#EXCEPT IT WASN'T stop

[emptyjunior]

okay LOOK we got a lot of new people comin in from twitter and I think if we want to act like this is the safe, algorithm free, wild west hellscape that we want it to be, this site has to make some AMENDS. Cause we all know there is a certain man that cannot walk these halls again, and his brother is Literally paying for a twitter check like a maniac. And who can blame him. We All know what went down.

We’re grown now, you’re a fandom vet. We all remember voltron glass cupcakes and bone stealin, the time for war is Over. So I better see each and EVERYONE of you sign this card cause I don’t think he ever got an actual apology and once everyone in the class puts their name on it hand it back to idk Neil Gaiman maybe? And he can pass it on

#there's PLENTY of room #go on now #Sorry john #john green #was actually very funny tho #EXCEPT IT WASN'T stop #hank green #tumblr #voltron #fandom

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No Sharing.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wen ning #Wen Ning voice: “A cuck *hold*?” (tearing up) Yes.....yes I think I'd like that.“ #(Seriously...That boy is in need of so many hugs. Being held by chains isn't enough. He needs kind arms.) #Drunkji 2.0 has arrived. And his first move is pout about WN being in the vicinity until he leaves. #I do not think we give enough credit to the fact that if LWJ was not in the picture (or had different chemistry with WWX) #Wen Ning would be the Holder Of Most Relationship Potential #Though I supposed even in the TV drama there wasn't any hard defined romance but wangxian was still strong and tangible #The mutual obsession is too strong for any third party to have a chance. #LWJ is only actively jealous when uninhibited (drunk). Sober he would not stop wwx dating someone else (wwx would never) #he would hate it but hate himself even more for feeling as he does. #wwx does not strike me as the type to get jealous (to a significant enough extent (JYL is the exception not the norm). #LWJ would fake date someone to 'make wwx jealous' and wwx would just go 'oh neat :) anyways.' (he is never allowed things for himself).

[theghostofashton]

one of the moments that always gets me in 2x12 is carlos pausing, as tk's urging him to jump out the window and promising he'll be behind. he says later he didn't think they'd make it out. so he pauses and turns back and tries to think, amidst his panic, of what to say. i love you? you've changed my life in ways i didn't think were possible? you're my soulmate? thank you, for everything. and in that moment he can't, because those words don't happen like this. one moment he's kissing down tk's neck and the next his house is on fire and he's going to lose everything, including this one person who changed everything for him. who gave him something he didn't even know he was missing until he had it. this was definitely not their first 'i love you' and he knows those words are for the quiet moments, when they're laying in bed together, or shouted across the room as one of them leaves for work, or murmured into each other's skin as they're cooking or cuddling or grocery shopping. not when the house is on fire and they may not make it out. and carlos is so stunned and panicked and he can't bring himself to get the words out but he also can't say nothing, can't let their last moments together (if these are that) be like this.

#once again s4 coloring in all these moments from earlier seasons and making everything so much more rich #carlos knew tk was his soulmate knew meeting tk had helped him stop feeling broken #he knew those things and he thought they were about to die in that fire and he just. #idk this wasn't anything i had no point except i love rewatching and seeing how all these things come together with new context #also ik i'm a week late to this ep we're ignoring that #911 lone star #911 ls meta #neha rambles #tarlos #carlos reyes

[americankimchi]

wish i knew what to do with this helpless frustration i feel every time i see people vilify the jedi for their way of life when the person doing the vilification doesn't even understand them properly. it's one thing to criticize and dislike them if you have an accurate picture of who they were and what they're trying to do vs. hating them because you straight up don't understand them at all 😭

#personal #this isn't vagueposting i'm just tired of seeing it every time i go in the tags or on youtube or on ao3 #literally if you boil the jedi down to the essentials it's just #''these are psychic empath space wizards wandering around the galaxy trying to establish a higher quality of life for everyone'' #a bunch of aragorns except anduril is a beaming blade of plasma #or gandalf with the ability to do backflips #the only hard rule they have is ''thou shalt not add misery to the world where you can remove it'' #everything else is just interpretations on that theme #''they're cold and unfeeling and they HATED ANAKIN and BAN LOVE'' #like WHERE in the WORLD are you getting this information #WHEREEEEE #SHOW ME YOUR SOURCESSSS #and don't say ''they ban attachments'' without understanding what that MEANS #ATTACHMENTS =/= LOVE #ATTACHMENTS ARE CHAINS THAT YOU USE TO DRAG OTHERS DOWN WITH YOU #YOU KNOW THE SAYING IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING YOU WILL LET IT GO? THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL IT IS. #and where are u getting that they hated anakin do you think he'd be so torn up about betraying them all in ep 3 #if he was surrounded by people who hated him for over a decade like mans was IN TEARS #HE LOVED AND WAS LOVED BY THEM IN TURN #IT JUST WASN'T ENOUGH TO SAVE THEM IN THE END BECAUSE #CRUCIALLY #HIS ATTACHMENT TO PADME DRAGGED HER AND THEM AND EVERYONE ELSE DOWN WITH HIM #stop stripping anakin of his agency he made a CHOICE #star wars is ALL ABOUT CHOICE. THE CHOICE TO FALL IN EP 3. AND THE CHOICE TO RISE AGAIN IN EP 6. #like cmon fellas..... fellas cmon........

[comradekatara]

it’s actually really funny that i wrote that whole longass essay about sokka’s sexism the day BEFORE seeing the news (and consequent controversy) of natla bravely eliding it because i wasn’t even responding to that, i was just thinking about this topic for completely separate reasons. but it does prompt a different, darker question… that being, oh god, did i summon this????? am i some kind of sinister prophet???????????

#accidental monkeys paw fml -_- #sokka's sexism discourse is the worst thing ever and i need it to stop #except for when i talk about it. then it's okay actually #but yeah. it's actually hilarious how serendipitous my timing was #i bet ppl reading it now probably think it's in response to that news #but it WASN'T #i just woke up pissed off for no reason and wrote all that!!!! #😭😭

[nomsfaultau]

I adore how toxic Mandatory Family Reunion emerald duo is. They're both completely incapable of objectively viewing the situation through their respective delusions (catastrophizing vs severe denial). Techno manipulates Philza for months. Philza traumatizes Techno to the point he's a shell of the man he once was. They both have entirely warped concepts of love. Each's entire life revolves around the other. They're so wonderfully dysfunctional that by the time Techno tells Philza he loves him it's one of the most devastating scenes in the fic.

#ahhhhhhhhhhh #i can't stop thinking about them #it just gets worse! #im looking up codependency so much like ?????? #but nope! Entirely different shape of toxic but i have no idea what it is! #Neither do they bc theyre both so delusional! #oh uh familial love in case that wasn't clear #except it so clearly ISNT love but yah #dark sbi #emerald duo #emerald duo fic #sbi fic #technoblade #philza #philza fanfic #technoblade fanfic #mcyt fic #something to nom on #Mandatory family reunion

[nostalgia-tblr]

I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron (apart from I skipped some overly long action sequences) and I am not sure so can someone tell me whether or not Tony Stark was the baddy in that film? Because about halfway through I was sure he was but then it was maybe just an evil robot after all and I am confused because either this film was surprisingly subversive or it was about robots hitting each other.

#I CANT STAND THE CONFUSION IN MY MIND #also i get why people wrote wanda/sylvie. they should go on a wholesome chick-flick revenge-quest together. and also they should kiss. #also i am now only *half* joking about thor being in love with mjolnir #it kept doing Christianity Bits which was quite awks. #not sure why it used the bit about building the church on a rock for some metal i mean wasn't jesus making a pun there? about peter? #i think Vision might be Jesus? or else he's Dr Manhattan who's done a first year philosophy course. could go either way on that tbh. #BUT TONY WAS THE BADDY RIGHT? WAS HE? WAS TONY THE BADDY OR NOT???? #with the homocidal glitches in what he thinks is his winning personality? #and all the weapons he's made and is in fact still making but now he only sells them to The Good Guys? #except look how easily they fall out with each other and also don't a lot of innocent bystanders die in their overly long action scenes? #also i need to write fic about whether mjolnir does in fact obey some unknown code that can be cracked if you set your mind to it #she does like Robot Jesus so apparently we can rely on her to make the major decisions from now on #the ending's a bit ominous - apparently someone's collecting those TVA paperweights to do... something? Oh no! :O #yeah i watched the MCU in the wrong order shut up this was inevitable and Marvisney should just embrace that at this point #(i know 'Marvisney' will never catch on but that will not stop me using it) #the loki series ending is but the latest installment of “unlimited power with no oversight is fine as long as the Good people have it” #UNLESS TONY WAS ACTUALLY THE BADDY. WHICH AS I MENTIONED I AM NOT AT ALL CLEAR ON. #maybe what i mean is was tony stark the baddy *on purpose*? #i only picked this one to watch next because tumblr gifsets told me thor wears a nice coat in it #which he does! but only for a small fraction of the film :( #journey into the mcu #the avengers (the marvel ones not the other ones)

[stinkywrinkles]

At the vet today for a gross ear and itchy scaly feets :(

#november 2023 #roxy #vet stuff #she was SO stressed to be there #last time was for her dental cleaning and extractions and she REMEMBERS #this was the only photo out of 20 where she wasn't climbing me or the literal walls #she struggled for every part of the examination #except while receiving a shot during which she was inexplicably an absolute angel #her eyes are like MOTHER HELP ME #and i'm like girl i am TRYING plz stop fighting me with the force of a thousand hurricanes #well at least the staff loved her anyway #and so do i #(wallet not so much)

[spocks-kaathyra]

"ur repressed" okay well have u even considered that emotions r purposeless and only serve to cause harm to those around u and I have achieved a unique transcendent state beyond them. have u considered that

#joking but like. am I wrong though #yeah no one is able to overcome the inherent human flaw of emotion and anyone who thinks they can is in fact mentally unwell #except for me I'm built different I have actually managed to transcend emotion. this is a good thing and not a problem #I saw my father's anger and my mother's discontent and my brother's self loathing and my friend's yearning. #and I saw how it only made everyone more unhappy. and I decided I would be above them all and never let my emotions rule me. #I was scared of the dark until I realized that fear wasn't useful to feel. so I stopped feeling it #this is a good thing and I am a paragon of mental health I think #mmm alternatively I was made to play mediator in a family of traumatized ppl and learned to repress my emotions to the point of dysfunction #but I prefer to think I'm enlightened and have no problems. this is fine and will not blow up in my face #anyways. just now realizing that this might stem from my childhood. oops #also realizing that I'm probably not aro and I just learned to turn off romantic attraction bc I saw how miserable it made my friend?? #well. I still don't experience romantic attraction. but probably I should and I will if I ever sort out this repression thing. whoopsie #really she was ready to kill herself over some white guy and I looked at that and was like. nope. I'm never stooping to that level #mm might not help that my parents never loved each other and I never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for me as a child #but still like really like what is the point. of having emotions. they're just not useful #oh hurr durr I'm angry at my friends for talking over a tv show. there is no way to act on this without damaging ppl and relationships #ohh I'm in love with this guy who will never love me back. THERE IS NO PRODUCTIVE WAY TO ACT ON THIS #literally emotions can only be destructive and I'm a better person for opting out of them #there are no downsides to being repressed! I can still feel positive emotions. I'm happy sometimes. sometimes I'm excited. it's fine #guy who is Unpacking Things live on ur dash. sorry #narcissus's echoes #vent

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Are there any companions you can't stand?

I wouldn't say I have any that I can't stand. Something that's so engaging to me about DA is that the companions have good, bad, and a lot in between. Honestly, I don't hate any of them. There are companions that I have more issues with than others, but I like them all; even, and sometimes especially, the ones that tend to be heavily hated on by the fandom.

The only companion that might fall into this category for me is Sebastian, but I totally acknowledge that I've yet to make an effort to use him when I play DA2. I legit just forget about him. How am I supposed to have a good grasp of his character when I don't engage with him outside of his companion quests? Plus I usually romance Anders so Sebastian always leaves my party in the end with threats of bringing an army down on Kirkwall for not killing Anders, soooo... yeah. Not the greatest impression he's left me with.

I would like to have a more well-rounded opinion of Sebastian because the concept of him is interesting; he's this chantry brother who is also a prince, but his family was murdered so he puts up a bounty on the chantry board [which admittedly is SO funny] and his companion quests are about avenging his family and helping him decide if he should take back his lands or remain a chantry brother. But then I talk to him, I listen to him talk to the other companions, and it's like... oh, the chantry has become his entire personality because the dude was brainwashed and now he's saying shit like the maker was actually the one who freed Fenris from slavery, and when Fenris tells him a story about how Denarius killed a child in a ritual for more power, Sebastian just doubles down that the maker has his reasons, like....babe, c'mon now.

I feel like I've read pieces about him written by fans who love him that are more compellingly written than he is, if that makes sense. Really, I would love to be educated by those who love him, especially Sebastian romancers because of all the love interests in all of DA, he's the one I look at and go, "....okay but why?" I have a lot of fun with character discussions and other perspectives so I mean that sincerely.

Also I think it's worth noting that when I play, I tend to get super into the roleplay of my warden/hawke/inquisitor, but while they have party members they can't stand, I have opinions that are separate from them, y'know?

For example, since I've talked about it a lot recently, my mage Hawke and Aveline butt heads constantly. By the end of Act 3, they're rivalry is heated and Ed's surprised Aveline even sided with him in the end because THAT is how much their relationship deteriorated over the course of the game... but then there's my warrior Hawke who adored Aveline. The two of them were best friends and Aris always gave her the benefit of the doubt, like she had Aveline's back through and through.

I've complained about Aveline a lot in my posts so it probably does sound like I can't stand her, but that's not true. Aveline's actually a companion that fascinates me, like she makes me go, "God, you're such an asshole, tell me more right now." and it drives me crazy how she and Carver are foils, like I love it so much, I could go on and on about how foiled they are, it makes me want to bite something.

It's very easy to look at Aveline and think she's just a bitch, she's a cop, she's a bad character, #Aveline-critical, bad companion, etc. I see it all the time, and not just with her, but with every companion in dragon age, y'know? I'm not saying that's wrong or anything; some characters just don't vibe with you or you have legit reasons for hating them and that's fine. I'm just saying some of it's very surface level unless you make the effort to elaborate.

If you don't like a character, you're less likely to make an effort to understand or see anything positive about them. You're more likely to have confirmation bias, so whenever they do or say anything, you go looking for the worst interpretation. I try not to do this just because for me, that's the "boring" approach to games like this but as we've seen, I'm not immune either... y'know, Sebastian.

But Carver gets this a lot, too, and I think I've made myself clear that Carver is my favorite, I love him, the Hawke twins are S-tier companions and I would throw everyone in Kirkwall into the ocean if it meant Bethany and Carver's happiness.

Now that I'm thinking about it, the characters a lot of fans can't stand are some of my favorites?

Like a lot of people shit on Sera, and I'm like "Nah, that's my girl! Listen, she's got a LOT of internalized issues, but we're working through them okay! She's getting better!"

And Vivienne? Oh, don't get me started on Vivienne, I have a whole deal about her. She's also an asshole and I love her.

My canon inquisitor is Surana who escaped the circle and joined the dalish, becoming Lavellan. Vivienne is a reflection of what Ash could've been if she hadn't run away with Jowan. She played the game of the circle, she stepped wherever she needed to step because Ash knew she was at a disadvantage by being an elf, for one, and for two, not coming from a family with wealth that would give her special privileges. Her downfall was buying into her own hype and believing she couldn't be wrong about Jowan, believing that she could either prevent them from making him tranquil or help him and Lily run away, and believing she was above punishment because she worked her way into being Irving's favorite. Yet it all bit her in the ass and she had to run… so then years later after living outside of the circle and realizing just what the chantry is, how it conditions and abuses mages and shit, she meets Vivienne who also played the game well and came out on top, who now spouts the same shit Ash used to spout and it's makes their dynamic sooo chewable.

Then there's Cullen who's not a companion but I lump him and Josephine in with the companions anyway. They're advisors, they're in the inner circle, they count.

He's such a spineless ass in DA2 like believe me, I get all the criticisms he gets... but he's also fairly polite to Hawke even if they're openly anti-templar, he's softer spoken, and he's unwell after what happened to him in DAO and Meredith's clearly taking advantage of his state... but then he becomes an advisor in DAI who is so done with people's bullshit and blatantly honest about it, like he looks at Chancellor Roderick like "this fucking guy again" and he's so ready to just go for it, y'know? Well... unless you're a pretty lady who bats her eyes at him, then suddenly he doesn't know how words work. Like sometimes I feel crazy because I find him to be so funny in DAI, and overall a compelling character that I enjoy interacting with even when he's being a total asshole. Yeah, there's issues in his writing but I appreciate the vision the writers were going for, even if they stumbled... except for Sheryl Chee, I don't appreciate her contribution of those few posts on the DA forums that everyone uses as a smoking gun to "prove" awful things about him. Nothing gets under my skin more in character discussions than bad faith arguments and there's so much of that when it comes to Cullen.

Actually, while we're on that, can I just add a note that when I first got into this fandom, I saw someone's post about Chee doing an interview where she said all those bad things about Cullen wanting to assault the mage warden and I was like, "What? An interview? What interview?? Where??" and I couldn't find shit until much later when I read another anti-Cullen post that cited a DA forum as the source for her saying those things... so not an interview. I went digging for the forum, went into the way back machine to find it.... only to discover that this smoking gun comes from a fanfiction forum where Mary Kirby was also talking about Sten and catgirls and y'all expect me to take that seriously?

We can have discussions about whether or not Cullen's a bad person or a bad character, but the moment you bring Sheryl Chee into it, I know you're here in bad faith and your argument is void.

Sorry for the tangent and the long answer but this is the stuff I enjoy. I could talk about the characters of DA for ages unprompted that when someone does throw me a bone, I will discuss and gush about them all.

#asks #dragon age #dao #da2 #dai #sebastian vael #aveline vallen #carver hawke #dai sera #cullen rutherford #vivienne de fer #i have to stop myself before i go on tangents about morrigan and wynne and anders and isabela and merrill and dorian and varric and- #literally everyone sksksks i can't help it #also on the flip side of this type of discussion i also love looking at characters that most people adore and discussing their flaws #like i love alistair he's my favorite companion in dao BUT it's easy to forgot that he can be just as petty and selfish too y'know? #if you don't execute loghain he can straight up just abandon you and leave and you'll find him in da2 as a drunk like... babe really left #and let you deal with the blight because he was so blinded by revenge and thirst for loghain's death and that's not great?? #not really something that gets brought up because it's unflattering it's an ugly part of his character but it's there mingling with the goo #and if you have a good relationship with him but don't know how he'll react when you spare loghain that can be devastating too #but it's also super understandable WHY he reacts like that WHY he leaves even if it's a selfish move on his part and hurts you #i dunno i think sometimes we're scared to talk about the ugly parts of our favorite characters because we love them #and don't want them to be wrong especially in fandom with a lot of pissing matches and bad faith arguments y'know? #i dunno this is my spiel of the night: i love all my companions except sebastian who is just a character that exists to me #i wasn't joking when i said i'd like to be enlighted about sebby and his romance like....... explain elaborate educate

[moghedien]

I'm so glad I got to play 2 hours of BG3 before my one (1) month old PS5 broke

#literally I have tried everything except restoring the whole console which I am about to do #its not just BG3 but I thought it was because that's the game I was playing when it just stopped working #but it just won't play any game now #I actually get the farthest in BG3 because I make it to a menu before it crashes #every other game crashes before I even get that far #everything is up to date #I've cleared and rebuilt everything I could without just straight up restoring everything #I actually uninstalled and reinstalled BG3 because I thought that was the issue and it wasn't

[danidoesathing]

I love dead man's hand

#dani speaks #again this is not that funny. but its funny to me ok #sorry but being annoying and unfunny is my brand #I saw the texts and went 'omg thats literally just dead man's hand' and then I was subject to my impulsive whims #also do you realize how difficult it was to find a single frame of these two bitches together without an emphasize one or the other #couldn't get a shot of them together that wasn't a wide shot or have their faces literally inches apart #like can you two stop being weirdly homoerotic for five seconds I need a good shot here #the camera was always focused on either buck or Johnnie but almost never both except when Johnnie was a literal corpse #I dont know why that is but whatever if I have to take an image of buck getting bullied by a ghost to make this meme work I will #lord huron #lord huron vide noir #vide noir #buck vernon #johnnie redmayne #vide noir movie #dead man's hand

[lulubeanie]

Does anyone know if we've got. black velvetopia tomorrow

#duck speaks #psychonauts #I finished Gloria's theater and waterloo world yesterday #waterloo world wasn't so bad actually. except that it would lag my computer a lot and I'm bad at the acrobatics lol #Gloria's theater stressed me out so bad though because I'm bad at the acrobatics. the catwalk part was horrible #I kept falling and dying and having to start over #it was pretty late by the time I finished both of those though so I had to stop before black velvetopia

[fauxwife]

hey guys. i'm super tired lately, i gotta be honest. this new schedule is really kicking my ass. in the best way !!! i love it. but. it's just taken a toll on me lately. i plan to be back around to write on here and my other blogs eventually, but i want to do it on my own time w/o feeling like i HAVE to be somewhere. i say this all the time kfcjgkf but yk. i feel like people do depend on me in places.

i did something really brave and bought a game for a franchise that made me really the person i am now. it's a game that really got me through some of the worst years of my life as a child.

i had a falling out w/ a couple friends though about a year ago now and we bonded over the game when we were close (mostly bc i got them into it) and once we fell out, i just stopped touching it bc i had grown attached to thinking about them when i played the game. i also bought a novel pertaining to the game too and it's been collecting dust since i bought it (which sucks but what can you do)

my husband had a talk w/ me last night. he said to me that i love this franchise more than anything, and i shouldn't let bad people ruin a game that changed my life. so, i decided in that moment that i was gonna take it back. like, i can't let these bad negative thoughts ruin me. and i can't let these people be a part of me anymore.

i know this is sooo weird and corny to say, but i'm playing the game tonight w/ my husband. and i'm excited and nervous. it feels liberating to admit that i am no longer looking back at any bad, toxic energy, and instead am looking to just love something that means more to me than any of these big fallouts w/ friends and it's like a chapters finally ending. like, i'm closing it and it's not in my sights anymore.

i also hope that if any of you are going through something similar, that you'll be able to overcome your own hurt and sadness when the time is right.

SO.. ANYWAY.. SORRY FOR MAKING A REALLY LONG AND KIND OF DEPRESSING POST, but yeah. <3 i had to share it here !! i've made some good pals in this fandom and i think all of you across my blogs are so nice and supportive, whether you've known me previously or are a new friend. i'm happy you are here. mwahhh <3

#❀ ᶜⁱⁿⁿᵃᵐᵒⁿ ʳᵒˡˡ ˢᵘᵖʳᵉᵐᵃᶜʸ. ( ooc ) #[ IDK IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT #IM TALKING ABOUT. #it's like when u get broken up w/ #except i wasn't getting broken up w/ #so. i think i will forever kind of be #scarred but #if i can just stop associating this game #i love with ex friends #i'll be good to go. #if i don't answer tho #PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT AS ME IGNORING U #i'm totally not. #just exhausted #and putting my mind elsewhere.

[fictionadventurer]

&

#'what do you do for fun?' people ask me #'write 1300 word essays about lincoln's secretary of state' i don't tell them #i am no doubt pushing the limits of your tolerance for american history facts #i'm pushing the limits of my own tolerance for my nerdiness #but i haven't had a fandom this fascinating in years #let me get this out of my system #i feel guilty about flooding my dash with this stuff #i'd feel guiltier except that fandom is kind of tumblr's thing #if i can deal with peoples' ghosts and vampires they can scroll past my presidents #i scheduled the post for tomorrow morning to give you a couple hours' break #i wasn't even going to write it out until i was like 'what other kind of post should i write?' #and the main idea coming to mind was about how the seward-lincoln story was giving me thoughts about some of my ocs #and i decided to cave and just write about the guy himself #it was a lot more extensive and time-consuming than i expected #i got a bit embarrassed when i realized how much time i'd devoted to that this evening #hadn't realized quite how far gone i was #i should really cleanse my mental palate with a fairy tale or two #or at least stop writing these tags and get some sleep

[chappellrroan]

i am feeling emotions

#went out just with dad for work and there was an accident and i saw this man covering the eyes of his both kids like yk #trying to make them look away worried #and then there's us who haven't properly looked at each other for 15+ days now #more like i didn't but i had my reasons and we barely even speak except when it's absolutely necessary or academic related #and i was just hoping this got over soon so we'll not have to be so awkward and close to each other #and then i see those kids with their father it's like #when was the last time you ever voluntarily tried to protect me from something when it actually mattered or when it did not relate to your #dreams like i don't even remember having you in my childhood #like there was a man who visited us for a month or two in a year and i thought i knew him and i thought i loved him but all that love was #literally me trying not to get in your way or make you angry trying to be proper perfect adult child so once in a while you could and go #yes i approve of you #i remember asking you that when was the last time you actually willfully asked me if i was okay and your response was well you're never okay #so what's there to ask must've been a very small thing for you but it wasn't for me #and i stopped expecting after that dw but it's even worse now #sorrys come in form of food or books or indirect remarks but sigh why am i even thinking about this #dni #mine