#sorrys come in form of food or books or indirect remarks but sigh why am i even thinking about this

[chappellrroan]

i am feeling emotions

#went out just with dad for work and there was an accident and i saw this man covering the eyes of his both kids like yk #trying to make them look away worried #and then there's us who haven't properly looked at each other for 15+ days now #more like i didn't but i had my reasons and we barely even speak except when it's absolutely necessary or academic related #and i was just hoping this got over soon so we'll not have to be so awkward and close to each other #and then i see those kids with their father it's like #when was the last time you ever voluntarily tried to protect me from something when it actually mattered or when it did not relate to your #dreams like i don't even remember having you in my childhood #like there was a man who visited us for a month or two in a year and i thought i knew him and i thought i loved him but all that love was #literally me trying not to get in your way or make you angry trying to be proper perfect adult child so once in a while you could and go #yes i approve of you #i remember asking you that when was the last time you actually willfully asked me if i was okay and your response was well you're never okay #so what's there to ask must've been a very small thing for you but it wasn't for me #and i stopped expecting after that dw but it's even worse now #sorrys come in form of food or books or indirect remarks but sigh why am i even thinking about this #dni #mine