#Gender is really strange

[transbookoftheday]

Gender Is Really Strange by Teddy G. Goetz and Sophie Standing

What does it mean to be trans? Non-Binary? Gender Expansive?

What parts of gender come from society? What parts come from within?

How much is biology, and how much is socialization?

Part of the Really Strange series, this science-based graphic medicine comic addresses these questions and more, revealing the inherent messiness of gender identity and sex. A mysterious amalgam of biology and society, inherently sensed, yet societally-defined, the complexity of gender is revealed through examining neuroscience, biology, hormones, mental health, behaviour and how much of gender comes from society.

Exploring theories, thinkers, terminology, history and gender cultures around the world and across different religions, this easy-to-understand and engaging book will help you to question perceived norms and engage critically with your own gender identity. Get ready to break down the binary B.S. and celebrate gender in all its messy glory!

#gender is really strange #teddy g. goetz #sophie standing #nonbinary #transmasc #transfem #trans book of the day #trans books #queer books #bookblr #booklr

[phoenixyfriend]

If your favorite contains backing vocals, go with whatever feels right in terms of 'they are just as important as the main vocalist' or 'they are functionally another backing instrument like the guitarist or drummer.'

I know that the musicians are in fact just as important as the vocalist (obvious example: the guitar solos in classic rock, like Queen), but hopefully you get what I'm going for here.

#music #gender #bands #phoenix polls #inspiration for this is that a few years ago I saw a music video. it was Cake by the Ocean from DNCE. by all appearances a very normal thin #Except they had a female guitarist. despite having a male vocalist. and it struck me how strange that was #I'm used to either all-same-gender OR female vocalist w/ male bandmates (e.g. Paramore) #Or bands that don't really feel like bands. more like small orchestras. like Gogol Bordello or Goran Bregovic's Wedding and Funeral Band #anyway it's going to be fun to see what comes up here #I'm expecting mostly all-same-gender with a few fem voc/male mus

[milfygerard]

but fr outside of my contracted madness i absolutely refuse to give joe alwyn gold rush like how is that song at all related to their relationship the lyrics clearly spell out a relationship that either never existed or only existed in implication and fantasies and maybe-maybe nots and its so bitter and yet desperately soft in the bridge where it almost projects a sense of envy, of wanting to be them as much as you want them. It continues an interesting oft ignored lyrical trend of taylor wanting just as much to be her lover as to have them, envying their easy charisma (you were flush with the currency of cool/i was always turning out my pockets) or quiet dignity (your integrity makes me seem small) dating back to her earliest songs (the kind of flawless i wish i could be). Theres a projected self hatred and yearning to be better that twists itself into both romantic and sexual lust for her partners thats so fascinating and speaks to how all of her songs regardless of who theyre about are also an act of self reflection on who she is and who she wishes to be.

#barry.txt #taylor swift #putting this in the tags as a form of self protection but make no mistake this is a gay thing to do especially in gold rush #which through simple context clues is Obviously About A Woman or maybe even women in general #whivh is a totally seperate post on how taylor constructs and uses gender identity in her music #her girlhood and femininity are earnest but also so carefully constructed and so high effort and kind of desperate #shes a deeply self concious and obsessive person who never looks comfortable in anything ever unless shes #onstage or like. by herself in loose jeans and a tshirt #i think thats one of the things that subconsciously irritate ppl when it comes to her shes constantly and clearly putting in effort #to appear As The Celebrity Taylor Swift and struggles not to self censor or overperform in interviews (when she gives them) #especially present in pre 1989 interviews where the interviewers really didnt have to respect her or worry abt how they frame her #if they didnt want to. Like the fearless era rolling stone interview where she almost has a meltdown over her mom buying eggnog instead of #milk. That whole interview is strange looking back not just bc of the weird misogyny but also because of what it does share #taylor is....weird. She has a strange and desperate vibe and always reacts slightly too much and uses slang poorly #shes media trained and has learned how to socialize but you can feel her discomfort whenever she doesnt have a guitar in her hand #idk these tags have once again gotten so unweildy. i just find it interesting that she finally feels some level of comfortable #in sharing that construction w us in songs like mirrorball and mastermind and imo gold rush #and scene #should i write this up and put it in the swiftieism zine #i should write something and put it in the swiftieism zine

[sciderman]

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

#sci speaks #i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me. #i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men. #i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring. #also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life. #this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed. #lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??” #“why are you together??????????” #i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror. #i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better. #the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified #but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships. #just an observation. #i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but. #of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does. #it makes a difference. it does. #which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body” #im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me. #i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have. #my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here. #sorry this went off on a tangent. #but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues. #i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous. #i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got. #once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that! #couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.

[youthofpandas]

once again thinking about the part of Demian where Sinclair paints a portrait of a girl, decides it looks like his best friend if his friend was a girl, mentioning the way the subject is both feminine and masculine, and then later concludes it is more than that: it is a representation of his soul, fate, inner self, his very life itself. the portrait of the girl cannot be him but it could be the face of a friend or a lover, the face of his future but not his own future (the girl is not like him nor should she be) just that of those he surrounds himself with. the gender... Oh, how desperately Sinclair yearns to break out of the masculine he feels trapped in and be allowed in both worlds

#kris actually talks #meow meow sorry thinking a lot about this Always #i need to write my big long post about this but theres soooo much to talk about #this is a very good scene for its own reasons too of course but #i really like the gender reading too like ohhhh sinclair you can be like her its okay... you can have demians strange gender... #this all being tangled up in the era where he's so depressed and miserable and really facing what growing up means

[transgruesome]

in that weird in-between stage where I feel and look too masculine to use the women's restroom but get strange looks using the men's restroom ough. what if I just piss myself instead

#the US really needs more gender neutral bathrooms #cause i dont wanna get strange looks or risk getting attacked regardless of which bathroom i ise #transmasculine #trans #transgender #lgbtq #lgbt #transmasc #queer #trans man #trans ftm

[liskantope]

Did I just make a half-joke in my last post about the 2010's brand of aggressive internet feminism being dead? Have I mentioned more than once in recent posts that the I consider it a happy development that the TERFish ideology seems to have siphoned away a lot of the visible "women are fragile because men are so terrifying" mentality in more mainstream feminism? Well, that was before I read the below post that is apparently making the rounds in the last few days about the "bear test" and the oh-so-nailed-it commentary on it claiming that the "bear test" illuminates exactly two fundamentally types of men:

This "bear vs. man" question is obvious to me a rhetorical sleight-of-hand playing on a convenient arrangements of cultural emotion-based ideas of what bears symbolize and how protective a man is supposed to be around his daughter having men in her life and so on. Treating it as a serious thought experiment leading to an obvious conclusion about the patriarchy or something would be annoying enough, but first post has to inject that familiar gleeful smugness about how the simple question is guaranteed trip us men up and expose our toxic mindset for all the world to see and illuminate the writer's perfect black-and-white view of gender relations. (It reminds me of the question designed to trip up atheists: "You're walking down a dark street at night and see some shadowy figures coming your way. If you were to discover that they are people who just came out of a Bible study, would that make you feel better or worse?" Except I think that old pro-religion argument, much as I've always hated it, actually rests on firmer ground.)

As for the follow-up social media post, it's nice to know that, as a man who sincerely believes probability-wise that the bear in the woods is a lot more dangerous to my hypothetical daughter than a randomly-chosen man is (an assessment supposedly no woman holds), I am now properly classified as one of those men who is more dangerous than a bear, or (to a more charitable reading) one of those men who is providing cover/excuses for / not doing his part to stop the men who are more dangerous than bears.

(I doubt very much that there's actual data around on chances of a young woman being attacked in the woods by a human man or chances of being attacked by a bear, but I'm willing to change my prediction if I learn that most species of bear ignore humans who wander into their midst like 99% of the time or something like that. Which would cast doubt on most cultural treatment of bears, of course and also kind of undermine the punchline of the "test".)

#feminism #bad sj cw #kafkaesque sj #christianity vs. atheism #part of my issue is #even accepting the general thrust of their argument #what social point are they trying to make exactly #that men are more dangerous to women than vice versa #a point understood since the dawn of human society #our modern anti-rape/anti-gendered violence movement #was not really necessary for addressing attacks #by strange men in the middle of the woods #btw ironically the male tendency to be protective of daughters #is something i've seen characterized as toxic masculinity

[gothiqueedgelordedevorak]

Anyway as you can see here Asra uses He/They! I wanted to show this cuz many folks use primarily They for Asra even though in game and in QnAs only He has been used. I mean It’s not the most important info BUT—

Asra is canonically nonbinary and Idk if people have gotten any uhh bullshit to put it lightly from folks when they use they pronouns for Asra. So here we are!

#the arcana #the arcana art book #asra alnazar #I found it strange people did that but I loved it at the same time #and since the devs made memes of Asra laughing in the face of gender I figured he’d love it too anyway #but having this inclusion makes me feel like we need to be making art of Asra having he/they pins or something #honestly it is an anxiety I have that some folks have gotten harassed over the pronouns they used for asra #so this is really more about me shoving it in the face of hypothetical assholes

[wraithsoutlaws]

you know i had a fun little vp idea i wanted to do for the cyberpunk anniversary but i haven't had the energy to even touch it recently so i'll just settle with saying that this game impacted me in ways i never thought it would when i first picked it up 3 years ago. i knew i would enjoy it, i had been looking forward to it for a long time, and despite a ~controversial~ launch, i had a fucking blast from day 1 (on ps4 no less). regardless of bugs and memes and public dunking, the story grabbed me like nothing else could at the time, and it reignited so much of my passion and motivation for art that i had lost in the clutches of mental illness and i'll always be grateful for that. it introduced me to so many wonderful people (some whom i carry very close to my heart), and maybe most personally surprising, it gave me an outlet to understand parts of myself that i had been too afraid to acknowledge for a long time, the courage to accept and embrace myself as non-binary, and allow myself to just BE without trying to convince myself i'm crazy. that's not what i expected from the get-go but it's been a really fun journey to be on ngl

#yeah this fandom been a little rocky in places but i would be lying if i said this community here wasn't special to me #so much love and passion and creativity to be around and be inspired by #so many people who have been impacted by this silly little heartwrenching game #devs who have poured their heart into it to deliver something genuinely incredible #its one of those strange things that really did fully change the trajectory of this little leg of my life #to think that until 3 years ago i hadn't even touched art in a decade #now there are lovely people who want to spend money on my work #3 years ago i bought my first (and only) refurbished ps4 to play this game and now im sitting on a fancy gaming laptop #ive said it before but vp has been such an important creative outlet too #its allowed me to live my dreams of being a film director. a cinematographer. a writer. #the whole game has let me be so damn self-indulgent sometimes i feel like a kid again just unashamedly playing barbie #finding the JOY of just. creating. #i learned so much about myself through an OC because of this game #it went from 'huh what is this feeling? gender envy?' to being like full blown 'oh yea. i get it now.' so much of my life makes sense kfslf #and i met people who mean the world to me on top of it all #woof anyways #i know i say it a lot but genuinely thank u to yall who have encouraged me and supported me and who enjoy the things that i make #youve made such a difference in my life without knowing it!

[lockhartandlych]

told my mom i'm developing a widow's peak and she laughed, saying "yeah, it runs in the family among the men."

jesus christ with that and the neckbeard i really am intersex arent i

#slightly terrified #being intersex isn't bad i know that #but it's such a different foundation on which to view myself #that's probably hypocritical coming from a proud tumblr genderfag boydyke kind of person #but i just. idk. it explains everything about what i've been through and what im still going through #i've had other trans men compliment me on how T is treating me #im not on T yet #i've been gendered as female in public yet been told i need to shave my face #and yet i've been gendered as male when wearing makeup #it's so strange #my existence is increasingly becoming foreign to the cis experience even though im not even on hormones yet #and in a way it's always been foreign #both in the trans way and in the 'i have a ton of body hair and acne at age ten' way #im usually all like 'yeah! fuck the gender binary! destroy expectations! down with cis!' #and also like. im a trans guy. i should want this and in a way i really really do #idk why my brain is being like this about it #fucking hell ​am i ever going to feel comfortable in my own body?

[nitronine]

weird al is so manly and so womanly and so neitherly all at the exact same time

REAL!!! The general disregard he has with conforming to traditional masculinity is really great. He’s so cool

#I need to do more of an in depth look about how Al being branded as strange and weird gave him a lot of freedom to like #not conform to gender norms #especially as a huge public figure in the 80s #also really appreciate his gender fuckery since he’s cishet. we need more cishet gender fuckery literally cis ppl need to learn ti have fun #weird al

[cowboycunt]

reaching the point where i don’t care enough to define my sexuality but am attracted to people who get funky with their gender and women who look like they carry knives. that’s it.

#been doing too much thinking though actually recently in regards to gender and sexuality #many thoughts #not enough to do anything #but many things are strange #still debating if i’m actually attracted to men or if i just want to look like them #who knows teehee #doesn’t really matter anyways #if we vibe we vibe ya know ? #fish.txt

[ispyspookymansion]

i need to make a zine about navigating the (professional) world as a trasmasc dyke so bad i feel like i could chew all my fingers off

#if i cant talk about the strange isolation and dismemberment of my identity even in progressive spaces due to the general #populace inability to Grasp what im putting down and how i always have to give something up #unless im with someone i really know and trust. i think ill start screaming. #my work is great. my job is good. the company is very inclusive. but everyone there believes im a trans man. #and i dont want to vivisect myself trying to explain #kora.txt #sorry for making posts im avoiding tasks and waiting for my pain meds to kick in #like. i Chose gender at work because id rather be gendered correctly wrt pronouns and my name and stuff that has a more real and active role #in my day to day than lesbianism. but also its not two separate things to me youre getting me wrong!!!!! yk!!

[kneworder]

angry at the oscars barbie nominations but in an annoyinger way (i think nominating ryan reynolds makes sense but the best picture and best supporting actress noms are ridiculous)

#sorry but the more i think about it the more i really dislike the movie #ken was funny! he was silly and campy! i really did not care for the rest of the movie! #i just think the more you examine its take on feminism the more it falls apart! #it's inherently about a product! it's inherently personifying a product and making you feel sympathy for and relate to a product! #they are generating hype and engendering sympathy for something they are trying to sell you! #regurgitating second wave feminism without nuance doesn't make it groundbreaking it makes it like. fine i guess? #verilybitchie has a great video that put a lot of my feelings about it into words #idk it did not resonate with me at all and also made me kind of annoyed with how it contributed to the ongoing trend #of gendering things that aren't gendered and focusing on a segregation of gendered perspectives #tired of i'm just a girl! tired of girl dinner! tired of men are always thinking about the roman empire! #sure there are experiences more common to and relevant to women but i get so uncomfy with those kinds of generalizations #even when they're just jokes because after they get repeated enough they stop sounding like ones #just like. when you try to examine it in terms of any kind of intersectionality it falls apart #and i know it's not that serious but like come on. they literally do not once touch on any kind of intersectionality. #you can't be like 'it's a groundbreaking feminist movie!' because they said 'women struggle with misogyny' in 2023 #like i know it's barbie but i don't understand why there's this impulse to say that that's something that's never been said before #just because the president is black doesn't mean you've acknowledged like. racism at all. #just because you have two fat barbies with like four lines doesn't mean you've said anything meaningful about body image #and when you take an openly lesbian actress and give her short hair and make her strange and then have all the other characters #essentially socially exile her and still think she's weird after the resolution!!! #i would say that's like!! implicitly a pretty weird way to write gay people! #i don't want to rain on anyone's parade! it's silly! it's not that serious! i just also think it's not that good! #it's fine! it's fun! but i DO think ken is the best part of the barbie movie and for that i apologize

[crowtechs]

i actually have MORE pictures of her but i like these two the best !

um. ok. shes also a sona + a self insert! (shes a self insert for 🍒 actually giggling)

her names ashley! i love her so much. shes the reason i started to also go by ashley too! im not really on good terms with gender like almost at all and i go thru so many spirals about it but... she really has been helping me a lot lately with that sort of thing too (along with my other sona too dw) so she means a lot to me <3 i hope you love her just as much as i do!

[ please be nice to me about this if you do decide to rb ! ]

#kaden doodles #<- yes. were going with this :thumbsup: #also very important to note: the name ashley has always held a special place in my heart so going by it makes me really happy :] #sorry for being very strange about uh names and whatnot on here! i just have a lot of gender issues and trying to figure myself out #ANYWAY #i love her so much #if i could colour her i totally would but i genuinely dunno what colours would fit her?? #i love pink hair (IF THATS NOT OBVIOUS LOL) but idk :(

[tengu-feathers]

a book recommendation for langblr

i just finished reading kató lomb's Polymath: How I Learn Languages and tbh i would really recommend anyone interested in learning languages to read it!!

dr. lomb was one of the first simultaneous interpreters in the world and worked in 16 languages (Bulgarian, Chinese, Danish, English, French, German, Hebrew, Italian, Japanese, Latin, Polish, Romanian, Russian, Slovak, Spanish, Ukrainian) and i found a lot of her advice in the book really helpful and straightforward

(fun fact: it's available for free in pdf format via the tesl-ej website or the wikipedia link)

#language learning #langblr #studyblr #book recs #i would include a link but idk if tumblr still does the thing where linked posts don't show up in the tags #i've been rereading parts of it and i think i'll make a post or several about it later #kató lomb #i will say there's some strange gender essentialism in one of the last chapters but it's quite interesting still #ig it's a remnant of the times and i can see how the author would come to those conclusions...but it's still quite dated lol imo #altogether a really good book on language learning though!!