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the-rewatch-rewind · 1 year

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New episode! Script below the break

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I talk about my most frequently rewatched movies after 20 years of keeping track. Today I will be discussing my 37th most watched movie: Act III Communications’ 1987 fantasy adventure comedy The Princess Bride, directed by Rob Reiner, written by William Goldman based on his novel, and starring Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, and Mandy Patinkin.

This is another film like Mary Poppins that I’m not even sure I have to summarize, I feel like it’s so deeply ingrained in popular culture that anyone who is even vaguely familiar with the concept of movies knows Princess Bride. Even if you somehow haven’t seen it, you’ve almost certainly heard it quoted: I mean, it’s got “Inconceivable!” and “As you wish” and “Mawaige” and of course “Hello, my name is Iñigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!” among many many other extremely quotable lines.

But, just in case you’ve forgotten what it’s about, let me explain…No, there is too much. Let me sum up. The Princess Bride is a story being read to a boy (Fred Savage) by his grandfather (Peter Falk) and tells of the beautiful young woman Buttercup (Robin Wright) and her handsome farm boy Westley (Cary Elwes), whose love overcomes a plethora of obstacles, including pirates, kidnappers, eels, cliffs, swords, poison, fire, quicksand, large rodents, a sadistic 6-fingered count, a torture machine, and a prince who wants to marry but also murder Buttercup.

This movie used to be on TV all the time when I was young, so I remember catching bits and pieces of it a lot, but I can’t recall exactly when I first watched it all the way through. The main first impressions I remember are being terrified of the ROUSes (rodents of unusual size) and not really understanding what was going on. But I know I had figured it out and grown to appreciate it well before I started tracking the movies I watched. Once I started keeping track, I saw it once in 2003, once in 2004, twice in 2005, once in 2006, twice in 2007, once in 2008, twice in 2009, and once each in 2012, 2013, 2015, 2017, and 2021: 15 times total.

If you’ve listened to my previous episodes, you may be wondering how on earth I’m going to argue that The Princess Bride is not a romantic film, and the answer is…I’m not. Though there is a lot of non-romantic stuff going on throughout the movie, I think we can all agree that the extremely romantic love between Westley and Buttercup is the main driving force of the story. And that’s okay, I’m not anti-romance simply because I’m aromantic; I’m anti-amatonormativity, the idea that every human wants and needs a long-term romantic partner. And while The Princess Bride is a love story, it is not amatonormative. None of the other characters besides Westley and Buttercup seem to be looking for romance, even though they are extremely well developed and do have clear objectives. Iñigo (Mandy Patinkin) wants to avenge the death of his father; Vizzini (Wallace Shawn) wants power; Fezzik (Andre the Giant) wants to be useful; Count Rugen (Christopher Guest) wants to torture people; and even Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon) only wants to get married so he can start a war over the death of his bride. Granted, not all of these are presented as good objectives, but at no point is it suggested that any of these characters should abandon their quests and instead search for romance. A significant amount of screen time is devoted to loving but platonic friendship, especially the one between Iñigo and Fezzik, which is fun and beautiful. The camaraderie between them and Westley when the three join forces is a major highlight of the film. Of course, it’s all in pursuit of romance (and vengeance), but that doesn’t diminish the strength of their friendship. Obviously no one can deny that a major recurring theme of the film is that true love (which is generally implied to be inherently romantic) is the greatest thing in the world, besides a nice MLT – a mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich – which I assume is that world’s version of cake or garlic bread and Miracle Max is an ace icon, but anyway. My point is that the movie emphasizes that the kind of love between Westley and Buttercup is rare. If you find it, you should hold onto it, but not everybody is going to find it, so don’t sit and wallow in self-pity or despair if you don’t. And this is kind of how I always thought of romance for myself, before I knew that being aromantic was a thing. It would be great if I happened to find it, but if not, there are other things to focus on. So amatonormativity and its consequences – people desperately trying to find a partner, any partner, just to have one; expressions of pity toward single people; etc – really confused me. As did the knowledge, once I figured it out, that most people enjoy romantic movies because of the romance, and not despite it, as I eventually realized I was almost subconsciously doing. Like the kid hearing this story, I tolerate the kissing parts if the rest of the story draws me in enough, which Princess Bride absolutely does. The grandpa telling him “someday you might not mind so much” about kissing rather than something like “someday you will like kissing” was almost certainly not intended to fight amatonormativity, but we can choose to see it that way. The fact that the kid wants to hear about the kissing at the end could be interpreted as “he’s finally growing up and accepting that romance is part of life”; but, it can also be interpreted as, “he’s so into the story that he’ll put up with the kissing at the end so it doesn’t go unfinished,” and that I relate to. I also appreciate that the movie ends with the grandpa saying “As you wish” to his grandson. By echoing the way Westley said “I love you” to Buttercup, the grandfather is implying that those two different kinds of love are equal, refusing to play along with the amatonormative idea that romantic love is far superior to any other form of love.

While I’m sure that a lot of people do watch The Princess Bride at least partly for the romance, I think that unlike many romantic films, the reasons I enjoy it are also the main reasons most other people enjoy it. The script is clever, quotable, and fun; the characters are eclectic and fascinating and perfectly brought to life by fabulous actors; and the tone is unique. Apart from the scenes in the kid’s bedroom, what we’re seeing is not the actual story; we’re seeing what the kid pictures as he’s hearing the story, which is such a cool way to tell it. Everything feels larger-than-life, but in an honest, pure way that makes it feel realistic even in its absurdity. The Princess Bride is a delightful blend of a child’s imagination and an experienced storyteller’s writing skills, and I think that is a major contributor to its enduring popularity, even if most of its fans wouldn’t necessarily articulate it that way. It lives in that elusive space between childhood and adulthood where both children and adults feel at home, and therefore love to revisit. I read the book the movie is adapted from once as a teenager, and I remember being struck by how, even though many of the plot points had changed, the humor and tone were perfectly consistent between the novel and the film, which made it, in my opinion, an extremely faithful adaptation. Of course this makes sense because William Goldman wrote both, and Rob Reiner, the film’s director, was a big fan of the book. But often novel-to-feature-film adaptations get so focused on figuring out how to shorten the story without omitting important plot points that they lose sight of the heart of the original story. That absolutely did not happen here, and that’s a big part of why so many people love this movie. Sure, the plot points are interesting, but we’re really here for the unique comedic tone that was taken directly from the book. Changing the sharks to eels and eliminating the Zoo of Death were no big deal, but trying to tell the story without witty jokes simply would not have worked.

I think of all the movies I’ll be talking about on this podcast, The Princess Bride is the one I’ve watched the most in large groups. Most of my movie watching has been done at home, maybe with a few family members or friends, and I’ve certainly watched this one that way as well, but I remember seeing it several times at big movie night events. While I’ve definitely encountered people who don’t love it and think it’s overrated, most people I know are always up for a Princess Bride rewatch. And because of its wide appeal and quotable script, it’s very fun to see with a big crowd. While I’m too young to have seen it in a theater when it was first released, I did go to a 30th anniversary screening in 2017, which was awesome. My favorite part of that experience was after Buttercup hears that Westley’s ship has been captured by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who famously takes no prisoners, and says, “I will never love again,” a kid sitting behind me muttered, “Well THAT seems a little extreme” and I’ve been laughing about it ever since.

In addition to crowded viewings themselves, just being familiar with this movie in general has been a very social experience. As a teenager who loved old Hollywood and frequently referenced movies most kids my age had never heard of (I know the movies I’ve talked about here so far are fairly well-known, but just wait), it was fun to be able to bring up this one and have most people know what I was talking about for once. A few years ago I got to participate in a Princess Bride script reading with some friends, and I read for Vizzini and a few other minor characters, and it was so fun! I kept losing my place because I was so caught up watching everybody else. The joy of reading this excellent script with other people who also love the movie cannot be expressed in words. Also, a former coworker of mine LOVES this movie, and we used to quote it to each other all the time when we worked together. At one point everyone in our office got these “mood indicators,” which were desk calendar looking booklets where every page had a different emotion and a colorful emoji-style face on it – I guess to give people who approached our desks a heads up on how we were doing that day? I’m not sure how other people used theirs, but this coworker liked to cut out post-it notes in the shape of hair and various props and speech bubbles to add to them, so the ones in our department would quote bits of Princess Bride, mostly parts of the scene when Fezzik keeps rhyming with Iñigo and winding up Vizzini. I’ll post pictures I took of them on Tumblr – have I mentioned that this podcast has a Tumblr? It’s the-rewatch-rewind. The link will be in the show notes. I know most people stopped using Tumblr a while ago but it’s still my favorite social media platform, so that’s where I’ve been putting the transcripts of this podcast.

Anyway, while 15 is a lot of times to watch a movie, it feels like I’ve watched Princess Bride way more than that in the last 20 years, partly because of how frequently it comes up in life. Some films are more memorable than others, and this one leaves a deep impression every time I revisit it, so each viewing feels like multiple. I’m also still noticing new things about it – it took me until writing this episode to appreciate the humor of the man with the extra finger being a count. Obviously, the movie isn’t perfect; it could certainly use more female characters and racial diversity, for a start. But overall I think it deserves its popularity and devoted followers. It’s a well-told story with an excellent sense of humor featuring an ensemble of fascinating characters; what’s not to love?

Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most-rewatched movies! Remember to rate and review, and subscribe or follow on your podcast platform of choice if you’re enjoying this and want to hear more. Next episode will be the first one to feature a movie that was made after I started keeping track, so stay tuned to hear about something a little more recent. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “I don’t have a skull. Or bones.”

#rewatch rewind #princess bride

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watchingspnagain · 2 years

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Rewatching A Very Supernatural Christmas

Welcome to “I Saw Sammy Ganking Pagan Gods: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s3e8: A Very Supernatural Christmas

Once upon a balmy Michigan December, something in a red suit is coming down chimneys and hauling people away. Sam and Dean are on bad Santa’s case, and while they’re at it, Dean is angling for a proper Christmas celebration while Sam is dragging his feet hard at the idea. They visit a sketchy Christmas wonderland, go caroling (they don’t know the words, bless them), and have a beautiful brother moment where they discuss why they each feel as they do about the coming holiday. (Spoiler alert: it’s because it’s gonna be Dean’s last Christmas.) Turns out pseudo-Krampus is a pair of pagan gods masquerading as a middle-aged couple named Edward and Madge, and after a hilarious (and disgusting) torture scene, the boys dispatch them with their own festive decorations. Throughout the episode are interspersed flashbacks to the Christmas when Sam learned the truth about why John is never around, Dean tried to create Christmas for his brother through theft, and Sam gave Dean the amulet that he now never takes off. The final scene of the episode sees present-day Sam giving Dean the best Christmas he can, complete with tree, presents, eggnog, and a football game on the TV while outside snow finally drifts down on Baby.

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

[and we begin:]

Lor:

Christmas with the boys! bounces

Mace:

YAAAAS!

it looks like there’s a bowl of potatoes on the table

Lor:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mace:

festive

Lor:

I was wondering what those were! Oranges?

Mace:

apples, I think?

Lor:

THE TITLE CARD

Mace:

YAS

“up on the rooftop demon seeeeed"

oooh, fix that collar, Sam

Lor:

mrrrrrg Dean in his suit and with his riiiiing

Mace:

YAS

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

LORD those suits are nicely tailored in the shoulders

Mace:

POPPED COLLAR

Lor:

YES

Mace:

YES

Lor:

DEAN you know you've watched Mary Poppins, stop it

Mace:

YEP

Lor:

"yeah, that's crazy." "yeah."

Mace:

HAHAHA

Mace:

SAM SAID LORE EVERYONE DRINK

Lor:

YAAAAS

Mace:

HE SAID IT AGAIN DRIIIINK

Lor:

"santa doesn't have a brother."

Mace:

snork

Lor:

chugs water

"who's childhood are you talking about?"

oooooof

boys

Mace:

“not exactly hallmark memories” dude, those were the best memories Dean has

Lor:

YEP

"a pony" SASSY BABY SAM

Mace:

YAS

learnt it from his brother!dad

Lor:

YES

"because everywhere we go, they get sick of your face" haaaaahahahaha

Mace:

SNORK Jesus, Dean

Lor:

so perfectly twelve

Mace:

YES

Lor:

DRINK AGAIN

Mace:

LORE! DRINK!

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOL

Mace:

“we only came here to watch” HAHAHA

Lor:

Dean's little head shake

Mace:

“ew"

HAHAHAHAHA

Dean’s laugh!

Lor:

"thanks a lot, Dean. thanks for that"

YES

Lor:

"that was Ripple"

Mace:

I love the parallels between adult boys and boy boys

Lor:

YES

Sam drank all the coffee and then later in the flashback Dean gives Sammy the end of the cereal! I never picked up on that one before [Ed: that’s a different episode, of course. But still!]

Mace:

OMG YAS

omg the bong

Lor:

"mr gung-ho christmas might have to blow away santa"

YES

Mace:

YES

Lor:

THE SINGING

Mace:

“jingle my bells"

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Mace:

AND THEY DON’T KNOW THE WORDS

Lor:

THEY DON'T KNOW THE WORDS

Mace:

hilarious and tragic

Lor:

YEP

and then this immediate switch to the beautiful version of the song and the big Christmas living room set up

Mace:

and all these versions of the perfect christmas (both the houses where people get attacked and the pagan gods’ house) look beautiful but are awful, but then at the end Sam & Dean get an on-the-surface shitty christmas that is way more wholesome

YES

Lor:

YESYESYES

Dean's FACE when Sam asks about the wreath

Mace:

Dean’s confused face at the wreath question

YAS

Lor:

and he wants to try to back Sam up but he's got NOTHING

Mace:

YES

my god those SUITS

Lor:

"I know. I was just testing you" pets him

YES

"that we're morons"

Mace:

oh Dean, your pants are on fire

LORE! DRIIINK!!

Lor:

lolololololol

Mace:

SING IT, SAMMY

Lor:

"what will you tell me next? Easter bunny's Jewish?" hush, Dean, you love that Sam knows all these things

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"we were playing Jenga over at the Walshes the other night"

Mace:

“it was yummy”

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

Dean playing on the thing where people are assuming they're gay, I cannot

Mace:

YEP

Lor:

"I sell a lot of wreaths, guys"

Mace:

SNORK

Lor:

"people pay a buttload for this crap"

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

oh Dean

Mace:

yeah, and I love you Sam, but THINK. This is his last Christmas

Lor:

RIGHT?

bc Sam refuses to accept that, I think

Mace:

yeah

oh Sammy.

Lor:

the way Sam's voice breaks on "dead"

Mace:

BOYS. FRAUGHT

Lor:

YES

Mace:

YES

Lor:

the way they just sit there

Mace:

YEP

Lor:

is John's journal thinner than it is later? that's an awesome detail

Mace:

“are monsters real?” and the parallel to losing your Santa innocence

it IS

Lor:

YES

"we have the coolest dad in the world" oh, Dean

Mace:

yeeeeah

Lor:

oh baby Winchesters. it is exactly like that

Mace:

YEP

Jesus, how did they grow up as functioning adults at all?!

Lor:

RIGHT?

it's because Dean is an astounding human

and Bobby

Mace:

YEP

“oh fudge!”

Lor:

YES

awww, Dean wants some peanut brittle

Mace:

aw, let him have some peanut brittle

Lor:

RIGHT?

Sammy's always harshing Dean's desire to take sweets from strangers

Mace:

he IS

stupid salads

Lor:

HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

"see? plastic!"

I luff him

Mace:

snork!

ewewewewew

Lor:

(don't lots of people have good locks on their interior basement doors? because there's likely a shitty door to the outside down there that doesn't lock good? or at all?)

Mace:

(hm. possibly?)

Lor:

see, if you comment on irrelevant things at length, you can not look at the ew

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

stop hurting their heads! that's where all the knowledge and humor lives!

"I guess we're dealing with mr and mrs god. nice to know"

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"don't get all wet"

I love these two

Mace:

YAS

Lor:

"i guess we'll just have to cancel the sacrifice"

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

they DO look darling. but hands off, Madge

Mace:

YAS

Lor:

"times have changed!"

"this Jesus character"

Mace:

“this Jesus character”

YAS

Lor:

YES

Mace:

omg the WINK

Lor:

YES

"oh my goodness me! someone owes a nickel to the swear jar"

Mace:

“I’LL FUDGING KILL YOU”

I LOVE HIM

Lor:

"if you fudging touch me again, I'll fudging kill ya!" "very good"

YES

NOPE

Mace:

NOPENOPENOPENOPE

Lor:

the fingernail NOPENOPENOPE

Mace:

CORRECT

oh god, I’m still cringing

Lor:

YEP

and it gets worse

TEETH

"sweet Peter on a popsicle stick"

Merry Christmas, Sam

Mace:

HAHAHA

this is too soon. i’m having a tooth pulled in a couple of weeks

Lor:

"somebody gonna get that?" HIS COMEDIC TIMING JENSEN

ooooooof

Mace:

YAS

Lor:

tsk tsk tsk, you left Winchesters unattended

Mace:

yep. big mistake

Lor:

YEP

using all that "perfect" house stuff as weapons. the big hutch, the perfect tree

Mace:

they’re gonna be so sappy-sticky when they get home...

YES

Lor:

YEP

they should pick up some baking soda on the way home

Mace:

yep

Lor:

Dean's like full body eye roll at Sam's "merry christmas"

Mace:

HAHAHA YES

oh god, Dean.

you’ve got too much on those little shoulders

Lor:

Dean as Santa Claus/Dean as father

YOU DO

Mace:

YAS

Lor:

oh Dean. disappointed that the presents don't actually work for Sam

Mace:

YEP

also, FUCK YOU, JOHN

Lor:

RIGHT?

"no. no, that's for Dad" over the present

Mace:

YES

Lor:

Dean's not allowed to have things

Mace:

and Sam choosing Dean over John

Lor:

YES

Mace:

this right here is the pivotal moment for Sam

Lor:

and Dean still wearing it all these years later

YES

Mace:

YAASSS

omg their FACES

Lor:

SAM'S DECORATING

Mace:

Sam hopeful, Dean’s astonishment

Lor:

YES

the eggnog is too strong for him I can't

Mace:

YES

Dean’s delight that he got presents

Lor:

YES

and Dean CARES if Sam is happy with those last-second presents

Mace:

and so does SAM I CANNOT

Lor:

YEP

Mace:

you can’t tell me that they don’t keep those silly presents FOREVER

Lor:

YEP

Mace:

oh god, they’re both about to cry

BOYS

Lor:

(I also love that Sam's presents to Dean are better than Dean's presents to Sam both in the present and the past)

YES

Mace:

YES

Lor:

that face Dean makes with the drink

THIS SHOOOOOOOT

Mace:

YES

Lor:

through the window. snow. lights. BABY IS WITH THEM

Mace:

YES

Lor:

such a good episode

#watchingspnagain #watchingspnagain 3x08 #spn #supernatural #spn meta #spn spoilers #spn 3x08 #watchingspnagain acting #watchingspnagain comedy #watchingspnagain dean's responsible for sam #watchingspnagain editorial asides #watchingspnagain john #watchingspnagain read as gay #watchingspnagain normalcy #watchingspnagain setdec #watchingspnagain flashbacks

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echantedtoon · 6 months

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Allison Chapter Five

Ever heard of the sport sky diving? If not, how about paragliding? Or parachuting? Either way all those sports had something in common. All of them involved jumping or 'falling' from very high heights but with the safety of a hang glider, or parachute, or some other form of safety proceedures. Or the very least a helmet.

THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE WANTED TO BE DOING THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!

She couldn't quite grasp what was exactly happening as she flailed about and her hair whipped around her. One moment she was standing on solid ground and the next she was suddenly falling through the air and spinning out of control! Was this Chesire's idea of a joke?! If it was then this was NOT funny at all! She flipped with a yelp and was now facing downwards, making her hair whipped behind her freeing her face and she screamed as a giant grandfather clock flew passed her, her head twisting to follow it as it rocketed up...Wait. A CLOCK?! She looked back and wish she hadn't when she rapidly blinked at the absolute downwards spiral of BRIGHT orange-pink funnel stared back at her while she was falling down it- She yelped and moved aside as a teacup. A TEACUP!! Of all things flew past her next. Followed by another, then a matching teapot, then a matching tea tray, silver tea spoons, and the rest of a whole tea set. What the heck!? In the distance more objects started to whizz past her as she continued to free fall to whatever this thing lead to. Was this what Chesire experienced everytime he used the mirror?....HOLY COW WATCH OUT!! A book, thankfully not a very thick one, hit her forehead before continuing on past her and she thought the air pushing her to clutch the spot where it hit her for a second. Yelping again when she did a flip in mid air and was falling but now in the position as if bridal style. Her hair still whipping upwards from her head. Her red eyed looking around at the now clutter of things as they whizzed by her. Chairs, tables, tea sets, books, paintings, hourglasses, watches!! You name it it was there-

"OOF!!"

Her body finally stopped when her body landed in a chair right under her and paused. The chair with the new weight starting going downwards slower than she previously was falling, watching as things kept floating up past her and she gripped the chair. Hands digging into the cushioned arms of the chair, pulled her legs towards her body, and her head snapping around looking at everything as she breathed heavily.

"CHESIRE!?," She shouted at the top of her lungs horrified. It echoed around this whole magical tunnel thing and repeated back to her, and was the only reply back to her, "CHESIRE!? HELP!! T-T-THIS ISN'T FUNNY!! IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY SCARY!!" Still no sounds but the funny echoes and the ticking of clocks going past her. Her eyes darting around at all the objects flying past and growing ever more scared. "O-O-OK!! HAHA!! V-VERY FUNNY!! NOW KNOCK THIS OFF!!"

Clink!

"HA!!" She scrambled back into the chair when something bumped into her arm which she wretched to her side...and she blinked. "...O-Oh?"

It was just a tall vase with umbrellas sticking out of it in stripped patterns. She sighed but paused again at the giant sign also sticking out of the vase. In bright silver letters it read: 'Wonderland Tunnels. Please take one umbrella for all your traveling needs.' And she blinked....Wonderland Tunnels? What the heck was that? Was this the passageway to Chesire's home he spoke of? ...Those eyes blinked back down at the umbrellas offered, and the vase wasn't moving from it's spot next to her. She didn't know what compelled her to slowly reach her hand back out. To slowly wrap it around one red handle that stuck out to her. To then pull it out and look at it's dark and light red stripes...And blinked. This was a way of traveling? What was she supposed to do? Pop it open and Mary Poppins this thing? She got her answer when the thing, ON IT'S OWN, popped open with a giant WHOOSH!! sound. It was like a giant gust of wind just forced her forward and back into the air. Her arm hurt from the giant yank on her arm and on instinct her other hand came over to clutch at the handle for dear life. The strangest thing was that she was being driven downwards which is NOT where she wanted to go!! Her body being swung back and forth like some ragdoll and she was scared she might be flung off to who knows where.

As she drove deeper and deeper into the unknown, all of a suddenly things were starting to spiral out of control. The random clocks, tea sets, and other things were starting to whizz past her faster and faster. And she was spinning and spinning faster and faster out of control as her surroundings became nothing but swirls of bright colors that was making her head hurt and her arms REALLY hurt from the amount of strain they were using to hold on! So she closed her eyes as soon as the bright light became too much! Her stomach felt like throwing up that breakfast she had and only spun faster and faster. Her fingers finally loosening their grip slowly.

Slowly.

....Slower...

.....Slower..

SLOWER!!

She screamed when her body was flung down like she was fired flom a slingshot down into the center of a bright light and polka dots exploded behind her eyes. A giant blue screen covered in white polka dots appeared before here and she blinked. They were still there. It took her a moment to realize it was a giant something she was headed right towards and she flailed her arms out, making herself tumbled heads over heels out of control again and hitting her side into the giant soft, rubbery thing with a giant SMACK sound. Pain exploded onto her side but her journey wasn't done when Allison began rolling down the hill like platform and grunted and tried to get her dizzy body to stop but didn't. Allison felt sick, dizzy, and hurt- She screamed again when she fell off the giant thing and fell down what must've been another one or two stories before landing on her back on another rubbery hill, knocking the wind outta her. Only this one was pink with yellow polka dots. And again her body rolled and fell down an impressive amount of space before her body smacked against ANOTHER one but this time the hill was all green...She made a screeching sound, like that cartoon noise affect when the cartoon character smacked against the window and slowly went down against it, as she lowered down the smaller hill. Until with a final smack, she fell to the ground face first like a limp ragdoll.

.....

......

......*COUGH*!!

A hand slowly came to shakily clutch at the ground she was flopped against and Allison's head slowly lifted itself from the ground and coughed again. The ground beneath her was soft with small bright green grass, she spat out a couple blades of it and groaned before slowly sitting herself painfully up. Strawberry blonde hair blocked the view of the human girl as she put her hand to her back and stretched her pained body with a couple pops. Oh sweet mother of frick! That fall hurt worse then the time she tripped and fell into her cousins kiddy pool. Her stomach still felt quesy and her head dizzy, so she remained propped up against her knees and finally pushed her hair away from her face-

"OW!!" Her hands flew up to clutch the top of her head as something hit it and then fell to the ground in front of her with a thud. She cursed under her breath and looked down to notice it was the same red umbrella that flung her into this place. She angrily glared at it, before grabbing the thing by her red lap having intentions to throw it-...WAIT!! Red...lap? Those eyes blinked down to her body and to her utter SHOCK her baggy sweats and tank top were GONE. For a moment she thought her dizzy brain was just playing trips on her, but no. She was staring at a DRESS that was the same pattern of bright and dark red stripes as the umbrella she held- She noticed her arms next and held them out extended to see. SWEET MOTHER OF TEA!! She was wearing long gloves to match! Forgetting her dizzy mind and stomach, she quickly made to stand on her wobbly legs and feet. Yep. Red shoes and red and white stripped leggings to match this whole ridiculous get up. What the what?! Allison looked back up from wince she dropped and absolutely froze. ".....Oh no.."

Everything. Was. GINORMOUS!!

The 'hills' she fell and rolled down weren't hills but the top of GIANT mushrooms!! The white undersides and stems were about as big as a skyscraper and the trees surrounding her were even bigger!! THEY WERE PLANETS COMPARED TO HER!! But the grass was small, just like regular grass back home which was the strange part in all this. The sky was a purple blue and seemed to be endless as she just stared at it.....This was not her home! Her hands dropped the umbrella and immediately began patting her now dress and THANKFULLY found what she wanted. She nearly dropped the phone as she hastily took it out and fumbled to get it up and working. The screen came on but when she tapped a button to use her wifi....a small notisfication came up reading 'Error. Connection not found'. She held it up and swung it in a few different directions, but ultimately gave up when the screen didn't change. Not that calling would've helped her anyways. Chesire didn't even know what a phone was let alone know how to use it, and no one on the outside of this world could've been helpful here. WIth a groan she stuck it back into whatever pocket this goofy dress provided her and sighed. Now what was she gonna do-

"HEY!! Watch where you're going you numbskull?!," a high pitched squeaky voice sounded out. She jumped and blinked, whirling her head around looking for anyone but no one was there- "Look down you human!!" She did and yelped taking a few steps back. Staring up at her was a small mouse wearing a dress of all things and glaring at her angrily. "Who do you think you are stomping over someone's home like that?! Don't you know how to watch where you're going?! Humans! I swear it's all the same every time one of you drops in here!"

"I-.....I-I'm sorry?" Allison shook her head and looked back down at the mouse like she wasn't really there for a second and she would wake up from a dream. But said mouse was still there and not going anywhere anytime soon it looked like. "W-What exactly are you?"

"Well you should be!" The small mouse put her hands on her hips. "This is the fifth time this week someone almost stepped on me! First that weird knight, then the Marsh Hare TWICE, then some weird looking frog prince, and now a HUMAN of all things!! And Im a DOORMOUSE!! Haven't you ever seen one before!?"

"I-I no! No, no!!" She held up her friends. "T-To be honest, Im not even from around here...Where ever here is?"

The mouse rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Typical humans. This is Wonderland. Where else would we be?"

She blinked. Wonderland? So that's where she was. Chesire's home, this is nothing like any kind of thing she would've imagined. Allison looked back up the way she came. There wasn't any signs of any portals above the giant mushrooms she fell on, so where did she go from here? She looked back to the mouse. "Do you know how I can get back home?"

"Just walk to where you live!"

She shook her head. "No! NO! I-I'm not from here. NOT. FROM. WONDERLAND!! I need to find another portal or...o-or something."

"What do I look like?! A map!?"

She groaned and flung her arms out. "Isn't there ANYTHING you can tell me that could help me?!"

The small mouse thought for a moment before shaking her head. "You want my advice?" Allison nodded desperately. And then the mouse pointed to the right of them. "Find that Crazy Hatter and his rabbit friend. They know practically everyone there is to know around these parts! Just follow the small blue mushrooms until you come across the fork in the road the signs should point you in the right direction!" She turned to scowl at the umbrella dropped next to her and lightly kicked it. "And take your ride! We don't appreciate litter around here!"

She looked to where the mouse had pointed and sure enough there was a string of small glowing blue mushrooms starting from the base of a giant tree a little ways from her and starting going north. And she smiled. Well it's a start. She turned back to the mouse. "Thanks-"

She stopped seeing the mouse scurry a little ways from her but stopped and looked back to her. "If I were you I'd get out of here as fast as I can. This is giant country and they don't fair too well with humans. Not since one stole their Gold laying goose, and another became a famous giant slayer. Those Jack Brothers left a baaaad taste in their mouths.'' She turned back around and began scurrying off until Allison couldn't see her anymore.

Allison stared after her for a good while before reaching down to regrab the umbrella. Looking at it before around at her surroundings and gulping. Well, she wasn't about to stick around and wait for a giant to come fee, fie, foe, thumbing to grind her bones to make their bread or whatever giants did. She turned and took a breath. Allison really had no choice did she? The woman slowly began making her way in the direction of the blue mushrooms. She didn't notice the small rose hidden away in the bushes with a small face lean out from the bush....before leaning back over and whispering to another flower. Then that flower whispered to another. And rinse in repeat as the message of a human falling in was on it's was to who knows where.

#allison #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #timber #zoophobia

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briamichellewrites · 1 year

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Mike was at Target getting groceries when he heard a child’s voice. That wasn’t unusual since the store was busy but what he heard next made him stop. It was the name, Bria. He looked around until he saw a girl around twelve years old in the freezer next to him. She looked exactly like the girl he kept seeing in his dreams. He heard her asking the man she was with how many bags of frozen vegetables he wanted. Three. She got the number he wanted before noticing him watching them.

Did he need any? No, thanks. Brad thanked her for getting those for him as she put them into the cart. He looked up and noticed him. They shared a confused look. Do I know you? They said hello to each other politely before going on their way. The little girl asked him who that was. He had no idea. They finished getting their groceries and headed to the checkout.

They had spent about an hour going through the boy’s and junior’s departments looking for clothes. They were both satisfied with what they picked out. He found it was a lot easier to pick out boys’ clothes than girls. She had outgrown the girl’s department. Even the biggest size was too small. He waited outside while she tried the clothes on in the fitting room. She came out to show him before going back in to change. They did that three times before being satisfied.

She was excited to put them into her closet when they got home. At the checkout, they had to wait in line. Waiting in line was not easy because she got bored easily. There were three people in front of them with carts full of stuff, just like them. It was a Saturday afternoon, so people were getting ready for the upcoming week.

Brad knew she would have a hard time waiting, so he engaged her in conversation. If she waited without complaining, he would let her get a piece of candy. She smiled happily. Did she think she could do that? Yeah. He thought so, too.

“After supper, I’m going to watch a movie.”

“After you get your pajamas on and brush your teeth. What movie are you going to watch?”

“I don’t know yet. Maybe Mary Poppins. That’s an old movie.”

“That movie came out around the same time I was born. Are you calling me old”, he joked.

“Ancient history!”

He sarcastically thanked her. Mike happened to end up behind them. He watched them interact with each other. She was doing her best to be patient but he could tell it was hard. The girl he remembered in his dreams had ADHD, so he wondered if that was the same for this little girl. She behaved and spoke just like the girl in his head. He would have to tell his friend, Brad about his experience.

Finally, they were the next in line. After putting their items on the belt, he gave her permission to pick out a piece of candy. She had done so well with waiting that he had to reward her. It was a hard choice. She decided on a bag of gummy bears. Thank you! She was welcome.

The next Monday, Mike received a visit from Brad and Bria. He was the first one to arrive at NRG Studio in Hollywood and was getting ready for his band members to arrive when there was a knock on the door. After getting up from where he was sitting, they introduced themselves. He recognized Bria as the girl he saw at Target. The reason for their visit was that he had been emailing Brad Delson about having his daughter shadow them.

At that moment, Brad came in with his band members following behind him. Mike called him over. After setting his stuff down, he walked over and introduced himself. They talked for a while about letting her stay with them for a few hours while he ran errands. He told her to listen to them and not to touch anything because it was very expensive equipment. She promised that she would not touch anything!

She had a book bag of stuff to keep her busy, in case she needed to fidget. Once he left, he brought her over to his band, who were goofing off, and introduced her. They said hello and introduced themselves. Rob, Dave, Mike, Chester, and Joe. How old was she? She was twelve. Wasn’t she in school? No, she was homeschooled. She set her book bag on the floor before sitting down on an empty chair. They could tell she was eager and excited to be there.

They came to find out that she was a cool kid, who was used to being around adults. She was wearing boys clothes and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Mike asked her if she ever got the candy she wanted. Yeah! She picked out a bag of gummy bears and she ate them while watching a movie before going to bed. But first, she had to brush her teeth in case she fell asleep during the movie. Did she?

Yeah. She fell asleep on the couch and she didn’t wake up until the next morning. What movie did she watch? It was Mary Poppins. She was thinking about watching The Lion King but she decided to watch Mary Poppins instead. It was past her bedtime when she fell asleep. What time did she go to bed? Eight thirty or nine on weekends. When she was on set with her dad, she usually fell asleep watching a movie in his trailer. Then he woke her up to go home or to the hotel.

Then, she fell asleep again. Dave joked he wished they could fall asleep that easily. They laughed. What was the candy for? It was for waiting in line. There were three people in front of them, so they had to wait a while. Did she have a hard time waiting in line? Yeah. She had to move around but couldn’t because the space was too small. Yeah, they could see how that would be hard for a kid.

While they worked, she worked on her schoolwork. She had to label the fifty states on a map while reading descriptions from a textbook. The band helped her when they waited for their turn. It had been a long time since they were in middle school, so they had to remember what the fifty states were. They picked out California easily. Nevada, Alabama, New Mexico… Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin. Then, the original fifteen colonies. Yeah, it was harder than they thought.

It was when they were finished did they discover the answers were in the back of the book. They checked to see if they were correct. They had about forty-five out of fifty correct. That was about ninety percent. The original thirteen colonies were probably the hardest. They were satisfied with their work. They did notice she had a hard time sitting still and sometimes had to sit on her feet to focus.

But she wasn’t distracting. She knew how to be quiet when they were working. That was something she had to learn while being with her father when he worked. The directors would get mad at her if she was too loud or disruptive.

She liked to sit at a picnic table and play or watch the insects on the ground. Insects? Yeah, she loved watching insects! Especially ants because there were hundreds of them walking around all over the place. She liked feeding them until her father told her they would steal her food. They laughed. Maybe she could be an entomologist.

What was that? They were experts on insects. She would have to learn science and different types of biology. That would be cool! When Brad picked her up, he was told she was more than welcome to hang out with them again! She didn’t bother them at all. He appreciated that and they both thanked them. They would set up another time for her to come over. After saying goodbye, they left. Chester mentioned how adorable she was! They all agreed with that!

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia @boricuacherry-blog

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revisitingstoneybrook · 1 year

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#9 The Ghost at Dawn’s House: Chapter 15

OMG it’s sleepover time!

Next book I’m doing is Karen’s Newspaper. Yes, I’m braving a Little Sister book for this blog but it’s also got some of the funniest moments in BSC history in it.

BSC SLEEPOVER! Surprisingly, the movie choices du jour are mostly “current” stuff - Star Wars, Ghostbusters, Sixteen Candles. These outweigh the two typical BSC movie choices - Mary Poppins and The Parent Trap. I think we can assume Stacey suggested Mary Poppins and I remember Mary Anne saying Sixteen Candles is one of her favorite movies.

They can't choose which two to watch and voting doesn't work. So Kristy picks two out of a hat, since she's the Club President and their Supreme Lord and Master. Ghostbusters and Sixteen Candles it is.

They did makeovers too, compliments of Stacey and Claudia. First of all, Kristy let them do makeup on her without her fake-puking like Dawn in a Burger King? Number two, I pity whoever was on the receiving end of a Claudia makeover. “Claudia, you’ve got it set on WHORE!”

youtube

And Mary Anne is fangirling over Cam Geary again. Patience, Mary Anne. You’ll have your own personal Cam Geary in one more book.

While watching the Stay Puft marshmallow man in Ghostbusters, Kristy gets a hankering for s'mores. Of course, Dawn laughs; she doesn't have sugary crap in her house! But she underestimated Claudia and Kristy, who came prepared with an artillery of junk food - chocolate, marshmallows, M&M's, chips...oh, and some crackers for the boring health food people. Damn you and your diabetes, Stacey! You ruin sleepovers!

The candy freaks run off to make their s'mores and Stacey and Dawn roll their eyes at them. While they're gone, Dawn decides to get some revenge. And what better way than to scare the shit out of them with the secret passage? Hey, Dawn must like this idea because she uses it on Mary Anne later on in the series. Dawn explains about her secret passage and Stacey responds, “Hey, I know plenty about secret passages.” No, she agrees to take part in Dawn's vendetta against people who bring sugar into her house.

The s'mores eaters then come back and they all finish the movie. When it's done, Dawn brings them upstairs under the guise of putting MORE makeup on Mary Anne to make her look like Cam Geary's girlfriend Corrie Lalique. Well, when they all go upstairs, Dawn says she and Stacey are going to get some sodas. We then get this wonderful exchange between Claudia and Dawn:

“You have soda?” asked Claudia skeptically. “Or do you mean Perrier or sparkling, saltless mineral water from an artesian well or something?” I tried not to sound sarcastic. “Yes, we have soda. Real soda. Mom bought it for the party. One hundred percent sugar.” “Good,” said Claudia, not cracking a smile.

First of all, how the fuck does Claudia know the word “artesian?” She probably spells it “arteezhun.” Second of all, shut the hell up, Claudia. Dawn was nice enough to accommodate you. Wow, did I just defend Dawn?

Stacey and Dawn sneak into the passage, rap on the walls and the pipes and freak the shit out of everyone inside. Mary Anne goes nuts and screams that it's the ghost and Kristy is all confused. I guess this means there’s more ghosts in Stoneybrook besides Ben Brewer! Well, Dawn and Stacey come out of the passage and everyone laughs over it. Dawn tells them all about it and Claudia immediately wants to go in. But wait! They hear noise coming from the passage. And since it's 1 a.m., it isn't Nicky. Or could it be? Maybe the triplets stuck his hand in a glass of water and he ran out of the house to blow off some steam.

The girls go downstairs to sleep and the next morning discuss what they should do in the last days before they start 8th grade for the 1st of 193 times. And we've seen food in mouth dialogue and allergy dialogue and butchered accents and here we have probably the only case of face-in-pillow dialogue. Mary Anne says, “Having a cookout,” but instead it sounds like “Havee a fuh-fow.”

#babysitters club #bsc #the ghost at dawn's house #dawn schafer #snark

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andrews-reviews-and-thoughts · 1 year

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Andrew’s Thoughts on Mary Poppins Returns, The Wind Rises, and Ponyo

Thoughts on Mary Poppins Returns: An 8/10. It may have ended up feeling like the original too much with its similar and kind-of predictable story, and have an unnecessary and not well developed villain, but it successfully retained the feel of the original with its charming tone, songs that are rather memorable and do feel like they came from Mary Poppins (though maybe not in the same levels as the original), nice performances from the cast, including Emily Blunt, Lin Manuel Miranda, and a cameo from Dick van Dyke, and great visuals and choreography, especially with the hand-drawn sequence.

Thoughts on The Wind Rises: As Hayao Miyazaki’s final film (maybe), he left off on a big bang. The movie shows the life of Jiro, a young man who ends up designing airplanes for the Japanese military. But Jiro doesn’t make planes that are ultimate weapons or make planes for the sake of his country, he merely wants to create something that is beautiful, which unfortunately ends up paining him that something beautiful becomes corrupted for destruction. The idea of something beautiful being easily corruptible is a big theme of the film, and can provide tons of stuff to think about. The film also shows the relationship between Jiro and Nahoko, and without spoiling the movie, it definitely provides an emotional and heartbreaking part of the film.

Of course the backgrounds, character design, and animation is as good as it always is, but what makes this stand out is how it shows the elegancy of a plane in flight, along with the dream sequences providing some creativity. It may not have as much innovating moments as the other Studio Ghibli movies, but it probably wouldn’t be considered a bad thing. I’ve already discussed Jiro and technically Nahoko, but there are also other characters. There could be a possibility that they’re overshadowed by the main two characters, but they still get enough screentime for us to look at them. Honjo is Jiro’s friend who’s pessimistically dismayed about Japan’s technology being behind other countries; Kurokawa is Jiro’s hot-tempered boss, though he isn’t too heartless; Kayo is Jiro’s sister who wants to become a doctor and tries to help out Nahoko; and Mr. Castorp is an interesting character who helps out a bit with the romance between Nahoko and Jiro, while also presenting himself as a mysterious figure who may know more than we think (possibly a German or Soviet official on the run). (On a sidenote, there is something in Castorp’s voice that I can’t help but associate with the word snake. You’d get what I mean through watching either the English or Japanese dub.) In short, The Wind Rises is a great film, and could be considered Miyazaki’s equivalent to Isao Takahata’s Grave of the Fireflies. Story: 10/10. Animation: 9 or 10/10. Characters: 9 or 10/10. Overall: 9 or 10/10.

Finally, to end off on a positive note, I’ll try to discuss Ponyo. Ooh boy, was that a Weird one. Honestly, I’m not sure how I should feel. With the odd childlike tone, the characters treating almost everything nonchalantly or acting oddly and not like expected, and some parts of the story feeling unexplained or more serious than other parts, it makes it seem not as great as the other Ghibli movies. But maybe I’m just being crazy and am failing to see how this could be a nice film to be enjoyed by children, I don’t know. As for the characters, other than what I said, they’re mostly two-dimensional and not as complex as other Ghibli characters, with some feeling like there could have been development for them. As for the animation, it has a more kid-friendly feel like it came from a kids book, but still has the good stuff from other Ghibli films, with a nice and creative look for the sealife. Story: 7/10. Animation: 10/10. Characters: 6/10. Overall: 8 or 7 or 7.5/10.

Random Lines At End: 1: Kurokawa: Jiro, let’s go get some coffee. Jiro: But, I’ve got to go to a... Kurokawa: Cancel it. (Closes door.) 2 (in Japanese): Kurokawa: Jiro, we need to talk. Jiro: I’ve got a meeting. Kurokawa: Cancel it. (Closes door.) 3 (English): Jiro: Schubert’s Winter Journey. (Audio plays.) Honjo: Well, that’s perfect for us. A masterpiece of misery and woe.

#studio ghibli #hayao miyazaki #ponyo #the wind rises #mary poppins #mary poppins returns #animation #review

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just-dreaming-marvel · 3 years

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Love and Medicine ~ 3

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 4,600ish

Summary: The beginning of your intern year continues.

Warnings: man parts (lol) and talk about rape

You really tried your best, but you couldn’t get the image of a naked Dr. Steve Rogers on the floor of your living room out of your head. You had decided one night that, to help get the image out of your head, you needed roommates. The house that you had inherited was big enough and the longer you lived there, the lonelier it became. So, you created a ‘roommates wanted’ sign and posted it in the locker room before your shift.

You had several interns come up to you explaining why they would be the perfect roommate for you within the first few hours of your shift. It was annoying and you turned every single one of them down, being very particular about who was going to live with you.

“Why do you put up posters for roommates if you don’t want roommates?” Val asked as you, her, and Scott walked down a corridor.

“I do want roommates,” you defended.

“And why can’t we be those roommates?” Scott wondered

“We’re just together a hundred hours a week, you want to live together too?”

“No,” Natasha responded, walking up to the group. “Ooh, you’re bringing bribes now?” She motioned to the cup of coffee in your hand.

“I need a place to live,” Scott rambled. “My mom irons my scrubs. I have to get out of there.”

“It’s not a bride,” you told Natasha before turning to Scott. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“But I can’t put down last, first, and deposit,” Scott argued.

“It’s totally a bride,” Natasha scoffed.

“I can cook,” Val added. “And I can clean.”

“No,” you stated. “I just want two total strangers who I don't have to talk to, or be nice to, and it's not a bribe, it's a mocha latte.”

“Clint, you’re running the code team,” Gamora ordered as you all walked up to her. “Y/N, take the trauma patients, Natasha, deliver the weekend labs to patients, Val, you’re on sutures, and Scott, you’re on scut.”

“Dr. Gamora,” you called. “I was hoping to assist you in the OR today, maybe do a minor procedure? I think I'm ready. Mocha latte?” You held the cup out for her.

“If she gets to cut, I want to cut too,” Natasha added.

“Yeah, me too,” Val joined in.

“I wouldn’t mind another shot,” Scott shrugged.

“And if everybody else gets one, then I do too!” Clint said.

“Stop talking,” Gamora demanded. You all fell silent. “Every intern wants to perform their first surgery, that's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No. Why? Because my interns are whining. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma patients taken care of, having the weekend labs delivered, and having someone down in the Pit, doing the sutures.” She swiped the mocha latte from your hand. “No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary freakin' Poppins.”

“Mocha latte my ass,” Natasha grumbled.

“Why’re y’all still standing there? Move!”

Everyone moved, you heading to the elevator with a few files. You paused in your steps when you noticed who was waiting at the elevator. Dr. Steve Rogers. You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself, before making your way to stand and wait next to him. When he noticed you, he tried to hide the pleasant smile that wanted to take over his face.

“New York has ferry boats,” he stated.

“Yes,” you replied, a bit confused.

“I didn’t remember that. I grew up here then left, now I’ve been living here for six weeks, and I didn’t remember there were ferry boats.”

“Well, Manhattan is an island.”

“Hence the ferry boats.” The elevator arrived and the two of you stepped onto it. “Now I have to like it here. I wasn’t planning on liking it here. I just moved here from the country. I’m supposed to not like big cities like Manhattan. But I have a thing for ferry boats.”

The elevators doors closed, leaving them alone in the elevator. He was leaning against the wall behind you as you stood in the middle, holding the files to your body. You hoped that he couldn’t hear your heart pounding in your chest.

“I’m not going out with you,” you blurted. You don’t know if you were trying to tell him that or if you were trying to convince yourself that you weren’t interested.

“Did I ask you to go out with me?” He questioned. He paused before asking the next, “Do you want to go out with me?”

“I'm not dating you. And I'm definitely not sleeping with you again. You're my boss.”

“I'm your boss's boss.”

“You're my teacher. And my teacher's teacher. And you're my teacher.”

“I'm your sister, I'm your daughter,” he joked.

“You're sexually harassing me.”

“I'm riding an elevator.” He stepped towards you, you could practically feel him breathing down your neck. You spun around to face him.

“Look, I'm drawing a line. The line is drawn. There's a big line.”

“So, this line. Is it imaginary, or do I need to get you a marker?”

You stared at him for a second, basking in all his attractiveness. It didn’t take you very long to go ‘screw it’ and drop the files you were holding and kiss him. Steve was a tad surprised but caught on quickly. When the elevator dinged, you quickly crouched down to pick up the files and rushed out of the elevator. Steve stood there, looking amused.

“We’ll talk later?” He called after you. You ignored him and he chuckled to himself. “Definitely, later.”

~~~

In between taking care of patients, you had interns begging you to let them be your roommate. You were slowly regretting the idea of roommates the longer the day went on. Thankfully, your pager rang and requested you down in the ER.

“You the surgeon?” A nurse asked as you entered the room.

“Yes,” you replied.

“We’ve got a rape victim. 21-year-old female found down at the park, status: post-trauma, she came in with a GCS of 6, BP 80 over 60, head trauma, unequal breath sounds, right pupil is dilated, and she's ready for x-ray. You ready to roll?” You were listening but also focused on the girl’s shoes. They were the same ones you had worn to work. “Hey!”

“Uh, sorry,” you stumbled. “Yeah. Call it in to clear CT, let them know I'm coming, load up the portable monitor, call respiratory for a ventilator, I'll get x-rays while I'm down there.”

You quickly learned that the girls name was Mallory and, just by you reading the scans alone, she would be needing surgery. Dr. Banner and Dr. Rogers were both called in while you were allowed to watch and hopefully assist.

“She’s going to spend a hell of a lot of time in recovery and rehab,” Dr. Rogers stated.

“If she survives,” Dr. Banner added.

“What is she, like, 5'2", a hundred pounds, she's still breathing after what this guy did to her? If they catch the guy, they should castrate him.”

“See how shredded her hands are? She tried to fight back.”

“Tried to?” Dr. Stark repeated, walking into the room. “Rape kit came back negative. She kicked his ass.”

“So, we have a warrior amount us, huh?” Rogers questioned.

“Hell yeah we do! I just came in to tell you about the rape kit and to see if you needed me anytime soon. Can’t have the poor girl be reminded of the incident with so many scars.”

“Mallory,” you interrupted. “Her—her name is Mallory.”

“Mallory,” Rogers and Stark repeated.

“I think I may have found the cause of our rupture,” Banner said, pulling out a piece of flesh. “What is this?” He held it up. “Does anyone know what this is?”

“Oh my gosh,” you gasped, with Dr. Stark snickering from the sidelines.

“What? Spit it out, L/N.”

“She bit it off.”

“Bit off what?”

“That’s his…” You swallowed. “His penis.” Shocked groans filled the OR. “She bit off his penis.”

“Told you she kicked his ass!” Stark exclaimed as Banner couldn’t toss the piece of flesh into the try fast enough.

~~~

After the surgery, the penis was placed in a small cooler. You were tasked to bring it to Fury for the police. You knocked at the door of his office, where an older woman is in there.

“Hi, is the chief in?” You asked.

“He’s on his way,” she responded. “Is that it?”

“Can I see it?” You looked down at the box and then up again. “No, forget I asked.”

“Y/N, it’s good to see you,” Fury greeted as he entered, going to his desk.

“You too, sir,” you responded with a nod. “Listen, so they said to bring this to you,” you lifted up the cooler. “So…?”

“Yes, for the police,” Fury responded.

“Right.”

“When did the police say they'll come?” Fury asked his assistant.

“You know how slow they are,” she answered. “So, she’d better take it with her.”

“What?” You questioned.

“You have to take it with you.”

“Chain of custody rules,” Fury explained. “All medical matter in a rape must stay with the person who collected it, until it's placed in police custody.”

“You collected the specimen, so you have custody.”

“Custody of a penis…” You said.

“Yes,” Fury answered. “Until the cops come for it.”

“Okay. Well, what am I supposed to do with the penis?”

Fury simply shrugged before excusing you. You huffed, leaving the office with the cooler. You wandered the halls until you saw Clint working at a desk. You walked over, setting the cooler down and causing Clint to look up at you.

“What’s that?” He pointed to the cooler as he asked.

“Don’t ask, you don’t want to know,” you responded.

“I do want to know. Really.”

“You really want to know?” Clint nodded. “It’s a severed penis.”

“Okay… I didn’t really want to know.”

“Told you.”

“I didn’t know why I have to be the one who gets hugged,” Natasha complained to Peter as they walked up.

“Because, I don’t do that,” Peter replied. “Besides, you're the ovarian sister here.”

“Did you just call me an ovarian sis— an ovarian— since when has the possession of ovaries become an insult?”

“Y/N’s carrying a penis around in a jar,” Clint interrupted.

“Oh, from the rape surgery?” Natasha looked around.

“Yeah,” you answered. “And it’s not a jar, it’s a cooler.”

“Talk about taking a bite out of crime.” Natasha chuckled as she left.

You were suddenly lost in your head, unable to stop thinking about Mallory’s shoes. They were the same as yours. You had worn them to work today, which was weird. You never really wear them.

“You okay?” Clint asked.

“Yeah… it’s just… Mallory's shoes. The rape victim, Mallory, her shoes. I have the same ones. In my locker. And I normally never wear them, because they're not comfortable, but today I did, and she was wearing the same shoes, and it's just… stupid, and I'm tired, and forget it.”

“You know what you need?” Clint stared at you.

“No. It’s stick and twisted. We said last time was the last time.” Clint looked away. “You’ve been doing it without me?”

“Nancy Reagan lied. You can't just say no. Come on.”

“Do you know what would happen if anyone knew?”

“I'm doing it. You can come with me… or you can stay here, and be miserable.”

“Fine,” you tried to hold back a smile as you followed Clint.

He led you to the nursery, where you two stood at the window and watched the babies. You laughed as Clint did some baby talk.

“You are such a woman,” you laughed.

Clint’s pager beeped before he could retorted. “It’s a code,” he sighed. “I gotta go.”

He left, leaving you to sigh as you watched the babies.

“You are really cute,” you whispered as you looked at them.

As you watched them, you noticed at one of the babies was struggling. His face was slowly turning blue. You quickly entered the nursery, setting the cooler to the side before checking the babies chart. Then you sided your stethoscope to check on the babies heart.

“What are you doing in here?” A Peds Intern asked, walking into the room.

“There were no tests ordered,” you answered. “And the baby has a murmur.”

“I know.”

“He turned blue.”

“You're surgery, you're not authorized to be in here. Do you know how much trouble you can get into for this?”

“Are you going to do any tests?”

“It's a benign systolic ejection murmur. It goes away with age.”

“So you're not going to do any tests.”

“He's not your patient, he's not even on your service.”

“Are you sure it’s benign?”

“I'm a doctor too, you know. You should get out of here.”

Deciding you’d rather not get in trouble, you grabbed the cooler and left. You were stopped along your wandering by more interns who wanted to room with you. After having listened to three of them, you walked away, still unimpressed, and went to Mallory’s room. You were looking at her through the window when Dr. Rogers came up.

“Y/N,” he greeted. “I've called every hospital in the county. Sooner or later, the guy that did this is going to seek medical attention, and when he does, that penis you're carrying around is going to nail him.”

“Where is her family?” You asked.

“Doesn’t have any.”

“No siblings?”

“No. Both parents are dead. She just moved to New York three weeks ago. Welcome to the city.” When you didn’t give a response he turned to look at you. You were lost in your thoughts. “Y/N, you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I just… I just have to do something. I have to go.”

“Right. I’m going to sit with her.”

You nodded before rushing away to find Dr. Banner.

“Dr. Banner?” You called when you saw him.

“Mmm?” He hummed, turning to face you.

“There's a baby up in peds, I saw him have a tet spell, and I think I hear a murmur.”

“Mmm. Did peds call us for a consult?”

“Actually, no. They’re not doing anything about it—“

“So you want me to what?”

“If you could just go up and look at him—“

“Mm-hmm, not without a Peds consult.”

“Yeah, but—“

“I’m a busy man, L/N, and there are rules. Look, it’s not like I’m the Chief or something.”

Then he stocked off, leaving you frustrated.

“Stupid rules.”

~~~

Eventually, you found a spot in the lobby to sit. Just waiting for the cops to show up.

“What’re you doing down here?” Natasha asked when she came across you.

“Just sitting here with my penis,” you responded. “What about you?”

“Hiding from Peter.” She sat beside you.

“I kissed Steve.”

“You kissed Steve.”

“In the elevator.”

“Oh, you kissed him in the elevator.”

“I was having a bad day. I am having a bad day.”

“Oh, so this is what you do on your bad days. Make out with Captain McDreamy.” You both stood up.

“Well, that, and you know, carrying around a penis just makes everything seem so shiny and happy.”

“Mmm. Clint said Mallory was wearing your shoes.”

“Yeah. It’s weird, right?”

“I think it’s weird that you care.”

“I think it’s weird.”

From outside, a car swerves. You and Natasha could hear it from inside, causing you to rush out. A man staggered out of the car, clothes soaked in blood, mainly around his crotch. He collapses. Other doctors and nurses followed you out and immediately began checking on him. You immediately knew that the guy was the owner of the penis you had been carrying around all day. The other doctors brought him into a trauma room. You followed, quickly calling security.

“So, what’ve we got?” Gamora asked as she entered.

“Take a look,” you responded.

“What?” She leaned closer. “Alright, let’s get him to OR 1. Y/N, you call the Chief and let him know we got the rapist.”

~~~

You and Natasha were in the OR with Gamora and Stark. They were working on the rapist.

“I saw Mallory,” you said, eyes on the operating table. “You can’t believe the beating that she took. And then to see this…”

“It's like that old saying, you should see the other guy,” Natasha said.

“Okay, kiddos, why are we not attempting to reattach the severed penis?” Dr. Stark asked.

“Teeth don’t slice, they tear. You can only reattach with a clean cut. If she wanted to slice him off with a knife…”

“Besides,” you continued for Natasha, “the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with.”

“Right,” Gamora agreed, “so what do we do?”

“Sew him up minus a large part of the family jewels,” Natasha answered.

“And his outlook?”

“He'll be urinating out of a bag for a very, very long time,” Natasha added.

“Oh, too bad.”

“Shame.”

“I can’t imagine not having sex,” Stark commented. “I think that I would just end my life if I couldn’t do a round every day.” Everyone looked at him. “What? It shouldn’t be that surprising.”

“No wonder, Dr. Potts keeps turning you down,” Gamora said.

“I’ll get her one day. Just you wait. I’m going to marry that woman if it’s the last thing I do.”

~~~

You met with the police after the surgery where they told you that they couldn’t send their crime scene guy down for hours. Annoyed, you searched for your intern friends. You found them in the empty corridor, sitting on the beds.

“So, the police say that they can’t send down the crack crime scene guy for hours,” you told them as you entered, sitting down beside Natasha. “So I have to spend the night with a penis. Peter, don’t say it.”

“Ahh, it was too easy anyway,” Peter responded.

“Who here feels like they have no idea what they’re doing?” Scott asked. Everyone of you, but Peter, raised a hand.

“I mean, are we supposed to be learning something?” Clint wondered. “Because I don’t feel like I’m learning anything.”

“Except how not to sleep,” Val added.

“It’s like there’s this wall,” Natasha said, “and the attending and the residents are over there, being surgeons, and we’re over here, being—“

“Suturing, code running, lab delivering penis-minders,” you grumbled.

“I hate being an intern,” Peter stated.

Gamora walked into the hallway, looking expectant. All of you interns quickly got up and took your leave. All the others had things to do, so you found yourself in front of the babies again. As you looked at the baby you’re so worried about, you noticed the parents. Taking a deep breath, you decided to go up to them.

“Hi,” you greeted with a soft smile.

“Hi,” the mother greeted back.

“Is he yours?” You nodded to the baby.

“Yeah,” the mother smiled.

“He’s adorable… Have you noticed anything that would concern you?”

“No,” the father responded. “Have you?”

“Earlier today I noticed him turning blue.”

“Blue?” The mother repeated.

“Yes. I checked him and I heard a murmur.”

“We were told that the murmur was benign,” the father stated.

“I don’t think it is. I think—“

“You are so out of line,” the Peds Intern interrupted.

“She says the murmur might not be benign,” the father said.

“I think we should do an echo, to check,” you suggested.

“This is your career,” the intern said, going to get her resident.

“There’s really no reason to get alarmed,” you told the parents.

“What’s the problem?” The resident asked, coming back with the intern.

“If our baby is sick, we want him treated,” the mother ordered. “Now.”

“Who said your baby was sick?”

“Her,” the Peds Intern answered, pointing to you. “The surgical intern who has no business on our service.”

“Who authorized you being here?”

“I was just,” you began, “actually—“

“I did,” Dr. Banner came up from behind you. “Could you excuse us for a second?” Dr. Banner took the resident to the side, but not far enough for you to not hear. “Are you messing with my intern, Dr. Keener?”

“No, sir,” the resident responded.

Dr. Banner turned back to you and the other intern. “Give me the chart.”

“There’s nothing wrong with him,” the intern said, giving up the chart, “I checked.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“You can guarantee that he is fine, you are 100% sure.”

The intern looked hesitant.

“How sure are you?” The resident questioned.

“I don’t know,” the intern responded. “75%.”

“Not good enough,” Banner said. “He’s my patient now. That okay with you, Dr. K?”

“Absolutely,” the resident responded.

“He can take our patient?” The intern asked.

“He’s an attending.”

“Which means I can do whatever I want,” Banner replied before heading to the parents. “Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, I’m Dr. Banner, head of cardio. We’re going to run some tests and give you an answer within the hour. Excuse me.” He turned to you. “L/N.” He motioned for you to follow, which you quickly did. “I want an EKG, a chest x-ray, and an ECHO. I don’t have all day.”

“You’re a busy man.”

“I’m a busy man.”

You quickly ordered the tests then wandered the hospital more, since you weren’t allowed to do anything while you were watching the penis. After a little while, you found Dr. Banner again.

“Well?” You asked as you walked up to him.

“It’s a birth defect,” Dr. Banner replied. “Tetrology affirmed lower pulmonary artresia. You were right. I'm booking the OR for tomorrow.”

“Thank you for backing me up on this.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. You were right. But if you ever pull a stunt like that again...going to the parents behind a doctor's back? Trying to steal a patient from another service? I will make your residency year hell on earth.”

He walked off and you smiled slightly to yourself. You made your way back to the babies, where you watched, from the other side of the window, Banner talk to the parents.

“His heart surgery is scheduled for the morning,” the Peds Intern told you. “I really did think I was right, you know.”

“I know. We almost never are. We're interns,” you responded. “We're not supposed to be right. And when we are, it's completely shocking.”

“Are you— I mean, being an intern, do you feel…”

“Terrified. 100% of the time.”

“Good, it’s not just me.”

“No.”

You decided, after finishing up with the babies, to go check on Mallory. When you arrived, you realized that Steve was still in there.

“How is she?” You asked, standing in the doorway.

“No change,” Steve answered with a sigh.

“Have you been here all night?”

“Mm-hmm. Yup… If I was in a comma, I’d want someone to be here. I know I would have people there. Having no one? Can’t imagine that.”

“I can.”

“Don’t you have any family?”

“I do. Just… I don’t think they’d come.”

Steve watched you carefully before speaking again. “So… we’re kissing but we’re not dating?”

“I knew that was going to come up.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I like the kissing. I’m all for the kissing. More kissing, I say.”

“I have no idea what that was about.”

“Is it going to happen again? Because if it is, I need to bring breath mints. Put a condom in my wallet.”

“Shut up now.” Steve laughed. “There was this baby up in the nursery. He's brand new. No one's neglected him or damaged him yet. How do we get from there to here? She's wearing my shoes and someone's beat the crap out of her, and she's got nobody.”

Suddenly, Mallory’s machine’s began beeping. You quickly hit an alarm on the wall.

“Her ICP’s double, get an OR!” Steve yelled. “Put her in for a craniotomy!”

~~~

You waited outside the OR, still watching over the stupid penis, while Steve operated on Mallory. You were nervous for her and felt bad that no one was there for her. Once the surgery was over, Steve exited the OR, walking past you. When he noticed you were there, he turned back.

“Hey,” he greeted. “I, uh, I had to leave her skull flap off, till the pressure in her brain goes down.”

“She’s not going to make it, is she?” You asked.

“She’s going to be fine.”

“If she ever wakes up.”

Steve nodded. “If she ever wakes up.” You nodded, biting your lip as you looked away. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Your pager went off. You looked down to see it was the Chief. “I’ve gotta go. That’s the Chief. Maybe I can finally get rid of this thing.” You lifted the cooler slightly.

“Yeah,” Steve chuckled. “Good luck.”

~~~

“So here is where you put the signature, down here, the initials,” Fury’s assistant pointed out on a paper.

“Mmm,” you hummed with a nod, taking the paper and pen from her. “Okay.”

“It just says that the penis was never out of your sight.”

“Of course.” You sighed and handed over the paper. “There you go. One penis.” You glanced at the clock and realized that it was time for the baby’s surgery. “Am I all done here? I kinda want to go watch a surgery.”

“Sure.”

You tried to rush, but not rush, to the OR Dr. Banner was working in. When you arrived, you found a spot in the back.

“We'll be using a medium approach for a trans-ventricular repair with a right ventriculostomy,” Banner explained. “Let’s open him up. L/N!” He looked around for you.

“Yes, sir?” You replied.

“Go scrub in. When we've finished cracking the baby's chest, I'll let you hold the clamp.”

“Seriously?” You tried to contain your excitement.

“Don’t make me change my mind.”

You rushed to scrubbed in. And, let’s just say, holding onto that clamp was a rush and just what you needed to help brighten your shift. After that, you went to watch the babies, Val, Clint, and Scott all joining you.

You let out a sigh. “Okay, fine,” you relented. “You guys can move into the house.”

“Yes! Yes!” The guys shouted.

“I can’t believe you caved!” Val laughed.

“I can’t believe it either,” you mumbled, trying to hide the smile.

~~~

You changed out of your scrubs and stared at the shoes in your locker. You couldn’t stop thinking about how weird it was that you had decided to wear those shoes today. With determination, you shut the locker on your shoes and went to the elevator. Steve was there waiting.

“So… it’s intense…” he started. “This thing I have for, ah, ferry boats… I mean.”

You smiled at him. “I’m so taking the stairs this time.” You walked off.

“No self-control,” he called after you. “It’s sad. Really.” He chuckled to himself as you continued to walk away. “Wow… this is so—“

“Weird. It’s weird,” Dr. Stark came up, ready to go too. “Like I said before, that look is bad news. And you—“

“Didn’t I already tell you to shut it Tony?”

“Fine.” Tony held his hands up. “But, seriously, don’t come crying to me when it all blows up in your face.”

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

#steve rogers x reader #tony stark x reader #gamora x reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #peter quill x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #clint barton x reader #scott lang x reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #valkyrie x reader

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thedragonemperess · 3 years

Text

The Dragon Emperess Master Post

I guess I’m doing this now

Special Tags

Marankton speaks because why not: Original posts

Awesome art: Art that I’ve reblogged.

Radical writing: Writing stuff that I've reblogged.

My writing: Self explanatory.

My art: Also self explanatory.

Fanfiction That Is On Tumblr

C-A-R-L: A Julie and the Phantoms fic based on what Bobby/Trevor does after the boys die.

A Magical Fanny Pack? More Likely Than You Think: A Julie and the Phantoms fic based on the the idea that Alex’s fanny pack is like Marry Poppins’ bag.

If The World Was Crumbling: A ScarletStrange fic following Stephen’s thought process after Endgame.

I Saved Your Life!: A Lab Rats/Mighty Med AU where Elite Force never happened. The Bionic Quad splits up to run their own times while Kaz and Oliver become superheroes.

Questions: A Julie and the Phantoms drabble based on the idea of some angst behind the line “When you die, you think you’ll get all these answers, but instead we just have more questions.”

My Life Is Like A Video Game (Trying Not To Go Insane): “A person’s superpowers emerge during- and relate to- a highly stressful moment in their life. Your brother nearly drowned, and as a result could shape water to his will. A classmate fell from a high balcony, and ended up learning to fly. You? You just got your powers last night.”

I Was Getting Kind Of Used To Being Someone You Loved: “I’m currently thinking about Willex plus the quote “How lucky i am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?”

The Years Start Coming And They Don’t Stop Coming: “Luke's gonna have to watch Julie grow up and obtain new romantic partners, while stays the same and is ultimately left behind.”

The Story Of My Life: I Take You Home: Imagine your OTP trying to read their kid a bed time story, but their kid doesn't like any of the books they have, so they decide to tell them the story of how they met.

They Don’t Deserve This: “Marie, you get 25 years in the black room where Alex cried.”

What Really Happens At Target: “You’re late.” “I’m sorry, I could have been on time but I didn’t want to.

Miss Minutes: Miss Minutes is the Duolingo Bird of the TVA.

A Job On The Other Side: An AU where Julie gets a job at the HGC instead of the boys losing their stamps. While Luke comes up with a break-out plan, Julie finds out that Caleb isn't what he makes himself out to be.

Wild for Wheels: Holley stopped by Radiator Springs for a surprise visit. It's late, more, and they just found a stray cat, and it's hurt.

Thinking Out Loud: Finn and Holley drop by for a visit, and Holley devices that this is the trip she's gonna propose to Mater. But here's the catch: Mater has the same idea.

Made For Each Other: "How about a fluffy Plankton meets Karen story?"

MAR10: Bucky found out that his birthday and Mario Day fall on the same day and is making that everyone else's problem. (Well, actually, everyone else is pretty on board with it, he's only making it Sam's problem.)

Madmen & Dictators: That's where the 'unfortunately' part of 'semi-unfortunately' comes in. After being used for so long, that's the only way you can see yourself: A tool in someone else's box.

Broken Walls (Hurt Like Shattered Glass): The gun in his glovebox had been there for years, so Doc had no idea how he managed to forget it. Either way, it was too late to lie, and it was definitely too late to turn around.

The Deep End (Of the Ball Pit): A drabble in which Loki, Peter P., and Tony go to McDonalds.

Otis: A drabble explaining Marcus' first reaction to Otis.

Grief is Love Persevering: AU where Stephen takes Wanda in after Endgame.

Seeing Pink: Flynn has complicated feelings towards the color pink. On one hand, it's a pretty color. On the other hand, it holds vile memories. Written in the form of journal entries.

Take Me or Leave Me: Vega (Vincent), a singer Overlord who has consistently been pestered by Vox to join the Vees, is once again approached by him with the same offer. However, there's a new pre-tense: The Vees are planning something big, and Vox doesn't want them to get caught in the crossfire. For the first time, Vega genuinely considers his offer, but someone else steps in to stir the pot: Vera, a woman who Valentino so hatefully refers to as "Vox's bitch."

Other Master Posts

The Hollywood Ghost Club: After Hours AU

My OCs

Other Accounts

Archive Of Our Own: This is a little bit of everything I write for and more.

This list is prone to updates.

#masterpost #marankton

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the-rewatch-rewind · 1 year

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Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn make their first appearances!

Script below the break

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind, the podcast where I count down my top 40 most rewatched movies. My name is Jane and today I will be talking about number 33 on my list: Columbia Pictures’ 1938 romantic comedy Holiday, directed by George Cukor, written by Donald Ogden Stewart and Sidney Buchman adapted from the play by Philip Barry, and starring Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn.

Johnny Case (Cary Grant) has just returned home to New York City from a trip to Lake Placid where he met, fell in love with, and got engaged to Julia Seton (Doris Nolan). When he shows up at the address she gave him, he is surprised to find that it’s a giant mansion, and that she lives there with her family, whom she previously neglected to mention is extremely wealthy. Both her lively sister Linda (Katharine Hepburn) and her depressed alcoholic brother Ned (Lew Ayers) immediately approve of Johnny. Her father, banker Edward Seton (Henry Kolker), is initially shocked that his daughter is engaged to someone he’s never heard of, but he is ultimately won over by Johnny’s impressive work history. However, when Johnny reveals his plans to quit working for a while to seek the meaning of life, both Edward and Julia are appalled, while Linda enthusiastically approves, and it becomes apparent that Johnny is engaged to the wrong sister.

There are many things I love about this movie, but the main reason it’s on this list is because of who stars in it. If you’ve listened to the Mary Poppins episode, you may recall me saying that Julie Andrews is one of four actors to appear in at least four of my top 40 movies. Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn are two of the others. Katharine Hepburn will be making a total of five appearances, and Cary Grant will be making ten, so if you really hate him, you’re probably not going to like much of the rest of this podcast. I don’t exactly remember why or how he became my number one fave, and it’s kind of a chicken-or-egg situation – do I love so many of his films because he’s in them, or do I love him because he’s in so many of my favorite films? I have no idea, and at this point it doesn’t really matter. I just know that I love watching him on screen, somehow both suave and goofy simultaneously, and listening to that unique voice that truly mastered the fake transatlantic accent like none other. And I also know that he was a very convenient explanation for why I had no interest in dating anyone in my teens or 20s. “There just aren’t any men out there like Cary Grant,” I’d lament, which was true, but the implication that I wanted there to be was misleading, though even I didn’t understand that for a very long time. There were a few other Old Hollywood actors I would sometimes also claim to find attractive, using the same excuse that nobody in real life was like them. I was aware that it was weird to only have “crushes” on movie stars who were old enough to be my great-grandparents, but that still felt less weird than admitting the truth – I didn’t understand what a crush was and I was too scared to ask, since everyone else seemed to instinctively know. It wasn’t until I was around 30 that I finally asked myself, if I met a Cary Grant clone who was my age, with his exact appearance and mannerisms and voice, without his traumatic childhood, would I want to date him? Or sleep with him? And I had to admit that the answer was no. What I feel for Cary Grant is appreciation for his work, and perhaps some aesthetic attraction, but nothing romantic or sexual. He’s still my number one fave, and I still celebrate his birthday every year with a multi-day marathon of his work, which explains why so many of his movies made it into my top 40. Since Katharine Hepburn is another actor whose birthday I celebrate every year (although not quite as enthusiastically), and Holiday is also a perfect New Year’s Eve movie, I have many occasions to revisit this one. I can’t remember if I’d seen it before I started keeping track, but I watched it once in 2003, once in 2006, once in 2008, once in 2009, once in 2011, twice in 2012, once in 2014, once in 2016, twice in 2018, twice in 2019, and once in each year since.

One viewing in particular stands out to me. It was January of 2012. I was in college and I had a lot of intense family stuff going on, and then a snowstorm hit on a Tuesday night, which happened to be the night before Cary Grant’s birthday. Classes ended up getting cancelled for the rest of the week, and I used that time almost exclusively to consume Cary Grant movies. On his actual birthday, I managed to convince some friends to watch one with me, so I went to one of their dorm rooms and we ended up watching Holiday. I want to say that overall it was a good time and most of them really enjoyed it, but I honestly don’t remember for sure. What I do remember is that there was one person in that group of friends who didn’t want to join us, declaring that she refused to watch any movie made before 1990, but then kept coming into the room after we started the movie to make comments like, “Ugh, I can’t believe you’re watching this!” “Ew, it’s in black and white!” and such. I should have just let it go – after all, it was her loss to miss out on great movies due to some arbitrary date cutoff – but I got very upset about it. The disrespect! On Cary Grant’s birthday of all days! I didn’t really know that person very well, and we haven’t kept in touch, but I hope she has forgiven and long forgotten any angry comments I may have directed toward her that day.

To a certain extent, I understand her attitude. Old movies portray outdated ideas and ways of living that can feel strange and even offensive to watch. But they also tell us a lot about the history of our society. Holiday in particular still feels extremely relevant. It’s set during the Great Depression, a time when there were a few very rich people and many very poor people, which sounds a lot like today. It’s about a wealthy family with one child who takes their privilege for granted, one child who is dissatisfied and abuses substances to cope, and one child who actively tries to rebel against the idea that money makes their family inherently superior. And when the entitled head of the family and the child who is most like him hear about a working-class person who has saved up enough money to spend some time enjoying himself instead of working, they scoff at that idea. Doesn’t that sound like it could take place right now?

Modern audiences might find the lack of action in this movie a bit tedious – it’s very apparent that it was based on a play, as it’s dialogue-heavy and almost the entire movie takes place in a few areas of the Seton house. But the wittiness of the lines and the punch of their delivery more than make up for the lack of action, at least in my opinion. I do wish the movie started a little earlier in the story, so that we got to see Johnny and Julia at Lake Placid. Apparently scenes were actually filmed for this, but George Cukor, the director, didn’t like the footage and decided to cut it all. Julia just seems so completely wrong for Johnny in every way that I really want to see how she behaved when they first met to convince him otherwise. From the very first scene when Johnny goes to their house, it is clear that Julia neither shares nor appreciates Johnny’s sense of humor, while Linda is swapping jokes with him as soon as they meet. I don’t necessarily think that means Johnny and Linda need to get together (although of course they will, because it’s a rom com and they’re the stars), but I do feel like it demonstrates that Johnny and Julia would not have had a functional marriage. I’ve never been able to understand what he saw in her, although a possible explanation is vaguely addressed by her brother Ned’s perceptive line, spoken to their sister Linda: “You know, most people, including Johnny and yourself, make a big mistake about Julia. They're taken in by her looks. At bottom, she's a very dull girl and the life she pictures for herself is the life she belongs in.” In other words, Johnny saw a beautiful woman and imposed his ideals onto her. When he finally learns that the woman he’s attracted to – and believes he’s in love with – neither shares nor supports his point of view on life, he has to decide how much of himself he’s willing to compromise.

It would have been so easy to let this story deteriorate into a two-sisters-fighting-over-the-same-man love triangle scenario, but it doesn’t. Linda has no desire to interfere with Johnny and Julia’s relationship, even when she is finally able to admit to herself and Ned that she’s fallen for Johnny. Linda actively tries to repair the rift that forms between Johnny and Julia when they discover they have different values. It’s only after Julia tells her that she doesn’t care about Johnny and is relieved that he’s decided to leave on his holiday without her that Linda decides to go with him. As Ned observed, Linda, like Johnny, has always imposed her own values on Julia, so it takes her just as long as it takes Johnny to realize that he and Julia are completely unsuited for each other. And I love the way that’s portrayed. Too often, sacrificing other relationships for the sake of romantic love is glorified. But Linda is willing to sacrifice romance when she thinks pursuing it would hurt her sister, which I appreciate. There is a part of me that would like to see a version where Linda and Johnny realize that their love is actually platonic and decide to go on an adventure as friends – and who knows? That could happen. The movie ends with them kissing, but afterwards they might decide they don’t feel those kind of feelings for each other and it was just amatonormativity convincing them they did. But that feels like a major stretch. It does seem clear that if they do get married, theirs would not be a particularly conventional marriage, especially for the time, so they’re definitely still rebelling against some societal norms.

That’s really what this movie is about: questioning the things that society tells you should be important. American capitalist society says pile up as much money as you can, and if it’s not much, you’re doing something wrong. Johnny Case says, “Wait a minute. That can’t be all there is” and decides to find different goals for himself. But the movie also portrays how difficult it is to break away from the norms. Ned desperately wants to get away, but his father has a very tight hold on him and won’t let him out of the banking business that Ned despises, so he drinks excessively because he sees no other way out. Linda finds it a little easier to question and rebel against things, but is rarely taken seriously by her father and sister, who patronizingly dismiss her ideas as silly little trifles and assume that she, along with everyone else who is being “difficult” in their eyes, will come around eventually. We get the impression that this is a frequent source of tension in the household, but the main example in the movie is when Linda desperately wants to throw a fun, intimate little New Year’s Eve party to celebrate Johnny and Julia’s engagement, but Mr. Seton insists on throwing an enormous fancy gala instead. Linda protests by staying in the small playroom, where she is joined by Ned along with Johnny’s friends, Nick and Susan Potter, played by the wonderful character actors Edward Everett Horton and Jean Dixon, who feel incredibly out of place at the main party. It’s a delightful scene that contrasts the coziness and warmth of the playroom with the stiffness and formality of the rest of the house. At this point, Johnny has started to conform to the “proper” life Julia wants for him, and he initially enters the playroom to convince Linda to be reasonable and join the big party to keep from embarrassing the family. But he soon realizes that the smaller party is much more his style. And it’s soon after that when he learns that an important deal has come through which has made him enough money to quit his job (why an important business deal would be going through at 11:45 pm on New Year’s Eve has never made sense to me, but oh well), and that’s when he tells Julia and Mr. Seton about his holiday plans and they flip out because he’s challenging the status quo. Eventually, after taking some time to clear his head, Johnny tells them he’s willing to compromise and try the life Julia wants, agreeing to work for Mr. Seton’s company for a year or so and then go on holiday if he still wants to. Julia and Mr. Seton are delighted, making it clear that they believe that once he starts this life, he’ll change his mind completely and give up on what they view as his foolish fancy. But traveling to find the meaning of life is even more important to Johnny than the party was to Linda, and he decides he can’t compromise. He has to live his life the way he chooses, even if most people think it’s foolish. And that message still feels incredibly profound and necessary today.

I think that’s the main reason this movie has resonated with me so much. As someone who has always felt like the things I find important are often dismissed as trivial by mainstream society, while the things mainstream society deems important have never made much sense to me, it feels incredibly validating and encouraging for a Cary Grant character to confidently declare that he doesn’t want the life he’s “supposed” to want, and ultimately decide not to back down even when people he cares about just as confidently scoff and tell him he’s wrong. Not that I would ever have the courage or self-assurance to just drop everything and leave on a trip with no plan other than “find the meaning of life” – that sounds terrifying. But when you’re aroace – and I imagine this is similar for other queer identities as well – you’re constantly bombarded with the message that the “correct” life path is something that doesn’t feel right, and that the life you do want is not only incorrect, but shameful. Of course, a movie made in 1938 would never have dreamed of addressing LGBTQIA+ issues directly, but somehow, even with its straight romances, Holiday almost feels queer. That might be taking things too far, but the film is certainly about living as your true and authentic self and not letting anyone convince you to be someone you’re not for the sake of “respectability,” which feels like basically the same thing as saying “queer rights,” at least to me.

Much as I love the message of the story, I do want to emphasize that ultimately this is a comedy, and a big part of its appeal is just getting to see Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn being silly together. The way their characters meet and instantly establish an easy rapport feels so natural and authentic. Whether they’re disagreeing about the difference between goat and sheep noises, trying to invent a fancy pedigree for Johnny, or actually being real with each other, they are such a delight to watch. Nick and Susan Potter are also very fun characters, and their friendship with Johnny – and later Linda – is beautifully portrayed. I would love to see a sequel of the four of them traveling the world together. However, that was not to be, partly because despite receiving critical acclaim, this movie was a box office failure. It’s been speculated that perhaps Great Depression audiences who would have done anything to find jobs did not sympathize with Johnny’s plans to quit his. At the time, Katharine Hepburn was deemed “box office poison” because audiences thought she was past her prime, so that didn’t help either. After this movie, Hepburn left Hollywood for Broadway, where she starred in a new play that Philip Barry – who also wrote the play this movie was based on – had written specifically for her, which she then took back to Hollywood and used to turn her career around…but more on that in a future episode.

A few more fun facts about Holiday that I need to share: in the original Broadway production of the play, Katharine Hepburn understudied the role of Linda, and she performed a scene from the play in her first screen test, which led to her first film. The role of Nick Potter was originally played on Broadway by Donald Ogden Stewart, who co-wrote this screenplay, and then was played by Edward Everett Horton in both a 1930 film adaptation and this 1938 remake. This was the final feature film appearance of Jean Dixon, who played Susan Potter, although she continued to act on stage and television, and she will be making another appearance on this podcast for an earlier film. And finally, this movie provided Cary Grant an opportunity to show off the tumbling skills he learned while touring with an acrobatic troupe as a teenager, as Johnny likes to use acrobatics to calm himself when he’s nervous. It kind of looks to me like at one point they may have used a stunt double, but for most of the flips you can clearly see his face, and I think it's so cool that he was able to do at least most of his own stunts. What a performer.

Thank you for listening to me chat about another of my most-rewatched movies. Be sure to subscribe or follow for more, and leave a rating or review to let me know how you’re enjoying this project. Next week I will be joined by another guest, and as always, I will leave you with a quote from the movie we’ll be discussing then: “Yeah, he was here, but he put an egg in his shoe and beat it.”

#holiday #the rewatch rewind #cary grant #katharine hepburn

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illfoandillfie · 3 years

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please give me Anything himbo roger i need this like perhaps... him being obsessed with eating pussy? pls? - cloud anon

I’m so so so glad you requested more himbo rog because i love any excuse to write him lmao. This is a bit of a long one, certainly well over blurb length but what are you gonna do. I just have a lot of thots where himbo rog is concerned and then there was that convo a little while ago about dressing him in a maid uniform and I had to use it in here.

warnings: smut, hypnosis & bimbofication, dom!reader, fingering, pegging, oral sex (f receiving), hand job, a little bit of spanking, a little choking, a very brief mention of public sex, free use (perhaps leaning ever so slightly into consensual non consent), humiliation and degradation

Blurb Advent: Day 15

Future Management Series (all my bimbo/himbo writing)

Taglist: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini

The costume shop was quiet when you entered it, one of the fluorescent lights at the far end flickering. The lady at the counter looked up from her magazine, her gaze lingering on Roger for a moment before she looked back down.

“What was the theme again?” you asked Roger as you flicked through a rack of women’s costumes.

“The letter M,” he replied from one of the other racks.

“How did Freddie pick that?”

“Dunno, you’d have to ask him. Bigger question is what are we going to wear.”

“What about Mickey and Minnie Mouse?” you shrugged.

“That sounds easy. And we’d look cute as fuck.”

“Sorry, hun,” the woman at the counter piped up, “Sold out of them two days ago.”

“Rats.”

“Mice, love,” Roger teased poking his tongue out as he went to check out another row of costumes, “We could make them from scratch I suppose.”

“Left it a bit late though. We’re meant to have them by Saturday.” You headed to the counter in the hopes that the woman there would be able to speed things up, “Do you have any other costumes starting with M then?”

She sighed as she were being interrupted in a very important task before putting down her magazine and pulling out a binder full of lists of stock. Flicking through it she located the section with M. An awful lot of it had been crossed out.

“How many people are invited to this thing? And do they all shop here?”

He shrugged as he joined you at the counter, “Roughly half of London if his last party was anything to go by. What are our options?”

The women smiled at Roger, her attitude becoming much friendlier now that he was involved, “Not a lot I’m afraid. We’ve still got a Mummy, as in Ancient Egypt, ummm, a Maid, as in French, Marilyn Monroe, Mary Poppins, a Monk, Mrs Clause, Medieval Princess…”

“Looks like you’ll be easy to sort out,” Roger said to you, “not much in the way of mens costumes though. I’d be an alright Mummy I guess,”

“Sorry, should have specified. It’s a women’s costume that one. Very sexy,”

“How do you make a Mummy sexy?”

“Strategically removed bandages. I can show you if you like,” she said this last part to Roger, suggestion dripping from every word.

“What about the Monk?” you suggested.

“Ehhhh,”

“Beggars can’t be choosers Rog.”

“Alright, it’s the backup idea. Would I be able to fit in any of those other costumes though?”

The woman thought about it, giving Roger a once over as if measuring him with just her eyeballs, “The Maid maybe. Think we should have one large enough.”

“Alright I’ll try that.”

“And I’ll go Marilyn Monroe?”

“You as Marilyn? Oh there’s a joke in there somewhere…something about How To Mary A Millionaire?”

You shook your head at him, “Just go and try on your dress,”

It was a good thing Roger had no qualms about cross dressing because the maid outfit fit perfectly. One look at Roger’s legs in the short, ruffled skirt had your mind whirring with ideas. He bought both your costumes, adding in a maid’s headband and fishnet stockings for himself and a blond Marilyn wig for you. And on Saturday night you watched him don the outfit once more, struggling to keep your hands off him. Without you knowing, he’d gone and bought himself a pair of simple black heels, explaining that if he was going to do it he might as well do it properly. Unfortunately for you they just emphasised the shape of his legs in the fishnets and made his hips sway as he walked.

The party itself was fun but you constantly found yourself zoning out, thinking about what you’d like to do to Roger before he got out of the dress.

“Love?” he asked, making you blink yourself back to the thumping music and loud voices, “You alright?’

“Fine,” you nodded.

Roger frowned and grabbed your hand, leading you away from the main throng of people, “You’ve been zoning out all night, are you sure you’re okay? Haven’t had too much to drink or anything?”

“No, it’s fine. Someone lit up a joint before and I must have breathed in some of it without meaning to.”

He gave you a look like he knew there was more to it.

“Also, maybe I can’t stop thinking about trancing you in that dress.”

“Oh,” his eyes widened and if it hadn’t been as dark as it was you would have seen a light pink stain creeping up his neck. He glanced around and then pulled you off down the hall and towards an even quieter spot, “and um, what might that look like?”

“I don’t know, got a few ideas,” your breath hitched as Roger pushed you into a dark corner of whichever room you’d ended up in, “like the idea of you on your knees. Bet I could see your arse if you leaned forward enough.”

Roger attached his lips to your throat, oblivious of if anyone else was around.

“Maybe spanking you or edg – ” you were cut off as Roger kissed you full on the mouth, his hands already working at getting his underwear and stockings down far enough to get his dick out.

“We’ll continue this conversation at home,” he said as he lifted you up, pushing your back against the wall as he moved your underwear aside.

It took a couple of days for the topic to come up again but Roger was still just as into it as he had been at the party. He’d clearly been thinking about it too because he had almost as many ideas as you did and for a week or so you discussed it on and off. It came up intermittently, sometimes a single idea out of nowhere.

“What if you tranced me and made me think I was your maid or uhhh servant? Maybe like acted really strict? Or mean even?”

“What about I get a bell to ring to get your attention but use the hypnosis to condition you to get hornier when you hear it?”

Or sometimes it was more of a conversation with each of you building on what the other said.

“What do you think about exploring that free use thing we talked about a few months ago? Like me just having you how I want and when I want.”

“Would that require a more extended hypnosis? A whole day maybe? More?”

“No I don’t think so. I mean, maybe longer than the usual couple of hours. An afternoon? Not longer than a day though, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that to you.”

“Then yeah okay, we did agree it sounded hot in a non-hypno way so mixing them together should work. Um, what about that pegging thing we tried?”

“You wanna do it again?”

“Yeah I think so. Again, it was pretty hot last time so doing it while I’m hypnotised can only be better, right?”

“Are you sure? We’re both pretty new to it.”

“Yeah I’m sure. I really enjoyed it,” he laughed nervously, “and I would have suggested doing it again anyway, this just seems like a good excuse.”

By the end of the week you had a pretty solid idea about what you were both looking for from the scene and what you’d both feel comfortable doing. And you arranged it so you were both at home on Friday, free to spend the morning relaxing and the afternoon playing.

After an early lunch in which you made sure to mess up the kitchen, Roger went and changed, once again putting on the dress, fishnets, hair piece and shoes. Only this time he wore one of your thongs, sheer black, underneath and a butt plug you’d picked up for him, complete with a pink jewel on the end. For your part, you dressed in one of your work outfits with a grey pencil skirt and white blouse, hopeful that it would make you seem more authoritative. Roger did a little spin for you when he was dressed and then sat in one of the kitchen chairs so you could talk him down into his trance. The scenario you’d agreed upon had him believing he was your silly brainless maid, hired to do whatever you asked. The sound of your bell meant you had another task for him, but it also made him extra horny. So horny in fact that he’d have trouble remembering what he was meant to be doing. As you dropped him deeper and he relaxed more, you noticed his legs spreading further open, making you laugh to yourself. Finally you rang the bell to wake him.

Roger grinned at you from the chair, “What can I do for you Ma’am?”

“Your first job of the day, Dummy,” you said, putting on a stern voice that left no room for argument, “is to dust off the bookshelf in the living room. It’s filthy up there.”

“Where?”

“Through this doorway,” you pointed and he dutifully stood up and began to walk toward it.

“You’ll need a duster,” you reminded him.

“Oh! Of course, Ma’am. Umm….”

“In that cupboard,”

Roger nodded, cheeks pink with embarrassment and retrieved the feather duster.

You followed him out to the living room, watching his skirt bounce with each step. He started off with the shelves at eye level, humming to himself as he brushed the duster over them, but soon had to move on to the shelves higher up. You perched yourself on the couch, acting as if you were reading though your eyes were on Roger, watching as he wobbled on his tip toes, his skirt riding up. You rang the bell and Roger jolted, looking around for you as he bit his lip.

“Yes Ma’am?”

“I think you might need to stand on a chair, Dummy. It doesn’t seem like you can reach the top shelves.”

He nodded and hurried to retrieve one, nearly running in his haste to please you.

The chair was a stroke of genius on your part. It gave you a good view up his skirt as he happily continued his dusting, especially when he leant over to get the far end of each shelf without moving his chair. You could clearly see the pink jewel every time and it made you eager to get him onto the next task. With another ring of the bell Roger jumped down to the ground and hurried to ask what he could do now.

“My shoes,” you said, pointing at the heels on your feet, “they need polishing. I want you to spit shine them for me.”

Roger blinked at you.

You clicked and pointed at your shoes again, “On your knees. C’mon, I’m not paying you to stand around and look pretty. Lick my shoes clean.”

“Yes Ma’am, sorry Ma’am,” he bowed his head and dropped to his knees where he stood, crawling over to you.

“Good Dummy,” you said as he trailed his tongue over the toe of your shoe. You’d wiped down the shoes earlier just to make sure Roger wouldn’t pick up any germs from them, but he was too brainless to notice they were already clean, enthusiastically licking at them. You made it clear you were watching him closely though. Midway through the second shoe you saw him brush his hand over the front of the skirt and stopped his shoe shining.

“I’m sorry, Dummy, is this making you horny?”

“Yes, Ma’am, it is,”

“Show me how much,” you wiggled your shoe under the hem of the skirt and pressed it lightly up, rubbing the toe against his crotch, “Hump my shoe, Maid.”

Without any more encouragement he began doing exactly as you’d asked, dragging his clothed cock along the top of your shoe, letting his eyes shut as he bit his lip.

“Alright, enough.” You pulled your food free and held it out in front of you, “Is it my imagination or did you make a mess on my shoe?”

He tilted his head to the side.

“I think you’re so fucking horny you’ve got precum all over my shoe. Is that right?”

“I don’t know,”

“Well,” you grabbed him by the hair and pushed him over the streak, “clean it up and tell me.”

Roger whimpered as you pulled his hair to move him where you wanted but thanked you for helping him and confirmed you were right. After that you felt he deserved a reward so you readjusted yourself, pulling your pencil skirt a little higher up your legs before you rang the bell again.

Roger groaned quietly at the sound, his breathing a little harder than before and then sat back. His eyes fell to where your skirt was gathered against your thigh as you crossed your legs.

“What now Ma’am?” he watched closely as you recrossed your legs, “Is there something else you’d like me to lick?”

“I don’t know. Is there something else you’d like to lick?”

He nodded, eyes still firmly on your thighs.

“Aren’t you just a pathetic little slut.”

“Am I?”

“I’m afraid so. Do you understand why?”

Roger nodded, still staring at your crotch, and then shook his head.

“Oh Dummy. It’s one thing to be my good little maid and eat me out when I tell you to, it’s entirely different for you to ask to do it. Do you see how slutty that makes you?”

Roger tilted his head and then shook it.

You tutted at him and knocked the bell as if on accident.

He whined at the sound.

“Crawl to the dining room. I want you to wash the floor in there.”

“But…please? I want to lick you soooooo bad and I’d be so good at it.”

“Careful, Maid. Now crawl.

“Yes Ma’am.” Roger dipped his head in apology and began crawling to the next room.

You stepped around him to retrieve a bucket of water and a cloth, placing both on the floor of the dining room where he stopped, “You know what to do.”

He looked at the bucket and back to you, confusion written all over his face.

With an exaggerated and exasperated sigh you handed him the cloth and, taking hold of his wrist, plunged his hand into the warm water. He gasped as you then wrenched it free and dropped it to the floorboards.

“Scrub.”

He nodded, looking mildly upset and dragged the cloth slowly over the floor.

You watched for a little while before coming up behind him, “Put your back into it, stop being lazy.” you pressed his upper back with your foot to make him bend forward.

His neck and face were bright pink, though it was hard to say whether it was arousal or embarrassment that was making him flush more. He did as you asked though, scrubbing the floor harder. You stepped behind him again, admiring the view and occasionally reminding him what you expected. After you felt you’d watched him struggle enough you stepped up behind him again. He pushed the cloth harder, expecting another reprimand. Instead you trailed you hand over the curve of his arse, pushing his skirt up higher.

Roger stilled, though you heard him whine softly into the floor.

“You’re doing a very good job, Dummy.”

He gasped when you suddenly spanked him but he pushed his arse back against your hand.

“You want another?”

He shook his head but kept pressing back against you.

“But I think you do,” You gave him another spank, “Now keep being good and see if you can earn some more.”

He nodded and smiled, though there were tears in his eyes, and then returned to scrubbing the floor.

You let him go for a while, stepping out into the other room to calm down and get ready for the next part of the plan. You could feel your wetness pooling in your underwear with how turned on you were at ordering Roger around and how much he was enjoying it. Originally you were going to make him wait to get you off until after you’d fucked him but perhaps you could have your cake and eat it too. All the same you headed to the bedroom to gather the strap and dildo you’d bought when the topic of pegging had first arisen between you. You grabbed them and the lube and then put them down again as you considered your next move. The conclusion you came to was that there wasn’t much point having a desperate bimbo toy if you were only going to deny yourself. Roger came as much as he wanted when you were the one under his influence, so why shouldn’t you do the same. You quickly shimmied out of your underwear, and then picked everything up again, dropping it on the couch in the living room on your way back to see how Roger was getting along. He was still scrubbing though he’d spilt some of the water as he’d moved the bucket, the top of his dress wet in patches. You pulled out one of the chairs, standing in front of it as you rang the bell, and watched as Roger squirmed at the sound.

“What can I do for you Ma’am?”

“Come here.”

He immediately dropped the cloth and crawled towards you.

“Good Dummy. Need your fingers to make me feel good.” You rucked your skirt up and dropped onto the seat, placing one leg up on the table.

Rogers eyes lit up and he leaned forward as if to lick hungrily along your slit.

You grabbed his hair and held him back.

“Ma’am?” Roger whined, struggling against your grip with his tongue hanging out, desperate to reach your cunt.

“I said fingers, slut.”

Roger whimpered again but brought his hand up, trailing his fingers along your slit.

“That’s right Dummy. You’re gonna finger me and make me cum and you’re going to keep your eyes up here so I know you’ll behave yourself.”

He nodded rapidly, his eyes on yours, “You’re wet,”

“You know how much I like watching your cute little arse work. C’mon, finger me,” you instructed, waiting until he’d sunk one digit into you before continuing, “Love seeing you with that pretty plug. Makes me want to use you.”

“Ma’am can I…?”

“I didn’t say you could talk. Focus.”

Roger’s eyebrows furrowed as he pulled his finger out and pressed it back in.

“You look confused Slut. What’s the matter?”

“Is this good?”

You smiled indulgently at that, half convinced he’d been about to ask to eat you out again, “So good Dummy. Add a second finger.”

He did as you asked, automatically curling them against you as he pulled them out.

“You’re such a good, obedient servant.” You relaxed back into the chair, letting Roger find a good rhythm.

He was quiet for a bit, concentrating, and then “Can I lick you now?”

You made a tutting noise, “I thought you understood your position.”

“Pos-tition?”

“I guess I have to explain it again then. I don’t care if you like licking cunt, this isn’t about you. You’re my maid. Your job is to serve me however I want, remember? I don’t care if you want something different. You’re mine to use how and when I want. Those were the conditions I hired you under, do you understand?”

“Yes Ma’am,”

“Are you sure? Then why haven’t I cum yet?”

Roger kept his eyes locked on yours as he sunk a third finger into you, pumping them faster and bringing his other hand up to rub your clit.

“Better,” you managed to get out, though it was much breathier than you’d intended.

Roger poked his tongue out between his teeth as he put all his energy into pleasuring you. You let your head drop back, rocking your hips in time with his thrusts as he sank his fingers deep into you, his other hand firmly occupied too. He slid his thumb between your lips and up to circle your clit, spreading your arousal over your cunt. The mixture of sensations sent you over the edge without too much delay, your legs clamping shut to keep his hand where you wanted it until you’d come down. Afterwards you made Roger hold his fingers up, cleaning them off with your own tongue. He whined and pouted as he watched you lick up your juices, so desperate to taste you for himself. You gave him a small concession though, grabbing his cheeks when you were done to force his mouth open. He looked confused as you brought your face close and spat onto his tongue, your saliva tinged with what you’d just licked from his fingers. But he thanked you with a big smile and a small hum of satisfaction as he swallowed it.

“What now Ma’am?” he asked softly, sitting up straighter and glancing at the bell.

You bumped the bell against your palm as if in thought, watching Roger wince with each ring, “The kitchen needs a tidy up. Go in there and wipe down all the benches for me, okay? I’ll be back soon to check on you.”

Roger nodded and walked on unsteady legs back through the house. You followed him, needing to point him in the right direction a couple of times, and then continued on to the living room to collect your supplies and remove your skirt. It took you a little while to figure out the harness. Last time Roger had helped you get set up so doing it on your own was a little confusing. You took a breath and reminded yourself you were a smart and capable woman and that you could figure out a simple sex toy on your own, and eventually got it on right. When you were comfortable you popped open the lube and spread more than you thought you’d need along the shaft of the toy. It still felt a little bizarre to look down and see a penis, even if it was obviously fake. The first time you’d tried it on you’d wondered aloud if the work you did for those living rough would have been easier to achieve if you had a real one and Roger had suggested you wear it to work one day and find out. You’d laughed at how ridiculous that was and the memory made you chuckle again as you double checked everything was in the right place.

Roger was in the kitchen when you arrived, standing at the bench with a cloth in his hand, humming to himself, though he seemed to have forgotten what he was meant to be doing. You stepped behind him and ran your hand up the inside of his thigh, over the stockings.

The humming stopped and he stilled, “Ma’am?”

“Bend over.”

He did as you asked, his chest and arms leaning on the bench.

You felt him up, letting your hands roam under his skirt, brushing over his cock and along his thigh and over his arse, making his shiver and whine. “Good thing this dress is so short, Dummy. Makes it so much easier for me. And it makes you look like a slut. You’re very hard by the way, does that mean you like it when I tell you what to do?”

His voice was soft when he spoke to the bench top, “Yes, Ma’am,”

“That’s good because I like telling you what to do. And you should be happy to know that I’m wet from watching my brainless maid working all day.”

“I am happy!”

“You are?”

“Mmhmm. Maybe I could help you Ma’am, I love cunt so much.”

“Aww Dummy,” you cooed, stroking your fingers through his hair, “That’s sweet of you to offer but it’s not what I want right now,” you took the fishnets in both hands and tugged until a rip formed right along the back, “For now I want you to stay bent over for me so I can use you. Just like I talked about before, remember?”

“When you said I’m yours to use how you want?”

“You do remember! Good boy!”

“And you said, ummmm,” he gasped as you moved his underwear aside and began slowly working the plug out of him, adding lube to make it easier

“Go one, what else did I say?” you asked as you pushed the plug back in, fucking him with it, adding more lube as necessary.

“Umm, you said they were the,” he stretched out the word as he thought hard, “oh! The co-com-bit-ons and that its, umm, my job to serve you?”

“Very good! That was so much to remember, I’m very impressed.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Dummy. I think I’ll have to give you a reward for remembering it all so well.”

Roger looked over his shoulder at you, grinning, “Thank you Ma’am,”

“Alright, turn back around, I’m still going to use you. Because….?”

“Because I’m yours?”

“Good boy,” you pulled the plug free and placed it on the bench beside you. Squeezing some more lube onto your fingers you began spreading it over his arsehole.

“‘s cold,” he said softly to the bench.

“I know baby, but it won’t be for long. And I gotta make sure there’s enough so that I don’t hurt you. And then you’ll be all ready for my cock.”

Roger nodded, flattening himself on the bench as you lined up the tip of the dildo and slowly sank into him.

Roger made a high pitched keening noise and you reached out to stroke his hair again as he adjusted.

“You okay, baby?” you asked letting the stern act drop for a moment.

Roger nodded, “yeah, ‘m okay. Just feels funny.”

“But good though?”

“Mmhmm. Good.”

“Good. I want you to like it. It’s more fun when you do.”

“I do!” as if to prove it he pushed his hips back, making you sink a little deeper.

“I can see that,” you laughed, “I’m gonna fuck you now, okay Dummy, and you’re going to enjoy it, right?”

He nodded, whining as you pulled your hips back slowly and then thrust forward again, figuring out your rhythm and adjusting to the sort of muscle movement it required. As you got more comfortable with it you let yourself be a little firmer, grasping Roger’s waist and fucking him harder, drawing more gasps and whines and moans from him. You varied your speed, sometimes faster and sometimes slower, keeping Roger from knowing exactly what you would do next (and giving yourself a break every so often). He’d taken your instruction to enjoy it to heart though. His fingernails scraped along the top of the bench as he tried to ground himself, rocking his hips back against you whenever you slowed.

“I want you to cum, Dummy. Rub your cock through your pretty sheer panties.”

“Th-through?”

“Over your panties.”

“Um,”

You stilled your hips and pulled out of him so you could grab his hand and lift his skirt, placing his palm over his cock, “now rub.”

He nodded, swallowing hard as he began to stroke himself. His hand stilled as you plunged into him again but a warning word made him remember what you wanted and he shakily followed your orders as you fucked him hard.

“How does it feel, Maid, being used for my entertainment?”

Roger babbled something incomprehensible in response. You couldn’t tell if it was just noise or if he’d been trying to form words but it was hot either way.

“C’mon, show me how much you like being my pretty little fuck doll. Be the pathetic little slut I know you are, and cum.” You panted between the words but Roger didn’t seem to notice or if he did he didn’t care. It must have sounded authoritative enough because a few seconds later he was moaning, his fingers twitching and legs shaking as he came. You slowed to a stop and replaced the dildo with his plug again before fixing his underwear and smoothing down his skirt.

“There, all pretty again,”

“Thank you Ma’am,” he sighed.

You patted his head, “Finish up cleaning off the benches in here and I’ll have another job for you.” You walked off, releasing a long breath once you were out of his hearing.

In the time it took you to get out of the harness, put your skirt back on, throw the dildo into a sink of hot water and relocate the bell, Roger achieved very little. He hadn’t moved from where you’d bent him over though he had stood up and grabbed his cloth again, drawing circles with it over the benchtop. When you came back to get him for his next job he was shifting from foot to foot.

“What’s the matter, Dummy?”

“Nothing,”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded though he didn’t meet your eye.

“Tell me.”

“My panties…”

“Aww, is it a bit uncomfortable?”

He nodded vigorously.

“Well maybe I can distract you.” You rang the bell and watched as his eyes glazed over and his hips jolted. “The bed needs to be made Dummy. Go on, off you go.”

He nodded and hurried off, his heels clicking against the wooden floorboards, his step awkward as he squirmed in discomfort. You followed him and showed him where to get a clean sheet from, watching as he pottered around the bed pulling off all the bedding, throwing them into a pile on the floor. Putting a new fitted sheet on the mattress seemed to be too hard a task though. It was almost cartoonish how much he struggled, placing the wrong corner of the sheet on the wrong corner of the bed and then somehow repeating the same mistake when he tried to turn the sheet around. He wouldn’t stand still, uncomfortably dancing around in his cum soaked underwear, getting more and more frustrated as the corner he thought he’d got on flew up when he tried to fit the next one. Every so often you jangled the bell under the guise of getting his attention to give him a helpful tip or reprimand him for taking so long, but it had the added effect of turning him on more than he already was, his face flushed and his eyes begging. You let him continue for a few minutes and then, when he next turned in response to your bell, you surprised him by pushing him onto the mattress.

“Ma’am?” he asked, voice trembling as you positioned yourself on his thigh and pushed his dress up.

“You made such a mess before, didn’t you? Ruined your panties and I’m afraid it’s spread to your pretty dress,” you showed him the patches on the inside of the skirt from where it had rubbed against the sheer fabric of his knickers and been stained. “Lucky for you I like messy little sluts. And” you palmed him roughly, “I think you like it too. Already hard again?”

Roger shook his head but tilted his head back and whined.

You placed your hand over his throat, “Don’t lie to me, Maid. I can see it; I can feel it. You’re a dirty little slut who gets off on being my property. My dumb little fuck doll.” You punctuated the last sentence by grinding against his thigh with each word, squeezing his length through his stained underwear. “I’m going to make you cum again now and if you’re good I might see about letting you eat me out. I did promise you a reward earlier,”

“Please,” Roger whimpered, “I’ll make you feel so, so good.”

“I know, Dummy. But not yet.” You squeezed his throat at the same time you rubbed your hand over his cock, choking off the moan that had begun to build. Roger squirmed under you as you wanked him off, cooing at him about how pretty he looked and how wet it was making you. Each stroke along his shaft was accompanied by a breathy whine or moan, his head tilted back and his eyes fluttering shut. It was always fun to watch Roger be pushed towards release when he was tranced. It was fun when he wasn’t hypnotised either but there was something about taking his brain away that made him more animated and vocal. He babbled at you again, his hand grabbing your wrist as he got closer, his back arching as he tried to buck his hips up into you.

“Good boy, good Dummy,” you praised him as he finished, able to feel the warmth of his release fill the material again as you kept stroking him, milking every drop you could. He whined loudly as he became more sensitive, but you kept toying with him until tears began leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“Alright, Dummy, stay there while I take my skirt off.”

Roger remained lying where you left him, so you gave him a soft kiss and wiped away his tears, praising him a little more, before you swung your leg over his face and finally let him have what he wanted.

It was as if you’d told him he’d won the lottery. He just about cheered as he thanked you repeatedly and then wrapped his arms around your thighs to pull you down onto his tongue. You had to stick out an arm to try and steady yourself as he devoured you, excitedly tracing your lips with his tongue, sucking them into his mouth. He hummed and whimpered against you and used his hands to encourage you to rock yourself against his mouth, spreading your wetness across his face. At one point, so giddy with joy, he giggled, and you jolted at the bizarre tickling sensation of his breath. But that just seemed to spur him on as he licked and sucked every inch of your cunt he could reach. You weren’t sure if his end goal was to make you cum or if he just got very excited and enthusiastic about pussy but, either way, the result was the same. It was impossible to hold back your release as his tongue slid along your folds and his lips latched onto you. He hummed as you gasped and tensed above him, refusing to stop until you pried his hands from your thighs and let yourself fall back to the bed. He pouted as if he wanted to throw a tantrum at having his favourite food taken away, but you managed to make him smile by telling him how incredible you felt and how good he was.

He let you lie down next to him and listened quietly as you talked him out of the trance, reminding him who he was and the reality of your situation. You waited as Roger opened his eyes, stroking his hair back from his face softly as everything returned to him.

“Wow,” was the first thing he said, “That was,” he cleared his throat and pushed himself to sit up, “that was something.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, a very fun something,” he hurried to clarify so you wouldn’t worry, “I take it you enjoyed yourself too?”

You laughed and nodded, “Definitely. This is going to sound bad but I like being mean to you.”

“I get it,” he leaned over to kiss you softly, “I like being mean to you too.”

“And the pegging and free use stuff? All of that was okay? How do you feel now?”

“Oh, better than okay. That was brilliant. We’re definitely playing with them more in the future. Bit sore now and I really, really want to get out of this thong. Also take the plug out.”

“I can arrange that. D’you want some help with the plug?”

“Yes please.” Roger shifted onto his stomach, trying to relax so you could peel off the underwear and slowly wiggle the plug out of his arse, “Add these knickers to the list of ones I’ve ruined though.”

“That’s only cause I get such a kick out of making you cum in your pants.”

He hummed, wincing a little as the plug slipped all the way out, “y’know one of these days I’m going to wake up from a trance and decide to gag you with whatever underwear you made me destroy while I keep eating you out. I still have a bit of a lingering need to have my head between your legs and I do so enjoy overstimulating you.”

“Save that for a special occasion,” you laughed, giving his bum a tap to let him know he could roll over, “C’mon, shall I run us a bath?”

Roger nodded and let you pull him up, kissing you softly before he stood on slightly wobbly legs followed you out of the bedroom.

#my writing #my blurbs #or rather #my fics #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor smut #roger taylor imagine #lord have mercy #i need to lie down for 12 years after this #Anonymous #blurb advent 2020

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aliveandfullofjoy · 3 years

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So I was reading about the first Oscars ceremony, and it had a division between Outstanding Picture and Best Unique & Artistic Film, where Unique & Artistic was apparently meant to be an equal to Outstanding Picture but dedicated more for prestige artistic works. The next year, the two categories became one from then on, and Outstanding Picture was the only top prize. (If any of that is wrong, blame wikipedia.)

If the split had remained, and there was a more commercial-y movie top prize and a prestige art top prize, what are some notable movies that suddenly pick up wins?

okay wait........ this is a brilliant question and i am ashamed to say i’ve never really given it much thought until now.

idk if you’ve seen wings and sunrise but they’re both pretty great and they do represent wildly different kinds of filmmaking. while it’s safe to say Wings is the more commercial film, it has great craftsmanship behind it and it very clearly created the template for accessible, capital-i Important, and well-made best picture winners to come.

and, full transparency, sunrise is one of my, like, top 15 favorite movies, so i’m hella biased, but that movie is a gorgeous and strange and thrilling piece of work. the title “unique and artistic film” is impossibly vague, but watching sunrise makes it very, very clear that it fits that bill for that category. and while we’ll, of course, never know what might have happened if that category had continued, it’s tempting to think that all the winners in unique and artistic film would be of sunrise’s calibre, but knowing the oscars... that’s clearly a fantasy, lol. while sunrise is a wildly inventive and artistic film, it’s important to remember that it was fully on the academy’s radar -- janet gaynor won best actress in part for her performance in the film, and it also won best cinematography. so while it’s tempting to think the academy would always recognize a truly unique and artistic achievement every year, in all likelihood, they probably wouldn’t stray too far from the movies that were already on their radar.

so for this thought experiment!!

it’s probably safe to assume every best picture winner has to go in one of the two categories. there are only a handful of winners that stick out as maybe missing out on the big win in this new system, but only a handful.

so uh. this is way more than you asked but i got hooked. here’s what i think might have happened if the two best picture categories had stuck around. as i was working through the years, it became clear to me that, unfortunately, in a lot of years, the unique and artistic film would likely end up going to the more overtly “prestigious” films, such as the song of bernadette or the life of emile zola, while their far better and more commercially viable rivals (casablanca for bernadette, the awful truth for zola) would win outstanding picture. the actual best picture winners have an asterisk next to them. what’s also interesting to consider is the importance of the best director category: most of the time, a split in picture and director will tell you what’s clearly the runner-up. those years, usually, give you a good sense of how the two awards would shake out.

Outstanding Picture / Unique and Artistic Film

1929: The Broadway Melody*; The Divine Lady

1930: The Big House; All Quiet on the Western Front*

1931: Cimarron*; Morocco

1932: Grand Hotel*; Bad Girl

1933: Little Women; Cavalcade*

1934: It Happened One Night*; One Night of Love

1935: The Informer; A Midsummer Night’s Dream (** this is one of the few years i think the actual BP winner, Mutiny on the Bounty, would miss out; The Informer was clearly the runner-up for BP with wins in director, actor, and screenplay, while Midsummer was seen as THE artistic triumph of the year, and with its historic write-in cinematography win, there was clearly a lot of passion for it)

1936: Mr. Deeds Goes to Town; The Great Ziegfeld*

1937: The Awful Truth; The Life of Emile Zola*

1938: You Can’t Take It With You*; Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs or Grand Illusion (** this one’s tough... Grand Illusion made history as the first non-english movie nominated for BP, and it clearly had a lot of support, but Snow White was such a monumental moment in Hollywood, and the academy clearly acknowledged that with its honorary award)

1939: Gone with the Wind*; The Wizard of Oz (** this is one of the first years with a clear runaway favorite for best picture, which makes guessing the way the other award would go very difficult! i’m leaning towards Oz purely because of its technical achievements, but i’m not confident about that choice at all.)

1940: Rebecca*; The Grapes of Wrath

1941: How Green Was My Valley*; Citizen Kane

1942: Yankee Doodle Dandy; Mrs. Miniver*

1943: Casablanca*; The Song of Bernadette

1944: Going My Way*; Wilson

1945: The Bells of St. Mary’s; The Lost Weekend*

1946: The Best Years of Our Lives*; Henry V

1947: Gentleman’s Agreement*; A Double Life

1948: The Treasure of the Sierra Madre; Hamlet*

1949: All the King’s Men*; The Heiress

1950: All About Eve*; Sunset Boulevard

1951: A Place in the Sun; An American in Paris*

1952: The Greatest Show on Earth*; The Quiet Man

1953: Roman Holiday; From Here to Eternity*

1954: The Country Girl; On the Waterfront*

1955: Marty*; Picnic

1956: Around the World in 80 Days*; Giant

1957: Peyton Place; The Bridge on the River Kwai

1958: The Defiant Ones; Gigi*

1959: The Diary of Anne Frank; Ben-Hur*

1960: Elmer Gantry; The Apartment*

1961: West Side Story*; Judgment at Nuremberg

1962: To Kill a Mockingbird; Lawrence of Arabia*

1963: Tom Jones*; 8½

1964: Mary Poppins; My Fair Lady*

1965: The Sound of Music*; Doctor Zhivago

1966: A Man for All Seasons*; Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

1967: In the Heat of the Night*; The Graduate

1968: Oliver!*; 2001: A Space Odyssey

1969: Midnight Cowboy; Z

1970: Airport; Patton*

1971: The French Connection*; The Last Picture Show

1972: The Godfather; Cabaret

1973: The Sting*; The Exorcist

1974: Chinatown; The Godfather, Part II

1975: Jaws; One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest*

1976: Rocky*; Network

1977: Star Wars; Annie Hall*

1978: Coming Home; The Deer Hunter*

1979: Kramer vs. Kramer*; All That Jazz

1980: Ordinary People*; Raging Bull

1981: Chariots of Fire*; Reds

1982: E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial; Gandhi*

1983: Terms of Endearment*; Fanny and Alexander

1984: Amadeus*; The Killing Fields

1985: Out of Africa*; Ran

1986: Platoon*; Blue Velvet

1987: Moonstruck; The Last Emperor*

1988: Rain Man*; Who Framed Roger Rabbit

1989: Driving Miss Daisy*; Born on the Fourth of July

1990: Ghost; Dances with Wolves*

1991: The Silence of the Lambs*; JFK

1992: Unforgiven*; Howards End

1993: Schindler’s List*; The Piano

1994: Forrest Gump*; Three Colors: Red

1995: Braveheart*; Toy Story

1996: Jerry Maguire; The English Patient*

1997: Titanic*; L.A. Confidential

1998: Shakespeare in Love*; Saving Private Ryan

1999: The Cider House Rules; American Beauty*

2000: Traffic; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (** this is another year where i think the actual BP winner, Gladiator, might have missed out. it was a tight three-way race going into oscar night, and if there were two BP awards, i think this consensus might have settled, leaving Gladiator to go home with just actor and some tech awards.)

2001: A Beautiful Mind*; Mulholland Drive

2002: Chicago*; The Pianist

2003: Mystic River; The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King*

2004: Million Dollar Baby*; The Aviator

2005: Crash*; Brokeback Mountain

2006: The Departed*; Babel

2007: No Country for Old Men*; The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

2008: The Dark Knight; Slumdog Millionaire*

2009: The Hurt Locker*; Avatar

2010: The King’s Speech*; The Social Network

2011: The Artist*; The Tree of Life

2012: Argo*; Life of Pi

2013: 12 Years a Slave*; Gravity

2014: Birdman*; Boyhood

2015: Spotlight*; The Revenant

2016: La La Land; Moonlight*

2017: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; The Shape of Water*

2018: Black Panther; Roma (** again, i think Green Book gets bumped out in this scenario, i think Black Panther is precisely the kind of movie that benefits from an award that’s seemingly more ~populist~ while Roma easily snags the unique & artistic prize)

2019: 1917; Parasite*

2020: The Father; Nomadland*

but of course i have no idea at all, and most of these are just my gut reactions lol. what a fun question!

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