy is destroyed. I wanted to be a family. Can’t we be a family again?”

Neal’s voice breaks, tears beginning to stream down his face, and Emma looks at Killian, sorrow and anger mixed in a storm in her eyes, before patting his hand and going to squat next to Neal, rubbing her hand up and down his back in soothing circles as she whispers quietly in his ear, Neal nodding his head up and down before he twists and sobs into Emma’s shoulder, his eyes flickering up to Killian for a brief moment.

But not brief enough that Killian doesn’t notice a flash of…something there.

He could punch a wall, break his hand, and not at all be sorry about it right now for the storm that’s raging inside of him, one that he knows is much darker than the one he saw in Emma’s eyes.

This is going to be hell.

#rising from the ashes #cs ff #cs fic

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doctor-who-hears-a-horton · 6 years

Text

A New Holiday (Ten x Rose)

Rating: General

(Reminder that every piece of fanart made for me, I post. I was given a couple back when I was on Wattpad and I always post them!)

Read it on AO3 here!

Rose convinces the Doctor to go to an American Thanksgiving with her, and he takes her to a place where he knows she'll have a good time.

Note: In 2015 I wrote this, and I kept thinking about it, since today is Thanksgiving, so I thought I'd revamp it (add 900 words) and fix my mistakes to make it better and even fluffier! I hope you guys enjoy it! happy birthday to Doctor Who and Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate!

**********

She grinned happily at him and threw her arms out. "Thanksgiving!"

His face was disbelieving at best. He glared at her from around his side of the console, leaning one elbow down on it so he could look closely at her. "Really, Rose? All of time and space, literally anything in the universe, and you want to go to celebrate an American holiday?"

Instead of glorifying that particular remark with a response, she nodded, biting her tongue. Then she decided to glorify it with a response anyway, because she really wanted to convince him. "You know, Doctor, you're the one who always wants to get us involved in different cultures. This one just happens to be American."

"But all they do is eat and watch sports that day!" He whined. "There is absolutely nothing interesting about Thanksgiving."

She furrowed her brows at him and took a step closer to him, "And they spend time with the people they care about most, and remember how lucky they are to have them." She said it with a raise of her eyebrows that seemed to make her point quite clear.

The Doctor had nothing to say to that, because of course, he knew exactly what she was getting at, and it turned out that he would very much like to spend time with her if they went to a Thanksgiving dinner. He sighed, pretending to be put out. "Yeah, alright," he said, and started flipping levers.

"You've never done Thanksgiving, have you?" She asked, grinning up at him.

"No," he replied, "I've never... I've never seen a need for it."

"And now?" She tilted her head, creeping around to his side of the TARDIS.

He looked up at her and nodded slightly, not edging away from her. His eyes were earnest when he nodded again, more defined this time. "Now," he said firmly.

She bit her lip and nodded back at him, turning away slightly. Usually, after the Doctor said something particularly sweet, she needed to give him space, or he would get spooked and bolt towards the library. "So!" She spun back around, farther away from him now, and smiled at him, "Do you know anyplace good to celebrate Thanksgiving?"

The Doctor made a non-committal sound in the back of his throat. "You know, I think I'll leave it a surprise, but trust me, I'm sure you'll like it."

"You're that sure?" She asked.

"Oh, Rose Tyler, if I know anything about you, it's places I'm certain you'll like," he said, and he sounded so confident in it that Rose couldn't bring herself to tease him about it. So, she sat herself on the jump seat and watched him pilot them to their destination, trying not to stare, and thinking about how thankful she was to have him.

***

After a not-so pleasant landing, the Doctor insisted Rose get her coat, which, she didn't fail to notice, looked like a black, feminine cut version of his Janis Joplin coat. Keeping that particular thought to herself but still smiling, she did up some of the buttons and subconsciously reached for his hand. He reached for hers right back and laced their fingers together, moving to give her his very best pinball grin. She returned it, sure she looked just as ridiculous as he did.

"Now, here we are," the Doctor said, bouncing on the balls of his feat as they exited the TARDIS, him pulling her along. "Your Thanksgiving. Oddly enough, it doesn't ever go away. The tradition lives on until the Earth burns, and even when the humans split across the universe, there are still bits of it interwoven into society." He waved his hand about a little bit in the air. "All that... Joy you humans get from eating and spending time together, as you put it... It never really goes away."

Rose listened to his commentary as she took in all of the bits of futuristic Earth, cold but thrumming with activity, people with rosy cheeks strolling about and laughing together. It struck her as odd how excited everyone was to sit down and eat, though she knew there was so much more behind it than just eating. Did they even realize it any more, or were they past it?

"So you never answered me, Doctor," she said casually, swinging their hands just a bit, "Where are we?"

"Why don't you tell me?" he asked her, and she all but rolled her eyes, knowing that he would say something like that. The Doctor really did love to go about things the roundabout way.

"Earth," she said decisively, as she looked around at everything. "Not New Earth, we've only just been there. So obviously, just plain old Earth. America."

"Brilliant," he said, a giant grin on his face. "Go on."

"We're in the future, you can tell by the way everything's built, the structure of the buildings and stuff, right? But I just don't know what century." She looked at him pointedly, telling him she didn't want to guess any more.

"Excellent work," the Doctor said enthusiastically, pride showing through in his voice. He tugged her closer to his side and turned her down to a more scenic road, though the houses were nowhere near suburbia. She admired the amount of big windows and shocking white siding, tucking her head against his shoulder. It was all so beautiful, to say the least.

"Are you going to answer me?" Rose asked patiently, jostling his shoulder playfully after a moment of him not answering her.

"You're almost right on the button," the Doctor said finally as he pulled her up to a nearly gaudy looking house and rang the doorbell soundly. "Rose Tyler, welcome to 51st Century Earth."

"Wait... 51st Century?" Rose's eyes lit up with recognition, and the door flew open, revealing a very excited looking Jack Harkness.

"I could smell it in the air!" He exclaimed, sweeping Rose into a hug that made her wrench her hand from the Doctor's, much to his upset. She giggled and clung to his neck, closing her eyes, reveling in being near her friend again. He dropped her to the ground, kissing her firmly on the mouth before releasing her, making her giggle. "Let me look at you," he said, squeezing her waist.

"Look the same as I did before, Jack," she rolled her eyes at him, even though she had sorely missed his teasing and happy personality.

"No, you've got a better haircut now," he tweaked her ear and turned to the Doctor. "And a better date. Hi, Doc."

Even the Doctor couldn't resist smiling at seeing his old friend. The two men shook hands and the Doctor nodded. "Hello, Jack. It's good to see you."

The two of them shook hands, Jack beaming wildly. He clapped his hands together once he pulled away. "Alright, we're just getting ready to eat, and I assumed somebody would be showing up, just knowing how you are and how Rose is. There's plenty to eat."

Rose hopped a little in place, and Jack ushered them in, taking their coats and sending them off to the table. The table was not occupied by Jack's family, but instead by plenty of his friends, men and women, alien and human. It was a large table, and Rose was instantly accepted into the fold. The Doctor was already well known in most circles, and the two of them found seats next to each other as Jack took the head of the table.

"Now," Jack addressed everyone at the table after everyone started settling down. "All of you say something you're thankful for, and then we'll eat all this stuff."

The people at the table all chuckled at Jack's frankness. All of them, whom the Doctor had assumed would be superficial people, said they were thankful for people, or love, or something else with so much depth that it surprised the Doctor. Maybe people weren't be judged on their time and place, and 51st Century people were not as shallow as he had previously thought.

It was the Doctor's turn all too quickly, and he found that he didn't have to think very hard about what he was thankful for. He reached over and took Rose's hand under the table. She gave him a surprised look as he met her gaze. He smiled softly. "I'm thankful that I have Rose Tyler with me."

The smile that lit her face could've set any Christmas tree ablaze. "I'm thankful the Doctor came back to ask me to come with him a second time."

The two of them sat, grinning like idiots for a moment, before Jack cut in. "That's so sweet," he drawled, though he really was very pleased that the two of them were being so affectionate with each other. "I'm thankful for all of you spending the holiday with me. Go ahead, everyone, eat up!"

Reluctantly, the Doctor relinquished Rose's hand to eat the very classic Thanksgiving dinner that had been put together. Soon, everyone at the table was talking like they had been friends for years, including Rose, who told stories about their adventures, and everyone stopped only when dinner and dessert were eaten and somebody let out a cry of delight.

"It's snowing!"

Rose practically burst out of the house with everyone else, wanting to see the snow that wasn't ash, and she stood with the rest of the guests in the middle of the street, coat forgone to feel every bit of the moment, no matter how cold.

The Doctor followed her at a slower pace, unable to keep from watching her. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes alight with excitement. She had just finished spinning with one of the women they'd eaten with and had her arms outstretched into the flurry. Pretty much unable to stop himself, he went to her and caught her hands before pulling her into a waltz through the street.

He hummed loudly to her and, catching the tune, she picked it up, and they were doing very well until they started giggling, and she tipped her head forward onto his chest. She could feel him laughing, and almost protested his release of her before his hands came up to cup her cheeks and tilted her head so she could look at him in the face. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs and gazed down at her, his eyes more open then she'd ever seen them.

"I meant it," he said, "I don't know what I'd do without you. I am... Very thankful for you, Rose Tyler."

"Me too," She said softly, her hands slowly lifting to grip his jacket at the waist.

Without saying anything else, he lowered himself to kiss her. They wrapped their arms around each other, holding against the cold. After several perfect seconds, they broke apart slowly, their foreheads pressed together before she leaned back in to kiss him again, this time, tangling her hands in his hair. He pulled her closer against him, daring himself to open his mouth against hers. She squeezed her eyes shut tighter and held him closer, curling her fingers and wishing the moment would never end.

Unfortunately, it did, because she had to breathe, but she pulled him into a hug instead, needing to have him close.

"Stay with me?"

"Course. Forever."

"Well, it's about time, honestly," Jack said as he approached them, his arms crossed, but a huge smile on his face. "They might as well get married now."

Neither the Doctor and Rose heard. They were far too busy holding each other.

#tenrose #ten x rose #tenxrose #ray lu writes fic #raylu writes fic #tenth doctor #rose tyler #thanksgiving #holiday fic #fanfic

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themagnusbane · 7 years

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This for the ever beautiful, ever awesome, most amazing brilliant doctor out there @mbanewood. Happy Birthday Vall hun. I hope you have a blast and joy this drabble. It’s got two of your fav tropes, and I hope you like it.

"So what? You're just going to leave me tied up here?"

Demons, always so talkative, especially when you had them bound by their feet and their hands and magically constrained to the wall. They really didn't do well with being immobile, something that had been to his advantage several times over during the course of numerous negotiations.

This demon however had nothing Magnus wanted and had been too much of a bother to the downworlders in his territory that he'd had to step in. Although you won't know it by looking at said demon. A Shapeshifting demon that had taken the form of a sweet old man, who liked giving candy to kids, before abducting them and draining them dry.

The clave had initially blamed it on the vampires—not like that had come as a surprise. Those moronic idiots always came up with a knee-jerk response to everything without verifying their facts or even attempting to think outside the box—and Magnus had had to step when word on the street had pointed towards a demon with a taste for young blood.

"Leave you tied up?" Magnus let the corner of his mouth tip upwards in a dark smile. He chuckled and rubbed his fingers, checking for any chip in the polish and nodding to himself when he confirmed that it was still the pristine black it had always been. "Why would I do that, when I can make you suffer?" He cocked his head and looked pityingly at the demon. "Leaving you to rot will be merciful. As would sending you back to hell. What I intend to do to you will be so much worse."

He spun around on his heels and made to leave when the demon spoke. "You truly are like him."

Magnus drew to a halt, fingers flexing, throat tightening as he slowly turned around to meet the eyes of the demon that was smiling at him. "Like whom?"

"Asmodeus. Your father."

Magnus snarled, curling his fingers so his magic tightened around the demon's neck, stopping the barrage of words as the demon choked on them. "I am nothing like him," he gritted.

That just got him a scornful laugh that reverberated all over his loft, echoed in all the hidden corners and crevice. A laugh that sounded so familiar, that inky black feeling he'd only felt once in his life, crawled down his back, chilling him to the very bone. That didn't sound like the shapeshifting demon struggling to break out of the hold of his magic, and unsurprisingly failing at it. No that sounded like Asmodeus himself.

Magnus whipped around and stared at the demon bound to the wall, body splayed over it with arms extended and legs pointing downwards. "What did you do," he hissed.

The demon grinned, "Your father sends his regards."

Magnus' eyes flashed gold, his vision narrowing, feeling the last of the glamour he'd placed on his eyes fall away. The magic thrummed inside of him, seeking for something to lash out at.

He heard a chuckle and focused on the demon grinning at him. "You even have his eyes. Truly, you are your father's son."

The last of his control snapped and he snapped his fingers, watching disinterested as the demon released a loud keening sound, a long drawn out wail before exploding and dissolving into ash that evaporated before it could stain his carpet. "I am nothing like him."

He heard the last strains of the demon's thoughts as it faded out of his existence, a need to have the final word. "Keep telling yourself that, son of Asmodeus. Keep telling yourself that."

Magnus slowly sank into his chair, taking in deep breaths as the last vestige of his interaction with the demon faded away. He snapped his fingers and reached for the single malt scotch that appeared on the end table beside him. As he brought the drink to his lips, he whispered to himself. "I am nothing like him."

#shadowhunters fics #sh fic #magnus bane #shadowhunters #shadowhunters fanfiction #my writing #once again happy birthday Vall #I hope this week of celebration kicks ass #and that you like this mini-drabble #mbanewood #latinalightwood #maiabaneway #malecisright #lukegarrowayisamaincharacter #mel-iorn

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anndanangand · 7 years

Text

Attack on Titan fanfiction

A/N: This is my first fanfiction in this fandom so I'm still getting a feel for writing these characters. So please forgive me if the characters are too OOC or if I've made mistakes. I will be posting this on fanfiction.net as soon as I can. Please tell me what you think and I hope you enjoy this. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He had been standing outside the barracks for a while now, the younger boy mused as he watched from the entrance of the building. Somehow, the usually alert boy had missed his presence completely. Armin frowned in concern as he studied the ash-haired teenager's slumped posture. Jean had not moved in the ten minutes that Armin had been watching him and it was obvious that the older teen had been there for a lot longer than that. As if he heard the blond's thoughts, the older boy sat down on the steps, still not noticing the small figure observing him. It as then that Armin noticed the small piece of paper held gently and reverently in Jean's hands. The boy was studying the sheet intensely and then, as he stared at his back, the brunette sighed and folded up the paper carefully. Then, much to Armin's surprise and concern, he bowed his head and pressed his face into his hand as his shoulders began to shake. Armin hesitated, knowing that Jean really wouldn't appreciate anyone observing his weakness. But he just could not find it in himself to just walk away and leave his grieving friend all alone. He remembered when Jean didn't shy away from consoling him during that terrible experience as Historia's decoy. Making up his mind, he quietly walked towards Jean and sat down next to him, not touching him but not sitting too far away either. The taller boy didn't seem to notice or care about the other's presence. He didn't lift his face from where it was buried in his right hand, the left still holding onto the piece of paper. Armin gently placed his hand on his friend's knee, not saying a word. He knew sometimes words just could not do enough. The crying continued for what seemed like hours and neither boy said anything, Armin's hand remaining steadfast on the other boy's knee. At some point, an older, larger hand closed around the smaller one, clutching desperately at it. Armin gave the hand a gentle squeeze in response, scooting closer so that their shoulders were touching. At that, the taller boy finally looked up, his cheeks wet and eyes red. The small blond felt his heart tighten in sympathy when he saw the raw grief and pain written openly in the other's eyes. Jean smiled slightly, looking sadder than he had ever looked. That smile broke Armin's heart and without thinking twice about it, he leaned forward to wrap his arms around Jean's neck. "Wha-...? Armin.....", his older friend stammered in surprise, his voice hoarse with tears. "Don't. You look like you need it.", Armin muttered into the older boy's neck, his voice breaking. Jean blinked, then uncharacteristically relaxed into the embrace, wrapping his arms around the small boy and pressing his face into his shoulder. He felt the tears build up again, despite his best efforts to hold then back. Dammit, he thought as the tears won and tumbled down his face into the fabric covering the younger boy's shoulder. Armin felt his shoulder become damp and the older boy's frame shaking and tightened his grip around the his neck and shoulders, feeling his eyes tear up, feeling the waves of sorrow rolling off the brunette. He didn't rub his back or say any comforting nonsense like 'It's okay.' , because he knew it wasn't. And he knew that it wouldn't be in a long time. Nothing was okay in a world of child soldiers, where 15 year olds died horrible deaths and abominations like the titans existed. The tears seemed to slow for a second time that night, but neither boy let go of the other. They just sat there silently, wrapped in each others arms. Armin found himself drifting off, tired after the exhausting day they had had. A voice, so quiet that he would have missed it if it wasn't so quiet around him, startled him into wakefulness. "Today is Marco's birthday. He would have been 17. " The voice cracked at the end, full of tears. Oh God, Armin thought, wide eyed with shock, how could I have forgotten ? No wonder Jean had been so quiet today, he thought with new clarity. Jean continued to speak, his voice breaking every so often. "Everyone says they loved him......... that he was a great person........ but nobody remembered Armin !! No one !!! He deserved so much better than this!!" The voice came out strangled by the end, his distress mounting. After a long time, he continued ,"I miss him. I miss him so much. And it seems like I'm the only one who does." The voice was quiet now, the owner seeming to have run out of tears. Armin gasped, feeling his own eyes welling up. "I'm sorry!! I'm so sorry Jean! Marco....... W-we care Jean. We do love him. We all do. I'm s-s-sorry!!" "I know you did. I'm sorry. The world's all gone to shit. I can't expect everyone to remember his birthday with all the stuff going on all around us everyday. I mean, I can't remember my own birthday sometimes. ", Jean said softly, laughing bitterly at the end. Armin felt even more grief well up in him at the statements. He had cared a hell of a lot about Marco. His death had devastated them all. But still, in all the stress and heartbreak of their lives, he had forgotten this. "We're broken, aren't we Armin ? We're not kids anymore. Hell, I don't think there are kids in this world anymore. Marco made the world seem so bright though. I never had a sibling. He didn't either. I thought we were brothers in all but blood. I never did tell him that. I thought I didn't mean that much to him. But one day, he told me I was like the hot -tempered kid brother he never had. I thought I had found family in the military Armin. And then he was dead a week later. Why can nothing good ever last in my life?", Jean was shaking now, though no tears escaped him. Armin swallowed, feeling a tear escape his eye. He pulled back a little, still not letting go of the older boy and looked at him. "My grandpa once told me that when he was little, that they had a saying, 'It is better to have loved and have lost, than never to have loved at all.' He made your life brighter for that time Jean. You had a brother for three years. Isn't that one beautiful thing that was worth it in this world ?" Jean stared at other boy for a long time before smiling a little. He suddenly laughed, pulling the boy closer to him again. "I always did know you were brilliant. " After some minutes of comfortable silence, the boys were sitting next to each other, Armin leaning tiredly on Jean's shoulder when Jean handed him the piece of paper he had been holding before. Sitting up straighter, the blond carefully opened it up. Three beaming faces stared up at him, joy lighting up their faces. One was a man with freckles and fair hair, a woman with long, sleek black hair and drawn a little away from the two, was a brown haired boy. The people in the beautiful drawing were clearly Marco's parents and Jean. Armin looked at Jean with surprise, waiting for an explanation. He got a sad smile in return. "Not many people knew that Marco could draw. And he was talented. That's one of the things we bonded about. He showed me this one day, said it was family.......the most important people in his life. I planned on giving it back to his parents with his sketchbook and other stuff..... but I just.... couldn't.......I needed something.... to remember him by, you know?" He looked away then, his lip quivering. "You meant a lot to him.", Armin said quietly. "He always believed in you. " "Yes, he always did. You know, I might have lost a brother, but I think.... just maybe...... I found one too?", he said this, sounding hesitant and very unlike the usually loud and brash boy they all knew, not looking the smaller boy in the eye. Armin smiled warmly, feeling fondness bloom in his heart, before squeezing Jean's knee. "Of course you did, you idiot. " Jean wrapped his arm around smaller shoulders, and as the boys sat there, staring up at the starry sky, he looked up at the brightest one up there and smiled ,"Happy birthday bro. I love you. " ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This world is a cruel place, but also very beautiful." Mikasa Ackerman

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londonspirit · 6 years

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One Last Time...

... for this year, that is! (Hopefully they sort their Brexit shit out soon, otherwise I have no clue when I can be back!)

Anyhow, this trip was wonderful, mad and all around fantastic! (the usual then! *grins*)

Flew over with my friend S., and naturally we had a one hour delay to start our vacation (we do have a bad travel karma, me thinks, not the first time). And sadly that was the reason I (again) didn’t managed to meet up with my L, cause she only had about an hour between engagements, and that was exactly the hour our flight was late. (Here’s hope we’ll manage another meet-up soon’ish before she goes back to the States, it’s been too long and I really miss her!)

Upon arrival it was raining! Boo! But after dropping off our luggage and finding us dinner, we didn’t want to go to bed (afternoon flight there, evening arrival) so we decided to have a quick wander around. It had stopped raining which was perfect for a nightly walk. Wow, even wet London is beautiful, and even more so at night. Streets were mostly empty (not empty enough to be scary tho) and we took much longer than expected. Stumbled across filming by the side of the river - there were a few people in safety vests and we were already wondering when one approached us. He told us they were filming in a side alley, and not to worry, we could just walk past but shouldn’t stop. Of course we walked very slowly but we didn’t see much or anyone we knew. It was pretty dark, and all we say was a huge projection into the air. *shrugs* Still curious as to what was filmed there (we went there on the last day but no signs at all). We were in bed way past midnight... (my usual London bed time!)

Monday was HAMILTON DAY! But in the evening - we had the whole morning and early afternoon to explore some more! So we went to Greenwich - by BOAT!! That was soo cool. I’ve taken one of the boats two years ago with Sis but only for a few stops, this time we went all the way. And even thought it’s not cheap (Oyster card does make it a bit cheaper tho), it’s totally worth it - the view from the water is amazing! And since the weather was still not very tourist friendly, we had the entire back to ourselves. I can def recommend it - you see so much from that side. Plus, it’s quick, we were in Greenwich within 15 minutes! Found coffee and walked up that hill to the observatory! The view was foggy but still amazing. And since the coffee didn’t want to go back to the city with us, we wandered inside to find a loo. Did you know that you can go inside and check out a few of the rooms without having to pay? Cause I did NOT! And boy, is it cool inside. Loads to see, and touch, and just perfect for a grey and misty day. We spent 3 hours or so in there, bought souvenirs, checked out the old telescope inside, climbed small stairs, looked at all the time measure methods humanity had invented over the centuries, and had a great time! After that we returned to the hostel to get ready for the evening.

The smile on my face when I saw the Victoria Palace Theatre again was HUGE! I fucking LOVE this place soo much!!! Especially when it’s all lit in the dark! Getting inside was just as smooth as ever! (And this time we even saw the dog, didn’t meet it tho as we arrived and were inside like 2 minutes later, despite a pretty long queue!) Inside we walked around, looked at the Pretty all around and then we went to our seats.

DUDE!!! I had booked a box back in January, but I had no idea that we would’ve had one all to ourselves. It’s just for TWO seats (not four as I expected), and it’s the coolest thing ever! We got us drinks to pass the time (you can only take so many pics of that beautiful stage!), and once again the staff showed why they deserved all the praise! I got us two bottles of cider but since bottles aren’t allowed inside, two of the ushers made sure to fill it all into plastic cups! And when it all didn’t fit into two cups, they held the doors for me to bring it to the box and when I returned for the rest, they were already waiting for me! Those people are the real heroes! And everything with a smile and the loveliest attitude!!!

And when it finally was time, I might have made noises. Being this close (with nobody in front of you, or behind you for that matter), being able to lean forward and chairdance, is the best thing ever!!!

I was a bit sad that we didn’t get Obi or Jason, but Gabriel and Waylon did so well, it didn’t last long. And boy, Mondays are an amazing day to go and see it! Every single soul on that stage was on FIRE!!! (Not sure whether that’s because they have the Sunday to recharge, or because some will have their last performances in the next weeks, but it was WORTH going on a Monday!)

I had booked that because I wanted to see Ash, as people kept raving about him (and I had seen Jam twice now). He did NOT disappoint. His performance differs so much from Jam’s; not in a bad way, no. But he’s so into it, so ... THERE?! More intense?! Can’t really describe it. He’s fantastic. And being this close, seeing all those expressions, the cheek, the sass, the sadness, made this time so much better than the last two times. Ash is incredible and sooo worth seeing! (although I missed the height difference between Jam and Rachelle, Ash is her height.)

I was very happy that we got Giles, cause I’ve fallen fast and hard for his Burr!!! He’s put such a different twist on him, and once you got used to him, he IS Burr. What I love is that you can see all those little physical actions, he’s doing a lot with his body, and also with his face. Small things you miss when you’re further away. A raised eyebrow, a bitten lip, a suppressed grin. GOD, I will miss him soo much!!! There are times when I wanted to hug him and then there were times when I wanted to slap him. He’s such a great actor, and I will fight anyone who says differently!!!!!

As for the rest of the cast, they were brilliant as usual; even though I really had the feeling everyone was giving even more than the 500% they already do!! SO DAMN AMAZING!!! There was a big cheer for “Alexander Hamilton” in the beginning (as it should be), but weirdly NOTHING at the “Immigrants” line!!! O_O That shocked me a bit! I’ve been three times now, and I’ve had a different reactions every damn time! So weird! Yorktown got an in between applause which I never seen/heard! Was very nice. The King got all the laughs, naturally. What else? Oh, so Tarinn and Cleve are basically themselves in costumes on stage: they kept goofing around and grinning like idiots at themselves, which was adorable. And I now know why people are shipping Laurens and Ham - the gazing loving at each other was INSANE!! *lol* Rachel is madly talented but that you already know. That woman’s voice, her acting - GEEZ!! HOW?? So soo good!!! Christine... god, that voice! Melted chocolate, poured over warm coals, making one feel all warm and fuzzy (and very sinful) inside. GUH!! Also: the ensemble blew me away, the perfection they put on that stage (night after night) is MAD!! I found myself watching them more and more, wondering how the human body is capable of the things they do and make it look easy as breathing!! WOW!!!

It was over way too soon, and I even cried in the end. I have no idea where that came from but Rachelle really made me tear up during the last song. Never had that before. (And she’s the only one I’m still not fully convinced with; she’s good but this is NOT the perfect role for her) So yeah, I did my final applause in tears!!!

We stuck around towards the very end, and for the very first time, they let down the safety curtain!!! O_O (They did in the interval as well for a moment).

And then it was stage door time. It’s all well organized and sorted, and we queued up and waited. It wasn’t cold so that wasn’t too bad. Didn’t take long for the first to come out. I didn’t want anything signed, only asked for pics which seemed fine with them all. Although they were all well prepared with sharpies! Kelly is TINY, and so very sweet, and sadly the only one of the girls who came out :-( Waylon was a bit shy, but also very nice. Gabriel was dressed for artic temps which made me giggle. Tarinn and Cleve are... well, Tarinn and Cleve! They’re always goofing around, being super sweet to everyone and really taking their time. Cleve enjoyed being the birthday boy, and wishing him a great one, got me a tight hug! Tarinn smells really good, by the way! *hehe* At some point the security made an announcement. I think he said they were all gone, or nobody wouldn’t come out anymore; we could stay but at our own risk, or something like that. We were at the end of the queue and didn’t catch everything. Since we didn’t have anywhere to go, we stayed. Which was the right thing to do! First Giles came out, and that’s when I got a bit nervous! He’s so good, and I never managed to get a pic with him. He took his time, chatted to everyone and was all around the sweetest. Once he came to us, I told him how incredible he was and how much I loved the Muse Of Fire documentary he did ages ago. I think he blushed a bit ;-p When I asked for a pic, he pulled me real close and thanked ME afterwards!! O_O Hach, he’s amazing!! And then Ash came out as well (lots had left already so we were only a few people). And the silly man did NOT have a pen! The ladies behind us asked if we had one. When I pulled out my assortment of sharpies (three: black, silver and bronze!) I ALWAYS have on me, they laughed so hard. Hey, you can never be prepared enough - as that night taught us!!! Once again, we only asked for pics, and praised him, told him how fab he was, and that we booked a Monday just for him,, which made him laugh. “Heard of me, did ya?” he said, cheeky bugger. But yeah, we did. So we got another really tight pic - that cast is so touchy feely, I swear! I love them all to pieces!!! SO SWEET! He chatted a bit before moving along. We waited a bit longer but that was it so we reluctantly left towards ‘home’. (Once again, it was LATE!)

The next morning we got up early to have one last walk around, and London was gracious and got out the sun and basically summer weather! We didn’t want to leave but sadly we had to. So long, my beautiful! See you next year - in February, for sure. After that... well, that depends on how you get your shit sorted! Once more, a fantastic time was had, with the best company I could’ve wished for! Thank you, S, I know why I love traveling with you - here’s to our next time!!!

#personal #one last London adventure #for this year that is #Hamilton London #west end hamilton #hamilton ldn #london

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