Blood-Soaked Love
General!Lilia Vanrouge x Human General!Reader (Gender not mentioned)
Note: I wrote this shit like nearly a year ago probably and it's been sitting in my notes ever since so here's a slightly edited version hahaajajahjajakksbdhdjsksk
Description: Under the cover of darkness, only there can you embrace you lover. And there, you must end his life as well.
After all, as a General in the Human army, your loyalty to your race reigned above all else in your life. And to think you valued anything, even your lover, more, was nothing but a lie to yourself.
The leaves crunched softly under your feet as you walked towards your destination. It was late, having passed midnight hours ago.
You should've been asleep in your tent, catching up on some much needed rest during this small unspoken truce after the dust of war had settled for the night. The battle was unusually gruesome, both sides suffering heavy losses.
You suspected that if everything went as it should've, the next day would have no fighting, perhaps one or two small skirmishes at most but no full scale battle.
That is, as previously stated, if everything went as it should've.
But unfortunately, things would not go as they should've under normal circumstances.
Because the circumstances of your relationship with General Lilia Vanrouge were anything but normal.
Of course, the two of you just couldn't be what everyone else thought you to be. What you should be. You two couldn't y'know, absolutely despise eachother. View the other with nothing but pure malice and hatred for what each of you had done to the other. But of course, you just couldn't be normal about eachother.
Nonono, you guys just had to have a 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳 after things got sidetracked during what should've been a very tense and formal meeting to arrange a truce. Why? Because a year before said truce and a year before the war, you two just 𝘩𝘢𝘥 to happen to run into eachother while undercover and then somehow accidentally help eachother and then share both of your first kisses-
So you guys just 𝗮𝗯𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼 be in a secret relationship for the past 3 months since that little meeting.
Seeing eachother only late at night under the cover of darkness, having to always be a hundred percent sure that absolutely 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 saw the two of you together.
Recently though, your meetings have been less and less frequent. From at least once a week to thrice a month if you were lucky. Confrontations in the battlefield were incredibly rare and both of you worked hard to ensure it stayed that way.
But, the decrease in your midnight randevouz's were to be expected. The war was getting desperate. Supplies, morale and manpower slowly beginning to dwindle on both sides meant everyone was desperate for a victory.
Including you.
And what you were planning to do tonight was precisely the reason why you were sure the unspoken truce would not last.
And so, as you stepped into the small clearing, your eyes locking with the man you'd grown love; a silence of mutual understanding enveloped the area. Not even the chirping of owls could be heard. Not a single animal, nor the trees dared to make a sound. Only the wind swept past, as if gently chiding you both to reconsider, or perhaps it was simply waiting in anticipation.
After what felt like an eternity, you stepped forward.
Lilia said nothing, only staring up at the moon as you sat down beside him, leaning against the tree he was under. The two of you sat in silence for a few more seconds before Lilia spoke up "The moon looks beautiful tonight, don't you agree?"
Gazing up at the full moon, you found it to be quite beautiful as he had said. "It is indeed."
Silence again.
Though, none of the silences were uncomfortable. But they were not comfortable either. Rather, they were... How do I put it? Ah, the calm before the storm. Both of you knew what was on the other's mind. You both knew what was coming, what had to be done. And yet, you both wished desperately in your heart for the opposite.
But unfortunately, the world was unkind. It was merciless. It had no obligation to listen to the whims of two people, so why would it?
Eventually, you stood up. Placing a hand on the hilt of your sword, you unsheathed it. "Lilia, I think it's time we ended this little game of ours" This stupid pathetic game of playing hide and seek with the rest of the world, trying desperately to somehow save a relationship which was doomed to fail from the very beginning.
Lilia stood up, unsheathing his sword as well. The two of you faced eachother, looking into eachothers eyes "Indeed. It was fun while it lasted, wasn't it?" He said with a hollow smile and you gripped the hilt of your sword tighter. "Yes, it was an honour to have known you. But I truly hope that neither of us have the displeasure of seeing each other in hell."
And with that, you drove your sword forward, aiming for the heart you'd long since trapped within your calloused fingers.
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SUBTEXT
so I've focused in on Perceval and Bors before, and I've done Perceval and Gender (for more on this specifically, see: Clothes Make The Man: Parzival Dressed and Undressed, Michael D. Amey) and did a whole comic that leaned into some subtext™ on temptation, but actually let's throw out the subtext! let's bring Augustine into this!!
Perceval, de Troyes (trans. Burton Raffel)
introduction to Confessions, Augustine (trans. Sarah Ruden)
so for perceval a knight is both the gender he wants to perform but also something that is expressly compared to god, and if god is a lover that seduces. well. does this not also apply to knights as well?
Homosexuality in the Renaissance: Behavior, Identity, and Artistic Expression, James M. Saslow
and while galahad might be the obvious choice, I think perceval's relationship with bors during the grail quest narrative is more interesting. it's not god that transforms perceval, it's the sight of knights for the first time. something in here specifically is incredibly intriguing to me, but there's a different text I need to finish reading to fully form some thoughts on it.
le Morte d’Arthur
and finally! tentatively. I think I might slowly start turning this idea I had a couple years back into a fully formed comic. we'll see! I had most of it blocked out, but halfway through reading augustine's confessions, I think was when perceval finally clicked for me as a character in a later narrative cycle setting. I think I might have to spend a lot of time doing some visual research first because my god I cannot consistently draw armor to save my life......back when I lived in new england, there was a museum with a wonderful medieval armor collection I could visit.....alas.........I will have to hit the books (literally, I have a collection of books on medieval armor but this is apparently the one thing I can't visualize properly in my imagination. save me, museum collections, you're my only hope)
⭐️ credits for the collage panels! (all open access or public domain, etc.)
-Saint George and the Dragon
-Saint George and the Dragon (different one lmao)
-Pages and Knights, Frontispiece for "The Man at Arms"
-Cloisters
⭐ if you like my comics and have a couple bucks, I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!
⭐ and other places I'm at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
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